#i wish i could just. gauge her feelings without ruining the friendship

[mrpenguinpants]

Spider’s Thread [Reverse AU]

Possessive Red Xiao x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Commissioned for: @profoundwitchsalad

Art Credit: @ruoyeahs

Warning: Unhealthy relationships.

Prompt:

“You’ve ruined my life because I have a warped idea of what love is and I can’t live without you. But now you’re trying to leave me and I won’t allow that. You left me alive. You have a duty to live for me and by me. I’m not letting you go.”

---

Xiao Semi Series

[ Friendship ] [ Falling in Love ] [ Cuddles ] [ Protective ] [ Affection ] [ Jealously ] [ Opposites Attract ] [ String Of Fate (Soulmate) ] [ Fainting ]

Link to original posts:  [Red! Xiao.] [Reverse AU]

[Masterlist]

Alatus was once told a story by his Master. A sinner who falls into hell is rewarded for his only good deed, choosing not to kill a spider. As his reward, a thread is lowered down for him to climb out of Hell. In the end, the sinner remains in Hell because he kicks aside others and the thread breaks. Alatus doesn't remember why his Master told him this story but he still empathizes with the sinner. He would have done the same or asked for this 'saviour' to extend their hand down instead. That way he could pull them down.

"Xiao? Are you okay?"

He slowly opens his jade eyes to see you hunch over, peering down above him, eyebrows furrowed together in concern as you reach down and softly tap his temple. He allows you to take a moment to do whatever you want with his face before he reaches up to grasp at your wrist gently, holding back on his want to rub circles into your skin. His reminiscing can wait for now.

"What is it?" he asks curtly, sitting up and resting his elbow on his raised knee. You pout at his curt tone but shrug it off as you take a seat next to him and lean your shoulder against his. You dig into your bag and pull out slips of commission papers and hand it over to him to read through what needed to be done today. A few Hilichurl camps needed to be taken care of, sabotaging a slime balloon, all tasks that seem mundane to someone who fought in a war. As he's preoccupied, you take a moment to look at Xiao's face. He's just the slightest bit unnerved whenever you do this because you always seem to know what's bothering someone.

"Were you dreaming of her again?" you ask quietly. The silence is a good enough answer but you nod understandingly. You never knew his Master personally but you did fight a long strenuous battle against her. From one look you could tell she was a manipulative and cruel woman. While it may not be very kind to say, you were glad that with her passing, Xiao would be free from her physically. But mentally...there were still some things to work out. But Xiao was a very reclusive person, especially with his emotions, so pushing him any further would only make him irritated and closed off.

"Venti and Zhongli are joining our party for a bit if that’s alright. They'll help out a lot with our commissions and travelling. I like Liyue a lot but climbing mountains stresses my shoulders out," you laugh as you change the subject to something less depressing. Standing up as you dust your clothes off before turning to Xiao and holding your hand out for him to take. He stares at it hard for a few moments before huffing and reaching over to clasp your hands together.

It has been so frustratingly peaceful since the war ended. He's not used to it and he can still feel the lick of cutting winds and the heavy pressure of rocks against his body when he sees the bard and funeral parlor consultant just on the horizon. If it were up to him, he wouldn't play nice with these two Archons but they're important to you so he bites his tongue until he tastes blood. He knows the Archons do the same. As soon as the two of them spot you both, Venti is already rushing and tackling you to the ground in his excitement.

"Traveler! I haven't seen you in ages. You need to come and visit Mondstadt more," Venti cried into your shoulder as you awkwardly patted him on his back. Always with the dramatics but you cared about Venti all the same. Xiao scoffed before flicking his jade eyes to meet gold as Zhongli stared down at him cautiously. Since the war ended, everyone seemed to have this warped idea that Alatus had some vendetta against the Gods and Celestia but he was fighting because he was told to.

"Xiao. It's good to see you again," Zhongli said to him. Xiao just nodded in acknowledgement. Even with this new mortal form, Morax never bothered to change his eyes. His gaze alone held the weight of the mountains he had thrown. If Xiao hadn’t been under one of them before, he might have crumbled under the pressure.

"Alright alright, Venti. I promise I'll drop by sometime this month but we still have commissions to do!" you laugh as you haul the bard onto his feet and swat his cape down from the speckles of dirt. He grins cheekily at you, linking pinkies with you to seal your promise, before suddenly lighting up as if he just remembered something.

"Actually! Before we start anything, I need to speak to Mr. Zhongli and Xiao. Super important archon things, you know?" Venti nodded to himself as the two mentioned people stared at him with varying levels of confusion. But Venti just waved their worries off and linked his arms with both men as he dragged them off to a more secluded corner with a surprising amount of strength, “We’ll be right back!”

"Do what you need to do but don't take too long," you called after the trio as you trailed off to the side, messing with your bag of commission papers and gear. Xiao hated that. He knows that these two Archons are your...friends.. but shouldn't you be a bit more cautious? Just because they have mortal forms doesn’t make them human, it doesn’t make him human either.

"Hey, there's no need to look so scary. There really is something important I wanted to talk to the two of you about," Venti speaks up as soon as you're out of earshot. It still gives Xiao whiplash whenever he drops the persona and switches back to Barbatos. "Since Morax is the only Archon I trust with this information and, while I don't trust you one bit, you're the one that's with her all the time you should also know. She's ascending to Celestia."

Barbatos gauges both of their reactions. Morax seems visibly surprised, his eyes slightly widened a fraction, while Xiao has no idea what that means. His Master didn’t exactly give him a history lesson on Celestia or Archons, just pointed to who was his enemy and dealt punishments when he failed.

"And what the hell does that mean?" Xiao asks as he crosses his arms. Venti appears for a second as the bard pouts before continuing.

"It's like I said. A mortal who performs great, heroic feats can ascend to Celestia and achieve godhood. Where they will watch over their people from above. I've only seen this once before so it took me a while to recognize the signs. But 1000 years ago, I helped a woman named Vennessa with her ascension and with the traveler's recent actions with winning the war. Well, you don't need me to explain the rest," Barbatos finishes. Zhongli simply hums as he cups his chin and absorbs what's just been heard. He doesn’t seem troubled by the news at all.

"Have you told her about this?" Zhongli questions as he looks towards the direction that you left. Venti shakes his head. “That would mean that she would vanish from this world."

“I know she loves this world. Whether she wishes to ascend or not isn’t my choice but I want her to continue her travels with that beloved smile on her face. But if she does choose to ascend, she will need our help," Venti stares at the two of them in a mix of pride, sadness, and determination. "Can I count on you two for your help?"

It's a complete white noise in Xiao's ears as his surroundings fade out. He thinks he can see Zhongli nod to Venti wishes, the ever calm smile on his face to match the cheery grin on Venti’s. What, now you want to become a God? Leave this world behind? That’s not funny. You made him give up everything. While in your eyes, your blinded hero syndrome, you think you've liberated him from a soulless conquest but he still has nothing. You still took everything away from him and your only compensation was to have him by your side until he left himself. But now you want to leave without a warning? That’s not fair. You don’t get to take back what you owe. He won't allow you to leave him behind.

“Did something happen? Did Venti say something unnecessary again?” you ask out of the blue. Zhongli and Venti had returned to their respective regions once your commissions were all finished. Since the three of them disappeared to talk Archon business, Xiao had seemed even more tense and aloof than usual. As if he was out of it? You knew that everyone was still suspicious of Xiao and they were angsty to leave you alone with him, but you knew Xiao would never do anything to hurt you. When he doesn't answer, you slowly reach over and you subtly nudge his head up onto your lap and look at him curiously. Before reaching down and cupping his cheek. He leans into your touch before turning his face into your palm and leaving a soft kiss. It makes you giggle at the ticklish feeling as you look at him so softly. It annoys him.

"You were never connected to the war and yet you fought against us anyways. Even when I killed so many people, why did you choose to spare me?" he asked as you blinked at him before giving it some serious thought. He went on a rampage and almost destroyed the world. It was fun. He doesn't have any regrets at all because he hated humanity. His own Master was human after all. But then you appeared and stopped him. A random outsider that wanted to play the hero. He thought it was cute. Perhaps he had underestimated the lengths someone would go to to save the world they loved but when he fell defeated at your feet. He said that this wouldn't change a single thing. He would still scorn humanity and what they did to him. He was so sure he would die there but you chose to extend your hand down to him instead despite what your companions felt. Even when the war ended and he had nowhere else to go, you offered him to travel with you. Nothing changed about his mentality, every person that chose to talk to him was quickly scared away with piercing eyes. Every conversation started would end in silence. Every touch would be met by the tip of his spear. But you would link your hands together with his and smile brightly, and he would always end up forgetting his trauma for a moment. You’ve... become precious to him.

"I love this world and everyone in it. You are a part of that world even if you tried to destroy it. It...didn't seem fair to leave you behind when you've suffered just as much," you finish but it only seemed to spark a wave of deep anger inside of Xiao. He quickly lurched up, almost knocking your forehead with his, before grabbing the scruff of your shirt collar and yanking you forward.

"Cut it out with that "love of everything" crap. It's revolting. So you're saying the people I killed weren't worth avenging? Do you think I'm so weak that I need protection? It's one thing to try and please everyone but at least have some awareness would you?" he snarled as he pushed you to the ground. He knew he was being harsh on you and you had every right to walk out and abandon him but you didn't. Of course, you wouldn't. You needed him as much as he needed you. You just reached over and tenderly reached your hand and placed it next to his. Damn it, why is he always the one stuck worrying about you.

"Then you want to protect me, right? Then don't break your promise. You left me alive which means you have a duty to live for me," he takes your hand in his and squeezes hard. Digging his nails into your own until crescents appear and tiny specks of blood appear so you know he's serious. He doesn't care how you interpret his words, just so long as you never leave him.

"Don't die on me, Hero."

It's been a few hours since the conversation so it's pitch black outside but Xiao was never one to sleep. Even if he could, his mind is too loud to fall asleep too. He's startled when you melt against him fully asleep. Honey smooth as you curl up to his warmth and cling to him like moss to a rock. He can feel his cheeks start to flush as his heart begins to pound against his chest. He can't breathe as his world is filtered through each beat that drums against his ears. He's not sure if there's actually something wrong with him or if it's just been a while since someone got so close and his instincts haven't left.

He's just realized it. He's feeling pain. The feeling in his chest is black but he can't claw it away. It's strange in a way that he can't explain it, that he's never felt before, that he's never felt the need to experience. His life had been warped by battle and a constant push to submit to his Master. They are all things he knows but the gentle words that come from your mouth, the bright eyes that hold the world, the horrible ice-hot feeling inside of him is so foreign yet too easy. He doesn't like it.

It makes him feel...clean in a way. Enlightened perhaps? His Master is long gone and it's like you said. He's free now. Free to make his own decisions and live his life how he wants to. He carefully turns over so as to not startle you away as he really looks at you. You look so peaceful in his arms, eyelids shut without worry, face slack without nightmares, breathing so softly against him. If you weren't so close to him that he couldn't feel the rise of your chest, he wonders if he would think you were dead. He stares at the lock of hair swaying back and forth with each breath like a starved man. The strange feeling doesn't stop. He hates it. It's everything that goes against him and what he knows and everything he should want. He's supposed to be the villain in your story, he should kill you right now-

"Xiao..." he hears you mumble beside him as you lean further into his arm. Damn it. How low is he going to go?

“What are you thinking about now? You just need to think about me. Don’t think about anything else...but me” Xiao sighs before he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into him until you're snug against his chest. Close to him, where he can touch you, where you belong. Not with Morax or Barbatos. Not with humans but beside him. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his head into your hair and he stares off into the distance. The feeling never leaves him for the remainder of the night.

"Ah! There you are. I was running around crazy looking for you," he turns his hair to see your flushed form pulling yourself up onto the mountain cliff, "When I woke up I couldn’t find you anywhere! You gave me a scare there."

He hates you. He hates you.

Words of his previous master ring in his ears, almost as if her very soul is wrapping around him as she whispers in his ear how weak he is. Ones with power that refuse to take what they want because they rather live in the comfort of nothing. Be greedier, take what belongs to you.

"Xiao?" you say as his piercing eyes stare directly through you. His Master always told him that she loved him. Even if he hated her he still clung to that false love. Of being wanted. Isn't love for a single person vile? Would feeling such emotions for one person instead of "everyone" bring you down to reality? It's not fair that you've crawled your way into his heart while you walk along in bliss. Now that he thinks about it. It was so simple. He just needs to monopolize your thoughts and love. This time it won't be as friends.

"I love you."

He'll pull you down to where he is. You extended your hand down to hell so it's your fault. He'll drag you down kicking and screaming if he has to. You left him alive. You have to live for him and by him. He's not letting go.

Reblogged for extra notes

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[littledrummeraussie]

It’s still the 20th in my timezone so I wanted to give my request a try: 😍 - it’s so cliche but I’d like to read smth. With being roommates with Ashton (maybe the reader also works in the music industry like his real roommate) and the reader slowly realises that they are in love with him.

1. Ashton overstimulating youu🤤🍭 but like not as a punishment more as a “exploring” and like al the praise he would give uuuu🤤🔥 

2. Ash using a shower head on you?🔥🔥🔥 or maybe he holds ur legs open with his own legs and uses a vibrator to overstimulate you🤤🤤🤤🔥 

3. @ashtondaddy90  Congratulations! You deserve all the followers you got. Your fanfic are all amazing 🍭 with dom! Ashton

When I asked where should we go next with the 1K Celebration prompts Blanca @notinthesameguey simply said that we should combine them. So this is entierly her fault. Thank you Blanca.

I didn’t exactly follow the prompts, but I hope you will still enjoy Ashton and his roommate having feelings for each other, resolving the tension with some naughty sex in the end.

1K celebration masterlist

- - - - -

“Rise and shine!”

“Fuck off,” you laughed into your pillow, burrowing under the blankets as Ashton opened the curtains in your bedroom. “It’s too early for your bullshit.”

“It’s 9 AM and you’ve already missed breakfast,” he climbed over your bed, tugging the sheets down before taking the pillow out of your hands. “No pillow fights, you know I’m right.”

“Didn’t plan on it,” you chuckled and Ashton lovingly rolled his eyes, already knowing that you definitely thought about hitting him with your pillow.

“Coffee’s waiting for you downstairs,” he leaned over and combed the hair back from your face before kissing your cheek. “I need to run some errands, do you need anything?”

“5 more minutes of sleep,” you closed your eyes, giving a light push to his shoulder to give you more space.

“You’re unbelievable,” he huffed with a laugh before scooting off the bed. “Why do I even let you live here?”

“Because I pay rent, not like Calum,” you gave him a sleepy wink, and Ashton laughed again, clicking his tongue.

“True. Alright, call me if you need anything.”

“A new roommate!”

*

It all happened after your previous roommate got a boyfriend for herself and you quickly needed to find a place when they’ve decided to move out and into their new shared home. Ashton’s offer came in the form of a surprise call while you were packing up your stuff. The two of you previously worked on a few small projects and he told you that he had a spare room you could use as long as you needed it. He even helped you transport all your things across town and made you feel right at home in his own house.

You’ve spent the evening catching up on the last few months as you ate takeout and drank cool ciders, setting some ground rules for your new living conditions. Ashton pressed a kiss on the top of your head before he went to bed, making your face heat up. You’ve told yourself that the feeling will pass; after all it was just a friendly gesture from him – he was your new roommate, nothing more.

The first few weeks were spent working out how the two of you could actually live together without being in each other’s space all the time, but you both found that you didn’t mind the other’s presence while you were working. It was way much simpler than you’ve thought it would be, and by the next month you were already working on another project together in your spare time. You’ve felt a strange domestic bliss settle over the two of you as you’ve cooked dinner and washed the dishes, talking about ideas while you ran errands or when you’ve watched TV before bedtime. Ashton seemed like the perfect boyfriend material and you needed to tell yourself to keep your thoughts PG when it came to him. You didn’t want to wake up one morning to awkward conversations about your night activities.

This thought lasted until you started to realize how comfortable the two of you became with each other. Ashton didn’t mind taking off his shirt during the day if it got too hot for him, and most mornings you’ve found him in the kitchen only in his boxers, tan skin and muscles all on display as he made coffee. His smile was always bright and flirty, and on many occasions you felt your panties slightly sticking to your skin by the time you’ve finished your breakfast. He let you borrow his hoodies, still warm from his body with his scent lingering on the fabric, and you felt dizzy whenever you’ve thought about burying your nose in his neck just to really feel him. You slowly started to realize that you had it bad for Ashton – and that you couldn’t help yourself, even if you’ve tried your hardest.

*

It happened during one of those nights when Ash was out with the guys and you spent the majority of your time alone, sipping on a glass of wine and enjoying a hot bath. You were a bit tipsy as you found your way back to your room, ready to turn in for the night and have a long sleep before he woke you up again at the crack of dawn. As you passed Ashton’s bedroom you stopped – the door was left ajar and you peeked inside with a giggle. You’ve been in there plenty of times before, but there was something exciting about looking inside while he wasn’t there. You caught sight of a discarded black shirt on the floor and you had a feeling Ashton kicked it under the bed in a hurry as he was getting ready.

A blush crawled up your neck at the thought of stealing it, and before you knew it you slipped inside, reaching down and bringing the shirt up to your nose, inhaling his citrusy scent that mixed with the smell of sweat and the fabric softener he used. You hugged it to your chest as you made your way back to your room, locking the door before letting the towel fall on the floor, and in seconds you pulled the shirt over your head, pretending it was an actual hug from Ashton. You lay back against the pillows as you buried your nose in the collar of the shirt, a small moan leaving your lips as you clenched your thighs together, a familiar throbbing taking over you. God, you wanted him so bad.

Your nipples hardened under the fabric as you thought about all those times he ran around the house only in his sweatpants, shirt forgotten next to his drum kit after practice, water drops clinging to his skin before running down on his back, soaking the towel riding low on his hips. A hand slipped between your thighs, fingertips teasing your slit as you thought about Ashton’s fingers drumming on the counter or brushing a lock of hair behind your ear, his touch always soft and careful, and more than anything you wished you could feel that touch on your skin right now. You imagined what those long fingers could do to you, all the places they could reach to make you see stars, and you threw your head back as you slowly eased a finger inside.

In your fantasy hazel eyes stared up at you as Ashton slowly moved his finger in and out, a grin pulling at his full lips as he told you how beautiful you looked. Before you knew it a second finger joined the first to stretch you, and you whined as you thought about Ashton doing the same to you, preparing you for his cock. Your other hand slipped down to rub your clit, pretending it was his lips and tongue chasing you towards your pleasure. You let your sounds spill out of you, moans and whines mixed with words begging for something more as you let your fingers bring you to your next orgasm, already working towards the third, not caring about how sensitive you were.

*

What you didn’t know was how the door opened downstairs, Ashton quietly locking it, not wanting to wake you as he figured you’ve already gone to bed. He toed off his shoes and made his way up the stairs, but stopped when he heard moans from behind your door. Ashton held his breath as he listened to the sounds, face hot and cock stirring in his pants as he realized what you were doing. He wished your door was open just a crack.

Maybe he should have been ashamed as he let his fingers curl around the hard-on straining against his jeans but he couldn’t help himself. He’s been doing his best to keep you out of those kinds of thoughts, even though the final image crossing his mind before coming was always one of you. Ashton didn’t want to ruin your friendship and your current living arrangements, but he felt like you’ve put a spell on him all those years ago when you two started working together. He wished that he could figure you out, to find out if the thoughts and feelings he had towards you would be reciprocated if he ever had the courage to just come clean about them.

And God knows he tried to gauge your reaction after the first few weeks you’ve spent together as roommates. There was a reason he forgot to put on clothes in the morning, pattering around the kitchen only in his boxers as you came down for coffee. He was always careful with your conversations, using certain words and themes that would tell him if you would be open for something more between the two of you. Ashton felt a spark of hope whenever he caught you in one of his shirts or hoodies, or those times you fell asleep with your head in his lap – there was something in the air, he was sure about that. You were way too comfortable with each other just to be friends. He just needed to be sure it wasn’t just unresolved sexual tension, but maybe something deeper.

His pants were already hanging open, rubbing his cock through his boxers as he listened to your moans and whimpers, tightening his fist around himself every time he heard you riding out your next orgasm. He was rock hard and leaking precum, soaking the fabric of his boxers as he quickened his pace, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip to keep his own sounds at bay. This was the first time Ashton really let himself think about you like that – naked and writhing on your bed, fingers curling around his biceps or into his hair as he kissed and sucked your neck, leaving his marks on your skin as he took you hard and fast. He wished he could be the one drawing those sounds out of you, making your thighs shake and your body tremble as he made you come again and again.

A high-pitched moan echoed around the house and it took only a few more strokes for Ashton to reach his own orgasm, his sounds muffled by a hand over his mouth. With his back against the wall he gave himself a few seconds to catch his breath before scrambling back to his room. His face felt hot, hair sticking to his forehead as he shrugged off his shirt and jeans, his boxers a mess from his pleasure. He wiped himself before throwing his clothes into the hamper, crawling under his sheets as he tried to wrap his mind around what just happened. Ashton was ready to feel shame, to feel like he had violated your privacy which was one of the ground rules between the two of you – but he only felt the wild thumping of his heart and the pleasure still buzzing through him.

It might have been the first time he heard you through the walls – but it wasn’t the last.

*

From that point on it felt like a game that none of you wanted to really acknowledge you were playing. Some days it was you wearing only a shirt and a short with no underwear on as you’ve made breakfast, wanting to know if the sight would make Ashton finally tick. Other times it was him leaving the bathroom door open just a crack as he took a shower in the morning, his voice dangerously close to a moan while humming to himself. It was flirty remarks with double meanings, sentences cut short as they would give away too much, and touches that lingered on too long on knees and shoulders. It was Ashton leaving his shirts all over the place that you would pick up later and steal to sleep in them, always making sure to put them in the hamper before he caught you. Whenever you thought he was already asleep you’ve let your mind and hands wander, not knowing how he listened to your pleasure as he tried his hardest not to go over to your room and take you right then and there. Both of you wanted the same thing – you were just scared to take the necessary steps, not wanting to face the possibility that maybe you have misunderstood something.

*

Ashton’s been acting strange for weeks, and you started to feel like you may have done something that made him close himself in his office, spending hours on his phone and leaving the house for long periods of time. Then another thought crossed your mind, one that made you want to move out of the house immediately. If Ashton found someone for himself then you didn’t want things to be awkward for any of you – you’ve already spent a good chunk of your year living with him, maybe it was time to finally find your next home somewhere else where you wouldn’t be a third wheel. Again.

But before you could approach him with the question you were dragged away for a quick road trip by your friends, and at least for two days you were able to forget about your feelings and thoughts that all circled around him. The house seemed dark and empty when they’ve dropped you off at home, and you almost asked your girls to let you crash at one of their places as you were sure Ashton was out and most definitely with his mysterious new girlfriend, but they’ve already left the scene, making you look for your keys to enter the house.

What you didn’t expect was the lights turning on the moment you’ve stepped inside, familiar faces cheering and shouting ‘happy birthday’ at you as Ashton tackled you from his place next to the door, hugging you as he bellowed ‘surprise!’, making the both of you giggle. You quickly found out that he’s been organizing your party for weeks now, going out of his way to make it perfect, calling up all of your friends and looking for volunteers to help him get you out of the house until everything was prepared. By the time your road trip team arrived back to the house you were already changed out of your travel clothes, sipping on a glass of champagne and hugging Ashton, thanking him again and again for the amazing surprise.

His smile was wide, eyes sparkling as he pulled you to his chest to dance with him, and for a moment you’ve wished the two of you would be alone so you could kiss him senseless, properly thanking him for all the work he has done. You let your head rest on his shoulder, getting lost in his scent and how he held you, and he pressed a kiss on your temple before announcing that it was time for some birthday cake. You ended up with frosting all over your face, smearing some of it on Ashton and Calum’s cheek before continuing the party which lasted well past midnight.

Ashton wrapped his arm around your waist as he helped you upstairs, both of your tipsy giggles echoing around the house. Most of your friends have already left, but a few were passed out on the couch and fast asleep in the armchairs. He made sure you were put into bed safe and sound, wishing you a happy birthday once again as he closed the door behind himself. Ash stopped before going to his room, thinking about how he wanted to kiss you goodnight, how he wanted to press his lips against yours as one last present for your special day. He shook his head, telling himself that he needed to be sober before making decisions like this, and went to his room to sleep of his drunken haze – confessions can wait a few more hours.

*

Your eyes opened as you felt the mattress dip next to you, expecting to see Ashton with a cup of coffee, but only finding one of your guy friends asking if you wanted him to stick around and help you clean up after yesterday’s birthday party. You gave him a smile, telling him that he can definitely go home; you and Ashton will deal with the rest once you have woken up. He gave you a hug before leaving your room and in a minute you’ve heard the front door closing, signalling his departure.

You peeled yourself out of bed, throwing on an oversized shirt as you made your way downstairs, ready to see what needed to be done. The first step was definitely coffee, and as you waited for it you started to clean up the plastic cups and plates, collecting and throwing them into a bag. A song from last night got stuck in your head, something you have danced to with Ashton, and you bit your lip as you thought of his warm body wrapped up with yours. You hummed to yourself as you reached for two mugs, deciding that you will be the one bringing coffee for Ashton this morning – and who knows, maybe he will invite you to join him in his bed.

“What, is he gone already?”

Ashton’s gruff voice took you by surprise, and you spun around to face him, unsure of what he’s referring to. He was leaning against the wall, hair sleep mussed and arms crossed over his chest, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked you over.

“I don’t follow,” you shook your head, suddenly feeling small under his stare, and he just huffed.

“Right, cause Greg didn’t just leave your room this morning,” he rolled his eyes, voice full of venom as he spit the name out. “Stop playing around.”

“Well, if you need to know, then yes,” you crossed your arms as well, mirroring him. “He did come in before he left. What, am I not allowed to have friends over, especially ones you have invited? And anyway, are you spying on me?”

“Guess you got what you’ve craved? Did he finally fuck you?” he took a step forward, now towering above you. “I remember you telling me you had a crush on him.”

“Geez, Ash, what is up with you?” you looked at him in disbelief. “That was years ago, why would you bring that up now? And God no! No, he just came to ask if he could help me clean up.”

“Well, then where is he?” he quirked an eyebrow. “Doesn’t seem like he’s into the whole housework thing.”

“I’ve told him we can clean up just fine. You and I. Didn’t want him to get under our feet.”

“Yes, but did he get under something else?” Ashton’s fingers curled into the hem of your shirt, eyes on fire as he tugged you closer. “Maybe he did clean you up…”

“Okay, stop that right now,” you pushed Ashton away, annoyed with his nonsense. “I don’t know what kind of weird stuff you’re talking about or why is this sudden interest in my sex life, and definitely don’t understand this… possessive jealous act. Coffee’s on the counter. Find me when you’ve cooled down.”

You’ve stepped around Ashton, ready to go back upstairs and curl up in your room, trying to make sense of his unexpected mood swings and strange words but you were suddenly pulled back by your shirt and before you knew it you were pushed up against the wall, Ashton pinning you there with his body.

“Stop,” he breathed heavily, fingers curling around your wrists before pulling them above your head. “You stay right here.”

“Or what?” you tilted your head up, looking into his eyes. “You revoke my roommate card?”

“No, I wouldn’t do that,” he shook his head before quickly licking his lips. “But I might make you pay your rent in a different way…”

“Fuck it, I’m done with this,” you huffed as you tugged your hands free from his grasp just to curl your fingers around his jaw, pulling him close and crashing your lips together.

Ashton moaned in your mouth, arms sliding around your waist to pull you closer to him, hands resting on the top of your ass. After months of letting the tension build between the two of you it finally broke, and you let yourself curl into Ashton’s embrace as his tongue licked against your lips, pushing it in to kiss you deeper. You were up on your tiptoes as your hands slid down to his shoulders and over his bare chest, tickling his sides before settling on the sweatpants riding low on his hips, fingertips pushing under the fabric. He chuckled against your lips before taking your wrists again and pulling them back between your bodies.

“Cute,” his tone was playful, voice just above a whisper. “But I have other ideas.”

Before you could ask him what he meant Ashton has already turned you around, pushing you up against the wall again, his body melting against your back. A moan slipped out of you as you felt his hardening cock on your ass, his lips skimming on the back of your neck, teeth lightly nibbling on your skin. He pressed a kiss against your ear, his hot breath making you shiver.

“You sound even more beautiful like this. Not muffled by doors and walls and the hallway.”

“Ash–” his name got stuck in your throat when you felt your skin turn hot as you realized what he was talking about. “Fuck!”

“You want me to do that? Fuck you like I’ve wanted to for months?” he rutted his cock against your ass, and you’ve tried to push back to feel more of him.

“Yes! Please Ashton, just… please… wanted you for so long,” you practically begged him to take you right then and there, and you heard him groan against your neck.

One of his hands slid up your chest to cup your breast over your shirt while the other stroked over your inner thigh, palm curling against your heat. Your panties were already soaked and Ashton let out a satisfied hum as he pushed his fingers under the fabric, drawing slow, soft circles around your clit.

“Do your fingers feel this good?” he nipped at your ear, and you shook your head while trying to move your hips to get more friction. “You sure seemed to like them… sometimes it felt like you’ve been fucking yourself for hours…”

“Been thinking about you… how your fingers would feel inside me…” you licked your lips, hands slipping against the wall as you moved back against him. “How you would feel inside me…”

“Why don’t we find out?” his hand tugged your panties to the side, middle finger running through your wet folds until it circled around your entrance, slowly pushing inside. “Better than your own?”

“I can take much more,” you let out a giggle which immediately turned into a moan as Ashton quickly pushed in another finger. “Fuck, that’s good.”

“Let’s see how much more you can take, pretty girl.”

His fingers started moving in and out of you, quickly finding that sweet spot inside you that made your legs shake and your breaths hitching. His name on your lips mixed with moans and whimpers and fucks as his thumb dragged against your clit, never missing a beat as he pleasured you. One of your hands reached for his, and he interlocked your fingers, holding you close to his body with both of your arms around your middle. Your head was thrown back against his chest, his lips kissing your forehead and murmuring praises as he worked you toward an orgasm.

“Wanna see you cum for me,” Ashton picked up the pace of his fingers and you felt the unmistakable clenching of your walls around them. “Show me how you look when you think of me, baby. Cum on my fingers like you’ve imagined.”

“Ashton, fuck! I’m close…” you whined against his neck, and you felt his thumb rub your clit even harder. “Ash–”

In that moment you’ve chocked on your next moan, your whole body trembling against his as pleasure filled you from head to the tip of your toes. His fingers didn’t let up their work as you clenched around them, making you see stars as another smaller shock ran through your body. You leaned against the wall to collect yourself, moaning as you felt Ashton move right behind you, his fingers still deep in your pussy, slowing down their pace but never pulling out.

“Sensitive…” you whimpered when he swiped his thumb over your swollen clit, your hand reaching for his between your legs to make him pull out.

“Oh no, I wasn’t done with you yet…” he pushed your hand back against the wall with his free one, still lightly stroking in and out of you.

“Fuck, I can’t…” you whined between moans, and he clicked his tongue before kissing your ear, hot words whispered against your skin.

“You seemed to like having multiple orgasms during your play times,” he tugged on your earlobe with his teeth before kissing your jaw. “So this is for all those times I’ve heard you getting off in your room and not being able to do anything about it.”

And with that his fingers picked up the pace again, rubbing and stroking and fucking you, not caring how sensitive you were from your previous orgasm. Your vision blurred, toes curling against the tiles as you felt the next rush of pleasure shaking your body, making Ashton push his cock even more against you while letting you ride out your climax on his fingers.

Your ears were ringing, breasts heaving as you’ve tried to catch your breath while Ashton slowly eased his fingers out of you, holding onto your hips to keep you upright. He pressed a kiss against your neck, tugging on the collar of the shirt to feel more of your skin, teeth lightly biting you, leaving the smallest of marks on your shoulder before he turned you around, making you lean back against the wall. You gave him the smallest of pouts and he chuckled, pressing his lips against yours, softly kissing you while your fingers curled into his hair at the nape of his neck, and his into the side of your panties, tugging them down your legs. Before you knew it he was already on his knees, pushing your shirt up to kiss your stomach, making his way down.

“You can’t be fucking serious…” you clutched at his hair as he pressed his lips lower, nose nudging at your bellybutton.

“Don’t say you didn’t think about me like this,” he looked up at you, hazel eyes sparking with mischief as he licked between your folds, tongue slowly swirling around your clit.

“More times than I could tell,” you tugged on his dark hair, not sure if you wanted him to stop or keep going.

Ashton hummed as he licked you again, fingers running down your thigh before his fingers curled around the back of your knee, pulling your leg over his shoulder. He dived back in, lips and tongue licking and sucking at your pussy, practically making out with it as you moaned and trashed above him. He switched between long strokes and teasing circles around your hole, lips closing around your clit as his fingers slipped back inside you. It was too much and not enough at the same time, and you pulled on his hair as he brought you to your third orgasm. You felt your thighs shake as he put your leg back on the floor, and he quickly stood up to wrap you in his arms, not wanting you to fall over.

“You’re killing me,” you panted against his neck as Ashton squeezed your hips, suddenly picking you up and making his way towards the living room.

“And I’m still not done with you. You’ve been a tease for months, it’s time to give you what you really deserve,” in seconds he pushed you down on the couch, climbing over you before crashing his lips against yours.

There was nothing slow or soft about his moves now, he was a man on a mission as he tugged off your shirt, lips closing around your nipple while he thumbed the other, making them harder and even more sensitive than before. You would have pressed your thighs together if he wasn’t between them, so instead you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer like that. A chuckle left his lips as he pulled back, kneeling up on the couch and looking over your body. Heat crawled up your neck under his gaze, your body on fire, your mind hazy, the only thing you were sure about was that you wanted Ashton right now.

He must have felt the same about you as he quickly got up to kick off his sweatpants, his cock hard and curling against his stomach as he climbed back over you, letting you wrap your hand around his length as he kissed you again. You moaned into each other’s mouths, clearly done with your teasing now, and just wanting to feel what it was like when you let your feelings take over. Ashton pulled your legs back around his waist, elbows resting next to your head as his fingers curled into your hair, knocking his forehead against yours. His eyes were dark and full of something you haven’t seen before, but you found that you wanted to see it again and again. You tilted your head up, brushing your lips against his while guiding his cock against your hole, sighing as he finally pushed in.

Ashton took you with one smooth thrust, his groans filling your ears as he felt your heat wrap around him. He rested his hips against yours only for a second before he started moving, lips latching onto your neck to suck a mark into your skin.

“Fuck, Ash, I won’t last…” you whimpered as his cock hit your sweet spot again and again, your fingers leaving small crescent marks on his biceps as you held onto him.

“Cum again, baby,” he pushed his lips against yours, hips quickly snapping into you. “Cum again and make me cum with you. Show me what I’ve been missing by not fucking you sooner.”

His words triggered your orgasm, your whines muffled against his shoulder as you shook under him, your walls clenching around his cock like you wanted him to stay in you forever. Ashton groaned as he pounded into you a few more times, then suddenly his body tensed above you, his cock buried deep inside your pussy as his cum filled you up. He pressed chaste kisses on your cheek and lips before pulling out of you and you whined at the loss of his body heat. He shushed you, his voice sweet as he told you he will be back in a second, and then you’ve lost sight of him.

You were pretty sure you have blacked out for some time from the intense orgasms you just had because the next thing you knew was Ashton in his sweatpants, a washcloth in his hand as he softly cleaned you up. He helped you back in your shirt, rubbing his nose against yours as he said something about how you have to be careful before standing up. You clearly didn’t listen to him because the next time he came back you were already lying on the floor, giggling about how clumsy you are. Ashton shook his head before kneeling down next to you, reaching for a pillow to put it under your head, and when he was done, he crawled over you, slowly resting his body against yours, his head on your breasts.

“This was… something…” you let your fingers run through his hair, and he nodded, burrowing closer to you.

“Y/N?” he slowly looked up at you, eyes back to their soft hazel colour, and you felt your heart beating just a little quicker than before.

“Yeah?” you bit your lip, suddenly unsure of what Ashton’s next words would be.

“I guess I do need to ask you to stop being my roommate,” he pushed himself up and over you, resting his weight on his arms next to your head.

“I– uhm… I mean, of course, it’s your house and…” you started babbling, but Ashton quickly shook his head, a smile pulling at his lips.

“No, God no!” he leaned forward to press his lips against yours, silencing you with a kiss. “Silly girl. No, I want you to move out of the guest bedroom and into mine. Can’t have you moaning my name across the hallway when you could do it in my bed instead.”

“Ashton Irwin, you’re the most terrible roommate ever,” you huffed out a laugh, your cheeks hot from your blush and his kiss. “You really want me to…”

“Yes. A 100% yes. I would have offered months ago, but I… guess I wasn’t sure about where we stood…” he confessed, knocking his forehead against yours while he rubbed your nose with his. “Didn’t want to ruin our friendship because I started to have feelings for you.”

“Better late than never, I guess,” you cupped his face in your palms, thumbs rubbing his cheeks lovingly. “Did you really get jealous of Greg?”

“God, he ticked me off, didn’t he?” he moaned, face heating up from the memory. “I saw him leaving your room, but didn’t remember seeing him going in, and then you were only wearing a shirt and those panties and I just… I had this thought last night how I want to finally kiss you and tell you how I feel, and then he was there and I’ve thought…”

“There’s only you, Ash,” now it was your turn to press your lips against his. “Don’t need anyone else when I have the best roommate/creative partner/body pillow/shirt supplier/chef/party planner/possible boyfriend all in one package.”

“Would definitely love to be the boyfriend,” he chuckled, fingers tangling into your hair.

“Guess I could upgrade my roommate membership to girlfriend too?” you quirked an eyebrow at him and Ashton started giggling, nuzzling close again.

“For you it’s entirely free, sweetheart.”

- - - - -

taglist.

@mymindwide @loveroflrh @sadistmichael @notinthesameguey @babylonashton @talkfastromance4 @dead-and-golden @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @karajaynetoday @ashtondaddy90 @myfavfanficsever @myloverboyash @suchalonelysunflower @sexgodashton @rebelwith0utacause @creampiecashton @irwinkitten @allthestarsandthemoon

#ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin blurb #fiction time #littledrummeraussie 1k celebration #asks: fiction edition #1K fic #afic: 1K celebration

[stevesnailbat]

hi! can i request 6 and 42 from the dialogue prompt list?

“you want to be with him, don’t you?” + “it’s okay, you didn’t know.”

summary: falling in love with a best friend can only end one of two ways, heartbreak or true love.

warnings: unrequited feelings? underage drinking

word count: 1.5K

Falling in love with a best friend ends in either one great happily ever after, or a lost friendship and broken hearts. In this case, it was a toss-up for Y/N whether she’d get her heart torn to shreds or if she’d end the summer with a new boyfriend. At this point, it seemed like her heart was bound to tear.

The summer had been full of surprises. From working at Starcourt, to Starcourt being ruined, realizing she had been falling in love with her best friend. It was hard to think about even confessing her feelings to Steve, honestly. They’d been best friends for their whole lives, she didn’t want to fuck anything up with a stupid confession. It was a stupid crush, she told herself. She’d get over it, she told herself.

But, she never did. She never stopped looking at him like he hung the moon, she never stopped feeling the need to be held by him forever. It was an unrequited love, that’s for sure. There was no way in hell that Steve would think about her in that way.

Moving on from a relationship that never really happened was tough, especially when the other party is still the best friend. She tried to push him away as much as she could without being suspicious. Really, it hurt that he was always so close, that he was always around to give her a hug or squeeze her shoulder. Each seemingly platonic touch would make her fall deeper into the pit of unshared feelings. Pushing Steve away was the only way she knew how to deal with her feelings.

Steve was clueless to the situation, but Robin wasn’t. She knew her best friends too well, she could immediately see that she was distancing herself from Steve. Robin brushed it off for most of the summer, but she couldn’t just sit and watch one of her best friends tear herself down over the detrimental crush.

It wasn’t until Steve started talking to another girl towards the end of the summer that Robin truly saw Y/N start to spiral. The girl was Julia Sterling, someone who she’d envied for years. Now, her envy had grown into hatred and her feelings for Steve were stronger than ever. The two weren’t exclusive, but Steve had been on a few dates and hookups with her.

Y/N knew she could never say how she felt to Steve’s face, she valued what they had too much. She kept a safe distance from him as if to shield herself from getting hurt, and tried to force herself to be happier for him.

Steve was still infamous for his small parties at his house, which were nearly every weekend. Him, Y/N and Robin used it as a coping mechanism, so they could forget about everything they’d gone through. This time was different, though. Along with the six or seven other people Steve usually invited was Julia Sterling, and she was practically on top of Steve all night.

Y/N clung to her lukewarm beers all night like they were the only things keeping her afloat in the middle of the ocean. She drank them quickly while watching Julia run her fingers through Steve’s hair like she should, while watching Julia peer up at Steve lovingly like she should. The alcohol flowing through her bloodstream was making it tolerable, up until she locked eyes with Steve for the first time all night.

He furrowed his brow when he saw Y/N’s face. She looked distraught and a little too drunk, a feeling of hurt radiated from her. There was something in her eyes that nearly broke Steve’s heart, but he wasn’t sure what it was. She broke her gaze from Steve’s and stood up from where she sat on the living room floor. It was too much to handle, she needed air.

Robin rushed out behind her onto the back patio, the sound of Y/N’s sniffles erupting as soon as she closed the sliding glass door behind her. Y/N didn’t really want to talk about what she was feeling, but she was exhausted with fighting it.

“Are you really that torn up about Julia Sterling being here?” Robin asked in a somewhat lighthearted tone, trying to ease into the conversation.

“You know of all people should know that it’s more than that, Rob.” Y/N snapped, sending a quick glare in her direction while crouching down to sit on the edge of the pool. “You don’t have to act dumb. I’ve seen that sympathetic look you give me every time Steve mentions her.”

“You really want to be with him, don’t you?” Robin asked in an empathetic tone while joining her on the concrete.

“I did—Well, I do. But, fuck, I don’t know why I do.” she whimpered, focusing on the pool instead of looking up to her friend. “He’s never even thought about me that way. Always called me his little sister, always acted like we were just the best of friends, nothing more.”

“You really don’t think he’s ever thought about you that way?” Robin implored.

“Probably not. He’s a lost cause at this point for me.” she confessed, finally looking up to Robin with watery eyes.

“Who’s a lost cause?” a voice came from behind them, Steve’s.

As much as they hated to admit it, Steve was a little too good at being ninja-like when it came to eavesdropping on them specifically. His eyes were filled with genuine concern as she locked eyes with him once more, showing her that he had absolutely no clue what she’d been feeling. Robin stood up from the edge of the pool and Steve took her place immediately, wanting to know what was wrong with her before he asked anything else.

“I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ve done my share of advice giving.” Robin lied, narrowing her eyes at Y/N as if to tell her to ‘just talk to him’.

“Are you feeling alright tonight?” Steve questioned, squeezing her shoulder in a comforting way.

“Yeah, I just needed some air.” she lied, choking down the tears as she faked a smile for his sake. “Go ahead inside, you have company in there. I’ll be in soon.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me who you were talking about.” Steve implored, nudging her shoulder lightly with his elbow. “You said he’s a lost cause for you. So, who’s the boy? I can beat him up for you if I need to.”

She was silent. It was like she could feel her throat closing down on itself, her breathing was nearly stopped. She opened her mouth to speak momentarily, but felt paralyzed by fear. There was no way she could admit it like that, not right now, not ever.

“Is it that bad? So bad you can’t even say his name?” Steve questioned, an innocent smirk quirking up on his lips.

“Oh yeah, it’s that bad.” she whispered, avoiding his gaze while staring into the pool. “It’s so bad that I can’t even look at him.”

It was the beer talking now, she didn’t mean to let that slip from her lips. But it did, and when it did, realization hit Steve like a ton of bricks. His heart felt like it was in his stomach as he looked over at her. She was suffering with the feeling so badly, but there was nothing he could do about it. Sure, he loved her. But, he didn’t think he would love her like that.

“Y/N, I’m—“

“It’s okay, you didn’t know. I’ll get over it.” she sighed bitterly, standing from the poolside while still avoiding his gaze.

“Can we talk about this?” he asked, scrambling to his feet to follow her as she walked towards the door once more.

She didn’t respond, only walked towards the house.

“Y/N, please. I want to talk about this because I never knew—“ he rambled, reaching for her arm before she whipped around to finally look up at him.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Steve. I know how you feel already, I kept this a secret for a reason. To spare myself the heartache, but it’s happened anyways.” she said weakly, breath hitching in her throat at the end of her thoughts. “I’m going to bed in the guest room. I’m sure you don’t want to share your room with me tonight, you and Julia can do that instead. Goodnight, Steve.”

She sounded disappointed, like she wished he would do something, anything else. She was fed up with dealing with her stupid unrequited crush, it was time to give it up. Steve watched her walk away with his jaw nearly unhinged as he tried to gather the right words to say, but they never came.

There was a dull ache in the middle of his chest as he watched her walk away, like a part of him had just been ripped from him with her exit. He wanted to talk about it, wanted to finally understand how she was feeling, wanted to gauge his own feelings for her with a conversation. Watching her walk away made him wonder: was it her that he wanted all along?

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @charmed-asylum @queenofthehairharrington @heart-eye-harrington @daddystevee @lemonypink @igotmadskills @a-magey

#steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things 1 #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #steve harrington angst #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things one shot #stranger things angst #stranger things fanfic #prompt requests

[nazyalenskyism]

Let’s Get Married 3

Let’s Get Married Part 3 (Let’s Get Married)

Summary: Guess who got married! A/N: PLEASE READ: From this point on, anything labeled as "THEN,"/"18 months ago" refers to the week during which Chapter 2 (I've Been So Far Gone Lately) is set during. Anything labeled as "NOW" or "18 months later" is set in the present day. Sorry for any confusion!

Ao3: Let's Get Married Part 3

18 months later (NOW):

David Kostyk came back from his break like always, with a mug of tea from his wife in one hand and a stack of files from Nikolai in the other, ready to dive into the documents for the day. The first few files were standard, he was signing off on others’ work, making sure everything was up to date and properly formatted but it was when he hit the fifth document that he found something amiss. He pushed his glasses up his nose, bending down to make sure that he read the file correctly. No, that couldn’t be. That would mean that--Oh no.

David picked up his receiver, punching in numbers he knew by heart, this was going to be anything but a quiet morning like he’d hoped. “Genya, you need to see this.”

                                                            ***

“Nikolai Lantsov!” he glanced up at the mention of his name, surprised at the sight before him. Genya marched into the room with Tolya and Tamar walking determinedly behind her while David trailed behind them, clutching a stack of papers in his hands. Nikolai glanced at his watch, it was only 11 AM, they didn’t have their daily meeting until 2 PM, that was odd.

He raised a brow, easing back in his chair, “can I help you?”

“What’s this?” Genya exclaimed without any preamble, grabbing a paper off the top of the stack in David’s hands and slapping it onto his desk.

“Paper, I assume, darling Genya.”

“I mean what’s on the paper,” she snapped, “it says you’re married.”

Nikolai paused, drawing the paper towards him, “you were at the wedding,” he glanced around, “you all were. In fact, you were the only people there.”

“You were supposed to get divorced,” Tolya interjected, “that was the plan.”

“Plans change.”

“Nikolai, you were supposed to be married for six months, a year at most.” Tamar frowned.

“It’s just been more beneficial than we’d originally thought.”

“What?” Genya asked, scowling at him.

“Well, we realized it would be better for our taxes, for one.” he ticked off a finger with each additional reason he gave. “People don’t ask for our numbers when we go out anymore and my parents and brother hate both of us so they leave us alone. One glare from Zoya and deals are signed in record time, I don’t have to suffer through terrible parties alone anymore, and Zoya has to be nice to me,” he furrowed his brow, “well sometimes. Actually not nicer but--”

“What are you going to do now?” David interrupted.

“What do you mean?”

Tamar spoke up, “you can’t keep this lie up forever, someone is going to find out, it’s amazing they haven’t already.”

“Yes,” Genya nodded, “what if you meet someone, and want to get married? What are you going to do then? Or what if someone asks you why you don’t live together or why your prenup with Zoya is basically giving her 50% anyways?”

“We’ve been too busy,” Nikolai said dismissively.

“Busy? She spends half her evenings hanging out at your apartment or with us. Even if that wasn’t the case, Nikolai, you always make time for important things.”

“It’s not important at the moment.” He understood their confusion, he had been surprised at first too when Zoya hadn’t asked him to call things off three seconds after they had officially gotten married and secured the company as his. In fact, she hadn’t brought it up at all. Not once in a year and a half and neither had he. It felt like they’d struck some sort of perfect balance, and the last thing he wanted was to destroy their peace. No, when Zoya wants to end this, I’ll agree, but until then I won't be the one to ruin this.

“It is important!” Genya looked as if she wanted to shake some sense into him, which was odd, usually only Zoya had that look on her face. Speaking of Zoya, it had been a minute since he’d spoken to her, not since he’d brought her coffee to her office this morning, all the way on the other side of the floor. He should send her a text about dinner tonight, he had found a fantastic restaurant whose specialty was her favourite dish and wanted to take her. He pulled his phone out of his waistcoat pocket, smiling as he typed a message he knew would make her roll her eyes, chuckling at her response.

“Hey!” Genya snapped her fingers in front of his face, startling him from his texting. “Nikolai, if you don’t think this is an important thing to do at the moment, what do you think it means that you like spending time with her, that you trust her with all your secrets? How you don’t care about what anyone else has to say about you, everyone but Zoya? The rare time she compliments you, you light up like a Christmas tree! Not only that but…” Genya trailed off, twisting her wedding band around her finger, glancing around at her friends for a reprieve, but they were all avoiding her imploring gaze.

“But?” Nikolai prompted. He could feel his ears burning, but he wouldn’t allow his friends to see how Genya’s words had impacted him.

“You know what,” she sighed. “Nikolai, you know why you don’t want to change things and it’s the same reason she doesn’t want to change things either. Both of you want this and there’s a reason why, a reason that would make you both a lot happier than you are now.”

Nikolai stood abruptly, he’d had enough. “As always, your advice is appreciated but unneeded. Now if you’ll excuse me I have an appointment and before that, as per the request of my friends,” he gestured to them, “I need to start filing for divorce.”

                                                               ***

18 months ago (THEN):

“I found something,” Nikolai whispered, sliding up behind Zoya and gently touching her arm before slipping a drink into her hand. In the ballroom behind them the party was in full swing but out here on the terrace overlooking the gardens there was barely a buzz. They’d moved outside because they hadn’t wanted their conversation to be overheard by someone at the party. If anyone found out what they were planning on doing they would be in big trouble, to say the least. She arched a brow, and took a sip of her drink and he took it as an indication to speak. “There’s a clause in the bylaws that states that someone other than the intended heir of the company can inherit it if they challenge the intended heir, get a majority of votes from the board, and are over thirty.”

“Nikolai, you’re nowhere near thirty, there’s no way you’re going to be able to stop Vasily from getting his greasy hands all over your company.”

He shot her a bemused look, “my company?”

“You know what I mean,” she snapped. “That can’t be all you found, keep talking.”

“Well,” he began slowly, “the only way we get around that is, there’s a clause that says you have to be thirty or married.” A deafening silence stretched out between them, both trying to gauge the others’ reaction. Zoya spoke first, surprisingly.

“So, when’s the wedding? What should I get you, cash or something off the registry?”

“Nazyalensky, I didn’t say that I was going to get married.”

“Come on,” she said, looking up at him, “this is your life’s goal. If you don’t secure the company now, then your brother or that old creep Aleksander will take what’s rightfully yours.” Her finger jabbed at his chest, her eyes alight with passion. If he didn’t know any better, he would think that she believed in him. “You are the only person who can and should be running it. It’s yours Lantsov, it always has been.”

Nikolai felt a kernel of warmth unfurling in his chest as Zoya whipped away from him and back towards the skyline, the faintest blush colouring the tops of her cheeks. Open admissions of friendship always made her ill. Nikolai drew in a breath, preparing to be eviscerated for what he was going to say next. “Would you?”

She squinted at him, “would I what?”

“Would you marry me? Hypothetically. If you were an eligible bachelorette in the city?” Zoya cut him a quick glare, “hypothetically, yes. Anyone would be stupid not to.”

“And do you consider yourself smart?” he said.

“Nikolai…” she faltered, “don’t.”

“Don’t what? It makes sense, doesn’t it? We already know each other, we don’t have to draw up an extravagant prenup, I’ll gladly give you half of what I have, we can get divorced a week after we get the company, and go on with life as usual.”

Zoya shook her head at him, “and what will people say when you and your ex-wife are working side by side every day, with no bad blood? And getting divorced a week later, that makes it so obvious that you only did it for the company.”

“Fine,” he said simply. “If you can tolerate me for a couple of months, we can stage some big fight and break things off. We’ll say that we were young and in love and made a stupid decision.”

Her hand went to the chain around her neck, rubbing the locket absently. “I don’t think this is a good idea Nikolai.”

“Nazyalensky,” he stepped closer to her, “we’re running out of time and I don’t think I have any other options. I wish there was another way but if this is the only way, I will do it, but I would rather it be with someone I trust. And hey, it’s only six months, then we’ll be back to how we always were.”

Nikolai waited for a minute, then two, then what felt like forever before she finally spoke. “Okay.” She turned towards him, “okay, but no big wedding. Just us, the officiant, Genya, David, Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, and my family. Just the ten of us.”

He took her hand, “what about all my friends?”

“What friends,” she scoffed.

Nikolai pouted, “harsh.”

“Honest.”

He laughed at that, pulling out the small box that had been sitting against his chest all night. He popped it open before flipping it towards her, cherishing the faint flicker of disbelief on her face as he slipped the ring onto her finger. He knew what she was thinking; it was huge and sparkly, the two things she liked most.

“You idiot,” she slapped his chest, “you knew about this already, why did you wait until now to tell me?”

“I wanted to have the ring ready,” he protested, admiring the excitement painted onto her exquisite features as she admired the glimmering ring in the moonlight. “I didn’t think you’d agree unless I had it.”

“You’re right, I was just feeling extreme amounts of pity towards you tonight, otherwise, even your desperation wouldn’t have been enough. ”

“Ruthless,” Nikolai smiled, “now, shall we tell the others?”

Zoya took his outstretched arm, “let’s.”

“Ah, ah.” Nikolai chided, “it would be a little obvious if we stepped out of the party to get engaged, no?”

“Ugh, fine,” she groaned, slipping the ring off her finger, and reluctantly placing it back in the box. “You’re right, it clashes with my outfit tonight anyways. But I’d like it back as soon as possible.”

“Let me finish putting a little something together. We should at least be able to have a little fun with it.”

“Alright,” she sighed, “but no public proposal.”

“No public proposal,” he agreed, “just us. Like always.”

                                                        ***

18 months later (NOW):

“What is it, Genya?” Zoya sighed, stepping around a tourist glued to the center of the sidewalk, her phone tucked between her shoulder and ear as she gripped the box of baklava against her chest. Nikolai always got peckish in the afternoon and the sweet was his favourite snack and if she’d learned anything in life it was that a well-fed Nikolai was a more productive Nikolai.

“Care to tell me why you’re still married?”

“Hm?” She eyed the window display of the boutique behind her, while waiting for the streetlight. Nikolai would love that sweater and the blue would bring out the gold in his eyes.

“Hey!” Genya snapped at her, “why didn’t you tell us that you’re still married?”

“Should I have?”

“Yes? Obviously yes!”

“Okay,” Zoya said, not seeing the issue, “so now you know.”

“You were supposed to get divorced a year ago, why are you still married?”

She sighed, it was so simple, how did no one else get it? “It was better for our taxes, people don’t ask for our numbers when we go out anymore, Nikolai’s family leaves us alone. It makes it easier to deal with all the stuff from when Liliyana--” she broke off, clearing her throat, “it makes business deals go smoother, we can bail each other out of stuff. It just makes things easier.”

“What if you meet someone and want to get married, or even date them? Or what if Nikolai does?” Zoya frowned, turning away from the boutique door she’d been about to open, crossing the street instead. She hadn’t thought about that before. Nikolai was a romantic, she’d seen it in action, and while he’d never been in a long-term relationship in the time she’d known him, he had been on dates where he’d gone all out. What if he was even slightly interested in someone and pushed aside the prospect of a relationship with them because he felt that he owed her something? She didn’t want that.

“I know. It’s just-- we’ve been busy.”

“That’s exactly what he said.”

“We’ll get around to it, we will.”

Genya seemed to pick up the weariness of her voice and simply said, “I know you will,” before hanging up.

Zoya slumped into her car, resting her forehead against the steering wheel. When did things get so complicated? He’d asked Zoya to help him because it was supposed to be uncomplicated when it was her. When had she let herself fall into this so badly that she genuinely questioned her ability to extract herself from it?

Her phone chimed and she saw that her last conversation with Nikolai had been deleted from their message history, the one where they’d been making dinner plans. Instead she saw a new message under their conversation from last night simply reading, “we need to talk. I’ll pick you up at 7.”

Zoya exhaled through her nose, punching out, “Okay.” in response before tossing her phone into the backseat. It was ridiculous to think that anything about this arrangement had ever been easy. The night that Nikolai’s parents had thrown them an engagement party had been proof enough of that.

#zoyalai fic #my writings #let's get married

[sunsetncamden]

An Idea for a Fic I'll Never Get Around to Writing:

Title: Fifty First Dates

Adrien finally decides to let go of his fantasy to be with Ladybug and decides to do something about the growing feelings he has for another girl, but he's uncertain how his confession will be received. Knowing how painful and embarrassing a face to face rejection can be, he decides to write her a note. Said note is confiscated during class before he can give it to her; Mme. Mendeleiev reads the note outloud: "I like you! Do you like me? Check yes or no."

Class erupts in laughter. Adrien is thoroughly embarrassed. Within a few hours all anyone can talk about at school is who Adrien's mystery crush might be. Speculation flies throughout the school as every single girl and quite a few guys hope that it's them. Alya is hellbent on figuring it out.

Marinette suggests the note was probably for Kagami, but Alya argues he was writing the note in class because he wanted to give it to someone present. Kagami's not in their class, besides they've been out on a date already.

He knows she likes him.

The single girls in their class are Chloe, Lila, Sabrina, Alix, and Marinette. Alya dismisses Chloe and Lila as the recipient because they obviously like Adrien and haven't been shy about letting him know "unlike some people" (sideways disapproving look at Marinette, who blushes), so a note to either of them to gauge their feelings would be unnecessary.

Alya thinks the note is for Marinette, who's at first near faint at the idea, but then self doubt prevents her from believing it. She says its obvious to everyone how she feels about Adrien, so there's no need to write a note to her. Adrien could just ask her out. Alya counters that when Adrien asked her point blank if she liked him after finding out her room is covered in pictures of him, she denied it, saying she only had them because she's an aspiring fashion designer. "Not one of my best monents," Marinette concedes. "Exactly," Alya agrees, "Adrien doesn't think you like him. Or at least that you didnt then, but its been several months since then, maybe he wants to find out if anything has changed." Marinette is still unsure.

Alya drags Marinette to Nino to get some answers. Nino's not giving any info up and chastises his gf for being so nosy instead of being supportive. "My bro's hurting, Dude. His confession got ruined. Have some compassion!"

Marinette knows all about ruined confessions and without thinking strides over to Adrien, who's sitting by himself. She tells him that she's sorry about what happened with the note, asking if he's okay. He nods, saying he appreciates her kindness as the guys have been mercilessly teasing him and the girls are even more pushy and flirty than ever. Worst off all he's embarrassed himself in front of his crush and is afraid he's ruined his chances. Marinette says she wishes there was something she could do.

Adrien brightens and says there is a way she can help. "Go out with me...on a date."

Marinette, of course, gets flustered and says the wrong thing. "I go? W-with you?" He nods. "I can't go with you. I mean, you cant go with me, you want to go with your crush, right? Im not your crush. Am i your crush?" she asks hopefully.

But Adrien's self doubt has set in and he stopped listening after she said I cant go with you. Panicking, he's realized he's getting rejected again! It's going to affect is friendship with Marinette, just like it did with Ladybug. He has to say something to prevent that!

"I didnt mean a real date," he lies. "I meant a pretend date."

"Pretend date?"

"Yeah, you know, um...like a practise date." Thinking on the fly, he elaborates. "See, i don't know if my crush likes me, so i was thinking maybe if I tell her where we'd be going on our first date then maybe she'd be more likely to accept. But, we could try it out first to make sure, you know, it would be special enough. What d'ya think?"

"I guess?" Marinette shrugs, not really sure what he's talking about. "Where are you thinking of going?"

"I dunno. You got any ideas?"

So over the course of the next day or so they come up with a list of ideas: lunch at a nearby restaurant, coffee at the local coffee shop, see a movie, go to a museum, etc. They pick one option and go together on the pretend date. Both agree it's not the right date option. Marinette doesn't want Adrien to go on a date with anyone else, so she tells him it's not good enough. Adrien doesn't want to go on a date with anyone else and agrees it's not good enough. They try out option #2. Also, no good. Rinse repeat, rinse repeat. Date after date, both having an excellent time, growing closer and secretly more in love with each other, only to conclude at the end of each date that it's still not good enough and they need to go out on another date.

Alya and Nino are watching this play out and cannot believe how dumb their friends are. Each trying to convince their bestie that they are dating their crush. Just admit it! Finally, after much prodding Alya convinces Marinette and Nino convinces Adrien that they have to come clean about their feelings.

So, here we are first date #50. They are having a picnic in the park, eating food from Tom & Sabine's bakery. It's a lovely day, not a cloud in sky, and everyone seems so happy. No akumas! They're laying on the picnic blanket, watching the clouds roll by, chatting and joking. Adrien absent mindedly sighs that "this is perfect" and Marinette agrees. Suddenly, sitting straight up they both realize what they've admitted. This is the date. The. Perfect. First. Date. It's over, their little ruse is over. It's now or never.

"Marinette, I'd like to thank you for helping me."

"Of course! I had a lot of fun!"

"Yeah, me, too." Adrien rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "Im almost sorry to see it end."

"Yeah, me, too."

"Really?"

Marinette nods and they both blush. Adrien reaches into his pocket and Marinette opens her purse. They each take out a folded scrap of paper. Silently they give themselves a pep talk before thrusting the paper in front of the other's nose. "This is for you!" they cry in unison.

They take the paper, open it, and read the exact same message:

"I like you! Do you like me? Check yes or no."

Then they reread it cuz they just cant believe it. Looking up at each other they laugh and nod, too stupidly happy to speak. They both have these dumb smiles on their faces. And then they kiss!

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #fanfic ideas #fake dating #50 first dates #ml

[keybladeswar]

Confidence (Larxene x Fem!reader)

Words: 1538

Warnings: None

Summary: You’re the shy new member of Organization XIII, and Larxene helps you find your confidence.

Author’s Note: Happy Pride Month! This is the first of (hopefully) a series of LGBT+ reader inserts I’ll be posting throughout June. As always, if you enjoyed this, please like and reblog, and feel free to send in requests!

*

You stared at the slip of paper in your hand as your mouth went dry and your heart stopped beating. No, this couldn’t be real. This had to be a joke. Axel or Xigbar must’ve planted it. Some kind of hazing for the new girl. Something to make you look foolish, to make her lash out at you. Because there was no way you’d been assigned a mission with Larxene.

You were the newest member of Organization XIII. You’d been here for only a few weeks and you were still getting the hang of your new abilities. You’d always been assigned missions with the more... forgiving members of the Organization. But Larxene...

You’d never officially met her, never spoken to her. But you’d witnessed her verbal assaults on the others, Demyx in particular. You’d seen her throw her knives with precision, knew she could stab you through the chest without a second glance. The Savage Nymph, they called her. And they were right. She was as deadly as she was beautiful.

With a deep breath, you tucked the assignment into your pocket and headed to the common room. It was empty when you arrived, and you relaxed a little, thinking that at any moment Axel would appear, laughing at you falling for the joke. Instead, a dark corridor opened and the blonde woman appeared.

She crossed her arms and smirked, giving you a once over. “So they think the new girl is finally ready to meet me,” she said. “All right, then. Let’s see what you’ve got, Y/n.”

You were surprised when she called you by your name; until then, you weren’t sure she’d bothered to learn it.

Larxene opened another corridor and stepped through. You followed a beat later.

Twilight Town awaited you on the other side. The mission itself was simple enough; take out the heartless that were causing problems. You weren’t worried about them. You were more worried about getting in Larxene’s way.

“Do you want to split up?” You asked. “We could meet here again in an hour.”

“What, you don’t want to spend time with me?” Larxene asked. She raised an eyebrow when you didn’t immediately answer. “Wait a second — you’re not scared of me, are you?” The blood rushed to your cheeks as she burst out laughing.

“You are scared of me! Oh, that’s a riot. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. Thanks, I needed that.” You hung your head in embarrassment, wishing you had your good pulled up. To your surprise, you felt Larxene’s hand on your shoulder. “Hey.” Her voice was soft now, softer than you’d ever heard it. “You’re new here. I don’t expect you to know how things work. I know you’ve seen how I treat the others. Well that’s because they’re idiots. They need someone to whip them into shape. You, on the other hand... Let’s just say it’s nice to have another girl around here. Now let’s get this mission done with and then we can... chat? Is that what people do? I’m not used to this whole being friendly thing.”

You smiled slightly. “Okay.”

You worked harder than you ever had at a mission, taking out heartless left and right. Now that you knew Larxene didn’t hate you, you wanted to keep it that way. You wanted to impress her. You wanted her to like you.

By the time it seemed all the heartless were gone, you were both out of breath.

“I hardly ever say this, but nice job,” Larxene said. “Maybe there’s finally someone at my level.” She smirked again, but this time you thought you saw a hint of a real smile buried beneath. “Let’s take a walk. We finished early. Saix won’t expect our reports back for at least a couple more hours.”

You nodded, and the two of you began your stroll through the streets of Twilight Town.

“You don’t say much, do you?” She asked.

“I guess not.” You blushed.

“And there’s no need to get so embarrassed all the time. I’m not making fun of you. If I were, you’d know it.” She continued, “It’s nice to be around someone quiet for a change. Everyone is always so obnoxious.”

You laughed. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“You should laugh more often,” Larxene said. “You have a cute laugh.” You tilted your head down to hide your blush again, but Larxene’s hand was suddenly under your chin, tilting it back up. “No, no. Your laugh is cute. Own it. It’s nothing to be embarrassed by. If you’re going to survive this Organization, especially as a woman, you’ve got to be proud. Own your good qualities. Embrace your bad. Use everything to your advantage. It’s a good thing I like you. The others might’ve taught you how to fight, but you’ve still got a lot to learn.” She paused and studied you for a moment, the way you slouched and ducked your head, the way you Golden your arms, anything to make you seem smaller. You knew she was right; you were an easy target. Larxene grinned. “Looks like we’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”

***

And so you did. The rest of the Organization was shocked to see Larxene take such an interest in someone other than herself. For the next few weeks, Larxene taught you how to stand up for yourself, how to carry yourself in a confident manner. The first completely genuine smile she gave you was when you snapped at Xigbar after one of his signature snarky comments. You felt yourself opening up, becoming the type of person you’d always wanted to be.

You were also much more open with Larxene, laughing with her on your missions and in your free time, ranting about something stupid one of the others did. You loved when you made her laugh, the way she’d double over, clutching her stomach when the two of you were in private, and the proud glimmer in her eye when you’d take the lead on a mission. Most of all, you just loved spending time with her, watching as she complained about something, learning the way she’d move her hands or cross her legs.

No matter how confident you became, you could never stop the heat in your face whenever she complimented you. Or the way your heart raced when you saw her. Or the way even hearing her shout at someone from another room made you smile.

You were told you didn’t have a heart. But damn it if you weren’t falling for her.

Now you just needed to work up the nerve to tell her. You paced back and forth in your room. You knew you had to confess. It wasn’t fair to either of you to keep these feelings bottled up. But you were afraid. What if she laughed? What if she thought you were crazy? You didn’t have Hearts after all. How could you feel this way? What if it ruined your friendship? You knew she liked girls; she had told you about a girl she’d dated before she became a nobody. But just because she liked girls didn’t mean she liked you. You didn’t have much experience with dating. No matter that you could now walk with your head held high; on the inside, you were still that shy, awkward girl who never told her crushes how she felt.

But that had to change.

Without giving yourself time to change your mind, you opened a dark corridor and found yourself outside of Larxene’s room. You knocked on the door and waited.

“Demyx, I swear to god, if you flooded the bathroom again— Oh, Y/n. Wasn’t expecting to see you. What’s up?”

“Larxene, I want to try something, and if you don’t want me to, I’ll stop and never do it again,” you blurted out.

“Huh? Uh... Okay.”

Your heart pounding in your chest, you took a step closer to her. She was taller than you, so you lifted yourself onto your toes and tilted your head toward her slowly, giving her time to realize what you were doing and pull away if she wanted to. When she didn’t, you took the leap and pressed your lips to hers. Her lips tasted like vanilla and suddenly vanilla was your favorite flavor in the world. After a moment, you felt her lips start to move against yours and a jolt of electricity — both literally and figuratively — shot through your body as she wrapped her arms around you. Your own hands cupped her face, and the two of you stood there, intertwined, wishing you could stay there forever.

Finally, after what felt like eternity but also only two seconds, you pulled away. You took a step back and looked at Larxene, trying to gauge her reaction. You found yourself opening your mouth but unable to speak. You just kissed Larxene. You.

Larxene blinked, touching her lips lightly with her gloves fingers. After a moment, she regained her composure and raised an eyebrow at you. “And here I thought I was going to have to make the first move.” She smiled and pulled you to her, kissing you again. And this time, you didn’t pull away.

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 2 #kingdom hearts 3 #larxene x reader #reader insert #pride month #kingdom hearts imagine #kingdom hearts imagines #kingdom hearts fanfiction #fanfiction #imagine #imagines #headcanon #headcanons #organization xiii #larxene

[lovelylanden]

Doing Alright

Yesterday my life was in ruin. Now today I know what I’m doing. Gotta feeling I should be doing alright. Doing alright.

Where Draco and Astoria break up after Draco tells her he’s gay and Astoria is more understanding than he could ever imagine.

Note: Yes, this is a muggle au and yes, I stole this beginning scene from Bohemian Rhapsody but that movie is fucking GOLD so can you really blame me? Not only could I easily make this a one shot, this was such an important scene in the movie and it honestly made me tear up each time I watched it. I’ve been working on this one shot for two weeks, trying to make it perfect and am still not completely satisfied with how it came out. Much love x 

Word count: 1.2k

---

“Draco, what’s wrong?” Astoria asks, face pale white, eyes holding a sort of concern Draco had never seen before. “Something’s been wrong for a while now. Say it.” Draco pauses, shaking his head with the slightest tilt of his chin. “Say it,” She says again, softer this time and watches as Draco inhales shakily, words stuck in his throat as he thinks. 

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Draco whispers, eyes skitting from Astoria’s down to his hands, twiddling his thumbs with anxiety. “I think I’m bisexual,”

“Draco, you’re gay,” Astoria murmurs after a few beats of silence, tears twinkling in beautiful, pained eyes. She stands from the couch, taking a few paces toward the windowsill, her back to him as if afraid to gauge his reaction, not wanting to see the way her recoils with surprise.

“I--” 

“I’ve known for a while now, I just didn’t want to admit it,” She cuts him off, words weak and she wipes away the tears as best she can but Draco doesn’t miss it. “It’s funny, this is always what I settle for. I love you but. I love you Astoria but I need space. I love you Astoria but I’ve met someone else. And now I love you but I’m...” She pauses, voice breaking and she takes a shaky breath in, then out and Draco’s heart shatters. “And this is the hardest because it’s not even your fault,” She says, turning toward him now, sculpted eyebrows furrowed with frustration. 

She twirls the engagement ring around her finger, looking pained and Draco stands to meet her, eyes wide as she begins to slip it off. “No,” He gasps. “Don’t take it off. Don’t take it off. You promised me you’d never take it off,” 

“What do you want from me?” Astoria asks, voice wobbling with uncertainty. 

“Almost everything,” Draco admits softly. “I want you in my life,” 

“Why?” Astoria asks desperately, tears spilling over.

“We believe in each other,” Draco says, confident. “About everything,” He pauses. “But us,” 

Astoria rests a trembling hand on Draco’s cheek, eyes watery again. “Your life is going to be very difficult,” She whispers, running a thumb over a sharp cheekbone and pressing the ring into his hands before she turns to leave. 

Tears of his own run down Draco’s face now and he can’t help but let off a shallow sob as the door shuts. “I-- I’m sorry,” He murmurs into the empty walls, wiping his eyes fiercely. “I’m sorry, Astoria,” Draco grips the ring tight enough to leave pained dents in his palm, pointed edges digging into his skin but he welcomes the distraction, the shatter of his heart nearly too much to bear. 

Wiping his eyes, Draco straightens out his shirt and takes in a shaky breath. He had lost her. His childhood friend, his fiance, his whole world only because... The tears are falling faster now, no matter how quickly he brushes them away and he curls down onto the couch, sobbing harder when the scent of Astoria’s perfume fills the room. She had left her things here; her sweatshirt, her purse, the only thing she had thought to take was her keys, undoubtedly to drive back to live with her parents.

Draco pulls at his hair from the roots, frustrated and sobs into his pillow, throwing the ring across the room and hearing it hit the opposite wall before falling to the floor. He didn’t need the ring now, now that Astoria was gone it would sit on his dresser, collecting dust. He would never give it to someone else, no matter who his next partner would be; the ring would always be Astoria’s whether or not she would want it. 

It was customized just for her; a handsome diamond surrounded by sparkling blue topaz, the birthstone to her zodiac that was something she had instantly fallen in love with. It was useless now, he knew but still finds himself scrambling over to where he had thrown it, scooping it up in his hands and cradling it to his chest. She was gone now and he wasn’t sure she would ever be coming back. 

***

A knock sounds on Draco’s door nearly two weeks later. He stumbles up from his bed, ruffles out his hair and greets whoever it was with red, tear swollen eyes. It shocks him, however when he finds Astoria standing outside his apartment, looking much more composed. “Oh, Draco,” She murmurs softly but Draco does nothing when she pulls him into her arms. 

“Was there something you needed?” Draco asks eventually, voice barely above a whisper. 

“I...” Astoria pauses, finally pulling away from him. “I wanted to see you,” She admits and Draco recoils slightly at the response. 

“You wanted to see me,” He echoes with wide eyes. Even hearing those words from her caused a flare up of pain in his chest, as if she was giving him a sick sense of hope. 

“I still want to be friends, Draco,” Astoria’s words ring true, Draco knows as soon as she says them and finds himself nodding through fresh tears. 

“I’m sorry,” He apologizes brokenly. “I didn’t choose this. I wouldn’t-- I love you, Astoria and I’m so sorry,” Despite trying to hide it, a sob rips through Draco’s chest and he can’t quite manage to meet her gaze.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Astoria reassures him quietly. “It’s out of your control and--” 

“Don’t do that,” Draco cuts her off, blinking rapidly. “I wish you were mad, that you were upset with me. When you’re so understanding it’s so hard to move past this,” He runs his hands through his hair again, hoping now more than ever that this could all disappear. He could admit it was wrong to propose to Astoria while questioning his sexuality but knew he at least felt something for her. 

It was friendship, strong and undying; he knew that now and wished that wasn’t the case. Astoria was the perfect person to date, the perfect person to love. She was smart, considerate, kind and an excellent shag but deep in his gut Draco knew it wasn’t what he wanted, what he needed. “Draco,” Astoria whispers gently, faces inches apart. “Talk to me,” She begs. 

Everything seems to fade away as Draco looks up at her, blue eyes shining like the sun bouncing off the ocean. “I’m sorry,” He whispers with equal softness. “I shouldn’t have done that to you. I hurt you, Tori and that wasn’t fair,” 

“I’m a big girl,” Astoria says instantly. “I can make my own decisions and I chose to stay with you even though I knew something wasn’t right and that wasn’t fair either,” 

Draco takes in a long shaky breath and says, “Have you told your family?” 

Astoria nods slowly, gauging his reaction now and frowns when he shifts his gaze to the floor. “You haven’t?” She asks, knowing the answer without even having to ask. 

“My family won’t be happy to find out we called off the wedding because their only son is a fag,” He mutter, voice breaking near the end. 

Draco could feel tears collecting at the base of his lashes and frowns at Astoria when she scoops his face up in her hands. “We’ll get through this, Dray,” She promises. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You know I’ll always look after you,” 

Draco nods, taking her hands away and kisses her knuckles with feather light touches. “I love you so much,” 

Astoria smiles shakily yet her eyes hold a sort of confidence and promise that warms Draco from the inside out. “I love you too,” She says and Draco knew without a doubt that she meant it.

#harry potter #draco x astoria #bohemian rhapsody #one shot #harry potter one shot #muggle au

[morathor]

So I (jokingly) recommended to a friend that they should play Hiveswap Friendsim, for the shenanigans, but also like... it’s weirdly hard to recommend a game that charges you for every chapter?  Like if you go by, dollar per hour of gameplay it’s a bit on the steep side, but for me (a filthy and unrepentant Homestuck) it’s a good value because I already know I’m invested in the setting and the writing style.  It’s just hard to recommend to someone else.  Buuuuuuut you also don’t have to get every volume, you know?  A person could just get the ones that looked the most interesting, if they were so inclined.

Where I’m going with this is, I rated every friend in the first fifteen volumes of Friendsim, as well as an overall rating for each volume, on a scale from one to five.  Sooooo here's, that, thing I said:

--Ardata Carmia: Her segment was pretty fun in a "what the fuck" sort of way, but like most shock humor it pretty much loses its impact after the first time so... 2/5 --Diemen Xicali: A chill dude, a nice bro, this guy is solid friend material.  Not the most interesting character or anything, but I got fond memories of this friendship.  3/5 --Volume 1 Overall: A little bit more than the sum of its parts, just by being the beginning that sets the tone for how these things go.  3/5

--Amisia Erdehn: What a chipper little axe murderer.  Her personality combines with her brutality in a most delightful way.  3/5 --Cirava Hermod: Their route can get a little heavy, but then takes a little of that weight off your shoulders.  A relaxing good time.  3/5 --Volume 2 Overall: Enjoyable, but not really a standout compared to some of the later volumes.  3/5

--Skylla Koriga: A friendly rough and tumble cowgirl for all your friendly rough and tumble cowgirl needs.  Good ending is immensely satisfying.  5/5 --Bronya Ursama: Grade A, top-of-the-line mom friend.  Bronya is an absolute sweetheart and a joy.  Wish the route relied less on you being pitiable though.  4/5 --Volume 3 Overall: Good times with not one, but two awesome friends.  They outdid themselves with this.  5/5

--Tagora Gorjek: Hard to form a conventional friendship with this slimeball but I gotta say, it's fun being in cahoots with him.  3/5 --Vikare Ratite: This guy has boundless enthusiasm but it's hard to talk to him.  It's tough getting him to open up about his interests, and then once you do it's awkward because of I guess cultural differences.  Nice, but exhausting.  2/5 --Volume 4 Overall: Not bad but not exciting either.  2/5

--Polypa Goezee: Best character the rest of you can go home.  Badass assassin who likes romcoms and anime, like a nerrrrrrrrrd.  Very satisfying storyline. 5/5 --Zebruh Codakk: On the one hand I love to hate this creep.  But that doesn't stop my skin crawling whenever I interact with him.  Is this what kismesisssitude feels like?  3/5 --Volume 5 Overall: Honestly Polypa could pretty much carry this volume herself, shouting ZEBRUH YOU FUCK at the screen is icing on the cake.  4/5

--Elwurd: Sooooo coooooool.  I'm more invested in the story than the character this time; I'm kind of a sucker for routes where you give friends breakup or relationship advice I guess?  4/5 --Kuprum and Folkyl: So, listen.  Look.  There is not a single troll, or pair of trolls, in the entire friendsim, who has been no fun.  But since this is a comparative rating?  These two are just sort of low-level jerkwads, they're not all that interesting.  1/5 --Volume 6 Overall: S'okay I guess.  I think this is the first volume where previous friends start making cameos, and it was nice to see Bronya again.  3/5

--Remele Namaaq: Surprisingly forgettable, you'd think the bond between accomplices in homicide would be more memorable but you'd be wrong.  2/5 --Konyyl Okimaw: What an energetic lass, so full of vigor!  And rage!  There's also something weirdly touching about her rough kindness in her good ending.  4/5 --Volume 7 Overall: A pleasant romp through the land of ultraviolence.  3/5

--Tyzias Entykk: Tired as fuck?  Very relatable.  Tired from fighting a twisted society?  Very commendable.  Route centered around helping this poor gal take a breather?  Very satisfying.  5/5 --Chixie Roixmr: Chixie is sweet and talented and it is painful the way she gets mistreated and the way she has to put on a fuckin customer service smile all the time.  So many fuckin feels.  5/5 --Volume 8 Overall: Sympathetic characters and social injustices, they went hard as hell with this volume and I love it.  5/5

--Azdaja Knelax: What a melodramatic fuck I love him.  I can't dislike anyone who uses their superpowers to make a coat or cape flap in the absence of wind okay?  4/5 --Chahut Maenad: Chahut has this really interesting vibe, where she can be unpredictably violent and at the same time super chill, and it doesn't register as a contradiction or a facade; more like it's not a noteworthy action that represents a change in her mood or tone.  4/5 --Volume 9 Overall: Murder games, murder church, this is the murder volume apparently and it's pretty fun.  4/5

--Zebede Tongva: Dude is lonely and reaching out the only way he knows how, but that way is kind of passive-aggressive and manipulative and I always feel like I'm on eggshells with him.  1/5 --Tegiri Kalbur: Hahahaha wut.  Wut.  The fuck is with this guy.  What a premium dingus, I love him like one of my own trash son OCs.  4/5 --Volume 10 Overall: Not a bad time.  Polypa made a cameo and you got to have a slumber party so that was rad.  3/5

--Mallek Adalov: I genuinely don't know why I like this guy as much as I do?  But I really, really like him.  So chill.  So cool.  Lil bit insecure, but who isn't?  5/5 --Lynera Skalbi: The only friend in the sim to come with a Murderous Intent Gauge, I love her, also I may have mentioned I love routes where you give relationship advice?  5/5 --Volume 11 Overall: This was just such a good time.  Good characters, emotionally fulfilling arcs, just.  Mm.  5/5

--Galekh Xigisi: What a charming pompous twipshit.  I just made that word up.  Anyway another relationship advice route, I remain a sucker for these.  Being a blackrom matchmaker is a fun new experience.  4/5 --Tirona Kasund: More invested in the route than the character; trying to make friends with this lil shit without betraying the trust of your other friends was kind of interesting.  2/5 --Volume 12 Overall: Some good times and welcome cameos by Mallek and Tyzias.  3/5

--Boldir Lamati: This route is... kinda trippy.  Gives off a real weird feel, not fun exactly but a different kind of interesting I can't quite pinpoint.  3/5 --Stelsa Sezyat: Sleek!  Professional!  Kind!  Ish.  I love Stelsa, and once again it's time for relationship advice!  5/5 --Volume 13 Overall: This was fun, and it gets a bit meta in interesting ways that may or may not clear up references to past friends/routes you didn't necessarily play/take.  4/5

--Marsti Houtek: A delightfully brusque young lady.  There's something refreshing about her matter-of-factness, and how bluntly she calls you out when you don't know what you're tlaking about.  4/5 --Karako Pierot: MY SON!  5/5 --Volume 14 Overall: Two routes that were both very fun in entirely different ways.  5/5

--Charun Krojib: This fucker is unfazeable, unflappable, and I fuckin love them.  Also, the good ending was just a lot of fun, I felt really surprisingly good about doing an art collab with a fictional character.  4/5 --Wanshi Adyata: Um.  MY HEART?  WHY?  Wanshi is very sweet and a little naive an it feels terrible if things go badly but it also feels terrible to keep her safe because it means lying to her and ruining her dreams.  5/5 --Volume 15 Overall: AAAAAUUUUUUUUGH 5/5

#hiveswap friendsim

[my-sweet-pea]

Territorial - Part 2

Here’s the rest! I myself do not have hypoglycaemia, so I hope that I was able to portray it somewhat accurately? I asked for input from my friend and this fits her personal experience, so I hope you can also relate. Feel free to leave feedback/criticism/comments!!

Warnings: swearing/crude language, semi-intense make-out session

Part 1  /  Part 2

Cheryl was in fine form when I arrived at the gym. She was already yelling something at a group of the other Vixens when I walked in. She stopped mid-sentence and shot me a sugary sweet smile. I tensed in anticipation.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad you're here. I needed someone with gang connections to really scare these biotches into actually dancing." She turned to the girls and clapped her hands. "Alright, ladies, if you don't put 200% more effort into this routine, she will send her nasty Serpent boyfriend to break your kneecaps or whatever."

I gritted my teeth, biting back my angry retort. Responding to her would only make things worse. I shot an apologetic look at the poor girls under fire. Only two of them returned my gaze.

With a sigh, I turned and trudged off to find a corner where I could stretch in peace. My stomach was clenched in a tight knot as I looked around the gym. The Vixens had always been my friends, even if our friendship was more on the level of coworkers. Now I could see the sidelong glances and outright stares being directed my way.

I had been officially dating Sweet Pea for almost a year at this point. I didn't keep it a secret. I didn't necessarily talk about him with just anyone, but that was because I didn't feel like talking about my personal life with people I barely knew. We spent most of our time together on the Southside because I liked his friends and we all had fun together, so Northsiders may not have been used to seeing us together. I had assumed that anyone who would care about who I was dating already knew by now, but apparently, when Reggie is somehow involved, everyone cares.

"Alright, ladies, get out here. Time to work," Cheryl yelled.

Practice had officially begun.

Later that afternoon, I was standing on the football field in my uniform. The chilly air sent a shiver down my spine. I gripped my pompoms ferociously. I was more nervous than I would have liked; Reggie and the rest of the Bulldogs would be coming out of the locker room soon for the pre-game cheer.

I searched the bleachers carefully. Sweet Pea was supposed to be there with the Serpents to help keep an eye on the situation. He had even apologized for his dramatics earlier and promised that he would do his best not to get violent tonight. I really wanted to see him before the game began.

"You ok?" asked one of the Vixens, placing her hand gently on my shoulder.

The girls were treating me like I was a bomb that might go off at any second. I wasn't sure if they were waiting for Reggie or if they thought that I myself was going to lose it.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just looking to see if my friends are here yet." I smiled back at the girl tentatively.

Her eyes shot to the bleachers as she scanned them herself. I think she knew who I meant when I said "friends". She pursed her lips and nodded, looking like she wanted to get out of the blast zone.

"Good luck," she said in a pitying tone before taking off.

When I turned back, I found myself staring straight at a strongly muscled chest. I gulped, looking up at Reggie's face. I took a step backwards to increase the distance between us. He had a very serious look on his face, but I couldn't tell how angry he was.

"Well well well. If it isn't our supportive cheerleader. Are you ready to support your team's captain?"

"I don't know what you mean, Reggie. You know I support the Bulldogs," I said quietly, trying to maintain eye contact.

Reggie sneered at me. "Right. Of course. So that must mean you're ready to go on a date with me."

Reggie reached out and grabbed my arm, hard. He leaned closer to me with a satisfied look on his face. I tried to tear my arm free, but his hand was squeezing my forearm with too much force.

"Reggie. I am not going to go on a date with you." I tried to appear strong and unafraid, but I wasn't sure what Reggie was going to do and I felt light-headed.

Reggie opened his mouth to respond, a sneer spreading across his features. At that moment, I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist. I turned and saw Sweet Pea standing there with rage in his eyes.

"Hey, babe, what are we talking about?"

He stared pointedly at Reggie's grip on my arm, but Reggie didn't let go.

"None of your business, criminal," Reggie taunted Sweet Pea with a challenging voice.

Before I could blink, Sweet Pea's arm darted forward and broke Reggie's grip on my arm. I quickly stepped back behind Sweets.

Reggie held his arm, rage contorting his features. "That's my throwing arm, asshole!"

Sweets shrugged. "Maybe you shouldn't put your throwing arm anywhere near my girl then."

Reggie didn't say anything else. He backed away, staring Sweets down the entire time. Sweet Pea rolled his eyes and turned to me, running his hands over my body as if to reassure himself that I was still there.

"Are you ok, princess?" He searched my eyes. "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, burying my face in Sweet Pea's chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

"Come here."

Sweets led me off the field. I didn't protest. I was shaking and exhausted after the confrontation with Reggie.

"You're not mad at me, right? For hitting Reggie's arm? I wasn't sure if that counted as violence or just defence."

I laughed without humour. "No, I'm not mad. I'm so glad you showed up when you did. I was getting scared," I admitted.

Sweets turned, stopping around the corner of a custodian shed. He pulled me to him and kissed me with an edge of panic. He had been afraid for me too. Reggie's unpredictable attitude of recent was hard to gauge.

Sweet Pea pulled back and leaned down to rest his forehead on mine.

"You're mine, and I'm going to take care of you, ok?"

He reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

I turned and brushed my lips against his softly. He instantly deepened the kiss, gripping my hips with hard fingers. I whimpered involuntarily, opening my mouth under his. Our tongues met in a hot caress.

Sweets pulled back and began to kiss the line of my jaw. I ran my fingers up through his hair, sighing under the heady onslaught. His lips ran down my throat to the high neckline of my uniform. He darted his tongue underneath, fingers moving to the back to undo the zipper there.

"Sweets! The game! I have to get back," I breathed.

"Not yet, princess. You're mine," he growled back.

His assault on the zipper stopped but his fingers ran through my hair, mussing my game-ready ponytail.

He kissed my neck below my ear, causing me to gasp and tighten my grip on his hair, pulling gently. He began to suck harder on the tender skin, and I arched my back, letting out a sigh. Sweets pulled back with a cheeky grin, watching me for a moment before moving down to tenderly kiss another trail up my neck, stopping to smooth his tongue over the mark that was already beginning to appear.

He pulled back abruptly, laughing at the bereft expression on my face. "Like you said, you're supposed to be at the game! We gotta get you back."

I groaned, attempting to fix my uniform and my hair. I felt the tender spot on my neck, eyes widening as I realized what he had done.

"Sweets! Did you give me a hickey on purpose?" I demanded.

He smirked at me in response. I groaned.

"It's above my uniform too. Seriously, Sweets?"

Sweet Pea didn't look sorry. He pulled me close to him.

"I told you, you're mine. Certain people needed to be reminded of that fact." His eyes narrowed as he seemed to think about Reggie.

I sighed. This was going to be embarrassing.

“Don’t be mad, baby,” he whispered in my ear. “I love you and I’ll protect you.”

We made our way back to the field, Sweet Pea only leaving after dropping a heavy kiss on my lips. I blushed, knowing that anyone could have seen that, and probably would also see the hickey.

I picked up the pompoms which I had dropped earlier. I gave them a practice shake to get rid of any grass or dirt they might have picked up. The act of shaking them was enough to make me lightheaded.

Why am I so weak today? I wondered. I tried to remember the last time I’d eaten. With growing horror, I realized that I hadn’t eaten lunch or any snacks today. I had been so distracted by Reggie that I hadn’t remembered to replace my ruined sandwich, and I’d been feeling too nauseous and nervous to have my usual snacks. Do I have time to grab something? I checked my watch just as the Vixens began to gather in the centre of the field.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I would have to finish the opening routine without any food. Before Cheryl could yell at me, I joined the team in our usual warm-up routine.

I saw Sweets sitting with crossed arms in the stands. Toni and Fangs were sitting on either side of him, leaning over to talk to each other. He saw me looking and smiled at me, smacking his friends so they would look up too. Toni waved enthusiastically and Fangs sent me a friendly nod.

I smiled back. I tried to focus on the warm-up routine. It was taking more attention than usual to remember the once-familiar moves.

Thankfully the warm-up ended. I wobbled on my feet slightly as I made my way to my position for the game opener. I wished that it was my turn to hold the banner for the Bulldogs to run through.

“What the hell is that on your neck?” demanded Cheryl, one hip cocked and her armed crossed. Her bright red lips were pursed and her eyes sparked with anger.

My hand shot to the bruise self-consciously. “I know, I’m sorry, I just didn’t have time to do anythi-“

“I don’t need excuses from you! I just need to know that you’re going to do this routine perfectly without leaving in the middle for a quick gangbang with the Serpents,” she snarled.

I inhaled sharply. I didn’t have the energy or brain power to defend myself against her barbed tongue. I just nodded.

Her eyes narrowed and she cast a quick look up and down my body. With a huff, she whirled on her heel and went to her starting position.

I turned back to the bleachers. I saw Sweet Pea frowning in my direction. Toni had a concerned look on her face while Fangs was saying something animatedly.

I waved at them, wondering what they were thinking. The music started suddenly, blaring through the speakers. I tried to take deep breaths as I prepared.

The Vixens gave their everything during every routine, partly because we were afraid of what Cheryl would do to us if we were anything less than perfect. I finished the big handstand with an impressive twirl. I felt the blood rushing out of my head and the edges of my vision went dark. I tried to continue on, hoping I could shake it off, but the encroaching darkness grew. My muscles gave way as the last pinpoint of light faded.

I woke up slowly to the sound of yelling and angry voices. Toni was holding me in her lap and gently slapping my cheek. She saw my eyes flutter open and turned behind her to yell something.

She smiled down at me and said something, but the rushing in my ears made it impossible to hear. I raised a single finger in a ‘wait’ gesture. Sweet Pea suddenly kneeled on the ground beside me.

“—cess? What’s wrong?” he demanded, gripping my face with his hands.

I cleared my throat carefully. “I think my blood sugar got too low.”

He frowned. “Are you sure? Reggie might have done some-“

I interrupted. “I’m very sure. I have hypoglycaemia and I forgot that I skipped my lunch because of all the stress today.”

“I told you, asshole!” I heard Reggie’s voice from somewhere behind me.

Sweet Pea was on his feet and moving towards him in a second. Toni shook her head at me when I moved to sit up and call after him.

“How am I supposed to know what’s happening when my girl faints suddenly, suspiciously after you were being an aggressive asshole all day?”

"I never would have hurt her," Reggie sneered.

I fought to turn so that I could see them.

"Oh yeah? Then why were you holding onto her arm earlier when she clearly didn't want you to?" Sweet Pea demanded, getting in Reggie's face.

"Hey man, don't get mad at me because you didn't know your own girlfriend has a medical problem," Reggie shot back.

I winced. I hadn't told Sweet Pea because I didn't want him to constantly worry about me. I knew how to take care of myself and my blood sugar most of the time; it was just on stressful days that I had to be consciously aware of how long it had been since I last ate. I already knew that Sweet Pea would be hovering and trying to "help" me keep track of my diet from now on.

After a moment, Sweet Pea punched Reggie right in the face. Reggie stumbled and fell to the ground, Cheryl standing nearby with crossed arms and a frown on her face. She didn’t move to help him. Sweets turned and stalked over to me.

"What do you need? What can I do to help?" he asked, anguish in his eyes.

I smiled up at him. “I could use some juice or candy? Just for now?”

Fangs appeared beside me, holding a bottle of apple juice he must have found while I was passed out. He was panting and slightly sweaty.

“Is this ok? Someone in the bleachers said this would work.”

“Yeah, that’s great. Thanks, Fogarty,” I said with a smile.

I slowly sipped my juice, holding each sip in my mouth for a moment. I still felt very shaky and cold, but the knot in my stomach was starting to pass.

I could hear Reggie groaning and muttering behind me. I tried not to think about him or what he might do to me now.

“Well, now that your little diva moment is over, I’m going to head back out there,” Cheryl spoke for the first time, sounding annoyed but also possibly a little relieved.

I turned in time to see her step around Reggie where he sat on the ground. She shot him a disgusted look.

“Reggie. Are you ok?” I asked in a flat tone.

He shot me a look I couldn’t decipher. “Just give me a moment. I’m fine.”

“Good. Now please leave me alone,” I said, turning away from him.

Sweet Pea scooped me into his arms and held me against his chest. “Keep drinking your juice, princess.”

Fangs chimed in, “Do you need something else? ‘Cause there’s a vending machine in the school and I think I could scare some of the people in the bleachers into giving me their food if you need it.”

“Thanks, guys, but I just want to go home, to be honest. Is that ok?” I looked into Pea’s eyes pleadingly.

“Of course! Let’s get you out of here.”

He strode towards his bike, Toni and Fangs following closely behind. He set me in his lap carefully so that I wouldn’t fall but he could still navigate safely.

Toni and Fangs said they would meet us at the trailer, and I knew there was no point in trying to convince them that I was ok. They were all a little bit freaked out. I knew they loved me, and I did feel somewhat guilty for not telling them about my hypoglycaemia before now.

I curled into Sweet Pea’s chest. The Serpents were the best kind of family to have. I felt safe and secure in the knowledge that they would protect me.

Part 1  /  Part 2 

#sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea request #sweet pea fiction #riverdale fanfic #territorial #hypoglycaemic #hypoglycemic

[berensaats]

under the cut you will find 370+ otp tags. these were all taken from various song lyrics and quotes, except one or other i made up myself. they are unsorted, ranging from anything since skinny love to soulmates to friends with benefits to toxic relationships, exes, forbidden loves and so forth. tw: nsfw, mentions of battle and religious references. likes or reblogs are appreciated. hope you enjoy it!!

otp: you could be my cure 

otp: take away all my sin ; give me a sweet prayer on my lips

otp: i’ll make you feel like you’ve been blessed

otp: i found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

otp: i’ll use you as a warning sign that if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind

otp: i’ll use you as a focal point so i don’t lose sigh of what i want

otp: i’ll use you as a makeshift gauge of how much to give and how much to take

otp: i’ve moved further than i thought i could but i’ve missed you more than i thought i would

otp: fear is the heart of love

otp: i will follow you into the dark

otp: you’re a king and i’m a lionheart

otp: though far away we’re still the same

otp: as the world comes to an end i’ll be here to hold your hand

otp: i find shelter in your arms

otp: your eyes look like coming home

otp: the unrelenting constancy of love and hope

otp: these violent delights have violent ends

otp: a love like this won’t last forever

otp: maybe it was just as simple as a change in your heart

otp: he can cut through these strings and open my wings

otp: this slope is treacherous ; i like it

otp: put your lips close to mine as long as they don’t touch

otp: i’d be smart to walk away but you’re quicksand

otp: too good to be good for me

otp: i’m wasted on you

otp: i’d kill for her ; i’d die for her

otp: two crowns and a gold cup

otp: if your heart is a dog fight then i’m ready to go to war

otp: your legs are the north star

otp: if you’re lost in this darkness i’ll carry your throne

otp: they try to break inside the walls with these lies but i’m pulling up the draw bridge

otp: we rose this love from the dirt

otp: no grave can hold my body down ; i’ll crawl home to her

otp: she’d give me toothaches just from kissing me

otp: i swear i thought i dreamed her

otp: she never asked once about the wrong i did

otp: my baby would never fret none about what my hands and my body done

otp: if the lord don’t forgive me i’d still have my baby and my baby would have me

otp: what a splendid mess

otp: maybe i just wanna be yours

otp: secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought

otp: we’re so late nights

otp: i always push my luck when i’m with you

otp: faded every night ; dancing all night long

otp: the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

otp: do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?

otp: been wondering if your heart’s still open and if so i wanna know what time it shuts

otp: maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

otp: have you no idea that you're in deep?

otp: she’s a silver lining climbing on my desire

otp: all i wanna hear her say is ‘’are you mine?’’

otp: are you mine tomorrow or just mine tonight?

otp: is it desire or is it love that i’m feeling for you?

otp: i want you to want me again

otp: you make my heart shake bend and break

otp: never knew loving could hurt this good

otp: you’re driving me wild

otp: kiss me on the mouth and set me free

otp: i can be the subject of your dreams

otp: don’t you wanna se a man up close?

otp: i’m pulling on your heart to push my lucj

otp: i still hide you in my poetry

otp: if it’s a 7 hour flight or a 45 minute drive

otp: when you look at me like that my darling what did you expect?

otp: i’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck

otp: once again you had to greet me with goodbye

otp: i was sleeping in the garden when i saw you first

otp: bones of my bones and flesh of my flesh

otp: like the dawn you broke the dark

otp: you were the brightest shade of sun when i saw you

otp: like the dawn you woke the world inside me

otp: you will surely be the death of me but how could i have known?

otp: i can feel your pulse in the pages

otp: i have written you down now you will live forever

otp: i can’t say the words so i wrote you into my verse

otp: i had fallen in love with you before i knew

otp: my doubts fade when i’m kissing you

otp: everything has changed

otp: there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together

otp: it’s you that i’ve been waiting to find

otp: can you show me how we can escape?

otp: i’ll recover if you keep my alive

otp: you make it shine

otp: every part of me you change

otp: just hold me together ; tell me you’ll always want me to stay

otp: wanna be the one you steal ; wanna be the one you shield

otp: i wanna be the one that your love can heal

otp: they are the hunters we are the foxes

otp: love’s a fragile little flame ; it could burn out

otp: i know places we won’t be found

otp: just grab my hand and don’t ever drop it

otp: tell me when you’re gonna let me in

otp: why don’t we go somewhere only we know?

otp: i should just tell you to leave because i know exactly where it leads

otp: could end in burning flames or paradise

otp: when we go crashing down we come back every time

otp: kissing feels like healing

otp: like gods at the dawning of the world

otp: i would know him in death ; at the end of the world

otp: their hands meet and light spills in a flood

otp: he is half of my soul like the poets say

otp: there was never once weakness in wanting another

otp: reason was always conquered by love

otp: if one must be pitied for loving you ; i will love you as much as i must and as much as i can

otp: your closeness pains me

otp: i simply see more in us than we both are.

otp: even when you’re next to me it’s not the way i’m picturing

otp: you wanna be friends forever ; i can think of something better

otp: at least i got you in my head

otp: i wanna ruin our friendship ; we should be lovers instead

otp: i don’t wanna be your friend ; i wanna kiss your neck

otp: you found the real me

otp: there’s millions of reasons to love you

otp: we don’t even need a title

otp: you don’t got to be mine ; just be mine for the night

otp: we just try to keep those secrets in a lie

otp: your eyes will lead me straight back home

otp: my friends won’t love me like you

otp: friends should sleep in other beds

otp: friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do

otp: these hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me

otp: you are the best thing that’s ever been mine

otp: you gave me roses and i left them there to die

otp: you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye

otp: if we loved again i swear i’d love you right

otp: no place like home ; no place like her

otp: give a little time to me or burn this out

otp: we'll play hide and seek to turn this around

otp: all I want is the taste that your lips allow

otp: give me love like never before

otp: wonder what for ; why we keep coming back for more

otp: is the only reason why you’re holding me tonight ‘cause we’re scared to be lonely?

otp: we’re just reckless kids trying to find an island in the flood

otp: you can have the best of me

otp: give me your heart ; i’ll show you that love is always there

otp: if forever's gonna last then we'd better find the same direction

otp: i want you for so long ; tell me if it is so wrong

otp: trying to make it so clear ; hoping that we fall in love

otp: don’t give up on me when i stumble along

otp: remember my love for you won’t fade

otp: all your lights are red but I'm green to go

otp: i want you ; i’ll colour me blue

otp: only seeing myself when i’m looking up at you

otp: i know you’re seeing black and white so i’ll paint you a clear-blue sky

otp: without you i am colour-blind

otp: ain't nothing better worth imagining

otp: look for my heart ; you stole it away

otp: i want you to burn my bridges down

otp: i miss someone who isn’t mine to miss

otp: i dream about someone who isn’t mine to dream about

otp: i love someone who isn’t mine to love

otp: bring me some hope by wandering into my mind

otp: when it feels like i’m lost at sea you’re the song i sing

otp: you’re the anchor that i tie to my brain

otp: for your eyes only i will show my heart

otp: in a sea of lovers without ship and lovers without sight ; you’re the only way out

otp: i am an island ; you are the ocean

otp: i cannot have you without drowning

otp: i’m part of your world but i cannot have you

otp: i am deserted and you are too deep

otp: i cannot love you without losing me

otp: i will be your sword and shield ; your camouflage and you will be mine

otp: meet me on the battlefield

otp: everything could stay the same or we could change it all

otp: i met you in the dark ; you lit me up

otp: you made me feel as though i was enough

otp: i knew i loved you then but you’d never know

otp: just say you won’t let go 

otp: i bet you love me more after that first fuck

otp: i bet i love you more than i can say to you

otp: you’re my favorite kind of night

otp: used to be that i felt so damn empty ; ever since i met you no vacancy

otp: to commit our hearts to each other no matter what

otp: they say love is drowning and hell ; i’d let you drown me

otp: i fell in love tonight ; i didn’t mean to fall in love tonight

otp: if only i could hold you ; you’d keep my head from going under

otp: if we’re not meant for each other then why did we fall in love?

otp: you wish i was yours and i hope that you’re mine

otp: i tasted the divine and she left my lips dripping with love

otp: wanna show you how it feels to rock with something thrill

otp: let me show you what it’s like to fuck with something right

otp: stop messing with those boys ; get you a lady

otp: even when the world is against us i’ll keep you warm

otp: wanna keep you warm like you know you want to be kept

otp: the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view

otp: you saw no fault ; no cracks in my heart and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

otp: give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

otp: i will hold on as long as you like ; just promise me we’ll be alright

otp: we'll share my all and our children come and they will hear me roar

otp: my soul will find you each time

otp: when you walked into the room it’s like the sun came out

otp: fires like this can tear the world apart

otp: i’d rather take a hit and fall than never fuck it up with you at all

otp: sparks in the dark gonna tear through my heart and start a fire

otp: baby can we burn it slow?

otp: there is no love without burning

otp: i am in love with everything that is unreachable: the stars; the moon and you

otp: untouchable ; burning brighter than the sun and when you're close I feel like coming undone

otp: you can tell them you are mine ; i’m sick of games

otp: take these walls and rip them down

otp: i'm not bullet proof when it comes to you

otp: i lay down this armor for you

otp: i’ll be your escape ; i’ll be your safe place

otp: all I gave you is gone ; tumbled like it was stone

otp: thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn't shake

otp: we deserve a soft epilogue my love

otp: what can you steal from a thief? his heart

otp: she was my salvation ; i was her destruction

otp: come morning light you and i'll be safe and sound

otp: i will be your lover ; fighter

otp: i wanna fight for love

otp: i'm aiming high not to lose you

otp: your heart is afraid to want more

otp: i can't help but love you even though i try not to

otp: can’t help but want oceans to part

otp: i’m overcome in this war of hearts

otp: love like a lover ; shine in the dark

otp: i don't deserve your love but you give it to me anyway

otp: when I'm falling apart your arms are always open wide

otp: give me a reason to keep trying ; give me more than i could dream

otp: we should just kiss like real people do

otp: what did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth?

otp: i will not ask you where you came from ; i will not ask and neither should you

otp: in search of silver linings we discovered gold

otp: we'll defy the rules until we die

otp: let's be sinners to be saints

otp: the world may disapprove but my world is only you

otp: if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me

otp: how can you expect me not to eat when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?

otp: our hearts are too ruthless to break

otp: love ; i see it running through you

otp: fill up my old heart with new light

otp: loving in the moment is something luminous

otp: iscariot you fool

otp: i should’ve worshipped her sooner

otp: if the heavens ever did speak she's the last true mouthpiece

otp: i'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

otp: offer me that deathless death and good god ; let me give you my life

otp: there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

otp: we were a fire with no smoke

otp: rags to riches but i'm addicted to being broken

otp: take my breath away ; you know i'm bound to choke

otp: when I close my eyes i still see your ghost

otp: distance makes the heart grow founder said by someone stronger than me

otp: let me take your heart love you in the dark no one has to see

otp: who wouldn't want it when he looks like that?

otp: if i try my hardest would you look my way?

otp: the only time i’d ever call you mine

otp: love is worship for which the heart needs no permission

otp: learn me hard ; learn me right

otp: love was kind for a time ; now it just aches and makes me blind

otp: you forgave and i won’t forget

otp: love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears

otp: lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all

otp: lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall

otp: where you invest your love you invest your life

otp: you heard my voice ; i came out of the woods by choice

otp: i will call you by name ; i will share your road

otp: wherever there is you i will be there too

otp: no matter where i sleep you are haunting me

otp: now your mess is mine

otp: my atlantis we fall

otp: we built it up to pull it down

otp: we might just end up crashing but I'm ready if it happens with you

otp: you're the only thing I know and I don't wanna let this go

otp: close to you i feel i'm at home

otp: we were built to last

otp: we could burn and crash ; we could take a chance

otp: like it’s our last dance

otp: he will never be satisfied ; i will never be satisfied

otp: it’s the feeling of freedom ; of seeing the light

otp: that doesn’t mean i want him any less

otp: at least i keep his eyes in my life

otp: look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit

otp: if it takes fighting a war for us to meet it will have been worth it

otp: i don’t know how to say now to this

otp: hold my hand and now you're not alone

otp: you paralyze me and i don't know why

otp: lovers and enemies then we're back to friends

otp: like a shadow and a dancer

otp: the summer thrill is gone but we've never been so in love

otp: i can taste it my heart breaking

otp: if i die may it be of love and if i love may it be you

otp: my soul is enclosed inside your skin

otp: i lack the air you're not breathing next to me

otp: i will love you thief even if you keep my soul

otp: i will love you thief even if you invade my dreams

otp: i only find you in my dreams and since you aren’t here i will try to keep sleeping

otp: you have won each battle but you have not won the war

otp: i know you have been through some tough times but please don’t push me away

otp: i’d give whatever it takes to have you near

otp: sent a picture to my mother ; told her you are the woman i’ve always wanted

otp: if your body was a book i’d read a thousand chapters

otp: even if it takes my whole life i will wait for you

otp: i know there is still love in your eyes and your glance says you’ll return

otp: if you leave there is nothing left

otp: all the water in the sea could not put out all the love you’ve given me

otp: i’ll leave the door on the latch if you ever come back

otp: it will be just like you were never gone

otp: your streets ; they agonize me

otp: you sleep in my sleep ; you cry in my tears

otp: there is your whisper in my thoughts

otp: how's this relationship of your and mine ; it doesn't have a face and yet it's so deep

otp: unless we share someone's pain we don't get separated from our own

otp: what's the world to do with the love of these two

otp: if you shoot it's a fight and if you wink it's love

otp: veni vidi amavi

otp: this red love ; this remorse of love

otp: my name is love ; your name is love

otp: should i change my name or should i hide yours?

otp: touch me with your body ; color me in your color

otp: my jewel and money is just you

otp: there is joy of love in the night and in everything you say

otp: the only thing i have in the world is your heart

otp: the heart flies ; it has got wings and attached to you

otp: here it's love and there it's fight

otp: this bed of yours and mine is a battlefield

otp: if you press the trigger i'll play kisses

otp: i've become lovely having read your name

otp: just for you i have gone mad

otp: like an expensive liquor and i've drunk it all in one gulp

otp: the shadows of your memories don't go away

otp: how do i end this distance?

otp: it's only this disease called love that is grown up

otp: once I'm lost in your talks i'd never want to come back to consciousness

otp: i've learnt to smile from you

otp: even on trying to remove ; your color doesn’t get off me

otp: i want to love in you and get lost in you only

otp: i want to hide you in my heart and not open it after that

otp: the one i have worshipped ; i’ve come face to face with her today

otp: with just the gaze of your eyes my heart has mended

otp: the story is only a tragedy if the god loves you back

otp: i wanted to tell him that i loved him but i was afraid that he would hear me

otp: you are my reality ; my most precious treasure

otp: you are the crown lying on my head

otp: luckily they don’t see how weak i become when i’m with you

otp: over the glowing hill we conquer

otp: we return to each other in waves ; this is how water loves

otp: let him be soft and let him be mine

otp: love is the only thing that turns this cage into a palace

otp: no one is chasing you but me

otp: i rub your tensed wrist like a pliant mouth ; i wait for spread fingers and a vulnerable palm

otp: these unarmored parts which are mine alone

otp: what are you more afraid of? that he gave you his heart or that you would gladly give him yours in return?

otp: just your heart in exchange for mine

otp: i didn’t know that i was starving until i tasted you

otp: in your eyes i see my bloodline

otp: you’re the rising sun ; you’re the setting sun

otp: i was with you before we were even born

otp: i have looked at you in millions of ways and i have loved you in each

otp: i will always love you ; i will always find you

otp: you are my fate this once and always

otp: hell is loving you in my sleep and waking up alone

otp: they know you walk like you’re a god ; they can’t believe i made you weak

otp: if it should be that i am hated for the simple sin of loving you then let me be despised

otp: take the mask off when you speak to me

otp: with his educated eyes and his head between my thighs

otp: i wanna sleep next to you but that's all I wanna do right now

otp: i wanna get close to you cause your hands and lips still know their way around

otp: the less time that I spend with you the less you need to heal

otp: you think my bruised knees are sorta pretty and i think your tired eyes are kinda nice

otp: it is never too late to begin our love again

otp: i tried to love you less ; i couldn’t

otp: i can’t go on if it’s not you

otp: even though I try so hard i can’t forget these feelings

otp: and i’ve been cold since you left

otp: despite everything it’s still you

otp: he was her warmth ; she was his peace

otp: we don’t have a lot but we’ve got each other

otp: please don’t be in love with someone else ; please don’t have somebody waiting on you

otp: this is me praying that this was the very first page ; not where the storyline ends

otp: what a lovely way to burn

otp: if i told you about the darkness inside of me would you still look at me like i’m the sun

otp: i’d be your shadow ; i’d walk with you

otp: in your breaths and in mine there is the same air

otp: as long as we’re together doesn’t matter where we go home

otp: i just wanted you to fuck me but then i got greedy and i wanted you to love me

otp: trying to make it work but man these times are hard

otp: even after all these years we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

otp: these times are hard they're making us crazy don't give up on me

otp: tried to break love to a science in an act of pure defiance i broke her heart

otp: you can break everything down to chemicals but you can't explain a love like ours

otp: there's no starting over without finding closure

otp: from what i've seen and i've heard when it comes to you there are no words

otp: see you in my mind then i open my mouth and it's silence

otp: there are no words you can understand ; only lovers can

otp: can't take the ache from heartbreak

otp: there's no fair in farewell

otp: if i could turn back time then i would rewrite those lines

otp: if i had to break the bank ; spend every penny on your dreams

otp: love ; like art

otp: you healed these scars over time embraced my soul you loved my mind

otp: you saw me cry say i'm still the soldier in your eyes

otp: it may not seem like very much but i'm yours

otp: you've fallen in love in the worst way and if you don't go now then you'll stay

otp: if you're looking for heaven it sure as hell ain't me

otp: how can i move on when i'm still in love with you?

otp: when a heart breaks it don't break even

otp: what am i gonna do when the best part of me was always you?

otp: kiss me with adventure until i forget my name

otp: true love ; hard to hide

otp: she found the colours to paint him where the world had left him gray

otp: she is electricity running to my soul

otp: the way you kiss me will work each time

otp: then we grew a little and romanticized the time i saw flowers in your hair

otp: i know i haven’t lost even though it’s too late to recover the heart you stole from me

#rph #otp tags #(&&mine) #masterlist #tags #resources

[4everinsane]

Harry Styles - Getting Married Imagine

[The imagine where he says he loves you at your wedding is HERE.

I liked doing the reverse and I hope you like reading it! Enjoy!]

“Wha’ do you mean you can’t make it?” You hear the sadness ripple through Harry’s voice over the phone after you tell him that you weren’t going to be able to make it to his wedding next week. You could just imagine the crease between his brows as he frowns. You knew that look all too well. 

“I just... I won’t be in town. I can’t.” You were lying. You were sitting in your living room right this second with no plans of leaving for awhile. The idea though, of watching Harry marry someone else, someone that wasn’t you, just caused this sharp pain to form in the center of your chest and you felt it was better that you stay away. 

“I need my best friend though.” He mutters and again, you can hear the sadness in his words. “You can’t reschedule your plans? Please, love, for me. I can’t do it without you.” You sigh, resting your head back on the couch, running a hand across your face. 

“I’ll try but... I don’t know, Harry.” You knew the day of his wedding you would most likely be sat in this exact same spot, crying over losing the man you were in love with simply because you were too afraid to tell him such. 

As the next few days passed and the wedding got closer and closer, you distanced yourself from Harry. He wanted you to come pick up his tux with him to get your opinion that it looked alright but you said no, he wanted you to come over and give your opinion on what music to play at the reception, you said you were sick. You just couldn’t look into his face as he talked about his wedding and his fiancee. You just couldn’t do it. 

“I’m coming over and we are drinking. I need a night away from all things wedding.” You read his text over and over at again before finally responding with an okay. He wanted away from wedding things, so maybe that meant he wouldn’t want to talk about it either. 

“Why do I get the feeling tha’ you don’ want to spend time with me?” Harry asks later in the night after the two of you had already had quite a bit to drink. Your brain was starting to get foggy and it was starting to seem more and more like a good idea to confess to Harry the real reason you wouldn’t be attending his wedding in three days. 

“I always want to spend time with you, Harry.” And that was the truth. Harry was who you wanted to spend every second with, for the rest of your life. Not that you would say that though, you kept that bit to yourself and instead took another large gulp of your drink and avoided looking at him.

“Do you not like that I’m gettin’ married?” His voice was quiet as he asks this and you can practically feel his frown on you but you look anywhere but at him. “Ever since I got engaged you’ve been differen’ towards me.” 

“I don’t know, Harry.” You sigh, unsure how to put into words exactly how you felt. You could always confess you were in love with him, that would put everything out there, but also ruin your friendship and you didn’t want to do that. 

“If you’re afraid me bein’ married is goin’ to effect our friendship, you’re wrong.” He moves a little closer to you, putting his drink down. He reaches for yours and puts it down on the coffee table next to his before he takes your hand. You finally look over at him, realizing just how close he was to you now. Your breath hitched in your throat a bit. “I already told her that no matte’ what she wants, you’re in my life. I won’t lose you, not after everythin’ that you and I have gone through. I’m not lettin’ somethin’ like me gettin’ married take you away from me.” You give a small smile but then look down, biting at your lip. “Do you not like her? Is tha’ wha’ it is? You don’t like who I’m marrying?” 

“Harry, she’s great.” And she was. She was sweet, passionate, caring, and took great care of Harry but at the end of the day she would never be good enough for him simply because she wasn’t you. 

“Then wha’? Wha’ about me gettin’ married makes you so upset?” He was getting frustrated now. The grip he had on your hand was strong as he tried to understand. You knew Harry hated the idea that you were upset and knew he would do everything he could to make you happy again like he always had but in this case... he just couldn’t. 

“It’s not ...” You sigh, unsure of what to say. That’s when the alcohol gave you the bravery you had never had before. You were going to say it. Your hands grew clammy, your heart began to race and your breath got harder to take in. You look up into those gorgeous green eyes filled with concern and sigh again. You reach a hand up, resting it on his slightly stubble covered jaw as you grip at his other hand that still held yours. “It’s because you’re marrying someone that isn’t me that has me upset.” There, you’d said it. It was out there. 

You watched the shock ripple across Harry’s face. Of everything he figured you would say to him about this wedding - that was not it. He was stunned into silence, unsure of what to say. When he still continues to say nothing your eyes begin to fill with tears and you remove both hands from him and stand up. 

“Y/N,” He whispers as you turn away from him. You walk across the room, keeping your back to him as your shoulders slump and you hold back the sob that wanted to leave your chest. This was it. You knew there was no going back. Now it was out there how you felt and there was nothing to be done. 

“Leave, Harry, please.” You hear him stand up and take a step towards you. You squeeze your eyes shut as more tears leak out, leaving wet trails down your cheeks. 

“We need to talk about this, please.” He begs but you shake your head and finally turn to look at him. His eyes were wide, he looked confused and helpless. He wanted to stop your tears but you knew he just didn’t know how and you hated yourself for making him feel that way. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Harry.” You shake your head, giving him a soft smile. “I should have told you years ago that I loved you, but I didn’t. So now you’re going to go get married on Thursday and you’re going to be so happy and you’re going to live your life with your wife. I’ll be fine, I promise.” You offer him another smile before turning back around because you didn’t want to see that his eyes too were welling up with tears. 

“Y/N, please.” He takes another step towards you but you shake your head. 

“Go, please.” You whisper. “Harry, go!” You hear his sigh before he finally does as you asked him. You fall to your knees after you hear your front door close a second later. You sob into your hands as you hear his car start and drive off. You had just lost your best friend and that left a large hole in your heart that you knew would take time to heal. 

When Thursday rolled around, you hadn’t spoken a word to Harry. He had called a few times but never left a message and never sent a text. You originally had planned to sit around at home today but decided you needed some fresh air. So, you went on a walk. You left your phone at your house as you didn’t want to get texts from friends telling you how beautiful the wedding was or how much they wished you were there. They all thought you were out of town as well, none of them knowing you had really confessed your love to the groom. 

You look down at your watch and see that the wedding was going to be starting five minutes from now as you reach a small park not far from your home. You fall onto a bench and put your face in your hands as you begin to cry. When the minute hit that you knew Harry would be about to say his vows, the sobs came. You couldn’t hold them back. You knew you loved him, but now - realizing just how unattainable he was - you realized just how badly your heart had been drawn to him. 

“Y/N...” You jump when you hear that voice behind you. You had heard that voice so much over the years and it was the last you had expected to hear right now. You turn, standing from your seat, to see none other than Harry himself standing a few paces away from you. He was dressed in his tux, the top buttons of the shirt undone, the jacket completely unbuttoned and the bow-tie hanging untied around his neck. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets and a forlorn look on his face. 

“Harry,” You gasp, wiping at your wet cheeks. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting married right now?” You frown at him. He bites at his lower lip before taking a step towards you. 

“I should be, yes.” He nods. He squints at you, the sun bright and shining behind you, but you could still see the pain in his eyes. “All I have been thinking the las’ three days though is wha’ you said.” You sigh, shaking your head. 

“Harry, please-” He cuts you off though, not letting you continue. 

“I have gone through every emotion since tha’ nigh’.” He starts, shaking his head. You were trying to gauge his emotions now but he was hard to read so you stayed silent and let him continue. “I was confused that nigh’, and the next mornin’ I was angry.” He sighs, reaching up to push back his long curls from his forehead and he eyes you, his eyes narrowed. “Angry because how dare you tell me tha’ when I was about to ge’ married?” You open your mouth to respond but he shakes his head and silences you with a look. “Not because I didn’ wan’ to hear you say those words but why did you have to wait so long, love? All I have ever wanted was you bu’ you never wanted me so I gave up. I moved on.” Your mouth drops open, a deep frown forming on your face. That is definitely not what you were expecting. “Or I though’ I had moved on, at least.”

“What?” You squeak out. “Harry... what do you..” You trail off, unsure of what to say or how to respond to that. Did he just say he had feelings for you? He did. Whoa. Your mind was racing and you didn’t know how to process anything. 

“I woke up then the next day and the anger had turned to sadness. I woke up, looked over at the girl tha’ I was goin to marry and tha’s when the doubt started.” He sighs, taking yet another step closer to you. “I should have realized she wasn’ who I truly wanted before I asked her to marry me and not righ’ when we were supposed to do it bu’.. I though’ if I couldn’ have you I should find someone else.” 

“So you called off the wedding?” You question him. “Seemingly right before it was supposed to start.” You say, eyeing his tux. He gives a small laugh, looking down at it as well and nods. He pulls at the lapels of the jacket and then sighs, giving a shrug of his shoulders. 

“I was about to go take my place when I realized I couldn’... I couldn’ get up there unless the girl who was goin’ to walk down the aisle to me was you.” He spoke these words so softly as he took another step towards you. One more step and he would reach you. You look up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. 

“So you’re a runaway groom?” You couldn’t help yourself as you give a small grin. He actually breaks into a grin as well. That dimple that you loved making an appearance. 

“’spose I am.” He sighs then, his smile falling. 

“And what did the bride have to say about this?” You wonder. You hoped she didn’t take it too hard. But then... she probably did and that sucked. You truly did like her. It wasn’t anything personal, you were just in love with her fiance. 

“She understood. She told me that she knew I loved you when we first met and I introduced the two of you. Said she’s always been jealous of you.” You were unsure of how to respond so you just bite at your lower lip, looking up at him still but he continues on. “She told me to go to you. She knows you’re who I’m meant to be with, she understands and told me to treat you righ’.” He gives a small smile. “I ran here from there. Went to your house firs’ but when you weren’ there I figured you migh’ be here since I know you come here to think sometimes.” 

“Because driving a car was too much work?” You joke, shaking your head. He laughs, shrugging. He then steps forward and reaches out, taking you by the hips. He pulls you against him. You stood there, stunned as your hands go to rest on his chest. You look up into his stunning green eyes. His face was so close to yours, you could feel his breath rushing across your face. 

“My car was blocked in, didn’ feel like finding someone to take me and knew it wasn’ too far.” He gives a small shrug and his arms tighten around you more. “Besides, isn’ it romantic that I ran all the way from my wedding jus’ to tell the girl I love that I’m in love with her?” You couldn’t keep the grin from your face then, and neither could he. 

“And a cliche.” You respond as your hands find his cheeks, taking his face in your hands. “But adorable none the less.” And with that, you press your lips against his. You had pictured kissing Harry so many times over the years but nothing compared to the feel of his lips actually on yours. “I love you, Harry.” 

“I can’ believe we’ve both been too afraid to tell each other how we feel.” He says after kissing you again gently. “Today could have been our wedding day if we had.” 

“I don’t know if I’d really want to get married on a Thursday though.” You joke, earning a laugh and a grin from him, making you grin as well. 

“Jus’ kiss me and be quiet, you cheeky girl.” You can’t help the girlish giggle that falls from your lips before your mouth finds his again.

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[carriiieee]

The Pyramid Scheme

Note: long word blocks of what happened before actually going into long word blocks of explaining what happened. - - - A few days ago, Kyle and I stopped by Trader Joe's for some quick grocery pick up. Of course, my mind was solely on the Sharetea afterwards, and we only parked in the 45min lot. As we browsed the dried fruit and nuts aisle for our oatmeal toppings, our view was immediately obscured by a young couple. The friendly guy, after sizing up Kyle quickly, asked Kyle whether the shoes he was wearing was Merrell's. After Kyle confirmed, the guy asked about whether the shoes were worth buying and started a conversation with him. Meanwhile, I didn't really feel the need to nudge Kyle to leave, which left me to shift my attention to the girl instead and start a conversation with her. It turned out, the couple are employed in biology labs at UCI. The girl and I talked a bit about our career trajectories. Since I had a background in STEM, it was easy to relate to her and to the fact she has hit a wall in her career because she only has a bachelors. There's really no way to climb higher unless she goes for a higher degree. We discussed a bit about her prospects of pursuing a PhD or masters, and she wished me luck in my endeavor to finish my PhD soon. Overall, it felt like a very normal conversation. At a good stopping point, I glanced at Kyle to see if he was done talking, but the other guy redirected the conversation to all four of us. After finding out that we just recently got engaged and moved in together, which they did as well last year, the guy asked us about how we spend time together after work. Of course, being me, I jokingly complained how after work everyday, Kyle naps for 2-3 hours before he could actually pay attention to me. The guy laughed and said that they feel the same way. After work, they are just too burned out to really cherish the time of being physically together. Then this became a discussion of how time with family and loved ones are important, how work does get in the way, and he's glad that another couple feels the same. Then, out of nowhere, from my perspective, he said that they were recently connected with this other couple who were able to retired early, the girl at 28 and the guy at 32. He then told us how that has significantly increased the quality of life for the other couple. He then spewed out a bunch of other things that were directed towards this idea of improved quality of life without explicitly telling us how the couple has done it. Then, kind of leaving it at that, he asked about me and what I do. That went on for another good 5min or so before the couple said, oh we should leave you to your grocery shopping. It was great to meet like minded people as you, and just as a last thing, let me know if you want me to connect you with this other couple to see how they retired early. Again, I was so aloof, and said, oh no. I'm good. I just want to focus on graduating right now, and looked at Kyle for his response, which he said, I am also good. Both of us have a very aggressive life plan with retirement funds and investments. I was SO confused as to why he worded that way, but I wasn't paying attention to what they were discussing before. The guy laughed and said, of course, look at him, he's wearing Patagonia, as to insinuate that both of us are pretty well off. I kind of took offense at that, because being well off wasn't a privilege or a lucky happenstance for us, it was something we created from scratched. After they finally left, Kyle immediately asked me, do you know what happened? What do you mean? It's a pyramid scheme, like Amway. I was going to ask them if it was Amway. Amway. That keyword rang a bell and I vaguely remembering reading a HBR on this. A pyramid scheme is a business model that recruits members into its network by promising its new members a share of money taken from every additional member that they recruit. The new members often have to pay a hefty fee upfront to purchase the company goods, tangible or intangible, to "sell" to other people. As newer members recruit more underlings, a portion of the subsequent fees they receive is also kicked up the chain. For those sitting at the top of the pyramid, whether they actually do work or not, get a share of that money. It is a constant funneling of money from the bottom to the top. This scheme is usually unstable with the bottom 95% earning no money and actually losing money. Thus, the pyramid scheme is usually illegal in many places. Example: Young Living https://static.youngliving.com/en-US/IMAGES/incomedisclosurestatement_image_us.jpg. 94% of all its members are distributors who earn a median of $0. This is ridiculous. Essentially, as the guy was conversing with Kyle, Kyle picked up cues that the guy was trying to recruit us for one of these schemes. He was going by the book, step by step. First, you spark a conversation, usually by making a connection with the person; what can you say to someone by only looking at them. Second, you talk a bit and once you feel comfortable enough, you basically try to gauge whether the person is interested in making his or her life easier by either retiring early or making however much money. Lastly, allude to a second party, not yourself, to help set up a meeting to describe more about the opportunity. I asked Kyle how he knew these details, he said that he knew many people when he was in college who tried taking advantage of their network by selling goods to and recruiting people. It ruined several of his friendships with people. I then asked why he didn't just stop the conversation and pull me away. He said that the insert of the "other couple" was rather late in the conversation so he couldn't be sure until then. Besides, I looked like I was having fun talking to the other girl, lol. (But I really just wanted to get my boba and not get a ticket in our 45min parking lot.) I wondered why they didn't target me, since women may be more gullible in some sense, but Kyle pointed out the fact that for what I was wearing then, there were really no physical cues for them to pick up as conversation starters. For him, it was Merrell and Patagonia. It seems that they might be looking for rich people. I had to think a bit about this deduction and whether it made sense. If the company was selling actual tangible goods, going for the rich people seems futile. I would think rich people already have somewhat of an expensive and established taste in brands that are known for the quality. People can be extremely loyal to brands. It is less possible for them to sell lesser known and random brands to the rich people. However, if they are selling a "lifestyle," which I guess seems to be in line with what the guy was saying, then rich people is probably a good starting point because only they have the means to improve their lives by spending a couple of extra bucks. For more those who are making only sufficient income to get by day to day, they cannot spend their money on something as a "lifestyle." I also pointed out that the girl didn't really make a move on me, to which Kyle said, yeah, maybe because she was just bad at it. This also takes me back to a time we were at Target, and this guy, younger than us, talked to Kyle for so long asking about how he was able to style his hair a certain way. I asked, could he have tried to do the same thing? Maybe, but he never brought himself to get to that point. I felt cheated. I thought they were genuine people. Kyle thought less gravely of the situation, for they are not hurting anyone. However to me, certain practices don't actually have to "hurt" anyone to be unethical. The pyramid schemes are scams that exploit the masses. They are very old forms of fraud and con tricks. Modern technology has greatly increased their potential to be a worldwide issue. The model promises lucrative commissions for those at the bottom, which for them, it is an opportunity to get rich fast. But in reality, the model is exacerbating the gap between the rich and the poor. This post is getting too long, so I'll stop here. I hope everyone is more aware of these sort of tricks, and this Reddit post (as we all know a super reliable source :P) has some great comments on the warning signs. https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2kw7gv/eli5_what_is_a_pyramid_scheme_and_how_do_i/

[hnnhhlyn]

To the person who withdrew themselves in a flash, all due to a Skype call gone wrong:

I want you to know that I’m not mad. Sometimes I know you'll think of me. It’s selfish of me, but I’m glad. It makes me feel needed, wanted. Even though we don’t talk I do care. I know you’ll look at this and think about how pathetic I am…but I just want you to know I’m thinking of you too. Every time our old song comes on I miss you and wish things didn’t end the way they did but there’s no way to go back and change things now. I just hope you know I still think of you and wish you nothing but the best. I hope you know that I’m doing better than ever and that I was okay without, am okay without you.

I can’t tell you how much I miss the way that you use to play me guitar when I was sad or strum along to my favorite songs just because you wanted to see me smile. Our late night Skype calls turning into early morning ones. You were here for me when no one else was…not even Kaylee. You watched me go through hell and back with her but stood on my side the entire time. You always told me that it’d be okay…and I’m so glad that you were right about that. I wish that we could still have those plans for me to drive up to see you when I get my license. I wish that I could still text you and tell you about my day, knowing you’d listen. I’ve found others but you’re not easily replaceable, I can tell you that for sure.

I’m going to college this fall and I have gotten all A’s + B’s and scholarships to help with the tuition fees. Kaylee and I are moving next summer to go to South Carolina. We just got back from vacation from Florida less than a month ago. We’re going back down this winter. I just got a job at Panera on Thursday and I’m planning on saving everything I can. I am getting a tattoo soon, that’s one of the many things you and I talked about. I talked to my dad for a hot minute there but he ruined things all over again. He’s kicked to the curb again. I’ve completely moved out and in with Kaylee and the world is just a brighter place now. I can go to bed with her in my arms and wake up with her each day. It’s better than I could’ve ever imagined. We have a vacation planned for Cedar Point this summer for our 2 year anniversary, crazy how time flies. I can’t even gauge the amount of time it’s been since the last time we spoke.

It’s getting late and I’ve made myself sad thinking about all the things that could’ve been in our friendship. I want to apologize again for how they ended up. I want you to know that I was just scared and uncomfortable and I never meant to hurt you. I want to apologize for leading you on, despite the fact of not knowing that’s what I was doing. I hope you know I think about you sometimes. Goodnight.