#and his issues of self worth

[forgotten-rain]

more people need to talk about how

1. Gale thinks the world is better off without him in it.

He thinks the mistake he made was so monumental that it's not even worth him being alive anymore. He thinks that if he does as Mystra asks and blows himself up to kill the elder brain, then at least his folly would amount to something. He's lived for a year in darkness and isolation and convinced himself that the only way to move forward is by somehow regaining his goddess's favour, and if he can't do that then he's not worth the air he breathes. He wants so desperately to matter, to mean something, that he's willing to throw his whole life away to garner even a fraction of the love Mystra used to bestow upon him. He's a brilliant man, an incredible wizard, kind-hearted, and trying so damn hard to do the right thing, but somehow he fails to see all those qualities and puts his worth solely on a single mistake he made that he made out of love. Out of ambition and out of desire, but ultimately out of love. And now, after spending months in self-imposed isolation, the only future he sees for this world is one where he's not in it. And,

2. That he doesn't think he's worthy of Tav. He doesn't believe that anyone can love him as he is, no matter how often Tav tries to convince him otherwise. If a literal god deemed him unworthy, then who is he to claim he isn't? He finds the ability to love again with Tav, starts the slow and excruciating journey of healing together with them, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he still believes he's not good enough. He wants to be more. He wants to be everything that Tav wants him to be. He wants to be everything Tav needs him to be. He wants to prove to them that he can be a good fighter, a good lover, a good friend. That's why he asks again and again if they wouldn't love him better if he were a god. If he was perfect - truly perfect. If he could command armies and fell kingdoms, if he could give them everything they could ever dream of. Wouldn't Tav want that? Why would they want his battered, broken, mortal self when they could have a perfected version of him? What beauty is there in failure, in making mistakes, in being flawed? Even when Tav insists that they love him for who he is, not for the power he would wield, he struggles to accept it. He trusts that they're telling the truth, but he's been a wizard of renown for so long that he doesn't quite know how to be a regular man any more. His whole notion of worth has been tied so tightly with power and control for so long that he's forgotten what it is like to be loved simply for being who he is. Not the Wizard of Waterdeep. Not Mystra's Chosen. But a man, wandering in the dark like everyone else, afraid, but so full of hope.

#i have Thoughts #and a lot of them are about my husband #gale dekarios #and his issues of self worth #larian wheres the option to give him a big squeezy hug #he offers so much #and asks for so little in return #baby i love you #you deserve all the planes #also hot take but i dont hate mystra #im putting this in the tags because im a coward #she sucks but shes a god #like #theyre all fickle #its kind of a god thing #and at least she had reason to be angry #not reason enough to give my man depression #she could have handled it better #but she was threatened #and i guess felt betrayed by the man she loved #like opening up an old wound #anyway gale is baby girl and i unironically want to have his children #ive never felt the mother instinct before #but gods damn it i will mother his children #and give him a happy blissful domestic life #where he can malewife to his hearts content #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale bg3 #gale of waterdeep

[bizarrelittlemew]

calling it right now that season 3 starts like this

#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all #there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season #they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else #and makes it worth working on their problems together #the problems are still very much there #both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up #ed doesn't know about stede's trauma #they haven't talked through anything #and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well #and those are just some of the internal issues #then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet #because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one #the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately #again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire) #it's not a forever goodbye #ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️ #hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!! #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd #our flag means death

[saltpepperbeard]

gnawing on my arm because i think there's something to be said about how stede not only dreams about himself with a beard, but ed with his full beard back too. like, the dream seems to be riddled with imagery that he thinks ed would want.

and i say this especially because of how stede reacted when ed had to shave his beard. he freaked out on his behalf. he shrieked in horror whereas ed was entirely unbothered. he feared he had ruined him, had dragged him down to some despicable level, when in actuality, ed was completely content to shed that part of his persona.

and then there he is dreaming about ed with that part right on back.

so there's very clearly still a part of his mind that's convinced that's what ed wants. because why wouldn't he? everyone else seems to. and why would he want the softness and femininity stede had been bullied for his entire life?

which in turn plays into his own imagery too. bearded, masculine, fiercesome, rugged...

because how could someone love what everyone has hated him for? how could someone want what everyone has tried to quite literally beat out of him?

#OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Revenge Rambles #ALSO #I SAY ALL OF THIS TO SAY #I really REALLY hope they have a conversation about it #Because Stede clearly has some issues going on with his self-worth still #He's getting BETTER #But he's definitely still having issues #And I really hope I'm on the money when it comes to that one shot where Ed seems to be looking at him drinking/partying in Spanish Jackie'z #And is looking TROUBLED #I keep envisioning an exchange where Ed is like 'Well this is...different' #And Stede cheerily goes 'Ah yes. Trying something new! Do you like it?' #And Ed looks him dead in the eye and goes 'Do YOU?' #Also it kills me how they're both sort of having the same issues just in different fonts #Ie Ed worrying that he's unlovable how he is #And Stede ALSO worrying that he's unlovable how he is #They both want to change parts of themselves/shy away from parts of themselves #When in reality both of them love each other for who they really are #AND I HOPE THEY HAVE A CONVERSATION CENTERED AROUND JUST THAT #I HOPE THAT'S WHAT AAAALLL OF THIS IS BUILDING TO

[winchester101]

I am people

#I be thinking essays about sanji and his self worth issues and how he has no concept of how much he’s loved #but then he’s also my wife who asked for no pickles #that’s my wife #sanji #one piece

[wild-magic-oops]

Gale: *simply explains something that he has way more experience and knowledge about than the player character*

Some players who seem to have self-worth and insecurities issues and take offense at the very idea that someone else might be more knowledgeable or experienced in a subject than them: He talks so much and he's so condescending!

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale #bg3 #my posts #at least realize why you're reacting like that and stop putting your hate takes in the character tag #like 30% of the gale hate I've seen is literally just that #people feeling inferior to him and reacting with anger #and making him to be condescending when he's literally not except for 1 single occasion which is conditional #and even then it's because he himself is reacting due to his own self-worth issues #but good job on missing the point #i love gale/sorcerer but the fandom's popular take on it is just ughhhhh

[densitywell]

there's nothing orym would ask of the other hells that he wouldn't do himself, which is sort of the problem, really

#critical role #cr spoilers #orym of the air ashari #bells hells #if you don’t have a homegrown curse you can use to your advantage (moon powers) storebought is fine (deal with a hag)! #and its not even sunk cost fallacy or feeling like he needs to make the deal worth it i think. this is just what he feels is necessary #and its his own self worth and the value he places on his own life vs the importance of this cause. reflected back on the others #how the rest of the hells have adopted this mindset but with wavering conviction and doubt - not really fitting quite right #while it fits orym like a glove. bc that's who he is. it's what he's been taught. bc this conflict is his past and his present #and as far as he's considered it. his future! #me this morning: i will not get back into orymposting. orymposting is the mind killer. #me now: #eta: i guess this could be disputed by him saying fearne would have to be the one to take imogen out pre-solstice. #but i've always seen that as a purely practical 'who would actually be capable of doing this' issue as opposed to sentimentality. #he was fully ready to cut dorian in exu. however he may feel about the act his resolve is not an issue!

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / violence mention / slight suicidal implications / self-worth issues / ]

I always think about Leo’s “I’m nothing without my brothers” and recently I’ve been particularly thinking about how that’s not…entirely inaccurate, when put against the fact that without his brothers there to save him from the Prison Dimension, they would have next to nothing of Leo left.

And even more than that, him thinking he’s nothing without his brothers…is that what he thinks himself to be, as he floats in the Prison Dimension, battered and beaten? Alone as he was, with nothing but a photo to connect him to his family and his fellow prisoner being someone who doesn’t even know his name…was he content being nothing, then?

There’s a dichotomy there, in regard to how Leo tackles the difference of his family being separated from him, and him being separated from his family. One gives way to immediate action and panic, the other quiet acceptance.

He willingly takes on the descriptor of Nothing only when he’s the one that’s cut away.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #death mention / #slight suicidal implications / #violence mention / #self-worth issues / #I will never shut up about how dangerous a combo ‘I’m nothing without my brothers’ and ‘it’s not about me’ make!!! #keep in mind that Leo’s family does NOT know about his ‘I’m nothing’ line…they’ve only gotten to see his showboating persona #the Hamatos really live by the ‘my family is my power’ and Leo takes that and goes ‘my family is the only really worthwhile thing about me’

[catradoraism]

hua cheng about xie lian’s “most trusted person”: his highness is too trusting sometimes :( i wish that person was me but i know it couldn’t be :(

xie lian about hua cheng’s “beloved”: that person is such a tasteless freak if /i/ were san lang’s beloved i would never take him for granted he’s so handsome and capable and strong and charming and funny what kind of fucking idiot wouldn’t love him back

#where are the jealous xie lian fics i need them #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official’s blessing #i can respect xie lian for being oblivious bc hua cheng said he hadn’t won his beloved over #xie lian (clearly smitten as hell): oh so it’s not me then :( #iirc hc also said he hadn’t seen his beloved in a while 😭 while talking to said beloved #also bc i think xie lian did know on some level that he’s hua cheng’s beloved he’s just in deep denial #like the reveal confirmed everything. he tells hua cheng ‘ah so i didn’t misunderstand u!’ #HE KNOWS HC IS FLIRTING #i will not respect hua cheng’s obliviousness tho 🙄 #xie lian is out here going ‘what matters is u and not the state of u’ ‘i rediscovered happiness bc of u’ ‘i’m jealous of ur beloved :(‘ #i need to shake hua cheng. what is not clicking #i know it’s the self worth issues but open ur EYES #or eye

[krashlite]

I p I promise I’m not trying to vilify c!Scott but so many problems keep leading back to him the more I analyze this goddamn series and I’m shaking him around like a goddamn ragdoll Sir why are you Like This

Edit: in trying to unpack why he’s like this I went down a very parasocial rabbit hole so I’m j I’m just gonna put that one back in the box actually

#the laundry list includes but isn’t limited to #jimmy’s issues with self worth #pearl perceiving herself as inherently cruel/dangerous #both Cleo and Pearl acting as protectors while rejecting their own personhood #didn’t cause but reinforced Cleo’s trust issues #also reinforced Martyn’s selfish habits #characters obviously #but holy shit why are you like this #also if you’re curious about the rabbit hole #I started analyzing his apathy which led to the whole Logic vs Emotion argument #which led to Societal Issues which led to issues with the MCC event #and that’s when I put it down

[queersouthasian]

I NEED PEOPLE, MORE PEOPLE TO APPRECIATE BABE'S OBSERVANT MODE BEING FULL ON SPIRALLING AROUND CHARLIE...THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE IN OBSERVING THE LITTLE DETAILS OF THE PERSON YPU LOVE WITH YOUR SOUL...

● BABE NOTICING CHARLIE WAS UNCOMFORTABLE TO DRINK A WHOLE GLASS AND TAKING IT AWAY FROM (EP 2), HIM GIVING CHARLIE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF DRINK AND ASKING HIM IF HE CAN HANDLE IT IN HIS SOFT VOICE (EP 6)

●BABE NOT DRINKING OR SMOKING DURING HIS MOURNING 'CAUSE CHARLIE WOULD WANT HIM TO BE HEALTHY (AS ALAN SAYS "what would Charlie think if he saw you being like this" IN EP 10)

●BABE KNOWING CHARLIE BLAMES HIMSELF SO HE WALKS UP TO HIM AND REASSURES HIM AND COMFORTS HIM BY PATING HIM AFTER HE LOST THE RACE IN EP 9, HE DOES THE SAME IN EP 5 AND 6 AS WELL.

● BABE TEACHING CHARLIE HOW TO RACE AND RECOMMENDING HIM TO THE TEAM (since he thought Charlie was there to get a race car, he teaches and believes in his racing even though he was a newbie)

● BABE IMMEDIATELY LOOKING AT CHARLIE AFTER HE FINDS BLOOD IN KIM'S ROOM, ALERTED, TELLS HIM TO STAY STILL AND HIMSELF GOES IN TO CHECK IN THE NEXT ROOM.

●CHARLIE MENTIONING DIEING, AS A JOKE OR NOT, AND BABE REFUSING TO LET THAT SLIDE EACH TIME

●BABE NOT DIRECTING COMMUNICATING DURING EP4-5 AND NOT LETTING CHARLIE EXPLAIN, TO CONFRONTING HIM ABD LETTING HIM EXPLAIN IN EP7, TO AGAIN CONFRONTING CHARLIE AND WAITING FOR AN EXPLANATION DURING EP 10 BEFORE THE RACE (even though it was a misunderstanding, it shows babe's growing confidence and trust in their relationship)

●BABE GOING FROM HAVING TRUST ISSUES TO HAVING BLIND FAITH AND TRUST IN CHARLIE

●BABE LOOKING OUT FOR CHARLIE AND CALMLY TALKING AND LISTENING TO HIM BEFORE THE RACE IN EP9, SUGGESTING SEX 'CAUSE IT HELPED HIM WHEN HE HAD THE POWERS.

●BABE SHIELDING CHARLIE, PUSHING CHARLIE AWAY FROM DANGER

●BABE IMMEDIATELY LOOKING OUT FOR CHARLIE AFTER EVERY ALTERCATION

●BABE BRINGING CHARLIE TO THREE PLACES (the restaurant, the stargazing road, his childhood home) WHICH ARE SOME INTIMATELY PART OF HIS LIFE

●BABE TOUCHING CHARLIE, BEING EXTREMELY INTIMATE WITH HIM DURING THE SEX SCENE IN EP 13, JUST TAKING HIS TIME TO STARE AT HIM, HOLD HIM AND KISS HIM.

●BABE IMMEDIATELY HOLDING CHARLIE WHEN BEING PUSHED IN EP 8

#lgbtq #bl drama #Charlie's self worth issues healed 'cause of his lover #Like it nor not #He is the reason charlie became s #*so #Confident in their relationship #pit babe the series #charliebabe

[sugar-rice]

Buggy seeing non-one-piece fans hating that he's on the dashboard and thinking he's ugly

#my post #one piece #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #op buggy #he already has self-worth issues guys he's doing his best #one piece memes #clown #tumblr clown

[sxnbleachedfiles]

this is how i look trying to make deep analysis in my head on kit and johnny with only 5 scenes at disposal

#i need cassie to look me in the eyes and tell me she’ll address kits parental issues #and the self worth issues too while we are at it #that he will not magically heal just bc ty loves him back #this is why i need him to have a strong bond w his family #and strong friendships too #romantic love will not make everything suddenly better #(sorry sorry this is me rambling bc im aro . back on track) #also ! i need ppl to remember that kits problem is not ty not feeling the same #but WHY he thinks ty doesn’t love him back #which is the belief that he is unworthy . bc johnny made him BELIEVE that #i need these beliefs discussed and debunked #johnny rook had fifteen years to cherish him and look what he did instead #only mf i’d genuinely kill on the spot #kit herondale #the wicked powers #the dark artifices #twp #tda #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #johnny rook

[zeb-z]

missa, after his self resentment and lamenting about how he doesn’t feel worthy or like he should be accepted, after telling himself and the capybaras that he doesn’t have a home, not really - after all is said and done, he returns to phil & missa, leaving his mini mi in the house on the wall. as if he’d consider anywhere other than the house he shared with phil safe enough. seeking out safety and home brought him right back where he started.

something about how despite his internal conflicts and issues about what he thinks he deserves, he’ll still come back. and for all he worries that he is not enough to be loved in return, his name is still on the warp stone.

#he’s got issues out the ass of his self worth and it’s like. yeah shit man you haven’t been reliable but you’re not unloveable #he wants to be better and he tries and he cares the issue is he holds the rest of his family on such a pedestal #this shame and guilt bubbles up and is only made worse when he isn’t rejected or hated like he’s expecting. he’s taken back with open arms #so he follows phil for guidance as to what’s acceptable. without phil there how can he know if it’s ok for him to stay in their home? #as if he didn’t also build their home yknow #but even when all is said and done he returns. even if it makes him feel guilty even if he thinks he doesn’t deserve it #because as much as he doesn’t want to be a bother he wants to be better most of all. wants to be present #I just don’t think he ever expects to be wanted to keep around. like he wants to prove himself and he’s expecting his loved ones to reject #any sort of redemption. meanwhile they don’t see the need for a redemption in the first place #shaking missa you wet cat of a man you dense self sabatoging silly silly man #stop your hero worship. own up and show up. and let your family love you because my god you are so loved #sorry tags got away from me it’s like 5 am and I’m like ahfhhrhfhshfhhs #mcyt #qsmp #q!missa #missasinfonia #z speaks

[fluffypotatey]

you ever think about how MK never gets a chance to really define himself?

#had this thought while driving home #like he barely even gets any chance to place some identity other than monkie kid and delivery boy bc he always gets interrupted #every villain has their own preconceived notion on who and what he is #Demon Bull family saw him as a ‘little thief’ and ‘noodle boy’ #Spider Queen called him junior or something???? #Macky even told MK that he is nothing w/o the staff. He also projected a lot of his anger with swk to MK bc he saw a lot of similarities #LBD did one better and shattered his own self worth by feeding into his insecurities and trying to mold him into her pawn (champion? will w #ever know what she wanted and why she wanted Mac to capture mk and swk???? what was their role that she wanted them to play???) #Azure even tries to assert his own perceptions on MK in the special and oh boy how he snaps back (🥰 so satisfying) #‘Oh there’s nothing mindless about me…friend’ <- one of the rare times MK puts his foot down when other try to assume what he is #I betchu s5 will focus on MK grappling with his identity bc we laid some foundations he is ok with acknowledging it #But actually processing what this meant for him? I have a guess that he wants to avoid that #And the ironic part is that swk (if he knew which I think so) is now the one trying to get MK to communicate his thoughts and feelings #It’s swk who warned MK about the dangers of hiding or avoiding huge issues like having a giant & powerful monkey form #bc swk has spent like the past 3 seasons doing the opposite of what he’s preaching to MK at the special (this is why i love him he’s trying #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk mk #lmk qi xiaotian #qi xiaotian

[ourcwnside]

❛ no matter what you think of yourself , i will always think you are worth loving . ❜ whichever way around of combos, aziracrow and raphzi and you decide setting/timeline <3

Soft Words, Soft Skin

Kind, gentle words, and it was not the first time Crowley had heard such a sentiment from Aziraphale, but as much as it was appreciated, it was harder to really believe. After all, he was a demon---and not just any demon, he was the demon that introduced sin to humanity. And Aziraphale was...Aziraphale. Good and compassionate, the best of all the angels, in Crowley's opinion. It never ceased to amaze him that he could possibly love him, and he certainly didn't think he deserved that love.

Yet that love was his all the same, and the fact that they were lying in their bed, the angel's arms around him, was proof.

"Mmm," Crowley made a soft noise of protest while his hands trailed down to slip underneath Aziraphale's shirt and trace aimless patterns against his skin. "I really don't deserve you, angel."

#✦ flash bastard — ⊰crowley⊱ #ofginjxints #{ I'm sorry to keep going with the same combo we can absolutely mix it up more! } #{ but this specific prompt just felt very right for Crowley and his issues w self worth } #{ I'm thinking this is the same verse as our 1st thread but later down the line a bit? been together a little longer? } #{ lmk if you want anything different though }

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I feel like there’s a point to be made about how SVSSS, MXTX’s first novel, deliberately comments on and explores the prevalence of tragically orphaned, traumatised protagonists through Luo Binghe (both versions), and explores how that trope would actually affect the characters as people. Meanwhile, her second novel tells the story of someone who at face value has a very similarly generic backstory, but she deliberately breaks past those narrative confines with Wei Wuxian, whose identity doesn’t depend on that at all. 

Both characters have a very similar, deliberately ‘generic’ backstory – orphaned very young, grew up on the streets in poverty, were taken in by a cultivation sect but were abused by someone in power, and so on – but what separates them is their actions and levels of agency (both narrative and personal). If the value of it for Luo Binghe is to comment on and exploring its use as a button for sympathy points, the value of it for Wei Wuxian is to actively reject that use, and rather than using it as a way to make him tragic and sympathetic because of his helplessness, it’s used to enhance his narrative agency. He isn’t defined by it, he’s defined by what he does despite that.

#lbh is pretty much what fanon wwx is by the way #you want someone with self-esteem issues born out of a traumatic backstory? #someone with low self-worth despite being very powerful? #someone who WILL chase after someone they loved even after that person has hurt them a lot? #(not to compare sqq to jc their situations were EXTREMELY different #and sqq was generally much nicer to lbh than jc to wwx #and there's absolutely no romantic interest in canon between wwx and jc at all) #lbh is very much driven by a desire to be needed and loved by someone #and his self worth kind of depends on that #(unlike wwx) #both characters are so much more interesting when read as what they ARE #if you want fanon wwx's personality don't push that onto canon him just go read scum villain ok #it's good #OH also yeah morally grey? LBH #even excluding bingge (though i'm not sure you could even argue him being morally GREY he's a black lotus for a reason) #internal morality doesn't really play a part in what he decides to do #anyway #mdzs #mdzs meta #svsss #svsss meta #scum villian self saving system #wei wuxian #luo binghe #this is a prequel to a longer post exploring how wwx's narrative agency is treated #because there's a LOT to say about that #my meta