#i'll likely feel better once i've had breakfast idk.

[adlamu]

i'm in a bad mood rn and it's all because of xwitter ppl thinking and spreading the bs you have to stop writing and making up characters at the age of 30. first of all, writing is the Only thing that i have that people Ever wanna engage with me about, and, second, i am allowed dreams.

#newtrabble #sadboitimez™ #it's also the only thing i'm good that and doesn't require me to Prove my knowledge on a special interest (which is tiring) and isn't... #isn't as intense as i apparently am re: “special interests” (i still don't like that phrasing... #). anyway. yeah i just feel like giving up and never speaking again rn #i'll likely feel better once i've had breakfast idk.

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

Hiii can I request for some percy jackson x daughter of Apollo! (or Asclepius) Reader hcs?

⋆⭒˚.⋆ percy jackson x daughter of apollo! reader hcs

content: percy jackson x daughter of apollo! reader hcs warning: mentions girls w/ trust issues, mentions of shitty exes (the only men you can trust are fictional. when i said date fake men, i meant like ken dolls, not assholes.) language probs author's note: so, i made the executive decision to combine this request with another one that i got about percy with a daughter of apollo but she's got trust issues and isn't super bubbly. so if that was your request, it's also in here!! i just figured i might as well join them. but also idk why this one took sooooo long for me to figure out where i wanted to go with it but i did finally do it and that's what matters lol

seaweed brain and his grumpy sunshine girl

when i tell you it took months for percy to even get this girl to acknowledge him-

she had given up on love a long time ago, being stabbed in the back far too many times

and people tried to warn percy of that

but he liked a challenge

he'd stop by the infirmary with paper cuts and pouty lips at least once a day

"doc y/n, i'm dying, look, i think you can see bone-"

"band aids with cartoon characters are in the left cabinet, jackson," she'd bit out, not even glancing up from her clipboard.

percy's frown but went to get the band aid, completely missing how she'd look up once his back was turned, the smallest smile on her lips before she shook it away.

"hey, so, i heard you're killer with a bow and i could use some tips," he'd try again, running to catch up with her and plastering a dopey smile on his lips.

"kayla's better. i'll set you up for training with her."

"w-what? no, that's alright-"

"i thought you wanted to get better?" the girl questioned, raising a brow at him and glancing over out of the corner of her eye.

he deflated for a moment before sucking in a breath.

"sounds good. thanks."

it wasn't that kayla was a terrible teacher or anything, percy's heart just wasn't in it.

"what's with the pout? you're getting better," kayla told percy as they sat down for a break, percy shrugging as he took a sip of his water.

"it's nothing."

"...she likes those orange chocolates. the ones you that look like oranges and you have to smash apart," kayla admitted with a sigh, crossing her arms and giving percy a pointed look as he choked out his water.

"w-what?! who? i don't even-"

"don't lie to me. apollo, god of truth, remember?"

"okay, you've got me." percy admitted as he hung his head, his cheeks burning

"i know. just...be gentle with her. and travis should be able to sneak the candy into camp for you."

"i have no intentions of hurting her. i've heard...about stuff. she didn't deserve that. thanks, by the way," percy replied as he jumped up, eager to track down the son of hermes.

"anytime, jackson."

a few days later and travis slid percy the goods during breakfast.

his excitement was growing as he approached the standoffish daughter of apollo, who was basking in the sun at the edge of the forest.

"hey, y/n! didn't think i'd see anyone out here," percy started, feigning ignorance as he took a seat next to her, feeling the blazing sun tickle his skin.

he tried not to think about her father watching this happen

"it's pretty quiet out here. or it was," the girl murmured, shooting a pointed look at percy.

"my bad. let me make it up to you," offered percy, holding up the chocolate orange and watching her eyes instantly brighten in excitement

"oh my gods!! that's my favorite chocolate of, like, all time!" she squealed and percy decided in that moment that he'd give an arm and leg to have her that excited every day.

"really?? no way, it's one of my favorites too!!" he lied.

he'd never had it before and even if he had, the chocolates his mom brought home would always be his favorite.

so, the two split the chocolate orange and percy had to act like he enjoyed it even though he hated every bite

like a gentleman, and totally not because he didn't want it, he gave her the last slice

there was a call of y/n's name, something about being needed in the infirmary.

she shared a look with percy, something close to panic in her eyes and he had a feeling he knew why

the last person she got close to like this hurt her and she didn't want to feel that pain ever again

"you know, it's not supposed to be painful. it doesn't have to be," he muttered, seemingly out of nowhere, but they both knew.

she took a few moments to contemplate and she only broke out of thought because of the calling of her name again.

"let's grab breakfast tomorrow and go from there," she whispered, nodding her head like she was confirming to herself too.

when she looked back at the boy, she saw a smile brighter than any sunbeam her father could produce

and she fell just a little bit more in love with him

"can't wait," percy replied, more than happy with baby steps. baby steps still meant they were going forwards

then, unexpectedly, the girl shot forwards and press her lips to his cheek

it seemed to have surprised her too as her eyes were wide when she pulled back and scampered away to the infirmary with promises of tomorrow

and percy was more than willing to wait, as he walked around camp with what looked like a chocolate kiss on his cheek for the rest of the day

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo fandom #percy jackson x reader

[runningfrom2am]

on the one screen in my town; three

summary:

mason’s life with drew was absolutely perfect, she was happier than ever; until everything came crashing down all at once.

tags/warnings:

drew starkey x fem!popstar!oc, drug and alcohol use, death, grief, these tags are not exhaustive, idk i'll add to this as it goes on.

wc: 2.9k

series masterlist

masterlists

The extremely private funeral was only a few weeks later, and Mason was hardly herself anymore. Anyone who knew her could see she was just a shell of herself, hardly there, even when she spoke.

They managed to get a large, private estate in Washington, near her mothers home town, where Mason had grown up. This was perfect for the service, considering it was remote and by exclusive invite only. The last thing anybody wanted was photos or people showing up to ask questions. The media knows almost nothing at this point, just that something has changed and all of Mason's projects have been postponed. Spare, so far, her and Drew's wedding, which was scheduled to take place in two months and thirteen days.

Mason had been counting them down with a childish excitement, but now, as she stands over her mothers coffin, alone, she's dreading it. How can it go on when her mom won't be there to celebrate with them? She can't even imagine it.

"Mason.." She looks up quickly, turning to see Drew as he walks up to her. "It's gonna rain, we've got to head out." He says, wrapping an arm around her and kissing the side of her head.

Everyone else has left, including Este and her family, including Drew's parents, who were kind enough to make the trip from North Carolina, and including her father; and after waiting in the car for her for forty-five minutes, Drew decided enough was enough. He agreed to give her the time alone, of course he did, he wouldn't dream of saying no; but at this point it's not benefitting her anymore. Or him, to sit in the car and watch from a distance as she shakes and stares into space. It's hard to watch.

"Five more minutes?" Mason requests, not having the heart to look up at him.

"Of course." Drew nods, rubbing her shoulder gently. "I'm gonna stay, though."

She nods, leaning her head on his shoulder, lip quivering as she looks down at the coffin, yet to be buried. It's empty, she knows that, but that doesn't make it any easier for her to walk away.

"Jeez, Mace.." Drew sighs softly. He's never figured out what to say, he had hoped it would come to him eventually, but the only thing he's realized is that there is no right answer. Nothing can bring Catherine back, there is not a thing in the world he could do to make her feel better, and he feels so hopeless. "I miss her." He settles on, wanting her to at least know he kind of understands.

"I don't understand... I don't understand why." Mason chokes out, shaking her head and turning to bury her face in his chest, hugging onto him like her life depended on it. It was a car accident, of all things. Wrong place, wrong time. Why did it have to be her?

Drew just shakes his head. "I don't know. She's not gone, though, hey?" He makes sure she's listening, kissing her head again. "She's gonna haunt us like crazy, she could never leave you." He laughs slightly, trying to make her smile.

It works only a little bit, making Mason laugh slightly through her tears. "True. She's gonna be throwing eggs at me if I forget to eat breakfast." She adds, nodding slightly.

"I don't doubt it for a minute." Drew smiles, craning his neck to try and get a look at her smile. He's missed it, she hasn't smiled in weeks. They haven't really talked about any of this yet, but Drew knows he has to wait until she is ready. She's getting there, he can tell. "Can I take you home? I've got to get you fed before Cath uses her ghost powers to try and make you spaghetti or something."

"No." Mason shakes her head. "I hope she does."

"Okay, well, you can explain your late dinner to her so she doesn't come after me." He chuckles, giving her a gentle squeeze.

Three Years Ago

"Mason! I saw on Twitter that you went on a date this week. Twitter! How dare you not call me first!" Catherine says, excitement clear in her tone as soon as her daughter picks up the phone.

"Hi mom." Mason rolls her eyes playfully, dropping her hand to put it on speaker so Este can hear as well.

"Hi Ellen!" Este says, instantly putting her phone down to join the conversation. When they first met, Este had mistakenly remembered Catherine's name as being 'Ellen', and it was just too funny for the three of them to ever let go.

"You can't distract me! Tell me what's going on." Her mom says, making Mason blush and Este grabs the phone from her.

"Oh my god, Ellen, he's a dreamboat! Okay, so, his name is Drew, they met at that premiere I brought her to. That Netflix show I'm working on, Outer Banks? He's in the show. He plays Rafe."

"Oh yes, right. Okay." Catherine laughs, urging her on as Mason buries her face in her hands, shaking her head with embarrassment. "I haven't seen it yet Este but you know it's on my list."

"Yeah, of course! Anyway, you should have seen them, he was like all over her! I'm pretty sure he pretended to 'accidentally' bump into her so they could talk. It was so cute." Este gushes. "Hold on! There's pictures, I'll send them to you."

She grabs her phone again to find the pictures as Catherine fires questions at them. "What did he say? What's he like? Where did you go? Tell me everything I can't wait another minute!"

"Okay, mom, slow down." Mason intervenes. "It was just one date, it's not like he proposed or something."

"Well sorry for being excited! I didn't know that was a crime." She replies with a sassy tone.

"It's not. I just, I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship, so I don't know if I'll see him again."

"Oh, shut up." Este says, rolling her eyes at her friend. "He's amazing. Seriously, he looks at you like you're the only girl in the world. Don't push him away because you're scared. Brady was a jerk, Drew's not like that."

"Okay but how do you know?"

"Uh, I don't know, maybe because I've worked with him for two years now?"

"No, you haven't, you've worked with Madelyn and Madison for two years. He was just occasionally around."

"Exactly, if there was any red flags about him they would have told me. I know all the tea, trust." Este insists, scrolling away on her phone looking for all the pictures of Drew and Mason from the premiere. "For example, okay, Rudy and Elaine? They're like, totally on the outs. They don't even know it yet but the rest of us can all tell. She's not great to him. Also I knew about Chase and Madelyn's break up before he did, okay? You always trust the makeup artist! I know everything, but with Drew? There's never been anything. No drama, no one has had a bad thing to say about him ever. Also, Ellen, I just sent the pictures to you."

"See! Honey, just give him a chance." Catherine agrees and Mason sighs. "Oh! Oh gosh, these are so precious! He's very handsome, Mason."

"Ugh, mom!" Mason groans, throwing her head back against the couch cushions.

"I'm not giving you a choice. You need to keep seeing him, it'll be good for you. Just one more date if he asks, then you can do whatever you want. Just give him a shot." She says seriously, pleading with her daughter at this point to at least try.

"I'm glad you say that because he did already ask!" Este tells her. "Mason just hasn't called him back yet."

"Of course he did! You're amazing! You're beautiful, you're so kind, I can't imagine that he wouldn't want to spend more time with you, Honey."

Mason sighs, cheeks totally red and she nods. "Okay, fine, mom. You've convinced me. I'll call him back."

Six Months Later

Drew's bouncing his knee rapidly as Mason drives them down the quiet block, on their way to her parents home in a small town in Washington. "Nervous?" She asks him with a giggle, looking over as he stares out the window.

"No, what makes you say that?" Drew replies, quickly ceasing the movements of his leg.

"Just a hunch." Mason shrugs. "But if you were nervous, I'd say 'Don't worry, they'll adore you'." She assures him, turning onto her block.

"This is it!" She smiles, and he tenses up as she slows down, pretending to pull over.

"Shit, okay, I'm scared." He admits, making her laugh.

"I'm kidding. That wasn't even the house." Mason giggles, pulling out onto the road again.

"Screw you." Drew laughs, shaking his head. "That's not funny, by the way."

"Okay, okay. Sorry. This actually is it though." She says, taking a right turn into the driveway.

"Oh god." Drew groans, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, taking a deep breath. He doesn't even know why he's so nervous, he just wants to make a good impression, but Mason has told him time and time again that they already have a good impression of him based on everything she's told them.

"Watch this. We have about five... four... three..." As Mason counts down, unbuckling her seatbelt and watching the front door of the small ranch home, which suddenly flies open and her mom comes running out, straight up to the car. "Yep, told you." She grins over at Drew, opening her door and stepping out.

"Mason! Oh, I missed you so much!" Catherine smiles, pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her cheek.

"I missed you too..." She smiles, hugging her back and looking over to her dad who is standing against the door frame with a smile on his face. He gives her a quick wave which she returns behind her moms back, before her mom is letting her go.

"Oh, you're Drew! Hi, dear! It's so good to finally meet you!" She's quickly at his side of the car, giving him a hug as well. Him and Mason share a look over her head, and Mason gives him two thumbs up as he chuckles awkwardly and hugs her mom back.

"It's nice to meet you, Catherine." He agrees as she lets him go.

"Oh please, call me Cath. Or Mom. Whichever suits you more." She waves him off, smiling up at him. "Geez, Este wasn't kidding, you are more handsome in person. And tall. My goodness."

"Oh my god, mom!" Mason laughs, blushing furiously as her dad makes his way down the stairs.

"What? I just want him to be comfortable!" Catherine defends, patting Drew on the arm and walking around to the back of the car.

"And you think saying that will help?" Mason giggles, quickly walking up to her dad and hugging him as well.

"Well, I don't know I'm just being nice." Catherine insists, opening the trunk to get their suitcases out.

"I've got it! We're good." Drew insists, cheeks still flushed as he joins her, grabbing them out for her.

"I should probably help him, hey?" Miles whispered to his daughter with a smile and she nods as he nudges her shoulder.

"Yes please, dad." She whispers back, laughing quietly as he walks away, and Mason returns to the car to grab her purse out.

"Here, let me help." Miles says, grabbing his daughters pink suitcase off the ground. "Mason doesn't travel light, hey?"

"No she does not." Drew chuckles, shaking his head.

"Something wrong with that?" Her dad asks, serious now as he raises an eyebrow at Drew.

"Oh- no! Definitely not, sir. Gotta be prepared, you know?" Drew says, the blood draining from his face as he tries to salvage the situation.

"Dad!" Mason scolds him, and he instantly breaks character, laughing at the boys response.

"I'm kidding, don't worry." He laughs, patting his shoulder. "I'm Miles, by the way."

Drew laughs awkwardly, clearly getting minor whiplash from the situation. "Nice to meet you, I'm Drew." He says, repeatedly glancing up at his girlfriend.

"Let's get everything inside before it rains, yeah? We don't have all that beautiful sunny weather that you guys are used to in North Carolina and LA." Catherine says, taking a bag from Drew before he can protest and making her way back inside.

By the time everyone else makes it inside, Catherine is already on facetime with Este, who's back in LA. Mason doesn't know who was more likely to call each other out of the two of them. "Gosh, honey, you were right about him he is lovely!" Catherine says, turning as she hears the door shut. "Oh, here they are! Want to say hi?"

"You know I do!" Este grins, still laughing about how quickly Catherine called her to talk about Drew once they arrived. "Hey guys! How was the flight?" She asks as Catherine passes the phone off to Mason.

"It was good. Not too long." Drew shrugs.

"Yeah. I miss you, though." Mason adds, pouting at her friend.

"Well why didn't she come?" Her mom cuts in before Este can reply.

"Work, unfortunately." She sighs dramatically. "But I'm free next week, if you'll still want some more company."

"Yes, of course! Come up here any time, honey."

"You heard her." Mason agrees, smiling at her friend.

"Alright I'll see you on Tuesday, then." Este giggles.

Mason passes the phone back to her mom as she says she's looking forward to it, grabbing her backpack to bring to her room.

"I guess I should give you the tour." Mason says to her boyfriend, pausing and looking around the open living room and kitchen space. "Alright that's about it. My room is down here, same with the bathroom, and my parents room." She says, making Drew laugh as she heads toward the small hallway, Drew following close after.

"It's such a cute house." He muses, looking around at the array of artwork on the walls.

"You can say it's small, Babes. It's fine." She giggles quietly as they step into her room, throwing her stuff on her bed under the window.

"No, I meant like, the decor and stuff. It's very cute." Drew insists, smiling at her and then looking around her room, which clearly hasn't been changed since she moved out a few years ago, to live with Este in LA.

"Oh, well, my mom will love the review so please tell her." Mason smiles, sitting down on her bed and laying back dramatically.

"I don't know what I expected your room to look like, but it was almost exactly like this." He chuckles, standing in the door frame and taking note of all the posters on the walls, mainly Taylor Swift, One Direction, some of her favourites. "Have you met any of them yet?"

"I met Taylor once." Mason says, sitting back up and smiling at her big 'Lover' poster. "She was really sweet, she said she wants to do a song together sometime, maybe grab lunch. I have her number. I feel like she just pitied me, though."

"No way, she knows talent when she sees it. Clearly." Drew smiles, pacing into the room and sitting next to her.

"Leave the door open!" Miles calls after them from the living room.

"Dad!" Mason huffs as her cheeks turn red and she stands up, walking to the door and looking down the hall at him. "I'm not sixteen anymore, I'll shut the door if I want!" She laughs, then pretending to dramatically slam it before she stops it and closes it gently.

"Who'd you bring in here when you were sixteen?" Drew laughs quietly, cheeks turning slightly red as well.

"Guess." Mason laughs, sighing and rolling her eyes as she joined him on the bed again.

"I've got a pretty good idea." Drew admits, looking around again and this time noticing all the music awards on one wall next to the closet, smiling a little to himself. "Brady still lives here, doesn't he?"

"Yep. Him and his new 'girlfriend'." Mason says, using a mocking tone to refer to her. "Well, not new anymore I guess. It's been over a year."

"He's an idiot, if she was smart she would have left him by now." Drew chuckles. "I'm lucky he's so stupid, honestly."

"Me too. I wouldn't have found out otherwise." Mason chuckles. "God, it's so embarrassing." She groans and covers her face with her hands. Drew laughs a little with her, reaching out and running his fingers through her hair. She shouldn't be embarrassed. It's funny to laugh about a year down the line, but it's hard to think about what she went through- when the world was watching. He wants to make sure she never goes through anything like that ever again.

"Mason! Honey, mind helping me with dinner?" Her mom calls from the living room and she sighs, sitting up.

"Coming!"

taglist:@veescorneroftheworld, @totalswag, @madelynie, @cecesrings, @slut4drudy, @mutual-mendes, @winterrrnight, @sadfury, @h34rtsformilli, @maybankslover, @ffgcfff (lmk if you want to be added!!)

#drew starkey fanfic #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey fic #drew starkey blurb #drew starkey #obx fanfic #rafe obx #drew starkey x oc

[frostburn-shoto]

I absolutely love the twin Hashira AU for the Tokito twins, I love both Yuichiro and Muichiro and I feel they both deserved better.

But you know... so did everyone who fell victim to demons...

Anyways~ Twin Hashira AU is fun... but Demon Yuichiro Au? That's just as fun! I've already talked once about how A Twin Hashira AU could work but what about demon Yui?

One thing about it, is unlike with the Twin Hashira AU, even if he loses an arm or leg it won't hinder him what so ever since demons can regenerate. And this makes Muichiro's berserk moment just as intense, because you know... he saw his human brother lose a limb.

While he is going berserk mode on the demon, Yuichiro is slowly dying so what better time for him to be turned into a demon than when he's in the blink of death? I am like 100% sure Muzan would NOT give a shit about Muichiro either since he probably assumed Yuichiro will just kill him, alternatively, there's another timing that sort of fit.

When Muichiro returned, Yuichiro was still BARELY alive, he was clearly breathing his last breaths but he was alive nonetheless. Muichiro was also in death's door so it would explain why Muzan wouldn't do anything to him: whether because he was already dying and he had no interest in trying to turn him into a demon or again, he was keeping him as his Yuichiro's first meal. Likewise, with his connection to the twins, Kokushibo could be in an alternative too.

The issue with the idea is that it may start of VERY similar to how the storyline with Tanjiro and Nezuko started out but I do imagine I'll eventually take a different turn.

While Nezuko gets stronger by sleeping, Yuichiro could get stronger by eating (normal food mind you) or... we could go a genya route were he eats demons but something tells me Yuichiro wouldn't be too fond of the idea of eating demons for breakfast 🤣

And he'd obviously develop a different blood demon art, I imagine it being related to Mist maybe something like poisonous mist? Idk there's many abilities that may work for Yuichiro. One thing I do think though is unlike Nezuko, Yuichiro WON'T be able to overcome the sun, the reason for that is quite obvious but you know... that's what makes it different.

Anyways~ how do you think things would play out if Yuichiro turned into a demon instead?

#demon slayer muichiro #Demon slayer #kimetsu muichiro #kimetsu yuichiro #kimetsu no yaiba #Kny #kny yuichiro #kny muzan #yuichiro tokito #tokito brothers #tokito twins #tokitō muichirō #tokito yuichiro #kny muichiro #kny kokushibo #muichiro tokito #Story ideas

[134340am]

for the madeup fic game, idk why my brain immediately thought of the words "banana bread" but here i am with the title "banana bread" if you can think of anything 😂

hello my pretty rae! happy tuesday <3

for banana bread, i'm thinking of a light-hearted crack fic where bokuto is cursed at birth to drop any and all foods that he compliments after the first bite.

it started when he was a kid, just a little guy at the park chomping down on some ice cream on a hot summer's day. he's saved up enough to try a new flavour—today's treat is strawberry ice cream encased in a thin layer of mochi. "yum," he mutters to himself after the first bite: a small, tentative one, where he rolls the flavour about on his tongue afterwards. when he goes in for a second, bigger bite, he drops his ice cream.

fuck.

bokuto swears by his dad's toast. it somehow tastes better, though it's just toast? the outside is a stunning golden brown, the balance between the crunchy crust and the pillowy insides is perfect, and the little pad of butter his dad slides on top the hot toast is just the right amount—enough to coat the entire surface of his breakfast without getting it soggy and greasy.

"it's just toast, but it's awesome every single time, pa," he once said through a generous mouthful of said toast, before his fingers twitch and his breakfast goes barrelling towards the floor.

gravity 1, bokuto 0.

(screw this shit, he hates it here.)

he's mindful of his compliments to the chef now. pizza, beef rice bowls, cold soba in the summer and hot oden in the winter: whatever he's eating, bokuto's careful to express his appreciation for the food only after he's had at least half of it.

until he met you.

the humble bakery down the street serving the freshest pastries has been the fruit of your labour for the past five years. lemon pound cake, pain au chocolat, darling little vanilla cupcakes and giant chocolate chip cookies—your menu is sure to satisfy anyone with a sweet tooth. your best seller, however, is your banana bread: the caramelised exterior and fluffy interior, in addition to the overpowering smell that wafts through the street every morning, had people queueing up long before your bakery opens.

bokuto is no exception.

he's almost in tears when he tries your banana bread for the first time, teeth sinking into the crispy crust to find the soft sponge underneath and a satisfied hum already brewing in the back of his throat.

before he can help himself, he speaks, "this is the best banana bread i've ever had."

shitshitshit, he shouldn't have said that.

bokuto cringes, awaiting the familiar numbness to take over his fingers, awaiting the dreaded fall of the delicious banana bread from his hand...

...but it never comes.

when he opens his eyes, he's puzzled to find the golden-brown square still intact between his thumb and index finger. huh, that's weird.

"this banana bread is— it's, um. amazing. delicious. wonderfully tasty," he tries, eyes fixated on the dessert. he even takes another bite for good measure, nibbling at the corner where a bit of caramelised crust has formed. he starts rambling when nothing happens. "this banana bread is lovely. i'd eat it everyday, for breakfast and lunch and dinner. maybe even supper, but my trainer says i shouldn't eat too late or i'll mess up my circular rhythm. my circulator rhythm? what's the damn word— anyways, this is good. like, great good."

nothing happens. his little slice of banana bread, now down to a piece the size of his thumb, sits unharmed in his hands.

a grin breaks across his face, lighting up the room almost immediately. "holy shit!"

"holy shit is right, sir." you slide into the seat opposite his, armed with another slice of banana bread on a plate. your smile mirrors his, amusement decorating your pretty features, and bokuto feels his heart rate pick up even more—something he didn't know was possible.

"i'm glad you like my banana bread. it's our bestseller, and you probably know that, but nobody's really complimented it the way you have." you laugh good-naturedly, sliding the plate across the table. bokuto's eyes flick from your face to the bread and back, heart soaring.

"well, i hope you know i was telling the truth," he starts, almost shyly. "would you, um, like to share this piece?"

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it!

#omfggggggg this turned into a whole ass DRABBLE i am so sorry rae i got carried away... >o< #but yes!!! this is a fic i would write (and have now written i guess) if banana bread was the title #inspired by how for the longest time i'd drop whatever i was eating if i complimented it after the first bite #i'm still mourning my garlic bread... and steamed corn... and chicken skewer.... that i've dropped in the past... #anyways thank you so so much for asking <3 i hope you liked this! heh #okay i'm gonna tag so i don't let my hard work go to waste heh don't mind meeeee #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #bokuto fluff #yuna writes #ask yuna #beloved rae

[yaspii]

tw for disordered eating stuff under the cut but I've been working with a dietician who specializes in individuals with ADHD and it has been truly life changing

I have had the hardest time stomaching food for the past year or so cause of my meds and sensory things from ADHD and it's only got worse from my doctor telling me to lose weight to the degree that I've lost over 30 pounds since April last year. I have tried so many things to make cooking and eating bearable but each time it's even more work. She initially guided me by trying to find foods I could always stomach that were easy to prepare. This worked for some time but eventually even the act of chewing seemed like a herculean task. At one point I just told myself to drink a glass of milk for breakfast because at least that was something.

When I told her this she immediately latched onto it and said we can work with that let's just make sure if you can't eat anything else that day you can drink 2L of this protein enriched milk and some specific vitamins. This pretty much flies in the face of any sort of nutrition advice I have found. That you need balance, that vitamins from food are better than supplements. But it only occurred to me once she put me on this diet that internalizing those things, while true for many people, did not help me, a person who in most cases can't get those nutrients any other way. I drink my milk, I try my best to eat a carb or two as well and some Chia seeds for fibre. And I feel much better than I did when I was barely eating anything, who knew! And yeah hopefully this isn't a forever thing. But I think I'll be set up for much more success on a balanced diet if I actually have energy and my mental faculties about me to go about it in a sensible way. Idk man novel brains require novel solutions and I've never felt safer with a medical professional in my life. She not only saw my unique needs and took them in without an ounce of judgment but she understood immediately that my losing weight was not a good thing despite being overweight.

#adhd #personal #food

[fizzingwizard]

I've had such an awful spring

Got the flu in March

Bad cold in May which hung around forever and totally messed up my voice

When my voice finally was coming back, I got covid!

I'm grateful that my coworkers have been supportive. But I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow, even though it'll be just one day, because I'm exhausted just lying down all the time and at work I have to be go go go pretty much the whole time.

I'm not sure what happened, but anyway, I was told that I had to self-isolate "until Thursday." That was vague, I wasn't sure if it meant Thursday is the last day of self-isolation or Thursday is the first day I go back to work. So obvs I just asked my manager. I made sure to sent the message in two languages just in case. She confirmed "Yes you must self-isolate until Thursday." Which didn't clear anything up for me. So I said, "Alright, see you Thursday?" and she said "Thank you!"

Well y'all, today was Thursday. I had a HORRIBLE sleep on Wed night. It was one of those sleeps where you're kind of awake still and there's a mental reel of nightmarish fun house images under your eyes that doesn't stop. Usually that gets my heart racing, but this time it just made me not sleep well.

So I woke up groggy and got ready for work. It took ten minutes longer than usual even though I did nothing that isn't part of my normal routine. The summer heat is setting in. All the yellow flowers that were by the river last week have died and the purple ones that only come out in the mornings in summer appeared over the few days that I had to stay home. Got on the crowded train, and I don't know what happened but after ten minutes of standing pressed in line sardines, I suddenly got light-heated and nauseous. It got so bad that I had to bend over, then eventually crouch down on my knees. At that point the nice man sitting in front of me was kind enough to give me his seat so I could put my head between my legs. The vertigo eventually passed, but I had a weird hot feeling in my head the rest of the way. The night before I had gotten light-headed in the shower too, but felt better after cracking the door.

I have passed out in the shower once before, but never on a train, so that was freaky. I don't know what caused it, I haven't heard that fainting is a symptom of covid, but who knows. But more likely I suppose it was the combination of having been home without much exercise for several days, not eating much due to not having an appetite, and then suddenly moving around a lot more in the heat. Hopefully that's all it was, I guess I'll find out tomorrow...

Anyway, I get to work and my boss says, "You're here? You're supposed to come back tomorrow!"

xD

Whaat but I thought I confirmed I was supposed to come in today. Lol. Idk man. Anyway, I just said, "Then came I go home??" and went aaaaaall the way back buhahaha. It was a waste of money since I won't be able to have my travel expense covered. But I did get to buy pancakes for breakfast. And strawberries for tonight's dessert. Tbh I was really grateful for the surprise extra (albeit failed) self-isolation day. I didn't feel up to looking after the kids at all. Don't wanna try tomorrow either but if lack of exercise contributed to the light-headedness then it's best that I try to get back to my normal life as soon as I can.

The doc did give me meds, but was clear that I couldn't have antivirals. I assume the best treatments are being rationed for the people most in need. So I have some meds to help with the symptoms at least. One is making me feel a little weird but I'm not sure which. However, it's not a big deal, just a weird feeling, my arms and back feel hot... idk. Will keep an eye on it.

Gotta say this bout with covid was anything but fun. The symptoms I expected were not the ones that gave me the most trouble. My sore throat is not nearly as bad as what I had in May, and the cough is just a cough. The worst of all was the body aches. They were nightmarish. I took ibuprofen but it barely helped. My head, neck, back, and joints ached and all I wanted to do was sleep but there was no comfortable position. Then after that is the phlegm. Mainly because it tastes horrible, is constant, and is making me always nauseous from swallowing it. I feel like I have constant heartburn. I do have meds to help with the phlegm, but so far they haven't made a difference on the nausea.

Le sigh

However, counting blessings. I have multiple friends who are immunocompromised for various reasons who have struggled so much this whole time trying to be safe. I'm lucky I'm generally healthy and I'm even glad being recently sick meant that I really haven't gone anywhere or seen anyone in almost a month, so I hopefully didn't pass the covid germs around. Fingers crossed summer will be better than spring.

#fizz's life #work

[1d1195]

I am in California! Specifically southern California so yeah it's always warm lol but that's the problem, it's been cold (cold for me which is 50-60sih) and it's very confusing since this isn't our usual weather! Plus it's also been really windy and the wind is cold lol And yeah sadly the timing was THE WORST!!!

It's okay that you chose to not go! like you knew your limit, you knew that it was something that wasn't going to be too enjoyable for you. especially if you had other things on your mind. It's not right that she made you feel bad about that even if you expressed that you were busy/didn't feel up for it. and even if you didn't say something about feeling off, respecting your choice is a MUST and knowing you, you probably declined in a nice way! So being upset that she couldn't respect that is valid! And being an independent person is good! like the fact that you can do things by yourself is something that a lot of people struggle with! there's nothing wrong about that.

I swear I listen to other artists and not just Paramore/ Paramore adjacent music HAHA like aside from that lyric, Ive had Good Luck Babe! by Chappell roan, Lejos de Ti(away from you) and Run Your mouth by The Marias and Bewitched by Laufey and like many more stuck in my head and I just cant seem to get it to stop lol

I kinda liked that they didn't have sex right away! I think her mentioning that "he ruined it" showed how sometimes the healing process is tricky and never linear! either way I always trust you and the process so Im excited!

I try so hard understand it like i have taken those quizzes, read articles and even watched videos! But I simply cant lol Nad you are very sweet!!! also sort of off topic but do you think Belle was disappointed once she saw the Beast in his human form?

Im glad your week was better! I hope that you rest this weekend my love!! thank you so much! ILY!!!-💜

Okay, it's coming back to me, when we talked about ideal temps a while back and I mentioned that 50/60 is my ideal temp 🤣 DEF the worst timing though :( I'm sorry!

She didn't make me feel that way per se, but I can read between the lines of course. Idk it's frustrating. I never say no and then I feel extremely guilty when I don't (have I mentioned Dolcezza before?) I even suggested she go herself and she was like "well, no. I won't go alone." Which I think is really tragic. It's freeing to do things by yourself, in my opinion. I don't mean to sound like 'she should just do it' but you kind of have to start somewhere with it. I'm an early bird so I used to get breakfast by myself in college, go for walks/runs, and honestly I had a whole day by myself in the mornings when no one else was awake. It was either eat breakfast on my own or I wasn't eating until like noon when everyone else woke up and that wasn't what I wanted. Anyway...

That's so cute! I'll have to give them a listen :)

They will definitely be sexual in the next part hahahahahaha

I've seen a lot of memes and tik toks about Belle and her disappointment of Beast HAHAHAHA I'm not sure, honestly! I had to google before and after images to remember what I thought at the time. Not sure if we're talking animated or live-action too, but either way, he's pretty cute in human form. I'm sure it was probably an adjustment for her, regardless. I personally don't like long hair on guys all that much (except Harry obviously because he can do no wrong, ever) so I struggle with that in general but it was a reflection of the time, I suppose. I want to know why they didn't call him Adam. Like it already sucks he's a transformed monster and hates himself already. like why are they calling him The Beast? ESPECIALLY when they know he's a d-bag to begin with? Like why make him MADDER? That would certainly make me mad and I would probs throw Lumiere and Cogsworth out a window (sorry I'm apparently really passionate about Beauty and The Beast).

Hope this week starts off easier for you 💕

xoxo

#💜

[journalofsorts2]

something im not sure how much of the general public understands is all the habits and life changes you have to make once you stop being suicidal. in my personal experience, i was chronically suicidal for years on end (i didn't do it cause im a coward lmao) and it's only let up in recent years. it wasn't off and on, it was constant until one day i woke up and realized i was actually just scared and i didn't really want to die. but obviously being constantly suicidal for 5+ years has a lot of effects on your life and i feel like every week i encounter a new one. for example, i have no clue what to do with my future. i never planned for it, i never had a reason to. in my mind i was supposed to be six feet under right now, there was no future to plan besides the method i was going to end myself. so now i feel like im scrambling to figure out what im going to do for the rest of my life and what prerequisites i need to do said thing for the rest of my life. another thing is that it took a WHILE for me to retrain my brain to not think "now im gonna kms" at every minor inconvenience. like obviously people joke about that kinda stuff all the time and it doesn't always mean they want to genuinely die, but in my case there was always a certain percent of seriousness behind those jokes. when i said "im gonna kms" in frustration to a game back then, a part of me genuinely did mean it. and so i've had to retrain my brain to know that offing myself is actually not a valid solution to all of life's problems. another one is basic health habits. when you can barely get out of bed in the mornings, it's hard to get the motivation to brush your teeth, let alone get in the shower and face the body you hate. teaching myself to brush every morning and night and take a shower everyday (WITHOUT WEIGHING MYSELF) took a bit. especially cause adhd makes it harder to form habits that stick. and like healthy eating? that was basically non existent when i was majorly suicidal. it was easier to just get something easy to prepare (i.e. frozen dinners, etc) then actually take the steps to cook and prepare a meal that would nurture my body. especially when my autistic ass is an extremely picky eater and unhealthy eating is a common thing with autistics. relearning my love for cooking has been really fun and i really love coming up with different variations of the food i already know how to make and enjoy. idk being suicidal fucked me up in a lot of ways but it's been fun to relearn how to live. i enjoy getting out of bed because i get to make a breakfast i'll enjoy now. life does get better. it really doesn't feel like it in the moment, and i know i hated hearing that from people before, but it really is true. not everyday is perfect but that's okay because nobody is meant to be perfect. as long as you're alive, you're doing a great job

#journalofsorts rants

[apatheticchocobar]

i did it

so I consulted the psychiatrist yesterday and finally talked about the possibility of adhd. of course i cried the whole time. but i did it. i'm proud of myself.

she listened so patiently and did not dismiss my concerns. and actually got me an adhd test. WHICH I DID TODAY!!! (thank you god for helping schedule it early)

i think i did match with most of the symptoms mentioned. i think i have mostly the inattentive symptoms. but don't know what final report would be

have to meet psychiatrist again day after tomorrow (friday) for follow up.

good thing that the timing has worked out well for this. would be going home for diwali after this, so would give me an opportunity to talk to parents about whatever the diagnosis is too

really really hope they understand and are supportive

a bigger problem right now though is i'm pretty sure i would have low hemoglobin levels. the last 2-3 weeks i have had horrible eating habits. skipped so many meals. never eat breakfast. sometimes having the first meal of the day at 3 pm.

it started as an innocent healthy diet/exercise thing. idk if counting calories was a bad idea. but some days i've literally had 1200 calories only. and mostly between 1600-1800 on other days

today i realised, the last time i had a waffle was almost 2 months ago. i'll order one tomorrow!

but its like literally the 3rd time i've let this happen. it always goes the same way. i keep thinking it's only a few times so won't really make a difference. don't really notice the effects initially. and then it hits me like a truck. the last 3 days from when periods started have been the worst mental state i've been in since a long time.

even while writing this, i feel a bit dizzy and have a headache. its 2 am right now. i have to go for the test at 8 am

i'm supposed to be working on btp right now but i literally cannot focus on anything. this constant headache makes me feel really weird and tired

i have asked the phd guy for a meet tomorrow, i hope he responds. but eventually (by friday definitely) i would have to face the elephant in the room. talking to sir and actually scheduling the final presentation. i'll send him the doctor's prescriptions and just hope he understands. presentations can be done till dec start. i'll request him to schedule mine as late as possible so i'll get time after endsems to work on this and make this situation less of a mess. (can the medical thing work for the missed aml assignment too?)

if (and i really hope so) i get diagnosed with adhd, i don't know if i would want to take medication for it. from what i read online there are 2 types: stimulants and non-stimulants. stimulants work better but are habit forming and have side effects, and you have to keep increasing the dosage. and non-stimulants but they don't work that well.

i don't want to have to keep taking medicines and be dependent on them for the rest of my life. i would prefer getting therapy and learn to manage the symptoms. but what if therapy is not enough. ig only time will tell

so this is it i guess. i hope things get better after this

something to remember from reddit for later:

The blame thing is a very common trap people with ADHD fall in. Once they get diagnosed, everything they do is later blamed as "I'm just ADHD" rather than actually taking effort in fixing those issues. This is a trap many people fall into and it's hard to get out of it. People with ADHD if anything have to work twice as hard to manage their lives. The diagnosis is supposed to be pretty much the start line for people. Not the finish. It's not supposed to feel like you got closure.

[ruby--chaos]

feeling petty rn so ima rant abt my experience at my old summer camp i went to from around ages 8-11 (maybe 7? idk)

overall i do consider that summer camp to have been a good experience, for the record. there were just a few things that they probably should've done better. I hold far more positive memories of it than I do negative ones, but dang the negatives ones there were do stick pretty heavily.

// talk of eating issues

okay so to start i've always been a picky eater, and when i say that i don't just mean like the normal level of picky that a lot of children tend to have. I mean picky eating in the sense that it messes with my daily life, makes several activities impossible/extremely stressful for me. i eat pretty much the same 6 foods and that's about it. In 2020, I was given doctor-reccomended therapy for it that didn't really even work in the end. This summer camp was an overnight camp that spanned over a week. We wouldn't leave the camp grounds once we got there until the end of the week. This meant they had to provide food for us. Which is fine for most of the campers, but little ruby over here couldn't eat like- any of the meals they gave us because like i said earlier, i'm a picky eater to the point of extremes. When asked, the staff refused to provide any of the alternative meals they offered (which they did have, they just didn't give them out for "picky eating") which at first seems normal enough, i can get that. this is my first year here, they don't know how bad it actually is. plenty of kids have light picky eating tendencies, they probably assume it's not that bad. So then I start eating cheese in a bowl as meals, because they won't offer me actual food but they did have a salad bar that had unlimited cheese. I did this for the entire week. Just cheese. That was it. They didn't budge. Because the child who's been eating nothing but cheese for a week is definitely gonna be a-okay right?

the next year I go there, I'm nine now. Still the same I was last year. They don't budge. This time though, they have a breakfast bar with food that i'll actually eat that comes in packets. So I just stock up on a bunch of breakfast items everyday and that gets me through the week. Still do the cheese thing once or twice, but mostly breakfast items or what I can buy from the snack counter (mostly push-pops and skittles). I don't remember what I do for years 10 and 11 (my memory kinda dies there), but I imagine I ended up with this same system. And just- god, you'd think after you see a child surviving off cheese and honeybuns you'd let them have the alt meal plans you keep on hand but I GUESS NOT RIGHT- it just really ruffles my feathers thinking about it, I don't know. I don't go there anymore though so whatever.

#2 - was it normal to not be allowed to clap for people or give them praise when they do something?? Because that was a rule we had. I only ever saw someone get clapped for and it was in the end of week talent show with the approval or the guy running the whole camp. Outside of that, we weren't allowed to clap for/praise anyone out of fear it would make someone else feel lesser- is that normal? i don't know, it does kinda seems strange to me in hindsight. whatever though.

i don't know why i felt a need to go off about this, but i've been thinking about it for a bit here now and progressively getting more upset about it so here we are.

#vent #vent post

[hueningshaped]

omg not you watching those eps because they're my favorites stop i'll cry💔💔 once my break starts i'll watch your favs first🫡 if you're a fraud then we're frauds TOGETHER!!! we'll manage to watch the other episodes too, WE WILL‼️😾❤️‍🔥 and tbh no matter what your favorite ep is it's always valid, there are no bad ones and omg we're so behind already and yet they're dropping the new season😭😭 there is no such thing as talking too much about yourself omg i'm so curious about what you have to say🫶🏻🫶🏻 yes beffie i'm also doing great, i only have one week of uni left (although it's exam week😵‍💫) and then this semester is DONE i can't wait to leave my house again tbh i've been holed up in my room because i had so much to do😐😐 head in hands you're so ADORABLE hope something even better happens to you today/everyday!!!!! here's a surprise for you to make your day better🫶🏻 idk about you but i'm more of a 3rd gen stan and i actually prefer ggs!! especially red velvet my beloveds😭 a bg who will always have a place in my heart though is bts, i don't really keep up with them anymore :/ although they were the second group i ever liked, they were the first group that i reeeeally felt a connection to so thanks to them for making my 2016 so beautiful🫡 the way i felt about them then is the way i feel about txt now i could cry just thinking about that😭❤️ i love kpop, and i'm just a pop girlie in general really, i also love rnb, hiphop and my country's music especially from the 2000s but i listen to pretty much anything i don't care about language or genre, what about you!! what music do you listen to and also what kpop gen do you like most!!💗 -🧃

HI HIHIHIHHIIHIIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI i can finally respond,,,, BUT YES OMG ur taste is exquisite bc as alwaysssssss i was laughing and in tears bc of how happy these episodes made me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i find comfort in the fact that we are frauds together <3333 xoxo (i think that means hugs and kisses but im not sure in what order hehe) surprisingly i’ve been watching the most recent ones and gawdd they are so funny but its okay ^^ it just means that we’ll always have more content to fall on (wait lemme take a moment for beffie,,,,,,,, HOW CUTE !!! OF YOU !!! to say so 🥺🥺🥺 im gonna pass outttjm,m,,,) oh gosh !!! you’re working so hard and ahhhhh i really hope that you’ve been taking care of urself during these tough times bc exam season is the absolute worst !!! pls remember to drink lots of water and get ur sleep especially after working so hard and being holed up in ur room awwww go bonkers when u do “escape” / are done hehe ^^ nope, absolutely not ur truly the adorable one okay? 🦖🦖❤️‍🔥 i feel like i keep repeating myself but really i hope everything is going 100%%% for you ~ omg me too,,,,, well i’ve always preferred ggs but i feel that i cant say that currently since i only have txt on the brain but it’s still true!!! ur big brained,,,, bc those 3rd gen groups are chef kiss i think twice was the main group for me then but i ate rv’s discography for breakfast lunch and dinner hehe what’s ur fav red velvet era 1!!! and me too omg are we the same person,!!?!?!? i was super attached to bts in 2016 and look at us now but with txt and u know what? im happy. im happy we exist in this same universe bc of txt, i was able to have the fortune to meet you, and very much vice versa 🌟💞 it’s so sweet that u have that sentiment and i hope u cherish that bc it’s a precious feeling <33 and omg something about pop is just soooo refreshing yaaa u have such splendid taste mmm truly chef kiss i admire that u have very eclectic taste !! god im talking so dang much vjjddnfn but i feel the same about language or genre but besides kpop i listen to a variety of pop mainly like dream pop, indie pop, art pop, shoegaze, etc but i also like rnb, rock, classical, alternative metal, hip hop, and other decades music hehe it’s not very diverse lol and omg as for kpop gen,,,,, i think it’s mainly a mix of 2nd/3rd gen groups i cannot seem to choose between the two,,,,,, yea 🥺 ooo ooo do u enjoy reading books or manga or watching movies or tv more ? :0 and if u choose, what books or manga or movies or shows do u like ? :0 that’s my question,,, so basic huh 😔🐿 and omg omg omg AS FOR THE SURPRISE (which im so funnily touched by omg i was over here giggling and just so fond i was almost in tears thank u for sending me that) HERE IS MY SURPRISE FOR YOU!!1! it’s not as good as the one u sent me but i just am lacking gyu content on my twitter lately it was hard to find something nice enough hhh anyway i sincerely hope you are doing well <33 from the bottom of my heart ,, some beomgyus for u !!!!

#ask >3< #im absolutely sick and vile #FIVE DAYS? amor get it together !!! #anon 🧃 sorry :

[copperbadge]

Just reread the bit about Michealis's countdownbefore he bemoans his lack of grandchildren and I'm curious if Eddi and Gregory are planning to have kids, whether by adoption, surrogacy, or Eddie leaving some monstrous concoction on a window sill and attracting a lovable street urchin they they take in?

Totally cool if you have no thoughts, I just thought of the whole window sill street urchin and so had to ask.

Lord, I hadn't even considered the "booby trapped pastry to catch an urchin" method of parenthood, Eddie probably likes that one best.

I've got in mind a story about it, which involves them asking Eddie's sister to be their surrogate; the child would be hers and Gregory's, but that way there's a blood connection to Eddie, which could be important for a number of legal reasons and very important when one of your dads is a celebrity and the other one is literally a king.

But I think also there's...it feels like there's a gap in popular culture surrounding adoption and its "legitimacy" and more importantly the joy that can come of it. I know people who have adopted and people who are adopted and the psychic damage both subsets take from stuff like the Thor movie jokes about "He's adopted" is pretty real. In Infinite Jes, Lachlan's story about adopting his daughter is based in a real life adoption story that a real life podcaster has told that was deeply touching and emotional. Which is why it was important for me to both have Lachlan say she's adopted and to have his partner's mother love her no differently than she would a biological grandchild.

And so I haven't taken the idea of adoption off the table, particularly adoption of older children who get drastically diminishing returns once they leave infancy. Especially since Gregory was raised in the legacy of "You have to want to be a king" -- it's lovely to have children whatever they want to do with their lives, but adopting a smart older kid who's interested in and good at politics, who might want to follow in the family business, and who also needs love and care from people who desperately do want to be parents, is a smart move all around.

I do also have a subplot in mind where the media keeps insisting that Gregory's going to adopt Noah and make him the next king, and Michaelis is irritated but Noah thinks it's hugely funny.

"Gregory's going to adopt me," Noah announced at breakfast the next morning when Michaelis walked in. "I'm going to become the royal heir and be super fancy. I'll go to some really good ivy league school after all and give up all this podcasting nonsense." 

"You can do better than Ivy League," Michaelis said, playing into the joke, and also recognizing when Noah was honing his impression of him. "Gregory went to the Sorbonne. And from there to the London School of Economics."

"A whole school of economics? I've had nightmares like that," Noah said. 

"It is a real place full of extremely serious people," Michaelis said.

IDK, I'm still thinking about it. There's plenty of time yet, at least in my world. (Michaelis is tapping his watch.)

#shivadhverse

[fallentealeaves]

hey if requests are open can i request kazuha, diluc, xiao finding out that you hate your body and went on a restrictive diet and you can't stop so- i just wanna know how would they react (if it makes you feel uncomfortable feel free to decline also this is my first time requesting i hope im doing this right)

You've recieved mail !~ 💌

You visit Wangshu Inn almost everyday to hangout with Xiao, he's usually busy doing his duties but he always makes time for you in the end. Xiao noticed something different about you though. You've gotten thinner, and you'd try to hide being upset at times. You used to try and cook something for the both of you; Or bring food from Xiangling herself for you two to taste and get a kick out of if the food was peculiar and weird.

But recently you've been only bringing him food. He asks you where your meal is and you try to reason out with "Oh, I already ate" or "I'm good, kinda full from breakfast". He's lived long enough to know that you're hiding something from him; and he's worried it's affecting you really badly. He plans on confronting you about it, he's genuinely worried if you yourself are alright. But he's scared you'd think you made him worry and feel guilty. So he does plan on confronting you, but cautiously since, well, he deeply cares about you and doesn't want to make you suffer then you already are.

You brought him food again at Wangshu Inn and went on top of the balcony since that's where he usually resides, you see him to what looks like he's waiting for you, weird since he'd be a couple minutes late. You waved at him and chuckled "Xiao ! I brought food from Xiangling ! Might be something weird again, hope it's not slime condensate" you noticed he had a serious almost worried look on his face and you asked "Hey, something wrong ? You really don't have to eat her cooking if you don't want to" "y/n..." he muttered, Something tells you that this is sounds to be serious. "I've noticed a couple things aand im worried you're...hurting yourself..." "You've done a lot for me so please tell me if you're alright. If you're not, let me help you atleast recover your pain." he added. Him noticing and him pointing it out, it made you feel horrible. You dropped the bag of Xiangling's cooking; Tears falling from your eyes one after the other, now you couldn't hide your pain any longer. He goes into panic mode stammering "I-I hope I didn't made you feel guilty t-that wasn't my intention I just want to help you--" "no, no it's ok Xiao-- I know you're just worried for me it's ok..." you hugged him holding his waist tight. He hugged you back patting your head as he tries to shush your cries.

You told him about your struggles. You told him that you hated your body and you felt sick of yourself. He reassures you that you are the prettiest person he's met on all his lifetime, and he loves you no matter what your size is because he'll always look beyond your weight. Though he doesn't understand humans, he tries his best to understand what you're going through. After this day, he tried cooking once. He asks Smiley Yanxiao nervously on how to cook and goes to a fit of rage if he does something wrong "stupid carrots !!" he once shouted, it makes you laugh thinking about it. Whenever he goes hunting for evil spirits, he always catches you a fish he caught on the lake during the job, and insist "we should cook this together". You love how he tries and cares for you so deeply. And even tough you hate yourself right now, you know that there's always one person who'll love you.

you with all his heart.

Author's note

Hi !!!- you've noticed I've only done Xiao and that's because i've been busy with personal life cries-- but I promise I'll get to the other two in later posts so don't worry !!

Also, I just want to say I hope you're doing ok !!! I don't wanna assume things but I hope things will get better for u ! <3

also i rlly enjoy people giving me requests i love it idk JEJJEWJ so keep sendin em >:D

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin xiao #genshin xiao x reader #adeptus xiao #genshin fluff

[druigswhores]

you’re alive in my head

summary: in which natasha no longer had to live in a world without you, there you were in her arms once again. but why can’t she remember your life before westview?

content warning: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, set after endgame, angst, mentions of death, trauma, their relationship ending on a bad note, trust issues & previous steve x nat, there is some hints to homophobia in this chapter :/ (WANDAVISION SPOILERS!)

note: sorry this chapter was late!! it’s 3.3k words and i got my friend to spell check and edit it, ty ashy ily <33

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (lmk if you want anymore content like this!)

‘моя любовь’ = ‘my love’ in russian <3

‘принцесса’ = ‘princess’ (i used google translate so idk how accurate it is

SERIES MASTERLIST

PART THREE COMING SOON

Death.

It's a complicated thing; A theory.

Nobody knows what happens to you after you die. Nobody knows what happens to your soul after you die. We make things up to make ourselves feel better, and convince ourselves that our deceased loved ones are watching over us, all the while convincing others that our loved ones are in a better place now.

But in reality, those are just dreams dying to be true.

Natasha didn't know if you were dead or alive. She just knew your body turned into particles of dust, your soul disappeared along with the rest of you. She didn't want to believe that you were truly gone, so she spoke to you.

She spoke to you, thinking you were listening to her; believing you were listening to her and that you were still around.

It was almost as if she was speaking to your ghost, the mere presence of you that remained with her, the piece of you that was a part of her. It felt wrong being in the compound without you, she felt as though she was trapped; trapped with the many reminders of how she failed you. The walls were suffocating her. Every time she thought about what had happened it felt as though the rooms were becoming smaller. The large 'A' plastered around the compound taunting her, reminding her of what they lost. Of what she lost.

So she had to get away.

Natasha found herself taking trips to the beach, the one the two of you adored oh so much. She'd walk along the sand, the harsh wind blowing against her face. The air smelled of salt, and she'd take a deep breath in with a smile. She'd reminisce all the times the two of you managed to get away from the compound, how effortlessly gorgeous you'd look with the breeze blowing through your hair, your laughter sounding like a melody that Natasha now longed to hear once more.

If she stood really still, she could, once more, feel the warmth of your fingers dragging against her skin, gently tracing shapes onto her body. Her heart would ache whenever she'd turn to the side, finding that nobody was beside her.

She had to get used to living in a world without you.

"моя любовь..." She sighed, fumbling with a stone she'd picked up, before swinging her arm and throwing it into the rippling water. The temperature was dropping. Christmas coming closer and closer every day. Natasha wrapped her coat tighter around her body, staring at the waves in front of her, observing the way they'd hit the shore before pulling back into the ocean. In the distance, she could see boats, and although they were far away, she noticed how the water carried them; the movement of the ocean pushing the boat into the direction of the wind. "No sailors.." Natasha realized, her eyes following a lifeguard boat making its way to the empty boats, likely checking for any survivors.

Yet another reminder of how the Avengers had failed.

It's only been a couple of months since the battle yet the traces of you continued to fade away. The sweater that was once yours now clung to Natasha's body as she made her way back home.

She'd do anything to bring you back. She'd do anything to have you in her arms again, complaining about something you'd undoubtedly forget hours later. She missed the way you'd never share your snacks with anyone but her. The feeling of warmth that would blossom inside her when your eyes met in a crowded room. All the times when your knee would brush against hers during a meeting. She missed the way it felt to lay next to you. She missed forgetting the world with you.

God, she missed you so much.

But there she was. In the same room as you, years later, preparing breakfast. Her hair was coiled and pinned up, keeping it in place. Her dress fit her perfectly, the skirt swaying with her movements as she elegantly makes her way across the kitchen floor. Her every movement seemed like a performance; like she was the performer and you were the audience, watching her in awe. She was captivating in every possible way, her enchanting voice pulling you in like a siren.

"Good morning, honey! I've been up all morning making us a delightful breakfast." Natasha greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, her performance almost seeming comical. "Nat... it's just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." You pointed out, glancing over your shared kitchen, seeing the mess that was made. Somehow milk spilled all over the counters, dripping onto the ground, you immediately recognized the smell of burnt toast that hung in the air as you continued looking around.

"Peanut butter and jelly is your favourite, remember?" Natasha reminded you. Your eyes widened at the realization, thanking her. You helped her bring the food to the table, making a note to yourself to tidy up the kitchen before the dinner at Wanda and Vision's that the two of you were invited for.

But you couldn't recall Wanda telling you about the dinner?

"Are you okay, моя любовь?" She placed her hand above yours on the counter. The two of you sat in front of each other, your half-eaten breakfast resting between the two of you. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? I'm with my best girl." You smiled softly at her, and though your words said one thing, Natasha could easily recognise the distant look on your face as you stared off into space, lost in your own thoughts. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours принцесса?" She teased, squeezing your hand gently.

"What time are we supposed to be at Wanda's?" You asked her, snapping yourself out of the trance you were in. Natasha hesitated, eyebrows furrowed as she watched your every move. Something was bothering you. "We're going to Wanda's in the evening моя любовь, she asked us a while back if we could help out before the others arrived, remember?" Natasha stated as the two of you brought your plates to the sink, beginning to tidy up.

"I'm not sure how much help you'll be sweetheart." You teased, pointing at the mess that was created due to Natasha making breakfast. She feigned hurt in response, "Oh принцесса, you're breaking my heart!" She made her way around you, passing you the cutlery as you rinsed the plates. You chuckled softly at her playful behaviour. "I think we should stick with me making us breakfast so our kitchen doesn't end up getting flooded, wouldn't you agree?" You chuckled, as you made your way around the kitchen, the two of you tidying up the mess Natasha had created.

"If only we were a robot," Natasha sighed, wrapping her arms around you from behind. You leaned back into her, embracing the warmth which radiated from her body, "or had powers." This was a position you were so very used to. "If only," she responded playfully. You turn your head back at the grinning redhead, as she leaned in for a kiss, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt your lips meet.

"You know," Natasha started, "we do have some time to spare-" you then cut her off.

"I like the way you think, sweetheart," You smiled softly, turning in her arms before making your way to your shared bedroom. Natasha followed closely behind.

The two of you were dolled up, looking your best.

Your dress ended just below your knees, the skirt extenuating your hips; it swayed with every movement you made. The short sleeves of the dress looked as though they were about to fall off your shoulders. Natasha's dress, however, was much more slim fitting and hugged her hips perfectly before flowing down, much like a waterfall, making it harder to look at anything else but her.

"Do you think Wanda will get mad at us for arriving a bit later than expected?" You asked nervously, fumbling with your fingers as the two of you made your way down the path that led to Wanda and Vision's home. Natasha shuffled around balancing the tray of pastries you'd prepared in one hand while using her free hand to rub your back gently, comforting you, "I'm sure she won't mind, моя любовь," she reassured you. As you near the house you could hear mumbling from the inside; you heard three or more different voices.

"Is that- is Vision singing?" You asked worriedly, glancing at Natasha who was mirroring your reaction. She knocked on the door, and the singing inside had abruptly stopped. "Oh, that must be our other guests," You heard Vision exclaim, "perfect timing!" You could hear his footsteps gradually get closer. The door swung open and Vision gave a nervous smile, glancing down at the tray of food Natasha was holding before letting out a sigh of relief. He hugged the both of you before welcoming you into his home. He introduced you to Mr. Hart, Visions boss, and Mrs. Hart, his wife.

"Oh hello," Mrs. Hart greeted, "no need to be so formal tonight honey." she smiled at you, pushing away the hand you had extended for her to shake. Instead, she pulled you into a tight hug which quite honestly surprised you. You awkwardly pat the older yet noteably shorter woman on the back before pulling away to quickly greet her husband. He glanced at you and Natasha in confusion, opening his mouth to say something before getting interrupted. "Oh here, let me take that, Natasha. You stay here and I'll go get a plate to put these on." You glanced at everyone in the room, offering them a smile before making your way to the kitchen, Vision stopped you before you got to the door, extending his arm out.

"Thank you," he leaned down to whisper to you. You squeezed his arm in response. You weren't used to seeing Vision in this form. He looked human. You rushed into the kitchen, startling Wanda, "I've figured you needed help." You smiled sheepishly at her, placing the tray down onto the counter, taking in all the chaos that was going on in the kitchen. It reminded you of this morning.

"Well, this isn't the first chaotic kitchen I've walked into today," you teased, reaching out for a plate before neatly plating the pastries onto it. Wanda laughed nervously in response, as she flicked through the recipe cards, searching for the right one. You walked back into the living room, placing the plate onto the coffee table prompting Vision to jump up out of his seat and offer Mr. and Mrs. Hart an appetizer. Looking to Natasha, you gave her a wink before swiftly turning around, your dress swaying with your movements as you made your way back into the kitchen, missing the frown forming on Mr. Hart's face.

"Oh, what was I supposed to do next?" Wanda began rambling, "what was the main course again?"

Making your way to the recipe cards floating in the air you attempted to help her find the card with the right recipe, steak. You could hear Vision playing a song on the ukulele while Natasha unwillingly sang alongside him.

"That's not it" You sighed, sifting through the cards, "is this one steak?"

"Steak," Wanda started, "Diane!" she accidentally yells. Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd done. She looks to you with a frown. You just barely heard Vision respond with a, "yes dear?"

"This is going terribly," Wanda frowned, leaning her head upon your shoulder. You chuckled, rubbing her back gently before pulling her away, forcing her to look at you, "Hey, you can do this, okay? You're not alone," you reassured her, attempting to raise her spirits. She sighed in relief, repeating to herself ", "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..."

Vision barged into the kitchen unexpectedly, his nerves radiating through room. Wanda panics, accidentally using her powers to throw the lobsters out of the window.

"How can I be of assistance." Vision asks, mirroring Wanda's expression.

"Well," Wanda started, "the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop, so the steak is the last man standing," she explains, making her way around the kitchen. You held the recipe card in your hand, skimming the instructions, "it says here you could cut down the prep time with a meat tenderiser." You recited, looking at the couple once more. "Excellent plan! Where's the tenderiser?" Vision questions, ready to help in the kitchen.

"I'm looking at him," Wanda began, holding her hand out to pass the tenderiser to Vision. You pull her hand back before Vision reaches out for it. "No. What you need to do, Vision, is go entertain your guests. Have faith in your wife and I, okay?" You pushed him out of the kitchen, before turning around and clapping your hands.

"So, where were we?" You asked, hopefully.

After a stressful couple of minutes, a brief visit from a woman with a pineapple, and Natasha almost spilling water on her dress; dinner was served.

Well technically, breakfast was served.

The six of you sat around the dining table, nervously looking around. Mr. and Mrs. Hart looked at the food in confusion, staring at the cooked bacon and eggs paired with the red wine and chocolate covered strawberries.

"Breakfast for dinner?" Mr, Hart began, with obvious judgement written all over his face. "How very-" "European." Mrs. Hart cut him off, smiling reassuringly at the two of you.

"European?" You muttered, glancing at Wanda in confusion, who then motioned her hand in a 'I'll tell you later' sort of way. "Oh, let's have a toast!" Vision began, raising his glass up. All of you followed suite as Vision continued.

"To my lovely and talented wife," he gloated, unable to take his eyes off her.

"And to our esteemed guests," Wanda added. You didn't miss the wink she threw at you and Natasha, causing the two of you to stifle your laughs. Everyone clinked their glasses together and dug into their food. It wasn't long after when the questioning began.

"So, where did you move from?" Mrs. Hart began, "what brought you here? How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet?" She interrogated Wanda and Vision, and you glanced over at Natasha, hesitantly, who shrugged in response before continuing to eat her food. Her eyes then met Mr. Hart's, who's eyebrows were furrowed at the interaction, waiting for his wife to finish speaking so he could say something. You didn't notice Wanda struggling to answer the questions being thrown, while Vision looked at Wanda desperately waiting for an answer. It was almost as if the two of them didn't know themselves.

You also failed to notice Wanda zoning out of the conversation, staring off into the distance as Mrs. Hart continued pestering her for answers. "And what about the two of you, huh? You two roommates?" Mr. Hart questioned, noticing how closely seated you were next to Natasha.

"Something like that," Natasha responded, biting back the smirk that was fighting it's way onto her lips.

"Two lovely women such as yourselves shouldn't struggle to find a man. Why don't the two of you have husbands yet?" Mr. Hart asked, leaning forward. You felt the hair in your arms rise as you realised where the conversation was leading. Glancing at Natasha nervously, you noticed how her fingers were clenched around her cutlery.

"We just prefer each other's company," you stated simply, shoving a forkful of eggs into your mouth to distract yourself.

"What do you mean? Are you- that's unnatural!" He ranted. You ignored him, noticing that Wanda was still trying to answer questions about her and Visions marriage.

"Yes, yes, we were married in," Wanda paused, getting lost in her thoughts. Mr. Hart continued his rant to you and Natasha as You, Vision and Natasha glanced at Wanda nervously.

"You're both women! That's wrong!" Mr Hart argues.

"Well, what's your story?" Mrs. Hart questions Wanda.

Mr. Hart began shouting, slamming his fist onto the table as Mrs. Hart continued to grill Wanda for answers. Wanda snaps back into reality due to a sudden, unexpected noise. She turned to face Mr. Hart who began to choking. You stared at Natasha, frightened and unsure as of what to do in this situation.

"Oh, Arthur, stop it!" Mrs. Hart laughed. She repeated the words 'stop it' over and over again, her tone gradually becoming more panicked as her husband continued to choke. His hand rested on his throat. Vision stared at Mr. Hart in an unsure manner, his hands resting against the table almost as if the were pinned against it. You only just noticed how Mrs. Hart turned to Wanda as she continued repeating those same words.

"Stop it," she pleaded, her voice shaking as she looked at Wanda, who was staring at Mr. Hart in shock. Mr. Hart fell off his chair and onto the ground as he continued to choke. You wanted to rush over and help him but it felt as though your hands were bound to the table and you couldn't move your legs. You were only able to watch as the man continued to choke while his wife chuckled.

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

"Vision, help him," Wanda demanded. Vision rushed out of his seat and next to Mr. Hart, phasing his hand through his throat and removing a whole chocolate covered strawberry.

When did Mr. Hart pick up the strawberry? You thought to yourself.

"Let me help you up," Vision offers, helping Mr. Hart back to his feet. The atmosphere in the room had immediately changed, going back to exactly how it was before. It was almost as if a switch had been flipped and everyone forgot what was happening.

"Would you look at the time!" Mr. Hart exclaimed making his way to the door as his wife followed behind him.

"Well," Wanda started, "are you both alright?" she questioned nervously, as she stood up. "Yes, we better be going. We had such a lovely time!" Mrs. Hart reassured. The couple left the house very abruptly, mentioning something about a promotion before exiting the front door.

"Oh, we must be going as well!" Natasha exclaims, pushing herself up out of her seat before saying goodbye to the two. She hugged them both before making her way out of the door. You hugged Vision and thanked him for having you over before making your way to Wanda.

"Tonight was wonderful, Wanda," you reassured, pulling her into a hug. You felt her shoulders slacken in your arms, sighing softly as she returned your embrace before pulling away from you, her arms resting on your shoulders.

"Thank you, thank you for everything."

As the two of you made your way home, you couldn't help but let Mr. Hart's words play on repeat in your mind. You could tell Natasha knew what was bugging you as she squeezed your hand gently. The two of you continued to hold hands as you made your way home.

"I know we can't get married," you started, as you stood in your living room, staring at the woman who made you feel most at home. She nodded, waiting for you to continue as she rested her hand against your cheek, allowing her thumb to gently stroke your face.

"But I just want you to know that I'm here for you. For better or for worse. I never want to be apart from you," you chuckled softly, staring at her in awe, allowing your eyes to glance at her lips before you looked back into her eyes.

"I know, моя любовь. And I'd do anything for you," Natasha began.

"Even die for you."

natasha romanoff taglist: @blackxwidowsxwife @severepeanutartisanhands @madamevirgo @starsvck @umsolikeblog @baddecisions-png @yourmcu

all works: @teenwonder @amourtentiaa @husherstan @peggycarter-steverogers

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #agatha harkness #wanda x vision #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel #mcu #avengers #westview #wlw fic #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff angst #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x vision #black widow series #natasha romanoff series #avengers infinity war #avengers endgame #scarlett johansson #elizabeth olsen #marvel actors #marvel fanfiction #Evan peters #quicksilver #pietro maximoff

[nicistrying]

Sunday 23rd Jan 22:

Once the dizziness wore off I actually felt good yesterday. We got loads of stuff done around the house that I've been wanting done since we moved in - our pictures and stuff are ON THE WALLS! Finally! Literally just buying some hooks and putting them up had felt so overwhelming but I did it yesterday. Cleaned the car, cleaned the house, met up with Matthew's friend and his dog for our walk in the afternoon. It was a really lovely walk and Maggie was so well-behaved, I was so proud 😭

Did a little upper body workout when we got home. Not my full session but half a workout is better than none! I'm trying to work on progress and consistency over perfection. So I ended up doing:

3x10 tricep pushups

3x12 reverse flys

3x10 shoulder press each side

3x10 reverse rows

And it felt great! I went fairly heavy so it was still challenging despite being short.

Monday 24th:

Woke up around 2am really dizzy which freaked me out and had a bit of a panic attack feeling like I couldn't breathe. That sucked but again, once I got up and going today I've been much better. Spent most of the morning playing outside and doing some training with Maggie. She's in a weird mood though, wouldn't eat her breakfast until 10am and started baring teeth when I tried to get her harness on for a walk so idk if we'll make it out to the woods today. The need for her to trust me and Matthew outweighs the need to go for a long walk every day. A quiet day won't do her any harm anyway as our walks the past week have been pretty long and intense. Maybe she's just worn out and needs some peace. Maybe she's due on 😬

*Reading that back, I'm really happy with that thought process bc if that had happened on one of my bad days, I would have spiralled. Today I'm happy to change my plans and still get stuff done. I highly doubt the medication is "working" after 2 days but I'm so glad to have had 2 good days in a row. Like I actually feel somewhat hopeful and positive about things in general. I'm just suspicious that a crash is coming but I'll take what I get. On a separate note, Maggie's bandanas arrived this morning and she looks so smart in them 😭😍

#personal #fitblr #weekend #walk #outside time #Maggie #puppy training #health blog #fitness blog #workout #arm day #health #fitness #fitbit #active fitblr #personal fitblr #meds #sertraline