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pink-tea · 11 months

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Request for sub!ot5 wearing a corset in bed like🤌😵😵🫠🫠💘✨

i have no idea why i'd never thought of this before? it was a little hard since i've never had experience with corsets in bed (i need to change that...), but i tried my best !!

☆minors dni

☆ rating: smut

☆ tags: dom! reader, sub! txt, lingerie, corset, for the sake of my imagination txt will be wearing full sets of corset lingerie and not just a corset, feminization (wearing panties and linerie, use of pet names such "pretty girl" and "doll"), dollification?? not really (yeonjun and taehyun), panty use for soobin (panties in his mouth!! i forgot the word!! is there a word??!!!?), pegging if interpreted for beomgyu, pegging if interpreted for hueningkai

soobin

ღ i love soobin in red

ღ soobin who got the idea when a victoria's secret ad popped up on a video he was watching, making him pause at the sight of a model posing in a sexy black corset

ღ at first he's distracted by just how pretty it is, the lace and the way it hugs the model's body making him gape

ღ soobin knows he wants to work on his shyness, it's something he's been wanting to improve further, but lately he's been getting more brave with your praise and his growing self esteem

ღ fingers twitching before he finally thinks "fuck it" to himself, searching the internet for a pretty corset for him to wear

ღ he settles on a pretty red one, one that laces up in the front and splits off into a garter belt at the bottom, clipping onto red fishnet tights that come with the purchase

ღ the red fabric of the lace rose detailed thong that comes with it leaves little to the imagination

ღ soobin stares, worrying about how he's going to make sure his dick doesn't slip out before you can even get to touch him

ღ still, he buys it, and when it finally comes in he's ecstatic

ღ lays himself out all pretty on the bed for you, letting you run your hands and dip your fingers into the flimsy material of his fishnets

ღ he clings onto you when you have him pinned down onto the bed, going crazy because you're loosening the lacing on the front of his corset way too slow :(

ღ gasps and cries when you lick his bulge through his lace panties, the red already darkened with how much precum soobin is leaking

ღ he's so happy that he bought the corset lingerie when you push the red fabric to the side, going down on him as your hands take to pinching and bruising the flesh of his thighs that leak out the fishnets

ღ fucking him missionary or riding him, using the untied laces of his corset to grip on and force his hips higher into yours <33

ღ loves it when you call him pretty or gorgeous cause he feels pretty

ღ pull out your phone and take a picture of him, keeping the image of soobin in a slutty red corset, untied and absolutely ruined as your fingers fuck his mouth engraved in your mind and camera roll <3

ღ unclipping the garter belt, sliding off his pretty panties, wet with your saliva and his precum

ღ "hold these for me?" you ask, making soobin's eyes widen and his dick twitch

ღ always so ready to be lightly degraded yet praised at the same time, tears already starting to roll down his cheeks as you coo and praise him for how cute he looks with his mouth stuffed full of red lace <3

ღ "say cheese!" you grin, looking at the way soobin's eyes look so glossy and doe eyed in your camera lense, bunny lips too full to smile properly </3

yeonjun

ღ yeonjun in a dark blue corset top, the clothing originally part of an actual outfit he was trying out

ღ coming home to yeonjun staring and looking at different angles of himself in the mirror

ღ his makeup and hair is done, the blue corset clinging to his waist and giving him such a pretty silhouette as he pairs it with a short black skirt

ღ the corset doesn't reach past his belly button, giving a cropped look with the low cut fabric of the skirt

ღ he has the decency to copy the surprised look you have when you come into your shared bedroom, cheeks flushing pink when he finds you staring at his reflection in the mirror

ღ "you look nice," you hum, casual

ღ "thanks," he responds, fingers subconsciously finding themselves rubbing the lace at the bottom of his corset top

ღ and then when he blinks he's suddenly staring up at the ceiling, back cushioned by your mattress as you suck him off sweetly, calvin klein underwear long forgotten on the floor

ღ he's lifting his skirt up for you, knuckles white and gripping onto the fabric for dear life because you made it a rule that he can't touch you :(

ღ you switch to touching him instead, knowing that yeonjun won't last for long if you keep sucking him off

ღ plus, you wanna see him properly in his pretty little corset <3

ღ one of his legs is propped on your shoulder, ankle digging into your back while his other leg twitches occasionally at the slow pace that you're jerking him off

ღ "g-go faster, please?" he pleads, voice trailing off into a confused tilt cause he can't remember if you gave him permission to speak or not

ღ "you want me to go faster?" you ask teasingly, rushing the motions on his dick as the precum and the saliva from you making yeonjun lick your palm earlier mix

ღ "a-ah, wait!" yeonjun cries, hips thrusting upwards at the stimulation

ღ "i don't want my corset to get dirty," he whines, lips jutting up to a pout when you don't slow down your pace at his plea

ღ "hmm," you think, grin forming on your lips, "not even if i offer to lick it clean for you, pretty girl?"

ღ the thought of your tongue running up his stomach and onto the satin of his dark blue corset, cleaning him up along the way, is just too much for yeonjun's imagination :(

ღ with a few more twists of your wrist he's spilling onto his stomach and corset, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as little gasps "ah, ah!" fall from his lips and you keep true to your promise of licking his cum off him <3

beomgyu

ღ beomgyu, who like soobin, finally built up the courage to buy a corset off the internet

ღ he buys a black set of corset lingerie, a piece with a little lace skirt that flares out and a pair of solid black underwear

ღ he adds his own sheer black stockings to the mix, decorated with a little black ribbon each to match the one right in between the bust of the corset

ღ his tits don't fill out the cups of his lingerie when tries it on, but he keeps it like that, liking the way his nipples poke against the lace heart pattern

ღ when you come home from work, tired and missing your boyfriend, you're pleasantly surprised with the sight of him on the bed, sitting on his knees as the small skirt sits on top of his thighs

ღ he smiles brightly, giggling at your surprised expression

ღ "like it?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows even though he can tell you're literally 4 seconds away from jumping his bones

ღ "a lot," you respond, rushed in your attempts to get out of your pants

ღ the prep is rushed at best, lube coating your fingers and you wipe them off on the bed as you slide into beomgyu

ღ you don't even bother to go slow, knowing that your boyfriend wants the stimulation and dirty talk that comes with loving him fast and hard </3

ღ fucking into him, slipping your fingers into the little cross section in the front of the corset to act as extra leverage as you thrust into him

ღ "ah, fuck—shit, fuck," the profanities spill out of beomgyu as you pound into him, stocking-clad legs spread for you like a whore as your free hand digs into his thigh

ღ "bought this just for me, gyu?" you ask, suddenly snapping beomgyu out of whatever haze he was lost in to nod

ღ "thought—hah!—thought you'd like it," he forces out with a lopsided smile, one of his hands reaching up to push back the hair that sticks to your forehead

ღ you smile at the action, returning the favor and leaning down to press a kiss to your boyfriend's lips

ღ later, beomgyu will whine loudly and complain about the purple finger marks on his thighs, although right now in the moment his brain is only registering the pleasure of the pain

ღ he's bratty and he's a little hypocritical at times, but he loves you, wants to be yours to call pretty, wants to be yours to love and praise :(

ღ "i like it a lot," you admit fondly, pressing another kiss just in time to swallow the low pitched scream/moan that comes with beomgyu's orgasm as you hit the place that makes his head spin

taehyun

ღ taehyun who finds himself stuffed in a traditional, pink corset after visiting yeonjun

ღ taehyun who is also sent home in said corset, pouty and just a little angry because yeonjun refused to untie the lacings after doing them for him

ღ he knows that his friend is trying to get him laid, but seriously these things are hard to breathe in! his tits are suffocating

ღ taehyun who’s relieved to see you already home before freezing as you stare at his pink corset, not at all hidden by the unzipped hoodie he currently had on

ღ “babe please I just want it off.”

ღ “no yeah, yeah I can help with that!”

ღ taehyun who is now gasping and shuddering in your lap as the two of you sit on your mattress, face flushed almost as pink as the satin he has on

ღ back pressed against your chest as you sit back on the headboard, his legs are hooked over yours so that you can keep his thighs spread while you jerk him off with one hand <3

ღ your other hand is slowly untying the lacing on his corset, taking your sweet time as the garment loosens

ღ “this is a little difficult,” you hum, smiling at the strangled moan taehyun lets out when you thumb his slit

ღ "i-if it was easy, I would've done it myself," your boyfriend tells you, nails leaving a sting as they dig into the flesh of your thigh

ღ "yeah, i guess you would have," you respond absentmindedly, tugging at the lace a little too harshly and pulling taehyun closer to you

ღ "then again, it seems a little preplanned," you comment, "coming home to me dressed up in a corset, that is."

ღ "yeonjun-hyung, put it on me," he admits, yelping when you suddenly squeeze the base of his dick, pressing a small kiss to the back of his neck

ღ "don't say other people's names when i'm right here, pretty," you scold lightly, relishing in the groan you get when you bite the flesh you had just finished kissing, resuming the motions of your fist as well

ღ "s-sorry," taehyun apologizes, legs twitching against yours as they fight to close

ღ "it's fine," you forgive quickly, watching the way taehyun's body reacts as you continue to undress him

ღ suddenly abandoning both your current tasks, you lean up, hands going up to cup at taehyun's cleavage, pushed up by the corset

ღ "maybe next time you'll let me dress you up too," you offer, sitting up straight to kiss and lightly suck a hickey into the side of taehyun's neck

ღ he sighs at the affection, leaning his head back just a bit to give you better access

ღ "what, like a present?" taehyun asks, hissing when you remove one of your hands to teasingly roll your palm around his leaking tip

ღ "like a doll, just for me to play with," you correct, sliding your other hand down the loosened corset to play with tae's chest and nipple, feeling him flinch under your touch from the sensitivity <3

hueningkai

ღ hueningkai who doesn't think of wearing a corset until the stylists put him in a black suit, slacks, and dress shoes with only a white underbust corset to add color contrast

ღ however, the staff thinks it's too slutty risky, putting hueningkai into another outfit

ღ they don't notice the way he sneaks off set with the previous outfit tucked away into his backpack—corset included—after the shoot is over

ღ hueningkai who originally wants the corset to be a surprise

ღ dressed in his all black outfit, he’s struggling to tie the lacing on the back

ღ he ends up very frustrated, close to tears when he hears the front door to your shared apartment open

ღ wants to cry so bad because this was supposed to be a gift for you and he ruined it :(

ღ you walk into your bedroom, pausing when you see hueningkai sitting on the bed, head hung low as the white corset sits in his lap

ღ you’re not sure what the garment is, more focused on your boyfriend as you go over to him

ღ holding his face in your hands, kissing away the tears that prick at the corners of his eyes cause you know he doesn’t like to cry

ღ “what’s wrong?” you ask, voice just barely above the whisper as hyuka glares at the floor

ღ “wanted to surprise you,” he starts sulkily, lightly tossing the corset in his hands

ღ “couldn’t lace up the back, ruined everything,” he finishes, now rubbing and fidgeting with the lace ends in a way you assume is to distract himself

ღ it finally clicks in your head that he’s holding an underbust corset in his hands, a surprise, and your heart swells at the fact

ღ “i’ll tie it for you,” you offer, hueningkai’s eyes finally lifting up to meet yours

ღ the rest of your night goes on with you tying up hueningkai’s corset for him, albeit a bit slowly

ღ hueningkai, reduced to nothing but his black button up and the unfinished corset, sits on your lap reverse cowgirl style

ღ trying his best not to bounce on your cock/strap like you told him to, wants to cockwarm you and be obedient as you help him out, but he’s finding it to be very difficult :(

ღ tugging on the white laces when you feel hueningkai start to roll his hips down into yours, making him whine as the action makes his back arch

ღ “behave,” you scold, glad that the position doesn’t let kai flash his puppy eyes at you

ღ “you’re going slow on purpose!” he whines, letting out a strangled grunt when the next tug tightens the corset around his waist

ღ “ungrateful,” you mutter, feeling your pretty angel shudder on top of you when you thrust your hips up just enough to tease

#sub txt #dom reader #txt smut #sub idol #sub soobin #txt x reader #sub taehyun #sub beomgyu #sub hueningkai #sub yeonjun #sub choi beomgyu #sub choi soobin #sub kang taehyun #sub choi yeonjun

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pixiecactus · 15 days

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Sansa knew all about the sorts of people Arya liked to talk to: squires and grooms and serving girls, old men and naked children, rough-spoken freeriders of uncertain birth. Arya would make friends with anybody.

so i've seen this quote used in a "see arya is not an outsider" kind of way, and here are my two cents that nobody asked for.

for me arya being an outsider is deeply connected to her self-esteem issues... so in this badly written essay i will (just kidding i couldn't write an essay even for the life of me):

imo this quote is a passive way to show sansa's classism, yeah arya is a friendly little girl, that's true, but i take more this quote as sansa meaning arya's comfortable in making friends with "the lowest of the low". there's a reason why jeyne poole and beth cassel were only sansa's friends and not arya and sansa's friends. growing up in winterfell, arya's mother, her assigned teacher and her older sister and her friends told and showed arya time and time again how she's not an adequate lady and how her behavior as a 9 year old child is completely unacceptable of a lady from a great house. (which is a little hypocrate coming from someone who once was 12 year old "mud pie maker" catelyn tully)

hello "arya's self-esteem issues that people love to ignore", there's a reason why when gendry tells arya she looked pretty and ladylike (i know the phrase used is "a nice oak tree" but guess what my book copy is in spanish and here gendry says "un roble bonito" and bonito is directly translated as "pretty") arya thinks gendry is mocking her, because she believes only her father and jon would say something like that of her while being truthful.

for fucks sake, it gets even worse. arya was anxiously worried about her mother and brother not wanting her back because she had to survive in middle of a war, she had to pass as a boy to avoid sexual violence, which women, girls and even femme presenting people are the primary victim of, she had to kill in situations where it was "kill or be killed", she had to work as a slave, she's dirty and could be simply defined as a mess, completely the contrary of the idea of someone "ladylike" that has been drilled into her head by many people.

arya is loved by her brothers, smallfolk and the people that worked for the starks, but was made an outsider in her own homeplace because she's not good at performing the gender roles expected of her. nobility treats her as an outsider, just because this little girl is gender non conforming. arya is still growing up with low self-esteem with the feeling that nobody would ever want her except for jon. a feeling that was born of failing her obligatory "lady duties" and being bullied and mocked by this fact, by the very own teacher employed by her family and some family members alike. we have arya's own mother constantly comparing the child who excels at her tasks with the child that fails these tasks in an attempt for the child that is failing to improve, which is horrible methoding and only ends up with arya feeling even more inadequate as someone who is a member of a noble house.

even the "arya was clearly ned's favourite" is laughable for me, because even in the part where ned gives back needle to arya, and decides to indulge her with water dancing lessons, he's only doing this with the hope that this is simply a child's interest that arya will grow out of it, and she will finally have the realization that her only place in life is being a "dutyful lady wife" whose sons will be able to be everything she ever wanted to be only because they will be born with a cock between their legs, that's what he tells her. so there we have ned stark passively enforcing gender roles on the child that asked for the possibility of breaking gender norms while she's in a possision of power.

and having both parents telling her in one way of another that her behavior is wrong and not what is expected of her, this only reinforces arya's idea of how inadequate she truly feels, how she will never fit in nobility and how she will have to let go big parts of who she is, to comply with westeros's patriarchal idea of what a noble woman needs to be.

#well... here goes nothing #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #house stark #arya stark #and her sister her mother and her father #anti sansa stans #anti asoiaf fandom

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queenoftheantz · 1 month

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Top 5 Anime/Manga characters of all time and why?

oh wow hmmm....

Completely subjectively:

Oikawa Tooru (haikyuu!!)

Oikawa... he is just yknow. My Character. But I also often in my daily life have a little Oikawa in my head reminding me that my passion is my passion because it's fun and I love it. That talent and skill are intertwined but also not static or pre-determined, that I might not be as good as I think I should be, and I might never be, but if I don't try I definitely won't. Maybe I will reach my goal today, or tomorrow, or in 30 years. And I can do it at the pace and path that suits me. He speaks of all this AS WELL as the very bitter feelings that preceeds these revelations. I also really love his focus on facilitating others, of reaching potential together, of trust and faith in his team and their in him!

2. Marcille Donato (Dungeon Meshi)

Oh Marcille. (Manga spoilers here) Marcille started out so silly and to be honest? Annoying? Girly and anxious and squemish. But then you realise that these parts are absolutely true, but she is also determined and loyal and scared and unafraid and skilled. The firly and squemish becomes charming in contrast to her being excited to experience death and morally ambigious enough to use ancient magic or become a dungeon lord. And then you learn even more about her and her family, the way she grew up and how she probably is... pretty young, considering everything. The knowledge and life experience of someone being 40 maybe, but with the brain to handle it of a 19 year old... she is so afraid for everyone to die away and yet she cant help but love people! Isn't that lovely!? And as someone very afraid to lose my parents I really really feel for her relationship with her father. I think Marcille was a character who really illustrates the progression of tone in Dungeon meshi, represents the themes of the story so well, and really grew on me. Also gay. hi.

3. Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

I know people don't like this guy but he shaped me so much as a teen. I think his journey through lacking self-esteem and depression and self hatred is both fascinating, nuanced and in the end, encouraging! Imagine being offered to join humanity all as one, never feel rejected or alone again and then DESPITE all he has gone through, chosing to be yourself after all! And frankly I love that the show lets him be cowardly and weak and unsympathetic, it makes him more real and make his strong moments stronger. Also gay. hi

4. Mob (Mob psycho 100)

Mobs story is more low key, but I also enjoy a story about a young boy who FIRST has to find the motivation to improve himself, and THEN has to realise that improving yourself and being a good person does not necessarily mean to surpress any negative or strong emotions. Once again, a story about acceoting yourself, even the sides you have a hard time controlling and find off-putting or scary. And I think Mob gets to realise this in a silly and gently way!

5. Abe takaya (ookiku furikabutte)

Oh Abe. It's that one page. When he is explaining to Sakeaguchi his backstory with Haruna, and he is talking about it so casually, it's no big deal, but you can tell. "Everyone is afraid of pain". It makes my heart clench every time. It's his control-issues, his fast felling into caring about Mihashi as a person, but then slowly realising what that actually means. It's him being shocked by the smile, it's him doing anything to win, it's him not realising how mean he is. In a different story Abe would have been a bully. But fortunately for him Momoe and the team and Mihashi himself are not putting up with any of it and he slowly and also gently improves himself. I gotta catch up with oofuri. (also gay. hi)

Shout outs to: Hinata Shoyo (of course), Mihashi Ren (also of course), Edward Elric, Sophie (Howls moving castle movie), Reigen (im not immune), Tamaki (ohshc, sometimes i just think about him and hes so charming and fun and i relate), Kanamori (Keep your hands off Eizouken!, shes just. so cool. It's a fun show but every time shes on screen im blushing a bit shes just! Wow!), and the straight college student from one of my fave BL's who has to go on a personal journey to accept that he actually likes a man who's bigger and taller than him and has a big ass. Shoutouts to him too.

#antswers #Anonymous #recs

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doverstar · 5 months

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Please talk more about Jeff x Shirley please please

AND I WILL-

Shirley is comfortable around Jeff not only because she doesn’t have to feel responsible for his decisions all the time, but because she can be herself around him. In the foosball episode he tells her the few times she’s “been a little bad” have been the times he likes her the most, which makes her laugh and feel touched as he expounds on that. And my point with that is not that promoting someone’s flaws or wrong decisions is a good thing, but that Jeff enjoys Shirley as person both when she is trying hard to do the right thing and when she slips up, because when she slips up, he relates to her more. She’s not angelic, but she’s always trying to be as good as she can be, and that’s more inspiring to him than Annie’s pedestal and Britta’s ideals. So she can breathe a little easier around him because he's not going anywhere.

OH. And Jeff feels exactly as pressured into Shirley’s way as the rest of the group does when she’s being manipulative, but the difference between the others and Jeff is that he doesn’t melt or bend backward as easily because he’s a lawyer, so he knows what being manipulative is really about—control. He knows Shirley has control issues because he has control issues, and he has control issues because he’s scared all the time, and he knows Shirley has control issues because she is scared all the time, so he can stand up to her and talk to her like an equal when she tries to control him. He calls her out for being manipulative more often than anyone else, and when he does, she wakes up and has to think about what she’s doing and why, and that’s improvement. AND IT’S THE SAME THING SHE DOES FOR HIM. He changes his behavior for Annie because he cares what she thinks about him, because his ego can’t look at a person like Annie and allow her to think ill of him. Being part of her fantasies of a male lead is a boost to his self-esteem, and he’s very insecure. He changes his behavior for Britta because he A. wants to sleep with Britta, and B. because again, he’s very insecure, and if he can’t get the blonde to want him, or speak highly of him, what is he? It’s all about him him him him. And it rarely lasts more than an episode. The two other leading women have to literally whine and bully him into changing his behavior. All Shirley ever has to do is ask. And sometimes not even talk, just be herself. Have you noticed that? When Pierce tries to sue her over ownership of their small sandwich business, Annie urges Jeff to get involved, Jeff refuses, and Britta nods when Annie reprimands him. But later, all Shirley has to do is sit next to him while he’s reading, say hi, and he knows exactly what she wants. And he knows the way she usually starts manipulating: singsong sweet-talking, and he teases her for it, and when he calls her out and gives her a very cute gotcha look, she immediately drops the act, talks normal. He doesn’t say no, he at first maturely tries to help her with some peacemaking advice he knows she’ll understand (where was this suggestion when Annie told him to get involved?), but then Pierce is Pierce and it’s obvious he’s going to cause problems for Shirley regardless. Jeff hides behind his book and immediately takes the case for Shirley and she just giggles at him, it’s adorable.

When Shirley wanted Jeff to stop fighting a guy on December 10th, he did not let her tell him what to do (which is a rejection she needed to experience), and when he started talking to her like an equal, she talked back like an equal. She was mad at him, she kicked him out of her party, he went to the fight and the second he saw the bracelet she made for him on his wrist he decided Shirley was more important than what he wanted and threw the fight. Then Shirley (with the help of the group) decides to go and watch his fight, sees he is throwing it, and decides Jeff is more important than having her way and decides to back him (not my favorite episode message-wise, but super fun and the first time I think we see this ship flourish). When Jeff is representing Shirley in that case against Pierce, he’s given the opportunity to back out of her corner to protect his future career, and before he can make any decisions, Shirley considers Jeff and the potential consequences for him of helping her without any hint from him, and she tells him straightforwardly that she wants him to have what he wants, and she genuinely does. And he sees that. And Jeff does not have to be ordered to do the right thing or want the right thing or think the right thing, because Shirley already is, and she is there for him, and he chooses to do the right thing because Shirley did the right thing, and he cares more about Shirley than about himself. Without hope of anything in return, which is not how we are shown that he thinks of that kind of transaction when Britta or Annie are on the other side of it. When he insults Shirley by implying she never has anything he needs in Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism, all she does is look at him and he immediately backtracks and apologizes and realizes where he's wrong. Shirley doesn’t have to do anything or say anything to bring out the best in Jeff. She doesn’t have to intentionally try to fix him or flirt with him. She’s just herself, and she cares about him unconditionally, and who she is as a person inspires the best in him. Jeff cares about Shirley for Shirley, not for anything she can give him. It’s a choice, and it comes naturally to him. That’s closer to love than anything he ever does with any other romantic interest.

One of my favorite episodes is Anthropology 101 (specifically because of the implications for all my lil ships in the show) within the last big fighting scene for the group. Jeff doesn’t lose his cool until Shirley says “What is wrong with you, Jeffery?” and then he loses his temper. Britta has been playing with him, Annie literally punched him in the face (deserved it), and he does not rise to either, but when Shirley’s opinion of him is loudly expressed, then he starts yelling at people. It’s almost like the person whose opinion matters to him most publicly lowering is what makes him snap. Or something.

More: In Social Psychology, we see that they have the same sense of humor and they find it just as hard to enter into small talk as the other person does. In Origins of Vampire Mythology, Jeff expressly describes Shirley as someone he invites to do things with him that he is afraid to tell anyone else about (also says she’s the only one who really understands him). In Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism, not only is it revealed that they briefly knew each other as children, but they recognize that they both admire the other person exactly as they are now and that they can, as ever, be 100% safe with one another. In App Development and Condiments, Jeff calls Shirley out on being manipulative again, and she calls him out over his need to be the center of attention, and they both recognize aloud that they want the same thing for the same reasons: control, because they’re scared, and again they see that the other person gets them and can be a safe place. I could go on (about Abedison or TroyBritta or more of Jeff/Shirley or blahhhhh) but Tumblr legit will not let me write a lot in Asks for some reason, sorry! THANK YOU for the platform-

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notallangelsaregood · 1 year

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My thoughts on Spy x Family Chapter 79

So, as I've been more active on the SXF fandom and specially here on Tumblr, I thought I could make a short (spoiler: it was everything but short) post of every new chapter coming out. It's not really an in depth analysis, rather a personal view on the chapter as someone who is amazed by this manga and everything related to it, so let's go.

Quick disclaimer, before we start. I'm doing this in English, as I believe it's easier to reach out to others (rather than in Portuguese, my mother language), so, if you encounter some grammar or spelling mistakes, it's probably due to me being a bilingual mess, sorry about that.

I absolutely loved the fact that it was Sharon who noticed about Yor being more communicative with them (and it was her the one doing a lot of other things I will be mentioning here later) which really surprised me. It's really fun to see how the relationship of Yor and her colleagues are improving (and considering chapter 1 and 2, that was a hell of an improvement, specially Camilla).

Okay, I relate to Yor a lot. Mainly because I recognize someone with low self-esteem when I see it. And the fact that she believes it's a bother to be more communicative with others and apologized has got me, but I'm glad Sharon said what I was thinking (girl, you are a precious baby, why a bother?). It's also nice to see Sharon worrying about Anya.

This part is absolutely awesome. Sharon asking if Yor was coming with them, leaving Millie and Camilla surprised. It was definitely a first, as Millie said, so it got me even sadder when I realized that Yor was not at all expected to be invited, which makes me believe it's something that has happened before. And it happened a lot, her being left out by her colleagues. Totally breaks my heart (cause I believe Yor is a peanut and deserve to be protected, if you haven't noticed it yet), so I'm really glad to see some improvement.

I love the fact that she worries about calling Loid. Specially because she doesn't need to pretend for him, okay, sure, she wants to appear normal, to not be seen as an assassin, but with Loid her guard is getting down and down, which is very good (ship wise). I truly believe that her calling him wasn't for the looks, but due to her actually worrying about him or Anya waiting for her to have dinner. It's really cute.

She is so adorable, what the actual heck? Okay, moving on.

Someone pointed this out (I don't know who, I'm really sorry) about their drink glasses. While Yor has a quite small cocktail-ish glass, Millie, Sharon, and Camilla have big beer cups, which, again, is a detail. However, I absolutely love Endo's sense of detailing on this manga, to show Yor's weak for booze in subtle ways.

Yor immediately blushing after Camilla simply asks if her and Loid are getting along is pure gold. I truly believe it is not solely her drunk blushing (since it goes all over her face and chest sometimes, while on this she is blushing only on her cheeks). Then, Millie realizing it, puts more fire on it (poor Yor, yet go Millie, at least this time).

And Yor coming up with something that I value her for thinking about, which is a child perception of intimacy in her home, is awesome.

It's cute how she thinks that about Loid, it's actually quite cute. Something NOT CUTE is Camilla and Millie still thinking crap about Yor's marriage. Specifically Millie, she wants to tell Yor to dump her hubby, why tho? Is everyone in freaking Berlint wanting Loid? (can I judge them? Yes! But also no!). Girly Yor, I'm ready to be jealous and defensive for you.

Yes, Yor, he is absolutely perfect, he does everything. Can we, please, talk about the "why don't you take a hot bath?" part? No? Overreacting much? Okay.

Please, Yor, no one believes you hate everything about Roid. Opsie, Loid. It's pretty much the opposite, actually. Who are you trying to fool, girl?

I believe this bit is self-explanatory. I laughed so much my tummy hurt. No much else to say here. The incoherency of Yor's drunk mind had me rolling.

LOOK. AT. THAT. MAN! Woof. Is this how Loid is 24/7 on Yor's head? Cause, girl, I'm worried about you. Truly. Other than that, can we please talk about how comic is her with that knife? How non-threatening it looks? (I mean, kinda, look at those eyes).

No comment, they are being so nice here. I'm surprised by Millie, mostly. They can be good friends, it just takes a while and more intimacy to be built around them, I believe, hope I'm not wrong.

Poor Yor, not even a welcome home kiss? That's a valid statement, Sharon. You rock! Sharon is the number 1 twiyor fan and nothing can change my mind about it.

Her mind is so fried. Again, poor Yor!

Too many things happening here! First, Yor's colleagues recognizing she is actually fun to be around and probably Sharon suggesting that they should invite her out again some time. I'm truly happy about the end of this chapter, her co-workers wise, because It's such a big improvement. Yor would not communicate with them, and they would be so bitter with her (specially Millie and Camilla). Look how far we've got! That's some major improvement and I'm proud.

Now, to the most important thing ever of this chapter, the kiss attempt! Okay, a little before that, when Loid asked if she had a good time. Am I overreacting to the bare minimum, or there is something else about him? He is so adorable and such a great husband (for the mission). Look at that confused little face.

I bet all the 25 cents I have that Endo was cracking up drawing this face. I laughed way more than I should, oh, poor Yor

It's been 79 chapters, my folks, and we got a tiny bit of happiness. They are so adorable! Look at them? Kiss NOW. One thing I noticed is how big Loid is compared to Yor, look at his body, at that hand size difference. That's… Quite nice, it's all I'm going to say about it. (Is it hot in here? No? Okay).

The second bar is up and rising!

Even though Yor has a tremendous high tolerance to pain, I would not be surprised If she woke up to a big bulge in her head in the morning. And worse, probably she won't even remember a thing, which takes us to the scale zero again. Damn it, it's hard to see these two idiots realizing they are so in love for each other. However, this chapter was all my heart needed. We begged for twiyor, Endo laughed at us and prolonged our suffering. I want more of that, sir, if you don't mind.

My hope is Anya bringing up this on the breakfast morning. That would be quite interesting.

That's all, folks. It ain't much, but it's honest work. This turned out to be way longer than I expected, but also incredibly fun! Hope you guys had fun reading as well.

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kolachess · 1 year

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Star Struck - Explaining the conflict and cultural nuance

Those of you who have seen the Korean BL, Star Struck, probably thought it was a(nother) mediocre school BL. In a year with more and more BLs from South Korea (yay!), it might have been an easy pass.

BUT, if you’re like me, you will have really, really appreciated the refreshingly realistic taste of a friends-to-lovers dynamic, complete with a conflict that is not just over one-sided or mutual dislike of each other for once! (Which is not to say I didn’t love the BLs that had that... they’re all great. But I do think expanding scope is always admirable!)

I realized that part of the reason why what seemed to me a rather thoughtfully constructed set of characters and plot development comes across as plain boring to many others might partially be a cultural nuance issue.

So, here’s my attempt to bridge that gap and give it a little more credit than it got (at least, so far). Of course, that’s not to say I think this drama is perfect... I do think a lot of pacing / editing could have done with some improvement. And at the end of the day... it is a coming of age sort of school drama, so it’s not going to be crazy complex. And I’m also writing this after episode 4, so there will be spoilers through episode 4.

Disclaimer: I am not Korean, nor did I grow up in South Korea, so I definitely do not have complete authority on this subject matter. However, I feel like a lot of what was happening in Star Struck might have been... unfairly overlooked or otherwise not understood by audiences who are less familiar with Eastern Asian cultural values, so as a Chinese American, I wanted to do my best to add a bit of perspective.

So. What is the root of SHJ (Seo Hanjoo) and JYJ (Jo Yoojae)’s conflict?

Certainly, SHJ’s (seemingly) one-sided crush on JYJ and JYJ’s reactive jealousy is a large part of it, but the other big part is a newfound wealth gap and how that translates into what esteem they hold each other in.

From the get-go, we can tell SHJ is very (self-)conscious about money. He knows how hard his mom has to work, and he feels guilty and early on already tries to justify to himself (and others) that some costs, like the cram school he saved up to attend, are not worth it. He’s too prideful to honestly mention his money troubles to anyone.

Although SHJ doesn’t know JYJ’s rich yet in this scene, JYJ’s financial circumstances still was better off than SHJ’s. But he’s clearly uncomfortable with the idea of his best friend paying for him like that. And here’s where I’ll do some cultural breakdown.

In East Asian culture, the collective identity comes first, and the individual comes second. Meaning, people take more pride in what school they graduated from, what company they work for, what their family background is, more so than people in many other cultures. I’m not talking school pride like, ‘I’m proud to be a <insert school mascot>!’ kind of spirit. I mean that everyone in your life, in society, will measure your worth first and foremost (and often only) by the primary institution or family background you came out of. And with SHJ’s sort of background - poor, single-mother - that’s a big stigma. He’s still a rational human being though, so at least he doesn’t blame his poor mother for their circumstance (which some kids do, given all the pressure of society). But that all said, this clearly weighs on him - how his lack of money reflects on him. And if money is viewed at all similarly to how it’s viewed in China... it’s basically a measure of your capabilities and standing in society. The inability to be generous with your money is ‘losing face’ i.e. embarrassing. And so... yeah. It’s a lot of ‘dings’ in SHJ’s social profile. The kid is understandably a bit self-conscious, though he clearly tries to not let it get to him.

Fast forward to when he finds out JYJ is now ‘rich’... Obviously, he’s upset at not being told because they’re supposed to be close friends. However, he’s clearly super self-conscious about being seen as someone who’s that sensitive about money. Notice how he hasn’t actually commented / asked about JYJ ‘moving out’. (Note: I wasn’t 100% sure if this carried the implication that JYJ might be moving away, but the text message made it sound like that? Correct me if I’m wrong.) He immediately assumes JYJ didn’t tell him because he’s pitying him or otherwise worried about how he’d react because of how it involves money. And he hates that. (Which... he’s not totally wrong about. JYJ might not pity him like how SHJ is thinking, but he definitely worries a bit about how SHJ will perceive things, and it becomes this death spiral of misread intentions.)

And of course JYJ starts to comment on SHJ’s family, which just confirms all of JYJ’s worst fears. He suddenly ‘realizes’ that his best friend who he has a crush on actually walks on eggshells around him because of his money situation, which is a blow to his self-esteem, because what does that mean? That there’s a meaningful gap now in their social status and JYJ looks down on him and just never said? That JYJ sees SHJ as too delicate to be able to handle this new reality? (His insecurities and perspectives, not necessarily what JYJ thinks, of course.)

It’s like having a close friend say something that makes you suddenly wonder if they were actually judging you this whole time, and your mind goes into overdrive analyzing every past interaction you’ve had and reading in between the lines to see if you were actually blind all this time. To SHJ, who is already a bit self-conscious about all of this... it’s a major blow. And although he says he’s only ever felt inconvenienced by his poverty... I’d say he’s being a bit dishonest with himself. Again, he’s clearly not the shameful type to blame his poor mother, but he clearly has trouble admitting his circumstances to even his closest friend.

Meanwhile, for JYJ...

...the guy is clearly struggling too. He obviously cares for SHJ and extremely mindful of his money situation, hence previously wanting to just pay for SHJ at the cafe. However, he also doesn’t want to hurt SHJ’s pride even more, so he ultimately still tosses his pair of perfectly good shoes he no longer wants despite wanting to give it to SHJ.

Once SHJ cools down a bit, and JYJ extends the olive branch, they both apologize to each other and come to an understanding. However, as is with a lot of human emotions... getting over it in the moment does not necessarily mean getting over it for good if you haven’t addressed the inner demons that spawned these bad feelings in the first place. And it’s not long before we see another issue pop up.

At this point, SHJ has had to move into the side house (and hides it from JYJ). He finds the Gucci receipt in the pocket of the jacket JYJ lends him, and JYJ immediately tries to wave it off saying it was pretty much something his mom made him buy.

He’s clearly worried about SHJ feeling bad again. He definitely doesn’t seem to care for the materialistic things as much as his parents seem to, and he even seems a bit embarrassed by it. So when SHJ brings up his big new house, he immediately tries to make light of the situation by joking about how indeed, the one good perk is that he can no longer hear his parents fighting. So that’s clearly another thing that weighs on him. SHJ is seemingly rather sensitive to JYJ’s money situation, but JYJ doesn’t really want anything to do with it at all. And the thing he really wishes could be new and shiny - his family’s relationship - is not something their newfound money could buy. In fact, it’s possible he’s even a little envious of JYJ for having such a caring mom.

Later, when he finds out SHJ has moved into the little side house / shack, he’s understandably upset that his best friend had chosen to hide this from him, that he didn’t see JYJ as understanding enough to be honest with him. He obviously also aches for SHJ’s circumstances.

Gift-giving is a big part of East Asian culture, but there’s casual gifts between friends, and there’s gifts between everyone else. When you’re gifting gifts to someone less close, you definitely don’t want to go for things too cheap, so people tend to skew for expensive and unnecessary things because it’s part of social gestures and having ‘face’. While well-intentioned, sometimes receiving (and continuing to receive) gifts, especially more expensive ones, can make the receiver feel like they have to reciprocate in kind and continue to stand on ceremony or otherwise have this formal distance between the other person. It’s a big game of chicken sometimes, but some people’s ‘face’ won’t allow them to take a more casual, intimate approach first. This is not the main reason why JYJ gets upset of course, but it is an element.

All that compounded - he’s hurting already on SHJ’s behalf, yet his best friend seemingly doesn’t trust him enough and still tries to save face. And what’s worse, SHJ seems to think JYJ is materialistic and chases expensive things, when that couldn’t be farther from the truth - he dgafs about this kind of stuff. So to have his best friend essentially woefully misunderstand his character, continue to hold him at arm’s length / treat him with non-intimate courtesy, make sacrifices that hurt himself to give JYJ something that makes him seem materialistic and puts even more distance between them due to their economic gap... he’s pretty hurt and furious.

Of course, in reality, while SHJ not telling JYJ might be partly due to his pride, the expensive gift was purely because he was crushing hard. And cue the confession tumbling out.

So actually, I feel like there was a wonderful build-up of their tension, oriented not entirely on SHJ’s romantic feelings towards JYJ, but a very real issue between two people compounded by the complexity of romantic feelings.

Although I grew up away from the frontline influence of these sort of social gestures and expectations, it was still a big part of my upbringing. And I feel the agonizing indecisiveness over what to say, how to react, etc. You read intention into every gesture and word, because that’s how Asian culture operations.

I was rather surprised to see people comment that this drama was boring, but upon analysis, I did consider that part of it might be because a lot of this tension goes over the audience’s head if you weren’t brought up in that context. What seems like beautifully nuanced dance of well-intentions-turned-sour might come across as a jumbled mess of ‘being upset over unnecessary secrets’. That, coupled with some abrupt scenes that might not be tied in too smoothly, might have led to a lower evaluation.

Or it’s just my bias for a non-romantic-feelings based tension haha.

Anyway... curious what others think!

#star struck #seo han joon #jo yoo jae #kbl #korean bl #스타스트럭 #yoojae x hanjoon #jo yoojae #seo hanjoon #spoilers

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whinlatter · 11 months

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Hello! I just read the latest chapter of Beasts and I am, once again, blown away by your skill. I don’t usually read fics in the HP fandom (not sure why, to be honest- there are so many good ones!) but yours are far and away my favorite of the works I have read. (Re: Beasts, I would like to note that your portrayal of Hermione is dead-accurate and delightfully layered. I appreciate the kindness with which you write her, as neither a saint nor a monster— just a deeply traumatized teenage girl.)

I’m not sure if you dispense writing advice on here— if not, feel free to ignore the following— but if you are, I would love some pointers! I’m sure part of it is my anxiety talking, but I find whatever I write to be irritatingly juvenile. You do such a wonderful job of bringing nuance to your works, and I’d appreciate any guidance you have for amateur writers looking to take their fics to the “next level,” so to speak. Also, on a broader level, any tips you have about nailing characterization would be very welcome. I know the ultimate answer to my questions is simply “time and practice,” but I have a genuine desire to improve, and I figure there’s something I can do to hurry the process along.

In the interest of not wasting your time, I’ll wrap it up here. Many, many thanks!

Oh man, I’m blown away by this comment, are you kidding me? Thank you so so much. You really don’t know how much that means to hear (saving this to look back on on a rainy low self-esteem day).

On writing advice... I'm always a bit hesitant about offering writing advice, even though I have benefited so so much from other people’s advice over the years in lots of different ways (probably because I suspect few of us ever really see our own work very clearly). This is also sort of hypocritical of me because I literally teach (non-fiction) writing as part of my job, lol, but maybe this is my imposter syndrome syndroming.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about this question since you sent this, and wanted to say something that might be useful. I actually ended up going back to the (very bad) fanfiction I wrote about 15+ years ago for another fandom (I will not be linking this here lmao), to see what I do differently now and what I’d gotten better at. This was both a very unsettling but also very cathartic process, lol, because I think I’ve gotten a lot better since then (though, truthfully, it couldn’t have gotten much worse).

So, having done that, I’ve tried to put some writing advice and reflections and thoughts below that I think I’ve learnt since I first started writing and that I feel I’ve found out the hard way (by getting it wrong first time around). My points below are more ‘what I admire in other people’s work and ‘what I would like my writing to do’ rather than me thinking I do all these things well all the time, especially on the nuance and characterisation questions. Some are going to sound super obvious but I definitely did not know them once and have definitely had to work to learn all of them, so I really hope they’re useful to you all the same.

Having now sat down and read my truly truly dire past fanfiction (which has a lot of reviews on it telling me, in no uncertain terms, how and why the work sucked), I think these are the things I wish someone had told me or the things I've learnt after a long long time of getting it extremely wrong...

Writing should answer a question, or a series of questions. I think the big shift from the fanfiction I used to write is that I would start from the premise of ‘I want to write these two characters in X setting’ or ‘I want to fill in Y missing moment’. It’s not that these are bad premises - often, fic ideas start this way - but there needs to be a step after this idea before the writing happens, which is the ‘what question would this answer and what would the answer be’. To give an example, for Orchards I always wanted to write a Harry/Ginny summer teenage love story, but I never really thought of it as answering a question, and so every version I could imagine doing of it was unsatisfying. It was only when I realised the question I had was how does someone fall in love and not realise it (and, I guess, and what do they do when they’ve realised it too late?) that I was like ohhh ok, the fic needs to answer that question, and the conceit is how do we get from A (not being in love) to B (falling in love, but not knowing it) to C (knowing it, and being tormented by knowing it). The later layers the fic took on and that I now like so much - flashbacks, use of the future tense to switch to a period where Harry knows he’s in love but can’t do anything about it - all came after that realisation, and I think the fic is more satisfying for me as a writer because it answers a question I had always had in the back of my mind but hadn’t made conscious.

Show, don’t tell - so, signpost, but give the reader credit. Work that I really admire and take the most from is work that doesn’t beat the reader around the head with the point of each scene. You don’t need to tell the reader how x character is feeling. ‘Ginny felt angry because she thought Hermione was being dismissive of other people’s feelings’ - that’s a note to yourself as a writer more than it needs to be expressed so obviously written to the reader. On a first draft, maybe you need that line to be written out as you figure out how characters are feeling in that scene - that’s completely fine. But as you edit, think of ways you can show that kind of emotional response without coming out and straight up saying it. Try to cut lines that state emotional responses so starkly and jarringly, because they take the reader out of the flow of the scene. How might Ginny as a character show she’s pissed off in ways that are legible to the reader (especially a reader of fanfiction, who is familiar with her)? How can we show Hermione being dismissive (not making eye contact, for instance, or saying curt, dismissive statements that shut down the conversation). This relates to the next point which is…

Make the setting work for you - or even let it be a character in its own right. It’s rare in any form of fiction writing that the setting or the activities around characters are incidental. This is especially true for HP, where the author uses the setting throughout to both build a sense of atmosphere but also parallel/symbolise the dynamics of the scene at hand, like little winks to the reader. The weather is often the most obvious way of doing this. As the author, you play god - the weather is exactly what you want or need it to be to best serve the scene. That doesn’t mean necessarily happy scene has to = sunny, or sad scene = rain,, but it could mean torrential rain = huge release of something pent up that’s been building for hours (think of the rain pounding on the tent when Harry and Ron have their screaming match in DH - it’s like a fourth character in that scene), or too-hot sun = rising pressure, huge discomfort, feeling prickled and angry and trapped with no shade (think of Harry at the start of OotP, in the heatwave). It doesn’t have to be weather, either. If you want to show how a character is guarded, struggling to let another character in, why not have them have the conversation hovering in a doorway, with the door partly closed? If you want to write a scene where two characters are thinking about their future together and really getting somewhere emotionally, why not have them have the conversation in a moving car, heading towards a meaningful destination (you could even have the instigator of the conversation in the literal driving seat, if you want to suggest dynamics of control or maturity). These are just examples, obviously, but the writing I really admire does this so well (and rewards re-reads for that reason).

Find a motif or a hook. This is more a personal preference, but I love reading pieces of writing that have a clear framing. The post-war summer fic I’ve been working on for nine thousand years lol only really started coming quicker once I finally found a conceit - an image, really - that worked for me (the fic is called Rubble, and the conceit is: how do you literally build a house that is a family home, as a way of thinking about rebuilding after the war, told around the Weasleys as a family). For Orchards, there are a few motifs: ‘the truth’ as a character; ‘truth or dare’ as a game, but also as a metaphor for Harry and Ginny’s early love story, and Quidditch (love is a quaffle). In Beasts, I have motifs and hooks that I hope to stretch over the entirety of the fic, not least this idea about beasts and beings and the hubris and the monstrousness of the wizarding world - I wanted to write a postwar fic for a long time, but I didn’t have a conceit that allowed me to get at the type of story I wanted to tell for ages. Within each chapter, I also like to have a little motif: so chapter two it was ‘coming back’, chapter three it was sleep and dreams, chapter four it was the soul/what makes a person who they are, chapter five was the sea. Some of these were more successful than others lol, but it helps me to fashion and discipline a piece when writing and when editing/cutting to think: everything in this piece, in some loose way, needs to link back to this theme I’m trying to thread through.

Make sure people sound/think/behave like people. I’ve put points specifically about characterisation below, but this is a more general point: characters shouldn’t sound like generic talking points, they should sound like real people putting together sentences. I think in fanfiction writing, because we often want to resolve flaws in characters, write about characters we love and admire, or want them to have the difficult conversations or hard confessions that they don’t do in canon, we sometimes can both idealise them and make them sound like very self-aware consistently compassionate angels who are experts at expressing exactly how they’re feeling in extremely emotionally healthy and communicative ways. It would be nice if our characters all did that, sure! But what makes for immersive, compelling writing is when characters try and struggle and fuck up and live their flaws, and sound like real living breathing failing growing people.

You probably need to lose the last line. The last line of a fic is important, but sometimes you can lose a reader who’s been with you the whole time with a clumsy last line or one that’s excessively cheesy or overly summarising or just seems like an afterthought because you wrap up. I say this as a real mea culpa because I still suck at last lines, but the best advice I have gotten on this is, if in doubt, cut the last line you were going to go with, lol. Let the scene end without the line you think is a great summative profound line or something reassuring or overly comforting for the reader. I am definitely still learning this (the end line of chapter four of Beasts I’m still considering cutting or editing severely lol - it’s too on the nose for my taste, and I don’t love it), but the last lines I do like most are always the most minimalist, sparse, simple, or even abstract. basically - if it sounds like chat gpt could write your last line (chat gpt loves an on-the-nose happy ending - eg. ‘Hermione knew it was all going to be ok after all’) then go back to the drawing board.

Embrace critique. This is a very subjective one, especially for writing fanfic. Writing fanfic is a rich and rewarding hobby but I recognise that it is a hobby and a source of pleasure, so lots of people prefer not to get constructive critique. I’m actually being a bit hypocritical here as I don’t currently have a beta for fic writing, but I do have a brutal self-editing process (oh, the scenes and sentences I’ve cut!) and I have spent the last decade of my life in academic writing and sharing my work-in-progress written work over and over and over again, often for a couple of hours every few weeks in front of a room of people more senior and much smarter than me all with my written work printed out in front of them ready to tell me what I got wrong and what I need to change or get better at, lol. This has been bruising to say the least, but it 100% has made me a better writer and disabused me of a lot of the bad habits I picked up when starting out, and kicked the ego out of me thinking I didn’t need to edit and draft and re-draft everything several times. I’ve also spent a long time reading and editing and responding to other people’s work, in the same way, and that’s also been super productive to help me think about how to better communicate written ideas, fiction or non-fiction. So I think real improvement and growth in your writing has to come from getting a thick skin and being able to take critique from people you respect, who are constructive not destructive, and who believe in your talents, your right to show them, and want to see your work presented in the best possible way.

On characterisation specifically...

Look for similar scenarios in the books and see how the character reacts to those. I go back to canon a lot to find plots that are analogous to the plots I’m writing to see how characters physically and verbally respond to them. My thought processes are like, Hermione and Ginny in conflict? Head to HBP when they clash over Harry and Sectumsempra to see how they fight lol. Need to write a Weasley ensemble scene? Head to Goblet of Fire Burrow chapters pre-world cup to see the family dynamics in full swing, and see how the text conveys warmth and love between the characters, while also attending to power dynamics and changing/fractious relationships, down to the adverbs used to describe how people speak, how they physically occupy the space. (I used this chapter a lot when writing the beach day scene for the latest chapter of Beasts, because I knew I was going to have a scene that in part shows how Bill operates an older brother, especially how he deals with his parents and Percy, but also how to distinguish Bill from Charlie when they’re often characters that can get blurred together a bit as ‘the older ones’.) I’m doing this a ton with Hermione atm, because I think she sometimes exists in fanon differently to how she appears in canon and I didn’t want to just assume I knew her speech patterns based on reading a lot of fanfiction about her, but also because Hermione, unlike Ron, doesn’t have her existential crisis within canon but probably (I suspect) has a post-war reckoning that speaks on insecurities and traumas that do occur within the canon text. So if I’m looking at Hermione struggling to relate to the student body, I need to go back to the canon text and find moments where some of those dynamics were already starting to come into play (eg. Hermione not getting Quidditch, Hermione’s responses to Neville telling them what life was like under the Carrows, Hermione’s relationship with other girls in her year eg. Lavender and Parvati).

Relatedly: look at how characters that are similar to each other react to certain scenarios if you don't have enough evidence of how one character might behave. I decided with Beasts that, while Harry and Ginny are not the same person, they are characters that often react in certain situations similarly, so if I don’t have an example of how Ginny herself would respond to a certain situation (eg. injury in Quidditch), I can use Harry’s response as a bit of a guide for what Ginny would be like. That scene in chapter two where Harry and Ginny discuss her going back to Hogwarts actually borrows lines from Dumbledore and Harry’s conversation in the purgatory King’s Cross after Harry’s ‘death’ - ‘I have to go back, don’t I?’ ‘That’s up to you’ - because although Ginny deciding to go back to Hogwarts is not exactly the same as the decision Harry makes not to ‘go on’, it seemed there were enough analogies with it that I could borrow little lines and colour from that scene. (I have a bit of a cop-out dumb joke to myself in this scene - Harry saying to Ginny ‘we’re the same’ is me nodding to swapping out two very similar protagonists).

Play the ‘there’s a pigeon in the living room’ game. There’s lots of different versions of this exercise for improving characterisation, but I like this one: if this character woke up tomorrow, went into their living room and found a pigeon in it, what would they do? How would they respond? Would they scream/swear/laugh/calmly acknowledge the situation? How would they physically respond - would they try to get the pigeon out, if so how would they physically try to do that? What words could you use for how their body would move in the space while they tried to, say, open a window, or shoo it out the door? Would they call someone to help, if so, who, and why? What would they say, and how would they say it? It's such a stupid game but I do really find it helpful to better inhabit the character, especially if the character is very different from you as the author.

Good characterisation means trying to get everyone right. The trouble sometimes with fanfiction writing is that we have our main character as someone that we love and want to write about, and then harness all other characters in the service of our main character’s personal development. But that’s not really how real people behave - people rarely walk around thinking all day every day about one specific main-character person they know, lol (I always think of the bits in Inception where everyone starts looking at the person in the dream…) Strong characterisation means having at least a working understanding of what motivates every character that interacts with the main character in the fic, that thinks about how both characters perceive their relationship, and how their behaviours and the things they say might change based on who they’re talking to. Characterisation is deeply relational, and very much about how characters react or respond in a way that’s highly specific and contextual. It just takes a lot of really boring slog work of figuring how characters’ typical sentence structures, their body language, their thought-processes, who they gravitate towards, the kind of arc or change they are capable of. It’s important not to come in with judgement, and from a place of wanting to understand and empathise with a character. (It's why I don't really write characters I don't fully understand or 'get' - I'd do a horrible job!)

The last thing I want to say is that the best advice I ever received is pretentious and cloying but true: it's to know your gift. You say you find your own writing ‘irritatingly juvenile’. But in even asking a question like the one you’ve asked, you’ve shown you’re clearly a thoughtful, curious and creative person - and thoughtful, curious and creative people will always produce writing that other people will get something out of. I’ll bet your writing has real strengths, some that you don’t even see and others that actually (at least I hope!) you recognise and that you’re really proud of. This doesn’t mean you can’t develop new skills or improve or challenge yourself. But starting any process of improvement by clearly identifying what you’re good at (knowing your gift), figuring out why you’re good at it, thinking about how best to showcase it and believing you have a right to show this talent or skill is really important. I know this is excruciating to do but I really recommend making a little list of things and starting from this point of acknowledging you have stories to tell and ways of telling them that other people will admire and benefit from you sharing with them. You'll never actually want to improve if you come from a place of being horrible to yourself as a writer. What you do has worth, and wanting to improve is a journey we're all on, just trying to find ways to better share what we have and have it mean something to someone else who comes across it.

#writing #writing advice #beasts #thank you anon #i really hope this is helpful and i just know your writing will be wonderful #also i will be dining out on your praise for precisely one million years

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rose-riot-johnson · 8 months

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Well my Tumblr Peeps... I decided to write another fanfic about Bleach's very own Kensei Muguruma 😃👍

*Note this fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

😈❤️‍🔥There's Something Important I Need To Tell You, Captain...❤️‍🔥😈(Kensei Muguruma x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Possible Comfort, Mutual Confession, Kissing, Cuddling and Fluff (Warning⚠️Reader getting eyed at, while in swim clothes)

When you first became a soul reaper, as part of squad 9 of the Gotei 13, you basically haven't been confident in yourself. While you never had confidence in yourself before you were a teenager, however with a lot happening in the seireitei, especially with squad 9 not having a captain at the time didn't help any... However things have changed after multiple soul reapers, Kensei Muguruma included, got reinstated, once Aizen was defeated.

At first, you didn't think that Kensei being reinstated, as the squad 9 captain was going to help with your self-confidence, due to your low self-esteem you had as a child, however you were amazed by the fact that your self-confidence has started improving within a week after he was reinstated. It's like he knew everything on what to say, especially when it comes to training and missions. He was strict with you, like he was with the other squad 9 members, including Shuhei Hisagi, however thanks to him, you were able to complete your missions better and fight more effectively, especially during your battle against the bad hollows.

Whenever Kensei hears about or even sees how you manage to complete your missions and defeated the enemy, especially the bad hollows, he will either praise you to your face by saying, "Congrats, (Any Gender Reader Name). I wish more of my subordinates can be more effective like you and I knew you could do it!" or pretty much brag good about you behind your back to the other squad 9 members to take more (in their heads) that on how you manage to complete missions and kill the bad hollows, very effectively... Or possibly both. The thing is you weren't sure if he's aware that he's part of the reason why you have been more effective on your missions and you have gained some confidence, which he is secretly aware of it, however he's not worried about getting the credit on your progress. And he secretly has a crush on you...

One night you decided to go into the squad 9 barracks to tell your captain, Kensei Muguruma about making plans and you were pretty much planning on telling him how much you appreciate him and how much you liked him yourself, without him knowing your plans on telling him this, right away... He told you, "Ofcourse, (Any Gender Reader Name). I honestly was thinking about making plans on having a conversation with you alone, without anyone else's interference. Since, I would like to go swimming at a lake or possibly a river tomorrow, I suggest you bring something to swim in... If you don't have anything you could or would like to swim in, then I will buy you swim clothes...". You were surprised that he had a similar idea and is hinting the fact that he's inviting you to go swimming with him, which you're fine with, anyways.

The next morning, Kensei woke you up at about 5am, which was earlier than he usually wakes you up. He did this only with you, because he didn't want his other subordinates to know where he's going nor on where he's taking you, especially Shuhei... After you and and Kensei pack some stuff, including swim clothes and food, both you and Kensei started heading to the first lake or river the both of you find. Once the both you found a river, he decided to temporarily camp there for the day.

Both you and Kensei agreed on changing into swim clothes in different spots, so the both of you can give eachother some privacy obviously. Once he got changed into his swim shorts, he began wondering what's taking you so long with getting changed getting into swim clothes. A few minutes went by, it seems like you're still getting changed, so he decided to check on you to see what's taking you this long to get changed.

The second Kensei found you, you were already wearing your swim clothes. He honestly couldn't help eyeing you in the swim clothes you were wearing. While you didn't catch on about the way he was looking at you, however he was blushing with a straight face, as he always loved the sight of you, anyways.

"So, are you ready to go swimming, captain?", you asked Kensei, inorder to get his attention, despite of you being unaware of him eyeing you. "Ofcourse... I've been ready to, (Any Gender Reader Name)...", he replied. The both of you then, walked over to the river.

Once both you and Kensei got next to the river, he asked, "Before I mention anything, is there anything you would like to or possibly need to talk to me about?", as he still wasn't sure why you wanted to have a talk with him. You answered, "Well, captain... I get that I managed to complete my missions and defeat the hollows I needed to defeat more effectively, however I wasn't always as effective, as I am in recent months... My low self-esteem and my lack of self-confidence are part of it... To be honest I didn't think you being reinstated was going to make any difference, because I was used to feeling very hard on myself... However when you were training with me and your other subordinates, I have seen the difference with my ability... My self-confidence has increased... My self-esteem has been better than it has ever been... And my ability and skills have improved... When you first got reinstated as the squad 9 captain it, I'm not sure, if you remember the first time we met, however when we first met, it felt just from hearing you talk and giving commands, there was some ability you have to make me a stronger, better, and more confident soul reaper, than I had ever been in my entire life... I had always admired you in first sight... And also... All because of you, I more effective than I ever was... To be honest, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be the more confident and more effective fighter, as I was today... So thank you... I really appreciate you and... Months after you got reinstated, as my captain, my self-confidence, self-esteem, ability, and skills aren't the only things that grew...". He was confused as he asked, "What do you mean your self-confidence, self-esteem, ability, and skills aren't the only things that grew? What are you trying to tell me, (Any Gender Reader Name)?", as he started to give you a loose enough hug, to rub the back of both of your arms.

You replied, "You see, Kensei... I'm not sure, if you feel the same way about me, however... I have been having alot of feelings for you in recent weeks... I think it's something about your personality and how you lead squad 9, including myself... I also feel that you always listen to me and you're always fair with me for some reason... I also feel you make a wonderful captian, Kensei Muguruma...". Kensei was surprised with every word that came out of your mouth, which made him low-key happy about it. Not just what you said, however he was also happy you're honest about every word you told him. Then he decided to take his turn as he also has a confession of his own, as he moved his hands on your shoulders and he said, "It's good to hear that you're honest with me about it and since it seems like you're done talking, I might as well tell you this... Heart to heart... I feel you listen to me, too... Also I have been having feelings for you for a while, myself... I'm not sure how long... I just know these butterflies in my stomach and inside my chest, regardless if it's the sight of you, your voice, the thought of you, you name it... I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold on to these feelings for you... There's something about you, that makes me feel alive. Eversince meeting you, my life has been better, as well... And my heart just won't stop aching for you... So, (Any Gender Reader Name)... Thank you for giving me an opportunity to confess to you.", as the both of you, then proceeded to kiss eachother on the lips. After the kiss, you then said, "You're welcome Kensei...", as you ended up blushing, as much Kensei blushed.

After both you and Kensei got done swimming, he decided to cook for himself and you... Actually he cooked more for you, than he did for himself, knowing Kensei. You madesure he ate some food, too. Once the both of you finished eating, it was starting to get dark outside, so the both of you decided to head back to the seireitei, before it gets too dark.

Once the both of you made it back to the seireitei, he invited you to spend the night with him in the same bed, as he sleeps, in his barracks, and considering everyone else in squad 9 seem to be partying elsewhere, the both of you figured why not. Once both you and Kensei set yourselves up for bed, the whole night became a very peaceful cuddle night. You pretty much knew the both of you would cuddle in peace and Kensei on the other hand was surprised about being able cuddle with you in peace without any of his other subordinates bugging the crap out of either one of you, for anything.

After that day (and night) that the both of you had together, aside from the both of you having a relationship together, Kensei has been less tense with other subordinates and has been so much happier, since the both of you confessed to eachother. As it is, you were able to tell him about personal stuff and being yourself with him, however eversince that day, you have been more comfortable talking to him about more topics, than ever before. Also, both you and Kensei, no longer feel obligated to keep feelings for eachother a secret, as the both of you are in a relationship now.

❤️‍🔥😈The End😈❤️‍🔥

Okay my Tumblr Peeps, I hope you enjoy this Kensei fanfic❤️‍🔥😈I really wanted to write another Kensei fanfic for a while and was trying to decide on write this fanfic pertaining him, so I unexpectedly write about the mutual confession, as one of the genres for this fanfic❤️‍🔥😈 Anyways my Tumblr Peeps, I hope you enjoyed reading this fanfic, as much as I had fun writing it❤️‍🔥😈😁👍

Fun Facts: *This fanfic was originally gonna have head cannon(?), as of the genres for this fanfic, however once I decided to change on what to have this fanfic about, the head cannon(?) genre, just hasn't happened for this fanfic.*While watching Bleach, the first time I saw Kensei, I had always thought he was cool (this was years before the Thousand Blood War arc was finally getting animated). So, needless to say that I always have been a fan of his, since first sight😈❤️‍🔥😁👍

#kensei x reader #kensei muguruma #rose riot writings #fanfic written by rose riot johnson #rose riot johnson #fluff #possible comfort #kensei fluff #mutual confession

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jaycrakhead · 7 months

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Gauche x Grey (Greyche analysis) PART 1

(not me promoting my art as the cover)

Heyaa So, the purpose of this analysis is just...I don't know I was bored KQKQOWK and I’ve been wanting to make an analysis on these two with manga and anime info (besides personal opinions) for a while now; It's just my take, you don’t need to agree with anything I’ll be saying. I just wanted to talk EDUHUEID- This will have two parts, since the first part is pretty much a non romantic analysis and it already is too much text to deal with EIUDIOEDHDH shit gets serious on the second part. Of course there will be spoilers for anime and manga- (NOTE: I won't go into terms and name meanings since I believe it's already talked a lot so yeah. Sorry if there's any mistakes, I'm just a bro talking about Greyche) WELL TO GET STARTED, BRIEF INFO ABOUT THEM:

Gauche Adlai, member of the Black Bulls, fallen royal, ex convict, possesses Mirror Magic and has an extreme obsession with his younger sister Marie Adlai. This obsession often leads to comedic or just cringe situations. (or just people starting to hate him in general) I think his "character purpose/lesson" (idk how to put it) is about "trust" and "protect". Especially about learning to trust others and creating bonds with other people, because not everyone will betray him. People aren't the same, and I get the feeling of trauma where you are backstabbed and therefore your defensive levels rise and your trust levels lower. It's fucked up and with his background is even more fucked up. But it’s all a life learning experience on “how he can trust others besides himself (and Marie)”. Well he a tsundere mf MAKQLQOW just joking (or not) I also think his "character purpose/lesson" is about "taking a look at others besides himself (and Marie)". [inserts mirror brigades]

Grey, true name unknown, member of the Black Bulls, Cinderella backstory, shy and socially awkward that struggles with self-esteem af. But it is understandable do to her back story. She was believed to possess Transformation Magic, but later on Owen called it "Transmutation Magic". Personally I like to call it "Fairy Godmother Type of shit" I think it suits it pretty much. Well, she used to hide her true form and walk around as a big ass scary dude, because she feared to not be accepted by others due to her true appearance and so on, so she chose/embraced that appearance because it maybe reflects on how she sees herself after all. I think her "character purpose/lesson" is like about overcoming her insecurities and actually let herself see her true self for what she truly is and not what her fears, her abusive family and insecurities showed/show her to be. Basically "taking a better look at herself".

I think both of them have their issues just so rooted since they were younger and that's why it's so current on them. Gauche's obsession and trust issues and Grey's terrible self-esteem and lack of confidence. Both MIRROR (hehehe) their "character purpose/lesson": Gauche needs to "take a better look at others besides himself" and Grey needs to "take a better look at herself"; Besides of course how ironic it is for Gauche to have Mirror Magic and Grey having a complete messed up pov of herself. I can see both trying to be the best versions of themselves. Grey always trying to improve, and Gauche working on his rude behavior and actually showing to trust and protecting others. And of course they pretty much mirror each other in moods. So, before talking about their moments of this first part, I just wanna say: 1) I'mma cover their moments but I won't do a complilation of all their frames together just... breathing side to side. I do want to state that they are framed together A LOT so keep that just in mind; 2) I also wanna say that I have a little theory that Gauche might have ironically self esteem issues too (not so high like Grey but there's something sus there). Like he seems conscious of his attitudes and on how he is a bastard that “shouldn’t even be saved” by his friends. Like he seems to feel guilty about it idk. Besides that, something caught me and it is probably nothing BUT he states that he has been hiding his left eye before he used the mirror tool for the first time and I can't stop thinking that he finds it creepy idk why. Also I wonder the story behind that mirror tool. 3) And finally about their Grimoires, I do see the mirror detail on Grey's but Gauche's, I don't see at all that theory where it is a "wrapped present" or something like that. I don't have a firm opinion on what his Grimoire detail might symbolize but I think both are mirrors, Grey's has no reflection and Gauche's has. But I’m not really sure.

WELL NOW LET'S BEGIN

Before the Seabed Temple arc, I don’t think there’s something relevant at all to be talked between them as that Grey’s true form wasn’t even revealed yet. If I'm wrong and something relevant happened comment on it please iujiorfjrf- However at the Seabed Temple arc:

(Chapter 66) I think their fight agaisnt Zarick (the aftermatch) is really funny and showed good dynamic and partnership between them even if Gauche ordered around. A funny first actual interaction to show us DEHUDHE Also thanks Grey for giving us goofy Gauche.

Also I love how Grey is willing to kill UDEIIDHIUED YES SIR LET'S DO IT The piggyback ride is also iconic Okay now the highlight that is "actually relevant", the compliment and the infamous "Gauche blushed" "He nosebleed before pulling the picture" and yara yara

Well, Gauche compliments Grey's magic which makes Grey go doki doki, since she probably didn't get complimented at all before. She of course took to heart that compliment to her magic, but since it came from Gauche (due to all the backstory where he is envolved) she takes it even more to heart. Also It's funny whenever Gauche is sincere he looks away from everyone udieuduh I just wanted to comment on that because same.

Well, the transformation starts to go off, Gauche believed Grey was just that big ass scary dude walking around, and then PUFF Grey's true form revealed.

Truly I don't think Gauche either blushed or nosebleed at her before pulling the picture. idk how debatable is that but to me he just didn't. And it is okay HIEUDHIUEHD. If he pulled the picture as an excuse? I don't know, I don't believe it either... only when I see it. I think it was too early for something and well Charmy comments on how he isn't looking at Grey at all. At this early point in the story not even Grey wanted Gauche (or anyone really) to look at all at her as she says (or admits to herself) later on. So I think it's pretty much "balanced" for something in it's early stages?

If it matters he was at least listening to the conversation but that still doesn't say anything at all (at least to me), it's sus of him caring enough to listen? A bit, but mf was right there so yeah it would be natural for him to hear. I just think they were still building up just partnership, and it's totally fine. If you disagree and Gauche showed interest, it's fine too <3 After that in the anime they are there, but it's not relevant at all. And for this arc is basically it. At the Royal Knights Arc, during the exam in the anime, they are pretty much just there or framed besides each other but that's pretty much it, honestly they play a bigger part later on. But I felt like mentioning.

(Chapter 138) We are now taking a look at the AWKWARD TRIAD

Again it's all about more partnership rather than any romance or such between them. And of course partnership is impoortant as fuck too. Which is nice to me see that partnership before anything else, sorry if I like the slowest of the slowburns. Well Gordon and Grey struggle to well… socialize as they are the three "equality quiet friends" (As Gordon refers it, but to me they are just the AWKWARD TRIAD). In Grey's anxious pov, she states how she should try to be more herself since her comrades see her as one of them. Then she says in a smaller speech that "Even Gauche" complimented her, and that's basically an encoragement for her to try to be herself since even THAT STONE HEARTED GUY complimented her DIUEDHIUHDIHE kidding Since Gauche is rude and has a defensive posture towards everyone in general it is kind of a "reassurance" for her that if even him said something nice, then it must be okay. Grey pretty much sees a good side to Gauche despite his behaviour that himself sees as something bastard of nature.

Well Grey picks up her big balls and tries to make conversation with Gauche. Gauche is just... Gauche and well it's funny UDEIUDHe

Then shit is about to get real at the hideout,

and we all know what happened next. Gauche won't be playing anymore after that. also I wanted to state that

Mf just didn't went to bathroom through the whole thing UEDUDIU sad ;-;

(Chapters 139-140) So shit breaks out at the hideout and we have the awkward triad working together. We have just mainly small Greyche moments of them. Like the fact that (as we knew) Grey took to heart what Gauche said and that made her learn really quickly another spell. (It took her 5 years to learn her first one) And so on, I also think (I hope I'm not mistaken) that in the anime they talk at the same time a few times but I'm not sure, however it's just funny nothing really OMG.

also this is also funny:

(Chapter 141) We have Gauche encouraging Grey. She is of course doubtfull she can transform something big as that salamander and Gauche reasures her that it will be fine and they look at each other. I was going to say "He tells her to look at him" but "they looked at each other" sounds more meaningful.

aaah the brigades. We have one of the first Grey Mirrors Brigades, since he seems to mirror brigade her a lot through the story. I feel like I've seen it 20 times which I know i didn't but it's the feeling. Which in strategic purposes it's great and all but this is a ship analysis so SUS

and that's pretty much it for this arc Elf Reincarnation Arc:

(Chapter 149)

I just wanna comment this small detail. On how sus it is to put Grey there in frame. Not to say that it means a lot because to me things weren't really romantic until the timeskip, but it's just sus. And I wanted to comment on that. Doesn't make sense at all to include her if it wasn't something to become sus. Maybe Grey was framed there just because, but it wasn't necessary at all specially since Gordon would look more likely to be framed there at that distance. It's just sus, it bothered me while reading IDEIUHDEIUDH. I WAS VENTING

BUT HEY

THEIR FIRST KISS UHDEUHDH It's just so funny to me also sus that he should have hit Gordon's forehead SINCE HE WAS IN HIS FACE, but hey here's their first kiss. Thanks for stepping back Gordon, you are a true bro.

Well moving on (and yes I'm not talking about the fight at all because well sure Grey was fighting for him like everyone else and she didn't want to lose any of her friends) Here's the thing, where Gauche thinks of himself as a little bitch that should be left behind. And despite that they still consider him basically family, and of course despite not being shown, we know Grey still sees a good side to him too.

and next, the main panel that makes me say that his "character purpose/lesson" is to look at others, especially those 3. I find it meaningful Asta saying "Look at us" since "Look at me" is Gauche's line.

Well for that arc it's basically all, after the last thing mentioned they are just framed side to side.

However when they return, I DO KNOW the Return episode, is filler but I really wanted to comment on how Grey called Gauche a wall for her to hide EDIUDHEIUHD And he took it personally IDHIUEHD

Okay MOVING ON For the last part of this first part of the analysis

(Chapter 223) Well Yami implied them all are friends or get along at least, (I know if I don't mention it somebody might point it out) On the anime, Gauche comments on things Grey says like the fact that she is feeling overwhelmed at the thought of being cursed by someone she doesn't know, but focusing of the "person she doesn't know "part and he is all like "THE PART OF BEING FUCKING CURSED DOESN'T SCARE YOU?" Now at Gordon's House Gate, Grey clings to Gauche and he doesn't seem to be comfortable at all, but well it doesn't matter since later on it's just another day for him EUDEdh And Grey clings and hides behind him whenever she needs. I like the fact that in the anime Asta looks at them all like "What the fuck is going on here?", you can still see him looking at them in the manga but he looks so awkward in the anime IEHDIUEHDH

Then at the Agrippa family dinner I find it hilarious that Gauche feels awkward (such an achievement) and he whispers to Grey telling her to say something, like she would even talk UDEIDHEUHD on the first place EIDIHE well at least in the anime he took care of the weird shit Gordon's sister gave Grey.

Well here's a cute panel

WELL GUYS we've reached the end of the first part. The second part will include actually more analysing on things since shit starts to get serious from now on. I wanted to look at things from the early stages and since they are a side ship there's not that much to look at before what's upcoming so yeah. (I mean there's A LOT to look at since they are framed a lot together, but actual things happening it a bit less on this part at least) NEXT UP -Episode 150 -Rest of the storyline until chapter 368 -The Movie -Probably me just rambling about them

I hope you liked this It's just for fun <3

#black clover #gauche x grey #gauche adlai #grey x gauche #greyche #grey black clover #black clover anime #black clover manga #ship analysis #character analysis #part 1 #ship #ship review #this took me so long

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yukidragon · 1 year

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How do you think jack/Joseph would deal with someone with no self esteem? Would he get upset eventually?(Ps I love your headcanons )

Awww, thank you! I’m glad you like my headcanons! 💖

Jack would no doubt do his best to be supportive and bolster his precious sunshine’s self-esteem. He would try to help them see the good qualities about themselves, and if there’s one thing he excels at, it’s praise. I’m sure he would have no shortage of good things to say about MC that he can point out to them, and I’m sure he’ll do his best to help them see it as well.

There are all sorts of exercises to help a person improve their self-esteem. I’m sure Jack would come up with a few ideas of how to encourage MC to think more highly of themselves.

I can imagine it’s possible for Jack to get frustrated after a while if all his efforts to help his sunshine get a bit more self-confidence didn’t amount to much. Sadly, sometimes a person needs therapy to deal with such crushingly low self-esteem. It’s not MC’s fault if things are so bad it affects their mental health, and I’m sure Jack would understand that.

No doubt Jack would support them seeing a therapist or getting medicinal treatment for their issues if it was clear to him that the problem is something he alone can’t handle. It’s important to take care of one’s health, both mental and physical. There’s no shame in seeing a doctor when your stomach is unwell, so why would a mind that’s unwell be treated any different?

I imagine it would be upsetting to Jack that the world has been so cruel to his sunshine to make them see so lowly of themselves. If only they could see in themselves what he sees in them... how beautiful they shine...

My version of the MC, Alice, has pitiful self-esteem. I haven’t shown too much of it in Sunshine in Hell so far, but I have shown Jack being reassuring to Alice in the part 1 and part 2 of the intimate unfinished short story for the vampire AU when she thinks negative thoughts about herself. He even briefly gets a bit firm with her at one point when she’s especially mean for herself. He would rather not be anything but soft and gentle to her, but sometimes being firm for his sunshine is what she needs.

Though you could say a part of Jack was pretty firm because of Alice through most of the story.

Didn’t even try to get that pun, it just fell into my lap... like how Alice was in Jack’s lap making him all firm for her. Hahaha.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask

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ina-nis · 7 months

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Hmm... I guess the perceptions of feeling myself as unwanted and unlovable - while knowing with certainty they're untrue - are probably other of the many symptoms I'll likely have to deal with for the rest of my life, huh?

I can't quite pinpoint where they come from. I don't really know if it would make any difference? Oh, maybe it's the Complex PTSD, even obsessively ruminating from OCD, or AvPD's rejection sensitivity and inferiority complex. It could be all that, too.

I've been trying to get around my head how is it possible to have a good self-esteem and still feel that way (since, supposedly, your self-esteem will make things like that improve).

My reaction (after the fact) has improved, a lot.

I still get these feelings triggered. They still cause bad meltdowns. It doesn't last for days anymore, thankfully.

I'm able to get back up almost right away because I know they're untrue, because I know my worth, because I know it's not about me or not about anything I'm doing wrongly, etc... it just is.

I'm not unlovable, or unwanted, or uninteresting and I know how special and unique I am - me and each other person, too. Everyone is important simply because they exist.

Dealing with people triggers those feelings all the time.

Even though I've been trying my hardest to just not take it personally, to start seeing it more casually and not looking into things too deeply, I find it extremely difficult... if not, straight up impossible...! And I can, at least, understand why.

Complex trauma rewires the brain.

I'm sure most my disorders originated from it.

Considering it's (still) an ongoing issue, considering I've been mostly unable to tilt the scales for long enough, with good enough experiences... it just keeps on digging deeper and deeper in my skin.

So... ultimately, it doesn't really matter how much I love myself and tell myself how wonderful I am when that doesn't translates into real life experiences outside of myself.

My individual, personal experiences with myself are but that: individual and personal experiences starting on me towards me. There are environmental and social factors and influence, too, obviously, but this is something I mostly go through in the solitude of my own mind.

This is, I think, where AvPD thrives a lot...

Good luck getting out of your head once you get to that point... the alienation and disconnection will only get worse and worse as that goes one - I know it did for me, I eventually stopped caring because it was just too exhausting and dissociation-inducing to care I guess.

Ironically... here I am! My self-esteem has never been this good, I have never liked myself more (and never been happier with my life overall) and yet... I can't shake off these feelings. I can't help but feel unwanted and unlovable with every rejection, perceived or not; I can't help feeling unimportant and disposable even though I know my worth; and so on...

Even when I do understand where these feelings come from - and it's so frustrating that I do! - even when I understand that taking a more casual and not-letting-it-get-to-me approach would be the way to go, even when I understand this is natural and part of social relationships, even when I understand most connection are not what I'm looking for (so I need to keep on looking anyway!)... even when I know all these things, I can't really help my feelings.

I can't wish them away, I can't pretend it doesn't hurt and even if I try to reframe it or look on the bright side, see it as a lesson, etc, it doesn't really address the pain, it doesn't really make the hurt go away - oh goodness, do I even want to "reframe" these things? No! It sucks, it hurts, it feels awful.

The pain is made so much worse because I know how lovable I am.

The pain is made so much worse exactly because I know my worth.

But yes, most people don't really care? And that's fine. Most people don't really see all that in you either, which is also fine. I can understand that too.

Where are the people who will love me in the way I need to be loved?

Where are the ones who will actually want me? Who will choose me?

Where's that someone who will think I'm invaluable, so important they won't want to lose?

I already know I am that person for myself, that doesn't change my predicament because it doesn't address this emotional loneliness that withers me.

#avpd #avoidance #avoidant #avoidant personality disorder #loneliness #romantic love #ocd #inanis post

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crocus-cryptid · 12 days

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We're onto V1E9 V1E10. The Badge and The Burden.

Ruby wearing her cape with her uniform is pretty cute.

It's interesting how Weiss is the last to wake up. She comes from money, so I'm guessing she hasn't needed to worry much about getting up early before.

How someone decorates a space can tell you a lot about them.

A boy band poster purposefully put at an angle for Yang. Considering that she's been the most interested in guys so far and is free spirited, that tracks for her.

I wonder how much that painting Weiss brought costs.

I wonder where Blake managed to pack all those books! I wonder what's in Ninjas of Love that's so embarrassing. Maybe it's because pulpy romance isn't exactly esteemed literature?

Ruby using her scythe to put the curtains up and accidentally slashing them is funny! I'm short too, so I get it. Probably the biggest stick she has on hand.

The pan to the pile of beds in the center of the room is a good gag.

Weiss is definitely the odd one out so far. I'm guessing she hasn't spent much time around normal teenagers.

Oh those bunk beds look janky as hell. I doubt they're staying up.

Ruby is really stepping up as team leader! Despite her initial social awkwardness, she seems like a natural at being in charge.

It seems Ruby's a bit time blind. I find her really relateable so far.

I wonder what made Ozpin decide to choose Jaune to lead his team. He hasn't really done much to prove himself yet.

The anatomical sketches of the grimm are neat! I wonder if that's real concept art of them. Putting your characters in a classroom is a pretty natural means to stage exposition, since classes in real life are real world exposition. Maybe that's part of why there are so many books about magic schools.

I think we've all had at least one teacher that wouldn't shut up about their own life instead of teaching. That's why I failed 8th grade math, or got near it. The other part of it was the undiagnosed ADHD.

Christ, they brought a captive grimm into the classroom. I guess that's less intense than initiation at least.

It's interesting how Weiss told Ruby not to tell her what to do, then immediately did what she said. I guess there are only so many ways to kill a boar.

Weiss probably said a lot of that to be hurtful, but has a point. Ruby was fast tracked two years ahead and placed in charge of her own team. It seems a lot like favoritism on Ozpin's part.

I can't say I trust professor Port. He seems weird.

Ozpin saying he's made more mistakes than any man, woman or child is foreshadowing, I know that. I'll admit I looked up his wiki page to figure out why his name didn't follow the color rule. I remembered aspects of his whole deal before that, though.

I agree with professor Port in his assessment that Weiss wouldn't make a good leader. She doesn't have the emotional maturity for it.

The eay both Ruby and Weiss' conversations are intercut makes sense. They touch on the same themes of self improvement amd trying one's best.

I'm excited to see how Weiss improves as a person. It's clear she's going to try at it.

I've had a long day, so this'll be the only liveblog today. There's less on my plate tomorrow, so hopefully I can knock out more than one.

#rwby #croxs rwby liveblog

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cycle-hit · 1 month

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realising ive never put into words character speech/think patterns that ive absorbed while having to write them nd i need to so. here u go.

haruka - guilty of not rly paying attention to how he speaks so i have less knowledge of it. used to stutter over his words a lot in t1, had a poor grasp of vocabulary. in t2 he stutters less/not at all, his vocabulary has improved but because of this i like to think he probably speaks close to how muu does (since she taught him) (i have no idea if this is canon or not)

yuno - lots of usage of the word "bothersome". presents a facade that she cares more than she actually does. i dont have a lot of thoughts on how i write her honestly- she's close enough to myself that i just WRITE her speaking manner as myself but a little different. she has a habit of teasing people. can be sexual (in speech) at times. homophobic dog. can make people uncomfortable with her knowledge of them or her general attitude. warmth.

fuuta - also guilty of analysing him less. i just write him sort of like how i speak to people im close to. has a regular angry anime boy speech pattern thats actually not angry- mixed with twitter user. in t2 he develops cult speak habits which actually makes him sort of hard to write bc i have to google things like "Religious words" "Words like salvation" every time i write his dialogue. hes stupid as all fuck.

muu - she's so fuckign funny. "passive aggressive" teenager in high school. says "muu" instead of stuff like "i" or "me/my" 10x more than mahiru's habit. doesnt "care" for most people she speaks to and it shows (unlike yuno's facade). spoiled rich girl. can be ignorant and not necessarily always on purpose. shes just a mean teenager man idk what much else to say about her speech patterns. in t1 she actually used to trail off a lot and hesitate to speak bc she was scared

shidou - guilty of not looking into him a lot. has a habit of "looking down" on the people he's speaking to with the sole exception of kazui (though he tends to think of kazui solely as Older Man Like Me rather than anything. deeper?? idk if that makes sense). verbose like some other little furry shit that i know. doesnt emote well. i write him like myself as well

mahiru - MAHIRU!!! in t1 she used to say her own name a lot like muu. in t2 this changes- she doesn't say do it as often. she apologises a lot in t2. low self-esteem that she makes known in speech whenever talking about herself. she just wants people to be happy. references her magazines/stuff she reads a lot in t1- im always rly sad she's lost this trait in t2. i want her lit major-ness back. sunshine incarnate that's been extinguished. "airhead" and "carefree" are words that describe her but i also tend to write her as being slightly hurt by them- its likely not a nice feeling to be thought of as "stupid" in gentler terms. i like to write her as more observant than people think though i dont think this is canon- she's lit major.......come on milgram...make her strange!!! let her observe people like those who like writing are so prone to do!!!!!!!! cant handle anyone making fast/unpredictable movement towards herself anymore after t2. also. NANDE, NANDE NANDE? (constantly questioning why.)

kazui - i need to analyse him more. his gaze makes people uncomfortable, notably those who dont like parts of themselves "seen". likely an aftermath of his employment of being a detective- he has to be able to know and analyse people accurately. reminiscences on his younger days a lot. i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot.

amane - guilty of not analysing her speech patterns at all actually. verbose. stuck in a cult. more "childish" than she lets on and tries to conceal this fact.

mikoto - i have to make sure he talks about work. tendency to present himself as more "simple" than he is. john speaks more aggressively. "carefree" like mahiru but less and more self-aware.

kotoko - oh boy. stupid fucking verbose bitch she takes so fucking long to write especially since i have to do her pov you have no god damn idea. she is constantly analysing and overthinking everything around her it doesnt stop. blunt. asks a question in return when she doesnt want to answer a question or gives short statements like theyre fact. struggles to read social aspects bc of her paranoia. uses the word "ridiculous" and "-ne?" ("right?") a lot. as well as "evil" or "sinners" or "criminals". thinks shes sooooo fucking smart when in reality shes stupid as all fuck. i write her very much like myself. theres a lot to say about her speech patterns/way she is that influences her speech that idk how to put into words bc its just been absorbed into my brain like a sponge. sounds like shes analysing you every time she speaks. naturally intense-looking in a way that scared muu even in t1.

#HOPE THIS...HELPS? these are also very much generalisations that have nuance to them. i just tend to think of these things as a quick summ-#-ary whenever i have to write them so theyre closer to canon. i probably also missed a lot bc the only characters i stare at under-#microscopes are um. kotoko 'nd mahiru...bc i only write their povs. i have to know them inside and out but for the others i do not..have to #little guy posting

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stargirlfeyre · 1 year

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I hate this narrative that all Feyre stans love Rhys. I can’t stand Rhys - but I love Feyre. I liked him in the original trilogy, but ACOSF just completely destroyed his character. His keeping Feyre’s pregnancy issues a secret? Absolutely disgusting. But you know what’s more disgusting? Telling everyone, including her abusive sister, instead of her. Another reason why I can’t stand him is when he had the nerve to say that Feyre stifles Elain when frankly it is the other way around. For so long, Elaine did absolutely nothing when Nesta was viciously insulting her. And because of that, Feyre still has some deep rooted self esteem issues. It’s almost as if everyone, including her own husband, thinks she owes her sisters something. Her sisters are grown ass women - they have been since the beginning of the series. Elain isn’t some little kid in need of a mother. She’s in her twenties and has lived off Feyre for half her life. And with the exception of her half-assed apology in ACOMAF, she still has done nothing to acknowledge Feyre’s sacrifices and apologize for how she acted to Feyre.

And honestly I don’t even like the Inner Circle for the part they played in hiding Feyre’s pregnancy but who I can’t stand is Cassian, Amren, and even Azriel. Amren compared Feyre to her literal abuser, befriended Nesta even knowing how she treated Feyre and how she’s still treating Feyre. She only stopped being friends with Nesta after she realized that Nesta had no interest in getting better and improving her own life. Azriel showed no concern over Feyre’s potential death. In fact, he showed more concern over Nesta and her healing than he did his High Lady. Like how messed up can you be that you care more about your friend’s abuser than your actual friend? Cassian and Azriel are just alike in that aspect. He spent all his time trying to Nesta rather than trying to help Rhys find a solution to Feyre’s potential death. Even if they disliked Feyre or didn’t care about her, you’d think that they would show a little concern if only for Rhys. Rhys, who I don’t liked but have to admit, has done everything for the Inner Circle. He was enslaved for fifty years so they could be free. Did they forget that if Feyre dies, Rhys does too? Or did they just not care because poor, precious Nesta was hurting? It’s almost as if Nesta and Elain bring out the worse in everyone.

90% of my like for Rhys comes from Feyre. I like him because SHE likes him. His devotion to her is his best quality.

The inner circle+ Nesta and Elain are still in my shit list for what they did to Feyre. I think they at LEAST deserve a good tongue lashing from her.

And I agree Nesta should have absolutely not been told about Feyre’s dangerous pregnancy. They know that she does any and everything she can to hurt Feyre so why the hell would Cassian’s dumbass open his mouth? Sjm having Rhys say Feyre stifles her sisters was just her again using her characters to make Elain and Nesta seem more interesting. Rhys in the main series does not care that much about Elain being “stifled” and even said he would use her to his advantage. You think he would call out his wife for how she treats her sisters when he barely even cares about them? It was obvious mass was speaking through him.

It’s funny how Azriel and Cassian were going to bat for Nesta knowing about the weapons but had no problem keeping the secret of Feyre’s pregnancy from her. That’s why Mor doesn’t want his nasty ass. How Azriel acted in Acosf is why I don’t feel bad for the way Rhys talked to him. If Rhys made him feel worthless and undeserving then hey🤷🏽‍♀️. He had it coming.

Azriel and Cassian in acosf are incapable of thinking without their dicks. Cassian acts like a downright idiot and forget everything he stood for in the last books just because he’s fucking Nesta. And Azriel is literally just there to become obsessed with pretty women. He doesn’t care about shit else. Both him and Elain are self centered as fuck. I can see why sjm is putting them together.

I think the reason so many people were ooc in Acosf because sjm was using them to redeem Nesta and set up for Elain’s book. It’s almost like she was saying “hey look, Nesta is OBVIOUSLY a good person because your favorite characters like her”. She didn’t put much effort in actually redeeming Nesta through her actions. She redeemed her by making other characters like her. Even though it made zero sense. Main trilogy Cassian wanted to fuck Nesta but he still called her out and wasn’t blindly defensive of her like he was in acosf. Sjm stripped him of that quality because she knew it wouldn’t work if she was trying to make Nesta look good in the readers eyes.

In the end it just made everyone look annoying as fuck and Feyre, Mor, and Nyx the only likable ones.

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