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partywithoutsmiling · 4 days

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Some musing on the Wanderer!Branch AU

(Okay, bit of a chaotic lore dump incoming, as this is probably the first time I am putting it to words)

Okay, important info first:

I headcanon it that Branch- and thus the other Brozone bros- are half-pop half-rock in their herritage; this headcanon is an old one, ever since World Tour dropped, and honestly only supported by the fact that Total Eclipse of the Heart that Branch sung as trolling is considered a Pop Rock song XD But hey, one doesnt need to have many reasons to make headcanons pff

(I have some tentative lore about his parents- and his grandparents- too, and how that would effect Branch and his Bros growing up, but I will leave that for a separated post)

But anyway, with Branch's Pop side being moderated by his Rock side, he would have always felt a bit out of place among his tribe, even he grew up perfectly happy with no tragedy in his life (I know switching Branch's and Poppy's place when it comes to being grey is all the rage right now, but I still feel most are missing all the necessary nuance to really make it work, but lets not get into that pf)

Obviously, that feeling of not fitting it only got hundred fold worse since his PTSD and him being grey, as Pop Trolls doesn't seem to be known for mental health support. Branch eventually leaving is not him going 'Screw you all, I will find someone who appreciates me' (much like Clay did) but more of a 'I am sorry, I won't get in your way anymore, I wont be a burden'

Basically massive amount of self-loathing and severe lack of self-worth. When Branch had his final breakdown and decided to leave, I don't think it would be with the precise goal of finding anyone (yes, part of him hopes he would be able to find his brothers and at least find closure one way or another, no matter how much it terrifies him).

Honestly, Branch probably didn't dare to examine his decision to leave any closely than he needed to, lest it would stand out to him for what it really was- a suicide trip.

This was Branch that doesnt know anything about the wide, outside world; he knows Bergen Town, knows of the old Troll Tree, and now knows the Forest and their Troll Village. But everything else is uncharted territory for him. He knows of the Neverglades, because of a faint memory of John Dory constantly talking about them when he was a baby, but has only a vague sense which way they are (I headcanon they make up for the border of Pop and Rock territories)

His preparation for the trip was abysmal, and so was his plan in general. He just picked a direction- opposite of Bergen Town, away from them- and started walking. When he first encountered the towering high peaks of Classical Territory, he immediatelly recognized that they can't be the Neverglades- very much not fitting the description that he remembered, so he walked past/around them, smack dab into Country territory.

Compared to others, I don't think the Country Trolls would have been very welcoming to him at the beginning; used to hard life, inhospitable land and abundant death, Branch would be an unexpected disturbance; obviously not a Classical Troll, who borders with them the closest but never comes down from the skies, obviously not a Funk Troll, who with their technological advance might as well be myths at this point- and obviously not a Pop Troll, since he doesnt shower them with obnoxious music and doesnt even look the part.

Had he been at his 100%, they would have probably been quite content to send him packing, figuring he was just a Rock Troll going solo career (little insert headcanon: Rock Troll Rite of Passage is going on a Rock Tour, and sometimes the more adventurous Rock Trolls strays into other territories to bother and cause mayhem other trolls. Barb's Rock Tour was her Rite of Passage, and being a freshly fanged Queen, she took it to another level)

But Branch quite helpfully collapsed on their doorstep, half starving and dehydrated, and they weren't so callous as to leave him there for the elements to take care of him.

Naturally, their help hardly came for free, and even if they didn't ask, Branch would have already feel indebted to them for wasting resources on his wellbeing. A Survivalist himself, he easily spotted the tight budget they were running, and felt guilty for being a burden yet again.

To his surprise, when the country trolls found out he was a hard worker, a skilled architect and wiz engineer, they completely turned their wariness around.

It was the start of his 'finding himself' journey, but for the first time, Branch started to feel... appreciated. Yes, these trolls didn't know him- but they looked at him, looked at what he can do, and called him accomplished; they were praising his skills, and called him valuable.

(But some sense of danger remained with him; as far as he believed, 'Branch' was left behind to rot away in his bunker. So when introducing himself, and habit got better of him, he started with "Bra-" but caught himself and finished "-mble"; and that new name, 'Bramble', stuck XD Still a plant name, still close enough that he can learn to repond to it- and honestly, feels like fits him better right now, as he feel all out of sorts)

It was only the first step, maybe, but it was a step toward feeling that he had some worth.

I think, out of all the Tribes, he stays with the Country trolls for the longest; yes, the life there is hard, but that is perhaps why he feels most welcomed there. There are no useless nonsense parties, no senseless dancing- the times when they can finaly wipe their brow and relax is when the community gathers together and they just... talk. Sit around, share food, look at the stars and reminiscence.

It's all very subdued, and even though Branch is the most obvious outsider ever, he feels like one with the community, and that by itself is already healing a deep wound he didnt know he had.

When the country trolls finally start singing on their good day, Branch is rather taken aback (He forgot, that Trolls are Trolls, and Trolls sing)- but the sombre and slow melody and topic of the country speaks to him, and while he doesnt join- and they dont push him to join- he listens, and he appreicates.

It is with Country Trolls that he heals most of his trauma when it comes to music. His Grandma and his Brothers leaving him are still a big guilt that weights him down- and something he wont address for a long time- but Country trolls shows him that music can be wildly different. He still doesnt sing, but when offered to be taught to play a banjo (XD), he probably doesnt refuse- mainly out of fear of insult, but also because for the first time in his life, he wants to actually try.

As time passes, his more curious side comes out- he asks questions, wants to know everything- up to this point, he didn't even know that the Country trolls were country- and to them it was obvious what they were, so why would they need to introduce themselves?

That line of questioning leads to the explanation of the other Tribes existing, and that each Tribes' music is different.

And for the first time in his life, Branch felt something alien to him- burning Wanderlust. (Bit of his Rock herritage showing, eh? Solo Rock tour, Rite of Passage~?) The thirst for knowledge was always there- after all, his bunker had many journals filled to brim with information about what he discovered in the foods, helpful tips for survival and many plans for inventions- but those were always done out of necessity, discovered and noted down so that he could live another say. Never before he had a desire to discover simply for the sake of discovering.

Never before he also actually felt like he had the option to do so; the world has always been an inhospitable wilderness to him, only filled with a small handful of trolls and a town full of monstrous giants. His childhood was filled with memory of a large iron cage, and that trapped feeling didn't change; after all, his Bunker, for all that it offered him safety, was a different type of cage too. The whole Troll Village- Pop Village, as he learned now- was another cage as well. Gilded one, made of ignorance.

And so he knew his time with the country trolls came to an end- and it was because he grew to respect them and appreciate them, that he doesnt disappear in the nigh and haltingly tells them his decision to leave and explore.

Memories of his Brothers' argument echo through his mind as he waits for the inevitable blow up, but.... he is once again surprised when the trolls just accepts this decision and wish him all the best- going as far as to help him pack- properly this time- and wheedling out of him a promise to check in once in a while, whenever he is in the neighbourhood.

Equipped with a non outdated map, he decides to make visit all the other territories one by one, starting from Country and heading right towards Classical, going around in one large circle around Pop Territory- Going to Techno after Classical, and to Rock right after that. Funk is largely a mystery to him- the Country trolls are at this point content to believe they are just a myth- much the same way a unicorn is to us- but Branch wants to keep an open mind.

After all, he himself had no idea other kind of trolls existed, so why dismiss the Funk Troll existence right away?

His travels to Symphonyville proved to be as challenging as was the start of his trip towards Country territory. Being high in the mountains- higher than anywhere Branch ever went- really showed him that walking is easy only when the road is straight and flat.

The air growing colder and thinning, he probably doesn't make the best first impression neither- especially in his dishevelled state, he is once more mistaken for a Rock Troll, and it takes a gargantuan amount of effort to convince anyone that he is simply there to learn music, and not cause any trouble.

Out of all the Tribes, he would stay with the Classical trolls the shortest. They are strict teachers, and their culture is very frigid and traditional- and Branch knows that he would have to wildly change himself to fit among them. Yet looking around, seeing the tall spires of the buildings around him, he finds he doesn't really want to. The grandiose of everything is rather intimidating- but even if he tried his best, he would never fit well among the classical trolls, always limited by something (like his ability to fly)

And realizes that was okay. That was acceptable. And that the classical trolls knew he wasn't a good fit now, and would hardly ever be a good fit ever- but they never expected him to become someone he is not. He asked them to teach him and so teach him they will- but you cant force a white sheep to grow black wool anymore that you can force a black sheep grow white.

The moment they realize Branch is there to learn and not wreck their peace like wandering Rock Trolls tend to do, they definitelly warm up to him more- but it still with the mildest of disapprovals since compared to them, Branch looks like a scrunkly kitten and all of them are just itching to groom him properly XD

Branch himself is amazed at the variety of musical instruments that exists and very quickly finds that he is not a progidy in plaing them all pff. Wind musical instruments are most likely completely beyond him, and after some attempts gives them up for a lost cause. Percussion fairs a bit better; he definitelly has some idea how to keep a beat and a rhythm, but even there he finds playing piano the most comfortable out of them all, with drums being a close second.

It is with string instruments that he trully shines, especially those that he can play with his own hands, without the need to use a pick or a bow; a tentative hint at his connection to music, the vibrations just send shivers down his spine and makes him feel more close to the sound his playing produces. (Guitar and Harp becoming his favourite instruments from the get go).

Getting to Techno was trickier. Them living underwater makes access to their territory rather impossible- unless Branch happens to meet someone willing to cross then bridge between Land and Sea XD

It makes for a rather convenient introduction for minor genres; the land bordering Classical and Rock seems to be as the perfect land for various minor tribes to cohabit in peace.

Are there Techno Opera trolls? Siren like beings, that found their homes on the deck of boats, sailing from and to an island after island? Techno Classical that built their living on the coast line, wanting to be close to both land and sea?

In any case, Branch discovers that even with music it's not so simple as shelving it into labels, and that it is ever growing, ever evolving. He never manages to actually visit Techno Reef, but he doesnt' need to; compared to other trolls, the Techno Trolls are not insular, and quite happily come to the surface or to the coast, both to vibe with the offshoots of their genre, to discover what they came up with, but also to simply make friends and have fun.

It was the first time Branch encountered a large party not unsimilar to that of a Pop Troll one- and yet for all that the party was just as loud and wild as he was used to seeing, the sight of it didnt really fill him with uncontrollable panic. It definitelly helped it was once again more about the music and the beat itself, and about the mood of the partygoers than it was about the singing; it was about experimentation and trying out new things- and yet not every troll was dancing around like maniacs. They had the stage for sure, and large crowd was gathering there- but there were also the fringe areas and corners, where Trolls just sat and chatted and bopped to the beat. Not forced to do anything they didn't want to, simply allowed to have fun in their own way.

He doesnt really interacts with the Techno Trolls that much, beyond when there is a party happening on the surface. Gravitates more towards exploring the Minor Territory, and discovering that it holds more than just Techno Classical/Opera. Not wanting to stray too close to the border with Pop, he nevertheless encounters encounters various offshoots of Pop as well- and the K-Pop gang as well

This definitelly allows him to learnt that even the Trolls Kingdom are not free of corruption and the bounty hunters are not starving for contracts- crime does happen in the troll kingdoms, and when the local police force comes short, the bounty hunters are the next best thing to employ.

Speaking with the K-Pop gang, he learns- with a bit of unease- that there was an old contract unfulfilled, that searched for all the Brozone Brothers, and thanked his lucky stars he can in no way be connected to them. It was considered a cold one, where there was no hope among the communities of it ever being cashed in- but the knowledge someone was looking for them- specifically for the younger of the brothers (Him, Floyd and Clay) made him wonder who could it be.

(Part of him entertained that it could be John Dory)

(Other part dismissed it right away. After all, JD did specifically state 'Goodbye Forever'- why would he make the effort to employ bounty hunters to find three of his brothers, if he was even alive to do so?)

That meetings seems to set of a string of bad luck- at least, that's how he feels. Continuing down to Rock territory- of which he is most wary (after all, he was constantly being confused for one, and expected to cause mayhem and destruction- so what kind of Trolls Rock Trolls were to earn that reputation?

A very specific kind- wild and chaotic.

Compared to other Territories, no-one blinks when he just walks in and continues deeper into the Kingdom; and he can finally see why he was mistaken for a Rock Troll. Muted colours, sharp smiles and even sharper claws, it was like walking into uncanny valley, where nearly every troll wears his face. At that point, unknown to him, his colours are not completely grey and black, so he is sporting some faint hues, and very quickly learns that thanks to the direction he came from, Rock Trolls think he is from an Offshoot genre; either Punk Rock or Pop Rock (though they obviously hope for the former) They reconsider him to Folk Rock when he brings out softer tunes that he plays on a borrowed guitar; and for the first time in a while, Branch is asked to sing.

He panics, obviously- playing musical instrument is one thing, but getting over his trauma from singing is another- and quite swiftly and bluntly refuses, cringing after to wait for the inevitable "You are a Troll, why don't you sing?"

Only... it never comes. There are shrugs, and one "Cool." and then he just gets invited to an Indie Rock show, and that is that.

Completely baffled at this easy acceptance, Branch agrees out of shock, before he can trully think it through- and realizes it's the first time since he left Pop Village (at this point probably nearly two years ago) that he thinks back on its inhabitants and namely Poppy.

He feels rather guilty, for taking this long to really give them a concrete thought. Like yes, he did think of them at the beginning, when he lived with the Country trolls- but that was only in general way, comparing the different livestyles. He never really chose to think about the people he left behind.

Now, no longer blinded with grief, self-loathing and rampart paranoia, he does remember that not all adults in his life went out of their way to activelly fail him. King Peppy, for all that he was unequipped to deal with Branch's issues, tried to check up on him regularly; his Grandmother's friends or those who knew her, made it their goal to be kind, even if Branch tried to avoid them out of reminder what he caused

Hype, Trickie, Boom and Ablaze were old friends- his childhood friends- the ones he made after his brothers left, and the ones he pushed away after he went grey- and yet they still managed to be around, noticing them from a distance, even as he stopped speaking to them.

And then there was, of course, Poppy.

Just starting to mature when he left, it's not quite a crush that he feels for her (not yet anyway), but there is still some sort of appreciation for her- some part of him, that subconsciously aches at the need to be close to her, and feeling just that bit of her warmth and positivity- one that made him wistfully keep all her invitations and listen to the sound of her recorded voice.

For the first time, he wonders how they reacted to his disappearence. Wonders if they miss him- or if they curse him. If they do both- like he felt conflicted towards his brothers, the older he got and the more obvious it became that they are not coming back.

It was that thought- the comparison to his brothers- that pushed him to hesitantly think about returning back to Pop Village; to his bunker, to his old life- to Poppy.

It was a tentative thought really; truthfully, the desire was a half hearted spur of the moment, and not something he would drop everything for. He didn't miss his old life; where he was the village hermit, the outcast, the weird one. Besides, he just arrived in Rock, and he still had a whole adventure ahead of him, trying to find the Funk trolls.

And so, When in Rome, do as the Romans do- and so Branch steeled himself to attend a party, one that he was specifically invited to; after all, he had been at parties before now, within the reach of Techno Reef, it's not like this one is any different

Only it kind of felt like it- yes, the music was harsher, the beat went harder- but the harmonizing of voices reminded him so close of his own tribe that it just left him feeling jittery- and at first, yes, the party made him tense and hardly participate, but as it went on, song after song, he could feel himself slowly relax.

(Besides, there was something about rock music, that send warmth straight to the core of his being; something about it resonated with him more than any other music did, besides Pop- and where before he fought hard to not allow it to do that, perhaps, just this time, he could try the opposite)

(After all, they were underground, where Branch always felt the safest, and the Bergens had no idea other tribes even existed- he could indulge a little)

Of course, fate has a funny way of entertaining itself, and in the second of his indecisiveness, he gets bumped into and trips and falls- or he would, if pair of hands didn't steady him, and familiar voice asked him if he was okay

And Branch suddenly felt altogether three years old, getting fed empty promise and watching his older brother disappear through the entry to his Grandma's pod

And he is now in present, left staring at nearly 15 years older Floyd, his brother clearly living the best life, happily away from Pop Territory (away from Branch)

His name drops from his lips before Branch can stop himself, and that has Floy pause and squint at him- obviously not recognizing him, obviously trying to place him- before something clicks and his eyes widen and he goes pale

Branch most likely punches him- and then finds he cant stop heaving in fury and goes punch him again, not allowing Floyd a word in (honestly, he is not punching very hard, not apart from that first one)

Of course, Floyd is hardly alone, probably in a band, and his band mates are not keen on having their member be attacked by a random troll

Brawl very easily breaks out- honestly nothing new among the Rock Trolls- and ends up with all of them, especially Branch, thrown in a cell for their troubles, much to the protest of Floyd's bandmates, who curses and claims innocence

For the first time in forever, Branch feels hollowed out; yes, he had been hoping for a closure- but honestly, he had expected to find all of his brothers dead; not finding any of them living happily away, their youngest brother not even a blip of concern in their mind.

He certainly never expected it from Floyd, who essentially lived a stone throw away; who clearly was able to cross the distance it took from Bergen town to arrive in Rock troll's territory, just shy away from the Pop one.

------------------------------------------------------------ This is where I will stop the musing for now XD;

Obviously there are more things to add; Barb would make appearance, not yet as a Queen but definitelly in charge of keeping any Rock Trolls in line (she is not called a Princess because the Rock Trolls don't use that title for their heirs) and while Floyd is aware she is the future Queen, that information doesnt get shared)

The discovery of Funk Trolls still awaits as well, as does Branch's return to Lonesome Flats, as he had promised to do

But that's for the next time :)

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls fandom #trolls branch #wanderer!branch au #Lore #lore dump

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the-s1lly-corner · 9 months

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Starlight, Starshine; an impenetrable disguise

its finally happening! i came up with a name for this little fanfic/one shot series/whatever this is going to be! obligatory title is ripped from a steam powered giraffe song (go listen to starlight starshine, its literally sun+moon x reader core im begging you) anyways! Starlight, Starshine is going to be a collection of self indulgent writings between our favorite animatronic and reader! from multiple different aus, though it will mostly center around 2! one au thats "everything is fine nothing bad happens please i just want them ALL to be happy" and the other is a silly dumb idea of "what if reader who used to work at the pizzaplex takes eclipse home and repairs them and ect ect happens"! todays little fic is based off of that! im so sorry about the long authors note, i really need to make it a habit to shorten these but yk obligatory admin is not used to writing fics and theyre still trying to find their style in terms of writing so ! most of these one shots also arent going to be in order, due to the nature of this being a collection of writings for at least 2 aus so for the most part theres no need to read them all to understand a greater story!

Summary: Months after the reader brings Eclipse to their home and repairs them, sun and moon must get accustomed to their new environment. however sun has some plans...

Extra notes: this one is primarily sun centered, reader has a dog, author is attempting at comedy, not proof read we die like men so expect a few grammar mistakes and spelling errors, a lot of this one shot also contains more context and exposition (???) to the "Taken Home" au referenced above, author is not confident in their writing skills and hasnt written a full fledged fic in a year or two, author also isnt used to writing proper dialogue so take that as you will, reader is GN/typically wont be given pronouns due to authors general writing style/POV, he/they pronouns for sun and moon they /them for eclipse, really this is just an experimental piece with a vague idea i had last night, nothing too special more so an exercise to get me back into writing, author is still trying to figure out how to write personalities so these are very likely to be OOC

The first word that came to your mind when describing Sun was "odd". He looked odd, he acted odd, he had odd rituals that he carried out in your home. However it wasn't a bad kind of odd.

It'd been a few months since you took the former daycare attendant to your home, and repaired them. You had already grown close to the pair long before the closure of the pizzaplex, being an extra set of hands in the daycare. You didnt even know they were still active within the building when you decided to explore the remains; already taken on the form of Eclipse, who at the time of your discovery was trying in vain to clean the wreckage. Of course repairing them wasn't easy given you had limited experience in... basically rebuilding an animatronic; but against all odds you made it work! You let them take the guest bedroom, not that either of them used it; they would much rather spend their time hovering around you.

It took a lot of getting used to, for everyone involved, but you were all adjusting quite nicely!

Mostly...

You see, Sun didnt like being cooped up.. your home being considerably smaller than the daycare he was so used to. Leading to todays horrible plan.

"Sunflower," You said through lightly clenched teeth as you watched the sun themed animatronic tug on an oversized hat. He really couldn't be doing this... this wasnt going to work, no one is this dumb to fall for this plan!

The plan in question? Well, Sun thinks it would be a good idea to wander about outside in a "disguise" of sorts; said disguise consisting of the aforementioned hat, sunglasses, a face mask, and a entirely new outfit. Obviously, it looked at convincing as it sounded.

Sun hummed and spun on his feel to look at you, already putting your dog on a leash. "Yeeees starshine?" He asked as he scratched your dog between the ears. "This isnt a good idea," You mumbled as you watched him make his way to the door. "Nonsense! There's hardly anyone out, it'll only be a quick walk around the park!" Sun cheered.

The second word that comes to your mind when you think to describe Sun, is "stubborn", as when he made his mind up on something you can almost guarantee that he would follow through with the plan. So now, you were following behind him, keeping your eyes peeled for anyone who could see him. If he weren't so tall, or if he could tuck his rays in, or didn't emit a mechanical creak with every step he made then perhaps, the plan may have just worked... perhaps.. maybe..

No, it wouldn't, you can see his metal neck from where you were standing.

"Remember, only one lap," You reminded him as you succumbed to his will, much to his delight as his pace picked up just ever so slightly.

To his credit, he was right about not many people being out and about, mostly in part due to the fact it was still early in the morning. Just light enough to keep Sun in control, but just early enough for most to still be sleeping or still getting ready for work. However, the park wasn't empty, mostly it was early morning joggers; who thankfully didn't pay much mind to the two of you outside of giving a half wave as they passed.

There were even a few parents around with their small children walking with them; be it they were walking them to school or simply taking them to take in the early morning air... Sun's body seemed to perk up at the sight of the children, loudly greeting them with a good morning; leaving both them and the parents slightly bewildered at his high energy.

There were others, who had decided to also take their dog out for an early walk. The people once again weren't an issue, as they seemed to miraculously fall for Sun's disguise from a distance.

Their dogs weren't fooled, though. Multiple dogs began to bark and growl as they passed by. "Oh I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into him!" was said a few times throughout the walk. Again, the owners somehow didnt seem to notice the fact Sun was an animatronic, mostly due to having to restrain their dog from lunging forward at him.

The closest call, however, came from Sun excitedly taking up an offer for someone to pet their dog. For you see, Sun didnt think far enough ahead to cover his hands, thus leaving his hands in clear sight. Add in the fact that the dog bit Sun as he leaned forward to pet them.

Of course, the man noticed, and before he could say a word or question, you blurted out that it was a prosthetic hand. Though, you're not sure that the man bought it, as he was now craning his neck up to look up at Sun's round, flat face.

He slinked off. Whether it be he didn't have the energy to deal with it, or he simply just didnt care, or somehow believed you, he left.

Thankfully, that last interaction happened as you and Sun were beginning to loop back to where you started. Before Sun could begin to beg for a second round around the park, you started to walk him home; hand in hand.

"Oh that was so so fun! Starshine we gotta do this more often, everyone was so nice, " Sun chirped as you approached your front door. In his excitement he had begun to skip in long strides, forcing you to speed up your walk to a light jog.

"Yeah, again... maybe we can go earlier in the morning? You know we cant risk anything, I mean, if I get caught with you I could probably get sent to," You trailed off as Sun suddenly shoved something into your hands.

A handful of flowers that he had pulled up from the ground, he must have grabbed them while on the walk. How did you not notice? Were you that nervous of being found out by others?

A third word to describe Sun would be sweet. Even through his oddity and stubbornness, he still thought of you. Always so considerate.

Now that you think about it, you realize this may be the first time Sun has touched a real living flower.

You frowned, slightly. It made sense, he wasnt permitted to step foot outside of the pizzaplex, and its not like many people were giving him bouquets of fresh flowers. Usually if they did it'd be the obviously fake plastic ones. Sure, sometimes the kids would give him paper flowers.

"Can we go again tomorrow?" Sun asked as he watched you fumble around with the cluster of flowers... some were weeds, but.. its the thought that counts.

"Of course, Sunflower," You said before you could let yourself think logically.

Well, there was no taking it back, now. How could you, when Sun quickly stamped his heels in excitement as he dashed inside your home.

Perhaps you'll pick some flowers for him tomorrow, too.

yeah idk about this one yall LMAO, i genuinely didnt know where i was going with this one nor did i know how to end it, if that wasnt obvious SOBS im so not used to writing actual stories, im so used to short scenarios and headcannons... gotta fix that anyways i still have a few more ideas i want to write, but! thats it for the first one shot for Starlight, Starshine !

#fnaf sun #fnaf sun x reader #sunrise x reader #sunrise x you #sundrop x reader #sundrop x you #fnaf sb x reader #fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach x reader #fnaf daycare attendant #daycare attendant x reader #fluff #author isnt used to writing #help

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uhardite · 5 months

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my no-fail guide to deal with a breakup

hey bbg, if you are reading this post bc you need it, i wish you all the strength and support to get through this. dont worry, coming from a person who has had her share of *bad* breakups, this feeling wont last very long, you will feel better soon, i love you <3

reminder: this is what i personally do, it may not work for everyone, others may have different ways to deal with it, and thats completely fine! be sure to give yourself the love and care you need while getting through this bad phase x

stage 1

cry. cry your heart out. take as long as you need to express all the negative emotions you are feeling. write down reasons why he/she was not the one for you. write down what you still feel for that person. then tear it and throw it in the trash. block that person from all your socials, resist the urge to see how they are doing, stay in your room for as long as you need. cut off your ex and their circle completely, take time for yourself, talk to people who can support and comfort you, and discourage you from being impulsive. if you feel like you wont get through this, just remember to keep pushing for one week. one week, thats all im asking from you. chances are, you will recover enough by one week to start thinking rationally about this, without bursting into tears or feeling extreme sadness. this is the hardest part, but the good thing is, it takes the least time to get through. so hold on and you will get better <3

stage 2

did you have a proper conversation with your ex while breaking up? were you both honest about the mistakes you made, things you could have done better, why your relationship didnt work out? if not, now may be a good time to have a heart-to-heart. if you had a bad breakup and dont trust your ex to be honest about themselves, you may simply ask them to be honest about specific things that affected you, then listen to their side of the story and leave. HOWEVER, do not do this if you feel unsafe around them. also, remember that the goal is to get closure, to find an explanation and move on, not to get back together. if he/she was meant for you, they would come back in your life at the right time. right now, taking some time for yourself and reflecting is more important at the present. acknowledge that you have experienced something new, accept all that you can learn from it, and move ahead. now is the time to get into new hobbies, routines, making new friends, and keeping yourself busy. stop listening to sad music, work on pending assignments, projects, study for any upcoming exams in advance, start working out, do something silly each day that makes you happy, keep going

stage 3

at this stage, you will rarely be thinking of your ex, you will be occupied by new thoughts and feelings and experiences, and a lot more comfortable by now. dont be too troubled if memories come flooding back, they are just passing feelings, they dont signify anything. you might also feel lonely around this time, or wish to date again, and although i personally dont like to date until i have moved on completely, it's perfectly fine to date someone as a rebound. however, keep in mind that dating should not cause you drama, and you should be clear about committment and feelings with the other person. dating someone as your rebound shouldnt hurt them, nor you. if you want to date to show your ex that you can do better than them, stop right there. this isnt about getting their attention, this is about you moving on

stage 4

we have reached the final stage! now is the time to strengthen your current relationships, friendships, stay consistent with your progress, take time to deeply reflect, and keep growing. relationships can be learning experiences when you treat them like one, where you learn about yourself as well as about other people. having the right mindset will help you in your future relationships as well. im proud of you and you've got this xx

#this is a girlblog #girlblogging #this is what makes us girls #just girly things #moving on #letting go #breakup #heartbreak #move on #self improvement #self love #healing #healing journey #self reflection #self help #heartache #dividers by v6que

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away-ward · 7 months

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this michaelrika kaibanks just ruined everything for me. especially considering banks is my favorite character and i only continued with the series so i could get crumbs of her(which didn happen thanks to pd always favouring rika and thrusting her into situations where she is not needed). honestly, that bonus scene does not sound like banks AT ALL. her worrying about how her how "family" doesnt love her enough after 10 damn years made me want to break something especially since pd made it out like they all adore and love Rika while making banks feel like she was not part of the inner circle. moreover if emory would have become good friends with any one in that weird-ass grp it would have been with banks but NO pd has to make it all about rika..in a bonus scene... about Banks. idk why no one is talking abt that. and this is so against the found family theme pd set up in the books.

kai kai kai what do i even say abt this guy. past kai was such a gem. like i will fight anyone who says otherwise. him and banks were SO DAMN CUTE but the present one.. not so much. in the bonus scene banks asks rika did she go around walking knowing that she could have had kai again and again if banks didnt come into the picture. i think kai WOULD HAVE had rika again if he hadnt found banks and i cant just ignore it no matter how much i try. also why is kai ALWAYS going "rika this rika that" even after he found banks. ik everything and every character in the dn universe is about rika coz pd created them but it is just disturbing kai is like this even though he knows that makes banks uncomfortable.

i was so excited when pd said she was gonna write a bonus scene for dn but MY GOD I WISH I DIDNT READ WHATEVER THE HELL THAT WAS IN HER FACEBOOK. and to think this might be the last kai banks scene we ever get... makes me wanna cry. they deserve so much more. there might be more bonus scenes in that universe but it sure as hell wont be abt kaibanks knowing pd (i mean she did them dirty in their own book making the main focus damon and rika)

ohhh i almost forget about the conclave scene where kai knows about rikas situation before michael. i mean wtf is this even. and when banks get upset rika had the audacity to feel betrayed. after everything kai said to banks in hideaway abt how she is the one he looks for every morning, this scene in conclave just ruined that closure. AND we didnt get to see kai and banks talk about it. of course we didnt because they are just side characters in this series right.

in my opinion, pd should rewrite the bonus and quit making Kai so 'rika-centric' and actually concentrate on how HIS OWN wife feels.

ik this is a lot kai banks but this is years of pent-up frustration over how my best girl and kai were done dirty.

and i feel like i would have liked rika so much more if pd didnt shove her down our throats like that throughout the series

pt 2 of the ask:

by the same person who wrote the kai banks rant will you ever write a fanfic on kai banks coz i have searched the internet and i couldn't find one story abt them. which is really sad since they are the only other couple who made sense apart from will and emmy. and abt my previous rant kai ONLY belongs with banks and we all know it. i mean they belong with each other no one can say otherwise. kai might have been attracted to rika but he will choose banks no matter what so that is why it is frustrating when he is made out to be like he cares abt rika as more than just a friend and more than he should. what is your thoughts on all this

Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head why this doesn’t sit right with a lot of us.

One, the time period. I could possibly buy this if it were set within the original series. Maybe before NF or very soon after. But ten years later makes Banks seem very insecure and childish. She’s just been living for ten years thinking that her husband is secretly lusting over what is perceivable her best friend. Or at least her closest female friendship. That doesn’t feel like Banks to me. My understanding of Banks character is that she would have addressed any issue much sooner.

And two, this was supposed to be about Banks. But what we have is Banks making Rika feel better. First, confronting her over the young girl and reminding Rika that she has nothing to feel shamed over. Then, realizing how Rika feels, confirming those feelings. And in a way, Banks realizing that her feelings around Rika were not insecurities but were in fact attraction, is about Banks. But it’s still really about how amazing Rika is, and everyone agrees.

No one is immune to Rika Fane is the point of the scene. But it's the same message we've been getting since Corrupt.

It’s frustrating because it doesn’t give found/chosen family vibes. It’s all about Rika.

And now I feel like this about her:

kai kai kai what do i even say abt this guy. past kai was such a gem. like i will fight anyone who says otherwise.

Okay, okay. I’ll keep my fighting words to myself...

But anyway, Kai alone frustrates me (which is super disappointing because from other’s POVs, he’s delightful and interesting). Banks makes him better. I love the two of them together. The fact that he’s given any room for Banks to develop feelings of doubt about him and Rika is so odd. There’s no argument for it.

the conclave scene where kai knows about rikas situation before michael. i mean wtf is this even. and when banks get upset rika had the audacity to feel betrayed.

See, Rika confiding in Kai didn’t bother me, because it made sense to me that she’d confide in him. At this point, Kai is one of her closest friends and I (maybe erroneously) thought of Kai as the most reasonable and comforting of the group, which is something Rika needed. It’s the jealousy and the doubt about their relationship that comes after that ruined it for me. Either Rika and Kai can be friends and nothing else, or they can’t. And PD is really pushing this “they can’t” idea with every update and bonus they post. Which is so weird.

Do you think we could challenge PD to write a couple-centric scene where none of the other couples show up, if only for us to get quality couple content?

ik this is a lot kai banks but this is years of pent-up frustration over how my best girl and kai were done dirty.

Hey, I get it. I’m here for some kaibanks conversation. As much as Kai in the series frustrates me, Kaibanks in my head sit in the same boat as Willemmy, which is that they are cute and deserve better.

And didn’t feel like didn’t would have liked rika so much more if pd didn’t shove her down our throats like that throughout the series

Very true.

will you ever write a fanfic on kai banks coz i have searched the internet and i couldn't find one story abt them. which is really sad since they are the only other couple who made sense apart from will and emmy.

It's not that I don’t want to, but I haven’t been able to wrap my head around Kai and Banks as characters. This scene helped with Banks a little, but now Kai is harder to understand. I know there were some oneshots over on Wattpad if you have access. If I were to ever break from Willemmy, Kaibanks would probably be the next one I'm inclinded towards, though. Sorry I can’t promise anything.

kai ONLY belongs with banks and we all know it. i mean they belong with each other no one can say otherwise. kai might have been attracted to rika but he will choose banks no matter what so that is why it is frustrating when he is made out to be like he cares abt rika as more than just a friend and more than he should.

I completely agree. I think with the way the family is set up, there would be nothing wrong with Kai thinking Rika or any of the other girls are attractive, but it should be clear that he doesn’t have the same bond/connection/relationship to them as he does with Banks. I still think back to Michael openly declaring that Rika was everything to him, and it’s strange that none of the other guys have similar moments where they remove any doubt that they want no one else.

Like, I don’t think Michael wants Banks. Or Winter. Or Em. He wants Rika and Rika’s happiness. He might think Banks is hot, but that’s probably as far as it goes.

That’s Banks. Kai’s wife, Damon’s sister. Pain in his neck.

If somebody gave Kai an ounce of that energy towards Rika, we’d have a completely different vibe.

I'm not sure what can be done to protect our sanity. I, for one, usually hate to ignore canon, but sometimes it's just... not worth acknowledging in favor of your own HC.

That might be the case here.

Let me know your kaibanks HC if you're up for it. Anyway, have a great day. Hope you forget all about the bonus scene soon!

-KO

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #kaibanks #kai mori #nikova banks #asked and answered 114

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aresmarked · 9 months

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kanamafu anon again! thank you for the lovely response! here’s an imo trickier niigo question: what do you think of ena’s dad?

i often see fans blow his shittiness out of proportion, like making him a physical abuser to the whole family or acting like he’s always been unsupportive when the text itself says he was supportive of ena’s art when she was a little kid. i agree that he’s shitty, but part of me thinks that… his relationship with ena can be salvaged, somehow? i know other fans wont forgive him even if he and ena get closure, which is fine, but i dont really feel that way? i keep trying to ask myself what sets him apart from, say, mafuyu’s mom in my mind, when they both say harsh things to their kids in an attempt to “protect” them. it’s like my brain’s really clinging to that part about how he wasn’t always like this, unlike mafuyu’s mom who has always used guilt tripping to control mafuyu. but maybe that’s silly of me, dunno. part of me thinks he’s just an emotionally stunted old man who is piss poor at phrasing things and that he just has some serious growing to do to salvage this, but then again maybe he shouldntve been a parent before that point and he still sucks because, again, he at least had the sense to not say “this art is shit” to, like, a seven year old so maybe it IS his fault? i do consider myself a fan of his character so i ponder this a lot. given your insight about mafuyu’s mom, though, i was just curious as to what you thought!

...Hfhfhf, almost right out of the gate with the essay questions. Hm.

I'd break my thoughts up about him into a few main points, but TL;DR if I knew a parent like this I'd go out of the way to make sure the kid gets some positive feedback from me, but he's a character/parent i could see improving in time.

He's one of those guys who's good at his craft but terrible at teaching. (You see these sorts a decent amount, for better or worse). While he had valid points, the way he chose to 'advise' isn't great. if a parent said something like that around me about one of their kids i'd have a Hard time reining it in.

As remarked upon in the game itself, he didn't talk to Ena as his daughter, but more as another artist, and moreover, I'd say, an adult artist. A few additional words would've made a huge difference in how Ena walked away from that conversation. like 'right now'. or advice on, y'know. what to actually work on. see point one again.

The major difference between him and Mafumom is that he does consider Ena's wishes, not hindering her from going into the arts, and not inserting himself where he's very much not wanted. He does respect what Ena wants to do.

Doesn't stop him having done a wrong and needing to repair that, to move forward. People are full of faults and strengths and I appreciate PSekai actually writing people with those. parents with those. it makes us feel even more strongly for ena cause yeah, a parent's mistake hurts a Lot! It makes a better tale cause it's real!

That said, while I think it's possible for Ena and her dad to potentially mend their relationship, as you say, such a mending will take time to believable and acceptable I think, not just to readers but to Ena. She's got no real interest in mending their familial relationship right now. and a 'forgive your parents' plotline when said parent hasn't taken real steps to actually mend the familial relationship would just be. so tired. that grounds been trod a thousand times. 'You'll understand when you're older'. i hate those plots where the kid forgives their parents without the parents really doing anything to reflect on their actions. the fact it's still a bit of a revolution when a parent does admit they've done wrong speaks mountains.

#project sekai #shinonome ena #anonymous #war replies #i'll be honest: i'm currently way more interested in shinomama with the glimpses we've seen in cards and the mafuena event #not only incredible at supporting her kids through tough times but others as well. i want to see her butt heads with mafumom #them being all ^-^ at each other while sparks fly between them

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saulwexler · 10 months

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saul gone aired almost a year ago so maybe that's why i can't stop thinking about the whole thing rn. it all stems from the fact that i genuinely miss a show i can't even bring myself to watch anymore. but anyway. my mind keeps coming back to one element in particular: the handling of mcwexler's mental health. 6b tries and tries to show you how jimmy's self-destructive behaviors have taken a toll on him, but then nothing seems to matter anymore when he hears kim's confessed and then he proceeds to do it as well – in what seems to me like a classic "love saves you 🥰" narrative more suited for other kind of media imho. and as for kim, i know she starts to volunteer in the law again or whatever, i know she goes to cheryl, i know she isn't wearing those loser clothes in the last scene, still, i wish she could've gotten more of her journey – she was one of the main characters... until she wasn't anymore, and you were left to try and solve the puzzle of who is this person and how she's going to fight those demons that haunted her way before the howard tragedy. for a show who made me fall in love with these people's minds and how fucked up they were, the lack of closure or even perhaps realism and depth in the finale in regards to their traumas still makes me so sad

False it’s been 900 years since Saul Gone aired. It actually feels like grief since I don’t typically get that emotionally invested in shows and I don’t see it happening again. I can’t go back and I can’t go forward. just sitting in a corner i haunt 😩

my mind keeps coming back to one element in particular: the handling of mcwexler's mental health.

mental health in bcs lives in my head rent-free and I can barely articulate it. He was able pull out of his mental breakdown using the saul mask one more time, but it wasn’t really addressed 🤷🏻‍♀️ like, Jimmy has intense baggage, criminality-addiction-metaphors plus textbook mental health issues. He clearly has a good heart and is genuinely trying to dig himself out of a hole, but traumatic events keep piling up, and he lost the only people he could turn to for support (and these relationships were unhealthy to begin with). In a show that deals more with realism in the justice system, life in prison thematically works as jimmys ending! - it’s storage space for the mentally ill, addicted, and lonely. cynical and dark? sure!

nothing seems to matter anymore when he hears kim's confessed and then he proceeds to do it as well – seems to me like a classic "love saves you 🥰" narrative more suited for other kind of media imho.

This goes back to my theory theres a reason so many people seemed to think jimmy’s confession must have saved kim from her own punishment. The knowing glance before the the bait and switch confession feels like it should free her because that’s the type of cliche we are used to *in other kinds of media*. If life in prison doesn’t help her and love doesn’t redeem him, we are left with that more cynical dark ending (which doesn’t not work!) But the lighthearted tone from his sorkin-esque speech to the bus chant minimizes just how bleak his ending really is. It feels glib in a way no other character ending was.

The change of heart after he hear’s about Kim’s confession also denies him the same character growth. Kim is still his moral compass. If she told him to confess about lalo when the ada offered the deal (and i suspect when she was leaving him) i think he would have. but at least he became a man worthy of looking kim wexler in the eye! No longer a dog in kim’s presence now that he regained his humanity! humanity he lost from… trauma 🫠

There is “up to interpretation” and there is confusing. i chose confusing since gould and co have more recently doubled down on their *official* version (that jimmy wont get out early, probably wont see kim again). i would like a sane reason why they felt the need to backtrack on this instead of leaving us in peace.

as for kim, i know she starts to volunteer in the law again or whatever, i know she goes to cheryl, i know she isn't wearing those loser clothes in the last scene, still, i wish she could've gotten more of her journey – she was one of the main characters... until she wasn't anymore, and you were left to try and solve the puzzle of who is this person and how she's going to fight those demons that haunted her way before the howard tragedy.

it's frustrating the way kim was such an afterthough in 6b after being one of the most nuanced female character’s i’d ever seen. She just… wasn’t there, and when she was there she didn’t talk. i love rhea, she deserves all of the awards, but iif people think her best performance was sobbing on a bus I will riot. LET HER SPEAK!

We went from “i had to time of my life with you” to her telling some rando “when i knew him, he was [good]” like who is this person!!! We were so used to the slow organic character development there was definitly shock value in how she was post-time jump. trauma and guilt impact people, plus it’s been 6 years, and us obsessive freaks can take a stab at connecting these gaps! but honeslty i could do the same thing if instead of girloser floridakim, she became a train jumping hobo or a wall street trophy wife or an alcoholic working at piggly wiggly or whatever. She has become the blank puzzle.

for a show who made me fall in love with these people's minds and how fucked up they were, the lack of closure or even perhaps realism and depth in the finale in regards to their traumas still makes me so sad

it's still so frustrating that this show treated these characters with such nuance and depth, only to end things in. black and white. my theory with bob’s cantankery is its exactly like that. he keeps saying how miserable playing jimmy was, as such a lonely sad character… he suffered for his art and for what? for people to think he had a simple ending? Misery forever:)

#annoying tw #sorry jess I plagiarized whole sections from our convo #help i'm still at the restaurant

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raredrop · 1 year

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i want to express my thoughts on the professor(s)

gonna split this into two (or three bc i do wanna talk about the ai) chunks bc they remind me of two other characters from previous games

first half: the villain’s motive

every pokemon villain (or the closest thing they might have to one considering a lot of them arent....evil per say) has a motive, a reason, a plot, a plan, whatever potato patato

the professor wanted to bring prehistoric (sada) or futuristic (turo) pokemon to live side the present pokemon with the time machine they worked on with the AI professor but that would prove to completely ruin the ecosystem and who knows what else if they had gotten out (and like one DID get out already, donphan)

the professor hand waves it off as part of nature, and for this i wanna say the professor kinda....in a way reminds me of colress from bw2 in that his whole thing was that it was less he was evil and more that he was just doing things bc it allowed him to do science (not to mention he got to more or less repent for this)

does this make them evil for it? mmmmmmmmmmm???? i wouldnt put him on the same level as most of the other ones (like giovanni or ghetsis, or even the gen 3 team even if in oras they wised up at the end)

i need like a scale of morally grey-ness to see where that goes bc....

there’s the whole PPP that protects the time machine, i mean why go through such measures to set up something that would attack people (i get it was probably bc of everything that happened leading to the professors death) but come on man....

AND the second chunk: arven.

arven arven arven, much like lillie, n, silver, and others before him....arven was neglected by his parent (considering either his mom or dad depending on what version ur playing, walked right on out....which is currently speculated to be the other professor...specially since he looks like both of them) and had to raise himself

hes traumatized for years, he has a jealousy and hatred for the box legendary (until you help him warm up to it) his only close friend is his pokemon who got hurt in the very place his parent is stuck in

and on top of that he doesn’t even get proper closure with his “remaining” parent bc they died (turo means future and sada means past which means THEYRE NOT PRESENT AAAAAAAAA)

but there is the AI.......

my final section: the AI professor

i do wish we had gotten to hear more about the AI, if pokemon did more flashbacks, or maybe a journal from their POV (since theres journals on the way down from the og professor)

It’s very interesting how despite they are more or less a perfect recreation of the professor....they developed on their own after the fact to want to go against the professor’s dream, that it no longer wanted to do what it was even built to do

and while the ai professor does say that the original professor did care about arven....its hard for me to really accept that....but i do think if the ai was allowed to be free maybe they could have cared for him on their own

(which is a whole nother can of worms to think about)

so do i think the professor is evil, i dunno, do i think their neglectful of things outside of their research and dreams and UH ALSO THEIR SON? very much yes

do i think the professor is well written for the role theyre supposed to fill??? i also dont really know? i think the overall story is one of the best but we dont get a lot of time with the professor (both human and ai) until the very end

and my like ideal of a well written pokemon villain (at least in the main games i dont even wanna talk about pmd whogh) is ghetsis....holy heck i still think hes like the worst guy ever (specially since after gen 6 villains got more not completely evil, and even then i think lys was pretty weak. but even then i think some are just written worse than others even if they arent fully evil COUGH ROSE COUGH)

so i dunno, if theres dlc and we learn anything more maybe i’ll have more thoughts, maybe they wont even cover anything else about the professor...maybe i’ll have to wait for something like animation or something to have more info (assuming they dont do to him whatever the heck they did to lusamine in the anime....i didnt even watch the anime and from what i know it was....weird)

and as a final note i hope this doesnt sound like im excusing the professor for what they did, no matter how evil their plan was i dont think it excuses the FACT THEYRE A PIECE OF TRASH PARENT AND ARVEN I AM YOUR PARENTS NOW

#scarvio spoilers #pokemon spoilers #i keep wanting to say he bc i played violet but #like exTREME spoilers if u havent gotten to the way home yet do not pass go #someone with more brain cells pls give me the video essay i need #also its funny how clavell not only fills the professors role more traditionally than they do but his name is also fitting of how other #professors are named

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midyearflowers · 1 year

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major scarlet/violet spoilers below

so i finished the main story yesterday and man that was really good. i absolutely love the subversion of the AI trope. usually in stories with AI its the AI that goes rogue, but this time it was the human that was moving forward and damn the consequences. like its always "the AI has no emotions and cant feel love therefore it doesnt care about human life and will do whatever" but this time the AI didnt actually need any of that to do the right thing. like i loved the whole "there is no logical reason to allow such a tragedy to occur", its so refreshing to see in a narrative honestly. like i am all about stories where love prevails and power of friendship yada yada, but sometimes its important to acknowledge that sometimes those things make us do bad things or overlook certain misdeeds. its getting the other side of the coin and it was nice to see

especially with how at first the AI was acting even though it believed it would be destroyed, it still knew that the time machine was far too dangerous and needed to be stopped. it did get a sort of "happy ending" with going to the past and getting its own adventure, but it had no way of knowing that would happen. it was fine with being destroyed or erased. reminds me of grovyle from the mystery dungeon games. working towards a better future even if you wont be part of it

and while i wasnt too clear on the timeline of when the original professor died, i almost felt like the AI cared more for Arven than the OP. like im no parent but even i know housing an unfamiliar creature of great power with your newborn is asking for a bad time. as much as death is not great when its before old age, at least it got the professor and not the, yknow, innocent child who had no say in the arrangement. i really feel for Arven cause its like, yea the professor was a famous genius, but no, their work was NOT more important than their actual literal child. why have a kid if you dont even want one? itd be different if they included him in their work as like an apprentice or something, but they literally just fucked off to the center of the earth and then never spoke to or emailed him again after a while. at least he knows the truth now and can move on and heal. im glad the AI at least told him they were proud of him and allowed him to have that closure. it said that his parent truly did love him, but i almost wonder if that was the AIs feelings after time and not the originals. or how the OP started but as they became consumed by their dream that faded. idk i just wanna tell Arven its ok, its not his fault and theres nothing wrong with him, his parents actions arent on him. i hope in time he can recognize that koraidon/miraidon are also victims of the OP and they can move on together

#gwyn tinvaak #i have thoughts but i cant put them into words good #this game was awesome i really wish they had been given time to polish and flesh it out #pokemon sv #pokemon sv spoilers

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daughteroftheman · 28 days

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man youre actually delulu tf

"i was just to entertain him" bitch are you fucking crazy? he actually got over his fucking fears to be with you and youre gonna dumb down all his efforts into him just being some asshole who wanted something to do ??? are you fucking kidding me?? dumbass bitches when the guy who says hes a bad boyfriend isnt just overly insecure he actually has problems that need talking through in a non-aggressive way sometimes !! holy shit :OO like omfg if youre still gonna be obsessed with my boyfriend at least do the mf justice you dumb bitch. fucking "we did that too" tf you mean?? match pfps?? yeah dumbfuck a lot of couples do that you werent special ... like dude. werent you the same bitch who caused him to talk to me less bc your ass was so jealous?? honey this shit isnt bc hes my bf weve always been doing this youre just delusional and like to pretend like you know shit bc you cant handle that youre genuinely a fucking idiot. esp w all the dumbass shit youve said to jeffrey and then to go around and go through some manic episode of hating but loving my bf?? bro get a fucking grip. i know im not a perfect partner but at least im self aware and not such a pussy i wont even admit it. "its the last conversation for closure" ass bitch PLEASE if youre not gonna talk to him again THEN STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM ON FUCKING TUMBLR.COM knowing damn well he can fucking see he just doesnt care enough about you anymore to check bc hes actually moved on. probably because he wasnt the one missing out on a great partner, you were. like honestly bro wtf did you expect from the guy who you blow up on all the time knowing damn well he hates conflict ?? like wtf type of asshole are you ?? claiming he was your best friend and you loved him so much then whyd you treat him like such fucking shit. youre not the fucking victim youre a fucking bitch.

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kerobin · 5 months

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ive been seeing a lot tiktok videos about closure, the same nights ive been thinking about it a lot. i dunno how its algorithm works pero makailang scroll na ko at puro about discussion related to that ang napapanood ko. and ive been learning a lot imho. mostly the gist is that you dont really need it. the closure. u think it would be this big thing, like a revelation or a redemption of some sort. like its the last piece to the big picture but in actuality, its wont do much. it wont change anything, no matter how much you want it. no matter how much you beg for it.

whats funny though is that just like the rest of the people who have been left without any proper closure, i thought it would make me feel better had i just gotten the closure i deserved. na at least it would answer some questions id been asking myself at night. but boy did i think wrong.

i had made a big deal out of thinking i wouldnt get the closure i needed. everything i wrote revolved around being angry all the time, thinking that the big hole in my chest would be filled if i just got the answers to my remaining questions. na ang dahilan kung bakit di pa rin ako maka move on sa mga bagay o taong nagdaan sa buhay ko ay dahil hindi ko namang nakuhang isara ang pinto at mapagpaalaman nang maayos. na ang dahilan kung bakit patuloy akong nagpapanumbalik ay dahil naiwang bukas ang daan sa nakaraan. ang galit ko ay nanggagaling sa kaalamang ako na naman ang napagiwanan.

perhaps this is also the reason why i kept the same person twice, or thrice, whoevers counting. kasi andon pa rin ako sa kaalaman na at the end, if everything doesnt go as plan, maybe this time ill get the closure i need from the same person. and i did get it. or i like to think i did. but it wasnt as fulfilling as i thought it would be. it wasnt as rewarding. it wasnt this big thing, like a revelation or a redemption of some sort. kasi closure is still a goodbye no matter what. just a fancy way of putting it. hindi mo naman iclclose ang mga thingz sa buhay mo if youre still not willing or ready to close it so what difference does it make? what purpose? for what? for what? it only serves the one who left, diba? to absolve themselves of any responsibilities. any collateral damage. kasi at the end of the day, closure is still a goodbye. and youre still the one being left behind, pondering about it after all this time.

#me

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shipsandlattes · 3 years

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So I know everyone has already dissected this scene to its core, but it’s taken me a good 48 hours to digest this and I just needed to get it out.

I’m an aspiring actor, I’ve been training for a long time, with a lot of amazing teachers. I’ve watched a lot of shows and shipped a lot of couples. Some of them beautiful and canon, others, well, let’s just say waiting 22 years and counting for acknowledgement, closure, anything, it’s a damn challenge. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of will-they-wont-they’s, baiting, purposeful ignorance, deliberate fake outs, zero explanations, storylines that basically caused canon disintegration, the works.

In saying that, Dean and Cas were right up there on the list with the other “impossibles” because honestly, I didn’t think the writers would have the guts to do it, but I am so f*cking proud they did. It’s safe to say I’ve watched the scene a good hundred+ times already.

I’ve seen a lot of “controversy” around Dean’s reaction/Jensen’s acting choices and whether or not Dean reciprocates Cas’ feelings, and obviously, I needed to add my own views to the mix.

Just work with me for a minute here.

Dean Winchester is an emotionally repressed trainwreck, and ironically enough, the one that is so full of emotion it hurts to watch. When Cas first starts his speech, he’s confused, really confused because why on earth would Cas start off on a rant now? Billie’s waiting to kill them, he just said he knew something that was more powerful than she was, something that could save them. That’s where he thought this speech was going.

The confusion turns to realisation that it’s a goodbye when Cas starts telling him how incredible he is, how his entire essence is love. Go back and watch the scene again, when Cas says “you’re the most caring man on Earth”, you physically see Dean look down, his eyes searching, he’s actively trying to make sense of what’s happening, he knows what’s coming and you can see him coming to terms with the shock of the words being said to him. He then looks directly at Cas. That look, that was pure shock.

Also, notice how he doesn’t stop Cas from talking? He doesn’t interject, make a joke, doesn’t talk about how there is no time for this now, they’ve got to at least try and stop Billie. He. says. nothing. He listens, he listens like I’ve never seen Dean listen before. Because it’s sinking in now.

When Cas really starts crying, when he says “you changed me, Dean”, you can actually see the pain in Dean’s eyes. He’s no longer in control of his emotions, he’s crying too. He’s never seen Cas like this, so raw, and vulnerable and human. This is the hardest, most emotional conversation they’ve both ever had. They are talking about the one thing that everybody knows, but is never addressed. When it wasn’t talked about, they could deny it, live in the lie. Once it’s said aloud, it’s real and they can’t turn back.

This above series of interactions is the part that kills me the most. The moment Cas says “because it is”, that’s the exact moment of realisation. Look at that last GIF, really look. He’s just worked it out, that he is Cas’ true happiness. He knows what’s coming before Cas even says it. Go back and watch the scene again, they pulled that off so well, the way the music swells at this exact moment. Jensen is giving us everything here, you can see what’s happening in his head - he is Cas’ happiness. He is the one thing on Earth Cas wants and thinks he can’t have. He is the reason Cas is about to die. He knows what Cas is about to say and he’s not sure he’s ready to hear it, not now, not like this. It’s almost a silent plea not to say it, because he knows. Of course he knows. It’s like he can’t quite believe Cas is really, after all this time, finally going to say it.

And because obviously Jensen decided that that wasn’t enough to break us, the loaded reaction when Cas says “I love you” has me nothing but convinced that it’s reciprocated. Because Dean knows. He’s always known. Those tears, that head tilt, that gulp. He’s so genuinely confused that they’re really having this conversation. It’s like he can’t quite believe that this is the reality before him because he’s been living in that denial, in that self-loathing and unlovable layer he believes to be true. He’s been under the ‘what if... but it could never be’ umbrella for so long.

What also makes this real is that there isn’t anyone else around this time. When “I love you’s” have been said before, they have always been able to deflect it, with other people or other words. Now it’s just the two of them. No deflecting, no running away. Dean is forced to hear it, to absorb it, to realise it’s for nobody else but him.

Now, I don’t know if you guys felt this, but when Dean says “Don’t do this, Cas”, he wasn’t just referring to Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty, he’s telling Cas that he can’t just say this, not now, knowing he’s going to die, knowing that Dean won’t get a chance to think, to process, to say what he needs too. I keep staring at that GIF above, Dean is breaking down, I’m almost convinced that Jensen was using an “I love you too, please just stop this” inner monologue for this bit. Look at the way he’s looking at Cas before he realises the Empty has started materialising and turns around. That’s a look of pure heartbreak. Trust me when I tell you, it’s really hard to keep those inner thoughts inside if you’re so in the moment - actually, don’t just take my word for it, read any acting book, ask any actor, it’s so hard to keep that in and sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you do - it’s in both the resistance and the letting go that the gold happens. This my friends, is gold.

Did anyone else hear “Cas, I-”, well, regardless of whether or not it was an “I” or a very sharp breath, the outcome is the same. Dean’s gone into immediate panic mode. The Empty at one end and Billie at the other, and all poor Dean wants to do is gather his thoughts on not what to say but how to say it. I don’t think he comprehended just how little time he had, he was so focused on what was being said that the reality of the situation caught him completely off guard.

Also, I know this post was about dissecting Dean’s reaction, but can we sidebar a minute to talk about Cas as he pushes Dean out of the way? He’s sobbing, he’s fully crying. That hit me really hard, I’ve never seen Cas cry like that, I’ve never seen Misha get to play that level of emotion before and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch since The Doctor and Rose and Buffy and Spike, to which by the way, I find many parallels between those couples and this scene.

Speaking of crying, that brings me to this: Dean slumped on the floor, ignoring a call from Sam, sobbing his heart out knowing he’s lost everything. Dean-I’m-emotionally-unavailable-Winchester is sobbing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall ever seeing Dean cry like this before either, the sobbing was so evident and piercing in that silence. The look around the room, the burying of his head in his hands, that is a classic writers romantic love trope if I’ve ever seen it, they really pulled out all the stops with this one.

So, to summarise, I think Jensen’s choices and Dean’s reactions were absolutely and utterly perfect. They both did it so well that it didn’t break from character that these two emotionally distant and repressed men are in love and finally voicing it. Jensen barely said two words and still managed to cause mass coronary’s across the fandom. That my friends is what you call a brilliant actor. I bow down to the talents of these two amazing human beings.

Before I leave this novel, I have to say there are now a few things I’m going to need from the powers that be to not screw this up, help me manifest this:

1. Dean gets to reciprocate his feelings to Cas in person. So, I’m gonna need Cas back and a very emotional Dean.

2. Dean to be actively dealing with heartbreak in the next episode (unless they decided to bring Cas back that soon, which I wouldn’t put past them at this point).

3. Sam to confront Dean about his feelings for Cas, because out of everyone, he’d be the one to hit Dean with the truth of his fears. Sam knows. Sam is supportive. Sam sees it all.

4. I’m gonna need some physical affection, cause after 12 years of nonsense, we damn well deserve it. A hug, and not just any old reunion hug, a proper, this is different now hug. A kiss because hello, in love out loud now. Forehead touching, handholding, really gonna need the works here.

5. A happy ending for the two of them, one way or another. We’ve never had one, it’s time.

Okay, have at it now, let’s speak these into existence please.

Note: GIFs are not mine, I did not make them, credit to owners who I’m not sure of, but they’re beautiful, thanks for making them. EDIT: I’ve just been informed that these gorgeous gifs belong to @michaeldean and @inacatastrophicmind!

#supernatural #SPN #DeanCas #destiel #deanwinchtser #castiel #15x18 #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #actor #acting #I ship it #shipper #i love you #spn spoilers #opinion piece #thoughts #my two cents #ships and lattes

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itstimetotheorize · 3 years

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Miraculous Ladybug, Cat Noirs future

Miraculous Ladybug season 4 has definitely proven itself to be one very interesting season, every episode thus far has presented some major twist, plot reveal and has even set up a variety of small hidden problems capable of coming back to haunt the characters of the show. But of all the issues presented thus far within season 4, it appears one issue in particular has begun to circle around the miraculous fandom, causing an enormous amount of worry. The issue I am refereeing to is of course cat noirs sudden lack of assistance within the miraculous superhero team.

What exactly lead fans to feel this way? well, in the episode “lies”, we discover that after the events of “miracle queen”, cat noir had since been left alone for days at a time to watch over Paris with no word of ladybugs whereabouts

, of course we as the viewers know she is busy trying to maintain all her new responsibilities as guardian of the miracle box, but the fact that she never once bothered to consider informing cat noir of her sudden disappearance has left many to realize cat noir is once again being left out of the loop and is just as much in the dark as when ladybug kept Master Fu and the other superheroes identities a secret from him back in episode “syren”.

Despite ladybugs new found responsibilities, we see in “lies” that she does in fact wonder about what cat noir thinks of her now that she is the new guardian, when asked, cat noir simply states, “ if it doesn't change things between us, then I'm good with it”.

Despite the worry cat noir had about not being included within ladybugs life as much as he used to be, ladybug and him manage to reconnect with one another in the midst of their fight against truth seeker and lies, providing cat noir a moment of relief from his worry of wondering if ladybugs new guardian duties have left her to busy to ever consider his time necessary ...and yet despite this reconnection, many fans couldn't help but continue to feel worried for cat noir....especially after what ladybug did in “gang of secrets”.

In “gang of secrets”, after no longer being able to bare with the heavy responsibilities as both ladybug and guardian, Marinette finally breaks down and decides to reveal to Alya that she is ladybug!

Unfortunately, ever since this reveal occurred, ladybug has been shown to become more dependent on the abilities of other miraculous heroes to help her defeat a villain rather than have cat noir assist her as he normally does. Granted, its not her, nor cat noirs fault this keeps occurring, after all, the problems he and ladybug are facing in season 4 have become to difficult to resolve with their abilities alone, they need help! but its precisely this extra help which as made cat noir appear to many as inferior and unneeded within every akuma attack.

As this sudden pattern continued throughout season 4, some fans began to feel as if the show was leading up to a disaster similar to cat blanc, others felt the show was planning to have cat noir be replaced by Rena Rouge. Regardless of what some believe, if he does feel like he is being left behind and unneeded, its no surprise why he would feel this way, after all, its not the first time something like this has happened. Back in episode “syren” cat noir specifically states how much he hates having so many secrets revolving around his friendship with ladybug, he knows why she has to keep these secrets but it does not make him feel any better knowing she cant fully trust him, the one person who has stood by her through thick and thin!.

If this situation between him and ladybug is truly beginning to resurface then what could possibly happen to finally convince cat noir that no matter the number of changes and no matter how much ladybug is relying on new superheroes, he and ladybug will always be together and still have the close bond they always had before she became guardian? well...what if the answer was already hinted.

On June 22, 2021, Winny (aka a member of the miraculous staff), released to the public a teaser of a future episode within season 4 of Miraculous Ladybug series, the picture teased was something we had already seen before, it was a picture of ladybug holding the miracle box.

and yes, I understand we have seen this image hundreds of times already, it is after all the main picture pose used for ladybug in the season 4 title card.... however ! , judging by ladybugs body figure within the teaser image, many of us have since come to the realization that this teaser of ladybug holding the miracle box ....may actually be an image of ADULT ladybug holding the miracle box!

So then, what does this mean? it means season 4 may include an episode where ladybug and cat noir... meet their future selves!

Now, seeing future ladybug and cat noir has always been something many fans had been hoping for ever since we get our first glance at future ladybug and cat noir in “time tagger”...the only problem was... we only ever got to see their backs!

However, despite all the excitement over future ladybug and chat noirs possible appearance, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of impact they would cause in the past rather than just take the regular “oh look! their future selves are in the past!” type of storyline.

Well, If cat noir is truly feeling as if he is loosing his bond with ladybug then perhaps it was never ladybug who was meant to give him the closure he needed to know for sure he and ladybug would always be partners, perhaps this was always something he was meant to figure out on his own by talking to the one person who knew him better than ladybug... himself!

Bunnyx always said there was a time for everything and if cat noir and ladybug will really have the chance to meet their future selves, then perhaps it will finally be cat noirs time to receive the answer to the one question he has always wondered about since “Time tagger”, his future relationship with ladybug!

When bunnyx was first introduced she talks about having already remembered how her younger self would evidently meet her future self, well, odds are, future cat noir will have already been aware of the fact that he will also evidently meet his younger self.... except it wont just be to stop a villain....rather, it will be his time to provide the words of encouragement his younger self needed the moment in his life where he knew he felt the most unsure of his future with ladybug!

Where am I going with this? well, what if , just maybe, this one moment between both cat noirs.... is a moment meant to finally reveal to young cat noir how ladybug and him will always be together and fight alongside one another, not just as friends...but as husband and wife! I’d imagine this revelation would be one secret cat noir would be more than willing to keep to himself and look upon anytime he feels like he is being left behind, because no matter what changes may come, no matter how many new superheroes join their team and no matter how many struggles they may face, cat noir will at least be happy to know that he and ladybug will truly be together forever ....but hey!, that’s just a theory...a miraculous ladybug theory!

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug theory #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #MLB #mlb season 4 #MLb s4 #ladybug and chat noir #ladybug and cat noir #Chat noir #cat noir #ladybug #marinette dupan chang #adrien agreste #ladrien #marichat

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technowoah · 3 years

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Revolutions Always Fall

You should've learned from L'Manburg. The Butcher Gang was a mistake.

- REQUESTED!

- I tried to put 2 requests in one here.

- its really long 🤧🤞🏽

Prompts!

13) "You made me lose all my faith and trust in you"

38) "They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.”

47)“Are you satisfied now...?”

⚠︎ memtions of blood, voilence, fighting, swearing, Technoblade's execution episode. Angst.

Masterlist!

Dear Technoblade,

I wont make the same mistakes again

- an old friend. ♤

Technoblade was always a threat, and you learned that from L'Manburg. You had befriended him when he joined Pogtopia and very quickly you two seemed to click. He saw the world through different eyes and that intrigued you. You wanted to be him, live life the way he does it for just a day.

He was a killing machine, he was smart tactical, but still had the thirst for blood that made him be so smart and tacitcal with how he kills.

You on the other hand were not a big fan of killing, but this war was an exception. This war made you practice, it made you angry, it lit a fire underneath you that you didnt know you had. Along with the other members of Pogtopia, Technoblade helped you fight, how to wield a sword, knife, gun, anything that you can get your hands on you turned it into a weapon, you Soon enough you had mastered weapons and you werent so passive.

You questioned yourself if this was living through Technoblade, the need to fight, hunt, to protect. You felt poweful. As you hold your own crafted swords in your hand you know what you can do. You could do so much damage with this sword, he gave you that sword. It wasn't special at all but you made it special, because in your eyes it was.

"You can do so much with a sword, people just don't know how to use it to its fullest potential. They dont know their full potential either. But now you do."

Thats what he said to you in between those stone walls called Pogtopia.

After what he said to you had done so. Used the sword to your full potential, used anything to your full potential. You wanted to be more and more you became.

"You ready?" Technoblade smirked.

"Hell yeah Im ready to kill that bastard." You smiled

"Woah-oh! You weren't saying this a couple months ago."

"Schlatt deserves it. That's not L'Manburg. This is L'Manburg." You stretched out your arms to the others who were gathering armor and polishing their weapons for the battle yet to come.

You smiled knowing this will all end soon, you wouldn't be in a cave anymore, you wouldn't have to hide the fact that you knew where Wilbur was and that he was planning the attack, Pogtopia will be no more and L'Manburg would be back.

"L'Manburg will be back." You said while taking a sword out of a chest.

"Sure." You heard him scoff beside you.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked slightly offended. Wasn't he fighting for the same thing?

"I dont know. Revolutions always fall." He turned his back to you and walked away leaving you to your own thoughts.

You hated it. He was right, he was always right and you hated it. And everyone else did too, they knew he was right. It wasnt what the majority wanted, we wanted L'Manburg while he didn't want to be held by government in the first place. That's what he meant that day in Pogtopia.

L'Manburg, one defeated, was now growing once more. After the "end" of L'Manburg you couldn't forgive him. Your anger and the feeling of betrayal kept growing and growing everyday, every time you picked up that damned sword he gave you. It was the best sword you had, you had enchanted it multiple times. You had to use it, but the only thing was the memories that came with it.

Your anger only worsened as time went on, having to hear about Technoblade and how he was such a threat to L'Manburg only made you want to destroy him and the past you two had created. That would be the closure you needed, but someone was already three steps a head of you.

In spite of your anger you and Quackity had the most magnificent idea to make a gang to finally kill Technoblade for the sake of L'Manburg. The idea was to go confront him at his house and take him back to L'Manburg for an execution. You were on board with the idea 100%. This was better for L'Manburg and better for yourself, finally someone who got you.

Quackity and you planned tirelessly to try and get Technoblade's location and bring him back. The Butcher Gang was made from the cabinet of L'Manburg. During these long days you two grew closer, you two were so different in ways of thinking, but you two shared the same end goal which worked out in your favor. You two went through hell and back just to find out that the easiest way to get to Technoblade was sitting in L'Manburg right at that moment. Philza, some may say Technoblade's only friend at the moment. He was loyal to Technoblade and you dont blame him at all, but you needed to find out where his companion was.

It was all going well, the Butcher Gang had put Phil on house arrest and Tubbo had found a compass that led them straight to Technoblade's location. Everything was going well and according to plan, you didnt want to show it on your face as you saw Technoblade's house from the spot in the woods the Butcher Gang was hiding in, but you wanted this so badly. You didnt where he was going to be, he could've came and bestowed more destruction. It was like knowing he was there, but not knowing when he was going to strike.

The anxiety that came with not knowing where Technoblade was always with you, but now it wont be.

The Butcher Gang ended up taking Technoblade by force back into the city. You were proud that you were all able to get the blood hungry pig-man to come back with you all. He was behind bars with an anvil hanging high over his head. As Tubbo gave his speech your short lived happiness soon faded as a man appeared and smoke filled the area. You started to get attacked by what seemed like Dream and Punz while Tubbo continued to yell for Quackity to pull the lever to finally kill Technoblade.

"Pull the lever Big Q!"

"Kill him Quackity!" You yelled with him.

He did it. The anvil fell fast towards Technoblade's body, but as fast as the anvil landed on him his skin, bones, and blood regenerate and return to its normal state. Your eyes widened as the totem in his hand began to disintegrate into gold dust.

"DAMMIT!" You yelled in agony while Ranboo and Fundy continued to fend off Dream and Punz until they retreated.

Once they did you realized Technoblade was gone, you saw him in the distance running away from the scene, but you couldn't let this happen. You couldn't let the fear of Technoblade being out there doing God knows what forever. The fear of him boiled in your heart as you broke out into a sprint towards Technoblade.

As you ran into a more secluded area you heard footsteps behind you. You glances back to see Quackity following your lead with an axe in his hand. Slowing down a bit you both ran side by side.

"Let's get this son of a bitch!" Quackity huffed as you both came across a cave.

You both knew Technoblade was in there so you both prepared for the mental and physical pain you would both endure. This wasn't like the Butcher Gang where it was 5 against 1, it was 2 against 1 and you've seen Technoblade fight this fight before.

"You ready to kill this bastard?" He calmed his breathing down.

"Of course I am." You kept your eyes foward.

You walked deep into tha cave to see 6 chests and a sign that said "final control room", that bastard. Wanting to be quiet you tried to sneak up on Technoblade, but Quackity's anger got the best of him.

"What the fuck is this Technoblade?! What the hell are you doing here?" He asked gripping his sword too tight.

"It not what it looks like." Technoblade airly laughed. He had an enchanted pickaxe in his hand and an open chest with netherite armor.

"How the hell did that anvil not kill you?!" Quackity yelled.

Technoblade started laughing, he was laughing, he was taunting us. "Do you really think that death can stop me? That you could kill me that easily."

Your emotions tried to get the best of you as you tried not to let frustrated tears fall onto your cheeks.

"How did you do it? What... How did you even do that?"

"You think that can stop me Quackity?" Technoblade asked again.

"Just answer the fucking question!" You yelled before either of them could speak. It was silent for a while before Technoblade slowly spoke up.

"A totem. I used a totem of undying. I always have it on me." He smugly said.

He continued on. "You know what?! You know what? Ive got a lot to say, I was gonna say it at the trial, but we got a little bit interrupted. You know I tried convincing you guys that government was not the answer, the government was actually the cause of all your problems!"

You rolled your eyes as he continued his infamous speech.

"I tried to convince you guys by fighting alongside you as brothers and you cast me aside, you used me. I tried to use force, but you still formed a government! And when I went into hiding, when I retired, when I swore off violence, you hunted me down, you hurt my friends." Technoblade finished.

"Techno you dont understand what we're fighting for!" You started finally finding your voice. "I thought you were for us! You were always against us!"

"I was always for you! I needed you guys to understand!"

"We needed YOU to under-"

Technoblade interrupted you. "You dont understand me! You never did!"

"At least I fucking tried and you gave me so much shit for it! I wanted to be you Technoblade. I wanted to see life through your eyes, I was fascinated by how you walk, fight, your mind."

Your anger began to subside as you continued to speak. "But, you made me lose all my faith and trust in you."

Technoblade laughed again. "Same here! You guys left me! Betrayed me so-"

"So the feeling is mutual." You growled.

It was quite for a minute, but you could feel Quackity's sympathetic stare as you poured your feelings out to a man who dosen't even matter to you.

"They warned me about this." Your arms gestured to the area the three of you were in.

"About what?" Technoblade scoffed.

"About you." You stared at Technoblade. It wasn't a glare, it was more calm.

"Quackity, Tubbo, Fundy...Even Ranboo." You airly chuckled.

You had stopped talking trying to get yourself back together. Quackity caught that you weren't talking anymore so he spoke up.

"What we have up there is a country and what we need here is organization and power. And I dont care how long it fucking takes me or what I have to do to get you Techno. Im going to fucking kill you. Im going to kill you Technoblade." Quackity gripped his axe in his hand.

"I just have one question Quackity." Techno smirked.

"What do you have?" Quackity responded and you took the sword out of the sheath hanging on your hip.

"Do you think you two are enough to kill me? Even unarmed with iron armor?" Technoblade closed the chest that held netherite armor signaling he didn't need that. "Do you think you both could take me?"

"Oh we do." You spoke up. "We need this, Technoblade."

"You know what?" Quackity rose his axe and you followed suit. "Lets find out you son of a bitch!" He charged towards Technoblade and you followed close behind.

Technoblade started running out of the long cave, but you two followed. He threw potions on the ground as he turned around and fought us head on. You were able to get a couple of cuts and hits on him, but he was cutting you more with his pickaxe.

The thing about Quackity was that he thought he was invincible. He kept going full force towards Technoblade, hopefully he would focus on him so you could finally get a critical hit on him. Your heart rate kicked up as your face came too close to his pickaxe. And it kept going, each swing he took towards you became closer and closer until Quackity slashed his arm with his axe.

Technoblade whipped his head his way. "I have a pickaxe and I'll put it right through your teeth!"

Technoblade swung his axe and slashed Quackity's face, including his eye. He then turned his pickaxe to the flat side and swung it, hitting the side of his head. The blow to his head sent him flying against one of the walls of the cave, knocking him out.

He then turned to you and in a flash you could tatse the metal of his pickaxe as it swiped across your face blinding one of your eyes as well as Quackity's. He had hit you on the side of the head like he did with Quackity. Your body was aching as you fell to the ground, your mind slowly shutting down. You were loosing a lot of blood quickly, and so was Quackity. You two knew you were going to find the strength to get out of this cave and follow Technoblade's path out.

You laid on the cave's cold floor realizing that this was a mistake. You were too loyal, easily swayed, you were a follower. You never knew when to stop, from L'Manburg to Pogtopia to The Butcher Gang you seeked things you couldn't have. You couldn't have L'Manburg, neither Pogtopia, you couldn't kill Technoblade and ease your fears snd anxieties. You need to seek that some where else.

Your mind began to slip, and you fell into unconsciousness.

You should've learned. He was right. Revolutions always fall.

The Butcher Gang was a mistake.

Dear Technoblade,

I remembered the day. It still pains me. The day you spawned those wither. I thought you were the traitor, but turns out I was wrong at the time. Im sorry for that.

I also remember when you left me for dead. But I made it out as you see.

But now I am resigning from L'Manburg. Im going my own way, my own path, and I don't want you on my path.

Think of this as closure, something I never got. As I am writing this I dont know why I am giving you closure, lifting a weight off of your shoulders, you dont deserve it.

I know people say that to you alot.

You really made a dent in this damned place.

I hate what you're doing. You get to live in solitude while we get to live in the debris you left here. I wanted to be like you.

I hate to say it, but I learned a lot from you. I hated what I learned, about myself, about you, about the current state of this horrible place.

I wont make the same mistakes again

Are you satisfied now?

- an old friend ♤

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dodgefred · 3 years

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do you have any ideas as to how you would direct abh/certain scenes if you had the chance

short answer: yes

long answer:

i think overall i would do similar things from mcc because the directing in mcc was exquisite and jessie nelson did a wonderful job, but i would also incorporate some other elements into the show like having an ensemble onstage at all times, having the ensemble integrated into the set like the spring awakening revival does, and i would want everything to feel much more intimate. mcc already does a great job with the intimacy but i really would want to expand on that feeling and make the audience feel as if they’re a member of the bunker listening to this story too.

another thing i would keep is the parallels between bunker visuals and wonderland concepts, like the gas mask flamingos. i would like to expand on this, though, and make the parallels used in the costumes much more noticeable.

the plot structure of alice by heart, in my mind, is alice spencer telling the story of alfred’s death (whether she realizes it or not). i’d have alice begin and end the show reading her book. the music of west of words would begin as soon as alice opens to page one, and the sirens wouldn’t get introduced until after her first verse. this lets us get introduced to alice as a character before we’re introduced to her situation. this also should be the only time alice is alone onstage, and the stage would be bare.

after the siren, the rest of the ensemble would run onstage with furniture and build the bunker in a flurry of bodies and chaos surrounding alice. alfred would run in front of alice before running to his cot, and the rest of this scene would proceed with alice still standing in the middle of all of the chaos around her. her book is still open in her hands. she is our narrator.

my next major point of change would be with down the hole. the bunker kids changing into their wonderland forms would be more clear, and would feature more dramatic onstage quick changes during each of their respective verses or lines. instead of alice twirling into her blue dress, she manipulates the rest of the cast into changing themselves. i don’t think alice would change into her blue dress until alfred sings his “down and down we fall” verse. alfred would playfully remind her to change herself, too. they’re best friends and have played this game countless times and we need to show it onstage. also i think alfred deserves to wear rabbit ears. that’s all.

an alternative decision would be alice starting the show in her blue dress in order to represent how she’s constantly with “[her] head in wonderland.”

i think mcc didn’t do enough with still. a bit of a spoiler for later is that i really want to keep the lobster dance, or at least something similar to it. however, i’d introduce it in still rather than in those long eyes. i’d introduce it as an overarching theme of their relationship. just like wonderland, the lobster dance is something they do quite often; often enough for alfred to know how to do it even when he isn’t fully paying attention. in still, alfred would still try to be evading the discussion and escape alice’s grasp, but she’d try and do their dance together. they don’t finish the dance before the end of the song.

the only major change i would make to chillin the regrets is i’d have the caterpillars lay down more for the scene before. they can get up and do fun choreo with alice afterwards (during the song) but i think she should work more for the attention they give her (during the scene), like alice has to in the original story. they should definitely be more apathetic towards her at first. i’d also like to introduce some sort of dance motif in chillin that alice echoes to alfred in the key is when she tries to get him to smoke. in chillin, i also think it would be cool if there was a smoke machine onstage making the stage as foggy as alice’s head is. if she as our narrator doesn’t know what’s going on, how are we supposed to? i think the smoke can fade for the key is, because we actually need to see that one for the plot, but i think even so there could be some sort of playing with shadows and silhouettes that would be really cool.

i think the bird scene would be really fun with puppetry! the puppets could be made out of items that would only be found in the bunker, like the same fabric the cots are made of, buttons that match the ones on the characters’ clothes, and the gas mask beaks. the birds would just be so much fun as puppets. skipping ahead a bit here, but i also think the duchess in manage your flamingo should have a pig puppet to reference the original a bit more closely.

as mentioned earlier, those long eyes would have a dance motif that would continue throughout the show, and i think while the dance in those long eyes lasted longer than it did in still, it still should be cut off by the sirens and shouldn’t be complete. alice still doesn’t have closure for their relationship by this point, so the dance shouldn’t either.

for most of the show, the cheshire puss should be hooded and perched on an upper platform whenever shes giving alice advice. when alice wont listen to her, she finally snaps and sings some things fall away. she gets on alice’s level and finally reveals her face.

i don’t have many more specific ideas until the end because most of the songs in the middle chunk of the show are just alice running around wonderland and i’m not a choreographer so i’m not really sure what i’d do exactly with these. but i do want to bring up the jabberwocky. i’m obsessed with what mcc does by making alice’s fear of the doctor and the soldiers physical, but i think we could take brillig braellig as an opportunity to bring back the puppets. i think it could be an entirely dark stage except for alice and the jabberwocky. the jabberwocky can be made entirely of white fabric and have images of war and alice’s other fears and traumas projected onto him. the stage can be lit from below so we get some interesting shadows. if we want to incorporate something like mcc did with butridge literally being the jabberwocky, he can be dressed in all white as well and have the puppet follow him around the stage to have more physical interaction with alice. in this scene, i imagine the puppet being pretty big so the ensemble’s place onstage would be helping in puppeteering so the stage would feel emptier than it actually is.

i’m obsessed with the falling rose petals and the coughing before another room in your head in mcc but i think that part could really benefit from some modifications. instead of them being in an empty stage, i think there could be a carpet of white roses beneath them and soap blood could literally come from alfred all over them and all over him. the roses aren’t the only roses in that scene.

in i’ve shrunk enough, i think it would be cool for the characters to go up in a puff of smoke and exit out of a trap door in the stage when alice poofs them out of existence. alice should be the only one poofing everyone away, as she is our narrator. i also think there could be a moment where alfred quickly runs backstage and changes back into his original hospital gown for the final scenes. (in terms of logistics i think the hospital gown could stay beneath his white rabbit costume so he’s able to more quickly change). when he returns onstage, it should be the end of the song. in the vassar reading, at the end of i’ve shrunk enough, alfred says “time’s up” after the final notes of the song. i would want to bring that back. alfred says it as he returns onstage, and the lighting suddenly shifts to two spotlights — one on alice and one on alfred — that merge as the two get closer throughout the next scene.

in afternoon, we bring back the lobster dance. this should be the only time the dance comes to a close. alice isn’t ready for alfred to die, but she’s a hell of a lot more ready than she was during still. she can continue doing the dance by herself after alfred leaves.

after alfred leaves the stage, alice also picks up the book. throughout the show it was probably left downstage in one of the corners of the stage, so here alice picks it back up and finishes it on alfred’s cot. the spotlight follows and doesn’t disperse to reveal the rest of the ensemble until the final notes of the song when alice finally closes the book.

throughout winter blooms, the characters should dismantle the bunker like they brought it on in the beginning. they each change into their wonderland costumes once again (or at least bits and pieces of them, since winter blooms is a pretty quick song, but i doubt their wonderland costumes are too drastically different from their bunker costumes regardless) throughout the rest of the song. at the very end, i’d have alice come centerstage once more, standing in the same place she was during alfred’s death. she’d sing to an empty stage, for the most part, until her final “and there you are.” alfred comes onstage (whether he comes onstage himself or he’s brought up through the stage on a lift or a turntable, i don’t know) in his white rabbit costume once again, and alice pulls him into an embrace as the stage fades to black once more.

#can u tell ive thought about this a lot #alice by heart #answered #anon #this wasn’t proofread sorry if it’s bad

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