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#i try my best every day to be as good of a person as i can be and im still fucking miserable all the time
angelplummie · 2 days
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TAKING WHAT’S NOT YOURS!
ART X TASHI X PATRICK X F!READER
part 1 part 2
this one is exposition and build up for the smut eventually! enjoy my princesses
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tashi duncan stole from you.
in many ways, many times. the first was when she thrashed you in your very first college tennis tournament. you would always remember the sound she made, that war cry. it was like she had decapitated you or something. she stole victory from you that day.
then she did it again, and again, and again. every single time she played you, she beat you. you could annihilate everyone but her, crushed them all to dust. but she was the one person that would not be decimated. you didn’t speak off the court, didn’t look at each other twice in the halls of stanford. but she had this look on her face. this smug, knowing look. here to lose again? it said. and you weren’t some average joe shmoe tennis girl. you were really good. people that had no reason to bolster your ego had told you that, so you knew it to be true. you were fucking brilliant, and she had no right to look at you like you were dirt. you gave her a tough match, but still she looked at you like she knew she was going to win.
when asked about her, all you could say was “i hate that smug bitch.”
what she said about you you didn’t know, and not for lack of trying. you didn’t know if she even spoke of you at all. the thought made you angrier than when she beat you. once, when at the same party, she waved at you.“hi,” she said, and gave you that same i-just-beat-you look. she was taller than you, and craned her neck unnecessarily far to look at you. where did that stupid bitch get off?
she was this towering roadblock, the one thing stopping you from entering the upper echelons of tennis royalty. you had the fucking talent, you had put in the fucking time, you were so fucking good. but you weren’t stanfords sweetheart. you just weren’t. everyone knew you were good, but you weren’t the best.
from the matches you had watched, which was nearly all of them, you were the only person she played that gave her a run for her money. she didn’t sweat the way she did when she played you, the points were never so neck and neck. she should be threatened by you, and yet she looked at you like any other silly college floozy that was the best in her high school. tennis was your life, as much as it was hers. she stole your dignity in that way.
the next time she stole from you was patrick zweig. a sort of boyfriend, an in-between, getting there boyfriend. he could’ve been yours. you could’ve been happy together. but tashi duncan couldn’t have that.
you heard whispers about a night in a hotel room, a threesome, a twosome with a watcher, two guys jacking off on tashi duncan. they could deny, deny, deny, but whatever did or didn’t happen meant patrick zweig never returned your calls anymore. you could still recount the exact tonality and pacing of his answering machine message.
it was fine. it’s whatever. he wasn’t a forever boyfriend anyway.
but once a girl has sex with someone, she expects some degree of loyalty, some sort of goodbye. it wasn’t about him, he was cute, a good-not-great fuck, and never claimed to be serious about you. he didn’t matter. it was the fact she had him. together or not, she had him. he belonged to her. even after they broke up, everyone knew he never liked any of his other many girlfriends like he loved her. they used to walk around hand in hand, kiss, and it made you brim with jealousy. not because you gave any kind of fuck about him as a person, but because she got him instead of you. it was her. all her. she had stolen one more thing.
as time passed, your hatred burned just as bright. you practiced day in day out, hoping that somehow she could see you now, somehow she would know you were her equal.
then you met a boy. art donaldson.
you had known he was involved with her. the hotel threesome stories spared no details of the parties involved, despite factual discrepancies in other areas. but you figured, while she was dating his best friend, you were safe from the curse of tashi duncan. you allowed yourself to fall in love, softly, timidly. having met in american literature, you fostered a little spark. a love, barely the size of a candles flame, flickered in your chest. maybe, you had prayed. maybe him. maybe he was yours. you kissed at new years for the first time, and days later he met your parents. it was new, fresh, but it was love. you loved him.
and then she stole from you for the final time. in one foul swoop, she took everything from you.
it was the final of the college tournament. the two stanford angels playing each other for the victory. the court was red and packed, newly redone. you both wore white. whoever won this was guaranteed a shot at the open in the summer, and that was all you needed. you were so fucking ready. no one was better than you. no one. you had trained so hard, art could attest to it, hell, the entire school could attest to it. ask anyone who saw you around that time, they would’ve seen a scowl on your face and a racket on your back. those who had the pleasure of watching you play would’ve say it: you were fucking good.
that’s why it crushed you. across from her, at match point, advantage duncan, you watched as her knee moved independent from her leg. in between grunting and pelting, there was a crack, and tashi duncan was no more. a hush fell over the crowd as she cried, fell to the ground clutching her knee. you heard that. but you didn’t hear the ear splitting scream that came from your own mouth, couldn’t feel your body sprint, jump the net to crouch by her side. beads of perspiration rolled down her face, scrunched in agony. she bared her teeth like a cornered animal, and looked up at you through her squeezed eyes. her knee looked awful, so you stared at the rest of her. without thought you placed a hand on the top of her head. to comfort her you think.
it was so quiet. the only sound was her crying, her laboured breath stilling your heart to a lifeless thud.
“it’s ok,” you said,”you’re going to be ok, tashi.”
you remembered feeling an inexplicable sadness, a grief that you had never known before. you wanted to get rid of her pain, any and all of it. none of it came from you, you didn’t want her to have it. but that was so quickly forgotten. because as you moved to touch her shoulder with your shaking hand, it was eclipsed by another. a larger hand, the hand of a man. a pale hand. a hand you had touched before, even kissed. the hand of your man.
your eyes met, each with equal fear, horror and sadness. it was then that you knew that the curse of tashi duncan wouldn’t rest until you died. she would steal and steal and steal, even beyond the grave. he looked caught, because he was. he was caught. once you loved tashi you never stopped. he had raced into the court because she had fallen at a game he attended to watch you play, had touched her shoulder with the hand that had held you. he was not yours, as much as you needed him to be. his eyes twinkled with regret, but told you everything you needed to know.
your hand drew away with a flick, like it had given you an electric shock. you rose from tashis tortured body. his hand slipped to where yours had rested. this was all somehow not her fault, while being her fault entirely. you hated her so much it made your heart bleed. you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. no whisper of her name, no nothing. from this moment on she was dead to you.
you didn’t bother looking over your shoulder to see if art was watching you leave. he wasn’t. the umpire boomed something through a mega phone, something like wait. but you were going home.
in the hall you bumped shoulders with patrick zweig. he was rushing to find her. he looked at you once to apologise hurriedly, twice to utter your name in recognition, and a third time to look at your back and wonder why you were so down. tashi was out. you won by default.
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f1goat · 1 day
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roommates ; lando norris + part three
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In which you have to live with your brothers best friend who you really don't like, Lando Norris, and his many 'girlfriends' for a while, but there's always a thin line between love and hate.
masterlist - playlist
lando norris x fem!verstappen reader tw: nothing much yet expect that Lando is a player + i don't proofread + smut will come next chapters!
You haven’t done anything useful today. After last night, you really don’t know what to do. Should you talk about this with Lando or let it be? You have no idea. At this moment he isn’t home, you heard him leave pretty early this morning. Maybe he’s ignoring you? It feels like he is. There’s this part of you that understands him ignoring you. What would you do if you moaned out Lando his name and he heard? This has to be pretty awkward for him. 
You still can’t decide if you want to talk about it with Lando or not. It annoys you that you can’t think about anything else then Lando. And the worst part? Every time you think about him moaning out your name, you feel yourself getting flustered. That can’t be good. You can’t feel like this while thinking about Lando. It’ll make things only more confusing. 
Since you have met Lando, you think he’s a very confusing person. It’s mainly because he always seems to be in a different mood when he’s around you. Whenever you see Lando, you don’t know in which mood he will be. Sometimes he’s acting nicely, but other times he’s making you crazy with his teasing and rude remarks, and then you still have the moments when he’s flirting with you. It’s confusing. Lando is confusing. 
Thinking like this makes you remember earlier meetings between Lando and you. With nothing better to do, you let yourself think back about things that happened between the two of you. 
——-
“Lando, meet my sister y/n!” Max introduces you to a nice looking boy who’s standing closely to your brother, “and y/n, meet Lando Norris. He drives for McLaren and is one of my friends.” You take your time to look at Lando. It’s almost unfair how beautiful he is. You try to shake off those thoughts, thinking about your boyfriend instead of the good looking boy in front of you. 
Lando is taking his time with looking at you as well. It isn’t the first time he sees you. Or at least, it’s the first time he sees you in real life and will talk to you. He never told his friend, Max, about the way he stalks your Instagram almost every day and how he thinks you’re one of the most beautiful girls he has ever seen. 
He gives you a hand to introduce himself as well, you show him a small smile. The two of you make a bit of small talk. You slowly start to like Lando, he’s nice. You can understand why Max is friends with him, you hope you can become friends with him. It’s your phone which interrupts your conversation with Max and Lando. When you look at the screen, you notice it’s your boyfriend who’s calling. 
“I’m sorry, I have to take this. It’s my boyfriend,” you apologize before picking up the phone and walking away from Lando and Max. 
“Boyfriend?” Lando asks disappointed when he looks at you walking away. That wasn’t on your Instagram. It’s at that moment that Max starts to suspect that Lando already knew who you were and that he’s interested in getting to know you more.
+++
The following time Lando and you talk to each other, things are less nice. He’s spending time with your brother, playing some game on the playstation. You came home a bit ago, it was a harsh afternoon for you. After doubting for multiple weeks, you decided to break things off with your boyfriend. It wasn’t a nice breakup. Things got messy when your now ex-boyfriend started screaming at you. 
You greet Lando and Max, but you’re quickly interrupted by your phone once again. It’s your ex. He has already send you a couple messages and is now calling you. You’re quick to deny the call. 
“Boyfriend again?” Lando asks you jokingly.
You know that he couldn’t know what happened earlier today, but you can’t help yourself and sneer at him. “Ex,” you sneer. Max wants to ask you a thousand questions, but Lando is the first one who speaks up again. 
“Good.”
That didn’t make your mood better.
+++
Lando and you don’t click. Every time you’re in the same room with him, he seems to act all awkward or weird. Sometimes he teases you, other times he seems to shy to say anything. When you walk inside the living room, you notice him and Max looking at you. 
He can’t look away from you. Fuck, Lando thinks he’s going to lose it. You’re dressed in a tight fitting nude dress. It looks stunning on you. He wants to know where you’re going dressed like this, and even better he would want you to stay right here so no-one else will see you like this. Since you’re single, he’s trying to find a way to ask you on a date but he hasn’t succeeded yet. Sometimes he doesn’t know what to say and acts all shy, while other times he can joke around with you for a bit but can’t come to his point. It’s the worst. 
“Where are you going?” Max asks you before Lando finds his tongue back. 
“I’m going on a date,” you tell Max. 
Lando doesn’t even realize that he’s speaking up what he’s thinking. “Already?” He asks confused, “It’s not even a month since you broke up with your boyfriend.” Fuck, when he realizes that he actually said those words he’s quick to feel ashamed of himself. Before he can apologize to you, you’re already replying. 
“Are you implying something Norris?” You ask him angrily.  Lando tries to deny it, but you’re quick to walk away from your brother and him. When they hear the door slam, Max sends his friend an confused look. 
That day Lando can’t stop thinking about you being on a date with someone. He wants to forget about it, but the alcohol doesn’t do anything. Standing in a club with some friends, his mind is still hang up on you. How would you date go? He was so glad about you being single, but it seems that it will be over soon. 
Later that night, with even more alcohol in his system, Lando dances with a nice looking girl. He drinks until he can’t walk straight anymore and takes the girl home with him. Is it bad that he can’t even remember her name? He can think about one thing only. Even when he’s balls deep into the girl, he can only think about you. Or more specifically, you in the tight nude dress. He’s fucked. 
+++
When he tells Max about the girl and the way he send her home after the sex, he didn’t knew you were listening as well. Before Max can respond, you’re picking an argument with Lando about the way he treated the girl. 
The following hours Lando realizes that he has fucked up things too many times around you. He should forget about you. It’s not like he has any chances left. Since that day Lando fell in some weird pattern of getting drunk whenever he could and fucking some random girls as a distraction from his feelings for you. Not that it helps. Whenever he sees you, he always feels ashamed about himself and his actions. Not that you know everything about it, but still. He doesn’t know how to behave around you. Sometimes he tries flirting with you, other times he tries to keep his distance. The worst times are when he argues with you. 
It’s not like you know about his feelings and why he’s acting like this. For you everything is just confusing and weird. 
——-
Mindlessly you’re swiping on Tinder. Since you’re still not doing much, you decided to swipe a bit on the app. You could use a date, it’s been a while since your last one. Not that you will be successful on Tinder, since everyone is accusing you of being a catfish or is sending dick picks within seconds after the match. You really should find another way to find dates. When you hear a soft knock on your door, you feel confused. Could it be that you didn’t notice Lando coming back home? 
You stand up and open the door. Apparently you really did miss Lando getting back. He’s standing in front of you. It takes you back to the dilemma you’re still having. Confront Lando or not about what happened? 
“Do you want to have dinner together?” Lando asks you. He almost seems nervous, but you guess that you’re imagining that. 
“That’s fine,” you tell Lando, now you think about it - you could eat something. You’re getting kinda hungry. “Should I cook?” You continue to ask. 
“No,” Lando quickly replies, “I’m going to cook.”
“Can you?” You ask surprised. You can lie about it, but your socials are often filled with content about Lando. Lately it has even been worse. TikTok has shown you multiple ‘thirst’ edits about him, which made you feel things you don’t even want to think about. And if it isn’t content like that, there’s also the videos of his streams, interviews and video’s. And those are exactly why you don’t think it’s smart for Lando to cook. 
“I don’t know,” Lando confesses with a soft laugh, “but how hard can it be to make a pasta?”
“I can help you if you want?” You offer. 
“That sounds like a safe thing to do,” Lando jokes.
Together you walk to the kitchen with Lando. He proudly shows you everything he has bought from the grocery story. Confused you look at all the stuff. You can’t even guess which pasta you’re about to make. There are so much groceries. He even has multiple sorts of pasta laying on the counter. 
“How many people are eating here?” You ask Lando confused. 
“Just us,” Lando informs you. 
“So, you bough four different pasta shapes, every vegetable that there is and three kinds of grated cheese for just the two of us?” You continue to ask.
“I didn’t know which one you liked,” Lando confesses.
“You could have called?” You laugh. 
Lando doesn’t respond anymore. He makes you chose which pasta you want to make with him. After choosing you ask Lando to chop up some onions. Something he clearly struggles with. you’re trying to hold back your laugh, but when Lando almost cuts in his own finger, you let out a loud laugh. Lando is quick to join you. Together you continue cooking. This time you don’t ask Lando to do anything else. Meaning he’s just looking at you while you’re cooking. Lando can’t stop staring at you. He can’t hold back his feelings when he looks at you finding your own way in his apartment. How nice would it be if you were always here? If this would be your home as well? 
When the two of you are eating together a bit later, Lando is showering you in compliments about the pasta. Eventually he even lets out a soft moan while taking a bite of the food. It reminds you of last night. Only thinking about the way Lando moaned your name, makes you feel all kind of things. Fuck. That can’t be good. Lando also thinks about last night, he still feels ashamed about what happened. He wants to apologize for what happened, but he can’t find the right words.
“So, are you already getting used to the apartment?” Lando asks you eventually. It’s not the subject he wanted to speak up about, but maybe he can talk about this first with you? It would be nice to have a normal conversation with you. 
“Kinda,” you answer honestly, “It doesn’t feel like home, but it’s not bad.” Lando nods understandingly in the mean time. “A good night sleep will probably be nice as well,” you add jokingly. 
“Yeah, about that,” Lando starts unsure, “I’m sorry about the last two nights.”
“It’s still your home Lando,” you tell him, “It’s already nice of you that I can stay here, you don’t have to change everything for me.”
“Still,” Lando sighs, “I’ll try to better it, okay?”
“That sounds nice,” you softly say. 
Lando shows you a small smile. “And I want you to feel more at home here,” he continues to tell you, “Does it already feels a bit like home for you?” 
“Not yet,” you confess, “I miss the way my own room looks and the decor stuff and things.”
“You know you can decorate it here as well, right? I really don’t mind if you change some things around the place,” Lando tells you.
“You wouldn’t mind?” You ask surprised.
“No babygirl,” Lando is quick to reply, “I wouldn’t even care if you painted the whole living room pink if that would make you feel more at home.”
At that moment you didn’t really think about what Lando said, but later his words would repeat themselves in your head. Does he really care that much about you feeling at home here?
+++
“Lando?” 
He doesn’t hear you. There isn’t any response coming from the other side of the door. You don’t know what is happening in Lando his room. You only know that he’s alone and that you heard him scream. What’s going on? You knock loudly on his door, but there’s still no response. When you call out his name again, it doesn’t change. You do however hear him yell again. It’s loud and almost feels painful. 
You decide to open the door and to get inside. What if Lando is hurt? When you open the door, Lando is laying in his bed. He doesn’t move up. It seems like he’s asleep. His breathing is loud and fast, maybe even too fast? You wonder if he’s having a nightmare, that would explain the screaming from before. 
Slowly you move yourself closer to Lando his bed. Should you awake him? When you hear him softly whimpering, you decide to awake Lando. You walk until you’re next to his bed, softly you grab his shoulders and start to shake him.
“Lando,” you say a couple times.
Then he’s finally awake. 
“Y/N?”
Lando gives you a confused look. He has no idea what’s going on. Why are you standing in front of him? How did you even get her? Minutes before you were yelling to him, right? The realization hits him that none of that really happened. He just had a bad dream. Maybe you heard him and came to check? 
“Hey,” you softly say, “are you okay?”
“I guess,” Lando mutters, “Did I keep you awake again?” 
“It’s no problem,” you quickly reply, “it sounded like you had a bad dream.”
“Kinda,” Lando confesses. He thinks back about his dream. Even his bad dreams are about you. That’s pathetic. You were screaming and yelling at him, he tries to remember why. Then he remembers the context of his dream. What started like a nice dream in which he was dating you, ended with him disappointing you and having a fight with you. 
“Want to talk about it?” You ask Lando.
“It’s not like you care,” Lando replies without thinking about his words. When he looks at you and notices the hurt expression on your face, he can slap himself out of frustration. Why does he always do this? “Fuck. I didn’t mean it like that,” he quickly apologizes, “Sorry babygirl.”
You try to ignore his earlier words. “Maybe we can watch something together? Take your mind of the nightmare,” you suggest. 
Lando feels himself getting excited. “That sounds great,” he tells you happily, “Do you want to go to the living room or?”
“Or?”
“I have a tv here as well,” Lando tells you while pointing at the television on the wall behind you. “So we can also watch here in my bed,” he explains. 
“What do you want?” You ask Lando. The idea of getting in the same bed with him scares you, but also seems nice. Lando is rather quickly with his answer. He moves himself more to the side of his bed and makes room for you. Without any words you get yourself on his bed. 
Together you search a video on YouTube to watch. You try to get comfortable in Lando his bed, but you can’t seem to find your comfort. Lando watches you. He tries to figure out a way to get you in his arms, but he doesn’t know what to say. Maybe he’s still distracted by the thought that you came here to figure out if he was okay. That must mean something right? Not something big, but at least you don’t hate him? 
“Come here princess,” Lando eventually says with a soft voice. He lifts his arm up. Hopefully you understand what he means. You doubt for a few seconds, but the need for a comfortable spot is high and Lando looks pretty comfortable. So you move yourself closer towards Lando and search for a position in his arms. When your head is laying on his chest, Lando drapes his arm around your body. Softly he plays with your hair.
“Thank you for coming here to check on me,” Lando tells you. You show him a small smile, “Of course Lan.”
“Lan?” He asks you confused. Since when do you have a nickname for him? 
“Is it bad?”
“No,” Lando quickly says, “please keep calling me that.”
The two of you focus on the YouTube video again. When it’s over Lando wants to ask you what you want to see next, but when he looks at you he discovers that you’re already sleeping. There’s a smile growing on his face. Fuck, you look cute like this. And even better, you’re in his arms. Lando puts the television off. Then he’s quick to join you and falls asleep. He wonders what tomorrow will bring, but after today he finally has the idea that he grow a bit closer towards you. Now he needs to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up again. 
a/n ; bit of a background story, next chapters will have more tension :)
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woso-soso · 23 hours
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You're Going To Do Great
Summary: Jessie gets put to the ultimate test, taking care of the team baby.
Word Count: 1,407
I would love to talk to you all so please shoot a message my way letting me know what you think!
I have not proofread yet, please let me know of any major mistakes but I will go back tomorrow and fix anything then!
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You cover your mouth, doing your best to muffle the giggle bubbling inside of you at the look on Jessie’s face. You stand behind the camera as you watch the robotic baby doll get tossed onto the table landing right in front of Jessie. You had been doing media for the Portland Thorns for the last four years, having been lucky to land an entry level position after graduating from UCLA. Which is where you had met Jessie, the two of you having been together now for eight years, married for three of them. 
“What is going on?” She asks cautiously.
“One of the team predictions this year was that there would be another team baby,” you say off camera. “So far we haven’t had one so the team voted to do this, and you were selected to be the honorary mom.” You can see Jessie's nerves clear as day. It was a challenge to even get her to agree to do a video. There was no way you were going to tell her this was the plan. 
“So what am I supposed to do with it?” Jessie asks, picking the doll up slowly. Turning it over towards the camera, the little Portland thorns onesie on full display. 
“Well,” you start “IT’S name is Rose, and she will be spending the day with you.” You toss a ring of cards towards Jessie hoping and praying that her somewhat fast reflexes actually kick in for once. With a small sigh of relief you watch her catch them easily, well somewhat easily, the robot baby narrowly escapes being dropped on the ground. 
“All day?” Jessie’s eyes go wide as she stares past the camera into your eyes.
“All day,” you confirm. “But you’ll have this to aid you,” you toss yet another item at Jessie, the bright blue baby sling landing in front of her in a heap. “And those cards will be your life line, each one represents something different, feeding, changing, burping etcetera. There is also a panic card but trust me you don’t want to use it.” 
“How am I supposed to train with it?” Jessie asks as she fiddles with the baby sling. 
“You’ll figure it out Jessie, by the end of the day you're going to love ROSE.” You emphasize as the freckled woman glares at you. 
“Fine,” she grumbles, “Come help me with this,” she says as the camera is shut off, the baby sling hanging limply in her hand. With a soft smile on your face you go over to help her clip the robotic baby in. “Maybe this will be good practice,” Jessie whispers her hand resting gently on your slightly swollen abdomen. You were only four months along and no one on the team was aware of the impending arrival of baby Fleming, but you were ok with that. The two of you holding your notoriously very private status like a badge of honor. 
“I’m sure you’ll do amazing, just like with everything else,” You affirm as you brush her hair aside to clip the top of the sling. 
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The camera crew follows Jessie around for the rest of the day, capturing every moment they can. You personally watch from your office window that faces down onto the training pitch. You laugh to yourself as you watch her attempt to leave the baby on the side lines, but the robotic screaming starts almost instantly. Jessie rushes to try and stop the crying, tapping every card on the ring multiple times until you see her visibly relax. Her teammates chirping at her as she heads back on to the pitch. 
You know for a fact that she has set off the panic card multiple times, the app connected to your phone alarming multiple times as she franctiled tried to get the screaming to stop. You watch as practice comes to a pause. Pushing away from your desk you slowly make your way down to the pitch. 
“Y/N,” shouts Olivia, the young girl attaching herself to your hip the second you're in sight. The much younger girl having become like a younger sister over the years as you took on a caregiver role while on the road. 
“Shhhhhh,” Jessie hisses at her “It just got quiet lets please not set it… “a loud screech echoes across the stadium. “Off.” Jessie sighs heavily as she digs out the cards again, starting the process of tapping every card not even taking a second to look at which was which. 
“Jessie, shouldn’t you be looking at the cards.” Olivia quips. “I don’t know if they didn’t have these in Canada but the more you hit it with the wrong card the worse your score is.” 
“IT'S SCORED?” Jessie asks panicked, turning towards you like you’ve betrayed her. 
“I told you to not hit it willy-nilly with the cards didn’t I,” Your eyebrow raised in question. 
“But you didn’t say I would be scored,” she exclaims. 
“Well,” you start, eyeing the cameras around you, “you might want to start making up for it, you might be able to redeem yourself before the end of day.” 
“Come on Jessie I raised you to be better to kids then that,” Sincy says patting the younger woman on the back as they head in for lunch. 
“If you think you’d be so good at it you take the baby then,” Jessie grunts in frustration as she shoves the plastic baby into the older womens arms. “I just need a minute away from the screaming.” Before Sincy can object Jessie is darting off into the cafeteria. 
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By the end of the afternoon your phone has gone off another five times, the notifications popping up indicating that Jessie has yet again messed up and used the panic card. You take your time making your way to the locker room, meeting up with the camera crew along the way. You knock before entering the locker room, the screaming robot baby being all you can hear as people start to pack up for the night. Jessie having shoved the baby under a pile of pennies to try and muffle some of the screams.
“I don’t think that suffocating the baby bodes well for your score,” Your voice causes Jessie to jump suddenly as she whirls around to look at you. Her hand shooting into the pile of pennies to retrieve the robot.  
“I….” Jessie stammers. 
“It’s okay, give me the doll.” Your hand stretched out to take the screaming doll from her. Quickly flipping it over and turning it off. 
“She could have just turned it off all day?” Sophia shouts from across the locker room. 
“She could have,” you start with a smirk “but it wouldn’t have ended well for her if she had.” Jessies normally red cheeks flush even brighter. “Now, who here wants to know what Jessie scored on caring for our lovely Rose here?” 
“ME!” Exclaims a good portion of the crowd gathered in the room, the cameras panning across the grinning faces before settling on a flustered Jessie. 
“Mrs Fleming here has scored an impressive,” you pause for a moment to raise the intensity “57 percent, not too good there Mrs Fleming, looks like you might have some learning to still do.” You can make out a few digs and laughs in the locker room, most of them poking fun at Jessie for being as smart as she is. You hear quite a few questioning if that's the lowest grade she's ever gotten. 
You check behind you to be sure the cameras are off before making your way over to the shorter brunette, her cheeks bright red and eyes turned downward. She doesn’t necessarily look upset, more so uncomfortable with all the attention on her. 
“Am I really going to be that bad?” She questions quietly, her eyes moving to meet yours. “Am I going to break our baby,” her voice even quieter than before, wanting to maintain this secret from everyone for as long as possible. 
“Jessie Alexandra Fleming you are going to do great, amazing even. Trust me, I wouldn’t have a baby with anyone but you.” Your hand takes hers, your thumb gently running across the back of her hand. 
“Really?” She asked.
“Really,” you say gently, leaning down to place a soft kiss to her lips, her cheeks instantly flaming even more brightly at the very very rare show of affection in public.
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sporesgalaxy · 2 days
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The way Dungeon Meshi does gender makes me insane. It’s stated over and over that Falin and Laios really are more similar than anyone is looking for- Laios directly states as much at one point, Marcille mentions it when Falin wakes up the first time and starts bemoaning not eating any monsters, the magic mirror story even has fem!Toshiro crushing on Laios- but Laios is so protective of his little sister. Laios leaves home to start making a life he can one day share with her. And she leaves magic school because he has failed, and failed so hard that she’s worried that she might never see him again if she lets him leave without her. He wants to protect her from the way the world treats him, but he does not or does not want to understand the terrible truth- the world will never treat her as harshly as it does him, because she is a pretty ‘quirky’ girl and he is a big autistic man. Falin is happy, doing well in her own sphere, making a single friend (because she is still autistic, and has struggles of her own, even if they’re a different kind), but Laios still feels a need to protect her because his experience of this world has been nothing but cold shoulders and distrust all the way down. This story makes me want to sprint into the river. Laios and Falin are the best characters of all time.
Ouhhhhh I dont have time to reread dungeon meshi to give you good sources but based on my doodoo memory and vibes therein: I have to disagree that Falin was necessarily doing "well," and I especially disagree that the tragedy here is that Laios was doing something unnecessary by trying to make a place in the world for him and Falin.
Falin gets along seemingly ok in the world but it's because she's agreeable to a fault .
What's so interesting to me about the Touden siblings is the different ways they've learned to deal with being The Odd Man Out. Laios set out to try and forcefully carve out a PLACE for him and Falin in the world, where they could both openly and unabashedly be themselves.....Falin stayed behind, and learned how to hide the things that made her stick out too much, and how to appease people on the verge of rejecting her and Laios.
That can be functional, but it isn't good. It isn't happiness. It hurts in a million tiny ways every single day, to hide yourself out of fear of rejection like that.
At school, Falin must have spent a lot of time alone before she befriended Marcille, since Falin was familiar enough with the surrounding wilderness that she knew where that small Dungeon opening was. She sought out what happiness she could by following her unusual passions in more private ways, where no one would judge her for it. Falin didn't expect anyone NOT to judge her for her "weirdness" before she met Marcille, so Falin didn't even try to connect with anyone before Marcille at a level more personal than "classmate." That's not doing well. That's not living.
This kind of self-isolation is a coping mechanism for neurodivergence that functions for a while, but it eats away at you. Falin considered marrying Toshiro despite not loving him, essentially because it seemed like the normal thing to do and she didn't think she'd get another chance to be married at all. What if she had gone through with that, or something similar by the same reasoning? Laios lived in a state of being rejected over and over, which obviously hurts like hell. In contrast, Falin was willing to live a life she never wanted just to avoid total rejection. That can be incredibly painful too, in its own way.
Falin and Laios were BOTH tragically fighting doomed battles to find a place for themselves in the world during the time they were separated. Working together, supporting each other, they're able to do a lot more. Cries.
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byoldervine · 2 days
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Why You Should ‘Make Yourself’ Write (And How To Do It)
Most people who write for a hobby - especially the neurodivergent crowd - will write whenever they’re inspired, and many will be able to get an insane amount of writing done in one go, but then there’s a good while of writer’s block and low motivation/inspiration in between those bursts of creativity. You can see forcing yourself to write as something irrelevant to you; it’s just a hobby, so why burn yourself out forcing yourself to do it until it’s no longer fun?
The reason people say this, even for hobbyists, is so that you have some level of consistent progress; relying on random spikes in creativity or convenient hyperfocus isn’t a sustainable plan when it can either leave you burnt out after or leave you at a creative dead end for weeks or months between actual writing sessions
If you write consistently, you make progress consistently, so it’s good practice to make a habit out of using writing goals to keep you on track. Maybe you work best writing X amount of words, or maybe you prefer to write for X amount of time. Maybe you want to meet this goal every day, or maybe every few days, or maybe every week, or so on. I’m personally on 1000 words per week, and despite my autistic brain that thought I’d never be able to set and keep a consistent goal, I’ve been able to stick to it for nearly six months now. I also know people who are on 10 minutes per day, 100 words per week, 500 words every three days, 5000 words per month, etc
For me, being able to keep track of this not only means I get to see consistent progress being made, but it’s actually been really encouraging to see that word count go up so often and I’ve found that it motivates me to keep up with it. I’ve really enjoyed getting to work on this and having a minimum amount of progress per week really helps me feel like this is something real and something that’s slowly but surely going to be complete soon enough
Give it a try; say to yourself “if I want to achieve this goal, how long do I reasonably need to give myself to do it?” and have a go. After a few cycles it starts to register in your brain that, hey, you’re actually getting something done and being productive and watching that word count going up every day/week/etc! And don’t be afraid to change up your goal and your deadline if you think you’re not being challenged enough or if you’re starting to get burnt out on it - I’d consider it burning out when it’s consistently feeling less like a fun activity and more like a chore you have to do. It should still be fun!
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meanbossart · 1 hour
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ASK COMPILATION ABOUT THE WEIRD DROW
Replying to a couple of shorter questions! Sorry that I can't get to all of you lest this blog just turns into a stream of constant asks, but I read all of your messages and to be honest there are several that I'm saving to draw something for 😭 alas there are only so many hours in a day.
Thank you for all the support and interactivity as always!
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He takes fairly good care of things he considers important or useful - otherwise he's pretty messy or at least indifferent to mess. Definitely a "leaves the wet towel on the bed" guy LOL
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Okay so I was bad and not used to DnD mechanics or spells the first time I played the game, so I RARELY ever cast Speak With Animals and had very little sense of their personality during his campaign - BUT THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHEN I DID.
THERE WAS ONE TIME WHERE I REMEMBERED.
AND IT WAS PERFECT.
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He adores and most of all respects this intense little guy with his whole heart.
[MORE UNDER THE CUT]
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Serious answer: he respects wild animals far too much to try and make one into a pet.
Non-serious but still true answer: He would never do that and have to deal with Astarion's incessant Drizzt Do'urden joke comparisons for the rest of his existence. That's that man's personal hell.
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He's fairly adaptable! But as far as dynamics go, he does lean bottom regardless of who he's with in bed, but this doesn't necessarily translate into always being on the receptive end of things.
If he were to be with a cisgender woman who doesn't wear a strap like its a second pair of briefs, he would be more than happy to be the pitcher the majority of the time. I think the only scenario where he would be dissatisfied is a restrictive one - he couldn't be with someone who doesn't want to enjoy his whole body in earnest, or who can't flip the roles every once in a while. Also, you have to be a little gross. He has probably caught Astarion off-guard with the things he did on a whim/suggested they do more than once. All in all, as long as whoever he's with is versatile and not a prude, they could probably make it work.
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He killed Minthara in her lair and all he got was a bear out of it. Good thing killing her was it's own reward!
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MAN... Could just be that his story is far too concrete in my brain already, but it's hard for me to see that working. They are both far too out of touch with their emotions and quiet in their demeanor for me to envision a durable romance sparking. Also, DU drow (who has no clue how old he is himself) thinks of Shadowheart as being far too young for him.
There is a mutual understanding between them that there is a barrier that neither of them is willing to let the other get past - and because that is something they both share, they won't, and they might never try. They work so well as friends because of their similarities, but in a relationship I think that would be to their detriment.
Also, I think silver-haired Shadowheart's wants and needs for her future far diverge from DU drow's chaotic lifestyle, ultimately It's probably best for them to make their own paths.
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HAHAHAHA LISTEN.... YOU'RE TALKING AS IF THOSE TWO THINGS DON'T GO TOGETHER PERFECTLY WELL BUT IN MY MIND THEY ARE ONE AND THE SAME.
The thing about DU drow is that he might be a bottom, but he's a very... Uh, engaged bottom. He can be as dominant with a dick in his ass as he can be submissive depending on how it jives with his partner- and he's gonna spew some nonsense either way LOL
Either way... I feel ya brother 😔🍑
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He did it himself during a dinner Gortash invited him to. At the table. With a meat knife. He was trying to prove a really stupid point/put Gortash off of him.
I have a script for this and I still need to draw it someday! 🤦‍♂️
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He doesn't think anything of it now - it's so far in the past and DU drow obviously isn't the judgemental type when it comes to sordid individuals LOL
As a person, however, Astarion likely wasn't the kind of guy that he would have gotten along with, and vice-versa. Sounds to me like he was pretty poshy and did all his misdeeds under the table - DU drow wouldn't have strong feelings about it from an ethical standpoint, but he wouldn't respect it either. Also, DU drow's is practically anarchistic in his political views - soooooo not much room there to be in love with politicians. I'm sure pre-vampirism Astarion would have less than favorable opinions about him as well so the feeling would have been mutual LOL.
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ABSOLUTELY NOT HE NEEDS BOTH EYES TO CUT THROUGH FOES he will gladly put Gale on the slab to see what happens though LMAO
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cupids-chamber · 3 days
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𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐒
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Hi, so I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. This is a impromptu decision, so I don't know if I'll come back in like a day and correct myself. But I've been debating on this decision for a long time, so yea.
[ below the undercut you'll find some of my reasons for this decision, and etc, I'd be grateful if you take your time reading it. ]
I don't feel comfortable as 'Cupid', I guess it's because 'Cupid' was never supposed to be my persona, she was just an oc who's running this blog, and it was supposed to be fun, mini lore bits, or whatever, and I thought the idea was really cool back then. . up until people started calling me Cupid.
I guess overtime, I never made a serious effort to correct it, so like it just became me? But like as shit went on and on and on . . It felt weird, I guess a sort of imposter syndrome or like identity crises started forming? I . . didn't feel like myself, I guess I felt like whatever 'Cupid' was.
And as months passed with this sort of identity crises, I started questioning my personality, my interests, if my friends here truly liked me, or if I was more open or idk myself? If they'd still like me? I'm not a chronically online person, in fact I've realized pretty recently that I hate staying in one place, I love the outdoors, and if I could I'd socialize more, but I also overthink and get embarrassed easily. I don't like being on my pc 24/7, yes it's something I still do, but I feel terrible after doing so.
I actually picked up certain interests I've had in the passed again, and I've felt more like myself. I don't know, I think I've realized that my relationship with this blog has been unhealthy, it's always been unhealthy, and my identity crises was the least extreme problem I've had due to this blog.
Actually, the game, the controversies, the fights, everything I've experienced on this blog, has left lasting physical damage on my body, I can't handle anxiety, I can't handle stress, and it's because the moment I get anxiety, stressed, or begin to overthink, I get immensely nauseas, I'm stuck in the bathroom, and if I don't throw up it feels worse, I can't eat, I'm unproductive for hours if one things ticks off my anxiety. I feel unlike myself, and the thing is, I can't fix it, it's just how I'm now. I have pills I have to take for this itself, and honestly they've not been 100% helpful.
Alongside abundance of other problems, mental breakdowns, and so much more shit, this blog has truly done nothing but make everything so much worse for me. If I had one good day or week with this blog and the people around me, I can expect a month of bad in return, and there comes a point where I genuinely cannot fake confidence out of it.
I genuinely think I need to dissociate from 'Cupid', she's not me, I'm not her. As I'm typing this, I genuinely wonder, what am I truly? Up until now my identity, was what I formed through 'Cupid', and honestly I don't even know where I'm going with this, I genuinely am just . . done. I'm tired. I've tried, I have not succeeded in overcoming any problems this blog has caused me.
I think a part of me is so attached to this blog, because of 'Cupid' and of course because it helped me out of my depressive pit, but as these last few weeks pass, and I edge closer to my final year before university, I feel myself returning to that depressive pit, worse than ever . . so at that point, I can't help but ask myself, what was the point of me staying on this blog despite the clear signs and warnings for me to leave?
I really don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm really grateful for everyone who has followed this blog, who have given me the chance to improve my writing. I guess it's time for a genuine goodbye? Because as I'm writing this, I don't really plan on coming back and that's the honest truth, with every hiatus I try and dance around a final goodbye but after this week I genuinely think this is the best decision for myself.
Note : Kindly do not call refer to me as 'Cupid', or anything if you plan on responding and if you do want to remain in contact with me, please message me for my new discord account. I probably won't respond fast as I try and maintain a distance from this account and don't bother contacting me on discord, I'm taking a break from the account as well <3
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jeons-catalyst · 2 days
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https://twitter.com/Teuksj3/status/1792106543447470126?t=B2K6EGDOVIyEIqjK1vR3sw&s=19
I read your post about jm the other day and saw this on Twitter Today and this is actually not the first tims I'm seeing armys or others say things like this about him. Those are basically antis actually and all of them believe that jimin is not actually the Angel that he seems and it's the company that portrays him this way lol. They're wondering why it's always jm jm everywhere but has they stopped to think for a while that people see jm always everywhere cause he's actually the ONLY member who has been with every single member for their solo project? Like he's the only one who managed to do that out of his busy schedule apart from hanging out with them as you said. I'm sure if hobi was here he'd have gone to other members as well. Jm and hobi are the glue of the group cause others do it for one or two members while these two tries their best to be the same for everyone.
Your ask reminded me of this post i made a few days ago.
The thing is Jimin sometimes seems too good to be true. His kindness, emotional intelligence, selfless and attentiveness especially towards his members is incredible. Many people in the world don’t know people as selfless and caring as Jimin is so that is why the first thing they say is that his kindness is pretentious and that the company tries to portray him that way even though he isn’t really like that. They find it extremely difficult to believe that one person can actually possess all these amazing qualities and that’s on them.
The thing is, it’s not just what we see Jimin do but also what the members have said about him countless times.
Here is Jk saying that Jimin’s charm is his thoughtfulness or how considerate he is
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And then we have Namjoon talking about how selfless and likeable Jimin and how he basically always puts others before himself.
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And then we have all those instances that Tae has spoken about how much Jimin was there for him, how he listened to his worries, cried with him, laughed with him and this time he wrote this very beautiful letter to Jimin and even cried while reading it
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We have Hobi talking about Jimin’s emotional intelligence and how Jimin is a donsaeng who feels more like a same age friend.
Jin too has spoken endlessly about how kind and considerate Jimin is and i even remember that time when he said if he were to pick any member to date, it would be Jimin because Jimin is just too kind.
Suga teases the heck outta Jimin but he never fails to talk about Jimin’s kindness, intelligence and talents.
My point is, Jimin’s kindness and thoughtfulness cannot be something the company is trying to potray which isn’t the truth because the members themselves who know Jimin and have lived with him for so many years have spoken endlessly about his kindness. The members constantly praise each other for different things but no other member has been praised for their kindness and thoughtfulness as much as Jimin has by his own members. People can say anything they want to say about Jimin but saying that his kindness and support towards his members is all for show is just ridiculous. He has been consistent. And like you said, he and Hobi are the two who try to be there for everyone. This ofcourse doesn’t mean that the other members don’t care , it’s just that for Jimin and Hobi, it is important for them be there for everyone they care about whenever they can.
We don’t see Jimin being present for everyone because the company wants to potray him as some kind person. We see him being present for everyone because he takes the initiative to be present for everyone. Jimin is kind and thoughtful and selfless and considerate. He does things for people who wouldn’t do the same thing for him and doesn’t seem to expect anything in return. People like this do exist but some armys are having a hard time believing this because they just aren’t used to seeing people being this perfect.
On that note, let’s end with my favourite tweet of all time.
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Because he is honey. Because he is💛😌
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twodogs-twocats · 2 days
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Sleep Token as Roomates
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For whatever reason, my Sleep Token fixation has chosen to lodge itself in my brain in the form of a New Girl-esque scenario…
Translation: You and all four band members are roommates. Annnd there is definitely romantic tension with every one of them.
And here is what that looks to me 🤘
Content Warning: very little justification for any of this. Just my 🌈imagination🌈
POV: fem reader
Vessel:
- the one everyone thinks is in charge.
- the most fun one to do chores with. he will get them done, but have a good time along the way. car karaoke on the way to get groceries, dance parties in the kitchen while cooking, playing the floor is lava while vacuuming. he will always try to make you smile even during the most boring of tasks
- workout gear everywhere. he’s got a pull up bar installed above his door, where he does shirtless pull-ups every morning. you only watch sometimes…
- honestly, probably always shirtless in general
- the best smelling of the bunch. lights incense and candles on the reg
- always doing little things to impress you. like as soon as you come home, he starts playing piano, or doing pushups. and then will pretend he didn’t know you were home when he catches you watching
- likes to come up behind you. if you are standing at the kitchen counter, he will reach around you to grab something, with his chest pressed up against you. he uses his size to his advantage, and he gets the sense you like how big he is
- paints your nails sometimes. and sometimes wants you to paint his. black polish only
- a very good cook. often cooks family dinners
- a bit unhinged, but I could see vessel borrowing your clothes and jewelry. like going to bed in your tshirt or stealing some of your rings for his shows
- honestly, I just picture roommate vessel as a generally soft goof
II
- the one who’s actually in charge
- very clean and organized. keeps everyone else in line (if you know the show new girl, to me, II is a quieter, scarier Schmidt lol)
- he’s the best listener. when you have had a rough day, he will listen to you vent for hours. or if you need help making a decision, he will help talk you through it. he gives 100% attention to everything you say
- he will surprise you with finishing little chores for you. you’ll come home to a freshly washed car, or your laundry already folded
- a plant guy. always brings home plants and takes very good care of them. runs your little family garden
- morning person. this man is up at the crack of dawn and has already accomplished about a dozen things before anyone else is even up
- enjoys learning about your hobbies. if you are a reader, he wants to know what you’re reading. if you’re trying to learn something new, he will help you practice
- toxic trait is that he would be the most jealous if you ever brought someone home. like very openly hostile
- light touches. like he tries so hard to keep it platonic, but you’ll feel his hand on your back when he walks around you, or his fingers will linger on yours just too long if he hands you something
III
- the messiest of the bunch. like he will help out with cleaning, but if anyone is leaving laundry or dirty dishes around, it’s this man (often causes little spats with II)
- loud and fun. he is always singing, dancing, playing music. when you get home he will greet you with a big hug. his goal in life is to make you laugh
- likes to braid your hair. and you help him with his space buns
- takes the longest in the bathroom for sure. He enjoys regular bubble baths, and often teases you that you are welcome to join him
- when III’s energy has come down a bit, he is a master at chilling. Im talking movie nights with popcorn and candy, building blanket forts with lots of pillows. (he will sometimes try to sneak an arm around your shoulder. Not unusual for you two to end up *platonically* cuddling on the couch)
- the best dancer. You always bring him when you go out dancing or to a concert.
- the most openly flirty. will always compliment your outfits and tell you how beautiful you look.
- he will also find any way possible to touch you, even when it’s completely unnecessary — hugs when you come home, putting his hand on your knees when he’s talking to you, and occasionally even kissing you on the cheek. he especially loves to see you blushing and flustered
- tinkers with his guitar into the late hours of the night. the sound often puts you to sleep
IV
- the most “bro”-y of the roomates
- like the only one of you who will ever put sports on tv (and you all complain and tell him to put on something else)
- the house barista. makes great coffee and is very particular about his process.
- you like to take naps with IV. You both will pile on the couch and fall asleep watching some stupid comedy. you often end up with your head in his lap and his hand resting on your waist.
- has a bit of a staring problem. he is the most obvious one about checking you out, and he does not seem to care if you notice. when you get dressed up, he will give you a full head to toe scan, and then proceed to stare at you like he wants to eat you (and he probably does, of course)
- enjoys going on walks with you. might not say much, but he always has a good time
- adds lots of artistic touches to the home. buying art or cool knickknacks to add around the house. this man has excellent taste
- the most protective of you. makes sure he knows where you are at and who you’re with. installed a lock on your bedroom door so you could have some privacy. (but he kept a key for himself, you know, just in case)
Etc.
- you definitely have a black house cat, and II is definitely the cat’s favorite
- your living room has been taken over by musical instruments. there is always, always music playing in the house
- all the boys are great at comforting you when you are sad. I could see any one of them holding you while you cry
- big family movie nights. all the boys love movies, so you will all regularly get together to watch something
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ironunderstands · 2 days
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How do you feel about the Penacony final boss?
I love it both gameplay and story wise.
I’m gonna yap about the gameplay because I actually adore HSR’s combat system so yeah. Personally, I think the weakness break = gained shield mechanic is great, as you are a) forced to use Harmony MC who is an amazing breaker and also buffs characters who like breaking which causes b) you bring characters who also like breaking things, which is a really good way to Segway into the new break effect meta we will be seeing, and allows players to get a feel for it before Boothill and Firefly really release.
Also like, the music, the design, the Bible references, Robin? Robin. Witness the will of the weak? Chucking the fucking astral express at Sunday? How Sunday literally and metaphorically attacks us with music? The boss switching faces to look more like Ena’s puppet form at the end? I love it.
Story wise, it’s an amazing way to end Penacony. Harmony vs the Order, Robin vs Sunday, Everyone vs the Family. The shot where Robin catches Sunday is like engraved into my brain. The fact that he’s the bird who can’t fly and she’s the own who can, so he plummets and she flies to save him. How only when we defeat Sunday, can he be truly free.
“People dream because one day they will wake up “ UGHHHH RAAAAAAAAAA. I can’t express why this line is just so fucking good, but I will try. In your dreams, you experience a warped version of reality. Perhaps it’s what you want to see, perhaps it’s what you don’t want to see, perhaps it’s something else entirely. In this, dreams mirror life. They prepare us to live, they give us experiences we might never have in reality, they show us possibilities we may or may not encounter. However, dreams are fleeting and you will eventually wake up. That’s why people want to dream, because they want to experience reality, every part of it, the good and the bad, even the unimaginable, just without the consequences.
So when you inevitably wake up, and the dreams are no more, the only thing that remains are the memories of those dreams. Those dear memories, which you learn from again and again and again. So you dream, again, and again, and again, because only in reality can you appreciate and learn from the dream, and only in the dream can you truly understand reality. I can’t really phrase why I adore this line, so hopefully you can at least get an idea from this.
I honestly struggle to explain why I love 2.2 (and Penacony as a whole) in general, if I were to try, I’d probably say I just really love power of friendship plots. Call it corny or stupid, you are wrong! Incorrect! People coming together to support one another and achieve a common goal is the best thing ever! I adore how so many different factions with their own goals and philosophies and motives and methods from across the universe of hsr come together to fight for their freedom. To work well, in Harmony. To prove that no matter who or what you are, your life does not and should not be defined by Order.
So yeah, it’s great, hopefully I can phrase why it’s great in the future but for now I hope this satisfies
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Tokyo Revengers Headcanons
・���・Mistuya Takashi・❥・
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✶ He is literal dream boyfriend for sure. He's handsome, cute, kind, stylish and whatnot. Who wouldn't want him? I mean, there already are many girls in his school simping for him.
✶ Of course, despite that, he only has his eyes for you.
✶ He proves that he loves you through actions and words. He's always sincere when telling you how much you mean to him.
✶ His sisters love you so much! They always ask him to take them at your place, or if he bring you with him.
✶ He loves kissing your forehead.
✶ He's not bold enough to flirt with you in public or anything. He just holds your hand, talking or listening to you.
✶ He loves riding his bike with you! Tho he can't often ride with you when it's late, considering the fact that he has sisters to take care of.
✶ He makes sure everyone in his school, especially in his fashion club, knows that you two are dating.
✶ He takes you to home, to school and to literally anywhere you want.
✶ He loves choosing outfits for you and you also ask him for help when you don't know what to wear and my god, he never disappoints.
✶ He takes you on dates literally every time he can.
✶ He never involves you in Toman business and rarely takes you with him when there's a meeting. He HATES involving you in type of gang stuff. That's because he doesn't want you to get hurt.
✶ Of course he introduces you to his friends. Mikey, Draken, Baji, Hakkai, Yuzuha, Takemichi, Nahoya and Souya, Pah and Peh..You're especially close to Yuzuha and Hakkai tho.
✶ He loves going on shoppings with you.
✶ He's the most supportive boyfriend someone could have.
・❥・Chifuyu Matsuno・❥・
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✶ Let's get the priorities straight, you love Peke-J and Peke-J loves you so much.
✶He often sends you cats memes/videos. Like he's such a cat lover.
✶We all know that he's not very good at date ideas. He always surprises you with his silly things he thought about but it's actually so cute to see him so determined to surprise you and make sure you enjoy the date.
✶He's so interested in fighting and all, so he often talks about it and Toman. Ofc his entire personality isn't based on that tho.
✶When I say that he has most silly yet best ways to cheer you up, I mean it. This guy will immediately make you smile, no matter how bad your day will be.
✶He loves seeing you in his clothes. Like he LOVES it when you wear his jacket or hoodie.
✶Since Takemichi has a girlfriend, Chifuyu sometimes finds himself asking him for advice. Other times, he's taking ideas from mangas.
✶Oh and you two literally just cuddle, blanket over you two, popcorn in hand and watching animes with so much interest.
✶He's not really jealous type but I can see him getting jealous sometimes. He'd be all pouty at that time, trying to brush his jealousy off.
✶He was shy at first but he became bolder as time passed by.
✶He confessed first. (Dare I say that he had to practice for 36354th times with Baji, Takemichi and probably even asked Draken/Kawata Twins for help.)
✶He loves when you fall asleep on him.
✶When you two finally gathered courage to kiss each other, that's exactly when Peke-J crawled on both of you.
✶He NEVER forgets important days such as your birthday, white day, valentine and etc. And he has very...Interesting ideas for gifts<3
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How is motherhood (so far)? It seems like such a crazy shift from one life to another!
it is SO good so far!!! here are some scattered feelings & thoughts:
i have been warned that a big hormone crash is coming and i am sure that will be tough to weather! but right now i am feeling so good - still just riding that endorphin high. i feel physically good too, like tired and a little sore, but really way better than i expected to feel three days after giving birth.
my transition into parenthood has been majorly eased by the fact that my mom is here and is doing virtually all of the newborn care tasks for me right now - nighttime feedings (i take over around 5am but my hands are so bad in the night), diaper changes, tracking how much he's eating, making food, etc. she is even helping me breastfeed because it involves a level of manual dexterity i am not currently capable of most of the time. i am so so so so so so grateful to have her here. part of me feels kind of guilty, like i'm probably supposed to be feeling way more stressed out and overwhelmed trying to manage the cognitive and physical demands of new parenthood, but i am trying to quiet that voice in my brain by reminding myself that there are going to be PLENTY of times in the future where i'll get to feel overwhelmed and exhausted and in over my head as a single parent. she is so happy and so excited to do this for me, and i am trying to just let myself rest and enjoy it.
it is so special to do this with my mom. i was saying to her yesterday, like, i can totally see how taking care of a new baby with a partner would be a richly meaningful experience, and i can see that there are things i am missing out on on that front. but also if i were doing this with a partner i wouldn't get to be doing this with my mom, and i would be missing out on an experience that i am finding just as richly meaningful and rewarding. i feel so close to her and i love her so much and i know that for the rest of my life i am going to remember how special it was to get to watch her love owen so much and take such good care of him (and me) in his first days of life. i feel so lucky. i thought i would feel SO overwhelmed but instead i just feel really loved and taken care of, and i feel really close to my mom, and i feel like we are the happiest little family unit right now. i love it so much. also she calls him "my little guy" and “my best friend” and i almost cry every time. hormones but also love, you know.
owen is perfect. i feel like i felt intensely close to him right after the birth, and then i had kind of a hard first day after in the hospital where there were just TOO MANY PEOPLE coming in at all hours and doing exams on me or on him, and there was no time to rest and bond with him, and i started feeling very overwhelmed and kinda like do i even KNOW this baby? this baby is a STRANGER to me and if i hadn't had a baby i would be at HOME right now in my own SPACE without anyone coming in every 15 min day and night to bother me. that first long hospital day was really rough and then i was relieved to finally get home that night but also super cranky and tired, and i couldn't figure out how to get my pump to work, and he got very fussy in the night and i was like AAAAAAA. but then we spent all of yesterday doing so much skin-to-skin cuddling and napping in bed which is just the nicest thing imaginable, and now i am like this is my BABY he is PERFECT look at him!!!! he is so snuggly and good.
i am glad that my brother had a newborn a couple months before i did because i think it helped prepare me for how gently boring the newborn stage can be lol. not in a bad way! it's so sweet and i think will involve lots of wonderful sleepy snuggling!! but they are awake so infrequently and do not have personalities yet, and you are kind of like hm. should more be happening, or...? but no. nothing more should be happening lol they will just be sweet sleepy lumps for a good long time. my nephew is nine? ten? weeks old now and is definitely starting to become way more alert/engaged, so i know a personality is coming haha and i will just enjoy my little sweet lump right now because he won't be like this ever again!! also it's nice to be able to just let him sleep next to me while i do other stuff. i think it will ease the transition a bit... like yes now we are on this endless cycle of pumping, attempting to breastfeed, bottlefeeding him, changing him, watching him sleep, pumping again, etc but i can read or watch stuff in between because he requires so little attention while sleeping (except for LOTS OF KISSES he requires LOTS OF LITTLE KISSES because he is so SWEET!!!!). also idk i am sure i will get bored of being off work but right now it has been so restful to delete outlook & teams from my phone and just be like who cares about weird office politics i have way more important things to do like kiss a sleeping baby on the forehead a hundred times and tell him he is the best and handsomest boy in the whole world. life is very good lol.
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bearw-me · 2 days
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Hellooooo! You write Lute so well (the best in my humble opinion), sooo I figured you'd be the best person to bring this request to🖤
Could i request a lute x girlfriend!reader where they used to be long-term best friends, but during the friendship reader was convinced she was straight bc she'd never been attracted to a woman before Lute.
Now they're in a new relationship and Lute is helping her girlfriend come to terms with her sexual orientation/identity as a bisexual. Or a lute-sexual considering Lute's still the only woman she's ever had an attraction to 💀
*Bonus points if reader expresses that she's afraid she won't be a good girlfriend considering she'd only been with 1 man before her and doesn't know how to "properly treat" a woman (She treats Lute great as a gf and a friend, poor thing's just new to this)*
Lmbo imagine reader just having bi-panic anytime she interacted with Lute during their friendship Or getting flustered anytime Lute did anything remotely attractive during their relationship
Thank youuuuu! Also random question: who's your fav character in Hazbin?
ty for such kind words! :')
+ fav hazbin character isss- lets say husk (i feel a kinship with him lol, plus i LOVE keith davis's voice) i also adore angel and adam <3
𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬? — 𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐜𝐬
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𐐒 ft : lute x girlfriend!reader 𐐒 cw : fluff, slight angst, lute makes you blush as per usual 𐐒 summary : lute assures you she's happy-more than happy- to be with you, despite being the first woman you've ever dated + drabble at the end :) 𐐒 note : lute-sexual is SO relatable
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Lute just holding both sides of your face, squishing you while she reassures you that: "You are an amazing girlfriend"
She sighs, "Don't be stupid."
she's always trying to physically smoosh the sentiment into you, either with her kisses or by holding you down and affirming you.
Lute is very gentle, emotionally speaking. She understands the new-raw emotions you must be feeling, being in a relationship with a woman for the first time.
If you're having a hard time coming to terms with your sexuality, Lute can wait as long as it takes.
You're both in the same boat: She's never been in a relationship, and you've never been with a woman.
As her best-friend, you try to be there for her through laughs and sorrows.
Eyeing her curves and respecting her brilliance in battle. . . her ability to not be talked down to no matter the foe.
For all those years you lusted for her. . . you mistook the feelings for friendly support, ignoring the way you'd blush when you watched her come back from training: A sports bra, and long martial arts shorts adorning her heavenly body. The muscles around her back built to shoulder the burden of wings, and a strong core to match.
A literal form build by god. . . the sight making you tremble with nerves.
And. . . now you were with her.
Lute adores all the thoughtful gifts you give her throughout the day. It makes her smile, silently treasuring the things you buy or find for her.
In a relationship, I think Lute can already tell whenever you become flustered by her or overwhelmed.
For example: she takes her shirt off and turns to you, watching you tremble and bury your burning face into your hands, attempting to hide it from her but peeking through your fingers.
She thinks its the cutest fucking thing in the world.
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"Lute? How can I even be a good girlfriend for you? I don't... I don't know how to..." You manage to spit out as she walks over to the bed your sitting on.
She smiles softly, crawling over to sit on your lap, cupping your face in her hands to stop you from hiding.
"Babe, you're a fucking great girlfriend," she assures you.
And Lute revels in your beauty, holding your face and running her thumbs over your cheeks, and committing every bump and blemish to memory.
"Kiss me?" You ask her happily, almost like a puppy.
And its Lute's turn to blush, her face bursting into a fiery red bliss, tackling you backward onto the bed in an attempt to distract.
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aphmaus recent vidcon news is..interesting and yknow what, i know we are most likely getting a mystreet update, and i dont wanna be too harsh here but i fear that its gonna go right back to cocomau videos after she DOES finish mystreet finally, cause..come on
that girl is not gonna try and remake mcd for a THIRD TIME, that poor series ever getting a proper redo died as soon as the pandemic happened and her switching to brainrot content
and..my inner demons?...fuck..girl I don't know...like..did anyone even ask about MID at the last vidcon panel??? like..AT ALL???
(MORE BELOW)
Like truely I'd love it if maybe her finishing mystreet could be a great way to launch her into posting GOOD content again especially if shes showing her newer audience something that isnt colorful sludge, and maybe we could see mcd maybe in a different form one day, like a poorly written novel/j, as she creates even newer roleplays, like god she could maybe bring back void paradox!...but i also have a strange feeling that shes finishing mystreet with season 7 and nothing beyond that, just to wrap it up and get it out of her hair.
But thats just my opinion really, we really could get the good ol classic roleplays again, i just hope season 7 isnt getting rushed or half-assed, as much shit as i may give jess, i still want mystreet to conflude in a good and loving way, aphmau may not be the best writer but her series are exciting and engaging, and it would be sweet genuinely to have this new generation of aphmau fans get to see what aphmau and her team can do when they actually TRY and make entertaining work.
(plus I can't bare to have to witness every character from mystreet or mcd get further flanderized like they do in the cocomau verse, like...the only person who got a better personality was kim but shit everyone else is just assholes or are a pain in the ass to watch...or...is fucking both....COUGH aaron lycan COUGH)
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birdmenmanga · 2 months
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@raventhekittycat
hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms
There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.
But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!
Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)
But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.
For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.
Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.
There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.
The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.
But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.
So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.
Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.
It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.
Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.
I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it
#just thinking thoughts...#stray bird thoughts#so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good#I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am#OH#I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT.#YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!!#A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized.#it was written for the people they would become.#and I stand by that 100%#if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet#and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor#like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things'#but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever'#which she clearly isn't.#I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day#and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring'#(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.)#and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15#like WHAT is she going on about? ? ?#like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm#but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know.#like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed.#the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know#but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage#recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it.#there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight.#it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most.#cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.
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theflyingfeeling · 2 days
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷‍♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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