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#i will stop harping on about this now
vampyrsm · 1 year
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sunlessveils · 3 months
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The household of Dr Cards.
Most are surprised to find the doctor lives so secluded in the marshes, what secrets does he keep there? The truth is not far below the surface. The secret is his daughter,Clara, Sent from the surface by her mother due to her "unladylike" behaviour.
While her claims of singing from the marshlands and Visions of miracles are a source of some concern the doctor ensures she's well protected and cared for.
Rumours stick to the girls caretaker, miss Harpe, that say she used to be a vake hunter. Though most whispers follow the House's guardsman, A faceless fellow in ancient armour but with no lacking in its sword arm. are they dedicated to reenactment or did the doctor animate a suit of armor,or the bones of a long dead warrior, to ensure the safety of his constantly wandering child and the staff?
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ledatoons13 · 2 years
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maybe it's just me but I don't mind that Grime doesn't have a prosthetic arm and it kinda feels fitting
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starbuck · 2 years
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HEY CAN YOU VULTURES STOP COMMENTING THIS SHIT ON MY POST, PLEASE???????????
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freebooter4ever · 3 months
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i think the thing that really gets my goat is when all these people - from official commentators to fans - say that the best solution is to 'just take a shot at the net, just shoot!'
if the answer to scoring difficulties truly required zero strategy or team finesse and cooperation between players, and simply needed more shots at the net to win.... a lot more teams would be doing better right now lol.
its like last year when all anybody could talk about for the rangers was telling artemi 'shoot more shoot more!' and this year, admittedly, he is doing that. so all these people are patting themselves on the back like 'yes, he took my advice, im smarter than a hockey player'. when if you actually watch him he's doing a lot more than just shooting differently than last year. he's being a lot more aggressive and confident for one thing, and he and troch have built up a sixth sense between each other thats a little alarming in how well it works sometimes.
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koushirouizumi · 6 months
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Some Digi-fan: They're/you're spelling Rui's name wrong!!1!1! {+Koushiro's!!!!!} {+Jou's!!1!} ME: For one thing, you're the one who's wrong, who also clearly doesn't understand how Japanese romanization into English works and nearly ALL of the variations ARE valid translations, and you cannot make me or anyone else use "Lui" if we don't want to!!!
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thosetruthsaboutme · 9 months
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I feel like I was wounded in the darkness of the womb.
The scars are still there, raised like hackles to bristle themselves against me, their foe.
Teaching myself survival after feeling the raised edge feels like a loss.
Teaching myself to survive my hatred feels like a loss.
Teaching myself to live feels less like freedom.
I cannot hold kindness or love.
Complaints only a symptom of weakness.
I am not weak. I endure. I endure. I endure.
I can survive anything that comes to kill me.
Waking to newly formed scratches and bites on my psyche confirms the abhorrence I have for myself.
The days bleed together, I see the changes within me.
I've turned into something unheld and unlovable, listen.
This isn't just despair. This is reality no longer hidden.
Hands in constant open reaching out to grasp another's.
Met by cold indifferent blade
Adding to the scars when it pulls away.
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eldstunga · 6 months
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Okay I swear I’ll stop harping about this one day but they BANNED “”female presenting nipples””(lol) destroying the best art community in the process - and now i have to scroll through half a dozen ads for AI apps that promise Ai-generated porn using the stolen likenesses of actresses, while “live” is hardstuck to the top of the screen offering scantily clad ladies.
You literally made it a thousand times sleazier AND killed your entire userbase. Dipshits. Gah!
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bunny584 · 4 months
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OBSESSED: YUTA
A/N: Sweet, innocent, puppy-eyed boy who is no better than the frat boys you detest 🤭 (this is for anon who requested a lil crazy special grade sorcerer doing ungodly things!! Shoko feat The Boys ™️ is up next, then I SWEAR I’m done and back to AO3)
C/W: Aged up characters, College AU. Masturbation. Mature, 18+
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“YUUTA?! Are you kidding me?”
You stop time.
Heads turn in his direction. But Yuuta doesn’t register any it because of your smile.
The 1000-kilowatt smile that the locker room rumors about. The smile that stops traffic. The one that obliterates his train of thought.
365 days since he’s seen it in person.
And suddently the year in Morocco for his University degree feels frivolous.
Yuuta places two bottles of disgustingly expensive champagne (courtesy of Satoru Gojo) in between the half filled red solo cups.
He’s doing his best to keep his eyes above your delicate, sharp collarbones.
He’s doing his best not to follow the Barbie pink hair string around your neck.
The Barbie pink string connected to the triangular bikini that is defying the laws of gravity, Mother Nature, AND physics to keep your busty, perky chest supported.
Not to mention the sheer netted tissue thin excuse for a cover up. Draped around the curve of your hips. It warms him hotter than the Moroccan sun.
You wire yourself through the crowded sorority house kitchen. And Yuuta gnaws on his inner cheeks. The predatory stares from from the frat drones scattered about ignites a guttural flame.
But he’ll deal with that later.
Because Aphrodite is barreling toward him and he is not worthy.
“I can’t believe you made it!” You launch yourself into him.
“I wouldn’t miss it. Happy 21st birthday, gorgeous.”
One of his arms is more than sufficient enough to wrap around your baby doll frame. Other hand in his pocket, while he easily lifts and spins you around twice.
Airy giggles spill from your lips. So clearly surprised by how strong he has grown. He’s bulkier. More toned. Hell of a lot more confident too.
Is he showing of a little? Of course he is.
“You’re here. You’re really here.” You stare up at him with stars in your eyes. Still in utter disbelief.
Your tiny, warm hands cup his face. Yuuta subconsciously melts into them. You always did strum his body like a harp.
“Yuuta, you must be so tired. Your bedroom eyes are even more…bedroom-y.” You tease.
Yuuta laughs to choke down a groan. He doesn’t need a mirror to know he’s stained mulberry right now.
Because why would you mention a bedroom while you are wearing a bikini he could snap with his eyes?
“Hey, be nice! You know there’s no amount of caffeine that can fix the bags.” Good, fucking save.
He swallows thickly and averts his gaze. If he keeps looking at you, he’d drown. Like how he drowned freshman, sophomore and junior year.
A continent, couple oceans and a sea away from you couldn’t keep him afloat.
A palpable silence drapes over the two of you. There’s so much he wants to say.
“Who’s is the hot guy birthday girl is talking to?”
“Okkotsu, I think.”
“No WAY. If she doesn’t fuck him i—“
“OKAY!!!” You exclaim loudly, prompting giggles from your sorority sisters behind you.
Your cheeks are now matching his. You both burst into incredulous laughter, letting some of the pressure out of the proverbial valve.
“Give me a tour, birthday girl.” Yuuta grazes his fingers over your bare shoulders because he can’t not touch you.
Your hand magnets to his wrist and you both beeline up the stairs. He knows, you know, -you both know- you are heading straight to your bedroom.
Yuuta’s heart is throbbing so hard his whole rib cage is vibrating. Cotton lines every corner of his mouth and he’s suddenly forgotten how to swallow.
Forgotten how to breathe apparently too, because he chokes on air when you pull him to the front of your room door.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” you muse playfully.
And now his cock is at full staff. The measly silver zipper is definitely not strong enough for this.
“I-Im sorry?” Yuuta gurgles through the saliva pooled in his mouth like a hungry puppy.
“It’s a pool party, silly. C’mon, you can use my bathroom to change.”
Yuuta makes the mistake of letting his eyes drop down the dip of your pretty spine. Tracing all the way down to your matching bikini bottom. That’s a thong. Lining between your perfect, plump ass.
God.
No.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
He follows behind you, nails digging into his dark jeans.
“Bathroom’s through the closet, be quick.” You flash him another pristine grin and…and..
..what is his name again…?
Yuuta returns your smile with a lopsided one of his own. The walk to the bathroom is 13 miles long. There’s no way. No way he’s going to be able to hide his unreasonable, rock hard length through his weightless swim trunks.
He halts. Suddenly enchanted by your hanging clothes. Like a Venus fly trap. You’re everywhere.
Your clothes. Your delicious scent. Your jewelry. Your shoes.
Yuuta is in the eye of your vortex.
A long, silky sleeve tickles his cheek. So soft. Electric currents surge through every engorged vessel in his cock. He takes in a long drag of the faint cherry vanilla notes etched into your clothes.
An addict. A hopeless, pathetic addict in a field of his vices.
His fingers earthquake against his buckle. Clumsily stepping out of his jeans.
Just a quick touch. It’ll help him relax. Just really fast, you won’t know.
Yuuta whips around to bury himself in your silk shirt. Heart thundering in his ears. Fingers tickling the hem of his trunks. Shaft fully tented from nothing.
“Yuuta? Did you get lost in there?” Your dulcet voice knock Yuuta’s lust-drunk thoughts loose.
“Ha-N-no! I’m c-coming!”
Yuuta shakily unbuttons his white linen shirt, exposing his lean but chisled core. His cock is diamond hard. Any slight movement and his blunt, leaky tip will peek over the hem.
He strategically folds his pants over the indecent bulge. He just has to count backwards from 500 then he’ll soften and leave the jeans behind.
“Come out!! I won’t bite!” You coax again.
The second Yuuta re-emerges from your closet, he digs the heel of his palm into his crotch. Trying to will his erection down by sheer force because counting just won’t do.
You’re sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning against your palms flat on the duvet.
Your bikini has grown smaller.
It has to have.
Because the way your supple tits spill around the cruel joke that is that top fucks his brain to mush.
Soft curvy lines of your breasts. Feminine pretty lines of your tummy. The swell of your thighs just begging for Yuuta’s lips, his hands…his dick. He could drop to his knees and worship at your alter this second.
“Oh my god!” You giggle again, waving him over to the bed.
“You’re so, big, now.” Your hand lingers on his tensed bicep, currently losing the war against his cock angrily thrashing around in his pants.
“Am I?” Yuuta asks stupidly. Long sentences are off the table.
“Mmhm,” he watches your eyes lazily drink in his face. He must be an embarrassing shade of violet at this point.
Your hand makes its way into his hair and Yuuta just couldn’t choke down the “ohh,” that bubbles out of him.
“God, I’ve missed you, Yuuta.” Your face is so soft. So earnest.
And Yuuta is there with you, he swears he is. It’s just, you’re speaking directly to his cock right now and all the blood has drained from his head to his head.
“I mi-missed you. More.” He manages to grunt out, precum pooling on his thigh.
Hold it together. Fucking hold it together.
You turn your body and scoot closer to him. The peaks and valley of your cleavage, tantalizing him into a mindless fool who can only think about fucking his fist.
“Guys here suck. But not you. You’ve always been amazing,” you murmur, circling feather light shapes against Yuuta’s scalp.
He shudders under your touch. Biting his cheeks so his jaw doesn’t hang open. Drool already threatening to leak from his lips.
“So kind and sweet.” Your eyes drop to his lips at the same that your hand falls to his tensed abs.
And Yuuta is caught in your quick sand. His limbs loosen. Hand on his crotch melts away. Allowing his member to spring upward with all the blood he has in his body. The sudden movement causes his jeans to slide to the floor.
His ears and cheeks burn at his indecency. But he can’t move. He is at your complete mercy. His cock rhythmically pumping out his precum now.
“I..” Yuuta croaks, but in one dizzying motion you dive your lips onto his.
He snaps.
Yuuta’s left hand flies to his neglected, weapy shaft. The friction through his thin trunks evoke a deep moan into your mouth. His other hand grips the back of your head, pressing you forward onto his tongue. He didn’t ask for entry into your lips like he normally would. It’s too dire. He’s too needy.
His hand pumps his length while his tongue maps every corner of your warm mouth. You let out soft, high pitched sighs. Which nearly bring him to finish instantly.
“Oh, Yuuta.” You moan his name. And Yuuta’s hips rut harder into his hands.
He’s hoping, praying you’re too distracted by the bruising kiss to notice the pitiful way he’s bucking his hips. Humping his hand. He’s no better than the guys you were talking about. No better.
“OH BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!!!” Shrill voices from just outside your door rip you two a mile apart.
Yuuta scrambles to his feet, his arm unsuccessfully covering his crotch. You are panting, thumb stroking your bottom lip. Both of you still brimming with your electric chemistry.
“Enough birthday sex!!! Time for TEQUILA!” Your sorority sisters babble and laugh, about 2 seconds away from opening the door.
You grip the handle. Face and body flushed warm rose.
“I-I-uh I have to-“
“Ye—yeah of course, I’ll meet you, down. I’ll meet you down there.”
Both of your voices nervously collide. Looking everywhere but each other’s eyes. You flutter out in haste. Leaving Yuuta in the middle of your room rock hard and a pre cum covered mess.
Like leaving a fiend with an array of illicit substances.
Yuuta turns on his heel and disappears into your closet. He’s not thinking. Logical thought has long ceased to exist. All he can think about is how much his balls ache for you. How drunk he is off your touch. Your taste. Your smell.
His eyes laser down to a crumpled pair of lace panties just a few paces away from your hamper.
Yuuta’s gaze could burn it through the floor.
Stop, Yuuta. Don’t you dare.
He scolds himself. Even though his hands do the opposite. He drops to his knees and pulls his heavy cock free from its barrier. The other hand toying with your worn panties.
He’s filthy. A dirty, nasty scumbag.
Yuuta tugs his cock, aggressively. Jaw hanging open. Short desperate huffs of air escaping his lips.
No, don’t. Stop. “Nnhhgh s-top…fuck..n-no.” His jagged thoughts and jagged words intertwine. Squelching noises from his arousal pierce through his groans.
Yuuta brings your panties to his nose, and nearly blacks out. Your scent. So fucking delicious. So perfect.
He needs to taste.
His groans become garbled when he stuffs your panties into his mouth. Every single nerve ending in his body ruptures.
Yuuta pumps his cock with both hands. Feverish. Sloppy thrusts of his hips colliding with his white knuckled fists. The world around him dampens. Blurs.
“Nnnghh..uhhgh..f-FUCK,”
Your spit-drenched underwear rolls out of his mouth onto his sensitive tip. Ropes, and ropes and ropes of his cum fill your soft négligée.
Yuuta hangs his head back, leaning against his calves. His dick still twitching through his nirvana.
After a few moments, the fog slowly lifts from his mind. His vision returns. Yuuta wipes the remnants of his arousal off his cock with your panties. Before tucking them into his pocket.
Unable to look himself in the eye, he quickly rinses his hands, intending to rejoin your party at once.
But, when his hand connects with the cold knob, a voice in the back of his mind pipes up.
Take another one.
And in a trance-like state, Yuuta rushes back to your closet hamper to find another pair of your panties.
A pretty, delicate red number catches his eyes and he stuffs it into a free pocket before scurrying out of your room.
He’s no better than them.
He’s worse.
PART II
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irishmammonagenda · 2 months
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Death is a Debatable Thing-Obey Me x Reader
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Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as an angel, as per usual; chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: Mention of Death, Cursing, Torture (mentioned, no torture happens) Michael is featured heavily in this, I just made up a personality for him, I don't play NB a lot (it makes me too sad) and I think he shows up there so if this is different to how he's portrayed there then L for me. Everyone except Luke was written as and can be read as Romantic(/platonic if you prefer)You can read Michael as Romantic, but I wrote him more Platonically.
post dividers from @saradika-graphics on tumblr (their dividers r really cool check them out if u havent fr (sorry for tagging you btw i just wanted to give credit)
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"Absolutely not." You say, looking at your new found wings. "I did not die just to be reincarnated with the ugliest clothing I've ever seen."
"Would you have preferred to have been reincarnated as bare as Eve was in Eden?" The man you'd come to know as Michael. His dark skin shone in the blessed light of the celestial realm, his thick curly hair was pinned back in such a delicate fashion you wanted to unpin all the ornaments in it. Your fingers twitched at your sides.
"Isn't that against modesty rules or something...?" You paused, Simeon was an angel, he essentially had his ass out at all times anyway. Whore.
Michael stares at you weirdly, before playing with one of the loose strands of his hair, pulling the tight coil until it was completely straight before letting go and letting it spring back up again. Now you really wanted to mess up his hair. Just to annoy him.
"So anyway..." You start, sitting on a cloud that you fall through. For a moment you think you're about to pull a Lucifer and fall through the sky, but you manage to grab onto something and pull yourself up. That something is Michael's ankle and he's laughing at you, wiping a tear from ruby red eyes that shine just like that of his fallen brother.
"Stop laughing at me! Anyway, when can i go to the Devildom?" You inquire, watching Michael's face turn stern. He glares down at where you're lying, still gripping his ankle
"You're not returning to the Devildom anytime soon." He says sharply.
Your breath hitches. "Why not?! I have to let the brothers and Dia and Barbs and Sol and everyone else know I didn't die!"
"You did die. Why do you think you're an angel." Michael sighs, "and no. You're not letting them know you've returned."
"Why not?!" You repeat, outraged. "No offence though MC, but you´ve just died." "So?" You reply with indignation. "So," Michael says in a mocking tone, pitching his deep voice up high before letting it fall down the octaves once more. "You're barely able to walk on clouds or do anything yet. Letting you down to the Devildom is the equivalent of sending a baby bird into a den of lions."
"But...they'd protect me." You said softly, Michael's tone softens as well, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"They'd also over-protect you, they've just lost you. I don't think you're ready for that smothering just after your death."
You nod. Michael's soft expression turns devious, "Plus, this way, you have plenty of time to think about how youre going to scare my broth-...the brothers and everyone else whilst proving you're alive...well an angel..."
You grin too. "Amazing point Mr Michael."
He plays with his golden locks again, an idiosyncracy. "Anytime" He grins before beginning to walk again, you grab onto his ankle tighter. "Oh and Mc?"
"Yeah?"
"Call me Mr Michael again and I'm shaving all you hair off. And trust me. Angel hair does not grow back." He smiles evilly. You shudder.
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Well it turns out Michael is a fucking liar.
After being a little bit too bored during your second month of being an angel and first month of learning not to fall through the clouds in Michael's private garden that consists purely of clouds and a singular harp he stole from some poor Irish Deity, you go bored and snipped your unnaturally long angel hair up to your waist. You didn't want to go too short just yet.
In the time frame of a week you learnt two things.
One: Angel hair does grow back, maybe a tiny bit faster than human hair, and Two, Michael was babysitting the harp. Turns out the Deity was called the Dagda and he was visiting France on holidays for some reason, poor man, having to go to France and deal with all the French People there. Turns out he left the harp in Michael's hands, something about Fomoranians not being smart enough to see this one coming.
You just nodded and slowly backed away. Michaels red eyes followed you. He and Lucifer had to be twins.
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Another day passed. The more you thought about it, the more Michael and Lucifer had to be twins. After having cut your hair to just below your shoulders, you found a piece of unnecessarily fancy parchment paper and a quill on Michael's desk
Holding the black quill in your hands you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. Was that?....
No fucking way.
Michael was using one of Lucifer's feathers as a quill. You cackled.
After much deliberation you'd realised you could not write with a quill, but also that you were very good at ripping paper and making blotches of ink on said paper with a quill.
You decided to snoop in Michael's desk for a pen, instead you found a drawer titled, 'LUKE ONLY' in cursive letters, the label was stuck to the drawer so obviously you opened it.
Colouring books, letters written by Luke from the Devildom, Report Cards, Crayons, Drawings, and a pack of stickers were left in the drawer, a notepad lay next to it, Michael's cursive handwriting all over it 'Activities to do', it had things like 'Bowling' and 'Baking' and 'Gardening' and 'Teach him how to knit' and 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Prank Jesus' and 'Take him to Human Realm Cinema' and and anything else really. You cooed, your ivory wings rustling happily.
You grabbed a crayon and began to write.
WHY MICHAEL AND LUCI ARE TWINS one; same eyes two; both evil three; both hot four; satan is basically luci's son if you think about it and michael has blond hair too, if luci and michael are twins that means that blond hair is in the gene pool and thats how satn has blond hair even though luci has black hair five; both like wearing dramatic cape coat things six; both of them baby luke seven; they ha
"What are you doing?" Michael asks, startling you, and ruining your next point of 'they have hands', "Why is my drawer open?" He grabs the parchment from you, reads it and bellows out in laughter.
"We are twins you could've asked." He smiled, "also put the crayon back thats Red and Luke likes colouring in Teddy Bears red."
"Yessir."
You were a master conspiracy theorist.
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In the end, you and Michael had decided on visiting the Devildom for 'diplomatic' reasons, but upon seeing the glint in his eyes it was probably more for 'dicklomatic' reasons seeing as he's an utter dickhead.
You had a veil covering your face, seeing as you were still kind of legally and widely believed to be dead.
You know, the usual.
You walked behind Michael, attempting to kick at the back of his knees, it never worked sadly. You took a deep breath as you reached the RAD council room doors.
Michael grabs you by your shoulders whispering into your ear. "Now remember MC im going to use you as a bargaining tool, so keep that veil on till i say so, got it?" He grins.
You nod, knowing that 'bargaining tool' in Michaelish translates to 'im bored and want to see a dramatic reunion'
Michael opens the doors.
You walk in with him but stand at the door awkwardly, steeling yourself so you don't immediately run into any of your idiots' arms.
Luke apparently had the same idea, as when he saw Michael, he let out a happy 'yip!' kind of sound similar to a puppy's and then ran from where he stood beside Simeon and Solomon into the Archangel's arms.
Michael catches him happily, petting his head as the young angel nuzzles into his hair, blabbering on about who knows what. Asmo takes a photo of it, everyone else stares with varying levels of fondness, awkwardness and 'meh'.
Sadly for you however, once Simeon is done greeting Michael, and Michael is now distracted by Luke introducing him to Barbatos who is apparently the 'bestest baker in the world!' (you could agree with that sentiment), Simeon walked over to you, his serene smile on his face.
"Hello, I'm Simeon, forgive me for asking, but do I know you? You have a familiar aura."
You shake your head.
"Oh, never the matter" Simeon smiles, "What's your name then. my friend?"
You clear your throat and put on a deep american accent, "Rupert...Pleasure to meet you...Simeon.."
"Are you sure we haven't met before?"
"Certain." You say in the same ridiculous voice.
Simeon nods, he excuses himself after Solomon calls him over, you turn to glance at Michael who is carrying a now sleeping Luke in his arms and gently stroking the boy's golden hair while stressing out Lucifer with questions. Satan looks on with a smirk on his face.
Glancing around the room you see similar scenes, Mammon and Levi are playing a game on the latter's switch, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are talking, sometimes glancing at you. Barbatos and Diavolo were watching Michael annoy Lucifer, with both sometimes adding their input, causing Michael to laugh loudly then stiffle it, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. Beel and Belphie were near the others but still off in their own twin world, Belphie was awake and watching Michael bully Lucifer from where his head laying sleepily on his twin's leg.
Raphael, Thirteen and Mephisto had been sent out on a top secret mission the day before, Michael had said it was because he didnt want to die and also did not want his death to be put in the RAD Newspapers, especially a picture of him that was less than flattering.
Even though everyone seemed joyous, you noticed an air of sadness, like something was missing. Looking at your old seat in the student council you see the amount of flowers set on it.
Against your better judgement, you walk towards it. Not noticing a few pairs of eyes following you.
When you reach your former desk, you notice a photo of you framed, it was you and everyone, a family photo, everyone was either in their demon, angel or reaper forms, you wore really cheap red horns with a halo you shoved on one of them whilst also wearing an old reaper robe. It looked ridiculous, you loved it.
"Enjoying yourself? Rupert.~" a honeyed voice startles you. Asmo, although, somethings in his voice, maybe anger, maybe suspicion.
"Uhhh.." You say in your fake american accent.
"I'm Asmodeus, avatar of lust.~ Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Guess so." You shrug Americanly, thankful once more the veil covers your whole face.
Asmo's eyes have some hurt in them, he seems...catty, probably because you, who he thinks is a random stranger is just standing at his dead loved one's desk.
L.
You open your mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, especially not when another familiar voice is added to the mix.
"Well hello. I don't believe we've met before. The name's Solomon. You must've heard of me."
Oh shit.
"Oh...I have, briefly! Hello Solomon, my name's Robert." You say in your fake deep american accent voice.
Asmo tilts his head, "I thought your name was Rupert?"
Shit.
"Oh. Yes" You quickly bullshit, "My name's got the hyphens, Robert-Rupert." You avoid eye contact despite the fact you have a veil covering your face that only lets you see out of it, so the sorcerer and demon can't even make eye contact with you, even if they wanted to.
This was getting awkward.
"You seem very familiar Robert-Rupert." Solomon says, you did not like that crafty smile.
"I get that a lot." You nod before walking away.
You walk towards Michael who, has a now awake but sleepy Luke in his arms, he sits on one of the sofas in the council room beside Simeon, with Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer facing them on the other sofa. Atleast you'll be safe from Solomon over here. As you walk, you notice Satan, Beel and Belphie have left. Either Lucifer was going to get pranked or Lucifer was going to get pranked but not as prankily because Beel unknowingly made puppy-eyes. Mammon and Levi were bickering quietly in a corner (shocking they could do it quietly) about who won the lat round of Devilio kart.
When Michael saw you approaching he waved you over, beckoning you to sit down in the empty space beside him, "This is an angel I'm currently training, their name is.....Steven."
Simeon tilts his head "I thought their name was Rupert?"
Michael clears his throat awkwardly.
You make your voice the deep horrible American accent, "My full name is Robert-Rupert-Steven...it's hyphenated."
Michael nods aggressively.
Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos side-eye eachother. Something was going on here.
"So, Robert-Rupert-Steven," Barbatos begins, his polite smile a little jagged at the edges, "I saw you at MC's desk earlier, how so?"
At the mention of your actual name, everyone there tenses up, Luke, thankfully is too sleepy to have realised, Michael quickly stands up with the small angel in his strong arms, knowing if he heard the conversation about to occur he would be upset, "I should probably go, give this one a walk around to wake him up a little. Simeon, would you like to come with me?"
Simeon nods, Michael and Him leave the council room, with Luke sleepily holding both of their hands and walking slowly along with them.
Now you were stuck with the Prince of the Devildom, the Scary Butler and the Scary Single-Dad. All of which haven't realised that it's you, and all of which thinking you are a random stranger.
"Well, Robert-Rupert-Steven?" Diavolo asks, his friendly demeanor the tiniest bit strange,"What captivated you to go towards MC's desk."
"Who's MC?" You decide to play it dumb. Bad decision, seeing as all three stiffen, Barbatos' being the most unnoticeable.
A very long 3 hour conversation went by, wherein, Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos as well as a certain Mammon and Levi who joined 10 minutes in, and an Asmo and Solomon who joined 12 minutes in talked about you, for 3 hours straight.
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.' was an accurate reprenstation of your mental state actually.
The urge to just rip your veil off right there was almost stronger than the urge to dropkick Maddi anytime you remembered she existed. Keyword being almost.
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You just about made it out of the council room with your life. Now for your master plan. Scare the absolute shit out of the Anti-Lucifer-League. That'll get them back for never listening to your amazing prank suggestion of leaving random origami swans around the house in random spots. It was genius!
Breaking into the House of Lamentation was always easy when you knew that Mammon hid his emergency house key behind the garden gnome that now you saw it....kind of looked like a really bad rendition of Michael. With its dark skin, A DnD-esque robe and, a horrible smiley face painted on it, and the worst crime of all, bright yellow, almost neon hair, and also a princess tiara.
You almost cackled.
Taking the key you slowly open the door to the kitchen and sneakily sneak in. Sadly for you, it was they key to the kitchen door to the outside of the back of the house, which meant it opened in the kitchen, and since it opened in the kitchen, you awkwardly waved at Beel, who was having a midnight feast.
Beel tilts his head. "You're the Angel from earlier. What are you doing here?"
You once more, fake your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice and say, "I have Materials for the Anti-Lucifer League as they've suggested."
You are such a good liar.
"Oh," Beel nods, normally he wouldn't let a stranger into the house, but something felt...familiar...and safe with you. "Okay then, do you know where you're going?"
"Yes."
Beel nods, and goes back to eating the pudding labelled 'MAMMONS: BEEL DONT TOUCH THESE'
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After much searching, you do not find the Anti-Lucifer-League, but you do unfortunately, open the door to Lucifer's office. The place where Lucifer currently is.
He looks up immediately on guard. You are not prepared to die a second time,
"What are you-" He begins, in demon form and standing up.
You interrupt him, making 'woooooh!' sounds and waving your arms about, and in your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you say "Wooooh! I am the....ghost of christmas past!...Woooh! and I am..." You pause, not noticing your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice has began to slip away, and your natural one has taken its place. "I am here to tell youuuuu.....to woohhhh! Take breaks more! Woooh!....and not overwork yourself! Woooh!"
Lucifer pauses, the danger in his eyes fades into disbelief. He knows that voice. He's spent the better part of a year listening to recordings of that voice and praying to his Father for the first time since the celestial war for that voice to return to him.
"..MC?.."
You've been found out. Quickly you put your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice back on, except it's gone up 12 pitches. "Who's MC?! Haha! What a weird thing to sa-"
You don't get to finish, as Lucifer pulls your veil off. His breath hitches upon seeing your face.
Your covers been blown. All because you pretended to be the ghost of Christmas past. Great.
Lucifer immediately pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you, as if he's afraid you'd disappear. He chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes, his frame shakes. "I thought-thought I'd lost you forever...I always thought your face was angelic...-...it's fitting."
You hug him just as tightly.
But ever the menace, after about an hour or so, you look up at the Avatar of Pride, "Say, Luci?"
"Yes, my dove?"
"Wanna help me prank the rest of them?"
"Perhaps...I might help with...some setups..." He pauses, "You are telling Barbatos outright though."
You shudder. "Of course I am. I don't have a second deathwish."
Lucifer's grip on you tightens slightly, you kiss his cheek in apology. "Sorry," You grin, "Too soon?"
"Try again in another century dear."
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The next day, the first thing you and Lucifer do is travel to the Demon Lord´s Castle.
Barbatos greets you in the Entrance Hall, "Oh, Lucifer," He nods in greeting at the eldest of the brothers (second eldest actually, seeing as Michael enjoys bragging that he's older by a whopping total of 2 minutes) he turns to you, who put the veil back on, "And Robert-Rupert-Steven, Welcome to the Demon Lord's Castle, although, I must ask, why you have shown up today?"
In your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you accidentally, against your better judgement, and rather impulsively state; "I'm here to assassinate Dia-...volo."
A portal opens, dragging you through it, and you land in the feared rumoured dungeons. Barbatos follows gracefully, now in Demon Form. Leaving a sighing Lucifer in his wake in the Entrance Hall. He decides to just journey to Diavolo's office and discuss things related to work. Barbatos wouldn't hurt you when he found out it was you so he really had nothing to worry about. Maybe you'd finally learn to stop joking about assassinating Diavolo, especally when other Noble Demons were around at Balls.
Sadly for you, you were now alone in Barbatos' Dungeons. Now what's scarier than being alone in Barbatos' Dungeons? Being alone with Barbatos in Barbatos' dungeons.
Time to run away.
As it turns out, running away isn't very easy when magic chains pin you to the wall. In your panic, you blurt out, "You know, I'd rather you pin me to the wall haha!" in your normal voice. The fear forcing your horrible puns and jokes to slip out.
Barbatos, who had been approaching menacingly calmly with a torture device pauses so fast it gives you whiplash. (Better than getting whiplash from the whip he was previously holding.)
In some display akin to a cockroach kind of squirming about after you crush it, in your chained up state you manage to twitch enough that you were able to pinch a piece of your veil's fabric just enough that it falls to the ground.
Immediately, the magic chains fall away, strong arms catch you as you stumble. "Hi Barbs..." You say breathlessly.
Barbatos looks like he'd seen a ghost. (You were an Angel, thank you very much.) After your death he had tried and tried to pull a you from another dimension. It would never work, some force stopped him each time. (To be fair, it was probably your jealous ass. No way in Diavolo were you being replaced by yourself from another dimension.)
His bottom lip trembles, much like the rest of his body, as he leans in, "May I, my dear?" You nod, giving him your consent as he kisses you so gently, as if he feared you would break or fade away.
He murmurs apology upon apology for the fact he had no doubt frightened you, he couldn't risk a threat to Diavolo, your 'death' had left him a little...tethered and emotional.
You close your eyes and kiss him again, now noticing you're in the kitchens and not in the spooky scary dungeon.
"Wanna bake cookies? Like we always used to do?"
Barbatos nods softly. "You do have to tell Lord Diavolo you're actually alive though, little lamb."
Your eyes light up. "We could make a cake! And hide me inside it!"
Barbatos sighs, but looking at your puppy eyes, he agrees. Gently he picks a stray ivory feather from your wings, making them rustle at the touch. Devil...you looked angelic.
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Baking with Barbatos was always fun, but sadly he did not agree with your attempt at throwing flour at him.
"MC?" He catches your attention, bringing an ungloved hand to caress your face, "Have I ever told you that you shine brighter than all the stars in the Devildom?"
You blush and try to cover your face when he turns away to add more eggs into your batter only to find flour on your face. That sneaky bastard! Psychological warfare is illegal. And that sure felt like it.
It was on.
Apparently it was only on for you though. Though you did get a speck of flour on Barbatos' apron. That was a win, especially if you ignore the fact that your face and apron were covered in the white powder, which you were ignoring! So take that Barbatos!
In the end, the cake was beautiful, Barbatos helped you into the cake, and cut out a you shaped hole out of the layers made.
He then helped you out again, and the Flour War began again only this time with icing.
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Hiding in a cake is quite a fun experience. Especially when you can take bites of your hiding space. Yum yum.
You feel Barbatos' wheeling of you stop as he reaches Diavolo's office, he knocks on the door, and as you requested, begins to film on his DDD (you had to promise the video would never get out of your hands.)
Diavolo sat alone, Lucifer had had to leave an hour before, Beel had went on a rampage in Hell's Kitchen again apparently.
"My Lord, I feel you have been feeling down, so here is a treat." Barbatos says, "And as a special treat, I will allow you to cut it yourself." He nods at Diavolo who you can just picture has stars in his eyes as you hear the demon butler walk to a corner of the room, still filming.
Diavolo brings the knife to the cake, as it cuts into it, you grab the blade and pull it forward. Upon hearing Divaolo's confused murmurs, You peek through the tiny hole the knife made, seeing Diavolo distracted, tilting his head like a child and asking Barbatos what he should do now.
You however know what you should do now.
Quick as a flash, you shove your hands through the cake, reach for Diavolo's arms and pull him in face first.
You didn't even care if it was probably treason. Diavolo's suprised screaming and Barbatos' slight surprised chuckle was so worth it.
It was worth it for Diavolo even after 4 hours, as he held you in his big arms, whilst the both of you were still covered in cake. Barbatos, the traitor, snapped photos of this and sent them to Lucifer.
On a great note, Diavolo agreed to help prank the rest of the brothers with you, much to Barbatos' dismay. (The butler was definitely going to help you with a certain sorcerer, however)
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After a night and day at the castle and a very extensive bath, you recollected your veil, and snuck out (read: Barbatos and Diavolo waved goodbye to you and gave you some left over cake for the journey home) of the castle, you began your walk to Purgatory Hall.
Michael was staying there, and you needed to tell him everyone's reactions so far.
It was also a Saturday, meaning that Solomon would be out in Sorcerer's society meetings all night and morning.
When you got there you made use of the tree there and climbed up it until you saw something in Luke's room. You paused your climbing and looked in through the window.
Two figures were in the Young Angel's room.
As Luke lay tucked in in his bed, cuddling the dog plushie that Mammon had given him at a carnival last year that he claims to have thrown away, Michael and Simeon sat on his bed, the nightlight on the boy's bedside table created a gentle glow that the two elder were using to read the storybook strew across both of their laps aloud, they appeared to be acting it out ever so slightly. When Luke finally drifted off. Both Angels kissed his forehead then dimmed the nightlight down slightly, dim enough where it wouldn't hurt the boy's eyes but bright enough that the dark wouldn't scare him if he woke up in the middle of the night, keeping the curtains open for added light.
You cooed silently, your white wings rustling.
Snapping out of it, you scale across the wall before finding the spare room Michael was staying in and breaking in.
"Hello Motherfucker." You greet the Archangel.
"You couldn't pay me to fuck your mother."
"Harsh. And here I was about to tell you my escapades..." You sigh dramatically. Michael immediately smiles sweetly. Buttering you up. You cave.
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After about an hour of Michael laughing at you specifically, and then changing your contact to 'ghost of christmas past' the bastard finally fell asleep.
Feeling thirsty, you snuck downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink, and also a sharpie so you could draw a mustache on Michael's face. Not bothering to put your veil on seeing as no one would be awake anyway.
As you filled up a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter drinking it, lost in your own plans, mainly of who to prank nest and how to do it.
You don't hear the little pitter-patter of feet until it's too late.
"MC?" A sleepy Luke stands in the doorway in cat themed pajamas no doubt gifted to him by a certain someone, he holds his dog plush loosely as he rubs his eyes with a tiny fist.
He walks slowly towards the cupboard, pouting sleepily when he realises he can't reach it, you immediately grab his favourite mug,(the one with the red tractor on it) knowing to put milk and some sugar in it before placing it in the microwave for 2 minutes.
Luke walks over to you still half asleep, resting his face on your side, you bring him in for a hug. "Simeon said you went to a happy place after you left, he always got sad when I asked when you were coming home..."
You bite your lip and speak softly, "My flight got delayed for a little while," You lie. Luke didn't need to know you died, Simeon hadn't told him in the best of ways to shield the young boy, that worked out in your favour.
You catch the microwave before it beeps, taking the warm milk out and stirring the hot-spots out of it before handing it to Luke. With his teddy now in the crook of his elbow, he sleepily took the mug before putting his tiny hand in yours.
"C'mon Luke, let's get you back to bed." You say softly, he nods tiredly.
"Will you tuck me in? And read me a bedtime story?" He yawns quietly.
"Of course."
After closing his curtains and tucking Luke in, he snuggles up to you and you read him a bedtime story, after drinking his warm milk, he falls asleep quite quickly, so do you.
A mistake, really. Seeing as in the morning when Simeon comes in to wake the small angel up and sees you there he lets out a shriek very out-of-character for him.
A shriek which wakes both you and Luke up.
Luke smiles toothily, "Oh Simeon! MC came back last night! Did you not see?"
Simeon collects himself, "I must've been asleep Luke, why don't you get dressed then come down for breakfast? Michael and I made pancakes. M-MC, why don't you come downstairs now?"
Luke nods and gets up dutifully.
As soon as you leave the room and Simeon is sure you're both out of the earshot of Luke, he pulls you into a hug which you return.
"I thought I'd lost you.." He breathes out softly.
"Me? C'mon Simmy...you know I'd never let death keep me." You laugh, he laughs breathlessly.
"I suppose not...." He captures your lips in a soft innocent kiss before leading you downstairs, hand-in-hand.
When Michael sees the two of you he offers you a pancake, far too casually for Simeon's taste.
Simeon looks between the two of you and glares at Michael. "You knew about this."
"Haha! Funny story actually! I need to go help Jesus! He's gone and ventured into another desert!" Michael laughs nervously before booking it, only coming back when Luke appears, knowing then he's safe from Simeon's wrath....
....for now.
You took out your super serious napkin and crayon that you stole from Diavolo (read: Diavolo gave you) and crossed out Simeon's name.
Your list was now as follows:
Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
For Satan and Belphie, you could knock out two Anti-Lucifer-League Birds with one stone. It felt a little mean to prank prank Levi and Beel...Mammon and Asmo were debatable, but you were going all out on Solomon. That'll teach him to turn you into a sheep that one time 2 years ago.
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After careful deliberation and planning, (20 seconds of thinking.) You'd decided to sneak into the Sorceror's society and jokingly attempt to assassinate Solomon, and maybe fully assassinate Maddi if she was there. Not maybe, definitely.
Veil over your head, you walked in, when the sorcerer guards stopped you, you just pretended to be Michael then walked further in. Apparently they were terrified of the Archangel. Damn this society needs better sorcerers securitying it.
After stealing schedules you realised Solomon would be in a meeting right now with a bunch of no names. Oh well.
You crept into the meeting and attempted to plunge the butter knife Barbatos' gave you from the castle kitchens specifically for this in his neck, knowing he'd dodge. "This is for the Sheep Potion you Rat Bastard!" You screech like a Bean Sídhe. After half a millisecond of shock and slight anger, Solomon realises who it is behind the veil, laughing he grabs the arm you're holding the butter knife in and drags you into his lap, gently ripping the veil off of you and giving you a peck on the forehead, before he turns to the shocked and slack-jawed sorcerers that looked older than he did. "Sorry all, my adorable partner," He puncuates the word partner by pulling you closer to him, "missed me a little too much. and has-" He kisses you on the lips passionately for a moment, leaving you very much breathless and him very much chuckling, "-strange ways of showing their affection."
Bastard.
Some time into the meeting you whisper, "How are you not more shocked?"
"Well Robert-Rupert," He whispers teasingly back to you, "Remember that binding spell we did back when you were alive? It never broke. I knew the moment I saw you."
Your heart stops. "Did you tell anyone else?"
"I debated telling Asmo, but I suppose you wanted to on your own terms." He teases.
"I should've tried to stab you with a sharper knife."
Solomon laughs, "Oh and MC my love?"
"Hmm?"
His eyes glint predatorily, "You look absolutely ravishing as an angel. I can't help but want to corrupt you..."
You bury your face in his chest to hide your blush.
Bastard.
On the bright side, now a rumour that Solomon the Wise and Michael the Archangel are secret lovers has spread around the Devildom. You're counting that as a win.
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Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
After your encounter with Solomon, you'd decided learning to just hide your angel form was the best course of action. Luckily it was fucking easy and you could've done it ages ago. Strange how Simeon and Luke never mentioned it....meh. You're pretty sure Luke just thought Michael thought you were super cool so he made you an angel. You weren't telling him anything otherwise.
´Satan and Belphie watch your fucking backs.´ was the pedal note of all your thoughts currently, you´d snuck back into the House of Lamentation, thankfully Beel was not in the kitchen, he was at Fangol at this hour.
Walking through the halls stealthily, you heard whispers as two sets of feet seemed to enter the room at the farthest end of the hallway. Lucifer´s room.
You fucking caught them.
No time to be caught in Lucifer´s room, seeing as if you were there long enough and Lucifer caught you, you would not be leaving for a good while.
So you crept up to the attic, the official Anti-Lucifer-League headquarters, you climbed the pillars to get on the roof and you waited.
Sure enough, ten minutes later, snickering could be heard coming up to the attic. Satan opens the door, letting Belphie in, both brothers in various fits of sniggering as they walk into the room.
"He'll never see this one coming!" "This is our best one yet."
From your place on the attic ceiling, you spot Lucifer filming on his DDD from the shadows of the doorway. Of course he found out about this.
"Of course it's our best one yet!"
You swing down off of the ceiling beam, swinging lightly upside down. "And you didn't invite me?" You pout.
Satan and Belphie scream, clutching onto eachother, before noticing that it's you and running to pull you down and clutch onto you instead. You notice Lucifer chuckle and put his DDD in his pocket before leaving. Traitor.
You cuddle into your two Anti-Lucifer League Brethren, maybe this wasn't so bad. (Of course it wasn't, you loved your idiots.)
Safe to say, you didn't leave the attic for a long time. Apparently people need time to process that you're not actually dead. What madness.
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House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
You had long unentangled yourself with a sleeping Belphie and Satan, making sure to leave a:
it wasnt a dream dont worry lads im alive.
note on their chests just in case.
Sitting in the attic with your napkin and crayon in hand, you ripped the Purgatory Hall part off of it and used the back of it for that note, you scanned through the list. You should save your First Man for last, so your next options were Beel, Asmo and Levi.
Seeing as you've shown yourself to Belphie, it's only natural your gentle giant is next.
Watch your fucking back Beel. Literally
Speaking of, it's been a few hours, Beel should be coming back from Fangol practice any moment now.
As was routine at this point, you crept through the House of Lamentation's halls and quickly ran into Beel and Belphie's shared bedroom.
As Beel walked into the room, his Fangol bag slung across his chest and a pile of after Fangol snacks in his hands, you braced yourself, made a run for it, anf landed right square on his back, arms around his neck to keep from falling.
"Oh hi MC!" Beel hummed cheerfully, before his eyes widened and he dropped his snacks. "MC?!"
"Hi!"
Quick as a flash, Beel maneuvers himself in 'dying cockroach you in Barbatos' dungeons part two' and grabs you into his arms.
"I thought you died..." He said, smelling your hair as he cuddled you.
"I did. I just came back as an angel."
"Really?" His breath hitches, "Can I see?.."
You take a deep breath and your wings and halo pop out, he strokes them gently.
"You're beautiful..." He whispers, enraptured...."I think...out of all of Father's creations over the years since the celestial war...you're the most precious...."
He speaks softly, always the gentle giant, the moment lasts for just a moment, before the moment, like all moments do, has passed. Beel's stomach rumbles and you giggle.
"You should eat your snacks, Beelie.."
"They always taste better when we share." He nods seriously.
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House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
Levi or Asmo? You bit your crayon in thought then immediately made a face. Crayons did not taste nice.
Speaking of things that did not taste nice, you remembered that one time you tried to eat Levi's controller because you were bored.
Levi it was!
You had to time this perfectly, waiting in the shadows until Levi went down to get a snack, you snuck into his room, saying the answer to his password out of pure habit, before sitting on his gamer chair and maneuvering it in such a way he would not be able to see anyone on it from the door.
When Levi walked into his room, a bag of crisps in hand, he took a few steps before you swung around "Boo!" and he screamed. Dropping his crisps.
After convincing him you were infact not a ghost (Unlike Lucifer's), you sat with him in your arms, watching anime, and getting caught up on the new episodes released.
You cuddled up to him in his bathtub that night. You grinned evilly. This gave you an idea.
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House of Lamentation Mammon LeviSatan Asmo Beel Belphie
It was no secret that Asmo bathed a lot. Funfact, Angels can hold their breath for 30 minutes!
As Asmo was busy picking out which pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath, you tiptoed behind him and slowly got in his bath, hiding under the bubbles.
It took a total of five minutes before Asmo closed the door to his bathroom and got into his bath, this was your chance! Reaching out, you grabbed his foot and pulled him under.
He screeched, when got back above the surface of the water, he grabbed your hand and pulled you over.
He squealed this time, hugging you tightly.
"Oh MC darling!~ I thought you were...well never the matter~...." He punctuated each word by kissing your face all over, leaving you squirming in his grasp out of embarassment. "How naughty!~ Sneaking into my bath like that...~...not that you arent always welcome my lovely!~"
"A-asmo," You say, your clothes soaked, though you couldn't find yourself caring. "Asmo, I love you..." your voice is soft and the Avatar of Lust coos.
It was a nice night.
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Time for your final victim. Your First Man. Feeling nice, you decided not to do something too mean.
Painstakingly, you made a trial of grimm from the front door to your First Man's room, more specifically; to his bed. The plan was to hide behind the door and jumpscare him while he was busy collecting the grimm.
Unfortunately for you, seeing as you weren't sure when Mammon got off his modelling shift, you'd finished far too early, and since you and Asmo were up the entire night, you were quite sleepy.
Surely a little 5 minute nap wouldnt hurt?
You woke up hours later to a sobbing Mammon on top of you, cuddling you in his arms like his life depended on it. It seems you'd falled asleep on his bed, more specifically in his nest.
In the nest you would normally sleep in while alive. (While Human technically, seeing as you are alive, just not human.)
You bring a hand to his snowy locks, he sobs harder. Like his brother, kissing all over your face softly, "Thought I lost ye' forever Hum'n" he gasps for air, his sobs quieting down, "Though' you were gone....I prayed ev'ry nigh'...." he says, voice barely above a whisper as he strokes your cheek, looking into your eyes. "I prayed ta Fath'r ev'ry nigh' since ye' died...that he'd bring ye' back te me...."
"And he did..." You say just as softly, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes, sharing a soft kiss with him. As always, your greedy lovable bastard would want more, and you'd want nothing more than to give them to him.
And the next day when you told Michael you'd be staying in the Devildom he cheered, then told you to include him in this 'Anti-Lucifer League business' because it 'seemed fun'.
Wow. Now you knew where Satan got it from. Poor Lucifer, he just barely got away from Michael in the Celestial realm, and now he has to deal with Michael 2.0 in the Devildom.
Satan and Michael really were kind of similar....maybe it's a good thing they've only met in passing.
Moral of the story kids. Death sucks, don't do it. If you do do it, reincarnate. Bam! Problem Solved.
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This is the longest ever fic I've ever wrote and probably does not make a lot of sense so I apologise for that. I also apologise for any ooc behaviour i'm still learning how to write characterisation😔✊
also i love thinking of Michael being a father figure to Luke and its very obvious
910 notes · View notes
woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
Text
Grouchy
Katrina Gorry x Baby!Reader
Summary: You're not very happy
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With Clara taking Harper to kindie, it meant that Katrina could focus on the sobbing baby that refused to settle.
You'd woken up in a foul mood with a sniffly red nose and a persistent cough that had you throwing up so much phlegm that even Harper knew something was wrong with you.
"Okay," Katrina says softly as she gently pats your back to help you clear your throat," How about a bath, huh? Would a bath be good, bubs?"
You screech in answer and try to push her away with your little uncoordinated limbs. You whine loudly when she takes you out of your onesie and slips into the bath behind you.
You usually take your baths with Harper so having Mummy sitting in the bath with you is different and strange. You screech even louder when lukewarm water is gently poured over your body in an attempt to cool you down.
You're overheated and your head is stuffed full of cotton. You try to wiggle away but Mummy's got a firm grip on you.
"You're a little grouch today, huh, bubs?" Katrina says softly when you out a particularly loud cry followed by kicking your little legs in a chance to escape. "What is it? Are you missing Harps? You know she's got kindie now."
You huff a little bit when you don't get free and opt to go limp instead. That relaxes Mummy a bit, you think, because she finally gets up out of the bath and wraps you in one of the towels nearby.
She holds you up at a distance from her as you begin coughing again, shaking her head softly. "Harps gave you a cough, huh?" She coos as she heads back into the living room," I told your Ma that kindie was a bad idea. Look at you, all sick and grouchy."
You huff again after another round of coughs.
"How about we get you a bottle, bubs? Nice, warm bottle of milk."
That's usually enough to stop whatever icky feelings you've got but you just refuse to take it today, turning your head away and forcing the nip out of your mouth whenever Katrina puts it in.
Katrina laughs slightly at your stubbornness and puts the bottle aside. You stare at her with unblinking eyes. You're still visibly sick with your cheeks burning red, bags under your eyes and the way you're taking big deep breaths through your open mouth instead of your nose.
She wipes the snot away and you scrunch your whole face up like you're insulted that she's even touching you.
"Ooh," Katrina coos softly, more than a little endeared at the little faces you're making," You're very grouchy today, bubs. Look at this little pout." She thumbs your bottom lip and you open your mouth.
She knows that this is her chance and she pops the bottle back into your mouth. Your eyebrows scrunch up at being tricked but you don't try to spit it out again while still making sure Mama knows you're angry at her as you stare unblinking up at her.
Katrina just smiles at you. Your little scrunch is just like Harper's and your even tinier hands are scrunched up like you're about to start swinging.
You break away from the bottle to drag in breath and sneeze.
"Oh! That's a big sneeze!"
You sniffle as Mama wipes your nose again and tries to give you the bottle. You refuse again and stick your tongue out and Mama laughs at you.
She's not yet gotten you dressed yet, just put you in your nappy, so you do tummy time like that.
You're not particularly enjoying it though and you make sure your annoyance is known again by letting out your signature screech.
Katrina rolls her eyes but still keeps her smile. You must be feeling pretty bad because you usually love tummy time but you keep smacking your hands on the ground and crying.
"Okay," Mama says as she picks you right back up. You don't settle quickly or easily but you're certainly calmer now that you're back in her arms rather than on your tummy time mat. "What are we going to do, bubs? You're a little funny today."
You grunt and lean against Mama's collarbone.
Katrina can feel the fever still racing through you but it's less hot than earlier. She knew that this sudden wave of sickness came from Harper's first week of kindie when she came home with the sniffles.
It hit you particularly hard because of how much younger you were than Harper and how much she loved you. Every time she went away, she came straight back home with cuddles for you and so many kisses that Katrina and Clara both had to drag her away at times to not overwhelm you.
"Are you just going to stay here? All nice and snuggly, huh?"
You grunt again but don't really do anything else and Mama has to reach down to grab a blanket and wrap it around you. She wipes your runny nose again and goes back into her bedroom.
Mama lies down in her bed and positions you so you're horizontal again. The change makes your eyes droop closed instantly, like suddenly your limbs are all weak and tired.
"That's a good girl, bubs," Mummy says, her voice low and soft as she runs her nails up and down your back softly," I think a little nap is all you need, huh? A nice nap to get this bug out of your system."
A small whine comes out of your mouth when she stops as she leans over to flick on the white noise machine. Her nails resume their gentle patterns though when she notices that you're fighting sleep again.
You drop off soon after, a combination of the soft hum of the machine, Katrina's gentle hands on your back and your general sickness.
She smiles softly at you, gently readjusting you so she can snap a picture to send to Clara. It's not often that she gets private time with you.
Harper's been enamoured with you the moment you were born, stuck to your side like a little shadow while Clara held you like you were surgically attached.
It was nice, sometimes, to just have you all to herself.
Even if you were a little grouchy.
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yuellii · 9 months
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catching floating clouds ( i’m in stupid love )
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 ;; the heart-stopping, stomach-twisting, gut-wrenching way in which they fall hopelessly in love with you
feat. neuvillette, ayato, baizhu, kaveh ( separately )
notes. gn reader, heavily inspired by @miyosei who you should check out bc she is much better at this than i am, really felt like thinking about my favorite genshin men
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NEUVILLETTE falls in love like fresh springtime.
There’s a certain silence in the air that catches his breath, one that forces him to breath in so deeply, he might as well consider himself human. It’s new, like a flower bloom in the spring where the air is crisp and the mornings are tranquil.
He takes notice of it, of course. It was impossible not to when the mere thought of you swarmed his head in instances he needed it most. Amidst expense reports, amidst case filing—you more often than not somehow make your way back into his head. And despite such shortcomings creating an imbalance in his work life, he can’t seem to hate it.
Perhaps he’s fallen ill, or perhaps there was something in the air as of late that has him feeling all sorts of things. Because this feeling was all so fresh, so new, he might’ve sought for it.
Your touch is akin to the end of summertime, when days are hazy and he finds a moment of relaxation. Your voice is a serenity like harp strings attached to his heart; and for once, he feels human.
And suddenly, he begins to notice the simpler things in life that he hadn’t noticed before. Fontaine waters have never smelled so fresh since before he fell in love with you, nor did the evening clouds ever looks so ethereal. These emotions you gave him were a gift from the Gods, showering him in the blessings and beauty of human life. And at the center of it all, it was you, the one who made him human.
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KAMISATO AYATO falls in love in hesitance.
You prove to be difficult to get out of his head. He’s frustrated, he’s furious, and he’s fallen so fully in love.
There’s a tinge of stress that comes with the realization, like you’re another item of baggage to add onto his already-tired shoulders; another piece of food dropped onto his full plate, but he somehow hates himself for comparing you to such burdening analogies. You didn’t deserve that.
He likes you. He wishes he didn’t.
Only despondency clogs the air when he thinks of you, late-night thoughts in the dim glow of his office as he twirls his pen between his fingers. His hand movements are the only thing stable right now, for his mind was in disorderly disarray at the shambles of his emotions. Gods, he was in love with you. He had so much work to finish, but he was in love with you. He wanted to stop thinking, but he was in love with you.
He feels sick, like the lack of sleep from nights he went overthinking his future made him close to throwing up. Or like the mere imagination of you coming in to save him from this workload made him sickeningly nauseous.
He couldn’t work like this. No, not when your clouded his thoughts like he was some lovesick fool.
And he was—he knew he was a fool. But when you’ve damned him just from making him fall in love like this… he fears he has to shut you out.
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BAIZHU falls in love in the present time.
He is a man of the future, a man that has his entire life set out, from his plans to obtain the grace of immortality and thereafter. When he falls in love with you, it’s a sudden obsession that has him craving the thought of you for weeks. It affects his life, his plans, his work—it forces him to live in the present time where he was still weak, still mortal.
He can’t help but sit there, staring down at his table in a wide-awake agony that eats at his ambitions. It’s not that he’s never felt this kind of love. It’s that he’s never allowed himself the chance to, not once since he made this contract.
He loves Qiqi like family, he loves that he can take care of her; he hates how he can’t do the same with you.
And he hates how you force him to live in the present, the way you cloud his head with thoughts of a future he had not considered. His future never included you in the picture, it never involved living with another human so fragile like himself. This vision did not include a lover that would age so quickly after he himself achieved immortality.
But he can’t help it, not when the mere imagination of living and dying by your side sounded like a love he was suddenly hoping for. He only wishes he could have both lives at once.
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KAVEH falls in love like dancing petals.
For a person so human and so gorgeous like you, how could he not? He’s always romanticized the reiterating idea of romance, for it was one of the beauties that human life had to offer. When flowers dared to fade, there was still hope for love.
And when he found that love in you, it was like a breath of the summer solstice. It felt like the longest day of the year, yet simultaneously the brightest. Smiling with joy that reached up to the corners of his eyes, that fluttering feeling flew across his body so long as he was in love.
From there on, every time he speaks to you is akin to a whisper of collective creative minds. They tell him how perfect you are, and it makes him distracted. He begins to admire you like he admires architecture—staring and learning every little detail until all of you is etched into his brain. He’ll start to remember every little detail you offer to him; it’s endearing in a way that’s purely natural.
Genuine, unadulterated feelings of admiration—that was how he continues to fall in love over and over again. Love is beauty, beauty is love, and when you smile at him, it’s so beautiful he swears his heart collapses every time. And when he doesn’t leave you alone, always sacrificing the time just to see you, your welcoming laughter will always be his favorite song.
All life was an art piece in his eyes; you were the most beautiful one, and he would gladly take you as one of his painters.
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all inspirational credits to sunny the loml again bc i even referenced her with the title 🫶
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sightoru · 1 year
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cw; fem reader. mirror sex. not beta read.
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“LOOK WHAT YOU do to me, baby,” Izuku whines into your ear, his cock pressed firmly to your back. 
The party downstairs is loud, much too loud. That’s why you and Izuku headed upstairs and stole away into Sero’s bedroom on the opposite side of the house — away from the noise and the lights and Mina’s triumphant laugh as she wins yet another round of beer pong. 
What you didn’t plan — though, knowing your boyfriend, you really should’ve seen this coming — was sitting in front of a mirror with Izuku, legs hooked over his tan and muscled arms and watching him play with your pussy. Green eyes shine bright and almost menacingly as you watch thick and scarred fingers move leisurely in and out of your hole; coated in your own arousal as he works his way around your clit and back. “Izu —” you gasp, feeling those same fingers go slowly and tauntingly back into your cunt, “We can’t.. What if we get caught?” “Shh… It’s okay, baby,” he smiles that heroes smile at you, momentarily tearing his eyes away from your cunt to look back into yours, “Sero’s more of a pervert than I am. He’ll totally be okay with it,” he laughs gently, nibbling at your ear before warm lips move down your neck. “You’re the bigger pervert, Izuku,” you whine, voice coming out more like a plea than the scalding insult you wanted it to be. You can’t think clearly while he fingers you like this; hands playing you like a harp; eyes bright as he watches you unfold. “Don’t be so mean to me,” he mutters in your ear, the ghost of a smile playing against his lips. “This was your idea after all.” “No,” you gasp. “That’s not —” “C’mon, love. Stop acting like it’s the first time we’ve done this.” You can’t fault him for saying that, not that you could anyways. Your tongue is led in your mouth as he works another finger in, expertly hitting every spot that has your toes curling and your back pushing harder into his aching cock. “Are you gonna cum for me sweet girl? Look in the mirror when you do for me, yeah? Always look so pretty when you do. M’favorite sight, I’ll never get tired of it.” “T- Thank you,” you whine as the tremors pass through your body. “Gonna sit on my cock now for me, huh?” He asks, one hand unbuckling his pants while the other splays you underneath him. He looks like God himself above you; green and black curls hanging over his forehead. A constellation of freckles splayed across babyish features. You’ll never get tired of coming undone for him.
When he splits you open, it takes your breath away like it did the first time. Like it does every time. He whimpers into your neck, arching his hips perfectly and aiming for the spot that has you seeing stars with every pass of his cock. He always sounds so pretty like this — whining and whimpering praises into your ears about how good you feel. How your cunt feels like it was made for him. Half slurred praises about how well you take him and how perfect you look to him. 
When he cums, moments later and as deep inside you as he can, he carefully looks over you. Making sure you're cleaned up and putting all your jewelry back on for you while he mutters about how beautiful and perfect you are. You always stay quiet and sit pretty for him while he does. Content to let Izuku do what he does best — take care of you. “Let’s go,” He half laughs, smiling down at you before helping you off Sero’s bed. “Before the others notice.” 
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thewriterg · 5 months
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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧’ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 chp.1
pairing(s); simon ‘ghost’ riley x fem!reader, johnny ‘soap’ mactavish x fem!reader, kyle ‘gaz’ garrick x fem!reader, john ‘bravo six’ price, werewolf!soap, harp crow hybrid!gaz, dragon hybrid!price, wraith!hybrid (?) ghost, phoenix!hybrid (?) reader
summary; new recruits, questions, and a bag of tricks
warning(s); monster au, dark twisted themes, normal cod violence, firearms, knives, combat, pinning (?), poly themes, death, r call sign is flatline, blood consumption, eventual smut, kissin, and language
A/n; my toxic trait is starting a new series before finishing my other ones 😊 | chasin chaos masterlist
“Sergeant Mactavish, Werewolf.” The brunette held his hand out clawed fingers reaching about for the lieutenant who barely spared it a glance before looking back towards his sergeant and captain who smirked or started back at him smugly your presence lacking completely which was uncommon even if you weren’t meeting the eye he could feel your presence today it was gone but he temporarily stopped himself from dawning on it while words spewed from his lips
“Where’d you find this guy?” The gruff voice drizzled over the sassy reply made Gaz bight back a chuckle
“At the end of a rainbow” The harpy replied smartly his arms crossed over his chest feathers lying delicately over the surface of his forearms slightly lighter than the ones on his back where his wings sat it’s trail coming curtly to an end when it reached his the front of his wrist that damned fitted cap resting around his head in its common home ground talons tapping one of the many quills the sound almost sounding if he were thunking a table having his feathers harden on command just for the sake of it a quirk you could say
“Worth his weight in gold mind you” Price offered eyes not looking up from some type of notes he were reading over thick pear and moss mixed green colored horns sitting adorned on his well kept hair curling slightly forward and up Ghost could tell he was wearing an older shirt since there were two holes cut out instead of one for his stray wing that still sat strong spar bones matching the color of his horns and furless tail while the mainsail resembled a more dirty rag cream color
“They said it not me” Soap grinned mock waving off the compliment quirking the damned thick bushy brow of his the only one with a slit slicing right through the point of the arch while the hulking man sighed heavily dragging a hand over his covered face balaclava with a simple print of his actual hard mask a skull
“Fuckin’ hell… you follow orders?” The muffled voice was not a mere obstacle for the hybrid to hear the slight pointed ears on the side of his face doing their job well to listen
“I well trained if that’s what you’re asking. Sit, stay, paw, jump, roll over, I know ‘em all.” The brunette looked off mocking a ponderous expression counting off on his fingers the canines in his mouth slightly showing even though they were retracted
“Real bag of tricks, aren’t you?” The instinct in the sergeant perked up as you suddenly trailed beside ghost surprised that he hadn’t been able to pick up your presence or at least your scent quicker like he had with Ghost especially since they were so… different not having a face to match with your cooled voice since it seemed you also favored a balaclava yours simply plain black yet he didn’t mind just gave him two sheets to play at once…
Raking eyes over your figure the man determined you were a looker for sure yet he didn’t miss how the other silently agreed
“My apologies miss, I dinae get your name” Soap stated a now gentle smile resting on his face that you seemingly ignored accent seeping through a little more and as more time went on the more he could smell the authority coming from you and Ghost it was a little less than Price yet more than Gaz and the other recruits around base
“Depends who you ask. What’s the role you’ve had in your pack?” You questioned eyes low that he could see through the gap in your mask where your sight shone through staring him down almost as if you could see right through his soul yet he kept his quirky grin Mohawk stopping just below the base of his neck a small piece of stray hair lying against his forehead thick fluffy tail perking up slightly swaying against the back of his thighs cargo pants dipping in the back just below his tail
“I’ve been in a few packs could be an alpha, beta, omega if you wanted me to… but I seen you have your roles sorted. I’ve got no problem bein’ ah pup miss” You roll your eyes at that while the brunette winks you swiftly trail away dragging Ghost away with you picking up Price on the way while both men let you drag them along their hulking figure’s towering over your back boots slightly thumping against the floor before your figures disappear within the halls he turns to the crow who’s fiddling with the screen of his phone
“You ever feel left out of somethin’?” Soap questions and Gaz suddenly stands a small smirk on his face as he rakes his eyes over the wolf before shaking his head
“There’s enough for everyone to get their fill, you’ll be next soon enough” Without an explanation the sergeant was already trailing away opposite of where you had gone leaving him alone
But never for too long
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
“It’s rude to stare sergeant” Ghost grunted gruffly after jamming his janky locker shut barely giving Soap enough time to look at his shadows slipping from under his glove some looking like it was traveling farther up almost resembling veins while the rest began to make a small cloud on his wrist until he shoved his sleeve over the sight unapologetic about the whole thing barely looking over his shoulder to acknowledge the wolf as he stood behind him
“Just tryin’ ta figure you out, Lt.” He grins tail becoming livelier as it perks up behind his back before it reluctantly lowers still up and lively
“I’m well traveled, seen a lot of things, met a lot of people. Never smelt anythin’ like you… or Flatline for that matter” A slightly clawed finger rests curled on his chin tail gently flapping up and down it had been a little over a week since he was recruited it didn’t take long for him to find out your name or call sign that might have well been your name since no one seemed to know it just by the brief description of eerie, bold eyes, and a mask to cover you face, he got the answer of either Ghost or Flatline
“Hell of a compliment soldier” The blonde resorts almost sarcastically finally looking over his broad shoulder to lock eyes with the brunette and he waves him off finally stepping closer to the skull mask wearing man deciding by his side was the best place to stand and if he noted the smoke trying to spill from his pockets where he had his hands shoved deeply he didn’t say anything about it
“Och, you know I dinnae mean it that way. Can’t blame me for bein’ interested, I never packed with a wraith hybrid before… or a phoenix thought they were bedtime stor-”
“Not hybrids” Ghost cuts off the scott before he can dig any deeper and he furrowed his eyebrows questioning if he had heard right if his ears were failing him or not with a small ‘what’ spilled from his lips
“We’re not hybrids.”
“No shit? What the hell is tha’ like?” Swiftly Simon was in front of him eyes bold yet precise slicing right through him while Johnny’s gaze slightly widened at the quick movement his boots not even so much a squeaking against the ground a bit of the air currents flowing against Soaps slight shorter form
“You ever shut up Mactavish?” He somewhat seethed and the wolf was back to sly grin in less than minute, the grin that showed his canines in the full well kept facial hair adorning his structure even more, the grin the wraith wanted to wipe of his fucking face to be exact.
“Only when people make me.” Soap implied looking up slightly to address his superior with a voice that would make other feverish or peely in his terms that damned drunken grin still on his lips while Ghost practically stared him down eyes slightly squinted thoughts brewing behind those sharp, precise eyes of his that the Scott couldn’t wait to hear of tail swaying behind him with a bit more speed than before but of course his Lt. was a tease and put all his weight on one foot to turn walking out of the locker room without so much a grunt but he liked the chase
And so did superiors
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“It’s an in and out mission that I’m sure you could do on your own, however I don’t need higher ups on my ass about favoritism. You’ll grab a few normals and head Midwest in the states to Chicago. One out of three missiles resigns with one of the biggest weapons busts in America that’s supposedly on its way over to Russia package delivery for a friend of ours… Makarov.” The air in the room shifted at the name drop of a once friend fallen foe even though You and Prices shoulders were up at the mere mention of Russia itsself you had a love hate relationship with meeting room as you got passed a file over things you truly didn’t need to go over things that a rookie could even fill in the blanks for
“This will either be the easiest sail of your life or your standing on the line of death, you all know your first priority even though I know you don’t want to hear it. Push come to shove the normals go first.” The older short cut haired woman looked at You, Price, and Ghost especially Soap noticed it confused him at first the wraith and phoenix at least, two lieutenants in such a small base or at least a small base that wasn’t Air Force but it made sense to him shortly after when he peeked in on occasional training sessions thought out a week You and Ghost switched groups between normals and weaker hybrids both favoring one group more than the other deep down and then at the end of the week bring them together to spar
“Wheels up at 04:00 tomorrow I’m sure you’ll have your picks by then.” Laswell sighed looking around the table for any objections your sitting between Soap and Gaz while Price and Ghost are sitting on the opposite side of the rounded table one of your legs are crossed under your form while the other is propped up you have your arms wrapped around it and your covered chin is lying on your knee and without another word she grabbed her laptop and exited room something about a ball and chain to her desk
The wolf and harpy are first to get up from their seats and the winged hybrid doesn’t go before gently brushing his fingers against your arm migrating towards the exit even though he’s stopped shortly by a shit eating grin and swaying tail conversation quickly taking place between the two
“So, what do you think?” Price hums both him and Simon approaching your seat as you began to stand rolling your shoulders eyes low beneath your mask it was still early in the day only 13:27 you had a training group normals at 14:15 sharp anyone who was a minute late got to run laps around base even if they weren’t hybrids or the ‘superior’ race in the field you couldn’t determine if you were fighting a hybrid or a normal and if you babied them because they were weaker than a super they wouldn’t have a fighting chance against one.
“He asks a lot of questions” Ghost responds curtly while the older man takes no offense to it producing a chuckle from the back of his throat taking out a cigar from his breast pocket in his vest holding out the thick brown lump filled with nicotine out to the blonde who responded by taking out a silver lighter snapping the cover back quickly as it produced a flame its front covered by an ace card with its main attraction being a skull the drug lights aflame a small hissing sound coming from it when the salt and pepper haired hybrid took a drag
“Comes with the package. Wolves don’t like uncertainty in the pack dynamic.”
“He knew you and Gaz before he transferred, didn’t he?” You spoke up squinting your eyes at your captain eyelashes mere meters away from kissing your cheek standing the only way he could get a read on you and Simon he usually says ‘those eyes can tell you everything and nothing all at once, just gotta watch em.’
“Yes, but you’re both hell of a new variable” Price admits before smugly nudging your shoulders with his strong single wing while Ghost crossed his arms over his chest you roll your eyes stepping away from the pair
“Save your verdicts until you see him in action, he’s a vision in the field.”
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Hey… how yall doing 😅
I haven’t posted since October I missed you writers!
Ermm I’m a year older —Nov 8th— happy belated birthday to me
And that’s about it 😭
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theostrophywife · 7 months
Text
kiss with a fist | chapter four.
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masterlist 💋 chapters 💋 playlist
pairing: theodore nott x reader.
song inspiration: bohemian rhapsody by queen.
author's note: i'm warning ya'll now this one is sugary sweet. i'm basically finished writing all the chapters, so i'll be pushing these out more often. as always, i hope everyone enjoys my mans.
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The west wing of the castle was eerily quiet as you led Theo through the corridors. The spiral staircase leading up to Ravenclaw Tower snaked all the way up to the fifth floor, which was proving to be a feat to climb in the dark given that you weren’t able to cast lumos without being discovered. It didn’t help that a slightly inebriated Theo kept trudging on your toes during your ascent. 
“Oh for Merlin’s sake,” you hissed under your breath before grabbing hold of Theo’s hand. Even in the dark, you could tell that the insufferable twat was smirking. “Not a word, Nott. I either hold your hand like a toddler or keep suffering in silence as you stomp on my toes with your giant feet.”
“You know what they say about giant feet,” Theo whispered behind you. Moonlight streamed through the skylight, perfectly illuminating your scowl. His grin grew wider as he squeezed your hand. “Giant shoes. What did you think I was going to say, Y/N?”
“I’d prefer if you didn’t say anything.” 
Theo gave you a mocking salute as he quietly followed you up the stairs. You tried not to focus on the warmth of his hand or the way his fingers twined tightly around yours. You especially tried not to dwell on the strange but not entirely unpleasant sensation of Theo’s thumb rubbing soothing circles across your knuckles. 
When you reached the fourth floor, Theo made no move to release your hand as you walked up to the wooden door. It had no knob or keyhole, but a knocker in the shape of an eagle. Identical to the common room entrance, which was a floor above. But you had no plans on smuggling a Slytherin into the eagle’s nest. 
Instead, you gently rapped on the knocker. The bronze eagle blinked back at you. Theo nearly fell over in surprise as it rasped out a question.
“What breaks and never falls, and what falls and never breaks?”
“Day breaks and night falls,” you answered. 
The knocker nodded, appearing pleased before the door swung open. Theo chuckled softly. “Of course you Ravenclaws would require a riddle for entrance. Godric forbid you use something as simple as a password.” 
“Passwords are easily guessed, riddles are not.” You tugged him into the dimly lit hallway and gave him a sharp look. “Don’t get any ideas of sneaking in, either. The riddle changes every day and the eagle is prone to clawing intruders.” 
Theo shivered. “And yet everyone thinks that we Slytherins are the sadistic ones.” 
You smiled in satisfaction as the two of you walked further into the fourth floor. Theo trailed along after you, more than happy to let you take the lead for once. He stopped short when you opened the door to the music room. Starlight flooded in through the stained glass windows, drawing silver prisms across the crushed velvet couches, ornate persian rugs, and tiered choral risers. Instruments of every kind were organized into neat rows—harps, cellos, lutes, violins, and even a set of bagpipes. 
But you weren’t interested in any of them. 
In the center of the room sat a baby grand piano. Theo watched curiously as you sat on the bench and carefully lifted the mahogany top. 
“I didn’t even know we had a music room,” he remarked as he slid in beside you. 
“That’s not surprising at all.” 
Theo rolled his eyes. “So this is how you relax?” 
You nodded, resting your fingers on the ivory keys. “Like I said, I’m not really the type of person who can just turn their mind off so I have to occupy myself with something else. With music, I can focus on the chords and scales and patterns and eventually I sort of just get lost in the melody.”
“Play something for me, then.” 
You nodded and started playing a familiar piece. The music flowed through you like honey, each chord and note so vivid in your mind that you could practically imagine the sheet music floating before you.
When you first came to Hogwarts, you spent countless hours in this room. Every time you felt overwhelmed by the wizarding world, you channeled your frustrations and fears into this piano. You found that music was a universal language that was understood by both the magical and muggleborn. 
As you played, you felt the classics pour out of you. Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, Debussy. They were pieces that you learned from your father. You could almost picture it now, sitting in your sunny London flat and playing the piano together while your mother watched and listened. 
The melancholic melody of Swan Lake filled the room. It was the first piece you ever mastered when you begged your father to teach it to you after coming home from the ballet. A wave of nostalgia crashed into you as you closed your eyes and let yourself become one with the music. 
Each movement was fluid, the muscle memory embedded into you while your fingers flew over the keys. The piece built to its crescendo and it felt bittersweet as you delivered the final note. You had all but forgotten about Theo until you opened your eyes again. 
“Only you would find the morbidity of Swan Lake relaxing,” he said with a small smile. 
You quirked a brow. “You know Tchaikovsky?” 
“Of course. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a total degenerate.”
“But he’s a muggle.” 
“I’ll have you know that I received an Outstanding in my O.W.L. for Muggle Studies.” 
You gaped. “I didn’t even know you were taking Muggle Studies.” 
“Advanced Muggle Studies,” he corrected. “As much as I love a depressing classic, I think you’ll find this piece a bit more modern.” 
Theo scooted over and began playing a vaguely familiar intro. You strained to place the music and watched with complete bewilderment as he continued to play with a grin. 
Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me. 
The realization set in just as Theo nudged you to play the next part with him. The ballad came naturally to you after having heard the song so many times. 
Mama, just killed a man. 
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead.
Mama, life had just begun.
The two of you barrelled through the guitar solo and weaved through the operatic section. Your fingers were cramped by the time you hit the hard rock portion of the song. You hadn’t even noticed that you were singing along until you heard Theo laugh in delight beside you. Thank Rowena for the soundproof walls. 
You turned over, and sang the lyrics right at him. So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? 
Theo delivered the next line with equal fervor. So you think you can love me and leave me to die? 
The two of you looked at each other and serenaded one another rather aggressively. Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby. 
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.
Both of you were in stitches when you finally reached the outro. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed so hard. 
“We did not just perform a godsawful rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.” 
“Speak for yourself. My vocals would’ve brought Freddie Mercury to tears.” He touched his heart, looking solemn. “Godric rest his soul. The man was a proper genius.” 
“I would not have pegged you as a Queen fan.” 
“You can peg me no matter whose fan I am, darling.” 
The snort came out of you before you had a chance to reign it in. Theo’s eyes widened in surprise as you covered your mouth in utter mortification. It had taken you years to control your snort, but sometimes it just slipped out. 
“Did you just—”
“Speak of it ever again and I’ll maim you, Theodore.” 
He raised his hands. “I’m not mocking you, I swear. I’ve just never heard you laugh like that.” 
“Yeah, well, I suppose all this faffing around has unearthed my shameful secret.” You tried and failed to conceal your smile. “Consider it a compliment. No one’s heard my snorting in years.”
“Maybe they should. It’s quite charming, you know.” 
You chuckled again, not bothering to hide your snorts. 
Theo grinned. “On second thought, I think I’d like to keep that laugh all to myself.” 
The flush that crept onto your cheeks was entirely involuntary. You stretched your legs underneath you and bumped your knee against his. “Congratulations, Nott. You’ve somehow managed to accomplish the impossible. I actually feel relaxed for once in my life.” 
“Relaxed enough for a midnight snack?” 
You shook your head. “No way. I’m not sneaking into the kitchens again. I barely escaped Winky’s notice when I nicked your muffin last time.��� 
“Who said anything about the kitchens? I have my own stash of snacks back in the dungeons. How do you feel about gelato?” 
“I’ve never had it,” you admitted. 
Theo looked properly affronted. “As an Italian, I take that as a personal offense.” 
“Isn’t it the same thing as ice cream?”
“The same as—that’s honestly the most inconsiderate thing you’ve ever said to me.” He rubbed his temples. “This is no longer a matter of choice now. The reputation of my people is on the line until you’ve tasted stracciatella.”
Your mouth quirked. “Got any mint chocolate?” 
As you expected, he flung his hands around as though you’d just asked for feet flavored gelato. “Che palle! This is more dire than I thought. Mint chocolate? You might as well squeeze toothpaste on a chocolate frog and call it a day.”
Theo ranted as he led you out of the music room. You couldn’t help but giggle at the genuine distress in his expression. You made it all the way to the first floor of the tower before he stopped grumbling under his breath. 
“Well, gelato aficionado, I hope you have a plan because Filch is probably making his rounds as we speak.” 
He only smirked in response. “I may know a shortcut.”
You followed after Theo as he approached a portrait on the far end of the west wing. He produced the grimoire from his pocket and shuffled through the worn leather pages before he found the correct page. With a flick of his wand, Theo chanted something in Italian. The portrait, a young woman with dark hair and a mischievous grin, appraised the two of you. As her gaze flickered over you, the familiarity of those watercolor eyes struck you like lightning.
“Fai scelte intelligenti, cugino.” 
With that, the portrait swung open into some sort of secret tunnel. Theo’s lips twitched as he gestured for you to step through the threshold. As the portrait swung close, you heard the young woman sigh dreamily. 
“La storia si ripete.”
While your understanding of Italian was rudimentary at best, you were fairly certain that she’d said something about history repeating itself. Theo reached for your hand in the dark and you took it without question. You were deep within the secret passage before you even realized it.  
“Family of yours?” 
“How’d you guess?” 
“You have the same eyes,” you observed. “Plus, she called you cousin.” 
He seemed mildly amused by the comment. “Been brushing up on your Italian?” 
“Only enough to make sure you’re not insulting me.” 
Theo chuckled. “Fair enough. To answer your question, yes. The portrait is of Coletta, my second cousin thrice removed. She attended Hogwarts centuries ago. She was a Ravenclaw as well.”
“Why is that name so familiar?”
“She invented the enchantment for the moving portraits. Of course her first subject was herself.” 
“So narcissism and vanity is an inherited trait, then?”
Theo smirked. “Darling, when you’re as pretty as we are, then immortalizing that beauty for future generations to behold becomes a high priority.”
“Oh, good. I was worried that you were becoming too humble."
“Let’s just say that dear old Coletta won’t be the only one in my bloodline to be featured on a chocolate frog card.”
“I doubt that being the world’s most massive wanker constitutes the commissioning of a card.”
He rolled his eyes as you rounded a corner. Theo kept you behind him as he pushed on a depression in the walls. It gave way, swinging open to an empty hallway. 
“Speaking of massive wankers, welcome to the Slytherin dormitories.”
You smirked and nodded to the giant serpent statue at the end of the hallway. “Is that a basilisk or are you just happy to see me?”
“My poor little Ravenclaw. I’m afraid I’ve corrupted you past the point of no return.”
“Please,” you tutted, strutting through the maze of the dungeon dormitories like you owned the place. “I was depraved way before I ever met you.” 
Theo chuckled under his breath as he led you further into the heart of the viper’s nest. Through the windows, you could see the dark waves of the Black Lake ripple as you walked through. It was oddly beautiful, in a morbid sort of way.
“Here we are,” Theo said as you came to a stop at the end of the hall. “Home sweet home.” 
Before you entered, he muttered a series of privacy and protection spells that you’ve never even heard of. Magic weaved through the door and sizzled with evergreen sparks before it finally swung open. 
“Paranoid much?”
“You have no idea. You Ravenclaws may have your riddles, but learning how to hex your door from nosy snooping twats is a right of passage for every Slytherin.”
You peered through the threshold, suddenly feeling nervous. In the past year doing whatever it was you and Theo were doing, it had become a sort of unspoken rule to have sex anywhere but your dorms. For one, it was too much of a hassle to sneak each other in, but if you were being honest, the main reason why you've never even attempted was because seeing someone else’s room was strangely intimate. You tried not to think about how easily Theo invited you into his space as you ducked through the door. 
A mixture of envy and jealousy hit you full force when you walked into his dorm. It was a massive room with a four poster bed, luxurious velvet curtains, and a stained glass skylight. There was a mahogany desk littered with ancient tomes, cracked parchment, and half empty ink pots. The latest Nimbus model was propped up next to his nightstand with a green and silver scarf tied around its hilt. Leave it to Theo to use the expensive broom as a glorified hanger. 
You made your way through the elegantly decorated room and noted that it was far tidier than you would’ve expected. Theo was content to hang back and watch as you looked through his baubles. A picture on his nightstand caught your eye. Mostly because it wasn’t like the moving portraits you were so used to seeing in the wizarding world. This was a still likeness, a polaroid of a beautiful dark haired woman with little Theo. He was wearing a Cambridge jumper three sizes too big and showing off his two missing front teeth with a cheeky grin. 
The image tugged at your heart. “Is this your mum?” 
Theo nodded. “Yeah, that was the first time she took me with her to Cambridge.” 
“And there’s the infamous jumper you begged her to buy, huh?” 
“The one and only.”
You kept staring at the photo, noting how happy little Theo looked. It made you think back on that day at the lab when you watched him slip on his smirk like a mask. Like armor. You wondered if you’d ever see his unguarded smile, full of childlike wonder and joy, just like in the picture. You wondered why you even wanted to. 
“She was very beautiful,” you finally said, setting down the polaroid. 
“She was,” Theo wistfully agreed. “Clearly I inherited her good looks.”
Rolling your eyes fondly, you continued surveying his room. For some reason, you found it fascinating. You nearly squealed in delight when you came across the towers of books he had lined up against the wall. 
“Go ahead,” Theo said with a chuckle. “I know you’re dying to snoop, diavolina.”
He couldn’t have been more right. You loved going through people’s bookshelves. You could tell a lot about a person based on their books. In Theo’s case, his reads were nearly as chaotic and surprising as he was. 
As expected, there were a few books on quidditch, a rare potions tome that you were fairly certain cost a small fortune, a selection of mystery novels, all magical save for a lone leatherbound book on the top shelf. You carefully cracked it open and found yourself reading through the Divine Comedy. 
“Dante’s Inferno,” you said in surprise. “How terribly morbid of you.” 
“How so?” He asked, reading over your shoulder. “Alighieri composed it as a comedy rather than a tragedy. It does have somewhat of a happy ending.”
“I suppose, but the poem was mainly a raw commentary on the savage nature of human existence and delved into the ugliness of it all, from the banal to the depraved. The eternal torture chamber was a meditation on evil. Even purgatory explored the flaws of human nature and the fallen state society often finds itself in.”
Theo took the book from your hands and flipped to the last section. “Yes, but Paradiso was all about goodness. It explores transcendence, redemption, and virtue.” He smiled softly. “I know the concept of paradise might be a bit naive, but isn’t there a concept of heaven that we all hold onto to prevent ourselves from despairing? When you’re trudging through shit, you’ve got to hope that you’re clawing for something better on the other side.” 
You were silent for a moment. “What does Paradise look like for you, Nott?”
Theo smirked. “You’ll have to get me higher than this to answer that question, dolcezza.”
“Fair enough. Now educate me on gelato like you promised.”
A few minutes later, the two of you sat cross legged on his rug while indulging in decadent scoops of stracciatella. The creaminess of the gelato was perfectly complemented by delicious flakes of dark chocolate. The sounds you made while eating were borderline sexual.
“If I had known it was this easy to make you moan, I would’ve introduced you to gelato ages ago.”
You lightly kicked him in the shin. “I still can’t believe you enchanted a mini fridge to hold your fancy imported dessert.”
It was actually quite impressive. You hadn’t even thought of doing that yourself and you were the muggleborn one. 
“Perks of acing advanced muggle studies.” 
“Having a Gringott’s vault at your disposal helps as well.”
“Smart, rich, and handsome. I’m just an all around catch, aren’t I?”
“Someday you’ll make some poor unsuspecting witch very, very miserable.”
“Someday?” Theo asked, the corner of his mouth curving into a mischievous smile. “Why wait? I’m perfectly capable of making you miserable now.” 
With that, he took a dollop of his gelato and smushed it against the tip of your nose.
You gasped in surprise, squealing at how cold and sticky it felt against your skin. “You’re a dead man, Nott.”
Theo bolted to the other side of his dorm and you followed, trying to fling scoops of gelato at him. He giggled like a child as he dodged your attacks but there was only so much space for him to evade you. Finally, he gripped your wrists to keep you from retaliating. 
“Here, let me clean you up.” 
As you squirmed in his grasp, Theo leaned over and licked the tip of your nose. You squealed in disgust as he lapped up every bit of gelato. Theo sneakily took your cup from you and set them aside before leaning back to admire his work. From this close, you could see the gold flecks in his eyes. They darkened as you glanced up at him, his blue green gaze turning stormy. 
“What?” you asked, brushing at your face. “Is my face all sticky and gross?”
Theo shook his head. “No—you look fine—more than fine you’re—“ He paused, stumbling for words. “Can I kiss you?”
The question suddenly made you feel nervous, which was ridiculous given the fact that you’d kissed Theo countless times before, but there was something about the way he looked at you now that felt…different. 
“You’ve never asked before.” 
Theo frowned. “Maybe I should have.” He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “Gods, you’re right. I can be a real wanker sometimes.” 
You smiled. “To be fair, I kissed you first. Mostly to shut you up, but still. I’ve never asked either.” 
He swallowed thickly as he ran his fingers through your braid. “Well, can I?” 
A knot formed in your stomach as you nodded. This was ridiculous. There was no need to be nervous. You repeated those words over and over again to yourself as Theo caressed your cheek, his gaze flickering over your face as though he was searching for that final missing piece of the puzzle. Then, gently, as gently as he ever had, Theo leaned in and kissed you. 
He tasted like cigarettes and mint, like dark chocolate and cream, like stracciatella and sin. 
But most of all, Theodore Nott tasted like your own personal unraveling.
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slytherinn-xo · 1 day
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'Ow no KYWA!' - Kyra Cooney Cross
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Kyra Cooney Cross X Matilda's! Arsenal! Reader
Synopsis: The Marshmallow never ends well, especially not when you, Kyra, Mini and Harper are together.
1,233 words
I was sat filming a TikTok, well I forced Kyra, Katrina or as we all call her Mini, or for me and Kyra, 'mother' as she's our Tillies' mum and Harper into the video with me. We were filming the Marshmallow game. I don't know how to explain it really. 
But I had already done one version of it with Beth and Kyra at Arsenal, but it was a fail, and I needed another one.  It was a terrible fail from Kyra on her behalf, me and Beth say that we were amazing that day, even if Kyra couldn't see it then.
I was sat on one side of Kyra, her hand placed delicately onto my thigh, rubbing small circles with her thumb before we started all of this. Mini on the other side of Kyra, with Harper sat on my shoulders, her hands threaded into my hair. 
Not just on my hair, in my hair! Like deeply in my hair, like she was trying to move and control my movements like I was a puppet. I'm no puppet mate, I might look like Pinocchio at times )only when my hair's slicked back, and my fringe is out) but at least I'm a cute puppet.
"One marshmallow!" I started the game off with as we started clapping our hands down on our thighs, Kyra's hand slapping on my thigh for once before it moved over to her thigh. 
"Check it out." Kyra unenthusiastically added to the game, as it passed over to her. 
"wooo." Mini continued with as I could feel her little devil of a child on my shoulders wriggling about but not wanting to move or fall off my shoulders. 
"Two marshmallow!" I added trying to be enthusiastic, but almost failing as the other two were bored already. 
"Two marshmallow." Kyra added as she just continued on trying not to laugh at the toddler on my shoulders, as her eyes were on Harper. 
"Check it out." Mini added to the game. 
"Check it out." I said with a smile as I was laughing at the child on my shoulders. 
"Wooo." Kyra added still very unenthusiastic. 
"Wooo." Mini now added, completely done with us already. 
"Three marshmallow!" I said as Harper started swaying from side to side now, and I just had to keep a tight hold on this child. 
"Three marshmallow." Kyra added in as she still tried not to laugh or fail. 
"Three marshmallow." Mini now said, her being the only one keeping the beat alive. 
"Check it out." I just said with a smile, trying not to let this child fall or my head would be on a platter. 
I'm not Mini's favourite child anymore out of me, Kyra and Harps, since I stole Harper for the day and we played hide and seek all through the hotel. 
"Check it out." Kyra added looking at me as she was on the verge of breaking. 
"Check it out." Mini added funnily for once. 
"Wooo." I just said with a smile. 
"Wooo." Kyra added to the game. 
"Wooo." Mini just said. 
"Four Marshmallow." I now said increasing our speed a little bit. 
"Four Marshmallow." Kyra said as she kept up with the pace for once. 
"Four Marshmallow." Mini added in and Harper was going for a little dance now. 
"Four Marshmallow."  I added in holding both of harper's legs now as she was vibing to this again. 
"Check it out."  Kyra started as she tried to remember where we were. 
"Check it out." Mini added in as she kept with us. 
"Check it out."  I added in with a smile, and Harper stopped wriggling so I could continued to the beats. 
"Check it out."  Kyra added, close to glitching already. 
"Wooo."  Mini told us with a smile. 
"Wooo." I added in laughing as Harper was messing with my hair. 
"Wooo."  Kyra said now laughing as she looked at my reflection. 
"Wooo."  Mini laughed along with us for once this game. 
"Five Marshmallow." I started with a laugh. 
"Five Marshmallow." Kyra continued still laughing at me. 
"Five Marshmallow." Mini told us all the most composed still out of us three. 
"Five Marshmallow." I continued, and it was going quite well so far, compared to what happened last time. 
"Five Marshmallow."  Kyra added in with a smile. Patting across both our legs as she was squished in the middle of us. 
"Check it out." Mini started for us with a smile. 
"Check it out." I told the camera still practically playing a game of try not to laugh. 
"Check it out." Kyra added in and I could tell she was loosing it. 
"Check it out." Mini told the camera still composed. 
"Check it out." I added in as I looked to Kyra to continue this streak. 
"Wooo." Kyra just said and she was glitching out, me and Mini tried to salvage it but it wasn't working as Kyra just kept her little glitch going. 
I was full on witch cackling as Kyra practically tackled Mini onto the bed, while Harper was probably the most composed out of all of us. For once. 
For once the four year old was more composed then the three barely adults in the room, as we all lost it, even her mother.
"Harper what is it?!" Mini asked her biological child. Getting no reply from the child on my shoulders. 
"Wooooooo!" I just said as I tried not to wheeze with laughter. 
"Marshmallow whoooooo!" Mini said cheering a little bit, when I felt Kyra's head in my hair for a second. But I could already feel the problems brewing from this now.
"OWHHH!" I heard a cry for the child on my shoulders. "OW NO KYWA!" 
I already wanted to cackle and fold over onto myself at Kyra's voice, she was so cute as she cried out to Kyra.
And Kyra was just cackling as was I now as I tried to not bend to drop the child on my shoulders. We were both just dead from all of this now. 
"MEAN KYWA!" Harper said, trying to swat the eldest of us three children, as mother Mini was just watching on, her eyes on the child on my shoulders. That Clara would kill her if anything happened to.
I was Clara's favourite, and I could do no wrong in Clara's eyes.
"Heyyy!" Mini told her child as I just kissed the top of Kyra's hair with a smile. 
"Poor love." I told her as I patted the spot Harper had swatted her. I just held my hand over my mouth trying to stop the cackles from leaving my soul. 
Mini was just sending the poor child the biggest mother look ever. It was a look me and Kyra were used to by now, especially our first year on the Tillies. 
"OWWWW MY HAIR!" I just said still laughing my head off, as I felt Harper just tugging at my freshly died roots. 
"That was so cute!" Kyra just said with a smile. 
I just heard Harper saying complete and utter gibberish as she kept up her act of tugging at my hair. 
And we all just fell backwards as I wanted this child off of my shoulders now. "SAVE ME!" 
"Help is on the way dear!" Kyra just said with a laugh, as she dove on top of me as she laughed, her hands going over my waist. 
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