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starstrike · 3 months

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Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously. It makes my skin crawl.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

#Mithrun #mithrun dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi #ren rambles #dungeon meshi meta #tag later #I refuse to post at prime time look at my dunmeshi meta boy #tw sa #sa tw #this is literally 1200 words slash 6 pages if I added citations and a proper essay format as well as an introduction to Mithrun's character #and general introduction of the text itself #this could literally be an academic paper #lmao #ren meta #rb this plsss i want ppl to read my essay

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moonstoast · 7 months

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#heavy sigh #words #web weave #art #web weaving #prose #paintings #poetry #parallels #comparatives #love #tag later

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wasyago · 2 months

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that last ask about alien grian also finally got me to figure out something for pearl's wings, i think those funky bright things look kinda fitting? i tried to combine something alien / unearthy looking and the shape of moth wings; idk how they work really or where are they growing from or if they even do grow naturally. i guess i do want them to be unnaturally natural and more fleshy-feeling, like, changing and growing and expanding in ways that don't seem normal but also aren't inherently magical? so, alien, okay. and i guess if they are natural then pearl has some zippers in the back or some other functional thing for when she doesn't have the wings out. ye

i haven't shared much of my headcanons through text for a while, it's mostly been through art and random hints, but this is fun sometimes

anyways, a little doodle

#this was also meant to be posted hours ago but i forgor #my art #sketch #yagotalk #tag later

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aueua · 4 months

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bound

#[art #.png]#[2023.zip]#deltarune #god. Nah #tag later #dr #dr kris #susie #ralsei

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bakubunny · 3 months

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ahem.

you said something about soft moments with katsuki. so. take this

tw: ageplay, daddy kink, small headspaces. okie bye bunny!

it was always a lot harder to sleep when katsuki had late night patrols, and it wasn’t like he didn’t check up on you regularly, there just wasn’t anything that could top his presence being right there with you. he had called about three hours prior, just to keep you company while you handled your nighttime routine all by yourself, his big girl. he talked to you about his day while you went potty, reminded you to brush your teeth (all of them) and let you read a bedtime story to him since he couldn’t be there to read it to you.

“thatta’ girl. i damn near fell asleep listening to that cute lil voice of yours.”

you had giggled at his tease, scolded him for swearing, and sighed softly when he had to say goodnight. yet here you were, still awake in your bed that he built himself, the wooden bars of the makeshift crib caging you in, your nightlight twinkling stars on your ceiling, your sound box playing sounds of nature to sooth you. you were still wide awake, thoughts of how deep and tired katsuki’s voice had sounded over the phone, rough and rumbling, stirring something mean in your tummy. it was all in knots, your thighs clenching together at the sudden ache between your legs. you missed him, all of your body did, and you bit back a whine when you caved and shoved the small bear you were clinging to between your legs. uncertainty bloomed within you as you gave an experimental rock forward, a shiver running up your spine. it was nothing compared to your daddy’s thigh, but it was all you had at the moment.

it did nothing to sooth you, in fact it just made your situation more uncomfortable now that you were all sticky between your legs. it was hopeless but your little brain could only think to keep going, katsuki had made pleasing you seem easy. you were so lost in your chase to pleasure that you hadn’t noticed him slipping into your bedroom, shucking off his outer gear, a small smile playing on his lips.

god he was tired, but seeing you up to no good was sure waking him up.

“aren’t you supposed to be sleeping, angel?”

you jump at the sound of his voice but instantly whip around to see him, a small pout playing on your lips, the toy clutched tight against your clothed core.

“daddy…it hurts.”

“oh yeah?” he spoke softly, lowering the bars to your bed and climbing in with you, he plucked the stuffie from between your clenched thighs with a shuddered breath, “open up, let daddy see.”

you nuzzle up to him, spreading your legs nice and wide so he could access, even in the dim lighting he could see the way a wet patch was blooming on the seat of your panties. he gave a sympathetic hum, brushing a knuckle against your swollen bud.

“couldn’t sleep, princess?”

you shook your head, keening when his thumb moved to massage your clit, nice firm circles that made your mouth gape in awe. “your voice…sounded good, made my tummy hurt.”

he ignored how your statement made his cock jump in his pants, opting to slip your ruined panties to the side, groaning at your puffy cunt all glazed over with your juices. he ran one finger along your entrance, curling it inside of you gently.

“that’s no good, daddy knows a way to fix that tummy ache. it’s probably just too empty, huh?”

you blink at him, already fluttery with just one finger stretching you out.

“what’s that mean,” you mumble, “i’m not hungry..”

he chuckled at your words, “i know baby, but daddy has other ways of filling you up, remember?”

oh. oh…

taking it and running bc i have a need.

#i started drafting smth to go with this #probably revisiting tmw or smth #you’re lovely tysm #bakugou smut #tw daddy kink #tw age play #tag later #x reader

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carrinth · 9 months

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The (literal) virgin Warden vs chad Warden-Commander.

My initial experience going from Origins to Awakening. 😎 Oh I'm sure I'll get my butt handed to me as I progress further but for now I'm savoring my OP-ness.

#the return of marzel #marzel amell #Marzel's strategy involves a lot of Hold position while he bombards Storm of the Century on the place :p #tag later #Dragon Age Stuff

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raayllum · 1 month

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Putting my arm around you seems very normal. I'm just gonna do... that.

#parallels #s6 spoilers #rayllum #rayllum parallels #some things never change #3x05 #5x04 #6x01 #i'm assuming or 6x02 #tag later #multi #arc 1 #arc 2

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leclerced · 5 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/enchantecafe/735984662758014976/hi-whispers-oscar-fucking-carlos-little

THE WAY I SCREAMED AND BECAME THE PERSONIFICATION OF: 😀😳😧

no bc THIS is the ultimate trope for oscar and carlos beef OH MY GOD?

imagine instead of oscar flat out telling him little sainz left her ring at his place oscar menace piastri starts wearing it around his neck on chain (i live and die for this trope oh my god). and the other drivers who’ve become acquainted with little sainz from years of carlos bringing her to races are like… “hold on is that what i think it is around the baby rookie’s neck😦?” i wanna imagine lando and charles are like lowkey laughing about it because carlos looks like he could literally murder oscar (or hire someone to do it) meanwhile oscar is just smugly staring at him as little sainz dotes on him while wearing his racing number (it’d be funny if a dts episode was about their beef and lil sainz is just sitting there all pretty like “???”)

part of me likes toxic oscar, but also i love that man too much. so in my head they are actually very happy together… getting to piss of carlos is just a bonus

-🌷

ok i didnt mean to write all this sorry not sorry. ending is rushed bc i realized it was Long. checked word count and its just over 1.4k so im adding a read more 🫶🏻

he ends up falling for her even though he just wanted to fuck with carlos, it takes him months to get into her pants and he’s so focused on the destination he forgets about the journey get there. he doesn’t realize he’s falling for her bc he’s never been in love before, so he doesn’t recognize it.

maybe the ring is very obvious like its gold with three diamonds on the front, he goes out and buys a matching gold chain that morning and he suddenly feels guilty for using her to get to carlos so he buys her a tennis bracelet to replace the ring he slipped off her finger. she’s awake and pouting when he gets back and immediately asks why he left. he silently holds up the jewelry store bag as he crawls back into bed with her. she immediately notices her ring dangling from his neck and reaches out to grasp it. she doesn’t know why but seeing him wearing it around his neck makes her stomach flutter. then he’s pulling a velvet box out of the bag and opening it to reveal a much prettier bracelet. he still doesn’t say anything as he clasps it around her wrist, and then he kisses her wrist right over her pulse point and murmurs, “just wanted to treat you.”

everyone immediately notices her bracelet when she shows up to the paddock and makes her way to carlos’s garage. he notices her ring is gone and the shiny bracelet has replaced it on her wrist and he takes her hand and asks where the ring is and where the bracelet came from? she wiggles her fingers and says, “i guess i forgot to put it on this morning. bracelet is new.” he pushes it out of his mind, tries to ignore the fact that she’d had only forgotten it a single day since their mother gifted it to her. she’d had a panic attack the one time she almost did leave it at home, and they nearly missed their flight turning around to get it. if she had forgotten it this morning, why wasn’t she freaking out?

lando would see it dangling around oscar’s neck as soon as he arrives at the track and they greet each other. he remembers seeing it on her finger every race weekend when he was carlos’s teammate, so he clocks it instantly and pulls him aside. “you didn’t? there’s no way-“ and oscar immediately knows what he’s talking about and lifts it up to show it off like a trophy, “it was too small for my fingers.” and lando’s kind of jealous because he may or may not have tried asking her out once or twice. but that fades as soon as he realizes carlos is going to notice immediately too. he’s extremely protective over her because their dad was never always off racing and he’s a few years older than her, she’s like oscar’s age or a year younger maybe?? idk she’s just baby and carlos will protect her until he dies. he’s vetting every boyfriend; running background checks and hiring private investigators to find their ex girlfriends and interview them before they get his approval to date his little sister.

carlos noticed it hours later, when oscar, lando, and him are in a press conference together. lando keeps laughing out of nowhere and carlos keeps asking what he’s laughing at, which makes him laugh more. they almost make it to the end without him noticing it. oscar gets asked a question and he drops the pendant he’s been sucking on from between his lips. carlos had noticed the imprint of something under his shirt earlier and out of the corner of his eye saw him pull it out of his shirt and then put it in his mouth. immediately carlos recognizes it and knows exactly why his sister wasn’t wearing her ring when he saw her that morning. he thought it was weird when oscar suddenly put the pendant between his lips, but he realizes oscar had done it so he would see it. lando notices his shocked stare and bursts out laughing again. oscar’s smirking while answering the question about the upcoming race. carlos is holding himself back from pummeling oscar on camera, and as soon as they’re saying the conference is over, lando’s standing up and blocking him as he tries to launch himself at oscar.

everyone is so confused about what’s going on, but lando and oscar are laughing while carlos hurls threats and insults, and lando holds him back. unfortunately the cameras are still rolling and catch carlos saying oscar defiled his baby sister. somehow oscar gets out of the conference room and is whisked away by his team to ask him what is going on and what carlos is talking about? and he just can’t stop grinning because he got exactly the reaction he was looking for.

carlos finding his sister and dragging her away to his drivers room and asking her why? why him of all people. she knows anyone on the grid would bow down before her if she asked. so why did she fuck the one man he hates? and she’s like “oh my god don’t say fuck. it’s not like that.” and he asks, “what’s it like then? why do you think he did this? do you think it was anything more than a fuck to him?” and that makes her so sad, she starts tearing up and backing away from him because he’s never said anything like that to her before. she’s regretting everything and doubting everything oscar’s said to her the entire season, how perfect and kind he’s been, all the nights she laid in bed thinking about how maybe she could bring them together. her and lando could work together and make them get along. but all that is crushed hearing carlos’s words. he immediately regrets them of course, he still thinks they are true but wishes he never said them to her. he tries to grab her but she’s already out of his drivers room and when he follows her, she’s already gone.

he’d search until someone finally says they saw her leave with oscar and he’s even angrier because his words pushed her right into his arms, where he didn’t want her. he just texts his manager that he’s leaving and wonders what excuse oscar gave to get out of his media duties. he’s calling her the entire ride back to his hotel, and then he gets there and remembers that the mclaren drivers are in a different hotel and that’s definitely where they went. he has no clue where she is, probably for the first time ever. he goes to the hotel bar and has a drink as he spams her with calls until they stop going through. he calls lando but lando won’t tell him anything, apparently oscar and his sister swore him to secrecy when they left and she was sobbing and begged him not to tell her brother.

oscar wouldn’t know what to do when she shows up in his drivers room crying but he knows carlos has to be near and he doesn’t fancy getting his ass beat so he books it. lando covers for him after seeing the state she’s in. oscar’s got three sisters so he knows how to console a crying woman, he stops at a store and leaves her in the car to fetch chocolates and flowers and whatever else he sees that she might like before he takes her back to his hotel room. she cries for an hour before he finds out what’s wrong. she’s cried all her tears away and has gone through a box of tissues before she finally tells him what carlos said and how his words hurt her but it’s the thought that oscar would use her like that, make her fall for him just to get under carlos’s skin. she tells him that she knows he wouldn’t do that, that while he acts all cold and reserved with everyone else he’s completely different when they’re alone, and she know’s that’s the real him. then she’s cupping his cheeks and he’s thinking about how pretty she looks after crying, and she’s asking him to promise her he wasn’t lying to her like carlos said. and he actually feels something, he doesn’t know what the unfamiliar tug in his stomach is, guilt? pain? love? he tells himself it’s not the last one as he promises her that he wasn’t lying and wraps her up in his arms and tells her to go to bed, because he’s not going anywhere. the kiss he presses to the crown of her head makes her trust his words, no matter how untrue the first half is.

#ask #🌷 anon #oscar piastri smut #op81 #idk what to tag this as #tag later #op81/cs16 sister au

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