#if ya wanna have a crying session invite me or something | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

2-cute-4-school · 3 years

Text

𝘕𝘊𝘛 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴

requested by the lovely @m4rshm4llow (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

Mark Lee

i think mark is quite good with children too when he’s not frozen in awkwardness

but i wouldn’t trust with him alone with a kid for too long tbh

like i see him as someone who could probably entertain a kid for a couple of hours succesfully but taking care of them?? yeah no (˵¯͒ བ¯͒˵)

so let’s say he had to tag along with you to babysit because he didn’t want to waste any time he could spend with you *let my boy receive his love*

but he’s not thaaaat excited he just hopes that the kid will get K.O.-ed early in the night so he could have some alone time with you( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).... TO CUDDLE ya nasties

so when you arrive at your cousin’s house and you come in

he surely DIDN’T expect a kid to literally throw himself onto you and cling to your legs while chanting your name o(*^▽^*)o

the only way you can get him to detach so you can walk is if you pick him up in your arms

“y/n, who’s he?” mark just stares at the chubby finger pointed at him and produces an *HIGHLY AWKWARD* smile like (*′☉.̫☉)

“oh this is mark, my boyfriend”

*silence* “ew”

now hold on rewind

did a kid just ‘ew’ at mark (｡☉︵ ಠ╬)

and then he had THE AUDACITY to cling to your neck while rambling about his new robot toy and mark had to THIRDWHEEL the entire night

now he’s sure you have superpowers how could you tame that!!??!?! even haechan could be considered mild in comparison to... this ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

he’s pouty the entire evening while you play and take care of the newly spawned devil in town who HOGS your attention the entire time

so when he finally runs out of energy a bit later than mark would have hoped for, he’s quick to envelop you in his arms and drag you into a well deserved cuddle session ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

“what took you so looong?”

“sorry sorry, i had to look under his man for boogeyman”

“pffft i think boogeyman is the one looking under his bed for that kid”

but he does melt when he remembers the way your eyes sparkled as the child giggled excitedly on your lap while imagining himself in the picture too (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

Huang Renjun

renjun as we all know is just a bit short tempered so i’m not sure where he stands in his relationship with kids 눈_눈

but also he brings up his younger cousins quite often and he seems very fond of them whenever he talks about them

so i guess he likes kids but like good kids ya know Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

so let’s say you’re shopping in like one of those bigger supermarkets

and you hear cries

your mother instincts literally GO OFF LIKE CRAZY

renjun doesn’t even have the time to blink before you’re dragging him in the direction of the noise with such precision you might as well have a radar at this point ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

turns out a little girl was lost between the tall aisles

renjun is a lil bewildered cause what is he supposed to do? not like he’s tall enough to see other the aisles in his dreams maybe

but you seem to know EXACTLY what to do as you crouch down in front of the girl and speak to her so gently not even renjun can hear properly

and then as if nothing happened she stops crying

just like that so renjun decides to try his luck too o｜◕ˇ▽ˇ◕｜ツ

“come on, let’s go find mommy and daddy”

and lemme tell ya the little girl sprung into your arms and clung to you with everything she had as she mumbled into your neck

“i only wanna go with miss” (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

his eye twitched a lil ngl （；¬＿¬)

and that’s how you end up taking a stroll to the announcement desk with a whole child gripping onto your hand

renjun would have never imagined his grocery run to turn into this

he only wanted some damn carrots not a frickin child ಠ╭╮ಠ

thankfully it didn’t take long for the parents to run over and thank you for returning their child safely but there was only one problem left

getting her to let go of you

that was a whole ass dramatic goodbye

poor renjun was left exhausted after this he gave up any grocery run he intended to do and dragged you home pronto (ﾉTдT)ﾉ

he admires you so much for how you handled the situation and how you seemed to be so natural and in your element he can only think of how great of a mother you will be in the future with his beside you hopefully

Lee Jeno

one word, his greatest asset: PATIENCE

i see jeno as a man of patience which is more than just helpful when it comes to handling children ❀.(*´◡`*)❀.

he’s also volunteered in all these programs that involved children and he did really well if you ask me soooo he’s a good ally to have (︶.̮︶✽)

and you really REALLY want to volunteer together at one of those like emergency centres for children or something

and who is he to deny his love? he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, you’re too cute in his eyes so he lets you get your way anyway

so before you step inside one of the caretakers gives you some advice

warns you that the new kid, a little girl still in primary school, is still very closed off and wary of everyone

but as you step inside the kids get drawn to you like moths to a flame, swarming around you and asking you questions while dragging you in the living room to play with them

jeno just trails behind, watching the entire commotion with his soft eye smile as he understands (◍•ᴗ•◍)

he knows that you just have a way with people, he’s been in the same position mesmerized by you, it’s one of the reasons he loves you so much and seeing you so purely happy surrounded by children

MELTED HIM ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

eventually you drag him into the happy circle too and he seems to fit in just right by your side with giggling children everywhere around you

he ends up using his muscly arms ᕙ[ ˵ ͡’ ω ͡’ ˵ ]ᕗ as swings

“hey!! i’m stronger than you!!! let’s have a fight!!!!”

you just giggle as you colour some pictures with a few kids but stare at your boyfriend from the corner of your eye

jeno is so simply happy and comfortable he doesn’t even notice when you disappear from the crowd at first

but when he does his eyes search wildly for you like a lost puppy Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;)

but then he spots you

curled up on a small couch in the corner of the room, deep in conversation with the new girl whose eyes seemed just a little brighter as you clutched her hand in yours warmly ｡ﾟ.(*´◡` )

and jeno just realises again

you’re just working your charm once again and once again jeno falls for you for the nth time, deeper than the last time and lighter than the next

Lee Donghyuck

this manchild right here smh ୧༼◔益◔୧ ༽

now don’t get me wrong i’m pretty sure he’s decent at least with children

given he has two younger siblings and he often talks about hanging out with his little brother also have you seen that vid with the little girl?? the was he talked to her ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

buuuut BUT he’s also DYING like a fish out of water without attention

so when he invites you to tag along to his hangout with his lil bro

he didn’t expect TO BE THE ONE THIRDWHEELING!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)

you keep feeding and pampering his brother who basks in your full attention half because he loves it half because he loves the annoyed look on hyuck’s face

“babe i want some kimchi too” (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

“oh!!! sure, i’m sorry for hoarding it all”

and as hyuck awaits with his eyes closed and his mouth open with a pleased smile

you plop a bowl of kimchi in front of him and turn back to his brother as he tugs on the sleeve of your shirt

hyuck, muttering to himself: ‘i should have left you home, you lil brat, both of you traitors!!!!!’ (ノTДT)ノ ┻┻

he pouts and sighs dramatically with crossed arms the entire night while watching you interact oh so sweetly with his little brother

but he can’t deny the warm feeling of fondness swarming is his chest seeing you get along so well with his family and being so genuinely happy when you’re with kids

still complains to you when he gets you alone

“i can’t believe you love my brother more than me!!! ME, YOUR SWEET LOVELY CUTIE BOYFRIEND!!!” ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

“first of all, i wouldn’t stretch it that far-” “how is that stretching-?!??!”

“i’m sorry i’m sorry, my sweet lovely cutie boyfriend, i just missed him, he’s so cute and i haven’t seen him in so long and he seems to grow so fast every time we meet” (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

NOW hyuck is real soft how can he be mad at you when you’re THIS ADORABLE AFSKSGDFSAF-

hyuck just presses a sweet smooch to your temple and mutters

“he only acts that cute with you, he’s a devil at home”

“sheesh, i wonder who he takes after” *pointed look* (￢ε￢　)

Na Jaemin

my man here will most likely compete with YOU for the CHILD’S attention

it’s like GAME OVER for him if a child rejects him ε-(≖д≖﹆)

he’s never gonna get over this betrayal from both sides

so let’s say he takes you with him when he offers to babysit a cousin or neighbour idk you get where i’m getting at

and he’s already ‘play buddies’ with him as jaemin likes to put it (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

and you’re slightly acquitanced with him from a previous visit to jaemin’s house when you coincidentally met

so when jaemin opens the door and announces his presence LOUDLY, the little boy doesn’t waste A SECOND to waddle in the hallway and meet you both ლ(＾ω＾ლ)

and jaemin crouches to meet him midway and-

and he *swooshes* past jaemin and into your open arms while giggling

jaemin, a lonely man in the middle of a hallway: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

the entire day, your boyfriend tries to steal the kid’s attention or bribe him over with sweets or toys

now you’re wondering who the real brat is

is salty about the UTTER rejection but also can’t help but watch you both so fondly with a proud hopefully in future for real fatherly smile (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

“are you practicing, y/n?”

“pardon?”

“practice, are you practicing?”

“for...?” ∑（´△｀○）

“ya know” *wiggles eyebrows* “taking care of our future children”

“learn how to control your own brat at home read jisung first and THEN we can talk, jaemama”

jaemin can’t believe this low blow, how could you after everything he’s done: cooking for you, taking you on bike rides even though he was the one who wanted to, even buying pads!!! or even worse!!!!! STRAWBERRY YOGHURT!!!!!! ∑(ﾟ台ﾟlll

he’s still pouty as you all put on an animation and snuggle a blanket

but then!!!! you fall asleep with the little boy in your embrace

and jaemin!!!!! just!!! CAN’T!!! stay mad!!!!!! cause you’re both just SO absolutely irrevocably CUTE!!!!!! ♡( ૢ⁼̴̤̆ ꇴ ⁼̴̤̆ ૢ)~ෆ♡

so he just HAS TO lay a *meaningful* smooch on your forehead as he sleepily moves closer to you both, one arm wrapping loosely around you while the other caresses the child’s head, lulling the both of them to sleep his protecc instincts kicked in y’all

Zhong Chenle

he has already expressed his wish to have a family someday since he wants to live the same happiness his brother does with his own family

which i think is ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS

and we all know he’s WHIPPED for his nephew ˞♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ)

but unfortunately

that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s good with children yet

let me give you a context over here

so he’s left alone for a short while with his baby nephew which shouldn’t be too bad since technically chenle is an adult at least legally okay??

and right things are all good until BABY STARTS TO CRY i’m talking about the actual baby here although chenle might cry too at this point

and chenle just PANICS when he realises that just shushing won’t work and whacking a hand over his mouth *cough* like he does to jisung *cough* isn’t an option (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

but thankfully, you’re there!!!!!!

“may i?” you ask chenle as you stretch out your arms in his direction

chenle has never passed over anything faster in his entire life џ(ºДºџ)

so when you coddle the baby in your arms and just gently bounce him a little he just settles down so cutely and most important QUIETLY as he stares up at you with curious eyes, small fingers curling up around a necklace swung around your neck or just the fabric of your shirt

chenle is all like (๑•́o•̀๑)!!

HOW DID YOU JUST DO THAT!!!!

and he watches with eyes even more curious than his nephew’s eyes as the baby slowly dozes off peacefully in your arms (꒡ ω ꒡ )zzz

it just hits him just how natural the scene looks

he approaches carefully once he’s sure his nephew fell asleep and lays a gentle hand on your head as he peers down at the cute chubby baby face

“you’re a life saver, how did you even manage to do that?” ◎ܫ◎

“you know, i have to take care of you all the time so-”

he flicks your forehead faster than you can finish that sentence

way to ruin a moment (oT-T)

but *SIKEEE* the baby fusses a little as soon as you frown and chenle immediately freaks out

he showers the spot on your forehead with kisses and his nephew settles down once again as you smile at him proudly ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

chenle rolls his eyes as if he doesn’t wish for this scene to become familiar to him sometime in the future

Park Jisung

this chick is still a baby who barely hatched

so he’s still in CONSTANT WONDER of the world ༼ つ ◕o◕ ༽つ

and in this episode of ‘jisung the explorer’ he’s discovering... ACTUAL babies

so you were on a date at the local mall when you met with a family friend of your mom’s who was struggling with her fussy baby girl in a carrier while trying to shop for some baby products

so you offer to watch over the girl until her mom finishes up (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧

but just as you’re about to attach the baby carrier to yourself, an old woman asks for directions around the shop

so you pass the baby to jisung for literally a minute to show the lady the way └(>ω<。)┐

and jisung is HIGHKEY PANICKED

he holds the baby by the underarms at arms length and obviously she doesn’t enjoy that and just starts wailing in the middle of the shop

and people just... stare (,Ծ_Ծ,)

and jisung is all like ‘IT’S NOT MINE!!!!! AND I’M NOT STEALING OR MISTREATING IT EITHER!!!!!!’

the moment you’re back in his sight, he’s THRUSTING that tiny loud bald creature in your arms it’s a child jisung ║ * ರ Ĺ̯ ರ * ║

and he expects for you to panic too but right away

the baby quietens down as you cuddle her close to your chest and coo softly in a hushed baby voice

and she plays with your shirt while you glare at your boyfriend (눈_눈)

“y/n, you sorcerer, how did you just shut it off?”

“i didn’t ‘shut it off’, she’s a baby not a tape recorder”

“oh REALLY, i couldn’t tell the difference for a moment there”

you just might consider returning jisung and keeping the baby（ ಠωಠ）

he watches in wonder as you entertain the baby for the next few minutes until her mother comes back

and he swears his heart skips a beat when he sees your smile widen with tenderness once you get a small giggle out of the baby (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)

he supposes maybe she isn’t so bad since she makes you so happy

even though she was louder than even chenle which is an accomplishment at this point

and when jisung notices your slight pout once you gave the baby back and parted ways he makes sure to shower your face in kisses until you regain the same smile that made him fall so deep in love with you

547 notes · View notes

illfoandillfie · 3 years

Note

If you still want ideas, what about going on a picnic with rog, and like it's all pretty soft and you're giving each other all the hugs and kisses. But then at one point it turns into a heavier make out session and maybe you end up giving each other head 👀 but you gotta watch out that no one walks by and sees because it's not a busy spot but it's still in public ya know.

this was fun and cute! thanks for the request darl!

warnings for smut - oral (m and f receiving)

Blurb Advent: Day 14

The first days of spring had set in, the weather warming up after a freezing cold winter. You glanced at the sky, twitching aside the bedroom curtain, and decided that it looked like it would be a warm enough day to get away with a very spring-y skirt, brightly coloured with a floral pattern all over it. You worried briefly that you were jinxing things, the weather forecast on the news had predicted showers after all and maybe your skirt would just encourage them to roll in, but it was a risk you were willing to take. Roger was just as keen to shake off the winter, though he still opted for jeans. Instead he suggested you take advantage of the sunshine and have a picnic in the park. He dug out the old picnic set you kept – plastic plates and cutlery and cups, all tucked away in a stereotypical wicker basket – as well as a rug to sit on. And together you spent the morning putting together a few different sorts of sandwiches, cut into small triangles, and cutting up some fresh fruit, locking them all away in Tupperware boxes to keep the safe. Roger threw in a bottle of wine and the last few slices of a cake you’d baked a few days prior. It was all loaded into the basket, the rug sitting on top, and then into the car along with a large umbrella you could share if the weather did turn and a bottle of sunscreen in case it didn’t.

When you reached the park you grabbed all your stuff from the backseat and then Roger grabbed your hand. He had an idea of where to set up, leading you through the popular front section with it’s children’s playground towards a back corner and a little pocket of trees. There were a few people dotted around the park – a couple of families with their kids on the swing sets, a man and his dog playing a game of fetch, a couple of women throwing bread into the duckpond, laughing. But the further you got, the less people there were. A woman jogged past the tree line, Walkman clipped to the top of her shorts, but otherwise you seemed to have the spot to yourself. You supposed the risky weather was keeping people indoors still or maybe you were just there a bit too early for the crowds.

“Perfect,” Roger said, laying down the rug and taking a spot in the middle of it.

You began pulling out the food, handing Roger a plate for him to load as many sandwiches on as he wanted. Roger opened the wine, the cork making a dull popping sound, and you settled back to bask in the sunshine and enjoy your lunch. Roger shuffled in close to you, leaning back on a palm placed just behind you, eating and gesturing with his other hand. At one point he got so excited by something he said that the slice of orange he’d been about to eat flew from his hand and you both fell into giggles as it got lost somewhere on the grass. Between bursts of conversation and bites of food you exchanged kisses and soft touches. You let your hand rest on Roger’s leg when you weren’t using it to eat and Roger seemed to press himself closer to you every time he shifted to grab another piece of fruit or to top up your glasses. You liked it though. It was nice just to lean back against his shoulder and listen to him talk, feeling his lips press against your shoulder or temple ever so often. And whenever it happened you’d turn your head, tilt it up and invite him to kiss you properly. It was a peaceful way to spend the day, stretched out in the warm sunlight in your little patch of park.

After you’d both eaten enough you closed up the containers to keep the ants at bay. Roger lay back with his hand over his eyes and you lay down too, perpendicular to him with your head on his stomach. You watched the clouds in the sky, white and fluffy, no sign of the promised rain, slowly meandering over you. A little longer and you might have dozed off, content and warm, except that Roger’s voice broke through the rustling of the trees.

“What cha thinkin’?” “Nothin,” “Same,” “That’s normal though innit,” Roger poked you and you laughed, shifting around to lay beside him as well. You were still giggling as you kissed the tip of his nose in apology.

“Should just leave you here,” he softly teased before kissing you, his lips lightly pressed to yours for a moment. You returned the kiss when he drew back, only for longer, letting it deepen before you pulled away. Roger pushed himself up on his forearm, leaning over you, his eyes moving over your face. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought his face down to yours once more. As you both settled into it his leg fell between yours. You tangled yourselves up in each other, arms and legs as entwined as your lips and tongues. Your breathing became heavier as his thigh pressed against your cunt and you subconsciously began to grind against it. When he realised what you were doing, Roger moved his head to the side, kissing along your throat.

“Maybe we should go home?” you asked, a little breathless and very hopeful.

“Nah, we don’t need to go all that way,”

“But people might see,”

Roger broke away from you, “There’s enough tree cover that they won’t. Besides, we’ve been sitting here for ages and seen maybe two people pass by.”

“That’s still two more than I’d like.”

“Alright, how’s this? We make a barrier with the umbrella,”

You considered his proposal. The umbrella was quite large when open, it’d probably shield all the important bits from anyone who did pass. “Alright, deal.”

With a final quick kiss, Roger pushed himself up and grabbed the umbrella, opening it and positioning it so that it hid as much of you as it could. He used the wicker basket and a few of the Tupperware boxes to anchor the handle to keep it from moving if the wind picked up. “All good now?”

Maybe it was that the wine had gone to your head or maybe the sun’s warmth just made you feel a little daring but it seemed to be a good solution, “Yeah, that works.” You held out your arms, expecting Roger to continue the make out session you’d been so enjoying. Instead, with a playful smile, he positioned himself between your legs and dropped a kiss to your knee.

“You seemed to be wanting something before,” he said before leaving another gentle kiss a little higher, “This okay?”

You just pulled the material of your skirt a little higher, “just get on with it before someone else walks past,”

He laughed and left a final kiss against your thigh before sliding off your underwear.

It was hard to keep quiet once Roger had started. For one thing, the man knew what he was doing. He had an uncanny ability to make you squirm with a simple touch or just his breath blown over the right spot. On top of that you were used to your sexual escapades happening indoors, in a house large enough that the neighbours would never hear. So, when Roger pressed against your clit with the flat of his tongue, you had to clamp your own hand over your mouth. He nipped at your thigh as a warning before letting his fingers trail through your slit. You whimpered into your palm as he once again licked over your clit, working his finger into you.

“Thought you didn’t want anyone to know, love,” he said softly, pushing his finger deeper.

“I don’t,”

“Then you gotta be quieter,” He suddenly curled his finger against your front wall and you let out a cry at the unexpected bolt of pleasure.

“You did that on purpose,” you whined as quietly as you could manage.

Roger just chuckled and dipped his head again, holding your still with one hand as the other pressed against the spot. You moaned as he sucked on your clit in time with the finger rubbing against your wall, the hand over your mouth still not enough.

“Love. Be quiet or I’ll have to find you a gag.”

“I’m trying, you’re making it hard,”

“You’re making me hard.”

“Fuck off and keep going.”

“Alright but if we get caught before you go down on me then I’m gonna be really mad,”

“So stop talking and finish me off.”

“You’re so cute when you wanna cum,”

“Rog,” you whined his name though that was only partly out of frustration and partly because of how he licked along your slit again. It didn’t take him much longer after that, his finger stroking your insides as he sucked on your clit determined to push you over the edge. You bit down on your fingers to muffle yourself as the orgasm ripped through you, though you weren’t sure it helped much.

Roger worked you through it, until you were whining for him to stop. He pulled his finger free of you and stuck it in his mouth, humming around it.

“Your turn,” you said before kissing him hard, tasting yourself, and then moving to unfasten his jeans. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he was hard so you knew it wouldn’t take too long. You stroked over his length with your hand as you got comfortable between his legs. His breath caught as you licked along his shaft, flicking his tip with your tongue. “Alright love, no teasing,”

You laughed, letting your warm breath wash over his cock as you kept pumping it in your hand, before lowering your mouth to his tip. He hummed as you sucked on his engorged head, slowly sinking lower, your hand still wrapped around where your lips hadn’t reached. It was when you shifted your other hand to cup his balls that he let out his first noise. A choked moan.

You pulled off him suddenly, “And you were telling me to be quiet,”

“Y/N!”

“What?”

“C’mon, you know what. Just please suck me off,”

Trying not to look too pleased you took him between your lips again, bobbing your head lower before rising up to run your tongue around his tip. Roger was just as bad at being quiet as you were, groaning and gasping as you pushed him towards his release. He also liked giving instructions, requesting you squeeze his balls or asking you to repeat movements of your tongue. More than once you had to shush him, making him whine each time, but eventually you let him finish, holding yourself down on his cock as it twitched and released his load into your mouth. You washed it down with a bolt of wine and then lay back against Roger who was still breathing heavily.

For a while everything was quiet and peaceful again.

Suddenly Roger spoke up, “I love spring,” he turned to grin at you before leaving you with another kiss, “Now lets go home and be as loud as we want.”

#my writing #my blurbs #smut blurb #blurb advent 2020 #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor imagine #Anonymous

87 notes · View notes

ruby-assassin · 4 years

Text

Galton pride

this took me a whole year to write and i’m recyling mood boards....it’s a bad time for me

Nova looked up at the float. Tomorrow was Galton’s anual pride festival, and her team got their own float. “So, it came out nice.” She said looking at the fringe on the side and the signs and posters hung on it. Ruby had hung many “protect trans kids” poster as Oscar hung small bi flags on the elevated part they’d be standing on. Dana added flag from her house that had the words “girls love girls” in pink. Adrian has drawn some good pan posters too. Novas contribution had been the huge “love always wins” sign on the back of the float. She’s decorated it each of their flags for their sexualities, she thought it looked nice. “Nice?” Oscar asked. “It’s totally sick!” He high-fived Ruby who was grinning and covered in blue and pink paint. “Can you imagine us on this tomorrow?” She said as she climbed back on to it. “I’ll be here like ‘Trans right!’ And Oscar will be over here eating cotton candy that looks like a bi flag. And Dana will sit up there being gay and loving women! And Adrian will stand there with his pen and make rainbow renegades pins. And nova will stand here,” she pointed to the center of the float. “And wave awkwardly as she does.” Oscar and Adrian laughed. Dana yelled a ‘hell yeah!’ And high-fived Ruby. “Hey, I’m not that awkward.” Nova fought with a smile on her lips. “You say that now until you see the pictures of yourself tomorrow.” Oscar laughed and held out one of the beaded necklaces in the bi flag colors to Nova. “Wear that tomorrow, for solidarity.” He said as he put his own on. She smiled and put hers on too. “Okay guys, we need to be here at seven tomorrow. So wear a nice outfit and try and include some pride items too.” Adrian said as he shooed ruby and Dana off the float. “Ruby, didn’t you say you had face paint?” Adrian asked. “Yeah! I should have all the colors we need. I might not have all Dana’s colors though.” She said sadly. “It’s alright Ruby, I have my own anyway.” Dana winked at her and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Okay well, let’s get home and rest before the main event tomorrow.” Adrian smiled at his team.

The next morning Nova showed up to the warehouse they were starting at earlier than needed. She wore a black T-shirt with a small bisexual flag colored heart where a breast pocket would be. Her hair was down as always and she wore a pair of dark denim short since it was hot. The necklace Oscar had given her was around her neck. Her combat boots made an echo in the large building as the only other people here were the council, Adrian and a couple civilians doing maintenance. Adrian waved Nova over to where he and his dads were sitting, an area with a couple chairs and a supply of donuts, coffee and waters. “Hey.” Adrian said with a smile. Nova smiled back and sat next to him. “Hi.” She smiled. “Hi Nova, how are you?” The captain asked. She turned to him, she still felt weird about everything that happened between her and the council. Sure she had tried to kill him, and sure she did hate him from the time she was a small child, but they mended everything with multiple meetings and countless crying session (all of them recorded from the captains office or the interrogation room). “Im good, I’m excited to be on the float this year. I’ve come to all of the pride parades you’ve had so far.” She tucked hair behind her ear. “It’s nice to see that you guys are not only representing the lgbtq+ community but encouraging the people in it.” This was something that’s never changed in her mind. She loved the colorful flags and the face paint and the shirts she bought herself every year, though she had to hide them from the others. Unlike Adrian’s parents, Nova’s uncle wasn’t supportive of this kind of stuff. Most of the Anarchists were like that too, leaving Nova with internal conflict and self hatred that filled her need for her Uncle’s approval. “It’s nice to hear.” Hugh said with his classic smile. Adrian swiped his hand over Nova’s and caught her attention. “Wanna go and put some finishing touches on the float?” He asked as he held up his pen. Nova nodded and stood with him. “I’ll see you out there.” Nova said to the super couple as they walked off, hearing them chuckle.

“So, you want to help me paint my face?” Adrian asked as they made it to their float. He pulled out his marker, ready to sketch out some paints. “Sure, though I’m not quite the artist you are.” Nova smiles as she hoisted herself up to sit on the float next to her boyfriend. Adrian smiled back at her as he drew the pots of paint on the different colors of fabric or tinsel that covered the wooden float underneath. “Well, I don’t think a tiny flag will be too hard.” He said as he finally drew a paint brush too. Nova took the small brush from him and dipped it in the blue paint, using her other hand to take his glasses off. “Stop smiling so much so I can paint your face, dork.” Nova said as she patted the apples of his cheeks as he smiled. “Sorry.” He said trying to be serious. “Force of habit.” Nova let out a small laugh and continued the stripes of color on his cheeks. When she was finished she nodded. “Some of my best work.” She said simply and handed the brush to Adrian. “My turn.” She said and leaned her face towards him. Adrian just laughed at her enthusiasm and drew up some purple paint. “You really are excited aren’t you?” He said as he dipped the paint brush in the first pot of paint. “I am.” Nova said, stopping when the paint bust was swiping against her tanned skin. “I’ve always loved the parade. My uncle was homophobic and it made things really weird, especially when I got a crush on a girl for the first time. I wanted to talk to him, but hsse shut down the conversation as soon as I asked ‘is it okay for two people of the same gender to be in love?’ It was scary and new and I had no one to explain.” Nova kept her eyes closed and waited for the cool sensation of the paint on her skin again but it didn’t come. When she opened her eyes Adrian was looking at her with a sad look. “Nova,” He started. “Nope. I don’t want pity. I just wanted to tell you. Some backstory, ya know.” She said and pushed hair away from her forehead. Adrian tried to look less sad as he went to paint her face again but it wasn’t working. “Stop being sad.” Nova said with determination. “No. That was a sad story.” He said and pouted extra hard. “Hmmm, will a kiss make it better?” Nova said as she leaned towards him. He perked up. “Actually,” Adrian said and smiled. Nova laughed and pressed her lips to Adrian’s. They shared a small kiss before they pulled back and Adrian continued to paint her cheeks. When Dana and Narcissa arrived they were talking about the days events and holding hands. They had started dating a while ago and Dana had invited her girlfriend to join them on the float today. She was explaining how after the parade they would all be free to enjoy the festivities and stalls the Narcissa when they arrived next to the float. “Hey.” Dana smiled and sat on the edge of the float. “Good morning.” Narcissa supplied as she leaned next to her girlfriend. “Hi!” Adrian smiled as he finished painting nova’s face. “Hey guys.” Nova said as she turned around to look at them. The group held a steady conversation even as Ruby and Oscar joined until the council stood on their own float and announced that the parade was gonna start soon so they had to get on their floats to prepare. Ruby, who was wearing a trans flag as a cape, climbed up and held her hand out to Nova with a smile. “This is gonna be so fun!” She said as Nova climbed up with her. “I ave no doubts about that.” She said as the others made their way onto the float.

The sun was hot, but Nova could barely feel it over the vast amount of happiness and excitement she felt as the floats made their way down the street. People waved and called out to them as they waved and smiled. Their float had a built in speaker and was playing various songs the council had approved. Some little kids on the sidewalks danced along as they passed, the sight making Nova smile. Ruby and her were on the middle podium, swaying and singing along to the music with smiled. Oscar was tossing out rainbow bead necklaces while Dana and Narcissa were crouched on the edge of the float talking to a girl who was walking along the sidewalk, she looked to be about 13/14 years old and seemed absolutely infatuated with the two girls holding hands. Adrian was on the back of the float, tossing out the rainbow renegades pins he’d made the night before. It was fun, Nova was having the most fun she had ever had and she was being herself while doing so. She didn’t have to hide in an alleyway and make sure no one saw her face, she didn’t have to stash away her pride wear before heading home tonight. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. Ruby grabbed both of her hands as an upbeat song started and started to scream the lyrics and jump around. She looked so happy. Nova matched her level of enthusiasm, singing along as Ruby had introduced her to the song that was playing a couple weeks prior. As the song came to a close, Oscar came to join them on the podium, making a joke about how Nova was stealing his girlfriend. Nova and Ruby both laughed, Ruby pulling Nova into a tight side embrace, squishing their cheeks together. “We’re in love, don’t even try to come between us.” Nova laughed and turned to kiss Ruby’s cheek, earning a wild giggle from ruby. Oscar pulled his girlfriend away from Nova and swatted at her like a cat. “No this ones mine, Adrian is down there, go kiss him.” HE made a pouty face as the two girls laughed at him. Nova eventually let herself down to stand with Adrian fro the last two blocks of the parade. He smiled at her as she stood next to him, a group of fan girls going wild at the sight of them together. Nova let how weird it was slip as she wasn’t ready to let it ruin her mood. The two of them smiled and waved all the people around them while talking about Adrian’s previous experiences the the parade. Nova laughed along with his stories and putting in her input where it was needed. As the float came to a stop at a street near the park where the stalls and activities were placed, the group hoped off their float and stood by the entrance, Nova’s excitement bubbled up inside her. “You look excited.” Dana smiled at her. “I’m overflowing with positive emotions.” Nova whispered. “Then lets go!” Ruby yelled, leading thier charge into the festivities.

#renegades #supernova #archenemies #nova artino #ruby tucker #adrian everhart #dana bell #nova mclain

53 notes · View notes

until-theend-oftheline · 4 years

Text

Homework

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: Relationship hard patch, therapy, working through things, mention of postpartum depression, self-guilt, talk of the future - not as bad as it sounds

Squares Filled: Unbreakable Bond for @goodthingshappenbingo

Word Count: 2100ish

A/N: This is thought of as part of my LLL Universe, but if you don’t wanna read them all it can still be read as a one-shot. Though it will probably make the most sense if you know the story a little beforehand.

Betaed by: @blacktithe7 - thank you love

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

For the past three weeks, you had been in therapy two times a week. Once on your own, and once with Sebastian. You were working hard on yourself and your relationship. It hadn’t taken your therapist long to suspect you might be suffering from a mild case of postpartum depression. You loved Isabella and hadn’t once thought about hurting her or yourself. That’s what you always thought postpartum depression was, but your therapist had taught you otherwise.

You felt off. You didn’t feel like yourself. You had distanced yourself from Sebastian because of it. You woke up in the middle of the night worrying about Isabella for no reason, and you didn’t want to leave her with anyone other than her father.

The last part your therapist had taken as a positive. Even if you had distanced yourself from him, Sebastian was still someone you trusted. The only one you fully trusted with Isabella. You hadn’t seen any of that before, and that first session had you crying against Sebastian’s chest, apologizing for you didn’t know what. He didn’t blame you one bit, he just held you and reminded you he wasn’t going anywhere.

Before you left her office you signed up for solo sessions to get your depression under control. Those sessions were going pretty well. Understanding what you were feeling helped you, but you still didn’t want to leave Isabella with anyone other than Sebastian.

Sessions with Sebastian were hard. He felt as if he should have seen how you were feeling, that he had given up on you too easily. You felt everything was your fault and that you should have told him how you were feeling. Last week you had been fighting a lot again, just like before Sebastian had moved out of the apartment. Only this time it was because you didn’t want each other to blame yourselves.

This week had been a little better. Things had been awkward, but you had come to an understanding with each other. An understanding that you both needed to let the other go through whatever you were feeling in your own way.

You hated the awkwardness though, and the homework your therapist gave you didn’t help matters. Maybe that’s why you had invited Sebastian over early to have dinner with you and Isabella. You let your daughter work as a buffer between the two of you, which appeared to work. For a moment you felt normal. Like you were a family again.

You hadn’t been done cooking when Sebastian showed up, so he had hung out in the kitchen with you, playing with Isabella. The little girl adored her dad and was giggling and making happy baby noises. She kept reaching for him and showing him different toys. Sebastian’s attention never wavered as he happily went along with anything she handed him, even if he still managed to chat with you about the food, what Isabella had been up too, and possible job opportunities.

Sebastian and you took your time feeding the little girl. When dinner was over, Sebastian offered to give your daughter a bath and tucked her in, while you cleared the table. When you were done, you headed for your bedroom, where you kept Isabella’s crib. You smiled, leaning against the doorway as you watched Sebastian kiss your sleeping baby girl goodnight.

He smiled at you when he turned around to see you, slowly tiptoeing up to you. You backed up with a smile, letting him close the door behind him after turning on the baby monitor. For a few seconds, you just stood there, looking at each other. Neither of you willing to let this part of the day end just yet, but both knowing you had too.

“You ready?” Sebastian reached out, gently tugging your hair behind your ear.

You leaned into his touch, letting him cup your cheek as you looked up at him. You took a deep breath before kissing his hand and nodding.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

The two of you walked to the couch and sat down across from each other. You felt nervous. You looked down and started to fidget with your hands, only for Sebastian to reach out and put his on top of yours.

“It’s just me okay?” Sebastian reminded you, smiling softly when you looked up at him.

“This is weird though. Sit down and talk about what’s on your minds,” you mocked your therapist, causing Sebastian to laugh.

“I’d rather do trust exercises or something,” you grumbled, even though his laughter was putting you more at ease.

“Hey if you wanna hop up on the couch and fall backward, I’ll catch ya,” Sebastian teased, laughing again when you stretched your leg, poking him in the stomach with your foot.

“And just for that. You get to start,” you stuck your tongue out at him, and Sebastian pulled a face back at you. Your childish games made you both laugh before your eyes met, and you both grew serious again.

Sebastian took a deep breath, before looking down. “What’s on my mind a lot is I really wanna move back home to you and Isabella.”

“Sebastian…” your voice was soft, and your heart hurt for having to reject his wish. You weren’t there yet, and you didn’t want to do anything that might cause the two of you to lose each other for good.

“I don’t mean tonight or even tomorrow,” Sebastian quickly interrupted you, looking up at you with a sad smile. “I know we still have work to do, but that’s what’s on my mind the most. I miss the two of you when I’m not around and it kills me every time I have to walk out that door.”

“I’m sorry,” you felt yourself tear up as he spoke and Sebastian, quickly moved closer to you, pulling you against his chest.

“Hey. No. Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself,” Sebastian tried to put you at ease, but instead you pulled away from him.

“How can I not? I was the one who told you to go,” you argued, but Sebastian just shook his head.

“You didn’t. I was the one who offered that…” Sebastian tried, but you interrupted him before he could finish.

“You offered to move out. To couch surf between your friends and mom’s place for months because you didn’t want me to move across the country with your daughter,” your voice was harsh, and tears were streaming down your face as you spoke. “I never meant to take her away from you, but Seb I almost did.”

“No you didn’t,” Sebastian stayed remarkably calm this time around. Maybe he had been working on that during his solo sessions. “Honey, we were fighting. You wanted the fighting to end, and going to your mom's was the first thing that occurred to you. If that had happened, you would have been back. We would have figured something out.”

What Sebastian said sounded so rational, but you also hated the amount of faith he put in you when you still felt you were to blame for all of this.

“You don’t know that. You can’t know that.”

“I do. Because I know you Y/N/N.” Sebastian tried to smile at you as he reached for your hand. This time you didn’t push him away. “And you have to stop blaming yourself for all of this. I ran away. I felt something was off between us, and instead of talking to you about it, I ran away to shoot a movie I got an offer for last minute.”

You nodded and looked down at your hand holding his. You gave it a small squeeze, not wanting him to think you were mad at him as you confessed.

“I did feel like you abandoned me. You decided on your own, and all of a sudden I was alone with a baby.”

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian’s voice was thick as he spoke and you looked up at him. You could see the tears pooling in his eye. You hadn’t wanted to hurt him.

“You’re here now. That’s what matters,” you forced a small smile. “And I want us to be a family again someday. We both miss you when you’re not around.”

“Yeah?” Tears were streaming down his face, and you could no longer help yourself. You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding him close to you.

“I love you, Seba,” you whispered, smiling when you felt his grip on you tighten as he buried his face against your neck.

“I love you too, Y/N/N. So much.”

You didn’t say anything else for a while. You just sat there; holding each other. Sebastian was the first to pull back a little, looking down at you. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt like you did that night you first met. You wanted him to kiss you so badly and yet something stopped you, causing you to pull back at the last second.

You saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes, but he quickly masked it behind a smile as he reached for your hand again.

“Your turn.”

“I… I think about you moving home, but…” you wanted to tell him. You had no idea why it was this hard. Maybe because this was a huge part of the reason you had pushed him away in the first place.

“But?” Sebastian pushed, even though you could hear the flicker of doubt in his voice.

“I don’t feel like myself.” You didn’t look at him as you spoke. “I’m not ready for us to have sex because I hate looking at myself still. I don’t want you to see me when…”

“Stop.”

You looked up at him with surprise written all over your face. Not once had he stopped you sharing anything with him before.

“Honey how you feel is completely valid, but I promise you. What you see is not what I see. I see the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I see a woman that gave me the most amazing little girl in the world. I see a woman that I have been completely head over heels in love with even way before she realized it,” Sebastian confessed with a smile, and you couldn’t help the smile on your face as you looked down with a blush.

You knew Sebastian well. He was, despite everything, your best friend, and you knew when he was lying. He wasn’t now. He never lied to you, especially not about how he felt.

“Hey.” Sebastian placed a finger under your chin, making you look at him. “Is that why you pulled away before. Because you thought I wanted too…”

“Yeah… I… logically I know you weren’t. I know you’re not like that,” you stammered.

“Brad?”

You had shared everything about your past with Seb long ago, even before the two of you started dating. He had never met Brad, and still, he spoke his name with so much disdain that it was almost dripping from his teeth. You loved him all the more for it too.

“I know you’re not him. It’s just…” you tried to explain, but Sebastian just shook his head. He knew.

“Trauma can be hard to shake. Especially when you’re feeling low,” Sebastian assured you. “I’m never gonna push you into anything you don’t want. I miss you. In every way. But I can wait. Sex is not even close to the thing I miss the most. Kissing you and holding you is up there though.”

His confession made you smile. You bit your lip and looked down.

“What are you thinking?” Sebastian gently tugged your hair away from your face and you looked back up at him. He looked at you so softly and lovingly, it gave you the courage you needed.

“About you kissing me.”

Sebastian swallowed, licking his lips never taking his eyes off you. “Do you… Can I?” He looked at your lips, making you smile.

“Please kiss me, Seba,” you asked gently as you leaned in close enough to feel his breath on your lips. Sebastian slowly closed the gap, letting your lips meet.

He kissed you slowly and tenderly, letting you feel all the love he held for you as he pulled you tightly against his chest. He silently promised you everything would be right between the two of you again, and you believed him as you kissing him back, making the same promise right back to him.

Reblogs spread my work and make me happy. Got a favorite part/line? Did something touch you? Do you relate in some way? Please tell me and make my day.

Sebastian Stan Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr @sleepretreat @roxyspearing @jewels2876 @hellaqueerangelofthelord @danijimenezv @rumoured-whispers @becs-bunker @smoothdogsgirl @blacktithe7 @grace-for-sale @averyrogers83 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @sorenmarie87 @docharleythegeekqueen @erosbellarke @the-wayward-robot @super100012 @myfanficlibrarium @winchesters-favorite-girl @awkwardfangirl2014 @igotkatiepowers @dottirose @deathofmissjackson @miraclesoflove @badassbaker

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #lll

250 notes · View notes

becca-becky · 4 years

Text

when one door closes, fortune will open another

Relationships: Anxceit, Loceit, Moceit, Roceit, Demus. Can be seen as platonic or romantic for literally any of them if ya want, go nuts (although Roceit is probably the most romantic coded, tbh)

Summary: i.e. four times a side knocked on Deceit's door to ask him something and the one time Deceit knocked on the door of another to apologize.

Warnings/Notes: There’s a bit of crying, this fic mostly revolves around the aftermath of SvS Redux, Remus talks about a unicorn bleeding to death like, once and I think that’s primarily what you need to know? (lemme know if there’s anything else)

Also on Ao3!

*+*+^+*+*

Loud, erratic knocking on his door startled Janus out of his reading. It was only a few hours since he had dealt with the aftermath of the wedding, what now? Cautiously, he put his book down on his couch and strolled to his door. Opening it, he was confronted by Virgil at his doorstep.

Virgil erupted with outrage at the sight of him, "Janus, I'm going to ask you this once and only once: what the fuck did you do to Roman?!"

Janus hummed non-commitantly, tightening the grip on his door handle, wishing he could just retreat back into his room and stop this already ruined discussion without the risk of Virgil breaking down his door and continuing it.

But Virgil persisted, "No, seriously. What the hell did you say to him to the point where he's fucking crying in his room and won't even talk to Patton?"

Janus raised an eyebrow at that, "I mean, it makes sense, since Patton sided with me on the issue and Roman... well, didn't,"

Virgil's face twisted into a scowl, his hands clenched into fists and quivering at the tension, "And are you going to tell me what that issue is?"

The look of genuine surprise that took over Janus's face visibly confused Virgil, but once again, he continued.

"Like, not even Logan's telling me what's happening. He's holed up in his room and I don't even know where Remus is because at least Remus tells me what's going on, even if he acts like an ass when he does-"

A single, gloved finger to Virgil's face cut him off.

Virgil stared at him impatiently as Janus collected his thoughts at the... implications of what he's been informed of. "To summarize the whole ordeal would take far too much time for my taste, but I'll give you the backbone of it. Patton was acting... a bit out of his depth with how Thomas reacted to the wedding, there was a discussion of ethics and selfishness and whether it's a good idea to do things for yourself, and somewhere in the mix, while I was advocating for my side of the argument, Roman... insulted me, I said some things that I regret as well and now we're all caught up,"

Virgil snorted, "Wh-what, did Roman make fun of your coat or something-?"

Janus took a breath, "Roman made fun of my name when I gave it to them in a show of honesty." Janus confessed, squeezing his clasped hands that were behind his back.

Virgil stayed silent, staring at the floor, "And what did you say?" He said with an almost soft tone, looking at him for an answer.

Janus cleared his throat and muttered, "'If it wasn't for the mustache, Roman, I wouldn't know who was the evil one,' or something akin to that,'" Janus pointedly looked at Virgil's forehead as Virgil gazed at him.

A silence stretched after the words were spoken. Janus, sighing, turned to close the door to his room and finally get out of this conversation, but Virgil put his hand on the door and pushed it back.

"I-" Virgil started, "I'm sorry,"

Janus chuckled to himself tonelessly, moving the door back so then Virgil didn't break it by accident, "You didn't say it, Virgilius, you have no reason to apologize,"

Virgil's nose scrunched at the use of his full name, "But-"

"No, Virgil, if someone would like to apologize to me, it would have to be from the man who called me a middle-aged librarian,"

Virgil's eyes widened with confusion, "That's the insult he said?"

"Yes," Janus affirmed, pulling at the rim of his glove. "Well, part of it," He added after a beat.

Virgil frowned. "Oh,"

Janus hummed again before responding, "Now, Virgil, if you expect me to stay out here and chat all night long, you would be sorely mistaken. I trust that you'll be going now?" He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

Virgil rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, see ya later, Jan,"

Janus huffed at his long hated nickname and closed his door, assured with the padding of feet moving away from his room, he wouldn't have to push Virgil back to his room (it would be a first, Virgil didn't like to visit often if he could help it)

Picking up his book, Janus settled back on his couch, safe in the fact that Roman would probably be fine.

II.

But, when the knocking came again early in the morning when Janus was asleep , he had a feeling that this might become a common occurrence. It couldn't have been Virgil, however, the knocking itself was too soft for him, like the person on the other side of the door wasn't accustomed to going to the 'Dark Side' of Thomas's mind, especially at this hour.

Struggling to get himself out of his warm, comfortable bed, he flicked on the lights and made his way down to the door.

Hesitantly, he opened it.

"Logan?" Janus asked incredulously, rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing anything. Still, ever persistently, Logan stood at his door, looking barely put together.

Logan nodded his head stiffly, "May I come in?"

"Of- of course," Janus leaned away so Logan could enter, closing the door behind him.

Logan took in his room, looking around him. Janus tried to see his room from Logan's perspective. There was a bookshelf stuffed with books on a wide variety of topics in the corner, just next to his couch. His couch had a few fluffy pillows on it and a blanket that Janus thinks Creativity made him way back when carelessly tossed on it. A hat stand was by the windows with a small tree next to it on a little stand by the only window with the shades down, revealing the inky dark sky. There was a mirror behind the TV. The TV and the staircase had a desk in between them, a variety of pens and stationary decorating it with his laptop front and center. With the dim, warm lighting and ignoring the heat lamps, it was rather nice.

Logan moved to sit silently on the couch, trying not to take up too much space. His shoulders were tense but he looked at Janus steadily. Janus hummed, sitting next to him.

"Janus, I'd like to ask you a question," Logan said as soon as he sat.

"Go right ahead, Lo-"

"How did you get the others to listen to you?" Logan asked, simply but effectively cutting him off. "I've... I've tried over and over again to make them hear my side of the arguments we’ve had but I fail on every occasion. So, how did you do it?"

Janus stiffened at the inquiry. He didn't know. He honestly didn't. He just said what needed to be said, advocated for his side, the others realized he was right and that was it.

"I- um, don't know exactly, if I am to be completely honest," Janus smiled awkwardly at the unintentional joke, "I just said what I thought needed to be said,"

Logan's face fell, "Oh..."

"But, I suppose one step for you would be to stop acting like you don't have feelings," Janus amended.

Logan opened his mouth, ready to defend himself with a lie that Janus could sense from a mile away, and so could his room. Lies were basically impossible to be said here. Logan tried to speak, but only mouthed the movements. He shut his mouth when Janus sent a knowing glance his way.

"Everyone loves a sympathetic character, Logan. Act like yourself and the others may begin to realize how wrong they were about you. No one likes a liar, trust me on that," Janus joked.

Logan's eyes shifted over his face, "But what if that doesn't remedy the situation? What if it makes it worse?"

Janus winced at the sincerity in his tone, "Well, then, there's nothing you can do if it comes to that, really,"

Logan's eyes watered at the statement. Janus inhaled sharply. He held Logan's hands in his own, his hands laid bare without his gloves. Logan stared at the scales on his left hand and Janus felt his human side flush.

"Logan," Logan's gaze snapped to him, a few tears breaking over his skin, "If it comes to that, I'll be here to help you,"

"Wh-why?" Logan stuttered out.

Janus shrugged, "You're Thomas's logic, you want what's good for him as well. We all do," He lifted his left hand to Logan's cheek and wiped away his tears.

Logan nodded squarely, almost leaning into Janus's touch, and abruptly stood up, "Thank you for helping me, Janus," He said, his tone stiff but his eyes expressing an overwhelming gratitude that Logan couldn't have possibly expressed in words.

Janus smiled at him slightly, "No problem, Logan," and Logan sank down and out of his room.

III.

Rhythmic knocking alerted Janus of someone at his door. He was just feeding his snake, Angie, in his bedroom and became a bit preoccupied with petting her scales. Apologetically, Janus closed the opening to her cage and went downstairs get the door.

This time, however, the person at his doorstep was Patton. He held a notebook close to his chest and smiled when he saw Janus's face behind the door. "Hi, Janus! Can I come in?"

Janus opened the door wide as an invitation and let him in, closing the door behind him.

Patton beelined to his couch and sat eagerly, right by the fluffy pillows, "Nice place you got there, J," Patton complimented, scanning the decor.

"Thank you, Patton," Janus said haltingly before asking, "Not that I'm not enjoying your company, but what exactly are you doing here?"

Patton stared at him with wide eyes for a bit until he found the words to explain himself, "I've been thinking about this for the past few days, ever since the- um, incident. I wanted to know if you could teach me about ethics and morals? If you're up for it, of course, I wouldn't wanna pressure you to do something you wouldn't wanna-"

Janus cut him off before he went on an anxious rambling session, "Patton,"

Patton perked up.

"I'll tutor you on ethics and morals," He said.

Patton's face lit up as his smile grew wide. "Oh, really? Aw, thank you, kiddo!"

"No problem, you want to become better at your job and for Thomas's sake, we need to be the best that we can be," Janus ignored his resurging memories on Roman's outburst. "Of course, I'll need to come up with a lesson plan, see how well you know the topic, and then I need to research how to properly explain those unknown concepts to you in a way where we both know what I’m talking about, but it should be doable in the next week or so,"

Patton leaped up from his seat, dropping his notebook, and hugged Janus, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," He squealed right into his ear. Janus's face screwed up at the loudness of it but hesitantly returned the hug.

After a while, Patton broke away and held Janus's arms like a vice grip. "Thank you, Janus!" He then let go, picked up his notebook, and walked out of the room, a bounce in his steps.

Janus smiled at it. He did that.

IV.

Soft bangs on his door disturbed Janus's focus on his computer. Apparently, Patton only has incredibly basic -and rather shaky- knowledge on ethics and different philosophical ideologies (not exactly a surprise). So, Janus has been spending most of his free time researching teaching methods on intros-to-philosophy. He looked at the bottom right-hand side of his screen and muttered a few choice words. It's 12 AM, he'd gotten absorbed in his work again.

Getting up from his chair, he closed his laptop and walked to his door, rubbing his dry, irritated eyes. He should've asked Logan for help, he'd probably jump at the chance to get Patton to learn that a black and white viewpoint isn't the best thing that the figment of morality should have. Janus sighed tiredly. At least he was wearing somewhat comfortable clothes. Maybe he'll just go to sleep in those.

He yawned as he opened the door, "Hello..?"

Arms wrapped around his waist, and a head nestled itself on the junction of his shoulder and neck.

Hesitantly, he returned the hug. He's getting used to physical affection, with Patton hugging him almost every day with a thank you on his tongue for literally anything Janus did for him. It was odd, but becoming common.

He looked down at the red sash and white prince outfit in his peripherals. "Roman..?" He mumbled, idly rubbing his back up and down.

"I'm sorry," Roman said softly on his pulse, his words ingraining themselves on his skin. "I'm sorry about what I said about your name,"

Janus felt blood rise to his cheek but returned the words with the same sincerity. "And I'm sorry for what I said about you being evil," He regretted saying the insult as soon as Roman left Thomas's living room. But if Roman didn't return the feeling, why should he have to confess it to him?

Roman chuckled, thin and watery, "Thank you, but you might want to save that for Remus," He let go of the embrace and looked Janus in the eye, "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come and apologize for my rudeness. I was- caught up in something for a while,"

"Let me guess, you went to Patton to ask about apologizing to me," Janus said good-naturedly.

Roman's face turned red and he nervously ran a hand through his hair, "I- um, you could say that?"

Janus felt his lips curve into a small smile, "That explains the hug,"

Roman held up his hands, waving them around unthinkingly, "I- I panicked! I just did the first thing I thought of, which was Patton's advice on giving you a hug with some flowers as a peace offering," He said it with a strained voice like he was embarrassed by going with his instincts. “I should’ve given you the flowers, hold on-”

Janus put his hand on Roman's shoulder, trying to suppress the small shiver that came out of him. It was April, yet it was still a bit chilly in the 'Dark Side' of Thomas's mind and Janus's reptilian side didn't like that at all.

"Fight-or-flight has always been Virgil's thing, Roman," Janus said idly, gazing at Roman with a welcoming warmth. "And no, I’d rather you don’t give me flowers, I’m not your prom date. Although I do hope you won't jump a hug on the wrong person, Logan and Virgil would definitely be a no-no,"

Roman huffed before nodding diligently, smiling a bit as he did, "Yes, yes, mother,"

Janus snorted, "'Mother'?"

"Padre's the dad side, and you're the mom side," Roman said, his eyes squinting in thought, "You just seem like the type of side who anyone could go to for advice," He said finally, snapping his fingers as he did.

Janus hummed, thinking back to the past two weeks ever since the wedding, "That's not too far off, Roman,"

Roman's smile widened, before hesitantly taking off Janus's hand from his shoulder and clasping it in his own. His hands were warm and calloused, light indentations in his fingertips from an instrument, probably a ukulele since Thomas picked it up a while ago, and a sword based on the overall toughness of his palm- and Janus paused his thoughts on that. Why was he thinking about Roman's hands?

"I am afraid I'm going to have to leave, Lady Juno." Roman said sheepishly, "I've got to look over the monologue book Thomas got with him in the morning to see if there are any monologues he could use for auditions,"

"Okay then, well- wait, what?" Janus's brain caught up to the nickname Roman gave him, "'Lady Juno?'"

Roman winced, "You know because Juno and Janus are pretty connected in Roman mythology and I know I normally use pagan gods because -well, duh- but I never Roman mythology for some reason so I thought I could try it out with your name and all and-" Roman cut himself off, opting to look at Janus nervously, "I- I know it's not my best," He added on hastily.

Janus hummed, "I've heard worse,"

Roman's eyes lit up like a flame to dry logs, "Then I'll come up with something better, Jan!"

Janus's face soured at the nickname, "Just not that one,"

Roman laughed boisterously before tapping Janus on the nose with his pinkie, bidding him farewell, and prancing off to his room.

Janus still stood at his door, a question mark practically sitting on his head. His face burned as he stared blankly at the floor. What just happened?

All at once, Janus slammed the door closed and actually began thinking again. He leaned against the door, crossing his arms. He was hung up on one thing (well, more than one thing, but at the moment he was stuck on that one) Roman said to him during that interaction.

Roman said '-you might want to save that for Remus,'

Janus stared at the floor, racking his brain for any sort of insult that involved Roman and Remus. The one-liner he told Roman popped up in his head, the very thing he apologized to Roman for, 'Oh, Roman, thank god you don't have a mustache, otherwise between you and Remus-'

Oh.

Remus.

Janus stared up at the scratched-up door of Remus's room. The bright green paint on it was peeled, and blood, juice, and a white fluid were splattered on it. Janus never wanted to know how the white fluid got on there, or what it was, for that matter.

Hiking up his gloves, he knocked sharply on the door twice. Muffled shuffling was heard until it was paused with the opening of the door. Remus peeked over the door, his chipped nails bloodied and rough.

"Hello, Remus, may I come in?" Janus asked softly.

Remus shook his head and made a sound that was half-way between a huff and a whine, simply saying, "A unicorn's bleeding to death in here," despite the fact that Janus heard no sounds of any nature coming from his room, and also because he felt the lie Remus told, tingles and prickles being sent up his left side as he said it.

"Oh... would you mind if I just apologized out here, then?"

Remus's bloodshot eyes widened before nodding hesitantly.

Janus took a breath, "Remus, I'm sorry for what I said about you being... evil," He echoed his apology to Roman, because in a way, he insulted the two of them in the same sentence, yet in completely different ways, "I didn't mean to intend any harm, it was merely to... spite Roman because he doesn't like being compared to you, simply based on how different the two of you are. I'm so sorry," Janus almost winced at his apology. Jesus, he sounds so insincere, he can’t even find it in himself to blame Remus for not believing or not accepting his apology if he does.

Remus opened the door a bit wider and left the comforts of his room to stand in front of him, silently shutting the door behind him.

He looked down at the floor as soon as he did, his body shaking.

"Remus," Janus's voice sounded sensitive, vulnerable, even, "Please... please look at me,"

Remus looked up and made a choked up wail, pulling Janus towards him and latching onto him like an octopus.

Remus sniffled into his chest, burrowing himself into his cloak. Janus smiled sadly and returned the gesture, tucking Remus's head under his chin.

"I'm sorry, Remus, I truly am," He quietly uttered to him, Remus just gripping him tighter and wetting his shirt as a result.

Janus held Remus close as Remus cried on him, humming a simple made-up melody under his breath to try and ease him.

After a long moment of this, Remus looked up at him, snot stuck on his cheeks and tears still falling, and said, "Thank you,"

Janus chuckled, a confused smile teasing his face, "For what, Rem?"

Remus said it as though it was obvious, "For apologizing,"

Janus took a silent, sharp breath and leaned his forehead on Remus's. "No reason to say thank you for something that should have been done before, Remus," He said softly, a small smile on his face.

Remus giggled, his voice cracking.

They were going to be fine.

*+*+^+*+*

what can i say, i love some hurt/comfort

65 notes · View notes

sadaboutniall · 4 years

Photo

something about you;

introduction | masterlist | tag | wattpad

Twenty Six. August, 2017.

It all happens so fast. It’s like one morning he’s talking about how to best release This Town, if they should just throw it up on SoundCloud or give it a proper release, and the next he’s on a world fucking tour of his own, album in his back pocket, screaming fans lining up outside once again. He hadn’t expected this, didn’t really think anyone would care so deeply about him, on his own.

They come up with the idea for Flicker Sessions and Niall thinks it’s fucking brilliant, a great way to ease into a solo career, a perfect way to showcase his album—his life’s work—the way he wants it to be heard. It’s fucking brilliant and he can’t wait to kick it off—until it actually happens.

Because he hadn’t thought, really, about what it would be like to sing Flicker in front of people for the first time. Hadn’t really considered that this record, so intimate, so personal, such a reflection of his soul, would be something that he doesn’t want other people to hear. The prospect of it is fucking terrifying, and he’s got fifteen minutes to get over it before he goes on stage.

‘I think I’m going to go out there now,’ says Isla, who’d been in the dressing room with Niall, watching him get ready. They’d made out against the wall for ages, his hands on her thighs under her sundress, her lips soft on his neck, careful not to leave any marks. It calmed him, being close to her like that, but she wants to watch the show from the crowd like everyone else, wants to experience it properly, and Niall’s not sure how he can manage fifteen more minutes alone with his thoughts. ‘You ready?’

‘Not really,’ Niall admits, fiddling with the sleeves of his white t-shirt. ‘Fucking shitting it.’

‘Yeah, I would be too,’ Isla says honestly, pressing a kiss to Niall’s throat. ‘But you’re going to do great. They’re gonna love you.’

‘Just feel so,’ Niall drags a hand over his face. ‘Naked?’

Isla tilts her head, eyebrows raised. ‘I mean, if you want to be—’

‘Please don’t tempt me right now,’ he whines, and Isla laughs, eyes warm as they trail over Niall’s body. ‘Tonight,’ he lowers his voice for her, leans in for a kiss.

‘Ah, you’ll be too drunk to get it up,’ she says it in the same low, sultry voice as Niall, smile pulling at the corners of her lips. ‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep.’

It really does feel like he’s on stage naked. He had thought the Jingle Ball tour was exposing but this is totally new, a different level, an intimacy he didn’t even think was possible. Almost everyone he grew up with is here tonight and everyone knows—they all know this is about Isla, who’s standing with them, singing along to songs they’re all hearing for the first time. He’s literally laying his heart out for people he’s known since he was a child: dissecting the intricacies of the love that has defined his entire life, for the entire world to hear. He never knew he had it in him to do this.

He relaxes into it a few songs in, feels like he fully finds his groove by the middle of This Town, when the whole crowd can sing along. He finds Isla then, too—he’d been searching for her the whole set to no avail, and something about it feels particularly fitting, that his eyes land on hers at that moment. She’s the only person in the room as far as he’s concerned—fuck the Capitol execs, the journalists, the musicians he grew up listening to who are here now to listen to him. It won’t make him any better, worrying about them; this is for her.

During Flicker, he has to close his eyes. It feels impossible to look at anyone when he’s this vulnerable, this honest. He can only think about how he felt while he was writing it, how terrified and clinging to hope he was—and then how it felt to play it for Isla for the first time, to watch her break down over the things he never found the courage to tell her properly. He could’ve saved them both so much pain, if only he hadn’t been so afraid.

He gets it together, though, after Flicker and then Too Much To Ask. He finds his footing when the setlist speeds up, when he glances back into the crowd to see Isla and Emilia dancing, drinks raised above their heads, to Since We’re Alone. It’s smooth sailing from there out—he tries not to look at Isla too long during Slow Hands, for an entirely different reason this time, and feels his heart swell and nearly burst with the crowd’s reaction to On My Own. By the end of the set all he wants to do is keep going. Again, again, again, again. He wants to keep doing this on his own.

The afterparty is in Coppers, which feels ridiculous but perfectly stereotypical. It’s part business meeting for Niall, who spends the first half of the night talking to the Capitol team and to journalists, accepting claps on the back and handshakes and congratulations, watching out of the corner of his eye as Tara collects business cards and phone numbers on his behalf. It’s all good news, Niall knows that, but it’s making him itchy and antsy, standing here doing this while his friends and family mingle around him, dancing, laughing, throwing back shots and raising pints. He wants to be with them, too.

He escapes near midnight, when the execs have gone home and Tara’s disappeared with some guy who went to uni with Deo. Part of him wants to take a few seconds alone just to breathe, but he’s not willing to risk it, sure that someone will come up and interrupt if they see him alone. Being with Isla is better, anyway, than being alone.

He finds her with the Mullingar crew, no surprise. Mully’s got one arm slung over Mia’s shoulders and the other slung over Isla’s, and the sight of it makes Niall’s heart do a few flips in his chest, a smile rise on his face.

‘Something you need to tell me?’ He asks, sidling up to the group and gently touching Isla’s lower back. She’s beaming when she turns to him, and very, very drunk.

‘I’m her surrogate fella,’ says Mully, stupid smile on his face. ‘Her real one fecked off to make business deals.’

‘How’d everything go?’ Isla interrupts, shrugging Mully’s arm off her shoulder and leaning into Niall instead. He feels a rush of pride in his chest, as if there had ever been anything to worry about.

‘Really well, I think,’ Niall drops a kiss to Isla’s hair. ‘But I don’t wanna talk about work shite anymore. Shall I get us drinks?’

‘I’ll come with you,’ she says, smiling. ‘Anything to escape these eejits.’

Their friends shout after them as they walk away, Niall’s arm fitting comfortably around Isla’s waist. She drops her head onto his shoulder and the butterflies don’t let up—he doesn’t think they ever will, no matter how long he and Isla stay together. He loves this: walking through a crowd of people with his hands on her, her body pressed up against his. He likes that everyone in this room knows they belong to each other.

It makes him itch for more of this, more moments and places where they can be open, together. But Niall’s seen what going public with relationships does for people like him. He swallows the idea, tells himself he’s not thinking straight. He’ll let Isla make the decision when she’s ready.

At the bar he gets a Guinness for himself, and another vodka coke for Isla. They find a quiet spot near a window and this is all Niall wanted, he thinks—just some time with his girl, alone, before he has to face the rest of the world again.

‘How do you feel?’ Isla asks around her straw, already deep into the drink. This is so typically her, piss drunk and still asking how everyone else is doing. ‘You were fucking brilliant. I fucking cried. Like, a lot.’

‘Did ya?’ Niall wishes he had his eyes open during Flicker, all of a sudden. He hates the idea of Isla crying without him. ‘I was that bad?’

‘Fuck off,’ she giggles, reaching up to cup his cheek. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

He grasps her wrist, pulls her hand around so he can press his lips to her palm, a gentle kiss. ‘Love you,’ he tells her. ‘This wouldn’t have happened without you. Thank you.’

‘It would’ve,’ Isla whispers, barely audible over the loud music, the roar of people talking. ‘You would be just as talented without me.’

‘No,’ he shakes his head. ‘All this is you. I wouldn’t have even auditioned without you, let alone written an entire album.’

‘Ah, you would’ve found someone else to inspire your angst.’

‘No,’ Niall repeats himself, trying to convey just how serious he is through his voice. ‘It’s only ever been you.’

Isla doesn’t fight him, just runs her thumb over the outline of his lips, over his dusting of stubble. ‘Colm is here,’ she says eventually. ‘He came up to talk to me earlier.’

‘What?’ Niall feels a strangely specific tightening in his chest, one he hasn’t felt since secondary school. ‘How did he get in? I didn’t invite him.’

‘Came with Nicky as his plus one.’

‘For fuck’s sake, I’ll kill the bastard.’

‘S’alright,’ Isla soothes. ‘It’s been ages. Was weird, though. He asked me if I was happy with you, if I was okay with being kept a secret.’

‘He what?’ It kind of feels like the only word Niall can say right now.

‘I dunno, it really was weird. He was saying how I shouldn’t settle, how I deserve someone who doesn’t feel like he has to keep me a secret because he’s ashamed of me. I know he talks shite but, like, what a weird thing to say for no reason,’ Isla sips her drink, not quite meeting Niall’s eye.

‘He’s a fucking idiot bastard,’ is what Niall manages to get out, corners of his vision clouding with anger. ‘Just wanted to make you feel like shite one last time, and that was the best he could come up with. Petal, I’m so sorry, I wish you told me right away. Would’ve had him kicked out that second, but I’ll do it now, let me call Bas and—’

‘It’s okay, Niall,’ Isla touches his chest gently. ‘It won’t do any good to make him angry. I don’t even know why I told you it just… I’ve been thinking about it, is all.’

‘About what?’

‘What he said,’ says Isla softly, stirring what’s left of her drink with her straw.

‘Do you feel that way?’ Niall asks, bile rising in his chest. ‘Like I’m ashamed of you? Because that’s the furthest from the truth, Isla, I—’

‘No,’ she shakes her head quick, cuts him off. ‘But I know, like. I know that I don’t fit in. With your work friends and stuff.’

‘What are you talking about, yes you—’

‘I’m not, like, a model or anything. I’m not talented or stunning or charming or cool, like that. I know I’d make a tit of myself if you took me to any of your work events, and I know that, like, publicity-wise there are better choices for you in terms of a girlfriend.’

‘Isla—’

‘I just don’t want you to feel pressure, like?’ Isla still won’t look at him. ‘I love you so much, but if I’m not the right fit for your job—’

‘Isla,’ Niall raises his voice just enough to get her to look up at him, brown eyes wide, wet, sad enough to snap his fucking heart. ‘I don’t want you to think like this. I don’t want anyone but you—I’m never going to want anyone but you ever again. Every time I had someone who wasn’t you I was thinking about you, for fuck’s sake. Christ, if you knew the number of times I almost said your name while I was in bed with someone else… it’s fucking embarrassing. You’re drunk, petal, and I don’t want to have this conversation right now,’ he brings his hand up to cup her cheek now, hoping she can feel just how much he loves her this way. ‘But I want to carry it on in the morning, when you’re sober. Is that okay?’

Isla nods, swallows thick and closes her eyes for a second. Niall waits. He’ll wait as long as she needs him to.

When she does open her eyes, it’s like she was never upset in the first place. ‘You thought of me while you were fucking someone else?’ she asks, bringing her drink up to her mouth, wrapping her lips around the straw. It’s amazing, how quickly Niall feels a rush of heat through his body.

‘Every single time,’ he tells her honestly. ‘Listen, I’m gonna go find Bas and get McAnderson kicked out of here. But after that, I think I made you a promise earlier today that I’d like to keep?’

####

taglist: @stylishmuser @thicksniall @stayclose-holdsteady @niallhoranruinsme @ajayque @flickerswinehouse @1dfangirls35 @crocodileniall @halfpinthoran @awomanindeniall @booksncoffee @edgeofmyniall @kare38 @emmathefantomes @coconutdawn @irish-nlessing @niallspeachybum @perksmikey

join the taglist here

#one direction #1dff #one direction fan fiction #niall horan #niall horan fic #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan imagine #niall #something about you #you didn't think it could all be smooth sailing from here did ya!!#alskfjsudfksdf #SPOILER *ts *all g*nna b* *kay

54 notes · View notes

zankivich · 5 years

Text

Neighbors: Shawn x Plus Size Reader Chapter 10

a/n: don’t get mad at me. She’s long af. but this was incredibly important for me to write and I wanted to do it justice, and that meant take the time to let this character feel and allow the space to feel pain and to feel defeated. I wanted to show that even the most confident of people can and do struggle under scutiny and that being a confident fat woman isn’t any different. Shit’s hard ya know? Idk I love this a lot. so I hope you love it too? K bye.

*y/n’s pov*

“I don’t know. I don’t like it. I don’t like the lace, I don’t like the length, I don’t like the belt; I don't like anything about it.” You huffed.

Stu nodded. “Baby girl we’ve been at this for hours though. I once saw your boyfriend suck your face because you yawned too cute. I don’t think the dress is going to matter.”

“Ugh, men. You could not be more wrong right now. The dress means everything Stu!”

New Year’s is quite the ordeal. Instead of having it at the apartment it gets switched to a bigger venue in toronto. All of a sudden it’s a lot of industry people and all of Shawn’s family and friends. And it’s beautiful and wonderful, but you can’t help but notice that your part of the guest list is significantly smaller. You invite some friends from the office, and Stu and Bryan of course. At the time, when Shawn had asked, You had said yes with no hesitation, but it hadn’t occurred to you that things were a little more complicated than that. This was the official presentation of you as a couple. Shawn’s performance though pre-recorded, meant buzz, meant there were gonna be a lot of people just looking in your direction all night.

No one still really knew who you were. You and Shawn had never been seen together outside of Toronto and besides the occasional grainy selfie, you were still very much a concept more than a person for a lot of people. The world knew Shawn Mendes was dating someone, they didn’t know that someone was you, and you knew in your heart that this night was going to change all of that.

“You know people are gonna be confused.” You sighed plopping down beside your best friend on one of the couches outside the dressing room.

“Confused about what?”

“Confused about why American Canadian sweetheart Shawn Mendes is dating some fat marketing exec with a baking problem.” You mumbled picking at the material of dress number fifteen.

He sighed. “Is that all you are? Do you think that’s all that matters?”

You groaned in frustration. The problem with being a confident fat woman is they want you to always be a confident fat woman. Even if that’s an expectation that they never have of anyone else. You gotta be a hundred percent always. You were flawed in more ways than one.

“No. Of course not. And I don’t...I don’t care what the world fucking thinks of me. I just want him to be happy and I don’t wanna make his life more difficult. And yea maybe I don’t wanna see the internet rip me to fucking shreds. We know more than anyone how ruthless people can be, Stu.”

“Yea, I know.” He murmured leaning his head against yours. “If the dress needs to matter today, then we can let it matter okay? I just want you to be happy, kiddo.”

“Thank you….. Thank you.”

You go to a different store in between a mini crying session in the dressing room, and shared pretzel bites. There’s a dress that’s all sheer and sparkly rhinestones. It’s black and it’s seethrough and the neckline comes up around the neck almost like a choker. It’s much more adventurous and risque than you feel in that moment so there’s a big hope that it’ll somehow just work itself out.

Back in your apartment however, Shawn sat perched up on your couch playing guitar without a care in the world. You definitely spent more time in Shawn’s apartment, but something about seeing him in your space always made you feel warm inside. And when he put his guitar to the side and pulled you to straddle his lap instead, you simply melted before him. Ugh.

“How was shopping?” He murmured lips pressing staccato, gentle kisses to your neck and shoulder.

You snorted. “I’d say it was the worst experience ever, but every time I go shopping is the worst experience ever so.”

“What happened?”

“It’s nothing. Store’s just aren’t really designed for me. I usually shop online but I wanted this to be special. My mistake.”

He frowned, fingers kneading softly into your back, over your ass, and down to your thighs. God was he annoying and perfect.

“I’m so sorry. Do you want me to make you a new store?” He asked. “Cause I would.”

You grinned reaching to cradle his face in your palms.

“You do a really good job of making me feel like my worries are really dumb. Have I ever told you that?”

“You haven’t. But you also don’t tell me your worries very often. You wanna talk about it?”

You shrugged your shoulders softly, lips jutting out stubborn as you imagined a child probably would.

“Mmm.” You mumbled.

“Mmm?” He smirked mimicking you. “Please? I just wanna help.”

“You didn’t tell them.” You admitted softly.

“Tell who, what?”

“You never told the world that I’m big. And tonight everyone’s gonna know.” You sighed. “And I don’t care. At least I’m trying not to but I just...they’re not gonna think I’m good enough. I know they aren’t. And they’re gonna be confused and probably disappointed. And I’m just...I don’t know. I don’t know what I am. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” He breathed tugging your chin down so that your eyes met. “It’s okay. You never have to apologize to me about how you’re feeling.I didn’t think about how public tonight would be. I’m sorry for that. I just want you to be with me, because I love you, and I wouldn’t want to have this night without you. If you don’t feel comfortable going, we don’t have to go.”

You snorted. “Shawn, it’s your party.”

“It’s our party, first of all. And second of all everyone’s showing up for the booze and the food anyway, I doubt they’d notice our absence. I’ll do whatever makes you happy. I told you I don’t want my life to be a burden on yours, y/n.”

“You’re not a burden to me, ever.” You promised. “I’m not skipping either. I don’t let shit like this get to me. I guess it was just on my mind. And I couldn’t help it.”

His arms snaked around your waist, chin coming to prop on your shoulder. He looked at you with kind and gentle eyes, your heart soaring at the sight. Rude.

“It’s okay. I always want you to tell me what’s on your mind. You know that right?”

You nodded softly nuzzling your nose against his.

“Can I see your dress though? I wanna know how pretty my baby’s gonna look tonight.”

It gets your mind off of the negative, which was almost definitely his aim.. And instead of going back to playing guitar he wrestles you down to the couch in favor of playing you like his favorite instrument instead. And when his head falls between your thighs, he spends extra time loving the very parts of you you’d found problem with an hour ago. His hands traced lovingly at your stomach, thumbs touching stretch marks, molding to the curve of your skin. Shawn didn’t make you feel beautiful. Instead he seemed to hold a mirror to your very core and ask you to see yourself as you were, as he saw you. He showed you a beauty that had always been there, and only made it more special because you knew he was always willing to help you remember when you forgot. That meant everything to you.

“Can’t wait to kiss you at midnight.” He murmured hands skipping along the waist of your dress. “I’m gonna be the luckiest guy in the room tonight.”

You were standing in front of the mirror back pressed firmly to his chest and you smiled at his reflection.

“You’re too good to me. I don’t deserve it.”

“On the contrary, I think you deserve the world.”

At the door Shawn helps you into the beautiful, sleek trench coach that he got you for Christmas. You help him into the similarly beautiful burberry wool trench coat you got him. You like to think that the two of you look very mature and badass standing side by side. It’s a nice thought.

The venue is full of black and gold balloons. Cheap, cheesy decorations cover every inch of the bar and dance floor. The room is already full of classic New Years energy and there’s barely anyone there yet besides the people still setting up and Shawn's family who somehow made it before even you.

“Babe come see the photo booth!” Shawn murmured excitedly tugging at your fingers until you stumbled towards the booth.

He plopped you onto his lap and quickly smothered your lips in a kiss to stemi any protest you surely would have given him. His hands grabbed at your thighs and he nuzzled your head softly towards the camera.

“Don’t argue with me honey, just take a picture with me.” He hummed.

Rude.

Suddenly there’s more people there than you think you’ve ever met in your life. Shawn is like the popular guy at school, which is genuinely comical because he’s the dorkiest man you’ve ever met, but everyone wants a piece of him. He spends an hour taking pictures with people you’ve never seen before. Some of them seem like good friends if the way he hugs them and laughs with them is anything to go off of. Women in scantily clad outfits grip him a tiny bit longer than necessary, or smile in a way that seems to push their bodies closer towards his. You don’t find yourself nearly as jealous as you did at the bar on halloween. Something about knowing you’re together and knowing where you both stand allows you to be a little bit more of a grownup. He loves you and you know that and so there isn’t any reason to be jealous. Especially not when he’s drunk and soft and affectionate and all of that gets directly thrown at you and no one else.

You were standing at the bar nursing this very delightful long island when a hundred and sixty pounds of Canadian attached itself to your back.

“Babe!” Shawn snickered directly into your ear. “Baby, I missed you so much.”

Stu had a very amused expression on his face that was full of sass and was very annoying.

“I just saw you thirty minutes ago. What the hell did you drink since then?”

“Brian wanted to do a round of shots. I did three.” He giggled.

Jesus.

“Wonderful. Remind me to get Brian to carry you to bed later.”

“I’d much rather you carry me to bed. But that’s beyond the point. I’m ready to dance with you now.”

This gave you pause. You turned to your boyfriend, tugging his arms from around your neck and took his face carefully in your hands.

“This is important, Shawn. Listen to me. You may have been roofied.”

He snorted. “I wasn’t roofied. I just...I know tonight means a lot to you, and I know it’s scary being here with all these people and I wanna--I wanna even the playing field. I wanna dance with you.”

It is maybe the sweetest thing that anyone has ever offered you in your life. So much so that you’re sort of at a lost for words. You’d never really thought about dancing with Shawn. It wasn’t something he was interested in and that was okay. Stu was a total slut on the dance floor and dancing the night away with him was often the best nights of your life. But, here he was, this annoyingly perfect man offering to do what you wanted to do for literally no other reason in the world than to make you happy?

“What factory did they make you in?” You mumbled fingers reaching up to skim his chin.

He only smiled wider. “Maybe I was made just for you. Now come show me how to dance.”

He stumbles on the edge of the last step to the dance floor and it occurs to you that perhaps there’s a reason Shawn doesn’t dance. And maybe even on top of that, adding alcohol is not going to make things go any better . . .

You’re right. Holy shit he was awful. Some people dance like they have two left feet. Shawn on the other hand was dancing like he had a third foot that had somehow got added. But he’s drunk and he’s happy and he’s just trying to make you smile so literally none of it matters. Because when he notices that a six foot tall man doing the cabbage patch dance bring tears of joy to your eyes, he only does it longer. Because it makes you happy. Because he makes you happy. And he’s not thinking about all the people in the room or what they might think of him because this, this thing that’s happening right now is just between the two of you. And that feels really fucking special.

“Hey!” You shout over the music pulling him into your arms to stop the dancing. “I love you.”

“I love you too!” He beamed. “Only wanna make you happy.”

He’s sweaty and his curls are flopped in his eyes and his cheeks are so red and so soft and you’re so gone on him. How are you this gone on him?

“You do.” You assure him putting your head playfully against his. “Jesus, you do.”

“Will you do something that’ll make me happy?”

He eyed your mouth and without even mentally registered you worked to wet your lips.

“Of course.”

“Will you come drink with me? Need you to get on my level right now.”

Your hands mapped playfully at his broad chest as he seemed to rock you both back and forth on the dance floor as opposed to any sort of synchronized movement.

“How come?”

“Because I wanna have fun tonight. I want to have fun with you tonight. Please?”

Well when you put it like that?

“Tequila?” You grinned.

“Tequilla!”

What’s the worst that can happen?

*Three hours later*

“MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME--”

“AND I!”

“I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE--”

“STILL BELIEVE!”

“WHEN YOU’RE NOT WITH MY I LOSE MY MIND”

“GIVE ME A SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGN! HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!”

You slapped your boyfriend’s ass in front of his entire family and all of his friends. His very rich, powerful friends. Your boyfriend also very much bent over to receive the slap that you were administering. Tequila, friends.

“Babe, hear me out… I think we should go on tour together! We sound incredible.”

“Holy shit you’re right!”

You both bust out laughing because it’s clear that you sounded absolutely terrible. But, you’re drunk and happy and in love, so who gives a fuck? After karaoke time, you wind up back on the dance floor. Shawn is completely in his element, the big, goofy man you’d fallen for, and it’s so much fun. You’re not thinking about any one around you. Not the beautiful women, or the music executives, or the snapchat stories. It’s just the two of you, and some friends, and music. The way it should be.

It’s barely eleven o’clock when you’re both collapsed in one of the booths back away from all the commotion. Tequila really was a hell of a liquid, and probably should be kept far far away from people. It really made you do ridiculous things. Like straddle, your more than happy boyfriend in the middle of a public ass party. He grinned dopely at you and held you against him, his large hands grabbing wonderfully at your ass. What a shit show.

“Hey,” He sighed head flopping against your shoulder. “Thank you so much for coming with me tonight. I’m having so much fun.”

You giggled and kissed his forehead.

“Yea?”

“Yea….Look I--I always care what people think about me, and I always worry about everything around me but...when I’m with you I don’t care about any of that. So, I don’t care if I look dumb, just as long as I’m with you.”

“Well you don’t look dumb. You look happy. It’s a really good look for you. I just want you to be happy.”

“Then stay with me.” He mumbled pulling you even closer. “Stay.”

“Mkay.”

It wasn’t midnight yet, but you and Shawn worked on some fireworks of your own. It felt right to sit there, plum on his lap with his hands drawing circles into your back, or holding your face preciously in his hands to kiss you better. It felt less sloppily dunk, and more loving, more passionate. Like just being together was nourishing for the both of you. Like there was no reason to be partying when you could just be together instead.

When the clock strikes midnight you’re actually just tucked away in a corner, completely wrapped up in one another. If it’s any indication of how the new year will be, you can’t help but think maybe things will be alright after all.

*Shawn’s point of view*

The first day of the new year finds her in his bed and it’s everything he’s ever wanted. They’re less hungover than the first night they met, no vomiting to be had, so he can’t help but plaster himself against her body. She’s still naked from when they’d stumbled inside, drunk and hungry for each other. There’s a bloom of blues and purples on the side of her left breast and down the side of her stomach where he’d hadn’t been able to get enough. His mouth touches lightly at the skin watching her slowly wake up for him.

She hummed softly legs falling open for him to slide between. The skin of her stomach and thighs is so soft and smooth, his spine straightens when he slides against her. She’s just staring at him with sleep and lust filled eyes. How is he already hard?

“Morning.” She whispered a smile touching her face.

“Happy new year.”

Her fingers grace his hip before wrapping firmly around his hard on, and it feels just as good as it always does.

“Hmmm, again?”

“Sorry.” He whined hips bucking into her hand. “I just can’t get enough of you. I’m not usually like this, I swear.”

“Are you apologizing for wanting to have sex with me?”

“No? Yes? Maybe? I cannot think straight when my dick is in your hand, woman.”

“Yea? Would putting it in my mouth help at all?”

“I don’t know, but I think we should definitely give it a try!”

She gives him head in a way he’s never had before. For something she claims not to love, it is truly magical the way she moves her lips. Her mouth is warm and wet and she sucks him firm and sloppy. And every now and again, she’ll touch a spot right beneath his balls that without fail always makes him nearly blow his load. It’s so rude. And so fucking good.

When she slides off with a squelching plop and peers up at him with spit glistened lips, his brain completely melts.

“I’m wet as hell right now. Get in me.”

He nearly tumbles out of the bed reaching for the condoms in the bedside table. It would’ve been almost embarrassing if not for the immediate dread that descends upon him when there is nothing in his bed side table but an empty box. Fuckin tequlia.

“Goddammit!”

Her legs came up to wrap around his hips and her tongue is tracing his nipple like she’s painting a fucking work of art and WHY ARE THERE NO CONDOMS?

“What’s wrong baby?

He groaned tossing the box to the other side of the bed and gripping firm at one of her thighs around him.

“We’re out of condoms.”

She sucks a mark into his left pec, teeth grazing his nipple again, as if he did not just tell her the worst news in the whole wide world.

“Baby, did you hear me?”

“Mhm. Let’s just do it without one.”

His eyes widened quickly leaning his body above her to see her face better.

She giggled. “I love it when you plank on top of me.”

“I’m sorry, did you just suggest we have sex without a condom? You? The sex health queen? You once yelled about contraception to a bunch of random people in the club.”

“Trust me they needed it. And whenever I’m with new partners I always use condoms. Always. However, I’m on the pill too, and at this point I think I know you don’t have anything, so...why not?”

“I...I’ve never done it without one before.”

“I hear it’s pretty great. But we might not ever know as my vagina gets a little dryer every second we sit here talking about it.”

He bit his lip, hips dipping to skim against hers.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m so sure,” She hummed. “Put it in me.”

His friends had told him stories. They were dumbass stories and he’d never quite believed them. Something about the pull out method and the fact that without the condom it was supposed to be this otherworldly experience. He thought they were just idiots who were too lazy and stupid to put a condom on. Honestly he’d probably still stand by that rational but… the moment he slips inside of her is maybe the greatest physical pleasure he’s ever known. And he’s got no fucking clue how to handle it.

“Holy fuck, y/n.” He whimpered face digging desperately into her neck. “It feels so good.”

She giggled, just simply giggled, but the way it moved her body had him clenching up and grabbing roughly at her hips.

“W--Wait don’t move! Goddamn.”

“Are you close right now?”

“Y/n...I have never been this close in my life.”

She laughs again and without any conscious understanding he covers her mouth with his hand.

“Baby you can’t laugh, I’m gonna cum.”

Her eyes widen and she clenches down on him and he’s pretty much done for then.

“I’m sorry!” She sighed as his hips stutter again. “I didn’t know you covering my mouth would get me going, although that is definitely something we should explore at some point.”

He clenched the blankets in his fist and tried to take deep breaths, but even the way she was blinking at him was hard to watch. He felt like a teenaged boy all over again, completely not in control of his own body. It was all her, and her glorious, magnificent body’s fault.

“Look it’s okay. Just take care of yourself right now. I can tell you need it. We can worry about me later.” She hummed.

He snorted. As fucking if.

His girlfriend was a woman of many needs. And as sweet as it was to think she might grant him an orgasm, he knew better than to ever not reciprocate. So, he did only what he could. He attempted to make her have a mind shattering orgasm in five minutes or less.

He gripped so tight at her hips that there were bound to be marks when he was done, hips shuffling around in small instances trying to locate her g-spot much earlier than he usually would. Similarly, her fingers held roughly at his ass guiding him where she needed him to go and singing his praises when he did. Usually their love making was a little gentler. He was really into passion and holding each other close and orgasms that had them crying out into each other’s mouths. This. This was different.

Even in a state that felt like he was constantly one thrust away from losing it, he still was so her centered. It wasn’t about him getting to “finally” cum. It was about how good he could make her feel. And something about the time crunch meant he was more focused on her than ever. He just wanted her to feel the way that she made him feel.

When he finds that spot that has her toes curling against the back of his thighs, he grits his teeth and leans up to grab the headboard as he slams into her in a way he’s never done before.

“Holy fuck!” She gasped legs sprawling open in need. “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop!”

He bit his lip in concentration, slotting his leg over her thigh for leverage and pushing deeper into her body. A shiver racked her entire being and it was the sexiest fucking thing he’d ever seen. Her skin was flushed, lips swollen and wet, breasts bouncing with every slap of his hips against hers. He’d never wanted someone so much in his whole life.

She grabs at his ass again and lets out the most sinful sound when he rubs that spot inside of her that causes her back to arch out, and once again his whole fucking world is rocked.

“You’ve gotta cum for me.” He grunted. “I need to see this pretty pussy cum; babe, please.”

“Close. Really fucking close. Make me cum!”

Like that’s not what he’d been trying to do the whole goddamn time.

There’s a moment where he releases the headboard and grabs at her ass instead, flesh spilling from his palms as he gives her everything that he has. There’s a noticeable difference. Her moans get higher and more fragmented. She breathes harder and faster. And then her eyes roll back in her head and she stops breathing all together as she squirts all over his dick and her thighs. And try as he might, which he didn’t, there was absolutely nothing he could do at the sight of that but pull out of her just as he came his fucking brains out. He collapsed beside her each of them limp, sweaty, and covered in each other’s bodily fluids.

For a while they just pant and stare at ceiling. He wonders if she’s as fucking mind blown as he is. He wonders if she’s ever squirted for anyone else before, because she’d certainly never done it for him. He also sort of wonders how soon before she’ll let him have a crack at it again, because holy shit.

“Yo….what the fuck was that?” She giggled finally breaking him out of his own thoughts.

He peers over at her and she’s smiling, and just like that he wants to cuddle her into the mattress and never let go. How?

“Did you….was that…?”

She bit her lip. “You made me squirt. No one’s ever done that before.”

“Yea?” He murmured trying not to show just how happy that made him.

“It didn’t like...you’re not grossed out by it are you? Cause that’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my life.”

His eyes widened and he quickly shook his head at her.

“No. No, I’m not grossed out at all, babe. All I’ve been thinking about since you did it is how much I wanna make you do it again and again and again.”

She whined. “That’s so fucking hot. Get away from me.”

God he loved her.

When she eventually peels herself off the sheets and scratches at her sex-crazed hair, the bed almost feels emptier at the prospect that she might leave. There’s a small part of him that wants to pull her back, to be whiny and needy and desperate, maybe it’s bigger than he even wants to admit. But, he let’s her leave mostly because he still hadn’t regained all of the function in his body yet.

“I’m gonna make breakfast. You want?” She asked pulling an oversized sweater over her body when the fluids have been wiped away.

He nodded smiling softly. “Will you make those cinnamon swirl pancakes?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You always want the complicated shit. I’ll make you pancakes if you wash my hair for me in the shower.”

“How sweet of you to think I wouldn’t want to wash your hair anyway, but deal.”

She walked to the kitchen, her thighs--and the delightful little limp in her step--still a beautiful reminder of what they’d done just moments before. As soon as he regained feeling in his legs, he was going to go kiss that girl silly.

He was lying there still in eternal bliss when her scream came from the kitchen. And he tumbled out of bed yanking on boxers and grabbing the nearest weapon he could--one of his AMA awards--because surely someone was trying to break into his apartment with a scream like that. He slid into the kitchen on socked feet only to find his girlfriend staring at the TV with her hands over her mouth.

“Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack!” He groaned setting his award down. “What is going on?”

She simply points at the screen as if that will tell him everything. And unfortunately it sort of does.

“Shawn Mendes and his new boo were seen very snuggled up at the popstar’s New Year’s Eve party. An eyewitness from the party says they were all over each other. And from the looks of these pictures, they definitely were!”

It’s a super intimate moment of them in the corner. She’s straddling his lap and he’s grabbing her ass in a way that has all of his media training running down the drain. E! News is doing their very best job in making sure their audience can see as much detail as possible. The zoom ins, the continue flash of picture after picture. Who ever had snapped the shots had obviously taken them with the intent to sell, because why are there so many fucking shots of one moment of the entire night?

There’s video of it. Of them kissing. Of her apparently groping him in a not so friendly manner. It’s a PR nightmare for sure. But then it only gets worse.

“Fans were incredibly surprised to find out teen heartthrob Mendes was dating someone not famous, and some were even further confused by the woman’s appearance.”

And then it starts. And they start rolling tweets of these “fan” accounts saying the most awful shit. It’s like her worst nightmare right there in front of her and it’s all his fucking fault because every account has some aspect of him attached to it. Whether it’s his face as their profile picture, or his name in some random order in their twitter handle, it all feels like him. Like he might as well be standing in front of her yelling these terrible things at her.

When Shawn start dating fat girls tho?

I’m so confused???????? Shawn deserves better!

Damn y’all Shawn really out here dating anyone. Maybe us ugly girls got a shot after all?

He can’t turn the fucking tv off fast enough. But she’s just standing there, frozen, like it’s still on. Like she can hear what every piece of shit on the internet had ever said about her. And honestly he knows the feeling. The first two or three years of his career had been hell on his self-esteem, if he’d ever really built one up at all. Every time someone called him a girl, or made fun of his braces, of his hair, or his acne, or his body. The shit ran deep. It cut deep. But, he signed up for that. She didn’t. And that was the difference.

He wraps his arms around her when the first teardrop falls from her eye to her lip. His throat feels like it’s full of cotton and he gulps desperately as her pain finds its way to his heart. She’s shaking. And she seems smaller than he’s ever seen her. Like she’s caving in on herself. And why wouldn’t she? It didn’t matter how strong you were, or how confident you were about yourself. When all of these strangers on the internet are telling you something completely different? It’s only a matter of time before that seeps into your conscious.

“I’m so sorry.” he whispered squeezing her tightly. “Please don’t cry, baby? Please?”

He tried to pull her face into his hands, but she just shook her head at him. She was in pain. And it was all his fault.

“I love you so much. That was all bullshit, you don’t need to listen to them. Just listen to me, right now. Please?” He chanted steadily. “I love you. You are so incredibly beautiful to me. And you know that. You know how beautiful you are period. You’re a complete and total badass!”

Her nose was red, and her whole face seemed to be warming by the minute. He was prepared to go all night. To rattle off every single thing in this world that he loved about her, and there were many. But then, out of nowhere she just...stopped. She bit her lip and took a deep breath, and the tears might as well have soaked into her skin. All of that emotion. Gone. It was maybe the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen her do.

“It’s fine.” She whispered, voice hoarse. “I uh...I need to go home for a little bit, okay? I just--I’ll make your pancakes later, I promise.”

“Y/n,” He mumbled reaching for her as she pulled away from him.

She smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes. Hell, it barely reached her lips. it looked more like a grimace.

“It’s fine. Shawn, honest.”

“Why would you lie to me right now? Just let me help. Don’t close yourself off from me because of this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just need to go home for a little while.”

She stopped making eye contact, started gathering her stuff instead. And his heart breaks every time she picks a piece of herself up and tucks it a way. There’s a very scared, insecure part of his mind that wonders if she’ll ever come back. He was so far outside of his element and outside of his knowledge base, that he genuinely had no idea what to do. He didn’t know how to comfort her, he didn’t know what to say to make any of it better. And for that reason, he let her go, let her leave. No matter how much his body itched to hold her close.

He walked her to the door, his chest tightening with every step she put between them, and he tried one last time to get through to her.

“Will you please just...call me if I can help? If I can do anything. I--I can’t even begin to--I’m so sorry, y/n.”

She reached out to cup his cheek in her palm and he immediately fell into the warmth of her touch, gripped desperately at her wrist like it might somehow stop her from leaving him.

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered.

He bit his lip feeling the tears that were brimming angrily at the edge of his eyes.

“How come every time you tell me it’s not my fault, it feels like it is?” He chuckled dryly.

She doesn’t answer.

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Can I at least hug you goodbye?”

She paused. “I don’t...I don’t really wanna be touched right now. If that’s okay?”

He’s never wanted to cry so much in his life.

“Y--Yea. No, of course. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

And then she’s gone and it’s like she took the sun, and the moon, and her touch, and everything else good with her too.

****

@shawnmendes: friendly reminder that if you’re saying terrible things about my loved ones, I don’t consider you a fan. At all.

His phone and email had been going off all morning, but he figures if he never leaves the gym, he never really has to answer them. His girlfriend hadn’t answered a single text in hours. If he wasn’t getting answers, neither was Andrew. The E! News story had gone somewhat viral and it was definitely a thing now. She was hurting, and despite her explicitly telling him it wasn’t his fault, he hadn’t been able to rid the image of her face crumpling in the kitchen from his mind. He pushed the the incline on the treadmill up another level and adjusted his speed to make it harder, trying to fill his head with literally anything else but her suffering. He’d been down in the gym for two and a half hours and nothing was working. He just needed her.

His phone lit up and buzzed for the umpeenth time that morning only this time it was one of two people he’d actually answer for. He let the treadmill come to a grinding halt and picked the phone in his hand.

“Hey mum,” he panted. “Sorry! I’m at the gym.”

“Oh. Sorry to bother you, do you want me to call back later?”

“No. I uh--I’ve maybe overdone it a little bit today. I could use your voice in my head.”

The gym was completely empty so he didn’t feel so bad sliding himself down against one of the mirrored walls to talk to the only person who might be able to make it better somehow.

“Yea...Andrew called us today. Said he hasn’t been able to get a hold of you.”

He sighed. “Did he tell you why?”

“He did. How is she doing?”

The fact that she asked about his girlfriend made his mangled heart a little less damaged. His mum was just incredible in that way.

He pulled a little desperately at his sweaty hair and knew that he probably looked as defeated at he felt.

“She...I’ve never seen her look like that mum. She’s been so scared this whole time that people were gonna judge her, or think that we shouldn’t be together. And I kept spouting her this idealistic bullshit that no one would care, that it wouldn’t matter. It’s all my fault.” He muttered pinching his eyes shut as the tears came again.

“Oh Shawn you can’t take all that weight onto yourself, sweetheart. You only have power over yourself and over your actions. You don’t dictate how the world responds. It’s not your fault.”

He sniffled angrily. “But if I wasn’t who I was, she never would’ve looked like that. She never would’ve cried like that. I just wanna make her happy, but these people only want to hurt her because of me . . . Mum she wouldn’t even let me hug her this morning.”

His chin trembles a little bit and so he hides his face in his arm despite the fact that no one else is around.

“You and I both know that’s not what that was about.” She hummed softly. “Now listen to me. This morning was probably very hard for her, just as I imagine it was for you. And i think if you wanna be there for her right now, you’re gonna have to forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you did wrong. That pain that you’re feeling in this moment? The love that you have? That’s good, Shawn; that’s beautiful. Focus on that, not on what some box on the internet with your face attached said. That’s not you. The person with their heart on their sleeve is you.”

His mum was his rock. She had been his entire life, and a moment like that just solidified it. Sometimes when he’d been anxious when he was first starting out, she would just call him and talk to him until he could breathe normally again. And this felt like that. This felt like he was a little kid again just waiting for his parent to make it all okay again. The magical thing was that she actually did.

“She left this morning.” He murmured when he could find it within himself. “And I’ve wanted to go to her ever since. But I don’t...I don’t wanna make things worse than they already are.”

“I get that. Do you think she really wants the space?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think I know every thought she’s ever had. Other times I think I’ve never known anything in my whole life.” He admits.

“Why don’t you go to her. Show that you’re there if she needs it. She’ll tell you what she wants. All you can do is respect that. I’ll tell Andrew to maybe take it easy on you today okay?”

“Okay.”

“In the meantime, I think he would appreciate it if you stepped away from social media until your head is clear.”

He snorted. Andrew was lucky the initial draft of him quoting a Brendon Urie tweet that had in so many words told everyone who was rude to his loved ones to fuck off, hadn’t made the cut.

“Yea I’ll make sure to do that. . . Thanks mum. I love you.” He breathed.

“I love you too darling. Come visit us when this all gets cleared up, eh?”

“We will.”

It’s a long trek back to his apartment. There was a strain in his thigh, that told him he’d over done it. He almost went straight to her door only to catch a whiff of himself and quickly steered his way back to his apartment. The washing is rushed and half hazard. All he wanted was to get back to her. To be there with her. Nothing else really mattered in that moment. Not the label. Not Andrew. Not twitter. And for maybe the first time in his whole entire career, not even the fans. He was really experiencing tunnel vision, and that meant something incredibly important to him, because never had he ever felt that way before. That she was everything. But, she was everything.

When he gets to her door, he freezes. Despite the soothing voice of his mother, there’s still so much uncertainty that it’s startling. He didn’t know what he would do if she asked him to go away. It had only been maybe four hours, but it had felt like days. Every moment that she was hurting and he wasn’t doing anything about it felt like his own personal failure. So he just had to try to give her everything that he could. She deserved that much of him.

He knocked hesitantly and waited with bated breath. It’s perhaps the longest wait of his life.

When the door opens, his eyes do their best to take in her every atom. Her eyes are still red. She’d been crying within the last hour at least. She’s wearing a hoodie he bought her when he’d left Toronto for too long to not bring a gift back, back when they still had zero clue what they were to each other. It’s fluffy and white and the sleeves of it seem to be drenched in tears if the malformations in the fabric are anything to go off of. The lights inside her apartment are off. She still smells like lavender and lime from the night before. She sorts of looks like hell, but even then hell had never looked so good. His whole body ached to move forward, to grab and hold and touch, but he remembered the last thing she said to him and knew that it wasn’t his place at that moment

“Hi.” she mumbled hoarsely. “You made it five whole hours.”

He twisted anxiously at the ring on his finger.

“I’ve been in the gym the whole time. My legs hurt very much.”

Her eyes do that thing where they sort of brighten at any sign of danger. Her eyes look him over for any sign that he might be hurt and he almost wants to laugh, or cry, because who the hell cares about him right now?

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“Not really. Are you?”

“No.”

“Can I come in? I don’t need to be in the same room as you, if that’s not what you want right now. You don’t have to say a word to me at all I just….I just wanna be here. With you. Please?”

Her lip started to tremble and so she bit anxiously at it. She twisted at the door knob and blinked rapidly as her eyes welled up all over.

“Remember when I said I didn’t want to be touched?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

He doesn’t know how to quite describe the look on her face. It was like a crumpling. Like the skin of her face just caved and folded in on her self revealing this profound sadness that she’d been trying to lock away from him, from maybe herself. His heart broke like a scab bursting to let all of the pain and the ugly out again. She brought her hands up to cover her face and mumbled out through her sobs:

“Will you just hold me please?”

It’s the fastest he’s ever moved in his life, scooping her up in his arms that way. He exhaled this long, heady breath just feeling like he was sinking under the weight of her pain. She cried into his shoulder for a long while, so he cradled her there against his chest and just breathed. And he breathed and he breathed as if it might help anything, like it might get her to calm down.

When her sobs turned to hiccups he steered her gently in the direction of her bedroom pushing her softly beneath the covers. She liked to have as many blankets as humanly possible, and usually it had him sweating in the middle of the night, but for now there was no question. She stared at him with wide eyes when he didn’t immediately crawl in after her, so he reached for her hand and squeezed firmly.

“I’m just turning the aromatherapy on okay? I’ll be right back.”

It’s a little water diffuser that sits on top of her dresser. He’d gotten it for her for Christmas, when her old one broke. Eucalyptus quickly filled the air as he made his way back to her. They often times had tried to get as close as two humans physically could. Shawn liked to think they were sappy in that way, but today is a whole new level. He’s never held her so close. Never failed to see where his legs ended and hers began. Never intertwined their fingertips with such ferocity. But she needs him. And so he’s there. It’s just that simple.

“Will you do me a favor?”

He peered down at her, big brown eyes doing him in immediately.

“Anything.”

“Will you just sort of….smother me?”

“I’m sorry? N--No. No I am not going to smother you. I would never do anything to hurt you, ever.”

She snorted. “Not in a harmful, with a pillow kind of way, Shawn. Jesus! I meant more like in a put all of your body weight on top of me until I feel like I’m rooted to this earth again, kind of smothering.”

They’d had conversations before. Usually when they were high. She would tell him about this concept of floating. It was a defense mechanism apparently. The body experiences trauma and so it sort of leaves itself. It shuts down to protect the brain, so that you don’t remember. She’d experienced that sometimes in her life, but she never really knew how to come out of it. Her body sometimes didn’t want to. So, when she asks him to help root her, he gets it immediately. And he feels like an ass for making it seem weird, or like something he shouldn’t have to do. Of course he’d root her to the bed, if that’s what she needed.

“Oh. Oh, of course. Yea just...just tell me if I’m doing it right okay?”

She nodded moving slowly to her back and parting her legs for him to slide between. He was nervous that his long awkward limbs would squish her. And he kept trying to find ways to settle against her without hurting her. Eventually she must’ve gotten tired of his bullshit, because she tugged at his shirt until he lost balance and toppled on top of her. Before he could even find it within himself to be terrified, she let out her first giggle since that morning.

“See that’s all I wanted.”

*five hours later*

“I wanna shower.”

It’s the first thing she’s said in hours and it startles him a little bit, but there’s no way in hell he’s ever gonna tell her no.

It surprised him that she asked him to follow, asked if he’d still wash her hair for her. She’s still quiet throughout most of the process, but it’s like she’s waking up, slowly.

The next time she speaks is when she’s sitting on her bed brushing through her hair to detangle the strands.

“I wanna get a piercing I think.”

He’d just pulled on his underwear, but quickly plopped down beside her on the bed.

“A piercing?”

“Yea. Would you go with me?”

“Of course I would. When do you wanna go?”

“Now. And can we get food afterwards?”

He peered at her for a second trying to understand exactly what was happening. Was it a coping mechanism? Was it her way of saying fuck you to everyone? Was she covering her emotions up again? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t help but remember his mum telling him that all he could do was be there for her if she needed and wanted it.

“Can I?” He murmured pulling her brush gently from her fingers and resuming in detangling the strands. “I wanna understand better about what’s going on here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just...You didn’t talk for hours, babe. Which is fine. I want you to do whatever you need right now, but then all of a sudden you’re up and moving and the first thing you wanna do is get a piercing? I feel like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle here. I just want to understand.”

Her fingers reached for the necklace at the base of her throat, and it made his heart feel warm to see the swallow there.

“I just need to not think for a while. And I thought this might be a way to do that.” She whispered. “I didn’t meant to scare you.”

“I’m not scared. I just want to be there for you. If you want to get a piercing, let’s go get a piercing.”

She smiled shyly and and tucked her head against his. “And food?”

“And food.”

So they do. He takes her to some random shop in Toronto. She spends a long time looking at different studs and different rings. She points them out and asks him what he thinks and even if they all sort of look similar to him he tries to find the differences that might make her happy. She picks out this pretty rose gold flower and this tiny hoop. Suddenly she’s getting her nose pierced and a forward helix on her ear. It’s kind of badass.

“Are you gonna get one?” She asked as they waited for a worker to become available.

His eyes widened. “Should I?”

“Why shouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know...What would I get?”

“Hmm…”

And that’s how he ended up getting a piercing to make his girlfriend less sad.

“How does it look?” She asked wiggling her nose at him.

He grinned and ran his thumb gently along the bridge of her nose. They’d watched a Star is Born recently, and he kind of wanted to run his finger along her nose ever since. She closed her eyes and scrunched her nose and then whined when it hurt to do so. His heart fucking soared.

“You look adorable.” He murmured taking her face in his hands. “So pretty.”

She brought her hands up to cover his and smiled shyly at the ground.

“You sure you’re not just saying that?”

He shook his head. “I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”

“Mkay….Now it’s your turn!”

It hurts like a bitch. She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, and he assured her he’d be fine, but like….fuck.

The worker goes to get them cleaning solution and she runs her finger gently along the length of his ear where the helix now sticks out.

“I’m gonna be completely and totally honest with you right now. This is really getting me going.”

He chuckled hand resting on her hip. “Really?”

“Like...really, really. You could totally pick me up at a bar right now.”

“Are you insinuating that before this piercing I couldn’t have picked you up? You’re literally my girlfriend.”

She shrugged. “Yea, but like before the piercing who knows if you would’ve had the guts to take me. And now it’s like...damn daddy. You know?”

“No. No I don’t know. But I have a feeling you and my fans would get along much better than you think.” He snorted.

Shit. It didn’t even hit him that what he was saying was wrong until her face dimmed again.

“Hey, I’m sorry. Babe, look at me; I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think. I need to think more.”

She was still wearing the sweater he bought her and pulled gently at the sleeves till they covered her hands. She shrugged gently and played with the fabric.

“No biggie. What am I supposed to ask you to never bring them up again, just because they think I’m some hideous, fat slob. They’re at least a third of the way right.”

The worker comes back before he can try to dissect what she just said there, and his phone is ringing, because the world hates him.

“It’s Andrew. I’ve been ignoring him all day.”

“Go, take it. I’ll finish up here.” She assured him.

He reached into his wallet and handed the woman his card, squeezing softly at his girlfriend’s hand when she protested about him paying. Suddenly his phone call was a little more important.

“Hey.” He breathed stepping outside into the cold air. “I’m sorry I went ghost. I just...It got bad.”

“Yea, I talked to Karen. She kind of filled me in. How’s she holding up?”

He looked back through the window of the shop and he racked his brain for a way to explain it.

“I--I think we’ll be okay. I don’t know, her coping mechanisms are much different than mine. She secludes where I just wanna talk about everything. So I’m just trying to understand. And trying to figure out how this isn’t my fault, I think.”

“Shawn--”

“I don’t really wanna discuss it right now. If that’s okay?” He mumbled.

Andrew laughed softly. “Kinda contradicts what you just said, now doesn’t it?”

“Yea. Yea, I guess maybe she’s rubbing off on me a little. But like...this isn’t about me, Andrew. It’s about her. And she’s hurting right now. So, it feels like I should be doing everything in my power to make sure that’s not the case anymore, ya know?”

“I understand. We can be okay with that. Do you want me to update you on what your schedule looks like in the next couple of weeks though?”

“Sure.”

She comes outside while Andrew is speaking and wraps her arms around him. He runs his fingers along the bridge of her nose again, and she smiles.

“I have you back in California next week to begin tour rehearsals and Grammy rehearsals.”

“Next week as in when?”

“As in Monday, bud.”

He looks into her eyes and shakes his head.

“Can we push it back?”

Andrew sighed. “Shawn. Grammys are really important here. Miley was prepared to begin on Monday.”

“I will call Miley and personally apologize. I’ll send some flowers or something. Please, push it back, Andrew.”

“What are you doing?” She whispered eyebrows hitching upward.

“I can try to get you there Friday, but that is the latest I can do. You have to be in California.”

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead, but didn’t answer.

“Friday. I can be there by Friday. Thank you. How long am I in California?”

There are fittings to be had. Photoshoots. Tour meetings. Sound checks. Studio sessions. Meetings with the label. Meetings with Andrew. Meetings with the merch people. Meetings with his stylist for tour outfits. And somehow he was gonna have to to make it all happen. It was just different now. She was different.

He made a promise to talk to Andrew later before quickly getting off the phone. He wrapped his arms tightly around her nuzzling their heads together.

“So, dinner? I guess we kind of missed breakfast and lunch.”

“Don’t do that. What did you just do right now?”

He shrugged. “I chose you.”

“What does that mean?”

“I decided that I wanted to prioritize our relationship over everything else. I decided that you mean more than the meetings or the flights, or the endorsements. You come first.”

She bit her lip. “Shawn you don’t need to do that for me. I know I lost my cool today, but I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”

“It’s not just for you, honey. I just...I’m just doing what my heart is telling me is right. And my heart is telling me that I’m supposed to be here, right now. Not California. Not in some rehearsal room. Not in a fancy music exec’s office. But with you. So let’s get some dinner, okay? And try to salvage what is left of this day.”

She looks up at him with inquisitive eyes like she’s trying to find a hidden meaning somewhere. But there isn’t one to be had. He simply loved her. That was all. It couldn’t get more honest than that.

“I don’t ever want to get in the way.” She murmured squeezing the fabric of his shirt between her fingers. “I want music to always be what you need it to be, Shawn. I--I’m just learning. I’m trying to mold myself to this life that you have here. And it is...really fucking hard if I’m being honest. And I get why. I knew going into this, that what I am might not make sense for you.”

“Don’t say that. You make all the sense in the world.” He told her fiercely. “I love you. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

She smiled sadly. “I think so. I want it to be so. But, I say all of that to say that...I wanna like, be a part of your life. And so I’ll figure out how to adjust. Just, please be patient with me. You don’t need to change your life for me.”

He let his fingers come up to skim along the length of her neck before he gripped softly at her cheek. Her hand came up to rest over his and all he wanted was to kiss her until the sun came up.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind. Just as long as you keep in my mind that I’ve never met anyone more deserving of changing life around for.”

“Okay.” She mumbled, the corners of her mouth dipping slightly up.

He smiled. “We should probably stop somewhere and get condoms too, because as beautiful as this morning was I’d like to last more than ten seconds with you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Awww you lasted at least twenty, babe.”

Funny.

Taglist: @kitykatnumber @lou-and-me @ourlittleshawnie @mutuallynotmutual @wanderingmendes @peacedolantwins2 @chels-nyc @@illloveyouforever1 @justbeingoceana @grittyisathot @hayyitsfayy @claredolphinbear24 @september-lace @grittyathot @literallyshawn @mchutchmendes

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fic #Shawn mendes fanfic #Shawn mendes fan fic #Shawn mendes smut #Shawn mendes series #Shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes angst #Shawn mendes au #Shawn mendes x y/n #Shawn mendes x you #Shawn mendes x female reader #Shawn mendes x fat reader #Shawn mendes blurb

310 notes · View notes

looselucy · 5 years

Photo

Eye of the Storm

January 15th I’d invited Libby around with every intention of cooking for her, talking through things, and the two having a nice evening together. She’d been there for all of twenty minutes, and the two of us were laying side by side on my bed, half asleep.

“Don’t fall asleep.” She grumbled, sounding like she was already asleep, my eyes closed as I groaned. “I’m bloody tired though.” “Mm. Same. I’ve still gotta do a shift at work. Can’t be arsed.” The gentle rain tapping against the window didn’t help the situation. It was soothing, the sky dark and my lamp barely giving a glow to my bedroom. Everything seemed to be encouraging slumber. But I knew it wouldn’t last. As tired as we were, Libby wanted answers about what had happened on Saturday night, and I’d sort of implied that I would give her those answers. It was much easier said than done. I had zero plans about telling her what had been going on with me and Harry for the past few months, why I believed he was as protective of me as he was, why he’d felt the desire to go after Sam in the way he had, but I did plan on telling her about the lessons he’d been giving me, and the events that had lead me to ask him for those one on one sessions in the first place. “Did you speak to Louis?” She asked. I opened one eye, hating the chime of hope in her voice, because it said to me that the more she’d thought about it, the more she’d realised what she actually wanted, what she’d wanted him to say, what the two of them really meant to one another. I took a deep breath in, my nerves so obvious in my inhale that she opened her eyes. I could see how uneasy she was. “He… He doesn’t wanna ruin anything.” I told her. “He said… He enjoyed the kiss, and that there’s chemistry, but… I don’t think he wants it be anything more than that. M’sorry.” “What? Don’t be sorry.” She was faking her ease over the situation, brushing it off, huffing, tutting. “That’s fine! I told you I didn’t even know what I wanted. I’m fine! I feel the same, that’s fine. I’m totally fine with that.” I subconsciously poked my bottom lip out, which probably made her even more defensive, which was the opposite of what I wanted. I didn’t want to open up the idea I’d had that Louis was snubbing his own feelings, doing the sensible thing that his head desired rather than listening to the wants and needs of his heart. I didn’t want to tell her I’d picked up on vibes that there really was this part of him that wanted more, because I didn’t want to give her any false hope. I could have been wrong, seeing things that weren’t there, so I didn’t want to plant a seed for it not to grow into something beautiful. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” She bolted, propping herself up and glaring at me. “I’m fine.” “I’m not looking at you like anything!” I cried. “You’re fine, I hear ya!” “He’s right. That’s good! I don’t wanna ruin anything either. It’s best to… leave it be. This is good. That’s what I wanted, definitely.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, whatever. Good. Fine. That’s literally what I wanted to happen.” “So what happened to wanting to… get him drunk and kiss him again?” “Yeah, that was the idea on Saturday, but then Harry punched Sam right in the damn face and messed up my plan for the evening, to be honest.” Her eyes were wide, probably glad to have such an easy way to change the conversation. “So c’mon! I don’t wanna talk about me and Louis anymore, I wanna talk about whatever the hell happened between those two and why it happened.” Of course she wanted to steer the discussion elsewhere, and it wasn’t that the topic of her and Louis was something I wanted to stick with, but it definitely seemed more appealing than talking about Harry and Sam. I rolled my eyes and turned to face the ceiling, resting my hand on my forehead. “God, where do I start?” “With why the hell Harry would do that, preferably.” I wished I’d done what I usually did with situations like that and asked Louis to share the news on my behalf, so I didn’t have to have this conversation. I was kicking myself for that. “It’s because… Sam… Urgh. So… Okay. It was after we’d broken up, just before he left, he came round to mine. He was off his face and he… He-” “Hurt you?” She prompted, remembering both Sam’s and Harry’s words from Saturday night. “Yeah. In my own fucking home. He went after me in my own fucking home just because I wouldn’t kiss him.” “I’ll fucking kill him.” “Yep. So that’s why Harry… did what he did.” “Okay, rude that Harry’s known about this for however many months and I’m only just learning about it.” She huffed, and I giggled. “What’s that about?” “I went to him asking for extra classes.” “What? Why?” “Because I didn’t do anything!” I wailed, sitting up to face her. “Sam had me… up against the fucking wall, scared out of my mind, and I didn’t do anything.” I could feel myself getting worked up, close to tears. “I just froze up, and I hated it. I felt so weak and horrible, and everything Harry’s taught us… I couldn’t do it. It messed with my head so much, it was horrible, Libby. It was so fucking horrible.” “Oh, Alf, I’m sorry.” She seemed upset, and I hated that. Libby didn’t get like that, she wasn’t emotional that way, she didn’t get like that often. This was one of the many reasons I’d been avoiding this exact interaction, because seeing her getting upset only made me cry more than I already had been. “I trusted him.” I lay my hand on my chest. “I knew our relationship hadn’t been good, but… I didn’t think he’d do that. I trusted him, and he shattered it, and I couldn’t do anything other than be fucking scared. It’s pathetic.” “It’s not pathetic!” She fought. “It’s the opposite. It’s you still having a conscience and not stooping to his level, that’s what it is. You care about him and you couldn’t hurt him in the way he hurt you, and that’s not a bad thing.” “It is a bad thing, Lib! Of course it is. If someone attacks me in my own home, I shouldn’t care whoever the fuck it is. I should be able to stand up for myself, no matter what, and I didn’t. I couldn’t. And I’m more haunted by that, than I am with what he did to me. I felt so weak, so I went to Harry. I didn’t even… I didn’t even say it was Sam, he just knew.” “Seriously?” She seemed amazed. “I would have never thought he’d… get aggressive like that. How the hell did Harry know?” “I dunno. I guess… Sam always showed his worst side when Harry was around. That’s all Harry saw of him.” “That’s true, fair point.” She sighed. “So he gave you extra classes?” “Yeah. He’s… He was amazing. He’s been amazing, and really lovely and supportive and… I dunno.” Talking about Harry made my heart ache, especially in such a positive way. My head was a total mess because I’d been consistently attempting to make sure he was not the most dominant thought I had, to make sure he wasn’t my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I was failing. “Fuck, no wonder he snapped.” Libby finally understood Harry’s reaction to seeing Sam. “I did not expect him to be like that though.” “Me neither.” “He must be really protective of you.” “I think he’s like that with everyone. I think he’s just… a very caring person.” “Hm. I guess so, but that’s next level. Have you like, gotten close? In your classes with him?” I looked down to the bedsheets, clutching and playing with them between my fingers, wishing I knew how to reply to that, wishing I knew whether we were close or whether I’d merely convinced myself we were. I shook my head, defeated, sad. “Not really.” I answered.

I had been stood by my bedroom window for almost half an hour, watching the skies, my chest heaving, mind racing, gnawing at my bottom lip until it was practically swollen. I could see lightning tearing through the clouds, roaring and threatening our tiny village. All I could think of was Harry. I wanted it to stop. It was quite late, and I’d been stood watching the skies create malevolent light just praying it would end, so then I wouldn’t have to worry, I wouldn’t feel so trapped, I wouldn’t feel like my whole body was being set alight, burning up and making my insides whir. It wasn’t stopping. “Fuck. C’mon, please.” I begged to the skies. “Please stop.” I kept picturing him, imagining what he was going through, recalling how he’d been when I’d witnessed his distress during the last thunderstorm we’d had. Things were far too complicated between us. I hadn’t seen him since the fight on Saturday night, and I hadn’t wanted to see him, not really. I missed him, and I wished things could be simple between us, and in that sense, I was desperate to see him, but things weren’t that simple. Not seeing him was good, not being around him and falling for him even further was good. I needed the space, and I’d wanted as much of it as physically possible, but picturing him in his home, terrified, lonely, it felt morally wrong to sit there and do absolutely nothing. I didn’t know whether or not my comforts had helped the last time, but he’d let me stay and he’d held my hand and we’d shared a bed, and that was enough of a sign for me to believe company was better for him than his solitude was. I couldn’t help myself. “Fuck this.” I was out the door in seconds, taking nothing with me, not even having the sense to put on a coat to protect me from the harsh weather, I was in too much of a rush. I needed to get to him. Nothing else mattered. I ran. From my place to his, I ran, the rain soaking me through and the lighting feeling as though it was meeting the ground only inches away from me. It had never bothered me before, not really, but I understood his fear. I could make sense of why it affected him, maybe not to the full extent, but even being outside in it gave me a feeling of complete unease. It had its own presence, a power, an energy beyond anything else. The pathway down to his home was incredibly dark, making what was an already trying journey even more ominous, but at least the trees had stopped the rain from soaking me through. His home had never seemed like more of a haven than it did then. Not only did I want that blatant protection that came with being indoors during storms like that, but he was there, and I’d never wanted to see him more. He was the haven I was searching, and I hoped that I could be his. I bolted up onto his porch, tugging at his door handle expecting it to be locked, then unbelievably grateful to see it wasn’t. “HARRY?” I called as soon as I was indoors, slamming the door behind me. “HARRY, IT’S ME, WHERE ARE YOU?” Rushing, verging on hysterical, I glanced through into his living room, seeing it was empty, and then I went straight upstairs, breathless, tripping up once before I found my feet again, running straight to his bedroom, trusting my gut. That’s where I found him. He was crouched down in the corner of his room, right next to the window, between all the plants, in his boxers and nothing else, head between his knees, fingers wound in his hair. I wondered if he found some sort of comfort being surrounded by those plants. I’d expected to walk in and see that he’d buried himself beneath his duvet to block it out, but instead he’d weaved his way between the leaves and lodged himself in the very corner of the room. I darted over to him, lacing around the plants so I could fall to my knees directly in front of him, tears in my eyes. “M'sorry, I’m here.” I gasped, though he still hadn’t lifted his head to see me. “I’m here, it’s okay.” He let out a sob, but then he reached for me, searching for my touch. I took his hand in mine, our fingers locking together tightly. Every inch of his body was trembling, and I could see the tears falling from his eyes and landing on his legs, his grip impossibly taut. I didn’t have any words, nothing to summon upon the situation to make it any better, but at least I was there. Staying at home and allowing him to battle his demon alone was not an option. It wasn’t any easier this second time around. If anything, it was worse. We were both so powerless, all we had was each other. All we had was the touch of our skin, the grasp we had on each other, and the trust we shared. I couldn’t foresee the relationship we’d have in the coming weeks, months, years. I couldn’t even begin an attempt to visualise our future, but I did know that there was a trust there, a bond we’d created over the past few months that went beyond any argument, any secret, any fear. “When will it stop?” He bawled. “It won’t stop.” “It’s gunna stop soon, I promise.” I sounded so assertive, in spite of how unsure I really was. “I-I don’t even know if you want me here, but-” “NO, don’t leave.” His panic over the thought of me leaving him on his own was what made him lift his head, snapping his neck upwards and then yanking me closer to him, altering his body so that he could drag me to him, right between his legs, still on my knees, our foreheads soon meeting. “Please don’t leave me, please.” “Okay, okay. Shh, shh, I’m here.” I whispered, reaching to clutch his cheek, wiping away his tears. “I won’t go, I promise. I’ll stay for as long as you need.” In moments like that, where I was feeling so helpless, so concerned, I would have stayed forever if he’d asked me to. As tenderly as I could, I caressed my thumb continuously against his cheek, wiping his tears away as much as I could, convinced that he was soothing to a certain degree, but I imagined that was purely wishful thinking. I kept wondering whether I should suggest we get in bed, hide beneath the duvet as though that would save him, but I imagined he’d chosen that spot purposefully. There must have been something about being within that greenery that made him feel as protected and sheltered as he possibly could. He had his head facing downwards, his eyes gripped shut, but I barely blinked. I kept my eyes on him, witnessing his torture, still not breathing properly. Another bolt hit the floor, lurid, loud, and he winced, his legs tightening against my shoulders, keeping our bodies close, mine constricted by his. “I’m so sorry this is happening.” I finally released a garish sob, my body aching with this unparalleled longing to protect him. “I’m so sorry this happens to you. I hate seeing you like this, it kills me. It fucking kills me.” I broke, weeping ruthlessly, immobilised and helpless and weak. Seeing him so feeble and the sensation of what that did to me was just another reminder of how profound my feelings were, how much I cared for the boy, and that made the ache over the experience even more severe. I felt so trapped in my own emotions. Of course I wanted to be there for him, care for him, be whatever he needed to be whenever he needed it. But then being around him just made things even more difficult, made even the thought of moving on from him and getting over him seem outright impossible. My heart was at war with itself, and in those moments, I felt that no matter the outcome, the battle would surely be lost. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. The storm didn’t seem to be letting up, which meant that Harry was still rigid with fear, still weeping quietly, and the sight was truly scarring. “I can’t do this anymore.” He howled lowly. “I… I can’t.” “If I could do more, I would. I’d do anything, I…” I sighed, dropping my head further. “I-I’m sorry.” I felt so lost, so disconcerted, not sure what I could say to him. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and continue to put him in a difficult position, but I was struggling even being around him without being overly affectionate, showing him how fond I was in ways that could have made him feel worse, and I didn’t want that. But it was clear he wanted me there, for whatever reason. And I wanted to stay.

We’d been completely silent for a long time. Somehow, we’d ended up in his bed together. I had my head on his chest, watching out of the window, scowling at the rain that tapped against the glass, as though I thought the storm might sneak up on us once again, harm him once again. He was running his fingers through my hair, his actions on loop. He was calm again, quiet, either soothed by his repetitive actions, or hoping to soothe me. Maybe it was both. I’d managed to pull him to his feet when we hadn’t heard any thunder for quite a while, leading him over to his bed, our hands not having parted the entire time. Dazed, he’d practically fallen into his bed, and that was when I thought our night would end, that was when I thought our touches would break. I thought we’d part ways, but he hadn’t let it happen. He'd kept my hand in his, even tightening his grip, and he’d basically pulled me into the bed with him, without a word shared. It must have been almost an hour since that had happened, and neither of us had said anything. I really didn’t feel like there was much we could say. I could hear the faint beat of his heart, and that felt like enough. I liked being there with him, even with that silence and the overwhelming aspect of what I’d shared with him at the beginning of the year. Being around him, being in his bed, being close to him, it all felt so right. I suppose it was nice to be around him and be completely calm, because it felt as though it had been such a long time since we’d had that. There had been arguments, tears, traumas, tensions, and it was good to be around him and just breathe, absorb his aura and nothing else. We’d needed that peace. We’d needed to feel so still around each other, because we hadn’t been that way for far too long. I felt okay. My eyes were still gazing forward, feeling weary, when Harry broke the silence. “I… I used to stand out in thunderstorms with my dad.” He mumbled quietly. “He said he liked the way they made him feel. And I guess… it felt like it… it was the only time I ever saw him feel anything.” I twisted by body so that I could face him fully, take him in fully, because it was happening. He was about to open up to me and I knew it. It was finally happening and I barely knew what to do with myself. He was looking down towards his feet rather than at me, not at ease, but he was trying, and I knew that soon he would feel so much better. I nodded, encouraging more. “He was… He was so ill.” He brought his eyes to mine. “I… I don’t really have any memories of him being happy. He just couldn’t… He couldn’t… Fuck. He- I’m…” “It’s okay.” I whispered gently. “Take your time.” He'd gotten worked up quickly, his chest jolting and his breath jutting, struggling to talk, which didn’t surprise me. All I wanted, was to be calm, approachable, not scare him off. He needed to take his time and do this properly, because I imagined this was a pain he’d been dealing with on his own for years. I had to view it as an honour, that he was willing to talk to me, and I needed to handle it in the best way I could. He took a few moments, closing his eyes, steadying his breath. “He was so ill, and so depressed, that… it was like he was never really there. He was so absent all the time, like… he was a stranger in his own body. But I remember when the weather got like this, he’d just wanna stand in it, take it in, feel something. So I used to go with him. He’d hold my hand and look up to the sky and just… embrace it. And I just used to stare up to him, because… it felt like the only time I got to see him actually be able to… make sense of what he was feeling.” I think I was in a state of shock, and he’d only just begun sharing himself. But this wasn’t something small, this wasn’t a tiny detail he was divulging just to tide me over. What he sharing with me was significant, so much so I already had tears in my eyes. “We tried so hard, for so long. We did everything we could, to try and… make him feel better, for him to… be able to be happy and manage his illness in the best way he could, but… it didn’t work. Nothing worked.” He wiped away a tear quickly. “And he did everything he could, too. I think him and my mum thought that having kids, and him being a dad… I think they thought that would save him, and give him this new purpose, and it would… be this amazing thing for him that helped him feel better. But I think that was… simplifying it too much. You can’t belittle a mental illness like that, you can’t think of it as something that can just be fixed, by someone or something. It’s more than that. There’s no fucking quick fix, and I think my mum knew that, deep down, but…” I reached for his hand once again, our fingers linking up, slotting together perfectly. I couldn’t begin to imagine the struggle they’d faced. Someone’s mentality is so difficult to understand, and even talking to professionals or researching can be so ineffective, because it’s impossible to feel exactly what someone else is feeling, to completely understand exactly how their brain works. It isn’t an illness where you can scan a body to spot the symptoms, operate on it, cut it out and know the exact process. It’s different for every single person, varied through every heart and every mind. You can do everything you can for another person, try to heal them with every inch of your being, but in some cases, the pain can run too deep, so far out of everyone’s control. There was no one to blame, but I could tell even from the tone of his voice, that Harry and his family had found a way of blaming themselves. “And then one day, I’d been… playing out with my brother, and then it started to thunder. We fucking ran home, we couldn’t wait to see him. We were so excited to see him just… smiling, anything. We went home, and… I remember watching my brother open the door to the hallway leading to the stairs and he… froze. He completely froze. I-I went to try and see what it was but, he pushed me away. He backed me into the corner of our living room and put me on the floor and just covered my body with his. I was… ten, but I knew. I fucking knew and I was shaking so much and my brother just… He was just crying out for my mum, and I kept asking what he’d seen. I kept asking him over and over again but I fucking knew.” His skin was reddening, body quaking. “And I shouldn’t have even understood that, when I was so young, but I did. I knew that he’d found our dad and I knew that he’d…” I could tell from the way he was that his memories of that day were still crystal clear in his mind. He broke, resting his hand over his eyes as though trying to block the images. His tears were heavier, and he could no longer fight them. “My dad couldn’t see any other way out, and he… He hung himself, and my brother was the one who had to find him. He was twelve. How the fuck can anyone get over something like that?” I covered my mouth with my hand, unable to even comprehend that pain they’d gone through, not only with their years of battling his depression at his side, but that experience alone. I couldn’t even imagine the strength his brother had to intentionally hide Harry from that additional pain of seeing the way their father had chosen to take his own life. Thunderstorms had once been such a positive thing for him, something he anticipated, because he got to see his father actually feel something, experience real emotions. I couldn’t imagine how much it haunted them, not only that they’d been happy to see the storm that day, that they’d been running home to see him, but knowing his father was in atmosphere that made him as happy as he possibly could be, and that was still the time when he decided to end his suffering. He stopped it, in the only way he thought he could. Even his very happiest, was not enough. “And whenever the weather gets like this… it’s like I’m ten again.” He told me, dropping his hand and looking me in the eye. “It takes me right back to that moment, that feeling. I get so scared, and it’s like I can’t fucking breathe, like I’m… being crushed. I can see it all and hear it all and I’m right there and I hate it. I can’t get past it.” He winced, squeezing my hand. “All we wanted to do was save him, and we couldn’t. We did everything, and it wasn’t enough. And I feel like I’ve spent my whole fucking life trying to make up for that. I’ve been trying to make things right, but I can’t.” “It wasn’t your fault.” I gasped shakily. “It’s no one’s fault.” “But what if we could’ve done more? I would’ve looked after him every day for the rest of my life if that was what he needed, so why did he feel that alone? Why was that his answer? What if there was more that we could’ve done, but we didn’t?” “That kind of thing… it’s out of all control, Harry.” I spoke desperately, praying that he’d hear me, that some of the guilt that had been tied around his neck since he was ten years old would loosen, lift away, free him. “It was out of his control, and it was definitely out of yours. You were a child! How could you even understand that? You can’t blame yourself for what happened.” “But-” “You couldn’t have done more.” “You don’t know that.” “I do! Even from the way you’re talking, I do.” I fought, confident in my words. “No one could have expected more from any of you. I can tell from the way you are that you did everything you could for him, and I know he loved you so much. He might not have been able to say it, but I know he appreciated everything you did for him. You were what helped him fight for all those years.” He nodded weakly, truly trying to imbibe the things I was saying to him. Harry suddenly made sense to me in ways he never had before. His caring nature, how fixated and almost obsessive he became when it came to other people taking care of themselves, dealing with their emotions, being open and honest. It was even evident with the plants he’d placed in his bedroom; he had told me they were there because he liked having something to look after, and now I could see why. He was always looking to care for people in the ways he wished he could still be doing for his father. He was compensating for the way things had been when he was too young to fully understand what was happening. He was trying to make amends with his own soul and his false, misplaced culpability, and it had driven his life completely. Everything from his classes to his bedroom décor, was based around a guilt he never should have felt in the first place, a longing to do what he could for others who were struggling. “You can’t blame yourself for someone being ill.” I became gentle. “You don’t deserve to feel like this.” I wondered if he was even aware of how much it all affected him. It was rather clear he knew it had influenced his life choices, but I wondered if he was fully aware of how detrimental it had been when it came to his own emotions, his own struggles to share and be honest about how heavy his heart was, and had been for the majority of his life. He knew how to help others, but he had no idea how to help himself. “It’s okay to talk about this.” I said. “It’s good to talk about it.” “It doesn’t feel it.” He whimpered. “But it will.” I managed to smile through tears. “I promise, it will.” I didn’t want to turn the conversation around on me, even as a reflection of his current situation, because Harry had been homing this hurt for so many years, that night and that moment deserved to be his and his alone. But before he’d come to our village and learnt about what had happened to my mother, I had shut it out for years. Of course, it was nothing compared to the time he had spent sheltering his troubles, but he had been the one who made me feel okay about talking, dealing with it. Those initial moments felt impossible, gut-wrenching, but the aftermath of facing my demons had been beyond liberating. He had that to come, and I knew that. And the reason I knew that, was largely thanks to him. “Fuck.” I dropped my head. “I don’t want this to be hard for you, I really don’t. And I don’t want you to feel like I… pushed you into this, or-” “That’s not how I feel.” He spoke calmly. I lifted my head hesitantly, brushing some hair from my face, spotting that he seemed to now be breathing at a regular pace. “It’s not?” “C’mere.” He ticked his head back, ushering me to him. I moved closer, shuffling a little further up the bed so he could take my jaw within his hand, brushing over my cheek with his thumb. The contact made my stomach wind, closing my eyes and nudging into his touch, wondering if he’d ever been quite so gentle with me. I reached up and wiped away his tears, his eyes locked with mine, like he was fascinated by me, like he couldn’t look away even if he tried. “I’ve never felt this close with someone before, Fee.” He spoke, after a deep breath. “Never.” Every inch of me tingled, heated, releasing this sigh that had been stuck in my chest for the past fortnight. I opened my eyes, seeing that he still had a few tears trapped in his, but he wasn’t wiping them away. He just looked at me. I turned my head, kissed at his hand, then looked back to him. “I can’t lose this.” He went on. “And I’m not telling you all of this because it’s what you need to hear, I’m telling you because… I’ve never been able to say any of this out loud, to anyone. But with you, I can. That has to mean something.” Even though I knew that saying it all out loud had hurt him, made his body sting in ways he’d never wanted to experience, he had been able to say it, and he knew how much that meant. He knew the significance of it. He trusted me. He trusted us. He trusted that feeling. “You can tell me anything. I hope you know that.” I whispered. He seemed unsure, biting briefly at his lip, but as long as he knew, and as long as he was taking steps, no matter how small, I’d be there beside him to help and watch him grow. Slowly, his grip on my jaw tightened, just the right amount so he could pull my face towards his, unhurried, serene, our lips soon landing together perfectly. I had missed kissing him. I’d missed everything about him, the good and the bad. I simply felt better being around him than I did not, and for the first time since things had started between us, I believed he felt the same way. Our mouths moved in harmony, my fingers searching through his curls as his hands moved down to grab at my waist, hitch me over to him so I could swing my leg and straddle him. I still couldn’t be too sure where we stood, what was happening between us, but there was something there that neither of us wanted to turn away from. Neither of us could stand the thought of losing what we had, and we were going to explore whatever it was. We’d attempted to turn away from it, forget it, but it hadn’t worked. You can’t simply neglect something like that, something so strong. We were drawn to one another, moth to the flame and storm to the sea. “I missed you.” I gasped against his lips, emotional, drained. I distanced from him, sitting upright and cusping my fingers at the bottom of my dress so I could pull upwards and remove it from my body with speed, bending my arms in an attempt to remove my bra before Harry reached out for me, leaning up so he could rest his hand at the back of my neck, pull me back down to him, his head landing back on the pillow, our lips so close they were just about touching, glazing over each other. “I don’t wanna sleep with you,” He told me. “I just wanna be with you.” I looked deep into his eyes, seeing more of him than I ever had before, and then nodded as I noticed how exhausted he seemed. He didn’t have it in him, and that wasn’t at all surprising considering what he’d just told me, how open he’d been about something he’d kept locked up for years. And then maybe there was that part of him that didn’t want to tie sex to an evening that was so much more than that. We’d been guising our connection with sex for so long, maybe he really did want things to be different, to feel different, to admit and accept that it was much more profound than we’d been able to acknowledge before. I kissed him again, tender and mild, still sort of in shock that he’d actually opened up to me, shared with me. There were a million things I still wished to know about him, questions that hadn’t been answered, but that didn’t matter. I had something, and more importantly, Harry’s burden had been lifted; he’d worked up the courage to share his pain and couldn’t wait until the agony of talking had passed and he could feel the liberation of it all. We kissed until my lips were swollen. We kissed until the rain stopped. We kissed until sleep was inevitable, at which point he swept me into his arms, wrapping them around my waist to make sure I remained close to him, the tips of our noses touching. My sleep was finally a peaceful one once more, and I hoped his was too.

#good luck #also this chapter has my ultime HBS song tied to it #I'll add it tonight and yell about it #HBS26 #EEEEEEEEP

252 notes · View notes

mightyfineblog · 5 years

Text

Christmas Roger Taylor/Ben Hardy x Reader

‘Santa Baby’

This is a Christmas special one-shot imagine.

Summary: Roger x Female Reader’s first Christmas as a couple. He’s been away for long, and you both missed each other much. A few delightful days spend together in the Christmas of 1974.

Mood: Earhta Kitt - ‘Santa Baby’

Words: 3K

SMUT, fluff, teasing, language, anticipation

Enjoy:

In the windy December of 1974, London wasn’t the nicest place on earth. Snow and rain were howling on the streets, the sky was grey. Fireplace blasting, the cracking of the wood whispering Christmas. You were snuggling on the sofa with your warmest blanket, drifting to sleep.

Queen had just released their third album and were touring since October. Three painful months without Roger. Sure, you talked often, accommodating each other over the phone. Still, the distance is agonising.

“How many more shows do you have left?” trying not to sound discouraging you tangle the cord between your fingers.

“We’re only halfway through the world.” Deep breath “Buuut..” he teases. “I might have some good news” he teases, waiting for your response.

“Listening”

“Oi, Rog, you done with the phone? We gotta make some calls too” you hear Brian anxiously shouting from the receiver. He chuckles.

“So? What is it?” you eagerly ask.

“I’ll be home this Christmas” his low and soft voice, healed your soul.

You cry enthusiastically “Jesus Christ! I can’t wait to put my hands on you, to feel your lips on mine, to touch your hair and to…”

“Whoa, whoa, baby, calm down” he laughs, “Let’s finish this later, when I get to the hotel, okay?”

You tremble “Can’t wait to have you back home”

“Me too, petal. Just the two of us… After two weeks, all of us are coming to London, to spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve.”

“Can’t wait! Will be waiting for youu...” you pout girly.

“You sure will. I gotta go, but I’ll call you later. Bye darling, love ya.”

“Of course you are. Love ya too.”

Two weeks have passed and you have only a few days until Christmas day to prepare everything. You hung mistletoe everywhere you saw fit.

Then carefully crafted some Christmas crackers. Since it was going to be just you two for Christmas dinner, you wanted it to be special.

It is the morning of Christmas Eve, you energetically jump off the bed and start running some house work. You put a holiday record and dance your way around the house, counting the minutes until Roger arrives, as you put the food in the oven. The fireplace is cracking, the music is nice and cheerful, you had your jumper on. You mother was kind enough to knit matching Christmas jumpers for both of you. You spread his on the bed, running a hand across it, gently smiling by the thought of Roger’s body beneath it.

Then you hear it! Somebody’s on the door. You light up and run to open.

“There’s my baby” Roger’s inviting hands reach out.

“Roger!” you jump onto him, legs wrapped around his waist. You place kisses all over his face.

“So eager, I should be away more often then.” He lifts a brow.

“Shut up!” you give him a gentle punch on the shoulder. Then you nuzzle your head in his neck inhaling deeply.

“As much as I love snogging on the doorstep” He carries a step inside.

“Hold on. Look up” You smile. “Ahh, my thoughtful petal” He says looking at the mistletoe above you.

He then gives you a soft and warm kiss.

Stepping inside he lets you down to take off his coat and shoes.

“House looks lovely; you did a good job” he praises

“You like it?”

“Not more than I admire you. Now, turn around, close your eyes.” he commands you softly. You comply, but peek though one eyelid. “No cheating” he scoffs, you shake and patiently wait.

Then you feel something stone cold sliding around your neck and suddenly shiver, goosebumps all over your body. Then a finger tugging at the neckline at your jumper pulling it off to the side slightly, followed by a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“May I see now?” you are eager.

“Just a sec, darling”. “Now keep your eyes closed and do as I say, can you do that?”

You nod impatiently. He holds your hands and carefully guides you across the flat, to a full size mirror in the bedroom. There he stands behind you, arms around your waist and chin resting on your bare shoulder. He whispers “You may open now.”

You flicker your eyelashes and awe at the sight of a sparkling gemstone necklace hanging around your neck. Eyes draw between it and Roger’s in the mirror.

“It is amazing!” you cannot believe. “Must’ve cost you a fortune, baby” you turn to him. He admires your sight “For the love of my life, I give everything. Even my life, if I have to”.

“But Roger, I don’t need materialistic proof of your love”.

He cups your face close to his “All I want is to make you happy, in every way known to man. Plus, I got a pretty good deal for it, from a merchant in the commonwealth.”

He turns you facing the mirror again “See, it used to belong to an imperatrice, who had to sell it to reunite with the love of her life”. “Thought of you, how it would sit perfectly on your decollete.”

You bury your hands in his neck and give him a sweet kiss. “Christ, you make me feel things”

“I’ll take it as a thank you”

Friday 25, 1974. 11:55 am

You wake up by the phone ringing. Dragging yourself out of bed to pick up. After a few minutes you are screaming and running back to bed, jumping on top of Roger. “Babe. Babe. Babe wake up!”. “What the bloody hell” he murmurs. “Its Christmas day, we’re so late for my mums!”

“Can’t we stay in bed, and skip it…” he says through closed eyes, a hand holding your thigh tight.

“No, we’re going, get up, quickly” You peck his lips.

“Fine, I’m awake. You go, get ready, babe” he grunts.

After a brief 20 min. You are both dressed up and he is still murmuring about it.

“Babe, I’ll go get the car ready, while you finish, whatever you’re doing” you experimentally speak at him. He is frozen “Oh no baby no, no, don’t you worry ‘bout it, I got this”

You laughed and lift your hands in the air to him “I know better than to touch your precious car”.

After a while he is speeding up nervously on the road. “Roger, calm down, it’s okay, just a lunch with my parents, we’ll open some crackers and drink some punch, well I’m drinking, you are on juice. I’m dying to see you in a paper crown, I feel green is your colour” you wink at him.

“You father is intimidating, I don’t know if he hates me, or the fact I play in a band” He growls, you laugh.

During lunch he relaxes and seems to have gained some courage. He slips a hand under the table. Firstly, lays it on your knee, you don’t react. Then slowly craws up to the inside of your thigh, you question his eyes. He only smirks and continues his conversations. His hand is already at your knickers, stroking up and down painfully slowly, when you squeak in surprise to his courage.

You clench your knees together, giving him an evil side eye. “Everything alright, love?” he checks on you, “Enjoying this lunch a bit too much, don’t we?” You purr at him.

He goes further and tugs aside your knickers, you feel yourself panting at this point. Completely shamelessly he presses a finger on your entrance, feeling your wetness.

“How is you band doing?” your father raises to him “heard you were world touring”

Roger pulls away his hand and places it on the table “Very well sir! Yes, in fact, we weren’t due to a break, but we all felt homesick” he smiles to your side, while you blush uncomfortably.

“Alright, bunny?” your dad frowns at the look of you.

“Yes, it’s just the punch, got me a bit dizzy” you laugh it.

Suddenly Roger’s hand returns, and with no warning starts drawing lines against your entrance. Your head falls on his shoulder whispering into his ear “Roger! Watch it” He pretends he didn’t hear a word and carried on.

He then starts pumping slowly in your pulsating core. “Let’s go upstairs” you breath to him, begging eyes. He cocks his head to the side “What’s got you so hot and bothered baby? Was is the punch?” He then quickens the pace. You buckle your knees, a knob starting to form in your stomach.

“Please, Roger, let’s just go. NOW!” you beg him. He pulls away just before you are able to reach your climax. Places his hand on the table and starts to lick his fingers, “The turkey is delicious, Mrs. Y/M/N.” You stare at his mouth, raging.

From this moment on everything goes rather smoothly, but Roger notices you growing frustrated. After lunch, during your auntie’s piano session, you drag Roger to your old room.

Shutting the door, you slam him against it and start kissing him passionately. Your hands travel all over his torso.

“Youu!” you start at him “So shamelessly” you click you tongue in disapproval “to do this to me, in front of my whole family.” You angrily stare at him. A sly smile.

You lick and suck at his jaw, and find his sweet spot where you keep longer, feeling him responding so well to your touch, tongue leaving wet traces.

“Y/N” He pulls you away, “I’m still scared by your father, pretty damn sure that riffle by his side is loaded” he shrugs uncomfortable for a sec, all confidence suddenly gone.

“But when you had me, right across the table from him, your hands were singing another song” you cock to the side.

“Now, come on me pretty boy, because the only gun I’m thinking of is yours, and I wanna see it loaded” you order him.

These words turn the wild in him as he pushes you back and pins you to the wall. Lifting you up and carrying to the desk, not breaking a kiss. He starts to go down to your jaw and neck. Tongue peeking out time to time, leaving wet traces along the way, until he concentrates on your sweet spot, which makes you close your eyes and throw your head back a little. Then you are startled by a knock on the door, you push away Roger and quickly stand up on your shake feet. Clearing your throat “Yes?”

“Darling, the dessert” your mum’s voice. “Coming right up”. You both giggle at how close this one was.

“Fuck, once we get home, baby, I swe” you shut him with a kiss and drag him downstairs.

Once back to your flat, you both lay lazily on the sofa until dinner time, when you realise you have to set the table and everything. You jump off to do so. On the table you lay a festive table cover, candles put a cracker for each of you and serve the food you had prepared. Then you dim the lights, put the Christmas record on to create a romantic atmosphere.

You two then sit beside the fireplace to dine. Roger brings a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon ’69. He pours you both. You then clap your hands “Cracker time”. You both pop each other’s crackers and start to unfold the paper crown. “Hmm, green” he smiles. “Told ya” you praise. After you both have your crowns on, and the stupid jokes go the fireplace, you enjoy your meal.

By desert time, you’re giggling from the wine.

He then stood up and told you to wait. You watch him carefully as he brings a few super fluffy blankets and a pillows and arranges them in front of the fire, cozying up the place.

You snuggle into him watching the fire crack for a while, until you remember how he teased you today, and decide it’s payback time. An evil grin on your face, you lean to kiss him. With your hand in his hair, you straddle him. Your tongue twirling a candy cane. ‘Santa Baby’ playing in the background, you sing along.

“Santa baby” innocent eyes. He chuckles.

“Been an awful good girl” eyes even sweeter, tongue licking the candy.

“Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight”

He steals a kiss from your lips, sucking their minty sweet taste.

You pull away and playfully slap his hand and continue:

“Think of all the fun I’ve missed” You lick the candy and lean for another kiss.

He decides to take the lead, taking a lick from your hand and sings:

“Been an angel all year

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight” You keep seductively licking the candy. You take the note:

“Santa honey one thing I really do need, the deed”

Roger: “Santa cutie,

Come and trim my Christmas tree” he smirks suggestively.

You throw the candy away and lock lips. A hand slides under his jumper. You suck on his neck as you slowly massage his chest, hovering your fingers around his nipple. He moans a little and it excites you even more. Then you take off his jumper to appreciate his body. Both hands running up and down, wet kisses all the way to his abdomen, tracing his perfect V-line. Your mouth closing around his other nipple, as your hands play with his belt, when he yelps, pulling you away, and reaches to take off his belt, trousers and socks.

You push him back to lay on a pile of cushions. As you tease even more.

He grunts “Y/N, please” You smile, and bring your head to his shoulder, low sultry voice “ Agh, not so good, when it’s you on the other side, is it?” you bite lightly. His hands removing your jumper, eyes widen at the sight of your breasts, no bra.

He brings you forward, so he can bury his head between them and suck on each nipple hungrily. You throw your head back letting a moan.

Your hand travels to pat gently on his bulge, you feel his cock already hard and ready, underwear damp by some pre-come.

You start trailing his length and he groans into you. You pull away and move between his legs, pulling down his boxers. “My, my! We’re so ready to shoot” You bite a lip staring at his twitching cock. “Been hard for a while. You always make me hard super-fast” his needy voice.

“Glad” you note.

As you lay down beside him “Now, come over and tell me, how you want me”

He moves on top of your body and breaths your smell. “Your lips.. so luscious, they turn red so quickly. Love biting ‘em”

“Your neck, perfect fit for mine.” He moves down. “Your breasts, baby, I canna get enough of them, so soft, and your nipples, so pink and perky, wanna play with them all day…” he goes to suck each at a time, you moan his name quietly, making your core tense.

“But, fuck baby, most of all I love how you taste, all for me” he pulls your skirt and knickers away.

You spread your legs and he starts to kiss your inner thigh, eventually landing on your entrance. “So wet and ready” he notes, then without warning he starts swirling his tongue around your clit, collecting your juices.

“Baby, please” you plead. He smiles against you.

“Need you” you continue.

He pushes a finger, making you throw your head back, earning a deep moan. He starts pumping, while his tongue is eating you out.

“Fuck, Roger” you whine, “need ‘nother finger, babe” you demand. He adds second and keeps a steady pace. Your nails pulling his hair ever so hard when he hits the right spot.

Then he pulls away abruptly, making you scream with annoyed, frustrated look.

“Tell me what do you want”

“You”

“Well, of course you do baby. What do you want me to do?”

You whine.

“Need to hear you say it”

“I want your dick, deep inside my fucking pussy, pounding H A R D, and fast” you aren’t even ashamed to beg for it.

“That’s what I wanted to hear” he confirms, you nod in a need, he hovers over you and slides his length deep your pulsating pussy.

You let a whimper. His lips shush yours. He stays, giving you some time to adjust. “Move” you whisper in need.

He starts slamming against you, nice and slow at first.

“Fuck, Y/N! So tight baby” he gulps. You whisper his name like a prayer. Then slams harder, and again, and you tremble under him. A tear drops from the corner of your eye as your orgasm starts to build. A familiar burning feeling, a knob forming in your stomach.

“R-oger” you are out of breath. “So close”.

“Let go baby, come for me” He thrusts a few more times.

You cry out his name, your walls start to close around him. Your nails scratch his back. Hot and cold waves rush through your entire body. You are a hot mess right now. His name is the only prayer on your lips. It takes you a moment to come down from your high. You look for his eyes. He nods.

“Come Roger, come in my pussy, fill me up” you encourage.

He grunts and screams your name, hot liquid fills your walls, a warm feeling completing you.

He collapses on top of you and you bite on his shoulder. Both panting heavily. He rolls beside you. “Fuck Y/N” he swallows. You cuddle under his arm and whisper to his ear “Merry Christmas, darling”. He catches his breath “Merry Christmas, love. The best of my life”

“We’re gonna have many more to come, Taylor” you kiss his temple.

293 notes · View notes

suga-suga-high · 5 years

Text

Dating Min Yoogni Would Include

At first your just really good friends

And you both don’t even realize you like each other

You two are just super good friends

UnTiL YoU aReN’t (But we’ll get to that later)

He invites you into his studio all the time

Just to chill

Cause like that’s your friendship

You bring the food, and he brings the quietness from him working

So NATURALLY you assume that’s how he is with everyone, BUT OF COURSE, you wrong as hell

Cause you asked Jimin about this one day and he was like “He hardly lets anyone in his studio besides you.” And your heart skips and you don’t know what to say but “oh”

You still go though, and brings like enough food to feed an army

Because like we all know that boi forgets to eat

And when he works for days on end without going out to see the sun, or to socialize, you stand in front of him with a stern look and are like, “I know you’re working super hard, and I know this song isn’t perfect to yet, and it won’t be for a few days, however, you and I are going on a walk.

He grumbles, saying you’re trying to make him fail.

BUT HE GoEs

And guess who enjoyed it?

hIM

He fucking loved it

And the song he was working on is like 2 thousand times better because of you,

but of course, he’s not going to tell you that.

Then one night you two are on the couch watching a good movie, like cry worthy movie, something like Hachi

And he falls asleep

On Your Lap

You look down and your hand is in his hair

messing with it

And you look at him, and your heart starts hammering, threating to break out

Then it happens, you see his cute face, and you’re just like SHITTTTTT (with that many T’s)

Later on, when Yoogni wakes up he looks at you and can feel your hand in his hair, and he’s just like SHITTTTTTT (with that many T’s)

After that THINGS GET AWkwaRd

Your hands brush so delicately together.... bright fuckin red

Shows his gummy smile to you after he finishes a song SUPEr FUCKING TOMATO RED

You are fucking whipped

Then Again he is too

He starts to talk about you all the time

“Joon did you see that Y/N-”

“Ya I did.”

“Hobi look how cute she is while she eats soba.”

“I know it’s adorable!”

However, a certain Makane is fucking tired of it

One day Jungkook locks the both of you in a room together and won’t let you out till you confess to each other

And you’re like fuck

And he’s like fuck

But YOU are the first to say something because you haven’t eaten all day so you hungry AF

Also because Yoongi is a soft boi, so shy

So you stroll up to him (not really) and your like, “I like you.”

Yoongi just lets out a strangled breath saying, “Thank fucking god.”

After that day you two are inSepaRable

Like it’s gross

Going to a convenient store? Hand holding

Sitting on the couch? Snuggling

Eating Jin’s good at the dinner table? THIGHS TOUCHING

He absolutely loves to touch you

Not in that way, god

But lowkey in that way too

He loves to kiss you really softly so he knows you feel very loved, but that doesn’t mean he’s soft all the time

Like Agust D anyone???

But no seriously when you two are walking down the street and a guy looks at you like a piece of meat get ready for swollen lips later

When he’s jelly he will make sure you know who you belong too, like I am NOT KIDDING

Nippin, soft bites, Hickeys

An hour long rough, saliva slappin session

And of fuckin boi you hope it happens again, cause DAMN that was amazing.

But he’s not all touching and kissing. nOpE, remember he’s a soft boi too.

Having a bad day??

He will drop everything to get you your favorite drinks and foods.

But you do the same thing, except you usually just make him lamb skewers and that will do the trick.

And he’s like, “I don’t deserve you.”

Jokingly you say, “I can leave.”

He just grabs your waist bringing you real close so you could never escape, and buries his face into the crook of your neck.

Which he does a lot

Especially when he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want anyone to see

His favorite time with you though is during the night when neither of you can sleep. You just stay up and talk about everything.

He loves that, and he loves watching you act like you’re not tired when you clearly are.

So he’ll wrap you in his arms, and you are out like a light

Oh and on your three-month anniversary you don’t even think about celebrating it, because c’mon it’s three months, but he goes all out

HoWevEr, you receive flowers all day, and a HUGE GIANT teddy bear, (I fucking wish)

Then you get a fancy little invitation to the rooftop during the sunset so you rush up there

And you wanna CRY

Cause there he is in a tux, with his new song about you playing, and he’s standing there looking perfect and everything is just

Yeah, it’s perfect.

That is the day you realize you love him, every part of him, with every single fucking flaw

As he stands there he says, “I love you Jagi.”

You just burst into tears, “I didn’t get you anything though and this is so perfect.”

He has his gummy smile on his face, and he’s finally being cheesy, “What you got me is you. You put up with my bullshit and anger when I’m working too hard. You make sure I eat when I’m in the studio for days. You are my present.”

More tears.

And you hug of fucking course

then of fucking course, you say, “I love you too.”

Because, well, you do.

#suga #suga imagines #suga bts #bts imagines #bts jimin #jungkook #jhope imagine #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #bts reactions #bts

64 notes · View notes

holyytaehyung · 5 years

Text

Day6 YoungK as your Boyfriend

-guys this is my bias -and he knows it lol -i told him -heheeh -he also recognised me -anYWAYS -lets get on with it -(if ya wanna know more about my experience meeting day6/concert experience lemme know btw) -okay so -this handsome man -How you met -okay so its probably to do with music -you meet in university -he is studying performance -so are you -youre new to seoul -he notices that youre new when he walks in -basically he sits next to you in class one day and you both start talking -he instantly finds you interesting -so do you for him -he is already a member of day6 -but youre one of the first people to know he is in a group, and NOT try to get his number/ hug him/ take a photo -he finds it nice, comforting even -but he also takes it as a challenge -wants to see you have an interest in him -you both bond over your love for food -when one day he forgets his lunch AND his money -and you reluctantly share your food -he immediately has heart eyes -for your sandwich that is -basically he starts to hang out with you alot and invites you to his small gigs -you accept because youre new in town and have no friends -you guys keep hanging out -he often brings a coffee for you before your early morning classes -and if he ever misses a class because of training/ tour -youd take notes for him -he loves your handwriting -its something youre self concious about -so it makes you happy to know he likes it -one day he introduces you to his band mates -they all assume that youre a fan and brace for the worst -but youre cool, chill and calm -they LOVE you -and your voice -Jae always teases you and youngk -calls you both a married couple -it wasnt until Youngk went to your apartment -to find you curled up crying to the song “i need someone” -his heart bursts -he wonders why youd be crying and chuckles softly when you cry into his shoulder -”i need someone” youd say softly -”Ill be that someone” How he asks you out -after the whole thing about you crying to one of his songs -he couldnt get the cute image of you out of his head -he wanted to hold you like he did then, every day -so he did -you both got closer and closer -but neither of you moved to make that extra step for a relationship -so what happens? -Big boy Jae steps in, tired of YoungK’s blabbering on about how much he adores you, and your phone calls complaining about how you want YoungK to hold you. -So what does he do? -he sets you both up lol - he tells youngK that youre at the garden of the university, and you wanted to confess to him -and then he tells you that youngk is there waiting to confess to you -so when you both turn up and wait for the other to say something -you both are met with silence -and then when you talk about it you both realize what Jae has done -YoungK then realizes that you wouldnt have come if you didnt feel the same -and so he says that its true that he likes you -you blush and say the same -both of you, now as an official couple, -plot revenge on Jae -By stealing his pizza -he isnt happy -Daily life as a couple -waking up in the dorm -in the bunkbed -but also in youngk’s arms -the doona half off the side -but youre both warm enough -he would lend you alot of his clothes -loves seeing you in his clothes -sweater paws -dress-like shirts -hed try to teach you guitar if you didnt already know it -duets in your class -hed write songs for you (i like you) -would always be calling you his inspiration -hed always sit next to you in classes -and hold your hand under the desk -or have an arm around you -swore his classmates into secrecy -both of you wanted to enjoy eachother for a while until you went public -you would always attend his shows -expect winks from the stage -2 am cram sessions for tests together -you holding him in your arms as he falls asleep, to tired to stay awake after a full day of practice -you both get matching necklaces -a chain with a metal guitar pick, your names engraved on the back -both of yours most prized possesions -aside from eachother -back hugs -walks down the street late at night to go on little exploration dates -sitting in the studio, waiting for him to finish -youre always the first to hear demo tracks -hugging him whilst he is stressing about work, -stopping him from crying over being overwhelmed -him kissing your neck as he thanks you, and pulls you close, arms around your waist as his breath evens out, his eyes puffy and red, from tiredness and crying -warm hot chocolates, wrapped up in eachothers arms on a cold winters day, the rest of the members around you guys on the couches, watching christmas movies. -honestly he is the sweetest -cant go a day without saying he loves you -he really loves you

-admin rose

#day6 #youngk #day6 scenario #kpop #kpop scenario #kpop boyfriend #day6 boyfriend #day6 youngk #jae #wonpil #dowoon #sungjin #day6 reaction #kpop reaction #admin rose

140 notes · View notes

heyiluvspiderman · 6 years

Text

hickies and snapchat

uuuuuhhh this is kinda all over the place but i wanted to write it so i did okay ENJOY

Peter Parker x gender neutral reader | Fluffy!

lets fucking save my soul and WRITE THIS BITCH

YUH

peter and you hadn’t had a movie night for a while

bc of the fucking nuisance that is spider-man

smh

so when peter finally got a weekend off, you both knew it was movie night

which meant watching the star wars trilogy

you didn’t even argue you knew he didn’t want to watch anything else

he invites you to watch the movies at the avengers tower since that’s where he stays on the weekends

and WOW you’re gonna see the avengers TOWER that is so WILD

but none of the avengers are there because they’re on a mission so it’s just you and pete

wink wonk ;)

aNyWaYs

you guys grab all the snacks, junk food, and soda you want, before getting comfy on peter’s bed

you’re in your pj’s and have blankets piled on you

it’s also like 11pm

so if you’re gonna watch the whole trilogy

it’s gonna be an all nighter

you guys make it through the first one before peter starts to get bored

well not bored but more like distracted

so he starts watching you instead of the movie

he starts playing with your hair and fiddling with your hands

you start to notice that he’s not paying attention to the movie

“babe do you wanna watch something else?”

he kisses you instead of answering

heated make out session wow is it hot in here

you go back to watching the movie but now peter’s shirt is off and both of you have swollen lips

you’re definitely wearing peter’s shirt instead of your own

peter’s intensely watching the movie now and you’re on your phone scrolling through social media

you get a snapchat from your best friend so you open the snap

you take a picture and start to add a caption, but stop to actually look at the picture

there’s hickies all over your neck and collar

“PETER ARE YOU KIDDING ME”

he looks down at you confused, before you show him the picture and the hickies

he just starts laughing

“it’s not that bad angel calm down”

you glared at him before taking another picture, this time with peter’s laughing face in it

‘sorry i can’t come to school on monday bc my dick of a boyfriend covered me in hickies GOODBYE WORLD’

you sent the snap to your best friend, only to be met with video of them laughing their ass off

“don’t be so grumpy ya dork, you look cute”

you rolled your eyes and cuddled back into peter

it was the wee hours in the morning now like 4 am

y’all were still watching star wars

but you were mainly taking cute sneaky pics of you and peter

because come on you’re all cuddled up and cute it’s PRIME picture time

you were using the snapchat filters, making your faces look all goofy

laughing way too hard at some of the pics

because it’s 4am and you’re sleep deprived and everything is hilarious we all know the feeling

you used the hearts filter and got THE most precious picture of you and peter

your head was on peter’s chest and you both had goofy grins on your faces

it was kinda blurry, and peter was mid laugh, but to you it was perfect

it quickly became both you and peter’s lockscreen

you both eventually fell asleep, covered in blankets just holding each other

how fucking soft is that oh my god

BONUS

the avengers came back from their mission

you guys were still asleep

even tho it’s like 11am lol

tony coming into peter’s room to make sure he’s alive

seeing you both still cuddling

tony trying not to cry bc his spidey son is growing up

bringing in the other avengers to see the soft kids

taking lots of pics to blackmail y’all

wow that was cute okay thanks

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagines #tom holland #tom holland x reader #marvel imagines #marvel #avengers #avengers imagines #avengers x reader #headcanon #peter parker headcanon #spider-man: homecoming #spider-man #emma bean masterlist #emmatrashforfandoms masterlist

1K notes · View notes

septic-heart-and-mind · 6 years

Text

“A Foolproof Plan” | “Imprisoned” (JSE Ego Fic) Pt. 6

New chapter! Hope you enjoy it! Again I’m gonna say you should read @thesepticactress‘s ego fic if you haven’t already, it inspired me to write this one so yeah :)

Jackie’s POV

We were all still sat at the bench, with not much time of lunch break left, and we were talking about what we thought of Chase’s situation. Something was definitely off, and I could see some of the signs from when I pretended I wasn’t getting bullied. I used to snap at my parents and push them away, and I would lie saying I was okay when all I wanted to do was cry. I wasn’t convinced by the ‘accident’ story, not now that I knew it wasn’t an isolated injury. He seemed to have multiple bruises, and Henrik realised that they were in the right place for if he had been grabbed by someone. Putting everything together, we deduced that Chase was in danger and he needed our help; after what I went through with the bullying, I was all about saving people from suffering where possible and making the world a better place.

“Okay, guys,” I stated bravely, “It’s time to make a plan of how we’re gonna do this.”

“We?” Anti questioned.

“Yes, Chase is gonna need help from all of us,” I confirmed.

“Do I get to use a knife?” Anti asked somewhat excitedly.

“What is it with you and knives?” I sighed a little irritatedly as he wasn’t taking it seriously.

“Just a joke,” he smirked. He then looked at Robbie more sincerely, before his gaze shifted downwards and he slightly covered the scars on his wrists that we already knew he’d had for a long time. He was clearly joking about it as a way of coping with the fact that he self-harmed; as much as he made out to be a tough guy, he had his own struggles that we didn’t know about, just like most people.

“If anyone should be obsessed with knives it ought to be me,” Henrik contested, “As I am the one who plans to perform operations.”

“Guys, we need to be serious about this! Chase could be in real trouble!” I cried out, trying to make them realise that this situation was no joke, that we weren’t just playing around. “We have to save him!”

“Alright, Jackieboy Man,” Anti mocked me.

“He’s right,” Stacy agreed with me, “We have to save him from whatever this is.” It was soon time to go back to class, but on the way there I spotted Chase and JJ walking together. I realised that perhaps JJ could help us too somehow, an extra pair of hands and another brain could make all the difference - especially as he seemed to be rather smart.

“Psst! JJ!” I hissed to get his attention, and he swivelled round while Chase continued without him. “Wanna help us save Chase?” I asked, and he nodded without even asking me to explain. Of course, we did explain it to him later; after school, we all met up and started working on our masterplan.

Chase’s POV

As usual, I got back from school and immediately started on my homework before I could do anything else; I was so bored and lonely, so I picked up my phone and texted Marvin to see how he was doing. I didn’t necessarily expect a response, but I thought I’d at least try. I then sent a message to Stacy, just to say hi and start a conversation with her, but she didn’t seem to answer, either. I presumed that she was busy, perhaps with her own homework; I sighed, and then I continued to write. It was then that my phone vibrated, and I saw a reply from Marvin. I’d asked how he was and replied with just a single word. Lost. My heart broke for him, and I just told him that I was there if he needed anything; I didn’t pretend I knew what to say to make it better because, let’s face it, no-one does in that situation. I feared I would make it worse, too, so I didn’t want to risk saying anything out of place while doing my best to support him. Dad caught me on my phone while doing my homework, and he started yelling at me straight away. He grabbed the phone from my hand and stormed downstairs with it; I rushed after him, pleading to him to give it back. He threatened to smash it to pieces, just to frighten and upset me, before throwing at me and laughing. I called him out for what he did, simply saying that he was evil, and that was enough for him to lay into me once again. I trembled and wobbled back up to my room, tears running down my cheeks with fear and hurt; despite how often he did this to me, it still broke my heart every time that he loved causing me pain and distress. Weeping, I sat on my bed with my knees tucked up against my chest and my arms wrapped around my shaking legs. I tensed further as I heard him come up the stairs, scared that he was going to hurt me yet again. He heard me anxiously crying and he peered into my room with disgust in his eyes.

“Oh, shut up,” he said callously as he heard my sobs. “You’re a pathetic excuse of a man, d’ya hear that? You’re like a weak little girl.” I wanted to protest, to say that girls aren’t weak and neither is crying, but I was too scared of him to stand up for what I knew was right. I couldn’t even defend myself by denying what he said, I just sat their shaking in tears. “Look at ya,” he continued, repulsed, “You’re absolutely disgustingly pathetic. You’re a disgrace. I’m ashamed to have a son like you.” I sobbed harder as he finally left the room, unable to comprehend why he hated me so much and just wishing he’d love me like a normal dad. Mum soon came in and looked at me with sympathetic, loving eyes as she saw the state I was in. She approached me and sat herself beside me on the bed, putting her arms out to me a little, and I cuddled her like a frightened child. She spoke to me softly to try and soothe and distract me, gently rubbing my back, and I soon started to calm down as I felt her warmth and love embrace me like a blanket wrapped around me. I felt safe, protected, and I was able to relax in her arms. I then got a reply from Stacy; she was very happy to talk to me, so I decided to tell her about what had just happened. She invited me over to her house, to try and cheer me up by spending time with me; I was up for this offer, but I doubted that Dad would let me go anywhere. Mum thought she might be able to get me out of the house without him noticing, although that would probably be much later at night; I was okay with this, but it wasn’t even definite that this would work either. Dad seemed to be very good at spotting when we were doing something he didn’t want us to do. Chances are, whenever we tried to do our own thing, we would get caught - and then he would hurt us, just like he always did.

Jackie’s POV

“So here’s what we’re gonna do,” I announced as I was about to go over the plan again. “We’re gonna go to his house when he doesn’t know we’re there. We’re gonna see what’s going on. We’re gonna record it, and then we’re gonna take it to the police.”

“And why does that take all of us?” Anti complained.

“In case whoever it is that’s hurting him turns on us,” I explained, “We need enough of us to defend ourselves, we don’t know what they might do.”

“Or how many of them there are,” Seán concurred.

“We don’t wanna end up outnumbered,” Henrik agreed with him.

“Exactly,” I added, “So we’re all gonna save him.”

“You care, Anti, you know you do,” Seán stated with certainty. Anti rolled his eyes, but when he then looked at him his eyes told us that he knew Seán was right.

“We’d better go at night when we’re less likely to be seen,” I suggested.

“Well, aren’t you a genius,” Anti replied sarcastically.

“Why are you like this?” I asked, genuinely concerned and curious about the way he spoke.

“I was in care, did that slip your mind?,” Anti grumbled.

“And that makes you angry at us because?” I questioned, trying to figure him out.

“Because, little brain, I was messed around and pushed aside. Forgotten,” he snapped.

“By who?” I quizzed.

“My own fuckin’ parents abandoned me, and then my first foster family were horrible to me! They just wanted a slave to boss around, not a kid,” he explained, showing more raw emotion than I’d ever seen from Anti. He wasn’t just angry, he sounded hurt and upset. He never usually revealed that side of him, always pretending he didn’t care when we knew he did deep down. But deep down is usually the only place it was, hidden from the rest of the world, rather than on the surface.

“I never knew that, Anti,” I responded sympathetically.

“Not much better for me, either,” Robbie confessed, downbeat. “Dead father, mother who loves drugs more than her own son, leaving him to grieve all by himself.”

“Until he ended up in care with me, then I was there,” Anti added. “But I wasn’t much help, he didn’t have who he really needed.”

“Guys, I never knew… This explains so much,” I muttered.

“Great, therapy session over, can we move on now?” Anti replied, back to his usual sarcasm. “I thought we had an important plan to talk about.”

“So you admit it’s important,” I smiled, and he sighed reluctantly as he nodded. I turned to another page of my notepad, and we started to write out a neater version of the plan (as the original was just scrawled ideas) and made a list of all the steps with the times next to it of when each one would take place. This plan had to be perfect in order to save Chase, which was a goal we couldn’t fail to fulfil.

“There,” I said as I put the lid back on the marker, “Done.”

“One question,” Anti chimed in, and we all sighed as we expected it to be something like ‘when do I get to use a knife’ or something. Typical Anti. “Where does JJ come into this?” he asked, “He’s not gonna hurt anyone even if he has to. No use for defending us if it we’re spotted.”I paused as I thought about it.

“He can be our way in,” I realised as the idea sprung into my head. “He helps his dad with a watch-making business, right? So he can pretend to be selling them or something, to get the door to open so we can get in and get more evidence!” I felt like a genius as I crafted this part of the plan, feeling like it was all falling into place perfectly.

“What, and then we all just go ‘surprise!’ and jump out of nowhere and we’ll all be welcomed in?” Anti remarked mockingly, “That’s really gonna work.”

“No, obviously not,” I uttered as I face-palmed. “Look. Have you got any better ideas? Mock mine all you want but you’ve not given a better alternative, have you?” Anti thought for a moment, realising that I actually had a point and was unable to make a sarcastic comment or joke about it.

“He could be used as bait,” Anti offered an idea.

“Bait?!” I gasped. “Anti! That’s dangerous!”

“Maybe,” he agreed, “But it also might get them away from Chase,” he added in explanation.

“It might also get JJ seriously hurt!” I contested.

“It’s a risk we’ll have to take!” Anti cried out. JJ nodded, signing himself up for it. I was curious how Anti planned to use him as ‘bait’, as he described it. Anti reckoned that, whoever this monster was, they wouldn’t be able to reveal their true character to anyone outside of the family - no-one else could know that they were an abuser. So, if JJ showed up asking for help, they would have to pretend to care and therefore they would help him - so maybe we could get them away from the house and allow Chase and his mum to escape. Before that, though, we had to catch them in the act and prove that there was something to escape from - and to get them put behind bars where they belonged.

That night, we all snuck out late to meet up outside my house; luckily, we all lived relatively close to each other and we knew where to go to get back. I realised that we didn’t know Chase’s address, though, and Stacy only knew part of the way from walking with him. Seán then remembered where he lived, from when they first met, and so he led the way. Torches in hand, we made our way to Chase’s house, listening out for anyone that might jump out at us as it was rather late for people of our age to be wandering the streets on our own. When we reached his house, we crouched down so that no-one inside the house would see us. I very slightly peered up and through the window, and I could see someone yelling at Chase, who I presumed was his father.

“Guys!” I whispered, “His dad is shouting at him!” I continued to watch carefully, making sure that I remained hidden if he happened to look my way. “Oh no, he’s hurting him again!” I gasped. “This is why we have to rescue him.” I then moved away from the window, and we all stayed down out of sight. “Okay, guys, this is where our plan really starts,” I announced, quietly yet boldly.

“Yes, Jackieboy Man,” Anti sighed, mockingly saluting me.

“Call me that if you want, we are gonna be heroes after all,” I responded calmly, not rising to his teasing. I then got out my phone, before carefully approaching the window again with my phone camera ready; I held it against the window to keep it steady, making sure that it was filming, whilst also keeping out of sight as best as I could. Once I had got a good length video of Chase’s dad beating him up, I lowered from the window again and sighed with relief that I hadn’t been spotted.

“Caught him,” I smiled triumphantly, “Stupid of him to leave the curtains open this late.”

“So what do we do now?” Stacy asked in a hushed voice.

“Good question,” I replied quietly, thinking.

“Don’t we just go to the police now?” Anti remarked, as though it were obvious.

“We could,” I agreed. I checked that the video had recorded properly and that we could see what we needed to see - and made a terrible discovery. “Oh no!” I gasped.

“What?” Seán responded concernedly.

“The video went weird!” I answered despairingly, “Now we’ve got no proof! I failed, I’m so sorry, guys…”

“It’s okay,” Henrik replied, “This can be exactly where we involve JJ.” He could see that I looked confused and didn’t quite follow what he meant. “If we can enter the house like you said, rather than wait out here all night, we could get another chance to collect the evidence,” he elaborated, “And if JJ gets Chase’s dad out for sufficient time for us to get in, then our plan should succeed.”

“Henrik, you are a genius,” I praised him excitedly.

“Guys, we could just… you know… wait and come back tomorrow night?” Anti suggested. “Take the video again the next time his dad does something?”

“And risk Chase getting beaten to death? What if his dad goes too far next time?” I retorted, “No, we have to do this tonight.” We talked through the plan again with JJ, going over the script that we had worked out for his part of all this; in that time, the curtains were closed - so we lost a chance to get another video anyway, even if anything else had happened in there. JJ was so worried about getting everything wrong, so we had to reassure him immensely just to calm him down enough to be able to do it. He was so scared that we did try and think of an alternative, but this seemed like the best way - JJ was the most vulnerable, but that also made him the best bait, as he would evoke more of a response than anyone else would. Apart from that, he did want to help us - and this was a way for him to do it. Everyone else had their part to play, guarding each other and keeping watch to make sure it was safe; JJ didn’t want to hurt anyone though, even if he needed to, so this was something that he could contribute without compromising that. But would it be enough? Would his dad fall for it, and give us the chance to prove who he really was? Or would he outsmart us and see through what I thought was a foolproof plan?

#jacksepticeye #ImprisonedFic #jse egos #jsegos #jse fic #chase brody #antisepticeye #henrik von schneeplestein #marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #robbie the zombie #jameson jackson #nervous about this one #idk im not sure about it somehow #maybe that's just me tho #hope you like it!

18 notes · View notes