#depersonalization tw

[teenbeachmovie3]

I’M NOT ENTIRELY HERE

boygenius // kaye donachie // holly warburton // virginia woolf // jovialtorchlight // richard ayoade // anne sexton

#depersonalization #depersonalisation tw #depersonalization tw #derealistion #derealisation tw #boygenius #kaye donachie #holly warburton #virginia woolf #jovialtorchlight #richard ayoade #anne sexton #parallels #web weaving #i do not feel good rn!!!! #very bad in fact gonna cry in a min #mine

[oneweirdbookaddict]

Wumptober day three!

I torture Four thats it thats the fic

996 words

Warnings for depersonalization? But not really? If anyone wants any just let me know. Same for tags!

~~~~

He- they? He- wakes up alone. In silence. 

Absolute silence. He hears… nothing. Not the ever present voices in his head, no people outside… wherever he is, a damp, cold, dark room… nothing. 

He stands, eyes wide, unable to see anything. 

“He- hello?” 

What… what happened to me? Where am I? Why is it… quiet? 

He swallows. Ignores the shakiness he feels, the anxiousness he can’t shake. 

One hand in front of him, the other on the wall next to him, he takes a slow lap around the room. Feels nothing but a jagged, rough wall. 

He scuffs his foot on the floor- it makes no noise. 

His eyes widen, doing it again, again, again- 

No sound. 

Breaths stuttering, he slowly finds a corner and sinks down against it. “H- h- hey. Ok. This… it’s ok. It’s ok. It’s just… quiet. Yeah. You’re not injured, nothing’s wrong… it’s just… quiet.” 

The silence is deafening. 

“Hello?” He whispers, desperate for something from his head. The voices. 

Silence. 

Something’s wrong. 

His chest tightens, throat closing, eyes widening. He reaches a hand back and grabs his hair, his hand shaking. 

“Guys.” 

It’s too quiet. 

It’s way, way too quiet. 

He can’t take it. 

“Stop. Stop that. I don’t… what’s happening? What’s going on? What’s happening to me?!” 

No response. Nothing. It’s… silent. 

Silent. 

Deafeningly silent. 

Two years. Two years since the adventure that split him, two years his head has been loud and he hasn’t been alone in two years and now, inexplicably, it was silent. 

“Stop.” He whispers. Pleads. He’s not sure what he’s doing. “Make it stop. I don’t want this. It’s too quiet. It’s too quiet. Stop. Make it stop. Please.” 

Nothing. 

His breaths ache in his throat, chest heaving, gasping frantically. The silence… is too loud. 

That doesn’t even make sense. 

“Stop stop stop stop stop stop.” He whispers, hands moving over his ears. 

He gets no response, no answer, no relief. 

He moves to his knees, elbows on the ground in front of him, still covering his ears. And he screams. 

Screams until his throat aches and his chest hurts and he wants anything, anything, to relieve him from this awful silence but he doesn’t get anything. 

And he just keeps screaming.

~~~~

Four sits with a blanket around his shoulders, shivering. 

It’d been a week since they’d found him. 

It’d been a week since Four’s said anything. 

A week since Four’s… done… anything. 

He sits. Stares of into space. Kind of reacts if someone tries to get his attention. 

“Four?” Wars says softly, now. 

A slow blink. 

“Hey… Four, can you… hear me?” 

Another blink. 

A shiver. 

Wars slowly puts another blanket around the smith. 

Solid black eyes flick to Wars. 

Four’s eyes had been a solid, daunting black. His irises, usually a light grey, had just… at some point during his captivity, shifted to a inky, soulless black.

He also absolutely despised the quiet. 

They’d learned that the hard way. 

When they’d found Four, they’d had to knock him out to get him out of that room. Four fought tooth and nail, screaming the entire time, nearly breaking Wild’s nose. 

He’d woken up a few hours later. Shifted, eyes snapping wide open, in the middle of the night. And screamed. And screamed. And screamed. 

Only calmed when Twi sat next to him, talking softly. 

Since then, someone was constantly talking to the smith. Even if he’d never respond, never really seemed to listen to the words. Just… couldn’t do the silence. 

Whoever was on watch was also tasked with talking. Four rarely slept anymore. 

Time’s taken to playing his ocarina, which actually seemed to help Four a lot. 

At least… Got Four’s attention. The smith had slowly turned to Time, eyes watching him while he played. Until he’d slowly drifted off to sleep. 

“Hey, bud… you doing ok?” Wars tries. 

No response 

Four’s eyes drift away, back to the fire. And just stares. 

He doesn’t look back at Wars. Not for the whole time Wars tries to talk to him. 

Camp is quiet tonight. They’re all restless- not moving for a week has gotten under their skin. But Time doesn’t have them continue. “Not with Four… like this,” he says whenever someone asks. 

Wars gives up, sighing and leaning back on his elbows. 

They all glance around at each other. Silence falls over them. 

Four’s breaths quicken. Panic fill those black eyes. A soft whimper, then another. 

“Shh… it’s ok. You’re ok. You’re not in danger.” Sky says softly, moving to the smith. 

Trembling. 

“It’s alright.” Sky repeats, putting a cautious hand on Four’s shoulder. “You’re safe. Nothing will hurt you here.”

The skyloftian pulls out a harp, strumming it softly. 

The smith’s eyes slowly drift to Sky. Watching. 

Slowly relaxes, eyes fixed on the knight. 

Twi slowly sits on Four’s other side, getting the younger to lean on him. 

Shifts the blankets to keep them around the smithy, arm wrapping gently around him as Four watches Sky play. 

Until black eyes droop, slowly drifting shut, his breathing slowly evening out and slowing down. 

“Ok. Does anyone have any idea what’s going on with him?” Wars says quietly, standing and glancing around at them all. 

“Does it have something to do with his sword?” Wild asks, and gets a few looks. 

The champion hesitates, then- “He… can do something with the sword. It’s… I don’t really know how it works or how it affects him, but… we don’t have it. We couldn’t find it. And it does something to him- I think… well, maybe we need to find it.” 

“What does it do?” Twi asks, glancing over to the champion. 

Wild hesitates again. “It… well… splits him. Into different parts of himself. That sounds weird… but he’s… shown me. Four different parts, four different…” 

“So if these parts are… hmm.” Legend mumbles, trailing off. 

Then looks up at them, noticing them all coming to the same conclusion. 

“We need to find that sword.” 

~~~~

#whumptober2023 #no. 3 #solitary confinement #make it stop #linked universe #depersonalization tw #linked universe four #four lu #lu four #four linked universe #linkeduniverse #four my beloved

[doomsdayradio]

dissociation is so funny. like girl im not even real

#unreality tw #depersonalization tw #depersonalization #dissoication #did #did system #dissoicative identity disorder #actually dissociative #words words words !! #❓

[cheesecake-the-chicken]

any advice for being therian with dissociation/depersonalization?

so i realized very recently that i'm otherkin and therian through an IRL friend, and it's my understanding that many therians have "phantom limbs". i think it's really cool and i really want to identify more with it and my animal identity but i'm really worried it'll make my dissociation worse. i have PTSD and i already struggle with perceiving my body as non-human (in a bad way), and i also happen to have non-wing related psychosomatic pain ^^'

i know it's different for everyone, but personally i do want to identify at least partially as human someday for my health. i'm just hoping to get some advice on how to go about therianthropy in a healthy way, so my DMs are open! this community seems really awesome and accepting and i really hope to participate :3

#discourse dni #ptsd tw #trauma tw #dissociation tw #depersonalization tw #therian #otherkin #alterhuman #nonhuman #otherkinity #therianthropy #birdkin #aviankin #bird therian

[scatterpatter]

Oh hey we're alive don't mind us

Plurality Comic under the cut! TW: Depersonalization, panic attacks, splitting, vague allusions to trauma, existentialism, and just a long sketch comic KJBSDKDLJFBLJSDFN

#sorry for the radio silence this Happens Soemtimes #my art #doodles #dissociation tw #depersonalization tw #uhhh do i need to tag everything? theres a content warning on the post itself... #CM.txt #idk send an ask if anyone needs this post tagged with anything #therapy today will be interesting lollll #dw we're okay! just sort of a sketch diary? i guess?

[gloryseized]

hc;; Link doesn't see his body as his own.

This basically starts when he learns about his fate as the hero, but especially post-resurrection in BotW and post OoT/MM, Link doesn't feel like he is a part of his own body. The scars don't belong to him and he doesn't really remember the stories of his scars. His body is a tool and a weapon that has been used to bring down Ganon/Ganondorf/Calamity so that even his own body doesn't belong to him any more. He's not particularly bashful of his body and he wears clothes more because of necessity rather than modesty.

This is particularly exaggerated in BotW after the resurrection because he doesn't really remember anything about himself. His memories that he does reclaim all involve his connection with Zelda and his destiny to be the Hero. But this means he doesn't remember his childhood, doesn't remember his family--everything else is gone except for who he is as the Hero, which doesn't feel like who he is.

OoT/MM has the longest run of being detached and yet trapped in his own body if/when the skeleton in Twilight is to be believed as being the same OoT!Link

And I interpret all of this as Link's way of coping with the trauma he's all gone through as depersonalization is definitely a trauma response.

#depersonalisation tw #mute courage || link #thus it is written || headcanons. #something i've been noodling on for a bit tbh #trauma tw #depersonalization tw

[klndergarten2002]

at this point my childhood feels like an entirely separate life. the memories feel like scenes out of a movie, it doesn’t feel like they actually happened.

#sorry just needed to vent #depersonalization tw #derealization tw #dpdr tw #unreality

[aliscnxwood]

closed starter - alison & nate ( @natewood​ )

Alison had been extremely anxious since everything went down, between her brother, her best friends, and her cousin being injured, she wasn’t exactly sure how to manage it all, especially when it had been at such a high before. Alison had been barely sleeping, not being able to calm her mind down enough. They were sitting at the counter, their eyes looking at the Quidditch plays they had in front of them to try and distract them, but not really focusing on it. Her mind was running a mile a minute and she felt like she wasn’t her, she felt like she was just looking at a version of her, something that often happened when her anxiety got too much for her, it was a way of protecting herself from all the intense feelings. She didn’t even notice Nate talking to her, until the end of his sentence. She turned. “Sorry, what did you say?” she asked.

#c:nate #depersonalization tw

[un1dentity]

#A STUDY OF DEACON USING SONG LYRICS. 1/?

new person, same old mistakes / mary / under the bridge / things to do / dr. sunshine is dead / time moves slow

#this is a MESS but <3 #STUDY. #depersonalization tw

[stigmvtas]

PHILOMENA BRONTE CARMICHAEL — ABRIDGED.

welcome to marina, PHILOMENA BRONTE CARMICHAEL ( nonbinary, they/them ) ! they are a TWENTY FOUR year old who has lived over on EVERYWHERE for TWO WEEKS and works as a FREELANCER. everyone says they look a lot like NATALIA DYER. what do you think? — JAMES, 24, THEY/THEM, EST.

MENTIONS OF CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION, DEREALIZATION, AND DEATH.

profile.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael.

birthday: april 20th, 1999..

astrology: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.

sexuality: demisexual.

currently listening to: bells ring by mazzy star.

last known location: [[[cannot be found]]]

PINTEREST.

brief history.

born to two eccentric university professors: christopher, teaching 1800s british literature, and imogen, teaching classics. the fourth born out of six - lysander, elektra, juno, and the twins orion and valora.

cancer; as a child philly was diagnosed with ependymoma, a brain tumor; got lucky, and after months to a year of treatment they were in remission, and it never came back.

kind of a haunting, victorian-esque child; very quiet, and rarely spoke. spent most of their time outside, staring at leaves or the sky. her family loved them all the same.

philly idolized their older sister, elektra, especially - always thought she was the coolest person to exist, ever.

idolized her to the point where when elektra, aged 21, wanted to travel to the states in her shitty volkswagon van - philly, aged 15, stowed away in the very back and wasn't found until they were a ferry's ride and several states away from marina.

their parents were reasonably upset but not wanting to stifle their children, wound up accepting the ordeal as long as philly continued school online.

philly and elektra have been traveling together ever since. they rarely return home to marina - and elektra keeps more in touch than philly does; they're just not fussed, knows they'll always be a close family.

they take up odd jobs wherever they go, whether it's selling their handmade wares or faking welding certifications or losing children on a babysitting job or nearly setting fire to a diner's kitchen. they make money to get by - with the help of a five finger discount and the classic dine n dash.

after being wanted criminals in both texas and florida - a long story - philly and elektra brought their good ol van, florence, on the ferry back to marina. florence lasted a good two days before breaking down completely, leaving the two stranded on the island.

facts & temperaments.

has a very quiet, gravelly voice that seems to travel with ease, like a warning from the woods. this is because philly is a chronic smoker.

often underestimated because they look like a lost victorian child with a frail frame and wide, unblinking eyes. never blinks. like ever.

despite often looking expressionless, philly is known to smile on occasion. but they've never laughed or cried in their life.

talks to the trees and the grass and every fungi and bug they come across like they can understand them. talks about a lot of different things, often the mystical. believes in every superstition, and every folklore, and just about any non-harmful conspiracy. the moon IS made of cheese, your honor.

takes luck very seriously and has a few treasured good luck items; the primary one being a pale, yellow ribbon that is usually tied to either them or an article of their clothing.

trauma / depersonalization / derealization / death; experienced an extremely traumatic event with their sister, juno, when they were kids. long story short - they went off a hiking trail, and found a body. this caused philly to develop a combination of depersonalization and derealization disorder, which often mess with their perceivement of reality. everything feels dreamlike, and philly often feels outside of themself.

but anyways! is very deadpan, monotone. talks about the positives the same as the negatives, and usually has a reason behind their every action even if the reason is unknown / unfathomable to others.

they wound up dropping out of high school when they were 17 but they did get a GED. they're smart just so uninterested in school as a concept. thinks it's restrictive and hates feeling trapped or caged in.

apathetic towards most situations and people, but it's not a pessimistic apathetic. philly is just a very detached person, for the most part. there are the occasional exceptions. also loves a good knock-knock joke, or pun, but will still never laugh. just finds them really enjoyable.

keeps a shoebox of memories that are just sentimental bits and bots and other good luck charms.

owns a motorola razr covered in puffy sticker. TEXTS IN ALL CAPS ONLY. emoticons all the way.

always covered in scratches or bruises from their adventures. insomniac usually found walking the night.

style depends on what they've thrifted, patched up, re-donated, etc. always changing, never stagnant. usually wearing loose clothing. usually barefoot (yuck!). makes their own jewelry and other hand-crafts.

mostly just steals from store n dines n dashes but is trying to not get arrested they do not have the bail money rn while florence is getting fixed.

couch-surfing or motel living right now bc they don't want to return to their hillside manor. can usually find their way into a stranger's home for the night, though nothing occurs. sometimes they don't even know they're there!

usually has 3 different wild animals with them at all times. big fan of rats and raccoons. they train them to do fun little tricks and is trying to start a cruelty-free animal circus.

#––– ❛ philomena bronte carmichael 【 they say you look like a believer / about. 】 #marina:intro #cancer tw #trauma tw #depersonalization tw #derealization tw #death tw #this is my longest intro watch kiran's be the shortest bc i am so sleepy

[timechange]

He’s pretty sure he’s going crazy.

Everything’s fine; great, in fact. The McFlys are all sitting around the dinner table, currently covered with bowls of snacks, for their weekly game night. They’re going to watch a movie later. Rented one specially from the video store. 

We always watch a movie, they tell him, you know that, Marty. Are you alright?

No, he’s not. 

Their smiles are too bright, too wide, too fake. Their clothes are too perfect and Linda’s fancy floral perfume is making his head spin.  

It’s wrong, it’s all wrong. 

Marty rattles off some bullshit excuse over the ringing in his ears and gets the hell out. He flattens his back against his bedroom door, breathing hard. After locking it, he dives for the phone, heart trying to make an escape attempt through his chest. 

@doctorbrown ‘s familiar voice makes the teenager slump over in relief, running a hand through his hair. 

“Doc,” Marty breathes, letting his eyes fall shut. “Doc, I’m—“ 

He hears footsteps in the hall, his name said in a sweet tone muffled through the door, and knocking. 

“I, uh, I forgot to give Einstein a bath,” he blurts out, glancing over his shoulder. // starter call! 

#ic. #doctorbrown #verse one. #you're my best friend in the whole space time continuum [doc brown.] #doc & marty tbt. #panic attack tw #dissociation tw #depersonalization tw #anxiety attack tw #food tw #food mention tw #[ooc] one of these days i will make a fluffy starter for these two #[ooc] today is NOT THAT DAY APPARENTLY

[shackld]

sinners that mess with reality / minds are always gonna take longer for chief to warm up to. it's genuinely such a sore spot for chief but this does not mean she treats them any differently than any other sinner, she just has her guard up more and well, she kind of has to. around all of them in fact because as much as she does care for them, being totally at ease would just be fucking stupid. but yeah, chief really doesn't like it when her mind and what she sees is messed with and a LARGE part of this is chameleon's fault but a LARGER part is how i hc with dissocation/derealization-depersonalization and she does not need that extra load on top of it!

#dissocation tw #derealization tw #depersonalization tw #;sir this is my emotional support cringefail gacha game protagonist. (ooc)

[scatterpatter]

In one of those "how much is a NORMAL amount to remember" moods

#my art #doodles #h.txt #dissociation tw #depersonalization tw #ventish #thank u hosty for the art help <3 #im not sure how to tag trauma-related memory issues #dissociative amnesia tw #??? #idfk if thats what it is but ill use the tag to be safe #dont even get me STARTED on childhood memories at least those can be written off as being many years ago XD #anyways if u were my mutual in my fnafblr days and i just fell out of contact sorryyyyy #super down to reconnect with any mutuals tho <3

[selectivechaos]

empty of ‘i’

⚠️⚠️tw: depersonalisation ⚠️⚠️⚠️

therapist had a while back said ‘self emptying’ is true of me. don’t fully understand what it means.

she said it because when she asked me “how would you describe yourself?”. responded: “empty. just a really empty person”.

don’t know how it became like this. maybe just through the years, cumulative effect of emotional pain. don’t think there is one answer.

but now know that it isn’t a problem of trying to find my worth. it is a problem of trying to understand what ‘i’ means. trying to accept that there is an ‘i’. thought this was just because of social anxiety fear of confrontation.

but actually maybe it’s actually because if it did not happen to ‘me’, and if there is no ‘me’ then am not vulnerable. cannot get hurt.

this was a valid fear. there were and are times when it’s unsafe to be self. but the response of becoming empty corrodes your self concept. it hurts you. you end up not being able to say more than a couple of sentences that start with ‘i’.

what do you like? what do you believe in? what do you dislike? what is your story? how has your upbringing influenced your worldview? what emotions do you feel now? what do you want in the future? what would make you happiest if you could do what you liked right now? and most importantly: what words do you want to say?

your words are important. you are deeply and intrinsically important🌹🌹

#depersonalisation tw #depersonalization tw #feel empty #self concept #self worth

[papermccn]

closed event starter for chris !! @devilsmenu

Characters briefly have a moment of extreme self awareness, where for just a second it is as if they see giants in the sky, sitting on laptops and puppeteering their every move.

at the hit of self awareness; it felt a chill down their spine.. but she knew it was better to keep level headed- overreacting wouldn't get them anywhere, "-you know, i really feel like we should be applauding someone.. -doing all this? imagine the special effects and money it takes, bravo." she scoffed; of course deep down- horrified by the realization- but given what she seen back home.. it wasn't nearly bone chilling enough. "-now let's keep moving."

#( sam;replies) #( sam & chris) #hwevent16 #depersonalization tw

[dreamedbeyond]

THE SHADOW.

For those of you who don't know, the 28th century leader of the Suliban Cabal, dubbed 'Future Guy' in fanon, and 'Shadow Boy' by me, had Enterprise been renewed and had they pursued the Temporal Cold War arc (seasons 1 and the first half of 2) instead of the Xindi War arc (the second half of season 2, season 3, and season 4), was going to be revealed to be none other than Archer himself. This has been confirmed by Brannon Braga.

What led Jon to become Shadow!Archer is that the Enterprise went down with all hands and he alone survived. He blames himself, and is all but debilitated by grief. He has lain in wait for centuries, undying, and causes the Temporal Cold War to rewrite that history.

Having sat around and watched the prime timeline (the timeline comprising of the Original Series, the Next Generation / Deep Space 9, Voyager, and culminating in the version of the 31st century Daniels is from), he is incredibly disappointed how things played out, and will stop at nothing to make a better future.

Given the Trek universe and the many reboots / soft reboots / things changing behind the scenes without an in-universe explanation, I reckon that Shadow!Archer has reset the timeline at least three times but it could be a lot more.

The first reset results in the timeline consisting of Discovery, Strange New Worlds, Lower Decks, Picard, and the 'bad future' 32nd century Archer and Daniels go to in "Shockwave."

The second reset results in the AOS timeline.

The third reset results in the 'final' timeline or the 'best' timeline, a timeline where the Xindi War doesn't happen, the Kelvin survives, the Burn doesn't happen, Captain Pike either lives (AOS) or is disabled but lives well (TOS / DIS / SNW), there's no Dominion War, and Voyager doesn't get stranded in the Delta Quadrant.

As a result, Shadow!Jon is ancient, jaded, and ruthless. He does not consider himself to be Captain Jonathan Archer, maintaining that Captain Archer died on the Enterprise with his crew. Though he loves deeply, fiercely, and all-consumingly, he could not care less about time, the universe, or himself. He is incredibly angry, eaten alive by guilt, and feels that what's happened is his fault to the point that he will remake time to his own design. He has nothing to lose, and he both doesn't care at all and cares so much to the point it destroys him. His best ending, he knows, is getting erased from history so that normal!Jon can live his life as he always should have, so if things don't work out this time, that's alright.

He's patient.

He can wait.

#ooc. #headcanon. #i'll stay with you for all of time [the shadow.] #verse two. #first reset. #second reset. #final reset. #[ooc] me holding up the traumatized and terrifying all-powerful centuries old shadow!jon: look at my son. my precious baby boy. #[ooc] also me: can we talk about the temporal cold war please tumblr i've been dying to talk to you about the temporal cold war ALL DAY-- #[ooc] god the fucking MISSED POTENTIAL IT DRIVES ME CRAZY #[ooc] this is why i exist. to wreak havoc on the trek timeline #survivor's guilt tw #depersonalization tw #dissociation tw #ptsd tw #death tw #death mention tw #long post #long post tw