#i'm going to have a stroke but at the same time this just validated a lot of my thoughts about their respective personalities so it's like

[lowpolyshadow]

i transcribed the sonadow bumblekast episode so you don't have to

hopefully the formatting isn't really weird lol

Kyle: So this time, for Pride Month, we get to address the hypothetical fandom ship that's probably helped more than a few Sonic fans figure out their sexuality: Sonadow! A lot of straight fans probably had Rouge or Sally be their awakening, so don't throw stones. 

Ian: True, true. 

Kyle: Shadow is not quite in a place where it's easy to imagine him having a healthy romantic relationship. But it is honestly a bit problematic to have one character shift until they're suitable for another, unless it's a mutual situation. How would you execute the character growth for Shadow and Sonic that would most help enable Sonadow? 

Ian: There would have to be an understood vulnerability to Shadow, he would have to open up to a degree that makes him more accessible at a personal level, and it doesn't take much? We've seen hints of it throughout his appearances, it would just need to become established, and that I think is all you really need to build that bridge because Sonic is casual and accepting enough as he is, and he's going to allow Shadow to be who he is which is kind of prickly and standoffish as you would have that occasional moment where Shadow lets his guard down and is more empathetic or emotionally available. But otherwise they would both play it fairly cool and aloof I think (lol). 

Kyle: Yeah, they're together. What of it? So? Big deal. I like it.  There are obviously a lot of different popular ships in Sonic. In order to make one really stand out, you'd probably need to really spark intrigue on it before pushing the two characters together. How would you arrange the first key romantic spark that was intended to drive the fans towards wanting them together? 

Ian: I think it stems more from the characters already having good chemistry. I mean you look at the fandom in general and the fleet of ships that are sailing and all of them are based off of the fact that these characters are fun in their interactions regardless of who we're talking about. So if it were an intention of building something from scratch, for most of the Sonic cast, I think the work's already been done and there's already a great deal of trust and mutual respect between most of the characters. It would just be a matter of realizing that there is more than respect, there's more than kinship, there's a romantic affinity, and for one of those characters to make that realization and start to pursue it in their own particular way.  And then it becomes a question of well, is the object of their affection going to reciprocate? And if they don't, which leads to an interesting story of, now that they are on this path, yeah, they know that this is an option, do they come around to it? Or do they not? Are both characters kind of interested but they don't want to take that first step and so you have that carrot on a stick that is ever so effective for however long you want to run it? 

(laughing) 

Kyle: There's nothing that gets, uh, Sonic's motor running more than being called a faker. Apparently. 

(more laughing) 

Ian: Oh, he'll show you how real he is. 

Kyle: Oh, no! This is a family show, sir!

(even more laughing) 

With that idea fresh in our minds, how would you make it official for the two of them? 

Ian: God, if that ever came to pass. (lol) 

Kyle: I feel like it would have to be kind of like, understated? Like it would just kind of happen? 

Ian: Yeah, I've, they're both so cool and aloof in their own way, I don't see them making any kind of dramatic declaration or ... suddenly turning all mushy and lovey-dovey, it's not who they are. Um ... I, you know, the adventure concludes and they're standing side by side on the hillside looking at the sunset and the wreckage ... and they share, you know, a compliment, and instead of like a fist bump or a "see you next time" and, y'know, one of them runs off ... maybe they throw arms around each other or something and just kind of stand there. Again, they're not gonna be all "mweh mehmehmeh" ... tonsil action, it's, I see them being very chill about it all. 

(lol) 

Kyle: Also, keep in mind everyone, this is all just ... 'fan ideas', this is probably never gonna happen, it's very unlikely, we're just having fun here. 

Ian: It's hypothetical situations that I am approaching as reasonably and as authentically as I can. 

Kyle: Yes, yes, just to keep that in mind, just keeping everybody on the same page here. 

Ian: I am not endorsing, I am not unendorsing, 

I am just answering questions. Everybody simmer. 

Kyle: Let's assume that for whatever reason Shadow decided to seek out advice from the following, and whoever he asked has to answer with an honest attempt at the best advice they could offer. How would Professor Gerald, Dr. Eggman, the Commander, and Black Doom advise him? 

Ian: Gerald would be the most wholesome and effective, I think. I think he understands people better than ... certainly a lot of his family. Uh, and would advise Shadow to look inward to ask himself what he really wants, and to ruminate on that and then act with caution, you know, don't be hasty on this particular thing. Like all great research, it takes time to get the results that, you know, you want, or the results that will come to be - don't take anything as a given, but don't be afraid to pursue the truth, whatever that may be.  Eggman would scoff at the notion and, you know, sarcastically offer to set him up on a date, making it quite clear that it would all be a trap and an ambush and whatever. The Commander ... I don't see as being a very romantic individual, but I think he might be direct about that, right. He would say that his partner was someone he managed to find for himself, but that was largely thanks to her, and her efforts, because he was kind of clueless about this, but Shadow is also kind of in the same boat so you know, maybe ... at least be aware of your surroundings? If someone is prepared to make that gesture, be ... ready to receive it and understand it for what it is. How do you do that? He's not quite sure how he figured it out himself but you know, he's not good at this sort of thing.  And Black Doom would again, scoff. Love is a weakness, it is a distraction at best, a malady at worst, it is ... an affliction of the mind. An illusion created by inferior beings to facilitate necessary natural processes. You do not need love, you do not need anyone, you are my Ultimate Weapon now go get me them Chaos Emeralds. 

Kyle: (laughing) Those damn fourth Chaos Emeralds! They're all fourth!

Ian: (mimicking Black Doom) Honestly, Shadow, what's love got to do, got to do with it. What's love but a second hand emotion. 

Kyle: (laughing) Well, we all know Shadow can't resist a dying wish. Let's say in the aftermath of a terrifying evil scheme, Eggman once more had to team up with the heroes to save the world, but he died in the process, leaving Sage and her brothers in the care of his uncle and uncle-in-law. Assuming that if money were real, GUN would pay the kind of money that would keep a classy act like Rouge on staff so the boys don't need to change their heroics too much, how would they do as parents to Sage, Orbot, Cubot, and after a while if she so chose, potentially Belle? 

(THIS IS METAL ERASURE >:( whatever he doesn't wanna be part of this family anyways)

Ian: I'm a little lost in the wording on who is acting as surrogate parents here.

Kyle: I think it might supposed to be Sonic and Shadow ... but Rouge is also there? I think? 

Ian: Well I mean someone would have to look after the kids because it ain't gonna be them. 

Kyle: (laughing) No, I guess not?!

Ian: I mean, Sonic would Sonic would kind of show up for birthdays and events and to check in but he's ... he's not the stay at home dad. He's not the stay in one place dad, he's the dad who gets his steps in, if you catch my meaning.

Kyle: Okay, no, it was more an example of they’re ... willing to pay Rouge ... so they would be willing to also pay them ... so ... but ... I guess Rouge would not be the caretaker. So ... they would have to be the caretakers ... I don't think it would go well! Luckily, I think they're self-sufficient ... for the most part ... (starting to lose it)

Ian: I mean I can't really see GUN letting them off ... interestingly, to anyone. They would be on facility. But it would be Sonic and Shadow weighing heavily saying they're not captives, they're not tech to be assimilated into the greater GUN network, they are wards of your facility, right? Right? Which again, Sonic would be checking in on occasion to make sure that it's going well. And maybe Shadow would kind of become a satellite agent of GUN, just keep tabs on everything, check in on the others to some degree ... but ... we wouldn't have a case of My Two Dads on this one, they're not the parental types.

Kyle: We probably shouldn't trust GUN with child care. Probably not. Even robot children.

Ian: And ... you don't even need them to be a pair to get the kind of ... bickering parental - conflicting parental guidelines in this scenario. Sonic would be very much, ehhh let them stay up, let him eat ice cream, let them do whatever they want, Shadow's like no, they need discipline, you're going to spoil them.

Kyle: Worst fathers ever.

Ian: Belle I ... I, again, I can't really see as a parental role but I could see her as the put upon babysitter. She tries her best to look after them and keep things under control but ... honestly ... they're Egg tech, they're not going to cooperate all that much.

Kyle: ... Yeah ... yeah I guess ... Belle would have to be the older sister and she'd probably end up being the one who does most of the work. Ugh.

Ian: Someone who tried to stop the caper of stealing the Commander's loafer or something. "I'm gonna get in trouble you guys! Stop!"

Kyle: Alright. Shadow is immortal, he will probably outlive Sonic. Unfortunately, given Sonic's lifestyle, that may not be that hard ... although given Shadow's first adventure, it could go either way. Sonic would probably understand that Shadow copes with things like this better when he has a sense of meaningful purpose to focus on. This seems like the type of thing Shadow would project onto his partner if it came to it, so what would each other ... so what if ... so what would each of their dying wishes to each other be?

Ian: Morbid. 

Kyle: (lol) 

Ian: You're going for the beautiful sadness type of thing I think. Uh, Sonic's would be ... what he wishes for everyone, is to be true to yourself and to live free. Perhaps that be true to yourself ringing a little more resoundly in Shadow's case, you know, don't close yourself off ... again. You know, be free to open up to someone else again down the road, and just be honest with yourself and be free to make that choice. 

Kyle: Open your heart, Shadow, it'll be alright.

(laughing)

Dammit! You would do that. 

Ian: Yeah, I absolutely would. 

(more laughing)

As for Shadow ... he would want Sonic to endure, you know, to just continue to carry on ... to not be defeated by anything. To find a way to escape death and just continue being, because, you know who else can replace him? Nobody. He would want that to endure forever.

Kyle: Yep. Good thing Sonic's got extra lives.

So Sonic and Shadow have gotten engaged, and they're trying to figure out how to approach their family name. Would Sonic take Shadow's last name, or Shadow take Sonic's, each keep their own, or each add the other's with a hyphen? Given Shadow's right to certain other last names, there could be a timeline with a Sonic Robotnik or (losing it) Sonic Doom.

Ian: No, they'd go with their current surnames, and as a sign of solidarity, they would just swap them so it would become Sonic the Hedgehog and Shadow the Hedgehog.

Kyle: Right, okay, okay ... good, good. Yeah, okay, it'll be fine, as long as Shadow doesn't take Maurice or something we'll be good.

(laughing)

Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehog. No relation.

Ian: We could hyphenate it! Sonic the Hedgehog-Hedgehog! (Shadow voice) Don't make me regret my decisions. 

Kyle: Too late, he already does. He already does.  Sonic has a great found family, and presumably in order to get Shadow to a point where he could date Sonic we'd be dealing with a much more Team Dark take on Shadow, who also has that. How would they both adapt to regularly hanging out with each other's found family? 

Ian: Uhhh ... The Sonic side of things is always very opening and it's ... open and accepting. And that's ... hilarious ... to the Team Dark side of things, because you can take such advantage of that. I think there would be attempts made on Team Sonic's side to incorporate everyone into the big happy family and eventually it would come to the understanding that, you know, there's appreciation ... there's respect, but there also needs to be distance. It's okay that they only get together for like, the holidays, and then they all keep to themselves. Nothing against anybody it's just, you know, oil and water don't necessarily mix all the time. And the time Rouge stole the Christmas presents ... Knuckles’s still a little salty about that one. 

Kyle: Aw. Poor Knuckles.  I play a lot of DnD with my boyfriend, he's big into it and happy to have another person for his DnD groups. Meanwhile I always enjoyed the little bit I got to play, but didn't get the opportunity as much in the past. It is unfortunately, for him, very much a ... forever DM for the group he has assembled. With this new little family we've assembled around the Sonadow pairing, who would be their forever DM? Omega is a war forged Barbarian, right? I mean yes. I mean ... you mean in the game? I mean he could be whatever he wants in the game, but in real life, yes.

Ian: I think you could make a case he's war forged Barbarian in every connotation of the word. 

Kyle: Pretty much! 

Ian: Uh ... I can't remember how we ... because I feel like this ties into just general DnD, we've been asked this before ... I would think Tails would be the DM. 

Kyle: Yeah ... yeah, Tails is the one who has the most, uh ... patience, I think, to really learn stuff. Amy maybe. 

Ian: Maybe ... I mean, he would like to construct the campaigns, he would be the better rules lawyer between the two of them. Um, I think he might be a little more of a stickler than Amy, I think Amy would allow for a little more rule of cool, but I don't think Tails would be obnoxious about it, you know. If you roll a one and things have gone very badly, he'd be trying to help you figure out a way around it. It's like, you know, okay, this is a bad situation! What do you see around you that could stop you from being on fire? Or, Amy! Don't you remember you have this particular Scroll of Healing or whatever? I - I haven't played DnD I don't know.

Kyle: I mean, yeah, that exists, it's fine, you got it. 

Ian: He wouldn't be a "rocks fall, everyone dies" DM, but he would be someone who's like, no, you can't fudge the numbers, you miss. "How do you mean I miss, I'm right in his face!" You rolled a two, what can I tell you! 

Kyle: He might think about "rocks fall, everyone dies" for a second, though, once again fed up - 

Ian Every turn, Omega's like "I KILL EVERYONE IN THE ROOM." Even the party? "YES." No, you can't do that! "IT IS IN CHARACTER." I don't care!!!!

(laughing) 

Kyle: Oh man, yeah, I mean, I don't know how long it would take for him to get fed up with Monty Python references but ... (lol) Probably not very long. Uh, and it turns out Monty Python is an actual python comedian in their world, and ... (losing it again) I'm here for it. That'd be cool. Time for the coveted Digimon question! I don't know who's coveting the Digimon questions, but alright, I guess Twilord is. In Digimon, there's a concept of DNA digivolution, where two digimon can fuse together. Sometimes this phenomenon creates a mental link between the Tamers and lets them glimpse each other's thoughts and feelings. This admittedly varies a bit so you have a lot of creative freedom on your solution. Assume the two of them were closeted for lack of it having come up yet, from those whose Digimon starters you might've ... you might choose to have DNA digivolve with Sonic's or Shadow's partners ... which partners figure it out from the basic mental connection, and of them how would they handle knowing without being told? I'm assuming that ... like, they have not confessed their love for each other but they somehow use this to figure it out.

Ian: And really ... Digimon ... it's not asking about the Digimon themselves, it's acting as Sonic and Shadow are the trainers, right. 

Kyle: Right. 

Ian: Uh ... The hardest question of this is who is more obtuse between the two of them ... 

Kyle: (LMAO) Yes. That's the answer. 

Ian: Shadow ... in general ... might be a little quicker on the draw ... so he would make the realization and that might prompt him to ... open up ... whereas Sonic just already kind of took it as a given, it wasn't really a realization to him, so he didn't really think much of it. 

Kyle: I guess ... Yeah, I guess that kind of fits. I guess that fits. 

Ian: (Shadow voice) Once we were linked, I cam to a realization ... and well, now that I know it's reciprocated, I guess I can say I'm really into you.  (Sonic voice) Oh yeah, I already knew. 

Kyle: (laughing) Yeah, everyone's into me. No, no that's not what I mean - 

Ian: (Shadow voice) It means you don't have a romantic bone in your body. 

Kyle: (LOSING IT me too dude) I think the idea ... apparently .. I'm getting word that the idea behind this question was that they haven't told anyone yet, and their friends find out this way.

Ian: Ohhh, okay. 

Kyle: Okay. Well here's the thing ... Most people in Sonic's world are very accepting and everything, so I don't think it would ... be a big deal? (lol) 

Ian: Yeah, I mean, if anything ... the biggest reaction would come out of Amy. There might be shock she found out ... Well, shocked at first, but if she found out, and they haven't really opened up to each other yet about it, she would go hardcore matchmaker. 

Kyle: Oh, no! (laughing) 

Ian: Like, if they both feel that way, and they aren't being honest with their affections, ohhhh no no no, she will not let that stand. Nope. She will move heaven and earth to see love realized. 

Kyle: (laughing) Even if it's not Sonic loving her, I guess, huh? (more laughing)

Ian: Disappointed, sure ... but, y'know, fine. What she wants is for him to be open and true with himself, and true with others. Love is a powerful force in the universe, and she will see its will done. 

Kyle: Yeah (lol), she is a true ally, yes. 

Ian: A real intense ally. 

Kyle: (laughing) Kind of frightening. 

Ian: Again, put down the torches and pitchforks, this is a hypothetical, this is for funsies. Let it be. 

Kyle: Yes, let's have some fun. 

Ian: Moving on, he's got a question for you, Kyle. 

Kyle: Alright. 

Ian: So in terms of romantic progression for fictional characters, you would say that after the romcom where the parents get home together in the sitcom where they all have to live their lives together ... can you please pitch me three episode ideas for the up and never coming sitcom, The Hedge Hogs, for me to rate?

Kyle: Oh, no. Uh, I didn't read this before we started! Uh ... hm ... come up with these on the fly ... um ... I'm like, not great at that. Let me think here ... Let me think here …

Ian: Let me help you out. 

Kyle: Okay, hit me. 

Ian: Fast and the Furious ... they both run out to get takeout quickly and they deal with incorrect orders. 

Kyle: Okay - 

Ian: Becomes a conflict of their personalities where Sonic's like hey, I'll take the pickles off! And Shadow's like he said no pickles. 

Kyle: Okay .. ! (laughing) Yeah, that's good. That's good. Um ... Hm ... hmm ... God, I really am bad at this (lol). I feel like there has to be one where they're trying to drive somewhere and they can't decide ... they'd like get lost, and then one of them is like, you don't need directions - it'd probably be Sonic, Sonic would be driving and he refuses to ask for directions, and Shadow's like trying to get him to pull over and ask for it. 

Ian: (Shadow voice) Please, pull over. 

Kyle: (laughing) Yeah, yeah ... I mean, that's another trope of sitcoms. (lol) 

Ian: Here's one for you ... Surprise Control - Sonic and Shadow are each trying to prepare a birthday surprise party for the other, not realizing that, son of a gun, they share the same birthday! No, they've never actually discussed this or put it together. Hijinx ensue. 

Kyle: (laughing) Do they, actually? - No, nono, Sonic Adventure 2's like a few days before ... but, you know, it's funnier if they do. 

Ian: Rouge is the first one to figure it out and she runs interference to make sure nobody clears it up for them. 

Kyle: (laughing) Yeah, yeah, I like that one ... Alright, let's see - 

Ian: Turns into a big blow up where they're both angry that neither of them knew what each other's actual birthday was, and then the tension is broken when Omega pops out of the cake like Marilyn Monroe. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE TWO OF YOU. 

Kyle: (laughing) And then ... he sets off the fireworks. Which are actually just …

Ian: Omega, not inside the HOUSE- !!!! 

Kyle: (LAUGHING) Which are actually just more DAKKA.

Ian: Has to be inside an apartment complex so Eggman can pull a Newman(?). "Hello, Sonic." 

Kyle: (losing it) Ohhh, nooo ... 

Ian: "I hear you've got the prime time cable package. Mind if I come in to play games on it?" ... Yeah, sure I guess, it's fine - "COME ON KIDS, HE SAID IT'S FINE!" 

Kyle: (still laughing) Oh, no .... 

Ian: Orbot ... Cubot ... Tribot ... a few Egg pawns ... 

Kyle: (laughing) Uh, who's the Kramer in this situation? (laughing) Knuckles?

Ian: Big the Cat. 

Kyle: Okay. 

Ian: Exact same mannerisms. 

Kyle: OKAY. (laughs) Yeah, okay. 

Ian: You know, mid conversation busts down the door, (Big voice) Froggy? Froggy, where are you? 

Kyle: (truly shitting it now) Oh, no ... Oh, no ... Oh nohoho ... The episode where Shadow's parents all come over for the holidays ... All four of them ... 

Ian: (cackles) (Shadow voice) Why do I have so many parents ... 

(laughing) 

(Black Doom voice) Now, we shall air our grievances on this festivus ... Shadow, finish the bowl. 

Kyle: (losing his mind) 

Ian: (Black Doom voice) Festivus ... is for the rest of us ... 

Kyle: Oh, boy. Oh boy. Terrible. I love it. I love it ... Alright, I think that's enough.

Ian: It certainly is. Happy pride month to all of you celebrating. Be good to yourselves, be good to each other, and we will see you next time.

#it was just for friends in a discord server but i mean why not put it up for the world #i did it all by ear and just typing as i listened for a second go round so if it's not 100% accurate don't be mean to me <3 #i'm going to have a stroke but at the same time this just validated a lot of my thoughts about their respective personalities so it's like #this made me happy. im also going to implode from surrealness #sonadow #speaking

[arminsumi]

★ Satoru's undercut

★ Synopsis : He fears the hairdresser like it's the dentist. One day, he accidentally gets an undercut style. He would have thrown a tantrum if it weren't for your positive response — because all he really cares about is that you enjoy his haircut.

★ Content : soft fluff, romantic tension, some mutual pining??

★ Library ★ reblog for a cake slice! 🍰

"This will ruin my life..."

"It will not ruin your life."

"I'm gonna die!"

"You're not gonna die."

"Yes, I'm gonna die! They're gonna cut my head off."

"They're not gonna cut your head off."

Satoru had a haircut appointment which you were accompanying him to as per his desperate demand request. Suguru was there also, helping Shoko with something technical on her phone. He laughed when Satoru was whining to you.

The four of you were on the train; Suguru and Shoko stood tightly packed with their backs facing other people as if they were the group shield. And Satoru sat next to you, clinging to your arm as if he were a kid on his way to the dentist.

"Don't laugh. You know I feel the same about hairdressers as people feel about dentists!" he pouted.

"Satoru, you're so weird." you said.

“I'm not!”

You shook your head at him. Satoru grumbled.

"No one understands me!" he said dramatically.

Suguru commented, "I do understand why you dislike hairdressers, Satoru; most of them don't cut your hair how you want."

Shoko nodded and chimed in, "— yup, and you usually leave with a fake smile and say "oh wowww... I love it!" but you actually hate it." then she went back to frowning at her phone with Suguru.

“My hair is important, I can't afford to have a bad haircut." Satoru said.

"Haha, you make it sound like if you have a bad haircut it could cost you millions." you laughed.

Satoru sat up straighter and spoke seriously, "It may as well cost me millions!"

You didn't understand why Satoru was being so dramatic.

****

The hairdresser looked at you, Shoko and Suguru and then wondered why so many people were accompanying this grown man to his haircut, as if he were about to get a root canal for the first time.

Suguru whispered into her ear, and she blushed at his alluring charm like anyone would.

"He's scared of bad haircuts... so please do your best, he has a girl to impress. See that one sitting there?” Suguru pointed to you, “Yeah, that's the one."

He accidentally flustered her, and he smirked about it when he returned to you and Shoko.

"Suguru, your head looks as big as a bubble about ready to pop." you joked, noticing his smug demeanor as he took a waiting seat with you.

"I think I just flustered the hairdresser on accident." he said.

Shoko chuckled, "Is it ever an accident? I think you do it on purpose — oh, Y/n, I think Satoru is trying to get your attention. Give him some comfort."

Satoru recoiled when the cold blade of the scissors touched his neck, and looked distressed when the hairdresser touched his hair.

You knew he was highly sensitive to touch, especially his hair — he hated people touching his hair (reason X for hating hairdressers). The only person who was allowed to touch his hair was you. Suguru and Shoko needed a "valid reason" for touching Satoru's hair.

But you could comb your fingers through his hair any time, any place for no reason and Satoru would go limp with a smile on his face, completely melting for the act of affection.

Sometimes when it was just you and him alone together in his apartment, especially during his sleepless nights, Satoru would lay his tired head on your lap and ask you to play with his hair. Each stroke of your hand mellowed him out. He especially loved the feeling of your fingers running through his hair when it was fluffy and long.

So really, he feared not the hairdresser or even the bad haircut, but the fact that it might be too short or not fluffy enough for you to enjoy. It had to be just right. He had to maintain his fluffy hair for you.

He wanted to make sure that when you saw him at every party and get-together, you'd think "Wow, Satoru's hair looks so good.". He wanted you to compliment his hair and make him feel good and blushy.

And most of all, he just wanted to please your eyes. He wanted you to be starstruck when you looked at him.

So, a good haircut was critical.

****

Satoru's panic calmed after you took the empty seat next to him. He watched in admiration as you struck up a friendly conversation with the hairdresser. She turned out to be kind. She was an apprentice (picture nervous Satoru stiffening his shoulders when he learned this) and her mother owned the establishment next door.

Satoru was mostly quiet and focused on his reflection in the mirror. He squinted in suspicion when the lady brought out a hair buzzer.

But then you distracted Satoru by asking about what the four of you were doing after this. He stuttered a bit, half-looking at the hair buzzer and jumping a little when it turned on.

You talked so much that Satoru was completely distracted, and the lady could work. Though, it was hard, because Satoru didn't really specify what he wanted... so she winged it.

She thought hey, this guy would look good with an undercut. So, she cut an undercut for Satoru, and looked at you and smirked. His girlfriend will appreciate it, she thought as she looked at you and Satoru talking with hearts in your eyes.

You weren't his girlfriend. But you may as well have been. The two of you were anyways soulmates since kindergarten. Sure, you went away for five years to work abroad, but the link between you and Satoru wasn't broken by the distance.

****

Satoru gasped and nearly fainted when he saw how short his hair had been buzzed at the bottom. His neck felt exposed and suddenly it felt more drafty.

"What the—"

"— oh, you look hot, Satoru." You said.

He immediately shut up and went red in the face.

"Thanks, yeah it looks... yeah." Satoru hesitantly complimented the hairdresser's work.

She beamed proudly and wrapped up the haircutting session. Satoru took off the black dressing gown and stood up and shimmied the white hair off his pants.

"The cat is shedding." you joked, making Satoru grin with sealed lips.

You picked a white strand of his hair off the back of his shirt when he stood in line to pay at the checkout. He didn't notice. Such a cute boy.

Satoru was just grumbling to himself about how he'd need a scarf or turtleneck to compensate for his "practically naked" hairstyle now.

You stared at his undercut and felt your heartbeat get a bit frantic.

Then you kept staring as you left the barber shop.

Satoru wrapped an arm around your shoulders out of habit, as if he were your boyfriend, so the hairdresser felt sure that you two were dating and said something as you two left that really made you and Satoru blush;

"Your girlfriend loves it." she winked.

"I'm not his—"

"She's not my—"

"She sure does! Thanks for everything, see ya." Shoko cut off you and Satoru from responding and shoved the two of you out the door.

****

That comment lingered in the back of yours and Satoru's minds for the rest of the day.

On the train home, you grazed your fingers over Satoru's undercut and it elicited the funniest reaction out of him; he shivered like a cat that had just been scratched in a sweet spot.

"Haha, does that feel good?" you asked.

"It does. But my neck feels naked." Satoru shrugged.

Oh my god, do that again, he thought. It felt so good.

"Aw, then Y/n should wrap her arms around your neck." Suguru said in a flirtatious murmur.

Shoko laughed and propped a cigarette between her lips.

The four of you got off the train, you parted ways. Suguru and Shoko lived in different places and had to wait for their respective trains to take them home. So, you said your goodbyes and went with Satoru.

When you and Satoru moved out of your university housing, you both decided to live on the same street. You can say it was for X reasons, like oh it's a good neighborhood or oh the prices are great or oh the apartment walls aren't thin... but let's be honest; you and Satoru just didn't want to live too far from each other. You were inseparable, even cry-babies whenever the two of you were separated.

Satoru was always clinging or touching you in some way – hanging off your shoulders, resting his chin on the top of your head, draping an arm around you, holding your hand, snuggling into your neck. The closeness brought him more comfort than his own bed. He even claimed once that he could fall asleep on you more readily than on his bed.

Sometimes he was just shy of kissing you when you two met up, or when he knocked on your apartment door some mornings. His lips would graze over yours by accident in some circumstances, and though the two of you would laugh it off, there was an unmistakable spark in the air between you and him.

****

“Do you like it?” Satoru asked.

“I love it. You look really good.” You replied.

Satoru smiled to himself, hiding his face in your lap.

The TV was playing the most recent episode of that trashy romance soap opera – the episode where the two love interests kissed in the rain. Satoru stared hard at their lips connecting, and thought of why he hasn’t attempted to kiss you again. He didn’t want to ruin anything, so he kept his confession to himself even if it was obvious that he liked you.

You noticed he went a bit silent as you ran your fingers through his hair. He made a soft, long groan when your fingertips tickled up the back of his neck and over his prickly undercut.

“You sound like a cat.” You laughed.

His eyes were closed, brows relaxed into a sleepy arch. Whenever he got drowsy in your lap, his lips would part and show his two front teeth.

****

After getting an undercut hairstyle, Satoru was living in heaven with how much attention you gave his hair. Every day you’d find an excuse to play with his hair.

It made his heart beat harder and his mind go blank whenever you touched his neck and hair. He’d get shivers and close his eyes each time you did it, and would even stop talking mid-sentence.

In time it grew out. He refused to go back to the hairdresser, and instead insisted that you cut his hair for him. At first, he attempted to do it himself, but then he wimped out as soon as he held the scissors to his hair.

So, after he practically begged you on his knees and voiced his fear for the hairdresser, you agreed.

Cutting Satoru’s hair was a whole event. You invited Suguru and Shoko over to your apartment, and the four of you were laughing in the cramped bathroom together.

You had no idea what you were doing, and the online tutorials didn’t help much.

Satoru was dramatic when he thought you were cutting it too short or jagged, and he was so very picky that it drove you nuts to the point of putting the scissors down and leaving. But then he hugged your legs and apologized cutely, so you came back. Suguru and Shoko had to get it on camera because it was pure comedy.

“Alright, fairy princess. How did I do?” you asked Satoru.

He checked himself out in the mirror. His jawline and shorter hair drove you a bit wild, it was hard to contain yourself.

“It’s okay.” He replied cheekily.

“Just “okay”?! I put my soul into this!”

He grinned. “I’m just teasing.” He said, “I like it. Now let’s test it out.”

You looked confused. “Test it out?”

“Play with my hair.” He explained, “And tell me you like how it feels or else I’ll cry.” He added dramatically.

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

#do u think if u ran ur fingers thru his hair he'd purr? 🤔 #fluff #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fluff #gojo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #satoru gojo #satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #x reader #jjk fic #gojou satoru x reader #jjk satoru #jujutsu satoru #jujutsu kaisen satoru #satorugojo

[perictione00]

She's a Man-eater

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x reader

Warnings: MDNI, sub! gojo satoru, dom! reader, smut, degradation, heavy edging and overstimulation, cock stepping, choking, age difference(7-years, reader is older), oral sex, sounding, riding, unprotected sex.

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

"Hngh...please...I need you", his desperation was so satisfying. He looked so beautiful crawling towards you, naked, with a collar on his neck with your name engraved on it.

"But we had a deal, no? You cum five times and I'll treat you", you coo. Breaking someone's body has become your new favorite hobby. To get them so high that normal never works for them. That they come crawling back to you.

"Haah...ngh...mmf...I can't anymore, please." You understand now why men like to oppress women. Power is a fucking drug, and controlling someone stimulates it.

"Then I'm afraid I can't help you, Satoru", you said, sounding disappointed, causing him to start stroking his already twitching cock. With his head thrown back, sweat beads covered his flushed face as he continued jerking himself off, moaning wildly, until he came for the fifth time in the same night.

What a sight. So strong yet so fragile—such a complaint one. Easy to mold and easy to manipulate. Watery blue eyes stared at you with hope. He was such a good pet. He deserved a reward for his hard work. So you took off your very wet panties and threw them to the other side of the room.

"Good boy, now go fetch."

Without wasting a second, Satoru fetched your panties on all fours. Sniffing it, he lapped on it and drooled at your taste. You watched him as he buried his face in your panties and continued groaning loudly. His hips bucked up instinctively, fucking into nothingness to seek any sort of friction to calm his now-hardening dick.

"More...I want more", Satoru begged as he moved towards your lap.

"Yeah? Tell me, will you do anything for me?", you questioned affectionately as you slid your hands and ruffled his disheveled hair.

"Ya...yes, anything. I can d-do any and everything for you", he answered, sounding breathless.

Yanking him back by the hair, you opened your legs and forced his face into your pussy. While he sucked on your clit, you noticed how he kept glancing at your moaning form. It was obvious that he wanted to feel validated by pleasing you. The poor thing was in love with you; the least you could do was grind on his face and use him. So you used his nose to gain some roughness and pulled on his hair as his tongue slurped on your wetness. Getting suffocated by your thighs drove Satoru to the brink, and his sensitive cock leaked for the sixth time. But he was so drunk on you. So much so that he couldn't stop and kept fucking your hole till you came.

"If you do it right, I'll reward you with a truffle cake", you declared to a ten-year-old who was being more annoying than usual. Gojo Satoru was the new big thing in the Jujutsu world, and although he was just a child, he was already much better than most of the second-grade sorcerers. And since he was destined to be the strongest, a majority of his time was consumed in practicing, and that too with well-versed sorcerers like yourself.

"Liar. You said that the last time too and didn't bring me any", the lil guy yelled as he continued pouting.

"That was because you literally announced it to the whole house. You think anyone here would lemme feed you, a child, a whole cake?", you retorted, closing the distance between you.

"I'm not a child. I defeated two of your classmates, remember", he scoffed.

"God, I don't have time for this. Listen, Satoru, if you don't do this, forget the cake; I'm never bringing anything for you, and then you can have a great time practicing with Daddy too", you were sure this threat was enough to keep him in check. It was your favorite weapon against him. And when you saw his frowning form turning back to practice, you knew it had hit the right mark.

Gojo had developed a sweet tooth early on because of your constant rewards after practice sessions. It was easier. Satoru already knew well that he was stronger than an average person; hence, with all his sass, he avoided training, even with you. If it was up to him, he would only play with you. So you introduced him to the world of sweets, and the rest is history. Growing up with Satoru, you knew your ways with him. To you, rather than a little brother that you never asked for, he was more like an asset who was the key to your goal. It worked out well. He became the ace up your sleeve, and you became his favorite company.

Coming from a non-sorcerer family, at the age of 6, you immediately piqued the interests of many families with your unexpectedly strong cursed technique, one of them being the Gojo clan. Initially, people thought it was for the sake of marrying you off to someone within the clan, but it surprised everyone when the head of the clan announced his goal of sponsoring your education until you were an adult. What seemed like a random play turned out to be a well-thought-out scheme to have stronger allies. For several hundred years, no one in the Gojo family had inherited both the six eyes and the limitless techniques, portraying the clan as weaker among the Big three families, so it was better to have an active margin to keep the center intact. That was the reason why you grew up learning from the best of the best and became a first-grade sorcerer by the age of 14. Which was why you ended up training the future of the clan. Or maybe the real deal was that the insolent brat wouldn't practice with anyone other than you.

Before his birth, you were the apple of everyone's eye, including all the servants and his father. It all changed, though—after his birth, that is. From the moment Gojo Satoru was born, his mere existence was celebrated; he was treated like a king, but you, on the other hand, were neglected. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. You were a child. With all the attention that you desperately craved, snatched away so suddenly, you couldn't help but feel jealous and envy the blue-eyed devil who had hypnotized every sane adult in the clan. You were there first, then why were you not as loved as he was? He was such a burden, a crybaby who couldn't fend for himself and had to be under surveillance at all times. You were forced to be by his side to keep track of his needs, which made you more hostile towards him. Fortunately, you warmed up to him as time went on. The hostility melted into care as you looked after the little demon who was always following you, crawling on all fours, when he always cried in your absence, and when instead of gibberish, his first words turned out to be your name.

The jujutsu world is cruel, and it's worse if you're a woman. The pathetic mentality of a few old geezers was enough to drive out women from this field. With the misconduct of power, the status of women was intentionally devalued through a sequence of meaningless regulations. For something so basic, women had to prove themselves worth it in order to be given the same treatment and respect as any other man. Women were associated with childrearing and bearing. And if they somehow turned out to be more than what was expected of them, the scope of their development is reduced. You learned it a little too late.

"Don't be greedy now. Grade 1 is as far as you go. I'm sure the clan backing you up wouldn't like that either. You're 15, right? A looker that's for sure. Ripe age. About time you start getting marriage offers, no?"

"If only you didn't have a mouth on you. Well, I'm sure I can fuck it out of you."

"Special grade!? Even if all of us in the room used you, there's no chance you're ever getting there."

"Give up on that impossible dream of yours. Isn't it too much for you to carry on as a grade 1 anyways?"

"Don't make me laugh."

"All I see is a hole inviting me to fuck. Come on, lemme help you discover all you're good for."

"Grade 1? Who did you fuck to get there? The clan head? Are the rumors true? I've heard he has a thing for young girls. I can see why he would give in to you, though."

That's how it was and will always be. In a world dominated by men, you will never be able to achieve what your heart longs for. You will never be the strongest. You will have to act according to their will and listen to the crap that comes out of their mouths. It was not fair. You were dragged into this world without consent, and now that you finally accept reality and try to be something more, they tell you that it was never possible. Hypocrites. You were not a slave. If you were being objectified by a bunch of old men, you might as well use them to get what you want. You can give them a sense of control and suck them dry of their powers. Use them until they serve your desires, and throw them away the moment you're done. It is okay if you can't be the strongest; you can always be with the strongest.

Gojo Satoru was the strongest sorcerer. He could have anything he wished for, yet he couldn't have you. On his 7th birthday, he declared in front of all the maids that he'd marry you and have about a hundred kids with you. His confession was met with a few chuckles and pity, but he was sure of his resolve. On the same day, you skipped practice sessions to meet with some dirt from your class and wished him a happy birthday minutes before his birthday ended. Let's just say that an angry Satoru melted from your apology, which consisted of a customized Digimon watch, his favorite pastries, and a peck to his cheek.

To him, you were the prettiest girl. And age was just a number. He just needed to grow up faster and be taller to be with you. You were the only one who treated him like a normal human. And the only one who genuinely wished the best for him and cared for him without any malicious or hidden intention. However, nothing had prepared him for your exit from the household on your eighteenth birthday. He was dumbfounded when you told him the same. He remembers crying and begging you to stay with him—not that it changed your decision, but you did promise to meet him every week, which was not enough for him.

Time went by, and Gojo Satoru realized that he wanted you all for himself. You were famous not only for your capabilities and beauty but also for your infamous relationships. He recalls how one of the Zenin clan men fell head over heels for you and took his own life because he couldn't have you. He also recalls how a senior representative of the Kamo clan went crazy after you left him and the stories of countless men who were doomed to the same fate. You were magical, and those low lives weren't your equals. Of course, you wouldn't settle for them; you were way too good for them. That's why he wants to become strong and be of any worth to you.

You came back to the house once, after 5 years, when you were accused of assassinating a higher-up, and somehow, after just two hours in his father's room, you were announced to be not guilty a day later. On that very day, you hugged him for the first time while comforting him about the incident with the sorcerer killer as he smelled his father's cologne on you. If he wasn't bound by relationships, he was sure that he would have killed his own father in a heartbeat.

Later that year, he confessed his love for you on your 23rd birthday, and you shot him down instantly. Calling him a child and whatnot. He wasn't immature; he was just a bit overly enthusiastic but not impulsive. Maybe it was just about his age. That's what he told himself until you rejected him again and again and again. For the first time, he saw the distance between you both. How you were climbing up the status ladder in the Jujutsu hierarchy and how the number of your lovers was increasing with every passing month. Something snapped inside him as realization hit him, and at the young age of 16, he lost his virginity to a housemaid his age.

You had successfully infiltrated all the major clans except for the Gojo clan. You were not going to infiltrate that clan; you had decided to own it. Although latent, your influence was more than a lot of high-ups combined. But of course you wouldn't rub it on everyone's faces; you didn't need to hurt their egos to feel your worth anymore. You just needed to act submissive and poised; that would do the trick. Nobody needed to know that all the cards were in your favor and that you were the real puppeteer.

When it came to the Gojo clan, you heard here and there that your little prince had learned to fuck around. It was about time he was tamed. So on his 19th birthday, you rewarded him with a gift of a lifetime.

"No...shit... please-aahh...it won't fit, please", Satoru mumbled as tears streamed down his flushed face.

"It will. You will make it fit for me, right?", you whispered and resumed kissing him down his neck, stopping only to abuse his hard nipples. He was a moaning mess, trembling with every movement, cringing at the sharp but pleasurable pain as you continued inserting a sounding rod in his penis.

You stood up to admire your artwork once you were done. No man has ever looked so beautiful. Gojo Satoru was kneeling in front of you, twitching like an insect, crying, and losing himself to you. He was so submissive, so perfect. You were going to take your sweet time devouring him.

You dragged your foot over to his cock and asked him, "What do you say, Satoru? Should I step on it?"

He was barely able to make a coherent sentence as you toyed with his cock while the pressure of the inserted rod edged him to the highest degree. Just when he thought it couldn't get any better, you took off your panties and stuffed them in his mouth. You were left with nothing but your bra; however, you unhooked them the moment an idea popped up in your mind. Tying them around Satoru's neck, you pulled on em, making him choke. Suddenly, he looked like every man who had wronged you, underestimated you, and molested you. He looked heavenly as he struggled to breathe, and Gojo would be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy life slipping out of him just a bit. When he was expecting you to finally take the rod out, you laid him down and positioned yourself on his dick.

You teased yourself with the cold metal end of the rod and slowly sank down Satoru's length. You looked down only to see him blabbering and moaning uncontrollably. His teary blue eyes and instant desperation to rut into you were painted all over his face. He tried thrusting into you, only to feel overwhelmed by the rod. You started bouncing on his cock and playing with your nipples. It would be an understatement to say that Satoru was hypnotized by you. He was enamoured by you. In this moment, you looked like an absolute goddess, and he was ready to lose himself in you. Your walls were gripping onto his length so tightly that he felt lightheaded. You continued grinding on his cock as you reached your orgasm. Getting off immediately to take his cock in your mouth and tease him a bit more.

"Are you my whore, Satoru?", you asked as you squeezed his balls. Had you broken him? Because it looked like he was too far gone. Did he stop working?

"Yes, I'm ya-your wh...whore".

You smirked. It was done. It's easy to break them when they're young, just like they broke you. You bobbed your head on his dick, sucking on his prominent veins and slurping some globs of his semen. Then, all of a sudden, you harshly took out the sounding rod, and with that, Satoru reached his orgasm with a high-pitched moan. But you didn't stop, not yet. You continued sucking on his member, taking in all of his jizz. Without a second thought, you sealed the deal as you spat his cum into his mouth and kissed him deeply. He was yours now, and so was his clan.

"I love you."

As if you didn't know that already. It's okay, though you'll entertain him.

"Yeah, let's do it again. This time, I'll let you breed me."

Part 2

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #jjk x reader smut #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader smut #gojo satoru x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfic #jjk gojo satoru #jjk gojo #Spotify #sub gojo #sub gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader

[luvfy0dor]

"You Are In Love!!" - BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Fyodor Dostoevsky, Chuuya Nakahara ♡

Warnings; none pure fluff and sweetness

Description; Drabbles (I actively attempted to make these shorter than the timeless ones but I clearly have a yapping issue) of Chuuya and Fyodor based off of You Are in Love by Taylor Swift in honor of 1989 (Taylor's Version) today. This one had a lot of cute little prompts for small scenarios so I thought I'd take the opportunity.

A/n; yawning is contagious you guys I proved it because I wrote about yawning and then I yawned, also I have so many 1989 TV thoughts now so im gonna write them while writing asks at the same time, so im sorry for those of you guys who dont like Taylor, that's totally valid. Hmu w/ music themed requests if you wanna see a different song.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ੈ♡

“Coffee at midnight”

You sat on your boyfriends lap, facing him while he typed away, working on God knows what. You didn't ask what it was at that very moment, too sleepy care. You breathed in his scent, your arms tightly hugged around his torso. Any time he took a break from typing, his left hand immediately went to stroke your back, his lips moving and ghosts of whispers slip out from between them as he read over the text. You nuzzled into his neck, pressing sweet, chaste kisses to his pale skin every now and again.

You were playing with his hair softly when you could hear him yawn. "My dear, do you mind getting up? I'm going to make some coffee for myself." He murmurs, his head turned a bit in your direction. You nod and get off of his lap, standing up and rubbing your eyes a bit. "Yeah, sure, but coffee? It's midnight.." now you were yawning. He nods, standing up and heading straight for the kitchen. You trail behind him, drowsily following along. Luckily, the lights of your kitchen were dimmed rather than being at full brightness. He stood against the counter, starting the coffee machine and grabbing a mug for himself while the drink started to brew.

"Do you want some too?" He asks, noticing your stare before you yourself even could. You shook your head, holding your upper arms for the warmth that Fyodors body had previously been providing to you. You yawned again, making him smile ever so slightly in amusement. You leaned against the counter with your eyes closed, almost starting to nod off. The two minutes it took to make the coffee passed within the blink of an eye, you being woken from your sleepy and dazed state by Fyodors thumb caressing your cheekbone.

"Moya Lyubov, you don't have to stay up with me. I appreciate it, but if you're tired you should sleep." He softly murmurs while looking into your eyes. "No, no, it's fine, don't worry." You say, standing straight up and walking with him back to his little work space. He sat right back down on the chair, opening his arms for you to crawl right back onto him. He sipped on his coffee, and the aroma made you regret your decision to reject a cup for yourself. You moved your head to rest on his shoulder sideways instead of upright so you could get a better look at him while he drank from the ceramic mug.

He glanced at you while he did so, sighing into the glass and handing it to you without even needing to hear anything from your mouth; he just knew you that well. Perhaps it was your predictably, or maybe it was his attentive habits regarding your body language and every expression. You took the mug, bringing it to your lips and drinking a small amount, making sure that you didn't chug it and leave nothing for him. You handed him back the glass, wiping your top lip off before you pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him smile a bit.

"So much for not wanting any, hm?" He teases quietly, leaning his head against yours. You just roll your eyes at him. "Well I changed my mind a little." You mumbled, your hands rubbing up and down his sides gently. Your eyelids felt as if they had weights attached to them as it became harder to keep yourself awake. Fyodor had taken notice of this numerous times, before getting coffee, while getting coffee, and even after you had taken a sip. If the caffeine had any effect on you it clearly was not immediate.

"That's alright, I don't mind sharing it with you." He says quietly. You hum in response as a thank you while you drifted off into a calming sleep. Fyodor noticed you fully knocked out after about a minute or two. He smiled and kissed the side of your head, whispering to you. "Goodnight, my love, sleep well."

Chuuya Nakahara ੈ♡

“You kiss on sidewalks”

You looked up at the stars in the night sky while you walked down the streets of Yokohama with Chuuya. Late night walks were never something you found enjoyment in before Chuuyas presence in your life. Not only did Chuuyas ability and profession absolutely make you feel safer, but he was someone to talk to while you walked. It wasn't silent, but filled with conversation about your day, passions, etc.

His hand was holding yours while he listened to you rambled on about a book you had started reading, explaining the plot to him. Chuuya wasn't an absent listener, he didn't just nod and "ohhh" every now and again, he actually asked questions about it and commented on the actions of characters and what not. Chuuya didn't ramble much, but when he did you offered the same undivided attention. You loved watching his eyes light up whenever he talked about something that excited him; he specifically got riled up about his missions, explaining what he did with as much detail as he was allowed to.

And that's what was happening. You walked along the path, holding your boyfriends hand while he told you about how he acquired a new small cut on his cheek. You asked him about it and he got so worked up, it was almost funny. The amount of slandering he put on the name of some random guy he had to fight was a little much, but it was his opponent and enemy, so you didn't comment on it. His other hand was moving around very quickly while he passionately told you about the encounter, annunciating every word and speaking clearly.

"He was so annoying. Obviously I dealt with him real fast, but now I've got this cut on my face." He says while rolling his eyes. You snicker a little. "Oh yeah, I totally get that. He sounds like he sucks, but I think the scar is kinda hot, to be honest." You laugh, standing in front of him and brushing his bangs out of his eyes. He scoffs and places his hands on your arms. "Ofcourse you do, doll, you're...well, you're you." He says, rubbing your shoulders a bit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows were furrowed as you stare him down. "I know you like the back of my hand, I knew you'd find somethin' like that attractive. It's like, your thing." He says, the street light you stood under casting a yellow glow overtop the two of you. The shadows that projected onto his skin because of the angle hid the blush on his face relatively well. "I pay attention to you, ya know.." he murmurs, making you grin and gently cup his face.

"Oh I know you pay attention to me; everytime you bring up some random small detail about me it makes my heart flutter." You say, looking down at his lips through the black veil of darkness on his face. "I'm glad I can make ya swoon, darlin'.." he mutters, both of you leaning into each other, your hands interlocked and giving each other soft squeezes as your lips gently collided with one another. You pulled away after a couple seconds, but you felt yourself pulled right back in as the two of you softly giggled with one another, his gloved hand pressed against the back of your neck.

Your lips moved against his, soft hums of approval coming from his throat. When you did finally part, the both of you looked into the other's eyes for a second before breaking the stare and grinning. "I love you a whole lot, y'know?" He says, sliding his arm around your waist. You did the same and nodded. "I know, I know. I love you a whole lot, too." You say, kissing his cheek while the two of you walk home to retreat for the night.

A/n; I have a couple of things to say; 1- this is not a theme switch, it's only blue and white for 1989 TV, 2- I know these aren't the most obviously related to the song, but I felt inspired. 3- I was gonna do more characters for this but I don't wanna in this moment, would y'all wanna see that?

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #bsd fanfic #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #fanfic #fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #chuuya #bsd chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bad headcanons #bsd x gender neutral reader #taylor swift #you are in love #1989 taylor's version #1989 tv #inspired

[russellsppttemplates]

So a bit sad ask. Burying your cat, the kids are sad and they are confused why it happened , so the reader and max/george kinda have to explain about what happened (introduction about life and death) , reader is extra sad cause its the cat she know for a long time

I just buried one of the strey cat that stay around my house so.......🙃 Yeahhhh so hug your pet please for meeee

Note: I'm so sorry 🥺 sending you a big big hug ✨️

Cw: death of a pet (cat), mentions burial and talking to kids about death

"I'm afraid, but there's nothing we can do", the vet said as you and Max sighed, stroking Jimmy's fur as he laid down on his carrier, cuddled up to the blanket. The cat hadn't been behaving like he usually does, and after the kids pointed out the same, you took him to the vets. After a couple of scans and tests, they told you the worst news you expected to hear.

After prescribing medications to keep him comfortable at home, you took your four pawed child home, your hand in Max's thigh as he drove while he rubbed the top of your palm with his thumb, "want to share what's on your mind?", you mumbled.

"It's... I knew this would happen someday, but it's sad still", Max spoke after gathering his thoughts for a bit, "I know, I feel the same. At least he can be home with us, and he won't be in pain", you attempted at lightning the mood.

When you woke up to Sassy tapping the duvet, your heart squeezed as you shook your husband awake, "Max", you called as he noticed the scene, knowing why you woke him up before the alarm. In their cat beds, Jimmy laid perfectly still, no other movements other than Sassy meowing and trying to get him to move by touching his nose.

You brought them downstairs, preparing the spot in the garden once the kids woke up, "I'm sad, mama", Finn finally spoke as Julia stayed in Max's lap, her little hand clutching his t-shirt as she cried quietly.

"It's okay to feel sad, my love, and to cry, too", you explained, "everything you feel is valid, okay? And we are all here to go through this together", you smiled sadly, Max squeezing your hand in his.

"Why does this happen?", Julia asked honestly, "we'll, princess, this is a part of life. Jimmy got to live many, many years with us - he was a lot older than you and Finn - and now he got sick. He was in a little bit of pain, that's why me and mama gave the medications. And he got to be very loved for all of it", Max tried his best to explain to the little girl, "it's not fair", she chirped in, "I know, Julia", he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Is Sassy going to die, too?", Finn spoke up, his mind taking him one step further as Julia looked up at her parents so she could hear the answer, "one day, yes. The doctor said we don't have anything to worry about, Sassy is very healthy and should have some healthy years left. But yes, it will happen", you explained.

"Well", Finn said as he pushed Sassy closer to the four of you, "when we're going to continue to love you so wo so much, Sassy", he declared.

After saying one last goodbye in the garden, you and Max prepared a little station so the kids could make a scrapbook, using the small printer to print out photos of the best memories you had with Jimmy, "is this me?", Julia asked at the picture where the cats where smelling the new baby, "That's Finn, actually, it was the first day we brought him home. When we brought you home, the cats were so excited we didn't even take a picture of the first time you met them, but this one here is you", you grabbed it, showing her a picture of her taking a nap with the cats around her, "I was so tiny", she commented.

"This was the day Jimmy accidentally fell in the pool", Finn showed Max, who was glueing down the last sticker down on the page, giggling as the memory came up, "he had to swim to the edge and mama helped him out, he even scratched her hand, remember?", he recalled before showing it to Julia, "you were little still, but you should've seen him! He just swam as hard as he could!".

When Max put the kids to bed, he found you sitting against the headboard of your bed, Sassy on your lap and your hands stroking the soft fur, stopping when the wiped your cheeks, "hey, liefje", Max said, taking off his t-shirt and climbing next to you as you cuddled his naked torso as Sassy went back to the cat bed, "they're the first cats I truly cared over - you know my family are mostly dog people - and it's sad", you pouted, "remember when he kept biting my ankles when I first came over to your flat?", you giggled as Max did the same, "yes! I was so embarrassed because I thought you'd never want to come back", Max added, "Oh, so many memories with that little fur ball".

(Thank you for your submission ✨️)

#max verstappen blurb #inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb #f1 x reader

[beautifulhigh]

It just occurred to me that the polo scene doesn't get much love as it should. I know it's very short but just the thirst in Alex’s eyes, the way you can see his mouth dry while watching Henry ride that horse and his oh so sexy smile. I feel like that scene required a major dissection, and no one does it better so I came calling.

You know what? I'm doing this one now. I know I said I would do a meta on Henry Fox and I would do a meta on the New Year's Eve party but this is in my inbox now and yeah, let's talk about the polo scene.

(I'm also doing this now so I don't have another thing on my To Do pile, and your kind words made my shitty day a little better so thank you.)

Short scene, not a short meta.

In the book when he and Henry are in his bedroom, Alex has this little moment of clouds parting, sun beaming, angels chorus revelation:

In an instant of sudden, vivid clarity, he can’t believe he ever thought he was straight.

And while movie!Alex doesn't have the same bi awakening that book!Alex does. this is very much his moment of "oh I am very not straight at all" and that is valid of him.

(As this is a Jen meta, we shall also be talking about everything else because you do not analyse a text in isolation.)

This interview talks about the editing of the polo match:

Nick [Moore], my new editor coming in, took a look and he says, “I wanna try something with that polo match.” He spent a weekend of his own time doing something, and then he was ready to show me. He sat me down and said, “I’ve done something crazy.”

And we went from filmed scripted scenes and a lead in, to "bagpipes intensify" and it works SO well for where these boys are in this new stage of their relationship.

Our establishing shots are of the teams, the horses, the uniforms. This is Henry's world and Alex is about to step into it (which is a reversal of Henry at the NYE party - I swear I will write that meta once I have all the gif posts I want to link to) and it's all quick cuts and sharp transitions and moving shots. The pace has been set for Alex to enter.

We pick him out in the crowd but he's lost as quickly as we spot him. He's one of many here and it's all too quick to stay with him.

Firstly, you will never convince me that he didn't pick the tightest trousers he could find. Henry's comment about him being a mouthful is foreshadowed, right there.

ANYWAY

He walks in, he's looking around, he's doing up his jacket as a form of protection. Alex is the proverbial fish out of the proverbial water (and I have a meta about water if you're interested) and we're straight back in with the quick edits. Horses, polo sticks, this is not a game most people know how to play. Alex certainly doesn't. He's doing up his jacket and he is uncomfortable.

He is not a stranger to a suit, and that is certainly not something that is ill fitting. It is circumstance, not clothing.

And then we get our first clear shot of Henry. Only it's not clear, not at first. He literally comes into focus.

Stick aloft, mouth open, like he's a walking riding metaphor.

And Alex's face changes.

Yeah. He is definitely not straight.

From then on we stay with Henry. We, in Alex's viewpoint, have found him. And so we track Henry through the game and it's just generic horse legs if we're looking at anything else. The only player we/Alex see is Henry.

Here, Henry is leading. Going in first, checking it's clear, knowing Alex will follow him. Henry leads, Alex follows. Into the garden, into the bed, into the sexual component of their relationship. Alex admits to Henry right from the start that this is new to him:

“I’ve, uh,” Alex begins. “I’ve never actually done this before.” “Alex,” Henry says, reaching down to stroke at Alex’s hair, “you don’t have to, I’m—” “No, I want to,” Alex says, tugging at Henry’s waistband. “I just need you to tell me if it’s awful.” Henry is speechless again, looking as if he can’t believe his fucking luck. “Okay. Of course.”

When it comes to being with a man? Henry leads, Alex follows.

And then the pacing and editing kicks off. We intercut to the tempo of the bagpipes between the match and the hook up and Henry is leading the charge on both.

He's in charge and Alex is LOVING it:

Turns out being on the receiving end of Henry’s royal authority is an extreme fucking turn-on.

This is risky and the most dangerous thing they have done so far. Amy walking in on them in the Red Room is one thing - book!Alex is VERY thankful for the staff NDAs when it comes to what they know about him and Henry - but neither of them care here. And Alex is very much letting Henry take the lead and set the pace.

Which, given how long Henry has wanted Alex, wanted this, and how he's not able to live and love (at this point) as openly as Alex is, giving Henry this control means that not only can Alex continue his education in this mlm era of his life, but he's giving Henry all of the freedom he can. God Bless America or something.

We intercut the make out scene with shots of things being hit, the hard slamming of one thing against another, of riders in saddles. The hands may be a metaphor for sex in the Paris scene but we have it here as well.

Alex is fully on board by this point and he's not letting Henry set the full agenda. In his White House bedroom we got the scene of Henry going down on Alex (and there is no way that it was a one-way exchange given how long they were there) so now? It's his turn.

My favourite editing choice?

We then cut to Henry's arse bouncing in that saddle. If the Paris scene is making love? This is them fucking. Henry is bouncing away, riding for all he's worth, chasing down his singular aim with precision and determination.

It's innuendo at its finest.

I love this shot. We're looking up at them - we're just like Alex who is now looking up at Henry due to his new vantage point (#NoLongerTaller) - and we see Alex is fully crowding up into Henry's space. And they are right by the door. There is no cover, no escape. Anyone coming in has fully caught them. Please let there be a PPO or a Secret Service be just outside. Please. For their sanity if not mine.

But even if there isn't for some insane reason, they don't care. They are so lost in each other, so caught up in this moment, that they aren't FSOTUS and the Prince Of Wales. They aren't boys with status and expectations. They're just two consenting adults who are testing the boundaries of what public indecency actually means.

They are really going for it now. Henry's arm is tensed with the effort of keeping Alex close, his hand is splayed on Henry's back to give him contact with more of him. They are not letting go. Diving all in like it's a nod to the Olympic event where they met in the book.

And when they come up for air it's because Alex is... well... about to go diving.

Those fingers make VERY quick work of the belt and what he is doing with his hands and those fingers is further evidence in the "this is them fucking" category.

And then the frame which I'm guessing inspired Cordelia's ask to me:

LOOK AT THAT FACE. Look at those fucking eyelashes. But Alex is wanting and he is wanting hard for Henry. Pun intended. He's got a plan for this, he's got a To Do list for those Very Bad Things he promised/threatened Henry with all those weeks ago.

And it will have been weeks. The State Dinner was around February time based on the texts (end of January at the latest) and then Henry says the polo match is "next month" (which would put it end of February, early March because we would not say 'next month' if it were next week, regardless of when the month starts) and so it's been weeks since they hooked up in Alex's room. Weeks of having to just text and email and maybe venture into video calls.

None of that would compare to being together.

This is the first time that Alex has gotten his hands on Henry since his bedroom and he's desperate to get more than his hands on him.

And this shot as Alex pulls Henry's trousers down is fucking pornographic. Matthew López, did you direct Nick to act like this or was it his choice? Go watch his expression as Alex is pulling the offending clothing out of the way and tell me that this isn't pornographic.

And then we cut to the not-at-all subtle shot of Henry well, making the shot. With ease and power and the ball shooting out of frame. Something something orgasm metaphor something release.

There's even a little wisp as he makes the shot. If this post isn't flagged for mature content I'll be surprised.

Next shot?

Congrats on not getting caught, on the sex, on the most smut-filled-while-almost-fully-clothed-sex scene I've ever had the joy of frame-by-framing through.

Alex is doing up his tie again but he's not uncomfortable. And Henry is so fucking happy I could cry. Because he just hooked up with this guy, in semi-public, and got away with it. They are firmly in Henry's world here, a world where he can't be out and proud, and he got to have something he wanted. And, maybe crucially, no one knows about it. His privacy is intact.

But more importantly, this thing he's got with Alex is something. It's not a one night stand. Alex came here specifically for him, because he asked him to. Because Alex wanted to see him, be with him. This wasn't an obligation, this wasn't something set up by anyone for show and to do damage control. This was for them, and them alone.

Look at these smug bastards. Look at them. Gettin' their rocks off and making puns about being hungry and eating like they didn't just devour each other.

BUT

I gotta bring the feels here 'cause it's me.

Henry attended the State dinner because he was expected to, because that was in place before the New Year's kiss. It was an obligation and in both the movie and the book he had been ghosting Alex. And then Alex grabbed him in the Red Room and they hooked up and at the end of that scene Henry nervously asks Alex if he wants to be his guest at the polo event. Alex doesn't actually say yes - he says he doesn't know how to play polo, there's a comment about it being safer if he's on the sidelines - but leaving aside any fear that he would stand Henry up this is the first time they have made plans with the intention of seeing each other, of being together in this way.

This is, for want of a better term, kinda like a date.

Alex turned up, Henry put out, and they're very much committing to seeing where this path will take them. (Forever. It'll take them to forever.)

Alex isn't straight, Henry is very much in love, and they're embracing that giddy phase of a relationship where you just can't keep your hands off each other. And we fade from this to Paris where they're on another kind of date and then there's another kind of sex scene and it's a speedrun of their relationship on screen like they weren't indulging in foreplay with all the text flirting.

Which, by the way, don't think I didn't notice that Henry's jersey number was 4. Four-play indeed.

(Thanks for this, Cordelia, I needed something like this to soothe my brain.)

#jen answers stuff #i-cordelia #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #prince henry of wales #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince meta #overthinking jen is overthinking #rwrb #otp: history huh #long post

[yzy-dragon]

I absolutely ADORED S2E9 "Three Stories" of Link Click and was a bit surprised to see the discontent here on Tumblr, and I totally understand the reasons why people didn't like it, especially in the context of the pacing of the rest of S2 (which I also have some opinions on but I won't talk about that here), but I also felt the need to just get my heart out why I love it so much. A bit of background, I'm Chinese American but have lived in and visited China numerous times.

Music and theater. As a western classical musician and an amateur Chinese opera singer enthusiast (I saw someone else post about the possible inspo this episode got from Chinese opera), I VIBED with the artistic direction of this episode SO much. The three-part structure was almost like a sonata/symphony (and remember that one scene where Qian Jin was air-conducting in a previous episode!!) or scene changes in a Chinese opera. Nothing needs to be said about the animation style that hasn't been said already, but I like how scenes from the three individual "stories" were interwoven and reused like leitmotifs. Especially that crazy, tortured laughter. Idk if any of the parallels were intentional on the part of the director, but it's what I got from it due to my personal experiences. I know that's a highly subjective takeaway though, which brings me to my next point....

Qian Jin's "tragic" backstory. I know a lot of people were upset that the extent of Qian Jin's tragic backstory was "oh his wife cheated on him", but I think the "basicness" of his struggles was the whole point (by the way, this segment displayed various attitudes towards work, family, marriage, individual pride, and life in mainland China so subtly but so well!). I also don't think sympathy was the main thing we were supposed to feel for him, although of course there is some. The whole "tragicomedy" aspect of Qian Jin's story is that it's not some horrible, terrible, rare thing that happened to him, but a common problem faced by so many hardworking but busy married men trying to provide for their families: infidelity. But Qian Jin sees himself as the main character of an elaborate play that rivals the great dramatic classics (which, funnily enough, often depicted very DRAMATIZED versions of a rather basic series of events). And his viewpoint is validated when....

Qian Jin meets the twins. That segment is still largely from Qian Jin's perspective, because we still don't really know how LTC and LTX even feel about him. But for Qian Jin, it's a stroke of fate and fortune that could only possibly happen in theater. He's very far removed from reality at this point. Reality is that a cop whose job it is to investigate violent crime comes across two kids who are the victims of a violent crime. Again, nothing particularly special or even coincidential. It's comical like that.

The fairy tale section.  Unlike the first two, I think this segment is from Xixi’s perspective, which not only justifies the cartoony artstyle but also makes it heartbreaking, due to her childlike innocence.  Like Qian Jin, she also perceives her reality as something it’s not, but unlike him, she doesn’t have delusions of grandeur of being a tragic protagonist.  It’s just a little fox trying to survive in a forest full of predators and hunters.  

All that tortured laughter. I’ve actually noticed in a lot of Chinese media that they like to use laughter as a way of signifying a person’s complete mental breakdown due to the tragedies they’ve suffered.  It’s a very internal thing that has people on the outside going, “WTF?”  In this episode we have a lot of characters crazily laughing together at the same time and it seems like they’re relating to each other, but in reality they’re all trapped in their own nightmarish hells and motivated by selfish purposes. 

Back to the topic of Qian Jin, even though he (innaccurately) may see himself as the hero of his own story, it's not enough for him. He wants to use Cheng Xiaoshi to change the past. He wants to become the director of the play.

I know a lot of people were disappointed this episode didn't advance the plot, especially in regard to Cheng Xioashi and Lu Guang's storylines, but I was actually prepared for a backstory episode and couldn't have been more satisfied. Again, I have other opinions on the rest of S2 but at least standalone, I think this episode was nearly perfect. And I really wasn't expecting this, but it's really elevated Qian Jin to one of my top characters.

#link click #shiguang daili ren #long post #link click season 2 #qian jin #li tianchen #li tianxi #cheng xiaoshi #lu guang #most artistic episode #I stan!

[homelanderbutbig]

Tell Me What You Need (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1237 words. Hurt/comfort and fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Established relationship.

You've had a bad day, and Homelander is baffled at how to comfort you. Inspired by this ask.

Homelander is restlessly tapping his fingers on the couch while he waits for you to come to his penthouse, and you're already later than usual. Although he would never describe himself as such, he is very much a creature of habit. He anticipates that you will get off work at the same time every day, and swiftly head up the elevator back to his waiting arms. The odd time you are even a few minutes late is enough to put him in a mood, requiring a heavy dose of cuddles for him to forgive your 'transgression'.

Impatiently, he rolls his eyes and huffs as he finally hears your heartbeat approaching the penthouse. He expects an excellent reason for you keeping him waiting, as well as some heartfelt head scratches to make this up to him.

However, this displeasure hastily evaporates when you get off the elevator. With his X-ray vision, he can see that you have been holding back tears, but you are still doing your best to keep your composure. He straightens his posture as you wipe your watery eyes and head into the living room.

Homelander stares as you silently walk up to the oversized couch, using the steps he had installed to climb up and sit down beside him. While you are doing your best to hide your emotions, you can't conceal the thumps of your rapid pulse or the smell of your cortisol hormones spiking from stress.

"Something the matter?" he inquires, trying to be polite even though it's already obvious to him.

"I… I just had a bad day at work," you sigh, finally let go of the day's pressures. Tears begin streaming down your face as you wrap your arms around your sides. "I'm sorry."

Without a word he looks down at you, watching you cry. You have never displayed any amount of sadness in front of him before, and he is confounded at how exactly to provide you with some form of security right now. Usually, he's the one that requires the daily validation. He's never had to be the one to initiate comfort.

"There… uh… there there," Homelander says, gently patting your thigh as you've done to him when he's upset. Mentally, he's running through everything you do for him, but he is struggling to think of what you would do in this situation.

"Is there… something I can do to make you feel better?" he asks, lightly petting your knee with his thumb. When you don't respond, he exhales a flustered breath. "Just, tell me what you need… please". His brow furrows in frustration, not from you but from himself. This feeling of uselessness is not one he experiences often, and right now seeing you like this is causing this sentiment to be tenfold.

Turning your gaze up at Homelander, you can see the internal battle he is fighting in his mind, all over you. In any other situation, seeing him so shook up over not knowing what to do would make you smile at his childlike awkwardness. But right now, there is something deeply heartwarming about how much he cares for your wellbeing, even if he doesn't know how to express it.

You practically throw yourself into Homelander's wide chest, desperate for one of his warm, cozy hugs. At first this unexpected embrace takes him by surprise, but he quickly envelops you in his big arms, petting your head with his fingers. Despite breathing a sigh of relief at you taking control, he does his best to keep up his self-confidence that this was what he intended. You always do so much for him, like it's instinctual. Just once he wants to show you that he can do the same.

Carefully, he adjusts himself to lay down across the couch, keeping you snuggled safe on his chest. His head his positioned against the armrest, giving him the perfect view of you in his arms. While stroking your back, he is racing through his thoughts of what to do next. Listening to your weepy sniffles makes him feel more stressed, like he can't even do a simple hug correctly. He wants to relieve your depression, and prove himself to you so badly.

Suddenly, something sparks inside him, a memory of you that Homelander deeply cherishes. He recalls the way you draw on his palm with your fingers, feeling your touches so filled with love. It's always pained him not to be able to do the same on your small hand with his immense fingers. However, he realizes your back is a big enough canvas for him.

Using his index finger, he starts doodling along your back. He's not an artist by any means, yet he manages a basic stick figure cat. At first you seem confused at what he's doing, but pride swells through his heart when he hears you giggle faintly.

"Is that a cat?" you ask, tilting your head up to catch a glimpse of Homelander's smile. Your body shakes as he chuckles at your question, easing his own anxiety at the sight of you beginning to relax.

"Yeah," he replies, showing off his fangs while he beams down at you. "Good guess."

Homelander continues drawing various animals on your back, his toothy grin getting wider each time you correctly figure out his makeshift creations. Considering that his hands are too large to hold regular writing instruments, he's only ever used the pens Vought made specifically for his size to sign autographs or important documents. He's never thought himself to have any degree of artistic talent, but there's an unfamiliar feeling of assurance growing within him.

As apprehensive as it makes him to try new things he worries he won't get perfect immediately, there is a satisfying sense of accomplishment that you can figure out his crude doodles. It makes him want to draw for you more often, so you can continue to be proud of his art. Perhaps he needs to get Ashley to have some colourful markers made for him. His fridge has always looked bare.

After a time, Homelander stops doodling on your back and resumes just holding you, internally gratified at how he was able to successfully comfort you, all on his own. He could stay like this for the rest of the night, totally content at his handywork.

Meanwhile, you are resisting the urge to fall asleep, taken in by the warmth of his embrace and softness of his cushioned suit. But you know you aren't going to be leaving this snuggle session anytime soon, so you accept that it's not worth fighting your body anymore.

"Thank you Homelander," you yawn, closing your eyes as you nuzzle your head deeper into his padded chest. You can sense his arms wrapping around you like a weighted blanket, with just enough pressure to make you feel safe and protected.

 "I'm glad I could help," he replies, treasuring the trust you have in him to doze off in his arms.

For the first time in your relationship, he feels that he has returned the same level of care you give to him every day. He's always longed to show you how much he appreciates everything you do for him, the way you effortlessly soothe his fears and anxieties. The pride of knowing he is capable of, well, being able to form a normal connection with someone is immeasurable.

"You can depend on me too."

#the boys #the boys tv #homelander #homelander x reader #g/t #size difference #my writing

[httpskuzuu]

Handsome boyfriend

here in spain it's 5 am and I should be sleeping

anyway, here I made the reader's gender expression male, but always remember that you are valid, no matter how masculine or feminine you look 👍

Dazai x Ftm!Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

tw: transphobia on the part of parents, gender dysphoria, reader's gender expression male

Dazai was not an idiot, he had noticed from the beginning that you were not comfortable being a cisgender girl.

He noticed from your first interaction, you treated yourself with male pronouns and when Dazai also treated you by those same pronouns you seemed so happy, as if it was the first time someone referred to you correctly.

He didn't mention anything about it, he understood that you were strangers and that if you hadn't told him from the beginning, he wasn't anyone to be nosy.

As your relationship grew, he noticed how you looked at yourself in the mirror with a disgusted expression, how you sometimes did exercises to make your voice more masculine and how in your last Google searches there were things related to the topic of starting a transition as a trans person.

When you started dating, he thought you would talk to him and tell him everything that was on your mind, but you never did. He himself tried to bring up the topic of conversation regarding the trans community, but you always refused to talk about it and seemed uncomfortable, so he didn't push you anymore.

He decided it was best for you to take the first step one day, one day like today.

It was in night, Dazai couldn't sleep because of his insomnia, and you should be at your parents' house.

He saw your number appear on his cell phone screen, he knew from that moment on that something wasn't right. As much as you might have trouble sleeping, you didn't usually stay awake at a late hour like this, let alone call him.

"Hey Belladonna! What are you doing up at this hour, uhm?"

The first thing he heard on the other end was a suppressed sob from you, that's what confirmed that something was wrong.

"Hey, darling, what's wrong?" He used the most reassuring tone she could and hid his concern.

"Uhm, Dazai, can I come to your place...? Please..." It was obvious from your voice that you were crying, so broken and weak, that Dazai was almost heartbroken to hear you.

"What happened? I don't know if you should come, it's too late, something might happen to you, do you want me to come to your place better?"

"No, no, I'm not at home, I, uhm, I know it's late, but I don't have anywhere else to stay."

He was quiet for a moment, thinking about what you had just said, worst case scenarios came to his mind.

"Yeah, sure, you can come" He was going to ask if he could come to where you were and at least walk together, but you quickly mumbled a 'Thank you.' And you hung up.

He just sat there on the futon with his cell phone in his hand, thinking about what the fuck had happened to you.

Within 10 minutes there was a knock on his door and when he opened it he saw you, with wet cheeks and watery eyes, you had a backpack on your back.

Two details of your appearance caught his attention: you were wearing baggy clothes, he could recognize that you were wearing a T-shirt that he himself gave you days ago, it was not usual for you, since you always wore clothes considered "feminine". The other detail was your hair, your long mane was now gone, you wore your hair short and somewhat badly cut, a sign that you probably cut it yourself.

Before you could speak, you dropped on Dazai's figure and hugged him tightly as you cried into his chest.

"Hey, hey, will you tell me what happened?" he tried to reassure you by placing one of his hands on your back and the other on his head, stroking your hair. "You've had a makeover, I see." He said with a smile.

"Dazai, I'm a trans guy, is that okay? Are you still my boyfriend?" He knew you were, but was surprised by your last question: didn't you know he would love you no matter who you are?

"Of course I'll still be your boyfriend, I love you and I don't care what you are as long as you're comfortable. If you're a boy that's perfect, you will still be my handsome boyfriend."

Dazai put his hands on your tearful cheeks and made you separate your face from his chest, so you could look at him. He wiped away your falling tears with his thumbs and gave you a reassuring smile.

You felt the weight on your shoulders disappear. He accepted you, Dazai accepted you, it felt so good to know that. You cried harder.

"Let's go inside, okay? And then we can talk more comfortably."

He moved his hand to your waist and guided you inside his house, to the couch. He sat you there and gave you a kiss on your forehead. "I'll get you some tea, don't move." After that in no time you were alone again.

You wiped your tears as best you could and thought about everything that happened: you had a fight with your parents, they always insisted that you be as feminine as possible, but you couldn't anymore, you weren't comfortable. You decided to cut your hair in a fit of dysphoria and when they saw you they got angry, you tried to explain and tell them the truth about your gender, but as soon as they heard you the house became a place full of screams, and finally they threw you out of the house, saying they never wanted to see you again. Your parents themselves rejected you, that was so painful, how could they reject the person they share blood with just because of their gender identity? You didn't understand.

A hand on your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts, there stood Dazai, a worried expression implanted on his face, but as soon as he saw you snap out of your trance he smiled at you. "Ah, you got a little lost in your thoughts, didn't you?" Dazai passed the cup of tea to your hands and you thanked him with a trembling voice.

You took a few sips of the tea as you tried to relax and set it down on the table.

He sat down next to you and put his arm around your shoulders. "Well, will you tell me what happened?"

You let out a sigh and prepared to speak. "My parents always wanted a girly girl and I tried to be one, tried to make them happy, but-" And just like that you cried again. Dazai stayed by your side, giving you support and comfort, it was nice to have your boyfriend by your side. "I couldn't hide this anymore, I wasn't happy.... When they saw me with my hair like that and telling them I was a boy they kicked me out of the house."

You snuggled weakly against Dazai's chest, you were so tired. You really needed this hug.

"Please, Belladonna, don't listen to whatever they said. If they don't let you be happy just the way you are, it's best to stay away from them" You closed your eyes and melted at his words, he was right, he was always right. "You can stay with me as long as you wish, my house is always open for you."

Dazai moved closer to your face and started leaving kisses all over, you laughed through your tears, it did tickle a little. He stopped, and you stared at each other for a few moments until he moved closer and kissed your lips.

"Let's go to sleep, is that okay?" you nodded and let Dazai guide you to the futon where he slept. Dazai always kept one of his hands on your waist, encircling you and giving you comfort.

He helped you lie down on the futon and sat next to you, not lying down yet. He stroked your hair, and you just closed your eyes, relaxing in Dazai's presence.

You finally accepted yourself, and Dazai also accepted you, that was enough to make you feel happy.

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd dazai #dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #ftm reader #male reader

[shina913]

Nothing | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Rating: PG-15; SFW

Genre: Established relationship; slice of life; just tooth-rotting fluff

Warnings: Some cussing

Word count: 639 words

Summary: Based on @novelbear 's writing prompt: "brushing their hair for them and smiling fondly as they just ramble about their day"

A/N: Yes, I'm still suffering from Yoongi brain rot. Also, thanks to Sim @/itdoesntmatterwhy and her "I want to cuddle with Yoongi" scenario, spurred by this photo. Happy to 🤡 around with you for this! The title is from Bruno Major's song of the same name, also tagging you, Miks @/miksancheese because we both love Bruno Major LOL

Just as you settle in for a quiet reading session, the tell-tale grinding of the garage door opening interrupts you. You remain on the couch, having received a text from Yoongi minutes ago letting you know he's on his way home after working overtime. You've already warmed up his dinner and left it on the counter for him to dig in.

A minute later, you hear the garage door close, followed by some muffled thumps by the doorway, where he takes his shoes off before entering.

"Hey, babe," you call over your shoulder once you hear the door latch click.

"Hi," he half-mumbles and grunts back. It's his sixth day working this week, and he's exhausted.

"I made you a plate, and there's some beer—" you say, but he barely lets you finish your sentence before flopping onto the couch. He gently nudges your free hand out of the way before proceeding to make himself comfortable on your lap. He lets out a long, deep sigh.

You stare at him comically. "Uhm... hi," you say to him with a soft chuckle.

He lets out another grunt, his long hair in a messy heap.

You put your book down and carefully brush the strands off him to reveal his beautiful face. His eyes are shut, but you can see a hint of a frown. He must have had a rough day, you think to yourself.

You playfully run your fingertip over the crease between his brows in an attempt to flatten it.

"So, how was your day?" You keep your tone light because you know your question will trigger Yoongi to vent about how one colleague screwed up and another had no idea what they were doing, leaving Yoongi to clean up the whole mess.

“Fuck, man,” he groans. "I knew today was going to be a cluster, but I had no idea it would be this bad." He goes on a rant about his two incompetent colleagues who should retire to make room for new people with fresh ideas.

As he angrily rambles about work, you run your hands through his hair, gently applying pressure to his scalp with every pass. Whenever he pauses, you ask follow-up questions, and his tone noticeably softens as he answers.

You nod and hum, validating his frustration with his coworkers. Slowly but surely, you feel the agitation in his voice dissipate with each stroke of your fingertips.

By the end of his venting, he tilts his chin up toward you and gently brushes your jawline with his thumb. "I'm sorry. I just went on and on about my day and forgot to ask you about yours."

"S’okay," you say, leaning into his touch. "My sister hung out for a bit before going out to dinner with Jae. I just kind of lazed around after that."

“Mm,” he hums noncommittally.

He shifts enough to reach over the coffee table and pick up the remote that controls your living room sound system. Mumbling something into the built-in microphone, he prompts it to play some lo-fi tracks.

“Aren’t you hungry? Why don’t you go eat?” you offer.

“Maybe later. I’m comfy here,” he replies. He readjusts himself on the couch and takes one of your hands, bringing it in front of him to brush the tip of his nose against your skin before he kisses it.

“Alright,” you giggle before taking your book and picking up where you left off before Yoongi pleasantly invaded your personal space.

A few seconds later, you lean over and call his name a few times, but he responds with a couple of deep, throaty snores. You smile, content with the fact that you'll be spending another night curled up on the couch with him. At this rate, you might as well sell your bed.

Nothing Masterlist | Main Fic Masterlist

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy @yoongukie-ff @miksancheese

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi fluff #bts fanfiction #min yoongi #bts fluff #bts min yoongi #bts yoongi #myg fluff #nothing x myg

[saintjosie]

I'm gonna jump in the discourse lol, I don't pass as a trans woman and I don't think I'll care to. But demilypyro was advocating for living as your best self, she happens to be in a country that funded her transition? But other than that she's like poor too. Idk it feels like everyone's just looking for trouble because she was responding to hate with snark

okay people really don’t get this so i’m gonna tell y’all a story. my story.

i’m a trans woman with a fuckload of privilege. i’m pretty, i’m passing, and i have a platform, but most importantly, i had the privilege of starting my transition when i was financially stable on my own in largely supportive environments. and i recognize these things now but i didn’t always.

i started my transition in may of 2020, during the height of lockdown. and at that time, i was working a cushy corporate salaried desk job with full benefits which included both therapy and gender affirming care. i got on hrt quickly, and because of good genes, because masculine asian features are regarded as feminine in western beauty standards, because i’m really fucking good at makeup, and because i was working from home and there was no where to go, i was able to stop boymoding by october of 2020, about 6 months after i started hrt.

and then around that same time, i had another stroke of luck. i made a tiktok about coming out at work, which i did in the most extra way imaginable, and that tiktok went viral. it got 300k views and overnight i went from having 150 followers on tiktok to several thousand. and a less than a year later, that grew to 100k.

that year was rough as hell. i transitioned during a time where going out into the world to find community was impossible. and i lost my job. and i got divorced. and i cut out my family. and because of all of that, i felt like i was doing better than a lot of other trans people. cause i was facing hardships and still doing incredible.

but even so, i was longing for community that would validate and accept me the way that i was validated and accepted online. and so over the next year, i moved across the country three times, something i was able to do only because i was able to afford it

during that year i finally started to get out and meet queer people as the pandemic slowed down. and as i connected with queer and trans people in varying stages on their own journey, i realized the enormous privilege of being able to transition, afford therapy, afford my meds, afford moving to a place where i could find community. i wasn’t just “better at being trans”, i was just luckier than most.

being able to accept being trans is so dependent on having the support structure around you to process what you are feeling. being able to socially transition is dependent on having the people around you who will accept your identity and being in a place where you are able to do so safely. being able to medically transition is dependent on having the physical health and financial stability to do so.

privilege is something that needs to be constantly dismantled within our community because privilege is the main weapon that is used to oppress us.

the fact that this demily person made a snide sarcastic comment doesn’t change the fact that she sought out a person without a following to shit on someone without a following. the inherent privilege of saying something like, “i’m better at being trans” even if she didn’t mean it seriously, shows that she doesn’t recognize the privilege of being in a place where you can learn to accept yourself.

and on top of all that because she’s a person with a following and a platform, the danger of that kind of thinking compounds and is worth calling out.

i’m not misunderstanding her intentions or the context.

you are misunderstanding privilege.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

You think Roop won’t even begin? What about all the articles on all the potential merch it will sell? **snickers** I’ve never seen a brand launch without any product!

Roop, and Meghan, has potential.

Meghan has always had the potential to be a success. She's focused, dedicated, and ambitious enough to be successful. I mean, the lady went from an unknown D-List cable TV actress to the fiancee of a British prince in 12 months. That takes serious focus and dedication. Especially considering that they spent much of those 12 months apart from each other (again, according to their own PR).

(It's 12 months if you take Sussex PR at their word - they met in July 2016 and Meghan was leaking/hinting they were engaged in July 2017).

Meghan's problem is that she's obsessed with immediate gratification. Part of it is how she was spoiled by her father growing up. By all accounts from Sam and the Toms, Tom Sr gave Meghan everything she wanted when she wanted it, which led to an expectation in her adulthood that "what Meghan wants, Meghan gets" -- and for the most part, that expectation was validated. She married a producer, she got a cable network show. She posted on social media, and the likes, shares, reposts, and mentions start growng immediately. She wanted luxury travel, she got it comped by Soho House. She wanted Harry to prove how much he loved her, he blew up protocol and wrote a love letter on KP stationery. So on.

Meghan doesn't understand that real success takes time. It's the core root of her problem with the UK and the BRF. She expected everything immediately and was immediately offended when everyone told her (and showed her) that it doesn't work like that. It never has. It never will. So she did the only thing she knew how to do: throw a tantrum nasty enough that the BRF/UK will give in and do what she wants...because it's worked in the past. It worked with Tom Sr. It worked with Trevor. It worked with Harry. It worked (partially) with the press. Rinse and repeat for six years and here we are with Roop.

I've gotten way off-tangent here. Anyway, the point is that Meghan expects instant immediate gratification on everything and anything she does that she can't fathom the idea, or the responsibility, of follow-through.

But she can follow through when it's her own ass on the line. She followed through with marrying Harry, despite how vicious the cyberbullying and media harassment was (per her own PR). She followed through with Megxit, despite a pandemic that drastically and rapidly altered the world as we knew it. She followed through with the Oprah interview on Prince Philip's deathbed. She followed through on "Kate the Racist Royal" narrative despite zero evidence. She followed through on earning Prince/Princess titles for her irrelevant children. She followed through on merchandizing the Sussex brand, despite the Sandringham Agreement.

If she applied that same dedication and that same focus to Roop, it can be successful. Will it, though?

I'm skeptical. Meghan's (and Harry's) own track record shows that the only follow-through they have is in doing photoshoots that lets them take credit for everyone else's work.

So if Roop ends up being more like Invictus Games or Clevr - where Meghan gets paid to be in their social media posts and shake hands with fans at the farmer's markets - the fighting chances are much, much better once they have a product. (And the lackluster reception for Meghan's vanity video should make it clear now that they need real product, not just Meghan's existence.) Because the actual team can fudge the data and stroke her ego to keep her unaware of what's really happening.

But if Roop ends up being more like Pearl or British Vogue - where she's closely involved in the day-to-day management/oversight - there's absolutely no chance. Even with the most gamechanging product in the world, Roop is going to fizzle faster than Blake Lively's attempt did. Because Meghan wants immediate gratification and when she doesn't see those results after one hour of product launch, she's going to take it out on people. In fact we're already seeing this, when she threw Mandana under the bus in the Page Six story.

Unfortunately, I think Roop is going to be a situation more of the latter, since we're already seeing that. And, as everyone has pointed out, it does Meghan absolutely no good to have launched the brand without any tangible product. Even if all she had was a newsletter (like Goop/Gwyneth Paltrow did) or a premiere date for her Martha Stewart show.

So TL;DR - Roop has the potential to be a success but it depends on Meghan and

#ask #brf #sussexes #theories

[crescenthoax]

a nightmare before Christmas • pt3

🎄or an Annika, Floris, Willa and targtowers Christmas tale🌟

Part one

Part two

Parth three

Summary: Aemond, Daeron, Aegon and Helaena had different things planned for Christmas, but one same fate: their father’s old cabin.

Basically an i’m never gonna love again christmas modern AU because we need to spread some joy on these times and I wanted to write something fun. Mainly centred around Aegon x Female OC.

This is part 3/3.

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

Floris looks at Annika, tucked under the sheets of Helaena's enormous bed, clinging to them as if they shield her from the outside world. “I can't believe you're not coming to the Christmas Eve dinner.” 

“I feel sick,” she responds, keeping the blankets over her. “And my ankle hurts; I can't wear heels.” 

“That's not a valid excuse,” Floris insists, sitting on the bed next to her friend. “Hey, everything okay?” 

“Yes, of course. Just don't want to dine, that's all.” 

“But we worked so hard to prepare this dinner!” Helaena protests. 

Then Annika uncovers herself. Her nose is slightly red, and her eyes are a bit swollen, but she disguises it with tangled hair falling over her face. “You made sandwiches with potato chips.” 

“I made three different kinds of sandwiches?” Hel replies as if it were obvious. 

“Yes, ham and cheese, a questionable tomato at the back of the fridge, and probably expired pastrami.” 

“Did something happen to you?” Helaena asks, a bit concerned and suspicious. “Did Aegon make you angry or something?” 

She thinks for a moment. Unable to piece together the story in her mind after what he confessed. She feels betrayed, a bit lost, too distressed. Initially thought she would spend the rest of the days in bed until they could eventually leave, but there's another doubt gnawing at her. 

“Did you know about my mom's illness before I found out?” She asks her friend. Not accusatory, Helaena understands that very well, but in a confused way. 

Helaena sits on the bed next to Floris, furrowing her brow. “What are you talking about? I thought your mother –“ 

“Aegon knew,” she blurts out as an explanation. “Your mother told him, and he never told me. He always knew she was going to die and never told me.” 

Floris and Helaena exchange a glance of sadness. Floris gently strokes her hair and sighs. 

“It wasn't something Aegon had to tell you, I think,” she offers, very gently. “But where did that come from? Did he tell you?” 

Annika nods. 

“Why?” 

“He was drunk,” she quickly lies. “And it turns out my mother told him not to come near me because he would hurt me. That's why he didn't want to be my escort for the debutante ball, I believe.” 

“That doesn't sound like your mother,” Floris says, puzzled. “I mean... Aegon was always a mess, but she trusted him. She always wanted him to be your escort, practically from the day you were born.” 

“Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Why would your mother say that? And why would Aegon tell you now?” 

She smiles sadly. “I guess our rivalry got out of hand, and now he wanted to genuinely hurt me. I don't know.” 

Helaena nods her head angrily and stands up. “Well, it doesn't make sense! And Aegon can't just tell you those things without giving an explanation. He's an adult, and it's time for him to face the consequences of his own actions. You're going to the dinner, looking more beautiful than ever, and we'll find out the rest of the story. I'm sure there's more.” 

“How are we going to do that?” Floris asks. “If Aegon hasn't told her everything...” 

“We'll make him tell. We'll find out what happened on the night of the debutante ball, this time, the truth. I know my brother; he can be a drunk and thoughtless, but he's anything but violent. What happened that night always felt off. We need to learn the truth so that we all get closure,” Helaena indicates, and Annika sighs. “If Aegon has a chance to redeem himself, I think he deserves it. But first, he'll have to suffer.” 

Helaena walks to the closet and rummages through it while Annika covers herself with the sheets again. 

“Oh! It's the perfect occasion for the red dress,” Floris says, shaking her above the sheets. “Come on! Make him suffer.” 

“You guys are pimping me out,” Annika complains, her voice muffled and distorted as her face is covered by a pillow. Helaena and Floris grab her arms to unearth her from the pile of blankets and pillows. “I don't feel like wearing the red dress, especially not for eating stale sandwiches.” 

Floris jumps up and leaves the room, while Annika settles back on the bed. After a few minutes in which Helaena still holds the red dress, also known as the best piece in Annika's wardrobe, Floris returns with Daeron, who has an unbuttoned shirt at the neck and trousers on. He isn’t ready for dinner yet. 

“What's going on? I thought you couldn't climb stairs, what are you doing here?” Daeron asks, then looks at his sister, who shrugs, and Floris nods. 

“He jumped up here,” Floris explains. “And now, she doesn't want to go to the Christmas dinner.” 

“What are you talking about? How can you not go?” He asks confused. “Helaena gave Logan one of Aemond's suits, and we're getting dressed just for you. What's happening?” 

“She's sad,” the word drags on Helaena's tongue playfully, and she shudders with embarrassment at hearing it. 

“I'm not sad!” She despairs. “I'm tired.” 

“You're never too tired for any event involving the red dress,” Daeron wonders, and sits on the side of the bed. “Hey, come on. I get that we all had very different plans on how to spend our Christmas, but we're here now, and that has to count for something, right?” 

“But...” 

“Commmmme on!” He insists, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “It won't be fun if you don't attend. I'll make you a fancy invitation drawing if that's what it takes.” 

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. I'll go. But you're carrying me down the stairs.” 

Daeron winks at her. “I'll be back in fifteen minutes.” 

“So, we have work to do,” Floris says, grabbing her makeup case. 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

“It's not an optional dinner,” Aemond repeats, rubbing his temples. Aegon is sprawled on his bed, munching on a bag of Cheetos while watching old episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. “Would you turn that off and pay attention? Helaena was very specific. You need to get dressed.” 

“Why? We came here to relax and get away from our family. Sorry if the idea of dinner with them doesn't excite me again,” he says, taking another handful of Cheetos into his mouth. He laughs when Scott appears on the screen. “God, I love that guy.” 

“You love that guy because he's just like you,” Aemond sighs. “What's the problem?” 

“No problem. I've realized that I'm perfect, and it's everyone else around me who has issues,” he playfully grumbles while stretching on the bed and trying to push his brother out of his room. “Now, it's time for you to leave.” 

Aemond takes Aegon's wrists and moves him aside. “Get your greasy Cheetos–fingers off my shirt. It's clean.” 

The older brother looks at him for a few seconds and then lets out a sigh. He shrugs and gives him the typical look he always gives when letting him know he's ruined the fun, only for Aemond to drop his guard so he can embed his orange-stained hand in his brother's white shirt. 

Aemond lets out something close to a feminine scream upon seeing Aegon's handprint. He smacks him on the head harder than intended. “That was my last ironed shirt!” 

“It looks like you'll have to choose: wrinkles, Cheetos or dining naked,” Aegon smiles evilly, shaking his head to shake off the sensation of the hit and pretending that Aemond didn't almost grant him a one-way ticket to meet God for Christmas. “Now lose yourself.” 

“Not coming to dinner is not an option,” his brother warns him. “Something's wrong. You're going to tell me what, or are you going to keep pretending you haven't downed a quarter of a bottle of wine?” 

He doesn't want to say it. He doesn't want to let it out, but he doesn't know if it's the alcohol or that his brother's hit has rebooted his operating system and loosened his tongue because with an unusually casual tone and almost indifference, he blurts out, “I slept with Annika.” 

And it actually comes out with a connotation that is not the one he intended. As if he doesn't care that he did it. As if he's avoiding it. 

Then Aemond hits him again. Much softer, because this time, he didn't really hurt him, so he doesn't deserve it. But he does deserve the hit for being an idiot, of course. 

“Have you gone crazy?” his brother asks, rubbing his temples. “How can you be so stupid? When was this, last night? Is that why Annika wanted to leave?” 

“Huh? No, not really. We've been sleeping together for a while. First time around three years ago, and then whenever we feel like. This past months it got overwhelmingly serious. We’ve been seeing each other all around the world, like, illicit.” 

“You? Sleeping with someone consistently for months? You, who won't even let our driver take you to see someone if the drive lasts more than 20 minutes? Flying from San Francisco to New York to sleep with Annika?” Aemond raises an eyebrow. 

“Not that much,” he explains, contemplating the past few months for a brief moment. “Sometimes we flew to other states, sometimes to Europe. South America once, even. That's not important here.” 

“I think that's exactly what's important here, Aegon.” 

“It's not a big deal. We had a fight in the spring and didn't see each other after that. She didn't go home, neither did I, and obviously, we wanted to avoid each other so much that we both ended up stuck here,” Aegon explains, rubbing his eyes in frustration. “And now, she's here making all sorts of demands...” 

“Well, of course, she'll make demands. She's been in love with you since we were kids,” his brother tells him. 

Aegon rolls his eyes. “She's not in love with me.” 

“And why do you think she flew around the world to see you? What, do you think you have a magical dick?” 

“The sex is good,” Aegon quickly says and smiles. “I mean, it's really good. The best. And yes, my dick is usually irresistible.” 

“Have you considered that you have good sex because you love her, and she loves you?” 

“It's supposed to be you hitting me and telling me that out of all of Helaena's friends, Annika is off-limits, and we shouldn't have done that, and we messed up, and it's a bad idea, and we're going to ruin everything.” 

Aemond blinks, amused. “I would say that if you weren't in love with her. Annika keeps you in line. You keep her humble. It works.” 

“I can't spend the rest of my life hoping Annika will fix me,” Aegon grumbles. “And I don't love her. And even if I did, she doesn't want anything to do with me.” 

“Why? What did you do?” 

Aegon sighs. “I told her the truth. That her mother didn't want me near her, that we couldn't be together because she once told me it would hurt her if I, of all people, hurt her daughter.” 

“That's twisted,” Aemond murmurs, suddenly getting serious. 

“I know, so –“ 

“What's twisted is that you use her dead mother as an excuse not to be with her, Aegon. If you can't handle your feelings, face them yourself. You know how sensitive the holidays are for her. How could you say something like that to her?” 

“Because I thought that way, she would understand that we can't be together.” 

His brother hits him again, a bit harder than the second time. 

“You're a pig.” 

“I know.” 

“And still, Freya loved you a lot,” Aemond adds. “As much of a disaster as you were, she wouldn't have entrusted Annika to anyone else. Screw Dalton Greyjoy; you should have gone with her to the debutante ball. That's what she would have wanted. You know that.” 

“And why would she tell me otherwise?” 

“She was trying to get you to find something that would make you not want to hurt yourself, perhaps?” Aemond suggests, a bit resentful in his tone. “Because it seems like the rest of us have never been worthy of you even trying.” 

“Oh, don't give me that nonsense now. You know I try.” 

“You planned an escape from our family. On Christmas 

“And here you are with me. What's your point?” 

“Do you know why I came?” Aemond questions, giving him a shove on the shoulders that leaves him sitting on the bed, somewhat dazed. The action isn't violent, just authoritative. “Because Mum asked me to make sure you didn't kill yourself on the snowy road. To make sure you didn't overdose, and we found your body weeks later. Mum doesn't know how you are in San Francisco. She doesn't even know why you're in San Francisco. No one knows what you're doing. So don't pretend we came here for me; we all know we came here for you.” 

Aegon crosses his arms and avoids his brother's gaze. “You're tough” 

“Yes, I am. And I'm right.” 

“I'll find myself dead before admitting you're right.” 

“Admit that I'm right, and I'll let you skip the dinner.” 

Aegon stands up, reluctantly. “So, what are we having tonight?” 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

Aegon looks at the silver tray in the centre of the table. Helaena has truly gone the extra mile to make the enormous table look like it's out of a tale, with a white tablecloth, decorations, candles, fine china, and matching glasses. One would expect that under the tray, there would be a turkey or any dish that matches the decoration. 

But it's a tower of sandwiches. 

There are other snacks and a couple of salads of questionable origin. But Helaena made them look beautiful. 

“Well done, Hel,” Aegon says, putting an arm around his sister's shoulders while holding his glass with the other. He gives her a chaste kiss on the forehead. “It looks very nice.” 

“You're drunk, aren't you?” 

“I was. Now I’m just hangover,” Aegon says. He's wearing a dark green sweater and black pants, and he looks at Aemond with his white shirt, to which he tried to hide Aegon's Cheeto-stained fingerprints by putting on a tie, making him look ridiculous. “You look dishevelled. What do you think, Hel?” 

Helaena has put on a silk blue dress that reaches mid-calf and has various figures embroidered in silver thread: suns, moons, stars, and various insects. It's something only she would wear, and she carries it so gracefully that it looks even more expensive than it is. 

“Why are you wearing a dirty shirt?” she asks, disgusted. 

“I didn't... You know what?” He tries to calm himself down, unable to be anything other than kind to his sister. “Forget it.” 

“I can walk from here,” Annika tells Daeron, who holds her arm and insists on guiding her to the dining room. Floris holds her other arm. When they enter the dining room, the blonde smiles. “Wow. You really overdid it, Helaena.” 

Aegon lets go of his sister when Annika sets her eyes on them and just takes a long sip, trying not to look at her directly as if she were Medusa. 

“I chose the tablecloth,” Daeron proudly says. 

Aemond elbows Aegon and crouches to whisper to him. “She's wearing the red dress. You're so screwed.” 

“I'm not screwed. Shut up,” he complains, pushing him lightly. Aemond laughs and goes to sit at the head, right where their father always sits. Aegon looks at Annika for a moment, and just the sight of the golden waves of hair in contrast to the red dress makes him sigh. “I'm screwed.” 

Aegon sits next to his brother. On his side are Willa and Daeron, and facing them, more by force and Helaena's order than by their own will, Annika sits. She has Floris on one side, Logan next to Floris, and Helaena on her side at the other end, right where their mother usually sits. They kept the table small to make it a bit more intimate. 

Aegon doesn't thank her about that at all. Annika doesn't even register him, often talking to Floris and even exchanging a word with Aemond, but not with him. 

“How's your ankle feeling?” Logan asks Annika. In the background, Helaena has put on terrible Christmas music that makes Aegon's head hurt, and everyone eats the sandwiches with a knife and fork to please her. Aegon thinks they look like lunatics. 

“Oh, it's fine. It hurts a bit, but it's okay. A bit swollen. I don't think it's as bad as I thought.” 

“You'll be walking normally before you know it.” 

“Are you a doctor or something?” Florid asks, confused. 

“I still have two more years to become one,” he explains. “I chose the internships in Aspen because my family is from here, and I've been away for a long time. But I attended college in Massachusetts.” 

“Oh, lucky,” Annika winks at Helaena discreetly, and Aegon rolls his eyes. “My uncle is a doctor.” 

“Of course. Lannister. I knew I recognized it from somewhere,” Logan snaps his fingers. “He's a master of cardiology.” 

“I wanted to study medicine,” Daeron interjects, and everyone looks at him strangely. He stops chewing the chips he put in his mouth and swallows quickly. “What?” 

“Since when? You hate blood. Aegon cut his finger once and you almost passed out,” Helaena laughs. 

“Well, I never said I was going to do it, damn,” he sighs annoyed. “Besides, business is easier, and it guarantees more than anything else.” 

“What about you, Willa? Are you in business too?” Helaena asks. 

She smiles. “No, biochemistry.” 

“And top of her class,” brags Daeron, putting an arm around her shoulders. Willa blushes slightly and shifts uncomfortably, with so many eyes on her. “She's fantastic. She has like, I don't know, five internship offers.” 

“Oh, so you're smart-smart,” Floris tells her, fascinated at the possibility of having someone else to play chess with besides Aemond. 

“Some might say. I consider myself diligent, nothing more,” Willa shrugs, the chiffon of the dropped sleeves of her pink dress moving gracefully. 

Aegon takes a sip of wine, as bored as he can be whenever the conversation turns to study or life plans. He sprawls in the chair and discreetly stretches, trying not to make noise, when accidentally his foot hits Annika's, and she startles. 

“Ouch!” 

“It was an accident,” he quickly excuses himself, seeing that all attention turned to her complaint. 

“Be careful next time,” she says, her voice cold and hard like the ice covering the pavement. She looks at her ankle with a wrinkled nose, and he shakes his head. 

Aemond kicks him under the table to stop him from making an inappropriate comment, and the hit takes him by surprise too. “Ouch.” 

“Do you think it's funny?” Annika asks, annoyed. 

“God, no. It's not funny,” he sighs. He tries to restrain himself, but he can't. “It's hilarious.” 

“Maybe we should move on to dessert,” Aemond insists, half trying to lighten the mood, half not wanting to eat the overdue pastrami sandwich. He's sure he got the worst one as punishment for Floris' incident. 

“Oh, but there's no dessert, just an orange jelly that Willa made,” Helaena says. “There wasn't much we could do, and Annika burned the cookies, so...” 

“I didn't burn them! You didn't tell me when to let you know to take them out of the oven!” 

“Wait, no dessert?” Daeron asks, outraged. “What are we going to eat tomorrow?” 

“The leftovers from Christmas Eve,” his sister responds plainly. He looks at the shredded sandwich on Aemond's plate, and he shudders. 

“So... Bread crusts? No Christmas pancakes?” 

“I'm sure tomorrow morning it will be viable to go out and get something decent to eat, and if not, we'll make an effort. My truck can probably handle most of the snowy road, and if the weather improves, they'll probably even make the Christmas parade, and we can watch it,” Logan says. “Worst case scenario, we'll eat cans of beans.” 

“At least we have plenty of alcohol,” Aegon mutters. “Christmas is saved for me.” 

“I can't believe it's Christmas, and there won't be any figgy pudding,” Daeron sounds disappointed. 

“I thought you hated figgy pudding,” Floris tells him, puzzled. 

“And I do. But it's tradition. Like gifts. We have no gifts. What are we going to do tomorrow morning?” 

“You can always sleep until noon and miss Christmas morning,” Annika jokes. “I didn't think you were so traditional, Daeron. Certainly not to escape your family and come spend it only with your girlfriend on Christmas.” 

“Let them screw in peace,” Aegon blurts out. 

“You're rude. We're at the table,” Annika crosses her arms, as if the previous night hadn't seen her on the kitchen counter. 

“We wanted peace and quiet, and we would have done all those things anyway. But now that we're all here... I don't know, it's weird. Because it doesn't feel like Christmas,” Daeron says. “Well, I don't think Christmas can feel like Christmas if I'm not trying to fall asleep in Annika's guest room because the party is boring.” 

Everyone laughs. 

“It’s not Christmas if Aegon doesn't pee on the tree and blame it on Sunfyre,” Aemond adds. 

“It was only once!” 

“And do you remember the Christmas when we locked ourselves in the basement to drink anise liquor, and your uncle Daemon found us, and we thought he was going to scold and accuse us, but he laughed at us because we were drunk on damn anise liquor?” Floris recalls, almost bursting into laughter at the memory of Helaena with her cheeks full of liquor, too scared to swallow the burning drink once her uncle found them. 

“I didn't know about that,” Daeron complains. 

“It was a long time ago. You were probably asleep in Annika's guest room,” Aemond recalls. 

“When was it?” 

“It was the first Christmas without my mom, I think,” Annika says, resting her chin on her hand, somewhat pensive, as if she had been lost in the memory. Floris puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes it. 

“It was,” Aegon nods. 

He could never forget that night. The three girls had gone to sleep as drunk as skunks in the middle of the party, and he had put Aemond to bed with Daeron. Being slightly older than the rest, he knew how to handle and disguise his drunkenness a little better than them. He had wanted to go out to smoke on the balcony of the second floor and had seen Annika walking briskly to what had been her mother's painting studio, locking herself in there. He sat silently against the door and listened to her sobbing the rest of the night, too conflicted to try knocking on the door. 

He often wondered what would have happened if he had knocked on the door. If he had told her he was there with her, even if she didn't want to talk about it. Even if she just wanted to cry. 

But it is no use to ask himself that. 

“I know it wasn't the initial plan for anyone, but we're all here now, and I'm glad it turned out this way,” Helaena interjects. “I’m grateful, for all of you.” 

“I am too, Hel,” Floris smiles and raises her glass. “I want to propose a toast, for this... Christmas disaster. Even though it's Christmas Eve, and we're eating sandwiches with probably expired cold cuts thousands of miles from home, I wouldn't want to be with other people on Earth.” 

“For Hel's expired cold cut sandwiches and Willa's orange jelly,” surprisingly, Aemond says, raising his glass. Then he looks at Floris. “I'm grateful too, for all of you. Even the stranger over there.” 

Helaena shakes her head, amused. 

“And for Aegon's Cheeto-stained fingers on your shirt,” Daeron teases, to annoy him. 

“And Annika's sprained ankle,” Logan adds. 

“And may the Moschino fur boots rest in peace,” she sighs, also raising her glass. 

Everyone stands up to clink their glasses together. The sound of glass clashing, and everyone's laughter vibrates through the room. For a second, everyone seems to forget the dilemmas, tribulations that brought them there, the deceptions, and old secrets. For a second, they are a family again, the family they have chosen. It doesn't matter that dinner is sandwiches and orange jelly. 

And it works. For a second, it works. Until everyone sits back down, the joy still part of their faces, and Aegon takes the bottle of red wine while still standing. “Anyone want some?” 

It's Annika who holds her glass toward him from her seat. He looks at her, glimpsing the neckline of her dress from his angle as he pours the wine. Her cheeks are flushed from the wine, and her green eyes are highlighted with feline eyeliner. Her lips are still shiny even after eating. Blood-coloured nails hold the glass, and she even has a defiant look. Her hair is in a low ponytail. 

And the dress. He hates that dress. It's a ruby red shade that clings to her body, not in a vulgar way, from the beginning of her breasts to the hips, and it reaches her knees a bit looser. Shoulders and collarbones are evident, and it has two straps that fit on her arms. He has seen that dress several times. He has wanted to tear off that dress every time. 

This time is no different. 

“Aegon, the wine,” Annika warns him. 

He snaps out of his stupor at her click. He takes the glass he has poured too much when the wine spills over his hands and even to the elbow, and drops fall on his mother's white tablecloth. He curses, almost embarrassed. 

“Oh, shit,” he says, taking his napkin and trying to clean up the mess he made on the tablecloth. Daeron tries to stop him when he sees that he seems to be spreading the stains, and Aegon doesn't stop. Among the decorations, he knocks over Willa's water glass, splashing it on her skirt. She recoils startled at the cold. “Oops, shit. I'm sorry. Let me...” 

“It’s okay,” Willa tells him, and Aegon tries to clean up the water that drips from the tablecloth to the floor when he knocks over a candle, and the tablecloth takes a moment to catch fire. 

“Aegon!” Helaena scolds him, getting up from the chair quickly. “Do something!” 

“Oh, shit. Oh,” Aegon panics and tries to blow out the flames that have engulfed more than half of the table, but it doesn't work. 

Anxiety courses through him as everyone starts shouting for him to do something, so he takes off the sweater and tries to extinguish the flames. 

The sweater catches fire too. Daeron forces him to let it go and burn with the rest of the things. Then, before anyone can react, Floris appears with a fire extinguisher from who knows where and manages to put out the flames. 

A graveyard silence falls in the room. Annika clings to Floris' arm. Willa has a hand on her chest while Daeron covers his mouth in disbelief, and Logan has his hands on Helaena's shoulders. 

The sound of Aemond's blinking clock is the only thing that can be heard. Then he clicks his tongue. “Merry Christmas, by the way.” 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

Everyone stayed to clean up after that fiasco. Even Annika, with her bad foot, forced herself to walk a bit and throw the remnants of the tablecloth ashes into the trash. 

“Hey,” Annika calls to Helaena, when both are alone in the kitchen. She leans on the counter. “What's going on with you and Logan?” 

“Why are you asking?” Hel questions, pretending not to care. 

“Because you've been with him practically since he arrived, and I know you,” she accuses. “You've always been special when it comes to guys. But not with him. You like him” 

“Maybe...” 

“You love him.” 

“Well...” 

“You want to have sex, get married, have seven kids, and be a trophy wife with a veterinarian on a retreat farm,” Annika jokes. Helaena laughs. “I have to tell you; I always thought I would lose Floris before I lost you.” 

“You're acting like I'm getting married tomorrow,” she rolls her eyes. 

“Well, when you love, you love in a very special and deep way. I wouldn't be surprised.” 

Hel grabs her hand. “You'll have that someday.” 

“What do you mean?” Annika asks, confused. 

“The conventional life. You know. Marriage, kids, love. You'll have that someday,” Helaena replies. She shifts uncomfortably. “You don't have to be always alone.” 

And yet it seems like my fate. Always the wrong one, never the one. Always the “almost”. Always the nights and never the mornings. 

“I know that,” Annika downplays. “But we're not talking about me. We're talking about you.”

“Well, speaking of you...” 

Annika straightens up when Helaena turns around, muttering something unintelligible. Then she shows her the empty fire extinguisher. 

“What do you want me to do with that?” 

“Would you mind going to the service cabin to get the replacement?” 

“The service cabin? Do you mean that horrible shed at the end of the garden where we once locked your father in for a whole night? That horrible shed?” 

“Come on, you're not going to tell me it still scares you, right? Besides, they've fixed it. The floorboards no longer creak. Please, bring the other extinguisher to put this one in its place, and my parents will never know what we did here,” Helaena pleads. Annika rolls her eyes and takes it. 

“Of course, I'm not afraid," she admits. "But why me?” 

“Because everyone else has other tasks. And you yourself said your ankle felt better 

She protests but fulfils her friend's request, unable to see any of the brothers in trouble for setting the table on fire. She throws a wool coat over her shoulders and walks outside through the kitchen door. 

The service shed is located about fifty meters from the house, at the other end of the snow-covered yard. She makes the journey with a little difficulty, some snowflakes falling gently on her skin and melting instantly. Although the yard is turning into hardened snow, Aemond has cleared the path because he spent a large part of the afternoon making the round trip. The piled-up snow on the sides of the cobblestones betrays him. 

She blows on her frozen hands as she moves her legs lightly to avoid losing warmth before putting her hand on the frozen handle, pulling with some force, opening the door with difficulty. The squeak is tremendous and almost feels like a bad omen. 

It's a fairly large shed since it used to be the maid's quarters when they bought the house, but they never used it as such because it was never in a condition for anyone to sleep there. At least, as Helaena said, they had repaired the floor. She tries to turn on the light, but it's only a dim light that flickers tiredly. She hurriedly leaves the extinguisher aside and looks for the other with her eyes among the clutter of things. She stretches when she finally finds the device on a shelf, leaning all her weight on the uninjured ankle. 

“What are you doing here?” Aegon's voice surprises her, and the extinguisher slips from her hands in shock, hitting the floor with a bang. 

“Are you crazy? I could have gotten hurt,” she says annoyed, watching as it almost hits her healthy foot. Aegon carries a box of things with both hands and kicks the door closed to leave the box on a shelf. “What are you doing here?” 

“I just asked you the same thing,” he says, sighing with effort when he finally puts the box on the shelf. “Who would have thought Helaena had a colonel's skills when it comes to cleaning. She even caught you; I see.” 

She raises an eyebrow and chuckles. She heads for the exit without even saying a word, and Aegon growls again. 

“Are you still angry?” 

“Wonder what gave me away.” 

“Besides the dress to make you look good, and you've ignored me all night...” 

“I'm not ignoring you. I just have nothing to say to you, and you've made it clear that you don't either. We have nothing to talk about, Aegon.” 

“We were friends before, Annika. We were friends before being...” 

“Before being what? Your world-traveling booty call?” She cuts him off, with a hand on the latch. “You know what? I don't want to hear it.” 

Aegon hurriedly puts a hand on the door and closes it when she tries to open it. “Wait.” 

“I don't want to talk to you!” She yells, trying to open the door again. Aegon puts both hands on the wood and pushes outward while she pulls on the latch with all her weight. “Move!” 

“Just listen to me for a second!” 

“I don't want to hear you! Every time you say something, you hurt me even more!” 

“And yet you think you and I would have worked?” 

“Do stop bothering me!” Annika shouts at him, pulling on the latch again with all her strength. “For God's sake, Aegon, how much do you weigh?” 

He opens his mouth to answer, but remains silent when Annika staggers backward and is left with the latch in her hand, while they hear the latch from the outside falling to the ground. 

Aegon nods, lips tight. “That was your fault.” 

“My fault?” She yells at him. “No. The last thing I want is to be stuck here with you. Go get something to open the door. Helaena! Aemond! Daeron! Willa! Floris! Logan!” 

“Oh, great. Only the bears can hear you, Annika,” Aegon mocks her, and the wood bangs on the door. “Relax. Move. I'll open it.” 

“By kicking it?” She asks, arms crossed. 

“Of course, what do you think?” 

“You're... You know what? Go ahead. Kick the door open.” 

She steps aside as Aegon moves all his limbs as if he wanted to warm up his muscles whose only recreation is going up the steep street of his apartment when he returns from buying cigarettes on the corner at three in the morning. He prepares, takes a little distance, and hits the door with all his might. 

Annika smiles satisfied when she sees him on the floor, in pain, holding his leg and complaining like a child. “Are you done? Can I shout for the others again?” 

“That would be fine,” he whispers, almost breathless, straightening up to sit on the floor, almost defeated. “I don't think any of them have gone to bed yet, so shout loudly.” 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

Daeron laughs as he positions Willa on his lap, both sitting on individual sofas. Aemond and Floris are next to each other, a little too smiley from the alcohol intake, and Helaena is sitting on the floor beside Logan's legs as he holds a guitar on his lap. 

“Hel, you're a terrible singer!” Floris mocks. 

“What about you? You sound like a wounded wolf!” Helaena responds, offended. Willa laughs too. 

“Come on, play another one!” Daeron asks Logan. 

“Well, only if you insist,” he replies, and starts playing the first chords of a song without saying which one. 

Incredibly, it's Aemond who takes a sip of his wine and guesses it first, singing the first verse. “Such a feeling's coming over me, there is wonder in most everything I see...” 

“Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes, and I won't be surprised if it's a dream,” Willa continues, cheerful. And of all, she might have the least hoarse voice. 

“Everything I want the world to be, is now coming true especially for me,” Daeron continues, using the tip of a small beer bottle as a microphone. 

“And the reason is clear, it's because you are here, you're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen,” Floris and Helaena sing together, while the blonde moves her arms in the closest thing to a dance she has. 

“I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation!” They all sing this time, including Logan. “And the only explanation I can find is the love that I've found ever since you've been around… Your love's put me at the top of the world!” 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

“How long have we been here?” Aegon asks, exhausted. 

Annika checks her watch. “Ten minutes.” 

“What are they doing in there that they can't hear your screams?” he complains. “I want to get out of here. It's cold and creepy.” 

“I don't know, but they're probably having a better night than me,” she says, leaning against the dusty shelf with a bit of disgust. “I hope you're happy.” 

“This isn't my fault. If you had stayed and listened to what I wanted to tell you, you wouldn't have broken the damn latch,” Aegon reproaches again. 

“Did it ever occur to you that I don't want to hear what you have to say because you messed with the one thing you know hurts me the most?” she says, wrapping herself even more in her wool sweater. 

He lowers his head, feeling a bit guilty. Suddenly, everything Aemond told him feels too heavy. “Annika…” 

“How could you?” She retorts suddenly. “How could you keep something like that to yourself? For years? How could you not tell me?” 

“What did you want me to say?” He asks, standing up to her level. “I'm asking you seriously. What was I supposed to tell you? I wasn't supposed to tell you I knew she was sick. And I certainly wasn't supposed to tell you she didn't want me near you.” 

Annika laughs. “You weren't supposed to use it as an excuse to not be with me. It's not fair that you're doing this to me. My mother has nothing to do with you being a mess who can't get his priorities straight.” 

“Do you think I don't have my priorities straight?” He asks, starting to feel more annoyed than concerned for her, who clearly is fine. 

“Please, I know you don't have your priorities straight. You dropped out of college, live in San Francisco on your father's money doing God knows what, and push everyone out of your life so they won't see that you're nothing more than a complete disaster.” 

“Oh, who are you kidding, trust-fund princess? Hey, guess what, your mother dying doesn't give you a free pass to be a complete jerk with everyone when things don't go your way. Grow up a bit.” 

She furrows her brow, annoyed. “Your father preferring his grandchildren over you doesn't give you the right to be a jerk either, but here you are.” 

Aegon runs his hands over his face and stifles a scream. “God! You're fucking crazy. You shouldn't be here. None of you should be here!” 

“Well, tough luck, champ. We're here trapped, literally and figuratively. Deal with it.” 

Annika crosses her arms again and turns her back, but Aegon hasn't finished. 

“No, but seriously. You being here has ruined everything. Floris and Aemond fought over your stupid little game…” 

“Oh, come on! As if I made Aemond sleep with someone else!” 

“And if they hadn't been here, I'd probably have someone sucking my cock right now.” 

“Is that all the fuss? That no one has sucked you off?” She asks, putting her hands on her hips. “I'd do it if you weren't such an idiot, just a reminder.” 

He bites his inner cheek, holding back the urge to shout. 

“You… You're insane, Annika. You were yelling at me two minutes ago, and now you want to suck me off.” 

“I never said I wanted to, just that I would.” 

Aegon blinks. “You would? I mean… Now?” 

“You lost the privilege of asking me to suck you off when you threw my dead mother's name into this mess,” she says, crossing her arms. 

“And if I eat you out?” 

“If you come near me, I'll bash your head in with those rusty golf clubs,” Annika points to them in a corner. Aegon smiles. “I’m going to ask you a question.” 

“Thanks for the heads up.” 

“Are you never going to settle down, or do you just not want to settle down with me?” She asks, leaving modesty behind. Aegon doesn't seem willing to answer. “And if it's not me, then I want to know why it's not me. Why not me?” 

“Anything else you want to know?” He mocks. 

“Why did you drop out of college? What's in San Francisco that made you move there? Why did you leave?” 

Because I want you far away, far away. As far away as possible. I want you to forget about me. 

“I don't think I can settle down. You know how I am.” 

“I knew how you were when we were teenagers. We fucked for the first time three years ago, and since then, you've left but always come back to me. And you want to convince me that I'm just another of your girls?” 

He groans. “We have the best sex, that's it.” 

“And you know why.” 

“You sound like Aemond,” he says. “Who, by the way, knows. About you and me.” 

Annika walks toward him carefully and sits astride. Aegon knows she's testing him, but he's also sure she wants to sit and doesn't want to ruin her clothes by leaning against any dirty places. 

“I don't care if Aemond knows,” she tells him. The wool cardigan slips off one shoulder, and he tries to keep his eyes anywhere else but her cleavage. “Did you tell him?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I wanted him to punch me and tell me how out of my reach you are and that I made a mistake.” 

“And he didn't tell you that?” 

“He said other things,” he cuts her off quickly. “But, you know what I think is funny? That you're here playing a game like a stupid teenager, trying to get me to say I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you when you never thought to tell me that yourself. Because you couldn't bear that it might not be a reciprocated feeling, so you haven't even thought about how you really feel about me. You just want me here to tell you I love you and fix you. I know you. You're an expert at sucking the life out of those around you, and I won't let you do that to me.” 

“I can't do that. You have no life, nothing I could suck.” 

“I have a dick that could use it.” 

“You're making me cringe,” she shakes off a pretend shiver. The dress fabric has ridden up to the middle of her thighs, and he puts his hands on her waist, pressing forcefully to draw her closer. “What's in San Francisco?” 

Aegon kisses her, holding the back of her neck so she won't pull away. Maybe he wants to shut her up, and maybe he wants to kiss her, sometimes he doesn't even understand it himself. But his pants feel tight, and she's at his mercy and willing, because she kisses him again. Palms against his chest, clutching the shirt and crumpling it between her impatient fingers. 

“I want to fuck you right here,” he whispers against her lips. “One last time, please.” 

“One last time? And then what?” She asks, arching her back slightly to bring her chest closer to his. “And then you'll disappear forever?” 

“Maybe.” 

Annika removes his hands from her with some difficulty, creating some distance between their bodies. “It's hard.” 

“What's hard?” 

“Loving you,” she replies simply, her green eyes almost soaked. Aegon's lips part slightly in surprise, and soon he stops breathing. “It's hard and painful. And you only make it worse.” 

He doesn't know what to say. Suddenly, he's a little boy again who doesn't understand why his father doesn't celebrate his achievements and why his only company is the babysitters and why no one wants to do the science project with him—because he's the problem. 

There's something about it that shakes him to his core when she stands up, adjusts her dress, and the wool cardigan swallows her almost entirely, shielding her from his cruelty. He wants to say something, but he can't formulate the words. His mind is blank. 

“I…”  

“You wanted to hear it? Well, now you have,” she interrupts him, leaning against the wall on the other side of the shed. “I don't want to hear from you.” 

He blinks, dumbfounded, and after a few moments of silence, he finally lets out, “There's nothing in San Francisco.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“San Francisco. There's nothing keeping me there. I'm not doing anything in particular either. I guess I'm just running away,” he says. “There's nothing of you there.” 

“Is that why you mail me my pink sweater? Because you had to move to a different country and a different city that had nothing to do with me?” 

“Basically.” 

“So, do you hate me?” 

“I don't hate you,” he responds. “And you're right. You always have been. I love you too.” 

Annika runs her hands through her hair in frustration and lets out a bitter laugh. “Are you kidding me?” 

Soon, they hear a noise coming from the door, and it opens to reveal Daeron with his hand on the doorknob he fixed from the outside. “There you are! We've been looking for you for a while. The doorknob broke and fell. Are you okay?” 

Their presence doesn't seem to matter to either of them. 

“You're driving me crazy,” Annika shoots at Aegon, walking out the door without even acknowledging Daeron's presence. 

“What's wrong with her?” the younger one asks, confused. 

“Not now,” Aegon replies, walking quickly and pushing his brother aside. Behind him, he hears the shed door close in the breeze. “Annika, wait.” 

“I'm tired of waiting for you,” she protests, her voice firm and cold. When she enters the house, her muscles relax in the warm atmosphere, and the others look at them curiously. 

“Where were you guys?” Floris asks with concern. “Why do you look dirty?” 

“Because Aegon broke the door, and we got stuck in the utility shed.” 

“Could you stop saying it was my fault?! I needed you to hear what I wanted to tell you, and you broke the doorknob!” 

Floris looks at Aemond confused, and he shrugs. 

“You kidnapped me in the shed! I wanted out!” 

“Okay, that's enough, it doesn't matter who broke it,” Helaena intervenes, putting her hands on Annika's cold shoulders. “What's going on? Why are you fighting now?” 

Annika crosses her arms. “You already know, Aegon knew about my mom's illness long before I did. All that time, he knew and didn't tell me anything about it. And apparently, her dying wish was expressed to him instead of me, her daughter. Isn't that funny?” 

Helaena hugs her tightly as if they were little girls again. Floris looks at Aegon appalled, while he clenches his fists. Logan and Willa shift uncomfortably in the room. 

“So... Is that true?” Floris dares to ask. Aegon nods sternly. “I mean... Annika, that's not his fault. It wasn't something he could tell you, I think.” 

“No, I know that… But what's macabre about the situation is that he uses it as an excuse to ruin my life, that he uses my mother as if her words were something sacred to him and acts like he respects her wishes when he's been fucking me for over three years!” Annika says. The room falls silent for a moment, and the air is tense. 

Daeron enters, shivering from the cold but with a smile. “Hey, you left me locked in the shed. Thank God I was able to fix it. What are you talking about?” 

“You two have been fucking... For three years?” Floris asks, surprised. 

“What!?” Daeron exclaims, looking at his brother. “You and Annika?” 

“It's not...” He begins to say, looking only at Helaena as if he owed her an explanation, but instantly falls silent when Annika laughs. Finally, he sighs. “Yes, Annika and I. I'm sorry. I really didn't want you to find out like this.” 

“No, he didn't want you to find out, period,” she adds. “He uses my mother as an excuse not to be with me, but that didn't stop him from showing up on the night of the debutante ball and ruining absolutely everything!” 

“I've had enough of this,” Aegon barks, approaching her almost dangerously and grabbing her arm tightly; his face inches from hers. “You want to know what happened that night? Everyone wants to know, right? I bet you do. You staged this whole show, so I'm going to tell you,” he says, letting go of her arm, trying to control the violence generated by the situation. “I beat Dalton Greyjoy not because I wanted to ruin your night or because I was drunk; in fact, I wasn't even drunk. I beat him up because you were a girl, and he was older, and I spent half an hour listening to him talk to his friends about everything he was going to do to you. And how after he finished with you, his friends could have you. That's right. He could sit next to you and act like a gentleman with plans to hurt you while I was on the side being villainized for not wanting to hurt you. And you know what? It's not fair. I was taking care of you. I have always taken care of you.” 

No one dares to speak after his revelation. Daeron frowns and scratches his neck, somewhat uncomfortable, then puts his hands on Willa's shoulders as she hugs her legs curled up on the sofa. Logan doesn't dare to breathe, and neither does Floris. 

Aegon steps back a few paces as if he needs to get away from all of them. 

“Aegon. Why didn't you ever say anything?” Helaena asks. 

“What use would it be? Annika would say that I was trying to ruin not only her life but her relationship. You wouldn't have believed me, none of you would’ve.” 

Annika laughs, and this time, she approaches him. “Aegon, after all we've been through, you really thought I would have believed Dalton Greyjoy over you?” 

He shrugs. “I didn't want you to get your hopes up. You were a bit foolish, and I wasn't exactly a knight in shining armour.” 

“Always so considerate of my feelings,” she says, rolling her eyes. “God, Aegon, you're... a fucking idiot.” 

“See? See how she is?” He addresses the rest and points at Annika. The only one who laughs is Helaena, who seems tempted by the whole situation, unlike the others who are uncomfortable but too involved. 

“I mean, you should have told me. And to be honest, I didn't need you to take care of me like that... I appreciate that you told me the truth, but you embarrass me.” 

“Well I lied to you; I was a bit drunk, yes,” he smiles, feeling the tension between them disappear. Then he remembers that everyone is watching them. “Would you guys mind?” 

“Um... No? We've been here listening for five minutes. We deserve to know how this ends,” Daeron complains. “Please, make it our Christmas gift.” 

“Fine,” Aegon says. “But then forget the air fryer I got you.” 

“That's what you got me for Christmas?” Daeron asks disgusted. “Forget it. Continue. Pretend we're not here.” 

Annika shakes her head and looks at Aegon again, almost pleadingly. “So. How is it going to end? Forget about my mother. Forget about Dalton Greyjoy. Just you and me.” 

“You wanted to hear me say that I love you, and you ran the moment I did. So, you tell me, how's it going to be?” 

“You love her!?” Daeron shouts. 

“Daeron!” Everyone yells at him. 

She squeezes her eyes shut tightly. “I'm willing to try. But if you're not willing, if you don't make an effort... it ends here, now. And I mean it.” 

Aegon has a lot to evaluate; he knows that. He has to learn not to run away, to face tense and uncomfortable situations just like she does. 

But if there's anyone who would make all these horrors more bearable, it's Annika. 

He laughs and pinches her cheeks. “Well, I have to admit you’re the best sex I’ve ever had. I can't lose that." 

“Ugh! You're so crude,” Annika protests, struggling to pull away from him, overwhelmed. “In front of everyone. Seriously, what's wrong with you? You're not right in the head.” 

“Of course not, and neither are you,” he teases, while trying to pull her closer. He squeezes her cheeks with one hand and plants a chaste kiss on her lips. There's a feeling that reminds him, though, that he still has to face Helaena's scrutiny, silently standing by the Christmas tree with an indescribable expression. “Hel?” 

“What?” She asks, confused. 

“Is this okay with you?” 

“Annika and you?” She asks, and he nods, still holding Annika around the waist. Helaena laughs. “It's a bit disappointing how uneventful it was, but, yes. I mean, you finally admitted it.” 

“But I...” 

“You're my brother, and she's my best friend. It’s like it was written in the stars, and, please, the only ones here who didn't know you two were sleeping together were Daeron and Floris.” 

“Hey!” They say in unison, and then look at each other and sigh. Daeron shakes his head. “Ah, why lie. She's right. I would have never seen it coming. I mean, I never imagined you two were in love.” 

“I knew,” Willa says, and her boyfriend looks at her puzzled. “Didn't you notice? Besides, the last time we were in San Francisco, Aegon lent me Annika's pink sweater. It was obvious.” 

Annika turns her head like the Exorcist and looks at Aegon with an expression bordering on the macabre. “You. Lent. My. Pink. Sweater?” 

“Please don't break up with me,” he sighs and gives her a kiss on the forehead. 

“It already beat the record for your longest relationship,” Aemond teases, and everyone laughs. 

“Alright, since we're confessing things... I have something to tell you,” says Helaena, approaching to take Logan's hand, who is sitting on the sofa. “He's my boyfriend.” 

Floris gasps in surprise. 

“Please tell me you're not moving to Aspen,” Annika pleads. 

“He doesn't live here in Aspen; we lied to all of you. We have been dating for months,” she says, carefree. “I wanted you all to meet him before everyone at home, wanted to meet Willa, have Aegon and Annika finally admit they love each other, and know what happened between Aemond and Floris. At first, I was going to propose hosting Christmas in New York, but I knew everyone would find an excuse not to come, so when I saw on Dad's credit card statement the flights Aemond and Aegon bought to Aspen, I convinced Annika and Floris to come. And I mentioned this place to Daeron several times during the weeks leading up to it, knowing he'd end up coming instead of going to London. And, hey! Everything worked out perfectly.” 

Everyone looked at each other, a little scared. 

“So... You knew we were all coming?” Aemond asks. 

“Basically, yes.” 

“And you two pretended not to know each other...” 

“Yes, exactly. The storm and getting stuck here were a coincidence. I wanted you to meet in a calm environment without preconceptions. And I sent you both to the shed, but the doorknob breaking was also a coincidence. It was fate, I think,” she explains. 

Aegon opens his mouth to say something but can't formulate words due to surprise. “Anything else?” 

“Oh, yes... I saw you and Annika together in France a few months ago. But I didn't say anything because Logan and I also went incognito.” 

She laughs and walks over to hug Helaena. “My beautiful, beautiful weirdo. I love you so much, but don't ever do something like this again.” 

“And you could have told us about him,” Floris also gets up to give her a hug. 

“There was never a right time; something always came up, and we really wanted to spend the holidays together. Introducing him at home when everything was a mess wasn't a viable option,” she replies, giving Floris's hand a squeeze. “I'm so sorry, guys, but I really wanted to bring you all together, and this was the only way I found. Are you mad?” 

Her voice is so sweet and gentle, and she's so Helaena that none of them can be angry. She knows it very well and is kind enough to at least apologize; she knows there will be no consequences. 

“Of course not, Hel. I really enjoyed being here with all of you...” Aemond begins to say. 

“Don't get sentimental on me now,” Aegon cuts him off, giving his sister friendly pats on the head. “Thanks, Hel. Even though we had stale sandwiches, thanks. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to take a shower. I'm freezing and dirty.” 

“That’s a Christmas miracle, alright,” Floris teases. He gives her the middle finger. 

“I have a girlfriend now. I have to look presentable. She's truly neat.” 

Annika raises an eyebrow. “I don't remember you asking if I wanted to be your girlfriend.” 

“It's not necessary,” he says, and leans to support her body in his arms, carrying her like a princess. She wrinkles her nose. “Well, good night.” 

“I thought you were going to take a bath?” Daeron says. “It was too good to be true.” 

“Yes, I'm going to shower. She's coming with me. Enjoy yourselves.” 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

In the two hours that Aegon and Annika have been in a relationship, he has realized that Annika doesn't joke when it comes to a shower. 

“You know,” he says, a towel wrapped around his hips as he finishes brushing his teeth and watches the girl apply lotion. “When I brought you to the shower, I was expecting some sex. You know. Like a honeymoon. Christmas shower sex.” 

She looks at him, her golden curls a bit darker and soaked. She's wearing a pink satin robe. “But look how cute you turned out with the cream bath. And I thought you liked my shower gel.” 

“I smell like lavender,” he says, indignant. “Don't get used to this.” 

“Why would it be so terrible to use shampoo, conditioner, and soap separately?” 

“I'm telling you, my 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and soap are fine. Cosmetics are just an industry that takes advantage of women to make money and destroy our planet.” 

“Alright, Mr. I use my family's private jet to pick up chicks.” 

“Those days are behind me,” he says, shaking wet strands of white hair to splash her. She scoffs, and he takes her by the waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I have my favourite girl with me.” 

“Wait, let me just...” Annika asks when he starts kissing her neck, tickling her. She shifts her shoulder restlessly and leaves her cream on the marble countertop when he unties the robe's knot and runs his hands over her body. “Aegon, stop. I need to dry my hair.” 

“But it's been so long,” he says, turning her around and cornering her against the counter. He helps her jump up and gets between her legs, opening the robe more. Annika smells like lavender, and he does too. It's even a bit comical. 

She takes him by the nape of his neck and pulls him to her lips, kissing him fiercely, as if seeking some kind of animalistic release. Annika hugs him tightly, pressing her naked chest against his, while Aegon's hands grip her thighs so firmly she's sure he'll leave a mark. 

She could cry. “I missed you,” she murmurs on his lips. 

He smiles mischievously, reaching her wet centre. She squirms every time he gives her the attention she needs, tracing small circles on her clit. 

“I need you so bad,” he gasps, feeling her tighten against his fingers. 

Then Annika experiences a moment of enlightenment and leans back. “Wait. I'm not on the pill.” 

Aegon blinks, as hard as he can. “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“No, I stopped taking them since...” 

“I don't have condoms,” he curses, resting his forehead on her shoulder. 

“How do you not have condoms?” 

“No, I already used them,” he replies without thinking. She lets out a heavy sigh through her nose, and he raises his gaze a bit embarrassed. “I didn't know you were coming. You know I was trying to...” 

“I don't care,” she cuts him off, breathing a bit calmer but still agitated as if coming down from a moment of ecstasy. “Ask Daeron.” 

“Don't you think it's a bit humiliating?” 

“To Logan, then.” 

“Annika! I don't want to think about him having condoms. He's my sister's boyfriend.” 

She rolls her eyes. “I also have an older brother, and I doubt he'd make such a fuss when I tell him you're my boyfriend.” 

Aegon shudders, but a smile appears on his face. “I'm sure Rhys will love to hear the news.” 

“Your mother will be happy.” 

“Of course, she loves you more than she loves me,” he tells her and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Listen, I could just...” 

“It's not going to happen. Get me condoms,” she orders, pushing him away from her body and tying the robe again. “Go, while I dry my hair.” 

“God, give me patience,” he murmurs, leaving the bathroom for his room to put on a change of clothes and lose all his dignity heading to his younger brother's room. 

He walks stealthily and knocks on the door a couple of times, swaying on the spot. Daeron opens the door, a bit surprised. “Hey, what's up?” 

“Here goes nothing, I guess... By any chance, do you have... You know...?” His brother looks at him impatiently, and he sighs. “I ran out of condoms.” 

“Oh,” he avoids laughing. “Wait a second.” 

He closes the door in Aegon's face, missing his nose by just a few millimeters. A few seconds later, he opens it again, only showing his head and extends his arm to give him a small box. “Have fun.” 

“Ribbed? Are you kidding me, Daeron?” Aegon sighs when he reads the box, putting his hand to his head. Listen, if I come back with this, Annika will make me sleep on the stairs, and I won't have sex. Don't you have something simpler?” 

“What do you think I am? A pharmacy? Get your own stuff,” Daeron mentions and closes the door in his face again. 

He returns to his room, almost dejected. He's had enough, and it doesn't even occur to him to knock on Aemond's door. He finds Annika with her hair tied up and folded over her head with a strange device, wearing the same pajamas from the night before. 

“Did you get the stuff?” 

“Um...” he tosses her the little box. She quickly reads and returns it the same way, shaking her head. 

“That is not going anywhere near me, let alone inside” she replies. “Sorry, champ. We can always do other things. Fun things.” 

“Like what?” He asks, tempted by the idea. Annika approaches him and pushes him onto the bed, straddling him. She gives him a kiss on the lips and moves to his ear. 

“Well, I could return the favour from the other night...” 

“God,” he almost pleads, in a tone of voice resembling a whine. His cock twitches beneath her, expectant, and Annika doesn't take much longer to kneel in front of him and play with the elastic of his pajama pants. “Annika, please do something already.” 

“Well. Tell me you love me first,” she teases, stroking him over the fabric. 

“I love you,” he says, leaning down to give her a kiss on the forehead. “You're the best, and you're the queen of the whole world and the universe.” 

“You know me so well,” she purrs before lowering his pants and taking him into her mouth. 

Aegon growls when she strokes the wet tip with her agile tongue, feeling like a teenager knowing he won't last long because she knows exactly what to do. How to take it all, how to sink her cheeks, how to use her hand, and how to caress other parts of him. 

Unconsciously, he tries to tangle his hand in her hair, and she slaps him and stops pleasing him. “Hey. No. I'm trying these heatless curls. It took me a lot.” 

“Are you kidding me?” he complains, furrowing his brow. “But...” 

"Shh, it’s fine," she hushes him, taking his hands and intertwining them with hers, using only her mouth. He groans impatiently, and it doesn't take much longer for him to release in her mouth. She takes every drop, and he doesn't even get a chance to say anything before Aegon has her pinned against the mattress, kissing her lips and making her laugh. 

“You're so...” he says but gets interrupted by a knock on the door. “Oh, fuck. And now what?” 

“Maybe it's Santa,” she jokes, hitting his arm to get him off her. Aegon adjusts his clothes, just like she does, and it's she who heads to the door. 

“If he doesn't have a box of condoms, tell him I'll kick his ass back to the South Pole through the chimney,” he says, settling on the bed. 

“North. Santa lives in the North Pole,” Floris corrects when Annika opens the door. She looks distraught, with a red nose and teary eyes. 

“Are you okay? What's wrong?” Annika asks, taking her arm and ushering her into the room. She strokes Floris's hair, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, talk to me...” 

Floris doesn't speak; she just bursts into tears and hugs Annika. 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

It's late, and while everyone seems to be asleep, Aegon and Annika remain awake in silence. He shifts uncomfortably on the hard floor, sighing and raising his torso to observe Annika sitting against the back of her bed while Floris sleeps peacefully in her arms. He gave them some space as they spoke quietly, but then joined the conversation and told Annika she could stay there for the night. 

“Still awake?” He asks, although he knows she is. 

“It's hard to sleep,” she replies. “I really hate your brother.” 

“Do you think she'll be okay?” Aegon asks, referring to Floris. Annika carefully moves her from his arms to the other end of the bed, and when she returns to her place, he climbs into the bed on the other side and lies down on her. Annika looks at him tiredly. “What? It's my turn.” 

She rolls her eyes and runs her hand through his hair, adjusting it so he doesn't crush her chest. “She'll be fine, eventually. But I can't go to San Francisco with you when we leave here. She needs me right now.” 

“I understand,” he replies, lifting his head. “Are you going back to New York?” 

“I want Floris to settle in. Helaena is going back to London to see your family, and we'll all meet again on New Year's,” she explains. Aegon nods. “You can come with us.” 

“To New York?” 

“Yes. You know, you could help us move Floris's furniture around.” 

He laughs. “You're asking me to move in with you.” 

“No, I'm asking you to come with me so we can go back home together later. My apartment is big, and it'll just be Floris and me,” she tells him. “I don't plan on making you leave your life in San Francisco for me. And right now, she really needs me.” 

Aegon sighs. “I feel like we're married. We're not having sex, and we have a child to take care of in our bed. We're skipping a lot of steps.” 

“Or we already had a lot of sex,” she laughs, giving him a kiss on the forehead. Aegon squeezes her waist. “It's the least I can do for her.” 

“Well, of course, you both need a male presence. I have friends in New York. Maybe we can introduce her to one.” 

“She'd hate your friends.” 

“But I want to reconnect with them. Show them the hot girlfriend I got...” 

“The girlfriend you got?” She teases. “Oh, God. You're a weirdo.” 

“I am,” he says, leaning up to give her a brief kiss on the lips. “And so you'll have to put up with me for the rest of the week, roomie.” 

“Floris will be thrilled.” 

“We'll get her earplugs because I have no intention of giving you a break.” 

“It’s a promise, then.” 

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟 

Christmas morning unfolds with a surprising sense of normality. There are several miracles to be thankful for, such as Annika helping prepare breakfast and, as the road was clear, Logan and Helaena making an early trip to fetch provisions. This allowed Daeron to enjoy his Christmas-themed pancakes (or something resembling them, as they were made by Annika). 

Floris looks a bit sad, but occasional hugs from Helaena or Annika manage to bring a smile to her face. Additionally, Annika accidentally tripped and spilled her hot chocolate on Aemond's Christmas sweater, also known as the last clean piece of clothing he had for his stay. 

“How clumsy. My foot still hurts. Whoops.” 

Aemond says nothing, just giving her a friendly punch on the arm. Despite any lingering resentment between them, they laugh, at least for now. Everyone could have returned to their homes, different states, or countries, but they chose to stay. 

“You know what I think?” Daeron says, helping set the table. “We should make this our own Christmas tradition.” 

“I think what made it special was that it wasn't planned,” Floris replies. “I mean, 80% of us were deceived.” 

“I can't believe you didn't see it coming,” Helaena says. “I fooled two of the smartest people I know. Does that make me the smartest one here, then?” 

“Wouldn't you like that,” Aemond smirks. “But you come pretty close. Maybe third place.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Aegon complains. “You wish you were as beautiful as Annika and me.” 

“You're not even close to her level, Aegon. She's too pretty for you,” Daeron tells him. 

“Still in love with her?” He teases, and Daeron crosses his arms, while Annika passes behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders. 

“He's still my favourite, and now I have a new favourite,” Annika says, putting one of her hands on Willa's shoulder. “I really hope you guys come to visit us.” 

“I just hope it's not like the visit we paid Aegon,” Willa recalls. 

“Of course not. I'm more fun.” 

“Alright, sit down already,” Logan asks when the table is set again. Everyone takes their places as the night before, and he raises his cup of hot chocolate. “Merry Christmas, guys. Thanks for including me.” 

“We haven't included you yet; it caught us by surprise. The next time we meet, we'll subject you to our initiation ritual,” Daeron explains, looking the most horrified at the idea of his sister's new boyfriend. 

“He's right. Are you free on New Year's?” Aegon asks seriously, and Annika kicks him under the table. 

“Enough nonsense, and let's try Annika's pancakes,” Helaena suggests, with a smile. “She got up very early to make them.”��

“Yes, I did. And I broke a nail in the process,” she says, embarrassed. “So if you find a nail, don't be surprised.” 

Floris grimaces and wrinkles her nose when she sees the pancake that simulates a deformed star. “I love you, but maybe learning to make pancakes should be a New Year's resolution for you.” 

“You demand too much from me.” 

Everyone laughs, creating a warm atmosphere despite the cold outside. Aegon looks around and feels truly fortunate to have these people with him. If he had to go back a few weeks and were offered the chance to live out his initial plans instead of this Christmas fiasco, he wouldn't change it in a million years. But that's not something he'd tell them. They know already. 

And, as Daeron said, he really hopes they can repeat it next Christmas and make it their own tradition, away from their parents, although he doubts it will be as special as this one. 

“Annika!” Helaena yells, as everyone spits out the pancakes in disgust. “You put salt instead of sugar!” 

“Oh, no.” 

Well, perhaps he could use a less-special Christmas.

#christmas au #aegon ii targaryen #helaena targaryen #aemond targaryen #daeron targaryen #targtowers #hotd morden au #team green #fanfic #aegon targaryen fic #aegon targaryen smut #annika lannister #asoiaf #hotd #got #aegon ii fanfic #aemond targaryen x oc

[nanjokei]

same anon here, incredibly interested in the history from someone who lived through it

ok!

here's my own rundown on why the vocaloid bubble burst in the mid 2010s!

almost irreversibly! (don't worry— this story has a happy ending)

if anyone is wondering, yes, you can reblog this! i only say this because this took a lot of work to write so if anyone feels compelled, yes, stroke my ego a bit, i allow such a thing. now, i might get snippy here and there, but i'm not serious at all. my sense of humor is pretty tsukkomi-ish and it shows up in how i describe things. <-disclaimer for if this post breaks containment because i know fandom types don't like my sense of humor if they're not given the context that i LOVE what i'm talking about and rib on it out of utmost adoration

as a disclaimer, i do lightly look things up to check on stuff timeline wise and its validity, but this is from my own point of view and memory and a personal retelling, so if you have a different take on it then i'm sure our viewpoints can co-exist. also, i speak about utaite from the point of view of someone who respects their existence but does not participate. so if a few facts are off... i am speaking only from the aspect of what relates to what i'm talking about. also if there are any typos i stopped being thorough with my checking and editing like 4k words in since i am not being paid to write this, it is just for fun. anyways~

so where we wanna start here is before the big bubble era. i think most people would agree that it was in full swing around mid 2012, but i'll set the date at september 23, 2011. the posting of the song kagerou daze (by the way, as a testament to how much of a boomer i am, despite being an kagepro fan from the start i find myself still using the "kagerou days" romanization by accident every time). by the way, senbonzakura, one of the biggest vocaloid songs ever for the longest time, was posted only a few days earlier. just to paint a picture. but that's not the only thing... i think what we want to look at especially is the end of the vocaloid2 era and what was going on during and before. the final vocaloid2 product, vy2, was released on april 25th, 2011. in this timeline, there are a few angles i wanna focus on. the state of the culture, its spread, utaite and producers. by the way, if i had to date when i met vocaloid, it was around 2008. right before gakupo came out, maybe.

around this time, the culture of vocaloid-ke (vocaloid family) type secondary works were falling out of fashion. 2010 and before, i feel that vocaloid had a strong image of nico nico douga especially— not that it didn't during the bubble era. but i mean the people participating. when miku came out, people viewed her as a novelty while still thinking to themselves they had stumbled across something special. there was no subculture like that before, and the closest counterpart to this was idolmaster. now, many know this is the origin of the -P suffix came from. it's a tossed around factoid now but people should know that it was certainly a phenomena back then. and a LOT of early miku adopters (like 80% were either already in the doujin music scene, the DTM (desktop music) scene, trained musicians or even some industry pros. and a lot of these people were nerdy and geeky and loved anime and games and manga so of course their first point of reference for building vocaloid's identity was idolmaster. touhou, idolmaster's next door neighbor, also had a lot of influence given many of the music people in its scene dabbled in vocaloid early on. so naturally the fans that were attracted to vocaloid were also nerds. at first there were only cryptonloids, but gakupo quickly followed (and continuing in the trend of heavy nnd association— kentaro miura (RIP), a big fan of nnd and especially idolmaster— designed and drew his art 100% pro bono out of love for the site and its culture). luka came out... i think gumi was the first shift. gumi just felt, different. i personally owe it to her being modeled after ranka lee, the iconic role of her voice provider, megumi nakajima— ranka lee was the underdog character in her source macross frontier's love triangle. so i feel like that image somewhat imprinted itself on gumi. gumi was not popular at first at all. her release came and went with not much fanfare. ironically the aspect of rivalry would come back under stuff like the miku vs gumi debate. this is probably the first real demonstration of "it doesn't matter how good the voice is, it matters who uses it and how that propagates the voice".

and so i arrive at the producers of the time, maybe late 2008 early to mid 2009, the newcomers. the ones that weren't necessarily otaku through and through, but more on the "teenagers who like vocaloid and/or don't have a singer to sing for them, and want to make music". i will be specific and say it is people like wowaka (RIP), deco*27 and hachi/kenshi yonezu specifically. wowaka for example had a very fresh take— his pvs deemphasized the vocaloid, but it also inspired many fan pvs because of it. i will not go into how it became ironic that he quit due to the attribution to the voice. but his moody lyrics captured a lot of hearts and his style carried a youth to it. hachi did a lot of his own artsy pvs. deco*27 was very unpolished and amateur but his music was VERY of the times. the synths, the guitar, very youthful. aside from wowaka, whose comeup immediately led to him getting signed quickly (and the guy himself just walked and i don't blame him) i think what made these guys (deco and hachi) stand out from the rest in the end is one thing: they picked up gumi. and this set them apart from the old and dusted otaku who didn't pick gumi up, or those who picked her up thinking of her only as ranka lee. mozaik role (still deco's most viewed song on nnd btw, with no sign of stopping. and he is clearly PISSED about it). matryoshka. all that kibs of noise. by the way, matryoshka's stint in the vocaloid rankings went unchallenged until it was finally killed by senbonzakura. that's a good two years of dominance!! a lot of the breakout stars or people who got more popular during 2010 used gumi, i'm talking your 40mPs, your sasakure.UKs, your buzzGs. incidentally, a lot of these people got signed... most for their vocaloid stuff. 40mP, sasakure, deco, kous and others were signed under label split-offs like U/M/A/A. wowaka and hachi... were signed for themselves. specifically, wowaka and his band hitorie, and hachi as himself kenshi yonezu.

but producers were not the only ones being signed. utaite, who had been a thing before even vocaloid was a thing, found themselves growing rapidly due to them increasingly participating in the culture as both fans and beneficiaries. personally, i split off utaites eras as "before piko and akiakane" and "after piko and akiakane". the before era included people who either started very early on when vocaloid became a thing on nnd, or started before it (participating in chorus medleys or posting utattemita videos of anison for example, like gero). it was all amateur and everyone was doing it for fun... but the record companies doth lurk around the vocaloid scene at this rate. akiakane and piko i pick specifically because they were the first utaite who were very publically signed. piko was signed under sony's ki/oon records! akiakane had two or three big albums under the subsidary of VAP, toy's factory (if you wanna have fun take a look at the list of talent they rep). piko is especially important— as he had a vocaloid made of him. this marked first big interest of corporations and large record companies to actually enter the vocaloid space— in the most direct way possible. btw, the reason piko the vocaloid is dead is because piko the person is no longer signed under sony. it's not outright confirmed, but piko the guy stopped tweeting about utatane piko the second he transferred labels. he is stuck in a weird catch 22 he probably will never be free of, though yamaha is doing some insane moves lately, i wonder if they'd ever try to buy the character out and revive him as a stunt. (they are doing many funny stunts lately. but a subject for another time.)

finally, my last point in this preamble is the interest in telling stories through vocaloid had only continued to grow. i think the two biggest early examples were the prisoner series by shujinP and the ever so infamous evillious chronicles by mothy. their explosive popularity is wholeheartedly owed to rin and len— ok this is a tangent but this is the genius of the rin and len package, that to this day was never replicated, they come together as you know and since they are male and female with no set setting, they are an easy buy and you can make a story because you can do two points of view across several songs... like literally. its paperplane vs prisoner. daughter of evil vs servant of evil. and their fans were and continue to be super passionate. it's great, we would be missing a huge chunk of what makes vocaloid subculture what it is without them. of course, shujinP's series (plural because they had several) is less known these days but it was probably the first series to get plays and novels and all that. quickly followed by EC. later came series like sasakure's doomsday series, stuck in a limbo between old and new era (most of the songs released in the old era but the novelization and such came out during the new), and a few "outsider" series like numtack05/putinP's series (the reasons this never got popular is because it was absurdist and shitpost-y and involved too much political imagery, not only that but also because putinP used a lot of copyright samples (most famously ronald mcdonald and sazae-san clips)— the freely distributed album vers omit these samples entirely and i can confirm the songs are worse for it)

so to give a summary of the above section

the tastes of fans were maturing

there was a shift in how vocaloid was perceived

the growing influence of utaite

the growing interest of big corpos in the scene

the growing interest in storytelling using vocaloid as a medium

anyway, here comes the real deal. and... it's gonna be a mess. just like the era itself was. i hope you're ready, at least.

even the very first echo of vocaloid3 felt kinda corpo-y. it wasn't, but.. looking back. it kind of felt like it. the first time we ever found out about v3 was through a leak of seeU's demo— but it was a work in progress leak, so it had the voice of her provider dahee kim singing along. people had no idea so they assumed this was the capability of the software. it was exciting! kpop was just starting to get popular, and we were getting a new vocaloid software, with korean capability!!!

anyway. we're not talking about the can of worms that was seeU.

not just because of dahee kim. but because it's not related beyond this. also the fact that korean fans were heavily and horribly mistreated by the majority japanese fandom for obvious reasons. i do not have the depths to speak on that stuff, but it says a lot that the software's first big swing ended up like that.

but i wanted to illustrate the mood of the fans going into this era. it was full of hopes and dreams. now, i don't want any wannabe know-it-alls wagging their fingers at me and checking the wikia going "b-but cullen, mew also came out!! at the same time!!" the seeU leak came out first. i remember there were fights over whether or not that demo was real. it was a cultural shift like no other. who the fuck cares about mew? literally her only legacy is one really amazing ezfg song. i will not debate anyone on this btw. i try to be objective but i'm allowed to inject a bit of my own opinion here too. you know who were also full of hopes and dreams? the companies. not your internetcos and your ahsofts, no, i'm talking publicly traded shits and record companies. look... i'm coming off harsh. i actually don't hold that much animosity, but you're gonna see why this was the first huge misstep of the era.

nice picture, right? this was the kind of optimism we started off this era on. but, i'll break down the picture for you in a way that helps illustrate a point somewhat:

your girlies from V2 like gumi (who was this era's it girl), lily, galaco (even if her shitty V2 version is contest only)

your earnest newcomers mew (look, even yamaha girlies count), cul, aoki lapis, seeU (one could argue.), IA (one could argue...)

tone rion of dear stage (who represented dempagumi inc., the group her voice provider came from, though this was a myth for years until it was proven... also it was clear they wanted to make the rest of dempagumi into vocaloids but rion flopped at the time. there was even a picture of her friends floating around. astoundingly embarrassing confidence. one billion dead vocaloids.)

akikoloid-chan of lawsons (yes, the convenience store! she is a vocaloidification of their mascot and i would argue the poster child of the modern brand private vocaloid. she was retired in uh.. 2019 i wanna say? though she was dormant for a long time anyway)

ring suzune, the aborted failure of minna no vocalo keikaku (everyone's vocalo-project)... this one involves a lot of otona no jijou AKA adult circumstances (japanese corpo's favorite excuse. you will now notice this phrase every time you hear it oooo). just unfortunate all around

yuzuki yukari of vocalomakets, i put her in a separate category because she really is a girlie of her own. a vocal born from producers being dissatisfied that their wants weren't being answered and no company was taking them up, they just went "fuck it" and produced yukari on their own. a huge outlier in this era of vanity projects and companies using the scene for their own crap.

not pictured, but i have to mention her due to her complicated position in this era, but mayu of exit tunes. exit tunes is a record label that heavily supported vocaloid and utaite during this era, signing both producers and utaite, and making compilation cds of popular vocaloid hits. and probably saw to it that due to their dominance in the area of compilation cds (and they still dominate, even if their releases are sparse these days their cds still top oricon without effort), them sneaking mayu into the tracklists would work... my thoughts on this? my position has softened a lot over the years. and i've always thought "they gave up right before she organically caught on, they should have kept pushing. so what a shame".

now you may notice i bolded a few of these and made special mention of the companies behind them. you probably already figured it out, but this era had heavy investment from parties who had only to gain from a rapidly growing niche subculture. see, unlike the other two of nnd's big three idolmaster and touhou, who are IPs where you need some kind of cooperation to officially get in on, vocaloid... is incredibly free, so laissez faire in comparison. you buy a 9,000 dollar dev kit and get to work making your mascot. it was... so easy. so free. so sweet. but real life is not so easy, or free, or sweet. you actually had to be accepted by the fans, and like i said before... the voice does not matter. what matters is who uses it, and how that propagate the voice. this is true time and time again. it is the ultimate "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!" of the scene from a commercial standpoint. no matter how many years pass. ergo, one billion dead vocaloids. corpo vocaloids were releasing and they flopped immediately. earnest products from newcomers were dropping and struggling, though def doing better than the corpo ones (like lapis, lapis did ok). existing "in crowd" companies were vomiting out new vocals and not even promoting them. it was a disgusting era of excess and death and bile and plague and war and and and. it's astounding that it is hard carried by the art that came out of it. because if you only look at the commercial side of things, it is fucking disgusting.

now, onto the fan aspect. remember when i said this era truly kicked off when kagerou daze came out? yup. here it comes. so, anyone lived through this era remembers the cambrian explosion of original projects that did not make use of vocaloid mascots— arguably the final death knell of vocaloid-ke secondary works being the mainstream.

now, i'm planting my flag in the ground here very firmly— i do not ride the bandwagon of the people who erroneously attribute the near death of the scene to kagepro. it's just not true. personally i have a very complicated (bordering on near sort of but not quite negative, depending on how nostalgic i feel that day) relationship with the series, but to blame it is incredibly narrowminded and ignorant of the actual reasons the bubble burst, and not to mention unfair. if you find it annoying, fine. but just say you don't like the series and move on. and really, for better or for worse, mekakucity days and mekakucity records are unironically god tier vocaloid albums that will be remembered for years to come. i just have to say this because i see a lot of people blame jin for very flimsy reasons... SHUT UP!!! anyway.

i think one of the issues with the whole project culture that flourished during this era was simply the fact that since they were multimedia projects (whether by accident like kagepro or intentionally from the get), fans were coming from all angles, and even those who got into it through vocaloid eventually became super mega invested in them as separate IPs. which is... unfortunately an issue. so when these properties eventually spun off into manga, light novels, covers with real seiyuu, merch and ultimately some even netting anime projects... once those projects either abruptly ended (lol, lmao, this will come back later) or reached their natural conclusion, inevitably a lot of those fans either leave with it or found themselves burned out on vocaloid itself, or perhaps even think they've outgrown it.

next, utaite. now i mentioned a bit earlier about how the first batch of utaite were amateurs who didn't expect anything out of it and did it just cause, and how exit tunes signed a lot of them in this era. now, comes the time i speak about utaite "after piko and akiakane". i believe due to a generational gap and subconsciously perhaps due to the signing of a few utaite from the old guard at this point, the nu utaite of the 2010s had a sort of individuality to them... this isn't an insult, and a large part of their popularity actually came from them always collaborating and a lot of them ending up befriending each other. again, i'm an outsider, but i understand this much. but this era for utaite was the beginning of the idea that an utaite can become a superstar. in the end, very few of them did become superstars.

a lot of them naturally returned to a normal level of popularity after the bubble. there aren't a lot of your AtRs or your amatsukis and such. the smart ones became vtubers before being a vtuber was cool. to give an example: un:c and hashiyan who are arguably oldheads more than nu era became anjo and kosaka of monsterz mate. this isn't a doxx btw, this is publically available information, and un:c often credits himself as a mixer under projects he does as anjo. also, a certain duo of female utaite whose names i will not mention went on to form the super popular vtuber duo himehima. there are other early adopters like kano and god knows who else that i don't feel like mentioning. anyway, if your utaite did it after 2018 and under their own identity it is a desperate plea for attention. sorry but it's just the objective truth. tangent over... did you think i wasn't gonna shoehorn vtubers into this somehow?! anyway.

even sutopuri who got mega popular, only really formed after the vocaloid bubble burst, perhaps even as a result of it. utaite had a positive effect on the vocaloid scene and still do. but at the time, i think it was at its strongest. utaite NEEDED vocaloid, and vocaloid benefitted greatly from their continued patronage and love for it. i for one will not be caught slandering utaite and their relationship with vocaloid even if i will always prefer the vocaloid versions. the issue here comes from the fact that way too many were signed without much star factor (i'm not disparaging them, i'm just saying they did not hold their audience across the mediums), and even at that their fans splintered off into many tribes and many weren't really into vocaloid in the first place and were more into the livestreams and twitter banter. that's just how things shook out. you even have your reols and such, as reol was the face but in a sense her, gigaP and okiku were a set and gigaP left the scene to focus on commercial work with those two. too many of them got signed and splintered off into their own little fandoms before THOSE fandoms kind of died out. so this is another part where fans disappear and lose interest. you're starting to see the pattern here, right?

there's so much stuff i thought i would touch on, like how gumi was the undisputed it girl of the scene at this time, and how kagepro rose IA to prominence (all because jin wanted to buy gumi but didn't find her in the store) and how IA's people 1st place locked certain producers in their basement (like jin, yasuhiro, ishifuro etc) and... now this is a conspiracy on my part but prevented them from working on anything else, so that drew more talent away from the scene... but i realized it's tangential and belongs to other parts in this conversation. i want to reiterate here though before we go on to the biggest elephant in the room of all which would be the point of no return... there is more to the vocaloid bubble era of 2012-2015 than projects, than corpo and record company bullshit, than utaite fans. and there is more to the era before that than the top brass producers i mentioned earlier. i really... really lament how so much of early vocaloid reuploads are gone from youtube. there's a whole world just gone. so, anyway, are you ready?

the final block in this weird jenga of a story.

the producer, suzumu, and his unfortunate associates.

i will cut to the chase because it's easier to explain who was involved once i say what happened. to put it shortly... suzumu "stole" his songs. this is weird and vague and i always hated the way people used polite euphemisms to explain it because it made the situation way more confusing than it had to be— he used his producer friends as ghostwriters to compose songs for him, basically. and was very not nice about it according to one of the people involved. now i will probably adopt a somewhat sympathetic angle that people who have previously heard of this case may have not encountered before. not because i feel bad for that fuck, but because it seems like at least one of the people impacted has forgiven him, and others have moved on in less obvious ways. he's also professionally making music in the industry now. as much as i want to keep up the act of disliking him, i don't care anymore. i still dislike what he did immensely because it impacts producers i love to this day. but the man came forth about it himself and those involved forgave him. it's been almost a decade now... man!

suzumu, before getting into posting songs (who knows how many were actually his and which were ghostwritten), was a prolific lyric writer who worked with some of the trendiest vocaloid producers around. i'll cross gigaP out, since he was not involved in the incident, but almost every single person involved in this had worked with him in a lyric or story writing capacity (for 150P and komine specifically). here are the involved parties as i recall, bolded are people who he "stole" from

mafumafu, the person who spoke the most about it post suzumu's confession and the most vocal, and likely the person who was used as a ghostwriter the most (i don't recall if he actually alludes to this or not but people commonly think this). mafumafu had a series of vocaloid songs that told a story, but stopped using vocaloid after the incident for a while and songs that were going to get pvs from his first vocaloid album were not posted. he contributed a song called machigai sagashi for the vocaloid flavored moba #compass in 2015, but it seems like that song was probably in the works since before the incident for reasons i will highlight in a moment. suzumu wrote the lyrics for only one of the songs. iirc, mafumafu's song berserk is about suzumu. don't remember if this is confirmed or not. btw, the album of those songs, meikyou shisui, is really underrated and you should check it out. im not a mafu guy but that album is great

kemu, the person who is arguably closest to suzumu and the one who most publicly supported suzumu (albeit wordlessly) in later years by working with him professionally. when i mention someone forgiving suzumu, i mean him. suzumu wrote the lyrics for most of his kemu voxx songs, a famous multimedia project kemu was on the helm of along with hatsuko as the main illustrator. since kemu no longer had a lyricist, the project stalled for years until he posted a song suddenly in 2017 (with self written lyrics). it seems like the series is continuing still, but with a different direction

150P, who worked with suzumu heavily for his shuuen no shiori (bookmark of demise) project, a project that was conceived from the start to be a story. this part makes me really mad, guys!! i'll try to keep calm about it. 150P wrote over 50 songs (idk if this is an actual number but he wrote a lot. at least 40.) for the series, with suzumu writing the story and lyrics. the character designs were done by saine (who dodged a bullet all things considered.) and the art was done by komine. 150P was already doing crazy things before shuuenpro, his most popular song is still his insane 12-len classical metal chorus song lost destination. now shuuenpro caught on slower than its peers and was an underdog. i LOVE shuuenpro to this day. you know what? right when it was finally getting its first W, when the album that had seiyuu covers at come out on oricon in third place, suzumu dropped his confession. what a slap to the fucking face!! the manga of the series hastily wrapped up after that. 150P and komine disappeared and no longer did stuff ever. 150P recently appeared for a mafumafu anniversary thing so i'm glad he's still alive. but, komine...

komine, the only non-producer, an artist with the worst luck. she was slowly rising to prominence doing pv art for a lot of popular producers, and was the main artist of shuuenpro most prominently. during the initial release of the first few shuuenpro songs, she was accused of tracing, and the art of the pv of sarumane isutori game had to be done by someone else. komine stopped using social media at that point, but continued to make art for the project quietly and quite prolifically. so she was already on some kind of fraught standing even though the tracing allegations were disproven. fast forward to the suzumu blowup, komine packed up her bags and disappeared forever. if she had become disillusioned, i do not blame her. her final public contribution was the design of jeanne d'arc from #compass, the character who was paired with the mafumafu song. all subsequent artworks of jeanne were done by different artists. i suspect the reason the vocaloid version of machigai sagashi did not have a proper pv was due to komine quitting. i can only imagine what that pv looked like! if you're wondering why i mention a pv, it's cuz compass fans got mad at mafu for having a fancy pv for his self cover but not for the original. but otona no jijou, you know? and where is that energy for eve who still hasn't released a pv for mistletoe publicly and only put it on his kuso app and with 0 compass association? who let that wishy washy fuck do an anniversary song? ...im not gonna go on a compass tangent. anyway.

so... why does this matter?

it matters because people became disillusioned due to this drama. it matters because suzumu took out some very popular and prolific people from the scene during what one could argue was a transitional phase. the fans of all those people, including suzumu's... gone. if you weren't there, you may not understand the cult of personality suzumu had. he had his name on everything and was friends with all the right people. when i heard about this incident... i just closed my eyes and sighed lol. it hurt and it hit when the scene was at its weakest. and was the final blow, almost. and it impacted the way people saw and talked about vocaloid for years. miku became "owakon" for a time. people thought kizuna ai was gonna replace her as a cultural touchstone (lol, lmao, it is proven time and time again that the big three cannot die). kenshi yonezu, in all his detached glory, came down from his jeweled encrusted throne to compose a song for miku's 10th birthday that he smugly thought was the death knell of nico nico douga.... which even at the time of its release was contested by even people who were on the same miku anniversary project and, whether you wanna acknowledge it or not, is still mocked to this day by several producers. magical mirai's theme this year even does it. there is no respect for sand planet or anything kenshi yonezu stood for in that song. what an asshole move no matter how you see it. argue with the wall if you don't agree, i don't want to hear it. the scene survived because there were producers and artists and fans who still loved it. not because of some sardonic fuckoff song by a guy so detached he'd write a funeral march for a birthday.

these days, i feel like the community is incredibly conscious of what happened. there are wanton community led events that encourage not only the creation of songs, covers, art and secondary creations but also the discovery of new producers— the biggest of which being vocaloid collection, which happens three times a year and has many categories, but most importantly the top ranking (producers active for 3+ years) and the rookie ranking. i once read a japanese article that said proseka brought new fans hungry for something beyond the music presented in the game, and vocacolle and other community led events and song posting festivals supplied the works. the average age of the new vocaloid producer is— and this is my own estimate based on how many heart attacks i've been given the past 3 or 4 years— 17~19 years old. they say things like "i know of kagepro but i wasn't there"!! should i get my cane out!! who's driving me to the retirement home?!

even companies involved in the product end are more savvy these days.... (holding my tongue about a certain company of a popular synth software and its ceo because i have nothing nice to say). i think they realized that you can't clap with one hand and that appealing to the end user and fans is a necessity. honestly, i can only be excited for what comes next. we're never going back to that dark age, i can say this with utmost confidence. do i miss the past of the times before the bubble, back when vocaloid was a smidge more geeky? sure. but we can only really move forward, so why not enjoy it

#ask #anonymous #it came up to over 5k after all #idk how i clocked that. #im so scared to post this but i cant even read words anymore so if it still has typos then so be it

[amarias-yandere-blog]

Ningguang w/ a darling that has depression and struggles trying to get up from bed and do basic things, especially with eating ?

Sorry if it’s a bit much I’ve been struggling lately but take ur time, and if you can’t get to this one, it’s okay — hope you’re having a wonderful trip in AZ! <3

First of all, this isn't too much at all! Your so valid and I completely understand that basic things can take up energy that we just don't have.

Remember that though things are hard right now, it's always worth fighting for, and that it won't be hard in the future. Even if it takes a day, a week, or years, I promise it will get better. This is a reminder to everyone that you're loved, appreciated, and needed. You're all one of my precious followers and readers, and without you guys, I wouldn't be as successful or known as I am right now.

Notes: The reader is not specified, but I did write this with a more-feminine reader bc I myself am female. Remember that I don't condone forceful feedings, actions, or anything that causes someone else pain, discomfort, or guilt. If you are in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, please realize that it is not a healthy relationship and that you deserve so much better.

Also this was answered super duper late and I'm really sorry but I hope you enjoyed it just the same!

Please enjoy!!

💛✨💛✨

I don't know if I can do this

The bed was hot, heavy and comforting.

It was everything that she was not. Despite a warm smile, curved eyes filled with love, sweet words, they were like wisps of clouds across your skin, dampening your mood and making you feel untethered.

But she did try. You appreciated it, really. It just... felt like a lie. Your head couldn't accept it, that she did try, that she wanted to be around you. That she made time for you.

But her hands were cold and light and delicate. Just like the fabric that hugged her abundant curve, like the lipgloss covering her soft lip, delicate and light and untethered, much like her palace in the sky.

"Y/n?" The deep, fine grain voice announced the appearance of the Tianquan. You hummed. Pulling the covers across your head, you decided that you wished for a weight that Ningguang could not provide.

Lofty. Idealistic. Someone who didn't understand how you felt. Soft breaths clouded the air, making it thick and hard to breath. It was hot. Uncomfortably so. But still you stayed, wishing for peace and alone time. And yet the door somehow opened.

Must've accidentally forgotten to lock the door, you thought, waving off the feeling of uncomfort. A heaviness dipped the bed, someone sitting at your hips, and stroking your head. It was silent.

"Y/n... you need to get up." Ningguang spoke sternly, though it wasn't without care or sweetness. "We've so much to see. Beidou will be coming back from port, and I hear she brought herself a souvenir from Inazuma. And the traveler tells me of-"

"Traveler this, Beidou that, let's do this and that." You interrupted, though it was a whisper compared to her power-edged voice. "I don't care. I don't want to go. I don't want to do anything. I want to be alone." Your voice became numb with bluntness. It didn't sound like you. It sounded lost, like whispers in the snow...

"...You haven't been eating lately." Ninnguang states, clearly talking about your shelves that have been gathering nothing but dust for days now.

"Not hungry." You shrugged, despite the voice rumbling deep in your belly. It was a miracle you still looked like you did, actually.

"Dear... you need to eat." Ninnguang's voice is gentle, but also arrogant. She was clearly worried. It just didn't feel like enough. Nothing felt like enough. "Come on, let's get you ready, and then we can go where ever you like for the evening."

"Why do you even care?" You hadn't meant to blurt the question outloud, but it escaped your lips all the same. She looked at you with disbelief.

"Y/n... It's because you're special to me, of course." The woman said it so softly, so warmly, that it was grounding and lifting all the same. "Now please, get up, I haven't got all day." She returns to her normal attitude, but it is not as irrate now.

"Ok..." You lift the blankets from your head, seeing the white-haired girl for the first time that day.

#yandere headcanons #yandere #female yandere #yandere ningguang #Ningguang yandere #Ningguang #Genshin #Genshin impact #Yandere x reader #yandere x you #genshin ningguang #Ningguang x reader #ningguang x you #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #amaria writes #anon request #anon #requests open

[allaboardthevespa]

All I've Ever Needed

(Warning, some mild spoilers for episode 3 lie ahead in this preamble)

Soooooo episode 3 happened, and honestly, I don't know how to feel. I LOVE where Riya's arc is going and Jake also calmed down, which is good to see. But god Miriam did Tom dirty this ep, and I am kinda starting to worry about Ellie's arc. I mean, if she's doing a villain arc, fair enough, but I'm worried for what this will mean for her friendship with Gabby - reminder that Ellie was the first person who ever made Gabby feel valid? I really don't want things to go awry between them but I'm worried it's an inevitability...

So to cheer myself up I wrote an adorable fluff ficlet featuring them being romantic, cuz I've been starved for that content lol. It's probably not very in character for Ellie knowing what she's been through, but I need some touching cuteness.

Oh yeah, Tess is here too.

--

Outside the Cyan Team's tent, Tess was drawing a night sky. She gazed towards the heavens, and painted drops of white to represent the twinkling stars above her.

Watching her from within the tent, Ellie and Gabby decided to go out to watch their friend.

"Wow, Tess," Gabby chirped as she stepped outside the waterproof tent, getting Tess' attention, "That's such a pretty drawing! You're so good at this!" "Thanks," the dark-haired girl responded with a smile.

All of a sudden an idea appeared in Tess' mind. She took a pale white paint and streaked it gently across the dark blue background, before dabbling a tiny dot ahead of that white streak.

The girls didn't take long to register what Tess had just painted. "Wow," Ellie spoke lightly, "Is that a shooting star?" "What else would it be?" the artist chuckled quietly, before looking to the skies once more, admiring the twinkling stars above her. "Even after a life like mine, I've still wished on a shooting star every time I've seen one. Maybe it's futile, but it's a source of comfort. It always has been." "Aw, I do the very same thing!" giggles the Polish girl, "Every time I see a shooting star, I wish that I could make friends with every animal in the world and make them all happy forever!" She clapped her hands giddily, and Ellie couldn't help but blush at how adorable her girlfriend was being. It felt like, even after the life she'd been through, Gabby's infectious joy was always capable of making her rough life worth dealing with.

Calming down, Gabby sat on the grass and asked Tess, "If you could make a wish right now…what would you wish for?" "Well," the quiet girl considers for a moment, before giving her answer, "I'd wish that Ally and Hunter could find a way to work through their issues and be happy. That's what I want most." Now the Asocial turned to the freckled girl, "What about you, Ellie? If you could wish for anything…what would you wish for?"

Ellie thought for a moment, and soon came up with her response…

"Honestly? I don't need to wish for anything," she said, "Right now, I have everything I want and need." "Wait, huh?" Gabby gasped, "But what about your jo-" Ellie cut her off, giving her girlfriend a warm, loving smile. "That'd be nice, trust me…but I already have everything I could've ever needed in my life…" And with that, Ellie gently put one of her hands on Gabby's cheek, stroking it gently with her fingers. She gazed deeply into the eyes of her beloved Tree Hugger - her one and only Nature Princess.

"And she's right here in front of me."

#disventure camp #disventure camp all stars #disventure camp gabby #disventure camp ellie #disventure camp tess #ellabby #gabellie #spoilers #disventure camp spoilers #mild spoilers #my writing