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happy74827 · 5 months

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Loosing Control

[Gideon Graves x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Your love is a thing of magic. It's strong and apparently real and Gideon doesn't quite know how to deal with it.

WC: 2489

Category: Slight Lime/Spice {Gideon’s POV}

I’m actually surprised that so many people love my Gideon fics. The AMOUNT of anons I’ve suddenly started to receive this past week just because of this man is astronomical and I’m totally here for it!! (Also this gif got me feeling all types of things 🫣)

『••✎••』

Gideon Graves was at a loss for words. He didn't know what he had expected from this meeting, but it certainly wasn't this. He wasn't exactly in a position to be calling anyone out on the carpet, so to speak, but it had been at least an hour since you had burst into the office—pounding on the door, demanding to be let in—and Gideon had done nothing to stop you. Instead, he sat on his sofa, staring at you in silence. He'd already known you would be upset. He didn't need you to tell him that.

"Look," he said.

Gideon Graves was a genius. He knew that. His ability to multitask and think fast on his feet had gotten him far in his career and had garnered him numerous accolades and awards, from the Pulitzer to the Nobel Prize. And yet he hadn't expected you.

He wasn't sure what he had expected. You had been his assistant for nearly five years now. Gideon had made it clear from the beginning that he was not interested in anything more than a professional relationship between the two of you, but that didn't mean he hadn't thought about it. There was just something about you. The way your mouth moved when you were speaking. The way you stood so close to him in the mornings that he could smell the soap on your skin and the coffee on your breath.

"Just give me a minute," he said.

You blinked at him. "What?"

Gideon stood up and paced the room, adjusting his glasses and running his hands through his hair.

"There are so many things I want to say, but they all seem like the wrong things," he said. "I've never really been good with words."

You pressed your hand to your lips, shaking your head. "No, no, I get it. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here like this."

"You're not making this any easier for me, you know."

"No, I—I know." You drew your hand away, and your face flushed. You sat on the edge of the sofa, pulling your knees to your chest. "You don't have to make excuses for me or anything. I know I just barged in here."

"You always do that," Gideon said. He leaned his hip against the edge of his desk, resting his weight on his elbow. "You've been my assistant for five years now and you never knock."

You smiled. "You told me not to. You said I was always allowed to come into your office without knocking."

Gideon shrugged. He had been trying to get you out of his hair, to be completely honest. You had been such a nuisance—so nosy and needy and persistent—and yet he found himself drawn to you. He never meant for things to go this far. He was a lot of things, but unprofessional was not one of them.

He wasn't sure why you had come here. What you had possibly thought you were going to accomplish. Gideon Graves did not feel. Not in the way other people did. He could love, sure, but it wasn't in the traditional way. He could want and need and desire. But he wasn't capable of love. He hadn't loved his mother. He hadn't loved his father, though he had always been fond of the man.

Gideon had not loved you. Not at first. In fact, you had been an irritation, a nuisance. And yet, as time went on and you had learned to read him better, to anticipate his needs and desires, your presence became comforting. He liked being with you. He enjoyed listening to your voice, the way you laughed and smiled, and how you always looked so pleased with yourself, no matter how small the task you had completed.

"You have to understand," he said, "I'm not..."

Gideon searched your eyes. You were beautiful, he realized. You were soft and warm and kind, and he had never really thought of you as anything more than an assistant, but there was something about you now, something that made you look different. He couldn't quite explain it.

You were staring at him, your gaze fixed on his face.

Gideon cleared his throat. "You need to know what you're getting yourself into before we go any further."

Your brows drew together. "What do you mean?"

"I'm a broken man," he said, holding his hand in front of his face. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. "I can't promise you anything; I'm not... I’m not good at this sort of thing. You have to know that."

You tilted your head to one side, studying his face. He could see the worry in your expression. Gideon had seen that look before so many times. His father had given him that same look when Gideon had first told him he wanted to go to college. His mother had given him that same look when he had decided to move to Toronto alone. Even his own reflection in the mirror had looked at him with that same worried expression when Ramona had left him.

You looked at him as though you were afraid of him, but you didn't speak. You just looked at him, waiting.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he said, "and I can't promise that this will end up working out. It never has before, and it probably won't this time, either."

"Is this about Ramona?" you asked, your voice soft. "Is that what this is about?"

"No," Gideon said quickly. "That's in the past. That was... I was young and foolish."

"You weren't young," you said with a laugh. "I was literally there when you made the whole league thing. Then you got your ass—no offense—kicked by Pilgrim and that girl with the beautiful scarf.”

Gideon had never talked to anyone about that moment. He didn't talk about his failures, at least not when they were that severe. Even he had to admit that getting his ass kicked had been a bit of an embarrassing moment for him.

"Yeah, let’s not talk about that,"

You laughed again. "You know what this sounds like to me? It sounds like you're trying to talk me out of being with you."

"Well..." Gideon frowned, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I guess that's true."

Your expression softened. "That's because you think it's not going to work out, isn't it? Better not to try than fail, right?"

Gideon didn't speak.

You moved across the room, crossing the floor until you were standing in front of him. You placed your hands on his chest, sliding them up the sides of his neck and cradling his face in your hands. You were looking at him, searching his eyes.

"I know it's hard for you to trust people," you said, "but I've been by your side for five years, and you don’t need to use a chip for assurance that this will work."

“Wait a minute, hold on—”

You leaned into him, kissing his lips. You smiled against his mouth, giggling softly. You were kissing him. You were kissing him. You were actually kissing him, and Gideon didn't know what to do about it.

You pulled away and kissed him again, harder this time. You moved against him, pushing him back so that he fell against the edge of his desk. His heart was pounding in his chest. You had your hands on his shoulders now, pushing his coat from his body.

For once, Gideon didn’t have control, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He liked being in charge. It was what he was used to. He knew what he was doing and how to get things done. Yet, here he was, watching his jacket drop to the floor, feeling your hands on his body.

“Do you still think you need that chip of yours?” you asked, pressing your lips to his ear.

Gideon sighed, tilting his head back as you kissed his neck and his jaw. You were undoing his tie now, letting it drop to the floor.

“Listen, I had a perfectly good reason for that chip. Ramona, she was...I had a lot going on with her, and it just made sense at the time, but then—shit—I didn't mean—I didn't—this is—it's really complicated, okay?”

You were kissing him as he spoke. You kissed the corner of his mouth. You kissed his neck and collarbone. Gideon had to remind himself to breathe. He had to remind himself how to move. How to think. How to do anything.

"You really are all over the place," you murmured.

Gideon glanced at you, panting due to the lack of oxygen in his system. His eyes were full of you, the shape of your face, the sound of your voice. The curve of your nose. Your smile. Your lips.

You had your hands on his shoulders, that same soft, pleading look in your eyes. You looked at him as though you wanted something, and it was hard for him to deny you, but it wasn't that simple. It never was.

"I can't promise you anything," he said.

You nodded. "I know."

"I'm not the easiest person to be around. I don't even know how I'm supposed to...to..." He swallowed. "I just don't know how to do this."

You stepped away from him, taking your hands from his shoulders. You seemed to know the right thing to say. You always knew the right thing to say. "Don't worry about that right now."

Gideon turned from you. He needed to get a hold of himself. He couldn't be weak like this. He needed to be in control. He needed to focus.

"I need to get back to work," he said, rubbing his eyes with his hand. "We've been away for too long."

You stared at him for a moment. You seemed to be waiting for him to change his mind, but he didn't. He knew he needed to focus. He needed to do what he had always done. He needed to bury himself in work until it was all that consumed him, and there was nothing else to do but sleep and breathe.

"Okay," you said. “Okay, Gideon.”

He didn't look at you as you turned to go. You hadn't even given him a chance to ask you to stay. He couldn't look at you right now, so he didn't turn around as he heard you open the door, close it behind you, and leave.

You hadn't left him mentally, though. Not yet. He could still smell your perfume in the air. He could still see the shape of your body in the chair in front of his desk. He could hear the way you sighed, the way your voice had been soft when you had said his name.

Gideon needed to get back to work, but all he could think about was you. He didn't even know how he had managed to convince himself that it was a good idea to push you away. He did the opposite with Ramona, forcing her into his life until she was a part of him.

So why was it when you had actually wanted him, he had pushed you away?

It had never happened with anyone else, not like this.

Gideon reached up to his neck, touching the skin where your lips had been. It had only been a kiss, a simple touch, but he couldn't remember the last time someone had made him feel like this. You were so soft and kind and... beautiful.

He reached down for his fallen coat that you had tossed to the ground. He lifted it, carrying it to the back of the sofa. He picked up his tie, too, and placed it into the pocket of the jacket, folding it neatly.

There was so much he didn't understand about himself. There was so much he didn't know and would likely never know, but he knew how he felt about you. He could admit that to himself, at least, even if he couldn't admit it to you. Not yet.

“Idiot… Idiot.” Gideon groaned, burying his face in his hands. He sat down on the edge of the couch, falling onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling, his mind drifting back to you.

When Scott Pilgrim had won that battle against him, Gideon was left to wake up and realize that there was a whole world out there that he had no control over. It was a frightening thing for him to come to terms with, but there it was. The world was going on with or without him, and he couldn't change that.

You were there for him, though. You had always been there for him. You had been so soft and kind and gentle. His ego was completely shattered when Scott brought him to his knees, but you had been there for him, comforting him as he recovered emotionally.

And yet, that wasn't all you had done for him. You have helped him in so many ways since you started working with him. You were the perfect assistant—attentive, thorough, and never a bother. He could ask you to fetch anything for him, and you always had.

You also knew when he wanted to be left alone and respected his boundaries. He had to be very careful around people. If you use the wrong words or the wrong tone of voice, everything could fall apart. And it had—it was—with Ramona.

Ramona. It still hurt to think about her, but he could admit that what he felt for you was far different than what he had ever felt for Ramona. What he had felt for Ramona had been a sort of hyperfocus. That was what he told himself anyway. She made him feel things that no one else ever had, but it had never been real. And Gideon knew the difference. Ramona wasn’t love; it was obsession.

You were love. You made him feel so... so human. He didn't want to get into the nitty-gritty details of that, but you made him feel alive. You made him feel real.

Gideon sat up and crossed the room. When he was stressed, or upset, or upset because he was stressed, he found himself pacing. It was one of the few that helped him focus. As he paced, he glanced at the door, staring at the knob as he imagined you coming back through it.

That’s it, he thought. He needed to do something. He needed to go after you to make things right. Make sure that you knew he was serious. Make sure that you know what was at stake here.

Gideon wasn't good with words, but he knew that he would figure out a way. Figuring out ways to fix things had never been a problem for him.

He was the smartest man in the world. How hard could it be?

God, I need to learn how to write actual endings instead of leaving everything open 😭😭

Conclusions are the bane of my existence istg

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sunonyoreface · 1 year

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He Knows - Simon “Ghost” Riley Pt. 18

An: Thanks for your patience, March is a really busy month for me! The tension is building and I can't wait for the next part (19 is looking steamy).

Hi there, this is a series about Simon Riley from COD. This series does not follow any of the established plots or timelines from the games. While I use the names of some characters, they are different from the ones in COD.

Summary: You’re held captive by 141 for reasons unknown.

Word count: 2800

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

Warnings: angst, military setting, explicit language, graphic depictions of violence, use of knives, mentions of death.

I think of all the phone calls I’ve made throughout my life. The hundreds of hours I’ve spent talking to friends and family. Sharing the exciting news of getting into college with my childhood best friend who moved away in elementary school. Gossiping with my favourite coworker about an awful shift when she didn’t open with me in the morning. Listening closer to hear the whispers of shared secrets between the few people I really care about. Talking late into the night about that one person I couldn’t scrub from my mind. The conversation slowly dying down but neither of us ready to hang up. Neither of us ready for the silence after the line goes dead. The relief of hearing their voice after days or weeks of nothing. All those conversations flicker through my mind as I stare at the landline sitting on Captain Price’s desk. It’s a clunky, faded, black thing with a rubber coil attaching the receiver to the phone and the numbers on the keys have long since rubbed off.

I’m not prepared to hear his voice. After learning all I know about him, I don’t think it’ll sound the same. There’s no way the man I’m about to speak to is the one I’ve known my whole life.

Soap was supposed to be here. Then five minutes ago, he was called out to demolitions by another sergeant who said it was “urgent”. I wasn’t sure what his specialty was until recently and after getting to know him better, it makes perfect sense. He spends almost every waking moment out there, yet won’t tell me what they’re doing. Whenever I ask, he sits up straighter and has to suppress his smile, but I don’t miss the excitement in his eyes when he says it’s classified.

Right now I’d rather be there with Soap than sat in front of Price and Ghost and some scrawny man with equipment hooked to that damn phone. I’d rather be almost anywhere than here.

The script crinkles in my hand. The Captain already gave the go-ahead. Now it’s all on me. I feel Ghost’s eyes on me. I want to find some comfort in them, but just can’t. After he left, he told Price about the mole. He had to, I get it, but I also can’t help the feeling that nothing I say will stay between us.

I wish I was back in his room, lying on top of the covers and reading his copy of Huckleberry Finn knowing that no one could get to me. Only Simon.

And then the phone is in my hand, pressed against my ear: ringing once, twice. And then it stops. Shuffling sounds fill the other line. Then, I hear his voice. That voice that softens when it speaks to me. That has always been so understanding. That ordered those men to mercilessly take the lives of innocent civilians praying for salvation.

“Y/n?” he asks, almost unsure – like the possibility of talking to me might just be too good to be true.

“Hi,” the word dad almost slips from my lips, but I know if it does, I won’t be able to keep it together. My hands don’t feel attached to my body. Like somewhere in the numb space of my forearms, they were simply disconnected. My mouth is dry and I eye the script, but can’t get the words to come into focus.

“Are you okay? Have they hurt you? Are you eating?” there’s just something to his voice, that I can’t quite pin down. Something disingenuous. Like he’s only playing the role of a concerned parent. When I meet Ghost’s eyes, I know he hears it too. He nods, urging me to speak.

“I’m fine,” my voice is strangely even. “They said I could see you again. That they’d make a trade,” the rest of my body disconnects from my mind and suddenly I’m standing beside Ghost watching myself talk on the phone. The hope in my voice is real. The girl on the phone is going to go home safely to her dad. And it sounds like she genuinely believes every word she’s saying.

“Oh my sweet girl,” he croons. “I want nothing more. Your mother and I have been worried sick.”

“Mom?” I latch onto the hopeful word. “Is she there with you?”

“No, but she’s somewhere safe, being guarded by some of our best. You’ll get to see her soon,” he purposely leaves out her location, unknowing of 141’s extensive intel.

“Dad, I-I,” just like in the script, Price audibly warns me we’re short on time. An intentional move to add more pressure to our conversation. My father will have heard him in the background. “They said I can’t talk much longer,” my tone is rushed and worried. I see a small smile tug on the corner of Price’s mouth. I’m convincing.

“Hey,” he says. “Soon enough we’ll have all the time in the world,” the ultranationalist who snuck into my room said he was displeased that I leaked the ambush info, but you’d never pick up on that while listening to him on the phone. He hides his cruelty so well. Even knowing what he’s capable of now, the man I’m speaking to just doesn’t sound like the type. “But y/n, I’m going to need to know what they want from us first. Okay?”

“Okay,” I mumble like a scared child. I smooth out the script across my thighs and read off their demands. I recite the names of five men. Two of their leaders and three of 141’s soldiers who were taken prisoner at one point or another. Neither my father nor my uncles are on the list. There’s no way they’d trade one of themselves for me. Even I know that.

“Those are the men they want?” I hear a newfound tension in his voice as he shifts in his seat.

“That’s what they told me to say,” my eyes are glued to the paper. If I look at Ghost or Price now, I’ll lose my concentration.

He sighs deeply, “I’ll need a few days little bird, those are some top dogs. But I’m going to get you out, don’t you worry.”

I sniffle as though this is too much. Like hearing his voice made me realize how much I miss him and now I might cry. “Love you,” my voice cracks.

“Love you too darling,” the line goes silent for just a moment. “I’ll be in touch,” with these words, his voice significantly deepens. He’ll be in touch. He has his ways of contacting me despite 141’s precautions. I should expect a shadowy visitor very soon.

Then he hangs up. I place the phone back on the mount. Horror creeps its way up my shoulders and I know I’m back in my own body.

“Well done,” Price congratulates me. He’s surprised I did so well. I don’t come off as the type of person to perform well under pressure – I normally don’t – yet the phone call was almost flawless.

“Thank you,” I attempt a small smile, but inside, I feel awful. Dirty. Blindsided. I can’t believe that is the same man I’ve known my entire life. Sinking betrayal anchors my bones to the depths of the Mariana Trench. The immense pressure makes my head feel as though it’s about to implode upon itself. But along with the shame I now carry because of our kinship, there’s also molten anger stirring within my core, threatening to erupt.

“Thank you, Sergeant, you’re dismissed,” Price turns to the man who recorded the call and waits for him to leave. Ghost hasn’t said a word almost this entire time. Yet he closely watches the man leave with his equipment as suspicious as ever. He doesn’t trust a soul. Especially now. “Within the next few days, your little friend will pay another visit. We’ve installed another camera outside your door and tapped the room. Tell him the truth, just like he asked, we don’t need to aggravate them further, but it is essential he doesn’t think you snitched again,” Price’s tone has turned serious. He understands the gravity of the situation.

The ultranationalist could decide to kill me if he thinks I snitched again. He would certainly order the execution of my friends back home. While Price doesn’t care about them, he needs me alive. They won’t have the opportunity to ambush the Ultranationalists without me alive for a supposed exchange.

“Any questions?” he asks. For once, I have none.

“No sir.”

“Right. Ghost, your request is approved. Take the afternoon to complete it. Return her to her quarters before 1800,” he nods once toward the lieutenant. And then we’re off.

I don’t know why, but I expected him to say something as we navigate the halls. However, like usual, Ghost is completely stoic.

When we first met, I was always silently instructed to walk in front of him. Ghost was suspicious of me. Despite being cleared by intel, part of him still considered the possibility that I could be an Ultranationalist. By walking behind me he eliminated any chance of a surprise attack. His analytical eyes would trail up and down my frame trying to decipher any hidden motives. He’d take note of the length of my stride. How I hold my head, my shoulders. How my hands fidgeted and I picked at my nails and then my cuticles once they were too short.

Something has changed since then. A lot has changed.

Now I walk beside him. Close, but not close enough that our arms brush. Not close enough to attract suspicion. He no longer glares at me like I could turn on him at any moment. There’s so much more depth to his eyes when they steal small glances my way. Sometimes – like now as we walk along the sparsely populated halls - I feel him step closer so we’re almost touching, the heat of each other’s body is just noticeable, before he reminds himself that someone could come across us at any moment. Then, after a brief moment of indulgence, he once again shifts away to a more professional distance. I sense the same kind of longing pulses through his veins as mine.

My thoughts are interrupted as we continue to walk past my room.

“Aren’t you dropping me off?” the confusion is evident in my voice as my pace slows. Ghost turns to look at me while keeping his pace.

“No. We’re training,” he says. Training? Is this the request Price mentioned earlier? What kind of training is he referring to? What is Ghost planning?

“We are?”

“Affirmative,” he confirms. His long legs are hard to keep up to as they stride with purpose.

“What kind of training?” I ask.

“You’ll see,” Ghost says. And if I’m not mistaken, I almost detect a hint of teasing in his voice.

Yet, Ghost doesn’t take me to a gym or shooting range, instead, he leads me right back to his quarters.

“Is this a joke?” suspicion is evident in my voice. I hesitate as he waits for me to enter first.

“Negative,” the curt response is typical. He isn’t about to volunteer any additional information.

“What could we possibly train for in your room?” my mind involuntarily wanders to a variety of things, but none that will help with the exchange. As I make eye contact with him, my cheeks flush almost immediately. Ghost’s gaze is strong and unwavering. He knows exactly where my thoughts have drifted.

“I’ll show you,” he motions to the door. A small ball of nervous energy forms in my lower stomach. The type that has no place being here right now. The type that’ll get me into trouble. “First, I want to know your thoughts on the phone call?”

“I don’t want to think about the phone call,” I say as I leave him behind in the hall. Once inside, he takes his vest off and hangs it on the back of the door. Facing away from me, he slips off the skull mask and quickly replaces it with a plain black balaclava. My whole body freezes at the sight. I can’t believe he just took it off in front of me. His hair is darker than I thought it’d be. The strands are a stark contrast against his fair eyelashes. He wears it clean cut like most men in the military, short on the sides and more forgiving on top. But it’s overall longer than I imagined. My mind drifts to what it would feel like to run my fingers through the delicate strands. To gently trace my nails along his scalp. To roughly grasp him by the hair as he–

“It’s not often Price congratulates someone on their performance,” Ghost’s head tilts as he gauges my response. I don’t speak, my mind still stuck on the fact he took his mask off in front of me, even if I couldn’t see his face. “You were almost as good there as you were during the interrogations,” he continues. Heat creeps up my neck. I don’t know if it’s a feeling of flattery or embarrassment.

“I’m not good at it. It feels like I’m not even there,” like the actions aren’t even my own. It’s a dangerous feeling. How far can a person go when they don’t feel responsible for their actions? How far could I go?

“But you know you are?” his tone becomes mildly concerned. Does he think I’m slipping from reality?

“I know I am. It’s just easier to separate myself from what I’m doing,” I think out loud, my voice slowly fading toward the end of my sentence. Maybe it’s my brain’s way of protecting myself?

“Y/n, if it’s too much let me know,” Ghost says seriously as a gloved hand reaches out and touches my chin. It has been too much since the moment they kidnapped me. But now all I can do now is figure out how to survive until the exchange is over. “For this too.”

The second half of his sentence catches my attention.

“And what is ‘this?’” what does he keep alluding to?

Ghost’s delicate hand on my chin leaves as he reaches for something strapped to his belt. The gloved hand unsheathes a steel knife. He flips it around and offers the handle to me. I hesitantly take it from him, all the while closely watching his eyes. There’s a glint to them. Something troublesome. At this point, his intentions could be anything.

“What’s your safe word?” his husky voice is suddenly a lot lower as he takes a step backward and squares his shoulders. There’s an ambiguous spark in his eyes. One that’s about to catch fire. I can almost smell the damp, smouldering smoke in the air.

“Safe word?” my breath catches in my throat and I try to force a swallow. I choke back a nervous laugh. He’s joking, right? The knife feels unnatural in my hand.

“Think of one, sweetheart,” he rasps. There’s that damn name again. The one that makes it so fucking hard to think. My mind snags on it like a loose thread to a nail, pulling every thought out of order. Only he can mend me.

“Um, I don’t – Soap, I guess?” his call sign comes to mind first.

“Not Soap. Something different,” his head juts to the side with disapproval.

“Okay. Fine. Pizza then,” I’m still confused as to why he wants me to have a safe word.

“Pizza,” Ghost repeats to himself, burning it to memory. He takes another step back and I almost feel myself relaxing. My shoulders don’t feel so tense. The knife is no longer so heavy. I glance down at the mean little thing in my hand. I wonder how many people have died by this blade?

Ghost doesn’t wait for my eyes to return to his. From the edge of my peripheral, something large lunges at me. He’s incredibly fast. Just a flash of movement in the dim light. Fear hasn’t had the chance to take over yet. Instinct kicks in and I jump back out of the way, just narrowly escaping his first attempt at grabbing me. But there’s nowhere to go. The room is small and he’s closer to the door than I am. He wants me to fight. He’s forcing me to.

“The fuck are you doing?” I angrily spit at him as I corner myself between the dresser and wall, knife still in hand.

Ghost looks as terrifying as ever as he shifts to face me once more. His intimidating frame takes up the entire walkway between the bed and dresser. Those thick shoulders heave along with his chest as his breathing deepens. His gloved hands stay open at his sides, eager to grab at me again. Ghost’s sharp eyes look darker than before. He is completely locked in on me.

There is no escaping what comes next.

Pt 19:

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spiderrrling · 2 years

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"Did you just fake that?" - Eddie Munson x F! Reader Smut 18+

Request by @catastrofhe - eddie finds out that your ex never made you cum and was shockingly bad in bed sooooooooooo he overstimulates you until you’re crying - love you <3

Warnings - mean dom! Eddie, piv sex, overstimulation, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, dirty talk overload, crying, written at 2 am and not proofread

Word Count - 2.1k

Masterlist - Taglist - 18+ Taglist - Requests are open

All parties are 18+ and consenting, minors do not engage!

Comments, feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

“Why- why’d you stop?” You looked up at Eddie with big eyes from where you were laying, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders, feeling the flex of his muscles below your fingers. Sweat had beaded along your hairline and your breath was short as it caught on the tip of your tongue.

Eddie had stopped his thrusts, but remained inside of you, letting his hips rest against yours, the soft bush of his pubes brush against your exposed soft skin. You couldn’t read his expression, which was a first. Normally Eddie was an open book that you could read, just like he could read you.

But now you couldn’t make out a single thought, a single feeling on his face. There was something almost sad in his eyes, but also angry. It was an emotion you couldn’t accurately name other than maybe disappointment.

“Are you faking this right now?”

“What- what do you mean?”

“This, are you faking how you feel right now?”

“No- no I’m not I swear,” And that was true, you weren’t lying when you said that.

“But you fake your orgasms?”

It wasn’t as if sex with Eddie didn’t feel good, he knew what he was doing, and he knew how to make you feel good. You just could never get just to where you needed to be, so sometimes it was simply easier to… fake it. And it wasn’t as if you didn’t have practice from your ex.

But you should have known better, you knew that Eddie was perceptive, so it really shouldn’t have been as much of a shock to you as it was when he finally confronted you about it.

“Eddie what are you saying-”

“Don’t lie to me sweetheart don’t do that to me-

Eddie had been suspicious of you for a little while, trying his best to learn what you liked, what you don’t like and something just didn’t add up. At first he got frustrated thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, that he couldn’t give you what you needed, or that something was wrong.

But he couldn’t help but be slightly suspicious of you the longer your little ruse went on, and that frustrated him more that you simply wouldn’t tell him what was wrong.

He was determined to know what was wrong, what thoughts were running through that pretty little head of yours that was driving you both crazy.

“I’m not lying!”

“I consider faking orgasms lying baby.” That is when you knew for certain that the look in his eyes had been disappointment. “How many times-”

“Don’t- don’t be mad-”

“Mad? You think I’m mad? Sweetheart I am beyond angry, so tell me how many times.”

“A-all- all of them…” Fuck you couldn’t even look at him your head turned to the side staring intensely at one of the posters hanging on the wall. Unexpectedly Eddie thrusted into you, hard. Harder than he ever had and you whined on instinctively, your mouth hanging open and the pretty noise ringing through the air in his bedroom which was still tense.

“But you like that, fuck just listen to you-” Eddie underlined his point by thrusting into you again, garnering the same response as before and a quick smirk of satisfaction grew over his lips. “Yet you’ve never cum when we-”

“I’ve never had an orgasm when having sex before,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself, your cheeks burning with hot pink.

“Never?” Now that piqued Eddie’s curiosity to hear. “Not even with-”

“No- not even with my ex…” You bit at your bottom lip and finally looked back at him, it almost looked like his eyes had softened a little, but you still couldn’t tell.

“But you’ve had orgasms before?” The question was genuine, coming from a place of genuinely wanting to know. “I think so- like when I’m by myself but I don’t- I don’t know,” you bit at your lower lip and locked your eyebrows together. Before you knew what was happening Eddie pulled out of your sopping wet heat and you whined at the loss of contact, tightening around nothing longing for the feeling of him filling you.

“Show me-” Eddie grabbed for your hand, loosening it from the grip around his shoulders and guiding it between your bodies. “Show me how you touch yourself.”

He was serious… and intense. More intense than you had ever seen him before. You didn’t know it for sure, but you had a feeling that disobeying him wouldn’t end well for you. Your fingers started slowly running through your folds, starting with one finger but quickly adding another one. You were beyond worked up already from Eddie fucking you, slick and sweat coating your fingers.

“C’mon sweetheart I wanna hear how desperate you are just from your fingers don’t hold back from me.” Eddie’s lips were fast at work buried in the soft supple skin of your neck. His teeth dragged along where you were most sensitive, forcing your back into an arch.

And that is how you ended up in your current situation, on your back with your knees hiked up to your ears and Eddie buried deep between them. He had made you keep track, counting each orgasm he gave you.

Eddie helped you with your first one, slipping his fingers into your cunt while you worked over your clit a little clumsily. Reaching your first orgasm you were a shaking trembling mess, whimpers and mewls spilling from your lips as your orgasm crested. He never stopped his fingers, determined to make sure this was a real one, something you couldn’t fake. Eddie pulled his fingers out of you and stuck them in his mouth, lapping at them with his tongue to clean them off and he groaned around his fingers.

“Fuck you taste heavenly- and you’ve been keeping this from me baby?” Eddie finally broke the wordless silence between you as he pulled his fingers out of his mouth. “And your sounds, god you sound so beautiful when you cum on my fingers… makes me wonder what it’ll be like when you finally get to cum around my cock.”

His words were intoxicating, pulling you into him further but you were so tired. Eddie however, did not seem to care. His tongue and lips against yours as he ate you out until you cried, face buried between your thighs until tears threatened to spill from your eyes. Any sound coming out from your mouth was unintelligible, barely even words at that point, yet Eddie was not close to being done with you.

“Tell me how many that was sweetheart,” Eddie murmured, he hadn’t fucked you properly yet, only with his fingers and mouth. With every orgasm he brought you he had to hold back from his own, the real whimpers of his name on your lips sounded so much sweeter than the fake ones. He would never be able to get enough of them. Eddie smacked the side of your thigh when you didn’t respond and repeated his former question. “Tell me how many orgasms I’ve given you.”

Again, it wasn’t a question, it was a demand.

“F-four,” you finally managed to croak out the tiny one syllable word that still snagged on your lips as you struggled to recover. You were so sensitive, your pussy red and soaked, your cum mixed with Eddie’s saliva dripped out of you, more tears welling in your eyes with each touch.

And Eddie was loving it, seeing you writhing in pleasure from his touch. Real pleasure this time, no more of the fake stuff. Oh and you looked so pretty, hair all messy as your head was thrown back into his pillow, sweat beading and glistening along your soft and supple skin, cheeks flushed with pink and eyes glossy with the promise of tears.

“Now, I’m going to fuck you and you are going to lay back and take it,” Eddie whispered to you, his eyes fixated on your face, you were entrancing to him.

“No- Eddie please I- I can’t-” But you wanted to, it was all you wanted even though your body was screaming for rest.

“You’ve cum all of four times sweetheart, it’s kind of unfair if I don’t get to cum at least once, wouldn’t you agree?” His tone was almost mocking, but also seeped in caring, a contradicting mix that made your head spin.

“I can’t take it Eds please-”

“Oh but I know how much you can take baby, so take it for me, be good for me.” Eddie wasn’t focused at all on what he was saying, too busy lining his cock up with your ruined hole and sinking into you with a low groan. It wasn’t until he was inside of you he realised just how desperate he had been for you.

Your ruined gummy walls were heavenly around his cock. And your reaction to him fucking you made it all so much better.

“See there you are taking my cock so fucking well, and still so tight even after four orgasms…” Eddie teased like there was no tomorrow, “guess I’ll have to just carve out my spot in you huh?”

You squeezed around him at his words and he chuckled in response, pouting at you ever so slightly. “Yeah you like the sound of that?” he thrusted into you hard just to hear you mewling in response, “c’mon baby tell me you want me to mould your sweet little pussy so only I fit inside of you.”

It was too much, you were so sensitive that each word, each slight movement drove you insane, he was splitting you open deeper than he ever had before. Making your toes curl in pleasure and your head spin. The air reeked of sweat, and sex, and cum. Your mouth hung open, and you tried to formulate a response but nothing of substance came out, you couldn’t think straight barely formulate words.

The only thing on your mind was Eddie, every thrust he gave you, every word he whispered. He was all that occupied your mind.

“Struggling to think now are we? Fucked out, drunk on my cock, desperate for me to give you another orgasm?” His voice was low, but hurried, meaning it wouldn’t take long before he reached his own peak. “Ask me for it and I’ll let you have one more, if not I’ll happily jerk myself off and finish on your stomach…”

That was a threat, and a very real one at that.

“Please Eddie-”

“Please what, sweetheart?” He knew that you were barely hanging on, which made it all the more sweeter to work you up until you broke. Eddie’s hips were rhythmically rolling against yours, bringing you waves of pleasure that made you choke with tears. “Please Eddie-” you choked on your words with a hollow sounding sob, “please let me cum.”

“Yeah, yeah sweetheart go ahead cream on my cock for real this time.” You didn’t need much more encouragement than that, already feeling your orgasm rapidly approaching, the pit of pleasure in your stomach building and building until you couldn’t breathe when it finally washed over you.

You were so sensitive, your orgasm crashed into you without letting you breathe, your vision clouded with stars and as you shut them tears spilled over and ran down your cheeks. You clenched around Eddie tighter and tighter with every thrust he continued to give you, fucking you through your orgasm and his own.

The second you tipped over the edge and clenched around him, Eddie was done for. Shooting white, hot, ropes of cum into your already drenched cunt. His lips clumsily searched for yours in desperation and he groaned into your open mouth, teeth clashing and saliva mixing as he kissed you roughly until both of you came down from your highs.

When he finally pulled out of you, both of you were limp and exhausted as he collapsed next to you on the bed. Blinding searching for you even though you were right next to him. Soft tears still rolling down your cheeks as Eddie slotted your body against his.

His lips finding your cheeks and kissing away at them to dry off your tears, enjoying the sweet salty taste against his lips. “You’re ok, you’re ok shh I’m here I’m sorry,” he murmured to you, cooing at you softly until your tears stopped and your breathing returned to normal.

“Are you ok?” Eddie’s hand cupped your face softly, his eyes finding yours, there was nothing hard in them anymore, they were soft, caring, maybe a little worried.

“Did I-”

“Make me cum?”

“I was gonna say push you too far? But based on that reaction I’d say you’re fine,” Eddie laughed softly and the knit of his eyebrows released as he brushed your hair out of your face so he could get a better look at you. He leaned in and pressed his lips against your forehead for a brief moment before pulling away.

“Just never lie to me again, ok?”

“Honestly… if we end up like this I might need to do it more often…”

Mutuals - @uglypastels @catastrofhe @eddiemunsons-girl

18+ Taglist - @obiwanakenobi @ghoulsgraveyard @xbreezymeadowsx @a-villain-vying-for-attention @meaganjm @ediemunsonswife36 @AMK0127Sadie @eddiemunsonbby @bloommieb @heebyjeebiebbs @mun5on @salome-c @milly-louise @imagine-all-the-imagines @kbakery @sweetpeapod @heebyjeebiebbs @eddieshellfireshirt @Sunsetenigma @hellfire-state-of-mind @cumbersome-robes @m-rae23 @aerdna023 @magnoliakegmm @adoredconnor @escape-in-time-x @sirpascal @eddiemusnon @eddiemunsons-girl @iddieforeddiemunson @simpingoverfictionalppl @ruinedbythehobbit @xcarabear @kaqua @KelpsieFynn @black-and-white1 @bluetreecloud20 @soph69420world @munsonluvbot @munsonlovebot @evilunicorn4minions @bohemian-war @violet-19999 @littleesilvia @howlinghybrid @eddiemunsonsbxtch @inkedaztec @emotionaldreamer @munsonswhore86

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dailyexo · 1 year

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[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun - 230223 W Korea: “Days With Baekhyun”

Returning after two years, Baekhyun used the word “comfort” often.

Baekhyun’s only wish is to sing heart-felt, timeless songs for us. Baekhyun talked about the days spent with us and the days ahead of us.

How many days has it been since you were discharged from the military?

Today is precisely the third day since I’ve been out.

You have finally gifted flower shoes to the fans. (‘Giving flower shoes’ is a Korean phrase that means returning to the significant other who had been waiting for their partner to return from military service.)

I know. Before I left for the military, I told the fans that many things could change in a year and nine months. How could I make them wait? I told them to focus on their own lives but come back if they feel like it when I return. I said, if anything, I would try to win them back again.

So, you recently did a live show to celebrate discharge. Seeing you’re still as bright and youthful, fans recalled the time you promoted your second solo mini-album, “Delight,” released three years ago.

Honestly, I was super worried. But I was relieved to see their warm reactions. I’m grateful to my parents. Haha.

You talked about your time in the army during the live show.

Most of my training campmates were born after 1999, except for a few. I was the eldest there. Everyone followed me like their older brother. I still keep in touch with the friends I met then. Recently, I got a call from one of them. He said, “I am working out at the gym right now.” He was a skinny one, and every single day at the training camp, I told him to work out.

Baekhyun, as we know, was the life of the party among the EXO and SuperM members. Your bubbly personality would have shined in the army training camp.

There was no exception. I didn’t let anyone fall behind. Whenever I saw someone wanting to give up, I said, “You can’t lose to things like this,” “If you keep giving up, this becomes your habit,” and, “Real life outside is much harder than this.” I don’t let my friends give up or fall behind. I pull them together.

I presume the past two years have been a time to realize and reassess who Byun Baek Hyun really is as a person, not just Beakhyun from EXO.

Yeah. My MBTI changed during the break from ISFP to ESTJ. I’ve been known as a homebody for a long time among my friends. But I’m actually an extrovert and a very active person. But when I look back on my childhood, I barely had time to spend at home. To the point where my mother always said, “How come I see my son only for breakfast?” I felt like I went back to my real self during the break.

Was it also a time to realize again what your fans mean to you?

Of course. I still have a long way to go to learn about the fans thoroughly. There’s something I learned this time, though. The fact that our existence to each other is a lot bigger than what we think. During the first year of my alternative military service, I looked back a lot. I watched a lot of the past concert videos. At concerts, I had a lot of fun with them. There were times when I saw my facial expression on the stage and thought I really did bust my butt to pull everything. Also, sometimes I felt really empty and felt this unfillable void. At one point, I thought, “Will they still be there?” while listening to the cheers of fans in those videos. They are like a really good teacher who would grade me and encourage me. They inspire me to do my homework. They have had me run, take lessons and become a better person. I want to do well to hear their acknowledgment. If they didn’t exist, I probably would not have tried so hard to come this far.

Your Namu-wiki page has a “Fan Love” section. As we read through the things you’ve said to the fans, we thought even a real boyfriend couldn’t say such sweet things.

Haha. Definitely my mom’s influence there. She speaks so gently. She is the sweetest person, really. And I am the youngest in the family. My family poured sweet love on me. Sometimes, fans ask me how I can speak so nicely. To be honest, I don’t know. I feel it’s nothing special, to me, a very ordinary and everyday thing.

It seems like fans could rarely feel the army break. You filmed 20 pieces of YouTube content ahead of time and released them during the break.

I know how hard it is to wait. Even when we did the EXO concert tour, we couldn’t release an album during that time. So it had been a long-standing concern about how to fill the vacancy. In particular, no one was trying to do something special to fill the vacancy during the military break. At first, I thought about making a small game instead of a video. Like the Tamagotchi game, fans can foster ‘Baekhyun’ from level 1 for 641 days while I am away. Feed him, water him. Haha.

The background in planning the pre-created YouTube Content was to give fans something to calm their longings, but also in some parts, wishing your fans would not forget you by watching these videos, right?

Yeah, that is pretty much it. Actually, I was swamped when we were filming the YouTube videos. I had a hectic schedule. It was just around when my third solo mini album Bambi came out, and on top of that, SuperM’s promotion overlapped. But after filming them, I felt so indescribably proud.

The 2021 album Bambi leaves much to be desired in some ways because it had no official activities due to your military service. Nonetheless, it recorded high sales, enough to bring the double million-seller title. It was also the album released in the year of your 30th birthday, showcasing your finest skills as a vocalist.

Bambi was created strictly with my own needs and vision. I tried everything I wanted to do without looking at anyone, and I wanted to free my mind by doing so. You are right. I put in everything I could as a vocalist. I first rearranged my vocal tone around the time of my first solo mini-album City Lights in 2019, and I wanted to see how much I had grown since then. I became very dedicated because I thought I could make a better sound than two years ago. I tried the vocal ranges that I wouldn’t have chosen in the past because I was too nervous. I purposely chose difficult music because I wanted to experience both failures and trials.

In particular, the title song "Bambi" seems to have been a regular song for the music school entrance exam that year. It’s perfect for showing off your vocal skills going back and forth freely with your falsetto, modal, and head voice.

Well, I don’t really recommend it. It’s a high-risk song, the beat and rhythm are tough. It’s a pretty challenging song to sing well.

With the release of Bambi, Baekhyun’s genre and brand have become more apparent. "Baekhyun" reminds us of groovy R&B beats from "UN Village" in the album City Lights and "Candy" in Delight.

R&B is a genre that I’ve been attached to for a long time, so I’ll continue with it. However, I also want new challenges. I want to try this and that without being too picky. I want to be an all-rounder. I’m interested in singing-rap these days.

Which musician are you paying attention to as a reference these days?

I’ve gotten closer to Colde recently. I like his singing style, and it’s fabulous that he pulls off the melody rhythmically as if he’s rapping. I’ve requested songs from Colde. I don’t know what kind of work will come out yet, but we’ll work together soon.

As a musician, there’s no more valuable experience than getting a “response” to your song. All three solo albums released so far have recorded respectable sales. Did you expect such success?

Not at all. It exceeded my expectations. This record was possible thanks to the efforts of many K-pop singers ahead of me. In particular, the sales volume of the second album was the highest in 20 years of Korean pop music history.

Delight became the first solo album to achieve the million-seller title, and you became the second artist to hold such titles for both the group and solo albums, following after Seo Tai-ji.

Yes, but it’s all thanks to the dedication of so many Korean musicians. As K-pop became more known worldwide, more people started paying attention to K-culture. The Korean artists before me had already paved the roads and I just got to piggyback on them.

I don’t feel any guilt when I listen to your music. Maybe it’s a complete anachronism, but there’s still a certain prejudice regarding idol music. Similarly, some idol music is referred to as a ‘hidden masterpiece.’ But when I listen to Baekhyun’s solo music, I feel like I’m just listening to really good music.

Thanks. I indeed paid a lot of attention to that. I chose a lot of genres that wouldn’t come from SM. SM prefers strong and intense sounds, but I wanted to focus on easy-listening music. It was partly because of my preference and strategic choice to differentiate between EXO and solo activities. Seeing that many of the tracks from my solo albums are still receiving a ot of love, I think it was a good decision.

It is common to spot excessiveness in solo albums by Idol group members. It was rather unique that Baekhyun has an easy mood, as you’ve just said.

I pushed for that. I kept thinking, ‘I’ll make more easy-listening music,’ ‘The music should not change in the middle,’ and ‘The melody should flow as expected.’ I wanted to minimize statement sounds and focus on the lyrics. There was even some feedback from the company that it fell short. But I kept pushing. My motto was to do something that sounds easy to people’s ears, like passive music, even if it may not feel ‘sophisticated or innovative’ for some.

What you just said seems connected to the question of, ‘what is good music to me as a musician?’

Probably. In a way, I’m making music that’s pleasant to listen to. But I don’t usually listen to a lot of music. My ears are so tired. Since I’m a singer, I need to know a lot of songs, but when I find one I like, I listen to it over and over. There’s something in common when I look at the songs I’m hooked on. It’s not too much, and it just has one or two significant factors.

For example?

I especially like old-fashioned pop songs. Fibo Bryson’s "Why Goodbye" is also a song that I love, for example. If you listen to it, there’s a particular section once in the bridge, once in the chorus, and once in the verse. You can listen to it comfortably, and the sound is completely filled with only vocals.

What is the vocal tone you pursue?

If I could have a voice that doesn’t go out of date, I couldn’t ask for more.

It’s also the most challenging thing.

I know. I once imagined, “Will Baekhyun’s episode of ‘Hidden Singer’ come out?” I don’t think so. Because my voice doesn’t have a distinctive feature. But it’s definitely a voice that can give you some comfort. A good tone depends on the time and taste. It’s something that keeps moving without being fixed. So I just want my voice to be peaceful and stable. I hope I can make the sound warm enough to relax your body. That’s all I want.

It’s been 11 years since your debut, and you’re still taking vocal lessons every week, right?

Yes. I have a big desire to evolve. I thought about it when EXO received a lot of attention with Growl in 2013. ‘Why are so many people going crazy? Am I really that good? I don’t think so. If the heat goes away, they will see me.’ That’s why I kept trying. I always criticize myself more than others do. It’s not a matter of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. I’m just continuing to make up for my shortcomings because I know my weaknesses better than anyone else.

To me, Baekhyun is not a person with low self-esteem but one who constantly and carefully self-censors himself.

Yes, that’s right. Maybe I am a perfectionist, and I hate it when there’s no complete ending. If I don’t think I can finish something properly, I don’t even start. I tend to get extremely disappointed with myself if I don’t do something perfectly at work.

A perfectionist who pursues easiness… It sounds hard. Haha

Haha. As a musician, I want to be an easy person who can blend in with the public. I don’t want to be a musician who is so cool that people admire and want to follow. I want to be someone people can talk to easily when they meet me on the street while listening to my song.

The only regret for Baekhyun as a solo musician is that he had little opportunity to tell autobiographical stories in music. What kind of stories do you want to tell through your music as 32-year-old Baekhyun?

I want to deliver encouraging lyrics. And deliver the message that you shouldn’t give up easily and try to face more challenges. I think the disappearance of the “Jeong” culture played a role in making people get easily tired these days. In the past, when a neighbor moved in, we used to make steamed rice cakes. If the next door neighbor cooks a lot of food, they would share it with others. But living in a disconnected world without affection, people seem to think only of themselves. I want to put a hopeful message in my song that we can all unite in harmony again.

It’s been two years since W Magazine and Baekhyun met—, since the cover of the March 2021 issue, right? Throughout today’s shoot, the staff said you were sexy. Baekhyun’s “soft sexiness” that you’ve shown in your solo career seems to be reflected in today’s shoot.

Sexy… Haha. I don’t think the sexiness that I have is the sexiness that’s full of intense emotions. It’s more like this. Sometimes you play with your friends, and you feel unexpectedly sexy. I think I have the sexiness to make people a little curious about me. Haha

Today’s shoot was with Cartier’s Tank Frances Watch and Icon Collection. These are pieces that have been called Wannabe by many artists for their timeless classic aesthetic. Regardless of timea and nationality, who is the greatest artist for Baekhyun?

Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was the only artist who stood still on stage for a few seconds or minutes and people couldn’t stop cheering. His songs have made many people cry for a long time, giving them joy and happiness. So just seeing him standing still on the stage makes them tear up. There isn’t an artist who can beat Michael Jackson.

Still, what would be your secret weapon that you could win over Michael Jackson?

Hmm… My gentle way of talking? Haha.

EXO recently announced the news of EXO’s 11th-anniversary fan meeting. What would it look like if you were to compare EXO to family?

Children who were raised by a strict father but had an infinitely sweet mother? Maybe the stage is our dad. We work hard on stage until it feels like our bodies would break literally. But when we get off stage, we act like kids. Not one friend is rude, and everyone is so kind. When we talk to each other, there’s no difference from when we debuted 11 years ago or when we were trainees.

What are the three things Baekhyun is focusing on these days?

I’m into golf. Out on the golf field, my arms got so tanned, dark enough to leave a watch mark on my wrist. I feel very relieved when I go rounding and see the open space. The second one is the direction of the vocals. And for the third, I was going to say exercise but I’m going to change that. (Kim) Jong-kook, whom I became close with through workouts, said, “It’s time for you to focus on your back.” But hip workouts are too hard. Haha. The last one is EXO’s comeback. We will return as soon as possible with a high-quality album this year.

Photo links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Credit: W Korea.

#EXO #EXO K #Baekhyun #230223 #exo im #exo k im #baekhyun im #magazine #magazine:w korea #p:news #t:news #fs:w korea #comeback:Fight

87 notes · View notes

exoluxionlove · 1 year

Text

Baekhyun Interview - W Korea March 2023

Days With Baekhyun Returning after two years, Baekhyun used the word "comfort" often.

- - - - -

Baekhyun's only wish is to sing heart-felt, timeless songs for us. Baekhyun talked about the days spent with us and the days ahead of us.

<W Korea> How many days has it been since you were discharged from the military?

Today is precisely the third day since I've been out.

You have finally gifted flower shoes to the fans. ('Giving flower shoes' is a Korean phrase that means returning to the significant other who had been waiting for their partner to return from military service.)

So, you recently did a live show to celebrate discharge. Seeing you're still as bright and youthful, fans recalled the time you promoted your second solo mini-album, "Delight," released three years ago.

Honestly, I was super worried. But I was relieved to see their warm reactions. I'm grateful to my parents. Haha.

You talked about your time in the army during the live show.

Most of my training campmates were born after 1999, except for a few. I was the eldest there. Everyone followed me like their older brother. I still keep in touch with the friends I met then. Recently, I got a call from one of them. He said, "I am working out at the gym right now." He was a skinny one, and every single day at the training camp, I told him to work out.

Baekhyun, as we know, was the life of the party among the EXO and SuperM members. Your bubbly personality would have shined in the army training camp.

There was no exception. I didn't let anyone fall behind. Whenever I saw someone wanting to give up, I said, "You can't lose to things like this," "If you keep giving up, this becomes your habit," and, "Real life outside is much harder than this." I don’'t let my friends give up or fall behind. I pull them together.

I presume the past two years have been a time to realize and reassess who Byun Baekhyun really is as a person, not just Baekhyun from EXO.

Yeah. My MBTI changed during the break from ISFP to ESTJ. I've been known as a homebody for a long time among my friends. But I’'m actually an extrovert and a very active person. But when I look back on my childhood, I barely had time to spend at home. To the point where my mother always said, "How come I see my son only for breakfast?" I felt like I went back to my real self during the break.

Was it also a time to realize again what your fans mean to you?

Of course. I still have a long way to go to learn about the fans thoroughly. There's something I learned this time, though. The fact that our existence to each other is a lot bigger than what we think. During the first year of my alternative military service, I looked back a lot. I watched a lot of the past concert videos. At concerts, I had a lot of fun with them. There were times when I saw my facial expression on the stage and thought I really did bust my butt to pull everything. Also, sometimes I felt really empty and felt this unfillable void. At one point, I thought, "Will they still be there?" while listening to the cheers of fans in those videos. They are like a really good teacher who would grade me and encourage me. They inspire me to do my homework. They have had me run, take lessons and become a better person. I want to do well to hear their acknowledgment. If they didn't exist, I probably would not have tried so hard to come this far.

Your Namu-wiki page has a "Fan Love" section. As we read through the things you've said to the fans, we thought even a real boyfriend couldn't say such sweet things.

Haha. Definitely my mom's influence there. She speaks so gently. She is the sweetest person, really. And I am the youngest in the family. My family poured sweet love on me. Sometimes, fans ask me how I can speak so nicely. To be honest, I don't know. I feel it's nothing special, to me, a very ordinary and everyday thing.

It seems like fans could rarely feel the army break. You filmed 20 pieces of YouTube content ahead of time and released them during the break.

I know how hard it is to wait. Even when we did the EXO concert tour, we couldn't release an album during that time. So it had been a long-standing concern about how to fill the vacancy. In particular, no one was trying to do something special to fill the vacancy during the military break. At first, I thought about making a small game instead of a video. Like the Tamagotchi game, fans can foster 'Baekhyun' from level 1 for 641 days while I am away. Feed him, water him. Haha.

Yeah, that is pretty much it. Actually, I was swamped when we were filming the YouTube videos. I had a hectic schedule. It was just around when my third solo mini album <Bambi> came out, and on top of that, SuperM’'s promotion overlapped. But after filming them, I felt so indescribably proud.

The 2021 album <Bambi> leaves much to be desired in some ways because it had no official activities due to your military service. Nonetheless, it recorded high sales, enough to bring the double million-seller title. It was also the album released in the year of your 30th birthday, showcasing your finest skills as a vocalist.

<Bambi> was created strictly with my own needs and vision. I tried everything I wanted to do without looking at anyone, and I wanted to free my mind by doing so. You are right. I put in everything I could as a vocalist. I first rearranged my vocal tone around the time of my first solo mini-album <City Lights> in 2019, and I wanted to see how much I had grown since then. I became very dedicated because I thought I could make a better sound than two years ago. I tried the vocal ranges that I wouldn't have chosen in the past because I was too nervous. I purposely chose difficult music because I wanted to experience both failures and trials.

In particular, the title song Bambi seems to have been a regular song for the music school entrance exam that year. It's perfect for showing off your vocal skills going back and forth freely with your falsetto, modal, and head voice.

Well, I don't really recommend it. It's a high-risk song, the beat and rhythm are tough. It's a pretty challenging song to sing well.

With the release of <Bambi>, Baekhyun's genre and brand have become more apparent. "Baekhyun" reminds us of groovy R&B beats from UN Village in the album <City Lights> and Candy in <Delight>.

R&B is a genre that I've been attached to for a long time, so I’ll continue with it. However, I also want new challenges. I want to try this and that without being too picky. I want to be an all-rounder. I'm interested in singing-rap these days.

Which musician are you paying attention to as a reference these days?

I've gotten closer to Colde recently. I like his singing style, and it's fabulous that he pulls off the melody rhythmically as if he's rapping. I've requested songs from Colde. I don't know what kind of work will come out yet, but we'll work together soon.

As a musician, there's no more valuable experience than getting a "response" to your song. All three solo albums released so far have recorded respectable sales. Did you expect such success?

Not at all. It exceeded my expectations. This record was possible thanks to the efforts of many K-pop singers ahead of me. In particular, the sales volume of the second album <Delight> was the highest in 20 years of Korean pop music history.

<Delight> became the first solo album to achieve the million-seller title, and you became the second artist to hold such titles for both the group and solo albums, following after Seo Tai-ji.

Yes, but it's all thanks to the dedication of so many Korean musicians. As K-pop became more known worldwide, more people started paying attention to K-culture. The Korean artists before me had already paved the roads and I just got to piggyback on them.

I don't feel any guilt when I listen to your music. Maybe it's a complete anachronism, but there's still a certain prejudice regarding idol music. Similarly, some idol music is referred to as a 'hidden masterpiece.' But when I listen to Baekhyun's solo music, I feel like I'm just listening to really good music.

Thanks. I indeed paid a lot of attention to that. I chose a lot of genres that wouldn't come from SM. SM prefers strong and intense sounds, but I wanted to focus on easy-listening music. It was partly because of my preference and strategic choice to differentiate between EXO and solo activities. Seeing that many of the tracks from my solo albums are still receiving a lot of love, I think it was a good decision.

It is common to spot excessiveness in solo albums by Idol group members. It was rather unique that Baekhyun has an easy mood, as you've just said.

I pushed for that. I kept thinking, 'I'll make more easy-listening music,' 'The music should not change in the middle,' and 'The melody should flow as expected.' I wanted to minimize statement sounds and focus on the lyrics. There was even some feedback from the company that it fell short. But I kept pushing. My motto was to do something that sounds easy to people's ears, like passive music, even if it may not feel 'sophisticated or innovative' for some.

What you just said seems connected to the question of, 'what is good music to me as a musician?'

Probably. In a way, I'm making music that's pleasant to listen to. But I don't usually listen to a lot of music. My ears are so tired. Since I'm a singer, I need to know a lot of songs, but when I find one I like, I listen to it over and over. There's something in common when I look at the songs I'm hooked on. It's not too much, and it just has one or two significant factors.

For example?

I especially like old-fashioned pop songs. Peabo Bryson's Why Goodbye is also a song that I love, for example. If you listen to it, there's a particular section once in the bridge, once in the chorus, and once in the verse. You can listen to it comfortably, and the sound is completely filled with only vocals.

What is the vocal tone you pursue?

If I could have a voice that doesn't go out of date, I couldn't ask for more.

It's also the most challenging thing.

I know. I once imagined, "Will Baekhyun's episode of 'Hidden Singer' come out?" I don't think so. Because my voice doesn't have a distinctive feature. But it's definitely a voice that can give you some comfort. A good tone depends on the time and taste. It's something that keeps moving without being fixed. So I just want my voice to be peaceful and stable. I hope I can make the sound warm enough to relax your body. That's all I want.

It's been 11 years since your debut, and you're still taking vocal lessons every week, right?

Yes. I have a big desire to evolve. I thought about it when EXO received a lot of attention with Growl in 2013. 'Why are so many people going crazy? Am I really that good? I don't think so. If the heat goes away, they will see me.' That's why I kept trying. I always criticize myself more than others do. It's not a matter of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. I'm just continuing to make up for my shortcomings because I know my weaknesses better than anyone else.

To me, Baekhyun is not a person with low self-esteem but one who constantly and carefully self-censors himself.

Yes, that's right. Maybe I am a perfectionist, and I hate it when there's no complete ending. If I don't think I can finish something properly, I don't even start. I tend to get extremely disappointed with myself if I don't do something perfectly at work.

A perfectionist who pursues easiness... It sounds hard. Haha.

Haha. As a musician, I want to be an easy person who can blend in with the public. I don't want to be a musician who is so cool that people admire and want to follow. I want to be someone people can talk to easily when they meet me on the street while listening to my song.

I want to deliver encouraging lyrics. And deliver the message that you shouldn’'t give up easily and try to face more challenges. I think the disappearance of the "Jeong" culture played a role in making people get easily tired these days. In the past, when a neighbor moved in, we used to make steamed rice cakes. If the next door neighbor cooks a lot of food, they would share it with others. But living in a disconnected world without affection, people seem to think only of themselves. I want to put a hopeful message in my song that we can all unite in harmony again.

It's been two years since W Magazine and Baekhyun met—, since the cover of the March 2021 issue, right? Throughout today's shoot, the staff said you were sexy. Baekhyun's "soft sexiness" that you've shown in your solo career seems to be reflected in today's shoot.

Sexy... Haha. I don't think the sexiness that I have is the sexiness that's full of intense emotions. It's more like this. Sometimes you play with your friends, and you feel unexpectedly sexy. I think I have the sexiness to make people a little curious about me. Haha.

Today's shoot was with Cartier's Tank Française Watch and Icon Collection. These are pieces that have been called Wannabe by many artists for their timeless classic aesthetic. Regardless of time and nationality, who is the greatest artist for Baekhyun?

Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was the only artist who stood still on stage for a few seconds or minutes and people couldn't stop cheering. His songs have made many people cry for a long time, giving them joy and happiness. So just seeing him standing still on the stage makes them tear up. There isn't an artist who can beat Michael Jackson.

Still, what would be your secret weapon that you could win over Michael Jackson?

Hmm... My gentle way of talking? Haha.

EXO recently announced the news of EXO’s 11th-anniversary fan meeting. What would it look like if you were to compare EXO to family?

Children who were raised by a strict father but had an infinitely sweet mother? Maybe the stage is our dad. We work hard on stage until it feels like our bodies would break literally. But when we get off stage, we act like kids. Not one friend is rude, and everyone is so kind. When we talk to each other, ther's no difference from when we debuted 11 years ago or when we were trainees.

What are the three things Baekhyun is focusing on these days?

I'm into golf. Out on the golf field, my arms got so tanned, dark enough to leave a watch mark on my wrist. I feel very relieved when I go rounding and see the open space. The second one is the direction of the vocals. And for the third, I was going to say exercise but I'm going to change that. (Kim) Jong-kook, whom I became close with through workouts, said, "It's time for you to focus on your back." But hip workouts are too hard. Haha. The last one is EXO's comeback. We will return as soon as possible with a high-quality album this year.

Source

#Baekhyun #Exo #W Korea

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violetmuses · 10 months

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Intertwined - Zemo (Chapter 2)

TITLE: “Intertwined” - Helmut Zemo (Detective AU)

FANDOM: Marvel (Modern AU)

CHARACTER: Helmut Zemo

MAIN PAIRING: Helmut Zemo + Female Reader

MAIN STORYLINE: When Zemo unexpectedly finds himself working in a new department, you change his world forever.

Author’s Note: Hey! Chapter 2 is here. Please let me know what you think and feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading my work as always. - V. 💜

Intertwined - Masterlist 🔍

Main Masterlist 💜

Tags: @norabrice1701 @tavners 🏷

___________

After nearly racing back to the precinct, you mull over important details.

That victim lost their life, loved ones were informed, Zemo suggested that an expert marksman could be responsible, and this tragedy occurred in an apartment building, too.

Yet, potential suspects hadn’t been confirmed as of late, not even neighbors or the summer party guests.

“Could we trace something towards the victim’s background? Perhaps there were enemies.” Zemo sat beside you as a department tech clicked through another database.

“Enemies? A college student was killed, Zemo. Not some global diplomat.” You immediately pull defenses and attempt to humanize this situation. Someone is dead, of course.

“Consider every possibility. As I’ve said, no average civilian would pull their trigger this way to kill someone here.” Zemo continues.

“What else do you suggest?” You cross both arms, wanting to leave.

“If the killer’s bullet planned to send a message, then we should start again.” Zemo kept these riddles going and you nearly cast your eyes towards the ceiling.

“Are you saying that we should interrogate the victim's family again?” Soon after, your heart drops.

“No.” Zemo clarifies his response once the database tech leaves and you’re alone with him near this shut down computer. “Moving away from the inner circle could answer more questions. We have only learned some basics from paperwork.”

Branch out. You think to yourself.

****

“When are you coming home?” Heike asks the question through another call with Zemo.

“Later than expected unfortunately. We haven’t even solved this case yet.” Zemo affirms, sighing for a moment as he paces.

“Just come home…Please?” Heike settles down personal frustration and sends best wishes to her husband. There’s no other choice.

“I will. I love you.” Zemo ends this call, sitting in silence.

_________

The victim’s final roommates, two ironic Criminal Justice majors, meet you and Zemo in a private area. For the sake of this investigation, you cannot risk speaking in public. Of course, it’s known that anyone could be listening, even the perpetrator.

“Nothing unusual happened. We all looked forward to graduation and said goodbye to each other after the ceremony on campus.” One roommate spoke up, shaking their head for a moment after recounting this version of their last few memories.

“Was the victim social?” Zemo clears his throat, offering his own question rather than being cut off by other people.

“As social as we could be during those years. Even I worked through our school's pre-law track.” The first roommate goes on. Meanwhile, their nearby classmate nods in silence, waiting for the chance to be addressed.

All work, no play. More textbooks than tequila. Zemo glances towards you, silently agreeing.

“Any issues?” You question them, trying to see if the classmates had significant problems.

“No. All three of us got along.” The second roommate chimes in and softly grins this time around.

Good on the surface. Now what? You’re standing at a proverbial crossroads right now. Any upcoming questions may very well shift everything.

Before long, you turn to Zemo, who quickly catches your extra round of silence without saying much in return. He needs to help you out.

In that moment, he knows so much better than to slide pictures from the crime scene. Recent television broadcasts show enough chaos.

“How close was your relationship with the victim?” He questions both roommates and those wheels start turning in your head once more. Still, you stay mute, listening instead.

“Not close like family, but we cared about each other. This whole situation is terrible.” That Pre-Law roommate holds their heart while looking at Zemo and furrows brows.

“Thank you.” Zemo rises from a chair and gathers his favorite coat, ending this chat. You have no other choice but to follow him.

“Did we answer your questions, Detective?” That Pre-Law roommate asks, still sitting down.

“You both assisted.” Zemo glances over his shoulder, leaving through the exit with you almost trailing behind every footstep.

****

“Flaky?” You question Zemo in this car, heading back to the precinct.

“Everyone grieves differently of course, but something did not feel right.” Zemo sighs without facing you and concentrates on driving. His amber eyes lock towards the road.

“Which roommate?” You squint again.

“The Pre-Law student.” Zemo rasps through his accented English once more, trying not to lose composure.

Shit. You think.

***

Bingo.

You found information on that “potentially suspicious” pre-law student. After zipping right back to the precinct, more department techs clicked through open databases again.

“All right. Let’s see: transfer student, full-ride scholarship to the university, affluent relatives.” You mark the so-called bulletpoints after printing off details.

“Affluent relatives? How do that student’s parents earn income?” At this moment, Zemo nearly freezes, but immediately looks at you.

“The guy’s father is a defense attorney and Mom owns this beach resort.” You clarify, holding up one part of the stapled part document.

“Two different industries.” Zemo wipes down his exhausted face, plopping down in another chair and sitting across from you.

“We should head to Dad first.” You suggest. “The defense attorney concept looks promising.”

“Fair.” Zemo cuts.

“Can’t hang?” You joke without giving much humor. On the other hand, Zemo cringes as he drinks chilled styrofoam tea.

“I’m fine.” Zemo fibs, remembering that Heike would rather see him at home, not traveling everywhere in this country.

“We’ll go tomorrow. Night.” You catch that lie from Zemo, but still don’t embarrass him.

Both of you work to reorganize paperwork and lock down the filing cabinets, gathering belongings to leave.

__________

Zemo can’t sleep that night. He’s pacing back and forth in the small hotel room, not enjoying luxury here. A glass of ice water, not whisky, rests in his leftward palm.

One large view of blinding streetlights and downtown traffic casts beyond rear windows. No breathtaking architecture loomed in front of him.

Come home. Heike’s gentle voice sends a reminder to Zemo’s thoughts.

Seconds later, your face reaches his memory as well.

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stillhavetodothat · 2 years

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Replaying Nancy Drew without cheating - Part Four: The Final Scene

AND HERE IT IS....

Is The Final Scene the MOST brilliant game in the entire Nancy Drew series??

Hear me out. It has literally everything you could ever want out of a Nancy Drew game. Danger. Mystery. A ticking clock. A lack of pointless chores. An intriguing backstory. An amazing soundtrack. An extremely sassy Nancy. A caked up Nicholas Falcone.

I think the ONLY thing that is missing from this game, honestly, is length. I think it is well-known in the community that this game is too short, especially on replay, but I recently learned that this was the first game that HerInteractive put out on a 2-a-year schedule, so the development was rushed. After TRT, the company almost could not afford to continue making games, so they had to switch strategies. Technically, FIN saved the franchise. In that context, the only disappointment is that they didn’t have more time to work on this absolute MASTERPIECE.

I also think my love for this game has grown after reading the book that it’s based on. Queen Simone Mueller was adapted from a boring male Simon Mueller, the talented Louisa Falcone was adapted froma boring male Louis Falcone. The Harry Houdini storyline was completely new in the game. Brady Armstrong having a vested interest in the theater demolition was also new in the game and made him a much more interesting and sinister character. I know that this book was written in the 80s, but Bess’s one-dimensionality (obsessed with food and boys) annoys me; much happier to see Vietnamese-American college student as the kidnapee instead.

Not cheating in this game was super easy for me. It’s another game I’ve played a dozen times, so even if I didn’t remember the exact sequence of events, I quickly was able to move the game along. I finished in under 3 hours, and that is with being consistently distracted by the NFL game my fiance had on in the background. Having three distinct days makes this game very sequential and hard to get stuck.

Some random thoughts I had during this replay:

1. Someone put this soundtrack on vinyl, PLEASE. I would literally murder someone to play this in the background while reading a book and smoking a joint on my couch.

2. Even as a child, I loved Nicholas Falcone. There is just something about a man with a passion. Nothing used to turn me on (still does turn me on) than Nicholas’s intellectual negging of a dim-witted Brady Charmstrong during the press conference. This was also the first time I really took the time to listen to the entire press conference from the ticket booth...pure gold.

3. Speaking of the ticket booth, taking to Sargeant Ramsay on the phone is absolutely hilarious. Who is this voice actor? Someone find him and give him more gigs. And Eustacia Andropov? An incredible character and a treat of a phone call as well. WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT?? I think this is probably the funniest game there is.

4. Let’s just go ahead and go through some of the best quotes of the game. “I may have to cut this short, Hal. Someone just climbed out of my wardrobe.” (entirely unphased) “I think your phone’s about to ring.” “Take a breath and pinch yourself, because it’s reeeally happening: Brady Armstrong, in the flesh. Star of Vanishing Destiny? Go ahead, faint. I’ll catch you.” “Why don’t you tell that little grey troll that I think he did it just to keep himself from dying of boredom in this old dump. THAT’s my comment.” “Fight the power.” (a classic) "Mr. Charmstrong, do you find that your fans respond to you more in your chicken suit or curly wig?" “Maybe you’d better think about being ‘in on the law’ and ‘down with the truth’ Nicholas.” “More? I’m 96 over here. I don’t exactly have time to burn.” “You tell that Sherman Trout Eustacia said, ‘You’re not dead yet, Shermie, so get up and make yourself useful.’” “Armstrong: Uh, do we still like him or what?”

5. Joseph always scared the hell out of me. Even to this day. He is creepy and he IS a little grey troll. Why is he constantly trying to get me to leave the theater and go to bed in the middle of the day? Why is he lying about his brother Jake? Why is he always popping up in the most chilling way possible? I hate him. I suspected him from the very beginning.

6. When Nancy says that Maya never goes ANYWHERE without her press pass...ma’am you are an undergrad student at Washington University. Please calm down.

7. Not sure if anyone remembers, but back in the day on the HerInteractive message boards people used to put all the games they had finished in their signature for all their posts. Some would just put a list of all the games, but others would get creative (including me, although it wasn’t creativity on my part as much as it was copying other people). Their signature would say things like “I have Stayed Tuned for Danger,” or “I have discovered The Secret of the Scarlet Hand.” FIN’s was “I have seen The Final Scene” and I still to this day say this whenever I talk about this game with anyone. Throwback.

8. I never would have figured out the gum on wand bit if not for the message boards back in the day, and my memory of it now.

9. This is a game that is more about the mystery and less about the puzzles. I loved this one, even though this is probably the hardest part of the entire game (besides the gum on wand thing).

10. The ending is SO intense. Because I know exactly what to do, it is less so, but the whole thing still gives me goosebumps. That timer in the corner quickly ticking down? Hiding in the closet when the police do their final sweep? Joseph being an absolute psychopath? The focus knob breaking off? The KEYS? MAYA BEHIND GLASS?? TRYING TO BREAK THE GLASS WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER? JOSEPH BEING A PSYCHOPATH AGAIN?? (I can let it slide that defeating the culprit involves flashing them with a cheap prize from an ancient game in a decaying basement. It’s still so good).

11. Also, I have a print of this in my house right now because of this game. I don’t even know the artist, but I love it.

So thankful to rediscover my love for this game. Can it top Treasure in a Royal Tower and Dexter’s sexy, raspy voice? Maybe not. But it is up there.

Next stop: DC!

#nancy drew #nancy drew games #nancy drew pc games #pc gaming #herinteractive #the final rule #fin

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egenvs3000f23 · 7 months

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Week 2 My role as an environmental interpreter

Describe your ideal role of environmental interpreter. What might it entail? Where might it be? What skills might you need? (Keep these all-in mind as you begin to work on your assignments – tailor these to that ideal job!)

Blog Response:

When I call it a day and am off to sleep, I think about the events, choices and attitudes of the day just passed. The most fulfilling days always involve time spent in the outdoors, having used my mind, my body, learned something new, and having had the opportunity to get to know or spend time with the people around me. I love speaking with others, learning their world views, and the differences and similarities between myself and the given person, or group of people.

This being said, my ideal job, or role in an environmental interpretation position is one where I am outside, working as a discovery facilitator, and one where I am active throughout the day. It is a dream job of mine to work as a hiking guide or a bikepacking tour guide in a national park! I’m graduating this year and am applying to jobs with these roles involved in them! I am so nervous but cannot wait to see how things go!

Based on my previous experience, as mentioned in the last post, I had the chance to work in a nature interpretation role with BC parks! It gave me a lot of insight into how differently people learn, and how what works really well for some people, makes no sense to others. Age is also a big factor, I was better at working with the adults at the interpretation events than kids. However I must say, that the enthusiasm of kids discovering and learning in the outdoors cannot be beat! It was really helpful, as noted in the readings, to build a sense of rapport between you and those being communicated with, it really makes people listen to what you say because they know where your credibility lies, and how it fits within theirs. It develops a sense of trust and friendship which can make learning what otherwise could be dry information, interesting, digestible and meaningful.

I need to do some more research on how to appeal to different learning styles, but I think it is hard to make plans without having a good understanding of the audience first. How one actually intends to play to different learning styles is very context specific. I suppose the solution, to this, and the best quality, most accessible nature interpretation is to always play to different learning styles and just be adaptable as the audience makes their ways known. There could be visual learners so always having maps, diagrams images, paper and pencils on hand could be good ideas. For those who tend towards kinesthetic learning, making sure there is a physical component to the information, a game, a hike, or bike while learning about different species for example. Understanding that there are active and reflexive listeners, sensing and intuitive listeners, sequential and global learners, and then just playing to the needs of individuals in the given group is I think the best way to go. This is something I’ve learned that I need to make sure to focus on when doing nature interpretation in the future.

I think that its worth mentioning that even if someone is a specific type of learner they still have much to gain from learning in other ways as well. There are simply some things that cannot be learned through one type of learning. One cannot learn how to ride a bike by drawing it out, the drawing could help demonstrate the information, but learning to ride a bike will always be a kinesthetic task. I would expect that everyone has a different balance of the types of learning, but that everyone makes some use of them all at some point. This is a viewpoint I plan to take with me into any nature interpreting career. Always include all the learning styles, but don’t focus too hard to cater to one specific type while neglecting the others. Catering to the individuals, and crowd but still being realistic!

A fun aside (an app I really enjoy using myself):

An app that could be relevant to readers! i-naturalist is a great app for learning about species in the outdoors. You can upload a photo, make a guess as to what you think it is, and you then find out if you are correct on the app. It is also super fascinating because it catalogs and records all the sightings of species and keeps the data for science and the public to use!

Another gif! Go adventure in the outdoors!

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posswrites · 2 years

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Red Vs Green [Harry/Hermione]

Part 1 of my “Toffee and Cherries” series.

Rating: General

Word Count: 2,100

Summary: Harry finds out the real reason why Hermione wanted to come to the Quidditch World Cup.

If Harry was being honest, he really only had sided with Ron to cheer for Bulgaria because he hadn't wanted him to feel left out while everyone else in the tent was rooting for Ireland. Based off what Fred and George had been talking about all day and the bets they'd placed on Ireland winning, it was clear they had a better shot. They had better moves, better teamwork - Bulgaria had stronger players, but Ireland worked better together, which was what Quidditch was all about when it came down to it.

They'd predicted that Krum would catch the Snitch, but Ireland would win, which was an astounding prospect for him. He'd never seen a Quidditch game like that. He'd always caught the Snitch and won the game, and it wasn't a very common thing to happen, so he hoped they were right.

Even Hermione, who had never been interested in the mechanics of the game, had been asking questions about different formations and technicalities. Fred and George were sitting at the table, painting each other's faces, when Hermione had decided she wanted to learn more. "Well, I've been re-reading Quidditch Through the Ages over the summer and-"

"Wait." That had gotten Harry's attention. He'd been listening to Ron argue across the room with Fred and George about how Krum wouldn't wait until Ireland was up enough to catch the Snitch when Harry heard Hermione's words. "You've been reading Quidditch Through the Ages?"

"Well, of course!" she turned, looking at him with a grin. "I didn't want to be completely out of the loop. I mean, I kind of skimmed through it in first year, you know, but actually reading it in detail is very interesting. Did you know that the modern Quaffle is known as a Pennifold Quaffle because of Daisy Pennifold, who charmed the Quaffle to fall slower to the ground than a regular ball? Otherwise it would hit the ground way too fast and be too dangerous for the Chasers to dive after it. There were loads fewer injuries."

Harry was speechless for a moment. She willingly read - no, studied - a book about Quidditch before she came to the match so she'd know more about the game? She'd never done that for any of his games. She'd been there at every one to cheer him on, but she hadn't seemed to be interested until Ron invited her to the World Cup. "Why?"

"Why what?"

The tent fell silent. Fred and George were looking at each other like they were waiting for something to happen, Ron had stilled, and Ginny poked her head out of the bedroom.

Harry looked around the room, not wanting to cause an issue right before the game, and he hadn't even been hostile. What were they expecting him to say?

"I just... didn't think that you were that interested in Quidditch, that's all," he said simply.

"Well, I came to this game, didn't I?"

Harry was tempted to glance at Ron, but didn't want to bring him into it. "Yes."

"So obviously I am. And I've been to all of your games."

"Yeah, but-"

"Is it so wrong to research things your best friend is interested in?"

"No."

"So what's the problem?"

"It's just weird to hear you talking about it."

Suddenly, Hermione frowned, becoming very concerned. "In a bad way?"

"What?" Harry was taken aback. "No, not at all. A good way." Then, he looked at Ron, who just shrugged. Hermione had turned back around to look at Fred and George, but she seemed relieved as she continued the conversation. Harry figured it would be best to keep quiet.

A little while later, once everyone was dressed in their silly scarves and hats, Hermione caught Harry as they were about to head out. She grabbed his hand, but quickly let go. "Wait! Can you... I think I want my face painted."

"Really?" he asked, fighting back a laugh, but turning back into the tent. "Why didn't you ask Fred and George while they were doing theirs?"

"I... I don't know - them being that close feels weird. Their... hands on my face and all that. I just... would rather have someone I'm more comfortable with."

Harry swallowed. He'd have to touch her face. Right. Why did that make him nervous?

Noticing their absence, Ron stuck his head back into the tent. "Are you two coming?" he asked.

"Just a minute," Hermione called. "I want to grab a couple things. You go on ahead. We'll catch up."

Harry's mind dove so far into the gutter at her words, but he managed to pull it back out. Keep it together, Harry. You can't think about her like that. Gross. No, it certainly wasn't gross. Snap out of it.

Luckily, Hermione didn't seem to notice his internal struggle. Either that, or she didn't say anything. She moved to the table where Fred and George had left the paint and sat down on one side, patting the spot in front of her. "Come on, Harry."

Then they were both straddling the bench, looking at each other, and Harry quickly wiped his hands on his pants. He wasn't about to be able to hold a paintbrush with sweaty hands. "So... what do you want?"

"Not my whole face," she laughed. "Maybe just a flag?"

"On your forehead?" Harry teased.

"No! On my cheek!" Hermione grinned and turned her face.

"Fine," he smirked. Harry opened the container of green paint and dipped the paintbrush in carefully before holding it up near Hermione's face. "Are you sure you want me to do this, Hermione? You've seen my handwriting."

"Yes, Harry, I'm sure," she insisted. "It doesn't have to be perfect."

"Coming from you? That's a shock."

"Because you're the one doing it," Hermione smirked. "I'm taking your skill into account."

Harry couldn't help but laugh, but his smile faded a little bit as he carefully put one hand on her jaw to steady himself. If he hadn't been trying to focus completely on her cheek, he would have seen her eyes glance down to his lips, her breath hitching as gentle fingers touched her face.

At the first swipe of green paint, Hermione let out a giggle, and Harry finally looked up at her eyes, which were wide and bright and beautiful now that he was so close to them.

"It's cold," she whispered. "Tickles."

"O-Oh. Sorry..."

"It's okay. Keep going."

Harry swallowed thickly, leaving a small space underneath the green for the white stripe like George had before putting another green one. She didn't squirm nearly as much, maybe since she was expecting it. He could see her staring at him out of the corner of his eye, and tried not to get shaky again. It was almost a relief when he pulled away and moved his hand to wipe off the paintbrush. "So, er... you really wanted to come to the match?"

"Of course I did, Harry," she replied, a little breathless and flushed. "Why are you so insistent that I didn't?"

"Well, I just want to make sure you're going to have a good time, that's all. I know... I know you enjoy coming to the games but this is like... going to a school football game versus going to a FIFA game. It's a completely different atmosphere. Everything’s more intense and I didn’t think it would quite be your kind of event."

"I know. But I also know I'm in good company."

"With Ron?" he asked, trying to sound casual. He dipped the brush in the white paint and his hand took its place on Hermione's jaw again as he swiped a white stripe between the green ones. Hermione didn't speak while Harry worked, waiting for him to be done so he didn't mess it up. But the wait was agonizing. Finally, he moved the brush away again to clean it off.

"With you."

Harry's eyes shot up to Hermione's. The green on her cheek looked amazing in contrast with the brown of her eyes, and the green and white scarf around her neck was making him have visions of her in Slytherin. But even if she was in Slytherin, she'd still be beautiful. Beautiful. How had he never noticed it before? The shy smile she gave him released a flutter of butterflies in his stomach and suddenly, he wasn't sure if he was even interested in Quidditch anymore. This seemed to be a much better way to spend the evening. But that's not what he said.

"We should... probably get going, yeah?" He made sure to return her smile, though, so she didn't think he'd missed her words.

"Right, yes... probably. How’s it look?”

“Pretty good, actually. I mean, it’s just three stripes. Not hard to mess up.”

Hermione quickly got up and crossed the tent to one of the mirrors. Had she been blushing that much the whole time? Her hand reached up to touch the place Harry’s hand had been, but she played it off as an itch. “It’s perfect. Thank you, Harry. Do you really think Bulgaria’s going to win?”

“No,” Harry laughed. “Not that I know a ton of their players, but Krum’s the most famous one, and he’s the seeker. There’s so much more that has to go into a good game than just the seeker.”

“Coming from you?” she smirked and turned to look at him again.

“Oh, please. I enjoy being the seeker because I get to watch the game for a little bit, at least.”

“That’s what you’re always floating around for? I thought you were actually playing.”

Harry shook his head and grabbed their binoculars. “Guess you don’t know that much about Quidditch after all. It doesn’t take me that long to catch the Snitch once I see it. Wood’s told me to hold off before.”

“Does that confidence work on everyone?” Hermione asked as they headed out of the tent.

“Is it working on you?”

Hermione paused for a moment, letting out a breath. “Maybe… I think I want to make a bet, too.”

“Yeah?” Harry raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t very difficult to find the way to the stadium, as all they had to do was follow the sea of people, but it was crowded, and Hermione’s hand quickly found his so they wouldn’t lose each other. He looked down to their hands, then back up at her. “Wh-What’s the bet?”

“If Ireland wins… you have to buy me an ice cream at Florean Fortescue's when we go get our books.”

It was Harry’s turn to blush. That kind of sounded like a date. “Deal. And if Bulgaria wins?”

Hermione reddened further, squeezing his hand but avoiding his eyes. “If Bulgaria wins, it’s my treat.”

“So we’re betting on ice cream?”

“What’s wrong with that? Is there something else you’d rather bet on?” She was looking nervous again, as if she was worried she’d misread Harry’s signals.

“No, nothing’s wrong with that! Just... can I add something?”

“Sure.”

“If Bulgaria wins, if you’re okay with it…” He couldn’t believe he was even going for it. Was he ready for this? With her? It would change things, for sure. But he kept thinking about her reaction when he touched her, how much she’d been blushing, how nervous she seemed to get when they were alone, and the butterflies she put in his stomach when she gave him that one specific smile that seemed to be only reserved for him. “I think I'd like to kiss you.”

Hermione stopped walking, and Harry stopped with her, people gently pushing past them and around them. She turned to face him and looked down at his lips again. “Do you want to?”

“Yes. After the ice cream, of course. Don’t want to get ahead of ourselves,” he tried to tease, but the tension patted it down.

“Well, considering there’s not much chance that Bulgaria will win, how about… if Ireland wins, you have to buy me ice cream and I’ll let you know by the end of the date if I’ve decided whether or not you get to kiss me.”

Harry’s eyes widened briefly as he mentally started counting down the days until they went to Diagon Alley. “I… I think that’s fair.”

“Okay. Deal.”

“Deal.

They didn’t stop holding hands until they got to the stadium and met up with the others in the top row, glad the wind was blowing enough to keep their blushes from looking too obvious.

Either way, it didn’t really sound like it mattered who won - they’d both end up with a good deal.

#the fluff #it kills me #hp fanfic #harry potter #harry x hermione #harry and hermione #hermione granger #hp fanfiction #ao3 #fluff #gof #goblet of fire #hp gof #rewrite #quidditch #fanfiction #harmony #harmione

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dreams-and-drabbles · 1 year

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I’d like to offer you all a huge thanks for the support. I did not expect my blog to be so well received, and for that, I thank ya’ll. Asks make my day, as do the hearts, the reblogs, the comments, and most of all— YOU. YOU, THE READERS ARE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING TO ME. Seriously, I wish I could bake ya’ll some muffins or an apple pie. Those are the only two things I’m confident in baking, haha. Anyways, given all the good reception— I figured I’d tell ya’ll a bit about myself!!! As such, here’s 20 facts about your author!!!!

I have anime protagonist hair, and I hate it. Essentially, my hair never stays still. Think— Bakugou with Best Jeanist. No matter how I style it, POOF!!!!! I cut my hair myself, too, and style it. I’ve actually gotten pretty good, and occasionally I’ll redo my cosplay wigs, as well. I’m cheap like that, but also— There is something very cathartic about cutting hair.

I am a cat person. Actually, I’d go so far as to say I’m a cat fanatic. I’m obsessed with cats to the point it’s almost unhealthy. For example, I see a cat in the road— Next thing you know, I’m crossing the street. Yeaaaah. Cats are great.

I love coffee, but only when it’s black. Listen, if I want to kill my tastebuds, I’ll order a frappe or something. Why would I drown the drinks natural flavor? ((My favorite type of coffee is Sumatra, by the way. It’s very good and if you haven’t tried it, I strongly recommend. ))

The only food I can’t stand isn’t even a food, its a condiment. Mayonnaise. I swear, I hate that stuff, and I’ve been known to come up with some crazy food combinations. ((Cheetos in chocolate milk, peanut butter and pepper jelly sandwiches, sugar cookies and hummus, etc…)) Mayonnaise is just not for me. I don’t know why— Maybe it’s the texture, but eh. I don’t want to think too hard about something I detest as much as I do mayonnaise.

I don’t fall out of fandoms, I shuffle through them. I will have one week where I’m absolutely obsessed with Jujutsu Kaisen, and then I may see a post about Naruto, and that one gets a turn— Of course, I still like the other fandoms I’m in, but the one that’s on my mind— Well, I get very sucked in. At least, until something random switches things up again.

I don’t mind not talking to friends often. I’m not the type to get butt hurt if someone doesn’t talk to me for a while— I actually get relieved when plans are cancelled last minute. I’m perfectly capable of socialising, but given the choice, I’d rather chill by myself. I rarely ever reach out first, and if I do, well— I absolutely adore that person.

For the life of me, I cannot stay still. I’m always either tapping my fingers, or kicking my legs, if I’m in a situation where I’m forced to sit.

I am not scared of the dark, but I have this weird thing where I have to be able to see my hands. If I can’t see them, then I get scared, haha!

I’m very much a people pleaser, which is funny, as it’s contradictory. While socialising drains me at times, I cannot stand the idea of conflict. I HATE ARGUMENTS. If it’s to avoid conflicts, then, I’ll do just about anything. That’s not to say, I can’t set boundaries. I’m actually a huge stickler on that. I just tend to put others first by habit. I get some confrontation is necessary in life, but conflict? Eeeek. I hate that. I especially hate arguing, when really, you have words. You don’t need to yell. Just talk things out, yanno?

My biggest pet peeve is when I say something, and the matter keeps getting pushed. I will open up to someone on my own terms, and anyone who pushes a matter after I’ve set a boundary, well— I don’t think that sort of behaviour is something I’d want to be around, anyways. (( Don’t let people walk all over you, if you’re uncomfy just say so!!! I learned this the hard way, ahaha. I hope you all have a better time than me. 🖤✨))

If I had to choose a quote that I say often, it would be either “Life is pain” or “Most likely kill you in the morning.” Both quotes are from The Princess Bride. If you haven’t read/watched it, well— Such a notion is inconceivable!!! I strongly recommend both the book and the film adaptation. ((It’s one of the few film adaptations that I find enjoyable. It’s a classic, after all!!!)

My least favourite cliché in writing is where the Main Character is suddenly best friends with everybody. Like— Hello?!? That’s not how people work!!! Heck, even Mystic Messenger and Obey Me have some conflict with the MC. NO RANDOM STRANGER IS GOING TO LOVE YOU LIKE THAT RIGHT AWAY !!! If I wanted something like that, I’d watch a Disney movie, not sit down and read.

I tend to be a pretty forgiving person, so when I finally reach a certain threshold, I cut people off. The majority of the times, it’s emotionally. I just go numb. I will never go out of my way to be rude to someone, even if I dislike them, but I’m also not going to give them an inch into my personal life. I’ll be civil. I won’t be friendly. You can be polite to someone, while still making it clear you have no interest in them.

If I push something off, then it doesn’t happen, and if it does happen— Well, usually it’s months later. *awkwardly gestures to the asks that have been in my inbox *

I am not the type to fawn over smelly good things, and I rarely ever wear perfumes, or scented hand sanitisers. On the other hand, I LOVE playing mad scientist. I make perfumes, write the recipes down, and once I’m satisfied— I promptly hand out the finished product to other people. ((Friends, family members, etc—))

The majority of my clothes fall under either cottage core, dark academia, or grunge in their aesthetic. I will almost always make an effort to look decent, if I’m going out. I rarely ever go out, though, sooo— Well, that’s what my several hoodies are for. I’m a fiend for hoodies, I swear— Will I spend money on Genshin? Rarely. Will I drop like 50$ on a Naruto hoodie at the mall? Oh, absolutely.

I won’t lie and say I’m a good person. I’m actually pretty skewed in the ways of morals. I do, however, believe in honesty above all else. That, and freedom— You can be honest without being mean. It’s all in the phrasing. As for freedom? Each and every person has their own life. Who is anyone else to tell a person how they should think? Personally, I feel as each and every person only knows their thoughts— It’s kind of dumb to try and force those on others. Of course, sharing thoughts is cool, but attempting to force an idea on someone else. That’s just rude.

I’m not religious, but I do believe in something? I guess, agnostic is probably the best term to describe myself. I also tend to avoid religion as a subject, and this is only on here for the sake of fun facts✨

I am prone to disappearing for months on end, so if my Tumblr is inactive— It’s just my yearly vanishing act. I also occasionally delete my socials, and make new ones, when I’m feeling especially drained. ((My discord is the main one. I think I’ve shuffled through like three Discords by now??? I post on Insta and Facebook maybe twice a year, so they’re not really worth mentioning. Speaking of Discord, if you’d like to be friends on there— I did make a new one. It’s SIU#0687 and that is the only Discord I am using at the moment. Naturally, if I delete this one— I’ll update the info here. I don’t exactly know why I delete accounts, but sometimes they just feel so cluttered. I do have an insta which is dreamsanddrabbles , but I only just made it, and probs won’t be very active. Nonetheless, feel free to hmu on either Discord or Insta. Discord is your best bet tho.))

You’re more than welcome to PM me or what not. As I stated earlier, I rarely reach out to anyone, but that doesn’t mean I won’t answer if someone pings me— Likewise, as I do have a horrible habit of pushing things off, the occasional reminder that Tumblr exists is very much appreciated! <33

#about me #about the author #thanks to everyone #thanks for coming to my ted talk #haha #please send me asks #they are always welcome !

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capricorn-0mnikorn · 2 years

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📖Persuasion📖 Listen- and Read-Along, Chapters Sixteen and Seventeen

Discussion of Chapters Thirteen, Fourteen, and Fifteen starts here.

Audio of Karen Savage’s LibriVox Reading on YouTube, starting at Chapter 16, Part One (Chapters 16 and 17 together ~ 33 minutes at normal speed)

Moira Fogarty’s reading at LibriVox (Chapters 16 and 17 together ~ 34 minutes)

Text of Chapters Sixteen and Seventeen at Project Gutenberg.

Synopses:

Chapter 16:

On arrival at Bath, and settling in, Anne dismayed to realize her fears that her father is falling for Mrs. Clay, that she had back in August, were justified. Because even though the original plan was for Mrs. Clay to only stay until Anne got there, both Elizabeth and Sir Walter ask her to stay as their guest, and enjoy the pleasures of Bath. Sir Walter even insists that Mrs. Clay’s freckles are disappearing (!).

Mr. Elliot continues to be a frequent guest, and is charming to everyone. Even Lady Russell thinks he’s now a different man than he used to be, and is hinting that if he should propose, Anne should accept. But there is something about him that Anne just doesn’t trust.

Then the Elliots’ Cousins, the Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple [Viscount is an actual rank of nobility] and her daughter, Miss Carteret, come to Bath, and much to her embarrassment, Anne’s family are falling over themselves to try and establish a friendly connection. Mr. Elliot tries to convince her that a connection to nobility is always a good thing, and could serve her well (and in any case, the more time and attention Sir Walter pays to the Viscountess, the less time he’ll have for Mrs. Clay). Anne has to admit that Mr. Elliot’s dislike of Mrs. Clay is a point in his favor.

Chapter 17:

While the rest of her family are trying to connect with the Dalrymples, Anne is reconnecting with an old friend from her boarding school, who’s now living in Bath: Mrs. Smith (nee Hamilton). When they were at school together, Miss Hamilton (3 years Anne’s senior) was the only friend who could help her through her homesickness and the grief over the death of her mother. So Anne is eager to rekindle their friendship.

Mrs. Smith is now a widow. Her husband, once wealthy, left her with a pile of debt, and she contracted Rheumatic fever which settled in her legs (Disability Representation tally: Seven). But Mrs. Smith is as cheerful as she ever was, and far from pitiable. Thanks to her home health carer, Nurse Rooke, she knows everything that goes on in Bath, and she also keeps busy and supplements her income by knitting trinkets and selling them to tourists.

This renewal of friendship disgusts her father, but Mr. Elliot expresses that he thinks it’s admirable. And Lady Russell is even more determined to have Anne and Mr. Elliot marry in Kellynch Church by next autumn.

Bits that stood out:

Chapter 16

If Elizabeth could but have heard this! Such personal praise might have struck her, especially as it did not appear to Anne that the freckles were at all lessened. But everything must take its chance. The evil of a marriage would be much diminished, if Elizabeth were also to marry. As for herself, she might always command a home with Lady Russell.

I somehow missed this detail the first two times I’ve read this story: that if their father remarries, his daughters will have to move out. That’s another reason why Anne wants Mr. Elliot to marry Elizabeth, instead of herself -- not only is that what Elizabeth and her father always wanted, but also Anne has another home where she’s known and welcomed. Elizabeth does not.

As much as Anne is disappointed and embarrassed by her family, she still loves them, and doesn’t really want them to suffer, she just wishes they could learn to be better people.

Mr Elliot, too, it must be remembered, had not been a widower seven months. A little delay on his side might be very excusable. In fact, Anne could never see the crape round his hat, without fearing that she was the inexcusable one, in attributing to him such imaginations; for though his marriage had not been very happy, still it had existed so many years that she could not comprehend a very rapid recovery from the awful impression of its being dissolved.

This is the same amount of time that Captain Benwick has been mourning the death of his fiancee, remember. And simply the thought that he might be interested in Anne so soon after Fanny’s death is enough for Charles, Mary, and Lady Russell to look down on him. But Lady Russell is more than happy to promote a marriage between Mr. Elliot and Anne -- Because Mr. Elliot is a gentleman, and heir to a title, and Captain Benwick is a mere sailor.

This is why I say Persuasion is less a “Romance” (even though it is romantic) and more of a social satire, because Austen is using the story beats of the Marriage Plot as a means to highlight the hypocrisy of the aristocratic social order.

"[...] My cousin Anne shakes her head. She is not satisfied. She is fastidious. My dear cousin” (sitting down by her), “you have a better right to be fastidious than almost any other woman I know; but will it answer? Will it make you happy? Will it not be wiser to accept the society of those good ladies in Laura Place, and enjoy all the advantages of the connexion as far as possible? You may depend upon it, that they will move in the first set in Bath this winter, and as rank is rank, your being known to be related to them will have its use in fixing your family (our family let me say) in that degree of consideration which we must all wish for.”

And here, the temptations of the aristocratic class to which Anne was born are laid out. I am not Christian in my thinking. But Jane Austen was. And here, I just get a vibe of “Serpent in the Garden of Eden.” You know?

Chapter 17

The visit was paid, their acquaintance re-established, their interest in each other more than re-kindled. The first ten minutes had its awkwardness and its emotion.

Okay. Raise your hand if you, as a disabled person, have been on the receiving end of this situation, meeting up with an old friend after your health condition has changed. 🙋🏻‍♀️ (Also note that Jane Austen’s own health was failing at this point, and she was becoming mobility impaired. I can’t help but think her scenes with Mrs. Smith were based on her own experiences).

[Mrs. Smith discussing her relationship with Nurse Rooke] “She had a large acquaintance, of course professionally, among those who can afford to buy, and she disposes of my merchandise. She always takes the right time for applying. Everybody’s heart is open, you know, when they have recently escaped from severe pain, or are recovering the blessing of health, and Nurse Rooke thoroughly understands when to speak. She is a shrewd, intelligent, sensible woman. Hers is a line for seeing human nature; and she has a fund of good sense and observation, which, as a companion, make her infinitely superior to thousands of those who having only received ‘the best education in the world,’ know nothing worth attending to.”

I want a spin-off novel with Nurse Rooke and Mrs. Smith as protagonists.

And I will never deign to watch the Netflix adaptation, because they removed Mrs. Smith and Nurse Rooke from the story altogether. (!!!) Talk about not understanding your source material!

“I do not suppose the situation my friend Mrs Rooke is in at present, will furnish much either to interest or edify me. She is only nursing Mrs Wallis of Marlborough Buildings; a mere pretty, silly, expensive, fashionable woman, I believe; and of course will have nothing to report but of lace and finery. I mean to make my profit of Mrs Wallis, however. She has plenty of money, and I intend she shall buy all the high-priced things I have in hand now.”

Note the difference between how Mrs. Smith views Mrs. Wallis, and how Sir Walter views her. since: “You haven’t even met the beautiful Mrs. Wallis, yet!” is the argument that Sir Walter uses to convince Mrs. Clay to stay with them in Bath. (Also remember that Mrs. Wallis is the wife of Colonel Wallis, who is the friend of Mr. Elliot, and who has been going around persuading everyone that Mr. Elliot is now a reformed and better man).

#📖Persuasion📖 Read-Along #Chapter Sixteen #Chapter Seventeen #Mrs. Smith and Nurse Rooke #Disability Representation

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projecthipster · 7 months

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Radiohead - OK Computer

Transport, motorways and tramlines / Starting and then stopping / Taking off and landing / The emptiest of feelings / Disappointed people / Clinging on to bottles

This is a big day for the blog! Working through the lists, I’ve been excited to get to the albums. Music is such a major part of Hipsterdom, it almost felt wrong to not yet have any album review here.

So I’m going to start out by committing full on Music Internet suicide. This is the first on the list, so it’s the one I’m doing, and I have to be honest with myself and the 0 people reading this:

I don’t really get what the big deal is with Ok Computer.

Before you get the pitchforks– well, no, carry on, but before you set them on fire– I do think it’s a good album. It has its strengths, which I want to focus in on. But first or second of all time for decades running according to Rate Your Music? You’re telling me this droning is better than Abbey Road or Kind of Blue or Dark Side of the Moon or In the Aeroplane Over the Sea or Funeral or Illinois or Helplessness Blues or…? Am I being gaslit by a quarter-century of Music Internet? I get the feeling that I’d like Ok Computer and the entire Radiohead discography more if everyone else liked it less (how's that for hipster.) If this was just known as a Good Album, which it is, I wouldn’t feel this pressure to understand why Radiohead fans in general think that Thom Yorke’s mumbling makes for The Greatest Band Ever.

So, let’s just try to unplug and listen.

This is 90s Gen X disillusionment not-quite-grunge type of media, which always feels a little poorly aged, though at its best you get stuff like Fight Club, Alex Garland’s The Beach, Nirvana, and David Foster Wallace. I think what keeps Radiohead from reaching those heights is its unwillingness most of the time to have any fun with the sanding belts of corporate life. Ok Computer’s best moments come from breaking out of the drone and playing a bit with its form and melody, allowing for moments that can actually be remembered. Those moments also define the theme or concept inasmuch as there’s any commitment to one, evoking digital isolation and control. I know this has been pointed at as prophetic, and, yeah, I can see that, though of course more contemporary art actually made in our Age of Tech-Corporate Dopamine does it in a more relevant way. There’s the early experimenting with vocaloids in “Paranoid Android.” There's the jazzy influence and alien abduction plot of “Subterranean Homesick Alien,” even if it’s a bit of an unwarranted dig at Bob Dylan to have that allusory title on a song that has nothing to do with his masterpiece.

As I listen to the album for the second or third time, I’ll admit that the melodies stand out better after a few listens. “Exit Music For a Film” is the grandest composition, building from the acoustic intro to a crescendo that the rest of the album could learn something from, appropriate given it was originally written for a Shakespeare adaptation. “Let Down” almost has, perish the thought, a hook with a tune, and thanks to those opening lines quoted at the top of the post, is one of the best melancholy train songs (a crucial mood to have in your library– note one of the best, it's nothing on Vashti Bunyan's "Train Song.") Then there's the very symbolic duel between acoustic guitar and synthesizer at the end. “Karma Police” has its entrancing piano runs, which lead into the best moment of the album, “Fitter Happier.” The synthesizer absolutely victorious, sounding like a breaking-down sci-fpropagandic indoctrination reel into suburban mundanity, hinting hauntingly at a receiver of the message who plucks wings off of moths in apathetic sociopathy, this is a genuinely haunting and memorable piece of art, and I do think it’s one of the best “songs” of the ‘90s, precisely because it stretches that definition a little.

Pragmatism not idealism

saith the robot masters. If that isn't the antithesis to all hipster ideology!

"Fitter Happier" is such a climax that it’s a bit disappointing to return to Thom Yorke’s nasal whine. I recognize what that whine adds to the songs, but for some reason it just doesn’t work for me as well as his contemporary Mangums and Meloys. Maybe it’s because I can’t actually hear most of the lyrics? Speak up, sir.

Anyway, we return from the fascinating netherworld of “Fitter Happier” into the regular Radiohead world with “Electioneering,” a pretty bombastic song that starts with a cantering Beatlesy guitar riff and builds quickly into big-sounding rock. The only other remotely memorable moment on the back half is the pleasantly pretty, lyrically ironic “No Surprises,” a song good enough to almost make me like Yorke’s vocals. Sadly “Climbing Up the Walls” has nothing to do with top-roping. "The Tourist" is a satisfactory closer, with its buildup and thesis refrain of "hey, man, slow down," delivered better than it sounds here.

I think I need to listen to Ok Computer on a train through the city at night. This is definitely night train music, and sitting at home in the incessant prairie sunlight, this doesn’t feel like the right way to appreciate it.

Finally, apparently this album was recorded in a haunted mansion in the English countryside, which I love. That's worth some credit in itself.

I give this hipster album four pigs in cages on antibiotics out of five.

Because even though it's growing on me, Neon Bible is still better.

Project Hipster is a futile and disorganized attempt to dive into the world of things that the internet has at some point claimed "are hipster," mostly through ListChallenges search results.

This review comes from the fifth list, The Hipster's Guide to Music.

Stay deck.

#radiohead #music #hipster #indie rock #indie #indie music #alternative music #alternative rock

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artcallednaturalviews · 1 year

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Hidden Hidden in black Blue signs prevailing a protest And a dot of pink Hidden Wanting an education Should already in black be educated? Hidden Grown women With blue held up by pole Hidden Unveiled female child Needing an education Wanting ready intellectually capable She just like he Human All humans should be free to learn Be educated Sound sand sad Nothing better since beginnings It’s 2023 according to educated humans That’s the problem Men have ran things, even in us uterus They demolish by military command ships Don’t create The purpose perhaps like that in centered pink a background for an artist background, reading you clearly, I won’t name any names! You may not want females educated. Period ...... periods, you know that female problem it’s seems to be for all men, and man continues to control You don’t get to work through cramps, stings, pains for creating, your not even a male seahorse but hay hey hi deny keep that girl, young lady, lady perhaps grown to womanwoman but can’t uneducated When educated they can point out mistakes, I’ve listened I play in sound sand sad say, it’s why I know of crimping devices and damages they do the over red heating for straightening or curling burn the skin or the ends Frayed Dead Can you get it in your head Your play was in my child hood days You never saw a girl as equal It’s in an Always vid now being known of educational powers Girl run just the same as Boy Twenty something lady is just the same as twenty something gentleman But the Gent thinks less of them Same over through a glass play through sands She is smarter than you The problem, and a whole World knows, don’t educate Where’s Geneva? Not for Ukraine Let alone the uneducated woman and girls Leadership? Let’s not include them they are just spokesman, speakers in videos Casting out in stereo If you know or have the means Education is the question? Perhaps my opinion should be kept to self! And not post this Prunts .|. No signature for keeping woman un educated ! Who signed up just now! Tied to column and trigger pulls for you! Just in now in my head But those are my thoughts last in keeping woman educated equal pay is something abused sometimes but new over there Over yonder, they don’t even get a man’s job over there You here paid for woman Not in same boat But like in society ignoring she may be smarter than you so keep that woman over there down to just like in school American women haven’t risen for the World Uneducated Woman WUW American’s gonna rise Probably a some years later But did they help do in American Society Duct of sociology A vent Escape from Sociology Hidden in parts around in folds and it’s 2023 Men & Women higher educated No numbers or abc’s at least to write down by yourself not even a way to express outside confines of brain invaded in skull or even allowed to talk for any such ideas or wants or needs, when we hear interview it’s ba bel Unless provided captions We don’t even know Its an excuse Hidden The keep to keep uneducated females Known and Worldly Allowed Leaders only work at most how many days a year? It keeps them country/conglomerate occupied Blame a President? Not 50 kings concerned with selves Us we do Us we do In the World of thing and thangs Educated and Not It’s all hidden

After my few last nights at work, its open to you, like my last since 2017, a new game in play

I need to see you see me

I’ll speak up first

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steveskafte · 2 years

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MAN OF THIN FAITH I've been thinking a lot of faith lately, and how I feel about things unseen. I decided about a decade ago to focus my life on sensory perception, rather than hanging on hopes out of reach. The main catalyst for this was falling in love. You see, love did a lot for me when it came to daydreaming. The intensely real experiences of passion and friendship – two overwhelming feelings I'd never shared before – made me realize what I wanted was actually in reach. I grew up with a tendency toward looking ahead. I don't mean planning ahead, that'd be something else entirely. I was caught up instead in the mindset of: "It'll someday get better." When? Well, if nothing seemed immediately likely, the afterlife was a likely culprit. But I was always so certain that there must be something more meaningful in the moment, and my hints were holed up in the work of artists. It's easy for folks to see a movie, read a book, or listen to a song, and think: "I wish I lived in that world." But if they immerse themselves in the artist's world for too long, they'll run the risk of thinking their own is somehow secondary. I've had the same experience with my audience. So many messages from people who put down their homeland, and hold mine up as some sort of ideal. Every corner of the globe I've seen, across Canada and the States, or off in Greece and Portugal – there's always a little wonder and adventure hiding. So why should someone see me, kicking around dereliction or hiking up a stream, and think that only I hold the luck of discovery? It isn't true. Everywhere I've found is just a version of what you would find in your own woods, if only you'd make the same effort as me. So now I look back on my younger self and see what he had to learn. If expected as a replacement for happiness, faith is a killer of ambition, and eventually hope. I've known a lot of folks with big beliefs, a vast array of unshakable ideas that I'm sure are honestly held. But I no longer envy them as I once did. They come with a philosophical weight I'm not equipped for, a deep distrust of human nature, and pessimism for a corporeal future. So many spiritual people try to tell me things are bad, but I can't contain how good they are! Can't quell my nervous joy for long enough, to wade through depths of should and shouldn't, or wonder if I'm wrong for feeling right. I am a man of thin faith; a narrow notion of what's next or greater than myself. But I can see, hear, taste, smell, and feel that worldwide wonder. As for what my senses can't sense, I haven't felt that yet, and perhaps I never will. No worries still. Hold fast. October 13, 2022 Port Lorne, Nova Scotia Year 15, Day 5450 of my daily journal.

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empoweredwivesco · 2 years

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My Inner Thoughts

Friday, June 25, 2021

1:44 PM

Who was I before Marriage?

I decided to clear my mind of the thoughts of me totally losing myself; A lot has gotten me to this point over the years. I always knew I would have this an amazing marriage and family. Boy, was I open to a rude awaking but that is for another day.

Getting straight to the point I had marriage and family life totally screwed in my head I basically was living in a fantasy world. That included insane love, wild sex, and understanding like a deeper level of connection.

Ha-ha that really was not the case even the sex has changed. That was the bonus and now (shaking my head) I feel like it’s all obligation now not free will.

I am realizing I need God more now than I ever did. My prayer life is having to change because I am in constant spiritual warfare.

I read a passage in the bible where it said: that it is good for a man to remain as he is.

Now this blew my mind because I was taught that marriage is God’s gift. But now I am understanding that God was saying stay pure and follow him and it’s easier to follow him when you’re single. When you bound yourself to another you might not see it, but your focus is to please that person. And you can lose yourself in that aspect.

God wants your full commitment he wants you to please him first so I can see why he would say that.

Marriage is for people who cannot fight the temptation to have sex; so to do that without sin is to be married in the spirit. We were born into sin so with that being said my journey has been a struggle.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING CHANGE SO QUICKLY?

Now I just knew my husband was going to be my husband even when he did not know it. He was my drug after my first hit I was hooked planning our life together right at that moment, but I never imagined going through half of the things we went through. I should have known better, but I could not stop (soul tie created).

Now I feel like the sex is not enough I no longer get that high and I am still chasing it.

When things are good, they are amazing everything I dreamed of but when things are bad, they are bad.

The friendship, you would think after 4 years we would have that. I just want to enjoy the life god blessed us with; But life has taken a toll on us already and adding a new addition to our family unexpectedly isn’t helping us get back on track.

Do you ever just distance yourself from your entire body?

That where I am at right now; Lately I just distance myself mentally and emotionally. Everyone says stop romanticizing everything and live in the moment that’s how they make it to the glory days well……….

I am just trying to survive; Praying things change before I crash and burn.

So, I’ve come up with the blueprint that I’m still perfecting, every woman I talk to says the same thing about her relationship, married are unmarried and I’ve finally realized why there’s so many failed marriages and relationships.

Ladies we must do better seriously we are all focused on the wrong things!!! We're more worried about the relationship than Gods purpose; Things aren’t going to stay the same and it takes a strong woman to realize this and maintain a healthy relationship.

We are going to have to build an army against the enemy that came to divide us from God’s will. And I think I’ve found the way, listen to me for a second and think.. What I’m about to say makes complete sense.

First, we must control our thoughts ladies it’s like building for the future. If u plant an apple tree are u expecting it to produce apples soon as you put it in the ground? That’s impossible right?! So we are setup wrong we base marriage and relationship based off the movies we watch and our childhood environment and what we didn’t see is what It took to get to there. I feel like all I do is give advice to my single friends now (side note I should be taking my own advice).

And what they don’t realize is I’m learning as I go, I came up with this plan not only to get me through marriage but now as a 30 yr. old woman get me through life.

Adulting is so ghetto ha-ha but the key to adulting is a change mind like the bible says when I was a child I functioned as a child but when I became (wo)man I put away childish things. And my prospective on that is when things aren’t going in the way you think it should regroup and focus on the life picture. And currently I'm in the regrouping stage bc honestly, I didn’t know this journey was going to be this hard when I started and I’m a spoiled brat, so I had to completely change my prospective on this thing called life, marriage, & family.

So, this is how I started my journey to change and becoming woman.

I realized I needed a plan to focus on me as a woman not a wife not a mom but as a woman. We often make the mistake by being consumed by these titles’ society has given us and that produces failure and confusion and its just overwhelming bc we often feel we lose ourselves to become the world’s view of what a wife and mother should look like.

Ladies it’s time we take our power back and the only way to succeed in love and happiness is to first find it in self and it will manifest in the rest of your life and relationship and in three ways I’ve started my journey to overcoming statistics.

3 steps to my journey SOUL Care, MIND care, FLESH care

#life coaching #hopeful #mind #peace #married couple #marriage #divorce #sex and relationships #relationship #loving #dating

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