#i thought i already had enough with the aching back and the wedding talk bUT HOW WELL FED I WAS AFTER THAT IS2G

[chenlbear]

jaemin x afab reader

warnings: smut, pet names (angel, sweetheart).

a/n: well, i attempted to write smut after not doing so for ages. im hoping this is good enough! (and yes, this was based off of bridgerton, i just binge watched it and jaemin was the first person who popped into my head).

The two of you were only wedded for 3 weeks and it was already going downhill. Yes, the honeymoon phase was brilliant, having fun together and ignoring each others responsibilities of being duke and duchess but it shortly ended in many many fights, avoiding each other at no cost. Everyone could sense what happened. It was normal.

You were about to exit your room but heard Jaemin's heavy footsteps on the ground, “y/n, are you asleep already?” He sighed, no response but he could see you through the tiny crack in the door. "You can't hide, I saw you already."

You open your door a pinch, gently stepping out from behind it without uttering a word to your husband. "Come on angel. I want to talk with you out here, you can spare me two minutes, yeah?" You nod your head at him and exit your room, moving to the staircase that sat between your two bedrooms.

"What is it?" You mumble as you look up at the male, "You haven't been in all day and you decide now is a good time to talk? Being out for god knows how long and with whom ever it might be."

Shock struck Jaemin’s face, "With whom? Is that what you think of me?" He scoffed.

“I thought we-" You cut him off by scoffing and tried to walk away but he grabbed your wrist before you could and you sat you down on the stairs. "I believe we aren't finished, is that really what you think of me, y/n?"

"I believe that is. You clearly don't think much of me or our marriage just because of these petty arguments. We have responsibilities to handle, don't you realise that?" He bent down to your level, slotting himself in between your legs, his hands slowly hiking up the nightgown you adorned. "How about I show you I truly do think so much of you and our marriage? Make you think about just me and not any silly worries clouding that pretty little head of yours.”

"Jaem.. you can't just do this when we get angry with one another, its not going to.." Your breath hitched as his face got closer to yours, his soft breath hitting your face. "Really? I do believe it has worked in the past, y/n." He smirked and pressed his lips against your temple, working his way down.

His hand lifts up under the bottom of your nightdress, his hands lingering on your inner thigh, looking at you asking if its okay if he can go further. You nod but thats not good enough for him, "Words sweetheart."

"Y-Yes Jaem, please.. need you to touch me." You breath out as you grab his hand and guide it to where you need him the most and he tuts, "Someones greedy, have you been so deprived of me? Poor baby having to wait so long for someone to touch her."

"Hurry up, will you? You don't want to get caught from the maids." Jaemin chuckled, "As you please." He pushed himself back, allowing his head to travel down to your thighs instead, nipping and licking the skin that lead to your aching core. You let out a soft moan, moving your hands to his hair to which he happily took with a low groan from the tight grip you had on his locks already.

He used his spare hand to move your panties down your thighs, the other pressing your hip down roughly to keep you in place. He began kitty licking you, soon becoming more rough with his tongue shoved inside you and his nose rubbing against your clit.

#nct dream x reader #nct dream smut #nct dream x reader smut #nct smut #jaemin x reader smut #jaemin smut #nct x reader smut #smut #jaemin x you smut #jaemin x you #nct x you #nct dream x you #nct dream x y/n

[theinheriteddutchess]

Pulling Against The Stream

Summary: you've always been drawn to the sea, even if you feared it. When a handsome stranger shows up he completely turns your life and awakens a side of you you didn't even know existed.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count: about 11.475

Warnings: 18+, I'm not sure if there really are warnings, nothing gets too explicit. There's talk about nearly drowning, merfolk will eat people (but not in this part). Is Bucky a warning? I think he's a warning🤷‍♀️

(Notes: this was fun to work on, I fell in love with these two, I'm sad it's finished. Also, sorry Owen, you never did get that apology.)

🧜🏻‍♂️

The wind was a welcome coolness as it rushed through your hair. You looked out to sea, watching the calm waves rush to shore, wetting the sand before retreating again. It was one of your favourite things to do. Whenever you were on the beach you felt calmer. Like all your problems seemed to disappear. Even if for a little while.

You never went in the water, however. 

You hadn’t since you were a little girl and you had nearly drowned. You loved water. You just couldn’t sink into it. Every time you thought about it, you saw your mother's face as she panicked and yelled at you. As a young girl you had realized something had been very wrong, and now many years later, you had avoided breaking through that fear, and simply given up.

You ached sometimes however, seeing families walking into the ocean and swimming, playing together, their laughter traveling through the air. If only that could be you. It was you, at some point, but the accident changed so much. 

You sighed. You took one look at the water, saying goodbye in your mind, before turning and grabbing your shoes. You walked to the parking lot, trying to brush as much sand off your feet as you could, before slipping on your ankle socks and your shoes. You didn't want to be late. Your friends would  give you a hard time about it. You had agreed to go to this party and they weren't going to let you forget it. They had taken you shopping last week for this event, even. A cute summer dress meant to flatter your body, without looking like you were trying too hard. 

You knew they'd been trying to set you up with someone, a friend of Genevieve’s boyfriend, some guy named Owen or Odin.. You didn't really know, because you were protesting before they both convinced you to give him a try. 

They meant well, but you were fine on your own. 

You had a tiny apartment nearby the sea and you had a simple job that provided enough for you to be comfortable. You loved being able to be near the ocean and simply opening your windows and hearing the crashing of the waves, the smell of salt in the air. It didn’t matter that no one understood. You were happy here.

But today was different. Today your friends wanted you to have fun. And you had promised to. And you were going to. One night going out with friends and a hot man. It couldn’t be that bad, right? Sam was a nice guy, his friend was sure to be nice as well. You hoped. And if not, you had no problem bailing.

You showered once you got home, taking extra time to let the pleasant scent of your shower gel soak into your skin, and made yourself ready. You thought you looked nice, when you saw yourself in the mirror. Owen or Olaf should appreciate the effort.

Your friend Beth picked you up, her recently wedded husband in the back swiping away on his tablet. 

“Hon’, put it away, it’s after working hours, okay?” she softly told him and he groaned but listened. 

“Hi.”

“Hey,” you greeted them, smiling. They had been together since highschool and had just simply never parted. A rare thing in your opinion, but it gave you higher hopes for the future.

“Okay, so Gen told me they were already at the bar, you know the place, right? Shade?”

You did know. It was near the beach, a restaurant, bar and club all at once. It really gave beach resort vibes, but it was a little less rowdy than an actual dance club, and the food was rumored to be excellent.

You had a strong suspicion it was picked out deliberately to make you more comfortable since it was beach themed. You chuckled a little at the idea.

“It has excellent seafood, I heard.”

“We know how much you love that!” Beth told you, smiling.

It was true, ever since you were little you loved anything fishy. Your mother would go mental getting you to eat anything, unless fish was on the menu. You didn’t know why but other meat felt heavier, and you enjoyed the taste better.

It was a nice place. You arrived and it seemed all tables were full, but it didn’t feel too crowded inside. The restaurant had a perfect look out to sea, and the dance floor was separated in a way that the noise didn’t bother the dinner guest. It had a nice atmosphere. Seeing it now you were sure you wanted to visit again. That is, if the food was as good as promised.

You saw your other friend waving from a table in a corner of the room. You saw the friend that was supposed to be your date. Nerves were beginning to show, but you faked being confident as you walked over.

“Hello, making yourselves comfortable I see?” you greeted, watching the guy, Oscar or Otis, getting up and holding out his hand. You shook it. Firm but not too hard. A good handshake.

He was holding your chair for you and okay, gentleman. But that didn’t mean anything. Manourisms might be nice, but you never knew what lurked underneath.

You mostly listened for the first few minutes to your friends joking and sharing some details about their day.

The waiter showed up soon to take your drink order, and handed you the menu for dinner.

“I heard you liked seafood?” Your date leaned closer.

You nodded. “Yes. A lot. I’ve been told it’s a little unnatural, but I can't help it, I prefer a nice Plaice over a steak.”

“Nothing wrong with knowing what you want.” He smiled kindly.

“Exactly. How about you? Do you have any preferences?”

“Only about my car, and that’s pretty much about bringing me where I want. I know, not very manly of me, but I don’t see the point in getting excited over a piece of metal. It needs to function and if it does I'm good.”

“So what do you get excited about?”

“Honestly?” he leaned over like he was about to tell you a great secret. “I collect old movie posters.”

“Okay, so you love old movies?”

“A lot. My nan used to set me down at the tv to watch with her, I guess it’s where I got my love for black and white movies from. It’s probably to keep the thought of her alive, but that makes me sound mushy.”

“Not at all, it’s sweet actually.”

And it was. He was. He was sweet. You might even like to see him again if this was over. You were becoming more comfortable as the minutes ticked by.

The food was as excellent as expected. The conversation was flowing. And it was great being around your friends again, all together. 

Ollie was a good looking man, with kind brown eyes and an equally kind smile. You weren’t sure if there was chemistry between you, or what he even thought about you, but you were sure that if you ran into him tomorrow things wouldn’t be awkward. 

The evening progressed smoothly. Eventually your group migrated to the other part of the building, where catchy music and dimmed lights created a bit of a different atmosphere.You got another drink and kind of swayed your hips to the beat of the bass. Your friends were already dragging their partners to the dance area, and you stood next to Otto and kind of felt a little unsure. You wanted to dance, but he didn’t show any signs of asking you. And leaving to go dance alone seemed rude.

“I’m sorry, I am really bad at dancing.” He seemed to notice.

“It’s okay.” You raised your voice to be heard over the music. You were a little disappointed. “Not that I mind bad dancing.”

“No, I know it’s really awful, and I've stopped exposing myself to ridicule as a teenager,” He tried to smile, but maybe he saw in your eyes you were let down.

“I love dancing,” You admitted. “I don't get to do it often.”

“Well, then go. We can talk later.”

You hesitated. “I don’t feel comfortable just ditching you.”

“It’s not ditching when I say you should. Go and enjoy yourself.”

You thought about it for less than a second. “Okay, thanks.” You left your half finished drink and turned to a somewhat empty spot and let the music take over.

It had been a while. You normally didn’t have much time for these sorts of things. And, honestly, you often didn't make the time. You didn’t really like clubs, where it was so warm and sweaty and everyone pressed up against you. But you did like dancing. Moving your body, letting yourself feel like the most powerful sexy being on this earth once you moved to the beat.

You lost time. You twirled and swayed and closed your eyes. You forgot about anything else. But you were thirsty eventually, and glancing around saw your group of friends together talking somewhere ahead. So you walked to the bar to order a drink. While waiting, a body appeared next to you. you glanced up and were temporarily knocked aside by the beauty of him.

Long soft looking brown hair. Blue eyes seemingly glowing down at you as he stared back at you smiling. Oh his smile. Beautiful white pearls. His mouth was full and pleasant.

He was taller than you and seemingly muscular..

He was stunning.

He kept smiling and you were frozen. Looking at him like you had never seen a man. His arm reached out and grabbed the drink the bartender made you and handed it to you, because you were not aware of anything but him. You took it and sipped from it. Thanking him softly , even if you paid for it yourself.

He didn’t seem to move. Seemed comfortable being right at your side. You glanced at your friends once, still animated by themselves and turned to the stranger.

“What's your name?” You asked.

He moved his hands in such a way that made it clear he couldn’t hear you.

You told him yours. And though his eyes twinkled he didn’t say anything. He pointed at himself and made a weird noise. You didn’t get it, until he looked saddened at you.

Was he deaf? Well, no, because he could clearly hear you. What was the word? Mute? You weren’t sure, but you were sure he was telling you he couldn’t speak. “Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but you can’t speak?”

He shook his head. He didn’t seem to have anything with him to communicate either.

He lifted a finger underneath the glass and pushed it upwards. You had to drink or it would spill.

You giggled, “Alright, alright, I’ll drink, stop.”

It should be eerie how much he didn’t take his eyes off of you, but for some reason it didn't feel that way. He curled a finger around a bowl of peanuts and pushed it towards you.

“Oh no, I don't eat those, and you shouldn’t either, who knows how filthy the hands were that touched them.”

He pushed them back again, immediately, looking at them like they failed him. You knew you should go back to your friends. You should. Yet your feet didn’t move. Your eyes were captivated by him. You couldn’t stop looking. And neither did he. It felt like everything around you went quiet, and people ceased to exist. All you saw was him. His shiny hair, his beautiful smile, his eyes who were bluer than the ocean. You noticed you two were standing awfully close once you thought how clean he smelled. He didn’t seem to wear a scent, he just smelled fresh.

You felt a weird pressure in your chest. Close wasn’t close enough. The two of you just stood there, nearly pressed against each other. Wordless. Staring.

You felt him taking your hand.

And you let him. He guided you away. You did not know where, you did not see anyone or anything. Just him. As he led you outside. It was dark, and you felt sand sneaking through your shoes, the silty air of the sea in your lungs.

You were at the beach, the moon shining down on the two of you, illuminating his features.

His hand reached out to stroke your face softly, his eyes following his fingers over your skin, like he  wanted to absorb everything he saw and felt about you.

You stood still and let him, it felt like a dream. Everything was blurry but his features were clear. His fingers were so soft as they explored you, his hand traveling over your neck, shoulders, down your arms, you shivered and then he pulled you near. 

You hadn’t expected the kiss. His lips were so soft as they stroked yours. You closed your eyes and let him take the lead.

He laid you down. his body covering yours quickly. He was a little cold but you didn't mind as your body was heating up. It felt like a relief to feel his skin against yours.

His lips gliding down your skin, it felt so lovely. Your hands started exploring him the same way.

His strong muscles - and where had his clothes gone suddenly?- but the question left as you explored his form. He was damn near perfect in your opinion, you hadn’t found one flaw so far.

You would have worried about your own flaws if the look in his eyes didn’t stop any negative thought from coming up. You had never seen anyone looking at you the way he did. Like nothing mattered. Like you were the most beautiful woman on this earth. It was neary too much, that look. But you soaked in it, you had never felt more powerful.

Your dress seemed to disappear just as fast as his clothes had gone, you wondered if you were losing track of reality, but it didn’t matter. As soon as you nude bodies connected it had never felt more right. You were both so quiet, like even the sounds you made were private, just for the two of you, no one else was part of it.

You couldn't get enough of stroking his stomach, feeling how he quivered everytime you did. He made a noise sometimes like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t.You looked down, and even his manhood was gorgeous. And you never found it particularly exciting before. He was grinning, like he knew what you were thinking. Maybe your expression spoke a thousand words.

“You’re perfect,” You told him. it was completely truthful. You couldn't feel the shame you were supposed to feel.

His hand was laid against the side of your face, as he looked into your eyes again, like he wanted to say the same to you.

You felt your cheeks warm, weird that this felt so much more intimate than your actual naked bodies currently pressed against each other.

He moved a little closer still, his hand reaching down, and next moment he entered you. You hadn’t expected that. It should’ve been too soon, but he slid right in. Oh. He felt… he felt really good. 

He moved, gentle long strokes. Not too rough, but precise. 

You moaned now. It felt like your body wasn’t your own anymore. As he played it fluently and all the while your eyes not leaving the other. 

You barely remembered when you finished, or him. All you knew was how he felt. And how he kept going, and again. Like he couldn't get enough. He managed to take a break at some point, to gather you up and carry you to your house, naked as the day you were born. It was a fortune you two weren't caught. 

At your apartment, he set you down, you didn’t even remember unlocking the door, but as soon as you stood inside he was on you again.

His mouth was pure aphrodisiac to you. You couldn’t get enough. And neither could he, as his mouth and tongue explored all of you. You felt high with how he made you feel. You didn’t think you ever experienced such pleasure, and so much of it.

And all you seemed to notice was his blue eyes that were a beacon calling out to you and keeping you home.

🐚

The next morning you woke to a naked body next to you. Long brown hair spread out over the sheet as he was still asleep.

You took a moment to appreciate the sight.

Then you remembered you had ditched your friends. and your date.

You groaned and fell down on the pillow. you better had a good excuse ready when you faced them. And you didn’t have one. Well besides, “met a hottie and I couldn’t resist, apparently.” God, what had gotten into you? Besides him…

You glanced at him. Well, if you could take a picture Beth would at least understand. She was crazy about those romantic movies with chance meetings. But Genevieve…Well it was her boyfriend’s friend after all, and that made it more awkward.

Your lover woke up. Rolling over, exposing himself without shame. He reached out for you and you held your hand up. “No, I can't.” He actually looked disappointed. What had he expected, you had lost count how many times he was inside you last night. “And I'm afraid I have to face my friend’s wrath for leaving them behind. I can’t believe I did that, without even saying goodbye.”

His hand stroked your hair, while he hummed. Was he comforting you? You peaked through your hair at him. He looked so content though. Well, he hadn’t deserted his friends after all. He had seemed to have shown up alone.

You searched for your phone. It was on the dresser where you left it yesterday. And with about 84 messages staring back at you menacingly.

You decided to check Beth. She was worried. Genevieve’s wasn’t different, but apparently Beth had seen you leave, and they were confused. It wasn’t like you, and especially not without at least telling them something.

You decided a group call was best. Dive into the deep and face your actions.

“I know I fucked up,” is how you started the conversation, “I don’t know what came over me. He just showed up and it was like I stopped thinking, and I'm sorry I worried you. And I'm sorry for Ovid, he seemed nice. I just…. I have no idea.”

“He was very good looking,” Beth agreed.

“Owen is good looking!” Genevieve defended immediately. Owen! You wheeped inside, finally knowing his name…and relieved Gen didn't call you or on it.

“Yes, but this guy was like a model, come on Gen. “

Silence. She didn't want to admit it out loud.

“He’s still here,” you whispered.

“What!” Genevieve yelled. “Oh my god you skank, you let him stay the night?”

“I think we were too busy the whole night to even notice it was morning,” your cheeks reddened while admitting it. “You have no idea, it’s like he couldn’t get enough of me, and I…well I have never experienced this.”

“That good huh?”

“Oh my god you have no idea. He was…he was a lot, but not enough you know? I felt like I was high or something, he is so gorgeous, guys, and his body…if only you could see.”

“I can pretend to drop something off right now,” Genevieve said, deadly serious.

“What, no. No, we want privacy. I think. I’m not sure, he doesn’t seem to mind if anyone sees him naked, and I think…we left our clothes at the beach.”

Shrieking was heard from both sides. You continued to take their teasing for a while. You got it, it was probably hilarious to hear.

“You’re not mad at me?” you asked quietly once they calmed down.

“Maybe, but also, kind of impressed. Sam is probably more angry, because it’s his friend, but Owen took it in stride.”

“Oh god, I don't even know what to say to them.” you sighed. You were feeling shame, you did, but you also really didn’t regret it. Which was weird because you were never this irresponsible.

“Don’t worry, I'll smooth things over.”

“In the bedroom you mean?” Beth chuckled.

“Well it has worked so far. Besides, once I tell him this was the first time you ever got carried away and you're normally not like this at all, it must be a really special person to make you act this way, he'll understand.”

“I don’t even know his name.”

“Oh god this is priceless. You’re finally getting in touch with your inner whore.”

“Am not, but he’s just so..”

“Yeah yeah dreamy, we get it.”

An arm wrapped around you from behind and soft lips explored your neck. A familiar firmness pressing against your back.

“Hey, I’m talking to my friends,” you protested half heartedly, because you were already enjoying the ministrations.

He ignored your words, even though you were sure he understood you just fine. His tongue licked you softly, and your knees buckled.

“Okay, okay, I'm going to hang up, I will talk to you later.”

“Oh my god girl, what's gotten into you, is he-”

You hung up and dropped the phone. He turned you around and picked you up . Fuck, the way he made it seem effortless really did things to you. Forget about being sore, it was worth it.

✨

You were exhausted. Even after taking another nap. Your body pleasantly buzzing with all the attention it received. You had to get up eventually to get food. 

Making some eggs and grilled cheese, you offered your lover something to drink. He sniffed everything carefully and then turned his nose up. 

“Water then? Can’t go wrong with water.”  You offered him a glass. 

He did accept it, finishing it in one gulp and handing it out to you.

“Another?” you asked after seeing him drink like this, and he nodded.

He drank about 3 glasses before he seemed to be satisfied.

But he didn’t eat anything,

“Surely you must be hungry?”

He nodded.

“You don’t like eggs? Or cheese?”

He grabbed an egg and broke it to slurp the gooey stuff before you could stop him. A raw egg, you shuddered. But some people did that, right? Like those bodybuilders, for the protein. And he did seem to work out. Your eyes got temporarily lost glancing over all his muscles, before snapping out of it, when you met his eyes and they seemed to darken again. You quickly turned. As much as it was the best night of your life, you were really really tired. Not used to this kind of exercise at all. Your body started tingling however, so it was hard to not think of all the details he had given you to fantasize about for the rest of your life.

“So, I was thinking, we should find something for you to wear. We left our clothes at the beach, and I doubt I have much that fits you.”

He shrugged. It didn’t seem to matter to him at all.

“You can’t walk around naked, you’ll get arrested!”

His eyes glanced at yours, noticing the shock and then he pointed outside. “We should collect it?” You guessed and he nodded. “Well, I’ll go, you can’t go out this way.” So you showered and got dressed, but before you left he kept preventing it by kissing you, and again…And once more at the door. Before you pushed him back inside. 

“Someone might see you,” you hissed , looking around if none of your neighbors were in the hall. “I’ll be back soon. Find something you can eat, yeah? I don’t need you fainting from starvation.”

He leaned into you again to kiss you, and you evaded him. “Later!” you giggled, watching the pleased smirk on his face. You fixed your hair, and your shirt, the cheeky bastard had sneaked in a handful, and went on your way.

You couldn’t believe you slept with someone on the beach, in full sight of potential witnesses. Finding your clothes didn’t take long, but your dress was covered in sand and seaweed, and his clothes were wet and needed a good wash. You didn't find his shoes, and then wondered if he had even worn any. You couldn’t remember, you didn’t exactly pay attention to his feet.

You took your hoard home and after a long make out session, where your lover acted like he hadn’t seen you for years, you made your way to the washer. 

“Once they’re dry you are free to go.” Then realized that it sounded like you were kicking him out, and hurried to add. “If you want to, I mean, whatever you want.”

Whatever he wanted seemed to be you. His hands wouldn’t leave you alone. And you didn’t know where to go from here. Did one night stands normally stay until the afternoon the next day? Or seemed to keep wanting to have sex? You didn't even know his name.

“I don’t know what to call you,”  you told him sadly. “Maybe you can write it down?”

You searched for pen and paper but he just stared at it curiously.

You wrote down your name.”You know, my name…now yours?”

He grabbed the pen and it broke, he must have held it too tight. “Oh shit, okay, no problem. Do you have anywhere to go? Like a job or home?”

At the word home he lit up. He nodded enthusiastically and wanted to go outside

“Wait, your clothes!” You held his hand, “We have to wait until they're dry. Maybe  we should watch some tv until they are.” You led him to the couch and turned on the tv. He flinched but soon relaxed and watched the screen fascinated. He grabbed the remote and started zapping quickly, often looking at you with a bright smile like he had found some new toy to admire. You giggled.

“You act like you've never seen a tv before.”

He cocked his head and just stared at you. 

“Okay, pick anything you want, I don’t mind.”

He did eventually settle on something. A documentary about ocean life and his bright eyes didn’t leave the screen for a while. Occasionally he seemed to scoff at something the narrator said but he stayed quiet. You wondered what it was like, not being able to talk verbally. It must be frustrating. Maybe even lonely.

He didn’t seem to have anything on him either. No phone or any information to figure out who he was. But he was a grown man and you couldn’t just pry. Besides, it's hard to pry when communication was off.

Once the laundry was done you handed him his clean clothes, and he looked kind of repulsed wearing them again. 

“You really like being naked huh?”

He shrugged, then reached out to you with a teasing smile as he lifted your shirt a bit. “Oh no, I quite like being covered, thank you very much.” You giggled as he threw you a pout. “Come on, let's go, you wanted to show me home?”

He lit up again, and quickly grabbed your hand to drag you outside.

“Is it very far? Do we need the car?”

He shook his head and pointed again.

“Okay, lead the way, I'll follow.”

He walked fast, like he couldn’t wait, he made some weird noises in the back of his throat that you interpreted as excitement, and his enthusiasm felt addictive.

He dragged you towards the beach again, then to the water. He seemed to want to keep walking, but you froze.

“No! No I don’t go in-”

He turned to look at you, questioningly. Pointing to the water.

“No, I- I had an accident, many years ago. I don’t swim. I can’t.”  You took a few steps back, your heart beating fast. Your mom’s voice and face clearly visible still after all this time, as she found you and yelled, crying, and in complete panic. You had nearly died that day your parents told you. And ever since, you never went in the water again.

He held his hands out for you to take but you shook your head, feeling faint and stepping back to sit down. “No. please, don’t”

He sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around you and just holding you. Sheltering you from the fear that raised inside of you as you remembered.

🌊

It had been a beautiful day. The sun shined brightly and the water seemed calm underneath the boat you were on. You loved the water, and your parents enjoyed being away from work for a while. 

As a single child you were used to entertaining yourself and that's what you did most of the day. Walking back and forth on the boat, making up games in your head, watching the sea as the boat cut through the water smoothly. 

Your parents were laying on deck somewhere, but you were much too busy to pay attention to them. You had just spotted something that kept your eyes firmly on the water. It never appeared at the same spot though, constantly moving. You didn’t know what it was. At that age your knowledge of any sea creatures was minimal, but it didn’t matter, anything was fascinating at that time. 

Your sandwich dropped out of your hands and floated in the water for a second, before it disappeared. A fish? You walked back to your parents, pretending to be hungry still and getting another sandwich. Happily you walked back to the railing again, ripping a piece off and threw it. And it happened again. You were used to feeding ducks, but you never fed anything else, so this was fun!

Another piece and another until it was gone.

In your enthusiasm, and to continue the game, you hand reached out to your doll and you threw that as well.Then watched it float in the water. 

Then you realized that your doll was lost in the ocean forever. Would it be eaten as well? Or sink down, like toys often did when you took a bath. You started crying, and wanted to run back to your parents, or the nice man that moved the boat, to make them stop it, to make them return it, but then you saw a hand grab it and throw it towards you. The doll landed with a wet squish on deck. Happily you ran towards it and hugged it, soaking your own clothes, but you didn’t mind. You had little Boop back. The world was perfect once again. You looked up and thought you saw a blur of color coming up and going down again fast. A friend. You were sure of it. Friends did things like this. Sharing lunch and sharing toys.

You ran inside to find stuff you could play with, but not mind missing. Like a plate, and your mom’s purse and one of your dad’s shoes…you grabbed it into your tiny arms and walked back outside. One by one you threw it in the water. And watch it sink, until suddenly it was thrown back up again. You clapped your hands, and threw it back in again.

This little game continued for quite a while, and sometimes you saw more of your friend. Dark hair,  eyes looking at you from the water. Why was this boy in the water for so long? Mother had told you to be careful because the water was dangerous here and you couldn’t swim yet.

Why did he stay in the water, he seemed to enjoy it there. You wanted to climb over the railing and go to him, but your mother’s warning sounded in your ears, and you didn't want to get punished. You waved the next time he came up again and he waved back.

You didn’t remember very well what happened in between this fun time, and what happened next, but the sky changed and the boy seemed to fall behind the boat more and more, as the water seemed to be less smooth now than it was before.

There was some yelling from the men on the boat and your mother’s worried voice calling out to you. Eager to listen, you let go of the railing and turned to go towards her, maybe even tell her there was a boy in  the water, when a big wave suddenly made you lose your balance.

You slipped easily and went down into the water. The coldness being the most you remembered of that scary moment.

The water seemed to suck you in and closed all around you as it became dark instantly. Your tiny body thrashing against the current and lack of air. You didn’t know what to do, this was something that your mind had not prepared you for.

Cold arms grabbed you, however and dragged you down, or up. It was hard to tell. But you did feel water sliding past your body and he pushed you up , and then air.

The sea kept pushing against your body and kept taking you down, but you were held up and you could breath, you coughed and held onto the arms for dear life.

When he started swimming away, the boat was not even visible anymore, you realized it was the boy. The dark hair and eyes were the only recognizable thing you had seen.

He swam against the current, somehow strong enough to do so, and it took a really long time before anything changed but the vast ocean in front of you.

It was scary but it was also the most exciting thing you had experienced. Because he was a friend! He had helped you! You saw a glimmer under the water, or felt something smooth and slippery against your legs, but it did not occur to you what it was until later. As land came in sight and he pushed you forward until you could stand. But you didn’t stand, your legs were too shaky to. You sat in the middle of the shore as water leapt against you, but you couldn’t be dragged away anymore. He floated in front of you, making sure you stayed where you were.

“Where am I?'' You sobbed a little, the adrenaline coursing through you and feeling scared without your parents.

His face dipped in and out of the water. “Land” he told you.

“I wanna go home,” You whined.

“They'll find you here…I think. It’s land.” He looked around. “They know you fell, they will look.”

You hoped so, this was worse than that time your dad was late picking you up from school, and you had to wait with the teacher as she sighed at the inconvenience. You never felt like she liked you after that. And mother would be angry because you fell in the water, like she told you.

You cried some more, but felt a cold hand around your ankle.

“They’ll come.” the boy said firmly. You didn’t know why you heard him so clearly, while you couldn't talk under water at all.

Then you saw his body. Your eyes glanced from his torse to his legs. But there were none.

You gasped. “Fish?”

He frowned until he saw where your eyes were focusing on, and then he laughed. “No, it’s a tail. So I can swim.”

“Can I get one?” If you had a tail your mother wouldn’t be angry anymore because you could swim just as well as the boy.

“I’m not sure. You’re not like us.”

‘Oh,” you said, disappointed.

“I know some of you can, I saw it myself!” He then said proudly. “And it would make sense. I did save you.” He glanced at you fiercely suddenly. “That means you're mine.”

“Like a friend?” you said excitedly.

He frowned. “What’s that?”

“Someone you play with. Someone you like.” you explained, glad to know something he didn’t.

“Oh. Yes, like that. I like you,” he cocked his head. “I can keep you.”

“Okay,” you smiled. You weren’t scared anymore. The weather, as suddenly as it had changed, had turned calmer again, and you weren't alone. You had your friend.

“I’m going to have to bite you though. If I'm going to keep you.”

Bite you? That didn’t seem fun. You weren’t sure, but you didn’t want to be called a scaredy cat again, like Lisa sometimes told you when you jumped out of the way if she threw a ball at you, and he had saved you, so it might only be fair.

You shrugged, pretended to not be worried and said. “Okay.”

He came up and grinned. It suddenly seemed less friendly like this, but you already said you’d do it, and a promise is a promise, wasn’t it? He slithered up closer, and you were mesmerized by his tail. It was really beautiful colors, blue and white and shiny…you wanted to touch it, but your mother raised you right, you didn’t just touch people. Unless they said it was okay, like you did, to this boy.

 He moved really close and you noticed how cold his skin was. You felt his face moving closer to you and wondered where this bite was going to be. He made a weird noise, but he seemed to not say anything if his face was out of the water. Maybe he was shy up close?

You felt his mouth on your neck, and then, quickly, he bit down sharply. You screamed because it did hurt, and moved back, but he moved with you until he let go. Blood was covering his mouth and your hand flew up to your neck to feel. 

"That hurts!"

“Of course it does, how else are we supposed to feed?”

You frowned. “You're not supposed to eat me.”

“No, not you,” he seemed to agree, “I Wouldn't bite you there if I was going to eat you.”

Where was he going to bite if he was? you wondered but in your young mind it seemed like an explanation enough.

“Now I can find you. And you'll come look for me , right?

You nodded. Maybe you could go on another boat trip, or sometimes your parents took you out to the beach. You loved the beach! It would be even better with a friend to play with.

You continued talking, and playing. He loved splashing you with his tail, until you shrieked in protest but couldn’t stop laughing. Until you became so exhausted that you started yawning and your eyes were drooping.

“They’ll be here soon,” he frowned, like the thought bothered him. “You should go on land, and I need to…leave.”

“Can’t you stay?” You pouted.

“They can’t see me, they’re not friends.”

You nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

He hummed and seemed to drift back.

You hoped he would still be nearby so you could wave at him once your parents were here. But you crawled further onto the sand and laid down there, and sleep took over you. It was the worried yells that woke you again.

Your parents rushing over to you and grabbing you and shaking you and so much yelling. Your mother's panicked voice as she said she thought you were dead. That you had drowned. Your father tried to calm your mother down. The two of them taking turns holding you, too rough, too long. You, cryinging and panicking again, remembering the cold dark water. How it kept dragging you back. How there had been no air and your body felt like it was going to explode from pressure.

How afterwards there had been no boat trips or beach days. And how when the time came to learn how to swim your mother's face triggered your fears so much that you hadn't dared to go into the water, and had full out panic attacks until they gave up.

How many trips to the therapists hadn’t been enough to keep from telling that a boy saved you, that not only fishes had tails, until you learned to keep your mouth shut and realized it was a dream. Maybe something your mind conjured up to feel safe again. A savior. A protector.

You still sometimes told someone, like your friends, but no one believed it and you were forever stuck in believing that they believed it wasn’t real, and therefore so should you, and still feeling it had been so real to you.

But what about the bite? Well, there had been one, and your parents took you to the doctors, afraid a shark or something had nibbled on you, but there had been no infection. In fact it had stopped bleeding very quickly, and healed very well. It was a faint shimmer on your skin now. You knew where it was and knew the slight ridges you had to look out for, but it was barely noticeable. Still whenever you rubbed it, it gave you a sense of safety. Something that seemed to look over you.

💭

You sat on the sand, looking out to sea. Next to you sat your lover, maybe you should give him a nickname because it sounded scandalous calling him that. Like a Victorian lady wrapped up in a torrid affair, waiting to be exposed so your older husband could challenge him to a duel to the death. Although, looking at him , you were sure he would win any fight. His body really was something. Healthy, with muscles in all the right places, no tan lines anywhere. Well, he did seem to have a fondness for nudity after all. 

You lowered your eyes, you had no idea what had gotten into you. One look at him and you were a goner. Your mind simply stopped thinking for itself and only seemed to focus on his beauty. You never expected to be this shallow. But it wasn’t just looks, he was kind. Even without words he made you feel understood and safe. He had comforted you and listened to your ramblings as you shook under the fear that raced through you. Making noises that let you know he was there. His strong arms keeping you safe from the horrors in this world.

You had told him what happened. Told him about falling overboard and nearly drowning, how your parents found you later, and were surprised to see you unharmed, but were upset nevertheless. How everything resulted in your fear of being in the water. But that you loved the sea, and kept coming back almost everyday, no matter how short. You just never stepped inside it.

How you couldn't swim because of it. 

He listened, eyes full of understanding and interest. Not once did you seem to bore him. But you didn’t tell him about the boy, you didn’t want him to think you were crazy, or childish. No, you told him what your parents told you. How you must've swum upwards and the water pushed you to shore again. How you were lucky.

How you had to be more careful. And you could have died. It was something your therapist had said shouldn’t have been said to a young child, but it was said in worry, and your mother’s reaction made your fear worse. You knew all that. And yet, you never dared to dip even a leg in. You tried your feet a few times but it all seemed to overwhelm you shortly after and it felt easier to avoid.

can’t

You looked at Blue, deciding on that name because of his eyes and told him. “I find it weird that the sea can both terrify and soothe me. I stay away, I yearn to be here and yet, I can never let go and embrace it. There is a feeling something will happen, and I don’t know what.”

He wrapped his arm around you, letting you lean against him.

“I wish I could know your name,” you sighed. “I know nothing about you.”

And yet he knew your deepest fear. 

He took your hand and laid it on his heart and smiled. It felt like a love confession and you smiled. “You’re the romantic type, huh? All handsome stranger coming to save the innocent lady and sweeping her off of her feet and courting her.”

He grinned widely and nodded, then got up and held his hand out for you. You took it. Then he grabbed and lifted you up as he was holding you in his arms again. You honestly did not think you would ever tire of it. It was such a cliché, but it really made your heart beat faster.

“You’re good at courting too?” you teased, and watched him nod ever quicker.

“You seem perfect. Are you sure I'm not dreaming?”

He kissed you. Well, it wasn’t the worst dream if you were.

🏖️

Your one night stand turned into two, you and Blue spend the whole day together, walking down the beach, collecting seashells, he offered you the prettiest ones and you accepted gladly. You had enough shells, but it was sweet to be gifted them.

You arrived back home, rosy and a little sweaty, and very hungry. Pulling open your freezer and fridge to see what you could make, you noticed open packages and a lot more room than you had the day before.

“Blue?” you asked over your shoulder, knowing he by now knew it meant  him, and he appeared a second later in the kitchen.

“Did you…eat the fish?” You asked a little nervously, the question seemingly ridiculous, but there really wasn’t any other explanation.

He nodded happily. and you looked at all the packaging he finished. That was a lot of fish…you also didn’t see any used pans or smelled anything coming back. Now he could have cleaned up… But it had all been frozen, it would’ve taken a while to defrost before it could be prepared. There had not been enough time before you had returned looking for your clothes.

“Did you eat it raw? Because that’s very bad for you.”

He shrugged.

“You could get sick.’ You worried, you didn’t really know what could happen, but getting sick was one thing you heard.

He shook his head.

He hadn’t seemed off, maybe raw fish was okay when it had been frozen, and was still frozen at the time of consumption? You had no idea. 

“Are you one of those uncooked food eaters?” you tried.

He nodded. 

“Oh okay, well, I don't really know what I have at home for you to eat.”

He pointed at you, grinning.

You laughed. “Well I doubt I would be tasty.”

He grinned even wider, a little more menacingly and stepped forwards, shoulders bracing like he was going to jump you.

“Oh no. I’m chewy, really unpleasant to get stuck between the teeth,” you giggled as you stepped away. “Will give you horrible stomach pains afterwards, you won’t like it at all.”

Then you shrieked as he moved forward and tried to sprint away. Tried, because he had you the next moment. He kept amazing you with how fast he was.

He held you against the fridge and stared into your eyes and hummed.

He made you weak when he looked at you that way. His eyes told you there was nothing he would rather look at than you, and it made you gooey inside. You had never had a man making you feel this way.

“You are so beautiful,” you whispered. So kind, so strong, so gentle. He really did seem perfect.

He kissed you slowly, his full lips just loving yours, taking his time. By the time he lowered them to your neck you had already widened your legs and he lifted you up.

While being carried to the bedroom, you really did wonder if this was real.

💙

The next day you went shopping, there was no food and Blue didn’t seem to like anything you had in the apartment. He wanted to come with you, and you easily agreed, having become used to his presence. you closed his seatbelt for him because he didn’t seem to remember to, warning him ‘safety first’ before starting the car. The way he looked being in your car was strange, but you didn’t comment. You knew he was a little different, and maybe he lived somewhere very remote, or maybe he didn’t come from here. It wasn’t a good explanation, but you had no reason to complain when he was the best man you had met so far in your life. So he didn’t know how technology worked? He knew how to work your body and that was much more important. The thought made you blush. You had never seen yourself as a very sexual creature, but he sure brought it out in you.

Shopping was, interesting, so to say. Blue looked around in wonder, but also passed by most foods you would pick out, and visibly preferred the fish section. You decided to go with what you both would like, but made a note to make sure to cook it for him before he died of salmonella. It would’ve been a tragic ending to your love story. 

Packed with way too much fish you would ever finish on your own, you went back. Cooking was a little complicated, because Blue was intrigued by the process, but was more intrigued with touching your body during, and you were so distracted you nearly burnt the meal. And forgot to cook the vegetables properly.

Blue looked suspicious once a plate was put in front of him.

You laughed. “Okay sorry, but I don’t know how to eat fish other than cooked, and I don't want us to get sick. It’s good though, I promise. And I kept your veggies uncooked, like you wanted, right?”

You didn’t know how a raw diet worked, but fish was something you did not want to serve raw. You just hoped he wasn’t insulted by it.

He took a bite carefully, pulled a face, seemed to hesitate, then took another bite pondering. It was fascinating to see all the expressions so clear on his face. He showed everything he was thinking, and it felt like a better communication system than all the people that said one thing, schooling their face, but meant another. Blue had clearly never learned any tact, but at least he seemed honest.

Afterway carefully chewing, he seemed to decide that it was acceptable. You dug in yourself, it was very nice, your favorite dish. You were happy he hadn't found it disgusting. For some reason, the thought made you realize you would've been a little hurt if he had. Like he would have rejected a part of you, which was a ridiculous thought and you tried to shrug it off.

Desert was much more simple.

He had decided it was you. Again. You really enjoyed chocolate mousse, but the way he put his tongue on you had you decide that chocolate mousse was overrated. This was truly the best way to finish dinner.

🐟

You woke up. Warm, comfortable, an arm slung around your waist. Blue was still sleeping. Maybe you tired him out for once. The thought made you smile to yourself.

You carefully moved away from him to stretch, and made your way to the bathroom. Relieving your bladder and washing yourself, you wonder if this was going to be your life now. He seemed to have no intention to go, and you had no intention to make him leave.

It was strange, because you had just met. You knew nothing about him. But you still felt so comfortable around him.

You made sure to check in with your friends who were stunned with the fact your one night stand turned into some prolonged romance, but were happy. You didn’t really believe in love at first sight, but how else could you explain the jittery feelings that coursed through you as you thought of him? You didn’t want him to leave!

Things had to be settled today, you decided. One way or another you had to get some information out of him, or see what he wanted to do with the situation. What did he want? Would he like to keep seeing you? Go on an actual date? Was this already considered dating? You were a little worried he would suddenly disappear. And it frightened you how much you knew you would care about that.

“Alright , we need to talk.” You told him at breakfast, as he sucked on his raw eggs, something that still seemed disgusting to you, but you wisely didn’t comment. 

“Well, I'll talk and you'll listen,” you realized. “This has been a lot of fun. Great, really, but I should know more about you, right? Who you are, or where you come from?”

You scratched your neck. it had been itching a little since yesterday, and while it was noticeable at first it started to get worse today. Maybe you had a little sunburn from yesterday, you did spend a long time on the beach.

Blue’s eyes zeroed in on your neck, it was like he could see what was there. But no one really did unless they were very close. He seemed to get a little dazed before your voice broke him out of it.

“Unless this is coming to an end.” You hated how your voice became a whisper. You didn’t sound confident at all, and maybe a little pathetic. Damn those stupid feelings.

He looked up at you confused. Like he didn’t know what you meant.

“I would like to keep seeing you, but I don’t know if that is what you want?” You told him, gathered up the strength to get some surety. It was either finding him missing at some point, or asking clarity for your own piece of mind. Maybe he had been waiting to see what you wanted anyway.

He got up, and long streaks of his legs marched him over to you, he grabbed your face with one hand. Gently holding it, he grabbed your hand with his other and put it on his heart.

“I think that’s a 'yes', I want to keep seeing you’?” you whispered, feeling yourself melt. Knowing he knew because he had to hold you up.

He frowned and nodded. Then he put his hand on your heart. Or maybe your boob, you weren’t sure. But it felt terribly romantic.

“Okay, that’s a step. Maybe we can go to your place, you must be tired of wearing the same thing.” You glanced down at his body “Well, when you do wear clothes.”

He pointed outside. 

“You want to go now?”

He nodded but bit his mouth, like he was pensive about something. 

“I don't have to go in, if that’s not what you want.”

He pointed at you. 

“Me? You’re afraid I don't want to go inside?” As you saw him nod, you wondered how bad the neighborhood he lived in was. “I don’t care, If it’s that terrible you wouldn’t bring me there right?”

He nodded seriously.

To lighten the mood you joked. “And I'm sure you can protect me against any danger.”

He seemed to make himself bigger somehow, without making himself seem ridiculous. God, he was perfect. You wondered if one last time before you went would be a good idea. The sheets were beginning to be in need of a good wash, but once more wouldn’t matter by now, would it? And - 

Your thoughts were cut off with a kiss and a devilish grin, like he had known where your mind had gone.

“Sorry, am I really obvious?” You said through heated cheeks.

He nodded, shrugged, and seemed to spread his arms out like he said ‘Who could blame you’. 

You put your hands over your face. “You’re awful, no shame at all.”

There was a noise that, when you glanced back at him, might've been a laugh. so it made you laugh and then you were kissing again. 

But he broke it off before it got too heated. Pity. He pointed outside again.

“Alright, let me make myself ready okay, And wear clothes! Not everyone will appreciate seeing your tooshie exposed.”

You did though. You enjoyed it very much, it was round and not too big or small. You stared at it as many times as you dared, and he didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact his own eyes never left your body either. He was just enraptured with you as you were with him.

Realizing you had been staring at the carpet for several minutes now without making progress at getting ready, you hurried. He waited at the door for you with the same cut off shorts and shirt he had been wearing all this time, no shoes. Oh god you had taken him shopping and no one had even mentioned he wasn’t wearing shoes. You had broken the one rule that stores would give. 

You figured maybe no one noticed, because they were too busy staring at his handsome face. The only explanation you could think of. 

You offered the car, but he pointed in another direction, and so you figured he must’ve lived nearby.

But as you neared the beach again, you became confused. Maybe he was a tourist? They sometimes booked one of those beach houses. But he led you on the beach itself, towards the water.

“What? Blue…you were supposed to take me to your home.”

He pointed to the water.

“What do you mean? You live overseas?”

He pointed at the water again, frowning. He made a movement with his hands and you didn’t get it, so he did it a few times, looking frustrated.

“Swimming?”

He stopped in relief, pointed at the water, to himself, to the water, ‘swimming’.

“You swam?” you said, stunned.

He nodded. Pointed towards you, and then him.

You didn't get it, again. “I don’t understand, sorry.”

He grabbed your hands, held them, and stared into your eyes lovingly.

“I get it, it’s hard to explain this way, really hard with no way of communicating.” you said sadly.

He looked at the water again, then pulled you.

And you froze and dug your heels in, staring at him in shock.

He looked at the water again, towards you, your entwined hands, and again towards the water, he made a noise. He sounded… urgent.Your neck began to itch worse again.

“Are you staying at one of the houses?” you said, a little desperately, even if you began to understand that probably wasn't the case.

He shook his head. He now looked at you a little sadly. Humming, his thumbs stroked your wrists where he was holding you. Like he was comforting you. The way he was staring at you, it was like he was expecting something. Waiting for something.

Your neck started to burn awfully. You tried to loosen your hands to rub the spot, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Blue, what - let go, my neck it’s -”

He let go of one of your hands, but was quick to lay it on your neck, right on the spot, it felt, it felt strange, it was burning up, but somehow his touch felt better.

Your body felt weird. And you noticed he was trying to pull you near the water.

“No, I can't,” you told him, feeling no control over your body as he dragged you further in. Your eyes drawn to the water, fear rushing through you, your mom’s face, the cold dark water surrounding you, your heart beating, no air, there was no air.

And then he appeared in your vision, his blue eyes, so like the boy in your memories, catching yours, calm, his hands holding you, a soft embrace. You felt your feet walking with him towards the water, wanting to protest, but your mouth was silent, and your eyes couldn’t look away from him.

Dark hair, blue eyes.

His body holding yours as he dragged you through the water, cold skin, slippery tail, A wide grin, so playful, words and promises made.

Blue eyes looking back at you tenderly, lovingly, holding you against him. You could see only him. Even as the water soaked through your sandals. Even as water splashed at your calves.

’You're not like us’...’I can keep you’... ‘find you’

Your body followed him in, he was smiling brightly, his eyes sparkling, but he didn’t let you go. He was guiding you, so gently. It was like your fear was there but numbed, in the background. Like the most important thing was to be close and not let go. You didn’t.

Water was around your waist, the waves moving your body back and forth, swaying in the current of the water, but he did not let you go, he did not pull away. He kissed you.

His soft lips felt like an explosion on yours. It felt like you were fading until all that was left was him. The way he felt. And the way he made you feel.

You made a noise. You felt weird.

Water splashing on you as he whipped his tail at you, laughter sounding through the air as you splashed back. His face disappearing underwater to speak to you.

Water reached his chest and you were already not feeling the bottom under your feet anymore. You let him pull you. He seemed happy. He kissed you and his tail sweeped against your legs and - …Tail? you looked down and saw the colorful glimmer of his tail, not legs, underwater. Before it would settle in, you felt a burst inside, a sharp painful burst, and you fell down. The power of it made him let go and you went under. 

But his arms were around you immediately. You worried you would see darkness, but you could still see the light above you, the sun shining through the water. You could see him very clearly, his face so close to you as he helped you get steady against the movement of water. You expected to choke, but it felt like your lungs were just fine.

“What-” you said, and realized sound came out of your throat, water came in your mouth but disappeared and yet it did not feel like you ran out of air.

He smiled so happily, his eyes shining to you in delight.

“It’s okay. I got you.”

You looked around, water was surrounding you everywhere, there was seaweed twirling around you, the occasional crab you could see floating around. It looked like you could see a lot further than you expected down underwater.

You glanced down his body, noticing the tail, and momentarily were distracted by the beauty of it, before another movement distracted you. As you saw your own tail.

A shock went through you and you wanted to flinch away, but he wouldn’t let you. Your hands touched yourself. Slimy softness greeted you where your legs were supposed to be.

This wasn't real, was it?

"Bucky."

You looked up, confused.

“Bucky. My name. I couldn’t give it to you until now.” he grinned. 

“Bucky?” you tested it out.

He seemed pleased with hearing it, and nodded. “Yes, I can't speak up there. I couldn’t tell you anything, only if you were in the water.”

You felt like you should panic, and there was confusion, and there was fear, but it all felt so….farther away. “What happened? I don't get it.”

“You had to turn.” He shrugged. “You didn’t want to go into the water the other day, but I knew you couldn’t stay here long. After we mated, I knew it would only take a few days before you turned. And I couldn't let you turn on land.”

That’s why he dragged you while you were so afraid, why he didn’t listen.

“But how can that happen, I'm not..this!”

“I marked you,”  he explained in a tone like you should’ve known. ” When I saved you. You let me, remember?”

Blue eyes, dark hair….Bucky.

“You didn’t really think it was a dream, did you? Why else do you think we were drawn to each other? You’re mine.”  For a moment his expression darkened. “Why didn’t you come to me? You said you would? I waited every day, and you didn’t come until a few years ago,and you never went into the water.”

Like you had disappointed him, failed him. Broke your promise. Which you did. It was a promise that shouldn’t have to be kept, you were children after all, but it became clear he had kept it. He had expected you to keep it. And it occured to you that rules, human rules, might not apply here.

“My parents were very afraid after what happened. They didn’t go anywhere near the sea for ages. Only after…when I moved out, I started coming here. Like I couldn't stay away.”

He seemed a little more pleased. “You were looking for me.”

“I-” ‘no’ you wanted to say. But weren't you always looking. Looking for something. Someone. Didn’t you feel you were missing something. “I couldn't get into the water.”

You tried to explain. You didn’t know why you felt the need to make him not angry or hurt by you. It hadn’t been your fault, but the way he acted was like you hurt him a great deal.

“So I came to you.” He moved closer and held your hand. 

“Can I go back?”

“No.” He seemed happy with the idea. “ We don't go on land unless we have to. To kill, or to mate. And it takes years of practice. You have to be strong enough, and learn how. It took me all this time. But I knew I had to. I knew you were here.”

“You should have asked.” you said. Thinking of your friends, your family. If you couldn't go back, how worried they would be. How they would suffer.

“Why? You promised yourself to me. I saved you, I didn’t need to ask, I could have let you drown, or killed you. I didn’t. I own your life. And you said we were friends.” he shrugged.

Warmth pinched your eyes, but as soon as the tear appeared it had vanished in the cold silty water. 

“Friends don’t hurt each other.”

“But I didn't." He sounded confused. “I would never hurt you. You belong with me. And now we don’t ever have to part. We live very long. You don’t have to worry about dying. And you don’t have to worry about the water anymore either. You are strong enough to go where you please. I could show you so many things. You don't need to deny yourself any longer. Let go, embrace me.”

He echoed the words you said to him, when you told him about your shared history. How you yearned to embrace your longing. How you wanted to be near the water. Had it simply been the sea that called out to you?

A fish curiously swam nearby, and you suddenly were reminded with the empty freezer, the frozen seafood he devoured…how you only seemed to like fish the most growing up. The bite he had given you. Your urge for the sea, even if you never dared to near it or touch it.

How Bucky had waited for you to show up and play with him, and how you had, unwillingly, broken that promise.

How he talked about owning your life because he had saved it, and how you could have a tail if only you did what he said.

Your tail was pretty, even if you thought his was better, but it wasn’t your legs and it felt strange seeing it swing back and forth, feeling like you could push upwards if you tried, wondering if you could keep up with him if you swam. Wondered how cold and dark the sea would get the further you would drift.

You looked backwards where you thought the beach would be, but, being underwater, all there was was water.

His finger turned your face towards him again. “I love you.”

You blinked, he put your hand on his heart, and the familiarity hit you like a warm glow, he had been telling you all along.

And he laid his hand on your heart, staring into your eyes intensely.

You felt the words leave your mouth without thinking about it.  “And I love you.” 

And you knew you did. Despite everything. You had been looking for him. You had been looking for love.

#Bucky Barnes x reader #Mermaid au #Merman!Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x female reader #Fanfiction #Sebastian Stan fanfiction #mermay #Pulling Against The Stream #Bucky Barnes

[gutsby]

Trigger Tease(r)

Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Before his morning briefing, your mob boss husband decides to take a pit stop in the sauna with you.

Warnings: 18+. Oral (f!receiving). Gentle fingerfucking. Praise and degradation. Daddy kink. Dirty talk. Bucky talking you through it. Bimbofication if you squint.

Notes: @sluttylittlewaistenthusiast - you inspired me 🪽 I just had to crank out a little teaser for the third installment of Wedded Bliss. I hope y’all like it 💓

Full version here

In between breakfast and the start of your husband’s early briefing, you found yourself situated in much the same way you’d been spending a lot of time these days: pinned up against the wall of a wood-paneled sauna, Bucky’s broad shoulders supporting both of your legs as he buried his face deep between your thighs. You sighed.

“Hold still,” Bucky grunted, voice muffled as he tried to keep your slick, squirming body in place above him.

You yelped and seized a fistful of his hair when he wedged his tongue even further inside you, nudging your clit with his nose almost too teasingly and deliberate.

“I can’t…help it,” you bit back, ignoring the brief glare you earned from your husband as soon as you said it, “Your tongue’s just so— s— James!”

This time, Bucky let out a full-throated groan when you yanked on those poor wet locks of his—‘Gonna make me bald by next Christmas if you keep doin’ that, honey’—and he pried his head from your legs just long enough to knock you flat on the sauna bench close by.

The western red cedar seared hot on your skin, already flushed from the exhaustion wrought by Bucky’s tongue; you hardly had the strength to hold yourself up when he pushed you onto your back and crawled over your body.

“How ‘bout my fingers, doll? Can you take a couple’a those for me?” Bucky crooned above you as he stroked your hair, bathed in pure sunlight pouring in from the windows. His voice was a touch more sympathetic now.

After all, this was your third orgasm of the morning. It really wasn’t fair for him to use that biological weapon of mass destruction he liked to call his tongue when he knew how sensitive your clit would get from just one ‘O’. Even his hands might be too much in your current state.

Bucky was busy peppering your skin with kisses, working his way from the base of your neck to the crown of your head, when you whimpered and tried to fight a smile.

“Finger,” you corrected him, “Just one finger, Barnes.”

You would’ve thought you’d just thrown your wedding ring in his face and told him to eat shit. Just one?

“How’s one finger s’posed to stretch you out for my cock, huh? Practically had you screamin’ when I stuck it in last night,” Bucky wasn’t one to hide his amusement, grinning even bigger when you swatted him on the arm.

“Who said anything about your cock?” You tried to keep cool as Bucky’s fingers trailed right back down to the place you felt yourself throbbing, aching for his touch, “You have a meeting in ten minutes.”

“Meeting doesn’t start until I say so, my love,” Bucky reminded you just as his index ghosted over your folds.

In truth, he was willing to play this game any way, and for however long, you wanted it done, so long as he was the one bringing you pleasure. Be that his cock, his finger, or all fucking five on one hand, Bucky just wanted to get you off. It was better sustenance to him than the whole damn meal the two of you had eaten that morning.

Bucky kept it down to one digit and lightly circled your bundle of nerves when he sensed you were ready.

You gripped his forearm and shot a quick look between your legs, still in disbelief as to how he could make you feel this good so soon after you’d cum twice before. You felt his lips drift over to yours and steal a few kisses.

“Always doin’ so good for me,” Bucky praised, moving his finger in circles. When you whined against his mouth, he pressed it even harder, “Such a good girl for daddy.”

“James,” you breathed, clenching your legs together.

“Everything OK?”

“Uh-huh.”

More than OK, in fact. That delectable coil of sweet, euphoric release was already swelling gently in your tummy. Bucky moved his finger even faster.

“Tell me how it feels,” he murmured low in your ear.

Bucky loved seeing you try to articulate your feelings—relatively fresh and new to your world, still—while he was giving you pleasure. Adored the way you winced and whined and arched your back into his touch as a whole blustering hailstorm of sensations crashed over you.

He sank his tongue in your mouth as he kissed you, as if trying to extract the words from between your lips. Your response, in consequence, came somewhat stifled.

“Mm— feels so, oh—” Your voice broke off in a moan when Bucky tightened his circles, “—so good, daddy.”

“Wanna show daddy how good and cum for me?”

Bucky knew by the way you were whimpering under his hand that the tendril in your stomach had almost tripled in size. It wouldn’t take much to tip you over the edge.

“My sweet girl,” he said, rubbing your cunt at the same time he was stroking the back of your head, gently, “Feels so nice down there, doesn’t it?”

You rolled your hips against the bench and nodded. Your breaths were short and ragged, panting helplessly into Bucky’s mouth when he adjusted his hand just a little: pressing the pad of his thumb to your clit, with his index moving down to your entrance. Pushing inside you.

“Another,” you choked, not thinking.

Bucky met your desperate gaze and nodded, knowing this was exactly what you needed to make it over the precipice.

Still, he wouldn’t be Bucky if he didn’t tease just a bit.

“I thought my wife wanted one finger,” he hummed, brow pinching inward.

“No, no.” You could’ve shrieked when he curled the digit, “Want more— Bucky, please, please, I need more.”

Again, your husband appeared to nod in understanding, but his fingers didn’t budge. He worked his thumb a little faster and watched you writhe on the seat beneath him.

“How many, honey? Don’t wanna hurt my baby.” His words were all kindness, it seemed, but his tone laced with shameless condescension—the kind that said, yes, I know you need this, and no, I won’t indulge you just yet. Bucky was the worst when he wanted to prove a point. You could’ve ripped at his clothes and torn them in two if you weren’t both stark naked and shrouded in steam.

You opted to pull at his hair instead.

Bucky winced, but the smirk never left.

“I said how many?” he pressed again.

“Three. Four.” Fuck if you knew.

Your husband raised both eyebrows and hummed, a single finger still plunging in and out of your cunt in quick succession. He teased the tip of another at your entrance and smiled even more when you whined.

“Needy little thing, isn’t she?”

“Bucky—”

“Just wants to fuck daddy’s hand to get herself off, hm?”

Bucky didn’t bother to mask his sweet, degrading tone any longer as he talked down and teased you to no end. It drove him half-insane to see you squirm around, rut your hips, let him say the filthiest fucking words he could conjure up, and just bob your head to whatever he said. His impeccant wife and her insatiable needs—Bucky couldn’t even begin to express how turned on the sheer dichotomy got him. He stared in your eyes, all glossy and soft, and felt his cock stand even more rigid on his belly.

He didn’t give a shit if he’d taunted you enough or not; he just shoved his middle and ring fingers alongside the first and clenched his jaw to start fucking you hard with all three.

Your whole face contorted with pleasure, tinged with the faintest shade of discomfort at the tail end of it. You’d forgotten how big his fingers felt all together.

“Bucky,” you whined, mindlessly clawing at the wrist that was moving back and forth, fast, between your legs, “B-Baby, slow— slow down a little.”

But Bucky was deep in the zone. He knew you wanted it too—sensed that you liked to play it safe when it came to your pleasure and grew a little timid at times it got to feel too much—and he needed to talk you through it.

Rather than turn his head and keep to himself as he got you up to your peak, Bucky pressed his face down to yours and nodded again—this time with a tender sincerity.

“Feel a little stretch down there, huh?”

You didn’t have to say anything, just whimpering in time. Bucky kissed your forehead and let you fold into him as his fingers wreaked havoc down below. He kissed you again, and again, and in between kisses, mumbled,

“That’s daddy’s sweet, needy little slut.”

“My perfect fucking wife, so good at taking my fingers.”

“Gonna be nice and stretched out for my cock, hm?”

Every syllable spoken aloud was like a brand new catalyst for your impending release. You barely nodded your head, opened your mouth and whined pathetically, but that’s exactly how Bucky wanted you. Exactly how you needed to be, bucking your hips in time with the cadence of his fingers fucking inside you, and soon, those whimpers were turning to moans as that soft little helix inside you reached its breaking point.

Bucky brushed once or twice more against your sensitive spot, and suddenly you were coming undone all over him—crying his name, clawing his skin, squeezing your legs so tight around his wrist you feared you might snap it in two, and then getting kissed again, over and over while Bucky drank in your every sound, and the few tears that sprung to your eyes as they always did, like sweet nectar.

You were still moaning, curling your tongue feebly against his own and leaning into him as far as you could, when your husband slipped three fingers up between your mouths and pushed them past your parted lips.

“Suck,” Bucky said, gritting his teeth as he watched you, “C’mere, honey, taste your cunt on my fingers.”

You took him in and sucked your arousal off his fingers just like he asked. Took him by surprise and dragged a mindless, lazy, half-crazed and careless tongue all over his hand, where your juices had no doubt collected too.

That slutty, fucked-out look you gave him—like your brain had all but fallen out of your head with the orgasm he’d given you—was everything Bucky could’ve wanted.

He climbed on top of you and took the base of his cock, rock-hard and weeping tears of precum from the tip, almost drunk from the feeling himself. His mouth hung open as he dragged himself over the seam of your cunt.

“I need to fuck you.”

Taglist (STILL HAVE TO UPDATE THIS I'M DUMB AS SHIT): @vicmc624, @she-could-never, @mcira, @kentokaze, @identity2212, @unaxv, @buchi91, @ordelixx, @stinkerbelle007, @opibarnes, @wilsons-striped-ties, @desigirlxx, @pono-pura-vida, @geminiflanagansblog, @fandomsfeminismandme, @buggy14, @sky-full-0f-fl0wers, @buckysdoll1520, @armystay89, @minimarvelingmarvel, @kunakizen, @ghostiebby06, @blackhawkfanatic, @dameron-grant-spector, @sushiseoks, @deansapplepie, @mrsjoequinn, @lunaroserites, @first-edition, @kaybaby2494, @jaggedsi, @excusememrbarnes, @daisychainsoflove, @mostlymarvelgirl, @diannana, @shawnberry, @yujyujj, @urmomsalex, @mrs-bucky-barnes-73, @athenabarnes, @christinabae, @wintrsoldrluvr, @bethbunnyy, @i-heart-smut @dixsond

#THE TITLE WILL MAKE SENSE LATER I PROMISE #it’s ‘tease’ not ‘teaser’ in the full fic that was just my attempt at humor #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #marvel #mcu #mob bucky barnes #marvel smut #marvel x reader #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #mob boss bucky #mob!bucky

[azrielslightintheshadows]

Princess

Azriel x f!Reader

One of the series I’m currently working on. Enjoy!

Summary; Reader is Mor’s new friend that she found in the winter court while she was away for business. Y/n has been raised as a princess since her parents wanted to wed her to a noble fae in order to climb the social ranks. When her parents are brutally murdered y/n is left alone without a clue about the harsh reality or the brutality of the world. Mor finds her and takes her back to Velaris afraid of what might happen to her if she was left to live on her own. Will y/n survive the hate she will receive from certain members of the inner circle -including her mate- regarding the way she grew up?

Warnings; angst, mentions of abuse, trauma and death, swearing

Masterlist.

Princess Masterlist.

Chapter 12

“Fuck you” you shouted and slammed the door shut, leaving a whimper at the pain on your hand.

Azriel disappeared for two weeks, you knew he was still in the house, but he avoided you like the plague. At first you didn’t mind his absence but now two weeks later your hands wouldn’t stop trembling no matter how often you massaged them, it wasn’t the same. Azriel’s touch was like a light breeze on your hands, yet it was hard enough to release the pressure of the muscles and even though you spent more than an hour every day trying to sooth your aching ends it wasn’t enough. You tried looking for him in the house and even sent Claude to find him but failed miserably. You knew that Claude found him even though it hissed in your ear that it wouldn’t lie to you and you decided to act like you believed it in fear of losing the only part of him you had left. That was a thought that you kept deep in your mind under several locks to hide it from Rhysand and even yourself. In the past two weeks you realized that Azriel’s silence and darkness felt soothing and gave you the will to regain the control of your life. With a sigh you decided to join the night family for dinner, you wrapped your hands with bandages to hide the tremor and walked to the dining room. Everyone was already sitting around the big table -Azriel too and their heads snapped to you. The shadowsinger immediately glanced at your wrapped hands and frowned.

After a few greetings you sat across him and fell into conversation with Nesta.

Cassian cleared his throat interrupting you “You missed training today” he said to you.

You quickly scanned around the table and almost blushed when everyone’s eyes fell on you.

“I was tired” you mumbled.

“Will you come tomorrow?” he pressed.

“I don’t think so, I need some time for myself” you lied and hid your hands under the table.

No one seemed to notice except for Azriel who kept staring at you with furrowed brows. He nudged your foot with his own and shook his head questioningly when you looked at him. Oh now he cares. You thought and rolled your eyes before looking away and ignoring him for the rest of the dinner.

“I want to talk to you about something” Rhysand spoke to you. You nodded and waited for him to continue. “I talked with Helion and we would like to try something on your hands”.

You blinked. “What?”

“Maybe he can speed up the process of healing and maybe make the scars less visible.” He stared at you, trying to read your face.

“Maybe?” you asked.

“He doesn’t think he will be able to do that now, if he was here when it happened he is certain that he would make them disappear or at least not visible from a certain distance.” He explained.

You snorted “well if you go to Hewn City and I stay here you won’t be able to see them now, so certain distance doesn’t actually make a difference.”

Rhysand smirked and shook his head. “Anyway he agreed to speed up the healing process so you can continue training without pain. Cassian told me that you started your full training again and that you cry out every time you punch.”

He was right and even though you hadn’t met Helion, everyone said that he is kind and fair. “I would like that” you replied and Azriel scoffed.

“Tell her” he snarled at Rhysand making you stare the high lord questioningly.

“During the session you will be in tremendous pain.” He said softly. “Helion’s power will pierce through your wounded skin in order to heal you from inside out.”

“But my hands healed weeks ago that’s why Madja took off the bandages.”

“The outer layer healed, the damage was deep that’s why it hurts every time you touch something, Madja took the bandages off because the risk of getting infected doesn’t exist anymore.” Rhys explained. “But from what I can see you wrapped them again.”

You hid your hands even deeper under the table and sighed. “It soothes me” you replied.

“So should I invite Helion here?” he asked.

You didn’t know why but your eyes fell on Azriel, and you tried to figure out if he agrees. The shadowsinger stared back at you and quirked a brow. “It’s your decision” his expression seemed to say even though he remained silent.

Nesta noticed the small interaction and cleared her throat. “What do you think about this Azriel?” she asked and her hand fell on your thigh leaving a soft squeeze.

“I.. why me? It’s her decision.” He stuttered.

“Because you’ve been through this” Nesta rolled her eyes.

“If I had the opportunity then I think I would take it.” He shrugged.

You thought about it, everyone must be thinking that you’re a fool for not replying immediately but you’ve been in tremendous pain before, and you weren’t sure if you would survive it again. If Helion managed to help you then you would be able to go on missions with the girls, Cassian had said that they would start in a few weeks. But if he failed the healing process might be delayed.

“What if he fails?” you asked Rhysand.

“He won’t, at least on the healing part” he replied.

You hummed. “I don’t really care about the scars I have already made peace with the thought of having them forever”.

Azriel stared at his plate with a frown at the last statement.

“Okay I’ll do it” you announced.

“Perfect, please consider this an apology for the way you’ve been treated here.” Rhysand said and you nodded.

After dinner was over you returned to your room and Azriel slipped inside before you could close the door.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him but didn’t show your irritation not wanting to push him away.

“You bandaged your hands again” he noted.

With a sigh you unwrapped them and let him see the tremor and twitching.

“You’re not massaging them?” he frowned and quickly moved to your nightstand to take the ointment.

“I do but they won’t stop” you huffed.

He patted the bed “Come here”.

You quickly obliged and he knelt in front of you before grabbing your hands and started massaging them. His touch made you shudder and immediately your muscles relaxed. You suppressed a moan and closed your eyes, savoring the feeling of relief.

“Thank you” you whispered.

“I’m sorry for disappearing, I should’ve been here to help you.” he replied.

You took a deep breath. “I was awful to you, I just got so mad because you treated me differently and I reacted so poorly. I don’t blame you for what happened to me, at least not entirely.”

“I know… but I think you’re wrong. It’s entirely my fault and I will spend the rest of my life punishing myself for it” he shook his head “I don’t know why I always mess it up with you, I told you that I would help you heal and then I disappeared even though I knew that it was normal for you to react this way.”

“Maybe the Cauldron was wrong” you whispered, and he froze. “It usually is so easy between mates but look at us, we keep fighting and hurting each other with our words.”

He shook his head. “You should have seen Nesta and Cassian…” he paused “It doesn’t matter… we will reject the bond whenever you want.”

“I don’t want you to go mad” you stated.

“I won’t… I’m way stronger than most males.”

“Still this is something ancient…”

“Why do you care?” he asked and let go of your hands.

“Because I don’t want to harm you, even though you despise me, I don’t.” you shrugged.

“I don’t despise you” he furrowed his brows “listen… I know that I was a complete asshole to you, and I don’t want to defend myself for it, but I just wanted to keep you at a distance and to be honest the first days I completely hated the way you grew up. I kept thinking that you would never understand what I’ve been through, and I hated that I didn’t have the opportunity to be raised in a loving home like you. I guess I envied you.”

“You called me a princess…” you snorted “I grew up in a small cottage, we never bathed with hot water and some days we didn’t have food. My parents didn’t love me, they loved my potential… they called me their savior and brainwashed me so I could become an obedient little housewife to someone who would give them money and make their life easier. They wouldn’t care if my husband was abusive as long as they could enjoy his wealth.”

Azriel’s breath hitched, and you continued “It was really painful to realize all of this, but I did it when I came here and saw how the other females were. You see in my village most of the girls were brainwashed like me, so we never noticed that something was off. I’ve heard a few things about everyone’s past here and I know that it was way worse than mine but that doesn’t change the fact that I was abused too. I might not be able to understand your trauma, but I will respect it and I will stand next to all of you and support you if needed.”

Azriel’s eyes watered and he shook his head.  “I wish I could go back in time and change the way I treated you.”

You smiled softly at that “I think we should let the past go and focus on the present, we ruined the bond between us but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“Do you think we can leave all of this behind?” he asked sincerely.

“I think that it will take time and there will be times that we will fight but we will figure everything out eventually.”

He stood up and left the ointment on your nightstand.

“I’m willing to try it, maybe we can go to the city tomorrow I think I owe you a proper tour” he smiled.

“I would like that!” you smiled back, and he headed to the door.

“Azriel.” You called him and he stopped. “I would really appreciate if you came to my sessions with Helion… if you have time… Its okay if you don’t want to” you chewed on your bottom lip.

“Of course I’ll come” he said and with that he was gone.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Helion arrived the next day, ruining your plans with Azriel to go to the city. Rhysand explained to him what you talked about and then he left you with Helion and Azriel.

“I will start with the left one” Helion explained and took your hand between his warm palms. “When I heal most of the damage, we will do both simultaneously” he informed you and you nodded. “You will feel a lot of pain, do you want something to bite?”

“Should I?” you asked, and he nodded.

Azriel quickly left the room and came back with a piece of leather.

“This used to be a belt, I washed it” he informed you and gave it to you.

“Okay let’s do this” you said and bit down on the leather.

Helion’s eyes became brighter, and you felt his power piercing through your skin, your eyes watered and the piece of leather seemed to groan at the pressure. You felt nauseous and goosebumps appeared on your soft skin. Azriel immediately grabbed your other arm a bit higher than where the damage was, and his shadows slithered around your body anxiously. The pain made you see stars and you were sure you would faint, but Azriel’s siphons started beaming and you felt a wave of power inside you, urging you to stay strong. His shadows hissed at Helion but remained on you, wiping away your tears and caressing your cheeks. Sweat was running down on Helion’s forehead, and his eyes closed before he stopped.

“I need a minute” he panted and walked out.

Azriel immediately removed the belt from your mouth and fetched you a glass of water. “You did so good” he praised you and removed a strand of hair from your face.

You could only nod.

“Should we stop?” he asked you worriedly.

“No no” you mumbled and took a deep breath.

Helion walked inside again and grabbed your right hand. You nodded and Azriel placed the belt between your teeth.

Everything repeated and Azriel’s power flowed in your body giving you strength and you could swear that it took some of the pain away. When Helion was done your eyelids felt heavy and your body gave up. The last thing you felt was Azriel as he carried you to your room and tucked you in, he probably thought that you were unconscious because before he left he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

If I forgot to tag someone please let me know! If someone wants to be removed from the taglist please tell me I won't be offended. What do you think about Chapter 12?

@glitterypirateduck, @zara-aliza08, @mika-no-sekai-blog , @purpleshoelaces , @act1839, @fasoaurore, @pinksmellslikelove, @bunnyredgirl, @lectoracronica, @tuggboatfishin, @sunnysideup000, @blessthepizzaman, @raisinggray, @ssmay123 , @kalulakunundrum, @justasillylittlegoofyguy, @tsunami-of-tears, @just-a-social-casualty-1, @thelov3lybookworm, @saltedcoffeescotch, @justdreamstars, @strangersunghoon , @sosuitcandy , @cat-or-kitten, @ohthemisssery, @starsinyourseyes, @no1massassin, @stained-glass-eyes0708, @vellichor01, @hnyclover, @miraclepirate , @amara-moonlight.

#acotar #acotar series #azriel #acotar fanfiction #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #azriel fanfic #azriel angst #azriel x reader #rhysand #shadowsinger x reader #spymaster #city of starlight #night court #velaris #the night court #acowar #acomaf #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin

[jjungkookislife]

Crybaby [Epilogue]

ღ pairing: namjoon x f. reader

ღ genre: established relationship, light smut [18+]

ღ summary: Sometimes your emotions overwhelmed you, sometimes they made you cry, but your friends were there to comfort you all the time. Crybaby, a sweet nickname bestowed upon you by said friends, but when Kim Namjoon says it, it's more of a tease.

ღ wc: 1.5k

ღ warnings: impreg kink, unprotected sex, marking (hickeys, scratching), mention of beer pong, uncle!jungkook, pregnant!reader

ღ date: January 7, 2024

Namjoon couldn't get the thought out of his head, not after you had been so responsive on your wedding night just a few days ago. You had cried so much that night, begging and sobbing for him to fuck you full of his cum, to breed you, while tears rolled down your cheeks like they always did when you were overwhelmed by the love you held for him.

His fingers laced with yours, hands pinned to the mattress as he fucked you, mapped out his home in the column of your throat and imagined every filthy desire that escaped your lips. You begged him to get you pregnant, to breed you like he so desperately wanted to but didn't realize until the words slipped from your kiss-swollen lips in the heat of the moment, hands breaking free and nails raking down his back as you arched into him, kissing him deeply.

Now all Namjoon could think about was you round with his child, a deep ache in his chest as he looked over at you from across the room, you had no idea how you were affecting him as you laughed along with your shared friends, but he was desperate with a carnal desire to bed you again and again until you were round with his child.

Yoongi is the one who approaches Namjoon. 

“Everything okay?” Yoongi asks as he raises his cup to his lips.

“Y-yeah,” Namjoon clears his throat as his cheeks flush. He’s unsure if he wants to bring this up right now; especially when your friends are gathered just a few feet away in an intense game of charades.

“You sure?” Yoongi prods. Usually, he’d be in the mix of everyone, but Jungkook had already pushed him toward Joon with a knowing look, though part of him thinks it was because of his shit talent at charades.

“No,” Namjoon sighs in resignation. He knew his younger brother wouldn’t allow Yoongi to leave Namjoon’s side until he got an answer but some things were just too personal to share. Namjoon wasn’t sure if he should even discuss this with Yoongi until he discussed it with you.

After all, Namjoon had been living in your home for months now. You had insisted on living together before the wedding and Namjoon had agreed. You had more than enough space for him, a home office, and perhaps now a nursery? Namjoon wasn’t sure how he wanted to proceed. Had you meant what you had said? Were you ready to grow your family? Or was it just something to say in between the sheets? Not knowing would eat at him.

“I won’t tell Jungkook if you don’t want me to,” Yoongi shrugs. “He’s nosy as all hell, but even he knows not to get into your business with you two. You’re married now.”

“I know,” Joon says. “It’s just, Baby said something on our wedding night and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

Yoongi nods, waiting for Namjoon to continue.

“She said…” Namjoon trails off, embarrassed. “She wanted a baby.”

Yoongi grins. “Congrats!”

Namjoon laughs. “We haven’t done anything. I don’t know if it was just talk.”

“Just talk?” Yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion.

Namjoon covers his face with his hands. “You know, talk?”

It takes Yoongi a few more moments for Yoongi to realize what Namjoon is insinuating. “Oh! Oh!”

Chuckling, he shakes his head. “Damn, who knew our Crybaby had a way with words. Good for her.”

Namjoon smacks Yoongi’s shoulder. “That’s my wife!”

Yoongi laughs harder, shaking his head. “So what’s the problem? Just talk to her about it. Chances are she meant what she said. Do you want kids?”

Namjoon nods. “I’ve always wanted to be a father. More so once I met Baby. I’m excited to try but I don’t know if she meant it and we’ve been too busy to even sit down and discuss it.”

Yoongi nods, placing his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“It’ll all work out, man.”

A few nights go by before Namjoon is pulling you into his broad arms, kissing your cheek. 

“I’ve missed you,” he states as he trails kisses down your jaw toward your neck.

You giggle. “I’ve been right here.”

“I know,” Namjoon explains. “I just want you all to myself.”

“Ah, my husband,” you giggle as he kisses your neck, his hand going to your hip. 

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you call me that,” Namjoon admits as he takes your hand to lead you to the bedroom. You smile when you get on the bed and he joins you, kissing your lips.

You’re lost in his touch, his lips, his dulcet moans as you strip each other. He pauses when you reach for his boxers, taking your hand in his to lace your fingers together. 

“There’s something I’ve wanted to talk to you about,” he says as he brings your hand to his lips. “Something you said on our wedding night.”

Immediately, you know what he’s talking about and your cheeks grow hot. You nod, licking your lips as you feel tears sting the corner of your eyes.

“Do you want to start a family already?” Namjoon asks as he locks eyes with you. He knows you probably won’t be able to hold eye contact for long but he needs a genuine response.

“I do,” you admit. “I’m not sure how long you wanted to wait but nothing would make me happier, Namjoon.”

“I’m ready when you are,” Namjoon chuckles, leaning forward to kiss your lips.

“Really?” you ask as happy tears roll down your cheeks.

“Really,” Namjoon assures you as he kisses your tears away. He kisses your hand one more time before stealing a kiss from your lips, his broad body over yours as you two get lost in the moment. Moans soon fill the bedroom, and Namjoon takes care of you again and again.

Four Years Later

“Jungkook!” you call as you step into the home he shares with his husband, Yoongi. “Come get your nephews!”

Namjoon laughs as he comes in carrying both boys in his arms. The Twin Terrors, you called them when they were hyped up on sugar and no naps.

Jungkook appears from the kitchen, his smile radiant as he spots his nephews.

“My babies!” he cries as he opens his arms wide. The boys cling to him, giggling when Jungkook lifts them both. 

Yoongi shuffles in after, a mug of coffee in his hand.

“Jimin and Tae?” he asks with a yawn.

“Yup,” you nod, shaking your head as Jimin and Taehyung walk into the home with a table and chairs for the backyard.

“Seokjin is in the back with Hobi manning the grill,” Yoongi states before leading Jimin and Tae to the backyard.

“In our defense,” Tae starts but shuts up when he notices the glare you shoot his way. “Never mind.”

Jungkook cackles as he carries your sons to the backyard. Namjoon shuts the front door before heading to the kitchen to grab you a bottle of water. You thank him when he hands the bottle to you and the both of you head to the backyard.

You take a seat at the table with all the snacks, waiting for lunch to be prepared. Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung chase your children around the yard. Jungkook had Yoongi build them a playground set for when they stay over to visit.

“Mommy!” your oldest comes running toward you. “What’s beer pong?”

You shoot a look at Jimin that could freeze Hell and all its inhabitants.

“It’s a game for adults,” Namjoon swoops in, taking his son from you.

“Oh,” your son laughs. “Jimin said you can’t play because you’re having a sister.”

You sigh heavily. “You’re getting a sister. Jimin needs to mind his business.”

Jimin waves from his spot. “Sorry!”

Taehyung cackles as he lifts your youngest onto his shoulders. You shake your head as Jungkook goes after them toward the slides. Your oldest screeches as he wiggles out of Namjoon’s hold to join them.

Hoseok scoops him up and runs with him, both laughing as they go. Jungkook demands to be pushed in the swing while your oldest claims the highest point as his kingdom.

Namjoon drapes his arm over your shoulder as you take in the scene unfolding before you. Seokjin and Yoongi talk animatedly about something by the grill, your other friends play with your children, and you know the baby on the way will have just as much love as your sons. Your heart swells with happiness. So much love to go around. You’ve always been loved and accepted by the seven men present, and that love has overflowed and been passed onto your children as well. You couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to call your friends; your family.

Namjoon isn’t the least bit surprised to see you crying, with a smile on your face.

“My Crybaby,” he chuckles as he kisses your forehead. “Always my Crybaby.”

<< previous

#namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfiction #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader insert #husband!namjoon #dad!namjoon #namjoon x y/n #crybaby!reader

[trashpandato]

Earth

It’s a few days after the initial flurry of Kara coming out to the world as Supergirl. Kara won’t lie; she’s exhausted. It’s a combination of days of back-to-back interviews, of juggling her new responsibilities as Editor-in-Chief along with her appearances as Supergirl, both in a crime fighting capacity as well as those appearances that were more for show. Several weeks of nervous anticipation paired with new demands on her time have taken their toll. 

But finally, finally, she gets to relax with Lena on her couch one Friday evening.

They’ve had dinner already, sharing a few dishes from the new Thai restaurant that Kara has been dying to try for a while, and now Lena is sipping on her wine while Kara works her way through a container of ice cream. After this week, she deserves an extra treat, or three.

Lena has been quiet all evening, uncharacteristically so. Usually, when it’s just the two of them, Lena doesn’t hold back. Kara is about to ask her what’s wrong when Lena puts her wine glass down and fixes her with a searching look.

“You know,’ she says, her words hesitant and a little shaky, “I’m surprised you’re still here.”

Kara frowns. “What do you mean? This is my apartment.”

“No, I mean, here. On Earth.”

At that, Kara shifts so she can face Lena more fully. She doesn’t ask any more questions, wants Lena to get out what she needs to say without interruption.

“With Nyxly defeated, and Lex gone, hopefully for good this time, I thought you might want to, um, go home. To Argo. Be with your parents.”

Kara can hear the fear in Lena’s voice, can see the way her hands tremble a little. She has a pretty good idea how much courage it has taken Lena to broach the subject, and her heart aches a little when she thinks about how long Lena must have sat with these thoughts, mulling them over, stewing, like she does when she is worried about something.

“Lena,” she says, trying to infuse the next few words with as much clarity and conviction as possible, “I am home. Sure, eventually I’ll want to go visit Argo again for a couple of weeks, but Earth is home for me now. This is,” she adds, waving her hands between them, “you are.���

There’s a small gasp and then Lena looks up at her, eyes wide.

“Me?”

Kara nods and takes both of Lena’s fidgeting hands in her own.

“I feel like we still have unfinished business, you and I. With Nyxly and Lex and all the chaos they brought, we’ve barely had time to breathe. To talk. To think about what we want, moving forward.”

Kara watches as Lena tilts her head to the side just a bit. “What we want?”

“Mm. I know what I want. I know that I can’t envision a life without you. But I think we need to talk about what you want, too. I’ve been the one making decisions for the both of us for too long. I want to do it right, this time.”

Lena doesn’t answer, not right away. For a moment, all she does is stare at Kara, mouth slightly open, like she can’t quite believe what Kara just revealed. Kara isn’t sure if she should continue, if she needs to spell out for Lena that her dreams of the future include a shared home, a wedding in Midvale, lazy Sunday mornings in bed, and Lena at the center of it all. But before Kara can decide, Lena surges forward and crashes their lips together. It’s forceful enough that Kara tips backwards, surprised by Lena’s speed. It means that their first kiss isn’t quite what Kara had imagined it might be, a soft, delicate thing by the door before Lena heads out for the evening. Instead, Kara’s back is pressed into her couch and Lena is on top of her, pushing herself as close as she can get.

When Lena eventually pulls back a little, her lipstick smeared and her hair askew, there’s a bright smile on her face, the kind that makes her nose scrunch up a little.

“I know what I want, too.”

#supercorp #kara x lena #supercorptober2023 #supercorptober

[moonlightspencie]

and i’m not how you hoped

Description: “forgive my northern attitude, oh i was raised out in the cold”

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: drugs (reader smokes weed), alcohol consumption, past loss of a child

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: might write a part 2

playlist here!

Things had been weird. That much was for certain. We both knew there was something happening between us that neither of us wanted to address. Until we did.

What followed were a couple years of… not bliss, but the closest thing we could get to it. He was good to me; too good to me much of the time, if you ask me. But it worked. It was good and comfortable and entirely natural to us.

Though, as I always tended to do, I had to find a reason why it wouldn’t last.

Most of the time, he could reason with me. He was really good at that, actually. Being reasonable, and knowing me well enough to use what makes me tick against me in order to keep me from self-sabotaging.

But, as things always do, it changed. Now, something was weird again. And it was something I didn’t want to talk about. It was something he’d try to figure out, but never quite get.

I sat at the table in our motel room. We went on a case that weekend after Sam had seen something online about a possible werewolf. He’d tried suggesting it as a way to get us to let him help regardless of his still-healing broken arm. All that came of it was us leaving him behind to take care of it. And we did.

I’d gotten into bed, expecting Dean to meet me there after his shower. But, my body seemed to know something was off before I did. I woke up an hour later to see the impala missing.

So, I sat at the table. Waiting.

“You’re back late,” I noted, not looking up.

I didn’t need to. I could smell alcohol and stale cigarette smoke rolling off of him. He’d been at the bar all night, that wasn’t a secret. I just wished I didn’t have to hear him lie about it.

“I needed to go for a drive.”

I looked up at that, simply raising a brow. We both knew he didn’t really mean that. Sure, he’d gone for a drive. But I knew that he’d be going back for the impala in the morning when he thought I wasn’t awake.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes.

“Sorry.”

I nodded. “I know. Just go shower.”

He shuffled into the motel bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him. I settled into bed again shortly afterwards, letting myself drift off the sounds of the water hitting shower tile. I woke in the early morning hours, his bed already empty.

I turned over, seeing the sunlight start to settle over the horizon and give a warm glow to the earth. I cuddled further into the comforter, deciding to close my eyes until I heard the rumble of an engine, the rustling of a take out bag hitting the table, and the mattress creaking under his weight. It all happened as I had preplanned it in my head, and only after all of that did I allow myself to pull my aching body out of the bed and into a stream of hot water.

I closed my eyes, letting it wash over me and bring relief to all of the parts of me that were battered and bruised on the case. Getting slammed into a wall was seldom a fun time. At least this place actually had some water pressure.

We drove down the road in silence, and I stared out the window. He tried a few times to strike up a conversation, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak more than a few words.

Things had been off for a long time. He knew it. I knew it.

It started when I raised concerns about his habits at the bar. It scared me sometimes how he’d drink until he was numb. He’d get back and pass out until the morning. He’d wake up half human. I hated the cycle of it.

But, really, it was more than that. I knew how he was.

What scared me most was that he’d started talking about our future. He’d started planning for when we were done hunting, or at least when we only took smaller cases to pass the time. He told me he wanted to marry me. Not in some big, fancy wedding. He said he wanted our family there, blood and found. He told me I didn’t have to wear a white dress if I didn’t want to, but that he’d love to see it if I chose to do it.

He told me he wanted kids eventually.

I didn’t know what to say at the time, and weeks later I still couldn’t figure it out. There was only one solution in my mind to it all.

“Alright, that’s enough,” he sighed, pulling to the side of the road and whipping the car into park. “Why are you being like this?”

“Like what?”

“Don’t act dumb. You know exactly what.”

I huffed out a breath. “I can’t do this anymore, Dean.”

He was physically taken aback, his stare on me unwavering. He shook his head in disbelief as I tried not to notice.

“Can’t do what, exactly?”

“This. All of it.”

He reached out, a warm hand on my arm.

“Baby.”

“I can’t do it. I can’t lose you. I can’t watch something out there finally get to you. Or Sam. I really can’t watch you drink until you’re dead.”

“I’m doubt that’s going to be the thing to kill me.”

“It’s been every night, Dean. You’re sneaking out to do it.”

“I’m sorry, okay? But I’m not going to kill myself with a beer.”

“That’s not my point, Dean.”

“Whatever the hell your point is, you knew me before we got together. What changed in the past few months other than the fact that I told you I want to be with you for real?”

I sighed, my eyes scanning over my hands in my lap. He knew his answer, regardless of how much I tried to hide it. Part of me hating his method of self-medicating, that’s for sure. But a much larger part was scared of how much I loved him, and even more how much he seemed to love me. The way he could see through me so easily told me as much.

“I thought,” Dean started, shaking his head as he glanced away.

“You thought,” I said, almost as a confirmation that a thought is all it would be.

I watched him as he looked out the window. My heart was pounding in my chest. I knew I was being harsh, but I always told him to be careful getting too close to me. We’d both known too much loss.

“I tried telling you it wouldn’t work, Dean.”

He snapped his head towards me. “So that means you’ll shut me out the second we really get close to— to something real?”

I let out a breath, not able to bring myself to respond.

“Say something! Anything,” he pleaded, trying to mask his pain with anger. It didn’t work well.

“You don’t know what I’ve—”

“Dammit, then tell me,” he said, voice raising even more. “How am I supposed to know if you don’t say anything?”

“Try telling yourself that, Dean,” I replied before I could think.

“The difference is that I’ve opened up to you.”

I fell silent at that, taking a slow breath. He kept his eyes on me through it all, knowing he’d bested me on that point.

“I can’t lose anyone else,” I said quietly.

“You think I don’t know what that’s like?”

“Not like I do,” I stated firmly, looking at him with glassy eyes. “You know part of how I got into all of this.”

“What else?” he asked, voice growing quieter.

“I was twenty, settling down finally after breaking things off with my boyfriend at the time,” I began.

“Right. You were with your parents then.”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Uh, but what I don’t tell anyone is that I was pregnant when I moved in with them. That’s why I moved in with them, actually. I could’ve taken care of myself, but I needed help with the baby.”

His faced dropped, and he reached his hand out to hold mine on instinct. I gave it a soft squeeze, appreciating the grounding he gave to me in that moment. He always knew how to calm my nerves, though this time even his hand engulfing mine only provided a tiny amount of comfort.

“Did…” he started, sighing softly. “Did you lose the baby?”

I shook my head, and his hand squeezed mine a little tighter. I didn’t dare look in his direction, turning my eyes outside the window. I looked at the trees blowing in the wind, the clouds passing by, and pretty much anything else that would take my attention away from what I was about to say.

“I had the baby. Her— her name was April,” I stuttered out, quickly wiping away tears as they fell with my free hand. “We got to spend two years together. The first six months were with my parents, and we moved south after that. She was everything to me. I never knew you could love someone that much, you know?”

“I’m so…”

“I know,” I cut him off.

“If I’d have known sooner,” he said, leaving me to figure out the rest.

“Would it really have stopped you from trying?”

“No,” he shook his head. “But I would’ve understood more. I could’ve been more sensitive. I could’ve been there for you.”

“That was ten years ago. You only got to know me a couple years back.”

“That’s not the point.”

“What is the point?”

He brought my knuckles to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there.

“You deserve to have someone who’s there for you when you need to talk. Pain doesn’t just go away. Especially— Especially since that kind of pain isn’t like anything else,” he said, keeping my eyes on his.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about, though. You couldn’t understand what I lost.”

“I could still be there for you.”

I snorted out a laugh, and he merely looked at me curiously. I shook my head before I looked at him again.

“When did Dean Winchester become the soft and sensitive one?”

“You’ve given me a run for my money on the whole ‘cold and mysterious’ thing, sweetheart,” he said with a soft smile.

“I’ve won on the unattached part, too.”

His smile faded, a more somber look taking its place.

“You’re still leaving?”

“Telling you my closest secret doesn’t mean I’m obligated to stick around. I think we both know you’re not changing your ways anyhow.”

He nodded slowly, finally dropping my hand. He looked ahead, starting the car and pulling away from the lookout point as if it were any other day.

Each day passed so slowly over the next several months.

I packed up everything I had, though it wasn’t much, and just drove. I didn’t know where to yet at the time, but I needed to clear my head before I made any real decisions. Doing it behind the wheel seemed as good a place as any.

Eventually I found myself going north. It was like a magnetized pull, I couldn’t help myself. I drove and drove until I was in front of an old cabin that I still somehow had the key to.

It was almost the same as I remembered inside. A bit further north from where my parents had lived, but still a slice of home out in the woods. It needed a little work, but then again, so did I. I figured it could be a little project that would help each of us polish up a little.

It was a slow process, but eventually the cabin looked just like it did when I was a kid. It was airy and warm in the summer. And as the fall months rolled in, it was cozy and bright from the blaze in the fireplace.

I picked up old habits as I settled into my new home, needing a little buzz here and there when I wasn’t on the occasional hunt.

I rolled up slowly, methodically, letting it take the same mental place that I knew cleaning a gun would take for Dean. I wondered if he’d be disappointed in me. I wondered if he’d take the smoke from my lips and swallow it down like it was the sweetest autumn air. I took a deep breath, clearing out that air from my head and let the routine take over.

Routine carried me from the small dining table in the cabin, out the back door, onto the wooden deck, and right into an old, rickety rocking chair. The chill in the air seeped into my bones, and I wrapped my jacket closer around my body. I could hear the quiet chirps of a few birds telling me that it was far too late in the season for anyone to really enjoy being around here. But I couldn’t help myself.

Home was home. No matter how much I’d tried to remove myself from it as a kid, I always found my way back. It felt like an odd kind of comfort now. Now that everything has changed so much.

I wondered if April would’ve liked it here. She loved the snow when it came, I knew that much. Maybe she would’ve been able to grow accustomed to a more lingering cold. I wondered what would’ve happened if we’d have stayed with my parents up north. Though I rationalized that thinking about those ‘what-ifs’ would only tear me up. I didn’t know about any of the evil in the world outside of human beings. I couldn’t have done anything better to protect her and I had to force myself to remember that.

I looked out over the small patch of land that wasn’t covered in a blanket of trees. It was overgrown, I could see that well enough. I just didn’t care all that much. I breathed in deep, letting the crisp air fill my lungs. It smelled like pine and rain, with the faint smell of the chimney smoke seeping out of the cabin’s rooftop. The wind carried much of that smell in the opposite direction, much to my dismay. I wished it would come and wash away the smell of a different type of smoke that was soon to come.

I closed my eyes, letting the breeze carry itself over my body. It was growing colder with the fire-orange sky forcing itself into nighttime. I wished the sun would stay with me a little longer. But I was born and bred into the cold, and summer sunshine was always a privilege and blessing. I couldn’t expect it to stick around forever. I put the joint to my lips.

My eyes opened slowly. I lit up the end, letting the smoke slowly fill up my body like I was a hot air balloon and it was the only thing keeping me afloat. I exhaled slowly, watching the cloud float into the sky with the rest of it’s purer siblings.

I thought of Dean again, and this time I allowed myself to indulge for more than a few moments. I wondered what he was doing. Where he was. If there was some case pulling him across the states and even further than he already was from me. I wondered if he was even alive.

Life was dangerous. We all knew that much, and it was almost a comfort. It was hard to feel unprepared for the end of all things when you could recognize that you had a much larger margin for it than most other people. But I worried less for him when it came to being torn apart by werewolves or getting his neck snapped by a demon. I worried more that the bottle would take him long before he’d have a chance to die bloody.

Dying from liver failure seemed to be a much worse fate, I thought.

But, even so, I knew that whatever he was doing, he was probably drinking while doing it. It was another kind of morbid comfort. That wherever he was, I could know that one thing wouldn’t change: he’s been and probably always will be a functioning alcoholic. The bottle would be by his side through everything. Even if I couldn’t.

Maybe Dean wouldn’t really have a right to judge me for smoking. Vices were the things that kept us going when we felt like false virtues were perpetually being forced onto us. If we kept saving the world, maybe we deserved to fuck around a little on the side.

I sat with that for a little while, letting it chill me the same way the air did until my fingers felt the heat from the end of my nightly indulgence. I decided I could go for a cigarette.

Winter came in fast. In hindsight I should’ve known, but I hadn’t lived up north in so long. I pulled a blanket up to my chin as I settled on the couch after dinner, closing my eyes as my body warmed slowly. I’d already had my smoke for the night, and it was still in the process of settling in my body. The night was peaceful. Until there was a loud knock on my door.

I got up quickly, taking my gun from the side table and walking slowly towards the entry way. Nobody was supposed to know I was here, and I certainly wasn’t expecting visitors. I kept my gun behind the door, ready to pull it on whoever stood on the other side.

The door creaked loudly as I pulled it open, but the sound of my heart in my chest was much louder when I saw who was standing on the other side.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said quietly, giving me a lopsided smile.

I let out a breath. “Hey.”

He sighed softly, looking past me into the cabin. I could see in his face he was sizing up the place, trying to see if I was safe enough here. That brain of his was always working, even when it was covert like this. Something people never seemed to see with him.

He’d always been undercut by everyone who knew him. Sammy was the smart one, Dean was just the muscle. But he was so much more than that. He was practically a genius in his own right. The amount he knew about various gods and monsters would blow most other hunters out of the water. All he’d seen and knew amounted to more than someone who spent all their time in a library. I knew that from firsthand experience. He’d shocked me time and time again with all of the facts he’d be able to pull out of thin air.

I stared at him as he took me in, too. He was sizing me up just as much as he’d done to the house. Trying to figure out if I’d been taking care of myself. He had a special talent for reading me in that way.

“How’ve you been?” he finally asked when he had his suspicions in place.

I shrugged. “Same old.”

“You look good.”

He could still make me blush. I stepped backwards, opening the door further.

“Do you want to come in?”

He nodded. “Please.”

I watched him as he walked past me, looking around the place.

“This is nice,” he stated at last, then looked back at me with a soft smile. “Where’d you find this?”

“Uh, it was a place Bobby helped my dad find years ago. I was just a little kid, but this place… It was like Disney World-equivalent.”

He laughed. “Screwed up standards we’ve got. This still looks like magic to me.”

I walked nearer. “It is.”

He fell quiet, giving me that same old look. It never got old, the way his eyes softened and his lips formed the slightest smile. It was almost imperceptible, but I could always tell when it was there.

“I needed to be back home,” I said, glancing around like I was seeing it all with new eyes. “It’s good for me.”

“You always talked like it was the greatest place in the world. I kind of always thought you’d end up back here. At least back in Wisconsin,” he shrugged. “I’m happy for you.”

I put my hands in my pockets. “You thought I’d come back here?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Felt kinda… Like it was supposed to happen. Not fate, just—”

“Inevitable?”

“Yeah.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, something clearly on his mind. I looked off towards the fireplace, noting how it had started to smolder rather than burn. That just wasn’t right.

I walked over abruptly, throwing a few fresh logs onto the pile, standing and staring until it was in a comfortable blaze once more. I let myself feel the warmth through my clothes for a few minutes.

I turned towards Dean again eventually, seeing him still in the same spot like he was stuck in time. I called him over, telling him to get warm by the fire. The winter months weren’t always kind this far up in the state, and he was clearly feeling the chill.

He came to stand next to me, his arm just barely brushed mine, but it still managed to send a spark all the way through my spine. Some things never changed, at least. He held out his hands, letting the fire’s warmth creep all the way up and through his clothes. He let out a soft breath, enjoying the blaze.

“It’s cold up here,” he stated.

“Always told you I grew up cold. Sun sets around 4:30, and the snow comes in hard.”

“What about in the summer?”

“Sweltering and beautiful.”

He laughed quietly, shaking his head after a few seconds. I gave him an amused smirk, looking up at him.

“What are you laughing about?”

He shrugged. “Grew up cold, but it’s still sweltering and beautiful. Just sounds a lot like you.”

I swallowed, not responding. We stood at the fireplace a minute longer before I finally found words to say. Probably the wrong ones.

“You smell like the bar,” I stated quietly.

“You smell like smoke,” he retorted.

I hummed. “Not much else to do up here in the dead of winter.”

I walked towards the couch, settling into the cushions and letting my body melt. He watched me as I did, waiting until I was comfortable to sit beside me. He let out a long, soft sigh.

“You could always come back. Hunt with us.”

I didn’t respond. Once again.

I saw him watching me out of the corner of my eye. His arms were crossed over his chest, but even with his guarded appearance, I knew he was desperately wanting to open up. There was something on his mind, I just couldn’t quiet tell what it was.

“We miss you,” he said at last. “It’s not the same without you. And I don’t want to pull you away from all this, I just—”

He let out a breath again, though this time it was much heavier. I took a chance and turned my head to see him in full. He no longer looked all calm, cool, and collected. I could see it in his face. He was deeply uncomfortable with what he was saying, but he couldn’t quite stop himself from saying it anyways. He swallowed, looking down at his hands in his lap before he continued his thought.

“I’d really like it if you could come with sometimes. You don’t have to stay all the time, but I— me and Sammy… We just really miss you.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Dean.”

He nodded solemnly, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. I watched him for a moment, only speaking when I realized he wasn’t planning on saying anything else.

“I’m better off here. Sometimes I’ll grab a case if it’s nearby, but I’m pretty much as out as a hunter can get right now. And besides, everything that happened with…” I trailed off, looking away when he turned his head towards me. “Well, you know.”

He swallowed. “I know.”

We were quiet for a moment, a million thoughts running through my head and probably his. He looked at me for a moment.

“What changed?”

I raised a brow. “What didn’t?”

He smiled to himself a little, tilting his head down almost shyly. It still sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach when he smiled like that.

“You never really wanted to leave the life. Now you kind of have.”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah. I don’t know, I guess it just— Hunting all the time like that just isn’t for me anymore, I guess. Things change.”

He sighed softly. “You know, I really don’t drink much anymore. I did tonight, but that’s mostly because I was terrified to see you.”

I looked at him, catching his eye quickly. I didn’t know what to say, and it was clear after a moment that he didn’t either.

“Where’s Sam?” I asked after another beat of silence.

“He stayed behind. Wanted to give me some space.”

I nodded.

We both turned, looking into the flames of the fireplace for a while. It was quiet again, but a bit less uncomfortable, now. He breathed slowly, the rhythm of his chest rising and falling calming me down. Several minutes passed just like that. Peaceful silence.

I felt the cushion he was on shift a bit eventually. Little by little his hand moved towards mine. And I let it happen. I even opened my hand to his when his palm finally covered my fingers entirely.

I heard his breath change at last, one big sigh let out, as our fingers intertwined. I’m sure my breath sounded a tiny bit erratic, but I’m certain the effects of the weed were helping to calm any nerves I’d be feeling. That what I tried telling myself, even as I turned my head towards him and opened my mouth to speak.

“Do you need someplace to crash?”

“No, I have a room.”

I breathed in. “Will you stay anyways?”

He froze up for a few seconds. Then…

“Always.”

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x female!reader #noah kahan #northern attitude

[heroloverangel]

Nest

You and Hawks plan for the future.

You knew what you were getting into when you fell for Hawks. With his schedule, it was clear that you’d be spending a lot of time on your own and would rarely get more than a few hours a week together. Still, it was a small price to pay if it meant getting to be with the man you’ve grown to love. Sure, you not exactly thrilled that your honeymoon was a three-day weekend at home when his wings were damaged, but you’re not going to waste what little time you have with him complaining.

“Hey.” His voice is rough from sleep as you hear him shuffle forward to you. You’ve got your back to him as you wash the dishes, and your heart beats a little faster when warm arms wrap around your waist and pull you into his chest. “You busy?”

You shut the water off before leaning more into his embrace, letting him walk you backwards to the couch. “Not at all. You have a nice nap?” He nods and presses his face into your neck, and you run your fingers through his messy hair. He practically coos into your touch and only squeezes you tighter. “Keigo? You okay?”

He nods and meets your eyes with a tired smile. “I’m good, just kinda been thinking about some things.” Your wedding ring catches his attention and he reaches for your hand. “I get that it’s only been a couple weeks, but I’m pretty sure this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Your heart melts and you cuddle closer to him on the couch. “Me too. I wish we got more time together, but every minute like this makes it all worth it.” He hums happily, and you wonder if that’s all he wanted to say. It’s no secret that he’s always starved for affection, and you’ve got more than enough to sustain him. His wings fold in around you, wrapping the two of you in a little world of your own. You snuggle on the couch together for a few more minutes before you decide it’s time to finish the dishes and begin to stand.

You’re not expecting his next move as he reaches for you again. “I wanna have a baby,” he blurts out with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer crashing through a wall. 

You’re caught offguard. “You what?”

Keigo grabs for your hand and links his fingers with yours. “Uh…that was kinda sudden,” he laughs awkwardly. “We did talk about having kids someday,” he points out.

“Well, yeah, but when we said someday I didn’t think you meant this month!” 

He winces but tries harder to explain himself. “I really didn’t either, at first. I’ve never really had anyone of my own until you, though, and I love what we have together.” You nod but don’t interrupt him. “And adding a kid to the mix, some little chick that’s the best of you and me combined for us to take care of and love, don’t you think that’d be amazing?”

Now that the initial shock has worn off, you have to admit you’re not entirely opposed to the idea. “It would, I think.” You see the emotion in his eyes and it dawns on you. “You never had that growing up, did you?” Hawks shakes his head, and your chest aches with the thought that anyone could have denied him so much. You squeeze his hand back just as hard. “Oh, babe. You’re gonna be a great dad, but are you sure we’re ready to fill up a nest? You’re already stretching yourself so thin with everything,” you point out.

“I’ll get more time off,” he insists. “The top ten don’t get much in the way of parental leave, but I’ll find a way to swing it. I can trust the sidekicks to take on more of the work, they’ve been complaining about not having enough to do for awhile now. And there are so many other heroes who owe me favors, I bet I can cash some of those in for an extra night off every week. I’ll make it work,” he promises, already pulling out his phone. “If Endeavor could manage to raise four kids while he was in my position, I’ll figure out a way to handle one.”

You sigh and give his hand a reassuring squeeze of your own. “I know you will, and I want that with you. Just give me some time to think about how soon I want it, okay?” He swallows hard and nods, flashing you a smile that always makes you fall in love all over again.

He doesn’t bring it up again, there’s no reason to dwell on it when you both know it’s a conversation you won’t forget. Still, you can’t help noticing his eyes seem to wander towards your middle more than usual and how he’s even more eager to wrap his arms and wings around you every chance he gets. You know how important this is, but you surprise even yourself how quickly you reach a decision.

There’s a ball of nerves in your stomach knowing exactly what you’re agreeing to, but it’s tempered by a swell of excitement you weren’t expecting. Hawks has always been known as a man too fast for his own good, and you shouldn’t have expected anything different once you got married. “Okay, I’ve thought about it enough,” you announce one night while he relaxes after work and he looks back up at you with wide eyes. “Keigo, let’s have a baby.” You both smile at each other while the words sink in, and then he’s leaping off the couch and pulling you into a hug that squashes the air from your lungs.

“You’re sure? We really don’t have to jump into it if you want more time,” he insists, but you’ve already made up your mind. “That’s so great,” he gushes and cups your cheek to pull you in for a long kiss. “Y’know, it’s probably gonna take a couple tries. We better go ahead and get started now, mama bird.”

You cackle with laugher as you’re scooped up in a flurry of feathers without another word. You don’t think the smirk on his face has ever been bigger as he brings you down the hallway, nearly knocking the door off its hinges in his haste to give you a full nest.

#hero dadcademia #hawks x reader #pregnancy #bnha x reader

[angeledeggs]

Hey! Xx can you please do a HC for the courtiers having a S/O that they’ve known since they were humans? Like the S/O probably became a demon In order to stay with them.

I sure can! Btw, this was SO fun to write<3!!

Valerius🍷:

He's so very touched to have you. He's self conscious and though most don't know it, you know after being with him for so long.

"Are you sure you still want me?" He'll whisper to you at night. "Don't you want something better than me?"

When he was younger, he would shrug away your touch and scoff at you. He dosent know how he managed to keep you. But now he doesn't. He finds one of his only stress relievers to be at night when you two cling to each other.

If you ever become a demon for him or do something supernatural to stay with him, he will definitely cry.

How could you still love him? How could someone as sweet and beautiful as you love a corrupt man such as himself?

It's not long before he asks you to marry him. He should have a long time ago. But he finds the matching wedding bands ease the ache in his heart often.

Vlastomil🐛:

He's very old. He can't remember how many generations he's lived through. How many people he's seen die. But you never do. And it's not long before he realizes what you've done.

He confronts you, begging for you to say that you haven't done anything wrong to extend your lifespan for him, but he takes one look at your eyes, and he knows.

He's so mad at first. Why did you have to stay with him? He didn't deserve you, anyway. You just had to commit yourself to him in such a way...

He sheds many tears in his office.

But one day he just can't handle distancing himself from you anymore. You're the love of his life-- he shouldn't have distanced himself from you at all, oh, he's so sorry.

He can barely explain his apology in between tears, but he gets the point across well enough when he fumbles with his own rings, when he messily slips one onto your fingers, when he drops to his knees before you.

Valdemar💉:

They never ask you how you live as long as them. They already know why. You're their beloved, and as long as you are happy, they are aswell.

At night they find themselves turn to your sleeping form and hesitate to touch you. Their fingers are claws, their skin is no longer it's natural shade, but green, they have horns. They do not deserve you. They deserve not even to gaze upon you. In their eyes, you are still the sweetest human in the world.

Only when you plead with them to finally hold you like they used to do they give in. They have missed your warmth in their cold, dead arms.

The very same night they finally hold you after so long, they blurt it out. "Marry me." They whisper. "What?" You manage. Valdemar's eyes are teary. They force your head to look away with a hand at your jaw. They tremble against your back, your form pressed against their chest. Their tears are cold against your hair. "Marry me." They repeat.

Your ring is made of iron and bone.

Volta🍰:

She's so touched that you've stayed by her side for so long. She dosent like to think of it, though. She feels a lingering dread in her belly when she does. Why, you're human, it's such a surprise you've lasted as long as her. She is a demon after all, the only way you could last as long as her is if you--

Oh, no. No. You shouldn't have done that at all, you shouldn't have become a demon just for her. Why would you do that?

She loves you more than anything, you're her darling, why would you do such a thing? She finds herself constantly crying at night, distraught even as you comfort her.

She can barely eat or talk to the other courtiers she's so upset, so angry at herself for not noticing and intervening sooner. She should have noticed! She should have noticed that you became a demon like her...

Two demons. She contemplates this for a long time. Two demons, together. A sudden thought strikes her.

She runs to you in the middle of the day. She trips over many things, but it's fine, she needed to do this on her knees anyway. She scrambles to your legs, still on her knees, and clasps your hands in her own, and declares her offer of marriage.

She has no ring for you. But she has a bangle on her wrist. And so that shall be your wedding ring.

Vulgora⚔️:

They would be happy forever if only besides you. They always told themself that. And it's so true. They love you so much, more than anyone, more than anything.

And they had always just assumed you were human like when you both met

They don't think much of you living as long as them, at first. They don't pay attention to many things, after all. And then one day, they're just looking at you when they realize, that, oh. That's why you lived so long. It's because you're like them.

They don't know what to think, they're kind of numb to it at first. How could they not notice?

They think of it for a long, long time. Such a long time. They are unusually quiet. And then one day they just embrace you so tight your back cracks, their muscles tight and tense.

Pressed in an embrace, they present to you their oldest sword, and they beg for your hand in marriage, to commit themselves to you as you had commit themselves to them.

❀

#the arcana #the arcana apprentice #the arcana fanfic #the arcana game #consul valerius #praetor vlastomil #vlastomil #volta #pontifex vulgora #vulgora #the arcana vulgora #valdemar x reader #valdemar x mc #valdemar the arcana #quaestor valdemar #valdemar #requests are welcome #reqs open

[lynnbeth5172]

Stitched Up Love iii

Another nightmare, it was always the same. When Aemond lost his eye, that time it was Jacaerys; he was the one who stabbed his eye out, most times in his dreams. His cousins and nephews took turns stabbing him, in one dream it was Rhaena, the next it was Baela…but it always ended with Lucerys.

His mother knew of the night terrors, when they started. She’d calm him when she heard his screams from his bedchamber, but as he got older and was able to stifle his cries. She hadn’t noticed that he still has the nightmares, he didn’t want to make her more tired than she already was, not when he could see the bags underneath her eyes or the skin around her fingers getting worse and bloodied.

He rubbed his eye and felt an ache coming, clenching his jaw and the blanket as the ache of his eye continued, breathing in deeply and breathing out as the pain slowly began to fade.

He got out of his bed and began putting on his riding leathers, then braiding his hair and pulling his eyepatch on. Planning to ride Vhagar to take out the bit of tension that the nightmare had on him. It made him feel free of the nightmares, free of his fathers neglect. 

In a few days it’ll be his father’s name day he mused on that thought, he knew that the king would have a feast to celebrate. As if he deserved any celebration for being a complete arse of a father. Aemond knew that his half sister will be there, his nephews and cousins will be there. That mere thought made his knuckles clench, Vhagar probably felt his tension so he yelled ‘Dohaeris’ as they were in the sky, eventually flying back to the dragon pit. 

“Ziry’ll sagon okay…”

He patted the elder dragon’s back and Vhagar snorted when he did that, Aemond smiled when she did that. After he claimed Vhagar and had healed properly enough from his eye injury; he visited the elderly dragon. He had felt slightly alone due to the preparations for Helaena and Aegon’s wedding, so he went to visit Vhagar in her cave. A book in hand as he read to the dragon in Valyrian, it was about the Doom of Valyria and talked about House Celtigar. Another family of Valyrian blood but rode no dragon or married a relative. The visits to Vhagar became more frequent as his siblings' wedding neared, with needing to sooth his sister’s panic attacks and having to hide the wine from Aegon, the dragon pit became a small sanctuary for him. A place to just take a rest from all the chaos of the wedding day, now it’ll be the name day of his father. Or rather the king.

“Rhaena won’t gūrogon ao…hen mēre hen rhaenyra’s letters, ziry emagon zȳhon own zaldrīzes bona hatched.”

He removed his glove with his teeth and folded them together, holding them together as he left the dragon pit. Eventually making it back to the Red Keep where the small preparations were being made ready, he looked at the tapestry on the walls, instead of the debaucheries of man and woman fucking. Before his niece and nephew were born, his mother changed the tapestries to show The Faith, Seven pointed stars sewn, though some of the imagery was disturbing; he supposed it was better than the original tapestries that were put on the wall.

Making it to his mother’s chamber, he opened the door. Being met with his mother giving his decaying father a bath, scrubbing the moldy skin with a gentle hand; through the trials and tribulations, Queen Alicent still had remained a beautiful woman, even with the light purple hue of bags under her eyes. As well as her tired look as she nodded along to her husband’s ramblings, as Aemond’s presence was announced, his mother’s gaze had gone to him and a small smile came to her face as he came closer to kiss his mother’s cheek. Not doing the same for his father.

“Good morning, mother…hope you had a restful sleep.” He gave a small nod and smile at his mother, not focusing on his father.

“Indeed I did, I hope you did too,” Queen Alicent looked back to Aemond’s father, he remembered when the mold and rot hadn’t been that bad. Now it had claimed half of his father’s ear, Aemond would’ve been lying if he hadn’t admitted that he found a small semblance of humor in his father’s ear decaying.

Soon he’ll be bone and no more.

“I saw the servants scurrying to get things ready…” Aemond hesitated but went on;

“When will Rhaenyra and her family be coming?” His mother probably saw him tense up again, she took his wrist and gently squeezed it for comfort.

“They’ll arrive in a few days, I’ve sent a raven to Rhaenyra but I haven’t gotten a reply,” she pressed her lips together and took in a breath, as if the princess not reading her letter made her slightly disappointed.

Aemond took his mother’s shoulder and squeezed it gently, any mention of the princess had the Queen slightly upset. When he asked his grandfather about why she gets upset by the mention of the princess, The hand would simply say that they were close.

The King's wheezing broke him out of his thoughts, repeatedly saying “Aemma”. When Aemond was younger he used to think that Aemma was his father’s sibling or a friend, that was until he asked the maester who Aemma was; the maester explained that she was the last wife of his father, his half sister’s mother. 

Now his father had taken to calling Aemond ‘Daemon’, which he remembered. Even if it was the rarest time of him being drunk, he vaguely remembered striking his father when he said that, making his father’s tooth fall.

Aemond stood but his hand remained on his mothers shoulder, wanting her to have a semblance of comfort. Leaning down to press a kiss on her forehead, that was when his father started coughing; his mother sighed like this was a common occurrence, it was.

“Aemond, fetch the maester…and maybe your grandfather.” He nodded and started walking towards the chamber door, only for it to open and be faced to faced with Isla, a basket in her hand and her chestnut hair in a braid that went down her shoulder. It suited her.

She seem to have peeked at what was happening since her smile faltered and she took a few steps back.

“I…Should I get the maesters?” Aemond fixed a reassuring smile onto his face.

“I’ll do it.” Then a thought occurred and he didn’t know why but he added: “Unless you’d like to join me to fetch the maester and my grandsire?” It seemed that the question was also unexpected by Isla as she raised her brow but nodded as he then offered her his arm to take. She hesitated but took his arm, her hand felt warm as they started walking together.

“Does this happen often?” He turned to her when she said that, her blue eyes were filled with curiosity, made him feel oddly warm inside. Though the question made him slightly uncomfortable, he hasn’t spoke to a lowborn like this, mostly polite curtesies. Most servants wouldn’t dare to ask these questions.

“Yes, mostly the coughing. The maesters make their daily round often…it feels like they sleep there.” He let a small smile come onto his face, Isla too had smiled a bit but her face went back to slightly serious.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this, my mother suffers from some sort of sickness so I understand.” Her gaze went back down as they made it to where the maester Mello was, her face becoming slightly more somber. As if the thought was painful. He didn’t mention that he didn’t care for his father, his father never cared when his eye was stolen. Why should Aemond care when his father may lose another limb?

He did feel bad for the girl, offering a smile to her. Deciding to change the subject.

“How long have you been a seamstress?” Her gaze went back up to him and she simply shrugged and looked forward as she spoke:

“My mother stitched clothes and other things to make ends meet, she tried teaching my sisters how to sew but only few of us understood how to.” She smiled a bit at the memory, it was a pleasant sight.

———————————————————————————————

After the two of them retrieved the maester, Isla brought the elder man back to his father’s chamber. He went to retrieve his grandfather, who was in his study, he brought him back to the king’s chamber. When he got there, the seamstress was gone and there was only a green dress on his mothers bed.

Aemond made it back to his own chamber to bathe and change into a tunic and jerkin, as well as britches. Eventually going to the playroom of his niece and nephew, where he was met with a grip around his leg, he looked down to see his nephew Jaehaerys , looking up at him like a happy puppy. It made him smile as he scooped Jaehaerys up and walked inside the nursery.

“Rytsas, byka Jae.” He crouched down to join his nephew on the floor as he looked up to see his sister with Maelor in her arms, that was when he noticed Aegon was also there.

“I heard father nearly died again, shame he didn’t.” His elder brother smiled gave a crooked smile and let Jaehaera do a braid in his hair.

“He didn’t.” Aemond was slightly stoic when he said that, contrast to his brothers amused look.

“And a damn shame he didn’t.” His crooked smile faltered slightly, they all wished their father was dead. He caused their mother pain and ignored them all in favor for their worthless bastard nephews.

“Blood will be in the water and there will be no undoing.” Helaena whispered that to babe Maelor as she bounced him up and down, Aegon ignored it but Aemond raised a curious brow to her, she gave him a small smile and he returned it.

He closed his eyes for a moment and took in a breath, it was a peaceful moment and he didn’t want to ruin it. His fathers cough attack was just a normal moment for him, it became normal. He wondered if Isla the seamstress would get used to it, if her mother had the same condition as his father then maybe she’d be used to it.

Though his father will still be alive…his only hope that his death will come soon. Even if chaos comes.

———————————————————————————————

Okay so…this took some time to write but I don’t mind this chapter tbh, some may not like it but I do so…<3

#aemond one eye #aemond targaryen x oc #anti viserys i targaryen

[filthy-mudeoki]

First snow

Like their first night in the snow, they makes wishes for each other. With their wedding around the corner, tonight’s snowfall is all the more special. 

Tagging: @kairadiamond Thank you for the prompt!! I had a lotta fun with this one!

Just be warned, it gets just a lil steamy at the end ... nothing too hectic.

Sang Zhi is under the covers, showered and comfortable, yet sleep evades her. Their pre-wedding party had come to an end some time ago. Her friends had whisked her away for the night, with the plans of pampering the bride come morning. Her stomach leaps with excitement at the thought that she’ll be getting married in only a matter of hours. 

But strangely enough, it’s not the excitement of her wedding that keeps her up now. It’s the thought of her groom that makes her worry. For the sake of propriety, Jiaxu was not staying at the same hotel as her. Still, it was only a five-minute drive, but it’s enough distance to leave her feeling slightly uneasy. She twists and turns and tries to talk herself out of it. 

She glances around the room and is blessed to see her friends fast asleep. Grabbing a pen and paper, she scribbles them a quick note. She doesn’t intend to stay out too late but she rather not altogether disappear on them. 

Sang Zhi is out the door and into the waiting taxi in no less than ten minutes. She’s had the same repetitive thought now and all it serves to do is make her sad. Because while her family have been in fully attendance tonight and all the days leading up to their wedding, Jiaxu has only had by his side, her and Sang Yan. 

She’s asked Jiaxu about the family he wanted to invite to their wedding and his answer broke her heart. 

“I … don’t have anyone to invite,” he told her. Sang Zhi noticed that he had looked a little embarrassed by that. “You’re my family, Zhizhi.” 

She had held him close that night. They had not spoken further on that for a while until she asked again, if there was no one he wanted to invite. In the end, Jiaxu settled for a few far lost distant relatives but he had made it a point to tell her that everyone he wanted at his wedding had already been invited. Sang Zhi thinks about her parents on the drive over to Jiaxu’s hotel. Their excitement and happiness has made every moment more memorable. Her heart aches, knowing that Jiaxu is without his parents today of all days. She can’t imagine not having her mǔqīn and fùqīn with her.  Ever since they bid each other goodnight, she’s worried about him going back to his hotel room alone. She knows he must be thinking of his mother today. They had flown back to Yihe two weeks ago, and left flowers at her grave. Jiaxu had been a little more morose on their way back, but she understood why.  

In the elevator, she pulls out her phone and calls his number. He answers on the second ring. 

“Wéi,” comes his soft answer. 

She hears it immediately in his voice. The soft heartbreak he’s been holding on to all night. She knows then that she’s made the right choice coming to him tonight. 

“Wéi, Jiaxu,” she replies. She looks up and sees the elevator almost glacially climbing to his floor. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping, Sang Zhi?” 

“I couldn’t sleep,” she tells him. 

“Why not?” 

She pauses for a beat, “Because you’re sad.” 

He chuckles softly, like he wants to laugh it off. But they both know she’s right. “I’m not,” he tells her nonetheless. 

“Jiaxu.” 

She hears him exhale into the phone, picturing him hunched over, alone in his hotel room. She silently urges the elevator to go faster. 

“Jiaxu,” she gently urges him, “it’s okay.” 

“I don’t want to be sad on our wedding day, Sang Zhi,” he admits. “I didn’t think it would hurt this much to not have them here. It’s been years now but …” 

‘They’re still your parents. You’re allowed to miss them as much as you want, whenever you want,” she tells him. 

“I know.” His answer is still too quiet for her liking. “It’s just today of all days, I’m feeling … it a little more.” 

He doesn’t need to clarify what the ‘it’ is. It is the absence of parents; it is a lifetime of loneliness that has only just been cured. It is the part of a family that he will never get back.

Jiaxu doesn’t get melancholy often and she knows their wedding has brought forth some of the things he didn’t even know he missed. But she wants to remind him, that despite it all, he is not alone. There will always be a family waiting for him on the other side and together they will honour, and miss and remember his parents. 

Duan Jiaxu is not without his family. 

“Didn’t I tell promise your māmā that you would not be alone anymore?” She asks him. Finally, the elevator climbs to his floor and it dings softly. She all but runs out, looking for his room. “Jiaxu?” 

“You did,” he answers slowly. 

“Are you not my family, Duan Jiaxu?” 

She hears the stocky intake of breath and knows he’s fighting back his tears now. “I am.” 

“We’ll miss them together. You’re not alone, Jiaxu,” she tells him. Holding the phone, a little tighter, she whispers, “It’s okay.” 

She’s standing before his door now and gives him a moment before she knocks. “It’s okay, Jiaxu,” she repeats as she knocks once more. 

She can hear the rustle of his clothes as he gets up. “One minute,” he says. “Someone is at the door.” 

Sang Zhi’s still got the phone to her ear, when he opens the door. His eyes are slightly red, his cheeks tinged with just the barest hue of pink. 

“Sang Zhi,” Jiaxu breathes out in surprise. Absently he cuts the call. “What are you doing here?” he asks as he leans out to look up and down the corridor. 

Before she can reply, he pulls her into the room. She kicks off her shoes as he guides her through the hotel room towards the couch. 

“Sang Zhi, what are you doing here so late? Did you come alone?” he asks worriedly. 

She smiles, reaching for him. He pauses and looks down at her. Sang Zhi’s fingers brush against his cheek and she can feel the dampness there. He doesn’t move away and she takes that as a good sign. 

“I told you. I couldn’t sleep. Not when I know you’re sad … and in pain.” 

“It’s not painful, really.” He tries to dissuade. 

“You’re missing your parents, Jiaxu. Anybody would feel the pain of their absence.” 

She is desperate that he understands this. So, she guides him to the couch, making him sit as she kneels before him. Her hands go to his face once more and this time, he closes his eyes, leaning into her touch. 

“No matter what, you’re not alone, Jiaxu. You have people that love you,” she tells him. “And your parents – your māmā and bàba will always be with us.” 

He pulls her closer, burying his face into the crook of her neck and she does nothing but hold him tighter. 

“Xièxiè Sang Zhi,” he finally says. He pulls back a little so he can look at her. Brushing aside some of her hair, he grasps her face in his warm hands, “for coming to me tonight. For knowing what I wanted even before I realised it myself.” His thumbs swipe across her cheeks as he speaks, “Xièxiè for making me a better man.” He tips her chin up, their lips the barest distance apart, “Xièxiè for loving me more than I deserve.” 

He steals whatever reply she might have with a soft kiss. He pulls her up and onto the couch beside him. He wraps his arm around her, tugging her closer and for the moment, they both sit quietly, watching the night sky. It’s a beautiful scene, she sees through the floor to ceiling window that his hotel room has. But it’s not the night sky she’s focused on, it’s their reflection in the glass. Huddled together on the couch, she can barely tell where he starts and she ends. 

“You know if you had been just a few minutes earlier, you’d have run into Sang Yan,” Jiaxu tells her. 

Sang Zhi smiles. She loves that her brother was there. That he probably guessed as much as she did that Jiaxu would be a little lonely tonight. 

“I’m just surprised he actually left. You know he’s been having difficulty lately, sharing you,” she quips and Jiaxu laughs. 

“He’s going to have to get used to it.” 

“Hmm.” 

She closes her eyes and she knows she’s never felt more at peace than in this moment. Jiaxu is gently playing with the ends of her hair. She can hear the gently rhythmic beat of his heart beneath her ear and if she’s not careful, it will be enough to lull her to sleep. 

“Zhizhi,” he finally says breaking the silence. 

She looks up at him, but he’s looking out the window. 

“It’s snowing.” 

She sits up immediately, looking excitedly out the window. She can see it too now. 

The first snowfall. 

She had been warned by a few people that having a wedding so close to winter would mean weather not ideally suited for a wedding, but the first snowfall had always been special to them. But she never actually thought she’d get the first snowfall on the eve of her wedding. It was almost too perfect. 

Without realising it, she’s standing before the window, watching the snowfall. She feels Jiaxu behind her as he wraps his arms around her, tugging her back so he can rest his chin on her shoulder. 

“I remember our first snowfall,” he tells her. “I was already in love with you and didn’t even know it.” Sang Zhi smiles as he continues speaking. “I am grateful for many things, but that first snowfall … that’s something special.” 

“It was.” She agrees. Looking at their reflection in the window, she catches his eye, “Want to make a wish? All wishes made on the first snowfall come true.” 

Unexpectedly, he frowns a little, “I don’t know what more I could wish for. I have everything right here.”  

There’s a warmth rushing up her cheeks but she insists. “One wish Jiaxu.” 

“Fine. One wish.” Without moving away from her, he brings his hands together at her front, like a prayer and closes his eyes. She watches him, still in the reflection and she’s tempted to ask what he wishes for. 

She knows what she wants. 

Him. Them. Together, healthy and happy for all the years to come. 

So, she closes her eyes and places her hands over his as she makes her wish. When she opens her eyes again, he’s already looking at her. Intently, and with deep seeded desire. She knows that look, feels it to the very depths of her bones and it always sets her alight. 

“What did you wish for?” he asks. He turns over their hands, intertwining their fingers. 

“I can’t tell you that, it won’t come true,” she teases. He pouts slightly and she chuckles. “What did you wish for?” 

“You,” he whispers as he kisses her cheek. 

 “You didn’t have to wish for that. You already have me.” 

He places another kiss to her cheek but he doesn’t move away. His lips move slowly down and Sang Zhi moves to give him a little more room. 

“I wished for you to be happy, always,” he murmurs against her flushed skin. 

“That won’t be too hard, not if you’re with me,” Sang Zhi says. “Right?” 

“Right.” He shifts her a little so he can look at her more clearly. 

She knows what he’s going to say, but she needs him to hear it first. “Wǒ ài nǐ, Jiaxu,” Sang Zhi says. It’s a soft declaration but it echoes beautifully in the quiet of their hotel room. “From our first snowfall to our last, I will always love you.”

 He grasps her face gently in his hands, pushing back her hair as he leans in closer.  

“Wǒ ài nǐ, Zhizhi.”  

He doesn’t let her say anything more, gently tipping her chin up so he can kiss her. It’s a soft kiss but when his fingers find purchase in her hair, as he pulls her closer with his other hand, it sets her heart racing. She pushes up against him a little more urgently.  

She’s breathless when they pull apart. Her fingers have twisted the fabric of his sweatshirt and she’s not ready to let go.  

His fingers are caressing her cheeks and she leans into his touch. Looking up, to meet his eyes, she’s fallen in love all over again.  

There’s a small mischievous little smile that is playing on his lips and she can’t help the breathy little chuckle that escapes her.  He teasingly raises a brow and she loops her arms around his neck.  

“I can’t stay,” she murmurs as he kisses down her neck once more.  

“Hhmm,” comes his response.  

She loses all coherent thought when he hoists her up. Instinctively, she wraps her legs around his waist. He holds her against him as if she weighs nothing. She giggles when he walks them into the bedroom and there is no argument to heard from either of them then. She impatiently tugs at his shirt and he drops her onto the bed, quickly pulling it off himself. Sang Zhi is all breathy little moans when Jiaxu comes back down to kiss her.

It’s the first snowfall with her first love on her final night before she becomes his wife. Sang Zhi could not have asked for a more perfect end.

mǔqīn - mother

fùqīn – father

Wéi – hi

Xièxiè – thank you

Wǒ ài nǐ – I love you

#hidden love #hidden love fanfic #duan jiaxu #sang zhi #duan jiaxu x sang zhi #romance cdrama #fanfic cdrama #must watch cdrama #chen zheyuan #zhao lusi #send me your prompts and I’ll write it #pre-wedding moment #post episode 25

[livingincolorsagain]

a’s sambucky master-list 2022:

(or mostly sambucky for the exception of exactly two ficlets which are gonna be added at the very end of this list)

ao3:

but baby i'm a fool for you

After several attempts at getting back in the dating game, Bucky bites the bullet and asks Sam for dating advice. Chaos ensues.

(Or, Bucky and Sam are dating, and they're the last to find out about it.)

(and to feel in the night) the nearness of you

Bucky stopped and let Sam’s feet touch the ground. “I’d never let you get hurt, sweetheart,” he said, too earnestly, and Sam looked at him, his wet hair sticking to face, his eyes that were as dark now as the midnight sky above them, big and sincere, full of love he never shied away from putting into words.

“I know,” Sam said, because he did. Some things would always remain certain; and like the sun rising and setting everyday, Bucky’s love would always remain real and undeniable.

You're my Calling (Cure my Longing)

Sam turns mid-sentence, gesturing ferociously at Bucky. The couple he’s talking to has big smiles that get bigger as he goes on, turning his back away from Bucky, talking with his whole body.

Bucky frowns and downs the last of his beer, debating if he should go over and join the conversation that’s obviously about him or if he should stay where he is, by the sidelines, watching from far away and–

Then Carlos is passing him and saying, “Congratulations, Bucky. Took y’all long enough,” and Bucky pauses, bewildered into stillness, but Carlos is gone before Bucky has the chance to ask what in the world he’s talking about.

the physical intimacy series:

i replay every embrace (just for a trace of you)

Every touch means something. Means everything.

and you touch me (and i'm like)

They both have their scars.

Some of them are marring their skin, touchable; a physical reminder of things they can never forget.

Others have left no trace.

But every scar has a story, Sam knows, even the ones you can’t touch.

When Riley fell, Sam wasn’t injured.

Like Heaven to Touch

The song ends and another starts. Sam half-turns toward the dancefloor at the first tone, the wine glass forgotten in his hand. He gets a look in his eyes as Frank Sinatra’s voice starts to fill the spacious room.

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

Bucky watches him for a moment; the look in his eyes is one of aching longing and wistfulness, as if the music has taken him to a different time and place. The look grows unbearably sad, so without thinking, Bucky asks, “Wanna dance?”

all that we do (we do for love) series:

(favorite choices)

(Bucky, Sam and the long, rocky road to parenthood.)

Baby Talks

Sam was just about done drying himself when he heard the giggles. Just like every other time, his heart bloomed, a love so tremendous and uncontainable filling his chest.

and i play it on repeat (until i fall asleep) co-written with @saryasy

“And for my last question, what’s next for you? Cap, you want to go first?”

Sam’s answer to this question has stayed the same throughout the day. He’s going to keep doing what he does best, fighting the good fight, protecting the people, and giving help to those who need it.

The thing is, all day, no one has asked Bucky what’s next for him. So, even though the way she worded it implied she’s asking Bucky next, Bucky’s completely blindsided when she turns to him and says, “What about you, Sergeant?”

There’s a long pause, Bucky’s mind blanking. He must have stared too long at the interviewer because Sam subtly nudges him.

So, without giving it much thought, Bucky says, “I’m gonna keep doing what I do best, watching Cap’s six and being an unpredictable, unstable human being.”

“That’s quite hot.”

must’ve been a deadly kiss (only love can hurt like this)

Sam imagined wedding planning was already stressful enough without fighting bad guys on a regular basis.

As it was, Sam was Captain America, and he had a job to do.

He also had a very disgruntled fiancé who followed him wherever he went.

romantic stylez (with a z)

“Oh, no.” Sam says, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s and leaning closer to him. “Tonight is very special for us. Y’see, James and I just got engaged and this is where we had our very first date.”

“Yeah,” Bucky picks up. “I’d’ve booked a table but I wasn’t sure he was going to say yes.”

“Aww, baby,” Sam says, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I was always going to say yes, you only ever had to ask.”

Bucky’s heart stutters in his chest as he meets Sam’s eyes, and he loses himself in the deep brown and the long, curled lashes just a little, only looking away when he hears the lady sighs sappily next to them.

(or, an undercover mission changes everything.)

Rough Surfaces

There was an inherent loneliness to being Captain America.

And it wasn’t like Sam had never been lonely before. He'd been lonely, he’d been alone, and he’d been lonely and alone, but there was something about this, a feeling so old he was surprised he could still feel it; that it still affected him.

That hollow silence that was once filled with the sound of life.

Figaro meowed and Alpine didn’t answer, and for a split second, Sam forgot. He panicked.

Then he remembered, and it weighed him down, an ache so deep it felt engraved into his very being.

And really, it was fine. It wasn’t like he couldn’t do this alone, he could, but.

He didn’t want to.

Mostly, he had started to believe he wouldn’t have to.

tumblr:

nightfall

one chance, tender, savior (and check out the steering wheel flower arrangement by @elektraking)

pet

bruised/kissed

you’re distracting

delicious/mystery

shimmer

transparent

mornings and nights (samstevebucky)

in dreams (samriley)

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #onlysambucky #samriley #samstevebucky #masterlist #sambucky masterlist #a writes sambucky

[mariposa666haruka]

The first smut I am uploading wooow

Pairing: Top!Vincent Phantomhive x Bottom!Undertaker

It is vanilla but lots of teasing and dirty talk haha

I actually wrote this for a darling friend of mine. Hehe

The howling of the wind was not the only thing that could be heard at the famous funeral parlor of London. One would assume it was another mourning family who had just lost a beloved of theirs and was making preparations to hold an appropriate funeral. But the sign on the door read "Closed" so there possibly couldn't be a customer inside. Knowing the owner, many could have said that there was a torture session going inside,

And not the owner actually crying..Why would the always so joyful Undertaker possibly cry for? He always made a point that he was quite carefree.

Not a single soul knew that he was in the woe of love; bottles already emptied of liquor lied on the cold stone floor and crys soon turned to sniffs, although tears went on flowing down his green iris eyes and as if they were hot burning lava he kept wiping them away with his long black sleeves.

"How unfortunate that the laughter....has disappeared" Weirdly enough his voice was not stained with the misery lingering in his eyes. He knew it was already time for him to pick himself up and put his mask back on, but his not-beating heart still ached, making him allow his old soul a longer time of living his sadness.

Grabbing his favorite buddy, the skull that always lied silently on his desk, he mumbled "Tell me, my dear, can a heart still break once it has stopped beating?" The skull reminded silent of course. How unexpected.

In the streets however, things were not so silent, fast footsteps running mindfully towards their destination. Their owner passed many people, but of course no one was going to recognize him despite his popular looks; after all why would The Earl Phantomhive be doing running in the streets at such day, it was his wedding day after all, he was probably just a relative, or at least that is how people convinced themselves in their simple minds.

The "Closed" sign was the last thing that could stop him at this moment, opening the door he barged inside, only to be met with the sight of his darling in tears.

"Oh, Undie-" "OUT"

His darling shut him up.

He could not help but chuckle, he deserved a hard slap for that, but he did not mind it as he rushed to his side, brining him into his arms.

"Didn't you hear me you primitive poor excuse of a man? You even have the audacity to let your laughter echo among these walls when I am here....." Vincent kept holding him no matter how hard he pushed him away, holding the back of his head, he brought his face into his chest.

"When I am here... being pathetic over someone like you-" The primitive poor excuse of a man shut him up, devouring his mouth as if he had been starved for ages.

"Vince-" The Undertaker had the enough power to throw him flat against the wall, but his hands disagreed for some reason.

Earl pulled back once he felt his darling relaxing in his arms. "My sweet death... would you slap me if I say you are being dramatic right now?" His voice had a touch of amusement.

"I would clear your very existence" His darling however, sounded quite serious, no matter how unusual was that.

Vincent chuckled again before kissing his tear-stained eyes, and brought his hand up to his chest, so he could feel his heartbeat, "This very heart belongs to you, my soul is yours to take and my mind would only be filled with the thoughts of you." Undertaker did not like how he knew that his lover was not lying. He infact, wanted him to lie, so he could shut his pain away, convincing himself that he was not his to have.

But looking up at his blue eyes that glowed like a clear pond under the moonlight, filled with a liquid called 'honesty' , he knew it was never his fault. He had proved his feelings many times, one of them being today, leaving his new wed bride behind for him.

The Undertaker's fingers, fiddled with his lover's buttons, wanting to bury his face into his neck. Vincent allowed him of course, letting him go as far as nibbling and bitting on his skin. He knew exactly what his darling was doing, he wanted to show that woman the he could never belong to her. She could never own him.

Vincent Phantomhive only was his to have. That woman may own his last name, or the title of his spouse, but his heart could never be hers. A side of him called his possessiveness pathetic, but he was not going to care about it at that moment. He did not mind being 'pathetic' in front of his lover, his oh so sweet and gentle lover that could never see him as anything but precious.

Picking him up easily, Vincent pinned him against the desk, right next to his skull buddy, returning all the love bites he had left on his neck and shoulders. Removing the attire off of his petite body was not hard, he took his time with it though, caressing every inch of skin with affection, giving his butt cheeks squeezes as his mouth worked on his hard nipples.

"What is wrong Undie? Not making much of sound today? You know how I love hearing you." Vincent playfully pulled on his now sensitive buds with his teeth, finally making him whimper slightly.

"That is it darling, do not forbid me of hearing you." He went on with his teasing, smirking when he moaned loudly as his fingers stretched his hole.

"You currently do not even deserve....mmhah... touching me.." Of course The Undertaker was too prideful to admit how he had forgiven him so easily, not that Vincent did not know.

"Should I be touching Rachel instead of my darl-"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT" It was high pitched scream at this point as the fingers inside of him had pressed his sweet spot.

The Earl had this annoying habit of laughing when his darling was being cute like this. He took his teasing further by rubbing his tip against his entrance. He clearly wanted to hear him ask for it.

"Put it in already, you wretched vermin" Undertaker had never sounded so desperate before, his usually pale face now flushed as he looked upon his lover.

Vincent felt his heart squeeze itself at the sight before him, he pulled him up into his embrace once more. "You know the rules Undie, mouth open, tongue out." His smug smirk could be mistaken for one of a devil's.

And so he obeyed, not putting up a fight like he always did. He panted as he opened his mouth, and the second his tongue was out, Vincent had his mouth over it. Sucking on his tongue definitely was one of his favorite intimate activities, but now he wanted to hear him scream as he did so.

Holding on his butt cheeks, Vincent pushed his length inside him, his darling letting out a loud muffled scream as his tongue was being held captive. Vincent wanted to keep tormenting him further by the slow pace he was having, but The Earl himself was being impatient at this point.

Undertaker's moans got louder the second Vincent let go of his tongue, only to go back to his neck.

"Vincent...mahh I am...close ..go slower" his lover did the exact opposite. "VINCENT" His lover only laughed. "Undie darling, hahaha you have to see your expression right now... that alone is bringing me to my edge." He lovingly smooched his lips, his cock twitching inside of him. "You know I am close too.. not that we are going to stop anytime soon I have to...mahhahaha, you just squeezed me so hard...are you happy to hear that...we will go longer than usual?"

"Why don't you try...ngghh shutting up for once?" And Vincent did as he said, bringing his mouth to his, moving his hips faster, enjoying the feeling of him moaning into his mouth as they both orgasmed together.

The pair did not stop at one round, Vincent stopped counting at some point, he was determined to give his darling the wedding night he deserved. Oh he wanted to actually marry him for real, instead of a noble woman whose only purpose was to give him a heir.

He held his sleeping darling against himself, holding onto him tightly, his fingers caressing his back and drawing hearts here and there; as both of the laid inside one of the bigger coffins, the lid off of course.

"Well it cannot be helped, guess I just can enjoy the moment I have with you."

#black butler #Kuroshitsuji #Vincent Phantomhive #undertaker #undertaker black butler #Vincent Phantomhive x undertaker #Maria writes ^^ #black Butler smut #Kuroshitsuji smut

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

The Agony of Desire

Part 8 // Masterlist

Warnings: just some teasing, nudity, talks of sex

~

“I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.”

― Margaret Atwood

~

"I almost went to you." You say out of the blue.

Billy's chest constricts painfully at the thought. He turns to you, in the rhythm of the rocking boat.

You're not looking at him, twisting your fingers and nibbling on your bottom lip. After breakfast, he'd taken you down a secret passageway to the hidden alcove of boats, offered to take you for a ride on the smallest boat in the fleet.

The boat had a transparent base, and an engine so quiet that it barely disturbed the sea life as you passed. You look down as a turtle swims gracefully by.

"When I found out about the marriage. I stood outside your building for a little, tried to build up the courage to go in, but I eventually left." You glance up at him for a second, his expression is unreadable, "I just, I didn't think you'd care enough, and I couldn't bear the sight of you laughing in my face." You smile wearily, giving him a shrug of your shoulders.

He moves toward you.

"I would never have-"

"- Yeah, I know that now."

He sits beside you, your eyes roam his exposed legs in the black boardshorts.

He raises his hand to cup your cheek.

"I'm sorry."

You give a little shake of your head.

"It's already happened-"

His other hand raises to cup your other cheek.

"-No," he says firmly, you raise your eyes to his finally, "Not that, I mean, I am sorry for that too, but right now, I'm sorry right now."

"Now?" You murmur in confusion.

"I can't fight it, I'm trying so hard to...for you. I know you need space but-"

He leans in close, your eyes close on their own accord.

His lips touch yours so gently at first, it's like a secret across your lips, your stomach erupts into butterflies.

You feel him shudder, leaning in until your lips are crushed against his.

You don't touch him, but you reciprocate easily, eager and aching for him so much you think it might kill you.

He lets out a low groan, fingers sinking into your hair and you can sense his control slipping.

Suddenly he jerks back, and your eyes blink open in shock at his sudden moves.

He stands and you think you can make out the hint of an erection before he's turning away from you, to walk to the edge of the boat.

"I'm going for a swim." He rushes out, tugging his shirt off and diving off the boat and into the cool waters.

You stare after where he's been for a long while, your lips unable to stop tingling.

Usually, you'd be eager for a swim, but today you're content to just bask in the warmth of the sun and the motion of the waves.

You can see a couple of more colourful fishes drift by, and you wonder about the business of fishes until Billy comes back, wet, and glistening in the sunlight.

He shakes his head playfully, splashing water everywhere, smiling at you. You give him a shy smile back.

"What if he finds us?" You ask, watching him reach for a towel to pat his skin dry. You think about licking the salty droplets from his skin.

"It's... very, very unlikely. None of the jets or transport or anything can be traced back to me, or you."

It begs a bigger question.

"Wait, just exactly how did you pull this off?"

He sits next to you, leans back and pops on his shades, grinning.

FOUR DAYS AGO:

"I thought you'd never ask."

Billy tries not to let his emotions overwhelm him when he kisses you for the first time in two years. He can't help crushing you to his body, eager and desperate for as much of you as he can get. He wants to convince you not to go through with the wedding, that you don't need to sell yourself for your family's safety, that he's right here in front of you, willing to do whatever you ask for a chance at forgiveness.

The knock on the door pulls your lips from his, but he doesn't want to stop, kisses his way down your throat, aches to hold you for just a second longer.

But then you're gone. Your words spearing into his chest and ripping him open from the inside. When you leave, he feels like an open wound.

It doesn't last.

The first call he makes is to reception, pretending to be your bodyguard, he instructs the limo on a different pick up point for you. While your real limo waits out front, his moves to the underground parking garage.

The limos are exactly the same, no one escorting you would be able to tell the difference.

The second call he makes is to Frank. Tells him to be ready, that he was about to start a war. Frank doesn't ask any questions, only affirms your parents' safety and hangs up.

The third call he makes, is to James Wesley, Fisk's right hand. Billy offers the debt in full, thirty million, plus an extra ten as a display of good faith. There's a long moment of waiting before Fisk accepts.

Everything kicks into gear.

Billy arranges hidden flight plans and alternative routes to throw anyone following off their trail.

The island isn't completely ready yet, and he has to call ahead to get his security system online as fast as possible, encouraging his software development team to work overtime so that everything is fully functional for his arrival.

He makes it to the airport a couple of minutes before you arrive, on the back of a rented motorcycle, waiting for you to come at him with every ounce of anger you have.

He tells himself that your rage is going to be worth it.

You lean back in your seat, letting his words sink in.

"You paid Wilson Fisk, forty million?" You ask quietly, "For me?"

He nods, you can't see his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"How on earth did my dad lose that much money? What did he do with it?" You say again, deep in thought.

"No idea." He replies.

You blink up at him.

"You- I- I feel like I'm somehow in your debt."

That makes him sit up, he reaches for your hands.

"Absolutely not. You're not in anyone's debt. If anything, I'm still in your debt. Keeping you safe is the least I can do after everything I've put you through."

You sigh, leaning forward to press your head to his shoulder, weary, after everything you've been through.

"Why?" You whisper, tears slipping over his skin.

"You know why."

You squeeze your eyes shut.

~

You look at him across the pool table. A friendly game after dinner.

As if friendly could ever be used to describe you and him.

Love?

Could he really love you?

He lines his shot up easily, you watch his casual attention to detail, you see the calculations running behind his eyes, and you don't feel like losing to him. You drop your hand to toy with the edge of your skirt, catching the way his eyes dart to you, following your small movement.

He swallows and refocuses, you pretend to right your skirt, rucking it up in the process, seemingly unintentional, exposing more of your thighs to his view.

He misses.

You smile.

"Damn Russo, you've gotten worse." You tease.

You only hear the rush of his breath in irritation.

You look smug as you bump your shoulder against his to move him away from the spot, bending over the table easily. You know that the base of your ass is exposed in the tennis skirt, and you make it even worse by going up on your toes and arching your back as you make your shot.

Sink.

You look back at him in excitement, his eyes darting up to meet yours, he smiles at you easily.

"You're awfully quiet tonight." You murmur as you make another successful shot.

"Nothing to say that you want to hear."

You cock an eyebrow, pausing your game.

"So you have something to say?" You ask.

"You want a beer? I want one, be right back."

He's gone before you can open your mouth to protest.

You stand in silence for a moment listening to his footsteps fade.

Billy's so hard he could cut glass.

What the fuck?

No, honestly, what the fuck?

How dare you bend over like that? Show him a glimpse of what he's been missing for the past two years- wave your perfect ass in front of him like he doesn't think about burying his face between your thighs on an hourly basis.

He hates himself. Hates that he's ended up on this path that has you laughing in his home and warming his bed and stealing his blankets and yet he still can't have you.

If he could say what he wanted to, without fear of you turning away from him, or growing uncomfortable, he'd tell you how desperate he was for a taste of you, how badly he wants to hold you close and hear you moan on his cock. How much he finds himself loving you, as if no time has passed.

He grabs the ice cold beer, pressing it against his heated forehead taking a couple of slow breaths.

How was it possible that he could love you so much after not being near you for a while?

What had you done to him? To turn him from a notorious playboy to someone that's genuinely content to just be in your presence?

He likes watching you be so happy, watching your face light up as you make quips at him. Billy figures that he's just simply appreciating your happiness, after only experiencing your fear and anxiety and anger for the last couple of days. He turns with a sigh to head back into the game room. Not having you was hard, but you were still his.

You're mine, he thinks tentatively to himself, and I'm not letting you go anytime soon. Even if I can't touch you.

~

It's like the silent treatment, his banter is half-hearted, he only smiles when you turn to look at him. He thinks you don't notice it but he looks so lost in his own thoughts.

It takes him a couple of beers before he's actually laughing and fighting back. You finally feel him loosen up and you smile when he calls you out on your strategies to beat him at pool.

"Of course I'm losing to you, I can't think when you bend over!" He groans, and you giggle in response.

"That sounds like your own personal problem, Russo. Get it together."

You lean in to take your shot.

"I'd get it together if I could take a minute and figure out how to stop imagining how wet you probably are underneath that short fucking skirt."

Your hand slips and you graze the white ball, it rolls an inch before coming to a stop.

"Oh? Is that what it's gonna take?" He asks, smiling at you as he steps up to the table, "I just need to get you all flustered for you to miss?"

You roll your eyes.

"That was a fluke, Billy, good luck getting it to happen again."

He knocks the solid yellow ball in, and then the blue. It makes a distinct noise as it crashes into the others.

You wait for him to line up the third shot.

You sigh, raising your arms above your head to stretch, letting out a little moan as you do.

It almost goes in, teetering on the edge for just a second before stabilising on the edge.

"Oh, you are mean." He complains.

You grin, already planning your next move.

"Is it really that easy to distract you?" You tease, bumping your shoulder against his arm again.

He laughs.

"It is when all I can think about is sitting you on the nearest flat surface and kissing your pussy until you come."

You swallow, looking up at him with wide eyes.

He squeezes his eyes shut to avoid looking at you.

"Every second of every day, I can't stop thinking about you. I want you so bad it hurts."

The words make you so warm, but it brings up uncomfortable memories too, like the way he looked when he told you to leave.

You take a step back from him, leaning against the pool table with your arms crossed.

"Then why'd you take so long to show up? Why did you wait till the day of my wedding to come talk to me?" You choke a little on the words.

He opens his eyes, glances at you apologetically, and then looks away.

"Back when we were together, someone put out a hit on you."

Your eyebrows raise in shock.

"There was an assassin- with your picture in his pocket. I remember finding it, and then all I could see was Frank, holding his family in his arms while they died, and I- I couldn't lose you, not like that, I'd rather you hate me than watch you die. I couldn't find the source of the hit, I didn't have enough resources or men that were loyal enough to trust. So I did the only thing I could- I ended things with you."

He swallows.

"I had a plan, get out, take down as many powerful people as I could, build a safe place for you, and then get you back."

"This place, was designed to keep you safe. There's so many sensors and algorithms monitoring everything outside, analysing boat patterns and running sonar checks every five minutes. If there's anything out of the ordinary, my watch alarms and I can get you somewhere safe before anyone's on us. But... this place was only finished and tested about a week ago. What would have taken five years to complete, I finished in two, and I did it all because of you."

You study him for a long moment.

"Did you ever find out who tried to kill me?"

He shakes his head.

"They'd covered their tracks by the time I had the resources."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, you put me in danger by being around me, but you can't let me go?"

He gives you a pained look.

"I'm sorry." He says, and you think he looks like he's on the brink of tears.

You still don't know how to feel, unable to process so many things, but you know that you want to comfort him.

You take a step toward him, wrapping your arms around him. It takes him a second before you feel his arms around you too.

His breath tickles your neck as he breathes.

"It's a lot to take in." You murmur against his chest, "And I can't figure out how to feel. But I'm here for you," You rub large circles over his back, "I'm here for you." You repeat.

You stay locked together for long moments, feeling his heat seeping into your skin.

"Are you tired of being beaten yet? Or do you wanna keep playing?" You ask.

He groans loudly in annoyance and you laugh.

"I'm gonna show you being beaten." He says before you're pulled over his shoulder.

You squeal.

"Russo I swear to god-"

Your words die in your throat when you feel his large palm clap gently on your upper thigh.

"Shut. Up. I'm enjoying the view." He says, as he begins moving.

You wriggle upside down, trying to escape his firm grip, you can feel your sweater moving up your ribs and you fight to hold it down.

"I'm warning you, I'll bite." You threaten.

"Uh-huh." He says with extreme nonchalance.

You tug his shirt up his skin, pressing your thumb into the spot where you intend to bite him.

"Last chance." You warn, but he only laughs, and you gasp when you see the door to the bathhouse come into view.

Oh, he better not...

"Russo..." You try again, as he pushes the door open.

You bite him harshly and swiftly on the back. He grunts in pain but doesn't let you go.

"Your cute little teeth can't hurt me, baby." He says with another clap to your skin, this time on the round of your ass.

You see him stop at the edge of a large bath built into the room, filled with water. Your struggling increases.

"Don't you dare-" Is all you can say before he tosses you into the water.

The water is warm, and you freeze for a moment and let your body sink a little before moving to a stand to glare right at him.

He takes one look at your angry demeanour and throws his head back laughing.

"How's that for beating?" He asks between laughs, watching you try to climb out of the bath angrily but your sweater is too heavy and weighs down your upper body.

You fight to tug it off. It clings to your arms and you grunt in frustration when it finally leaves your skin.

You flop it on the side of the bath before climbing out to face him.

He wanted to play games? Fine. You could play games.

He stops smiling when you reach for the zipper of your skirt. You tug it down easily, letting the dripping material fall to your ankles. Kicking it away with barely a glance.

You keep eye contact with him, tugging the straps of your bra down your arms next. You think he might have stopped breathing.

Your wet breasts pebble in the coolness of the air, but your eyes don't leave Billy's face.

He looks somber, his eyes roaming your exposed body, and you think you realise why he's being so distant.

His hands clench into fists when you push the fabric of your underwear down your thighs, he looks rooted to the spot, aching to touch you, but knowing that he shouldn't.

That's it.

That's why he's been so distant, so half-hearted around you. You think you finally understand it.

He's fighting himself, trying to give you the chance to decide what you want, without his influence.

How adorable.

You can feel the power going to your head. You take a step toward him, the vein on his forehead pops out.

"Nothing to say, Russo?"

His eyes are blown wide, exploring every inch of your skin as if he'd never see it again.

And still, he doesn't say a word.

You let out a small huff of amusement, turning away from him.

"That's what I thought." Is the last thing you say before you walk away.

Billy is genuinely surprised when you show up in his room that night. The tension is thick, and palpable and every move he makes feels like he's swimming through jello.

You, though, don't seem burdened by this yearning, you smack the edge of the bed and grumble and easy, 'move over, dumbass,' and he does so, swiftly, like the dumbass he is, watching you settle beside him.

He's watching the back of your head, and he keeps looking at you when you turn suddenly to face him.

"I've been telling myself that forgiving you is necessary... that once I forgive you, I'll immediately know how to feel about you. But the more I think about it, the more I realise it's not that simple. From what you've told me, it doesn't seem like you had much of a choice, with the breakup, with us, you did what you thought was best and we'll never know if things could have turned out differently."

He doesn't speak, curious to hear what you have to say.

You reach out, taking one of his hands in yours and pulling it to your chest, kissing the back of his fingers.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... thank you."

He says your name in protest, attempting to interrupt you.

"No, let me finish. You did something truly amazing. You found a way out of a bad environment, you made a safe space, you saved my life...several times, and I just want to say thank you."

"But-"

"-And," You stress, cutting him off one last time, "I know it wasn't easy, and you're an amazing person, and if you don't just accept the thanks I am going to bite you in your sleep."

That makes him laugh, and it in turn makes you laugh. He slides forward, wrapping an arm around you to keep you close.

"Okay you bitey little monster. You're welcome, and...anytime."

You smile, sighing against him, whispering your goodnight into his chest. His answer is a kiss to the top of your head.

.

.

.

A/N: part 9 isn't done yet, but you'll get it when I can 😘

#The Agony of Desire #billy russo #ben barnes #billy russo x reader #my writings #billy russo x female reader #the punisher

[thebiscuiteternal]

I have a prompt I'd love to throw your way for the jam:

MDZS/Untamed post-canon SangYao, another character (e.g. WWX or a snooping Junior) discovers that NHS has a little shrine/memorial nook set aside with JGY's hat, a lovingly painted portrait by NHS, and whatever other accoutrements strike your fancy (e.g. maybe a journal NHS writes in every day where he 'speaks' to JGY) that make it obvious the relationship SangYao once had. What they do with that is up to you, I just thought it would be fun (and potentially heartbreaking)

After thinking about it a bit, I've decided that I'm gonna set this in the same timeline as this one, so Jin Ling already knows that things between Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao were a lot less simple than everyone would like to believe, but he didn't know they were in a relationship at some point. Mixed canon, as per my usual.

------------

~ I suppose I should be angry. Would it be easier for you that way? For me to roar and rage about broken promises the way Da-ge does instead of hiding away in tears?

Well, I can't. Just like I can't say I never saw this coming. As soon as I saw you in the Nightless City, I knew I had been set aside for someone better and more acceptable in numerous ways.

Before I even fell for you, I knew I would never be good enough.

So I can't be angry.

But will you be angry with me if I am too ill to travel the day of the wedding? I promise to send extra gifts in my stead, and to try to send Da-ge in a good mood. ~

---

Jin Ling frowned as he closed up the letter and laid it back among the dozens of other letters and notes and drawings from Nie Huaisang that his shushu had been keeping in an unassuming little box hidden deep within the protected room where all his other most closely guarded secrets were held.

It was dated a solid two years before Nie Mingjue had die- been killed, but even though he didn't remember the wedding itself, he knew from records that Jin Guangyao and Qin Su had married after the murder and Nie Huaisang had attended as sect leader and representative.

Had he already tracked down any of Jin Guangyao's secrets by then?

Jin Ling doubted that. Surely there would have been more mention of him other than the guest list if he'd made a commotion, as Jin Ling had discovered many, many records of indescretions by assorted cultivators and outside nobles and merchants that could have been used as blackmail as he went through the contents of the room.

And some of them had been about Nie Huaisang. Jin Guangshan had found it almost disturbingly amusing to catalogue the apparent downward spiral of his hated rival's little brother.

So if there weren't any from the wedding... no, whatever had been going on then must have been genuine.

Knowing what he knew now from having talked to Nie Huaisang and read everything he'd found in the treasure room, Jin Ling could only feel an aching sort of pity for everyone involved except his yeye.

His shenshen, not having any idea what horrors were lurking behind her happy day.

Qin-furen, knowing what she was unwillingly allowing.

Nie Huaisang, newly brotherless and forced into the role of playing smiling wedding guest as the man he loved married someone else.

He even felt sorry for his shushu. It must have been miserable trapped under the weight of his mistakes and the what-might-have-beens.

Wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand, Jin Ling leaned back against the wall and let out a long sigh.

Unlike the blackmail records -burned- and the demonic cultivation notes -given to his shijiu- and a number of other things he'd already gone through, he wasn't sure what to do with these.

They were far too personal to just be put back on the shelf, and yet-

He considered possibly giving them to Nie Huaisang, but he didn't know if that would be an insult. The other sect leader had been surprisingly kind to him in helping him sort out his grief over several talks and exchanges of letters, and Jin Ling didn't want to wind up pouring salt in an old wound.

But it felt wrong to simply get rid of them, and he couldn't think of any better place for them to go.

---

Though he couldn't go anywhere he pleased with impunity like his shushu once had, Jin Ling had discovered during his visits that he still had a surprising amount of freedom in the Unclean Realms. Whether it was because most of the disciples and staff still looked at him as a kid, or because Nie Huaisang allowed it as a side effect of their personal discussions, he didn't know.

But he wasn't going to complain about it right now.

His original intent had been to leave the box in Nie Huaisang's library or somewhere similar, but then he'd remembered That Room.

The one situated in the same hallway as the sect leader's room and Nie Huaisang's old room, that his shushu had indicated he'd lived in when he'd been part of the sect.

The one Jin Ling had never seen anyone else living in even when he was small, not even the current second in command.

Hoping he wasn't about to get himself in deep trouble for snooping, he tested the door latch and found it opened easily, as if it hadn't gathered any dust in the years since his shushu had left.

Carefully, he peeked inside.

Though most of the furniture was gone, a hefty three piece writing desk and a cabinet remained.

At first, he thought they'd been taken directly from his shushu's office, they were so similar. But as he looked closer, running his fingers over the wood, he found a few differences.

The beast head of Qinghe Nie adorned the drawer and door pulls, for one. The desk was missing the place where he'd accidentally nicked it with a toy sword. The spots where Rusong had tried to chew on the edge while teething weren't there.

This, he realized, must have been his shushu's desk and cabinet when he was still Meng Yao. A welcome gift from his sect leader and young master.

And Jin Guangyao had had it replicated more according to Lanling tastes when he'd moved.

Oh... things really had been complicated between them, hadn't they?

Curiosity overtook him, and he couldn't stop himself from looking in the drawers and cabinets one by one.

A hat that he couldn't bear to see for more than the time it took to open and then quickly shut the drawer. A set of finely made brushes. Some fresh notebooks. A set of beautifully-designed green and gold robes that had likely never been worn.

A painting of his shushu, looking younger and smiling brighter than Jin Ling had ever seen him.

Other bits and pieces he didn't understand the meanings of.

And, finally, a carved wooden box.

Jin Ling found himself relieved by that particular discovery, knowing immediately what had to be inside without even opening it. Taking the box he'd brought with him out of the pouch he'd stored it in, he carefully laid it down next to the one already there.

Then slipped out of the little mausoleum-of-sorts back to his room.

---

Jin Ling looked up from his breakfast to find Nie Huaisang staring at him over the rim of his teacup.

For a moment, he froze, afraid he was about to get laid into for his nighttime sneaking.

But Nie Huaisang merely tilted his head in acknowledgment, then went back to his tea.

And Jin Ling couldn't help but grin before taking his next bite.

#mdzs #cql #jin ling #nie huaisang #sangyao #implied #fanfic

[writinggoblinslivehere]

The Retiree (Hero x Villain)

Prompt: You were once a powerful villain. You retired early and are engaged to a hero who isn't aware of your past. They are about to be killed right before your eyes...but you step in.

(I couldn't find the original prompt this came from, but I remember I found it on pinterest)

Content warning: blood, violence

He was all she could see. Lying in a pool of his own blood; the crimson puddle spreading across the floorboard. His eyes snapped to her’s as the bouquet tumbled from her hand. It landed in the blood that splattered by her feet. 

The heartbreak was clear in Hero’s eyes—he’d told her to run. He’d begged her. 

His voice was weak as he struggled to push himself off the floor. “Run, love, please. Run. Get out of here.”

Lightning arced across the sky behind him, lighting up the destruction around them. Just hours earlier the sight had taken their guests’ breaths away at the beauty. Now it was hard to see any beauty at all. Splintered chairs and shattered lights covered every inch. He had put up such a fight—defending everyone with everything he had. If only it had been enough. 

Blood soaked the ends of her wedding dress, but all she could see was Hero. The monster loomed over him, grinning. “‘Till death do you part.”

It reached down and pulled Hero up by his hair. He screamed in agony, twisting vainly to get away. 

“Run, baby, please.” Hero’s red-rimmed eyes never left hers, even as the monster poked at his wounds, laughing. Even as his face twisted in pain, his eyes never left hers. “I’ll be okay. I promise. Just go. Please.” 

A tear slid down her cheek and her soul ached. She was so close. Everything she’d ever wanted, and in that moment she could feel it disappearing like grains of sand in a too-small hourglass. After this, nothing would be the same. 

“I love you so much,” she whispered, tears now streaming down her cheeks. “I wanted us to have forever.”

He watched her, pain and confusion twisting his face, even as he refused to look away from her. “I love you too, baby. Now run. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” 

She took a step towards her fiancè, the soles of her feet sticky with his blood. The monster holding him shifted back a step to match. Her eyes never left his; tears streamed down her cheeks and her lips wobbled into a small smile. 

“You’ve made me so happy.” Her heart splintered and her chest caved in on itself. Her steps forward never faltering, even as the monster mirrored her backwards. “You were all I ever wanted. Even when I didn’t know it. I just hope you can forgive me when all of this is over.” 

Her eyes stayed locked on Hero’s as she summoned a hardened spear of wind. She hurled it at the monster holding him, catching it by surprise. Hero dropped to the ground with an aching moan before she could catch him. She desperately wanted to run to him, to hold him and ignore the rest of the world. But she couldn’t. Not until the danger was gone. Maybe not even then. 

The monster cradled its left side and she narrowed her eyes. I missed. I guess I’m out of shape. 

“You missed,” it hissed, echoing her thoughts. 

“It won’t happen again.” She lifted both hands: one to wipe away her tears, the other to gather her near dormant power. 

“You’re right.” Its chuckle sent a familiar spark of anger down her spine. “It won’t. I’ve gotten stronger since our last fight. That was your only chance, and you missed.”

A cold mask settled over her face, trapping away the fear and anguish in her heart. “Don’t be so sure.” 

Its grotesque features resembled a face as it sneered. “Supervillain told me to bring you in alive, but I think I’m gonna have some fun first.” 

Her lip curled. “I am never going back. I’ve had enough of her games. I’m done.” 

“You don’t get to decide that!” it snarled. “You swore loyalty to her. Just like we all did. You don’t get to walk away from that!” 

I already did. She didn’t bother to respond. Let it exhaust itself talking—it wasn’t leaving here alive. 

The monster settled its gaze on Hero once more. The predatory light in its eyes made her want to set it alight, but her attention was caught on her fiancè. On the look in his eyes. She could see the cogs working in his mind—he was working it out. 

A tear slipped out behind the mask. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. She couldn’t get distracted. Not now. Even if her world was crumbling down around her. 

“Supervillain said to bring just you, but maybe I’ll bring your little Hero along too.” The monster’s ravenous and burning gaze turned back to her. “She might even add him to her collection.” 

For the first time in years, she felt the familiar lick of anger burning through her veins. “Leave him out of this.” 

“Maybe when Supervillain’s finished with him, she’ll give him to me.” She knew it was baiting her, but she couldn’t help herself. She was going to rip him asunder. “I always enjoy new pets.” 

The mask cracked and her face twisted into a murderous snarl. “Your death will be permanent this time. I will make sure of it myself.” 

The monster launched itself at her with a grin, aiming its barbed limbs at severing her head. Using the fury burning in her soul, she sidestepped its lunge and called down the Hounds of Wind. An unearthly howl rendered the night sky apart as they rushed to her side. Without a beat of hesitation, they darted through the beast’s hide, splintering it into dust. It didn’t land a single blow as the Hounds of Wind scattered its particles into the stormy sky. 

It had never been her equal. She had been Supervillain’s second in power for decades. Few could make that claim. 

The Hounds returned to her side and curled against her in greeting. She stroked their swirling heads as she stared at the spot her old ally had stood.

“I won’t go back,” she murmured. “Send as many of them as you want, Supervillain. I’m never coming back.”

With a wave of her hand, she sent the Hounds scattering back to their atmospheric heights. Standing in the wreckage of their wedding ceremony, surrounded by shattered hopes and dreams, she closed her eyes against the anguish clawing her throat. 

“Who are you?” Hero’s voice was still the most beautiful sound in the world, even as it held the horror and betrayal she had hoped never to hear in it. 

She knelt down by an overturned chair and, with shaking fingers, picked up a broken photo frame. It was her favourite. As part of the ceremony, she and Hero had asked their guests to bring in photos of the two of them, something they could take into their future together. One of their neighbours had snapped this one of her and Hero on their first date. They had been on a set of swings, their heads bent together as they laughed at something private. 

They looked so happy and in love. Seeing it amid the destruction of her life made her hands tremble. 

“You know who I am.” She glanced up at him, her heart breaking all over again. 

From the way he held himself, pressed against the altar and as far from her as possible, she knew that everything she had come to love had been destroyed. Again.

“Villain.” 

The name sent ice through Villain’s heart; she nodded. She couldn’t breathe. 

“You’re supposed to be dead.” He tried to push himself up, but collapsed back down with a moan as his wound stretched. 

Villain reached out to him instinctively, and his flinch hurt more than anything else. She focused instead on picking up the rings where they’d been dropped in the aisle. They had been halfway through their vows when the monster had shown up. It had appeared behind the minister and torn his head from his body before anyone could react. 

And when Hero had leaped in to fight, the monster had stabbed one of its limbs right through his stomach. Before Villain could think to defend him. Before she could blink. 

“Yes.” 

Everyone had run, screaming, the ring bearer included, dropping the rings in their terror. Villain picked them up now, tears streaming down her face at the inscription. 

Hold my hand and you’ll hold my heart. Together forever. 

She hadn’t even gotten to wear the ring. Now she never would. 

“I tried to save you!” Hero was crying now too. “In our fight, when that building fell—I tried to pull you out! I tried to get to you but I couldn’t! I blamed myself! For years!” 

The admission ripped Villain’s heart out of her chest. She hadn’t known that. 

“Why?” he asked; that one word holding all the pain, judgement, anger and betrayal he felt. 

She closed her eyes. “I was tired. I just wanted it to end.” 

A/N: This is my first foray into the heroes and villains community, so I would love some feedback. Let me know what you think and I will absolutely adore you.

Also, please reblog. Likes are wonderful, but reblogs and comments make my soul sing.

Hope you enjoyed! See you in the next one! xoxoxo

#heroes and villains #villain x hero #hero x villain #villains and heroes #hero and villain #writing snippet #creative writing #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writing #writerscommunity #my writing #hero #villain #monsters #heroes and villains community #fantasy #angst #prompts