#im always happy to be educated about whatever topic

[zeawesomebirdie]

Hey! I took so much time to answer I’m on holidays now :’) feels so weird to have that much free time in may… If you’ve had the appointment by now, I hope it brought good news (or, I suppose, as good as possible in this situation) and if it hasn’t happened yet, I hope it’ll go well. I wish I could help you with that, but at least I’m glad our correspondence is bringing you joy :)

Honestly, there might be a lot of them, but I don’t really do anything with my OCs, they just float in my head lol. Sometimes I draw them or I talk about them, a few have Pinterest boards for how they'd dress or toyhouse pages (I wanted to create TH pages for everyone but I don't have art of most of them so it's not happening anytime soon unfortunately) and one or two are used in other stuff like Cécilia who I used to play in a DnD campaign and is now an NPC in another campaign, but mostly they're just there for me to have silly little fantasies about. Meredith and Cécilia are for general stuff, a lot of projecting, thinking about QPRs and fun flatmate stuff; Alex, Laë and Adrien are for cute romance stuff, sometimes more spicy stuff if I'm in the mood, or soulmate AUs; Ophelia has problems with her parents and adventures with Oswald; Aster is all the dramatic stuff but also boring work things that he gets to be all 'drinking wine in your cool chair at 1am' about; Alex also gets a lot of family bonding and shenanigans since I gave him a big family (it keeps extending... I gave him one more sibling and a few cousins since last time and I'll probably keep adding to it...) The only one I really actually use is Cécilia, because while I don't play her anymore my friend started another campaign in the universe of the one where I played her in, so I’ve given them my opinion of what she would say when they’ve asked. Mostly I create them for the sake of creation, because inventing a little guy and doing whatever you want with them is like playing with dolls or petshops but you decide what they look like hehe.

The 'drawback' with making all of my OCs for daydreaming purposes is I tend to gravitate towards characters in a very - set? period? Like, you know how fandoms tend to have specific moments at which they prefer to write characters, before or after they change a lot, when they're still alive, when they're still talking to another character? Not all fics use this 'ideal state' of characters of course but like, you'll see a lot of Obikin set during the Clone Wars but Ahsoka's still there, or a lot of Johnlock before Sherlock fakes his death in S2, that kind of thing? It's like the characters have a default state? Well mine are all kind of like that, and there's not a lot of story around it. They almost all live in the same world at the same time, so at best they'll have a past where they became who they are now, but they're all a bit stuck. Meredith grew past a lot of her insecurities, Cécilia has a goal of becoming powerful and cool but it's for a very distant future, Laë Alex and Adrien are dating and they're young but they probably won't break up, Alex's sister's kid is going to be a toddler forever, etc. They're all relatively nice and doing okay, because I personally don't daydream about people being mean and suffering, but that makes them a little flat sometimes haha. A bit like we’re seeing them at a set point in the story, but never going forward, only seeing them at the beginning/middle/end of their story but not the rest. Which is why characters for a story sounds so interesting to me! If you put them in a story you need to know where they start and where they end and how they change in the middle, there's a few moments where they're at their 'ideal state' and then they keep going, and that's so cool! Though that must mean you’d be creating them very differently, less ‘what are their vibes’ and more ‘what’s their fatal flaw’

Right right right, the amatonormativity is there and I think it would be a little funny to throw poor Reil in all of that. The conflict between “Jedi don’t form attachments” so being aro is ‘useful’ because that does eliminate a type of attachments, but also still being surrounded by people who date and swoon over crushes and have romances (because personally I’m firmly team ‘attachment is when it’s too extreme, Jedi are allowed to have fun as long as it doesn’t interfere with their duties’ so I imagine romances are a thing, whether they end quickly or they manage to last.) And yesss making characters a bit like you is so so cool!! Tbh I can't believe I first thought about giving Meredith a boyfriend because she's the most self-insert of my OCs! Though even back then I knew that would just be wrong so I didn't and then I realised some stuff about myself haha. I also thought I wasn't aro because I'd like some kind of life partner and romance is fun, which wasn't helpful lol. But yeah I’ve seen the sentiment of ‘I thought being aro/ace was hating/being completely oblivious to all that stuff and I was okay with it/got it fine so that meant I couldn’t be aro/ace’ and 1) mood 2) good example of why it’s so important to talk about those definitions because, I’m so glad to see those identities talked about more.

The OC post hadn’t been written but I think you’ve seen it by now haha. I don’t post anything besides +/- finished art on my artblog, so for anything OC related it’s on my main in the ‘wow i have an ocs tag now’ tag!

The vampire OC is Meredith, she's my little self-insert <3 Technically you could argue that since both her and Cécilia are really similar to me and they're not-dating-but-also-not-not-dating it's a bit weird but hey who cares. She's 52 and a potioneer/alchemist, she has a cat called Theo, a lot of friends, long hair and skin problems, she's aroace and she owns her own shop. Since she's a vampire and she has sensitive skin most of the time the only parts of her body not covered by clothing are like, her hands/fingers and her face more or less, she wears a lot of long sleeves turtlenecks and tights/trousers. That's not actually how I wanted to dress when I was younger, I said that because she also wears relatively poofy skirts and cool gloves and ballgowns and boots and jewellery and mostly dresses in black and red and dark colours, which IS closer to what I wanted to dress like (and still do tbh. How lucky she is to have an actual adult job that gives her money to pay for cool clothing and accessories...) Most of my OCs dress in styles I love actually, whether it's the guys who are literally just a guy and dress like that (the graphic tee/hoodie + cargo pants, a singular pair of sneakers and one vest that's too light for the winter, you know the type? Literally just a guy. Love that vibe I’m obsessed with it for some reason) or the elaborate dresses or the hair colours I can't really do because I don't want to bleach mine, or the clothes sharing or the jewellery or the gay poet/pirate shirts, they're all dressing super cool and I wish that was me 😔 Sometimes I'll imagine what my OCs or my favourite characters would wear in my wardrobe and it's very fun, I keep meaning to draw that and then I never do lol

Yeah I mostly act like cringe is dead because I don't really have interactions with people who still believe in it, but I do have a few anti mutuals (though coming out as liking Snarry got one of them to unfollow me so...? That's something? Don't know if it's positive or not but it happened) I don't actually know if you're mutuals with Alex @/storm-of-feathers since I saw you reblog from them but if you are, then you too have the pleasure of having anti mutuals :D Don’t know if you’d already noticed that or not, sorry if that’s how you’re learning about it? tbh after I answered your ask about Tomarry I expected the inquisition once again but apparently either those mutuals weren't online or I was right to tag the post because nothing happened. It does get kind of taxing to avoid talking about specific things or refrain from reblogging posts I like in case the few people who wouldn't approve see it. But at the same time I really don't like change so I'm not really doing anything about it since both of them aren't bothering me about it like 99% of the time.

Yeaah the Knights are just no fun :( I’m glad fandom is there to make something with the fun material the canon writers are just leaving there unexploited, but I also wish canon was just good on its own. Though I guess that does change things in terms of the fandom… I finished watching Gravity Falls a while back and it’s a very good show, so I was a little afraid of going in the fandom, as opposed to things like Star Wars where I knew that if I got into it I wouldn’t even hesitate throwing myself in the fandom. I don’t really know how to explain that, but (and I say that without any negativity towards people who like different stuff than me, they’re doing their thing I’m doing mine y’know) when canon is good and works on its own, it’s different to apply the same ‘fandom lenses’ to it. I read things casual fans wouldn’t even think about, but when it’s for like, HP or SW, it’s whatever, because canon doesn’t really feel like it’s going to explore the stuff it sets down anyway. Whereas with things like GF, canon IS exploring what it sets down, it has a clear message it’s communicating well, and coming in with for example some completely out of left field ship feels different. Anyway :’) I guess I could start getting into stuff that’s good to avoid the problem of canon sucking, but then I’m not getting as much weird fandom stuff, and that’s full of pearls and really interesting stuff I love, so heh

You don’t sound like you’re putting down your writing! I do get what you’re describing, not on a writing level but on a general language level, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one haha. I learnt french and english through osmosis but my grammar is really bad and as you said, I know what would sound right and what wouldn’t, but not why. I don’t really feel like working on it personally though, so props to you for that, I gotta admire the dedication to actually improving yourself through work haha. I’m sure the exercises’ll pay off and you writing will be even better! (also 15 years is a lot, that kinda hit me but whoa you’ve been writing for a whiile) (and I realise I didn’t say a lot about this, I don’t quite know how to put that in writing but you can imagine the equivalent of listening and making little noises to let you know I’m following)

The GwtW essay might or might not come, I got a 18.5/20 on the ‘exam’ I read the book for (only counted as 8% of that class’ final grade but still) and the teacher told me I should try developping my thoughts and writing the full essay I didn’t have enough time to do. I’ll have to see how motivated I get, I’ll tell you if it ends up happening! Though I was a little turned off by the vibes Rhett and Scarlett give off at the end, I love me a nice little fucked up relationship but their vibes were just hitting too close to home (derogatory). I’m also considering a thing about my absolute forever favourite fic, Pacify by chickenpets, because it’s just. It’s just good. Except it’s the one that got people to send me panicked asks about my morality so yeah :’)) (it’s like. Snarry with some underage, an interesting dynamic and BDSM, but also super well written and it hit 700k recently and every time I think about it I want to go read it again)

Also also how’s the Tomarry going hehe? Recommending you all those fics got me to reread some I hadn’t touched in a while and *dreamy sigh* Don’t think I’ll be going back to canon anytime soon though, because by that point I know it well enough to tell you all the little details even if I haven’t read it since I was like 13 :’)) Your comment about Dumbledore made me think about the morality of putting the magical baby of her sister on the doorstep of Petunia Dursley though. Personally I see him not as a good or a bad person but as someone who by the point of the wars with Voldemort just did what had to be done. He didn’t explicitly want to give Harry a shitty childhood to make him more malleable like you’ll see in certain fics, it’s just that Harry had to be protected and the blood magic was already there. Also he probably expected Petunia to have grown up a little since her childhood when she was super jealous of her sister, and tbh why wouldn’t he? Yeah giving Harry to people you know nothing about is a bad decision, but sometimes you believe in the good in people (in most cases) and – well there are times when turning a blind eye to a situation is helpful, and when you feel responsible for the wizarding world… Like he’s not really a good person, but he wasn’t doing it to be evil? He just had flaws and a past and responsabilities. But also yes Harry Potter is fucked up if you analyse it from an adult’s POV because it’s a children’s book and obviously in the children’s book it’s not fun if Harry isn’t put in situations no good guardian would make possible :’)) God Harry Potter will never leave me. Like I’ll be able to give you a little speech on Severus on autopilot at 82 in retirement home :’)) just, forever etched into my brain whether I want it or not.

ANYWAY sorry Harry Potter was my thing for so long it’s ridiculously easy to get me to monologue about it for hours. Hope you’re doing well and having fun, sending you love <3 (and if you’re not, then I’m sending you even more)

Hello hello! I hope your holidays are going well! It must be wonderful having so much free time after classes! My appointment went well, though there's still no official reason for why I can't hear as well anymore lol. Supposedly it's actually a processing disorder? But I have to be evaluated for that now, so I have to wait until I can have that evaluation before I'll know anything more substantial.

Listen, I absolutely love every aspect of these asks. It's so much fun to get to really dig into things! And your insights and thoughts are always so well put, it's genuinely a pleasure every time you're in my ask box!

Wow okay the thought you've put into your OCs! You're right, I do create my OCs from a standpoint of "how do I get this character from point A to point B," so it's so fascinating that you've got this consistent point of reference for yours. Like, with my OCs, especially the ones I make for the purpose of filling out my cast (or in the case of my original novel thing, for the purpose of being the cast), I need to think of them as these works in progress, because that's what they are, they're constantly being affected by the actions of the other characters and their surroundings and the workings of the universe I'm writing in. I can remember always struggling with certain aspects of one-shots because how does one demonstrate the way a character changes in only one scene? And then when I switched to writing longfics (and ultimately novels, now), suddenly my writing clicked.

And, your OCs all sound incredible! It must be so wonderful to have this consistent cast of characters for all your needs and purposes. If you ever do manage to make the toyhouse pages for everyone I'd love to see it! You really have a way of emphasizing who a character is at that point in time, it's absolutely amazing how you do that!

I'm also firmly on team "Jedi can have some fun but not the extreme attachments that Anakin had going on." But yeah, I also want a life partner and I agree romance is incredibly fun to do! That stuff all requires a really good conversation up front with whomever you're gonna be doing it with though (and here I am, giving life advice like I'm not only 23 lmao but) if you've got the right person (or people) it can be a wonderful arrangement. I've been with my partner for a year and a half and with my boyfriend for just about nine months, and genuinely having a relationship with people who are similarly on the aroace spectrum has been so much fun.

I was going to explain how my relationships worked and then realized that's a little weird of me, even for tumblr, so I deleted it and um you're getting this instead lol. But yeah! Qprs and "romantic" relationships where all parties understand that the romance isn't something y'all are able to feel are really fun! Highly recommend!

I saw the OC post! Your OCs are so cool, just saying, like my dude, that's so so cool!

Omg please draw your OCs or characters in general wearing outfits you have or outfits you want!!! This is just a random thing, but I swear Luke Skywalker would look incredible in one of those 1950's shirtdresses. And the just a guy aesthetic, that's how I dress rn lol! Granted, once I get top surgery I'm going to finally buy the 1950's style dresses I've always wanted to wear but didn't pass enough to, but the just a guy vibe is incredibly fun to do!

Yeah so when I went from being a Zelda blog to an obikin blog in 2021, a bunch of my anti mutuals unfollowed me (which, good for them for having the maturity to unfollow instead of me needing to block them), and those that didn't ended up getting into obikin along with me. I did notice Alex was an anti, I'm not mutuals with them though I was following them for a while. I'm not anymore, one too many vagueposts about anti rhetoric got me to unfollow them, but yeah. I'm pretty open about what problematic stuff I ship (at least, in the Star Wars fandom), so if people follow me after seeing my bio that's kinda on them, and if they start shit I just block them. I'm still unlearning the whole being hesitant to share what ships I'm currently into from the hellscape that is the main Zelda fandom (and from my 2016 experiences with anti-reylos), but I've started to get better about it finally. It really helps to have like-minded mutuals tbh.

Oh, so what you're saying with Gravity Falls reminds me of this one thing I read somewhere a while ago! Basically, you can tell how good a canon media is by how much you (/general you) want to read/write fic for it. If its good but has lots of room for improvement, you're more inclined to look for fic, but if its really good and you can't see anywhere it could be better, you won't want to look for fic because it's all right there in canon! Obv ymmv, ofc, as with all things, but I've found this to be true for a lot of my own fandom experiences. Ofc there aren't any medias I can think of for myself off the top of my head, but when I do write fic or search for fic it's because I didn't like some aspect of canon or another, and really wish it had been different in whatever way!

I'm glad what I was trying to describe about writing was making sense! Thank you for listening, I really appreciate it. And 15 years is a long time, but like, I've been writing since I was like 8, so that's how I arrived at that number lmao. I was telling stories from the time I could talk, I just didn't start writing them down until I got to be 8, and that's where it all began! Little 8 year old me didn't even know I'd be writing like this though, little 8 year old me just wanted to keep my siblings entertained for our parents :)

Oh yeah I love a good fucked up relationship omg, but I'm sorry it hit so close to home like that. Okay so Pacify sounds amazing, I'm going to give that a look, thank you for mentioning it (insert eye emoji several times I'm on desktop and have no idea how to do that from here lmao). I'm sorry that you got panicked morality asks about that, wtf, that's so fucking rude of them. I checked the tags out on the whole series, and this seems so tame considering some of the tags I've seen for other stuff? And like, maybe I'm tainted from delving into the wonderful world of dead dove as a writer plus no longer having anti mutuals, but sheesh. Antis really don't have better shit to do? I hope you can get back to the fic someday, it looks really good and you deserve to have a good time reading whatever you want!

I had to take a break from the tomarry because I ordered the 7 books (from a thrift store, obv, we do not support R*wling in this household) and it's been over a decade since the last time I read them and I needed the refresher. I've just started Goblet of Fire, and I've only had my hands on the books for 8 days, and omg. The tomarry brainrot is real. And my old drarry brainrot is back, and I have to tell you I'm down for snarry too now!

Looking back at this from an adult's perspective is pretty wild too. The first two books were marketed as children's books, but 3-7 were YA back when they were released, and my library even had book 7 alone in the YA section up until a few years ago when they finally moved it down to children's to be with the rest of the series. All this context because, I've been reading adult fiction and horror for the last decade, when I wasn't reading fanfic. And reading children's books for the first time in that long was a goddamn shock (affectionate), but it was really fun to pretend for a bit that I was just a kid on the 8 hour drive to our vacation cabin again! Once I got to Prisoner of Azkaban I felt a lot more comfy with the writing style, but YA is much closer to what I'm familiar with than outright children's, which I'm ofc grateful for. And omg, this series meant so much to kid!me, and I forgot how wonderful it was, and all the current discourse with it (while justified) has really tainted my recollections of it. Yes there's so much ableism and racism and homophobia, but that's what fandom is for, isn't it?

(I'll be honest, as someone who's still got a foot in a fandom such as Hetalia, I see no issues with being in a fandom for a problematic media; and my personal opinion is that I'm not comfortable consuming canon unless necessary for such a media, and if I must consume canon then I buy it secondhand so that the creator doesn't get my support. I have no interest in the HP movies, nor the books past Deathly Hollows; and if I ever do have a point where I'm interested in them, again, I'll just by them secondhand. And if I may add, I've recently started getting involved in professional published and to-be-published author's groups, as a means of encouraging myself to work on my original novel, and you'd (/general you) be incredibly surprised to see how they all interact with and around content that's incredibly problematic for whatever reason and how they interact about authors who are horrible people such as R*wling. It's been very interesting to see such things from a professional, irl pov instead of just fandom. But anyway, that's my views on the topic just so we're all clear fuck R*wling <333 I also hope that all made sense lmao thanks for letting me express that I've been needing to say it since getting back into the fandom)

But okay my opinions on Dumbledore. That opinion from the other week was 100% warped by the last decade in fandom without any interaction with canon on my part. Having read books 1-3, I can see a lot of my old opinions and admiration for Dumbledore still being applicable today, in fact I even suspect a lot of my opinions of death and dying could have come directly from Sorcerer's Stone where Dumbledore talks about Flammel deciding to give up his immortality. And you're right, it's hard to apply adult lenses to a children's/YA series where if the guardian figures were "adequate" for lack of a better word, we wouldn't have any story at all. So I'm kind of reading this from a, "if I were still a kid again how would I interact with this" perspective, while also maintaining my, "as an adult how would I write these characters being in their 20s (or whatever age they are when Harry, Ron and Hermione are mid-20s)" perspective. It's been helping a lot to have my reactions split like that lol. I think my current annoyance with Dumbledore is that, how dare he let Harry go back to the Dursley's now, knowing how abusive they are to him? And I understand (from memory, ofc), that there's the mother's love protection, but I suppose from an adult's perspective, particularly an adult like how I am, I can't quite get it. I do take back what I said about Dumbledore being a horrible character though. He's got his past, and his reasons, and he's been fighting this war longer than any of the characters in this series have been alive for the most part. Obviously he'll be flawed in ways I won't be able to understand, and that's how real people are, so ofc I won't always get it. It's interesting, I think, being an adult and remembering how fondly and in awe I'd look up to Dumbledore, and now as that adult wondering how he could make some of these decisions. None of this is meant like, rudely or anything btw, just v interesting and v looking forward to rereading the rest of the series and forming further analyses!! Thank you for getting me onto this <33

When I finish the last book, I would love to hear that essay about Snape please (once again insert eyes emoji)!

And yeah, Harry Potter was a big fandom for me at one point so I def get it! I've found it's the kind of fandom that almost everyone has been in at one point, and most of us always go back at certain points in our lives. I'm really lucky that I get to be rereading it now, I really needed this right now with everything going on, so thank you so much Ram <333

Everything is going much better now, thank you for all the love! And right back at you, all my love to you and may you have a lovely day when you see this <333

#im not going to tag any of the ships in this i dont want it to appear in tag searches lmao #and if people have a problem with me talking about any of this id appreciate it if they came to me off-anon so we can talk it out :) #im always happy to be educated about whatever topic #including fandom discourse if need be! #cant promise ill have the energy for such things right away though. ofc #i kinda do have chronic fatigue lmao #but yeah #hey Ram ily #thank you for this #this made my day

[sereniv]

tbh the best way to be informed about farming practices is to just sit back and listen and watch farmers in their natural habitat like in videos and forums. You cant ask, you just have to lurk. Because once you ask a lot of times they bend the truth to seem more appealing.

You ask a farmer about what the unhealthy feed that is given to cows, and they'll deny it and say the cows only get healthy feed because otherwise the milk or meat would taste bad or whatever

but you just watch videos or go into forums and listen and watch and suddenly they show freely them giving their cows literally left over candy like a 3 fist sized ball of candy

same with cutting wings of bees and the animal abuse that happens etc etc

I dont hate farmers, but i know that 1. a lot of the stuff that happens has to be taught and normalized

and 2. regardless of it being normalized they still recognize its bad enough to lie or skew the information sometimes

Like theres literally a video compiled where one farmer will defend something and say its necessary while another one denies it even happens.

Because thats what people do when theres abuse happening. Either "This is just how things have to be" "Its necessary" "Its not my fault " "They dont feel" or "I dont do that" "We dont do that" "They are happy"

Anyone who knows abuse and people who profit from capitalism as a system, will easily recognize this.

Again, anyone who follows me knows my aim is to help farmers transition to plant based food farming where possible. To provide them with money and resources and education to do so

And to rewild the extra land (and of course #LandBack) etc etc

But you just cant trust someone at face who profits off of the use of a sentient being. Be them human or non human animals

Because their livelihood literally depends on that sentient being.

Idk its just every time i hear "that doesnt happen" and then see literally from the farmers mouth that it happens bc they arent in a defensive position, just reminds me how stupid this whole game is ppl are playing

If youre truly anti capitalist and a leftist then stop acting like a conservative capitalist and actually take this topic seriously

And as always, i will be chanting this when im fucking dead because its so important to me: "AS FAR AS IS POSSIBLE AND PRACTICAL (and necessary) "

Meaning we all should be constantly doing the best we can do, and the best you can do can change over time and is going to be different from everyone else

I add necessary because only you can define what is nescessary for you. 2 people from the same culture , same religion, same everything, can have 2 different views of what is nescessary for themselves to happy, healthy, and comfortable

ANNYYWAAAAY

Spend time in a farmers forum and be critical. Remember that their livelihood depends on the usage of an animal. And remember that not just the wellbeing of an animal matters, but so does the farmers livelihood

And that we should be working towards helping the farmer, AND the animal. Because the industry doesnt just affect farmer and animal. It affects the communities who live near the farms and slaughterhouses and it affects the environment in devestating ways, to name a few

#vegan ref #i need a new tag name

[sluttyminghao]

addressing minors in nsfw spaces

so this came through on my most recent form and I really wanted to address it, as they wanted to be educated on the topic and I'm more than happy to address said issue. mutuals and non-mutuals, please feel free to spread this around.

also, anon, if you're still here, you don't have to apologise!

for as long as writing has existed, NSFW writing has coexisted in the same space. it is a place for those to write out their darkest desires, write out fantasies they hope to fulfil, and even just get their frustrations out.

i know many nsfw writers find their space a safe haven where they can freely interact with adult writers and share ideas, without fear of a minor (say...someone who is 15 or 16) encroaching on the space and telling them what to do or not to do.

now, i know for some writers, what they know doesn't hurt them. if you're a minor who doesn't interact with smut blogs or writers, then obviously there is nothing we can do about it. if you are a minor and have proof that you're a minor (either through your bio or some other form) and actively interact with NSFW blogs, that's where the problem lies.

if you take a look through this specific reddit thread (yes ik Reddit is a weird place but it gets the point across, you will see that we are only asking for minors to not encroach on adult spaces for legal purposes. like some of them mention, you are still free to do whatever you like, but most adults who write NSFW will advise strongly against interacting in a NSFW space with a minor because of legal issues and consent problems.

now, one of my dear friends jenna aka @huiranghaes brought up this paragraph and felt like it needed to be said: I get what they are saying, and I think the point that most creators make is that yes, we are aware minors read smut and know about sex and all that, its just about how comfortable we feel knowing minors read smut and the legality of it. If you are anonymous then read to your hearts content, who cares, but it feels wrong to just let a minor read smut when you know they are a minor

i know im going to sound contradictory, but obviously if you are anonymous there is no way we can stop you from reading or writing smut or being in nsfw spaces. however, as someone who is almost in their mid-twenties, and I know some are older, I don't feel comfortable interacting with someone who is freshly an adult.

i hope this makes sense for you, and I hope that anyone reading this understands why minors are not always welcomed into adult spaces.

#a's discourse

[b1mbodoll]

oh goood how annoying these ppl are lmfao but ive gotta say that i also use „” a lot because it just is right grammatically and it helps understand the sentence more so i guess we shouldnt judge what we dont know AND THIS GOES TO THAT ANON TOO (but i’ve gotta also add that i dont believe these are the same people? idk they write differently(?)) btw don’t concern yourself about such people lol and remember: it’s just the internet, these are strangers, and while being active in the socials you should be prepared for such anons to come! but again, they have not the right to talk bad about you (and i may also add (yes i’m kind off judging again) that they probably don’t know the meaning of „pick me” as i didn’t know it as well for a long time and i thought it was something like acting like oveeeeerrrrlyyyy cute in front of the boys.. but now i’ve educated myself on that topic and know better!) idk where i’m going with this ask but i love you gabi even if you don’t know me:( i’m interacting with your blog for the first time and i’m a bit nervous because i’ve never sent an ask in my life and i’m so scared to send it:(( but yes okay i love you<3

(it took me a whole 7 minutes to prepare myself for sending this ask)

hihi anonie 💌 thank u for sending in such a sweet message and please please please !!! do not be afraid to interact more :( my inbox is always open n i love talkin to u guys ! i promise i’ll reply as soon as i can <3 i’m sorry for replyin a lil late but i was just overwhelmed n wanted to actually take the time to reply which is why i held onto this for a little while, so i hope u can forgive me !!!

ur right that with the internet comes mean people but that doesnt make it ok :( its not right to come onto the account of people u dislike or dont know just to be mean and make others feels bad but agh idk i blocked ‘em from sending asks so :] its whatever ! and for the pick me thing, whether or not they knew the meaning it was still unecessary for it to be sent it especially considering the fact that they dont know me. but thank u for the support and the kind words ! ur a doll <3

i love u too honey and im happy you sent this in! again, pls dont be nervous to interact !!!! and im honored to be the first receiver of ur first ask!!!! take care of urself always 💌

#♡.signed. sealed. delivered.

[maplesyrupless]

#5

There's a common knowledge among my friends, close and not so close, and it's that i enjoy saying mean things, It's enjoyable to me ! No, i don't feel particularly bad about it, that is, until, it actually affects someone. Once it's hurtful and once it's actually causing harm, i don't like it. Guess that's pretty human of me to do and feel. I refuse to believe that there are people that get no joy out of being mean, no matter how severe or weak the meanness is.

In case you are curious, for the sake of narrative. For the sake of example. For the sake of making this a more interactive journal. Im gonna give you an example.

Say a friend wants me to handle some interpersonal problems, say they want me to respond to someone in their behalf because they trust me and because they bet on my honesty and character. Who would bet on that anyways, money is precious, but in any case. In any form. Nevertheless. At any rate, they do. Before i can take care of it they say to me: "I'll leave this to you, but don't be too rough with it"

"I don't get rough. You know me. If you are leaving this to me then leave this to me. Don't forget that you rather let me handle this because of your lack of back bone"

Sure, if it had been as simple as just saying "Hey, my friend is hurt by how you are acting" to this person i was about to talk to, they wouldn't have come to me. But i enjoy saying stuff like that when i know the truth damn well. And the moment i enjoy it, i lose sight on whatever was enjoyable about it on the first place.

Needless to say, i took care of it. Funnily enough, their relationship was flowering a couple weeks later, isn't that funny, isn't it interesting that people live in a society so they learn from a young age to forgive and forget. Isn't it so, so, so fucking weird. I guess that's also part of what makes us the species that we are, we find joy even in the worst of conditions, and we also find misery in the best. I guess i was never that blinded by love. I guess i wasn't ever really in love. Whatever that means of course, topic for another day maybe? look at me go, little narrator Jr. finding a new topic to talk about in the page im writing now, silly old me teehee.

.

.

.

I guess there's aspects of human society that i've always struggled to understand. Not that i don't, have i told you that im actually really smart? I know, oh just how fortunate I am. Go me. Not that i believe that, mind you. Or maybe i do, what do you know? go be nosy somewhere else.

But, if you ask me, for example: It's a mystery to me the amount of faith people put on things, never doubting anything, never questioning things, just happy living in ignorance. I consider myself to be knowledge starved of topics. All topics. No matter how niche. It's fun just to know things for the sake of it. Of course, there's a lot i don't know about. Me, inept and poorly educated me, lacked the understanding of something as trivial and simple as believing in something to be comforted by it. But i guess i do get it now. They probably do it because it's easier than doubting the veracity of something.

Doubting.

Is stressful.

The point is that it's less about not doubting something than about "not wanting to doubt", people like believing that they can trust something. Their surroundings. The world. People.

They want security.

So they simply reject doubting, and believe. I guess in that sense our society is as comfortable as it gets. Please continue being comfortable, live on. Get to experience happiness.

However, and i can't express this enough. Be skeptical. If you don't want to live your life making a mess out of things, be skeptical.

This isn't, of course, any life advice, or a place for you to take my thoughts as revelation. You would be pretty stupid to do so. Moronic even. Just a stupid person. No shame in that. Just don't be that type of stupid. If you are, go die somewhere.

.

.

.

I guess as a finishing touch. The torch before the finish line. The final stretch. The added details. I might as well add a small little reflection upon myself that i had recently.

I'm not at all a socially awkward person. I know how society works, better than most. I see it. And i get it. I live in one and participate on one. Everyone does. I see everything and i get everything. Some people are like books to me. I'm probably more socially aware than most. I read the room. There, i had enough jerking myself off for now, heh.

This italic font sucks, by the way. Fix it, Tumblr.

I've been so socially aware that even as i child i started getting how society works. I started without noticing a trend in how i acted towards someone that knew less than me. I used to dumb myself down, just so they don't feel bad about themselves because that how society works. Some people call that humbleness. I call that lying. I knew about the topic, i pretended to not know just for your sake. Be grateful. Or not. Maybe you don't get it after all. Or maybe you do, but ignore it.

Which terrifies me even more.

[lookinggood-livingbetter]

Podes responder a todas ?

1. cereal for sure

2. jupiter

3. compliments about my work

4. spotify, tumblr, watching videos on youtube, series

5. mint

6. sunsets way prettier

7. tripas idk how to translate that

8. oh im obsessed with board games, i love them all but maybe monopoly, scrabble and quizzes

9. hibiscus and green tea

10. oh god they were light green and im the one that chose them, that was my fav color at the time

11. biology/science and history

12. amsterdam

13. keyboard and  mouse, i like typing

14. backpack maybe

15. shrink

16. going to a cinema for the first time

17. any pretty island

18. "be happy" x3 whatever happiness stands for, this has been my wish in every ocasion as new year's wishes or birthday's wishes since i can remember

19. maybe Tris from divergent cause i see myself pretty fearless and always up to try new things and im also very stubborn and always go through whatever to reach my goals, i also have this toxic trait where i have to be the best in everything and every situation in my life and i can see this in her too

20. acting maybe, i've never done it in my life but i can express my emotions pretty well and i can feel other's pain too so i think i would be able to relate with my character and do an amazing job, or not guess we'll never know

21. when i was young i was a huge fan of one direction. my second name is Filipa. im a huge fan of linkin park.

22. i dont have enough knowledge on this topic but please choose one and do it

22. a7x

23. park maybe

24. really dont feel like sharing this one

25. if it all goes wrong, darling just hold on

26. chester

27. at the moment lilac but i also love neutral colors in general

28. the one i appreciate the most is heavy mental but i enjoy literally every type of music

29. oh god too much, i would say 45 min

30. i dont do fiction, it was probably an education book on cardiac echocardiogram

31. sexy bitch

32. pretty little liars (rewatched) / purple hearts

33. @my-0wn-feel1ngs

34. pasta all the wayyyy

35. europe interrail

36. so many, i wanna travel the world baby

37. ​​vigo, spain

38. spain

39. buzz junior on playstation 2

40. i enjoy all sports to be honest so, acrobatic gymnastics, volleyball and basket may be my top 3

41. the sims, is also the only one that i play so

42. now you see me 1

43. snickers and kinder bueno

44. i love em all but french toast

45. her soup is the best and white rice, i usually dont eat white rice i dont appreciate it but her's i do eat

46. i would say january, i like fresh starts

47. fall for sure, i love rainy days and the wind since i was a little kid

48. frost

49. im so a dresses girl, i think its my brand

50. its depends, high heels 35 and sneakers 36

51. dylan o'brien / nina dobrev

52. Favorite  artist

53. im ok, thank you

54. halloween and christmas, cant decide

55. june

56. inês

57. gotta go with spiders cause they dont bother me

58. be in the picture even tho im pretty good at taking

59. cats and butterflies

60. i was dancing (working)

61. check my phone

62. lettuce and avocato (im not sure if it counts as a vegetable)

63. strawberries

64. savory always

65. in a parade dressed as a ledlight butterfly

66. im not committed to any one in particular but i always give something when someone ask me, just cant say no

67. all family together

68. chicken, lettuce, avocato, fried egg and just a little bit of mustard

69. not really

70. pizza caprese

71. i was really afraid when i was young but nowadays im more comfortable with it

72. no

73. i really like my lips, my hair, my waist and my ass, thats my top 4

74. water

75. white

76. bitter

77. salty

78. spicy

79. water

80. apple but only the green ones

81. cat for sure, i have a terrible dog phobia

82. skiing, id love to try that

83. coat

84. hood

85. car

86. Bus or on  foot?

87. yes a calendar that its also a diary

88. @my-0wn-feel1ngs

89. cards, i love playing cards and im actually good at it

90. board  game always

91. pen

92. i hate it

93. by  hand

94. through speakers in home

95. pasta obviously

96. alcoholic: gin; non alcoholic: lemonade

97. no coffee at all for me

98. without sugar

99. the vampire diaries will always have my heart

100. i really dont like jeans so im gonna say tracksuits even tho i dont wear them outside my house

[monstrouslyobsessed]

headcanons for the Cerelos with pregnant clumsy innocent darling. with very Fluffy if possible 😇 —anonymous

tw / tags: afab reader, gendered language, pregnancy, sfw, unedited featured character(s): antlered centaur / emperor cerelos

—note: iunno about innocent, but naivety on the other hand…well, im not v good at writing fluff but i tried? edited: decided to edit out the smutty bit because i wasnt happy with it lol

》Everyday he look at you, he knew he had chosen well. —you may not be the most educated or best mannered empress consort, —but you are nothing less than devoted. —even when you were trembling under other people’s judgmental gazes, you kept your chin high and your smile unbreakable. —if anything, you are better as his wife and lover, his light in the darkness—and as he rubs his hands over your growing belly, soothing the growing child in your womb, you are sure to be a wonderful mother.

》You are uncomfortable, having an equestrian child is harsh on your body, but you are both determined and excited to meet this child. —even though you could no longer walk by 3rd month, you still demand to be the one responsible at overseeing the designs in your child’s nursery room. —you hardly looked that big in your first trimester, your Cerelos assuring you that the child will be born small to fit your statue, but you quickly learned that carrying a magical being brought its own burden. Literally. —who knew magic had a weight to it? —you didn’t care enough to question the logics of magic. —you simply wanted to enjoy your pregnancy the best you could instead of wasting your time questioning things and chattered away on some other topics relating to upcoming parenthoods and raising a child. —ignoring most of the relevant important questions the Emperor would need to answer and address later. —…maybe that is why others thought you might be a bit empty in your head sometimes.

》Cerelos takes upon himself to be your steed, carrying you wherever you wished to go. —regardless of how busy he is, with piling paperworks and scrolls on his desk, you were and are always his first priority much to his advisors’ frustrations. —he…also didn’t trust you not to fall, struggling with the weight of his child’s growing magic in your belly. —he had seen you falling so often before (over nothing even!) that it is practically a second nature for him to kneel and demand you to climb on his back by the very first glance he sees you. 》you are a chatterbox, a giggly one, and you would comb your fingers through the back of his mane while on his back. —Cerelos would never admit it aloud but he adores it when you run your hands through his hair and down his skin. —more so when you are talking about unnecessary things—your passions, your excitements for the future, everything and nothing. —it…is a nice change from listening to the endless drones on the political matters, his advisors and other important figures’ voices as cold as the incoming winter. —you are the summer to his wintery heart.

》Although you fancied yourself as ‘not all that attractive’ and doubted that other equestrian would consider you beautiful, Cerelos saw otherwise —ever since you and he learned that your pregnancy finally took, people’s heads started turning in your direction. —more and more as your belly continued growing. —you still didn’t see how their eyes burned or how often they approached you out of their own free wills, under the pretense of helping you. —Cerelos started clearing out whatever (public) space you are intending on visiting after catching the previous member of his court attempting to flirt with you, keeping only the equestrian maids you are relatively close to. —He wouldn’t admit that he is being both jealous and territorial of his precious empress.

》You started writing storybooks for your child. —You would start writing while lodging in the castle’s lush garden, humming and hawing at all sorts of ridiculous and fantastical ideas that comes to your mind. —Cerelous isn’t all that great at keeping his suggestions G-rated though, he never really had a childhood, but he tried his best. —otherwise, he is an excellent editor and you cherishes his feedbacks. —all the while he’d be sitting on the ground, with you resting against his larger body. —sometimes you’d fall asleep in the middle of your writing, your pregnancy exhausting. —When you do, Cerelos would hum his songs for a moment to lull you into good dreams, before taking your little body into his arms and scuffles his hooves to stand. —he never failed to press a kiss on your forehead once he tuck you in the shared bed, before he leave for his duties. —you’d giggle a little, having been awake long enough to feel his scratchy beard on your nose and for him to kiss you so sweetly, before you return back to your dreamland.

》Although the…romance had slowed down a fair bit with you yourself focusing on your upcoming motherhood, you and Cerelos still flirted with one other in your/his own ways. —nuzzling is a commonplace. —in private, he’d sing a quiet song to you to ease your anxieties and rub you down unprompted. —you enjoys surprise-kissing him. You had gotten good at tricking the Emperor to lend down so you can a plant a sweet one on his lips. He’d get a little flustered, but he rarely failed not to return one which sometimes lead to…quite a passionate round. —he like massaging your body, ridding the tensions and exhaustions in your muscles. Oh, gods, his hands are so godly that you fall asleep sometimes. Cerelos would shake his head and chuckle at you. —whenever you laments the state of your body, Cerelos would quickly remedy your concerns by kissing every inch of your skin and murmur all sorts of words that would have you burning with embarrassment and flattery.

》you are looking forward to the future together with him and the child. —Cerelos wonders how it would look with more than one child.

#my writing #headcanon #cerelos #emperor cerelos #reader insert #afab reader #fem reader #tw: pregnancy #fluff #antlered centaur #centaur #cerelos x reader #cerelos x you #reader x centaur #reader x cerelos #you x cerelos #centaur x reader #you x centaur #centaur x you #unedited #tetrophilia #exophilia #long post

[dantelionwishes]

life is full of ups and downs downs downs downs dow

loredump under the cut. not kidding when I say its gonna be long!

oh shit you actually clicked keep reading thank you for your interest 😭😭😭

YOU KNOW THE DRILL tw // suggestive dont read ahead if youre uncomfortable with the topic of aphrodisiacs! 

MIDDLE SCHOOL 

before anything, I gotta explain he was born to parents who had an infatuation quirk (makes them hardcore fall in love with you) and an infection quirk (transmits a virus via saliva)  

developed his quirk late, since they usually get it by the time kids are four 

most people knew him as quirkless before the first incident 

in middle school, his class was preparing for a school play, he and his classmate got cast as the main lead prince and princess 

coincidentally, they both had a crush on each other and had a scene where they kissed

technically they weren’t supposed to, since its just a play, but one time they were practicing in private and wanted to try kissing “for real”

so they shared a super giggly cute middle school first kiss but well UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM HIS QUIRK HAD WELL DEVELOPED– 

BADABING BADABOOM YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION USE IT

the only way for the quirk’s effects to go away is to come at least once or pleasuring yourself until it goes away

I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE IT BUT. IMAGINE BEING A TEACHER AND FINDING A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER AND AN ADULT IS FORCED TO TELL HER HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY LLLLIKE–

rip now that I’m thinking abt it, I don’t even think anybody would even kNOW HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY so lets imagine she painfully stays that way until they figure out how to make it stop :^(

there’s a big fight that happens between the teachers, principal, and parents of both parties 

of course the crush’s parents got mad and called their kid a fuckin uhhhhh sexual predator or some shit despite also beING THE SAME AGE AND NOT EVEN KNOWING ABT HIS OWN QUIRK LIKE HELLLO

obviously an incident like this is going to spread like wildfire but the principal does not want something like this to leak, especially since it was not on purpose and was a total accident 

the other kid’s parents and some teachers did not feel comfortable however, and sato was forced to drop out

but not wanting to spread the gossip about their son’s quirk and the incident, they leave the town and move someplace else

thankfully, the principal gives the sato family his good grades and a recommendation to a decent highschool for the trouble

they’re originally from osaka, but moved to tokyo 

this is where they start taking precautions with sato, basically teaching him to be careful with his saliva 

it was easily taught and learned esp since the mom was already like that around him and others everyday anyway!! she has to take care of her saliva-based infection quirk, after all 

HIGH SCHOOL

he got enrolled into a regular highschool in tokyo

no hero course, no support course, no business, just a regular ol’ school

if before, he loved surrounding himself with people, this was where he was forced to develop a lonely disposition to protect himself and others

at least his parents were very protective and supportive of him and they were generally a happy family!

but in school, pretending to be quirkless was just as difficult, getting bullied or pitied for having no special abilities 

his excuse for wearing a mask all the time was because his mother had a virus-related quirk, and had to be careful 

one day his dad was suddenly got really, really sick

the more he had an excuse to wear a mask because he didnt want to get whatever disease his father started to develop 

sato started thinking it could be his mother (but why?) the results didn’t say anything about an unknown virus killing him (which is his mom’s quirk), and that his father really did contract a strong yet very normal disease 

while on his second year in highschool, his father, yozo sato, died 

apparently, without him knowing anything about his parents, his mother, oba sato, was actually under the dad’s infatuation quirk this whole time

she realised she wasn’t really in love with him when oba had accidentally allowed a drop of her saliva to fall into the meal she was making him, making him sick, and therefore making him weak enough to deactivate his quirk on her 

oba, back in her college years, wanted to marry someone else but yozo, who had a crush on her wanted her to himself, used his quirk to make him fall in love with her 

so in revenge for making her put up with him all these years to the point of marriage and having a kid, she continued to do this to his food 

her quirk doesn’t make anybody sick enough to die, but it made her husband’s immune system weak enough to the point that it contracted a real, serious disease which he ended up dying from instead 

sato only finds out the real story when he graduates from highschool, days right after his graduation the mom confesses it all 

she does say she truly loves him, but can’t stay around him knowing he was technically “unconsensual love”

sato gets reminded of what his quirk does, and true enough, that’s what him and his quirk turned out to be (a sick combination of his mom and his dad) 

they cant bear to be around each other after that revelation and decide to just not see each other again 

COLLEGE YEARS

he enrolls into an education course, inspired by the kind principal who helped him finish his middleschool-highschool education when it all started going downhill 

sato struggles paying for his college fees esp since he doesn’t exactly have his parents supporting him anymore, nor any contact with immediate family 

he has a lot of part time jobs that go all around the clock, he continues pretending to be quirkless so he gets bullied, and has to deal with all that emotional baggage plus being alone so…….clearly my man is TIRED as hell 

his side job hustles include: convenience store cashier, bookstore attendant, bar bouncer, and rookie gym trainer (he went to the local gym long enough for him to get recommended a job as a trainer)

college was that point where he starts developing a hardcore yearning for a companion because oh my god hes so lonELY (but cant)

ANYWAY SO

there’s this bully guy who always picks on him in college (for being “quirkless” and a loner and overall a fuckin weirdo with a mask)

tbh sato doesnt really give a shit he’s so used to it but he doesnt have his mother as an excuse to wear the mask anymore, this is where he starts forming the “I have bad breath” excuse 

“口臭い” (kuchi kusai) translates to “bad breath” or “stinky mouth” so sato unlovingly gets nicknamed “kusato”

one day he’s walking around the campus at night and finds the bully with his gang cornering another quirkless student, with plans of assaulting her 

sato was never the hero type, and was about to ignore the commotion as to not get involved, but something in him moved on its own and he found himself face to face with the gang 

he confronts them, but the bully mocks both him and the girl for not having powers to stop them anyway 

SIKE BITCH sato’s able to easily strike the other two guys, knock them off their feet enough to be able to tug the to-be victim aside, telling her to report them, before asking her to run away as fast as she can

none of the guys want that (they’re all students) so they have a full on brawl (and this isnt hero academy, its a totally normal university so I wouldn’t assume these guys had very impressive quirks)

except the main bully actually has a pretty decent quirk (he’s like a kinda half human half dragon with sharp claws, scales, and dragon eyes) and gets to injure sato with his sharp claws, seriously injuring his face

a part of his ear is also sort of sliced off, which is how his mask gets accidentally removed in the process 

the dragon bully grabs him by the collar and starts angrily shouting at him for ruining his night, being able to do all this shit without a quirk and all and all other derogatory speech 

“Well? what do you have to say for yourself?!“ 

Sato stays silent before spitting right into the bully’s mouth 

The bully drops him immediately, about to angrily fuck him up for doing something super fucking gross but WHOOP WHOOP YOU KNOW WHATS BOUTTA HAPPEN the quirk works immediately and the bully is a TOTAL MESS on the ground 

Im going to TLDR this part cos its…obviously nsfw but like: sato fully embarrasses him in public (beside the bully’s two colleges nonetheless) 

sato stays in the hospital for some time to heal from his wounds 

fortunately, afterwards, the bullies all get expelled 

unfortunately for sato, he also gets expelled for engaging in bad behaviour, and the bully did say what happened to him (and the college principal did not want his…dangerous quirk on campus) so as to lower any incident, all four were expelled 

at least without having to pay for college fees anymore, he could fully focus on paying for food, shelter, and clothes 

minus of course the hospital bills needed to pay plus he got a sick ass scar from it anyway HAHAHAHA BSDJHJRHDHF

ADULT LIFE

he had a lot of jobs here and there, but was more or less doing best as a trainer at a local gym where people weren’t allowed to use their quirks and strengthen their body regularly 

a few years went by and he eventually shrugged off everything that happened in his final college years but one day someone familiar walked into the gym! It was the fellow college student he saved!!!

she became a policewoman who wanted to get stronger in this quirkless friendly gym and hadn’t given up on her dreams of being a “hero,” inspired by how sato saved her that day

sato never really saw himself as some hero, he was left many nights alone thinking about how easily he could become a villain with his quirk, so hearing that really made him happy 

he trains her as her gym coach and she eventually asks him to join her patrol this small part of the city from a gang that was currently going around doing crimes since he’s good at it anyway, saying she could use some extra hands hehe

so yeah!! he does this side gig with her where he patrols alongside her looking for gang crimes and such c:

AND ONE DAY. [WISTFUL SIGH] ONE DAY. HE FINDS SOMEBODY GETTING MUGGED BY A GANG MEMBER AND SAVES………A CERTAIN MAN–

thank you for reading all the way here!!!

feel free to ask for questions or for any clarifications 😭😭😭!!!!!!

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha oc comeback #mha #bnha oc #mha oc #lionhe(art) #I know I havent exactly written stuff from meeting toshinori onwards #but thats for another day!! #I only ever wrote Sato's backstory pre meeting all might #yet all I drew as a teen was them as a couple lMAOOO #idk if anyone would wanna read that but honestly iM SURE THE STUDENTS WANT THAT SPICY RELATIONSHIP INFO JHSDJGHAJHJK #my 17-year old self would have been happy in my place ;;3;; !!!!! #i finally got to share his lore!! that was a lot so if you seriously read it all thank you so much aaaaaaaaaaaa #Osamu sato-sensei

[hella1975]

Hella I am quite literally begging you to bequeath upon us the secret behind your ability to do so much shit and also write so much shit. I am over here doing nothing but schoolwork and crying into my coffee and cannot for the life of me write anywhere near as much as you, although I do certainly try. Spare a penny for us beggars or whatever, pls and ty. (Also I just caught up with taob and. I Am Unwell About It.)

sorry for the unwellness im not gonna stop <3

i know i just answered an ask very similar to this but i think this is more about balancing like. a social life and shit as well. i always feel with these advice posts that i sound SO obnoxious so i just want to clarify that im never being like 'this is what i do so you must also do this if you ever want to achieve this thing'. im literally just giving my two cents on a topic i never have ANY idea if im doing things right or not lmao im as lost as you are.

having said that, i actually dont think im as good at balancing my life as it can seem on here? like it has taken me a long long time to get where i am now, and going to uni has given me the independence i needed to sort of smooth it out more, but i spent years where i would go days and days not leaving the house and just writing obsessively, and then out of nowhere i would wake up one morning unable to write a single word, and so instead i would go out a lot and be with my friends. and while it meant i ticked both boxes it also didn't make me happy bc it was very frustrating; i always felt i was sacrificing one part of myself for the other? and i've always been a NIGHTMARE at factoring in schoolwork. it's always writing or social life for me, so bullying myself into not falling off with my education has taken a long time and it's something i still struggle with.

so i've sort of just organised my days better, and it's been surprisingly effective for such a simple solution. i found i write better when i'm actually in an environment where it's 'you are here to write and nothing else' instead of just sitting down whenever i have a minute and churning something out, which is why i like coffee shops so much bc i'm literally stuck there and i HAVE to write. so it's sort of my habit now that morning/lunchtimes are dedicated more to university and my econ friends, evenings are dedicated to me time and writing, and nights are dedicated to my normal uni friend group/going out etc. and it's not set in stone! some days like today i have no plans and im just in my room chilling, and so i'll write for a lot of the day, while other days i wont get a minute to myself and i won't write anything. i also get the MOST annoying writer's block in that my specific brand of it sees me feverishly writing thousands upon thousands of words and then all of a sudden i cannot write anything for WEEKS (i've recently been in a big block with taob where i didn't touch it for an entire MONTH until now, but that was mainly bc i was writing my other story so it could have been worse. i've genuinely had it where my writer's block won't let me pick up any wips at all for months on end and i just have to wait it out).

so basically what im saying is you just have to find what works for you. what are your own writing habits? how can you cater to them more? how can you framework your life a little better without it feeling rigid and militaristic? and ironically after me saying all that, how can you ignore what other writers are doing to better focus on you and what you are like?

#taob does this to me every single chapter istg #i think it's because it's so emotionally draining on me #that's not the right word bc it's not actually a bad thing #emotionally cathartic? #i really enjoy it and how it makes me feel like it's literally my little therapy fic #but as soon as a chapter is out im just SPENT and i need to leave it for a good few weeks #and some times it's a few days sometimes it's MONTHS but regardless i always need a break #it used to really piss me off bc i was like girl just start writing lmao #but since ive just bent around it and moved things to suit it ive been a lot happier #so yeah <3 #i hope any of that was helpful lmao #ask #writing ig

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

May I request Golden Deer x fem!reader headcanons where her upbringing didn't lend itself to her learning feminine hygiene like shaving or knowing how to braid her hair which makes her insecure and the house notices she never wears short clothes even in sweltering heat? Maybe with Claude x reader undertones?

Of course anon! I’d be more than happy to try my best. I certainly hope that I did them justice! Hopefully they aren’t out of character lol. to be completely honest, i feel like i rushed this towards the end lmao

~Admin Hurricane

Claude von Deer

He didn’t understand it, but you intrigued him

You weren’t like Marianne or Hilda, in fact you were far from it

It surprised him nonetheless when you were wearing long sleeves in sweltering weather

He’d asked you countless times why you weren’t wearing something lighter, but you would always shake your head and continue on with training.

It certainly worried him, when you suddenly fainted one day

He insisted that he be the one to carry you back to the infirmary.

Byleth had to force him to go back to class cause all his pacing outside of the infirmary was giving Manuela a headache.

When you finally woke up, he immediately booked it from the GD classroom and was the first one in

That was when you broke down and told him everything

He listened to every word you had to say, not breaking eye contact once please i love him he’s hubby material why isn’t he real sOB

When you finished he was silent before consoling you and pulling into a hug

He told you that it didn’t matter what your body looks like and that all that mattered was your personality and you as person

That caused you to break down more which made him PANIC lmao

Offered to teach you how to braid hair 

Whenever you guys are training or are in battle, he keeps an eye on you to ensure that you don’t faint again cause of heatstroke 

Advises you to drink plenty of water, STAY HYDRATED!

Ohoho Byleth the matchmaker caught on, and immediately paired the two of you together 

Whenever you’re feeling down cause you don’t seem “feminine enough” or are “too masculine” Claude immediately waves off those bad thoughts

Also to add onto you feeling down, if you were really out of it, he would drag you onto his wyvern and take you out for a ride :))))

Hilda

Hilda squealed when she first saw you, immediately dragging you into her room. 

She tried sprucing you up, but you didn’t really get it as she eagerly showed you different outfits and makeup

She got kinda upset when you stared out the window instead bored out of your mind

Tried to get your attention by waving her hands dramatically in front of you

She was pretty surprised when you opened up to her about why you weren’t interested

From then on Hilda decided to give you some tips on how to do your hair and such

She also gave you advice on clothes to wear, if you were still insecure. Something that won’t cause you to overheat, but is light and long enough to cover up your arms and legs.

Overall she was pretty open as soon as she learned about your circumstances and very willing to help.

Lorenz 

Off topic but Lorenz please change your goddamn pre time skip hairstyle

To be frank, the two of you didn’t get along that well

Why do I say that? Well you didn’t like his womanizing attitude towards other girls and felt that he was too stuck up for his own good

He thought you were too masculine and brutish for your own good and tried educating you which annoyed you to no ends.

Finally one day, when you couldn’t take his pestering anymore you just snapped

He stood there in shock, completely unsure of what to say

From then on he was more aware of what he said to you cause he was worried that what he would say would wound your pride again

Keeps an eye on you because he’s “such a gentleman” hey, his words not mine.

Raphael

Sorry bby, I love you Raph, but he’s a little bit dense 

Doesn’t notice your discomfort at first

Takes you awhile to open up but once you get to know him, he’s more than willing to listen

Being a big bro, he does his best to comfort you and encourage you saying that it doesn’t matter how you act he’s still rooting for you 🥺 BAHA PLEASE I LOVE THIS BIG TEDDY BEAR

Encourages you to wear whatever you like and be proud of yourself 

10/10 wholesome relationship

Bonus: if you still don’t know how to braid your hair, he’ll help do it for you cause he’s had plenty of practice with his younger sis 

Ignatz 

I’d like to think that he’s pretty sensitive and noticed right away

He asked you about why you were constantly wearing long sleeves

At first you weren’t that willing to open up, opting to change the subject and move on

However, as you came to know him more and discovered that his intentions were indeed genuine, you decided to tell him

He was rather surprised at first because he saw nothing wrong with you 

He told you to just continue being yourself and that everyone has flaws

You broke down crying and poor iggy panicked

You eventually stopped crying and thanked him

Since you shared your insecurities with him, he shared his secret hobby and love for painting and you encouraged him to pursue his artistic dreams rather than becoming a knight

Lysithea

She has many secrets herself but she isn’t very sensitive to how others are if you’ve seen her support with Marianne I think you know at first

Once you spend more time with her she notices how you avoid talking much about yourself and your upbringing

Not wanting to pry, she left you alone

Once you got to know her better, you slowly opened up about how you felt and your insecurities

And to your surprise, she listened

She kinda just sat off on the side patting your side unsure of what to say

Since you opened up to her, once you got to know her better, she found that she could trust you and told you abt her secret obviously i'm not gonna say it cause spoilers :)

Marianne

You’re insecure? She’s insecure? HOORAY YOU’RE NOW FRIENDS

Whenever the two of you hang out it’s literally just:

“....”

“.....”

“Um…”

Yeah...it's a little hard to strike up a conversation with Marianne at first

She was fairly curious about why you constantly wore long sleeves tho

"Um...y/n not to be rude, but why do you wear long sleeves? Aren't you hot, i-im sorry if I've overstepped, don't mind me…" 

But the two of you had grown close so naturally also being insecure you told her about your worries

Marianne didn't rlly know what to tell you at first and went all "oH iM soRRy you sHoULdNt bE taLkiNg tO mE bEcaUsE i bRiNg bAd LuCk"

Leonie

In a sense Leonie could relate to you

She told you to mmmm block out the haters and just be yourself

You gained a confidence boost from her cause she was encouraging and told you to just stay true to yourself.

She truly helped you get your walls down and let you know that its okay

Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist :)

If you wanna request something, don’t be afraid to send something my way! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

#fe3h #fe3h x reader #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem three houses x reader #claude #claude fire emblem #claude fe3h #claude von riegan x reader #claude von riegan #hilda fe3h #lorenz fe3h #raphael fe3h #ignatz fe3h #lysithea fe3h #marianne fe3h #leonie fe3h #sorry this was rushed forgive me :(

[uncanny-tranny]

any advice on how to come out as transmasc to transphobic parents? my mom is accepting of gay and bi people, don’t know about my dad. after many years they accepted the fact that im ‘a tomboy’ and dont care much if i cut my hair short or wear clothes considered more ‘for men’ and im wondering if theres any ways i could try to educate them on this topic and get them to be a little more accepting (kinda harder since our culture is only just starting to be a little more open to queer identities or even just gnc men and women).

I definitely encourage you to consider the possibilities of coming out. I know it shouldn't happen, but there are parents who will absolutely not take it well, and I always worry about those put in that position because some parents will retaliate. If you're worried about that and you rely on your parents in a noticeable way, I'd encourage you to potentially hold off until you can reasonably rely on yourself if need be (such as with transportation, shelter, food, what have you). This is an unfortunate reality for many, and I absolutely would not blame you if you decide to do this.

If you think you're ready to come out, though, I think being open about how you feel can be helpful. When I came out to my dad, i made it a point to emphasize how I felt dissatisfied with being forced into being cis, and that I felt happy and liberated when I could just be. It took time to truly understand, but I think that as I was more open, he understood. I tried to really make a point that I was so much happier and more at peace being myself than what he thought I was. I think a lot of parents do wish their child happiness, and some are rather... ignorant if their child's happiness comes from something they don't understand.

I also used a lot of comparisons, as well. Things like, "you know how [this] makes you happy? That sort of happiness is how I feel when [something related to being trans]!" When somebody first learns about trans people, they might need some way of connecting it to their own lives, especially because they usually don't have a frame of reference for a lot of trans topics (though I do believe that cis people actually understand trans experience a lot more than they think they do). Simplifying language and taking the time to connect concepts to things they readily understand can be helpful. Diagrams, or even articles can also be useful, because it serves as a reference and a refresher if somebody forgets a particular word or phrase, or what have you!

Whatever you decide is right, though. You know your situation best, and I want to honour that. This is what I did, and I think when I came out and expressed where my happiness (and likewise my distress) came from, it helped my dad understand, because he simply doesn't have a good way of understanding on his own. You deserve happiness, and you're the person who dictates what makes you happy and how you can achieve happiness.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i hope this all made sense i feel like this is all jumbled up #if you need me to clarify anything i am more than willing to! i have Issues with wording apparently haha

[dreamteamfanblog]

You guys might disagree with me, but I fully believe Dream’s apology was genuine.

I mean, for starters, the fact that he apologized in the first place is proof he was actually sorry. Because the truth is, this whole situation wouldn’t have had a very big impact on his career even if he dug his heels in and insisted he was in the right. All his friends would have kept on supporting him, maybe even would have told him he was right. He wouldn’t have lost many subs over the whole situation. Overall Dream would have been mostly fine if he let the whole thing just blow over. But he didn’t. Dream came out and apologized for what he did even when his reputation wouldn’t have suffered to massively otherwise. In fact, by apologizing on twitch he was probably bringing more attention to the situation than it would have gotten if it had just stayed on twitter in the first place. I mean, even throughout the stream, the chat was spammed with nothing but support. People saying Dream was right or that twitter is just toxic, etc, etc. So yeah, the fact that Dream felt the need to apologize for his actions even when he wasn’t technically required to? It shows that he does know he was in the wrong.

Not only that, but he didn’t allow dono’s. Which is honestly more than I can say for a lot of Youtubers during their own apology videos. You see Youtubers and streamers constantly monetizing apologies. Dream could have monetized the whole stream, got a little out of it. But he didn’t, and that reads as very respectful to me.

Starting from the beginning of his explanation, I see a lot of people who ‘aren’t buying’ the idea that the war cry was a Spongebob reference. Which...I don’t really understand. I mean, to be honest, there’s no reason not to think the original incident was just a mistake and nothing more. He was referencing a scene from a dumb kids cartoon. The show was wrong for including the ‘war cry’, Dream was not originally wrong for not realizing. Just the other day a friend of mine did the same thing, as a reference to Spongebob. So I honestly don’t get where the idea comes from that Dream’s story isn’t believable? Especially since, if he knew the questionable story behind the whole thing, why would he have done the ‘war cry’ on stream?

Secondly, a lot of people aren’t entirely happy that Dream cited death threats and doxxing as the cause of his angry tweets. I understand how it could be seen as shifting blame. But it wasn’t. Honestly, if Dream hadn’t explained that he was reacting to threatening messages and not polite explanations when he made that tweet, people would be demanding to know why he reacted so violently to polite criticism. It was important to know what exactly triggered that reaction from him. And he didn’t waste much time on that detail. Sure, Dream mentioned it, but the brief mentions of the awful messages he was getting were sandwitched by apologies for saying something offensive and for blowing up over twitter. Legitimate, genuine apologies where he admitted he was wrong and that he shouldn’t have done what he did. Every time Dream pushed any blame onto hate messages, he pulled it right back onto himself not long after. It wasn’t an excuse for his actions, it was an explanation for his actions. Dream wasn’t trying to absolve himself of any wrongdoing, he never tried to insinuate that it wasn’t really his fault. Telling us why he did something is fine during an apology as long as it doesn’t turn into telling us that he was right for what he did. Which it didn’t.

Then there’s the question of weather it takes away from his apology that he moved on to a different subject so quick and cracked some jokes here and there. Now, I don’t actually think this was in good taste. I feel like he should have ended the stream after the apology and made a new one if he wanted to do something more lighthearted after. However I don’t think his apology is any less genuine for it. Dream seems like the kind of person who doesn’t like to be vulnerable. He keeps most of his personal information private, rarely discusses anything serious, and didn’t even show his own best friend what he looks like until four years into their friendship. Dream clearly doesn’t like to put everything out there. So of course, discussing such a serious issue? It must have been...difficult to say the least. And some people cope with being uncomfortable with comedy. It’s not exactly a good or healthy coping mechanism, especially when you’re offering somebody an apology. Because it can make you seem less genuine. But having that negative coping mechanism doesn’t actually mean you didn’t care or weren’t genuine, it just means you’re uncomfortable being open and vulnerable. So yes, maybe he should have put more focus onto the apology. Maybe he should have made his feelings clearer. But he managed to push aside his discomfort for long enough to get the point across and I can respect that much. Because despite the more lighthearted behavior that popped up every once in a while, he was obviously guilty and kinda nervous, and that made it so obvious that he wasn’t lying when he said he was sorry.

Then there’s the content of his actual apology itself. First off he specified what he did and why he reacted so rudely on twitter, which I already talked about earlier. “I lash out, and that’s what I probably shouldn’t do” he continues. “My first reaction is to attack back, and then I step back and realize i’m being harsh. That’s something i’ve always done. So i’m sorry regarding that. I did not mean to offend anybody”. And honestly, that’s something that I understand. I think it’s natural for a lot of people to go on the offensive when they’re faced with any level of hate. It’s a completely understandable reaction. However, that doesn’t make it an okay reaction. And I think, had Dream refused to recognize that he was in the wrong for lashing out, his apology would be harder for me to side with him on. However he didn’t do that. Despite the reasons Dream gave for why he did and said what he did and said, he still admitted, plain and simple, that he shouldn’t have done it. That he was the one who was wrong. That he’s sorry. And that’s how you know he wasn’t using his explanation as an excuse. Because he was still willing to admit that ultimately it was him who was wrong. “Obviously I don’t mean that towards people who are genuinely just trying to help people that are oppressed, or help people that are actually upset- that are mad about something that i’ve said or done- so i’m genuinely sorry for saying that, I was being an asshole, and I do that sometimes, and I have to learn from that and try not to.” Multiple times, Dream acknowledges why he said what he did. That it was his initial defensive reaction when people were threatening to come to his house (shortly after he was doxxed), and his initial defensive reaction was wrong. He knows it was wrong and he wants to learn to stop. Maybe he could have worded his apology better, maybe he could have scripted it beforehand, maybe he could have dragged it out and pulled out the fake tears. Dream probably could have done a lot of things to make the apology more sympathetic or more likely to be accepted. But overall, even with the stammering and occasional poor wording he used, you can tell that Dream is trying his best and is legitimately apologetic. “i dont want people to be afraid of calling me out for being an ass. i’m sure i made the person who made that original thread feel invalidated by saying the things i said, but i wasn’t trying to, i was just getting harassed by people that weren’t that person. that person had completely good intentions by making the original thread about native americans and they had really good intentions to make sure that their culture wasn’t being appropriated and that their culture doesn’t disappear, and that is 100% good. and theyre a good person for doing that. i wasn’t saying ‘f off’ to them.i want my content to be a safe space. i hope i can learn and reflect. im not perfect, i can always learn and be a better person, and i will try.“ he says later on.

I do get the feeling that Dream isn’t completely educated on the topic at hand. Obviously. He’s from a very conservative state where he won’t have been taught all these things (I sure wasn’t where I live). He doesn’t completely know what he’s doing when it comes to how to handle minorities, but I really, truly think he’s working hard to figure it out. He’s trying his best and I can’t help being a little proud of him for that because I remember when I was in the same position he was, with some kinda gross views on things and not much clue how to change that. But I tried, and I like to think I got a lot better, and I know he can too. It seems like he wants to.

No Native Americans have any obligation to accept his apology. What he did was offensive and ignorant and if you were hurt by his actions then there’s no reason you should have to just get over it. I will never try to force anyone to accept an apology that they don’t want to accept. And it’s not my place to accept that apology for you. However, I feel like I can safely say, as someone who’s done similarly dumb things to him years ago and who grew up in an environment similar to the one in the state he lives, that I wholeheartedly believe he was being genuine, for whatever that’s worth.

#dreamwastaken #dream team #mcyt

[spirits-child]

Lucid dreaming

Yes the image doesn’t relate to the topic but is my favorite movie so im sorry. Anyways, let’s talk about lucid dreaming!

(Im not a dream witch, actually im educating myself to be one, so if i make an error tell me... and if you are a dream worker feel free to add whatever you feel like!)

What is lucid dreaming?

Lucid dreaming is being aware that you are in a dream and the ability of controlling it. Can everyone do it? YES! This is an ability you can actually learn to use + probably when you were a kid you did it pretty often! When I was a kid I controlled my dreams and was really good at it.

Now i suck

But that’s not the point.

How do i lucid dream?

There are hundreds of guides of lucid dreaming saying that THIS is the correct way and nah, there’s not correct way... Lucid dreaming is unique for everyone and yes, maybe some techniques will not work with you, but others will!

First of all, if you are negative towards lucid dreaming you will probably can’t and frustrate yourself. Just say that you are going to lucid dream because 1. is not hard at all 2. is cool, be positive darling be positive. 

Now reality checks, try to be aware that you’re awake, stick your finger to your palm (in dreams its not gonna look like that)

Now, how do you know you’re in a lucid dream? Easy, is like intuition. You’ll just know darling, if you’re a witch and ask the Earth if you can take something you just know if yes or no, same here.

You’re there, now what do you? Dream Stabilization. This is basically learning how to maintain lucid without waking up!

What makes a dream unstable?

Losing focus, but how do you do that? A lot of emotions, you need to stay neutral because if not you’re gonna wake up. Also failing to engage with the nature of the dream will make you wake up, just stay calm and try to not be alarmed by the weird thing you may see. 

What happens if it goes black?

Sometimes your dream just may go black and thats a bummer, but stay calm, just try to remember the last scene you saw and it will probably come back.

Last tip

If i was you, I would start a dream journal. What is the point of lucid dreaming if in two days are you gonna forget it? Idk mate, dream journals are important for dream working!

Bonus: if you’re a witch, how does this help me?

Well, I mainly lucid dream for fun but my witch ass uses it to practice spells xd. Basically there you can control any shit you need so if you wanna see how a jar spell would look like... lucid dreaming? Is also fun and i also use it to practice a lot before astral projection that is not that easy xd. If you’re a closeted witch it also helps a lot, no one will know if you don’t tell them.

Okay that was basically it huhu, if you have questions ask/dm are always open! Happy dreaming kids :D

#lucid dream #lucid dreaming #lucid dreaming tips #start lucid dreaming #lucid dreamers #dream witch #dream work #mind #teen witch #witchblr #baby witch #witchcraft #beginner witch #astral travel #astral projection #astrology witchcraft #dreams #hellenic pagan #pagan #written by me (roy)

[smalltragedy]

* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty-one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to oo-de-lally by roger miller like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hiii im back ... tentatively .. looks at u all ominously

CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.

mini playlist.

oo-de-lally / roger miller, wonderfully bizarre / bendigo fletcher, dust in your pocket / glass animals, gecgecgec / 100 gecs, nantes / beirut, cherry-coloured funk / cocteau twins, not allowed / tv girl, space song / beach house, dog food / 100 gecs.

statistics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

birthday: april 20th, 2000.

zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.

temperament: improvisor / phlegmatic.

label: the halycon.

sexuality: demisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //

death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet.

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.

currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).

has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.

wanted plots.

speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.

hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.

bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.

n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv.

#irvingintro #cancer tw #death tw #decay tw #maggots tw #dissociation tw #depersonalization tw #derealization tw #trauma tw #:D

[philomenafm]

(NATALIA DYER, DEMI GIRL) - Have you seen PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL? PHILLY is in HER/THEIR SOPHOMORE year. The WILDLIFE SCIENCE MAJOR is 20 years old & is a TAURUS. People say SHE/THEY are WHIMSICAL, PATIENT, APATHETIC and UNPREDICTABLE. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE CONCEALED MURDEROUS EVIDENCE  (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

ive done sm switches bt. she is the one. she is the one i love. trust me. ples. this is an old intro n im frankly. too lazy 2 read it bt. i love her a lot shes very good please like her

TW CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. DISSOCIATION ), DEATH, DECAY, MAGGOTS.

aesthetic.

wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, dancing naked in the woods with nothing but fire to light your way, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers, fungi and feeling one with them, lying down and decomposing, they’ll find us in a week. they’ll find us in a week.

basics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, etc.

b.o.d. - april 20th, 2000

label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.

height: 5′4″

hometown: woodside, ca

sexuality: demisexual

pinterest ( & her family pinterest b/c they’re my most developed family uwu)

stats

favorite song: wonderfully bizarre, bendigo fletcher / we can be defined by the things we want / i’ll be a life full of free haircuts from the one that i love / we’ll collect fallen out teeth in a candy jar / mice for the backyard peregrine falcon reservation.

background.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long.

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.

there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot.

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

three years later and her parents want philly to have a higher education - desperate for it, really - worried for her future. it’s a battle that she loses, getting her ged and applying to a local college in florida in shameful compliance.

they’re there for a year until philly gets (expectantly) expelled from the community college & the two of them are banned from the town they’d residing in up until that point. they don’t talk about it - but boy, was it one hell of a time.

they found refuge in preaker, a town that seemed to suit them well - it suited elektra’s desire to travel up and down the east coast, and it intrigued philomena enough to the point of her being content with staying. soon after, philly officially transferred to yates for her freshmen spring term & theyve been here since.

(whenever anna brings cillian uh. he’s in here too he’s been traveling w them fr like 3ish years. i just cannot rewrite atm KDSGLSDKLGKFGHLKSL bt hes here. n hes sexy. n we love him. bro3tp)

OH. hey yeah the secret. errmm. tht’s on cillian. philly just hid the evidence. no they didnt kill someone yes they did no they did not <3 yes

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon (& so does leo fowler eyes emoji)

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in preaker / yates - would hate to be forced out by mobs with torches and pitchforks

currently living in calloway while elektra stays in their van, florence - sometimes philly stays there during the weekends.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. edit: her first & only kisses hv been w leo fowler. this is important

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her. she knows to respect nature. exudes natural trust energy <3 dont know wht tht means but

the trust expands to animals as well, she has a certain knack for getting them to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay. edit: she hs a tabby cat named pail, now. named in honor of her mother, bucket.

leaves her window in calloway wide open because of this, because her window is conveniently right besides a tree with sturdy branches. good for animal smuggling, sneaking in and out, hiding, etc. etc. world is her oyster.

though her room in calloway is ??? frankly a mess ??? already ??? usually keeps most of her possessions in her memory box but she’s also turned her room into a mini labyrinth of knick-knacks. very cozy, but very nest-like. think of howl’s room from howl’s moving castle.

wanted connections.

how did you get in here ;; someone whose room she perhaps crashed at late at night, mysteriously. she refuses to explain where she’s come from. she’s gone before you wake. they could literally not know her at all she’s just sleeping halfway under their bed like <3 thank you <3

ma’am this is a wendys ;;  someone who sees her constantly <3 doing outlandish shit <3 bc lets b real. shes weird. shes a weirdo. why do u think she wears the same hat everyday. (she doesnt wear hats often) anyways. they probably dnt even like her? just think shes very strange?

im literally going to dissect you ;;  someone who. wants to figure out philly. pick at her brain. wear her shoes. kind of in the same category of above in this general like. ur fkn weird. bt they wna figure out why <3 they wna play therapist <3 jokes on u she hates therapists

liddle thief in the night ;; someone who has caught her stealing. or dining n dashing. either/or. perhaps both. she steals a lot :/

oh like. friends n stuff ;; of any closeness. ppl she talks 2 conspiracies with, ppl she goes on late night walks with, ppl she explores with, ppl she steals with, ppl she smokes with, etc. etc. ppl who bring her out to parties cos they like her funky little ways when she gets drunk n tries to climb atop everything <3 

thts nice. anyways ;; this is fr like. literally anything unrequited. philly doesnt like <3 a lot of ppl <3 In That Way. so its basically just. ur muse thinks shes very neat n she thinks ur muse is very neat bt platonically. she doesnt do hookups or anything n if she does i tend 2 like. run purely based off of chemistry even with. most of her connections in general.

uuhh. anything ;; HLKDGKSDLKGHLKSFDSHGKFD i nvr rly hv a lot of connections up fr philly bc shes like. a very unpredictable muse n i think its usually better to just. throw her in! n see wht happens! we cn still plot obv n come up w some fun things bt fr the most part shes very organic

#yatesintro #cancer tw #trauma tw #death tw #dissociation tw #maggots tw #murder mention

[taikanyohou]

hey faiza!!! i hope you've been having a good day so far 💕 i was scrolling through your replies tag (which i do every other week when i have free time bc you have a beautiful way with words and it helps put my mind at ease for a while) and i thought it was already past the time where i come here and express my gratitude to you (which i tried doing once before but i felt awkward and didn't want to be a nuisance (haha get it?)). ever since i began following, i've learned so so SO much. not only +

+ about the islam and all desi matters (that i had so little knowledge about, shame on me! it's a beautiful culture and i'm so glad i'm able to see a slice of and learn about it through your blog!!), but also about so many other things, whether it be lgbtqia+ topics, just perks of life and even how to be more conscious and educated about the things and pieces of media i consume. i'm just a teenager u kno, whereas you are already a grown woman, so i couldn't possibly compare us as equal, as you certainly have more life experiences and knowledge than i do, and we come from drastically different places; my view of the world is still so limited to my surroundings and where i come from, but it's within the internet that i find a place to learn more about others and make that view of the world be wider, richer and more mindful. god i feel like im derailing, sorry shdhajd, but my point is: i didn't expect to be able to learn so much when i began watching bls again this year, i thought i would watch the shows, follow some blogs for pretty gifs, and that's all. but i was wrong, because tumblr gave me the opportunity to meet and befriend so many incredible people and i was so lucky that you were one of them. i've said this before but, my tumblr experience is so much better whenever i see you on my dash talking about whatever it is, and i look up to you so so so much. i'm not a religious person but the way you talk about the islam, the Qur'an or Allah makes me feel so emotional and it's beautiful to see this deep and passionate connection you have with this religion. and just how incredibly articulated you are when talking about any topic, it always makes me stop scrolling and read all the things you write. i adore reading your thoughts, your opinions and your take on things because they always come from a place of reflection, appreciation and respect, and i admire that a lot. you have such a wonderful and kind soul, it's so inspiring to me to see how you always try to be positive, optimistic and respectful no matter what is in front of you. of course, we don't //really// know each other that well, but the little of you that you pour out and show us is already so beautiful and welcoming 💓 i'm gonna stop now i'm sorry that this is so long goddd i just.... i wanted to thank you for all that you do for those who follow you and how impactful your presence on my tumblr experience has been. (i swear to you, when you followed me back on this blog before i made the sideblog, i legit freaked out lmao my mind was "WHAT??? SHE, WHO'S SO CLEVER AND AMAZING AND TALENTED, JUST FOLLOWED ME? WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER?? SJDHSJSJ WHAT" and tbh i still don't know What made you want to be mutuals but i'm glad for whatever it was 💞) i hope all the parts go and im so sorry it's so long shdnksjdj

dawn!!! hello my sunshine!!!!!!!!! i hope you've had a lovely week, and i hope this weekend you take some time off and relax! i hope you're doing well!!!

oh my goodness me i- what have i done to deserve this I DO NOT DESERVE this. thank you so so much for just. being so loving and you are so so wise, i READ your tags, i READ your posts. and i think, despite however old or young people are, there's something to learn from everyone. there's something to appreciate and pick up on and implement and become more aware of and about from everyone's story of life. so don't ever think you may not have much to offer!

this year's been hard. a lot has happened. and i think everything has been a lesson to learn from, and for us to really truly understand what it is that really matters the most to us, and to show gratitude for what we have, all the blessings we have. and its hard to stay positive all the time, and thats okay. sometimes, our sadness needs room and space also where its telling us to just ... take a moment and reflect on why the sadness is there. but i've become so .... adamant that i choose to go back and think positively again. bc although it feels like we've been stripped away from being physically social, i've seen how much goodness and humanity there is still left within people on here, within all my mutuals - and i realised that, as long as there is goodness in this world, there's no reason to give up on hope. people together can make so many things happen.

and part of, i feel, what people should be proud of, is being proud of who they are. not in the arrogant sense, but in terms of WHO you are. what makes you, you. and now more than ever we need to know about one another. about different backgrounds and cultures and religions and beliefs etc. we can become ambassadors of those things, and being an authentic source of knowledge for people. of course, not everyone may like that, but thats okay. knowledge is power and there's so much knowledge out there for us to dip into. by learning from another, we can truly enrich ourselves, find out about commonalities and similarities and differences and contrasts. and ultimately realise that every single one of us has the right to life and the right to live. we can share our sorrow and pain, and also share our moments of joy and happiness too. we may not all agree on the same thing, but that should not sway us from wanting to befriend someone and missing out on an opportunity to get to know someone, just because you may not agree on one thing. there could be 10 things you do agree on vs that 1 that you dont. and that doesnt stop you from being any less you, nor them being any less them. we all deserve respect and kindness, despite our similarities and despite our differences from one place, culture, religion or belief, to the next.

there is just. there is so much good in this world, in nature, in people. we need to celebrate that. we need to appreciate goodness and just. be thankful for everything we have, and anything we get on top of what we have, is a blessing.

thank you so so so much!!! i love youuuuu!!!! 🧡🧡🧡

#faiza answers #DAWN THIS MESSAGE EYE- 🧡🧡🧡😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚