#i would give anything to be back getting my shit rocked in the pit and melting in the sun rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghostlykeyes · 7 months

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Hooray! Requests are open! And I rush like the wind into your abode with my idea! How about this idea? Heartsteel!Kayn x Gothic singer!Reader? Reader is the leader of the Gothic rock band the band. In their video, as well as in the songs themselves, there is a lot of gloom, mystery, and also a lot of creepy themes. There are a lot of cemeteries, abandoned buildings, etc. And in the main life Reader likes to visit cemeteries and abandoned buildings (just like me. Because there you can relax from the hustle and bustle of the city. Peace and quiet). In the clips, Reader often acts as a vampire. I would like to know the dynamics in their relationship) Thank you very much!)

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GIF by thedemonlady

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HEARTSTEEL KAYN: GOTHIC/SINGER PARTNER HEADCANONS ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ Light to mid-NSFW sprinkled throughout... couldn't help myself (but I KNOW none of you bonk-deserving DEGENERATES mind much 0-0 ) ♡ TW: Slight Sexual Content ♡Keyes write less than one thousand words about Kayn challenge (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) (TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE)

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KAYN

Yone's the one who "introduced" you to Kayn, in a way. After seeing one of your music videos, Yone had a feeling Kayn might like your style and sent him a link. What Yone didn't foresee was Kayn becoming instantly fucking obsessed with you. But how was he supposed to resist? You, with your blood red lips and your black lace everything and your haunting, creepy voice...how could Kayn be anything but instantly, painfully in love?

Since your group was much smaller than Heartsteel, it wasn't hard for Kayn to get you to notice him. Sure, maybe the guys teased him for DM'ing you around the clock and turning up at all your shows like a damn groupie until you told him he could take you out sometime...but he's the one who bagged the goth hottie in the end, so who's the real winner?

Kayn keeps a mini silver bat keychain clipped to his bag, a constant reminder of you. Even though your aesthetic is gloomy and, frankly, a little ominous, he still says that your little bat is his good luck charm.

Of course Kayn knows that you scream in your songs—he listens to them religiously, after all—but the first time he heard it in person? Holy shit, he got chills. He knows he shouldn't interrupt your band practice. It was already nice enough of you to let him sit in and listen. But he can't. fucking. help it. "That was the hottest shit I've heard in my life," he tells you after you finish the song. "You're so fucking cool." When the band takes a five-minute break halfway through rehearsal, Kayn tugs you into the nearest bathroom and shows you just how sexy he finds you. Needless to say, you get a bit more screaming practice than you bargained for...

Typically, Kayn prefers the stage to the crowd, but even he can admit that being in the audience at your shows is a really fucking good time. The low, moody lighting, the smoke machines belting fog across the stage, groups of your fans proudly sporting plastic fans and screaming the haunting lyrics to your songs? The atmosphere is fucking impeccable. Plus, in a crowd like this, he can easily get away with going full Rhaast. (He's even started a mosh pit or two...or more. Probably best not to keep track.)

Kayn's favorite part of your vampire-ensemble? A pair of silver tooth caps, shaped like fangs (naturally). When he steals you away from rehearsals or pulls you into a dark backstage corner after a show, Kayn's quickly licking his way into your mouth, tongue dancing along the edge of the metal. "Bite me," he often growls into the edge of your ear as you're kissing down his neck. At first you thought he was kidding, so you'd always give him a light nip and then find your way back to his hungry mouth. But, one time, he smacked your ass as you were working the soft flesh of his neck and you, surprised, really bit down—hard. The way Kayn squirmed into you, panting and whining as a dark bruise started blossoming to the surface of his neck, told you that's definitely what he'd been wanting all along.

Since Kayn's been in the industry for a long time, he's a lot more used to dealing with paparazzi than you are. Whenever you come to him for advice on dealing with the cameras and harassment, he scoffs, instantly annoyed. "Oh, those fucking assholes? If you get in their faces enough, they'll back off." Don't worry, though, he'll do the 'getting in their faces' part for you. If you're out with Kayn and the two of you start getting mobbed, he's not afraid to elbow a reporter or two, or break a few camera lenses. Your management is pissed by the bad press, of course, but it's done wonders for your privacy.

Kayn's favorite pet-name for you is his 'baby bat'. He often calls you that after you do something cute. "Ugh, my baby bat," he says, squishing your cheeks with his hand and planting a kiss on your puckered, smushed-together lips. "So fucking adorable."

Your music taste has earned you the great honor of sharing a Spotify account with Kayn. You're the only person he'd ever even consider allowing to add songs to his playlists, or influence what music the algorithm spits through the radio while he's driving. Just don't steal the account while he's listening (he gets pouty).

Whenever the two of you are hanging out Kayn tries to snag your notebook, flipping through for a glimpse at your newest song concepts or music video ideas. He can't help being curious! You're one of his favorite artists (the fact that you kiss him a lot helps with that), so he's always eager for a sneak peek at your next creative endeavor. Your brain fascinates him, and he can't wait to see what ominous project you put out next.

Anytime you've got a photoshoot, count on Kayn to show up. He loves to see you in full vampire-mode, looking flawless in you Tim-Burton-esque makeup and your platform boots. He's got an eye for edgy photography and iconography, too, so he's a great person to draw inspiration from (even if he tends to annoy the photographers—he's not afraid to tell them if their photos are shitty). Some of his best photo ideas? A boudoir-esque shoot centered around a velvet-lined coffin, a Halloween photo-set with charmingly-poorly-carved jack o' lanterns (carving credits to Heartsteel), a birthday party in a graveyard. Not all of his ideas are so extravagant, of course, and some of his best are the most simple. He's taken a simple shot of his neon eye that you loved so much, you made it the cover art for one of your singles.

Kayn has you saved in his phone under a black heart and a bat emoji.

While the graveyard might be a little too quiet and still for his tastes, Kayn's glad to accompany you on trips to abandoned buildings. He's committed arson in explored his fair share of old warehouses and factories, so he knows what to expect when the two of you break into an abandoned building on a date. He's got a full toolkit—flashlights, a crowbar, lockpicks. Whenever you've got to smash a window or crack a lock to move forward, Kayn eagerly volunteers to clear the way. "You know, since I'm a gentleman," he smiles, sweeter than sugar as he kicks down a door. (You have to physically restrain yourself from rolling your eyes at that.) The two of you spend hours wandering through old buildings on your days off, brushing through years of old, quiet dust. When it's time to leave, Kayn breaks a bottle of spray paint out of his bag. He always tags the building before you clear out, one little symbol for each of you; his Rhaast-grinned Heartsteel icon, and a bat next to it.

#heartsteel #heartsteel headcanons #heartsteel kayn #kayn #heartsteel x reader #kayn x reader #kayn/reader #sheida kayn

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incorrect-riordanverse · 8 months

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finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

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weebsinstash · 11 months

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I keep thinking about Reader getting sick of YT's shit, physically fighting them (Totally, totally not projecting my own feelings at YT into that, whatcha talkin about? <<') and that being what leads to Miguel kicking them out of the Spider Society. Like, for the sake of this we'll say Reader made plans to meet up with the core group and properly set things straight- They've got a powerpoint ready, they've been running through a hypothetical dialogue tree all morning, they even got crayons too if someone's really not getting it. But most importantly, they've managed to scrape together proof of everything. So they rock up ready to plead their case, only to find YT already there doing the 'same'. YT somehow found out about this little meeting and decided to see if they could spin it in their' favour. At first Reader tries to explain what's really happening and that if they just look at the receipts they'd see that they're wrong, but the core group's just not having it. Peter's not having it, Gwen, Pav, fuck even Hobie, and Miguel's certainly not entertaining this anymore. They've had enough of 'their' lies and it's time they went home. At first Reader's devastated, weakly trying to tell them that they have no where to go back to, that they have no home that isn't here. But YT can't help but open their big fuckin mouth- low-key taunting them without giving anything away to the rest of the group- but YT and Reader know exactly what they're talking about. In that moment, something boils over in Reader. They can't stop themself from throwing the fattest punch at YT, and If this meeting started small it certainly won't be for long as Reader and YT's fight takes them all over. Hell, even spilling out into the rest of Nueva York. I'll spare you the rest of my ideas cause this is already getting long- But it certainly won't look good for Reader, now would it? :)c

That's the TRUE antagonist of the You vs YouTwo saga: making through this entire thing without absolutely beating the shit out of your doppelganger

It's all set up so perfectly. YT knows you're basically at your absolute breaking point and all but goads you into attacking them. YouTwo is standing there seeming like such the innocent little victim, having convinced all your closest friends that you're a fake, and you just absolutely explode

"I'll fucking kill you, you stupid fucking CUNT!!"

Punch them? They're lucky if that's all they get! The punch is essentially just to knock them down before you start trying to smack their head into the floor or straight up literally actually strangle them, and here come "your friends" to YouTwo's rescue. Pavitr's fighting style used to be a lot more cool to you before you got a solid gold bracelet cracking into the side of your head. You used to wish you could ask Gwen to teach you to be a little more graceful at gymnastics until she kicks right off of your face. You never realized how serious Hobie was when he told you he doesn't pull his punches until you're literally hitting a wall so hard it cracks underneath you because his guitar just slammed into your stomach. You never fully put two and two together on how Miguel's claws could CUT.

YouTwo may have gotten a little scuffed up but here you are, black eyes, busted lip, more than just a couple sprains and outright fractures as all of the people you considered your family, your FAMILY look at you with disgust. And suddenly you realize, with the biggest fucking pit in your stomach, that they just plan to open a portal to YouTwo's dimension and simply throw you through, completely unaware that you'll just slowly suffer and die after one of them swiped your watch during the scuffle. You'll have nothing to hold yourself together and tether you down, you'll just deteoriate and die and the thought fucking terrifies you. So you do the only thing you can think of, and you start absolutely running for your life for the Go Home Machine, because you either make it to that machine and prove you're the Real You, or you'll slowly suffer and die in another universe

The scene where Gwen gets sent home really does make the Go Home Machine look menacing. The way it can grab your arms and legs and drags you through the air kicking and screaming, holding you down at all costs, entrapping you in a bubble. You're just standing on the edge of the control deck with the gap and the machine behind you, still bleeding from wounds, and you're half wondering if Miguel is just going to kill you as he looks down at you with the coldest expression you've ever seen him make as he all but spits at you, "since you want to be the center of attention so bad, fine. Go home. Don't ever come back"

And you're being dragged back, left standing there on that platform feeling the most rage and sorrow and betrayal you've ever felt, you didn't even feel this fucking bad when your entire universe just suddenly poofed away, and all these people you thought of as your friends and family and coworkers are standing around, jeering at you, telling you you're not welcome there, some of them with your blood still on their hands.

The moment you're waiting for finally comes, the moment where the Go Home Machine finally goes to scan you, to throw you out like some anomaly, and it stops. It stops powering up as Spider Byte looks at the monitor in horror. Miguel is all but fuming as he storms over, "what are you doing?! Get them OUT OF HERE" and he freezes when he sees the same exact message Margo sees: 'NO DIMENSIONAL MATCH FOUND'.

Your vindication is finally here and you're so hurt by all of this that it honestly doesn't even matter. At this point you don't give a single fuck YouTwo stole your friends, because, they aren't your friends any more. You don't know any of these people like you thought you did, and apparently, they never really knew you either. They all get to stand there and feel bad for themselves as you stand there with your bruises and broken heart, starting to wonder where you're going to move now that you hate all of them and living in the Society is kind of traumatic now. They all try apologizing and talking to you, but you won't hear it. You're apathetic to it all, if not angered by it. NOW they want to be sorry?

They're trying to apologize, explain themselves, hug you, but you aren't having any of it. You've just got quiet tears streaming down your cheeks as you all but stumble your way back to your apartment, refusing medical treatment, refusing conversation, shutting the front door on all of them and finally crawling into your bed as a little voice inside of you says that you should hide yourself under the covers and never come back out

#yandere spiderverse #sinprompts #yandere stuff

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ourtearsofrain · 22 days

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Slow It Down (D.R.W/S.F.K)- Chapter 4

Pairings: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka

Genre: ANGST

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: ouid consumption, Sam and Danny fight again and Danny gives him a harsh reality check, Sammy boy’s going through it and his family is worried about him

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“Alright, I gotta take a leak.” Josh slaps his hands on his thighs, a classic midwestern habit he would never be able to get rid of no matter how long he lived in New York. As he stands, he sways slightly as the half of a joint he smoked catches up to him. He grabs Jake’s shoulder for support, trying to pass him but only succeeding in bumping into his camping chair and nearly toppling the pair over.

“I’m gonna go with him, make sure he doesn’t fall off a cliff or something.” Jake stands, offering his arm out to his brother for support as he takes cautious steps over the loose rocks below them.

Fuck. They’re seriously going to leave me alone with him? The pit in Danny’s stomach only grows as the twins disappear into the trees, the sounds of Jake trying to keep Josh on the path growing quieter and quieter by the moment. Just look anywhere but him. Anywhere but him, it’s that easy. He distracts himself by focusing on the rocks below him, beginning to balance them on top of each other. He can feel Sam staring at him out of the corner of his eye and after five minutes, it finally gets on his nerves.

“Do you have something to say?” Danny didn’t mean for his question to sound so harsh, but it comes off angry nonetheless.

“No.” Sam looks away quickly, down at his hands as he picks his cuticles in his lap.

“Then find something else to do than stare, please.” Sam says nothing more, not once glancing back at Danny as he continues stacking the river rocks, looking up at Sam every so often to make sure he wasn’t looking at him. Why the fuck do you care if he’s looking?

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Sam’s question comes out of nowhere, and for the first time in years, he makes direct eye contact with Danny, his expression serious and unfaltering.

“What?”

“Did you find whatever it was that you were looking for? In New York. Are you- are you happy?”

Danny can’t tell if the weed was impairing his thought process or if Sam truly was making no sense, taking longer than he should have to consider his words. “I don’t know, I don’t know what I’m looking for. I’m happy… I could be happier.” Jesus fuck, remind me never to smoke around Sam anymore. The man ignores me for years and then the second he starts asking questions I’m an open fucking book.

“What would make you happier?”

You. Danny catches himself before he says the word, shaking his head at Sam as he tries to come up with any other answer. “I don’t know, but I do know it’s better than staying here.” If he gets to say cryptic shit, then so do I. “Maybe I just moved to the city hoping the noise drowned out the regret.”

“What regret?”

Fuck. I wasn’t actually expecting him to ask. Danny fixes him with a blank expression, deep-rooted pain flashing behind his eyes. “I think you know. Why do you even care?”

Sam’s glad Danny isn’t close enough to see the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, and he hoped that when he found his words, they wouldn’t betray him. “So, you regret it?”

“Yes. I do.” Of course I fucking regret it. If I hadn’t kissed him, we would still be friends. I could still have him in my life, even if it wasn’t in the way that I wanted it to be.

“Good to know.” Sam picks his book up again, opening to a random page and hoping that Danny would drop the subject before it made him cry.

“Why the fuck do you keep bringing the kiss up, Sam?” Danny stares daggers at him, anger welling in his stomach as Sam shows so little emotion towards the event that ruined their friendship. “It’s in the past, move on.”

Sam looks up from his book, his eyes darting between Danny and anything else in the clearing he could distract himself with. “We just never talked about it.”

“And who’s fucking fault is that?” Danny saw that his comment hurt Sam, his features twisting slightly as if he were on the verge of tears, but it’s not enough. He continues, bringing every feeling he had to the surface as Sam blinks back tears. “You know what your problem is, Sam? You’re stuck in the past while everyone else around you moves forward. Leave the past where it belongs, or you’ll be left behind.”

He stands as if to leave, only turning and taking two steps before Sam’s voice stops him. “I’m not- I’m not stuck in the past.”

“Yes, you fucking are!” Danny rounds on him, his voice raised in his frustration. “You’re too focused on the past, on the kiss, on all of us leaving to actually live in the moment. We aren’t 18-year-old kids fresh out of high school anymore, we’re adults. You’re going to need to grow the fuck up at some point, and for your sake I hope that happens soon.”

“Fuck you.” His voice is quiet as a tear rolls down his cheek, not bothering to wipe it away as more come.

“NO, FUCK YOU SAM! You’re a fucking coward. Too scared to talk about the goddamn kiss so you ignored me, your closest friend, for three years. Too scared to move away from Frankenmuth so still living with your parents. Too scared to actually take control of your life so you study fucking business. What the fuck happened to astronomy, Sam? What happened to the boy I knew who was excited for his future after graduation, who was so passionate about following his dreams and getting out of Michigan?” Danny takes a deep breath, waiting to see if Sam had anything to fling back at him for his outburst. He thought seeing him cry at his truthful words would make him feel better. It didn’t. “If you find that boy again, tell him I fucking miss him. I want that Sam, my Sam, back.”

Danny turns before his tears escape his eyes, hastily making a grab for his shoes and shirt as he storms away from the clearing. He doesn’t even feel the sticks and stones stabbing the bottoms of his feet or the blistering asphalt until he’s safe in his old room, every ache riddling his body hitting him all at once as he sinks to the floor, holding his face in his hands until there are no more tears left in him to cry.

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June 30th, 2:42 PM

Danny had blocked that day from his memory, doing his best to enjoy his summer without focusing on every negative thing being back in Frankenmuth brought back. He hadn’t seen Sam since, but what did he care?

“Hey Danny?”

He cracks his eyes open, squinting at Josh as they lay on the beach of Saginaw Bay sunbathing after several hours in the water. “Hm?”

“Did you and Sam get into a fight after Jake and I left? When we went to the watering hole.”

“I don’t know if I would call it a fight.”

“Then what would you call it?” Jake’s head pops up on the other side of Josh as he sits up, his curiosity getting the best of him.

“I kind of… maybe yelled at him. A lot. He cried.” Danny keeps his response short, not wanting to get into the details of it. But the twins, being who they were, needed to know more.

“What did you say?” Josh’s voice is quiet, his mind racing between every possible thing Danny could have said to leave Sam the way they found him; alone, sitting on that same rock, sobbing.

“I called him a coward. Said he wasn’t the same boy I knew before I left.” His voice breaks as he remembers how angry he was, how disappointed at the man in front of him he had been. And worst of all, Sam’s expression. He knew he should have stopped himself; he shouldn’t have said such harsh things, even though they were the truth. He had watched Sam crumble away at each blow, but even that hadn’t stopped him. He had wanted Sam to hurt as much as he had. Just another thing to add to my list of regrets.

Jake and Josh exchange a look, seemingly telepathically communicating before Jake speaks for them. “You need to talk to him, Daniel.”

“No.” His response comes too quick, trying to backpedal as he stumbles over his thoughts. “I mean, he won’t talk to me. He didn’t want to talk to me before, so he definitely won’t talk to me now.”

“Please. Do it for us.” Jake’s statement makes almost no sense until his twin cuts in.

“We’re worried about him, mom and dad too. We don’t know what to do, Danny.”

Danny sits up, the broken tone of his statement sending his anxiety spiraling. “Why are you worried about him?”

“He’s moody, stays in his room all day. And yeah, he’s been like this since we all left but… but it’s worse now. He won’t talk to us, he barely comes down to eat. We invited him to join us today without telling him you’d be here, and he still refused. Any time any of us try to go talk to him about what’s going on, he gets angry, yells at us until we leave. We don’t know how to help him. We just- we just want our little brother back, Danny.” Danny’s regret only grows as tears glint in Josh’s eyes as he explains, feeling completely responsible for the state that Sam was in.

“If anyone can help him, it’s you. You might not be close anymore, but we know he would still hold your opinion and advice higher than ours.” Jake finishes, both men looking at him with pleading expressions.

They think I’m their last hope. “Fine.” The twins’ faces flicker with optimism at his agreement, causing Danny to continue. “But I can’t make any promises that he’ll even talk to me. He hates me and we’re strangers to each other at this point, I don’t know why you guys think it’ll work. But I’ll try.”

“Thank you, Daniel.”

“I knew we could count on you.” Josh moves to his knees in the sand, leaning forward to close the distance between them to hug Danny.

“I said I’ll try, not that it’ll work. The second he yells, I’m out.”

“Understandable. And that’s all we’re asking of you, Danny. To try. Know that it means the world to us.”

I just have to try to reason with a man that hates me after I berated him a week ago. How hard can it be? Where the fuck do I even start?

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taglist: @gretnavannfleet @aioba1503-sdm @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @milojames16 @sanguinebats @theres-a-tvjoe @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @currentlyfangirling10

#greta van fleet #greta van fleet fan fiction #gvf fic #daniel gvf #sam gvf #sanny gvf #greta van angst #greta van fluff #sam kiszka x danny wagner #sam kiszka #danny wagner

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vivaladicamillo · 10 months

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RYAN DUNN WITH A GOTH AND METALHEAD GN READER

heyy yalll im backkk, took a little break for a bit but IM BACK BABYYYY, ive been getting into goth culture a lot as of recent and have been changing my style to fit around it more so this is js a silly little thing to fuel my brain ☺️☺️ enjoyyy

WARNINGS: none

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GOTH

ok so really i think ryan would LOVEE a goth s/o

but it depends on the era of him

if we r talking BEGINNING of cky days i feel like he would be into it but NEVERRR let yk abt it

if we r taking 1999 ryan oh my god hed fall in love with u then and there

we all know back then he had a little thing for more hardcore women (COUGH COUGH YALL EVER SEEN GLOREN BRO, the leather jacket RYAN WE KNOW WHO U RR)

i feel like he would be curious about it

just with how intricate the style is

i feel like hed be into all the styles of goth ngl, hes js so curious on how it all works

the closet thing hes really seen of goth is bam fanboying over ville

soo not much to compare it too

i feel like he would ask so many questions

just like “where do u find clothes like that??” “how long does it take u to get ready?” js air headed questions

if u started dating him tho oh my god hes a sweetheart

anything halloween related that looks edgy in the slightest he will buy and say it reminded him of u

will help tie up corsets, clip on necklaces, and always have a spare pair of flat shoes on him just incase ur heels start to kill ur feet

obsessed with the make up, he thinks its so cool (and so hot)

oh bam is lowkey so jealous

especially if u are a fan of ville

ryan would try and color match his shirts to ur outfits

u wearing red? his shirt is gonna be red

purple? he has a purple button up somewhere

hes js so in love w u he doesnt care

will be the type of guy to run to the store last minute to get accessories for an outfit for u

also will buy u those overly expensive edgy ass heels from the store bc he know u will rock them

probably has tried on some of ur platformed shoes or heels and busted his ass

bam would probably be there dying laughing bc of it

or he would casually put on a hair piece or some necklaces and imitate you (he swears it out of love)

honestly would let u give him a gothic makeover, js dont show bam

he doesnt reallyy get whats going on but he loves it anyways bc he loves u

METALHEAD

oh he thinks ur so cool

depending on what metal genre u prefer he would listen to so many songs from it

i feel like he’d be a little intimidated at first bc mf thinks HIM and CKY is hardcore

he will buy patches for ur battle vest

love hearing u go on about the bands

WILL GO TO CONCERTS WITH U

warning tho hes gonna try and fucking stage dive into the mosh pit

hes gonna get his ass KICKED

loves ur accessories

the gauntlet cuffs, the bullet belts he thinks its so edgy and cool

hes a little scared of the corpse paint tho

hes seen bam do it but never fully going out with it

when he walks into the room and see u just with two massive black holes for eyes a white face and a frown drawn on it kinda scares him for a second

but he thinks its so cool after he realized

wants u to do it on him

literally if u do he will js be staring in the mirror of a good 20 lins is awe

will go to bar shows with u

cant fight for shit tho so if someone starts shit goodluck LMAOOO

lowkey would grow his hair out bc one of ur fav bands fav members has long hair

hes wayy more into this probably then the gothic vibe but tbh ryans such a sweetheart if he liked u, HE LOVEDDD u

—————————————-

hey yall so hope u enjoyed, ive been really into both these scenes recently and broo the goth metal style is my favvv, its hella cool. i need to start writing on here again lmk if i should do other cky/jackass members with different styles and genre loving readers!! byeeee :))

#jackass #cky crew #cky x reader #cky4 #cky2k #ryan dunn #ryan dunn fluff #ryan dunn x reader #rip ryan dunn we miss u !#Spotify

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bre3zycoins · 1 month

Text

"Next time they play, I wont be there. You have my spot from now on. C'ya Monday."

I Went To A Local Hardcore Show,

the first band was pure instrumentals, the kind of shit you thrash your head to though. the drummer was unlike anything ive ever seen, crazy talented. the free earplugs at the door were an absolute necessity; crammed into a small theatre room with no seats and the stage at ground level you could feel the bass reverberate through your chest and it put literal pressure on my ribs it was so intense. the next band was definitely my favorite, they were kinda like modern baseball with a paramore twist. i talked to the singer after the set, she was such a sweetheart with the voice of an angel of the choir of heaven. the final band though is where shit really rocked, the pit started up almost immediately and the house lights were turned on so people could move and still see where theyre moving (those lights didnt stay on for long). there were people half my size giving it their all against six foot behemoths of metalheads. i watched from the sidelines for about half the set before getting enough confidence (and slammed into enough to get fed up and just start welcoming it (also a push from my girlfriend and a tug from my guitar teacher)). i was thrown straight into the middle and somehow managed to hold my own for the entire song, leading with my shoulders and ending up right in front of the singer. the next song didnt go so smoothly, i got pushed straight into the middle of the mosh circle and pushed around until i fell over, having to kick and flail so no one would step on me. i reached an exhausted arm out to god, and my hand was grasped, another two pulling me up from my armpits as i was hugged into someone whos name ill never know. i got punched, i got elbowed, i got pushed, i got bested in two-stepping, but goddammit i had the time of my life. ive never felt more comfortable in my (sweaty and bruised) skin. fist bumps and high fives i had to jump to reach, fresh air and sketchy bathrooms, exploring hands and quick dial numbers; i was in the car on the way back home.

this is what it means to be alive.

#art #bre3zycoins art #this is a blog so goddamit im gonna treat it like one #i have a sore cheek and a busted jaw #but it doesnt even matter. this was the most important evening of my life.

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gabriel-xander · 2 months

Text

Don't Forget

Undertale Fanfiction

[Sans x Female!Reader]

2: Weed vs Vermin

♪───✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

After laying there for like ten minutes, you finally push your ass up to sit straight. Ugh, the lower right side of your dress and the side of your right leg are stained with green and dirt from being dragged into the cavern against your will. You lost your hold on your purse, so it’s not down here with you. You guess it’s not a big deal since you only had a few things in there that didn’t matter much.

You finally take a gander at the injury on your leg: small, shallow puncture wounds that circle your ankle and spiral upward to halfway up your calf. The blood is already drying against your skin and clotting up to stop the bleeding. Shit, you need to clean it as soon as possible if you don’t want it to get infected. However, looking around where you are, you don’t think you’ll get anything to clean it with any time soon.

The rocky walls travel high, high up, giving you absolutely no hope of climbing up to freedom. You don’t even know how to rock climb, but you would’ve liked the option to. The bed of golden flowers reminds you of something funny.

With a grunt, you stand up and hiss at the pain in your leg and lower back.

“Ah… Oh, this sucks…”

It’s barren in here, even the patch of grass is strictly beneath the flowers that are conveniently in the center of where you fell. To your right, you see a path leading down towards a dark grey… frame? The design of it feels familiar, yet also creates a pit in your stomach that you can’t describe.

You can walk just fine, and the pain isn’t that overbearing but you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from hissing. As you get closer to the frame, you recognize the symbol that is engraved in the stone.

‘Ain’t no fucking way…’

You speed up to walk through the frame and immediately see-

Flowey the mother-fucking Flower looks at you in surprise and confusion. He’s bigger than you thought he would be. Well, he’s about the size of the other flowers you landed on, but those were fucking huge too. His “face” and petals alone were about the size of your head.

You don’t know if you’re hallucinating this whole scenario or not, but you have a good feeling you know who to blame for your current predicament. Until you wake up from your coma (surely, this is just in your head because there’s no way this is actually happening), you are taking your frustrations out on this piss-tray-colored fuck.

“You little cuck!” You point accusingly at the flower while angrily marching up to him, “You dragged my ass down here!”

“You–Who are–”

“-And don’t even try to say: “Oh, no! It wasn’t me!” You mocked him with a deep, derpy voice before going back to normal, “I know it was totally you! Where am I??”

You know exactly where you are, but also you don’t know…? Because this can’t be the Underground. This can’t be the deep, dark cavern filled with scary monsters. You can’t… You just can’t be in Undertale?!?!

Flowey seems to get over his shock, smiling forcefully because he did not miss the fact that you called him a cuck.

You are… You are not who he was expecting.

Frisk… Frisk hasn’t been back in a long time. And while Flowey doesn’t have enough power to leave the Underground, if he expends enough energy and power, he can manipulate his vines to barely reach the surface. So when he managed to wrap his vines over someone’s leg, he thought it had to be Frisk since they are the only one who went to that spot.

Sure, the leg he grabbed seemed bigger than he remembered. But it’s been so long since Frisk had come back, that he just simply assumed Frisk had grown up some.

Clearly, he was mistaken.

From the clothes you’re wearing, you have to be some older kid, right? Maybe a teenager based on how you look more mature than the other children that’s fallen down here.

“Well, Howdy!” Flowey greets cheerfully, “I’m Flowey. Flowey the Flower! And welcome to the Underground.”

“…???” You squint at the flower in confusion, “Don’t–Wha-Y—Do-Don’t act like you didn’t drag my ass down here by force, like, ten minutes ago! Look what you did to my leg!”

You put your right leg forward, dramatically presenting it with your hands.

“Golly! That looks like it hurts,” Flowey starts to drop the act, grinning mischievously while leaning forward a little, “Such a shame that I don’t have anything to heal that up for you. Wait, I have an idea!”

You don’t trust him for a second.

“If you let me, I can show you how things work around here. It’ll let me help you out with that leg of yours, too.”

You give him the bombastic side-eye. You have a feeling this is Flowey’s way of trying to segue into pulling you to battle so he can see your soul. You don’t want to be emo and think you don’t have a soul, but you’re not from this place and you don’t think you’ll have one that is remarkable.

And there’s this… foreboding feeling that luck won’t be on your side. Frisk survived in the game because Toriel came to save them. Who’s to say Toriel will be here for you, too?

This is a bad idea, but you don’t want to risk your life in your dreams, too.

“Uhm… Okay,” You nod hesitantly, “But I gotta be honest, if you try pulling anything, I might be a little pissed.”

The flower monster beams, and your vision flickers for a moment. The next thing you know, there are white lines on the floor that box you in and give you a decent-sized area to move around and dodge if needing it. Flowey is also in the box with you, though he was at the far end. You expected it as much, but there is NO FIGHT, ACT, ITEM, OR MERCY button in front of you. You guess that makes sense? However, a heart-shaped soul was floating in front of your chest a few inches away.

You can’t help but be entranced by its beautiful golden glow.

You are simultaneously terrified.

You don’t have a red soul.

You don’t have Determination.

If you are killed, that’s it.

You are not Determined enough to be brought back to life.

Flowey seems to think exactly this, too.

“Wow, you sure were busy up there, huh?” Flowey grins, “Souls’ gained a lot of LV. What’s LV stand for? Why, LOVE, of course.”

You can’t see your stats, but you suppose Flowey can if he’s telling you something about it.

“What… What’s my LV?” You ask him, curious.

“Hmm, it’s not a whole lot. But… Huh,” Flowey frowns, squinting, “Your LV is at 10, but your ExP is at 0… And your HP…”

Ah, that’s good, then. It actually makes you feel a bit better, too. You think you understand why, too. You’ve never killed anyone, so of course you don’t have any Execution Points. You’re not weak either, and it probably helps that you’re older so of course your HP might be higher. Still, your LV? Doesn’t that stand for Level of Violence?

It can’t be because you’ve killed people, but rather… maybe it’s your capacity to hurt others if you so dared?

“Is that bad, or…?” You ask anyway because Flowey would know more than you, right?

The monster tilts his little head, giving you a bad feeling, “Ha-ha! It’s certainly something! But you know… Your soul is one of a kind. Lotta LV but not ExP. Why don’t you let me take a closer look?”

“Absolutely fucking not.” You back up immediately, gaining a scowl on your features. “I only let you look at my soul because I was curious, too. You try any shit on me, I swear to-”

“-Golly, you should really watch your language. You’re much too young to use foul words so casually.”

…YOU’RE 23 YEARS OLD?? YOU’RE A 23-YEAR-OLD UNIVERSITY STUDENT; YOU KNOW YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE A TEENAGER OR A CHILD!!!

“I’m not-”

Little, white… “friendliness pellets” are summoned in an arc in front of the monster flower. His smile morphs into something sadistic, and his eyes turn more round, and white pins of light stare you down.

“But I get it,” Flowey’s voice is like nails on chalk, “You know what’s going on here, don’t you?”

You narrow your eyes, unsure what you want to say or can say. It doesn’t seem to matter though. The white box lines that surround you close in and bump you harshly on the back when it gets too close.

Your blood turns cold.

Are the lines on the ground… are actually keeping you confined?! You don’t–You’re not a fighter, and Flowey is a dick-bag but you don’t want to kill him! You can see the area right ahead of you leading into the rest of the catacombs. You don’t see any sign of Toriel–You’re all alone-

“DIE.”

The bullets fire at you and you barely have time to dive into the left. Your shoulder bumps harshly into the invisible wall, and it… gives under that pressure.

Wait–You can flee!! You ram your shoulder into the wall again and feel it crack from the force. Flowey widens his eyes, summoning more bullets and encircles your body with them. He isn’t slow with it either. The walls shatter after one last, violent push causing your body to fall out of the box and to the floor, and your Soul retreats back into your body. You inadvertently dodged the bullets, but there’s no time to relish in that victory.

“YOU CAN’T RUN FROM ME!”

“FUCK YOU! JUST WATCH ME, YOU CUCK!!”

With a grunt, you scramble up to your feet and run around Flowey. His vines shoot from the ground to snatch you, but when you run through the purple frames leading to the next area, you slide right behind the wall beside the entrance. You hear and feel the impact of the vines against the walls, shivering slightly from the implication that if it had hit you, it would’ve been fatal.

You inspect the room, seeing how the staircase leading into the next room is higher than you expected.

Just like you thought as well, there is no golden star in the pile of leaves.

You don’t know why you have a yellow(?) soul of all colors, but it’s certainly not strong enough to Save and Reset. You run towards the stairs, but Flowey appears from up the ground from the top of the staircase.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me!” You grit your teeth, “What do you even want from me?!”

You can’t help but take a moment to ponder. Surely, it would be easier if Flowey just Reset so you could appear back in the room, no? If he’s not bothering to do that, then that must mean Frisk has been here already, and overridden Flowey’s ability with their own Determination. But he also looked confused as to why you showed up suddenly, too. Does that mean Frisk isn’t here yet?

“Knowing your name would be a good start,” The piss-drawer-colored flower summons more bullets, “And taking your soul would be a great second.”

“You beta cuck! This is why your–erm, this is why your petals are fucking ugly!!”

Woah, that was close. You almost went too far and told him that’s why his adopted sibling died, but that might’ve been crossing a line even if you’re in a coma.

He snickers at you, “Is that really the best you could do?”

You wince, “That was pretty weak wasn’t it–WOAH!!”

Not waiting for you to finish talking, the flower fires the bullets one by one. You’re running to the left to escape each one, though Flowey catches on rather quickly and fires the last one ahead of you so you run right into it.

You fall with a shout of pain, your hand immediately clutching your right thigh where the bullet lodged itself. Shit, it wasn’t through and through!

“YOU COCK-BITING FUCKTARD!!” Tears swell up in your eyes from the pain, subtly moving your hand to your boot, “YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE MY TRAUMA-INDUCED COMA A LIVING HELL, HUH?!”

“I–” Flowey falters, “You’re what?”

NOW’S YOUR CHANCE!

You easily pull off your right shoe and chuck it at the monster with all your strength. Flowey widens his eyes and quickly disappears underground. You grit your teeth and push your hands against the ground.

“Ah…! Ahhh!”

You can’t help but cry as you force yourself to stand up. Blood is quickly trickling down your thigh, catching against your light blue socks and staining them dark. A small, wounded noise escapes you as you reach the stairs on the left step by step. Flowey hasn’t come back yet, and you have the feeling he’s going to try to surprise attack you if you’re not careful.

You get halfway up the stairs when you collapse, nearly slipping on the steps from how suddenly you drop. The adrenaline is wearing off now, and your blood has started to leave a little trail. Crap, you didn’t want to do this, but you might not have a choice. Flowey might take your action to conduct his own to silence you, but you can’t take it anymore.

“H… HELP ME…!” You shout as loudly as you could, “HELP!! ANYONE!!”

…

But nobody came.

Wonderful.

“Hee hee hee…” A sinister presence presents itself right ahead of you. “How pathetic you look. “Help me, help!” Is that all you can do for yourself?”

“Fuck… Fuck off…” You glare at Flowey, your vision blurry from tears, “Even if you take m-my soul, you aren’t getting shit from it. I don’t–I don’t have any ExP, remem-remember?”

“Ohh-ho-ho! But you’re forgetting one, important, thing.” Flowey’s smile becomes empty, his face getting uncomfortably close to yours, “You are still human. That alone is powerful enough.”

“Hey, buddy.” You force a grin, hissing through your teeth, “Don’t you know–how to greet a new pal?”

At your words, the monster jerks back with surprise and confusion. You don’t let him relish in the fact that you know a lot more than he originally thought. You reach up and grab Flowey’s face in a harsh grip with your bloody right hand. His words are muffled (you know your appearance can be deceiving to your actual physical strength) but you don’t give a shit. You push his head down and practically slam his head down onto the edge of the step.

“AGH!!”

Yeah, you bet that fucking hurt.

“Stay down, and shake.”

Your grip tightens.

“My.”

And tightens.

“HAND.”

And tightens.

You don’t consider yourself evil: you don’t relish seeing people hurt, and you don’t like hurting others, either.

BUT LIKE HELL YOU’RE GONNA TAKE ANY SHIT FROM THIS DAMN FLOWER!!!

Thorny vines wrap around your waist, they tighten uncomfortably and yank you up in the air. Flowey holds you high, his scowl deep and anger clear as day. Your blood is staining his face and honestly, it makes him look a little creepier.

“Who are you?” Flowey demands.

You give him a bloody, forbidden finger. “Fuck you, you cuck! That’s all I got to say to you! That’s all you get!”

“You should consider being more cooperative. I have you where I want you, and… Well…” A circle of friendliness pellets appears around your neck, “I guess it doesn’t matter if you’re dead.”

Your heart is beating rapidly as you struggle against the vines, not liking that he’s back in control of the situation. You suppose you were asking for this outcome when you slammed his head onto the staircase.

“Yeah, well,” You shakily breathe out, “Just uh…”

You could… use confusion again? What’s the most annoying thing you can say right now?

“Kyaa! Just be gentle!” You say with an obnoxious, high-pitched voice, sarcastically batting your eyelashes, “It’s my first time!”

“…….What?”

“You-You know like… It’s my first time being killed. ‘Cause… You can only be killed and die once…” You furrow your brows, “Well, for most people, that is. Me personally, I can only-”

“-JUST SHUT UP!!” Flowey, seemingly, has had enough of you, the bullets get closer to your neck, still spinning in place fast enough that you can feel them lightly graze your skin. “All you do is just talk-talk-talk! Do you ever stop yapping?!”

“OOOOH! YOU WANT ME SOOO BAAAD! IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID!!”

“YOU ANNOYING PIECE OF–AHH!!”

A red ball of fire fires from the entryway at the top of the stairs (in case you have forgotten, the whole altercation took place halfway up the left staircase), knocking Flowey down to the bottom. The vines quickly retract from your body as Flowey makes his escape, causing you to land harshly on the steps.

You cry a bit pathetically from all your wounds (Also, have you fallen on stairs before? That fucking hurts!) and pain, curling up on yourself.

“Oh…! Oh, dear!”

A sweet, feminine voice gasps at the sight of you, her voice filled with disturbance and shock. You only hear her rushing towards you, you wish you had the strength and energy to look up, but the adrenaline is completely worn out, and it leaves you exhausted.

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth…” A soft, furry touch brushes against your cheek, “Please, do not fret. I will heal you quickly now.”

It has to be Toriel, there’s no way there isn’t. You think you’re starting to lose consciousness, how embarrassing. You want to thank her, but the last thing you can register is a warm feeling over your wounds.

#fanfiction #reader insert #female reader #undertale #sans x reader #sans undertale #sans #don't forget fanfiction

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antivanruffles · 10 months

Note

❤️ or 💛 for Cassaric?

❤️ first kiss / realization 💛 reunion kiss / relief

.... Why not both?

______________________

It is going to be all right. Everything is going to be all right.

Cassandra repeated it like a mantra.

They had been well prepared for the fight. The Inquisitor's trainer, Kihm, had given them what they needed to complete the task.

So they had been prepared. In theory.

The Pride Demon was expected, as were the wraiths that flanked.

The bear had been a surprise though.

As they stumbled up the path to where the Demon was located, all had been chaos as a bear had managed to get itself involved as well. Cassandra barely remembered much of the fight, everything seemed to have happened so fast.

She did remember being close to the edge of the bluff, the sheer cliff side at her back, and the damned bear charging her instead of the wraith had been attacking it. She also remembered something heavy hitting her side and knocking her off her feet.

Cassandra was dazed as she sprawled on the ground, trying to discern what had happened. She glanced over her shoulder just in time to see the bear careening off the edge of the cliff, unable to stop itself in time, and a flash of red that she belated realized was Varric.

There had been no time to reach out to try to grab him, only the split second where realization hit and then worry settled like a rock in the pit of her stomach.

She was thankful that the fight was over as the Inquisitor had managed to dispatch the final wraith causing problems. That let her leave and try to and her pick way down the cliff side; the Inquisitor and Dorian not far behind.

It is going to be all right. He is going to be all right.

Cassandra stumbled and slipped her way down, having found a gently worn path several yards back from the point of the bluff and the steepest part of the incline. She circled back around, uncertain and worried for what she would find.

Varric was a heap at the base of the incline. Although he was swearing up a storm so she figured that was a good sign.

"Varric!" she called once she grew close enough.

"I'm here! Oh shit," he swore as he tried to sit up, wincing.

"Is anything broken?" Cassandra sank down beside him, reaching out to check him over for wounds.

He had some superficial cuts and scraps, and probably more bruises than she could count, but over all he looked no worse for the wear.

"All in one piece. You haven't gotten rid of me yet, Seeker." He sat up slowly, favoring his side. He could have broken ribs. Or he could be bleeding internally.

"Seeker, I'm fine," Varric said, and she realized she had been speaking out loud.

"You may feel fine, Varric, but if you hit your head or lost consciousness for even a moment---"

"Cassandra," he said gently, but firm enough to gain her attention. "I'm fine."

She wasn't sure she had ever heard him say her name before. Or if he had, he certainly hadn't ever said it like that. So softly... so fondly. Cassandra looked up at his face then, met his gaze straight on.

He had been incredibly stupid, and beyond reckless... and for what? To save her? She could have easily been the one tumbling over the edge to break a limb or crack open her head.

Then again that could have easily happened to him as well.

"You stupid, dwarf!" She glared at him. "You could have died!"

Varric looked as if she had slapped him. "Well excuse me, next time I'll just let you die instead!"

"Good! I do not wish for you to die, least of all on my behalf!" She felt stricken at the idea of losing Varric; to death or even something less tragic and more mundane. She simply couldn't bear the idea of Varric not being there.

He opened his mouth to argue back or complain or something. Cassandra didn't give him the chance to speak, instead she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward in order to press her lips to his.

The kiss was impulsive and stupid, she knew, but she couldn't regret it. Not when Varric was alive and whole. She didn't intend for the kiss to be anything more than a press of lips, but the moment Varric started to return her kiss all other thoughts went out of her mind.

When they broke apart for air, Cassandra leaned back enough to look him in the eye.

"If you ever die, I will kill you."

"Uh, noted." He laughed and shook his head, incredulous.

Cassandra wasn't entirely sure what else she should say, or if she should apologize? She opened her mouth to say something, but Varric didn't give her the chance.

"Just remember, though, that goes both ways." Then he slipped his hand behind her neck and tugged her down for another kiss.

#rainbow kisses meme #prompt fills #cassarric fic #dai #cassarric #every time I write V/C nowadays I always think:#'have I written this scenario before?'#so sorry if I have LMAO

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kariachi · 3 months

Text

Sorry still a little bit on that idea of an alternative story to The Color Of Monkey-

Little kids in Undertown have been just vanishing and given he is setting himself up as The Person in Charge and is a local hero the parents and guardians turn to Argit about it

(Bonus points if we see this in the cold open and it leans heavy into The Godfather)

Should they be turning to the Plumbers instead? Maybe, but Argit's not about to argue because 1) more power and influence, and 2) this is a post-Rooters Argit and he's not trusting the Plumbers with a fucking pet rock nonetheless children, for all he knows they're the ones behind this

As a result, Argit calls up Ben and Rook to get them on the case, because at least them he can trust more that the rest of that lot

He would have called Kevin, has total faith between the two of them they could handle this matter, but given kids are involved figured it would be better to have fuckers he could trust to not lose their temper and straight-up dismantle a fucker in front of the kids

This is all well and good, all the norm, but Ben and Rook about do a double take when he joins them for the mission

Argit's excuses include 'has seen Rook in action and doesn't think Ben can carry his ass dealing in the criminal underworld' and 'have to keep up heroic appearances for political purposes', but over the course of the story it becomes clearer and clearer that his true motivations lean harder into 'Kevin and I have both been that kid snatched up for some jackass's own purposes and despite everything some part of me is still that kid that stayed near danger for his only friend and when he saw that friend go on a murderous rampage risked himself to try to help everybody'

Again, much better if he's going to have a good relationship with Ben's kids later to have an episode that goes 'whatever else he is and does, Argit isn't letting any kids go through anything like he did' rather than what we actually got

What exactly is the evil plot of the day? Is it another 'selling kids as food' thing? Easy slave labor? Throw them in a pit and watch them struggle? Not a clue but it gets dealt with and all the kids are rescued we are not having sad or bittersweet endings here

Argit needs to play a major role in handling shit, either he's helpful with the dealing with fuckers or he turns out to be damn good with little kids and gets them the fuck out of dodge while Ben and Rook handle the fighting- more likely the latter than the former, as much as The Color Of Monkey and some of the Rooters Arc shows there's a steel pipe to beat someone with at the core of the bastard he's not a fighter by preference, better to take advantage of his fucking off abilities to get the kids safe

Mind you I would not turn down a scene where they're trying to get information out of someone and Argit goes full 'my bestfriend isn't Kevin 11 for nothing' mode to the shock of Ben and Rook and the full intimidation of whatever bastard they're dealing with, but we can't have everything in this world

Needs to end with another 'Argit is a hero to a crowd' scene, he is returning the kids after all, but this one giving indication that he's not necessarily playing a part for his own benefit anymore as much as he is slipping into a role some part of him was made for, or at least heading in a direction where that's going to be true

Which itself would point back at the universe where Argit has the Omnitrix, and is at least good enough to be presented as an option for Team Good Bens, and to have seemingly not been looked at by Team Bad Bens when they even went after the firmly Team Good Bens 23

Final scene is Ben and Rook watching this and acknowledging that maybe they can start to see why Kevin's kept him as a friend so long and despite everything, end off with a joke about how they're still not voting for him though

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racoonkal · 2 years

Text

two cups – (h. sero x fem!reader w/ character flaws)

c: ANGST, so much. also this whole thing is the result of an ambiguous angsty scene that im too lazy to write, making this whole piece very ambiguous and slow paced imo. but as always, enjoy.

sfw // best friends with a slight hint of something more

it was a Saturday morning

and you felt like shit.

well physically you were fine, but your mind couldn’t stop replaying the events caused by your attitude yesterday.

“oh, piss off. it’s not like anyone pays attention to people like us anyways”

“can you stop being annoying for like—two fucking seconds?”

“i can’t wait to leave everyone in this goddam school.”

you had been a total bitch for reasons you couldn’t decipher. maybe it was your declining grades, or your dick of a teacher, or the fact that your friendships with everyone had been anything but steady these past few months, but regardless, you never intended to snap at Sero.

and now it was 7am on a saturday morning and you felt like you had just kicked an orphan in the nuts. (what a great analogy).

again, you felt bad.

so you tried to compensate. you went for a run during the ripe 6am sunrise.

it didn’t work.

you read a book for an hour while the 7am light shined through the large glass windows of the dorm.

still nothing.

then 8am—you made breakfast

and 9am—you took a shower.

and guess what? you were still a piece of shit.

but then 10am rolled around, and you felt your eyes and conscious start to drift away.

“you are…. unbelievable.”

“you sound just like everyone else, you do realize that, right?”

“this isn’t worth my fucking time. you’re not worth it.”

you strangely found that you couldn’t sleep. there was a monster at your feet, sliding it’s way into your stomach and up your throat. you were going to suffocate in the black pit of tar that was your guilt.

you pushed yourself off your bed (the cushions this particular morning felt like rocks) and dragged your feet out to the hallway. your groggy eyes looked up and focused on something that was outside of your control for the first time that morning. the epitome of your anxiety stared back and smiled. she waved her hand as a sign of “good morning” to you. your stomach was at your feet now, consumed by the monster.

you flashed a lopsided grin and waved back.

“she’s such a two faced bitch.”

“her boyfriend thinks i’m some maniacal, narcissistic, demon. and don’t even get me started on the rest of that friend group”

“i hate everyone at this fucking school. and i’m positive those feelings are mutual, so don’t even give me that ‘everyone loves you’ bullshit cause it a fat lie, Ha-”

correction: you hated almost everyone here.

you escaped the dangerous corridors with your sweatpants and large t-shirt still intact somehow. you stared at the empty kitchen and sighed.

you hated coffee, like absolutely despised it.

so you made coffee. you made more than you could ever drink, and poured the amount between two cups. not evenly, of course. one cup was practically milk and foam. the other maybe had a teaspoon of sugar. it made you want to vomit a little bit.

grabbing the wonky tourist mugs that held both cups of coffee, you walked out the kitchen and to the indoor lounge. you weren’t expecting to stay there very long, but your destination had brought himself to you. he was sitting there, and he—surprisingly—seemed very awake. and now the second cup seemed pointless.

he was never awake before 12am on a weekend.

and right now, he was studying. Hanta Sero, of all people, had an open textbook and papers full of notes littered on the table. and he was by himself.

you had really fucked up.

you sucked up your pride though, like you’d never done before, and started walking, hoping the monster would let you go somewhere along the way.

it didn’t.

you placed the mug on the empty space to his right, but didn’t take a seat. your presence had been replaced with his floppy back-pack in the chair. you couldn’t look at him.

“coffee.” that was painful. coffee was painful for you to say. you were absolutely pathetic. Hanta looked you up and down, subconsciously looking for your angle. he didn’t know what you were doing. that made two of you though. you cleared you throat and shifted to try and regain confidence, but your eyes were fixated on anything below his gaze. “i made extra, and remembered how you’re a freak and actually like the taste of coffee, so here: coffee.” you thought saying the word the second time around would be easier, but it still got caught in you esophagus and made your tongue burn. he looked at the warm cup and then at you.

“why where you…” he started and trailed off (but was most likely going to ask you why you were brewing coffee). an instinctive laugh left the back of his throat before he decided to let you into his thought process again. “you don’t like-” but you cut him off from his statement that would’ve most likely regarded your distaste for the drink.

“just take the the coffee, Hanta.” your eyes squeezed shut at the statement, like it was sour on your gums. “look, i’m a bitch–okay?–and the only way i can apologize is by giving you this shitty coffee i made while i was half-asleep. so just take the coffee.” you rushed your naked expressions out in one breath, hoping he would figure out how awkward this made you. and how terrible you were when it came to waving your white flag.

he tentatively brought the coffee closer to him. you’re not sure what you were expecting. silence, backlash, a rejection even, but not him smiling. it was very small, of course, and you knew it wasn’t meant for you, but it didn’t fail to make your shoulders drop and your breathing to soften.

“can you just... say that again?” he asked with almost defensive mannerisms. to most, this request would seem like Sero was trying to milk your faint-hearted apology, but it was more just from his inability to process your admittance to the fact that you were in the wrong.

“which part? the whole thing?” you asked, preparing to be annoyed if he responded with a yes.

“nah, just the part where you say you’re a bitch.” there he was. you were starting to wonder when Hanta Sero would make an appearance. you scoffed through your nose and a half-hearted smirk flashed over your face.

“i’m a bitch,” you repeated. “i’m the bitchiest bitch there is. and... i’m petty and narcissistic and have never been good at this part,” you motioned back and froth through the space that separated the both of you. whether your hand was referring to your apology to him or the strange and totally romantic tension you and Sero constantly choose to ignore was up for him to decide. “but i want to be. i want to be better,” you clarified. “i don’t know why i’ve been so snappy. it’s not a girl thing or whatever, i’ve just been….” your mind trailed off.

“if it’s so hard for you to be friends with the both of us just fucking leave already. just go! i don’t give a shit anymore.”

“....i don’t know.” there was no way to conclude or even put into words what you were thinking. but whatever you were expressing was how you truly felt, and it left you completely compromised.

it was Sero’s move now.

he sighed and pushed himself out of the chair. this monologue of an apology was a sight to behold, but he could tell you felt awful about everything that had happened. at least, that small part in him filled with nothing but the best of him had hoped you did.

you looked up at Sero and realized how you enjoyed talking to him more when you were the only one standing. maybe it was a power thing, or maybe you just enjoyed having his deep brown eyes staring up at you. now the roles were reversed, and you were starting to wonder if he had always towered over you like this.

your eyes darting around his features, you thought you knew him well, but this was disproven from the fact that you had no clue what he was thinking. was this it? would this be the end?

his arms wrapped under yours and his height was now pressed into you. you hadn’t even realized it yet but you were holding him too, your face in his shoulder and hands gripping to the back of his shirt.

this wasn’t real. he couldn’t be real right now.

“i don’t want to pretend like i understand you,” Sero mumbled into your neck. “but i do care, a lot more than i think you want me to.” he was bashful about that last part. and it was–by anyones standards–embarrassing to care this much for someone who tried to glue you back together with a cup of joe. but he didn’t care, or he didn’t want to care.

you pulled back from his embrace. it didn’t matter that he was the most important person in the world to you, your body still somehow made hugging him in public and awkward thought.

“you’re too good to me, Hanta,” you solemnly respond, your side profile facing him and arms crossed, rubbing your triceps. “i don’t deserve it,” you look at him and force a smile.

“you really don’t sometimes,” he shakes his head and tries to lighten the mood before sitting back down at the table. “you can earn it though by helping me study for this economics test.” he bit his pencil and narrowed in on the pages he desperately wanted to understand.

you leaned over his shoulder to see the material better and pointed at the areas he should focus on more. he asked questions and you explained, not afraid to correct him when he wasn’t on the right track to getting the answer. but you weren’t as ignorant to the vultures as he was. they would pass by and look at you like you were roadkill.

“i can’t fucking take it with them anymore! i just cant. they look at me like im a piece of meat–in more ways than one. it won’t be long before... before you start to look at me that way too.”

so you let things happen naturally. it’s crazy to think how the simmering water cooled down so quickly once you stopped texting him first. the day you didn’t walk to class with him like you normally do, the nasty glares ceased to exist. in fact, without Sero, you seemed to be invisible to almost everyone. at one point, even to yourself. of course he noticed your absence in his life and in his messages. but when he texted you it was complete radio silence. he tried to approach you but you’d cut the conversations short or had a some god-awful excuse to leave.

he confided in his winged, meat-eating friends and they told him what they knew. you were weird and unsocial and you were probably still mad at him for something. the details didn’t matter, really. but he started to understand. you didn’t care for him, not really at least. maybe you were just bored or were trying to get a little more than a hug from him. it hurt him to know that version of the truth.

the spacious days, turned into lonely weeks that turned into the rushing months before graduation.

you celebrated on your own, before moving far away to a city no one had ever heard of or had the effort to learn about. your social media died off and became ancient, and eventually, so did you.

and you never had to drink another cup of coffee again.

#guys... kal threw up again..#i really overused italicized words in this one #oh well #sero hanta #hanta sero #angst #bnha #mha #mha angst #sero angst #hanta angst #sero x reader #sero x y/n #reader #mha x reader #no happy ending #also ya seros my favorite

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evita-shelby · 1 year

Text

Incantatrice

Chapter 10

Taglist: @thegreatdragonfruta @babayaga67 @zablife @wandawiccan60

Cw: emotional turmoil, possibly symptoms of a panic attack, slight mention of sex

Gif by @richardgrimes

Despite the feeling warning her about the doom she feels, nothing can stop her from living in the moment.

If she tells herself that enough times it will make it true.

And if she must make sacrifices to make today perfect, then so be it.

Eva cries a little when Audrey tears a corner of her veil.

She doesn’t know why she agreed to it at the last minute.

“It will look as if it never happened, Eva. Our family has a skill with a needle that no one else can come close to.” Audrey says once it is done.

There was a pit in her stomach since that night with Luca. A chill in her bones that won’t leave.

The same chill she felt when Felicidad got married.

Death.

He will die, or she will, or the baby in her belly will.

There is no chance to prove it, but she knows she’s pregnant. She can feel it, she can see a perfect baby boy he holds in his arms in her dreams.

So she takes no chances and does everything right.

And yet it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

“Let’s elope, Evuccia, run away and go to Italy early.” He had said against her clavicle before nipping it and marking her as his.

“No, my family wants to look proper.” She had hissed and rocked against him in response.

Eva wished she could have taken up his offer. Have a hasty wedding with just Matteo and Izzy or whoever they could round up as witnesses.

“Your hands are shaking.” Her mother-in-law points out with concern.

“It happens, shell shock tends to have the worst timing.” Eva dismissed her concern but cannot stop herself from losing her cool.

The witch wants to vomit, she wants to scream, she just wants to release whatever is inside of her and breathe easier.

So she opens a window and thanks the spirits New York is blissfully cold. The metal of her Juliet balcony is nice, grounds her as she grips it for dear life as this darkness she feels brings her to her knees.

“Breathe, in, out.” Audrey is the last person she’d expect to comfort her, to help her regain control of her own body. And yet she is here holding her and reminding her how to breathe again.

“Someone will die, I know it. I feel it inside me.” She tells the Italian woman. “It happened when I was sixteen on my sister’s wedding day, then a year later it all came true.”

“It’s just the nerves, Eva. Just that. Breathe.” The older woman soothed her and brought her back inside.

“Drink this.” Audrey said and handed her a short round glass of some Sicilian liquor Luca is so fond of.

It’s not enough, Eva thinks, she needs the damn bottle to get her shit straight. But it does the trick and that’s all that matters.

She is all smiles when they get downstairs, and her aunts present her with a beautiful bridal bouquet.

----

If she can make it to the end of the ceremony everything will be fine.

“The flowers are lovely, thank you.” She whispers to Luca as the sermon begins.

It’s in Latin, as usual, and while she knows Latin, Eva cannot pay attention to the words said.

The faster this goes, the sooner she will be married to the amazing man beside her and perhaps she will survive today.

He holds her hand the entire time and the witch thinks it is the only thing anchoring her to the present.

God, she wished the ceremony wouldn’t be so painstakingly long.

“My wife deserves the best, would I give you anything that isn’t that?” he is so happy it breaks her heart.

“I love you.” She says, feeling as if she may never say it to him ever again.

They have never said it to each other, and part of her knows he won’t say it back, but the weight on her chest feels less oppressive once the words leave her mouth.

“I know.” he says and for a moment she feels a little crushed, sure it is very soon, but it hurts a little when he doesn’t say it back.

She should have known, it is too soon to know something like this, but it still hurts.

“When I say it back, you know I will mean it.” He whispered softly as the priest rolls around to the Sacrament of Marriage.

Thirty more minutes before the threads holding her together start to unravel.

Thirty more minutes.

#eva smith shelby #eva smith changretta #luca changretta x eva smith #luca changretta x oc

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westernbitch · 1 year

Text

chapter 5!!!

I put on a tight black dress and some turquoise boots. My hair was curled and pinned half up and half down. The turquoise and diamond necklace hangs between the v of my dress. Rip hooked my arm and led me and Beth to the head table. After greeting everyone, I finally made it to the table. Shane Smith and The Saints started playing in the background. I sat at the table with John on one's side and Beth on my other. Gator brought out food. Thank God. I started cutting into my steak and eating it. Before I could finish it, John reaches his hand out to shake a cowboys hand. Travis Sheridan and Tyler. They make small talk about work on the ranch and how Travis was going to be a big help while John was in office. I looked down at my new clothes. "Baby, you look like a thousand bucks. Give him a chance." I felt my body start to react to the thought of Tyler. "May I take Evelyn dancing Sir?" His deep smooth voice made me want to melt. "Son, you know my warning. Yes you can." I looked at John and then to Tyler. He shook John's hand and came around the table to pull my seat out for me. "Thank you."

We make it down to the pit where people are dancing. He grabs my hand and I feel a shiver run down my spine. "You look gorgeous." He said this before he waltzed me around the dance floor. He looks down at me with a shit grin. "Evy you're gonna be my girl." I laughed. This big ass cowboy just told me I'm going to be his girl. When the song was over, he led me to a table and we sat. "How is it going now you are here?" I hate small talk. "I mean it's good so far, besides from earlier, things are going smoothly." He started laughing when I told him I ran from them and ended up passing out somewhere on the ranch. He asked if I had a man, I said no. He seemed to like that answer. We talked for a while. Even though I hated small talk, I liked the small talk with him. "Do you work on the ranch?" Tyler explained how in the summers when he was in school he would come work for John. He just graduated with a degree in ranch management. Now that he was out, he would be taking over some stuff. He told me Rip was John's right hand man and he would be Rip's right hand man. He poured me another glass of wine. When I finally took my eyes off him and disconnected from the conversation, I realized we were the only ones still out here. everyone had gone home. "Can I walk you home?" His words felt sincere. I felt like I could start to like him.

I felt him looking at me. "Are you sure you're not too drunk Evy? You're walking a little funny" He laughed and continued to walk me home. "You would think this would have been an easy walk home. So many rocks. So many holes." As I say this, I trip. I tripped in ahole. "Evy! Hey are you okay?" His deep voice was filled with concern. He cupped my face in his hands. I looked up to meet his eyes. God they were stunning. I started to laugh. I laughed harder and harder. He stared at me, still cupping my face. Before I could say anything, he removed his hat and lowered his lips to mine. I felt a rush of energy shoot through me. His lips were exploring more than just my mouth. His lips traveled down to my neck. I let out a soft moan. I guess that turned him on. She lowered my back to the ground and started to kiss me. I felt my skin tingling. As he kissed me I felt his hand slide down and grip my ass. I moaned. Embarrassed, I stopped kissing him and started laughing again. "Come on, I need to get you home. You're drunk and I am not going to do anything until you're sober and positive." I make a pouty face as he picks me up and takes me to the front door. I found myself wanting to kiss him more. He knocks on the door. John answers the door. "Hi sir, I am bringing Evelyn home. We had some alcohol and she seems to be pretty tipsy." John guided Tyler in the house. "BETH!" I ran to hug her. She is sitting on the couch with her feet up on Rip. She pulls me on the couch. "Thank you Tyler. I will see you in the morning," Rip tipped his hat to him. "Goodnight Evy." His hat tipped to me and he had a massive grin on his face. As he opened the door, I felt sad. I wanted to see more of him. Carter walked in and kissed Beth goodnight. "Goodnight mom. Dad, i'll be up in the morning." I felt someone leaning me back. Beth held me. I started to cry. She's taken me in completely. She bought me clothes. "Baby, it is okay. We are here for you. Wipe them tears and tell me about the boy!" Rip grabbed my legs and started taking my boots off. "He said I was gonna be his girl." I started giggling and Beth did too. "He thinks he can call dibs on me. What a dumbass!" After a while of sitting, I started to drift off. "Evy, come up to your room. Beth wants to show you something." I stumbled behind Beth, Rip was guiding me by the shoulders. "Beth, are you sure she isn't yours," he was laughing more and more as I walked up the stairs. "This is your room. We are down stairs and so is your grandpa. You have a bathroom with a shower and a bath. I put all of your stuff in the closet. If you need anything, you come to me and Rip." I ran to the closet, it had all the clothes from today. I ran to the bathroom. Oh my God. The tub was the biggest bathtub I have ever seen. I got in the tub and stretched out. "No, come on. Let's get you in bed," Rip scooped me up and took me to the bed. I felt the sheets and sighed. "Goodnight baby," Rip leaned over and kissed my head. Beth did the same. I felt whole.

#angst #yellowstone #rip wheeler #beth dutton

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tokillamockingbird427 · 2 years

Note

In Split Ghosts au, how did Logan find out and react to Keegan being a famous actor? Was he watching a movie and happened to stumble across his sexy ex-boyfriend?

Bro, I am so sorry, the adhd is whooping my ass. I meant to answer this ages ago. (I have the object permanence of a cabbage.)

I haven't actually thought of that, but better now than later lol.

Okay, so like, after the pit he has to go through a bit of re-training and that junk. (Recovery/Rehabilitation too.) and he was pretty busy, but even he can't be given things to do 24/7.

Pre war-end, the Federation likely had incredibly strict rules about media from the US. So something like the calendar would be contraband back then, but since the wars over the rules have lifted a lot. Not entirely, given the Federation is likely to hold a grudge, but enough.

(Still working on the specifics of the world-state.)

I think the funniest possible scenario is he finds a "Hot Celebrity Calendar 20XX, mens addition." and Keegan's in there. Like Logan was just looking at it... for reasons... but he doesn't expect to see Keegan in there.

Homie can't even bring it up to his handlers lmao. I'd think they'd be kinda strict on him for what info he learns. (Likely found the calendar on an op and just... stole it.) so him even asking after Keegan is likely to raise red flags. And then they're gonna wanna know how he found out. And then Logan would have to tell them... his reasons... And then Logan will just have a stroke on the spot and die because that's fucking mortifying.

Like it's hard for him to have any shame given all the shit he's been through but my god, old Logan is still in there somewhere and the idea gives him enough fits to rock the rest of him around like an origami paper boat in a hurricane.

Logan rips the page out and hides it somewhere he can keep it... for reasons...

Soon as he gets the chance he's gonna try to watch a movie Keegan stars in. And he may sneer on the outside, but on the inside? My god. He's a Keegan fanboy.

His cover is that he definitely only learned about it when his handlers told him so he could hunt the Ghosts, but if Keegan gets the chance to ask Logan is likely to be brutally honest.

I can imagine him pausing for a second, quietly reaching inside his vest, and handing the calendar page over without saying anything.

Keegan's confused and it takes him a second to realize what it is, but then he does, and aside all the cringing he does (Bit of a publicity stunt on his part to do the calendar back then.), he's also flustered and pretty flattered.

Then comes the question: "Why do you just... have that on you?" "... Reasons..."

No further elaboration.

#call of duty #call of duty ghosts #logan walker #keegan p russ #walruss #technically

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stellacadente · 16 days

Text

oversharing time don't read this if self harm / suicide talk especially but also just mental illness stuff? triggers you ily <3

i haven't told that many people i think (but everything's a blur in general let alone lately with how much i'm struggling mentally so? who knows?) but i tried going to therapy again a few weeks back. maybe a month ago. and i so badly wish it worked out. it was all well perfect it was close by (no driving license, not enough will to live to take possibly several buses/metros + it's gonna be summer and i hate hate hate summer weather etc etc) she was a good listener i liked her way of approaching therapy she told me we'd make a kind of survival pact (if i was actively suicidal, i'd have to call her) i had good impressions at first. too bad there were giant red flags when it comes to her reaction to me being trans. don't wanna go into detail rn but while i don't think she was ill intentioned and i believe she'd be willing to listen i'm just not gonna go into therapy long term, expensive stuff at that, to teach my therapist how to treat trans people right. i was comfortable except whenever trans stuff came up and then i was severely uncomfortable and the more i thought about it afterwards the more i grew uncomfortable. i didn't even wanna talk about being trans, i had to mention it bc legal name and all but she insisted on the subject with invasive stuff when i didn't say anything beyond responding to her what are your pronouns question with "he, i'm trans, call me nico like i wrote on the appointment request".

but yeah i really wish it'd worked out bc i really need therapy. and it was fucking hard to try again after my last not great experience. i literally had to hit rock bottom and almost attempt to get the courage to give it another try. i was desperate. and i'd say i'm not desperate anymore even without therapy i'd say i don't feel completely hopeless 24/7 which is obviously good! but the thing is that it is all so incredibly hard still and i know it'll go back to being harder and harder to deal with and i'm just very scared. i don't know how to keep myself from slipping into the depth of the abyss again, how to keep myself as... healthy? i guess? as possible and keep it like that. i can't do another huge breakdown in 3 months or 2 or 1 or 2 weeks and then crawl out of pitch black darkness and build up my will to live again and repeat.

i'm not actively suicidal anymore. for now. like really, for now, but i don't feel like it's gonna last long. i feel myself looking down from the edge into a bottomless pit. and unfortunately i've started self harming more and more often again. too often. like obviously any often is not good but it's becoming a habit and that's fucking dangerous, so so dangerous. i don't wanna get stuck in that again. but i don't know how not to. i find comfort in it. i know rationally it's a lie my mind tells me, i know it's a short short relief that does not help in the long run. god i wish knowing all this shit rationally helped even a tiny bit to make things easier. it doesn't. i can't stop. it's great in the moment, by which i mean i do it, i feel less overwhelmed. but then starts the frustration. instead of anxiety and sadness i feel frustration and tiredness.

i just. i'm always so tired. i wish everything could stop for a while. i wish i could just... breathe. i feel like my entire body is always on alert. my anxiety fuels my back pain. my need to stop being so lonely makes me try desperately to cling to people and i can never be healthy in my attempts at social interactions and then i feel more frustrated and more anxious and more overwhelmed and i hurt myself and think awful things about myself and really, truly believe them. it's all. too much. i more than anything want a break from myself, my mind and body. i would give anything for it. i just can't give my life. that's the only way i know how to stop thinking for a while, to die or try to. but i must not. but god. tired and overwhelmed and need to shut my thoughts off.

i'm not sure what i'm saying anymore. my brain is so tired and done with today. sleeping now. i think i will start volunteering at a cat shelter and help out an association that helps various people and causes but the cat shelter thing might turn out to be the worst idea and i'm super stressed about it and i don't know what the fuck i'm doing or how to deal with my feelings and how to be a normal fucking person for once. idk. i'm fucking just trying to find ways to do things to go out to try and not get stuck again. i don't know anything anymore, just hope i survive. mostly

#read beginning for TWs thanks

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hours2hours · 3 months

Text

THE HAWKINS PARADOX: CHAPTER FOUR

The sheet draping Toby’s corpse is the only barrier preventing a total meltdown in front of my friends. Ever since I first saw him in that cardboard box I haven’t had it in me to look at him, despite how much I’d give to see his face one last time.

Playing on the floor when I was just eleven years old, running through the streets at night, play-fighting in the park, and the very first day we got him as just a puppy. Of all the half-forgotten memories from my youth, that one has always remained crystal clear. He was sitting in my lap sleeping on the drive home, and I thought that a more perfect creature couldn’t exist. He was so tiny but had all the fight in the world in him. He was my only friend and partner in crime for years, he brought me comfort every lonely day and night, and now he’s just a corpse in a hole. I placed him down gently after Annie was finished digging, and even now, putting the dirt on him doesn’t feel right. He’s gone, yet burying him feels like I’m hurting him, like he’s just going to wake up with a mouthful of earth and worms.

I pat the earth on his final resting place and Ruby puts an arm on my shoulder. Though she was never as close to our dog as I was, I can still feel the sadness in her touch. When I look back to see the friends who showed in my time of need, I’m reminded of the real issues here. Miles was supposed to be here, right now he’s off alone and we’re all here worrying about a dog. The thought of forgetting Toby hurts so bad, but he’s gone, and Miles needs me. What’s dead is dead and should stay that way, even when it hurts like hell.

I walk away from the grave and sit in the lawn chair next to my campfire.

“Are you positive a human did it? Animal attacks in this area have gone up significantly recently.” Otto calmly chimes in.

“Only if a coyote can wield a knife,” I respond. Ruby sits next to me as I poke the fire. Our yard is a wreck, littered with remnants of a forgotten past. The fire pit is a ring of rocks inside the sand pit Ruby and I played in as kids, while old toys lay wethered and grey by years of rain and snow.

“I still think you should call the police,” Ruby says.

Annie scoffs, “Yeah, like that’ll help.”

“I don’t need the police,” I reply. “I’m gonna take care of it.”

“But that’s so stupid,” Ruby responds.

“What good would they do me anyway? Smalltown cops aren’t goddamn detectives Rube. They’ve probably got their hands full shootin’ innocent people.”

Annie cackles and raises a beer.

Ruby continues, “I know you got a criminal record, but you still need help.”

“Aren’t you behind on a hundred commissions? Mind your business.”

Ruby stands, “You better not do anything stupid, I won’t be the only surviving twin.”

“You know me. Mentally sound decisions only.”

“Strict rules in the Hawkins household,” Annie adds. “See ya later Ruby! And don’t worry, I’ll babysit your brother.” Ruby stands to leave, while Annie waves goodbye until she’s out of sight. The door shuts, and Annie leans over in her lawn chair. “Okay, down to business. Did you come up with any other leads?”

“Only Wendy, she’s the one who’d want my head the most.”

Before Otto can question the topic at hand, Miles enters the yard with his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You weren’t interruptin’. Sit yourself down,” I reply.

“Sorry I’m late. Could barely convince Dad to let me leave.” Miles sits in the lawn chair next to my own. He moves close enough for our legs to touch slightly, sending a swarm of butterflies into my gut. “I thought he spent so long trying to get you out of the house,” I reply.

Annie lights a smoke and flicks one toward Miles. “You missed the depressing shit anyways.” Otto eyes the cigarette between Annie’s fingers, then Miles. “Are you doing okay?” Otto asks.

“Not really. I’d rather not talk about it, honestly. What were you saying about leads?”

“Right,” I eager to change the subject. “Wendy Anson. There’s a zealot or two in this town who’d wanna mess with me, but Wendy is the only one who’d go that far.

Miles shifts closer to me, and a smile tugs my lips. “You said you got her arrested, what happened?”

“Funny story actually,” I laugh nervously, patting the back of my head. “She used to sell me drugs, but I found out she was lacing her product for new customers.”

“Lacing?”

“Ya know, crack or whatever. It ain’t uncommon for dealers to try and get kids hooked on more expensive shit. She got a couple ninth graders hooked, one kid ODed an’ wound up in the hospital.”

“I remember that, the school held an assembly regarding drug use the next day,” Otto adds. Sometimes I forget just how little he really knows about his only two friends.

Pulling on the collar of my shirt I finish, “...so Annie an’ I busted into her house, stole her good supply, then ratted her out to the cops.”

Annie can barely contain the bellowing laughter. “Bitch got what was coming to her.” She crumples a can and cracks open another.

“Yeah, well, she got out of juvie a few months ago. If she figured out I was the one who snitched, I can see why she’d wanna fuck shit up for me. That’s not even mentioning that Aaron’s pickup spot was right next to the diner she works at.”

“Tha’s the only thing though. It seems like a really stupid obvious spot,” Annie says.

“What if she’s baiting you?” Miles adds.

“She could be, but the footage is our only lead, we need to go for it ASAP. If there’s even a chance I can find Toby’s killer I’m goin’ for it.”

“Footage?” Otto suddenly asks. Annie shoots me a wide eyed, ‘get me out of this’ look. But there’s no way I can explain last night without mentioning we kidnapped and tortured his brother.

“So uh, did you start studying for our history exam?” She laughs, switching the subject smooth as broken glass. Otto raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. “We’ll go over the flipbook tonight.”

“That’s why you’re the best,” Annie nudges him in the shoulder.

Miles stares into his phone, face scrunched into a frown. From the way he constantly wraps strands of grass through his fingers, to the melodic tap of his foot, Miles’s stress is worse than I’ve seen. I wish there was something I could do to help him, but now I feel so useless. “Looks like I should be going,” he mumbles.

“Already?” Annie asks.

“Dad says the police came back, they want to ask me more questions.”

As if things had to get worse. “Here, I’ll walk you home,” I stand.

“Dad’s already here. Guess I’ll see you later.” Miles slowly walks to the front of the house, lingering at the gate.

“I hope Miles is okay,” Otto states. A car door opens, then closes, and he’s gone.

Annie cracks open another drink, “Well if I were him I’d be freaking the hell out. Did you guys hear all that crap around school today? People think he killed his own brother.”

“There isn’t enough evidence to be certain one way or another,” Otto adds.

“It’s horseshit,” I burst. “Mobbing idiots. Acting like they know everything about someone they've never met.”

Annie and Otto look at me wide-eyed, Annie’s eyebrow more knowing than I like.

“Can I use your bathroom?” Otto asks suddenly.

“You’ve been coming here for two years now.”

Otto squeezes Annie’d hand before inside my house. I know my outbursts make him uncomfortable, but this time I don’t care. I can’t stand mob mentality, I can’t stand people hurting someone who’s world is crashing left and right as we speak. I’m loudly tapping my foot on the rocks while Annie lights another cigarette with a huge grin on her face.

“What?” I ask more defensively than I mean to.

“Nothing,” she smiles.

“I’m worried about Miles 'cause he’s my friend.”

“Right, and like a mentally sound person, you responded accordingly.”

“God, shut up. Stop assuming I want every guy I meet now.”

“I’m just saying. You’re pretty quick to jump to the defense of someone you’ve barely known a year. What if he did kill Mateo? What if Miles is torturing him in his basement as we speak?”

“Just stop, okay? He’s not even…” I stop myself, struggling to force the word out of my mouth.

“You can say the G word. I know a lot of people in this town will wanna crucify you for it but it’s just us.”

“I’m just worried.”

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