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scoobydoodean · 5 days

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i’m trying to write a s15 fix it fic and i’m kinda stuck on what the ending for heaven should be. along with other smaller details i have figured out, i know jack’s not gonna be god, and neither will amara, but that means heaven can’t keep functioning as it has been, smth needs to change. i do have a few ideas, but i’m interested in what someone like you, who has a much more comprehensive knowledge of spn than i do, thinks. like how you wish the ending happened (other than dean living ofc), how you wish they handled the cosmic consequences of taking out chuck?

and ofc i won’t like steal your ideas! i’m just looking for inspiration and another perspective in order to flesh out my basic ideas

Well... to be honest, when I read fix it fics I often skip the world building aspects surrounding "new heaven structure". Honestly I'm more the kind of person to feel that part of the fun of fic is not having to do complicated world building and getting right into the character-oriented portions of the story. 😂

As far as my own wishes: I am a HUGE proponent of an open ending for Supernatural. Because Supernatural is about a battle between the concepts of Free Will and Destiny, and the final season, in particular, is about an evil author/god writing the characters lives, I feel the only narratively satisfying conclusion is one where even the irl author sets the characters free from their vision (after a certain point—obviously we want to have our fun and set the characters up for success). This is a HUGE issue with the actual series finale in my mind—that it attempts to write out the entirety of the characters lives even into eternity, entombing them in the author's vision with absolutely nothing left to the imagination when this show was MADE for a "ride off into the sunset" style ending because it's about free will. 15.20 simply was not that—it was far FAR too intrusive.

I mean to be totally honest because of its negative narrative significance, I kind of think heaven should simply implode. I think it would be very cathartic for everyone involved. The Winchester's provided (imo) an excellent landing pad for a fully canon-compliant fix-it fic where Dean once again tears apart the script. And yes—to me heaven is still someone else's script in 15.20, whether that was the authorial intent or not. Even if one isn't "Chuck won" truthing, one still has the line, "Cas helped" in 15.20—meaning that at the very least, Cas and Jack are trying to write paradise. They are trying to write The Future. (I discuss my criticisms of that here). This is also why the summary for my own WIP fix-it... looks like this:

Castiel abruptly drops the cassettes onto the kitchen table in a clatter, barely avoiding Mary’s morning coffee. “I need help understanding your son.” Much to Castiel’s consternation, Dean… isn’t happy with the heaven Cas and Jack have designed and built for him. If that wasn’t clear enough from his preference for universe-hopping to alternate worlds over spending time in the heaven literally designed to be his personal peaceful paradise, or his in turns defiant and despondent attitude when grounded (read: when he hasn’t quite figured out how to chew through the plastic of his “cage” yet again)… it would be impossible for Cas to miss the fact that Dean will barely speak to him. Instead, he afflicts Castiel with one-track cassette tapes.

On a symbolic level, to me, heaven in SPN represents false paradise. It represents Free Will losing to Destiny. It’s a hopeless, helpless, ultimate: “No matter what you do, you will always end up here”. Even if you succeed at defying The Man in life, you will ultimately be forced back into a heaven where someone else’s vision for your life plays out for the rest of eternity, sold as "paradise". You will always end up back in The Beautiful Room. The afterlife doesn't have to be conceptualized that way, but I think the "new" heaven in 15.20 still heavily misses the mark for me in this regard, especially given the surrounding context.

All of that said, in a more general sense, I think what you do with heaven in a fix-it fic really depends heavily on what relational/emotional themes you're exploring in the fic. For example, say I want to write a fic where Dean reflects on his life being full of responsibilities that were too big and how this deeply warped his sense of self-worth. Say though that I largely explore Dean's feelings and reflections on this through Jack, in the present, cracking under the pressure of being expected to be God. A narratively satisfying ending to that fix-it might intentionally leave the question of what exactly becomes of heaven an open question, because the catharsis in the end is that it isn't Jack's (or anyone else in TFW's) responsibility to figure that out. To have Jack say "I'm trying so hard to make everyone happy everyone wants me to make paradise and I don't know how and I'm drowning", and for Dean to say "You don't have to make paradise. You don't have to do any of this. It isn't your job." Could be a very emotionally poignant conclusion to a fic that focuses on that theme.

I wonder if taking even a further step back would also help? By which I mean: the concept of a heaven as a whole, or hell, or purgatory... they're all assumedly of Chuck's design, and while that doesn't make having four afterlife locations (including The Empty) inherently bad, it also doesn't make make for inherently good design either—practically or ethically. The angels were having trouble keeping the lights on upstairs as their numbers dwindled, Purgatory is an absolute mess (think about where Garth and Bess and their kids will end up...) The only place possibly doing okay in the end is Hell, under Rowena's rule. Death had lots of concerns about balance between the various afterlife areas and I actually think it would be hilarious to give Death... 4.0? a heart attack by just being like "Well... what if we just got rid of some of these places? What if we were trying to stay upright and balance on a seesaw instead of on a ball that can turn in any direction? Do we really need a separate afterlife for monsters? Can heaven and hell just both be in the same place and Rowena and a few other people run it?" Though the need for a new Death could also mean... a new one comes in with a new idea about how to structure the afterlife, but then you also have to ask yourself how intricately you want to detail any of this. If your primary goal is to build the most comprehensive possible fix-it fic that addresses any conceivable question a reader might have about the new reason of the world, then you might finely detail the new concept of the afterlife. On the other hand, if you're more interested in exploring an emotional theme, it might make sense to have whatever happens or doesn't happen with heaven symbolize or relate to an emotional/relational theme within in your story.

Idk that was very rambly sorry I hope it helps a little with brainstorming!

#mail #spn finale poo poo

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adultswim2021 · 10 months

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Metalocalypse #27: “Dethwedding” | April 1, 2008 - 1:15AM | S02E07

Hey it’s been a little while since we got to watch Metalocalypse. In this one, Pickles brother Seth invites Dethklok to his wedding, which already advertises the fact that the wedding “features” Dethklok. His video invitation is hilarious. Seth is dressed in his Sunday best set against serene backdrops while he brags about his sobriety. Pickles is mortified to the point of despondency. The other band members just think it’s very, very funny.

The tribunal explains what American weddings are during one of their meetings. These scenes can be a pointless reminder that there is such a thing as the tribunal, and it also lends a false sense of gravity to the plot of each episode. It also serves what might be an accidental function of supplying future-proof context; let’s say there comes a day when the once-standard American wedding becomes an obsolete curiosity.

Or, let’s say this episode is being shown to a species of aliens who have no idea what a wedding is. You know the type of aliens I’m talking about: the kind that mock our god, oppressively holding up the Holy Bible and remarking “HUMAN PROPAGANDA”.* Just by satirically describing what a wedding is brings all those weirdos up to speed, even though it seems gratuitous. The tribunal actually declare that they will not intervene. Why would they? Dethklok’s just going to a wedding, for fuck’s sake.

*I am actually making a very specific reference to a circa-early-2000s episode of The Outer Limits, where a robot does this. I don’t know the title of the episode, but Heather Graham is in it.

Things are tense between Pickles and his brother. Seth immediately starts drinking again. He has scumbag friends who suck. Seth constantly asks for money. Dethklok perform a song with a little music video accompaniment (for us watching on television at least) featuring a married couple decaying and then eventually mutating into one another, getting all Cronenbergy. Dethklock get Seth a blender, which is just an item on his wedding gift registry. When Seth chews out Pickles for cheaping out, Pickles beats his brother up. Later, he feels bad, so he installs Seth as the head of Dethklok Australia, whose leader was recently assassinated by the Revengencers. Over the closing credits we see Seth thriving in his new position at the absolute expense of Sydney, Australia, which is practically in ruins while he surveys his land, doing a big smile like a tyrant would.

This one is very good. Metalocalypse’s misanthropic sense of humor really shines. The show will often show spectacular examples of gore and mayhem, but nothing is treated with grim incapability like family is...treated. With. Fuck. You know what the whole not ending your sentence with a preposition thing is lame and bad. It’s not that I’m bad at writing. I’m taking a stand.

The show has been taken down from HBOMax since the last time I watched it. It’s currently streaming on Adult Swim. At a glance it seems like it’s streaming in its entirety. It may or may not require a cable log-in. Actually, I’ll check in a private browser. Hang on. Okay. I did it. It played! It’s also on DVD, which is nice, but my copy’s digipak has shattered disc hubs so the discs are not fully secure in the box. Not good. Is there a way to fix this? Wait. Let me google it myself. Okay. Huh. I found something called “adhesive-backed spider DVD/CD disc hubs” that literally might be the exact thing I’m looking for. Wow. Well, you learn something extremely important like that every day, don’t you?

EPHEMERA CORNER

youtube

Robert Zunes In (2007)*

Remember when I was asking about the Robert Osbourne host intros? I’m guessing these are what that wiki was talking about! Either whoever wrote that got confused (these were taken from a ZUNE that Adult Swim gave away I guess with select episodes of select shows loaded onto them), or they repurposed some of those intros for the April Fools stunt. Neat! Thank you Kon for finding this and showing me them. Thank you.

*JOKE STOLEN FROM LONDON ARBUCKLE BECAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO ASK IF I COULD USE IT

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #metalocalypse

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buffyspeak · 11 months

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forgot to say this earlier but izzy was v cute on her date with charlie <3 like he’s sweet and all but idk i just got really choked up about “i don’t really do this” and how smiley and giggly and happy she was. because like!!! she Does Not! has not, ever! she does flings and hookups and casual relationships with the understanding that it’s not long-term partnership, even if it’s ongoing and has genuine feelings attached - and to be clear, none of that is bad! she very clearly enjoys it! there is not one right way to Do Relationships! but whatever feelings one may have about the doylist Why of it, she very clearly does long for some sort of relationship that happens to be out of her comfort zone. she begins to feel that she needs something that she is not getting from the kinds of relationships she has historically been in.

raphael was fully the catalyst btw. and while his asexuality is about him first and foremost - i think the fact that he cares about isabelle inn some capacity, has feelings for her, and sees her value outside of sex made her reevaluate her priorities in relationships. Things (TM) got in the way, but izzy says to clary that what she almost maybe had with raphael made her realize that she wanted more. (again, ‘more’ is not an ideal word, just the one she used becaue it is hard for people, writers of this show included, to conceptualize that casual relationships can be meaningful in their own way. but she very clearly is wanting something different than what she’s ever let herself pursue.)

it’s kind of why, on a narrative level, i get why simon is a good match for her, even if i generally agree that how it happens feels forced and rushed. (aside from that just being book!canon, which i do not really subscribe to dhdhdh.) like. it was never going to work with charlie because she would either have to bring him further into her world - which would endanger him and therefore she would not do - or keep seeing him but keep him in the dark about the shadow world. which she quickly realizes is unsustainable. (and would probably still endanger him if she kept on tbh).

simon’s a good balance because i think he embodies a lot of what draws her in about charlie. they’re both kind and treat her with a kind of gentleness few do. (her brothers of course, but that’s a) a different dynamic altogether and b) muddied by the fact that they’re all soldiers together and can’t always afford to be gentle.) simon, i’m willing to bet, would take her on lots of cute dates. like!!! simon just represents humanity in Such a Specific way, in perseverance, in loyalty, in still having passion for things like music and video games. and despite her flaws, i think one of izzy’s best traits is that she sees the value in this more than most of her people do, she’s drawn to it, she understands that the joy of the mundane world is what they’re actually protecting, what they’re fighting for.

and simon can be all that to her but still will understand when she has to cancel a date because patrol is going long or whatever. lmao.

(okay this is already so long and windy and going a million directions but. here’s the thing i don’t doubt that izzy has genuine romantic feelings and love for simon. i try to take it in good faith when it’s clear characters are written as having feelings for each other. it just occurred to me that how hopeless and lowkey depressed or at least… somewhat despondent and apathetic about her future prospects izzy seemed at the start of s3 is bc. idk how many options she felt she had? like. idk. as established, mundanes are just… not super viable. other shadowhunters are…. largely probably not willing? for better or worse, she has the lightwood name, and it’s tainted. also, i’m shot back to season one where maryse told izzy that she couldn’t do the arranged marriage because no one would have her because of her past relationships with downworlders. and while maryse was being undoubtedly cruel there, i also don’t think she was like, wrong. narratively it would always make the most sense for her to ‘end up’ with someone from the downworld but even then…. public shadowhunter/downworld relationships are shown to be rare!!! alec and magnus are a Big Deal for a lot of reasons and this is one of them!!! and many downworlders (for good reason!!) would have a lot of trouble trusting a shadowhunter in a capital R Relationship. so while there may have been downworlders who were willing to interact with izzy - who would like and respect her, even ! - i find it likely that given all that and her past reputation, many would probably only be willing to engage in a casual dynamic with her. which is no longer what she wants!

so izzy’s somewhat depresso espresso moment in the show is caused because she knows she wants to make a change in the way she does relationships and she’s also incredibly aware of how, like, there are Several Obstacles.

but again on the sizzy front this is not actually a bad thing for them because. simon is in a really weird but good place in terms of. he knows about the shadow world and can relate to izzy on that level. but he is also literally still So New to the shadow world that he has no preconceived notions of her. he meets her with no expectations, good or bad, of what it should mean that she’s a lightwood or a shadowhunter. the first three people he meets from this world are izzy and her brothers, two people that love her to death, and even though at this juncture simon does not care much for alec or jace, he is a smart and observant person. he knows how much they love her. he was always a little pre-disposed to eventually love her too, i think. he sees her as a more complete person than many do - he sees her (eventually) as a badass shadowhunter and a terrible cook and someone who’s scared of rats and doesn’t know how to do pinky promises and loves her family more than she knows what do with. he just sees her and yes, loves her, eventually, but i think what’s maybe more meaningful to her is honestly that he LIKES her, just, as a person. not just because she’s hot or strong or a lightwood (*which certainly feels like the only reason her parent’s care, at least sometimes) but because she’s Izzy.)

#shadowhunters rewatch 2023 #long post //#this is incoherent bordering on gibberish #it was supposed to be an ‘izzy cute :D’ post and instead i word vomited #i had a lot of thoughts and feelings #isabelle lightwood #tag later #not sure this makes one lick of sense #but i spentban hour on it and it is so long I cannot just delete it #i am now. SO sleepy

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outeremissary · 1 year

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PFKM for the thing. gimme the god tier Emi Opinions

It took me long enough to type this up to get the question a second time whoops

[Image ID: An ask from kuroimarzipan reading "someones gotta ask u about kingmaker for the fandom ask meme and im gonna be that person"]

Buckle up, everyone, because this will be very long, variably coherent, and likely things a lot of folks have heard before!

Favorite Male Character

[Image ID: A three part meme taken from the Simpsons. In the first picture, a group gathers around Bart's desk, saying "Say the line, Emi!" In the second, Bart says "Tristian" with a dejected face of resignation. In the final image the class cheers around the despondent Bart.]

I know I have a certain reputation. The reputation for having lost my sanity and likely my dignity as well on account of that pathetic priest. That guy haunts me in ways you can't imagine. That guy was the cause of some strain with my ex, who was very tired of hearing about Tristian. It has destroyed any respect my irl friends have for me. And I think the worst part is that I don't even even think he's attractive. I find his face dull and in every way he's not at all my type. It would be better if this was just a mind lost to horny thing I think.

Anyway. For better or worse I'm in it with this guy for the forseeable future, and I have a Lot Of Thoughts About That. I know I've said before that when I started Kingmaker, I was so confident that I wouldn't be at all interested in Tristian as a character that I settled on playing a male character because of it. The universe mocks me, I swear. And I was right until that guy started being a little weird and a little fucked up! And then suddenly I had to know more, and then he was in the party temporarily, and then permanently, and he's just so pathetic in all the right ways... And the way that despite that sweet, holy character there would be moments of startling condescension or naive accidental cruelty... the fact that everything about his background was so clearly a lie... Agh, it drew me in, and then the betrayal sealed the deal. Curse my love of traitors, and of inhuman things straining under the weight of sudden humanity! Something wretched has taken hold of me. This is my own curse.

I think it's insult to injury that I really love Tristian's voice as well. Life is so cruel.

Anyway! Tristian is a fantastically compelling character because I love the way that nothing is actually quite a front with him despite the fact that he's deceiving you. He's so painfully sincere about being compassionate and altruistic. He really does want the best for you and to set you on the right path. He's blindingly sweet and kind and naive, but at the same time is capable of committing to truly terrifying acts for his own selfish goals. He's so terrified of his flaws that he can lie to himself about his own motives and overcome his intense aversion to falsehood to lie to you... I love the way that even when there are cracks in his story, he's somehow so difficult to disbelieve because it's so counter to his nature to be up to anything sinister that somehow, the mind rejects the evidence (mine did, at least). I like that much like Nyrissa he's someone who thought of himself as the main character of every story he was a part of (or at least deserving of a leading role) and who is now soundly punished for his hubris by living in a way he believes makes him a shadow of himself. And I like that all of his darkness is just a part of him! Like I said- no falsehoods. There's no "fake" Tristian. Every bit of it is real. It makes him feel so complex and human.

Anyway Tristian nonbinary I was told that by the owlcat itself it's true and I'm right

Favorite Female Character

In a game with two of the best girlbosses ever made, it's so hard to choose... but choose I shall, because I came to this game for one perfect woman, and I'm committed to the scythe wife, who has never let me down. I adore Jaethal! She's cool as hell, of course, by virtue of being a tall (no one argue I'm right) spooky undead lady with a giant scythe. But I also just find her a delight to be around. That unflappable immortal arrogance makes her funny as hell. There's not a single line from her that isn't iconic, I swear. The experience of being in some serious cutscene and having her interrupt with something mortifying like "well we all know family is what really matters" is integral to Kingmaker, I think. You're really missing something playing without that. And her backstory? Also an 11/10. She's a lawyer. She's a serial killer. She's a cultist. She's a milf. She's the worst person to have at your family gatherings. She's everything to me.

And of course, what I especially love about her are what we might term her "bestie qualities." I love that she's absolutely, unfailingly honest, even when she might have every reason to lie. She'll tell you so straightforwardly that she's undead, and then without any hesitation about her Extremely Criminal Past. She's confident that you'll either work with her, or that if you won't then she doesn't need you (she is, after all, immortal. eternal. everlasting.). But if you place your trust in her, it's rewarded with unwavering loyalty and earnest counsel. She always cuts to the point and never tries to manipulate or flatter. She's always absolutely, unapologetically herself. I love that about her. She feels like such a natural match for an evil character. She's ruthless and seeks power, but she's also content with what she finds at your side and is so fiercely devoted.

Then after saying all that, there's the fact she has easily the best companion quest in the game! Even though we see so little of Nortellara, I love the relationship between them. Jaethal has such complicated feelings for her offspring: she's controlling and condescending, but at the same time has some affection for the girl despite herself. I love the part of her first quest when after turning the nameless elvish girl for having a resemblance to her daughter, she reacts to her with disgust for displaying what she feels is a cowardice that would be beneath Nortellara. She thinks a lot of the girl- although at the same time, the way she thinks of Nortellara is also a reflection of how she sees herself. The question of how much of that affection and respect is for Nortellara as an individual vs. Nortellara as the miniature Jaethal she thinks that she's succeeded in making her is also one I find myself turning over in my head. Jaethal is one of the video game parents of all time to me

Least Favorite Character

Of the companions? Jubilost. Shoutout to Jubilost for being the only companion I hold no warmth in my heart for. I know this is a bit of a controversial take (and also that you've heard it from me already, for the most part), but I truly can't stand that guy. He's funny sometimes, sure, and I really like his questline (especially the Inconsequent Debates for letting me see my bestest immortal friend in the whole universe), but he frustrates me as a person. You know how Jaethal is a fun and cool fictional villain? Jubilost is a real dude I could find on Reddit right now. Or Twitter. Or in my high school yearbook, since he'd have been one of the classmates mad at me for taking the top spot in class rankings from my betters (cis men). I really tried to like him, and I did my best to committing to him in the party on my second playthrough, but he ran out my patience in record time with the way he talked to Octavia (as well as to Linzi and Valerie). I don't care if she started it, his responses disgust me.

In terms of non-companions...? That chieftain of the Six Bears, Akaia. For some similar reasons, that guy obviously sucks. Don't even need to say much more about it. He's lame and obviously he was made to be hated. He doesn't even have any amusing quips. Amiri deserves to do a little murder to him. As a treat.

Favorite Ship

It is no news to you or anyone else who's known me for more than two days that my brain has been absolutely melted by Balthazar/Tristian. That has held me at goddamn knifepoint for over two years now. Send help. I know I covered the two of them at some length here, here, and here. I really love the way that they're kind of foils to one another- the trickster and the earnest priest, the aasimar desperately rejecting his heritage and the fallen angel willing to do anything to claw his way back to heaven. And I love the ways that they're the same as well. They're both suffering at the hands of the expectations placed on them for a celestial nature, expectations neither can meet. Both have the same fierce commitment to their ideals, and both are also gifted liars. There's a lot there. It's like accidentally tripping into making some kind of shonen rival ship. It makes me so deranged.

Though if you asked me to pick something that doesn't involve my beloved special OC and isn't the easy Octavia and Regongar (I want them to work it out so bad)... I'd say Linzi and Amiri! i like Linzi's gay little crush on Amiri, it's really cute.

On the other hand my dark and evil fave is that I am secretly a Nyrissa/Tristian guy. I just like... there's something about that. There's something about the Stockholm ship.

Favorite Friendship

I mean. Jaethal and Balthazar, of course. Mean bisexual alliance. I love how in sync they tend to be, and I love the trust that can exist between two evil people. :) Every tyrant needs a loyal right hand! I also think that she's someone who has always been able to see through his deceptions and fronts and is able to cut straight to what's on his mind- she demands an earnesty that's terribly unfamiliar at first, but trusting her comes to be second nature.

If we remove my OC from the equation though... I really love seeing Octavia and Harrim interact, and the moments here and there that she's able to break through that gloom and coax out some little positive response, a smile or a good natured comment. The unstoppable optimist and the persistent pessimist being pals is just :)

Favorite Quote

For once in my life, I don't need to think for even a minute about it. "You are my reflection, Balthazar, just a little luckier." I know I even made a whole post gushing about it on the side blog! It's my favorite, and her telling you not to bow down before power, just as she never did, in the same conversation. Wow. Wow. I just... she's everything, you know?

Honorary mention though to "I'm lying to you again, Balthazar." I'm so insane brained about Tristian there had to be something here, right? All of his dramatic and self-pitying stuff (especially the self-pitying stuff) is dear to my heart, but something about the frank admission of not only the most abhorrent selfishness but the act of catching himself trying to conceal it is really amazing to me. I mean, there's so much character in just that. He's someone who's so burdened by shame that even when he tries to confess one he's compulsively still hiding and minimizing, and he sees it as a sign that he's fallen so far and become so sullied. But I think it's one of the most human things about him. I find it painfully relatable. I find it so fascinating that he's a character who holds himself to impossible standards who by the time of story has already long since failed in his attempt to live up to them. And of course, the attempt to return to the time that things were perfect and he could live with them only tangles him further and further in things that shame and humiliate him and make him a stranger to himself. I really love the struggle he's always going through to understand himself and accept these flaws.

Worst Character Death (if any)

That BASTARD TRISTIAN! I don't hold Jaethal accountable for what happened there just. Full hands in head. Aaaagh. Devastated! Heartbroken! Dismayed! Ripped my heart out of my chest! The only fatality I had in the House on my first playthrough and it was a NIGHTMARE. I knew it was coming, my roommate had warned me, but I still had such a hollow feeling in my chest afterwards. The book in the House that has Tristian's memories made me full on tear up. His death is also the reason that Balthazar killed Nyrissa instead of taking the opportunity from Shyka to be crueler- after that there was no playing around. She had to die, and that was that.

Of course, Nyrissa's death was also the worst. She's such a wonderful character that it was devastating to lose her. But I think there's a certain poetry to it. Even if you kill her, in the end you become her. And if you emerge victorious from the struggle against the Lantern King, then it's her victory too. You're the understudy who's filled her role and you'll see the show through to the end. I like to think she'd be happy to see what you did with it. I love her so much my heart aches btw

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

Oh, there are many options in the epic highs and lows of Pathfinder: Kingmaker. But a really memorable one from the first go around was talking down the mob in Season of Bloom by seizing on the words of Balthazar's very few supporters and using them to just gaslight the crowd into sad submission. RIP to the common people of the Stolen Lands but I love the evil diplomancy win. Along similar lines would be talking Hargulka into beating Tartuk to a bloody pulp (sorry Tartuk) and then recruiting him on the spot afterwards, recruiting one of Nyrissa's lieutenants by being the scariest motherfucker she'd ever met (I love when my feeble posh aasimar gets to intimidate!), instilling a puppet ruler over the Tiger Lords... basically all the cheating bastard evil diplomacy wins. I'm so grateful that Kingmaker allowed me to play my concept to the fullest.

But also every moment that Shyka was onscreen because them make me so happy :)

Saddest Moment

Aside from that asshole Tristian dying on me? Well, I remember the ending slides I got the first time around were... largely pretty rough. Jaethal leaving was :( But aside from that. Umm. Linzi death. Linzi scripted death got me. Even having disliked her for most of the game before that, suddenly having her pulled away, finding that she died for you even after her spirit was broken and she had become disillusioned... there was something tragic about that, especially playing a character who hadn't really valued her and had encouraged her to make self-destructive choices. I think there's something about seeing her give herself up in blind trust one last time for the hero she's given everything to is, from a meta perspective, extremely sad. I suppose she didn't really know that her encounter with Nyrissa would end in death, but I think our robin understood what she was gambling with. And then the epilogues finishing with the "and now I shall go silent forever" as if her life amounted to no more value than being the vessel for the main character's tale... never! That's devastating as well! And hard to reconcile with a protagonist who had already told her not to put a period on things when the story was far from over.

Favorite Location

Vordakai's Tomb. *the crowd boos* No no hear me out I just think it's a really compelling and atmospheric story location!!! I think it's an excellently paced dungeon with a lot of fascinating parts!!! Like, it's so neat down there. I like the variation in the dungeon geography, which is some of the most interesting environmental storytelling in the game. Being stalked by Vordakai's familiar (and watching in despair as you optimistic dumbass companions give up their names) is neat. We get some sweet, sweet leadup to Tristian breakdown, and the iconic "if something like, happened to me, and you never saw me again for some reason, is there anything you'd want to say to me...?" He makes me yearn for the sweet embrace of death sometimes. But yeah. The sense of dread down there is cool, I like being properly locked in, it's a good dungeon. As a dungeon aficionado, I'm fond of it!

I love the capital before it becomes a city as well, and a lot of the nondescript forest locations. Many locations are hard to love due to being actively attacked in them, alas.

#hearing about the emi opinions makes me feel like some kind of kingmaker philosopher lol #oracle of the hell game #sage of the stolen lands #I'm sorry if this was long and repetitive it took me um. jeez. two or more hours to write (I'm so slow)#it's so much. I know it's so much.#I need to sleep so badly now though oops #pfkm spoilers #pfkm #ask me emithing #ask game #I've said all this and yet I could still say more. as befits the asshole with the 50+ page note document.#camelliagwerm #userharps #kuroimarzipan

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rancim · 1 year

Text

2/22

Lately I've taken to retreating to the meditation room at the end of my shifts. Normally I would retreat to havens of interest, bookstores, cafes, or even wandering aimlessly somewhere large, filled with people, but what I've learned from working the night shift is that there are very few places to wander around confidently, and moreso, anonymously. To be awake and functioning at this time is already egregious in a way.

The meditation room offers sanctum. What one notices if granted entry is the sheer quiet of the room, insulated from the outside sounds, and even moreso, free of the beeping and flashing and measuring machines that keep me anxious. The meditation room is quiet, offering a view of the parking lot, cars ensconced underneath solar panels like hermit crabs, and watching the rare sight of a car coming and going, an attendant nurse, an insomniac family member, is a kind of mindless calm that, if not necessarily bringing peace to turbulence, at the least offers respite for a second.

I used to entertain the idea that in my thirties, I would be looking out instead at some shimmering city skyline, myself held aloft in the air in my shitty apartment, a lover, on the verge of family, career, some kind of niceness. But I was not brave enough to unknot myself from my family, afraid of independence from them, knowing that leaving them sick and despondent would leave me regret, and so I stayed, and now I am saddled with a different kind of regret, an inability to imagine a future not involving the complete and abject rejection of self to take care of my father.

It is different, and it is what it is, and we must accept our lots in life with brave faces, for more likely than not there isn't a single human being on this dumb planet that imagined the course of their life and actualized it in a way that wasn't diverged by reality.

I cannot lie and deny that it isn't lonely. It is very lonely. Ideally the family unit would come together and support each other in trying times, but in practice everyone is at each other's throats. I am trying to provide a foundational middle ground for them to resolve their stresses around, or to be someone that is yelled at because they aren't able to communicate effectively and default to undermining to prop themselves up, and what have you. That I understand is my role. To be vulnerable for a single second is to invite the other person to interpret it as a moment to unfurl, and we switch places and I listen. I know I am doing my best, but it is tiring, so so tiring.

I wish I had a connection outside of my blood to unfurl myself on. I have friends of course, and I do rely on them, but only to the extent that I think they can tolerate me. They have their own lives and ideals to live out there, and to drag them into my stagnation would fill me with guilt if not dread.

I should have tried to foster more connections or bolster the ones that I had lost before I started stagnating. In my mind, my mental image of myself is someone buried at the bottom of a wasteland, crushed by the detritus of things I should have tried harder to discard but couldn't, and now trying to make the best underneath the crushing weight of it all.

I am tired I am tired I am tired and surely, frustrating to listen to.

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fluffy-critter · 2 years

Text

#crosspost #busybee

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oitommothetease · 3 years

Text

Invisible String (9/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2k words

You weren't a morning person, hell, you weren’t even a person in the morning. Therefore, when you woke up to two kids playing with your hair and jumping on your bed, you wanted to strangle them or shove them on the floor. But again, you loved those little demons so you just groaned loudly, clearly irritated and you decided to keep your eyes closed, hoping that your ignorance will make them leave you alone. You squeezed your eyes shut and didn't open them until you heard a familiar voice chuckling.

“Carol told me you aren't a morning person, but this-” James didn't finish his sentence, his lips breaking into a cheeky grin, and as much annoyed as you were at his teasing, you kind of thought he looked gorgeous. Who looked so gorgeous this early in the morning? A smile made its way to your face and you instantly wiped it off, feigning offense.

“Carol? You're already on a first-name basis with my sister?”

“Aw, don't worry, doll. I'm just trying to be friendly with your family or should I say my future family as your mother reminded me ten minutes ago,” he pestered, moving towards you to hand you the cup of coffee in his hand. Bucky winked teasingly when you accepted it, and you mumbled a ‘thank you’.

That pet name made your stomach do some somersaults and you didn't trust yourself enough to speak. It's not like the first time he called you ‘doll’, in fact, he had been calling you that the moment you started fake dating. But it was something about the way he said it as if the word was made for you and nobody could say that word unless it wasn't voiced by him for you. He didn't notice the flush in your eyes and even if he did, he didn't mention it.

“That’s it. You’re done hanging out with my family,” you articulated, “You are officially infected.”

“Don’t be like that, doll. Come on, breakfast’s ready.”

At the age of 18, when you were finally a college girl, you decided that breakfast was a myth created by Satan. When you lived with your parents, the breakfast consisted of extravagant food like pancakes, waffles and fruits. Once you moved away for college, your breakfast shifted to coffee and maybe a toast if you had the time before your first lecture. And the second you were independent, coffee became your boyfriend, keeping you up at night and also, your best friend, keeping you up in the morning without dozing off in classes.

So, sitting again at a dining table with your family and fake boyfriend/boss was very awkward, to say the least. But of course, your sister had the magical ability where she took an awkward silence and converted it into an uncomfortable conversation.

“We hope we didn't wake you up last night. Nick and I tend to get loud sometimes,” Carol joked and you coughed, choking on your food, and James laughed awkwardly.

James' hand instinctively came to your back, running calming circles with his palm and you shot a deathly glare to your sister.

“Oh, we know all about that,” James teased, bringing your chair closer to him. Your eyes widened and you whipped your head towards him so quickly that your neck hurt. What was he saying? This man, your boyfriend, fake boyfriend was a completely different person than your boss (not that you were complaining). He was funny, charming, he made you feel comfortable and something else you weren’t ready to point out just yet.

You could see yourself falling for a man like James. No, he is your boss and sort of criminal. Get your shit together, you told yourself.

After the very awkward breakfast, thanks to Carol. Your mother told you to show James around town and you would have said no but that meant you’d have to stay at home with your family, which was worse. So when James accepted your offer to go to your favorite burger place nearby, you were relieved.

“This burger is amazing, but nothing compared to Barry’s,” James stated.

You nodded your head, chewing the remnant of food in your mouth properly before speaking, “Nothing compares to Sally and her food.”

You liked being with James, everything about him made you want this, the real thing with him, not the whole faux boyfriend play. You wanted him and you were sure that he didn’t. One look at him was sufficient for anyone to know how handsome he was, and how oblivious he was to the waitress ogling him. He didn’t spare her a glance, he was probably used to the attention that he stopped caring about it. Of course, if you weren't overthinking at the moment, you would have noticed that he didn't care about anyone else - well, except you.

“The waitress was totally checking you out,” you informed James. You were very jealous, but you wouldn't stop your crush on your boss to stop him from living his life. He had already sacrificed a lot for you, you didn't want to cock-block him on top of that.

“No, she wasn’t,” he huffed, looking at you for any sign that this conversation displeased you the way it did him.

“I swear she was,” you said, “You should ask her out. She’s cute.”

“No, I’m taken.”

“But you’re not taken, James. This isn’t real,” you retorted and it hurt you so much to say. Sometimes you wished you could be a selfish bitch but you couldn’t do that to James. He deserves someone who would cherish and love him, not give him a faux relationship. “You should ask her out.”

“Do you want me to?” James asked, his voice was laced with desperation that you couldn't understand. Why would he care about your opinion?

Bucky hoped that you would say no, he needed a sign to know that you wanted him too. His tone was despondent because he was hoping that this could be more. He really wanted it to be. But when you said yes, everything came shattering down for him. You didn’t want him and God, he was so frustrated that he could cry. What sick game was the universe playing with him? He felt like a rat stuck in a cage with cheese right outside, in front of him. Even though he was so close to you, you were still out of his reach.

“You know what?,” he pondered, “Now that I think about it maybe I should ask her out?”

“Like right now?” you questioned, taken aback by his sudden and unexpected change in demeanor.

“Yeah!” he cheered enthusiastically, “No time like the present, right? You can get home by yourself?”

He didn’t wait for your answer, already walking back towards the restaurant, and you murmured a ‘yeah’ which he didn’t even notice because he was already jogging towards the burger place.

When you reached home alone, tears welled up in your eyes, and you ran up to the bathroom to avoid stumbling upon your family. Maybe you shouldn't have pushed him, maybe if you didn’t then he wouldn’t have pursued the waitress. He wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t shove him towards the cute waitress. Why were you such a good person?

Your thoughts were brought to a halt with frantic knocks on the door. Instantly, you wiped your eyes and opened up the door to be met with your sister’s kids. Izzy and Alex didn’t give you any time before getting a hold of your hand and rushing you outside to help them set up the trampoline.

Your family was already out there, and you hoped your face didn’t say, ’I've been crying in the bathroom.’ Your sister and her husband were seated on a blanket which was spread out on the grass, sipping wine, and your parents were admiring their grandchildren.

“Auntie Y/N!” Alex exclaimed and Izzy added, “Help us fix the trampoline please.”

You agreed because those two were the only people in the world that considered you their friend without asking for anything in return. Moreover, it was a good distraction, if you stayed in a room thinking about James, then you would probably lose your sanity. So, once you started setting up the trampoline for the kids, it became somewhat fun, and you almost forgot all about James, and how he must be talking to that girl and how that girl must be flirting with him. You hoped he didn’t call her doll, you knew you were being unreasonable and immature, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Izzy and Alex made their way towards their parents and whispered something about you being so in love with James that his absence made you angry.

You ignored them and the way your sister smiled, you were so focused on fitting the trampoline spring that you did not realize someone was standing behind you until two strong hands came around you, taking the spring from your hand and attaching it to the corner.

You knew it was James, no one would touch your hand so gently, any other man would have snatched the spring from your hold and mansplained it’s process to you. But James wasn’t doing that, he wanted to be near you, to have your attention fully that is why he took the spring from you. He didn’t undermine you. No, he desired you to notice him, the guy who has been trying all weekend to get you to like him. He wanted you to see Bucky, not your boss, James.

You could feel his head looming over your shoulder, you dared to crane your neck in his direction to find him already looking at you with a smile on his face. You were so dazed in his eyes that you didn’t notice that he was wearing a white shirt instead of the one he wore in the morning. You did not notice that he didn’t leave you to get the waitress’s number, instead he got a customized shirt that read 'I heart Y/N'. You only noticed him.

Furthermore, you didn’t care about anything else at the moment, just him. Bucky eyed your lips longer than he should have and leaned a bit towards you; a question. You answered his question by closing the distance between you and crashing your lips with his. His hands engulfed around your waist, flushing your back against his chest and he kissed you feverishly.

The kids were right.

You were in love, and that love was reciprocated by the man who was holding you like you were his archer and kissing you like you were the source of his last breath. But both of you were too unaware to realize that the other felt the same way.

Everyone could see that, your mother looked over at your father and your sister looked at her husband, smiling, reminiscing the way they fell in love just like you and Bucky. The kids looked at you both with hope, aspiring to have a love like that in their future, the kind they saw in movies and in the couples around them.

What you didn't realize was that there was one other set of eyes watching you from a car in the distance. Rumlow finally found his rival's vulnerability, and he was going to do everything in his power to exploit and eventually kill Bucky’s weakness, his love, you.

TAGS: @bananapipedreams @akkinda10 @rivers-rambles21 @emmabarnes @valsworldofcreativity @boofy1998 @marvel-3407 @mybuck @priii @coffeebooksandfandom @ladydmalfoy @shaking-a-jar-of-bees

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n

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tennessoui · 3 years

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29 G.A.t.W. AU - The C.W.s start 2yrs early bc of Galactic Law EVERY Natborn in the GAR MUST be 18yr old. Obi-Wan is forced to leave behind his young Padawan. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.. Without the Masters being able to be there physically they have to start training programs to help the Pawadans. Every Master now has to teach certain subjects. Anakin finally sees a mind healer & finds inner peaces without the Council breathing down his neck. The Temple Locked Down so No Sith Influenc

so this is a beautiful ask and beautiful future and i followed it like i follow my google maps directions which means maybe 30% of the way but i was watching lord of the rings and thinkin about braids so here is this and i'm very sorry it's what it is

29. Going Away To War AU (Tatooine slave culture, 17!Anakin, preslash/Anakin's pining, mullet!Obi-Wan)(2.3k)

The Padawan braid isn’t the first braid Anakin learns about. It’s not even the fiftieth. By the time Qui-Gon Jinn, Queen Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi land on Tatooine, Anakin is well-versed in the language of braids and what each means. He hadn’t had any of his own yet, seeing as how he was only nine with no accomplishments or triumphs or romantic entanglements to advertise, but if he had stayed on Tatooine, he’d probably have gotten his first braid after he won the podrace.

HIs mother would have done it with gentle hands and a proud smile, and their neighbors would have gathered outside their door to try and be the first one to congratulate him.

Braids are important. They’re sacred. Their style and the beads woven through the strands signify everything important to know about the Tatooinian wearing them. He’d see the freed people’s braids in the marketplace and burn with envy. He’d see a blushing girl braid her lover’s obsidian into his hair to signify courtship, and know one day he’d do the same to someone else. He’d practice his braids until his hands hurt from the motion, wanting to be perfect at it before he’d need to know. After all, as a slave, there wouldn’t be much else he could offer them except beautiful braids and beads.

There is only one braid he doesn’t know the meaning of, and it’s the one that hung down Obi-Wan Kenobi’s shoulder when they first met.

He thinks about asking him, even though it might be considered rude, but before he can, they’re at the Jedi Temple, then on Naboo and then Master Jinn is dead and Obi-Wan’s braid is gone, and Anakin thinks, oh. So the braid means love.

Mourners on Tatooine cut the braids off their dead and then a single braid from their own head, to mean that a part of themselves has died as well. Obi-Wan tries to be extra nice to Obi-Wan after that.

That is, until the man approaches Anakin with a serrated knife and a rueful grin and tells him that because the Council has allowed him to take him as his padawan, it’s time for Anakin to have the Padawan haircut.

The fit Anakin throws at these words could probably be heard back on Tatooine, but his new master must be made of the same strength Lukka crafts the sandstorms from, because an hour later, Anakin is looking at his shorn locks on the floor in a state of horrified shock.

Obi-Wan kneels down at his side as he begins braiding together the lone strand of hair Anakin has been allowed to keep.

“I’m sorry,” his master says quietly. “I know that your hair is very important to you on Tatooine.”

“How will I practice my braids now?” Anakin asks despondently. If he is to have short hair until he’s Obi-Wan’s age (ancient), then he won’t ever be able to practice the courtship braids. The engagement braids. The marriage braids. All the other ones too. Do the Jedi just present their beloveds with sloppy braids?

The thought has him near tears.

Obi-Wan looks very panicked. “Please don’t cry,” he begs. “Jedi apprentices shouldn’t cry.”

Anakin’s vision becomes even more blurred at this. Now he’ll never be able to practice his braids and he’s a bad Jedi.

“Oh blast, that’s not what I meant,” Obi-Wan backtracks, hesitantly putting his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. It’s not very comforting, but it’s the best Anakin has so he resolves to make do and lean into the touch. “Well. You can, uh. You can braid my hair?”

Anakin sniffles. “Your hair is short. And ugly.”

His master laughs and ruffles Anakin’s own short hair. “I’ll grow it out, just for you if it’s that important to you.”

He would? Anakin looks up at him hopefully. That could work. It even makes sense, kind of, for Obi-Wan to let Anakin braid his hair. After all, Anakin’s going to be wearing Obi-Wan’s braid, even though he doesn’t love him yet.

Maybe the Jedi do things differently. Maybe the Jedi weave the braid, and the love comes later.

---

“I remember a young boy telling me my hair was ugly,” his master says consideringly, as he lets himself be pushed to the floor while Anakin clambers onto the bed behind him.

“You bring that up every time, Master,” he sighs as he strokes his hands through Obi-Wan’s admittedly beautiful mane of hair. It’s not as long as he’d like, not really, but it doesn at least go down to his shoulders. “I don’t know how many times you want me to apologize.”

“Oh, just once more,” his master smiles with his voice. Anakin will miss this. Anakin doesn’t know how he’ll live without it, without Obi-Wan’s quiet wit and wry humor, his willingness to indulge Anakin no, even if it’s been eight years of braid-practicing.

“Once more might be all we have time for, Master,” Anakin whispers. His fears are not the sort one can say loudly.

“Do not think like that,” Obi-Wan turns his head to the side just enough so that he can look up at Anakin. “It will be fine. I will be fine.” “You’d be better if I came with you!” Anakin argues loudly. “You know I’m old enough! It’s not fair!”

His voice cracks on the last word, making him wince as Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow.

“The Jedi Council and all Republic legal branches have spoken. We will not take children into a warzone--”

“Then don’t, but I’m almost eightee--”

“--And I agree with them.”

Anakin’s fingers slacken on the strands of hair, loosening the braid. “You do?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “You want to leave me here at the Temple while you go get yourself killed on some Mid-Rim planet?”

“I want you safe, Padawan,” Obi-Wan corrects, breaking away from him so that he may stand up and sit beside him on the bed. “A war is no place for Jedi, but while us knights have no choice but to fight, we would keep our younglings as far from it as possible--even those younglings who are only a few months shy of being eighteen.”

“You’re taking away my choice,” Anakin says quietly, anger abating enough that he has to struggle to hide the fear in his voice. He brings his knees up against his chest and curls tightly into himself. “What if you die and--and--” he breaks off and pulls useless at his Padawan braid.

He knows what it means now after eight years spent at the Jedi Temple. It’s supposed to denote the Padawan from the Master, and signify the respect an apprentice has for their teacher.

But he’s never been able to shake his original conclusion that it was a representation of love, though he’d never say that aloud.

But when he touches it, sees it in the mirror, he’s reminded only of the love he bears for his master. A guilty, shameful love that takes up too much of his mind and heart. He’d fallen in love with Obi-Wan somehow. Now when Anakin dreams of marriage beads, his fingers are invariably braiding them into coppery blond hair. Now when Anakin dreams of--well, other things, it’s always Obi-Wan’s body beneath his, over his, inside of his, around his--

And now the galaxy is at war, the Knights and Masters of the Jedi Temple called to defend the Republic, and Anakin is too young to follow his master.

“And what, dear one?” Obi-Wan asks gently, hand coming up to unclasp Anakin’s fingers from his braid. “If I die, you will let me go as any Jedi would. I will become one with the Force and you will continue forward.”

Anakin almost wants to shake his shoulders. Doesn’t his master know anything about Anakin at all? How could Obi-Wan say these things as if he believes them? If Obi-Wan were to die--if he were to die away from Anakin, without Anakin--if the unthinkable were to happen--Anakin doesn’t know what he’d do.

A part of himself would die as well, he knows that immediately. He’d cut Obi-Wan’s braid from his hair so that the man could be buried with it, and he’d never weave another.

“Have faith in me, Anakin,” Obi-Wan tells him softly, hand falling to rest on his shoulders. “I will come back. Or perhaps in a few months you will join me.” He sounds falsely enthusiastic, like he’d do anything to keep Anakin away from the war.

As if Anakin would let that happen as soon as he’s legally able to fight.

“Will you let me braid your hair?” he whispers, slowly sitting cross-legged.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan says immediately, sinking back to the floor.

“Will you keep them in this time? For as long as you can?” Anakin asks, shily, running his fingers through Obi-Wan’s hair slowly, savoring the softness of the strands.

“I will do my best,” his master promises him. “What will they mean?”

“Good fortune,” Anakin replies, seeing the braid come together in his mind’s eye. Yes, good fortune, a plea to the gods who see Obi-Wan in battle to look the other way. To take someone else instead. He gets to work, collecting a chunk of hair on the left side of Obi-Wan’s temple to braid back.

Nothing’s fixed. Nothing’s better. The person Anakin’s pretty sure is the love of his life will be sent out to fight tomorrow at dawn, and he might die never knowing how Anakin feels about him.

But it’s not like Anakin can tell him either, not when he’s seventeen. Not when he’s Obi-Wan’s Padawan.

He’s always planned to wait until after he’s been Knighted, after Obi-Wan has been given enough time to see Anakin as a man who has a choice whether or not to love him. And, yes, the Code forbids attachment and Jedi cannot marry, but it’s not like Anakin would ever be able to marry Obi-Wan legally even on Tatooine.

But he could give him the braids, if Obi-Wan wanted. That way, when they both died, in their sleep of natural causes, the Goddess Leia knows to keep their souls intertwined as she transports them to their afterlife.

Anakin’s fingers pause as he thinks of something that would make him feel better.

He bites his lip. His mother would disapprove. To give the braids to someone without their knowledge is heavily frowned upon.

Anakin winces, even as his hands change direction. These are extenuating circumstances. There’s a lot at stake here. Anakin can’t risk a life and an afterlife without his master. And he’s going to ask him eventually. Just not now. Just not yet.

The braids for good fortune form a crown over one’s head. The braids for marriage…

They start similarly enough at the temples, but connect to each other at the back of the head, where a third braid is begun. Then each braid is braided into each other. The left braid represents the braider. The right braid represents their beloved. The third braid that begins when the two meet represents the life that they will create together.

Anakin holds the three braids loosely in his hands, staring down at them in some sort of surreal shock. This is not the circumstances he has imagined doing this under, but he’s heartbroken. Not when it’s Obi-Wan who will be wearing his braids.

“Dear one?” Obi-Wan asks, breaking the heavy silence. “I do not mean to rush you, but my knees are starting to hurt.”

“You’re so old,” Anakin quips back, stroking a thumb over one of the braids, the right one--Obi-Wan’s.

“And you are so very young,” Obi-Wan retorts. “The two of us together is the equivalent of one good soldier.”

Anakin’s heart pauses for a second. “Would you want that?” he asks nonsensically.

“What?”

“If you could choose. If I were eighteen. Would you want to be…” Just as suddenly as he gained that sudden burst of confidence, he loses it. He sighs, mostly in disappointment at himself.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan prompts.

“You’d want me there with you if I weren’t too young, wouldn’t you, master?” Anakin finally says.

Obi-Wan hesitates, and Anakin’s chest feels tight. “I would want you safe, regardless of age, dear one,” he settles on saying.

Anakin’s fingers clench down on the almost complete marriage braids. “But if there were no war,” he forges ahead. “If the war never happened. You wouldn’t want to leave me behind. You’d want to stay together.”

Anakin can just imagine the furrowed eyebrows Obi-Wan must be sporting as he tries to figure out what Anakin wants from him.

“Just answer the question,” Anakin begs, tightening his hold on the braids to prevent Obi-Wan from turning around.

“You are my Padawan, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says slowly. “And someone who will one day be my partner, my friend. I would like...very much to be allowed to see you finish growing into the fine man you will be. The one that in many ways you already are.”

“And then?” Anakin asks doggedly. “When we’re both knights. And you’re assigned...a mission. And you get to choose your partner. And it’s me or. Or someone else. I don’t care. Who would you choose?”

“Well, I suppose it would depend on if this fabricated mission depends on stealth. Secrecy. The ability to tell a believable falsehoo--”

“I’m being serious,” Anakin insists, cutting his master off. He almost wants to drop the braids, let them fall apart. Clearly Obi-Wan doesn’t...perhaps won’t ever--

“It’d be you,” Obi-Wan murmurs very quietly, as if afraid to speak louder. “We are better together than we are separate.”

Anakin blinks and then smiles, only a little teary-eyed at his master’s confession. “Yes, Master,” he agrees, finally--finally--braiding the three braids together and tying them off neatly. He pictures the material of their souls responding the same way that Obi-Wan’s hair has. The thought makes him feel equal parts giddy and guilty.

“After all, someone needs to make sure you don’t crash every ship in the Jedi Temple,” Obi-Wan continues dryly.

“Yes, Master,” Anakin agrees again, running a hand lightly over his work.

He’ll tell him when he’s a Knight. Really.

#mmmmm i like to think obi-wans just like. at a spaceport or something wearing these braids when anakin's 19/20 #almost a knight #and someone from tatooine sees the braids and compliments him on how nice they look and how pretty #because being well cared for is also a signn of a good marriage #and obi-wan is like 'thank you my padawan did them #and the person is like 'padawan? i havent heard that word before. is it the word for husband in your language'#and obi-wan is just ext.crash #asks #my fics #obikin #(anakin is so mortified and obi-wan DEFINITELY chews him out but then he uh notices the next day that obi-wan...didn't take the braids out)#and then anakin is like ext.crash #prompt fill #braid au

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years

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Comte’s 4th Birthday Story Event: Before the Clock Strikes Midnight

REEEEEEEE Ik it was a long time ago but life has been a [redacted], so I figured better late than never HAHA

So without further ado, anybody who’s curious feel free to click for more--I’ll put it under a cut for spoilers as per usual~

So in this story it’s the usual, a few days before his birthday, and they’re discussing a bump in the road. Essentially, it appears a friend of Comte’s is going to be celebrating a wedding, and as such he’s going into the suburbs/affluent part of the region to be able to attend. It’s only a few hours away from the mansion, but he will be gone for a few days with the arrangements made for his stay.

While this wouldn’t typically be an issue, MC has some things to take care of and opts out of attending with him (preparing for his bday probably LMAO) and Comte is immediately big sad. My favorite dramatic fool is already pouting, though he fully accepts and respects her decision. Besides which, he fully intends to be back in time to celebrate his birthday as well. He notes that he’s always admired how driven and independent she is, and has no intention of getting in the way of that. He’s just going to miss her, is all.

He says as much, figuring there’s no point in hiding it: “I really wanted to bring you with me to attend…but I suppose it simply can’t be helped” … “That’s not it…I guess I’m just wondering if you’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss you while I’m away.”

And MC’s just like “Aw, it’s okay it’ll only be a few days.” While Comte’s response is a very mature, high-pitched whining sound at a frequency only King (Theo’s dog) and Theo himself can hear. When MC tries to reassure him once more, his Hamlet impression continues: “Even the prospect of a few days away from you feels unbearable.”

Naturally, as any man do that loves his wife, he draws her close and proceeds to bang the living daylights out of her. I would offer details, but I have no deets to give beyond: [Well MC, it appears I won’t be letting you get much sleep tonight.]

Brief intermission for the vague sounds of fangirl cardiac arrest.

The scene opens again to him doing his walk of shame (the slut) down the walkway and into the carriage that will take him to his friend’s house. His thoughts carry the regret of burdening her with his desire, though MC is pretty much on cloud nine and unable to stop thinking about the heady night they shared in a good way. Bruh and the sly look when he figures out why she looks like that--I’m boutta call the police, he is going to make women and men alike act up.

MC scrambles to cool his already returning desire by insisting he will be late if he indulges any further, and he laughs and agrees easily–albeit with the slightest hint of reluctance. My favorite part in this exchange is that he kisses her forehead, adding that it’s because she’s the most adorable person in the world to him (a moment of silence for our uwus).

Fast forward to Comte trying to get home after the festivities are over. Problem is, it’s been raining like a mOTHERBLEEPER, and as such carriages have no safe way to traverse the roads at the moment. He waited out the first day as patiently as possible, but after the second–and no sign of stopping–his Leeroy Jenkins instincts kick in. He notes to the coachman that he’s aware he’s asking a lot, but they fully intend to take the long way which invites the least risk–and the rain is ebbing, even if the progress is slow.

It’s interesting because there’s another echo of his main story in this moment. He essentially showcases a desperation to return before the day ends, though without context it’ll probably seem a little strange, so I’ll do my best to explain. Basically, in his main story, MC notes that she doesn’t really care how different they are. Different time, different species, different experiences, so on and so forth. She hammers home that what matters is that the present is something that they actively share. It’s theirs. And no amount of divisions he desperately tries to draw will change that fundamental reality.

And it’s a little moving to see how deeply he takes it to heart? I think it’s one of those wonderful phenomena, personally–the way a person can influence how you think and act with their sentiments. Sometimes someone says precisely what it is we need to hear, and it changes us–while it can be for the worse, it can also be for the better. He notes that he spent so many birthdays; among the people serving his house when he was little, raising hell with his friends in his younger days, so on and so forth. Not unlike Leonardo, he says that after so many “special” days the faces become a blur, the festivities lose their luster. It’s just another day, at this point.

Note, one interesting thing here that stands out to me is that I feel like this is a reflection of both of their larger struggles. Where Comte can’t stand the relentless flow of time rendering him the only constant (and something of a ghost, never fully present), Leonardo can’t bear birthdays because it means remembering people who still mean the world to him, but are long gone. People he can never see again, never laugh with again, never share his life with again. And I think that’s a very profound pain, an anguish that just keeps on settling its weight. (Oh, Sisyphus…)

Comte’s is similar, but different. He actively works to keep his distance-- unlike Leonardo, he approaches immortality in the pragmatic way. He knows getting close will hurt, so he opts out of that–keeps a step behind, an easy smile on his face. Betrays only fragments to anyone, always has his guard up. But the downside of being so guarded means you eventually feel hollowed out and alone; nobody truly knows or understands you. There is a distinct loneliness in that approach, where memories only become reminders of how nothing ever improves and how bereft you are of warmth.

Leonardo, at least, gets to have the joy of being known from time to time. But loss and estrangement from those people means double the pain in the long run, because he loved them fully. Comte chooses to live in the cold to protect himself, but ends up in a kind of catch-22; the cost of forgoing loss means a constant deadening of his own feelings. It means living in a kind of fog, where there is a distinct discomfort in the silent obscurity of your own heart.

There’s something I’ve come to believe in my short course of living, so I guess I still need time to determine how true it is. But…I feel like, when people live this way, where who they are is a lie or it’s at the very least carefully concealed, we in part start to become that lie. I think it’s fascinating because Comte seems to have so much personality to him. He’s dramatic, he’s thoughtful, he has a sense of mischief about him, he has strong ideals, and he has an even more ironclad moral grounding. And yet, when he talks about himself, he always uses descriptions that hinge on emptiness. Like he’s worth so little, worth nothing. And that’s what I mean–he’s been trying so hard to glide on the surface that he has come to believe he really is equivalent to something that ephemeral. Like there’s nothing more inside him, or if there is, that it will never be worthy of much. I think it really speaks to the ways behavior impacts the psyche, even though the opposite tends to be considered the only possible cause and effect relationship.

He’s so determined to live for and in the future while he’s in the present, that he forgets to enjoy himself and really live. And while that approach is certainly understandable, I do think he loses parts of himself along the way. Only to be rediscovered and placed back into his hands by MC: [Today–this moment–our now, I don’t want to miss it for anything.] And that's not even touching on how quick she is to make them a we; she's not letting him keep that distance. It’s not “you have the ability to share this day with me” it’s “we’re here and in this together.”

I feel like what I love about this is that it’s not only about how sweet he is on MC, but also about how much he’s truly living again for the first time. His defenses are slowly inching their way down, he’s letting himself hope and want things and look forward to things again. The thing about being a responsible person is that–while responsibility is all well and good–sometimes you become so mired in doing the right thing and planning the most optimal outcomes that you just aren’t thinking of yourself anymore. That is, if you ever were to begin with. He went from the careful cultivation of a life as an aristocrat, to a life that spoke of more freedom and fun beyond those iron wrought gates, before he returned to the structure of what he knew. Freedom speaks to him I’m sure–we all need it in some measure to survive. But I do think a good portion of that was unfulfilling for him after a point. It was only feeding the void that was beginning to form inside him. He was instinctively retreating into himself to avoid pain, and in doing that the only result was feeling like a coward and a fake. He wasn’t happy, he wasn’t able to be himself, and nothing was fulfilling–every single day just another forward march.

I think it comes as no surprise he took up Vlad’s initial invitation so willingly.

But then I digress, back to the story. There’s another timeskip and it finds him racing down the hall of the mansion. He’s hoping to make it in time but knows he’s racing against the clock, and fully expects MC to be asleep by this point in the night. Midway along his path he thinks he spots MC and falters in his step, blinking. He decides to hang back, watching the figure enter his room with a great deal of curiosity and resists every urge to burst in after her. He hears MC speak into his pillow, her voice muffled but clearly despondent: “I miss you, Comte. I hope you get back home soon…”

Comte pretty much dies right there. I literally have no better explanation for it. He freezes, his heart sputters and stops. He’s just completely taken aback.

And then, naturally, he goes about feral with desire as is his modus operandi: “Oho, I heard something incredibly cute just now. Were you also having a hard time spending so long apart?”

MC: “…!”

[Startled, she turns around and her eyes widen and widen.]

MC: “Comte, how...”

Comte: “Took a detour in areas with less rain.”

MC: “?? Wouldn’t that still be hard in weather like this?”

Comte: “I told the coachman I wanted to see you as soon as possible. Even if it was only for a second, I wanted to spend today with you…”

[Everything I was thinking while in the carriage spills out of me long before I can help it. I am reminded again of just how utterly irreplaceable an existence MC is in my life.]

Comte: “Even so, it seems interesting that I would find you in my bed”

MC: “...! A--Ah, I’m so sorry for entering without permission!”

[I quickly grab hold of her before she can scramble out of my bed, coaxing her to sink back into the sheets.]

In between a lot of intense making out and [redacted], the larger overtone is that her reciprocated ardor just destroys him inside:

MC: “It was...because I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about wanting to see you…”

Comte: “!”

[You know just how to drive me mad with desire.]

Comte: “I’m the same...the first thing I did was look for you. Even though it was only a few days, your voice, your body, everything...I missed you”

[Because today, our ‘now’--I never want to lose a single moment with you as long as you’re by my side...]

Comte: “I’m so happy to be able to be with you, right here and right now.”

It gets funny too because Comte is trying to take it slow, but when she tells him “Happy birthday” and goes on to say she was so glad to greet the day he was brought into the world by his side, he just loses all control LMFAO. It ends with them getting more heated and [redacted], to the point where he doesn’t even hear the clock strike midnight.

And if him being the cutest and sexiest romantic wasn’t obvious enough, he spends the next morning just sighing blissfully with her in his arms:

[The next morning, when I wake up, MC is still fast asleep. I mean, given she only fell asleep a few hours ago. I’m still reveling in the afterglow of a sweet night filled with her cries, the way she looked at me and held me. MC...]

[I relax to the sound of her breathing steady with sleep, stroking gently at her hair as I hug her from behind.]

Comte: “I’ve had countless birthdays. In an endless life, I was convinced it was just a day that would come and go every time.”

Comte: “It was only after meeting you that I could understand there was no such thing as an overlapping or identical moment. I don’t want to miss a single second by your side...that’s what I think now.”

[I admit the truth of my heart, brushing a kiss against her cheek. Over and over and over again, showering her in my affection--]

But dun dun dun!!! MC was awake the whole time, so when she fidgets a little at how ticklish his kisses are, he 👁

[Oh, I see. Well then, two can play at that game...]

Comte: “Your punishment is to stay in my arms just as we are...how’s that?”

He gets his mischievous (and hilarious) revenge for being revealed (HORNY TIME), though it’s so suffused with love it’s hard to call it revenge hahaha. She reminds him to go easy on her because they have his birthday party to attend later, and he agrees~

Honestly after such killer hurt/comfort spice fluff, I can only tremble at the thought of what his 5th year bday story will be

It’s either going to be Some Angst^TM or even more killer fluff, and either way that means my days are numbered

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp jpn spoilers #ikevamp leonardo #the way this man makes me have So Many Thoughts #every time i remember this story i just go dreamy-eyed #hes an absolute romantic and i die head empty only love comte #not incorrect quotes #rambles #fangdad propaganda #comte propaganda

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minor-solemnity · 3 years

Text

Curiosity pt. 5

(There’s smut btw)

In the dim light, he looks more sinister and more beautiful than you’ve ever seen him. A low-light creature designed to ensnare and tempt those who stray too far from the light. You can imagine what you look like to him, wide eyes, mouth slightly open, your entire body trembling with something that can’t accurately be described as fear or anger.

Another essay deadline means another exhausting weekend spent in the library whilst the rest of your friends spend their free time enjoying themselves. At least it's Charms this time around. You’re researching the methods behind apparation and floo powder as methods of instantaneous transportation and are quite enjoying the intellectual debate between Charms masters that seems to span decades when Stephanie throws her bag down on the table next to you. You glance up at her confused as to why she’s decided to join you when you catch the worried crease between her brows. “Everything alright?”

She sighs and shakes her head and glumly passes you a scroll of parchment. The letter is from Larkins. He says that she’s been playing too poorly and obviously isn’t cut out for the rigorous training and dedication it takes to compete for Hogwarts and for any Pro team in the future. He is, of course, completely wrong on all counts. “I need a reference from him if I have a chance of playing Pro. So… you know, everything is actually incredibly bad. My life is essentially over.” She slumps further down into her chair and stares listlessly at the stack of book you have on the table.

“Your life isn’t over.” You say sharply, ignoring the reproachful glare the librarian shoots your way. “Leave this with me. I’ll figure something out.” She looks very unconvinced. “Trust me, I’ll sort it.” You give her a reassuring smile and she leaves, still looking despondent but maybe also a little relieved. It’s hardly a secret that you can be ruthless when it comes to looking out for your friends.

Once you’re alone, you pull the quill out of your robes and place it on the desk in front of you, just watching it. You're still staring at it intently when you hear a soft laugh from just behind you and you jump in your seat, startled. Riddle laughs again and before you can stop him, he’s reaching over your shoulder and plucking the quill up delicately, twirling the quill elegantly between his fingers. You stare up at him, panic writ clear across your features and he raises an eyebrow before delicately returning the quill to the desk.

“I believe this conversation would be best suited somewhere a little more private, don’t you?” Without waiting for a response, he gracefully pushes back from the table, stretching out like an oversized purebred cat, and leads you by the shoulder to the restricted section. You wonder briefly how he can be so confident that he can just waltz into this area of the library, but you shake that thought out of your head quickly; Riddle probably charmed the librarian into giving him a pass and with it complete access to you away from prying eyes. Your stomach is in knots as you follow him into the deepest corners of the library, and you can’t tell if it’s because of worry or excitement at the thought of being alone with him. Merlin, you’re in trouble.

You watch for a moment and he seems to be trying to decide something, some internal conflict flickering across his face before his expression settles and he takes a deliberate step towards you. He presses you against one of the desks, his arms bracketing you so that you’re essentially trapped. In the dim light, he looks more sinister and more beautiful than you’ve ever seen him. A low-light creature designed to ensnare and tempt those who stray too far from the light. You can imagine what you look like to him, wide eyes, mouth slightly open, your entire body trembling with something that can’t accurately be described as fear or anger.

That slow satisfied smirk you’ve come to know far too well curls his upper lip as he watches you, dark eyes glittering in the candlelight. Slowly, his eyes never leaving yours, he moves a hand and gently presses his palm to the curve of your waist. You don’t - can’t - move. Your breath feels as though it’s caught in your chest, as though breathing too harshly will shatter whatever is happening into pieces. He trails his hand up the side of your shirt, tugs your robes off your shoulders, and presses closer still so that you’re half sitting on the desk behind you, half leaning on him for balance. You can feel the warmth of his body underneath his shirt as you spread your palms across his body for support. He feels sturdy, tense, as though this is as disorientating for him as it is for you.

He’s watching you and that glint of curiosity that you’d first noticed at dinner and then again outside Larkins office is back. He looks at you as though you are the single most interesting thing he’s encountered and that makes you brave. Slowly, you reach up and curl your fingers around his neck and he breathes in sharply. You’re not sure who breaks first, who makes the first move but suddenly his grip on your waist tightens and your hands are tugging at his hair, pulling him down, closer and then his lips are brushing yours. He kisses you like he’s trying to figure you out like you’re a puzzle designed specifically for him to solve and who knows? Maybe you are.

All you can really be certain of is that it feels good. It feels so unbelievably good. Your touches becomes frantic and he pushes you back further onto the desk, one hand curving around your throat adding pressure - not enough to hurt, but enough to make you dizzy with want and need and so much more. His other hand moves to your thigh, leaving trails of goosebumps as he skims higher and higher until his fingers brush against the laced edge of your underwear and you let out a shuddering gasp of want. He smirks against your jaw and bites a bruising kiss just below your ear. “Tell me what you’re hiding,” He whispers soft and dangerous and you’re too caught up in the sensation of his fingers rubbing circles over the damp cloth of your underwear that you don’t think before nodding.

Just as suddenly as he started, he pulls back and you keen at the distance between the two of you. He hums quietly and you’re dimly aware of the fact that his pale skin is flushed and his eyes are bright with desire and something else that you can’t quite decipher. Before you can pull him back to you, he drops to his knees and your eyes widen when you realise exactly what is about to happen. “Tell me what you’re hiding,” He coaxes as he tugs your underwear down your legs and drops them unceremoniously on the floor. He hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and flattens his hand against the meat of your thigh, pinning you in place.

Your entire body feels as though it’s on fire and you stare down at him with wild eyes as his gaze flickers briefly to you before he turns his attention to the task at hand. He barely touches you is the thing. Presses teasing kissing against the hollows of your hips, tongues delicately at your folds, but he doesn’t… There’s not… It’s not enough and every time you move to try and push closer or grind against his mouth to get some kind of friction, he grips your thighs and hips in a warning. You realise with a mixture of annoyance and grim admiration that he isn’t going to do more than tease unless you start talking.

And you do. You gasp and shudder and bite your lips to stop yourself from moaning and you talk. You tell him about Larkins’s underground betting ring over matches, the bribes and promises he’s been making to ensure that certain players will get a place on a Pro team, about the way he’s been tampering with brooms to give unfair advantages to certain teams. All the while, Tom rewards you with his tongue, exploring, curling, lapping, slow and sensuous one moment then fast and hot and so fucking filthy the next. As with most things, he’s frustratingly talented.

You’re telling him about Larkins’ family - four children, a wife who refuses to work - you hold his entire family’s future in the palm of your hand when you feel your orgasm build with startling speed, it starts in the arches of your soles and spreads upwards until your thighs are shaking and your head is thrown back in a silent, ragged scream of pleasure. You’re still gasping for air, twitching through the aftershocks of your orgasm when he pulls away, and he stares up at you - his mouth wet and red and - with curiosity and something that you’re not stupid enough to think is wonder glittering in his dark eyes.

Tom climbs to his feet and you make a move to return the favour but he brushes your hands away. “Later.” The next time he touches you it’s shockingly gentle. He smoothes back your sweat-slick hair and runs his thumb over your cheekbone. “You could ruin his life,” He murmurs, “His family’s lives.” Tom doesn’t sound disgusted as you might expect. He sounds reverent.

“For Stephanie.”

Something flashes across his expression and he shakes his head, “No. Don’t lie to me. Don’t pretend that this is just for her anymore. Don’t pretend that you’re not doing this just because you can.” You open your mouth to protest and have have to shut it when you realise that he’s not wrong. You do enjoy the sense of control you have over Larkins’ future. And Tom knows it too. He leaves you to sort yourself out, which is an odd display of modesty for someone who had five minutes ago brought to one of the most powerful orgasms of your life with his tongue.

When you finally exit the restricted section, Tom is sitting at your abandoned desk. There is a thick folder in front of him. He looks completed collected, every bit the perfect student and prefect he makes himself out to be and the smirk he shoots you makes your stomach drop. “I think I remember saying that by the end of this, you’d want to tell me what you’ve been hiding. I must say when I first realised you were up to something I hadn’t imagined find out what would be half as entertaining.” Anger and shame sweep over you, leaving you feeling cold and dirty. You can’t stand to look at him. Can’t stand to see his features twisted into that awful smirk. It’s been a game to him. Everything he’s done has been calculated. The ends justifying the means. You feel bile rise up your throat and you scowl as you rush past him, desperate to be as far away from him as possible.

It’s only when you’re in the safety of your dormitory that you realise you’ve left the folder on the desk.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

#tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle x oc #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle x you #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle fanfic #tom riddle imagines #tom riddle imagine #minific #tom riddle fic

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mochegato · 3 years

Text

Hope on Board

Chapter 22 – With Friends Like These...

Chapter 1 Chapter 21

Sweat was rolling off of her body. Her breath was coming in short, irregular pants, only broken up occasionally by mournful whimpers. She gripped and released the sheets repeatedly as she turned over and over in bed. Her movements quickly escalated to thrashing as her whimpers became cries that were still quiet enough not to alert Dick as he worked in the living room. He was completely engrossed in cross comparing a few reports he and the other Titans had turned in, until a cup fell off of the dresser across the room from Marinette.

“Mari! Marinette! Wake up! Marinette, you need to wake up.” Dick shook her gently trying to wake her without causing any more distress than she was under already. His face was marked with deep lines from his concerned frown as he tried to wake her. She’d been having nightmares on and off for a while, but this looked like the worst one yet.

Marinette’s eyes snapped open and she shot up, gasping for breath. She whipped her head around taking in her surroundings, trying to get her bearings after her sudden reality shift. Her eyes finally focused back on her environment as she made eye contact with Dick. “Marinette, are you…”

Before he could finish his question, she had launched herself into his arms, hugging him much tighter than he had thought she was capable of. “Dick! Oh my God Dick. You’re here,” she sobbed into his chest. “You’re here. You’re safe.” Her grip got impossibly tighter around him as she sobbed harder.

Dick let her squeeze him, refusing to complain as she squeezed his injured rib, likely further bruising it. He hugged her back, rocking slightly as he ran his hands over her hair. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m here. We’re okay,” he repeated over and over again in a soothing voice. After a few minutes he tried to pull away slightly to wipe her tears, but she was still too tightly buried in his chest for him to see her face, so he kept repeating the comforting mantra hoping it would help.

This was definitely the worst one he had seen her have. Her whole body was shaking and she was still crying fifteen minutes later. She had mentioned having nightmares before, especially during the Hawkmoth reign, and he prayed it was nothing like this. It was heartbreaking to watch her like this, especially knowing there wasn’t anything he could do to help her or fix it. He just had to sit there and watch her break down.

After a while, Marinette’s tears finally started to slow and her breath started evening out again. Her body had stopped shaking, but Dick wasn’t sure if that was because she had worn herself out or if she was calming down, or both. When he was confident she was calmer, he leaned back slightly to look at her face. Her eyes were still closed, but at least the tears had stopped. “Hey,” he started, gently wiping away the tear tracks and brushing her bangs out of her face, “you okay?”

Marinette pressed her lips together and nodded timidly, still not opening her eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, trying not to disrupt her delicate calm.

Marinette took a deep breath and slowly let it out as she finally opened her eyes. Dick gasped at the forlorn look in her eyes. “Hey, hey. It was just a nightmare.” He pulled her back in for another hug. “It wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare.” He kissed the crown of her head then her forehead then her temple. “It wasn’t real.”

Marinette opened her mouth and immediately closed it, blinking back tears. She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head on his chest, taking a few deep breaths. She pulled away when her heartrate slowed again and looked back up at him. As he watched, her face slowly morphed to appear more hopeless. Her forehead had just a shadow of lines and her lips ticked down slightly. Her gaze shifted to over his shoulder as if looking to the distance for inspiration or permission.

Suddenly, she took a deep breath and gave a shadow of a nod, returning her attention to Dick. “It was…” she looked down and her brow furrowed further. “I…” she tried again. She took a deep breath and looked off to the side. Dick watched her patiently, letting her prepare herself and find the words she needed in her own time. While she figured out what she wanted to say he rubbed gentle circles against her back.

“It was kind of real. It was… Some akumas were worse than others,” she started slowly. Dick nodded in understanding. It was a memory. Past fights that went bad or where someone just barely survived, one inch to the left or the right, one moment slower or faster would have resulted in their death, were always the worst nightmares for him. All the what ifs, but with the added force of being rooted in reality.

“There was one… You can never tell Adrien!” she suddenly looked desperate. “He doesn’t know about this one. You can never tell him. Promise,” she demanded pulling on his shirt in desperation. Dick gave her a confused look but nodded. There were akumas that she lived through that Adrien didn’t and weren’t on the record for him to discover?

Assured of his silence, Marinette continued. “There was one that… One of the miraculous can time travel. Her entire reason for existing is to keep the miraculous from destroying the timeline, from destroying the world too badly. I mean, bad things can and do happen, that’s fine… I mean, not fine, but… you know. That doesn’t trip her sensors. But apocalyptic events… those activate her.”

Dick started to open his mouth to ask questions, but immediately shut it. She needed to talk at her own pace and he needed to give her that opportunity no matter how apprehensive he was. ‘Apocalyptic’ sounded significantly worse than he was anticipating. “So one day, she came to take me to the future.” She looked out the window for a few seconds. “Did you know miraculous wielders could get akumatized when they were transformed?” she gave a mirthless chuckle. “Because they can. They’re still human. They still have emotions. And A… And Chat had a lot. I don’t know exactly what happened but… everything was gone. There was nothing. There were no people, there were no animals, not even sea animals. Nothing but water and a destroyed moon… and Chat. All alone and white. Chat Blanc,” she whispered in a despondent voice.

“But, why you? Why would the miraculous person get you?” Dick asked softly, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. Marinette wasn’t a hero. She shouldn’t have been involved in any of that. She shouldn’t have had to see that, to experience it. She was a civilian! She should have been put in a situation that would cause her nightmares years later.

“She needed the people Chat loved the most and loved him the most. She needed Ladybug and me.” Marinette shrugged. “She needed us to get through to him. Hawkmoth no longer controlled him, because he had died along with everyone else… including me… but, the way Hawkmoth created akumas, they mess with the victim’s head, even without his control. They can no longer think straight. They can’t reason. They don’t remember…” her eyes got distant again. “He tried to kill me. He almost did. A few times. I… He… I trusted him more than anyone else in my life at that time.”

Dick pulled her into another hug. That he understood. Someone you loved and trusted being under mind control and trying to hurt you? Yeah, he’d lived through that too. The memory never really leaves you. The knowledge that they could do that never goes away, not fully. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair.

“That was the dream. I was back there, surrounded by nothing but water… water and him… but this time it wasn’t me he wanted to kill, it was you. And I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t reach him in time to save him this time. I couldn’t save you. I had to watch you…” she started crying again. She buried her head in his chest again as she sobbed.

Not for the first time Dick wished he had been there when they took down Gabriel Agreste, or that he tried to escape and the Titans got to be the ones to capture him. The damage he had done to Marinette, the pain and suffering he had caused her was immeasurable, but Dick would gladly take the opportunity to pay it back.

After she had cried herself out and had calmed down, she pulled away and looked at the time. “Oh, we’re going to be late.”

Dick shook his head, his brow furrowed. “You’re kidding. We don’t have to go, Marinette. We can just do this another night. That nightmare took a lot out of you.”

“No,” she exclaimed loudly. “I haven’t met all your friends yet. I really want to meet them and they’re never in town. I want to go.”

“My friends are planning on being in town for a little while. We’ll have other opportunities,” he assured her.

She gave him a determined look. “I don’t want to let the fear control my life. And with the fashion show coming up, I probably won’t have a lot of time. Let me just take a shower and I’ll get ready. I really want to go.”

Dick let out a resigned sigh. “Do you want to take a bath instead? We can be late, they’ll understand, and the bath might help you relax. Maybe I can even join you.”

Marinette gave him a small giggle. “I don’t think there’s enough room for me and anyone else in the bath or shower. I’m massive.” She looked up at him with an appreciative smile. “But thank you.”

“You’re not massive. You’re tiny considering you’re three people in one,” Dick smirked at her. Marinette groaned and pushed him away as she tried to get up before deflating and asking him to help her get up off the bed. “How about instead… can we lay down together for a few minutes?” he asked slowly. “I know you don’t want to be late, but I’d really like a few minutes to just lay down with you.” Marinette gave him an understanding smile and nodded, positioning herself to lay in Dick’s arms, her head resting on his shoulder and his arms wrapped protectively around her.

<><><><><>

Dick was infinitely grateful to the other Titans for being willing to move their base of operations to Gotham while they tracked down the final bits of information they needed to end the Court’s plan and to Bruce for providing the series of flats for the five of them to stay indefinitely. On the bright side, that meant his friends finally got to meet Marinette, which Donna and Lilith had been asking about since he first mentioned her, and Marinette got to meet them, which he knew she’d been craving just as long.

The downside was this was where they did all their planning. This was essentially their base of operations and they were letting her in when she didn’t know about their alter egos and were under strict instructions from Dick not to tell her. Not unexpectedly, that resulted in a bit of tension in his friends. Lilith was absolutely brilliant at covering it up, but Wally, Garth, and Roy were tenser than guitar strings. Dick had to send more than one glare to Wally to get him to stop tapping his feet or fingers at superhuman speeds and at Roy and Garth to get them to stop unintentionally glaring.

“Marinette!” Lilith welcomed her as soon as the door opened. “It is so nice to meet you! Dick talks about you all the time. I’m so glad we were finally able to find time to visit. How are you feeling?” She ushered her into the room with an excited smile and an arm around her shoulders.

“You must be Lilith,” Marinette smiled at her. “Dick talks about you guys all the time, too. It is really nice to meet you.”

Wally and Garth stood up to welcome her while Roy watched her from his seat. “Yep, that’s me. That,” she pointed to the redhead standing up, “is Wally. That,” she pointed to the man next to him with black hair, “is Garth. And the lazy brute sitting down is Roy.”

“Where’s Donna?” Dick asked popping a chip in his mouth and making his way to Marinette’s side.

“She wanted to finish up a few things,” Garth answered in a voice that Marinette was positive was intended to mean something to the rest of the people there.

Marinette coughed suddenly when she heard Plagg making noises in her purse. She dropped her arms suddenly, “accidentally” hitting her purse with a sharp impact. She looked back to the group with an overly wide smile. “So, Dick didn’t tell me what brought you guys to town,” she prompted.

The group looked back and forth between each other a few times before trying to subtly look at Dick for an answer. Marinette fought to keep the smile on her face and keep from laughing at the awkwardness. There was something going on that they didn’t want her to know about. That wasn’t so bad, her friends would do the same, they would just be better at covering it up, they had been better at covering it up in front of Dick. But Dick’s friends were bad at it and they knew they were bad at it so it was creating a tense atmosphere, making everything worse. She didn’t know what they were keeping secret, but she really, really hoped it wasn’t anything important because none of these people would be good spies.

Dick gave her a wide smile. “They said it was a break from school so they’re taking their break here instead of Cancun.”

Marinette was greatly tempted to ask them about what school they went to and what they studied, just to see how they would react. Plagg hadn’t gotten too much amusement lately and she was sure he would appreciate it, but she held back. These were Dick’s friends and they, and he, were allowed to have secrets. She also didn’t want to start off their friendship by being mean just to amuse herself. So instead she plastered on a smile and offered, “That’s so nice, giving up the beach to come to Gotham. It’s almost never sunny here.”

Roy’s eyes narrowed at her as if calculating something, but Lilith waved her off. “Oh, we can go to the beach anytime, but we were dying to meet you.”

Talk seemed to come easier after that, though the underlying sense of tension never seemed to go away. The more she tried to ignore the awkwardness and move past it, the more Roy seemed to glower as though not appreciating the dishonesty of it. The rest of the group were more than willing to pretend and move forward until it wasn’t so awkward anymore and it seemed like it worked for Lilith and Wally, who were now enthusiastically conversing with Marinette about gaming and fashion and pastries, Marinette had promised to bake a few different treats for him to try.

“Dick! I have something!” A black haired woman burst into the room. She glanced over and noticed Marinette as she rushed in. Her expression immediately morphed into a strained smile. “You must be Marinette! It’s so nice to meet you. Dick has said so many sweet, lovesick things about you. I’m so sorry I’m late. I was working on… something.” She gave Dick a significant look and an excited smile. “I’m so sorry to hit and run, but can I borrow your boyfriend for just a few minutes just over here?”

That wasn’t at all suspicious. Seriously, at this point, she was beginning to suspect a cult going on. Marinette gave her a smile. “Not at all. I’ve been dying to take a look at the view from up here anyway.” She motioned toward the balcony and the view beyond it, which was a fairly good view of Gotham’s lights from the top floor of the centrally located apartment building.

“Okay. I won’t be long,” Dick assured her as he helped her get up with a kiss to the temple. He pulled Roy aside to whisper in his ear. He was trying to convince him of something based on Dick’s severe gestures.

Marinette smiled at him and moved out to the balcony. She took a deep breath of the not quite crisp air, but certainly clearer than the air in that room. She just needed a few seconds to recollect herself before she went back into the room. She could do this. These were Dick’s friends. They mattered to him so she needed to make more of an effort. They mattered to him so therefore they mattered to her as well. She would just focus on Lilith and Wally and hopefully the others would eventually warm up to her as well, although she got the impression Garth always acted like that.

“Beautiful from up here, isn’t it?” Roy asked as he joined her on the balcony. He closed the door behind him before turning back to look at the city. “It almost looks peaceful, but then again beautiful things can be deceptive.”

Marinette blinked at him a few times trying to figure out the meaning behind his words. Did he mean Dick was being deceptive? Was it a general comment on beautiful people? Did he go through a breakup recently? Oh, her line was deceptively beautiful. Had he seen pictures of it? Marinette shook her head and turned back to the night scene. She wasn’t going to figure it out without talking more. “It is. I guess I’ve been lucky. The city has been pretty peaceful for me so far. In fact, I’ve had an amazing time here, but I’m pretty sure that has more to do with Dick than the city.”

Roy leaned against the balcony railing and looked over to her with a seductive smile. “It probably has more to do with the fact that you’re gorgeous.”

Marinette froze. What? Was he… She immediately shook her head. No, he was trying to be nice. She looked like a beached whale and he was trying to make her feel better about herself, just in the most incredibly awkward way possible. It was just her hormones and stress and the effects of the tension from the meeting making her see things that aren’t there. He was like Kim, good heart but dumb and didn’t understand socially acceptable boundaries. “Thank you,” she smiled kindly at him. Kim was able to communicate better when he was calmer, so if she could get Roy to relax, they could have a more casual, less awkward conversation. “You are too.”

Roy chuckled deeply. “Thank you. You know, I was with him the first night he met you. I think Dick got lucky he found you first. I wish I would have gotten to you before him.”

Marinette froze again. Well, she didn’t imagine that. Bastard was hitting on his friend’s pregnant girlfriend. “Um…” What the fuck did she say to that?

Roy misinterpreted her silence and moved closer to her so he was within arm’s length of her. “I don’t know if Dick told you, but I’m actually a lot richer than he is. I could keep you in a lot more comfort, if you were interested.”

Marinette continued to stare at him dumbfounded. He reached up to touch her cheek, finally sparking movement in Marinette. Her eyes narrowed and she slapped Roy as hard as she could. Hard enough to leave a dark red mark on his cheek in a very clear shape of a handprint. “What is wrong with you? Even if I didn’t love Dick, I wouldn’t go for someone like you, you disgusting, wretched excuse for a human being.”

She stormed back into the room and looked around for Dick. He and Donna were no longer in the corner they had been in. In fact, she didn’t see them anywhere in the room. “Hey Lilith?”

Lilith looked up from the laptop she, Wally, and Garth were looking at, only now noticing she was back in the room. “Hey, done with the view? I don’t blame you. It gets kind of boring after a bit.”

Marinette gave her a strained smile. “Yeah… do you know where Dick is?”

Lilith paled slightly, her eyes flicked over to the boys. “Um… I think he and Donna went to her apartment to go over… that thing.” Marinette took a deep breath. And he left. He left her there. “Hey, are you okay?” Lilith asked, concern lacing her voice. She moved over to Marinette to get a closer look at her.

“Yeah, yeah, fine. Um. I’ll text him. I had something come up and I need to leave. It was really nice meeting you guys though. Have a great night. I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” She rushed out of the room before anybody could ask any questions. As soon as the door closed behind her, she ran to the elevator. Her breath was ragged and tears were streaming down her cheeks. What the hell just happened? What the hell was all that? And then Dick was just gone. Did Dick know how terrible his friend was?

She stumbled out of the elevator and left the complex in a daze. She needed to go home. She needed to lay down. She needed to think and she needed to lay her head on Dick’s chest. She was a few blocks away before she remembered to text him. She sent a quick text to him saying she suddenly felt lightheaded and was grabbing a taxi to head home. She got a text back almost immediately asking if she was sure she was okay. She smiled at her phone and shot back a text confirming she really was fine.

Before she could put her phone back in her purse it dinged again with a message from Dick. He said he was going to stay with his friends and might be there all night. Marinette stared at her phone. He wasn’t coming home tonight. He was going to stay with them. She wasn’t going to be able to comfort herself with his heartbeat. She was going to have to deal with it on her own. She could go to Adrien, but she didn’t want Adrien getting even angrier at Dick and she couldn’t go to Dick’s brothers when she was having problems with Dick.

She started gasping for breath again. Luckily or unluckily, depending on how you saw it, there weren’t many people on the street so there wasn’t anyone to judge her breakdown. Dick was staying with those horrible people. He had talked with Roy before he came out to hit on Marinette. Was it a test? Was Dick testing her? Did he really not trust her after all this time? She gripped her head. There was too much. It was too much coming at her all at the same time.

She startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She lunged to punch the person’s exposed side and swept her leg under him to knock him down so she could run away… well waddle away. She couldn’t really run right now. “Fuck Pi… lady. I was just checking on you.”

Marinette paused just long enough to look back at who she knocked down, which she knew was stupid. This was Gotham. Any weakness like she was showing got punished severely. Once she finally registered the red mask and who she had knocked down, she took a deep breath and walked back to him. “Sorry. You caught me off guard and I just reacted.”

“Don’t apologize. Those were really good moves, especially considering how much of you is baby right now,” Red Hood motioned to her stomach. “I shouldn’t have snuck up on you. I just wanted to check on you. You look like you were a bit distressed. You okay?”

Marinette let out a sharp laugh. “Yeah awesome. My boyfriend’s friend just hit on me, suggested that the only thing I would be interested in is money so I should leave my boyfriend for him. And when I got back to the party, my boyfriend was gone and he’s apparently going to stay with that asshole all night. I’m awesome. Everything is awesome. Life is just awesome.”

“Yeah… that’s a few too many awesomes to be real and way too many awesomes for that fucked up situation. Want me to go kick someone’s ass? Maybe your boyfriend?” He offered.

The voice modulator prevented her from being able to pick up on how serious he was in his offer, but with Red Hood’s reputation for violence, she didn’t want to take the chance. “No! He doesn’t know. I wanted to tell him in person.” She chewed her lower lip. Her mind finished the sentence with ‘or maybe he knew,’ but she wasn’t going to unload all that on this poor vigilante who was just trying to help.

“Okay, how about I get you home instead then? How would you feel about riding in the Batmobile?” he offered with a quirk to his head.

“I would love it, but I don’t think I’ll fit right now. Hit me up after the babies are born,” she gave him a wry smile. “Maybe my boyfriend and I can both do it.”

“Fuck him. He left you, this is his punishment.”

“He didn’t leave me,” Marinette objected.

“Right,” he answered, seemingly unconvinced. “I’ll have Oracle call a reliable cab then and wait until you get in.” He touched his ear as he said it, giving Marinette the impression that it was already done.

“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure you have more important things to do. More important people to help.”

“I have nothing more important than this,” he assured her. “I’m done for the day anyway. I just have an archer to pummel and a sister-in-law to check on.”

“You have a sister-in-law? Actually don’t answer that. Secret identities and all,” she waved him off suddenly. “Thank you for this.”

He shrugged. “It’s my job.”

“You’re really good at it,” she smiled at him. He was stopping for no reason, calming down a hysterical, crying, pregnant mess when there was no reason for him to. It showed a big heart.

Red Hood faced her silently for a few seconds. She felt like he might be staring at her but it was hard to tell under the mask. She started to think she said something wrong when he finally spoke up again. “I… not a lot of people say that to me and it means a lot coming from you. Thank you.” He gave her a hug only pulling away when her cab pulled up.

Chapter 23

Note: pregnancy nightmares can be a bitch even when there isn’t something to give you nightmares, hormones and pregnancy brain will create one. And if you were already prone to anxiety (Marinette) you’re screwed.

Also, to explain Roy, he noticed that Marinette was acting extremely fake, because you know, everyone there was and she was trying to pretend like she didn’t notice. Having seen LOTS of people coming onto Oliver and Bruce in the past for their wealth, he was suspicious and testing Marinette. Being the brilliant dumbass he is, he put two and two together and got 7.

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123 @lady-bee-fechin @thewitchwhowaited @redscarlet95

#maribat #Dickinette February #dickinette #platonic jasonette #platonic adrienette #Hope on Board #Knocked Up AU #prompt - spy

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foulserpent · 3 years

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ok heres my #thots on evangelion 1+3

yeah honestly i really liked it. idk how much it holds up in of itself, but as something that was really meaningful to me (when i was 15, the age of the main characters lol) the ending was honestly pretty satisfying and not what id expect

like i did choose to learn the spoilers when it first came out, but it still managed to surprise me. like it was ultimately very positive and it was very concretely about healing and ended much more optimistically than you would ever expect (literally like everythings 'fixed')

but also so much is introduced or confirmed without giving explanation. like they just introduce concepts rapidfire via dialogue and youre supposed to just be like yeah ok. yeah ok "anti universe" whatever. youre really just along for the ride.

i really wish rebuild did a better job at characterizing asuka, bc like watching it in context of the original helped but if you had only seen the rebuilds she would be very shallow. and they kinda tried to squeeze in some last minute characterization but it didnt do Much.... i wish there had been more from her in the prior movies but as it stands its alright. absolutely bizarre choice to have her be from a series of clones similar to rei, and they implied that she at least Thinks shinji is the same? idk i prefer her being a normal human but it is what it is. her having an angel sealed in her eye was awesome.

rei's arc is really kinda just aborted and idk if its in a good way or not. id have to think about it. definitely not as climactic as EOE. the original rei makes a couple of brief reappearances but they dont mean a Ton

gendo's stuff was really interesting bc. i learned the spoilers back in march and was expecting it to be a little more manpain-ish, and it KINDA was but in a large part it was shinji coming to an understanding of his parent's baggage which is something im too familiar with lol. their whole fight was such a good sequence also i LOVED how it shifted thru memories and scenery.

i think my biggest complaint is that shinji's healing process is maybe too abrupt from the 'despondent sitting in one place for weeks' thing at the beginning to 'creating a new better world' at the end. but i like the outline of it all. i really like that him and asuka acknowledge their crushes on each other as children but not anymore

kaworu is fucking weird bc they confirm the timeloop thing and give just the TINIEST insight into his own psyche (that he was looking for his own happiness and using shinji as a proxy, not in a malicious way but in a very genuine and desperate way), but still not that much. like, i want to kno what the fuck is going on with him. hes definitely equally fucked up to the other kids. also what was the deal between him and kaji.

i wish they didnt imply that shinji was 'with' mari. like i actually do really like that hes not 'with' the 3 love interests of the original but id prefer the conclusion to not directly involve a romantic relationship with anyone bc thats not whats really important... but mari is kind of like, the external source with no baggage, so at the very least she represents a future i guess. also dont quote me on this but i remember reading in a couple places that she might be referential to anno's wife so it might be personal on the director's part (especially since the closing shot was his hometown)

also theres SO many more questions than answers like they CONFIRM mari was fuyutsuki's colleague somehow and CONFIRM kaworu timeloop and etc but dont really explain anything. which is alright honestly but very frustrating

and i can tell ive gotten older bc what moved me most was misato's reconciling with shinji as a weird kinda surrogate familial-ish figure..got choked up when they hugged.

all in all i think ill always like end of evangelion best but this is honestly a very good way to end it all things considered. theres so many good concepts there and it reflects a transition in the outlook of the series and the director, and it was kinda moving considering i was so invested in the series when i was 15 and its come to a close now. i guess i might have preferred an ending more optimistic than EoE but less idealistic than this (like the world itself being de-coreified but shinji still returning to the village and their community facing an uncertain but optimistic future). but still. enjoyed it.

#spoilers etc #oh also the music wasnt as good as some of the others i think. tho i did like some of it #ill have to go thru the soundtrack later

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hauntedbythefanficsofmypast · 4 years

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Magic Marinette

Marinette is Zatanna's older cousin and can practice magic herself. Her magic is different however. For most low level spells she simply has to think of what the spell is intended for. For a harder spell she needs to chant much like Zatanna.

Marinette practices at home with her Uncle Zatara occasionally visiting with Zatanna. Magic comes naturally to Marinette, she likes to claim that it just flows in and out of her.

Marinette is 13 (Zatanna is only 6) when she becomes Ladybug, her magic and Tikki's combining flawlessly. The two are a magical power house, so much so that Marinette has to lock her aura down so that she'll only appear as a low level mage. Zatara is proud of his niece for becoming a hero, although he isn't exactly pleased, he knows better than to mess with the Kwami.

He is there for her every step of the way only a call away. When Marinette's friends turn against her and she ends up with only four left he and Zatanna are there to comfort her. When her parents start feeding into the lies he is incredibly angry. Especially when he sees the broken look on his beloved nieces face. Zatara is quick to suggest he take complete custody over Marinette, her parents agree and sign away their rights.

Zatara helps Marinette pack her things and moves her into an apartment in Paris. Until Marinette is 18 he'll be spending the majority of his time in Paris with her. Zatanna grows up beside Marinette looking up to her as a big sister. Marinette lives up to that roll always spoiling Zatanna.

When Marinette becomes Guardian Zatara helps her navigate how to deal with her new responsibilities. A few weeks later when she shows up hand in hand with a blonde boy, he recognizes him immediately. After a quick shovel talk Adrien is practically adopted into the family. His and Marinette's relationship blossomed beautifully.

Zatara has Marinette transferred out of her current class and Adrien follows her. The two are barely separate from each other, but when they are their former classmates take advantage of it. Marinette is constantly watching her back when she is alone. Especially when Bustier's class fails to make all their fundraising goals, Marinette can feel them glaring at her.

The class takes turns finding ways to bully Marinette. Alya posts embarrassing pictures of her, Rose tells everyone stories of her trying to get Adrien's attention calling her terrible names. Alix and Nathaniel kick her out of the Art Club. Kim and Alix push her around in the halls and so on. With Lila acting as the innocent bystander.

The class becomes more and more toxic towards themselves and others. This results in the entire school avoiding them, they however blame Marinette for everything. Even though she hasn't thought of them except for when they're bullying her.

Marinette is pissed when Bunnyx comes back from the future and takes the Bunny Miraculous from her. She immediately gives it to her younger self. Now Ladybug and Chat Noir have to work around an untrained liability.

When Marinette is 18 Zatanna is 11.

During their final year Adrien proposes to Marinette after asking Zatara's permission. Marinette agrees to marry him amd the wedding is set for the summer after they graduate.

The wedding never comes. After they graduate they face off with Hawkmoth and Mayura in one final battle. They had defeated Mayura and Chat was about to take Hawkmoth's Miraculous when Bunnyx showed up. She uses Burrow and endes up knocking Chat into an unknown part of time. Everything is silent as Ladybug stares at the space her partner had been in waiting for him to show up. When no one arrives a heartbreaking scream tears through her. All of Paris watches their last hero break down crying, with a burst of rage she defeats Hawkmoth unmasking him. Then charges Bunnyx using her magic to take her down.

Kcol reh ni ecalp htiw ton a elgnis hctiwt!!

Lock her in place with not a single twitch!!

Bunnyx is frozen as Ladybug rips her Miraculous away de-transforming her. She glares at her through her tears, before telling her that she was never meant to be a hero.

Ladybug then leaves with all the Miraculous except for Plagg.

Marinette de-transforms in her room, tears falling as she stares despondently at the ground. Before she utters a simple incantation releasing Alix from where she was frozen.

Cogam sesaeler eht eno I evah dnuob.

Magic releases the one I have bound.

Marinette remains there only moving when Zatanna comes in and sits on her lap. Marinette sniffles hugging her tightly, crying while Zatanna comforts her, crying softly as well.

The next day they are visited by an elderly old man with a kind smile. He introduces himself as Alfred Pennyworth. A mischievous smile crosses his face as he makes eye contact with Marinette.

Alfred-I didn't always go by that though. The love of my life used to call me kitty.

Marinette-Adrien?

Alfred simply smiled sadly nodding before telling her that she cannot go get him.

Alfred- I was sent back so long ago. When you never came I began to make a life for myself. I joined MI-16 and was adopted into a family. Became a butler and was loyal to the Wayne family. I had a son in all but blood, his name is Bruce. It's funny Bugaboo, he has the same black hair and blue eyes as you. Some nights I would pretend that he was our child. Marinette I love you but my life as Alfred Pennyworth cannot be removed from history. This is why I am asking you to move on, find love again.

Marinette sobs softly into his shoulder telling him that she'll do her best. Alfred smiles before pulling out a familiar ring placing it in her hand. Before telling Plagg that he better keep his Princess safe. Marinette giggles softly kissing him on his cheek.

Marinette- Keep in touch please Adrien, I can't live without you at least in my life.

Alfred nods kissing Marinette's hands gently before bidding all three of them goodbye.

Marinette continues on with her life but she doesn't fall in love again. She knows in her heart thay the only one for her was Adrien. Marinette becomes a famous fashion designer by day and Mari by night. She begins training Zatanna along with Zatara. Helping stop bag guys with simple spells. When Zatanna is 15 she encourages Zatara to let her hang out with the Young Justice team and be a part of it. She happily spies through a seeing glass to see their first meeting. Marinette giggles when her cousin takes an instant liking to the young boy wonder. She smiles softly at the picture of the boy knowing that he was Alfred's honorary grandson.

A few weeks later Marinette is working to reunite the dimensions. When they make it back she is heartbroken to see her cousin with the Helmet of Fate. Zatara immediately tries to convince him to take him instead but Marinette stops him.

Marinette- Release my cousin and take me instead Nabu.

Nabu-No, you barely show any signs of magic.

Marinette huffs before chanting a reversal incantation on the spell she put in place all those years ago. Her aura fills the area allowing everyone to feel her magic.

Marinette-If you release her you can have me. I just need to do a few things first.

Nabu- Very well.

He released Zatanna, Zatara is quick to hug her before turning to Marinette angry demanding to know why she did that with tears in his eyes. Marinette smiled softly before kissing his cheeks softly then kissing Zatanna's. She summons a pen and paper with an envelope writing out a letter to Alfred. She sealed the envelope before turning to Robin.

Marinette- Please deliver this to Agent A for me little birdie. Tell him Ladybug said it was important.

She pats his head gently before smiling softly at Batman.

Marinette- He thinks of you as his son, but he'll never admit it because he doesn't want to take your father's place. Trust me though, a child can have more than one father.

She said glancing down at Robin when she said it. She turned away from them looking down at her cousin once again.

Marinette- Zatanna, my dearest cousin. I will be departing soon and with that I need to name the next Guardian. Will you uphold and protect the Kwami to the best of your ability?

As she is speaking, Marinette holds out her hands the Miraculous box and Gilmore appears in them. Zatanna chokes back a sob before nodding.

Zatanna- Ib accept.

Marinette passed her the box smiling gently as Tikki flew out of her coat pocket.

Marinette- This is goodbye Tikki, we made a good team didn't we?

Tikki- We were the best Marinette.

Tikki and Marinette smile gently, a few tears slipping past as Tikki kissed Marinette's forehead gently.

Marinette- Zatanna, I hear by name you the new holder of the Ladybug Miraculous. Treat her well and she shall bring you everlasting luck.

Marinette unclips her earring, clipping them into Zatanna's ears gently.

Marinette-You will make a fine Ladybug.

Zatanna- I'll be nothing like you.

Marinette- No, you'll be better.

She kissed her forehead gently before turning to Zatara as he pulled her into a tight hug. She sniffled softly hugging back just as tightly. She released him, pushing herself away and closer to Nabu.

Marinette- Please dont blame yourselves. I made this decision not you. Goodbye, I love you.

Marinette turned allowing the helmet to close around her, becoming Doctor Fate.

Upon returning to the Watchtower, Alfred arrived wearing a mask of his own before walking over to his two charges. Robin held the letter out to him shifting nervously.

Robin- Ladybug said it was important.

Alfred's eyes widen as he takes the letter opening it.

Adrien, I'm sorry but I was never able to move on from you. You were and always will by my true love. I'm afraid this is my goodbye, please don't do anything stupid love. You're not as young as you were when we were together. You've raised a good son, I wish I could have been by you the entire time. I love you Adrien. -Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Alfred turned to Zatanna and Zatara as a tear fell. They nodded solemnly soon more tears joined them as he stood there silently. A few moments went by before Alfred dabbed his face gently singing quietly to himself.

Alfred- Miraculous, simply the best, up to the test when things go wrong, Miraculous the luckiest….Im Chat Noir. At night I rule, my ring is charged with energy, my claws are out just watch and see.

Alfred's shoulders shook as he thought of all their time together. He took a deep breath before turning back to Zatanna.

Alfred- In every letter she wrote she was always so proud of you. She always told me that you were going to be great one day, even better than her. My princess will always be proud of you, take it from your almost cousin.

Zatanna sniffled before snorting and hugging Alfred.

Zatanna-God you got so old and sappy Adrien.

Alfred-Its Alfred now and that's what happens when you get thrown back in time and aged.

He turned to Batman and Robin with a sad smile on his face.

Alfred-I think it's time you both hear of my life before MI-16.

@blackmagicforever

@chocolateherringtacofan

@mythogaychic

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

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Anger and Love

I can tell you this. I still hurt over the ending of this show and the reasons roll into each other, like tangled yarn tossed in a bin. (In this metaphor, I am the bin.)

Castiel

The BURY YOUR GAYS trope. My GOD when will this show learn. (The answer is never. Never, because it’s over.) In 15x18 Cas confesses his love and then dies. Guess who else dies in this episode? Charlie and Stevie! The writers said, “Who will hurt the most to lose? Ah, yes. Charlie in the new and terrified bloom of love.” We can ASSUME that Charlie and Stevie come back, but we don’t get to see it or hear about it. And we get the barest throwaway line that Cas comes back in 15x20, but not seeing him physically return after over a decade on the show feels like a blow that just won’t stop.

More EMOTIONS below the cut.

On Thursday, I said to Boris that it would have been better if we’d never been tossed that crumb about Cas’s love. Why give us this FEAST and then take it away like Chuck poofing away a dog? Many people have pointed to network cowardice, and that’s certainly a possibility. Some people have put forth the theory that exposing Cas’s love for Dean was simply a season-ending ratings move. Either of those could be true, or some mix of them. Listen, I can spin myself around that stupid knot for days and we’ll probably never get the whole story. Instead, I have to look at the core of what Castiel coming out means for me. And the truth of it is, it means A LOT. It means I love him a whole lot more. Cas is mine, he’s ours, he’s one of us. And I’m angry as hell at how it went down, but I’m still glad we got Cas’s side of the story. I have a pride pin on the lapel of my Cas trench, and it’s never felt more perfect.

So I’m angry, but I’m also incredibly glad. Ugh. Knots.

Boris: We’ll never know what actually went down during the production of this season and the hiatus changes or the show’s narrative arc, but I have to believe that Robert Berens was given some kind of go ahead and planned for a lovely and beautiful ending for Dean and Cas. That his story was taken from him at the end (much like Wayward’s eventual ending), is so unfair. Because Cas’s story wasn’t completed. Dean and Cas’s story will forever float out there for us to ponder. Like Natasha, I will cling to Cas’s confession and see it as a beautiful coming out moment for a character I love very much. I’ll be forever despondent that we didn’t see Dean’s story play out on our televisions.

Dean

I didn’t come out as bi to more than three people until my late 30’s. It was something I was first in denial about, and then it just seemed “not relevant” for a large swath of my life (married for 18 years now). Talking about that with my family and friends surprised me - how relieved I felt. How free. As I was working through this, I was also slipping into Supernatural fandom, and watching a show where Dean COULD BE bi. Reader, I projected myself right onto Dean Bean. Maybe he was like me. Clueless, then in denial, then thinking that part of himself irrelevant. So giving us Cas without Dean, given the scenes we watch on the show, feels like a personal affront. I know I’m projecting here, so I’ll acknowledge those feelings and move on to the next…

I am also PISSED about Dean’s story. All his life he’s been “daddy’s blunt instrument” and ready to die bloody on a hunt. It’s spoken about so often that we think surely - at the end - we’ll subvert that. SURELY he’ll survive. The last couple of seasons, he’s fighting for control - freedom from Michael, freedom from Chuck. He finally achieves that freedom and then loses everything anyway. There are no rewards on Earth. He died solving one last case from John’s journal. Daddy’s little soldier to the end. It’s disgusting to me to take this beautiful, complex character who is textually SO FULL OF LOVE and then take a pass on imagining what he might do with a real life on earth. It’s lazy writing, used for a cheap, fast, emotional reaction. The more I unpack Dean’s fate against the rest of the series, the angrier I get.

Boris: I think so many of us confused and discovering things about ourselves later in life see Dean as a character that matters. His story, had it been told fully, would have mattered. I don’t buy his death or his peaceful afterlife. It’s still too raw to process because he deserves happiness in life!

Billie

“I know Supernatural has a history of killing off characters of color,” I told people, “but Billie’s a main character now!” W O W 15x18 is the kick that keeps on kicking. I did actually enjoy Billie’s arc quite a bit, but losing her still makes me angry, in the broader context of the show.

Women

“Supernatural isn’t great with women,” I said. “But we have Mary now! And Billie!” Please picture me as Olaf when I say. “Mary DIES. Billie DIES. Only sad men remain.” Sure, we get some throwaway lines. We know Donna’s alive in 15x20 because of the call to Dean’s phone. Actually, scratch that, we know someone talked to Donna…because this show didn’t want to address that literally no other hunter knew about or mourned Dean’s death so they had a random stranger call Dean’s “Other other phone” for help. Great. Now I’m mad about Dean again.

We can probably blame some of how the final episode shakes out on COVID. Presumably, the final scene in Heaven would have been a party with Mary, the roadhouse crew, original Charlie, maybe Eileen? Kevin? etc etc. Instead, it’s an empty, lonely end on screen.

Which brings me to Eileen. Sam’s romance was laid out carefully throughout season 15, so what the fuck happened here? We assumed we’d at least get some confirmation that Sam ends up with the woman he brought back from the dead and then dated as recently as a couple episodes ago. Instead, there is literally NOTHING. No attempt is made to say that Eileen’s the one Sam ends up with other than his son having dark hair. There are no family portraits. No sign language to the faceless mother by the house. (Standing in a floral dress, like a good housewife.) Is she dead? Did Sam end up with someone else? Even without dialogue, there are ways to show Eileen’s presence that weren’t used. I’m so angry that she was an element of the season and then…hand waved away as irrelevant. The faceless wife MY GOD, SHOW.

Boris: Yikes, I cynically see the reason to not include Cas in the end because homophobiaTM but to not even give us Eileen and Sam? Clearly, they wanted to erase every person that mattered to the brothers from the end. Ugly.

Heaven

The funny thing is that I’m constantly trying to write a “happy eternity in a now-free Heaven” in my own fan fiction. If anyone should like 15x20 it should be me! I’m always trying to argue that it isn’t major character death, because their souls are infinite and now free, blah blah blah. So ultimately, my problem isn’t with peace in Heaven. It’s with Dean’s EARLY DEATH, and how empty Heaven feels. How desolate and devoid of life. Dean leaves the Roadhouse and drives alone until finally Sam dies and joins him. It reads like the ultimate fuck you to the “family don’t end in blood” storyline. If COVID filming got in the way of filling Heaven with life, then we have all suffered a great loss. It should feel ecstatic and full of community. Instead, it just feels wide and lonely.

Ultimately, boiling the season finale into an intimate portrait of brothers should work on paper. It SHOULD, but the show leaves so much unsaid and unshown about the community and family they’ve built along the way, and tells us to be happy with the scraps we’ve gotten instead. It tells us they were never that important, in the end.

The Future

I’m still going to watch the show. I’m still going to enjoy the show and the characters. There are reasons I have watched all along, and they don’t have anything to do with needing the show wrapped up in a neat bow. I’m angry with Supernatural’s conclusion, because I love it. And I’m okay with that.

Boris: I love this show so much, and I know I’ll continue to love it. I need time to lick my wounds and forget about this episode. This show is about the characters and the journey and that’ll never end.

#spn spoilers #supernatural season 15 #spn 15x20 #carry on #spn 15x19 #inherit the earth #spn 15x18 #despair #spn thoughts #about us

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andrewmoocow · 3 years

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Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 24: Fragments (originally published on August 23, 2021)

AN: The end of the Alternate Future begins here! Or this story at least, I've got a few follow-ups planned after finishing this one, one of which I might set up here. But regardless, here we are at the end of Part 3 and from here on out, things will go downhill for our heroes & uphill for our villains. Can Steven be saved from both himself and Black Rutile? Who knows? Except for me that is, and a very select few as well. But I've had enough keeping you in suspense, let's get straight to the action.

Synopsis: Steven's condition gets worse and he seeks help from Jasper.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Dee Bradley Baker as Lion

Ron Perlman as ?

"Hear me my followers and rejoice!" Black Rutile declared, with Aquamarine perched on her shoulder, as she recorded herself making a grand speech to her remaining minions in her cave lair. "Our day of revengeance is at hand! No more shall that sanctimonious half-breed tyrant enforce his iron-fisted rule over our people! Because despite claiming to be a pure-hearted child, recent intel has confirmed he is far from it."

As an example, Black Rutile played the footage of Steven crashing his father's van that her satellite had gathered. "Look at this absolutely abhorrent act." She stated. "What kind of child would ever dare murder their father without any rhyme or reason?"

"Actually, there have been a few throughout this planet's history that have done just that." White Topaz leaned into view to point out.

"SHUT IT TOPAZ!" Black Rutile angrily commanded before turning back to her viewers. "Anyways, soon he will be exposed as the monster he truly is, and with the army we have regrown from the colonies some of my subordinates have retaken, we shall lay siege to the tyrannical Crystal Gems and strike them at our weakest!"

"You sure about that my Rutile?" Black Rutile's Topaz bodyguard leaned back in, much to her master's anger. "'Cause I've gotten word from Cinnabar's faction that some of your former Black Pearls have formed, like, a little squadron to fight back against her."

"Can you not ruin my speech, you ignoramus?!" Black Rutile shoved her Topaz away. Just as she was about to make a grand conclusion to her speech, Black Rutile quickly declared "End transmission." and shut off the recording. "Now look what you did, I was making a motivational speech to my allies, but you had to keep getting in the way just like you always do!"

"Always?" White Topaz replied while making shadow puppets against the cave wall. "Look, I may spoil your plans some of the time, but your ego is just as much to blame the rest of the time."

"That is indeed true Topaz, but now I must ask," Black Rutile said. "what is with this attitude? Where's the overly polite idiot that always followed my orders without question, no matter how horrible they are?"

"I'm betting she's already having second thoughts about your plans." Aquamarine advised her superior.

"You mind if I," Eyeball suggested before making a slashing noise with her mouth and pulling her chisel from her gem. "put her to rest?"

"I'm being serious you guys!" White Topaz said. "The three of you may think you're Gems of the people, but I don't think Gems like those would ever hyperfocus on ruining the life of one person instead of just focusing on something healthier!"

"Like what, forcing ourselves to join those ingrates and deprive ourselves of our way of life in favor of becoming part of a hive-mind?" Black Rutile asked, menacingly pulling out her bowie knife to threaten her Topaz with. "I have been plotting against the Crystal Gems ever since Steven brainwashed the Diamonds, and I refuse to abandon those plans just because you don't like them! Now, are you going to be a good little bodyguard, or do you want to ditch your best friend in favor of the hypocrite?"

Although White Topaz showed tons of reluctance, she nervously got down on one knee and bowed her head to her three teammates. "No, my Rutile. I am at your beck and call, whenever you need me."

"Very good my Topaz." Black Rutile put away her knife to pat White Topaz on the head with an evil smile, before turning away to tap at her visor. "Now if we have nothing else to discuss, it seems the seeds of doubt I have planted in Steven's mind that fateful night have finally begun to grow." She stated before her visor created a holographic chessboard with pieces resembling herself & her minions on one side, and the Crystal Gems & the Diamonds on the other. "Now all we need is just one last push." On that last word, Black Rutile then spawned a chess piece resembling Jasper that she put squarely in the middle of the board.

Far from Black Rutile's lair in the woods, Steven and Greg had finally returned home to Beach City after a father-son outing that turned rather disastrous. Fortunately, the Crystal Gems were already home to be told of what happened and as Steven gazed out over the deck, Bismuth asked Greg what happened.

"So Steven just flew off the handle because of a song?" Bismuth asked while helping Greg put his van back together. "Frankly, I could think of weirder reasons to get angry."

"No, it wasn't because of the song." Greg admitted to the blacksmith. "It was because we drove off to my childhood home in Keystone and he learned that my upbringing wasn't too different from his mom's."

"I don't think you ever told anyone about when you were a kid." Bismuth replied.

"Not that I wanted to until now." Greg stated. "But after that crash, I don't think I ever want to bring them up again. Steven started ranting about how he wished the Gems never found Earth and he had a normal human life like I had."

"Whoa whoa whoa, where did all this come from?!" Bismuth yelled in alarm, raising her hands towards the former rock star.

"That's what I said!" Greg exclaimed before turning to his despondent son. "And now that I think about it, maybe he had good reason for those wishes after all he's been through."

Steven looked down in utter shame and regret before he walked back inside the beach house, clearly avoiding a chance to speak with his father about the incident.

As soon as Steven got inside, the other Crystal Gems were there to greet him, but the looks on their faces told Steven things weren't going to be good.

"Sit down on the couch Steven, we need to talk." Pearl commanded the son of her deceased lover, who did as he was told before Pearl began pacing around. "I just can't believe you, Steven! Crashing the van with Greg inside?! You know how fragile humans are, young man! These pink outbursts need to be dealt with!"

"It's not an outburst!" Steven yelled, briefly inflating himself as he turned pink.

"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about!" Pearl exclaimed before Steven got back up and started walking away. "What is happening to you?!"

"It's nothing, just puberty, honest!" Steven cried as he struggled to keep his pink form at bay.

"Whoa no little dude, I've seen enough sitcoms to know that is not what puberty is like!" Amethyst declared. "Right, Garnet?"

"I can confirm, this is not regular puberty." Garnet nodded before Steven put up a literal wall between him and his guardians.

"Steven, drop the wall this instant!" Pearl ordered as she pressed against the pink, hexagonal dome.

"I'm sorry Pearl!" Steven gasped in apology before the wall disappeared. "I just need some space, okay? I'll be in my room." But as Steven walked upstairs, Amethyst rushed to keep him from going any further.

"Not so fast, my dude!" Amethyst declared. "You gotta tell us what's going on!"

"It seems like Steven wants to avoid a serious discussion altogether." Garnet analyzed.

"No, I'M NOT!" Steven yelled, dropping to his knees and pounding his fist on the stairs, creating a shockwave that shook the entire room.

"Steven, either you talk to us about what's going on, or you're grounded until you're able to explain." Garnet firmly declared.

"She's right man, you gotta chill!" Amethyst exclaimed.

"We need to do something about this before anyone else gets hurt!" Pearl stated as Steven continued struggling where he stood.

"Don't let these strange powers control you." Garnet tried desperately to calm the half-Gem down. "You're better than this."

"LEAVE ME ALOOONE!" Steven finally roared, causing a pink shockwave to burst from his body and seemingly force the Gems to move in slow motion. Or rather, he was moving faster than everyone else. "I'm speeding up again!" he muttered while gazing at his equally pink hands. "I gotta get out of here!"

Steven ran out of the house and far away from the Crystal Gems. There was barely anywhere he could go right now. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl kept enabling these strange new powers, yet Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth probably barely knew what to do about things. Thus, there was only one Gem left he knew could help him in his time of need.

"The Gems tried to help me, but they just kept making things worse." Steven explained to Jasper later that night while the two sat around a campfire in front of her cave. "And that's why I refuse to go back."

"So what you're saying is," Jasper answered before dramatically removing the cloak she was wearing. "you want a rematch?!"

"What?! No!" Steven exclaimed. "I just told you why I came here in the first place. I think my Diamond powers are coming out, and I have no idea how to control them. I just want to be alone so I can't hurt anyone or be super toxic and controlling."

"So, you finally admitted it, eh?" Jasper rolled her eyes as she got up and walked away. "If you want to be alone, your definition of it is horribly wrong!"

"But Jasper, this is the last place anyone would look for me!" Steven explained before running after Jasper. "Wait, don't leave me here!" he begged the bigger Gem. "This thing with my powers is the real problem."

"The only problem you have is your friends." Jasper declared, much to Steven's confusion. "Just like how you keep holding everyone back, they're doing the same to you!"

"Are you sure?" Steven asked. "I definitely believe I'm getting them all worried."

"That's because they're afraid of you." Jasper responded. "And not just of your powers, but your control over others. And you are too! You came out here to hide, but I'm not one to hide myself. I don't need to hide my power or try to stifle it, I let everything out by training!"

"Like this forest?" Steven wondered, looking around the patch of destroyed trees he and Jasper have stumbled upon.

"Exactly." Jasper answered, walking up to a tree and making it fall over with a single punch. "And to control that power, I have to use it. Those so-called friends of yours don't understand because they always want to make you feel bad for being yourself!"

"Yeah, I do feel bad." Steven muttered to himself, gazing at his fist before walking over to punch another tree, turning pink as he landed a blow that created massive cracks on the bark and wounded his hand.

"Yeah, crush that weakling tree!" Jasper cheered Steven on.

"No!" Steven exclaimed before kissing the tree to fix the damage he did.

"Are you kidding me?! That's disgusting!" Jasper gagged at the sight when she looked down to discover that Steven's kiss caused some grass to grow around them. "No, the grass!" she yelled and rapidly pulled out the grass beneath her. "Get out of here!" Jasper then angrily turned to Steven and picked him up by the collar of his jacket. "Quit helping this planet's ecosystem and show me! Show me your power!"

Jasper harshly threw Steven to the ground, causing him to groan in pain. "No way Jasper!" Steven coughed as he got up from the toss. "I can handle myself!"

"Shut up!" Jasper yelled and lunged at Steven, who turned pink on reflex and created a barrier to defend himself from the Quartz's ruthless attack, but it proved ineffective as Jasper punched straight through it, causing Steven to fall to the ground. "This is it; this is all you were worried about?! What a rip-off!"

As Steven helped himself off the dirt, Jasper just kept on yelling. "I am way stronger than everyone you hold back and are holding you back in return!" she bellowed while pointing at Steven. "Because I'm not afraid of this, and you shouldn't be either!"

In response, Steven turned pink again and created another shield to launch at his opponent. "Yeah, that's more like it!" Jasper declared eagerly and prepared to defend herself, smashing the shield with just her arm. "Now tell me, was it good to let your anger out that way?"

"Y-yeah." Steven realized how good it felt to vent his rage on someone who could be a match for him, allowing Jasper to let out a loud laugh. "If I stay here, will you teach me how to control all this?"

"I won't teach you until you fight me!" Jasper refused the offer.

"Well, I won't fight you unless you teach me!" Steven replied.

"Ugh, fine!" Jasper groaned in resignation.

"Really?!" Steven smiled as he returned to his normal color.

"Here's lesson number one," Jasper responded. "No smiling."

"But I've seen you smile." Steven pointed out the goofy smile Jasper wore when he agreed to fight her not too long ago.

"Lesson two, shut up!" Jasper yelled before she kicked Steven into the air, and the boy landed far from where she could see him with a thud.

"Guess my training starts now." Steven declared to himself before he heard footsteps behind him and turned around to find who was behind him. "YOU!"

"Training with Jasper, Steven?" Black Rutile snickered disdainfully. "Wow kid, you're not just one Spinel, you're an entire circus of them!"

"What do you want with me now Black Rutile?" Steven asked his new archenemy as Black Rutile's three minions appeared behind her.

"We just came here to talk." Aquamarine answered. "As much as we would love to kidnap you and hold you for ransom, or maybe even kill you right here and now, we think hanging with a brute like her is much more fitting."

"Besides, we all know you'll just drive her away like you did to everyone else." Eyeball laughed. "Or maybe even something worse!"

"Look, what we're trying to say is that you should just give up now and get the help you really need." White Topaz cautioned Steven, unaware of how angry she made her teammates. "We only want what's best for you, so you won't get in the way of my Rutile's plan!"

"Are you seriously trying to help our enemy here?" Black Rutile growled with eyelids lowered at White Topaz. "I thought you were at my beck and call whenever I needed you!"

"If you're trying to ruin my life again, it won't work." Steven firmly declared as he got up to face the four insurgent Gems. "I know what you really are, Black Rutile. You're no hero to Homeworld, you're just a callous bully who will do anything to get her way."

"GROW UP STEVEN, GROW UP!" Black Rutile abruptly yelled at Steven's face. "Sociopath, hypocrite! Refusing to save a dying pet because of the natural order when he refuses to accept everyone is leaving him! Who's the real villain between us two, my boy, hm?"

"Still you." Steven remained resolute against the Rutile.

"You can't even begin to comprehend my current plans." Black Rutile replied just as resolutely. "Soon, everyone on this accursed rock will see you for the monster you truly are."

"Hey, where are you?!" Jasper bellowed from afar, and Black Rutile saw this as her cue to leave.

"Wouldn't want to keep a certain someone waiting." Black Rutile smirked. "But at least the three of us agree the Crystal Gems are the real problem."

"Aw, but I wanna turn Jasper against Steven too!" Eyeball complained. "Plus it would be an honor to see her in person again. The real deal, not an Amethyst shapeshifting into her."

"Oh, shut up, and let's get out of here." Aquamarine slapped her Ruby partner and dragged her away by the hand.

"Hey, no hard feelings kid?" White Topaz asked Steven, causing Black Rutile to slap her mouth shut.

"We'll see each other again Steven." Black Rutile declared. "But until then, I'll be watching you, just like I've always had since our last fight."

As the four rogue Gems left, Steven was left alone with his thoughts once more. And with those thoughts, a certain voice in his head re-emerged. "You know, she does raise a few good points."

"You again!" Steven said to the voice. "What do you want now? Are you another Gem working for Black Rutile?!"

"Well, kind of." The voice answered. "I'm not directly working for her, but it's thanks to her that I'm even speaking to you now. Remember that night while the Gems were out in Los Diego? She helped me grow."

"I thought so." Steven muttered in a moment of clarity. "But please, just leave me alone!"

"Maybe I'll just sit back and watch while you worry your so-called friends sick." The voice laughed deeply. "Don't you worry, we'll be seeing each other again very soon."

With that foreboding goodbye, the voice once again vanished from Steven's thoughts. Was it true, was that voice even haunting Steven because of what Black Rutile said to him? Or could it perhaps be even older than that?

"Are you dead or something?!" Jasper yelled for Steven. "Come back over here if you aren't, we got training to do tomorrow!"

"I'm coming!" Steven cried and raced back to Jasper's cave. As soon as he got there, Jasper threw her cloak at his face. "What was that for?"

"Think you might need this." Jasper stated while peering out from her cave. "Humans need to sleep, right?"

"Aw, you really do care for me." Steven blushed at the seemingly kind gesture, but Jasper just scoffed and retreated into the darkness of her home. Steven then just shrugged and laid down on the ground with the cloak covering him like a blanket, gazing up at the stars and wondering how the Crystal Gems must be doing.

The next morning, the Crystal Gems were now searching across Beach City for the missing Steven. Pearl had placed posters all over town while Greg helped Lion and Amethyst sniff around for him, but so far they found nothing that would help them.

"Whoa, easy Amethyst!" Greg yelled as he tugged on the leash of a purple-furred Dalmatian with an amethyst gemstone on her chest, which then turned into an exhausted Amethyst.

"We're getting nowhere with this!" Amethyst complained. "I mean, I learned how he could slow down time through Smoky Quartz, and even I don't have a clue!"

"I hope we find him soon, I'm getting worried." Pearl whimpered before she found Garnet walking up to them. "Anything from Little Homeworld, Garnet?"

"Nothing, Peridot and Lapis told me they didn't see Steven recently." Garnet answered. "However, Zuli said she did see a pink blur zoom past yesterday."

"That's the same one I saw with Bismuth while we were fixing the van!" Greg declared. "Could that be Steven?"

"It probably is." Pearl said before she began to break down into tears and hug Greg tightly. "I miss my baby!"

"We all do Pearl." Greg sniffed and returned the hug, followed by Garnet, Amethyst, and Lion joining in to comfort the Pearl. "We all do."

However, little did the Gems know, Steven was perfectly fine. But not the kind of fine they want him to be.

Far off in the woods, Steven had fallen fast asleep underneath the blanket Jasper had lent him. But his rest wouldn't last long as Jasper emerged from her cave and smashed a wall, shocking him awake.

"Rise and shine, your training begins today!" Jasper barked as she walked up to the half-Gem boy and picked him up by the neck. "Now tell me, what are you here for again?"

"Uh, to get a better control of my powers?" Steven answered.

"Not enough energy." Jasper shook her head in disdain. "Why don't we start with the only way you can talk to people?" she suggested and then cleared her throat. "So you're here because of your mother, kid? Well, whoop-de-doo!" the big Quartz began singing while circling Steven. "You still haven't realized more have suffered than just you! If you wanna get tougher kid, here's a tip. I got three little words for you: get a grip!"

"Shouldn't that apply to you too?" Steven asked his new mentor.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Jasper growled while walking towards some boulders and picked one up.

"I mean, you're stuck here because of me." Steven continued, much to Jasper's anger. "Not to mention closets full of-"

"Do you want my help or not?!" Jasper roared.

"Yes ma'am!" Steven nervously complied before Jasper threw him a boulder.

"That's better." Jasper grinned smugly as she hoisted up more boulders on her back and walked away. "Follow me."

"You've been through a lot brat, but let me say something about that." Jasper began singing again as Steven followed her up the mountain with boulders in hand. "As a veteran, I've seen far messier, you should've seen the Clash at the Theater."

"I don't think I've heard of that before." Steven stated while setting the boulders down nearby.

"Doesn't matter, just giving an example." Jasper replied as she dropped her boulders too. "Now come on, throw me some shields!" Steven nodded before he turned pink and summoned multiple barriers to unleash on Jasper, who managed to break through all of them. "The fusion's all high and mighty. Amethyst can be pretty flighty. And the Pearl, wow, she's nuts, you see! They all got experience, but none like mine!"

"Maybe when you're done, you'll be feeling just fine." The next day, Steven continued training via splitting logs in half on a stump, while Jasper demonstrated her superior strength by knocking down a tree with just a push. In the meantime, Black Rutile whispered something into Jasper's ear without her knowing the Rutile was even there.

"If you wanna get tougher kid, here's a tip." As night began to fall, Jasper challenged Steven to a race, her spin-dash against his pink form's speed. "I got three little words for you: get a grip! Ya hear me!"

"Yeah, those three little words are 'Get a Grip!'" Steven joined in on the song as he began catching up to Jasper.

"Now we're talking!" Jasper cheered triumphantly.

"No time for healing!" As the training went on to the day after that, Steven had grown slightly taller and more muscular, and even began growing a beard as he threw another barrier at Jasper. "Who needs feeling?!"

"You're still reeling?" Steven caught a fish in the river with a more polygonal bubble that he cooked up to eat, while Black Rutile loomed behind him with another lie to tell him. "Well, my tips are quite appealing! Let's say it again!"

"If you wanna get tougher kid, here's a tip." Steven and Jasper harmonized while clashing fists in a forest clearing. "I got three little words for you: get a grip!"

"Yes, for everything to go as planned, get a grip." Black Rutile muttered while watching the two train with an evil smile, eager to see how far Steven has come and how far he'll fall.

The next day, thunder began rumbling far from Steven, who knelt in front of a campfire with a more muscular body that made him as tall as Jasper and a wildly different hairstyle.

"I found more rocks!" Jasper called out to her student while tossing over some more rocks for him to train with. "You won't believe how hard it is to find a good rock around here, especially since we broke most of them."

"I'm done with rocks Jasper." Steven declared while getting up to face Jasper. "I'm finally ready. For our rematch." He then put out the fire behind him with one stomp, showing the other Gem how serious he was.

"Took you long enough!" Jasper cackled as she cracked her knuckles and prepared for her long-awaited round 2. "Then come on, show me what you got!"

Steven responded by creating another hexagonal shield to launch at Jasper. However, Jasper jumped over the shield and attempted to punch Steven, but suddenly, she got punched instead. As Steven let out a gasp, Jasper summoned her horned crash helmet and slammed it into Steven's head, sending him tumbling backwards into the ground.

"What are you holding back for Steven?!" Jasper yelled while the resulting smoke began to clear. "You think you can't take it, that I'm just going to coddle you the whole way through, just like the Gems?! You still want to go back to them?"

"No!" Steven coughed from the smoke.

"You still afraid to be strong?!" Jasper continued taunting her foe. "Are you dull?! ARE YOU PITIFUL?!"

"I AM NOT!" Steven bellowed out loud, causing a shockwave that knocked Jasper back, and nearly shook a certain Rutile from a tree she was hiding in as he lunged at Jasper with fury in his eyes.

"Is that all?!" Jasper cackled arrogantly, forcing Steven to create more barriers to strike at her with, which finally landed a hit on Jasper and slammed her into a tree. "That's more like it!"

Steven let out a sadistic giggle before he lunged again, far faster than normal as he started repeatedly punching Jasper while the two soared through the forest and into the air.

"Come on, come on!" Jasper beckoned Steven as their brawl took to the skies. "Show your master what you can really do!"

Steven's maniacal laughter grew louder and louder with each punch before kicking Jasper to the ground. "You were right Jasper!" he declared while summoning more shields to trap Jasper with before forming an even larger one in front of him. "I HAVE BEEN HOLDING BACK!"

With a murderous smile and white diamonds in his eyes, Steven made his barrier grow razor-sharp spikes before launching it at his captive opponent. And for the first time in what felt like ages, as the spiked shield rocketed towards her, Jasper felt one emotion that she barely showed to anyone else.

Pure, unadulterated terror.

What had she done?

The cloudy skies gave way to a loud thunderstorm as Black Rutile climbed up to the top of another tree to watch the outcome of the fight, and she was more than happy with what she was seeing.

"Bravo Steven, I never knew you had it in you!" Black Rutile clapped loud enough for Steven to hear as he returned to his senses to realize what he had just done. "If I hadn't planned for that, she would've made a great bodyguard!"

With tears and raindrops staining his face, Steven hid whatever he was hiding in his balled-up fist while glaring at Black Rutile before he raced back to Jasper's cave. When Black Rutile decided to climb down the tree, she was greeted by the nervous look on her Topaz's face. "So, who were you betting on to win?"

"I was betting on Steven to curb his problems more healthily, and you just kept stringing him along!" White Topaz accused her superior, but her accusations were shut down by a bowie knife pointed straight at her face. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Would a shadow puppet make you feel better?!"

"No need." Black Rutile frowned, hiding behind the tree to watch as Steven, now wearing his jacket again, hid his fist in one of the pockets while running out of the woods. "Nothing makes me happier than seeing him squirm."

"Oh yeah, it's funny how pathetic he is." White Topaz laughed nervously in agreement. "Come on, let's head back to the cave. Don't wanna get wet."

"Indeed," Black Rutile agreed and strolled back to their lair with her arms behind her back. "wouldn't want anyone knowing what we did to him."

"I sent so many messages, but he hasn't replied!" Pearl fretted while pacing around the beach house as the storm continued. "Do you think he even had his phone when he ran away?! What if something horrible happened and it's all our fault because he wanted to stay away from us?! What if-" Pearl's panicking soon turned to hyperventilating as she curled up into a ball on the floor and began rocking back and forth when Amethyst stepped in to calm her down.

"Pearl, chill out!" Amethyst literally shook Pearl out of her traumatized state and picked her up off the floor. "Panting and sweating over everything won't bring Steven back! It's not like he's going to just barge in as soon as I finish talking!"

Just then, Steven finally returned home, much to the Crystal Gems' delight and worry. However, he had no time to tell them where he's been as he gunned for the bathroom.

"Steven, where have you been?!" Pearl cried out in fright for her surrogate son.

"No time to talk!" Steven exclaimed before ducking into the bathroom.

"Seriously man, we've been looking everywhere!" Amethyst added just as the door closed in front of her. "Hey, what was that in your hand?"

"Nothing important!" Steven replied, peeking out the door one last time before going back.

"The way he said that makes me get a bad feeling about this." Garnet declared ominously.

'This has been a horrible day.' Steven thought to himself while filling up the bathtub and snatching the three Diamond essence bottles from the mirror, taking a moment to find a dark shadow in the exact shape of his muscular self from earlier standing behind his reflection.

"I never knew you had it in you either." The shadow growled before Steven turned to dump all the Diamonds' essences in the bathwater and pulled his fist out of his pocket, unfolding it to reveal Jasper's shattered remains in his palms.

"Please work, you gotta work!" Steven muttered in total panic while piecing Jasper's broken gemstone the best he could and submerging it in the water. "Please Jasper, I'm sorry!" he began sobbing for the deceased Gem, his hot tears streaking against his face and dropping into the water.

"I'm sorry."

END OF PART 3: FRAGMENTED MIND

TO BE CONCLUDED IN PART 4: WE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FAMILY

Wow. Great googly moogly, it's all gone to shit, just the kind of shit that Black Rutile likes. Is Jasper truly gone? Okay, definitely not since next chapter after the break will be Homeworld Bound. Has Black Rutile won? Maybe. Will the voice in Steven's head take the wheel? Who knows? Find out on the epic final part of Steven Universe: Alternate Future, to perhaps begin after the usual two-month hiatus. Or maybe I should go for a shorter hiatus this time. Or maybe longer? What do you guys think? I mean, by the time I publish this, I'll be getting ready for sophomore year of college so my time will most definitely be filled up. But regardless, there are now only eight chapters left of laughs, tears and adrenaline rush, so don't even try to miss the next arc! Okay, peace!

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #steven quartz universe #garnet #amethyst #pearl #jasper #black rutile #white topaz #aquamarine #eyeball ruby #greg universe #bismuth

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