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#im so alone but id rather it right now. no one knows how bad it is. intentionally. i never tell anyone
bulletsfrank · 8 months
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me when running away from everyone makes me end up all alone:
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chososlilprincess · 4 months
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last part of virgin!Choso<3 (im gonna write more for him tho, just in other scenarios!!) other parts here: part 1 part 2 part 4
.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.
Virgin Choso who stands on his small balcony, looking over the city, a grey cloud creeping out between his lips.
Choso had taken up smoking. He’d asked Leiri about it when he’d seen her doing it, and she’d told him it helped her to relax. he’d bought a pack right after that. The first couple of times he’d coughed the smoke out. But now he does it smoothly, inhaling and exhaling the smoke with no problem. It makes him feel at ease even just for a moment, and lord knows he needs it right now. Humans are fucking weird he thinks, they’d jepordize their health for a little break from their troubles. Guess that doesnt sound so ridiculous now that he thinks about it. Either way hes a human now too, or a half one atleast.
he squeezes the cigarette into an ashtray and looks at the time when he hears the door bell ringing. Its late and you’re here.
he hears you running up the stairs, and when you get to the top you run to him, giving him a soft hug. His heart keens.
“hi Choso!” you smile and let go of him, he immediately misses the feel of you, “hey,” he mumbles.
“why do you smell like cigerattes?” you huff and your nose crickles. cute.
he raises his shoulders.
“i cant believe it…who taught u to do that huh?” you make a disappointed face and fold your arms, tapping your foot on the floor. And he knows youre just joking, you and Yuji have been using enough sarcasm around him for him to have a pretty good understanding of it.
“Leiri,” he shrugs.
“of course…that hag,” you grin. And you look so fucking adorable, in your little outfit, and the way you look when you smile makes him weak. He has your bag ready on the couch, he had washed your panties before putting everything back into it. But he can’t think about that now, or he’ll turn bright red.
he sighs “i made dinner,” he says, “if you’re hungry,” you stop infront of him and you almost look like youre gonna cry from happiness. “im starving,” you say quickly, “what did you make?”
He’d made rice bowls for you. your favourite. And you eat like a girl who’d gotten her first meal in months. Happily humming while eating your food.
Rather than focusing on eating his own bowl, he thinks about eating every meal of the day with you, sitting across from him.
when you’re done you put your plate in the sink and you yawn, you look adorable when you yawn, you look adorable when you do anything.
you turn around, “Choso?”
his heart skips a beat. he nods.
“it’s really late and um…dark outside and i don’t really want to walk home alone,” you look away, are you….blushing?
“is it okay if i stay here for the night?”
And hes heard the stories. About what happens to pretty girls when they’re alone at night and they don’t see the stranger walking behind them. And his fist clenches at the thought of someone being mean to you. He’s stronger than any human. he’d crush their fucking skull.
“you can stay,” he says quickly, a little too eagerly he realises. And you smile, “give me your plate,” you say, looking greatful that he let you stay, unknowing of the fact that he’d do just about anything if it meant your safety, or your happiness.
You start washing the dishes in his tiny kitchen, and when Choso tries insisting that he wants to help, you splash a bit of water on him. And you laugh so sweetly, when he jumps a little, trying not to get hit.
When youre done washing up, You both stand in silence for a while. For some reason its not as akward as it sounds.
“i will sleep on the couch,” he says,
“no Choso…id feel bad, you sleep in your bed,” you mumble.
You both argue like that for a while, and youre not letting up. stubborn little human.
you both get quiet for a moment.
“how big is your bed?”
“Queen size,”
“so why dont we just…sleep in it together?”
youre blushing slightly again. it must be his imagination.
And then he thinks about it. Friends sleep in the same bed sometimes right? you dont mean anything by it, he thinks, its just you being polite.
“i guess…we could do that yes,” he agrees.
you smile and nod, “okay,”
Choso excuses himself to go to the bathroom then, telling you to go ahead and get ready for bed.
He looks at himself in the mirror. He takes out his buns, his hair falling down to his shoulders. His eyes are dark and sunken. He looks dead he thinks. He looks down, “behave,” he says quietly, mostly to his heart, but also his dick.
he buries his head in his hands And He realizes he cant, he realizes the second he’s gonna look at you in his bed, he won’t be able to stop himself. to stop himself from confessing everything he feels, everything he’s done. that he thinks about you all the time, that you drive him insane, that he stole your pretty panties and came in his hand from the smell of your wet cunt.
When he rounds the corner of his bedroom, you’re sitting patiently on the edge of his bed, waiting for him.
“i am going to sleep on the couch, i don’t think this is a good idea,” he says it quickly, before he changes his mind, before its too late to go back.
you open your mouth to speak, hesitating a little.
“is it because of what yuji told me?”
his brain goes quiet. “what?”
“that you…that you like me?”
fuck. its over. he sighs angrily. that little fucki-
you stand and walk to him.
and when you put your hand on his chest, for a moment he forgets why hes mad, he forgets who he is and what year hes in. all he sees is you. And how close you are all of a sudden. and how youre leaning in, standing on your tippy toes, pressing your soft lips to his, in a short gentle kiss. His world stops for a moment.
And when he regains his senses, his instincts take over and he kisses you back ferociously, it’s sloppy and uncoordinated, but neither of you seem to care.
You walk backwards onto his bed, and you push him down so he’s sitting on the edge. He looks at you like a puppy dog, and his cheeks are flushed red.
When you sit down in his lap his dick twitches in his pants.
“i- i didnt think you…,” he stutters. he doesn’t really believe what’s happening.
“well i do,” you say, while cupping his face in your hands. “a lot,”
“can i…” he needs it he needs it he needs it, “can i eat your pussy?” he mumbles it quietly.
your eyes widen. fuck, he shouldn’t have said that, it was way too fast, you were just kissing.
“oh…uh okay,”
fuck. yes.
he lifts you up from his lap, and you skriek a little from surprise. He puts you down in a chair in the corner of his bedroom.
he gets on his knees infront of you and speaks quietly,
“i…im sorry i,” he sniffles a little, he’s so overwhelmed. And you’re letting him taste you.
you lean down and give him a kiss, biting your lip slightly.
“its okay…we can talk later, if you need it i’ll give it to you okay?”
And fuck he almost cries, and he buries his face in your lap. You shush him a little, caressing his hair. Hes hugging your legs.
He lifts his head, and you start unbuttoning your pants. Slowly sliding them down your hips as they fall to the floor. You spread your legs and he whimpers. Your panties are pink this time, and theres a big wet spot on them. And he doesn’t spare a second, he dives his head into your cunt, rubbing his face in it and licking at the wet spot desperately. you moan his name softly, and he cant help but grind his hard cock against the leg of the chair. Hes pathetic but he doesnt care, he wants you to feel good, he wants to make you cum on his face. He groans into your weeping pussy as he thinks about you cumming for him.
He pulls away a little, silently begging you to remove your panties. He wants to see your pussy so bad. His pussy.
You slide down your panties to reveal your soaked cunt. Choso almost growls. He looks up at you, asking for permission to keep going. you nod, your eyes half lidded. Spoiled little princess, he thinks, and thats exactly how hes going to treat you from now on.
he leans in again, kissing your pussy and it makes a wet sound. He licks his lips and groans deeply at your taste. He starts lapping at your cunt like a dehydrated puppy. He’s making out with your pussy now, swiping his tongue all over. You can tell he’s inexperienced, but it doesn’t matter, he’s doing such a good job.
you feel so good, his tongue is too much, its all too much. You love him so much. And you cum unexpectedly, crying out his name, begging him to keep going and he whines. You thrash around and Choso keeps you steady, his strong hands grasping your hips.
After youre done he keeps licking up your cum, making sure youre cleaned.
“Choso…stop, too much,” you say softly.
He pulls away.
His face is covered in your juices, dripping all the way down his neck. And he looks so happy. He stands up, like its on instinct. He needs to hold you.
He grabs you into his arms and plop down onto the bed, with you on his chest. He squeezes you into him, kissing your hair while you slide your panties on again.
“mine,” he says softly. youre his now.
You look up at him, searching his eyes, “Choso i wanna um…you know,” you gesture to his crotch. you want to make him feel good too.
but he looks away shyly. its embarrassing and pathetic, “i um..,” he sits up with you in his lap.
He doesnt feel hard under you anymore. And then it clicks.
“oh my god did you…”
he blushes furiously and nods, “its embarrassing,” he had cum in his pants the second he put his face in your bare pussy.
“no! no…it’s really…hot,” you reason and he looks less embarrassed. He looks into your eyes then, looks at your pretty little face and he already knows he wants you to be his forever.
“do you want to be my girlfriend?” he asks nervously.
you giggle and nod eagerly, jumping on him, wrapping your arms around him and nuzzling into his neck.
hes the luckiest man in the world he thinks. And you both fall asleep, you laying on his chest.
.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.
guys they didn’t actually fuck and i’m SORRY
now….part 4?? hey!!! HEY OKAY IM SORRY!! comment if yall want more ill do a lil short one where buddy ACTUALLY looses his virginity.
taglist:
@iqzo @multy-fandom-lover
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♡♡♡♡
#.#im understanding sisyphus a lot better now#or rather just greek irony a lot more#nobody was doing purgatory or hell the way they greeks were#sorry i was thinking of tantalus yeah thats whats happening to me#cause i like cooking i like food#i wanna say maybe to some im actually good at it or something maybe#but i also cant it more than one meal a day if that or else i go to really dark places mentally and feel like shit physically#like its bad and ik i should work on reversing the whole ED situation#but unintentionally or not ive invested too much into this sinking ship to not see it through#its not that bad i swear ik it could be worse and im not encouraging it to worsen#but like is it bad id rather it get worse than i recover?#no yeah thats bad its bad damn oh well its not like its not obvious im like transparent w this shit i bet nobodys said anything tho so its#it cant be that bad cause nobodys said anything#doesnt mean they havent noticed but hey theyre also the same ppl who are happy im marginally less fat and kinda on the right path#like if i hadnt fucked this week up then i wouldve hit 25 probably#i def did hit 25 one day but yeah atm its 20 and if i put in the effort which i hate how hopeful it sounds i know its bad but fuck i cant#care about morality and shit anymore nothing good has come of being moral or healthy or trying to get better#the only thing thats working rn is this so maybe if in a few months i hit that dream number maybe itll make it easier to not kill myself#like sure it wont change everything else wrong but even if im alone at least 40 pounds lighter i wont mind living w myself#like even if it makes no difference to anyone at least maybe i can look in the mirror for longer than a few seconds before starting to cry#i thought there would be more good days before things got bleak but now its like hard to tell myself its worth holding out for the next ones#i dont mean ​worth in a suicidal way#but like yeah no i cant find reasons to be happy and that should be scary except its been months and im just tired now#i cant believe ive gotten to this level of defeat i didnt think this was achievable outside like a literary context#goodnight and happy v day i guess cheers
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finelinevogue · 9 months
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lost n found
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summary - you are lost in italy the night before your wedding
pairing: fiancé!harry x reader
word count: ~2k
You were definitely lost.
Drunk and lost.
To: harry - im so sor:(y
From: harry - Baby, you’re fine❤️ Drop me your location and I’ll come find you. Please don’t move xx
To: harry - okaY.i love you xox
So currently you were sat on a stone wall, somewhere on a random side street in a small Italian village, waiting for your boyfriend to come and pick you up.
Harry had gone out with a few of his closest guy friends for drinks, for one last night as an unmarried man.
You and your girls had gone out for drinks too and you had mentioned to the boys that you would catch them up later.
At some point during the evening, though, you and the girls had all gone to the beach and you had gone to the toilet. It had been a trek to find one, only when you tried to find your way back you took so many drunken wrong turns that you couldn’t tell your legs from rights now.
Reading a map was useless, but sending Harry messages wasn’t.
You originally hadn’t wanted to send him any messages, not wanting to ruin his last night a “free” man but at some point you had become a little too lost to care.
Swinging your legs as you sat on the wall, you watched the birds fly overhead amongst the clear blue sky. You detailed all the cracks in the old buildings and counted twelve windows on one wall alone.
Your brain was fuzzy and your eyes kept on wanting to close from tiredness. You would be blaming a lot of your girl friends tomorrow for the continuous passing of shots your way.
Your phone rang in your hand.
“Yeah?” You answered, not even checking the caller ID.
“Baby? Love? Can y’hear me?” Harry asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’re not where y’said you’d be.” Harry sounded stressed.
“N-no I am. I sent you my location a-and I haven’t moved.”
You stood up and could feel yourself starting to panic. If Harry didn’t know where you were then there was no way of you knowing. Harry wasn’t ever a big enough drinker to get really drunk, unlike you.
You only ever got drunk when you felt you were in a safe environment, like tonight had been surrounded by all your closest girl friends. Or always with Harry.
Now that you didn’t have anyone and you were still drunk, you were getting anxiety of being alone and intoxicated.
Cue to shaky hands and tears.
“Are y’sure baby?”
“Y-yes. Fuck me. You’re not going to find me. Fuck. I don’t – shit – I.. I’m…”
“Hey, hey. Y/N, baby. Woah, slow down for me, okay? I am coming for you, okay? I just.. It was my mistake and I just need to relocate myself. You’re okay.”
Your phone was shaky in your hands and you started twisting your body around, as if expecting some random creepy guy to come around the corner and take advantage of you.
The twisting didn’t help your head, though, and was making you feel increasingly dizzy and sick.
“Y/N?” Harry asked urgently and you wondered whether you’d missed something he said.
“I-I’m scared.” You honestly said, backing yourself against a wall and trying to let the cool stone calm you down.
Your tears will no doubt have ruined your minimal makeup by now, not that that was a main priority of yours right now.
“Honey, you’re okay. I’ll be there soon, I promise.”
Harry sounded like he was running.
His voice sounded a little breathy and you could hear the fast movement of wind through the speakerphone.
“Y/N, love, turn on your data.” Harry said.
“I ran out.” You banged your head back against the wall, not even thinking about the pain that just caused.
You whimpered as you sank down onto the floor, knees tucked close to your chest and arm wrapped around your legs. Your phone was still to your ear, with Harry’s voice being the only sane thing in this moment.
“Okay, okay.” Harry muttered to himself rather than you. More running sounded from Harry’s end of the phone. “Baby, y’still there?”
��Mm.”
Your mind travelled to many worst case scenarios and due to how bad they were your panic only increased.
This was supposed to be your last nights as an unmarried couple and you couldn’t help but feel like you’d ruined that. He must’ve been having such a good night.
You’d seen a couple of photos on his private Instagram story and other people’s Instagram stories. Your fiancé looked divine. He just looked so perfect that it was difficult to believe that he had chosen you and you got to call him yours.
It did make you nearly cry that he was thinking of you, via Instagram, though.
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“You feeling okay, baby?” Harry asked.
“Don’t know. I’m so sorry, Harry.”
“It’s okay. I’m not angry or upset. Just want to make sure you’re okay, my love.”
“Okay.”
“So you have to be brave for me, okay?”
“Yes, okay.”
You got stuck for a moment, trying to think of possible ways you could calm yourself down and distract yourself. Luckily, Harry was already one step ahead.
“Hey, baby?” He grabbed your attention.
“Yeah.”
“We’re getting married tomorrow.”
You couldn’t help but let the smile take over your face. You weren’t scared at all for tomorrow. You had no nervous jitters. All you felt was love in your heart for your husband to be.
“We are.”
“And you’re going to look so beautiful.”
“So are you.”
“I can’t wait to see you in your wedding dress. I bet it looks so pretty.”
You sniffled, building back your strength and overcoming your anxiety. A lot of your strength came from the love you hold for Harry.
You heard a noise from your left and looked to see a cat rustling through some litter.
Your heart deflated when you realised it wasn’t Harry. You knew he was coming though. He was on his way and he would not stop running until he found you.
It was almost like a bad scene out of a romance movie.
The night before your wedding and something terrible goes wrong. It’s a sign!
“I think it’s just perfectly me.” You said, talking about your wedding dress.
“Sounds perfect to me then.” Harry paused for a moment. “Baby, did you walk under an archway, like, uh, a stone archway covered in pink flowers?”
“I-I don’t know. I don’t remember.” You ran a stressed hand over your forehead.
“Okay. That’s okay.”
“Everyone’s going to be so mad at me.” You began getting frustrated with yourself. “Fuck.” You breathed in a sob and exhaled with a bigger breath.
“Promise you no one’s mad, baby. Gem has messaged me a thousand times asking if you’re okay. I can’t even answer ‘cause this bloody maps apps is a fucking nuisance. I swear to–”
“Harry?” You furrowed your eyebrows, looking up from your knees to check your phone. He was still on the line. “Hello?”
“Y/N!” Harry shouted your name, but not from down the phone.
You could see Harry walking over to you very quickly, clearly panting from having run street after street.
“H.” You dropped your phone and cried as you saw him faster approach you.
Definitely a moment worthy of a romcom.
Harry was probably living his Ryan Gosling dreams.
“Baby, hey. I’m here. You’re okay.” Harry sank down to the floor and scooped his arms around you, pulling you close and squeezing oh so tight.
He sank down to his bum and leaned against the wall, pulling your entirely onto his lap. Too close wasn’t an option right now.
Your arms wrapped around his neck as you sat sideways on his lap. Your face was tucked under his chin and his head rested on top of yours. You cried as Harry held you tight.
You couldn’t see Harry’s facial expressions but he was breathing out sighs of relief, some tears in his own eyes from the adrenaline of trying to find you. He had been just as scared as you, but had to remain strong for you. Now he had you he could let it all out.
“You’re never going to the toilet alone again.” Harry laughed. You laughed back.
“Deal.”
“That was scary.” Harry kind of mumbled, but you heard him anyways. He kissed your head a few times and you melted at the feel.
“Harry.”
“Yeah, love?”
“My head is so dizzy.”
Harry used a hand to tilt your head up so he could see your face. He noticed your mascara ridden face first of all, but beneath that you were all beauty.
“Tequila is only our friend for two rounds, remember?” He laughed at you. He was able to tell from your eyes that you weren’t exceedingly drunk, but definitely tipsy.
“I did not remember.”
He nuzzled his nose against yours as he shook his head with a grin. “You’re such a handful, you.”
“M’sorry.” You pouted.
“Never said I didn’t love you as a handful.”
“Do you? Love me a handful?” You used a hand to stroke over his cheek that had gotten so scruffy with the stubble he was trying to grow.
“‘Course. Love you every way and anyway. Love you so much. Love you until my body literally decomposes my wedding ring off my finger, and then some more.”
“That was dark, even for a 2AM drunk thought.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Harry chuckled, noticing that smile on your face becoming more and more permanent.
“But I’ll love you for the same.” You promised.
Harry kissed you then, not wasting another moment of this evening away from you. Well, morning now. His lips were soft against yours and you smiled into the kiss, happy that he was here with you even if it was under really weird circumstances.
“Let’s go, trouble. We’ll go back to the hotel and I’ll kiss you all night.”
“Don’t you want to spend the rest of your night with the boys? You know, last night as a free man?” Even though you were suggesting this, all you actually wanted to do was kiss, kiss and kiss him.
“Free man?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows with disgust, “What are you talking about?”
“You know? People say the last night before they get married is their last chance to be free?”
“Why would I need to be free when I’ve got you? I’m choosing you, like I always have. Never needed to be free.”
You smiled warmly at him. “I’m shackling you to me for life.”
“Too right you are, baby. Wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Now, take me home, trouble.” You giggled.
“Oh. So I’m the trouble now?”
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liked by gemmastyles and 682,928 others
yourinstagram tomorrow i get your last name forever <3 p.s. i would like to state that harry bought himself that tshirt :)
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harryfan1 oh to be y/n l/n
jeffezoff Where did you two go?
harryfan2 moustacherry fans rrIISEEEEE
harryfan3 wish my bf supported me with tshirts like that
jamescorden Tequila anyone?
harrystyles I am planning on wearing that tshirt tomorrow.
yourinstagram @/harrystyles the tshirt but nothing else please
gemmastyles @/jamescorden They aren’t coming back for tequila….
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scarasbaefy · 1 year
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linger
chars; scaramouche/wanderer
; fem reader, angst
note; I AM NEW TO THIS !! i neefd more angst i love angst so im doing it myself. emoly if u see this, HI !!!
sitting on the bed you shared with your “husband” is all you seemed to do these past few months. scaramouche is rarely ever home. when he is, he doesn’t even bother to greet you. not a smile on his face, and no word is exchanged between you. there hasn’t been any intimacy either. no kisses, no loving touches.
“why don't you just leave him? it’s obvious you’re miserable.” tartaglia said as he seen you walk out the infirmary. he had no idea what he was talking about. he doesn't even know the feeling of loving someone so much that you don’t want to let go. “i love him.” you stated, no emotion present in your voice. who can blame you? you were in a loveless relationship. tartaglia felt bad for you but didn’t say anything more. you stared at his back, watching him as he continued to walk down the hall. everyone was worried sick at your depressed state, except of course scaramouche.
tartaglias words lingered in your mind. maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask scaramouche why he was acting this way towards you. was it the girl everyone had been talking about? you’d occasionally hear other harbingers talk about a mysterious traveler ruining their plans. 
you walked back to your room with the mystery girl in your mind. sometimes you would read reports from scaramouches missions that had been mailed in for filing. the way he wrote about her and complimented her skills made you slightly jealous. ‘it’s okay,” you told yourself, “soon, she’ll be the furthest thing from his mind!”
before him becoming distant, he would talk to you with the happiest look on his face. he would bring you gifts and strike down anyone who dared to look at you the wrong way, never failing to bring butterflies to your stomach. the memories of the past made you tear up. “i miss my husband.” you whispered as you rubbed your stomach, trying to soothe the sudden cramp you had been getting for a while now.
“i’m right here. stop crying. it’s making you look pathetic.” scaramouche said as he slammed the door shut. “do you know how embarrassing it is having a crybaby wife like you? lumine would never do this. everyone looks at us with pity and i hate it, and it’s all your fault,” his words dripped with venom. 
you felt your heart drop. you didn’t know he was coming home today. the plan to tell him the news you found out from the infirmary suddenly slipped out of your mind, fear of what he’d do to you replacing its spot. 
“i-i.. when did you arrive? i thought you wouldn’t be coming home for another week or so,” you said as you wiped the tears from your eyes. 
scaramouche walked in front of you, grabbing ur face with one hand while rubbing the tears away rather harshly. you immediately tried prying yourself away from him. “stop! you’re hurting me!” you shouted, grabbing his wrists and forcing his hands off your face. “oh give me a break,” he started, “now i can’t even wipe your tears away without you acting dramatic? isn’t this what you want anyways? god, how much more useless can you get? if i knew you were going to become like this, i wouldn’t have married you. id rather walk this land alone a thousand times and witness my friends get killed, than to be seen with a person like you.” your heart dropped for a second time. this time, the aching pain lingered longer. 
you slowly smiled at him. one of those smiles you give when you’ve had enough. months without him talking to you and this is how he treats you? scaramouche furrowed his eyebrows at your reaction. no one should be happy after being insulted. 
“okay.” you said, the smile turning into a bitter expression. you stood up and shoved him away from you. “take your lousy ring,” you took the ring off your finger and threw it towards his feet, “i’m sick of this, and you, and everything you haven’t done. i haven’t done anything to you to deserve this,” scaramouche stood there with a surprised face. he stumbled as he reached to catch your ring, regret immediately washing over him. never in a million years did he think you’d be capable of talking back. you’re a sweet person with no room for hate. “don’t look for me,” you continued, “don’t follow me. don’t even bother mentioning my name,” you made your way towards the door, hand reaching for the doorknob, “and by the way, don’t be surprised when one of your subordinates reports back to you telling you they spotted me with an infant that resembles you.” the electro vision on your back flickered before the sound of thunder roared and lightning replacing where your body once stood, teleporting you out of the building.
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touyazbbygirl · 5 days
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the lights in the Wind
Per requested here's part two. this is part one
Dabi x reader Happier ending? still bittersweet
talks of death, spoiler warning still and still not proof read so if there's typos my bad
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A gasp was torn from your body as you shot up. Seeing Touya next you asleep his head resting against your shoulder, or was until you shot up from the nightmare that had infested your thoughts. Touya stirred a bit as he looked at you with a raised brow, “what’s wrong Doll?” He spoke voice gravelly from sleep. “J-Just a nightmare” You spoke, voice wobbling with each word. Taking in his appearance, hair still black he was perfectly fine. 
“We need.. we need to talk Touya..” His eye widened as he looked at you. “How.. did you?” He trailed off as he swore, damn dream walkers. “Listen I-“ he was cut off as you shook your head “No Touya you listen. You’re going to fucking die. You’re going to die and leave me because of your past.” You barked at him as he was taken a back by your outburst. They were talking about kidnapping a student from U.A. He didn’t think that taking the kid was going to cause him to end up in a grave. 
“Listen.. I don’t know how far this is.. but, you release a statement on live TV that you are Touya Todoroki. Outing yourself and your family about this. You have a DNA test to also show this.. and you fight both Shoto and your father.. you hurt Shoto really bad Touya.. I know.. I know you have your problems with your family but you’re going to end up dying. Not by them, but you.. you kill yourself Touya. Please, you need to promise me you won’t do this.” You looked at him with a teary expression as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your head to his chest. “How did you know..” You sniffled as he spoke looking up at him “I had a dream about it. Just now. I held you in my arms before.. the last time.. I felt you.. in my arms Touya.” He sighed deeply as he pulled you into his lap, rocking your frame in his arms as he pressed a kiss against your head. 
“Id rather you be locked up and having a hard time seeing you than never see you again. To never hear you calling me again.. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lost you, don’t you understand that Touya? You’re my everything, you saved me, I was about to die and there you were. I could still feel the warmth of your flames against my skin when you killed them. I know that guilt from killing them eats at you every single day. You’ve cried to me over it, I know it’s haunting, and Im sorry for that but Im not sorry for trying to save you. Please don’t go through with this. I don’t know If I could lose anyone else.” You confessed, words stern as the tears that you tried your hardest to keep at bay. Gripping the collar of his jacket tightly in your hands as he looked at you shocked. You had never taken such a tone with him, let alone been so aggressive before, not that he minded. 
“Listen doll-“ he was cut off again as you spoke again “Don’t Touya, I will kill you and bring you back to life to kill you again. It’s not happening do you understand me. I don’t care how badly you hate your family, I don’t want you to kill yourself. They already think you’re dead, is not that enough for you? Listen.. Im sure.. you have your own reasons Touya I do. But I can’t lose you.” You would say it as many times as you needed to get it through his head that you weren’t going to let him leave you for his own self fulfillment. “I will say, I do like the hair white too, I like the black.. but something the white makes you look like an angel.. you’re my angel Touya..” You sighed softly as you leaned down pressing your lips against his own. Cupping his cheeks stroking his skin with your thumbs “Listen Touya, I know youre hurt by your past, but right now, I need you to think about me and you. Do you love me?” 
Touya looked at you with a softened expression, cupping your cheek now. “I love you more than anything, I may have my own.. plans and self fulfillment for validation..” He sighed softly as he pressed a kiss against your head before leaning back against the couch. Bringing you with him as he rubbed your back tenderly, reassuringly. “I can maybe rethink my plan or think of another way to get back at my family.  Just.. won’t go too far. I don’t want to lose you either, you.. made me feel things that I never thought I would be able to feel. You made me realize that its not so bad to be around other let alone be alive. You.. have shown me that loving someone doesn’t have to hurt and love shouldn’t hurt. Ive been happy because of you, all those happy things that make me feel alive. Dreams.. that aren’t just dreams and having you stay by me.. I just want to make you smile, I just want to make you smile even through the tears. I never..” He trailed off trying to steady his breathing as he leaned his head back, the red blood filling his lash line. Sniffling as he pets your head gently fluttering his eyes shut. “I thought.. I was just some damaged goods, I thought that I was.. a lot of things but then you cried out for help that day.. you waltzed into my life and changed me, ripping my heart right out of my chest and held it captive ever sense.” His voice trembled before he sighed “When I feel you and hear your voice calling me when we first wake up.. fills me. With so much. I can’t.. when you say those words of love and when Im feeling insecure.. you know exactly what to say, where to touch, how to kiss me. I love you. I love you so much.” He felt your hand reaching up to his cheek, wiping away the blood stained tears. 
“Do you promise me?” You spoke softly as you stood on your knees, cupping his face in your hands his blues starring back at you. “I promise to keep going, just for you.” He spoke, a sniffle coming from the both of you as you pressed a kiss against his lips. 
That night the wind was as gentle as the gentle touches against each others skin. Whispering calls of each others names in words of affirmation. He was like the whispers in the wind, but at least he kept you by his side even on the stormiest of nights. 
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tags: @artemida88929
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juni-ravenhall · 5 months
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sso vs the concept of good gameplay. yeah its another fucking book length post >:3
thoughts from someone with a brain full of what good game design means and tons of years of studying and analysing that topic etc, bc of game design being one of my main interests.
basically the major thing i want to say about the hollow woods update aside from "yay forest kinda pretty :)" is that most of it doesn't really consist of what i would call gameplay. this is ofc something u can argue back and forth that im also open to, bc respectful analytical discussion is healthy.
the firefly stuff id personally call something more like "satisfaction play" than gameplay (idk if there's a widespread term that anyone else made up already). there is zero challenge to gathering fireflies - it's on the level of poking a glitter slime simulation app. it might feel satisfying to collect them, but there is no practised skill needed, no thinking or planning or anything. so i don't consider this "gameplay", but "satisfaction play" in itself isn't a bad thing, either. it's not that "gameplay" would be inherently better than "satisfaction play" in every case.
the puzzles are gameplay, i think - not very challenging gameplay (the answers are right there as soon as the puzzle is presented), but it *is* arguably gameplay, since we do call puzzle-solving "gameplay" in general. there is some argument there to be made about what a "puzzle" really means, and what is a simple "request and task" rather than a "puzzle", or what "knowing a real life fact" (what is 180 degrees?) versus "having to figure something out using information available inside the game" might mean for how we view what is or isn't a puzzle. but that's not specific to sso at all (a question for tons of various "puzzles" as seen in tons of various games).
there's nothing wrong in itself with satisfaction play, or with easy puzzles. sometimes that's exactly what an audience wants. but sso has a bigger issue, in that the main gameplay until now has been races (or courses, tracks, but let's say races) and that those races are not especially well designed. that there is very little of really challenging, fun, satisfying, rewarding gameplay in sso - in the terms of what people usually expect from videogames (of the gameplay-based type, not satisfaction play-based).
don't jump to conclusions here, but: i often make a comparison to mariokart, a game with a primary race mechanic. i used to play mariokart a lot because it was just really fun. it was fun alone or with friends or strangers, and it was fun to try to beat my best score, and it was fun to explore different ways of beating the same track. when you design a game, you have to think really heavily about: is the core gameplay loop fun? what makes people want to play this? to *re*play this? does it feel satisfying and exciting? is it better or at the same level as its competitors? what kind of things appeal to the target audience? and so on.
somehow sso has never felt like mariokart (except that one rainbow race, obvs), and i don't mean that sso could just "copy mariokart", this isnt the point. what i do mean is that there has to be a way to make your racing mechanic (if it is a primary mechanic of your game!) actually fun, engaging and challenging in the right way - the good game design way, not the clunky, frustrating and broken way. (yes, i know the engine is spaghetti garbage. no, i don't think that's a get-out-of-jail-free card for every problem that sse has.)
they made some progress with this when they added a completely out-of-place, more challenging race in one of the more recent story quests (i forget exactly when that was, but the race was in hollow woods). the problem then was that within the context of sso and what they have taught the players about their game, this race was thrown at us with no preparation for its challenges, which is bad game design. you want to introduce your player to different challenges and allow them to practice and learn, which didn't happen when we jump from "races with basically no skill needed to pass" to "a race with new things happening everywhere you need to react to while also successfully following a new path" out of nowhere. the intent was good - more challenging and exciting, dramatic races - the execution wasn't great.
they also made some progress with this when they revamped a few of the champs. the revamps aren't perfect, but they're good, and it was a good step towards improving core gameplay mechanics, that not only are genuinely enjoyable to many players but also *fit into the theme of the game* (as in, beating others at horse sports is a common theme within the equestrian theme). (i'm personally in shock that we don't have more champs across the map since all of these years, and that they aren't better already, since it's one of the most "regular videogame quality" content this game has and it shouldve been relatively easy to add more as well as maintaining and improving what was there).
so, back to the new valedale stuff.... sort of. there have been some puzzles in sso before, and some random gameplay (the click timing of searching for gold). the stuff we've had before: it's usually very basic puzzles and random gameplay, partially on behalf of that - for a long time - there doesn't seem to have been that much resources put into fighting with the engine to create new things that weren't in the code before, and partially because of a view held by some people at the company that games for young girls don't need to have any actual well-designed challenging gameplay, and that it's better to make it ridiculously easy so that nobody ever really loses or gets stuck on anything. you don't have to practice to beat any of the races - you might have to practice to get a top score or win a champ, but none of those are required for progress. similarly, there wasn't any real challenge that i remember to the absolute majority of non-racing quests, either. you might have to hit a thing with the right timing once in a while, but it's always easy (other games do this too - see QTE in certain AAA games!), or you might have to remember a number or a word for a minute and answer a question or type in a code correctly.
more or less everytime that there were puzzles in sso, they held your hand through it - whether you wanted to or not. the same is true for the rune puzzles, which have their solution blatantly in front of you as soon as they load. there is no changing actual difficulty level to make it more fitting to the player (which doesn't necessarily have to be a literal level setting - it can come organically, such as giving extra explanations, or slowing a timer down, after a player has failed a task 3 times, etc). yes, you can make the rune puzzles more complex in some sense - a bigger grid, or choosing the type of moves you are worse at - but the solution is always right in front of you, regardless. they hold your hand whether you like it or not, by the type of puzzle that they introduced.
races in sso have a "gold, silver or bronze" system, but we don't actually see that the races have been correctly playtested to properly reflect what a time worthy of each medal should be, and we also don't really gain anything from reaching any medal. i never feel a thing about getting this or that medal, because they mean nothing. it might be a good thing that we're never asked in a quest to "complete this race with a gold medal" or "complete this race under a certain time" or "complete this jumping course with no faults", since that could lock some players out of completing quests (while this is the case for most other games, there is also an important discussion happening around accessibility in game completion).
there are ways to make the medals in races matter, feel accurate, and feel rewarding. there are ways to make races more challenging or more interesting without just being more clunky or frustrating. there are ways to do that while keeping them more or less grounded in reality, and ways to do that while incorporating non-realistic elements that are fun and feel fitting (remembering that this is a game with magic and fantasy from the start). they could have added faults to jumping courses forever ago, they could have added dressage forever ago, and improved on gameplay like pole bending and barrel racing, and so on, and all while allowing players at all skill levels to still complete tasks and complete races, but also allowing players to challenge themselves for rewards.
if the core gameplay - around races and championships, around horse care, horse bonding and horse training - or around magic and protecting what's dear, or around rescue missions with the rangers, or tons of other stuff i can think up that would fit this game - if that stuff felt like actually well designed gameplay, something fun, not frustrating and buggy, challenging in the right ways and rewarding. if all that was done well, then adding some "satisfaction play" with fireflies or some simple puzzles with blatant solutions wouldn't be as easy to criticise.
the closest thing we got to challenging gameplay that you can really clearly *lose* at - that there is a risk and a skill involved - were some of the druid training missions. they still suffered from some clunky frustrations and non-ideal design decisions, but it was an attempt at more regular gameplay (among the non-racing gameplay). comparing the new gameplay in valedale to the druid training, you can see that the risk of failure has gone down a lot or been removed completely, rather than being built upon any more. they also didn't continue to update druid training in any way afaik or to build upon that foundation for other gameplay. (i'm open to that druid training may have been too difficult for a small subset of players, and that's a valid discussion. but i also think it was optional?)
i don't have a really nice tidy thought to end this with, and im really sleepy rn and going to bed. but the overall point is that if sso had other, well-designed and well-functioning gameplay that felt satisfying and rewarding for players, the flaws of the new valedale stuff would be less glaring. as things are, the lack of challenge and the lack of fun gameplay are really glaring problems with it, as well as the lack of reasonable rewards. (it makes very little sense that you have to purchase the items you unlock, but this is the same company that charged whatever x starcoins it was for those recoloured balloon pets, so.)
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lesbianspeedy · 1 year
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can I hear about the mia and ollie similarities whenever you have time...
theyre blonde :( thats it :( okay but ACTUALLY LETS GET INTO IT
They're loud assholes to people who need to be yelled at, but theyre actually hella introverted.
Mia "i think fast i talk fast" Dearden will mouth off at villains and batman, and take the piss out of people she loves. BUT she wasn't exactly shown to have like a friend group at her school (she was shown to be popular. but we only see her specifically interact with one person), and was extremely nervous to join the titans, not because they intimidated her, but because she didnt really...want to be there. She'd rather be with people she knows. She spends most of her time practicing archery, even before she was speedy. The only time we ever saw her go out anywhere was on a date with Dodger. And I will be pretending for the sake of this post that all of this is bc of character stuff and not just bad writing!
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Similarly, Ollie "goateed loudmouth" Queen thrives when he's alone, he prefers it, he rarely spends time with people outside of his family or close close friends. He'll rant and rave at leaguers and cops and capitalists and villains all day long, but he's at his happiest and most content when he's alone, and often when on the move too, this man cannot sit still he is like a fucking shark he will die if he is in the same place too long but thats unrelated to this post.
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As is pretty much a requirement to be in the arrowfam. Neither of them are here to fight the big alien threats you take on while being in the league/titans. They're here to save the little guy and fuck up capitalists. They have both seen the worst of society on the very opposite ends of the spectrum, Ollie with the rich, Mia with those the rich forget or ignore. I don't think I really need to add an example of Ollie here considering thats like his main this if u know anything about him. But look heres mia thinking abt it in her first titans issue.
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Now with coping mechanisms they're a lil different, Mia tends to isolate and stay in one place. Ollie will isolate but fuck off somewhere. Accidentally walk to canada. That sorta thing.
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(pls ignore how terrifying bald ollie is)
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They also both mask their emotions and deflect with humour when around other people, they don't want others to have to deal with their shit, they don't want to burden them (hence the isolation, this also often leads to them imploding in on themselves). Heres my most favourite example of their similarities ever (yes I will continue to post and talk about this specific thing every 3 weeks and no one can stop me) I do owe Hester my life for this
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Now heres the best part. They both did this a lot right. And yknow what that led to? Learning and growing and being there for each other :] Now im going to be honest we dont really see this growth in vol 3 bc judd winick is incapable of writing character development but! Phil Hester is here for us once again with his story in the 80th special and this part specifically <3
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Also once again a whole arrowfam thing- neither of them give two shits about their secret id lmao. I choose to believe Mia is so flippant about hers bc she so easily realised Ollie was GA that she just went like. Yeah sure I won't give a fuck either, it's clearly working for him.
oh and they both like musical theatre, hate batman and are homophobic**. sad. **not actually thats just an in joke in fandom
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red-dyed-sarumane · 21 days
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what if i went off about some of my favorite songs ever
kyuuyaku hankagai - hiiragi magnetite: everyone knows i love this. i just love everything about it. we really get both sides of the picture story wise with it- both the fact the world is literally, physically getting destroyed, and all of the mental torment the characters are dealing with. it still has that magu series weird wording but it gets everything across that it needs to. the instrumental is just as heavy as the scenario with added dramatics in parts that really make it for me. all the long notes to simulate screaming. the seamless addition of both the nami no ne no & rute furute woa motifs (& a possible 3rd? theres still parts in here i cant figure out yet) makes me so emotional. if u have no idea about the series its still a solid song. 10000/10 i cannot fully express my love for this song in words i just need it on repeat full volume for weeks on end.
ai wo - null: impossible for me to explain why i love this so much without oversharing. i keep telling myself not to rank this song so high but ive never felt so seen before. null's lyrics are both poetic & still hit every raw emotion where it hurts. the whole being left alone ur whole life & wishing it wasnt that way, that everything wasnt so empty, that someone could love u the way u need & never got. i want everyone to hear this song and i also want to gatekeep it. it became so important to me in such a short time & itll be hard to ever rival it
arikitari heroes - 150suzu: im not immune to nostalgia. shuuenpro is executed entirely different to aru sekai series & i have to judge from entirely different criteria & that said i really always loved how this one sort of summarized the series in a way that highlighted all the strife in it & made it subjective rather than an objective summary. the chorus is so high its like theyre crying out which fits entirely. i still have the video embedded in my mind & its been a hot minute since ive watched it. my teenage self thought it was so deep & even with a different perspective now i cant entirely discount those feelings. anyway i still really love it i could still listen to it for weeks on end if i wasnt busy keeping up with other things. i do not say it lightly when i say this is the song i have listened to the most in my entire life i used to spend Months straight listening to it. beloved.
tachiiri kinshi - mafumafu: i was sooooooo normal about this in high school (lying). its still high on my list of breakdown songs. like damn its been 8 years and it still holds up the same. between this & ai wo that just gives away 90% of my problems. imagine solving isolation by letting people in cant be me. anyway i was obsessed with drawing the girl from the video for a while idk how many doodles i still have left but she was Everywhere on my school work. normal person behavior.
jishou mushoku - nekobolo: song that has pulled the most weight in keeping me alive. where would i be without it. sometimes the mood is so bad this is still the only thing i can listen to some days.
rokuchounen to ichiya monogatari - kemu: the real reason i fell down the voca rabbit hole. still adore the song & find it hugely nostalgic, but there was a reason i connected with it when i was younger & being able to recognize how fucked up that was makes it also a painful reminder id rather bury. song fucks tho love how every rhythm game its in will destroy u trying to play it.
konmei no aji - savasti: regardless of the real meaning of the song this will always be a dissociation song to me not in the sense it makes me dissociate but rather in the spaceyness & disconnect it reminds me of the feeling but in a safer way to deal with it. personally i prefer rire's cover
taishou x - yurry canon: u will appreciate this song now right now its so under appreciated for a yurry canon song. god the fucking "i'm still living the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. as it is i will never be you. theres no reason in living, but just the same theres no point in dying is there?" [punching a wall] i like it a normal amount
kaiko no kanmuri - dopam!ne: god this song fucks so hard and yet its still edgy. i dont even really know how to explain what i feel with this one beyond i love it. its a kind of waiting for the right time to strike for revenge kinda song? idk its my absolute fave dopam!ne song i love a lot of his songs but this one just really does it for me
haru no sekibaku - inaba kumori: kutabireta atashi ga dame dattan da ne. yeah. the overall mood of this song hits just right all too often. sorry lag train this is the defining inabakumori song to me.
hyperlexia - yamaji: the space in this one also gives me a sense of vague dissociation. i just really love the whole reading between the lines not going to fall for lies anymore mood its got going on. a misguided sense of personal revolution that probably wont end in anything meaningful but i particularly like the song.
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xamvjay · 2 years
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|Video call sesh - Armin x afab!reader|
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**WARNINGS: contains smut, explicit language, and sexual themes. MINORS DNI although I know yall horny out there reading it**
The picture above is NOT MINE and goes to the rightful credited owner.
All characters mentioned below are NOT MINE and belong to the Original Creator/Author/Illustrator.
This piece is a work of fiction and is pure imagination and is not real and does not involve in the original story/timeline.
Genre: smut, romance,
cw: afab!reader, college au, thiskindasucks, sorry about the long ass zero activity, phone sex, dom!afabreader, sub!arminarlet, not proofread, no you didn't see me change pics
A/N: YALL this too waayy too long (procrastinated like crazy) but damn yall really like armin- but i mean he deserves it. im glad this got a lot of attention although this isnt my best/fav work. anyways enjoy~
wc: 4.2k sheesh---------------------------------------------------------
I just couldn't sleep. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but every once of exhaustion just happen to leave me the moment my back hit the mattress. Staring at the ceiling for as long as I could remember, weird patterns and swirls started to form in this pitch blackness of a room. I kicked of the blanket in frustration and kept tossing to both sides hoping the coolness of the pillow could lull me to sleep. Not working. Turning to switch on the small beige lamp that sat at the center of my nightstand, I grabbed the phone that was charging.
“Hm, who should I bother at this time?” I questioned myself as I swiped up to see the enlarged numbers displayed in front of me to show how late it was already. It was half-past two in the morning and still, no signs of sleep were showing. Hovering on the white outlined app that resembled a polaroid camera, I decided to click on it knowing it was a bad idea. ‘Great, now I totally won’t sleep today.’ I thought to myself mindlessly as I went away, doing the usual – infinite scrolling and hitting rock bottom. Sudden thought arose in my smart head as I went to check the people who were online. And lo and behold it was Armin.
He was that one geeky nerdy student that you barely ever saw him socialize with and was always alone with a book in his hands, reading away. After several group projects and being enamoured by his adorable self I decided to exchange ids. funnily he didn’t have an account and after countless bothering he finally gave in and reassured that he would be making an account and have his id. Grinning at the idea I clicked on his profile once again and saw that he had ten followers. Going through the list I noticed the majority were people not from our college and seemed like it was either his family or random strangers. One particularly caught my eye, it was a girl who sported a similar innocent, rather simple appearance and enjoyed rather few hobbies, similar to Armin.
My eyes glided over the bio-status she had written on her page, and it said ‘Armin Arlet’ coupled with emojis. But the emojis had a rose and a teddy bear. Interesting. Who was she exactly? Scrolling down to see her images that had a couple of selfies wearing different outfits and each had glasses on her face. Some were with friends, family, pets, adventures, and Armin. Armin? ‘Woah okay so they must be childhood friends or something’ I wondered. “Or girlfriend,” I spoke out into the dark as I stared at the ceiling once again. For some reason, that thought bothered me.
Armin being in a relationship? I didn’t enjoy that idea. A flicker of jealousy was igniting inside me. Him having a partner while I didn’t annoy me for sure. Staring at the photo where they both sat together with an ocean behind them and a pretty sunset. I started to notice how cute the girl was. She was wearing a white wool cardigan with a pink frock and a white tie on the waist. Her hair was done in pretty, tight curls, and she had this cool brown complexion as her bright brown orbs were staring at him. Her glasses were slightly down the nose bridge and her smile was so bright like her eyes.
My eyes then went to look at him and he had a very neutral to a more relaxed expression. He wore also dark-framed square glasses. His blonde hair was neat yet messy possibly from the wind. A navy-blue v-neck sweater was worn, and a white-collar shirt was exposed. His eyes. A beautiful shade of baby blue that was staring straight at the camera. It didn’t hold any specific emotion, but it felt like it twinkled at the sunset scenery. He looked so beautiful. Clicking out of the selfie, I scrolled up fast to the start of her page and read her username. @Claireuwu. So, it’s Claire huh. A cute name for a cute girl I must admit.
Sighing I went to check my unread DMs sent by my boisterous yet fun buddies of mine a thought popped to my head. Tapping on his profile as I thought of a response to message him with. I wondered what he was doing this late in the morning. Maybe we could hold an intellectual conversation like we did last time when we were making our way to the next workshop.  
Me: Yo, you busy?
Hello, no I’m not busy. :ArminArlet
‘Pretty formal, even during texting.’ I chuckled at his cute trait.
Me: well okay can I call you?
At this time? It’s too late, I cannot talk right now. Sorry. : ArminArlet
Me: Hm, funny coming that from you.        Whatre you doin up this late?        Thought you got sum curfew to follow lol
A couple of seconds passed as I waited for his response.
 Hey! I like to have an organized schedule. And me being up this late should not concern you. I will leave now. Have a good night: ArminArlet
My eyes shot up as I saw him go offline immediately. What the hell? Not even waiting for a reply back from me? Nope. I HAVE TO think about something. ‘Think! Think!’ I chanted in my head like a mantra.
Me: Heyy waittt dont go away        Yk I saw this news that this person uhh think his name was Sir Syukuro? Ik you adore him        Dont rlly remember his last name but he finally got a nobel prize alongside with sum1 else over uhh       OH physical modelling of Earth’s climate. Sir Klaus and Sir Parisi is involved
I nibbled on my bottom lip hoping that he would come back online and read my messages. A few minutes passed and so did my patience. I was seconds from calling him directly until I saw him typing. Yes! Oh, the relief of not appearing as an irritating person who disturbs someone with uncalled actions.
Really? I must look that up right away. Thank you for letting me that know. Although how did you know that Sir Syukuro Manabe was one of my favoruite physicst? : ArminArlet
Me: Hahaha glad I have your attention.        Uhm about that yk theres sumthin called paying attention?       Yea thas what I did wit you armin
Ah, I see. Thank you for listening to my rambles. I suppose. And what exactly is ‘yk’. I’m sorry I’m not familiar with these… slang or whatnot. : ArminArlet
Me: I could explain this and a lot more if we could just talk yk?
Fine. Since you are persistent with it, I will allow a maximum of 5 minutes. I cannot raise suspicion in my family.: ArminArlet
Did he say, family? Does he live with his family? That’s kind of fun not going to lie. I live in my own single-bedroom apartment – catering to college students that were closer to the campus. I guess he lives kind of far so he’s always seen rather extremely early on the campus.
Me: Yes sire. I shall call you now.
Wait! Not yet, I need to do…somethings then it’ll be safe for me to talk. I will give you, my signal.: ArminArlet
Something? Hmm. What could that be? I remember all these efforts that I had to put up through when texting my exes at late night during my high school stages. What a hassle. Glad I got a taste of my freedom and peace from that toxic household.
Me: alright whenever youre ready
Moments passed and then I got the green signal. ‘Perfect.’ I thought. the sense of winning washing over me. I never tried this hard for anyone just to come to my terms but having that done for Armin was an interesting one. A few rings went by and at the fifth one, he finally picked up.
ArminArlet joined the call.
Me: Hey, there buddy, you okay?
Armin: Uhm…yes. Yes, I am. Please make it fast.
Me: Okay damn. Uh, yea before that did you have your dinner?
A couple of silence and shuffling passed.
Armin: Uhm, yes, I did have my dinner. And what about you?
Me: If you considering snacking dinner then yea I did.
Armin: Snacking? Did you skip dinner? That’s not a proper nutritious dinner. Please try to have a better breakfast before today’s class.
Me: Do I hear worry? *laughs* don’t you worry about me hun, I’m alright, and yes, I will take breakfast for today’s class.
Armin: I-I… wasn’t being concerned! I was just acting like any normal person would do.
Me: Sure, whatever you say. That’s what my ex used to say. *snorting a bit*
Another wave of quietness wafted through the speakers until he spoke up with curiosity.
Armin: …What happened with them? Y-y-you don’t uhm have to answer this if it...makes you uncomfortable!
He spoke out with such care, caution and interest.
Me: Ah, don’t worry it’s quite fine. That son of a bitch slept with a girl I used to have beef with. And had the nerve to dump me. A 2-year long relationship went down the drain. And to be honest he was kind of a walking red flag that I decided to ignore. 
Armin: …I’m really sorry about what happened. I don’t understand why he would do that with someone who’s really smart and gorgeous. Wai-
Me: Gorgeous? *laughing* Did you just admit that I’m gorgeous? Thought I was too intimidating for you?
Armin: Uhm… uh I mean in a good way! You look really cool and all. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I promise.
He stuttered out as fast as he could. How cute.
Me: Awe, thank you *smiling* I’m glad you find me good-looking. Anyways enough about me, what’re you doing up this late?
Armin: Uhm…shoot, I was just busy with some things. Yeah, that’s all.
Me: That doesn’t sound as convincing as it may sound to you *laughing softly*
Armin: I promise you I was just busy with some important stuff that’s all.
Me: Sure *elongating the pronunciation* whatever you say, hun. Well, how’s your family? Claire?
A sigh was pushed out from him, assuming it was a sigh of relief.
Armin: Oh, yeah, they are fine too. Claire’s fine t- Wait! How do you know her?!
Me: Hm? Oh, her yea I came across her from your followers list.
Armin: Oh…what exactly were you doing in my…page?
Me: Ah I was just curious. I’m interested in your whereabouts and connections since you are really private.
Armin: Uh…yea I see. That’s kind of strange but alright.
Me: Ah, sorry I tend to do that with people I’m interested in. My b-.
Armin: Wait did you say interested? You are interested in…me?
Me: Bingo. I am. I hope you are too just as how much I am.
The stillness was floating in the air as I waited for him to say something back.
Armin: Uh…I’m not that interesting I p-promise. Please don’t w-waste your time on m-m-me…
Me: Shh, it’s alright hun, I like you for you. I’ve always found you fascinating and caught my attention every time you were present. Heck, you were on my mind even when you’re not there. It’s crazy.
Armin: …I’m…I can’t believe. I…
Me: It’s okay, take a breather. You don’t have to feel the same way. It’s totally fine. I just felt the need to say it *smiling sadly*. What was is it that we wanted to talk about origin-
Armin: No! Wait I uhm…I really do like you too. I don’t know I never really felt like this but I feel warm inside. You m-make me feel t-things…*whimper noises*
I was quite stunned by his confession. He liked me back? Never thought in a million years would I hear those words coming from his cute lips. I sighed in relief as I felt another wave of victory wash over me. Smiling at his pretty whimper noises I decided to explore furthermore.
Me: so…you like me too? You can’t even imagine how happy I am hearing you admit the same feelings I feel for you.
Armin: Y-yes. I really do l-like you…
Me: I’m glad babe but are you okay there?
Armin: Oh! Yes, I’m fine. Yes, I am. Oh, s-
A sudden cut of noise occurred as I looked back at the screen. He muted himself. Someone must’ve come over at this time. I decided to hang about and moved around to find another comfortable position.
Armin: Hey…sorry I had to uhm abruptly mute because my pet dog came over so suddenly it scared me. I h-had to stop him from barking. *laughs nervously* yeah, really sorry.
Me: *laughing* it’s quite alright babe. So…what exactly were you doing at such time?
Armin: Uhm...nothing really…stuff.
Me: Armin, baby please tell me, I won’t repeat myself. What were you doing?
A few whimpering noises were heard and a nervous chuckle until he spoke once again.
Armin: I-I was on your page…
Me: Go on.
Armin: ….looking at your posts, your selfies.
I smirked at the idea of him being on my page and stalking my posts. I clicked and went to my page as I asked him further questions.
Me: And were they nice?
Armin: Uhm yes, they were…really pretty.
Me: I’m glad, what did you like the most?
Armin: T-the one where you w-w-ore bunny ears…
He spoke so softly, nervously as his sweet voice faded away. I swiped around to finally find the post he was talking about. Hmm, not a bad taste. It was the photo where I was having a pretty shitty day and decided to dress up while I was high. I was sporting a photo where I lay on my chest on the bed in front of the camera. My bangs framed my face as the black playboy-styled bunny ears settled on my head. Loose curls flowed down my black t-shirt-covered back. Almost unattached buttons were done so a good amount of cleavage was exposed. Almost seemed that it was flowing out of the shirt. Inside the shirt, I wore a black halter-style swimsuit. My perfectly smooth ass was exposed to the camera too. Pretty legs that were covered in fish stockings were presented nicely too. Dark red lipstick was covering my beautiful lips. A tongue was stuck out showing the cute piercing I got on it.
‘Interesting choice.’ I thought once again. Noticed I was silent far too long as those cute whimpers brought me back to the present situation.
Me: What is it that you liked about it?
Armin: Uhm…e-everything. You looked…a bit more gorgeous.
Me: Awe baby thank you *smiling* well, what did that photo make you feel?
Quicker breathing was spotted coming from the receiver’s end as I waited patiently.
Armin: It i-it made me feel s-so many things…
Me: Like what exactly baby?
Armin: *a little moan escaped his mouth* I-it made me f-feel h-hot and painful d-d-own there.
He stuttered out with great difficulty. I smirked at the thought of his current situation. Poor baby. He needs some sort of relief. And I’ll help him.
Me: Can you switch to video call for me? I need to see you, so I can help you. I promise darling.
Armin: …D-do you promise?
Me: I promise baby.
A few moments passed as I looked at the request that came up on my screen. Accepting it, I adjusted my camera where a teasing amount of cleavage showed from my thin shirt. Seconds later the dark screen vanished, and his face popped on my screen. A disoriented look he was wearing.
His blond hair was flying everywhere, and his eyes were a bit red, but those beautiful blue eyes were so vibrant. The glasses sat wonkily as his nose bridge and cheeks were a pretty shade of pink. Parted lips as a wet muscle swiped over to moist those luscious lips. Earbuds were connected to his ear as he softly shook his head, probably removing those dirty scenes his head was mustering up.
I panned the camera to my face as I tucked my hair and smirked and bit my lip.
“Damn baby you look so good right now,” I whispered out. That puppy look of his was more visible as he pouted and the shade of pink turned darker. “T-thank you,” he whispered out too. “Could you show me the problem you were facing, hm?” A shy nod was done as he slowly went down to show a grey boxer. A large tent, no, a whole fucking campsite was donning there. It looked so hard and huge that I gulped at the scene. ‘Fuck that’s hot’ I mindlessly thought.
“It seems like a big problem babe. Could you remove those cute boxers of yours?” I spoke out after analysing that tasty scene. A hum was heard as his pale pretty hands went to remove the boxers and showed me his problem. ‘God, it’s so pretty,’ I gawked at it. There it was. The tip was flushed an angry shade of red and a large vein ran at the bottom of his dick. The tip was already leaking with a generous amount of clear pre-cum fluid and dribbled down to the base of his dick, connecting his balls.
“Baby, you got a pretty cock, did you know that before?” I spoke out softly as I kept a trained gaze on it. “N-No, not really…” Well good, no one was there to see him at this state and got the privilege to see the gem he holds. “Awe, well now you know. C’mon now, show me what you know.” I urged. “Uh…I don’t really know w-what to d-do, sorry…” Oh. Shocker. I mean it was expected of him, but this was fascinating. “Oh. Is that so? Well, let me guide you, okay?” A hum was heard again. Awesome. “So, do what I say accordingly if you want to feel maximum pleasure, alright?” Another hum was heard. “You gotta speak up baby, otherwise I won’t know.” “Ah! S-sorry, yes, I will follow accordingly…” A beaming grin appeared on my face as I stared at the screen.
“Good boy. Now I want you to wrap your pretty hands on that pretty cock of yours, okay? Start moving up and down and make sure to tease the tip.” As I finished my words he started to follow shortly to my advice. A few moans escaped his mouth as he did a continuous motion.
“Good boy, Now fasten up the pace just a bit,” Seconds later he started to go at a faster motion. The precum that was present now was slobbered over his pretty cock as it glistened in front of my eye. “Use your thumb to occasionally rub over the tip. Make sure you use your other hand to play with yourself.” I stated breathlessly. The scene displayed in front of me was just so fucking hot. Better than any porn I watched. More sweet noises were released from his fluttering lips and entered my ears. I relished the sight that was displayed in front of me.
His cock was reddened from the constant rubbing of the up and down motion. His hands started to slow down and let out a low grunt. “God, t-this feels s-so good…”. He faltered out followed by a small moan. “I’m glad you are enjoying this babe, c’mon quicken that pace.” Seconds later he followed the motion as I ordered him to do so. “Tell me, what are you imagining,” I whispered out as I bit my moan, feeling hot and bothered down there. “I-I ima-magine y-your uhm c-chest near my uh d-dick…and touching i-it.”
Oh. Oh wow. I hadn’t expected him to imagine something like that. This started to get me more excited. He’s got to have more kinks and deeper desires which I get to unravel and delve into his likes and dislikes. Maybe we have things in common and we can share them and enjoy them. “Go on darling.” I urged him impatiently wanting to hear the end of this imagination. “A-nd y-you thrust my dick in between them and…gosh this is embarrassing...” He let out with a quiet whine. “Hey, it’s not embarrassing. I’m learning to understand what you like or don’t like so we can further explore it with each other, next time that is. So please don’t be embarrassed for having preferences and desires, okay?” I reassured with as much as reasoning I could. I deeply wanted him to be comfortable with me and be able to share everything with me that is comfortable and not crossing his limit.
He panned the camera towards his face where he nodded and wiped something away from his eyes, what I presume are his tears. “T-thank you. I really appreciate it.” He spoke with a wobbly smile as he kept wiping his tears away. Giving a sad smile I motioned a half-hug where I put my phone to my chest and cradled it with my arms. After a few moments, I stopped and propped the phone on my blanket as I posed the same way I did in his favourite picture of mine. Smirking I motioned with my hand to keep the ball rolling. His eyes glistened as I felt the red tones forming on his youthful-looking cheeks. He nodded as he placed the camera view back to what now belongs to me. His moans kept reaching a new octave as I quickly reminded him. “Darling~ you can’t be too loud otherwise you will get caught now.” I spoke teasingly knowing he has no self-control over himself. “Oh y-yes s-sorry y/n…” coupled with some groans.
His hands went faster this time than before, probably gained some energy from the small rest when we shared a heartfelt conversation. More pre-cum leaked out and dribbled down and reached to the base of where his balls rested and now were covered by a slick of his juices. Getting lost in the view and the sweet sounds soothing my ears, an idea popped inside my head. I got on my knees and saw how my waist was only in view. I discarded my shirt and massaged my boobs. Going down again I spoke up “Hey sweetcheeks, have a look at what I’m showing.”
“Oh f-fuck, you ungh you have v-very beautiful uhh breasts.” He spoke out with great struggle. His tone sounded more pitchy, and his breath was significantly quicker than before. “Thank you~. I assume you are getting closer?” I questioned as I massaged my tits and pressed them together. “Y-yea-“and his response was cut short by a delicious revelation to me. a white spurt of cum jetted out from the tip and messily landed everywhere on his abdomen, milky thighs, and sheets. A louder moan was ripped out from his throat as he clenched his dick with his right hand.
That was a hot sight. “Mhm babe that looks so good. Wish that cum was on my chest though.” I spoke out in a daze light voice. My head imagined the scene right now and how I would have tasted them and kissed him, allowing him to taste how divine he was. Oh, there’s a great substitute for that. “Babe, scoop some of those precious cum on your fingers and stick it in your mouth. Show it to me while you’re at it.” I said laying on my back and holding the phone close to my face. A hum was heard as his slim fingers were coated by the slick juice and stuck it in his mouth that was drooling with saliva. A more satisfied moan was heard from him. it made me tad bit jealous that he got to taste himself and I couldn't. Well, I got to plan the next meet up as soon as possible which is today technically. “How’s the taste babe?” I inquired. “O-oh it tasted a bit tasteless but uhm it had a bit of sweetness to it. It wasn’t bad.” Hmph my turn better come up as soon as possible.
“Good, good. Well tell me how was it? Did you enjoy it?” I asked curiously. “Uhm oh yes! I felt really good and thank you for helping me w-with this.” He panned to his face where clearly showed his embarrassment and gratefulness. “That’s my job babe. I promise the moment the next time will be better when I’m there with you physically.” I smirked and let out a laugh. Noticing his tiredness and the time too I started to wrap up this amazing videocall I had experienced.
“Goodnight baby, I’ll see you today, okay? Rest well. You did well today” I spoke reassuringly as he let out a tired yawn and rubbed his eyes and nodded faintly. “Mngh, yes y/n. Thank you for today and night night”
I stared at him as he managed to fall asleep immediately. What a cutie. A few minutes later I ended the call and connected the phone to the charger. He’s so fucking adorable it kind of hurts. His feminine yet boyish looks are what caught my attention. Not to forget his smart intelligent brain that happens to solve critical problems in such a brilliant way, it was amazing. Well, I should go ahead and take a shower because that show he put up for me…was just extremely hot and gave me a problem.
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kcrossvine-art · 1 year
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Reader beware! Youre in for a scare. Awh its been a bit hasnt it? Between work and getting ill with the plague its been a longer time coming than intended for this dish. Perhaps fitting for our All Hallows Eve? Today from the Redwall Cookbook- is a science experiment im thankful didnt crawl back out the bin- Harvestberry  Sunset Pudd. 
(the original recipe is at the bottom if you’d like to follow along)-
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to a Harvestberry  Sunset Pudd?” YOU MIGHT ASK
raspeberries
blackberries
honey
white bread
whipped cream
Now, you wouldnt think this would be too bad right? "Those are simple ingredients and sure fruit is always temperamental and honeys a bitch to clean, but nothing too inedible". But, now, hold on a second, where does the bread come into play? Is it also for serving like the cream? 
No. No it fuckin isnt. The recipe asks you to line a deep bowl with crustless bread before putting the filling in it, letting it sit for 24 hours, and unmolding the filling from the bread.
(This is not a bread pudding. This is a fruit pudding.)
AND, “what does Harvestberry  Sunset Pudd taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
I know why it specifies 'a lot of whipped cream'
Its because its trying to hide.
this is an environment for growing mold or shrooms rather than the baking of a pudding. rancid sponge thing.
. used fresh fruit where fruit called for
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it is immensely offputting.
Its exactly what you'd think pouring a pan of fruit juice into a bowl of crustless bread and letting it sit for a day would be. The consistency is a mix between waterlogged papertowl and stale nothing. The fruit is the only alchemy here and its not good. The fruit turned from the punchy refreshing tartness of midfall to Bitter Gross Bad. I have no clue what the intent of this process was, let alone the bread bullfuckery, and when i tried to search it up i didn't find any relevant results or possible explanations as to why it made me do this. 
I made no assumptions before going in because sometimes baking chemical reactions are surprising.
Unveiling this waste of resources made me gag the first time i saw it and it made me gag trying to spoon it into the garbage as it squelched in resistance. Normally i dont do this, but everytime we cook something we take a picture for photo reference when making the illustration, and id desperately like to show you the photo reference so you can see how oddly fleshy it is. -
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I wouldnt be surprised if it started convulsing on the counter. If it had a heartbeat. Its sad how much of the autumn recipes have been flops??? I dont know why :( there was simply nothing in the recipe to make the pudding into a pudding, there was no 'glue' to give it adhesion or form. This one doesnt feel like something went wrong this one feels like the recipe was written wrong
I give this recipe a weak and shambling 1/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)
👻🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁👻
Ingredients:
1 pint (2 cups) fresh or frozen raspberries
1 pint (2 cups) fresh or frozen blackberries
6 tablespoons honey
One small loaf sliced white or wheat bread, crusts cut off
Whipped cream, for serving
Method:
In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the berries and honey. Bring to a simmer and cook for 10 minutes.
Line a deep round bowl with the bread, leaving no gaps. Spoon the cooked fruit into the bowl and top with the remaining bread, covering the fruit completely. Weigh down the pudding with a plate slightly smaller than the mouth ofthe bowl, and place something heavy (such as a can of beans) on top of the plate.
Refrigerate for 24 hours.
Gently unmold the pudding onto a serving plate and serve with lots of cream.
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austinsgirl · 1 year
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Rather Die | Chapter 3
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word count: 1852
rating: mild nsfw
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"Hey it's Austin. It was super nice meeting you & I can't wait to start working with you! Also, you're a great kisser by the way ☺️" A message from Austin pings to Victoria's phone.
Reading the message makes Victoria smile all giddy.
"Um, earth to Vic?" Eliana says.
"Oh sorry. Austin texted me. I'll text him back later, but he said Im a good kisser." Vic blushes.
"Oh shit. Alright, I see you Austin. Starting the flirting."
"I can't believe this is my life now. I'm going to work with that tall, sexy, blonde haired, blue eyed man & now he's kinda starting to flirting with me?"
"You're winning."
"So true. Love that for me."
"Do you know who else is in the cast for the movie?"
"I think Molly Ringwald is going to be in it, which is super exciting, as you know I love the John Hughes movies."
"Right, right. Seems like a cool story line. Are you hoping to hang out with Austin before hand?"
"I'm hoping so. Id really like to get to know him before filming."
"Well, seems like it's a possibility."
"Yeah. I can't wait to text him back."
The girls finish up at dinner, then head back home. Victoria goes upstairs & changes into comfy clothes and heads back downstairs to watch some TV before bed.
She pulls out her phone, and texts Austin back.
"Hey! It was nice meeting you too, and I can't wait either! And thank you. You weren't too bad yourself 😉"
Austin replies, "Oh really? Well, thank you. Id love to sit down and chat with you, get to know one another. Want to do drinks tomorrow night?"
"Sure, I'd love too! Where would you want to go?"
"There's this place I like called Lounge 86. We could go there?"
"Oh yeah, I've heard of that place! That works (:"
"Alright, so I'll pick you up tomorrow around 8:30?"
"Sounds great. I'll send you my address (:"
"Cool, I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night (:"
"You too (:"
Victoria is silently screaming to herself, not wanting to wake up Eliana if she's sleeping. She
cannot believe she's going out with Austin for drinks. Who would have ever thought?
The next day, Victoria's nerves were eating her alive.
"Babe, relax. It's not even a date. It's just drinks as friends." Eliana says to Vic, while she's making lunch for the two of them.
Vic paces back & forth. "I know, I know. But like, it basically is a date. We'll be alone, there's obviously chemistry between us. I feel like something is bound to happen."
"Maybe. Guess we'll see, but don't be nervous."
"Eli, this Austin Fucking Butler. The hottest guy on earth. I'm fucking nervous."
"You'll be fine. Here, eat your salad that I made just for you, then we can go pick out your outfit."
"Okay, okay."
The girls have their lunch, then go upstairs to Victoria's bedroom.
"Alright, so, what kind of vibe are we going for?" Eliana asks.
"I don't know. I guess hot, but classy?"
"Hm, okay. We could do a pant suit with a bralette underneath? A nice dress? Oo, how about this one? It's tight fitting, shows off the tits but not too much, with thick straps. Then pair it with a simple necklace & black pumps." Eliana holds up a black dress. Sexy but not too sexy. Classy, but not being super modest.
"Oh my god, yes. That's perfect. I wouldn't have even thought of that."
"You're welcome." Eliana winks.
Some time passes and Victoria gets ready for her night out.
She styles her golden brown locks up into twist, securing it with a clip. Her makeup is more on the natural side with some foundation, blush, mascara and a bit of eyeliner.
Once's she's beautified, she slips on her dress & pairs it with a simple plain heart necklace in silver.
There's a knock at the door. Must be Austin.
"I'll get it!!" Victoria yells from her room, slipping on her heels.
She scurries downstairs & answers the door.
Austin stands there in a striped navy suit with a plain black button down shirt underneath, of course the first few buttons being popped as usual, with a silver chain around his neck & heeled black boots.
"Hi." Victoria smiles.
"Hey." Austin smiles back. "You look great!"
"Oh, thanks. I just threw this on." she says jokingly.
"Ready to go?"
"Yeah, let's go."
They both walk out of the apartment building with smiles on their faces. Victoria can feel her stomach being in knots from being so nervous.
After getting into Austin's car, he drives them to the lounge where they'll exchange stories over drinks.
They immediately get seated at a table once they arrive, as Austin had made them a reservation.
They order their drinks and start the conversations.
"So, Victoria." Austin says.
"Mhm?"
"Tell me about you. Where are you from & all that."
"I'm from Auckland, New Zealand. I grew up with three older brothers, so I was the only girl plus the baby of the family. I've been acting for a few years now. Started off doing local stuff in New Zealand, then came here to LA. Wasn't super long after my ex & I broke up. You may have heard of him, Stephen James. He plays for the New York Rangers."
"Oh, yeah. I've heard of him. He's a good player. Crazy you both ended up in the US."
"Yeah, I feel like he followed me at first. He would hit me up every single time when he had a game here. Even though I would tell him no, or just not respond, he'd persist. It was annoying, but he's over it."
"How's New Zealand? I spent two years in Australia filming 'Elvis'. I can only assume they're pretty similar?"
"Yeah, they have their similarities. It's great there though. I miss it a lot. Im hoping once filming is done I can go back home to visit for a bit."
"I'll have to visit there someday. Maybe with you." Austin winks.
"Hmm, maybe. We'll see how things are in a few months." Vic smirks. "So how about you? Tell me some fun facts about 'Austin Butler'."
"Alright, uh, I was born in Anaheim, California. I have one older sister. My parents split when I was 7. I went to public school up to seventh grade then I was homeschooled to be more flexible with my acting gigs. Umm, my mom died when I was twenty three."
"Oh right, I remember you saying that in an interview. You were the same age as Elvis when he lost his mom. Im so sorry."
"Thanks. But yeah, we were the same age. It's one of the things that brought me close to him & made me really connect."
"I guess if we're getting that deep, I lost my dad when I was fifteen to heart failure. It'll be ten years this October, which is crazy."
"Oh my god. Victoria, I'm so sorry."
"Thanks. Crazy we both lost a parent so young."
"Yeah."
"How was it for you? Did it hit you really hard?"
"Yeah, it did. My mom was my best friend. I felt so lost. It's gotten easier of course, but that was the most difficult time in my life."
"I'm so sorry, Austin. I know that feeling. I was really close with my dad too. It was so sudden too. Like, even though he was in the ICU for a week & knew it was coming, it was still unexpected. I think I took almost a week off school because of how hurt I was."
"I guess I could say the same about my mom. Like, she had cancer. We knew it was a possibility of losing her, but when it happened, we weren't expecting it to be then."
"Right. Life's fucking crazy. You never know when you can have someone so important taken away from you."
"Yeah, it, uh, sucks to say the least."
"So is this movie your first project after Elvis?"
"No, this is my second. I did a mini series right after I finished Elvis, called Masters of the Air. It'll be out sometime next year."
"That sounds interesting. I still can't believe you played such an iconic person. I feel like I watched almost every interview you did. The dedication you put into it is astounding."
"Haha, thank you. Yeah, I'm really proud of it."
"Did you & Tom continue to write letters to each other in character after quarantine?"
"We did actually! It really helped to keep us in the mindsets of our characters."
"I think it's so cool that he got you a typewriter to do that. What a cool method."
"Yeah, it was great. I still have that typewriter too. I keep it in my office at home. I love it."
Austin & Victoria continue talking about their lives for another hour or so before heading out.
He drives back to her apartment building, thinking he was just going to drop her off.
"Want to come in?" Victoria asks.
"Sure." Austin smiles.
They make their way upstairs to the penthouse.
Quietly, they walk inside.
"Welcome to my humble abode." Vic says to Austin.
"Wow, this is a really nice place."
"Thanks." she smiles. "I love it here. Want anything to drink?"
"Just water is good. Thanks."
Victoria grabs a glass from the cupboard & fills it with ice and water. She goes over to meet Austin on the couch & hands the glass to him.
After taking a sip, "Tonight was really nice. Thanks for coming out with me." Austin says, setting the glass on the table in front of him.
"Thanks for inviting me. I had fun."
"Me too."
Austin looks deeply into Victoria's eyes, then to her lips. He leans in, pressing his lips to hers.
Victoria responds and kisses back. She wraps his arms around his neck, while deepening the kiss.
Austin runs his hands up her thighs, taking the hem of her dress into his hands, working her dress up her thighs to give himself access.
He starts to rub on her center, over her panties. Vic breaks the kiss for air, letting out a moan from his touch. Austin moves his lips to her neck.
He then decides to move her panties over, slipping in two fingers as his thumb plays with her clit.
"Austin, oh my god. That feels so good." Victoria moans out, before quickly realizing, even though she wants this, she doesn't. "Wait, wait. I dont think we should do this."
Austin keeps going, "Why not?"
"This is too quick. And I don't want our chemistry to run out so soon. I don't want this effecting our work."
Austin stops. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done anything."
"No, no. It's okay. It was fun, really. But I think work wise, it'd be for the best."
"Alright. I, uh, I think I'll head out. Thanks for the fun night."
"Same to you."
Austin kisses her on the cheek before leaving.
Once he's gone, Vic lays back on the couch in disbelief.
She says to herself, "What the hell just happened...."
—————————————————————
Chapter 4
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softxsuki · 8 months
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hiya! i was wondering if i could join in on the matchup thingys, if it isn’t too late! for haikyuu, romantic. :) im rae! im a december capricorn and isfp. my pronouns are she/her, im unlabeled but prefer men lol. i would say im the type of person who’s quiet and introverted at first then chaotic when i get close with people. i tend to always look out for people without taking care of myself, i have a lot of sympathy for people as well and id much rather keep my emotions to myself then vent to people. i get attached easily. i like to be alone but hate to feel lonely. i love music, astrology, cooking and cooler weather. i love helping people out, i like to take care of people almost, so kind of the mom friend lol! i love to watch sports but hate to play. i always overthink and have a hunch though, i’ll do the random things friends tell me to do haha. im the shorter friend, the one they use as an arm rest. my love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. hmm i always try and find joy when hanging out with people. i also hate to see the bad in people, a person could betray me and i’d still the good in them. that’s all i can think of right now, i hope you’re having a good day and resting well!
1000 Follower Event Matchup #33
This event is CLOSED. The event masterlist is here.
Note: Hi rae <3 Lovely meeting you, thanks for particiapting! I hope you're still around to read this FNJEAKFE, I know it's taken me a while to write this for you. I actually enjoyed writing this one so I hope you like it!
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I match you with OIKAWA
Runner-up: Kuroo
Oikawa:
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I feel like this is such an unlikely pair, because you’re both very different, but I thought it over and I think it would be a really cute match :( <3
He’s very over the top dramatic and out there, whereas you’re more reserved and kind, so I think together, you help balance each other out
You help pull him back a bit, kinda like Iwaizumi, and he helps bring you out of your shell a bit
Does he have tons of fangirls? Yes
But as soon as he starts a relationship with you, you become the only fans he sees or needs
During a game, you’re the first person he looks for in the crowd, and insists that you blow him a kiss before each match despite how embarrassed that may make you
He’s always got his hands somewhere on you, whether it be around your waist, holding your hand, or hugging you tight, this man is clingy with his lover
He’s also not afraid to compliment you and verbally express his affection towards you, 
You bring out the best in him and in return he wants to ensure you feel safe and loved with him around
Since you’re usually the mom in your friend group, you’d have no issue taking care of Oikawa in the way he needs
He goes overboard sometimes and Iwaizumi stop him all the time, so that’s where you come in–you’re the only one he fully listens to 
DO YOU SEE THE POTENTIAL HERE? This could be so cute 😍
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EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN
Posted: 9/6/2023
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controversialcoven · 1 year
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I think I might make a series where I draw homestuck characters to some of my favorite quotes
Here are some of the quotes if anyone is interested
Tumblr loves to fuck up my readmore section so sorry if things are repeated or look weird fhshfhsbd
“If you worship someone too much you’ll end up losing your freedom”
“Human beings are love in motion”
“So you dodged a bullet that you wanted to take”
“You nailed down the windows and locked the doors but the cold was coming from inside”
“Of all the things you fuck I’m the most empty”
“And being my moms least favorite only child must mean I’m her favorite too”
“You can’t light a fire that’s already burnt out”
“He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair, and then he looked right through me as if I wasn’t there”
“Just let her crash and burn, she’ll learn, the attention just encourages her”
“It’s a felony in Florida to own a fake ID so tell me am I guilty if I change when no one is near me”
“The living need attention too”
“I will not let my grandparents bury their grandchild”
“We rise up to fight just to die, that’s just how the world works sometimes”
“For human grossly under qualified, for canine grossly overqualified”
“Kiss me with forever where only death remains”
“Your insides were never my size”
“I dig a hole in search of kites”
“This was all new to me once, and when it was it was so easy to love”
“I can’t feel my heartbeat so why would you give me a heart?”
“Falling in love with someone is wonderful so don’t call yourself the devil. I love you”
“If I’ve no one to fight how do I know who I am”
“Just because we live doesn’t not mean that we’ve survived”
“She tells the clock what time it is”
“To love and to be loved is to rest”
“I am that which seeks to know the compassion of the goddess within”
“Only once you’ve been unsheltered you can stand in the sunlight”
“Life is both mundane; life is beautiful”
“Being known is being loved”
“I am a mosaic of everyone I’ve ever loved, even for a heartbeat”
“yeah im perceiving the horrors but i’m also perceiving the beauty of life as well”
“And when we kill the gods neither heaven nor hell will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us”
“I wouldn’t change a thing, you’re the one I want to sink with”
“We live because of the dead”
“Spun sugar melts in water anyways”
“So what if I do it for attention, does that really make me bad?”
“We can’t go back, only forwards”
“Thy who bites is truly the bitten.”
“The pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing”
“I was like a patient who cannot tell the doctor where it hurts, only that it does”
“I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand”
“It is not what you want but it is what you chase”
“In the name of peace we bring war”
“If wellness is this, what in hells name is sickness?”
“Unknowingly I prepare my punishment before I commit my crime”
“I've got no celebration, just this consolation; time eats all his children in the end.”
“I choose to burn out rather than fade away”
“At night I burn myself with cigarettes just to prove I’m still alive”
“Darling, it's the end of the world! We've reached the end of our usefulness and now we're doomed, let's waltz into the grave together!”
“We see the images flashing by, but cannot remember the names, just the fragmented memories that came along with it.”
“I’ve found another sense of comfort, another friend, another place to rest my head.”
“I strived to be like them. But I was still alone.”
“He came out in the end, losing more than anyone else.”
“Every time I listen to this I space out and think about everything I've ever done. All my choices and how they got me here. All the lessons I've learned, people I've met, things I regret, and things I wish I could change. All of it just seems so fast paced. Like I never experienced all of it. Thank you.”
“from ashes i was made, and ashes i return, and so i walk alone, and wonder why?”
“I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people”
“Time will not wait for those who are late”
“With the morning starlight and the midnight sun, we spin around until we’re one”
“She’s not what I wanted, she’s what I didn’t know I needed”
“She may not satisfy my desires, but she satisfies my heart”
“I want to find peace of mind, maybe no mind is the answer to that conundrum”
“Tomorow is nearly yesterday and everything is stupid”
“But I couldn’t escape myself no matter how badly I wanted to”
“Do the gods mourn their fallen?”
“You come into the kings court holding the hat of a jester and expect not to be laughed at?”
“You can fall asleep and wake up drunk on the sky”
“Not a girl, not a boy, just a little baby”
“Make a hell out of demons haven”
“A subtle drop of poison a day keeps the kings will at bay”
“To look death in the eye and not welcome her with open arms is to not accept life at all”
“I miss you like a past life, I can’t remember if you were ever mine to miss. I missed you like we both died, a star crossed endeavor. I’ll miss you in the next life.”
“All of existence had her hand tenderly upon your hip”
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asking-jude · 1 year
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cant talk to anyone irl about this so here i am lol. my mom used to make comments about my body, and how id be so much pretty if i lost some weight (when her comments started getting to me i looked up my bmi (ik bmi isnt the best assessment of weight/ health) to see if i was really that bad and i was normal leaning underweight) that kinda helped me, and i felt better for a while, and her comments on my body stopped (but her comments on her own never did) but i guess in quarantine it got to me more than i thought lol i started browsing the ed side of tumblr and downloaded a calorie tracking app, for two weeks i ate less than it recommended (im an overachiever lol) but i didn't lose any weight (technically i did but it wasn't visible so it doesn't really count lol) but the whole time i was terrified of depriving my body of fuel, accidentally starving myself, and overall doing more harm than good(which is why i refused to purge or fast) so i deleted the app and stopped. this was one or two years ago, so i thought it was over it, but lately the little nagging voice thats been telling me how much better id look and feel if i lost weight is getting louder (and more convincing). i want to lose weight but I don't want to do it unhealthy/obsessively or spiral out of control. any advice? (i dont think i had an ed, just an unhealthy relationship (ig fear would be more accurate lol) w/ calories/food in general)
Hi love,
Thank you for opening up and sharing this information with me. I know it can be hard to feel like you’re going through this alone, so I want to ensure you that we are always here to listen.
I first want to start by saying that it is never acceptable for someone to make disparaging comments about your body, even if it is someone in your family. It looks like you mentioned your mother has also made comments about her own body and appearance, so you may or may not be aware of the idea of projection. If you’re not familiar with this idea then a basic explanation is when someone unconsciously transfers their own feelings or emotions onto someone else. From what you’ve described, it seems that your mother is placing her own insecurities and negative body image on you, which has left you feeling self-conscious about your own body. Remember that her comments are not a reflection of your worth or value as a person.
It’s more than understandable that the cumulative stress of quarantine and the comments from your mother have led you down this path of an unhealthy relationship with body image and food, but know that there are ways to move forward. It’s also not uncommon for these thoughts from the past to resurface. Just know that these are just thoughts, and thoughts don’t always have to be acted on.
One way to cope with these thoughts is to practice self-compassion. Reminding yourself that you’re valuable and deserving of love and respect can help you counteract the negative self-talk and build a more positive relationship with your body and self-image. Body neutrality is another idea sort of related to this. Body neutrality is the idea of accepting your body as it is, without judgment or attachment to your appearance. By focusing on how your body feels rather than how it looks, you can develop a more mindful and intuitive approach to eating and exercise.
This article provides practical tips and strategies for practicing self-compassion, which can help reduce self-criticism and promote self-acceptance: https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/.
Sometimes practicing body positivity can be really hard, especially when you feel like you don’t have the most positive mindset right now. Try reading this article to understand more about body neutrality. It provides a few practical ways for incorporating this idea into your life: https://tinyurl.com/52z8t7j4.
It’s great that you’re trying to refocus these negative thoughts into bettering yourself in a healthy way. I can give you a few tips on how to start. First, try to challenge these thoughts by not focusing on weight or a number on a scale. Remind yourself of all the positive things about your body. Focus on your overall health and nourish your body with balanced meals and physical activity.
Second, you can try surrounding yourself with positive influences and friends that can encourage you to make healthy choices. Have you ever sought therapy to help you work through these negative voices/thoughts? A therapist or counselor can help you to develop coping strategies and build self-confidence. If a therapist isn't financially viable for you, Asking Jude has pay-what-you-want, remote peer counseling services; for more information, contact [email protected].
Don’t feel pressured to get over these thoughts in a set amount of time. Be patient with yourself and remember it’s possible to build a healthy relationship with your body.
Here you’ll find guidance on how to navigate weight loss after experiencing disordered eating, including tips on developing a healthy mindset and setting realistic goals: https://tinyurl.com/2x9zh69b.
"Healthy Eating Plate," created by Harvard University, provides practical advice and a visual guide for individuals to adopt a healthier and balanced diet: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-eating-plate/.
If you’d like to develop a healthy exercise routine, try reading this article that provides practical tips for recognizing and managing triggers, choosing the right exercise environment and equipment, and seeking social support: https://tinyurl.com/3vtmcnkw.
Finally, if you ever need to talk to anyone, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Here is the link to a national toll-free helpline, online chat support, and phone number: https://tinyurl.com/2z4ydwbc.
Please take care of yourself and always be patient. Feel free to reach out again if you need to.
We’ll be happy to help, Mikayla
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self-h-rmageddon · 2 months
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i used to be able to just like. yap for eternity like, it was my favorite thing ever!!
just go somewhere and TALK talk alone, talk for no one, talk til i had nothing to say anymore but recently ive noticed it makes me feel.. worse? like. i was supposed to just JERK OFF AND GO TO BED like . at 9 pm last night 💀 and i stayed up til like 3 am, ive just been talkin and i watched a movie, that was nice.. i miss it? something inside of me is really really sad right now and i cant quite figure out why. its like a weird puzzle, trying to navigate my brain cuz like i KNOW something wrong, but what? whats bothering me? idont understand. maybe im scared of annoying people again, but.. was i scared of that before too? i dont remember if i was or not. what do i even miss? i dont know, i miss? i dont know what i miss. i miss something, probably
maybe thats whats bothering me, i feel like ive lost something, do i feel like ive lost the ability to be comfortable just.. talking ? maybe a little.. some people followed me after i posted my spamton art and anytime that sort of thing happens, i always feel . i feel so horribly guilty!!! youve followed me for that, not to hear me chatter endlessly about whatever comes to my mind. i know i shouldnt care, but im just scared of annoying people, cuz i really do love to talk!!! i love talking about things i like, but.. something is holding me back? it feels like it, i dont know why. i think its just mental barriers. i was so up front and proud of how much i love spamton g spamton, how much i love A LOT of characters. then i made friends and i felt ashamed and embarrassed. is that all it takes? once you have a set of eyes on you that matters, you fold? i feel like that about a lot of things, maybe thats one of the reasons ive been quieter than im used to being
i think im scared, i think it scares me to imagine ever saying anything and having them be like. "eugh." like?? death id prefer death. without them even asking for it ive just kinda cut bits and pieces off to save myself from POTENTIAL rejection, the. i just want to be someone that is adored, as selfish as it is, of course ill change to get that
i think it sorta.. i . its hard to explain, but loving people when you have bpd feels like you will never ever be loved equally, because i have endless devotion and admiration, theres hardly a single thing i dont love about the people i care about, to the point where its a fault. ive let people get away with terrible things, just cuz i loved them so much i didnt care what happened to me. and sometimes it hurts real bad when i remember that the way i love isnt normal, no one could ever love me like that. its why im on edge, the fear of saying something wrong, the fear of cracking this image. they like me, dont they? what if i say something wrong and for even a small second they like me just a little bit less? it makes me chest hurt just thinking about it, its terrifying. if they like me less for a second, maybe.. the rose tinted glasses will shatter, maybe theyll realize im not all that great, maybe itll be over, gone, DONE. finished, ended . dead. i dont want that, its logical to do everything i can to avoid that right?
terrible fate, thats how i see it. the end of all things. worst possible thing to ever happen to me. id rather relive all my trauma over again than lose anyone, id rather anything else. the way i feel is extreme, but. im known for that i guess 💀 its fear, im scared. scared, what if im annoying? i get afraid of annoying STRANGERS, of course im terrified to annoy my best friends. annoying, maybe when im talking to myself about shit they dont care about, its just filler words. garbage, static , words from my mouth and it means nothing to them. isnt that thought so scary? it is to me, i hang on to every word, every stupid joke, every laugh and .
what do i feel now? im working myself up over something that hasnt even happened. ive upset myself over the IDEA of a problem, the thought that maybe something might be wrong. whatever. i think i have this intense loathing for myself, thats the thing?
with bpd, you split. yr thinking isnt clear, its black and white. painful, so painful, but.. im not some mindless monster that just lashes out. thats terrifying, id have no one if i did that right? so i split on myself instead, all that anger and pain is directed at me from inside, it rips me apart. suddenly i can see every flaw, every annoying thing ive ever done every awkward sentence, every joke that didnt land. every opportunity, every single thing that could take it all away from me. as innocent as they are it seems like genuinely theres these big ugly lacerations on my body every time i feel like im possibly maybe not being as charming as id hope to be, ugly scars that ward people off, my blood gets everywhere and it grosses them out, they scoot away an inch for every cut. i know its not true.. i make friends with good people!! the best people, it just.. its what im scared of, which in my eyes means that its true because if im scared of it, there msut be a reason why im scared ofit? it must be actively happening! every rejection of my being is a step closer to abandonment, i g
ive been doing really good, i think. im not so scared of being abandoned because ive been reassured over and over again and i dont have the heart to think past all that work thats been done for me. ive hardly thought about it, anytime i get scared i just remember the things that have been said to me, how secure my place is here. its true, surely.. but this fear is natural for me. its 2nd nature, this fear puts actions in motion to prevent abandonment. fear keeps me safe, keeps me in that little box i think people want me in. the little box that says im okay! im a good person, every aspect of me they can see in the box is enjoyable, who cares if i feel like i need to cut some pieces off to fit there?
i know in my heart its not what they want. im moving too fast, im bracing again. i just get scared, maybe im just needy. what, i need eyes on me? need to feel seen and appreciated with everything i do? if nothing else, at least THAT is 100% selfish, ive been doing better recently... but sometimes its hard not to fall back on those instincts
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