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ashes-writing · 1 year

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stranger things ● summer of 86 pt 5 ● e.munson

warnings

idiots in love to the nth degree, lots of internal angst, robin and barb are gay and we're all here for it -you're going to see a lot more from them soon, trust-, affectionate touching / petnames, mentions of alcohol/smoking/w**d, swearing, eventual filth, reader suffers from gifted kid burnout but is.. also a workaholic apparently, mentions of the annoying and oh so judgmental small town mindset, internalized confusion / fear due to sexual pref -being gay in the 80's isn't fun and when I write Barb and Robin in a more romantic way, this will be reflected, marital conflicts ( tommy and carol , other 'couples' mentioned ) and tons of other stuff..

reader/you are a female with female parts. you/reader are the oldest Byers. you/reader have a very specific personality / clothing style and/or nicknames and petnames. this is yet another self indulgent thing and i'm not sorry at all.

word count

1701 exactly. for any context needed part 4 <- is here.

summary

"Hot date, right?" He's only half teasing, trying to fight off a surge of jealousy at the thought. You laugh and shrug. "Job interview count, Eddie?"

"Another one? Jesus H.Christ, woman, do you ever sleep?" he's laughing but he's looking at you in concern.

taglist + shoutouts

-- taglist is here <- click on that to be added to my taglist, (other fandoms incl.) and if you're here for Gareth/Steve/other guys content and you don't want to be tagged in my Eddie things let me know, pls?

@allelitesmut i love you sm, your tags always make my day and it means the world to me that you like reading the stuff I post. <3

@caravelofthesun

@chaoticcancer

@dylanwritesgood

@eddiemunsonspantschain - babe ily sm and I don't know what I'd dI o without knowing you, you're awesome. hope you're having a great day, feel free to ignore.

@eddiemuns0nl0ver

@just-a-blue-nerd

@music4life42

@tbmunson bestie.. babe.. babesss. i love you so much and idk what i'd do if i'd never met you, you are amazing and you always inspire me.

@slyisbehindyou

other links

masterlist ● eddie's masterlist ● about + rules

"Hey guys, give me a second." you stop outside the record store and turn to look back at Barb and Robin. They share a look and burst out laughing. You pout, flip them off and wander into the store. Eddie is rearranging a clearance bin with his headphones in, as you approach him you can hear Metallica playing faintly.

You tap his shoulder and he jumps, whirling around with a glare in doe eyes that seems to soften as soon as he realizes it's you. He chuckles, eyes roaming slowly as he takes in the heels, the stockings, the way your skirt fits just a little too well… all of it.

"Hot date, right?" He's only half teasing, trying to fight off a surge of jealousy at the thought. You laugh and shrug. "Job interview count, Eddie?"

"Another one? Jesus H.Christ, woman, do you ever sleep?" he's laughing but he's looking at you in concern. You shrug. "It's a legal secretary gig.. for Albright? Here in town?"

Eddie chuckles. "Figured you'd go back to Boston."

"There's nothing there for me. I uh..got homesick." you admit and he'll die before admitting it but he's glad you're not leaving, even if he never acts on the way he feels because he knows it'll never happen.

"According t' my mom this one is gonna pay. Like.. big time. Yeah, Albright got several big cases back to back and she's swamped with paperwork but she has zero time." You give an evil laugh, "means I get to do a lot of organization."

Eddie snorts because he can't help it, the fact that you're giddy about organizing a ton of files which is completely his opposite, should be more than enough further proof that you and him won't ever work.

He pouts a little. "Aw, this mean I won't see you at my gigs?"

"No? Why would I stop coming? Angel really needs the help." You're laughing and stepping closer, Eddie steps closer to you too, a hand just barely grazes your hip and you can feel the way your breath catches over just a simple accidental touch. "Besides," you add, tilting your head slightly to look up at him, " Maybe I enjoy the scenery."

Eddie rubs his chin. A smile that spreads lazily across his lips and draws your gaze down to them. "The scenery, huh?"

"Mhm." you've got a hand against the front of his Hellfire shirt and the scent of him surrounds you, it taunts you and ultimately, before you can stop yourself, you've stepped closer. Much closer.

Robin is laughing and Barb is tapping her wrist. You use your grip on the front of his shirt to pull yourself up closer and you give his hair a little fluff. And you're biting your lip again and he fixated, breath hanging in his throat. You laugh softly as soon as you remember the envelope your little brother Will gave to you to give to him and you find it, pressing it into his hand.

"What's this?"

"All I know is that Will wanted me to give it to you."

"Ooh. It looks fancy."

You laugh softly, hand catching in wild and thick locks, "My little brother doesn't do anything half-assed." and after a few seconds, you pout. "I need to get going. I'll see you tonight?"

Eddie chuckles as he smiles and nods. "You know where I'll be."

As you walk out, Eddie has to lean against a wall and take several deep breaths to pull himself together. And he fans himself, chuckling quietly. "Go get 'em, sweetheart."

Nearby, Gareth Emerson bursts into laughter. "Holy shit.. is this Eddie Munson speechless for once?"

Eddie flips him off as his cheeks darken. "Shut up, Emerson."

"Not gonna happen. I still say you're wrong this time and she wants you. The tension just now, dude" he fans himself and laughs again, "enough to smother anyone else present."

"Look.. I'm not saying I don't want her. I am saying she's 'grown', Emerson. She's got her shit together. In what world is a girl like that ever gonna settle or be happy with a guy like me, huh?"

"Ya never know, Munson."

–

The heels are killing your feet. You're excited because you just landed the job and while it isn't being a lawyer, it is still adjacent to the field you chose so long ago.

You're still on the high from it when you happen to catch sight of Eddie's new motorcycle parked outside of the laundromat across the street. Your mom realizes you haven't heard a thing she's asked so she follows your gaze and smiles to herself as soon as she picks up on the way your eyes linger and roam over the tall boy.

"Airhead!"

"___, are you okay?"

You zone back in right around the time your brother Jonathan throws a piece of French fry at your nose. And naturally, he's teasing you, he's quick to tell your mom that things between you and Eddie are "intense", to quote him directly.

"Are not!"

"I dunno, it looks pretty intense to me." your mom is teasing you and you pout. "I like him. He seems sweet, I mean from what I've seen when I see him around town."

You laugh softly and nod, agreeing. "He's different than the other jerks."

"She admitted it!" Will and Jane laugh when they say it the whole time.

Once they're gone to the arcade to meet their friends and Jonathan's left to meet Nance, this leaves you alone with your mom.

"Hey mom?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Like.. do you think it's possible to look at a person and just know theyre.. nevermind. This is crazy. Insane."

"No, tell me. I'm your mom. You can talk to me about anything."

"Do you think it's possible that you can look at a person and you know you're going to love them?"

"Yeah. I did.. with Hopper. And I almost let my own fear mess it up, more than once.. don't make my mistake, sweetie."

"I'm scared."

"Yeah, I know that feeling. Just go with it..whatever it is you're feeling, I mean."

You nod. Laugh softly. "Easier said than done."

Your mom laughs and nods. "I know what you mean."

–

There are even more people at the show tonight and Eddie is thrilled. He's also nervous as hell.

You make your way into the bar and as you're hopping over to hurry and start mixing drinks, you lock eyes. You give him a thumbs up and he gives you that lopsided charmers grin.

"I see what you mean, Gareth. Dude goes silent when she's around." Jeff chuckles as he says it and Eddie grumbles, flipping his friend the bird. "Fucking do not!"

"You do!"

"Do not!"

As the band begins to warm up, you smile to yourself. "Amazing as always, handsome." you mumble to yourself as you wipe down the bar.

And unbeknownst to you, Wayne happens to be sitting a few seats away. Close enough that he's heard you. He chuckles to himself.

Both of you are so clueless it's not funny.

–

The show has just ended. Eddie is loading his setup into the back of Jeff's dad's truck when Wayne surprises him by wandering out into the back.

"Hell of a show tonight, kid."

Eddie laughs. "You saw it?"

Wayne shrugs. "Sometimes I come to watch." and he drags a hand over his head, smirks at his nephew, "I wasn't the only one watching."

"Oh you weren't, huh?"

Wayne catches sight of you walking out with some of the other girls, you're sandwiched between the two girls laughing and talking. Wayne catches sight of the way Eddie is staring and he speaks up. "She was watching too, kid."

"Yeah, she kinda had to. She tends bar,man."

"She clocked out at 10, kid. Angel only needs her from 7 t' 9."

Eddie gapes. Then he laughs. "She probably stayed to talk to the other girls."

Wayne shrugs. "I dunno about that kid."

"Trust me. That's all it is, it has t'be."

You've spotted Eddie in the alley out back of the bar. You tell Tanya and Sheila goodbye and you turn back, slipping up behind him. "Boo." You're laughing as he turns around, a mocked 'scared' look on his face as you shrug.

"Always trying to scare me, woman." Eddie shakes his head. You laugh softly. Step up into him and toy with the front of his denim vest as you stare up at him. His eyes catch on the purple streak of hair and before he can stop himself, he's reached out for it, passing it through his fingers as he chuckles quietly. "Whens that..uh, the secretary gig start?"

"Tomorrow. I'm kinda torn between nervous and excited."

And he doesn't say it but he's excited too. Because until today, he'd been assuming you were only back for the summer. That when fall came around, you'd be leaving for Boston again. Now that he knows you're not, if he were more optimistic, he'd make a move.

He's tempted to go for it, the only thing that stops him is you're not the kind of girl who is just gonna settle for him, you've got all this stuff ahead of you and he knows this and refuses to get in the way of it.

He's excited also because he can look at you and tell that this job is something you really want.

And he's happy for you. Proud of you because you seem fearless and nothing seems to stop you from going after what you want. If he didn't love that about you it might actually make him a little jealous.

"Don't overdo it, alright? Even Supergirl needs rest, doll."

"I'll keep that in mind, Eddie. I'll see you later. I need to get home. You were amazing up there tonight, as always." you give his hair one last little fluff until the next time you see him and reluctantly, you step away, walking over to your moms car.

Your mom is right.. and it's getting to a point where you can't fight the direction you're being pulled. The problem is…what should your next move be?

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie the banished #eddie munson x byers!fem reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #<- my writing ● eddie munson #<-warning | idiots in love / heavy flirting and PDA ● mentions of alcohol/w**d/smoking ● see above.#<- warning | female character ● byers sibling ● female parts / clothing / hair + personality and nicknames / petnames #fandom ( stranger things ) ● season ( post 4.. au with no sci fi ) ● character ( eddie munson )#-- the next part is gonna have a lot of barb/robin interaction plus eddie/reader. i just wanted to get this out because the idea was cute.

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l4verq · 3 years

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fight back | b.b

bucky barnes x enhanced!reader

in which bucky won’t lay a hand on you no matter what :(

tags : a little brawl, fluff cause icanthelpmyself, mentions of blood, john walker (idk if we're supposed to like him now ??) bucky is a cat lady okk

fic : one shot

a/n : inspired by that scene in the final ep of tfatws when karli is screaming at sam to fight back lol😳

|| gif by @unearthlydust ||

one world, one people.

you repeat it in your head one more time, when he comes into view, vibranium gleaming onyx with loops of gold.

you know that he knows you’re here, back to the wall a few feet away, peeking at him.

he doesn’t know that you let him know.

doesn’t know that you laid out a trap and just like the foolish mouse, he walked right into the lion’s den.

although you’re not sure who the fool actually is, when you meet his eyes, knees almost buckling at the sight just cause of how long it’s been without them.

“y/n.” he breathes out, almost in disbelief.

it’s been fourteen months since he woke up to an empty bed and a handwritten goodbye letter folded in a clean white envelope, tucked under a pillow still marked by the soft indentation of your head.

fourteen months since you took off in the dead of night, pulling your- his hood over your head, the cold wind nipping at your skin, almost like it was punishing you.

maybe, it saw what you did.

oh, but fred definitely saw what you did, that damn cat always followed you two around even though it’s owner was the blonde next door. her name wasn’t even fred, bucky came up with it after the third time it snuck into the apartment.

he swore he hated it but always seemed to have a treat lying around in case it did come.

and it did, a lot. neglected by it’s owner, it chose to seek comfort in the couple next door, and sometimes a meal or two.

“sorry, no treat today bub.”

fred scowled - honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if an actual human was living in it - mewling as it came up to you for the usual chin rubs and cooes.

you sighed, caving into it’s antics, squatting to pet it.

cradling it’s head into your palm, she was purring, a very uncommon sight. fred doesn’t purr, she scratches and hisses at anything and everything that moves.

“you’re particularly nice today.” you commented, getting up. it mewled even louder this time but you turned on your heels and headed for the stairs.

you were already late.

your legs picked up pace quickly, easily crossing multiple blocks over in a few long strides owing to the blue serum coursing through your veins.

though your mind remained stationary, fixated on a single face, how it’d crumble at the sight of the letter, how he’d probably end up hating you.

“took you long enough.”

her auburn locks were tied into a loose braid that curved around her neck, the tip sat just below her collarbone, a piss poor job held together by a thin maroon colored band.

it was quintessentially her, the lack of utter patience to spend two minutes looping three knots of hair one over the other.

you jogged over to the other side of the black suv, noticing a stark white rectangle where a liscence plate should be.

“he’s knocked out cold,” you asked as soon as you grabbed the door handle open, “how?”

lazropthalein.

it came in the mail in a brown package, no return address. bucky wasn’t home, he had a scheduled therapy session down the block.

just a pinch is enough.

the text from the unknown number read.

it had no odour, a clean, white colour to it that blended in seamlessly with the flour.

“you baked without me?” bucky gasped, dramatically, hand covering his gaping mouth. his other hand carried two plastic bags, filled to the brim, a purple razor was poking out the top.

he even had to drop the poor bags on the floor, just to emphasize the utter shock he felt.

“i got bored.” you giggled, wiping the countertop with a wet cloth, remnants of flour on the sleek marble turning goopy under it.

“traitor.”

“it’s just cupcakes.”

“still a cake.”

you sighed, “you’re a five year old.”

he huffed, trudging towards the living room, shoulders hunched to really hone in on just how devastating this was for him.

“don’t i get a hug?” you held your arms out, making grabby hands, following him.

apparently, the devastation was to the point where he had to bring out the big guns, the sad baby blues.

the act lasted for another minute? at best. hours later, he was happily munching away.

“i know why it tastes so good.” he moaned, smacking his lips.

your smile faltered a little, did he kn- no, there’s no way he could have known. you burned that little plastic bag as soon as you dumped a pinch in.

“yea?”

he grinned, popping the last bit left in “it was made with your love.”

“how did it work?” your voice rose several octaves higher, amplified further by the cool, silent night.

drugs and sedatives don’t work on supersoldiers yet a certain blue eyed one was back home, unmoving even if you screamed right into his ears.

“dr wilfred, he invented it. the power broker wanted something to balance out our,” she flared her hands at both of you, “super-soldierness, so that we don’t have an upper hand when all’s said and done.”

would the either of you even be alive when all was said and done?

“look, i know you didn’t want to do this but james, he won’t understand. he’s not one o-..”

“yea, can we jus- let’s just get out of here.” you get in beside her, whipping the seatbelt over your torso.

the car was stuffy, felt like a choke around your neck that only seemed to tighten more and more.

“if we go now, there’s no coming back.” she glances at you, hand curled over the gearstick ready to position it in place.

she was giving you an out, one last chance. karli was a lot of things and having a heart inside that cold, bitchy exterior was one.

“i know.”

you sunk deeper into your seat, the hoodie had a faint smell of burnt toast and that cologne which was on sale, almost half off if you cut out the taxes.

it smelled like him, too much like him.

until it didn’t after a few days. but you still slept with it, just outright refusing to wash it despite karli’s snarky remarks about hygiene.

hygiene could go fuck herself, for all you know.

compared to the motels and basements you guys shifted around in, that hoodie was a doctor’s scrubs.

when the moon hung low on the black sky, you tried not to think about him too much. the silence didn’t help, you needed something to drown out your thoughts. that’s when the ‘socialising’ with the other flag smashers started. they were nice.

nice cause you were the leader’s little sister. but also a huge fucking liability because of a certain supersoldier hot on their heels in search of you, ruining every goddamn plan so their niceness was.. limited.

karli was a natural when it came to it, all of it. the talking, rallying of supporters - fuck, she just had a way with words. she could make you believe she hung up the stars in the sky.

probably how she convinced you that holding a room chock full of council members hostage right smack in the middle of nyc was a good idea.

the only idea, more precisely.

you guys had the upper hand, more than a handful supersoldiers at your disposal, capable of taking down the entire military force if you so pleased.

the only playing card they had was one supersoldier, who was better off distracted, kept off the field.

so who better to send to do the deed than the love of his life.

“fred had a baby. multiple babies, spawn of the devil if you ask me. always running around, thrashing the place up.” he takes small steps towards you, slow and calculated, as if a lion stalking around a prey.

“you shouldn’t be here.” you lie through your teeth, a tiny white compared to the ones that’ve rolled off your tongue before.

“i think the neighbours call me a cat lady now,�� his eyes shift around and he leans in to whisper, “they haven’t even seen my knitting skills yet.”

“stop.” you think you said it or much rather whispered it, your voice was failing you. he’s getting close, too close for your liking so why aren’t you backing away from him?

“fred misses you, you know. she wonders where you went.” he smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

the hairs on your neck shoot up, a slight twitch of your brow. the way bucky’s ear perk up, you realise it’s not just you and him here anymore.

someone else has arrived.

“i’ve got it handled, john.” bucky turns around, plants him directly infront of you, blocking john’s view of you.

sure enough, it’s john limping in, a nasty gash across his chest.

your blood runs cold because this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

john isn’t supposed to be here, he’s supposed to be fighting.. oh god. you notice the various splatters of blood on his cowl, on his boot, on his shield.

it’s too much blood from a guy who’s barely bleeding.

“really? i was thinking you should do more than just talk.” he spits on the ground and wipes his mouth.

you notice, the spit’s all blood too.

“i’m giving you a chance to walk away, right now.”

john snorts, leaning sideways to get a view of you, neck craned out.

“and leave this prize all to yourself?” he grins, “i’d be an idiot.”

“you have a death wish then.” you lift your chin a little higher, praying your quickening heartbeat doesn’t give away your calm exterior.

john whistles, grimacing as he straightens, “so, she does talk.”

you scowl, crossing your arms.

he’s in bad shape. he has no chance, not that he ever did even in his best shape. he knows that too yet he’s still here. that sends a chill up your spine.

“go, i got this.” bucky tips his head, glancing at you.

“i don’t need you to save me.” you hiss at him, which comes out a little harsher than you intended. an apology dies in your throat as he flinches just the slightest.

“trouble in paradise?” john’s barely finished saying it before he’s reached behind his back and swinging the vibranium

you hear it before you see it stopped mid air by a gloved hand. then you charge.

it’s all a hazy mix of blue and red until your fist connects with his jaw, sound of something breaking ringing in your ear.

something pulls your waist back, a grip far too strong to be just flesh.

“go, i’ll ta-..” bucky’s barely said anything before an upward cut from john connects to his neck, violent coughs ensuing.

you grip john’s arm before he’s even retracted it back, jump up his back, settling around his neck and twist until you hear a crack and a bloodcurling scream following suit.

he whips his head back right into your stomach, seizes that moment when the wind knocks out of you to pull you by your hair off him.

“i told you to go.” bucky growls, kicking john right in the shin that makes him kneel and you almost fall off but you keep your fingers tightly looped around john’s hair, pulling as hard you can.

but he’s relentless.

your head hits something hard and you realise you’re on the ground now, legs loosely around john’s shoulders, him also on the ground.

it’s like the both of you realise at the same time but you’re quicker. your legs tighten around his neck, against the spot where a thick neck muscle throbs. he claws desperately around, straining for oxygen

soon, his hands lull down, the dull thud on the ground confirming his unconsciousness.

“are you hurt?” bucky’s hovering over you, seemingly unfazed by john’s neck in a chokehold by your legs right now.

you reject his hand he extends and push yourself off the gravelly concrete on to your feet.

“this was a mistake.” you trail off, saying it more to your own self.

you weren’t the lion, you were the stupid fox who thought it was.

stupid enough to believe you were over bucky and that everything wouldn’t come rushing back as soon as you laid eyes on him.

he whips you around by your hand and before you know it, he’s already caught your other fist heading for his sternum. you barely feel the grip, it’s soft, just so incredibly soft and fits so right.

you hate it.

rage bubbles inside you, mostly at yourself. partly at him because he’s not screaming at you or slamming you against the wall or jus- anything.

you wrench your hand away, land a swing which he does nothing to block. his grip on your other hand loosens and he still does nothing when another hit to the jaw leaves him staggering,

instead, he looks at you softly as if resigning himself to your anger, to let it simmer off.

“fight back!” you scream, outstretched palms pushing him back.

he stumbles a few steps back, hands reaching out to yours resting on his chest, fingers intertwining yours tightly.

“stop.” it’s a soft plead, tears spiking the corners of his eyes.

“hit me!” you’re practically begging at this point, thrashing your arms around.

his hands grapple at your shoulders, bringing you to his chest, “it’s okay.”

he smells so sweet, just so sweet that you almost believe him.

“i drugged you and i left you and i-,” you inhale sharply, “i killed so many people, bucky.”

the last fourteen months had escalated quickly from doing what’s right to doing what’s needed, lines blurred between moral ethics and survival.

“it’s okay.” he repeats, hand patting your hair, gentle and soothing. your body betrays you, sinking into his touch, his warmth.

“you should hate me.” you whimper.

you wouldn’t blame him if he did. you doubt he could hate you more than you already did yourself.

he pulls back, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “i couldn’t if i tried.”

god, why does he have to be so.. bucky?

frustated, you spit out, “this? this was a distraction to separate you and sam.”

you don’t say it but it’s understood, understood that you wouldn’t have met him if not for it.

the inner corners of his brows angle up slightly, a ghost of a smile on his lips, “i know.”

your breath hitches, if he knows then wh-

“then, why..?”

you finally look up at him, vision blurry because of the stupid tears pooling at your eyes.

his thumb wipes away a tear dribbling down your cheek, the coldness of the metal a clear contrast to the warm moisture, “you know why.”

a/n : this one’s been sitting pretty, collecting cobwebs in my drafts so thought i’d take it out lol, also haven’t been posting fics in a whileeee cause im dumb and i’ve been working on multiple things all at once lol yea this is me rambling and also i just wanna say that i. love. folklore. sm. that whole album has me crying and sad and just :((

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky fic #james bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #fatws bucky #fatws #flag smashers #marvel #mcu

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drabbles-mc · 3 years

Text

Reverence

Juice Ortiz x F!Reader

Request by Anon: How about a Juice x female reader where she wears short sleeves for the first time round the clubhouse, and the boys get a glimpse of the scars of her arms, from where she used to do silly things to deal with her shit, but after a chat with Chibs she just gives up trying to hide it, and it breaks Juice's heart because he's liked her for so long, and a bit of angsty fluff happens, before it turns to smut with some vague body worship. Idk. Feeling shit about mine atm - glad it's behind me

Warnings: smoking/alcohol, mentions of scars & self injury, unprotected sex

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: As someone else who has also put this chapter of my life behind me, I’m really glad that you trusted me with this request! Hopefully I did it justice. It’s a little soft, a little sad, but it was really cathartic to write. Hope you enjoy. xo

SOA Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @adela-topaz-caelon @mijop @chibsytelford @xladymacbethx @i-just-read-stuff (If you want to be tagged just let me know!)

Join my group-chat here: (X)

You knocked lightly on the door to Chibs’ dorm, dreading the conversation that you were about to get yourself into with him. He called for you to come in, and taking one last deep breath you did. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, glasses low on his nose as he ran his hands back through his hair. He glanced up at you and smiled despite the exhaustion written all over his face.

“Y/N,” he waved for you to come closer, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

You chuckled, biting back your nerves as you kept your arms crossed and pressed tight against your chest, “I, um, I was just wondering if you had a sweatshirt I could borrow? Half-sack spilled beer on mine. I feel naked in just a tank top.”

He nodded as he stood up and walked over to the little pocket of wall space that passed for his closet. He leafed through a few hangers before pulling a black hoodie for you, “Whatever you need, love.”

An audible sigh of relief escaped you as you stepped closer to take it from him, “Thank you. I owe you, seriously.”

He chuckled at how grateful you seemed for the small gesture, “It’s really no—” he paused mid-sentence as he watched you reach forward to take the piece of clothing from his hands.

You looked at him, and followed where his eyes were looking. Your heart dropped into your stomach as you watched him scan your arms. There was a reason you always had on a hoodie, or flannel, or sleeves of any kind despite the fact that you lived so close to the California coast. There was also a reason that Chibs was the person that you went to, to ask for a spare shirt to wear. However, as you watched the concern begin to pool in his eyes, you worried that you might’ve made a mistake.

“You can keep the sweatshirt,” he reached forward and rested his hand on your shoulder, “But I’ll be the first to tell ye, forever is a long time to try and hide. A long time to be ashamed.”

You felt tears stinging at the edges of your eyes and you tried desperately to force them back into hiding. You reached up, quickly brushing them away. You’d never spoken to any of the guys about that part of your past. It was behind you, but the slightly discolored scars etched into your arms felt like a constant reminder that you would never be able to fully outrun it. You didn’t want them to see that part of you, you didn’t even want to see it in yourself.

“C’mere,” Chibs pulled you into a full hug and you let yourself melt into his chest. He rested the side of his head against yours as he ran his hand up and down your back, “If there’s anyplace that you should feel comfortable in yer own skin, it’s here,” his voice was gentler than you’d ever heard before, “Ev’ryone’s got scars, love. People like you ‘n me jus’ wear ‘em on the outside instead.”

Your body was trembling as you fought the urge to break down completely. Tears fell from your eyes onto the smooth leather of his kutte. You couldn’t force yourself to pull away and look at him, “I don’t want them to see me differently. I don’t want them thinking about that part of me—I don’t want me thinking about that part of me.”

Chibs stepped back from you so that he could get a better look at your face. He thumbed a stray tear off your cheek and gave you a sincere smile, “C’mon now. There’s nothing but love for you here,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I’m not tryin’ to tell you what to do. ‘S your life, your body. But I’m thinkin’ it might be time ta forgive yerself a bit.”

You took a deep breath as you ran your hands over your face, wiping away the remnants of your tears, “Thank you, Chibs.”

He smiled, nodding, “You know I love you, darlin’.”

After that, he excused himself and walked out of the room. You were thankful for the moment of privacy to weigh out everything that he had just said. He always spoke with so much certainty, but this was the first time that certainty had been blanketed over with so much softness. You wished that you could completely buy into everything that he had just said, but you still found yourself pulling the sweatshirt down over your head.

When you walked back out into the expanse of the clubhouse, you looked around to see who else was there. It was starting to get a little later, and more people were starting to flood in. Pretty much everyone in the MC was there, as well as the usual crowd of friends and girls from CaraCara.

You locked eyes with Chibs, who was sitting on the couch with Bobby and Jax. You were afraid to meet his gaze, afraid of what you might see when you did. Part of you was expecting him to look upset, or disappointed, but his expression didn’t falter at all. He gave you a slight nod and a small smile as he went back to the conversation that he was in.

Once you were back behind the bar with the prospect, you felt your nerves begin to subside a little. Staying busy and keeping your mind occupied was key. The two of you were cracking open a record number of beer bottles as the night continued to get busier, but you didn’t mind it. Truthfully, you thrived off the controlled chaos of the clubhouse.

You’d just brought in a few more cases of beer from the back storage room. Taking a moment to catch your breath, you lifted the bottom hem of your sweatshirt to wipe away a few beads of sweat that were beginning to trickle down your forehead. You weren’t expecting Chibs’ sweatshirt to be so heavy and well-insulated, but you felt like you were on the brink of overheating.

For a moment you pulled at the sleeves before mumbling a quiet, “Fuck this,” to yourself before pulling the top off over your head. You tied it around your waist and went back to work, feeling like a huge weight had been taken off of your shoulders. Breathing felt a little easier, and you knew it wasn’t just because you weren’t sweating anymore.

As the night wore on, a few of the guys had come up to get drinks from you. They’d be in the middle of telling a dumb joke or talking shit about something else happening in the clubhouse when you’d hand them their drink. They would see the lines that went across the insides of your arms. Some of them would pause when they clocked it, others would just look back up at your eyes and continue whatever it was that they had been telling you. No comments, good, bad, or otherwise, were made, and you were so relieved. Chibs was right, and perhaps you should’ve known better from the get-go, but better late than never.

You were just about to tell Half Sack that you were going to step outside to grab a smoke when Juice popped up on the other side of the bar. He had the same silly, childish grin on his face that he always had when he came over to talk to you. You chuckled as you leaned forward onto the bar.

“What can I get you, Juan Carlos?”

His smile grew, making his eyes crinkle at the edges, “Just another beer, please.”

You threw him a wink, “You got it.”

You grabbed a bottle for him, easily popping the top off on the edge of the bar before handing it over to him. You were just about to start up the flirty banter that always went back and forth between you two when you saw the smile drop from his face. Everyone else had moved so quickly past the scars on your arms that you’d almost forgotten about the fact that they’d never seen them before. Perhaps you should’ve known that it would be different with Juice. His eyes traveled up your arms and shoulders until they reached your face. When his eyes met yours, you could see that the light was slipping out of them. The hustle and bustle of the clubhouse began to fade away as you looked at him.

“You okay?” you asked.

“I, uh,” he stammered slightly, “Yea. I’m…I’m good.”

You knew that it was going to be on his mind all night, and he wouldn’t be able to think about anything else until you two talked about it. You offered up a smile, “I was just about to step out and grab a smoke. Keep me company?”

He nodded, practically jumping out of his seat at the opportunity, “Of course.”

You chuckled as you turned back to Half Sack, “You’re in charge for a little bit, prospect. Don’t let the place burn down.”

Once you came out from your side of the bar you lightly took Juice’s hand in your own and tugged him towards the door. You were trying not to think about the mounting concern in his eyes as you pushed your way out into the night air. It was still warm out despite the fact that the sun was long gone. There was the slightest hint of a breeze and you reveled in the way it felt as it coursed over your arms.

You sat down on top of the picnic table, feet resting atop the bench. You glanced over at Juice and motioned for him to join you. Once he did, you reached over into the pocket of his kutte and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

He managed a smile, “Didn’t realize you invited me because that’s where you were going to get your smoke from.”

You chuckled as you pulled out your lighter, “Least I brought my own light.

You tilted the pack towards him and he took one with a laugh and a shake of his head, “Something not quite right about you offering me a smoke from my own pack like this.”

You laughed as you set it down next to you, “My pack now.”

He let you light his cigarette for him. You rested the side of your leg against his as you both stared towards the street, soaking up how quiet your little town was outside the fences of the compound.

“You wanna talk about it?” you finally broke the silence.

“About what?” he feigned ignorance, but not well.

“About that sad look in your eyes.”

He pressed his lips together for a moment, and you could tell that he felt bad that he wore his thoughts and emotions so clearly on his face. It was part of what you liked most about him, though—you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head, “I didn’t mean to make it weird. I just…I didn’t know.”

Your laugh had a touch of hollowness to it, “That was on purpose.”

“What changed?”

You shrugged, “How long can you hide so much of yourself? There comes a point where it’s just…not worth it.”

“I’m,” he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, “I’m so sorry.”

You looked over at him and shook your head, “Don’t be. It was a long time ago. I’m a different person now.”

“No, I mean,” he paused as he tried to get his words in order, “I’m sorry you felt like you had to hide it. No one should have to feel that way, especially not you.”

You took a drag from your cigarette, letting out a long, slow stream of smoke, “You have nothing that you need to apologize for. What I did, what I do, none of that is on you.”

For a few minutes neither of you said anything more. You could see it on Juice’s face that he had a million thoughts going through his head. If anyone knew the weight of the kind of hurt that drove you to do things like hurting yourself, it was Juice. He never said anything in particular, but you knew that despite the energy he had and the brightness of his smile, he was a man who knew how much hurt a person could carry in silence.

“You know what my first thought was when you started working here?” he finally spoke up, his voice a little lighter.

“What’s that?” you smiled over at him as you flicked the last of your cigarette away.

“I thought that it was only going to take about a week for someone as gorgeous as you to get sick of all of us here and quit,” he laughed for a moment before shaking his head, “And my second thought was how much I was going to miss looking at you from the other side of the bar.”

You laughed, unable to lie to yourself about the warmth rising in your face, “You get in over your head fast, huh?”

“One of my best and worst qualities,” he snubbed out his cigarette and turned to look at you, “I’m really glad you stuck around.”

“Me too,” you nodded, twisting your hands in your lap.

“I know it’s too little too late, but,” he nervously tapped his fingers against his knee, “you know I’m always here for you, right? If you ever wanna talk. I’m…I’m never too busy for you.”

You rested your hand on top of his to try and calm his nerves, “I appreciate that.”

His mind slowed down as the warmth from your hand bled over into his. He let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He slowly took his hand out form underneath yours and slid it up your arm, the pads of his fingers ghosting over the ridges and divots that remained despite years passing. His hand traced over your shoulder and up your neck until it came to rest on the side of your face. Your heart was pounding inside your chest but the rest of you felt perfectly calm.

“You’re so beautiful,” his voice came out as a whisper.

You let out a quiet laugh, “You don’t have t—”

“I mean it,” he still spoke softly, but his thumb tracing lightly along the side of your face gave you pause, “You’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. And I’m…I’m so glad that you’re not hiding yourself anymore.”

You felt a lump forming in the back of your throat at the sincerity of his words. Taking a shaky breath as you fought the tears that were beginning to form in your eyes, you rested your hand over his. You shut your eyes for a moment before opening them to look directly into his.

“Kiss me,” you let the words slip out.

His eyes went wide for a moment but he didn’t hesitate. He leaned in and caught your lips in a kiss. His touch was gentle as he brought his other hand up to cup both sides of your face. You leaned into him, arms wrapping around his torso as you tried to pull him closer to you. You could feel his lips curling into a smile as he kissed you.

He pulled away and you were caught off-guard at the sudden loss of contact. You were about to ask him if you had pushed it too far when he hopped off the picnic table and scooped you up right after. You laughed as he draped you bridal style over his arms and made his way down the side of the clubhouse. For a minute you both felt like a couple of teenagers as he snuck in through the side door and went straight back to his dorm.

He laid you down on the bed and you both instantly kicked off your shoes. You couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face as he climbed on top of you. He straddled your hips before leaning down to press his lips back to yours. Your hands made their way to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you. You let your nails rake lightly down the back of his head as his tongue ran along the inside of your bottom lip.

He quickly untied the hoodie around your waist before his hands slid up underneath the thin fabric of your tank top, and despite the fact that his body was giving off so much heat, you found yourself getting goosebumps. You lifted your shoulders from the mattress, allowing him to pull your shirt off over your head. He tossed it to the side and you couldn’t help the giggle that came out of you as he did. There was a noticeable softness in his eyes as he looked down at you.

Unable to stop yourself, you reached and tugged at the hem of his shirt, making him smile as he shed it and tossed it aside with your own. You propped yourself up and lightly traced your fingers down the side of his face. He caught your hand with his own and pressed his lips against your palm. He kissed your knuckles before letting his lips slide down to your wrist. A jolt of fear went down your spine as your body tensed up. His eyes found their way to yours and he paused, trying to glean from your expression whether he should stop or keep pressing onward.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded for him to continue. His lips curled slightly into a smile before he pressed them back against your wrist. “There isn’t a single part of you that I won’t love,” the words fell from his lips so easily.

You felt yourself getting choked up and you couldn’t say anything in response. He dropped kisses all along the inside of your wrist and forearm, leaning closer and closer to you as he did. Each touch was caring, delicate, like he was trying to softly wash away years of bad memories. He let his fingers trail up your arm as his lips found their way to your neck and eventually back to your lips.

Every last bit of self control had left your body. You felt little tears stinging at your eyes as you realized that no one had ever taken their time with you like this before. You cupped his face in an attempt to keep his lips latched onto yours. After a few moments, though, he pulled away again. He took your other hand in his and started the whole process over again, just as slow and meticulous as he had been for your other arm.

When he was done, he laid kisses across your collarbone and chest, lips slowly starting to wander down your stomach. Without missing a beat he undid the button and zipper on your jeans. He repositioned himself for a moment so he could slide them off your legs. He kissed your hips, fingers treading lightly over the thin fabric of your underwear. His hands ran over your thighs, and he couldn’t help but to notice the scars there too—fewer and less severe, but still faint lines crossed over parts of the skin there. His lips painted over those as well.

His hands and lips covered every available piece of your skin, explored every reachable curve. And it was the most comfortable you’d ever felt with someone, despite the intensive intimacy of it all. He made his way back up to you, hand caressing the side of your face. You couldn’t do anything but smile and press your lips against his.

As your lips moved so perfectly together, you found your hands straying towards his belt. He smiled into your kiss as he quickly undid it, kicking off his pants right after. The warmth from his legs seeped into yours as he positioned himself between them. You felt his fingers maneuver around the waistband of your underwear before they traced along your skin, causing you to shiver and moan.

His lips latched onto your neck and you felt your back arch into his touch. He pressed a soft kiss just below your ear before asking, “Can I keep showing you how much I want you?”

Your breath caught in your throat as you listened to the quiet reverence and desperation in his voice, but you managed to make yourself say yes. Within moments both your underwear and his found homes on the floor. He caught your lips with his as he slid into you, swallowing your soft moans.

His movements were slow, like he was trying to memorize every detail of what it was like to be with you like that. His hands roamed over your entire body as he thrust into you, desperate to be as close to you as he could possibly manage. Your nails raked lightly down his back and you felt him shiver at the touch.

Time faded away as the two of you remained laid up in his bed, bodies as tangled as the could manage to be. He lifted your legs and wrapped them around his waist. His name fell from your lips repeatedly as his pace increased. The tension building in your body was almost too much to bear, your nails sinking into his shoulders as you fought to keep the slightest bit of composure.

He nipped lightly at your neck, “Let go for me,” it was a soft and almost pleading four words and you couldn’t help but to do as he asked, letting go and allowing your body a true flood of ecstasy. He wasn’t far behind you, soon carefully collapsing onto your chest.

Your nails absentmindedly trailed up and down his neck as you both laid and tried to catch your breath. He pressed featherlight kisses along your chest and collarbone, earning a smile out of you.

“You’re incredible,” he gazed up at you as he said it.

You chuckled, massaging small circles into his shoulders, “I think you’re pretty incredible too.”

Comfortable silence enveloped the two of you. Juice pressed his head to your chest, reveling in the steadiness of your heartbeat as his fingers danced along your arms and sides. The pads of his fingers leaving warmth in their wake.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” you asked, although you were fairly sure of the answer.

He lifted his head and looked up at you with a smile, “You can stay with me whenever you want.”

He shifted off of you and pulled you to him. The two of you were facing each other, foreheads pressed against one another’s. His breathing slowed and you took comfort in the feeling of his chest rising and falling as it was pressed against yours. As the two of you settled underneath the covers you couldn’t help but to feel as though the four walls of that little room had witnessed the start of a whole new chapter for both of you.

#soa #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #juice ortiz #juice ortiz x reader #juice ortiz x you #juice ortiz imagine #juan carlos #juan carlos ortiz #my writing #sons of anarchy fanfiction #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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ovvnwords · 3 years

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WANTED CONNECTIONS .... hi here is a list of connections i would really really want for my gremlins. inspo from all places ; music, movies, pins, etc. i’ll post this in the server / put it linked in my pinned post but for best results send me a dm on d/scord bc i suck at things! thank.

AVIVA ROUX . podcaster / content creator ( meg t. stallion ) !

GIRL GANG ! not necessarily ‘girls’ but yk what i mean. very close knit, always hanging out, never one w/o the other, etc. i like the idea of them all bein’ kind of different ---- breakfast club style? ( aviva cld be the *jughead vc* i’m a weirdo for example ). idk i think it’d be neat n interesting cld even have group chat edits n things on the dash frankly i wld just like for her to have some friends! inspo ( one , two ) .

PODCAST PARTNER ! the shane to her ryan, so to speak. the show talks about mysteries and internet oddities and different spooky things ( they borderline on true crime, but they don’t necessarily go into detail about cases if that makes sense ) . i think the dynamic of a outrageous thinker to her pessimistic ideals. inspo ( one , two , three , this tag ) .

YOUNGER SIBLING ! i like to imagine they’re pretty close, maybe close in age? i don’t rlly have much to say about this one, should probably put it on the main, but i love sibling connects so !

HATEHSHIP ! someone she jus can’t stand yet can’t stay away from. maybe they’re an asshole but damn cute, or another reason. inspo ( one ) .

ROOMMATES ! like to imagine it’s a bunch of them living friends-style, either in the same apartment or even building ( or wld that be jersey shore style. idk ) but it cld be fun especially if they don’t get along all that well but the rent is nice and they make it work.

FIRST CRUSH ! eeeeeeeeeeeee they cld’ve met when they were children and had one of those one day long things in elementary school where they broke up bc they didn’t share crayons or something JSDVKJDFVKJV they could’ve remained friends, been neighbors, had crushes or a fling in high school .

EX SQUAD ! i like the idea of aviva having a solid friend group in high school that all aren’t good terms with each other for whatever reason .. don’t have to figure it out asap i just love the tension thts all.

BEST FRIEND / RIDE OR DIE ! someone who has her back and vice versa. supports each other thru thick and thin, gives each other the whack on the head they need every once in a while. inspo ( one, two ) .

FLING / FWB / HOOK UPS ! kind of self explanatory. aviva doesn’t really have a preference, if she’s attracted to u she’s attracted to you, has her fun but s*x isn’t really her idea of a fun thing to do 24 / 7 . like to imagine she mostly goes for women ( hey ladies .... ) !

EX PARTNER ! i like the idea of them being super cute n lovey dovey in hs but then maybe one of them went off to college? they had a falling out? ended on not so great terms? the possibilities are endless to be frank!

RIVAL / ENEMY / SOMEONE SHE JUST CAN’T STAND ! ig this could be more chemsitry based but they just avidly dislike each other for one reason or another? can’t stand each other? petty tweets / subtweets etc etc . could be fun n juicy.

FRIENDS ! self explanatory.

DAWSON ELLIS . unemployed / formal journalist ( chris pine ) !

FRIENDS ! self explanatory. he’s 40, so rlly he just kinda vibing.

RIVALS / ENEMIES ! i like the idea of just hating each other since high school and just have this burning hatred for each other even after all this time … chuckles. inspo ( one ) .

PEOPLE HE TAKES UNDER HIS WING ! idk what this could entail maybe he jus likes one of u youngins … doesn’t want to see u in the same path he went down, tries to steer u straight a little bit. stuff like that. very dad like as if he has a maternal bone in his body.

EX FIANCE ! heheh .. i plan on making this a wc possibly, but i like the idea of someone who he dated for a long period of time after he graduated and left irving, eventually who he proposed two. maybe his addiction could have caused a strain, maybe it was because he was traveling so much, or some other reason but then they broke it off. they came back to irving for one reason or another, he came back bc he’s sober now, there’s tension. kind of based on exile by taylor swift + bon iver .

EMPLOYER ! this man needs a job. so ........ hands on hips who is hiring.

FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL ! if anyone grew up in irving / or was in hs around the time he was, it could be quite fun to reconnect. old friends yadda yadda yadda.

SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HIM ONLY FROM HIS SISTER ! smiles at jean so wide ..... yes dawson is leonora’s annoying lil brother. he’s very elusive ( or so he thinks … ) so . we cld do something with that perhaps.

ELIJAH PALERMO . little league coach / student ( lukas gage ) !

THE LAST PALERMO SIBLING ! yes … this is on the main but i imagine elijah and them to be very close and it’d be fun! sorry for the grey hairs though.

BEST FRIEND ! this is someone elijah trusts more than jus abt anybody .. including his siblings maybe. they’re always together, never apart, besties forever. causing chaos and mayhem. probably co-parent georgia. knows each others fast food orders, encouraging their bad behaviors …

EXES ! i like to imagine elijah is the type to rush into a relationship then have it all turn to shit. could be on good terms, bad term, neutral.

EX FRIENDS ! along the same vein, maybe they had a falling out? one of them just didn’t want to be friends anymore? they just stopped talking? give me angst thank u.

FRIENDS ! hes so talkative and annoying please give him more friends … my personal favorites are old couple bickering / complete opposites / good or bad influences / new age “thembo summit” where there’s no got damn thought in anyones head just vibes.

FLIRTATIONSHIP ! they flirt … they give each other eyes. and yet? nothing. wtf.

HOOK UPS / FWBS ! they’re hot. and he has eyes. it’s basic math.

RIVAL / ENEMY ! i like to imagine elijah didn’t mean to be rude / or did something bad to this person but he did, even accidentally, but now they hate him. or even mutual hatred <3 constant subtweets n petty comments in public …

PARTY BUDDIES ! theyre always together at parties … self explanatory.

PARENT OF KIDS HE COACHES ! self-explanatory.

CLASSMATES ! must go to community college, but otherwise self-explanatory.

WILL THEY / WON’T THEY ! i love this kinda shit .. theyre constantly acting like a couple but also aren’t one. everyone is dying to know like …... so isn’t eli <3

HATEHSHIP ! they hate each other . but also f*ck. then hate each other again.

ROOMMATES ! pls give him a roommate this fucker can’t function by himself.

KALANI MADDEN . student ( auli’i cravalho ) !

PEOPLE SHE TEACHES ASL ! this is my favorite. pls pls pls. she uses asl as her primary source of communication, she’s most comfortable with it due to her hearing, but many people don’t know it so pls let her teach ur muse i’d love it so much.

FRIENDS / BEST FRIENDS ! i’d love to have a lil squad .. lil baby squad or even just a best friend who they’re always sharing tiktoks over videos and having sleepovers and going to wendys at 1 am bc they’re bored.

RIVALS / ENEMIES ! people who just don’t fuckin like her bc she’s annoying like i understand.

PEOPLE WHO DON’T TAKE HER SHIT / HATE HER DRAMATICS ! pls hate her. punt her to the moon.

PEOPLE SHE SPOILS WITH HER PARENTS MONEY ! pls let her sugar mama u. she will buy u legit anything if ur nice to her.

FLIRTATIONSHIP ! this wld be a bit cute .. almost a will they won’t they vibe. they flirt. they smile. they make googley eyes. they subtweet each other. it’s messy and cute.

BAD INFLUENCES / GOOD INFLUENCES ! people who lead her either down a really good or really bad path.

PEOPLE SHE KNOWS BC OF HER BROTHER ! self-explanatory but also kind of need him for this so . hehe .

HER BROTHER ! on the main, but pls bring this kid her parent ( almost ) .

PEOPLE SHE KNEW BACK IN NYC ! self-explanatory. her family is very wealthy, famous in the social scene.

#ooc.#wipes sweat.

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porkchop-ao3 · 5 years

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A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 30)

On The Move Again...

Idk what to say about this chapter other than a little bit of fluff? A little bit of angst? A little bit of pissed off reader? Just.. mucho dialogue, as per usual with my stuff lmao.

Just wanna let y’all know that I go back to uni tomorrow (I start back really late, I’ve realised) and I’m going into my final year, so I will likely be busy. BUT, I hope to keep posting enough that you wont notice much of a difference, but yeah. If updates become a little less frequent, it’s not cause I’m getting bored of writing this :) side note... I’m so fucking ready to be done with university!

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

Arthur woke me up gently, dusting kisses over my face and petting my hair, whispering my name and rocking me in his arms to rouse me as delicately as birdsong. For about thirty blissful seconds I completely forgot about our circumstances, so enamoured with the feeling of waking up with him. This was something I had only done a handful of times but if this was every morning I would be a very happy woman.

"Good morning, angel. I'm sorry to wake you, but I gotta get up," he whispered to me, his hand still smoothing over the back of my head.

"I don't mind waking up if this is the first thing I see," I murmured sleepily, making him laugh.

"I gotta say, it was real nice for me too," he said, kissing my forehead once before wrapping his arms around me and rolling us over until he was above me, though dangerously close to the edge. He slammed a hand on the table next to us before we ended up on the floor together and we laughed as he shuffled us back into the middle of the bed.

"I don't want us to get up," I sighed.

"Me neither, but we gotta figure out what's happening with Jack," he said, and it all came tumbling back to me.

"Oh God, yeah, you know I was almost at peace for a second," I grunted, dropping my head back against the bed and trailing my hands up Arthur's sides.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, nestling his face against my neck and inhaling deeply. "I can hear Dutch out there. I ought to go out and talk with 'em, hopefully he's figured something out."

"Alright," I whispered, patting his back a couple of times before releasing him.

With a groan Arthur pushed himself up and off of me, sitting down on the edge of the bed and stretching, rolling his neck and grunting as his joints popped. His jaw stretched open with a yawn, one which I caught and mimicked shortly after. I shifted to join him sitting up, and after taking a moment to straighten out our clothes and tidy our hair, we rose to our feet and emerged from the tent. It struck me how shameless we seemed to suddenly be about what was going on between the two of us. It had gone unspoken, but I believed both of us had frankly stopped caring about who knew and who didn't.

Regardless, nobody noticed us leaving the tent together, too preoccupied to care, thankfully. Dutch, Hosea and John were sat around the table talking; Arthur joined them and I pottered off, leaving the men to it and instead heading to grab my morning coffee. I caught sight of Abigail sitting on the ground on her bedroll with her knees hugged into her chest, eyes distant. I opted not to disturb her, taking a seat with Tilly and Mary-Beth in front of their wagon.

"Morning, girls. How're you two holding up?" I greeted them. Tilly was washing a chemise while Mary-Beth was distractedly stitching a white garment that I quickly noticed was dappled with a few specks of blood. Before any of them could even answer I spoke again.

"Mary-Beth, you're bleeding!" I pointed out, reaching out and taking her hand in mine.

"Oh! Oh shoot, what a mess. I pricked myself earlier on, didn't realise I'd drawn blood," she plopped her finger in her mouth and sucked on the injured digit. I put my coffee down and took the garment from her; it was a stocking with a tear in it.

"I'll finish this, don't worry. There ain't too much blood on it, no harm done. 'sides your finger."

"I'm away with the fairies this morning," she shook her head at herself.

"Ain't we all. How're you, Tilly?" I asked.

"About as well as you'd expect. The other day I couldn't stop thinkin' about how bored I was, now I'd happily take boredom over all this mess," Tilly sighed, sitting back on her heels and shaking her hands free of water.

"I'm confident the men'll get Jack back," I assured them both.

"Me too, it's just all the worrying until then. Has Arthur said anything to you about where he is?" Tilly asked me and looked up at her, momentarily – and frankly unjustifiably – surprised that she'd asked me about Arthur.

"Oh, no, he hasn't," I said after a pause.

"How is he doing, anyway? He's been awfully quiet lately," Mary-Beth began, "not that he ain't usually quiet, but you know what I mean."

"Arthur? He…" I paused, looking down at my sewing. "I reckon his injury knocked it out of him for a bit, he didn't much like being cooped up. Then of course, first thing he does after getting back out there is watch Sean– it's understandable. I jus' think he's going through it a bit."

"Well I hope he knows he can come talk to any of us if he needs it. Though, I suppose he has you for that, now," Mary-Beth commented. I looked at her, a light frown on my face.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, we ain't idiots," Tilly laughed "it's extremely obvious that you and him are somethin' more than friends."

"No, that ain't what I meant. You don't think I'm… stealing him, hogging him away from all of you, do you?"

The two girls looked at me, two sets of eyes going wide for a few long seconds before they both laughed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," Mary-Beth patted my knee, "I just meant he has you to open up to now, I ain't surprised if he don't talk to us about that stuff all that much anymore. I don't mind it, it makes sense."

"Before you came along, if Arthur was going through a rough patch, he'd come speak to one of us women. That ain't happened in a while so we figured he was talking to you instead, is that not the case?" Tilly added, picking the chemise out of the bucket and squeezing the water out.

"Oh, no, he does," I nodded, thinking back to the previous night, all his talk of getting out of here, no matter how idealised the thoughts were. Mary-Beth leaned forwards a bit, inspecting my expression.

"Everything okay between you two?" She asked.

"Between us, yes, everything is wonderful," I told her, a small sigh escaping me. "I just wish everything else was the same. I don't like seeing him worried. I'm worried too, but I know it ain't a scratch on how he must be feeling."

"Well, I'm just glad he has you. That man deserves a bit of love, that's for sure," Mary-Beth said, "after Mary, and everything that's happened to him."

"Mary-Beth," Tilly said, her tone a warning.

"What?"

"You don't bring up a man's past relationships to his new lady," she chuckled, shaking her head. I smiled in amusement.

"It's alright. I know about Mary, even met her once. Well, not really met, saw her from a distance."

"Really? Oh, well I admit I was a little worried when I heard she was around. She practically carved the poor feller's heart out and spat on it. He was real excited when she agreed to marry him, I don't know how she could do that to him," Mary-Beth sighed.

My heart thumped uncomfortably and I stared blankly at her. She noticed my silence and looked at me, the colour draining from her face soon after.

"They were engaged?" I asked, my voice small.

"Oh, Mary-Beth," Tilly said tightly, shaking her head.

"I thought you knew," Mary-Beth covered her mouth. "Oh, goodness. I'm a fool."

"No, no it's fine. I've no right to be upset," I shook my head, snapping myself out of it. "I guess it just surprised me, I didn't know it'd gone that far."

I understood better why Arthur had been so deeply hurt by her. Why he'd held onto her for years, why he'd kept her photo, why he'd acknowledged her letter and gone to meet her despite the pain he knew it'd cause him. She was the woman he'd loved so much he'd wanted to share the rest of his life with her.

"No, you're upset. Oh gosh, forget this I'll do it later," Mary-Beth snatched the sewing from me and tossed it aside, clasping my hands in hers. "This was years ago, he's clearly moved on and he has you, he's completely taken by you, it's so easy to see."

"I don't need reassurance, like I said, I have no right to be upset over something that happened before he even knew me. He has his own life, how awful would I be to turn sour over him living his own life?" I forced a laugh, shaking my head.

It was true, I had no reason to be upset. And I wasn't upset, not with Arthur, he'd done nothing wrong. But I did feel something cold and sickly and gross in my tummy and it was startlingly close to inadequacy.

"Mary-Beth is right, he's crazy about you. I watched him drawing you the other day when you weren't looking. Never seen the man look so peaceful," Tilly added, moving closer to join us. She put a hand on my shoulder as she sat beside me.

"You did?" I sputtered, eyes going wide and my face going hot.

"Yeah. You were brushing your horse and he was at that table over there just watching you, sketching away in that journal of his. I'd love to see what's inside that thing," Tilly giggled.

"I bet it's real romantic," Mary-Beth remarked, her voice low and tender.

"It never occurred to me that he might write about me in there," I thought aloud.

"You should sneak a peek while he's sleeping," Tilly whispered and I flashed her a disapproving frown.

"Oh, I couldn't. That'd be a violation of his privacy," I said.

"I guess," Tilly sighed glumly. "You should at least ask him."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I reckon I might prefer the mystery."

"Might be full of things he's too scared to say, could show a soft, vulnerable, tender side to him that his tough, manly lifestyle forces him to hide," Mary-Beth stared off into the distance, her expression nothing short of dreamy.

"Good lord, Mary-Beth. You really have to stop reading those novels," Tilly laughed and Mary-Beth playfully swatted her arm. I couldn't help but smile, eyes wandering over to Arthur across the camp. That smile quickly faded though, when I noticed Lenny approaching the group with two men I did not recognise.

"Hey, Dutch! We got a problem," he called out, pointing his gun at the back of the men, keeping a close eye on them as they walked towards Dutch.

The men were well dressed in suits and ties and bowler hats, the second of the men had a gun slung over his shoulder. Something told me they weren't friends of the Van Der Linde gang. I stayed put as the men exchanged a few words.

"Crap, that's the Pinkertons, I reckon," Mary-Beth hissed under her breath when she noticed. The gang slowly surrounded the group, forming a crowd that couldn't not be at least a little intimidating. I rose to my feet, crossing the camp towards them to listen in on what was happening, aware of the fact that Tilly and Mary-Beth were hanging back.

"I don't know if you're aware but this is a civilised land, now. We didn't kill all those savages to allow the likes of you to act like human dignity and basic decency was outmoded or not yet invented. This thing, it's done," the first gentleman was announcing when I got close enough to hear. The atmosphere was so dark and thick, it was like I could taste it or smell it, it was foul like the contents of a spittoon.

"This place ain't no such thing as civilised. It's man so in love with greed he has forgotten himself and found only appetites," Dutch responded, his words so well articulated, spoken almost like poetry right from a book.

"And as a consequence, that lets you take what you please, kill whom you please and hang the rest of us? Who made you the Messiah to these lost souls you've led so horribly astray?" The agent questioned, eyes scanning the crowd around him. His eyes found me. "Oh, and who is this? You must be new, haven't heard anything about you."

Dutch and Arthur looked my way, Dutch's expression stony and serious, Arthur's immediately turning to painful worry.

"Leave her–" Arthur started, abruptly cut off by Dutch.

"You'd single out a lady whom to your knowledge has done nothing wrong? That doesn't make you a man any more than threatening the likes of me does," he said. Hosea, who happened to be closest to me, pushed me behind him and obscured their view of me.

"Whether or not any of you lowlifes consider me a man is of no importance to me. I am here to offer you all a deal. You, Dutch, come with me and I'll give the rest of you three days to run off, disappear and go live like human beings someplace else," he bargained, and I stared at the back of Dutch's head, my heart in my throat as I awaited his response.

Dutch chuckled.

"You came for me? Risked life and limb in this den of lowlifes and murderers so that they might live and love? Ain't that fine?"

"I don't wanna kill all these folk Dutch. Just you," the agent stared at Dutch with such disdain I could practically feel the second hand effects of it, creeping hotly up my arms like vines.

"In that case, it'd be my honour to join you," Dutch's words were low, pleasant, "excuse me friends, I have an appointment to keep, with…"

The metallic clicks sounding out across the crowd rose hairs on my neck, weapons being readied, the threat loud and clear.

"I think your new friend should leave now, Dutch," Miss Grimshaw warned. It was clear that nobody here was prepared to let the men take Dutch away. And Dutch… he was well aware of this.

"You're making a big mistake, all of you," the Pinkerton glowered, unsettled and frustrated, losing his grip on the situation he was so evidently being overpowered in.

"Yeah, dreadful. We have got something. Something to live and die for, how awful for us. Mr? Milton, stop following us, we'll be gone soon," more cool, velvety words from Dutch.

"I'm afraid I can't, and when I return I'll be with fifty men. All of you will die. Run away from this place you fools. Run!"

"Come on," Lenny grabbed his arm, got him moving only to be shaken off.

"Get your damn hands off of me, boy," and with that, the gentleman returned from the direction they came. As they disappeared through the trees, the air seemed to clear just a bit. It left behind an unpleasant sludge but at least I felt I could breathe.

The crowd dispersed as Dutch turned to Arthur, the men spoke quietly and I backed away, shaken by the experience. I knew that the Van Der Linde gang were wanted, chased by a dozen different groups of enemies, but actually seeing the evidence standing in the middle of the place we were all meant to feel the safest was difficult to wrap my head around.

I found myself with Javier again, I'd sought him out when Dutch made the announcement that we were moving again, so I could help to take some tents down like last time. We worked together well enough. We were taking down Arthur's first, deconstructing the canvas and posts, loading everything up on the ammunition wagon it all attached to. I was tasked with carefully unpinning his photographs from the side of it so that they wouldn't be lost in transit. Javier and I weren't as talkative this time around, but his choice to start this particular conversation vexed me.

"This piss you off?" He asked, holding up the photograph of Mary. I frowned at him.

"No," I simply said.

"Alright," he said innocently. "I just thought, since you and him…" he trailed off.

"Whatever he and I are, he's allowed to keep a photo of a person he once held dear," I said, packing away the keepsakes in Arthur's chest. I took the photo from Javier and it joined the rest.

"So, are you guys serious?" He asked. When I didn't answer him, he walked around to stand in front of me, folding up Arthur's bedding. "Micah's been sayin' some stuff."

"Micah," I repeated, looking up at Javier. "Micah doesn't know anything about Arthur and I so take it with a pinch of salt."

"No, not about Arthur, 'bout you and him, at the Parlour House," he told me.

I stared for a moment, mind failing to conjure up a response.

He smirked, though he seemed surprised. "So something did happen?"

"What's he been saying?"

"Nothing, really. It's all vague suggestion, was saying it 'round the fire the other night when you were in here with Arthur," he explained. "I know you and Micah have had some tension, with that kiss that day."

"What the fuck did he say?" I reiterated, getting irritated.

"Said stuff like you and him make a good team, the usual crap. But then he talked about you two going out drinking at the Parlour House, you two had fun together, got along real well. Said it with this smirk on his face," Javier told me, wearing a salacious smirk of his own. "Didn't make it hard to read between the lines."

"Right, so basically, he's tryin'a start a rumour about me and him? What, that we kissed? Slept together?" I scoffed, and Javier shrugged. "Well, here's a rumour, spread it all you like. That bristly faced creep asked me to sleep with him at the Parlour House that night, an' he's clearly feeling hard done by considering I rejected him. And don't worry, Arthur already knows about the whole damn embarrassment and I talked him down from beating him, but I'm sure he'd reconsider if I jus' said the word."

With every word I stepped closer to Javier, poison in my tone that wasn't really directed at him. The corner of his mouth curled up and he leaned away, holding his hands up in surrender. When I was finished, he let loose a chuckle.

"Alright, I got you, loud and clear."

"I've been trying my damnedest to find the best in him, I know there's some decency in the man, but, by God. He's making it real difficult for me not to join the rest of 'em in hating the bastard," I huffed, feeling my face flush with embarrassment mixed with anger.

"Ay, it's okay. I never really believed him. Don't think anyone else did, either, we all saw how you were when Arthur got fucked up by the O'Driscolls," he reassured me, putting a hand on my shoulder and gingerly pushing me backwards, out of his personal space.

"Yeah well, even so, I don't take kindly to someone making me out to be somethin' I ain't. Say if someone did believe him, then watched me hanging around in Arthur's tent all these weeks, they'd think I was a real piece of work," I muttered, snatching the pillow from Arthur's bed and putting it in the wagon, then moving to roll up the thin padding that served as a mattress.

Javier laughed. "I think you're overestimating people's ability to give a damn. Even if it was true; you wanna get it on with half the gang, that's up to you. Wouldn't be the first girl," he snickered.

I cocked a brow at him.

"Could'a been any one of us in John's position," he shrugged. My head whipped around towards where Abigail was, helping pack with Sadie and Karen.

"Oh, I ain't gossiping. Stop it," I muttered, shaking my head.

"Alright, muñequita," he chuckled, "no more gossip."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"What does what mean?"

"Mune– mune– that word you said," I shook my head, the unfamiliar word dissolving in my mind before I could repeat it.

"Muñequita?" He smirked at me, looking a little surprised that I'd asked. A little embarrassed, even. "Oh, nothing. It's a… just a name. A term of endearment."

"Oh, alright. It's a pretty word," I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at him.

"Means little doll. People don't tend to ask me what I'm saying, so I'm a little caught off guard," he laughed, shaking his head and turning away from me to lift up the bed frame. "The name seemed to suit you. Those jobs you do, putting on all these roles, playing pretend. Like a little kid's doll."

He leaned the bed up against the wagon and turned to me, appraising my reaction.

"Well, playing pretend…" I started, pursing my lips in thought. "I guess I can pretend it ain't me robbing people blind. It's Jemima Jones."

Javier laughed through his nose, tilting his head down.

"Jemima Jones. She's a clever girl, but don't let her take all the credit–"

"I'm glad you two are gettin' along so nicely but if you remember, we all have the threat of death hangin' over us until we get packed up and gone. Get moving!" Miss Grimshaw hissed as she marched passed us.

Javier and I shared a glance before getting back to work.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #fanfiction #arthur morgan x female reader #atink #reader insert #rdr2 fanfic #Javier Escuella #mary beth gaskill #tilly jackson #van der linde gang

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xuteline-blog · 4 years

Text

I want you to love me now

read on ao3!

Word Count: 3,489

Pairing: Seonghwa/Hongjoong

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Feelings Realization, Past Relationship(s), Getting Back Together, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Chatting & Messaging, seonghwa jus wants to be held..., and thats exactly what hongjoong will do!!, Kissing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Not Beta Read

Description:

Seonghwa didn't know who he had expected to be there at Yunho's movie night marathon. All he was told by Yeosang was that he had invited a couple friends over. He had never thought he'd find himself reunited with the very person that taught him what love really was, and to have a chance at it again.

Seonghwa knew what love was. He knew about it before he was even in preschool.

His mother and father, holding hands as they stared into each other's eyes, whispering confessions before giving a peck on the lips to eachother, waving goodbye as one of them left.

His mother and fathers thumbs caressing eachothers hands, sitting on the couch as his fathers arms enveloped his mothers frame, both content, both warm.

His mother and father, in love.

He saw it every day. He knew what love was.

He was told in class once that being in love would be when hes most happiest. He was told in class once that being in love was what everyone wanted. He was told in class once that being in love felt like you were a firework, about to be ignited, and when you saw the person you loved, you would light up, and felt like as if your body was on fire.

He was told about it every day. He knew what love was.

It wasn't until Seonghwa reached his senior years in high school that he contemplated love. Looking back, he had never really felt what people told him love felt like. He had had his fair shares of relationships, and by the way he felt absolutely downtrodden after his breakup with a guy in his class two years ago, he really had thought he had been in love. But maybe... it was just infatuation? Maybe an oblivious case of puppy love.

He remembered the day clearly.

It was stormy, the rain pouring down as Seonghwa looked out the window of the library. He had came here to study, as his last exam was coming up and he couldnt afford to fail. His scholarship depended on it.

He sat alone at a table, the librarian allowing him to keep his hot chocolate as his books and papers laid in front of him, his small makeshift study desk unorganised and messy.

He watched as the rain droplets danced around each other, how they stepped close before stepping back before colliding together, catching eachother and finishing their dance at the bottom of the window pane.

What a weird metaphor, he thought. Rain droplets, two lovers dancing around each other and away, too scared to cross paths before giving their all to their other.

He had never felt such a way.

A hand slammed on his desk, tearing him away from his thoughts. He looked up at the culprit, his wide eyes furrowing as he took in who had scared him.

"Hongjoong," He stopped twirling his pen between his fingers, holding it steady as its tip nearly touched paper. "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to check on you!" Hongjoong smiled, and Seonghwa felt warmth blossom in his chest at the confession. Hongjoong grabbed a chair from the table infront of Seonghwa, turning it to sit at Seonghwas desk. "You've been hauling yourself up here a lot lately, I was worried if you were doing good," Seonghwa fought a smile as the shorter boy sat down, leaning onto Seonghwas table.

"I have been doing fine, just studying," Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows at the statement.

"But exams have finished?"

"Not this last one, its an exam to confirm whether or not I will be going to my desired University,"

"Oh? But i thought the scholarship covered that?"

"No, it was like a golden ticket. All expenses paid and a course set for me as long as I ace this exam,"

"What happens if you dont pass?"

"They take my scholarship and give it to someone else. They also refer me to other universities and colleges that would suit me if I so ask them too," Hongjoong looked down at the desk, eyes examining the strewn papers as he pouted. Seonghwa could fight the smile that ordained his face.

"Whens the exam?" Seonghwa grabbed one of his textbooks and his writing book, copying a few things down.

"On Friday," Hongjoongs eyes widened, his mouth agape.

"Thats only two days away! You better be studying!"

"You said you came up here because of how ive been," Seonghwa put down his pen, raising his hands to make air quotes. "'Hauling myself up here'"

Hongjoong banged the table, causing a semi loud bang to exho through the library. The librarian looked aorund the corner, pinpointing Hongjoong with her glare and shushing him. Hongjoongs cherks turned red as embarrassment took over him.

"I-I know i said that! I just— didn't you just have your last school exam yesterday, then? Have you been studying for this exam while stuudying for the schools ones, or just started now?" Seonghwa wtched as Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, a pout making its way back onto his face.

"I had been studying for this since Saturday, ap you do not need to worry. In fact, i think this may be my last long study session for a while. I'm pretty confident of where i stand right now," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, a small smile forming.

"Thats nice to hear. Does that mean you could probably hang out with us tomorrow? We all miss you..." Hongjoong trailed off, having grabbed Seonghwas pen and spinning it on the table. Seonghwa felt more warmth course through his body at the statement. He missed them too.

"I will, do not fret. I've just been—"

"—We know you've been busy! You don't need to say it, we all have been busy!," Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong, the sudden outburst unexpected. "But... That was a yes?" Hongjoong sat up straighter, his eyes wide and sparkling. How cute.

...Cute?

"Yes, I will be there Joongie, don't worry," Hongjoong jumped up, startling Seonghwa. He grabbed Seonghwas hands and held the tight, smiling brightly.

"After school, meet up at the front gates, do not be a single minute late!" And as quickly as Hongjoong had showed up, he ran off, barreling through the library doors with a bang, the librarian looking at Seonghwa with a frown while the boy stared at his hands, caught off guard by what Hongjoong had done.

He traced his left hand with his right, and his right with his left, eyes wide as he felt the tingles in his hands slowly dissipate. He felt somewhat... giddy. A rush from when Hongjoong had touched him. Seonghwa felt heat rise on his cheeks.

And while his body was still riding the high of the moment, from when Hongjoong held his hands, to his bright smiles directed at him, he couldn't help but think 'Oh no'.

***************************

It was a stormy day, and Seonghwa was stuck in his dorm. His roommate had left earlier, telling Seonghwa that he was visiting his parents for the week. So here Seonghwa was, alone in his dorm, a storm playing out right in front of him, and his hands curled around a cup full of hot chocolate as he lived carelessly for the week off. What more could he ask for?

He sipped his hot beverage, humming in content as he swirled the hot chocolate in his mouth, savouring the taste.

As he reminisced in the moment, his phone chimed. Seonghwa turned his head towards his phone, glancing at the notification on the lock screen. He leant over, grabbing the phone and unlocking it. He clicked on the notification, which was a message, and read it.

hehet

would u be free rn?

Seonghwa stared at the message eyebrows furrowed before sighing and putting his hot chocolate down.

pluto

yes I would, why?

also, why pluto

hehet

cuz u aint real 😍😍😌

pluto

what

pluto is real sangie

its just not a planet

sangie.

hehet

omfg stop bullying me

hehet changed pluto's name to bully!

bully

youre insufferable

hehet

u love it

ok anyway what i actually came here for

so ur actually free to do anythin today??

bully

yes sangie, im free today

why, did something happen? do you need me to come over and hang out?

hehet

no no, dw

just needed to make sure so everything goes according to plan

ok so anyway

come meet us at yunhos dorm, were havin a mini movie party n meeting some of his friends!!

bully

oh?

what kind of movies? and what kind of friends?

hehet

idk but not horror thats all i know!! i remember yunho sayin he wanted to watch some disney or nostalgic films so theres that

also !! do not worry abt the friends!!

they r super kind n funny, youll love em :]

bully

youve already met them? thats kind rude :/

hehet

it was by accident :[[

i went over to yunhos to give him back a hoodie he left at our last study sess @ my dorm n i met em!!

it was only for a minute, i was rushin since i was late to class

bully

hmm... ok, ill accept it

what time will it be then?

hehet

at 4 and if yunhos roomate does end up coming home early from his mini trip, itll end at 10, but if not, we can stay the night

bully

not to be rude, but i really hope his roommate does not come back to the dorms until later tomorrow

hehet

same

knowing us, we'd just pass out on the couch anywaybully

ok u guys will, im responsible

hehet

sounds pretty fake ngl :///

bully

ok then, i shall go back to what i was doing before you messaged me

hehet

wait seonghwa i wanna keep talkin im bored :[[

seonghwa??

seongie??

ddeonghwa????

: [

***************************

It was an hour before Seonghwa had to leave. He had just gotten out of the shower, mostly wiped down, but his hair was still dripping.

He shook his head, feeling his hair stick to his face and water droplets fly everywhere. He brought up the towel to his head and vigorously dried his hair.

After drying himself down, he got dressed. Nothing extravagant or formal, but something comfortabe and simple. It was practically a sleep over he was invited to, after all.

It was now 15 minutes till Seonghwa would have to be at Yunho's. He know walking to Yunho's dorm would take at least 10 minutes, since it was not on the other side of campus, but a far bit away.

Seonghwa went through his mental checklist. Phone, check. Charger, check. Earphones, check. Small over the shoulder bag full of snacks, a pair of spare clothes, and an apparent rose flavoured lip balm, check.

At the thought of the lip balm, he licked his lips. His lips had been dry during the week from the cold weather, so he took up Yeosangs advice on picking up one or two lip balms. Of course, he bought the only ones that were supposedly to be what a flower would taste like. He picked up the lip balm, applying it to his lips and smacking them together before putting it back.

He checked the time.

12 minutes left.

He grabbed all his things, his keys jingling in his hands and a dmall umbrella in his pockets. He opened his dorm door, exiting and locking the door before finally leaving the dorm building. He grabbed his umbrella, opening it up once he stepped foot outside, wlaking along the footpath, frowning when he noticed the mud making its way across the path.

He sighed as the rain started to pour harder, his grip tightening on his umbrella.

He did not want to walk back to his dorm through this weather.

***************************

He made it to Yunho's dorm a bit later than he had expected. His shoes were caked in mud, and no, he did not slip in mud, he just wanted to be like Peppa Pig for a fleeting moment.

He knocked on Yunho's door, wiping his shoes off at the mat and taking them off. He shook his umbrella, the water flying everywhere. Maybe he should ahve done that outside, but it was too late now.

The door opened, revealing Yeosang who just pouted.

"You're late," Seonghwa pushed past Yeosang, dropping his umbrella near the door and placing his shoes near the rest. There's definitely a few new pairs there, either Yunho got more shoes, or his friends are already here.

"You try walking here in this weather," A few laughs were heard in the distance. Yep, definitely here.

Yeosang shook his head, closing and locking the door. He turned to Seonghwa, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards lounge.

"So, what's happened so far?"

"Nothing much! Just been playing some switch waiting for you," Yeosang stopped as they made it to the lounge. "Look who's here!" Seonghwa looked at the three men that were on the couch, all three watching the TV as they battled in MarioKart.

"Is it Seonghwa?" Yunho asked before he crossed the finish line, jumping up and laughing.

"I win!" The man sat on the right of Yunho crossed the line next, pointing to the man that sat on the left of Yunho, laughing.

"And you're last!" The man on the left sighed, corssing the line.

"Wow, that was so fun," Yunho laughed, the man that came second now standing up and turning around. Huh, almost as tall as Yunho.

"Let me introduce them to you, Hwa?" The man on the left, stood up, but still didnt turn around. Quite short, thats cute.

"This," Yunho gestured towards the taller man out of the two newcomers. "Is Mingi," The man now identified as Mingi waved his hand, a smile plastered on his face.

"And this," Yunho reached over to the smaller man, grabbibg his shoulder and forcefully turning him around. "Is—"

For a moment, the world stopped.

For a moment, their eyes met.

For a moment, they were seeing eachother again.

"—Hongjoong?" Seonghwa blurted out, cutting off Yunho. The shorter man, now known as Hongjoong, shared a similar expression to Seonghwa, yes wide and mouth agape.

Holding hands, watching as the sun set over the horizon, the light painting his face, his eyes sparkling.

"Seonghwa?" Yunho looked between the two, confusion plastered all over his face.

Bright smiles, warm laughs. Soft lips, peppered kisses.

"You two knew eachother?" Seonghwa nodded, at a loss for words as he stared at the boy infront of him.

"Thats so cool! It's like it's fate for you two to meet again," Yunho exclaimed. "But come on, we gotta get ready for our movie marathon, its half hour past the time we were supise to start!"

***************************

It was around midnight that Seonghwa finally couldnt take the awkwardness around him and Hongjoong. He got up from his spot on the floor, making his way to the kitchen and flicked on the light, going to grab a drink and a snack from his bag.

As he trifled through his bag, finding the pack of chips he craved for, he turned around and almost felt his soul leave his body.

There was Hongjoong, standing right in front of him.

He had to hold back a scream.

"Woah! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Hongjoong threw his hands up, taking a step back.

Seonghwa gained back his thoughts, the adrenaline dissipating.

"Do you need something?" He asked. He watched as Hongjoong suddenly became nervous, looking down at his feet. He has red hair... it looks... fluffy.

"I-I just... I kinda wanted to talk to you?" Seonghwa felt heat rise to his cheeks as he ran through the possibilities of just what Hongjoong would possibly say.

"About what?"

Silence overtook the two for a moment. Then Hongjoong spoke up.

"About... why you left," Seonghwa shifted his body, suddenly feeling so small. "Why you never contacted us," He felt shame slowly seep through his body. "Why you... never contacted... me," He looked down at his feet.

No one spoke for a minute, both thinking, both waiting.

"I never did get my scholarship..." Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, eyes wide.

"Wha—"

"I passed the exam for it, but by the time the people giving out the scholarship had marked it, all the scholarships had been given away,"

Seonghwa felt tears begin to pool in his eyes.

"I was so disappointed in myself, I didnt want you all to see me," He inhaled shaky breath, emotions coming back as he relived the moment in his mind. "So I just told you all that I got in and... left,"

He felt Hongjoong take his hands, caressing them softly. Like he used too.

"Why did you never talk to me after? You didnt even tell me you wanted to break up," Hongjoongs voice broke near the end. "You just went... radio silent," Seonghwa couldn't help the tear that ran down his face.

"I never wanted to break up," Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoongs hands. "I just— I wanted time, time to fix things, so i could say I was attending college, that I wasn't a fuck up..." He felt Hongjoong squeeze his hands back, he heard how the other boy sniffled. He must be crying too.

"Seonghwa, listen to me," Suddenly, Hongjoong was cupping his face, his hands so soft, and his eyes looking straight into Seonghwas soul. "You are not a fuck up, you hear me?"

"I'm sorry," His voice broke, tears now streaming down his face, one after the other. Hongjoong had tears slipping down his face himself. He lifted his thumb, wiping some tears off Seonghwas face.

"It's okay, I forgive you, HwaHwa," Seonghwa couldn't help but let a whine escape him at the nickname.

"HwaHwa! You're so cute!"

Hongjoong laughed wetly at the reaction.

"You'd think i forget what that nickname did to you," He stroked Seonghwas cheek lovingly, smiling fondly at Seonghwa, and Seonghwa couldnt help but feel his previous worries disappear just looking at him.

Seonghwa buried his face into Hongjoongs neck and threw his arms around Hongjoongs shoulders, letting another embarrassed whine escape him.

Hongjoong laughed at the action, snaking his arms around Seonghwas waist. They both stayed in that position for a few minutes, iust enjoying the company, the warmth. Enjoying eachother.

Hongjoong threw his arms over Seonghwas neck, pulling him down to give him a strong hug.

"Your hugs are the best, Joongie,"

Seonghwa felt Hongjoong shift, his hold on Seonghwa loosening. He felt a hand coursing through his hair, the action sending shivers down his spine, and a blush on his cheeks.

"I've missed this," Hongjoong whispered. Seonghwa picked his head back up, looking at Hongjoong.

"I did too," Hongjoong smiled.

Hongjoong raised his hand, putting it under Seonghwas chin and slowly pulling him down back towards him. Soon enough, their noses were touching, and they could feel eachothers breaths fan eachothers faces.

It took just a moment for Seonghwa to understand what Hongjoong wanted to do.

He looked to Hongjoongs eyes, noticing how they flickered back up to his then fown to his lips. Seonghwa did the same, his gaze lowering down to Hongjoongs own plush lips.

Seonghwa unconsciously licked his own.

"Can I..." Hongjoong trailed off, but Seonghwa knew what he was asking. He nodded his head, feeling Hongjoong pull him closer.

Then he felt Hongjoongs lips on his.

And suddenly, he felt like he was back in high school. When Hongjoong would sneak up on him in the bathrooms to give him a few wuick pecks on the lips before running away. When Hongjoonga arms would wrap around his his waist, pulling him into his lap, and even if Seonghwa was the taller one out of them, Hongjoong would always find a way to make Seonghwa feel small and safe in his arms.

He felt light again, like all his problems had been thrown away. He felt like the weight he carried had been lifted.

Seonghwa broke the kiss first, gasping for air, breathless. His lips a shade of bright pink

Hongjoong just stared at the boy, breath taken at the sight before him.

Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa back down again, both diving in for a kiss, each one more heated than the last.

Soon enough, both broke away, catching their breathe as they were pushed against eachother.

"I've wanted to do that for so long since then. I've missed it sso much," Hongjoong panted out.

"Me too," Seonghwa took a hold of Hongjoongs hands, looping his fingers between his own.

"This means that, you know," Hongjoong was anxious again, eyes flicking from Seonghwa to the floor. "That we'll do this again... right? That—"

"That we'll be back together?" Seonghwa cut in, heart beating fast at what Hongjoong was asking.

"Yes," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, still nervous on what the answer would be.

And Seonghwa couldn't have answered more perfectly.

"Of course," Seonghwa dived back in for another kiss, this one not heated, but filled with something more deeper. He broke the kiss, burying his face in Hongjoongs neck. "Of course,"

"I love you," Seonghwa felt his heart stutter.

"I love you too," Hongjoong smiled, pulling Seonghwa towards him.

"Forever," Hongjoong whispered.

"Always," Seonghwa whispered back.

#park seonghwa #kim hongjoong #ateez #kang yeosang #jung yunho #song mingi #ateez fic #idk how to tag to get this to spread around on tumblr skdkdjs #uuh grammar mistakes will be visible #ok thats all #follow me on twit @xuteline #i want moots #or jus talkin here is good :]

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our-smooty · 4 years

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Flowerbeds and Fertile Soil: Chapter 3

Fandom: Good Omens

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, )Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer

Tags: Kidfic, Mpreg kind of, they can choose to present however so idk, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Vulva (Good Omens), OCs Galor, parenting, using your snake form to avoid confrontation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pregnancy, if I missed a tag lemme know

Summary: They could do anything, go anywhere, all without the worry of Above or Bellow making a fuss. Even so, they mostly kept to their little patch of Eden, their cottage and garden and the simple life they’d carved out among the locals. Aziraphale opened a book shop in town, where he only occasionally sold any books (and the ones he did sell, were all modern and stocked specifically for that purpose). Crowley focused his attentions on the garden, and if he occasionally helped their elderly neighbour with her disobedient willow tree, then that was a secret no one needed to know. Lately, however, they had both been feeling rather restless, unbeknownst to each other. Aziraphale tried reorganizing his store, changing the way he tied his bowtie and even ate pizza –something he considered to be far too messy for him personally. Crowley had branched out into birdwatching, and then car maintenance (the human way), and even reading. Nothing scratched the itch for either of them.

Ao3 Link

My Ko-Fi

Crowley spent the two days drinking, thinking, and wallowing, in that order. First, he got rip-roaring drunk, then kept going past that into a maudlin type of drunkenness. That led to the thinking, which had been much harder than normal, but also much more honest.

The sun was just coming up over the horizon and he watched as all of London was bathed in warm light. He was scared. He could admit that to himself easily, especially when he was so drunk. What he was scared of was a little more complicated, and Crowley had been thinking on it for the better part of three hours. Because on the one hand, he was worried about Heaven and Hell and the safety of any hypothetical little ones. He really was. But on the other hand, he’d said something during their fight that he hadn’t realized he’d been worried about.

Demon spawn were A Thing, and they were generally terrible. Sometimes a demon decided to have some fun on the mortal level and demons weren’t known for being the most careful of beings. Best case scenario was something that was essentially a demon, but mortal. Worst case whatever came out was some sort of writhing mass of demonic energy and hatred. Would that happen to any of his offspring too? Or would the angelic influences cancel it out? But the Nephilim had been somewhat monstrous too, so was it a lost cause from both ends?

And that was where the thinking transitioned into wallowing. Because he was also drunk enough to admit that he really, really wanted to give in to Aziraphale’s badgering, hang the consequences. They’d at least have some time before having to face what they’d done. Who knew how long demon-angel hybrid babies took to form, or gestate or whatever (Crowley only knew as much as he did from his time working on a London pediatrics ward. He was supposed to have been sowing the seeds of evil in the new generation, but he ended up delivering and caring for more newborns than anything else).

But the guilt would be too much. He couldn’t bring a child into this world knowing it was doomed to be some sort of horror that never fit in. He’d love them, of course, whatever they were or would become but to imagine the difficulty of growing up in a world that would detest them... Well, at least Crowley had been fully formed and matured when it had happened to him.

He ran out of scotch on the balcony by noon of the first day. But he wasn’t done sulking so he moved back inside and on to the brandy. Brandy was the perfect spirit to drink while tormenting his plants, though there were only a few left in the flat. They were his favourite, and he kept them here to avoid the angel over-indulging and spoiling them.

“Yooooou lot,” he slurred, brandishing his spray bottle in one hand and the brandy in the other. “You don’t argue with me! Y-y-you’re all jus’ plants!”

A hydrangea, who had long exceeded it’s expected lifespan by several years and was one of the most verdant plants in Crowley’s collection, leaned towards him sympathetically. Most of these plants had been with him for years and had grown a kind of fondness for their tyrannical, but caring master. Crowley spared the hydrangea a glance over, inspecting it for blemishes. He found none.

“Yoooou’re not compli--complicated, you’re not good or-or-or-or evil. You’re jus’ plants!” The while lily near the door shuddered, knowing things were really bad if the demon was repeating himself. Crowley never liked to repeat himself.

“If you wanna have b-b-babies you can jus’ drop seeds!” His voice cracked at the end so he wet his parched mouth with some more brandy. “I like sssseeds, such ma-marv-maver--nice little thingss.” Four letter words, good Lord he was sloshed. Dropping the spray bottle and picking up the watering can Crowley deftly overwatered a nearby ivy. Luckily the ivy knew better than to wilt.

“Like little things, like babiesss, an’ kids. Not sooooo much t-teenagerss but they’ve got ssspirit!” All the plants were leaning in now. Some of them opened up a few extra blooms, offering comfort in the way only plants knew how. “Alwaysss thought I’d make a shit p-parent though, an’ look how Warlock turned out…”

“Could be different, though, raisin’ one and not t-trying to make it, you know, not the Antichrissst.” Indeed he hadn’t been so much raising Warlock as he had been coaching him. And if he and Aziraphale were to do it together properly this time who knows what could happen? “Still can’t though. Angel n’a demon, probably be smited for even trying. Smote? Sssmitten?”

He pondered that for a while, letting the last few glugs of water drip out of his watering can and onto the floor. It was a lost cause though because all he could think about was tiny angel babies with their soft, fluffy hair and little grabby hands. “D’you think they’d look like him? I hope they do.” Crowley was idly swaying back and forth, lost in his daydream. “Hope they have his nose an’ eyess at least, mine are terrible. But m’wings are nicer so…”

“I don’t wanna be sscared,” he said quietly to his favourite rose bush. “I want to--I want to give Azirahale what he wants. I want what he wantsss, and if I gave in we could both have it but I’m ssscared!”

The argument last night had left Crowley unable to sleep, but he was getting tired now. Maybe he should use his last day and a half--he checked his fancy watch; day and a quarter--to sleep this off. Tossing the spray bottle somewhere towards the wall--it would be back in its place the next time he went to use it--and heading towards his bedroom, Crowley realized he hadn’t yet texted Aziraphale like he’d promised. No matter, his phone was on the bedside table anyway. He could let the angel know he’d be back tomorrow, and they could make up. Nevermind how that was going to happen, since they both still had opposing views on the matter.

The first time he had come to stay at the flat after he and Aziraphale had a tiff, the angel had blown up his phone with calls and texts. Crowley had done the same the first time Aziraphale locked himself away in his study and refused to come out. They had since come to an understanding and formed a system of brief check-ins and hard time limits to ease each other's anxiety. They stuck to the rules, and it seemed to be a good way of letting off some steam and ending arguments, as long as they talked about it afterward.

This time, Crowley had been a little lax in his following of their rules. It had already been nearly an entire day of no-contact and Aziraphale had been sending worried messages for at least six hours. To his credit there were only a few voicemails, which Crowley would listen to later, and not the deluge there had been that first time. They were all standard fare, Aziraphale calling in the morning after Crowley left, then calling back around lunch. The angel was doing a good job of keeping the worry out of his voice, but Crowley could tell it was there.

Immediately Crowley sent off a text assuring Aziraphale he was fine and had lost track of time, complete with heart emojis, then fell into bed. As drunk as he was it didn’t take very long for him to drift off, even though he forgot to change into anything comfortable or get under the covers.

Crowley walked into their cottage in time for tea the next day carrying a selection of cake slices. He didn’t really have anything to apologize for, but coming back empty-handed felt wrong. Plus the cakes might distract from the hangover Crowley had. He’d meant to fix himself up before bed, but hadn’t and now his head ached too bad to focus on any demonic miracles.

“I’m home!” he called out into the foyer, toeing off his shoes and kicking them haphazardly out of the doorway. The house smelled like old books and tea, which was better than burning food. The second time Crowley had taken some time to himself Aziraphale had decided to take up baking to soothe his nerves. It hadn’t gone well. “I brought cake!”

Aziraphale came around from his study and stood in the doorway, hovering. “Welcome home dear. Did I hear you say cake?”

This was the routine when Crowley returned. Whether in the right or wrong he’d come back bearing treats and Aziraphale would flitter about like he didn’t know if he should stay or go. Eventually, they’d both sit down and talk about what happened, which had twice led to Crowley storming back out and more often led to lovely make-up sex. He wasn’t sure what to expect this time, given the thing they were arguing about. There wasn’t much to talk about, either Aziraphale dropped it, or he didn’t. Crowley didn’t want to think about what would happen if Aziraphale didn’t drop it.

“Yeah, picked some up on my way over from that little bakery where they mill their own flour. Figured it was pretentious enough that you’d like it,” Crowley teased, none too eager to get to the heart of their issues. What if he and Aziraphale couldn’t move past this? What if this was the thing that ended them, not their former sides, or the Apocolypse, or their opposing natures? Crowley wasn’t sure he could survive without the angel in his life, but he also wasn’t sure he could concede on this particular issue. He also wasn’t sure if he could stick to his guns for too much longer, given what he’d realized last night.

“Oh hush you. Take it into the kitchen I’ll be there in just a tick.” Crowley nodded and went through, surreptitiously glancing around their home. Aziraphale was prone to fussing with the layout of things when he was left to his own devices, just like he had at the bookshop. There he’d been able to justify it as a tactic to confuse customers and discourage book purchases. In the cottage, however, it was obvious he did it from anxiety. Everything looked to be in order though, so Crowley continued on and set the cakes down on the table. With a snap of his fingers, the slices were laid out on plates and the kettle was boiling for tea.

“Early Grey or Twinings?” he called over his shoulder towards where Aziraphale’s office was. He could hear the angel moving about back there and assumed he was cleaning up whatever he had been using to preoccupy himself with while Crowley was away.

“Twinings please, dearest,” Aziraphale answered, his voice muffled. Must be messing with his book storage, Crowley thought, pouring each of them a cup with shakey hands. He really wished he’d spent less time drinking and sleeping yesterday, and more time actually thinking about what he was going to say to Aziraphale. All he’d figured out was that they had to worry about a lot more than just Heaven and Hell’s reaction and that if Aziraphale kept asking, he might not be strong enough to refuse.

“Tea’s ready,” he mumbled, taking his own and perching on the edge of a dining chair. Of course, Aziraphale still heard him and walked quickly into the room looking more than a little flustered. With an excited wiggle he took a seat and began to fawn over the cakes. “Take whichever you want, I’m not hungry.”

“Are you sure dear? That dark chocolate mouse cake looks right up your ally,” Aziraphale pointed out, digging into his strawberry shortcake. He was right, Crowley had bought that slice of cake specifically for himself. It would have been not too sweet and everything he liked in a desert, but the worry about what needed to be said had ruined his appetite.

“Yeah, go ahead.” Aziraphale glanced down to his slice, then set his silverware down regretfully. “I said go ahead angel, I don’t mind.”

Aziraphale leaned forward a little, his hands disappearing under the table. Crowley knew from experience they would find their way under his thighs, crushed tight against the chair’s wood in an effort to keep them from flitting all over. Another habit from Aziraphale’s time with Heaven, where any stimming had been harshly discouraged. “No, I think we have a lot to talk about. And I want to apologize. Again.”

Crowley remained silent, knowing that Aziraphale had probably prepared what he wanted to say. As usual he was correct.

“I was wrong to keep asking you about… it when you told me not to. I was being selfish, and not thinking about how you felt and terribly rude. And then you came back after I was so horrible and you came back with cake!” Aziraphale’s voice was getting louder and more high pitched as he went. It was obvious he was getting upset with himself but Crowley knew that interrupting him right now would only make things worse. “I got excited, and then I was pushy and I hurt you, dearest. I’m so sorry. I-I know I can be a little, well, tone-deaf but you said I was making you upset so explicitly and I just ignored you! How could I do that to you? Oh Crowley I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

Aziraphale had begun rocking back and forth a tiny amount, quick little movements that he probably didn’t even notice he was making. “You’re right, of course. It’s so very dangerous, and I wasn’t thinking about it when you obviously had. I want to make it up to you, Crowley, if I even can.”

It hadn’t been what Crowley was expecting, given how persistent Aziraphale could be, and it was honestly a little disappointing. He may have been secretly hoping that the angel would be able to convince him, or had maybe thought of something Crowley had missed that would give them the go-ahead. But this was OK too, this meant they wouldn’t have to fight anymore and he wouldn’t have to keep thinking about it and they could move on.

“Oh uh, yeah. Apology accepted angel. I’m sorry I stormed out.” Crowley was always quick to forgive Aziraphale, it was like it was impossible for him to stay angry at the angel. Though the way Aziraphale’s disrespect of his boundaries still stung, Crowley didn’t want to hold a grudge and make things worse, so he wouldn’t.

“Thank you, dear.” Aziraphale stopped rocking but kept his hands firmly under his legs. Usually, this was the point where they hugged and made up, but his angel was still sitting, slightly tense. “Was your time away helpful?”

Crowley shrugged noncommittally. Aziraphale didn’t ask what he did when he was he spent time away after a fight, and he was immediately suspicious. “Sure, checked on the plants, slept for a while. The usual.” He left out the drinking. Over the last 5 years or so Aziraphale had grown concerned with the amount Crowley drank, even if he was an immortal being incapable of experiencing withdrawal. He had cut back, but times like the other night were another story.

“Good, good.” The silence was back, and heavier. “And I assume that, from this point on, you do not wish to discuss that issue again?” The tentative nature of Aziraphale’s vice made it hard to hear if he was disappointed, or just being himself. Crowley cleared his throat.

“That's probably for the best yeah.” But oh he wanted, wanted, wanted. It was killing him to deny them this thing that any old human could have easily. They could have anything else in the world, with their powers, but not this.

“Alright, you won’t hear me speak another word about it. If you ever want to--well I’ll follow you lead dearest.” And Now Aziraphale was leaning over, one of his hands taking Crowley’s and squeezing. It was extremely warm from being tucked under his legs, but the demon still felt cold. “Now, if you’d like, I think you should try that ca--”

They were interrupted by an insistent knock on the front door. It was very rare for them to have guests and even rarer that they should drop by unexpectedly. The only other time anyone arrived was for deliveries, and even those were few and far between.

“Oh, I wonder who that could be!” Aziraphale seemed all too eager to have something else to focus on, and to be honest Crowley was as well. He rose from the table, cakes and tea forgotten, and bustled to the door. Crowley stayed in the kitchen, trying to collect the unspooled pieces of himself. It was over, they had Talked, and now they could move on and everything would be just fine! Crowley repeated that over and over in his head, trying to drown out the wanting; just fine. He was so focused on not wanting that he almost missed Aziraphale’s sharp “oh dear!”. Almost, but not quite.

“Everything alright angel?” He was on his feet and sauntering into the foyer. Sometimes a particularly brave canvasser for some local church or scam organization would show up and Crowley had to scare them off. Often Aziraphale was too polite to do so himself, especially if they didn’t take to his subtle hints. Only once had the angel gotten stern with someone, and that had been when they tried to good old ‘foot in the door’ technique. In that instance, Crowley had had to save the canvasser form Aziraphale.

That wasn’t what he found when he waltzed through the doorway. Standing there was Gabriel and Beezelbub in all their Heavenly and Hellish glory. They wore the same expression, of annoyance mixed with a large dash of disgust. “Oh shit.”

#fanfic #good omens #gomens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale/crowley #crowziraphale #azirapahel #tw mpreg #mpreg #fbafs

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gg-astrology · 5 years

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💘💫🌙☀️ Tag Games 🌙💫☀️💘

Thank you so much @kai-tashi for thinkin of me and tagging me in the post ;; 💕💕 I feel like I got to know u better thru this as well!! 💕💕

5 things in my bag

Sunglasses - sometimes I have 3 pairs in my bag just so I can match it with my ootd 💕

Wallet/Purse -- it’s a gold shiny one so I use it as a mirror as well ksdjnfjk it also has all my keys attached to it! 💕

Rollerball perfumes - I have mini ones just incase im in a dash (i usually am) i can grab them real quick and roll some on my wrist, shirt, dress, face, neck etc 💕 My essential is that I’m sensitive to scents/smells and I gotta be the best smelling person in the room at all times otherwise I feel whack (I don’t like not being clean either ijnskn makes me feel some typa way) 💕

Lip tint/stick- I have like 5 of these in my bag, I can’t stand not having anything on my lips. If it’s one thing I gotta have, it’s colours on my lips (not even bright ones just colours). Also because I like mixing colours tgt... I sometimes dab them on as blush or eyeshadow if I want a little more cohesive color scheme on my face? I like rose pink matte colours, soft feels 💕💕

Eye drops -- my eyes are dry as hell so I make sure to get them well lubricated all the time 💕 My left eye get irritated really easily

5 things you’ll find in my room (apart from my bed, wardrobe, mirror)

Books - so many books, I have 2 full bookshelves (double stacked) and I still have cabinets downstairs displaying by other books as well. I really need to reorganize cause I horde them alot 💕

My old painting/art-work - I frame them and keep them displayed, or hang my canvases. Some of them are kinda big tho so I just... place them against the wall and stack them like that ksjndf 💕

Hella Skin-care - I have a little make-up/skin-care corner where I’m actually managing to organize them with tiny bins and organization drawers. I keep my hair curlers and straighteners, my contact lenses and stuff in my vanity as well 💕

Lots of pillows/stuffed animals + 2m tall teddy bear - I don’t know why?? I just horde them on my bed? Along with a the teddy that I finally got last christmas. I named him bebito and he’s low-key a make shift bean bag for me to sit on sometimes ksdjn 💕All the dolls I bought when I’m with people or was feeling some type of ways, so there’s memories associated to them 💕

Clothes - I am overflowing with clothes. Constantly my laundry bin is stocked full and I feel like I’m doing so much laundry even though I dress like?? once a day?? I like layering my looks tho so maybe that’s why??

5 of my favourite things

Kitties - I lov them :((( 💕💕 I love other people’s pets as well

Documentary videos - no lie it gets me to relax/spend time decompressing just by watching them

My friends - I wouldn’t be who i am without them :(( 💕They are so good and caring and even tho I’m terrible at keeping in-check constantly they make sure not to pressure me bc I really am busy a lot of the time 💕

My emotional support teddy bear -- my favourite, oldest one whom I can’t sleep without. I once travelled and forgot her at home so i called my roommate up at 6am and made him check my bed for me in case she’s there (and not like, lost at the airport0 💕

My family - my understanding of camaraderie is being with the people in my private space/house and my neighbours too. Makes me feel like?? 💕 i’m a part of the community and keeps me happy most of the time 💕

5 things I’m currently into

True Crime Documentaries -- listen,,, when I said i love documentaries/autobiographies and non fictions i wasn’t kidding lmao this is how i get my dose of history daily, and some of the recent ones? i want to hear about new evidence about things too

App games - im super late to most of them but goddamn I love playing on apps when i know I have a charger nearby. 💕

Exercising - when I’m stressed/need to decompress this is my go-to. It’s a sure fire way to get me to relax and also feel better later. I’m an avid water-drinker anyways, so sweating it off comes with the territory (and i love showering like it’s my favourite thing to do i can’t stand not showering I’d probably take 3 showers a day if I could) 💕

Twt Aus - listen,,,, i can’t help it. I love how creative and imaginative they are?? 💕 And i love visual stuff. Like if it’s not auditory then it’s visual. When people send me their placements and aspects and I have to read them I’m always getting a bit of whiplash @_@... I jus do a lot better when I can see what’s happening y know? 💕

Reading more e-books - I used to not have time to do this,,, but I feel like I’ve been wanting to read more and more short pieces so I look for books that are like.. 100-300 pages and get through them at night instead 💕 I feel good about it too 💕 Since I can just keep them with me 💕💕 But idk I still like physical copies a lot as well..

5 things on my To-Do list

Get my phone fixed/get a new phone --- i might have fucked up my phone to the point where I can’t use the touch screen anymore just now whoops

Start taking more routine walks outside - I always walk when it’s necessary (to pick up some stuff) but I want to take more walks for health? I used to run alot as well but I haven’t done that in ?? a year?? so I want to get back in the groove soon (I’ll start walking tomorrow) 💕

Try to lessen my sister’s load - right now I’m cooking for everyone but I feel like if I drive to pick the kids up too, or do more little things for my sister I’ll feel better as well 💕 I want to try taking on more responsibilities, helping people with more stuff in my private sphere 💕

Ah open a new bank account - I haven’t got time to make one with the bank I wanted yet, so I gotta remember to do that. 💕 It’s just a little to-do list I gotta remember

Pick up a new body scrub - the one I’m using is too abrasive so I have to pick up ones that are more moisturizing/softer on my skin :(

#personal #ask game #tags #tag games #tagged

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kisameanslight · 5 years

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rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people you want to get to know better

tagged by: @birdwithteeth thanks buddy!

nickname: Ju

zodiac: virgo

height: 5′0

last movie i saw: the favourite

last thing i googled: einsten vs tesla (because apparently there’s discourse about this???? and i just needed to know what it was about. absolute nonsense in case anyone is wondering)

favorite musician: it changes a lot tbh but i always tend to go back to listening oasis and muse and think ‘shit this is good’

song stuck in my head: another one bites the dust (also that terrible jenifer song. non brazilians don’t interact)

other blogs: nope all my mess is here

do i get asks: rarely

following: 278

followers: 1533

amount of sleep: usually 8-9 hours on weekends and 6 or less on weekdays

lucky number: don’t really have one

what i’m wearing: pajamas

dream job: i’d be happy to pursue a career in software/computer engineering, which looks like it’s where i’m headed. let’s see.

dream trip: idk tbh but i’d love to take a really long road trip across some country.

favorite food: don’t make me choose you monster.

play any instruments?: nope but i’d like to learn s/t.

languages: portuguese and english.

favorite songs: it changes a lot depending on what i’m into atm, but i have a very special place in my heart for where did it all go wrong? and sunday morning call (both by oasis)

random facts: pink is my favorite color and i own a lot of pink shit, i legit love driving, i wear glasses and i don’t hate it at all.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: driving alone through the city, singing really loud on my own.

i tag @silvertonguespyglass, @earpwav, @spock-in-the-city, @sparkly-angell, @trickztr, @thranduil-aran-edhil, @thestormsmademeclean and anyone who wants to do it because i can’t remember 21 people

#about the blogger

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rememberingthesugden-dingles · 6 years

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capseycartwright replied to your post “i get it's annoying to see the same shit over and over but people were...”

tbh for me the thing that always brings me down is that the negative reaction becomes the hyper focus of fandom, you know? like absolutely if you don’t enjoy something or you think a scene is lacking, point it out, because that’s why you have this platform and use it, to express your opinions, but my dash got to a point last night where there wasn’t a single post that wasn’t ~~ discourse ~~ about robron and their affection and to me it just feels exhausting and unproductive to solely focus on that one thing you know? and that’s why personally i get so annoyed that we go through this every time robron have a scene that lacks physical affection bc while yes absolutely it’s lacking and it could definitely be better (no one really disputes that I feel) the days of hyper focused discourse that take over my dash no matter what tags i filter or blogs i block is just mentally draining, if that makes sense? like there has to be a balance between expressing a critical opinion and having that critical opinion be the only thing anyone talks about for hours. but maybe that is just me!

no no i totally get that lorna and i feel the same about constant negativity but in this case the scene had just happened, the episode had just ended and people were still reacting to it? like that doesn’t feel too unreasonable to me that when something striking and/or annoying happens, fandom is still talking about it into the next half hour or so you know? yes we’ve been there before with this particular subject lol but again, it had just been on our screen so it feels normal to be reacting to it, i don’t really have the impression that we’re always randomly going on about it the rest of the time (or maybe i’ve blocked those people idk).

also personally i don’t think every complaint is necessarily bad or to be avoided. i think it became ~discourse~ as we like to call it, because immediately there were people trying to shut it down and getting defensive? and i don’t think what people were reacting to/complaining about needed defending. i definitely don’t think the people that were attacked deserved it either..

i just feel there would be a lot less discourse if we could all go “yeah that was a bit shit” instead of making excuses and turning on each other, and then go back to more positive things, i guess i just really don’t get the controversy here but there’s also the fact that i’m someone that needs to say it when something bugs me? like it’s not good for me to try and push it down, even if it’s a small thing? it helps me be more positive in the long run but not everyone has the same way of experiencing fandom so i get that’s it’s more annoying to some

#capseycartwright

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kurosis · 7 years

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{smut headcanon} L, M, N, O, P ~

{ Smut Headcanon Game } - { meme link here }

L: Likes (What they like in the bedroom)

Uh??? I’m not quite sure how to answer this, I’m assuming this is about what sort of “mood” they prefer? Which, in that case, I can at least say this is one of the areas that Ju’s not very high maintenance. He generally doesn’t get anywhere people that aren’t expensive, live in luxurious clean surroundings, so that pretty much solidifies what sort of shit he gravitates towards.Devil!Verse wise, most things tend to remain the same as anything else: Burning copious clusters and candles and incense, decent lighting, and exactly zero interruptions ( he’ll lock doors or put up a damn barrier if he feels the need to, no joke ).

Outside of that, he’s really not very picky about his surroundings, especially in conjunction with some of the other verses I’ve had him in where things got messy ( Think he almost nailed someone in the back room at work in a modern!verse, and miscellaneous blowjobs in someone’s expensive ass car. Idk man, he’s a mess, but at least he’s an expensive mess ).

M: Morning (Describe morning sex)

Do you like being punched in the face with the force of ten tons of gravity magic? Do you like being teleported, butt naked, to remote regions of the earth? Do you like having your dick bent into balloon animal shapes?

If you answered NO to any of the above, then you’re probably not going to want to initiate morning sex with this guy. Ju is NOT a morning person. Do not try to make him a morning person. It will not happen and you will be sad or missing important parts of your anatomy.

N: Never (Things they would never try)

If it’s a much “stranger” fetish / kink ( watersports, anything suspicious involving “glass tables”, ect ), you can pretty much assume it’s never happening in any way, shape, verse, or form. Bondage of any kind and things of that nature are probably going to be a little touchier, because I have a hard time believing someone whose been forcibly controlled and used for most of his life is going to be 100% on board to throwing themselves in a scenario like that. Especially if his partner wanted to introduce restraints and sensory deprivation. Depending on the verse, and that canon’s verse, I can see him being curious about it, but you’re basically going to have to unlock like 20 some odd levels of Development before he allows anything like that.

Breathe-play and chocking are completely out of the question for my muse. Probably for all verses? This is based entirely on my smol blurb of head-canons about that entire thing and why he’s never seen without his neck jewelry ( tl;dr: strangulation, other body horror bullshit, ect ). Even just taking the damn thing off and letting someone touch or kiss his neck gently agitates the fuck out of him so, lol, nope.

Other than that, everything will pretty much go as I mentioned in another ask about experimentation. Just as long as he’s in a good mood, you seem like you know what you’re doing, you should be gucci ~

O: Orgasm (Describe coming–who comes first? What do they say? How does the other person know it’s approaching?)

Who comes first depends entirely on his partner, as I mentioned somewhere that he has pretty decent stamina. If intercourse has been pretty regular, he can tend to last quite a while before release, and then idk, pop up and go make a sandwich lol. If it’s been a long ass gap of time between sessions, you’ve left your Ju out to starve, so by the time it comes to it, he’s probably busting at the seams halfway into shit.

Judal really isn’t the sort to “say” much of anything outside of giving breathy directions to guide his partner. Teasing and orgasm denial are sure fire ways to get a little bit more chattiness out of him, but by that point he’s probably a damn mess, so no actual words will probably happen unless it’s like half a name or some shit.

Unless he knows his partner likes “loudness,” this muse is generally pretty low key ( you would be too if you were a teenage boy having to grow up with like 600 other people. jerkin’s gotta be quiet and careful bro ). He’ll give encouraging or pleasant moans and sounds here and there, but he controls himself by reflex and habit. You’ll mostly know he’s close based solely on body language and how tight his body and breathing is. If you want him to unwind and loosen control a little more, teasing him and wearing down that stamina is a “good start.” : ) ;;;

P: Playlist (A playlist for getting down and dirty; will probably include a lap dance song, a song for making love, and a song that represents their sex life)

Lap Dance / Stripping?? - { trust in me } ( and no one was surprised by this choice at all ) Gentle Fuckery - { versace on the floor } ( obligatory fluff tag ? ) Dirt Fuckery - { closer } ( self explanatory ) My Trash Son In A Song?? - { ex’s and oh’s } ( the question is, who hasn’t he slept with ) ( this is less a playlist and more a disaster lol )

#maelsxtrom #{ask meme: replies}#{headcanons}#{space oddity: the devils wear prada}#{retail me not}#{pretty hate machine}#//i think that about covers the bases lol

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