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#in this family have made me feel. there’s solace in that at least
heavenlyvision · 3 months
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Begrudgingly betrothed
Word count: 23.6k
Pairing: Kuai Liang x F!Reader
A/N: It is done, I am sorry it took so long but as you can see, it is my longest fic so far !!! I may have gotten carried away but I am quite proud of this monstrosity of a fic so, please enjoy <33
Summary:  There has been arrangements for you to marry a good friend of yours and you weren’t included in the discussion, now you have to come to terms with wedding a man you don’t love, understand why you have been put in this situation and learn to enjoy leaving home and living somewhere new.  
Warnings: 18+ only, smut, virgin!reader, dirty talk, dry humping, thigh fucking, fingering, cunnilingus,  minor dacryphilia, tiny bit of size kink (if you squint), tease!Kuai, mentions of panic attacks, reader has both a mother and father, I think that is all !! <3
MDNI
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This is… not an ideal situation for you. You have just been made aware, not asked, made aware, of the fact that you will be marrying Kuai Liang of the Shirai Ryu. It has been arranged between your family and the clan, and they both left you out of the conversation. To be fair, it could be worse, you know Kuai and have for a bit now but you did not foresee this coming. The shock of the situation and neglect to include you in the conversation is what has you upset the most.
Also, the fact that Kuai didn’t mention this to you at all? Is odd, you are close with him and you’ve always thought of him as your good friend, so to have him not bring up being arranged to marry him, at all… is upsetting and suspicious. But in the end, it’s not like what you think matters, considering this has already been decided for you and you’d really rather not kick up a fuss. It wouldn’t end well for you.
Picking your battles is smart, it’s a philosophy you live by and going against your father… is a battle you would not win, not this time anyways. You can tell, when he looks you in the eyes to tell you what is happening, he is not concerned with your feelings, he is only telling you the reality of what is going to happen.
At least it is not a stranger but somehow it’s not that much better, since Kuai didn’t tell you. You suppose, he probably has his reasons but you can’t get over being passed around like property, it’s sad, it makes you sad that your father is casting you off so easily and it also makes you sad that Kuai is, compliant with it, at the very least.
“This is something that will be happening,” your fathers voice is stern, even.
You look him in the eyes, firm, resolute, “I am aware and I will not resist but that does not mean I am happy, and I will not lie and say I am either.”
He is unmoved by your voiced displeasure, “You will do whatever makes this process go smoothly and you will do what you are told.”
You feel, so much right now but your face remains emotionless, unwilling to break in front of your father, “Fine but I am going to tell you right now, to me, this is unforgivable.”
Your father raises a brow at you, feeling no sympathy, “I do not need your forgiveness, I have done nothing wrong.”
He is unbelievable, so you tell him, “I hope one day, you will see how wrong you are but for now I will live with the fact that you have cast off your only daughter to be wed without her consent.”
“And I hope one day, you understand my actions and realise you are being a petulant child,” he retorts.
You ignore him and his rude statement, “If there is nothing further to be discussed, I would like to leave.”
He waves a dismissive hand at you, “Yes, fine, leave.”
Standing to your feet, you leave the formal dining area. He had asked you there under false pretences, you had expected a nice afternoon chat with your dad over tea and instead he dropped this bomb on you. After you shut the door, you head towards the garden, needing fresh air and solace to collect your thoughts. This is going to be a… trying couple of weeks.
The garden is quiet, you sit on an old wooden bench, looking out towards all the greenery. It’s a nice garden, your mother has worked hard on tending to it, the flowers are beautiful, at least they usually are. None of the flowers are blooming at the moment, dead or dormant for the colder months. It fills you with a sense of melancholy to know you are not going to see this garden as frequently after your marriage.
You’re facing the entrance currently and so you can see when Kuai Liang is making his way towards you. Normally, you would be pleased to see him but after the news you’ve just received, you are… maybe not unhappy to see him but certainly not excited either and he can tell as much when he looks to you, his demeanour sheepish as he approaches.
“I’m guessing your father has told you,” he says, standing in front of you.
You look up to him, “You mean that we have new tea?” you say sardonically before continuing, “Or maybe you are referring to the fact that I am supposed to be marrying you within the next few weeks, something that has been in the works for a couple of weeks without my knowledge and not only that but the fact that this will result in me having to leave my home and move somewhere unfamiliar, with people I do not know well?” Your face displays no extreme emotions but your tone is filled with threatening politeness.
There’s a few moments of silence, Kuai only looks at you, not knowing what to say to make this better and to be quite frank, there is nothing that will make you feel better at this current moment.
Your expression changes to a more easy going one, “Yes, he told me.”
Kuai sighs, “He was meant to wait for me, I wanted to speak with you first.”
“Well, that is where you went wrong,” you wave a hand at him, explaining, “He has to be the one to do things first, he was never going to let you tell me this.” Your father has an odd complex, he has the only say in things and he will be the first one to inform others of what they are to do. ‘Orders’ come from him and him alone.
Distantly, you wonder if he told you first because it will be the last ‘order’ he can give you before you are given away to another man. This is gross, it feels like swapping handlers, you feel as though you have no freedom and that all the times your father had told you, that you were so much more than just a woman, just a future wife, were lies. Like he meant none of it.
It feels as though, the relationship with your father will never be the same again and coming to terms with that is going to be hard.
You pat the spot beside you on the bench, “Sit down.”
“Thank you,” Kuai replies, sitting cautiously beside you.
It’s awkward between the two of you, mostly because you can tell Kuai has more to say but you won’t even look in his direction, which is making it hard for him to gain an opening to talk. It feels mean, but you know what else feels mean? Getting betrothed to a friend and not being told, even though he knew it was happening.
You sigh beside him, “Kuai, are you sure about this?”
“Yes,” he doesn’t hesitate in answering.
“What about you and Harumi?” You were pretty sure they had something going on between the two of them.
He’s looking at you, “What about her?”
Your eyes stay forward but you really want to look at him and roll them dramatically, “What do you mean ‘what about her’? Everyone was pretty sure you two were going to wed.”
He turns his own face forward, looking out to the garden, “We are just friends, nothing more.”
“Be honest with yourself Kuai, I don’t want to be the reason you miss your chance at love.” You feel empty, this isn’t how you wanted to marry and it will suck even more if Kuai doing this causes him to miss out on love.
He is unconcerned by your hesitations, his tone even when he speaks, “I do not feel that way, not for Harumi.”
“But you feel that way for someone?” He doesn’t reply, “My concern is still warranted then.” You finish, his silence a clear indication that he feels some type of way for someone.
He wavers for a moment, going to say something before deciding against it.
You talk before him, making yourself clear, “If you still want to go through with this, in spite of your feelings for someone else, then that is fine. I will do whatever is asked of me but I want you to know… I think you should marry the person you love.”
Kuai stands up from the bench, his back to you, “Your concern is noted.” Is all he says before he walks away.
You’re left in the garden by yourself, Kuai has walked off, assumedly leaving for the day, he seemed to be getting annoyed at your pushing. The mention of him not marrying the person he loves probably displeasing him, which is fair but he also has the power to stop this from happening. This is all very confusing for you, no one even told you it was happening and now it seems like both your father and Kuai are neglecting to tell you everything. Neglecting to tell you the things that would have all of this making sense. Typical men.
At least the air around you is fresh, cold, but fresh and it’s helping to calm you down. Both the conversations between Kuai and your father not going well has upset you but at least the cool breeze is relieving, it’s what you need to gather yourself before moving forward. You’ll just have to look on the bright side… which you will do, when you find out what the bright side is. Because so far there doesn’t seem to be anything bright about this situation but maybe that is just your bad mood talking.
You stay in the garden for a while, thinking about all the things that are about to change for you. The actual wedding won’t be for a few weeks but that doesn’t mean you get to stay here; your father informed you that you have one week left here and then you are to be moved to the Shirai Ryu village. An upsetting fact but you will cope, at least you will know some of the people there. And by some, you mean Tomas, Raiden and Harumi, everyone else is a stranger but it’s better than nothing.
₊ ⊹
When you head back to the house, everyone is waiting at the dinner table for you and by everyone, you mean Kuai is also sat at the table. He had stayed, apparently and now you have to sit through a very uncomfortable dinner with your mother, father and Kuai – your soon to be husband.
Sighing lightly and mostly to yourself, you move to your usual spot, sat across from Kuai, your mother and father sit at either end of the table. Judging by the atmosphere of the room already, this is going to be a long dinner.
Looking to Kuai, you can’t read much about how he is feeling. He is stoic and looks to be calm, but you can’t tell if he really feels that way or if everything he is feeling, is occurring internally. His eyes lock onto yours and you hold his gaze, wanting to challenge him, his eyes are unmoving and firm. You keep looking at him but you need to blink, you try holding out for as long as you can before your eyes start to water and you have to close them.
When you look back at him, one of his brows are raised humorously at you, entertained by your poor attempt at a staring competition. It wasn’t your initial intent to try and start a staring contest, only wanting to display your irritation for this situation but now you’re even more annoyed that you couldn’t get him to blink before you. You aren’t even convinced he’s blinked yet, weirdo.
Scowling lightly, you look away from him and down to your food. Your parents have been talking but you haven’t really been listening, all your attention was on Kuai Liang and his stupid face. Why he has stayed eludes you but you’re sure you will find out soon enough, it’s too late for him to leave now, he’ll probably stay the night and he’ll probably want to speak with you again before he leaves, presumably tomorrow.
“Are you paying attention to me?” Your fathers voice booms from the head of the table.
Your posture shoots up and your head flicks in his direction to look at him, you don’t know how to tell him you weren’t. He seems very angry, he’s never raised his voice like that to you before, his behaviour is starting to distress you.
Kuai speaks for you, trying to help, “It was my fault, I was distracting her.”
Your father is displeased though, you can tell by the way the corner of his eye twitches slightly and how his mouth pulls up, he goes to say something but your mother talks over him, “Now, I think that is quite enough, let’s eat and they can talk later, hmm?” She poses it like a question but it isn’t one, she’s telling him what to do right now and he concedes, like he most often does when it comes to your mother.
Dinner is silent and uncomfortable and you want to rip your eyes out of your head because this is the worst thing you’ve had to sit through. Last time you felt like this was when your parents had been arguing for weeks straight and then suddenly stopped, choosing to punish each other silently instead… which was somehow, way worse than the yelling and bickering.
You chance a glance up to Kuai and he’s already looking at you, his eyes are sympathetic to you and how uncomfortable you must feel but you feel worse for him. This isn’t his house or his family, it must be incredibly painful to try and eat dinner with a family that is currently annoyed with each other.
Taking initiative, you push back from your seat, “I’d like to talk with Kuai now, privately.” You squint at your father, frustration with him palpable.
“Thank your mother for dinner first,” he mumbles out.
Turning to your mother, you graciously say, “Thank you for dinner, it was lovely.”
“You’re very welcome,” she smiles and scrunches her nose at you affectionately.
As you round behind her chair, you kiss the top of her head before grabbing Kuai’s hand and tugging him off after you, he makes sure to thank your parents as he’s pulled along. You don’t look back and continue dragging him behind you, leading him to your room. It will be quiet there and you can maybe get some answers out of him.
“Where are you taking me?” He’s being pliant, letting you continue to lead him, even though he very easily could get you to stop in your tracks.
You try ignoring him but he tugs back a bit, showing you just how easily he could stop complying with you. Groaning and without looking back at him, you say, “My room.”
He stops all at once and your back collides with his chest. He doesn’t move though, not even taking a step back from you falling into him. He leans down behind you, mouth next to your ear, “Is that appropriate?”
His voice is deep and sets you on edge, a shiver threatening to run down your spine at the low timbre of his voice. You suppress it as best you can before turning your face to the side, both of you close like this. You thought he would pull away from you but he doesn’t, he doesn’t move an inch. His eyes are lidded as he looks at you, it feels like his gaze is burning through you.
Your head flicks forward, not able to handle the way he was looking at you just now, all the blood in your body feels like it’s rushed to your face. He pulls away from you, a hand landing on your shoulder. You gather yourself quickly and tell him, “It is appropriate, I have questions and you have answers.”
One of your hands grabs his from your shoulder and you walk off again, he trails silently behind you this time, letting you drag him around. His hand is very warm, warmer than before, he’d be handy to have close by this winter. You suppose that could be a bright side, you’re marrying a pyromancer in the middle of winter. It’s not much but the thought makes you smile.
When you approach your room, you open the door to let him in first and tell him to sit anywhere. You follow in behind him, shutting the door and turning to look at him. He is awkwardly standing in the middle of your room; he seems to be having trouble deciding where to sit. You watch him struggle for a bit, before he seemingly decides to just stand.
Laughing to yourself, you walk up to him and push on his chest, he walks back until his legs hit the edge of your bed, “Sit.” You tell him.
He sits down, carefully, eyes looking up into yours, “You are demanding.”
You roll your eyes at him and move across the room, when you come back, you’re dragging a chair you had kept in the corner. You place it in front of him and sit down, crossing one leg over the other. His eyes watch the way your legs move before looking back to you.
Kuai’s frame is still, not moving and very clearly not relaxed. It’s funny, looking at this large man sit uncomfortably on your bed. He shuffles a bit from side to side, trying to make the best of his situation.
“Do you want the chair?” You ask, taking pity on him.
He looks to you, “I am fine…”
You get up anyways and move over to him, offering your hand to pull him up. He takes it but pulls you down beside him instead, your outer thigh is pressed against his. You jostle against him a bit, the mattress bouncing lightly with your weight and the force of Kuai’s pull.
You pull your hand from his and gently slap at his shoulder, “What was that for?”
“I told you I was fine.”
“Whatever, go sit in the chair,” you huff out.
“No, I am comfortable here,” he says, amused as you sigh exasperatedly at him.
You cave, letting him do whatever he wants, “Fine.”
“What did you want to know?” He asks, redirecting the conversation.
Your posture slouches a bit, already wanting the conversation to be over, “Why didn’t you tell me? That I am to marry you?” you pause for a moment before continuing, “You have known for weeks now, I see you every week and have done for a while now. Did you not think this was something I would have liked to know about?”
He thinks for a moment, on how to phrase his words, “You deserved to know… but I did not have much of a choice.”
That confuses you, so you clarify, “In getting engaged to me?”
He shakes his head as he answers quickly, “No, no that is my choice… it was not my choice to keep it from you, your father decided that.” He doesn’t look thrilled by your fathers choice.
Your voice feels small, “You could have told me anyways.”
“No, I could not have. You are amazing…” he places a hand on your knee and squeezes,
You squint at him, “I feel a ‘but’ coming.”
“But, you are… confrontational?” He sees the way you frown at him when he describes you that way and corrects himself, “Or maybe curious is a better word… you would have wanted to speak with your father as soon as I told you.”
Looking away, you mumble out to him, “If you were worried about my father… I would not have told him, that you told me.”
“It was important to him that I say nothing, he wanted to speak with you… well, together but I suppose he decided against that in the end.” He’s trying to be gentle with you, his voice warm.
Facing him again, your eyes are filled with emotions and you can’t help it, “I am still very confused, he… he never had any intentions of marrying me off.”
“All I can tell you is that he does now, I don’t know what changed for him but I had heard he was looking for… possible suitors for you,” Kuai’s face scrunches up in distaste.
Your voice shakes with your question, “He was going to marry me off to… anyone?”
“I am sure not just anyone… but he was looking, yes.”
Your eyes well with tears, not only are you being given away without regard for your own feelings but he wasn’t even going to… he wasn’t even going to marry you to someone you knew.
Kuai grabs the side of your face tenderly, forcing eye contact between the two of you. A tear slips down your cheek and his thumb rubs it away, stroking your cheek gently. “I know… I know you may be upset with me and maybe what I’ve done is wrong but I offered– I insisted that I be the one you marry.”
Kuai marrying you, Kuai asking to marry you, is a kindness. A favour he is doing for you, to prevent a marriage between yourself and a stranger and as upset as you are with him, you are more upset with your father. Especially since, right now it feels as though Kuai is your only ally.
Your lip quivers a bit, trying to hold back more tears. He shushes you and pulls you to him, his warm arms wrapping around your body and holding you close, keeping you safe. One of his hands rests on the back of your head, stroking it, attempting to comfort and calm you. You reciprocate his hug, wrapping your own arms around his frame and pulling him closer, he feels sturdy and reliable.
“It’s going to be okay, I have you,” he mumbles into the top of your head and you believe him.
He holds you until you pull away from him first, once you’re no longer worried about crying, you sit back properly and wipe at your eyes, “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for… I know this is hard for you,” his expression is sympathetic to you.
“I just… wish he had explained his reasoning more, maybe then it wouldn’t feel so out of the blue,” you sigh out before flopping back on the mattress, tired from the events of today. Your forearm covers your eyes as you lay down.
Kuai hums out to you in mindless agreement but doesn’t say anything further, his lack of a real response confuses you and when you uncover your eyes, you see he’s already looking at you. His eyes move up your stretched out body, silently watching you.
“Kuai Liang,” you call out to him, louder than your last sentence.
The shock of your voice contrasted against the quiet room has his eyes flicking back to yours, “What did you say?”
Something occurs to you and you sit up beside him again, he’s surprised by your sudden movements, eyes widening slightly. You turn to him completely, one of your legs crossed on the mattress.
“Kuai…” you hesitate to ask him your question but he hums at you to continue, “Am I… are we going…” he raises a brow at you, confused as to what you’re trying to ask him, “Do we have to kiss? For the ceremony?” You finally manage to get out.
He stifles a chuckle at your question, “Not if you don’t want to, it’s not necessary… you know that.”
Your mouth pulls to the side, considering things for a moment. He is right, it isn’t necessary but now you’re a little concerned about your future and what it means to be married to Kuai, “I haven’t… I’ve not been kissed.”
“Ever?” He seems taken aback by your confession.
You huff out, “I didn’t tell you to get made fun of, Kuai,” You told him because you’re worried about later, you’ve not had a lot of firsts and if you marry him, you want to respect that, you won’t be looking at others while married to him. You’re just, you’re in a predicament right now.
Before you can convey your concerns in a sensical manner though, he asks, “Do you want me to kiss you?”
You’re shocked by his offer, and also tempted. You suppose you aren’t really going to have many opportunities at intimacy after the marriage, not unless you ask Kuai, the thought has your face burning up.
You feel shy, “Do you mind?”
“Not in the slightest,” he assures you, “Though, if you want me to kiss you, you’ll have to ask for it.”
His words and demeanour set you on edge, his eyes are watching you very closely. Watching how you fidget, “Would you kiss me?” You feel embarrassed and very hot in the face but you add, “Please?”
His expression turns smug and it makes your heart skip a beat, “Since you asked so nicely,” he turns to face you properly and reaches forward, one of his hands grasps your face, the other resting on your knee.
He leans in but you hesitate and he holds still, “I don’t know what I am doing.”
“That’s fine,” His breath fans across your lips, “I will show you.”
Is he trying to kill you? He might kill you, his words and his proximity to you, it’s setting your skin on fire, “Okay.”
“Good,” he murmurs, before leaning in again. You don’t move away this time and he presses his lips to yours.
He’s warm and his lips are soft, you mimic what he’s doing. The kiss is light and tender, he seems to be feeling you out, getting a sense for you. Your hands reach out to him, of their own provocation and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you. He hums against you, his own hand on your knee is gripping your skin tighter.
He tilts your head to the side, the hand on your knee wanders higher, landing on your thigh and squeezing there. The grip he has further up your thigh makes you gasp and he licks into your mouth, the feeling new and overwhelming. He’s overpowering all of your senses and an involuntary whimper is pulled from your chest at the way he’s kissing you.
He grunts back at you, his thumb pushes into the hinge of your jaw, forcing your mouth open more. Giving himself more access to you, he’s taking your breath away, kissing you dizzy. You want to rub your thighs together for friction but with the way you’re sitting, it’s not possible. His palm against your leg is hot and it keeps moving further up, now grasping the fattest part of your thigh.
A moan slips past your lips to his and you pull him closer to you, he groans into your mouth. The kiss is hot and needy now, borderline messy. He pulls back momentarily, only to push your back into the mattress. His form follows right after, holding himself over the top of you. His lips are on yours before you can form a coherent thought, his tongue in your mouth again.
His hand grips at your thigh, pulling it upwards and resting it against his hip, not moving more than that. You reach up and tug at his shirt, pulling him onto you, your leg crooks around his side and pulls his hips to yours. The contact has a whiney gasp pulled from you and Kuai fights every urge in his bones to grind down into you.
Your arms loop around his neck again and you get lost in his kiss, in the closeness of his body. He groans deeply against you, as if he’s in pain. The sound shocks you and you pull back from him, your foreheads resting against each other as you huff shallow breaths.
“Are you okay?” You’re worried you did something wrong, or that you’ve hurt him somehow.
He shakes his head against yours, “Mm fine, you didn’t do anything wrong.” His voice is strained.
You sit for a second longer before you realise what had happened and it sets your face alight, “I’m sorry,” you rush out.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” He repeats, voice still strained, laced with lust.
You had grinded up into him absentmindedly, your mind dazed and looking for friction, resulting in you rutting up into him without thinking. His cock is firm and heavy against you, pulsing with need.
You go to apologise again but he puts his mouth on yours, silencing what you were going to say with a deep kiss. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead on yours again, “You did nothing wrong.” He reiterates.
Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest, you have nothing to compare it to but you have a feeling that kisses like that are hard to come by. “You’re a really good kisser.”
He looks down at you, amused by your comment, “How would you know?”
“Should I find someone else to kiss? To compare it to?” You tease him.
His gaze is firm, “No, you’re going to be my wife, the only person you will be kissing in the future… will be me.”
The words are possessive, and you think if you weren’t so delirious from his lips on yours, you would argue back against him but at the moment, you think you’re okay with never kissing anyone else, “Okay.”
He smirks at you, enjoying the look in your eyes. They’re wet and needy and he’s getting a lot of pleasure from seeing you like this, for him.
His lips are shiny from the kiss you shared and you can’t look away, wanting so badly for him to put his mouth back on yours, “Can you kiss me again?”
He doesn’t move and only looks at you, “I can.”
A few beats pass by in the quiet room, the only sound you’re able to recognise is the rapid beating of your own heart pumping blood through your head. He still doesn’t move, just watches you, you can’t tell if he’s having an internal conflict or if he’s teasing you. It’s starting to frustrate you though, and to ‘punish’ him for his inaction, the leg you have around his waist pulls him into you harder. Grinding him down into you, the feeling has you gasping, your breath stuttering in your chest.
Kuai groans at you but he also frowns, his hips dig into yours harder and pins your lower half to the bed. He gives you dark look, “Don’t.”
You don’t reply to him, your chest moving quickly with your huffed breaths. He watches you and the way you’re breathless for him, the look on your face and the warmth of your pussy through all the layers has him salivating. He is barely hanging on by a thread, his sanity shredding the longer he has his cock pressed tight against you.
His forehead drops to rest on top of yours, his lips ghosting your own, you move to press your mouth to his. A light kiss, it’s only a peck, it’s all he gives you but you want so much more, you’re hooked on his mouth, drunk on his kisses.
You almost beg him, “Kuai, please–”
He cuts you off with his mouth on yours, his lips urgent and needy, the kiss hot and heavy. Your brain buzzes, lost in the way he licks into your mouth, at the way one of his hands grab the plush skin of your thigh, his other lightly gripping your neck; holding you steady for him. He’s kissing you how he wants too, deeply and fully, taking over all your thoughts, filling your brain with only thoughts of him.
You can’t help the way you throb with need for him, your leg gripping him tighter, wanting him so much closer even though he is as close as he’s going to get. He hums into the kiss at the way you’ve started to grind into him again, your own noises shared in the kiss, small whimpers and quiet whines that he swallows down. Greedy for the small noises you’re making for him.
When he parts from you, you’re both breathless again, your shallow breaths intermingling together with your proximity. Kuai is giving off a thick heat, his skin warm to the touch, his head ducks into your neck and licks you. Ending with a small nip to your skin, he rests his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in and attempting to catch his breath.
With the way you move under him and the way your leg grips him tight to hold his lower half close, he is going to fall apart on top of you, his head full of depraved thoughts. Wanting so badly to fuck you into the mattress but holding himself back.
“Kuai,” you call to him again.
He groans into your neck, “Shh– just, I need a second.”
You’re confused by what he means, a moment for what? All you want to tell him is how badly you need him right now. “I want you,” your voice is small, as if being quieter will negate the fact that you didn’t give him the moment of silence he asked for.
His hips buck into yours involuntarily, “Fuck–”
A gasp is pulled from you at the friction, Kuai pulls his head from your neck suddenly, pulling back to look at you. His eyes are intense and you turn your head to the side so you feel less exposed to him but his hand grabs the side of your face and pulls it back so you’re looking at him again. He doesn’t move or speak; he’s just enjoying the expression on your face again.
His hips grind down into you and a small moan exits you, you’re unable to supress the sound even if you tried. Kuai’s thumb is on your chin, pulling slightly to ensure any noise you might make comes out.
He slowly grinds into you, the noises you’d rather he not hear slipping from you. You’re burning with need for him, pussy throbbing for more. His brows are pinched together, his breathing huffed, biting his lip to keep the noises that threaten to spill from him suppressed.
Your vision is blurry, tears in your waterline from how badly you want him to do more to you, your eyes pleading with him to just give you more. His hand moves from your chin and his mouth is on yours again, kissing you intensely, his mouth is hot. Everything about him is hot, his temperature so high he’s heating you up.
He rips his mouth from yours and pulls himself up completely, his hands removed from your body and resting himself up on his knees. You’re bewildered by the loss of him and whine, his eyes are on fire as he looks at you below him. Hands clenching into fists beside him, itching to touch you again, to touch your naked skin, to touch every inch of your body.
He’s taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself, “I think we should stop.”
“Why?” Your brows are drawn up at him.
He sighs, “You asked for a kiss and I delivered, we should leave it at that.”
You start pulling yourself off the mattress, weight held up on your elbows, “And if I want to ask for more?”
His eyes hold a warning for you, “Do not.”
You go to argue against him but there are loud footsteps walking to your room, ones you are all too familiar with. Your father is making his way to your room, you look to Kuai with wide eyes and he moves off the bed swiftly, adjusting himself in his pants and smoothing himself out. He’s trying to make it look like he wasn’t just dry humping you, while kissing you stupid.
Moving off the bed, you get to your feet in front of him, he smooths out your hair and clothes for you, his hand holds the side of your face for a moment and his thumb runs over your bottom lip softly. He’s caressing you gently, lost in you for a moment before your fathers loud knocks are suddenly heard on your bedroom door.
Kuai pulls away from you, coming back to himself at the sound of your fathers fist pounding on the wood. Walking around Kuai, you head to the door and open it slightly, enough to see your father but not enough for him to see Kuai further in the room, behind you.
Looking up to your father, you ask, “Yes?”
“I am looking for Kuai Liang, is he still with you?” Your fathers eyes try scanning behind you but there is nothing to see.
“No, he left a bit ago, maybe he is in the bathroom?” You offer as an alternative, trying to get him to leave and go the other way, away from your room.
He hums at you, considering you for a moment, “You know I love you right?”
“I– it doesn’t feel like it right now,” you tell him honestly, your trust in him completely shattered after today.
He looks tired, just so exhausted and like he might apologise, before his facial expression returns to its usual firm manner, “If you see Kuai Liang, let him know, I wish to speak with him.”
“Will do,” you agree hastily, hoping to end this interaction quickly.
He eyes you carefully and then eventually walks away; he seems to have so much to say but doesn’t know how to say it. It isn’t your job to force him to talk, though you might have to if you ever want to know his motivations behind all this. Whatever, it can wait until you aren’t a mess from Kuai.
Shutting the door, you turn around to see Kuai already moving for it to leave and find your father, “You’re going already?”
He pauses and turns to you, “Why?” And then leaning in close, he asks, “Would you like me to stay?” His tone is smug, expression cool and self-pleased.
You look away from him, “If I said yes?”
He sighs, hands coming up to rest on either side of your face, forehead leaning to yours, “I would like to stay.” He takes a moment, “But… I should talk with your father.” He pulls his head away from yours, still holding you in his hands.
Your face scowls at the mention of your father and Kuai’s thumb presses between your brows, massaging to release the tension. You relax your face but are still ultimately pouting at the prospect of him leaving.
He looks at you with a raised brow and you concede to him, “Alright, but try and ask him why it’s suddenly become so important I marry someone.”
“Yes ma’am,” he jokes, eyes lingering on you for a moment.
You aren’t sure why he’s looking at you so seriously but you understand when he leans in and kisses you so very gently, it’s short and only a little more than a peck but it makes your heart swell at how careful he is with you.
He hums when pulling back, “I don’t know if you have been told, but you’re expected to come back with me tomorrow.”
You’re taken aback, “I thought I had one more week?”
“I had asked for it but he changed his mind, earlier today.” He pulls back from you, giving you room to process.
You sigh deeply, feeling empty at this point, “Today has been too much, I’m not sure how to react at this point.”
“I’ll make you as comfortable as I possibly can, I want you to be happy there,” his tone is concerned, genuinely wanting you to be happy with him and with the Shirai Ryu.
You snark out, mostly joking, “I want to have, free will.”
“I will give you as much as I can manage,” he promises.
You tease, leaning towards him, “But kissing others–”
“–Is not on the table.” His tone is stern, expression unamused.
You smile at him sweetly, “I was joking, I will respect our marriage fully and completely”
“Fully and completely? And what exactly does that entail?” His expression is suggestive as he looks at you, subtly moving closer.
You feel nervous but can’t stop yourself from saying, “And if I said anything you wanted?”
“Then I would say, I’d like to test that,” His eyes are dark and lids low as he looks at you, not moving to touch you again but so obviously wanting to.
Your face grows warm under his stare, his voice has a lilt to it that sends shivers down your spine, “Didn’t you have to leave?”
He chuckles lowly at you before grabbing your hand and holding it firmly, “I want you to know… that I will be with you every step of the way and that you can talk to me… about anything.” He squeezes your hand once, in confirmation.
You squeeze his hand back and smile at him kindly, “Thank you… and you know… if you ever have anything you need to talk about, I am here to listen.”
Kuai takes several moments to look at you, and then decides he’s been holding off on leaving you for too long, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
You don’t really know what to say, you want him to stay longer but know he probably shouldn’t, “Yes, we will talk tomorrow, hopefully you will have more answers for me,” you jest, smiling up to him.
“Hopefully,” he squeezes your hand once more, assuring you that he will try to get more information. He leaves after that, going to catch up with your father.
And now, you’re left alone and wanting Kuai. You miss the weight of his body on top of yours, you’re also feeling confused about your feelings for him. He makes you feel warm and the way he kissed you has you wanting to obey his every will. But you are also confused about his feelings for you, his eyes seem so honest but he had said he had feelings for someone else just earlier today and now you aren’t sure what to make of that.
Maybe, you just need to sleep and move on from today, but currently, you are feeling better towards this marriage. Having spent some time with Kuai and spoken with him more casually, you feel better about things. Knowing he had good intentions behind his actions puts you at ease, clearly, since you just about let him hump you into submission.
It’s a little embarrassing that you were about to beg him to fuck you when you hadn’t ever been kissed before, let alone had sex but he has an effect on you that you’ve never experienced and even though you’ve known him for a while now, he’s never been this forward with you. Feeling desire for someone you consider a friend is weird right? You aren’t sure, you’ve never really desired anyone before, not like this.
There is too much swirling around your head. Ranging from, Kuai and his soft lips, his firm hands, his warm skin, his hips grinding into you, along with thoughts of his grip on your thigh, his eyes as he looked at you, his restrained manner of handling you. All your thoughts are currently of him… you need to sleep this off, before your thoughts become more depraved and you hunt him down and ask him so nicely to take you, right now.
Yeah, it’s probably a good idea to turn in for the night.
₊ ⊹
You spend said night tossing and turning in your bed, waking up every few hours just to roll over and be upset that you’ve woken up before an appropriate time, again. When you finally do fall asleep at some ungodly hour in the morning, you’re startled awake what feels like only a few moments later by knocking on your door. You groan out at whoever is there, not ready to get up, not when you had finally fallen asleep.
They don’t knock again, instead just letting themselves into your room, you peak a look and can see it’s your mother. Groaning at her again, you roll over, shuffling further into your sheets; you are not ready to start the day.
“Come on, it’s time to get up,” her tone is soft, trying to coax you out of bed with kindness.
Another groan, “I don’t want to get up, I am tired.”
She sits on the side of your bed and places a hand soothingly on your back, “You… you’re leaving today.”
“I know, Kuai told me last night,” you grumble at her, mood worsening at remembering the sudden change in plans.
Her hand rubs circles into your back, “I couldn’t change your fathers mind, I am sorry.”
It occurs to you, that your mother probably knows what has changed with your father to incur this sudden behavioural change. You shoot up in your bed and face her, “Why is he doing this?”
She hesitates, eyes sad, “He just wants the best for you.”
Your gaze scrutinises her, “There’s more, isn’t there?”
“I am telling you everything you need to know,” she replies, smiling at you sombrely before her face changes to a more enthusiastic expression, “Now, come on! time to gather your stuff.”
You flop back onto the mattress at her words, grumbling to yourself, you had forgotten that part of leaving would include… packing.
“It isn’t so bad, take your important belongings and some clothes, your father and I can bring over the rest after the marriage.” She pats your shoulder a couple times and moves around your room, looking for bags to put your stuff in.
Moving to watch her, you realise she’s trying very hard to make this easy on the both of you. Attempting to keep her expression easy and tone joyful but you can tell she is sad you are leaving home, especially so soon.
Sighing, you get up to help her, the least you can do is give her the same courtesy. You decide to offer her some words of comfort, “I will be okay you know? I like Kuai Liang, he is kind and I know some of the people in the Shirai Ryu already. I will adjust.”
She pauses what she’s doing and looks to you, “I know dear, I raised you well,” she flexes her arm at you jokingly, “Be strong and keep your head up. I know you will continue to fill me with pride,” She moves closer to you and places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing once, “You always have.”
Her words have you fighting back tears, you don’t want her to see you cry, you replace the look on your face with a strained smile, “I will do my best.”
“That’s all you ever need to do,” She pulls you into her for a hug, holding you in her embrace for a moment. You aren’t sure which one of you needs this more.
When she pulls back, she claps her hands together once and rubs them, “Alright, let’s get stuck into this.”
Rolling your eyes and supressing a smile you ask, “Where should I start, boss?”
She chuckles at you brightly and directs you on where to begin. It doesn’t take all that long to collect your most important stuff and pack it away. Anything left behind today will be picked up at a later date and even though you’ve not packed everything away, your room looks significantly more bare compared to before.
Your mother stops and looks around, “Well, I think that is about everything you will need for now.”
“Yeah I think this is good,” you smile at her.
She heads for your door, “You still have a bit of time before you have to leave, maybe have a nap, you look very tired.”
Shooting her a light-hearted glare you say, “Wow, I wonder why.”
She just smiles cheekily at you before leaving your room, presumedly going to tend to her plants, the garden may be wilting but she has a greenhouse with copious amounts of flourishing plants and flowers. The winter doesn’t stop her green thumb and it never has.
You listen to her advice though and the first thing you do when alone is get back into bed, not even making it the whole way up, just sort of flopping onto it and staying there. You’ve made yourself comfortable now, there is no way you’re getting up, not unless there’s a fire or something.
A few moments of peace is all you get before there is another knock on your door, “Are you awake?” Speaking of fire, Kuai has come to see you.
You huff face down into the mattress and mumble out, “You can come in.”
“What? I can’t hear you,” his tone is amused.
Grunting you hold your head up so your mouth isn’t pressed into the sheets, “I said, you can come in.” Your tone is exasperated as your head collapses back onto the bed.
The door opens and closes behind you and Kuai stifles a laugh at your body slumped on your mattress, not even bothering to make it to the pillows further up.
“Are you okay?” He asks tentatively, a little worried you’re going to snap at him.
Your words are mumbled again, “Mm fine.”
Kuai moves beside you and flops down too, laying on his back, “I spoke with your father last night,” that catches your attention and your head turns to the side to look at him, “Don’t get excited, he didn’t tell me anything new, just that it was important to him and that it is what’s best for you.”
You scowl at him, unimpressed with your fathers answer, “He’s starting to get on my nerves.”
“Starting?” Kuai asks playfully.
Your scowl deepens, “Whatever, leave me alone. I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
“I wonder why that is,” he says smugly, knowing it has something to do with him.
Turning back to the mattress, you hide your face from him, looking at him for too long is becoming your weakness. You can’t help it, he’s the one who looks so kissable, you might need therapy or something, these cannot be normal thoughts to have for a friend. Though, making out with a friend is also not normal? But then again, he is also your soon to be husband, this is all so frustrating.
Suddenly, you remember what you remembered last night, he’s in love with someone else but is marrying you out of kindness. He’s preventing you from marrying a stranger because of his concern for you but now you’re concerned about his happiness. But if he doesn’t like you, why did he kiss you like that? Was he just… in the mood or was he in the mood for you? GODS! men.
You must be grumbling to yourself out loud without realising because Kuai laughs beside you, amused at your internal conflict, “What are you worried about now?”
Sitting up, you tell him, “You actually,” he raises a brow at you, as if to say ‘oh?’, “You said you love someone–”
“–I never said I love someone, you did,” he interjects, also moving to sit up and face you.
You retort back, “But you implied it,” he keeps his mouth shut this time, knowing you’re right, “I am just confused? Worried? I mean… we kissed last night–”
“–I think it was a bit more than a kiss,” he interrupts again.
You look at him and don’t hesitate to say, “…Right, well that kind of adds to my point then doesn’t it?”
“And what is your point?” He’s pushing you to say what you mean.
“If you stopped interrupting me I could get there,” your eyebrow raises at him in admonishment, “I am just… I guess I’m just confused about what you’re feeling… because you love someone else… but then you…” you look away from him, “…You kissed me like that last night and I don’t know how to feel… I don’t know how you feel.” Embarrassment is seeping into every fibre of your being, feeling really exposed at being honest with him.
He intakes a deep breath, “I kissed you like that because I wanted to.”
Turning your head back, you shoot him a pointed look, telling him that what he’s offered is not enough, “Kuai–”
He stops you before you get even more annoyed at him, “–I love you.”
You’re shocked and have no idea how to react to that, “I–”
“–I kissed you like that because I love you and have for a while now,” he’s looking right at you, unashamed by his feelings, “I am not expecting you to feel the same, I am only telling you so you worry less, so you don’t think I am the type of man who kisses someone like that for no reason.” His words are filled with emotion but also stated as fact, he’s informing you of his feelings, not asking anything of you in return.
You heart stutters in your chest and you look like a deer caught in headlights, he doesn’t need you to feel the same but his sudden confession has put the weight of the world on your shoulders.
You calm your nerves to tell him how you feel, “I am not sure how I feel towards you–”
Kuai doesn’t let you finish your sentence, “–I told you; I do not need you to–”
“¬–Could you stop interrupting me?” You look at him exasperatedly, getting tired of not finishing your thoughts, “I am not sure how I feel towards you but I know that I like you… more than a friend, and I wouldn’t have let you kiss me like that if I didn’t.” Your gaze averts his, looking anywhere but his eyes.
He’s smiling to himself, “You like me?”
“I mean… obviously…” you pout slightly.
He hums at you and moves closer, pulling you to his chest by the back of your head, he holds you against him, “I can work with that.”
If he touched your face he would be able to feel the way you’re burning up, his confession and your own making you nervous and embarrassed. This is certainly not how you thought the past couple days would have unfolded but as Kuai holds you to him, you can’t help but feel okay right now.
You snuggle into him slightly, your arms wrapping around his torso to properly be held by him, “I am still feeling uncertain about the future… but right now, I think I am good,” your words are mumbled into the fabric of his shirt.
His chest rumbles under you, humming, “Whatever you are still worried about, I will be with you… every step of the way.”
Pulling your head back, you rest your chin on his chest and ask, “Promise?”
He looks down to you and without hesitation says, “Promise.”
His actions make more sense to you now and that fills you with relief, even if it also frightens you somewhat. Right now, is okay though, being held by him and being assured he’ll be with you, it makes everything okay… just for now, in this quiet moment between the two of you, everything is okay.
Raising yourself up, you push your face into his neck, feeling the urge to be closer to him, your arms also wrap around his neck. He pulls you to him by your middle, holding you firmly. You nuzzle into him, he’s warm and smells really good, he’s making you dizzy.
“You are really warm,” you breath out, words spoken into his skin. It almost feels like his temperature rises as you tell him.
His grip on you tightens momentarily, “You are torturing me.”
You don’t move from him, too comfortable and cosy to pull back, “How?”
Your breath tickles the sensitive skin on his neck and a suppressed shiver runs down his spine, a noise getting caught in his chest, he doesn’t reply to you though; choosing to ignore your question instead.
The sudden urge to cuddle further into his neck hits you but you don’t want to push his boundaries, so you start to pull away from him, mumbling out, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“That’s not what I meant,” his hands move to hold your face, stilling you so you don’t pull away from him anymore.
Your heart feels like it might beat right out of your chest, Kuai is looking you over, eyes examining your face, flitting over your lips carefully. You want him to kiss you, especially since all your thoughts have been consumed by the memory of him kissing you, how overwhelming it was, how good it felt.
His thumb strokes high over your cheek bone, hands gentle with you and so warm, adding to the heat already resting under your skin. The look in his eyes is the same as last night, the way he looked at you just before your father knocked on your door, a little lost in you. He moves towards you and you prepare yourself for his lips on yours but he moves his head to your neck, nuzzling into your skin.
You feel a little let down at the lack of his lips on yours until you gasp at the way he has latched onto your neck, not sucking hard enough to leave a mark but enough to have you reacting viscerally to him – not that it seems all that difficult for him to pull reactions from you anyways.
He moves to another patch of skin, leaving open mouthed, wet kisses on your neck, nipping every now and again just to hear the small sounds you let out and the way you twitch against him. Your hands grab at his back for leverage and your head tilts to the side giving him more access. One of his hands grips at your flesh, fingers digging into your thigh and massaging, his other hand on your back, keeping you in place for him.
A sigh passes your lips at the way his tongue licks up the length of your neck, a shiver running down your spine at the feeling. He hums in satisfaction to himself at your involuntary reactions, enjoying every second of playing with you.
He pulls your shirt to the side to reveal your shoulder, his mouth kisses along it, giving the same treatment he gave your neck. Though, his nips last a bit longer, not afraid to leave marks where he knows no one will see, his teeth graze your skin and it has a small whimper leaving you. His chest rumbles with a groan, not quite reaching the air but vibrating through him all the same.
Your quiet whimpers turn into a surprised moan when he bites your shoulder, his teeth digging in momentarily before he retreats, resting his forehead on your shoulder, “I’m sorry, I got carried away.” His voice is strained, his mind clouded with the sounds you make, the feel of your soft skin, he’s realising slowly that maybe he should stop putting himself in these situations with you. Clearly, he does not possess much self-restraint when it comes to you, especially not when you are so willing.
“Don’t apologise, I don’t mind,” your voice is shaky, both from him and from your nervousness at admitting you liked it, you liked the way he’s marked you. The dull pain of his teeth biting your sensitive skin set you alight, your pussy throbbing for him.
He groans properly this time, his skin growing hotter against you, his hand on your thigh gripping for dear life. “Don’t tell me that, not right now,” his voice is still tense, fighting every urge he has to fuck your cunt with his tongue. Fighting the urge to taste every inch of your body.
You mumble out to him, “I like the way you touch me.”
“That did the opposite of help,” he grunts out, his forehead still resting on your shoulder, too afraid to move because he knows the look on your face will make him dizzy. His thoughts only filled with depraved images of you, of all the things he’d like to do to you and seeing the wet, needy look in your eyes… will break him.
You sit quietly and let him rest up against you, his breathing evening out slowly but surely. He seems to be trying very hard to be respectful but if you’re being honest with yourself, what you want him to do to you is anything but.
Taking pity on him, you decide not to push and instead offer him a way out, “Kuai, I think we have to leave soon.” It’s not a lie, you are both due back at the Shirai Ryu.
“I know,” he says, pulling his head away from you, he shuffles back a bit too, putting some distance between the two of you, “Again, I am sorry.”
“And again, I don’t need your apology, I said I liked it and I meant it,” you’re doing your best to be confident in yourself, “Now, let’s get going or we’ll be late,” you cement, moving off the bed and to your bedroom door.
He watches you walk across the room, a bit stunned by you, turning back you look at him and raise a brow, “Are you coming?”
“I’ll be with you in a moment,” he replies, still sitting, you shrug it off and walk out the door.
You feel light-headed, the sensation of his lips and teeth still linger on your skin, you really would’ve liked to have spent a few more moments alone to see what he would do to you. He looked equal parts fucked and hungry and the thought of him taking you how he pleases sends a thrill through your bloodstream. It’s really too bad but you suppose you will have new opportunities to be intimate with him now that you will be living with him.
Kuai catches up to you eventually and you spend the little time you have left with your parents, going over last-minute things about the wedding and saying your goodbyes. You hold your mother for a long time and when it comes to your father, you would really rather not interact with him but you won’t be seeing him for a few weeks so you hug him anyways, as much as you are angry with him, you will miss him. Though, you don’t hug him nearly as long as your mother and there is an air of contempt surrounding you, directed at him.
Before you leave, you take one last walk around your house and the gardens, knowing you won’t be back for quite a bit. It’s not forever, you will visit but you’d like to commit as much of it to memory now, before you leave. Kuai joins you on your walk, keeping you company, he’s nice to walk next to, his body radiates warmth just to your left.
“You will be handy to have in the winter, I don’t handle the cold all that well,” you hum out to him.
He smiles to himself, “I will keep you warm.”
“I will hold you to that.”
When it is finally time to leave, your parents see you off and then you’re gone from your childhood home, starting a new chapter with your future husband. It’s bittersweet, mostly because while you are excited to embark upon and explore this new relationship with Kuai, you are also still feeling upset at your situation, at the choice that was ripped from you. But like your mother said, all you have to do – is your best, that is more than enough.
₊ ⊹
Being back at the Shirai Ryu is… overwhelming or maybe nerve wracking, mostly because you won’t be leaving, this is going to be your home now… Oh gods, this is going to be your home now. Your heart feels like it’s seizing in your chest and you grab for Kuai standing next to you, hand bunching into the side of his shirt.
He notices and leans down to you, “Are you okay?”
You look up to him, your eyes round, you’re panicking and you don’t know how to stop. You can’t find the words to express that, though. The only response you’re capable of is scared eyes and a shake of your head, this is all starting to feel so real.
“I have you, I’m right here,” Kuai pulls you to him, engulfing your frame in a hug, his arms holding you securely, “Everything is okay.”
The pressure of being held is helping to calm you but you’re still feeling frightened, “Okay, w–we should go…we have things to take care of,” you can’t help the slight shake in your voice.
“It can wait,” his chest vibrates under your ear as he speaks, “I’m going to keep holding you until you are ready.”
You focus on your breathing and trying to slow it, attempting to take deep breaths. With your head pressed to Kuai’s chest, you can hear his heartbeat, it is steady and calm, his breaths are deep and even and you find yourself matching them. His calmness helps to steady you, he’s such a sturdy person, you’re glad he is here.
Eventually, you come back to yourself but you don’t want to pull away from him just yet. Moving your face, you press your forehead into his chest, “Thank you,” you mumble against him.
One of his hands moves to your head and strokes the back of it, “Do you feel better?”
“Marginally,” you breathe him in, he smells nice.
He pauses in thought for a moment before enquiring, “Have you ever panicked like that before?”
You sigh against him, “Not for a very long time.”
Panic attacks are not something you are a stranger to, your memories of them very unpleasant but you had worked hard on yourself to get to where you are now. You’ve not had a panic attack this bad in a long time, not since you were younger.
“If you find yourself panicking again… look for me,” his hand tilts your head up, so your chin rests on his chest, “I will drop everything to help.”
You nod at him, confirming that you will find him, if need be.
Before you pull back, you lean up as far as you can and press a soft kiss to his cheek. When you step away and look at him, you think you see a small pink tint flushing his skin. You don’t get to look at him long though, he grabs your hand and walks you through the village properly, taking you to his home.
You’re familiar with his house, you like it, it’s homey and light, it very clearly displays that a man lives in it but it’s still nice. Kuai is a tidy person for the most part, only forgetting cups in some of the rooms he walks into, he has a bad habit of making a drink, taking it with him somewhere, placing it in that room and then walking out of said room without the drink. It’s endearing and not all that bad since he usually remembers at some point and cleans up after himself.
He leads you down the hall to his spare room, “You can stay in this room.”
Nudging his side, you say, “You don’t want to sleep next to me?” You’re joking, mostly.
“You are welcome in my bed anytime you want, dear,” he’s leaned closer to you, his voice low as he says it, suggestive in nature. Before you have time to be embarrassed and stutter out an answer, he moves back and pats the top of your head, “If you do want to sleep next to me, you are more than welcome, I promise to keep my hands to myself.” His tone has an air of humour to it.
“Thank you,” you mutter out, stepping into the room to place some of your stuff down.
Kuai also follows in, putting the rest of your bags on the floor in the corner of the room, “I know it isn’t much but I hope you will be comfortable.”
“It’s perfect, Kuai, thank you,” you’re being earnest, the room is perfect, it has everything you’ll need and that’s more than enough.
Something on the nightstand catches your attention, “Did you get that for me?”
He comes up beside you, “I did, is it okay?”
The big smile that breaks out across your face can’t be helped, “It’s more than okay, thank you,” you lean your head onto his arm, your fingers looping in between his.
He has gotten you a plant, a small but beautiful one, it sits in an ornate pot on the nightstand, right by a window. The plant is green and leafy, some kind of trailing ivy, your mother would know the genus, species, order, family, etcetera. She really is a plant genius and in a small way it has rubbed off on you, in the way that you love plants, you’re not nearly as scientific about it all.
Kuai thinking to get you a plant… it fills you with joy, he’s continuously showing you how much he cares for you and every time he does, it gives you pause, your own feelings for him buzzing under your skin. It’s only now that you recognise and understand, that these feelings are not how you are meant to feel for a friend, you hadn’t considered liking Kuai like that until you had wanted to kiss him.
Being able to recognise them doesn’t make it easier though, if anything it makes it harder, having all these feelings for him and not really understanding how to express them. It certainly doesn’t help that your situation is not exactly… orthodox.
Looking to him, you can’t help the mass amounts of affection you are feeling for him right now, “Kuai, I really do mean it… thank you.”
“It’s just a plant,” his eyebrows scrunch at you, equal parts amused and confused by your heartfelt sentiment.
Your answer is simple, “I know.”
Kuai squeezes your hand before leaving the room, giving you the chance to settle in for a moment. You unpack a couple things and put your clothes into the dresser, you don’t really want to unpack though and so, instead, you end up flopping onto the bed and star-fishing out across the mattress. It’s a nice mattress, not too shabby, nothing to write home about but it’ll get you a good night’s rest.
A little less than half an hour passes by and Kuai comes back to check on you, only to see you sprawled out on the bed, “Done unpacking, already?”
Looking to him, you complain, “It’s boring and I don’t want to do it.”
He raises a brow to you, “How much did you do?”
“Most of my clothes and a couple other things,” shrugging, you add, “What can I say? I packed light.”
He wordlessly looks down to your other bag sitting in the corner, completely untouched.
You shake a hand at him dismissively, “I’ll unpack as I use things.”
“I foresee that annoying you,” he comments.
Scowling, you bite back, “Guess what’s annoying me right now.”
He fights back a laugh and instead asks, “In that case, are you ready to see the others?”
“Come help me up,” you beckon him over with a limp hand.
He lightly rolls his eyes at you but moves to help you up all the same, one of his hands grabbing yours and pulling you to your feet.
“Why, thank you very much,” you joke, patting his shoulder as you leave the room, you can hear the exasperated sigh he lets out from down the hall and it makes you stifle a laugh.
₊ ⊹
You’re meeting Harumi, Tomas and Raiden in a small garden area, it’s not fairing any better than your mothers, everything either dead or dull. It’s cold and you really would rather be inside, you pull your sleeves down over your hands, your fingers needing the small reprieve from the cold.
When you see Tomas he immediately pulls you in for a hug, happy to see you for the first time in a while, “It has been too long, how have you been?”
“I’ve been better,” you chuckle against him.
The hug lingers for a bit and Kuai clears his throat lightly from behind you, Tomas pulls away quickly at the sound. His hand lands on your head and pats you, “It will be nice having you here,” his smile is kind.
You appreciate his compassion, “Thank you, Tomas.”
Raiden moves in for a hug next, holding you and telling you lowly, so only you hear, “If you need anything, we are here for you.”
Pulling away you give him a look to convey gratefulness but don’t say anything verbally. Kuai moves to stand closer to you, his side brushing yours at how close he chose to stand. You appreciate it, the warmth is already radiating off him and you shuffle the tiniest bit closer to him, seeking more of his warmth.
Before you have a chance to make a note of Harumi’s absence, you hear her voice calling to you all, “I am here! Sorry, I got held up.” She moves in to hug you quickly, “It’s good to see you.”
You smile politely at her, feeling uncomfortable, from the cold and also from her, Kuai may not love her but you don’t know how she feels, “It’s good to see you, too,” you echo her sentiments.
Everyone starts chatting to one another, talking about their days and such, you really would like to listen but the cold is creeping into your veins and you feel like you might start shaking soon. Kuai must notice because he leans down to you, “Cold?”
“Very,” you press out, tone strained from the chill in your bones.
Kuai’s hands grab either side of your arms and rub up and down, trying to help warm you, “I think we should head inside,” he announces, “Tomas, is your house clean?”
Tomas looks up and away to think on it for a second before Raiden intervenes, “I cleaned earlier.”
Tomas turns to Raiden to thank him, but you don’t hear the rest of their conversation, Kuai has already begun walking the pair of you in the direction of their house, wanting to get you inside as soon as possible.
“You should wear more layers,” he notes.
“Maybe I wasn’t expecting to stand out in the open,” you huff out in reply.
You make it to Tomas’ house but the others haven’t caught up to you yet, so now you’re just cold in a different area. You move from foot to foot, trying to keep moving, hoping the movement will warm you up. Kuai watches on, amused by your fidgeting.
“This is your fault,” you grumble, “Fix it.”
He looks at you with a supressed smile on his lips and a puzzled look on his face, “And how am I meant to do that?”
“I don’t know! Warm me up… give me a hug or something,” you’re being a bit dramatic but you’re really cold.
He breathes out a small laugh but does hug you, his arms wrapping around you fully, holding you close to him. He’s so warm, in his arms is so much nicer than in the cold. You nuzzle into his chest, humming in contentment, “You’re so warm, so nice,” you mutter out against him.
A hand moves from your back to the side of your face, his palm warming your cheek, “Your face is very cold, you weren’t lying about not handling the cold well.”
“I would not lie about something like that,” his palm is large against your face, you close your eyes and lean into it, savouring his heat.
You don’t see him move but you feel his lips against yours, the warmth and sudden contact makes you gasp in slight shock. His lips aren’t being demanding, he’s being tame right now. The kiss is still enough to make you dizzy though, warm and full, you think maybe he just makes you feel like that. You kiss him back earnestly, your hands tugging at his chest.
As much as you want it, he doesn’t kiss you any deeper, not willing to risk being seen by the others in such a state. He also wants to kiss you more; he wants to see the look on your face after he kisses you stupid, he just doesn’t want the others seeing it too.
When he pulls back, he says, “Your lips also looked cold.”
“Dumb,” you retort, pressing your forehead to his chest again.
You can feel his quiet laughter move through him, “Did it help?”
“…Maybe.”
You don’t wait much longer for the others, you half expected Kuai to remove you from him when they got within eyeshot of you both but he doesn’t, he lets them see how he’s holding you, how you’ve latched onto him.
Tomas asks, “Are you okay?”
“Mm fine, jus cold, lemme inside,” you grumble out at him, words muffled by Kuai’s shirt.
When the door is finally opened you’re the first inside but you are disheartened when you realise it’s still cold in here too, “Why is it so cold in here?” You whinge out.
“It is not that bad,” Raiden comments.
“You’ll warm up,” Harumi laughs lightly, patting your shoulder on her way past you to the kitchen.
Tomas apologises to you with his eyes but you turn to Kuai and point at him, “Come here.” He pretends to be apathetic towards you, stoically moving to your side, “Just stay close by, please,” you ask, giving him your best and prettiest begging look.
“Mhmm,” he agrees easily, his expression extremely self-satisfied, loving how this has all been playing out.
Your hand reaches for his, trying to be as slick as possible, not really wanting the others to make comments on it. Kuai easily grabs your hand when he realises what you’re attempting to do, not bothered by the others and only really wanting to keep you comfortable. His large hand is heated and comfortable and while it doesn’t warm your whole body instantly, it sure does help a whole lot, his closeness is making this cold bearable.
The afternoon is spent all together, drinking tea and chatting, seeing everyone is nice, it’s been a while since you’ve spent some time with them and you had missed it. Kuai makes sure to stay close the whole time, just like you had asked him to, he truly does radiate heat. You think maybe he’s raising his own temperature just to keep you comfortable; you’ll have to remember to thank him for it later.
At some point, Kuai gets up to grab you another drink, you had told him you were fine but he was already standing and walking into the kitchen. Now that he had finally detached from you, everyone focuses their attention on you. Suddenly, you’re feeling very nervous under their eyes.
Tomas breaks the quiet, seemingly voicing what they all want to say, “What’s going on between you and Kuai?”
You don’t really know how to answer that, “I am not sure what you mean.”
“Are you two actually together now?” Harumi clarifies for you.
“We know he is marrying you because of your father,” Raiden adds.
Tomas directs his attention to Raiden, “Not just that, he loves her–”
Harumi gives Tomas a look, scolding him wordlessly for outing Kuai’s feelings for you.
The cold may not be a problem anymore, not with all the heat in your cheeks. You don’t answer straight away but your lack of a reaction to what should have been a bomb drop gives away your knowledge of Kuai’s feelings for you.
Harumi points at you, grinning, “You already know.”
“What? How did you know?” Tomas asks, surprised.
Raiden’s expression is unamused and sympathetic, feeling bad for you at their prying, “You do not have to answer, it is between you and Kuai.”
Tomas agrees with Raiden, “Yes, but also…” he leans in closer to you, over the table, “Tell us.”
You change your expression to an unreadable one, completely stoic as you lean in closer, “He told me.”
When Kuai walks back into the room, your drink in hand, he sees you and Tomas leaning in closer to each other across the table, he raises a brow at the pair of you, “What happened while I was gone?”
“Nothing,” they all chime out together.
You say nothing though, silently sitting back in your chair, Kuai moves to his seat next to you, sliding your tea across the table and then looks at you, waiting for you to tell him. Glancing around the table, you can tell Tomas is silently begging you not to tell him.
You turn to Kuai and smile, thinking of a lie to cover up the reason you were leaning over the table, “I was winning a staring contest against Tomas.”
“I doubt that,” he replies quickly.
Now you’re offended, “And what do you mean by that?”
“If you are going to lie, learn to do it well,” he teases.
“I can lie well,” everyone grumbles in disagreement and you gasp in faux hurt, “I can,” you insist.
“You really can’t,” Raiden says.
You frown at him in response.
“It’s only because you do not lie often, you are confrontational…” Harumi adds, her words trailing off when she looks to Kuai and see he’s shaking his head lightly at her, informing her of her poor word choice.
“I am not confrontational,” you pout out.
Tomas tries placating you, “Of course not, you are just… direct?”
Kuai changes the topic and places a hand on your shoulder, “Anyways, if you were going to pick a lie, you should have picked a believable one, you are very bad at staring contests.”
You look at him and scowl, squinting your eyes at him in anger, “I am not going to say anything because I am not confrontational.”
Everyone at the table is immensely amused by the way this has all unfolded, wearing smiles while you sit with your arms crossed, slightly annoyed at being called confrontational… again.
“It’s not a bad thing,” Kuai insists, a hand moving to pat your head, stroking you in an offer of comfort.
Everyone at the table agrees, trying to make you feel better.
Even though you disagree that you’re confrontational, it’s nice to be amongst friends. You let go of being upset pretty easily, mostly because you weren’t all that upset in the first place, you know they were just joking around.
Both you and Kuai don’t stay much longer after that though, leaving back to his house after another hour or so passes, it was good seeing them, you hadn’t realised how isolated you had been feeling at home until you spent some time around friends. Being here might be a good thing.
₊ ⊹
The night is cold and it’s keeping you awake, the blankets you have are not enough to stop the chill from creeping in or the shivers that run through your body. You think back to earlier today when Kuai offered his bed to you but you feel hesitant to take him up on it, that would be weird right?
Another shiver shakes your body and you decide you don’t care, you are cold and he is a fucking furnace, you are getting into his bed. You move quickly, not wanting to give yourself time to change your mind and also not wanting to feel the cold for too long.
You make it to his room, your footsteps rushed and quiet, you walk up to his side of the bed. Your hand goes for his shoulder, wanting to gently wake him but before you have a chance to call his name and shake him lightly, his hand shoots out and grabs yours.
It startles you and makes you jump, “Geez, sorry–”
“–Are you okay?” He questions, sitting up quickly to check you over.
You’re still shivering, the cold so much worse without a blanket on top of you, “I–I’m fine… never mind, don’t– don’t worry about it,” your words are stuttered slightly, your teeth chattering, “Sorry for wake–waking you, I am going back to bed.”
He frowns sleepily at you, his hand still holding yours, “You’re cold,” he observes.
Another shake wracks through you and he grumbles disapprovingly at it. His hands grab you, pulling your body to his, taking you with him as he lays back in the bed, before rolling to his side. You are laying down facing each other now, his warmth already so welcome. He grabs the blanket, bringing it up around you properly and then he’s shuffling closer, an arm slinging over your side.
His heat makes you hum, “Thank you.”
He only mumbles his response, mostly sounds and not really words. You press your body as close to his as possible, your cold feet tangling with his and he grunts at it, “Why are you so cold?”
“Because it is a cold night,” you mutter out, “We do not all have magical fire powers.”
“You going to be in my bed every cold night?” His voice is thick with sleep, eyes closed.
Pressing your head to his chest, you answer, “If it bothers you, then no.”
“It does not bother me,” his response is quick.
“Kuai?” he hums at you, telling you he’s listening, “Did you make yourself warmer today? When you were next to me?”
He’s quiet for a few beats, “…Yeah, I did.”
“Thank you.”
“You thank me a lot,” he comments.
“You do a lot of things that I am grateful for, I do not know how else to express that,” you sigh, your body finally relaxing, Kuai’s heat finally removing the chill that had settled into your bones.
Kuai holds back from saying the first things that enter his mind, his sleep addled brain immediately thinking of suggestive ways you could thank him, “You don’t have to thank me for the things I choose to do for you.”
“Of course I do,” you’re resolute in your reply because of course you do, who wouldn’t thank someone for their kindness, “Are you saying, that if I were to do something out of the kindness of my heart for you, you would not thank me?”
He immediately disagrees, he would thank you for anything you did for him, “No–”
“–Then why would I not thank you?” You cut him off, already knowing you have won and made your point.
“Just go to sleep,” he grumbles.
You laugh lightly, happy with your victory.
The conversation naturally dwindles though and you find yourself slipping into unconsciousness. With Kuai keeping you warm all night; it is probably one of the most pleasant slumbers you have had in a long time.
₊ ⊹
The past week has been good, you have been a bit home sick, longing for your mothers cooking and company but you have been settling in okay. The days aren’t boring, you have the company of Tomas, Raiden and Harumi. Most often, you have been with Raiden, he seems to have more free time so you spend the day with him more than the others, he is nice company. Though he is quiet and you feel annoying when you talk too much. Sometimes, leaving the interaction wishing you had just been quiet instead.
Kuai has been good to you, he has cooked for you a bit but you have also cooked some nights. Mostly because he is not the best at cooking, you are not going to tell him that though. You’re appreciative of everything he has done to help make you comfortable, you are not about to tell him that his cooking is not good. Because it is okay, it is edible, it’s just not… yummy.
He’s been out today, you would have gone with him but it’s too cold for you, even with him by your side. Some days you can bear it but not today, no, instead you have had a hot shower, like as hot as you could make it without burning yourself. Which you love, the hot showers help with the cold so much but with the cold air, you’ve been worried about your skin drying.
It’s annoying to do but you endure the cold so you can rub moisturiser into your skin, this isn’t so bad and quite pleasant in almost any other season but standing in only a robe with panties underneath, a leg up on the bed, rubbing moisturiser into your skin, during winter… is fucking freezing and you just wanna rug up and get warm.
You don’t even hear Kuai get home, not until he’s standing in your door frame and almost choking on his spit, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” he turns around, arguably not as quick as he could, eyes lingering on your leg perched atop the bed.
“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s fine, I’m only moisturising,” you dismiss, not really all that bothered by him seeing you like this. Though, you did think there was more time until he got back, you would have closed your door if you knew he was going to be home soon.
He turns back around, now that he knows you are fine with his presence and moves across the room to you, “How was your day?”
“Mmm, it was fine… cold, I was alone for most of the day though,” your hands rub at your thigh, massaging the cream into your skin.
Kuai’s voice sounds a little distant, “You did not see Raiden today?”
You only realise why he sounds so distracted when you look to him, his gaze set on your leg, intently watching the way your hands massage at your thigh, “If you like watching so much, why don’t you do it for me,” you joke, not really meaning anything by it.
“I will,” he replies quickly, eyes flicking up to lock on yours, “If you let me.”
Your brows upturn at him, a little confused by his eagerness but it’s not like you’re having fun doing it yourself, “Okay.”
He rounds the bed, moving in front of you; your leg comes down and he lowers himself onto the mattress, tapping your thigh once he’s sat, asking you to put it back up. You do, your foot resting on the bed again, right next to him. You were not expecting this position and it feels incredibly revealing.
He grabs the moisturiser off the bed and pumps some into his hand, eyes looking to yours to check if you’re really okay, before beginning to rub it into your calf. He starts lower on your leg, fingers pressing into your muscles, moving up and down. Eventually, he drags his palms up your leg, reaching your thigh, his fingers grip and pull at the skin and muscle, his hands travelling high up, the pressure feels good.
His hands are warm, the cold not a problem anymore, not with how he’s warming you, not with how intimate this feels, you honestly were not expecting this to feel so… arousing. The higher his hands travel the more your skin heats, seemingly Kuai is having the same problem, his hands growing hotter against your skin the more he rubs the moisturiser in.
Once it’s been absorbed, he asks you for your other leg, which you give, swapping sides for him. His eyes don’t leave your lower half, very carefully watching your thighs, you remember in the back of your head how much he seemed to like gripping your thighs while kissing you.
This time it looks like he’s grabbed more moisturiser, “Kuai, that’s too much, it will take forever to rub in.”
“That’s fine,” he mumbles out.
You insist, “No seriously, my leg can only get so moisturised.”
His eyes look up to yours, “I will find somewhere else to put it,” his eyes drag down your torso with his words, the implication causing blood to rush to your face.
He starts with your calf again, the product slipping all over your skin, he really had grabbed too much. It doesn’t stop him though, his hands move up to get it on your thigh and then his hands are rubbing into your skin again, trying to get it to rub in. Even though there is a surplus of product on you, he persists, massaging you the same as before. It feels good and as he rubs into one spot on your thigh, a small, gasped whine passes your lips.
His fingers are firm as they dig into you, his hands traveling higher again, the sounds that slip from you can’t be helped. You do supress them as much as you can, mostly stopping them in your throat. Kuai pushes all the moisturiser on your calf to your thigh before tugging you to sit in his lap.
You gasp lightly, surprised, “What are you doing?”
“Too much product, going to put in on your other thigh,” he states, his hands rubbing your other thigh again.
The way you’re straddling him is even more exposing than the position you were in before, the lower half of your robe split open now, your panties completely revealed to him. Luckily, your upper half is still covered, you might have fainted if he had your tits in his face while he massaged your thighs.
Kuai is very focused on your thighs though, his hands digging into both of them at the same time, massaging your inner thighs. You’re sensitive where he’s touching, especially like this, your hands hold onto his shoulders, repressed whines getting stuck in your throat. Your thighs twitch under his hands, he moves them further up, all the way to your hips. His hands slip under either side of your panties and rub into the skin of your hips.
Most of the product is absorbed now but Kuai’s hands still travel up and down your thighs, he’s setting you on the edge, his hands exploring you have you almost shaking on top of him. You’re so aroused at this point, pussy wet and needy and he’s only been massaging you.
He still doesn’t stop touching you and you end up pulling his head back by his hair, making him look you in the eyes, “Kuai, please.”
The look in your eyes makes him groan, he hadn’t realised how much of an effect he’d been having on you, mostly touching you for his own enjoyment. He pulls you to him so that you’re sitting in his lap, you twitch and pant at the feeling of his hard cock against your covered cunt.
“Sorry,” he mutters, “Got distracted.”
“Not that, I’m really wet now,” you tell him, not caring for apologies, instead wanting him to do something about it.
He moans at your confession, his hands gripping your thighs harder, his eyes dark and lustful.
“It’s your fault,” you accuse, accurately. “Fix it.”
“And how am I meant to do that?” He smiles cockily up at you.
You decide to snark back, “Are you worried you won’t be able to make me cum?”
His smile doesn’t falter, not falling for your bait, “Yes, I am, why don’t you show me how you do it?”
“Kuai, please,” you plead with him instead, eyes begging him to do something to you, “Do whatever you want to me just– please do something.”
“Whatever I want?” He checks and you nod your head, “And what if I want to do nothing? Leave you a needy mess like this? Then what?”
“Then I will cry,” you answer and you wish that upset him but he seems to be even more pleased at that comment, “You are mean.”
“I am not, you’re just soft,” he retorts.
You grind your hips down into his lap, your pussy rutting against his cock, he chokes on a sudden moan and grips your hips, stopping you from moving.
“Now who is mean?” He asks, voice strained.
“Still you,” it’s grumbled out with annoyance, you’re becoming sexually frustrated.
You decide to try and be meaner, one of your hands leaving his shoulder and dipping into your panties, running through your folds, when you hit your clit you moan and twitch atop of him. His eyes are watching you, small groans vibrating in his chest.
You pull your hand away from your pussy, showing him just how wet you are, fingers coated in your slick. His immediate response is to grab your hand and shove your fingers into his mouth, licking them clean, his mouth hot. You whine at him, he’s officially back to being meaner than you. You feel like a big mess, wet, sticky, needy– downright desperate for him.
He removes your fingers from his mouth, tongue licking at them a final time before pulling away, “That was mean,” he blames.
“Please, Kuai, I will take anything– just make me cum,” you’re back to begging.
He smiles evilly at you, “No.”
“Why not?” Your eyes actually well with tears, threatening to spill.
He holds the side of your face and coos, “Because having you wet and needy on top of me, is really doing it for me.”
“You are evil,” you pout at him.
“You seem to like it,” he’s still smiling at you, like he’s got you in the palm of his hand… and at the moment he does, if he’ll promise to get you off, you’d do just about anything.
He pulls your face to his, lips locking with yours, kissing you deeply. His tongue licking into your mouth, his warmth overwhelming you. His hand on your thigh digs in, holding you firmly. You moan into the kiss, your hips trying to grind down into him again, succeeding marginally. He gasps against you and lets you rut down. Enjoying the friction himself, just as aroused as you are, just better at hiding it. His cock twitches in his pants and you whine into the kiss, wanting so badly to be filled by him.
He pulls away from you, something occurring to him, “Has anyone ever made you cum?”
You’re panting against him, “I hadn’t even been kissed Kuai, take a guess.”
A large smile breaks out across his face, ecstatic at the fact that he’ll be the first person to make you cum, “Mmm, I will make you cum then.”
You perk up, “Really?”
“Yeah, I’ll have you cumming in your little panties for me,” he says it easily but the words embarrass you just as much as they arouse you.
His hands grip either side of your hips and begin dragging you up and down his covered cock, the head of it catching on your clit and making you keel over, your head landing in the crook of his neck, hands holding his shoulders.
Your hips help, moving back and forth with his pace, the friction delicious, it has you salivating for him. He’s gasping out groans under you, enjoying this just as much as you are. He moves his hands to your thighs, spreading you wider on him. His grip stays on your thighs, obsessed with them, with their softness.
You press a light and wet kiss to the skin on his neck, the feeling sends a shiver down his spine, his cock jumping against your cunt. His hands are hot against your thighs, the heat radiating off him suffocating. You muffle your moans into his neck, embarrassed by how whingey and desperate you sound.
Your panties are completely ruined, so slick they’re stuck to your cunt and slipping against the fabric of Kuai’s pants. He pauses for a moment and you whine against him, he shushes you in response. He only stopped to pull his pants down, still in his boxers but wanting less layers between you.
When your pussy comes back into contact with his covered cock, he groans out loudly, mind drifting far from him, if he thinks too hard about how wet you are or how desperate you are for him, he might end up fucking you stupid tonight.
He begins grinding you down into him again, losing his mind at the new feeling, of how much better it feels without his pants on. Without the extra layer, his cockhead catches on your pussy hole through your panties and he groans like he’s been gut punched. You wiggle down on him, seeking penetration that won’t happen, not with all the layers.
You sob into his skin, so horny and wet, you’re drooling onto his shoulder and neck, saliva coating his skin. He keeps rutting you down on top of him, desperate to have you cumming for him. His mind only filled with how you must sound when you finish, how you’ll sound moaning his name.
You can’t think of anything, only thinking of his cock rubbing through your folds and catching on your clit. Every other thought you might have, dying before you are aware of it. You’re shaking against him, getting close to your end, your stomach tensing, cunt fluttering around nothing. Your whines breaking off into nothing, choking on all the sounds you want to make for him.
Kuai notices, “So close aren’t you? Fuc–”
He gets cut off by you biting him, your teeth digging into the skin on his shoulder, you’ve bit him as you cum, his words pushing you over the edge. Your first, thoughtless response being to latch onto him, a way to try and ground yourself. His cock spasms at the feeling, his own orgasm rocking through him, his nails bite into your skin, holding you to him firmly as you both finish at the same time.
He groans loudly, his orgasm shocking him, not expecting to cum so suddenly. You’re limp against him, your teeth no longer imbedded into his shoulder. You pant and shudder against him, aftershocks wracking through your body. He pulls you back, only because he needs to see the look on your face and when he does, he smiles brilliantly at you, overjoyed by your expression.
Your eyes are all gooey, cheeks tear stained, you look like an absolute mess for him and he thinks if he hadn’t just cum, he could cum just from seeing you like this. He tucks you back into his shoulder and holds you to him, letting you regain your strength before trying to move either of you.
You feel dizzy and lost, “It’s never felt that good before.”
“Mmm just you wait,” he retorts humorously.
You still twitch against him slightly but you pull yourself back and press a full kiss to his lips, your tongue licks into his mouth, his hand grabs at your face, letting you kiss him how you please, a moan passing from him to you. You pull back from him properly, sitting in his lap looking at him, feeling a little bashful now.
“What was that for?” He asks, eyes glassy.
You smile sweetly at him and say, “That was a thank you.”
He smiles affectionately at you, his eyes dopey and in love, “You should always thank me like that.”
You bop him on the nose with a finger, “Okay.” Apparently, an orgasm makes you agreeable and happy.
He shakes his head at you in amusement before asking, “Have you eaten yet?”
“Nope, waited for you.”
“Let’s eat then,” he says, picking you up as he stands.
You squeal at him as he carries you down the hall like that, you’re stuck to him, clinging on for dear life, scared you’ll fall but also trusting that he won’t drop you. The whole house is filled with your shared laughter.
₊ ⊹
The next couple weeks are more of the same, you spend a lot of time in Kuai’s bed, seeking his warmth most nights but nothing happened between the two of you. He seemed to be trying to control himself better around you, it would have bugged you but things had honestly been busy. With the wedding approaching fast, you had other things to worry about and your anxieties started peaking their ugly heads again.
And now that the day is here, you feel wracked with nerves the whole time, it hadn’t been so bad… not in the beginning. There were a few hiccups, like the awkwardness between yourself and your father, you’re still holding resentment against him, especially since his motivations remain unknown to you.
Your father had seemed… sombre, when no one was looking there was a sadness looming around him, you aren’t sure what exactly could be the reason for it and you would ask but he wouldn’t tell you either way. He’d only say that it is rude to ask someone why they look run down.
There was one point in the day that you tried talking to him but he had only brushed you off, giving you shallow pleasantries and congratulations. It hurt, to be pushed aside when you had concerns for him, you think the least he could have done was entertain a polite conversation with you but he was not at all interested in talking with you, not in the way you needed him to.
You had also tried asking your mother about your father but like you predicted, she gave away nothing. Instead, she focused on you, how you were feeling and settling, how you were going with Kuai. It was nice to see her, to talk with her properly, you have been missing her company. You also tried a few more times to get her to tell you what was wrong but she’s a tough nut to crack and she continued to assure you nothing was wrong, maybe you are looking too hard for things that aren’t there.
Kuai had been with you most of the day, trying to stay by your side and make sure you felt okay but he had people coming to talk to him a lot, he eventually got pulled away from you, not too long ago actually. Now, he’s probably stuck in a conversation somewhere; one you do not care to stick around for.
This whole day has been uncomfortable and you’re nervous, the future in front of you now and you have no idea what happens after. What changes now? You are aware nothing has actually changed, only the legality of your betrothal to Kuai but things still feel scary, everything feels scary and you feel small. It feels like you may be having a panic attack again.
You scan the crowd for Kuai but fail to find him and instead rush to find a quiet place you can hide for a moment, somewhere you can calm your thoughts and focus on your breathing. It doesn’t help though, now you’re alone with your thoughts, the quiet a welcome change from the overstimulation of being around people but not helping in slowing your thoughts.
All your anxieties are still there, just somehow louder without all the other noises happening around you. You start hyperventilating, now freaking out about not being able to calm down. And you’re frustrated, you have enjoyed your time here for the past month, you feel less isolated, you feel cared for, Kuai makes you feel cared for but you are not coping with the change well, you are not coping with your fathers betrayal well. You are not coping well, not right now. Right now, it feels like the world is caving in around you.
Tears are streaming down your face and you wish they would stop, it will mess with the makeup you’re wearing and then people will have questions, oh gods, what if they have already noticed your absence? What if people are looking for you, what if someone finds you here like this, all sad and pitiful… you might die on the spot, from mortification.
Footsteps can be heard nearby, getting closer to you, it has you holding your breath and standing stock still, hoping the bushes and pillar will be enough to hide you from whoever is in the area. They keep approaching though, their steps seem rushed, like they’re looking for someone, great, they’re probably looking for you.
Kuai rounds the pillar and sees you, he rushes out a sigh of relief, happy to have found you, “I have been looking all over for you, are you okay?” His hands cradle your face and his thumbs gently rub the tears off your cheeks, attempting to fix your makeup.
“I couldn’t find you, I did look,” your voice is shaky, threatening to cry again.
Truthfully, you feel relieved to see him too, his presence immediately bringing you a kind of comfort you hadn’t realised was gone until he was back beside you. You had been leaning on him all day to help keep you together more than you thought, you knew he helped make all of this easier but you hadn’t realised just how much him being near helped you.
“Come here,” he pulls you to him, holding you in a hug, keeping you safe, “Do you want to talk about it?”
You don’t really but you’ll try your best to tell him anyways, “I got scared, nothing changed but it also feels like everything has changed. I am worried about my relationship with my father, I feel betrayed by him… and I guess… I have not been coping as well as I thought I had been.”
“You have been doing remarkably well, considering the circumstances,” his hands rub your back, “You have been doing your best, you have been adjusting as well as anyone can, I am in awe of your resilience, dear.”
You sniffle out, “I worry that I am becoming a burden to you, Kuai.”
“You could never burden me,” he leans down and presses a small kiss high on your cheekbone, when he pulls back he looks you in the eyes, his gaze intense and sincere, “I love you.”
The reminder of his open love for you takes your breath away, he does not repeat it often, only when he thinks you have forgotten it. Only when he thinks you need to hear him say it, he needs you to know how highly he thinks of you, how beautiful you are to him, how amazing you have been throughout all of this.
You never know how to reply to him, saying thank you feels dumb, so you kiss him. Leaning up to him, you press your lips to his gingerly, careful and tentative as you do. You hadn’t kissed during your ceremony, it’s not tradition but in the quiet area you have found, where it is just the two of you, you share a soft kiss, one filled with your appreciation for him and his love. Parting is harder than it should be, every time you kiss him, you hope it will last just a little bit longer.
“You are my husband now,” you comment.
He smiles softly at you, “That I am.”
You both head back to where everyone else is, once you’ve calmed down, he stays with you the whole time and offers you reassuring words. You would have loved nothing more than to go home and be done with the day but you soldier on and get through it.
It is uneventful, more of the same but this time Kuai makes sure to stay close by you, a part of him touching you the whole time. His hand always on you somewhere, whether it be on your back, shoulder, hand, knee, he’s there and he’s making sure you remember it.
Ultimately, he is what gets you through today and you are so grateful to him.
₊ ⊹
After everyone leaves, you’re back at his house… well your house too, it feels a little weird to say though, especially since you feel like you don’t contribute much. His house has been feeling more homely but you can’t tell if that’s his house or him, you think you may just be feeling at home with him.
You shower first, needing to get out of everything and into something comfortable, when you’re finished, you head to Kuai’s room. His door is open and he’s lying on his bed waiting for the shower to be free.
“I am done,” you walk to his side and his hand grabs yours, squeezing once.
He hums at you, “Thank you,” his form moves off the bed, his body brushing up against yours as he slips by you to head in the direction of the shower.
You’re feeling a little odd, you could just go to bed, or even get into his bed and sleep off today but you know people usually celebrate their marriage. It may not be a ‘traditional’ marriage but you would like to sleep with him, he sets your skin on fire, he fills your head with dirty thoughts and… well, you don’t really have any good excuse… he makes you horny and you want him to fuck you.
Sighing, you crawl onto his bed and into the spot he was just in, it’s still warm and cosy. You sit and think about things as you wait for him to come back but all you’re really thinking about is how much you’d like to be filled with him, how hot his skin must get, how vocal he may be. No matter how hard you try to think of something else, your mind wonders back to him and his toned body under you, or above you. Your thighs subtly rub together, seeking friction.
When Kuai come back into the room, he’s wearing his pants low on his hips, he’s shirtless, chest bare and still has some water trailing his abs, his hair down and damp, you can’t help the way you stare at him. You try, you try really hard not to make it obvious but by the way he raises a brow at you, you know you’ve been caught red handed.
You speak before he has the chance to be mean, “Aren’t you cold?”
He hides his smile at your question, “I run hot,” he notes, obviously.
You feel silly, “Right…”
“Was today okay?” He sits down facing you, a hand landing on your knee.
You’re actively having to fight off the shiver that wants to shake your whole body, “It was fine, with you beside me.”
He hums at you in acknowledgement, his hand gripping your knee once before pulling away.
Telling him you want to sleep with him is hard, you haven’t actually tried saying anything yet but he picks up that something is bothering you.
“Did you have something you want to ask me?” He raises his brows to you, encouraging you to ask what you want to.
Biting the bullet, you decide to be direct, “Don’t we… have to consummate our union… or whatever?” You feel very awkward and you’re having a hard time looking him in the eyes.
“We don’t have to,” he replies.
You feel dejected, like he has outright rejected the idea of sleeping with you, “You don’t want to?”
He’s quick to answer, “I want to,” he looks at you, eyes dark, “You know I want to.” His gaze looks like there is a fire raging inside, feelings for you burning just under the surface, “But only if you want to.”
“I want to,” you’re fiddling with your own hands, nervous, “It’s just that, it’d be my first time.”
“Maybe we should wait,” he offers.
“For what?” your brows upturn at him, “I want it.”
He closes his eyes to think for a second, trying to be respectful even though you’re in his bed, asking him to fuck you, on your wedding night. His focus is on trying to keep enough blood in his head so he can think. Not realising that you’ve shuffled closer to him, not until your hand reaches for his wrist and shoves his hand down your panties. You’re resting on your knees for him, legs spread just enough for his fingers to slip through your pussy lips.
He groans, like he’s been punched in the stomach, “That’s just not fair.”
“Trying to show you I want it,” you mutter out, bashful.
He’s weak, how could he resist you when you’ve pushed his fingers to your cunt, your very wet cunt. He drags the tips of his fingers through your folds, spreading your slick all over yourself, you gasp in response and grab onto his shoulder, his skin hot under your hand.
He focuses on where his hand is under your panties, wishing you weren’t wearing any, “I can tell you want it; I still have reservations.”
“Is it because– hah–” you’re cut off by his fingers carefully circling your clit, your nails lightly dig into his skin, “–is it because –mmph– I’m a virgin?” You gasp out, wanting to understand his hesitation.
“Partially,” he hums, his other hand moves to grip your thigh, trying to stop your twitching, “Also because I like your neediness for me, wonder how far I could push you.”
You frown at him, thighs trembling at the stimulation he’s providing, “That would be cruel–”
“–It would be, yes.” He cuts you off only to agree. He looks to your eyes, they’re blown out and glazed and as much as he enjoys taunting you, he would also enjoy getting his dick wet.
You can’t help the way your pussy flutters at his words, you wish you didn’t enjoy how mean he seems to be when it comes to the bedroom. He’s so very often gentle with you and the change in attitude when it comes to this topic affects you in a way you can’t really explain. He knows though, especially since your cunt got so much slicker at his teasing.
He pulls his hand away from you and you whine at him, “I am not going to fuck you–”
“Why–”
He shoves his fingers covered in your wetness into your mouth, effectively getting you to shut up, “Because…” his eyes are set on how your lips wrap around his fingers, on the way your tongue slips between them, licking him clean, “…I said so.” He doesn’t offer anymore explanation.
He pulls his fingers from your mouth slowly, enjoying the view of your lips around them. Once he’s able, he pulls you to him by the back of your neck, his lips harshly meeting with yours. His tongue licks into your mouth, tasting you, he’s fervent, insistent. Mouth hot and the kiss wet, you can only let him kiss you how he pleases and whine into him, he’s overwhelming you and not giving you much of a chance to do anything else.
His hands push at your robe, wanting you to take it off, it slips from your shoulders and pools around your waist. His lips don’t part from yours but his hands move to grab at you, palming your breasts, massaging at you. His fingers pinch at your nipples, rolling them, you break the kiss, moaning louder than you were expecting to.
The sound embarrasses you and your hand moves off his shoulder to cover your mouth, Kuai grunts in disapproval but continues playing with your tits, focus solely on them. You gasp and whine from beneath your palm, your body jerking in response to him. You press your chest forward into his hands more, his eyes are dark and glazed, lost in how big his hands look on your tits.
You pull your hand away, enough to pant out, “Kuai –hah– I can’t– please, I need more.”
“Wants and needs are not the same thing,” his voice is low and gravelly, eyes still on your tits.
You push his hands away from you and stand up on wobbly legs, your robe falls to the floor properly and you push your panties down your legs, kicking them off your feet. Kuai is in awe of you, eyes trailing every inch of your body.
“I know that, and I meant what I said,” you huff at him, you passed want a while ago, you need him now. His hands grab for you but you step away, staying just out of reach, “I need you, please.”
He nods at you quickly, “Mhm whatever you want, just come here.”
You move within arm’s reach of him again and he pulls you down to the mattress, your head lands on the pillows and you laugh in shock. He leans down over you and presses his lips to yours, kissing you quickly. And then he gets off the bed to pull his pants down, freeing his hard cock. He’s large and thick and you think that taking him is going to be… a challenge for sure.
You must look concerned by his size because he says, “Calm down, I meant it when I said I wasn’t fucking you.”
You grumble at him, “I could take it.”
He chuckles, “I am sure you could, not tonight though.”
You’re confused as to what’s happening, “Then what are we doing?”
He crawls back onto the bed, over top of you, and nuzzles his face into the side of yours. His lips press light kisses to your skin before pulling back to look at you smugly. “There are other ways to get off,” he states, matter-of-factly.
“But I want to be…” you trail off before mumbling out, “…full.”
His head drops to your shoulder, and he grumbles lowly about how you’re trying to kill him, or how you’re really testing his patience. Taking a deep breath, he looks back to you and says, “Roll over, onto your side.”
“What? No please?” You joke.
He squints at you and then just flips you onto your side himself, he tucks in behind you, essentially spooning you. His hard body presses into your back, he holds one of his hands out to you, “Spit.”
You do as you’re told without thinking twice, immediately spitting into his palm. He sighs quietly and takes his hand away from you, soft clicking sounds can be heard behind you and Kuai groans out, his head landing on your shoulder. He fists at his cock for a bit, getting it slick for you.
“Keep your thighs closed,” he directs, deep voice by your ear.
His cock slips between your thighs, spreading your pussy lips open on his thick length. You gasp at the feeling of his dick running along your cunt, the head lightly grazing your clit as he slips against you. He moans into your shoulder at the warmth of your pussy, his cock jerking at how wet you are for him.
He breathes in as he pulls back, his dick slick with you. He pushes in between your thighs and you gasp out a whine at how his tip hits your clit. Kuai starts a steady pace, thrusting backwards and forwards, his dick sliding against your pussy. Looking down, you watch the way the head of his cock pokes out between your thighs, you clamp them together as much as you can and Kuai’s hips stutter, a moan pulled from his chest.
You’re leaking against him, his dick sliding easily through your folds, his breath sputters at the plushness of your thighs, at the slick of your creamy cunt. The tip of his cock oozes thick globs of precum, his arousal driving him insane. His hand grips onto your hip, holding you still and needing to ground himself.
Your hips move with him, your need for him heightening. He’s so hard and pressed right against you, it would be so easy for him to change his mind and push inside. Moans and whines spill from you freely, your hand reaches back and tangles into his hair. Kuai presses his head to your shoulder, his pants and moans right next to your ear.
“Kuai –hah– can’t you just –nngh– put it in,” your eyes burn, like the pleasure might make you cry.
He groans into your neck, “No –nngh– I couldn’t –hah–”
He is right, with how big he is and the fact you’ve not had sex before, there is no ‘just’ putting it in. But even though he’s right, your horny brain doesn’t care, “Please~”
“No,” he bites back, “Now stop asking or I’ll stop.”
You whinge at him and even though you want to keep protesting, you think better of it, knowing he definitely would hold off on his own pleasure just to torture you further. Kuai mouths at the side of your neck, getting carried away and sucking at your skin, no doubt leaving behind some dark marks.
He’s getting lost in feeling of your wet cunt and soft thighs, “You’ve got such –hah– soffft skin –fuck– pussy is fucking dripping –nngh– for me.”
His slightly slurred and growled out words drive you mental, moans getting stuck in your chest from how you try to stuff them down. You rock your hips back against him, desperation clawing up your spine.
Kuai’s hand pins your hip to the bed, holding you down, wanting you to stay steady so he can fuck through your thighs how he pleases, “Be good and stay –hah– still.”
Your cunt jumps against him, you’re throbbing for him, your thighs slick and a complete mess, both from his precum and your arousal. You’re frustrated from the lack of fullness, your pussy begging for his cock.
“Kuai~ please –hah–” you let yourself trail off, remembering his threat.
His thrusts speed up, the glide easy, meeting no resistance with the complete mess made of your lower half. You can feel the growls in Kuai’s chest and hear the gasping noises he’s making against your skin, his tongue licks at your neck before he whispers to you.
His voice is low and grumbly, broken only by gasped moans, “Bet you have the tightest little cunt –nghh– probably have me cumming just from filling you –hah–”
You tug at his hair and he moans into your ear the sound has your pussy quivering for him, all the sounds he makes sets you on fire. His hot skin holds you close to him, making you feel faint. And then his mouth is back on your skin, leaving behind more marks.
The sounds you try to stuff down drive him crazy, you’re trying so hard to be quiet but can’t help but make noises and it’s not only boosting his ego, it’s making his cock throb for you. He has half a mind to cave and fuck you open on his cock right now.
Kuai’s cognizance is far from him, his thoughts only focused on your slick cunt and thighs on his cock. He slurs out to you, “You’re such a –hah– pretty little thing –mmph– my pretty little thing –nghh– my pretty little wife.”
You gasp and twitch against him, hearing him refer to you as his wife has your head buzzing, something primal in you loving being referred to as such. Your stomach fills with butterflies, his words doing things to you that you don’t really have the wherewithal to understand right now.
You’re getting close to finishing, your pussy twitches and your stomach clenches, your hand in his hair holding on tighter. He groans into your neck, his own end sneaking up on him. He’s losing his mind at everything, everything about how he’s fucking your thighs right now has him going crazy.
His dick spasms between your legs and his teeth bite into your neck, the feeling a shock, it runs down your spine to your cunt. The blunt pain pushes you off the edge and you cum on Kuai’s cock, choked moans pulling from your chest. You gasp and whine, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes. Your mind is gone as you cum on him, the only thing slightly grounding you is the feeling of Kuai’s hot skin and his tongue as he licks at the bite mark he left behind.
The way you jolt against Kuai and how your thighs seem to clamp tighter have his own orgasm slipping from him. His cum landing on your thighs and his bed. He groans loudly into your skin as he cums and he finds himself wishing so badly that he had cum inside you. He nips at your skin some more as he comes down, enjoying the way you jerk against him as he does.
The hand he had on your hip wanders over your body now that he doesn’t have to hold you down, he pulls at the skin on your thighs, at your tits, and when he reaches your face he wipes the drool away from the corner of your mouth.
He checks you over, “You with me?” You hum out to him in confirmation, and he adds, “Good, cause I’m not done with you.”
His words send a thrill through you, what else could he possibly do to you?
He pulls his cock from between your thighs carefully and then pulls you to lay on your back, he positions himself over you. You’re so pliable now that you’ve cum, letting him manoeuvre you however he pleases. His hands push your thighs open and he’s breathless at the sight, you’re a mess, slick and cum coating your thighs and cunt. He groans out at it, his mouth pooling with saliva, he wants to put his mouth on you so bad.
His fingers drag along your skin, collect what cum he had gotten on you, and then his fingers are pressing through your folds. He’s playing with your pussy, coating it in his cum. A single finger prods at your entrance and slowly slides inside. The grip you have on his single finger almost has him going feral, the fact you wanted him to fill you with no preparation makes him nearly laugh.
You gasp at how his finger has pushed into you, not expecting it but enjoying it, finally having something inside. He gently moves it in and out, slowly fucking you, your thighs try to close at the stimulation but Kuai body between your legs stops them from getting too far. His free hand moves to your thigh and holds you open, his gaze greedy for how open you are for him right now.
He can’t stop thinking about how you would feel split open on his cock, how you would leak around him, how tight you must be and how fucked full he’d make you feel. His skin is buzzing, his cock hard for you again. His finger retreats and you whine at him, the sound you make has his heart racing, you sound so fucked out and cute.
“You make such cute little noises,” he hums out to you.
“Why–”
He shushes you, “Just lay there and let me play with you.”
Gods, he’s going to kill you, your cunt jumps at his words and your stomach twists in knots. The things he has been saying tonight have you gnawing at the bit, wanting him to stop because it’s embarrassing and also never wanting him to shut up because it’s arousing you.
Kuai’s finger collects more of the cum he left on you and then he pushes it inside your cunt, he’s finger fucking his cum inside you and it’s going to make you faint. His finger crooks up inside you and your hands move to cover your mouth, loud moans threatening to rip from you.
Kuai only smiles at your reaction and hums, “Can try and be as quiet as you want, won’t work.”
Your pussy clenches down on him at the sound of his voice and his smile grows larger, he’s enjoying watching your reactions to him, loving the control he has as he fingers you. His pace has been steady and consistent but with his own need to see you cum clawing up his spine his hand speeds up, fucking you faster and harder, his head filling with images of you cumming for him.
He’s thinking about how tight your little cunt will grip him as you finish and how you would feel cumming on his cock. His eyes are glazed and blown, fucked out and he’s not even fucked you. You’re gasping underneath your hands, eyes rolling to the back of your head and spilling tears. The sight has Kuai enamoured, relishing in the way you’re crying over his single finger.
He crooks his finger up to hit a specific spot inside you continuously and it has you cumming with a suppressed shout. Kuai was right, you grip him tight as your cunt spasms around him, your body twitches and your thighs quiver.
As he pulls his finger from you, all your slick and the cum he pushed inside oozes from your convulsing pussy hole. He tuts at you in mock disapproval, you’re not really sure what he’s referring to though, you’re still panting, trying to catch your breath after your second orgasm.
When you’ve regained some of your faculties, you look to Kuai and see the absolutely fucked out look on his face. His eyes glassy and wet, focused on your pussy, his cock fully erect again. He doesn’t look all there at all, like his thoughts are a million miles away from him.
“My pretty little wife has made a mess all on my sheets,” his words are slurred together, “gonna have to clean it up,” his hands run along the insides of your thighs, “You gonna let me clean it up?” He finally looks to you, his eyes bordering on feral.
You nod shakily at him, words failing you right now.
At your approval he’s immediately shuffling between your legs, you don’t know what you were expecting but you’re shocked when he gets on his stomach and pushes your legs open as wide as they will go before licking up the whole length of your pussy. Your stomach jumps in delight and shock, your hand moves back to your mouth to cover the moan that he pulls from you.
He’s lapping at you like a starved animal, not really cleaning any mess but more… making an entirely new one. Your head is up in the clouds, not able to focus on anything but how it feels to have his tongue lick at your pussy. His mouth then suddenly latches onto you, his tongue entering your hole and drinking down all of your cum.
His face presses as close to your pussy as he can possibly get, his nose up against your clit makes you clench down on his tongue and a loud groan rumbles from deep in his chest. The vibrations of the noise he makes has you crying out, your hand doing little to stop it. Kuai’s hands hold onto your thighs, gripping them tighter at the sound you make.
You’re practically panting for him, your hips rise and fall, attempting to ride his face. He holds you down, his mouth fervent on you, hot and wet. The noises that fill the room are embarrassing and obscene. Lewd, wet noises of your cunt and his mouth enter your head and you twitch in response, your skin heating at the realisation that it’s your pussy making those noises.
Your hand is getting damp from how you drool at Kuai’s tongue in your pussy, eventually you can’t take it and need something to grip onto. Your hand moves from your mouth and tangles in his hair, the other gripping at the pillows above you. The moans and whines he pulls from you are falling freely now, unobstructed and just as embarrassing to you as your messy cunt.
When you tug on his hair accidentally, he groans into your pussy, his tongue moving more desperately. Kuai’s hips rut into the mattress below, not able to stop himself from seeking friction. His head fully invaded by you and your cunt. He’s almost whining into your pussy, obsessed with how fucking slick you are, how you seem to just keep getting slicker.
His nails bite into the skin on your thighs where he’s holding you open; you’re shaking like a leaf for him. Your whole-body trembles with how sensitive you are and he’s happily tongue fucking you through it. He doesn’t stop making small noises of pleasure as he licks into you, his hips still rutting down into the bed.
Your whines hit a higher pitch, your hands grabbing and letting go before grabbing again, your orgasm is on the tip of your tongue, or on the tip of Kuai’s tongue and it feels like too much. Your limbs want to flail but Kuai is holding your legs still, not at all deterred from getting you to finish.
“Kuai~ It’s –hah– too –mmph– much,” you cry out to him.
You don’t know if he chooses to not acknowledge you or if he’s so far gone that he doesn’t notice, but he continues tongue fucking you into the next dimension. The relentlessness has you crying now, tears falling freely at the overstimulation. You’re shaking so much and it truly feels like you need to run away from the feelings you’re being given. But even if you try to wiggle away, it doesn’t work, Kuai uses barely any of his strength to hold you still. He grunts into your cunt in disproval, the most communication he’s given since he first put his mouth on you.
A gasped whine is let out as you cum, your pussy spasms around Kuai’s tongue and he moans out at it, nearly whining into you again. His tongue fucks you through it and his nose presses to your clit, he shakes his head lightly to encourage the stimulation. He drinks down your cum while groaning, enjoying himself immensely, ecstatic that he’s finally gotten to shove his tongue inside you.
He pulls back from you, not wanting to overstimulate you more than he already has. You don’t even feel conscious anymore, vision dark and unfocused. The thing that brings you back to your body is Kuai biting at your inner thighs, he’s leaving marks on you, teeth biting in hard enough that an impression of his teeth will be left behind for a while. You let him do it, not really present enough to move anyways and even if you were, you like the marks he’s left behind, you like how possessive he seems to be in bed. It screams to that primal part of your brain.
Kuai pulls back to look at you and the marks he’s left on your thighs, he smiles to himself, full of pride. His hands gently smooth over your thighs before he moves up the bed to lay next to you, he pulls you to your side and hold you to him. You close your eyes, your body soft and pliable, like a ragdoll.
“Are you still with me?” He asks.
Without opening your eyes, you retort, “Are you?”
He chuckles at you but is also sheepish, “Yeah, sorry… I got carried away.”
“Don’t apologise, I liked it,” you mumble out to him, “a lot.”
He presses a kiss to your forehead, “Good.”
You remember that he was hard again and open your eyes to look at him, “Do you need me to… are… do you need help?” You have a hard time phrasing your question.
He looks away from you, his cheeks a light pink, “I am fine…”
You object, “But you didn’t–”
“–I did.”
Your eyes widen in understanding and then you feel incredibly hot in the face, “Oh.”
He hums at you and changes the topic, “Are you satisfied?”
“For now,” you smile cheekily at him.
He leans down to you and presses a soft kiss to your lips, “I think… you might be trying to kill me.”
“I think it’s the other way around,” you raise a brow to him.
“Mhmm,” he dismisses before leaning in to kiss you again.
His lips are gentle and he’s being tender with you, kissing you sweetly after making you cum for him three times. His warm hand skates along your skin, the action raises your skin and you press closer to him, seeking his warmth.
He parts from you and pulls the blanket over the two of you, your hand tangles in his hair again, this time brushing it with your fingers, playing with it mindlessly. You end up scratching at his scalp lightly and he melts for you, enjoying the feeling. You play with his hair for a while but everything is heavy, including your eyelids.
You pull your hand from his hair and instead wrap it around him, tugging him close, he tickles your back as you fall in and out of sleep, you aren’t sure how long he stays awake for but wrapped in his arms, warm and content, you drift to sleep not too long after he presses a small, final kiss to your lips.
₊ ⊹
A/N: Thank you for reading the whole thing, holy cow !! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope it fulfilled everyone’s expectations. As always my inbox is open for questions, thoughts and feelings, don’t hesitate to slide in. I hope everyone has a beautiful day/night and I will now be preparing to write just friends part 2 !! <33
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lazycats-stuff · 1 month
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What about Batfam x male reader where the reader was actually the first child Bruce adopted and he was the practice child. He hated growing io because Bruce had really no idea what to do and then the other kids came along and now Bruce kinda understood what to do. He hates family time because he never felt like family, he was just some doll the others could practice on so later they wouldn't make mistakes. And i imagine at some point they snap. I feel like what if Damian brought over Jon for dinner and Jon was like "oh I thought Dick's the oldest, you never told me about (reader)" and reader just slams down their fist and goes to their room. At this point the rest of the family try to comfort them but the reader only screams about how they never were a son or bother, they were only a practice doll for them to use and then throw away
This has angst written all over it... Ah. Angst train it seems... Also, I think I changed the end a bit, but that's fine...
Summary: (Y/N) was nothing but a test child for Bruce. He finally lets them have it
Warnings: angst, resentment, author sucks at angst, but hey, I tried, yelling, mentions of anxiety, the fam is trying, (Y/N) is mad beyond belief, implications of child neglect... If you can call it child neglect.
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(Y/N) (L/N) was the oldest member of the Wayne family and the first child that Bruce had adopted. (Y/N) didn't have a good life at all before he met Bruce. (Y/N) could also argue that Bruce didn't treat him well as well, since being emotionally unavailable is not a good trait to have when you have children.
As the years went by, he hated growing up in the manor and with Bruce. He had food, a roof over his head and some sort of education. But that wasn't enough. The feeling of resentment that (Y/N) had has only grown as the years went by.
The feeling of being a test to Bruce, to see what he need to improve made his blood boil. He was a test pancake for Bruce and some sort of feedback to Bruce. It made (Y/N) mad beyond. Bruce could have gotten his shit straight when he started to have him as his legal child.
(Y/N) wished that he could forget everything about Bruce. About the family too. Even before Dick came, resentment building up in him nearly exploded. Looking back, he should have exploded on Bruce and Dick... Maybe even punch them. Maybe he should have done it.
When Dick came, (Y/N) saw signs that Bruce was improving, but he didn't show that to (Y/N). Years went by and Damian came. To say that Damian pretended that (Y/N) didn't exist is an understatement. (Y/N) tried to get closer to Damian, but Damian always pushed him away. (Y/N) took the signs and gave up, sadness and anger boiling inside of him. But he did observe Damian and Dick. In matter of a few days, they were close.
Dick did it without even trying.
So, (Y/N) has decided to alienate himself from the family, at least until he gets enough money to leave. Thankfully, the resentment towards Bruce and the rest of the family made him even put everything he had in school, even though no one cared about it. He had straight As and he was on his way to go to college that was far away from here. He knows that he can do it.
Even as Tim and Jason came, (Y/N) tried to be close to them, but none of them cared. None. (Y/N)'s solace became his own room and would avoid the family at all costs until it was time to eat where he had to step out. That only solidified the fact that he was going to leave as soon as possible.
Either way, he just had to alienate himself and move out. Then, everyone in the house would be happy.
However, everything would turn on its head when Damian would bring his boyfriend Jon over to meet the family and by default (Y/N). If only (Y/N) knew what would happen.
Dinner rolled around and came down to eat. He didn't expect to see Jon, but was nice to introduce himself to Jon, trying to be nice and just get this stupid dinner over with. He put some food on his plate and just ate in silence while everyone else talked.
He listened to bits and pieces and just stayed silent. He finished his plate quickly and pushed it away and sipped at his water, just being polite and getting ready to leave back at his room.
" Damian, you didn't tell me anything about (Y/N)... I thought that Dick was oldest of the brothers. " Jon said and (Y/N) froze.
Damian didn't tell Jon about him...
(Y/N)'s anger boiled over and he slammed his fist into the table before standing up quickly, knocking the chair over. Everyone got startled at the actions and watched in silence as (Y/N) left the dining room.
After a few seconds they all jumped into action, trying to stop (Y/N) to comfort him. (Y/N) slammed the door of his room shut, locking to make sure no one could enter, before he broke down on his bed. He hugged his pillow and sobbed into it.
It shouldn't hurt like this. He should have been stronger than this. Not cry over them.
" (Y/N), please open the door. " Bruce said through the door.
" Please, we just want to talk. " Dick added and (Y/N) snapped at that, anger boiling over once again.
" Talk?! TALK?! Stop acting like you care! " (Y/N) yelled at the top of his lungs.
" We do care. " Jason started.
" You don't give a single flying damn about me! I was never a son or a brother to anyone! I was only a test toy to Bruce so he could see what he could fucking improve! I was never a fucking brother either! Damian fucking proved it! " (Y/N) yelled at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face.
Everyone stayed silent and (Y/N) sobbed his heart out. Damian swallowed hardly, realizing what he did and how that hurt (Y/N) deeply. Maybe he shouldn't have...
Everyone glanced at each other. They stayed silent as they listened to (Y/N)'s sobs. Just how much pain did they brought up onto him?
" (Y/N), look- " Bruce started and (Y/N) screamed again.
" Don't you dare care right now! I'm moving out in a few days anyway and I don't need your pity or apology! " (Y/N) yelled, trying to wipe the never ending stream of tears.
" Moving out?! " Bruce yelled, eyes wide in shock. He know he has no right to tell (Y/N) what to do, but something flared up in Bruce. " No, you're not moving out! You are going to stay put because we have to solve this problem! "
" Are you shitting me Bruce?! Work things out?! "
" I'm not shitting you! I have to make things right with you! You are my son too! " Bruce yelled through the door.
" I don't give a single damn about any of you! "
Bruce took a deep breath, trying not to explode. He knows he has no right to be angry, but (Y/N) was still his son. " (Y/N), I am your dad and we will solve this problem. "
" We won't solves shit Bruce! "
" (Y/N), please, " Tim started, but (Y/N) cut him off. " Shut up Tim! "
Tim bit the inside of his cheek and stepped back.
" (Y/N), " Jason started, " You need to calm down, you'll give yourself a heart attack. "
(Y/N) wanted to scream even more, but he felt like he was going to die from this situation.
" Shut up, all of you! "
Now Dick started. " (Y/N), we may have been bad brothers- "
" May have?! You were- No, you are the worst brothers! " (Y/N) yelled and clenched his fists as he started facing around the room.
Dick sighed and stepped back. At the moment, everyone knew that (Y/N) talking to them without yelling at them and more importantly, he needed to calm down first.
But with how much anger and resentment there is, it is going to take a while.
" Lets leave (Y/N) alone for a while. He needs to be alone for now. " Bruce said and gently moved everyone away from (Y/N)'s doors, who was inside, trying to breathe more normally. He felt like he was going to jump out of his skin in the next few moments. He calmed down after a while, but he was still anxious beyond belief.
Unfortunately, the threat of moving out is just a threat and not a promise. (Y/N) sighed as he sat down on his bed. It was a stupid move to say that while he didn't have everything secure yet. Stupid.
(Y/N) went to the bathroom and washed his face and drank some water, to soothe his soon to be sore throat. It won't be nice to talk in a few hours.
Either way, it's better than leaving this room in order to face his siblings and dad. No, they are just roommates here, until (Y/N) can move out and just finally cut them out of his life.
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rafesapologist · 10 months
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the set up — rafe cameron
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𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀): angst, cussing, mentions of alcohol use, some mentions of violence
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: she's a bit of a long one so bare with me. there will likely be a part two!
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It was 9 o'clock at night and your phone was abnormally barren and noiseless. Nightfall was creeping up on you before you knew it, distracted by the long day of galavanting at the chateau with your best friends'. On a typical day, by the time the sun was setting your boyfriend, Rafe, was eager to call you and maunder about his day. It never mattered what his schedule consisted of, whether it was golfing with topper and kelce, or working with his dad, he made it a part of his routine just to call you and hear your voice before the day was over.
However, this night was different. It was unusual for Rafe to not at least shoot you a text letting you know he wouldn't be calling for a bit, something he usually did when he was busy. Perhaps he was caught up in family matters with his dad and couldn't get to the phone? You thought. But it was still out of character for him not to find a way to contact you, even if it costed him being scorned by his dad.
You sat cross-legged at the foot of your bed, pondering. You began to feel an itching urge to text him and ask if everything was okay, but you hated feeling pushy and your pride was always one to get the best of you in most situations. The idea of texting Sarah soon came to mind and seemed like the best route to take without disturbing your boyfriend in the chance that he genuinely was extremely busy and couldn't get to the phone. You unlocked your phone and went straight to the iMessage app, immediately finding Sarah's contact and beginning to type out a quick message. But, before you hit send, your body began to feel hot and your hands went clammy. Your mind was beginning to get the best of you as it started to race with unnerving thoughts that clouded over your prior hopefulness. Despite how close you were with Sarah, you feared that if you were to ask her what Rafe was up to, she'd become aggravated at your nosiness. But by the growing hour, the urge to find out became overwhelming.
Your fingers shakily typed out a short, to-the-point message followed by them instantly hitting send.
*Y/N: hey, i haven't heard from rafe all day and i'm getting a little worried tbh. is everything okay??*
Your eyes flickered over the delivered message for what felt like a million times as you found it harder to sit still with the nimiety of anxiety coursing through your veins. Your foot tapped vigorously while you bit at your brittle nails. You couldn't seemed to get past the thought of something bad happening to the boy you loved so deeply, and the mere cogitation of the scenario made you feel sick to your stomach.
*SARAH: hey! that's odd. i have no idea, i haven't heard from anyone. maybe stop by my house and see what he's doing? i know wheezie is there, she'll let you in :)*
You breathed out a sigh of relief at her response, thanking the girl mentally for providing you some sort of response, although clarity was not fully provided and the answer as to what was up with Rafe still remained undetermined. But Sarah's message was enough solace to muster up the strength to head over to the Cameron's household, hoping with everything inside of you that your boyfriend was in there. Enough time had passed to where you didn't even care if it was just him ignoring your texts, you just needed to know if he was alright.
After a brief interval of stalling out of pure apprehension, you finally coaxed yourself into driving over to the Cameron's estate. Your legs sped down the stairs hurriedly, making your way passed the coat rack as you snatched the car keys off of it before sprinting out the front door without acknowledging your parents who watched you exit the house with an alarming haste. Their attempts to call out to you and ask where you were going went ignored as you were too focused on one specific thing - Rafe. You wanted to get to him, you needed to get to him.
The fifteen minute drive felt like two hours as you sped to your boyfriend's house, so eager to locate him that you barely realized the speed that you were going down residential areas. But you couldn't care less about anything else than the boy that was prominent in your mind, the one that you spent nearly every single day and night with over the last six months; some of the best in your life so far. Tears begin to prick at your eyes as you gave attention to the thought of losing Rafe, hating how vulnerable and manic you felt in that moment during the drive. Memories of the boy flooded through your thoughts, ones of him holding you as close as he possibly could while you two fell asleep entangled in one another, peppering soft kisses on your face and neck during early mornings just to wake you up because he knew how much you despised getting up before noon, and all the times he would go out of way just to make you happy. Everything about your relationship with Rafe was perfect, regardless of how much your friends' hated the fact that you were together, considering he was at the top of their enemy list.
Once the visual of the enormous white mansion came into view, your heart began to feel as if it was going to pop right out of your chest. Your foot nearly slammed into the floorboard as you raced onto the property's driveway, wasting no time to put the car in park and scurry up the steps that led to the front porch. With three swifts knocks at the door, you were quickly met with the familiar face of the beloved youngest Cameron sibling, Wheezie.
"Y/n! What are you doing here?" Wheezie questioned, a vaunting smile present on her freckled face.
"Hey Wheeze, have you seen Rafe anywhere? I haven't heard from him all day." You confessed timidly while you attempted to keep a calm composure around the adolescent girl, fearing that you'd alarm her if you expressed your true state of distress.
A noticeable frown grew on Wheezie's face in response to your inquiry, which automatically planted a nauseous feeling at the pit of your stomach. Her eyes averted from your gaze and fell to the ground in avoidance to your burning gaze of worry, "Rafe is.. In the kitchen. He got home a few minutes ago, but I feel like I should warn you before you go see him." She admitted diffidently with her stare still pinned at the ground just before your feet.
"What is it, Wheezie?" You catechized due to her visible hesitancy, a state you had only seen the young girl in once when she witnessed Rafe in a yelling match with is dad, one that nearly resulted in him hitting Ward straight in the face.
"He doesn't look very good, Y/n. When he came home he.. He looked like he was on something and he had blood on him. His eyes were all bloodshot, too. I've never seen him this angry before, I think something happened. I don't know what's gotten into him." Wheezie admitted hastily, displaying a sense of urgency that sent goosebumps across your chilled body.
"Okay, okay, it's alright, Wheeze. Just listen to me," you crouched down to meet her height, gripping onto her shoulders with a light squeeze, "go upstairs and close your door. Turn a movie on or play some music, yeah? Just promise me you'll stay in there until I come get you, okay?" You asserted earnestly with your first priority to remove the innocent girl who had fear plastered all over her face. She simply nodded in reply to your request, wasting no time before turning around and heading up the stairs. You waited until you heard the sound of a door closing before stepping foot into the household, your feet feeling like a ton of bricks as you approached the kitchen with caution.
Upon entrance, you were met with the sight of an extremely disheveled Rafe, worse than you had ever seen him before. His eyes were glossy and accompanied with a bloody red appearance over his scleras. Your eyes trailed down to the noticeable blood splatters stained onto his grey polo, an observtion that took the air out of your lungs and your mouth go dry.
"Rafe?" You mousily called out to the fretful boy that was pacing the kitchen while he ran his fingers through his hair in distress. The sound of your soft voice cause his body to come to a halt, freezing in place with his back still turned to you. The sound of a dry, menacing laugh erupted from your boyfriend's throat that broke the defeaning silence in the air. Your eyebrows furrowed, sensing that his hostility may be aimed at you.
"What do you want?" Rafe subtly scoffed in response, still refusing to turn around and look at you.
"I came to make sure you were okay," you spoke up with a timorous voice, "I was worried cause I haven't heard from you." You folded your arms as you stood in place, displaying an evidence lack of confidence in your body language.
"As if you care." He spun around which took you by surprise, getting a better look at the state of disarray he was truly in. The bags under his eyes painted a deep shade of bluish-purple as though he hadn't slept in the last 24 hours. To make matters worse, dried blood was present on his mouth and chin, seemingly from the laceration of an open wound on his bottom lip. You shivered once you noticed how his normally soft features were replaced with a look of anger and resentment.
"What are you talking about? You know how much I care about you, Rafe." You stated, defending your point as he seemed to question your fidelity towards him.
"Cut the bullshit, Y/n! Haven't you lied to me enough? Aren't you tired of keeping up with all these lies?" Rafe squinted his eyes down at you, pointing at you in an accusatory manner that made you flinch. He had never been aggressive with you, far from it. Truth be told, it frightened you to see him like this, especially with the stench of alcohol exuding from him potently.
"Rafe.." you squeaked, feeling small and powerless under his tall stature, "You're scaring me. I don't know what you're talking about. You need to calm-"
"Our whole relationship has been a fucking lie, Y/n! Even down to the moment we met, you and your little piece of shit Pogue friends had this all planned out. I bet you've told them every single thing I've told you, I fucking trusted you! I should've known you Pogues were no good. All you guys do is stick your noses in places they don't belong." Rafe spat at you causing you to stumble back from him some, your back hitting the wall as he cornered you against the wall.
"You can thank your beloved 'friend' JJ for telling me. Boy's got a mouth on him," Rafe snickered as he shook his head in disbelief as he recounted his interaction with the blond Pogue, "ran into him at the golf course and he was running his mouth as usual. Guess I pissed him off so much that he blurted your guys' whole plan out, trying to get a reaction out of me or whatever. Got the shit beat out of him instead." He snarled.
Tears formed in your eyes at the revelation of Rafe finding out about the foolish plan you and your friends came up with months ago. They were always suspicious of the unpredictable Kook, rightfully so, but their mistake was setting you up to gain the rapport of the unknowing boy, who couldn't help but to melt at the sight of you. It was an easy operation, with Rafe falling under your spell within the first three weeks of meeting. But, what they didn't anticipate was you falling for him just as much.
He scoffed again, interrupting your fit of choking sobs, "No, don't cry. Do not stand here with that look on your face like you're the victim in this. You have no idea, y/n, no idea what it did to me when I heard that, and from all people, JJ fucking Maybank."
"Rafe, please-"
"Stop! Stop," Rafe's voice began to break as his words trembled in sorrow, tears escaping his azure eyes, "I loved you, y/n. So much. Never in my life have I opened up to someone, gave someone so much, as I have to you. Every damn day I woke up, only wanting to talk to you. You were always the first thing on my mind, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. You.. You were everything to me, and to think this whole time it's been some fucking sick game to you. Running back to your worthless Pogue friends that are nothing but trouble. How could I be so stupid? Trusting a fucking Pogue like you." His words put wounds in your chest and tore at your heart from the pure hatred for you that exuded from them. You never imagined you'd be at the other end of Rafe's spiteful outbursts at the end of it all, but there you were, looking up at him with a cold look in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Rafe. I'm sorry, okay? I know that doesn't fix this but I didn't plan for this to happen. I told them it would only be a month and I would be done, but then I fell in love with you. I didn't spend all that time with you because of them. Our agreement was only-"
"Our agreement," he scoffed at your words, "do you hear yourself? You're unbelievable. You think that makes me feel better? Oh, you were only supposed to manipulate me for a month? How generous of you." Rafe mocked back at you, the high levels of alcohol in his system causing him to slur his words some.
"I-I know, I know that nothing I say will make this better. I know that you'll never trust me and you'll hate me forever after this, but I'm so sorry, Rafe. I didn't mean for this to happen." You looked up at him with sincerity, a pleading look in your eyes.
"I don't hate you. That's the fucking problem." He muttered.
"What?" You questioned, confused at his admission.
"I don't hate you, y/n. Believe me, I wish I could right now, but I don't. You think after everything we've been through that I could just hate you like that? That easy? Y/n, you're the love of my life. Don't you get that? I wouldn't be in the state I'm in right now if I didn't love you. I don't know what to do, and I'm at a war with myself because one part of me needs you, and the other can't even stand to look you in the eyes right now." Rafe sighed as he combed a hand through his dirty blond hair. His harsh demeanor was beginning to slip as his features softened and was replaced with an appearance of sadness and void. It was clear that the boy was completely shattered, and it broke your heart. Your mind began racing in that moment, unsure of really what to do in order to comfort the heartbroken boy. Do you leave him be and rip the bandaid off? Was that too cold of you to do? Or were you supposed to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, despite the uncertainty that things would be.
"Rafe.." Your words trailed off as you watched Rafe's bloody lip begin to tremble. He closed his glossy eyes at the sweet sound of your voice, only hurting him more to realize that he'd miss that beautiful noise. He hated how much he craved you, how much he needed you, because he told himself a million times than he could never trust you again after JJ's confession. But he couldn't bring himself to push you away, although you put him in the position he was in. Hurting him worse than anyone has in his entire life.
"I don't wanna think about it right now, okay? I can't.. I can't stand the thought of waking up without you, y/n. I mean call me fucking crazy, but fucking hell, I still love you. I don't know what's wrong with me." Your boyfriend broke down in sobs, tears streaming down his bruised face.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Rafe. You didn't deserve this." You shook your head at his insecurity, assuring him that none of this was on him.
"Please stay with me tonight, we can talk about this in the morning or whatever, but please." Rafe pleaded, looking down at you with a pitiful look on his face that made your heart swell. His hand was placed at your waist, with a fistful of your shirt in his grip, pleading to your with full sincerity.
"Of course I will."
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hells-wasabii · 3 months
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I love the fics you've posted so far!! Ep5 came for my throat so could I have something for Lucifer? With a sad!reader, if you're feeling it! I'm Going Through It and duck man is such a comfort for me right now hehe
A/N: YES! FIRST LUCIFER REQ! Thank you so much! it really means a lot that you guys are enjoying reading my works as much as I'm enjoying writing them! I do wanna say that i hope things get better for you and that my writing helped at least a small bit :)
Character: Lucifer
Type: Headcanons (Lucifer x sad!reader, Fluff)
Lucifer is, without a doubt, going to be one of the most understanding inhabitants of hell of your plights. He had been cast aside as the ugly duckling from his family, he had fallen into his depression only to distract himself with hobbies. He still was, but you made it better for him. I have no doubt in my mind that he would want to make it better for you.
Some days are better than others and he knows that. On bad days he's right there by your side, hoping to be a constant source of comfort and solace. You were always there for him, so he would do the very same for you.
If you're fine with physical touch, the fallen angel would take you in his arms (whether you're taller or not), and out would come his wings to wrap around you as well. He would do his best to make it a safe space. If you wanted as well, he would take flight, holding you close, whispering soft reassurances as you tell him your deepest woes.
Oh is there anything you want? anything at all? Say the word and he'll have it for you just as quick as he can get it, even if it requires going to the other rings. He's pretty sure the other seven deadly sins owe him a few favors anyway.
As much as he cares, if you cry he will fumble the ball hard at first. He'll try to distract you, pulling out his latest duck to show you. And if that doesn't work he'll scramble to find something else. Eventually, he'll even sing for you.
Fully expect this man to stay up late with you just talking. Whether it be sharing past traumas that still ache, or talking about newer wounds on your heart, he's there, listening intently. just keep the sad thoughts away,
"You know, dear, i think i know something that can help take your mind off things... Wanna go to Lu Lu World?!"
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lokisgoodgirl · 9 months
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Asgard's Greatest Lover [Brodinsons]
Part of the Brother Collection A link to my regular Masterlist is HERE Summary: An offhand comment leads to a salty trip down memory lane. (w/c 1.4k) Warnings: Squabbling. D*ck measuring contests to fluff. Implied smut references.
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“Loki, she’s looking over-” Despite best efforts to ignore it, the meaty elbow jostling the god’s ribs made him wince. “Loki, look, in the stand yonder. She’s looking, Loki- look” Thor boomed excitedly, bouncing in his seat. “Will you desist?” Loki spat, hissing under his breath.
He could feel blood warming his cheeks, the volume of Thor's attempt at subtlety making him wish a portal would swallow him whole. He shouldn't have come. He didn't even like tennis. And yet, as always, here he was. With his public embarrassment of a brother. Loki grimaced as Thor began to point.
“But look hence...she noticed you! Perhaps she wishes to bid us good day.” He began to raise his arm, the start of a floppy wave which would likely be seen from space. “Wave, Loki- look, brother, see-!” Loki’s hand shot out, forcing the over-excited gesture down. “She’s wondering if you have utterly lost control of your faculties, brother;” Loki snarled, trying his best to look menacing. “As am I.”
Thor chortled, straightening a muscle vest which was three sizes too small. “Oh, Loki. You never have been very good at this sort of thing,” he sighed, letting his enthused gaze roam up and down the pristine grass court as Stark Industries friends and family took their seats. “It truly is a boon that you have one such as I to guide you in this romantic endeavour.” Loki raised his brows. He knew he shouldn’t take the bait. Especially in public. Especially today. But it was just too tempting.
“Whatever could you mean, brother?” he crooned, giving his most stoic side-eye with a tilt of his chin. He felt Thor bristle, telltale nervous fingering of blonde strands behind his ear letting Loki know the warning pitch of his voice had hit as intended.
“Well, Loki, it’s no secret that your love life has been fraught with unfortunate malaise where seduction is concerned,” “Unfortunate?” Loki said coldly, “I wouldn’t call a reputation as Asgard’s greatest lover unfortunate.”
Thor spluttered, shaking his head with sanctimonious laughter. “Ah, my little brother. I do admire the unshakeable esteem with which you hold your delusions.”
The dark brother’s grip tightened on the bleacher bench. “And I suppose you believe that title belongs to you, does it?” he sneered through gritted teeth. Poison flecked the words, dripping from his tongue like venom from a fang. Thor’s eyes narrowed. “I have the relic which proves it,” he shrugged.
“The one our mother gave you in solace when Jane left?” Loki snarled, “Pathetic. I doubt she even knew what it truly meant, just echoed your boorish claims thinking it was based in chivalry,” he paused. “At least, I hope that was her intent.” They stared at each other in pregnant silence.
“It matters not that mother gifted me said ceramic receptacle,” Thor said through gritted teeth. “What matters is, that my legend reaches far beyond the bifrost to bedchambers across nine realms, brother.” A shit-eating grin spread across his face. “Whereas yours is rather more contained to the palace servant quarters.” “That was one instance,” Loki spat, “and she was the most comely chambermaid we’d ever had.” “I’m sure,” Thor huffed, rolling his eyes. He brought one fist in front of Loki’s face, flexing an ostentatious bulge of bicep. “I was too busy giving the princess of Nilfheim a shudder of my very special thunder to notice.” He smirked, delivering a slow wink to punctuate his prowess. “She was never the same afterwards, you know.” Loki stared open mouthed, before he burst into raucous laughter.
From across the court, Steve immediately stood with a snap; hands on his hips with the most uptight death glare Loki had ever seen. “This is tennis,” Steve squawked. “For gosh’s sakes, have some respect.”
Through tears of mirth, Loki saw you cover your mouth with your hand to stifle a giggle. She recognises that Rogers is ridiculous, he thought. Good. That’s good.
Regaining his composure, Loki straightened. He smoothed his hair behind his ears, picking up the gauntlet his brother had carelessly cast down.
“Never the same. Quite.” he mused thoughtfully, collecting himself. “I can believe that your relentless dry-thrusting, lack of imagination and moans which sound suspiciously like the name of your talisman would scar her for life, yes.” “Leave Mjölnir out of this,” Thor snapped. Loki smirked, eyes wandering casually to where you sat. “The rumours are true then. Interesting.” he murmured slyly. Thor crossed and re-crossed his legs, the bleacher creaking beneath his weight. “She was perfectly satisfied,” the blonde grumbled, shifting his feet. Loki snorted. “Brother, you could not satisfy a woman if the key to unlocking her pleasure was written in parchment and propped upon her belly.” Thor stared, blankly. “Ah, yes – I forgot. A woman’s pleasure is not your forte is it,” Loki sneered, casting a quick glance towards his brother’s reddening face. “From what I heard, your attempts have been tragic at worst and laughable at best-” “Loki,” Thor warned, glancing anxiously at the people filling the seats behind them. But Loki continued, un-phased.
“Did you truly think you were to rub it with your chin?” He let out a harsh ooo, before sucking the air between his teeth.
“Those unfortunate women,” he drawled with feigned solemnity. “They didn’t want to hurt your feelings. ‘Asgard’s greatest lover’...please.” Thor tried to speak then thought better of it. Loki felt the glee begin to rise in his chest as he tasted victory in the air. “I felt moved for her when she hobbled from your chambers, poor thing. What did she cite for her impromptu departure, I wonder? Headache, was it?” He looked at his brother. The glazed look of bamboozled betrayal in his eyes told Loki that he was in fact, correct.
“Thankfully, I had just run a rather luxurious bath for myself which the lady found most soothing to aid her discomfort,” Loki purred, throwing his scarlet-faced sibling a knowing glance. “She was very grateful for my healing hands. And other anatomical attentions.”
Thor stared with slack-jawed disbelief.
The dark-haired god flicked his keen gaze towards you again. He let his eyes track up the skin of your bare calf, glinting in the afternoon sun. Supple, he pondered; thanking the Norns for the light breeze which rustled your skirt. On cue, you sipped from a large water bottle. Loki smirked.
“I was not aware that I was now a figure of such...ridicule. How times have changed.” Loki frowned as his moment of voyeurism was disturbed by Thor’s quiet mewl. With a sigh of resignation he swivelled, their knees touching. He reached for his brother’s hand, lowering his chin with sincerity in his eyes.
“Brother, that is not so” Loki said softly, “you have always been a figure of ridicule.”
Thor let out a shaky laugh, nodding. “I can always count on you to cheer me, brother” he said, patting Loki’s hand. Loki nodded once in acknowledgement. “Perhaps the next time you think yourself above me in the art of seduction, you will remember this conversation.”
“One can hope,” Thor chirped.
Loki rolled his eyes, retracting his hand. Polite clapping erupted as the first of the day’s players walked onto the court, waving at the crowds. He could feel Rogers suspicious stare burning into him from the other side of the grass, but he paid it no mind. “You truly think the odds are in my favour, brother?” Loki murmured thoughtfully, nodding subtly in your direction.
The two of them craned to catch a glimpse, the figure of his affections now half-obscured by a sea of lesser bodies. Your demure facial expression gave nothing away, but a pat on the shoulder from Natasha soon made you break into a dazzling smile. How she is not a goddess, I shall never know, Loki pondered; feeling his heart melt into his stomach and transform to a sea of butterflies. The redhead nudged her chin upwards, urging you to look up where the two gods stood. Staring. “Gods,” Loki hissed regretfully, continuing to clap like a fool. There was nothing else to be done. The boorishness of his brother had once again drawn the wrong kind of attention. But try as he might, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Perhaps she has some magic of her own, he mused.
Thor’s elbow jostled against his ribs, “I told you, Loki” he chortled, “god of chaos or not, I would say that the odds are most definitely in your favour where your lady is concerned.” “Truly?” Loki breathed, his heart beating faster as you gave him a small, bashful wave. “Truly,” Thor said, giving his brother’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.
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Tags (if you'd rather stick with smutty stuff please let me know!) @meowmeow-motherfucker @gigglingtiggerv2 @imalovernotahater @avengersalways @littledark11 @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @thedistractedagglomeration @loopsisloops @glitchquake @holdmytesseract @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @morriggannlostinfandoms @marygoddessofmischief @sebstanwhore @xorpsbane @peacefulpianist @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @acidcasualties @ozymdias @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokidokieokie @kikster606 @peachyjinx @tbhiddlestan83 @trickster-maiden @skymoonandstardust @justjoanne242 @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfmoonmusic @brittbax @smolvenger @superficialdomina @kaleenjackson @fictional-hooman @goddessofwonderland @muddyorbsblr @arch-venus25 @nine-leafclover
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ichorai · 7 months
Text
hell, yeah ; roman roy ; part four (m).
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pairing ; roman roy x f!reader
synopsis ; pain was an old friend for the both of you.
words ; 18.0k
themes ; fluff, angst, drama, slowburn, smut, childhood friends to lovers
warnings / includes ; depictions of mental and physical abuse, mentions of death, unprotected penetrative sex, a lot of sexual/suicidal jokes and general foul language, tons of business talk, talks of nazis/fascism/conservatism, really morally grey shit, roman’s implied demisexuality, kendall & reader's popsicle war, mencken himself is a warning
series masterlist. main masterlist.
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A conservative political fundraiser weekend was the last place on earth you wanted to be, but hell—Logan wanted you there, so who were you to say no to the boss? Besides, hubs like this were always good to sniff out who would be the most dangerous people on the red spectrum.
The hall was decked out in lavish decorations—chandeliers and golden ornaments and marble statues every which way you looked. It was full to the brim with mingling politicians of all kinds: the kinds being old white men, or…
Hm. Seemed like it was practically all old white men other than a handful of women wandering around. White women, of course.
You and Shiv locked eyes for a moment. Though the two of you shared many common political interests, at least much more than the rest of the family, you often found yourself on the opposite ends of agreement. But today, in a sea of men with confederate flags for dicks, the two of you found solace in one another. 
“You can smell the panic,” she told you. “Berlin Bunker vibes.”
“They’re scrambling,” you replied. “Nobody was expecting this. Maybe they should’ve.”
Beside you, Roman cuffed your shoulder. “Ooh—the libtard and the soc-commie. How does it feel to be spelunking in the elephant’s asshole?”
“Calling me a communist isn’t the insult you think it is,” you told Roman, rolling your eyes.
“Mmh. I’m sure they would’ve loved you in the 1930s.”
Shiv crossed her arms. “We’re just corporate observers.”
“The weekend isn’t over yet—we’ll get our white cis-male stank all over you,” Roman commented snidely.
It was then that Greg came up to the group, expression muddled with confusion. “Hey, guys, some guy with an undercut just called me a ‘soy boy’. What, uhm, I don’t really know what that means? What is this, actually? Like what’s everyone here for?”
“It’s just a nice political conference of like-minded donors and intellectuals,” Roman told his cousin.
“I wouldn’t call them intellectuals, exactly,” you said with a frown. You were pretty sure half of these men owned podcasts talking about how toxic masculinity is fake, and the other half were so old they didn’t know how to turn the brightness up on their own phone. 
“We’re picking the next president,” Tom piped up, which made Shiv arch a brow.
“That’s not… that’s not really how it works.”
Roman shrugged. “No, sure, but… it kinda is.”
“Is that—is that constitutional?” Greg queried, looking around worriedly, suddenly wondering if he was participating in yet another illegal activity.
“Welcome to the one percent, Greg,” you told him with a sigh. “Where you don’t have to worry about the constitution anymore.”
Roman pinched your cheek. “Awh, look at you, embracing the right-wing traditions! I love that for you.”
Wrinkling your nose, you swatted his hand away. “Six months till election day and still no candidate. Surprised everyone hasn’t unanimously agreed on putting the vice prez up on a pedestal.”
“Steady old plow horse, huh?” Roman said, directing his gaze to the old vice president, Dave Boyer. “He licks his lips too much. Like a—like a cartoon bear when there’s a picnic hamper nearby.”
You laughed at that, and Roman shot you a grin. 
“I’m going to go take a tour. Check out the fresh meat,” he told you, and you nodded. 
“I’ll be near the entrance if you need me.”
With that, he set off to mingle, hands shoved into his pockets to stop him from his habitual itching and scratching.
“Who are you thinking?” Shiv leaned forward to ask.
“Boyer. Seems the most obvious, easiest choice,” you replied, meeting her scrutinizing stare.
“Are you saying that because he is the easiest choice, or because he’d be the easiest to win against?” she asked with a sharp smile.
There was a momentary pause. “Why, who do you think they should put up?”
“I say we go blue.”
Your mouth fell open as you struggled to find the words to respond with. “Shiv, that just—that’d never work.”
“Why not?”
“You realize ATN is fucking—it’s fueled by everything right-wing! For us to suddenly bat for dems would bring nothing but angry conservatives and we’d lose a fuck-ton of shareholder money.” You shook your head. “Look, Shiv, I don’t like them as much as you do. But forcing your dad to swing blue is just a terrible idea.”
Her features hardened. “The least we could do is try. Right?”
Before you could respond, Roman came hurrying back, phone clutched tightly in his hand. He shoved the screen up against his sister’s face. “Did you know about this, you withholding bitch?”
“Uh, what?” 
“You know Glyn, the, uh, the Brexit pervert?” Roman said, gesturing to the tall British chap with a large nose. “Yeah, he just sent this to me—apparently our mother is marrying Peter Munion.”
Both you and Shiv doubled with surprise. “What?” she asked. “Who’s Peter Onion?”
“I don’t fucking know. I wonder if that first-born fucker knew,” Roman said. 
“I mean, if you guys didn’t know, I’m sure Connor wouldn’t have known, either,” you ventured, glancing over at the eldest sibling chattering to two other politicians about abolishing taxes.
Snorting, Roman replied, “No, the other first-born fucker. Kenny Dick.”
“Ah. Right.”
“Call him.” Shiv nudged her brother.
With a hum, Rome whipped his phone out and called his brother, putting it on speaker phone for the two of you to hear.
“Yeah, what?” Kendall’s voice came through on the second ring.
“Hey. Just wanted you to know that new dad just dropped.”
There was a brief crackle of silence. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Mummy’s getting married, you dingus.”
“Did you know?” Shiv leaned forward to query.
Roman snickered. “Of course he didn’t know, Ken bores the shit out of mom.”
You remembered one Christmas when you were children, the family was exchanging gifts—Kendall had set down a little red box in front of Caroline so she could open it. Something hand-made? You’d always wondered. The wrapping was shoddy. It was forgotten and pushed off to the side in favor of prettier, more expensive-looking presents. You were pretty sure Caroline hadn’t even seen the gift. Or maybe she did. Maybe she just didn’t care to open it. Nonetheless, Kendall, thirteen years of age, didn’t try to give it to her again. That night, when the servants were tossing away all the stray wrappings and ribbons, you caught sight of the crumpled red box chucked into a black garbage bag. You didn’t dwell on it, because Roman had heckled you away soon after to ‘watch’ Shiv play with her new dollhouse.
“What are you even talking about?” Kendall asked. He sounded angry. “You mean, she’s marrying Rory?”
“Uh, no. She took the view ‘Fuck Rory’,” Shiv said, glib.
Sneering, Kendall abruptly changed the subject. “Hey, Shiv, is it true you’re at the hate-fest? Burning books and measuring skulls down in Virginia?” 
“Yeah,” Shiv deadpanned. “What are you doing with your weekend? Planning to send us all to jail? Your favorite past-time?”
Before it could escalate into a full-on argument, Roman pulled the phone close to him and said, “Alright, just wanted to let you know that Mummy still doesn’t love you. Bye, Ken!”
With that, he hung up.
“Do you think your mom is going to invite me to her wedding?” you asked, wrinkling your nose at the prospect of going all the way across the ocean when you had so much work piled up. “And would she be offended if I didn’t come?”
“Oh, she’s definitely inviting you. You know how she is. Needs everyone who knows of her existence to see how rich and pompous she is. She’d have a grudge against you if you didn’t come,” Roman told you.
You frowned, and Roman laughed.
“We can be each other’s date. It’ll be fun. Don’t worry about it.” He rubbed your shoulder, and began leading you off to the bar to get some drinks. 
“Your mother would love that. Us, being each other’s dates? She’d gloat in our faces that she’s known all along,” you mused with a grin, before leaning against the counter and asking the bartender for your preferred drink.
“Or she’d be too self-absorbed to notice. And it’s okay for her to be that way because it’s her own wedding.” Pulling a sour face, Roman shook his head. “Blegh. I can’t believe she’s actually marrying someone named Bunion.”
You laughed softly. “Munion.”
“Whatever.”
Before either of you could say anything else, a figure approached the bar, standing just beside Roman.
“Hey guys,” said Mencken. “What’s up?”
Both you and Roman turned your heads to him. He shot you a glance, noting the unimpressed raised eyebrow.
“Oh, okay. Yeah, it’s the—it’s the ghost pepper. The spicy new flavor, Mencken.” Rome gave the taller man a onceover, drawing a long sip from his glass.
Mencken’s keen eyes darted from Rome to you, and back to Roman, scrutinizing. Burning. You couldn’t quite gauge what he was thinking, but knowing all the hot bullshit he liked to spew on the internet, you were sure it’d be nothing good.
Him as president? That’d be like putting a mask on Hitler and crowning him King of the nation.
“So what’s your deal? Most people here want to fuck me or kill me.” Mencken asked, leaning against the bar. “I’m hoping it’s the former.”
You weren’t quite sure if that was directed to you or Roman, but you were disgusted, either way. 
Roman clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Ooh, wow. I always found it hard to care about politics, so… I trust in Y/N to have enough opinions for the both of us.”
He gave you a fond pat on the shoulder and you spared your friend a stiff smile.
“Right, Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” Mencken said, sticking his hand out. 
Staring down at his extended palm, you took a second to consider flat out ignoring him. But, not wanting to cause a scene, you shook it firmly, nodding curtly. “Likewise,” you lied.
When you pulled away, you made the conscious choice to discreetly wipe your palm onto your pants.
“I’ve heard a lot about you. The both of you, actually.”
“Oh, really?” you deadpanned, straightfaced.
“Tabloids never shut up.”
“They hardly ever do.”
Mencken crossed his arms. “To be honest, I always thought you two were just a PR stunt. You know the vibes… look away from all the sexual harassment, because the prince and princess of Waystar are being all snuggly at a charity event! But now that I’m looking at you in person…”
His words struck a nerve within you. A muscle in your jaw twitched. 
Roman laughed, nervous. “We aren’t—we aren’t, like, a thing. I mean we—we kind of are, but we’re also not really—”
The older man whistled sharply, lifting a hand to stop him, as if he were a dog. “No need to explain to me. I’ve been down that road many, many times.”
“Roman and I are close,” you told him, voice steely. “The details are none of your, or the public’s concern.”
The way Mencken smiled was wolfish. Greedy, almost. 
“Alright, here’s my party trick,” he said to the two of you. “Tell me who your enemy is, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
A part of you wanted to laugh. Where did he get that from, an alpha male, raw meat-eating youtuber’s podcast?
Roman sucked in a breath, amused. “Oh-kay. Let’s put a pin in that one.” He took another sip. “I’ve seen your poll numbers. You’re dark-horsin’ shit. Are people buying your whole… thing?”
Facism. That’s what Roman was alluding to. This man was a fucking fascist. The two of you were entertaining a fascist! You couldn’t believe what you’ve come to. 
Mencken chuckled. “They better buy it. Or I’ll send them to the Gulag.”
“Jesus Christ,” you hissed, wrinkling your nose. 
“No, no, no. Not work camps. Just—summer camps. It’ll be like summer camps,” Mencken said. 
“Summer camps but with beatings, right?” Roman asked, unsure if the man beside him was joking or not.
“No, no. Shh—no beatings.”
Mencken winked. He fucking winked! To your surprise, Roman laughed, genuine and chesty. 
“Wow. Tough crowd, huh?” Mencken said, meeting your unamused eyes. “You always struck me as the quiet little country mouse. No wonder you’re sticking to the big-gun citymen.”
“Well, I’m sorry if I don’t find labor camps all that funny,” you remarked, drumming your fingers along the countertop. 
“I’m just kidding. We’re joking around.” He elbowed Roman’s arm. “Is she always this uptight?”
You had to admit that it stung just a bit when Roman tipped his head back and laughed. “It’s what I like most about her. Ain’t that right, schnookums?”
You sniffed in disdain, shrugging off his hand when he placed it on your shoulder. You weren’t a huge fan of how… warm Roman was to him. It felt vile, and it felt wrong. 
Tilting his head, Mencken smacked his lips together and started up, “So, uh… do you guys know yet? Who takes over?”
Roman stopped sipping his drink and set it down. “What’s that?”
“When they send the old battletoad off to the hoosegow.” His eyes glinted. “Your dad, Logan. Admiral Grope Boat.”
“Yeah, no, he’s not… that’s actually not happening,” said Roman. He scratched at the back of his head. 
Mencken cackled at that. “Hah, yeah, that’s right. Stick to the line. That’s good.”
The two of them smiled at each other.
A sudden pit of nausea started curling within your stomach. 
Boyer and Salgado approached the bar, striking up a conversation with Mencken, effectively roping his attention away from the two of you. You downed your drink and leaned against Roman with a mild hum.
“I really thought this event would be more interesting,” you admitted.
Shoulders shaking with his chuckling, Roman asked you, “What, did you think there’d be a gun-slinging showdown? Old western-style?”
“Well, yeah. What else do conservatives do?”
The two of you snickered under your breath. 
It was then that Shiv came to stand by you, ordering a drink for herself. “Hey. What’ve you guys sniffed out?”
You offered her half a shrug, glancing over at Mencken. With a lowered voice, you said, “A lot of rotten apples in the orchard.”
The siblings both hummed at that—Shiv in agreement, Roman in amusement. 
“Look at us, playing nice,” you overheard Salgado tell Mencken. To your credit, they weren’t quite using their inside voices. “People might think we liked each other.”
“Hey, I’m a conservative! I like tradition,” Mencken protested. “I doff my cap to vice president Boyer’s years of loyal service.”
“Thank you. I believe you used to call me Martin Van Boring.”
Mencken grinned. “Hey, come on! No, I still call you that.”
Nodding, Boyer shifted to speak to everyone else gathered around the bar. “Listen, Mencken and I may differ in some areas, but, uh, we both agree that this is the party of the working class now.”
Shiv pulled an incredulous face, scoffing loud. 
“What? You don’t agree, Shiv?” Boyer asked. “All the richest counties in America are blue. The Democrats and tech hold all the wealth.”
“Oh, yes, because everyone here is scrounging through their couches for loose change,” you snidely commented, coolly meeting Boyer’s gaze. 
The old man licked at his lips, gesturing vaguely with his hands. “Come now, I’m talking about the general public. We don’t count.”
Why not?
“I just think some of us get so high off of owning the libs, we forget to talk policy,” said Salgado.
Mencken snorted. “Yeah, Rick loves to talk policy! What he does is he memorizes a National Review issue from 2012 and then recites it back to you. Cool policy, bro.”
This made Salgado frown. “Mmh, Jeryd hates to talk policy because it would mean, you know, having one.”
Roman whistled sarcastically. “Sick burn, brosef!”
“Oh, no, no. We’re kidding. We are!” Mencken insisted. He smiled at you and Roman. “We like each other. I listen to his speeches every night. Yeah. They help me drop off.”
Out of the three politicians, you had to admit that Salgado was the most appealing. Sure, he was a pushover and really only concerned about his public image rather than what he was promoting, but it was better than Mencken the fascist and Boyer the conservative lip-licker. 
“Maybe it’s boring talking about populist solutions for working families,” said Salgado.
“Rick, come on! You jerked off to Reagan’s headshot for thirty years, and now you’re Tom Joad?” Mencken jeered.
Rolling her eyes, Shiv told you, “God, this shit is so fucking boring.”
Overhearing, Mencken gave the woman a onceover. “What’s that?”
“Hm?” Shiv met his gaze. “No, I’ve just—I’ve seen your thing quite a lot.”
Mencken uncrossed his arms and then crossed them again. He was frowning, brows knitting together—evidently he didn’t quite like being tested.
“And what’s that? What’s my thing?”
“Youtube provocateur bullshit,” Shiv told him with a bitter laugh. “Aristo-populism. ‘Rape is natural, it’s all red pill, baby.’ I’m just—I’m just so fucking over it.”
“Have you read Plato?” asked Mencken. 
Oh, God. Was he really pulling the philosophical literature superiority card? Was he being serious?
“Yeah,” Shiv said in a mocking voice. “Remind me, what happens?”
“Oh, read Plato! Read Plato!” Mencken told her, his manner condescending.
“Don’t want to!” Shiv exclaimed. “I don’t fucking want to!”
Salgado cut in, “See, he doesn’t actually want to have a conversation. He just wants to yell loud enough to get on ATN.”
“Nah! Fuck ATN,” Mencken said. The room fell silent, and all eyes were on him. For a moment, he looked at you and Roman, the two of you watching him with muted interest. You wondered if he was seeking both of your approvals. “No, really, ATN is treated as a bulwark, but it’s dead. It’s basically a pudding cup at 5 PM in the nursing home. It’s status quo bedtime stories to maximize shareholder value.”
Though you didn’t want to agree with any of Mencken’s sentiments, you had to admit that his take on ATN was a valid one. ATN was hardly a reliable source, with its heavy right-wing influences. To you, it was merely a station to feed into the delusions of the older conservative generation. At the thought, you looked over your shoulder to Logan, seated on a table not too far from the bar. You only saw his back, but you wondered if he was listening in.
“Honestly, it doesn’t speak to me,” Mencken continued on. “Doesn’t speak to the people I talk to.”
“And who is it you talk to?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 
Mencken stared at you for a moment before answering, “People who want to see the truth. See the natural order of things.”
“Natural order. Wow,” you whispered under your breath. With that, you ordered another drink. You couldn’t listen to all this bullshit sober. 
Mencken nodded. “Logan Roy was an icon. But, you know… he’s no longer relevant.”
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“Do you recognize this fucker?” Roman asked, shoving the phone in Shiv’s face.
“Nope,” she said.
You peered over his shoulder to see the wedding invitation on his screen, zoomed into his mother’s fiance’s face. 
“Fucking jelly-boned, low-T, pip-pip cheerio fucker,” Roman muttered as he shut the phone off and slid it back into his suit jacket’s pocket.
You pressed the button on the elevator to go up. Logan had called all of you up to the royal suite to discuss options for the next red presidential candidate—something you weren’t at all looking forward to. “He doesn’t look all that bad. Do you think your dad knows?”
The doors slid open and the three of you filed in.
Roman tilted his head. “No. But we have to stop the wedding, right?” 
Both you and Shiv exchanged incredulous looks. 
“Stop obsessing over Mom’s new husband,” Shiv told her brother. “Just get over it. Who cares?”
Narrowing his eyes, Roman asked, “Get over it? It just fucking happened. My mother’s marrying some dickhead, crooked-toothed turnip man.”
“His teeth looked quite nice in the picture, actually—” you began, before falling silent at Roman’s loud groan.
“What’s wrong is how little you care about it, you frozen bitch,” Roman commented off-handedly, making Shiv roll her eyes.
“Oh, poor Rome! His dreams of porking Mom are slipping through his little lubed-up fingers!” she leered, snickering a little.
A frown crossed your features. “It’s okay to care about it, Shiv. I mean… it’s your mom.”
“Something she often forgets,” she murmured, and that marked the end of the conversation.
The elevator rolled to a halt, the doors opening once more to a grand hall. The door to the suite was all the way down, and the three of you made your way there in contemplative silence. Logan was inside to greet you, along with Tom, Hugo, Connor, and Greg (who was awkwardly lingering by the curtained windows). 
“There’s a lot of chat flying around. A lot of flapping,” your godfather said once everyone had settled in. “We need one voice on this, or we could fall apart and hand it to the fuck-fuck donkey gang.”
Donkey gang, obviously meaning the democrats. You spared Shiv a look—she was seated away from her husband, frowning down at her hands.
“So… who do we like?” Logan asked.
Shiv cleared her throat and said, “Shouldn’t we kick it around for a bit? Feels like it’s poised, so if you and Petkus come together, and the other donors follow, it just—”
“Exactly,” Logan deadpanned. “We’re picking. We haven’t got all night.”
Occupying one of the long sofas all on his own, Connor put forth, “I like Connor Roy.”
The room lapsed into silence for a few seconds. Roman smiled, amused.
Calling back to the short conversation you had with Shiv earlier, she said, “Honestly, Dad, I think you go Dems.”
Immediately, the two brothers in the room reacted with incredulity.
“Wow,” Connor scoffed.
“Jesus Christ! What, are we all going to hold hands and sing kumbaya next?” Roman exclaimed. Then, he sat up straighter. “Uhm, I… I kinda like Mencken? But—I know he’s kind of shitty, so if it’s now, I guess I’d say Boyer. But can I also just say that I don’t like Boyer?”
Though you were not at all happy that Roman was leaning for Mencken, you had to agree that Boyer was a safe choice. You crossed your arms. “Hard pass to Mencken. I say we go Boyer. Vice is nice, no?”
Shiv sighed loudly.
“What? What’s with the fucking attitude?” Roman asked.
The redhead held her hands out. “Okay, look, no disrespect, but Boyer was yesterday’s papers. The Dems will run on change and blow him away.”
“Ooh, Mrs. Politics,” crooned Roman. “How many big races did you win as a consultant? Four? Three? Did you win two? One?” He held up his middle finger.
She scowled. “Roman, Boyer is not a winner, and we know that.”
“Okay, then, should we talk to Mencken?” he asked. “See if we can deal?”
Vehement, Shiv said, “Uh, can I just say something? Mmh, no. Mencken is an integralist, nativist fuckhead. He’s toxic! He’s fucking—he’s ‘medicare for all, abortions for none.’ And his idea of diplomacy is shooting roe deer with Viktor Orban and then starting the trade war with China! Look, I know that there’s the carnival bark, and there’s the fucking show, but he’s outside the American political tradition. I think we have a responsibility as Waystar—”
She was cut off when Roman began humming the national anthem.
“Fuck you, Roman!” she spat out.
You put a hand on his arm, and he stopped humming. “I know my opinion here means little to nothing, but… I don’t like Mencken. He’s radical, and he’s dangerous. I’m not saying we swing blue, either. I’m saying we stay safe with Boyer. Our position right now is… precarious. It’s the best option we have.”
Logan studied you, and nodded twice. He was never one for safe options, though. You knew that full and well.
Both Roman and Shiv burst into an argument then, lobbing insults back and forth at each other. Tom stared blankly at the ground, looking even more exhausted than he usually did.
“Stop being a dirty little pixie whispering swastikas into Dad’s ear!” Shiv ground out.
“Boom! There you go again! So fucking route one!” Roman exclaimed. 
The scowl on her face deepened. “I’m not saying it’s going to be the full Third Reich, but I am genuinely concerned that we could slide into a fucking Russian Berlusconied Brazilian fuckpile!”
Raising his brows, Roman shot back, “You have a trophy husband and several fur coats. I think you’re gonna be fine.”
“Tom,” Logan said, seemingly unaffected by the harsh bickering. “Who do you like?”
“Me? I, uh… I think Shiv talks a lot of sense. I also jibe with Salgado.”
Blowing out a breath, Roman said, “You jibe with him? Pretty sure that’s racist, Tom.”
“Salgado is another safe alternative,” you said. “Just not… not Mencken.”
This made Roman nudge his elbow into you. “I thought you were all about giving people chances! Mencken, he’s… you and him have a lot of beliefs in common, actually!”
“Oh? And what’s that?” 
“You’re, uh, both against free-market capitalism! That counts for something, right? Why don’t you just give him a chance?” 
You pinched the space between your brows. “Rome—”
Before you had a chance to finish, Roman was addressing Logan. “Dad, I know you came to the market to get a nice milk cow, but we found ourselves a fucking T-rex, okay? He’s box-office. The guy is fucking diesel. I mean, he’s good on camera. He’s fun! He’ll fight. Viewers will eat out of his hand. No downside.”
“Uh, right, no downside. Let’s just invade Poland, Dad!” Shiv scoffed. “His chief of staff broke a kid’s jaw at a rally!”
“If we don’t come to an accommodation, we get outflanked and we lose the ATN dollar machine when we need cash to fight Tech. Right? Shiv wants her way, I want my way, Connor wants his way, so that’s even.”
Vehemently, Shiv protested, “It’s not fucking even! My opinion counts for more!”
Everyone looked to her, miffed. She sounded more like a child than anything. 
“No, it does! It just fucking does! I know this! People hate Mencken. They fucking hate that guy!” Shiv lowered her voice, as if just realizing that she was yelling a notch too loud. “You have to look at the climate.”
 From the windows, Greg raised a hand. “Do I—do I get a vote?”
“Oh, sure, buddy. You get to vote at the election with all the other folks,” Roman told his cousin, humorously.
“Yeah, well, I just thought I’d get a… bigger vote in here?”
Ignoring him, Hugo said, “Boyer is likely to be flexible over the DOJ.”
“Not if he doesn’t win,” Shiv said. “Which… he won’t.”
“Isn’t that what you want?” you sighed. “You’re blue, Shiv.”
“My personal politics and the company’s values are on opposite ends of the spectrum,” she clarified. “I have to put the company before myself.”
“Okay, we’re hearing rumors that the case is weakening,” Hugo said. “No one big is likely to do jail time. With the notable exception of Tom, of course. Sorry, Tom.”
Visibly, Tom’s shoulders seemed to stiffen, but he nodded nonetheless. “No, please, Hugo… understood.”
Shiv turned to address her father again. “If you don’t go blue, Dad, then at least we have to be backing Salgado.”
This made Connor audibly groan. “Ugh. Señor Dickless. Captain of the Tampa Bay Cuckaneers.”
“Look, I don’t like him. He’s a neocon pretending to be a paleocon, but he at least talks base!” Shiv said. 
Roman clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Wow. I think you’re so brave for picking the brown man. I think that we should get you a medal! A special medal for white women who like brown men.”
“Wow, okay. You’re just being racist! You’re being racist now!” Shiv said, swinging her incredulous gaze from you to her father.
In a mocking tone, Roman said, “Oh, yeah, I’m a good girl! I pretend to care about people because nobody ever cares about me!”
“Hm. Roman, do you have anything you wanna tell Dad? A message from Mom, maybe?”
He recoiled, frowning. “Uh, yeah, wow. Fuck you! Thanks, I do.” Roman looked to his dad, and he could feel the familiar fear creeping up and seizing his ribcage. It helped that you’d shifted your hand to lay over his, but only barely. “Mom’s getting remarried.”
Logan nodded, contemplative. “Hm. To Bertie Woofter?”
“Ooh, no. To Peter. Peter, uh, Peter Munson.”
“Munion,” you whispered.
“Peter Munion,” Roman corrected. 
Anger clouded over Logan’s eyes. “You’re fucking kidding. The seat sniffer? Christ. He’s been hanging around for forty-some years!”
“Yeah, and, well, she’d love it if you came to their big Tuscan wedding.”
“Ooh, La-di-da,” Logan said, sucking in a deep breath. “And they sent you as their messenger boy?”
He laughed and laughed. Roman shrugged.
“Okay,” the old man finally said. “Back to it, then. Who are we picking?”
“I guess there are other names,” Hugo offered. Connor coughed pointedly into his fist, but nobody paid him any mind.
Firm, Logan said, “We have to be united on this. It’s a disaster if we splinter.”
“Salgado has great narrative,” Shiv said.
Scowling, Roman spat out, “Quit butt-huffing Salgado! We all supported your little DC lemonade stand, but this is the real fucking world. This actually matters.”
Lip curled, Shiv replied, voice dripping with venom, “Roman, you just love the boot because you like to be kicked by it.”
Clearly hurt, Roman sucked in a deep breath and picked a piece of lint off his pants.
Connor coughed again, and Logan finally asked him what was on his mind.
“Nothing,” the eldest son said. “No, it’s nothing.”
As if to entertain a ludicrous notion, Logan smiled. “What about Connor?”
“I do believe that idea has good promise,” Connor exclaimed. “I do!”
“I could see it,” Logan said. It was strange seeing him smile in such a way. You couldn’t quite decipher its genuinity. “Kids?”
With a slight snicker, Roman raised his brows. “Uhm… sure, I don’t know.” After a pause, he straightened and asked in a more serious tone, “Wait, but, like—really?”
“It feels very…” You winced, sending Connor an apologetic look. “Very nepo baby? Very rigged.”
Roman shrugged. “They’re all fucking weirdos, anyway. Why not?”
“I mean, he’s a good-looking kid,” Logan said. “He’s smart… in his own way. Fucking Joe Kennedy did it for his boys, no? So let’s get him in there with a smile and a shoeshine and get Ron and everyone behind him.”
No way the matter was settled. Shiv crossed her arms, eyes darting every which way in an incredulous manner. 
“I would fight so fuckin’ hard for this family, Pop,” Connor told his dad, warmth spilling over his features. 
Logan casted his gaze over to his daughter. “Siobhan. As a political consultant… what do you think?”
“Well, no huge name ID, but the family name will be a factor and… uh, he’s got no track record.”
“Nothing to beat me with,” Connor emphasized with a charming grin. “I’m a clean skin!”
They yammered on some more, and Roman rubbed his knuckles along his hairline, seeming stressed. He pulled out his phone and shot out a few texts really quickly, thumbs flying across the keyboard.
Finally, once he put the device away, Roman shook his head. “Okay, but, are we being serious about this? We’re talking about trying to make Connor president?”
All the warmth drained from Connor’s face, replaced by a marring frown. “It’s a big tent, Roman. Why don’t you just come in?”
“Sure. Right. I might just call the guy who waxes my balls, he would be a great president, don’t you think?” Roman retorted.
Shiv interjected once more. “If we’re talking about this seriously, I really think we need to take a look at Salgado. Can I bring him up here without being fucking shot?”
Connor rolled his eyes and Roman groaned.
Finally, Logan’s eyes landed on you.
“You’re for Boyer, Y/N?”
You sat up straighter. “I think he’s safe. Most conservatives like safe. Or, at least, the illusion of safety. Boyer can give them that.”
There was a second of a pause, before Logan nodded. “Hugo. Call Boyer.”
“Well, if Shiv gets to bring up soggy Salgado then I wanna see if we can tame Mencken, okay?” Roman asked just as Hugo handed Logan the phone. In a quieter voice, Roman leaned forward to whisper to just you, “I arranged a meeting with him tonight. Come with?”
You reared back, eyes narrowing. “What? No, Roman.”
“Please? Just… you don’t even have to say anything. Just hear him out. What if he’s not all that bad?”
You blew out a steely breath. Meeting with a fascist was certainly not something you ever thought you’d agree to do. 
Begrudging, you muttered, “Fine. But please, Roman, don’t be serious about him. I’m begging you.”
Roman gave you a half-shrug, which didn’t quell any worries you had one bit. “We’ll just see how the dice rolls.”
When Boyer finally picked up the phone, the two of you lapsed into silence, listening in on the conversation. His voice was groggy, as if he’d just been woken up. He didn’t sound too happy at Logan’s request to come to the room.
“Oh… and my fridge is empty, Dave. I don’t suppose you could bring me a Coke?” Logan said. You raised a brow in surprise whilst Roman smiled down at his lap. It was a power play—a reminder to Boyer that he ate out of Logan’s palms.
“Did you mean to call room service?” the vice’s voice crackled through.
“If you don’t have a Coke, is there something else? Could you, perhaps, fire the deputy attorney general?”
“Fire the deputy attorney general?” Boyer parroted, twinged with disbelief. 
Logan smiled, laughing. “I’m kidding. Come on over. Have a chat. If it’s convenient, of course.”
Five minutes later, Boyer was at the suite’s door. You had no time to listen to his talk with Logan, because Roman was already up and pulling you out the door. He spared no explanation to Shiv, who watched the two of you leave with suspicious eyes. 
You took the elevator a floor down, where Mencken’s room was. 
Roman was the one that knocked, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet anxiously. 
“Come in!” you faintly heard Mencken’s voice say. Both you and Roman exchanged looks, yours warning and his pleading, in a sense.
He wanted so badly for your approval.
The two of you stepped in, met with an empty hotel room. It took you another moment to realize that the bathroom door was ajar, Mencken standing in front of the mirror with just a towel hanging over his hips, shaving foam shadowing over his chin and jaw. He was dragging a razor through the white foam, a smile to his lips upon seeing the both of you.
“Hey, guys. Glad to see you again.”
Roman smiled back, leaning against the bathroom’s door frame while you lingered behind him.
“So… I—we just wanted to chit-chat a little bit. That was funny earlier, by the way. You tripping the light fantastic on Grandpappy’s nutsack.”
Mencken hummed. “When I called your dad bullshit? Did that bump?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve never seen that before. That was fucking hardcore,” Roman commented. “Y/N isn’t a fan of ATN either, as it turns out.”
For a moment, you sent Roman a half-hearted glare. He’d said that you wouldn’t have to say anything.
“Ooh. Waystar’s princess, not liking Waystar? How meaty.” Mencken tilted his head back to shave the nooks and crannies that were harder to maneuver around. “Good for you, though. The thing is… this monkey don’t dance.”
Roman laughed, pointing at him. “This monkey right here? The monkey shaving in a hotel bathroom?”
“That’s right.” Finally, Mencken rinsed off the last bits of foam from his face, wiping off the excess dampness with a towel. There wasn’t a single nick on his face—you thought of the many times you’ve watched Roman shaved, when he always somehow managed to garner a dozen or so tiny cuts along his jaw. Mencken turned to face the two of you. 
“Listen, I did want to talk to you about something. Fuck it, I’ll just come right out and say it.” Roman eased into the bathroom, leaning against the wall opposite Mencken, tugging you in as well. It was a strange feeling—you’d never had a meeting in a bathroom before. Wrinkling his nose, Roman said, “Fascists are kind of cool… but not really. So, is that, like, gonna be a problem? Will it be a thing?”
It unnerved you when Mencken sighed, stepping closer to the both of you. So close, in fact, that you could smell the shaving cream he’d used. Your brows furrowed in distaste and fixed your stare on the tile down below your feet.
“Seriously? Me? I just… I don’t have a lot of boundaries.” 
Evidently, you wanted to snap. But you kept quiet.
“St. Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, Schumacher. I’ll borrow from anyone. To restrict me to that label is just… it’s not right, is it? You know, if Franco or H or Travis Bickle had a good pitch, fuck it!”
This made you tear your gaze away from the ground, meeting Mencken’s stare head-on. He was much closer that you realized, and that made you all the more uncomfortable. 
“H?” you finally croaked. “As in—?”
He spared you a wolfish smile. “I’m a fully-fledged, small-dicked Democrat.”
“I don’t think you are,” you challenged. 
This made him tilt his head and bark out a laugh. “Which one? Small-dicked or a Democrat? Because I can tell you now that neither of those are true, sweetheart.” Your unamused countenance seemed to only fuel him further. “A well-regulated election is a transmission frequency for God’s grace, really.”
“Holy shit,” Roman whistled. “You really are a Christian, aren’t you?”
“Well, no, no, my only thing is like—who’s the stakeholder, right? I’ve been tending my little garden for a hundred years, and then forty new guys show up in the back of a truck, playing their boombox. When it’s put to a vote, they decide to, uh, give my farm to themselves. I mean, it’s ridiculous, right? Maybe we should be putting in before we get to take out.”
There was so much to pick apart with his ideology. So many flaws, so many weak-links. But you didn’t say anything.
Instead, Roman asked, “Okay, well, who gets to join?” 
“People trust people who look like them. That’s just a scientific fact. They will give more tax dollars to help them,” Mencken said. “And I know you look nothing like me, ma’am, so I’ll just say it plain and clear. I don’t trust you, and you don’t trust me. But that’s just part of the thrill, no?”
You recoiled back into Roman. “What the fuck are you talking about? What thrill? Can you just—back up a bit? You’re all up in my fucking personal space.” 
Your scowl loosened just a tad when Mencken raised his hands and took a step back. He snorted. “Sorry. Don’t cancel me. Or do. I don’t think it matters much, right?”
He was right, but you didn’t say it.
“I like this country,” Mencken admitted. “I do. I like the people in it.”
“Not all the people, though, right?” you carefully asked.
“Of course, not. And don’t get all high and mighty on me. You can’t say you like all the people in it, now can you?” You opened your mouth to say something, but he cut you off. “We aren’t too different, you and I. Roman… I see why he’s taken a liking to you. You have some sense about you.”
You gave Roman a questioning glance, wondering what on earth he’d said to Mencken through text.
You clenched your jaw. “I’m not here for you,” you finally breathed out. “You can’t sway me, Mencken.”
“Oh, we’ll see about that, sweetheart.”
Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Roman finally intervened before you could get too heated, “In terms of, you know, this thing we have… there’s a thing here, right?” 
“Mhm.”
“I get it. You’re fucking 6G and we’re Betamax, but you need us, I think. Our news, our viewers, those fucking almost-deads. That’s a big slice of pie,” Roman explained. 
“Well, if I’m the nominee… are any of them really going to vote against me?” he asked.
Half a shrug lifting one of his shoulders, Rome said, “No, but… it’s going to be a fucking shitshow going into the convention. I think you could really use our push.”
You weren’t happy about any of this. But Logan had already called Boyer. The deal was done, right? You’d walk back up to the suite, and the next red-wing electee would be picked. This was all… for nothing.
Right?
Mencken nodded. “And I think you could use my push.”
“Maybe,” Roman admitted.
“Where are you in all this?” Mencken asked Roman, curiously. “What’s the little forgotten Prince doing?”
Roman made a nervous, whooshing sound. “I’m, uh, you know. I’m creeping on the come-up.”
“Oh, yeah?” Mencken glanced at you, as if to decipher whether or not he was telling the truth. You betrayed nothing, looking back down at the tiles.
“I’ve got some ideas for ATN. Sluice out the fucking porridge and add some sriracha. Poach some of those TikTok psychos, you know? E-girls with fucking guns and Juul pods. Give me some straight-shot blacks and latinos. That’ll get a few generations turning heads. No more of this fucking… pillows and bedpans. We’re strictly bone broth and dick pills. Deep state conspiracy hour but with, like, a fucking wink, you know? It’ll be funny.” Roman clapped his hands together. “The whole show is kinda set up for the star. President Jeryd Mencken.”
Your face soured.
“I like that,” Mencken said, stroking his freshly-shaved jaw. “I like that a lot.”
“Well, I don’t. Good fucking luck, Roman.” With that, you straightened your shoulders and marched out of the bathroom, needing to get away from the two of them. You needed air. More importantly, you needed to get up to the suite and ask if they’d settled for Boyer.
The two men stood in the bathroom, silent for a few moments.
“I think she likes me.” Mencken smirked.
Roman scratched at the back of his head. He was really hoping you’d see the better side of Mencken, like he did. He just hoped that you weren’t too angry with him. You hardly ever got mad, but when you did, it always felt like the end of the world to him.
“Right… can you, uh… come up and say hello or something to him? My dad?” Roman glanced at the door. “Oh, and bring a can of Coke with you.”
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Logan chose Mencken.
That night, you crawled into the cold hotel bed and cried. You felt so… so trapped in a life that you didn’t want to live. You briefly wondered what would happen to you if you quit your job entirely, but you pushed the thought away almost as quickly as it came. It wasn’t something you liked to entertain.
Half an hour later, you could hear your door opening. 
Right. You’d forgotten that Roman had asked for another set of the key card to your room. You quietly wiped your tears away, grateful that it was too dark for him to see.
He slipped in behind you, sliding his arms over your waist and pressing his nose into the back of your neck. 
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
You chose not to reply, pretending to be asleep.
“It’ll be good,” he said, eventually. “He’ll be good. I promise. His dick is big enough for the both of us.”
You shifted your foot just a bit, but that was enough for Roman to know that you were awake.
“Stop ignoring me.”
“I don’t want you here,” you murmured.
There was a shuffle behind you. Roman cleared his throat. It was so unbearably tense.
“If it’s Mencken you’re worried about—”
“I don’t want you here,” you repeated, a warbling edge to your voice. “I love you, Roman. Please leave.”
He went stiff. One second, then two, then three. 
“I love you, too,” he finally said. It was said with no joking tone, no playful quips, no inappropriate remarks. It wasn’t often that Roman told you that he loved you, at least compared to the number of times you’d say it to him. Maybe it was because he never knew if you meant I love you, or I’m in love with you.
And with that, he slowly slipped his hands off of you, and got back onto his feet. He made a show of leaving the key card on the nightstand, before making his way out of your hotel room.
He shut the door behind him, standing in front for a minute. A part of him wanted you to open up and beg him to come back. An even more delusional part of him expected you to do so.
Instead, Roman could hear your muffled sobs ricochet from behind the door. Something within him seized up. He turned on his heel and left.
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Kendall had invited you to his birthday party, to your surprise. After all that transpired between the two of you, you hardly expected to be wanted at his party. Though, from what you heard, it was hardly a personal affair.
It didn’t seem like your kind of event, honestly, and you hardly had a reason to go. You loved Kendall, but you could tell him that any other day of the year, when he wasn’t surrounded by fucking vagina-entrances, childhood treehouse replicas, and miniature Wu-Tang dancers. Though, Kendall told you to keep that last bit on the down low. The dancers were meant to be a surprise.
But you weren’t at all planning on going. 
That was, until Logan decided otherwise for you.
There was a problem with GoJo, and Logan was pissed that Matsson hadn’t shown up. Something about blatant disrespect, he’d said. 
“He’s going to this fucking party, isn’t he?” Logan had barked. “Huh? Where is he? Getting his nails done? Asshole whitened?”
Roman squinted at his dad. “I think we just have to court him a little, is the thing—”
“Bah. No. It’s bad fucking juju to start like this,” Logan snippily said.
You quirked a brow, knowing Logan was never one to be superstitious. 
Shiv and Roman both tried to broach more options, but Logan shut them all down. “The deal makes sense. It’s a great deal. But he won’t make the deal because he’s being an arrogant prick.”
“Fine. Yeah, sure, Matsson’s an asshole. But should we really burn our only parachute because of that?” Shiv stressed.
Logan leaned back in his seat, regarding his daughter. “It’s just smart business, Shiv. I don’t want to pay over the odds. And eventually, the market will make him make the deal.”
You shook your head. “The market has plenty of better hands to deal him.”
“Someone can make a better offer, and we’d be screwed,” Roman agreed. 
“Dad, we have a scale issue. Our streaming platform is for shit, and we have nothing that looks like growth,” Shiv added on. “This gets us consequently into streaming, into sports betting—social media! We have a little window. Miss this, and we end up being pilot fish nibbling leftovers from Bezos’ fucking teeth. Dad, please. If you don’t want to talk to Matsson, fine. But let me.”
“Let us,” Roman interjected. “We can all do it. He’s gonna be at the party, right? We’ll go.”
“You’re going?” Logan asked, raising an eyebrow at Shiv.
Her eyes darted from her father to her brother. “Mhm.”
Heaving out a breath, Logan nodded. “Y/N, you go with them. Don’t go in too strong. This is a black box, and I don’t want to overpay.”
You wondered if Logan wanted you there to help broker the deal, or if he wanted you there to make sure Roman and Shiv didn’t start clawing at each other’s throats.
Shiv nodded, muttering something under her breath, and darted out of Logan’s office to make some preparations. That just left you and Roman standing in front of Logan. The air between the two of you was still tense since the whole Mencken debacle.
You were about to step out as well, before Logan said, “Since you two are going, might as well give him this in person.”
He slid over an envelope. The three of you, along with Gerri, had discussed its contents: an offer for Kendall to cash out of the company for good. Roman glanced at you, and you used your head to gesture for him to take it. 
“You think he’ll like it?” Roman asked his dad, who offered him half a smile and a shrug.
When he turned to look at you, the glass door was ajar and the spot where you were standing a moment ago was vacant.
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Roman’s palms were sweaty. This was about the fifth time he’d wiped them down the front of his suit’s pants, hoping they’d just air out on their own by the time he got to your door.
They didn’t, but Roman found himself shrugging it off. You’d seen much worse than sweaty palms when it came to him.
It was an hour before the party was supposed to start—more so if he wanted to be fashionably late, didn’t want to seem too desperate—and he rang the bell.
It’d only been a few days since the two of you properly spoke, but Roman missed you. He found his nights staring at your number, thumb hovering over the call button. He’d sent about a dozen texts since then, but none of them were replied to. Sure, the two of you had gotten into fights every now and then but they never lasted long. 
And Roman was determined to get you to stop ignoring him.
When the door swung open, you peeked through, not at all ready yet for the party. Roman snickered upon seeing your eyeshadow only done on one eye, curlers in your hair.
“Looking hot, fuck-face,” he whistled. To his relief, your features softened, and you stepped to the side to let him amble in. Even in your current disheveled state, you knew he was telling the truth.
In truth, you’d missed him more than you could ever admit. It took a great deal of self-restraint not to reply to his strings of texts, especially once you were given time to cool off after what had transpired in the hotel bathroom. He was your Achilles’ heel, in a way.
“What do you want?” you asked, not even bothering to face him as you shut the door and made your way further into your home, standing in front of your mirror vanity to resume doing your makeup. 
Roman watched your reflection in a near somber manner. “Well, I was just thinking, since we’re going to Kendall’s little birthday bash, we could go togeth—”
“No,” you found yourself saying without a second thought. “I can go myself.”
With a sigh, Roman stepped forward, leaning against your vanity so he could look at you instead of your reflection. “I just want to talk. This—whatever’s going on between us—it fucking sucks. I miss you.”
For a second, you let your eyes meet his. You didn’t say anything, simply carrying on with drawing your eyeliner. 
“You’re not gonna say you miss me, too?”
“Of course I missed you, Rome.” There was a sort of bitterness to your words. “That doesn’t make me any less mad at you.”
“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I went down the Mencken road. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. But, cross my heart and hope to die, I genuinely believe he can help us. And, like, what’s the worst he can do? Just because he becomes president doesn’t mean he can do fuck all. I’m just with him because we’d all benefit from him helping out the company.” He scratched the back of his head whilst giving you, as he would so eloquently put it, fucky eyes. 
There was a long stretch of pregnant silence. You’d finally put down the eyeliner, shifting to stand directly in front of him, your chest brushing against his. 
“What can I do?” he whispered. He couldn’t help it—his eyes were fixed on your lips, parted and glossed. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
You smelled so damn good too—Roman felt like he was going delirious. He chalked it up to not being around you for a long while. That was probably why. His hands reached out to rest over your hips. 
“Not much you can do now. What’s done is done. Your dad settled on Mencken—there’s no changing his mind.” You tilted your head, so close now that your nose was brushing against his. He briefly wondered if you could feel the way his heart was slamming imprints against his ribs. 
You were just a hair’s breadth away from kissing him. You were so fucking close—
Until you pulled away with a smug little grin, far enough so that his hands fell away from you, going right back to fixing up your makeup. “I can look past Mencken for now. Mostly because I can’t see someone like him actually winning the election. But I’m absolutely not saying that I’m with you on this. I’m just saying we can put aside our… differences. If he just so happens to win, I’m counting on you to have your hand up his ass, and my hand would be up yours. So we’re good, for now.” 
“You fucking tease,” he grumbled, chuckling slightly. “What was that about your hand up my ass?”
“Awh,” you said in a mocking tone, one of your feet kicking up to knock against his shin. “Did you manage to get a hard on without me even touching you?”
Roman rolled his eyes. “Fuck off. And no.”
He was lying. He definitely had an erection, and the both of you knew it.
“Did you want me to kiss you?” you asked abruptly, starting to pull out the curlers in your hair.
His mouth went slack. His mind was moving too fast for him to formulate any coherent sentences. Instead, he laughed a bit, before it tapered away awkwardly.
“Yeah?” he finally replied, more of a question than anything.
“You don’t sound sure.”
“I’m sure,” he haughtily replied.
“Okay,” you said, though you didn’t look convinced. Another roller came out. 
“Don’t believe me?” Roman placed his hands over your hips once more, and yanked you close. “I’ll kiss you right here, right now.”
A brilliant smile danced across your features. “That a promise, Romey?”
With that, Roman leaned forward and slotted his lips over yours. It was tentative and soft and—surprisingly sticky. Your lip gloss, he registered a second later, tasted like strawberries and honey. A content hum slipped from you and you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back with just as much vigor. Your nose slanted against his, foreheads knocking together. 
You were the one to pull away first, laughing lightly at his hooded eyes and the way he chased after your lips. A second bout of laughter overtook you when you saw the glossy, tinted smudges across his mouth. 
Shoulders still shaking, you pulled out a makeup wipe and handed it over to him, silently gesturing to his lips. 
“The color doesn’t suit you,” you rasped, though you kissed his cheek to leave a faint mark there, as well. “That’s a first for us, you know?”
“What?”
“Kissing.”
Roman looked at you strangely as he wiped away the remnants of your gloss. “We’ve kissed millions of times. Mostly you, because you’re obsessed with me.”
“Yeah, but… not like that. Mouth to mouth. It was always a line I didn’t wanna cross, you know?”
He toyed with a brush laying on your vanity. “Why not?” he asked, his voice sounding a bit more unsure. “You afraid I’m gonna give you cooties?”
“Well, because we’re…” You paused, gesturing between the two of you. “We’re friends. With occasional benefits, I guess. I didn’t know if you were okay with it.”
Lifting a shoulder, Roman offered you a smile. Friends didn’t sit quite right with him. Not anymore, at least. “Well now you know. You can kiss me all you want.”
You huffed in amusement, before pulling out the rest of the rollers in your hair. All you had left to do was put on your outfit, and you were good to go. You wondered if Kendall would be happy seeing his siblings at his party, when you knew for a fact that he hadn’t invited them.
“I’m gonna go change. You want me to help you out with that?” You looked down at his tented pants with a raised brow. “No blow jobs, though. Don’t wanna ruin my makeup.”
This time, Roman was the one that laughed, loud and chesty. He sucked on his teeth, as if debating his options. 
“How much time do we have?” he asked.
You glanced over at a small clock hanging on the opposite side of the room. “We’ve got forty-five minutes, maybe? If we wanna get there before Matsson gets bored and leaves.”
Roman clapped his hands together. “Great! More than enough time.” 
The two of you ended up fooling around for a bit longer than you’d anticipated—he’d humped your ass with you bent over your couch, then finished by jacking off onto your back. You were grateful that you hadn’t yet changed into your outfit for the party, having stayed in a comfortable white shirt that you shucked off and threw into the laundry bin.
To your surprise, he seemed earnest enough to want to try fingering you, and you shyly told him to go for it if he wanted. A permanent flush fixed over your cheeks as you gently guided him to do what felt best. His thumb over your clit, his fingers sheathed deep in your cunt. He was good at it, mostly because he was clinging onto your every plea like it was gospel. You came with a drawn-out moan and your teeth sinking into his shoulder. 
You managed to squeeze in just one more handjob for him since he somehow got hard again while fingering you, whispering filthy nothings into his ear as he whined, eyes rolled into the back of his head. To your curious delight, you’d found that Roman really liked being called a good boy.
Only after all that did you manage to change into a semi-formal dress, touching up on your makeup since a lot of your lipstick had smudged onto Roman. In turn, Roman headed to the bathroom to wash up a bit, comb back his hair, some strands had come loose during your little excursions, and straightened out his suit.
“You ready?” you asked, peeking into the bathroom. The two of you were a bit later than you would’ve liked. “I want to make a stop at the corner store before the party.”
“What for?” he asked, curious.
“Last minute birthday gift,” you replied, hopping slightly as you strapped on your shoes. “Let’s go, Rome. You look hot, I promise.”
He smiled at your reflection, and took your outstretched hand. 
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Upon arriving at the large venue, the woman in front asked to take everybody’s coats and phones. To which, Roman told her, “Yeah, fuck off, I’m not doing that,” and walked right past her. 
You gave her an apologetic smile, shedding your coat and handed it to her. “Sorry, I can’t hand you my phone. Company policy.”
With that, you jogged to catch up to Roman, chatting with Connor, who had also chosen to cling on tightly to his coat. Beneath it, you saw that one of his arms was in a sling.
“Oh, Con, what happened?” you asked, waving hello to Willa.
“Nothing, nothing. Just ranch stuff,” the older man replied, nonchalant.
Roman snorted. “What, a horse didn’t want you to fuck it?”
“He had a fall,” Willa said, and Connor immediately protested.
“You make it sound like I’m ninety years old. No, Maxim and I just got some polling results. We shared a Cognac, and then I slipped doing a little Irish jig.”
“Oh, okay. Ranch stuff. Got it,” quipped Roman. 
You stopped in front of a tunnel-like entrance, the walls lined with soft pink. 
 “This feels disgustingly Kendall,” Shiv said, and the two of you laughed as you strolled in. “So… where’s Tabs, Rome? She busy?”
Arching a brow, you looked to Roman. You knew that his relationship with her had fizzled out, especially after the… corpse sex debacle.
“Yup,” Roman said, clearly not comfortable discussing it with her.
She grinned, snickering. “Again? Did you kill her?”
“We’re actually—we’re not really seeing each other anymore. She was just a bit boring. That’s all I’m saying,” Roman said. His eyes darted to you, and you offered him half a smile.
“Mmh, yeah. Because you find sexual intimacy boring, don’t you?” Shiv pressed, which made both you and Roman frown.
“As if you’re the catch,” Roman snapped back. “You’re more fucked up than me, you know! Seems like Y/N and I are nicer to each other than you are to your own husband.”
Shiv looked between the two of you, expression immediately souring. “You’re so fucking annoying,” she muttered, before turning to mutter something to Tom.
By the end of the pink tunnel, a woman dressed in a cartoonish nurse uniform greeted the group. “You’ve just been born into the world of Kendall Roy!” she announced.
“Oh, Jesus,” Shiv huffed.
Roman turned back to look at the pink tunnel. “Oh. So if we’ve just been born, then that must be mom’s…?” He shifted his weight back and forth by the exit. “You’re telling me I’m repeatedly entering my mom’s vagina right now?”
You snorted in amusement, nudging Shiv. “These your mom jokes just keep getting better.”
She hummed. “Cold and inhospitable. It seems to check out.”
“This is my mom’s cooch, just so you know,” Roman told the nurse. “And you’re implying that it’s massive, so, uh, might wanna get Kendall to see if you can tighten my mother’s vagina.”
The group shuffled off, leaving the poor nurse to gather her wits and greet the next few guests approaching. 
“Where’s Matsson, you think?” Shiv asked.
“Probably standing in a corner somewhere, monitoring his biometrics from his watch,” Roman scoffed. 
“Don’t you think we should find Kendall before trying to find Matsson?” you queried, looking around the crowded room in hopes of finding Kendall somewhere amidst the dancing throng. “I mean… it is his birthday party, after all.”
Nodding, Roman said, “Yeah, good thinking. Let’s just get it out of the way.”
Shiv managed to track down one of Kendall’s assistants, asking her where he’d be. She pointed up the stairs, where the VIP section was. Thanking her, the three of you made your way up the stairs whilst the rest of the group stayed down to mingle. 
The second floor was a bit less packed, but there were still dozens upon dozens of famous figures mingling about. It wasn’t hard to find Kendall amongst them, sticking out like a sore thumb with a birthday crown perched on his head, laughing with his girlfriend, Naomi Pierce, by his side. 
His eyes met his siblings’, and he scrambled to take the crown off, dropping it onto the nearest waiter’s tray. 
“Woah, woah, woah. Wait a second. Who let you guys in? This is friends only!” he exclaimed. 
Shiv made a pitying noise. “Awh. Shouldn’t it be empty, then?”
Roman cackled. “She beat me by one second.”
“Happy birthday, old man,” Shiv said, giving her older brother a sharp smile.
“Just to say, I’m only here because I heard there was going to be a five-dimensional catastrophe, and I want to watch you crash and burn,” Roman told him.
Features mellowing, Kendall stepped forward and spread his arms out wide to give Roman a hug, which he reciprocated with no complaint.
 However, he did have to squeeze in, “Man, it even feels like you’re old. You sure you’re only forty? You look like shit.”
Despite his harsh words, Kendall pulled away with a genuine smile. He was happy that his siblings were here, even if he hadn’t invited them.
He hugged you next, and you reached up to kiss his cheek with a smile. “Hey, Kenny D. Happy birthday—I brought you a little present.” You reached into the cheap plastic bag from the corner store, brandishing a strawberry popsicle, still in its wrapper. “It’s probably a bit melted but if you popped it into the freezer for ten minutes or so, it should be good as new. Sorry it’s not much.”
Kendall’s expression seemed to soften, recalling how the two of you would always argue over the last remaining strawberry popsicle during the summers you were still little children. When you would grab it from the freezer before he could, he’d tug on your pigtails and call you mean as you denied ever taking them, and you’d hide the wrappers in Rome’s room so he’d never know it was you. But he could always tell from the sticky red on the corners of your mouth and your sugar-highs that seemed to last for a little too long. 
“No, this is…” He took the popsicle from you, staring down at the wrapper. “This is perfect. Thank you. I really appreciate it, I do.”
You nodded, pointedly watching as he pocketed the popsicle. “No problem. I promise not to take this one from you.”
Kendall laughed, then looked to his brother and sister. “Really? No card? I’m disappointed.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t find one that said both ‘happy birthday’ and ‘get well soon’,” Shiv crooned. The smile on Kendall’s face faltered.
“Well, I’m glad you guys came. It says a lot,” he finally said.
“It was a ten minute drive,” Shiv deadpanned. 
A part of you wondered why Shiv was being particularly brutal today, especially on Kendall’s birthday. Nonetheless, the two of them awkwardly hugged, Shiv patting her brother’s back a few times.
Connor and Willa ascended the stairs a few seconds later, waving hello. They greeted the birthday boy with hugs, and the smile returned back to Kendall’s face, though it wasn’t quite the same as before.
“So, what do you guys think? Sick party, right?” Kendall asked, arms spread.
Squinting, Roman glanced back downstairs. “It’s cool, but, uh, did you ask for Mummy’s permission to use her, uh… squatch?”
Kendall shook his head a bit, seeming puzzled. “What, from, like, a copyright perspective?”
“Well, it’s just, you know—call me old-fashioned, but I think you should ask before constructing a giant replica of someone’s vagina,” Roman off-handedly said.
“I’d definitely want to be informed before someone decides to make an artistic rendition of my privates,” you chimed in agreement.
“Duly noted,” Roman said in a faux British accent, and the two of you giggled under your breath like schoolgirls.
Kendall, miffed, nodded a few times. “Yeah, okay. Yeah. I can—I can send mom an email. But, relax, will you? Yes, Roman, you can take it home with you.”
Roman pumped a fist into the air at that, and you both burst into another round of giddy laughter.
Rolling her eyes, Shiv said, “Okay, so, tell us. Who else is here?”
Kendall made a show of looking around at the dozens of famous celebrities loitering around the VIP section. “Who isn’t?”
“Your dad,” Roman said.
“Your mom,” Shiv told him.
“Your wife,” Connor added.
“Your kids?” you put forth, more as a question than anything. 
“Any real friends,” Roman chimed again.
With a smile, Shiv said, “I mean, business folks, sure. Stewy? Honestly, we could do with building some bridges. So, uh, Lawrence Yee? He here? Lukas Matsson?”
There it was. She name-dropped the golden goose.
“Yeah, yeah. They’re all here, somewhere,” Kendall assured, gesturing around vaguely. “I have something to show you guys, actually. Come on.”
The siblings and you followed him down a winding hallway, which gave way to black-out curtains, and past that, it seemed to be an art gallery of sorts.
“Hey, Dad wanted me to give this to you,” Roman said, handing Kendall the envelope. You eyed it warily, wondering how Kendall would react to the offer.
“What is it?” the older brother queried, shaking it lightly, as if expecting something inside to rattle.
A dismissive sort of smile fell over Roman’s face. “It’s, uh, an iTunes gift card and a couple of your baby teeth. It’s nice. We hope you like it.”
Kendall looked at you, silently asking for confirmation. You nodded, hesitant, but that seemed to satisfy him enough—he pocketed the envelope to open up for later. 
“Okay, guys, let me show you some shit. C’mon.” He beckoned everyone into the art gallery, before spewing into a long tangent about all the people he had to collaborate with in order for things to work out.
Instead of paintings and sculptures, which you’d typically see hung up in galleries, there were newspaper articles and headlines plastered over the walls. 
The Cincinnati Standard: Waystar Chairman, Kendall Roy Elected President of World Federation!
Boston Daily Express: Wife of Tom Wambsgans Arrested In Sweep of City Street-Walkers!
The Correspondent: Connor Roy Elected President [of shitting his bag]!
The NY Globe: Failed Youngest Roy Sibling Dies in Tragic Jerk-Off Accident!
Both you and Roman stopped to stand in front of his article. You shot him an amused glance. “Who were you jerking off to, do you think?”
“Don’t worry, fuck-face, there’s a lot of Roman to go around,” he said, leaning closer to read the smaller text.
Your grin grew wider, gesturing to the paper. “Not for long, according to this.”
“It’s not a bad way to go.” Roman bumped his shoulder into yours. “Yours is going to happen any day now, I can just feel it.” 
Your brows raised, and you turned around, surprised to see your own article plastered large and tall right beside Connor’s.
New York Journalist: Disgraced CEO’s Goddaughter Kicked Out of Company—Adopted Into Communist Parties!
“Wow,” you breathed out. It wasn’t all that bad, really. 
“You like it?” Kendall asked the two of you.
“You’ve got people in here picturing me jerking off, so who’s the real winner?” Roman sneered. 
Shaking your head, you told Kendall, “I can’t even imagine why you’d have an entire room dedicated to this at your birthday party.”
“It’s—it’s unique. An extrapolation into the near future,” he said. “People dig it.”
“You keep telling yourself that,” Roman replied, clapping his shoulder, before wandering off to read the other articles.
Connor threw a large fit about his article, unhappy with the way he was being portrayed as an unserious candidate.
“You did actually shit your bag, though,” Roman said. Kendall guffawed and the two brothers began laughing together, at Connor’s expense.
His scowl deepened. “Yeah, you know why? Because I took you two fucking assholes on a camping trip because Dad couldn’t be bothered! That’s why! I ate some bad fucking fish! This is bullshit, Kendall!” He yelled that last sentence, to which Kendall quickly reassured him that he’d have it taken down.
You remembered Roman telling you about the camping trip, the both of you only barely teenagers. It was harder then, being friends with them—boys were particularly mean at that age.
You remembered asking if you could come along. Kendall told you that it was a boys trip. Only boys were allowed, and you most certainly weren’t a boy. 
You remembered Roman asking if you could somehow fit into the cooler so he could sneak you on the trip. Even now, you weren't quite sure if he was just joking or if he was being serious. Nonetheless, you pushed him away and told him to have fun sleeping on rocks and eating stale jerky that tasted like dirt. When you sniffled, Connor put a hand on your shoulder and told you that there’d be many more camping trips in the future. To your knowledge, they never went again. 
“Alright, guys, I gotta circulate. Lots of people to talk to. We can check in later, yeah?” Kendall rubbed his hands together. You briefly realized that this was the first time you’d seen him genuinely happy in a long time.
“Yeah, yeah, you go on ahead,” Shiv said, urging him on.
“It’s a great night. I’m happy you guys are here. Fucking… best birthday ever.”
With that, Kendall hurried off. You and Roman exchanged glances, mirrors of pity and guilt.
Half an hour of asking around later, Shiv managed to snag down Matsson’s location in this never-ending venue of birthday bash.
“Don’t fuck this,” Shiv warned Roman, to which he rolled his eyes and gestured for her to lead the way.
The three of you traversed up a couple more flights of winding staircases, turning left into a massive hall, where a giant replica of a treehouse was erected, leading into what looked like another secret passageway. You narrowed your eyes, seeming to recognize the little carvings on the wood by the base of the tree. Younger Kendall often went into the yard whenever he was angry, whittling away his frustrations onto the bark. You and Roman used to play pretend that they were ancient runes when he wasn’t around to hear you.
“I think a forty year old man who rebuilt his childhood treehouse should immediately go on the sex offender registry,” Roman snidely commented, eyeing the massive structure. 
Two burly guards blocked the entry way.
“We’re with Kendall,” you said as you tried to sidestep them, but one thrust his arm out in front of you.
“Do you have a rainbow band?” he gruffed.
Roman guffawed. “Yes. I’m a walking fucking rainbow band.”
It was then that Kendall’s head emerged from behind the guards, eyebrows raised.
“Hey, guys. You done downstairs?”
“Mhm. These guys aren’t letting us in. Ain’t that crazy?” Roman asked pointedly. “Do you mind if we took a gander around your mental disorder?”
Kendall laughed, though it sounded forced. “Hah. Yeah, good one. That’s funny, Rome.”
“So are you gonna let us in, or what?” Shiv butted in, clearly impatient.
“That’s, uh…” Kendall smiled, almost apologetic, almost triumphant. “That’s not possible.”
You tilted your head, wondering if Kendall somehow found out that the three of you were after Matsson. “Not possible? Why’s that?”
“You hiding something from us in there, Ken?” Roman jeered. “Nude selfies you don’t feel comfortable with showing? The angsty romantic poetry you wrote when you were seventeen?”
A frown flickered across his face. “Well, okay, the thing is—the treehouse is for cool people, and you guys… you guys aren’t cool. Sorry, Y/N. You know, I would’ve given you a band if they weren’t here with you.”
“I’m flattered,” you said in a flat tone.
“Wow. The coolest grown man’s treehouse I’ve seen in quite a while,” Shiv snippily retorted, which made Roman snicker.
Holding his hands out in a placating manner, Kendall told the three of you, “Okay, no, seriously guys. Sorry, but, like… all jokes aside, there’s actually a real issue here, and I need to be discreet, because there’s a lot of celebrities around, and if you guys were in the treehouse, it would be kinda—kinda wouldn’t feel like the treehouse, y’know?”
Shiv scoffed.
“You’re a nazi lover,” Kendall deadpanned, pointing at his sister. He jutted his finger to Roman, then you. “And you’re a nazi lover. And you’re heavily affiliated with them. Me, on the other hand, I’m a defender of liberal democracy.” 
“Lovely. You afraid of getting canceled on Twitter, Kendall?” you asked, crossing your arms. You let the words spew out without really thinking over them. “Or are you scared to show all your ad-sponsored, money-grubbing buddies up there who kicked you to the ground and spat on your corpse? It’s not a good look, is it?”
Appearing crestfallen for a moment, Kendall shook his head. “You’re being—stop. I didn’t expect you to stoop down to their level, Y/N.”
“Jesus, are you going to let us in or not?” Roman huffed.
“What, to see Matsson?” Kendall finally asked.
There it was. He knew.
“That’s why you’re here. You’re trying to push a deal,” he muttered. 
“Who fucking gives a shit?” Roman asked. “What’s the difference to you? I just want to talk to him.”
Shiv nodded. “You know what’ll happen if we do talk to him? Either we strike out with nothing, or we succeed, Waystar benefits, and your net worth goes up by several hundred million dollars.”
“You’re welcome,” retorted Roman.
“Okay, yeah, but I have to weigh that against the consideration that no losers allowed,” Kendall said, shrugging.
“God, you’re such a fucking child.” You rolled your eyes, the two other siblings following suit.
Trying to step up again, Roman said, “I’m going in. This is fucking stupid.”
Kendall grabbed at his brother’s shoulder, pulling him back, and turning him around to face away from the treehouse.
“Oh, my God. Did you see that? I just got moved.” 
Roman tried again, and the two got into a catty, near indiscernible argument. Kendall pushed, and Roman stepped back, before leaning in again. 
“You really gonna get so worked up over a treehouse?” Kendall hissed. “That’s fucking lame, man.” 
Finally, Roman stepped away, his shoulder bumping into yours. “Fuck. Wow.”
“Don’t let these guys in. This is my treehouse, and they shouldn’t be here,” Kendall warned the guards, before slipping between them, making his way back into his treehouse. “Oh, and, thanks for the offer, guys. Great headfuck from Dad. Really fucking cool of you.”
You thought the buyout would be good for him. A naive part of you had even thought that he’d simply accept it with no complaint. Lord knew it was more than enough money to sustain him several lifetimes.
“Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable,” Roman groaned. “Now what?”
Curious, Shiv looked over at the two of you. “What was Ken talking about? What offer?”
You and Roman exchanged looks. “That was nothing,” Roman dismissively replied, shrugging. “It was just a little move to ease him out of the holding company.”
“What? And—you two didn’t think to tell me?” she just about snarled, brows drawing together.
“It’s just an offer, Shiv. You would’ve found out eventually,” you sighed, rubbing the spot between your brows, the beginnings of a headache starting to fight through. 
“Whose name was on the paper?” she asked, head tilted.
“Mine,” Roman sighed. “It’s just a name, though. It’s nothing.”
“Okay, so why wasn’t I the name if it was fucking nothing?” she demanded. “Historically, who owns the fucking company has been of some interest. It’s not nothing.”
Tired of the conversation, Roman told her, “We handled it. You wanna figure out the financing, or something? It’s all there.”
A muscle in her jaw twitched. “Yeah, that’s fucking great. You guys are so adorable. Fuck you. Fuck this.” 
She stormed off, heels clanging loudly against the staircases’ steps.
A few seconds of silence lapsed by before you reached out to take Roman’s arm. “You ready to go steal some rainbow bands?”
He used his free hand to cup your face and tug you closer, landing a loud, obnoxious kiss onto your cheek. 
“I fucking love us,” he hummed.
The two of you began to walk around, eyeing all the guests who happened to have bracelets on. 
“I do, too, Rome. I do, too.”
Eventually, the two of you managed to snag down a handsy couple who looked much too busy sucking off each others’ faces to care about their stupid rainbow bands. They handed it to you two with no question and you thanked them with a smile whilst Roman snidely told them to use protection. He was one to talk, really.
The guards also gave the two of you a lot of trouble, but after a bit of charm from your end and a bit of light threatening from Roman’s end, the two of you were finally in the damned treehouse.
“I’m scared we’re going to see detailed exhibits of Kendall’s sex life up there,” you uneasily said. 
“Nah, I think I just saw Anne Hathaway passing by. No way Kendall would embarrass himself like that around this crowd,” Roman snorted. After a second, he tacked on, “But I wouldn’t put it past him.”
Almost at once, your eyes landed on Matsson, huddled up in a dingy corner and playing a shoddy tapping game on his phone. He looked next to miserable, utterly bored out of his mind.
“Bingo,” you whispered, nudging Roman with a grin. 
Once the two of you approached him, his eyes didn’t even bother lifting from his screen. But his brows raised in acknowledgement upon hearing Roman’s voice.
“There you are, fucking hiding from us. You little sneak, you. Like a human VPN.” Roman took the seat adjacent to him, and you sat across from the two. “How you doing?”
A disgruntled noise fell from Matsson’s lips. “Eh. I’m alright. I’m just, uh… you know. You fill in the blanks.”
Your lips downturned slightly. You hadn’t spoken to Matsson personally before, but the two of you had gone to the same conferences before in the past—you were never overly fond of his character. Lazy, erratic, a pure dick-jerker. But you knew he was integral to hold up the company, so you swallowed any and all complaints you had about him.
“I hear you. Yeah. Fucking life, right?” Roman drawled in response, attempting and failing to mimic Matsson’s nonchalance.
“I just wanna find a good pussy and get out, you know?” Lukas muttered. For a brief moment, he looked away from his phone, to you. “You down?” he asked.
Rearing back in surprise, you briefly wondered if he was high on something. He probably was.
A nervous laugh slipped out of you, and you gave Roman a wide side-glare. “I’m not here to get laid.”
“Hm. Pity.” There was lust in his gaze, and you felt a wave of nausea roll over you.
To diffuse the tension, Roman quipped in a high voice, “Yeah, well—pussy’s great. Mhm. You see my mom’s at the front, there?”
Matsson snickered lowly. “Yeah. You seen my mom’s? It’s not… it’s not great.”
Roman laughed, and you begrudgingly cracked a smile at that, too.
“Wow. Yeah, sure, I’m not gonna delve too deep into that one.” Roman leaned forward. “Question—my old man got a little bit grumpy this morning, but you weren’t trying to humiliate him, right? I mean, fucking everyone says we’re the last big legacy content library, and you’re the last fucking super app streaming platform. We fit, obviously. Right?”
Finally, Matsson put his phone down to regard the two of you. He pulled a contemplative frown.
“People say we fit, yeah.”
You eyed Matsson warily, partially worried that he’d get bored of the two of you and go back to his phone. “You help prop us up, and we’ll turn GoJo into a gold mine. A tooth for a tooth.”
With guarded interest, Matsson sat up just a bit straighter. Instead of replying to you, he faced Roman and said, “She’s a bit… how do you get anything done with her around?”
An embarrassed, frustrated sort of flush heated your skin. It was beyond demeaning that he spoke to Roman as if you couldn’t hear everything he was saying. Was it because you were a woman? Because Matsson so clearly saw you as a piece of ass and nothing more?
Though Roman sent you an apologetic, slightly confused glance, he said, “Well, I don’t, really. But, uh, what are you thinking?”
Half of a shrug. “I mean, that’s great and everything, but I do have one small concern.”
“Yeah? And what’s that?” Roman asked.
“When will your father die?”
Roman’s brows flew up in shock. “When will… when will my father die?” he parroted, blinking himself out of his stupor. “Uh…”
The blonde man gestured vaguely towards him. “Like, I don’t wanna be rude, but—what kind of shape is he in? Are we talking less than a year or is it more like five years? ‘Cause if it’s five, that’s… that’s a long time. It would be better sooner, wouldn’t it?”
Roman broke out into a fit of laughter. A nervous habit, you knew.
“No, yeah, I’m laughing here, but, like—that is my dad, so, you know. Go easy there, tiger.”
Though you were well aware that Matsson clearly had a hard time speaking to you without getting a raging boner, you felt it important to voice, “Is Logan’s position on top a problem for you? For this deal?”
The corner of his lips twitched up when he spared you a look. “No, it’s just that I don’t like the idea of a man hanging over me. It’s not my world, media. Not my thing. But Logan’s death, it would… it would clear space.”
Clear space. How airily he threw about the term. A quick peek at Roman told you that he was just as uncomfortable as you were. He scratched the back of his head rather aggressively.
“Uh, I mean, we’re all obviously… hugely looking forward to my father dying,” Roman started, tapering off into a hum of forced laughter. “But, hear me out, there’d be another shape to this. How about you never ever have to speak to him? You could work out of Austin, Geneva, London, Stockholm, wherever. Totally separate corporate identities. And StarGo, we burn, obviously.”
This seemed to please Matsson immensely. It was no secret how shitty Waystar’s streaming platform was.
“Yes, yes. Please. Burn the codes and fucking acid bath those servers.”
Roman cracked a smile. “We can do that. We could do that together. I mean, GoJo, full bore. Our library, our firepower, our relationships for content. And, like, good shit. Not, like, gay moms and wheelchair kids liberal crap. Actual, popular, shit.”
A frown crossed your expression briefly. You never liked it when Roman got political. Nonetheless, you could see now that Lukas was listening intently to what the two of you had to offer. 
“You won’t have to communicate with Logan whatsoever. None of your decisions would be intercepted by him—it’d be filtered through Roman, if need be. And, you know, if it’s beneficial for you, it’d be beneficial for us,” you told him firmly whilst maintaining eye contact. You wanted him to know that you were more than capable of holding your own. 
It didn’t last long, however, because Matsson rolled his head back and blew out a sigh. “I hope you know that StarGo truly is a piece of shit.”
“It’s a huge piece of shit, yeah,” Roman agreed.
“I like to open it just to see how long it takes for the landing page to load,” Lukas said, lazily smiling. A quick glance in your direction, and he slapped at his knees. “Hey, Roman, you wanna go and take a piss on the app?”
A second’s pause. “What, like, literally?”
“Yeah.” Lukas got up to his feet.
Roman hastily stood as well, sending you an apprehensive look. “Yeah, okay, uh—” before he could finish, Matsson was already striding away. 
God. You already couldn’t stand that man.
“Go,” you told Roman. “He thinks I’m distracting. I know. I’ll be around. You just go land a meeting with him, okay? Keep him interested.”
“Okay. Yeah. Are you—? Yeah, okay. You’re great, y’know? So fucking great.” Roman squeezed your shoulder once, before he shoved his hands into his pockets and jogged after Matsson, who was already halfway to the men’s bathroom.
A heavy pit sank to the bottom of your stomach. Everybody was dancing around you, the music pounding so loudly you could feel the base vibrating the ground. There was a distinct sting to the very top of your nose—a telltale sign that you were upset, even though you were doing your very best to push it down. It was times like these you hated being a woman working in an industry made for and surrounded by men.
With pursed lips, you got up to leave the treehouse, feeling incredibly out of place in there.
And so you wove through the crowds, until you saw Kendall walking down a hall with Naomi, his shoulders tensed.
“Hey, Kendall?” you called out, quickening your pace to catch up with him.
“What do you want?” he asked, bitter. “You wanna ask for a condom so you can go fuck Matsson in my treehouse? Sorry, I don’t have one.”
He did—he always kept one in his wallet, but you didn’t need to know that.
“Yeah, no, Roman’s doing that already.” You fiddled with your hands and his eyes softened just a tad, drawing his own conclusions that you didn’t care to spell out. “Hey, uh, sorry, this is a really douche-y thing of me to ask, but… could I have the strawberry popsicle back?”
Dumbfounded, Kendall fixed you with an incredulous stare. “What?”
You cleared your throat nervously, feeling your nose begin to sting more. You weren’t quite sure if those were tears pricking your eyes, or if you were just tired. “I’ll get you another one, I promise.” 
The wrapper was still sticking out of his pocket. Melted, you knew for a fact, but you didn’t care. You wanted it, and you wanted it now.
“What? But this—this is my gift. You said you wouldn’t take this one.”
You were being an asshole. You knew it, and he knew it. “Kendall, just—just fucking give it over. It’s a popsicle! I can get you a million others after this.”
Then, you tried to reach for it, but Kendall sidestepped away from you, bumping into Naomi. 
“Yeah, but this one’s mine. You gave it to me. What is with you?” 
Your lip warbled as you inhaled sharply. “Please? I just—I really need it right now.”
There was a momentary pause as Kendall looked down at the wrapper sticking out of his pocket. In all honesty, he’d forgotten it was even there until you brought it up.
“No,” he finally said. “There’s refreshments and desserts all over this fucking place. You don’t need it.”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “Fuck you,” you eventually mustered, tears welling up over your waterline.
A large part of Kendall felt guilty, but he consciously took a step back away from you. “I have to go. My kids gave me a present. Rabbit wrapping. I gotta find it.”
“Eat a dick, Kendall.”
With that, he left.
You harshly wiped away any lingering dampness that spilled over your cheeks and hurried away. As you rushed to get to the bar, you caught sight of Shiv wildly dancing in the middle of the crowd, feet bare and hair tousled. 
It wasn’t long before Tom came to join you, seemingly in a glum mood himself. He was saying something about Greg and his new fixation on Kendall’s assistant, but you weren’t quite listening, merely nodding along at regular intervals.
About half an hour later, Roman finally appeared, grinning so wide it was a wonder his face didn’t split in two. By then, Shiv had joined you and Tom by the bar, breathless and cherry-cheeked.
“You okay?” Roman preened. “Onlookers reported you having some sort of breakdown. People were anxious that you might have swallowed your tongue.”
A frown crossed her lips. “I was dancing.”
“Hm. I heard it looked like a cry for help. That right, Y/N?” Roman casted a look in your direction, noting your glum atmosphere. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Before you could reply, Shiv shook her head. “Fuck you. Did you speak to Matsson?”
“I’m trying to console my friend here, Siobhan—”
“Did you speak to him?” she gritted out again, completely disregarding his initial rebuttal. 
Rolling his eyes, Roman leaned against the bar, his arm brushing yours. “Yup. I spoke to him.”
“And?”
“Don’t worry about it, Shivvy. I’ll handle it,” he snidely remarked. His arm pressed firmer up against yours. In a lowered voice, he asked, “You sure you’re good? You look all—mopey dopey over here.”
You didn’t quite know how to explain to him that you and Kendall had gotten into a tiff over a stupid popsicle, and you were sick of being reduced to the pretty woman men couldn’t take seriously. Even if you had vocalized all that, a large part of you doubted that Roman would understand any of it. He’d look at you all guilty and puppy-eyed, one of the few ways he tried to convey sympathy, and you’d kiss his cheek and tell him it was fine. That was usually how things went between the two of you, anyway.
“No, seriously, Roman,” Shiv just about growled. 
“I’m being serious,” he shot back, clearly growing agitated that Shiv just wouldn’t buzz off. And also because you weren’t talking to him, and the two of you knew well how terribly he coped with that. “I’ll talk to Dad and see if he wants to loop you in, okay?”
The aggravation written plainly over her features seemed to deepen. “Just fucking tell me! This is important, and I might need to finesse.”
“Oh, you need to finesse? That’s so kind of you to offer! But, uh, how would you finesse something that’s already done, exactly? By ruining it?” Roman jeered, crossing his arms. “Yeah, y’know what, I handled Matsson. I understand him. I’m not sure you do.”
You simply watched Shiv’s face cave in with unbridled frustration. In a way, you understood exactly how she was feeling. Though, you supposed you were more folded in than she was, given Roman’s trust in you.
“You know what, if you wanna show off to somebody, maybe show off to someone who gives a shit. Look—even Y/N doesn’t wanna hear about it!”
The two siblings looked at you, and you lifted a shoulder in a shrug.
“If you landed it, that’s all I care to know,” you gently told Roman.
A nod, and a hum. “It’s all good. Matsson peed on my phone, but we got it. And listen, Shiv, you’re having a very bad day, I know that. What with hearing that you have to continue sharing an apartment with the old meat wardrobe, but, you know—try to keep your wig on.”
There was a certain fire to Shiv’s eyes, darting between the two of you angrily. “I’m the one in a functioning relationship. You guys are fucked up emotionally and using each other as crutches to feel better about yourselves.”
Now that… that struck a nerve. She was right, you knew it, but you never liked facing your and Roman’s codependency head-on. It was an uncomfortable truth that the two of you were quite comfortable not dwelling on.
“Oh, really?” Roman retorted. “I thought you were thinking about all the dick you were gonna ride while he was behind bars? Hm?”
“Oh, my fucking God,” Shiv hissed in incredulous disbelief. “You know what? Nobody likes talking about me fucking guys as much as you do. Why is that? Is that because you’re the COO who can’t fuck?”
This seemed to stun Roman into silence. His eyes flickered over to your silent form, staring down at your half-empty drink. Shiv caught the way he looked over at you, a cruel scoff hitching in her throat.
“Huh. Can’t even get it up for Y/N?”
A deep breath in, and Roman was quick to push the argument back onto Shiv. “Did you think Tom was going to go to jail?”
“No. I’m happy he’s not going.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are! You look really happy. Fucking rainbows and sunshine plastered all over you. Did you think he was, though? Just a smidge? Maybe Dad would go to jail, too? Oh, and maybe I’d go, too! And because Kendall’s all fucked up in the head, you’d… oh, you’d be able to sit on your little throne. It’d be all about you. You thought it was ladies’ night and they were playing your song, but guess what? You were wrong! All the men got together in the man club and we decided, sweetheart, everything’s fine, so just—”
A cord within you snapped.
“Roman,” you sternly barked out. “Shut the fuck up. We get it.”
“Don’t talk for me,” Shiv haughtily told you, before fixing her brother with a fiery glare. “He’s just using you as a messenger boy, but as usual, you’re too fucking dumb to see it.”
“Right. Mhm. It’s difficult for you, I know. It’s hard to have to do the dance for Dad because you just suck at dancing,” Roman sneered. 
“You’re a piece of shit,” said Shiv. 
Clearly on a roll, Roman just kept talking: “It turns out he loves it when I do the Daddy dance, but I guess that’s because he loves me.” He was feeding himself lies. Logan didn’t even have to do it anymore—Roman was desperate enough to believe it. “He loves fucking me, and he just doesn’t want to fuck you anymore.”
“What are you even talking about? You’re so fucking gross!” Shiv just about yelled.
The two fell into more bickering, but it faltered away when Kendall showed up out of nowhere. You glanced at his pocket—the popsicle wrapper was gone.
“Oh, shit. Look who it is! It’s birthday boy!” Roman greeted in a condescending manner. 
Kendall looked upset—far more upset than when you’d confronted him about the popsicle.
“Neither of you should be here,” Kendall gruffly said. “You shouldn’t be at my fucking party.”
“Oh, God, you’re right. Someone call the cops. Intruders have breached the masturbatorium!” Laughing, Roman took your drink and finished what was left of it. You stared down at the empty glass with pursed lips.
Finally, you looked up at Kendall. “You find the rabbit wrapping?” you quietly asked him. 
He didn’t answer your question. Instead, he stared at you for a moment before slowly saying, “I threw away the popsicle. Melted.”
That hurt a lot more than you would admit it did. “Oh,” was all you said.
Roman looked back and forth between the two of you, wondering what on earth he’d missed while he was up watching Matsson piss on his phone.
“You guys are full of shit,” Kendall said. “You came here to fuck me behind my back. You’re ghouls, and you’re disgusting.”
“Sorry. Whoops,” Roman replied, though he didn’t sound sorry at all.
Then, Kendall turned to call a few security guards lining the walls. “Can we get them out?”
“It’s a little late for that, buddy. I already spoke to Matsson. He hates you, by the way—laughs at you constantly,” Roman harshly quipped. 
Shiv shook her head. “Just stop, Roman.”
“What? Go easy on the birthday boy?”
Stone-faced, Kendall stepped closer to his siblings. “Did you come here to see me at all? You didn’t, did you?”
Shiv spared him a sharp, unapologetic smile. “Well, we haven’t been getting along that great recently, so what do you think? You surprised?”
A mutter and a shake of his head. “GoJo was my idea,” Kendall said. “You stole my idea.”
Raising his brows, Roman jeered, “What are you, fucking six? Dude, you lost. No big deal, no need to cry about it.” 
“None of it would matter if you bought out, Kendall,” you said, only barely loud enough for him to hear. “You don’t have to keep biting the hand that’s feeding you. The cage is open.”
A crackling silence. Kendall looked pained, for a second.
“You’re just a stuck-up cunt that can’t bear to see me win,” Roman said, deciding he wanted to have the final blow.
Kendall sized up to him, getting up close to his face. “You’re not a real person,” he said. “You know that? You’re not fucking real.”
Unflinching, Roman stared up at his brother. “Come on. Why don’t you hit me, maybe?”
“Rome—” you began, but he made a protesting noise.
“Come on, shitty Jesus! You know you want to. Just fucking hit me. Do it!”
Kendall watched his brother, eyes empty. Or full of despair. It was the same either way. With that, he stepped away and began to walk off.
“Ugh, look, I’m sorry, okay? Happy birthday—” Roman strode up to him and placed a hand on his back.
Accident or not, Roman pushed, and Kendall fell. He laughed, then apologized, then laughed again. Connor was there, all of a sudden, telling them to lay off each other.
All this time, you hadn’t moved a muscle. Maybe you were still mad about the popsicle. Maybe it was Matsson. Maybe it was the dysfunctional fucking family you were stuck in between.
Kendall forcefully yelled at Connor to take his coat off, and stormed off. Shiv left a few minutes later, mumbling out how much of an asshole they all were. 
“I want to leave, Roman,” you told him, and his giggling subsided, finally.
“Oh, yeah—fuck, yeah. We did what we came here for. Let’s go.”
Down the stairs, out the vagina (or was it in?), and back into the real world. Roman was saying something, but your ears were buzzing with the aftershocks of the loud music.
You hadn’t even registered Roman telling the driver to fuck off, that he wanted to walk you home. Chivalry wasn’t dead, after all. 
Once inside your house, you tugged your shoes off with a sigh and shed your clothes as soon as you stepped into your room. You just wanted to go to sleep.
Roman peeled off his suit jacket, before sitting down at the edge of your bed. “Hey, I have a proposition for you.”
At first, you genuinely believed that whatever he wanted to say was business-related. But upon looking at him, his dilated pupils, his mussed hair, his spread legs—his proposition was very obviously far from professional intent. 
It was a distraction. A good one, one that you were more than willing to take. You clambered onto the bed, straddled his thighs and leaned over him, your nose brushing his.
“Yeah, Romeo?”
“Let’s have sex. Like, actual peen in vageen type of situation.”
You weren’t drunk, but you were tired, and yet you found yourself nodding with hooded eyes. 
“You sure?” you whispered, low and raspy, as if you’d swallowed a handful of gravel. 
High-pitched, he affirmed with, “Uh-huh.”
You brushed your lips over his, only barely there. Roman jerked forward to kiss you properly, but you leaned back. “Say it, Roman.”
He swallowed, throat bobbing. “I’m sure.”
With the green light, the two of you began to peel away the few remaining articles of clothing you had on, your mouths slanted hotly against one another as you ground over his growing erection. It wasn’t exactly a kiss—more like the two of you were just breathing each other in, sighs and pants and whimpers all.
His hands seemed unsure what to do. Clenching at the bedsheets, grazing over your side, groping at your bare breasts, pressed up against him. His mouth fell away from yours with a particularly loud whine, sinking lower to dig his teeth into your shoulder. You smelled like honey, but you didn’t taste like it. Saltier, more human. A breathless curse fell from his lips, muffled into your skin.
“Inside,” he pleaded. “Fuck, I need—please turn around—can I?”
It was hard to think straight when you could feel his dick twitching, the tip continuously brushing against your clit, sending electrifying jolts throughout your whole body. You hummed, rolling your hips over his one last time, before crawling off his lap towards the center of the bed, your back facing him. A part of you wondered if there was a reason why Roman wanted to fuck you in a less intimate position for your first time together. The other, more lust-addled part of you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
Roman’s hands slipped over your waist, and he sank his throbbing cock into your slickened cunt with a pitching groan, tapering off into a whine. 
“So fucking good, Rome,” you cried out once he began unevenly thrusting, pawing at your hips as he grew more desperate—close to his release even though he’d barely even begun.
The sex itself was—it was quick, to say the least. It was clumsy, as well—but he managed to reach over and rub tight circles over your clit, which elicited a choked cry from you. At one point, you swore you felt his lips on your back, but you couldn’t be certain.
When he came, fucking spurts of hot spend into you, you shuddered violently as your orgasm crashed not two seconds later, gasping into your sheets. He thrusted into you a few more times—he liked the overstimulation, your rumbling moans, the way his cum began to trickle down your thigh.
And, finally, he eased himself out, wincing as he sank into the spot beside you. 
He panicked, just a little bit, when you pulled yourself away, getting onto your feet. 
Noticing his jerky demeanor, you offered him a soft expression. “Bathroom,” you said as a form of explanation.
That made Roman relax a bit. 
When you returned, you’d pulled on a comfortable white shirt, before slipping beneath the covers. The two of you laid together, staring at the ceiling, staring at each other, staring at your hands���intertwining together on top of the blanket.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked out, after ages of silence.
Your eyes darted up to meet his, molten brown downcast with shame. 
“For what?”
A click of his tongue, a roll of his eyes. “For—for the shitty fucking sex.”
You barked out a laugh, and Roman appeared mildly offended. 
“It was great, Ro. I actually came, which is more than what I can say for most people I’ve been with. Kudos to you,” you said, grinning cheekily.
“Really? It wasn’t too—was I—?”
“Roman. It was good,” you reassured, shifting closer so that you could press your nose to his cheek. “What do you want me to say? That I saw stars? My throat hurts from how much I screamed your name?”
This seemed to crack Roman’s insecure exterior, and he guffawed lightly. “You bitch. Fuck you.”
“Fuck you, too.” Another moment of silence. You let go of his hand, watching him carefully. “Roman?”
“Mmh?”
“Did you fuck me to prove a point? Because of what… what Shiv said?”
The air crackled with uncertainty. Roman squinted at nothing in particular. 
Eventually, Roman crooned, “You know I’ve been wanting to stick my dick in you ever since we hit our first fucking round of puberty. You know that, right? That means we were little baby teenagers and I was fucking—fantasizing about dicking you down when I should’ve been doing my homework.” 
It felt like a weight lifted off your chest—a weight you hadn’t even known was there. “Ew, Roman. You’re gross.”
He groaned loudly, dramatically tossing an arm up to cover his eyes. “Don’t say that. I’ll get hard again.”
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youaintnothinbuta · 21 days
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“Thank you for being brave enough to ask.” — elvis presley x reader
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Summary: Elvis and you have been best friends for the longest time, since the beginning of high school. Neither of you have ever dared to confess to the other about the feelings you both have, until one night, you’re complaining about another terrible date, he’s sick of hearing about men that take you for granted and decides finally to ask you out on a date.
Pairing: Elvis Presley / Austin!Elvis x fem!reader
Word count: 631
Warnings: none!! Fluff <3
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You let out a frustrated sigh, sinking into the cushions that decorated your bed. “I can’t even tell anyone how bad it was, E, it’s too embarrassing to admit it.” You complained to your best friend, Elvis, about the awful first date you went on a couple days prior.
He lent over the back of your vanity chair, “It can’t have been that bad. He paid, at least, right?”
You shot him an irritated glance, your lack of a response was enough of an answer.
Elvis shook his head in disbelief, his lips forming a thin line of disapproval. “That just ain’t right,” he muttered, his gaze softening as he reached out to squeeze your hand in reassurance. You offered him a grateful smile, “Thanks.”
Suddenly, Elvis straightened up, a determined gleam in his eyes. “Why don't you let me take you out?” he blurted out, his words catching you off guard. You blinked, taken aback by his sudden proposal.
“What? We go out all the time,” You replied, confusion marring your features.
He shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “No, no. I mean a date, a real one, a romantic one,” he clarified, his gaze never wavering from yours. Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You searched his face for any sign of jest, but all you found was sincerity shining in his eyes.
“I...I don't know, Elvis,” You stammered, your mind racing with uncertainty. “We've always been just friends. I don't want to ruin that.”
Elvis reached across to you, his hand finding yours, pulling you to sit up on your bed. “Honey, let me, please, just trust me,” he pleaded, his voice laced with sincerity. You hesitated, he waited through your momentary silence for your response.
Finally, through a little tear welling in your eyes, you whispered, “I'd really love that.”
In an instant, Elvis was by your side, wrapping you up in his comforting embrace. “Why are you upset?” he murmured, concern etched in his features.
You sniffled, “I’m not, I've wanted you to ask me for so long, but I just thought you'd never see me like that.”
His arms tightened around you, offering solace and reassurance. “I've always seen you, sweetheart,” he confessed, his voice soft but sure. “I just didn't know if you felt the same way.” His eyes met yours, everything felt like it was clicking into place. Ever since you met, on the first day of high school, it’s always been you and him. Neither of you knew any of the only kids when starting high school, so you found comfort in each other and had been inseparable ever since. Your families got to know each other, too, and his parents became good friends with yours over time.
The following days were a whirlwind of anticipation and excitement, he’d made sure to keep real tight lipped about what he was planning for you.
Friday night finally rolled around, he was at your place at 7 on the dot, and of course, not without flowers in his hand. Elvis spared no effort in making sure you had the perfect time. He took you to one of your favourite restaurants, and got ice cream afterwards.
As the evening drew to a close, you found yourselves strolling along the riverbank, hand in hand, the gentle lull of the water and the active city serenading you. Elvis turned to you, his eyes shimmering with affection. “Thank you for giving me a chance, for trusting me,” he said.
You smiled, squeezing his hand gently. "Thank you for being brave enough to ask."
You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, with an overwhelming feeling that something that had been quietly waiting in the wings, was finally ready to blossom.
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perseephoneee · 7 months
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four times we almost kissed and the one time we did (kol mikaelson x f!reader)
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warnings: slight blood sharing, mostly frusteration
a/n: unfortunately for my sanity, i have fallen in love with kol. why? i couldn't tell you. the actor drives me up a fucking wall. but the character? i am down for bad. so here ya go. feel free to request more kol or over tvdu characters!!
↳ masterlist ↳  want to be shipped with a fic character?
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[1] First meeting
Magic has existed in New Orleans for as long as anyone can remember. The prevalence of voodoo-- NOLA's most giant "tourist trap"-- originated in 1791 with enslaved West Africans who moved to Louisiana to grow a community for as many free people of color. That spirit meant that many of its inhabitants descended from that original society or were drawn here for its magical properties. Your family was one of the latter, a bunch of witches seeking solace in a place that nurtured it. Except with magic came strife, and eventually, other creatures came knocking at the door. Enter the Mikaelsons, New Orlean's resident vampire family that was always at the center of whatever drama was happening. Right now, something involving all those magically oriented. 
You made it a point to stay clear of the fight. Not because you didn't care– you did– but because it wasn't your fight to be had. That's how you stayed alive in this neighborhood; you knew where to stick your nose and when to stay clear. Besides, all the commotion with one of the Harvest girls (Cassie, you believe her name was) and the witch's distaste of vampires meant tensions were high. You could help the community from the background anyway; you didn't need to make yourself known.
At least, that's what you hoped. But things rarely turned out how you wanted, and this was one of those times. Walking through the back streets of NOLA was never an excellent idea, but it was shorter, and you just wanted to get to the metaphysical supply store before it closed. You needed more laurel leaves to create protection charms around your house, especially with the uptake in strife in the recent year. 
Which is how you came upon a witch killing three vampires in the alley.
You wanted to turn on your heel and leave, but the witch noticed you before you could. You didn't recognize him, so you were unsure what coven he belonged to. He was tall enough to probably tower over you, with golden curly hair and a jaw sharp enough to cut your fingers if you touched it. He was unbelievably handsome, and you hated that it caught your breath.
"You shouldn't be here, luv," he crooned, his English accent thick. He sauntered down the alley, coming up to you with narrowed eyes. 
"I don't recognize you," you countered, shifting your weight as you crossed your arms. It's best not to let him know that you're flustered.
"New in town," he smiled, a cocky grin that told you that he absolutely knew the effect he had on women. It left a bad taste in your mouth. "New Orleans is a big city; I'm surprised you would know everyone."
"I know witches," you said, peering up at him. 
"Ah, are you a magical thing yourself?"
"What do you think?" You arched a brow. He stepped closer, reaching up to twirl a piece of your hair around his finger. You recoiled slightly but didn't pull back. Never show fear; that's one thing this town taught you. 
"I think you're a pretty young thing," he hummed. "I'm Kol." He peered at you as if waiting for you to offer your name. You didn't. 
"Not interested," you pulled back from him, letting the hair he had touched fall back in front of your face. He stepped back into your space.
"I don't know, darling," he smiled, leaning closer so his breath fanned your face. It was minty like he had just had an Altoid. "I think you're interested." You hated admitting that this tall, handsome stranger (such a cliche) was right. And you really hated that if you leaned up slightly, you could feel the warmth from his lips. He stepped back, though, hands in his pockets. The same hands that had used magic to wrangle the undead life of the vampires behind him. You took that as a sign to start to leave, walking backward before turning on your heel and ignoring the gaze of the witch behind you. 
"Never got your name!" He chimed. You smiled to yourself.
"Figure it out yourself."
[2] Cemetery watch
Disgruntled. That's how you felt. Chaos had grown over the past weeks, but you didn't see Kol again. A sliver of disappointment, as you did find him cute, but also a relief. You know enough flirtatious bastards to not want to add more to your life.
You weren't thinking about him today, though. You were thinking about your grandmother, who lived in the cemetery right outside your block. A popular cemetery for Wiccan rituals, it made sense for your grandma (the high priestess of your family) to be buried there with heavy praise. 
You were laying a combination of roses, lavender, and rosemary for protection when the hair on your neck stood up. Feeling a presence, you soon turn around, making eye contact with the stranger who approached you. 
Definitely not a witch; his aura was too dark for that. He was tall, with tousled brown hair and eyes that lingered on you for far too long. He was cute, though, even if he was dangerous.
"Hello darling," he purrs, stalking closer. 
"Can I help you?" You sigh, crossing your arms as you peer at him with suspicion. He wears a cocky smile and a look that tells you he would love to have a taste.
"Don't remember me? I'm hurt," he puts a hand on his chest, feigning pain. You look at him closely, but the only recognition is in the pet name. Darling. Not many people called you darling. 
"Kol," you said. "You're shorter." His face had a hint of shock before settling into amusement. 
"That was uncalled for," he laughed, walking closer to you. In closer proximity, you could see that he was, in fact, very handsome, and he was definitely aware of that. 
"I'm reiterating my previous question, can I help you?"
"When my family sent me on this mission to track down the 'wisest witch in the quarter,' I was not expecting you," he looked down at you with gold-flecked eyes. "The beautiful girl who wouldn't give me her name. Except now I know it's Y/N."
"I thought you were a witch," you took a hesitant step back, trying to create space. 
"Temporarily," he sighed. "Now I'm back in my original form of vampire." The way he said it gave you pause, as if he was resigned to the fact but not happy about it. You could relate. If you lost your magic, you would be devastated. 
"You said something about your family?" you coughed, changing the subject. 
"There's someone working against them, and we would prefer if they don't kill us," Kol shoved his hands in his pockets, looking up at the clouds above. "People tend to hate us, Mikaelsons."
"You're a Mikaelson?" you hissed. It was because of the Mikaelsons your home was in constant disaster. "Why should I help you? Any of you?"
"For the most part, we don't want to cause trouble. It just tends to find us. Helping eliminate a threat means fewer problems in the quarter," Kol sighed, stepping closer. His fingers brushed your cheek, delicate as if touching the grass in a meadow. "Also, you'd get to spend time with me."
"Why would I want to spend time with you?" you breathed, voice wavering slightly. Curse your damn hormones for being swayed by a vampire of all creatures. His thumb came under your chin, allowing him to bring your face closer to his. Kol smelled like fresh snow and evergreens, and you knew that if he leaned a little bit closer, you wouldn't stop him. In the process, likely offend the ghost of your grandmother who was probably rolling her eyes at you right now. Before you could offend all the ancestors with your choices, Kol stepped back, resuming his cocky grin and leaving your breath lodged in your throat. Without a second thought of the implications, you made your decision.
"Fine, I'll help you."
[3] Late night spell-casting
Late nights in the Mikaelson compound meant one thing. Coffee, and lots of it. 
You made a deal with the Mikaelsons after you agreed to help them that in exchange for your time, they had to buy you cafe drinks whenever you liked it. Elijah was the most taken aback, but Kol chuckled as if he found you amusing. Still, they found it a small price, not expecting how much you valued your drinks. Most nights, it was coffee, sometimes tea, or even hot cocoa. Quite honestly, you just liked having the power to make them run around. 
You sat at one of their many couches, a book of shadows in your lap and a notepad in your hands as you made quick notes about possible spells that could combat the evil at hand. A couple of ideas swam in your head, but you wanted to exhaust your options before risking anyone else's life with a botched spell. Still, you had been at it for hours and started getting sleepy. You yawned, feeling your eyes close slightly. Thankfully, footsteps alerting you to the presence of one of the originals had you sitting up and shaking off your fatigue. Unfortunately, that original was Kol with your coffee order. 
Kol was precisely what you thought he would be. Flirtatious, cocky, impulsive, and too attractive for his own good. You hated when murderers were cute; it made life confusing. There were moments, though, when the two of you were performing recon or pouring over spell books that you saw a side of him that only showed when his guard wasn't up. He was calmer, more academic, and a lot more unsure of himself. The only thing you hated about seeing that side is it made you like him more. 
"How's my witchling doing?" he chimed, dropping off your coffee and settling beside you on the couch. You told him that being called darling felt ridiculous, so instead, he found a new nickname, which was even worse. 
"The usual, I suppose," you yawned again, leaning your head against the back of the couch. 
"Take a break."
"You realize it's your life on the line, right?" you huffed, turning to look at him. 
"My life will always be in danger, Y/N," Kol hummed, taking your books out of your lap with a minor protest from you. "That's not going to change tonight."
"Don't underestimate me," you grabbed your cup, taking a deep sip and looking at him over the lid. 
"I would never underestimate you," he grabbed your coffee and stole a sip himself, earning a growl from you. "Half the things you say shock and confuse me."
"It's my charm."
"Let's do something fun," Kol stood up, trying to drag you with him. "Research is bloody boring."
"We have two very different ideas of 'fun,' Mikaelson," you curled up into a ball on the couch, peering up at him through heavy-lidded eyes. An idea sparked in your head, and you turned a devilish smile to the brunette. "How about tarot cards?"
You found an old deck in the compound, creating a space on the table in the central area to lay out the spread. Even though having your cards would be better, you thought you could probably make do with these. You gave Kol the cards to shuffle and watched as he spent meticulous time connecting with the cards before handing the deck back to you. You started laying out the cards on the table, forming a cross with four cards separate on the side. You tucked your legs underneath you, curling up on the floor so you were huddled by the table. Kol joined you, his back against the couch as he peered at you straightening up the cards. 
"You realize you're going to flip them over, right?"
"Shut up, Mikaelson," you chimed, finishing your organization. He watched you with a small smile, and you made the effort to ignore his stare. "We'll start with your Present card."
“Boring,” Kol sing-songed. "Tell me my future."
"I have to go in order, to give an accurate reading."
"Darling, the cards are already laid out; you can do whatever you want," Kol leaned closer to you, squinting his eyes in amusement. "I live my life in futures; who cares about the past?"
Sighing, you decided to obey the nosey vampire and flip over his cards for Future and Near Future. The two cards revealed were the Lovers and Ace of Cups, respectively. 
"In your Future is a strong romantic relationship," you start, pointing out the Lovers card featuring two swans intertwined. "This correlates to the Ace of Cups, which signifies new beginnings. Since the Ace of Cups is in your near future, you'll likely encounter someone you'll soon develop a deep, long-lasting relationship with." You turn your eyes to Kol, raising an eyebrow. "Shocking, considering your personality."
"It's not that shocking," Kol quipped, leaning closer to you. "We're here, aren't we?"
His pupils were enlarged as he gazed upon you, and his glance to your lips told you exactly where his mind was. You couldn't deny you weren't thinking the same thing. It didn't help that Kol was dangerous in an enticing way. Ignoring all rational thought, you leaned in closer, nudging his nose with yours. Your heart was beating erratically, and you heard the sharp intake of breath he took. His fingers traced up your arm, each finger leaving goosebumps in their wake. What were you doing?
"How's the research going?" a voice called from the hallway. You scooted away immediately, but Kol stayed where he was. His jaw clenched as he suppressed a growl. Freya appeared, not aware of the situation and probably not caring anyway. 
"I have a few ideas," you coughed, taking a deep breath to calm your beating heart. 
"Great, I'd love to hear them so I can stop having stressful dreams," Freya chuckled, moving over to the couch. You sent Kol a glance as you passed your journal to Freya. The look he gave you told you that what started wasn't over. And the worst part was you didn't want it to be over. 
[4] Injured after a fight
A headache. That's what you were nursing. 
A sharp ringing pierced through your ears, the lights above you blurring into a bad abstract painting. A figure appeared above you, and you slowly registered that it was calling your name. You squinted your eyes, the action causing a splitting pain as the shape of Kol formed in front of you. Worry creased his brows, and blood splattered his face. 
"Y/N, Y/N, can you hear me?" Kol asked, cradling your head. You nodded, grabbing his arms to help pull yourself up. Chaos was erupting around you, and the stifling smell of magic was enough to knock you out again. That's what had happened. It was an ambush, and despite your abilities, you were blasted back into a wall, probably with a concussion and broken bones. It was times like this when you were envious of a vampire's healing skills. "I need to get you out of here."
"They need our help," you grimaced, catching Klaus ripping off someone's arms in the background. Kol caught your gaze and bothered with a slight smirk. 
"I'm sure Nik is fully capable of handling himself. Plus, my other siblings are here, and Freya called Vincent. They won't miss us."
"I'll be fine," you tried to say, but it ended in a wheeze as the effort of sitting up caused pain in your lungs. 
"You will not. Can you stand?" Kol watched you struggle for a second before picking you up. In a normal situation, you would've complained, but considering all you felt was ow ow ow ow ow you thought better than to complain. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he sped out of the scene and back to the compound. Kol laid you gently on the couch, kneeling before you, biting into his wrist and holding it to your lips. "You need to drink."
"I don't want to be a vampire," you mumbled, brushing a hand across your forehead. Your fingers held blood on them, and you became dizzy with that knowledge.
"I won't let that happen now, drink," Kol insisted, his voice having a hard edge. Considering he was a stubborn bastard, you relented. You hesitantly grabbed his wrist and brought it up to your mouth. The blood slid down your throat cleanly, but you had to suppress the urge to gag anyway since it was blood. You felt your bones click into place, and your headache dull to a memory. You finally looked up, catching Kol's gaze on you. How was it intensely erotic to have someone watch you drink their blood? There must be therapy for issues like this, but you didn't really care. How he looked at you was akin to a predator waiting to devour its next meal. You knew if you let him, he would fulfill every potential vampire fantasy one could have. He touched your cheek, touching your lips where his blood was just a second ago. He pulled away, red coating his fingers, and you suppressed a groan when he sucked the leftover blood. 
"Kol," you whispered, your voice raspy. He sat up at eye level, leaning down as if to kiss you. Of course, things weren't that easy, as his family burst into the compound right at that moment. You wanted to let out a scream of frustration but ended up being caught off guard by Klaus dropping a head by the entryway. 
"Glad to see our little witch is okay," Klaus chimed, looking pretty proud of himself. If Kol were a cartoon character, he'd blow smoke out of his ears. 
"I'm alive," you sighed. Klaus walked over, ignoring his brother's glares, and patted you on the shoulder. That was the closest thing to the affection you were getting from the hybrid. As the rest of the family delved into a conversation about the ambush, you finally got up and looked at the original kneeling on the ground before you. "We'll finish this later," you smiled, pretending to ignore the slight growl that left Kol's mouth as you walked off. 
[5] Evil has passed
"I thought you would've left."
Kol stood in the entryway of his bedroom at the Mikaelson home while you stood (guilty) by his bookshelf. 
"I was returning this book I borrowed from you," you said innocently. Putting the book back on the shelf, you turned to the man before you, trying his best to plaster on a convincing smile. The threat has passed, your job was over, and yet you were melancholy. These people had caused problems throughout your home since they arrived, yet your temporary alliance ending was something of sadness. You were tired of pretending it was for any reason other than Kol. Kol started as an annoying individual who sought to drive you up the wall, but now was someone you saw a kinship with. Your long talks on history and adventures across the globe were moments where you saw his guard fall, and you loved every second of it. It helped that he was pretty to look at. 
"I guess this means goodbye then, doesn't it witchling?" Kol sighed, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets. You could swear he sounded disappointed, but you didn't want to get your hopes up. 
"Depends," you crossed your arms. "I could be persuaded to come back."
"Persuaded?" Kol inquired, that mischievous glint in his eyes telling you he would ensure a way to keep you around. "Any particular reason?"
"If someone wanted me around, I guess," you smiled, a tiny grin but good enough for Kol to stroll towards you until he towered over your figure. 
"I'll give you a good reason," Kol murmured, a devilish smirk on his lips. "Something that we kept getting interrupted for in the past." He cupped your face in his hands, lowering his lips so they were a hairsbreadth from yours. 
"Don't be a tease," you breathed. Letting out a dark chuckle, he pressed his lips to yours. It was surprisingly light, not hungry like his usual personality. He tasted like a fresh snowstorm and an evergreen forest, and you know you could get drunk on that alone. Wrapping your arms around his torso, you brought him closer to you, deepening the kiss and earning a light groan from the vampire. Kol's hands tangled in your hair, one of them going to hold your waist. Every touch of his was coldfire, and you were so glad that you were finally alone to burn in him. He tilted your head back, leaving open-mouthed kisses along your throat that caused you let out a moan. He nipped the junction of your neck and shoulder, kissing over it until he was back at your lips again, leaving a searing kiss. Kol pulled away, glancing at you with eyes abysmal. "What took you so long to do that?" you breathed, a grin covering your face as Kol laughed, kissing the corner of your mouth. 
"You're all mine now," Kol smiled, kissing you again. "Always and forever."
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izvmimi · 27 days
Text
cw: angst. marriage mention. alcohol use. female pronouns. forgive me, polish speakers if anything is wrong pls dm me.
“Wódkę, proszę.”
The bartender gives the young man a look, scrutinizing his features carefully as he tries to assess the origin of the accent in his softly-spoken Polish or the quiet desolation in his eyes, and nods.
“Okej.”
In just a few moments that pass barely perceptibly, there is a glass of clear liquid set before him, and he ponders for a moment as he stares into the glass. It’s too dark in this dusty dive bar, a far drive from the venue where he should have been dancing the night away, spinning the love of his life in his arms, under the thankful, mirthful eyes of everyone he’s known and loved. Yet here he is, attempting to suffocate his feelings with vodka amongst strangers in a country he doesn’t entirely call home.
Perhaps there is some solace to that. Having his wedding overseas rather than Japan had sounded like an unnecessary decision but he had started this new life with you in this very place, and thus it felt fitting to plant the roots of your love in this very soil. Additionally, there was comfort in knowing that in a small way he was nobody here if he wanted to be. Mysterious like this liquid if it were in another glass, if presented to him not upon his request.
He takes a sip and it burns, and it’s somehow soothing, and quickly he shoots back as much of the drink as possible. The sudden gasp for air is loud and sharp, but the rest of the bar is loud and no one even offers him a glance.
He should have seen it coming. You were always so very anxious - not about your career, or your hopes and dreams, but about him, how you meshed together, how your lives would intertwine, how you would map out your family and future. One foot in and one foot out, while worrying the same for him. Jealous at times, needy at others. He’d hoped it was just a measure of how intense your love was for him, that you’d balk at the idea of any challenge, but really it was just your inability to trust him naturally.
He’s not sure what he could have done more for you. Held you more, kissed you more, been around more for you? Would it have been different if he had been more forthcoming with his admiration for you or been more aggressive sexually? Nicer haircuts? Grown a beard? Better fashion sense?
What did you need that he couldn’t offer you? He would have given you the sun, moon and stars on a platter if only you’d asked for it.
All he had asked for was for you to be there, to walk down the aisle to him, in the presence of family and friends. 
To be his wife.
You had agreed after all to do it. He’s not new to your indecisiveness, but this? This is far, far more sinister. 
The whole church was in disarray.
Where is the bride?
Where is his pride?
He asks for another drink, and downs it just as quickly. 
Wakatoshi left the second the wedding was called off, unaware of what the guests did thereafter. You were polite enough in your complete disregard for his heart to leave a note, and when he called you, the empty line made it clear you had not much more to say to explain yourself. 
So he’ll leave it at that. 
There are better ways to end a relationship, and if he thinks really really hard, there are probably worse ways, but this hurts. 
His friends are calling him, too, wondering why he has disappeared. Satori sends message after message that he’s not ready to respond to, and possibly never will. If only he could drown in this glass, he would. Perhaps then he could re-emerge as someone worthy of love or at the very least respect.
Perhaps reborn, you would love him enough to stand with him, tears in both of your eyes rather than streaming down wordlessly into his empty glass.
“Wódkę, proszę.”
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benkeibear · 11 days
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⋆꙳✧༄ Relationship Headcanons
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꒰ ͜͡➸ What a relationship with Kongo would be like. (Age gap!)
❖ Character: Kongo
❖ Reader: genderneutral
❖ WARNINGS: Age gap. Reader is (much) younger than Kongo!
❖ A/n: Want to see more? Sign up for the Taglist in my Navi! | MY MAN MY MAN I couldn't resist!! Kongo lovers please step forward and giggle with me
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ꕤ Kongo can’t believe how lucky he got to have met you and that you allow him to pour all his love onto you.
ꕤ He hesitated a long time to make his feelings known officially. You knew for quite awhile already, or at least you suspected it by the way he treated you but you didn't want to ask him out, fearing that it would be inappropriate or that you're not good enough.
ꕤ He's a well respected man, an unshakable mountain but when it comes to you he suddenly forgets how to speak. You quite literally steal his breath away.
ꕤ You were unsure if he needed your help the first time you met, stammering around and his words made no sense either. He took a deep breath to save further embarrassment and started anew.
ꕤ You make him feel soft and light as a feather, allowing him to be himself and never judging him for it.
ꕤ Oh and how he adores it when you fawn over him, pointing out how strong he is and even going as far as raking your fingers over his defined muscles - it makes him feel so good about himself.
ꕤ Sure he was a little worried about the age gap and what his sons would think at first when he introduced you as his new partner, but barely any of them cared more than cocking an eyebrow. They knew better though and politely welcomed you into the family.
ꕤ Hibaru however was obsessed with you to the point where Kongo needed to tell him to calm down but the young boy just wanted to get to know you, the person who makes his father smile so much. He had no ill intentions towards you and viewed you like another cool older sibling rather than a potential new parent.
ꕤ Kongo kisses the floor you walk on, no wish too big, no desire remaining unfulfilled.
ꕤ He is so proud to call you his too, showing you off at every opportunity he had. He feels like he is the man when you held onto his arm in public, even your pinky finger linked with his is enough to make him feel superior.
ꕤ There's definitely flowers every week just so he can tell you that no matter how pretty the bouquet is, you're much more beautiful to him.
ꕤ In general he doesn't mind spoiling you, wanting to show you that you're worth everything to him. He would gladly sell his soul for you too.
ꕤ That man is so in love with you he can't stop stealing glances and smiling to himself like an idiot because you're his.
ꕤ Please fawn over his muscles, he won't ever complain about it and instead he lifts you up just to show off how strong he is, muscles rippling underneath your touch.
ꕤ He's also a walking furnace and keeps you warm on even the coldest days. Have cold hands? He will engulf them with his big ones and presses kisses over your knuckles.
ꕤ Kongo adores it when you play with his chin beard. Feel free to braid it or tug on it when you want him to lean down for a kiss.
ꕤ No matter how angry he is at you or for any other reason, he would never get violent. He won't even raise his voice. Give him some time to cool off and he will talk it out with you.
ꕤ That being said he sometimes craves to be held. He's that big strong man but he finds solace in your arms. Let him crawl into them, resting between your legs with his head buried in the crook of your neck, let him hide and forget about the horrible day. He craves your touch in a non sexual way on these days.
ꕤ If it's up to him you don't need to work or anything but he won't tell you what to do either - if you want some independence - he supports whatever you want.
ꕤ Kongo is overall just so happy to be your partner and he's loyal to the bone, expecting the same of you but next to that he enjoys a happy, carefree life with you.
ꕤ If you're up to it he would also like to make the family bigger with your help by either getting more children or adopting them.
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Networks: @enchantedforest-network @themovingcastlez
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reticent-writer · 4 months
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Hello hello! Your writing has dragged me back into Demon Slayer(/vpos) and I got an idea, if you’re up for it! (This might be rambley so bare with me please)
What about (character(s) of your choice) with a music lover s/o or friend who gets turned into a siren-like demon? Physically speaking, maybe their skin becomes scales and they grow some fins here and there. And while they’re still mentally present enough to be themselves rather than a mindless cryptid, perhaps they become spacey, a bit more jumpy, and find a lot of solace near water/with music. How would your characters of choice handle these changes? Especially if s/o refuses to drink blood(or at least sources it like Tamayo does) and wants to fight by their side? (Maybe their Blood Art has something to do with their voice, like a Siren’s luring voice or a Banshee scream!)
I hope that’s not too much detail, feel free to leave out/add anything and have a wonderful day/night! Thank you!!
◡̈⋆ʜᴇʟʟᴏ(●’◡’●)ノ thank you for requesting, don't worry I love a lot of details.
sorry for the wait
I viewed most of these as platonic but it can go either way
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✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿  
If there is anything that you need Tanjiro gotchu. If you do drink blood he'll offer his if you don't that's even better. Out of everyone here he notices the changes in your personality the most. He notices your likes and dislikes and changes what he does to accommodate you.
"Y/n? you alright?" Tanjiro taps your shoulder to which you jump and turn around. Seeing that it was just him and nezuko you smile.
"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"
"We're on a mission and you were spacing out again." He sweatdropped as you took in your surroundings. It was the middle of the night, in a forest.
"Oh I'm sorry." You flush, "Did you kill the demon. I'm so sorry-"
"No no it's fine... it's just that I kinda broke my leg and I'm bleeding internally."
"OH MY GOD."
-------
One minute you're both talking then the next Muichirou forgets what you were talking about and you are spacing out. When he gets his memories back the first thing he remembers about you is your voice. You never tried to eat him so why should he care if you are a demon or not.
After the battle in the swordsman village, Muichirou was transported to the butterfly mansion.
"MUI-"
"Y/n don't shout this is an infirmary." Aoi scolded and you replied with a meek sorry.
the moment the two of you made eye contact, his eyes lit up. His best friend was waiting for him and he could clearly remember everything about anything.
You waited for Aoi to finish setting Muichirou in a room before you sat at his side and talked to him.
"Y/n can you sing the song that you're always humming."
-------
Rengoku believes that if nezuko can be a non-human-eating demon then there is a chance for you to be one too. Once he knows you're harmless he brings you around senjuro.
You were a former demon slayer and or close friend(or S/o) to the flame hashira, Your families were close.
"Senjuro you remember Y/n, don't you?"
"Oh no did something happen to them."
"Well not exactly she um-" cue you (who was standing in the shadows of the Rengoku estate) stepping out into the sunlight and getting burnt.
You gave Senjuro a heart attack when he saw you.
-------
Genya doesn't know how to react. It takes him days to figure out how to deal with literally everything. Man is walking on eggshells around you.
He literally just stares at you.
"Um genya... your creeping me out."
In the blink of an eye he snaps out of it and his face goes red.
-------
mitsuri finds you absolutely adorable, she's glad that you didn't turn into a full demon. Obanai on the other hand is very skeptical.
"Obanai look it Y/n." Mitsuri enthusiastically presented you to the less-than-happy man.
"Another demon seriously."
"Oh Obanai don't be so
-------
Tamao takes an interest in your changes. You being around is like a breathe of fresh air for her and Yushiro. Although Yushiro would never admit it.
"How are you feeling today Y/n." Tamao said as she offered you a cup of blood.
"I'm feeling fine thanks for asking.
"If you feel so fine would you mind getting back to work." Yushio butted in.
"Ah poor Yushiro having to cover for me for less than 2 days while I was out."
"Oh please you were only dying for a day you stayed down to be dramatic."
"Wow I-"
"Can both of you not argue please."
✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿  
Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope this holiday season has been full of joy.
This is my FINAL post of 2023.
It has been a year of many surprises and has now ended.
I'm still accepting requests but I won't post until the New year because there is so much going on.
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witchthewriter · 4 months
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𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬/𝐘𝐮𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐔𝐡𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐧, 𝐎𝐬𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡 & 𝐒𝐢𝐡𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  
a/n: why won't tumblr let me indent conversations???? AND I am so sorry this is late xx
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ
𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿
It was a bit disheartening that you all couldn't get back home in time. The harsh weather did not allow for hasty travel.
So, the group was a bit stumped on how to celebrate the holiday, not just because you're a mixture of Saxons and Danes, but because you did not have what you usually did. Not your families, or a roof over your heads, nor did you have a wonderful feast... that's what the group was most sad about in all honesty. (Besides Sihtric who has a wife and many chlldren of course).
But Uhtred settles everyone. Like he usually does.
"We can celebrate how we want to. Combine our traditions or maybe experience something new? What do you say?"
"Uhtred, our tradition goes for twelve days-" Sihtric replies, scratching the side of his head.
"Well at least we'll be back in time for some of it!" Finan claps Sihtric on the shoulder, slightly squeezing.
Everyone was onboard. (of course they were, all members of the group respect each other - and therefore their beliefs.)
With Finan first to agree, as always.
The night before Yule, you made everyone sleep in the same tent. Dragging everyone's sleeping rolls into the one space, ignoring the disgruntled comments from each man.
But as your found family, you wanted at least one night where everyone is together (even if there isn't much room).
Osferth and yourself are in the middle, with Finan and Sihtric on either side.
Uhtred comes into the tent late - making sure the area was secure (I know there would usually be a look out but just pretend it isn't needed for this night)
At first everyone fought over space, but as the time went on, a calmness settled in the tent...until Finan farted
Osferth was the first to wake. He stayed in the tangled mess of arms and legs for a bit; revelling in the warmth of his family around him.
Luckily, with Uhtred's forward thinking, he had gotten all your presents weeks in advance. And last night he wasn't only just securing the small camp. He had set up the presents outside, along with 'decorations' (which were branches and herbs he'd found. It actually looked very beautiful.)
Osferth quietly left the tent, standing in awe of what Uhtred had done. He started the food; as he's always done. Pulling out all the stops... truly putting in all his effort to make the food perfect
And Osferth really did outdo himself, because that's how the rest of you left the tent. By your noses.
Prayers and thanks are said before the food is dished out, and it isn't until minutes later that you and Finan spot the presents
"Aye, what do we have here?" Finan nearly squeals. His delight illuminating his grubby face.
"A surprise," Uhtred replies with an amused smile.
"Oh I love surprises, well, only the good ones -" you clarified. Finan nodding along in agreement.
"Well, go on," Uhtred said ushering you forward. Then he turned, cupping his mouth and shouted, "Osferth! Sihtric!"
When presents are handed out, Finan is the most excited to receive his, while Uhtred is excited to give them.
Sihtric does his best to keep on a happy face, but you can tell he feels guilty for not coming back in time for Yule. You know he misses his wife and kids.
Each of you took turns trying to cheer him up. But all he could find solace in, was that he'd be able to see them soon enough.
With full bellies and a twinkle in each of your eyes, you all laid down to stare up at the stars.
Shoulder to shoulder, you all felt each other's warmth, letting it sink into your body, into your very bones.
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teyums · 1 year
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Stargazing - Ao’nung x fem! na’vi reader
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Ladies and gentleman, i pulled that laptop out 🫡 it’s been years since I wrote fanfic and I’m still figuring out this app, so bare with me here 😅
wc: 2.3k
Pairing: Ao’nung x fem omaticaya reader
includes: minor swearing, fluff
a/n: thoughts or flashbacks are in italics
Hexapede: a six-legged deer that lives on pandora
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A few months had passed since your family trekked across Pandora and arrived at a remote Metkayina village, named Awa’atlu. The journey was tough and becoming accustomed to your new way of life proved to be even more difficult than staying awake on your ikran for eight hours straight. You hated the fact that you had to leave your beloved home behind, and you sure as hell didn’t want to stay here. The people of the clan looked at you odd and made you feel like you weren’t even a real na’vi.
Somewhere along the line, you found solace in the olo’eyktan’s son- Ao’nung. This came as a shock considering you could not stand him when you first met him. He was arrogant, rude, and even more annoying than Lo’ak. Who would have thought.
To be honest, you were the only one out of your siblings who he made fun of the least, aside from Tuk of course. He had never really bullied you and kept his taunting to the others after about two days passed. You still didn’t appreciate your siblings being teased though.
But as you got to know him more, you saw that there was more to him. He was also funny, extremely charming, and sometimes sweet- when he wanted to be at least.
One night he had found you sitting on a wooden deck that stretched out over the ocean, lightly swishing your feet around in the water and staring down at the vast sea. It was breathtaking, even more so at night. The purple and pink bioluminescent hues that illuminated off the ocean floor and vegetation drew you in. It was hypnotizing, almost. It reminded you of your home, your beloved forest. The thought of how long it’s been since you climbed a tree or saw your people sent a pang through your heart.
“What up, tree hugger?” You heard a painfully familiar voice taunt. Ao’nung took it upon himself to intrude on your quiet time and invited himself to sit next to you on the deck.
You sighed, not even bothering to lift your gaze from the small fish that had began to circle your submerged shins. “I thought I told you to stop calling me that.” You responded, clearly agitated.
He tilted his head and looked up to the side at nothing, appearing as if he was genuinely contemplating- just to respond, “Uhh, and I thought I told you I didn’t care?”
You turned to glare at him, causing his cheeky expression to fall off his face once he realized you weren’t in the joking mood. “Sorry,” he shook his head, “I saw you out here and just wanted to see what you were up to.” He spoke in a calm tone and shrugged.
Huh. An apology. That was rare for Ao’nung. He was slowly making progress ever since you had first arrived though. Since your first run in, you’d actively been helping him work on his people skills because honestly, he wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around. Constantly picking fights or insulting others unprovoked was definitely not a quality you had been introduced to before meeting him. You couldn’t believe the clan let him walk around disrespecting others like that and it didn’t sit right with you. Growing up, you were taught to be kind and treat others with grace. Clearly, that was not the case for this knucklehead. They treated him like royalty for obvious reasons, his parents being Tonowari and Ronal, the Olo’eytkan and Tsahik of the clan.
He did try to bully you, but only once, when you first arrived. And it’s safe to say he got humbled- painfully.
You watched as Ao’nung poked fun at Kiri’s tail, stepping in between them and smacking his arm away. He retracted and genuinely looked shocked, almost as if he felt his behavior toward your sister was justified.
“Why must you feel the need to pick on others?” you hissed, “Honestly though, seeing as your ego is so huge I’m guessing it must be making up for a lack of… something else.” You tilted your head down a bit and batted your lashes to hint at what you were referring to, using a cough to cover up the next insult you sent his way. “Shrimp” you muttered, yet clear enough to be heard.
You would definitelyyyy eat these words later, you just didn’t know it yet.
His friends erupted in laughter and slapped his back, causing him to stumble forward a little before he growled at them to shut their mouths. Safe to say he was not amused and glared at you for literally a week straight afterwards, as if he thought looks could really kill.
After that, he started to treat you and your siblings normally. Apparently he had never experienced anyone giving him a taste of his own medicine before you came along. He couldn’t lie though, it made him feel some type of way. You didn’t hold him to a pedestal like everyone else did, and somehow that intrigued him. You treated him just like any na’vi because that’s what he was to you; minus the budding feelings your heart was slowly developing for him of course.
Coming out of your flashback, you remembered you guys were having a conversation. “My family is down at the beach having a bonfire, they asked me to join, but I declined. For some reason I just felt like being alone.” You emphasized the last word of your sentence and let it roll of your tongue, turning your head to face him with a comically slow pace.
“Oh come on” he scoffed. “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy my company.” He sounded so confident and even though he actually was right, you felt the burning need to tease him.
“I don’t.” His signature smirk dropped off his face with record speed. “I’m kidding, Ao’nung” You giggled.
“You’re not funny you know.” He rolled his eyes and averted his gaze from you, now looking out at where the sea met the horizon.
A dorky smile crept onto your face at his behavior and you couldn’t help but stare at him. He looked so cute when he pouted, the way his lips would purse and his jawline would become more defined, which you thought would be impossible until now. You realized he too had small dot like markings splattered on his skin, and they were glowing under the moonlight. You hadn’t noticed them before, seeing as you only saw him in the daytime and due to the metkayina boy’s skin tone being lighter than yours, they were really only visible at night.
Gosh, he’s so pretty.
“Careful forest girl, you’re drooling. You know your face will get stuck like that if you stare too long.” He purred, without even looking in your direction.
His voice snapped you out of your daydream and your face became hot once you noticed you had been ogling him. You thought because he was facing forward that he wouldn’t see you admiring him and his features.
Damn you, peripheral vision.
You looked like a hexapede in headlights. You shook your head and snatched your eyes away from his face, whipping your hands up to cover your flustered expression. “Oh. my. eywa.” You whispered to yourself, resulting in him bursting out in a fit of laughter and doubling over at your reaction.
“Oh my-“ Ao’nung got out only two words before cutting himself off with another laugh that came deep from his gut, his large arms cradling his stomach as if it hurt.
“It’s not funny, you skxawng.” You seethed.
“Look at your face!” He cackled, collapsing backwards onto the deck and continuing to laugh at you when you refused to look up at him. “Wooo, oh man,” he sighed and wiped a fake tear from under his eye, then folded his muscular arms behind his head, now looking up at the sky above. “You’re kinda cute when you’re embarrassed, you know.” You heard him say after a few seconds.
You swore flirting was like breathing for him, it’s like every word that left his lips was meant to make you blush. “What?” You lowered your hands and turned your head over your shoulder to look at him in astonishment, snapping back around like a rubber band to look at the water so fast your head almost spun off your shoulders. You felt the pace of your heart quicken at the sight of the new position he had put himself into.
You have got. To be fucking kidding me.
Could he look any hotter right now? You thanked Eywa that his attention was caught by the twinkling stars above you two, had it not been, you honestly thought you would have sunk into the ocean and let yourself drown right then and there.
You tried to burn the image of his ridiculously toned arms and etched abs out of your mind, quickly pulling your legs up and out of the water and starting to stand up from the deck. “Honestly I think I hear Lo’ak calling me so-“ you spoke rapidly, nearly tripping over your words.
“Ah ah,” With reflexes faster than lightning, he propped himself up on one elbow and grabbed your wrist. “Sit down.” He ordered, looking more serious than ever.
Your breath caught in your throat before it could escape and you froze at the feeling of his hand on your skin. Which was ironic considering your body felt like it was on fire. With a shaky sigh you sat back down, slowly sliding your legs back into the cool water below you.
He released his hold on your wrist and you felt your lungs take the biggest, most embarrassing inhale- not realizing you had been holding your breath for about fifteen seconds. Shit, at least the breathing exercises Tsireya taught you were working.
“Jeez man, you act as if I’m going to eat you or something.” Sliding his arm back below his head, he chuckled at your strange behavior.
Shit, can he already?
Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the thought and image that flashed into your mind, like a reflex almost. You felt as if he could damn near read your thoughts right now so you urged your brain to shut up. Upon realizing you hadn’t spoken a word this entire interaction, you forced your voice to form words to distract from how obviously flustered you had just become.
“I’m a bit tired and It’s getting late.” You mumbled. Ao’nung was no fool, he could see right through your facade and it honestly amused him. Someone who usually had so much to say was now speechless at the likes of him.
“Liar, it is not. It’s only seven.” He answered swiftly, nearly cutting you off as if he had been expecting you to come up with another excuse to escape. “Lay down with me.” He said softly.
You dropped your head back and shut your eyes tightly, silently cursing him. It looked like you were inciting a prayer to Eywa, begging her to get this boy to stop talking to you before your heart exploded. You scooted away from him as subtly as possible before hesitantly reclining and pressing your stiff back against the wooden surface of the deck. Your eyes burned into the night sky as if this was your first time ever seeing stars.
He raised an eyebrow at you, obviously in reaction to the stupid amount of space between the two of you.
“You are actually so odd,” he sounded bewildered, eyes searching your face to try and understand you. “Do you think I have cooties or something? For fucks sake come here-“ He grabbed the arm of yours that was farthest from him, pulling it so you rolled over in his direction and fell into his chest.
You inhaled sharply, your face suddenly making contact with his hard chest and your cheek pressing against his warm skin. His arm snaked around your waist and pulled you closer to him, the butterflies in your stomach flapping their wings feverishly and your throat growing a lump in it.
His deep voice snapped you out of your trance and you felt his chest vibrate as he began to speak. “Relax.” He cooed.
“Ao’nung” you started sternly, “It is quite literally impossible for me to relax when you’re touching me like this.”
You huffed out a frustrated breath, but not derived from the kind of frustration you felt when your siblings would steal your leftovers.
This felt… different.
“I know.” You could hear the smirk oozing out of his tone.
You thanked the heavens that he couldn’t see your face right now. To save yourself from further embarrassment, you decided it would be best to keep quiet.
As you two laid there listening to the waves gently crashing against the rocks for who knows how long, you weren’t sure when it had happened but your shoulders were relaxed now. Listening to the steady thumping of his heart against his chest, you suddenly felt the urge to make your feelings known to him.
Of course it was obvious and he definitely knew by now since you were terrible at hiding it. But that didn’t mean you didn’t want to say it out loud yourself.
“Ao’nung,” You bit your lip and searched for the courage to continue. “I have to tell you something-“ You spoke as you sat up and turned your head to look at him.
Your sentence was conveniently interrupted by a loud, obnoxious snore from the boy next to you. You were so deep in your own thoughts that you hadn’t realized how long you guys were laying there quiet for. You blinked at him with a deadpan expression and rolled your eyes, delicately laying your head back down against his chest so not to wake him.
“Skxawng.” You muttered, the corners of your mouth turning up ever so slightly and into a small smile.
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Alright y’all how’d i do? I haven’t written in so long this took forever to draft out LOL. My apologies for any errors i mays have missed! Hope you guys enjoyed 💞
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gloryy-vs · 1 year
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Can you do a lo’ak x metkayina reader where they kind hate each other but end up having feelings in the end💗💗
Reckless
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character: lo’ak x metkayina! reader
ratings: sfw, rebellious lo’ak, enemies to lovers ,
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He was a reckless one, and that was for sure. Always wanting to be a little warrior, going off and adventuring even though his father Jake, told him not to. You’d be lying if you said he wasn’t cute, but he was too rebellious for your taste. At least you thought. He had no remorse for it and you wondered why. You overheard Ao’nung and Rotxo invite him to go hunting beyond the reef, a horrible idea. You stomped towards the group in disbelief. “You can’t be serious, Tonowari said not to go beyond the reef. Especially with the newcomers. You’re asking for it!” You said, trying to reason and keep the group of boys alive.
Ao’nung rolled his blue eyes, ready to retort with a smart ass comment. Lo’ak beat him to it, “Cmon, cant you live a little? Don’t be such a wuss.” He said, his frame towering over you. You scoffed in his face, “Maybe I value my life and think with my head.” You said, getting close to him.
He challenged you, his face getting closer to yours. “Maybe that’s why you act like you have a stick up your ass.” Your mouth dropped open, and Ao’nung mimicked a sizzle noise, laughing with his friends at how bold Lo’ak was. You laughed sarcastically, backing away from him. “Fine. Whatever, but don’t crawl to me asking for help with your wounds. You’re on your own forest boy.” You turned around, walking away in annoyance.
“Whatever, fish girl.” He said, and you flicked him off without even looking at him.
.
Tonowari and Jake almost sent out a search party after Neteyam forced a confession out of Ao’nung. You were worried sick for Lo’ak, despite both of you being irked with each other, you did care for the boy. Lo’ak was told to make friends with douchebags like Ao’nung and suffered the consequences. You paced back and forth until you heard the yells of joy, “The boy has returned!” Rushing through the crowd of people, your eyes laid upon Lo’ak. Seeing his indifferent and almost disappointed face at Ao’nung was upsetting. Poor Lo’ak was probably fending for his life outside the reef. He was forced away by his father, and you listened intently from a distance to the conversation.
“You brought shame to this family.” Jake said. Your heart dropped for the youngest son. Lo’ak shrugged it off, not bothering to argue with his father while he walked off.
Lo’ak made eye contact with you; and your ears flattened against your head. You walked over to him, arms wrapping around him. He didn’t touch you at first, until he caved and took solace in your comfort. Lo’ak wrapped his arms around your waist tightly. “I was worried fucking sick. Don’t you dare ever go outside that damn reef again Lo’ak!” You said, tears in your eyes as you slapped his chest.
He huffed, ears perking up. “You don’t hate me?” He said shyly.
“I never said I did, did I?” You said, wiping your face from the few tears.
“No, but you sure acted like it.” He responded, “You’re always so uptight. Nothing like me.” He said, realizing you two were different. Your grounded personality, and how you scolded him but in a worried and loving way made him notice you two would be perfect for each other. Opposites attract, do they not?
“And you’re always looking for trouble.” You said, just now deciding to let go of him with an embarrassment showing in your face. He tilted his head, “Well, now I’m looking to catch your eye.” He said with a smooth tone. You made a straight face, rolling your eyes so hard they could pop out from the tension. “Be more responsible first.” You joked.
“Learn to have some fun.” He said in a quick response. You tapped his cheeks with both hands, “We can teach each other.” You said while pinching his left cheek and slapping it a few times afterwards. Lo’ak gripped the back of your neck playfully just as his brother did to him before; and you tended up in irritation, glaring at him. “Little shit..” You said before pushing his shoulder, a smirk finding its way to your blue lips.
Maybe a little fun wouldn’t hurt.
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liightsout · 3 months
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the blue (prologue)
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Hey angels!
I have had the urge to write again circling around in my head for the past month so whilst being home from work sick for the day, I did a thing...
I haven't written anything in near on 8 years, so this is probably god awful, but one of my goals for this year is to do more things I enjoy, so please be kind!
I have some plans for Mattie and Danny, so if you're interested please stick around, I'd love for you to share this lil journey with me.
Asks are always open if you wanna chat.
Love ya x
﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎
Matilda wasn’t sure how she had ended up in the situation she currently found herself. 
Cliche, right? Specifically Matilda was not sure which choices she had made in her life that had caused her to find herself standing on the doorstep of Daniel Ricciardo’s Monaco apartment, deciding whether she should knock on the door for a final time, or walk away and try again in the morning. 
When she had heard the news from Adam that morning she hadn’t second guessed the decision to buy a flight ticket to Nice for that same evening. She didn’t think about how she would get to Heathrow Airport, didn’t consider how much the taxi from the airport to Daniel’s would cost, or even if he would want to see her. He would want to see her, right? Daniel had done the same for her on previous occasions, despite her protests at the time. Doubt was creeping into the forefront of her brain the longer she stood there staring at the large oak door. 
 Shaking the thought from her head, she knocked a final time and waited. A few minutes ticked by when she finally heard it. 
Relief filled Matilda’s body as she heard movement from inside the apartment. She could picture Daniel climbing off of the sofa they had spent so many nights together on. She could hear the mumbled expletives as he neared the door, his feet dragging along the laminate in the way they always seemed to when he was tired. 
“Blake, I told you, I don’t want to see anyone right now. I’ll call you in the morning, but I just… I just need to be alone.” 
Matilda’s heart dropped. It was worse than she had initially thought. It was no shock to her that Daniel would be taking the news terribly. But to be turning away his friends was… so not Daniel.  Even when he was feeling low he had always welcomed the solace of his friends and family. She feared she had made the wrong call showing up at all. 
“Danny it’s me. I heard the news from Adam this morning. Don’t be mad, but Lando told him and he just thought I should know because he didn’t think you’d tell me yourself, at least not straight away, and he was worried about you.” Moments of silence passed by, nerves seeping into the deepest parts of Matilda’s mind. 
“Please open the door Danny, I need to see you. You don’t have to let me in or speak to me, I just want to see you and make sure you’re alright. I brought some of those crisps you like from home because I know you’ve probably not eaten anything… or maybe you have… either way, I thought you’d want some and I didn’t know what else to bring, or what else to do, I just needed to see-” 
The door swinging open cut Matilda off. Daniel wasted no time in enveloping the smaller girl into his arms. Matilda had received a lot of hugs from Daniel in the short 18 months she had known him, but this one felt different. She could feel Daniel’s hands gripping onto her skin through the sweater she wore. She could feel him burying his face into the crook of her neck. She could feel his heartbeat emitting from his chest like claps of thunder in the quiet Monaco night. 
“I’m sorry Mattie. I wanted to call you all day, but I just didn’t know what to say. I knew you had that big meeting with your client this week and I didn’t want you to be distracted, or turn up here… I guess I should have known you’d find out and turn up anyways” Daniel spoke as he slowly pulled away from her. 
Matilda took the time to get a careful look at the man standing in front of her. The usual glowing brown orbs she loved staring into, replaced with bloodshot ones, dark bags making the contrast even more jarring. His smile was empty and false. A large sweatshirt and sweatpants he was wearing made his frame seem smaller than it really was. 
Taking in his words, she frowned “Daniel, please don’t apologise. This is so far from being your fault it’s actually a joke. And don’t worry about me, my clients can wait. You’re more important to me. Always us, remember?”. 
Standing in the moonlight on the doorstep of his apartment Daniel sighed. 
“Yeah baby, always us.”
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alotofpockets · 7 months
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Braids | Yelena Belova
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Pairing: Yelena Belova x Reader (platonic)
Summary: After your best friend Natasha's death, you find solace in her sister.
Warnings: Grieving Natasha's death, struggling with your mental health, alcohol consumption, and more grief.
Masterlist | Marvel masterlist | Words: 1K
Losing Natasha was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to deal with in your life. She had been your best friend for years before she sacrificed herself on Vormir. Losing her had taken a toll on your mental health. When you had first heard what she did you were in denial. Slowly it started registering that you would never see her again. You stopped leaving your bed. While dealing with their own grief, the team tried showing up for you as best as they could. For weeks you lived in a haze, not even registering the team's efforts to keep you company.
The team tried giving you the space you needed at first but when they noticed that losing her was not only affecting your mental health but also your physical health, they decided that they had to force you to get out of your room. Step by step your surroundings started to get less hazy. That is when you noticed that Yelena had moved into the Compound. You had met Yelena a few times but you never really got close since she lived on the other side of the country but now that she was here it was like you gravitated towards her. 
While you had started spending more time outside of your room, you weren’t really talking yet. You didn’t just stop talking about Natasha or your feelings but you had stopped talking all together. It was just easier.
On a restless night you decided to get a midnight snack in the kitchen. That’s when you ran into Yelena, she sat at the kitchen counter, a bottle of vodka in her hand, accompanied by a tear stained face and swollen eyes. You knew exactly how she felt. “Come with me.” You said, your voice shrill from not having spoken for weeks. Yelena follows you up onto the roof of the Compound. You show her the spot where you and Natasha had spent countless hours. A corner of the roof was decorated with waterproof pillows that created a comfortable seating area. It had been a safe haven for both you and Natasha. A place that was only yours.
You sat on one of the pillows and sank into the comfort the place brought you. Yelena joined you and took another swig from her bottle before handing it to you. With a sky filled with stars as your view, you start talking about Natasha. You both cried and laughed that evening, the alcohol in your systems overclouding the vulnerability of the night. 
After that night you and Yelena started getting close. You started grieving Natasha together, which somehow made the grieving easier. There was no getting over the loss of Natasha but you had found comfort in each other. Yelena grew from being a friend to being your family over the next couple of weeks. While the team was also dealing with their own grief, they were glad to see that you and Yelena had found each other, as the two of you had the most similar bond with Natasha. Of course, all the Avengers had their own bonds with Natasha but yours and Yelena’s were deeper. In no way did that mean that the bonds they had were less relevant, just that your grieving process was different.
Six months after you and Yelena had first gotten together on the roof, you still met up with her there at least once a week. It is also where the both of you had decided that you were ready to start working again. Together you had started training again to get your bodies, strength, and reflexes back to where they once were. Once you were cleared for missions again it was only a couple of weeks until you were asked to go on one.
Wanda, Pietro and Yelena were waiting by the Quinjet, ready to leave for the mission. You were supposed to leave five minutes ago but they wanted to give you some extra time. When ten minutes passed, Yelena left to go check on you. She walked into your room and found you standing in front of the mirror with tears running down your cheeks. Yelena rushes to your side, “What’s wrong?” she asks as she takes you into her arms. You struggle with saying the words out loud. “Nat used to braid my hair before every mission.” You finally manage to say between sobs. Yelena continues holding you tight while you cry. 
When you calmed down a little, Yelena walked you over to your bed. “I know it won’t be the same but I can braid your hair. Back when we were kids Natasha and I learned how to braid together, and we would always braid each other's hair. May I?” She asks, reaching out to the brush in your hand. You nod and hand her the brush. 
Yelena starts brushing your hair and the tears start welling in your eyes again. There was no denying the tears, so you let them fall once again. “Do you want me to stop?” Yelena asks softly. “No, please keep going.” She continues brushing your hair and asks how you want your hair. You let her know what you want and she starts braiding. It was another very vulnerable moment you spent with Yelena. She braided your hair in silence, while you cried softly. 
When she finishes the last braid, you lean back into her, seeking more comfort. Yelena wraps her arms around you and provides the comfort that you need. You stay like that for a while, until Yelena asks if you’re ready to go. Together you head to the Quinjet where Wanda and Pietro were waiting for you. You apologize for the delay, but they wave off your apology. In the Quinjet you sit next to Yelena and put your head on her shoulder. The emotions from earlier had drained a lot of your energy. “Go take a nap, I’ll wake you when we’re almost there.” Yelena says as she leans back to give you a more comfortable place to put your head.
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