#in 2024? thought your brain grew in by now

[aloesarchives]

Popular Boy (JJK One-Shot)

TW/Warnings: Fem Reader and She/Her pronouns, Angst with Fluff ending, Profanity, Smoking from Shoko and Suguru, Highkey Miscommunication Trope, Cheesy cliches, this one-shot being way too long than it's supposed to be, a little OOC Satoru and Suguru

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem! Reader

AU: Modern/High School AU!

Pronouns: She/Her(any gal could read this, but Reader is slightly coded to be introverted, good at drawing and crafts, and a nerd)

Word Count: 10.2k words

Summary: You weren't supposed to fall in love with your best friend Satoru Gojo. But you did anyway. It doesn't help that he is the most popular guy in your school.

(A/N): This is my longest one-shot to date. I went off the rails and wrote this out of this idea and brain dump I had. Un top of being sick, I didn't post for like 2 weeks because I was working on this and having little motivation. But I'm back!

[!!!Unedited and not proofread!!! 1/24/2024 4:27pm CST]

Having a crush on your best friend is the absolute worst. You promised yourself you wouldn’t. But after reviewing your symptoms, you concluded that you are, indeed, in love with your best friend, Satoru Gojo. It's too bad he’s the most popular guy in the school. Suguru is second to him but doesn’t bask in the attention like his friend does.

It all started when you became friends with them in your first year of high school. Shoko was in your class, and you two became best friends instantly. You’d usually eat alone somewhere during break or lunch because the cafeteria was always rowdy, making it overstimulating. One day, your usual spot was taken over. Though it bummed you out your little spot was discovered, it wasn’t yours in the first place, so you went on a search for a new one. After a few minutes of searching, you spotted Shoko smoking in a hidden spot behind the school. She hears you from how your feet crunch on the dirt and asks you to join her. Though you didn’t smoke, you stayed with her. After talking briefly, Shoko asked if you were free after school, taking a long drag out of her cigarette.

You never stayed too long after school, only for your respective clubs, but that’s it. You also had no friends, so maybe this is your chance to get closer to Shoko. Upon agreeing, she smiles before taking her last drag out and extinguishing her smoke in a nearby ashtray. As the two of you returned to class, she told you that her other two friends were coming. Hinting that they were quite the handful. Your expression lightens upon hearing the two new people joining your hangout with Shoko. Perhaps this could be what you needed to step outside of your comfort zone to have a social experience like everyone else your age.

 After getting off the train with Shoko, she pulled you along the busy crowd and met the two boys at the subway station entrance. You didn’t, however, expect Shoko’s mystery friends to be Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto—the most well-known boys in the entire school and possibly the whole district. Shoko was making your introduction to them as you grew shy under their gaze. Nervous was an understatement; anxiety was brewing in you like rain clouds forming a storm. What if they scoff at you? Mock you? Purposely pick on you for fun? Each thought raced against each other across your mind that you didn’t notice Satoru placing his hand on your shoulder. It snapped you back to reality as you looked up to avoid being rude.

 You’ve heard the rumors and the hushed whispers from every corner of the school about how Satoru Gojo was among the most good-looking guys. How he had blue eyes that matched the sky and hair like snow. You only caught glimpses of him throughout the campus but never saw him up close. But now that you are, you can confirm it for yourself. To you, he looked more ethereal, if anything. His blue eyes were like the endless cerulean sky above, his white hair lightly tousled in the wind; he was beautiful to you.

“Hey, you don’t have to stiffen up around me. I don’t want you to go all shy on me (Y/N). Satoru Gojo, at your service~.”

Extend his hand to shake yours; you return the gesture, albeit clumsily. Satoru chuckles before he unexpectedly brings your hand to his lips. He kissed your fingers ever so gently, feather-like almost. Your body most certainly would have erupted in a blaze by his actions. But it didn’t; you were more caught off-guard. You wondered if he did this to every girl he came across. He just smiled afterward but gets bonked on the head by Suguru, who went to introduce himself to you.

“Satoru, you’re going to scare her off. Sorry (Y/N), he’s always like that. I’m Suguru Geto, and I hope you’re not uncomfortable because of him.”

You quickly dismissed it, trying to ease Suguru’s concerns. After hanging out with them, you knew you found people you would call friends. You never had that much fun until you hung out with them. Going to arcades, eating out together, and wandering the city of Tokyo filled you with non-replicable happiness. After that hangout, the rest was history. Since then, you have always hung out with Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko. You all stuck together like glue every time possible. You never guessed their popularity rubbed off as well. You became known on campus as a well-known upperclassman and now a senior. 

But you noticed you spent more time with Satoru than with Shoko or Suguru. You could credit it to his goofy, childish personality that matched your vibe even more. He loved discussing Digimon and was happy you shared the same interest. You two would indulge in each other’s interests and hobbies. It became more evident that both of you had grown closer from when Shoko adopted you into their group. Yet, you told yourself time and time again not to fall for Satoru. In fear of losing what you have with each other because you caught “feelings.” In addition, Satoru had many, many, MANY admirers—girls across the school, district, and the Tokyo Metropolitan area. Many come from prominent backgrounds, blessed with being gifted, or simply beautiful in every way. While you didn’t mean to self-sabotage yourself, you were beautiful and brilliant in your own right; you were being realistic. How could someone like Satoru Gojo, from a wealthy and prominent family for centuries, go for someone like you? It was wishful thinking at that point, but it was stretching itself thin even then.

Anyhow, this brings you to the present. It’s December 1st, six days before Satoru’s birthday. You were in your dorm, conjuring up what to get him. It was more complicated than because the man was loaded. He had the money to buy anything and everything he wanted. So what can you get for him that wasn’t already bought? After some time, you had the genius idea to make something for him. You decided on making a bracelet and a framed sketch of him from one of your sketchbooks you occasionally draw in.

While working on your gifts, you were on the receiving end of teasing from Suguru and Shoko, specifically from Suguru. I mean, he was the first one to catch on to your feelings for his friend. Shoko had her suspicions but never mentioned them in case she was delusional. But once Suguru brought it up, she instantly joined in the teasing. It was harmless fun, yet you couldn’t help but rethink your crush on Satoru. Your feelings for him shouldn’t exist, yet you can’t help it. You felt alive, but most of all, you felt comfortable and safe with Satoru. You never hid your lovely personality or felt ashamed of your interests. Satoru was always supportive and was a part of your shenanigans too. As cheesy as it was to admit, it felt like you’ve found your soulmate, your other half. You always relished your moments with Satoru, no matter how short or dumb they were. Sure, you loved your moments with the gang, but it hits differently when it’s only Satoru and you. It was as if your life changed when he came into it. 

During the day before Satoru’s birthday, Shoko and Suguru hunched over your desk as you finished the page you were doodling. The smears from the graphite and erased pencil markings showed the fine details to capture Satoru’s features. 

“Wow, those look exactly like him. If he were animated, he'd be drawn like this. May I, (Y/N)?” Suguru asked.

You nodded, and Suguru picked up the sketchbook to inspect the page further. Shoko peered over his shoulder to also get a look.

“I think Gojo would love this. Don’t you think so, Suguru?”

“I would think so too, Shoko. It’s a well-thought-out gift (Y/N). Satoru would love it.”

“Wait, (Y/N)! Show Suguru what else you made him!”

Suguru raises a brow at the brunette as you pull up a photo on your phone to show to Suguru. Suguru squinted his eyes a bit to see the picture a bit more clearly.

“You made that bracelet for Satoru? It’s pretty nice. Where’s our (Y/N)?”

“I have them back in my room, Suguru! I just. . . You know. . .”

“So you’re implying we’re not as special as your beloved Blue Eyes White Dragon?”

“SHOKO, you’re not helping!!! OfcourseImadeitmorespecialforhimbecausehereallylikesdigimonandhisbirthdayiscomingup–”

“(Y/N)! I was just joking! Geez, calm down before you pop a blood vessel.”

As you catch yourself from any further rambling, you are about to explain the bracelet to Suguru before Satoru slides the classroom door open. You think it’s him but can’t tell through the mountain of gifts and bags in his arms. But seeing a wisp of his white hair gave you all the more reason that it was Satoru. Satoru plops the pile on his desk as his arms cave in, some gifts falling off the edge and onto the floor. One fell near your desk, so you picked it up and placed it back on his desk.

“Is it Valentine’s Day? What’s with the gifts, Satoru?”

“*sighs* These are from numerous girls all over the school from varying grades. My birthday is tomorrow, so I guess I'll get the early gifts. Though, I don’t know how to return all this to my dorm. You guys wanna help me open them up back in my room?”

You all replied yes and helped Satoru with his pile of gifts. As you put on your sketchbook, you felt a breath tickle your ear.

“Hey, whatcha drawing, (Y/N)? Drawing (favorite Digimon/Pokemon) again? Let me see!”

You caught a whiff of his surprisingly minty, fresh breath. Usually, it comes in hot with the number of sweets he’s been eating, so this was a pleasant surprise to you.

“I’ll show you later when we open your gifts in your room, ‘Toru. You gotta be patient.”

You chided while swatting his all too-close face away from you. Little did you know, a sickly sweet smile flashed on his face upon hearing his nickname. Once the last bell rang, you four headed straight for Satoru’s dorm to open all the gifts he received from the day. Once dumping them into a pile, you each read the note attached to the gifts and opened them up. Some were cool, homemade gifts, others were basic and generic. Most were sweets or baked goods since he is widely known to have a sweet tooth. You all were open and chatty when Suguru grabbed a neatly wrapped velvet box.

“Hey, Satoru, isn’t this from your ex?”

“Which one?”

“Don’t know, let me see the tag. . . From Satomi. . .”

“Oh, her! Let me see, Suguru!”

You cringed hard hearing Satoru talk about his numerous “girlfriends.” As much as you didn’t want to say it, Satoru’s playboy attitude was your least favorite thing about him. All the girls he saw shared one common trait: they never stayed too long with him. Satoru would cycle through many girls every few weeks to maybe a month. He never bothered to introduce them into the friend group, let alone bring them to your shared hangouts. Now that you think about it, he never talks about them when you or the others are present. He never calls them his girlfriends or partners, just sugar-coated words and nicknames meant to sweeten a non-existent fruit that never grew in the first place. You wondered if he would treat you the same if you dated him. But you were thinking too deeply, FOCUS GIRL!!! It’s now or never. Well, not really, but you have the perfect chance to give Satoru his birthday gift! You can make it work for just the two of you! Find him by himself, steal him away to deliver your gift, and possibly confess. 

Satoru's birthday gifts from his fans dwindled to only small boxes and clear bags. Shoko and Suguru categorized his gifts as apparel, food, trinkets, etc., while Satoru plopped beside you. You were munching away at some candy, deciding to take a break from opening the cookie cutter-esk presents as your vision became spotty. It was silent for a moment, only the sounds of your other two friends' voices bickering about which pile a gift should go. Satoru shifts his attention towards you, mindlessly popping the candy into your mouth before dramatically yawning, spreading his limbs across his bed. His legs would stretch over your lap. You popped the last candy before throwing the empty bag at him.

“What’s wrong, Satoru? You've grown tired of your gifts or what?”

“That and feeling sore from sitting on the floor. . . Hey! Will you show me your drawing from earlier (Y/N)?”

“Uh. . . I dunno, Satoru–”

“Pleaseeeeeeee?! I promise I won’t crease the pages like last time! Come on (Y/N)!”

Satoru juts out his lip and gives his puppy eyes with praying hands. You glance at Suguru and Shoko, who snickered at your little predicament. You sighed deeply and pulled out your sketchbook for him to see. He was giving you his full attention, asking questions, and complimenting the fine details of your latest creation. You two were smiling and giggling along as you turned the pages. However, you were getting nervous because you didn’t want Satoru to see his page. You hoped he got bored or distracted so you didn’t have to flip through more from your book. Suguru has a sixth sense because he called Satoru’s attention before you flipped to the next page, which would’ve been his. 

“Okay, man, we sorted your gifts into these four separate piles, which one should be obvious. . . Look at the time; it’s almost curfew for the girls. I’ll walk them to their dorms, Satoru.”

Before Satoru could protest and tag along, Suguru snatched you and Shoko away and out of the dorm. Satoru stood up perplexed, before shrugging it off and storing his gifts away. Suguru dragged you two to the skywalk and looked dead into your eyes, startling you from his sudden closeness.

“You have to do it tomorrow, (Y/N).”

“Uh, do what, Suguru?”

Shoko and Suguru gave each other a face before looking back at you.

“You gotta confess to Satoru, (Y/N). Do it tomorrow when you give him your gift on his birthday. And before you ask, we knew about your feelings for him way before. It’s painfully obvious, (Y/N).”

Shoko just nods her head in agreement. You knew Suguru had a point; it’s now or never. But you didn’t want to make things awkward for Satoru, let alone pressure him to say yes because he feels terrible for rejecting. Overthinking started kicking into high gear, and you started thinking about every possible scenario Satoru could react to. None of them were of him reciprocating your feelings. Unfortunately, Suguru had to say the dread words no one wants to hear when trying to confess to their crush.

“The worst thing he could say is no, (Y/N).”

Shoko elbows him while you wince at his words. You knew he meant to comfort you, but it didn’t help ease your nerves. Suguru, observant as ever, picked up on it, and from Shoko’s reaction, he knew his words were a miss.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll come with you for support, so it won’t be as stressful going alone.”

Suguru gives you a comforting smile, and you give on in return. Shoko said she couldn’t come because she volunteered to tutor some underclassmen for some Visa gift cards. So she says good luck to you before walking across the skyway and into the building of the girls' dormitory. You gained some confidence and bid Suguru goodnight to finalize your gifts. You framed Satoru’s page in a sleek dark blue frame and knotted Satoru’s bracelet. The marble beads of the bracelet were white, cerulean blue, and black. Complementing each with a small interchange charm in the middle where an Agumon charm dangled freely. You wrapped up both gifts and placed them in a mildly used paper bag you had from when you went shopping.

As the next day rolled in, you were surprisingly giddy to give your gift. You just had to catch Satoru alone and give yourself a good ten minutes to slip in your confession. The problem was you hadn’t seen Satoru at all. Sure, today was a half-day, but Satoru was barely in class. When he was, though, he was flooded by many girls telling him happy birthday or giving more gifts. Since it was a Friday, Satoru didn’t do much after school and would wander Tokyo for the remainder of the day. You knew you were losing time, so doing it right after school was best.

Once the last bell rang, you packed your bag and held your present tightly to find Satoru. However, he was gone from his seat when you looked at his desk. While you tried to find him, Suguru texted you. He said he saw Satoru go behind the school. He also said he would wait for you at the front gate to hear about your results. As you go to the back, you are smiling so hard that it would make your teeth rot. But as you got closer, your sweet smile instantly dropped when you heard a girl’s voice and another voice you made out to be Satoru’s. Your heartbeat repeatedly drummed in your ears as you hid yourself to not be noticed. Trying to even out your breath, you slowly peek your head in a slow, agonizing manner to get a better look. Unfortunately, your curiosity kills your heart as it confirms your worst fear.

Satoru stood smiling, and another girl giggled like a classic school girl in a high-school rom-com movie. You recognized her as she was in the same grade but from a different class. You’ve seen her around but never been a part of Satoru’s unofficial fan club. Yet you could never have guessed she liked him too. You knew you should look away, already seeing what was needed. But the naive sliver of hope forced you to continue watching, hoping it was a delusion your mind conjured up. Although you couldn’t hear what they were saying, you knew the other girl beat you to him as she held Satoru’s hand and smiled up at him. Satoru places a hand on her cheek and probably says something you can make out ‘I love you' before dipping his head to meet hers. A chill washes over your body as your grip on Satoru’s present stiffens, further crimping the paper bag. Shakily, you pulled out your phone and took a picture before turning on your heels and going anywhere but here.

Suguru was ever so patiently waiting on the outcome. He was blissfully smiling. Hoping all is going well and in your favor. He was distracted by his phone when he recognized the sound of your footsteps. He pockets it as he sees your figure walk towards the gates. He cheerfully called out for you but was met with silence. When you walked past him, your head hung low; Suguru knew something was wrong. Concerned, he quickly went after you while calling for you. When nothing works, he steps in front of you to hold your shoulders still to prevent any more movement. Shaking your shoulders, he firmly asks what’s wrong.

A wretched look contorted on his face when he saw your face. Your eyes are shiny from glossy tears on the verge of overflowing from the edges. Lips in a tight quiver, trying to not let a sob escape from within the depths of your hurt soul. You were trying your best to stay together, but Suguru saw you were hanging on by a thread. He gives you a comforting, tight hug as you begin to cry into him. Letting it all out and providing comforting pats on your back. As you start to calm down, Suguru gently takes you to a nearby cafe where some of your group hangouts and study sessions happen. Considering your current state, he keeps you from paying for your drink. Once he got them and sat down, you told him what you saw that caused this. Suguru chokes on his drink in disbelief upon hearing about Satoru’s doings.

“He what?! Are you sure, (Y/N)?”

You nodded as you pulled up the picture on your phone to show Suguru. His eyes widen even further as he stares at the picture. Returning back your phone, he takes a big sip of his drink.

“So, what are you going with your gift then, (Y/N)? Are you still going to give it to Satoru?”

“I... I. . . Don’t know, Suguru. . . I did make it for him, but I don’t think he’ll care.”

“What makes you think he wouldn’t, (Y/N)?”

“You know what I mean, Suguru. Satoru doesn’t really hold onto any gifts he gets. Unless it’s sweets or something he thinks is cool, he’ll donate, give, or throw it away. My present would collect dust in his room and be forgotten. We literally sorted out his fan mail yesterday.”

You glance over at your initial present for Satoru. The bag has deep creases and wrinkles from death gripping it in your disassociated state. You delicately bring it to your lap, blankly staring at the two dedicated gifts inside. Sighing in defeat, you slowly fold the top of the bag before setting it back in its previous place. You gave Suguru a tired smile, saying how wishful thinking blinded you from reality. Suguru couldn’t help but feel pity. It hurts him to see you like this and blame yourself for dreaming about something he knew would become a reality. But he was thrown in for a loop because he was sure his best friend was hopelessly in love with you. The glances, the consistency of bringing up your name, the extra care he gave when it came to you, IT WAS ALL RIGHT THERE! Was Satoru leading everyone on, you included? Suguru was going to get to the bottom of this. He escorts you back and asks Shoko to stay with you until nighttime. 

After filling Shoko in, you looked at the crippled bag sitting alone on the floor. Taunting, making a mockery of you, and constantly reminding you how you really let your feelings get out of hand to let you believe a fantasy. How foolish you are, little stupid fool you were, you think. Getting off your bed, you go over to the bane that reminds you of your naivete as a hopeless romantic. You were tempted to throw the whole bag away; consider burning it all.

Despite thinking of wiping the existence of those gifts from this world, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. They were drawings of Satoru and a handmade bracelet with his favorite Digimon, and you were proud of how they turned out. The time and dedication you put into it really showed how much this man had a chokehold on your life no matter what. Crush, friend, it didn’t matter. He really changed your life; you would be forever grateful for that. Even if that meant you always stayed friends. It was a better fate than being strangers altogether. So you decide to store the bag in an empty drawer for miscellaneous items, not wanting to see it anymore. Shoko was surprised by your actions. Though she would understand you destroying them, she didn’t expect you to keep your gifts. You just shrugged, saying destroying it wouldn’t do you any good. No amount of satisfaction or fulfillment would come from it. Shoko just gives you a hug as you lean into it.

Ever since that day, you slowly stopped talking to Satoru. He didn’t notice it because you would make excuses or leave immediately before he could catch up. He thought you were busy with homework and school. It was brought to his attention when you wouldn’t hang out with him. Whenever he texted you to hang out, you would say you were busy or not feeling good. It got worse when you didn’t attend your group hangouts with Suguru and Shoko. It was always the four of you. Without you, it felt incomplete, and Satoru started to miss you and the vibe you brought. Even when he asked Suguru or Shoko where you were, they would give the same answer you did. And it was starting to frustrate him. Did he say or do something to distance yourself from him? Did he accidentally hurt without realizing it? Why did you suddenly not want to talk to him anymore? He sees you talking to your other friends and classmates without a care in the world. Your lovely lips always curled upwards, and how your cheeks and eyes molded to highlight your face, you were absolute divinity in his eyes. Had you always looked so beautiful to him? Yes, but he didn’t realize that until now since his only way of looking at you is from a distance. 

Every time he would try to make his way over to you, you gave a quick side glance in his direction before wrapping up any conversation and leaving. This honestly began to hurt Satoru. He had never dealt something like this with anyone else. Maybe when he had severe fights with Suguru, but they would make up in the end since he knew it was mostly his fault. But this is different because he was in the dark of your avoidance. It was like he was the bubonic plague, and you were straight-up social distancing yourself from him. It didn’t matter when or where; as soon as he entered within a 12-foot radius, you were going in the other direction. This had been going on for almost two weeks! It was now the 21st, the last school day before winter break. Nothing significant was happening today besides the classic winter break assembly. He needed to talk to you so you two could somehow talk it out and make it. It’s ironic how oblivious he was to the circumstances he was in. The roles are now reversed because now he’s pining after you like you had been for him for the past few years. You usually would sit with them during these events, but since you’re distancing, you opted to sit with your peers. When you did sit with them, you would be the furthest away from Satoru. 

Satoru should’ve been paying attention to the assembly. But his only focus was you, who was on the other side of the gymnasium. You were sitting on opposite bleachers with one of your underclassmen, Riko Amanai. Satoru wished he could teleport himself to you, pick you up, and go to a quiet place to talk. But he knew he had to be patient to make his move, something Suguru had to remind him constantly. Once the assembly was over, Satoru by-lined to where you were. However, the sea of students eager to leave school is challenging, even for the 6’3 boy. He saw glimpses of you with Riko as you pulled her along and weaved through the crowd out of the school. The resistance he met trying to reach you became so aggravating he was shoving anyone who got in his way. It got to the point where students made room for him to pass through, fearing the wrath of Satoru Gojo in a bad mood.

Alas, once he exited the school, you had already gone off campus to who knows where with Riko and Kuroi, her caretaker. Satoru tightened his fists, and his face bore a scowl as you slipped away again. He would have punched the school’s concrete fence if Suguru didn’t pop up in front of him. Satoru was slightly calmed when he saw his friend, but a twinge of unease settled in when he saw Suguru’s strained smile. To a regular person, it seemed like a genuine smile. But Satoru knew Suguru enough to know when he gave these smiles. This one meant he was in deep trouble. Suguru said he needed to talk to Satoru about something over a bucket of KFC with one of the Visa gift cards Shoko gave them. Satoru followed it, knowing there was more to Suguru’s unidentified mood. However, Suguru just stops in front of the KFC, idly standing with his back to him. Seeing his standoffish behavior, Satoru becomes confused and finally breaks their tense silence.

“Look, Suguru, I know this isn’t the best time. But we need to talk about (Y/N).”

“What is there to talk about her, Satoru?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Suguru. You noticed how (Y/N) has barely been hanging out with us. Giving excuses to not hang out. I don’t understand why this happened so fast. Two weeks ago, (Y/N) was fine. She was laughing with us and being a part of our stupid antics. Then, after my birthday, she slowly stopped replying to my texts and avoided me altogether. Suguru, you got to know something. I don’t want to be left in the dark anymore. I need to know what I did to make her stop talking to me.”

Oh, Suguru knew the reason why you were doing this. You told him yourself. You admitted to Suguru you didn’t know how to act around Satoru anymore, in fear of spilling your confession and making a fool out of yourself. You knew how cowardly it was to do this. Not correctly communicating your emotions and actions to Satoru was self-sabotage, and your relationship with him would suffer severely. You tried to ride out your feelings to the best of your abilities. But you learned that those feelings for Satoru wouldn’t go away no matter what you did. So, you thought the best option was to slowly distance yourself from Satoru to heal your broken heart and save your dignity. Suguru was against this at first. But he let it slide since it was only Satoru and not him or Shoko.

What he didn’t let slide was how he saw his best friend paraded around his latest girlfriend. He knew that relationship wouldn’t last at all because there was one thing he knew about his best friend. Satoru Gojo is a lonely person. No amount of fan girls or guys dick-riding him would fill the void of loneliness Satoru faced in his life. He always was told that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was talented and good at anything and everything he did. But with that, people only saw him from afar, never really caring to realize Satoru was like anyone else besides his wealth. Suguru knew you made Satoru feel seen and let him dwell on his antics so he could be a teen, not some high, mighty God people were willing to kiss his feet. Satoru fell in love with you but doesn’t want to admit it. Seemingly taken you for granted. Suguru doesn’t blame you for trying to lose feelings for him. He would, too, if the person he liked gave mixed signals and had a cycle through partners like daily outfits even though they heavily implied to their best friend they wanted you but never cared to tell.

You would have made the first move. But with many rejections, some harsher than others, you decide to wait for the other person to say something first or drop an obvious hint. You aren’t going to drive through a red light, only green ones. You often hear the phrase, ‘Girls who make the first move on a guy get the relationship.’ That is a blatant lie and bullshit because it only works if the guy doesn’t care, the girl asking is conventionally pretty, or the guy already liked or was interested in the girl. You experienced so much rejection that you might as well give up on telling your feelings so as not to be seen as pathetic. You thought it would be different for Satoru because of your powerful chemistry together. But he sent many mixed signals, being flirtatious and teasing you, genuinely looking out for you simultaneously, all the while still never giving a break to dating and having a long line of girlfriends at his beak and call. It was too complicated for you. Then, with the incident, you knew you had no chance with him because it seemed he would never feel the same.

“Do you like (Y/N), Satoru?”

Satoru gave his best friend a bewildered look, his face recoiling.

“Yeah, of course, I like (Y/N), Suguru. What kind of question is that—”

“That’s not what I’m asking you, Satoru. Do you love (Y/N)? Yes or No, simple as that.”

“What are you trying to get at, Suguru?”

Suguru visibly groans at the Satoru’s density. This was annoying Suguru at this point.

“Satoru, be honest with yourself. Admit it, you’re in love with (Y/N). How you look out for her, care for her, and constantly bring her up in conversations every chance you get, the longing gaze you give her when she isn’t looking, always staring at her instead of anyone else in the room. The list goes on and on, Satoru. Stop denying it. Do you love her, or are you just saying that because you want to joke about someone’s feelings?”

Satoru’s voice was caught in his throat; he had his answer, but his body wasn’t giving him a chance to say it. It was like Suguru hitting the nail every time, making Satoru feel cornered. Suguru sighed frustratedly at the silence of his best friend, who usually would have his answers ready in the queue.

“So you never really loved (Y/N) then, Satoru.”

“What! No! I do love (Y/N), Suguru—”

“Then why the fuck do you still indulge in your playboy personality? You and I both know that won’t get you anywhere, Satoru. It’s doing you more damage than good, yet you continue feeding into it! Maybe if you gave a break from your causal flings, (Y/N) would have confessed to you, and the two of you would have been dating by now. God, You’re just a headache, Satoru…” Suguru doesn’t shout, but his sharp tone is on the edge of becoming angry.

Wait, what?

You were going to confess to him?

You like him too?

Satoru blinks owlishly while trying to process this mind-breaking information. You liked Satoru, so the feeling was mutual, right? Then why is Suguru getting mad at him for feeling the same way?

“Wait… Suguru...(Y/N) likes me too? Why didn’t she say anything in the first place? Why didn’t she tell me?”

“Because you already had a girlfriend, Satoru. (Y/N)’s not a home wrecker.”

“Yeah, okay. But I was single for two weeks! She knew that! Why didn’t she confess to me then?!”

“I don’t know, Satoru… Maybe because she was more focused on making your birthday gifts than her confession towards you. How much of her time was dedicated to making them? She was going to confess to you but decided not to.”

“When, Suguru?!”

“ . . .Your birthday. . . (Y/N) was going to give your gifts and confess on your birthday, but you decided to fuck yourself over.”

“ ‘Fuck myself over? What do you mean, Suguru?” Satoru said in a hushed but shocked whisper.

Suguru pulls out his phone, pulls up the picture you took, and shows it to Satoru. Satoru’s eyes widen like saucers, surprised by Suguru’s possession of a photograph that captured his private moment. He grabs Suguru’s phone to take a closer look before looking back up at him, face still bearing the same expression.

“Wait, that happened on my birthday. How did you take this? 

“I didn’t take it, Satoru. . .”

“Huh? Then who—”

Oh. . .Oh. . .

Oh no. . .

It all was starting to click for Satoru. Suguru looked unamused as he saw his friend’s gears moving in his head.

“Suguru, I—”

“So, do you love (Y/N), Satoru? Yes or no?”

Satoru stays silent with no motions to verbalize an answer.

“*sighs* Then tell me, Satoru. Do you love (Y/N) because she is beautiful? Or is she beautiful because you love her?”

Suguru left a defeated and devastated Satoru in the streets to be alone with his thoughts. In doing so, he hoped his friend would connect the dots himself. Satoru stood frozen in front of the KFC, finally understanding it. The distance, the consistent decline in hangouts, the short conversations, being ‘happy’ around others but never near him, how your smile droops at the mention of his name, and the solemn expression your eyes wore ever since his birthday all added up. It was all because of him. Sure, it’s both parties at play here.

On the other hand, your actions were just reactions to his own, especially when his loneliness caused him to become desperate in seeking out the attention of multiple girls he would ‘date.’ Consequently, it signaled he was looking for something casual with no strings attached, making you believe giving a confession would be useless to someone like him. But that’s far from the truth.

 He couldn’t believe he had done you dirty for so long. You were always in front of him, waiting for him this whole time. You were the one to give him warmth and fill in the void of loneliness that has plagued his soul for so long. But he never gave you a chance because he never cared to ask or consider it. He took you for granted because he knew you would always be there for him through everything and anything; you were his ride or die. Oh, how irresponsible of him that not truly appreciating your presence would lead to your eventual withdrawal.

Now he realized his love for you was real and profound as it was tiered above anything else. The way he flexed his bicep when you linked arms with him to stay close in big crowds, the stars your eyes have when talking about your favorite topic made him have this dumb love-sick look, or your smile that always filled him with love and joy when it’s directed at him, he still wanted to experience these things with you but as more as friends. And yet, he was on the verge of losing it all forever. Three years of friendship/pining would be wiped away in three weeks. All because he was scared to admit his fragile vulnerability behind his pompous attitude. He had to do something; he needed to. Or the only thing he will have of you is the memories you two created. Satoru booked it and ran through Tokyo for ideas on what to do. He didn’t care if he looked absurd. All that mattered to him was finding a way to mend things. The only thing on his mind was you.

Because he knew it was you.

It always has been you.

And he had to pull off miracles to save your relationship with him.

It was the next day; Satoru was carrying a big shopping bag around Tokyo, hoping to find you. After spending the rest of his afternoon and night finding some ideas, he made you what he dubs his ‘I’m sorry’ present, which was also your Christmas present. It contained a 15-inch plushie of (Your favorite Animal/Digimon/Pokemon/Character), a jacket you told him you wanted but was too expensive a while back, and (earrings/necklace/bracelets/rings/any sort of wearable jewelry) in your favorite color as you stared at it longingly when at the mall with the gang, Satoru always made a note of that.

Now, the hard part giving them to you in hopes of talking with him. It would have to be a  miracle to cross paths with you. Satoru couldn’t text you since you stopped responding to his attempts at communication. In a vast city being hectic in the upcoming days of the holidays, he needed all the luck he had just to spot you in the crowd. But even if he knew your schedule by heart, there was no sign of you in Tokyo. He could visit your home, but he assumes he’s an unwelcome guest since you lived with your (sibling(s)/guardian/parent(s)/loved one), and you confide in them frequently. As time never stops, he’s losing time. His precious time with you is slipping away, never to return. Both and forth, the wind chill nipped and whipped at his exposed skin. Satoru’s cheeks, nose, and knuckles were rosy as his body worked overtime to keep warm. The puffs from his mouth fogged up his glasses as he forced himself to continue searching just to have a chance to run into you.

Satoru is not religious, nor does he believe in a god. And yet, in those moments, Satoru started to pray. He was praying, begging, pleading for any divinity to hear his desperate cries to come across you. Just a chance, anything, he’ll do anything to see a wisp of (hair color) hair walking along the streets. His strides slowed; every step he took was heavy. Until they eventually came to a stop; his chest puffed in and out after wandering aimlessly along the bustling streets of Tokyo. He exhausted himself to the point that he was unaware he was in front of the school’s gates. He didn’t even notice the gates were wide open, and a familiar figure approached them along the adjacent side. His hands were on his knees, hunched over where a shadow loomed over him. Then he hears a voice so angelic and heavenly that he believes he was hallucinating at first.

“Satoru? Satoru, are you okay?”

Slowly, he lifts his head to meet your gaze, seeing you are bundled up well. You wear a slightly troubled face while holding an umbrella over his head. 

“What brings you here, Satoru? I thought you had stayed home today since it was forecasted to snow.”

Once pointed out, Satoru noticed white specks falling in front of him. He stands up at full length, making you adjust your umbrella's height on him. Though his signature grin is on his glossy lips, internally, he is screaming and celebrating that his prayers have been answered. After hours of aimlessly trying to find you throughout the city, you were finally in front of him in the most ironic place. He chuckles at your gesture before gingerly taking your umbrella and hovering it above you two.

“I was going to ask you the same thing, (Y/N).” He gives a warm smile at you.

“The school left the campus and dormitories open so students could grab their things to take home. I forgot some stuff at my dorm, so I came today to get them. Would you like to accompany me, Satoru?” You said, adjusting your empty canvas tote bag on your shoulders.

With no hesitation or thinking, Satoru immediately said yes. He smiled as he walked the two of you to your dorm.  But you couldn’t help but glance down at the big shopping bag he was holding. ‘It must be a Christmas present for his girlfriend… she is so lucky.’ you thought. Not a single peep came out of you two throughout the trip to your dorm, even with no words, tension building up in the air surrounding you. Neither one of you wanted to make the first move. It was childish to continue like this. There was no bad blood between the two of you at all. But you were persistent in embarrassing yourself in front of Satoru. Before all this, you were never afraid to have banter or say the most off-the-record stuff with Satoru. But it was different when it was unrequited thoughts and feelings, as you didn’t want to further humiliate your pathetic self. Once you got to your dorm, you said you wouldn’t take long. Closing your door, Satoru leans against the back of it. He watches silently as you diligently gather your needed items and place them inside your bag. Each item is packed into your bag, and he has less time to make his move. He knows he needs to say something because he sought after you for a reason. 

Likewise, you were in the same boat. You can feel the tension blanket your body as you retrieve your things. Avoid direct eye contact with Satoru for fear of breaking your facade and folding. While trying to focus on anything that wasn’t him, your eyes kept glancing at the massive bag beside Satoru’s feet. It was a decently sized bag spaced out from the items it contained. By the looks of it, you assumed Satoru went out splurging on his latest girlfriend for Christmas.

‘Wish that was me receiving that bag. . .’ You thought to yourself as you arranged the items to avoid ruining your bag.

Satoru snapped out of his trance when the sound of your shuffling stopped. Your head slightly hung low as you stared at the bag with flat palms. You sighed with your head shaking side to side. You decided to break the silence to ease the tense air in your room.

“I didn’t know you did last-minute shopping, Satoru. Guessing how full that bag is, it’s your Christmas present to your girlfriend. You love spoiling your girlfriends with endless money to burn. Keep doing that, and you’ll go broke, dude. . . Lucky her. . .” You slipped the last part out under your breath. Your smile dropped briefly before returning, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Satoru.

However, you remembered Satoru had excellent hearing. He could pick out of the faintest of whispers. When you realize that, you panicked and faced him. From how his brows were raised, you knew he definitely heard it. Your brain scrambled to find a way to cover the creaks in your walls from your slip-up, causing you to speak up. What you didn’t expect was Satoru doing the same.

“Sorry, Satoru, I didn’t mean that–”

“(Y/N), I need to–”

After catching each other’s words, you both abruptly stop to give space for the other to talk. Satoru gestures for you to go first. Gentleman as every. Feeling the anxiety and embarrassment weighing on you, you didn’t dare to look at him when talking, so your head focused back on your bag.

“Look, Satoru. . . I know how immature this is, but I want to apologize for the sudden change in my behavior and distance over the last few weeks. It was uncalled for, and you deserved a proper answer.–”

“No.”

“It’s because– huh?”

Prompting you to look up at Satoru, to which he had an unreadable expression. His glasses were blocking the creases of his eyes to indicate any of his emotions. A chill of uneasiness ran up your spine when you saw the serious look on Satoru’s face. He walks over to you with his hands in his pockets as he stares down, his expression unchanged.

“No, I need you to hear me out.”

Satoru cut off any chance for you to speak because he and you would be done if you did. He knew if he didn’t find you before Christmas Eve, what you two had would cease to exist. Once winter break ends and school resumes, he and you would be in two separate worlds. Ultimately becoming strangers who once knew each other. The thought of it made him nauseous and clammy to the core. You were the sun that shined in his endless cerulean sky. The moon and stars that gave illuminated his night sky. You gave light to the vast numbness he’d endured for all he could remember. You were the light he had been longing for years. And he was going to lose it all because he was a coward who didn’t have the balls to admit it and used dating as a coping mechanism to fill the hole in his heart.  So it’s now or never for him to be vulnerable to you because he feared this was his last chance.

“I know you didn’t mean to distance yourself from me at all. I know you still cared about me and didn’t want to push me away for fear of humiliating yourself. Being me, I didn’t notice at first that you were hurting until you uprooted yourself from my life, and it’s been god-awful without you. . . I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

The genuine sincerity in his eyes as they bore into yours. You noticed that. It came straight out of Satoru Gojo, not from the egotistical, pompous, popular senior, but from your best friend. So you decided to up your ears to what he has to say. When you gave him your undivided attention, Satoru knew this was it, so he spilled it out.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t really appreciated your presence. I took you for granted because I thought you would always be with me, with no chance of leaving me. That bit me in the ass once you slowly stopped being with me. But I know there’s more: the mixed signals I gave off, the playboy attitude, and the lack of self-awareness I had for myself. It was a way for me to not confront the crimpling loneliness and numbness I’ve been having. I indulge in my fangirls and causal relationships, hoping it would fix it. But it was just a temporary solution to a long-term problem. I saw the girls as a means to get my mind away from it, and the girls get to be with the famous Satoru Gojo. . . I’ve done this song and dance for so long that it was a part of my routine. . .”

“Oh, Toru. . .”

God, he missed that nickname you gave him. The way it rolls off your tongue in any tone, it’s seared into his memory and mind. When people, especially his ‘girlfriends,’ try to use that same nickname on him, it fills him with unexplainable rage. That name was for you to use on him, not them. They didn’t have a place in his heart like you do, so he always corrected them to minimize the usage of that nickname. But when you said it, it was soft and tender like the snow falling outside. He knew he was getting to you, and it was working. He relaxes as he closes his eyes, only to open them when your hand gently holds his cheek. Thumb swiping it in a comforting manner. You wanted to say something so Satoru didn’t have to do all the work. For him to admit, he took down all his walls so you could see all of him. To you, it was a privilege and honor to see such vulnerability coming from an individual who was charismatic and oozing with unspeakable rizz. So you continue to listen patiently to see what point your famous friend is making.

“But you disrupted the routine, (Y/N). . . When you came, it felt like I didn’t have to do that anymore. You made me feel free and alive. Allowing me to be my authentic self around our group or just the two of us. But most of all, you made me savor each moment I shared with Suguru, Shoko, and you. I always cherished what I had with them. I cherish what I have had with you over the time I’ve known you. I always did. Maybe that’s why the moon and stars shine brighter when I tell them about you. They know how brightly you shine in the endless sea of regular people. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to admit you already had my heart. . . And in doing so, I hurt you in ways I couldn’t have imagined. . . I am so sorry I had to make you wait so long, (Y/N).”

You hadn’t realized your tears were cascading down the curves of your cheeks. Was this really happening? Did Satoru just confess to you? You think this is all too good to be true, a scenario you conjured up to cope with hopeless romantic delusions. But his voice was full of raw fondness. His face had this lovesick expression, and his eyes bore sheer devotion as his tears were caught in his eyelashes. He really did feel the same way after all. He would’ve resumed pouring his heart and soul out if you hadn’t firmly pulled him into a tight hug.

Though caught off guard by the gesture, he warmly welcomed it as he returned the action. Tears wet his shirt as you clung to his chest. Satoru lightly kissed your head before cradling it like it was the most fragile thing in the universe. The once-thick tension disappeared, and a comforting warmth blanketed the two of you in its place. You two dared not to pull away, taking in the moment that has caused mental gymnastics for both of you. Eventually, someone had to pull away, and it would be you. You smiled so warmly at him with love-filled eyes. You wipe away Satoru’s tears that continue to fall and hit his glasses.

“. . . I love you too, Satoru. I should also apologize because I didn’t communicate my feelings to you. I was scared of how you would react to my confession. I didn’t want to lose what we had, nor did I want to pressure you into saying yes to spare me the heartache. I also didn’t know how to act when I was with you, and I feared I would look stupid. I shouldn’t have thought the only solution was to cut myself out of your life. Though these are my explanations, they don’t justify my excuses. Please forgive me, Satoru.”

“All is forgiven, Sweetheart. Will you forgive me, too?”

“Of course, Satoru. . .” 

Satoru starts to dip his head as you both smile at each other. You were going to let it happen, but a thought came across your mind as you softly stopped Satoru’s head. With a pout, Satoru would ask what was wrong before he was faced with a panicked look.

“Satoru! What about your girlfriend?!”

Satoru blankly stares at you before he starts to chuckle quietly. You were truly a kind person.

“Satoru! I’m being serious! Stop laughing!”

“Oh my dear, (Y/N). You truly have a kind and caring heart. I promise you I’m not cheating on her, nor are you homewrecking. She texted me she found someone else and ghosted me right after. I’m all yours, baby~.” 

Satoru waves his hand as he pulls out his phone to show you the proof, as you have always been skeptical of his words. Once you visibly relax, your gaze returns to the big shopping bag Satoru carried around. He already knew what you were going to ask and had an answer.

“Why don’t you take a look and open it yourself, (Y/N)? You did say the bag was my Christmas present for my girlfriend~.”

Your face heats up as Satoru retrieves your Christmas present. He holds it out, and you slowly take it from him. His grin becomes a soft smile at the reaction to the gifts in the bag. You squealed at the massively cute plushie as you gave it a happy squeeze. You gasped and were awed when you pulled out the jacket/sweater, gleefully trying it on.

“Give me a twirl, Love.” On command, you spin yourself so he can see how it captures your figure. Anything does look good on you in his eyes.

“I thought this was sold out, Toru! How did you get your hands on this?!”

“I have my ways. Now open your last gift.”

You go to open your last gift, and how your mouth was opened reassured Satoru that he was the best gift giver in the world. Fingers delicately hold up (favorite jewelry), observing the glow and reflection it gave off. It was gorgeous and unique as it had (favorite gemstone) being the main centerpiece. Only the best for you.

“Satoru, you still remember this?”

“Of course I did!”

“But that was over three months ago. . .”

“I know, (Y/N). But the way your eyes lingered on it when we went to the mall, I always noted it. Plus, I thought it suited you the best, so I had to buy it.”

“Oh, how sweet of you, Satoru. Thank you for the Christmas present. I really love them.” 

After returning your gifts to their bag, you walked to your dresser to fish something out. Satoru watches curiously as you pull out a crumpled paper bag. Satoru eyes widened as you handed the bag to him.

“ While they are Christmas gifts, they are technically your birthday gifts. I would’ve given them on your birthday but chickened out when I found out you had a girlfriend. So Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Satoru. They may not be as good as your gifts, but it’s something, right?”

You offer a smile as Satoru opens his gifts. You giggled at his extravagant reactions, praising and adoring his Agumon bracelet that he instantly wore on his wrist proudly. He pulls out the other gift and is shocked to see the drawings of him. The frame fits in his hands as he analyzes each sketch of himself. The detail and precision that went into each told Satoru you took the time and energy to draw him. But it also made him giddy as he looked extremely handsome and good-looking in each of the drawings. It caused him to blush when he realized this was how you see him through your eyes. As he was looking at your drawing page, he noticed the frame’s stand was attached to its sides.

Turning it around, he saw another drawing on the other side. But this sketch made Satoru’s heart beat out of his chest. The page contains only one illustration of two people walking with smiles. However, those two were him and you walking, smiling at each other, and holding each other’s hands. Satoru’s silence did concern you for a bit, but it was shattered when Satoru went in steadfastly to seal the gap between your lips. Your initial shock wore off before you let him reciprocate his kiss. You can feel his soft and smooth lips; he needs to give you his lip care routine. After parting, Satoru leans his head against yours, his arms not unraveling from you. 

“No, they are wonderful gifts. Thank you, (Y/N). I love them. . . and I love you.”

“I love you too, Satoru~.”

Basking in each other’s warmth, eliminating the cold and gloomy atmosphere from outside. As much as you wanted to stay together a little longer, the campus would close soon for the rest of the break, and you must leave quickly. You didn’t want to leave Satoru yet, so you tried to extend it as much as possible.

“Hey, Satoru? Can you walk me home? The forecast said the snow will pick up tonight, and I don’t want to go home alone.” 

Satoru gives his classic grin before kissing your forehead sweetly. 

“I would love to, Sweetheart. I’ll carry your bags while you can hold the umbrella.”

The snow continues to softly fall as the two of you walk along the bustling streets of Tokyo. Although the white puff clouds appeared every time someone spoke and the tips of Satoru’s face were bright red, Satoru never paid attention to the frigid temperatures. Even in this cold white winter, he can see that your bright aura always gave a comforting warmth he yearned for. Making you stand out amongst the sea of passersby, the bright neon lights of Tokyo, and the white dots that continue to cover the city.

The light that shines and gives light to his dull Cerulean sky. Satoru’s world wasn’t grey anymore as he had finally found his light, you.

Bonus:

—A few days later—

“You think they made up, Sugs?”

“Honestly, I hope they do. If not, we’re fucked, Shoko.”

It had been a few days since Shoko and Suguru had last heard from you and Satoru. Neither has responded to your texts as often as usual, making the two nervous. Then Suguru proposed a hangout before New Year's Eve. He didn’t add it in the group chat because he was unaware of the situation. Opting to ask you two individually instead. Even though you two responded, he was unsure if the storm between you two passed over or was still raging on. 

However, his initial worries would be meaningless soon enough. As Shoko and Suguru were taking a drag at the meet-up spot, they spotted two figures approaching them. Squinting their eyes to get a better look, they recognized that it was you and Satoru. Their eyes traveled down a bit to see both your hands intertwine. The love that came from Satoru’s smile and your eyes told them everything.

Though the two smiled and high-fived each other, Suguru grinned ear to ear, which earned a frustrated sigh from Shoko. She then reaches into her coat to fish out her wallet. 

“I guess I win, Shoko. Hand over that $25 Visa gift card, please?”

#x reader #jjk x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #gojo x reader #jujustu kaisen #shoko ieiri #satoru gojo #reader insert #fem reader #x female reader #jjk fluff #jjk angst #satoru x reader #jjk satoru #jjk x you #jjk #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #x y/n #reader x character #satoru x you #satoru x y/n #anime x reader #anime x y/n #anime x female reader #x reader oneshot

[pitchsidestories]

eras of us (1) II Ona Batlle x Reader

part 2 I masterlist I word count: 2981

a/n: inspired by this request, be warned it's a bit angsty but we promise it will have an happy ending in part 2. Your feedback is always appreciated.

2024

Barcelonas training had just ended and you were still breathing hard. Grabbing your water bottle, you already dreamed about taking a nice long shower and ordering some food. But you had not expected Alexia to appear in front of you, right before you wanted to leave the pitch.

Her arms were crossed in front of her chest: “Y/n, can we talk for a second?“

The seriousness in her face made you stall for a second, replaying every scene from training and searching for a mistake you made: “Yes, sure…“

She motioned for you to follow her away from the rest of the squad: “Come with me.“

“Uhm okay?“, you replied slowly, your heart beating almost as fast as it did when you were chasing after the ball.

You finally stopped on the opposite end of the field. Alexia turned towards you: “You and Ona…“

“Yeah? Did we annoy you during training?“, you grinned, all the tension immediately gone when you heard your best friends name.

The corners of Alexias mouth quirked up: “Yeah, by acting like you don’t fancy each other.“

“Excuse me, what?! We don’t fancy each other. We’ve been close friends forever.“, you explained. The smile had died on your face and was now replaced by furrowed eyebrows.

The team captain shrugged unimpressed: “Sure, keep telling yourself that.“

You shook your head as you continued: “That’s why I’d never go for her, she’s one of my best friends.“

You immediately knew something was wrong when Alexia did no reply. When you turned around, you only saw Ona running away towards the dressing room. Your warm up shirt was laying on the grass.

Your brain needed the moment but eventually made the connection. She obviously wanted to bring you the shirt and must have heard you. You cursed under your breath: “Shit.“

“I told you.“, Alexia said plainly.

Your thoughts were racing: “What?“

She shook her head with a sigh and pointed in the direction of where Ona had disappeared: “Just go after her!“

2011

They say beginnings are always the hardest. And at twelve years old, you had to agree.

Setting your first steps into Barcelonas youth academy La Masia had felt like the end of everything you knew so far. You were riddled with anxiety and awe, walking through the halls towards your new room. You could barely grasp that you were finally here but at the same time you started to ask yourself if you even wanted to be here at all.

You stopped in front of an inconspicuous looking door. Only the number on the front told you that this was the room that you would call your home from now on. You took a deep breath and knocked.

A short girl with reddish brown hair opened the door with a wide grin. Her face was covered in freckles. “Y/n, right? Hi, I’m Ona. We’ll be roommates.“

There was a warmth radiating off of her that immediately made you feel a lot calmer. With your suitcase still in hand, you smiled: “Hello, nice to meet you, Ona.“

“If you want, you can leave your stuff here and I’ll show you everything.”

You were eager to get to know the place which would be your home for the next years. Gratefully you took Ona’s offer:” Yes, let’s go.”

It turned out that your roommate was the perfect guide, she seemed to know where everything was and had a charming way to introduce you to this new place and people.

Still the vastness of the grounds was intimidating to you as the girl who grew up far away from the Catalonian capital in a village with a small population:” Wow, this is huge.”

“It’s quite cool, right?”, Ona beamed at you.

You nodded in agreement while taking a closer look at the pictures on the wall from footballers like Messi, Iniesta and Xavi who have started here where you were now:” It’s especially when one thinks about the people who came here before us.”

Before the visual history could put too much weight on your shoulders the other girl quickly changed the topic:”Do you have your schedule, already?”

“Yes, I do. Do we have things together?”, you curiously asked her before showing her the printed schedule you got at your arrival.

Happily, Ona observed: “Looks like we have a lot of classes together. And training of course.”

“Of course, what’s your position?”

“I play defense. Mostly left back.”, your roommate replied with a grin. You could immediately tell that she enjoyed what she was playing which was much to your surprise most players in your previous team didn’t like to be a defender or a goalkeeper.

“That’s cool. I usually play right back.”, you told her in an excited tone.

The brunette beamed at you:” Oh, that’s perfect.”

“Do you think they thought about that when they assigned us to be roommates?”, you thought out loud.

The fellow defender answered thoughtfully:” Possibly. They always try to put people together that might be compatible.”

“Can’t wait for the first training.”, you confessed.

“You’ll like it. The girls are really nice.”, Ona promised you with a warm smile on your lips.

Thinking about your own football history you admitted to her:” It’s my first time playing with an only girls’ team.”

“You played with boys before?”, she lifted an eyebrow in surprise.

“Yes, you didn’t think that, huh?”, you gave her a challenging look, knowing full well how you must look in your eyes with your long ponytail which was held together by a bow.

Quickly Ona waved it off:” I was just surprised.”

“Because I look too girly to kick a ball around with boys?”, you teased her.

“I didn’t say anything about that.”, she protested laughing.

“Yes, okay, you didn��t.” When you discovered a ball close to your feet, you picked it up glancing expectantly at your roommate:” Do you want to play for a bit now instead of just talking about football?”

Your first days in La Masia were filled with football and classes. All these new impressions and the tight schedule left you with little time to catch your breath. Only at night, your thoughts started racing and the heavy feeling in your chest became unbearable.

Lying awake in the dark of your room, you could not stop the tears from falling. You quietly sobbed into your pillow when you felt a weight pushing down the mattress next to you. A small hand started stroking your hair while you held your breath.

“Hey… are you okay? What’s wrong?“, Onas voice whispered close to your ear.

You quickly wiped away the tears: “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up…“

“It’s okay. I wasn’t asleep yet anyway.“, she replied softly.

“I just miss home, my family, friends and team… They live so far from here.“, you tried to explain but the tears welled up in your eyes again.

Ona laid down next to you, pulling you close to her for a short hug: “I understand that, trust me. The first few weeks here are always hard.“

“But it gets better?“, you asked with slight hopefulness.

“It will. I promise.“, Ona nodded.

For a moment, you both wordlessly stared into the darkness, existing in each others space.

“The coaches are really tough but you were right, the girls are really nice.“, you said into the silence.

You could hear the soft smile in Onas voice when she replied: “They are. Trust me, the coaches only want the best for you. You will get used to everything.“

“What if I’m not good enough?“ When your question was met with a chuckle, you gently hit Ona on her upper arm: “Hey, don’t laugh about it.“

“I saw you play. You belong here.“, your roommate grinned.

The heavy feeling started to lift with Ona by your side. You finally had to smile now too: “If you say so.“

Ona shrugged: “Fine, don’t believe me. But I know it’s true.“

“Thank you for listening to me.“

“Do you think you can sleep now?“, Ona yawned.

“Yes, good night, Ona.“, you mumbled before the increasing drowsiness let you fall asleep with your head on Onas shoulder.

2015

You and Ona trusted each other blindly. You had become best friends over the years which made for an incredible partnership on the pitch. With one of you on each side of the defense line, you were stable parts of Barcelonas youth team. You had a league game against Levante and it was half time when Aitana came to you: “I’m jealous of Ona and you.“

“You’re jealous, Tana? You don’t need to be, you’re one of our best.“, you laughed and pulled the shorter girl into a hug.

The midfielder shook her head: “But you have such an understanding of each other. You always know who’s going to attack and who needs to hang back without talking. I love that.“

“I wish I was a part of that.”, Laia sighed.

Smiling Aitana stated:” You kind of are, Laia.”

“Laia, you’re equally as important in our line of defense.”, you reassured her.

“Yes, we need you.”,  Ona padded your teammates thigh who’s face lit up after all those kind words from her team.

Closing your eyes you told Laia:” I feel like you’ll score a header in the second half, Laia.”

“We’ll see about that.”, your teammate laughed warmly.

“Trust me.”, you grinned at her.

“I do.”

Only five minutes into the second half and Aitana scored a screamer with your assist. “Oh my god, that was amazing!”, Ona jumped into your open arms, you almost fell over but could stay up with the two of you.

Her compliment made your cheeks turn red almost immediately:” Nah, Aitana’s goal was prettier.”

“Stop it and take the compliment.”, the midfielder rolled her eyes at you.

“She’s been bad at it since day one.”, your best friend blurted out with a teasing smile on her lips, clearly referring to one of your first nights at La Masia when you have doubted yourself so much it brought you to tears.

“Shut it.”, you tried to stop her from adding anything more.

But she nonchalantly responded: “It’s true.”

“Let’s keep our head in the game, chicas.”, you reminded them.

“Ugh fine.”, Ona groaned.

At the end your prediction turned out to be true, only one minute before the game was over Laia scored the winning goal.

Excited Laia gesticulated with her hands:” Have you seen my header? Thanks, Oni!”

“Nice one.”, the fellow defender remarked happily.

Meanwhile you hugged Laia from the side:” I told you so.”

At the final whistle you could see Ona walking away from your team to greet her brother who was watching the match in the stands. Grinning Joan embraced her in a hug before he said to her: “Ona, you and your roommate have a great chemistry on the pitch.”

“Thanks?”, she replied a bit confused by the tone in his voice.

“Is there more to it?”, her sibling wiggled his brows.

With an amused smile on her lips Aitana joined their conversation:” Honestly, we’ve been asking them that for forever.”

“No, that’s ridiculous.”, Ona protested giggling.

You came to her rescue, adding:” Right, we’re just friends nothing more and nothing less.”

“That would be weird.”, she thankfully pressed your hand.

“Yeah, I agree.”

“Okay, I got it.”, Joan answered.

“I don’t.” Aitana confessed.

“Aitana, stop!”, you both demanded.

The midfielder smiled innocently:” What?”  

In hindsight Ona and you might could have notice that there was more to your connection, but you didn’t like when people were right because you rather proved to them that they were wrong even when those could read you better than yourself at the time.

2018

You both were 18, in a few weeks’ time you both would be 19 but it was the first time you were about to party with the adult team of Barcelona.

A lot of things had changed since your academy years, for example Ona was playing for Levante now while Aitana and you were a few of the lucky ones who were allowed to stay in the Barcelona senior squad as the club was trying to get more experienced players and let the younger ones go. But you still were best friends, and you were happy that she was in town to celebrate.

The two of you sat in the Barcelona apartment that you had recently moved in and got ready for the party.

“Can you believe it? We get to play with the adult teams now and we’re going to party with them for the first time.“, you asked while applying mascara to your eyelashes.

Ona was busy changing into a new shirt for the third time: “No. But I’m so ready for it.“

“Me too.“

Your best friend examined her outfit in the mirror and with a satisfied nod turned to you: “Are you done?“

You put on another layer of lipgloss: “Yes, I’m ready.“

“Let’s leave.“, Ona grinned while passing you your purse.

Of course, you arrived fashionably late at the party where the older players were already celebrating.

With a drink in hand, Jenni elbowed Alexia in the side: “The children arrived!“

Unimpressed, you rolled your eyes: “Not funny, Jenni.“

“Oh come on, take a joke.“, the dark-haired striker grinned.

“Maybe after a drink.“, you replied casually which caused Alexia and Jenni burst out laughing.

“Someone’s thirsty.“, Alexia teased.

“No, worries. We got you.“, Jenni smiled before leaning over the bar to order some drinks. She handed you and Ona a glass each.

You quickly took a sip: “Thanks, Jenni.“

“You’re welcome.“

Alexia held out her glass: “Cheers, you two.“

“Cheers.“, you said as you all clinked your glasses together.

You and Ona spend most part of the night talking to the other players who always made sure, you had a drink in hand. While the clock ticked closer to midnight, you started feeling the alcohol.

“Come on, Oni. Let’s dance.“, you begged and pulled on your best friends arm.

Ona who seemed a little less drunk, grimaced: “Dancing? In front of everyone?“ You took her glass and set it down on a table before pulling her towards the dance floor. Gently, you took her hands in yours: “Close your eyes, pretend it’s our room.“

“Fine.“, she sighed and followed your instruction.

You happily watched as she finally started moving to the rhythm of the music. “Better? Or still terrible?“, you laughed.

For a moment, Ona said nothing and as you followed her gaze, you realized why. A man, definitely older than you, had started dancing close behind you and kept thrusting his hips in your direction. You immediately felt panic rise in your stomach.

“It just gotten horrible.“, Ona belatedly answered your question but you could barely hear her over the rush of blood in your ears.

“Want to dance with me?“, he asked. His smile was betraying him, telling you that he did not only have dancing in mind.

You forced yourself to a stiff smile: “No, thanks.“

“What’s the problem? It’s just a dance. Or do you have a boyfriend? He doesn’t have to know.“

Surprised by his persistence and audacity, you found yourself unable to answer.

Luckily Ona stepped in and gave him a cold look: “Actually, she has a girlfriend?“

“You?“, he asked.

“Yes, Ona is my girlfriend.”, you quickly lied. To make sure the man was finally leaving you alone your best friend kissed you. The words didn’t work but that gesture thankfully did.

After the kiss you went back to the table the Barcelona girls were sitting around.

“Oh my god, girls, what if something happened and he didn’t just leave?!”, Alexia who has seen everything sounded deeply worried.

“Alexia, relax that was hot.”, Jenni grinned.

The midfielder shook her head in frustration:”  This isn’t about that, Jenni. It was about their safety.”

Softly you intervened:” We’re okay, Alexia. Really.”

“I hope so.”, she grumbled.”

“The kiss.”, Aitana started.

Promptly you interrupted her:” That was just a measure to make him leave, Tana.”

You could hear her voice being filled with scepticism:” Yeah, definitely looked like that.”

“We’re just very convincing that’s all.”, Ona replied with a wink.

“Sure.”, Aitana said, clearly not believing a word she said.

“Let’s stay with us for now please.”, Alexia pleaded smiling.

Despite the incident earlier you enjoyed that night out. So much that you looked up in surprise a couple of hours later:” You’re leaving?”

“It’s late, children.”, Jenni answered amused.

Her comment made Ona blush:” We’ve not noticed.”

“Of course, you two didn’t.”, Aitana remarked giggling.

2020

“Wait, Ona you’re going to Manchester?!”, you repeated while feeling weirdly numb to the news your best friend just told you in your own appartement.

“Yeah, I’m signing the contract in a few days.”, she tried to keep her voice calm even though your reaction confused her.

“Oh. Wow.”, you muttered.

A bitter laugh escaped Ona’s mouth:” What? You’re not even excited for me?”

“No, I just hoped you would go back to Barca.”, you admitted.

She raised an eyebrow:“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter. Good luck in cold England.”, you waved it off.

“Thanks. I don’t need it. If you excuse me now, I must continue packing.”, the hurt in her voice was undeniable. You noticed that the defender was holding on to one of your sweaters which she was trying to put into her tote bag: “That’s mine, can I have it back?”

“It’s my sweater.”, Ona coldly stated.

“Whatever.”

She was already on her way to the front door but turned around glancing hopeful at you:” You’ll visit me, right.”

“We’ll see about that.”, you replied.

Much later you’d realize that you didn’t react like a best friend more like a lover who was hurt that her love was leaving for another country to find success abroad.

to be continued...

#ona batlle #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso #woso community #woso one shot #alexia putellas #aitana bonmati #jenni hermoso #barca femeni #espwnt #ona batlle x reader #ona batlle imagine #barca femeni x reader

[batsandbugs]

THE CONTINUATION OF THE IKEA VERSE

Okay, so this isn't quite an actual update yet, but I've been gone for a while and I wanted to let y'all know what's going on.

The last chapter of Classification System has been fighting me. Bruce and Damian's confrontation is important, but, up until now, I had no clue how it needed to go, or wanted it to end. After all, this story never had a planned plot, and was rather more a chaotic amalgamation of vibes that grew legs and dragged me along for the ride. While that worked well for the first story, the second wanted to veer into serious territory, which is maybe why it was fighting me so hard. I have serious stories, but IKEA Verse has never really been one of them.

So I started thinking of a third installment, hoping this inspiration would drive me to find the proper course for how Bruce and Damian's confrontation should unfold. So I put on my thinking cap, and thought, "hmmm... how am I going to bring back the fun and excitement and hilarity of the first installment, while still continuing Damian and Marinette's relationship?"

And my evil brain responded with...

"~Bigger is better, and better is bigger, a little bit is never enough, no, no, no!~"

So, ladies, gents, and others I now present to you the third installment of The IKEA VERSE:

THE GREAT GOTHAM SEWER RACE

CALLING ALL RACERS! Underneath Gotham lay miles of caverns, lava pools, zombie hordes, interdimensional racing tracks, funhouse hallways, a maze full of doors that do not open and lead into a never ending madness, a mysterious banked fog, submerged waterways, ancient temples, and more! Come try your hand at claiming the ultimate prize which lay hidden at the finish line.

If you survive...

Coming 2024!

So... yeah, IKEA Game Verse is getting a third installment. The last chapter of Classification System, should be out sometime within the next month or two, now that I have proper motivation to get it finished. And starting the new year I'll be posting the Great Gotham Sewer Race! Hope this makes up for the months of radio silence (although I have posted a few chapters of my Marvel fic, so I haven't been totally silent).

As always, all comments, suggestions, and ideas are welcome! The bigger and crazier the better and if it's good, there's a high likelihood it'll end up in the story (after all the knowledge of IKEA stores with ball pits was given via comment, and we all know how that panned out.) Think Hanabarbara Wacky Races! If anyone still remembers that show. Tell me who you want to see! ANYONE IN DC is open for consideration, other fandoms are also encouraged (the caverns beneath Gotham are interdimensional and inter-universal!) Tell me if there's any challenge, or obstacle, or event you want to see! I'm open anything and everything.

I hope this sparks excitement for y'all as it has done for me. See you soon!

#maribat #damian x marinette #mlb crossover #maridami #damimari #the great ikea game #the great gotham sewer race #daminette #daimianette #dc x mlb #the ikea verse

[comfortfoodcontent]

2024 X-Men #35 cover by Pepe Larraz

2019-2024 - RIP Krakoa Era X-Men

I love this cover. The art is amazing. It marks the end of the Krakoa era X-Men. It's been on my mind a lot lately and I had to get some thoughts out on it. If you know me, if you ever followed me or my comics site or whatever, you know I was a very loud, very big fan of the Krakoa era at the start, basically up until X of Swords and Hickman's decision to leave. It's finally ending.

2019-2024 - RIP Krakoa Era X-Men

But truthfully it may as well be 2019-2019 -RIP Krakoa Era X-Men. It pretty much failed from the start. I loved HoxPox when it dropped. It was, embarrassing to say now, life changing for me. I thought Hickman was a genius and had found a way to reinvigorate the line and render death as a cheap storytelling gimmick useless. A bunch of my faves were being used and ressurected. I was happier than a pig in shit. I joined Twitter and all the insane X-Fans on there. I started a website and a podcast dedicated to comics. Soon the Covid pandemic started. I was terminally online, my brain rot started and grew worse by the day. It was an insane wild ride that started high and died soon thereafter.

It's hard for me to separate my pretentious Comfort Food Comic media brand time with the pretentious Krakoan Era. Both started out so happily, so full of potential and optimism. To run a site or a podcast in these hellish times you must also play the social media game. Constantly be on there, constantly push your product. Being on Twitter during that time and being part of the X-Community, you start to see how much being on social media fucks you up. You constantly feel like you need to have an opinion on everything, and that it actually matters. You need to be a critic to every piece of media, every decision, every little thing someone says or posts. You lose your grasp on reality, the real world, how to function and interact like a normal human being not stuck hidden behind a screen with your dual public twitter profile and private locked one (something I'm glad to say I never stooped to). It brings you attention. It brings you friends. It pushes your product or brand. It gives you validation and the dopamine rush. It's an addicting, disgusting, fake as hell experience. I was fully caught up in it. It didn't help that I was quarantining and barely leaving my house for a few years. It got me through the pandemic but it also left me so much worse than when I started. Much like how the Krakoan Era treated the X-Men franchise.

Why am I talking about social media so much when I started with X-Men? Well, it felt like this era of publishing went hand in hand with what was being put into the comics. Every creator was constantly on Twitter interacting with fans, always seeing what they had to say. Even Hickman was on there. Dude just wanted to post photos from movies and talk about like what Gen X members he liked. He eventually left because insane X-Men fans wanted him to talk about George Floyd and compare real world race issues with some superhero comics and weigh in, OH GOD WHY ISNT HE WEIGHING IN PUBLICALLY??. It was really weird how fans dealt with that one. Vita Ayala, Tini Howard, Leah Williams - constantly interacting with fans, friends with many of them. A pretty cool thing really, but that shit started influencing their comics throwing in characters or scenes specifically to make some X-Men fan they know on Twitter squee real loud. Shatterstar is not your favorite AEW wrestler. We do not need a book of human X-Men fans who pretend to be mutants influenced by dorky X-Men fans online. We do not need longtime villain Apocalypse to become our "Blue Dad". Jordan White should be editing or at the very least reading any old X-Men comics instead of being on Twitter. We don't need to know what the X-Writers do on their Slack, or worse, what X-fans do on their own incestuous Slack. Gerry Duggan, a writer I loved and thought could do no wrong, joined this group and upped his Twitter usage and the brain rot commenced and his work was so influenced by it. I'll never forget when white people started using fuck around and find out on Twitter and then it was in like 3 of his books the next month. My point in this ramble is the books were being influenced by and written for the loudest X-Men fans on Twitter. The art was dead. The books were a product made in that echo chamber for that echo chamber. They got bad real fast because of our society's addiction to social media these days.

Now that the honeymoon phase is over and I've revisited a lot of these books I do still feel HoXPoX was a wonderful series, one of the best X-Men series, masterfully executed and a perfect jumping off point with so much to explore. I also see the usual Hickman faults. The my series starts some time later, not really addressing anything prior to it that all his books share, the insanely detailed long term plans that he nor the comics business machine will actually follow through on after a year or so, and the shadowy superior group of power that exists in all of his comics. The Moira retcon, while brilliant, quickly falls apart when they never develop her further, or deal with the fact Xavier and Magneto went on to have an entire publishing history knowing what amounts to their entire future until the Krakoa Age must be established. That never really worked and was ignored by the creators and fans alike, including me. So it never really worked from the jump.

Rather than keep the line condensed and maybe just let Hickman write his own story, they expand it out from there involving a bunch of different creators and new ongoings. Plenty of series to explore the ramifications of these retcons, the perceived ethnostate the mutants have established and their abandoning of the coexistent dream the X-Men always fought for, grappling with identity and what it means when death no longer matters, and the conflicts that would arise from having all these villains live with them now. Sadly we instead basically just got Utopia 2.0. Surface level shit where the mutants are on an island surviving that rarely ever went in on all the amazing story ideas we could have explored. But hey certain fans were happy because they could go "Hey Synch is here for a few panels!" or "this horrific out of character gladiator death ceremony is TOTALLY the same thing as my real life transitional phase". Nobody really wanted to question any of this in the comics or in real life. And hey sour grapes aside, we did get some cool stories and some fun character interactions and moments, mostly in the Hickman books. But even from the start, some of it is horrible, more of the same schlock - Fallen Angels a great example, or Hickman's more boring Giant Size issues or his Shi'ar issue, or half of every other title. What should have been being explored or dealt with in the text often went ignored and we got X-Men being superheroes or Otherworld nonsense, which at the time I ate up because I'm such a fan of the old Captain Britain material. Sadly that never really went anywhere either, just making nebulous dimensions that were out there somewhere, don't question it LOOK IT'S JIM JASPERS! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED! Even things that should have been celebrated like Betsy and Rachel pushing through Gal Pals territory to being together felt largely flat and hollow and forced rather than natural or fun. And that was a common theme as it kept going. Everything felt forced, felt wrong, the writing felt amateurish and simple as it ignored more major issues or reasons to exist. Things just seemed to start happening for no real story reasons. No real further development or exploration. A ton of plots don't make sense as established history and characterization is thrown out the window. Nothing really matters. Rockslide is ruined forever just because. Arrako will never REALLY make sense, Loa and Mercury are psychopathic sex fiends, Pixie of all people is a callous death pervert, Banshee is a Ghost Rider, Warlock's doing something, Colossus joins the Quiet Council and just sits there, Children of the Atom is designated a "red" important book and does nothing of value or import, Moira gets pissy so she turns into a no shades of gray villain robot who skins her soul mate and wears his skin and joins Orchis, mutants are fucking so much and I guess just quickly going to term and they just abandon countless babies in the forest, Anole and a few others are brainless dolts who love the Shadow King, Onslaught is bouncing around, there's an old X-23, Synch is now the best and can recall any power ever magically but never talks to any member of his old team or deals with his death, Inferno as a whole essentially just didn't happen or matter, Sinister isn't Sinister at all he's a clone and there's 3 more of them, Casandra Nova is on a team, Doug knows secrets, Magneto buys a lighthouse, characters are randomly and indiscriminately put into The Pit, Shaw and Selene are maybe the only two villains ever that get examined in a way where maybe they shouldn't be buddy buddy with the X-Men - I need to stop now before I get more angry and depressed but I could go on and on and on. Point is things got bad. Like a ton of this was just bad writing and bad comics. I'm sorry. I get it. I was blinded too. I ignored things. I made my own head canons. I focused on the good stuff.

By the time Hickman actually announces he is leaving, things are already falling apart due to him and Marvel deciding to expand and stretch this shit out instead of just letting him do his shit and end it as a complete story or era. He does Inferno which as I said did nothing and didn't matter. It's good but it's a big ball of nothing. From there the books get worse and worse. Duggan's superhero X-Men book is fluff. Nearly every other series declines more and more. Hellions is a fun dark comedy, but sloppy and lacking that depth and exploration. Al Ewing's work tries hard to reach those Hickman highs and I found myself quite enjoying his work on SWORD and later on X-Men Red but mainly because it all ends up divorced from Krakoa as part of his larger Marvel Cosmic work, with great characterization. I really dig that work and it's common theme is really how off to the side not involved it is.

Later writers, including some real Literal Whos? and pretentious "novel authors" further dilute the line with their less talented work(I like Steve Orlando as a person but I desperately wish he'd try harder to write actual stories instead of being a human youtube video that summarizes obscure 90's comic characters for modern day zoomers). Kieron Gillen, bless him, tries to be the new Hickman and he does have some of the best Krakoa era material, but even he starts failing pretty badly. Sins of Sinister was a clusterfuck of boring nonsense for people who want to seem or sound smart, same goes for this current Dominion plot.

Looking at the art now I'm struck by how none of these characters are TRULY changed from this era, let alone had a lasting or defining story. It's crazy to me we went 5 whole years with this and really what has changed, ESPECIALLY with the current Orchis wrap-up story. X-Men fight some nasty humans who don't like them. We're back to that ALREADY. We aren't getting to the end of the Krakoan Era, we've been in it for quite some time. As I look at this art I see only 3 wholly new characters, which they'll be lucky if they are used after this. One of them is Pogg-Ur Pogg, a perfect example of this era. A big Aligator man, not much thought behind it, that fans LOVED. Sadly, he wasn't actually an alligator man. It was all a fakeout. That was some suit a little boring gremlin wore. A little boring gremlin. Nothing unique, nothing fun. Same old shit you've seen in thousands of comics. That's what the Krakoa Era was. Something that seemed SO DAMN COOL, SO DAMN THOUGHT OUT, but really it didn't have much thought behind it. It was a flashy suit of potential hiding the same old gremlin you've always seen. Even after the eternally online creators saw how popular he got, they didn't change any of this, they just thought we've got it. The suit/gremlin thing is good. It wasn't and they tried to bring it back for further stories but it was so lame at this point it was pathetic. Much like the repeated attempts to salvage and course correct after Hickman.

So here we are at the end. I can't believe I'm actually THANKFUL it is ending. That I actually want to regress and return to the X-Men as superheroes fighting their villains again. I've been rereading old X-books and I crave that big, bold excitement of what truly made the X-Men superhero team work. It's such a bummer and such a failure of execution with so many to blame. What DISGUSTS me so much is already seeing fans eulogize this era as perfection that was cut short by Marvel and not a fun experiment that was botched from the start. I'm with you, I was the biggest believer and supporter at the start. I joined Twitter, I examined every panel, made countless threads of discussion, debated and discussed every little thing with fellow fans. I wanted so much for this to be what it could be. Please, examine it honestly and critically. It's a failure. It's time to pull the plug.

It's ironic to me that I deleted my Twitter this year, the Krakoan age having the same amount of life my Twitter fandom life did. It went from such excitement and fun to soul sucking everyday nonsense. It seems fitting and emblematic of what this age was and turned into. This era, just like Twitter which influenced it so much, is/was a stupid, ugly, brain rotted mess dotted with sparing gold with the unrealized potential for so much more. I for one, welcome it.

Peace Out Krakoa Era, you won't be missed.

#krakoa #krakoa era #x-men #mutants #me #my writing #writing #comics #comic books #marvel #marvel comics #pepe larraz

[astridellejo]

I wanted to have a TDOV Easter egg cracking story ready for today, but my ADHD won. So here's something I hastily put together at the last minute (like I always do).

My personal trans lore below the cut:

I grew up as a child of the 1980s and had absolutely no idea that trans was a thing. All I knew is that the body I had was not the body I wanted. Those thoughts started around 1983 when I was nine years old. I thought it was just a normal part of growing up, and that everyone in the world felt like that. Even in my senior year of high school when I was eighteen years old, I was still having thoughts like, "I wish this wanting to be a different sex and gender than the one I'm stuck with part of puberty would hurry up and finish, because it's getting really old now."

[egg emoji (not actually an egg emoji)]

Again, I didn't know trans was a thing. It was about 1995 when I would finally see actual trans people for the first time on some daytime trash television talk show. At which point I was like, "Wait, what? Oh no. I'm gonna be really bad at that, then. Because I just don't have it in me to be that ostentatious." I just wanted to wear black and sit in a dark corner of a café and draw in my sketchbook.

Now because it was the 1990s, your average cishet didn't grasp the difference between sex, gender, and sexual orientation. (It's 2024 now and most still don't.) So everybody thought I was gay. And I was all, "Well, technically yes. But not in the way you think."

See, my crushes in the early 90s were Winona Ryder, and Laura Dern, and Gillian Anderson. And who I wanted to look like was Gina Gershon in Bound, or Ally Sheedy in High Art. But back in the day, the idea of a butch lesbian trans woman just blew everyone's minds. The idiot gender headshrink (the person I had to get a 'permission slip' from to begin my transition) just couldn't wrap that around his brain. Which is why I only saw him three times before demanding my letter.

Then finally in summer of 2002, I began my transition (after almost five years of roadbumps and occasional self-doubt). I began second puberty and went through the really awkward teenage girl phase of transition figuring out my new self expression while my body slowly morphed into a shape that I was much more comfortable having.

It has now been 22 years since I began my transition and I'm happy to report that now I look more or less how I wanted to look in 1998, but with hair that is almost three feet long. (Ooo! Long haired butch!) Plus that hair has streaks of silver in it now, making it so much hotter!

I'm going to be 50 in September, which just short-circuits my headmeats. Does that make me a trans elder yet? Or do I need another decade? Whatever. It'll be interesting to see how my midlife crisis plays out.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Happy Transgender Day of Visibility!

(The selfie is from three years ago because I'm too lazy to go take one now.)

#tdov #tdov 2024 #trans day of visibility #transgender day of visibility #trans #transgender #queer #nonbinary #aroace #astridellejo.jpg

[hueningsloverr]

౨ৎ infatuation !

pairing: beomgyu x non-idol!reader summary: love sucks. communication issues suck even more. word count: 0.3k extra: lil tw for talk of poor mental health!!

love was hard. key emphasis on was. beomgyu made love easy. easy until your brain got in the way.

limerence they called it. a stage of infatuation plagued by intrusive thoughts and actions. you never really loved him, your brain just wanted you to. and that fact was scary.

was anything you ever felt real, or was it all just a chemical imbalance in your brain? those thoughts were why you couldn’t stay - though you could never tell him that.

"i'm not in love with you anymore." you watched as his eyes grew wide and his face turned red.

"bullshit!" he snapped, though his voice teetered on the edge of tears. he swallowed hard, as if trying to ingest his emotions.

"why won't you just let me say this beomgyu!" you cried. now it was your turn to choke back tears. "let me break up with you. please."

he shook his head, dismissing your words as if they were meaningless.

"because this isn't you! if kai thought this would be a funny joke, it's not! and if it's fans that are pressuring you, fuck them!"

his voice was raised, and he had a similar expression to a startled cat. yet, he wasn't angry. he was hurt.

"it’s my head, gyu. something is wrong with me! i can't love you with that something going on."

"so you're just going to give up?" he spat, his eyes narrowing as his eyebrows furrowed. "you're going to run and hide from me instead of asking for help."

"don't." you pleaded, and that was all it took for him to walk away.

because while love was easy with beomgyu, emotions weren't. heat of the moment arguments lasted days, and all it took to break his heart was one wrong word. so while beomgyu made love easy, he made everything else harder.

©2024 - all rights reserved to hueningsloverr, please do not plagiarise or translate any of my work

#beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu #txt beomgyu #txt x reader #hueningkai #huening kai #txt #huening kai x reader #x reader #kang taehyun #txt taehyun #taehyun x reader #taehyun #txt soobin #soobin x reader #choi soobin #soobin #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun txt #txt yeonjun #choi yeonjun #yeonjun #tomorrow x together angst #tomorrow x together x reader #tomorrow x together imagines #tomorrow by together #tomorrow x together #hueningsloverr #rhias blurbsﾟ𐦍༘⋆

[avida-heidia-5]

While we wait for the 2024 Formula 1 season to arrive, I thought I’d entertain myself by playing a little tag game I’ve just created. Feel free to participate if you have the time to do it. 😊

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

1. Who or what got you into F1?

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

(This is all the questions I could come up with, I’m afraid! My brain is absolutely worn to a frazzle! 😮‍💨)

Now tag as many people as you like! I tag the following peeps: @kaossbells, @argentinagp, @hurricane-heatt, @skitskatdacat63, @racingliners, @formulaes5, @princemick, @4xmulti21champion, @schumigrace, @hungriestheidi, @ellalovesvettel, @twinkodium, and @wanderingblindly. Feel free to participate if you would like to. No pressure! 😊

If I haven’t tagged you in this but you want to participate, you have my permission. Go absolutely wild!

Now here are my answers below the cut! Warning: I can be a touch rambly!

1. Who or what got you into F1?

My parents introduced me to F1 in 2004 when I was around 4 or 5 years old. I vividly remember watching pretty much the whole of the 2005 season on the telly and how amazing a lot of the races were back then. 😍 Since then, we’ve been keeping up with watching races, following the news, and visiting Silverstone for Free Practice sessions and fun events like the Classic Weekend and the Lap Of Lights whenever possible.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

I was drawn to Kimi Räikkönen when I was young because I found him attractive. 😳 This was before I knew anything about F1. 😅 Once I got into the habit of watching the sport regularly, I was happily cheering him on. That McLaren was a BEAST…when it was reliable. 😬

I didn’t know much about Kimi’s story back then. As I grew older though, I did some research on him and came to understand why fans love him so much. He kept a cool head during qualifying and race days (He’s called The Iceman for a reason!) and I just love his personality in general: Quiet, composed, honest, and straightforward. And who could forget the memes that spawned during Kimi’s return to F1?

Even though Kimi’s retired from the sport (seemingly for good 😢), I still love and support him with all my heart, whatever he gets up to. 💙❄️

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

Sebastian Vettel. Oooooh Sebastian Vettel! Where do I even start? 🥰

I have an insane adoration for this man, even more than Kimi admittedly. Seb is just…on another level to me. 😍😍😍

He’s the sweetest, most loveliest man on the planet. He’s kind, generous, talented, and cultured. He’s also an environmentalist, and I fully support his journey to try and make our planet a greener, tidier, happier, and healthier place. 🌎🌱 I’m always fascinated with what he has to say; whether it’s something positive or negative. He has a ridiculous knowledge of everything related to F1 and our environment, and I love him even more for it.

Seb is also retired from F1 and I still miss him dearly, but that doesn’t stop me from loving and supporting this man. I adore him to absolute BITS! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber have an interesting dynamic to me. I’ve enjoyed seeing their relationship develop and fall apart and repair themselves back together on track, from when the two were teammates at Red Bull all the way up to today. It’s good that they can laugh about their mishaps and misfortunes afterwards. I don’t know, these two just fascinate me. 💜

Other favourite driver pairings include (in no particular order): Seb and Kimi, Seb and Charles Leclerc, Fernando Alonso and Giancarlo Fisichella, Fernando Alonso and Lance Stroll, Lando Norris and Carlos Sainz Jr., Lando Norris and Daniel Ricciardo, Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz Jr., and FINALLY, Alex Albon and Logan Sargeant.

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

We’re happy to support any team, but we’re primarily McLaren supporters in this household. 🧡 As for drivers, my mum loves Jenson Button and my dad is a Nigel Mansell and Fernando Alonso supporter. My sister just recently started getting into F1 and she supports Lando Norris. We never have any complaints or disputes over our choices, which is nice. 😊

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

There’s quite a lot of races I’ve enjoyed watching over the years. I don’t like the current races that much; I’m more of a 2000’s & 2010’s grid enjoyer. My favourite race of all time has got to be the 2012 Brazilian GP. It was the most nail-biting race I have ever watched! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! 😱 To me, nothing can top it!

However, the race that stood out to me the most – and the race that firmly cemented my enjoyment for the sport – was the 2005 Japanese Grand Prix. Kimi was a BEAST in that McLaren! From starting dead last on the grid to snatching victory on the final lap. What a show he put on! 🤩👏🏻

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

Spa-Francorchamps will forever be my favourite circuit. It’s home to one of the most iconic battles in history. (“BUT HERE COMES SEBASTIAN VETTEL!!!!”) Plus the foresty backdrop is absolutely stunning. 😍 One of my dream goals is to visit this iconic circuit and watch a race in person one day. 🙏🏻

I also love Silverstone, Hockenheim, Monza, Sepang, Interlagos, and the Nürburgring.

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

No, I’ve never been to a race before. Not yet, at least. I would really love to go to one with my family and friends though. 🤩🙏🏻

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

Unfortunately, as of writing, no. We’ve taken many pictures of drivers, but I’ve yet to actually come face-to-face with them and take their autographs and have pictures with them. 🙁 One day, I’m hoping this will all come true. 🤞🏻

My parents briefly talked to Esteban Ocon when he was a reserve driver. (They don’t know which team he was in at the time and I don’t know either. This was around 2015, if that helps. 🤷🏻‍♀️) My mum was extremely lucky to talk to and get an autograph from Jenson Button’s dad John when he was alive. I believe this was around the time before Jenson won the World Championship. They’ve yet to get Jenson’s autograph. Again, one day! 🤞🏻

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

I don’t have many favourite cars, and I’m not a car nerd like my dad is. However, the McLaren MP4/20 is a certified favourite of mine. The black and white West McLaren livery in general looked very smart. I’m happy it lasted a very long time from 1997 to 2005. 😍 I wish they brought those colours back in modern races, like for special occasions or something. 😭

I also love the blue and yellow Mild Seven Renault livery from 2005, followed by McLaren’s delightfully retro Gulf livery from 2021, and Hungry Heidi herself: the Red Bull RB9 from 2013.

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

Robert Kubica. This man went from having his horrific accident during the 2007 Canadian GP to winning the race a year later at the same circuit. What a legend! 🤍

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

Let’s start with my favourite hilarious quote: Kimi’s got hundreds of iconic moments during his time in F1. I actually use his infamous quote “Just leave me alone! I know what I’m doing!” quite often in normal conversations, so…I’ll go with that! 🤣🤣🤣

As for inspirational quotes, hmmm, that’s a lot harder. The one that came to my head first was Daniel Ricciardo’s “Enjoy the butterflies” quote. I also love Sebastian Vettel’s “You can’t always be the best, but you can do your best.” and his retirement speech, among others. If I had to choose one….uhhhhh, let’s go with Daniel! I love them all equally though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

#My tag game #Formula 1 Tag Game #tag game #ask game #My ramblings: F1 #formula 1 #f1 #random #personal

[theonethatyaks93]

Heartbeats (PaTB Valentine's Day Fic 2024)

Hi guys!! Happy Valentine's Day!!! This is the fic I made for my incredible friend @therealhayyhay as a little present. I'm so glad that we found each other! I'm gonna try and keep this short but I really put my heart and soul into this and I'm hoping you guys like it!!

Another botched plan, another night spent wasting away in failure. Even though world domination had been put aside for his marriage to the love of his life, he still felt that lingering guilt of a futile attempt. Why he kept pondering these negative ideals, he had no clue. But The Brain could only wish that he would pay attention to things that truly mattered.

Mainly his lovable Pinky.

He kept his head down as Pinky literally carried him back into the cage, his arm bandaged from an incredibly painful fall after an explosion. It stung mildly but he was certain it would be healed by tomorrow. Brain could only think about how fortunate it was that his husband hadn’t been harmed by the blast. He almost forgot that he’d been hurt himself.

“I’m sorry that the plan failed Brain. Narf! I’m sure you’ll get it tomorrow! I know it!” Pinky smiled, holding Brain gingerly as he slowly walked.

Brain winced a little at the slight pain the Pinky accidently inflicted on his arm with his movements, but he sighed afterward as he glanced upon Pinky’s calm expression. He found relief in the way his precious face was all scrunched up and cheery looking. “You have nothing to apologize for, my dear. Tonight’s failure was entirely because of my own volition. I…should have paid more attention to the fine mechanics in all honesty.”

“Aww!” Pinky purred, nuzzling Brain’s nose, touching it softly which caused Brain to let out a light squeak. “Don’t be so hard on yourself! I believe that you can do this! Or at least you won’t cause an explosion next time!”

“Thank you, Pinky.” Brain nuzzled back, pushing them as close as they could go in their current circumstance. “I welcome your support and confidence in me. And I couldn’t be happier with your loyalty…”

He stopped in his tracks when he got a good view at his husband’s reaction to his returning affection. His eyes lit up and his tiny smile grew wider. He could even notice a light pink dusting his face. Brain could feel a deep blush creeping up; suddenly his want for Pinky took over a desire for everything else. Even those nagging thoughts that were previously present faded away.

“Uhm…it appears that my previous temperament has left me. I seem to have become entranced by your loving stare, Pinky. I cannot finish my previous sentence, at least with the same level of slight irritation as I once had.” He tried keeping a straight face, but his emotions were starting to affect his entire body. Brain felt himself heat up more when Pinky responded with a flirty smirk

“Oh, Brain! Poit! Stop it! You’re making me feel all fluttery and gooooshy! I could so kiss you right now!” Pinky quickly batted his paw up and down, as his blush became even more obvious.

Brain lifted his non-injured arm to place his paw on Pinky’s cheek, causing him to look directly at Brain. “We are spouses, Pinky. We’ve been married for a year. You know you don’t have to say that anymore. I usually oblige to kissing in most situations.” He stopped briefly to pull Pinky closer, their foreheads touching. “And you are far too beautiful right now for me to resist.”

Pinky was about to respond, but Brain didn’t let him, their lips meeting before he even had the chance to speak. Pinky made a moan of surprise when Brain made his move, but he soon began humming contently as the kiss continued, his tail happily swishing. Brain felt himself swoon a little at Pinky’s quiet sounds, one of his favorite parts of kissing by far. He savored the moment, deepening the kiss at a speedy pace.

When Pinky parted for air, Brain didn’t waste any time and locked their mouths together once more. He loved kissing his husband. It always made him feel better about himself and about his difficulties. Pinky was so placid and caring with him, it was almost unreal how this mouse had become all his. But just as their kiss was about to take a more intimate turn, Pinky’s legs gave out as he tripped on the entrance to their cage, causing Brain to tumble to the floor with an obnoxious thud.

Brain yelped; the fall had caused a searing pain to return to his injured arm. He hissed, biting back embarrassment that the kiss had distracted Pinky from seeing where he was going, but also fighting back tears that began to prick his eyes. Brain knew it had been an accident. Yet somehow, this little slip caused all the built-up emotions from before to come crashing back, even more spiteful, and harsh than before.

Before he could fully lose himself in his agony, he felt himself be held tightly. Brain eased a little when he saw his husband’s worried face in front of him, his apologetic appearance radiating immense trepidation.

“Brain, are you alright? Zort! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drop you. I always forget about that nasty-wasty step. I’m such a dunce. How’s your arm?” Pinky spoke chaotically and quick, inspecting Brain’s arm gingerly. He seemed to grow more troubled when he noticed the slight swelling, his distress growing. “Oh no! It’s even worse! Your arm’s all swelled and angry! I’m sorry, Brain! I’m a bad husband!”

The megalomaniac felt his stomach churn a little at Pinky’s sudden outburst. It was not his husband’s fault that he was injured, it had just been a matter of occurrence. “No, Pinky. You are certainly not a bad husband. You just happened to not pay attention to your surroundings, which is inane. But you are mostly not to blame. Even if the pain is immense” Brain snuggled closer to Pinky, doing his best to soothe his spouse’s woes. “You are a remarkable partner, dearest. Don’t ever doubt that or I shall have to kiss you.”

Pinky placed a paw on Brain’s cheek, rubbing it tenderly. He giggled, carefully setting Brain’s arm down before dragging him closer. “I love you so much, darling. I want you to know that every day! But can I kiss and hug away your boo-boos so that you feel all happy and good again? Pretty please?”

Brain was hesitant at first, mostly because he knew that kisses didn’t provide any real healing and that his arm was still hurting quite a bit. But the prospect of more kissing from his lover was so tempting, he couldn’t pass on this opportunity. “Alright, Pinky. You may proceed with your attempt at comforting me. Be careful though.”

“Yay!” Pinky cheered, slightly shaking Brain in his excitement. “I promise this’ll make you feel all better! Troz!”

Wasting no time, Pinky immediately lowered his head and began peppering kisses along Brain’s arm, making sure not to miss a single spot. It was a little crude, but Brain was not paying any attention to the more awkward factors in the matter. He was far too lost in the pleasant sensations invading his body. “P-Pinky. It-it’s perfect.” He struggled saying anything coherent. Pinky’s kisses proved to incapacitate him in every single feasible way.

Pinky briefly looked at Brain, adoration shining in his eyes. “I knew you’d love-love-love it! And I’m not done!”

After a little while of Pinky simply kissing Brain’s arm, he sneakily worked his way up to Brain’s neck and chest, leaving a couple smooches there. Brain held in a reaction as best he could, though he failed to suppress light chuckles. His husband noticed this, kissing him even faster and deeper than before. Brain had a feeling that Pinky didn’t exactly want to relieve his injuries anymore. Not that he cared, Pinky kissing him was a benefit no matter what. But he could clearly tell that things were shifting.

Brain let out a slight whine when Pinky left him, though the two remained close. He felt his spouse’s arms wrap around his waist, as he began being pulled into an embrace. He was about to protest the crushing contact, feeling like the kisses were enough. Just as quickly, however, that initial unease was completely replaced when the side of his face was gently settled on Pinky’s soft chest.

He could hear the soft sighs and hums elicited by Pinky, which he found quite adorable. Brain tried his best to situate himself to where he could be in a better position so he could hold Pinky as well. Obviously, he couldn’t raise his bandaged arm, but he supposed that one would suffice enough. He did his best to keep Pinky close, but his husband was nuzzling and kissing his head and it tickled just a little. While he tried at first to tell Pinky to stop, Brain suddenly froze when he sensed an unusual, yet loving feeling began seeping into his mind.

That’s when he noticed it.

The noise that he’d grown quite accustomed to over the past few years. This time, though when he heard it, something was different. His reaction was different.

Pinky’s heartbeat.

It was like he was hearing the gentle thrum for the first time. Which was simply not true. It had been so many years since Brain first rested against Pinky’s chest. The first time, he’d been shocked and even a little confused. He knew Pinky had a heart. Every living being did. But he still hadn’t heard one beating so close. Brain was even a little fearful about it at first. Pinky had been so comforting though, helping him feel more secure in their newfound relationship. It was one of the best days of his life.

Following that, whenever they would get close or fall asleep within their shared sponge bed, Brain would always listen for Pinky’s heartbeat. He felt like it was a sign of their love for each other, their connection. Without it, Brain felt insecure and trepidatious. Almost scared, though he wouldn’t admit that. When they’d been married, Brain sought it even more. He hoped that for as long as he could hear Pinky’s steady heart, they’d be together.

And yet, currently, he was feeling strange. Something wasn’t adding up to him.

Brain stayed as quiet as possible, trying to absorb the sound into his mental capacity as a dark blush appeared on his cheeks. It was a steady rhythm, quick and yet soft. Noisy but peaceful. Energetic and a little erratic. Just like the mouse that it resided within. How a heart could match someone so perfectly Brain did not know. Still, his usual calmness during these kinds of moments was nonexistent currently; he was thinking about a lot. But he had not a clue as to why.

Was it because of the failure? Was he questioning his relationship with Pinky? What was happening to his emotions?

A sudden rush of anxiety crept over Brain, hitting him like a rock. He hastily pulled away from his husband, backing away slowly as his breathing increased in vigor. Pinky’s calm face sank into one of confusion, cocking his head to the side at Brain’s peculiar reaction.

“Brain, is something wrong? I didn’t hurt you again, did I?” Pinky murmured with a little hesitation.

Brain mustered up his confidence, trying to respond to Pinky’s questions with an excuse. “Yes, I’m fine, dear. I…uh…I just remembered that we haven’t had dinner yet.” He looked off to the side, hoping that Pinky wouldn’t make assumptions. Brain wasn’t even hungry.

“Egad! You’re right! Narf! I knew I forgot something! Silly me!” Pinky got up from the ground and immediately dashed for the cage door, a slight skip in his step. “Would you like me to use the three-in-one oil again for your food pellets? I know how much you like that.”

Brain nodded, hoping that he’d be gone for a while so he could process what was occurring in his thoughts. “I would like that very much. Feel free to take all the time you need. I’ll be here waiting for your return.”

Pinky squealed, waving flirtatiously and winking as he walked away. “Don’t go anywhere, love! Or do. I’m not stopping you!”

Brain did his best to smile, but when Pinky turned around, his face fell.

Now he needed time to ponder for sure.

**************************************

It had only been five minutes, and yet Brain had already found himself in an intense emotional spiral, his mind whirling and scattered thoughts giving him a mild migraine. He was sitting on the edge of his sponge bed, staring out into the empty space beyond the cage bars. He hadn’t heard Pinky in a while so something told him that he was very busy making the food pellets just the way he liked. But that pleasing notion was doing nothing to stop his uncertainty and worry.

He didn’t understand why he’d reacted like that. Why he’d panicked upon hearing Pinky’s heartbeat. That had been happening for years. Why now suddenly was he nervous? Why now had he felt odd?

Somewhat bewildered.

Frightened even.

It had been three years since he and Pinky had become a thing. Romantically speaking that was; they’d been friends for decades. He’d first heard Pinky’s heart only a few days before the big confession. That had been the triggering point for him. What pushed Brain to confess his affections to his partner. Their first kiss was breathtaking. The snuggles that followed over the next few days were glorious. Things only grew from there. Days in a relationship turned to weeks, which turned into months, which eventually led to their marriage. Brain’s love for Pinky knew no restraints. He loved Pinky. He loved Pinky so much.

Yet, he questioned why Pinky would stay with him. How had the most incredible being to ever exist ended up with him? He was a simple laboratory mouse who constantly failed at taking over the world. And still he got a loving husband? Why him? He was a failure. And his abrasive behavior towards Pinky occasionally could be seen by others as abusive.

Through all the plights, Pinky cared about him. Loved him unconditionally. Showered him with warmth, late-night cuddles, and tender kisses that made him feel rather invincible. Through all the peril and despair Brain encountered, Pinky was always there to offer him support. He hated to acknowledge it but without Pinky, Brain wasn’t so sure he’d still be alive.

He could feel the tears pouring from his eyes, could sense his labored breaths. Brain didn’t understand why he was so afraid of confronting his love for Pinky or what exactly made him question it. Pinky was his world. They were married and had been together for what felt like a lifetime. While it had been so long since they reached non-platonic levels, Brain still questioned if and why he even earned his husband. He questioned if Pinky would truly stay with him forever. Or would he leave him at the first signs of trouble. Right now, those thoughts were prevalent more than ever.

All this started because of a stupid heartbeat. What a preposterous reason to be upset.

He held in a sob, closing his pink eyes to resist the sudden urge to start crying and never cease. All these questions were killing his emotions, making him feel unworthy. Brain hated weakness. He tried to never show it. Though now, it seemed like all he could do was be vulnerable and get lost in his own beliefs.

“Brain! I’m done with the food pellets! Poit! We ran out of the three-in-one oil, so I had to use that stuff in the cupboard that tastes like soap. I hope that’s okay with you!”

Brain didn’t even look up when he heard Pinky calling out to him. He couldn’t glimpse at him directly with all the emotions that were building. He tried to ignore Pinky, but as always, his spouse knew something was wrong instantaneously.

Pinky approached slowly, a clear apprehension prevalent in his expression. “Honey, is something wrong? You look like you’ve been crying.”

Brain lifted his head so he could finally glance at Pinky, not trying to hide his tear-stained face anymore. Pinky seemed to notice Brain’s upset state, rushing over to him, and sitting on the edge of the bed. He immediately pulled him into a small hug, using his paws to hold Brain’s face.

“No, no. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. It will be okay, I promise. What’s wrong?” Pinky gently wiped tears from Brain’s cheeks, kissing his nose softly. Brain tried to hold it in but to no avail.

“I’m sorry Pinky. About everything,” he quietly sobbed. “I’ve been having these ridiculous doubts lately about us. About why you stay with me. Why you chose me to be your husband out of everyone else. It’s inane, yet I still have these questions.”

Pinky gasped faintly, tilting Brain’s head so that they could stare at each other face to face. “We’ve talked about this so many times, Brain. I chose you because I love you. I’ve always loved you since I first met you.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not.” Pinky’s tone changed from sympathetic to stern in a matter of seconds. His usually soft blue eyes were now filled with some hints of irritation. “I would never not be honest Brain. I’m not a good liar. Zort! Why are you feeling like this? Did I do something wrong?”

Brain snapped. His emotional barrier came toppling down much quicker than usual as he moved from his husband, eyes flaring. “That’s the problem! You’ve done nothing wrong. You act so kind and considerate of me, Pinky, and I’m afraid that I don’t deserve you at all! That you’d leave me someday because I hurt you! I can’t risk that.” He tried to keep from making a scene, but not much could quell his vicious and sudden sobbing.

Surprisingly, Pinky didn’t overreact. He barely whimpered. He wiped a few small tears from his face before holding onto Brain’s shoulders, making sure not to cause pain to his injury. “You do deserve me, sweetheart. We’re a happier-than-happy couple and we’re in love! I couldn’t think of anyone else to be all mine. You’re amazing! What made you think about all these spooky scary thoughts?”

“Surprisingly, Pinky, it was that.” He pointed to Pinky’s chest, a little hesitation present at revealing his reasoning for his brief emotional crisis.

“My chest? How does my chest make you nervous?”

Brain sighed, rubbing his temple a few times in annoyance. “No Pinky, your chest is…nice. It’s…uh well…it’s your heartbeat.”

Pinky’s confused face shifted to one of slight alarm as he examined his chest. “My heart, Brain? Is something wrong with it? I try to tell it to not be so chatty, but it just can’t help itself. Poit! It loves making those funny noises.”

The megalomaniac couldn’t help but blush and smile a little at Pinky’s naïve nature and trivial comments. “It’s just…set some feelings in me that weren’t there before a few moments ago. That’s really it.”

“Oh! Like the day we became a couple! That was so fun! And so sweet of you! I remember that all the time!” Pinky nuzzled Brain after saying that.

“I appreciate your comments and your unbridled affection for me.” Brain nuzzled Pinky back and pulled him nearer. “But would you ever leave me for someone else? I’d hate to make you feel like I don’t love you when I do…”

“Pish-posh!” Pinky interrupted, happily chuckling afterward. “I love you no matter what happens! Narf! And I’d never leave you! I married you because I knew I’d never hate you! I don’t know how many times I need to say it, but I love you! I love you so much!”

Brain felt more tears coming, but they were far from unhappy ones. He gave his husband a soft kiss on the lips, before settling their noses together. “I love you too Pinky. And I don’t suppose I could…uh…m-maybe do that thing again?”

“Do what?”

With a slight eyeroll, Brain changed his position, so he was sitting perfectly in Pinky’s lap, wrapping an arm around his spouse’s waist. “W-what I meant was that I would…like it very much if we shared an embrace again, like before.” He held his breath for what Pinky would say.

“Of course, darling! I always love hugging you! Even if you grab me by the nose afterward because I almost killed you! Zort! C’mere!”

Without saying another word, Pinky pulled Brain to his chest, settling his head on Brain’s. It wasn’t long before the room grew quiet enough to where Brain could hear Pinky’s heart. However, instead of feeling bizarre, Brain felt a pleasant warmth conquer his senses, leaving his face in a deep red and his eyes widened. The sound was just loud enough to be audible but so soft that he could have easily drifted to sleep. It was the same thing as before, yet all the sweeter. Brain could sense his own heartrate increasing. How was it possible for him to fall more in love with his husband?

When Brain finally lifted his head, he was met with the warmest look he’d ever seen Pinky give him. He couldn’t help but softly smile. They just stared at each other for what felt like hours until Pinky finally spoke up.

“C-can I try it too?” Pinky asked with so much hope.

Brain was very puzzled. “Try what Pinky?”

“Can I listen to your heartbeat thingy? I wanna hear it too. Troz!”

He wasn’t sure how to respond. It had been so long since Pinky had made any remarks on his own heartbeat; ever since they’d gotten married, he remembered. But Brain wasn’t going to tell him no. He wanted Pinky to feel the same way that he’d just felt. But he was still a little apprehensive about how Pinky would react.

“Yes, Pinky. You may. As long as you don’t suck all the oxygen out of me. And please remember my injury, okay?”

Pinky cheered, instantly settling his head beneath Brain’s, and laying his ear against his chest. Brain let out a slight gasp at how quickly his partner had hugged him, but he didn’t want to complain as he planted light, tender kisses on Pinky’s head so that Pinky could feel his love. He already knew his heartbeat was fast, so he hoped Pinky wouldn’t mind.

He was surprised when Pinky pulled away so quickly. Brain was worried he’d done something wrong, although by the way Pinky was staring at him, he could tell Pinky was more amazed than anything.

“Brain! Your heart is sooooo cute! It’s making me swooooon! Poit! It sounds so soft and sweet. Kinda like you!” Pinky purred, his eyes fluttering.  

Brain was flattered by Pinky’s charming words. Though he still thought that their embrace was far from over. “Pinky, dearest, if you’re still up for more… I guess you could continue listening if you so desire.”

The taller mouse perked up, clear excitement showing. “Really? You mean it?”

“Certainly, Pinky. I’d be keen on it if you kept going.” Brain could feel the blush returning to his face.

“Well then I better not waste any more time!”

Pinky was true to his word, grabbing Brain and resting his head on his chest, humming softly as their embrace continued. When Pinky had made the sound, Brain shuddered a bit, his entire body heating up. His husband was very adorable when he was like this, so loving and cuddly.

After a few moments of silence, Pinky finally said something again. “Y-know, Brain. I could stay like this forever and ever. I love your heartbeat. And I love you! I wanna stay with you beyond forever! Narf!”

For once, Brain agreed with his lover, and though it was only one paw, he tried to hold Pinky as tightly as he could. Before he could finally silence himself and just sink into the moment, he responded with words he felt like he’d needed to say all night.

“I love you too, Pinky. And I agree with your statement. I want to remain with you forever too.”

“You mean it, love?”

Brain smiled brightly and kissed Pinky’s head. “Yes. Always yes.”

#pinky and the brain #patb #brinky #animaniacs #valentines day #I originally wanted this to be a short fic but it's over 4000 words lol #thanks to everyone for staying with me!! #this is kinda the anniversary of my first fic so yay!!

[warwickroyals]

what actors would you want to play your characters (nick, coraline, tatiana, irene, louis, katherine, alex, philip, jean, jack, more but these were the first characters that came to mind!) in a hypothetical movie/show of your story?

I have no idea! I've never done a fan casting of characters but I do have some IRL public figures that remind me of certain characters, and I pull inspo for the characters, so I guess I'll just list them all here? So, opinions and comments are welcome, whatever. I can't put a cut because it messes with the formatting of the images, so it's a bit long!

Tatiana - Nicole Kidman, with like the curly hair and stuff, she looks JUST like her!

Nick - He's Jack Schlossberg and, yeah, I know he's not an actor but still!

Coraline - Issa Rae maybe? I don't know. Throw in some Michaela Coel to her features and I think she'd look like her.

Jacqueline - Charlize Theron but when she was in her Evil Queen Era, I don't know if that makes sense.

Courtney - Courtney Love, that's where the name comes from haha!

Jean - I compared Jean to Devon Aoki in canon I guess we just need to give her some hair dye or something

Phillip - Ewan Mcgregor. Obviously with darker hair and eyes. But Phillip has a man crush on Ewan Mcgregor: he took Courtney to the Moulin Rouge premiere and he thought Ewan was a less shrimpy version of himself, especially with the darker hair. I have never had an excuse to talk about this headcanon until now, so.

Shelby - Amy Adams Kirsten Dunst, I don't care if you don't see it, it's literally her.

Zella - Zendaya, that's always been the vision for her

Farrah - A brown version of Barbra Streisand

Katherine - Babe Paley

Ruby - Adriana Caselotti

Irene - Linda Evans ????? With the right wig, it could work!

Phyllis - Joan Collis, keeping with the Dynasty theme, but the same rule for Irene, the right wig will work!

Louis - Charles Dance could probably do it if he grew out his beard and got darker hair. Either him or Brain Cox.

Alex - Finn Jones is like the only guy for the role, I swear, just throw some freckles on him.

Henry - He would be Joseph Gordon Levitt, with the glasses because he's a fucking nerd and he has sort of a baby face like Henry.

James - Henry Cavill, but specifically from the period when he was in The Tudors. Not Clark Kent or The Witcher Henry Cavill. He still looked sort of like a person back then.

So here's your WARWICK (2024) cast. This is like a better version of that AI trend, isn't it?

#warwick.answers #anonymous #long post

[yenvengerberg]

Hello, Becca! I hope you're doing well! Bit of a random question perhaps but since you are a woman of great tastes, I am curious: What are your top 10 favorite shows?? Feel free to add what you like most about them! Thanks for indulging me and keep being amazing <3

hello phoe! hope you're well too<3 i'll be honest, whenever i get this kind of question my mind immediately goes blank and i forget any show i've ever watched, so this is by no means a 'definitive list' because there are definitely things i love that just slip my mind, but here are more shows i've really enjoyed this past year:

the witcher: for the women who take shit from no one and kick ass, but also for the found family vibes. the witcher will always have a special place in my heart, the characters are both fantastic on their own and interacting with each other, and this show will always feel like home to me

shadow and bone: just because i've giffed it a lot this week and it brought back all the feelings. comedy mixed with action, it was just an adventure and a joy. shadow and bone brings back the young adult fantasy nostalgia my brain craves, but injects a freshness of sarcastic comedy into it with the addition of the crows (my beloveds)

yellowjackets: rewired my brain chemistry. it was the biggest surprise of a show for me because i actually thought i really would not vibe with it as it's marketed towards horror and i am a scardy cat who does not vibe with anything horror. and yet, from the first episode it completely grabbed me. the wanting to know what happened next of course, but mostly just getting to see the intricate relationships between girls. there is nothing out there quite like yellowjackets, and for that reason it really is a special one

house of the dragon: divorced lesbians let's go! i love a show that's a tragedy. i love a show where i know the ending and it's inescapable. i love watching everything crumble whilst knowing there is no way out, and yet begging at every second for something to somehow change. just fantastic worldbuilding, fantastic characters, and fantastic relationships to watch burn. if you like angst and pain this one's for you!

our flag means death: i don't think anything exists quite like our flag means death. it's a breath of fresh air in the tv world. there's a character for everyone to love, whatever archetype you fall for. and it's guaranteed to be a rollercoaster of emotions: this show has made me laugh and cry but most importantly it never disappoints

the last of us: show of 2023 for me. i knew very little about the last of us game watching this, and for that reason i was hooked the second i started watching because i just had to know what happened. i still have to know what happens, the wait for 2024 may kill me. just a great action-packed show with the most beautiful acting in existence

good omens: good omens was just a little bit of light in my life this year. where a lot of shows in the currently tv world rely on heavy action sequences, or gore, or even sexual content, good omens challenges that perfectly. it's a light-hearted relief, even silly at times (in the best way possible), but also knows how to make you think and make you cry. i just adore how the plot is done, with a 'present day' storyline but also several stories that run in the past to see how the characters got to where they are now, it's a trope that i very much enjoy

bridgerton: i absolutely love a good period drama. i grew up watching many a jane austen adaptation with my mum, and so there is something incredibly comforting to me about adaptations set in this time. bridgerton is just a good vibe, i know it will make me feel warm and fuzzy inside no matter what drama it also serves on the side. plus kate and anthony? rewrote the definition of chemistry

the umbrella academy: honourable mention to my little superhero show of chaos. if you like superhero shows, watch the umbrella academy. if you don't like superhero shows, watch the umbrella academy. it's a chaotic mix of found family and time travel and trying to save the world and that makes it perfection

merlin: shoutout to this classic because i've been rewatching it lately and damn, they just don't make tv like they used to in the mid to late 2000s. at times it's cheesy, at times it makes you want to bawl your eyes out, and you know what? you'll never know which one it's going to be. it's absolutely ridiculous but entirely fun. once you accept that the bad cgi is hilarious you'll be guaranteed a wonderful show, just take your tissues with you for the sudden gut-punches of emotion it provides

#takaraphoenix #i hope this helps and isn't just me rambling as i often do anyway lol

[urlocalweirdperson1232]

Welcome to the internet Have a look around Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found We've got mountains of content Some better, some worse If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first

Welcome to the internet Come and take a seat Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet? There's no need to panic This isn't a test, haha Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest

Welcome to the internet What would you prefer? Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur? Be happy Be horny Be bursting with rage We got a million different ways to engage

Welcome to the internet Put your cares aside Here's a tip for straining pasta Here's a nine-year-old who died We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports And a bunch of colored pencil drawings Of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other  Welcome to the internet

Hold on to your socks 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock They are grainy and off-putting He just sent you more Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whore

See a man beheaded Get offended, see a shrink Show us pictures of your children Tell us every thought you think Start a rumor, buy a broom Or send a death threat to a boomer Or DM a girl and groom her Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your Here's a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom Here's why women never fuck you Here's how you can build a bomb Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids

Could I interest you in everything? All of the time? A little bit of everything All of the time Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime Anything and everything All of the time

Could I interest you in everything? All of the time? A little bit of everything All of the time Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime Anything and everything All of the time

You know, it wasn't always like this

Not very long ago Just before your time Right before the towers fell, circa '99 This was catalogs Travel blogs A chat room or two We set our sights and spent our nights Waiting For you, you, insatiable you Mommy let you use her iPad You were barely two And it did all the things We designed it to do

Now look at you, oh

Look at you, you, you Unstoppable, watchable Your time is now Your inside's out Honey, how you grew And if we stick together Who knows what we'll do It was always the plan To put the world in your hand

Hahaha Could I interest you in everything? All of the time A bit of everything All of the time Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime Anything and everything All of the time

Could I interest you in everything? All of the time A little bit of everything All of the time Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime Anything and everything And anything and everything And anything and everything And all of the time

"Oh God, here I go. Valentino. Just another fucking day with Val. Hey, hey, hey. Fuck my life."

-Vox, 2024

[onlinereviewhelth]

Pineal Guard Reviews 2024 Does It Really Work?

Pineal Guard Reviews 2024 Are you feeling lost in life, unsure of your purpose in this universe? As we watch others around us become successful one after the other, it is easy to feel left behind, questioning whether we will be able to find our place in this world. Discover a strong and fulfilled you with Pineal Guard.

Pineal Guard is a supplement made to help you on your path to prosperity and abundance. You can support optimal pineal gland function, enhance healthy bodily function, and increase energy levels with just one full dropper of its liquid mix each day.

Pineal Guard Reviews: Product Overview

Pineal Guard is a carefully formulated supplement that aims to boost your pineal gland, popularly known as the “third eye.” The organ is said to be vital for our ability to communicate with the universe and manifest our desires. Pineal Guard contains natural components in precise proportions to promote the proper functioning of your body’s organs, including the pineal gland. But how true are these claims?

Our health experts at Dumb Little Man will delve into extensive research to determine whether Pineal Guard is as effective as it claims to be. The research will involve both scientific evidence on the potency of the ingredients as well as customer testimonials. With this information at hand, we aim to give you an informed evaluation of Pineal Guard and its potential to be a welcome addition to your health goals.

Amazing Reviews from Customers – Find out What They Said!

“Since I started using Pineal Guard, I’ve noticed a significant increase in my energy levels and a clearer sense of direction in my life. It’s as if the fog has lifted, and I’m now able to focus on my goals with unprecedented clarity.” -Carly S. “I was skeptical at first, but after a month of taking Pineal Guard daily, the results speak for themselves. My sleep quality has improved, and I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.” -Harold E. “Using Pineal Guard has been a game-changer for me. Not only has it helped me support my overall health, but it has also encouraged me to adopt a mindset of abundance and prosperity. I feel more energized and motivated to pursue my dreams” -Leizl T.

As soon as they started incorporating Pineal Guard into their daily routine, customers reported significant increases in their mental clarity and vitality. People are now able to pursue their goals with renewed focus and determination because the supplement has successfully removed mental fog. Positive effects like this have improved users’ ability to move efficiently toward their goals by giving them a sense of direction.

Furthermore, Pineal Guard is commended for its capacity to enhance the quality of sleep and induce a sense of renewal upon waking. Due to the supplement’s comprehensive support of their overall health and well-being, users report feeling more driven and energized to pursue their goals. It is widely agreed upon by consumers that Pineal Guard fosters an environment that is favorable to wealth and abundance in addition to improving physical health.

What is Pineal Guard?

Pineal Guard is a supplement that targets the pineal gland, aiming to enhance its functionality. Its target audience eventually grew beyond those who were primarily concerned with spirituality and manifestation. It’s now advised for everyone, not only spiritual searchers, who want to discover abundance, meaning, and purpose in their lives.

The purpose of the supplement is to assist the pineal gland, sometimes known as the “third eye,” which is thought to be an essential brain region for manifestation. Regardless of their spiritual background, Pineal Guard offers to help customers access their manifestation powers. It is predicated on the notion that a pineal gland in optimal functional order can strengthen a person’s connection to the cosmos and create avenues for manifestation.

Pineal Guard is a liquid supplement that supports the pineal gland and general health by combining a variety of natural substances. Among these components are tamarind, ginkgo biloba, chlorella, and pine bark extract. The purpose of the supplement is to support the health of this little but important gland to not only maximize its performance but also perhaps ward off bad luck.

How Does Pineal Guard Work?

Pineal Guard works to protect the pineal gland from both external and internal dangers that could disrupt its regular functioning, which is important for general health. The supplement contains a specific blend of nine natural substances known to improve brain health and function, ultimately maintaining the gland’s health.

Pineal Guard promotes melatonin generation, improves cognitive function, and strengthens the nervous system. By changing the circadian cycle and increasing melatonin levels, as well as increasing serotonin and dopamine levels, the supplement promotes a positive mood and energy, all of which are essential for everyday functioning and well-being.

At a deeper level, the Pineal Guard formula seeks to strengthen the “third eye” connection between the individual and the universe. This relationship is thought to be critical for creating and achieving goals, necessitating a calm, relaxed mind, and healthy brain function. The supplement detoxifies the pineal gland, increasing intuition and universal connectivity, improving sleep, and lowering stress levels, all of which benefit from manifestation.

What are the Benefits of Pineal Guard?

Pineal Guard‘s uniquely crafted formula provides a range of benefits that not only support the pineal gland but overall health and well-being:

Enhancing Cognitive Functions: Ingredients like tamarind, pine bark extract, and ginkgo biloba improve memory, learning, and focus, enhancing overall brain performance.

Inducing Quality Sleep: It normalizes the circadian rhythm and increases melatonin production, needed for healthy sleep patterns, thus promoting restful sleep.

Elevating Mood and Energy: It enhances mood and energy, me2aking daily tasks feel less tiresome by reducing stress and boosting serotonin levels.

Supporting Nervous System Health: It also supports the nervous system, ensuring smooth communication between the nervous and hormonal systems.

Cleansing the Pineal Gland: It includes detoxifying compounds that flush out toxins, improving the gland’s function and contributing to better cognition and sleep.

Boosting Spiritual Awareness: It strengthens your connection with the spiritual world and helps align you with the universe to manifest abundance and wealth.

Regulating Blood Pressure: It normalizes blood pressure levels, supporting heart health and circulation.

Supporting Immunity: It has immune-boosting ingredients that enhance the function of immune cells, helping the body combat illnesses more effectively.

Why is Pineal Guard Effective?

Dumb Little Man health experts mention several reasons why Pineal Guard enhances pineal gland health and well-being. First, Pineal Guard detoxifies and improves the pineal gland. Our sleep-wake cycle and mental balance depend on this tiny yet strong gland’s melatonin. In the current world, harmful substances and bad lifestyle choices can impair the pineal gland’s performance, making Pineal Guard’s preventive and regenerative qualities vital.

Second, Pineal Guard detoxifies pollutants that can calcify the pineal gland. Calcium buildup affects the gland’s function, affecting sleep and our worldview. Pineal Guard removes these obstacles to optimize gland function, improving intuition and the deep, cosmic connection many seek. Healing is necessary for spiritual and mental health.

Benefits include better sleep and less stress with Pineal Guard. Positive thinking and manifestation are possible with relaxation. A balanced life requires greater sleep and less stress, which this supplement provides. Dumb Little Man’s health experts say Pineal Guard’s holistic approach to well-being—integrating sleep, stress reduction, and gland function—is effective.

What are the Ingredients in Pineal Guard?

Pineal Guard stands out with its rich tapestry of natural components, each selected for their unique benefits, especially concerning the optimization of the pineal gland:

Pine Bark Extract: It aims to support cerebral blood flow and protect the pineal gland from environmental toxins that can hinder its function.

Tamarind: Its fluoride-detoxifying properties assist in mitigating fluoride accumulation, thereby preserving the gland’s health and promoting better sleep patterns.

Chlorella: It cleanses the body of pollutants that can adversely affect the pineal gland.

Ginkgo Biloba: It promotes blood flow to the brain, which includes the pineal gland, ensuring it is well-nourished and can effectively regulate melatonin production.

Spirulina: It supports the immune system and provides antioxidant benefits, contributing to a healthier environment for the pineal gland to thrive.

Lion’s Mane Mushroom: It can support the brain’s overall health, indirectly benefiting the pineal gland.

Bacopa Monnieri: It reduces stress-induced calcification of the pineal gland, thereby preserving its health and functionality.

Moringa: It supports the body’s detox pathways and provides nutritional support that complements the health of the pineal gland.

Neem: It aids in protecting the pineal gland from potential toxins and infections, ensuring its optimal function within the endocrine system.

Who is Pineal Guard Best for?

Pineal Guard is best for a wide range of people, not only those familiar with manifestation and spirituality. It now helps people manifest abundance and positive change. The Pineal Guard supplement supports your manifestation goals, whether you’re an experienced practitioner or just interested in improving your well-being and attracting riches.

The liquid Pineal Guard solution is convenient to use in regular activities. For convenience in wellness, it can be consumed directly or mixed with water, tea, coffee, or juice. Pineal Guard’s easy-to-consume formula makes it appealing to a wide range of users from varied backgrounds.

For maximum benefits, take Pineal Guard in the morning, which matches the body and mind’s natural rhythms. Before using, shake the bottle to ensure the components are well-mixed and each drop contains the whole formula. This product is ideal for busy people who want to improve their health and energy due to its simple instructions.

Pineal Guard’s user profile has grown over time. It was once thought to be only useful for spiritual practitioners, but it now helps anybody improve their mental clarity, sleep, and manifestation. The growing yearning for deeper connection and fulfillment in life makes Pineal Guard a relevant and supportive supplement for a varied and expanding user group looking to unlock their full potential

Pineal Guard Pros and Cons

Pineal Guard Costs and Discounts

Pineal Guard is only available on its official website. Available in three purchase options, Pineal Guard can be shipped internationally. Purchasing the 3 or 6-bottle package will include 2 freebies: “Third Eye Enhancer E-book” and “Psychic Gifts Audio Series”.

1 bottle for $69 + $9.99 shipping fee (US) or $19.99 (international)

3 bottles for $177 at $59 each + free US shipping

6 bottles for $294 at $49 each +free US shipping

Pineal Guard Refund Policy

The creators of Pineal Guard are so certain it will transform users’ lives that they offer a 100% money-back guarantee. If users don’t feel healthier, more vibrant, and younger-looking if they don’t notice an increase in financial opportunities if their love life doesn’t improve or if they don’t attract their soulmate, or if they don’t experience enhanced psychic abilities, greater happiness, and more freedom, they can receive a full refund up to one year after purchase, no questions asked.

Conclusion

According to health experts at Dumb Little Man, after analyzing scientific data and Pineal Guardcustomer reviews, Pineal Guard appears to be a good solution for those who not only want to improve their pineal health but also to bridge their spiritual selves to the cosmos, ultimately feeling a more motivated and renewed sense of self. Its natural and GMO-free formula reassures consumers that the supplement is effective while remaining safe for consumption.

It does have some drawbacks, however, like how results vary from person to person and how it’s only available on Pineal Guard’s official website. That said, these downsides do not outweigh the reported benefits of Pineal Guard. With it boosting overall wellness — sleep quality, cognitive function, and spiritual awareness among others — Pineal Guard becomes a viable option for those seeking to enhance both physiological and spiritual wellness.

Pineal Guard Reviews FAQs

Does Pineal Guard work even if I have tried other spiritual practices or health supplements without success?

Of course! Pineal Guard is distinguished by its unique dropper recipe, which has been specifically designed to regenerate your pineal gland. It’s a game changer for people who haven’t had success with other spiritual activities or health products, offering your body something new and effective that releases toxins and unlocks your inner hidden potential without requiring any lifestyle adjustments.

What happens when the pineal gland is activated?

When the pineal gland is activated and starts working properly, it will respond to light and darkness, to restore our natural circadian rhythm. It will release melatonin when there is darkness and will help you sleep.

What does the pineal gland do spiritually?

According to this Pineal Guard review, the pineal gland is the all-powerful “third eye that connects you with the universe. It is associated with spirituality, psychic powers, and manifestation, and will help you achieve your goals this way.

Pineal Guard: An Overview

Pineal Guard is a naturally occurring compound found in the pineal gland, a small organ located in the brain. It has been shown to have a variety of health benefits, including improving sleep, mood, cognitive function, and immune health. Pineal Guard is also thought to play a role in aging and melatonin production.

The Role of Pineal Guard in Sleep

Pineal Guard is known to promote sleep by increasing the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate the body's sleep-wake cycle. Studies have shown that people who take Pineal Guard supplements experience improved sleep quality and duration.

Pineal Guard and Its Effects on Mood

Pineal Guard has also been shown to have positive effects on mood. Studies have found that people who take Pineal Guard supplements experience reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression. This is thought to be due to Pineal Guard's ability to increase serotonin levels in the brain.

Pineal Guard and Cognitive Function

Pineal Guard has been shown to improve cognitive function in both healthy individuals and those with cognitive impairments. Studies have found that people who take Pineal Guard supplements experience improved memory, attention, and focus. This is thought to be due to Pineal Guard's ability to protect the brain from damage and improve blood flow to the brain.

Pineal Guard and Immune Health

Pineal Guard has also been shown to boost immune health. Studies have found that people who take Pineal Guard supplements experience reduced symptoms of colds and flu. This is thought to be due to Pineal Guard's ability to increase the production of white blood cells, which are essential for fighting off infection.

Pineal Guard and Aging

Pineal Guard is thought to play a role in aging. Studies have found that people who have higher levels of Pineal Guard experience slower aging and have a reduced risk of age-related diseases. This is thought to be due to Pineal Guard's ability to protect the body from oxidative damage and inflammation.

Pineal Guard and Melatonin Production

Pineal Guard is essential for melatonin production. Melatonin is a hormone that helps regulate the body's sleep-wake cycle. Studies have shown that people who take Pineal Guard supplements experience increased levels of melatonin, which can lead to improved sleep quality and duration.

Pineal Guard in Traditional Medicine

Pineal Guard has been used in traditional medicine for centuries to treat a variety of conditions, including sleep disorders, mood disorders, and cognitive impairments. In traditional Chinese medicine, Pineal Guard is known as "yin yang huo" and is used to treat insomnia, anxiety, and depression.

Pineal Guard and Modern Research

Modern research has confirmed many of the traditional uses of Pineal Guard. Studies have shown that Pineal Guard can improve sleep quality, mood, cognitive function, and immune health. Pineal Guard is also thought to play a role in aging and melatonin production.

Pineal Guard Supplements and Dosages

Pineal Guard supplements are available in a variety of forms, including capsules, tablets, and liquids. The recommended dosage of Pineal Guard is 100-200 mg per day. Pineal Guard supplements should be taken at night before bedtime to promote sleep.

Pineal Guard and Potential Side Effects

Pineal Guard is generally safe to take, but it can cause some side effects, including nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Pineal Guard supplements should not be taken by people who are pregnant or breastfeeding.

Future Directions in Pineal Guard Research

Pineal Guard is a promising natural compound with a variety of health benefits. Future research is needed to further investigate the effects of Pineal Guard on sleep, mood, cognitive function, immune health, and aging. Pineal Guard is a safe and effective natural compound that can provide a variety of health benefits. If you are looking for a natural way to improve your sleep, mood, cognitive function, or immune health, Pineal Guard may be a good option for you.

[incarnateirony]

Do you take medication for mania? Or something similar. I'm concerned

Do you realize you're talking to a licensed psych worker that uses these skills professionally? That gets monthly mental health checks?

You fearing things is your problem.

Maybe you should go get my ex medicated I've been trying to drag off me on every level, the one that thought she was channeling a god by speaking anime jibberish. The lady that built a cult to me because she got all fucked up and thought I was Hermes, rather than understanding the first thing about metempsychosis or transmigration. The cult I'm fighting to get disbanded.

Go medicate those people.

Hate to break it to you guys, not all paths are spoopy crystal spitting, some actually lead somewhere, mine is with The God Of Psychology and that's what I do professionally. Mkay? Mkay. Shoo.

Like. Go argue with a therapist about Jung. Or go to princeton and yell at them about their related projects. Hey go yell at Stanford about the project my mom was in. And the CIA and DOD that work with them, go yell at the government too. This is clearly the licensed professional psych worker being nuts, and not being surrounded by mountains of frightened idiots wanting to tumblr politique their way out of everything.

The current conversation in question is me trying to explain to her, which apparently I motherfucking have to, that my brain is my brain, and her brain is her brain, and they are different brains and different family histories, and she got herself all fucked up trying to channel my 2009 hot topic jesus design of "hermes" I used to self explore and convincing other people about it.

The entire motherfuckin point is I grew up and got the answers, she's still stuck spitting on crystals and seeing the goddess in random cats rather than recognizing she's disassociating her own shit into random animals 24/7.

What's got you all fucked up is that normally degreed magi of this level keep our shit low key, cryptic at best, and generally off main, you don't get to see us losing our nut on profoundly addicted abusive stalker exes chasing them for 3 years and building funky cults to them and trying to tug on their brain. This is actually why she tried the "closed lodge" complaints even though she knew me 20 years and lived with me on-off for like six. She just drove the other way into channeling roleplay land, because Real Psychology Is Scawwy And Hard, and now she's eating consequences. And my cognitive dick, apparently.

This blog been here like eight years and only in the year of our lord 2024 have you guys gotten a whiff of this for a few months. Unlike her, my beliefs didn't randomly change day to day drastically. Evolved with understanding, but not changed. This is absolutely the same person everyone followed, I've just been harassed and stalked into this being the only means to speak for my liberty from this psychonaut.

I repeat. I and everything she was after walked out on her three years ago and she keeps trying to shove my proverbial water in her pot to fill the void instead of finding it in herself. Her even getting rid of me was running from the drawn boundaries at that time, and the hard work involved to face these issues, which she's made infinitely deeper since after grooming in newbies that don't know her 20 years of history. She's attached herself so far up my ass she got tricked into wasting half a year of her life in a furry porn server bugging an old friend of a friend to start shit to try to get at my business investor and game server. Deadass, it's over, we're not motherfucking doing this again, in this lifetime or the next.

And you know what? telling uneducated morons I do not fucking care about your opinion, I care about my protoges being hurt by her, and my legacy she's actively mutilating the works of, and my identity, a hundred times fucking more than keeping tame for you motherfuckers. Most liberating goddamn thing I've ever done.

No seriously deadass I work for one of the most major psych providers nationwide, and my tags at work have legit looked like @ Aaron Lord Mercury @ Aaron Lord Mercury @ Aaron Lord Mercury, Aaron why are you breaking things, we can't go a day around here without blaming Lord Mercury In The Microwave for something with how weird it's been. Okay? That's what the psych pros that are pulling people off bridges they're trying to jump off of say. Figure it the fuck out.

I've deadass had to correct my boss "I know you come from a long history of crisis intervention and psych-" "I mean, yes and no, I come from crisis core, I just studied this for 25 years alone." "You've... never done psychology work before?" "Not in this kind of professional capacity, no." "What? Your rates are above [essentially the people who have PHDs in it filling a resume spot], how?" "One Neat Trick." I have off-work DM boxes with my coworkers who have been following this shit, and protip, they don't think I'm nuts, because they know my Works, even if they knew it from the atheistic angle and are now questioning the alchemical one as real while she peels apart and denies it.

I'm surrounded by graded psych professionals at various capacities all day. I AM a psych professional. What you are encountering is a concept so far above your fucking head, you can't compute it without fear and concern trolling. If you'd like, my private rate is 60 dollars an hour and I can therapize you about that, but until fucking then, maybe you should grok that this shit is real. And the day you reach your psychic limit and consider ending things and dial out for help, it just may be me and this shit you don't understand guiding you back home. Shit, even if it's not me I've been asked to update the training for newbies because of what I do. So even if it's not me, it'll still be my works catching you or your loved ones. You're welcome.

Yeah guys, they keep asking me to apply to supervisor and I keep declining because I'd rather apply my Works to guiding and saving people directly since I have weirdly unique success for Some Reason, rather than approving people's breaks all day and sending suggestions mid-crisis on how to maybe help someone I'm not actually connected to.

You guys hear lately a lot of people passing out to a specific song, or being dragged in dream to a familiar place, where the warriors are fighting funny spectres matching the current real life plot threads, and the genuinely suicidal people are waking up with the "villain" slapping them with anti-self harm and anti-suicide books? IT'S YA BOI, 2009 HOT TOPIC JESUS SHE REFUSES TO MOVE ON FROM.

Where's that music coming from?????

[smilecancure]

February 26th. 2024.

There's so much I wanted to write, to say, to get things out of my chest these past few weeks, but I dont have the energy to do it. Or when I do, my brain decided to turn blank and I will end up not knowing what to write. Like now. But I guess, i'll just try my best.

Anyway, I found my old blog and the latest post was in March 2nd, 2019. It was about how I could not believe I was currently in medical school, revising my Pharmacology notes on antihypertensive drugs. The last few sentences were me comforting myself that more tough things will come but I will survive, and the post ended with;

"Hang in there, buddy. You got this."

Oh, look at you, having your own back since day 1.

So this is 2024 Awatif telling you, 2019 Awatif, that things did get tough. Hell, it was so tough and rough, it left you crying yourself to sleep, in the shower. You started to have countless self-doubts whether you'll make it or not, your circle of friends will disappoint you and gave you heartbreaks, you talked less and grew quiet among the people you once felt comfortable with.

But one thing for sure is that, it gets better. You know better. You deal with those problems better. Big news: You graduated!! You passed all your theory papers in year 5 and also your final Professional Exam!! Which was a big deal! You graduated medical school within 5 years and God knows how much you struggled for it.

You did survive medical school. And I am so proud of you. Really.

And not just that, you had so so so many blessings came your way. Too many to count, indeed. You didn't get the chance to go to Bangkok, but God has different plans for you, you went to South Korea and Japan instead!?

As of now, you just resigned from your first job ever! Heck girl, you even got a job! Though it was only for 3 months, but it was impressive cuz you thought you would just survive for one week lolol. We are now waiting for HO placement--which you still havent decided the place for you to do at--and i guess, we will definitely be meeting tough times again.

But hey at least, we know that we have each other's own back. Like we always do.

[the-cat-chat]

February 10, 2024

Her (2013)

In a near future, a lonely writer develops an unlikely relationship with an operating system designed to meet his every need.

JayBell: Ten years ago the plot of this movie really creeped me out. And now, with the talk of AI inescapable, it's even creepier. Why? Because the plot doesn't seem as unbelievable as it did ten years ago. The more time passes and the more AI advances, the idea of AI-human relationships becomes more likely. So this Valentine's month, I decided to face my fears.

What surprised me about this movie is how it actually did feel like two people in a relationship. Going into this, I imagined it being about a human who projects his own emotions onto an AI, where the AI doesn't feel like a true partner. But aside from the AI's initial birth triggered from his actions, she quickly grew and advanced so much that I couldn't help but feel like she did have power and agency in her own right. I didn't see her as simply an extension of our main guy.

If you break down the challenges in their relationship, honestly they aren't as unique as you might think. One challenge is her lack of body. Well there are people in reality who are paralyzed or don't want physical intimacy, and they also have to figure out what intimacy looks like for them if it isn't physical.

Another challenge is AI's capacity for love (even if her capacity is well beyond a human's). In reality, there are people who love more than one person at a time, and in those situations, the people involved need to figure out if that's something they are comfortable with.

Another challenge is AI's ability to evolve at a rate that humanity (and our main guy) can't keep up with. That happens with humans too. You can outgrow your partner. You can have two very different perspectives on life, so different that you can't understand each other or find common ground.

Overall, this movie is way sadder than I thought it would be. It's less about trying to figure out if an AI can be a person or if it's possible for an AI to love. It's more about learning that love comes with pain, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

I think the acting is great, the cinematography is beautiful, and the story is unique and well thought out. At the same time, there are parts that are hard to watch/listen to, and it's very intense.

Long story short--it make my brain hurted. I know Anzie will probably rate this much lower, but honestly, sometimes a movie needs to melt my brain for me to feel its impact.

Rating: 7/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Well. All I can really say is throughout this chaotic week I have been retraumatized at random when my brain relaxes and stops blocking this movie from my brain. And I hate to be a loser bc it’s a very interesting idea and concept- as well as all the commentary on humans and our relationships, plus there’s all really good acting and all the filming and the color scheming and just everything. Ok it’s great! And I’m a loser. I’m too weak. There were points I wished my skin was being removed instead bc it was so incredibly weird. There I said it. If you’re looking for an EXPERIENCE, than it’s definitely this movie. Also Joaquin Phoenix is never allowed to be above the 50% hotness level while appearing completely normal for once- I blame the mustache( and that’s a troubling concern for myselllffff) and ScarJo can’t be a just floating, disembodied voice. And her “laughing” bc they were falling in love and flirting hurt my soul deeply.

Rating: 5.5/10 Cats 🐈

#movie #movie review #film #film review #joaquin phoenix

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep.5)

Summary:  you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4344

Episode: five

Warning: violence, nudity, needles, descriptions of injury

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Four

Time: unknown

Date: unknown

You knew they had full control over you. There was nothing you could do even though you were conscious all the time, your body did what they wanted but your brain screamed against it. There were times where they’d ask you to do the impossible, they’d make you climb the tallest tree in the forest that surrounded the building and then make you jump down without anything to catch you, you’d land and your ankle would break; the worst was when they told you to break it back in place. 

It was like you were sat in a large chair as you watched your life unfold in the cell, your wrists were strapped to this imaginary chair so you couldn’t reach out to block the punch, ankles were clasped so you couldn’t run away. You never became lucid, it was always you watching through the shell of your body. Crying yourself to sleep wasn’t an option, you weren’t allowed to cry, or laugh, or scream, or smile; you were dead on the outside. The feeling of control was so close but yet so far away. 

There was a moment, just a moment. More I.C.E. had just been injected as you hung from the cuff restraints, you swung lightly as you dangled there. The cell door closed and the silence you were left with was getting louder by the second, your brain starting to pound like it always did and right at the back of your head near the bottom began to pulse, like you were being stabbed. The pain, hunger, exhaustion built up until that one moment, your eyes were slowly closing but as they closed you could see something right in front of you, something was moving. You couldn’t reach out to touch it because you were chained but as you crossed your eyes all you saw was a little black thing slightly swinging with you. 

It was the tip of your nose. 

Your fingers had also begun to blacken, it was about to hit your first knuckle. 

That was when you let the control fully go to the I.C.E. flowing in your veins, the power to keep yourself above water was only getting more and more tiring. No one had tried to save you so they probably were never going to come. Part of you thought Bucky would be there in less than a day, he’d break walls and towers for you, but it might have just been words to make you think he loved you, just sounds put together as a fake. 

Time: 6:10am

Date: October 3rd 2024

“Darling, It’s me, It’s Bucky, you’re safe now.” Bucky spoke softly, he flickered between your eyes and nose. You didn’t say anything, just looked right through him. “I will not fight you, but we need to get out of here, we have to go.” He urged, right when he finished talking you stepped forward, he was shocked to see you move, it was rigid and robotic. “Baby, explain what’s going on, please baby?” Bucky stepped forward and reached out, his hand lightly touched your shoulder but he studied your face as he did so. Your nose would have scrunched up but with the lack of that it was just your eyebrows that pulled together. Bucky looked around the room to try and find any sign of how to get you out of your trance; the papers he flicked through were now getting thoroughly read through. All you did was stare at him, waiting for a command. 

“Bucky, it’s all clear down here, some got away though,” Steve breathed heavily as he spoke through the coms. “There's this guy who looked to be the head and he got away, didn’t get a good look at him.” 

Bucky turned to you, “who’s the leader here?”

“No one gave their name.” You answer quickly. 

“What did he look like?” Bucky left the papers and walked to you, he grabbed a lab coat on the way to cover your scared and naked body. 

“Slick black hair. Black eyes. Heart shaped face. No facial hair. Slit through his left eyebrow. Hydra ring on his finger.” Your eyes closed as you computed the man who poured the ice water on you multiple times. “Height: six foot. Weight: around one eighty. Scars, markings, tattoos: none.” Bucky watched you in shock, “any other specifics, James?” 

“N-no, well done.” He nodded and threw the coat around you, “we’re going to leave now, okay?” Bucky took your hand and led you toward the door. 

Your feet tread silently while Bucky’s combat boots echoed three times down the grey hallway, it scared you every time he’d step. With every loud sound came a hard punch, it was a way for you to brace yourself when they’d catch you talking about your past life. As you walked closer to the doors your fingers found their way to the walls, still grey like the floor but clean, the floor was covered in dead bodies and blood from the invasion. 

The doctors and agents you knew were slumped over against the wall or splayed out in the middle of the hallways, some people’s blood had congealed while others still created a larger pool around the Hydra operatives. The smell of death didn’t read on your face but it did on Bucky’s, the smell of the inside of your cell just carried out here it seemed like. You were unaware of your smell, part of you thought it was the lack of nose but the other knew it was the lack of fresh air and being surrounded by copious amounts of blood. 

“Where to, Sergeant Barnes?” the feeling of someone holding your hand was foreign, his thumb kept swiping back and forth.

“Call me Bucky,” he looked back with sorrow in his eyes. You stopped walking and lowered your head, “what are you doing?” he asked. 

“Waiting for punishment,” you spoke softly, knowing they went easier on you if you knew you messed up. There’d be times where you’d push your luck and stare them down but once you grew tired of being tough you head would bow and you waited for the strike, it was now a reaction to any type of dissatisfactory.

“No, no punishment anymore,” his eyes filled with tears and he brought you under his arms, his lips kissed the crown of your head as he opened the doors. He kept you under his arm as he opened them, metal arm gripping right on your forearm. 

The sun was barely meeting the surface and yet you had to squint to adjust, everything had a hue of red. The grass felt foreign under your bare feet as you stepped off the tiles and into nature, your toes gripped the leaves and grass as they walked. Your lungs felt like they were about to explode with the intake of fresh air, your nose could still work but it was slightly harder to breathe, the cool wind blew into your mouth and gripped the back of your throat which made you double over to the cough. Your knee popped out of the front slit on the closed lab coat, you were used to feeling naked and vulnerable; Bucky was the one to close it again. 

Steve, Wanda, and Nat all stood by the jet.

Wanda screamed your name and ran up to you, her arms pulled you into a tight hug but you curled in and waited for the strike. She pulled away and the feeling of rigidness, “y/n?” She questioned, her hand coming to cup your cheek but you stepped back and held your hand up for protection. Wanda brought her hands into her chest, she looked between Bucky and you but Bucky just shook his head with a few tear tracks present on his face; Wanda was beginning to develop her own after she looked back at you before turning away. 

You didn’t really know why everyone was crying, “Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximof.” your head slightly bowed, you looked over her to see the others behind her shoulder, “Captain Steve Rogers and Natasha Rominoff, a pleasure.” Their faces seemed worried and Nat looked disgusted, she brought her hand to cover her mouth as she walked up the steps to the jet. 

Wanda got your attention again, “hello, we’re going to take you home, alright?” Wanda took your hand, “do you remember me?” 

“From?” was all you said as you made it into the jet. Wanda covered sob with her hand as she turned away from you to sit beside Nat, she was also crying.

Steve didn’t even look at you, he walked straight to Bucky. Steve caught him right as Bucky’s knees were buckling, Bucky caught onto Steve and they both slowly made it to the ground. It seemed like they guided each other, both holding onto one another for dear life. It was a common understanding, grief was written on both of them. 

“She’s fucking gone, Steve!” Bucky cried into Steve’s uniform, the blue turning navy with the tears. “She called me James! She doesn’t know who I am, I can't- I don know- what did they-”

“Bucky, it’s alright,” Steve calmed him as Bucky began to hyperventilate, “we’re going to get her back, I promise.” Steve gripped onto Bucky’s shoulders and they both stood, a little wobbly but both were extremely tired and light headed. “I’ll handle everything,” they walked to the jet, “just be there for her and I figure everything else out, alright?” Steve made Bucky look at him. 

“Sure…” was all Bucky could muster. 

They all made it to the jet, you were placed in a room off to the right. Bucky went right in there to see you curled on the ground when there was an examination table in the middle of the room, he kneeled beside you and ghosted a hand down your shin to try and get your attention. 

“It’s Bucky, let’s sit up on the table, okay?” Bucky eased but you didn’t move, his eyes closed as he fought with himself. He didn’t want to abuse your injected substance, but he really needed you on the exam table to check your wounds. “On the exam table.” he didn’t speak harshly or yell, it was just Bucky’s normal tone. 

You shot up instantly and sat on the edge of the table, your legs hung off it and the lab coat was forgotten, it was still around you but it seemed you were told to be naked so often it became second nature. Bucky turned toward you and stood between your legs so he could get a good look at you, he could tell you were staring deep into his eyes, he didn’t want to look in yours yet, he wanted to look you deep in the eyes and have you pull him in for a kiss, maybe it was selfish but he needed it. 

“I’m going to do something called a head-to-toe check,” he informed but he knew you knew what this was. He slipped on the disposable gloves, “I know you have cuts and scars but I need to find active bleeding first, alright?” Bucky held up his hands to show nothing was on the gloves. “Tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“Nothing is-”

“That’s an order.” Bucky added, “I’m commanding you to tell me if you don’t want me touching somewhere,” he knew he had checked you, there might be a way you could find a loophole in his command and get him further from a checkmate but he was making progress. 

His hands gently tapped all around you, he was asking questions as he did so but you didn’t answer any of them. You were now looking straight forward, when Bucky looked to your face for any sign of his girl you’d give no hints or answer. His hands worked down to your chest, he hesitated over your breasts but you gave no indication that you were uncomfortable, when he looked for bumps, bruises, or blood he didn’t find much, just scratch marks that looked old. He did the same when he hit your waist, not a lot of touching but looking, it wasn’t thorough but he knew you wouldn’t say anything and he might trigger you again. 

His gloves weren’t picking up much, most cuts were partly healed and the bruises were very noticeable. Part of a head-to-toe check is seeing how the victim reacts to the pressure, if you tap their stomach and they flinch it could be internal bleeding or a broken rib, but you weren’t giving any sign of hurt. He knew you could feel the broken bones and the bruises but you would never tell him in the mindset you’re in. he watched for little twitches in the eye or some type of pull away from him wherever he touched, Bucky wanted to reach in and find your brain so that you could tell him what hurts; he wanted to help you so bad. 

“Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” Bucky asked as he picked up your left leg, turning and examining it. He found a deep red mark on the edge of a purple bruise on your ankle, there was the exact same one on the other and on your wrists. He pushed away your hair and moved the lab coat back to find a massive bruise with cuts all around your neck, it was impeccable your vocal chords weren’t fried after being put in that cuff contraption. 

“Gone from where?” you asked robotically, you didn’t even look at him. 

Bucky was taken back by your answer, he stumbled with his hands as he switched legs. “F-from home, y/n. Shield, home?” 

“Hydra is my home, it was where I was created.” your head turned to allow your eyes to lock with Bucky’s. 

Part of him wanted to scream and shake your head so hard it might knock a memory back in place, he wanted to tell you of your story and how you both grew. Bucky wanted to tell you about the drawings you do with Steve or the boxing in the early mornings, he wanted to overflow you with emotions but he knew they’d hit a brick wall. 

Bucky finished his exam but he needed to keep you for himself for a little longer, he pretended to check your pupils and pulse three more times but all he wanted was to feel the warmth of your skin. His eyes would catch the tip of your nose swinging as he moved you slightly, he had an entire set of questions just for that. But he just kept looking at you for no reason. He’d ask if you’re cold and you’d say no, he’d ask if you were hungry and you’d say no. he’d ask if you were thirsty, you’d say no. 

So he stopped asking, “drink this water.” He pulled the little water bottle from the back of his belt loop, the little tear drop shaped bottle fit perfectly in her hands. 

You grasped the frosted bottle, it seemed familiar to you. You never got water in your cell, you’d have to suck on the floor after the doctor left; they’d always wake you up by dumping ice water on your head. Calloused fingers gripped and felt the bottle, something was happening in your brain that you couldn't quite understand, you were feeling something deep within you. 

“Drink.” Bucky said again. 

“Wait,” you whispered, all you saw was black form shutting your eyes so tight. You didn’t see Bucky’s face as he waited to see if this water bottle would trigger something from right before you were taken, this was the water bottle you had introduced to the group. 

A picture was unfolding in your head, it was a big room with people all around. There was a couch that some were sitting on while one stood in front of them, the one standing was smiling. The people on the couch were leaned in to listen, some held their chin in their hand as they too, were also smiling. The little bottle of water you were holding was also in this picture, the one standing seemed to be presenting it like a game show host, showing it off as if it was new. The picture began to move and the people standing took a seat next to another person, they cuddled close and began whispering to each other with iggles in between. A pen made its way across the couch and ended up at the two who looked like a couple, one wrote a heart next to their name while the other did it normally. 

Your eyes shot open at the sound of the pop, you were squeezing the bottle so hard it exploded. Your eyes frantically searched around and when they landed on the other set of eyes in the room you lunged for a hug. 

“Bucky!” you screamed, “thank you!” You wrapped your arms around him so tight. Bucky hesitated before clinging to you like a life source, “I thought it would’ve taken you longer,” you sighed into his touch. 

“We left you there for too long,” Bucky whispered, his face his deep in your neck.

You pulled away with tears in your eyes, you looked to him but he kept looking down, “is there something on my nose?” you asked, Bucky was looking between your eyes and nose. Your finger went to touch but pulled away at the feeling of something dangling, “what is that?” you screamed and felt it again. 

“It’s the injection side effect, I think.” Bucky added he felt around your face to try and see if you were actually real or if this was some sick joke Wanda was playing on him. 

“What injection? They just took my blood once so far,” you shrugged and felt the back on your head, “there was a scab there before, it hurts like crazy, like a pulsing thing.'' You brought your other hand back to try and find that scab you felt what seemed like hours ago. Your hair felt dirtier than the last time you remembered, it was one big clump when you moved it.

“Sit down.” Bucky said, you moved back on the seat without a second thought.

With wide eyes you looked up to Bucky, “I didn’t want to sit...Bucky what did you do?” you asked, it looked like you were glued there as you tried to get off. 

“What day is it?” Bucky asked cautiously, his hands coming back to cup your face. 

“September twenty third, I didn’t hit my head it’s not a con-”

“It's October third.” Bucky breathed out, “oh my god…” he whispered and pulled you into another hug, he gently rubbed your back as you stayed rigid in his hold. 

The plane began to drop and Bucky knew it was just landing but with everything rushing against you like a title wave it felt like the plane was crashing. Bucky held you tight as you slashed around in his grip, pleads to any higher power you could think of to keep you alive didn’t seem to work. The plane froze and you stayed gripped to Bucky, he brought you out of the medical room. The three others just looked at you, not wanting to get their hopes up. But when you ran over to them and asked what day it was they seemed to be more disappointed, they just pulled you in for a hug and tried to calm you down like Bucky did. 

All at once medical staff open the jet doors, people rushing to you and you. Bucky was trying to cut through the crowd to get to you but medical staff were getting in the way and holding him back, he could see your frantic search for him. 

“You’re gonna trigger her, s-stop, this isn’t-”

A medical staff member flew back and knocked a few others over, everyone began to calm down and slow their moments. You were right over the person you pushed trying to help them up, apologizing profusely, they kept moving back and away from you. 

“Y-you were holding a needle, I’m sorry.” you eased. 

“Sedate her!” another yelled. 

You ran down and out of the jet to try and get away from the many needles that, what seemed like, every medical member was holding. There was just noise surrounding you, vision began to tunnel right when the pounding in your ears began, at the back of your head there seemed to be a knife stabbing you. 

“Get a gurney!” the voice cut through the shouts and chasing. 

Everything stopped and you froze from your worried state to complete your mission, someone ordered you to find a gurney, you must complete it. There was one waiting outside, you walked over with your back straight and your chin up. There was no need to look behind you shoulder but you did so anyway to make sure no threats were also in need of the gurney, everyone behind you was just still and watched you. This must be a test, after that realization you did everything quickly and efficiently to avoid punishment. 

When you brought the gurney to the voice who shouted it they told you to get on as well, Bucky was by your side and offering an arm to help get on but you didn’t take it. People were shouting orders to one another and you kept trying to get up to fulfill the command but Bucky kept holding you down. Some medical staff were trying to shove him away but he stood his ground and kept a hand holding you.

“Why do I keep wanting to do all these things?” you frantically aske as you tried to stand again.

“I’ll explain later, don’t worry,” he squeezed your hand as you made it into your exam room. Hands felt all around you, the lab coat was long forgotten so you sat on the table naked. Bucky was right against the wall and kept an eye on you, though your brain was next to scrambled eggs he could still read you like a book.

“We need to take some blood, might also need to give something to sedate her.” it was, what looked like, the head of this team that spoke.

Another picture flashed before your eyes. The needles and this blue liquid that went into you. Bucky had told you something called ‘ice’ but you didn’t know what that meant. Blood would be taken from you then without you looking, they would stick whatever serum Bucky was talking about in your arm. Voices and sounds rushed into your head as these pictures moved and changed to show that you weren’t there for as long as you thought you were, in your mind a different doctor repeated the same motions over and over and over again. You were covered in water and somebody was talking over you from inside of the cell, their voice seemed as though they too were underwater so you couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but one part stood out. They were saying how they did this all without you noticing, how you were too confident, how you were strong and yet you’d look away from the needles when they were stuck into your arm. 

All of these people who you failed to remember that were surrounding you now, all had needles and some had already taken your blood, but you were going to be cautious now, you were going to be aware because you didn’t want to forget everything again. Before anyone could stick anything else in you, your arms flew out to the side and gripped as many syringes as you could, they were smashed to the ground and the clear liquid spilled and dripped on the floor. People were beginning to hold you down but you broke free from their dead grass pushing away the velcro straps that were about to go around your ankles and wrists.

Someone managed to get a strap on your left ankle without you noticing, that sensation of being cuffed made another picture float in your mind. It was a large metal contraption with silver Cuban links and five cuffs, two around your wrists, two around your ankles, and the final one went around your neck. Once they were all attached to you, you were suspended in the air as your entire body weight was being held up by your limbs and neck, even though only one bound was attached to you now, you could still feel the weight of all of it crashing back onto you. 

With one large tug the Velcro cuff snapped, you tried to get up and off the table to run to Bucky, he was the only one left in the room that you knew and trusted. He was also trying to make his way to you simultaneously, reading the fear etched deep into your eyes. No medical staff was trying to hold him back so he ripped through all of them and got to you quickly, you couldn’t really hear what he was saying because the pounding in your head that was pinpointed right at the back of your neck was starting to pound into your ears. But you could make out his lips that were moving, you can remember faintly kissing them, the feeling was on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t quite make out what it really felt like. He was telling you it was going to be okay, at one point he said that you could sleep now and that he’d be there when you wake up, you really didn’t want to trust him but you were so tired and your head hurt so bad.

You didn’t even see or feel the syringe plunge deep into the crook of your neck as he held your face and made your eyes look right into his.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine​ @commonintrest​ @buckyys-doll​  @lil-baby-nor 

let me know if you want a tag!!!

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky series #bucky banres #Winter Soldier #winter soldier oneshot #WINTER SOLDIER FLUFF #winter soldier fic #Winter Solider #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan x reader #bucky reader #bucky x y/n #bucky banes x reader #bucky barnes x female y/n #bucky barnes x female reader