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#im putting this in the tags because im a coward
forgotten-rain · 4 months
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more people need to talk about how
1. Gale thinks the world is better off without him in it.
He thinks the mistake he made was so monumental that it's not even worth him being alive anymore. He thinks that if he does as Mystra asks and blows himself up to kill the elder brain, then at least his folly would amount to something. He's lived for a year in darkness and isolation and convinced himself that the only way to move forward is by somehow regaining his goddess's favour, and if he can't do that then he's not worth the air he breathes. He wants so desperately to matter, to mean something, that he's willing to throw his whole life away to garner even a fraction of the love Mystra used to bestow upon him. He's a brilliant man, an incredible wizard, kind-hearted, and trying so damn hard to do the right thing, but somehow he fails to see all those qualities and puts his worth solely on a single mistake he made that he made out of love. Out of ambition and out of desire, but ultimately out of love. And now, after spending months in self-imposed isolation, the only future he sees for this world is one where he's not in it. And,
2. That he doesn't think he's worthy of Tav. He doesn't believe that anyone can love him as he is, no matter how often Tav tries to convince him otherwise. If a literal god deemed him unworthy, then who is he to claim he isn't? He finds the ability to love again with Tav, starts the slow and excruciating journey of healing together with them, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he still believes he's not good enough. He wants to be more. He wants to be everything that Tav wants him to be. He wants to be everything Tav needs him to be. He wants to prove to them that he can be a good fighter, a good lover, a good friend. That's why he asks again and again if they wouldn't love him better if he were a god. If he was perfect - truly perfect. If he could command armies and fell kingdoms, if he could give them everything they could ever dream of. Wouldn't Tav want that? Why would they want his battered, broken, mortal self when they could have a perfected version of him? What beauty is there in failure, in making mistakes, in being flawed? Even when Tav insists that they love him for who he is, not for the power he would wield, he struggles to accept it. He trusts that they're telling the truth, but he's been a wizard of renown for so long that he doesn't quite know how to be a regular man any more. His whole notion of worth has been tied so tightly with power and control for so long that he's forgotten what it is like to be loved simply for being who he is. Not the Wizard of Waterdeep. Not Mystra's Chosen. But a man, wandering in the dark like everyone else, afraid, but so full of hope.
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Sorry to keep throwing Miscellaneous Asks your way, but I finally had a moment to get my thoughts in order on one of the points on your Venn diagram I wanted to talk about! I always kind of debate whether or not to send other, semi-unrelated long asks like this when we've already got a chain going, but oh well. I'll try and address anything brought up in response here in the main one and hopefully it doesn't get confusing lol.
So I was thinking about the extent of Jo and Arakawa's relationship. It is completely true there's not much you can say that's concrete, especially since most of what we see is from Jo's perspective. Although his perspective is crucial to forming an understanding of their relationship, it's not sufficient. This is particularly the case because, coming back to giri-ninjo for a moment, Jo is largely bound by giri; it's clear his loyalty runs deep, but it's not a choice for him.
Arakawa, on the other hand, can choose who he places his trust in, especially early on. And I think it's incredibly important that, despite having men who've already been with him from day 1, men who've already been helping him with his son, Arakawa chooses to "place every confidence" in Jo (per an old Famitsu profile, one of the first official ones) and chooses to make Jo his captain.
Similarly, he kind of chooses Jo "over" Ichi in sending Ichi to prison "instead of" Jo. Perhaps the family really would collapse without Jo's talents, but… does it have to collapse entirely? Didn't Arakawa make it pretty far on his own? I guess it's neither here nor there, but I've always wondered if things would've really played out as feared if Jo went to prison instead. Not to understate Jo's role in the family, of course.
Anyway, I think that trust shows not only in overt gestures such as entrusting Masato and the family's finances to Jo, but also in more subtle behind-the-scenes ways, such as what we were talking about before with regard to New Year's 2001. There's also the fact that leaking information to Aoki was Jo's idea; for that to be the case, Arakawa would have to discuss Aoki's threats at length with Jo. (Unrelated, but come to think of it, "complying with him [to] make him see value in keeping us around" is very often the strategy of victims of abuse and neglect…)
And this one's an underrated detail many people miss, but after Arakawa shot Ichi, while he was able to come up to Ichi to tell him he's counting on him and sneak in the fake bill, if the goal was to not arouse suspicion, I don't think he would exactly have been able to excuse himself from the dinner to drive Ichi to Yokohama. Time was of the essence in terms of Ichi's survival, so that leaves Jo, who was conveniently already at the scene and who was certainly in on the "secret rule" that constitutes part of the Arakawa Family's agreement with the homeless camp. Overall, there is a pattern of Arakawa approaching Jo before anyone else, isn't there?
Sort of branching off of that, I would personally feel comfortable saying that Jo knows Arakawa better than anyone else. He seems to know details about Akane and New Year's 1976 no one else does, details Arakawa would have had to volunteer himself, and that plus his own experiences are what allow him alone to have the most complete picture of that night.
I also get the impression Jo understands Arakawa better as a person than anyone else--certainly better than Aoki, but perhaps even better than Ichi in some cases. There are multiple instances where he defends Arakawa and challenges their perceptions of him--that he's "betrayed" the Tojo Clan, that he's betrayed Aoki, that he's the type to scheme and make power-plays behind Aoki's back. He hasn't. And, despite how little Jo's "allowed" to say, he turns out to be right every time. Also worth noting Arakawa does something similar in asking Ichi to try and understand Jo's frustrations, though he's more or less enabling Jo's abuse in doing so.
Lastly, The Smallest Detail that drives me kind of insane. Them arriving at the office in the back seat of the same car in one of Ichi's flashbacks. I wouldn't think too much of it if it were any other time of day, but the first-thing-in-the-morning quality and the fact Jo isn't driving (thus it's not as an act of service but as an equal) is like… Okay. You're carpooling to work. And if you're not carpooling, you're honest-to-god living together. What the hell.
So a lot of it is this web of inferences--it has to be, at least currently--but I really do think there's a lot to chew on. More than meets the eye, anyway. I've also been stewing in all of this for years, especially since drafting Jo's relationships section, so I might just have inhaled the fumes for too long lol
Thank you for coming to me about the nature of their relationship! Although I did put it down as being more-or-less 'uncertain' on my chart, I do agree that their relationship isn't as cut-and-dry as other relationships might be (it's going back to appreciating the complexities of RGG relationships, especially in the case of the Arakawa's where for every party involved it really IS complicated)
I wanted to exclude making any definitive statements on things that couldn't be verified without making a detour on the original post (I know I already mentioned frequently that Arakawa is able to joke about Jo being 'softer' on Masato, but I do think about their relationship often and the implied depth of Jo's loyalty if- as you said- he was able to climb through the ranks of the Arakawa family much quicker than preexisting members), but there are clear points in the game that due allude to a great trust between the two (and I also note that carpooling detail during Ichi's flashback- or at the very least I know I'd find myself noticing Jo sitting in the back opposed to the front/driving). It's definitely not hard to assert that Jo knows Arakawa well either, it's hard not to come to that conclusion when we have evidence from the game to infer that.
#long post#fave#i should prob come up with an actual tag for these asks so i can easily find them and not sift through my other fave'd posts#ill do it in the morning im right about to go to bed but i just saw this pop up on my notifications#and well. we know me i've been presented an itch i have to scratch LMAO#snap chats#i feel a bit silly now- i know that their relationship isn't exactly. 'uncertain' but i didnt want to put that so i didn't appear#hmm.. i dont know the word for it.#i guess because it's not AS blatant as daigo and mine's relationship was#i didnt want to make it appear as though i was saying theres more when there isnt?? tho there definitely is..#its a little evident i Am interested in the depths of their relationship so i promise ive thought about it#maybe i just wasnt sure how to exactly word it.. though in review the way i worded it on my chart#wasn't HORRIBLE. to most standards anyway i think however it definitely undermines the bond they have and for that#'ashamed' is hyperbolic i feel like someone would say so we'll go with 'embarrassed' to meet in the middle#but thats the benefit of peer review isnt it- just to help catch your mistakes or to help reaffirm ideas so im grateful!#but x2 again in review im a silly coward for doubting my gut on that#tho i sort of do want to torch that post- i wont tho. it's not supposed to be SUPER deep just very quick notes#so i guess i'll save the Deep Dive on jo and masumi's relationship for a future post. is what ill tell myself to keep myself sane#thank you for compiling- i suppose i'll call- their moments together !#it's a great way to keep track of every important note on their relationship that i hope people will take note of if they havent
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currentlyonstandbi · 1 year
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#look this was probably the most experimental post i've ever done considering i had to make the newspaper article from scratch#and to be entirely honest i uuuh im not happy with it lmao#i should've done an obituary instead of the article but too late ! i have no energy to start again#but whatever .the point is that the article is supposed to allude to alex's death okay so yes obituary would've worked better but too bad#idk i think i just had a massive brain blegh halfway through which sucks because i was thinking about this post all day#but the idea behind the whole concept and the QUOTE in the first place and the stupid article concept#was the idea that nigel wasn't the only one to kill himself at the end of the film#alex did too . just not in the literal sense#alex kills the old version of himself . kills the who he used to be#this did not do that quote or the intention behind the post justice but i'm just gonna dump it here and go#also deep in tags is the best place for me to put the random shit i'm thinking of and i've had the trainyard scene on my mind lately#but i left my thoughts to simmer too long and now it's been reduced into thickness 😞 but anyway#greg may have been too much of a coward to give them the maraclea ending they deserved#but he will never be able to take away the fact that the trainyard scene will always be their version of the myth TO ME and me only probs#okay because that story is supposed to parallel the typical conventions of marriage - the consumation when he lays with the body#and then 9 months later the skull symbolises a birth resulting from their union#that moment at the railway ? where nigel shoots himself with the very gun alex is holding?#that's their consumation babes; their union; their wedding#'pray for me pray for yourself we're one now' may as well be their vows#and what do we get as a result of that union 9 months later? we get jack#jack is the product of these 2 people becoming 1 and just like the skull granted great power to the lord#so too does jack grant power to alex; the power to take control of his life and forge his own path forward#me making this post 🤝 cats : oooooo big stretch#seriously#lowkey glad no one will see this in the tag search lmao#like minds
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transsexualism · 1 year
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stormyoceans · 2 years
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[taps mic] yes hello um vegaspete and phayurain are nothing alike and don’t have anything in common. in this essay i will [gets sniped out of existence]
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thebonevault · 2 years
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Everyone look at what @inazumaneko drew over on artfight!
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pinkseas · 2 years
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for the ask game!
The Egg did this to you, you know. You hate it more than anything. You want to tear it to shreds, want to watch it bleed and wither and rot into nothingness. You want to dig your way to its core and settle yourself in its warmth, to infect it from the inside out and watch it shrivel and die around you. You want to make it hurt the way that it hurt you.
But you miss it, too. You hate it more than anything and you miss it, even though you know you shouldn't, even though it makes you feel sick, disgusting, ashamed. What kind of person loves the thing that killed them? What kind of person loves the thing that hurt so many people?
The Egg loved you at the same time that it made you unworthy of love. It gave you a purpose, a home, at the same time that it made sure you wouldn't belong anywhere other than by its side again.
You want to rip it open and crawl inside of it and never feel cold again. You want to tear it apart with your bare hands. You want to sink your teeth into its flesh and consume it until the hole it left inside of you has been filled. You want to hear it scream. You want to let it rot your heart until there's nothing left of you. You want to eat it alive. You want bloodvines to wrap around your throat and drag you back into the earth. Do you want to kill it, or do you want it to kill you? The line blurs, and blurs, and blurs.
Not that it matters. It's already dead, and you think you are too.
ANONNNNNNNNNN god this scene was so. it was so. it was very Interesting to write this is one of the ones where half the time i look back and im like "god i love that for me" and half the time i look back and im like "what the Fuck"
okay, so, heres the thing. i see a LOT of symbolism and potential with the egg, shit like addiction and dependency and especially abuse. and that aspect is what i was really trying to highlight here. i wanted to express how difficult the aftermath of a heavily dependent, abusive relationship is- feeling like it shaped you yet wanting nothing to do with it, wondering if you know how to exist without it, feeling like you owe it everything and like it killed you all at once.
and those feelings get intense. whether one way or another they can get VERY extreme, which is a lot of what that first (and second to last) paragraph is, trying to highlight how vicious those thoughts are. "You want to dig your way to its core and settle yourself in its warmth, to infect it from the inside out and watch it shrivel and die around you." is pretty much exactly what the next sentence says it is- its how i picture what the eggpire feels the egg did to it, seeping into their very being and rotting them from the inside out.
but yeah this entire excerpt altogether was done to highlight the conflicting love and hate that comes during/after abusive relationships like that.
#mmmmmm putting this in the tags bc i am a COWARD!!!!!!#but most of this scene i was thinking about my own experience with relationships like that#i actually ended up telling my therapist about this fic and talking to her a lot about it#because writing it brought a certain level of emotional catharsis#ive almost ENTIRELY processed all of my own shit in terms of everything that happened and im largely passed it#past it* oops#but i see a lot of what happened with me personally in what happened with the egg and the eggpire#so writing this was like. a way to express that?#with obviously the first chapter focusing a lot on those darker thoughts and the isolation and the spiral#and the second focusing SO heavily on the healing because thats the aspect thats the most important to me#the second chapter was NOT based on my own experience emotionally but it was so fucking enjoyable to just. idk.#write people who'd gone through the same shit experiencing different consequences and struggling with different aspects#all coming together to help each other and themselves in the aftermath#the ONLY thing i know about the second chapter is that someone liked my skeppy headcanon i have no idea if it was good or not#idk how my characterization was if it was alright or garbage or swapped between the two#and that makes me really nervous but at the same time#it was so enjoyable to write that healing process that even when i DO get nervous about it i cant entirely bring myself to care#i sort of automatically seek external validation but at the end of the day i wrote this fic entirely for myself#and ill always be really happy with that fact#I GOT SO OFF TOPIC but yeah so a lot of those extreme thoughts were like#me drawing from my own experience and my own more extreme and vicious thoughts. and my own extreme and more vicious love#things that are very thankfully years past me now but that i still remember pretty clearly
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transvoxman · 2 years
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#god fucking damn it. i am giving in and making a vent post made entirely in the tags#whatever terror laserblast wouldve gone through if he decided to be upfront with POINT and not fake his death. im going THROUGH it#sure would be nice if people could be happy for me going on T. instead of reacting like theyre at a goddamn funeral.#me n laserblast are both very much cowards who care more about what others think than about being who we are#but *I'm* subjecting myself to coming out to people before T forces me to be out whether i like it or not#and its so fucking scary. i literally feel anxiety nausea 24/7 and start literally Shaking when i think about it#i can barely function from being so scared of how theyll react.#im literally financially independent and will be 100% safe no matter how they react!!! im just THAT scared of what other people think of me#and obviously i dont have anyone irl who is supportive and happy for me otherwise i wouldnt be venting on goddamn tumblr#nothing more heartbreaking than needing to go through something that im overjoyed about without being able to celebrate it with ANYONE#its also infuriating. i couldve been on T *years* ago if i had supportive people in my life.#i dropped out of COLLEGE because of dysphoria. i couldve had a DEGREE by now#transphobia takes so many possibilities away from people.#well im not letting it take anything else away from me. im not letting ANY amount of fear stop me anymore. people can fucking deal with it.#im not putting up the facade of my gender assigned at birth anymore.#no matter what happens next.#im trying so hard to genuinely believe it when i say 'fuck it im gonna transition no matter what' but anger is so difficult to hold on to.#it takes so much energy. its easier to just feel heartbroken about people i care about cutting me out of their lives.#well. itll get easier eventually. its just gonna suck more than anything else thats ever happened in my life first.
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Nonbinary Erasure within Campaign Three Ships: A Critical Role Fandom Observation
Caveat, this is a personal observation. Ship what you want, I don't care, but I personally probably won't continue engaging with this ship for the reasons outlined below.
Something that bothers me immensely and (as an ENBY person myself) gives me quite a bit of ick in the current Critical Role fandom, is the ongoing inclusion of Ashton in ships with Orym. Either by themselves or with a third party.
As Orym himself says in Episode 27, A Race for the Prize:
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(image id: a screenshot from the CR Linkable Transcript website. Liam: I... I only like guys [timestamp 01:32:17] Erika: Great, cool. Liam: So it's not a-- and it's more than that. It's complicated. I just start walking away.)
Orym presumably turns down a canonically nonbinary character because they are categorically not a man. (Among other reasons we can only speculate about.) Which is perfectly fine and valid! People are allowed to have preferences and specific personal attractions!
And, as far as I can tell, this has been respected by fandom! Orym and Yu are not a ship, in large part due to the fact that Yu is nonbinary! (And also a backstabbing fey assassin but that's not relevant here.)
That brings me to the crux of the matter... Orym is shipped with Ashton with increasing frequency. Ashton is also nonbinary.
And again, as an enby person myself, that gives me quite a bit of uncomfortable pause.
So, lets briefly examine what it means to be nonbinary. This is incredibly personal and subject to all manner of varied interpretations but boiled down to it's bare essence it means not of the binary. Not a man, not a woman, but a secret third and very personal thing. One can present masculine or feminine but at the end of the day they are NOT part of the binary, they are not man-lite or woman-lite, they are their own thing. Their own incredibly personal thing.
And fandom ignoring that to ship Ashton with Orym, who has clearly stated he is only into men... it makes me uncomfortable. It feels like fandom is seeing Ashton as a man, when they are canonically not.
Not to mention the uh... casual transphobia of assuming feminine traits to Yu and masculine traits to Ashton based on their player characters, one of whom is out as genderfluid.
So yeah, tldr; shipping Orym with Ashton in current canon feels kind of gross to me because it feels like reducing Ashton to assumed genitals.
And that's not ok.
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oopsalltes · 1 year
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ahaha if anyone wants to hear me ramble about kirby of the wishing star stuff ... im always open ...
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pierregazly · 8 months
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i know places ꨄ charles leclerc smau
charles leclerc x fem!reader
or 4 times charles soft launched you, and the one time he hard launched you so hard it almost caused whiplash
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, joris__trouche, and 430,230 others
charles_leclerc happy summer break 😁
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username ummm???
username that last photo im gonna throw up i never want him to post a photo dump again
username what about OUR family charles? ME, your wife? OUR imaginary kids?
joris__trouche i hope you paid your photographer
charles_leclerc she said it was a free trial
username there's literally no way charles 'i am stupid' leclerc knows how to soft launch this has to be a joke
username i hope this brings ferrari such awful luck... no man who soft launches like this deserves happiness
charles_leclerc
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liked by arthur_leclerc, yourusername, landonorris, and 320,540 others
charles_leclerc new song releasing at midnight tonight on all platforms, we hope you'll like it 🎶
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username i cant wait to be depressed for the rest of the week thank u charles
username im sorry... WE? who is WE?
username omg... is this a piano duet... between charles and his girlfriend???
joris__trouche i hope you're sharing the royalties
charles_leclerc nosy man
username the fact he's giving us literal crumbs like we have NOTHING to go off of
username he's just smarter than the rest of us, not letting us creep his girl
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, mickschumacher, yourusername, and 650,392 others
charles_leclerc what an incredible weekend in singapore. honoured to have had all the people i love with me this weekend for this win. i can never do this without you.
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username do u think he put 'i can never do this without you' in a whole different sentence because it's directed at HER
username idk if i should call u delulu or smart bc 👀
username i am so fed up with this soft launch, stop being a coward and show her to us!!!
username comments like these are prolly why he's only soft launching... he doesn't want crazy fans to pull what they did with lando and luisa lol
pierregasly je suppose que ton porte-bonheur fait son travail 👀
charles_leclerc 🥰😁
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc an extra special christmas, with an extra special person. joyeux noël to you all, may santa spoil you as much as he has spoiled me 🎅🏻
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pierregasly joyeux noël from kika and i, looking forward to spending time with the both of you in the new year 🥂
joris__trouche impressive that this soft launch is still going, only ever seen you this dedicated about cars
username not joris saying exactly what we all have been thinking
username i cant believe no one has found her on anything
username charles hasn't given us anything to go off of, its like he's trying to make it difficult to find her
username omg y'all it HAS to be yourusername her story is them literally kissing!!!! im gonna scream!!!!!!
username she's followed by half the grid!!! kika has liked all her post over the last 2 YEARS omg
yourusername has posted a story
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charles_leclerc honoured to have been the one to kiss you for the last three christmases, hoping for hundreds more
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername, arthur_leclerc, and 1,235,029 others
charles_leclerc apparently i forgot to introduce the world to my beautiful wife? joyeux anniversaire mon amour 💗
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username your WHAT
username his WIFE?!
username there is no way mr 'i am stupid' has hidden a whole WIFE and a whole MARRIAGE from us
pierregasly merde i am so excited to finally post the photos from your wedding
yourusername honoured to have spent the last year as mrs. charles leclerc, hoping for so many more
charles_leclerc hoping for forever
username MRS CHARLES LECLERC PLS IM KSFJHK
username i am screaming and throwing up, not even crying i cant even be heartbroken????
landonorris emotionally im not okay
yourusername you were at the wedding??? landonorris i love love, shut up.
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if you've already seen this i apologize lol, i think there was some formatting issues with the prev post which resulted in it not showing up in the tags :( so total apologies for that! i hope you enjoy!! (i dont want to retag everyone and be annoying as well) if you'd like to be added to my tag list please feel free to reach out
also my requests are open if you're interested!
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cheesit-notes · 9 months
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Simon Riley + Hand Kisses
tags: kissing obviously, ptsd for simon basically, gn!reader, overthinking simon, simon getting violent at one point, a/n: sorry i was gone for a week! i want to say i worked on stuff but ive been busy with things and this was the only thing i did. im not all that happy with the time to result ratio of this tbh but i love the idea of Simonand hand kisses so enjoy!
Ghost who cannot stand any and all kinds of intimate touches. he doesn’t like intimate touches. no, actually, he loathes those touches. it reminds him of a time he’d really rather forget. there’s no way to really kiss him without having to slowly practice. underneath the mask, he’s nothing more than the emotionally scarred, vulnerable Simon Riley who went through far too much for any human.
the first time both of you technically kissed, you had asked if you could kiss him, he said yes because you looked like you wanted it so badly. the two of you stood awkwardly in his barracks. he’s wondering if he should’ve changed clothes earlier, he just got back and was still in his uniform, probably smelled fowl, but you didn’t say a word. ah, he thought he could handle it. he really did. but to kiss was a lot easier said than done. and he’ll never fully forgive himself for shoving you away slamming you against the wall, and he was choking you. he didn’t actually hit you, you tell him that everyday, but the fact he fully intended to hit you for the moment scared him. plagued with the thought that he truly was no different from his father; he could barely look at you for the weeks following that, much less talk to you. no, he refused to do so much as to stand near you; petrified he wouldn’t snap out of it in time, terrified he’d hurt you.
months later, he asked if it’s alright to try again. the kissing thing, you know? it was months after the previous attempt, you and Simon had already reconciled, as much as possible anyways, so the question left you a little confused. you were happy to, but only if he was really ready. and he said he was, he swore it. although.. looking at you, thinking back about the previous attempt, made him anxious. but he already said he would. so he should? he should stick to his words, right? youd probably think hes a coward. god, a man shouldnt be a coward. and he cant be a coward. and all these thoughts ran through his mind. he doesnt realize he’s zoned out and that you’re staring at him with a concerned look on your face. its not until you decide to speak does he snap back.
“are you sure you want to do this?”
he’s not even sure what to respond. what did he want?  he’s only really thought about what you wanted. it’s not like his wants really mattered in his eyes.
“you know, we don’t have to do this. we can still have a perfectly fine relationship without–”
“no! absolutely, no, we.. we have to kiss.”
he insisted, almost yelling like he’s afraid he wouldn’t be heard. and that you’d leave him because you’d think he couldn’t kiss you, because he couldn't give you of a normal relationship. and you deserved it. you deserved a normal relationship with someone who could give you what you wanted. and god, he wishes he were normal.
anyone could tell he was agitated. honestly, it isn’t easy for you. you could tell he wouldn’t handle it well if you kissed him directly. but if you didn’t then he’d isolate himself, thoughts spiralling like a roller coaster in his mind, and you couldn’t be sure when or where the ride ended. so, grab his hands, hold them in yours, and plant a gentle kiss on each. you hold his hands, looking into his eyes, and for what felt like hours, the two of you stayed put like that. until Simon told you to leave.
it caught you off guard, you’re a little taken back. but respecting his wishes, you leave the room. not even a minute after you leave, Simon slumps against the wall, he can’t stop the hot, burning tears from falling. maybe it was how soft your lips felt against his caloused hands or how careful you were with him, how you knew that he likely wouldn’t react well to either choice and yet you made the perfect one.
Simon Riley who sometimes holds your hand, silently hoping you’d kiss his hand again. he likes it when you give each knuckle a peck. if you bent down on one knee, you’d look like a knight kissing the princess’ hand, and Johnny would say this whenever he saw the chance. Simon Riley who still isn’t ready to kiss you directly, but he’s slowly working on it. Simon Riley who will probably learn to like different types of kisses, but right now, he's smitten over you and your hand kisses that make him feel oh so loved.
next time he holds your hand, give him a kiss, will you?
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jazz-miester · 1 year
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Yandere Bayverse!Optimus x Decepticon Mech reader smut?
Also, I wanted to say that I LOVE your works! Especially that one Optimus x reader one.. it has me in a chokehold. Anyways, feel free to ignore!
Hung Over You
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Pairing: Bayverse Optimus x reader
Reader type: Decepticon Mech
Song: Lady Lie- Rainbow kitten surprise
Warnings: I'm gonna put Dubious Consent here as a warning. I. Honestly i'd rather be safe than sorry yall. And please please for all that is holy. Get absolute consent from your partners before doing anything. If the yes isn't given whole heartedly and said with everything the person has to offer. Don't do it. It's not worth it.
An: Aww you're too sweet! I'm glad that you like my stuff so much! Hope that this is what you wanted lol. I'm not to familiar with the yandere thing so im lowkey just winging it. Also putting this under a read more because this came out to be 4186 words long lol.
Tags: @rawmeknockout hope you don't mind me tagging you in this lol.
You have caught his optic. Which honestly is the most dangerous thing you have ever had happen to you. There has been. Rumours that have spread from out of the Autobot ranks. But they had been rumours. Right?
Primes don't do that. They. They don't.
Not once did you truly worry though. When would you ever see him? You were one of the few medics that the Decepticon army had left. Most others had defected to the Autobots.
Really. It made sense. They left so they could work in a slightly safer environment where you were less likely to be offed by your patients. Still, even with how long you've been with the Decepticons you find yourself wondering why. Why have you stayed for so long despite the Decepticons going so far out of the ballpark of what they once stood for.
It was becoming less and less often you would find that reason to stay. And at this point you were only finding it in the older mechs. Those who were forced into their casts by the functionists all because they transformed into something other than a silly little microscope.
They were the ones that still fight so they would no longer have to risk their lives on a job that they higher nobles where to afraid to do. They stuck with the original Decepticon ideals so that their future younglings wouldn't have to live the harsh and horrid lives they did.
They are the reason you kept going. Kept doing what you did. They were he reason you still had a flicker of hope for the Decepticons. That Megatron was truly fighting for your peace. That he would lead Cybertronian kind into a new era. One of peace and prosperity in the way they never had before. A life where your frame didn't dictate how and who you would be.
You lost that little ember of hope on a Decepticon battlefield. Every attempt you made to help the others. To heal, to mend. All of it in vain when the bombs began to rain from above.
Again and again you went out dragging in bots and cons alike to some semblance of safety as the bombs screamed in the sky. You were forced to quit when an Autobot. And old and ancient mech stopped you and pulled you into the shelter. It was his rust colored paint that filled your vision as he gave you some sense of solace.
It was with him you grieved the loss of any hope you had left.
All of this. The wrought and ruin of his own troops, supplies, territory. All of it destroyed for a blind assault on the chance he could kill his enemy.
All of it because Megatron was to much of a coward to face Optimus Prime himself.
You did all you could. Tending to the injured. Helping even the Autobots. Or at least all that would allow you to.
It felt like a life cycle for the bombs to quit falling. Longer still for the metal of Cybertron to settle. And longer for the air to become ventable once again.
You did what you could to lead the injured up and out.
A lot of Decepticons turned their back on the cause after that. Most choosing the neutral path. Not willing to chance facing their brothers and sisters. Friends. Lovers.
Some, like you, pledged yourself to the Autobot cause.
It was on that battlefield that you saw him for the first time.
Optimus Prime.
There was a million and one warning bells going off in your helm the closer he came.
"Are you here to fight, or to stay?" His voice rumbled like distant thunder just before a storm of acid rain. This was the same question he had asked every con before you.
"Stay, I suppose." You spoke after a moment. You had long since torn away the Decepticon insignia. You could still feel the distant ache in your sparkchamber.
A botched job for what should have been the greatest moment in your lifecycle.
It meant nothing now.
"I have heard you helped my troops mech. Is this true?" Blue optics looked you up and down then stopped on your own. For the briefest moment you wondered if he could see you. Truly see you. As if the matrix gave him some supernatural ability to pick apart your very spark.
Cybertronians used to worship Primes.
"I did." You answered. "And I will continue to do so. If you allow. Optimus Prime." A grin split his lips when you were done speaking.
"If you are willing then yes.." He trailed off.
"Y/n sir." The Prime tilted his helm. Mouthed your name.
"Y/n." Something about the way he spoke it sent your spark pounding. Your takes turning.
Megatron sounded like that once.
Just before everything went to slag in a hand basket.
.
.
.
That wasn't the last time you saw the Autobot leader. And it certainly wouldn't be the last.
"Y/n! Mech! Pay attention slaggit!" Ratchet's voice was right in your audio receptor. His servos moved with more efficiently than you have ever seen in any mech or femme. It was supernatural, almost, to watch.
The two of you were elbow deep in a mech. The damned frontliner decided to play hero.
You could have sworn you had seen Optimus. There in a window that the assistant has forgotten to close.
.
.
.
"He's damned good. For a con." Ratchet would both praise and poke at you at the same time. "I'm glad he's on our side though."
You were proud with where you were at the moment. You had built a reputation for yourself. Worked in a place that made your skills worth something. You worked with bots that wouldn't have your helm for just venting wrong near them.
You caught a snippets of Ratchets and Ironhides conversation from where you were organizing field kits. Restocking and filing inventory on this had fallen to you after a while.
Well. You were until Optimus came spilling in. Energon flowed freely onto the floor where it really shouldn't have been.
Two mechs carried him in. You were quick to clear a med berth off. Already you were in the process of cleaning when Ratchet began barking orders
Time to show Ironhide those skills Ratchet was bragging about.
.
.
.
Sometime later and what seemed like an obscene amount of energon, Optimus was deemed stable. Currently he was sleeping off the anesthetics.
"Will you keep an optic on him and tell me when he wakes kid?" You looked up from the data pad you were typing on when Ratchet spoke. "I have some reports I need to finish and I need to plan some care for when he wakes up." You waved a servo.
"I've got it Ratchet. Go do what you need to." With a heavy sigh he left. Muttering about Primes being stupid and self sacrificing for no good Primus damned reason.
You went back to restocking field kits. You needed something to do with your servos while you waited for him to wake up.
Which wasn't much longer after you finished. The Prime woke with a start. Bolting upright as he took in where he was. Some part of his processer still stuck out there on the feild.
It was only after he swing his legs over the side of the berth did you walk towards him.
"Prime. You need to stay laying down. If you get up now you could re open the welds me and Ratchet placed." Your voice was low. Soothing. The same voice you have used a thousand times over for Decepticon coming out of general anesthetics. At least this time you were greeted with a look rather that blaster fire.
Really. Megatron should have implemented some sort of psychiatric treatment for his troop.
Optimus said nothing as you walked up to him. Slowly you placed one servo on his shoulder. "I need to check on the welds before I go and get Ratchet. Are you ok with that or do you want me to get him to do it?" You always gave them the option. Some still didn't trust you. Former Decepticon and all.
"You may." The Prime leaned back slightly. His legs spreading further apart as he balanced himself. You said nothing other than giving him a nod before going to check the welds across his abdomen.
The welds looked ok. And they were still holding up despite the fact he decided to spring up off the berth. You took the opportunity to glance at the ones on his arms. Then checking the cabling at his neck that had become undone.
You froze for a moment when he leant forward. Slumping as if suddenly overcome by fatigue. Out of reflex you caught him by the shoulers. Bracing him as he fell forward. Optimus's helm fell on your shoulder. His servo brushing against your hip and thigh.
"Slaggit! Prime are you ok?" You pushed back on him. Righting the blue colored Prime. "Are you dizzy? Any pains that we were not aware of?" You looked over his face plates. Looking for the drain of nanites and fuzzy unfocused optics.
Nothing.
"I am fine. Just." He paused. "Apologies, Y/n. I did not mean to cause concern." There. Again. That same look he gave you on the battlefield sometime ago.
"Are you sure? It is no issue. I can go get Ratchet. He wanted me to get him after you woke anyways." A slight flicker on his face plates. A sort of, annoyance? Then.
"Get him if you must. Ratchet is my CMO for a reason." It wasn't until you pulled away did you realize Optimus's servo had been on your waist that entire time. Only did you know when you pulled away and his digits grazed along the dark grey plating.
.
.
.
You felt like you were going insane. Someone was leaving you gifts. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact it was inside your habsuit on your berth.
They were the things you liked. Sweetened energon candies. A very specific polish you thought you would never find again. There was even a praxian crystal rose at one point. Who would give that away to a former Con you would never know. After the fall of Praxus they had become scarce.
You saw Optimus a few times after he had been discharged from the med bay. He came a few times afterwards to keep the welds in check and to make sure the new cabling in his throat had took.
You had been the one to check on the welds after a while. And to make sure the Prime had proper movement in his left arm. The one that you were now currently holding and moving to ensure fluid movement in the shoulder joint.
There was that look again. Like he was staring into your very soul. You felt that if you bared your spark chamber you would feel less exposed.
"And this? Any pain, aches?" The Prime rumbled out a laugh. Not once had he looked away from you.
"No. Truly, it is fine. You've done a very good job." You could feel your faceplates warm. Not use to any type of praise.
"It was hardly all me. Ratchet did the bulk of it." Optimus humed. Pulling his arm away. His digits brushed against your chassis before they settled in his lap. He flexed his palms and you couldn't help but to look.
Only to sputter a cough before he looked up. Almost getting caught ogling the Primes thighs.
"Still. You have done good. I am grateful to have such a skilled mech on our side. Your skills are valued here, y/n." He spoke your name with an intensity.
The two of you locked optics for a moment. The Prime almost drawing you in. He servo rose and hovered next to yours. You swore he almost would have taken it in his if it weren't for Ratchet calling him to his office.
The look that covered his facelates looked almost murderous. You had stepped back when he did that. And the look had fallen almost as quickly as it had came. Filled with a different, almost fearful look at your reaction.
The Prime rose and left. Giving you one last look before going to meet Ratchet. When you glanced back down to the berth you felt you tanks turned.
There, in the center of the berth, was a singular Praxian rose. The one that twined the other currently beneath your berth.
.
.
.
You said nothing about it to anyone. Instead quickly taking it and placing it within your subspace before Ratchet or any of the other medics or assistants could notice.
When Optimus left he had caught your optic then glanced at the berth the rose had been on. When he noticed it was gone and how quickly you had looked away. He smiled.
That night you had went to your habsuit shaken. Placing the rose with the other things you had been given.
Was. Was Optimus the one doing this? It would make sense seeing as how he would be one of the few with the proper codes to get into your habsuit.
But why? Why you? And was it really you?
You didn't fall into recharge that night. And you were in a daze for the next day cycle. Ratchet having reprimanded you more than once for your forgetfulness.
You nearly dropped the glass vials holding nanites when you saw him in the window looking into the supply closet. Optimus had studied you briefly before leaving.
You didn't move for many klicks. Servos shaking as you tried to calm yourself.
The next few days went the same. Catching Optimus in the corner of your optics every time you turned. It made you jumpy. Skittish. You began to pull away from the bots you had made friends with. Even to Ratchet who seemed to be concerned. But he said nothing. Did nothing other than lay his servo on your shoulder and give you the most sympathetic look you had ever seen.
.
.
.
"Y/n. Prime needs you in his office." You glanced up dumbly to the femme that had called your name. You had been in the rec room watching some old holo vids Toptwist had put on. A chorus of oohs had filled the room. Most of the bots acting like you had just been called to the headmaster's office in the academy.
Instead you swallowed thickly and nodded your helm at the femme.
You're frame is shaking the entire walk down the hall. Your mind was racing.
Did you do something wrong? If so then what? As far as you knew you were doing everything Ratchet needed you to. You didn't cause any problems with the others. No matter how much you wanted to throttle some of them when they wouldn't stop fragging you over just because you used to be a Con.
Is that why? Did some mech of femme complain about you being a former Decepticon?
You didn't want to lose what you had here. To much. It. You had finally found a reason to keep fighting. The Autobots they held up the ideals that the Decepticons used to have.
You don't think you would be able to quit this. Not without some consequence on your mental health. You needed this.
.
You stopped before the door to Optimus Primes office. You didn't know if you should com him or knock on the door. In the end you chose the latter. Fisted servo hovering before the engraved metal door for a klick before you knocked.
Ice flooded your frame. Something. Something spoke to you about this being a bad idea. That you should turn. Run.
Instead you ignored that millennia forged instinct.
"Enter." Optimus's voice sounded from the other side of the door after you knocked. The door sliding open and closing behind you quickly when you stepped inside.
His office was quaint. Small. There were odds and ends decorating shelves. A few organic plants here and there that looked well taken care of. It was such a rare sight to see. The war on Cybertron and rendered all organic life null. Unable to grow in such an hostile enviroment.
There were data pads from floor to roof on one wall. Suddenly you remember that the great Prime was just once a simple archivist in Iacon.
"There's no need to stand near the door, dear Y/n. I promise. You are not in any trouble here." Your helm snaps from the shelves of data pads and towards the Prime sitting at his desk. It was cluttered with data pads and reports. A few trinkets here and there. There was even a floating holo screen of what you assumed was him and a few other bots in one corner.
"I was told you needed me sir?" You strode to the center of the room. Just before the Primes desk. He smiled and shook his helm before rising from his seat.
"Please. There is no need for formalities here. I am just Optimus. " The Prime rounded the side of his desk before leaning against the side of it. Crossing his arms over his chassis.
You swallowed thickly. Finding yourself falling into a parade rest. "I was told you needed me, Optimus?" You repeated the question with his name instead. He gave a small laugh when he looked over at you.
"I meant it when I said there was no need for formalities Y/n. Please." Optimus pushed himself away from the desk as you made an attempt to stand comfortably. It was a little awkward.
Optimus stopped before you by less that a foot. You had to raise you helm to look him in the optics. You were not exactly a small mech but you reached just below the Primes chin.
"But yes. I did want you down here. I wanted to discuss something with you." His servo rose. The palm of his servo hovering just next to your helm before settling firmly on your shoulder. You couldn't help but look to that servo. Then to him as he began talking once again. "I have heard you've done good work here. And i'm proud of the fact that you are." The servo fell then digits hooked just below your chin.
Your spark began pounding in your chest. "I expect you have met my gifts well?" You optics widden and you pull away from those digits.
"That was you?" Your voice rose slightly at the end. At least that was a conformation. Whether or not it set you at ease was debatable to say the least.
"Of course. I'm sorry I couldn't deliver them in person though. I didn't need the others thinking I was playing favorites." His optics looked your faceplates over. His glossa darted out to wet his lips. "I find you to be the most brilliant mech I have had the honour to have in my troops yet. Y/n I have been hung over you since the moment I saw you." His servos cup either side of your helm. The size of them almost engulfing you.
"There is something addicting about you. I have yet to lay my servo on it. But. I wish to have you, if you will." His thumb brushed along your bottom lip. His optics following the movement of his thumb as he did this. "Of course we will have to keep this secret for a while. But I do not mind." His voice was low. Almost rattling in your chassis from how close he was now.
Chassis to chassis. Touching. So close. If the two of you were to slide the metal away. Surely your sparks would touch. The gesture here. Now. It was intimate.
Suffocating.
"Sir we can't. Its." Optimus's face darkened.
"Optimus. Please. Call me Optimus." His servos fell and once reached down to grab yours. He brought it up to his lips and layed a kiss on your scarred knuckles. His optics were on you the entire time. Blown wide with. Attraction? Lust? "And we can. The others will learn to deal with it."
Something pleasurable flooded your field when his wrapped over yours. Your processer fogged and you didn't know what to do. "Optimus I." You stopped when that pleasure flooded over you again. You legs shook and before you knew it you were moving. Your legs hit the desk and one moment you were standing. The next you were sitting. Optimus's servos wrapped around your thighs as he lifted yo up and onto it.
For a moment the fog lifted and you looked up to see a loopy grin on the Primes faceplates.
"Oh you look stunning just like that. I wonder if I could make you make that face again." He was between your legs. His servo traveled from your thigh and over your hip. It sprawled out over your stomach plating and up your chassis. His digits dipped in seems and pulled at wires that had a heat pooling below.
You whimper when his lips finally connecting with yours. Shivers running down your frame as he moves fervently. His servos cradle your helm as he does this. Drawing you in close. You servos find his wrists. You didn't know if you wanted to pull him away or hold him there so he would keep going.
He did leave you those gifts. It. It makes sense that he wouldn't do it in person. Right?
Right?
The two of you pull away with heated breaths. A string of fluid following your lips before breaking apart.
Your faceplates felt hot. Your vents where going rapidly. Trying to cool your heated frame.
Optimus lent in again and again. Laying kiss after kiss until he found your neck. Nibbling and sucking along the cabling there. You shiver and shook at the assault. Your frame reacting pleasantly to what he was doing.
"Such sweet sounds you are making. I wonder if you will sing the same while on my spike." His hips rolled as he said this. His servo landed on top of your interface array. "Please? My Y/n please?" Optimus spoke breathlessly. His helm pressed to yours. Your nose bumping against his as he moved to press another kiss to your lips. "For me? Please?"
And you did. Your array springing open and revealing your spike and valve to the room.
"The. The door. Is it locked?" You asked.
"Mmm? Yes." Optimus told you. His digits fluttering over your valve. A whimper left your lips as he teased you. Digits skimming over your valve. Your aching node to tease your weeping spike. "Look at you. Is all this for me?" He pressed a kiss to your chin.
"Yeah." You spoke. "Yeah. Just for you." A low moan left you when he sunk his digits within you. Digits curling as he pumped them in and out of you. He moved slowly. Gathering the fluid that left you and spreading his digits apart to slowly ease you into taking his spike.
He didn't want to hurt you after all. Not after waiting for so long. And not with you being so nice and willing.
You almost cried when those cleaver digits left you. Only for you to give a shudder when he put those same digits in his mouth. Glossa working around and between his digits tasting everything you had to offer.
"You taste sweeter than I thought you would be Y/n." He humed as his own interface array pulled away. He gave is own spike a few languid strokes before placing it between your shaking legs. "Relax. I will not hurt you." The tip of his spike pressed into you. "Relax my y/n." He guided himself within you. Moving slowly. He briefly pulled back at one point before sliding forward.
Optimus paused when he was fully seated within you. Giving his hips a few experimental rolls as he watched you come completely undone beneath him.
He was absolutely enthralled with the way you threw your helm back when he began to move. He happily complied with your pleas of more. Harder. Just like that.
You were being so good. So kind after all. How was he not to do what you asked when you were doing such a good job. He even told you as much.
"Look at you. Being such a good mech for me. You are taking me so well my y/n." His hips stuttered when he felt you squeeze around him from the praise. "You are taking my spike so good. You pretty valve feels so nice. So good. Gripping my spike so." He paused when he felt pleasure rack through him when you squeezed him once again.
Optimus was sure to note this in the back of his helm for future fragging sessions.
He could feel his overload coming and coming quickly. And if the way your were keening and moaning. Chanting his name so sweetly. Well, he knew yours was close as well.
Optimus rolled his field over yours and watched as you threw your helm back. Static spitting out of your vocalizer as you overloaded and over loaded hard. Your frame falling pliant under his servos.
Optimus found his soon after you. Pulling you close and leaning on your body.
He was sure to bring you into his habsuit. Cleaning your dirtied frame. Optimus took in the welled energon on your neck cabling. The slight paint transfer around your thighs from your coupling.
He'd be damned if he was letting you leave anytime soon.
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autisticlancemcclain · 8 months
Text
fic rec friday 38
hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.
only the dead have seen the end of war by @kartoffxl [MCD]
Lance must have seen something in Keith’s face, because his expression crumpled in anguish. “You… You love me back.” He put his head in his hands. “Oh my god. You loved me. You love me. This—This is so fucked up.” “Lance, I—” “Tell me I’m wrong.” There were tears in his eyes. “Tell me we didn’t just waste all those years being cowards.” Keith clenched his fists at his sides, still reeling from the whiplash of what he had just heard earlier. This can’t be happening. “Say it!” Lance pressed. “Say you don’t love me.” Please, his eyes begged. Keith and Lance finally figure out that they’re absolutely, undeniably, embarrassingly in love with each other, just not exactly in the best of circumstances.
okay so. this is. technically. one of the meaner fics im reccing. HOWEVER. it is gaspingly unbelievably beautifully and painfully written. even the summary kills me -- say you dont love me. im begging you. im begging you to lie to me right now. as we lay dying im begging you to have mercy on me and let me believe i didnt have a chance for beauty with you. im begging you to let me die with one regret instead of millions. please. please dont let me die being loved by you. LIKE WHAT
2. Toast to Freedom by @icypantherwrites
Keith is used to more than his fair share of dark looks. What he’s not used to is seeing those looks directed at Lance for no reason that he can determine and it’s making something uneasy settle in his stomach and the heavy press of the mantle of leader weigh even heavier as he should be doing something about it but he doesn’t know what. But causing a scene will upset the alliance they need and so Keith chooses to wait it out, to address it after the feast. He should never have waited.
will never ever in my life get over to 'i drank your poison because no suffering would be worse than watching it on you' not ever. it is always so so everything. and NO ONE does it like icy panther
3. Disjointed Soul by @icypantherwrites
Lance falls victim to a Soul Leecher, a dark spirit that is drawn to disjointed souls to steal them for itself. The Paladins must go into Lance's very soul to save him, uncovering truths about themselves and Lance in the process. Time is of the essence before Lance is lost forever. Good thing they have such helpful, adorable soul guides.
"Hi there baby Lance," Hunk greeted. "Ohwah," Lance burbled back. "¡Ohwah!" "Ohwah?" Pidge repeated. "I think he's saying "hola,'" Hunk grinned. "You know, "hello" in Spanish. Hola, baby Lance." "¡Ohwah! ¡Ohwah!"
this is one of THEEEE original insecure lance fics fr like it was the BLUEPRINT. 2018 there wasnt a langst loving soul who hadnt read this at least twice. its not too long for my dears w shoddy attention spans but its long enough to have quite a bit of substance!! team as family with communication and lance at the centre of it. what more do u want
4. Sleep Well, My Son by @icypantherwrites
A tiny accident becomes literal when Lance is turned into a child with no recollection from his older self. Coran has hopes the effects will be relatively short-term, but in the meantime he has a scared child that needs both reassurance and care. And while Coran might not have had the chance to be a father… he feels like one now.
look i love a good de aged lance fic and obviously when i was making these bookmarks i was scrolling my way thru the tag. and this one is especially amazing bc it is coran centred! this is a coran fic! this is a fic about quiet grief in the life you never got to live and acceptance for the life you have now and love for the people life has brought you!! it is about coran finding family through people who so desperately need it!! it is everything!!
5. Amigos by @icypantherwrites
A dangerous mission becomes even moreso when Lance is turned into a child with no recollection of his older self in the middle of it. Keith has never been good with kids and that certainly isn’t going to change now. Somehow though he’s got to convince Lance — who doesn’t speak a word of English and is staring at Keith with too wide, too scared of eyes — to come with him, get them both out of the Galran base now crawling with sentries alive, and then, assuming they get that far, figure out how to change Lance back.
shut up about the repeated author shut up about the same trope shut up about the. okay. i am a simple creature. i am annoying. i like to sit on my little armchair and open my little phone and read the same thing a million times. there is a Way to read fic and that way is to click on and scroll through a tag until you find a fic you like then scroll through that author and then go back to the tag and rinse and repeat. besides this fic is amazing okay i love klance but we rarely get platonic klance and its GOOD okay
that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!
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noellefan101 · 5 months
Note
Helloo!!
I would to send in a request, could you do a soft/fluff day with Mister Neuvillette? With a Female Raeder as well please :)
If your uncomfortable with this request you are welcome to ignore it, thank you very much! :3
(Sending headpats!)
(thank u for the headpats!)
Characters: Neuvillette x Female reader
Summary: a sweet day off, with Neuvi
[edit: i forgot to tag u so here, @ayoharuko]
i only use they/them pronounce for the melusines bc they are in a group(and im a coward)
Note: i tired to finish this as quickly as possible, bc i havent really written anything for neuvi(other than my kissing them series). but i really liked writing this, though it was a little hard to come up with something(my brain is becoming mush), love you
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It was really sunny when you woke up, the light shining through the half-open curtains, giving your skin a beautiful glow as well. you sat up in your bed, looking around tiredly. and you were surprised to see Neuvillette still in bed, since he would normally be out of the house by now. but it's not like you were complaining, especially not on his day off. so you quietly snuck out of bed to not wake him, quickly put on a decent outfit and started making breakfast for him.
He eventually did wake up, despite you trying to be quiet, and walked around the house to find you since you weren´t in bed.
He found you in the kitchen, happily dancing around as you made breakfast for you both. the sight made his heart beat in so many ways he couldn´t understand, but he felt warm whenever it happened, so he didn´t give it much thought. although Sigewinne once told him its a sign that he loves you, and so she had to explain to him how that works(she wanted to give up inside a little(poor Sigewinne)).
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"Neuvi? Are you ok? you´ve been staring at me for a while now y'know"
"..."
"..."
He didn´t hear you, too lost in your beauty to comprehend that you were talking to him. you were a little annoyed at being ignored, but quickly brushed it off and tried calling him again, this time with a hand on his cheek,
"Neuvillette love, you there?"
He snapped out of his line of thought the second you touched his cheek, now looking into your eyes. placing his own hand over yours.
"Sorry darling, i was just a little too lost in your beauty for a moment. was there anything you needed?"
You looked into his eyes, thinking for a bit, was there anything you needed right now, you guessed he could help you get the flour from the top capinet.
"yes actually, could you be so kind as to hand me the flour, its for the cake i said i wanted to bake"
You looked at him with the pretties eyes you could manage.
"Sure lovely, I´ll get you anything you need"
You removed your hand from his face and walked over to the bowl of sugar and eggs, to mix them together, before the dry ingredients were put in.
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You had been baking all morning, what had Neuvillette been doing you ask, well... you actually don't know. either he was in the kitchen helping(looking at) you or he was out of your line of sight(prob with a melusine).
But now you´re kind of missing his presence, and you were done with most of the pastries you wanted him and the melusines to try(your excuse to see him being cute with them).
So you of course wanted to find him.
But you still needed time to set up what you had planned for his day off, and you asked some melusines to help you carry the lighter things, like a blanket or spoons(not knives or forks, they could hurt themselves). and when they then offered to get him for you, you protested, but they just continued on with "you should relax too you´know, not just him. now sit down and we´ll get him over here." so you obliged.
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The main reason you had decided that today would be a great time to have a picnic out on a field of flowers, was because it didn´t seem like there were going to be many, if any, clouds today, so it would be perfect for a picnic(hence why you spent your morning in the kitchen).
When they (totally not forcefully) dragged him over to your prepared date, they could see the visible change it his eyes (though it was already softer than normal, bc melusines) when he looked at you sitting among the flowers. he eventually sat down beside you, kissing your cheek softly and thanking you for doing this just for him.
Eventually, the melusines that helped you set up and stuff left (smiling sweetly at their monsuir [i think i spelled it wrong, im sry] Neuvillette´s sweet interaction with you).
The both of you didn´t even notice and you just continued on with your picnic. you offered him a piece of the cake you baked in the morning, and he happily took it, enjoying the taste of your baking.
(as he should)
He had also looked at you with heart in his eyes(more than he normally did) as you ate your piece of cake, he couldn´t help himself you were too beautiful not to look at too long. It´s not the first time he has looked(stared) at you today either, and it certainly won´t be the last time today. Safe to say he liked having this day with you, a day containing only you (and the occasional Melusine), instead of all the paperwork being the only thing he normally looks at all-day.
He liked anything you did together, it doesn´t matter if it was his or your idea, neither if he liked the thing or not, the thing that mattered was that you wanted to, that you were there with him, and he loves you even more for that.
He loves you more than a diver loves the sea, more than a florist loves flowers, more than anything.
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Thank u for reading, hope its ok(ik its late asf), luv ya-Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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uldahstreetrat · 26 days
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡
okay well I got a bunch of these today too so we'll do a second round of them aha - this time I was also sent/tagged in this by @communitycatboy, @captainqster, @avaritia-ffxiv, @amalthea-felsblood, and @wpip-raham!
story telling! which for me includes extensive world building, writing, and drawing - I have a google doc of world building notes so long that it lags, dont ever let it be said that I dont think way too much about things that dont matter
stamps! this is a much more recent one, but I have started stamp collecting and have a very lovely binder for it and I'm thrilled about it
my blog here on tumblr also makes me very happy because it's a great social outlet for me and I genuinely just love love love getting to see and talk to people about their ocs and blorbos, the community here is great and im so glad to have found my little corner in it all
elden ring, though I have played little of it so far because im a huge coward but it is very fun! it took me two hours to figure out how to level up but hey i havent died yet
I also just fuckin love bugs aha much to my husband's annoyance cause he fucking hates them but at least we can compromise with my butterflies lmao I actually have a necklace that's a real butterfly wing pressed and soldered between two sheets of glass, it was a gift from my sister a couple years ago and I wear it all the time <3
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