#if i ignored it and had fuck all then i would just be harming myself

[swagging-back-to]

hot take but i genuinely hate the concept of meal planning. maybe meal planning the next day, or even next two days. but a week? a MONTH? no.

you cannot know what you'll

a. be craving.

b. be feeling (you might plan a heavy meal during a period where youre sick. now what do you do, you have no other food besides that.)

c. be nutritionally needing.

#this post is brought to you by my spontaneous decision to buy kimchi bc im craving it #therefore my gut biome clearly needs probiotics #if i ignored it and had fuck all then i would just be harming myself #your cravings arent evil. #theyre your body telling you what nutritients and minerals you need.

[beelzlikes]

Fuck I'm pathetic. I'm so angry at myself. I want to destroy something beautiful, and my heart screams that I know it's wrong, that I'm just jealous.

Well I'd really like to be over it now. I'm tired of putting words in people's mouths. I'm tired of constantly thinking people hate me. I've become what I've never wanted to be, and I've hurt people in the process. Innocent people who didn't deserve to be hurt.

And then I type my emotions out on here and pretend no one reads them. Because if I say I'm on the brink of killing myself, and no one says anything, well that's just because nobody read it. It's not that they DID read it and decide they wouldn't say anything, that would be worse to imagine, so I don't imagine it. I imagine I'm alone. That no one is listening. Better to be ignored than to realize they ACTUALLY don't care.

And let's face it, you'd push them away too. No one wants to FIGHT someone for their love. It's not playing hard to get, it's being outright hostile towards people who approach you.

I can't go back. I've made my decisions. I can cry like a baby all I want. I just want it to be over now. I... don't want to be alone. But I've learned that is what I deserve.

"You don't honestly think they invited you over JUST for your company!"

Yes, Mother, you're right. I should have known better. Next time I'll bring cookies or chips or pop or something. To prove that I'm worth inviting over, that I actually bring something to the table.

"I hope you realize how selfish you're being."

Yes Dad, I do. Coming out as gay was devastating for you, I know. It was the first sign that signaled your long-term investment was going sour. I'll remember to never bring up my sexuality with you ever again.

"Hey Mom, do you ever... just... feel like... crying?" "Well of course I do, son, but I don't go around TELLING people about it."

Oh... okay... I just uh... I won't mention it again then. Sorry for bringing it up.

"Hey Dad sorry about my breakdown, thanks for lending me money and letting me stay at your house." "I'm just so disappointed in you, it's been three weeks and you still don't have a job. I have a plan for my life, Vincent, and it doesn't involve taking care of YOU!"

I... didn't realize... I was just trying to get better and... yeah, okay... find a job... move out... be independent... no one is going to help you... you have to do it all on your own.

If you can't, you're a failure and deserve the ridicule of those who come to rescue you. If they come at all.

What good are parents? You're just an investment for them for when they get old, they have someone obligated to take care of them. What good are friends? All they want is whatever they can get out of you, and if you can't provide you might as well not be there.

What good is love? All it does is cloud my judgement and make me say and do stupid things. It's a dagger slipped into my side, between the ribs, and you can't help but touch it, feel its sting, remember it's still there lodged in deep.

I want a lobotomy. I want to be nothing. I want my outside demeanor to match my inside demeanor so that nobody gets fooled again into thinking I'm a real person. I'm not real. I'm not actually here.

I'm just a ghost that haunts the living.

#don't read this #personal #public private journal #i... i'm sorry #if only you all had never known me #if only i had been strong enough from the beginning to live on my own to not go crawling back to Nich... #Owen... i wronged you by comparing myself to you - it was an insult at best and intentionally harmful at worst #you didn't deserve the animosity i felt towards... not even YOU but myself! #and Trevor... i keep calling you a kid again as an insult #i want to hurt you to make you feel small to invalidate your wants and decisions by harping on your age #because it's much easier than admitting it was a mistake to lead you on in the first place - that I should have known better from the start #Kip... I tried to ignore you at first because I was afraid of you #i was surrounded by people NICH knew that NICH was friends with and I had to keep it a secret that NICH was my ex #i assumed you would just fall in line with the rest #thank you Kip for being the only one to NOT tell me I needed to go see a therapist #that's how I know someone is done caring - when they say 'you should probably see someone about that' #it means: they no longer know what to do so they push you off onto someone else who professionally HAS to care #when you say 'wow have you thought of seeing a therapist' that instantly tells me you're checked out and you no longer want to hear it #i'm so tired... i'm so bored... i'm so lonely... and pathetic... and it's all my fault #fuck therapy anyway all my therapist LEAVE!! #fucking most recent therapist was pregnant and was only going to see me for a few weeks before sending me to someone else #pour my heart out in front of someone only to get nowhere and then have to do it all over again with a completely NEW one? #i've done that like SIX times now I'm so FUCKING tired of talking about it!! i just want someone to UNDERSTAND!!

[veganineden]

On the Evolution of “Happily Ever After” and Why “Nothing Lasts Forever”

A reflection inspired by Good Omens 2

One of my favorite Tumblr posts on the second season of Good Omens 2 was actually not about the series at all, but our reaction to it, primarily the ending. @zehwulf wrote, “I think a lot of us—myself included—got a little too comfortable with assuming [Aziraphale and Crowley would] work on their issues right away post-Armageddon.” We did the work for them through meta, fanfiction, fanart, and building a plethora of headcanons. Who among us AO3-surfing fans didn’t read and love Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm?

In the 4 long years since season one was released, we did more than seek to understand and repair rifts between two fictional beings: we were forced to reckon with ourselves too. We faced a global pandemic, suffered traumatizing losses and isolation, and were forced to really and truly look into the face of our atrocities-ridden and capitalistic world. The mainstream rise of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Justice work, and our participation in this work, showed us that the systems in place were built to oppress and harm most of us, and they are. 

So, what does this have to do with the evolution of “happily ever after”? 

My friend put it best in a conversation we had following the season finale, when she pointed out a shift in media focus. The “happy end” in old stories about wars and kingdoms used to be “we killed the evil old king and put a noble young king in his place and now citizens can live in peace” and we’re transitioning into a period of “we tore down the whole fucking monarchy.” 

If we look at season one, written to follow the beats of a love story, it comforted us by offering a pretty traditional happy ending pattern: you get your fancy dinner with your special someone, the romantic music plays, and you have a place to call your own. Season one’s finale provided a temporary freedom for Aziraphale and Crowley, the “breathing room,” but it didn't solve the problem that was Heaven and Hell, or the agendas belonging to those systems of oppression. 

Is it good enough to keep our heads down, pretend the bad stuff isn’t happening, and live our own personal happy endings until we die? Moral quandaries aside, if you don't die (or if you care about the generations after you), then, like Aziraphale said, it “can’t last forever.” There’s a clear unpleasant end to the “happily ever after” that’s based on ignoring our problems– it’s the destruction of our relationships, and humanity. 

Ineffable Bureaucracy can go off into the stars because they do not care about humanity. 

You know who does?

Aziraphale. 

And Aziraphale knows that Crowley cares about humanity too. (He knows because Crowley was the one who proposed sabotaging Armageddon in the first place, who only invited him to the stars when he thought all was lost, because Crowley would save humanity if he thought it was possible, and Aziraphale knows Crowley has survived losing Everything before, and he will do all in his power so that Crowley does not need to experience that again.) 

In season one and two, we see how much they care about humanity, beyond their orders, to the point The Systems begin to frown at them. Aziraphale hears Crowley’s offer to run away together in the final episode of season two, to leave Earth behind, and just like the first time that offer was made in season one, he declines. He knows choosing only “us” is not a choice either of them can live with for the rest of eternity.

I believe season 3 will provide an opportunity to “dismantle the system,” but I don’t know how it will play out. I worry that Aziraphale has put himself in the now-dead trope of the “young noble king.” (I wish Crowley had told him why Gabriel was dismissed from his duties.) I worry that he would martyr himself as a sole agent for change. I worry that he doesn’t actually know how to dismantle anything by himself: because you can’t. He needs Crowley. He DOES. He needs Crowley, and Muriel, and other angels and demons and humans without fixed mindsets to help him. Only by learning to listen and making room at the table for all can they (and we) move past personal satisfaction to collective liberation. 

Crowley was right when he said that Aziraphale had discovered his “civic obligations.”

So, I think we will get our modern-day happy ending– and it’s going to involve a lot of pain and discomfort, communication, healing and teamwork– and in the end, it’ll all be okay. There will be a time for rest and a time for “us.” 

And most likely a cottage. 

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

 - Maya Angelou

Support the SAG-AFTRA strike and other unions. Trust @neil-gaiman. Register to vote if you haven’t yet. Hold yourself and others accountable with compassion. Read books. Keep doing the work. Rest. Then watch Good Omens 2 again.  

#good omens 2 #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #good omens 2 meta #ineffable advocacy #ineffable partners #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #gos2 spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #nothing lasts forever #liked by Neil Gaiman

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑯𝑶𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑳𝑬 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  how could you do that? i thought we were friends!  ❜ ❛  the world would be a better place without you in it.  ❜ ❛  don't even think about trying to beg for forgiveness.  ❜ ❛  do you have any idea how much harm you've caused?  ❜ ❛  i don't ever want to see your face again!  ❜ ❛  i promise you i'm going to make your life a living hell.  ❜ ❛  the others may be able to ignore the past, but i surely won't.  ❜ ❛  if you ever hurt them, i swear, i won't hesitate to punch you.  ❜ ❛  don't even try and act friendly with me.  ❜ ❛  that's not a threat. it's a promise.  ❜ ❛  i'm not the same helpless little girl i used to be. now i can finally defend myself against you.  ❜ ❛  you lay one hand on me and it'll be the last thing you ever do.  ❜ ❛  it's about time you finally get what's been coming to you for years.  ❜ ❛  actually, you're not as bad as people say. you are so much worse.  ❜ ❛  tell me one good reason why i should believe anything you say.  ❜ ❛  oh look, it's the useless one again.  ❜ ❛  i'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.  ❜ ❛  how anyone can stand being in the same room as you is beyond me.  ❜ ❛  that's a low blow. even for you.  ❜ ❛  unless you want to end up with my fist in your face, i'd rather shut my mouth.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could be there when you finally get what's coming to you.  ❜ ❛  i wish you'd never been born!  ❜ ❛  fuck you! this is all your fault!  ❜ ❛  have you lost your mind?!  ❜ ❛  you betrayed us and still you think you can think you can just waltz back in here like nothing ever happened?  ❜ ❛  no! i've had enough with you. go to hell!  ❜ ❛  i want you to go and never come back. and if you do, i promise you'll regret it.  ❜ ❛  do you have another clever idea to get us killed?  ❜ ❛  name one good reason why i shouldn't hurt you right now.  ❜ ❛  next time we see each other i won't be so nice.  ❜ ❛  is this supposed to scare me?  ❜ ❛  i can't believe i ever trusted you ...  ❜ ❛  you should have killed me when you had the chance.  ❜ ❛  come any closer and you'll regret it.  ❜ ❛  you may win this time ... but i will get my revenge sooner or later.  ❜ ❛  are you threatening me?  ❜ ❛  and you can go to hell for all i care.  ❜ ❛  lay one hand on them and i'll make sure you won't ever be able to lay a hand on anyone ever again.  ❜ ❛  i'm not your friend! i never was, i never will be.  ❜ ❛  i'll make you regret the day you were born.  ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #sentence starters #angst starters #rph #type: meme

[void-wolfie]

it's hard when i hate myself.

summary: those bad thoughts in your head get a little too loud one day, and you can't take it anymore...

pairing: jenna ortega x gn!reader

tw: self-harm, depression, suicide attempt (if any of these topics are triggering for you, please do not read)

words: 1.88k

a/n: i wrote this for @nofreakinglooseends, hope this lives up to your expectations bub...

*** if you have experience with depression or suicidal thoughts, or if you find any of the above topics triggering in any way - please do not read, these topics are written about in detail below (you have been warned) ***

No one cares.

No one likes you.

You're just a burden.

You paced the bedroom floor, hands gripping the sides of your head as you wondered why your brain hated you so much. You knew the thoughts weren’t true, your friends really did care, they had told you so themselves. Yet, it all felt like one big lie.

In the midst of your pacing, something caught your eye. You looked up only to spot yourself in the bedroom mirror. For a moment, you were caught off guard; you didn’t look like yourself anymore. Dark circles under your eyes, hair that hadn’t been brushed in days, pale skin, and lifeless eyes. You looked like a shell of your former self, barely even recognizable.

When had it gotten this bad?

The floodgates opened. The thoughts came barreling back. Too loud to ignore this time.

Stupid.

Mistake.

Failure.

No one cares.

No one gives a shit.

Better off dead…

You started pacing again, a bit faster this time, praying that the voices would all just go away.

Your mind slipped to your girlfriend. She always seemed to know how to help. What would she say right now? Your mind was blank, you couldn’t think of anything. Then again, it was impossible to think at all with the voices shouting in your head, screaming about what a burden you were.

Jenna doesn’t even care. Why would she?

She only stays with you out of pity.

She doesn't care.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” you muttered to yourself, tears beginning to slip down your face, “Just shut up already!”

Call me if you need anything. That’s what Jenna told you earlier before leaving for work. You could sense the full-blown breakdown on the horizon, just minutes away. But you shouldn’t call her, right? She doesn’t need your problems right now. She already has enough to deal with at work as it is, she doesn’t need you making things worse…

She doesn’t love you.

She probably wouldn’t even pick up the phone if you called.

Lies. It was all lies. Jenna told you she loved you every morning and every night. She was there for you all the time. Of course, she cared… right?

“Fuck it,” you grabbed your phone from the nightstand, finding her contact and hitting the call button.

You sat on the edge of the bed, knee bouncing up and down anxiously as you listened to the dial tone.

Once… Twice… Voicemail.

“Fuckkkkkk,”

You redialed the number, hoping Jenna would pick up.

She doesn’t love you.

You don’t deserve her.

She can do better.

“Come on, go faster…” you muttered, your knee bouncing faster as you waited for someone to pick up.

Voicemail. Again.

“Fuck!”

Maybe the voices were right. Maybe your mind didn't hate you, maybe it was just telling you the ugly truth… Your friends don't care about you. Your girlfriend doesn't love you. You’re just a worthless nobody.

You shot up from the bed; anger and panic flooding your mind. Not even realizing what you were doing, you threw your phone across the room. You didn’t particularly care. Your mind was on autopilot.

Tears rolled down your face and you could barely see through the blurry vision.

Maybe it would just be better if you weren’t around anymore. Maybe it would be better if you were dead.

Dead. It was terrifying how much the thought of being dead didn’t bother you. The idea was almost welcoming. You wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, just peace… Peace sounded nice.

"Fuck!" You couldn't take it anymore. The voices were too loud, you couldn't think. Everything hurt. You needed to do something.

You rushed to the bathroom, the tears running down your face made it hard to see. You yanked open the cabinet drawer, digging around for where you hid it. Your fingers brushed against the cool metal, you raced to grab it without caring how it dug into your hand, nearly drawing blood.

You sunk down to the tile floor, rolling up the edge of your shorts to see the fresh cuts. Red lines spanning an inch or so long, each one scabbed over and bruised. You eyed an untouched spot between two red lines, before you could think you pushed the blade in, dragging it across the skin.

Blood trickled down the side of your thigh and onto the tile floor below, but you didn't care. Your mind was finally at ease.

It hurt like a bitch. But at the same time, the pain was comforting. Just for a while, it distracted your mind, easing your racing thoughts.

You looked down, eyeing the cut, the long trail of blood that cascaded down the side of your thigh.

Looking at it seemed to make it hurt worse. It made the voices come back. The cut was just a looming reminder of what a failure you were. But that’s all you were anymore. A mistake. A failure. A nobody.

You eyed the razor blade in your hand. Part of you knew you shouldn’t, it was a bad idea. But the voices were so much louder, so much more convincing. Your head was spinning…

Fuck it.

You dug the knife into your wrist, dragging the blade up towards your elbow. It had to be close to three or four inches long, the blood seeping out nearly instantly. It hurt worse than the ones on your thigh, but you didn’t care. If you were lucky, you wouldn’t be able to feel it soon anyway.

You did it again, taking the blade and dragging it up the other arm. Blood was dripping all over the floor, all over yourself, but you couldn't care less.

Her stomach twisted into knots; her hands shook as they gripped the wheel. She only left her phone for like ten minutes, maybe twelve at most, and in that time, she somehow had two back-to-back missed calls from you. She tried calling you back but to no avail. That’s when the panic set in. You rarely ever called her, and you never missed her calls.

She drove like a madman trying to get home. She was definitely breaking more than one law. Other people were honking, even flipping her off as she drove past, but she paid them no mind. The only thing she could think about was you.

Jenna fumbled to unlock the door; her hands were shaking. It took her longer than she would’ve liked to admit to get the key into the lock. Her mind was a wreck, her head was spinning, and all she could think about was you.

The second she was over the threshold she was calling out for you, praying for some sign that she was crazy and that you were fine.

Unfortunately, her prayers went unanswered.

She checked the living room first; it was closest to the front door. No luck, you weren’t there.

Then she checked the bedroom. She immediately noticed the dent in the wall; your phone lying on the floor underneath it, the screen completely shattered.

Just as quickly as she found your shattered phone, she noticed the light from the bathroom. The door was wide open.

Her stomach dropped; her heart was in her throat. She just knew something was wrong.

The first thing she saw was you sitting on the bathroom floor, unconscious. Then she noticed all the blood. It was everywhere. You were practically sitting in a pool of it.

The razor blade was still lightly clutched in your hand, the cuts going up your arms were an angry shade of red. Your shorts were hiked up, showcasing a sea of white scars and a slew of new cuts.

She wanted to puke.

She knew you were struggling, but she never knew it was this bad.

She took a deep breath, swallowing down the bile in the back of her throat and suppressing the tears that threatened to break free.

Everything hurt. Your head was pounding, and the dim lights felt too bright against your eyes. The bed underneath you felt stiff and uncomfortable. All your muscles ached.

Despite the way your muscles protested, you pushed yourself up on the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows.

The first thing you noticed was that you weren’t home, you were in a hospital room. A rather small one. There was the bed you laid in, a small bathroom off to the side of the room, and a TV hanging on the wall. But most importantly, sitting in an armchair underneath the window, was Jenna.

She was lying sideways on the chair, her head draped uncomfortably over one arm of the chair while her legs dangled off the other, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Even from a distance, you could see the dark bags under her eyes, like she hadn’t slept in days.

What was more worrying to you though, was how you got here. Why the hospital? Did you get hurt? Was Jenna hurt? What happened? The last thing you could remember was going to sleep the other night, with Jenna curled up in your arms under the covers.

You looked down, trying to look for any obvious injuries. You quickly spotted the big gauze bandages covering the length of your forearms.

“Hey,”

You jumped. Your head shot up and over towards the window. You must’ve accidentally woken her up somehow.

Jenna was sitting up in the chair, looking over at you tired and worriedly. She looked exhausted.

“Hey,” Your voice was hoarse. Your throat was dry and sore, and it hurt to speak.

“How’re you feeling?”

“What happened?” You asked, dodging her question. You felt like shit, but you weren’t going to tell her that.

“You don’t remember?” Her eyebrows furrowed, confusion taking over her features.

“No…”

You had an idea of what might’ve happened. But you were hoping it wasn’t true.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“You came home from work. We ordered takeout for dinner and watched a movie, then we went to bed.”

Her face dropped. A bad feeling washed over you.

“Babe, that was a week ago…” Her voice was soft and quiet. You couldn’t tell if she was sad or scared, maybe both… Most likely both.

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what to even say.

Silence filled the room. It was painfully loud, nearly suffocating you in the tiny room.

You didn’t want to ask the question sitting on the tip of your tongue. You didn’t really need to; you already knew the answer.

Before you knew it, tears started streaming down your cheeks. You’d actually done it. You couldn’t believe it. You tried to kill yourself… You were at a loss for words.

You felt the bed dip next to you, Jenna sliding onto the bed next to you. She gently wrapped her arm around you, bringing you closer to her. You rested your head on her shoulder, the tears streaming silently down your face.

Jenna didn’t say anything, she just held you close while you cried. Comforting you in the only way her tired mind could think of.

Neither of you knew what was going to happen next. But Jenna was sure of one thing; whatever it was, she was going to be there for you every step of the way.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x gn!reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #void-wolfie

[perseruna]

heyyyy do you have any details/sources for the ca*ill being a jackass thing? ngl i watch twn for yen and jaskier so i was already planning on continuing to season 4 but i'd love some reasons to be actively excited for the actor switch. but i haven't kept up on the behind-the-scenes stuff so i'm kinda lost on that front if you're up for sharing any of what you know!

okay guys buckle up this is THE anti henry cavill megathread xoxo

First of all him dating a teenager as a 33 year old fully grown man literally gross and disgusting.

Also as this quote implies they started dating a year prior and only went public when she was 19 so they supposedly started dating when she was 18.

His entire dating history is a MESS. Sure the women he dated are not him, but he chose to date them, I wouldn't even associate myself with people like these let alone be in a relationship with them. He dated the infamous transphobic TERF Gina Carano, albeit before her loud controversy, but I doubt her harmful views were any different back then. His current gf has a history of doing black face.

His "Me Too" comments.

His comments on the Me Too movement are literally so vile. If you don’t want to be called a rapist, just don’t rape women, it’s literally as simple as that. They’re even more foul because they’re promoting the idea that women lie about their abusive for fame, promoting that harmful rhetoric especially in our times is incredibly dangerous.

Now onto his on set behavior.

We can't talk about his set behavior without mentioning the deuxmoi set leak. Here's the transcript of it:

[Transcript:

There’s something I really really wanted to read to you guys--it has to do with why Henry Cavill left The Witcher. I know that was something that you guys were super interested in when it happened, and I just recently got this message. Somebody was like “Hey, do you want to know what really went down?” And I was like “Sure!” So let me just read it. It says:

“At the beginning of the show, Henry was good to work with. A lot of difficult demands that made people feel like he wasn’t a team player, but that’s not unusual for a really big star. Though in TV it truly usually doesn’t happen until the second season. But in season two and three something shifted and he became really impossible for women to work with, which is always a big problem, but even worse here because the showrunner is a woman. He would try to overrule her and try to get changes made last minute across the board without her knowledge, which, if you know anything about showrunning, is completely fucked. The showrunner has to sign off on every miniscule detail down to the buttons on a costume. Female writers and directors were suddenly being completely ignored on set, unable to do their jobs. Every department head was complaining. He started making comments—it wasn’t a sexual thing, he wasn’t grabbing anyone or being lewd, but it was disrespectful and toxic all the same.

“He is deeply addicted to video games, to the point where it was like working with any other addict. He was distracted, he was late, he was obsessive, and a lot of people think the misogyny came from gamer world. Video game bro language is not how you talk to coworkers, and he wouldn’t stop. Someone on the show compared it to watching someone get brainwashed by QAnon, like his whole personality shifted. Eventually his disrespect escalated. He would rewrite scenes without even alerting the other actors in the scenes until it was time to shoot. He decided that he didn’t want any romantic scenes at all—no kissing scenes, no shirtless scenes, et cetera. He wanted complete control of storylines but really had no idea of the limitations of TV, structure, budget, et cetera. He formed a weird alliance with one writer who was also a gamer, who eventually got fired after multiple HR complaints were made and after that writer left, Henry did anything he could to hold up production and cause problems.

“Eventually top brass at Netflix was tired of him costing them money with delays and HR investigations and the showrunner was asked to construct a potential exit for him. Netflix reached out to him personally and he was given one final warning, and violated that warning with an email he sent to the entire writing staff right after that meeting. That was it. It’s very disappointing.”

End transcript.]

Now believe me or not, but I know from a really good source that the leak was indeed real.

There's a lot of patterned behavior that tracks with what we know of him and his past controversies.

After that leak came out, there was a lot of people from different places coming to comment that ‘yes’ they’ve heard a very similar story adding a little bit more details of their own.

this quickly deleted tweet from one of the writers/producers:

there were rumors about him being an asshole to Anya specifically.

He went on record that he doesn't "understand" sex scenes. Which I know the sex discourse is rampant nowadays and each to their own, but he specifically signed up for a role that requires those scenes and then refused to do them and was allegedly nasty to Anya about it and with the way he talks about women...

Also it’s important to touch upon the “writer he had a weird alliance with” that man in question is Beau DeMayo of the recent fame of getting fired by Marvel from X-Men ‘97. He was previously allegedly fired from The Witcher for being emotionally and physically abusive. And he allegedly got fired from X-Men for being abusive as well. One of The Witcher writers tweeted this after Beau smeared them for “disliking the books” Beau was literally the first person to start that narrative.

The fact that it was HIS idea not to say lines of his dialogue in S1 and instead grunt. To the point that Joey had to take Henry’s lines and make it his own, so the plot would make sense, he talks about it in this interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Oyh0t117t0U&, and then once S2 press arrived Henry was talking about how he was trying to fight the big bad writers to give him more lines. Ridiculous.

Everyone is already pointing out that the cast looks so much happier without him, and it’s very true. Henry was never present on close to any BTS pics from filming the previous seasons, or on any cast dinners or birthdays. He wouldn't even do any shared interviews with the other three mains but only had solo interviews which to me was giving disrespectful like you're an ensemble you’re not the only lead here. It felt like he was above them to sit down and answer questions with them. When they were doing press junkets in Brazil and Poland Anya, Joey and Freya would always arrive together and leave together with that man leaving all the events early and by himself. And like people who post quotes from the cast about him being perfect from press junkets as “proof” are insane to me like Obviously they’re going to say nice things about him, not only they're newcomers, and he's an established industry name, but they’re doing PRESS for a show that he’s a STAR of (well, was lmao)

The fact that he never defended Anya from the racist trolls, even though most of them were HIS fans. Like she had to go through so much and that man couldn’t make a single comment about it as a leading man BUT he could make a whole IG post because people were being mean to his gf and calling her out for doing blackface.

And sure people might say that a lot of these are unverified sources, and I’d get it if it was a singular case, but there are a ton of these accounts that all match each other. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

#anti henry cavill #the witcher #mega thread

[weebsinstash]

People keep asking me if I have any 'yandere Alastor vs. yandere Lucifer fighting over Reader' ideas, and I gotta say one of my favorite ones is uh

Ok so I just am trying to kick myself in the ass to write this in of itself, but, I really like the idea of Alastor just straight up tricking you into giving him your soul. "Oh what if Reader takes a deal from him" no what if he makes a deal for your soul and you don't even fucking realize what you're doing and it's completely unintentional. I'm talking, my specific idea, is that after a prolonged series of events where you both gain and then lose Alastor's respect, he then approaches you when you're just like DRUNK DRUNK and, you're being all social and slurring and honestly he's embarrassed for you but at least you're talking to him, and, he sets his trap: making it seem like just an innocent little game, Alastor suggests you two have some kind of drinking game, and the winner can take ANY ONE THING from the other, and he's even all "oh, you don't even have to bother yourself with thinking about it! I could simply JUST TAKE IT and not even inform you, so then you wouldn't even have to worry yourself about whatever it is I decided to... acquire for myself :)"

And here's your drunken delusionally confident ass, thinking YOU'RE gonna pull one over on HIM, YOU trick ALASTOR "oh haha there's definitely nothing I have he wants lol, what would he do, take my cellphone or some of my shitty clothes or collectibles, lmao, I'm gonna win and I'm gonna ask him for some sort of special power or cool thing or gossip, this is low stakes high reward for sure"

Cue you like IMMEDIATELY losing his challenge, and even then, you're all smiles and laughs, "aww, I thought I had you there! So what are you taking?" And he just "Ohhhh, nothing :) actually I... even already took it from you!" And he starts LAUGHING laughing and you're just like "oh, you bastard, you got me! >u< more drinks, yay!"

I like the idea that Reader wakes up the next morning STILL in compete ignorance but uh, eventually you find out exactly how terrifying having someone else own your soul is when Alastor gives you some sort of command of something you REALLY do not want to do and you can't even control your own body to stop yourself from doing it anyways. Just the... violations of privacy, the loss of autonomy. He can force every thought and secret out of your mouth, your head, and move your body to the best of its abilities, and also just, PLUCK you to his location at will

So. Lucifer finds you just absolutely BROKEN in bed, like emotionally devastated, you are as close to suicidal as you can be for someone who cannot die, and, maybe you've even self-harmed. And after some gentle prodding from the Devil, you reveal what Alastor did, but, even more than that, how it made you FEEL. Alastor had approached you as some kind of friend, then started to want to exert some kind of ... control over you, commenting on your lifestyle choices, wanting you to do things with him in HIS way, and then when you resisted, he acted like you were a disappointment, even stopped spending time with you, and THEN, after you thought he was done with you, TRICKS YOU into giving him YOUR SOUL. It's just completely destroyed your psyche. It's reinforced horrible things you've thought about yourself your entire life. It made you feel alone, and now, you don't even have your soul anymore

So naturally Lucifer is like, "That's horrible! I'm so sorry he hurt you like that, I won't let him do this!" AND JUST FUCKING UNDOES IT. Contract WHAT? Radio Demon WHO? this is HELL and Lucifer is, you know, THE DEVIL FROM UH, THE BIBLE, and he's just snapping his fingers and you FEEL your soul come back to you and now you're breaking down crying for entirely different reasons while Lucifer holds you

MEANWHILE ALASTOR, who is fucking off elsewhere, may or may not be lovingly gazing at whatever form your soul is taking within his grasp, HAS IT RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM AND STARTS LOSING HIS MIND. Some "Wait, what just happened? Ffffuck." shit for real, he's, abruptly jerking out of his chair so hard it's sliding across the floor and he's racing back to the Hotel. Charlie stands up for him and shouts down her father that he has no right to ask the Radio Demon to leave, but, Charlie "attempts" to give Alastor "a stern talking to" about how "friends don't take other friend's souls, taking other people's souls is not how we get into Heaven" which, of course, falls on deaf ears, but Charlie isn't the Morningstar Alastor is wanting to concern himself with

And of course, there's Lucifer, making sure he's standing close to you, maybe even between you and Alastor, standing in front of you protectively, MAYBE EVEN HOLDING YOUR HAND TO COMFORT YOU. Alastor just immediately putting two and two together what happened and all but grinding his teeth into dust. Not only has Lucifer interfered and taken something IRREPLACEABLE from him(which was something he took from YOU lol), but, Lucifer has driven a wedge between you ans the Radio Demon. Alastor is watching you regard him with nothing but anger and sadness and fear while clinging to the tiny fallen angel and just, ohhhh, if looks could kill, the staredown these two are having with each other over you...

You've got one yandere who had your soul within his hands and had it taken back before he even got to enjoy having it, didn't get to DO anything with it, and another yandere who, quite understandably, feels that it isn't safe to let you leave from under his protective wing, and BOTH of them are convinced you have to be protected from the other while ALSO being super powerful

You know, the perfect combination of dangerous abilities and dangerous minds :) obviously our favorite Appletini is the more powerful one, but I think our Bambi could give him a good run for his money through sheer trickery alone. If you thought it was annoying getting pulled into antagonistic musicals BEFORE--

#yandere x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #Lucifer x reader #hh #sinprompts #yandere stuff

[lesinquietes]

Summary: Katsuki takes you to dinner. You find it difficult to keep your guard up when he’s so respectful and charming.

Adult!Bakugou x Forensic Detective!Reader

⚠️ drinking. suggestive themes. violence.

l Previous l Next l

Dinner with Katsuki is precisely what you dreamed it would be: seamless and firmly rooted in his brand of romance. He takes you to a place that serves authentic Indian food. It’s right near the station. As soon as you enter, rich aromas of masalas and spices waft past your nostrils. Immediately, you begin to salivate.

“Fuck, it smells good in here,” your date mumbles. “Can’t wait t’ dig in.”

“Tell me about it,” you mumble.

In no time, a waitress collects you at the door. She guides you to a table amongst a small crowd of people. A few of them take notice of Katsuki and whisper excitedly between each other. You gulp. You hadn’t thought about the consequences of dating a pro hero. What will publicity bring?

“Ignore ‘em.” The blonde says gruffly. “Tonight’s about me ‘n you, not any of these extras.”

You cringe. He’s certainly not afraid to voice his opinions, hoping intimidation is enough to keep gossipers at bay. Fortunately, he’s right.

You both take a seat. He sets your knapsack down on the chair next to you. The waitress hands you a couple of menus, and you take your time going through them. The table is quiet as you decide. The atmosphere is light and soothing. The nerves you felt at the start of your date are dissipating.

You order your food, as does he. A glass of wine for you, and a double of whiskey for him. The waitress scurries off to fulfill it, leaving the two of you alone again.

Your mind is racing. Breaking the ice is hard. His fiery gaze is boring into you and he doesn’t appear ready to chat anytime soon. The only thing you can focus on is the case you just solved, so you use that to toss your nervousness out the window and initiate conversation.

“S-so, I’m glad we caught him,” you stammer. “The villain, I mean. Today.”

He leans back in his chair and shrugs.

“Yeah. Piece of shit should rot in Tartarus f’r what he did.”

You nod absently. Where he’s going, you hope he isn’t able to harm anyone else. The suffering he’s caused the family of his victims is enough for one lifetime.

“Did you have trouble capturing him?”

“Nah.”

“Th-that’s good.”

“D’ya think I asked you out t’ talk about work?”

His brows are furrowed and his mouth twisted into a petite frown. You lick your lips, heat flooding your cheeks. That’s what you get for acting impulsively. Why are you so uncomfortable with silence?

“S-sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed. “I just… I guess I don’t know what else to talk about.”

Katsuki appreciates your honesty. In the past, he’s been on dates where his partner scrambled to fill the silence, eventually bringing up whatever vapid shit came to mind. He respects that you don’t fall victim to the same sort of urgency. It’s more natural this way.

“How ‘bout yourself?” He suggests. “Unless you’re tight-lipped about your personal life on dates, too.”

You laugh. At that moment, the waitress swings by with your merlot. She sets two wine glasses down and pours. You thank her and take a sip. A heavy, bitter flavour of berries greets your tongue. It’s not at all unpleasant.

“I just don’t like talking about myself at work,” you explain, putting down your glass. “And I don’t do much else these days, what with staff shortages, so I guess I’m not used to it.”

“You work harder than this stubborn bastard I know.”

He means it as a compliment. In his youth, Katsuki went through an identity crisis and blamed him for the insecurities it caused; nevertheless, his bond with Izuku has only grown in adulthood — for the better. Now, he acknowledges his conscientiousness and potential as a true hero.

“Your friends aren’t buggin’ ya?” He inquires. “If I’d known you don’t cut yourself any breaks, I’d’ve asked you out sooner.”

It’s feels nice to be fawned over. Prior to today, you had no clue he harboured such a fascination for you. Although you want to take his attraction at face value, you have your guard up. You’re not looking for friends with benefits; you’re seeking a companion in him. If he thinks he can talk sweetly to you for the purpose of getting in your pants, he’s got another thing coming.

“They know I’m busy.” You brush off his concern with a smile. “And we see each other here and there.”

He props up his elbows on the backrest of his chair and stares across the room distantly, eyes fixated on the kitchen doors. You don’t blame him; you’re starving, too. You think he’s abandoned the topic, when he speaks.

“As long as you’re not workin’ yourself into the ground. Think I’d like t’ keep seein’ ya.”

It isn’t much longer until your food arrives. The waitress sets down the dishes and utensils; then, she wishes you a good meal and excuses herself. You spend the rest of your time chatting intermittently about the flavours, sharing food between each other, and enjoying your meals. When you finish, it’s later in the evening. You’ve emptied your wine glass twice, as has he with his whiskey. You’re in good spirits.

He orders two cups of tea for dessert. As you sip, he wonders about your family and which part of town you live in. Likewise, you ask him about his development into one of the top pro heroes in Japan. You discover he doesn’t like to boast. He mentions his passion for honing his quirk and being “the best” in his youth. He describes how Best Jeanist, a former Billboard Hero, taught him to concentrate more on contained survival than reckless showing off. All in all, he keeps his story short and sweet.

It sounds like he’s been through a lot. You’re surprised someone with such an action-packed life is into you. The edgiest thing you’ve ever done was taking out a loan to attend graduate school. You thought he would have preferred another hero. Then again, the idea of seeing another forensic detective doesn’t do it for you. You’d rather leave work where it is and retire after a long day. Maybe Katsuki feels the same.

“Well?” He prompts you gruffly.

You blink absently. Did he say something while you were lost in thought? You lift a brow and hum, prompting him to clarify. He rolls his eyes playfully, picking up on how the alcohol has distracted you.

“What did’j’ya think of the meal?”

You beam at him.

“I loved it!”

“You sure? I won’t be offended.”

“Positive! I really enjoyed myself. Thank you, Katsuki.”

You catch a brief smile fluttering across his face. Just as soon as it appears, though, it’s gone. He feels like an idiot for getting flustered by something so simple, but he likes listening to you, and every syllable of his name sounds like heaven on your tongue. In his teenage years, you eliciting this sort of vulnerability would have infuriated him; as an adult, he knows how to calmly identify his emotions and reel them in.

He fucking likes you — that’s the truth. You’re bright and interesting. You encourage him engage with his thoughts and opinions, instead of dismiss them. He’s compelled to learn more about you. He gets the sense that he could converse with you for days and not get bored. You’re a rare breed.

“Ready t’ go?” He prompts you. “I’ll pay and we can head out.”

“You don’t have to pay,” you insist. “I can afford my half.”

“Fat fuckin’ chance.” He snorts. “Lemme get this this one f’r us, princess.”

You huff. Normally, you would want to pay; that way, there are no expectations for later. You’re not sure if you want to put out tonight. He’s playing all his cards right, and the tension is there, but you don’t want this to be a one night stand. When you have crushes on people, you mean them.

“Well… okay.” You concede. “But only if I can get the next one.”

“We’ll see.”

“Hey! C’mon!”

“Grab your shit an’ let’s go.”

You groan as you slip on your windbreaker and grab your knapsack. He’s already at the counter, settling the tab. Katsuki escorts you out of the building with a hand on the small of your back. In no time, you’re back on the street.

At this time of night, there aren’t many people walking around. It’s mostly other couples, pacing home or simply enjoying the evening together. The atmosphere is serene. A gentle wind tousles the leaves, adding to the tranquility. You shiver.

Katsuki walks head of you; then, he extends his hand for you to take. You do so with only a smidgen of hesitation this time, trying to trust your budding feelings for him. He reels you closer. Your palms touch his firm chest as he secures you against him. He gazes at you with a ghost of a smirk.

“So, you want there t’ be a next time?”

Reflexively, you laugh. Your face burns as you scramble to respond. You’re not used to being teased this way.

“Um… yeah. I-I guess I do.”

“No more pretendin’ you’re not inta me, then.”

“When you started flirting with me, I thought you were just bored,” you admit sheepishly. “But I k-kinda had a crush on you.”

His grip on you tightens.

“Had?”

“Have.”

“S’what I thought.”

Katsuki isn’t sure if it’s the whiskey or how easy it is to talk to you, but he feels comfortable around you. He wasn’t sure if it would translate as well outside of work — in his eyes, you had the potential to be too good for him. If you want him like he wants you, perhaps there’s a shot. Besides, you’re bound to understand his busy schedule and odd hours, what with you being in law enforcement. So what if you’re not a hero? He’s merely looking for someone he can sync up with.

“Look, I ain’t great at expressin’ my feelings ‘n shit, but I thought you were cute as soon as you showed up t’ that crime scene. Showed me you were smart, too. Down t’ earth. Not just a fuckin’ stiff in a tight skirt.”

You draw yourself into the memory. When you received the call, you arrived earlier than everyone else with your equipment. Officers were stationed around the perimeter, blocking all pedestrian points so you could do your work. Apparently, the victim was a big deal — that’s why Dynamight was assigned to your case. Half of his job was to protect you; the other half was to commence takedown of the scumbag murderer.

You thought he was annoying and pompous when he first appeared, sauntering around the scene like he was in charge. He seemed disinterested, as though he’d rather be doing something else. You didn’t love his attitude. But then, as he started to help — flirting with you, in the process — you witnessed a different side of him. Maybe it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but more so that he desensitizes himself to function.

Despite the rumours about him, you recognize that Katsuki has feelings. He gives a damn about victims and keeping civilians safe. Although he’s brash and aggressive in nature, his heart isn’t as icy as people think.

“I always thought you were handsome,” you admit shyly, averting your eyes. “Whenever I saw you on TV, I mean.”

He smirks.

“You’re not a fuckin’ super fan, are ya?”

“No!” You grin. “You’re just always on the News for breaking things, so you’re pretty hard to miss.”

He snorts. You glance at him to see if you crossed a line with your comment. Joy fills your soul when you catch him rubbing his jaw with a large hand, no doubt to hide another smile. If you were anyone else, he’d tell you to fuck off. Because you’re you, he feels his attraction to you soar.

“Shut the hell up an’ tell me when you’re free next week.”

And he seals the deal with a light peck on the cheek. He fights the urge to capture your sweet lips once more, hoping that one day, he won’t have to.

#minors dni #bakugou x forensic detective #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #pro hero bakugou #adult bakugou #bakugou x reader #afab reader #soft bakugou

[chrollosbm]

Sunflower Fields: a Choso Love Story Chapter Twelve

art cr: umbra3terna on x

You're broken from a past relationship, thinking you only deserve the worst. Choso comes along, making you realize you deserve the world and more. Will your ex-boyfriend let you go without a fight? (Choso x black!reader, yandere Choso)

Previous Chapters

pls support me on ao3, it would mean the world to me!

You woke up annoyed to a knock on your bedroom door, and you attempted to ignore it, wanting to get more rest. You weren’t sure what time it was, but the sunlight coming into your room was basically blinding. All you wanted to do was crawl under the covers and get more sleep with last night’s events keeping you up in curiosity.

After coming to your senses about the situation between Choso and Suguru, you of course ran to Choso to figure out what the hell went down. In all honesty, you didn’t care at all for your ex-boyfriend’s well-being, even if he was on the ground gushing blood. He was alive and coherent, which was enough for you.

“Choso…what the fuck?” The smile that was on your face was long gone by now, your body movements stiff as you charged over to him. His grin remained though, eyes sinister as his body on the other hand language was surprisingly laxed, clearly not seeing the severity of the situation. His calmness was slightly eerie, causing a stir in your stomach, but you wrote it off as him still being in shock, trying to convince yourself he wasn’t some crazed psychopath who got off on inflicting harm to others. Violence didn’t scare you, but when it was unnecessary, it just plain bothered you. You knew that Choso and Suguru’s fight had to be over you, in your head, it couldn’t have just been a coincidence that two men you’d dated had a random bar fight, so you knew it wasn’t a useless brawl.

Blood was trailing down the corner of his red stained mouth and you used your thumb to attempt to clean a bit of it off, scoffing in the process, and he let you, eyes softening at your gesture. He grabbed  your hand shortly after you were finished and pulled you closer, bloody hands finding your waist, with you not caring that it was ruining your outfit.

“Sorry, I seemed to have run into someone from your past and couldn’t stop myself from bashing his smug face in.” His features hardened again as his dark eyes squinted, veins in his neck tightening as he looked at Suguru who was now being lifted off the ground by the security guard, being shooed away as he yelled vulgar obscenities about the altercation that just took place. It was hard to ignore the insults he was throwing out at Choso, your own eyes peering as he called him a “downgrade.” It took everything in you not to throw in your own jabs at the man talking endless shit, but you decided he’d probably taken enough of a beating tonight. You still had somewhat of a heart. Plus, you had nothing to prove to him, Choso was in a totally different league than Suguru, far better in every department.

You didn’t notice you were shaking until Choso grabbed your waist tighter, his brows furrowing at you. His eyes were panicked when you looked at him before he spoke. “Baby, did I scare you?” He stammered. “I didn’t mean to frighten you-I didn’t think you would have to witness this side of me, I just-” 

You cut him off with a small and quick kiss, his puffy lips tasting metallic as yours touched his, your shaking seeming to seize almost immediately. “Don’t be.” Your voice came out soft, wanting to make sure what you were saying was of the most sincerity. “I don’t know what happened-I don’t even think I want to know. I had a horrible night and coming out to see you beating my cheating ex-boyfriend to a pulp brought me more joy than a fucking kid on Christmas morning.” You beamed at him, all teeth showing as you placed your hands on his chest, his fast beating heart seeming to slow as each word came from your mouth. 

He ran one of his dried blood stained hands through his hair, unintentionally taking out the other loose bun in his head, and let out a large sigh he seemed to be holding in, before smiling down at you, toothy as well. “Who knew you were such a sadist?” He laughed, that innocent glimmer back in his chocolate eyes. The atmosphere seemed less tense then, with Suguru’s shouts silencing as he was finally removed from the area by the brunette woman he was accompanied by. 

A louder knock snapped you out of your thoughts, along with a familiar, even louder voice. “I know you heard me! You have five seconds to answer before I burst in there.” Your older sister’s noisy voice blared through your closed door and you sat up, defeated, before shouting back at her to enter already. She came in immediately after the words left your lips, your younger sister trailing behind her with a scowl on her face, immediately shielding herself from the sun shining through your windows.

“God, ever heard of blackout curtains? It’s like you live right next to the sun or some shit.” Opal complained, before face planting on your bed, bumping you roughly in the process, making you scowl at the back of her head. “My head is killing me, I’m literally never drinking again.” Her voice was muffled in your sheets as she let out a loud groan.

You rolled your eyes, laughing at her pain in the process. That’s what she gets for drinking more than she could handle. “You can follow through with that after tonight. I’m invoking my birthday privileges for you to party with your older sister one last night.” You crossed your legs under the blanket, a smug smirk on your face.

Valerie lips tugged as well as she leaned her head on your doorframe, and to your surprise nodded in agreement. “Yeah, baby sis. You can’t punk out the last night. It’s not like you don’t get this drunk or worse while you’re away at university.” You were shocked she was also trying to convince your younger sister, with her being the responsible one and all, but you didn’t question it, as you knew this was definitely a one time thing.

You nodded vigorously, cosigning her statement as Opal lifted her head momentarily to flip the both of you off. “Whatever.” She replied. “I’m going to need a nap though. A long one.” She turned her body towards the wall, signifying she meant right this moment, and you giggled before turning back towards Valerie, whose face was suddenly reading concern. 

“What?” You asked at her demeanor change, knowing her all too well. She could never hide her facial expressions, you were a lot like her in that way. 

Her body tensed slightly, before walking over to your bed, and basically sat on you, prompting you to move your body so she could lie down, forcing you between your two sisters, one who seemed to already be sleeping soundly. 

“We need to talk about last night.” She insisted, and you cringed inwardly, knowing this moment was coming.

“About?” You asked, feigning cluelessness, not wanting to have this conversation whatsoever. 

“About Choso.” Her words were stressed and your face scrunched at her sudden change of tone. It reminded you of when you were younger and had to get a rare scolding from her, it was a “motherly” voice she put on, showing you that what she had to say was going to be of significant importance. 

You looked down from her then, suddenly feeling too small to look her in her eyes before she continued when you didn’t respond.

“Sweetheart, I know you like him and he does seem to treat you well, but that fight last night? You know that was unacceptable.” She let out a sigh and folded her arms over the comforter before continuing. “Granted, Suguru probably deserved it, but did you even ask the details of what happened? How it started?” 

To be completely honest, you didn’t have the answers to her questions. You didn’t even know why the two of them were near the club to begin with. You figured you didn’t want to know any of the details before, but Valerie’s inquisitions were making you rethink things, making you crave the answers now. There was another part of you though, that believed ignorance was bliss, with you content in the birdseye view that Suguru had gotten a well-deserved ass whooping for breaking your heart. There was definitely not a nagging feeling inside you that Choso played a part in this situation, with you also wondering what the hell he was doing there in the first place. It didn’t take you long to shake your head at your sister’s inquiry and your thoughts that seemed to take a turn, in which she let out another sad sigh.

“Please just be careful, sis. You seem to attract these crazed, obsessive men and-”

You quickly cut her off, suddenly offended by her words in insulting Choso. “Choso is not crazy or obsessive. He’s someone I care about immensely and has done nothing but protect me from the actual insane man within this whole equation.” Your head shot up as you spoke, words and eyes seemingly piercing through your older sister. She can say what she wants about Suguru, with both Valerie and Opal at the receiving end of your endless cries and breakdowns from each time the two of you had a fight or broken up, but hearing any sort of criticism on Choso was where you drew the line. He hadn’t been the one stomping on your heart, inciting fear in you, that had been Suguru. 

Her eyes softened suddenly, making you feel a pang of guilt at your unexpected outburst. “I wasn’t saying he was crazy or obsessive, I was just saying you tend to attract these sorts of men for some awful reason. I’m just warning you to tread lightly.” Her hand grabbed yours before giving a small squeeze. “I don’t want you to end up hurt again. You have no idea the agony I felt knowing you were hurting everyday for two years because of that cheating asshole.” 

Your heart swelled at her words, really feeling like shit for snapping on her now, as she was only trying to help. Your older sister had always been protective over you, she had to be with your parents up and disappearing, making her fight to keep the three of you together as you hopped from one foster home to another. She had fought for custody at such a young age, taking on the burden of raising two children with only one income, working herself silly. She was your superwoman, there to shield you from harm and defend you from anything thrown your way. 

You squeezed her hand in return, before reaching over to give her a complicated side hug, due to your uncomfortable position in bed. “I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to protect me.” You said into the hug with sincerity, prompting her to press her body against yours tighter.

“Don’t worry about it. He does seem like a nice guy for what it’s worth.” The two of you pulled away and she was smiling, her grin almost identical to yours, along with that twinkle in her eyes. “Plus, it is kind of romantic that he beat your ex-boyfriend’s butt for you.” She giggled and you laughed in return before sitting back on your headboard with a small sigh and a smile.

Last night, before your Uber could arrive, Choso basically forced you and your sisters to cancel the ride, insisting on driving you home instead. You had tried to decline, claiming he was in no mental state to drive, but he’d easily convinced you otherwise, with that domineering tone in his voice claiming that he wasn’t taking no for an answer, anyway, making you heed to his orders.

This prompted a slightly awkward introduction of your small family to the man you were currently seeing. 

“Uh…well, this is Choso.” You introduced him to your sisters with a small voice in a ‘ta-da’ motion, when Valerie and Opal (by the grace of God,) stumbled across the street, identical worried looks on their features, brows furrowed and mouths twisted into frowns.

Choso rubbed the back of his neck, sporting a small smile before you continued.

“Choso, these are my sisters I told you about, Valerie and Opal.” You pointed to your siblings as you said their names and Valerie gave him a blank look in return, obviously not liking her first impression of him, and you couldn’t blame her, he’d just been in a pretty bloody altercation.

Your younger sister on the other hand, had a mouthful to say. “Jesus, sis! You didn’t tell us he was fucking hot.” She slurred and your cheeks warmed, eyes widening as well before she continued. “I mean, you did say he was hot, but fuck-”

“That’s enough.” Valerie cut in before linking her arm with your younger sibling, who was currently protesting, claiming she did nothing wrong. She was ignored though, before your older sister spoke again with conviction. “If you’re gonna give us a ride, do it now please so we can get her to bed.”

Opal’s scoffs and objections were loud as you turned to Choso whose cheeks were red as he looked at you with an unreadable look in his eyes. Your eyes pleaded with his and he quickly nodded, understanding you without words, before clearing his throat. “Yeah, of course. Let me lead you to where I parked.” 

The car ride back wasn’t too awkward, with Opal’s excessive babbling about the security guard who you’d soon learned name was Ino. Apparently, they were the same age and she had gotten his number, claiming she was already “in love.” That earned her a scolding from both you and Valerie, with Choso listening in, letting out small chuckles and hand squeezes to yours every now and then. 

“Yeah, he’s a sweetheart.” You’d said softly with a yawn, suddenly tired and wanting to catch up on some rest just as Opal had the brilliant idea of doing. It wasn’t long before you fell into a deep slumber, your lifelines on either side of you as warmth.

It was evening when you’d finished getting ready. Apparently, you, your sisters, and Andrea were all going out to dinner as part of your birthday celebration. The three of you had to pick her up from her apartment first, Andrea claiming it was smart to just go in one car instead of two and she was right, of course, since you were all going to the same place, anyway.

You looked in the mirror, admiring yourself. You had on a brown, thick, long sleeve fitted dress that reached your mid-thigh that you paired with sheer, barely visible stockings and your prized cream colored pair of red bottoms that Valerie bought you a few Christmases ago. Your dark hair was curled down your back, thanks to Valerie’s hairstyling skills. Opal did your makeup, giving you a light face beat, accentuating your natural beauty.

“You ready to go?” Your oldest sibling said from the corner of the room, dressed modestly compared to you, wearing all black again.

“Ready!” you blurted out, as you grabbed your small, cream colored arm purse, before leading them out of your mess of a bedroom, makeup and hair products everywhere, that you would deal with later.

The three of you pulled up to Andrea and Kento’s apartment and you were confused from the passenger seat as Valerie took the key out of the ignition. “I thought we were just picking her up?” You’d questioned, squinting your eyes between your siblings who were sporting poker faces.

A flamboyantly dressed Opal responded too quickly for your liking, that squint in your eyes never faltering. “She said there’s a gift for you to pick up first, then we’ll be on our way!” She jumped out the backseat and yelled “Come on!” at you when you didn’t immediately get out after her.

“I’m coming, jeez.” You rolled your eyes and stepped out of your older sister’s car, still silently questioning what was going on. They seemed rushed earlier in the day after your nap, forcing you in the shower while basically glued to their cellphones. You’d brushed it off earlier, not caring much as you were getting ready for the night anyway, but now you were wondering what all that was about now.

 You pulled out the key to your best friend’s place as you walked towards the Nanami’s residence. She’d also had a set for your apartment, and while the two of you rarely used them, it was useful now. You stepped up to unlock her apartment door and your sisters trailed behind you silently. You opened the door to a completely dark room, causing you to look around in said darkness, confusion written on your features.

“The fuck…” You started as you walked inside, attempting to look for the light switch, when a flicker of a light and a loud “Surprise!” came out of nowhere, causing you to basically jump out your skin.

Your eyebrows were raised as you looked around the room to see it was full of people, balloons, and happy birthday decorations. You saw familiar faces from work and your university smiling at you, causing your heart to swell at the sight. They all came for you? You’d figured you didn’t have many friends anymore, with you falling off the face of the earth when you were involved in that previous toxic relationship of yours. 

Your eyes were searching for a certain face in particular, when Andrea ran up, beaming at you with a loud squeal, and gave you a huge hug, making you almost fall down in the process. You laughed and the smile widened on your face. “Happy birthday, bitch!” She yelled in your face as you pulled away from the hug, eyes lit up like the sun, so grateful it was making you forget you were supposed to be upset with her for leaving the previous night.

Kento was beside her smiling, and soon gave you a small, awkward hug. “Happy birthday.” He spoke curtly and politely, in which you gave him a thank you with a big grin. You were thankful for him as well, for last night and for this party he played a part in as well.

It didn’t take long for you to start making your rounds around the large living room, making conversation with everyone and catching up, being sure to thank them for coming in the process. It was good to catch up with everyone, with it all feeling so natural as you talked to each and every one of your old friends.

It wasn’t long before Andrea was at your side, linking her arm through yours. You looked at her with raw emotion as tears blurred your vision. “Did you do all of this?”

She gave you a smile. “As much as I want to take all the credit, it wasn’t just me.” Andrea joked and you let out a small giggle. “Your sisters helped too.” You looked over at your siblings and they were currently in the kitchen, playing a drinking game with some of your old university friends. Your heart warmed as the tears threatened to fall from your eyes. 

“You better not start crying, your makeup looks too damn good for that!” Andrea all but shouted. “I have one more surprise for you.” Your brows furrowed as she pointed to her balcony. “There’s one more surprise for you out there. I’ll let you go get it yourself.” She smirked at you, then let your arm go. Before you could respond, she walked away quickly and joined whatever drinking game everyone was playing.

You walked towards their large balcony, heart hammering in your chest at what you already knew was behind those doors.

As soon as you opened the balcony doors, you were greeted by the cool air, along with endless vases of yellow sunflowers covering the ground. There seemed to be an incredible number of them, as there was only a small walkway free from the plants that led to Choso, who was currently sitting down on one of the lawn chairs, seemingly unaware that you’d entered his vicinity. Your heart raced at the scene before you, with all the blood seemingly rushing to your head, causing your face to feel hot despite the cold weather. Those tears you were holding in were set free, with a couple falling in which you dabbed away quickly with the back of your hand as a small sniff left your body.

His eyes snapped towards yours, seeming to hear your sniffles and he stood to his feet immediately. Your eyes caught his concerned ones and you smiled widely at the sight of the handsome man, with his hair down in a dark beanie, and he was sporting a silver chain and his bright earrings. He was dressed in all black, with a thick black jacket over a t-shirt with baggy jeans and Doc Martens on his feet.

Choso all but ran over to you and immediately enveloped you in a kiss with his soft lips. His arms wrapped around your entire body, warming you up. You were giggling from the rough and urgent kiss he was giving you as you felt him smile back into the kiss, not letting you go. “You’re crying, but you’re laughing.” He stated as a question when he pulled away, not helping your chuckles.

“I’m crying because I’m happy.” You let out and he let out a breath of relief he seemed to be holding in. 

“Okay, good. I thought you didn’t like it for some reason.” He tilted his head down at you, before swiping away a tear that threatened to roll down your face, giving you a small closed-lipped smile.

You shook your head at his ridiculous assumption, looking into his pools of darkness that seemed to twinkle like stars in the night. “I love it.”

His smile remained at your response, as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek, before leading you to the  chair on the corner of the large balcony, the only other place not covered by flowers. He sat first before placing you onto his lap sideways, his strong thighs holding you up with ease as he burned holes into you, taking you in.

“You look fucking ravishing.” He breathed out, sincerity on his face. “Fucking stunning, beautiful, perfect, angelic.” He looked you up and down, taking a long time to admire you completely, causing your organs to stir and feel hot as his dark eyes scanned you, not missing a single detail. “I’m so lucky.” He continued, before those dark orbs looked back into yours, a small smile playing on his lips.

Your cheeks were burning at this point, all self-consciousness thrown off the balcony as each compliment left his perfect pink lips. “Thank you, Choso.” You beamed, before wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat that sped up as you held him tighter. 

You gave a shiver, suddenly remembering how cold it was outside in the night, before Choso took off his jacket and put it over your shoulders, before wrapping his large arms around your waist, warming your heart at his gentlemen-like gesture.

“I have something to ask you.” His deep voice suddenly rumbled against the side of your head, causing you to lift your head to look up at the man who spoke, a red blush on his cheeks as nervous his eyes peered into yours, before continuing. “Will you be my girlfriend, sunflower? Please?” 

Your eyebrows lifted at the question, heart hammering out your chest like a comedy TV show character. You? Choso Kamo’s girlfriend? As unhinged as you were, this kind, patient, incredible man wanted you to be his? You felt like you were in a dream and you had to refrain from pinching yourself as that probably wouldn't be socially acceptable in this situation. Dream or not, you were definitely going to say yes.

“Choso…” You started, water swelling in your orbs again as your lip began quivering. The poor man’s face read shock again, as if he hadn’t grown accustomed to your tears of emotion already, causing you to smile and let out a small laugh before continuing. “Of course I will."

His shoulders relaxed then, a wide smile growing on that beautiful face, his beautiful birthmark scrunching on his nose and eyes crinkling. His soft lips were placed on yours shortly after, moving ferociously against yours, you tasting the saltiness of the tears that had rolled down your face against your will. You felt warm as he enveloped you as if he would never let you go, seemingly afraid you would run away from his embrace, which you never would. 

He was yours forever, whether he liked it or not.

Chapter Thirteen is Posted

#choso #choso x black!reader #choso x reader #choso x female reader #choso x black y/n #choso x y/n #choso smut #choso x you #choso angst #choso fluff #yandere choso #geto suguru #getou suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto x black reader #geto x female reader #geto x you #geto x y/n #geto angst #yandere geto #jjk #jjk angst #jjk fluff #jjk smut #jjk fic #jjk x reader #jjk x black reader #jjk x female reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n

[stedefxckingbonnet]

PLEASE WRITE BEING IZZY'S LOVER (gn) AND IZZY ACTUALLY SURVIVED BECAUSE IDK THEY EITHER MISSED OR THE LOVER MANAGED TO SAVE HIM OR ANYTHING I JUST NEED TO SAVE THIS MAN 😭🙏

I GOT YOU!!! Here's my little fix-it fic, all! Writing this made me feel a bit better because my god I finally brought myself to watching the finale even after knowing all that happened already and wow I was not okay. But perhaps this fic is me turning poison into positivity in my own way? Yeah. Yeah! I'll leave it at that :) This one is a bit shorter but, it's short and sweet, I thinl!

I didn't really want to recount the battle itself, just more-so the aftermath, so please keep that in mind whilst reading in case it feels like I dove in a bit too suddenly and quickly!

Keep the requests coming, all! I love you all so, so dearly.

Love,

Lavinia

My Favorite | Izzy Hands x Reader

Warnings: light angst (but there's fluff GALORE and it ends happily, i swear!), some strong language, brief mentions of being shot, tending to an injury/mentions of injury (non-graphic descriptions)

Word Count: 1481

In your periphery, you couldn't help but notice Izzy suddenly hunched over, clutching his stomach. Everyone else managed to continue charging forward with their weapons, but you had other plans, and knew that both you and Izzy would be better for it. You rushed over to him without any hesitation, slinging his arm around you gently as you ushered him back to the ship as quickly as you could. His breathing staggered and the sound of it motivated you to move even faster.

You managed to rush him back to your quarters; in case the rest of the crew came stumbling onto The Revenge again, you would be able to focus on the most important mission of your life—helping Izzy Hands survive.

"I'm alright, love," Izzy breathed out, looking up at you as you cleaned the wound and prepared to bandage it.

"Clearly, you aren't," you laughed sadly, fighting back tears as you worked.

"You don't have to do this, you know," he sighed as he spotted you scrambling all over the place, very clearly in a panic about all of this. You so badly wanted to stop right there and scold him. You didn't have to do this? Was he fucking kidding? Of course you had to do this, you wanted to do this. You wanted him to be okay, needed him to be. You wanted to take away the harm brought upon him. You wanted to see him live another day and many, many more. You craved to see him go on to send you another one of his not-so-discreet-anymore smiles that got you through the toughest of times. You don't have to do this? How could he be so foolish? He was by far the most intelligent aboard the ship and yet, he still managed to say such a silly thing.

"Did you hear me?"

"Oh, I heard you," you almost seethed. "And once again, I will be ignoring your request."

"You manage to go and do that so much and yet, you're still my favorite," he weakly shook his head as he looked up at the ceiling and laughed under his breath.

You stopped in your tracks, for just a moment. You figured you could—Izzy was all patched up and all that was left to do was sit with him and make sure the bleeding stops and give him food, water, anything else he needed, and you were beyond happy to do so. You needed to be sure he was okay. But what he had just admitted to you earned quite a bit of a shock from you, a shock you couldn't quite process running all around the room. "I'm your favorite?"

He laughed once again, coughing immediately after and reaching to clutch his abdomen once again. You immediately sat down beside him, not realizing you had started to gently touch his cheek. "Isn't that fucking obvious? Everyone else sure as hell knows it."

You couldn't help but laugh yourself. "I guess? I don't know. You're my favorite too, you know."

"Oh, don't bother lying just because I'm injured," Izzy teased, reaching out to flick you in the arm.

"I'm not lying!" you threw your hands up in a playful surrender. "I mean it, Izzy. You know I do. And I don't want anything happening to you. I don't know what I'd do if you..." and with that, the tears began to spill out. Izzy knew there was no use trying to sit up, but he was able to extend his arm around you.

"I signed up for this," he shrugged.

"As long as I'm around, you are not dying any fucking time soon. Okay? You got that?"

Izzy's lips formed a smirk. "I love it when you get feisty."

"Shut up," you rolled your eyes as you giggled. Though suddenly, your expression hardened, and even Izzy noticed you were about to say something of the serious vein. "You really scared me back there, Iz."

Izzy could only sigh—he knew that none of the words he could muster would be enough to relieve you just yet, or even at all. And what was he supposed to say, anyway? That he was sorry he let himself get shot? Sorry that he didn't immediately seek help? Sorry that you had to see that? That he was so fucking exhausted of the life he's made for himself after all?

You made your way over to the foot of the bed, carefully sitting and stroking his leg. "I'm sorry," you suddenly lamented.

"Why are you sorry?"

"You just really scared me. I didn't want to lose you but I don't want you feeling bad about it either because it wasn't your fault you got hurt," you sighed, averting your eyes from his gaze.

Izzy slowly sat up, rubbing your upper back before gently wrapping his arm around you and resting his head upon your shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere, you know. I promise."

"I know," you exhaled. "I just...I could have lost you, and that thought absolutely haunts me every time we raid or duel or see another ship at all, or even just roam about the Republic of Pirates, but I know this is your life and what you're used to and I would never yank you away from—"

"I don't want any of it anymore," Izzy suddenly admitted. "I'm tired. So fucking tired. And I don't even know how many wounds my body can take anymore."

You laughed sadly, craning your head over to look at him once again. Even after the years of suffering and pain that remained on his face at times, he was the most beautiful sight you had ever seen. And, he was healing as of late—you could see that, everyone could see that. "Well, what are you saying? And no, it isn't obvious—"

"I want to live," Izzy assured you. "But not this life. A different one."

"What would that look like to you?"

"I don't know," he whispered, almost ashamed of this answer.

"It's okay not to know. I'm up for anything as long as you are right there beside me," you reassured him as you planted a gentle kiss upon his forehead.

"Really? You'll stay with me?" Izzy asked in disbelief.

"I love you, Izzy. You. Not because you're Blackbeard's first mate, not because you're a pirate. Because you're you. You're Israel Hands. You are clever and caring and proud and you have so much else to offer this world, away from the sea. Beyond all this."

Izzy lifted his arms up from his sides, wincing as he did so, his hands flying back to his abdomen. You smiled softly as you ever so carefully wrapped your arms around him, making sure not to squeeze so tight. One of your hands made its way up to the back of his head as you gently ran your fingers through his hair. You suddenly heard him whimpering and it brought tears to your own eyes. At last, he spoke. "Fuck you."

You couldn't help but giggle as you sat back up once again.

"I love you," Izzy spoke sincerely, hoping with every part of him that this came across. By now, your face was in his hands, and he looked at you in such a way that truly did confirm his tenderness, his endless adoration that he reserved for you and only you.

You knew exactly the response he was searching for. He knew that you had love for him already—you were never exactly subtle about it. And he never exactly minded it. "I know that, Iz. I promise you."

"Suppose we should say goodbye to everyone?"

"We will. I just want to be here with you right now."

"I wouldn't mind that."

You lay down beside Izzy, draping your arm over his chest as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. He hums happily as you do, and he instantly settles into the warmth you provide. Before you know it, your eyes flutter shut and even in your dreams, Izzy Hands is there and you are together and you are living without fear and judgment, and the only thing you're stressing about is what to make for breakfast that day even though he'll always mumble, "Anything will do, darling." Perhaps whatever life the two of you should lead will come to you in your dreams and you will eagerly share these ideas once you awaken. In this moment, you were just grateful to get to spend the rest of your life with none other than him, and it almost didn't matter what endeavors you embarked on alongside one another from this moment forward. You finished the ditty Izzy was humming before you succumbed to the sweet dreams he wished upon you, and you looked forward to your dreams that were about to come true in just a few hours.

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #izzy hands x reader #ofmd season 2 #x reader #izzy hands my beloved #ofmd s2 #fanfic #ofmd izzy hands #fix it fic #fix it au #izzy is alive and well wdym? #fluff #light angst #requests open #keep the requests coming #please request #established relationship

[roguekhajiit]

TW: Transphobia

I had my first ever encounter with a transphobic member of the LGBTQ community this week.

At work on Monday, I overheard some co-workers discussing Transgender Day of Visibility and how President Biden issued a statement acknowledging Trans Day. Since it just so happened to occur on the same day as Easter this year, my very close-minded co-workers took that and Biden's statement as evidence that Trans people are trying to take over Easter!

Now, I consider myself to be Non-binary (specifically Demi-girl/Agender), but I tend to fly under the radar, which is very helpful since I live in a very, very red state. It doesn't hurt that my normal sense of personal style is very casual and all black. So, I can wear traditionally "men's" pants, and no one pays much attention to me, which is the way I prefer it. I hate anything that draws attention to myself.

So, I bit my tongue and hyperfocused on my work. Then, when I went home, the non-binary gremlin in me just couldn't be contained anymore; I opened Reddit and made a post about how no one is going around trying to steal stolen holidays.

Now, I was fully anticipating pissed off Christians to rain their uninhibited fake outrage down onto the comment section (which happened) but I wasn't anticipating a self-identified 60 yr old gay man to come into my comments saying things like, "Why would you put a Trans holiday anywhere near a religious holiday knowing every seven years it's gonna land on said holiday" and "As a gay man I believe that the one part of our community is stifling the rest of us."

Tell me you're transphobic without telling me you're transphobic.

Now, since I can't just ignore the sheer inaccuracy of his math; according to Google from 2001 to 2100, Easter will only land on March 31st 5 times. Five times in an entire century. The last time Easter was on March 31st, it was 2013. So, 11 years ago, or over a decade ago. No one gave a shit in 2013 that Easter and Trans Day were on the same day. But let the president acknowledge it in a statement and everyone loses their fucking minds.

So, why would you avoid celebrating something important in your life on the off chance that it might coincide with someone's religious holiday? Of course, you wouldn't. If your birthday is on Christmas, do you no longer have a birthday?

"Next, why wouldn't you place it in the month of pride then each day of pride month could have a different day celebrating each letter of the lbgtq+ community."

Yes, that is what Pride Month is for, celebrating the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community. But are you gay only in June?

But sadly, even some in our diverse community isolate and vilify trans individuals just like what this old gay dinosaur is doing. For 15 years, a vast majority didn't know or even give a shit that Trans Day existed. That is until a president acknowledged it.

"May I point out there's no gay holidays that coincide with Yom kipper or Ramadan."

True, Yom Kippur and Ramadan don't coincide with any "gay holidays," but Shavout is directly in the middle of Pride Month. Any outrage there?

"So just piss off the Christian's so they have one more thing to hate us for. I find many in our community asking for acceptance while giving none, just my opinion and nothing more."

How very accepting of you to say, my lord.

"Maybe it's time we all in the gay community and cis people give the whole year to the Trans community."

But they aren't asking for the year, or even a month. They just want one day that is their own. And even members of our own LGBTQ+ community can't even give them that.

"I'm gay so I can't be transphobic."

Your statements say otherwise. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you are absolved of your transphobia.

Perhaps it's time we stop placating these dusty ass old gay dinosaurs and call them out on their hateful thinking. Their "I got mine" attitude only harms our communities. Just because you won the fight for same sex marriage doesn't mean you're safe. The fight for equality is never-ending.

More and more of us are having our rights stripped away right before our very eyes. Roe v. Wade has already been overturned, and they aren't going to stop there. They never planned to stop there. They are very methodically chipping away at our rights. Right now, they are focusing their efforts on the trans community, slowly outlawing their very existence. And while they have you distracted by that, they are quietly overturning same sex marriage laws. Your rights aren't safe and never will be safe as long as we have members in our communities who subscribe to this kind of thinking.

#trans community #trans day of visibility #transgender #trans rights #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+ #lgbtqplus #transphobes #reddit #nonbinary #demigirl #demisexual #agender

[honeybeefae]

shower sex with cass? btw, love this idea and your writing ❤️

Soapy Surprise (Cassian x Reader)

BINGO: Shower Sex

(Another fun one and I know I’ve said this before but I am a Cassian girly. I love him. I loved this. Also, I can't believe we haven't gotten a bingo yet?! Enjoy!)

WARNINGS: Smut

“I totally won.” You laughed as you walked into the cabin, stomping your feet to remove the snow that still clung to your boots. “No wonder you always are in last place for the annual snowball fight. You suck.”

Cassian rolled his eyes as he walked in behind you, shaking his head that was wet with snow. “I let you win, kid. If I unleashed my full power you wouldn’t be able to participate in the actual fight.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.” You grinned while shrugging off your heavy jacket. The cabin was quiet, the rest of your group out doing their own thing while leaving the two of you alone. You didn’t mind though nor did Cassian. The two of you had become fast friends since you first met and everything was just easy when it came to him.

You rubbed your hands together and glanced over at him, surprised to see he was already watching you. He gave you a small smile that made your heart beat faster but you ignored it. You weren’t going to look into anything that could cause your friendship harm.

“I’m gonna go warm up in the shower but I’ll be down in ten, okay?” You say while pointing your finger at him. “Do not drink all my wine again.”

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded, giving you a two-finger salute which made you snort. You quickly ascended the stairs and picked the largest bathroom in the house, shutting the door behind you. The thought of locking it made you pause but you ignored it, knowing Cassian wouldn’t let anything happen to you. 

The bathroom was made for the Illyrians but you greedily used it whenever you could. It had a giant skylight and bathtub underneath it that was large enough to fit their wings comfortably while the shower had a rainfall head and glass doors that made it steam up nicely. You were half tempted to ask Rhys who built it so you could have one in your apartment.

Your clothes were difficult to get off due to the wetness but eventually you shucked them off, leaving them in a small pile by the door. The only sound in the room was the soft pads of your feet as you turned the water on and waited for it to heat up. 

Steam quickly filled the room and you took a deep breath, enjoying the way the heat immediately began to warm your skin as you stepped into the scalding water. You closed your eyes and let it run over your bare skin, tipping your head back and relaxing your shoulders.

As you started your washing routine you missed the door opening from how loud the shower was. The glass door opened behind you and you only noticed when a cool breeze hit the back of your body.

“What the fuck?!” You shouted, trying to cover yourself when you saw Cassian beginning to undress. “Cassian what the hell are you doing?”

“Relax!” He griped, tossing his boxers behind him and stepping into the giant shower. You flattened yourself against the wall, your head turned to the side as you looked up at the ceiling to avoid staring at him. “I was cold as hell and thought I would join you.”

“I am naked Cassian.” You growled, questioning his common sense as he brushed off your concerns.

“I could care less, Y/N. I just wanted to wash myself really quick and this is the only shower that can fit me. In fact, why didn’t you go to a different shower?” He cocked his head, watching as you turned around in anger and disbelief.

“Because I called dibs on the shower first, idiot!” You argued, not even caring that your body was now fully exposed. “If you would learn to wait your turn this wouldn’t be happening.”

“Well, regardless, I’m not leaving. So either suck it up and be an adult or leave.” He smirked, grabbing your shampoo to begin washing his hair. You swore you saw red as you snatched it out of his hand.

“I’m not leaving, I was here first.” You frowned, turning back around to finish washing the suds out of your hair. “Just…stay on your side.”

“No problem, kid. Just keep your eyes at an appropriate level.” He snickered, dodging the bottle of shampoo that you threw at his head. 

The two of you took your showers in relative silence, both of you sneaking glances when you thought the other couldn’t see, but just as you were about to finish up Cassian cleared his throat.

“Can I ask you for a favor?” He said softly, his wings dropped so he could see you over his shoulder. You raised an eyebrow and lightly shook your head. 

“I swear to the Mother if you ask me to wash your d-” You began but stopped when he shouted before you could finish your sentence, smiling as his face grew red.

“You need to get your mind out of the gutter. I just need you to wash the bottom of my wings.” Cassian rolled his eyes, holding out the washcloth. However you hesitated, the air suddenly growing thick. You knew how sensitive their wings were and how selective they were about who touched them. Cassian himself had told you about it.

“Are you…are you sure?” You asked slowly, gingerly taking the rag. He nodded and extended his wings outwards.

“I’m not a barbarian, kid. I can control myself. Just do it quick and don’t make it weird.” 

You took a deep breath and rolled your shoulders, trying to rationalize it in your mind before you could chicken out. It was just one naked friend helping another naked friend wash a hard-to-reach spot. Nothing weird about it…right?

Your fingers shook as you started on his left wing, stopping briefly when he tensed before pushing through to get it over with. The tension was building quickly as you did your best to wipe thoroughly yet softly, not wanting to tear the delicate skin. He was stiller than you had ever seen him as you tried to control your breathing.

As you finished up the left side and began to go to the right you caught a very brief glance of his cock. It was hard and standing proudly, itching to be stroked. Both of his hands were fisted at his side as you waivered over his right wing.

“Cassian I can-” You began but he snapped at you, his voice straining.

“Just hurry up.” He snapped, his back muscles flexing as you bit down on your lip and nodded. The sight of him hard was burning in your eyes but not painfully. No, you liked it. You would have to be blind to not see how handsome he was but you also didn’t want to ruin your friendship with him.

Sex complicated things and you didn’t want that, no matter how much you did want him. It was your dirty little secret and you weren’t going to bring it to light. 

He shuddered when you ran the soft material along the inner ridge, his cock jumping in need. You felt a mix of desire and guilt in your gut, knowing this was just a natural reaction and he probably was embarrassed. 

You finished up the rest of your cleaning at record speed, practically throwing the rag back at him and mumbling something about needing to get downstairs. As you began to walk past him you felt an iron grip wrap around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

The water was still hot as you waited there, holding your breath. Cassian tightened his grip for a brief moment before he let you go, his hand falling back to his side. You hated the way you wish he had pulled you into him.

You made the mistake of looking back at him and you couldn’t stop your eyes from falling to his cock, a sharp wave of arousal going straight to your pussy as you swiftly raised them back up to his face. It was too late, of course. He could smell you.

And before you could plead your innocence or apologize you felt him grab your hip and pull you into his wet body. Cassian’s face was tilted down as he watched you, water droplets running down his chest as he clenched his jaw in restraint.

“This shower was a mistake.” He whispered, cupping your face softly and running his thumb over your cheek. “We need to get out and pretend this didn’t happen.”

Neither one of you moved.

Your mind was screaming at you to run, to save whatever scrap of friendship would still be alive after this encounter before it was ruined forever. However, with the way he was looking at you and how good his body felt against yours, you ignored it.

“What do you want me to do?” You asked softly, opening your mouth when his thumb caught your bottom lip. He slipped it inside and you rolled your tongue around it, drunk off the scent of his musk and your own arousal. 

Cassian groaned as the feeling went straight to his cock. He swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing before he dipped his head down so that his forehead was against your own. You sighed when he removed his thumb, peeking up at him through your eyelashes as the two of you stood at the point of no return.

“Whatever you want…just touch me.” His voice was now desperate as he closed his eyes in anticipation. You waited for a brief moment before raising up on your tiptoes to kiss him, your hand wrapping around his large cock to test the waters.

He hissed through his teeth from your soft touch, his hips involuntarily bucking. You couldn’t believe how pent up he already was so you decided to take mercy on him, stroking him as you moved your lips across his face.

You dipped down to his collarbone and nipped at the thin skin, enjoying the red marks that appeared in your wake. He was barely hanging on by a thread as you jacked him off, the size difference alone making him want to bend you over and break you. 

One of his hands was lazily running up and down your back as you stepped closer to him, your own juices coating your inner thighs as you used your free hand to stroke the front of his wings. Cassian growled a warning but you just gave him a smug smirk, feeling totally in control as you took the tips of your fingernails and ran it all the way down.

“If you don’t stop soon, I’m going to cum.” He grunted, nostrils flaring as you increased the speed of your strokes.

“Do it, Cass.” You taunted, gazing up at him through heavy lids. “Cum all over my hand. Be a good boy for me.”

The boldness of your words surprised you but you both loved it, his lip catching between his teeth as he lost himself in the feeling of you pleasuring him. You watched in anticipation, wanting to see the face he made as he spilled his seed, and when you used the pad of your thumb to swipe under the pink head he lost it.

Your name fell off his lips like a prayer as he threw his head back and groaned, his hips following your hand as he came all over your hand and stomach. It was one of the hottest things you had ever seen and did nothing to cure the ache between your legs, noting how his cock stayed hard even after he had stopped thrusting.

His chest was rising and falling quickly as he looked down at you, a primal hunger in his eyes that had your own breath catching in your throat. You dropped your hand and took a step back but Cassian was quick to pull you towards him, moving so that you were trapped between his body and the wall.

“Your turn.” He whispered, smirking as his wings surrounded the two of you. 

#acotar #acotar reader #acotar reader smut #acotar fic #acotar smut #acotar bingo #cassian #cassian x reader #cassian x reader smut #cassian acotar #cassian smut #cassian acotar smut #acotar imagine #smut #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[misscammiedawn]

it’s literally your own fault that you have trauma from personality play, idiot. why the fuck would you EVER engage in intense kink with people you didn’t trust/people who didn’t believe in hypnosis/etc. and not practice the most obvious safety precautions during lmao. moronic behavior honestly.

Wasn't 100% sure if I should reply or delete-- My rule is to delete anon-hate without a second thought and the moment the word 'idiot' was brought out it fell into that category. So firstly, no sympathy/support either for the message or the circumstances please. I'm not here for that and it undermines the point if people focus on that.

Buuut here's the thing. I know. This isn't an accusation or an insult or even mean. Everything you say is in the body of the Ethical Personality Play post. Like-- uuuh--- I dunno what to say? Congrats, you read the post?

Fact is these events happened 15+ years ago and the community lacked the support, education and structure that it has now. I'm trying to help build something which I needed back then. Will I save everyone? No. Can I help like one person? I hope so.

But like, I was a self-destructive moronic idiot 15+ years ago and I am sorta open about it?

Like here are direct quotes (key quotes bolded):

I have experience with this fallacy myself. In utilizing hypnosis to ignore my triggers I did severe damage to myself and I am now plagued with intrusive memories and nightmares of events that happened during scenes that I was able to effortlessly indulge in during the scene but as they say "The body keeps the score" and I was in fact doing further damage to myself. Something which my partner at the time was not equipped to deal with because I'd failed to disclose or even treat the situation as worth being safe about. Now I am just burdened with further damage by ignoring my brain's defenses on my existing pain.

Likewise I want to note the power imbalance that comes from play like this. A motivated hypnotee can fling themselves into this arena and do harm to the hypnotist. This does fly both ways. A hypnotee not advocating for themselves or exercising their agency will make a hypnotist accessory to the damage. This is a sin I have committed.

...look... I don't want to be an old lady yelling at the kids for doing things when I did them myself at that age. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't pretend I didn't see the allure on both sides of the watch.

I just... there weren't 20+ year experienced hypnosis veterans who had been in my character play abusing position when I was growing up. No one warned me. I learned all this the hard way and I hurt people. People I loved. Moreover I hurt me. In ways that will never heal. I just want to spare anyone I can the pain of going through this.

So--- like

Yeah. You read the post and understood it. I'm glad you read the post and understood it.

The landscape was different back then but that's no excuse. We were a fucking dumb child who wanted to be anyone but ourselves and acted recklessly because of it. We were a dangerous and toxic hypnotee and we should have known better.

That's the lesson. That's the point. I'm not here to ask forgiveness from the people I hurt or sympathy for the fact we fucked up. We just want to help build framework that didn't exist when we were starting out.

History on the hypnokink community is a topic that probably does need to be taught-- but if you're young enough that you've never known a place without framework, education and support then I'm glad, honestly. It means a lot of good people, dedicated people, have done work building houses my silly little essays can only manage to move pebbles with. I'm glad for that. Really.

The post isn't there for you to think "Poor Cammie :(" it's there for you to think "What an idiot, I'm never going to be like her"

So-- yeah-- I don't post anon-hate as a rule-- so thank you for the fan mail. Knee-jerk reaction aside, it makes me happy that you got the point.

#cammie asks #hypno asks #hypnokink #hypnokink writings

[folk-ivy]

Jealousy and unspoken feelings.

Chris Sturniolo x fem! reader

Chris' feelings are revealed when, at a stupid party, the girl he loves is seen in the arms of another guy.

angst, with a happy ending!

author’s notes: so, this is my fist imagine! I hope everyone enjoys it! english is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes💕

The party was at its peak, smoke and neon lights blurred my vision, screams, and loud music could be heard from blocks away and yet I felt out of place. Maybe it's because I never really cared for parties, or maybe it's because Nick promised me that if I went to this party with them and his two brothers, he would watch a few episodes of Alice in Borderland with me, but I really wanted to leave. I lost track of my friends a long time ago, and I decided that now would be a good time to go looking for them, so that we could finally leave.

As I start to get up from the small wooden bench I was sitting on in a random corner of the three-story house, I feel a hand touch my shoulder.

"Hey, I think you're really pretty, what do you say about dancing with me?" a stranger with blond hair and green eyes asked me.

I was about to politely say no, but something told me to just forget my worries and—for the first time in my life—enjoy a party.

"Um, okay!" I respond as I feel him pull my hand to the dance floor. The music got louder and I could feel sweaty bodies touching me, but before I could start mentally complaining about the deplorable situation I found myself in, I felt a hand on my waist, pulling me to start a lively dance.

Me and the handsome stranger danced and danced, and I really couldn't remember how long it had been since I felt so happy and so free in my entire life. As I approached to ask his name, I felt a hand pulling my arm roughly—but somehow without causing any harm—off the dance floor.

Before I can start screaming, I see who's pulling me: Chris

"What the fuck, Chris?" I shout, trying to stand out over the loud music.

The boy doesn't listen to me and continues to walk out of the house, while I, with a confused expression on my face, let him lead me.

As soon as we get outside and the sound of the music has become more muffled, I rip my arm out of his grip and scream at him. "What the fuck was that? I was having fun!"

“Having fun making out with another guy? So much fun" he spits the words in my face.

"What?" I ask, this time with lower vocal volume, but perhaps more confused than before, after all, Chris and I have never been anything more than friends. He can't be jealous, can he?

“We're leaving, Matt is already on his way" he says in a monotone and doesn't spare me a look.

What the fuck is happening to him?

The wait for Matt was painfully slow, Chris was sitting on the lawn in front of the house while I was standing, shifting my weight from one leg to the other, fidgeting.

Matt finally arrives with Nick and gives me an apologetic look, leading the way to his car that was parked two blocks below the party location.

The trip to the triplets' house was boring, without conversations and laughter, just that tense atmosphere and Chris' occasional heavy breathing.

We arrived at their house, Matt unlocked the front door and Chris flew into his room, roughly bumping into my shoulder.

"What happened to him?" I asked the two who, fortunately, seemed to have more awareness of the situation than me.

“We don't really know, he just told us to leave and went towards him. By the way, who was that guy you were dancing with?" Nick says.

“I don't know, I couldn't ask your name before your lovely brother pulled me away." I say "I think I'll talk to him".

Nick and Matt give me a thumbs up and I head to his room, heading up the stairs to the second floor. I arrive in front of his door, take a deep breath and knock three times.

“Go away!" he says in a muffled voice, but I ignore him and enter the room.

“Chris, is everything okay?" I ask in a sweet voice, knowing something was wrong the moment I noticed the boy with his face buried in his pillow.

"I told you to go away!" he says, louder this time, raising his head towards me, and that's when I notice his red eyes and choked voice. I ignore him again, and sit on the corner of his bed.

“Chris, you need to talk to me, I want to help you"

“But you can not!" he sits in front of me and says, putting emphasis on the ‘not’.

"Chris just tell me what's going on" I say and place my hand on top of his, and feel his whole body relax.

"I like you! Like, I really like you! I've liked you since the day I saw you for the first time" he says euphorically, and I see a tear roll down his face.

"Oh Chris, I like you too!" I say with a smile.

“Not like this! I'm in love with you! I want you as more than a friend! I want to be the only person who can dance with you at a stupid party! I love you!" he says and I freeze. Not knowing what to say, obviously, I was in love with him too, after all, who could not fall in love with him? He was the kindest and funniest boy I've ever met, how could I just be friends with him?

“Look, I know you don't return the feelings, but it will pass, I don't want to lose your friendship, please don't leave!" he says and takes a breath to start talking again, but I cut him off with a kiss.

The kiss was gentle, and my right hand went to her cheek, wiping away a single stubborn tear that insisted on falling.

“I love you too, idiot"

#chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo x you

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Oh yeah make sure neglected people get love until that neglected person is a fucking narcissist. Cause all narcissists are bad. Everything I do is intentionally manipulative or maybe they'll say I'm not actually a narcissist and are just confused or supporting them cause I've been made to feel guilty. I've been on both sides. People will believe I'm a narcissist and so therefore I'm abusive or people will not believe I'm a narcissist cause I'm too nice and just getting caught up in narcissists manipulating me to support them.

I hate the idea that my self image is not by my choice. I will always be what OTHERS perceive me as. I have always been that and it will continue to be that. People will either see someone that can't do any wrong or someone that can only do wrong. Like stfu I am a person! I can do good and bad! I have a past of being toxic and harmful esp as a teenager cause I was a fucking mentally fucked teen still in an abusive situation.

I just. I dunno. Im waiting on food so I'm very like just ranty about everything and anything. But like. Stfu. Stfu stfu stfu stfu stfu. If anyone else is needy and needs attention or reassurance then it's fine. But I have had it demonized since my fucking childhood and had my fucking meltdowns demonized as being intentionally manipulative!!! I WAS A FIVE YEAR OLD AUTISTIC CHILD STFU!!!!!

And people praising empathy as being good piss me off. Cause you know what else can also have hypoempathy? AUTISM. Low empathy is not just an "evil" personality disorder thing. Anyone can be anywhere on the scale of empathy. And it doesn't fucking matter. And anyone can be capable of good or bad. It has literally nothing to do with narcissism or any disorder.

Like wtf are anti narcissists gonna fucking do when they realize theyve done harm??? Cause you know what being someone believing in narc abuse did to me?! It made me believe that i was justified as a victim of narcissists so therefore I couldn't be wrong in my trauma responses.

Yeah. Accepting im a narcissist did way more for helping my relationships by allowing me to understand and communicate my needs than believing in narc abuse and calling my parents narcissists ever fucking did. Wtf are they gonna do when they're told about the harm they've done??? Not even related to narc abuse. I would have horrible episodes and defended myself cause I wasn't like my abusive "narcissistic" parents. And all it did was lead to more fights and more episodes and my friend couldn't help cause they were dealing with trauma responses too (people pleasing, believing it was okay what I did or that she deserved it even when I told her not to say or believe that, it's a very lengthy explanation required thing.)

Anyone and everyone is capable of good and bad and is capable of harming others. Whether it's full on abuse, even worse things, or just being insensitive and thoughtless. Focusing so much on the big bad narcissists will only continue to focus on this "us vs them" mentality that completely negates any sort of nuance and ignores the fact that harmful people, abusers, and even the worst of humanity is ALLOWED by society. It isn't a prevalence of narcissists, it is fucking bigotry. And it is everywhere. And it allows abuse to be normalized.

Big list of things I been thinking on. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm already fucking stressed and my parents won't stfu so I can think and type. Disorganized speech, semiverbal, can't thinky think.

#actually narcissistic #actually traumatized #narcissistic #narcissism #surviving narcissism #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic personality disorder #ableism #npd stigma #narc abuse isn't real #narc abuse #cluster b safe #rant #semiverbal #disorganized speech #actually autistic

[rayshippouuchiha]

(tw: abuse, self-harm, suicide)

to child-free anon: you are absolutely valid. my mom has a similar problem. she's great to anyone who could enact consequences on her, but she made my and my siblings' childhood a living hell. it was an incredibly toxic environment to grow up in. i was regularly hit, yelled at, and manipulated by suicide threats, etc., all because a single thing ticked off my mom. the first time i contemplated suicide, i was 9. the first time i considered about killing her, i was 13.

as a child, i was convinced that she had two separate people in her brain, and i only wanted the "nice one". overall, she was an good mom. she took me on walks, baked with me, helped me with homework, and all the things a parent would normally do. sometimes she would be giddy and playful like a kid, and other times she would beat me for writing too hard in my notebook. i was deathly scared of the other half, constantly on edge for when it would come out.

she fucked me up so bad, and i loved her the entire time, because she was the only person who ever stayed with me. i craved her approval so viscerally in everything i did, but nothing was ever enough. she wanted everything from me, and i could only give so much.

i'm absolutely terrified of turning out like her because i can recognize so many of her behaviors in me too. i get auditory overloads easily, i bottle my anger up, and i have graphic intrusive thoughts that i can't always push away or ignore. my mom used to get severe light migraines and would scream for hours on end when she had them. i always think of them whenever i get panic attacks from an overload, and how much worse i would be if i had to deal with a kid during my migraines.

i adore children, but i would break any child i had myself. my peace and quiet is one of the few things i value above all else, and if someone breaks it, i wouldn't be able to restrain myself no matter how much i loved them. i know my mom despised herself for how she treated us, but she still did it.

you're saving someone by not having kids, and you're saving yourself too. never let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

Trauma is absolutely a completely valid reason to not want children, no matter the source. Just, I think it's so much more responsible to see these kinds of things in oneself and choose to take steps to contain any possible damage that could spill over onto others than to just ignore it or think it doesn't matter.

#RayRambles #abuse #abuse mention