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slightly-depressed-sloth · 1 year

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Little fandom vent; sometimes I get annoyed at the way fandom reduces Damian down to stabby child who only cares about himself and does murder. Like yeah while I get fandom almost always reduces characters down to their funniest or snappiest traits Damian's just doesn't make sense.

Like his whole character is about how much he DOESNT want to be those things.

Damian cares so so so much about other people he just struggles to express it bc it takes a lot for him to trust someone enough to believe they're not going to pull the rug out from under him or betray him somehow. If he didn't care about other people he wouldn't have spent months trying to find Martha's pearls in the sewer, risking his life bc there was a bounty on his head at this point and further ruining his image with Bruce (who thought Damian was just sneaking off and putting himself in danger). He wouldn't have denounced the league and everything he knew to protect a man he'd met less than a year ago. He wouldn't have purposely failed a timed test as Robin to get across the city as fast as possible (a test that would've allowed him to go out alone as Robin and given him more independence one of things Damian values very highly) instead he went over the allowed time by more than 10 hours BC he helped old women with their shopping and walked women home after they were robbed and he sat with a man he saw crying in his apartment for more than 2 hours just having tea with him. I could go on and on about all the genuinely kind things he does bc Damian's empathy and kindness is one of his defining traits actually.

And yeah he used to kill people and he was more prone to violence than the other Robins but he was literally raised in an environment where his worth and by proxy his survival was tied to how well he did murder. I'm pretty sure if you raised any child in an environment where since they were born they were rewarded for killing and violence but punished for showing mercy and told them that it's for the greater good, that they're special and that there's nothing wrong with killing if the ends justify the means they'd end up the same.

Not to mention Damian fights so hard to not be violent bc he doesn't want to be, the people Damian admires most in the world (Dick and Jon) both based their entire personality around Superman (also it's confirmed Supes is his fav justice Leaguer in supersons). Damian wants to be like them so bad and wants to be kind and outgoing and as pacifist as you can get as a vigilante. Damian struggles so much to be that person but it's not as easy as just stopping when you've been conditioned your whole life that killing is the right move and that your worth as a person and the love of those around is dependent on you doing it. He literally keeps a sketch book where he just draws out all the intrusive violent thoughts he gets while fighting villains to get the anger and compulsion out so that he DOESN'T do those things. And Damian feels immensely guilty about all of his past murders which is shown over and over. When he kills no-body (an action he did to protect Bruce) he asks Bruce afterwards how he's supposed to make amends, how he's supposed to live with it.

Which leads me onto the other thing (and hopefully the last cause wow this is getting long) even Damian at his absolute worst only performs extreme violence out of either self defense or logic to him. He doesn't do it out of maliciousness (or at least that isn't the motivating factor). His worst actions were probably in his introduction where he 1) He accosted Alfred and stole the key to exit the batcave 2) Decapitated a villian 3) Attacked Tim

So let's get background on these events from Damian's pov. Damian has never been told who his father is and has to duel his mother every year on his birthday for the chance to find out. And then on his 10th birthday he wins and then that same night he's taken on a plane to go live with this man who he's told about on the plane ride over, then his first impression of him is Bruce fighting a bunch of manbats. His mother says she's leaving him with him indefinitely not telling him when she'll be back. And then this man who he only found out about hours beforehand takes him on another plane to a foreign country where he knows no-one and he finds out his father has other children as well. He's then locked in a small room adjoining a fucking cave full of weapons and told virtually nothing with no-one really talking to him except for them telling him that oh yeah everyone you know and trust is evil and your whole world view is wrong. And then when he yells at Bruce and has what's honestly best described as a temper tantrum (BC oh yeah he was literally 9 years old until a couple hours ago) Bruce in a bid to try and control his anger (since he's not sure how dangerous he is yet) uses league tactics on Damian telling him that he's dishonouring those who taught him. So the literal child whose spent his 10th birthday being flown around the globe to be a dumped in a foreign country with a man he's never met and only knows is a good fighter with a family consisting of an unknown amount of other allies who are similarly trained and then was locked in a room after being told his whole life is a lie might be forgiven for latching onto the only familiar thing here and going 'oh! Now I know how this works'

With the knowledge that Damian definitely decided from this conversation that the bats operate the same as the league it's pretty clear his reasoning is

1) Accosting Alfred and and stealing the key - a) I don't think you'd wanna be locked in a space by a bunch of strangers either no matter how nice the space is b) he probably assumed it was a challenge to see whether he was able to break out and a way they were testing his worth/ability

2) Decapitated a villian - once again assuming this is a test and trying to prove his worth/help his father in the mission to stop crime he was just told about

3) attacked Tim - a) Damian assumes that since Tim is home that he must be the current favourite and it's already known that in the league the way you replace someone is by killing them thus proving you were better than them. B) in the league if you were not the favourite/the best you were disposable c) the only way Damian knows how to earn/receive love is by performing violence, it's pretty reasonable that a 10 year old would try to go above and beyond to earn their new father's love (especially for a child like Damian whose always looking for that unconditional love he's been denied)

From Damian's perspective here he's being the best son anyone could want, he's doing the most past the point he'd be expected to and only being met with anger and disgust. Not to mention that from his view he's literally ensuring his safety since once again in the league Damian was one of the only people whose safety was ensured by proxy of him being the heir/favourite, we literally see them kill other leaguers as part of training.

Like this isn't to excuse what he did or say it's right but it is to point out that it WAS right from Damian's point of view and that he doesn't do what he does out of malice or blood thirst he's just a small child who quite literally didn't know any better.

(also him being mean is similarly a self defense thing, it's fairly common in abused kids. It's the logic of you can't hurt me if I hurt you first/you can't hurt me if I don't let you get close enough)

#damian wayne #honestly i feel like most ppl have only ever read his introduction and it shows #so while we're here read his run with Dick's batman and also born to kill #also supersons and gotham academy bc omg wholesome #batfamily #batfam #fandom #fandom analysis #meta #slightlyslothspeaks #dc #dc robin #damian al ghul #tbh too damians canon personality is already pique comedy without just making him a murder baby #boy is literally just a tsundere #like no he wont say outright that he likes maps and hanging out with her #but he will set up an entire scavenger hunt and detective game AS ROBIN to gift her a first edition D&D book #i think what im trying to say here is just that Damian's main love language is gift giving and acts of service

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homenecromancer · 1 year

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just finished assembling a Denny’s order for two characters in 1991 and boy do I have comments

1. my god it is so painful to try and find old menus online sometimes, i had to settle for one from 1996 :|

2. the whole thing is like… fifteen bucks or so, food and drinks, and the thoughts entangled with that realization have me reminiscing about going to diners in high school, and the total for like four people being just insanely cheap by today’s standards

3. this scene, i guess, is in a way me honoring those hours we spent in lame chain restaurants bullshitting; ive never really set any of it down on paper but i wanna at least try and get the vibe of trying to solve all your life problems over B-grade pancakes. also bc this is 1991 i get to remind all the zoomers that yes, smoking sections in restaurants existed (tbf, they were on their way out when i was a small child, but i still remember them goddammit lol)

4. while trying to find menus I did discover that apparently there are people in this world who, like, go to Denny’s and keep the menu as a souvenir, down to writing the date + who they went with on it. wtf. (and then later either they or their heirs end up selling it). but also thank you bc I can at least read the menu content from sale listing images

#personal

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loliwrites · 2 years

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Ok so -- per the Friday night sleepover prompts, I'm going to tell you about my crush. BC I have like.. 3.

guy numero uno: Looks vaguely like Gustaf, DOM with a capital D. VERY much speaks my language sexually but I'm a little intimidated to meet him in person.

guy numero dos: Dog dad (to a Bully breed ANGEL), new in town, Jewish, and my kind of handsome (tall, thick, bearded, sweet smile, V nice hands,. vaguely nerdy). VERY promising. I'm not Jewish, but I've always felt inexplicably connected to the religion even though I typically eschew most modern religions but there's a lot to it that I feel drawn to and respect. And then I found out there's a whole belief about how Jewish converts are believed to be reincarnated souls of formerly Jewish people who are coming home to their people and it felt like "whoa"

guy numero tres: Cat dad (but she's V cute.. excellent whiskers, seems to be the boss of him in the best way). Lives in the same city as my two best friends. Goofy & seems to be a hardworker, very nice green eyes.

So anyway, I'm basically a giggly teenaged girl every time my phone goes off.

Charlie, yesssssss! I love all of this for you. Literally beaming with pride over here 🖤🖤

Perhaps guy numero tres is the most attainable, BUT may I present to you, my top runner, Jewish boy numero dos.

And you’re right! Converts to Judaism are seen as more holy than people who are born Jewish because the process of converting is made so difficult. Traditionally, people seeking to convert will be turned away from a rabbi 3 times before being allowed to begin the process. That’s ‘cuz we’re a tribe and unlike practically all other religions, we don’t actively search out new members. You’ll never find a Jew knocking on your door to try and get you to convert.

Perhaps I’m a little biased being Jew-ish (I’m about as secular as you can get while still identifying), but Judaism on the whole tends to be one of the most tolerant religions. Sure we’ve got our own wonky stories and rules. But on the whole, Judaism supports same-sex marriage and LGBTQ+ rights, even in the most conservative groups. People in the non-binary community have found comfort in Judaism’s idea of b’tzelem elohim which says every human is made in the image of God, just as they are, perfect. And what I love most is the Torah only says to love your neighbor once. In the whole text. But it tells you to love and protect a stranger thirty-six times.

Edit: Wanted to add that even the most super Orthodox community supports women’s health and rights. They support abortion if the woman’s life is endangered and sometimes require it if that’s the case. As well as “health” not only being interpreted as physical & reproductive health, but mental health included.

Anywho, that’s my soapbox. Oh, and wish the Jews in your life, Shabbat Shalom tonight. And may you all have a peaceful and restful weekend.

#not a fic #loli rambles #asked #ask loli #hausofobsession #sleepover saturday #loli ama

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diaryofanormalkid · 2 years

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What’s on my mind?

A he. Him. We can call him sweaty hands for reasons that shall not be named. I don’t necessarily find this code name ideal, but I think it’s probably one of my most clever code names to date.

If you think about it, it’s actually a quite simple code to crack, given you know a few context clues about him. Nonetheless, we shall stick to this code name. Yeah so he’s always at the back of my mind.

I think it’s because I desire a boyfriend/husband so bad, like I always want to have someone in mind if I create fake scenarios. But lately that’s been dangerous. Like I want to do them, but I shouldn’t!

I don’t like the idea that I’m just creating this image of him in my head that’s far from the truth. Then, when it comes to actually getting to interact with him, it’s just like I blindsided my own self.

I’ve only ever really gotten to encounter him in one setting for a long period of time. It was enough to make me ponder of him this whole time, so I feel like we hit it off. I can’t help but shake the feeling.

It was like peaceful butterflies, a rush of calm attraction? Hard to explain. I was attracted to him, but I could also contain my cool? I still was freaking out inside… but my poker face was solid.

I love to imagine he felt the same, but more intense. Like he couldn’t resist me with every second that passed by. The more time he spent with me, the more he realized I was his it girl.

And the later it got into the day, the more he was around and made himself available to me. The attention he gave and initiation was something unfamiliar for myself.

Idk if that’s what made him stand out? That set him apart from other guys for sure. Bc it wasn’t just one thing, it was a bunch in a few hours. Not even a whole day, ya know?

Like I can’t tell if that was in his character to do those things or if he was trying to be chivalrous and romantic because he wanted to express his interest in me?

I don’t know enough about him to tell the difference. I guess what I’m trying to say is I really would’ve love to spend more time with him to get to know him!

If he asked me on a date, I think I definitely would’ve said yes, even in that moment! Because I felt a spark. I don’t necessarily know if he felt it too, but I really hope so.

To me, he didn’t really have any motives to go out of his way to treat me and talk to me the way he did, so that’s what’s making me think he might’ve been interested.

And then on top of that, we act so similar! Like I feel like our personalities are so alike in many ways. Multiple ppl made comments that he is so hyper.

My family comments on how I’m super hyper too at times. So I noted that. He was speaking different languages even. And was competitive when we played cards, like me.

He is also quiet at times. I don’t agree that this was one of those times. But I always used to question how he could be that quiet at previous events/occasions.

I am usually very quiet at first when I’m forced into an uncomfortable/unfamiliar situation. He also has a mysterious side to him. Goes hand-in-hand with his quietness.

I like to think I’m mysterious myself bc I don’t really open up to people that easily. I’m not what ppl call an “open book.” Most times I don’t reveal info unless ppl ask me to.

And even then, more times than not, I’m super private about particular things because I just don’t believe all things need to be ppl’s business.

All this being said, I still don’t know a lot about him. But I definitely saw a different side of him that day that I was surprisingly attracted to and wanted to get to know.

I still don’t know where his values lie in terms of his spiritual life and beliefs and morals. Which are big for me, especially if they differ. Is he a lukewarm Christian?

Is he a true, practicing man of God? Can he lead me to Christ? How often does he go to church? How often does he read his Bible? Pray?

Like how does he want to raise his kids? How many kids does he want? Does he even want kids? Does he believe in waiting until marriage? Is he pro-life?

Ya know there are big things I would like to ask and know! But I do like the fact that I’m attracted to him. I would say looks and personality were a joint effort.

He was never an ugly guy before. It’s just, I couldn’t even imagine myself with him before because I never knew anything about him or his personality.

But after interacting with him that day and seeing his personality blossom when he was around people he was comfortable with, opened my eyes to the full package.

He’s the real deal if I can check off a few things about him that I think are absolutely essential in a man that I want. It would’ve been nice if I got to find out if I what I wonder about him is actually true before I left.

I was really hoping there would be some sort of reaching out on his end. I would’ve felt like all my feelings were confirmed at least. Knowing that he actually felt something in return!

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spencersawkward · 3 years

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*concussions and confessions//spencer reid*

summary: a near-death experience encourages Spencer to admit his feelings for his best friend, even at the risk of ruining their relationship.

pairing: Fem!Reader/Spencer

content warnings: oh boy there’s a lot. i’ll start with the nonsexual ones-- choking (again, not sexual), blunt force, violence, some angst. ok time for the fun ones-- unprotected penetrative sex, masturbation, sex dream, oral (male receiving), slight dirty talk, creampie. lmk if there are more that i missed!

word count: 5.4k

A/N: hi omg so i actually combined two requests for this bc i loved the concepts and i didn't wanna do one and not the other. i hope i do both of these justice hehe thanks for sending them! also sorry if the unsub scene sucks-- i don’t usually write that way, so i tried my best.

request(s): omg if you need ideas for baby spence can you do a one shot where he's the girls best friend (she's not in the bau) and they are in love but neither of them admit it and he is really hurt in a case or almost dies or something traumatic and only when he gets back they confess their love... and then have sex 😏 ive been thinking about this concept alot 😌

can’t stop thinking about baby spencer (like s2-s4) & his girl best friend losing their virginity to each other... can you write a one shot on this please?

masterlist

"when are you coming back?" you ask over the line. you're lying on your bed, legs in the air while you talk to your best friend. it's been a long day for you, but a longer day for him. it's always a longer day for him.

"you know that I don't know the answer to that question." Spencer's voice is soft as he attempts to keep quiet. he's two hours ahead and, despite the fact that you're both night owls, the person he's rooming with tonight isn't.

"I know, but there's this Korean film festival that starts tomorrow and I was hoping you would be here to translate for me." you examine your nails while you talk. Spencer lets out a disappointed sigh.

it's only been a few days since he left, but it's been a week since you last saw him and it feels like a long time. whenever he's not at work, you two are joined at the hip. ever since you first met a few years back at a poetry convention in DC, it feels like he's the only person who understands you. which is weird, because you couldn't be more different as individuals.

"you should bring one of your other friends."

"bold of you to assume I have other friends." you joke. Spencer chuckles to himself and your heart flutters. you love his laugh more than anything in the world.

"I thought that was just me." he says.

"oh, it is just you," you reply flatly. "I was trying to make you feel better."

you can practically feel Spencer smiling through the phone. although you tease him pretty frequently, he's sometimes able to get in his own shots. it's what makes your friendship interesting.

"hey," you add before he can say anything more. "how's the case going?"

Spence starts to detail the whole thing, and you listen intently, the timbre and smoothness of his voice comforting you as you slip beneath the covers of your bed. you like the way he enunciates his words, his strange manner of speaking, because it lulls you to sleep.

you know he's talking about horrible things, but something about the sound comforts you deeply. when he's not around, you're wishing you had it bottled up.

he lays out their profile as it stands, and you fall silent. it's getting pretty late and you have to be up early for work tomorrow, so it would be a good idea to get some real rest. plus, Spencer needs to sleep, too-- even though he probably won't.

you remember times when he'd call you at three in the morning, his mind whirring as he played chess against himself and asked if you wanted to hang out so he could teach you how. you hate chess, but of course you said yes; you'd been head over heels with him since your first conversation.

eventually, you feel yourself start to drift off. you don't even really know what he's saying; all of it blends together until you're laying there, one cheek pressed to the pillow and the receiver against the other.

"Y/N?" he says your name abruptly and your eyes, which have been slowly drawing shut this whole time, fly open.

"yeah?"

"go to bed."

"what? no, I'll wait until you're done." you shift.

"I could hear your breathing change."

"then why didn't you just hang up?" you giggle. he goes silent for a moment and you wonder if he cut out, but then he responds.

"I wanted to say goodnight."

it's like a cage of butterflies is unleashed in your stomach. you wrinkle your nose as you get nervous. god, you miss him. things would be so much better if he was back. not like he'd be in your bed even if he was, though.

"then say goodnight." you prod. he lets out an awkward little sound.

"now I can't because you made it weird."

"how did I make it weird?"

"I don't know, you just did." he's so clumsy, your face heats up. you want to keep talking like this until morning.

"goodnight, Spence," the words sound reluctant, but you try to cover it up by teasing him further. "see, was that so bad?"

"oh my god, Y/N--" he tries to sound exasperated.

"no goodnight back?" you raise an eyebrow even though he can't see you right now.

a lengthy silence again. "goodnight."

"that's what I thought." before he can protest, you end the call, settle into the covers. moonlight beams on the walls of your apartment, and you start to think about your best friend. about all the nights spent curled up on his couch with two bowls of popcorn, his ramblings about how much he loves his job and him asking about yours.

he's a great listener. every time you talk, he nods along like he's hanging off every word. it's nice to feel heard that way, to have someone care. and he's fun to hang out with, too. you've met his team before and they all talk about how hard it is to get him to go out, but they don't see the same side of him that you do.

Spencer is nerdy and cute and kind and sensitive. he makes you feel special. he's everything that you've ever wanted in a person. but it's not like it would matter, anyway. he hasn't really shown interest in any girls-- much less you. even if he did, you're scared of ruining the friendship.

the fallout of not having him around at all... it would destroy you. and something, even if it's torturous, is better than nothing.

which is why, as you sit there and remember being around him, your fingertips creep below the comforter. a familiar routine, they move over your stomach, until they reach the waistband of your panties. for a moment, you hesitate. it's wrong. he's your best friend. but he doesn't need to know that this is how you handle the ache he puts between your legs.

as your index finger slides down your slit, you feel the wetness already forming. Spencer's hands, his mouth. the thought of his lips pressed to yours while he fucks you, holding your body like it's delicate.

you don't know exactly how it would feel because you've never had sex, but you want to find out with him. he's never done it, either. you don't care; all you need is to have him inside of you, to see how he looks when he's on the edge.

your mind wanders to the image of him parting your legs and rolling his eyes into the back of his head. the sensation of him filling you up. falling apart.

you slide a finger inside, gasping at the way your walls tighten and your imagination runs wild. that tongue, lapping and making you squirm, your fingers twisted in his soft hair. he's so sweet; his attentiveness would make your legs shake. you want to look into his eyes while he does it.

you add a second finger, curl them and brush over the most sensitive part. the pressure of his hips grinding into yours. your body curves up at the way you start to finger yourself, the other hand stimulating your clit. it's almost overwhelming, the way his name tumbles from your lips over and over.

you've never wanted someone so badly in your life; he belongs in your bloodstream. the sounds he would make in your ear before finally cumming and collapsing on top of you, spent. you want to tire him out and then do it all over again.

you're greedy on the edge, indulging in every single image of him you can conjure up, every dirty thing you'd say. finally, you feel yourself fall, the orgasm intense as you bite back groans of pleasure and work through the high. it's amazing.

you sit there, panting, feeling your heart beat in your chest. some things can't leave your head, they're so sinful. and the worst part is that you don't regret it in the slightest.

...

Spencer can feel his pulse practically leaping against his throat as he makes his way through the empty warehouse. he should have waited for backup; he knows he should have, but it's too late now to go back and change things.

he clutches his gun, pointing it in front of him while his eyes flicker wildly across the space. he's moving between enormous aisles stuffed with crates, not knowing who else is around. they said the unsub brought his newest victim here-- Spencer came first because was closest to the site-- but he hears nothing aside from the uneven rhythm of his own breath.

every step is careful. he's thinking about how close the rest of the team must be. based on their distance from the station, they should arrive within six minutes-- but that doesn't account for the time it takes to put on their bulletproof vests, to get to their cars.

truthfully, he doesn't know if he's going to have to do this on his own. and that scares him the most.

there's no point in worrying. he swallows the lump in his throat and presses his back to one of the crates. there's a scraping noise a ways off that causes him to freeze. because of the echoes of the warehouse, the origin is indiscernible. he doesn't breathe, eyes darting between each of the openings into the aisle.

after a minute of pure silence, he peels himself away and turns to head back out.

and that's when the sound of wood cracking against bone startles him; he hears it before he feels it, but it's obvious when he crumples to the floor. like knife points pressing into his brain at all angles, the shooting agony in his skull.

he starts to clutch at his head, only to be yanked off the ground by a meaty hand and thrown against the side of a crate.

"fucking feds." the guy is enormous. gargantuan. he keeps his arm across Reid's throat, pressing down enough to restrict his airway. but Spencer can't even concentrate on the guy's face further than its rough outlines. his vision is going in and out, fuzzy at the edges from the blow to his head.

he definitely has a concussion.

"I..." he trails off. the huge FBI logo on his vest is a dead giveaway.

"all alone?" the unsub has breath like rotten fish, spits each word into his face. "I won't even need my gun."

Spencer's head lolls to the side and he catches sight of his own weapon lying helplessly a few feet away. there's no way he could get to it in time, even if he got out of this guy's chokehold.

he tries to think of a way to talk himself out of this; after all, their profile said he'd be more susceptible to negotiation, but that's kind of hard to do with someone's forearm slammed against your trachea. he presses harder and Spencer sees stars. his glasses hang almost off the bridge of his nose, centimeters from falling to the floor.

he starts to realize that he's going to die, defenseless and alone, in a warehouse. at the hands of a man who kills women because his Viagra doesn't work. but this doesn't incite the kind of panic Spencer always predicted he'd feel. the lack of oxygen in his brain causes him to go delirious.

he misses home. his mom and his old house, even though things were hard. he misses Y/N, his team members. he wishes his team was here; he should have waited for them. he should have told Y/N how he feels. now she's never going to know.

Reid is so out of it, he doesn't even notice the pressure being relieved from his throat until he collapses on the ground. the unsub falls, too, his cheek smashed by the force of the abandoned wooden plank.

it's hard to tell what's happening until Reid lifts his head to see Morgan standing above him, preparing to handcuff the criminal.

"kid," Spencer never thought he'd be so glad to hear his voice. "what happened?"

...

you practically crash into Spencer's apartment the next evening, flinging your body through the front door with your spare key.

"Spence?" you call out from the entryway. everything still looks the same, but when his colleague, Penelope, called you today to tell you that Reid had gotten a concussion after a run-in with an unsub, you rushed here as soon as you could.

"in here." he calls from his bedroom. you don't hesitate, your feet carrying you there. you've been anxious all day; he didn't call last night or even text like usual. you were on the verge of panicking when Penelope called.

of course, you knew that was the risk with Spencer. he knew the risk, too. his life would always be in the balance when it came to the cases, but he'd gone through so many at this point, you weren't thinking about it. if you did, you wouldn't be able to focus on anything else.

when you walk in, the first thing you see is Spencer laying in bed in his silk pjs. there's a stack of unread books on his bedside table. his glasses sit on top. he's just laying there with his eyes closed.

"oh my god." you mutter, dropping your bag on the floor and walking over. he opens his eyes with a slight smile. there's a purple bruise forming across his throat, light but definitely there.

"hi."

"what the fuck happened?" you ask the question you've been wondering the whole way here.

"he hit me with a plank." Spencer explains, the phrase coming out like he's still confused about it. "I'm fine, just a mild concussion and a bruise because he choked me."

you take a second to assess if he actually means that he's okay, or if he's trying not to worry you. he stares at your expression for a second.

"Y/N, I'm really fine."

"you don't look fine." you gesture to the fact that he's laying in bed.

"my body is sore, but nothing's wrong with me. I just can't look at screens or read." this last part makes him much more melancholy, it seems. you reach down and ruffle his hair playfully.

"sounds like a nightmare."

"it is." he cracks up.

"I'm glad you're okay." you sigh. your heart rate has slowed to a reasonable pace now that you know he's fine. Spencer gives a ghost of a smile, and when he pats the empty spot on the bed beside him, you kick off your shoes and climb over his body to sit down. "so... did you guys get him?"

"the unsub?" he turns his head to look at you. something is in his eyes that you can't read. "yeah, he's in custody. we saved the girl he abducted, too."

"well, aren't you a hero?" you grin, pinching his arm.

"ow!" he flinches. "don't hurt the patient."

"oh, so now you're injured?" you giggle softly. his smile fades a bit, gaze trailing from your face to your legs. it isn't lustful or anything, more like he's taking in your existence. it still makes your heart flutter.

"I wasn't really a hero, anyway," he sighs. "I got knocked down before I even found her."

"oof." you wince.

"yeah, it's sort of embarrassing. I went in by myself and--"

"you went by yourself?" you clarify, turning to face him. of course he did.

"yeah." he avoids your gaze.

"Spencer, I work in a stationery shop and I know you're supposed to wait for backup." you deadpan. he snorts, staring straight ahead at the wall. his hair is flat in the back from where he's been resting it against the headboard.

"he would have hurt her if I had waited." he explains. your heart softens a bit at this. you know Spencer has a problem with saving people; sometimes he doesn't think things through. but you know that it's only because he cares.

you smile gently, appreciating what a beautiful person he is. you don't understand how other people don't see him how you do. your hand reaches for his suddenly, and you find yourself snuggling into his shoulder.

Spencer doesn't usually like touch, but he welcomes this, dropping his own head to rest on top of yours while you both stare at the wall. his silence feels heavy, more than it usually does, and you wonder what he's thinking.

"I'm really glad you're okay, Spencer." your tone is low, like it's a secret.

"you already said that."

"shut up."

"you care about me." he sing-songs with a smile, and you know he means it in a friendly way, but you don't care. it brings warmth to your cheeks.

"whatever. you care about me, too."

he lets out a slight chuckle. "when I started to black out, I thought of you."

your heart leaps, even though the reason is pretty dark. "oh, yeah?"

"mhmm." he hums.

"nobody's ever told me that they thought of me in their last moments of life before." you tease. there are so many things you'd like to say, but know you can't. he smells like himself and coffee beans, his skin warm beneath the silk of his pajamas.

"I'd hope not."

"anything in particular?" you wonder aloud.

"what?" you feel him tense beneath you, and that's how you know there's something he's not telling you.

"were you thinking about anything in particular?"

"someone's full of themselves." he jokes. you smack his arm.

"humor me." more than anything, you want to hear his thoughts. you know you're reaching, but you don't care.

"just..." he pauses, the next words coming out almost too quietly to hear. "things I never got to say to you."

"like?" now you're intrigued.

"no way." he laughs and you groan, turning and realizing that you've both sunk deeper onto the bed and are now practically lying down.

"c'mon," you prod. you've flipped onto your side while you watch him, his eyes directed at the ceiling. "what if you'd actually died?"

Spencer gives you a look, and you wish you could snap a picture of his face. the gentle features, the warmth in his eyes. he stares at you differently than before, and it makes your stomach flip again. "I, um."

you start to trace your index absently down his forearm, where his sleeve has incidentally gotten rolled up. his skin is soft. you know that this isn't a friendly thing to do, but something inside you craves his touch right now. you almost lost him; you can't imagine how horrible that would be.

"I wanted to say that I--" he gulps, muscles in his shoulder tight beneath your cheek. "well, I care about you, and I... I really love you."

it's not the first time he's said it, obviously in a platonic sense. what affects you is that he's acting like it's a big deal.

"I love you too, Spence." you smile softly. his chest rises and falls faster, his face tensed.

"no, I mean--" he turns onto his side, using the action to distract from his own nervousness. he holds your gaze and you forget how to breathe as he speaks. every syllable is serious, but you note his fingers fidgeting at his side. "I'm in love with you."

it's like all the air in the room has been sucked out. you swallow, unsure of how to react at first. you don't believe what you're hearing, simply because it doesn't make sense. you've been friends for a while, now, but Spencer has never made a move to ask you out or acted like he wanted anything more.

your heart swells.

"you're in love with me?" the words even feel surreal on your tongue. he takes it as rejection.

"I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." Spencer rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, his expression turning to a cringe. he's about to sit up to hide the red in his cheeks, but you pull him back down by the shoulder.

"not so fast, crazy boy." the corners of your mouth are turning up into a grin. you can't help it; every nerve in your body is alive. Spencer loves you. he feels the same way.

when he sinks back down onto the mattress and sighs, preparing to say something that rescinds the statement to erase any awkwardness, you grab his face and turn it to yours. you don't kiss him, only force him to look.

"I'm in love with you, too."

his eyebrows fly up in surprise. "r-really?"

"yes." you nod.

he takes a second to process this. you see about five different expressions pass over his face, each one reminding you of how earnest he is. and it's absolutely adorable.

"well, that's good, isn't it?" he clarifies. you pretend to think on it.

"I'd say so, yeah."

he smiles. a genuine, rare one that makes your veins feel as if they're full of glitter. you're on Cloud 9.

"can I kiss you?" you ask him quietly. he seems surprised at this, too, like he never thought you'd want that, but then nods eagerly.

you close the gap between you on the bed, holding his jaw in one hand while the other rests on his forearm. your lips meet softly at first. he's cautious, scared of pushing you away. he hasn't kissed many people before. but he's good at it, letting you take the lead.

there's no way to adequately describe kissing Spencer. every bone in your body turns to mush, immediately craving more contact. you slide your tongue across his full bottom lip, and he lets you in. his affection is the most loved you've ever felt. because sure, you haven't had sex, but you've kissed people before.

never like this.

one of his hands goes up to wrap around your forearm tenderly before he shifts to lie on his side. you wrap around each other, turning the kiss into a full-body embrace as you breathe in. you want more. your leg swings over his torso so you can pull yourself closer, and he groans into your mouth when your pelvis presses against his.

the kiss gets more heated, his hands carefully but hungrily traveling down the curve of your waist. you flip so that you're straddling him without breaking any contact.

you don't really think about the way your hips begin to rock against his, your pussy involuntarily working for friction. there are so many happy chemicals in your brain right now, you giggle against his mouth when his body bucks up into yours. he groans.

"Y/N..." he breathes softly. his hands move from your waist to your thighs, afraid to dig his fingertips in.

"what?" you sigh, licking over his bottom lip again. he moans at the way you keep grinding on his erection.

"I wanna--" his eyelashes flutter when he gasps. "I wanna touch you."

"do it." your palm is resting tenderly against his cheek. he responds by finally holding you down, sliding his body up a bit to grind against your center. you whine. "touch whatever you want, Spencer."

his cock twitches in his pants and you push the hem of his shirt up while he uses one hand to massage your tits. the voracious, curious nature of his attention makes you sigh, touching his stomach. he feels perfect beneath you.

soon you're grabbing at each other without any regard for grace. he's so horny, he's pawing at whatever he can while you do the same to him. the kissing gives way to straight panting while you look at each other.

"can I suck your dick?" you whisper. Spencer's eyes widen. you've never seen him nod so fast.

you press your mouth to his one more time before inching down his body, sucking on his clavicle, then his stomach. careful to avoid the purple marks on his neck. he watches you intently, memorizing the details of this moment for later. when you reach the waistband of his pants, you peek up. he strains against the material.

your mouth drops open and you draw your tongue over the clothed bulge, maintaining eye contact. Spencer throws his head back. his voice is high. "oh my god, oh my god."

you smirk, licking it again. he clenches his jaw. "I'm gonna c-cum if you don't--" he tries for words, but he's mewling and moving against your mouth. you pull at his pants, hooking your fingers in his boxers and bringing them down, too.

Spencer bucks into the air when his cock hits his stomach. it's big, precum leaking helplessly out of the tip while he whines. you want him now.

"wow." you smile. he stares at you, tensing his stomach as you wrap your hand around his length. he's trying to keep quiet, but as soon as you spit on it and start to pump him, his head falls back into the pillow.

you draw your tongue up the underside, paying special attention to the veins, reveling in his reactions. he looks like he's ascending to heaven when you start to suck on the first couple inches.

"o-oh, fuck..." he keeps moving his hips off the bed for more, so you sink down further onto him, hollowing your cheeks and moaning. "Y/N..."

you groan in response, feeling yourself get wetter with every sound he makes. you can't believe this is happening, the way he threads his fingers loosely through your hair in an attempt to touch more of you.

he tries to keep his eyes open while you suck, but they squint with pleasure. he's a mess for you, shuddering gently when you take nearly all of him into your mouth.

before he can cum, you pull your mouth off of him with a satisfying pop. Spencer moans.

"was that okay?" you ask carefully. this is the extent of your sexual experience, and you want to do more with him, but you aren't sure how he feels. your best friend stares back at you like you've turned his world upside down.

"y-yeah," he replies. his face is flushed. "definitely okay."

he's throbbing, occasionally twitching against his stomach as he waits for more stimulation. you eye him carefully.

"what do you feel comfortable doing?" your voice is smooth. "we can stop now, if you'd like."

"I--" he chokes on the word. "I don't wanna stop."

"do you want to have sex?" you ask. Spencer bites his lip, whines.

"mhmm."

"I wanna do that, too," you breathe out, straightening up and pulling your shirt over your head, unclasping your bra, before getting to work on your shorts. you know you're practically dripping. he's been more vocal, but you feel like you're going to implode from the desire. "but I need to tell you something."

"what?" he tugs your arm, coaxing you back to him and touching you greedily. you giggle as you kick your shorts and panties off somewhere in the room. both of you move like awkward teenagers.

"I'm a virgin." you say.

Spencer frowns. "really?"

"yeah," you lick your lips. "so you need to be careful."

"o-of course." he blushes, getting nervous again. "you know I'm a virgin too, right?"

"I know." you smile. he returns it sweetly, and the commotion of your bodies slows for a moment. you're so happy, you could cry.

"what?" he breaks the comfortable silence.

"I'm excited," you shrug. he's got his hands on your waist, rubbing his fingertips over your skin. then you remember something. "wait, are you allowed to have sex with your... injury?"

"it's fine." he reaches up and kisses your throat with an urgency.

"did the doctor say that?" your eyes roll while he sucks on your neck. he groans and pulls down on your waist so that your stomach presses against his cock. he ruts.

"second opinion from me." he pants. you tap his cheek playfully, move up his body until your core brushes him. he whimpers when you reach between your bodies and grip his length in your hands.

"you ready?" your voice is low. Spencer squeezes your thighs, eyes moving between your tits and your face.

"yes." he sighs. you position it, slicking him in your pussy while he wraps an arm around your waist and moans for more. your chests are pressed together, looking into each other's eyes while you slide him into you.

you have to go slow, the intrusion causing your jaw to drop. you don't breathe. he's got his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"Spencer." you whimper, dropping your head onto his chest when he's fully inside of you. his fingers rub patiently over your back.

"are you okay?" his voice is laced with a moan, trying to resist thrusting.

"yeah, just a second." you wiggle a little bit to test the boundaries. it hurts, but it also feels good. your clit is begging for more pressure, so you start to roll your hips. Reid moans loudly.

"Y/N..." he whimpers. "don't stop."

"you want more?" the need in his voice makes you hornier, and you increase the pace, despite the slight pain. you're so wet, he slides in and out without much effort.

"so-- much more." he's gasping, hands on your thighs as he watches your naked body writhe on top of him. he's never been more aroused in his life, spurred on by your scent and form and the tightness that keeps clenching around his cock.

he understands why people love sex so much, now. he wants it every day, wants to fuck you in every position and pleasure you. the sounds you release in his ear, whines and praises, he would do anything for more. walk to the ends of the earth to feel you cum on his cock.

his hand finds your ass, squeezes it.

"this feel good, Spence? fucking your best friend?" you talk dirty and he twitches. you're always so sweet, the words coming out of your mouth for him are going to send the genius into a tailspin.

"mhmm," he holds you down so that he can thrust up. speaking at all is a struggle with the way he's feeling. "perfect."

you start to say something else, but he hits a certain angle and you let out a quiet yelp, hips jumping at the pleasure. "I'm gonna cum."

Spencer gets a rush of relief because it's taking everything in him right now not to absolutely lose it inside your pussy. he's hanging on by a thread. "me, too."

you use your position on top to stimulate yourself. both of you chase your orgasms roughly, the rhythm you created degenerating into clawing excitement.

"cum inside me, Spencer." you beg him. it sounds like you would do anything to feel it, that sensation that you've never experience but have always imagined. and Spencer, his own head foggy with ecstasy, nods and opens his mouth to let out a loud groan.

"Y/N, fuck fuck fuck-- I'm--" he shoots his load inside of you, rutting wildly and letting his head drop onto the pillow while he pants. you can feel it. strange, lovely jolts of his seed spreading. your hands, which have been resting on his shoulders, tighten and you reach your climax. you flutter around him, both of you still moving to ease the intensity of the high.

it's remarkable. you're crying out, having the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life. you never thought your first time would be like this. but you're glad it is, muscles tightening and releasing with the mixture of emotions.

you collapse fully, him still inside.

neither of you speaks. his heartbeat thuds against your ear, and you hold onto him like letting go would be the end of the world. you can't believe you could have lost him. you don't want to think about it.

"sorry I came so fast." Spencer apologizes breathlessly. you can feel his cum dripping down your entrance when he slides out.

"I don't care." you mumble. both of you stay there for a while, his heartbeat changing to a pace that reminds you of genuine excitement. like a hummingbird.

"we can try again, sometime." he offers. you lift your head to rest your chin on his chest. his skin is flushed, pupils dilated, hair messy. such a pretty boy.

"we should try multiple times."

he gives you a cheerful smile, and everything starts to fall into place. you took each other's virginity. "Y/N?"

he likes to say your name, and you love to hear it. "yes?"

"are we dating?" the bluntness of the question makes you giggle. you don't hesitate.

"yeah."

“good.”

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed!): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm @xoxomgg

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #baby spence #mgg #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fic #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler

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haztory · 3 years

Note

hi mcdonald’s can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nanami + “nice tits”

“Nice tits.” from my writing event that ends today!

warnings: adult language and sexual themes, but that’s about it!

a/n: 3k words all for sanju that probably strays from the prompts but its fine bc i love you biiiiitch. thanks to everyone that requested a prompt! they will be out momentarily!!

nanami kento x gn!reader

There’s a universal understanding amongst the adults in the general realm of well-formed maturity and a sense of responsibility that there is no situation to ever exist in which listening to Gojo Satoru’s advice is a viable option.

Much less any advice about love.

“You know,” His voice sings to your left, interrupting the tranquil silence of your office by his surprise warping, “If you needed help in satisfying your urges, you only had to ask. Looking at porn during school hours is a bit of a cry for help, (Y/N).”

“Go away, Gojo.” You reply, hardly perturbed at his unannounced visit and continuing the matter at hand. Your index finger continues its motions, pushing the wheel of the mouse downwards and studying the plethora of Google Search images the float past your eyes on your computer monitor.

Gojo leans his elbow on your desk, perching himself on the left side of your body, “Hey, I don’t judge! I’ve done it once or twice myself. I just always pictured you as more of an ass-person.”

Landing on an appropriate image for your task you click it, enlarging it on your screen. Gojo whistles.

“Now that’s just obscene, isn’t it?”

A finger enters your line of sight, pointing itself obnoxiously at the screen, specifically at the rather large pectoral belonging to that of a male model. An image that is necessary for your study of a new cursed technique that you witnessed on your last excursion with Nobara, and not at all the focus of sexual release as Gojo might insist. Even if they are rather admirable in their size.

You would rather die before ever telling him that, though.

“They should really put a warning on those honkers—”

“Is there a reason you’re bothering me?” You ask bluntly, printing the image and retrieving it from the printer tray beside you.

“I just wanted to see what my second favorite teacher was doing, but never did I think I would catch you in the act of making a shrine to tits, so—”

You roll your head to the left, meeting Gojo’s shit-eating grin with a deadpan stare. With a sigh, you shake your head, “I’m studying.”

Even beneath the blindfold, you can see the waggle in his brows as he props his head on the bent elbow. “Oh suuure.”

Huffing impatiently, you swivel your desk chair to face him, placing a singular finger on his chest to push him back from your immediate space. He only continues to grin in his usual unabashed manner, as though he’s caught you red-handed. It makes you roll your eyes once more.

You didn’t need to explain yourself; it wasn’t like you were doing anything immoral. Sure, staring at a number of pectoral muscles might seem inappropriate to the passing eye, but it was easily explainable.

But as it always is with Gojo, he manages to rub that small part of you that just has to fight back. Fuckin’ prick. “We came across a cursed technique two days ago that targeted the chest. It caused—”

Gojo waves his hand in your face, “Seismic tremors in the pectoral muscles that affected a cursed energy point, yeah, yeah. Nobara told me all about it.”

“If you knew what I was doing why are you making me sound like such a creep?!” You exclaim, kicking his chest with the heel of your shoe. He catches your foot with a laugh, dropping it and holding his index finger upward.

“Because it’s fun to tease you.”

Huffing, you turn back to your monitor and point at the door, “Leave.”

“Oh, come onnn,” He warps in front of your computer, leaning himself over the top of the screen, “I’ve brought you a little gift of knowledge to help your studying.”

Even as he desperately tries to insert his gangly arms into your line of vision, you continue typing into the search bar. Some variations of “pectoral”, “muscles”, and “large men”. For research purposes, of course.

“Oh yeah?” You ask noncommittally, knowing full well the manner in which Gojo dangles his plots of mischief disguised as help, “And what would that be?”

Smiling largely once more, he lets out a giggle, “The larger the muscle, the more potent the attack on the cursed energy.”

Sparing him a quick glance, you mumble, “Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.”

“No, but it does take a genius to figure out how to reverse the effects.”

He stops the statement there; grin audible in his words. After having spent years in the presence of the obnoxious Gojo Satoru, you already know there’s an ulterior motive to his words, something that is going to bite you in the ass rather aggressively.

And as much as you want to avoid being in the line of fire, especially the one directed by him, you’re simultaneously dying to know where this is going.

You hesitate to ask, but it comes out. Dripping in all of its cautiousness. “And?”

“And it also takes a willing participant to study.” His smile, in all impossibility, became even wider.

“I’m still not getting the picture.”

“A participant with rather large pectoral muscles.”

Oh.

Oh no.

“Someone who would willingly participate for the sake of education.”

Of all the people to have figured out about your (not so) little crush on a fellow sorcerer, it had to be the world’s largest idiot and nuisance. You had to end this, now. Before he does something so irrevocably stupid—

“Shall we go ask Nanami?”

And that’s how you find yourself flushed with absolute mortification, gripping your clipboard with tight knuckles against your chest, wondering how you ever managed to forget the utmost important rule when it comes to Gojo Satoru.

Never listen to him, especially on the matter of love.

Maybe that’s indicative of the state of your crush as a whole, something you should probably pay more attention to, seeing as the minute Nanami Kento was mentioned, you’ve forgotten the extent of logic and reason and followed the whims of Gojo without hesitation.

It’s problematic, horrifying, and ultimately a monumental issue at the moment considering your mouth is as dry as a desert and your brain absolute mush, rendering you completely unable to formulate any words.

“Wow, Nanami,” Gojo shamelessly says, one hand shoved in his pocket as he stands beside your frozen figure, “Nice tits.”

Nanami hums unenthusiastically, unbuttoning the last button on his blue shirt and elegantly removing it from his large, muscular frame. Folding it neatly on the expanse of the couch beside him, he turns his stoic gaze back to you, hardly even concerned about his half-nakedness.

Whereas you felt yourself almost drooling at the revealed expanse of firm muscles peppered with sparse hair. The fact that it was that easy to get to see this, to almost be able to touch it—

Maybe listening to Gojo isn’t a bad idea after all.

“Shall we begin?” Nanami asks, pulling his glasses off of his face with his (large) hands and folding them on top of his shirt. A strand of blond falls onto the front of his face and his gaze trails from the impassive stare at Gojo, to you.

And by all that is sweet and holy you swear that you’ve ascended to an ethereal plane and before you sits an angel waiting to take you to the pearly gates. No longer stares a man unamused at the teasing of the white-headed idiot beside you, but instead a celestial being with a body made of pure stone and dare you say, looking at you with a tenderness in his gaze that was absent only a moment before.

An elbow digs into your side, pulling you rather dramatically out of your stupor and towards the smug grin of the man beside you.

“Well?” Gojo asks, “If you’re not going to touch him, I will.”

“Thank you, Gojo, but I can take it from here,” You all but hiss, pushing him once more away from your body, accompanying the action with a pointed glare. Beginning a backward trek towards the door, he holds his hands up in surrender.

“Alright, alright. I can see when I’m not wanted. I’ll be back in half an hour.”

Opening the door and stepping out of it, he halts, turning his head to look over his shoulder and says, voice coated in that familiar tone of teasing, “Remember to use condoms, lovebirds!”

He shuts the door quickly, hardly giving you a chance to spear your ire at his retreating figure, but you have half a mind to chase him down the hall when you hear his echoing laughter ring out.

An awkward silence settles between you and the man of your horrid fascination that not even an uncomfortable laugh can ease. Clearing your throat and trying to remember your sense of professionalism, you straighten your shoulders and take a deep breath, facing the handsome man with a confidence that was growing incredibly difficult to face.

“I’m going to touch you. For research. Your chest, specifically.”

In a move you’ve never quite seen before, Nanami sheds that formidable air of quiet stoicism and lets a small smile grace the features of his face. It gently pushes against the corners of his mouth and his bare shoulders move the slightest bit with the exhalation of his amused breath.

“For the tremors in the pectoralis.” He says, leaning his body to rest against the backing of the couch, straightening his legs wearing their usual tan slacks to rest naturally in the position and hands folding in his lap.

You gulp. “Y-yes.”

“I read your report.”

“You did?”

“I always do,” With his eyes still trained upon yours you can see them widen a bit at the realization of what he’s said as if that were an intimate detail he hadn’t meant to make you aware of. He quickly brings his fist up to his mouth, clearing his throat, “You are one of the few sorcerers here that fill them out correctly. I learn a great deal from your detailing. It’s… very helpful. You’re very thorough.”

Blinking repeatedly, you only nod at the compliment. Despite wanting to combust internally at the growing flames that burn inside of you, you take a step forward. Then another until, in an unforeseen reversal of circumstances, you’re towering over the man of great strength and respect. The man you’ve admired for the longest time.

The man that continues to stare at you with a softness you’ve never seen him reveal before.

You can see the spattering of freckles that have intricately placed themselves over his broad shoulders resembling that of an artistic constellation and the delicious protruding of his biceps, great in mass yet telling of his of strength as your try to conservatively trail your eyes over his torso.

He’s beautiful, incredibly so. Baring himself to you in this way only affirms that.

“Thank you,” you breathe out, and it’s more intimate than you intended it to be, but truthfully, it’s as fitting a phrase as it can be considering the proximity and the intensity behind his stare.

It’s all you can give him without crumbling at his feet. Placing your fingertips against his shoulder, you gently push him back, silently instructing him to lay on the couch. He follows suit like the dutiful sorcerer he is.

“I’ll just be examining the way in which your cursed energy extends from your chest. It shouldn’t hurt, but if you feel uncomfortable, just let me know.”

He hums once more from his supine position on the couch. Despite being much larger than the couch allows, he hardly looks uncomfortable. Only watches the way in which you press your fingers into his chest, pushing into his muscle and slowly massaging your finger in a circle. You circle around the left side, trailing around the outer edge of the muscle and above the rib cage, stopping and pressing rather firmly when you feel a surge in an energy presence beneath the skin. Almost on the center of his chest.

You snort a quiet laugh when you realize where it is.

“Should I be worried?” His deep timbre vibrates your indented fingers drawing your focus to his interested stare. He looks relaxed, the usual crease between his brow hardly recognizable. A stark refute to the question he posed.

You quickly shake your head, smiling growing wryer, “No, not at all. I just… think it’s funny that your energy presence is strongest where your heart is.”

Nanami quirks an eyebrow, “Isn’t that the same for everyone?”

“Would it be much of a surprise if I told you Gojo’s comes from his mouth?”

Nanami rolls his head, a breathless laugh exhaling as he stares at the ceiling. “No, I guess it wouldn’t.”

“Everyone has a different point from which their energy roots itself. Each one gives a different feeling of sorts. It doesn’t really mean much in terms of power and technique, but it is noticeable. You have an overwhelming presence as is, I just…” Your shoulders drop with a sigh, one stemming desperately from loving admiration and instead try to disguise as just an exhalation, “…never realized it came from there. Kind of fitting if you ask me.”

His brows furrow in contemplation, unsure if whether he could accept the statement. Unsure of whether it was a fitting examination or compliment for him. He must deem it something insignificant of his ponderance because he quickly moves on.

“And yours?” He asks, alight with curiosity, “Where does yours come from?”

You hum, grateful to finally shed the last remnants of awkwardness and engage in the usual friendly conversation you tend to have with him. The brief discussions that always prod a little too close for friendly discovery, but never breach the line of professional respect. That self-imposed limitation that you desperately wish he’ll cross, that this conversation is once again coming toward.

“Take a guess.” Allowing that lilting tease to infiltrate your words, you watch as Nanami adjusts himself on the couch. Bracing his arms against the cushion, he pushes himself into a sitting position and crosses his arms. Trailing his eyes over your seated body next to him, he leaves a burning trail in his wake.

He fixates on your face for a second and your breath hitches, before he travels downward over the column of your neck, then your chest, to your legs. Drinking you in as per your consent and request. Then, he extends his hand. Palm facing upwards in a silent request. You understand.

Placing your own hand in his, he turns your hand upward, allowing full access to the center of your hand and tracing his finger over the lines.

“Your hands. That’s your center.” He says with finality, monotonous but confident. With a small smirk, he looks up at you, “You are a healer after all.”

You give a small nod, “I’m not sure if it comes from my fingertips or my palm, but yeah. My hands.”

Looking back down at your hand in his, he traces the finger in a circle, “Palm. That’s where I feel it the most.”

“What does it feel like?” You ask with a laugh, expecting something asinine and noncommittal considering Yuuji once said your presence felt like a cool wind on a summer’s day and Nobara insists that it feels like a warm shower.

Two entirely opposite feelings, yet somehow categorized in the schema of comfort. You hardly expect Nanami to give something so introspective, nor anything that reveals too much considering the extent to which he tends to maintain the boundary of respect in the conversations of explorations. The kind in which two people teeter on the thin ice of interest, yet never voice it.

And yet, his eyes connect with yours again, and it's entirely too overwhelming for you to process. Too interested, too warm. His face betrays no nervousness nor any hesitation as he stares, entirely convinced that this is what was meant to happen. As though he knew from the moment Gojo asked that it was going to unfold this way.

Like he prepared for it. Like he decided today was the day that he crossed that line.

“Home. Warm and comforting.”

Slow heat the creeps its way up your spine that makes your brain halt thought altogether and sputter intelligently, “Gojo’s kind of feels like… tar. Thick tar. Super gross.”

His hand, large and warm, encompasses your hand once more, lays it flat against his chest to feel both his exuding energy and the steady beat of his formidable heart.

“And mine?” He asks, low and gravelly. Like sweet honey that has you captured entirely, unable to escape. Not like you want to. No, you’d rather drown in this overwhelming redolence than ever live without it.

You don’t even realize your breathing heavily, nor that his face has gotten closer to yours. When did he move there? Did you move there?

Either way, his face is in front of yours, noses almost touching and the compulsion to answer him on the tip of your tongue.

“Addicting,” you whisper.

And then his lips are on yours, molding sweetly into you, and it's everything you have ever imagined it to be. Slow, yet firm. Warm and craving, and you can only fight for more, more, more.

His hand moves to the back of your neck, pulling you in impossibly closer and you place your hands on his bare chest, the great reason as to your current predicament entirely, to steady yourself and your erratic heartbeat. Time seems to slow in the passion of his kiss, and yet when he parts for air, you feel as though you only had him for a second.

All the months of pining could barely make up for that singular moment.

“I’ve been meaning to do that for a while,” He says, leaning his forehead against yours, breath fanning over your aching lips. You scoff in laughter, meeting his smile with one of your own.

So, maybe, just maybe, listening to Gojo wasn’t a bad idea. And maybe, sometimes, he’s right about some things.

“Hey Kento?”

“Yes?”

“You really do have nice tits.”

“Likewise.”

#nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you #nanami kento fluff #nanami fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #my fics #my writing #my writing event #follower event

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allthingskakashi · 4 years

Note

thigh riding with kakashi maybe👀

OKAY SO idk if this was just a general ask but i was inspired bc Kakashi's thighs get me 🥵🥵 so i wrote a whole fic which I'm not sure you asked for but hope would enjoy nonetheless 😌

And i managed to come up w a satisfactory title too 😌

• Enough Already •

[ Kakashi x Reader]

Words : 2k

Tags : Smut, 18+

You were beginning to get impatient.

You’d been watching Kakashi hunched over his desk, going through piles and piles of paperwork for the past three hours now. Sure, he was the Hokage and you did understand that he had a lot of work to do, but for the past month now it felt like you barely even got to see your own boyfriend. And even when you did, he’d just be nose deep in work and come to bed late every night, only to pass out the moment his back touched the mattress.

And yes, you did understand all of that, but it’d been so long since you’d made love, that even the sight of his bare biceps contracting as he worked right now was getting you hot and heavy.

You sighed, uncrossing your legs on the sofa, and closing shut the book in your hand. You'd been trying to read, but the book you were reading was an erotica and the vivid descriptions playing all sorts of images in your mind only added to your frustration.

Tossing the book onto the table next to you, you got up, making your way to where Kakashi was sitting.

You trod over lightly, coming to a halt at the back of his wooden chair. You stood behind Kakashi, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck, before crouching to plant a feathery kiss on the side of his face and working your way down, your kisses getting slobbery as you went.

You’d almost reached the crook of his neck when his curt voice stopped you. “Y/n. I’m working.” He said, oblivious to your advances and continuing to scribble away.

You stopped, unwrapping your arms and stepping away from him. “Yeah, I can see that.” you replied, not putting any efforts to mask the hurt in your voice, before adding “When are you not” in a low mutter.

Kakashi kept his gaze focused on the papers in front of him, his sharp eyes scanning quickly across the sheets as he worked.

You let out a deliberately loud sigh, hoping to elicit some sort of a reaction from Kakashi. An apology, an acknowledgement, or anything, but much to your disappointment, you found none.

With your mouth formed into a frown, you turned away from him, making your way to the other side of the room as the sound of your footsteps rung a little too loud against the floor.

You were a patient woman, but this was starting to get on your nerves now. All you wanted was for Kakashi to just give you a few hours of his time in a day, that’s all. Working like a machine in the way that he was wasn’t good for him either, and you couldn’t possibly be the only one who missed the times you spent. The passionate nights, the lazy mornings, the afternoons spent in bed like it was your last day on Earth. Surely, he missed them too?

You had to do something.

Your feet stopped near the main switchboard in the living room. Reaching your hand to the board, you quickly flicked off the switch connecting to the air conditioner, before slowly making your way back to the sofa and plopping down on it.

You sat waiting with your arms crossed, jiggling your legs and watching Kakashi carefully out of the corner of your eye, studying him and waiting for any kind of a movement or response.

The minutes drove by and beads of sweat were beginning to form on your forehead now. It was the middle of summer and the air was warm and crisp outside. During day, the streets were so hot you could fry an egg on them. But Kakashi remained glued to the chair, continuing with his work with not so much as a flinch or a sound.

Alright, this was REALLY starting to get on your nerves now.

You stood up swiftly from the sofa, fanning yourself with your hand, before vigorously shaking the neckline of your shirt. “Gee, it’s really hot don’t you think?” you cried out, making sure to enunciate every word as you trudged towards his desk again. But his head was bowed, his focus unfazed.

“Did you hear what I said?” you tried again, walking a little closer and standing by the side of his chair. “I said it’s really hot.”

“Turn the AC on, then” Kakashi replied in a flat tone, without sparing you a glance.

Honestly, he was walking on thin fucking ice now.

You ignored his comment. Clearly, these subtle advances were not working. You had to be more direct.

You stood beside his chair watching him for a moment, admiring the way his long fingers gripped the pen. Just below your line of vision, his Anbu tattoo sat exposed, curved over the bulge of his bicep.

Jeez.

Inching closer to him, you gripped the hem of your t shirt, before slowly pulling it off over your head and throwing it on his face. “Oops, sorry”, you sang, your tone not apologetic in the least.

The thin cloth fell on his head, covering part of his hair and his face. “What do you think you’re doing?” Kakashi said with a certain crisp, before pulling the cloth off his face and balling it into a clump on the desk.

Ridden of your t shirt now, you stood in your black bra. It wasn’t the best one in your collection, but it did give your breasts a good lift.

Batting your eyelashes like you had no idea what he was talking about, you squeezed yourself into the cramped space between his knees and the desk. “Nothing at all.” You said, your tone as innocent as ever as you proceeded to reach under your dress, slowly pulling your panties down to your ankles before kicking them to the side.

Kakashi’s eyes were finally on you, fixated and unreadable.

You held his gaze, not taking your eyes off him as you widened your stance and took a few steps forward, before plopping down on his lap, your legs straddling his thighs.

You watched his pupils narrow, and he tried speaking again. “Y/n, I told you, I have wor—”, but his words were cut off by the touch of your index finger to his lips.

Hooking your finger at the edge of his mask, you pulled it down, revealing his beautiful soft mouth underneath.

All you wanted was to have it run all over your body, but you knew you’d have to work a little more to make that happen. “I don’t care” you said, in a cool, low voice.

Your hands brushed up the sides of his arms, feeling every bulge and curve of his toned muscles before sinking into the softness of his hair at the back of his head.

Pulling lightly on his silver strands, you brought his head forward towards your chest, arching your back to push your breasts into his face, which were now heaving, thanks both to the heat and the pooling wetness down below. You felt the tip of Kakashi’s nose rub against your cleavage, even the smallest contact sending shivers up your spine.

Tightening your grasp around him, you pushed his face deeper as you slowly began to grind your hips against his thighs, your stomach stiffening into knots with the wave of arousal coursing through you. The friction of his pants felt heavenly against your sensitive folds and you continued rubbing yourself over him, pressing yourself on his legs as you moved back and forth.

You could feel Kakashi’s breath hitch against your cleavage as the wetness from your core began to drip to his legs, moistening his pants. He tilted his head back, eyes squeezed shut as a low guttural noise escaped his throat.

Your lips curled into a slow smirk at the sight of him and you leaned forward, holding his face in your hands as you whispered, “Lord Sixth, would you like me to stop?”

But you knew the moment those words rolled off your tongue that you’d edged him on too far. With his head still tilted against the chair, you watched Kakashi open his eyes, his dark eyes burning with the hunger of an animal left in the wild.

In a flash, his hands were on your hips, long fingers gripping your soft skin hard enough to elicit a moan. They travelled to your back next, grabbing your ass as you felt every single finger dig into your skin, squeezing hard.

You melted into his touch instantly, your mind spiralling into a frenzy as he clutched the curves of your waist again, guiding you back and forth on his legs with increasing pace.

Ahead of you, his growing bulge fought beneath the thin material of his pants, forming a distinct mound right below his abdomen.

You bit your lip at the sight, resisting the urge to rid his cock of its clothed prison already, mouth drooling at the thought of your tongue slobbering all over his thick girth. Your body squirmed and you felt pleasure building up at the base of your stomach, as you reached for the waistband of Kakashi’s pants, unable to keep holding yourself off any longer.

With desperate fingers you found the strands of his joggers, going ahead to untie them when suddenly, Kakashi’s palm clasped around your wrist, fingers tight against your bones as he stopped you from going further.

You looked up to find his piercing gaze drilling through you, a smirk curling the corner of his mouth.

“Kakashi…” you purred, your heart thrumming in your ears, “Please…”

His unwavering gaze burned into you, brows raising as though asking you to repeat yourself, when you felt his right hand snaking up your stomach, pushing through the underband of your bra to clasp around your breast. He gave it a hard squeeze, before starting to stroke over it with nimble fingers, his lips parting as he spoke. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

The sound of Kakashi’s raspy voice sent tremors through your body. You squirmed, imploring him with your eyes.

He continued stroking with one hand as the other flew to his mouth, and you watched him lick the tip of his finger, before bringing it down to your other breast, smearing his saliva over your nipple.

“You wanted my time”, he stated, gaze fixed on you while two of his fingers twisted your wet nipple hard, before rubbing around it in circles with his thumb. “I’m giving you my time.”

“Infact…” he said as one of his hands travelled below, fingers finding your folds and grazing along it lightly. “I intend to give you all night.”

A desperate gasp left your lips, your swollen clit beginning to ache under his touch.

“Kakashi…please.” You pleaded again in broken rasps of your voice, struggling to keep your mind from going numb.

Kakashi ignored you again, his fingers continuing their ravage down below as his mouth latched on to one of your nipples, sucking slowly at first, and then as if his life depended on it. He clenched and unclenched his thighs, every contraction of his muscle teasing your clit, making you writhe with the overload of pleasure through your veins.

You moaned with every suck of your nipple, and every flick of his finger, becoming a squirming mess in his hands as you gave yourself in to him completely, losing control of your body.

A grating moan began to form at the back of your throat as you felt yourself getting close, his fingers stretching you up, rubbing, and stroking every part of you.

Kakashi hunched forward, finally pulling away from your swollen nipple, his warm breath tickling your ear as he spoke.

“You’re not tired already, are you?” he asked in an innocent whisper, his fingers moving steadily down below.

Your voice came out in a tiny squeak as you answered, your entire body buzzing. “N-no.”

“Good” Kakashi replied, his voice gravelly against your ear as you finally felt him slip one finger inside you, eliciting an immediate burst of almost inhumane sounds from your chest. “because you won’t be walking out of here any time soon.” He whispered against your shuddering frame, before slipping another finger inside and adding in the same husky tone,

“Or walking at all.”

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

Midnight Adventures ~ BC [Request]

WORD COUNT:1.5K

GENRE: Fluffy, established-relationship, fluffy bang chan feels

PAIRING: Chan x GN!Reader

A/N: I hope it’s okay I went with Chan! I was feeling really soft for him since I wasn’t feeling great when I wrote this...Nothing bad just a migraine and I was in the mood for some soft Christopher Bang Hours! I also made it GN that everyone could read it and enjoy, hope this is okay my lovely little anon

Once he was given the all-clear from Felix Chan flung himself out of the bed, changing into some sweats and a black hoodie, something baggy so that he didn't look too obvious to those around him.

"Is Y/n ready?" Chan asked as Felix came into the room with a giant smile on his face, clearly proud of himself at the others for what they had been planning weeks in advance. This had been planned secretly by the boys, wanting to make sure you and Chan got to spend some one on one time together.

"Jeongin text them to start getting ready, the car is on its way, Jisung is covering at the studio," Felix explained to his nervous leader, it had been two months since you and Chan got to spend some quality time together and the boys were doing everything in their power to change that. Convincing their manager that Chan was sick and was staying home that night to rest when in reality he was sneaking off to go and meet you. Jisung was in charge of working in the studio to distract their manager enough and annoy him to the point where he would just stop asking about Chan. The two of you weren't supposed to be seeing one another since there was still a dating ban but that wasn't going to stop you from sneaking out and seeing one another.

"Are you sure the plan will work?" It wasn't that Chan was trying to get out of the evening that Felix had planned it was just him wanting to make sure he wasn't going to get caught and have consequences for everyone. He hated the thought of everyone getting into trouble for something that he could have prevented.

"It's foolproof, nothing can go wrong. I promise." Felix smiled weakly at Chan who still didn't look convinced on the whole thing but went along with it anyway, agreeing to get ready.

"Shower! I need to get the basket ready while Minho borrows his mum's car," Chan laughed at the thought of it, driving around in a Hyundai truck that the boys had specifically picked out for the date. It was a car that none of the paparazzi would be looking for and it was perfect for the both of you to climb into the truck part and stargaze together. The boys had planned everything out for you, putting blankets, pillows and food into the back of the truck while Chan got ready and making sure it was going to be a romantic time together.

"I put in some torches in case it's dark, there are some battery-powered fairy lights around the bottom of the truck bed to make it more romantic," Minho explained what he had done to the truck bed to Chan while Chan nodded along, wondering when everyone else had got invested in his relationship with you.

"Guys don't you think it's too much, I mean Y/n loves it when we just hang out without all of this-" Chan stopped talking when Changbin placed his finger over his lips telling him to be quiet as he slid the keys into his hand.

"Just go, you and Y/n have fun and stay safe. We've put masks and maps in the car," Changbin began to push the leader towards the door that was parked in the garage, ignoring Chan's questions and concerns about the dorms watching him drive off.

"Your chariot awaits," Chan spoke down the phone to you as you came out of your apartment to see him sitting in the car, your mouth fell open a little as you realised it was going to be a secret date but one of the best kinds. Secret midnight adventures were always the best, it didn't matter what you were doing as long as it was together with one another.

"We have maps, we have food, we have everything we may need so tell me," Chan turned to look at you as you got into the passenger seat,

"Where would you like to go?" Your mind flooded with possibilities but all you did was lean over and kiss Chan on the lips, enjoying the firey feeling you got whenever you kissed him.

"Let's just go anywhere we want, we have all night." You whispered looking back at him with loving eyes as he leant forward to kiss you again.

"Then let's go," He started up the car again and began driving towards the motorway, turning on the radio to play songs you could both sing along to while on the drive. Changing gears together while he held your hand, never once letting go as he enjoyed the feeling of being close to you again. He never wanted to let you go again.

"Take them off, you look too good," Chan mumbled as he handed you a different set of sunglasses. The two of you had driven to a service station with a 24/7 shopping mall, the place was practically deserted besides the workers who looked half asleep and didn't want to be there. Who could blame them? A 24/7 shopping mall off the motorway? Who was going to use it?

"I'm not putting those on," You laughed staring at the bright orange, flashing pumpkin glasses that Chan was trying to get you to try on. Placing a pair on himself before raising his eyebrows at you,

"They'll make us match, come on...They're cutttteeee," He said in a sing-song voice as he inched closer to you, trapping you between his body and the wall that was behind you,

"You have no escape young one," He put on an old-gremlin like voice before placing the sunglasses on your face and smirking at you,

"Look at that, we look fantastic." He smiled taking out his phone to snap a photo, it wasn't often that he took selfies but he took a lot with you. Wanting to remember and have memories of the times you spent together, he had a whole folder dedicated to your relationship.

"Don't you dare send that to the boys, I look like a trash-bin!" You yelled out trying to take the phone from his hands but he'd already sent it to the group chat while laughing menacingly as you slid off the sunglasses to stare at him. He suddenly felt as though he was in a library and being stared at by the librarian that had just caught him yelling too loudly.

"I can't unsend it-" He stopped speaking when his phone chimed, he looked down to see Felix sending laughing emojis.

"They love it," He said to you as he turned his screen around to show you their reactions to the image but you continued to stare at him,

"I am going to kick your ass on the arcade games, no more going easy on you because you're my boyfriend," You scoffed as you put the glasses down and began racing towards the arcade machines that were inside of the mall. Chan racing after you with his unrealistically fast sprinting, catching up and surpassing you within seconds as he got to the machines faster than you ever could imagine.

Chan looked down at you as you stared up at the starry night, your eyes flicking over the different stars you could see. After a gaming disaster where the two of you competed with one another head to head on everything in sight, the two of you decided to go out and sit under the stars in the bed of the truck. The back was filled with the blankets and pillows the boys had given to you and you just laid there for hours, talking to one another and enjoying the company.

"I missed you, I didn't say it before but I did miss you." You turned away from the sky to look at him and smiled,

"I missed you too baby, I know how busy you get so it's fine," You cupped his face in your hand, running your thumb over his skin and smiling at how smooth it was.

"I promise I'll do this more often...N-Not just every two months," You shook your head at him, you didn't want him to have to worry about sneaking out to create dates like this all of the time.

"You can come whenever you want, don't force it." You whispered snuggling your head into his neck as you got comfortable,

"I could sleep here." You laughed softly as you relaxed in his grasp, his arm wrapped around your body as you laid there together, enjoying the sounds of traffic, bugs and people just walking around having no idea who he was. Spending quality time with one another and ignoring the rest of the world while it moved on around you.

"I think Felix packed food..." Chan hinted thinking that you were still awake but when he got no response he turned down to look at you, finding you fast asleep in his arms, he smiled to himself leaning down to kiss your nose.

"Sleep tight baby," He whispered as he pulled the blankets up on your body, trying to let you sleep for as long as possible before he would have to set off home again.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @minholuvs @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @that-anxious-bisexual @mwitsmejk

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wish-spinner · 3 years

Note

look me in the eyes. I'm wearing sunglasses and also inside your phone so you can't but metaphysically please look me in the eyes. What are your Comprehensive Greil Mercenary Literacy Headcanons

i just made the face from the comic on the guy driving and he thinks abt penis. Cracks My Knuckles. get ready

- i think most of them are like. relatively bumpkinish in terms of how they grew up (i. also have hcs for several of them in terms of their parents + their professions but. thats Extraneous here) so i think that more or less, none of them were actually taught how to read as young children with the exception of soren

- soren is by far the Most literate like he can get through rlly dense and verbose texts with ease. his sageparent taught him the basics and from there on out he just kind of. had it down pat?? i think hes always read a lot. just to entertain himself or unwind

- rhys was taught by way of Bible Study basically. i hc that when he was ~12 he started clerical training and generally priests have the distinction of being Educated. him and soren are the only ones who frequently read for leisure

- titania is abt the same Literacy Level as rhys but shes less of a fucking nerd. she learned the basics while working towards Knighthood (bc while its different from irl knighthood, where u were most likely a noble kid who would be training for years and years as a squire + would already know how to read and write, i imagine crimea still likes its knights to at least have a grasp on the written word). and tbh since then??? shes always had sort of a management role in the mercs. im convinced she did the paperwork + finances before soren joined/was old enough

- mist!! is also rather literate!!! she was taught by a combination of all of the above,, images such as titania sometimes letting her watch her write and draft up payment documents. and then her and rhys in the infirmary and shes flipping through a book and asking him abt the odd word she cant figure out?? its Good. tbh mist is just the sort of person where if she finds smth of her interest then she wants to work towards it and get better at it!! shes got a determination abt it and she Did succeed

- oscar is in a similarish boat to titania in that he Is literate bc he was taught in his training for knighthood, not to mention that hes probably been doing the shopping since he was fairly young, so hes got both theory and practical situations under his belt. i cant imagine hes much of a writer however

- rolf!!!! when the three brothers join the mercs, rolf actively Wants to learn how to read!!! bc oscar can and he wants to do it too!!!! unfortunately oscar has spent the past little while being very very busy trying to make sure that the two kids in his care are not starving or freezing to death and thusly hasnt had much spare time to teach him. fortunately at this point mist more or less knows how to read so i think she helps him get going on it. and then a while later once rhys joins?? he helps to. rolf somewhat literate hours. hes allowed

- ike is also semi-taught by soren.... i think he Can read but not necessarily. well?? its not rlly smth that catches his interest beyond its very practical applications, nor has it ever been something hes Had to do. he can go shopping and read a map and thats all he really needs

- boyd is similar to ike except he actively finds reading + anything related to learning it to be a bit of a chore. rolf can read bc he had the desire to do so and found learning it to be fun but boyd doesnt particularly care and also he kind of hates it!!! he recognizes words from the marketplace plus the odd Excited lesson he received from rolf but not a whole lot else

- gatrie shinon and mia straightup cannot read at all. they were never taught and have never rlly sought it out bc of a combination of a) Other Shit Going On and b) its just never been overly relevant?? in life??? its easy enough to shop without it. just pick up the thing u want and ask how much it is. honestly gatrie and mia Might have learned how to write their respective names but shinon actually doesnt rlly. know how

#ask #my post #fe #tellius #headcanon #[prince meme format] you can Always send asks abt fe headcanons #its Always legal #emblemposting

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blankerthought · 2 years

Note

pspsps hey gamer if you're comfortable with it you should tell me about your writing

hi bestie i am drowning in wips and aus. there is so much fic and i want to write all of it but also i am So Bad at exposition because i add stuff bc "that sound sick as hell" and then i remember that i should probably explain that, huh. there's like, a mermaid au, and a Dream and XD are two halves of a whole but also Mitosis, and also my fight club one? that never got anywhere because i haven't watched fight club, like, at all. anyway here's a little of the confined au bc it will Not Leave Brain and i wanna share

Dream doesn’t know where he is. Well, that’s a bit of a misnomer. He knows he’s currently in a small hole, deep inside a ravine he’d managed to find after hopping into a cave. However, none of that explains why not even an hour ago he was in a pretentious and evil-looking hall, surrounded by people in complete enchanted netherite armor and weapons, all of them looking shocked and yet ready to take his head off. It doesn’t explain why he’s also wearing netherite, with a terrifying looking axe in his hands. It also doesn’t explain why his inventory isn’t his usual assortment of on-the-run supplies and is instead full of dynamite, enderpearls, and a fucking totem of undying what the hell.

It especially doesn’t explain why he’s not in his current hidey-hole, deep in a forest biome, under an abandoned mineshaft. Dream hasn’t felt this shaken since the first time his hunters came close to killing him, leaving him poisoned, sick and feverish, with a stab wound he was sure would be his death across his side. He’d spent the following week in a dusty little shack, only getting up to puke, take care of his other needs, and try and take bites of whatever crop was left in the abandoned cupboards. He was sure his diet of mostly potatoes and dubious looking mushrooms hadn’t helped much, but it was that or starving, and to his fourteen year old self starving and stabbed had seemed like too much to survive.

But he’d lived, so potatoes were good for something, at least. That first night’s dreams were still a stark yet blurry image in his head, snapshots of something that didn’t make sense- a night sky that was also floor, the glint of enchanting, a blur of movement of something he couldn’t identify. He knows that there’s something there, something he should have already known aside from an ache deep inside of him.

Still. Now’s not the time to dwell on dreams, not when he’s barely escaped whoever the hell these new hunters were- maybe family of his latest ones? The only one he’d taken the time to inspect had looked just like the fire obsessed teen that had been chasing him alongside a small group. Pandas, he thinks his name was? It’d certainly been shouted enough times, with all the near-misses and calls for him to slow down. He’d even had the same stupid bandanna, he scoffs indwardly.

He sure was better than him, he could admit, especially when he was sure none of them had expected him to appear.

#I Do Not Know What I'm Doing #i have a vague idea as to why dream needs to go to the end #but i also can't remember why i decided he's a wanted man lmao #anyway #mutuals!#tell me abt YOUR aus huh #i wanna know also that way we can live in shame together #dreamwastaken #c!dream #cornered au

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libraryofloveletters · 4 years

Note

Could I request a fake dating with Hotch where you’re upset bc you’re nervous about going to a friends wedding bc you know your semi recent ex will be there so Hotch comes with you as your plus one. But obv you both like each other and you never acted on it before and get together for real at the end?

Cover For Me

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, cursing

Category: fluff

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s Note: I wrote this at like 4am oops, hope you like it sweets!

----

The pretty yellow envelope sat on your desk. You knew exactly what was in it, an invitation to your friend’s wedding. You didn’t want to go but she insisted on you being there. Your ex was going to be there and although you ended things on good terms, you weren't ready to see them just yet.

Everyone had left for the night, it was just you and Hotch at the office. He was headed out when you went to throw the envelope out. “Are you okay l/n? You were done with your work hours ago. Why are you still here?” he seemed genuinely concerned.

“Just throwing out some stuff” you smiled at him

“That’s a bright envelope” he chuckled, glancing down at the envelope in your hand.

“Yeah just an invite, but I'm not going.” you told him

“Where aren't you going?” he asked you

“My friend’s wedding. She wants me to bring a plus one but everyone’s busy. Spence’s going to see his mom, JJ and Will have a party, Emily has her annual ‘sin to win’ weekend and Penelope’s going with her and Derek’s going out with some girl he met. As for Rossi, everyone’s just gonna think he’s my sugar daddy and I’m not in the mood for their judgement” You explained to him your lack of a date

He chuckled, “Maybe I could go with you? If you don’t mind of course and well, if you’re even going”

You were shocked he offered to go with you, you knew he spent his weekends with Jack. “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you cancel your plans to go to some wedding with me.” you looked at him, he smiled. “I didn’t have any plans, Jack’s with his grandparents this weekend. What time should I pick you up?”

“Is 3 alright?”

“3 is perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow” he gave your arm a little squeeze before heading out leaving you in the office by yourself.

----

It was now 2:57 and you were waiting for Aaron to come pick you up. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. Your boss offered to be your date and also because your ex is going to be there, with their new partner.

You took a look in the mirror, adjusting the front of your dress. It was a black silk dress Emily had convinced you to buy a while ago. It was floor length and backless, it fit your body like it was made just for you. It had red embroidery going down one side, from the shoulder to right above your hip.

The doorbell rang, you took a deep breath in before opening the door. Aaron was wearing all over black, the two two buttons on his shirt undone. There was no denying that he looked handsome.

“You look beautiful” He smiled at you.

You chuckled “Hello to you too Mr. Hotchner”

A red tint spread across his cheeks, he smiled “Hi y/n”

“You don’t look so bad yourself” you leaned against the door.

There had always been this unspoken level of attractiveness between the two of you. You opened the door wider for him to step in, “give me two minutes to find my shoes and I'll be ready” he nodded and shut the door behind him as you walked over to your closet. You pulled out a pair of black heels and slipped them on before walking back to Aaron. Even with your heels on, he still towered over you by a few inches.

“Ready ?” he asked you, looking you up and down. “Yeah, I'm ready”

----

The service was beautiful, your friend was the ideal image of a blushing bride. Everyone was at the reception and Aaron had stepped away to take a phone call, leaving you with the chance to get yourself a drink.

“Uh, a rum and coke please” the bartender nodded as you leaned against the counter. Your ex made their way over, you looked away praying that they wouldn’t come talk to you.

“Y/n! It’s so good to see you” They smiled at you

fuck fuck fuck, this is what you wanted to avoid.

“Hey! Good to see you too” you gave them a fake smile. Where the hell was Hotch when you needed him. You glanced around hoping you’d see Hotch and excuse yourself but he was nowhere to be seen.

“How have you been ? Oh! Have you met Sam? They’re my partner”

“Mhm nice to meet you Sam” you gave the two of them a fake smile. Aaron had seen your ex once or twice from pictures so he knew who was talking to you when he walked back over to you.

You felt his arm wrap around your waist, his hand on your hip rubbing it softly. “Hey baby, I'm sorry it was work” He gave you a kiss on the cheek.

You smiled at him “It’s alright. Oh, this is (ex’s name) my ex” Aaron looked at them and nodded, not saying anything.

Your ex stood there trying to make a conversation with you but Aaron kept whispering in your ear. It wasn’t anything important, just stupid little dad jokes which made you giggle every time. Your favourite song came on, your ex glanced at you.

“Dance with me sweets? I know this is your favourite” Aaron asked you. You were surprised he knew your favourite song. “Of course I'll dance with you” The two of you walked to the dance floor hand in hand leaving your ex behind.

Aaron’s hand rested on your hip and the other was holding your hand. The two of you swayed to the beat, not a care in the world. It felt as if the two of you were the only people in the room, in the world. The world and everything in it melted away as the two of you spun around the dance floor.

Before you knew it, the song was over and the two of you were still standing there, holding onto each other.

----

He drove you back home, still playing the part of the boyfriend. He opened the door for you, holding your hand and helping you out of the car. You smiled at him as he walked you to the front door.

“Do you want some coffee or something? I have cake in the fridge” you look at him, back against the door waiting for his answer.

“Coffee sounds good”

You unlocked the door and walked in, he followed you in and shut the door. You pulled off your heels and left them by the door before heading to the kitchen. When Aaron got to the kitchen, his jacket was off and his sleeves were rolled up.

You could feel the butterflies in your stomach, something about him had always made you want to be close to him. Tonight didn't help your feelings at all, everything felt so normal, so domestic.

Your coffee maker beeped, snapping you out of your dream world. Aaron was filling water into the machine, “sorry, I was supposed to do that” you said to him. “It’s alright, you zoned out for a second there. Are you okay?” he asked, leaning against your counter. You hopped up onto the counter beside him and he turned to face you.

“Tonight was nice” you whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear

“It was, I had a good time” he said back

You fidgeted with your fingers, his hand rested on top of yours. “y/n, what’s on your mind?” he asked you, he shifted closer towards you. You shook your head, “I’m fine, why do you ask?”

“I know you, you only fidget with your fingers when something’s on your mind or if you’re upset.” he admitted to you. You took a breath in, depending if you should tell him how you really felt. You knew either way, he’d figure it out eventually but you wanted to tell him, you should tell him.

“I didn’t thank you for being my date tonight” you looked down at your lap, he smiled. “You don't have to thank me, y/n. I’m glad I could go with you”

You rested a hand on his cheek, unsure how he’d react. His head leaned towards your hand, nuzzling his cheek into your palm.

“I like you Aaron” you whispered, looking up at him. You could feel him smile against your palm, he turned his head to press a little kiss in your palm.

“I like you too. Honestly, I thought I was over my feelings but tonight showed me that I wasn’t” he told you, stepping forward to stand between your legs. His hands cupped your cheeks as he leaned forward, you leaned closer as you felt his lips touch yours. The kiss was gentle, but passionate.

There was 4 years of chemistry in that one kiss. 4 years of small touches, over the shoulder glances, pining, lust and want poured into this kiss. This was magical and for the second time that night, you felt as if the whole world melted away.

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disastrouslyyours · 2 years

Note

I am a sinner I'm so sorry, but here is a slightly risky ask? Spamton is put in a Houdini situation where he has to escape a contraption or face being tickled to death. Let's make it worse- he's got an audience. Bit of public humiliation for the win. I'm so sorry, please bin this if its too far aha.

Anon you might be a sinner but so am I, bestie!!

As usual, I took a couple liberties with this prompt but the basic request still stands! (I apologize if you meant this to be a specific Spamton, it screamed Big Shot in my brain so I used him lmao.)

also anon if u want please come talk to me off-anon bc omfg ur MIND this was beautiful, thank you for this!!! /gen

ALSO lmao mandatory listening

“So, Mr. Spamton, the Big Shot himself, what do you say about trying your hand at our little challenge today?”

“Oho, I was [Born Ready] to take this on.” Spamton leans back in his chair and smirks, crossing one leg nonchalantly over the other. The interview host had had enough charisma and bravado to be an equal match, and the two had spent the past half hour inflating the other’s ego with surface level praise. So when the idea of a “unique” challenge was proposed, Spamton was primed and prepped to take the bait. The host transitioned to a commercial break, and the crew readied the set for the challenge.

“So, what exactly am I in for, Circuit?” Spamton hands his suit jacket to a PA and begins to roll up his sleeves.

“That’s classified, Big Shot.” The host replies, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Whatever you say. I’m sure it’ll be a [Piece of Cake] no matter what.” He elbows the host in the ribs, and the two share a laugh.

***

When Spamton agreed to a challenge, he assumed there would be some physical element. He did not expect to be suspended, 20 feet in the air, his wrists locked into a set of handcuffs. He shoots a glare at Circuit, who only laughs in response.

“Cameras are rolling in 10, you’ll be fine, Spammy. You know I wouldn’t do anything to actually harm you.” Circuit flashes his signature celebrity smile before turning to the camera. Spamton does his best to find his facade, twisting his face into a smug grin and hoping he could mask his own nerves.

“Welcome back to Short Circuits, the hottest talk show on television where we ask only the most burning questions to the most hot-and-happening celebrities. I’m your host, Circuit Breaker, and today’s special guest is none other than the Biggest Shot in Cyber City history, the Mr. Spamton G. Spamton!”

The camera switches to show Spamton in his current predicament, an arrogant expression plastered on his face. He appeared to be so nonchalant about the whole ordeal, and the audience swoons. This only feeds his ego, and he relaxes as much as he can against his restraints.

“And for today’s feat of mind, body, and courage, Spamton will be escaping the situation at hand in 3 minutes or less. All he has to do is find the key and unlock his handcuffs, and he’ll be home free. But of course, my dearest Fuses, we won’t make it easy for him.”

Spamton is about to question what that means when he finds his answer in the form of a slight pressure being applied to his sides. He knits his brows as he attempts to look down and see what is touching him, and is surprised when those two points of pressure start vibrating.

“From our generous sponsor Electrismile, debuting their new line of electric toothbrushes that offer 10x the spin power of their competitor’s, plus double the amount of brushes to offer the deep cleaning you deserve that’ll leave your teeth sparkling.”

Spamton jumps at the initial contact, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the sensation. This was not in the fine print, and he had an image to uphold. He grunts when the brushes start moving, determined to focus on the task at hand. Find the key, unlock the cuffs.

“Seems like our guest is really feeling the full extent of those double brushes. What do we think, my Funky Fuses, is this enough of a challenge or can our favorite Big Shot handle a little more?” Circuit gestures towards the audience with a dramatic sweep of his hand.

MORE! MORE! The crowd cries out, no doubt prompted by the massive cues flashing on the teleprompter. Spamton wants to shoot Circuit another glare, but opts to muster the strength to flash his award winning smile at the camera.

“You call this a challenge?” He puffs out his chest with a mocking laugh. “This is [All Too Easy].”

“Oho, is that so, Mr. Spamton?” Circuit looks up at his guest, stifling a laugh of his own as he watches Spamton twitch involuntarily. “In that case, please welcome our next sponsor. New from Urban Replay, it’s an all-synthetic line of makeup brushes!”

Spamton flinches when he feels two soft brushes make contact with his skin. In his attempts to both wriggle out of reach of the toothbrushes as well as find whatever hidden key he was searching for, his shirt had ridden up just enough to leave a sliver of midriff exposed.

“Completely cruelty free, these new brushes offer the softest synthetic fibers on the market to be extra gentle on your sensitive skin.” Circuit snickers before he continues, unable to resist the urge to make a jab at his guest. “And sensitive skin it seems you have, Mr. Spamton.”

Spamton huffs in reply, not finding the humor in the host’s jab. He can’t stop a couple snorts from escaping him as the brushes drag across his stomach, clenching his teeth as he tries to focus his attention elsewhere. He grasps at the air where his hands can reach, assuming the key must be dangling just above him. He looks up and sees nothing of the sort and lets out an exasperated groan. He tugs on the wire holding him in place, not sure of his plan but determined to try something.

“How are you holding up up there, Mr. Cyber City?” Circuit calls out, and the audience ooo’s in unison.

“J-just [Fine and Dandy].” Spamton retorts, hoping the audience can’t see him shiver when a toothbrush finds its way under his shirt.

“In that case, you certainly wouldn’t mind a word from our final sponsor, would you?”

“They paid good money to [Your Ad Here!].” Spamton snickers, the tiniest laugh escaping him as all four tools target his stomach.

“Excellent! What a good sport. Our final sponsor today is Malwear, sporting their newest installment in the hottest trend, the esteemed feather boa. A perfect accessory for all those nights you’re simply putting on the ritz, looking to dress to the nines, Malwear has you covered with their top of the line accessories.”

Spamton has no time to process as a long, garishly pink feather boa wraps itself around him, looping both around his neck and his waist. Like the straw that broke the camel's back, he can’t stop his laughter from bubbling out of his throat. The sound is candid and raw, filled with an unexpected warmth as he shakes from the combined sensations. This only lasts a moment before he feels the various sponsored items leave his body, followed by being gently lowered to the ground before being released from his restraints. Spamton rubs his wrists and shoots a confused look at Circuit, wordless for a moment as he tries to process. He’s even more confused when the audience erupts in applause.

“Our guest has done it! And in record time, no less, with less than 15 seconds to spare.” Circuit makes his way over and clasps a hand on Spamton’s shoulder, causing the other man to stumble a little before finding his balance.

“Not that I’m one to [Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth], but I’ll admit, I’m not quite sure how I won the challenge without finding the [Key Card].”

Circuit laughs and shakes his guest a little, tightening his grip on Spamton’s shoulder. “My dearest friend, laughter was the key!” The audience cheers wildly, and Circuit leans in slightly as he holds his mic away from his face, speaking in a whisper. “Something I think you could do a little more often, pal. Don’t let the stress of fame eat you alive.”

Circuit gives one final, firm squeeze on Spamton’s shoulder before transitioning to a commercial break. A PA rushes over to return his blazer as he works to tuck his shirt back in and straighten his tie. The rest of the show would mostly be Spamton plugging his different brands, which would be a welcome distraction to avoid processing Circuit’s well-intentioned yet unwanted concern. Eat me alive? No, Spamton G. Spamton will eat it right up.

#one day ill write an oc i dont fall in love with #today was not that day #ANON u were so patient im so sorry this took so long!!!#this was a really good request and i wanted to make sure i had the proper inspo to do it justice #anyways im in love with Circuit maybe he'll come back one day!!!#drabble requests

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livingasaghost · 3 years

Text

okay so i always see a bunch of ridiculous aftg headcanons soooo i decided to put my hat in the ring and try it out

this is all about the foxes and their chaotic as hell groupchats

so let’s imagine for a second that this series doesn’t take place in the early 2000s so smart phones exist

periodically the foxes have exchanged numbers with each other - obviously each of the cliques can contact each other, but then throughout that first year there are little things that cause people to give out their numbers

like at some point nicky lets it slip that he’s having trouble with his stats class and out of the blue allison offers to meet up with him because she’s surprisingly like really great at math? so the two of them start up a little text chain where they just shit talk everyone and start a few random bets

and then dan gets katelyn’s number from one of the other vixens and the two of them initially just start texting about game details...which turns into bonding over make-up and girl talk and eventually dan starts inviting katelyn to hang out with her and the fox girls

at first renee is the only one who has everyone’s number because she’s the only one who everyone likes

but then after their big win, renee just puts everyone in one massive groupchat so no one gets left out and they can all bond and it’s just as chaotic as one would expect

at first everyone’s just trying to figure out who’s who, but not everyone has an iphone so all the iphone users are really pissed off at the green bubbles

aaron’s the only one with an android because of course he is

he refuses to switch to an iphone even when the rest of the team BEGS him to bc he “doesn’t see the point”

for the whole summer after neil’s first year, the team keeps trying to pressure him and andrew into upgrading their phones because the team is so sick of what it’s doing to the groupchat

neil doesn’t really know how it all works because he’s still getting used to having a phone and having friends to text, but then everyone starts sending him emojis that don’t show up properly and his phone won’t load any photos they send and the rest of the foxes are so FRUSTRATED bc neil doesn’t seem to notice

eventually, in a shocking turn of events, andrew gets so fed up with the chaos of everyone texting his flip phone that he’s the one who gives in

he shows up at the dorm one day and just hands neil a little baggie with his new iphone

they’re just starting to get it set up when nicky strolls in and IMMEDIATELY takes over, showing neil all about emojis and changing your phone background and saving all the fox contacts

neil is, unsurprisingly, very overwhelmed and slightly terrified, so andrew reaches over and does it all for him, and nicky just looks put out

it takes neil like six months to change any of his contacts or backgrounds or settings because he just doesn’t care

eventually he does manage to set his lockscreen to a really bad photo he took of andrew when he wasn’t paying attention

andrew notices it one day and chooses not to say anything

(he secretly loves it)

when the groupchats start heating up.......neil realizes it’s kind of fun to have a smart phone because it feels like the foxes are with him all the time

after neil and andrew get iphones, the rest of the team decide to make a separate groupchat for just apple users bc no one really texts aaron regularly anyway

at first it’s just a place where people drop details about practices

dan shares news from wymack and abby and then kevin starts giving orders about what the foxes can do better

and somehow that is the tipping point

because everyone hates when kevin starts talking exy

(except neil)

so everyone jumps on him and it’s the perfect icebreaker

nicky is the obnoxious one who sends a ridiculous amount of emojis and gifs and reaction images (neil never knows where he finds them all) - he also sends the most tiktoks. usually ones that are super inappropriate or just plain stupid.

allison texts a lot because she’s always attached to her phone ready for the tea and sometimes she’ll send a really raunchy meme just to spice things up

neil doesn’t really know what’s going on half the time - and he never really scrolls up to see what he’s missed - so if and when he does respond, it’s usually just to ask clarifying questions or give a thumbs up

matt is the one who always checks in to make sure everyone’s doing okay - he’ll send really encouraging texts that people like andrew shit on

one time matt sends everyone a really sweet text over the holidays about how much they mean to him....and then dan just kicks him out of the gc and goes “okay enough of that bullshit i hate u guys xoxo” and andrew gives it a thumbs up

sometimes when he’s bored andrew will just kick out everyone but renee and neil bc why not

kevin is the one who gets kicked out the most

sometimes it’s because he texts about exy, but eventually it just becomes a running joke that they’ll kick him out randomly

like they’ll be in the middle of a conversation and then allison will just boot him out of the gc just to see what he’ll do

usually when this happens kevin will just send an angry message in one of the other gcs telling neil to add him back

it’s usually neil or renee who adds someone back bc they feel bad that people get left out of the gc

renee has this weird obsession with tiktok and she sends them CONSTANTLY like usually they remind her of certain teammates

she’ll send these at all hours of the night bc she has trouble sleeping and that means more time to scroll through the app from hell

and even though it gets on everyone’s nerves, no one can hate renee so they all just kind of....watch the videos and then everyone’s obsessed with tiktok

dan will send memes and things but only when they’re like so ridiculously funny that they get the whole gc wheezing at midnight on a school night

and usually they’re SO ridiculous that they only make sense to dan

“Dan you do realize we have practice tomorrow?”

“matt shut up this girl is talking like MARGE SIMPSON I CANT BREATHE”

most of the foxes text without proper capitalization or punctuation but matt and kevin and neil (and aaron) are all very proper with their texting

dan makes fun of matt all the time bc he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to Use Proper English but matt doesn’t understand why everyone can’t just use capitals when it’s automatic (he doesn’t know how to turn it off)

neil uses proper grammar just bc it doesn’t occur to him to do anything else

andrew uses lowercase bc it reads like a monotone to him and he thinks it’s ~cool~ and he also likes making kevin mad

sometimes he’ll use the wrong punctuation and grammar on purpose just to get kevin to reply to his texts

eventually nicky realizes he can change the group name and the group photo so he starts the most chaotic conversation by dramatically changing it to a snapchat screenshot of neil asleep on andrew’s lap and calling the gc SEXY EXY BESTIES 👅💦

it stays like that for all of two minutes before kevin notices and quickly changes the name to The Foxes

and then it becomes a free for all as everyone tries to be smart and snarky and ridiculous

stans of kevin’s left hand

the foxwhore court

🧡 Neil Josten Fanclub 🧡

life’s like a game of exy🥍

periodically throughout the week someone will change the name as they see fit - normally it’s something stupid but sometimes they’ll start an actual conversation by changing the group name

The Ungrateful Foxes

fuck you kevin

Guys plz be nice to Kevin

YOU KNOW, I GET IT—

The Worst Team in the NCAA

fuck you kevin

GO TO SLEEP NEIL!!!

one time after they’d spent like two weeks being called wymack’s whores, andrew decided he’d had enough of that so he just renamed it 🖕🏻🦊

and they do have a separate gc with wymack (they just don’t need to bother him with all their shitty commentary)

but funny enough, they’re almost worse in the wymack gc

at first wymack tried to control everyone by kicking people out who misbehaved, but then it just kept happening until it was him, kevin and renee left and he had to let it go

now all the foxes will text him at the most random times with the most random of questions

they also have a running joke where they all call him dad

kevin hates it, but wymack secretly thinks it’s hilarious and sweet

“hey dad can we get pizza after practice tomorrow???”

“dad nicky’s being a bitch can you make him run extra laps”

“WAIT DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT WYMACK IS KEVIN’S ACTUAL DAD??? *blinking man gif*”

kevin starts leaving the gc instead of waiting to be kicked out

#should i do another one of these #this was SO FUCKING FUN #aftg #aftg headcanon #aftg hc #tfc #headcanon #mine #personal

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caneannabelle · 3 years

Text

ok hi guys. it’s been a while. i wrote this analysis back when Mag 187 aka Checking Out aka The One Where Helen Dies first came out and literally ever since i’ve posted it i’ve wanted to redo it because it feels. lacking. listen if there’s one thing i hate it’s incomplete media analysis and i must right my wrongs lest i be forced to look upon myself and crumble from within. that being said, i’ve been putting off this rewrite for a long long time bc Life Gets Weird. tldr this was written over the course of several months so i apologize for inconsistent quality. anyways let’s get into it!

part one: recap!

it’s been a while! let’s just go over what happened. the scene i wanna focus on in particular is this one:

VICTIM

You’ve got to help me!

ARCHIVIST

[Angrily] Don’t touch me!

[THE ARCHIVIST PULLS AWAY, AS THE VICTIM FALLS AND IS CRYING]

HELEN

Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?

(187).

that being said i’m gonna be kind of all over the place but! i do think that’s a good jumping off point.

part two (part one): disparaging everyone’s problematic fav

in my original post my point was that in reflexively reacting to a victim with disgust and anger jon inadvertently reveals the nature of his dedication to helping victims as ego driven, especially because this line is directly preceded by him asserting his moral high ground over helen as being a “protector” as opposed to her indulgence in destruction. what i’m saying is homeboy has a savior complex. honestly there’s a lot of evidence to support that claim but i think the most obvious example would be jordan kennedy. like.

JORDAN

…Yeah. But wrong. Sick.

What did you do to me?

ARCHIVIST

I helped you.

JORDAN

Helped me? I don’t feel right, I, I just – Ah! No I don’t – argh! I don’t want this!

(184). to be clear it’s an action with a good intent! he just wants to help someone who once helped him! BUT it also demonstrates a lack of conscious empathy. i feel like i don’t have to argue this since jordan Literally vocally said he didn’t want this several times throughout the scene but the point remains that while jon’s intent is good the actual application of his saviourism removes the autonomy of those he affects. i’m not gonna touch on the “is it objectively immoral to become an oppressor for the sake of self preservation while existing within an extreme system in which all are oppressed regardless of your individual status” query mostly because i do not have the brainpower available rn to come to my own conclusion about systems of power and the way they’re represented in tma (which is a whole other rant tbh) but jon DOES rob jordan of the ability to come to his own conclusion in this debate and make his own choice, thereby removing his autonomy. you know. autonomy. free will. the thing that is central to jon’s internal conflicts. huh.

anyways i NEED to stress that i’m not saying that he’s the same as jonah or the web or even annabelle (although annabelle is a victim. no i don’t take constructive criticism). i just want to point out that his actions reflect a lack of understanding. while he’s able to empathize with the pain others experience and is eternally hyper- aware of it he is unable to view that pain through any lense besides his own and uses it in his cycle of self pity and blame, minimizing it at any point possible in the quickest way and Not prioritizing the wishes of the victim but instead the efficiency in decreasing his own guilt. anyways back to 187- both the victim and jordan are treated as props by jon (and helen) and once they serve their purpose in reaffirming the two’s sense of self are cast aside and ignored. ok from here i’m gonna get conceptual and self indulgent bc it’s my analysis and i get to bring up vague convoluted philosophy.

part two (part two): part two

let’s talk about the distortion for a sec. i refuse to believe helen and michael were both completely gone and it was just the distortion piloting their visage, mostly because… like that’s not what the text would indicate

HELEN

Michael isn’t me. Not now.

ARCHIVIST

What happened?

HELEN

He got… distracted. Let feelings that shouldn’t have been his overwhelm me.

Lost my way.

(101). it’s heavily implied that there was SOME remainder of michael in there, even if the being wasn’t him. maybe i’m way off base here but the way i interpreted the implosion of michael was that it was driven by his inability to maintain the repressed resentment and anger he had for gertrude. like it’s pretty clear that some warped version of michael’s feelings were trapped inside of the distortion and i’d go as far as to say that they were integral to his formation as it. i’m gonna operate on the assumption that michael and helen are two separate beings here for a sec even though we know they’re not. As opposed to michael’s resentment for the archivist, helen actively sought refuge in the institute and from the small amount we saw of her Pre-Distortion it seems like her paranoia is internally directed. i think you could even say that while michael was caught in an eternal battle with the concept of connection, helen is caught in a battle with the concept of self. the point is that she thinks of jon in a less “The Archivist” sense and more as just That Guy who she had an intense connection with that one time.

ARCHIVIST

So… S-so what do you want?

HELEN

I don’t know. Helen liked you, so… there’s a lot to consider. But I will help you leave.

(101). i would also like to point out that helen’s emergence as the distortion coincides with jon coming to terms with his identity as the archivist. parallels, baby! SO helen is a newly formed being that is grappling with the concept of her own existence and jon is reevaluating his understanding of identity as he comes to terms with the fact that he is turning into the thing he’s fighting against and this is all happening at the same time. live laugh love. stay with me here, i promise i’ll get back to 187. Throughout seasons 4 and 5 helen attempts to validate her own moral decisions via jon who she once saw herself in. conversely, jon sees both an image of what he could become AND arguably a representation of his past failure in her.

ARCHIVIST

It did. I think… I mean, you remember how I was back then, how paranoid. The Not!Sasha was there, and I could sense something wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t place it. It left me a suspicious wreck. Then when Helen Richardson came in, it seemed like… she was in the same place I was, but worse, further along. I thought, maybe if I could help her, that would mean… maybe I wasn’t beyond help?

(188). helen and jon lie at opposite ends of the same spectrum. both of them derive pleasure from the suffering of others

HELEN

Oh, John! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it.

ARCHIVIST

[Sadly] I know.

(187). needless to say that a LOT of jon's arc and the themes surrounding him focus on the concept of autonomy and addiction and i think it'd be fair to say that this component is an aspect of that. repressing these qualities is both a way of reaffirming his control and also just.. him trying to be what he perceives as Good, and season 5 is the point at which this comes to the forefront of his character- particularly the line between what is intrinsic and what he truly has control over. a battle of the concept of the self, if you will. while the two share similar traits, jon is intensely moralistic while helen indulges in a twisted sense of hedonism and both are fueled by an inability to expand their viewpoint. helen fully immerses herself within these qualities and intentionally blinds herself to any concepts of morality (indulgence), and jon actively pushes back on this as hard as he can and follows black and white moral framework (repression). this means that in order for their relationship to function he must either accept her, choosing to let go in his personal battle with autonomy OR she must break out of her worldview and conform to standards of human morality which goes against her own nature.

part three: questions i do not have the answer to

so. what does it all mean. WELL. 187 is the boiling point of all this tension. we know that helen relies on jon to validate her sense of self and we know that jon sees himself in helen, both past and present

HELEN

But that doesn’t make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively delirious with paranoia!

ARCHIVIST

True. But as you’ll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.

HELEN

So what? You saw yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?

(187). I’d argue that 187 is demonstrative of jon’s inability to either fall into complete indulgence in intrinsic values that lack moral validity vs. maintain and image of self that does not conflict with the values he attempts to uphold in order to find internal satisfaction and yes both of those concepts are inherently egocentric as he bases his moral judgement on what he can justify to himself instead of what can be calculated via empathy. however. paired with the alternative (helen). is that BAD. is it inherently selfish to do what you perceive as good in order to feed your own savior complex? and if so, is it inherently selfish to indulge in destructive qualities as to not delude yourself? is honesty vs deception a black and white question? if not, where does helen even fall? in not deluding herself does she achieve a moral high ground? IS she deluding herself by denying the potential to be facetiously benevolent at the detriment of both her personal enjoyment and her honesty? does helen even posses the capability to repress her violent qualities? if she doesn't, does she have any autonomy? if she and jon are both inherently selfish and intentionally resistant to introspection, what makes them different? i do not have answers but i do think the text is meant to invoke these questions. i mean,

MICHAEL (STATEMENT)

There was a great evil, she said, and Michael was going to help her fight it. Am I evil, Archivist? Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? When it embodies its nature? When that nature is created by those which revile it? Perhaps Gertrude believed so. Michael certainly did. He believed everything she told him.

(101).

part 5: conclusion

so once again. what does it all mean. well! even post helen’s death jon continues to fight for autonomy and preserve his moral worldview so. i think that probably indicates something good.

MARTIN

Huh. She couldn’t help what she was, I guess.

ARCHIVIST

She didn’t even try.

(188). i honestly don’t have a thesis i just find it incredibly interesting how the themes surrounding these two intersect and play off of each other. anyways looping back to 187 i do think in a broad sense jon killing helen is representative of him choosing to stick by his convictions and keep fighting. i don’t have any good way to end this but thanks for sticking around during my self indulgent rambling!

#also apropos of nothing but #this scene reminds me of a clive barker story #truly that has nothing to do w this analysis i just wanted to throw this in the tags #anyways! hope this makes sense #i had a friend who’s never listened to tma read over this to make sure that it’s coherent #and she said it was fine so.. alice ty #this was fun! i have lots of Thoughts on tma and i should write them more often #the magnus archives #mag 187 #jonathan sims #the archivist #helen richardson #helen distortion #michael shelley #tma meta #the distortion #the spiral #tma

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