Tumgik
#i need a beta for my novel
gojonanami · 1 month
Text
I appreciate the comments on my planning and flow of the prof geto series so much
…honestly I planned each as it came up and parts 4, 5, and 6 only exist because me and Hannah were too ambitious with the events of part 4
aside from just key plot points I just kinda made it up as I went along—and even some points were added on (like the end of part 5 was not planned to happen at all until I was in the middle of writing it).
but anyway, this is all to say I am ✨unorganized✨
9 notes · View notes
i-can-even-burn-salad · 8 months
Note
Allosexual romance. From what I gather, you don't read it, but is there anything that might tempt you to?
From this ask game!
Wait wait wait wait what makes you think I don't read it? Then I wouldn't read anything 😂
(I currently barely read anything, but that has time reasons 😭 don't try to juggle 3 projects and a mmo, guys. I need a new number on the exhaustion scale.)
I spent years reading the genre of bodyguard/ex-soldier/whatever romance, because there's a good bit of violence and a guaranteed happy end. I also spent years digging around for queer love stories, which honestly ends up being m/m 90% of the time, which usually means there's 2 more penises than I care to read about.
Most of the books in my book recs tag are definitely very allo.
Do I think that drawn out blowjob could have been replaced by a nice whipping? Hell yeah. But oh well. What can you do. With the exception of fewer books than I need my fingers for to count, there just isn't anything out there once you leave middle grade behind.
Sure, there's completely romance-less fantasy epic, but I don't have the energy for that anymore, either. Sex scenes are easier to skip than politics.
But finding so many ace chars (and authors 😅) here has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, and they definitely get a headstart on the scale for falling in love with them.
6 notes · View notes
asteria7fics · 2 months
Text
Waiting for my betas to read my next fic like
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
zombizombi · 10 months
Text
gosh we're SO close to finishing this book. so close.
and we're at 80944 words!!
i think we've got. maybe 2-ish chapters to go.
4 notes · View notes
blackwldcw · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
@headlessbutnothopeless asked: ♚ ((Mentioned it in DMs, but I really like the short drabbles of RP events - do you write/post fanfiction at all?))
{Hey! Thank you for sending one of these in <3 I very much enjoy your blog, too, based on what I’ve seen.
And I used to. Unfortunately, not anymore. I’ve been working on a novel unaffiliated with any fandom in my free time, as well as this blog.}
2 notes · View notes
antique-symbolism · 2 years
Text
DO I have to be insane about my history and science research for the second draft, or can that be a third draft problem?
9 notes · View notes
savrenim · 2 years
Text
oops having way too much of an idea for an Extremely Overworked And Tired millennial-mood of an overworked treated-like-a-PTL (despite being the equivalent of tenured professor) teacher at a magic college and suddenly desperately want to write this novel(la?) instead of facing my reality of being an Extremely Overworked And Tired Millennial PTL who really should be doing prep work for my courses
4 notes · View notes
dice-wizard · 8 months
Text
Okay writers listen up
I'm gonna tell you about how I wrangled my shitbird brain into being a terrifying word-churning engine and have written over 170K words in under a year.
I wanna be clear that before unlocking this Secret Technique I was a victim of my unmedicated ADHD, able to start but never finish, able to ideate but not commit and I truly and firmly believed that I'd never write a novel and such a thing was simply outside of my reach.
Now I write (and read!!) every day. Every. Single. Day. Like some kind of scriptorial One Punch Man.
Step the First
Remove friction between yourself and writing.
I personally figured out how to comfortably write on my phone which meant I didn't have to struggle with the insurmountable task of opening my laptop.
I don't care if this means you write in a Discord server you set up for yourself, but fucking do it. Literally whatever makes you write!
(if you do write somewhere that isn't a word processor PLEASE back your work up regularly!)
Step the Second
Make that shit a habit. Write every day.
For me, I allow myself the grace that ANY progress on writing counts. One sentence? Legal. Five thousand furious hyperfixated words? Also legal.
Every day, make progress. Any progress.
I deleted Twitter from my phone and did my best to replace doomscrolling with writing. If I caught myself idly scrolling I'd close whatever I was looking at and open my draft and write one (1) sentence until I made THAT a habit, too.
Step Two-point-Five
DO NOT REWRITE. If you are creating a first draft, don't back up or restart. Continous forward motion. Second drafts and editors exist. Firsts are for ripping the fucking thing out of your brain.
If you're working on revisions after an editor or beta readers or whoever has given you feedback, then you can rewrite that's OK (and it counts as your writing for the day!)
Step the Third
Now that you've found a comfortable way to write and are doing it every day, don't stop. Keep doing it. Remember, just one sentence is all you need. You can always do more, but if one lousy sentence is all you can manage then you're still successfully writing.
Remember: this is what worked for me. Try things until you find what works for you.
You can do it. I believe in you.
5K notes · View notes
popcorn-plots · 2 months
Text
I should be doing homework but instead...
(idek if this is popular anymore, I just need motivation tbh)
1 note and I'll go take a shower
25 notes and I'll get off Tumblr and finish my homework.
50 notes and I'll put away my laundry
100 notes and I'll fix my sleep schedule
150 notes and I'll start eating breakfast before school for the rest of the school year
200 notes and I'll tell my parents what I want for my birthday
250 notes and I'll start handing out my resume/applying to jobs [in progress]
300 notes and I'll start running 1 mile every week
350 notes and I'll finish/publish a wip [trans Stephen fic, the public has determined]
400 notes and I'll finish the next chapter of BtSA [finished, being beta-ed before posting]
450 notes and I'll spend 10 minutes a day working on my novel (;-;)
500 notes and I answer my emails
550 notes and I get a pixie cut (I've been wanting a shorter cut for months) [LOOK HERE]
600 notes and I'll fix my Doctor Strange cosplay (and post pictures) [new magnets came, once I fix it, me and my friend are going to do a photo shoot]
(1000 notes and I'll come out as genderfluid to my therapist, despite how terrifying it is)
(1500 notes and I'll come out to my favorite teacher OR my ally YW leader)
(if, for some reason, and probably with divine intervention, we hit 20,000 notes..... I may consider coming out to my parents.)
2K notes · View notes
gotchaocha · 1 year
Text
Ughh stuck on writing a scene again 
Tumblr media
On the bright side, I already got 3 chapter of the possible-novel written! 
I try not to think about the fact that I´m trying to write a nove because I feel like understanding the long ass path of trying to acomplish such a thing will stop me from trying in the first place. You know normal stuff
0 notes
lenievi · 2 years
Text
after midnight thoughts are never good, and I’m ready to get cancelled BUT
the Sarek’s son wedding Picard attended? 
Spock/T’Pring
after years, they found a way together again, but the story would also be spones, so it’s kinda like a marriage of convenience but also not, and I might elaborate tomorrow or not
0 notes
Text
How to Handle Critique
I’ve got to admit, I wish I was one of those beatific saints that could take critique with a grateful smile. Instead, I am constantly suppressing a horrible little gremlin at the back of my head hissing at anything from legit plot critiques to grammar corrections. I’m well aware I used that comma wrong, GOD.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very good at suppressing that gremlin, but the little bastard is still there. He exists because even though your brain knows critique can help, it also knows you worked damn hard on the thing being critiqued, and goddamnit, isn’t that enough???
Anyway, here are some tips on getting that gremlin to shut the hell up.
It is okay to be upset. You worked really hard on this thing, and now someone’s gone and pointed out all the things that suck about it. You cannot control how you feel about one thing or another, but you can allow yourself to feel that way and let it pass through you. Let your critique partner you’re taking time to reflect on it, and go for a walk. Do something else. Let those feelings pass through you before you get back to the page.
Give yourself time. Don’t feel like you need to correct things right away (unless they are minimal grammar tweaks). Some pieces of feedback might take awhile to sink in, especially when you’ve got a whole novel to wrestle through. Set it aside, think about something else for a week or so, and get back to it when you’ve reset.
Get a second opinion and/or ducky friend. It can be very hard to tell the difference between good and bad feedback sometimes. Someone who means very well could give feedback that just doesn’t work for you, and someone who doesn’t give two shits could have spotted that fatal flaw right away. You can bring in a real third party or just make use of the old rubber duck technique, where you talk through the issue with a friend or a Naruto poster telling you to Believe it. Working it out out-loud is a really effective technique to figure out what needs fixing and what doesn’t.
Guide critique-givers toward the feedback you want. I, a person who prefers straightforward fantasy and sci-fi, cannot give the fine-tooth points on how a romance novel should work. However, I can give feedback on what works for me and what doesn’t story-wise. Giving your beta reader or critique partner a list of questions to look for will help avoid vague feedback based on how they don’t like the genre. There are many ways to do this, but consider using the following as a base to tailor your own questions:
Did you get a good sense of the setting? Did the worldbuilding make sense to you?
Was this story clear? Where there any parts that seemed confusing?
What characters did you like and why? What characters didn’t you like?
Did any parts of the story feel slow or repetitive?
Did the beginning draw you in? Did the middle keep you engaged? Did the ending feel satisfying?
If you were to write [insert plot point here], what would you do differently?
Again, all of the above questions are up for debate depending on your goal, but we are rarely taught how to give good feedback, and a guided feedback session would work better for you than a free-for-all.
Figure out what kind of advice doesn’t work for you. It is really hard to give good feedback sometimes, even with guided questions. It can also be really hard to figure out why some feedback doesn’t click with you, and that’s a matter of digging deep to figure out what you really want. You may lean toward characters who are horrible fuck-ups, but your partner prefers more steady characters who always strive to do the right thing. Your characters, therefore, may never click with this person, no matter how much they want to help you. And that’s okay! Figuring out where your critique partner is coming from can help you figure out what parts of their feedback isn’t working for you. Sometimes the only thing you can do is thank them and move on, but you might also want to guide them to focus more on the plot or the worldbuilding when looking at your work.
And last, don’t focus on grammar. It’s great if they point that out, but if you end up changing everything, trying to fix that first is a waste of your time. Grammar tweaks last, plot points first.
And, I dunno, give yourself a treat to get that horrible little mind gremlin something else to focus on. Sometimes patting those bad feelings on the head and sending them away can help way more than ignoring them.
305 notes · View notes
navybrat817 · 1 year
Text
Prelude to a Kiss
Pairings: Camboy!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Camboy!Steve Rogers x Female Reader, Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes x Female Reader x Steve Rogers Summary: A chance encounter with two handsome men at a bookstore brings some much needed excitement to your normal routine. Word Count: Over 2.3k Warnings: F/lirting, slight insecurity if you squint, slight feels (it's me), pet name, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers being both gentlemen and menaces (they're warnings, okay?). A/N: Welcome to my Showtime AU! Excited to share my first "actual" Stucky x Reader AU and for our reader to come into her own. ❤️ Beta read by the wonderful @whisperlullaby ​, but any and all mistakes are my own. Thanks to @sgt-seabass, @rookthorne, and @targaryenvampireslayer for letting me scream about this introduction. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It was a normal afternoon when you went into the bookstore, the familiar quiet greeting you as the door shut. You ventured into the shop every couple of weeks to find new books to read. The man behind the desk didn't bother to lift his head long enough from his phone to greet you. You would think after your first few visits he'd at least offer you a smile or suggestion, but he never did. You were used to guys not giving you much attention.
Too ordinary to stand out, I guess.
No, you wouldn't think of yourself that way. Just because most guys tended to gravitate toward your friends instead of you didn't mean anything was wrong with you. The right person would come along and take notice.
"I am a catch," you whispered to yourself as you walked through the shelves.
And a bit lonely.
Your phone dinged before you could dwell on that thought, smiling as your best friend's name popped up. It faded quickly when you read her message. The two of you had a dinner date, but the new guy she was seeing had tickets to some show. You understood. You really did.
Except you were the friend who always seemed to get ditched when a guy came along.
"Have fun!" you sent back. "We'll catch up later."
At least you could get a jump start on a new book and curl up on the couch for the evening. Like you did most nights. Lather, rinse, repeat. When did your life become so monotonous?
"Romance it is," you mumbled as you reached for a blue book on the shelf.
You turned it over to read the blurb on the back, a small smile on your face as you walked down the aisle. From the simpering heroines to feisty protagonists, you enjoyed immersing yourself in the emotions that poured from the pages as the heroes fought to get their girls. Confident, broody, flirty, alluring, you loved them all and wondered if such men you read about existed.
"Oh!"
For a second, you thought you walked into one of the shelves before you realized you bumped into a person. A very large person who didn't budge, even as a couple of books fell to the ground. You dropped to the floor immediately to retrieve them. Why hadn't you been paying attention?
"Oh, my god. I'm so sorry," you said as the guy crouched down to help.
"Nothing to be sorry about," he said, his velvety voice making you lift your head.
In front of you was one of the most handsome men you had ever seen. Long, brown hair, close to his shoulders, framed his face and your mouth went dry as you found yourself staring into his bright blue eyes. You couldn't help but notice the smile on his face as he offered you his hand and effortlessly pulled you to your feet, your cheeks hot as he steadied you. He took up more than half the aisle with his muscular frame and you knew then that a god existed among men.
Like he stepped right out of one of these novels.
"I-I'm sorry," you said again, your gaze going to his hands as he fixed the stack of books he was carrying. "I should've been paying attention to where I was going."
"It's okay," he smiled, looking you up and down with a slow and steady gaze. "You can bump into me again if you want. I don't mind."
You nearly dropped the book in your own hand as you stepped back, his smile shifting to a smirk. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was flirting with you. That couldn't be the case though.
"Oh, you are fucking adorable," he said in a low voice, quickly looking behind him. "Stevie, get over here. Found something special."
"What did you find?" The deep timbre that rang out made your knees weak.
You let out a shaky breath when an Adonis walked around the corner. Just as large as the brunette, but with shorter blonde hair, a smile didn't reach his brilliant blue eyes as he strode over. Instead of light scruff like the man you bumped into, he donned a trimmed beard. He had to shift just to fit beside his friend and you nearly shrank under his gaze. You tried not to openly gape, not knowing which one of them to concentrate on.
So, two gods among men. Like something out of a wet dream. Do I look at the veins in their arms? Do I stare at their chests? How do they even fit in their shirts? Did they purposely choose something that matched their eyes?
The brunette smirked again and gave a single nod toward you. "This precious gem here bumped into me."
You nearly melted to the floor as heat rushed to your face again. The pet name had your head spinning. Or maybe it was the intoxicating scent of their cologne. "It was an accident and I apologized."
The blonde softly smiled at that, but his eyes held a spark of mischief. "I'm sure it was, but I know Buck is not sorry that you bumped into him."
"Not sorry at all," he confirmed.
You shifted your weight and wondered if the bookstore was always so hot or if it was just them. Your skin heated up more under your clothes and your heart beat faster under their attention. Part of you wished you had a bottle of water to dump over your head and cool off. You didn't even want to think about being sandwiched between them because your legs would likely give out.
"Buck and Stevie?" you asked.
"That's what we call each other. I'm Bucky and that's Steve," the brunette smiled, nodding to the blonde. "Can call us Sarge and Cap if you want."
You couldn't put your finger on it, but something about them seemed familiar. Like you had either seen them somewhere or heard of them in passing, but that couldn't be the case. No, you would have remembered them.
Men like them were unforgettable.
"It's nice to meet you," Steve said, giving you an expectant look.
You told them your name after a second and you hoped you didn't look weird when you blinked a few times. You were trying to make sure you were awake and not dreaming. Because who bumped into two gorgeous men like this in a bookstore? That wasn't your life.
Except, today, it was.
“I really should have been looking where I was going. I mean, you're not hard to miss," you said, doing your best not to ogle at Bucky. "Neither of you are. I mean that in a good way."
"You aren't hard to miss either. I also mean that in a good way," Bucky smiled.
"I agree," Steve said, his eyes sweeping over you before you glanced at yourself.
You wondered what they saw exactly. It wasn't that you looked bad. You always left your place with confidence in your appearance. You just weren't used to most guys looking anymore.
Or maybe, just maybe, some are and I'm the one who isn't paying attention.
Bucky gently pried the book from your hand, his fingers lingering against yours. "And I'd like to pay for that."
"Oh, no. You don't have to," you argued as he added the book to his pile.
You noticed then that he held a couple of science books while Steve had novels on art. It intrigued you as both were fascinating subjects in their own way. You had a feeling both of them were the same way: captivating, wondrous, and deep.
"I want to."
"A gentleman would ask to get her a drink, too," Steve teased.
"I don't know if I'm a gentleman," Bucky mused as he looked at you. "But I would also like you to have a drink with us. Then I'll accept your apology."
What would the sassy heroine say in this situation?
"I-" you almost sputtered.
Not that.
"Now you're just being mean, Buck. It was an accident and she apologized," Steve chastised, but he smiled at you.
"I'm not," Bucky swore, clutching his chest with one hand. "Hurts right here where you bumped me. A drink with you would make us both feel all better."
Steve regarded you carefully. "Unless you have a boyfriend you need to get back to. Or girlfriend."
You couldn't help licking your lips, not knowing just how enticing the gesture was. It was dizzying to be on the receiving end of their stares again, yet you couldn't tear your eyes away as you looked between them. Was it wrong to enjoy the attention these strangers were giving you?
"No, I'm not seeing anyone," you said.
And no rings on their fingers, but no way can they be single.
Instead of turning to walk the other way, Bucky moved forward and bent his head. "Lucky us," he whispered against your ear before he brushed past you. "Mmm. You smell sweet. Like flowers," he added over his shoulder.
You bit back a whine before Steve gave you an assuring smile. You admitted to yourself earlier that you were lonely. Had you sent out some sort of vibe to the universe to get them to talk to you? Or did you manifest them into existence?
"I hope we aren't making you uncomfortable. Buck can come on a little strong when he sees something he wants," Steve said as he gently put a hand on your back to guide you. "Though I can't say I blame him in this case."
“No, it’s okay. He seems nice," you said, smiling to yourself at the compliment. "Even if he needs a drink to accept an apology.”
Steve's chuckle had you shivering as you made your way to the front of the store. "A drink he plans to pay for along with your book," he said, adding his small stack to the pile on the desk.
Standing behind them was a mistake as your gaze went right to their asses. You wondered if your friends would believe you if you told them about the two perfect specimens who could be models if they wanted to. Maybe they were since you had no clue what they did.
Stop staring. Don't think about grabbing their asses. Did they paint their jeans on? God, I need to get laid.
As if Bucky knew you were looking, he glanced over his shoulder and winked. You averted your gaze after that. He was clearly the more playful of the two, but something in his eyes told you he was a man you should take seriously. And Steve? You didn't ever want to be on the receiving end of upsetting or disappointing him.
Not like I'll ever find out. They're not actually taking me for a drink. They'll go their way and I'll go mine.
Bucky thanked the cashier before he turned and handed you your book with a card on top. "Stevie and I are gonna grab a drink at The Howling Commandos in a half hour if you wanna join us. It's just around the corner," he explained as you moved away from the counter. "If not, there are our numbers if you ever wanna chat. Just spare me the heartache and wait 'til we leave before you throw it out."
You curiously ran a finger over the card. It had both Bucky and Steve's names on them, but no business listed. It intrigued you even more now.
Who are you two?
"Thank you for buying my book. You really didn't have to do that," you said, touched that he was kind enough to do that. "And I'm not going to throw your card out."
No one in their right mind would do something like that.
"Thank you. I would've had to listen to him whine all night," Steve said, nudging his friend.
"Not all night. Most of it," Bucky teased. "And it was nothing. Does that mean you'll join us for a drink?" he added, his tone casual, but his gaze hopeful.
I would let you both devour me and I wouldn't object.
"You're really asking me?"
"Yeah, we are," Steve answered, his gaze almost as soft as Bucky's.
You wondered if it was a good idea. As charming as they were, you didn't know them. They didn't give you bad vibes though or the impression that they were playing a prank. Your gut told you to take a chance. Because your couch and books would always be there, but how many opportunities like this would you get?
Maybe they see that I'm a catch. And if it's just a drink and nothing more, it's nice to make new friends.
"I'll join you," you replied, your heart racing when they both smiled. It gave you the boost of confidence to flirt back a little. "If only to spare your feelings."
Both of their eyebrows shot up when you giggled and you took great pleasure in them laughing with you, like the three of you were sharing a private joke.
"Careful, little gem," Bucky smiled as he held the door open for you. "You might just make us fall in love."
"Might?" Steve smiled as they headed out, too. "Oh, I'm looking forward to it."
You managed not to stumble onto the sidewalk at their words. They were just being charming. It had to be. God, they were lethal.
How am I going to survive having drinks with them if they keep flirting like that?
"See you in thirty minutes," you said as you regained your composure.
"Don't be late."
"Otherwise Steve will have to punish you," Bucky winked before they turned and walked away, leaving you awestruck where you stood.
Welp. There go my panties.
Tumblr media
So, how long before it takes them to ruin you? And how long before you find out what they do for a living? Hehe. Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Stucky Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
2K notes · View notes
daddyhausen · 7 months
Text
• kinktober day nine : free use — roman reigns •
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
Tumblr media
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
{ masterlists } | { kinktober 2023 }
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
{ commission info } | { like my work? buy me a coffee — kofi — dxddyhxusen }
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
{ summary } — for an hour each day roman made a rule that he could use you whenever and however he wanted
{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact } dark!roman, cnc, free use, size kink, daddy kink, hair pulling, mild hunt chase, manhandling, spanking, oral sex { male receiving }, facials, cumshot, throatpie, face slapping, outdoor/balcony sex, exhibitionism, sexual humiliation, rough sex, stomach bulges, vaginal sex, penetrative sex, male + female orgasms, multiple orgasms, squirting, unprotected sex, internal cumshots, vaginal creampie
{ word count } — 1.1k
{ pairing } — fem!reader x roman reigns
{ genre } — smut
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
{ taglist } — @cosmoholic13 @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @adamjf @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @elsteenerico @igncrxntripley @ripleyswhore @embermdk @thepalaceofmelanie @violetmacher @seeingstarks @kennysbadkitten @darkangelchronicles
{ beta readers } — @allelitesmut + @legit9thlunaticwarrior
{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
you felt his looming presence behind you
your bodies seperated by the couch
his eyes burning into the back of your skull
you tried you best to ignore the feeling in a futile attempt to finish the novel you’d been anticipating to read
his hands rested on the back of the couch
you felt his weight dip into the leather,
feeling his breath on the back of your neck
you froze in place
fingers gripped the hardcover sides of the book
staring down at the page, repeatedly re-reading the same
sentence over and over again
“it’s time, baby” roman’s voice low and guttural against your skin
you stood up slowly, keeping your back towards him, avoiding the sultry gaze he was staring you down with.
you gulped thickly feeling his breath tingle against the nape of your neck
you made a break for it, trying to run from him but he was too quick
he reached out, grabbing a fistful of your hair, dragging you back in the process
“not so fast, babygirl. don’t you remember what happened last time you tried to run from me?”
you remembered vividly, it was only a week ago
he had bound you to a chair, left a vibrator buzzing against your clit for a consecutive five hours or so
it felt like it lasted all night
no that you could remember much, you’d lost count after the first two
it was a pleasure you most enjoyed but no one you’d wished to revive anytime too.
you nodded, as much as your head
could muster with how tightly roman gripped your hair
“i’m sorry, daddy…”
you mutter
softly, putting on the most innocent voice you could muster
roman smiled softly, still maintaining his grip on your hair
“i know baby, but daddy still needs to use those pretty little holes of yours”
he picked you up by the waist, tossing you over his shoulder
your body flailing in his arms
trying to free yourself but to no avail
he gave a rough slap to your ass to silence you
you yelped in pain at the sensation
he carried you into up the stairs
at this point you thought he was going to ruin you in the comfort and solace of your bedroom
your throat ran dry as be bypassed your shared bedroom entirely
making his way towards the large, glass sliding doors
leading to your balcony
he propped you down, while a strange and quite comforting gentleness that he was not known to showing during such scenes
he locked the door behind him, ensuring your escape was inevitable
“you got no choice to run now, babygirl.” he mentioned with a twisted smirk.
“now strip for me”
now you certainly did. it want to meet a grizly end from 5 storeys high that’s for sure
yet you froze, body paralyzed by his stare.
“did you not hear me, princess?” he made strides towards you, until his body was firmly pressed against yours.
“i said fucking strip for me”
his grabbed the collar of your shirt, ripping the thin fabric off clean in half
you gasped at the sudden chill of spring air ghosting across your nipples
the buds stiffened against his palms
he did the same with your shorts and panties, the fabric tearing clean from your skin
without a word he pushed you down to your knees
commanding you to keep your position with a simple, silent glare
he stripped himself
unbothered by the lack of privacy the balcony provided
he welcomed the onlookers stares, if there were any
“open wide babygirl”
roman was anything but patient, as if he was gonna actually wait for you to open your mouth
he pressed the tip of his cock to your bottom lip
prying your mouth open with ease
instantly fucking your throat
feeling him deep in the column of your throat
roman’s hands weaved into your hair, lightly massaging your scalp despite him absolutely abusing your throat
“that’s it baby, choke on it”
he began to feel you sputter and gag around his cock
spit dripping down your chin
roman held his cock down your throat,
until your nose prodded at the mount
loving the way your nails clawed at his thighs
beggin for him to let up and allow you so air
he did for a moment, nor before resuming to fucking your throat raw
“take all of it babygirl” roman’s voice grew more gutteral, more desperate as he spilled down your throat
pulling out at the last second so the final spurts of cum coated your lips and cheeks
he said nothing, merely pulling you up by the hair
facing you away from him, angling your body over the balcony
forcing your to look down to the bustling cityscape below
how cars and others movies by without noticed of you
roman’s hands held your waist tightly, ensuring your safety
“everyone is gonna see how much of an easy whore you are”
roman’s hand, still locked in your hair, prying you back against his chest
his hard cock grinding against your ass
“and you’re gonna fucking enjoy yourself”
he pushed past your folds without another word
letting himself revel in the warmth of your cunt
he began to move instantly
without regard for you in that moment
“daddy please…too big…”
your whimpers flooded his ears merely egging him on
feeling his thick cock stretch you out
his cock pushed deep into your cunt, the outline of him prominent in you flesh as he held himself inside you for a moment
“aww baby…i thought you liked my big cock”
“i d-do, daddy” you stammered though a moan
“then stop complaining”
he grabbed your chin, his large palm encapsulating half of your face
“look around princess, the entire city knows who this pathetic cunt belongs to”
“to you, daddy…it belongs to you”
roman smirked against your skin, planting a harsh kiss to your lips
“good girl. now shut the fuck up while i cum in that pretty little cunt of yours”
roman was relentless, his size stretching you with ease
adoring the was the flesh of your plump ass rippled against his hips with the force of his thrusts
his palm met your ass with a series of sickening slaps
all the which made you whimper with a mix of pain and exhilarating pleasure
you tried your best to keep quiet, having to cover you mouth to stop the moans from spilling
he came inside of you in silence and without warning
instantly pulling out, not allowing you to feel the aftershocks of his cock
or the pleasure of orgasm for that matter.
your thighs shook with arousal, weak as you had to stabilise yourself against the railing
roman merely smiled down at the site of your cunt dripping with his seed
“oh princess, we still got fifteen minutes left” he stared you down
“who don’t we go back inside and you can come sit on this cock? how does that sound”
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
435 notes · View notes
scoonsalicious · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Chapter 6, Unattached - Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, angst (Bring on the Pain!), alcohol usage, dumbass Bucky, noncon kissing that becomes con kissing, so..., arguing, jealous!Pocket, posessive!Bucky.
Word Count: 5.4k
Previously On...: After Bucky left you alone in your room, not wanting people to get 'the wrong idea' about the two of you, you came to the horrible conclusion that you were in love with your best friend. What the hell are you going to do about that?
A/N: Wow, okay! So, first off, Chapter 6 is long, and it only has the one part, so don't worry if you go looking for more and the next thing you find is Chapter 7! Second, there's a lot of progress and updates on Unwanted I wanted to share! I am already well into writing Chapter 14, and have planned out the rest of the story. We'll have a total of 25 chapters, plus an epilogue (unless something strikes me creatively that throws the entire thing for a loop, then all bets are off). This beast, as it currently sits, is already 208 Google Docs pages long and just shy of 80k words, so final product is probably going to be novel-length, which just blows my mind. I want to give a special shout out to @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for being my beta and my sounding board; your help and support has been immeasurable!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief
You stood in front of the doors to the common room, the low thrum of conversation and music filtering out from inside. Taking a deep breath, you tried for the umpteenth time to calm your nerves following your unsettling realization.
You had no idea how to approach this, how to approach Bucky. Do you tell him how you felt, in the hope that he felt the same way? But what if he didn't? Could you risk losing him all together? Or do you just keep on like nothing's changed, happy with what you have together? Would that be enough for you? Could you even be happy in a real relationship?
Why couldn't your mother have just been a decent human being and let you go to school like a normal child so you could have worked through all your awkward issues at the appropriate time, instead of saddling you with years of trauma and isolation that left you an emotionally stunted adult? God, you needed a strong drink and to talk to Nat, preferably in that order. Pushing open the common room door, you stepped inside, surveying the room with one eye out for Bucky, the other out for your friend.
It should have been of no surprise, then, that instead of either, you first spotted Jade Carthage. She was situated on a couch in the center of the room, like a queen on her throne before her court, and nearly every Avenger and agent with a penis was surrounding her, jockeying for her attention, even Clint who, you knew for a fact, loved his wife Laura more than life itself.
Your stomach dropped when, after one of the agents in front of the couch shifted slightly, you saw Bucky sitting immediately to Jade's left. And while it seemed like everyone else was clamoring for Jade to pay attention to them, she only had eyes for him. Jealousy coursed through you as she leaned in close, whispering something into his ear that had him throwing his head back in laughter. It was an entirely unpleasant sensation that you would be happy to never feel again. Especially because you knew you had no real right to feel it in the first place. You may have just realized you were in love with him, but he had made no similar declaration to you.
"Careful, you glare any harder, you're liable to bore a hole straight through him," Natasha said, coming up alongside of you.
"What if I aim for her, instead?" you asked, reaching for the tumbler of alcohol she offered you and taking a sip to distract yourself. It was like she could read your mind.
Nat shrugged. "So long as I'm not the one cleaning up the mess, I say have fun. But what happened to no-strings-attached, friends who happen to fuck?" Nat asked with a smirk. "Don't tell me you've grown strings, Pocket."
You looked away from the scene in front of you. "There might be some growing of string, in theory," you mumbled to her. Nat was the only person you had confided in regarding your arrangement with Bucky. Of course, your friend had been thrilled that there had been something going on between the two of you, but she'd been more concerned about protecting your heart-- was this the safest thing for you to do? You assured her at the time you'd be fine, but now...?
Nat's eyes widened as a grin took over her face. "Honey, that's fantastic!" She leaned in to give you a hug. "I'm so happy for you!" Taking in your forlorn expression, she quickly lost her good humor. "Why do you look like you're about to throw up?"
You cast another glance over at the couch. Jade was tracing her fingers along the golden veins of Bucky's vibranium arm and you felt like snakes were crawling through your stomach. "Because I don't know what the fuck to do about it, Natty," you told her with a sigh. "I've never felt like this before in my entire life and it's fucking terrifying; what if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse, what if he does and I mess everything up because I'm so fucking damaged inside?"
Natasha looped her arm through yours, leaning into you. "Honey, first of all, you are not damaged. You've been through hell and it left its mark on you, that's true, but you've been so strong. We're House Martell, remember?"
You sniggered, remembering how, when the entire Tower was obsessed with watching Game of Thrones together and picking what houses you'd each belong to, you and Nat had been drawn to the words of the ruling house of Dorne. And also, Pedro Pascal, obviously.
"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken," you recited from memory, a reminder that despite the obstacles life had thrown at you, you remained standing, stronger for what you had endured.
"Atta girl," Nat nudged you with her elbow. "And second of all, you don't need to worry about Bucky's feelings. Boy's obviously mad for you. Everyone can see it."
You drew your bottom lip in between your teeth. "I don't know, Nat. He's been acting strange lately. I tried to give him head earlier and he flat out rejected it." Come to think of it, that was exceptionally weird since, in your text exchange, he'd explicitly told you he'd been waiting in your room specifically for the purpose of getting off.
"Huh. That's... not like him." Nat tilted her head and looked over at Bucky, expression curious. "Did he say why?"
"He was real eager to come up here and get in the middle of that, apparently." You waved a hand in the general direction of the couch where Jade's little reverse-harem was still going strong. "I was getting on my knees and everything."
Nat raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.
"And then he made a really big deal about us coming up here separately. Said he didn't want people getting 'the wrong idea' about us if we arrived together."
Letting go of your arm, Natasha spun to face you, her face a mask of anger. "He said what now?!" she practically shouted, temporarily drawing everyone's attention to you. You looked around sheepishly as you tried to dismiss their stares.
"Nat," you begged in a whisper, "keep it down."
"Okay, okay, sorry." Natasha lowered her voice to a level only you could hear. "I'm sorry, but that's just complete and utter bullshit. Look, I know you guys think you've been in super secret stealth mode about hiding it, but pretty much everyone on the team knows you've been sleeping together. Hell, most of us placed bets on it." You opened your mouth in order to protest but she cut you off.
"If anything, it's weirder if the two of you don't show up to something together, so I don't know what the hell he's thinking."
"I do," you said morosely. "He doesn't want her getting the wrong idea about us."
"Pocket, don't even let your mind go there," Nat said.
"Think about it, Nat; I've been standing here for what, fifteen minutes now? And he hasn't even looked at me. When's the last time that happened?"
Nat's brows creased, her expression clouding over into something immensely sad for you, and you knew she was realizing what you'd already seen. In the last year, you and Bucky had been attached at the hip, nearly physically joined to one another, and if you were apart, your eyes were always scanning the room in search of the other's presence, seeking them out. The fact that he hadn't even looked for you, let alone come to you since you walked in, was telling in its own heartbreaking way.
Nat let out a heavy sigh. "Oh Pocket. Honey, I'm so sorry."
You shook your head, trying to dispel the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes if you kept down this path. "Don't Natty, please. I can't fall apart, not here."
"Yeah, okay-- you're right. Now is not the time. Come on." Linking her arm through yours once again, she directed you toward the bar where Tony was standing, whiskey in hand. "If anyone can talk you to distraction," she murmured as you approached him, "it's Stark."
You let out a startled laugh and let her guide you toward the man who had already saved you more times than you could count.
"Hey, kiddo; Romanoff." Tony saluted you with his glass and you did your best to smile back at him as you stuffed your emotions down as far as they would go. "What do you think of our new recruit?" he asked Nat.
"I think 'Weasel' would be a better fitting code name for her than 'Vixen,'" Nat replied with a sly smile as she took a sip of wine.
"Ah, saw the security feed, did you?" Tony asked her. Nat nodded.
"Watched it live as it happened. Wasn't going to leave my bestie without eyes on her six." She gave your arm an affectionate squeeze.
Tony hummed and glanced over to the couch. "Wish Cap had been as discerning as you. He refused to watch the feed; said it made him uncomfortable to spy on someone when they didn't know they were being recorded." Natasha rolled her eyes.
"Always the fucking Boy Scout," she murmured.
"So, how did the interview itself go?" you asked Tony, not really sure you wanted to know the answer, but feeling the need to punish yourself with the details, anyway.
Tony leaned back against the bar, resting his elbows on the polished wooden surface. "If it were up to me, we wouldn't even be playing this charade right now," he said, motioning with his chin to indicate the meet and greet. "Girl's a first-class bullshitter."
"Talent recognizing talent?" you asked with a wry smile that almost felt genuine.
He pointed a finger and winked at you. "Exactly. She talked a good talk, but it doesn't take much to see she's suffering from Big Fish, Small Pond Syndrome. She's in for a rude awakening if she thinks she's ready to swim in the ocean with the whales and the sharks."
"So, you're not going to offer her the probationary position?" you asked, hope rising pathetically in your chest. As if you could un-ring the bell.
"Oh, I didn't say that," Tony said as you deflated. "It's not all up to me. Though, given the fact that I personally fund this entire operation, you'd think it really should be, right?" At the look on your face he moved on. "Apologies, I digress. Anyway, Cap thinks it's only fair we offer it to her, seeing as how we don't have a ton of other options knocking on our door, and Fury's not going to get off my ass until we find someone." He sighed. "I think this entire exercise is a waste of time, and we should be kicking her out on her ass for how she treated you earlier, Pocket, but I'm outvoted."
"Thanks, Boss," you said softly, grateful at least that Tony could see through Jade's facade and took how she treated you seriously. Too bad your best friend couldn't offer you the same courtesy.
The timer on Tony's watch went off. "And that's the dinner bell," he said, putting down his glass. Clapping his hands, he called out to the rest of the room. "Attention Avengers, SHIELD Agents, and... whoever else managed to sneak in off the street! Dinner is served, so if we could all head to the dining room before the food gets cold and Raul quits on me, I'd appreciate it very much."
You held back as the crowd of people noisily moved to the dining room, hoping to catch Bucky's eye, but he remained steadfastly absorbed in his conversation with Jade.
"Come on, honey," Nat said as she took your elbow. "You can talk to him during dinner. You nodded and allowed her to lead you into the dining room. You and Bucky had sat next to one another, without fail, for every meal for the last year, the only exception being when one of you was away on a mission. You'd have plenty of opportunities to talk to him while you ate.
Normally, you all ate at one large table, but since this was a special occasion that required the attendance of a lot more than just the regular 13 members of your family (14, if Parker was around), Tony had the dining room arranged more like a restaurant, with a series of smaller tables spread out throughout the space.
You and Nat followed Bucky and Jade to a six-top where Steve and Sam were already getting ready to sit down, but you froze in your tracks when Bucky pulled back a chair for Jade, pushing it in behind her as she sat down before taking the seat next to her.
The air seemed to grow heavy, as though it weighed too much for you to draw it into your lungs and your chest began to hurt. How could such a simple action be causing you so much physical pain?
Steve, who had already been sitting at Bucky's other side at the head of the table, caught your eye and moved to get up to offer you his chair, instead, as though that could make up for Bucky's dismissal of you.
You subtly shook your head, not wanting to draw attention to the awkward situation you found yourself in. Instead, you made your way over to the only two remaining seats at the table: the one next to Sam that was directly across from Jade and Bucky or the one next to Jade at the opposite end of the table from Steve. Deciding it was better to be sitting across from Steve than either of the other two, you opted for the chair at the end, and Nat slid in next to Sam.
You cast a quick glance in Jade's direction and had to stifle a sick laugh-- she was physically coming between you and Bucky, quite literally.
Jade reached a hand out to Nat across the table. "Wow! Black Widow! It is so great to meet you! My name's Vixen; I'm a huge fan! I'm so excited for us to be working together!"
Bless Nat, she just stared at the girl with arms crossed across her chest, impassive and judging, until Jade slowly and awkwardly pulled her hand back.
"I take it, then, that you've deemed the Avengers good enough to be your backup team?" Nat asked without expression.
You did your best to cover the laughter that escaped from you with a fake cough, but you didn't try very hard to be convincing.
"What's this about, now?" Steve asked, leaning forward.
"Little Vixen over here," Nat began, leaning back in her chair until she was perched on the two rear legs, "was live-streaming this morning to her social media followers. Told them it wasn't so much that the Avengers were interviewing her to see if she'd be good for the team, but she was interviewing us to see if we'd be good back up for her."
Jade had the decency to look embarrassed for a moment before she turned to face you for the first time, anger taking over her features. "So, what? Didn't much take you for a tattler. You that intimidated by me?"
You opened your mouth to defend yourself but were interrupted by the sound of the legs of Nat's chair slamming back against the floor. "Pocket didn't tell me shit. I heard it straight from your mouth on the security feed. That and a lot of other interesting things."
"You're spying on her, Nat? Really?" Bucky spoke up. "She's our guest and she deserves a modicum of privacy, don't you think?" You stared at him, open mouthed, but he didn't spare you a glance.
"It was a part of her interview, Barnes," Nat spat. "Maybe if you---"
"Okay, Nat, Bucky," Steve said, using his official Captain America voice, "let's table this conversation for later and just enjoy our meal. Raul worked really hard on tonight's menu, so let's not spoil it for him, alright?"
Both Nat and Bucky grumbled their agreement as the catering staff brought out the first course and placed them on each of your plates. Normally, you loved when Raul, Tony's personal chef, cooked meals for the team; he always made sure to throw in something with lemon in it, knowing how much you loved the flavor; but tonight, your appetite was failing you and you ended up pushing more food around on your plate than you put in your mouth.
You couldn't help but steal glances over at Bucky, who continued to be wrapped in conversation with Jade. You tried to keep up with what the others were saying, occasionally nodding your head in agreement to something, but you weren't able to pay any real attention; your mind was elsewhere until you noticed Jade looking at you.
"You know, I have to say I'm surprised to see so many non-Avengers here. I got the impression that this group was... I dunno, elite? But it seems like you just let anyone in."
Steve laughed from the other end of the table. "Being an Avenger is a team effort, Vixen. Everyone plays their part. And besides, Pocket here's just as much an Avenger as I am." The comment took you by surprise, and you gave Steve a warm, appreciative smile.
"Thanks, Cap," you said, truly touched by his words.
"Well, she's more like Avenger-adjacent," Bucky amended, and all the warmth you'd felt at Steve's compliment vanished in an instant, leaving you feeling cold and hollow. The words shouldn't have stung-- it was how you had referred to yourself hundreds of times, but you tended to reserve it for your low moments, when you were feeling unequal to Earth's mightiest heroes. Hearing the words come out of Bucky's mouth, as if he, too, shared in your belief that you were inferior to the rest of them... well, that fucking hurt.
Steve let out a surprised laugh and clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Pocket may not have enhanced physical abilities or powers or what have you, but she's got a brilliant mind. She's got a PhD in Mechanical Engineering and Computation from MIT, three Master's degrees, she speaks seven languages, she's got a black belt in Krav Maga, and she was the youngest Chief Technology Officer in Stark Industries history; all without ever having formally graduating high school. It's no exaggeration for me to say that I'd be dead a couple of dozen times over if I hadn't had her at my six. If anything, I think it makes her even more important than the rest of us. We're here because of the physical things we can do– primarily because of things that happened to us by accident; Pocket's essential to the team because of how she thinks, and the strength and quality of the work she’s willing to put in. We're replaceable, Pocket's one-of-a-kind."
You looked at Steve as if seeing him for the very first time. You had no idea he thought so highly of you, and his praise warmed you. You offered him a soft smile, your throat tightening with emotion and leaving you unable to express your gratitude. You mouthed a silent thank you instead, hoping that conveyed how much his words meant to you. He winked back at you in acknowledgement.
Bucky glanced back and forth between the two of you, as if analyzing your silent exchange. He coughed awkwardly. "I just meant that we try to keep Pocket away from the really dangerous stuff," he backpedaled, poorly, in your opinion. "Can't risk her getting hurt." He smiled at you, but you just stared back, expression blank, until he looked away in embarrassment. Good. Let him feel an ounce of the discomfort you’d been feeling this entire time.
Small talk resumed around the table, with Sam telling Steve about some new modification he was making to Redwing, and Bucky and Jade back to being locked in their own bubble. You did your best to ignore the little glances and gestures that Jade directed to Bucky, but it felt like your eyes were drawn to them like a magnet every time she touched him. Which seemed to be happening more and more frequently. You couldn't help but notice the way he leaned toward her when she spoke. Did he ever do that when he was talking with you?
"So, Bucky," Jade said eventually, her voice low and flirty as the caterers took away the main course, "handsome super hero like you, you seeing anyone?" Your eyes snapped up to Bucky's face, watching him. Surely he was going to look to you, make eye contact, something to acknowledge what was between you, to make you feel like you were in the same room, hell, on the same fucking planet as him. But he didn't.
"Nope," he said, running his hand over the back of his neck like he always did when he was feeling self conscious or nervous. "Not seeing anyone, though I'm not opposed to the idea." You had been stabbed in the abdomen on a mission once, and that had hurt less than hearing the words that had just come out of Bucky's mouth. It took everything in you to resist getting up from the table and leaving the room at that moment.
"Really, man?" Sam asked from where he sat on the other side of Natasha, his voice hard in disbelief. The atmosphere at your table had shifted. Natasha, Steve, and Sam all stared at Bucky with looks ranging from incredulity to flat out disgust. Bucky either was oblivious to the stares or was doing a great job patently ignoring them.
You couldn't even bring yourself to look at him anymore. It felt like a betrayal, the way his eyes had met Jade's and not yours. How could he sit there and just completely deny you like that? Had you been deluding yourself? Had you just been some kind of fuck toy this entire time?
The caterers brought the next course, a cold raspberry soup. You sat there, staring into space as you mechanically spooned the soup into your mouth, trying your hardest to appreciate the taste, but everything seemed bitter in light of Bucky's attitude, actions, and words.
"Could you hand me the water carafe?" Bucky asked. You looked up to watch Jade hand him the bottle of water. "Thanks, doll," he said, smiling at her.
You dropped your spoon, letting it fall into your nearly empty bowl with a reverberating clang. Your companions at the table stared, eyes wide as their gazes traveled between you and Bucky. In his entire time at the tower, he had never once called another woman 'doll.' It was a moniker he'd specifically reserved for you.
Or, it used to be.
You could tell the exact moment when Bucky realized he'd fucked up. His eyes locked on yours, the color draining from his face. He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak to you, but you'd had enough. Without a word, you pushed back your chair with enough force that it practically tipped over and exited the dining room.
You made it all the way to the elevator before you heard him calling for you.
"Doll! Doll, where are you?" You stabbed repeatedly at the call button, as if it would bring the car to you faster. You could hear his footsteps drawing closer, and you really didn't want to talk to him right now.
Finally, the elevator doors opened and you slid inside, turning to press the 'Close Door' button just as you saw Bucky turn the corner to the elevator bay. You were ready to breathe a sigh of relief at evading him until Bucky's metal hand shot in the diminishing space between the closing doors. You were trapped.
"Doll, didn't you hear me callin' to you?" he asked as he slid into the car with you.
You looked around, as if searching for another person in the car. "I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Should probably be more specific with your pet names, then. A girl’s liable to get confused." You were impressed that the words came out as hard and bitter as you felt inside.
Bucky flinched. "I deserved that."
You leaned forward to press the button for your floor before crossing your arms and glaring at him. "You fucking think?"
"Look, it just slipped out, okay? I didn't mean anything by it. It's not a big thing you needed to storm out over." You rolled your eyes at him, disgusted that that was the only thing he seemed to realize he'd done to offend you all evening. "Pocket, can we just talk about this?"
"Oh, now you want to talk to me?" you asked, jutting out your hip in annoyance. "Seemed like earlier today, you couldn't wait to not be seen with me, or do you no longer care if people get the wrong idea?"
"Alright," Bucky said, slamming his fist against the elevator's emergency stop button. You stumbled as the car came to a grinding halt. Bucky tried to put his hands on you to steady you, but you pushed him away. "What is going on with you today, Pocket?"
"What's going on with me?" you asked him, incredulous. "What's going on with you? You've been an ass to me all night, that is when you weren't acting like I didn't exist."
"How am I being an ass?" he asked, voice rising. "You're the one who couldn't even hold a civil conversation with our guest! It was embarrassing!" You recoiled as if he'd slapped you, backing away from him until your back hit the elevator wall.
"Wow. Okay then." You blinked heavily, telling yourself not to cry. You'd be damned if you showed weakness in front of him now. Bury the emotions, encase them in ice. "Sorry I'm such a fucking embarrassment to you, Sergeant Barnes. Now that I know how you feel, I'll make sure to stay out of your way so you don't have to put up with me." You moved to press the button to restart the elevator, but Bucky grabbed your wrist.
"Don't do this," he growled at you. "Don't hide behind snappy quips so you can shut down and avoid having a real conversation with me." You stared between his eyes and where he held your wrist in his metal grip. It wasn't tight enough to hurt, but it was tight enough to keep you from breaking free.
His gaze softened as he watched you. "I never said I was embarrassed of you, Pocket. I just don't know why you had to be so rude to Jade at dinner tonight."
"Name one thing I did that was rude to her," you challenged.
"Okay," Bucky stuck out a finger as though he were about to count off all your grievous errors. "Let's see... You said... No, that was Nat... You were... okay, Steve said that... You said... No, that was Nat again." He looked up at you sheepishly. "So, maybe you actually didn't say anything during dinner, but not talking to her was still rude."
You scoffed. "You want to talk rude and embarrassing, Bucky? Do you know how embarrassing it was to have everyone staring at me when you pulled out my chair for Jade, or when my own best friend didn't defend me when she had the audacity to call me a fucking tattler? Like I’m some kind of fucking child?" Your voice was rising and you could feel yourself getting swept up in your anger. "How about the pity looks I got when everyone heard you lie about not seeing anyone, or when you called her 'doll'? Or when you told her I was 'Avengers-adjacent'? You think I'm the embarrassing one? You made me feel like an insignificant piece of shit tonight, Barnes. God, if it hadn't been for Steve saying what he said, you would have driven me to tears."
Bucky had been staring down at his boots as you'd been speaking, as though your accusations were too much for him to face head-on, but at the mention of Steve's name, his head snapped up, blue eyes like ice on your face. "Well, if Steve's such a hero, why aren't you fucking him, then?" he asked, voice clipped and bitter.
You yanked your wrist free from his grasp. "Maybe I should start!" you shouted. "At least he's not embarrassed of me and doesn't forget I exist when another pair of tits shows up!"
Bucky's gaze darkened and in an instant, he was on you, caging your body against the elevator wall, a hand on either side of your head. "Don't you even fucking joke about that," he snarled.
You jutted out your chin, refusing to show any sign of weakness, though his actions were beginning to frighten you. "Who says I'm joking? Sounds like a good idea to me; thanks for suggesting it." You moved to duck under his arm, but he grabbed you by the shoulders, pinning you in place.
His breaths were coming hard and fast now, as though he'd just run a marathon. His gaze darted between your eyes and your lips, as though trying to make up his mind about something. In the next instant, his mouth was crashing down on yours, his tongue demanding entry.
You gasped at the sudden intrusion and Bucky took that as his invitation, deepening the kiss with a primal fervor. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you into him. For a moment, you were stunned, unsure of what was happening. But then instincts took over – he was kissing you, really kissing you. Your stomach fluttered and your heart hammered in your chest.
One of your hands ran through his hair, while the other gripped his shoulder for support. His hands had somehow migrated beneath your shirt, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin at your sides. You returned his kiss with as much intensity as he gave. But then suddenly, as if waking from a dream, you remembered why you were angry with him. You pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.
You were both panting, and despite your attempt to put distance between your bodies, Bucky leaned down, resting his forehead against yours as he fought to catch his breath. "Don't," he whispered hoarsely, his voice heavy with an emotion you couldn't quite place. "Don't sleep with Steve."
"You realize how incredibly infuriating you're being right now, don't you?" you asked. "You can't just treat me like that, ignore me all night in favor of someone else, then kiss me and try to tell me who I can or can't sleep with."
"I know, Sweetheart," he said, nuzzling your nose with his, "I know and I'm sorry, but please, promise me: no matter how angry you are with me, don't sleep with Steve. You wanna fuck someone else to piss me off? Go fuck Sam, Thor, Rhodes, hell, even Parker. I'll hate it, but if it's Steve, it'll fucking kill me."
"Your signals are all over the place tonight, Buck," you sighed, letting out an involuntary moan as his lips found the sweet spot on your neck and sucked at your skin. You had to pull away before he turned you into a babbling mess. "If you think you can just kiss me into oblivion and I'll forgive you for everything you've said and done tonight, you better think again, because that's not happening."
Bucky ran both his hands through his hair, sending it pointing every which way. Then he pressed the emergency stop button again, letting the elevator resume its journey. "I know I owe you an explanation, Pocket," he said. "So, can we go to your room and talk? No interruptions, no one else, just you and me, okay?"
You studied him, considering. A part of you was still so angry at him that you didn't want to hear him out, but the part of you that loved him hated the idea of leaving things in a bad place. In your line of work, you never knew when your next goodbye might be your last goodbye.
"Fine," you said, dropping your shoulders with a sigh. "We can talk, I'll hear you out, but I'm not promising forgiveness."
He smiled, his eyes bright once again. "That's all I ask, Sweets. That's all I ask."
<- Previous Chapter / Next Chapter ->
208 notes · View notes
tc-doherty · 4 months
Text
TC's Practical Writing Tips
Like I said before, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I can teach anyone how to write – that's a level of hubris even I'm not capable of –but in honor of my rapidly approaching ~quarter century of writing original fiction anniversary~, I did figure I would share the tips that I live by when it comes to the act of writing.
So without further ado:
Write it now, fix it later
2. It is always permissible – and usually enjoyable – to write the stupidest possible version
3. "Inspiration" is great for poets, but poison for people who write prose
3.1: if you want to write often, you need to write often, and then you will find that you don't need to be "inspired" because you will have made a habit of it and it will come naturally 3.2: even one sentence a day is still one sentence a day. And even one sentence a week is still one sentence a week. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop 3.3: believing in the concept that you need to be inspired to write will trap you into believing in the concept of writer's block 3.4: if you are having difficulty getting out words that satisfy you, lower your standards and keep writing (see point one)
4. A few months down the line you will not remember which words came easily and which words did not
5. It is always permissible to set a project aside for now, or forever, if you need a break
6. Read widely and often, both in your favorite genres and outside of them
6.1: pay special attention to both things that you love and things that you hate - study them, engage with them, learn what makes yourself tick and your writing can only get stronger
7. Never write for the lowest common denominator, via wise words I once heard: "if you open the window and make love to the world, your story will get pneumonia", have an audience in mind and the people who like what you write will find it
8. Never write for the bad faith critic, those people will always exist and you will need to deal with them at some point if you put your writing in the world, but they don't matter and you cannot live in fear of them
9. It's fine and normal to want engagement and praise, however you must find a way to make the act of writing joyful in and of itself – make the praise the cherry on top, not the entire sunday
9.1: writing is hard work, and it's a lot of work, if you lose the ability to enjoy the journey and are proceeding only for external rewards from others, you will gradually write less and less if the ratio of work to rewards is unsatisfying
10. For anything other than final copy editing, always write a new draft into a new document, or else the words you have already written will trap you from being able to make large, sweeping changes
10.1: any change you make will invariably snowball, and you must give space for that snowball to roll
11. If someone tells you that something doesn't work for them, believe them, because people know what they like. But if people try to tell you what to do to fix it, take that with an entire serving of salt because you are the author, not them
12. It is always morally correct to look at a critique that you received, even if you asked for opinions via beta reading, and decide that it's bullshit and doesn't apply to you
13. "write what you know" means "write what you're interested in"
14. "Show don't tell" applies to screenwriting, not novels. This is the thing that drives me the most insane every time I see it. Novels are words on a page, not images on a screen. They require a lot of telling. Not all telling, but a lot of telling. Become comfortable with that.
15. It is always, ALWAYS acceptable to use "said", do not listen to the lies of others
16. Have fun, do it out of love and you will never go astray
17. Become comfortable with who you are. Your work is always going to be yours and it is always going to sound like you wrote it, and this is a good thing! No one else is ever going to write exactly like you, and you should be proud of that
17.1: the concept of "originality" is vastly overrated, every culture has some version of Cinderella and we still love it. Your writing is yours because you wrote it, and it will always be unique because of that
359 notes · View notes