#in my most depressed teenage years LOL

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 3

CW: angst, reader is a loner, reader works her ass off every day at the lab, fluff, neteyam being cute towards reader (even tho it still has weird vibes lol), mad jealous neteyam, TRIGGER WARNING for depression symptoms (such as being moody n having less appetite than the usual), stalking, obsessive and toxic behavior, also TRIGGER WARNING for reader mentioning the word “suicidal” in an internal monologue (she IS NOT actually suicidal, she just feels really sad and mentions the word. if u read it, you'll know what I mean)

Not proofread. I'll do it as soon as I can ♡ I hope it's a good chapter 🥲 & thank u to everyone who's reading this fanfic, who left a comment in the last chapter and, of course, to everyone who asked to be in the taglist I LOVE Y'ALL 😘💕💕💕

Chapter 2

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Mother looking at me

Tell me, what do you see?

Yes, I've lost my mind

(...)

Will I ever be free?

Have I crossed the line?

All the things she said, running through my head

All the things she said (t.A.T.u)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You woke up feeling like crap that morning.

Your last shift had been so demanding. You had to cook just so much food that you started to wonder if there was anything left in the pantry. You had gone into that room just so many times yesterday to get ingredients and kitchen utensils, your legs felt heavy and sore now, as you stretched them in your small bed.

There were just too many people to eat in that damn laboratory.

Meanwhile you, the cook, barely had any time left to eat. There was always just so much work to do. So many dishes to wash, so many vegetables and meat to cut, bread to prepare from scratch... Your head hurt just thinking about it.

You felt so stressed out that you preferred to unwind a little instead of eating, sometimes. You would find a quiet place, sit somewhere, put your headphones on and press play on one of your many curated playlists or in one of your favorite songs. Listening to music seemed to work like a medicine to your wounds and, going to the cafeteria and having to socialize, to have people all around you felt too much, so, you just tried to avoid it. You even started to lose a little weight because of it. Nothing too much, though. You were only slightly thinner than you used to be. But in the back of your head, there was always a voice saying "Please, take better care of yourself...". Despite knowing that voice was right, you were too tired and apathetic to care.

Ever since you started to Dreamwalk, it was like your whole world had changed. That old life you led did not seem to be enough anymore. It never was, in the first place. It could never compare to the heightened senses you had when you were in your Avatar, helping you smell and hear everything better.

The first time you spent a whole afternoon running alone through the Pandoran forest next to Hell's Gate, you felt alive like you had not felt in years.

But nothing gold can ever stay. Way sooner than you expected, you had to be awakened from that magical dream. Everytime you came out of the technological machine you had to lay inside of to be able to drive your Avatar, you thought "Damn! Why wasn't I born a na'vi? They're so freaking lucky to have such an incredibly beautiful Planet to call their own. If only Earth was still as beautiful as it used to be..."

When you were not in one of your free days, you would always work until you felt exhausted and fed up with everything. It was not a walk in the park to be a cook. Even though you loved cooking since you were a teenager, when you used to always mix different ingredients and spices and create new recipes, this profession forced you to spend most of your time standing up and to have little time to sit and rest your poor fatigued legs. In some days, all you wanted was to sleep for 12 hours straight. And God knows you were capable of actually doing that.

Not a long time ago, you slept so much that, when you eventually woke up, it was 2 pm and you almost got fired from the lab when you finally showed up at the kitchen you were supposed to be in since 6 am.

You promised yourself you would never do that again. You just could not afford to lose that job. And you wanted to cry just thinking about not being able to Dreamwalk anymore. Exploring Pandora was the peak of your life, currently. It was when you felt high as a kite. As funny as it sounded, it was true. You felt euphoria run through your body everytime you got to have blue skin and be over 8 feet tall.

You liked to cook and was good at it, but, you were a smart, intelligent girl who knew much more than people thought you did. Unfortunately, you could not manage to get a higher position at the lab. Your forte was not sciencey stuff. It was subjects like Human History, Languages, Philosophy... At best, you got to use your language learning skills to learn basic na'vi fast and was able to get an Avatar from the lab. At least that was a good thing that your tiring job provided you. God knows that privilege was one of the few things keeping you alive. You goddamn hated you life, your job, everything... All your days seemed to be the same. Same chores, same annoying people... Most scientists did not try to hide that they did not see you as an equal. Even though they were always really polite to you, they would not let you in in their little groups, in their upbeat conversations through the laboratory corridors. You could count in one hand how many of them used to talk to you with genuine interest in hearing what you had to say.

You sat every day next to the less valued lab employees: janitors, cleaning ladies, other cooks just like you and so on. Your race had never been good at realizing the worth that these hardworking people had, anyway. Why would they do it now? You thought it to be so sad...

Those employees were nice regular people. Even thought some of them were idiots and treated you badly, there are people who behave like that anywhere. You were thankful that most of them were polite to you and treated you well enough. You also had a close friendship with one of the female employees, a cute, humble and really kind girl called Crystal. But she was your only actual friend. You did not remember the last time you had made an actual effort to make a friend, to be nice to someone in hopes you could get to know them better and they could become a part of your life. You had to admit you had been really grumpy lately.

You could easily blame such moodiness on your lack of will to keep living that life you currently had. It’s not that you were suicidal, it's just that you wished you could live a better life.

There was also Derek, the tall, cute boy you would make out with every now and then. You did not have a proper name for your relationship with him. He was always lovely towards you and you two would have really interesting conversations together and sneak around to kiss each other and do other types of heated stuff (though you never had sex with him) anytime you both felt like it. But it did not happen that often, anyway. You did not put much thought into it, to be honest. Derek was just a friend you would fool around with. You could not be farther from being in love with him or anything of sorts.

After another tiresome day, you walked fast towards your room. All you could think about was how nice and cozy your bed would feel when you would lay your body on it. Only five minutes after you finally laid down, you fell asleep. Slumber had been bugging you all day. Lately, it had always been like that.

They say you have to be careful what you wish for. That your words and thoughts have power over what happens to you. And you learned it the hard way.

In one of your infamous busy but boring afternoons, something unexpected happened to you.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a na'vi young man appeared outside of your glass window and tapped slightly on it. You almost choked on your own saliva when you saw that huge, blue creature staring at you with wide yellow eyes. A scream got stuck right in the middle of your throat, since you got so startled you could not get your vocal chords to obey the command your brain was sending them. What the hell was that na'vi doing in front of the laboratory? They did not use to come to Hell's Gate. And why was he looking at you through the kitchen window?

The na'vi boy just would not stop staring at you. His gaze was so intense it made you feel unbelievably uncomfortable. Suddenly, he pointed to the left. The big, ample door that led to the open area in front of the room you worked in was right at the same direction his four fingered hand was pointing to. You realized he was signaling to you that he wanted to see you outside of the lab.

You started to say, in your own mind: "What kind of weird situation is this?"

"Please?" You heard the alien plead in fluent English (he only had a typical na'vi accent), his voice coming through the narrow gap that existed between the glass and the window frame. His eyes reminded you of the eyes of a small kitten asking for food.

You got surprised by the fact that he was able to speak English. You wondered why he had learned it and who taught him the language.

You tried to reach for the door to try and inform someone that there was a na'vi around and ask if anybody knew who he was when you heard the alien say:

"Don't go, please! I just want to talk to you! I'm not gonna hurt you."

Your back was turned to him. When you turned around, he was smiling.

"It's incredible how you're even prettier up close."

"I'm sorry?!" You answered

"Oh, forgive me. My name is Neteyam. Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. It's really nice to meet you." He was still smiling.

That name was familiar, Neteyam te Suli... Oh, of course! Neteyam was the son of the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan, Jake Sully. He was very famous between the na'vi and the humans.

Neteyam Suli was one of the most feared na'vi warriors out there. A great archer and very skilled with the knives the Omatikayas made themselves, he fought fearlessly against the recoms, including Colonel Miles Quaritch, an old enemy of his father. Quaritch used to lead the RDA soldiers when he was human, before being "revived" and given an Avatar body. He died in battle against the na'vi. But that did not mean that there was finally peace between humans and the na'vi race.

But why in hell was Neteyam Suli trying to talk to you? It is not like the na'vi liked the humans. On the contrary, they despised your race.

"Uhmm... okay. Nice to meet you..." You tried to be polite and peaceful towards the na'vi boy, like you were advised to be by your teachers, back when you were studying and training to get your Avatar "But I'm sorry, what did you say? That I'm prettier up close?" Your brows were furrowing, your face full of confusion. Despite all, you were calmer now that you knew you could communicate with him in English. Your na'vi was not the best out there.

"Yes." Neteyam's big amber eyes shone when he looked at your face. You were beyond dazed. "I've seen you before. Many times actually. But only from far away. It doesn't compare to seeing you right next to me." His voice had a weird warm feeling in it, like he was already acquainted to you. But how could it be? You did not even know who he was before he revealed his identity to you.

"When did you see me...?" Your mouth was slightly opened, so bewildered you felt

"Don't you wanna come outside so we can talk better?" He said, seeming excited.

"Unfortunately, no. I'm good, thanks." Neteyam looked sad after you declined his offer.

"Why not? I told you, I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." He smiled faintly. You could tell he was hurt by your blunt answer.

It pained you to act like that towards him. You admired the na'vi so much. Damn, you even would choose to be born a na'vi if you somehow could go back in time, before you were inside your mother's womb and you could talk to Eywa herself. But how were you gonna trust him? There were some na'vi out there, his mother, for example, that hated humans with such a boiling passion. What if he took after his mother? You would be in trouble if he tried to kill you. Even though the na'vi were a peaceful by nature race, everyone has a limit, so, you had to be careful when interacting with them. You learned about all the genocide your kind had committed against his kind while simultaneously destroying his Planet slowly, in a cruel, despicable way. You honestly understood the contempt the na'vi felt when it came to humans.

You looked at Neteyam with honesty in your eyes and said:

"Please don't take this the wrong way but I can't really trust you. I know you told me you're not gonna hurt me, but, I'm still human. How can I know you trust me, to begin with?"

"I trust you because you're different. You're nothing like the others from your kind. You're more like my people. And I love that about you." Neteyam said, smiling at you.

"Can you please just tell me how do you know me? Because I've never seen you before. I've only heard about you because you're the Olo'eyktan's eldest son and Olo'eyktan to be. But you talk to me like you somehow... know me. I'm really confused, Neteyam." He felt his heart race when he heard you pronounce his name. Your voice sounded so sweet to his sensitive na'vi ears, making him move them somewhat to the sides. It was the same voice he heard in the forest, when he watched you talk to yourself saying how beautiful you thought some yellow, bioluminescent flower that you saw in the grass was.

"You're a Dreamwalker. I've seen you around. I love how much you seem to appreciate and respect my Planet instead of destroying it like the others from your kind do. That's why I think you're more na'vi than human." He chuckled happily and you got confused by his last sentence.

You had to admit he looked cute when his fangs escaped from under his upper lip whenever he smiled or chuckled. But you felt so weird thinking that.

"I'm more na'vi than human?" You were intrigued "What do you mean?" You laughed a bit and he continued on staring at you in an intense manner.

Neteyam heard footsteps approaching, so, he started to move just so he could hide. He did not want any other human but you seeing him. He knew he could not trust them as he could trust you.

"Wait! Where are you -" before you could finish your words, he was already gone.

The brown wooden door behind you opened and Derek appeared carrying a pile of plates in his arms.

"Hey, cutie." He walked towards the sink, leaving the dirty dishes there to be washed by himself when he would be back in the kitchen.

"Hi, Derek." You smiled faintly. You were still recovering from that odd interaction you had with Neteyam Sully.

Derek came close to your ear and whispered:

"Feel like meeting me tonight? I miss you." You sighed

"I don't know... I'm not really in the mood, sorry." You answered, uninterested

He got a little surprised by your answer and moved his eyebrows up, making wrinkles appear in his forehead but quickly remembered he had much work to do outside, so, he walked towards the door and got out of the room without saying another word to you.

Neteyam was still out there, next to the window, leaning against the wall. He was listening to the conversation the whole time. He had to use all the self control he learned to have with the years to not hiss when he heard that human call you "cutie" and ask if you wanted to meet him tonight. Who was he, anyway? And why was he saying he missed you? Neteyam had never seen you show any sign that he was your mate before. He had to find out what was going on. Neteyam would not let anyone get between the both of you. It would not be a weak human male that would be the obstacle that would make him give up on his future mate. He was used to challenges and was not afraid of another one. That would probably even be fun. Neteyam could imagine that tiny mate of yours shivering in fear when he showed him his big, sharp fangs.

Neteyam decided he was gonna find out who the hell that mate of yours was. He was sure he was not better than him. That human male would never be as strong as he was. That human would never be able to hunt fresh food for you, walking through the forests of Pandora and confronting big, dangerous animals, like Neteyam would. He knew he outbraved that human. He could never be a good mate to you like Neteyam could be. You deserved better than him.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @xxunnie @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri

I tagged some of you that did not ask to be tagged but left really cute comments on the last chapter that made my heart feel warm 💓 if u don't wanna be tagged, just lemme know

Also, if someone wants to be added to the taglist too just leave a comment below saying that 🤍

#neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x dreamwalker!reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader #neteyam x omatikaya!reader #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x human #neteyam angst #neteyam sully #atwow neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam suli x reader #neteyam sully x you #neteyam sully x human reader #neteyam sully x na’vi!reader #neteyam sully x y/n #kxamtxomaw writes

[vivmaek]

THE PLUTO IN SAGITTARIUS GENERATION Born at the start of Globalization, November 10, 1995 - January 25, 2008

I’ve been talking a lot of shit on here about the Pluto in Sagittarius generation. And while I still think my irritations are justified (lol,) I gotta make it up by doing a complete breakdown. Afterall, this is the generation I belong to. 

1995: NASA's Galileo spacecraft arrives at Jupiter

With Pluto in Sagittarius, this is a generation full of creatives, visionaries, academics, philosophers and rebels. We’re all about big ideas and moral philosophy. We’ve had the internet within our fingertips our entire lives, an unlimited database of knowledge and social interconnectivity. I remember a teacher once told me that we were the most educated group of humans humanity has ever seen. And this is true, by middle school many of us were walking around with cellphones in our pockets more powerful than computers built in the 80’s. Through technology, we were able to discover the world at an incredibly young age. 

We have a lot in common with the Pluto in Leo generation (Baby Boomers,) being that both generations are ruled by fire signs. However what differentiates us is that the Pluto in Leo generation is focused on the self (Sun,) and the Pluto in Sagittarius generation is focused on the collective (Jupiter.) We project a sense of optimism despite having such large ambitions. This will serve as an inspiration for future generations. 

Most of us have parents belonging to the Pluto in the Libra Generation. They raised us with values centered on equality and justice. 

We grew up amongst explosive world events: First Internet Meme (1996), Google (1998), Columbine (1998), The Second Congo War (1998), Kosovo Genocide (1999), Launch of International Space Station (2000), 9/11 (2001), Invasion of Iraq (2003), Darfur (2003), Boxing Day Tsunami (2004), Facebook (2004), London Bombings (2005), iPhone (2007), America's first black President (2008), Global Economic Downturn (2008).

Pluto in Capricorn frames our coming of age story. Our teenage years were harsh and depressing. It was an isolating experience that did not involve much fun. For many people born with a Sagittarius Pluto, their adolescence is defined by a Global Pandemic in which all movement was restricted. These years also put into focus old frameworks that must be destroyed and cast aside. We feel punished, and now we are angry. 

The Pluto In Scorpio Generation is coming through and uprooting all these frameworks before passing the torch onto us. We will be the ones to come up with blueprints for new ideologies and ways of thinking. We’re aiming forward and casting an arrow for future generations to follow. 

Past events that occurred while Pluto was in Sagittarius: The Burning of the Library of Alexandria (272), first novel published in Japan (1010), Sorbonne founded (1257), first use of eyeglasses (1268), Columbus sets sail (1502), the birth of Nostradamus (1503), invention of sign language (1749), the first encyclopedia (1751).  

Past figures born while Pluto was in Sagittarius: Constantine I (272), Dante Aligheri (1265), Goethe (1749), James Madison (1751), Alexander Hamilton (1755), Marie Antoinette (1755), Mozart (1756,) William Blake (1757), Robespierre (1758).

#pluto in sagittarius #sagittarius pluto #astrology #astrology placements #astro community #astro observations #birth chart #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology tumblr #natal chart #natal astrology #Sagittarius #astrology signs #astrological observations #astrology notes #astro placements #astrology facts #birth chart placements #birth chart readings #birth chart analysis #natal chart analysis #natal chart reading #pluto #pluto astrology #pluto placement #pluto placements #generation z #gen z

[ghost-bxrd]

Hello. In the final end notes of ‘What You’re Longing For (you claim to abhor)’ you mention the goons picking up the wrong clues from the Entire Mess of the final chapter. Is there any chance you’d be willing to expand more on that?

Additionally, I find myself curious: in the time after the fic, would Talia ever kidnap Jason for a bit of family bonding time(probably murdering dudes in the middle of nowhere or something, but still.)

Thank you for your time,

Desire

Hi! I’m not sure if this is a follow up request you’d like to feature in Ghost Stories so I’ll just list some of my thoughts here 💚

So Dave, Jones and McKenzie are a very very tight knit little group that established itself after being hired by the Red Hood. Despite working as goons, they each have their own moral compass that perfectly aligns with Hood’s rules. Consequently, they ended up being Jason’s most loyal and trusted underlings.

Jason didn’t intend to get attached to the three but he did and as a result let slip some personal info form time to time. Jones, Dave and McKenzie all made a game out of collecting clues to Hood’s real identity and background to the point where they’d sit down after work and pool their information. They’ve got a pinboard and everything lol.

Sadly Jason’s life was depressing af for the most part so the things he accidentally mentioned didn’t paint a very pretty picture. And when he used typical teenage slang one too many times Dave correctly inferred that their boss is much younger than any of them originally thought.

So in the end they had hundreds of little clues that all added up to the following (in their mind):

1. Red Hood is actually anywhere from 20-28 years old (+/- a couple years) and not a fourty-something rogue with plans of grandeur

2. Hood was abused as a kid

3. Hood hates Batman

4. Hood hates Robin and Nightwing but not as much as Batman

5. Hood hates Robin but still mother hens him like crazy and seems reluctant to let him go back to the Bat every time

6. Hood is a young guy with better training and tactical thinking than a trained navy seals soldier

7. Hood is intimately aware of how the Bats operate,l fight, and think

Conclusion: Batman used to train Hood and was also the one who abused him—> he’s concerned the same thing is now happening to Robin.

So yeah, that’s pretty much the train of thought they’re having right now. So while Dave, Jones and McKenzie definitely won’t shoot Robin (or Nightwing), they’ll definitely try to gun down Batman.

At least until Jason remembers to retract the order lol. (After which they reluctantly stop shooting at Batman but still not-so-subtly drop hints that they’d absolutely have Hood’s back if he ever needs help with the asshole. Jason doesn’t know what all the fuss is about all of a sudden.)

As for the “would Talia ever kidnap Jason for family time” question:

Yes. Absolutely. And if Talia was busy Ra’s would show up and do it instead.

The al Ghuls adopted Jason into the family. No takebacksies. And while they think Bruce’s overprotectiveness of Jason is amusing (and totally warranted given Jason’s penchant for getting himself into trouble) they draw the line at being barred from seeing their precious sons/grandsons.

So yeah, Bruce and Dick have to deal with Damian and Jason disappearing for a couple days every two months at least.

The first time it happened Bruce, Dick and Tim all lost their minds with panic and when Jason and Dami returned it was to a frantic batfam and the entire JLA in Gotham, on the hunt for Hood and his assassin baby brother ksksks

#what you’re longing for you claim to abhor #ghost talks #musings #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #tim drake #red hood #batman

[adelheidvonschicksal]

I don't even like thinking about toji taking megumis girl. Like, in my mind he's trying to atone 😪

Yes!!! Let’s talk about it!

He loves ‘Gumi so much. He was just having a bit of a ✨ emotional breakdown ✨ during that whole selling him off deal. And personally I was coming off the Shouto train so it hits twice as hard cause he always gets his GF taken by Endeavor or Dabi (sometimes Bakugo), which Dabi makes sense since he HATES Shouto. But post-atonement Enji 😭I totally get the kink though (tbh I kinda like it in reverse 🤭). There’s actually a really GOOD fic I like called U&I with Bully!Megumi and you sleep with Toji to kinda get back at him after finding out he’s been using you. I like the revengeful ones or when it’s a 2-parter and they find out what you did.

BUT I DIGRESS, okay so I got some big brainrot and I was half asleep and started thinking about it and ahh! Plus I didn't post for his birthday so this is like the most slap together, grammarless of my brain rotting (and you brought it about Nonnie, so you gotta take responsibility lol) but:

»»———-　　———-««

(SFW) Imagine okay, like a modern AU: Toji is trying to be a better dad after the endless benders after losing his wife. He went from floating from random woman to woman, trying to catch that feeling again like when he was with his first wife. It always devolves into the same thing with him squeezing them dry for every penny he can get before moving on to the next with Megumi in tow. Sometimes it didn’t include Megumi, Toji would leave him alone for weeks to months at a time as he got older, occasionally bringing home some new mom that he’ll eventually abandon at the end of the day or that eventually gets tired of him; tired of both of them because Megumi refused to be nice to anyone Toji brought home.

But it finally hits him to be better, to try to be a good parent. Sadly, it’s too late. Megumi is a teenager now, one year from graduating high school and going to college, where Toji will definitely not have any chance to atone. He doesn’t blame the kid, it’s his own fault.

However, he sees a lot of himself in his son. The apathy that borders depression, the lone wolf attitude, the quietness and independent streak, the very small number of friends (if any, because Megumi NEVER brings anyone over or talks about school at all, usually avoids talking to him in general). He isn’t really sure what to say to the kid, not that he’s figured it all out himself or that Megumi would even listen to him. Indifference was the best he could hope for most of the time.

Then one day, he shows up at home with someone. A girl, even. And you’re cute, way too chipper to be following around his wallflower of a kid. Always entering and leaving with a “Hi, Mr. Fushiguro. Bye, Mr. Fushiguro. Looking good today, Mr. Fushiguro. Love the haircut, Mr. Fushiguro. Rocking that sweater, Mr. Fushiguro. Have a good day, Mr. Fushiguro.”

You seem too good for nobodies like them; and when he teases Megumi with the notion, his son claims you’re just his class partner for this semester, nothing else. But Toji sees how soft he gets around you, the little bit of extra effort he puts in trying to make conversation when you’re over, the blush and grouchy embarrassed complaints he makes whenever Toji tells him to leave his room door open when you guys work on projects in there. The complaints usually get a little quieter given the right laugh from you.

You have a good effect. Megumi seems a little less tense, walking the world with a little less cynicism even though it’s still clearly there. He starts hanging out with two other kids from his school, Megumi claims they’re your friends, not his, but Toji has seen the pink haired boy over twice without you. Overall, you all seem like a really good kids.

One weekend you pop because you and your friends were in the neighborhood and wanted to see if Megumi wanted to join in on whatever you’re doing. Unfortunately, Megumi’s not home, but it gives Toji a small window to prod you a little about your relationship with Megumi. He’s observant enough to notice by now that the two of you like each other but he just wanted to hear it from you, and you make the most darling lovesick face when he asks. As far as he can piece together, you’re not dating officially but the entire world treats you as you are.

When Megumi finds out what happened though. He doesn’t like it, and he makes it clear that the interference was highly unappreciated it. Toji is simply sitting in the kitchen and trying to enjoy his apple, and he’s getting the interrogation treatment by this little gremlin (affectionately) half his size.

“What were the two of you talking about?” “Nothing in particular.” “If you don’t need anything then don’t bother her.” “Why? You don’t want me speaking to her?” “No. She isn’t your type anyway.”

Then, Megumi starts going off on a tangent of why Toji shouldn’t be interested. You’re too young, you're still months off from 18, you don’t have any money for him to leech, and there’s no way you can decide on a movie together with that age gap; 'You’ll kick the bucket 30 years before her' is the meanest one though.

Based on the disrespect, it still looks like Toji has a lot of work to put in but it’s almost cute, in an grouchy, bratty (also affectionately) sea urchin type way that he’s getting so worked up over you. He thinks the kid will combust if he mentions that he does think you’re cute (in an overly energetic bubbly kind of way), and it makes him release a short chuckle as he resists the intrusive thought, which only serves to make Megumi’s frustration even worse.

Normally, he'd get tired at this point and ask if Megumi was done mouthing off yet, but this time it makes him glad to see Megumi getting so worked up over something. It’s a good feeling to know his actions didn’t completely ruin his son, that he didn't completely destroy Megumi's ability to care about life like his former family and the world had once done to him. It makes smile the tiniest bit even as Megumi seems to try to trudge away after making his point. Whatever point there was to be had. The boy is such a chronic overthinking about everything and everyone, including if you’re one of those girls at the school that squeal when they see him pick him up at school on the rare occasion.

“Hey,” Toji calls out to get his attention. “Do you know what you’re doing?” It’s not the best words but it’s the only way to sum up the familiar feelings he gets of his past, right after he left his family, right before he met Megumi’s mom. And after losing her without ever really making the most of everything back then and treasuring the moments together. “It’s hard to find something like that. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

He can sense the tension draining from Megumi, the panic and shaky nervousness from seconds ago leaving in the form of drooped shoulders and a soften, mildly confused expression as he looks back at him. Something seems to finally click in that overly worked brain of the younger Fushiguro and he mumbles, “I know.”

And Megumi gets that look again, that quiet one, too caught up in his own head.

"Do I need to make room for a daughter-in-law in that case?" he asks lazily before taking another bite of his apple, the chewing echoing. It's enough to earn some grumbles and a red face. He smirks when the boy quickly decides to hobble back to his room and hide away in embarassment. Like a normal kid.

And Toji thinks that maybe…a small maybe… that maybe they’ve gotten a little closer. If only in that moment. Regardless, he really hopes that the talk is one of those things the school already covered because he really doesn’t want to be responsible for that.

#megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fluff #female reader

[pippin-katz]

Hey!

Why does Henry rebuff Alex during their first meeting? Like when Alex greets him, he walks away ignoring him.. What's the theory there?

I'm kinda new here and if this was already discussed or known, my apologies 😊

No prob! I like explaining things, even if it's obvious or everyone is like "we know already". My little neurodivergent brain gets happy when I make neat essays with GIFs and sections and whatnot lol

Post Writing Note: once again, this very simple question with a fairly simple answer turned into a fucking essay and I am so sorry lmfao, I know I said I like making them but I did not intend this to be a long one!! You have been warned!!

Foreword Regarding The Canon

I, and I assume most viewers who have also read the book, interpret the film's canon to be a combination of the film's events, and parts of the book that we didn't see, but could've happened anyway. Things like what was said in the emails, Bea's history with drug abuse, Pez' foundation, and whatnot are sort of meshed together with the film in my mind; just because the film didn't have the time to show it to us does not mean it did not happen in that version of their world. I say this cause I'm going to be discussing both the book and the film.

Also a key: Pink - internal dialogue from the book Red - Alex's dialogue in both versions Blue - Henry's dialogue in both versions

Establishing The Basics

I assume you’re referring to this moment during the greeting line:

Side note: Alex’s face at the end never fails to make me laugh 😂

While this is their first interaction in the film, it’s not their first meeting, as they explain that they met at the Melbourne Climate Conference a few years ago. In the book, they met in Rio at the Olympics when they were teenagers. The only difference this makes is that they're more mature in the film than the book, but it doesn't change much.

The beats for how their first meeting went are practically identical.

Alex approached Henry to introduce himself. Henry, who was dealing with his grief and depression after his father’s passing, was an ass.

He looks at him unkindly; in the film, Alex describes it as: “like he had head lice”, and in the book, Alex describes it as: “like I was the most offensive thing you had ever seen”. Either way, he looked at him in a way that visibly communicated a dislike or lack of respect for him.

Then he turns to Shaan and says he needs to leave, though the wording is different between book and film. In the film, he says, “I need to get out of here” -which Alex mishears as "get me out of here"- while in the book, he says, “Can you get rid of him?”.

Henry Meeting Alex

Admittedly, the line from the book is far more rude, but Henry does explain far later -after Alex storms Kensington Palace and they agree that they’re committed to being together- through an email what he was thinking during their first meeting. I see no reason for these thoughts to be any different in the film's context, as the reason for Henry's behavior is still rooted in his depression and trauma surrounding his father's death. They're also relevant to understanding Henry's behavior.

You might have seen edits or mentions of this email because it’s one of the most memorable.

Henry explains he had been dealing with his trauma by basically compartmentalizing the most impactful -mostly negative- events of his life into “rooms”. He puts those moments into “rooms” in his head, based on the layout of Buckingham Palace. He chooses which room based on how traumatic or impactful it was; two examples he mentions are losing his virginity in college, which he shoves it into “the smallest, most cramped little broom cupboard” he could find, and the night his father died, which he puts in “the biggest room, a ballroom, wide open and dark, windows drawn and covered”.

But when he saw Alex for the first time, he felt such a strong reaction that he took it “down to the gardens” and “pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase”. He quite memorably says, “It didn’t fit in any rooms.”

Then he describes what Alex looked like, and how he was talking to Nora and June, and how he was so animated, happy, and beautiful, and Henry was in a dark place, and felt like he couldn't experience life the same way.

Here's the most popular/remembered bit: "I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire."

Henry basically pushed Alex away on purpose because on top of all the trauma he was experiencing, he was convinced he would ruin him, if you will, and that he didn't deserve someone like Alex.

Alex Meeting Henry

It's easy looking back with the knowledge we have now to wonder why Henry didn't just approach Alex, provide an explanation for his behavior (doesn't have to be his father, any justifiable reason would've worked), and apologize the very next time they saw each other.

But it's important to remember that this was their first ever interaction with each other. Henry was feeling a ton of different emotions, but so was Alex.

Alex is a smart, but stubborn, person. He develops very strong opinions fast, that may make sense, but sometimes fails to consider the alternatives. It's sort of like the two sides of his brain work at different speeds. He's very smart, but sometimes his emotional bias can blind him to fairly obvious things that would change his opinion.

For example, Alex sees Henry as rude, smug, entitled, and a snob, which are all inherently false notions. However, based on his one meeting with him, those aren't unfounded assumptions for him to make.

If you look at it purely from Alex's perspective, not knowing anything about Henry's depression and the depths of his struggle with grief, Henry does act and sound incredibly rude to Alex. Giving someone a nasty look when they introduce themselves to you and then immediately requesting to get out of the conversation, screams: "I don't care about your existence".

Couple that with the fact that Henry is a white, blue-eyed (in the book), blond who was born into royalty, and Alex is a working class person of color who has had to run himself into the ground to get to where he is.

That is the perfect set up for Henry's behavior to be interpreted worse than just rude. All of that information can logically add up to the assumption: Henry is an elitist, racist, asshole.

Before They Met

Alex also secretly admired Henry when he was younger. This wasn't translated to the screen, but like I mentioned, it's something I think of as happening in that universe anyway, just slightly differently.

June gets a teen magazine for her fifteenth birthday; since June isn't part of the film's canon, I can headcanon that this was Nora instead, since she's sort of a combination of the two characters for the movie. All the details don't really matter, but I know someone would be like "but that didn't happen in the movie-" and I just don't feel like explaining that to each comment I end up getting.

There's a teen magazine with a picture of Henry in it. It's a candid picture that captured his actual essence rather than the stuffy pictures Alex had seen on the news. He describes it, saying, "there was a happy, sun-bright confidence to him that couldn't be posed".

Alex definitely developed an unconscious crush on him, not realizing it until later. He would keep going back to the magazine and to the page with him on it. He would touch his hair in the picture, trying to imagine how it felt. He considered prying the stables apart and taking just that page to hide in his room.

As his parents started getting higher in the government, Henry also became his role model. He wanted to match the easy confidence he seemed to have.

But then he met him, and the fantasy he had of him was shattered by how rude Henry was.

The tabloids and news are always comparing Alex to him, which he mentions in the film to Nora in the car. He resents the fact that he's compared to Henry when he has every advantage, if you will, but he also resents that he ever wanted to be like Henry in the first place, having convinced himself now that he was a fake, boring, obnoxious prick.

Because Alex doesn't not know about Henry's dad, but its something he thought about more as a bullet point on his fact sheet rather than considering it any further.

Henry's depression is more explicitly explored in the book, since they have the time to go into all those details. He isolates himself, and has insomnia like he mentioned in the movie, but he also takes medication, and Alex makes a mention of a "tense little grimace Henry does in public" that he thought was him being aloof.

Once Henry mentions his father's passing during their conversation in the hospital closet, Alex's brain puts everything together very fast. He's not stupid, and in the book even says, "He's been aware for too long that most people don't navigate thoughts of whether they'll ever be good enough or if they're disappointing the entire world. He's never considered Henry might feel any of the same things."

Antagonizing Each Other

However, that is all information Alex doesn't have at the wedding. They don't say exactly how many times they've spoken in either version, just that they have met a few times since their first introduction.

Alex, on top of dealing with the comparisons, is convinced that Henry doesn't like him either. The quote from the books is: "The most annoying thing of all is Alex knows Henry hates him too-he must, they're naturally mutual antagonists-but he refuses to outright act like it."

He actively antagonizes him whenever they are at the same event. It's implied in the film when Henry describes him as "the world's most irritating person", but the book makes it clear that Alex is always the one to attack first, if you will.

As soon as Alex goes over to him at the wedding, we can see Henry visibly react in a way that implies he's bothered but has to pretend so they don't cause a scene. His expressions say, "oh here we go 🙄". Henry knows that Alex is going to pick a fight with him. It happens every time they run into each other.

This interaction in the book is pretty iconic and it does a great job of showing what I'm describing. Alex gets drunk and approaches Henry and while they're talking, Henry notices. He suggests Alex switch to water after he makes a lot of rude comments about him pretending to be more important than everyone and pretending to hate the attention the media gives him.

"Should I?" Alex says. He pushes aside the thought that maybe the wine is what gave him the nerve to stomp over to Henry in the first place and makes his eyes as coy and angelic as he knows how. "Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you."

"Do you know what?" Henry says. "I think you are."

Alex's mouth drops open, while the corner of Henry's turns smug and almost a little mean.

"Only a thought," Henry says, tone polite. "Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again." He takes a sip of his champagne. "Simply an observation."

"What? I'm not-" Alex stammers. "You're the-"

"Have a lovely evening, Alex," Henry says tersely, and turns to walk off.

It drives Alex nuts that Henry thinks he gets to have the last word, and without thinking, he reaches out and pulls Henry's shoulder back.

You know what happens from there.

Their conversation in the film is slightly different, but it carries the same beats as the book: Alex approaching Henry, he pretends to be nice while saying something rude, Henry starts retaliating against the comments, Henry tries to walk away, and Alex tries to stop him. In the book, Alex just stumbles when Henry turns back around really fast. He gets tripped up and starts falling, and just like in the movie, he grabs Henry to trying and keep himself upright. The icing on the jacket bit was added into the movie, which I have to say was a brilliant addition.

Back to their conversation, remember that Henry doesn't dislike Alex, rather he's had a crush on him since they met. But Alex has made his opinions very clear, and Henry is not a pushover. He doesn't engage him, but returns the energy he's given. When Alex is rude, he's rude back, but he doesn't start the fight.

I imagine that any attempt Henry could've made to explain or apologize for the Climate Conference/Olympics would have been squashed before he even had the chance by Alex's need to insult him. They also only ever see each other at very public events, so he can't ask why Alex doesn't like him; that's partly why he does it when they're stuck in the broom closet at the hospital.

They're completely alone and have nowhere to go, and it's probably been eating him alive every time he's thought about Alex for the last few years. Even if he doesn't like the answer, he knows that he will get an answer, so he asks.

Why Does Henry Walk Away?

This all being said, back to the moment in question:

The most common interpretation of this interaction is that Henry walks away because 1) he doesn't want to start anything, & 2) he has a raging crush on Alex, and he can't deal with it.

Now, Alex does start off playing nice here, being friendly and polite, but it's a reoccurring issue between them that even if things start off civil, Alex will end up antagonizing him.

They also both "know" that "the other hates them", so they both probably want to avoid each other.

Henry knows that Alex doesn't like him. He doesn't know why Alex doesn't like him, but he's well aware of the animosity. Therefore, he knows that Alex's politeness is a front.

He has a crush on him. He likes Alex, but he's gotten basically nothing but disdain from him since they met. That has to hurt, to have the person you like actively hate you. It also has to hurt knowing that they're pretending to be friendly.

Because Alex is pretending here. He's representing his mother, the President of the United States, at a massive foreign event. He knows better than to act up, so even if he doesn't like him, he is polite with his greeting.

After Henry brushes him off again, he's visibly pissed off, but he doesn't do anything. He avoids him. He stands off to the side, and sort wanders around alone, just drinking and feeling anxious. He has no intention of starting a conflict.

The only reason Alex approaches Henry is because he gets wasted drunk. This is the same in the book. While he was able to control himself before, once he's drunk, he just goes with his first impulses. One of those is to piss Henry the fuck off the second he sees him.

The book says, "[Henry] looks politely half-interested in that obnoxious way of his, like he has somewhere else to be. And Alex can't resist the urge to call his bluff."

This is to say that if Alex hadn't gotten as drunk as he did, he probably would've avoided Henry for the evening. Alex always seeks him out to provoke him, but like I said, he's aware of how important this event is. He does not want to start anything because it could reflect poorly on his mother. But Henry has no reason to think Alex will behave any differently than he has in the past, which he ends up being right about.

So to finally answer your question: Henry walking away was his attempt to avoid the conflict, as well as spare himself the emotional torture that would be watching the person you like be friendly with you, when you know it's fake and that they actually hate you.

Holy fuck, I could've told you that in two sentences but instead it turned into a whole fucking essay for NO REASON! Geez, just why? Why am I like this? lmfao 😭

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #rwrb thoughts #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry hanover stuart fox #henry fox mountchristen windsor #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #katz questions

[angstics]

@uranium Yes!!!! for the longest time i felt the same until recently. thinking about it like this actually made me like teenagers quite a bit lol. my interpretation is that most if not all the record is the patient’s memories while awake. the end of sleep is a little interlude to him in the present literally falling asleep, not just wanting the “final sleep”. then teenagers is this fever-dream nightmare about his neglected teen years that is more weird and creepy than depressing. the shift works for me because theres a barrier. the dream world would have a different tone and sound (relatively clear + unlayered) to the rest of the waking world / album. he wakes up and it shifts back with disenchanted (during which he directly reflects on the dream / teenagers). idk if it was intentional while recording (which i learned yesterday they did in tracklist order) but it’s such a perfect way to incorporate your radio friendly single lol

#mcr #mcr music analysis

[writerslittlelibrary]

(Little vent post lol. Tw: Talks of suicide)

Does anyone else just feel really hopeless? I turned 17 like two weeks ago, and I feel like I'm wasting my life. I graduated school last year and I didn't know what to study so I took a gap year. I keep feeling like I'm wasting my teenage years because I'm not doing anything with my life. Most days, I just stay in my room, scrolling on my phone or writing stories. Sure, I babysit every week, but besides that, I don't really do anything.

My mom and my brother keep pestering me about the fact that I'm lazy. They keep saying that I have to go so things with my life. My dad keeps saying that I have to find something to do as well. He keeps pushing his own spiritual beliefs on me, saying I need to do certain retreats and meditations and stuff. He says that these are the best years of my life. That I have the time and I should do something with it.

Honestly, I keep feeling pressured about the fact that I'm supposed to do something with my time, which, in turn, only makes me waste more of it. It's like I'm frozen from doing things. All the days just blend together and I don't feel any purpose.

The truth is, I never felt any purpose in my life. I thought about suicide a lot when I was younger, and I still consider it sometimes. I don't think that it is something I would actually do, but the thought that I can feels like a nice fail safe.

If these are truly the best years of my life, then I'm certain that this life isn't one I want to lead. My life has sucked since I was 13, which was in 2020, and although I'm not as depressed anymore as I was then, I'm not happy. I don't like this life that I live and I'm terrified that it's one I'm going to have to live until I die.

I do know about shifting, and for 4 years, it has been the thing that has kept me going. The thought of leaving this reality and being in one where I can be happy is comforting. I don't care about leaving this reality behind, and I don't care much about leaving my family. I guess it makes me heartless, but it's just something I don't struggle with.

However, I haven't shifted yet, and every day, my belief that it exists weakens, and I'm a little closer to giving up. I know I can't give up. Shifting feels like the only way I can ever be happy.

I wasn't meant for a life like this. I get no joy out of living. Doing fun things doesn't last for me, and I can't really access memories. When something happens, it's fun, but when it's over, it's gone. My brother seems happy, and so does my mom, but I just feel lost. Life has no purpose for me, yet my only purpose is to leave it.

(Sorry for the people getting a notification and thinking I posted another story. I'll get a new one out before friday:))

[val-the-bookworm]

Nicky Valentino (from Fictif) is an absolute comfort character for me, which means I’ve collected some information about him!

I just feel like I need to share what I’ve gathered with others who might be interested! Feel free to comment any other facts/headcannons/etc you guys have, I love to hear what other people think or picked up!

First off, here is a list of actual facts that can be found in the story or stated by the authors of TATW:

* The story takes place some time after April 1925 (cause Nicky knew about The Great Gatsby), but before August 1929 (because the story takes place before The Great Depression) - which is a 4 year 4 month time difference

* Possibly before 1928 (which is when phones changed from the candlestick) — that would make it a 3 year time gap

* He keeps a small tin of dog treats in his breast pocket incase he stumbles upon a stray

* There was a 3 year age gap between him and his sister

* His birthday is on November 12th.

* Nicky's favourite animal is the wolf.

* Nicky’s zodiac is Scorpio.

* His favourite colour is blue.

* His favourite alcoholic drink is whiskey.

* His favourite dishes are lobster, PB&J and anything made by MC.

* His favourite books are This Side Of Paradise and The Sun Also Rises.

* He was born in Sicily, Italy. Grew up in South Brooklyn

* Nicky is Catholic.

* His crimes include bootlegging, racketeering, obstruction of justice and loansharking.

* He did not enjoy his first time.

* His first kiss was when he was 15.

* His celebrity crush is Gloria Swanson.

* His dad kicked him out of the house for dressing like a gangster.

* He used to shine shoes as a teenager.

* In Chapter 9, two of his other henchmen are named/called Johnnyboy and Richie.

* In Chapter 10, it's revealed that he has made several charitable donations to a homeless shelter, a boys and girls club, and the church he went to as a kid.

* HE SINGS SWANEE TO MC WHILE THEY DANCE ON A BRIDGE AT NIGHT (I absolutely adore this song, so I about passed out when I read this scene lol)

* He is big reader and likes to learn from the books

* He grew up with big dogs

* If he wasn’t a gangster he would own a dog rescue center or be a model

* He is left handed

* His parents are from the country

* He had lots of nightmares as a kid

* His sister, Sofia, loved daisies

* Central Park is one of his favorite places in the city

* He prefers blackjack over poker

* This man straight up had flower crowns for us to wear and dance in before the wedding (I’d like to think he made them with the help of a maid who taught him)

Now some of my personal headcannons:

* When Mc and him are riding together he sits in the seat diagonal to the driver, cause that is the most dangerous seat in the mob world

* An Italian pet name Nicky calls MC is ‘Cara Mia’ which translates to my dear

* If Nicky and Mc have a daughter they would name her Sofia in memory his little sister.

* Definitely has some children’s books scattered among his bookshelf, considering he said…

* He would most definitely do that thing where his kid stands on top of his feet and then dances them around the room

* Would be so down to adopt kids. Growing up on the streets, and having a horrible father, make him want to help all of the children in a similar position

* Would definitely want a big Italian family (if Mc was also down) cause he find family so important, and it makes him so happy to see their children. If Mc only wanted one kid though he would totally be fine, he is just so soft for the family dynamic and his kids

* (Ultrasounds weren’t a thing until the 1950’s, but let’s say they were created sooner) Nick would 110% tear up/cry seeing the first ultrasound, and once the baby is born and in Mc/his hands for the first time

* He LIVES for the cute domestic stuff. Like just cuddling and/or talking: ✅ Washing dishes together: sold! Making breakfast for Mc/together: a must!

* Nick has bi-wife energy and no one can convince me otherwise

* This man’s love language is 110% acts of service

And finally my last category for this list; all of the nicknames he calls MC:

* Toots

*honey

*(my)love

*sugar

*gorgeous

*baby

*sweetheart

*my one and only

*doll face

*sweet thing

*sweets

*my queen

#fictif #tatw #nicky tatw #fictif tatw #nicky valentino #two against the world #fictif headcanons #fictif nicky #fictif nicky valentino #fictif two against the world

[polyhexian]

I like how the eventually AU gives Camila the opportunity to get another adult's perspective on Luz and the Boiling Isles during the human realm stay. Like, no offense to the kids, but when you're a parent and you're trying to determine if your child is in an okay situation, you're going to put a bit more value on the insights of a fellow adult than those of a bunch of teenagers. Let alone when the situation is that your kid had a secret summer-long stay in another dimension.

So I'm imagining one of the rare moments they get to talk when there's no kids around cuz they're all out trying to build a portal door or something, and it's like

Camila: I've just been so worried about Luz, she's always had trouble fitting in, she's never had any real friends, her teachers don't like her, it's hard for her to focus on things she's not interested in and she has trouble applying herself, I know she's smart but her grades are all over the place, she'd rather think about her fantasy worlds instead of do anything to engage with or prepare for living in the real one - except it turns out she's found a REAL fantasy world? And I'm not sure if that makes things better or worse.

Jasper: Uh, your daughter has made several very close friends and is generally accepted by the entire student body, she rediscovered an ancient type of magic usage that everyone forgot about ages ago, her teachers love her, she successfully convinced her principal to LET students study multiple tracks despite wild magic having been forbidden for fifty years, she's handled every adventure and scrape she's ever gotten into beautifully, she routinely surprises and impresses her mentor Eda the Owl Lady who was up until recently one of the most powerful people on the Isles, she broke Amity free of her parents' toxic influence and successfully deprogrammed my son out of a cult, she's friendly and creative and brilliant and everyone who knows her is extremely grateful to have her in their life.

Camila: …

Jasper: …

Both: Are we talking about the same kid?

Which is GREAT

what I love so much about Luz is how much she blossomed in this world and how much her old one stunted her. Makes me crazy that she finished human high school for whatever reason before moving permanently to the isles. I like to think Camila would see that her daughter belonged where she was happy, that the right place for her was, as much as it hurt, not here. And she would rather her be happy than be with her. Obviously she still sees her all the time but like. Luz is herself, all the way, without apology, in the world she found, and she is loved there and understood there. I think vee and Luz make such awesome- foils? Parallels? In that way. Both were brought up in these worlds that suffocated them and stepped into a place where they blossomed, where they could be genuinely truly happy. Vee had only lived in the human realm a few months when the rest of the crew showed up but she'd already fully adapted to human realm stuff! The same way Luz immediately just adapted to everything witchy. Amity and Willow panic at the sight of an alarm clock. Vee is already so familiar with this world she knows how fire extinguishers work, what human food is supposed to taste like, how to speak Spanish and use a cell phone and alarm clocks. The way Luz is like oh NO teenagers but vee just happily sits down and talks to them. These people are like her. They aren't like Luz. Luz is an outsider in the world she was born in and so was vee and it is so much better for them both that they found somewhere they could actually BE.

Anyway yeah lol this timeline Camila can really get the full perspective on how incredibly well Luz has done. From Camila's perspective her daughter ran away from home and when she came back she was wounded, traumatized and seriously depressed. She didn't see how genuinely happy and at peace Luz was there. She is totally reasonable in suspecting this place was Bad For Her.

But while Luz is unwilling to talk too much because she's depressed and all the kids have limited perspectives and probably aren't comfortable talking about luz to her mom anyway- jasper can fully be like yeah no dude you have no idea. She's a bright star people flock to. She's so confident and happy and optimistic and kind. She literally deprogrammed my child soldier son and rescued him from a cult. Won't lie to you ma'am, your daughter has put her life at risk many times and many people have tried to kill her- but they all failed because she is so strong and so loved that he is never alone. Luz is legitimately a hero.

What a wild thing to hear about your child. Both the danger she has been in but also... How much she has flourished within that danger. Your fifteen year old daughter's passion is in saving people from shark attacks or something. It's not just that she's happy, it's that she's strong, fulfilled, passionate, she's filled with a LIFE she never was before.

[my-decade]

my thoughts on Netflix's ATLA live action

As an adult who watched this show growing up and was there for the countdown to the comet (iykyk!!) I have thoughts!

Best: Zuko. angsty, teenage boy depression, father issues, determined to a self-destructive degree. The actor is great at capturing all these facets of Zuko's conflicting, complex character. Really great with the choreography/martial arts too. Its not easy to pull off Zuko's mostly shaven but with a ponytail haircut, but this actor manages it. And yes, the opening scene with him seeing the beam of light from the iceberg and saying, "Finally." did give me some chills. Honestly the actor just captures Zuko really well. Great casting.

Worst: Katara. has the personality of an elegant yet unassuming well watered house plant. Its more because of the writing than the actress… she's doing her best with this depressing egg whites version of Katara she's had thrusted upon her. It's not going to be convincing when Toph comes along next season and calls her sugar queen.

Aang: never has any fun. spends every episode staring into the distance being sorrowful and melancholic. *teardrop rolls down cheek* he is a depressed 40 year old in the body of a 12 year old. He has no fun side to him anymore- an important side for a 12 year old kid to have! Also spends the entirety of season one (you know, titled "water"!) and doesn't learn a lick of waterbending, not even from Katara, who spends a lot of it learning from the waterbending scroll!! Why??? However the actor is doing a great job and I think he captures Aang's essence really well. He is young and I think next season he will improve a lot.

Sokka: I almost forgot to write thoughts down for him, which I think says more than anything else. He's essentially been boiled down to the same old overprotective big brother, but now he comes complete with daddy issues. It's a little hilarious that Katara's worst memory is watching her mom get burned alive by a firebender soldier while Sokka's is hearing his dad say he's disappointed with him. Kind of ruins the moment tbh. They really took all the fun aspects of the main Gaang and dulled them down completely, its sad. At least he's cute though- and imo, the chemistry with Suki's actress was there.

The previous avatars: every single one meets Aang just to berate & yell at him and tell him he shouldn't have friends and where has he been for the past 100 years without giving him a second to speak. What?? Sadly it seems any dignity, grace, or wisdom the previous avatars had in the original, has been completely wiped out in this live action. Also, this idea of them telling Aang about things that are going to happen makes no sense. Did no previous avatar tell Roku his friend was going to betray him, let him die on the island, and start a 100 year long war? Also the idea of Aang being able to communicate ONLY if he's in one of their temples is stupid. What is the point of the avatar state, then? Will Roku be able to teach him anything at all?

Princess Yue: yes I wrote an entire paragraph about her lol. She is one of my favorite minor characters. I think they wanted her to look so accurate to her original counterpart that she just looks too much like a cosplayer, with such a stiff and lifeless looking wig. This is the one and only time I will concede I prefer M. Night's version of Yue as far as costuming goes, though both funnily enough forget her eyebrows shouldn't be dark. The actress was fine. But this version of Yue is quite a different person from og Yue, I can't really compare. Plus, it feels like we see her for a good 10 minutes before she dies for the moon spirit. I couldn't buy into her and Sokka having feelings for each other because it felt like they knew each other for a good 2 hours at most. Ideally, I think these two versions kind of fused together would be perfect.

Azula/Mai/Ty Lee: Grouping them together because. Azula is the most unconvincing out of the characters for me. I don't buy that this girl is supposed to be the princess Azula for a second. I'm neither intrigued nor intimidated, and that's pretty bad as Azula was one of my top favorite characters from the original. The costume is fine, the wig feels cheap, her dialogue is horrendous, the actress can't convince me. Azula isn't smart or cunning, sharp, or collected, and her "working with Zhao" just made her look dumb when the entire plan flopped. She is a whiny, petulant little girl stamping her feet in every other scene. It's not for me. Also, the way her relationship with Ozai is depicted here makes Ozai look like a loser, too. It's like they want us to not be afraid of either of them.

As for Mai and Ty Lee. Ty Lee is fine. She looks okay, the actress is fine for how little we see her. On Mai, the wig is just so bad I don't get what happened. It's like they're struggling on the line of being realistic with the styling, or leaning completely in cartoon-character-came-to-life. I don't think the actress for Mai here was a good choice.

Dialogue: the worst part of this show. When they're not completely quoting word for word from the original, it's.. just bad. Everything is always exposition and thats not good. The few moments that aren't are just... idk.

CGI: not bad. I was expecting worse. Fire, earth, and air all look great. Water feels a little slow, mostly when its just water and not ice but that can be improved I assume. Koh was pretty cool, as was Wan Shi Tong.

Settings: Beautiful!! Omashu looked great. South and North water tribes looked great. Ozai's throne room looked incredible and I was annoyed every time we see it, he is just standing around and not sitting on his throne. It just reminded me how amazing the buildup to Ozai and Azula's reveals were in og season 1.

Costume: Its either a hit or a miss. There's strangley not much in between. Aang, Katara, Sokka, Zuko, Iroh, June, Ozai, Jet, Suki, the Kyoshi warriors, all look pretty great. Then you have characters like Azula, Mai, or Yue, who just look like half decent cosplayers. It kind of takes you out of the moment when it looks like the person is a cartoon character, rather than just a normal person. For example, compare how Katara looks compared to Azula.

Music: of course it was fantastic. A lot of it (I think most) was from the original show, which has one of the greatest soundtracks an animated show has ever had imo.

Final thoughts: Ultimately, it was kind of what I was expecting. You can't condense 20+ episodes worth of development into 8 and expect it all to flow perfectly. However, there are also a lot of changes that really don't make sense to me. I am very curious to know how on earth they will do seasons 2 and 3, as season 1 is the slowest in pace compared to the next two seasons. The original's finale was split into four episodes! Unless they add more episodes for next season, it's going to be a big jumbled mess of lore being shoved into our faces. I am also concerned about Toph. The Gaang so far has been stripped of their fun/unique personality traits. Is Toph going to be the same?

#atla #avatar the last airbender #netflix's atla #personal

[nerves-nebula]

Feel free to delete this ask if you want cuz dw i get it but

Buddy, ol’ chump, pal, bro, good lad, good matey,

You okay?

I’m giving you water and a weighted blanket and manifesting good vibes for you regardless

Stay safe out there ✨

I am not ok and I’m pretty certain I’ve been depressed for months (possibly years)and just didn’t realize it because it’s not as bad as my teenaged depression.

I get physically triggered by my own thoughts multiple times every day which makes me twitch and compulsively laugh & say “no!” a lot and that can’t be good but it’s just how it is.

My weighted blanket got fucked years ago. And CLIMATE means I can’t use it most of the time anyway.

It’s less OUT THERE I need to worry about and more uhhh in here. lol.

🤕👈🏽

So yeah yknow. Expect even more unintelligible vents in the future because the school year has only just begun!

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts

[isabelldrabbles]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

warnings: injury, mentions of blood and guns

A/N: wrote this over a year ago, but wanted to post something. Don‘t know where this is going lol.

---

You passed the security guards of the building complex, stood in the queue for the coffee machine and spinned with the coins in your hands. It has been a hard day, night, even week. Something was off. Your workplace was hiding something… and you noticed it. Since this Avenger had a town under her spell, everyone here was going crazy. Hayward had no control over his soldiers anymore, Captain Monica Rambeau was inciting a riot, and you were in the midst of it.

Darcy Lewis' face lit up when she saw you and soon, she happily came towards you. The people in the row behind you grunted in annoyance as she overtook them in the row next to the device. 

‘Oh my, please, she’s a doctor. The disrespect of some people.’ You joked and let her hug you. After all, you were glad you had someone in this place that brought some joy with them.

‘Where the hell have you hid, agent? I have missed you!’ Darcy lightly pushed you in your shoulder, but you just put your hands in the pockets of your SWORD - sweater and shook your head. 

‘I was working.’ The waiting line moved and you stepped forward. ‘Something you apparently don’t have much to-’

‘Oh my god (Y/N)! The audacity!’ You laughed at the response of the brunette and looked at her. ‘Who was the one that discovered the broadcast signals of WandaVision?!” She looked expectantly at you, but you bit your cheek amused and provoked her with not giving an answer. ‘Me. It was me. The great Doctor Darcy Lewis!”

‘Right Lewis, now go and get a coffee, people are waiting.’ Some random guy huffed from behind you.

She hastily stepped forward, pressed the button of her desired order and turned to you once again. With a wink she threw in the coins to pay. 

‘Oh god Darcy, don’t even get me started on that witch’s case. Creating a fake scenario to live with the love of her life? What is she? A depressed teenager?’ Darcy turned offended and slapped your arm, now without kidding. ‘Ouch! What the hell??’

Your friend grabbed her coffee, stepped to the side and you repeated her prior actions for your own order. 

‘(Y/N)! You have no idea how much that girl went through-’

‘Parents dead. Brother dead. Robot boyfriend dead. Fellow Avengers dead. Now once again imaginary boyfriend and also kids dead. I get it, she has been through a lot, but there are people out there called psycho therapists, they are qualified for such people. I can recommend my mom’s one.’ The machine finished and you walked back to your office, both a coffee mug in your hands. 

‘Do you hear how stupid what you are saying sounds?! Wanda Maximoff is..a wonder! An Avenger who can harness chaos magic, engage in telepathy as well as telekinesis and alter reality. She has so much power! She is the most powerful Avenger!’ Darcy burst with excitement as you let yourself fall back in your office chair and sighed.

‘Look Darcy, I get it. You are a fangirl… but she kidnapped an entire city! How can you defend that?! She hurt civilian citizens. Twice now if you remember Lagos! She is dangerous.’ You furrowed your eyebrows and took a sip of your coffee.

Darcy shook her head enthusiastically. ‘No! Just no (Y/N)! Hayward, that bastard, he is the reason! She just wanted a funeral for her love and he used his body to recreate a new robot for SWORD-’ 

You choked on your drink at her words and spilled some of it on your desk. With widened eyes you tilted your head and looked at her. ‘He did what?? That son of a bitch. That’s why everyone is acting so differently here.’ You pulled out a tissue of one of the desk drawers and wiped your desk while chewing your lip in thought. ‘Okay, I take that back. Maybe she had reasons to… grief in her own way. But that still doesn’t explain capturing a whole city!’ 

Darcy emptied her cup and walked to the exit of your office. ‘All I’m saying is that she’s not the only bad guy here. Think about that!’ She shrugged and left you alone. 

‘A pleasure as always, Doctor Lewis.’ You sighed to yourself and threw your mugs in the bin. After finishing your short break you returned to give your attention to the mission files that had to be completed.

Great. You were working for an emotionless asshole.

---

‘You are a horrible influence, Lewis.’ 

You snapped at your colleague while jumping into some kind of cover. ‘I just should have let you be a fangirl and never should have asked questions.’ You mumbled upset. Rummaging in the side pockets of your trousers, you searched for your pistol and as soon as you touched it, sighed in relief.

‘Well, to my defence, Monica is the one that got us here. I’m just the thinker, she brings the action.’ Darcy chuckled and you stared incredulously at her.

‘Are you kidding me?! We are getting attacked for snooping around to look for signs of Vision’s dead body, probably will be on the run after that and you laugh?’ You shouted at the woman next to you and threw a small can of pepper spray to her which she easily caught. 

‘Get the hell out of here and we will talk about the consequences later in the plane.’ The voice of the Captain became audible in your ear piece as you took down two guards.

‘In the plane? We will have to leave? I was joking!’ You hissed nervously as you fought your way outside.

‘Well yeah, we just became enemies - or rather traitors - of the United States of America. We know top secret information.’ Darcy screamed from the other side of the room.

‘Goddamnit! I have a cat to take care of! I hate you guys so much!’ You ran out of the hall and met Monica. ‘I should have never done this. Fuck!’ You muttered and leaned on the wall, trying to catch your breath. 

‘You can’t change it anymore. So either you move your ass in that goddamn plane and go underground for a while, or you surrender and rot in prison. You are doing the right thing (Y/N), we are proving the world Wanda wasn’t the only problem in this conflict.‘

You nodded at Rambeau’s words, somehow finding some sort of confidence in them, and the trio of you started sprinting to the flight area. Monica jumped into the pilot’s seat of the nearest aircraft, Darcy and you getting on board right after her. 

When she started the machine and you felt it hovering, you laid on a bench in the back and closed your eyes. Although you were sure you couldn’t get even a little bit of sleep due to the adrenaline floating in your veins, you hoped resting would help you process and understand today’s events a bit better. 

---

The next time you opened your eyes, the machine was flying on autopilot and your two co-performers were packing three backpacks with vital equipment such as water, preserves and knives. You straightened and rubbed your face with your hands, clearly exhausted from the previous fight. 

Darcy turned around to your bench to fetch some bandages, but when she saw you getting up, she startled and stopped her motions. ‘God! Do you always have to be so quiet and sneaky?’

‘I am an agent, what do you think?’ You rolled your eyes and stepped to help them pack the bags. ‘Or was an agent, thank you again.’

‘(Y/N)! Will you ever stop that?’ Monica snubbed you before she continued. ‘Listen. We’re now enemies of SWORD with too much information, which means we probably have to spend some time on the run. Not together though. I suggest we will split…’ she turned completely to you, ‘you have family in Romania, right? I think it’s time for a visit.’

You nodded reluctantly and threw a spare sweater in your backpack. ‘When will you drop me off? And where?’

‘There’s a little abandoned town with a lake nearby. Stay there for a bit, then go find your family. We should arrive at dawn.’ Monica stepped next to you and grabbed your hands. ‘I know this sucks, but there’s still Sam Wilson somewhere out there...he will notice something is off and before you can blink, you’re back home.’ She squeezed your hands and gave you a reassuring smile.

‘Back home with your cat!’ You heard Darcy from somewhere in the back of the aircraft and chuckled lightly despite trying to stay mad at your friend.

‘No seriously, agent, thank you for doing this. It was the right choice.’ Monica carefully let go of you and returned to the pilot seat. 

‘What a choice. I had much of it.’ You mumbled sarcastically before taking the seat next to her.

---

When the quinjet landed, you sighed shakily one last time and turned to say goodbye to the two women. 

‘Take care. I’m gonna miss you.’ Darcy hugged you tight and looped her arms over your shoulders. 

‘I’m gonna miss you, too, fangirl.’ The brunette rolled her eyes playfully at the nickname and you grinned. When she released you, the Captain stepped forward and shook your hand.

‘See you soon, Agent. Be safe!‘ 

‘Thank you, Captain.‘ You left the plane and turned around one last time. Darcy waved goodbye and you returned the gesture, while Monica already started to get ready to take off. 

You watched them fly away and began walking on the sidewalk, following a long road to Romania‘s mountains. They let you out some miles away from the remote town, just to make sure you didn‘t attract any attention. 

So, you started your journey, with no real clue where to go. You cursed angrily when it became so dark you could only see your surroundings a few feet away from you, and then it started storming, and your mood was devastated. 

Luckily, you had a flashlight with you and could somehow make it to the branch that led to the town and lake. You turned to walk along the smaller road that turned into a path through the forest after ten minutes of walking.

Blind due to the now complete darkness, you startled when you suddenly heard a lightning strike in the distance. Before you could make out in what direction the thunderstorm was, cold raindrops hit your face.

‘For fuck‘s sake!‘ You put on your jacket‘s hood and started to walk faster to find shelter. Later, you tried to orientate yourself on top of a slightly higher hill. You recognised the shades of the lake and a small cabin, and a little further the empty city. 

Happy to see your final destination and impatient to get out of the storm, you started running down the hill. You were almost in the flat again when you suddenly heard a loud crack and before you could blink twice, you plumped on the ground.

You screamed out in pain and laid still, panting. You must have slipped on the wet ground and fell, your leg hitting a stone. After trying to calm your breathing a bit, you straightened up with the help of a log and lifted the flashlight. 

With your injured leg, you wouldn‘t be able to make it to the town - you would have to circle the whole lake - and you were also in the midst of a storm, so you decided to try and get protection at the lonely wooden cabin. 

You limped to it, dragged yourself over the steps, one at a time, before you leaned against the wooden door to collect yourself. 

‘Hello? I don‘t know if someone‘s in there, and if you can understand me, but I‘m hurt and just need some first aid equipment and a shelter while the storm rages. I‘m gonna wait for a bit, otherwise I‘ll batter this door in and get in.’ You breathed out through gasps.

But before you had to make your way through that door, light switched on inside the hut and footsteps became audible. The door opened carefully and a redhead got visible, her hands in the back bags of her jeans.

‘Hi! Uhm- Do you speak English?’ You put out while trying to pantomime your words with finger motions. 

The woman giggled, and you noticed a blush creeping up on your cheeks. You cursed yourself for not paying attention to your grandma teaching you Romanian, it would have been a lot easier to just communicate in the first language of the country.

‘I do. How can I help you?’ She replied and took your figure in. Her words were bolstered by a thick accent, an accent you have heard before, and you took a closer look at her. 

‘Oh my god. You‘re Maximoff. The Scarlet Witch. You‘re Wanda Maximoff.’ You identified the woman astonished. 

Panic settled in the witch's eyes. ‘I‘m- I-’ 

‘I-’ you chuckled incredulously, ‘fuck Hayward. I‘m sorry. For everything.’ You hissed and rolled your eyes in annoyance at the thought of your ex-boss.

Wanda tried to process your words speechlessly. She has been alone for so long, and now a stranger stood at her front door, knowing exactly about everything she so badly wanted to make unhappen. 

‘No seriously. He‘s unbe-’ your gaze fell to your leg that was now in the light of the cabin, and you could see your injury. Not only was it coated in blood, you also could see a bit of bone standing out. ‘-be…liev… I think I'm gonna pass ou-’ you collapsed, but before your body hit the ground, red wisps surrounded your unconscious body and prevented you from it. 

Wanda carefully lifted you through the cabin and laid you down on the couch. She had no idea who she had now lying in her guest room, but this person must have seen through Hayward‘s ill intentions.

And she couldn‘t disregard an injured person out in the dark, could she?

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fanfiction #elizabeth olsen x you #mcu imagine

[voltfruits]

aubreycore playlist for auby enjoyers

paramore - "ignorance"

the beths - "whatever"

sonic youth - "catholic block"

neko case - "middle cyclone"

mitski - "townie"

car seat headrest - "something soon"

sleater-kinney - "dig me out"

green day - "having a blast"

fiona apple - "criminal"

liz phair - "crater lake"

guided by voices - "game of pricks"

beach bunny - "promises"

hop along - "waitress"

be your own pet - "black hole"

indigo de souza - "real pain"

EMA - "butterfly knife"

the new pornographers - "letter from an occupant"

phoebe bridgers - "graceland too"

bikini kill - "rebel girl"

i'm not expecting anyone to read this far but. explanations. lol

ignorance: i think the possible time frame for omori is situated a few years before paramore's popularity really took off, but they're the patron saints of bratty emotional 00s teens and it's easy to imagine aubrey being a fan. this particular song is just brimming with righteous fury, and the lyrics are pretty obviously relevant: "I'm not the same kid from your memory, well, now I can fend for myself / don't wanna hear your sad songs, don't wanna feel your pain when you swear it's all my fault, 'cause you know we're not the same"

whatever: this is an aubybasil anthem to me!! but it's an angsty one. it's about being let down by a friend over and over until you finally snap. i can imagine aubrey belting "we're blood and water but my back is blown, your shoulders slumped saying 'you should have known I'd let you down again'" as basil guiltily cowers/whimpers before her lol

catholic block: as aubrey grows up postgame i imagine she leaves behind pure teen-angst emo in favor of more sophisticated indie rock (maybe this is just me projecting my musical hyperfixations onto her lmao), and i headcanon sonic youth as one of her eventual fav bands. the exact lyrics here are hard to pin down, but it's clearly about having a bad relationship with catholicism, so it's fitting.

middle cyclone: a lovely, vulnerable, stripped-down ballad from one of the most badass vocalists in music today. acknowledging aubrey's softer side is just important as capturing her power and anger, and no lyric is better suited for that than "i can't give up acting tough, it's all that i'm made of / i choke it back, how much i need love."

townie: i know i'm not the first person to associate this song (or mitski in general) with aubrey. it's just. ugh. so good. "i'm holding my breath with a baseball bat, though I don't know what i'm waiting for / i am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be." fuck yeah man.

something soon: car seat headrest is my favorite band and i think aubrey would like them lots too, both for the rawness and explosiveness of their tunes and the insightful way their lyrics explore queerness, depression, and feeling trapped. "something soon" is one of the fiercest and gnarliest songs in their catalogue, and it it captures feelings of young adult desperation like nothing else. we've got lyrics that capture aubrey's more impulsive and violent tendencies ("i want to break something important / i want to kick my dad in the shins") along with a laundry list of poor, abandoned teenage grievances ("i can't talk to my folks / all my fingers are froze / only one change of clothes"). i mean, have we ever seen present day aubrey wear more than one outfit? (i am escorted off the premises for being too silly)

dig me out: sleater kinney is so aubreycore. they are THE girlboss indie punk band. my reasons for choosing this one are mostly based on vibes, it just sounds nasty and desperate and in terrible pain

having a blast: if you're a mentally unwell 16-year-old in a miserable US suburb there is a 100% chance discovering green day's dookie will change your life. i mean. "no one here is getting out alive, this time i've really lost my mind and i don't care / so close your eyes and kiss yourself goodbye, and think about the times we've spent and what they meant." church fight, anyone?

criminal: a photobomb anthem all the way through. just listen to it.

crater lake: underrated bop from the queen of 90s lofi. "and oh, all the tears in four tiny years / well, look at me, i'm frightening my friends." she even got the number of years right, bravo!

game of pricks: my favorite song right now, i've listened to it so much this week!!! it's like. the platonic ideal of a pop song. it's all melody. it's sounds so joyful and yet so melancholic. the lyrics capture a more subdued bitterness/disappointment that i think suits aubrey super well, since she isn't just a rage monster all the time. the one i really wanna draw attention to is: "i'll climb up on the house, weep to water the trees / and when you come calling me down, i'll put on my disease." idk i just. think it's touching how aubrey privately "weeps to water the trees" (uses her grief to elevate mari's memory and try to embody her after her death) but the moment she crosses paths with her past, she can't help being overtaken by the "disease" that is rage and disgust. she's trying so hard to put her pain to good use but she can't control the impulse to wreck everything instead. idk that's what that means to me

promises: beach bunny makes music that's cute and sunny but also rocks hard, which i think would appeal to aubrey. this is a song about being abandoned by an old friend/partner ("a minute you're there, a minute you cared, now you're gone / it's so unfair, keeping me from moving on") that i think functions especially well as an angsty sunburn song, knowing aubrey would confide in sunny when they were young.

waitress: this is a song about the crushing indignity of the service industry which isn't very aubreyesque LOL but i just fucking love hop along and i think aubrey would love them too. painted shut is an all time classic album and its combination of driving guitars, caterwauling vocals, and a vaguely haunted and musty atmosphere just sound the way aubrey's character feels. also i wanna single out the lyric "call you enemy 'cause i'm afraid of what you could call me" because DAMN. that is so her.

black hole: pretty self-explanatory rager about small town boredom. cheesy as hell, but it's what you need when you're 16.

real pain: this song, to me, is about aubrey trying in vain to convince herself that mari's death (and in certain endings, sunny and basil's deaths) are not her fault ("i don't believe the things i've done, i don't believe the weight i've been"). she clearly can't convince herself, though, because the song bottoms out in a storm of gut-wrenching screams like all a person's inner demons pouring out. sorry aubs :(

butterly knife: not really the closest match from a lyrical perspective, unless you count the line about pet rabbits, but i'm putting it on here because it's the best song from EMA's past life martyred saints, which is another album that sounds so much like aubrey to me. it's written from the absolute depths of mental fucked-upness, but it sounds so cool and subtle, almost ambient. it's the aural equivalent of aubrey's usual vibe; aloof, tense but subdued, keeping that storm of emotion just under the surface. just.

letter from an occupant: another all-time classic from one of my favorite bands, this is the perfect concoction of beautiful melodies, sugary guitars, and belt-your-heart-out vocal performances that i think does a good job capturing the cute-but-intimidating dichotomy of aubrey's vibe. the lyrics are mostly nonsense, but "with a shower of yeahs and whatevers, you trade me away long gone" is a wonderful line that captures aubrey's abandonment and her frustration with her old friends' apathy.

graceland too: oh god. this one. is based on my headcanon that aubrey moves out from her mother's house postgame and lives with polly and basil. i'm just gonna drop the whole first verse and try not to cry. "no longer a danger to herself or others, she made up her mind and laced up her shoes / yelled down the hall, but nobody answered, so she walked outside without an excuse / she could do anything she wants to, she could do whatever she wants to do."

rebel girl: during the time the game takes place, this is aubrey and kim's favorite song. they sing it to each other to hype themselves up. they know all the lyrics by heart. it's Their Song. listen to it and it's probably pretty clear why.

#i've been working on this for a while and today seems like a good day to finally share it!! #a lot of these songs deal with anger/grief/shame/gender stuff in a way that's very aubrey to me #others just have her vibe. or sound like something she would rock out to <3 #i hope u find a song or two that you like!! #aubrey omori #volt.txt

[a-writers-blurbs]

Under The Goshinboku

Fandom: Inuyasha

Pairing: Some Inuyasha x Kagome (maybe 5 chapters) with eventual Sesshomaru & Kagome

Universe: Canon

Rating: MA

Status: Ongoing

Where to read: FFN, Ao3, watty, dokuga

Trigger Warnings: Non-con (suggested), self harm, depression, child loss/infertility, abuse (physical & emotional), brief mention of torture, substance abuse

Story description:

It had only been two weeks. Two weeks since he reached his hand into the bone eaters well and felt the soft touch of her skin. Two weeks since she returned. And he'd be damned if he let her go again...

✍️ 📃 📚

Note: I have not watched or read YashaHime & dont plan to.

This story won't have any ties to the continuance. This will be my first FULL InuYasha Fic that I've written in like 10 years, so be nice, lol.

I plan on reuploading this edited version starting December 1st... enjoy the preview!

Crickets chirped and the wind blew as Kagome made her way to her home that didn't feel like home. No, nothing was quite right anymore. 

Three years had passed since Narakus defeat. Three years since she was trapped in the Shikon jewel. Three years since she was tricked into returning to the future, her present.  

After graduation, her friends tried so hard to help her be happy again. She had to give them that. But they didn't understand. No one did. How could they?

During her time away, Kagome had changed. No longer the naive and trusting girl she once was, now she was simply traumatized. 

Depression was never a word she would have associated with herself, but that was the only way to describe the way she felt.

At one time she held onto hope that an older InuYasha would one day appear. But then she remembered, in her time, there were no yokai. He was gone. She would be forever doomed to live in a world without the four people she cared most about. That thought alone kept her awake at night. Sango, Shippo, Miroku, InuYasha. They were long dead in her time and she didn't even know how they'd fared.

Did Sango and Miroku ever get married? Did Shippo get his nine tails? Did InuYasha find a home? Did they miss her as they aged and passed on? 

Questions she would never get answers to plagued Kagome to no end. She didn't even know where they were buried, though she suspected it was somewhere on her shrines property. 

That was the silver lining in her mind. Her shrine, her home, had once been the burial ground of the village from five hundred years in the past. The village that grew and expanded to become the Tokyo of the new millennium. 

It was with that thought that Kagome held onto as she entered the part of the shrine that held the bone eaters well, completely unaware of the three sets of eyes following her.

_____

"She's getting worse." The cracking voice of a teenaged Sota whispered. Just because he was six years younger than his sister didn't mean he didn't understand her feelings.

He loved his sister as much as a brother could. She was his hero, brave, confident, and honorable. Seeing her this way was killing him slowly and he didn't think he could handle seeing Kagome hurt for much longer.

"I know." His mother was just as concerned, if not more. Her daughter had always been such a cheerful girl, but after her last return, something changed. 

She knew Kagome had played a hand in countless yokai deaths. That she had seen things, lived through a war and won. But she never could get her daughter to tell her just what happened in those three terrifying days. 

Kagome wasn't the same anymore. This world filled with people and technology wasn't suited for her anymore. 

"Do you think she'll go back?"

"The portal has been closed for years, Sota." That sad reality was one her daughter was faced with. For all intents and purposes, four of the people closest to her had died the day the well sealed shut. "I don't think she can ever go back."

"Jii-chan said she will go back." His mother's shocked look brought nothing more than a shrug from the teen as He looked toward the shrine that housed both the well and his sister's sorrow. "He doesn't know when it'll happen, but he's certain the old stories about the Miko and the Yokai are about Kagome & InuYasha."

It was a bittersweet feeling, but their mother knew what needed to happen. Kagome didn't belong here anymore. She would have to let her daughter go if she ever wanted her to find happiness. Perhaps destiny had been in play since the morning her baby girl was born. If so, who was she to try and stop destiny? "Then we should help her prepare."

_____

Did the well stop working, because I was afraid to go back? When the well closed and I was alone in the darkness, I was so scared and sad. 

I didn't realize that I had been in the darkness for three whole days. I made Mom, Sota, and Jii-chan as sad and scared as I was. I felt bad about that, and was so happy to be back here.

 But then the well closed and I was left alone again. 

InuYasha? 

I've been thinking this whole time about the reason I was sent to the feudal era and the reason the bone eaters well stopped working when the Shikon jewel was destroyed. 

My job in that time is done and now I must live my life in my own world. A world without you.

But, InuYasha, I need to see you again.

The feeling of the wind was the first thing she noticed. Soon hearing the chirping of birds, Kagome slowly opened her tear soaked eyes. A small gasp escaped her lips when, instead of the dirt and bones she normally saw, Kagome saw a blue sky filled with puffy white clouds. 

She momentarily wondered if she was dreaming when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder and heard the soothing tone of her mother's soft voice. "Kagome sweety, what is it?"

"Mamma." Looking at the mix of emotions on her daughter's face, she already knew what was happening even before it was said. "The well… it's, it's open again."

She could tell Kagome wanted nothing more than to jump headfirst into the past, but her fear was holding her back. Fear of what may happen if she returns. Fear of disappointing her family. Fear that InuYasha was long gone..."Jii-chan and Sota told me this would happen."

"What?" The mix of emotions suddenly vanished to be replaced by simple shock. "How did they…"

"I would have thought you had learned by now, your grandfather's stories aren't just tall tales." She couldn't help letting loose small chuckle at her daughter's expense. It was true though.

Before Kagome had been dragged into the bone eaters well, she never believed a word of her Jii-chans stories. She disregarded his gifts and laughed at his offerings. 

Eventually, after her return, she had locked herself into the shrine with the old man and told him everything that had happened in her two year journey. She apologized and begged to be taught more about shrine duties.

She had grown so much. "It's ok Kagome."

Before her daughter could speak, fast paced footsteps could be heard dashing down the stairs. "Yeah sis! We knew this was coming, we even packed some stuff for you!"

A less hyper set of footsteps came to a stop as Kagome stared in awe. "Sota? Jii-chan? How…"

"I'm the keeper of this shrines history girl!" The old man cane off rough, but Kagome could tell by the look in his eyes that he was just trying to keep himself From breaking down. This was hard for him, to say goodbye. But it was meant to be and it is what she wanted so he'd gladly take whatever pain was necessary on her behalf. "From the minute you first returned with InuYasha close behind, I knew one day you'd leave us to be the heroine of our past."

Stepping next to their grandfather, Sota, fighting his own tears, gave her a goofy grin. "InuYasha will take good care of you sis, just don't forget about us ok."

"Sota!" Falling to her knees, Kagome wrapped her arms around her younger brother and held tight. "I love you ototo. Take care of mom ok?"

With a firm nod, the thirteen year old stepped to his mother's side and began tossing several large duffel bags into the well. Her grandfather smiled broadly and hugged his granddaughter tight for the last time. "You will live long and well. There will be many trials and tribulations, but as long as you hold on to the faith you have in that boy, you'll be ok. Live well my sweet girl."

Stepping back, Kagome accepted a mysterious small trunk from him and turned back toward the well. Each step brought her closer to the dream she'd had for three years but she faltered at the last step. Glancing back over her shoulder with tears in her eyes, Kagome knew she was saying goodbye forever. "I love you all so much. Thank you for understanding." Shooting them a final smile, she clutched the black and gold trunk in her arms and jumped.

_____

It had been as much of a normal day as the white haired hanyu could get. The morning sun was beating on his back as he left Miroku and Sangos hut after sharing breakfast with the couple. Shippo followed behind in silence as he walked through the forest that had once been his prison, now dubbed his lands by the village. 

It had become a sort of ritual for them. Rise with the sun, breakfast with Sango and Miroku, then to the Goshinboku to beg before checking the bone eaters well and checking on Kaede & Rin. When they arrived at the clearing that once held the portal to the future, InuYasha didn't expect much. 

It wasn't that he'd given up hope, more like, he had come to terms with his fate. Kikyo had never loved him but he chased her around at every corner, abandoning Kagome more than once to chase the ghost of his past.

He had caused so much pain, he hurt Kagome so much that he knew this was his karma for treating her so badly. Maybe it was time he stopped coming. It's not like the Kami would answer the call of a hanyu anyway.

He had never wished to be human, but if he could have put this karma off until the next lifetime, he would gladly trade his demon blood. If only to see her one more time. 

While InuYasha lost himself in his thoughts, Shippo stood fidgeting at the foot of the well waiting. He would never admit it, but every time InuYasha reached in the well only to come up empty handed, it broke the little kits spirit. 

He missed Kagome. But he knew he couldn't take the visits anymore. Shippo would tell InuYasha that he would have to start coming alone to wait at the well as soon as he watched one last time. 

Coming back to reality, InuYasha looked at the young kitsune for a moment. He looked conflicted, like he wanted to get something off his chest. But when he finally opened his mouth to speak, his eyes grew wide and he rushed to the wells edge. 

Holding his breath and silently begging, InuYasha reached his hand into the well. Waiting. A few moments passed and nothing happened, just like every day for the last three years. 

Damning his own nose for playing tricks, InuYasha removed his hand and sighed. With a nod of his head he turned to walk away when he heard a loud thunk.

Slowly, as if afraid of what he might see, InuYasha turned back as the second thunk hit. Confusion overtook him when he saw two giant bags in front of the well. Before he could investigate, he had to back up as three more giant bags came out of the well landing at his feet. 

Terrified of false hope, he reached back into the well one last time. But this time, instead of a lonely emptiness, he felt the brush of fingertips. With one tug there, she was. 

#kagome higurashi #lord sesshomaru #sesshomaru #sesshomaru x kagome #sesshomaru's mother #sesskag #sesskag fanfiction #sesskag fic #sesskag monthly prompt #fanfic #sesshome #sesskag fanfic #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag #fypシ #fanfiction #fypage #fyp #tumblr fyp #canon universe #follow for more #a writers blurbs

[sinelanguage]

20 questions for fic writers

taking from @fivedayslater who tagged anyone for this, i'll also pass around to 'anyone who wants to answer these questions is effectively tagged' but also @lostlegendaerie, @sharpenote specifically.....

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

36! not too shabby considering i'm not super consistent about writing.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

257,465! wow. jeez.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently One Piece, historically Voltron. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

predictably: this is almost entirely Keith/Lance.

Stormchasing: Keith/Lance handcuffed together fic i tried to pace like an actual episode! posting early in the fandom’s lifecycle gave it staying power, lol.

The Hustle: Keith/Lance espionage/heist-ish fic i cowrote with a friend. Really fun premise, and it was fun to co-write something!

Good Grief: Keith/Lance 5+1. i don’t remember anything about this.

Tallies: Keith/Lance 5+1. look… i wrote a lot of these.

Interstate 80: It’s not Klance! Jean/Marco, roadtrip modern day AU. i wrote this as a teenager, and i do not think this holds up whatsoever, but i made a lot of close friends through this fic and i'm fond of it solely due to that, haha.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try! i have like, a half-life where if a fic is more than a year old i probably won’t respond because i’ve probably forgotten anything interesting to say. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Haha i wrote a hunger games AU for Attack on Titan? i don’t know what possessed me to take Jean Kirstein out of one horribly depressing canon and into another horribly depressing canon. 

Outside of that, i tend to stick to relatively happy or neutral endings. Most recently, Time Turned Fragile probably has the angstiest ending but i’d classify it as bittersweet really, even though Sanji like. dies? look. don’t worry about it

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhh??? this is harder to answer … Inaba’s Self-Appointed Cat Adoption Agency is a fic that is probably the fluffiest thing i’ve ever written and as such has the most feel-good fluffy ending as a result.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really! i’ve gotten a-bit-too-bold concrit in bookmark notes, but i wouldn’t really consider that hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah lol. (gestures to weaknesses answer) it is not my forte, and i’m not super interested. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not typically! I did write Turnabout Heart, which is a brief Persona 5 / Ace Attorney crossover, because I thought Sae being friends with Mia would be neat.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ah, i found someone reposting my fic to wattpad once (username still attached). i just gently told them it was in bad form lol, it was wattpad in 2017 or so so I’m sure it was just some kid haha. they apologized and deleted it and their other stolen stuff so it’s all good.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! Someone offered once, but never got back around to me. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! The Hustle from above, and for better or for worst which was a fun last hurrah for Keith/Lance.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

It’s really funny because i’ve never written for any of my all time ships lol. Ike/Soren is maybe my ship of all time. Keith/Lance i’m still stupidly fond of despite myself. i never even finished Voltron.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

this has historically been time loop fics, but I wrote two this year!!!!! Congrats to me!!

Currently i’ve been working on a Robin-centric Robin and Sanji roleswap fic, and while i have a good grasp on the emotional/plot arcs involved it is not easy to write Robin POV lol. i can only write characters who are more emotionally stupid than me. i keep chugging away at it though.

for one I know I'll never finish: I have a brief outline/scenes written for a Professor Sada/Robot Professor Sada (haha. lol. sorry.) fic that would be titled Stochastic Parent as a play on the machine learning term 'stochastic parrot', i.e. the principle that AI does not truly understand language, merely parrots it back to the user. i could not figure out how to write this without being on the nose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Bizarrely i really like writing action scenes hahahaahaha. It’s one of the few scenes in fic i really fully visualize, so translating that is fun. emotions in a fight are fun too, i like writing fear. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The main one: romance! More specifically though, physical intimacy. hilarious to write mostly romance fic and be bad at it. i’ve been actively avoiding writing kissing scenes for the last 10 fic or so. at this point i’m trying to see how long i can go without one.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Think it’s incredibly neat to see but i don't think i'll ever do it. i feel like i need to return my linguist card for this answer....

19. First fandom you wrote for?

some different answers here: Fire Emblem (never finished or posted online), Harvest Moon (posted on deviantArt and deleted when i scorched my warrior cats username from the face of the earth), and Attack on Titan (first fic on ao3)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

All time it’s Dead Horizon. i got to write a lot of fun environmental storytelling and horror in that one, and I liked the emotional arc overall. i really like environments/settings in terms of storytelling, and i don’t get the chance to write much of that since i stick with shorter one shots typically. Still very, very fond of it. 

Recent stuff it’s Same As It Ever Was. i��ve wanted to do a Once in a Lifetime themed timeloop for ages but I kept dropping the concept, until now! Finally I wrote a scene based off the ‘not my beautiful house, not my beautiful wife’ lyric! dream come true.

#ask game #personal

[skinks]

how do you keep finding these incredibly niche and incredibly awesome aesthetics

omg WELL, I will try to be concise here!!

basically it started because I got really into vaporwave relatively early in its existence, I think I discovered it in around 2013. Now, something about there being an entire online named Artistic Movement with clear design principles was extremely cool to me, and 2013 is also the earliest I can find a use of the term “junglepunk” on my blog, because this is the term I was using as a personal placeholder for the type of stuff that I have since discovered is being called utopian scholastic. I figured, if there wasn’t a “vaporwave” equivalent for the art/media niche I remembered so vividly, I would just call it something of my own.

So, I came to this newer discovery because in the decade since getting into vaporwave I’ve followed just… so many aesthetic blogs. One of my absolute favourites is @newwavearch90 but I love going on an adventure down various tumblr rabbit holes of related blogs and posts. I also watch a lot of design history videos on youtube, as well as having an interest in lost media, old web stuff, analog horror ARGs, stuff like that. For example, this guy’s video about clip art is very interesting:

And so, a few months ago youtube recommended me THIS video and as soon as I saw the thumbnail I was like oh holy shit, I know exactly what style of design this is talking about. Anyone who used Windows XP would recognise this:

And once again, like the vaporwave discovery, the realisation that there are ongoing efforts being made to classify design movements of which I have vivid living memory was like… mindblowing to me. For some reason, lol. My appreciation for vaporwave has always been through a reflective filter of the media produced during that time, my response to it is really my response to the media, as opposed to having any real emotional connection to the actual time period and places the media is portraying.

And so after discovering Frutiger Aero I googled it, and came across the CARI (Consumer Aesthetics Research Institute) site. They work to catalogue and index this exact stuff, the aesthetics and reasoning behind all these different movements. It’s also co-founded by the same guy who runs @newwavearch90. Finding the actual names of the aesthetics I have the most emotional connection/nostalgia for has been less of a stroke of luck, but more because I’ve been snooping around the types of blogs and websites where I just happened to see certain posts tagged either Global Village Coffeehouse or Utopian Scholastic, then the giant lightbulb goes off. The relief of putting a name to a sound, an image, a feeling that was so important and exciting and comforting to you in the past, that has shaped so much of your taste and interests in the years since.

I think the base concept of “aesthetics” in general has gotten a bad rap in recent years. I know it can be grating to see teenagers try to categorise their whole identities into the easily consumed “aesthetic”, but we can’t ignore how much ageism and specifically misogyny is wrapped up in that assessment. Like, yes, where once there were just preps and goths it can be depressing to see teenagers (especially teen girls) ask themselves whether they are “old money east coast quiet luxury aesthetic girlies” or “mallpunk y2k whimsigoth aesthetic girlies” - but the problem isn’t in teens trying to find their identity, it’s that social media pushes the search for identity specifically through consumerism.

Teens liking aesthetics on tiktok just isn’t my concern. I’m far more interested in how art and design aesthetics relate to consumerism, to technological advances, to socio-political cultural context, to societal values. Why did these aesthetics arise at the time they did, and why were they popular, why did they fall out of the zeitgeist etc.

So yeah, to be not at all concise in any way; it’s because this stuff fascinates me and I love researching it 🥳