#i should send this to my friened later

[riodoesstuff]

hi just here to show you this HDJFJSJFJSJFJSJ

This is really sillay!! sjsjsjwkw glad u guyss are having fun with it :) the editing looks really nicey too

#i should send this to my friened later #if i remember that is #riosaysstuff

[widowwaddles]

Don’t Go Baking My Heart - Part 3

Summary:  After a breakup, you decide to pack up your life and move to Westview. A  coworker recommends you join the local community's cooking class in  order to settle into the new town. It sounded like a great idea, you could learn a new skill (that you desperately need) and meet new people. However, nothing could have prepared you for the green-eyed beauty you  met during class. Maybe you'll end up leaving the class with more than  just a basic understanding of cooking.

Taglist:  @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​

Word count: ~4.1k

Masterlist

Part 4

--

How to Know You’ve Found the One

Waking up the next morning, you couldn’t help but reread the text on your phone with a smile. You haven’t been this happy in the morning in a while, and you knew it could only mean one thing - but you weren’t ready to admit it yet. It was no secret that you had the tendency to fall hard and fast. You were a hopeless romantic and led with your heart. Many people said they’d admire that trait about you and gushed how more people should be this way - before later going on to break yours. You’ve dealt with a lot of heartbreak, with your last relationship being the last straw. There were things you knew that you needed to work on - boundaries you needed to set within yourself - to ensure that your future relationships wouldn’t end like the last.

So you wrote it all in a letter. Detailing your hopes and dreams for the future, but most importantly being brutally honest about the patterns you tend to follow when falling for someone, despite wanting to break out of it. No matter how much you liked Wanda you didn’t want to fall into old habits. Not that anything would be happening anytime soon between you two - based on last night, Wanda is going through a lot more than she’s letting on. It was way too early to even think about getting into a relationship right now - considering you just met - but you couldn’t help but feel your heart race at the thought.  

Dear Y/n, 

If you’re reading this then you’ve found yourself with a bit of a crush. Who am I kidding, you must be really down bad if you’re reading this now. There’s no need to panic, who better to help you navigate during this challenging time than you from the past. I’ll make this nice and easy, but the first step is to breathe. You don’t have to fight it, It’s okay to enjoy this feeling - the rush. Just don’t let it consume you. You don’t always have to be the one to initiate things. Allow yourself to take the backseat this time and let them set the pace.  

Deciding to live by your words, you prepared for your day. You could do this, and maybe this was the best thing for your situation. You would be a fool to deny the connection you had made yesterday, but you could tell that Wanda was clearly going through something right now. You didn’t want to push her into anything she wasn’t ready for or worse, do something that causes her to push you away. You were willing to let her set the pace, and if friendship was what she needed now, then you’ll do just that. Sending Wanda a simple good morning text, you set off for work and for the first time since moving to Westview, you felt excited for the day ahead.

 ___

To say that Yelena was surprised to see your smiling face as you walked into work today would be an understatement.  Usually, it would take you at least two coffees and a meal to draw a genuine smile from your face during the workday.

“Someone looks happy, would you like to share with the class?” Yelena looks intrigued as to what has you in such a good mood today.

You try to hide your smile as you look away. You contemplated revealing everything that happened after class yesterday. You would love to have someone to confide in but you had to stop yourself. It was too early to say anything now and considering the circumstances you felt like you’d be breaking Wanda’s trust by discussing the more intimate details (aka Wanda breaking down). It definitely wouldn’t be a good start to a friendship, and if you planned on getting closer you’d need Wanda to have faith that you wouldn’t go gossiping about her private life (even if it is with your best friend).

“Can’t I just be happy to see my best friend today?” you say hoping she buys it. Who's to say you weren’t happy to see Yelena today?

“If this is your attempt at trying to suck up to me after yesterday, then you seriously need better material” she looks at you skeptically, clearly not buying it. “Plus, I forgave you after you gave me our precious creation, it was delicious”

“Actually, I don’t remember there ever being any sort of discussion regarding the pot pie. Just you saying goodbye before quickly running out of the building carrying a suspicious container” you recount your last memories of seeing Yelena. “But if it went to a good cause, who am I to question anything. I’m just happy it’s allowed you to spice up your usual diet”.

“Hey, don’t try to change the subject. What’s up with you today?” Yelena rolls her eyes not liking your last comment or your attempts to dodge her questions.

“It’s seriously nothing” you reply, not wanting to admit the truth of what has you feeling good today. “Can’t I have some mystery to my life?”.

“No”  Yelena looks at you like you’ve grown another head. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?” she asks bluntly.

Your eyes widen and a light blush dusts your cheeks. It’s embarrassing how well she knows you.  

“Really? I’m happy for you Y/n, she must really be special if she has you like this” Yelena was genuinely happy for you, knowing how hard it’s been for you to make any sort of connection since you’ve been here. “So, tell me about her”

And here comes the hard part. You needed to go about this smartly, Yelena must not - under any circumstances - know the identity of the woman who’s stolen your heart. You needed to be cool and nonchalant about this.

“She’s perfect” you immediately gush. “I’ve never had this feeling before about anyone this quickly, I mean I barely know her. I don’t think anything is going to be happening between us anytime soon though so you cannot say anything.” you ramble. Definitely, way too much information that you planned on divulging to her.

“Don’t worry I won’t. But if you’re saying this then it must be someone I know” she’s piecing this together much faster than you hoped. “Hmmm…Do you want to tell me or should I try to guess who it is?” she has her hand on her chin as if a detective on their latest case.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you start but she’s showing no signs of stopping. Shifting your eyes nervously, you look at your cup of coffee and  blurt the first name that comes to mind

“Sharon”

“Huh, as in the barista?” she never would have guessed that you would be into Sharon Carter, based on how shallow your conversations have been so far. When did you even get her number, you literally only talk about coffee when you’re in the coffee shop she works at. “I was gonna say, Wanda, I mean you could practically smell the tension between you,” she admits, starting to feel less confident about her answer after your revelation. How could she have missed this supposed connection you had with Sharon?

“Pshhh, you must be seeing things,” you say as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I don’t even think Wanda likes me that way anyways,” you say sadly, staring blankly at your computer.

“Sure whatever you say Y/n, but you’re an idiot if you don’t see the way Wanda looks at you” she doesn’t say anything further, and you were thankful for that. You began to dwell on her words - it couldn’t possibly be true. You didn’t know why you were psyching yourself out, I mean, this is the best possible scenario. Yet, something inside is preventing you from fully believing it - a part of you that knows that once you get your hopes up it would only end in disappointment.

I know it may make you feel anxious or insecure, causing you to question whether the connection you felt was real (and reciprocated). And, I’m not gonna lie it’s gonna be difficult, giving up some control of the situation and letting the fates decide, but I promise you it’s worth it. Let them prove to you that they can make an effort. You need to recognize that the progression of a relationship isn’t dependent on one person. And when the time finally comes, and you receive that one sign that confirms the feelings between you is mutual, it’s the best feeling in the world.  

  Wanda  :

Hey, sorry I’ve been pretty busy today. Will you be free this Friday to meet up? I want to see you again.  

—  

It’s been three days since you received Wanda’s text and now it was finally the day you’ve been waiting for, Friday. Sitting in the coffee shop, you’re nervously awaiting Wanda’s arrival. You may or may not have come 30 minutes earlier than the agreed-upon time. You take a deep breath and try to remind yourself to stay calm. I mean it was only your first time hanging out with Wanda outside of class. You simply needed to look at this situation as two friends hanging out and not a date.

It was about another 15 minutes before you saw a brunette walk through the door. She anxiously looked around the shop, trying to find an empty seat before making eye contact with you. She seems surprised to see you before relief floods her face. She immediately walks over to you, with a smile.

It’s too early to decide anything yet, but take notice of everything. Are they always late when you arrange to spend time together? When they first see you, is this their first instinct to smile or grimace? Consider this moment, the official first impression - it will be the deciding factor in if this moves forward.  

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you here so early” she greets you nervously. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long”.  

“Hey Wanda, you didn’t I just got here a minute ago, don’t worry” you greet her, the small lie slipping past your lips with confidence. She looks at the table, noticing you’ve already ordered a medium coffee and two bagels.

“And you just so happened to order all of that and it arrived half-eaten?” she asks knowingly, having to suppress her giggle. “The service here must really suck”.

“It’s not too bad” you scratch your neck, knowing you’ve been caught. “I would love to buy you something though, from the uneaten side of the menu” you rush out, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“Smooth” she teases. “I’ll take a Jasmine tea and a muffin”

 You quickly stand up from your seat and go to the cashier to order. You even surprised Wanda with how quick you were but the look was quickly replaced with an endearing smile as she watched you stumble to the front.

“I want a Jasmine tea and a muffin” you order.

“Wow, Y/n. Did you finish the coffee and bagels already?” the blonde barista jokes.

“Haha, very funny Sharon, but I’ll have you know that this isn’t for me” you reply. You and Yelena are regulars at this coffee shop, so it’d only make sense that you were friendly with Sharon and the other baristas here.

Sharon looks back to where you were seated and notices the pretty brunette waiting at the table.

“Ahhh, I see. Well, in that case, I’ll make it on the house” she says kindly.

As she prepares your order you continue to make casual conversation with Sharon, with her trying to get as many details about your little date. Wanda watches this interaction from afar and has to suppress the little green monster threatening to come out. She doesn’t understand why watching you speak to the blonde barista makes her feel so jealous, considering you were only friends (for now). She has to hide her glare, when you turn back around, giving her a bright smile and holding up 2 fingers - indicating her order should be ready soon.

“Here you go” Sharon says as she hands you the tea.

“Thanks Sharon, I owe you one”

“No worries but hey” she says with a concerned look. “Have you noticed that Yelena’s been acting weird?”

You instantly knew what she was referring to. You and Yelena are regulars at this coffee shop, so it’d only make sense that you were friendly with Sharon and the other baristas here. Ever since revealing to Yelena that you liked Sharon (romantically) she’s elected herself as your wingman and has been trying to leave hints to the barista that you wanted something more. It’s been very embarrassing but Sharon didn’t seem very perceptive to it until Yelena flat-out asked if she found you attractive. Thankfully, she was a good sport about it and brushed it off. You hoped that she would have just forgotten about it, but appears she has not. Now you were put in the awkward position of explaining it to her, which required a delicate hand. You look at Sharon kindly.  

“You know how she is” you left it as that before rushing back to your table. You seriously needed to have a conversation with Yelena about being subtle. You could only imagine how much worse it would be if she finds out that Wanda is the one you actually liked ( *cough cough* read the Valentine's Day Special).

You set her order on the table and Wanda looks at you thankfully, as she begins to eat. The conversation flows between you two, and it feels refreshing. You both couldn’t hide your smiles as you finished your outing.

Walking out of the coffee shop together, you noticed that Wanda’s car wasn’t in the parking lot. Wanda walks with you to your car, brushing against you with each step. When you reach the door you turn back to Wanda.

“I enjoyed this, spending time with you today” Wanda fiddled with her hands nervously. “I don’t want it to end”, she finishes glumly.

“Well it doesn’t have to” you have a hopeful look you weren’t ready to say goodbye either. “I’m still not familiar with the area -unless for food- so would you maybe…want to come to my place? We could watch a movie and cook dinner together, I’m still not too confident with my skills in the kitchen” and now you’re rambling. She looks at you inquisitively. “Feel free to say no, I don’t want to pressure you” you rush out, beginning to regret your invitation.

“You’re seriously asking your cooking instructor to come cook for you” she teases. “Wow Y/n, I’ve never had one of my students propose such a thing. Are my classes not enough?”

“Well what can I say, I’m in desperate need of private lessons. I learn better one-on-one” you flirtatiously joked. Her cheeks went red instantly, and you couldn’t hide your laugh.

“I’d love to,�� she says warmly. “Plus from what Yelena’s told me, you’d probably starve tonight if I didn’t come”

“Hey, she’s much worse than me. I at least have a variation to my diet” you defend yourself. You couldn’t believe that Yelena had the audacity to complain to Wanda about your eating habits.

“You both could use the help,” she says attempting to stay neutral. You give her a knowing look, but she avoids your eyes. “Shall we get going?”

Walking over to the passenger door of your car, you open the door for her.

“After you milady,” you say charmingly. She gets in shyly, before flashing you a small smile. You close the door and walk back to your side. This is a good day.

 —

When you arrive at your apartment, you lead Wanda to your door. Nervousness filled your body, this was the first time you’d invited someone over -not even Yelena has seen your apartment yet.

“I just want to warn you before you go in” you begin to unlock your door. “Lower all of your expectations. I’m still in the process of decorating so” you open the door, allowing her to go through first.

“Wow” she walks at everything your living room has to offer. A couch and tv, nothing else. “It looks great”. She eyes your kitchen before looking at you for permission. You walked with her to the kitchen, knowing she was not gonna be too happy with what she finds.

“Your counters look a bit bare, but I guess that makes sense if you barely cook” she analyzes before opening your refrigerator. “It’s completely empty!” quickly closing the door, and opening your cabinets. “WHY DO YOU HAVE NOTHING IN HERE?” she glares at you.

“I just haven’t gotten around to it yet” holding your hands up in defense, you know it’s a weak response.

“You’ve been here for more than a month, how much more time do you need?” she gawks, she couldn’t believe this was real.

“You-you’re not allowed to look so surprised, I joined your class for a reason. What happened to your optimistic ‘anyone can cook’ attitude?”.

“Most people come to learn a new recipe or two. You need an intervention” she says bluntly. “I’m depressed just being in here. I don’t even know how you’ve survived this long” she looks so disappointed when she gets closer to you, offering a gentle hug and rubbing your back. You enjoy it until you begin to feel her grip tighten. Uh oh. She must have seen it.

Pushing you away, Wanda walks to your trash can and points at the numerous takeout bags - from the last 3 days - piling up to the top.

“Really?”

“I thought you’d be happier to see that I’m eating well” you joke, but Wanda doesn’t seem to find it very funny.

“We’re going to the grocery store now. Let’s go” she orders, leaving no room for any further discussion on the matter. Part of you was surprised by her tone, but a (much) larger part was kinda into it. She looks hot when she’s angry and in charge. “Now” she’s looking at you impatiently, not wanting to leave the lady waiting - you scramble to get your keys and follow her out the door.

 —

The next thing to ask yourself is: How do they make you feel? And you have to be honest, don’t let the butterflies influence your answer. Can you truly be yourself around them, or do you feel like you have to play a role in order to get their acceptance? You need to know the difference, as this has led to the downfall of all of your relationships. You need to start living for yourself - as your authentic self - even in your relationships. Don’t change yourself, if they are truly worth it then they’d accept you, flaws and all.  

You’ve never been one to like going to the grocery store. For one, you did not know how to buy food, like a responsible adult that is taking care of their body, or whatever Wanda called it. In your defense, your taste in food hasn’t changed much since getting older, so you bought things when you were a kid. Which was why your cart filled up with more snacks than actual food you had to cook. Wanda changed that quickly, getting a cart of her own and filling it with healthier options. You had honestly thought she was shopping for herself until you got to the checkout and she asked you to watch her cart while she went to grab something. She took your cart and never came back.

Leaving the grocery store, you actually felt happy. You were not looking forward to putting the groceries up but you’ve never had so much fun in the store. Usually, you’re being dragged around the store, not having much of a say over what’s being bought besides the occasional and reluctant ‘fine but only one’. Wanda never made you feel bad about yourself and when you saw her exiting the store with a small bag of your favorite snacks understood she wasn’t trying to completely bulldoze your life. You’ve never had someone care this much about what you were putting into your body, while also taking consideration into what you liked. Her plan wasn’t to completely change but just to make sure you’d live longer with a more (age) appropriate diet. Maybe if you could watch Wanda talk animatedly about the importance of organic fruits and vegetables in your diet, you’d always enjoy your time in the grocery store. You’ll definitely have to ask her to come with you next time, though you know she’d probably volunteer.

Arriving back home, Wanda arranged your new groceries into your fridge and cabinets. She had a satisfied look on her face as she looked at her work. She was almost satisfied enough to leave. Keyword almost - she didn’t have much faith that you would just order takeout again instead of cooking the food you just bought. She helped you prepare a simple meal and you enjoyed it while watching Friends in your living room. You learned Wanda was more of a sitcom person, preferring shows from the 50s-60s. When you revealed that you’ve never seen sitcoms from this era she almost took your remote to start an episode, but you came up with a compromise by designating a night where you would replicate the events of today but instead end with a huge binge of these shows.

 —

Your day with Wanda has officially come to an end, much faster than any of you hoped. As you pull up to Wanda’s house, you see her car in the driveway. Wanting to make sure she made it inside safely, you walk her to the door. The walk is silent with a light tension growing between you as you stand there just looking at each other. You want to make a move, but you still weren’t completely confident that Wanda would want that.

“We should do this again” You give her a small smile.

“Yeah we should,” she confirms. “I might need to make weekly visits to make sure you’re eating well” she ends teasingly.

“Well, I’ll hold you to it then,” you say before turning around. “I’ll see you soon Wanda”

“Please” Her hand grabs yours, preventing you from going any further. “Don’t go yet” her voice sounds so weak.

Pulling you back towards her, you see the hesitance in her eyes. Concerned, you move closer to her and squeeze her hand - that was still holding onto your tightly - in reassurance. She really doesn’t want you to leave yet. In a leap of courage, she leans forward first, and you follow suit. Your lips connect in a soft, yet passionate kiss, even you began to feel overwhelmed with emotion for some reason and she pulled away - you understood why.

“I want this, but I don’t know if I deserve to have it” she ends with a whisper, you could barely hear what she said. Tears started to escape her eyes, but before you could ask what was going on.

BEEP

Suddenly the sound of a car horn makes you jump apart. You hadn’t even noticed the other car pulling into the driveway.

“Mom!” a tiny voice screams from inside the car.

“Dad brought us to get ice cream, look how many scoops mine has, '' another voice says, as the car door opens.

Two young boys run towards Wanda, eager to tell her about their latest adventure to the ice cream shop. They didn’t even notice you standing there until they felt their mother stiffen, as they hugged her legs. Looking at you with innocent, yet questioning eyes, they pull away from Wanda and stand in front of you. Wanda uses this time to quickly wipe her face.

“Who’s this mom?”

“This is my new friend -”

“Y/n, and I was just leaving. I hope you enjoy your ice cream boys” you cut her off not wanting to stand there any longer, you rush back to the car - mumbling a quick goodbye. As you walked back, you saw a tall figure exit from the car and walk up to Wanda and the children. He ruffles their hair, noticing they were still watching you as you sat in your car.  Gathering their attention, he stares at them as he opens the front door.

“Okay kiddos, back inside we go. And let’s avoid making a mess this time” he says the last part firmly. You’re too distracted with your own internal meltdown to notice that the man completely ignores Wanda as he walks into the house. She looks so broken.

Deciding you’ve outstayed your welcome, you drive back home trying (and failing) to keep the tears at bay.

And if you listened to everything I’ve said so far, and they’re still here then you probably met a keeper, don’t ever let them go. For the first time ever you know your heart will be safe with someone and you’ll take security in knowing that they wouldn’t break it. Enjoy this feeling. 

Ouch.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #dontgobakingmyheart

[dreamifics]

John Wick x Assassin!Reader!

Two Broken Souls

Chapter 1:

A woman push pass people in the busy and rainy street of New York, she was making her way to The Continental. She was covering her face with the dark hoodie that envelops her whole body..

Entering the hotel, the woman caught everyone's attention, but it didn't faze her. She sashay her way to the counter, taking off her hood in the process.. Small gasps and hush whispers filled the hotel lobby.

The woman was all covered in blood, her eyes were blank and cold but she was carrying a black duffel bag.. This was Y/N L/N or as the underworld calls her 'The Reaper', she's a highly paid assassin and anywhere she goes Death always follow..

They all know that she is the perfect epitome of Death.

Rumors has it that she even surpasses the infamous 'Baba Yaga'..

But the truth is Y/N was hopelessly and completely in love with John Wick, they used to be partners but he left her for Helen, given they were just friends but he left her high and dry.. Y/N had no hard feelings, she just wanted John to be happy and it was nice to see that Helen unconditionally loves the man she also love.. Helen was a sweet and nice person while she is far from that.. She's just a quick-witted, sarcastic evil killer and deep inside her she knew that she didn't deserve John..

Everyone she loves will only die..

Reaching the concierge, she drops her hand to the desk and drop some gold coins.. Charon gave Y/N a small smile, and accepted the coins.

"Charon, give me a room and some medical supply.." Her voice was cold and blank, Y/N is not usually like this to peoole she's acquainted with.. Y/N is just having a rough day, for god's sake she was covered with blood that doesn't even belong to her and to top that up she have a gunshot wound in her abdomen.

"Rough day, Miss L/N?"

"You could say.." She answered while her fingers tapped the concierge desk, Y/N was slowly getting impatient.

"Here you go..Room 12--" He was cut off by the desk phone ringing.

"Please wait a moment, Miss L/N.." Charon answered the phone but he still hasn't given Y/N her keys..

Growing more and more impatient Y/N wanted to grab the keys from his hand and punched him but Charon is her frien--more like acquaintance..

"Okay, i'll move her.." Charon said aa he ended the call..

"Miss L/N, you have been moved to Room 134..Please enjoy your stay.."

He gives Y/N the new key and she grabs it and made her way to the elevator.. She was confused that she has been moved, knowing that Winston is probably the one behind this action, she just shrugged it off.

The elevator opens and it revealed a man with a black suit and a long hair that covered his whole face, Y/N doesn't even need to see the man's face.. She knew that this was the guy she loved, the one who she still loves.

John was stunned at the person that is infront of him.. Y/N L/N, the girl he used to love but didn't do anything because he was afraid to jeopardize their friendship, so he moved on and that's where he met Helen.

He noticed that Y/N was covered in blood, worries shot through his whole body.. Y/N may be a good assassin but she never cared about the state her body is in..

"Are you okay?"

Y/N's breath hitched, she felt a lump got caught in her throat and her heart was beating out of her chest. The way his eyes travel to her face and body, it was making her weak.

"Im-Im alright.."

John forehead creased, he can see when people are lying to him but Y/N was a very good liar.

"Is that your blood?" He asks gesturing to her whole body.

"Maybe 2 percent of it, the remaining belonged to many assholes who got in my way.." Y/N tried to joke but it came out a little rude..

"I see you haven't change.." John gave her a smile, it has been long since he smiled like this.

"Ye-Yeah..I have to go." She dismissed all the feelings that was once bubbling up again, she entered the elevator and John got out..

"It's nice to see you Y/N, i hope we can get a drink later.." John offered but he only got a blank stare from Y/N..

And she was gone, the elevator has closed it doors..

Y/N doesn't want to see John ever again, she was broken-hearted when he left, the pain she felt can't amount to any gunshot wounds she endured in her life.

Y/N hoped that this was the last time she will see John Wick, the man she loves..

The elevator reached her floor, she walks to her door and unlocked the room.. Entering inside she flops down the couch and grabbed the medical supplies that was laying around in the table infront of the couch.

After she took out the bullet and stitch herself up, she took a shower.. Now she's looking all over her hotel room for any alcohol that will supress the pain she was feeling.. But she found nothing, Charon and Winston know that she always need to have an alcohol in her room but what happend? Did they forgot?

Giving up she went through her clothes and pulled out a black dress, she slowly took of the bathrobes that were covering her body and carefully slid on the dress..

Y/N wore a black leather boots, hiding a dagger knife inside and putting a gun holster in her legs.. She can never be too careful, she let her hair fall on her shoulders as she grabs the door handle and swing it open.

In that exact time the door infront of her room also swing open revealing John..

Y/N mentally curses at herself, she didn't want to see John anymore.. It will only made it harder to move on, she sighs and slammed the door as fast as she could.

John noticed Y/N but his gaze was immediatly broken by the slamming of her door.. Was Y/N avoiding him?

He closed his door and knock on Y/N's.. John heard Y/N curse at herself and the door opened..

"Oh!Hey John!Didn't see you there!" Y/N faked a smile but John saw right through it.

"Drop the act..Are you avoiding me?" John asks with desperation in his tone..

Y/N was frozen, should she tell John her undying love? But she was not like Helen, she wasn't sweet nor nice and she can't givr John the normal life he yearns.. Helen and Y/N are different, John would never love a girl like her..

She was a cold-blooded killer..

A frown escaped her lips as thoughts like that crept unto Y/N's mind.. Shaking off her mind, she focused back on John who was giving her a penetrating gaze..

"N-Nothing, let's get that drink.." She pulled John's arm and lead him to the elevator..

As she touches John's arm it send thousand of sparks to her whole body..

"So what are you up to?" Y/N tried her hardest to change the topic and not look into John's heartmelting eyes..

"You know what i did...How about you?Last i heard you were in Italy?"

Y/N did vacation in Italy--and what she means by vacation was assassinating enemies of the High Table..

"Just a vacation.." She mutters and the elevator opened..

The two got in and pressed the ground floor, an eerie silence filled the elevator..

"Vacation?Did not know that you take those.." John joked making you frown..

"Ha ha!Did not know you make jokes.."

The two just laugh and the ambiance became more comfortable..

"So how are you holding up?" Y/N asks, her tone was dripping with worries..

"I'll be fine.." His face turned into a sad frown, it made Y/N's heart crack, Y/N aches when she sees the love of her life hurting..

"Im sorry.." Y/N comforted the man infront of her and gives him a hug..

And in that action, John couldn't contain the sadness in his heart anymore.. So he closed his eyes and embrace Y/N's hug.. His head falling on the nook of Y/N's neck..

"Im so sorry John.."

She tighten the hug and rubbed his back.. Why can't Y/N seem to let John go? Why can't she move on?

"If you want help, i can help you.. Let's kill those sons of bitches.."

John chucked and Y/N felt the vibrate of his laugh.. Her heart jumped and Y/N's throat getting drier every second that John was in the crook of her neck.

"This is my battle..Besides you are the only thing i have now..I can't bear to lose you too.." John explained, meaning every word of it.. Does he still have feelings for Y/N?

The elevator door reached the floor and the doors opened, standing there was a smirking Winston..

Y/N frowned when she knew what Winston was thinking, he was the only person that knows her undying love for John.. She pulled back from the hug and exits the elevator..

John felt a little disappointed when she pulled away from his embrace, and that's when he sees Winston standing infront of them..

"Hey Winston!" Y/N greeted the father figure she looks up to, and hugs him..

"Ahh!Dear!I see you found our beloved John Wick..." A sly smirk tugged in his lips, John didn't know what that means but he did noticed the way Y/N shifted uncomfortably..

"Im going to the bar.." Y/N announces, leaving John and Winston for the bar..

John watch Y/N walks away from them, the way her hips sway as she move.. He remembered the first time he saw Y/N..

It was another mission for John, kill Alessandro Rossi, the man who planned to overthrown him.. He was in a club waiting for Alessandro to walk in, sitting in the bar and that's when he saw Y/N..

Wearing a tight black dress and sitting across the club, with a drink in her hand.. Y/N was also waiting for Alessandro, she was ordered to get some information from the bastard

He still remember the first sentence Y/N said to him.

"Baba Yaga?You know that names is really weird..Thinking about changing it?" The woman said to him as she pointed a gun to Alessandro's head.

"Wh-what now?" John was mesmerized by Y/N, the way she took down the bodyguards and her sarcastic remarks when Alessandro curses at her..

"You bitch!Im going to kill you and send you to hell!"

"Who said your going to live?" Y/N's voice was blank but it was also dripping with smugness..

"BITCH!!IM SENDING YOU TO HELL!!"

"Well you see--Im the Reaper..Im the one who decides who dies and im also the one who drag people back to hell!"

John was just standing there as Y/N interrogates the man.. He smiles at how sassy she talks to Alessandro and Y/N interrogation skills was top-notch..

"BITCH LET ME OUT OF HERE!YOUR A HEARTLESS BITCH!!I'LL SEE YOU BURNING IN HELL!!IM GOING TO KILL YOU!!YOUR GOING TO DIE WHORE!"

John's jaws clenched at the insults he spit on Y/N, he was always a gentleman.. And that is no way to treat a lady.. He was about to do something when Y/N grabbed a knife and stabbed his knee..

"I know there's a compliment somewhere in there and i'll take it.."

"You bitch!"

"Ah, there it is!"

John stood there with a big smile in his face and when Y/N was done getting information out of him, John thought that she's going to finish the job but instead she turns around and gave John a viscious smirk.

"Im all done!You can kill the motherfuck--"

"You said i'll live!!" Alessandro cried and Y/N just slaps him in the face

''I also said that im 22 so see you in hell.." Y/N gave Alessandro a wicked smile..

"NOOOO!"

"Do it.." She said walking away from the dark warehouse and going outside to get some fresh air..

John just looked at Y/N amazed before turning back to Alessandro who was weeping..

John also remembered the day he realized he was falling inlove with Y/N

Y/N and John began a friendship--more like a partnership, the two was the most highly paid assassins and the most powerful..

It was John's birthday and he doesn't celebrate but when he met Y/N, she keep insisting to celebrate so Y/N throw John some suprise parties but she always fails because he doesn't show up.

Except for one, it was a day before his birthday when Y/N left and said she was going to do a mission in Tokyo but the truth was she threw John a suprise birthday party. The only people who was invited was the two of them..

He entered his apartment and that's where he saw Y/N.. Baking a cake which she was horribly failing at that Y/N didn't even notice John walking in.. The whole place was decorated with birthday banners and balloons..

"Damn!This cake is killing me!" She utters under her breath..

"What are you doing?"

"What the fuck?!" Y/N shouted and she pointed the gun at him..

"Woah!"

"Sorry!Thought you were someone else!"' She pouted and her eyes widen when as she remembered that it was a surpise birthday..

"Oh!SURPRISE!Ugh!I ruined it!I was the one who got suprised!" She shouted making John laugh..

"What are you doing?Are you trying to burn down my kitchen?" He jokes making Y/N frown..

"Ha ha!So funny!Just shut up and help me bake a cake!!Im the infamous Reaper but this cake is killing mee!"

And that was the day he knew he was inlove with you..

"John, you should go for it.."

John snapped back to reality as Winston spoke, he stares at the man and just shake his head..

"I don't know what your talking about.." John push pass Winston..

"You know she feels the same way.."

This made John stop, is it really true?

Is it true that the infamous 'Reaper' likes him back? The memory of Helen suddenly enters him mind.. He felt guilty, like he was cheating..

"Helen would want you to move on.."

John growls at Winston by the mention of Helen's name.. Winston just chuckled and taps his shoulder..

"Kids nowadays.." Winston mumbles and walked towards the elevator.

John sighs and made his way to bar where Y/N was sitting, a whiskey in her hand..

Y/N mind flew to the endless nights she was crying because of John, the way she watch John from a distant on his wedding day because she refused to come.. It took a toll on her emotional and physical state..

The days where Y/N was down, she didn't even do her job right.. It was always messy, her mind was always flying.. She remembers the time she saw John and Helen having fun, that was the day she accepted her faith..

That she and John will always and forever be just friends.

She moved the glass to her lips, taking a sip of the whiskey.. It burned her throat but she was addicted to it, the oh so satisfying burn of the alcohol..

Y/N saw from the corner of her eye a man was approaching her, Y/N's hand traveled to her gun holster, readying it if someone does attack her..

"Am i seeing right?Or Y/N L/N is drinking alone?"

Y/N turned around to see the owner of the voice, a small smirk played in her lips when it dawned to her..

This was Alex Kavelj, a past lover..

Partner.

Friend.

And enemy..

The two of them tried to kill each other, like Mr and Mrs Smith only without the happy ending.. Y/N ended up winning but she couldn't bring herself to kill the man she used to sleep with..

"Well if it isn't Mister Alex Kavelj.." A smirk played in her lips, she turned back her attention on the drink in her hand but her other hand was still on her holster..

"Come to kill me again?" She taunted at the man behind her, she doesn't know Alex intentions..

"You know i wouldn't do that to you.." He purrs sitting next to Y/N, he signaled to the bartender for a drink..

A scoff escaped her lips as she sips her whiskey, and just shakes her head in amusement.

"Lies.."

"Come on Y/N!Believe me!It's like we don't have any history together.."

Y/N wanted to throw her glass at the man beside her but doing that will cause only chaos to the two of them.. Alex just looked at her, his eyes were burning with lust.. And Y/N noticed it, she felt disgusted..

Y/N regrets sleeping with Alex, they used each other.. Y/N used him as a distraction from John while Alex used her for lust..

"Keep dreaming.." Y/N's voice was filled with disgust, she felt a hand on her shoulders.. She was ready to pounce Alex but she sees the man she hates was still sitting besides her..

Turning her head, she sees John with a serious face.. Y/N has got to admit that she was turned on for just a little bit..

"Is there something wrong?" John asks, his voice was stern and filled with authority..

Y/N just give John a small smile and turn to face Alex.. She slowly let go of her gun holster, she felt safe with John with her.

"Just dealing with pests, that's all.." She said gulping the last bit of whiskey in her glass..

"Mind if i sit with you?" John asks, his hand still holding her shoulder..

"Well that is the deal.." Y/N smiles, she hears Alex scoff..

"Is this your new boy toy?"

"No he's just a fri--"

"Yes, i am..Now what does it matter to you?" John cuts Y/N off, her jaw was wide open.. Surprised at what John had say..

"Chill man!Just reuniting with an old friend.." Alex winks at Y/N making her shudder in disgust.

"Okay..Now leave.." John demanded with the coldest stare anyone could ever get.

Alex just laughs grabbing his drink and walked away from but not without giving Y/N a flirtatious wink..

"Call me if that toy boy of yours is broken!" He waved at Y/N but she just growled at him..

Turning back her attention to the bartender while gesturing a refill.. John sits next to her, moving a little closer to Y/N.

"Who was that?" John asks his eyes were filled with anger and jealousy.. But Y/N didn't see it, she was busy melting in his eyes.

"Just an old acquaintance.."

"Doesn't seem like it.." John growls..

Y/N eyebrows were furrowed at her friends weird behaviour.. Ignoring it she takes another sip of her whiskey, John motioned for a drink and points at my whiskey.

"Yeah, im totally lying..We used to have a friends with benifits thing.. Then we tried to kill each other but i made the mistake of letting him go.."

John whole body stiffened when he heard that term 'friends with benefits'.. He doesn't even know what that means but that does sound very nice..

"What that does mean?" He asks..

Y/N laughs at John's confused face.. She forgot that John doesn't know slangs, he only used formal ones..

"Oh, God!I need to teach you slangs.."

John looked at Y/N as she drink all her alcohol, she faces him..

"Friends with benefits is a sexual relationship without the feelings and commitment.."

John felt his blood boil, he never knew that Y/N was capable of doing that.

"You did that?With him?"

"Well--Yeah.."

"Why?" John said glaring at Y/N..

She felt uneasy, this was the usual John.. Always protecting her, treating her like she was a kid.

"Well--I was reall--"

"You shouldn't do that!It--Just don't do that again.."

Y/N was getting angry as soon those words left his mouth.. He was the reason why.. He was the reason she threw herself at Alex.. He was the reason she was a blabbering mess when he retired.. She wanted to scream that in John's face..

All those days she felt alone and small, that's why she formed a relationship with Alex.. He was just a confidence booster for Y/N.

"You don't get to order me like that..It's my life and it's my goddamn decision!" She screams at John, it was full of anger and spite.

People are now staring at them, she stands up and paid the drinks she had..

"See you around, Wick.."

John knew that Y/N was mad at him, she just called him by his last name.. She never does that, again she saw Y/N walk away from him.

A part of him felt guilty, but he shakes it off and exits the hotel to carry out the mission that was given to him..

Y/N walks pass Charon, she toss some coins to him..

"Bottle of vodka.." Those were enough for the man to understand.. Y/N made her way outside, she was going to kill another enemy of the High Table..

Sighing, Y/N made her way to the apartment unit she owns.. It was already dark, she reached the door of her apartment..

Slowly opening it, she enters cautiously.. She wasn't followed but maybe someone was waiting here for her.. She grabs her gun, and scope the place but she found it empty..

Y/N enters her room and went straight to the closet.. There was some few clothes but it was just mostly guns, ammunitions and files.

She grabs a duffel bag and shove guns and grenades there, Y/N was busy packing when she hears her front door rattle it was followed by a knock.

She closed her walk in closet and hide behind a post near the front door.. She was ready to kill this person.

This could be someone after her..

Gripping her gun, she carefully walks to the door.. Taking a look at the peephole she found her neighbor who was an old woman..

She opened the door but not fully open, she hides the hand that was holding her gun in her back.

"Mrs. Kranowski!It's late, what are you doing here?" She fakes a smile and the old woman just pulled out a letter from her pockets..

"Dear, this was addressed to you but delivered to me..I got this today but since you were not here i kept it..And then i saw you entering your apartment so im giving it to you now..."

The woman gave Y/N the letter, and she gladly accepted it.

"Thank you Mrs. Kranowski.." She didn't give a chance for the old woman to talk, Y/N already closed the door, locking it in the process.

She examined the letter, it did belong to her.. Opening it, she saw a letter.. It was from her father, the leader of the Camorra crimial organization and also the member of the High Table.

Y/N is the youngest D'Antonio..

Yes, she was another D'Antonio, the youngest and most ruthless.. Their father treated her like a weapon, ordering her to kill people and doing his dirty works.. Santino was the only one who treated her like she was human..

No one even knew she was a D'Antonio, maybe it was a good thing, even John doesn't know her true identity.

She sighs as the horrible memories flooded her mind, the way her Father forced her to take advanced assassination training at a very young age.. The rigorous training that almost took her life.

The killer instinct inside her was awaken at the young age of 12.. She had no mother to protect her from the wrath of her Father.. So she had no choice but to oblied to his father orders

She starts to read the letter, her hands shaking at the crude penmanship that belonged to her father..

Dear Amore Mio,

Im sorry for the things that i put you through, i blamed you for your Mother's death but you were innocent.. I broke you, i failed you and your Mother.. I made you do horrible things, but know that i love you.. You are my little stellina, you are my cuoro mio..

The day you were born is the day of your Mother's death.. I regret not giving you a normal life, not spending time with you.. And im really sorry for making you the worst and evil version of you.. But i do know that you still have the last bit of goodness inside you, and Winston also told me about that pretty boy Wick that you love so much.. You have grown up, you have learned to love someone..

My time is running out, and you, my daughter will live a normal life, that's my last wish for you.. Your siblings will fight over my position in the High Table and i know you will be stuck in the middle of all this.. I have a last gift for you, i gave it to Winston.. I get that you trust him more than you trust me.. So i left it to the guy you trust so much..

Gianna will take over my position, but you know that Santino would not bow down that easy.. Bloods will shed and im thankful that you won't be a part of it.. Don't do anything stupid and live a normal life but i know that living like that is impossible.. I love you my little stellina..

Tears were strolling down her face, she didn't know what to do.. But she hates Winston for telling her father about John Wick.. She hugs the letter, nursing it..

This was the first time her father gave her affection, the first time her father apologized to the horrible things he did.. This was also the first time he ever mentioned Y/N's mother, and the first time he said i love you..

Y/N's phone rang making her snap out of her trance, wiping the tears in her face she stands up and looked over the caller id..

Santino..

She accepted the call and unsurely put it in her ear..

"H-Hello?" Y/N's voice was hoarsed, her brother doesn't even need to tell her, she knew that her father is dead..

"Y/N!Father is dead.."

"I-I'll be there.." Those were the words that left her mouth and immediately ended the call..

That's where she broke down, silent scream erupted from her lips.. Her soul was broken again, she was on her floor balled up like a baby..

She suddenly jolted up when she remembered her task, kill Monuira Guisa, this man was planning to elimanate a member of the High Table..

Taking off her feelings and emotions and shoving them to the pit of her stomach.. She can't mess this shit up, so she stands and wipe away the tears in her face..

She washed her face and changed clothes to a more comfortable and moveable clothes.

Grabbing the duffel bag with the ammunitions, guns and grenades.. She prepared herself, taking a deep breath she exits the apartment but before that she enabled her security system.

Locking the door, she discreetly walks away from the building and made her way to the task that was given to her..

Y/N arrives at the hiding spot her target is in, she first scope the place.. There were dozens of boduguards, which means one thing..

He knew someone was coming for him..

A viscious grin formed in her lips, she was going to blow some steam off.. She grabs gun and daggers, hiding it in her boots and jacket.

"Let's kill some motherfu--Ouch!" Y/N was starting to walk when she tripped over a rock.. Steadying and readying herself once again and started to walk..

Ready to kill..

People hide.. Death is coming..

Y/N stands in the middle of the room, she was surrounded by dead bodies courtesy by her.. Infront of her was Monuira, he was bound to a chair.. Sleeping peacefully, Y/N took a picture as another proof.. Then she bring her gun to his head and pulled the trigger..

The sound of her gun echoes through the whole room, sighing as she felt guilt run through the course of her body.

She grabs her bag from the floor and continues to exit the death scene.. No one survived, nobody was left alive..

She went straight to the street leading to the The Continental..

#john wick #john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick x y/n #imagines

[blossom-hwa]

Sunflowers |Summer| - JUYEON

Can’t believe it’s already Juyeon’s birthday!!! Hope deobiblr enjoys my contribution for the birthday of one of the best dancers in the kpop industry <3

I will be doing a taglist for Sunflowers, so if you’d like to be notified when the next part goes up, send me a dm or an ask! Post dates are also on my posting schedule :)

Pairing: Juyeon x gender neutral!reader

Genre: fluff, high school!au

Triggers: cursing

Word Count: 2.3k

Juyeon is just a sunflower, following the light of your smile. 

Summer | Fall | Winter | Spring | Summer, Once More

TBZ Masterlist | Interwoven

~ in summer, a stranger comes home

. . . . .

It’s the middle of summer when your mom delivers you a little piece of seemingly innocuous news, a piece of glittering information wrapped in old magazines and tied with cheap string to disguise its sparkle. Her voice literally vibrates with excitement when she tells you, which probably should serve as a warning or a signal of some sort, but in your defense, you’re tired from a day of classes and research programs and just want to eat and die.

“Our old neighbors are coming back!” she bursts, a spring in her step that you haven’t seen since the day you were accepted to your current prestigious research camp. “You know, the Lees who used to live next door?”

You blink once, then twice before the information sinks in. A memory settles at the front of your mind. “The Lees?”

“Yes!” She smiles widely. “I missed Yuna so much, I can’t believe she and her family are actually moving back. Don’t you remember, you used to be such good friends with Juyeon?”

More blurry memories of playing in the grass and dancing in the living room with a chubby little boy flash through your mind. You remember playdates that turned into study sessions in middle school, study sessions that disappeared when Juyeon moved away. And though you’d like to forget it, you remember sobbing your eyes out the day he left at the end of summer, the weather turning to fall. Sunflowers were blooming that day, wreathing your lawn in an unfairly bright ring of yellow as you wrapped him in one last hug before his father started the car and the family drove away.

“Mhm,” you only say, taking a box of cookies out of the cupboard. “I remember.”

“Won’t it be so much fun for you two to meet again?” Your mother’s smile turns suggestive as she side-eyes you. “You two were always so adorable together. Didn’t you once say he was your boyfriend in kindergarten?”

That memory makes you cringe. “Thanks, Mom, I was doing a really good job of forgetting that before you mentioned it.”

“Oh, hush.” She shoos you out of the kitchen. “You two were so cute together. I have no doubt you’ll be the best of friends again when they come back.”

“I haven’t seen him in four years, Mom,” you remind her. “People change.”

A glint comes into your mom’s eye. “Maybe so,” she replies cryptically, “but some feelings remain.”

Okay, so in hindsight, you should’ve taken a lot of what she said as a warning that your life was about to get flipped upside down by Juyeon’s homecoming. But with everything already on your mind, you more or less forget about the news until one day towards the end of summer, when your dad tells you to come straight home after your classes.

You stare up at him over your bowl of cereal. “Why?” you ask, mouth full.

“You don’t remember?” Your mom sits down just across from you. “The Lees are moving back in today, and we’ve invited them to dinner!”

Your brain buffers for a good few minutes before you finally recall your dad saying something about “dinner with the Lees when they come back” a couple weeks ago. “I didn’t know they already came back.”

“Well, they are.” Your mom’s fingers tap on the table with excitement. “You have your research, but we’ll be helping them move back in today, and then they’re coming over for dinner. We’ll probably already be home before you get back, so try not to look too messy, okay?”

Wincing, you remember the several still-recovering formic acid burns on your forearms from several days ago. You can’t hide those. “I’ll do my best,” is all you promise.

So that afternoon, instead of staying behind and chatting with a few friends, you find yourself walking down the sidewalk to the front of your house much earlier than usual. There are new cars in the driveway next door.

With the sunflowers beginning to bloom on your and your neighbors’ lawns, it feels eerily similar to the day Juyeon and his family left.

A slight wave of nervousness roils in your stomach. Quickly, as you walk up the pathway to your house, you try to untangle your hair with your fingers, straightening out your shirt as best as you can. As tired as you are, you don’t want to make a bad impression on your parents’ good friends. You don’t exactly want to look horrible in front of Juyeon, either. Even though he probably doesn’t have any idea what you look like anymore.

With a deep breath, you grip the doorknob and twist. It’s locked.

Frowning, you look down at the unmoving handle. Your parents must’ve locked it by force of habit when they came back.

So you knock.

Literally nothing could have prepared you for the boy who opens the door several seconds later to your pounding. He’s tall, muscled, with fine features and a curious look in his eyes, and he looks vaguely familiar.

For several seconds, the two of you just stare at each other, neither saying a word. As you’re trying to figure out why a really hot guy is at your house right now, a much more familiar woman appears in your line of vision, smiling widely as she holds out her arms to you. “Oh, my!” she cries, pushing past the boy to wrap you up in a hug. “I haven’t seen you in so long! You’ve grown so much!”

“Hi, Mrs. Lee,” you reply, still trying to figure out who the tall boy is. It isn’t until she starts pulling away that you realize he has her nose and her eyes.

Huh?

Then –

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

You nearly stumble back into the door from shock. “JUYEON?”

. . .

Juyeon thought his feelings for you had disappeared, he really did. When he moved away and thought he was never coming back, he took the love he’d held for you for so long, put it into a box at the back of his heart, locked it, and threw the key away. And as the years slowly passed, one after another, the box slowly disappeared from the forefront of Juyeon’s mind. He never forgot about it, but memories of you eventually stopped plaguing his mind day and night.

But that box never disappeared, not really. He thought it did, thought it dissolved into nothing over the years. Instead, it stayed, small but there, waiting for the right moment to burst and flood his body with the feelings he’d so carefully packed away so long ago.

That right moment is apparently when he opens the door to see a face he really never thought he’d ever see again.

Juyeon doesn’t recognize you, not at first. At second glance, he can pick out some distinct features that stayed the same (namely the sparkle in your eyes that hasn’t changed, even after all this time away). But during those first moments when he opens the door, he just stands there, trying to figure out who this person in front of him is.

Then it hits him, and the box of feelings explodes just as his mom starts pushing him away to wrap you in a hug.

You clearly don’t recognize him, judging by the curious looks you keep giving him over his mom’s shoulder. That makes Juyeon self-conscious – he hasn’t changed that much from when he left, has he? – and the embarrassment only compounds when you stumble back into the door, eyes widening as you yell his name in shock.

So, suffice to say, the conversation between you two at dinner is almost nonexistent. You look like you want the ground to eat you alive in your seat across from Juyeon, eyes barely looking up throughout the whole meal, talking only when someone asks you a direct question. Meanwhile, Juyeon’s stuck in his head.

Why, he despairs, didn’t these feelings actually disappear? Why does he still want to look into your eyes, get lost in your gaze like he used to so many years ago? Thoughts spin in circles in his head, thoughts of how you’ve changed and how you’ve stayed the same and how, oh God, his heart still races like no tomorrow when you meet his eyes for the briefest second before looking away out of embarrassment.

Juyeon needs a moment. He needs a moment to breathe, to think, to reason himself through this whole situation, which is why he volunteers to wash the dishes after dinner. Your mom starts praising him for being a perfect son and he dutifully lowers his head in embarrassed acknowledgment, thanking the heavens that he’ll have a moment to actually think, before she then looks at you to ask, “Why don’t you help Juyeon too?” and the world starts crumbling around his feet.

In perfect tandem, the two of you start picking up empty plates and bowls and carrying them to the kitchen sink. The adults make their way to the living room, laughing and chattering loudly, which only makes the potent silence between you two more prominent.

“I can wash,” you offer awkwardly, still barely able to look Juyeon in the eye (which is perfectly fine, because he thinks he might combust if you do just that). “You can dry? If you’re all right with that.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Juyeon tries to flash a smile, hoping it isn’t too shaky (the thumping in his heart makes it feel like the world is trembling around his feet). As the water runs and you start passing plates over to him, he does his best to ignore how close you are, how easy it would be to accidentally brush your arm with his.

Silence reigns until half the dishes are dry, and then you open your mouth. “Sorry about earlier,” you blurt, embarrassment and shame visible on your face. “I, uh, didn’t recognize you at first. Freaked out for a second.”

It’s surprisingly easy to laugh at that, to laugh at a statement that’s so blatantly you. You still haven’t changed, Juyeon thinks – you’re still the same bluntly apologetic friend he was in love with four years ago. It cheers him when your lips begin to turn up at his burst of laughter, face still embarrassed but beginning to warm with some happiness. “It’s okay,” he says, drying the next plate. “I didn’t recognize you either, not at first.”

“Well, I guess we can say that we’ve both changed,” you acknowledge, finally looking up fully.

Your smile could bring legions to their knees, Juyeon thinks. It certainly stops his hands from drying the next dish – in fact, he almost drops it. Even though the curve of your lips is small and he can’t see all of your teeth, the sparkle in your eye more than makes up for it. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah.”

The two of you scrub dishes for the next few minutes in quiet again. Juyeon has no idea what you’re thinking, but he’s just trying to calm the beating in his heart.

This is not how he expected to feel when he moved back. Not at all. What he’s feeling isn’t even just everything he locked away at the end of seventh grade – somehow, the emotions have multiplied, compounded over years of neglect, and now he’s getting the full force of it.

“My mom wants us to be friends again,” you say, breaking the silence once again. “What do you think about that?”

Um, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Juyeon thinks. Do you want to be his friend again? Or are you only trying to be nice to him for the sake of your parents?

“Well.” Juyeon bites his lip. “If you want to be friends again, I’d like that. But if it’s, um, just because of your mom, we don’t have to.”

At that, you smack a rubber-gloved, soapy hand against your head, shrieking slightly when you realize there are suds in your hair. Juyeon laughs, really laughs as he hands you a towel from a nearby rack. “God, I’m a fucking mess,” you groan, wiping the bubbles from your forehead. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I don’t want to be your friend again just because of our parents, that was just the only way I could think of to bring up the topic and yeah, I should’ve thought this out, I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Didn’t you get into one of the most prestigious research camps in the country?” Juyeon counters, hands moving automatically to take the towel from you and wiping off the suds himself. “You’re not an idiot.”

“Yes, I am.” You sigh. “I think it’d be nice to be friends again. If that’s fine with you.”

With your words fluttering in his heart, it takes Juyeon a good moment to realize he’s been standing with the towel pressed against your head for a full few seconds. Heat rising to his ears (he hopes you don’t see that), he quickly wipes off the last of the bubbles and returns the towel to the rack. “That’d be nice,” he echoes softly. “I’d like that.”

The smile you give him, tentative but much wider than before, makes Juyeon feel like he’s flying. He’s so far gone, he thinks, drying the last dish. He’s only seen you again for a few hours, and already your smile has him feeling some kind of way.

He’d follow that smile, he thinks. He’d follow that smile anywhere, just like one of the sunflowers on your lawn outside chasing the sun from dawn to dusk. That’s all he is, after all. A sunflower, following the light of your smile.

And as you look up, eyes scrunched as he says something to make you laugh, Juyeon doesn’t think he minds.

Not in the slightest.

#tbznetwork #starryktown #the boyz #tbz #the boyz scenarios #tbz scenarios #the boyz oneshots #the boyz imagines #the boyz juyeon #tbz juyeon #juyeon #lee juyeon #the boyz juyeon scenarios #tbz juyeon scenarios #the boyz x reader #juyeon x reader #lee juyeon x reader #fluff #triggers #cursing #high school!au #interwoven #sunflowers #sunflowers |summer| #scriptura-delirus

[trojc-rewrite]

The Rise of Jimmy Casket, Chapter 3

——————————————

Toast awoke to the sun blaring in his eyes and pain. Everything hurt, his throat, his leg, his back. He frowned as he shifted upwards. More hot pain flared through his leg, scorching up his side. He let out a small cry, immediately recoiling and lying back down. He groaned, rubbing his head.

Spooker shifted beside him, blinking tiredly. Toast had never seen him so tired before, his eyes were droopy and his hair was a mess. His beanie had sticks and leaves stuck in it, dirt and soot were smeared across his cheek.

“You look well rested.” Spooker said in a happy tone. Toast mustered up a smile.

“Yeah, hardly.” He said, trying to lean up again. More pain seared through him. He toughed it out, ignoring his body’s begging to tell him to sit. He needed to get up. He wasn’t going to let himself give up on why he came out here.

Toast weakly got up, trying to not put too much wait on his bad leg. Spooker helped him up. Colon was already up, examining the damage from the fire.

The wood was blackened and burned, just the tiniest bit warm still. Cracks and splinters scored the planks, letting Toast see inside of them. Something that stood out to him was the rippling green that stained the inside of some of the cracks. It wasn’t grass, it was a weird lime green, faint but still there. ‘What on earth?’

He reached down and picked up a small burned chunk, it stained his hand with ash. He examined the green some more. ‘What could this even be?’

Colon wandered over to him, looking curious. “How are you feeling, Toast?” He asked, glancing at the red cloth around his wound. Toast shrugged.

“Still alive, yeah?” He said. Toast showed Colon the blackened wood. “Hey, do you know what this could be?”

Colon took the piece gently, studying the green that emitted from the cracks. He shook his head, placing the piece back in Toast’s palm. “No idea, my best guess is that it could be something the firemen put on the fire last night.”

Toast nodded, stuffing the wood in one of his back pockets. “Well, we should keep going. The nearest town isn’t tha’ far away.”

Spooker stared at him like he had just suggested a crime, “Are you crazy dude? You can hardly stand! How are you gonna walk?”. He held out his arms in exasperation.

Toast shrugged, looking towards the North. “We’ll get there.” Spooker and Colon shared a look, but they didn’t need to say anything for Toast to figure out what they meant. “I know he’s out there. Trust me.”

Colon sighed, worried. “But what if he’s not, Toast? What if you get even more hurt or worse, and we’re just chasing something because you have a hunch! Toast; we’re worried. We know you miss Ghost, we do to-.”

Toast looked at him, “Just trust me. I know Ghost better than anyone here, just trust me.”

Spooker blinked, not saying any input. Colon gave him an unreadable look. “Fine, but if you get hurt again we’re leaving.”

Toast bit back a sigh. “Okay; then let's go.”

————————————————————————

They reached the town a little after noon, and the first thing Toast did was go to the library. The library was small, a line of old desktop computers filled a wall. Books of all volumes and colors sat in bookshelves that looked dusty. An older woman sat at a round desk in the middle of the room, flipping through a thick chapter book.

Toast limped up to her, Colon helping him while Spooker looked at a book shelf labeled “Romance”. She squinted up at him, fixing her glasses.

“Hello, how may I help you?” She asked, a small smile gracing her face. Toast returned it.

“Hello, I have a peculiar question. Would you happen to have any newspaper records on a man named Jimmy Casket?” He asked, feeling awkward. The lady blinked at him, a little confused.

“It’s for a school project for our little brother.” Colon said, trying to ease the tension off of Toast.

The librarian nodded, pursing her lips. “Well, we have a few I believe. You’ll have more luck in the towns a few miles over, dearies. But, I’ll go get the few that we have.”

She got up from her desk, and entered a room in the back of the library. Toast turned to Colon and nodded, “When did you pick up being that creative?” He asked. Colon shrugged.

“It’s probably the one thing Ghost taught me, to be able to lie on the spot.” He smiled playfully. Toast returned it solemnly.

A few moments later, the librarian returned with three newspapers, yellowed and crumpled a bit at the edges. “Here you are. I’m afraid it’s all we have.” She said, handing Colon the three newspapers. The two shared a look before Toast thanked her.

The two settled down on a table, opening the first newspaper. The title leaped at them in bold font, “Murderer struck down in South Carolina.”

Toast read quietly to himself and Colon. “ Yesterday, at 9:01 PM, a famous murderer in a small town in South Carolina, nicknamed “Casket”, was killed by police during one of his rampages. Witnesses say it was a horrifying experience. The man was no older than 18, and his step-mother, who preferred to stay anonymous, has told reporters that she ‘has no idea how he turned out this way.’

“ He was such a loving and kind child, accepting me right away as his father’s wife. When his father died, he took it upon himself to be the best figure possible for his family. I don’t know what happened to him.”

Police are still looking into possible victims of this man's heinous crimes. The towns folk are sending their regards to the families of his confirmed victims.”

Toast took a breath, finishing the paragraph. Colon blinked.

“Wait wait wait, who is this Jimmy Casket guy? How does this have anything to do with Ghost?” Colon asked, flicking the page of the newspaper. Toast traced a circle in the table.

“Let’s say I’ve met him in a few of my missions with Ghost.” Toast worded carefully.

The two finished reading the other articles and handed them back to the librarian. “You three boys have a nice night.” She said with a smile.

“You too ma’am.” Toast responded politely. Spooker was by the entrance of the library, reading Twilight on a bench. “C’mon Spooker put the book back, it’s time to go.”

Spooker frowned, sadly putting the book on a “put back” cart. He followed his co workers outside, it was night now. The moon shined down on the town, yellow lights dancing on the gravel ground.

“Well, we keep moving.” Toast said. Colon and Spooker groaned.

The three made it to the edge of town, making it out of a large pine forest. A river lay ahead of them, deep and murky. It was quiet and slow moving, but you could tell it was deep.

Spooker pointed to a bridge, “Let’s cross there.” He said. Colon and Spooker helped Toast to the stone and wood crossing. The wood was wet and rotten in spots, and it groaned as Toast stepped on it.

“Let me go first,” Toast volunteered. Spooker and Colon shook their heads at him, but Toast ignored them. He limped across the wailing wood, yelling under his weight.

As he got closer to the middle, a figure stepped out of the darkness. Long legs stepped lightly on the cedar, tapping away at the weak wood. Toast stared in confusion, trying to figure out who the person was.

His brother's face gleaned from the shadows, stepping out into the moonlight. Toast's eyes widened, blinking in shock.

“Gavin? What are you doing here?!” His brother's gray-green eyes glared at him.

“Sorry Johnny Boy, but I’m gonna have to stop ya righ’ ‘ere. Or else my frien’ might not be the happies’ with me.” Gavin apologized. Johnny could tell that his brothers apology wasn’t sincere in the slightest. In fact, it sounded more taunting than anything.

“What do you mean? Gavin, please what do you mean?” His brother stepped forward.

And then with incredible speed, green-orange fire erupted from his hand. Toast dodged out of the way, knocking into the railing. The bridge under him groaned in agony. Gavin’s hot flames flicked his face, burning his cheek

“Do ya like my tricks?! Pays when ya work with ghosts.” Gavin laughed. More flames shot from his palms, hitting Toast's feet. Toast tried to get away, but the movement was too much for the bridge.

His foot went through the rotten wood, and he grappled onto the jagged stone, barely saving himself from falling into the river. ‘I won't be able to swim. I'm too weak.’

Spooker and Colon cried out, “Toast!”. Colon stepped forward to charge at Gavin, but Spooker held him back.

Toast looked back up at his brother, begging for his remorse. “Please Gavin, I’m your brother!” He begged. His fingers hurt from grappling the wood, rotten splinters digging into his palms.

Gavin chuckled, “Yeah, but then ya got all lame n’ sappy with Mary n’ Ghost. You ain’t the same anymore. And Ghost is borin’ too now. Trust me, what we’re workin’ on, it’s for the good o’ both o’ ya’.”

Johnny glared at him, “Who’s we?” He asked curtly. Gavin growled at him.

“See ya’.” Gavin returned his brother's angry tone. He raised his leg to kick him. Toast grabbed his brother by the leg and yanked him down with him, letting go of the bridge. His brother yelled angrily.

“TOAST!” Spooker screamed in horror, racing to the edge of the bridge. Toasts world went deaf as he hit the water, slowing under it. His brother disappeared with a flash of green, leaving him alone to drown.

Toast tried to swim and kick his legs, but he just hurt too much. Everything hurt, he felt so heavy. Maybe he wouldn’t see Ghost, maybe he wouldn't hold up his promise to Mary.

‘Oh Mary, I’m so sorry.’ He rubbed his wedding ring necklace. He closed his eyes, sinking.

Then, something grabbed him by the torso. Gray and blue flashed hazily in his darkened vision. He kicked weakley, trying to help whoever had grabbed him.

He and his rescuer broke to the surface, and he gasped for air. Cold water trickled down his face, clogging up his senses. The world became hearable again.

His rescuer slapped him down onto the grass, and he could hear Colon and Spooker running across the bridge, ignoring the bridge's pleas.

“Didn’t your rich mother ever take you to swimming lessons?” A tired, sarcastic voice asked.

Toasts heart leaped in his chest, and he opened his eyes.

There, infront of him, was Ghost.

#p.i.e #paranormal investigators extraordinaire #venturiantale #johnny ghost #jimmy casket #johnny toast #venturiantale pie #fred spooker #colon ghostie

[rightsockjin]

Hi, can i request 21 and Yoongi please?

Here you go! I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Collage AU! Yoongi and you are in the same psychology class and he really can not stand you...

Rating: K+

Genre: FLuffY flufF Fluff... It’s fluff. but like a lil..

This was really fun to write and I can’t wait until I get to write the rest! Please send in an ask if you want to request a prompt! 

Prompt list

She’s just so obnoxious,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Then stop talking to her,” Joon said with a shrug as he turned the page of his book.

Waves of frustration ran through him. He didn’t really think that Joon wasn’t looking at him. He knew he was overreacting but he needed to blow off steam.

“I can’t,” he groaned for what felt like the millionth time.

“Why?”

Questions.

That was what Joon was made up of.

Whats and whens and whys.

Yoongi, being the introvert he was, usually wasn’t fond of people like this but Kim Namjoon had been an exception.

He’d never tell him that though.

It was too fun to roll his eyes at his -

Fr-

Frien-

Fr-fr-

*cough* friend *cough*

He did just that before running a hand through his dark hair.

“If I had a 500 won for every time you ask a question-“

“You’d be rolling in money- yeah I know,” Joon said, still not looking up. Carefully, he highlighted a sentence.

Yoongi watched as the perfect yellow line appeared against the slightly beige page filled with poetry.

Namjoon was anal about things like his notes and books and writing.

Yoongi on the other hand, wrote like a kindergartener and didn’t give a single shit.

Still... It was kind of satisfying to watch him highlight words.

“Still, I don’t see why you keep in contact with her if she gets on your nerves.”

Yoongi scoffed.

How many times must he explain?

“Because!”

When he didn’t continue, Namjoon finally glanced up through his lashes as if this would be enough to egg him on to continue.

Yoongi raised his eyebrows, daring him to ask another question as he crossed his arms.

With an exasperated sigh, Namjoon grabbed a bookmark from his pence bag that was carefully coordinated by color and stuck it between the pages before he closed it and set it aside on the table they were sharing to study.

Study, being a loose explanation for their presence on campus since Yoongi had only set his multiple psychology books on the surface of the table and hasn’t touched them since he sat down half an hour ago.

“I‘ll bite,” Joon said, a smirk on his face as he straightened and pushed his glasses on the bridge of his tiny nose.

Yoongi smiled and waited for his Fr-Joon to ask him to continue.

Hey, he may be an introvert, but he had feelings and emotions that he wanted to get off his chest and Namjoon was a fantastic listener.

He never took his sarcasm to heart.

This is one of the many reasons that Yoongi liked...

Anyway-

“Because of what, Yoongi?”

A dopey smile graced Namjoon’s face as he rested his round cheeks on his knuckles.

This is what he was talking about.

Full attention bitch!

“Because,” Yoongi said once again as if it was an inconvenience to speak at all, “she’s the smartest person in my psyc classes! I refuse to acquaint myself with anyone who isn’t level with my intellect.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes tapping his long fingers against his dimples cheek.

“Big words for such a small man,” he said before breaking out into high pitched giggles.

“You know what isn’t small?” Yoongi challenged.

“Your ego-“

“My dick- awe come on man! Just once let me have my fun,” Yoongi groaned slamming a hand on one of the biggest and heaviest books he had.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the library aid glare in his direction.

He smiled and waved cheekily but shrunk into himself slightly before he turned back to Joon and his infuriating smile.

“You look like a big baby in those overalls,” Yoongi said when he couldn’t think of a good comeback.

Namjoon smiled and leaned back, his hands threaded in his hair.

“That’s the aesthetic I was going for.”

Stupid tree hugger.

Yoongi opened his mouth to say something else.

Probably something about his obnoxious habit of tapping his pens on the table when a chair was pulled up on his left quickly followed by one on his right.

Hoseok and Seokjin

Or as he liked to refer to them in his head-

Icarus and Narcissist

-weren’t exactly his friends rather, they were Namjoon’s friends but he tolerated them on most days as long as they didn’t come on too strong.

Today was one of those days that they got on his nerves instantly.

“Yo,” Hoseok half yelled, getting an annoyed “shh” from the library aid, his chair turned so the back was facing the table and his legs were spread on either side.

“How’s it going,” Seokjin added.

“Did your class end early?” Namjoon asked, looking down at his watch in confusion.

“Nah,” Hoseok answered looking at Seokjin mischievously.

“We snuck out of the lecture half way through.”

Namjoon scrunched his nose in distaste while shooting the library aid an awkward smile at Hoseok’s loudness.

“That is so irresponsible Hobi! Don’t expect me to stay up with you two all night for the next test like I did last time-“

“Oh don’t start with the lectures Namjoonie,” Hoseok groaned.

“We just snuck out of one, we clearly don’t want to listen to boring people drone on and on and on....”

“I hope you have fun failing your next exam.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Hoseok said clearly unbothered, “you said that last time as well.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. He’d never told Namjoon but that Hoseok really struck a nerve with him.

He was always relying on Namjoon to make sure he passed his classes since all of them were in the same minor- music.

He never did anything on his own and in general, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel he was using him.

Maybe he was jealous.

But nope that wasn’t it Yoongi didn’t do feelings aside from annoyance.

“Whatever,” Joon said, turning his attention back to Yoongi, “anyway, can’t you just- I don’t know, talk to her minimally?”

“Talk to who?” Seokjin asked curiously.

“Her?” Hoseok added, his eyes wide.

“Does Yoongles have a girlfriend?”

“Thanks a lot,” Yoongi said, staring directly at Namjoon with a ‘look at what you did’ expression.

Namjoon shrugged and blushed.

That was another thing.

Namjoon didn’t have a single filter.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Yoongi clarifies.

“I have a nemeses,” he said, his fist clenching on the table and his eyebrows connecting.

A slight silence followed after that.

Then like dominos, Hoseok burst out laughing, closely followed by Jin and then finally by Namjoon.

Yoongi felt his cheeks warm as the boys raucously laughed. Hoseok slapping his leg, Namjoon covering his mouth and Seokjin rocking in his chair.

“Wha-well she is! She’s like... top of my class! It’s always between me and her and it’s gone to her head!”

“Ah- Uh- a nemesis?” Hoseok asked between explosive laughter.

“Or like arch-enemy,” Yoongi said with a thoughtful sigh, accepting his fate as the boys laughed louder.

Even Namjoon, who was just as anal about following the rules- which Yoongi guesses had something to do with the pretty Library aid was laughing his full belly laugh.

“An arch-enemy?” Seokjin asked for clarity.

Yoongi nodded.

“She’s like my mortal enemy,” he finished.

Yeah

That felt right.

It was a couple more seconds in which the aid glared in their direction and their laughter died down.

Yoongi waited patiently for them to quiet so he could continue. Might as well. They all knew now.

When they finally did, Namjoon noticed the way the aid was looking at them and blushed, hiding in his oversized hoodie.

“Don’t you think that’s a little over the top?” Seokjin asked, whipping a tear from the corner of his eye.

“No.” He answered simply.

And he wasn’t.

You were everything he couldn’t stand.

You were inquisitive like Namjoon.

You were overtly loud like Hoseok.

And you were as full of yourself as Seokjin.

And on top of that, you were a genius?

You had all of their worst qualities, and

He.

Couldn’t.

Stand.

You.

Namjoon cleared his throat then, drawing his attention back to the group.

He looked flummoxed.

“Maybe we should go eat or something... I’m starting to feel bad for the people studying.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok giggles looking in the direction that Namjoon kept glancing in.

“It has nothing to do with the death glares that glasses is giving us, right?”

He pointed over at the aid who was indeed shooting daggers in their directions

“No!” Namjoon said instantly.

“It’s just that the library is supposed to be a quiet place for studying-“

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist English boy,” Hoseok said.

Yoongi scoffed.

“The best you could come up with was English boy?”

“Well I’m not an English boy,” Hoseok answered dramatically swooning.

“Clearly,” Namjoon murmured, putting his stuff in his satchel.

Yoongi began to pack up as well. He really had planned on getting some reading done while he was hanging out with Joon but he quite obviously got side tracked.

He’d have to do it later.

“So where do we wanna eat, gang?” Hoseok asked, standing up.

“I think I’m gonna pass,” Yoongi said, realizing that he hadn’t started on the paper he was supposed to do yesterday either for his music theory class.

“Awe no,” Hoseok moaned grabbing Yoongi’s shoulders, “it’s all of us or none of us!”

Yoongi huffed and pushed his arms off of him, “then I guess it’s none of us. I have a shit ton of homework to do and you people distract me.”

Namjoon crossed his bag over his chest and squinted at him.

“But hyung,” Namjoon began, “you’re the one who asked to meet in the first place.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s really not that hard,” you said as you spread your perfect color coded notes all over the table that you and Yoongi were working on.

Then your computer

And your pens that were sorted by thickness and color.

And your textbooks.

When you were done, Yoongi only had about a quarter of the space you had. 

Given, he just had his laptop and a single notebook-

No pen though.

It was still rude how you had taken the entirety of the space available for BOTH of you.

“It’s rooted in the way that humans tend to identify with colors and pictures. We can’t help but to interpret art in a way that speaks to us which is why it’s so useful for therapy.”

“I know that,” Yoongi snapped with a roll of his eyes, “I just don’t know if it’s the most useful strategy when it comes to someone who’s never been in therapy before.”

He bit at his thumb in thought.

“Why wouldn’t it be? It would take a lot of pressure off of the psychologist and the patient so they don’t feel cornered into talking about their feelings.”

“Well what if the patient is uncomfortable with their art work? Or they have no interest in drawing or music? How would you go about that?”

Yeah.

Art therapy was great.

Honestly, that’s the branch that Yoongi wanted to study and had chosen the topic for that exact reason.

He just hadn’t expected you to choose it as well.

Now, he was trying-

And failing

-At trying to discredit the practice.

“You have them look or listen instead. Then they can just write what they feel. It’s simple Yoongi.”

He grunted, leaning back against his chair.

“Okay fine. Put that into the powerpoint,” he conceded.

“I will.”

You booted up your computer and he lost himself in the sound of the keys you pressed.

On his screen, he could see the shared PowerPoint and her cursor moving. He’d done maybe two of the slides on it because you were so over the top controlling that he’d given up trying to contribute.

“Hey Yoongi,” you said as you continued to type.

He peeked up at the sound of your voice from behind his screen.

“Can I ask you an uncomfortable question?”

Yoongi’s blood ran cold.

She seemed to take his lack of negation as confirmation.

“How long have you been in love with me?”

How long had he-

Had he-

D:

Wha-what?

Were you kidding?

Yoongi laughed. Obviously it was a joke.

But you stopped typing and looked over at Yoongi.

Your hands were folded on the table next to your notebook.

Your glasses rested on the tip of your nose.

Your bun was messy. Strands of hair framed your face.

The top button of your white shirt was undone.

You weren’t amused.

“Wait,” he leaned forward, slapping his hands on the table and leaning forward, “you’re not serious are you?”

With a single finger, you pushed the black frames up slowly.

Tiredly.

“I am.”

How could someone misread him so badly?

Yoongi took a deep breath.

“Y/N,” deep breath, “I am not in love with you.”

With a soft smile that sent his stomach in a frenzy and a scowl on his face you leaned forward.

“Has anyone ever told you that there is a fine line between love and hate?”

“That’s just a theory,” Yoongi said instantly leaning back. If that’s all you were going off of then you had no basis to your hypothesis.

“A theory grounded on the intensity of emotions and the predictability or lack thereof of human psyche.”

He scoffed.

Not Yoongi’s.

He only held disdain for you.

While he really hadn’t thought that you would notice his clear dislike of you, he was a little confused as to why you would think it would lead to him falling in love with you.

This wasn’t a romcom.

Right?

“Look, Y/N,” he chuckled, “the only feelings I have for you are-“

Stop.

Don’t say it.

“Contempt.”

You raised an eyebrow at that.

A pretty smile-

What? Where did that come from?

A smirk tugged at your lips.

“We’ll see how long that lasts.”

Yoongi couldn’t take it any longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’d had enough.

ENOUGH.

You hadn’t spoken to him ever since your presentation.

And it was a great presentation!

He even spoke and everything!

People were shocked.

He was pretty sure almost everyone in that class thought he was mute.

He had even been extra nice right before so that you won’t give him a bad peer review.

So. *Inhale*

*exhale*

Why in the name of all that is holy did you suddenly decide to not speak to him or even so much as glance at him?

He walked into class that day and had been kind enough to save you a seat.

Out of the pure kindness of his heart mind you.

Kindness that he displayed for no one.

And yet you had bypassed him entirely and sat way in the back without so much as a friendly hand wave.

What a bit-

*tire screech*

In the end, he supposed it didn’t matter.

You’d been a pain in his side since you both started your degrees and it would be much easier to destroy you if you weren’t friendly.

Fine.

Fine.

Okay.

Good.

If it was a war you wanted it was a war you would get.

…

…

...

....but why hadn’t you talked to him?

Had he hurt your feelings?

Maybe he shouldn’t have told you that he hated you.

Well not that he hated you more like he just thought you were beneath him or something like...

He surmised that girls tended not to like when men told them they hated them.

He’d been rude.

But it wasn’t his fault...

After all, isn’t it rude to assume someone is in love with you?

Conceded at the very least.

He knew you were full of yourself, what with your hanging mirror key chain and selfie studded phone case, but that was just too far.

To assume that because someone didn’t like you...

They were in love with you?

You were clearly in the wrong field.

Yoongi must have scoffed out loud because Hoseok, whom had been the first of the Fr-

*gag*

Of the boys to show up, looked up from his pizza menu quizzically.

“What’s on your mind Yoongles?”

“For the millionth time, Hoseok-”

“I doubt it’s been a million times-”

“Please,” he sighed, “don’t call me Yoongles. My name is Yoongi... call me hyung if you want-”

Hoseok made a high pitched noise somewhere in the back of his throat and put a hand over his chest.

“I thought you would never ask!”

He launched himself across the table and wrapped his arms around his neck, his cheek pressed against him.

“Tha’usen’t a’question...”

it was then that two sets of footsteps neared their table near the back and Yoongi felt his cheeks burn.

“Get off me,” he said in a monotone voice, using his palm to push Hoseok’s face off of his.

Joon and Seokjin stood side by side watching the two sitting men with confusion written all over their faces.

“Okay who died,” Jin asked looking at Hoseok’s now down cast expression.

“My Love for Yoongi hyung,” he said melodramatically.

Yoongi rolled his eyes and scooted towards the end of the booth so Joon or Jin could slide in.

It was Jin that sat next to him.

Joon slid into the opposite side only for Hoseok to wrap himself around his strong arms.

“You love me don’t you Namjoonie?”

“Sure,” Namjoon said, patting his friend’s head.

Hoseok shot Yoongi a smug glare as if he was meant to be hurt by his actions but he couldn’t care less.

He shrugged.

Clearly not taking kindly to being ignored, Hoseok cleared his throat

“Keep your balls blue Hyung...”

Namjoon scrunched up his whole face and pulled his arm from Hoseok’s grasp.

“Dude,” he said, “we’re about to eat!”

“Where did that even come from,” Seokjin questioned, looking Yoongi up and down as if the answer was written on him.

“I have no idea,” Yoongi answered with a slightly embarrassed shrug.

“Yoongi hyung’s been muttering about that girl in his class for the last 10 minutes. My guess is he’s frustrated.”

Joon and Jin turned to look at Yoongi who looked at Hoseok disgustedly.

“How many times do I have to say that I DON’T like her?”

The three men blinked at him in confusion.

“When have you ever had to clarify that?” Namjoon asked with his eyes wide.

?

Ha-hadn’t he?

Yoongi realized his mistake.

He’d told you that.

Not the guys.

Well Fuck.

“I just meant that I shouldn’t have to clarify that.” Yoongi said, trying to ignore Seokjin and Hoseok’s excited looks.

“Don’t push my buttons,” he warned just as a waitress approached with a fake smile and tired eyes.

“We won’t,” Jin assured making Yoongi relax slightly.

Then under his breath

“Looks like someone else already is.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Y/N,” Yoongi yelled after you as you hurried out of class.

You had a stack of books in your arms and your bag seemed extra heavy.

Your hair was pulled up and out of your face again.

You seemed to be in a hurry.

You didn’t stop. Maybe you hadn’t heard him.

He called out to you again but you seemed to be walking faster.

He sped up.

So did you.

“Y/N!”

But you didn’t slow and then you got lost in the crowd.

Yoongi stood in the middle of the sidewalk totally confused.

With a sigh, he walked back to his car and drove home for the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi grabbed your wrist loosely so that you could pull out of his hold if you wanted.

He didn’t wanna like...

Freak you out or something.

To his surprise, you didn’t pull away.

You stopped walking.

He had a whole speech planned out.

He’d written questions

He had his journal in his hand color coded and everything!

At Namjoon’s suggestion.

So why is it that now that he was looking into your eyes that he froze?

“Yes?” You asked with the most monotone expression he’d ever seen.

He opened and closed his mouth in confusion.

He looked like a fish out of water.

Why was he so thirsty?

He felt like he’d eaten a whole box of saltines.

As he looked at you he realized...

Had you always been this pretty?

He blushed profusely.

He let go of your hand.

He said nothing.

And now HE took off in the opposite direction.

See...

Yoongi wasn’t used to feelings.

As it was he didn’t even like the idea of calling the boys his...

Fr-

Frie-

*clearing throat* FrIEndS.

He’d never really had friends before anyway and he’d been just fine.

Feelings weren’t part of the equation ever.

It was business.

They were in similar classes and that was that.

So why did his hate for you, suddenly not feel so bad?

So heavy?

Why did Yoongi feel like he could fly?

Without thinking, he must have made it to the dorms because the next thing he remembered, he was standing before Seokjin’s door panting and sweating.

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see both Joon and Hobi-

Hoseok

-in the room.

They looked at him expectantly.

Like they already knew what he was going to say.

But they couldn’t know.

Though... Namjoon was highly receptive. He had a way of reading Yoongi that he’d never considered and was always ready to listen. He’d always made time for him even when his perfectly made schedule didn’t match Yoongi’s request to meet up.

Hoseok smiles at him from one of the beds. His body was stretched out across Joon’s lap.

There was a little sun sticker on his nose and two stars on his forehead.

Yoongi couldn’t help but smile back.

Hoseok may be annoying but he sure as hell knew how to make Yoongi smile and forget his current situation.

“Yoongi?” Seokjin asked.

“Did you...” with wide surprised eyes, “run here???”

His perfect nose twitched in concern.

“Hey hyung,” Yoongi said with a tiny bow.

���Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” he answered, clearly surprised at Yoongi’s honorific.

He opened the door wider and let the flushed man in.

The room was small.

It felt cramped with all four of them in there.

Especially with Namjoon’s long legs but no one mentioned it.

“Is something wrong hyung,” Namjoon asked with concern on his features.

Ugh. Feelings.

“I Uh- no...”

“You know,” Jin began closing the door and sitting on the bed opposite Joon and Hobi-

Hoseok.

“For a psychology major you really don’t do a great job of analyzing your own feelings.”

...

He had a point.

How was Yoongi supposed to help other people when he couldn’t even help himself emotionally?

He cleared his throat, realizing that they were all looking at him expectantly.

“This is a safe place hyung,” Hoseok said with a smile, sitting up as if this made it more official.

Yoongi has to admit...

his... friends...made him feel safe.

With a deep, pained breath, Yoongi began.

“You guys know that girl I’m always complaining about?”

“Your mortal enemy ™️ ?” Hoseok asked excitedly.

Like a puppy.

A cute puppy.

Yoongi smiled.

“Y/N... yeah... uh she’s been ignoring me lately.”

Seokjin places a hand on his shoulder so he would look at him.

“What did you do?”

Yoongi scoffed

“No-nothing! I didn’t... okay well I did tell her I didn’t really like her but I mean- it’s not like it was news? Isn’t it obvious I don’t like her?”

The room was dead silent.

Yoongi expected his friends-

Hey that was getting easier to think about-

-to instantly say that it was clear as day that he hated your guts.

Instead, all the boys, his friends, avoided his gaze.

“Isn’t it?” He pressed in concern.

“Hyung,” Namjoon began with a pained expression, “if I'm being honest... I always thought you had a crush on her.”

Wait what?

“Yeah,” Hobi joined in as soon as he realized he didn’t have to be the one to break the ice, “you’re always saying how intelligent she is. How you only associate yourself with her. Damn you barely associate yourself with us! The fact you want to speak with her is kind of huge!”

“But... but I- No! That’s only because I need someone to be partners with in class!”

“Then why,” Seokjin cut in, his voice firm, as if he had the winning argument and he knew it, “do you insist on talking to her outside of class all of a sudden?”

Yoongi was ready.

He opened his mouth ready to explain exactly why he wanted to speak with her after class when-

He had nothing.

Not one thing.

There should be no reason for him to want to speak with you outside of class.

He should only be putting up with your smart... cute...-

*bleh*

mouth in class.

He closed his mouth and looked down at his thighs.

“Dude... have you ever considered that maybe... just maybe... you hate her so much because you’re attracted to her?”

Yoongi looked over at Namjoon. His eyes were soft. It was just a question.

Namjoon would have made a good psychologist.

Yoongi thought back to all those times he’d been irrationally angry

Like that time he’d gotten a lower grade than you by one mark.

Or that time you had corrected him in front of the entire class when he had answered a question in class.

Or even recently, worse still, when you began to ignore him.

Under the anger were other feelings.

Pride.

Surprise in like a good way.

Hurt...

“Wait let me get this straight,” Yoongi said as his heart raced.

The boys waited with baited breath.

“You’re telling me that you think I’ve fallen in love with my self professed mortal enemy?”

Hoseok blinked at him then from out of nowhere, he pulled out a sticker sheet and peeled one off.

He aggressively placed what looked like a smiley face on his forehead.

“Gold star for hyung!”

“That’s not a star Hobi,” Namjoon said with a roll of his eyes.

“Well I don’t have any more stars! I only have smiley faces!”

Yoongi groaned, reaching up to pull the sticker off but one pleading look from Hoseok and he retreated.

Hobi smiled.

“ I don’t know if you’re in love per se... I think maybe you have a crush on her? It’s just always felt like behind all your complaining there was-“

“Love,” Hoseok interrupted.

Namjoon glared at him turning to look at him.

He was met with a little tree sticker on his nose.

Namjoon stared at it surprised and effectively shut up.

“Yoongi hyung’s in love,” Hoseok singsonged.

Yoongi felt his cheeks reddened deeply. He held his face in his hands to cover it up but his ears were a five away.

“Look how red he is!” Jin said beside him.

“Oh my God it’s true!” Hoseok said with a gasp.

“Do you really like her Yoongi?” Namjoon asked.

This was what hell was made of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was later that same day that you guys had class together again.

This time, Yoongi knew what he had to do.

When time was called for the class to be dismissed, Yoongi was prepared. He packed everything quickly and ran after you without calling out your name.

This way you couldn’t run.

Was that creepy?

That sounded creepy.

Anyway.

He tapped your shoulder and as if in slow motion you turned.

A pink aura surrounded you.

Your eyes sparkled.

Wow... you’re really pretty.

AND YOU WERE SPEAKING TO HIM.

Focus Min Yoongi!

“Wh-what?”

Smooth Casanova.

“I asked what you wanted.” You answered with a concerned expression.

“Oh... right,” Yoongi said, rolling his shoulders back and taking a deep breath.

“I just wanted to apologize.”

You raised your eyebrows,

Yoongi?

Apologize?

“For what?”

“For... for telling you I dislike you.”

“If I remember correctly, you mentioned contempt.” You said, your arms crossed but you didn’t seem mad. Just curious.

“Right. Well it was wrong of me to say. You are very smart and capable if it wasn’t obvious from our perfect score on the presentation.” He complimented

“Right, yeah, I know,” you said.

Silence.

“Well if that’s it then I have to go.”

Yoongi reached out for you, grabbing your hand with his much bigger one.

A fierce blush blossomed across his cheeks when u didn’t pull away.

It felt nice to hold your hand.

“I... I also wanted to say that...” this was it.

This was the movement everything changed.

Do or die.

Fight or flight!

“Yes?”

You knew.

He could tell in the way you smiled at him.

The way you raised a perfect eyebrow.

You knew.

It had come down to this.

Yoongi thought back to that day when you had first proposed the idea that he might well be in love with you.

And then he wondered…

Had you been ignoring him…

To prove a point?

It was a fact, psychologically, that distance made the heart grow fonder.

It wasn’t just a saying.

It was a genuine way for couples to appreciate what they had.

A common practice suggested by therapist.

Had you...had you just forced him to come to terms with his-

He cleared his throat.

“You... you were right... about um... your-your theory.”

He couldn’t look at you.

Yoongi was never one to show his true feelings.

Did he even have any?

...

But damn it they were bursting for his every pore at that moment.

He felt you take a step closer to him.

His heart stopped.

He looked up at you slightly.

You had a pleasant smile on your face.

You tightened your grip on his hand.

Your face was getting closer.

His blood pumped through his veins at inhuman speeds.

He could smell your summery perfume.

Your lips were inches away.

Yoongi has kissed girls before.

But something about the prospect of kissing you had him feeling like it was his first kiss all over again.

His eyes fluttered closed.

He puckered his lips.

But the kiss never came.

He opened his eyes only to see your face, still very close.

A smile on your mouth.

The mouth he thought should have been on his.

You reached up with your free hand and plucked something from his forehead.

You showed it to him.

The sticker.

Hoseok’s smiley face.

“You had this on your forehead,” you clarified.

He was mortified.

He’d forgotten...

“My friend....”

Friend.

:)

“My friend put it on me earlier and I guess I forgot about it....”

You shrugged, placing the sticker on his cheek instead.

“Cute,” you said before you got on your toes and placed a soft peck on the places you’d set the sticker.

How-

Did you just-

Was that-

You kissed-

“Do you maybe wanna get an ice cream? We can talk more if you’d like?”

Yoongi nodded dumbly, letting you lead the way.

You smiled up at him.

He smiled down at you.

He reached up and touched the sticker with tender fingers.

He’d have to thank Hoseok later.

Yoongi fucking loved stickers.

Masterllist

#request #bta request #bts #suga #bts yoongi #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #yoongi crack #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #bts request #Bts namjoon #bts suga #bts jimin #bts jhope #bts jin #bts jungkook #bts v

[jaehyun-eclipsed]

Before I Met You | Eleven

Updates: Sundays

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: I apologize that my updates have not been at the time I had originally designated. I’ll still be posting on Sundays (except this week since it’s after Sunday. I’m sorry!), but there will no longer be a specific time. Thank you! 

Before I Met You Masterlist

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Sunday evening, I open the door to my house and walk in to hear chatter and laughter amongst my housemates. My new home was previously a frat house, but had been renovated to serve as general student housing. There were fifteen separate rooms – one to three people in each room and shared common rooms and a kitchen downstairs. The color schemes of the dining room and living room were atrocious interesting – dark blue walls opposite tan and mustard yellow ones with a series of white trimmed windows. The dining room was paired with dark brown dining room tables, a pool table, and several granite-top bar tables. The living room was no better with oddly color-blocked couches and chairs and an ancient piano that desperately needed to be tuned. The dim yellow lighting throughout the house created a nice atmosphere for relaxing, but was absolutely horrendous for late-night studying. Perhaps the lighting was purposely horrible to make it so dark you couldn’t see how terrible the design choices were. Despite this strange mesh of interior designing, it still managed to create an all-around cozy environment.

The first week of classes had just ended and I was returning from a dinner outing with my former roommate.

As I head towards the spiral staircase, I briefly look to my left to see three boys playing pool and some others doing homework in the main dining room. I recognize one of the boys from our move-in meeting; he was quiet, but had a very soothing voice when he spoke. His name was Ren – Ren-something?

My room has a much simpler design compared to downstairs; grayish walls with the same white trimmed windows as downstairs, a mini-fridge, microwave, and simple wooden furniture staples for two people. Though boring, at least it didn’t give you eye strain.

The light in my room is on when I enter and my new roommate, Jia, is sitting at her desk watching a Chinese reality show and eating dinner.  

“Hey!” she greets. “Where did you go?”

“I went to dinner with my roommate from last year,” I say. “What are you eating?”

“I ordered some Chinese food.”

Jia is an international student from Beijing, double-majoring in statistics and business. She came to the U.S. when she was fourteen to attend high school on the east coast. As a result, she’s been quite sheltered, a lack of life experience and hints of naivety evident when you speak to her. Having been sent here for school, she was expected to work hard to get a good education and hopefully, a well-paying job. That’s what her focus has been all her life: jumping academic hoops.

As I place my purse and jacket on my desk, I grab my water bottle and head back downstairs to the kitchen to refill it.

As I step foot into the dining room to get to the kitchen, the three boys shooting pool immediately stop playing and look up at me. I pause upon making eye contact with the boy who caught my eye at our meeting and hesitate for a moment before offering a half smile. He stares at me, remaining expressionless. I quickly look away, regaining enough composure to continue walking towards the entrance to the kitchen. But as soon as I have my back to the three boys, a wave of discomfort pulses through my body. I can’t explain why, or how I even know considering I don’t have eyes on the back of my head, but I can feel that one of them is still watching me as I’m walking away – and it’s not the one from the meeting.      

When I reach the water dispenser, I shake my head in dismissal, attributing the sudden feeling of discomfort to a figment of my imagination. You couldn’t even see him. They just looked at you because you entered the room. That’s all.

When my water bottle is half full, I hear the three of them walk into the kitchen and begin pulling out several pans and other kitchenware out of the cabinets next to the stove. The water dispenser is on the other side of the kitchen, so I keep my back to the them, but am unable to shake the feeling of the one that was standing next to the shy boy with the nice voice. I quietly huff in frustration. Why do I keep feeling like he was looking at me? Does he… think I’m attractive? Hyojin did say I get looked at a lot when we hang out together. Maybe I’ll talk to him.

The three of them start cooking, walking back and forth between the stove and the sink that’s several feet away from me. While screwing the cap back onto my bottle, I turn around and immediately lock eyes with the boy in question as he walks towards me. He stares at me for several more moments before breaking eye contact and bringing his gaze back towards the ground.

My eyes narrow. Okay, that was kind of weird.

I walk over to the large refrigerator in the middle of the kitchen, reaching into my reusable grocery bag sitting on the second shelf to pull out an apple before heading over to the sink to wash it.

A moment later, the boy with the nice voice walks up next to me to wash a pot. I take a step to my right to give him more space, grabbing a paper towel from the dispenser and wrapping it around my apple. I continue to stand there awkwardly, over-drying the fruit while contemplating on whether or not I should introduce myself.

I decide to bite the bullet.

“What’s your name?” I ask.

“Renjun. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.”

There’s a momentary pause, the sound of running water filling what could have been a very awkward silence. Renjun keeps his focus on the pot.

“What’s your major?” he asks.

“Uh, biology. Yours?”

“CS and math.”

His responses are very quiet. Even in tone. Emotionless. I look at him as he rinses the soap off of the pot and his face remains expressionless. Do you ever smile?  

“Oh, nice,” I remark. God, even I’m boring.

“Where are you from?” he asks.

“Oregon,” I reply.  

“Portland?” asks another voice.

I flip around and see that the boy who had just stared at me is standing in the middle of the kitchen with a polite smile on his face.  

“Medford!” I say.

Huh! You were listening to our conversation…

I’m a bit dumbfounded when he nods and walks back over to the third boy standing at the stove, wondering why he didn’t continue to talk to me considering he was clearly interested enough to listen in on my conversation with Renjun.

My eyes flicker over to the wooden dining table near the window, a collection of bright colors having caught my eye. Coupon books. Maybe Suji will want one of these. She has a whole stash of them in her desk.

I take out my phone and look around briefly to make sure no one is watching particularly the weird staring boy while I snap a photo of the coupon book to text to Suji to see if she’s interested. While waiting for her response, I grab one of the coupon books and flip through it to see if there’s anything in particular she might want.

Pizza, ice cream, sandwiches, dentist…

I place the book back on the table and look up as the boy walks towards me; he’s staring at me again.

Opportunity has arrived.  

I look back at him, briefly narrowing my eyes in curiosity. “What’s your name?” I ask, completely skipping the formalities.

“Jaemin!” he says as his eyes shoot open in surprise. “And you?”

“Y/N.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” he says with a smile.

I smile back at him.

“Um –” he tilts his head and looks at me thoughtfully “– why were you taking pictures of the coupon book?”  

Shit. Someone was watching me. I specifically checked to make sure no one was, especially YOU.

I chuckle nervously. “Oh, uh, I didn’t think anyone was watching,” I murmur to myself. “I was sending a picture to see if my friend wanted one.”

“Oh!” he remarks. “I thought you were taking pictures to try and save paper or something. Like why not just take one?”

“Oh, no.” I bite the inside of my lip before smiling out of embarrassment. “Yeah, I was seeing if there was anything my friend might want.”

I guess I’m not imagining anything. You are, in fact, watching me.

“Ah.” He gives me an understanding nod, quickly choosing to move onto another subject. “So what’s your major?” he asks.

“Biology. How about you?”

“EECS.”

“Oh, nice.”

He looks at me quizzically, apparently surprised by my lack of being impressed. Most people were fascinated when they met an EECS (electrical engineering, computer science) major as that was the hardest major to be accepted into at the university. It was also one of the most rigorous majors, which led to an onslaught of jokes about EECS students only showering once a month and being too nerdy to get into a relationship.  

“Yeah, you always wonder what people’s responses will be, you know?”

“Yeah…” I say slowly, offering a courteous smile that doesn’t fully reach my eyes.  

I’m guessing he wasn’t satisfied that I don’t seem impressed.  

“Are you pre-med?” he asks.

My eyes widen in horror. “Oh dear, no.”

“So what do you plan on doing?”

“Research. I never wanted to go to medical school.”

“Huh, interesting. Why?”

“I don’t like blood.” I crinkle my nose. “I also don’t really feel like being in school forever. Granted, I have to go to grad school and will be in school forever anyway.”

“True.” He chuckles. “So what do you think of this place?” he asks, referring to the house.

“I actually really like it!” I grin at him. “Despite the questionable design choices, I like it. It’s quiet.”

“Yeah, it’s quiet, but I think it’s kinda… antisocial.”

“True.” I shrug. “I don’t know, it kinda works for me. If I want to talk to people, I can. If I don’t, I can do that too. I don’t talk to that many people… not the friendliest person,” I say with a small smile.

He looks at me skeptically. “You seem pretty friendly to me.”

“Depends on who I’m with,” I reply with a shrug.  

“Ah, yeah, oh –” He quickly turns his head towards Renjun, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t been helping out his roommates with their dinner preparations. “Hey, Renjun, do you need help?”

“No, it’s fine,” Renjun curtly responds.  

He nods once and turns back to me. “So what are your plans for the rest of the night?”

“Uh, probably just catch up on some work.”

“You’re so productive.”

“I’m trying to keep up with everything to do better this semester.” I frown. “But the problem is that I’m really bad at physics.”

“Oh, I’m taking physics too!”

“Are you in the one specifically for engineers?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, okay,” I reply. “I’m in the other one. I’m just frustrated because we’re doing kinematics and I used to be really good at it in high school and now it’s like I’ve completely forgotten how to do it.”

“That’s what happened to me with circuits. I did it in high school, but I can’t seem to do it anymore.”

I smile at him, unsure of what to say as he leans in towards me, putting his weight on the back of a kitchen chair.

“I could probably help you with physics sometime,” he offers.

Oh! Well that’s nice of him. I could use the help.

However, there’s an… unsettling feeling in my chest. Suspicion – that’s what it is. Suspicion that this isn’t just a friendly offer for help.

“That would be very helpful! Thank you!” I respond, trying to keep my tone even to avoid giving away my intuition.

“Do you just do work in your room?”

“Uh, sometimes. I hate the chairs we have in the room, so I normally just work on my bed or I go downstairs to the piano room.”

“Ah, yeah. I should probably go downstairs or something because I don’t get anything done in my room.”

I pause for a moment, contemplating on whether or not to say my next immediate thought. My goal for this year was to make new friends and I had begun to develop a habit of offering open invitations for people to spend time with me. In a split second decision, I reasoned that this was no different. It’s not like I was interested in the guy. It’s also somewhat of a personal experiment to see if my intuition is correct: that he actually is interested and would take up my offer.

“Well, if you want company, I’m almost always in the piano room! I usually go down there because if I work in my room, I just watch TV,” I say.

“Oh, what do movies do you watch?”

“I actually watch television shows, but I’ve been watching the Justice League until my shows come back.”

“And what shows are those?”

“Uh, NCIS, Castle, The Blacklist, and The Flash.”

“Oh. So superheroes, some mystery and action.” He nods in approval. “Those are shows I’d be into if I watched them.”  

“Oh nice! Yeah, it’s pretty easy to get distracted and just watch in my room. It’s very relaxing.”

“Well, it’s quiet.” A smirk forms on his face. “So it fits with your personality, right?”

The corner of my mouth raises in amusement. “Right.”  

I take a good look at him. Jaemin is tall, relatively slim, and fairly attractive. Though, it’s interesting. He looks young and innocent, but there’s something about his eyes. They’re playful, but there’s mischief behind that playfulness. He’s quite charming and that look in his eyes is enough to tell you that he knows it too.

“Which room are you in?” he asks.

“202.”

“Oh, I think that’s down the hall from me. I’m in 206. But yeah, whenever you need help, just –” he makes a weird gesture with his hands “– knock on the door.”

I nod, but a thought crosses my mind. “Actually –” I pull out my phone from my back pocket and hand it to him “– why don’t I just get your number? Then I can just text you and won’t have to worry about bothering your roommates.”

“Hey, Jaemin.” Renjun places a plate of food on the table. “This is yours.”

Jaemin gives me back my phone and smiles at me. “All right, well, I’m gonna go eat dinner. It was nice meeting you!”

“Yeah, you too!”

I take a bite into my apple and walk outside to sit on the porch, dialing my dad’s number for our nightly call.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” I sing. “So I met this guy. His name is Jaemin and he seems pretty friendly.” I click my tongue. “Though, I got this weird feeling that he thinks I’m cute or something because… he kept staring at me and then later he offered to help me with physics.”

“What’s his major?”

“EECS.”

“Are you interested in him?”

“No,” I say. “He’s cute, but he’s not really my type. It was really weird though because I walked into the dining room when he and his roommates were playing pool and they all stopped playing as soon as I walked in and watched me until I left.”

“Are you going to take him up on his offer to help you with physics?”

“Yeah, probably. I actually do need help.”

“It’s nice of him to offer, but he probably does have something for you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Guys don’t just offer to help you in physics if they’re not interested.”

I chortle at my dad’s response and with a slight hint of sarcasm, respond with, “Are you sure? You don’t think he’s just being nice?”

He scoffs. “Nice? Uh-uh, sorry, I don’t think so.”

I continue giggling when he asks if I’m going to work downstairs tonight.

“Yeah, later after I clean up a bit. I told him I’m usually downstairs so I guess we’ll see if he shows up.”

When I arrive downstairs, laptop and books in hand, both of the work tables have been claimed by other residents. I turn to my right, figuring I’ll work at the coffee table instead. To my surprise, Jaemin is sitting on the couch, hunching over his laptop and a notebook he placed on the coffee table. There’s a flash of amusement in my eyes, but I bite back a smirk when Jaemin looks up and waves.

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Looks like the personal experiment has given us some confirmation…

To say I didn’t feel a sense of satisfaction from Jaemin actually taking up my offer within a matter of a few hours would have been a lie. It’s flattering.

I walk over to where he is and set my things down before sitting on the floor across from him. “Hey.”

“Hi,” he greets. “Doing work?”

“Yeah, I’m going to the marina with my roommate tomorrow so I need to finish up some things before Tuesday.”

While waiting for my laptop to boot, I grab my phone to send a text.

Me to Dad [8:56 PM] Guess who came downstairs?

Dad [9:00 PM] Does that mean he’s interested? 😉

Me [9:01 PM] I guess so?

“I think you have the right idea,” a voice says.

“What?” I ask, looking up at Jaemin in curiosity.

“Sitting on the floor,” he replies as he starts moving from the couch to the floor.

I open an internet browser and habitually log into Facebook instead of my physics homework assignment. There’s a message notification from Hyojin regarding some video she saw.

“Hey, Jaemin!” Renjun’s voice calls from the doorway. “Want one?”

“Oh sure!” Jaemin stands up and begins walking over to Renjun. I hear a loud smack when Jaemin catches something with a plastic wrapper. “Thanks!”

As I type a response back to Hyojin, a teasing voice elicits an embarrassed smile from me for the second time that night.  

“That’s not studying.”

I look up at Jaemin as he glances down at me. A playful smirk has formed on his face, bringing back that mischief in his eyes.  

“Want some?” he asks, holding up a small bag of chips.

“No, thanks.”

There’s a comfortable silence between us as we complete our individual assignments. I seemed to be having an easier time making acquaintances this year. The first week of school, I had made a personal goal to talk to five new people every day and I am happy to say I achieved it. I was learning to take the initiative with introductions and with the couple people who introduced themselves to me first, I realized that everyone is just as afraid as I am to talk to someone. But really, it’s not a big deal. No one thinks you’re weird. Unless you start your interactions by shamelessly staring at them like Jaemin. Mark will definitely be interested in hearing about this.  

I huff in frustration as I fail to obtain the correct answer to my physics problem for the second time. I had three chances; so I needed to get it right this time.

“Hey, Jaemin?” I call.

When I look up, I meet Jaemin’s gaze. He’s staring at me with a blank expression, as if he’s in some kind of trance. It’s unsettling to a degree – the way he’s looking into my eyes, like he’s trying to read me with a precision equivalent to breaking down the walls of my mind and learning every secret that’s behind them without any difficulty.

Um… I tilt my head and narrow my eyes at him. “Jaemin?”

“Hmm?” His eyes widen and he shakes his head as if I’ve pulled him from some reverie. “Sorry, what’s up?”

“Is there –” I press my fingertips against my cheek “– is there something on my face?

“What?” His voice is a tad loud. “No, no! I – I just zoned out for a second.”

Right…

“Uh huh…” I remark skeptically. “Um, can you help me with this physics problem?”

“Yeah, of course!”

I flip my laptop around for him to read the question. A small smirk creeps up on my lips as I watch him scribble equations into his notebook. I feel so smug.

Oh, you definitely think I’m cute and you’re not even trying to hide it. Mark is definitely gonna want to hear all about this.    

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Before I Met You Masterlist Masterlist

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #wayv #nct dream #superm #jung jaehyun #nct jaehyun #jaehyun #lucas wong #wong yukhei #nct lucas #nct mark #mark lee #nct jaemin #na jaemin #nct angst #nct fluff #before i met you

[evalinkatrineberg]

Breaking Down

A/N: 18.8k word C6 side rp with @arin-schreave . Contains the usual - phone calls, tea, and a breakdown. You know how it goes. ;)

The fact that I wasn’t even surprised to find myself in the kitchen, beginning to make coffee around two in the morning should have been my first sign that something was seriously wrong. It wasn’t that I was completely oblivious to the fact that I wasn’t exactly thriving at the moment - I knew I needed more sleep, I knew I needed to stop skipping events I deemed non-essential for school work, and I knew I needed to stop avoiding the people I had begun to think of as friends - and yet, no matter how tired I was, I was in no way making an effort to change anything.

After eight days in a row of having the same dream, I had bitten the bullet, and actually began to research the psychology surrounding recurring dreams. The answers I had found were not reassuring to me in the slightest. Despite that, I had kept the dream to myself, knowing that whenever my brain did finally shut off, and let me rest, it wouldn’t be long before I was awake again, my heart racing like I had just run a marathon.

That’s exactly what had happened tonight. I had attempted to go to sleep at a reasonable hour, I really had, but within forty-five minutes of falling asleep, I had jolted awake once more. At that point, I had traded my pajamas for a pair of loose jeans and an oversized university sweatshirt that I had stolen from my father when I had done the laundry months ago, and had then smuggled here with me. I was glad I had thought to do that. The concept of having to put on a dress at two in the morning wasn’t exactly appealing. I was at the point where I hadn’t even bothered putting in my contact lenses, opting to stick with my glasses instead.

My only coherent thought had been that if I was going to be awake, I might as well do something productive with the extra hours. So, I had wandered down the halls in a daze, stopping when I finally reached the kitchen, where I now stood, staring at my coffee as it slowly dripped through the filter and into the pot, as if each droplet was a memory I could shove back out of my head. Plink. Lukas’s lips on mine. Plink. His fingers trailing across my chest as he buckled my seatbelt for me. I shuddered, wishing my mind would throw the memory - if that was what it was, as I was beginning to suspect - of that night back wherever it had been buried before.

“Oh, hey, Evalin.”

The sound of another voice made me jump. Who else was awake right now? Why was anybody else awake right now? My shoulders still tensed, I looked over my shoulder, only to see Arin looking back at me.

Of course this would be how he’d see me for the first time since the ball. He just couldn’t have stumbled into me when I actually looked presentable.

The letter I had written to him that night currently sat folded in my sweatshirt pocket, where I had placed it after re-reading it once I had woken up the morning after the ball, and immediately deemed it completely incomprehensible. I couldn’t send something like that to him. I had already made myself look like enough of a fool at that point, with the amount of champagne I had drunk. I probably owed at least half a dozen people a sincere apology, Arin potentially being one of them.

I rolled my shoulders back and down, exhaling as I did. “Oh, hello!” I replied, with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. I was sure he could see that I looked worse for the wear - though whether or not he even noticed was another issue entirely - but maybe I could cover that up with a facade of energy and happiness. It was Arin, after all. He probably had forgotten about the ball by this point.

He raised his eyebrows at me as he walked closer, passing me on his way to the fridge. “What are you doing here?”

My gaze immediately drifted to the pot of coffee slowly filling up besides me. I could try to lie, to deny that it was mine, but who would believe that? Covering that up wasn’t as easy as covering up exhaustion. Each drip of coffee was now a reminder that this was my life, this was what it had come to - standing in the kitchen of a palace with a prince who was grabbing a late night snack, while I looked like a stressed college freshman during their first midterm week, after pulling eight all nighters in a row.

Yeah, things were not going great, to say the least.

“Making coffee,” I admitted, turning to face him. At two in the morning, you know, like normal people do. “I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I might as well be productive.”

His eyes drifted towards the coffee pot, and then back to me. “Is something going on?”

I refused to believe that he didn’t know the answer to that question. Yes, he often stayed up late working, based on my own observations, and whispers I had heard from other people, but surely he must have known that the majority of people did not make coffee in the middle of the night when things were going well, or even just when things were normal. There really was no way in which I could spin this to make it look good.

“Just,” I began, closing my eyes for a moment. Just what? Just tired? Just confused? Just leave me alone, please? My thoughts were only becoming more jumbled the less sleep I got. The clearest thoughts, the easiest ones to process, were those that were true. Short, simple sentences, that contained only facts, and little emotion. Hadn’t I said multiple times that I needed to be more honest with him?

I reopened my eyes, exhaling before trying to speak again. “I really haven’t been sleeping much at all.” My voice was quiet, my words a lot sharper and faster than I would have liked, but it was a start. A stepping stone. A building block.

“For some reason, that seems to be going around at the moment,” he sighed.

Some part of me wanted to be angry, interpreting his words as a dismissal of my own problems. That part of me was exhausted, and clearly not thinking straight. He was right. How many nights had I seen Reggie in the library these past few weeks, working just as late - if not later - than me? Even Idalia seemed exhausted whenever I saw her in lessons, and Arin himself was also awake right now, after all.

I gave him a soft smile, quelling the rising tide of anger I had felt. “I’ve noticed. I just…” I trailed off, distracted once again by the droplets of coffee making their way into the pot. Plink. Something was going on back home with my family. Plink. Arin didn’t even know if he felt anything more than friendship for me. Plink. Lukas’s hand on my chest.

This had to stop. I tore my gaze away from the coffee, watching him as he continued to make his way towards the fridge. “Can I be honest?”

“Go for it,” he said with a nod.

I felt my throat close up before I could even open my mouth. Opening up to others had never been a strong suit of mine. Not because I didn’t trust the people I was close to with my secrets, but rather because I cared about them, and knew their worries, and didn’t want to add to their own problems. Half the time when I tried to confide in someone else, I’d end up choking up before I could finish talking, which only made whoever I was talking to more concerned. So, at some point, I had just slowly stopped being fully open with others, content to handle my problems on my own.

I felt like if I didn’t say something about what was on my mind soon, though, I was going to burst. I’d just have to keep my emotions in check, was all.

With a sigh, I pulled myself together. “I’ve just been super worried about my father. He called me from his work phone when it was two in the morning in Carolina, asking if I was okay, and then he called me by a childhood nickname that he hasn’t used in years, and really only ever used when something was wrong -” I shook my head, unsure of where I was going with this, and sure that it sounded a lot less serious than it felt to me “- and I know it sounds stupid, but trust me, it’s not a good sign.”

My throat was tightening up again, but I was nowhere near done explaining all my current thoughts and fears. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, my chest and shoulders shaking with the effort. “And when I finally stop worrying long enough to fall asleep, I keep having this dream -” I cut myself off with another shaky breath, cursing how weak I must have looked. I was better than this. So much better than this.

What was going on with me?

Arin turned away from the fridge to face me, his hands empty. “Have you talked to him again?”

“I haven’t had the time,” I answered, looking down at my feet as I shook my head, “which sounds horrible, I know.”

“Well, it’s about six right now in Carolina, right?” He asked, glancing at his watch.

I took a look at my own watch before I replied, shaking my head as I read the time. “Five-thirty.”

“What time is he usually up?”

I knew the answer without even thinking about it. Early. He was just as bad as me when it came to sleeping in, which was another reason his late-night phone call had been so strange to me. Had he just not slept that night? It seemed impossible - my mother would have had a fit if he had stayed overnight at the lab, and yet, there really wasn’t any other plausible explanation.

“School’s in session, which means he’s probably already driving to work,” I explained, my voice still shaky as I looked back down at the ground, “so I’d have to call the work phone, which I am not going to do.”

“Evalin.” He sounded so far away, even though he was right in front of me. “If it’s bothering you that much you should reach out. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

I grabbed the edge of the counter with one hand, my watch clattering against the surface as I did. Taking another breath in an attempt to steady myself, I replied, “No, it’s not calling him that I’m worried about, it’s just who else could answer that phone. It’s -” I shook my head, feeling my throat close up again as I lifted my head upwards to meet Arin’s gaze. It’s someone who I can’t believe I ever called a friend. It’s Lukas, his lips on mine, his hand on my chest.

“There’s certain people I just couldn’t handle talking to right now,” I finished, swallowing as I looked down again, the sensation of fingers trailing across my skin vivid enough that if I closed my eyes and reopened them, only to find that I was in the backseat of June’s car, I wouldn’t have been surprised.

I needed help. I needed to talk about it. I needed to stop thinking about it.

When I looked up again, Arin was frowning and nodding. “Do you want me to call?”

“You’d do that?” I furrowed my brows, shaking my hair out with my fingers. Even if he was serious, was it worth it? What would I even say to my father, and how would he react if he picked up the phone and Arin was on the other end of the line? There were other possibilities too - Proctor could pick up, or even Lukas himself. It was also possible that another intern or professor could pick up the phone, only to hear the prince on the other end of the line. I could already hear the gossip the lab rumor mill would be churning out if that happened. The prince called Dr. Berg because he’s going to pick Evalin. No, the prince called Dr. Berg to let him know that Evalin will be sent home soon. No, the prince called Dr. Berg as a background check on Evalin.

“Of course I would,” Arin answered with a nod, as if I was foolish for thinking otherwise. “Only if you want me to, though.”

I offered him a small smile, drumming my fingers along the countertop as I looked down at my phone. It probably couldn’t hurt to at least try, and see what would happen. “Yeah,” I finally decided, my voice quiet as I unlocked my phone, looking back up at him. “Okay. Thank you. I should have the number saved.”

“Dad, I assume?” He asked as he took the phone, looking at me expectantly.

“Father,” I corrected. “I pulled it up. Thank you, again.”

After blinking once, he nodded, taking my phone and pressing the call button. “Of course.”

He was silent for a while, listening to what I assumed was the phone ringing, and then, with any luck, somebody picking up. After what felt like an eternity, he cleared his throat. “I’d like to speak with Mr. Berg.”

I was about to correct him, and say, “Dr. Berg,” when he shot me a look of confusion. I narrowed my eyes at him in response. What does that mean? Who picked up the phone? What had they said? I hadn’t anticipated just how frustrating it would be to hear only half of the conversation.

Whoever was on the other end of the line replied, the response prompting Arin to raise his eyebrows. “Actually, I asked Evalin to let me borrow her phone so I could speak with her father. I wanted to touch base with him about his upcoming visit to the palace since I’m really looking forward to meeting him.”

I had to give him credit where credit was due - it was a pretty convincing lie. He almost had me fooled.

Looking over at me, he mouthed, “Who is this?”

I furrowed my brows, running over my options in my mind. Clearly, it wasn’t my father. It likely wasn’t Proctor either, since she wouldn’t have cared why he was using my phone. She likely wouldn’t have even picked up if she saw my number pop up on the caller ID. The majority of the interns in the lab wouldn’t know my number on sight - I was sure of that much - so that left one person. My eyes went wide, and I felt the color drain from my face as I came to the realization. Thank God I hadn’t been the one to make the call.

“Lukas,” I mouthed back before looking down at my feet once more. He must have had the morning shift today. I wondered what kind of project Proctor had him working on. Was it further research on our cancer experiment? Would he now get credit for my idea? It was all I could do to keep myself from being sick right then and there as the thought ran through my mind. I leaned against the counter, fully relying on it to keep me upright as my mind spiraled down the newly opened rabbit hole, the scenario growing worse and worse by the second.

Lukas would get credit for my idea. Arin wouldn’t like me after I told him about how stupid I had been that night in the car. He’d send me packing. I wouldn’t be able to find work because of Proctor. I’d be stuck on the streets, living out the rest of my loveless days as an Eight, a cautionary tail of what not to do when you were a Selected.

Arin’s eyes narrowed at whatever Lukas had come back at him with. “Actually, it’s all been arranged with the Dean. It’s a surprise for Ev and her family, so this would be the first time he’s hearing of it, but no message is needed. I’ll get his direct number from her.”

There was another pause as Lukas responded again. Then, “I didn’t start with that because I don’t believe it pertains to you. This is between me, Ev, and her family, so nothing else is needed from you.”

Just like that, it was over. Arin blinked once, holding my phone out to me. “Can I say something?”

The world slowly stopped spinning as I reached out for my phone, placing it on the countertop behind me. I nodded as I looked up at him, searching his face for any clue as to what might have been said in that conversation. What had Lukas told him? Arin didn’t seem upset, or angry, so it couldn’t have been that bad. I felt my heartbeat slow back to something closer to normal, my breathing easier than before.

Arin paused, and then nodded. “He seems like a twat.”

I let out a laugh, the sound shaky and airy, lacking substance, as I shook my head. “You have no idea.” A few weeks ago, I would have said that he was right on the money. Lukas had been a twat for consistently calling me, trying to make me worry, attempting to persuade me to return home, and making me question why I was even here in the first place. Friends were supposed to be supportive, and he had been anything but. It had taken me a painfully long time to realize that, though, and now, it just felt too little, too late.

“How well do you know him?” Arin asked with a grimace.

“We -” I cut myself off, swallowing my original answer. We’ve been friends since we were lab partners freshman year. Had we ever been friends, really? I had offered him my time, my stories, my advice, my support, all while he had apparently been lusting after me. I wasn’t an expert at friendship - I had never claimed to be - but I had a sinking feeling that true friendship felt nothing like what we had had.

The worst part was, I had cared about him, as a friend. I worried when he looked distressed after talking to his family, I felt sympathy for him when he opened up about his life story, I had been willing to give him an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on if he decided that he needed it, and what did I get in return? He had pressed me for details about my life that I hadn’t been ready to share, and had always insisted that he knew the proper solutions to my problems. Even looking back on his reaction when he discovered that I had signed up for the Selection, it seemed like he had had my life planned out for me, before I ever did, and that it was apparently bold of me to have had the audacity to throw a wrench in his version of my ideal life. He had my future mapped out, without my input, without my say. What kind of friend did that?

I cleared my throat, shaking my head as I looked down at the floor once more. “I thought we were friends, but I don’t think he thought the line was drawn at friends.” My voice was little more than a whisper. His lips on mine. His fingers on my chest. Had I elected to block that memory out, not wanting it to have been real? That seemed like a plausible explanation. What other memories had I blocked out, forcing myself to forget in order to keep my illusionary delusion of a happy life together? How long had this been going on? My mind had always been the one thing I could trust, that I could rely on, but now, I wasn’t even sure of that.

My world was ripping apart at the seams, and I couldn’t sew it back together fast enough. I let go of the counter, intent on tucking some of my hair behind my ear, but was unable to keep my hand from shaking as I did.

“Evalin?”

I looked back up at the sound of his voice, softer now than it had been before. He hadn’t moved from where he stood, but even from here, as I felt tears begin to form and blur my vision, I could see the concern in his eyes.

“I…” I trailed off, knowing I should open up, but unsure of where to even begin, or how he’d react when I did. I had to stay calm, and keep my wits about me. “I started having this dream recently - often - and sometimes I swear I remember it, but it’s like I’m watching it unfold.” I opened my mouth to continue, but no words came out. Instead, the only sound was a raspy breath, the air barely passing into my lungs as I choked up again.

I turned my head towards the ceiling, willing my eyes to stop tearing up. I would not cry. I could not cry.

I sensed him stepping around the island, moving closer to me, but making no move to touch me. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

It’s okay.

It was so far from okay.

“I -” My voice cracked as I lowered my head to look at him, gravity pulling the first tear out of my eye for me, so I didn’t have to let it go myself. “I don’t know why I didn’t remember.”

I was crying. I knew I was crying. I hated it. I needed to stop. Shaking my head, I removed my glasses, using the sleeve of my sweatshirt to wipe my eyes. I didn’t do this. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.

“I mean, I was seriously fucked up that night -” I attempted to explain, “- like capital “B” bad, and we were driving home and had to stop for gas, which was weird, but I didn’t question it, and my other friend had to go inside to pay.”

I shook my head again, taking another deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. Why hadn’t I questioned it? I should have questioned it.

“And he just started kissing me,” I continued, the words pouring out of my mouth before I could even think about them. “And I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything.”

There was no stopping the tears from coming anymore. I locked eyes with Arin, rooted in my spot. “I’m sorry, I know this is a lot, I just - I don’t know why I didn’t remember, or why it’s only coming back now.”

He swallowed, but made no move to come closer. “Can I hug you? Are you okay with that?”

His response caught me off guard, but I nodded, looking down. “Yes.” At least my voice hadn’t cracked this time. I’d leave here with a shred of my dignity in tact.

Before I could look up again, he had stepped closer, wrapping his arms around me. I couldn’t speak, the only thoughts going through my mind pertaining to the memory being in that backseat, the feeling of the cold window against my forehead when it was over, and of somebody else’s arm wrapped around me as I was led up a flight of stairs.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.”

I allowed myself to sink into his embrace, his touch firm, assuring me he wasn’t going anywhere, and yet still gentle, as if he was afraid I might shatter if he held on too tightly. I couldn’t remember when I had last cried in front of someone like this, or had been held in this kind of way. Time slipped away as we stood there, him rocking back and forth, and me just crying into his shoulder, completely incapable of any other action, with the exception of one mumbled, “Thank you.”

It could have been minutes or hours before my tears finally started to slow, and I picked my head up, wiping away some of the last few. “Thank you. I -” I cut myself off with a shake of my head, already knowing he would tell me not to apologize. “Thank you.”

“No thanks are needed. I’m here for you, I hope you know that,” he insisted, slowly reaching up towards my face with one hand, wiping away some stray tears from my eye with his thumb. The gesture was so simple, and yet he was so careful about it, his eyes never leaving mine. Something inside my chest broke, and then started putting itself back together again.

I could only nod, taking another deep breath, my chest and shoulders still shaking with the effort. “I really appreciate that.”

He nodded back, and then frowned. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I’m really not sure,” I admitted, biting my lip as I shook my head, my voice still quiet, as if I lacked the strength it would take to speak at a normal volume. “Just you being here - having someone to talk to - was good, though.”

“Okay.” He nodded again before letting go, taking a step back away from me, his face becoming blurry in my vision.

My glasses. I took a step backwards as well, feeling the counter against my back as I reached my hand behind me, feeling around for the frames. After a few blind pats, I felt them. Picking them up, I slowly slid them back on to my face, blinking as the world came back into focus. There was Arin, a stain from my tears on his shoulder, his face filled with a blend of caution and concern. He deserved better from me than this. I was stronger than this. I handled my problems on my own. I didn’t fall apart in kitchens, or cry in front of other people.

Except I just had, and I felt much less burdened than I had when I had first walked in here, in the pursuit of coffee.

“I wish I could give you more of an answer, but…” I trailed off, shaking my head. “I really just don’t have one, right now. At this point, I think the best thing I could do would just be to figure out some way I can sleep, so I can think straight, and then go from there.”

“Of course.” He swallowed, nodding again as he stepped away towards the pantry, coming back with a box of tea. “Have you tried this?”

One look at the box told me that I never had. “No,” I answered, shaking my head. “I haven’t. What is it?”

“It’s tea that’s supposed to help you sleep,” he answered, putting the box down on the other end of the counter, and then sliding it towards me.

I grabbed the box, taking a close look at what it was. SleepyTime Extra. A fitting name, I hoped. A quick glance at the label and some writing on the box revealed that the active ingredients were chamomile, tilia flowers, and valerian root, which would make sense. There were numerous studies that showed that valerian root helped with falling asleep, and even improved the quality of sleep. Some studies even suggested that it helped alleviate anxiety, though there was less evidence for that than there was for its use as a sleep aid. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. “Thank you,” I replied, still reading over the labels for more information.

I looked at my watch, wincing as I saw how late it was, and set the box back on the counter, keeping one hand on it as I looked up at Arin. “I think I’ll have to give it a try tomorrow night. I normally wake up soon, anyway, and I don’t want to throw off my schedule, or miss anything.” I bit my lip, knowing full well I needed sleep, but also that I shouldn’t skirk any of my responsibilities. I also didn’t want to skip my morning run. Running was the one time I didn’t have to think, my body going on autopilot as I put one foot in front of the other. I was pretty sure it was the only thing that had helped me keep it together for the past few weeks.

I wished I had misread my watch. How had it gotten so late?

He swallowed once, nodding. “Okay.” His every motion and word seemed calculated - cautious even, as if he were afraid one wrong move could set off a bomb. It was a full role reversal. That was normally how I felt talking to him.

I was too tired play a guessing game with his thoughts tonight. “What is it?”

He just shook his head. “It’s nothing”

No, we were not going to do this again tonight. Not when I had opened up to him. “It really doesn’t look like it’s nothing,” I argued with a small sigh. “Please tell me?” My request came out sounding more like a question as I second guessed myself once again. Was this pushing too far, prying for information he’d rather keep private?

There was a glimmer of hesitation in his eyes as he took a deep breath. “I just want to make sure you’re comfortable, and that I don’t cross any boundaries.”

Oh. I couldn’t do anything other than look at him as I thought back to our previous interactions, trying to figure out what he had even done that might make him think he had crossed any lines. Our kiss, maybe? He hadn’t asked me, but I had also practically asked him to kiss me. I was pretty sure that there hadn’t been any issue with the way we had sat together on the floor of the theater, either.

I took a deep breath, shaking my head before looking at him once again. “You haven’t - at all. You always ask if things are okay, and never push for more than I’m willing to give. You’ve done nothing to make me uncomfortable.” I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but fatigue got the better of me, and I was sure it didn’t come across with as much certainty as I had intended it to.

“I hope I haven’t done anything to make you feel that way, either,” I added after a moment's thought, looking down for a moment as I cleared my throat.

He didn’t meet my eye, instead looking down at the box of tea. “I just don’t want to do anything wrong.”

For the second time that night, I felt my heart break in two. I took a few steps towards his, reaching for his hand, to give it a squeeze. “You haven’t.” At all. Please, don’t think you have.

His gaze shifted to our hands then, his caution, his reservation, evident in his face. “Will you make sure to tell me if I do?”

“Yes,” I answered immediately, squeezing his hand another time as I flashed him a soft smile.

He nodded, looking up at me, a soft smile flashing across his face for a sliver of a second.  “Thank you, Evalin.”

Thank me? No. That was wrong. I should be thanking him - for being here, for caring, for offering to do better - for everything.

With that, he glanced around, taking a deep breath. Our hands. Was the contact making him uncomfortable, after everything I had said? I let go, tucking some hair behind my ear instead. With a week smile, I grabbed the box of tea in my other hand, unsure of what to say to make him more comfortable. Maybe he just needed time to himself, to think, to process. I could understand that.

I didn’t want to be alone, and yet, he might need to be. “I don’t want to keep you up longer than you have to be.” He was a human, who needed sleep as well, and if he was lucky, he might be able to get some tonight. I sure wasn’t going to.

“Oh.” He blinked once, appearing to be taken aback, his eyes drifting to the box of tea. With a nod, he offered, “I can go if you want.”

I furrowed my brows. I had been offering to leave, not asking him to leave. He hadn’t even gotten whatever he had come here for out of the fridge. “No, that’s fine, I can go.” Or, maybe he wanted to leave. “I mean, whatever you want to do!”

“I don’t need anything, and you were here first,” he insisted, shaking his head. “I can leave you in peace.”

“I-“ I bit my lip, trying to organize my thoughts into a coherent sentence. I wouldn’t be at peace if he left. If anything, I wanted someone here, with me,  more than I wanted anything else, right now. It was nice, not being alone. “Why do all of our conversations seem to end like this?” With me, unable to voice my true thoughts, and you, misunderstanding? Or, maybe I was the one doing the misunderstanding. I shook my head before looking up towards the ceiling.

He hesitated for a moment. Then, “Do they?”

Had he seriously never noticed? I looked back at him, nodding, not shocked to see the surprised expression on his face. “It’s like, towards the end of every conversation, we just both get so awkward. Is it something I’m saying or doing? What’s causing it?”

He grimaced. “I don’t know what it is. Is it something I’m doing- in your opinion, I mean?”

“No, not that I can see. It just feels like there’s always some - I don’t know, miscommunication? I don’t know.” I shook my head. “Maybe I’m imagining it.”

He swallowed and the shrugged again, the gesture smaller this time. “Maybe there is, but I’m not sure I’d be able to pinpoint the cause for you.”

“Right, sorry, I -“ I shot him an apologetic smile, and then shook my head, swallowing once. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

I held his gaze, though my voice was quieter when I spoke. “I didn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position, is all.” I just wanted company. I just wanted to talk to you.

“Well, calling things awkward doesn’t exactly help.”

“God, you’re right.” I couldn’t help but wince. “I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, shaking my head as I tried to locate my train of thought. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Evalin, really -“ he grimaced again “- there’s no need to apologize. It’s fine.”

How could he even say that, after admitting that I had made him uncomfortable? After I had called him awkward? Maybe I should have just let him leave.

“Is it? Really?”

“You don’t think it is?” he asked, gripping the counter in his hands.

I sighed, flashing him a small smile. “Here we go again.” It was like the ball all over again. My note to him weighed heavy in my sweatshirt pocket, my illegible writing likely more understandable than anything we were saying now. I reached my fingers under my glasses to rub one of my eyes, wondering if I should just bite the bullet and show the letter to him.

He simply raised his eyebrows. “Well, then tell me what you want?”

“I never know how to answer that,” I admitted, still smiling as I shook my head at myself. The question itself was kind of vague - I could never tell if he meant right now, in the moment, or if he meant long term. I had guessed long term twice now, in the past, and neither had gone particularly well, so maybe he did mean currently. It was worth a shot. It wasn’t like the situation could get much more uncomfortable than it already was. “Right now? Honestly? Not being alone is nice. Still, though, I don’t want to keep you awake.”

“I’m not going to sleep any time soon,” he stated. “So if you want me to stay, then I can.”

“Stay, then, please.” My voice was painfully quiet to my ears. I thought back to our time at the ballet, and how it had felt to lean my head on his shoulder, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as we sat nestled side by side, our hands clasped together. That. I wanted that. It seemed like too much to ask him for, though, judging by the way he had reacted to just our hands touching.

He nodded, leaning back against the counter. “Okay then, I’ll stay.” A moment passed, and then he hoisted himself up over the edge, so that he was seated on the countertop, his feet dangling over the edge.

I watched him for a moment, unsure of what to do next. It was too much to ask, to lean my head on his shoulder, but we could still sit side-by-side without touching. So I followed his example, looking down at my feet once I was seated. The last time I had sat on a counter, I had been a toddler. I had stepped on a bee in our front yard, and my father had to pull out the stinger with a pair of tweezers. He had set me down on the counter while he ran to the bathroom to get the first aid kit, and I had simply watched him, not even crying as I wriggled my legs back and forth, banging them against the cabinets. What would he say, if he could see me now, now that I knew all that I had done wrong? Would he be upset? Sad? Angry? Still proud, somehow?

I looked over at Arin. “Were you serious when you mentioned family coming to visit next week?”

“I was,” he answered with a nod. “You were going to find out in the next few days anyway.”

My family was coming here, to the palace. I was going to see them, for the first time in months. I would have been beaming, if I had had the energy. “That might just be the happiest news I’ve gotten, recently.”

He smiled, his eyes a bit distant as he nodded. “I’m glad you’re excited.”

I nodded along, my smile falling a bit as I took in his expression. “It’ll be nice to see them - for me, at least.” A flicker of a smirk crossed my face as I imagine how him meeting them might go. If my whole family was coming, I knew Lydia and Gabriel especially would show him no mercy. Even my father would likely be hard on him, though not intentionally. My mother would likely be the one to keep the peace, as she often did, her upbringing too rooted in politeness and manners for her to do anything but, most of the time.

He smiled back, the expression soft. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, looking down at my feet again as I continued to imagine the chaos my siblings would no doubt unleash if they were invited. “It’s going to be good to catch up with them. Is it just parents, or siblings too?”

“Everyone who can make it,” he answered, his own smile growing now.

He looked so thrilled about the idea, that I almost laughed at him. “You really have no clue what you’re in for, then.”

“Believe it or not I’m actually fairly decent in social situations,” he replied, shrugging.

“Oh, it’s not you I’m worried about. My family…” I trailed off, shaking my head as memories of my siblings’ antics flashed through my mind, absentmindedly swinging my right leg back and forth a bit, taking care not to hit the cabinets with my heel. “We’re all just very close, and a tad protective of each other, even if we will tease each other into oblivion.”

“That's fine,” he insisted. ��I’m sure I can handle anything thrown at me.”

He had another storm coming if he truly believed that. Maybe he was right, though. There was always a chance that my siblings would listen to our mother, and behave themselves. Alternatively, they could come at him full force, and he could just take it, and be okay. Or, would he fight back? That could get ugly.

I let out a single laugh, covering my mouth with my hand as it turned into a yawn. “Imagine four Ayeshas. That’s your most likely scenario.”

“And I’ll manage it,” he repeated, shrugging again. “Trust me. I know my limits.”

I had no doubt that he did, but would my my siblings - again, Lydia and Gabriel in particular - have any regard for them? I wasn’t sure. What did that mean for them, then, if things went south? Would they simply be asked to leave, or were there other consequences? Would Arin stoop so low as to take out any frustration he had with them on me? I didn’t think so, but I wasn’t about to put anything past him.

I nodded, still a bit lost in thought. “They’re good people, honestly, we just place a lot of value in family, and putting them first.” My voice was quieter now, my tone entirely serious. At least he couldn’t say I didn’t warn him. I looked down, wondering what it would take to get my point through his thick skull. Clearly, arguing with him wasn’t the answer. So, I looked back up at him, forcing myself to offer him a small smile.

He won’t punish them for caring about you. He has to understand the kind of bond siblings have. He was an oldest brother himself, after all.

“Well, that’s good to know, but really -” he looked over at me again “- I’ve had years of practice, and believe it or not I’ve met families before.”

“Right, of course.” He’d been engaged before, for crying out loud, and interacted with powerful officials from Illéa and abroad almost every day. There shouldn’t be anything my siblings could say that would get to him, and yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the calm before the storm. I shook my head. “I don’t know why I’m so worried.”

“It’s natural,” he assured me, chuckling as he looked away again.

“I think you would’ve been entertained by how nervous I was the first time I met your mother. Though, she did catch Jen and I off guard.” I smiled at the memory, both at myself for being terrified for no reason, and at the kindness Mélanie had shown Jen and I. To think, it had been completely by chance that I had ended up in the kitchens that evening. If Lukas hadn’t called me…

Lukas. My smile faltered.

Arin raised his eyebrows. “What happened?”

“I had wandered in on Jen making cookies while I had been on the phone with Lukas -” my voice was quiet, my smile completely gone as I thought of his name, his face, his words “ - before I really realized -” his lips on my lips, his fingers on my chest “ - back when he was just a twat.”

I had to stop making this about him. This story wasn’t about him. I shook my head, as if the very motion itself would shake him right out of my brain. Goodbye, Lukas.

“Then your mother walked in for wine, and ended up pouring us glasses, which I think caught both Jen and I by surprise. It -” I paused, trying to figure out how to best describe the experience of drinking wine and talking with Mélanie “- was nice, though. She’s nice. Though, I think she might have been annoyed by how skittish Jen and I were.” I flashed him a small smile, hoping the gesture would serve as proof that I didn’t dislike his mother in the slightest.

“Then my father called, and I left,” I concluded. “It was an eventful evening.”

“Oh,” was all he said at first, a look of embarrassment making its home on his face. “I hope she didn’t scare you too much. She can be a lot.”

“No!” I shook my head, giving him a smile that was as reassuring as I could manage. His mother had been lovely. If only I had relaxed sooner when speaking to her, then maybe the evening would have gone more smoothly for all parties involved. “No, I think I was definitely more nervous than was warranted. She was really nice.”

“She has her moments,” he offered, going silent for a moment before adding, “and I’m sure you’ll get to meet Amma in a few weeks when she’s home.”

“Amma?” I tilted my head to the side a bit, smiling as I asked the question.

He nodded. “The Queen. She’ll be home in a couple weeks.”

Queen Anjali would be back in the palace, and soon - potentially even around my upcoming birthday, not that that mattered. I hadn’t heard of anyone meeting her before she had left for her world tour. I supposed we’d be the lucky few, to get to meet her now.

“Oh,” I responded, straightening my back a bit. “What’s she like?”

“She’s busy,” he answered, raising his eyebrows, “and you might actually want to hold off on meeting her if my mom scared you.”

“She didn’t scare me,” I argued, thinking back to how I had even told his mother as much. She wasn’t scary. That wasn’t the right word for it. She had been an unknown, and a parent, that deserved respect as such. I didn’t imagine she’d care to share wine with two of her son’s potential girlfriends, who had practically invaded her home, and more specifically, her kitchen.

“I think it was more that I didn’t know what to expect. So, thanks for the warning, I guess?”  I laughed, but the sound was hollow and tinny to my ears. Nervous. A reaction that Arin himself had kind of validated. Yet, if he wasn’t worried about meeting my family, I was willing to attempt to suspend judgement and do my best stop being intimidated by his. “Busy, though, I can imagine.”

“Very busy,” he echoed with a nod, “but not all of the reasons are bad. We’ll have a Halloween party in the next few weeks, and I’m looking forward to that.”

I wanted nothing more than to be blissfully excited at the thought of a halloween party, and yet, I hesitated. Would I even be around to see it? Arin had narrowed the Elite down to eight instead of ten. More girls were being sent home, faster than I anticipated. The clock was ticking, and if Arin didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about him, then my time was almost up. I began to do the mental math. He had sent home two girls about every two to three weeks. Assuming he kept with the tradition of a final three, and assuming that I even made it that far - and both of those were pretty hefty assumptions - that gave me until about mid-November to win his heart. I hated thinking of it that way, but when it came down to it, that was the truth of the matter. I was here to compete for and hopefully win his love.

“That sounds like fun,” I replied, swallowing my questions and concerns. “Was Halloween a big celebration for you all?”

He just shrugged. “I mean we used to go trick or treating but we don’t usually have celebrations this big. It’s just for the Selection.”

I smiled a little, remembering what Halloween had been like for me as a kid, running around my neighborhood in a bedsheet and calling myself a ghost. “Did you go into the city to trick or treat?”

“No,” he answered, shaking his head, “we would go to my grandparent’s neighborhood. It’s about half and hour away.”

“That must have been fun - all costumed up, and everything.” I turned my head slightly to get a better view of him, grinning at the image of a little Arin running around in a Halloween costume. I wondered what he had gone as, when he was younger. The costumes must have been amazing, coming from the palace, after all.

“It was,” he admitted with a nod, “but I’m sure the party will be just as fun.”

“Oh, for sure. I suppose I’ll actually have to think up a Halloween costume this year.” Assuming you don’t send me home before then. If this conversation was any indication of how interested he was in keeping me around, my chances weren’t looking too hot. He sounded like he was talking to someone he’d rather not be in a conversation with, but didn’t want to be rude to.

Once again, he shrugged. “It’s not a big deal or anything, but I’m sure you could ask your maids about it.”

Okay, he was definitely either tired, or just not in the mood for this conversation. That was fine. I appreciated the company, sure, I mean, I had literally asked him to stay with me, but I had no intention of holding him here against his will.

“Well, it gives me something different to think about,” I replied, pushing myself off the counter, turning around once I was on my feet to look at Arin again, a small smile on my face. It was late, an hour when most people were asleep. He probably just needed sleep too.

“What’s that?” He looked at me like I had just tried to explain calculus to him, his gaze wavering only when he stopped to blink a few times, his eyes refocusing on me, and the world around us.

So, just lost in thought, then. I was rather familiar with the sensation.

“What were you thinking about?” I asked, leaning forwards against the counter, my curiosity now piqued.

He cleared his throat. “I was just thinking about my grandpa.”

“You’ve mentioned him once before,” I noted, feeling my gaze soften a bit. “Were you two close?”

“Yeah, we were. I just miss him sometimes.” He nodded once, his smile fond as his eyes grew distant yet again. His grandfather must have passed away a while ago, then. Unfortunately, I knew all too well what the pain of that felt like. The image of my mother’s parents flashed before my eyes, of them smiling in their front yard, watching my siblings and I as we chased each other around with balls and sticks, allowing us to let out all of our chaotic, childish energy before returning home.

I offered him a small smile, reaching for his hand without a second thought. “What was he like?”

“Oh,” he began, looking down at our hands, now touching. I followed his gaze, wondering if he wanted me to let go, but ultimately, I decided not to. He hadn’t asked me to, or expressed discomfort with the gesture. I had never been great with words. The simple gesture of holding his hand, or squeezing, was probably more supportive than anything else I could have offered him.

“He was great, from what I remember. He’d rarely ever raise his voice. And he was a fantastic storyteller.”

I paused for a moment, considering the mention of him never raising his voice, wondering if that was a common trend from other people in Arin’s life. I dropped that train of thought, though, in favor of something lighter. “A storyteller?”

Arin nodded. “Yeah, he’d make up all sorts of stories and tell them to us before bed sometimes - actually any time, if you were willing to listen. I think he’d have made an excellent writer, if he’d have had the chance.”

I furrowed my brows as I looked at him, my words slow, cautious, as they left my mouth. “Why didn’t he have the chance?”

“Oh, well he was a politician, so that would have been below his caste, but he also just never had the time, and when he did…” He trailed off then, taking a deep breath.

That was enough. I wouldn’t push him for anything further. One person crying in this kitchen tonight had been enough for the both of us, I was pretty sure. Instead, I squeezed his hand, unsure of how else to convey that I was there for him, and glad he had finally opened up to me a bit, at the same time. “He sounds like a really great man, and his stories still live on - in you, and in anyone else who heard them.” It sounded cheesy, but it felt like the right thing to say.

“I hope so,” he replied with a nod, turning to face me and give me a small smile. “One day, I hope to be just a fraction as good as he was.”

I came to the conclusion then that Arin couldn’t see how good he, himself already was. A bad person wouldn’t have stayed with me, wouldn’t have held me while I cried, wouldn’t have asked me if I was okay with even the slightest touch. Arin had helped me find solutions to my problems, had sat through an entire ballet to make me happy - none of those added up to him being a bad person. Had he made mistakes? Yes. Was he perfect? No - who was? He didn’t need to be perfect to be good. That was a lesson I had spent most of my own teenage years learning for myself. Perfection was impossible, but you could still be good.

I felt my smile melt into something softer. “Obviously, I never met him, but I have met quite a few people these past almost-twenty-one years, and I can confidently say you’re one of the good ones.”

He just snorted. “How long has it been since you’ve slept?”

“I think I’ve gotten fifteen hours total this week,” I answered, grimacing at my own response before looking back up at him, my expression now dead serious, “but I meant what I said.”

“Ev -” concern shone in his eyes “- you really should sleep.”

“I know.” I sighed, my shoulders sagging under the weight of the admission. My body was so tired, but my mind was only just waking up. “Believe me, it’s not for lack of trying.”

His eyes darted to the forgotten box of tea on the countertop. “Why don’t I make you some tea and then walk you to your room?”

The offer was tempting, and rather sweet, but a quick glance at my watch had me rethinking accepting it. I usually started my mornings pretty early, and my routine was the one thing that I had going for me right now, that kept me together when everything else got crazy. He was right though, and I knew that. I should sleep. I bit my lip, still unsure as I asked, “How strong is the tea?”

He looked down at the box, biting his lip as well. “I’ve never actually tried it,” he admitted.

Hypocrite. He’d tell me to do whatever it took to get some sleep, but wouldn’t do the same for himself. I furrowed my brows, getting the feeling that this tea had been bought with the express purpose to be used by him, and yet, he had never touched it, apparently.

That was none of my business, though, nor was it the problem at hand. “I just don’t want to accidentally oversleep,” I replied kind of sheepishly, my voice quiet as I lifted my eyes to meet his.

“Something tells me it’ll be okay if you do,” he assured me, shooting me a soft smile, “and if not, then whoever has a problem with it can take it up with me.”

I cast another look at the box. Arin would do that for me? He’d go as far to tell others to let me sleep undisturbed while there were other tasks I should be doing, and yet still had the audacity to say he wasn’t a good person?

It had to be guilt, I decided then, but about what?

I had some digging to do.

I exhaled once before lifting my head to look at him more fully. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated back, leaving for a moment to grab a Pyrex for the water, which he filled in the sink, and then popped into the microwave.

I watched him as I leaned back against the counter, my mind running at full speed as I absentmindedly fiddled with the letter in my pocket. Had it been something that had happened with Felicity, that had made him feel like he couldn’t possibly be a good person? They still talked, though - had danced together, even. It didn’t add up. Was it something that had been going on for a long time, then? Even Hugo had said that Arin could be a difficult person, and they had known each other for quite some time.

I had never asked Arin’s other friends or family about him, or why he was the way that he was. Something about that felt wrong, almost, like I was gossiping about him behind his back. He had a right to keep things to himself, if he wanted to. Now, however, I kind of wished I had asked.

“Thank you, again,” I offered, watching the Pyrex spin in the microwave.

“No problem,” he replied, leaning against the opposite counter, looking at me with a soft smile on his face. His eyes flicked down, towards my pocket, and his expression changed to something more curious.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What is it?”

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You’re fidgeting.”

“Oh.” I had been, I realized as I looked down at my hands. It hadn’t even registered, I was so deeply lost in thought. “I didn’t even realize, but yeah, I’m fine. Just realized I had something in my pocket I had forgotten about,” I lied, looking up and giving him a smile. I wouldn’t ask him about the guilt he carried. Not yet, at least. Another night, perhaps.

I had to get rid of this incomprehensible letter anyway. I pulled the folded up piece of paper out of my pocket, walking over to the trash bin. The apologies it contained were likely worthless, anyway. He’d never accept them - just tell me that I needed to stop apologizing.

“I wrote something down after the ball, but honestly, I can’t even read it,” I explained, shaking my head and laughing a bit to myself. “I don’t know why I kept it.”

He eyed the paper as I paused, watching as my hand hovered over the bin, ready to drop the letter in at a moments notice. “What was it?” There was no suspicion is his voice, just genuine curiosity.

“A letter, I think. Probably apologizing.” I shook my head. “Like I said, it’s completely illegible.”

“You didn’t want to mail it?” As he asked the question, the microwave beeped, and he made his way over to it, pulling out the Pyrex.

“It wouldn’t have to go that far.” Just to your room. I shook my head again, opening the lid of the trash bin, and dropping the letter in. The top closed with a satisfying thud. “Plus, again, illegible.”

This whole letter or note thing was terribly impractical. I should just ask for his phone number instead. It might save me from leaving an embarrassing written record of all of my thoughts. I never drunk texted - I was usually too wrapped up in my own thoughts, or whatever was happening around me to even think about my phone. Besides, after reliving my drunkest moments vividly each night for the past week, I wasn’t inclined to touch alcohol again anytime soon.

Setting the Pyrex down on the counter, he set his eyes on me, hesitating for just a moment before asking, “Who was it for?”

You, you idiot. Isn’t it obvious? I felt blood rushing to my cheeks, but I just shook my head, making my way across the kitchen, back to him, and the Pyrex.

His eyes lingered on me for a moment, but he didn’t ask me for more details. Instead, he walked towards the cabinet, grabbing a mug before turning back. Once he had reached the Pyrex again, he pulled a tea bag out of its wrapper, wrapping the string through the handle of the mug as he set the bag into the mug itself.

I let out a breath, glad to let the matter drop, even if I had brought it up in the first place in an effort to cover up what I had truly been thinking about. Arin would have dismissed what I had written out of hand anyway, telling me to stop apologizing - if he could even read what I had written, that was.

I looked at the mug for a moment, still unsure about the tea. If I pulled an all-nighter tonight, there was a possibility that I’d just collapse from exhaustion at the end of the day tomorrow. Wouldn’t that be better? A full night of sleep? Then I wouldn’t have to reorganize my entire day tomorrow to account for sleeping in, if I didn’t wake up after two hours again.

I turned to him, narrowing my eyes. “What were you doing up this late?”

“Same as you, I guess,” he answered, pouring hot water over the tea bag, and then pushing the mug my way. “I couldn’t sleep, so here I am.”

There was no way out of this. I had to drink the tea. I brought the mug to my lips, taking a tentative sip, keeping my eyes on him. The taste wasn’t terrible - very earthy, with a hint of sweetness - but it definitely wasn’t something I’d go out of my way to drink again. “Any reason in particular?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s just the way things are with me, but you -“ he narrowed his eyes at me “- you’re not a lost cause yet.”

Hypocrite! I raised an eyebrow, chuckling a bit before taking another sip, half tempted to force him to drink some tea, too. “‘Yet,’” I echoed.

“You’re still young, and you have time to dig yourself out of this hole,” he argued, shrugging.

Could he even hear himself, talking about his life and habits like he was a middle aged man, and I was some child who had come to him for help. It was absurd. I shook my head, rolling my eyes and smiling as I finished what was left in the mug in one go, just wanting to get it over with.

“For starters,” I began, setting the mug down on the counter, “I’m only two and a half years younger than you. As to your other point , I think I’m just used to a reverse schedule - I used to wake up before sunrise regularly, at home.” It was likely that I hadn’t been getting much more sleep before coming here than I was now, but somehow, waking up early to get work done was looked upon with approval, encouraged, even, whereas staying up late was often frowned upon. It was funny, considering the end result was the same.

“Well, all I’m saying is save yourself before you’re like me. You have two and a half years to make sure this doesn’t become your future.” He pointed at himself, as if he was the epitome of the worst thing I could possibly be two and a half years from now.

I raised an eyebrow at him, pushing the empty mug further away from me. “And what, you’re beyond hope? There’s absolutely nothing that can be done to help fix your sleep schedule?” He was being absolutely ridiculous. If I wasn’t a lost cause, neither was he.

“There’s a lot more to it than just sleeping,” he replied with a shrug, “but maybe one day I’ll be able to sort myself out.”

“You will.” Was it guilt that was making him feel like this? Perfectionism? A combination of both? There was definitely more to Arin than I was seeing right now, but I wasn’t about to pry, to push for details he might not feel comfortable sharing yet. I placed my hand on his shoulder, keeping my touch light as a feather. “I’m here, if you ever need or want to talk.”

I meant every word I said, even as I felt myself growing drowsier. Removing my hand from his shoulder, I laughed lightly to myself, a particular memory coming to mind. “I’m pretty sure I told you as much when we went roller skating.”

He immediately grimaced. “No offense, but I think that’s the last time I’m ever skating.”

“None taken.” I felt my smile soften as I pushed myself away from the counter, rinsing out my mug in the sink. Looking back at him over my shoulder, I reiterated, “My point still stands, though.”

He chuckled. “I know. Thank you for that. I appreciate it a lot.”

“Good.” My voice was soft as I gave him a small smile, my thoughts still moving at a million miles per hour despite the tea and my own pre-existing exhaustion. As if on cue, I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand as I did. I needed to think, to plan, on how to find out just what Arin had done or been like in the past, that had led him to this point. It would be easier to do that alone, at my desk, or maybe even in my bed, to give myself the illusion that I was sleeping.

I inclined my head towards the door. “Should we go?”

“That quick, huh?” He chuckled. “Maybe I need to start downing this stuff in my spare time.”

You should.

“I mean, I was already physically exhausted, I just need to shut my mind off,” I muttered, frustrated with my own mind as I shook my head.

He just blinked. “I’m glad I could help you shut your mind off then, I guess.”

I winced, realizing just how harsh my words had been. “That didn’t come out like I meant it to, sorry. I meant that I’m not awake because I’m not tired, but because a lot of the time, I get too wrapped up in my thoughts to fall asleep, if that makes sense.”

“I know, it’s fine.” Arin shook his head, eyeing the door as he did. It wasn’t fine, and I knew that. There were so many other things I could have said instead, so many better words, nicer phrases, than what I had chosen.

“You ready?” he asked.

I looked around, assessing the rest of the kitchen, before nodding. “Let me just clean up the coffee I made earlier.”

I knew technically someone would have to come around and clean it up in the next few hours, when breakfast prep started, but I didn’t intend on making extra work for anyone. My mother would have had a fit if she watched me leave a full pot of coffee on the counter. So I walked over to the pot, taking off the lid, and then pouring the contents into the sink, watching as they spiraled down the drain. It almost seemed like a waste.

I shook my head at myself. That was ridiculous. The coffee was cold, by now. It’d be awful to consume. Not that that tea Arin had made was much better. The valerian root made it smell faintly of dirty socks, and it tasted like twigs and rain water. I didn’t even think it was doing anything for my mind, except making me feel like I was mildly hungover.

I rinsed out the pot, drying it with a towel that someone had left on the counter, before returning the pot to the coffee maker, and turning to look at Arin. He was standing by the door, watching me, his expression a mix of confusion and something that looked almost thankful. “Oh.”

I shook my head as I walked across the kitchen towards him, chuckling. “What? I wasn’t just going to leave it! I can hear my mother getting on me about that already.” My mother, who’d be here next week. What would she think of Arin? Would she see him as a Prince Charming, or would she see through the facade, and see the well-intentioned, but troubled person underneath? My father often liked to share how she had called him a Three with a savior complex when he had first asked her out. I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d read Arin similarly.

“Evalin!” I mimicked my mother’s voice, accent and all. “We didn’t raise you in a barn! Clean up your messes!” I’d heard that exact line too many times to count, I realized, laughing a little at the memories of flour coating the kitchen, or pine bristles littering the living room floor. Still smiling, I sighed, readying myself to hear similar lines from her in the upcoming week. She’d have plenty, especially given the company, I was sure.

“Well, with my mom it used to be quite the opposite.” He chuckled. “Too much cleaning on my part.”

That made a lot of sense, given how particular he had been about the way he had placed the books I’d given him, and the book he had had when we kissed in the library, on the desk and table respectively, lining up the edges both times. Looking back on it, I couldn’t help but wonder if that had anything to do with the deeper issues he had alluded to earlier.

I was thinking too far into this. Shaking my head, I replied, “I’d like to think I’m tidy and organized, but my mother always seemed to walk into the kitchen right as I had made a mess, before I could clean it.”

It was true, I thought. My desk, my books, and my notes, especially, were all organized and color-coded, lined up in alphabetical order. I didn’t think well in messes. A cluttered house led to a cluttered mind. Even my room here was tidy, my books all lined up on my desk, against the wall, the rest of the space bare save for a single vase of daffodils and my laptop.

“My mother always seems to be the one making the messes,” he responded, heading towards the door.

“You balance each other out, then.” I smiled, inclining my head to the side a bit as I followed after him, taking a few larger strides to make up the distance between us. “I always used to organize my father’s books, in his study, when I was little. He used to just leave them everywhere -“ I shook my head, chuckling as I remembered the mess of books and papers that usually littered his desk “- and it made me feel important, like I was his assistant.”

“A brave man,” Arin notes as he walked out into the hall. “I’ve never been the biggest fan of people touching my stuff.”

I followed him out, taking up a spot at his side as we walked, still thinking about my family. “That's one way to put it, though I think my grandfather referred to him as, ‘a fool who loves his children too much,’ instead.”

It wasn’t as if my grandfather didn’t love us, or my father, either. He took us sailing and swimming every summer for the first fourteen years of my life, keeping us all with him and my grandmother in their little cabin in Tromsø. Us kids would get into so much trouble, those days. The sun didn’t set that far north in the summer, so there was seemingly no end to the amount of havoc we could cause, or antics we could pull. We only slept when we were physically too tired to stay awake. We’d push each other off my grandfather’s boat, ask him to stop on the side of the road so we could look at the goats - the possibilities each given day were endless.

I really wished the recent conflict with Swendway didn’t exist.

To my side, Arin sucked in a breath, sharply. “I’m not sure I could ever love any child that much.”

I looked at him with a soft smile, not entirely sure how to respond to that. Was he trying to have a talk about wanting children with me? We weren’t anywhere near that point. He was still technically dating seven other girls.

Unless this was his way of narrowing down his dating pool?

“Everybody has limits, I think, they’re just different for different people,” I decided aloud. “My father loved us a lot, but there were still certain lines we couldn’t cross. The attic was completely off limits to us kids, for instance, and he wouldn’t answer a lot of questions about his childhood, and there were times he’d lock us out of his study. He didn’t do any of that because he loved us any less. He’s simply still a person with his own feelings, concerns, comfort zones, and needs for privacy, with or without children in the picture.” I concluded with a small shrug, hoping my response might do something to assuage his worries about parenthood.

He looked pensive as we continued to walk, the hallways practically empty at this hour. “Maybe, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be that man. I know it’s expected, but I can’t really see it.”

I hadn’t considered it like that. Sure, I had always pictured having children in the future, but it was always a choice. I could choose - and likely would choose, if I was being completely honest with myself - to work, and not have children. Arin, however, didn’t have that luxury. He’d have to provide an heir.

As would his wife.

“You’ve got time yet,” I assured him. There shouldn’t be any rush - on him, or his wife, whoever that would end up being. We were all young - anywhere between nineteen and twenty-four. Time was in our favor, as Mélanie had said. “A lot can change in a few years.”

“I guess.” He pursed his lips. “Yeah.”

He had to become a father, and he thought he would be a bad one. I didn’t envy his situation, even as I continued to rationalize it in my mind. I felt my gaze soften as I looked at him, my voice quieter when I spoke again. “I think that the fact that you’re even worried about it means that you wouldn’t be the worst father out there.”

“Well, that’s good to hear considering I don’t have much choice in the matter.” He stopped at the foot of the stairs, looking up towards the top, as if there may the answers to the many challenges he faced.

“Arin,” I started, stopping beside him, and looking at him out of the corner of my eye. I’d have to be careful in choosing my next words. Walking barefoot, avoiding shards of glass. I could do that. “What would your ideal future look like, if you had a choice?”

“Maybe I’d be a professor or something like that,” he answered, still looking towards the top of the stairs. “I don’t know.”

“I could see that, actually,” I answered honestly. It was almost too easy to picture him at the front of a lecture hall, talking passionately about a topic related to history, or maybe politics. I grabbed his hand, giving him another soft smile, about to tell him just that, before I stopped myself. It was better left alone. He already had said that he didn’t like to consider hypothetical scenarios, if they weren’t realistic.

“Thank you,” he replied, squeezing my hand, “even if we both know that wouldn’t happen.”

“What would you teach?” The question left my mouth before I could stop myself. I stiffened, knowing I had fucked this up again. He was going to get so upset.

Arin shrugged. “I don’t know, and I don’t want to think too much about it because I won’t be able to do it.”

“No, that makes sense.” I looked down, my smile falling. I paused, debating what to say, if there was anything I could say to make this better, but instead, I just started thinking out loud. “Growing up - especially with my father being a biology professor - all I ever thought I would do was biology. I didn’t even question it, to be honest. Now, though, seeing that there are other things out there -“ I shook my head “- I don’t really have a plan, and I’m used to planning my life down to the second.”

“And now?” He glanced over at me.

I shrugged, still looking down at that bottom step. “Like I said, I have no plan.” I hesitated, taking a breath before continuing. “I mentioned it before, I think, but I had a pretty big falling out with the professor that I used to work under, and it ended in her more or less saying that she’d put in a negative review of me at every biology-related job I applied to in the future. I don’t doubt her, either. She’s very well known and respected in the field. So, I’m not sure yet.” I looked over at him, shrugging, though the motion was almost minute. I wasn’t ready to tell him about my applications to the Swendish universities, even though that was my most likely backup plan at this point. Something told me that the idea wouldn’t go over well with him.

“Did you speak with the dean like I suggested?”

“I sent an email, but got no response,” I answered, shaking my head. “So, I’ll just have to make up my biochem lab some other time.” I did my best to offer him a smile, but my mouth ended up in more of a straight line. When was, “some other time”? Would there even be another opportunity for me to finish my degree, if I ended up winning this? Surely there must be - Arin himself had completed college, after all. I’d likely just have to finish my degree at Angeles University then.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry. Maybe you could what AU has to offer for the fall?”

“No need to apologize. It’s not like any of this is your fault.” I shook my head, already way ahead of him. AU offered the lab I needed, but it wasn’t realistic at the moment. It was a nice idea, though. I looked up, my smile a bit more genuine this time. “I’ve considered it, though - AU, I mean. I’m just not sure if I have enough time in the day.”

He nodded in the direction of the stairs. “Well, is there anything that can be done to lighten your schedule?”

No, basically everything I do is mandatory. Run. Breakfast. Lessons. Lunch. School work. Dinner. More school work. Attempt to sleep. Fail miserably.

Did AU offer midnight biochem labs?

I laughed a little jokingly, my brain to mouth filter switched off, apparently. “Maybe if I stopped fretting over making everything I do as close to perfect as possible…” I trailed off, wishing I could die along with my poor excuse of a joke. Great, now he’ll probably be even more concerned.

“I’ll consider it further, though,” I relented, looking down. “The one plan I do have as of right now is to at least finish my degree.”

After that, everything was up in the air. Maybe I could leave here and go right to Swendway, get an apartment, some plants, and maybe even a dog, like I had always imagined. I could meet someone, settle down, and potentially start a family, if our lifestyles allowed for it. Alternatively, I could stay in Angeles, and find an apartment here, or just fully transfer to AU, and live in a dorm. At this point, I was close with almost all the girls who were still here. It’d be nice to have friends nearby, to be able to see them all on holidays, or just for fun.

What if I win? That was still a possibility. I could try and finish out my degree, marry Arin, and then what? Be forced to produce an heir? No, I understood completely where Arin was coming from on that issue - I wasn’t ready to consider that yet. Maybe once I was twenty-five, or even older. I had just fallen apart eighteen ways to Sunday, admitted to not sleeping, and to being a workaholic - not exactly prime mother material, if you asked me. I’d need time, and it seemed he did too, if not more.

“I like that plan,” he said with a smile, beginning to lead me up the stairs. “You should do what you want to do, even if you don’t know what that is yet.”

“So I’ve been told,” I shot back, biting my lip as I followed him up the stairs. Then, quieter, I added, “You should, too.”

He remained silent as we made our way to the top of the stairs, making no move to acknowledge what I had said. I followed, staying one step behind him until we reached the top of the stairs. This man’s insistence that he deserves only the worst is going to prematurely give me grey hairs. I came to a stop, tugging on his hand, which I was still holding, in an attempt to get him to look at me. I couldn’t fix him - no one person could. That wasn’t my job. Only he held the keys to bettering himself. At the same time, I couldn’t stand by and say nothing.

He stopped, his eyes meeting mine as he looked at me over his shoulder. Now was my chance. I kept my face serious, but my tone as light as I could, given the context. “Look, you said it yourself - I’m not beyond hope. Don’t forget that you aren’t, either.”

“I’m working on it,” he replied, nodding, “but right now it doesn’t feel that way.”

A familiar cracking feeling spread through my chest, and I didn’t know whether I wanted to cry or hug him as tightly as I could, and let him know that it’d be alright. Both of those options felt wrong, though, like he wouldn’t interpret their meaning in the same way I did. I settled instead for simply squeezing his hand. “It takes time, but -” I nodded once, offering him a small smile “-it’s possible.”

I was fifteen, just a girl, in my high school AP Calculus classroom, crying over the grade I had just received on our last exam. It wasn’t good enough. It was never good enough. I was a disappointment, a failure, even, regardless of whether or not the grade was a passing grade. There would always be somebody better than me, more worthy of being here than I was.

“Evalin,” my teacher had said, slowly stepping around her desk towards me, “it’s one bad grade. It’s not the end of the world.”

I looked up, frantically wiping away the tears that I couldn’t stop from coming. “It’s not good enough. I could have done better - I shouldn’t even be in this class, if this is the best I can do.”

“Evalin,” she had repeated, taking a seat in the desk next to me, now empty since the lunch bell had rung, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but please, don’t worry about it. You’re doing fine in this class.”

I shook my head. “‘Fine’ isn’t good enough! My parents…” I trailed off. They had access to my grades online, and likely already knew how bad I had done. I could picture them discussing it right now, sharing their disappointment, their disgust, their anger. I had big shoes to fill, and I was failing miserably.

“What did you get on this exam, again?” My teacher looked over my shoulder, peeking at her own red handwriting on my paper. “Oh, Evalin, that’s not even a bad grade! An A-minus in this class is something most students would kill for!”

Was she crazy? “It’s not an A.”

She smiled a bit as she shook her head, exhaling heavily through her nose, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “How about this - do me a favor, okay? Take the night off. I’m not collecting your homework assignment. In fact, I’m giving you a new assignment!” She stood up, shaking her head, placing her hands on her hips. “Do something relaxing, something fun - play a game, binge a TV show, watch something funny on Y’allTube. Be a teenager, for once.”

“I have other homework to do.” I shook my head as I hurriedly began packing my books, slinging my bag over my shoulder. The walls were closing in on me. I needed to leave. I couldn’t get out of this room fast enough.

“You’re clipping your own wings before you ever even have the chance to fly,” she called after me as I made my way to the door. “There’s more to life than just school, you know?”

“I need to get into college,” was all I said in reply before leaving.

It had taken me far too long to realize how right she had been. “There are better days ahead.”

I was twenty, almost twenty-one. I was here, walking the halls of the palace with the prince. I still wasn’t perfect - I never would be - but I was good enough to make it this far. The Elite. I was part of the Elite, and I had earned my spot here.

He chucked as we continued on down the hallway. “My standards are low, don’t worry.”

“Why does that make me worry more?” I grumbled, my smile turning into a frown.

“I didn’t mean it like that -” his expression was nothing short of surprised as he looked over at me “- just my expectations aren’t high.”

That’s the same idea, just worded differently, Arin. I raised an eyebrow at him, a teasing smile returning to my face once more. “You know that doesn’t sound much better, right?”

“I don’t know, Evalin,” he sighed. “It’s just the way I see things, I guess.”

He was a pessimist, then. No surprise there, honestly, so why was I frowning in disappointment? “No, I get that,” I assured him, shrugging a little. I was getting a clearer picture, a sharper image, of who Arin was now, pieces clicking into place as I put the puzzle together. Hugo had been right on two counts - Arin was complex, and I wanted to know the details.

“Right now I take things one day at a time, personally,” he continued as we neared my room, “but as the heir it’s a much bigger picture I have to look at.”

Naturally. Politics was a game of chess that I was only just beginning to understand as I scratched the surface of it. I had only seen the tip of the iceberg, as of right now, but I was certain that the lurking underside of this world would become clearer as my time here went on - and it would go on. Arin seemed content to keep me around for a while, or at least long enough to meet his Amma, when she returned in a couple of weeks. The thought was both thrilling and terrifying.

“Of course,” I replied with a nod. “Our actions now affect the future. That logic applies in any field.” The butterfly effect, I believed my father had once referred to it as. If we kill a butterfly now, it could change the entire course of the future, just as doing cancer research now could lead to a cure in the future, or how implementing a social welfare program now could benefit the lives of Illéan citizens in the future. It made perfect sense.

He nodded as I turned my head to look at him, his eyes distant. He was lost in thought once again. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, clearing away any notifications without even looking at them. They could wait. Right now, I had other goals in mind. Immediately upon unlocking my phone, I opened the contacts app, clicking the “add contact” button, and extending the phone towards Arin. “Sorry if this is too forward, but can I have you number? Only if you’re comfortable with it, of course! It’s just, the whole sending notes thing is nice, but kind of impractical, when you think about it -” I shrugged, not really sure what I was saying, at this point, my mouth moving, compelled by a mind of it’s own “- and I promise I’m not the type to blow up your phone. In fact, if you ask my family next week, they’ll probably complain about how often I leave people on ‘read’.”

He blinked once before nodding. “Oh, yeah.”

Maybe I really should think less.

He took my phone from my hand, quickly typing in a string of numbers before handing it back to me. “Here you go.”

I smiled, quickly opening up my messages app and starting a new thread.

Evalin: Evalin :)

            Delivered 3:58am

There, now we both had each other’s numbers. I wasn't sure what had compelled me to ask him, but it had just felt right. It was a gut instinct, I supposed. I should learn to act on those sometimes, instead of planning my every move down to the millisecond. Satisfied with the outcome of my request, I locked my phone and slid it back into my pocket, stopping as we reached my door. So, this was it, then.

I turned around, my back to the door as I faced him. “Thank you, Arin.”

“Of course,” he replied with a smile and a nod. Then, laughing, he added, “No more notes, I guess.”

“No,” I agreed, a grin slowly spreading across my face as I laughed along with him. “I suppose I'll have to take care not to rip the old ones.” I sighed a bit more dramatically than the situation called for, but something about it was easy, fun. It was unlike so much else, these days.

I looked at my door for a second before meeting his gaze again. “Can I give you a hug, before we part ways?” I wasn’t quite ready for a kiss goodnight - not yet, not when I knew the same dream would likely rear its ugly head once I fell asleep, if I even fell asleep at all, but a hug - I could do that.

“Oh, sure.” He chuckles, opening his arms and standing still, looking at me expectantly.

I went for it, wrapping my arms around him and holding on for a few seconds, taking in the feeling of it all, and putting it someplace special in my memory, for easy access in the future. I almost hated how right it felt. He was still seeing seven other girls. He still clearly had some kind of feelings for Felicity. Yet, here I was, so sure of us as I stood in his arms.

I let go, smiling as I looked at him. My feelings were my issue to sort out, and he was already working out his own. Maybe we’d fall together, or maybe we wouldn’t. Either way, I was certain we were both on the right path, right now.

“Goodnight, Arin. Get some sleep, will you?”

“I can’t make any promises.” He laughed a little at first, before looking down at me with a sad smile.

I came to the conclusion then that we were both just procrastinating on attempts at sleep that we knew would ultimately fail, too wrapped up in our own thoughts to let ourselves rest. I exhaled through my nose, looking at him a tad sadly as I put my hand on the doorknob of my room. “At least try?”

We could both at least try.

“I -” he paused, then nodded solemnly “-okay. You try too?”

I repeated his own actions, hesitating for a second before nodding, the ghost of a smirk flickering across my face. “I’ll give it a shot.”

“You should let me know if that tea works out, because if so, I may have to give it a try,” he replied, smirking ever so slightly.  

I wasn’t so sure it would, at this point, but nonetheless I responded, “Well, if I’m not at breakfast in the morning, then there’s your answer.” I leaned back against my door, one hand still firmly gripping the doorknob, but not yet turning it. It appeared that even despite telling each other to sleep, we were both still intent on procrastinating doing just that.

“If you’re not down by lunch, I may have to head up the search party,” he retorted, laughing at his own joke.

“Yeah,” I laughed along, shaking my head, “if I’m not awake by then, something is seriously wrong.”

“Or maybe you’re just having some good dreams,” he teased, his smirk growing as he spoke.

I was unable to stop myself from snorting and rolling my eyes, before smirking right back at him. This man was going to be the death of me, I swore. “Maybe it’s just a replay of you falling while roller skating, on loop.”

“That’s the best dream you can come up with where I’m the star?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

I hummed thoughtfully for a moment, sarcastically tapping my index finger against my lips as I considered it. “I suppose sitting on the floor at the ballet theater is a close second, or maybe the kiss in the library.”

Lukas’s lips on mine, too strong, all wrong.

No.

Arin’s lips on mine, hesitant, soft, as if he was waiting for confirmation that he wasn’t going too far.

Just the difference between him and Lukas alone left me baffled as to how he could think he was a bad person.

He raised his eyebrows even further. “Is that so?”

We were in this for the long haul, I realized, taking my hand off the doorknob and crossing my arms, all the while smirking back at Arin. “Well, it’s hard to have a bad dream about something so enjoyable.”

“I’d still argue that I don’t find the ballet pleasurable,” he shot back, tilting his head to the side a bit.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Not even the intermission?” When we sat together on the floor, my head on your shoulder, your head on mine, side by side, hands locked together.

“The ballet itself? Not likely.”

Was he dumb? I rolled my eyes, smiling a bit even as my frustration mounted. “And yet, I recall you sitting through it for a certain girl in blue.”

“I did.” He nodded. “And maybe I’d do it again.”

He would, if I asked. I knew it without even having to think for more than a second. It was just the kind of person he was, at least around me. I wondered if it was different for the other girls, or if he treated us all as if we were equals.

Entertaining that thought made me feel gross, slimy, sick to my stomach. I let it drop, instead inclining my head to the side a bit, and replying, “She might like to sit next to you again sometime, like you did on the floor. I think she also mentioned wanting to kiss you again, at some point.”

Was I ready to go there, right now? I wasn’t sure. Oh, God, what was I saying? I should’ve ducked into my room when I had had the chance, and spared myself the misery.

He raised his eyebrows at me, and rightly so. “Did she? A lot has happened since then and I’m not sure she feels that way still.”

This was my chance. I could change my tune.

Some part of me didn’t want to, though. The kiss with Arin had been different, kinder and softer, than anything I had felt before. I wanted to enjoy the sensation of kissing and being kissed again. I didn’t want Lukas to ruin that for me, and yet my mind kept going back to the same place - his lips on my lips, his fingers on my chest.

It was as if I could feel them now. My heart rate quickened, even as I answered, “She did,” with an affirming nod. “You might have to ask her first, though.”

I was just in the mood to make bad decisions while sober, it seemed.

“Well,” he began, swallowing once, “asking is very important.”

I just nodded, not trusting myself to say anything in response, even if I could find the words. I wanted to kiss him - had wanted to kiss him again for a long time. A dumb part of me wondered if kissing him would help me forget about Lukas, though I already knew every therapist I had ever seen would tell me that that was the wrong answer.

I had never liked therapy, though.

He glanced down the hall in both directions, taking a tiny step forward as his gaze settled on me again. We were doing this, then. Fuck my old therapists. I grinned back at him, pushing myself off of my bedroom door so that I was standing in front of him, my arms still crossed as I looked up at him. “Have any questions?”

“Many,” he answered, raising his eyebrows as he peered back down at me, “but I always do.”

Well, fuck, me too. I raised an eyebrow back at him in response. “Such as?”

“Where eels come from, and why eagles used to be Illéa’s national animal.”

I snorted. Smartass. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to keep myself in check before replying. “I’m afraid I can’t answer either of those, unfortunately.”

“The world may never know,” he replied with a small smile.

I shook my head. “A true tragedy.”

I uncrossed my arms then, beginning to reach up, intending to place my arms on his shoulders, my hands on his back. Something stopped me in my tracks though, leaving my arms hovering in midair. Would doing that make him uncomfortable, like he was pushing me too far? He wasn’t. I wanted to do it. He couldn’t know that, though. He couldn’t read minds.

He blinked, his expression almost surprised, though his voice was soft as he said my name. “Evalin.”

I sucked it up. “Are you okay with this?” My hands were still hovering in midair. “Because I wouldn’t be in this situation if I wasn’t.”

“I think so.” He nodded. “Are you?”

“Yes.” My answer was more sure of itself than I was, but I rolled with it anyway, reaching my hands up over his shoulders, lacing my fingers together behind his neck.

I could feel his pulse quickening as he looked down at me again, mumbling my name once more. “Evalin.”

I smirked back up at him. “Yes, Arin?”

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his voice a bit softer now.

I smiled back at him, looking into his eyes. “How nice this is. How I like being close to you.” I felt a faint blush start to spread across my cheeks, my voice softer too as I added, “How I kind of want to kiss you.”

He swallowed. “And what if you did?”

Was he nervous? It sure sounded like it.

I inclined my head a bit, still looking up at him. “Would you be okay with that?”

“Yes,” he answered with a nod, stepping a little bit closer.

I smiled. “Good.” With that, I closed the distance between us, leaning in for the kiss.

He kissed back, his lips gentle, soft, as he leaned me backwards until I made contact with my door. I rose to stand on my toes in an attempt to get a better angle. This kiss was longer than our first, but the touch just as feather-light, nothing pressured, nothing forced. Even sandwiched between him and my door, it was clear to me that I could break away whenever I wanted to. I had a choice. I had a say. My voice, my wants, mattered.

He reached up, putting his hand on the side of my face, his palms warm against my cheek. As he leaned down more, I leaned forwards, sliding my arms further over his shoulders and deepening the kiss. In response, his lips parted further, and he ran his fingers through my hair. It was heaven, bliss, euphoria. I could have stayed in that moment forever, my head empty of thoughts, the only sensation his lips on mine, his touch, the rise and fall of his shoulders beneath my forearms.

I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that. It wasn’t long enough, and yet, even feeling like that, I still was the first to pull away, completely out of breath. I pulled my arms back so that my hands rested on his shoulders, smiling at him as I attempted to catch my breath. If there was one thing I now knew, as he stared back at me, somewhat breathless as well, it was that Arin and Lukas couldn’t be more different.

We stayed like that for a few moments before he asked, “Was that okay?”

My smile only grew. “So much better than okay,” I answered, still a little breathless myself.

He chuckled a little, before responding, “Well, that's good to hear. You were very quiet.”

“Ah, sorry, I was just a little lost in thought - good thoughts, though.” I leaned back into my door a bit, only to feel it slip out from behind me. Either I had turned the doorknob when my hand had been on it earlier, or I hadn’t closed the door all the way when I had initially left my room. Regardless, I stumbled backwards, frantically trying to catch my balance. I would not let this night end with me falling on my ass in front of him.

Arin let out a noise of surprise, his arm quickly reaching out in my direction. He managed to wrap his fingers around my wrist in the knick of time, tugging me back upright as gently as he possibly could, given the circumstances. I just stared at his hand on my wrist, taking in the sensation of his fingers on my skin, blushing as I straightened up again and looked around the hallway. Luckily, it was still empty, save for us.

“Thank you,” I said, clearing my throat. “Right, so, I suppose this is really goodnight, then.”

How many times had we already said goodnight to each other now? Did the word even hold any meaning to us anymore?

“I think so,” he agreed, pulling his hand back and nodding, before glancing between me and my door. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, a smirk forming as I spoke. “I guess we’re even now, now that I’ve almost fallen in front of you.”

He simply laughed. “Try not to fall on your way to bed.”

“I’ll do my best,” I assured him with a nod, grinning as I took a few steps into my room. I stopped when I grabbed the doorknob, turning back to look at him before adding, “Go get some sleep, Arin.”

“Some other time,” he replied with a smile, taking a few steps back.

This man was going to be the death of me. “Arin.”

“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows.

“You need sleep, too.”

He shrugged, then gave me a small smile. “Sometimes.”

“Am I going to have to go full big-sister mode on you, and tuck you into bed to get you to get some sleep?” I narrowed my eyes at him, remembering how I had done the same exact thing for Randall in the past. “Because with what’s coming up in the next week or so, now, I am more than prepared to do that.”

“Big sister mode?” He blinked once. “Are you sure?”

Well, I had been hoping you would have more common sense, and it wouldn’t come to this. I rolled my eyes. “My point is - sleep!”

He just shrugged. “We’ll see.”

I was so close to losing it on him, but I kept myself together. Narrowing my eyes at him, I slowly began to close my door, throwing in one last “Goodnight,” just for good measure.

“Goodnight.”

I watched him take a few steps backwards before I shut my door completely, hoping that for once he might actually take my advice.

--

It was five-forty in the morning when Harald walked into the office. An earlier start than usual to his day, certainly, and yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had already missed out on something important as he made his way to the door, clocking in. On the far wall, his daughter’s friend, Lukas, was hanging up the phone with a loud sigh. Was he really even his daughter’s friend, anymore? Even after everything that Harald had witnessed last fall, she still seemed to consider him one, and yet, before she had left home three months ago, he had pulled into the driveway just in time to see her shove Lukas off their front porch. He knew that he shouldn’t have been as proud to witness that as he had been. Violence was never the answer - his own father had drilled that into him often, when he was a boy - but the occurrence served as a nice reminder that his daughter would be able to handle herself just fine.

“Good morning, Mr. Bernhardsen,” Harald offered by way of greeting, watching the boy tense up as he took his hand off the receiver.

“Dr. Berg.” Lukas inclined his head in greeting, his hands clasped behind his back as he smiled. “How are you?”

Harald ignored the question. He didn’t deal in pretty niceties, especially not where people like Lukas were concerned. They were a waste of time. Instead, he inclined his head towards the receiver. “Rough call?”

Lukas just shook his head, chuckling. “Just a particularly enthusiastic solicitor. Nothing exciting.”

The only thing that kept Harald from saying anything in response as he nodded was the hope that if he remained silent, Lukas might leave. Luck seemed to be in his favor that day, because within moments, the boy had exited the room, striding across the hall into Proctor’s office. They really were a perfect match as a mentor and mentee, and he didn’t mean that just because he wasn’t particularly fond of either of them. He had a sneaking suspicion that their goals outside of the lab aligned as well as their goals inside the lab did.

As soon as Lukas had fully vanished into the room across the hall, Harald made his way over to the landline, dialling a familiar code. It wasn’t a well known fact amongst the interns, but all calls to and from the biology department’s general landline were recorded for quality assurance. It was written into a contract that all interns had to sign at the beginning of the semester. Not that any members of the younger generation really read those contracts anymore. They could have signed their lives away without ever really knowing.

The recording began, Lukas’s voice ringing through the phone, loud and clear, and as grating as ever. “Hello, Evalin. Always good to hear from you first thing in the morning. What brings you to the office landline today?”

Evalin. His daughter had called? Why?

Something was wrong.

A man on the other end of the line cleared his throat. “I’d like to speak with Mr. Berg.”

Harald knew that voice. He had heard it on the television often. The prince.

Why had Prince Arin called the biology department to speak with him, using his daughter’s phone? Were they together? He checked his watch. It would be two-forty in the morning in Angeles right now. What were they doing together at two-forty in the morning? Harald didn’t like the images that were coming to mind.

“Ah, reverting to looking through cell phones, now.” Lukas clucked his tongue. “That’s never a good sign.”

“Actually, I asked Evalin to let me borrow her phone so I could speak with her father,” the prince replied smoothly. “I wanted to touch base with him about his upcoming visit to the palace, since I’m really looking forward to meeting him.”

This reply raised a whole new set of questions. How close had Arin and Evalin grown, in the past few months? The last Harald had heard, the pair had been at each other’s throats while roller skating, arguing about every topic under the sun. That had been months ago, though. It was entirely possible that a lot had changed since then. Or, perhaps the prince was looking forward to meeting him for other reasons. Harald’s frown deepened, his mind wandering towards a box kept in the corner of the attic of his house. Was it finally time for that box to see the light of day once again? Conflicts with Swendway were worsening. It seemed counterintuitive.

Lukas’s reply didn’t wait for Harald to finish his thoughts. “Well, I don’t know why she’d let you call now, since she knows her father won’t be in for another half hour.” There was the sound of some keys clicking, and then, “Hmm, looks like he hasn’t put in for any time off in the upcoming weeks, either. Unfortunate. He must not reciprocate your feelings. Do you still want me to take a message?”

Oh, shoot. He still had to do that. He’d do it immediately after he was done listening to this call. He’d been so excited at the prospect of seeing his daughter again, that the practical side of preparing to do so had been forgotten.

“Actually, it’s all been arranged with the Dean. It’s a surprise for Ev and her family, so this would be the first time he’s hearing of it, but no message is needed. I’ll get his direct number from her.”

Two more concerns were raised by this message. The first being the usage of the nickname, “Ev,” for Evalin. If she really was there with him - and she must be, because it was her phone being used to make the call - that meant she was okay with it. She must have been very comfortable around the prince, then. Their relationship must have improved since the time they had gone roller skating. Harald wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but the thought did make him a little uneasy. It wasn’t that he didn’t want his daughter to be happy - that was all he had ever wanted, really - but in a practical sense, their relationship likely wouldn’t last. She wasn’t the only girl he was dating. It was a recipe for heartbreak.

The second concern was that no call had been made to his cell, as of yet, which meant the prince must have lied. What else was he lying about?

Harald had a bad feeling about this entire situation.

“Ah,” Lukas replied, “I see. Well, I don’t know why you didn’t just start with that. Is there anything else I can do for you? Anything else you want to know?”

“I didn’t start with that because I don’t believe it pertains to you,” the prince answered sharply. “This is between me, Ev, and her family, so nothing else is needed from you.”

“Alright, then. Glad to know I’m not needed by you. Have a nice day!”

The call ended abruptly after that. That must have been when Harald had entered the room. He exhaled heavily, knowing this spelled out nothing but trouble. He reached into his pocket, taking out his cellphone, and clicking on the contact, “Goose.”

It went directly to voicemail. He tried a second time, only to get the same result. After the third time, he gave up, accepting that he wasn’t going to get a response. He debated leaving a message, but ultimately decided against it. He was going to see his daughter in a week anyway. He could reassess the situation then.

He only hoped the prince was as eager to talk as he claimed to be. Harald had some questions, and needed some answers. He had to assess the situation, and prepare for the damages to come - and they would come, more likely than not. Even Evalin herself had to realize that.

His sweet little girl, who saw the good in everyone and everything, was in love with a prince who had already broken off one engagement, and didn’t seem particularly enthused about entering in another. Harald had let her do this to herself. Now he just needed to see how badly he had messed up, and what he could do to fix it. After all, the important thing about mistakes wasn’t how big they were, but rather how you handled them after the fact. That was the most important lesson he had learned as a father.

Harald had made many mistakes over the course of his life, but the solution had always been the same. Watch, assess, set a new plan.

That was exactly what he would do now.

#selectionoc

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

A Plan from the High Priestess - My Princess Pt. 6

*Zendaya x Reader

*Summary: Rihanna has a plan and it’s a bit more than Reader expected.

*Warnings: Alcohol. Let me know if I missed anything.

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Part Nine || Part Ten

**********

The next morning you were woken by a pounding on your chamber doors. You and Zendaya had slept in later than usual, the emotional burden of the past few days finally taking its toll on you. As soon as she woke, Zendaya jumped up and began dressing in her daily wear. Once she was in an acceptable state of dress, you got up to answer whoever was still pounding on your door.

“Princess,” a young woman you recognized as one of Rihanna’s messengers gasped as you opened the door.

“Yes?” You asked, heart still pounding at the realization that you and Zendaya could have been caught.

“I apologize for bothering you, Princess, but the High Priestess has requested your presence,” the woman continued.

“Did she give a time and location?” Zendaya asked, walking up behind you as she sheathed her sword. The woman flinched slightly at the action.

“She said to arrive at her house around midday. The High Priestess told me to mention something about a potential solution to your current issues,” the woman replied in the same timid voice. You had a feeling that Zendaya fiddling with her dagger did nothing to put the woman’s nerves at ease.

“Thank you,” you told her, grabbing a few silver pieces from your side table and placing them in the woman’s hand. “For your troubles. Please let the High Priestess know that we will be there.”

“Thank you, Princess. Lady Zendaya,” the woman said, nodding before turning on her heel. As soon as you could hear her footsteps fading down the hall, you closed the door and turned to Zendaya. It was as though a weight had been removed from her shoulders; she looked like the same woman she had been before your betrothal. 

“Rihanna has a plan,” Zendaya said.

“It appears she does,” you replied, trying to stop the smile you felt coming. The second Zendaya’s smile appeared, you stopped trying to prevent your own. You practically jumped on Zendaya, wrapping your arms around her neck as you kissed her. If Rihanna had a plan, you were saved. You wouldn’t have to get married to someone you didn’t love, leave your kingdom, and leave behind the love of your life. Zendaya laughed, pressing kisses all over your face.

“We can’t go meet with Rihanna if you’re still in your nightclothes, my princess,” Zendaya told you, removing herself from your hold.

“I don’t want to call the handmaidens in, you know how nosy they are,” you whined. Zendaya rolled her eyes.

“Then wear something that doesn’t require a thousand layers,” she suggested.

“You know I don’t have anything like that.”

“I know for a fact that you do. Give me ten minutes, I’ll return with something.” With that, Zendaya left your room, placing a quick kiss on your cheek before she exited. You flitted about the room, unsure of what to do while you waited for her return. Eventually you decided on writing notes to excuse yourself from your various lessons of the day, knowing that a meeting with the High Priestess would be enough to properly rid you of your duties without getting you in trouble. You might have to explain (and lie) about the meeting later, should your parents ask you, but for now this was the simplest path of action.

Just as you finished putting your signature on the last note, Zendaya quickly opened the door and slipped in. You turned to look at her, smiling slightly as the dress you saw in her arms. It was one of your simpler ones, and one of Zendaya’s favorites on you. You remembered how easily the compliments had flowed from her lips whenever the seamstress left the room for something. “Love, was this just an excuse for me to wear that dress?”

“I did tell you that you had a dress that didn’t require a thousand layers, didn’t I? I’m surprised you forgot about this one,” Zendaya commented as she held the dress at an arm’s length to look at it. The little smirk on her lips confirmed your suspicions, and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself.

“I don’t need to remember it if you do,” you teased. You stood and walked to her, taking the dress from her. “I forgot how nice this dress is. It’s a lot better than my formal gowns.”

Zendaya was practically beaming from your indirect praise. You felt your heart swell with adoration at how proud she looked, just standing there for a second as you looked at her. You couldn’t believe that Rihanna actually figured out a way for you to remain here, with the woman you loved so. “You have to get ready, princess. You can’t just stare at me all day,” she joked, breaking the moment. You rolled your eyes, even with your inability to be annoyed with her.

“Then help me get ready.”

“Gladly, my princess.”

**********

When you and Zendaya reached Rihanna’s house, she was already waiting for you. “Come on, I don’t have all day and I’m pretty sure you both want to hear this as soon as you can,” Rihanna called out as she watched you tie up your horses.

“And yet it seems like you have infinite time. How many businesses are you up to now?” Zendaya joked back. Rihanna’s laughter rang out for a second before playfully scolding Zendaya. The two people Zendaya truly let her guard down around were you and Rihanna, and when Rihanna was around her playful nature seemed to increase tenfold. Although they weren’t related, they had a sisterly bond that you always loved seeing.

The three of you walked into Rihanna’s house, Rihanna and Zendaya already joking around. It was like they were making up for the few weeks they hadn’t seen each other, even if the nature of your visit wasn’t a social one. As soon as you made it to the sitting room, Rihanna motioned for you and Zendaya to take a seat as she continued to walk through the room. “I know it’s only midday, but do either of you want some wine? I was just gifted some good ones,” she offered.

“I’ll have a glass,” Zendaya perked up. You gave her a questioning look; it wasn’t often she allowed herself to drink, especially if she was on the job.

“Celebrating something, love?” You teased. Zendaya simply smiled at you, telling you all you needed to know.

“Sorry, but I’m not quite sure you should be celebrating just yet,” Rihanna interjected, walking back into the room with wine glasses and a bottle that you didn’t recognize. You wondered just who had gifted it to her, but it wasn’t uncommon for foreign kingdoms to send gifts to Rihanna to try to gain the favor of the High Priestess. It was uncommon for these gifts to actually work on her, though.

“What do you mean? I thought you summoned us because you had a plan,” you questioned as Rihanna poured the wine. You hadn’t originally planned on drinking, but it looked like you might need it.

“I never said that. I said I may have a potential solution,” Rihanna said, raising a finger to stop you from saying anything more. “I have some contacts in the Prince’s kingdom, and they put me into contact with his best friend, Harrison.”

You and Zendaya sat in silence, waiting for Rihanna to continue. Instead, she finished serving the wine, nudging two glasses towards you and Zendaya. She took a sip of her own wine, picking up the bottle and looking at it.

“This isn’t bad at all,” she commented before putting the bottle back down on the table. “Right, so, I’ve talked to his best friend from home, and I think I’ve gotten a pretty good idea of how we can work this to our advantage. We can’t just do something like have you act wild to make him want to call off the engagement, his parents are pretty set on this.”

“I’m aware. Sir Chadwick said we may be able to convince him to allow me to stay here instead of us ruling his kingdom,” you explained. Rihanna took another sip of wine, trying to hide her amused smile.

“Sounds like Chadwick,” she finally said. “That’s not a bad idea, actually. Maybe we should’ve coordinated on this. Anyways, we’re going to try something a bit more suitable to the situation. If we can find a replacement for you, then they’re not going to question him calling off the engagement.”

“It won’t work, he’s already been through the courting process,” you told her. “We were talking and he mentioned previous people he’s courted.”

“Well that’s just disrespectful. Zendaya, don’t you think it’s disrespectful to talk about past relationships with someone you’re engaged to?”

“Yes, it’s disrespectful, but do we have to focus on that? The man is engaged to my girlfriend,” Zendaya replied, disbelief on her face.

“Right, right, sorry.” Rihanna shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and focus. “Anyways, Harrison mentioned that he might know a few people that the Prince has previously had interest in.”

“And how are we going to manage this? It’s not like we can just bring a ton of princesses over here for no reason, and then shove Prince Thomas in the middle of all of them,” Zendaya commented. The look on Rihanna’s face instantly made you nervous. The little smirk she gave as she sipped on her wine just screamed trouble and scheming, but you wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t exactly what you’d asked of her.

“Rihanna, what exactly do you have planned?” You questioned, having no idea where she was going with any of this. It was always like this with Rihanna: if you thought you knew what she was going to do, you were definitely wrong. You didn’t even want to guess.

“It’s a work in progress, but we’re going to hold a ball for some of our allies,” Rihanna replied. “If the girls Harrison told me about just so happen to show up, then that would work wonderfully in our favor, wouldn’t it?”

“I like the idea, but how can we be sure that it works?”

“He’s a man. If we put the temptation there, he’ll be bound to give in. We’re not only taking the initial temptation of attractive princesses - not that you aren’t attractive, (y/n) - but we’re adding the princesses that his best friend knows he’s had interest in. We’ll just allow for the fates to work their magic as they so often do.”

“And if it doesn’t work?” Zendaya asked.

“Then we allow for Sir Chadwick and (y/n) to proceed with their plan. The two of you would still be able to live as you do, but perhaps with a bit more sneaking around than you currently do,” Rihanna answered. “It’s not uncommon for royalty to maintain relationships with people outside of their arranged marriages.”

“Rihanna’s plan will work. It has to,” you told Zendaya, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

“You two put a lot of faith in me, which I greatly appreciate, but you do have to realize that there’s still the chance it may not work out. I sincerely hope that it will, but we need to prepare ourselves if it doesn’t,” Rihanna said, voice gentle. You nodded, knowing that she was right. While you and Zendaya sincerely believed in Rihanna and her plans, you had to account for human error. After all, it was people you were dealing with here, and people always seemed to have surprises at the ready.

You and Zendaya stayed at Rihanna’s for a while longer, not quite wanting to go back to your realities just yet. There were few places where it felt like time just stopped and you could live in the moment: your quarters, the gardens, and Rihanna’s house. Of course you could still be found out at any moment, but there was a peace that lived in these places. You knew the moment you left Rihanna’s house, you would have to go back to your role as Prince Thomas’s betrothed.

**********

The second you returned to the castle, you were met by a flurry of activity. The atmosphere just exuded chaotic energy, and you could tell that Rihanna had already made her suggestion. The ball could have taken place a few months from now, giving the castle enough time to prepare, but that would have cut it too close to your father’s deadline. Instead, Rihanna planned for the ball to take place within the next month or so, wanting to give enough time to implement the backup plan, should the need arise.

Your normal lessons were thrown askew with the sudden excitement in the castle, so you and Zendaya were wandering through the castle, trying to find something to do while trying to avoid the visiting Prince. “You do know you’ll have to behave yourself at the ball, right?” You asked as you walked with no destination in mind.

“I wasn’t aware I was invited.” You scoffed at that, not completely sure if she was joking or not. You wanted to roll your eyes, but you stopped yourself from doing so just in case she wasn’t.

“Of course you’re invited. If you want to attend as a guest rather than a guard, I’d make a case for that too.”

“Would I be forced to wear a dress?” Zendaya asked, and this time you knew she was messing with you.

“I thought as much was obvious,” you teased back. Zendaya laughed.

“In that case, I think I’d rather miss the ball. You can tell me what happens afterwards.” Before you could say anything, one of your parents’ runners turned the corner, a look of relief on his face.

“Princess, you’re difficult to find when you wish to be,” he said. “Your parents wish to speak with you in the throne room. Lady Zendaya, you are welcome to join her, of course.”

“Thank you. Did my parents say anything about why they wish to speak with me?” You asked. He simply shook his head.

“I’m afraid not, they only told me to fetch you.” With that, the runner turned on his heel and went back the way he came, leaving you and Zendaya in the hall.

“Two silver pieces say I’m about to get yelled at,” you muttered as you and Zendaya began making your way to the throne room.

“And why’s that?”

“I don’t know, I just have a feeling,” you told her. If your mother was there, then she’d definitely find a reason to yell at you. She was smarter than most people gave her credit for, so there was a good chance she’d figured out your plan. It wasn’t necessarily the most covert operation, but sometimes hiding in plain sight was the better option. It was all just a matter of if your mother was paying attention to the things going on around her.

As soon as you walked into the throne room, you could tell your parents were stressed. You felt a little bad, knowing that it was something that you were pretty much directly responsible for, but it needed to be done. “(Y/n),” your father addressed you first. “The High Priestess sent a message that she strongly suggests we have a ball and invite our allies. You wouldn’t have anything to do with this, would you?”

“No, father,” you immediately lied.

“Then why did the High Priestess send for you this morning?” Your mother questioned.

“I’d asked her for advice concerning my betrothal. She didn’t want to give me said advice without knowing much about the Prince, so she did her research before giving me advice,” you replied. It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but it wasn’t the complete truth either. If your parents knew you were trying to get out of your engagement, they’d shut down everything. Your mother narrowed her eyes, and you felt your heart skip a beat.

“We’re going to have to postpone some of your lessons so our nobility can properly prepare for the ball,” your father spoke. You only gave him half of your attention, knowing Zendaya would be able to remember the changes being made to your schedule. You focused on your mother, practically able to see her mind working to see if you were telling the truth or not. You registered your father dismissing you, so you nodded in acknowledgement before turning to leave the throne room, Zendaya following close behind.

“So what were the changes?” You asked as soon as you were a safe distance from the throne room.

“No etiquette classes until the ball, and your classes with Sir Chadwick are going to be cut back,” Zendaya told you. “What happened?”

“I’m worried my mother is suspicious of our intentions. I don’t know how we can manage to keep her from finding out,” you explained.

“Don’t worry, my Princess. She won’t find out,” Zendaya consoled you, placing a hand on your shoulder. You relaxed slightly, believing in Zendaya’s words. They would be the truth until reality proved otherwise, and you were completely fine with that.

**********

Tag List: @honeyyhuggs​, @uncookspaget​

Permanent Tag List: @spidey-pal​

#zendaya x reader #zendaya imagine #zendaya coleman x reader #celebrity imagine

[heyyyharry]

My Girl Series: Chapter 5 - Somebody Else

…in which, once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy, and no one else.

Series description: Y/N falls in love with the older boy next door who doesn’t feel the same, years later they meet again at a funeral.

AU: actor!harry, older!harry, younger!y/n; (4-year age gap)

Chapter 4: Thumper The Rabbit - Harry tries to mend the past, but Y/N wants to let it go.

wattpad link

‘Somebody Else’ bathroom version, you’re welcome

.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl, and no one else..."

Those hot summer days had turned the little town called Holmes Chapel into a heated up oven. Everyone would rather stay indoors where there were fans and air-conditioners, yet the two kids Harry and Y/N refused to abandon their treehouse even for a day.

It was a blazing Wednesday afternoon. In the crooked treehouse, the little girl's voice was a lullaby, with the help of soft summer breezes through the branches, sending the 14-year-old into dreamland. With his eyelids fluttering, Harry heard her say, "don't fall asleep."

"I'm not." He tried to open his eyes and look at her.

"Liar." She scoffed. "Is my story boring to you?"

The little girl closed the pink notebook, looking a bit offended as she crossed her arms.

"No," Harry told her as he folded his arms behind his head. "But I want to hear the good stuff, like sword fights or gun battles or something."

"It's only chapter one. I haven't introduced all characters yet."

The boy thought for two seconds before he asked, "I thought there were just the two of them and no one else?"

"Well, it's just a way of saying. They are best friends, so in their eyes they are the only two people in the world." She furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head at him in disappointment. 

"Is the girl you?"

She nodded.

"Is the boy me?"

"No, it's a very handsome guy."

"Fine." Harry huffed as he turned his eyes back to the ceiling and told her to carry on. He couldn't see that smile on her face when she resumed reading the story she'd worked so hard on. Even if she'd lied and said it wasn't true, the boy was Harry of course.

.

.

.

Y/N quickly closed the pink notebook on her lap when her phone started to ring. The call was from her best friend Celine, the one Y/N had been expecting to hear from in almost two weeks. Both Celine and Amala had been so busy with their part-time jobs and final exams so Y/N couldn't describe how elated she was to finally receive that phone call.

"Cece, I miss you! How's Boston?"

"Boring as usual. I'm at work right now but I missed you so much. How are you, baby?"

Y/N scanned her eyes around her messy bedroom, at all the papers and clothes lying everywhere on the chair, table, and floor. She was kind of hopeless if she was honest.

"I'm struggling with my work in process. I'm rereading my old stories to find inspiration." She looked at the time and realized she'd been sitting in front of her laptop for an hour now without actually writing anything. Sighing, she went on, "I miss my imagination back then. I used to be so creative."

"Adulthood kills creativity."

"True." She agreed, rolling her eyes. "How's Amala?"

"She's doing great. Maybe we'll video call you tomorrow night. We both missed you lots and lots!" The next thing Celine said was what Y/N had been expecting."Hey, how's it going with the hot photographer?"

"You know." The girl clicked her tongue. "We're just...flirting back and forth."

"Good! Take things slow, but please let yourself have some fun like a normal 20-year-old."

Celine’s advice put a smile on her best friend's face as the girl nodded her head, and soon remembered they were talking on the phone and she couldn't be seen.

"Got it," she said, biting her bottom lip.

"When are you seeing him again?"

"Tonight. He invited me to his exhibition."

"I thought you said he was taking photos for fun."

"That's what I thought! But it turned out he was actually famous, like he shoots for magazine covers and shit. That's so intimidating."

"That's hot! If I weren't gay and taken and your friend, I would eat him up already."

Both girls guffawed at Celine’s remark.

"Shit, I've got to go now! Any more update?"

The first thing that came to Y/N's mind when she heard the word 'update' was actually Harry. She hadn't told her two best friends about them being friends again yet, because those girls had known too much about her history with Harry.

Though a lot had changed in the last two years, she didn't think they wouldn't just believe her friendship with Harry had improved so much just from hearing the words from her mouth. So she decided to keep him as a secret and wait until she saw them in person to break the news. It'd be more convincing if they could see for themselves how much Harry had changed.

"Nope," Y/N lied. "I think I've told you everything, Isaac, my father's engagement..."

As the silence sank in, she heard her best friend exhale. Celine had basically grown up with her and known her father for almost eleven years now, so that news had also shocked the girl a lot. She didn't know the man well to despise him, yet the pain he'd caused to Y/N made it impossible for her to even respect him like she used to.

"I'll call you tomorrow okay?" Celine said, sounding cheerful again all of a sudden, probably to distract her friend from thinking about her father. "Have fun tonight! I'll be refreshing your insta feed!"

"Oh, God!" Y/N tossed her head back, laughing hard. "Bye! Love you!"

"Love you, too!" And just like that, Celine ended the call.

.

.

.

"So I just ran into Daniel Bullard from Vogue Italy. He was obsessed with your works and he told me—"

As his manager kept on rambling about another magazine cover deal, Isaac failed to focus on what this man thought was important. He couldn't stop the words from going into one ear and out from another while scanning his eyes around the crowded room.

He knew this had been his biggest photography exhibition by far, and he was supposed to be excited that there were many big names here tonight. However, he felt so incomplete that the one person he hoped to see most wasn't there.

Harry wasn't there.

He'd told Harry about this exhibition before anyone else, and Harry had never missed a single special event in his life ever since they became friends. So if Harry decided not to show up, Isaac knew it wasn't because he'd forgotten, it was because of Y/N.

"Isey!" The nickname got the photographer to turn his head, and spotted the cheerful Irish man waving at him from across the room.

"Hey, Lee," he interrupted his manager, who was still talking. "I'm gonna go say hi to Niall, if that's alright."

The Asian man sighed as he realized Isaac hadn't heard a single word he'd said. So he just gave up and told his client to do whatever he wanted. "Meanwhile, I'll be over there, praising you to Daniel Bullard."

"Thanks, Lee." Isaac patted the man on the shoulder and headed towards his friend.

They pulled each other into a tight hug because it'd been nearly four months since the last time they saw one another in person.

"You bastard, why didn't you tell me you were back in London?" Isaac asked, one hand on the other guy's shoulder, smiling widely.

"I wanted to surprise you. This exhibition is amazing by the way! You should shoot my next album cover!"

Niall's suggestion made the blond chuckle. "Only if I got half the profit of every single album you sell."

"Hey, I'm your friend!"

"You made Harry and I buy tickets to your concert, you dick," Isaac exclaimed, hands on his hips as both of them cracked up at the good memories with all three of them together.

Harry, Niall and Isaac had been close friends since they shared a dorm room back in university. Now at twenty-four, they had all become famous and got the lives they'd always wanted, living their dreams. The only thing that hadn't changed was their friendship, so Isaac hoped it would just remain this way.

"Speaking of Harold, where's he?" Niall looked around, squinting his blue eyes to search for that familiar curly head. "Where's the other musketeer?"

Isaac shrugged, not knowing what to say but the truth, "maybe he won't even come."

"Why? Did something happen between you two while I was gone?"

"No."

"Fucking liar. I'll ask Harry then." Niall raised an eyebrow, staring at Isaac and waiting for him to say something, but the guy simply gave him a shrug, lips pressed into a faint smile as he let the awkward silence continue. Niall couldn't take it anymore. He lowered his volume to make sure only his friend could hear what he was about to say.

"Don't tell me he's still upset about the Ruby thing."

"Actually, he handled it better than I thought," said Isaac. "But dude, I almost flew to L.A to punch you for sending us that article about Ruby's engagement. He blocked her on social media for a fucking reason."

"Sorry, sorry, I was just really shocked!" Niall held up his hands like a criminal surrendering to a cop. "I just wanted him to know she's a terrible person."

"I think he knows, but whether he believes it or not depends on himself, not you and I." Isaac shook his head.

Niall opened his mouth to say something else, yet got cut off immediately by his friend's notification. Isaac excused himself and took out his phone to read the text, which instantly got him beaming.

⌲ Smiley: I'm outside. Should I just walk in?

He quickly typed back:

⌲ Yes, just tell them your name. You'll see me as soon as you enter. :)

"Niall," said the blond, beaming as he sent that text. "I cannot wait to introduce you to someone."

"Ooh, lemme guess, it's..." Niall paused a bit to think and then shouted out, "Harold!"

Isaac was very confused, at first he thought his friend was joking, but then he heard that all-too-familiar voice from right behind him saying hello. He turned around, and there he found Harry, dressed in a nice suit with his hair pushed back, making his way to them.

The green-eyed man put on a grin as he gave Niall a hug, then Isaac too. He apologized for being late and congratulated his best friend on this exhibition, like their argument the other night about Y/N had never happened. Isaac didn't know how long it would last, but at the moment he couldn't be any happier.

"I'm glad you're here, H," said the blond, who now started to look more like the host of his own event with that elation on his face. Now that the three of them were together again, they could—

"Hey, guys!"

That female voice caused both Isaac and Harry to turn to the main entrance. Two big smiles appeared on both handsome faces as they called out, at the same time,

"Bambi!" / "Smiley!"

Harry looked at Isaac, who looked at Harry, and the men heard Niall mumble "awkward..." under his breath but he wasn't wrong. It was truly awkward for both of them, and maybe for Y/N too.

"Smiley?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows, mouth agape, staring at the girl who shrugged and flashed him a smile. He was hoping the nickname his friend had just shouted out wasn't meant for his Bambi, but as she hugged Isaac and couldn't stop smiling at him, Harry knew it couldn't be anyone else.

Pulling away from Isaac, Y/N turned to Harry and hugged him as well. He didn't know if she noticed, but he held her a bit tighter than he normally would, and when they broke apart, he told her she looked beautiful in the dark blue dress she was wearing.

"Thanks. This thing is two years old already." She looked down and giggled, and for a short second there Harry almost forgot Niall and Isaac were with them.

"Niall, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is—"

"Niall Horan!" Y/N interrupted Isaac, shaking Niall's hand enthusiastically. "I love your music!"

"I like her already." Niall chuckled, eyes on his two best friends. "Which one of you assholes is her boyfriend?"

Both men were left dumbfounded by that one question, but the person who answered it wasn't one of them.

"Neither. We're just friends," Y/N said, red lips curved into a smile, and the satisfaction on Harry's face could not be more obvious.

"So every random person has a nickname for you then?" Niall raised an eyebrow though his attempt to lighten up the mood had his two friends sighing in frustration. "Maybe I should give you a nickname as well."

"Niall, don't even."

"Shut up, Harold, lemme think." Niall held up his hand as he shushed the other brunette.

"In the meantime..." Isaac trailed off, shaking his head at Niall, who was still trying to come up with another nickname for the girl he'd just met. But the photographer never got his chance to finish as his manager Lee appeared out of nowhere and grabbed him by the arm.

"Where's the girl?" Asked the manager, leaving all four people confused.

It took Isaac a second to remember and realize what that meant. So he quickly pointed to Y/N and said that she was the girl.

"Good, good." Lee nodded quickly, holding both Isaac's and Y/N's hand as he laughed. "Blair and Cyrus Archer wanted to see you both."

"The Archers? The twins who shoot for Vanity Fair?" Y/N asked and everyone looked at her in shock, all wondering why she had that knowledge. Shyly, she told them she'd done a bit of research about the industry before she came, so she wouldn't end up looking like a fool.

"Oh, she's smart too! How great!" Lee squealed in excitement as he squeezed her hand. "They are literally obsessed with that shot of you, darling."

"Wait, what shot?" Harry finally spoke up as it seemed like he was the only one there who hadn't seen whatever Lee was talking about. Confused, he quickly followed everyone to another room.

And as soon as he entered, one particular exhibition immediately caught his eyes. It was a portrait of his Bambi. Though the shot was black and white, that beautiful smile on her lovely face was all the colors it needed to radiate joy all across the room.

Harry stood transfixed in shock and disbelief as he heard Y/N whisper to Isaac, "I can't believe you picked that one."

He then replied, "your smile is the brightest in that one."

"Harold?" Niall nudged Harry to pull his friend back down to Earth, but the green-eyed brunette never got his chance to comment on the artwork. Lee jumped right into his mouth, saying he needed to borrow Y/N and Isaac for a moment.

"Sorry boys, networking is key!" said the man as he grabbed the startled pair, pulling them with him towards the twin sisters waiting by the portrait.

Harry couldn't be there much longer. Even though he blamed the overcrowding room for his annoyance, he knew all those people didn't bother him half as much as the happy two standing over there.

"So that's what you two have been hiding from me?" Niall held back Harry's arm as he intended to walk out.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The girl. Smiley?"

"Bambi." Harry knew Niall made that mistake on purpose to test his reaction, yet he still got irritated, probably because of the nickname alone. "I'll go get a drink, you coming?"

"Then you'll tell me what happened?"

The actor gave his friend a smile, but then brutally killed off Niall's hope with his answer. "In your dreams."

.

.

.

The love song blasting from the loud speaker really got on Harry's nerves, as he looked around at those happy couples dancing and making out with each other. It wasn't even Valentine's Day yet and he'd already felt like the loneliest person in a room.

The after party at Lee's house was massive, and many of the guests were important people in the entertainment industry. Harry swore he knew most of them and they knew him. Still there he was, standing in the corner with a drink in his hand and himself as his own company, like a geek at senior prom.

Across the room, Niall was flirting with a girl Harry had never met before. Isaac and Y/N were nowhere to be seen, and Harry didn't want to guess what they could be doing right now. As if seeing them together wasn't awful enough.

The actor quickly emptied the glass in his hand and laid it down on the table by his side. Fuck, he thought, I really need another drink.

"Well, isn't this the famous Harry Styles?!"

Harry could've broken his neck from turning his head so fast to the sound of that voice.

There she was, his Bambi, walking towards him with a cheeky smile and asked him why he wasn't dancing like everyone else. He told her half the truth, that he wasn't in the mood to party at the moment without telling her why.

Surprisingly, she didn't ask, and just tugged on his arm as she said, "come dance with me."

It wasn't a question, more like a request, one he couldn't deny. So he let her pull him along to the center of the room to join the dancing crowd, thinking about how they used to dance with each other when they were kids; but of course, with them being adults a lot would have changed already.

Under the flashing red and blue lights, Harry couldn't take his eyes of the young woman in front of him. She was swaying to the rhythm of the upbeat song without caring who might be watching her. Her energy fueled him to also let himself loose.

She grabbed his shoulders, pulling him in, their foreheads resting against each other as he finally found the courage to place his hands on her lower back. If anyone was watching them now, they might think they were in love.

"You dance like a grandpa," she teased, raising her voice so he could hear her over the loud music. Harry couldn't help but laugh at her comment.

"Thanks, that's why I act and not dance."

She rolled her eyes playfully, shaking her head as she cracked up.

"Where's Isaac?" He finally asked.

"Oh, he's talking to some people Lee introduced him to."

"Why did he call you Smiley?" The second question had no relation to the previous one, yet Harry couldn't keep second guessing anymore. He assumed the nickname had something to do with the shot of her smiling, but the answer Y/N gave him was beyond his prediction.

"He called me that to remind me to always smile."

Harry nearly lost his balance on his own two feet when he heard those words. Sure Y/N had never been his to begin with, but at that moment, he realized he was losing her.

"Let's be honest, Bambi is a better name." He scoffed and received another smile from the girl.

"Don't you worry," she told him. "I'll always be Bambi."

Though that seemed far from the truth, it was what Harry chose to believe.

"I can't believe the last time we danced together you still had pigtails," he said, beaming at her as he ran his hands through her hair.

"The last time we danced together I still had a crush on you." That response was beyond his prediction but the next thing coming from her mouth put him up short.

"Don't worry, I'm over it."

Harry stopped dancing and so did she, not because she could read his mind, but because she spotted Isaac heading towards them. Harry turned his head just in time his best friend arrived and asked to steal Y/N for a moment.

"Sure. She's all yours," Harry said. Those words had been the hardest to say by far. "I'll see you later, Bambi."

Without waiting for her to reply, he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek to say goodbye. And not until he was walking away from them did Harry realize, he had never kissed her on the cheek before.

It was rather embarrassing to even try to guess her reaction as he headed straight to the bathroom, and he didn't even need to go. He just wanted a place to get away from all those background noises and human interactions, even though those things kept him free from the crazy thoughts inside his head.

The muffled music from outside had changed to Somebody Else by The 1975. And as he washed his hands in the sink, Harry cursed the one who'd made that playlist. Were they trying to narrate his situation at the moment?

I don't want your body But I hate to think about you with somebody else

He needed to get out of there.

"Lee, have you seen Isaac and Y/N?"

The manager excused himself to the guests as he turned to Harry. "They just left together, he told me he was gonna take her home."

Harry thanked Lee, ignoring what the man had to say next and just walked away, pushing his way through the packed room to find the exit. Now that they were both gone he had no reason to be there anymore.

He was just a few steps away from the door when a familiar figure caught his eyes, and for a second there he thought that girl he saw was his Bambi. From behind she surely looked like Y/N, but she was wearing a different outfit.

The girl turned around, sending Harry a smile as soon as she caught him staring. What happened next was very hazy in his memory probably because the alcohol had finally kicked in.

He vaguely remembered approaching the girl and asking her to dance. He remembered them drinking until his head was spinning in circles. He remembered kissing her on the mouth as they called a taxi to go to his place. He remembered taking off her clothes as well as his own. He remembered having sex. But most importantly, he remembered thinking of Y/N the entire time.

And when he crashed down on the bed, sweaty, all out of breath, Harry remembered the feeling of disappointment. The girl said a lot of things to him, yet his ears automatically canceled out all the other sounds apart from his own heartbeats.

As he drifted off, the face of Y/N from earlier as she pulled him close continued to haunt him still.

.

.

.

Y/N giggled as she ran up the stairs with Isaac following right behind her. The lift in the building broke again, so they had to walk five floors to get to her flat, and Y/N would've been so embarrassed if Isaac hadn't already known she was too broke to afford better accommodation.

"Don't be too shocked when you see my room."

"I've been in your room before, love," he said, catching his breath as he took the last step to reach her and gave her a tired smile.

The last time he'd been there was actually on the day they first met. After hanging out together from morning till night, he dropped her off at her place and she invited him in for a cup of tea. That was how they woke up the next morning with him spooning her in her bed, fully clothed of course.

"You were lucky the last time because I'd just cleaned it. I haven't done it again since." She chuckled, pulling out her keys as she opened the door. Then the girl was completely frozen in her spot.

Isaac looked around the tiny living room, it wasn't that bad so he didn't get the shocked expression on her face. It was only when she bent down to pick up a white envelope someone had probably slid through her door gap that he realized the real reason she'd reacted that way.

"Is that a wedding invita—Hey!" He shouted out, reaching for her hands but it was already too late. She'd already torn the envelope to pieces and marched across the room to toss them all in the trash bin. She looked at him, he looked at her, neither said another word, both second-guessing each other's next move.

She knew he wanted to ask her why, but he wasn't sure if what he was wondering would be invasive, so he stayed quiet. Anyway, she was glad he had chosen not to question what she'd done.

"Tea?" She asked with a smile.

.

.

.

"Y/N!"

The way Isaac shouted out her name caused the girl to bat her eyelashes and she finally made it out of her maze of thoughts. The cup of tea she’d made for him had been emptied whereas the one in her hand was still full and had gotten cold.

"What's wrong?" He asked in concern. "You kind of spaced out."

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

Isaac checked the time on his watch and furrowed his eyebrows as he realized how late it'd been.

"I should leave so you can rest."

"Wait!" She stopped him. "We can...We can talk some more...I'm not that tired."

Her reaction made the man laugh as he nodded and shifted a bit to get back to his previous comfortable posture. He looked around the room, at the books and many crumpled up pieces of paper lying all over the floor and on the table between them. It looked like the aftermath of a tornado inside her living room but he didn't have to raise questions for her to give him the answer.

"I'm struggling with my writing."

"Yeah, I figured." He chuckled. "You told me about the book you'd been working on."

"I haven't even edited the first chapter." She rolled her eyes. "But it sucks anyway, so..."

"Can I read it?"

"What?"

"Your first chapter."

"Oh...that...well..." The girl straightened her back, flipping her hair over her shoulders in a nervous manner as she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry but I've never shared my unfinished work with anyone besides my mum and..."

"Harry," Isaac finished the sentence for her, leaving her surprised for a second.

"Yeah." She nodded. "But when it's ready...if it's ready, I'll let you read it."

"I can't wait."

The gentle smile he was giving her had her sitting there with her heart in her mouth. Her anticipation told her he was gonna say something else, so she quickly stole his chance to speak by blurting out, "do you wanna stay tonight?"

"S-Sure." He chuckled, slightly taken aback yet also amused. "If you want me to."

"I want you to," she asserted.

"Okay. Then I'll stay."

.

.

.

Harry woke up in the middle of the night and found himself in his bed with a naked stranger lying by his side. She had her back turned to him so for a split second he imagined it was Y/N though he knew for sure it was not. Y/N's hair smelt like freshly picked apples, not lavender, and she had a little scar on her left shoulder from crashing her bike into a tree when she was eleven. Harry didn't know why he remembered that, but he did. And now he couldn't go back to sleep anymore.

He propped up on his elbows, reaching for his phone on the nightstand to check what time it was. It was almost half past two in the morning. The worst time of the day to be awake. Usually, at this hour, his thoughts would go out of control and he would always end up doing things that he would regret in the morning, like what he was going to do next.

He searched for Y/N's number despite knowing to call her up this late would be cruel, if she had class early in the morning and needed her full eight-hour sleep. However, he missed her too much and desperately wanted to hear her voice. He had no idea what had gotten into him and why he was so needy for her attention. She was his little Bambi. But he seemed to have forgotten that already ever since he got jealous over her relationship, or whatever it was between her and his best friend.

He quietly left the bedroom and made that impulsive move to dial Y/N's number, biting his nails as the beeping on the line continued for what seemed like forever.

But it wasn't Y/N who picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"I-Isaac?" Harry nearly choked when he heard the voice, still he prayed she'd left her phone in Isaac's car or something. Something. Anything. Let it not be what he had in mind. "Is Y/N there?"

"Yeah, she's sleeping. She told me to pick up the phone."

Harry heard noises in the background like someone shifting between the sheets. And he had the squeezed his eyes shut to fight the thought that his worst fear had come true.

"Who's that?" Her sleepy voice was faint but he could tell it was her talking to Isaac.

"It's Harry."

"Great...You talk to Harry, I'm gonna sleep..."

"Mate, she just...dozed off again." Isaac's chuckle drove Harry insane. "Is it urgent?"

"No...uhm...Her dad just asked me to check on her. It's fine." That awful lie was followed by the worst laugh Harry had ever faked, but Isaac couldn't recognize that over the phone so he sounded so indifferent when saying goodnight and goodbye to his best friend.

Harry's heart died down as soon as the call ended. He dropped his arms down to his sides and leaned against the wall behind him, looking defeated. He stood there, pondering for about five minutes before deciding to head back to bed and trying to get some sleep before sunrise.

The girl who looked like Y/N was still sleeping. He kind of envied her now because he couldn't fall back to sleep, so he just closed his eyes and tried to think about anything but the previous phone call.

As he dug through the memory box in the small dusty corner of his mind, Harry found himself going back to that hot summer afternoon in the treehouse and he could hear her voice reading aloud the story in her pink notebook.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl, and no one else..."

Harry didn't know how that story ended because Y/N had never finished it, or at least never revealed the ending to him. But how wonderful could it have been, if that was the last sentence of the story instead of the first? Now, he could no longer return to the world where there was no one else besides them two.

#my girl series #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles writing #harry styles series #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #bestfriend!harry #older!harry #younger!y/n #actor!harry

[oveliagirlhaditright]

My dark Kairi story/KHIV story chapter four: “I Do Not Fear Death”. World: PotC’s Dead Men Tell No Tales.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456412/chapters/62293999

Author’s Note: So… I think I decided with the Enchanted chapter—and am carrying it over with the rest of this story—that the Disney worlds aren’t going to be one-to-one what happens in their movies, since KH was at its best when it didn’t do that (like with KH1).

Also… when I was first reading this chapter, I felt like Pip wasn’t in it enough—so I kept adding in scenes—but upon editing it, I realize he’s in it TOO much and it’s kind of annoying… But I felt like I couldn’t really cut the scenes out. Like, I decided right when he was about to meet Riku, that he’d been in it enough and that I wasn’t going to have him in it the rest of the chapter… but then I realized I meant to have an introduction between him and Riku right there—and I didn’t want to risk forgetting to do that later, if I left it out here—so I had to change my mind about that. So… just suffer with it in this chapter, I guess (I’m sorry:(). And hopefully it shouldn’t be this bad in the future ones.

Swallow Chapter Four: I Do Not Fear Death

Sora’s PoV

'Kairi... I can feel that you’re looking for me', Sora thought, alone in his prison in a certain place. 'I'm... somewhat worse off than I even was in that Game now... But I know you'll find me. And thanks for never giving up on me.”

And having thought everything he needed to at the moment, Sora succumbed to the familiar lull of sleep again and dreamed of life…

Kairi’s PoV

In order to be strong, Kairi went to one of the hardest worlds she’d heard of from Sora: the Caribbean/

And while she should have been happy about the connection, she'd perhaps found to Sora in the last world... the Princess of Heart couldn't help looking back at what she’d done in Faith and Angel’s world, and only feeling despair. She felt horrible about how she'd treated Angel—and Kairi feared that she still might be led to do that same sort of thing, and it scared her. And she wanted to apologize—but there was nothing she could do about it now. Especially not when Pip was shivering in Kairi's pocket in discomfort, obviously feeling her intense emotions too strongly. So Kairi decided to instead focus on the matter at hand.

And the moment Kairi did just that, she thought that something was wrong... because there were no pirate flags on the sea at all?

"Do you think this can possibly be the Caribbean then, Pip? Given the story I just gave you about this place?" Kairi asked her new friend, who was stroking his chin thoughtfully at her question.

How Kairi wished that Riku was here with her, to help make sense of things (and Sora)... because despite their somewhat rocky relationship, they were still (sadly) closer now than they had been in years…

And Kairi'd so very nearly called Riku, just before she'd heard from Sora in Giselle’s world... but how could she have, when her lust and jealousy had led to a “Heartless version” of Sora there? Surely Riku would have been disgusted by her actions again…

But Kairi opted to not think of any of that now... Instead, she focused on that she was near a bell, that Sora had perhaps described to her once. So, this was Port Royal, then? And the reason there were no pirate ships nearby was because they would be shot on sight, and the pirates hanged for their crimes?

Before Kairi could think about any of her questions much more, she heard a massive ruckus and turned her attention that way. It seemed that the people here were trying to execute a girl about her age?!

Kairi felt her blood boil for that, as she remembered how women had been treated in some places Sora had told her about: worlds so bad, that he hadn't even wanted to think about them. But with how much Sora loved this place, it couldn't have been one of those. Could it?

"Whoa, Kairi!" said Pip, as he jumped onto her shoulder now. "I can literally feel you getting redder in your anger. Calm down, alright?"

"S-sorry!"

But if Kairi was being honest with herself? She now hated this stammering, uncertain version of herself, too. Perhaps her being anyone was just a lose-lose situation, then…

"Pip, we've got to go save that woman!" Kairi shouted, as she ripped at her dress from New York, so she could better run and fight in it. "Time is of the essence!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!"

And Kairi ran towards the guillotine in the town square. And even from far away, Kairi took in the book the woman was holding—that looked like it had stars on it... stars like the worlds—and prayed that this lady could help her find Sora.

...

The first thing Kairi saw when she was in a sea of people that made her feel very anxious, was that Captain Jack Sparrow was also being tried! It had to be him, based on Sora's descriptions, Kairi thought. The man before her had somewhat dark skin, with eyeliner around his brown eyes and above his mustache and a slight beard? Those were all descriptions that Kairi had heard for Jack. The princess also noticed his dreadlocks, clothes that tried to be fashionable despite being tattered, and his ridiculously large hat.

Kairi ran towards him instantly, and cut off the guillotine that was now mysteriously hanging from his neck. But she knew she wouldn't be thanked for it.

"Come on, Mister Sparrow!" Kairi cried, as she took his hand in hers and began leading him away. "Let us save that woman—and the boy who’s with her?—and be on our way!"

"…That's a fascinating sword you have there, missy. You wouldn’t happen to be a Bonnie Lass of Zola’s, would you? And if you are… by God, you and your lot haven’t aged a day.” Jack spoke to Kairi, as he punched a guard here and ducked under soldiers there, all while apparently examining Destiny’s Embrace.

And while Kairi wanted to be annoyed that he would just assume she was Sora's girlfriend because she had a Keyblade like he did, she was too busy to debate him.

Because a boy who had a light much like Sora's, was about to get a sword through the heart for trying to aid the girl in the blue dress! And Kairi had seen enough pure-hearted boys die, thank you very much... even if she had also been close to killing one herself.

The Light threw herself between the boy and girl, and the ten lances that were coming their way. And she thought that if she died this way, at least she'd go out a hero like Sora had... and maybe she'd even be put out of her misery and get to see him in some sort of afterlife.

But just when Kairi thought it was over for her, because she felt some blades going through her even as she tried to dodge them, she was pulled up and over them... and lived, and joined the ragtag group that had just formed.

And Kairi was eager to follow the older man who had just joined them, telling the group—Captain Jack in particular—that he had the Pearl just before them that they could board, but of course Heartless had to show up at that exact moment... and the nasty Neoshadows, too.

"Oh, fine!" the brunette bellowed as she began to impressively attack the overly-large Shadows with the chains that had bound her—all while Kairi used a quick cure spell on herself, and used aeroga to send some of their enemies flying away from them--"I see you want to grab at me just like men do, and I will give you the award that I do to them."

The boy who was not unlike Sora to Kairi, blushed—as if thinking the woman was talking about him?—and informed her to, "Focus on the fighting right now, Miss Carina," as he kicked at some of the Heartless.

Jack, meanwhile, was stabbing them through their stomachs.

And Mister Gibbs—Kairi was assuming it was Mister Gibbs, anyway—was hitting some over the head with the butt of his sword. But even with all of this, they were getting nowhere fast with the Heartless and the soldiers.

So Kairi put a barrier around herself and her new friends—so nothing could get to them as they ran—and the moment they were aboard the boat, she was instantly demanding answers from Captain Jack. "You- you were right. I am Sora's girlfriend... and he's been lost. Do you think there's anything here that might save him? Especially since he was sort of lost to the sea? Because my name means that... and he died for me."

Jack looked at Kairi with sympathy, she could see, but it was the girl in the blue dress—Carina—who answered Kairi as she seemed to size her up in an excited manner. "The Trident of Poseidon will serve you well, I think, and I'll help you find it. I'm trying to use it to find my father, and Henry is trying to get it to free his own, who is supposedly the Captain of the Flying Dutchman."

Kairi was about to go talk to Henry at this news, but she didn't know if she would've been ecstatic to talk to this son of Will and Elizabeth or not, since those two’s story was so similar to hers and Sora’s, but Kairi didn’t even get the chance to find out how she would have felt, because Mister Gibbs cut off any conversation post-hate, as Jack glared at him. "We will not be going after any legendary artifacts today. It's more than enough that I have Jack here at all, given his bad luck and lack of pulling any weight lately. And I won't be making any of it worse, by repeating the past.”

Almost immediately, Captain Jack Sparrow jumped in to argue, saying, "But we need to, mate, to stop Salazar. You remember his horrendousness from what I've told you, aye? Help me defeat him, and there may be an old magic compass in there for you."

And while those two were fighting over that, Pip jumped onto Kairi’s head and began fighting for her sake, just as it looked like two other male pirates had been about to? "Yo, old man,” said Pip. “Listen to the ladies—and who I'm assuming is your captain—here. For one thing, Kairi's been through enough and deserves her boyfriend back."

But unfortunately, no one was taking Pip seriously... as the captain looked at him with the most displeased look Kairi had ever seen, and deadpanned: "Great. Something else like the monkey Jack."

Kairi sensed that her friend was upset for being so easily dismissed—and she wanted to be there for him, like he just had been for her... but she was too busy making sense of something, that almost had her throwing up over the deck... She'd traveled at least twenty years into this world's future... which shouldn't have been possible, because Henry had just been born when Sora was here a year ago... and now he looked like an adult. That must have been what Jack had been getting at earlier. How had she managed to mess up traveling here so badly... or was this a good thing? Had her heart connecting with Sora's led to this?

Still feeling overheated and like she was going to be sick, Kairi ripped more of her brown dress off with one hand while she held onto the railing of the deck with the other. Near instantly, she felt great about how cool she felt and she breathed a sigh of relief, as Pip went back to hiding behind her hair… and Henry put a hand on her shoulder? "Miss, are you okay?" the young-man questioned. And was it Kairi, or did he sound like he'd gotten used to saying that kind of thing lately, with how easily he could have made her swoon if her heart didn’t already belong to Sora?

"I'm fine... I just noticed something. It's no matter.” And if the look Jack was giving her was any indication, he must have guessed the same thing she had... or just thought Sora was the luckiest man in the world, for having such a young-looking girlfriend.

"Anyway, Henry… out of all of us, I get the sense that Mister Gibbs will only listen to where you want to go. So direct us somewhere ‘nice’, I guess. But once we find the Trident, we’re going for it.”

And then Kairi went over to where the man with the fake eye—and his bigger pal—were stationed, to try to figure out how to help man such a ship.

…

It was when Kairi was being reminded (since she’d known some of this stuff from home) that the left side of the ship was the port and the right was the starboard, that Carina joined Kairi on the deck for fresh fruit and regarded her with a smile.

Meanwhile, the pirates Pintel and Ragetti—who Kairi had recently learned the names of—were kindly trying to fish for her.

"You look like you could use some cheer. Jack Sparrow has convinced Mister Gibbs that we do need the Trident, to defeat some fiend named Salazar, so we're headed in the direction I believe it’s in. And here’s how we're going to find it." And Carina pulled out the starry diary that Kairi had spied earlier, but up close she could tell there seemed to be some ruby encrusted into it.

"What is this, exactly?" Kairi questioned, as she sat up from where she’d been sitting so she could see the book better. "Jewels from the earth here? Do you think the Trident was buried under ground where these ar-" But Carina was already shaking her head “no” before Kairi had completely finished asking that question.

And seeming curious about what Kairi was talking about, Pip came to see what was going on. And Carina shook her head at his appearance, in a sort of bemused manner. “Somehow, I can believe about your talking pet here, but not these monsters Henry is blathering about. Anyway... I was left at an orphanage by my father... and he left me this journal. The cover of it represents constellations, and is said to lead to the Trident of Poseidon, and surely my father. And after studying star charts all my life, I know where this constellation is in the sky… and so we’re heading out that way.”

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kairi queried, as she decided to make herself more useful by swabbing at the deck some. "Wait, actually... what was it you were saying about monsters?"

"She was only speaking of the worst kind," said a voice from beside Kairi's ear. It was Jack... and he seemed grim, as opposed to the usual happy-go-lucky and devil-may-care attitude Kairi had gleaned from him thus far. "Salazar: a ghost who's an enemy of all pirates... including you, lassie."

"A ghost?" Pip asked the question that Kairi had wanted to—and it made her smile--but when she had visions of what this ghost might look like, she definitely didn't smile. He seemed half-human and half-ghost, and parts of his hair and clothes were being torn away from him, into the other realm, as segments of him remained. And that black, villain-type smile from him...

Kairi swallowed, in realizing she felt torn apart like him she was: because didn’t she want to be both a Pure Light and someone who had a cruel heart now?

"You see something, don't you?" Henry asked, as he came up beside Kairi now, clearly having taken in her mystified look. "You see something, the way that I can almost see visions of my parents when I look at you."

Utterly confused, Kairi was about to ask why Henry should see his family when he saw her... but then she thought it must have been because Sora had helped shaped their lives... and she and Sora were very much the same since sharing the paopus. So perhaps that was the reason?

"I-" but just as Kairi began speaking, the nightmare she had just seen came to life as day turned into night: the electrified ghosts appeared out of the ether, and walked through their own ship and onto the Black Pearl. And before Kairi knew it, she was being held captive by Salazar and was the defenseless girl once again.

"You were never the gentleman I was, Sparrow," Salazar drawled in a chilling whisper, that made gooseflesh appear all over Kairi's skin, as she tried to get out of the chokehold he had on her. "So, you surely believed that women on a ship were bad luck. So why do you have two here now? Surely they're liabilities... like this."

"...Please," said Kairi, as a single tear sled from her eyes. "If you really are—or were--just like you say... let me go. I'm not even fifteen yet. And I'm on a mission to save someone..."

And he let her go so fast, that Kairi was first mad she hadn’t tried that same thing on Master Xehanort… But then she was furious that she hadn’t even tried to attack Salazar here, so she charged him now… and swiftly paid the price for it, as Pintel and Ragetti—who had missed everything that was going on, and were happily presenting the fish they’d caught for Kairi—were stabbed through the middle, by Salazar himself and some of his lackeys. And they were coming for the rest of the crew, too, when Jack made the wise decision to careen the ship into an area where you could still see daylight and they were vaporized.

But Salazar, in being far too clever, jumped into the dark ocean with the rest of the crew and disappeared for the time-being, as Kairi ran over to her new friends and tried to heal them again and again and again… but to no avail.

This was what she got for embracing her darkness, wasn’t it? Kairi decided as she cried. Why had she ever thought it was a good idea? And yet… she couldn’t let it go, either. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t fight the type of it that was settling into her veins even now, like a cancer, as it begged her for revenge against that man… and she wanted to comply.

“Salazar won't let such a thing happen again," Jack quietly warned them all, as they already began the horrible price of trying to give the two lost pirates a sea burial… Why did death have to be so final? Kairi pondered whilst she shook all over. "It was an accident on his part. The Pearl's speed—to allow us get close enough to the setting sun, coupled with Salazar's shock… it won’t happen again. When he strikes again, and he will, it’ll be fully at night, and when he feels he’s had enough time to nurse his wounds. So, we must be ready. And I’m sorry that I’ve gotten you all into this.”

There was a side of Kairi that wondered if something else had saved them... Sora had told her that the goddess Calypso had blessed him with the power of the sea always being his—or something like that—and she wondered if Sora had been watching over them, and he’d made the waves carry them away in that moment. But she didn’t say it. Not after her friends Pintel and Ragetti died because of her own stupidity, she certainly didn’t—as she wrapped her arms around her torso and just tried to keep herself together right now.

"We need to get to the Trident of Poseidon now. Forget a day’s rest and all of that," said Henry, with an urgency that Kairi had never seen in him before, but that reminded her again of a certain leader: her Sora. Henry seemed to be speaking when Carina couldn’t here, as she was clearly too shaken to talk of the quest that meant so much to her. Instead, she seemed about to go hide in the captain's cabin… or perhaps in her own head. "It's our only chance against Salazar... because believe you, me, I've faced him before and it will especially be no picnic next time. Perhaps with it, we can free our fathers and they can help.”

In the background, away from all of them now, Mister Gibbs was laughing... but to Kairi, he seemed to be doing so without humor. And as much as it somewhat bothered Kairi that he still clearly didn't want to help out, now that they were in whatever they were in... she also felt bad for him. He hadn't wanted to assist Jack for this very reason, so perhaps he would have been well within his rights to refuse.

"Then get back to following the star charts I gave you,” Carina urged. “I’ll hold lantern light over them, so you can do just that.”

No one objected with what Carina had to say, but rather adhered to her commands… all while Kairi stayed locked in her trauma. It seemed to be the story of her life, and she hated it.

"You should go talk to Carina," Pip tried to persuade Kairi now, as he lovingly braided what was left of her hair. "She seemed spooked."

"I know, I want to," Kairi agreed. "But she's busy helping Jack navigate—because I guess it’s Jack now. Gibbs is too drunk to steer—didn’t you here?"

So Kairi went to speak with Henry instead. Not because she sensed she needed to, or anything like that, but rather because she wanted to. She still felt her furious emotions like a festering disease inside of her—and she thought she might do something stupid, like kill some harmless White Mushrooms if she didn't try to calm herself down.

"Henry," Kairi said, as she got in an assembly line beside him, so they could get done whatever needed to be done while still talking. "Your parents knew my boyfriend Sora... did they ever mention him at all?"

Henry smiled rather bitterly for Kairi's words, and it only took her a moment to realize why. Of course! Will hadn't had a chance to be a large part of Henry's life. How foolish she'd been, to forget that.

"Henry, I'm sorr-"

But he was already lifting a hand up in a sign of peace. "I get it, Kairi. Don't fret. Bad memories just returned to me for a moment there. Forgive me. But, yes: my mother in particular spoke of a strong and kind young-man named Sora who had helped them out. Mother thought he had a true heart... and trusted him much more than she did Jack. "

And if anything could have lifted Kairi’s spirits and made her think she was doing the right thing to try and bring Sora back, it would have been what Henry just said. And so Kairi smiled her own secret grin, and spoke. “…Henry thank you so much for those kind words here. You have no idea what they mean to me. And to return the favor, I’m going to tell you that Sora talked to me about your parents. He said how brave and strong your mother was, and how he was proud of her for that… And he was so sad about what happened to your father, and hated that he had such a fate... hated that your parents did, really. And I know Sora would have loved to meet you like I now am. He probably would have thought that you're a mix of the best parts of both your parents." Kairi knew that she thought that... from what she'd heard about Will and Elizabeth from Sora, anyway.

It was somewhat weird for Kairi to talk about Sora in the past tense in such a way. A few months ago, she would have rebelled against the very idea or it.  But the Princess promised herself that she only spoke in such ways now, because she would bring him back.

"…Thank you for that, Miss Kairi. Thank you." And Kairi thought that Henry might have said more—Pip was cutely motioning with his hands that he should—if a ship hadn't rammed into the Pearl that very moment.

Fear stole its way into Kairi’s heart, as she thought Salazar must have been back already… but it wasn’t him.

And then Kairi was flying backwards—nearly over the edge—from where this boat was still ramming itself into the Black Pearl, but she thankfully regained her bearings… and  not by grabbing onto the railing, like her weak, past self would have, but by summoning her Keyblade and digging it into the deck, until the Black Pearl had righted itself again.

“Oy! You’re wearing a getup similar to that of those Organizers… wonderful,” Jack moaned from beside Kairi, as he surveyed the scene. The person who now seemed to have everyone aboard’s attention, was the man standing on his decent sized, navy blue ship, who wore sky and snow colored robes large, a strange unicorn mask, and had long and silver hair, much like Riku’s old style.

“Who are you?!” Mister Gibbs demanded, as he glowered across the way at the man with the same colored hair as him. Kairi wondered if he was trying to find a camaraderie with the man, since they arguably seemed to be about the same age, to tell him that that he shouldn’t be acting like this… but Kairi couldn’t be sure. “And can you get your stern out of-“

At those words from Gibbs, Kairi noticed Carina laugh for some reason. But then she quickly became unsettled again, though not as much as she had been in having to admit once and for all that ghosts existed.

“I swear if you’re with The Master of Masters—or Organization XIII, like Captain Jack suspected—I’ll-”

But Kairi was cut off when the man literally threw dolphin Heartless her way. One had even smacked into Kairi’s chest, with its razor-sharp fin, and cut a deep gash into her… this day—for it was nearing day again—just kept getting better and better, and Kairi was fairly certain she was just numb at this point. Oh well.

The redhead slashed at every Heartless she could see—and all of her friends were taking a page from her book; Carina was even bravely hitting them with her shoes—but she wasn’t foolish enough to let the man go without answering her.

“Why would you send dolphin Heartless my way?! I’m assuming you know my name means ‘sea’, and so you’re making a reference here… but does that mean you want to hurt me? I thought your ‘Master’ wanted me to use my anger!” Kairi was taking a shot in the dark here, that he was one of the Master of Masters’ pawns, but she thought that he must be. Since the Master of Masters was the only one (until this guy) who was wearing a robe since they’d defeated the Organization in the Keyblade War.

And in another meeting with the Master of Masters that Kairi had had recently, he had told her that he had five followers… all of which who had an animal motif. Why he had told her this crucial information, Kairi wasn’t sure… but she was starting to make some guesses about it all.

“Because my Master isn’t yet sure what he wants to do with you… Kairi, is it? He says that you often cast a great darkness, but also a great light. If it were me, I’d end the threat that you are now… but he’s gentler than I am, so here I test.” The man’s voice was deep and strong, and it reminded Kairi a lot of what Leon had sounded like in the short time he’d helped to take care of her.

And despite how Kairi had been trying so hard not to cry lately (even after others dying because of her, because sadly… what else was new?), she nearly did here… in learning how much she must have fallen to darkness—for this man to be saying this to her—and she wondered what sort of plan of the Master’s she was allowing to fall into place by being this way.

“But why?!” Kairi demanded. “Why be so wishy-washy about me?! What’s-”

But Kairi didn’t get her answer. The Heartless—that were not truly being defeated by her allies, because only Keyblades could do that—were now using their blades to put holes in the ship. Great.

"Miss, Kairi: can you use that special blade of yours to stop this?” Henry asked, as he plunged a sword through a Heartless’ would-be-heart… but only for it to pop up again beside Jack. Kairi dived over the pirate’s head to stab at it—imagining how Jack may have done this to protect Sora in the past, and thus she was paying him back for protecting her boy—and sighed.

More and more Heartless were coming—though Kairi didn’t get it, since the man didn’t seem to be summoning them… odd—and she was trying to destroy them as fast as she could, before they came back (how were they doing so so fast?!) and made more holes appear in the boat.

She used some of her pearl magic to get rid of ten going towards the Crow’s Nest here (well, as best as she could, anyway, since some of them were flopping away from her attacks as if they were break dancing), and used fire to get at some coming for Carina’s hair, and was about to do a third thing… when a mast fell down and landed on the Pearl. And with the massive injuries the Black Pearl had already sustained, it was now being split in two—while everyone screamed—until…

Until that man teleported onto the center of the wreckage and used a force field to keep the Black Pearl from breaking even more, and to even stitch parts of it back together.

“What are you doing?!” both Jack and Gibbs demanded; the words had very nearly been on Kairi’s lips, too, or at least they would have been if she hadn’t seen where Mister Unicorn was going with this.

“You want me to fight you to prove myself, don’t you? Well, here I am!” Kairi exclaimed, as she stood on opposite ends of the man and readied her Keyblade.  “Let’s go!”

But Carina took Kairi by surprise. “No,” she said, as she put a hand on her shoulder and walked past her. “You did enough for us in defeating… those things. Let me do this for you!”

“No!” Kairi protested. But the… the monster—he could be no less to Kairi—had already cast a shield around Carina and himself, so no one could get to them.

Carina was being clever—in trying to find a good place to kick Blue in the shins, it looked like; and was the monster actually giving her a chance to do so?—but it wasn’t enough for Kairi. She summoned Thunder, not even caring that she might strike herself, to try and break the barrier and get Carina out of there.

“Here! Let me at it!” Pip shouted, as he got to the top of said barrier and attempted to clobber it with his paws. “I swear I’m good at things, other than just writing. And I don’t want the lady to get hurt!” And Kairi couldn’t believe that some of what Pip was doing was working… he was creating pressure points on the top of the shield. So, what was this? A power of friendship thing, or-

But Kairi didn’t get to finish that thought—or to warp-strike to the top of it like she would have liked to—because just then the fiend had summoned a Keyblade and stabbed at Carina’s arm. And he severely injured it—blood was sliding down down down her arm, as it seemed about to come off—and Henry was bellowing Carina’s name at this point, as he punched the force over and over again, thus creating more wear in it.

Carina wasn’t one who was helpless, however—not even in situations like this—and Kairi could tell she was going to attempt to press the monster’s eyes back into his skull, as he aimed for her neck, if she didn’t do anything.

And Kairi was sick of this—sick of all of this!—because even though she’d been in and seen horrible wars before, it had never been as brutal as this… the people hadn’t attempted to end each other in such horrible ways. It was so much… too much. And it seemed to Kairi that after Sora had been taken out of the world, all light had died with him.

And so Kairi found herself screaming for unicorn man’s fate—she couldn’t believe it!—just as Jack and Gibbs had decided to try and help Carina, instead of trying to save the sinking Pearl at the moment.

“Carina, no! Stop! Please stop! I don’t- I don’t want this amount of bloodshed, and neither should anyone!” Kairi wailed.

Carina listened to what Kairi had said and stopped—and she wore a look on her face there, as if she couldn’t believe what she’d been about to do, either—and fortunately, Unicorn Man didn’t use Carina’s distractedness as a way to defeat her. Instead, he began to make the barrier dissipate as he bowed to her. “You’ve done well, Princess Kairi. The Master will be most pleased. I’m Ira, by the way.”

But not caring about any of that in the slightest, Kairi found herself leaping into the air so she could get to Carina faster now that she was able to go in that direction… but just as she was, someone was diving down and reaching for Carina, too… and the idiots they were, they couldn’t change their trajectory in time and ended up hitting each other instead of getting to Carina.

And feeling a concussion coming on, as she smashed back down onto the deck—but saw him getting up much easier, and already fixing the sinking boat with his own magic—Kairi couldn’t help feeling irritated with the figure.

“Riku, why are you here?!” she snarled. “Did you not trust me by myself here? I swear I’m fine! You may be messing up our chance to find Sora this way… if he’s sending me to places for me and just me.”

And Kairi felt awful after those words had left her mouth—of course she did; and she thought that if that Ira had still been here, he wouldn’t be giving her his blessing anymore—but she also couldn’t deny it was true. But how horrible had she become, to always be hurting Riku like this (she could see it in his eyes), whilst he only built her up these days?

“Kairi-” Riku began, as he helped Henry get Carina to her feet… and now everyone was staring at her. Great.

Kairi bit her lip, and again resisted the urge to cry… or to punch Riku in the arm like she had used to.

“Kairi, I swear I didn’t come here to spy on you. Master Yen Sid said that he sensed a certain power, and I-”

Except that Kairi didn’t believe him. How could she, when she’d been being babysat since everything had started when she was fourteen? the only time they hadn’t babysat her was during the Keyblade War, but maybe they should have. Maybe if they had then, Sora wouldn’t be- he wouldn’t be.

Now, Kairi had thought she’d gotten better and stronger this past year… but now it was apparent that Riku (and perhaps others?) were scared of her darkness. And so, it was back to being babysat again.

She also honestly felt like he was here to steal her spotlight, like always.

And with the strong array of emotions she’d felt since coming here, Kairi was done with it. She was done with everything.

So, before anyone could say anything more to her, or judge her, Kairi leapt into the air and began gliding away… to some island a ways away from them all. And she heard Riku calling her name as she did so, and Jack saying how she’d suspected that Sora would go for a nicer girl… and now she did let all of her emotions out.

…

On the island—that housed rum for some reason; and how Kairi was tempted to try drinking some now, to drown all her sorrows—Kairi fought back the urge to destroy the White Mushrooms around her, like she’d thought about doing before… since for whatever reason, there just happened to be some on this island who were dancing around her and asking for magic.

She probably would have slaughtered them in her fury, if she wasn’t trying to find her old self again, since everyone apparently hated who she was now… and maybe they were right for it.

“Sora,” Kairi spoke to her boyfriend now, as she clasped her hands together and raised her head towards the sky—hating herself for this, too, because why was she acting like Sora was in heaven? She was going to find him before he got there. She was!—“Part of me wonders why I’m bothering with all of this. I’m so different now… maybe you wouldn’t love me anymore. Not that I only want you back so you can love me. I want you back even if you hate me… but I wish I knew how you’d feel about this, even if I don’t think I’d change who I am now… even if you asked.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Kairi thought she could see some ghostly image of Sora nodding his head and smiling at her… thought she knew it was all in her head. But it still made her feel better, so she got off from the log she’d been sitting on and flew back to where the Pearl was.

Well, the Black Pearl wasn’t exactly where it had been—how glad Kairi was, that ships were slow compared to some of the vehicles she’d seen in other worlds now. And when she got there, she saw Barbossa standing beside Jack and among everyone else?! That’s who Kairi assumed it was, anyway, based on Sora’s descriptions of everyone in this world (had she mentioned that this was Sora’s favorite world that he’d been to?)

Kairi landed down in the ship and summoned her Keyblade. She may have been above fighting innocents now, but she also wasn’t going to suffer a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Kairi knew that Sora had said Barbossa had changed for the better the last time he’d been here, but she also didn’t want to risk it.

“It’s okay, Kairi. We’ve got it figured out,” Riku said, as he came up to Kairi and slung an arm over her shoulder. And she appreciated that he wasn’t telling her to dismiss her Keyblade…

"Missy, I'm her' because I promised Salazar Sparra's head. But given that it's still on his shoulders, that there must mean I'm helpin' him with a plan to keep it there, don't it? So, I would quiet yer suspicions if you really want to find the Trident of Poseidon."

Kairi sighed when she’d heard this Barbossa’s explanation of things, but for once it wasn't an aggravated sigh. This captain had rightly pointed out she was too trigger-happy lately, and so she'd calm down.

And Pip, seeming to sense Kairi's resolution, climbed up her arm and patted her shoulder, too, before he went beneath her hair again.

Kairi would have liked to talk to Captain Barbossa more—to try and get them through this little hurtle, as she wished she could have talked to many people on her last adventures. Because maybe that could have helped solve a lot of issues—but before she could, the water below her was literally being ripped in half (so that Kairi was thrown to the other side of the Pearl, as it tried to be torn apart itself… again).

And as it happened, Kairi could see that Barbossa’s eyes were all for Carina. And she had a lot of suspicions there… but she didn’t have time to deal with that right now.

“Kairi!” Riku yelled her name, as she began falling back into the ocean as a part of the ship finally completely broke off and began tipping over. But she refused to be saved by him—or to ever need rescuing again—so she stuck her Keyblade into the part of the boat that was still active and pulled herself back up. And she fell into Riku’s arms as she made her way back towards her friends… but this time, she didn’t care. She’d managed to help herself… and it felt good to be appreciated like this.

But Kairi couldn’t dwell on maybe having fixed her relationship with Riku for too long. Captain Jack and Barbossa had managed to get what was left of the Pearl to a nearby island, and Henry and Carina were getting off there and jumping into the opened-up ocean beneath them, and Kairi meant to do the same.

And before she knew it, she was in that area—with Riku once again shouting her name, as he followed after her—for she had used a variation of Sora’s “quick run” in order to get where she was faster. But though Sora had moved in circles in order to do that, Kairi mostly moved in a straight line… and Riku seemed to be copying Kairi to try and do the same thing. Kairi would have laughed at all of this, if things hadn’t been so sad lately.

Once they were on the ocean floor, Riku asked her the million munny question. “Kairi, what are we doing here?”

Kairi didn’t answer at first. And she could tell by his hurt face, that he at first thought she was doing it out of spite. But as she let Pip climb out onto her arm, she swiftly showed him that wasn’t the case. “Riku, meet my friend Pip. Pip, Riku.”

“Nice to meet you!” Pip exclaimed, as Kairi saw him get into Riku’s face so he could see him better. “Make sure our girl here keeps a good head on her shoulders, okay?”

“…Right,” Riku answered. “Nice to meet you.” And while Riku seemed to do better meeting Pip then Sora had always thought he would with his friends Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet—and whoever else—Kairi could tell he still wasn’t thrilled. And here she did laugh… because that was Riku for you. And she was so glad to have him after losing Sora. She was.

“To answer your question, Riku,” Kairi responded, as she began running after Carina and Henry now—since something seemed to be going on up ahead—“we’re trying to find this Trident that has powers over all sea curses… and I’m wondering if it’ll save Sora, since he gave his life for me. And my name means that.”

While Riku began running with her, Kairi tried to gauge his reaction to her words. How did he feel about Sora having died for her and not him or any of the others? Kairi didn’t know the answer to that… and she selfishly didn’t know if she wanted to. Whatever the answer, it would probably make her hate herself more.

But Riku didn’t really react to her words in the slightest. He simply clenched his fist and muttered, “Let’s go get it, then.” And suddenly he was taking off faster than even she had been.

And up ahead… Kairi saw Salazar—how had he gotten here so fast?! Carina had just figured this all out! Was it because he was a ghost and could teleport?—had seemed to possess Henry and had the Trident, and was attacking Carina with it!

And Kairi understood why Salazar would do this… he knew that if Kairi’s friends got ahold of the Trident, he would be destroyed… so now he was trying to show Carina that if she wanted that weapon, she’d have to kill Henry to get it.

Captain Jack Sparrow darted past Riku and Kairi now, and was fighting against the possessed Henry for his and Carina’s sake. And Kairi had never felt so moved by him.

“Let the boy go, Salazar,” Kairi could make out the captain saying with a calmness that belied the situation. “Your fight is with me… I destroyed you and your men years ago—gave you a fate worse than death, even—and mayhaps I apologize for that. But even so… fight me.”

And Salazar was battling Jack now…. while Carina seemed desperately to reach out to Henry’s heart. “Henry, I know you’re in there…” she cried, while trying to get in edgewise, so she could try and grab the Trident from “him” while Salazar was preoccupied with his number one enemy. “Think of all we shared, and fight back!” Carina pleaded.

“Kairi,” Riku said now, as he spun her away from the scene before her, so she could focus on the matter at hand. “Maybe you should do the same that she’s doing… if you sensed that Sora might be here—and you know how Yen Sid and I think he’s trying to go to worlds you might be in. So, if you came here, he might be—then try contacting him, too.”

And Kairi would’ve—perhaps again becoming the girl who used to try and use light and do support from the side—if she hadn’t just then heard a voice she now somehow knew so well, whispering behind her ear.

“Really, Kairi? Really? You’re so easily going to go back to the delicate girl you were before your beau sacrificed himself for you? I’m disappointed.”

“Leave her alone!” Riku stepped in between the Master of Masters and Kairi, probably so she could continue to try and reach Sora, she thought. “She’s not going to fall into your plan! She’s not going to-”

And Kairi wasn’t going to do that. She was sick of her friends and herself following the Organization’s plan!

So she decided to just completely ignore the Master of Masters for the time being, and instead went to help Jack and Carina against Henry. “I think you were getting through to him, Carina,” Kairi said, as she gave the other girl a one-armed hug before jumping into the fray. “Keep at it… and I’m sure things will work out. But at the same time… you’re a smart girl. If you want to use your head and work something else out, I believe in you there, too.”

“I wouldn’t believe in anything you say, little girl, since I bested you earlier.” And before Kairi could say anything to that—or try to parry his incoming strike—she was stabbed through the stomach by Salazar. (And was Kairi imagining it… or was Riku trying to teleport to her side now, while the Master said an exasperated “Wow”?)

But she’d become too strong to be “bested” so easily… as she was still impaled on the sword, Kairi grabbed a hold of the butt of it and used it as leverage to throw Salazar—who was still holding onto it—hard to the ground. She then did a quick curaza spell to fix the damage. But she still didn’t feel one hundred percent yet.

“Are you okay there, lass? I may have misjudged you,” Captain Jack asked, as he knelt down beside Kairi and put a hand over her wound.

“I don’t think so!” the Master of Masters bellowed towards Riku, as he froze him in place so he couldn’t get to Kairi? What? Did he think the help she was getting from Jack was more than she deserved? Kairi had before thought she didn’t hate anyone more, than those who kept her away from Sora, she now imagined that those who kept her from Riku were just as annoying.

“Hold on, Riku!” Kairi called his way. “I’ll give you a panacea, and-”

But Kairi lost her train of thought, when she saw Carina had again taken a page from her book. She’d jumped towards the possessed Henry, not even caring for the weapon that was in her way, and though it seemed to nearly slice her side to smithereens… but she was able to wrest the Trident out of Salazar’s hands with this motion, and she was using it instantly. “As the one who now has power over all the sea, I command you—gods and goddesses—to release all your curses!”

But perhaps the Trident in and of itself was a curse, because it turned into water… never to be seen again, Kairi presumed.

Then, the sea above them all began to close… and Kairi thought she might faint. She was too injured to make a Corridor of Light to get herself and her friends out of this. And though she supposed Riku could try and use a Corridor of Darkness again—if worst came to worse—she knew the ill effects that it would have on everyone.

And now the Master of Masters was laughing without humor. “I have no desire to have a watery grave. You all work this one out. And Kairi… continue to be strong. Otherwise, I’ll have reason to kill you! And who wants that?!” As soon as he’d said those words, the Master of Masters was gone… but amazingly, he’d let Riku out of the spell he cast on him before he did—maybe he had plans for him, too—and Riku noticed immediately what was happening and muttered a curse.

“We have to get out of here… now,” Kairi stated the obvious. She quickly healed Carina, and then went to Carina’s side to help her pick up an unconscious Henry. What she’d done with the Trident had freed him, so now Salazar was standing in front of everyone again in all of his hideous, undead—yet human—glory.

Captain Jack had just motioned for Gibbs—who was still in the ship above them—to send the anchor down, so they could all ride it to the surface… but now Salazar and his crew were trying to kill all of their enemies, so they couldn’t get to it first.

But there was no guarantee they’d even survive if they made it to the surface, since sooner or later they’d have to face the fate they’d missed out on long ago. And Kairi had to wonder what kind of desperation drove Salazar… was it what existed in her heart now?

And to try and get to her new friends and to save them before it was too late, Kairi warp-striked to try and get back on what was left of the Pearl, so she could then pull them up. And she could tell that Riku was doing the same thing, having been inspired by her to do so. And he was rescuing Jack and Henry before she could blink... Kairi, then, went to rescue Carina... but it was all over.

For just as she had gotten Carina to the surface, Salazar had grabbed ahold of Kairi and was ramming her into the water wall beside her, as the pathway began to close above her. "If it weren't for foolish people like you, no one would have to suffer!" he hisse.

Kairi wanted to argue that—because maybe she was becoming better again—but was unable to, with how much pain she was in and the water filling up in her mouth.

Kairi tried to get her Keyblade into a position where she could use it... but then she accidentally dropped it into the wave and was losing consciousness.

Above her, Kairi could hear Carina screaming for someone to save her... but then Carina starting to change her mind when it became clear that someone was going to have to sacrifice themselves to fulfill her wish.

"What am I to you?!" Carina cried. And Kairi heard the voice of Barbosa answer "Treasure", before he willingly fell on Salazar—and towards his death—to free her from his hold. And then Kairi felt Riku sharply tugging on her arms to bring her to safety, as she sobbed.

…

For the first time in what felt like ages to Kairi, she had chosen to be selfless and stay with her new friends for a few months—foregoing her search for Sora for that long—to help them deal with the aftermath of everything that had happened.

Captain Jack was the easiest. It seemed to Kairi that he was... just lonely, in seeing Will and Elizabeth—and Henry and Carina—together, even if he was secretly happy for them. And once Kairi learned that there was an "Angelica" in his past, she helped chart a path for him to find her on "Rum Runner Island"—the island that maybe she had unwittingly found?—since he still didn't have his magic compass back.

And Jack looked at Kairi with something like warmness in his eyes, when he chose to shake her hand. "Yer a good lass, Kairi. Don't let anyone tell ya different. And you go on and remember it yourself, savvy?"

"Savvy," Kairi replied, with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes--since she thought it was proven with Barbossa’s death (and perhaps Pintel and Ragetti’s before that. And- and Sora’s), that she wasn't very good at all.

And it was Mister Gibbs who seemed to notice Kairi was feeling this way. He told her not to feel too bad about Barbossa, since at least she’d tried to help everyone—unlike him, in his eyes. It seemed to Kairi that Gibbs hated his own inaction on this recent quest of his now. Something she could relate to—and since he thought Barbossa had been happy to give up his life for his daughter’s good spirits, anyway. Kairi didn’t have much to say to that, other than trying to put two-and-two together to try and figure out where the compass Jack had lost was at. He’d promised it to Gibbs, hadn’t she? Kairi swore to the man she’d figure it out and come back and get it to him. Someday.

After that, Kairi had gone with Henry, Carina, and Riku to meet Will and Elizabeth. And her heart soared for Henry and Elizabeth being reunited with father and husband respectively... but Kairi wished Sora could have been here, too, with the Trident having been destroyed… but he wasn’t. And Kairi could tell that Riku was just as upset about it.

For days, Kairi trained with Carina—to help her learn how to fight, as Carina now wanted to be a pirate—and while the other lady had informed Kairi that she didn't at all blame her for her father's death, she didn't seem to sense that Kairi thought people around her in general seemed to die, and didn't comfort her about it. But Kairi thought that it was more that Carina just didn’t know how to, since as a scholar… she seemed to spend most of her life in her own head. And that was fine. Kairi got it. Maybe she’d even been the same in the past, somewhat.

Henry, like Gibbs, was there for Kairi, however. One day, when she was jotting down some things she thought Destiny Islands did better in terms of sailing to help the people here, Henry interrupted her.

"You can't blame yourself, you know," he gently reprimanded her, as he laid a hand on her wrist. "I used to blame myself for my parents' situation... and told myself that if I hadn't been born, my mother could have freed my father from his terrible fate long ago, and not be trapped in a life she hated... But I also knew that my parents loved me, and that the lies we tell ourselves can be the deadliest. So you know that, too."

And it was after Henry told Kairi this, and she felt light return to her heart once more, that she finally decided to leave the Caribbean. She'd been dreaming of healing these people, but here they had done that for her.

"You know..." said Will, as Kairi was about to leave alongside Riku, with a knapsack over her shoulder. "Even though I was dying at the time, and it was hard to tell, Sora was very angry about what Davy Jones did to me... and even then, I assumed it was because he didn't want to be taken away from someone, like he didn't want me to have to be taken away from Elizabeth."

"And when Will went missing in searching for the Isla de Muerta, it was Sora, Donald, and Goofy that I trusted to help me find him, not Jack. And I suppose it could be because Sora reminded me of Will—of us—if he had someone like you waiting for him at home,” Elizabeth added on to her husband’s claims, as she winked at Kairi.

"Thank you," Kairi said shyly, before making the rash decision to hug the spouses. And though it clearly shocked them both, they swiftly hugged her back. They were parents, after all.

And to partly thank Will and Elizabeth for that and so much more, when Kairi just happened to see barnacles under their bed, she took them outside and burnt them... so the memory of this Davy Jones would hopefully leave them alone forever.

And it was when Kairi was outside on Elizabeth’s (and now her family’s) beautiful green island, that she found Riku sitting there as he let the wind dance over him.

Pip bound up to Kairi then, as it looked like he'd just been on the gummi ship with Riku, and he excitedly told her, "Kairi! What happened with the Trident seemed to give Riku a vision! He says Sora's in a world of... data?  Though apparently, it's not the Tron world or Datascape, whatever that means. Isn't that good news?!"

And trying to hide the fact that she was sad Riku had seen this and not her, too—because hadn't Riku and Master Yen Sid and Riku theorized Sora was trying to get to worlds she'd like?—Kairi sat down beside him and said, "Then I guess we should see if Cid can get our phones to search for worlds with data."

#mine #my work #Shanna writes #my writing #swallow #kairi #sokai #kh #kingdom hearts #swallow chapter 4 #swallow chapter four #chapter four #chapter 4 #long post

[artificialqueens]

First Bad Habit (Ravja) - Chardonnay

A/N: Saw a request for a fic based on Raven’s interview for HeyQween where she mentions Raja calling her ‘hot’, and thought i’d give it a shot. Set pre-RPDR when Raja used to work on America’s Next Top Model. Please be kind it’s my first time!

David was bored out of his mind as he stood behind the Mac counter where he worked in Montclair, waiting for the head manager to get back from lunch so he could finally tell them he was leaving. He leaned on the counter with his head in his hands, looking at the clock. They were extremely slow that day, so David was left alone to think about how he was going to do it. Should he just keep it short and direct? They were going to look at him like he was nuts if he told them the real reason he was quitting was to focus on his career as a drag queen. Or maybe he should make a big scene about it, leave like a true diva.

It’s not that David hated his job, he loved getting to play with the makeup and sharing his expertise with those who weren’t blessed with his superior skills, but he was growing tired of the limitations it put on his artistic creativity. People always asked for the same damn thing. He swore eventually everyone would just look like a clone of the person next to them, and it was becoming monotonous. He’d been dabbling in drag for the past 5 or so years, and it was the most exciting and freeing part of his life. He was good at it too, (at least in his own opinion) and after watching and befriending other queens who had been in the game a long time, David knew this is what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

His daydreams of living the life of a full-time drag queen were interrupted when he heard his phone ring in his pocket. Usually he would never answer it on the clock, but he was quitting today anyways and there were next to no customers, so what the hell? What are they gonna do? Fire him?

David flipped open the phone, hoping it was someone who could relieve his boredom. It turned out to be Sutan, better known as Raja, another queen who he had become pretty close with over the last few years of working in the same bars. As he answered the phone, David thought about the days before drag when he used to go drink at the local bars and watch the queens perform. Raja had always been his favorite to watch, he was always so captivated and impressed by her. Even years later, at times it was still surreal that now they were friends who hung out and just casually called each other.

“So I have a question for you”, Sutan started.

“Okay…” David knew Sutan pretty well by now and his “questions” were sometimes a bit outlandish and outrageous.

“Are you available 2 weeks from now?”

David raised his eyebrows, “Uh, actually I probably will be, I was right about to quit my job when you called”

“Really? Why?”

David noticed his boss had come back from lunch and was staring at him like he had three heads. She didn’t seem happy that David was just casually chatting on his phone in the middle of his shift, but he didn’t care.

“Oh you know, I just get bored. This place is so slow, I need a change and I kinda just want to focus on drag more…”

“Well good news then!” Sutan replied. “You know how I’ve been working on the set of Top Model? Well they’re looking for male models for an upcoming shoot-“

“Girl, you know I am not a male model.”

“No no I know that, but they’re looking for drag queens who are also good looking guys, you know how it is in Hollywood.”

David smiled into the phone. “So you called me?”

“Uhh yeah…I’m on the phone with you aren’t I?”

“You think I’m hot as a guy?” he prodded, a grin spreading across his face.

“Oh my god, is that really what you’re focussing on here?” Sutan laughed “I’m offering you a job!”

“Mmm okay, avoiding the subject” David smirked. His manager looked like an angry cartoon character, like steam would come out of her ears at any moment. “Yes, I am available.”

“Great! I’ll call you again closer to the shoot and give you all the details, maybe we can have lunch or something next week?”

“Yeah that would be nice” David said, “I gotta go, my manager looks like she’s gonna kill me”

“Good luck quitting!”

“Thanks” David hung up the phone. At least now he knew how he was going to quit. He walked over to his manager who was about to start yelling and lecturing about being distracted on the job, but before she could even get a word out David cut her off. “Oops so sorry about that” he said sarcastically as he handed her his makeup belt, “I just booked a gig on America’s Next Top Model so…I quit.” He smiled as he sauntered out of the store and never looked back.

………………………………………………………………………………………

2 weeks later David walked on to the set where they filmed Top Model. He didn’t have much experience working on professional filming sets so he was a bit nervous, but as soon as he spotted Rhea and Raja who waved him over he relaxed. David didn’t want to show his nerves, he wanted to come across as cool, confident and professional. But he also couldn’t stop thinking about Raja’s comment a couple weeks ago about finding David hot, he hadn’t really stopped thinking about it since. David obviously knew he was an attractive guy, he’s not an idiot, but for some reason hearing it from Sutan was different. Sutan was absolutely beautiful, both in and out of drag. He was probably the most beautiful person David had ever met in his life, and he lived in West Hollywood where everyone is pretty! But there was something so alluring about Sutan. David had been such a fan of Raja for a long time, so the prospect of Sutan finding him hot enough to call him, out of all the queens he must know, was sending David for a loop. He could’ve called anyone!? David quickly snapped out of it when he heard Sutan’s voice.

“Hey Rave! You made it without getting lost!”

David rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who’s bad with directions bitch, not me.”

Sutan smiled, he had the most magnetic smile. “Whatever, I’m just glad you’re here,” he looked at them both, “The director will explain to you guys what he wants from you. I’m mostly just going to be back here painting the girls, but I told the producers that you guys will probably want to paint yourselves-”

“Yes, thank God!” David teased “because I am so not letting you anywhere near my face”

“Bitch you would be so lucky to be painted by me” Raja feigned offense as they both giggled.

The rest of the models arrived on set and David began his drastic transformation into Raven. He took his time making sure every detail was perfect. This was the first time Raven was going to be on national television so she had to look nothing less than flawless. Every so often David would pause and look in the mirror to find Sutan who was busy working away. It was fascinating to watch him work, so concentrated and beautiful like a Greek statue, but David had to remind himself to focus on the task at hand.

Once she had finally finished her makeup Raven felt her nerves dissipate and the confidence and fierceness of her drag persona coming through. The stylists were deciding who would wear which outfit and which queen was paired with which model. Sutan walked over to help,

“Oh Raven would look really fantastic in a business jacket and skirt, yeah that one! And she looks great in these blunt banged wigs and big curly hair too.” Raven smiled softly at the compliment and couldn’t help noticing Sutan’s eyes all over her and how overly touchy he was being. “Stop, he’s just doing his job”she thought to herself.

The shoot was great and even though Raven didn’t have a ton of formal modelling experience, she took direction from the photographer and felt fierce as fuck. The photographers and producers praised her natural beauty and poise, and everything seemed to go extremely well. After they wrapped Raven went over to her makeup station and started to de-drag back into David. Sutan came up behind her in the mirror and smiled.

“You did so good,” he gushed. “Tyra actually came up and asked me about you. She was super impressed and said you were absolutely stunning.”

“Really?” Raven wasn’t one to make a big deal over random compliments, but being noticed by Tyra Banks was a pretty big deal.

“Yes! Are you kidding me? You looked so fucking good in front of that camera.” Sutan playfully pushed her shoulder and locked eyes with her in the mirror. His fingers lingered as they ran down Raven’s back over her exposed tattoo, making her shiver. “You’re a natural.”

Sutan seemed to pause for a second before he continued, “Hey me and Rhea are going for drinks after, you wanna come?”

Raven was still focussed on Sutan’s fingers running down her back. “Sure, once I get all this shit off my face” she tried her best to sound casual.

Sutan smiled, “cool I’ll come grab you before we leave.”

……………………………………………………………………………………

David and Sutan sat at the bar with Rhea, the three of them chatting and laughing about work and drag. Sutan was telling the most ridiculous stories about things that had happened while he was on set and the insane models he’s had to work with. He was such an over-dramatic storyteller, actually just a dramatic person in general, but he always managed to make David laugh. Their conversations flowed so easily when they were together. They both held similar interests and loved to talk all the shit, so they were always laughing about something or someone. But tonight felt different. Maybe it was the ample amount of alcohol flowing through him, but he swore Sutan was being extremely touchy and flirty. Every so often he would grab David’s leg when they laughed or softly touch his arm or hold onto his hand to get his attention. They would tease each other back and forth as they usually did, but something in Sutan’s smile was different, it was mischievous and playful.

After a couple of hours, Rhea announced that he was heading out. David was actually enjoying getting to know Sutan’s drag daughter more, but he was also glad to have some time alone with his friend. After saying their goodbyes, Sutan turned to David, both of them already tipsy.

“I think you owe me another drink, considering I got you a job and all” he said as he glanced down at their empty glasses.

“Oh I owe you huh?” David quipped as Sutan smiled that playful smile. “I didn’t realize this job came with a price tag.”

“Well I mean I was nice enough to call you and give you an excuse to quit your job. I think it’s the least you could do…” he reached for David’s forearm and began tracing circles on the top of his wrist. “I think a drink is a good place to start, don’t you?”

David watched Sutan’s touch, the buzz from the alcohol making it feel all the more sensual. David took a deep breath, determined to keep his cool “Okay fine”, he said finally “what are we drinking?”

“Mmm, let’s have another whisky”, Sutan’s hand never leaving David’s arm, “unless you want a shot of tequila?”

“Oh bitch no. Not unless you want me climbing all over this bar.”

“Maybe I do?” Sutan said as he gave David’s wrist a small squeeze, “sounds like a good time to me.”

David rolled his eyes and shook his head in amusement before ordering another round of Jack on the rocks. Tequila did make him crazy and wild, but whisky also made him horny as hell. As they sat and drank another couple rounds, chatting and laughing, David was really starting to feel the alcohol and Sutan was getting even more grabby and flirty. There was no mistaking it now, from the way Sutan was constantly touching and inching closer and closer, their bodies so close David could smell the mix of weed and liquor and whatever intoxicating scent radiated from his skin, Sutan was definitely coming on to him.

David was feeling so many emotions all at once, also clouded by the alcohol he consumed. Most of all he was excited, Sutan was an extremely attractive guy who always seemed out of reach. Being such a socialite, David never would have thought Sutan would be interested in him like this. However he was also getting very possessive vibes from his friend. David had always considered himself a “top” and hadn’t bottomed for anyone in quite a while, but he was surprisingly enjoying Sutan’s attentions and the nervousness was making him feel a little submissive. This was so not like him. Usually David was the confident and flirty one, cracking jokes and teasing, but Sutan made him feel so different. Maybe it was just the nerves, but he had the sudden urge to follow Sutan anywhere and let him do whatever he wanted. I mean he did get David this job after all, it was the least he could do…

After finishing the last sip of his drink, Sutan decided he needed a cigarette so the two of them headed out back behind the bar. They had already been there for hours and it was getting late, but David had absolutely no desire to go home to Riverside. They made their way towards the back door, and Sutan nonchalantly reached back to grab David’s hand as they moved through the crowd of people. Once outside, they both lit a cigarette and continued their inebriated small talk. David felt the sexual charge between them, so palpable he could almost see it. He tried to break some of the tension by poking fun at their conversation from a couple weeks ago.

“So you never answered my question that day that you called me.” David said before taking another drag of his cigarette.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you thought I was hot as a guy, because you called me when you said you needed hot guys, but then you avoided the question.”

Sutan rolled his eyes and smirked “Please, you already know you’re hot. You own a mirror.”

“Well of course I do, but I just like to hear you say it…” David teased, laughing softly and finishing his cigarette.

Sutan wasn’t laughing. In fact for a moment he looked at David with such intensity it almost made him uncomfortable. Finally he broke his stare as he put out his own cigarette and responded in a low tone “Do you now?” He looked up with a small smile, straight into David’s eyes. “Well I can say it again if you want, but you have to ask nicely.” Sutan took a slow, small step towards David who felt his breath catch as he subconsciously took a step back. What was Sutan doing to him? Making him ask nicely? This commanding behaviour was unusual to David, but strangely he found it so sexy. He wasn’t sure if it was the whisky or Sutan’s words, probably a mixture of both, but he hadn’t felt this aroused by someone in a long time. He looked into Sutan’s dark and domineering eyes, and then at his mouth.

“Say it again” David murmured softly. The corner of Sutan’s mouth lifted into a smile as he cocked his head to one side, waiting. He took another small step towards David who felt his back hit the brick wall behind him.

“Please?”

David’s eyes lifted back to Sutan’s as he held his breath and waited for an answer, but instead Sutan took another step and closed the small distance between them. His hands pressed David’s biceps into the wall. His lips hovered over David’s, not quite touching. Eyes closed, he brushed their noses softly against each other and felt David exhale against his skin. Sutan’s right hand moved to hold David’s neck as his lips lightly trailed along the defined angle of David’s jaw and up to his ear. He could feel the quick, steady pulse of his heartbeat. “I think you’re so fucking hot” he breathed into David’s ear, lightly licking at his earlobe. David closed his eyes as he felt Sutan’s nose brush the side of his face before his lips moved back across David’s jaw. Both of his hands came up to frame either side of David’s face. Feeling the heavy breathing, Sutan smiled against David’s lips at the thought of already having him so worked up. Finally he closed the distance completely, forcefully pressing his lips into David’s while he held the sides of his face. Deep in his throat, Sutan hummed in appreciation. This was something he’d been dreaming of doing for a long time.

David opened his mouth just slightly and Sutan immediately took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. He was in complete control and David didn’t have any choice but to follow his lead. He softly moaned at the feeling of Sutan sucking on his bottom lip as his hands gripped onto Sutan’s leather jacket. This complete submission was new to him, but he actually liked the feeling of someone else taking control. Their kiss was very slow, both of them taking the opportunity to explore each other’s mouths for the first time, tasting each other’s tongues and the whisky they’d shared moments before. Sutan pressed their bodies further into the wall as he leaned down to place kisses along David’s jaw and neck. As his hand slipped down between them to press against the front of David’s jeans, the other queen gasped and finally pushed him away. Sutan opened his eyes, both of them breathing heavily from their indulgence.

Sutan looked at him, confused. “What? You don’t want to?”

“I do but, not here!” David said looking around to see if anyone was watching them.

Sutan smiled at his nervousness, unsure why David was so worried about privacy all of a sudden. “You wanna come back to my place?” David just looked at him and silently nodded, still catching his breath from their impromptu makeout session. Sutan reached up to trace his fingers over David’s swollen lips. “Okay, let’s call a cab”.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

The cab ride was short and filled with stolen touches, quick kisses and nips on the ear. Before they knew it they were standing in Sutan’s apartment, completely intoxicated from the alcohol and one another. David in his drunken state had managed to find the bathroom and prep himself sufficiently while Sutan patiently waited in the main room. David had been to Sutan’s place briefly a couple of times, but tonight he really took his time to absorb his surroundings. The apartment was warm and welcoming, little knickknacks covered every shelf and surface, each with their own story. Beautiful art covered the walls and blankets were strewn across the bed. David walked out towards the main room where he stood, drunk and gazing around the apartment, taking everything in. “I really love how you decorated this place…”

Sutan came from behind and wrapped both of his arms around his waist. Nuzzling into David, he began pressing feather-light kisses to his shoulder and neck. David tilted his head to the side slightly to give Sutan more access, and right away he started to suck on the skin just below David’s ear. His mouth dropped open and his eyes fell closed under Sutan’s touch, the feelings of sucking and licking and nipping at his neck amplified by the alcohol in his bloodstream. David buried his hand in Sutan’s soft hair and moaned when he felt the older queen press his hips into David from behind, feeling the evidence of their playful antics in his pants.

Sutan’s hands drifted under David’s shirt, tugging at the material in his way. Suddenly he took a step back and pulled David’s shirt over his head, immediately followed by his own. David turned around quickly, smiling in surprise and Sutan smiled playfully back before stepping forward and taking David’s head in his hands, kissing him desperately. Through his kiss, Sutan guided David back towards the edge of his bed to sit. He crawled over top of David who leaned back on his elbows without breaking the contact of their lips. Soon after he had David laying down and compliant, Sutan stood back up and gazed at the beautiful man in his bed.

“Take off your pants” he demanded.

David’s eyes widened for a moment as he was initially taken aback by the commanding tone in Sutan’s voice, but also extremely aroused. He obeyed Sutan’s demands and waited, completely naked on the bed, for his next instruction. “Lay back again.” David did as he was told while Sutan stood completely still in front of him, watching intently. “Now turn over” he instructed and once again David complied. He was now laying on his stomach, legs hanging over the edge of the bed and fully exposed to the air. David waited in anticipation for Sutan’s touch but it didn’t come. “Don’t move” was all he was told before hearing the sound of drawers opening and closing behind him, but he followed his instructions and stayed exactly where he was.

David closed his eyes in anticipation. He was thankful he was still a bit drunk from the whisky at the bar and the wine they drank when they got to the apartment because it was helping calm his nerves. David hadn’t bottomed in quite some time and usually didn’t enjoy it much, but something told him tonight would be an exception. He was already so horny and worked up from the wine and the touching, he was looking forward to whatever Sutan had planned for him. While he waited, David laid the side of his head down and thought about how ridiculous he must look just sprawled across the end of the bed like a submissive pet. Then why was the thought of it turning him on so much? David was so new to this, but he was shocked at how easy it was for him. For some reason with Sutan this seemed like a natural role to play. His submission was instinctive and actually pretty hot!

All of these thoughts raced through David’s head and he didn’t even notice Sutan had returned to his position behind him. Sutan got down on his knees and dropped the bottle of lube beside him as he reached out to run his hands over David’s ass. He wasted no time, spreading David apart and running his tongue across the opening. David cried out in surprise which quickly turned into a needy moan at the feeling of Sutan’s mouth on him. He gripped the bedsheets in his hands and groaned as Sutan’s tongue slipped in and out of his hole. “Sutan fuck! Don’t stop.” David couldn’t help but push his hips back against Sutan’s face as he continued his assault, his tongue licking all the way around the entrance and diving inside. Eventually Sutan pulled his face away to see the heavy breathing and look of pleasure on David’s face. He smiled softly, proud of himself for taming David in this way. He saw David open his eyes, searching for Sutan in the absence of his touch.

“What’s wrong babe?” he teased as his hands ran down the back of David’s thighs. “What do you want?” David couldn’t even form the words to tell Sutan what he wanted, but the look on his face said everything. Sutan stood and tilted his head. “You want me to keep going?” he asked as his left hand ran all the way from David’s hair down his back producing a shiver. David, with his head still laying down on the bed, closed his eyes and breathed a faint “yes”.

“What was that?” Sutan prodded, clearly enjoying the game they were playing. He bent down and began covering 2 of his fingers in lube.

“Yes!” David said louder. “Please-”

Sutan laughed at the desperation in David’s voice. He was so worked up and Sutan had barely even started. He hummed low in this throat at the sight in front of him, “Y’know I could get used to seeing you like this David, desperate and begging for me. It’s hot as fuck.” His left hand continued to caress David’s lower back, his fingertips slowly moving down towards his inner thighs. David let out a small whine as Sutan’s fingers danced painfully close to his cock, and then suddenly they were gone. Sutan leaned over David, ensuring he had a clear view of his face so he could watch every second of his reactions (it was always so exciting for him, fucking someone new). Finally Sutan relieved the building pressure and pressed his fingers inside David’s entrance, David cried loudly at the sensation he hadn’t experienced in years. Just like the last time, the initial pain melted into pleasure as Sutan continued to work his fingers inside him. David hissed as he rocked his hips back onto Sutan’s fingers, but he felt the pressure of Sutan’s other hand on his lower back, stilling his movements. Sutan leaned his weight onto David and silently instructed him to stay still. David relaxed and gave into Sutan, closing his eyes and letting him fuck David with his hand.

David’s moans continued to fill the room as Sutan’s fingers scissored inside him and rubbed against his prostate, but he was finding it more and more difficult to stay still. His moans became a whimper when Sutan abruptly pulled his fingers away. He felt Sutan’s hand in his hair and his mouth press a kiss to his jaw before murmuring low in his ear “go up on the bed”. David wasn’t sure if he could actually make his body work enough to comply, but he managed to push himself up on his hands and knees and crawl farther up the bed. Sutan took his own pants off and crawled up behind David who was waiting for him like a puppy, panting and on all fours. He reached out and touched David’s tanned skin again, wanting to go slow and enjoy him as much as he could. Sutan leaned forward and wrapped one hand around David’s neck as he pressed his cock into David’s backside, making both of them close their eyes and moan in unison. Sutan loved to tease, and he wanted to hear David beg one more time.

“Tell me what you want” Sutan breathed in his ear. His cock was growing harder as he rubbed it against David’s ass.

David was extremely horny but becoming impatient. “Bitch you know what I want” he snapped as he pushed his hips back.

The hand around David’s neck tightened ever so slightly making him gasp. “Tell me.” Sutan growled as he pushed forward into David again, not happy with his little outburst. When Sutan was in a dominant mood like this he needed complete submission, but he couldn’t deny that David’s smart mouth and momentary insolence turned him on.

“Fuck me” David whimpered softly

“Again.”

David hissed as he felt Sutan’s cock pressing against his entrance “ah Sutan, fuck me!” he begged. Both men cried out as Sutan finally pressed himself inside. All the teasing and building pressure released in that first stroke.

Sutan slowly worked himself all the way inside, groaning at the feeling of David around him. “God…you’re so tight babe” Sutan groaned as he leaned forward further, gripping his head board and pushing himself even deeper. He squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on not coming too quickly. Sutan heard David moan as he began to fuck him at a slow, steady pace, his own breathing laboured. David moaned Sutan’s name as he felt himself being stretched just past the point of pain, but that pain was overtaken by the immense pleasure.

They continued this way for a while, moaning and gasping as Sutan’s steady thrusts increased in speed. Sutan’s hand reached down to wind into David’s hair, and he closed his eyes and smiled as he relished in the feeling of his cock inside his friend. He’d thought about David like this since the day they met, never expecting to get the chance to act on his fantasies, and definitely not expecting it to exceed his expectations. He couldn’t believe how good David felt, and in this moment he knew this wasn’t just going to be a one-time thing. He didn’t realize he’d slowed down his thrusts until he heard David call out his name.

“Sutan! God Sutan don’t stop” David moaned as he bucked his hips back against him.

Sutan snapped back to reality. He pushed down on David’s back and forced his upper body down into the mattress as he mounted further on top of him. “You want more? Say it.”

David noted that this seemed to be a common theme and he willingly played along. “More Sutan” David whined for him “Harder.”

Sutan smirked and obliged. With both hands on the headboard, the new angle above allowed him to push deeper inside. Sutan’s hips worked overtime as he fucked David fast and hard, and he enjoyed all the little sounds and curses escaping from David’s mouth too. Sutan groaned, he could feel himself getting close so he reached underneath them to find David’s erection, throbbing in his hand. He stroked David in time with his own thrusts making him cry in pleasure.

As Sutan felt himself get closer he leaned down and kissed and nipped at David’s ear, groaning in his deep, throaty voice “Come for me David.”

As if he was waiting for permission, David cried out and released himself into Sutan’s hand that continued to stroke him through his orgasm. Feeling David’s walls clench even tighter around him was Sutan’s undoing as he finally allowed himself to come inside David with a low groan, filling him. The two of them rode out the waves of pleasure before collapsing on the bed together.

They laid together in complete exhaustion, and for a moment David wondered if he should leave or not. Sutan seemed to sense his uneasiness as he reached out to push David’s hair off his sweat-covered forehead. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Do you want me to leave?” David asked hesitantly

“Leave?” Sutan almost looked offended. “Where are you gonna go at this time of night? Plus you’re fucking wasted!”

“I’m not wast-“

“You can stay the night David, its fine.” Sutan reassured him.

“Are you sure?” David was still hesitant, he didn’t want things to get weird between them.

“Yes! I’m sure. If you leave I won’t have anybody to cuddle with, and everyone knows that’s like the…..third best part of having sex!” David didn’t ask what the first two were. He was still a bit shocked at Sutan’s complete personality switch from dominant and controlling to now wanting to cuddle. But he didn’t complain, instead he laid his head down on Sutan’s chest and focused on the rising and falling of his chest and his slowing heartbeat, eventually drifting off as Sutan caressed his back.

They’d have a lot to figure out tomorrow.

#rpdr fanfiction #raven #raja gemini #raja x raven #smut #first time #chardonnay #canon compliant

[toloveawarlord]

Etched in Blood (Ch.1)

Ch. 1

Pairing: Sophia x Fenrir

              Arriving at the Black Army Headquarters much later than the time designated on the letter, Sophia approached the front gate. This wasn’t a job she truly wanted. The only reason she came to speak to the officers was because of the pressure from her coworkers. This didn’t happen every day, a job in the army. Her intentions were set on turning them down, if they would even consider her for being three hours late.

              The soldiers at the gate gave her vague directions to the office, whispering to each other as she walked on. Sophia wandered the first floor, growing more irritated with every step that she took. For an army base, the lack of soldiers in the hallways concerned her. Besides the two at the front gate, easily taken out, an enemy could slip right in unimpeded.

              A wonderful array of smells came from her right. Following it, she found one officer in the kitchen, preparing a large amount of food. He grumbled under his breath, his voice light despite his clear disliking of the task. “There isn’t much reason for a party when Ray keeps turning them away.”

              Ray, the King of Spades. Now that name she knew. The other officers were none of her concern, but that King’s name had been flittering around in her circle of acquaintances. “A party? This is the army, not a playground.” The rumors of the blacks being much more relaxed must have merit.

              The officer turned to her, arm raising to grip the large sword on his back. Amber eyes scanned her figure, and the tension left his body. “You’re one of the doctors?”

              “The medical bag gave it away, did it?” she asked, leaning against the doorframe, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her black jacket. Her bag strap crossed her chest, the large duffle resting on her hip.

              “Are you lost?”

              Sophia nodded once. “Some soldiers at the gate gave some poor directions. It’s a good thing they aren’t doctors. They would mistake the kidney for the liver with their memory.” A poor attempt at a joke, or a jab at the army’s choice in soldiers. Her intent was unclear.

              Turning the burner down, the officer abandoned his cooking to escort her up to the office. The commotion inside could be heard as they climbed the stairs. “I really need this job!” Through the open doorway, a doctor stood in front of the large desk where the King and Queen of Spades were both wearing matching expressions of disapproval.

              “I’m the best Cradle has to offer!” He nearly shouted, hands slamming down onto the desk.

              “If you’re the best Cradle has to offer, we might as well all say our prayers now,” Sophia interjected, gaining all the attention. She knew this man, Devin Sawyer. The two had a ragged history drenched in mutual hatred.

              Devin’s head whipped around fast enough to cause whiplash. “What are you doing here?” He asked through clenched teeth.

              Sophia lifted her shoulders in fake innocence. “Same as you, I suppose.”

              “We reached out to several doctors in Central Quarter to find the best fit,” The Queen of Spades said with as much politeness as he could muster.

              A low growl left Devin’s lips, his gaze falling back to the King. “She’s from Red Territory! I’m sure that wasn’t in her little file or whatever, but she is! Doesn’t that make her your enemy?” He couldn’t stand Sophia or the clinic she worked at. They worked on opposite sides of town, but he blamed her for stealing his business.

              “I’ll ask you once more to excuse yourself,” Ray spoke up, his green eyes betraying the light tone of his voice.

              Devin huffed, jerking his medical bag off the floor. “You’ll regret this, Sophia,” He hissed, stomping off down the hallway.

              Silence hung over the office until the footsteps could no longer be heard. Removing herself from the entrance to office, Sophia took the empty chair that had carefully been placed in front of the desk for the interviews. “I’m not going to tell you how to do your job, but Devin is not cut out for being a doctor, much less an army one.”

              “Sophia Emerson, I presume? You’re the only one who didn’t show up at the agreed upon time,” Ray started, the same disapproving gaze that he had given Devin.

              She dropped her bag onto the floor with a thud and leaned back in the chair. “I have patients to attend to, and they don’t run on your schedule. Besides, I wouldn’t say agreed upon when I had no say on the time,” Sophia replied. The quicker this interview went, the better. There had surely been candidates who fit their standards more than her, at least in the personality department. Her skills as a doctor could hardly be matched.

              “Why don’t we start with introducing ourselves?” The Queen interjected. “This is Ray Blackwell, the King of Spades, and my name is Sirius Oswald, the Queen of Spades. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Emerson—”

              “It’s Doctor Emerson,” Sophia cut him off, sending a sharp gaze his way. She crossed her knees and turned her attention to Ray. “Why did you send me an invitation? Devin might be a complete fool, but he was right about my background. I’m originally from Red Territory.” With that information alone, that should have disqualified her.

              “You aren’t the only one in our midst who is from the reds. Our Jack of Spades, Luka Clemence, who escorted you up here, is also from there,” Ray said, folding his hands. He had turned away all other applicants, finding none to be what he was looking for. “We don’t care about your background, as long as you can perform your duty well.”

              Sophia glanced back over her shoulder to find Luka still lingering in the doorway. “You’re the runaway, huh? I should have known from those eyes.” She had met Jonah on an occasion or two when he and her worst enemy was in town. “You haven’t given me a reason to want this job.”

              The two men exchanged a confused look before Sirius spoke again. “You came here not convinced if you would take the job if we offered it to you?” Neither could understand that.

              “I came because my co-workers hounded me about it for days. Agreeing to show up for this got them to shut up and get back to work. I’m not convinced that leaving the clinic for this is worth it,” Sophia said. The most important thing for her was helping her patients.

              Ray rose from his chair, intrigued by the woman. Of all the doctors he had seen today, none of them had been honest in their intentions. They either wanted money or status. It wasn’t an easy job, being in the army, and Ray intended to surround himself with officers that he could trust.

              Before he could speak, a soldier came running into the office. “King Ray! There’s been an accident during training and the temporary doctor is out on business!” He panted from the sprint up to the office. “Fenrir sent me to see if anyone was still here for interviews.”

              Sophia grabbed her bag, not waiting for any permission. “Injuries?” It was against everything she believed in to leave anyone untreated. The soldier bobbed his head in response, not understanding that she was asking for details. “What are the injuries?” It was much harder to get things done in an environment that wasn’t a medical one.

              “During training, a fight got out of hand and Nolan’s foot twisted really bad. We think it might be broken—”

              The crowd of men gathered around the one laying on the ground spread to allow the two passage. Nolan groaned, holding onto his knee. “I can’t feel my foot. Shit!” Strings of curse words left his lips.

              “Don’t be such a baby!” Another soldier called, laughing lightly.

              Sophia knelt beside him, sending a sharp glare at the man who had called out. He shrank back, falling silent. She pulled at the strings of the boot and began to carefully tug off the boot. Nolan groaned, gritting his teeth. Pressing two fingers against the artery on top of his foot, Sophia scanned the crooked extremity. “I need to straighten it, and it’s gonna hurt like hell.”

              “A doctor that gives it straight. That’s rare,” Nolan breathed out, nodding his head, nonetheless.  

              “You aren’t going to give him anything for the pain?” Someone asked from behind her.

              Focusing on the job in front of her, Sophia answered, “If blood flow isn’t returned soon, then it will have to be amputated. I prefer to give my patients the best chance at recovery.” She slid on a pair of gloves. Being watched by a crowd used to bother her, but she had grown to accept that curiosity got the better of onlookers, even though sometimes they regretted it after the procedure. “Tell me something. Are you married?”

              “Are you asking because you’re interested, doc?” Nolan retorted, his chest heaving with each breath. The adrenaline would keep a lot of the pain away, but not this part.

              Sophia gave a breathy laugh and placed her hands in the correct spots. “Military men aren’t really my type.”

              “Got any frien—” His question cut sharply, replaced by a loud cry of pain. The sickening crack of the bone being relocated radiated through the sea of soldiers, quieting everyone, save for Nolan’s pained moans.

              Patting his knee, Sophia raised an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t that better?”

              Nolan lifted his head from the ground. “Actually, yes.” He wiggled his toes, watching in awe. It wouldn’t have been ideal for him to lose the foot from a training fight.

              “Good. Don’t put any weight on it. It’s most likely broken on both sides but setting it can be done in the infirmary.” Sophia’s pale blue eyes settled on the officer beside her, who had been waiting breathlessly to make sure his soldier was okay. “Take him inside. I can set it while I’m here.”

              With the help of his fellow recruits, Nolan was taken inside, and the crowd dispersed. Her spectacle had included both Ray and Sirius. “That was quite the impressive display,” Ray said. He hadn’t expected to have seen someone so capable. Her reputation preceded her, but this truly proved it.

              “I’m just doing my job. I took an oath, as a doctor, and I intend to always do everything in my power to save a life,” Sophia answered, stripping her gloves off. Surely, the infirmary was stocked with everything that she needed for a simple splint.

              “I want to formally offer the position of the 5 of Spades, our official doctor, to you, Sophia Emerson. I believe you to be a good fit for our army, and we would be very grateful if you would take the role,” Ray continued, extending his hand to her.

              Sophia stared at his outstretched hand. If she took it, that would be declaration of her intent to join the army. Her stance on violence aside, the army would draw attention to herself. Her brother surely would not approve of this when he found out. But, with the tension between the red and the black, this would be a good fit for her talents, should a war break out.

              Taking Ray’s hand, Sophia rose to her feet. “Then I’ll formally accept.”

              No matter the consequences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have another Ikerev OC!

#I should really stop making them #but I won't #I also have another kid fic in the works #and an ikesen warlord lady #so many projects #ikemen revolution #ikerev #ray blackwell #sirius oswald #luka clemence #seth hyde #fenrir godspeed #etched in blood #chapter 1

[brooklynislandgirl]

[Reitlin and Cathal] - ❤♡❥ღ💕💘💝💓💌💟💙💚💜💛

Heart Eyes || -Selectively- Accepting

❤: who is more affectionate in public? in private?

Her hands are gentle as she ties a token of favour around his upper arm, a ribbon that smells of sunshine and the flowers braided into her hair. No less sweet than the smile that graces her lips. Later she feeds him the choices bits by hand from her own trencher, much to the Prince’s displeasure. It’s bad enough that she keeps a mongrel as a retainer, he says, must she treat him like a pet as well?But after Cathal escorts her to her chambers, after the maids have gone, he uncurls from where he drowses by her door and slips into the firelit chamber.The first time was to run tuck her covers around her. The second time to run his fingers through her dark silken locks. The third time he merely intended to gaze down on her fondly but she stirred and he sat beside her whispered stories of the eld, what lay beyond the veil between worlds. It becomes a habit, these visits. Habit becomes need when she lifts the furs to invite him between them.“From wha’ Luka tells me of his faery tale… it was her in public an’ him in private.”

♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

She waves a hand for one of her maids to fetch her harp, and she sits in the centre of the hall, eyes closed and sings old songs in a lark’s sweet timbre; Lancelot and Guinevere, Tristan and Isolde. The Faery Queen. Her brother causes a stir when she opens smokey eyes and turns them on her champion before she sings the Song of Solomon. No one is sure what scandalises the gathered Court more.In her chambers, he pulls out a carefully wrapped stone jar and scrapes off the wax for her. Within is a thickly coated bit of honey comb. He offers her the carefully collected treasure knowing she cannot gather it herself, and tells her of a village he dreams about and a redheaded woman who sings to bees. 

“Lathah. Rinse. Repeat.”

❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine’s day?

She runs with the other maidens through the tall grasses, laughing as her hair streams out behind her beneath her crown of flowers. She has not been caught by the young men of the Court, too fleet of foot. Not even the Prince is swift enough. The longer she runs the less cultivated the grounds become until she’s in the King’s private woods. She knows every root and stone and bids them a welcome spring. Birds reply in kind, rabbits dart to and fro and even the sun is tender upon her.When she makes it to the small lough she’s finally brought up short. Her champion stands deep in the water, bared to the waist, his heavy arms lashing the last of the raft together. Upon it are waterproofed hides, a bottle of mead from the cellars, a loaf of bread, the last of winter’s fruits on silver trays. But these are not mortal delights… they come from his realm.She calls out his name in surprise, asks him what is it that he is doing.He grins and bids his May Queen welcome.

“How should I know?”

ღ: who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public?

He reaches for her hand to help her off her horse.He lays his cloak over muddy ground until he realises she wants to feel it between her toes, after-which he kneels and removes her slippers.He puts himself between her and the ambassador from Anjou who foolishly attempts to kiss her hand.He nearly stabs the Prince between his shoulders and a little to the left when he reaches out and yanks on one of her braids. That she kicks the Prince in the shin and takes off running and laughing through the halls is the only thing that keeps him from being hung as a traitor to the crown.

“I guess him?”💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people?

I don’t care, Cathal.  ~A foot is stamped.~Impassable. Ye be born for K’een… Ye be bound coming times…   

To some barbarian from across the sea. I have never even seen him. He is probably old. And fat. and covered with scars, smells of wine and sweat and…probably kicks puppies and would not know which end of the lamb to put to it’s mother’s teat.~He cups her face and presses his lips to her forehead.~Do not presume to talk me out of it.Please?“Uhm both of them?”

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

He’s convinced he loved her long before he saw her. She remembered the old ways. Left out offerings of milk and honey. The finest meats that had not seen the tongue of fire and bread fresh baked. Even in the dead of winter. She kept no iron in her chambers and whispered secrets to the moon’s halo. She celebrated the seasons and could barely sit still during Mass. The drone of the priests disturbed the natural harmony she held with nature, the Kindly Ones, and all the things in between, that left little room for her brother’s angels, demons, and Hell.

And when he saw her?He knew he was right.

“….uh, him, I t’ink.”

💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?

Let me see, Cathal!No.It can not be that bad!

He growls deep in his throat.~She brushes a kiss to his shoulder.~Her day of birth comes and passes over a span of three moons. Summer gives way to Lughnasadh before he finally gives her his gift. A braided leather bridle for her horse, woven through with silver and river stones.Oh, sweetest. It is beautiful!Aye.~His eyes never leave her.~

“Luka. He spends more time in his head than anywhere else.”

💓: who initiates most physical contact?

He promises never to hurt her. It is the sweetest lie.Catches her mouth with his and swallows down the sound she makes, her nails digging into his shoulders.He whispers that he’s sorry.She answers him with a bite.“Uhm. Ew.”

💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?

C-A- Go on.C-a-t…Cat hole. Cathal!~She smiles. There’s pride in her gaze as he traces the letters of his name. The first word he’s learned.~

Reiltin. How… ~his hand mimics the movements she made a moment ago.~

~She puts the quill between his fingers and sets the inked tip on the vellum. Covers his hand as best she can with her own, guiding each stroke.~R-E-

“Ya know. I don’ t’ink dey had phones back den. Inokea how smart da Celts were.”

💟: who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities?

That red one? That is Balor’s Eye. And that one with the spear in his hand? That is Lugh. And that thick band of stars? Ailil’s Crown, and Eiluned’s Mirror. Scathach’s Bow, and that is Danu’s Throne.~He snorts.~

What?

No’din’, love. No’din’

“If she was one witch, probably her.”

💙: who is more protective?

“Him. Nex’ question.”

💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

~His face is pale and he thinks she is dying. That much blood should not come from so small a person.~~And what isn’t coming out, rushes into her face and she curls up deeper into the furs of her bed, the braziers dragged closer to its edge for warmth.~I am…fine. It’s just… my moon times. It is the price we pay for being women.~He looks skeptical.~Wine, with honey, Sweetest. And the pain will pass. I promise.~Cathal is not so sure, but he does it anyway, hesitantly sitting near her, and rubbing slow circles in the small of her back.~

“She a Verbena like me. He some immortal wolf-fae-kine. Neiddah of dem.”

💜: who said “i love you” first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?

Say it again.I love you.Again.I love you.Again!

~He shakes his head and gestures at her encouragingly.~I love you, silly goose.

~He grins~ Again.

Beth shrugs and refuses to even look the question in the eye.

💛: who believes in soulmates?

“Ask Quot’e, she know every kine, an’ she ya bes’ frien’ an’ all.”Beth is SO done. The bitterness in her tone drips like acid and since she can’t exactly kick him out of the house, she gets up from the table. Glares at him for a solid six seconds.“But I’m sure ya too busy. Tell Baz I say howzit.”

#mahalo!Beez <33 #Wolf-Wyck|Cathal MacLugh #Howl at the Stars|Cathal and Reiltin #Once Upon A Time in Ireland|A Grim Faery Tale #whosxafraid

[yuniesan]

Girl Meets Season 6 - Episode Eleven – Girl Meets Fear for the Future

Synopsis: The Journey from High School and into College will test everything Riley knew about her life, her friendships and her love. What life lessons will she learn in her first year of college?  

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

A/N: IT’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

A/N: Sorry for not writing, a lot of things happened, including me getting a little depressed about not having any job prospects after graduating, someone I know was diagnosed with cancer, my mother is having surgery, and a million other things including writer's block and insomnia. Have you ever been so stressed out that no matter what you tried it felt like everything was going wrong? Well that was me for the last month. But I thought about it all and figured that, life will go on, and I just have to keep going with it.

So, part of this chapter is catharsis, the other is me filling in the gaps for you guys on the other couples, the majority of this is based on my own friendship with my best friend, who I love with all of my heart, and while we went to college together, I was involved in a million things and she pulled away. I usually send her messages through instagram/facebook messenger/text... etc... etc... Because friends who have known each other forever, can grow apart and find their way back to one another at the same time.

Episode Eleven – Girl Meets Fear for the Future

 There was a moment, just weeks before the end of the semester, where Maya had realized that she hadn’t seen Riley in weeks. She tried to think back to the last time she had seen her best friend and the only image that popped up was from some party that had felt like an eternity away. She was sitting in her dorm room putting the final touches on a piece of art that she had to hand in for the final in her drawing class. Smackle was at her desk typing away on her laptop, mumbling to herself every once and while about something that Maya would never understand. She knew better than to interrupt the genius while looking at some math thing that only Farkle would understand.

Maya and Smackle had become good friends over the last few months, they drove into the city together with Farkle all of the time. Maya usually went to see Josh, but the four of them had somehow found themselves doing double dates in the most unusual places. Smackle wanted to learn about normal non-genius couples, but Maya had learned that it also had to do with the fact that Smackle had wanted to have some fun without all of the work. It was rare for Smackle to do non-Smackle things, so with Maya planning everything the genius got the chance to try new things.

They did these things twice a month, just the four of them, and it had become normal for her to be in the city with her parents and Josh on weekends. But now that she thought back to the last few months the one thing she had always sworn that she wouldn’t do, happened without her even trying. She had been busy, college was a lot harder for her than she had expected, but she loved her classes and tried her best in them. She was the first in her family to go to college in the first place and it had made her mother so happy that Maya hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. But Riley was also family to her and she had barely seen the brunette in weeks.

“Hey Smackle,” Maya called out to the genius. “When was the last time we all hung out together, all six of us?”

Smackle didn’t answer her, still mumbling the problem to herself, Maya wanted to ask again but instead picked up her phone and walked out into the hallway. Everyone was studying or writing papers, since the end of the semester was near so she walked into the stairwell and closed the door, quickly dialing Josh. When he didn’t pick up she sighed and left him a quick message so that he would call her back.

She sat there for another fifteen minutes wondering about what her best friend had been doing the last few weeks, and how they had both let their friendship slip. She was lost in her thoughts when someone sat down next to her pushing her slightly with their shoulder. Turning to glare at the person intruding on her thoughts, she was greeted with a warm smile of her other childhood best friend.

“Hey there,” she said smiling at Farkle. “What brings you over here this time of day?”

“Smackle sent me a message, she said you needed someone to talk to,” he said with a smile. Maya hadn’t thought that Smackle had been listening at all, but the girl had ended up calling for reinforcements. “She would help you but our professor posted an impossible problem the other day, he swore no one could figure it out, so she’s been working on it trying to prove him wrong.”

“And why aren’t you working on it?”

“I’ll have my chance, I wasn’t interested in the problem right now,” Farkle gave her a small smile. “Plus, I want Smackle to shine.”

“You’ve got a soft spot for her if you’re giving something like this up.”

“Well she has my heart, all that matters is that we’re both happy” he smiled. “Now what’s bothering you that had Smackle worried enough to call me over here.”

Maya sighed and stared at the wall in front of them, “Farkle when was the last time we talked to Riley, or hung out with Lucas and Zay?”

Farkle gave her a small smile, it must have been something that had been weighing on his mind lately, “It’s been a while,” he said as he looked down at his hands.

“Do you think Riley’s noticed?” she asked wondering why her best friend hadn’t thought to check in with them. “I mean it’s weird right?”

“Well we all have different schedules, at this point different lives,” he said before looking up at her. “You and me, we hang out more now than we used to, I’m grateful for that because you’ve helped Smackle come out of her shell just a little more, she’s trying so many things because of that.”

“But it’s not the same,” she finished before he could say the worlds. “It feels like a phantom pain, we should have known it was missing but it feels like she’s still there.”

The two of them didn’t say another word, only sitting there in silence as the light outside faded into darkness. They both had things to do, but for some reason they weren’t rushing to go do them. Someone had been walking up the stairs when they had finally realized that they had been sitting there in silence for almost an hour. Maya was surprised to see Josh standing at the bottom of the staircase looking at the two gloomy friends.

“I figured I’d visit this weekend,” Josh said smiling at her, and she knew he was trying to cheer her up. “I listened to your voicemail, and figured that you needed some comfort.”

Josh sat in front of her, his back against the railing, as he took her hand in his and held it towards his heart. Maya’s mind was at war with itself, she couldn’t figure out if she was happy or sad, there were too many things going on and no answers. No Riley to pull her back from the darkest parts of her heart.

“What’s wrong,” Josh asked them when neither had said a word.

“We just realized that we haven’t seen Riley in a while,” Farkle answered for the both of them. “I guess we just miss her.”

“You’re afraid that you’re losing her,” Josh said a sad smile on his face. “I’m pretty sure that’s not the case considering she sends me weekly emails, I’m pretty sure she sends them to you too.���

“What emails?” Maya’s head shot up at her boyfriend’s words. “Riley knows I don’t check my emails, most of the time they get lost in a sea of spam and I just leave it alone.”

“Maya, you probably have a million emails from her, just search for her name and they should pop up,” he said smiling at her. Josh somehow always tried to make things a little better whenever she unsure of something.

“Have you check your emails,” she asked Farkle who shrugged.

“I don’t remember getting anything from Riley, but I think I’ve only used my school email because of all of the assignments we’ve had, so I should check them shouldn’t I,” he said before running his hand through his hair. “I’ve been a little busy.”

“Yeah I know, you’re trying to save the world, how about you start with Smackle and get her away from what she’s doing since she’s been mumbling to herself for a while now,” Maya said as her heart felt lighter for a moment. Then she realized that if Riley had been emailing her and she hadn’t replied then she had been the horrible friend.

“Don’t think that,” Josh said as if he had read her mind. “Farkle go check on your girlfriend, I’m going to talk to Maya for a while.”

“Will do,” Farkle said with a smile. “Don’t worry Maya, Riley will be there for us even if we’ve been too preoccupied.”

She nodded but it didn’t stop the feeling of dread in her stomach. “See you later,” she said trying to sound happy as he walked off.

“Seriously,” Josh said once Farkle was gone. “Don’t think too much about it, Riley knows you’re busy, she tells me all of the time,” Maya watched as he pulled out his phone, and opened the email app. “I know Maya gets too obsessed with her art projects, just make sure she has a little fun this weekend… She sometimes forgets things when she’s in her art haze, she’s going to be a famous artist, but she needs to remember the outside world,” he said smiling at her.

“I didn’t know I went through things like that,” she said feeling herself blush, it felt so out of character for her to even do that.

“She always sends me stuff like that, let me see,” he said as he opened another email. “She likes ring dings the most, so if you take her on that picnic make sure you pack some.”

“That’s true,” Maya said with a smile.

“Her favorite color isn’t red, no matter how much she tries to tell you otherwise, her favorite color is yellow, so get her the yellow dress.”

“Really Riley,” Maya said before burying her head in her hands. “How many more of these little tidbits does she have?”

“I have them all saved, because while I know you extremely well, I’m not Riley and she pays way more attention than most people.”

“She’s my best friend, I feel horrible for not seeing these, or even calling her.”

“Maya will try and tell you that she feels bad about doing something, but it’s not her fault, we’ve been busy and I realized that I can’t always take care of her, but she has you now, so I know she’s in good hands.”

Maya felt the tears fall down her face, Riley knew her better than anyone, she always knew what to say and it filled her heart with joy.

“She’s afraid of what the future will bring, but I will always be there for her,” Josh continued as Maya cried next to him. “She needs this time to grow, and when she’s ready she’ll come looking for me,” he finished as he pulled her into his arms. “She cares, kind of reminds me of my mom with how she knows everything.”

“Did she only write that about me?”

“No, she actually wrote things about my brother, and her mom, and Auggie, somethings about Ava too, she cares about everyone in her own way. I actually got an email one day that was twelve pages long. I think everyone else emails her back except for you, Smackle and Farkle, but she will always tell me things about all three of you for weekends we hang out together.”

“Maybe we can all get together after the last final,” she said smiling at him, the one person who had somehow filled her heart with happiness, while at the same time making sure to remind her that her best friend will always be there.

“I think that would be a good idea, but I also thing that you should read all of the emails she sent you before then, send her one too telling her everything that had happened in the last few months.”

“Art haze,” she said to herself for a moment. Thinking back, she remembered there being several projects that she had been working on. One of which had been a present for Riley’s birthday which was the same day as the end of the semester. “Who knew that there was such a thing?”

“Well you do get this glassy eyed look whenever you think up a new project,” he said smiling. “I like watching you draw, it’s like watching something amazing as it happens, I can’t describe it, but Riley is right about one thing, you’re going to do great things in the future.”

“I just can’t fear it,” she said smiling at him. “There’s something scary about being afraid for the future, even when there’s so many possibilities about there.”

“The best thing you can do is believe in yourself and you’ll get over that fear,” he said to her before standing up, pulling her up with him. “You’ll always be afraid of something, but as long as there are people around to help you, you’re always going to come out on top.”

He kissed her the moment he finished talking, running his hands through her tangled hair, it felt warm and sweet, and perfect in that moment. “Thank you,” she murmured when they separated.

“Well you’ve been helping me so much this semester, I figured I owed you a few helping moments.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she smiled at him, she knew this was the person who she would be with for all of her life, and it was weird to know something like that when she was just eighteen. “Come on let’s go save the geniuses.”

“What do you mean save them?” he asked as she pulled him along. Just as they reached her hallway, she hard Smackle scream out at Farkle before a pillow was thrown out of the room.

“Smackle, please you need to get some sleep,” Farkle said as Maya and Josh reached the door. “You will get the answer after a few hours, I promise.”

“No,” Smackle screamed out, Maya rushed over and started rubbing Smackle’s head, remembering how Mrs. Matthews had been during freshman year of high school. After a few minutes, Smackle had started mumbling to herself, and just as Maya passed her over to Farkle, the other girl had all but passed out in her boyfriend’s arms.

“See saving,” Maya said with a smile as she settled in her own bed with Josh next to her, pulling out two pairs of headphones so that they could watch a movie as the geniuses slept in the other bed.

#girl meets world #girl meets season 6 #maya hart #josh matthews #farkle minkus #isadora smackle #smarkle #joshaya #riley matthews #Riley's words

[kawsofhobi]

Lost Souls

|| Pairing: none ||

|| Genre: Angst // Gaming!au ||

|| Word count: 4,817 ||

|| Warnings: Stalkers and sketchy situations, nothing’s changed. Please take heed ||

[A/N]: Introductions to new people and the backstory to Sarah and the wasteland of Atlas. Not a lot of action in this one since it’s mainly a bunch of information, but the next part should make up for that. I hope you enjoy.

Part 1 || Part 2 

Since Jungkook had logged out, he’d been nervous to reopen the game once more. Having nearly lost his character within his first day of playing, he’d never felt more stressed playing a game than he did with Road 8. The fact that every character had one and only one life was much like how it was in the real world, that being a unique aspect to the game. He couldn’t help but find this characteristic to be slightly unfair, however. Taking precautions when playing any survival adventurous type of game was always a must; this one, however, heightened that aspect. One wrong move in combat, developing infections, or going into shock from rapid blood loss, and the game, including your character, were over.

He takes his phone into his hand, glancing over to the one he’d received for the game. He taps away at the keypad on his phone, dialing a close friend.

“Where’ve you been? You haven’t contacted me in days!” Taehyung exclaims as he picks up the line.

“I had a stalker situation and left to my parents for a while to calm down. That’s not why I’m calling you, though. I had a package—that I did not order—delivered to my doorstep, yesterday; no label from where it came from. Inside was a note and a phone, that I did not order because you know my phone is operating perfectly. Let me read the note to you,” Jungkook fumbles around briefly, retrieving the note and reading it aloud, “If you’re reading this, congratulations, you have been recruited to join the experience of the new game “Road 8,” brought to you by indie developer Kim Namjoon.”

“Wait, wait, wait, stop,” Taehyung hushed, “Kim Namjoon? That kid that was at the top of the schools in the country and entered college early?”

“I guess, I don’t know,” Jungkook shrugs.

“It may be someone different, but that’s the only person I’ve met that had his name.”

“What was he like?”

“Kid was super full of himself and only talked and hung out with people of like mind. In other words, he only socialized with people who were at the same IQ level. They were a group of rude, snobby teens who thought they were better than everyone,” Taehyung scoffs, “you should be glad you never met them. What’s this game about? Can I play it?”

“It’s about escaping to this utopia called Road 8. You talk with your player through texts, pictures, videos, and calls. Through those, you help them find their way around and direct them to Road 8,” Jungkook explains.

“That’s interesting. It takes place in real-time?”

“Sarah’s in this place called Atlas. When we were talking, it was 4am for her when it was 9pm here.”

“Atlas…” Taehyung trails off, murmuring to himself as he ponders, “the abandoned city of Atlas?”

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook’s face scrunches as he shakes his head.

“You’ve never heard of Atlas?”

“Obviously not if I’m asking you.”

“Atlas is a city that was abandoned in 2001 when there was a supposed disease outbreak. It was later revealed after investigation that there were tests being run on people for an elixir that would let your cells regenerate, much like crustaceans, and essentially prolong lifespan, if not ultimately have people living forever. That plan fell through and they ended up creating monsters of these innocent people. You know those fantasy movies where the antagonist turns into a gigantic beast when they get the elixir they needed to be at their true, potential form? It was like that. They confined these monsters they accidently created and didn’t tell the public. They kept altering the elixir, but nothing seemed to work. Finally, some twisted soul claimed he had resolved the issue, tested it, and the outcome was positive rather than a beast being brought to life. They believed him without seeing the results for themselves and were granted permission to sell the potions on shelves in stores, thus, the outbreak. The city attempted to evacuate the people and kill the infected, which...worked to some extent, but not much. Rumor has it that those monsters still roam the city at night, though it’s been closed off from the public for safety reasons. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of that story, but then again, you were still a baby,” Taehyung sighs and Jungkook gulps loud enough for the older to hear. “I’m guessing that those monsters are in the game?” He chuckles.

“Tae...is Sarah trapped in Atlas?” His mouth goes dry, his voice shaky as he mutters the question quietly.

“I mean, there has to be a way out if this is a quest to Road 8. I don’t see her being trapped in Atlas forever. How far have you gotten?”

“I nearly got her killed before sunrise.”

“That doesn’t sound like the gamer I know. What the hell happened?”

“The game glitched, I guess, and we couldn’t contact each other. One of those monsters came after her and she’s been staking out in a tree. She’d gotten her arm cut open and it became infected when she fell. I barely got a first aid to her,” recalling the night and images made him queasy, “Tae, it was horrible.”

“Even if she did die, you can regenerate her. No big deal.”

“That’s not how the game works. Once she’s gone, she’s gone.”

“Oh, that’s stupid. Games are supposed to defy natural human laws,” Jungkook can’t help but chuckle, Taehyung having the same thoughts as himself. “I’m really interested, but not enough to play it,” he chuckles, “are you staying home today?”

“Yeah. You want to come over to see it, don’t you?”

“Hell yeah!” Jungkook laughs, “I’ll be there as soon as I can!”

12:03 p.m.

“I brought food!” Taehyung chirps as he walks into Jungkook’s apartment, the younger laughing. Taehyung sets the fast food on Jungkook’s bedside table, hugging him tight, “I really missed you. Worries me when you don’t contact me in a while.”

“Everything’s fine, now,” Jungkook returns the hug, feeling much needed comfort from the embrace.

“I’m ready for that game,” Taehyung smiles big and Jungkook sighs.

“Wait a moment before you eat because it gets gory,” Jungkook unlocks the phone, Taehyung peering over his shoulder as he logs in, a flood of notifications and texts beginning. “Give me a second to read these,” Jungkook mumbles and Taehyung hums.

[Sarah has woken up]

[Sarah has taken the remainder of medicine from the first aid. Health is currently at 87%]

[Sarah’s energy is fully recharged!]

[Sarah’s hunger and thirst are stable]

Sarah: Wow, I feel better!

Sarah: It’s a bit after sunrise, I hope that’s okay, Jungkook.

Sarah: I suppose you’re asleep since you’re not responding. I’ll wait for you before I go anywhere, okay?

Sarah: It’s so pretty in the morning~!

[Sarah sent a photo]

“Oh, wow!” Taehyung and Jungkook say in unison, gaping at the landscape. From her perch in the tree, the sky was a peachy blue tone, the sun rays being captured beautifully. The forest itself was rich and lush, the leaves painted orange, red, and yellow due to the Autumn season.

“Who knew Atlas would actually be beautiful. Perhaps it’s because it’s been untouched for years,” Taehyung whispers, Jungkook tapping the video she’d sent.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Sarah chuckles, “I’ve always loved the way it looks at dawn.” She turns the camera towards herself, pointing behind her to a stream a few meters away, “I found this when I was looking around. I stayed in my tree, don’t worry! I told you I’d wait, and I did.” Her smile and sweet voice brings a smile to the boys faces, Jungkook relieved that she was in a much better condition.

“She’s pretty,” Taehyung nudges his friend, smiling.

“Very,” Jungkook chuckles, sending her a text.

Good morning, Sarah.

Sarah: Jungkook! You’re finally awake! Sleep well?

It was okay. I was worried about you.

“Don’t flirt,” Taehyung teases and Jungkook pushes him, making him laugh.

“She nearly died, you idiot. I was worried sick!”

“I was joking!”

Sarah: I’m okay, no need for worries!

[Sarah would like to video call]

Jungkook answers, forgetting this would be the first time she’d seen him. “Holy shit,” she exclaims, eyes wide, “that’s you?”

Taehyung wheezes as he laughs loudly, Jungkook blushing at Sarah’s reaction. “Y–yeah,” he stutters sheepishly.

“S–sorry! I... shouldn’t have reacted like that...but...wow. I didn’t expect you to look like that,” Sarah’s lips form a pout, “who else is with you?” Taehyung let’s his face appear in the camera, Sarah covering her mouth as she chuckles, “gosh.”

“You’re pretty yourself, know that?” Taehyung says, and she wrinkled her nose, blowing through her lips.

“Whatever~!”

“Jungkook thinks so,” he mentions and Jungkook’s heart stops. He wanted to punch the elder’s arm for saying such a thing. It was true, but he didn’t want it to be said aloud.

Sarah smiles softly, a hum leaving her before she turns the camera, “I wanted to show you this.” She slowly shows the entire forest, a fog having fallen over it, “I’m a bit high in the tree so it’s less visible, but I’m sure when I come down that it’ll be clearer. I was thinking of going towards the stream to get water in my canteen before we go. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, go ahead. Careful coming down,” Jungkook permits.

“Can we stay on the line? I still want to talk to you. It’s a little lonely by myself.”

“Of course. Do you have anything left in your box?”

She turns the camera to the first aid, “bandage, ointment, gauze, fruit, and water. I finished the medicine. I’m going to take the box with me. It has a strap, so I can carry it freely.” Closing the box, she throws the strap over her shoulder.

“You’re sure nothing dangerous is around before you get down?”

“Besides birds, deer, and other non-dangerous wildlife, nope,” she swings her leg over the branch, “putting you in my pocket, but I’m still here.”

“Okay.”

“Jungkook’s friend?” Sarah calls, the boys watching as the ground slowly becomes closer in proximity.

“Yes, ma’am?” Taehyung chirps.

“What’s your name?”

“Taehyung,” he answers.

“I like that name,” a branch snaps in the background, the camera jerking, “damn it.”

“Careful, Sarah,” Jungkook elaborates.

“Hush, Taehyung and I are talking,” Taehyung snorts as Jungkook’s jaw drops, “you’re 18 as well?”

“I’m 21 actually. You?”

“I’m 18, 19 soon, though...it’s September, right?” Taehyung hums in response, “okay. It is soon then.”

“So, you’re older than my friend, here.”

“I suppose so. Jungkook, when’s your birthday?”

“Yesterday,” Taehyung responds before him, Sarah not having it.

“I asked him, not you.”

Jungkook sticks his tongue out as the tables have turned, “September 1st.”

Sarah laughs, “mine’s the 11th.” She hops down from a branch, her boots hitting the ground, “and we’ve made our descent, ladies and gentlemen. To the stream! You guys can chill in my pocket for a while longer.” She gasps, “want to see what I made?” They agree, and she begins to talk, “I found out I had a pocket knife and sharpened a branch I’d broken off. Maybe if there’s fish in the stream that can be my food.”

“I don’t see why not. You made it this morning?” She hums happily, Jungkook smiling as she skips to the stream, the calm sound of moving water becoming evident.

“Here we are~!” She fills her canteen, “it’s crystal clear by the way, but if you’re apprehensive, I can boil it. Oh, look a fish!” She quickly shows the two her finding, “is this okay?”

Jungkook looks over to Taehyung, “it’s a catfish, she can eat it.”

“Tae said it’s okay.”

“You can’t tell your fish apart?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just asking!” Taehyung defends, Sarah’s quiet giggles bringing their attention to her. She held up the fish next to her, wiggling it in accomplishment.

“How the hell?” The two boys whisper.

“I have good aim,” she beams, “hopefully we can make a bow and arrow and get larger kills. There’s quite a few fishies so we should be okay.”

“The way you talk is so cute,” Taehyung laughs, and she smiles big, a faint rouge tinting her cheeks.

“Try to find a cache,” Jungkook changes the subject, Sarah nodding and venturing downstream. Jungkook briefly mutes them, looking over to Taehyung, “stop acting like that with her.”

“Like what?”

“Complimenting her like that, telling her I think she’s pretty and embarrassing me. Stop being all flirty with her,” Jungkook’s tone is irritated. He was getting fed up with Taehyung’s charming side being shown.

“It’s not that serious. Calm down,” Taehyung unmutes the line, Jungkook snatching his hand away.

“I just don’t want you acting like that with her.”

“Because you like her? Is that why it’s bothering you so much. You don’t want me to be friendly because you find her pretty. She’d be more likely to fall for someone she’s spending more time with than his friend. Calm down, for fucks sake,” Taehyung retorts back, “I’m not stealing her from you, I’m enjoying her company as much as you are. Stop acting so childish or tell me to leave.”

“I don’t want you to leave—”

“—then grow up,” Taehyung cuts him off, Jungkook sighing and turning back to his phone. Sarah had heard the entire conversation, though she pretended to be oblivious and not bring it up unless Jungkook did. In the time that they had been briefly arguing, she’d gathered firewood and a few dry pine cones. She’d skewered her catfish, keeping it close to her as she began a fire, blowing softly on the kindling and adding twigs. Humming a soft tune, she crafts a small rack for the skewered fish to rest on, hurrying away to gather more wood and vines to build a small shelter. “You’re good at that,” Taehyung mumbles, his mood having dropped due to Jungkook, “where’d you learn it?”

“My dad taught us when we were young, but I’ve always liked outdoor, woodsy type activities. We lived on acres of land which backed up into a bunch of trees. Not quite a forest, but as a kid it seemed like one. Watching survivor shows really interested me and I replicated it out there. I never got to sleep in my creations because my mom wouldn’t allow it, but my dad was always impressed,” she smiles faintly, “I miss him. He was my best friend.”

“Did he pass?”

“No,” she chuckles, “I talk about him like he’s gone, but he’s just fine.”

“How’d you get into Atlas?”

“I’ve been dying to say, but Jungkook never asked,” she smiles, weaving and tying the sticks with sturdy vines. “I figured it out a couple weeks ago...err, remembered is the proper term. Get your snacks because this is a long one and you need listen carefully. I can’t tell you directly what the hell is going on because he’s probably listening, but I’ll do my best,” Sarah whispers.

“Who will hear?” Jungkook asks.

“Namjoon, dummy. Who else?” She chuckles, showing her nape, a silver barcode branded it, “this is how they know everything wrong with me. Health, energy, heart rate, all that jazz. I’m not sure if they can hear me. I’m sure they can, but I’m willing to take the chance.” She cuts a vine before waving a large leaf, “I found banana leaves!”

Taehyung chuckles, Jungkook sighing, “focus, Sarah.”

“Hush, Jungkook,” she copies his exhausted tone, making a funny face before laughing. “Okay, okay,” she goes back to being serious, pouting as the boys begin to eat, “well, doesn’t that look good. I’m jealous.”

“I’ll bring you some, don’t worry,” Taehyung waves his hand and she sniffles.

“Thanks, man,” he hums, and she finally begins, “Road 8 is a new utopia that was created a few years ago by a group of intelligent students, as I was told by this one older friend I have. He didn’t believe it was a thing and told me that I shouldn’t either, but I saw equally from both sides, know? It was intriguing, and I was curious about it, so I went to the guys who made it up and talked with them about it. They said they’d show it to me that weekend, but I declined because I was going to the archery range with a friend. They told me they’d show me on a different occasion in that case. Like...they desperately wanted to show me this utopia and it was just so...strange; I wasn’t getting good vibes from this. I knew of people who had done the same thing that I had and went with them and once Monday would come, that person would be filed missing. My thing is, if they knew of this sacred utopia, why would they find it, tell everyone about it and say they’ll take you there, but never stay for themselves? Ultimately, some shady shit is going down that no one ever tells you about.”

She rotates her fish, not wanting it to burn, “I’m going to put the leaves on the little planks so if it were to rain, it won’t soak through.”

“Smart girl,” Taehyung commends.

“I was coming home late from work. I worked at a bar that closed at 2am, when I got off and went home it was close to 3am. Anyways, the parking garage is a decent walk from the complex I stayed. The area was one that was safe, minus the few hiccups here and there, so walking at night didn’t bother me, especially not that late. There was a boy that had come up to me as I was going to the building and he called out to me. He asked for directions to this apartment complex around the corner because he was new to the area and was having trouble recognizing the landmarks at night. I accepted and instead of telling him upfront, I showed him where it was,” she shakes her head, “such an idiot. He told me I looked pretty when we were walking and asked where I lived in the neighborhood and I told him as we passed my complex, but I didn’t specify what number. We exchanged names and friendly conversation, I showed him the apartments, he left, and I went home. I worked late again the next night and he and two other guys were waiting in my apartments corridor. I assume they drugged me because I can’t remember anything that happened afterwards. Next thing I know, I’m in this room with that group of guys from school. One of them had on a mask and I couldn’t make out his face even if I wanted to with the dim lighting.”

“You didn’t know,” Jungkook reassures.

“I did. I knew better,” Sarah sighs, “look where it got me. I didn’t live in Atlas. None of us did. This is where they throw you when you say you want to get to Road 8. I didn’t want to go to that hell hole, I was intrigued by the story, but those fuckers drugged me then forced me to find it.” Tears well in her eyes as her voice cracks, “I just want to go home. I’m alone, here. I’m jealous of you being able to sit, talk, and eat with people around you. You get to see your families, I don’t. I got labeled as missing. They dump you in Atlas because they know not a soul is going to check here. You thought Atlas was a wasteland, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” they both answer in a whisper.

“Rightfully so with how it’s described in the story. You wouldn’t have known had I not showed you. Besides the monsters at night, Atlas is gorgeous.”

“How’d you survive there for weeks?” Jungkook questions.

“I wasn’t here. When you connected to me, I’d been left alone in the house. I’d been trying to get in contact with someone and when we finally did—”

“—where were you originally?” He interrupts.

“An arena. There’s others here.”

“What’d they make you do?”

“Train you to survive in this,” she motions around her, “not everyone was ready, but they don’t care. You get tossed in, you better figure something out or you are dead weight.”

“Do you think you’ll meet anyone?” Taehyung furrows his brows, Sarah shaking her head.

“They only put two or three people out here at a time. It took a moment before I got chosen. I think there were two other boys left in the group they’d kidnapped. I assume they’ll bring up Road 8 to some kids and repeat the whole process. I guess seeing others get hurt or slaughtered is something they’re into.”

“What’s Namjoon look like?” Taehyung begins, “because I went to school with someone who had the exact same name. You said he went to your school, right?”

“He’s tall, quite handsome, extremely smart, wears glasses and hung out with a bunch of nerds.”

“Top of the school?”

“Yeah,” she drags out the syllable, “extremely smart, but I heard he wasn’t all that nice. He was in the group of seniors I talked to, but he didn’t say much. He was kind of just...there. As if he was supervising or making sure that they told the punchline correctly.”

“Wasn’t he there when they took you?”

“I really don’t know,” she pouts, her head snapping up as the fire crackles, “my fish!” The boys chuckle, Sarah tending to her breakfast before turning back to them. “What are your love lives like?” Taehyung nearly chokes, Jungkook clearing his throat as he blushes.

“W–why do you ask so suddenly?” Jungkook stutters and she giggles.

“I’m just nosy. Funny how you both got so shy.”

“We’re both single,” Taehyung replies, and she nods, “you?”

“What do you think?” She laughs, motioning around her, “the only significant other I could have out here would be a deer and he would run away from me. Of course, I’m single.” They join in her laughter, continuing to talk and get to know each other.

“Wait a second...Sarah?” Jungkook calls and she hums, “how are you charging your phone?”

“When I sleep it charges. My energy levels are its energy levels. It’s weird, dude.”

“So, you’re essentially an android,” Taehyung shrugs.

She copies the gesture, “I guess so. I still feel the same, but there’s a few things different on me.”

“Such as?” The boys say in unison.

“The barcode for one,” she shows her wrist, the band that Jungkook once saw was illuminated light blue. “This thing...I don’t know what the hell this is. Maybe for my heart rate since it’s on my pulse? I don’t know. Also,” she brings the camera to her gray eyes, streaks of a crystal blue painting her iris, “they used to be dark brown. Now look at them. I like them, but I miss them being brown and basic. My fish is ready.”

“You’re just all over the place, aren’t you?” Jungkook sighs and she smiles faintly.

“It bothers you, huh?”

“No... I’m...just noticing the pattern that you talk in,” he explains, and Taehyung takes a sip of his soda, his eyes flickering back and forth from his friend to the girl on the other line. “There’s nothing wrong with how you talk,” Jungkook sputters, “it’s just not what I’m used to, is all.” Her smile isn’t as cheerful and bright as it typically was. This time, it should slight sadness, Jungkook worrying his lip as Sarah falls silent, going back to working on her roof. “Do you want to find a cache after you finish cooking?” She shrugs, and he swallows hard, “I think we should.”

She simply nods, mumbling, “I’ll call you when I’m done.”

Her finger taps the end button, Taehyung sipping his soda once more, “nice job.”

“Shut up.”

8:46 p.m.

“She still hasn’t responded yet?” Taehyung asks, his wet hair dripping down his chest. Jungkook shakes his head, waiting desperately to hear back from Sarah. He’d hurt her feelings; he was sure of it. It wasn’t his intentions to point out her way of speech in a negative light. It intrigued him more than anything.

In the hours that they had been silent, he received notifications telling what she’d accomplished. Accepting the task, he had given her previously, she’d found a cache, gaining quite a few items. Of the items was a coat, Jungkook remembering how she complained of the cold the first night. Besides heavier clothing, she’d acquired another first aid, a couple snacks, a water bottle, and a lighter.

“Should I call her first?” Jungkook stares at the ceiling in defeat, Taehyung lying next to him.

“I’d give her space and wait for her to call you back like she said, but you can text her if you want. Tell her that you wanted to check up and make sure she’s okay. That’ll let her know you’re thinking about her,” he responds, typing away on his own phone.

Jungkook’s arm stretches to reach his gaming phone, unlocking it and sending a text to Sarah.

Are you okay?

Sarah: Is Tae still there?

Yeah, why?

Sarah: Go somewhere else…

Okay…

“I’ll be right back,” Jungkook says slowly, Taehyung humming as he puts in his headphones. Jungkook leaves the room, going to stand on the balcony outside the living room.

I’m outside.

[Sarah would like to call]

Answering, he asks quietly, “why’d you want me away from him?”

“Because I only want to talk to you, right now...is that so bad?” She sounds exhausted, Jungkook becoming slightly worried.

“No. I just thought I’d ask. Are you sleepy?”

“It’s 3am,” she chuckles softly, “I woke up when I heard noises. I’ve been up for a good hour.”

“Have they stopped?”

“Mhm. It was rustling and snapping twigs. Not my favorite of sounds to hear at this hour.”

“Did I upset you earlier?” The boy asks, the question and guilt eating away at him.

“You made me feel weird and a bit self-conscious. I’m not mad or upset at you, though. I know that’s not how you meant it,” she takes a deep breath, “everyone points it out after talking to me for a bit.”

“I’m still sorry,” he apologizes.

“Me, too. I shouldn’t have gone so long without speaking.”

“Do you like Taehyung?”

“Well aren’t you all over the place,” she teases, a chuckle coming from both. “I like him. He’s nice...does he like me?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook smiles softly, “he does.”

“Do you like me, sir?”

He chuckles once more, “yes, Miss Sarah, I like you.”

Humming, she sniffles, “look up.” Jungkook does as she says, seeing the clouds scattered across the sky, a crescent moon shining behind the compiled vapor. “What do you see?”

“The moon and clouds.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“No stars?”

“They’re there, but it’s hard to see them.”

[Sarah sent a picture]

“Don’t look at it until you go back inside. Let Taehyung see it as well. It may surprise you.”

“You’re leaving me?” Jungkook grins and she draws out a hum.

“I may fall asleep if we keep talking,” her tone is slightly higher, words spoken in a soft whine as she drags out the syllables, “you’re not sleeping?”

“It’s only nine,” he replies, silence falling for three seconds before she hums once more, making him chuckle, “go to sleep. Stay safe until I talk to you again later.”

“Jungkook?”

��Hm?”

“You sound like a concerned boyfriend,” his cheeks flush, a hum coming from the line, “stop blushing, you big dork. I say that meaning you’re very caring. When you go to sleep, sir, have sweet dreams. Don’t worry about me. I won’t go anywhere unless you say and will stay safe to avoid giving you a heart attack.”

“We’ll go further tomorrow, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Goodnight, Sarah.”

“Goodnight, egg head.”

“Hey!” Jungkook laughs lightly and she giggles.

“Night, Kookie,” the nickname brings a smile to his face, her voice sweet as she mutters it.

[Sarah has fallen asleep. Energy has gone up 1%]

[An update has been detected. Update game?]

Yes.

[Disconnecting with Sarah…]

[Disconnected]

[Sarah is now open to danger until Jungkook returns to the game]

[Update in progress…]

2:34 a.m.

[Update complete!]

#once again poor sarah #so we're continuing after all #least i think #i could easily change my mind #the next part is a bit more eventful #i skimmed through this so sorry for errors #jungkook #bts #bts jungkook #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jungkook scenarios #bts jungkook scenario #bts jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagines #jungkook scenario #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #jungkook imagine #jungkook au #bts au #bts angst #jungkook angst #my works