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anantaru · 4 months

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a/n. ✩ ˛˚ . i am currently sick and wanted to write something sweet, enjoy my loves while I'm drowning myself in hot lemon water, gn! reader

neuvillette likes to buy you flowers.

he doesn't necessarily have a favorite type of flower that he likes to purchase for you, because to him, it's the plant itself that reminded him of you.

for one, when he looks outside the window to catch the neat, sprouting garden outside your home, the sun rays shimmer gently along the various petals, rainbow roses stretching and slowly opening its eyes to the soft tickle of warmth.

to neuvillette, it felt the same as when he hears your voice whisper a honey-like "good morning" first thing during sunrise, and he wishes he could explain to you just how much the sound of your voice gave him butterflies and hope.

one part of him was on fire when you begin to smile as you realize he had bought you a bouquet full of blossoming lumidouce bells again.

to neuvillette, your grateful smile was resembling a warm gesture that was widely manifested in a garden scented with the fragrance of nectarous flowers, various plants going crazy when they receive the warm affection of the sun.

now, the man was calm and peaceful knowing that you liked them and that when he wasn't here with you, there was at least something that would always remind you of him.

you move towards him, slanting close, settling on his lap, and it makes his heart skip a beat when you leisurely wrap your arms around his neck to pull him into a quick kiss— because you see, every time he connects with you physically, neuvillette felt like you were a piece of him that had been missing perpetually.

neuvillette moves his tongue gently until you forget yourself into his trace, savoring the moment as he runs a finger along your thigh. you shift your hips a little to move closer, a wave of felicity shielding your bodies before the man decides to break the kiss as to catch his breath.

restraining his bliss for a moment, the iudex reminds himself that work had been awaiting him.

he takes your hand and squeezes it gently, "i assume you like the flowers?" as he questions lightly, even though he fully knew the answer to his own questioning— yet his mellow voice was so full of passion like it was attempting to burst his lungs, unable to exclaim the deep gratitude he felt.

you snicker back, quite absorbed in watching him blush vividly after one kiss, "you ask if i like them? i love each and every one of them," you continue, sounding sweet to his ears, "thank you, i will take care of them while you're gone,"

your gentle lips pass a smile, and you admire his eyes, see and notice how they had been cosseting your own.

this love, it wasn't like one you had encountered in the past— because the one you shared with neuvillette was an union of souls and hearts and minds, not something you could put under a microscope and understand immediately, because simply put, it was too complex for that, strong and unbreakable.

pure love, like a liquid which descends from the clouds in rain with your body feeling different— bouncier, more energetic.

feeling happy.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #neuvillette x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #neuvillette x you #genshin drabbles #genshin impact drabbles #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #neuvillette fluff

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thetarsier · 1 year

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Hiii I’ve been checking your blog and I love it, can I request secret relationship with Hotch? Like, Jack reveals your secret by accident by calling reader mom or smthn like that ❤️❤️❤️

a/n: I LOVE this.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings/notes: sickness (but like fever, not actually being sick), Derek Morgan being a little shit, not proofread

<3: aaron hotchner x reader

When you’d woken up that morning to Jack coughing and sneezing his little heart out, you’d known what kind of day it was going to be.

Seeing his condition, it was obvious that he shouldn’t be going to school, and once Aaron had woken up, too, he’d agreed. However, there was work to be done in the office for both of you, and you didn’t want to risk getting Jessica’s children sick, too. The only option was to bring Jack into the office. He could sleep on Aaron’s couch for the day, and then go home to bed straight after. It wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do.

As usual, you and Aaron took separate cars to work, you parked nowhere near each other, and Aaron always waited at least five minutes after you’d exited your car to leave his. All countermeasures to keep the keen eyes of your coworkers away from the two of you and your well-hidden relationship.

It hadn’t been going on for long - just under a year - but things had moved quickly, and you basically lived with Aaron and Jack, only going back to your apartment occasionally when you and Aaron decided it would be best for him and Jack to be alone. You loved the both of them from wherever you were, staying with them was just a way to love them a little bit closer.

And, boy, was there love. Much to your surprise, Jack had called you ‘mom’ the other day by accident, which led to you going back to your apartment while he and Aaron had a conversation about Haley. You felt flattered that he’d felt so safe and loved around you that the name had been given to you, and Aaron assured you that he wasn’t upset about it.

When you’d gotten back, Jack had hugged you tightly around your neck and whispered: “My mommy is watching over me, and you do that, too. So you’re also my mom. Dad said that I could call you that if I wanted to.”

“Yeah? You want to, buddy?” You’d asked, fighting back your tears.

“Yeah! D’you want to come play?” He brushed off the issue as if it were nothing, pulling away from you and grabbing your hand instead, leading you into the living room where his toys were.

That lively boy had been replaced now by a quiet, sick one, and you tried not to be distracted by the sounds of him coughing in Aaron’s office. You had paperwork to do. You were supposed to be working. Jack had his father, and Penelope, who seemed to be making more trips to the water cooler today than she ever had before.

“God, it’s awful, isn’t it?” JJ’s words made you turn your attention to her from where you’d been staring at the door of Aaron’s office.

“Sorry?”

“Hearing children in pain. It never gets better. It’s actually worse once you have a child,” She shook her head, “I wish there was something I could do.”

“Yeah,” You said on an exhale, shuffling some of your papers to give your hands a task, “I might go and see if they need anything, actually.”

“I doubt it. Hotch probably has everything Jack could need right in there,” JJ patted your shoulder as she continued her walk past your desk, “You don’t want to risk catching whatever he has.”

You nodded, swallowing as you looked down at your computer. You had to focus. If you went in there, all of the secrecy that you and Aaron had worked for would be put under a microscope. If Jack found comfort in you, like you knew he would, if Aaron let you stay with him in his office when he’d kicked everyone else out within a couple of minutes, every separate car journey to work would be rendered useless.

Profilers were a nuisance. They saw everything, every minute shift in behaviour. They would definitely notice the signs of a relationship between you and your boss.

“You okay, pretty girl?” Morgan asked as he came up behind you, placing his hands on your tense shoulders, “You’ve been staring at your computer screen for a while.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just distracted.”

He didn’t seem to buy it. Or, rather, he did, he just knew that there was a deeper reason as to why you were distracted that you weren’t mentioning. His fingers pushed into your shoulders as if he were trying to knead the secrets out of you.

“Oh, I get it,” He mumbled next to your ear and your heart rate began to pick up, “Someone’s got a new boyfriend.”

“What?” You squeaked, turning in your chair and forcing Morgan’s hands from you, “What are you talking about?”

“You’re checking your phone a lot, you’re distracted, you’re happier recently; all signs point to good sex.”

“Derek! This is a work environment.”

“You’re not denying it,” He grinned, leaning on his own desk that was right behind yours, “So you do have a guy.”

“No! No.” You squirmed under his knowing gaze, dropping your shoulders as you let out a sigh, “Okay, yes. Yes, I do. Now, will you leave me alone to do my work?”

He cheered loudly in success, but your worried glance around the space forced him to quieten down, and after he didn’t make any other noises for a few seconds, the eyes in the office that had been drawn to the two of you quickly left again.

“Just…” You turned back to your computer, “Don’t mention anything to anyone, okay?”

“Only if you answer one question: was I right? Is the sex good?”

You imagined what Derek’s reaction might be if he realised he was talking about his boss, the thought almost put a smile on your face. Instead, you glared at him over your shoulder, and he raised a challenging eyebrow at you.

“Hey, baby girl-” He shouted across the office while holding eye contact with you.

“No! Okay fine,” You leaned closer to him, speaking in a hushed whisper, “The answer to your question is yes.”

His shit-eating grin only grew wider at your answer, and when Penelope approached the two of you, Derek made an excuse of asking her out to lunch, and the two of them left the office together. You could finally relax.

Until the sound of Jack’s coughing punctured through the air again.

As much as Derek annoyed you (much like an older sibling), he was brilliant at distracting you from everything going on in your life. And even though you were sure that he was telling Penelope your secret at that very moment, you couldn’t help but be a little bit grateful that you’d managed to tear your mind away from the child in Aaron’s office.

It was scary to think about what could happen if the people in your office found out about you and Aaron. As a woman, it was undoubted that you would get at least one comment about sleeping your way to the top, and even though HR knew about your relationship in order to keep professionalism, you couldn’t imagine the kinds of issues that might arise with other agents if they all knew about your relationship. People could be made uncomfortable, or accuse Aaron of preferential treatment; your jobs could be on the line.

But, then again, it would relieve a huge weight off your shoulders. You wouldn’t have to worry about taking separate cars, waiting in the parking lot, or having to stay away from the person who brought you the most comfort when you were really in need of a hug.

No. No, you couldn’t be public about your relationship until either one of you didn’t work at the BAU anymore, which you were sure wouldn’t be happening any time soon.

The door to Aaron’s office opened, and Jack appeared, holding Aaron’s hand and a blanket that he hadn’t let go of since he’d left the house. You tried to seem unfazed, glueing your eyes to your paperwork, but your heart beamed out of your chest when Jack pulled Aaron to a stop right beside your desk.

“Hey, you feeling okay, buddy?” You asked, keeping your voice gentle. The burn of about a dozen pairs of eyes suddenly became apparent.

Which was why, when Jack held his arms up to be brought up into your lap, loudly exclaiming ‘Mommy!’ as you hesitantly pulled him up, you knew there was no way you could hide. Even if he hadn’t said anything, the way he melted into you, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your neck, was probably a dead giveaway.

“Oh, sweetheart,” You cooed as you rubbed his back, looking up at Aaron, who was shielding you somewhat with his body as he leaned against your desk, watching you with a hint of a smile, “It’s okay, baby. You’ll feel all better soon, I promise.”

“How soon is soon?” Jack groaned into your skin, and you kissed his hot cheek.

“Really, really soon, buddy, okay?”

You continued rubbing his back as the people around you pretended to continue on with their tasks. Aaron rolled Derek’s desk chair from behind his desk and pulled it up next to you and Jack, lips stretching into a thin line.

“He was upset, asking for you. I thought I’d rather he be happy than us protect ourselves,” He explained in a low voice, “I probably should have asked.”

“It’s alright,” You assured him, “I’m glad you brought him out, it’s been killing me all day. What are we going to tell everyone?”

“I’ll tell them to mind their own business,” He placed a hand on your knee, away from the view of everyone else, “We did everything right, telling HR but keeping it a secret from the team. It can be a sort of… relief that we don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We should get him back to your office,” Jack had fallen asleep against you, so you stood up carefully, keeping his head still with one hand cradling it, “Morgan will be back soon, and we should probably figure out a strategy to best tell him-”

“Oh!” Came a shout across the office as you and Aaron were halfway up the stairs. You squeezed your eyes shut, not believing in your bad luck, and Aaron turned around to look at Morgan, “Hotch is the secret boyfriend?”

“Watch your volume, Morgan,” Aaron warned, “As much as it may not seem like it, you’re still at work.” The ‘And don’t you dare wake up my son’ was implied, but Jack did nothing more than wiggle around in your arms at the loud noises.

“Oh, man,” Derek grinned as you and Aaron continued to walk up the stairs to his office, “I know something about you, Hotch.”

His taunts were blocked out by Aaron opening his office door for you and closing it behind himself, twisting the lock and pulling the blinds as you set Jack down on his sofa and tucked his blanket around him.

“What is he talking about?” Aaron asked once you’d stood up, hands coming to rest on your waist in a way they never had while you two were at work.

You relished in his touch, morphing it into a hug as you wound your arms over his shoulders. At home, he was always touching you, always somewhere close, but it was different - new - in his office, where the only things exchanged between the two of you were longing looks and papers.

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

#aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fic #criminal minds

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goteique · 7 days

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are we still friends? + (togame jo, sugista kyotaro,choji tomiyama,kota sako)

cws. | gn!reader, headcanon + scenarios format, sorta character study, fluff, angst, comfort. | redirect to blog navigation.

syn. | How do they react to confession when the feelings are mutual?

notes. | omg! here's part two. read part one here. enjoy <3

☆ Togame Jo : "Did Choji put you up for this?" Togame enquires with a sharp tone, eyebrows ever so slightly growing close to each other that it goes away when you blink. The question hits you like a stone on your head. Why would he do that? unless . . . he already did that what's it got anything to do with him? Did Choji pull a prank like this before? and he might have liked them. . . and might not have. . .pushing the thoughts aside you ask keeping your voice as even as possible,

"Would your answer be any different if that wasn't the case?" Of course, he has his wall high up. Not only that, the surface of the wall is full of sharp spikes so that no one can climb, not even you. It is no surprise that he would be so rude when a wave of affection washes over him. You force a smile upon your face and look down. The empty bottle of the cold drink containing a marble ball that was circling a while ago comes to a halt now. That's right. He should not have said that out loud. It is surprising in the first place when someone like you, so far away from his world is into him and it is even more surprising when you have the heart to confess. He did not mean to sound rude. . .It's just that . . .

"Sorry, I should not have asked that." He says trying his best he can to keep himself. He takes a quick glance at you through the corner of his eyes. Even for a split second, he saw your lips trembling. He curses himself keeping the bottle aside on the bench. "Well, no." His voice is so low, so meek that he has to clear his throat and straighten up before speaking. "No. Absolutely not. My answer would not change." was he scared? wait, he is . . . scared? He has never been the one to pray to God but now, at this moment with all his heart he asks the heavens not to let you cry. He does not wish to witness that since he does not know how to handle it. He has only been known to handle things with violence and dominance, not with talking and kindness. He takes off his glasses and stands up to face you who is still sitting on the bench head down as if gravity is growing stronger at each second. You feel a wind pass by before a cloth rests on your back, embracing your shoulders. You look up with eyes full of water up to the brim. "That's . . . that's my way of telling."

It takes a moment to sink into you what he actually meant and wear his jacket properly thinking how emotionally constipated he is. what is this? A competition? you let out a long hum.

"that's all you have to say?" Togame says impatiently. "I tell you that you like you and all you say is "hmm", huh? You grin from war to ear, and standing up you pinch his cheeks. He does not recoil like a spring-like you expected him to.

"Yeah. You said that now." Togame looks away unable to meet your water-full eyes anymore, warmth spreading over his cheeks, ears and even neck.

★ Sugishita Kyotaro

Sugishita's world is totally mapped out and it all revolves around Umemiya-san. But the moment you said you like him, his everlasting face of boredom did not do much except his eyebrows grew closer together. Is that the face of a surprised person? You ponder but it is meaningless because his eyes are onto you and all he is doing is to inspect you. If the wills and worlds had the potential he would put you under microscope. But even with so much effort all he does is to ask the most stupid question ever. “Do you? Do you really like me? You nod since your throat has become dry. He chins his face for a second and then turns towards you asking with a mellowed tone, “Is it the “i like you as a lover” or ...?” He does not get to finish his sentence while you cover your face and nod tremendously. almost five times in a row. His eyes spread wide. You are covering your face. You do not wish to see his reaction, nor prepared for the answer he is about to give. You feel a feather touch around your wrists as he whispers, “i do too. I like you too.” as he peels off your hand carefully. As someone who is known to be only talking with fists he certainly is not rigid and rough with you. He holds your hand as you look at him for a few seconds and then guides your palms over his cheeks. “y/n-san, Tell me again that you like me and I'll tell you again.” he says sinking in to your touch.

☆ Choji Tomiyama

"Huh?" It was all he could say when those magical words came out of your mouth. Within a blink of your eyes, he jumps so high that you feel if he really wanted, he could touch the sky. Then his cheeks puff a little before a devasted choice of words escapes his mouth,“It’s not fair. I wanted to say it at first,” When it registers in your head you think he might have misheard you so you try to say again but he quickly grabs your hand saying, “Why didn't you give me heads up? I wanted to tell you first that I like you. It's not fairrrreee.” if anything's is unfair is that how a leader seems to act in such a childlike manner but it's okay. This is why you fell for him. He stops whining and says in one breath, "So, then I'll be the one to take you on a date. " he is still holding your hand.

★ Kota Sako

For someone who's eyes are always glued on Hiragi, movements and talks trying to imitate Hiragi he certainly is more than aware of himself and his surroundings. You expect him to brush away your plea when you ask him to stay after the class or even just decline you by saying that he is busy or the worst: simply ignoring you even after hearing. But none of that happens. He waits for you after the class patiently, listens to all you have to say, and then says, "I'll think about it." while internally practically panicking so hard that his head starts to hurt by the time he reaches home. When you reach home, you get a text from an unknown number saying, "So, let's date then. -Sako."

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momentomori24 · 3 months

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I swear to God, Twitter being able to accumulate so many brain-dead, malicious, pseudo intellectual low lives all in one place at the same time is a phenomenon worthy of being studied under a microscope in a science lab. And no, that is not a compliment.

Thankfully people have already spoken out against this bullshit-- the fact that people needed to is already maddening to think about-- but as someone who got the basic gist of what happened literally yesterday I'll also put my voice out there: Don't you fucking dare try to paint Hbomb as a murderer over this situation.

Somerton may be a lying, misogynistic plagiarist and conman, but he obviously doesn't deserve to die and while I do make fun of the guy, I genuinely hope that he continues to have a life after the dust has settled on everything. Not on YouTube or any social media platform for a long time at least, but just a life nontheless. I don't wish what he's potentially going through on anyone, and I hope that he makes it through this. But regardless of if he does or doesn't-- and God forbid he doesn't-- none of this is Hbomb's fault. It's not his fault, or Kat's fault, or Jessie's fault (because apparently there's people blaming her too cuz WHY NOT), or anybody's fault. All they did was call out his actions, hold him accountable for the harm he's done. They have done nothing to deserve having to carry this on their shoulders should the worst happen. They did nothing wrong. They didn't kill James (he's not confirmed dead yet either btw). They are not murderers. And to the people saying they are: say those words out loud, listen how they sound like, and re-evaluate. Just cease.

And to people like this:

''Oh I'm not blaming him for anything I'm just blaming him for what his audience did because according to HIM you're responsible for your audience'' Yeah, you people can shut your mouths too. Of course you're responsible for your audience, and that includes Hbomb too. However, your tiny, godless little monkey brain can't see why your argument is still rubbish even with that in mind. The difference between James, Internet Historian and Hbomb is that Hbomb never promoted problematic behaviour to his audience. If you promote problematic shit like harassment or misogyny or racism, then yeah, you're absolutely responsible for how your behaviour influences your audience. But that's not what he did. He made it very clear where he stood on those things, literally stating that ''if anyone were to harass Somerton on his behalf they are worse than him and will not see the light of heaven''. He's done his part in making it clear that harassment is wrong, so if someone went out of their way to go against that and harass James anyway that doesn't reflecf on him at all. Also, what the hell do you mean ''hatemobbed'' to suicide? I don't doubt there are people who went to extremes because those bad apples always exist, but most of the things I've seen are valid critisisms, memes and call outs about that guy. If holding people accountable for their actions and poking fun at them a little counts as 'hatemobbing'' (which has Filip calling his critics a ''lynch mob'' energy tbh) what the hell do you call actual hatemobbing then? Do we just let people continue being shitty because calling them out ''damages their mental health'' or ''drives them to suicide'' then? Is that a world you want to live in?

Same thing goes for people like this:

Criticing someone for their objectively bullshit content and wanting them dead are two seperate things. What the actual hell is wrong with you. The plagiarist in question is a person. Those ''harshest critics'' are still people. And because we're people, we care. I'd rather James pump out more plagiarised slop than commit suicide. I'd still hate him for it, but I'd prefer him being alive over the alternative any day. We all do. None of us would sleep easier knowing he's dead just because he wouldn't be ''committing the cardinal sin of putting out a 'pure content mill' video'' because someone taking their own life is horrific-- especially Hbomberguy, how dare you even try to imply that?

And this gets me to the reason I'm furiously typing all this out in the first place: Hbomb is the fucking victim here, so stop treating him like he isn't. He tried making things as right as possible by compensating those that were burned by James through a video where he revealed everything there needs to be known about the guy so that less people fall victim to his actions and lies. To just ignore the harm James was causing while he had the evidence to prove it and platform too big to threaten into non existence should he speak out would've been bad. So he didn't. He did the right thing by sticking with the people James had stolen from, giving them a voice and making them known after they've been scrubbed from the picture by decidedly being uncredited for their works or bullied into silence. He shouldn't have to deal with this for doing the right thing. He shouldn't be labelled a murderer for doing the right thing. He shouldn't have to have the death of a man on his conscience for doing the right thing. People claiming otherwise are obviously wrong, but I can't imagine what all this must feel like right now. Because even tho they're wrong, guilt isn't a rational thing, and I know that if I were in his position I'd still feel like a morally bankrupt individual were the worst to happen even if I knew that it was not my fault. This isn't a funny story. So to add to this dumpsterfire by using it as a prop to bash on a creator you don't like and immediately write Somerton off as dead even when he's not even been confirmed dead yet to do that shows how little these people actually care about the thing they're talking about. They don't care a guy potentially killed himself-- what they care about is using it to paint Hbomb in a bad light because they don't like him. Here they are, posting memes and ill jokes about this very delicate situation while barely a day since the news broke out had passed. It's opportunistic, it's sickening, and literally the exact thing he criticised in his video when talking about 'content mills'. Like, I know none of these clowns bothered to actually watch it, but have some self-awareness. And some shame too, while you're at it.

This long story short: I'm writing this to contribute to the narrative not getting twisted to make Hbomb out to be the villian. Same goes for everyone else. Don't let these people paint them as the villians. If I see another person pull this shit again I will literally bite you and shred you into salad and spit you back out because I hate you so much and I mean that wholeheartedly.

To Hbomb: you will never see this but if you do, take care of yourself.

To the asshats this post is about: Delete your account. Cease all together. Stop talking about this. Just leave him the fuck alone.

#hbomberguy #james somerton #this post took me ages to finish and really grinds my gears #i would not survive on that hellscape with people like this holy shit #really hope this situation turns out for the best #i wrote this while i was frustrated and sleep deprived so apologies for unnoticed grammar i'll correct it later #i'll be keeping my eyes peeled for any updates on this situation this is actually getting scary

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the-dumpster-fire-of-life · 1 year

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It is angst hours, a little idea for a little sad chaos in my DR entered my head - Feel free to decline to write by the way! It is very specific and not everyone likes to write about these themes either way 💕

This would be Bill-centric, maybe before he’s in a relationship with the reader that is also a member of the band. Their world tours took huge turns on them, I mean, Bill had literal surgery for his vocal chords and they were all very exhausted. What if, after a show that was not very smooth for the reader as she was feeling very lightheaded with the lights and noise so she misses a couple notes, reader collapses from exhaustion or malnutrition when getting off the stage (let’s be honest the kids were running on 2hrs of sleep, energy drinks, alcohol and adrenaline). How would he react and act on this but most importantly, being by reader’s side as she recovers. Maybe you could imply that the reader was also there for him when he had his surgery :)

Have a great day btw 💖💖

(I should script this into my Dr, dam. But anyways, Hi and thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day! Here ya go!)

Bill Kaulitz x Exhausted!Reader

Sometimes you and Bill were just straight out tired

You never knew how tiring being famous could be

When you were young you dreamed of being on stage, being famous and everything that came with it

Until you actually did

Sometimes, you could compare it to hell

You never regretted getting famous with their friends and boyfriend, but you hated the downsides that came with it

You had no privacy, interviewers asked personal questions, you were followed, you had pictures and videos taken of you every second of every day

You sometimes got no sleep, rarely getting a few hours

Ever since it all began tours took everything, you had interviews and you had photoshoots

You and Bill relied on each other a bunch, but even sneaking away was hard and sleeping was always interrupted by something more "important"

Your relationship wasn't even something just between you and Bill

You tried so hard, but you guys were always under a microscope and hounded with rumors

And you guys were only teenagers

You barely saw family, friends, couldn't even go to your own parents house without being followed or stalked

Sometimes you forgot to eat or drink, stressing over shows and little details so much Bill even got worried for you

It got so much worse when Bill had surgery on his vocal cords because of singing non-stop at shows

It really showed how much cons and pros came with being famous, sometimes you wished you could just have a single day with just you and Bill

But you couldn't even get that, not even in the hospital when he was trying to get better

So, safe to say you were all fucking tired

You ran on energy drinks, caffeine and adrenaline all the time and sometimes two hours of sleep, maybe three

So many things were going on at once, and shows were never easy, but one was worse than the others

You were light headed and dizzy on stage, the bright lights and loud music you usually loved was messing everything in your mind up and you felt like you were gonna throw up and pass out

You missed a couple notes, which you never did, and Bill immediately noticed

He got worried when he saw how out of it you looked

You were sweaty, staring around and your eyes looked barely open

Bill got concerned and the concert took a little break when you looked like you were about to gag

Bill somehow made his way beside you, which you barely noticed

Bill put his hand around your waist and immediately you stumbled

He caught you the best he could, shooting Tom, Gustav and Georg looks before he helped you off backstage

Right when you guys got off, he stumbled when you actually closed your eyes and passed out

"Oh, shit. (Name)?!"

He was shaking you, hearing you mumble in his arms as he was freaking out a bit but trying to remain calm

He called for help and got you back to y'all's dressing room as the guys got off quickly, seeing their friend legit on the ground

What Bill figured out from staff and your mumbling was that you were exhausted, staff hadn't even seen you eat for a bit and as guilty as he felt, neither did Bill, or Gutav, or Georg, or Tom

Bill felt like shit and stayed in the dressing room with you,

You were sitting on his lap, Bill holding you asleep as he tried to make sure you were okay

He was worried as shit and felt guilty

You noticed when he was getting sick but he didn't notice how you were being eaten alive by exhaustion and stress

He was too, but that wasn't an excuse

He stayed with you the entire time, never leaving your side

"It's okay, it's okay."

You couldn't hear anything but Bill's voice as he held you, you exhausted form sitting between his legs with his arms around you.

"I'm fucking tired, Bill." You shook your head, wiping away the angry and frustrated tears as Bill rested his chin on your head, kissing the top of your head to try and comfort you.

"I know, I know." Bill whispered back, feeling the way out gripped onto his arms and let the tears fall as you were held to his chest.

"I can't go back out." You mumbled out through your tired sobs, your body not letting you do anything else but he held.

"I know, you don't have too." Bill shook his head, running his hand over your hair as he pulled back to look at you.

"It's over. You don't have to do anything." Bill comforted you, his face closer to yours as you wiped your eyes, the anger and the exhaustion all from the months before coming out.

You shook your head, sniffling as you tried to push him towards the door softly.

"You can, you don't have to stay. Go have fun, I'll be okay." You tried to convince Bill, the Kaulitz boy shook his head as he gently grabbed your wrists.

"I'm not going back out there without you, I'm not leaving you." Bill calmly denied, interrupting you as you started to argue back.

"I'm exhausted too. You stayed with me when I wasn't too hot," Bill tried to smile for you, wiping away your tears with his thumbs, cupping your cheek.

"It's my turn to take care of you now." Bill stated, seeing the way you stayed silent but the way your body began to shake a little more, Bill knew he wasn't leaving for anything.

"It's okay, it's over now." Bill whispered into your ear, kissing your temple as he heard another son rack through your form.

Bill knew you as the strongest person he knew, but now you needed him like he needed you when he had his own surgery.

And the way you now wrapped your arms around his neck, he pulled you onto his lap, holding you as you clung to him as an exhausted teen.

Because that's what you were, a teenager with too much on their plate.

So Bill let you hold your arms around his neck, gently sitting on the ground with you and whispering nothing but apologies and comforting words in your ear.

Bill wouldn't leave you, not even when you said you were okay, and now you needed him like he would always need you.

#tom kaulitz #gustav schäfer #georg listing #tokio hotel georg #gustav tokio hotel #tokio hotel imagine #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel #bill kaulitz imagines #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #bill

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tenebraevesper · 4 months

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Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 3)

Welcome back to Part 3 of my character analysis, now focusing not only on Shadow, but also on Sonic! This part will be only covering the second half of Episode 09: Avoid the Void, as there is a lot to talk about. I had also realized that I probably could've just breezed through the episode, but instead, I had the urge to put these two hedgehogs under a microscope because they are so fascinating to talk about.

Let's dive in!

After realizing just how bad the consequences of his actions were and how Ghost Hill came to be, Sonic wonders how he should fix things. Shadow just sighs and tells Sonic to follow him, leading him back to the cave where the Paradox Prism was.

The first thing to note here is Sonic's body language as they arrive at the cave. At first, he seems to be ready to confront whatever is awaiting him, only for his expression to fall and he seems to be a bit lost in his thoughts, clearly reluctant to enter the cave. He understands what he had done and he is not ready to confront his past actions... at least, not until Shadow calls his name.

''Sonic!''

Shadow doesn't sound angry in this scene. It is more as if he's just trying to draw Sonic's attention to get him to move. I'm certain that Sonic would've stood in front of the cave for ages before even going inside, probably trying to come up with some excuse not to have to do this.

We see Sonic being quite unsure of this, holding his arm in comfort as he approaches the cave slowly, with Shadow patiently waiting for him. He clearly doesn't want to be here, especially since he doesn't know what to expect.

As Sonic walks into the cave, we also see Shadow briefly glancing at Sonic's shoes, which are reacting to the remaining Shard of the Paradox Prism, which is just more foreshadowing for what is about to happen.

Shadow then turns his gaze back to Sonic, who stares in grief at the lone Paradox Prism Shard within the cave, joining him a moment later. I think there is something quite telling about this scene. Shadow actually gives Sonic a moment to process everything, leaving him to contemplate in silence. There are no comments, no fighting, nothing... just silence. I do have a bit more to say about this moment, but I will leave those thoughts for a scene in Episode 17: Grim Tidings.

''I would do anything to be back...'' ''Home.'' *pauses* ''There is a chance.''

After Sonic has a flashback to the moment he shattered the Paradox Prism, he wishes for nothing more but to be back... home, as Shadow finishes for him. I do love that Shadow is the one who says ''Home'' here, showing not only that he understands Sonic's grief, but again, he acknowledges Green Hill as his own home as well. He then slightly lowers his gaze, having a contemplative look, before telling Sonic that there is a chance.

One thing I love about Shadow here is how he actually gives Sonic hope that there is a way to fix things. He doesn't just confront him with the harsh reality, but is also very patient with him, giving him time to process things, before explaining that there is indeed a way to fix things.

The two then dash to the Ghost Paradox Prism, with Shadow explaining how every Shattespace contains a Shard, creating a distorted version of their reality, meaning that the Shard in Ghost Hill is the real one.

''Exactly.'' *Sonic slowly reaches for the Shard* ''Don't!'' ''I wasn't going to touch it! I was just pointing at it to tell you not to touch it!''

Honestly, this little exchange had me chuckling. Once again, Shadow knows Sonic too well, just closing his eyes and moving on, not even caring about Sonic's lame excuse.

Instead, he reveals his plan to Sonic, pointing out how the Ghost Paradox Prism shows them how the other Shards need to be placed and that bringing them together would fix their reality, with Sonic interrupting him, agreeing that this plan would work.

Note Shadow's expression here as Sonic starts speaking. He is frowning and gritting his teeth. I may have had said that Shadow was probably on the fence on whether to let Sonic help him, but I think that in this moment, especially when Sonic starts talking about Nine, he has made the decision to find the Shards on his own.

''No!'' ''No?'' ''No!'' ''Why 'No'? I just said he's like super smart.'' ''He can't be trusted.'' ''What are you talking about? Of course he can! He's just like Tails! He's just a little... angsty, that's all.'' ''No, he's not Tails. He's Nine, and they're not your real friends!'' ''Dude, he's real! This is his reality! And you know what else is real? Nine's tech on my kicks and punching sticks. So back up off Nine!'' *growls*

Honestly, there is a lot to say about this dialogue. First of all, while Sonic defending Nine is very admirable, Shadow isn't wrong in saying that Nine is not Tails, nor that he is real. From a logical standpoint, Nine really is not Tails, but his own person. He is Nine, and he was created as a Shatterspace Variation of Tails' personality, the part of him that seeks emotional validation. Shadow understands that, but Sonic does have a point that Nine is indeed real, although Nine would be real in the sense that his existence is tied to the New Yoke Shatterverse.

Also, note how Shadow doesn't continue the argument, just growling in frustration when he sees that Sonic has his mind set on Nine being just like his Tails. The conversation then continues.

*sighs* ''Okay, look, what matters now is that I get the Shards. I'll bring them back here, and then we-'' ''That's not the plan.'' ''Dude, not the plan? I'm totally confused. I thought a moment ago you said-'' ''Sonic, you literally broke our world. Why would I trust you to do anything?'' ''Okay, I can see how you might think that-'' *gets knocked back by Shadow, hitting a wall* ''Ugh.'' ''Your turn is over. I'm taking the tech and I'm going after the Shards myself.'' ''No way Shadow! I know what you're capable of and that's not gonna happen! Nine and all the rest of them are real! So the only way you're taking my tech is over my dead-'' *gets attacked by Shadow into a wall, groans in pain* ''You could've at let me finish what I was going to say!''

Now, there is a lot to unpack here, especially when it comes to Shadow. He now believes that Sonic cannot be trusted with gathering the Shards, making it his personal mission to do it himself. I don't think his lack of trust in Sonic's abilities is just because of Sonic shattering the Paradox Prism, but also because of Sonic's trust in Nine, a person Shadow is clearly paranoid about.

Sonic protests, and his words ''I know what you're capable of'' hold a lot of weight when you know Shadow's backstory. Sonic is not just saying that he knows that Shadow would beat up anyone who stands in his way, but pointing reminding both himself and the audience that, if Shadow is motivated enough, he's capable of destroying the world.

He then gets interrupted by Shadow, who doesn't even talk back. This is another aspect of Shadow's character, as once he is done with all the explanations, he is all business and once he is focused on a mission, he has no time for small talk. If Sonic wants to stop him, he will have to fight.

What follows next is one of the best fights of Sonic Prime, and you can't change my mind about that. I will highlight some moments of the fight, because you can actually see that there is some strategy behind it.

''That's one! Three to go.'' *puts tech on his hand* ''Want it back? Come and get it!''

When Shadow gets punched by Sonic, he actually manages to bite the tech off his hand, which is actually genius. Not only that, but he actually is the one to start goading Sonic into fighting him. During their last fight, Shadow was mostly silent, trying to stop Sonic, but now? Now he's going all out.

As a matter of fact, you can actually see him smile several times during the fight as he baits Sonic into attacking him and dodges his moves. It is very brief, but it shows another side of Shadow - he enjoys fighting Sonic, and from what we have seen earlier in the show, Sonic also enjoys fighting Shadow.

There is a reason why Sonic has called him his biggest rival, several reasons in fact. Shadow is the only one who can keep up with Sonic, both in speed and fighting skills, and both enjoy fighting each other (whether the fate of the world is at stake or not). In short, he and Sonic aren't that different, and I will explain that in a moment, but let's just enjoy these two beating each other up.

If you know Shadow, you will know that this pose is a reference.

Drowning selfie!

Anyways, to recap what happened until now, Sonic chases Shadow to the beach, where Shadow manages to get two more pieces of his tech, before throwing him into the water (Sonic's weakness, as he cannot swim) and then grabbing the fourth piece of the tech. As Shadow swims away, Sonic manages to grab the tech on Shadow's shoes, something Shadow doesn't notice.

He is about to walk away, when Sonic shows off the tech he snagged away, much to Shadow's shock. *chuckles* Dude, you're really underestimating your rival!

Honestly, I just love how expressive Shadow gets during the fight. He is always seen with a scowl, but now we see a wider range of expressions and emotions from him, and it is glorious.

The fight continues, and we even get a scene of Shadow using Sonic as a surfing board (Sonic Riders reference?), and it is just fun following these two in their high-speed chase. Shadow eventually manages to get back the tech pieces from Sonic, putting the last one on with quite a lot of flair (I wish I could post the screenshots of that, but again, Tumblr has a limit of how many images you can put in one post).

*breathes heavily* ''One left... Come at me, bro!'' ''Nah, I'm good.'' *shows off stolen tech* ''Huh?! No!'' ''So long, Sonic! See you back home.''

I absolutely love this scene! Shadow doesn't just leave, but stays for a moment to rub it into Sonic's face that he won. It is so hilarious, but also so in character! Shadow can have fun when he wants to, although this usually involves Sonic in some form *hears the Sonadow fans screaming in glee* *stares at the rest of the audience* What, I am right, aren't I? Did you see him act like this around anyone else (in Sonic Prime, I'm not talking about the games)?

This is then followed by a chase between Sonic and Shadow, with Sonic having a hard time to control the Paradox Prism energy without the tech, and Shadow...

Look at that grin! Shadow is a smug bastard and he knows it! We also love him for that!

With Shadow escaping Ghost Hill, Sonic is left behind... until he has a moment where he remembers what Shadow told him previously about his Prism Energy and being able to create portals - proof that Sonic actually did listen to Shadow! Elated, Sonic uses it to escape into The Void, where he tackles Shadow and their fight continues, with both of them having to avoid the crystals falling around.

''Come at me, bro.''

It is repeated in monotone, but I do love that Shadow actually mocks Sonic with his own words. He is more than willing to continue this fight. However, it is cut short when they get to the New Yoke gateway and spot the Chaos Council flying into Boscage Maze with their fleet of ships. Shadow follows them, but unlike Sonic, he still cannot get through the gateways.

Man, that looks painful, and what follows is even worse, because Shadow is sent flying into the black hole below, much to Sonic's horror.

Sonic is horrified, not just because Shadow is about to die, but he also probably has a flashback to what happened in Sonic Adventure 2, when Shadow was left flying towards Earth and Sonic was unable to save him. However, this time, Sonic won't repeat the same mistake.

This time, he manages to save him (and the Sonadow fans go wild!).

''You're not dead. You're welcome! On the bright side, I'll get to hold this over you foreeeever. Oh, and I'll take my tech back.''

Now, it's Sonic's turn to be a smug bastard. Do you now understand why these two aren't too different from each other?

Shadow replies how he doesn't understand, as he thought that the tech would allow him to go through gateways... and then he realizes that it's not the tech - it's Sonic.

''The only way to fix the reality you shattered is if we... work... together.'' ''Together!'' *groans* ''Wow! Coming from you that's, well, not like you at all. Man, you must really hate having to admit that you need me.'' ''You need me!'' ''Sure, I'm big enough to admit that. But, not as much as you need me.''

Honestly, their banter is just as hilarious as it's cute. Shadow genuinely looks like he's in emotional pain when he says that he has to work together with Sonic, and Sonic is not just surprised, but also is very happy to hear that from Shadow. Shadow then points out that Sonic needs him, with Sonic getting the last word in in their banter as he leaps to get to Boscage Maze.

Sonic's grin and Shadow's little nod here say more than a thousand words. To me, it seemed that Sonic was actually seeking a bit of validation from Shadow, something to make it clear that Shadow trusts him now and that they will work closely together from now on, with Shadow nodding in agreement. It is such a small, yet powerful moment, showing us that Shadow has finally come around to rely on Sonic's help. Sure, he had to be knocked out to realize that, but what would Shadow be without his stubborness.

Sonic is now set, having Shadow as a powerful ally and watching over him.

This was an amazing showcasing of Sonic and Shadow's relationship, and my conclusion by the end of it is this:

Sonic and Shadow complement each other.

*hears cries of joy* Calm down Sonadow shippers, I'm done yet with this statement.

If you know the process of creation of Shadow's character, you have probably heard that Shadow was supposed to be a darker reflection of Sonic (his previous name was Terios, which means ''reflection of''). These two are two sides of the same coin, with Sonic representing the more carefree and freedom-seeking side, while Shadow is the more grim and focused side. Both want to protect the world, but often clash due to their differing methods.

However, while they don't work often together, when they do, they work really well together.

You have seen in this very episode that Sonic, even though he had a plan, he was very unfocused and has a hard time listening to people. So, when does he get focused? It is when Shadow knocks some sense into him, confronting him with the harsh reality of their situation, but also giving him some hope that they can fix their reality. Even in previous episodes, we saw that Sonic's friends, be it the Green Hill crew or the Shatterverse Variants, had a hard time to get him to listen, but with Shadow, it's different. He knows how to treat Sonic and what to tell him and it's beautiful to see.

Both Sonic and Shadow were right in their conversation. They need each other, because alone, they won't be able to save the Shatterverse and Ghost Hill. However, they are just in the middle stage of their developing relationship and it'll be an uphill battle for them to finally work together properly.

It is also one of the many reasons people love the Sonadow ship so much. No matter their differences, they are very much alike and it just takes them to open up a little to acknowledge that.

Also, the moment I saw this episode, I made a Sonadow AMV, with the song being Vandalize by One OK Rock, aka the song from Sonic Frontiers (click on the link provided to watch it). Seriously, you can't tell me that that isn't a Sonadow song. Enjoy!

Anyways, I'll see you in Part 4, which will (hopefully) cover the other seven episodes of Part 2 of the Sonic Prime (I refuse to call 8 episodes a Season no matter what Netflix says).

#Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 2)

#Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 4)

#Sonic the Hedgehog Analyzer (Masterlist)

#Ten's Thoughts #sonic prime #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonadow #sonadow prime

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scoobydoodean · 3 months

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the thing about emma vs amy is they’re literally not comparable at all really!! one HAS KILLED PEOPLE WITHOUT REMORSE (arguably, it’s been a while since i’ve seen the episode) and the other… HAS NOT! a comparison i have never seen people make that is actually so much better, so much more interesting? emma and that dude in metamorphosis, the rugaru. both are supposedly “monsters” who will inevitably kill somebody and thus deserve to be killed as a preemptive measure (even though they haven’t actually hurt anybody yet), as argued by sam about emma and dean/the other hunter about the rugaru. the difference? DEAN DECIDES TO TRUST SAM AND TRY TO HELP THE DUDE. sam on the other hand disregards dean’s wishes and any possibility of emma making the right choice.

i’m convinced that the only reason people compare emma and amy is because “dean admits he was wrong to kill her” (which isn’t actually what he says but people don’t really care about the exacts). if they were to look at any other episode where the definition of monster is argued, they’d see that sam is usually on the side of “give them a chance” (and ftr dean is too almost all of the time) UNLESS it’s a “monster” associated with dean… why are sam’s morals different for these people? for emma?

sorry i know that’s a long rant, but every time i see the emma vs amy debates it boggles me that metamorphosis dude is never brought up too! also i hope this all makes sense haha

Emma and Amy aren't even remotely comparable. In any way. Emma and Amy's son who Dean didn't kill? Yep. They are directly comparable. But Amy and Emma? Get outta here! Jack Montgomery (Metamorphosis) and Jack Kline (two Jack's!) can both be interesting Emma parallels. Especially when comparing how desperate fans are to coddle Jack Kline from so much as experiencing a negative emotion when he's brainwashing people from the womb, bursting out of his mom's body like something out of Alien, and actively strangling innocent black store clerks to death.

Contrary to the belief of people who don't watch the show but are always making wide-sweeping claims about what happens in it, Sam and Dean have a long history of trying to protect "good" monsters (including from other hunters!) from 2.03 "Bloodlust" and onwards (2.03, 2.17, 4.04, 5.06, 6.02, 8.04, 12.04, 12.16). There's a weird disk horse that's opened up in the last several years that Sam and Dean are always indiscriminately killing monsters who don't deserve it all of the time because "supernatural power bad" and that just isn't true. Like. Actually look at the cases they go on? Sam and Dean kill murderers whose crimes are committed supernaturally which is going to allow them to get away with it and/or continue doing it. They don't kill people just because they're "different"—in fact, the entirety of season 2 is about not killing people just because they're different, or because of some alleged inescapable dark destiny.

I've spoken before about how "Bloodlust" is treated by fandom as an episode where Sam stands on some sort of moral high ground from the beginning about the existence of good monsters, but that isn't what actually happens in the episode. Sam ends the episode with zero remorse about any previous hunts John ever took them on while Dean thinks back and wonders if they hurt people who didn't deserve it at some point (no questionable hunts in season 1 FYI—and the majority of them are ghost-related).

The way that Sam can compartmentalize/let go of his past actions and move on is useful in their field of work, but in contrast with Dean's tendency to feel eaten alive by guilt, it often results in fandom disk horse where fans follow Sam's lead by compartmentalizing and burying and excusing his actions as if they never happened, while putting everything Dean does under a microscope because his visible guilt implicates him in the eyes of fans. Because Dean spends several episodes feeling bad after 7.03, he must have done something super duper bad and horrible and is the worst person alive, and Amy didn't deserve to die. But because Sam doesn't ever show a single shred of remorse after 7.13 and Dean doesn't ever talk about it again, Sam must have been in the right. It's actually bizarre when you think about it—Sam's lack of guilt ought to be chilling to fans, but instead, it's often used to absolve him of wrongdoing... and for all their flaws that everyone is always harping on, I do think Bucklemming intended Sam's actions and his attitude after to be chilling. They don't intend him to be seen as "in the right".

Dean buries what happens with Emma down deep, and it's obvious why. He can't take another hit like this in season 7. Not after Cas and Bobby. He buries it deep down like he buried Lisa and Ben deep down. In addition... if Dean wanted to bring Emma up, who the actual fuck would or could he have talked to about her? Bobby's dead. Cas is dead. The only person left in Dean's life is the person who killed his daughter, and Sam made it very clear that he didn't give a shit how Dean felt about her being dead. In fact, he lectured Dean for hesitating to kill his own biological child, and said she "wasn't really his". Then when Dean disputed that claim, Sam immediately called him crazy and acted like Dean's actions (trying to push a monster kid who hasn't hurt anyone off a terrible path) are out of character when they ARE NOT (2.03, ALL OF SEASON 2, 4.04, 5.06). Even 7.03 itself supports Dean's actions with Emma as in character, because the ACTUAL Emma analogue, Amy's son, is not killed by Dean. So yeah. Who the FUCK was Dean going to talk with this about? Given Sam's long and storied history of behaving as the thought police, if Dean had so much as looked too sad in his presence, Sam would have lit into him all over again, and what fucking good was that going to do?

And yeah teehee Sam doesn't want Dean to have too many friends. More than one often-dead close friend is too many.

#mail #emma #amy #7.13 #7.03 #season 7

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chubs-deuce · 4 months

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Hough I haven't been hyperfixated on a specific character like this in a hot minute, send help

Aggressively rotating the dastardly deer man in my brain like a microwave with lethal intent

Characters like him are like a goddamn drug to my character analysis loving brain, the way he's so transparent and yet mysterious, cunning, observant and merciless-

How he manages to have such an impossibly large presence and yet flies under the radar just enough to collect information unnoticed, stacking the cards in his favor one carefully spun advantage at a time. Every detail is considered, taken into account and, if needed, subtly nudged into a more advantageous position.

The way he gives just enough information about himself to give others a false sense of security but not enough to actually let them win the game, relishing in their ignorance as he lays out the trap in clear fucking view until all that's left to do is set out the lure and wait for the perfect moment to snap it shut.

I want to study him in a lab, put him into a little glass bottle, then shake it and throw it into the fucking sun-

This isn't a "I can fix him" or a "I can make him worse" hyperfixation, but a secret, third thing (I wish to pluck him apart into tiny pieces to then scrutinize under a microscope)

Biting snarling foaming at the mouth

#Alastor #hazbin hotel #Hyperfixation #chubs rambles

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justanotherfanfolks · 6 months

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Guys saw this post and it set off the part of my brain where Cater Diamond lives rent free.

@krenenbaker you inspired this.

Gosh, I wanna throw Cater under a microscope.

Like he is such a fascinating character, it's so sad that people just see him as the "social media character." I remember a few months after I got the game I was reading through his vignettes and he was just setting off the gears in my head. Especially his Halloween vignette. I've talked about it before, but it gives us so much insight into Cater. How he doesn't like letting people in and keeps everyone at arms length, even Trey. When Trey was a Starsender, he wouldn't tell him his actual wish. And he was the same before when they got visited by a previous Starsender the year before. Trey knows there's something about him, but he is Trey "But That's None of My Business" Clover so he never pries. He's the closest to Cater, but maybe that's what makes Cater so wary. And how when his mandrake threatened to pull down the curtain, he shoved it back, he changed the subject. We also almost never get Cater by himself. He's always surrounded by people, always performing. And it's hard to tell what he's thinking because he's always brushing stuff aside with a smile on his face. But his Halloween vignette is one where we actually get to see some cracks in that, we actually get a peek into his brain. He's scared of getting too close to people because every time he lets someone in, he has to leave. He clearly cares about the people around him, but he has a track record that prevents him from showing too much of that. And by extension, we as an audience don't get to see too much of who he is behind closed doors. We know he puts on a show, he doesn't like showing when things get to him. When he mentions moving around a lot, he doesn't mention the struggle of it out loud. He says he likes Magicam for the casual connections and how it helps him keep in touch with old faces, but in his vignette when he actually gets messages from one of these faces he doesn't want to engage. In Silver's Halloween vignette he says his life has taught him to live in the moment. But it also taught him to not get comfortable, to keep walls up. He didn’t even tell his dorm something as simple as how he doesn't like sweets for years. Back on Halloween, he watches Diasomnia with something like envy. How they can be there for each other, be close. How they couldn't understand. Not knowing how someone there actually can understand.

Book 7 spoilers mentioned:

I also have a side tangent about him being multifaceted and always blending into what he expects people want. In Book 7, Cater is the only one we see truly struggling with the internships. Like, it is painfully relatable, I feel so called out. We go around the Juniors and see them feeling confident in their plans and here Cater is with his head on a desk feeling more confused and uncertain the more people he talks to. He's spent so much time following what other people want, putting on a show, he doesn't know where to go now. Let's not even mention how this is the moment he knew was coming for the past 3 years: that inevitable goodbye. I feel like Cater could be so interesting for the conflict going on in Diasomnia, but I'm not sure if they'll use him.

Tangent closing: I really like Cater. He's really well written and I don't think he gets enough respect on that front. He gets really good dialogue lines, but he also gets so much more. To me, he's one of the best characters in the game.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the Cangst is real people.

#twisted wonderland #twst #cater diamond #the Cangst is Real #i swear someone says cater and I break down their door with a whiteboard and a marker in hand #almost put this under the original post but I wrote too much #i need to learn how to articulate my thoughts better #spreading the catergenda

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myun-saidthoughts · 10 months

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Please do 7th house synastry and 6th house please

6th House Synastry:

With this synastry, some themes that persist in this house are mundane affairs, work habits, routines, physical health, self-care/medicine. This house also represents animals, taking care of others, and perhaps in the best case scenario putting someone else's needs above their own, and in worst case scenario nit-picking or nagging on one another.

I feel like this synastry would create two individuals who would work well together in their everyday life, depending on what planets are sitting here would create a more specific theme, but perhaps you put your partner needs above your own, or (you or them) could think of the small little details that would make their day easier, such as them making your coffee everyday or picking up your favorite food on the way home from work, this house to me (when it comes to partnership) would amplify doing little acts of service for one another and heightens consideration on both ends (or could be one sided depending on each own natal chart). You guys can work together or have the same interests when it comes to hobbies or activities. Now if the planet(s) involved aren't making harsh aspects to your planets (or vice versa) then this energy could manifest pleasantly. Their considerate nature brings more ease into your life, rather than causes more unnecessary setbacks. In other sense, if someone is looking for more of a fun, passionate, type of love or adventure then this house could feel a bit boring. Not everyone will appreciate considerate acts as a whole when it comes to love, so it depends on how the person will receive this kind of energy.

Another sense of this is, I feel like this could make you or your partner overly aware of one another, meaning how they act, what they say, or even to what they wear might be under a microscope, malicious intent is not on purpose but this house's energy might unlock or uncover that type of detailed energy.

Balancing one another might come easy and you're able to add them in your everyday life, they might fit in like a puzzle piece with no blockages or resistance; but again depending on their own natal chart; they might view this as a gateway to a white picket fence and not everyone searches for that type of lifestyle.

7TH House Synastry

I have dealt with 7th house synastry before, I made a post about him a few months ago but relooking at our synastry the main feelings that persevered had to be his Pluto conjuncting my Venus and squaring my Mars. That was a whirlwind in itself and because of my Scorpio Moon/12H Venus & Pluto/Moon square Neptune I clung onto that peace he gave me for dear life. So, I'm not entirely sure if what I felt from him was either the 7th house energy, or his Pluto, or from a past life, but anyway going off from what I feel like this energy would bring:

With 7th house synastry, one common theme I hear about this house is it represents open enemies/your life partner. This house is directly opposite of your ascendant, therefore the qualities this house brings will either be qualities you wish you had or wish to develop, or qualities you find perhaps even annoying or "too much" to deal with; depending on what journey you're on when it comes with accepting your 7th house needs. A part of you might admire the traits of the person who falls in your 7th house because they might obtain qualities or attributes you're still trying to decipher within or unlock, or you might find it like I said (annoying) or just out of your comfort zone.

Depending on what planet that falls in the 7th house and it's aspects would create a better story but for the most part, I believe this would need other cute synastry aspects/desire for it to manifest in the upmost positive sense of them becoming your life long partner/lover; especially if you are like me who sort of need that passion and lust when it comes to romantic partners but to each their own.

Attraction and desire to continue the relationship I think is noteworthy; although if you yourself have 7th house placements then this energy that they ignite in you might be ideal. (This may reign more true if you personally have active 1H/2H/12H natal placements, if you share more 5H/7H/8H natal placements then the energy the 7th house brings may feel more ideal. I personally have NO 7th house placements, and I immensely struggle with emotional vulnerability and acceptance of love so for me, I would struggle more with solely 7th house synastry then the next person)

In one short fling this boys Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars fell in my 7th house and I was repulsed, like okay I was interested at first for whatever reason because I was drunk and he was in front of me; but he ignited uncomfortable feelings the following days after because he sat SO heavy on a house I have no business or care for (as of yet).

But going back to what I feel this would cause from my astrological guess is; if there is a connection forged then this would bring you two closer. You might take on their traits that they are able to master and they might take on yours; bringing in balance for you two and ease with where you guys want your connection to go. They can become the ying to your yang; when you're overly emotional they help you stand your ground with making sound decisions and with processing your emotions. They'll be able to comfort you in the way you always wished someone would. If you're suddenly overly cold or detached they can help show and ignite compassion and empathy within you, if you're an over thinker where you worry or have unnecessary thoughts they can come in and bring in light and hope when it feels hopeless. If you're overly impulsive or chaotic/dramatic they can come in and ease the intensity you might showcase in everyday small matters, bringing in light-heartedness and bring you to understand your emotions better.

Therefore they can help you process your 7th house needs better than someone else, igniting character development or openness in some areas of life. Comfort could also be forged I believe, you might feel understood with them; making it easy to connect with them on a more deeper level, causing more closeness between the two of you.

I believe the reason this house can showcase long term potential is because once you embrace and take on the qualities of your descendant, then the connection between the two of you will manifest deeply and partnership is increased.

Again the planets in question and natal placements would always paint a better picture about how someone would react to these houses being lit up.

In other words if you or your person have heavy Libra/Virgo traits, have an active Venus/Mercury where Venus or Mercury are your chart rulers/make many aspects to your inner planets or have 7H & 6H natal placements then these synastry overlays would cause harmony rather than disruption.

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evablueblanket · 3 months

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Will you tell me about an LU character you love and why you love them? Please please please ramble on and on! It's my favorite! I get so many fun ideas when people gush about their favorites.

I (think) I've said this before, but I am not the most analytical/observ person ever so most of what I say is probably kinda shallow :') BUT THIS IS MY RAMBLE SO OH WELL

Okay so recently, I've been on a Warriors kick. I just super love how like, everyone portrays him! Most see him as big brother shaped, which I super love. His background is just so vastly different than every other Link, which serves as a very cool contrast imo

The way @somer-writes makes Twi and Wars idiodic brothers is like, my favorite ever. I love love love LOVE how he writes Wars and Twi it's so insane the comedy that unfolds when they're just messing around xD

Warriors has this air, this *vibe* which I'm just super drawn too, I think it's just how my personality vs his works (you could theoretically draw *some* parallels with Sokka from ATLA, at least the way they each hold themselves I'd say. Also big bro stuff) (ALSO how both of them are portrayed as 'smart', which is a trait I typically relate too in characters)

When I like a character though, it's more based on the different types of relationships everyone writes them as though, I'd say. Wars and Time and Wind have this super intriguing bond that I think is cool to see how everyone interprets it! For the most part people write them as they're all aware of the War of Ages and whatnot, which lead to some nice fluff and/or angst. But when there's some time paradoxes, it makes it every so more tragic and it's really interesting to see how that can get written. I recall a fic (I FORGOT THE TITLE AND THE AUTHOR NOO) where Wars was teaching Wind medic stuff, but it was like a year before Wind meets Wars in the war. So Wars is all "sob this is why Wind is such a good medic? *Bc I taught him?*" THIS IS SO COOL AND INTERESTING

Also when there's War of Ages fics that have Time/Mask being a stupid child (/aff) they're just super hilarious. There's a series out there that has the Fierce Deity (sorry forgot the author again xD) act as Wars parent figure/older brother figure and it's just really funny to me bc ofc Wars would be a stupid overworking idiot. Loser smh

Four is also another one of the sillies that live in my brain, and I kinda wish there were more fics on how they interact. Though, if I'm being real idk how they really would cause they don't really have the same synergy as any other Links. I just like my favorites to interact, but I super understand how they wouldn't ^^

Small side bit on serious Wars (the biggest example is "Call Them Brothers" by wutheringmights which I'm almost 100% certain you've read that already cause it's soooo long and it's SO GOOD AHH) and ugh I wish I could pay attention more to get every complexity that this Wars has but the brain kinda hates me. I think it makes a lot of sense for Wars to have a grittier characterization, war does that to people. The entire fic is so visceral to me, I just vividly remember reading the flashback section about the long winter, and I don't even know how to really describe it xD

Wars has such a broad range of emotion, if one were to put him under and microscope and study him there would be SO MUCH.

HAVE I TALKED ABOUT THE AESTHETIC

HES THE FUCKING PRETTY BOY OF THE GROUP AND THAT'S SO VALUBLE TO ME FOR NO REAL REASON

Ik Wild is seen as the one with like, outfits and Legend has his jewlery, BUT WARS HAS HIS FUCKING SCARF. THERES SO MANY POSTS ABOUT WARS AND HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SCARF AND I AM SO FUCKING FOR IT YOU HAVE NO IDEA

THE SHADE OF BLUE IS AWESOME, ITS SO COOL, ITS SO COOL HES SO COOL RAHHHH

*oops tehe I rambled like a lot* ty for this opportunity :D I'm super glad I decided to type this on my laptop and not my phone xD

#EvaBlue Rambles #like a lot #EvaBlue Answers #linked universe warriors #linked universe wars #linked universe #lu wars #lu warriors #I love rambling #this was super fun #tyyyy ily skip #you're a very cool person

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starlightshadowsworld · 1 month

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You don't know what I'd do (for you) Part 4 (Epilogue)

Link to full fic

Link to Part 1 of the series: Me and the Devil (Walking side by side)

Hey! You two be careful out there!" Yelled Kunikida, somehow his voice reached Atsushi and Kyouka who were by the water.

"We will!" Yelled Atsushi, it was only due to the tiger that he heard Kunikida.

"Relax Kunikida, they're big kids." Said Dazai, walking over to him and making Kunikida scoff. "You say that like you haven't been watching them as well." Grumbled his partner.

Dazai simply smiled.

"I didn't deny that, just that they'll be alright. Atsushi's a strong swimmer and besides, Kyouka won't let anything happen to him."

Even from this distance, Dazai could see Kyouka's critical eye on Atsushi as they played. She shrieked as Atsushi splashed water at her, and she returned the favour.

Atsushi's laughter filled the air and it was a truly welcoming sound. Kunikida visibly softened hearing it. A weight on his shoulders lifting and Dazai felt the same.

The day out to the beach had been a unanimous decision.

As much as everyone wanted to keep Atsushi inside and observed under a microscope, they all knew that was a bad idea.

Atsushi was scarred, and not in a way Yosano could heal. He needed this, to run and play like the kid he was never able to be.

Under the watchful but not suffocating eye of his friends.

If Kunikida wasn't being such a mother hen, Dazai might've reminded him that this had been Kunikida's idea.

Ah well, there was plenty of time for that.

"Kenji! Help me!" Called Kyouka, clearly losing against Atsushi. Kenji looked up from where he was making a sand castle with Junichiro and grinned.

"Coming!" Junichiro watched him go and got up as well. "I've got you Atsushi!" He yelled, running to his aid.

Atsushi smiled appreciatively before he was immediately put on defence by the sheer might of Kyouka and Kenji.

Dazai chuckled at the sight. He and Kunikida went to where the "adults" were hanging out. Yosano was reading a magazine. Ranpo was eating some sweets and Fukuzawa was reading a book.

"Ah the civilised people, we've come to join you" declared Dazai, flopping onto an empty deck chair.

Yosano snorted "just you wait till I finish this. I'm gonna crush them all."

Ranpo snorted "Oh you think I won't?" Asked Yosano, a sinister smile on her face that scared everyone. Except Ranpo of course, he just smirked back. "I don't know, if I join you might be outmatched."

Yosano's eyes shined with glee "is that so? Would you care to put your money where your mouth is?"

Fukuzawa shook his head with a fond smile. While Kunikida seriously debated if these were indeed the "civilised people."

"He looks happy" said Fukuzawa, getting all of their attention. Even when he wasn't in President mode, the man was hard to ignore.

"Kyouka said he had a nightmare last night." Said Kunikida, his voice quiet even though none of the teens could hear him. Nor were they paying them any attention.

"I thought about cancelling this, but I'm glad I didn't."

Yosano nodded in agreement, putting down her magazine. "It's going to be an uphill journey, healing as much as I wish it was, is not linear."

Aint that the truth.

Atsushi bless his heart had come so far. The fact he'd even come out to the beach, said it all. In the beginning Atsushi was terrified to go out. But even more so to stay inside.

The sound of a lock clicking sent him into a panic attack. Kyouka had called them in the dead of night multiple times.

Where they'd find Atsushi had woken up screaming and sobbing. The worst were the times when Atsushi would run off.

It reminded everyone just how close they came to losing him before.

To everyone's suprise whenever Atsushi ran off, Akutugawa of all people would burst into the Agency.

Sometimes literally. Rip Bernard, the poor office door gone before it's time.

Akutagawa would shove Atsushi onto the sofa and nod at everyone. Sometimes he'd leave, but sometimes Atsushi would grab onto his coat.

And Akutugawa would roll his eyes and sit back down. They'd end up talking about a mission, quickly going back to their usual banter.

But there was no bite to it. And it escaped no one that Rashomon was always hovering nearby incase of attack.

Than there was Chuuya.

Though Dazai wasn't suprised at him showing up. The Slug had always had a big mushy bleeding heart, as much as he denied it.

It was still funny to see Kunikida's shocked face that morning seeing Port Mafia Executive Chuuya Nakahara in the Agency building.

Sitting on a chair in the infirmary by Atsushi's bed and telling him a very embarrassing story about teenage Dazai.

Because of course he was.

Dazai could only huff theatrically because Atsushi was giggling. And his ego could be stabbed multiple times, if it meant Atsushi could look so happy again.

What did pour salt in the wound though was Kunikida silently pulling his own chair out. And gesturing for Chuuya to continue.

Truly the worst act of betrayal

They'd even gone for drinks as they'd planned before all of this. Dazai had nothing to receive such cruelty.

"By the way, what's the story with Dostoyevsky?" Asked Fukuzawa, his voice dropped to a whisper at his name. He didn't want to mention the bastard even if Atsushi couldn't hear him.

Ah, speaking of cruelty.

Once Atsushi had been rescued, the bastard had fled. But with the entire Agency minus Atsushi and several members of the Port Mafia, it was child's play to locate him.

Dazai hadn't even cared to play their game. He just ran over and decked Fyodor in the face. Sending him flying into a wall with a look of suprise.

"That's for Atsushi, but you and I both know you deserve so much worse."

Fyodor had dared to smirk and Dazai had to stop himself from punching him again. "Oh? And where were you when he handed himself over to me?"

He got up.

"You should've heard him, crying and screaming in agony it was like music to my ea-"

It wasn't Dazai who hit him. Kenji's eyes blazed brightly, no one had seen him move. All they saw was Fyodor hit the ceiling so hard he definitely broke something.

"Take his name out of your mouth."

Kenji who had been guarding the infirmary, who had wept when Atsushi was safe. Stood over Fyodor, seething like an avenging angel.

"You don't get to talk about him like you know him" Said Kyouka, her blade sharp in her hands.

"You played on our fears and he tried to stop you. And he won, because Atsushi's safe and you're here alone and pathetic."

Fyodor sneered and Junichiro stood infront of Kyouka and Kenji. "That's as far as you go" he glared, his bloodlust was practically tangible. "And what? You're going to kill me?"

Junichiro shook his head.

"Deaths too good for you, you're going to suffer for what you did. You want to be the king of this world? You'll rot in a cage beneath the earth and lay forgotten and pathetic."

Among the blazing rage, Dazai felt pride. And he knew he wasn't the only one.

Kunikida stepped forward, beside Junichiro. "You have no power here, you have no one and nothing. You're done, Fyodor Dostoyevsky."

Nikolai, the clown had been apprehended. He'd been Atsushi's torturer, they'd pieced it together from whispered words and sobs.

A man called Sigma hadn't been involved but he'd been informed. He'd told the Agency everything he knew, even volunteering to take Fyodor's memories and share them with Ango.

That way any future schemes would be cut short. Fukuzawa had agreed at the plan.

Dazai nullified his ability and Chuuya used his ability to keep the rat captive. He threw him (literally) into a cold cell.

Now that, was teamwork.

Death was a mercy Dazai wouldn't grant Fyodor.

If it was up to him Fyodor would rot in a cage too small for his feeble body. And he would suffer every wound and the pain he put Atsushi through.

But no amount of suffering would give Atsushi back what he'd lost.

And Dazai refused to become a monster and lose what he'd gained. The thought only cemented in his mind when he saw Kenji stood by the door.

"I want to kill him..." He whispered, voice shaking with anger, fear, greif and sadness.

They were all just kids, weren't they?

Dazai instantly pulled him into a hug. Letting him sob and hold him close. "I know Kenji, I know."

That damn Demon had taken enough from his family, Dazai refused to let him take any more.

"He's being interrogated currently, the Port Mafia are having their turn." Said Dazai, answering Fukuzawa's question.

Oh they had his memories now, Chuuya and Akutugawa were just taking shots at him.

Fukuzawa nodded.

That's when Atsushi ran over with a grin. "Well well look at what the cat dragged in" teased Ranpo. He threw a towel that Atsushi caught and bundled himself up in.

Looking all for the world like a drenched kitten.

"Welcome to the civilised people corner, Atsushi." Said Dazai making him snort. "No offence Dazai but if it involves you it's not a very civilised corner."

Dazai gasped in mock offense and Kunikida snorted. "So true Atsushi, did you want a snack?" Atsushi nodded, but averted his eyes.

"I... I just wanted to be close by." He said, in almost a whisper but they all caught it.

Dazai softened, scooting over and while the space was small, Atsushi slotted down beside him instantly.

He sent a reassuring look to Kyouka who nodded and went back to playing.

Ranpo took that as a cue to regale them all with a story of a case. One that was rather light and funny. Yosano chimed in, considering she'd been there.

Atsushi listened as he munched on a snack Kunikida passed over to him. Once he was sufficiently dry, he was bundled up in a blanket.

Dazai put a protective arm over him and Atsushi let out a relieved sigh.

And maybe just maybe things would be alright once again. They'd never go back to the way they were, and Atsushi had plenty to heal from.

But he wasn't alone.

Something told Atsushi he'd never be again. He'd broken his deal with a Demon. Atsushi had shown how far he'd go for those he loved. And in turn they showed just how far they would.

For him.

He'd missed this, and for the first time Atsushi was truly glad he'd survived.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bsd kyouka #bsd kenji #bsd dazai #bsd junichiro #bsd kunikida #bsd fukuzawa #bsd fyodor #bsd ranpo #bsd yosano

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missinconsistent · 1 month

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You can tell people who don't watch Niji are really scrambling to find anything to hate about the AR Live because they just don't want any of the livers to celebrate any accomplishments. But if anyone is actually taking the opinions of those who didn't even watch the damn event at face value, here is my take on some of the "issues" these people are complaining about:

Long read.

THE GRADUATED LIVERS:

Pomu's, Nina's, and Mysta's voice were kept because it was a decision by the livers to be included for the fans. The remaining livers re-recorded their live stages after the others graduated, but some people actually think Niji was just showing 1-year-old footage, which would take some insane editing skills. The graduated livers' voices were part of the back track, not as part of the live singing. Their vocals were only heard for debut songs, too. There is also a weird narrative that the voices of the graduated livers should not have been allowed when there is no problem with it. Those graduated livers still support their friends and were more than happy to be included in AR Live even after graduating.

SELEN AND PASTEL STAGE:

It makes sense why Selen had to be cut from AR Live. There would be a lot more heat if they kept her in after her termination than to just roll with it since, unlike the graduated livers, Selen was terminated not long after already recording AR Live back in November last year.

I get it's upsetting many things had to be cut from Pastel Stage, but it's not just getting all the livers to Japan, but also booking the venue, getting the 3D riggers, stage staff, choreographers, and more. They'd have to push the AR Live concert even further after canceling the initial one. It honestly makes sense that they'd cut content rather than spend the resources to re-record it for a THIRD time. And since everyone wants the Niji to take better care of their livers' mental health, then not overworking them on this overdue project is a start.

3D MODELS AND RIGGING:

Apparently, someone paid the money to hate-watch AR Live so they could spread screenshots to make it look bad, despite the strict copyright rule not to share screenshots (which of course would lead to a DMCA). Frankly, if anyone is going to judge the quality of the whole 3-hour concert based on snippets and not actually bother to watch it, then they can't make the conclusion that the 3D models were bad. Although it's weird that someone did pay to sit through a 3-hour concert without having any intention of enjoying it to begin with.

I watched the concert, and the 3D models looked good, in my opinion. Nijisanji is known to have better 3D rigging compared to their competitors. The team that did the models and rigging did a perfectly fine job and it's pretty insulting to put it down because you chose to look at it under a microscope and pinpoint any instance where it might have looked off. A lot of the choreography (especially Shu's Shanti 🪑) and the variety games show how good the rigging can look, and it seems unfair to not look at those examples alongside the bad ones.

CONCLUSION

I feel like the Niji hate at this point is getting ridiculous. There's plenty of real reasons to not like Niji. If you want to "SiNk tHe yAtCht" so bad, you can boycott it and not spend money to hate-watch their concert, lol. Drama channels finding anything to talk about AR Live when they haven't even watched it is just another example of how little integrity they have to report hearsay. And it's tiring to always hear people looking at any possible negative thing to say when the livers and their fans are just being happy..?

Don't get me wrong, I have my criticisms of the company. I've aired it out before. Especially after Selen's termination. Hell, it's not like I don't have my own critique of AR Live. I also wish fans got more Pastel Stage. I also wish the first AR Live wasn't canceled. But by no means do I think the AR Live we got was bad.

I left the concert feeling elated and overall had way more positive thoughts about it than any negative ones. And it has me looking forward to future AR Live concerts. Other 3D debuts. And other projects like NijiEncounter.

Anyways, Niji antis can and will keep obsessively bitching about Niji, and then say "cope and seethe" when someone tells them to take a chill pill. But Niji AR Live did really well. The fans are proud of the livers' hard work to make it happen. There will be more positive things to come for Niji enjoyers. But if antis want to keep writing their own fan fiction that tells them otherwise, there's no point in changing their mind, lol.

For fans that want to keep supporting their livers, or any sane person that wants to see Niji better themselves, please don't let the hate keep you from celebrating any wins, big or small, that the livers are accomplishing.

#nijisanji en #nijisanji #ar live

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adaptacy · 8 months

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It’s the anon with the Yearbook!Reader. Honestly surprised that was pumped out so fast with such quality, I was giggling when I read it ngl. Anyways, I am here to put forth another request for you to choose to do.

Got pretty boy Leland first.

Thinking about Leland and his S/O just relaxing in bed. Soft kisses, nice lil cuddles, some of that fluffy shi. My main point to this was called Leland pretty boy and just like, praising him. Give him all that TLC, babes deserves it.

(Could make it angst/comfort with Leland being insecure about scars he has after the Sawyer family incident, but just praising him for no reason is valid as hell)

It’d be chill if I sent several requests at the same time, yeah? I dont wanna fill up your request box, but I love your writing (Leland especially) and just have so many ideas at times. I also didn’t expect my request to be answered same day, usually takes a while, I’m willing to wait a week or two yknow.

-Kuhuahua

im- i- ik i havent been active on tumblr (ive been rping tcsm on discord <3) but i heard 1 song and it made me think of this request and then i rly wanted to write it SO here we go!

TW: aaaaaaangst with extra angst on the side.

Song recs: When You Gonna Run - Alpha Rev

He never talked about them. You understood why. Honestly, you doubted that he even spoke to his therapist about them. It's been four years. Even now, he still flinches when they're grazed, he whispers out quiet, "Not there, sweetheart," his voice tainted with a somber desperation, genuine hurt. You weren't sure if the pain was physical or emotional. Maybe both.

Four years and he still got teary-eyed if you asked about them, or referenced the incident at all. You'd learned not to, even if you did wish he would open up to you. For the first year that you were dating him you'd just assumed that he would talk about them when he was ready. But then the year came to an end. And so did the second one. And now, at 29 months with him, you'd stopped wishing. Gotten used to the shrugs and the soft sighs, the disdain in his gaze when you inquired about it.

So you didn't bring it up. But you knew he thought about it. Knew he felt it. Not talking about it was easy enough, after a while. But being close with him was hard. Physically close, that is. Every brush of your hand in the wrong spot, or a kiss on the wrong hand, touching your forehead a little to hard against the slit in his eyebrow-

29 months, and you still felt like shit for being unable to remember every single one of his scars. Every single placement- the big ones you could remember. But the small ones spanning the rest of his body, snips of horrors on his arms and the dots of regret on his torso, were impossible to map out.

He sat, watching the movie, next to you, one of his knees bent up to his chest while the other leg hung off of the couch, his chin propped up with one hand, his elbow resting on the cushioned arm of the loveseat, his other arm outstretched next to him, where his hand intertwined with yours.

The ones on his hands weren't bad. There were three on this one, tiny marks that you were surprised hadn't healed. You'd overheard the reason why; the second time you'd joined him at one of his doctor's appointments they'd mentioned him overworking himself, reopening the wounds. You wondered if they still hurt when he worked out.

Without thinking much of it, you scooted closer to him, only a few inches, and you snuck under his arm so that it hung off of your shoulder, though you refrained from leaning against him. He didn't react aside from a small squeeze of your hand. You lifted that hand and pushed a kiss to the back of it, earning his attention.

You didn't meet his eye. You didn't want to see the distant, aching hazel behind the kindness he usually showed. Didn't want to see the microscopic frown that tugged at his lips, you didn't want to see his chest rise and fall with another one of his dejected sighs. You just wanted to kiss him.

So you did, starting at the back of his hand and moving up, your mouth brushing against his arm just under another scar, your eyes closing. This time, it was you who sighed, and you took a gamble, moving your lips up and kissing the coarse patch of skin you'd avoided.

"Baby," he muttered, his voice tainted with the same sadness it held any time he was forced upon a reminder of his past. You didn't reply, nor did you stop, moving up to a different scar, this one closer to his shoulder, repeating the same for this one. A kiss, soft and lingering, before you pulled your head up and finally leaned it against his side.

"I think they're pretty."

There wasn't any reason you'd said it. Just that you'd felt it. And the words came to you, so you gifted them. Leland was quiet for a few minutes. His jaw rested against your temple, both of your heads turned towards the tv, though neither of you were really watching.

Whether he was insecure of them, or if they were still tender, or if they reminded him of the past, or, hell, all of it- they didn't change the way you saw him. Didn't change the way you loved him. You were with him to be with him, every part of him that you could manage to get a hold of. It was okay that he kept some things locked away.

You didn't understand, but you knew why. It was hard. Too difficult for him to remain cheerful when he thought about it. Too difficult to be perfect. Too difficult to feel like he was doing the right thing.

"I know you're hurt."

You couldn't stop yourself.

"I know I'm not ever gonna understand like you do. I know we're always gonna be distant. I know you don't like thinking about it."

But...

"I still love you. It was in the past. And I love you for your past, Lee. And I love you for our future, too. And- I love you right now, in the present."

He stayed quiet, though he leaned against your head a little more, his arm bringing you a bit closer.

"I think they're handsome. And... they're you, so I love them. I love every part of you. Even the scary parts, or the sad parts, or the parts you think are ugly. I love all of you."

At last, you looked up at him, just as he brought a hand to his cheek, wiping away a stray tear. His lip trembled as he looked down at you, but they trembled into a smile, a sad one, like a kicked puppy, but a smile nonetheless. You raised a hand too, cupping his jaw and brushing your thumb under his eye, which pulled a broken chuckle from him, and he sniffled, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

"Please, don't be," he replied, his voice cracking as he leaned into your palm, fighting to hold back. You scooted back, and he followed you, laying his head against your shoulder, a soft whine escaping him as he cried.

"I'm always gonna be here. I'm not gonna run. Not gonna leave you for your past. I- I just love you, Leland." Your arms wrapped around his neck as you held him close, resting your chin on his head as he cried, and you gently hushed him, doing your best to reassure.

He didn't often cry. Not to you. Sometimes, on his own time, or when you were pretending to be asleep, you could hear him. But he didn't want to push any of his weight onto you. Didn't want to burden you.

"I can shoulder some of it, y'know. Just cause you can lift a lot of weight doesn't mean you need to do it alone," you hummed, your words lighthearted despite being completely genuine. "I'm right here. I'm here to do it together. Here to be here- here to be yours."

You didn't expect a reply, but he gave one, weak and pained, snagging on his tears, an "I love you," short but sweet. You hugged him closer, leaning down to kiss another scar on the top of his back, and he didn't ask you not to, he didn't flinch, he just let it happen.

"You're perfect, Lee. Scars and all."

#adapting to leland mckinney #leland mckinney #leland mckinney x reader #leland mckinney angst #leland mckinney fluff #leland mckinney x reader angst #leland mckinney x reader fluff #tcm #tcm game #tcm game fluff #tcm game angst

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