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mizunetzu · 4 years

Note

Can you do Daichi x male reader where Daichi asks his boyfriend to come over to meet his team and he forgets and goes home so Daichi give him a call and is like "where you at?" "I cant come I look like a clown." "I bet you dont look that bad." "No you dont get it im in full drag." So his boyfriend comes to the gym in full drag, booby and butt pads, and monster heels, and when he walked in it's like Kags that recognizes him as his drag name.

LMAOOJSKE DRAG QUEEN READEKRNRNF

——————

Daichi x reader - DRAG QUEEN?!

⚠️warnings - drag queen, college first year reader x high school 3rd year (if that’s even a warning skdjd)

Pronouns- male, he/him

——————

Daichi said it on impulse, really.

“Do you guys...wanna meet my boyfriend?”

Everyone in the gym stopped. They were in middle of a practice match between themselves, and just when Yamaguchi was about to serve, he choked on air and missed the ball completely. The ball flew in the air, before landing somewhere near his feet.

Everyone stared at Daichi with a variety of expressions. Some shocked, some looking at him like he ‘said I’m gonna chop my dick off,’ and some who didn’t even care. (Tsukishima, obviously.) Ukai had to call timeout, since no one could focus after what Daichi blurted out.

Suga chuckled awkwardly, slinging a towel over his shoulders. “So uh, ahaha, your um...gay...?” His voice progressively died down into a whisper.

“Yeah. Is...that’s a problem?”

“No! No! I fully support y-“

“AND YOU CHOSE NOW TO TELL US? DUDE, WE COULD’VE LIKE, THROWN YOU A COMING-OUT PARTY!” Tanaka shook his captaincy the shoulders, while Noya squirted water into his mouth with his squeeze bottle.

“Well I don’t really mind, I’m already out, I was just asking if you wanted to meet him.”

“DO WE?! OF COURSE WE DO! DOES HE PLAY VOLLEYBALL?! DO YOU THINK HE COULD JOIN THE TEAM?!” Hinata jumped up and down, slowly inching is way towards Daichi with an awestruck look on his face. He’s rather surprised Hinata isn’t more shocked.

“Yeah. Uh-no, sorry. He doesn’t play.” Daichi chuckled, patting an excited looking hinata on the head. “I don’t think he has work tomorrow, so tomorrow’s really the only time he can come to practice.”

“Work?” Asahi looked up from the towel he was using to wipe off his sweat. “How old is he? Is he a third year?”

“He’s a first year in college. Actually-I think he goes to the college in Sendai.”

Asahi exhaled. It would’ve been weird if someone as young as a highschooler were to already be working, when the could be enjoying their time in classes or clubs. “Where does he work?”

Flashbacks of all the drag shows and money being thrown around a stage whipped across Daichis mind like a slap to the face. He’s sure the team wouldn’t mind, especially because they already don’t mind him having a boyfriend, but he isn’t sure if (Y/n) was ok with him telling his team he was a...y’know.

“...I’m not sure?”

————

“Oh-hello Daikkun! How was practice today?” (Y/n) opened the passenger seat to his door, waiting for him to step inside. Sometimes he liked to pick him up from school before he had to get in makeup for a night show. That didn’t stop him from doing a little bit of eyeliner, though.

“It was nice. I told them they could meet you soon. The team.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, you don’t have any shows tomorrow, right? I kind of told them tomorrow.” Daichi scrubbed at the back of his neck, while (y/n) started up his car. “I know you’ve wanted to meet them.”

“You bet your ass! Well-I mean I have a show at like 2 am but that doesn’t matter. What time can I come? Are they nice? Didn’t you say there was one who was really short but could jump as high as me in stilettos?”

“Oi-! Focus on the road!”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m just excited. Anyways! Can you come to my show tonight? I’ll sneak you in.”

“Every time I go to one of your drag shows I get scared someone will kick me out since I’m 17.”

“Dude, have you seen yourself?!” (Y/n) gestures over to Daichi, putting emphasis on his thigh-region. “You’re big and muscly enough to at least pass as 18. It’s just a one year difference, when’s your birthday again?”

“I can’t believe you forgot, I’m hurt.” Daichi chuckled, fiddling with his backpack straps on his lap. “Besides, doesn’t your show run kind of late today? I don’t get to choose when to take my classes like you, (L/n). And I have morning practice, so I need to sleep.”

“You’re no fun, Daikkun.”

“Yeah, yeah, My house is over there.”

————

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone for the nth time that day. Fanning himself dramatically, he huffed and buried his face into his pillow. There was nothing to do today, and since he took morning classes, that left him with the rest of the afternoon to ponder, before working at night.

Was there something to do today? Was he forgetting something? He felt like he was, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

He glanced guilty at a tube of light pink lip gloss tossed haphazardly on his desk. A light bulb went off in his head.

Hastily throwing his covers off his body, (y/n) dragged himself over to his closet, grabbing the lip gloss in the process. He shuffled through hangers of clothes, finally pulling out a girls uniform he bought from when he was in high school. He never wore it to school, choosing to wear the boys uniform, but he thought it’d be nice to have when he was feeling fruity.

Slipping on the skirt and cardigan, he walked over to his desk mirror. He unscrewed the wand from the tube of lip gloss, tentatively applying it generously to his lips. He shrugged. He figured he could do some more makeup. It’s not like he’s busy today, right?

Carefully winging the tip of his eyeliner, he took a step back and admired himself in the mirror. He looked cute, yeah, but cute wasn’t really his style. It screamed ‘cute femboy’ rather than his usual ‘sexy ass drag queen dominatrix who could step on you with their sharp ass knife heels’

Damn. He was really about to go all out, huh? Time to bring out the butt pads and fake boobs.

————

Sighing contently in front of the mirror, (y/n) did a little spin, puffing out the length of his dress. Damn, he was hot. And with his impossibly high monster heels? Take me now.

(Y/n) was in the midst of taking a couple cute selfies in front of his full length mirror, when his screen went grey and a caller ID appeared.

‘Incoming call - Daikkun!! <3’

(Y/n) smiled unconsciously and clicked the bright green button with his thumb. He brought his phone to his ear and twirled a piece of his faux wig with his finger.

“Hi Daikkun! Did you need something, cutie?”

“Are you still coming over?” Daichis voice was hushed, and the slam of volleyballs rang though his speaker.

“Uh-what for?”

“To meet my team? Where are you?”

Fuck.

(Y/n) paled as he eyed himself in the mirror. He couldn’t show up looking like that. And it was too much to take off before Daichis practice ended. This was the only time he had to meet this team Daichi had always been talking about, and he’d completely forgot.

“...I can’t, I look like a clown.” (Y/n’s) voice came out a hoarse, nervous-chuckly whisper. He could taste the expensive red lipstick sitting on his lips.

“I’m sure you don’t look that bad.”

“Dude no, you don’t understand.” (Y/n) picked at the hem of his dress, the silicone boobs suddenly squeezing his chest a bit too tightly. “I’m in full drag.”

A silence rang out from both sides of the line. Daichi awkwardly chuckled.

“Ahaha uh-didn’t you say you didn’t have work today?”

“No! No I-I don’t have work til like-later later but like-I got bored and I forgot I was gonna meet your team today...sorry-“

“Well I’m sure they won’t mind if you show up in drag. I mean-they seemed pretty ok with knowing we’re a thing so...?”

(Y/n) gulped.

“...I guess I’ll see you in ten minutes then.”

—————

“Good work everyone!”

Ukai dismissed the players, leaving them to start rolling up the net and cleaning up the gym. Sugawara jogged up to the captain, dragging his mop lazily behind him.

“You said your boyfriend was gonna come today, right? Where is he?”

“Uh,” Daichi checked his wrist, before realizing he didn’t have a watch and fished out his phone. “He should be here any minute now-“

Just in time, the doors to the gym creaked open. Daichi smiled, leaving Suga to trail behind him curiously. He reached for the door handle, giving it a firm pull.

In stepped a boy with a long synthetic wig on, and heels that made him tower over Daichi easily. The sharp platforms of his heels clicked with each step he took, jewelry and accessories also bobbing up and down. And not to mention the ‘bobbling’ the silicone boobs made. Jeez, even if they were fake, they did still jiggle a hell of a lot.

(Y/n) bent down daintily, pressing a kiss onto Daichi’s cheek. Lipstick smeared on his sweaty cheek, leaving a dark imprint on the side of his face. (Y/n) seemed to finally take notice of all the astonished stares directed at him.

Should he A, stand beside his boyfriend awkwardly and pick at the loose thread of his dress or B, put on his confident drag persona and play it off?

He chose B.

(Y/n) smirked and leaned on on of his feet, placing a hand on his hip. “What? Like what you see, boys? I’m afraid I’m already taken, though.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck. Even with the confident display, (y/n) couldn’t help but stay somewhat behind Daichi, trying to shrink behind his 10 inch heels.

Immediately, a bald guy and a kid with a bleached strip on the front of his head erupted into excitement.

“Yo! Sick dress, dude!”

The atmosphere lightened up tremendously. (Y/n) let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Well thank you, Mr. Bleach strip.”

The bald one, who introduced himself as ‘Tanaka’, slapped Daichi on the back. “Dude! What’s with all the surprises?! You tell us you have a boyfriend but you didn’t tell us he was a drag queen?!”

“I-to be honest I didn’t know he was in drag today-I didn’t know he had work.”

The closet door opened, with Hinata and Kageyama walking out from placing the net inside. Hinata gasped excitedly, while Kageyama froze. Hinata practically bolted towards the unknown person wearing heels and jumped up to his height. (Y/n) choked on air. This kid practically flew at him.

“Wow! Are you one of those ‘drag queens’ I see on tv sometimes?! Cool! That’s so cool! I-“

“ARE YOU QUIMCHI?!”

Hinatas throat closed up, along with (y/n) after hearing his stage name being called out so...dramatically. The boy continued.

“...F-FROM THAT ONE INTERVIEW THEY DID ON THAT ONE CLUB ON THE LATE NIGHT SHOW WITH SHIN’ICHI HATORI?!”

Kageyamas booming voice rang through the gym as he pointed at (y/n) with wide eyes. Everyone’s gaze went from (y/n) to Kageyama, who was frozen in place. Even (y/n) was a tad bit confused.

The club he worked at recently had a special done on TV, and (y/n) was only in the background. He didn’t know how this...boy recognized him from that, or why he was even watching the drag special on that show in the first place.

“...yeah...yeah I am,” (y/n) smiled awkwardly and a boy with blond hair and glasses chuckled from somewhere in the gym.

The boy, with another guy with dark-green hair, walked out from the storage closet aswell. “Who knew the king was into that kind of stuff? Drag queens? No disrespect, ma’am-sir.”

Kageyama seemed to unfreeze just to glare at Tsukishima with a flushed face. “I-IM NOT! MY STUPID SISTERS JUST A BIG FAN, IS ALL!“

Kageyama turned to (y/n), and marched scarily fast towards him. He stopped abruptly and bowed his head so far it made (y/n) take a step back.

“M-MAY I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH FOR MY SISTER?! AN-AND MAYBE A PHOTO TOO?!” Kageyama stiffly held his arms to his sides as he kept his head down. Small chuckles and snorts sounded from all around the gym, (y/n) even joining in and patting the black haired boys head.

“Sure thing, doll.”

————

“Your team was nicer than I thought.”

Daichi looked up questionably, fastening his seatbelt. (Y/n) started up his car. “What do you mean, nicer?”

“Well-I thought they were gonna be a bunch of meatheads banging their heads together. They’re actually more interesting than I thought they were going to be. Especially that Kageyama guy.”

Daichi smiled contently. “I’m glad you like them, then.”

A comfortable silence breezed by them, the only sounds audible being the hum of the car engine and the soft tapping of Daichis nails against the armrest. Daichi stole a glance at (y/n). His wig was discarded, placed neatly on the backseat with the wig cap and hairpins resting underneath it, and his hair was slightly damp and messy due to being constricted. His lipstick was a bit smeared from when he kissed him on the cheek, and droplets of sweat gathered near his hairline.

Daichi set his fingers lightly on the spot where the lipstick mark sat, caressing it softly so the lipstick wouldn’t smear more that it already has. He exhaled softly and shifted his gaze back down. He wouldn’t mind if he came to his practice again.

“...so wanna come to my show tonight, Daikkun?”

“It’s at 2am, no.”

—————

Extra:

Kageyama: miwa.

Kageyama: MIWA.

Miwa sighed and checked her phone, sliently scolding her brother for bothering her. She stretched and rubbed her eyes. She swore, if Tobio wanted a ride home from practice...

Miwa: mm

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Miwa: DUDE

Miwa: AJDJSKDKF

Miwa: HOW THE FUCK

Miwa: TELL ME YOU GOT QUIMCHIS AUTOGRAPH DJFJDJE

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Kageyama: I DID. I GOT ONE FOR U AND ONE FOR ME

Kageyama: HE WAS SO TALL TOO

Kageyama: LIKE HE WAS A HALF FOOT TALLER THAN ME EVEN WITHOUT THE HEELS

Miwa: WHY WAS HE AT UR PRACTICE WHSHD

Kageyama: apparently he’s dating my captain

Miwa: WHAT RHE FUCKCIDNEBRJ

——————

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Not Bad

Prompts: Hihi, i have a Merlin prompt if you're interested. Merlin thinks he's a bad person bec he was taught that magic is bad, but also Bec of all the stuff he did/does to keep Arthur safe and ig throw in some touch starved!Merlin too for fun. But the knights compliment/hug/etc all the time and Merlin just doesn't understand what he's supposed to do with this, so the solution is to breakdown crying and try to convince the knights he's the bad person he sees himself as and the knights are just like "but you're wrong and he's 25 reasons why you're wrong" Plz, thx, love your writing - anon

im a fuckin sucker for soft knights & arthur w merlin so, if ur still takings reqs, i would love to see when the knights realize merlin still views himself as a "monster" like is hinted in first ep (? i thinkk, im rusty on my merlin trivia)- is it a passing comment he makes and they realize all together? knight cuddle pile? just give the poor boy some love - anon

if you'd want to write it i'd love to see the collective moment that the knights realize that merlin is self-harming in some way (in my brain this is probably in like a denial-of-things type thing that he probably doesn't even see as self-harm bc he's an idiot, could even be something like healing everyone else w magic but refusing to heal himself... idk feel free to do whatever you see fit!). i can only imagine they'd be frustrated with him and themselves but theyre just loving large idiots (': - anon

ahh yes all the prompts

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: implied/referenced self-harm in the form of intentionally depriving oneself of physical contact because THAT COUNTS

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic I don't care

Word Count: 3462

Arthur is confused, very upset, and nothing is alright anymore, thank you very much.

Because you see, despite the image that he tries to present—emphasis on the word ‘try’, there, according to his knights—he does care an awful lot about his people, especially his one particular person that happens to be able to say an awful lot without saying anything.

Merlin. He’s talking about Merlin, in case you hadn’t noticed.

The problem is that for all the man can ramble on about seemingly anything, at any time, he’s remarkably good at saying absolutely nothing about himself. He claims he’s an open book, but he’s certainly in a language that Arthur doesn’t know how to read.

He does know how to read, just to clarify. That isn’t the issue here.

No, no, the issue is that after months, years, almost a decade of Merlin by his side, watching his back, taking care of him, he’s discovered that there’s a secret that Merlin’s keeping from him. One he never intended to tell Arthur.

And before you panic, no, he’s not talking about Merlin’s magic.

Come on, it’s not like it’s not obvious, the man isn’t exactly good at hiding it. Does he seriously believe Arthur can’t see the tree branches that miraculously pick themselves up and fly at the nearest bandit or the spears that fling themselves at the foe about to behind Gwaine? Or the chores that mysteriously get done too fast for Merlin and far too efficiently? Or the way certain magical ailments seem to vanish mysteriously along with his idiot of a servant only to be greeted with a soft shrug when he pokes?

Merlin’s eyes also turn gold, that’s pretty neat.

So Merlin has magic.

Yes, we know, we had a small tantrum over the fact that he told Lancelot first, but it’s fine. Quite frankly, a lot of things make more sense now.

Except for this. Not this.

Merlin is hiding the secret that he believes he’s a bad person.

Now, Arthur’s not sure if you’ve met Merlin, but the man isn’t exactly the image of the evildoer that springs to mind when someone says ‘bad person.’

The Witch Finder, now there’s a bad person. Storming into Camelot, preying on the fear of the people, bribing and threatening and drugging people, torturing them, and condemning them to death just for the sake of a few coins.

Merlin did storm into Camelot, that is true, but he decided to pick a fight with the crown prince and then save his life. He’s not here for coin—if he were, they wouldn’t have had that small, er, issue about the steward not paying him anything for his work for the past eight years, honestly—and he’s certainly not preying on anyone’s fears. Except perhaps Arthur’s fear of losing his dignity.

The look on his father’s face when Merlin dodged the pillow…

Speaking of his father…there’s another one.

His father did not prey as openly on the people’s fear—or as obviously as Aredian, but prey on them he did. He was a strong king, sometimes too strong. He was a blind king, saw the people as nothing more than subjects, not the living breathing humans they are. He remembers Morgana’s voice, saying that authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force.

He always wanted to see Uther’s face when his ward—when his daughter said that to him.

And what he’s done to Morgana…

Arthur grimaces and shakes his head. Perhaps the very truth that he resents the idea of thinking about what Uther did to Morgana, to him…perhaps that is enough.

Those are bad people. At least to Arthur.

Merlin, on the other hand…

Merlin came into Camelot, knowing that if it was discovered that he has magic, he would be burnt at the stake. He came, not with any aspirations of glory, simply because he trusted his mother when she told him to come to Gaius. He came and he was given a job he never asked for, one he had no idea how to do, and stayed.

Merlin learned. Slowly, perhaps, but he learned. Now he has enough knowledge on what a servant should do to break the rules in the most spectacular fashion. Arthur smiles, biting back the chuckle at seeing George dressed up like Merlin and acting perfectly proper and the urge Arthur had to throw him out of the room.

And that’s not even mentioning what he does when he’s not following Arthur around.

Merlin learned. Merlin stayed.

Not just for Gaius, but for Arthur.

Arthur leans onto his desk, staring out into the courtyard where Merlin is tending to the knights’ horses as they mount up for patrol. He watches Leon step a little closer, lowering his head to mutter something to him, watching Gwaine clap Merlin on the shoulder.

Watches Merlin flinch a little too hard.

Watches Leon’s brow furrow and Gwaine take a step back.

This. This is the problem.

Merlin believes he’s a bad person. Which is wrong, but for some reason, he does.

And because Merlin believes he’s a bad person, he believes that anytime one of the knights touches him—or anyone touches him—it will be to hurt him.

How did they come to this conclusion, you may ask?

Arthur bites back a snarl as he turns away from the window.

It had started with the complements.

Gwaine, to no one’s surprise, was quite fond of flirting with anyone and everyone that would let him, Merlin no exception. Talking about Merlin’s looks, his personality, his work ethic, anything, and everything. Merlin would flush, bright red, ears and all, mumbling to himself.

But then Percival had said something and Merlin pushed him away—well, prodded his arm, no one really moves Percival without Percival letting them—and shook his head. Percival had shrugged but the rest of them had noticed the tension in Merlin’s shoulders.

Then Elyan complemented Merlin’s tracking abilities and Merlin hadn’t even acknowledged it, instead insisting that they keep moving before it got too dark to see and they’d be forced to make camp in the woods. They’d agreed, pressing on, but noting the way that Merlin refused to say so much as thank you.

Leon’s perceptiveness should be considered magical. Seriously, Arthur’s not entirely convinced the man can’t see into people’s heads, what with the information he’s able to produce out of nothing more than the twitch of a finger or the slightest huff of breath. But he sees the way Merlin shies away from any display of affection, even as he gently repeats it, watching Merlin turn his back and get back to work.

Arthur never saw what happened with Lancelot. All he knows is that one night, out in the woods, the two of them had gone off to collect firewood and Merlin had been hiding red-rimmed eyes when he returned, a few paces ahead of Lancelot, not ten minutes later. Arthur had glared but the forlorn confusion on Lancelot’s face had given him pause.

Then it was the touching.

One would expect Merlin to be a quite tactile person, and he is. He’s all shoulder nudges and pokes and prods and gentle shoves to get people to move where he wants them to go. And it’s not like the man has much concept of personal space.

No, some of that is not Arthur’s fault, how dare you?

But when someone else tries it, Merlin tenses reflexively, already moving before their hands make contact. He gives everyone he can a wide berth, scuttling around the outside of rooms until one of them breaks and tells him to come here, Merlin, it’s alright, we won’t hurt you. His face never quite believes them.

The strangest thing is how much of it Merlin makes small adjustments for.

He always wears those god-awful tunics, that he won’t let Arthur replace with fabric that doesn’t feel like it’s a burlap sack, with the sleeves pulled all the way down and those kerchiefs tied around his neck. Arthur’s seen his sleeves rolled up before, but only when Merlin’s working and he hasn’t realized Arthur’s there yet. It’s not like Arthur doesn’t know Merlin has forearms, but Merlin will always jump and guiltily roll his sleeves down.

He doesn’t notice why until he accidentally brushes Merlin’s bare skin once and Merlin all but tears away like he’s been burned.

He doesn’t know why.

Merlin has a secret. The secret is that he believes he’s a bad person. That means he can’t accept compliments and he can’t let them touch him.

This is a problem, because Arthur would very much like for Merlin to believe that he isn’t a bad person.

This is also a problem because Arthur has no idea how to do that.

He looks up when there’s a knock on the door.

“Enter.”

“Sire?” Leon steps through. “May we come in?”

Arthur nods, his eyebrows raising as all of his knights spill into the room.

“Shall I assume you’re on the warpath again?”

“Nah,” Gwaine grumbles, throwing himself into a chair, “know this isn’t your fault.”

Leon shakes his head. “It’s Merlin, sire, we’re…concerned.”

Arthur just sighs and tells them what’s been buzzing around his head for the past…however long it’s been. The knights nod.

“He doesn’t like to be touched when he doesn’t expect it,” Lancelot offers, “but when I ask…he doesn’t seem to want to agree either.”

“But he does,” Gwaine argues, “you’ve seen the way he stares at us when we hug each other, he looks like a poor child that’s never had a hug in his life!”

“Which isn’t true.” Elyan folds his arms. “Gwen’s hugged him.”

“We’ve all hugged him.”

“But he still thinks we’re going to hurt him.”

“Well,” Arthur mutters, “we can’t exactly blame him for being paranoid, can we?”

“If you lot are going to talk about me behind my back like it’s a war council, then yeah, I reserve the right to be paranoid.”

“Merlin!”

“Thank god, where’ve you been?”

“I thought we were meeting by the stables.”

“Did you get hurt?”

Merlin raises his hands and takes a step back. “Whoa, can I get through the door first before the interrogation starts?”

“This isn’t an interrogation,” Arthur says, glaring at the knights, “we’re concerned.”

“Uh-huh,” Merlin mutters, weaving through them to the table so he can set down the thing hooked over his arm, “yes, I’m all too familiar with your concern.”

Arthur frowns. “What does that mean?”

Merlin waves a hand. “Oh, just that it’s a prelude to more chores and things to do.”

Is that…true?

“Yes.”

Did he say that out loud?

“Also yes.”

Arthur shakes his head. “Merlin, we’re not coming up with lists and lists for chores for you to do.”

“Really? With how many you all constantly give me, here I finally thought I’d cracked the code as to why.”

Leon steps forward. “We’re not coming up with things to give you, Merlin, nor are we intending to gossip behind your back.”

“So what are you doing?”

“We’re worried,” Lancelot repeats, “about you.”

“Well, I’m right as rain, no need to worry.”

“Lie.”

Merlin’s eyes go wide and he stares at Leon. The knight smiles ruefully and takes another little step forward.

“Lie,” he repeats gently, “you don’t have to lie to us, Merlin.”

Merlin’s mouth thins. “Maybe I don’t want to tell you, then.”

“Why not—“

“No,” Arthur breaks in, causing Merlin to swing his head around again, “no, if Merlin doesn’t want to tell us he doesn’t have to.”

Gwaine looks on the verge of protest, but another look from Lancelot is enough to quell him. He sinks into the chair and tosses an apple to Merlin.

“At least eat something,” he says by way of explanation, “you’ve not eaten anything since lunch.”

Merlin looks very confused—good, now he’s just like the rest of them—but bites into the apple nonetheless. His gaze travels around the room before coming to rest on Leon.

“Why are you all concerned?”

“Because you won’t let us complement you, Merlin,” Leon says softly, “you believe that every time we touch you we intend to hurt you, and you believe that this is deserved because you are a bad person.”

The flabbergasted look on Merlin’s face is almost enough to make Arthur laugh. Almost.

“How…”

“We notice things, Merlin,” Leon says patiently, “we notice you.”

Lancelot snorts. “Good going, mate, you’ll freak him out.”

“Um—there’s nothing worth noticing about me—“

“Not we all know that’s not true,” Gwaine says, and if it had been any other time it would’ve sounded like the next pick-up line at the tavern, “you’re worth noticing, Merlin.”

Merlin’s gaze darts back and forth, finding no disagreement in any faces.

“What—what were you concerned about?”

“Aside from what we just told you?”

“But I don’t—why is that a problem?”

Arthur swallows a curse. “Are you asking why we’re upset that you believe you’re a bad person and you deserve to be treated badly?”

“…yes?”

“Because you’re not a bad person,” Elyan says, “and you don’t deserve to feel like everyone’s about to hurt you.”

Gods, the look of disbelief on Merlin’s face hurts.

“You don’t know that,” he says lowly, setting the apple down, “you don’t know that.”

“Sure we do.” Elyan uncrosses his arms. “We know you, Merlin.”

“I don’t think you do.”

A look passes around the group of knights. Elyan smiles.

“I know that Gwen came home and told me she’d made a friend the first week you arrived in Camelot. I know that you’ve reminded us what family means. I know that you care, Merlin, about your friends, because they’re important to you.”

Merlin blinks in confusion.

“I know you’re a strong man,” Percival says, “and not just because you can lift the packs for the horses without complaining. But you work hard, because you know you can, and so that people don’t have to. You provide what you can because you know what it’s like to have nothing.”

“I—I—“

“I know you’re brave,” Lancelot says softly, standing, “I know you feel the same fear that we all do and you stare it straight in the face.”

He pauses, takes one step closer.

“I know you don’t chase the glory of being brave, but the feeling of being brave and using it.”

“Guys, I—“

“I know what you’ve done.”

Merlin’s face goes pale at Leon’s words.

The knight tilts his head to the side and smiles.

“I’ve been around the longest,” he says in a near whisper, “and I have seen the changes from when you arrived in Camelot until now. I’ve seen the differences, not just in the other men in this room but in Camelot.”

He lays a hand on his chest.

“I know that you’ve made me prouder to serve this kingdom than many others that have tried.”

Poor Merlin is shaking right now, his fingers trembling on the edge of the table. He looks around in confusion, terribly frightened, sending more aches through Arthur’s chest.

“You wouldn’t say that—“ he gasps— “you wouldn’t say that if you knew the truth.”

“And what truth is that?”

“That—that I—“ Merlin’s breaths start to ring in the chamber— “I—I—“

“That you have magic?”

Merlin’s head jerks around to stare at Arthur. Arthur raises his hands and takes a step closer. Merlin flinches.

“It’s alright, Merlin,” Arthur says softly, “I’m not angry. I’m not going to hurt you. You have magic, though, right?”

“Yes—yes, I—but I’ve only ever used it for—for you Arthur, I—“

“Easy,” he soothes, fighting the urge to reach out and pull him close, “I know. It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not,” Merlin all but whimpers, “it’s not okay, it’s bad, it’s bad and I’m bad, I’m bad—“

“You’re not.”

“I am!”

Merlin yanks his arms to his sides, curling them tightly around himself, much to the protest of the knights. His fingers whiten as he clutches the sides of his tunic.

“I’m bad, bad people get hurt, you don’t—you don’t touch bad people.”

“Merlin,” Arthur breaks in softly, “Merlin, sweetheart, I’m going to come over to you.”

He can hear the quickly stifled gasps and Gwaine’s ‘oh shit’ as he inches towards Merlin. The poor man doesn’t move, but the tremors get worse and worse the closer Arthur gets.

“I’m right here,” he murmurs, “I won’t hurt you, sweetheart, do you believe me? That I won’t hurt you?”

“I—I—“

“Because I won’t,” he promises, still fighting the urge to swoop the poor thing into a hug, “I’ll never hurt you, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re not bad, Merlin, and you certainly don’t deserve to be hurt.”

“You don’t know that,” comes the strangled whisper, “you don’t know what I’ve done.”

“But I know you, Merlin,” Arthur murmurs, “and that’s enough.”

He can’t stop the concerned noise at Merlin’s huff of disbelief.

“It’s enough, sweetheart, it’s—hey! Easy, easy,” he soothes as Merlin’s knees buckle and he catches him before he can hit the ground, “I’ve got you, shh, shh, you’re alright.”

“Oh,” Lancelot murmurs as Merlin starts to shiver terribly, “oh, Merlin, you’re touch starved.”

“Touch starved?”

“He’s not been touched for a very long time,” Lancelot murmurs, hustling to join them on the floor, scooping Merlin’s legs into his lap, “and so he’s not used to it, but he needs it.”

“We all need touch?”

“Yes, otherwise our bodies get…unhappy.” Lancelot shakes his head. “I’m sure Gaius could explain it more. The short version is humans aren’t built to hold each other at arm’s length.”

Arthur tightens his grip on the lapful of shaking Merlin he has. There’s a cold nose buried in the crook of his neck, arms looping awkwardly around his shoulders. Distantly, he hears the scufflings of the other knights as they move closer.

“We’ve got you, sweetheart,” he fins himself whispering, “we’ve got you, we won’t hurt you, you’re safe, you’re good, we have you, it’s alright, now…”

Poor Merlin is still shuddering terribly.

“Shh, shh, easy, just try and relax, we have you…”

Since when has Merlin been this cold?

“Oh, I’m definitely hugging you every day,” Gwaine mutters, helping to prop Merlin up away from the table.

“Why—“ Merlin swallows— “why are you all so warm?”

“You’re cold,” Arthur says, “we’re helping.”

“I’m—I’m—what is it? Touch—touch—“

“Touch starved,” Lancelot offers gently, “yes, Merlin.”

“You’re helping?”

Gwaine shifts behind him. “We’re helping.”

“You’re not…mad?”

“No, Merlin, we’re not mad.”

“I’m not bad?”

Arthur tightens his grip. “Never, Merlin.”

“You—I can—I can stay?”

“Yes, Merlin,” comes the chorus of knights, “for as long as you like.”

Arthur is still upset, very confused, and more than a little overprotective right now.

But so is Merlin.

And they’re…they’re starting to figure it out.

One thing’s for sure: Arthur’s definitely pulling Merlin into bed to cuddle with him instead of getting up in the morning.

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #arthur pendragon #merthur fic #merthur #fic #dragonbabbles

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lgcmax · 4 years

Text

hellooooo my legacy loves !! i hope life’s been treating you all well ! i know right now things are still pretty difficult ( as been all of 2020 tbh ), so i just wanted to flood the dash w a little positivity !! you know, sometimes i feel bad because it seems that i can’t connect with everyone as much as i’d like, and it sucks !! but between my spotty activity at times and bad response times i didn’t want you to think i loved you all any less. so !!! below you will find a love letter to all of you lovely muns as well as some individual comments about my favorite thing about your muses everybody ! also, if you have lgc friends who aren’t really dash scrollers feel free to share this with them so that they can see !! anyways, go ahead and enjoy 😇💖

dear legacy,

okay - let me start by saying - i care for you sooooo so much !! and that goes for ALL of you reading this !! even if we’ve never talked, or you just joined, or we talk like every other month but never seem to catch each other at the right time ? i care for you !!! and don’t you ever forget it. honestly, legay is one of the healthiest places i’ve been in to develop my muse in a safe space, void of any judgement or just weird vibes. and that has to do with all of you, and i’d like to thank you for that !! our mods, of course, get a special hug for all that you guys do - i know that things can get hard, and we test your patience sometimes ... i get it !! but to us, you’re kinda like our rp parents ?? we might nag, joke, and annoy but it’s all out of love, we promise ahaha !! anywho, once again everyone i’ve met in legacy, has no lie been so special to me ?? and i want you guys to know that !! literally all of you, even if it was just a quick message, have made an imprint on the great rp experience i’ve had here and i’d like to thank you for that ! and no this isn’t me leaving, i promise i’m gonna stick around for a loong time to come ahaha. but honestly, who would’ve thought ? i was bouncing around from rp to rp, and i didn’t recall, if i’m being hoenst, expect anything to come out of me giving this place a shot for the 2nd time ? but i’m so grateful to have gotten such a wonderful experience that made me not want to leave. there’s always things to do, muses to meet, and it’s crazy how well everyone keeps the dash flowing ! i’m always excited to look at what you and your muses are up too, and honestly i’m lowkey invested in all their little relationships lol ?? but that’s what makes this place so special ! the friendships, the enemies, the romance, and everything in between has made this into such a unique writing atmosphere to be a part of. so for that, i say thank you. and here’s to more legacy for years to come !!

now for the special portion of my letter !!! in alphabetical order, you will find a compliment of mine for your muse below !! phew, here i go :

( and pls ... if i forgot u ... i apologize 20000x !! PLEASE tell me lol !! obviously this is for muses who are here at the time of writing this 10/2/2020, and i may update ! but if your muse is here at that time and you don’t see them PLEASE tell me i want to write them something but i might have accidentally deleted someone’s in the process of writing so many ! )

phunsawat kannika first of all i have the fattest crush on her fc ojoijjoioij !! anyways, i love the commitment to all her pages, all her character inspos are my favorite, and i’m really interested to see her adjustment to korea ! i think she’s doing a great job already and will show that she can go even further !

yoon aria i haven’t got to say it yet but i LOVE how much of a meme she is oijoiiooij !! esp since she’s a model, it’s fun to have one who’s this cool model on camera but honestly so real and fun ?? like it gives her so much depth and i’m sure she’ll develop a loyal fanbase of like-minded goofs ? i want her and nari to interact tbh haha !!

lee benji my KING ! i love seeing benji develop his sense of purpose and try to see what he wants to become in the long run, and also how he’s stayed true to himself even after mocing to a whole different country ! and of course, his commitment to caring for others !

pongsak tee i ship jinseo and tee oijojoijoij !!!!!! anywho we love the thai representation, i really have enjoyed seeing tee’s progress over the past few months and how he’s adapting to slowly coming into the starlight ? it seems he’s still managed to maintain his kindness and i really enjoy that about him !

im nari is void because she is my muse but i love her very much hee hee !!

kang eunho first off as i’m writing this i see eunho’s first words for his babysitting solo is him flipping out over how cute babies are and i just think that’s adorable lol. but anywho ! eunho’s such a little sunshine and def gives me baby energy ?? light of my life. he’s like legacy’s daily dose of vitamins !

im bomi hana ... my favorite girl who i’m in love with ojjojjoijioji !! i think hana is so weird and goofy in the BEST ways and she’s an example of someone who’s not a famous girl, but a girl who happened to get famous ? i love her for her quirks and all her uniqueness, gamer girls ftw, 10/10 main character material !

hwang minjun i also love shinha and minjun too lmao !!! they are ... v cute !! i love how warm minjun’s heart is from what i’ve seen, and how open and accepting he is to all types of people and welcomes them to his warm fuzzy heart !!! also i would like to personally thank him for taking max in when they were in tokyo max DOES NOT deserve !

kim jinah ah i love her sm !! i know it sounds like max talking, but i love how she’s basically one of the bros lmao ?? but really ! i love her dually embracing of her cuter side and her more casual one, and how she just seems like the type of person you can have a drink and a good talk with ? and her interactions w junghwan stand out and give her an unexpected soft side !

lee yushin i feel like yushin is the younger brother we all wish we had but don’t deserve !! just a real fresh breath of air, definitely a little goofy but just as sweet ?? has the capability to win over even the coldest muses hearts ! and i am rooting for actor yushin 100%. you got this bud !!!!

kim nami somehow nami always pops up first on my dashboard but i’m not mad about it at all lol !! and i think nami is actually very multi-dimensional ! she already seems pretty sure of where she wants herself to go, and i think she’s going to make a really good senior to mentor junior trainees once she’s debuted for a bit ! she def will come correct !!!

lin yue the way i’m SO invested in guessing what she’s eating but never can .... ahh !! also she loves martial arts which means nari would love her if she knew her uwu. anyways to me she’s quite the baddie, i feel like she’s got her toes dipped in a lot of things and therefore will be very versatile in what she can do ? i really love that ( outside of her outstanding visuals ) she actually has a v good personality and niche interests !

ahn dohwan i have promised myself i wouldn’t put any emphasis on fcs but since vernon is one of my ults i literally have to say: TASTE. anywho lmao !! dohwan gives me cafe boy vibes ?? hear me out. could totally see him making someone a macchiato while listening to their problems and offering advice ? he just seems like a v good listener & adviser ! i think once he debuts for real for real he’s gonna have a lot of bf material made by fans haha !!

leong charlotte first of all i just need to comment i saw a while ago on the dash when charlotte covered i wait and that was ?? iconic ??? we stan ??? streamday6pls ahem anyways ! her being in a band itself makes her an instant baddie, but beyond that she also seems v kind & passionate from what i’ve seen ! she’s got the cute & the fierce, and because of that i think she’ll be fierce competition in the industry once she debuts !

choi max is my muse however as my first bb here i love him deeply heart heart !!

jung ahin i will not lie i did not know seungwoo before i saw ahin, then realized he kinda looked like wonwoo and started to simp ?? IOJOIJOJ anyway this is more of an ooc note but thank u ahin’s mun for bringing me to the light 😇anyways !! i want ahin to do more things to make himself happy bc i think he really is this close to living his best life !! i want something really really good to make him super happy yk ? also i support his english learning journey !

kang jaemin HI ME REALIZING I NEED TO MESSAGE U BACK I’M SORRY SCREECH anyway !! he has a very warm presence, i feel like even when he debuts he’ll be the approachable type ? but also he’s just so smiley and i love it !! such a little fuzzball !! i do feel like more is going on in jaemin’s head than people would think, though ??

lee jaewoo listen jaewoo is my baby ok ... and he’s nari’s too ! also btw did you ever get that birthday text from her own his acc ? anyways i’m going wayy of topic let’s regroup lol !! i honestly admire the level of passion and drive he has so young, and he’s already come so far ? jaewoo has a lot of love in his heart for people and i hope he keeps that even after years of acting ! he truly is the light of lgc agency uwu !

seo yura i feel like yura is v real ! i think she only hides the things she feels are nessescary about herself, but to me she still comess off as really genuine ? it seems she has many types of connections present in her life, which i really like ! i think she’ll do really good at holding her own once it’s time for her official debut and i’m excited to see what’s ahead !

kang jun i think jun doubts himself far more than he realizes just how much he’s capable of !! jun is so adorable and he might hate me for saying that but it is what it is !! i don’t think he’s recognized his true power yet, and though that’s sort of good at humbling him, i think he will be a beast when he becomes fully confident ?? and i believe he will !! i think getting a proper fanbase will show him just how much he can do !

ji haneul okay haneul made it to type zero, so tbh he already has his life together more than half of us ?? IOJOIJOJ no but for real i think haneul is a true ✨professional ✨even if he wouldn’t believe me if i told him ? although HE might not be so confident in it, i think haneul’s growing into his more mature self well and it’ll actually help him in the long run as he starts his journey in the idol industry !

kang jina you know what ? i think jina would be a really good leader in her group, if she were to debut as an idol ! i think she has really good communication skills and seems to just vibe with everyone around her ? which is important, as a leader ! but i also feel like she could lighten the mood and kay down the rules depending on which is needed ? that’s just how i feel ! i think she’d do well <3

seo geonwoo first of his theme is so aesthetically pleasing wow ?? anywho ! i do really enjoy geonwoo and honestly need to pay him more attention ! i honestly respect the fact that he knows his own power, and isn’t afraid to be confident in himself ? he just seems v sure of how he wants to live his life which makes him seem v stable, and def in the right direction ! i think he most often knows whats best for himself, and that’s a really valuable skill to have !

ok miyoung first off i DEFININTELY whole-heartedly ship miyoung and hunji, i do !! 😌 but yes miyoung def has romcom protagonist vibes, and i mean that in the best way possible ?? like she’s got quite a lot of things going on for her simultaneously, all while trying to discover things about herself too ?? i empathize with the level of chaos in her life but i think she’s handling it all very well and it’s exciting to read about !

son nabi nabi my ANGEL. i didn’t even know nabi too well prior to us plotting but now i’m so glad that i do !! she has the kindest heart and is willing to go out of her way, even for people she isn’t that close to, just out of the good of her heart ? and i think that’s so powerful ! she’s so baby and i vow to protect her from all the horrors of the entertainment industry because she’s a prime example of light amongst darkness !

ahn jaehwa you knowww jaehwa’s my girl 😚 i just love her adventurous spirit, and how she definitely is filled with more mischief than she may show on first impression ? i think she can use that to her advantage, and it will translate really well as charisma !! her and max’s first interaction showed me just how much of a daredevil she can be and i love it ! psa, we need to plot again !

lee yohan first of yushina nd yohan’s broken friendship is some .... tea 🍵 i’m intrigued ... really i am !! i kinda wanna give him a massage chair for his birthday because i feel like there really is a lot of internal conflict going on in his head ? def hoping he achieves the dream od getting famous before he’s forced to enlist and drop his dreams, and in return for my support i am expecting free starbucks coffee on him, lol !!

bae nathan i honestly didn’t even realize just how iconic nathan is until we started plotting ? him and max share a lot of similarities, which i love, but beyond that he just is such a real dude who kinda just seems ... ok with being not perfect ? and i enjoy that ! he’s accepting the fact that he makes mistakes and knows that that’s ok. i feel like in the future he’d have a fire podcast ?? like i just feel like it’d be so real and entertaining !

han allie first of all, happy ( belated ? ) birthday to allie !!! second of all, producers in general are always just so interesting to me ? i feel like even though she’s still finding it, allie’s rather focused on creating a sound for herself and making it different ? def has the drive to make her dreams a reality, and i know she’ll do well ! allie, fighting !

kim junghwan i think junghwan has a heart of gold ! he’s good at working with others and def would have nice personality to just sit and talk about life with ! i think he also has a lot of hobbies and interests that are v cute and soft boi, so he’s definitely gonna attract the soft stans !! he’s another person i feel would make great leader material some day. also ship him and jinah all the way 😉

kim alex first off i LOVE luna she is my pride and joy .... i feel v embarrased i think we were supposed to thread and i forgot ! but that beside the point !! i feel like he does have crazy duality ?? at some points it’s like “wow, nice man, pet parent of the year” and other times it’s like “wow this man is wilding did he just say that ??” but ... the way i love both !! it’s so interesting seeing his conflicts and how he deals with other people, but maybe that’s the messy mun in me 🙊

ahn jaesun jaesun !! a king. first off i said it to danbi’s mun before but i am just putting it out there i love him & danbi together i do, i ship it !!! secondly i think, maybe because he’s been around for a quite awhile, but you ( the mun ) seem to have a very good grasp on his character ? i think he’s had really significant but gradual development, sort of coming out of his shell and expanding the things he’s willing to take on ! and i love that for him.

yoon shinha let me repeat that minjun and shinha - i ship it !!! i don’t even know hwo to describe it but i just love the energy shinha exudes !! it’s fun, playful, and full of energy, and i think that’ll transfer really well on stage !! he’s the type of guy who’s just down for whatever and i feel like he could befriend anybody if he really wanted to ! i like that about him and think he’ll have no problem getting along w whoever he works with in the future !

kyo miyeon my queen .... oh how i love her ! 😣❤ i think miyeon’s got a cold exterior with a soft interior ?? like she’s sososo composed and a little cold on the outside, but in reality she’s just over here loving animals and the simple things in life ? i think once she debuts she’s going to have fans have v passionate debates about whether they like her cool or soft side more since they’re both so prominent and so good !!

løvehjerte emil first off emil being from denmark and his name immediately stood out to me when he was accepted, and to me makes him v unique ? also doyoung rights ;) i like how well he seems to adapt to the situations presented to him, even if they’re new and unfamiliar to him ! i think he has his ability to keep his cool, but is still learning a lot from being a trainee and proving he can definitely grow beyond what he’s already accomplished !

jung miso miso is the baddest b no one can change mt mind oijoijoijo !!!!! but no for real i always have admired miso even if i haven’t got to interact w her on my muses too much ? at first i def got vibes of the popular girl everyone wants to be just like ? but i’ve realized she’s a loot more ! she has ( shrek vc ) layers, and i think it’s good to see someone who has a lot of things people would see as ideal, but without being unobtainable !

nam yunho yunho intrigues me so much !! i’m sad max hasn’t gotten to interact with him yet lol !! i feel like in this i keep comparing muses to character types but - just take a journey with me ok soijioiofoijfio !! i so see yunho as one of those guys in the movies about small town who’s family has has a business there for years and he’s the chill guy who shows the main character around town ? AND THAT’S A GOOD THING LMAO ! i feel like he’s just immensly chill and always is just vibing and down for a good time ! <3

jo jiwoo i think jiwoo is so exceptionally cute !! but don’t underestimate her because to me she also does have a very fiery spirit ?? and i love it !! def would have the potential to be a maknae on top and i am here for it !! but since she wants to be an actor i def see her even stealing the hearts of the staff ?? the best example of a puppy in real life i’ve ever seen !

na sera first of all being a twin is automatically cool so there’s that ?? but also !! i like how hard she’s fighting to prove her own, individual self worth ! i’m definitely excited to see how she’ll find her “thing” that really riles her up and makes her feel passionate ? and that maybe she’ll decide the idol thing is for her and go forward with it as a career !

min soyoun i think soyoun’s definitely go the girl next door charm, she defintiely seems like the type who you could be friends with easily, and i think she’ll maintain that even when she’s more famous ! she gives me free spirit vibes, and i think that even if she doesn’t know how, life will somehow work to make sure she always does well ! she’s defintiely proved her individuality and i think she’ll stand out from most around her !

geum danbi ugh danbi ... the way i’m obsessed with her ! i mentioned this already but her and jaesun ? cute we ship it !! i am a stan, i am ! anyways i think that danbi is so powerful, and i don’t mean that jokingly ! she does hold a very commanding presence for me, and i really respect her resilience in continuing to fight for her debut, even after being discouraged numerous times in the past ! i think that’ll make her debut all the more worth it, as she has taken the time to get even better and improve her skills !

jang taesung taesung ... the way i really am fascinated by him ! i don’t even interact w him on my muses but he’s still so entertaining to me !! he’s so casual and i just enjoy seeing his interactions ? he isn’t afraid to be authentically him, and though he doesn’t really show it in his words all the time he’s got a lot of emotions swirling around there ! he do ... he do be messy sometimes i get it ?? he’s a lil problematic ?? but it entertains me so we will take it !

song ahri ok i don’t want to claim this bc i’m not COMPLETELY sure but do i have permission to ship her and geonwoo .... i saw their thread on the dash and they’re so cute what 😚💖 ( revision : they are together i can say this lol !!! ) anywho onto ahri things ! she just seems like the sweetest person EVER she’s v gentle with her words and actions, and definitely seems like a comforter of sorts ? i think that, whoever she gets close to, would def have her to lean on in hard times ! she’s like

son seolmi first of congrats on seolmi as the new musical actress !! we need more of them >.< but i feel like when seolmi looks back on her training experience she’ll be very proud of herself ! she has made a lot of improvements over her training period, found her passions, and worked to prove herself ! but i think, although she’s working v hard, she’s also doing twice as good at maintaining her friendships and being good to the people around her !

seo minseok minseok a true angel !! i know we haven’t gotten to write together in a while, but seeing his thread w nari we had i saw how kind he was ! he’s loyal to the people he calls friends, open to trying new things, and i think in the future when he gains experience he’ll be a really great mentor to the people who he precedes !

oh max ok first off i feel like i cannot not say this everytime i see him on the dash or a thread with him i’m constantly in a state of confusion about which max it is oijoioiiojaojoi ?? but !! i’m despite their names, they’re actually pretty different ! because unlike max choi, oh max is has a very loving and warm personality, and even though he comes from money you couldn’t really tell by his personality ?

park dohyun i def want him and max to interact together, side note !! because they’re both goofs and, of course, we need as many lgc boys connections as we can ! but anywho, i love dohyun, as i feel muses such as him are v necessary ! he definitely provides comic relief, and even though he doesn’t like to reveal his emotions, that just reveals another component to his emotional depth ! even if he isn’t someone who is vulnerable, i think it is great he does his best to make others happy !!

lee jiho i mean can i pls just adopt jiho as my child ?? he’s so cute oijjoijoij !! i think all though he’s ambitious and knows what he wants in life, he’s also realistic with himself and knows what he can expect and how to work toward a clothes ! it’s a trait not everyone has so i like that he does ! i think he’s also enough of a positive thinker that throughout any troubles he may have, he’ll get through it with a nice mindset !

lee hanbyul i think that once debuted officially officially, hanbyul will definitely grow in popularity almost immediately ! she’s already done well at gaining the hearts of fans even when she was a trainee, and with so many friends and opportunities under her belt she’ll get big in no time ! i think she’ll definitely be well known and that she’ll bring multiple fandoms together because it’s just hard not to like her !

jung jihye i love jihye !! she’s so raw and rolling with all the punches life has given her ? even after a rocky start to her career, she’s ready to give it a second chance, and although she went through a lot of bullying discovered a newfound love for acting ! i think that her dedication to being happy will show in her passion for whatever she acts in in the future, and i’m excited to see how the public perceives her !

tsai sunisa isa is the ultimate chill dude haha !! i think that he’s very calm and level-headed, while not coming off as careless ? although he’s very casual, he clearly does care about the other’s around him, and i think for him that shows in the little details rather than the big things ? i think he’s the type of person who does well at picking up on the energies of others, and noticing small details about them ! v v cool 💖😌

shin yeseo u KNOW me and max are collectively whipped for her oijoijoi !!! no but honestly, from what i’ve viewed of yeseo from an outside perspective, she’s goes beyond the socially required level of thoughtful ? she really does listen to everyone’s perspective and do what she thinks is best for everyone involved and i really like that ! i also like that the simple things are enough to make her very happy, and that she puts her all into the ones she cares for !

kang yonghwa i love how in love yonghwa is in with life, and how bright his spirit is !! he has such a ... sunshine spirit ? that’s the best way i can put it ! he’s just so positive the majority of the time, and i feel he has the ability to see the best traits of others and bring that out of them ! i also love his sense of adventure, and i think he’ll be a favorite for fans in no time ! kang yonghwa, 10 / 10, our best boy !!

kim hyunbin hyunbin reminds me of a cartoon character, in the best way ! he’s definitely very theatrical, and also has a more playful, teasing side to him ? i think that everyone needs a hyunbin in their life because he’s very considerate of the emotions of the people around him, and on top of that has a lot of interests and boosts any social scenario !

choi jinyoung jinyoung ... an angel ! it’s so my fault we don’t but we should plot more ! uwu anywho ! first off, happy belated birthday to him ! i noticed that during our to the max thread, despite being a little overwhelmed by human tsunami max choi, he stayed very polite and was open to trying a new experience out, and for that i really gained respect for him ! i think he’s a v soft boy but i don’t think he’s weak at all, in fact maintaining his kindness for others has shown my just how strong he is !! 😇😇

oh eunhye just like her article says, eunhye has a real knack for entertaining and i think it’s already begun to show ! i think her authenticity easily transfers to the camera, and that it makes people love her all the more ? she has the type of hypnotizing personality that makes people want to get to know her, and i don’t think it’s coincidence that she’s had the opportunities that she’s had already come to her !

oh gitaek congrats on becoming a producer gitaek !! clap clap !! hehee but i think gitaek is very adaptable ! even in environments when he doesn’t want to do anything, he’s going to push through - like dancing, for instance ! also him and hyunbin’s dynamic ?? v interesting. i’m invested on seeing where it goes ! i think gitaek has a lot of potential, much of which he’s already showing, and i think he’ll have no problem discovering himself fully and becoming big !

son alec just gotta say i always mix him and alex up on accident i wanna scream oijooi !! but also while scrolling his page and saw this: “ old people are amazing, is the conclusion he’s come to yet again ” and i just wanna say i love him for that ojojoioij !! but anyways, alec gives me the vibe of a young adult still sort of finding their way, and i really love that ! he enjoys what he does but still has doubts, and i think that little back and forths very important ! i hope he becomes a super famous actor and achieves all his dreams !

son jieun i love how much jieun cares for her friends !! she was bold enough to straight up call taesung out for mistreating allie and tbh ... kinda in love with that energy ?? i think her bravery goes beyond even just this though, as she’s already tried many new things that others may have strayed away from in fear ! her sense of justice and determination is something i admire and honestly i feel like if it wasn’t for her obvious career path she’d be a great lawyer haha !!

nam jueun it’s the way i want to claim that i indeed am one of seojin & jueun’s biggest fans ... i am 😌✌ but listen !! i have to respect jueun for the way that she’s managed to repair a damaged relationship AND work on herself and her career at the same time ? and both are going good ! she’s also got a real edge to her, and i feel like she doesn’t realize just how cool she is ?? we stan !

park seojin now we alr know ... seojin is one of the muses i am most whipped for in legacy i cannot lie i’m sorry !!! listen ,,, i love my tsundere !! he’s had exceptional development, but in really small yet significant ways, and he’s grown so much in the time he’s been here ! in terms of max, he’s definitely starting to take on a more nurturing role, and in term of himself, getting a better idea of who he is as an artist and a person and i think that’s gonna really show when his band debuts ! also think he’ll be a strict yet incredibly respected mentor when the day comes ? anyways i’ll just say i l*ve park seojin and go 😭💔

lee jiae lee jiae, the apple of my eye !! i was astounded how much kindness could be fit into one small body ?? even in situaitons she doesn’t like, she maintains her bright spirit that brings people to her in the first place, and i think that comforts the people around her if they’re having a hard time as well ! but i think she also does have a bit of a chaotic side when panicked and i do love it i do !! do not underestimate lee jiae everyone i am betting all my money on the fact that she can beat some ass !!

hwang sori first of all her theme made me gasp it’s literally so incredibly gorgeous omg ?? but !! the first thing i read was hwang sori is an ugly crier and that made ME ugly cry with laughter LMAOWAOOA !! even though she’s relatively new i’ve already come to love how out of the box and unapologetically her she is ! she has so much to offer, both on and off stage, and i know she’s destined to be a star ! i’m already so invested and excited to see what she does in the future !

lee aaron aaron !! our dad of the year sobs. of course, my favorite thing about aaron is how nurturing he is ! he has no problem taking care of others, and i think that although it’s easy for younger / less experienced trainees to be intimidated by those above them, aaron removes that stigma completely ! truly a gentle soul. my only complaint about aaron is that he’s so selfless that i feel he sometimes forget about himself, so aaron please eat more and take care of your health oijoijoioij !!

lee youngmin the way i love youngmin !! i was so touched by his patience when he helped my baby nari get herself together when it came to learning lines for cram school ! it proved to me that he’s a v caring person, and even if acting was sort of a sore subject for him, he still went through with helping her ! and that brings me to my next point - congrats for joining the actors youngmin !! i admire him for giving something he’s apprehensive about another shot, and i’m so incredibly excited to see how it goes for him !

song yifei ok even though i don’t know yifei too well yet seeing her intro did help me see why i’m going to love her so much !! i appreciate her adaptation to such an unusual environment like korea, and although i’m sure she’s homesick and a little lost she’s already doing her part to adjust to life in korea ! starting so young, i have to admire her work ethic and her strength by not giving up ! i’m excited to see what she can offer us all !

hwang minsik ok so !! even though minsik is quite the introvert, i think it’s v cool that he has worked past that, and although it may have been uncomfortable, got more comfortable performing in front of others ! i think that being in his head for the majority of the time will actually prove to work in his favor, as it’ll be easier to transfer all the emotions he’s feeling into his music when he locks down and pursues his dream of being a producer !

tsuchiya mitsuki from what i’ve seen, mitsuki seems to be very considerate of others, and i like that she celebrates other’s accomplishments outside of just her own ! the entertainment career can be a very risky and sometimes scary one, but i think that she’s doing a great job at rolling with it and putting her all into forming it into a serious career path for herself !

yamashita ichika i think she put it best - she’s new to korea, but not this world !! i love love LOVE how sure of herself ichika is, and though it may come off as blunt, maybe y’all aren’t just ready to accept the truth she’s spilling ... 👀 lMAO no but for real !! she’s a woman who knows what she wants and i never will be mad at that ! you can never say that ichika doesn’t keep it real and i think that’s something we need to learn from her !

hwang subin i think subin is incredibly self-aware, which really is such a super important trait to have ?? he’s had a lot of conflicts over his training period, but he’s overcame them, and to me he holds a lot of grace even in those scenarios he has this sort of ... calmness to him ? idk maybe that’s subjective but that’s how i feel ! i think in the end he’s going to turn the pain into power, and he’ll be one of the people really idolized for their resilience !

kim minjee i feel like along her path to fame, she’s learning all sorts of new things about herself in the industry, and that feeling of self-discovery is awesome ! i think she’s a really good example of the changes people go through throughout their path toward stardom ! i think she does her best to embrace both the highs and lows life brings her, which i think is preparing her to be a really steady person when it comes to being famous !

im hyunjin my baby !! the way i love him beyond measure !! he gets along with max so well and i love how well they balance off each other’s energy ! he’s got a boyish charm that helps me remember that yes, a lot of the trainees are still kids at heart, and that reminder is v refreshing ! though a lot has been thrown on him with this trimester, he’s been a good sport, and i think he’s such an accurate representation of someone who’s growing up in the spotlight ! i think it’s enough for me to excuse him mixing up the maxs. 😚😌

okamoto akira what a wonderful soul ugh !! he really did impact nari’s heart with his unconditional kindness. i think he’s grown even in his time in the rp alone ? he’s so kind to others, and i love how he holds interest in other people and their stories ! even though he’s still getting adjusted to life in korea, i think he’s doing a great job at getting his name out there while making a good impression of himself. but like i said about aaron pls, akira, take care of yourself more !! you deserve the best, heart heart !!

jeon haeun haeun has such an intense drive when it comes to her love for dance and performing, and i hope she never loses that ! it’s the most important thing, after all ! she’s got such a spunky personality, which will work in her favor as it will keep eyes on her even after she’s off the stage ! she’s a baby, being so young, but already has proved herself to have a worthy place in legacy, and i think she’s even got the capability to teach the older trainees a thing or two, haah !

park viggo i definitely respect viggo, because of the insecurities that have developed from his biological parents putting him up for adoption, he’s shone so brightly already at such a young age ! and i just read his solo w / his encounter with his biological father and - literal chills ?? but .... phew ! i’m so impressed by how he’s had so many horrible experience influence his life, but not let it overtake him ? he’s so strong and if he can handle what life has already thrown at him, i know he’ll have nothing but good to look forward to from now on !

techaapaikhun kit i don’t think i’ve had the chance to tell you yet .... but god i LOVE kit oijoioi !! he’s such a loveable ball of fluff ! he has a very big heart, and i feel like even when he doesn’t know exactly what to do or what’s going on he’s still very much 😊💖✨ ?? you would never think he’s a foreigner because he just seems in high spirits ! also him and daehyung’s interactions ? 10 / 10 in terms of entertainment, definitely deserves a read !

ahn yein i love the short queen energy this woman exudes !! her duality is already quickly becoming my favorite thing about her ?? she’s so this and this ! i truly cannot wait to see how she’ll let her musical style influence the type of music she produces, and i think she’s a producer full of energy who has the potential for being famous for her music and her own personality !

seo yumi though yumi did go through a lot of hardship with her first debut, i really respect her for fighting to prove she deserves a spot in a group for a second time, even if the first time wasn’t even her fault ! i think because of it, even if her light’s dimmed a little, her enhanced discipline will work in her favor, as well as her prior experience, and potentially give her a step up among others ! which, hopefully, will make the hardships she went through not to be in vein !

han insoo insoo’s gone through quite a bit, and though i’d imagine that to be incredibly tough on him, he hasn’t lost his shine ! he still has a brightness to him when interacting around the people he loves, and i think that’s what it takes to be in a band ! i wish nothing but the best for him, because honestly, i think he’s just trying to get by and have a good time, and i really have to respect it !

choi jongsuk okay so from what i see jongsuk is a tad manipulative in the way he interacts with people ... and yet ... i stan ? obviously this isn’t a very good trait, but it is entertaining, especially for a messy mun like me haha !! i think, if he wants to, he can actually use his particularly good social skills to his advantage, and become a charmer among his fans !

choi daehyun omg prince daehyun rise !!! i always love the spoiled rich boy types, because to me, they have the most room for growth ! if i’m being honest with you as ... awful as he might be i think he’s one of those trainees who would 100% give everyone a run for their money ? because if he doesn’t have anything ( beside money ofc ) he has confidence, and well .... confidence is a dangerous thing !! i’m really really anticipating seeing how he’ll get along with the other trainees, and his journey in legacy !!

chwe hunji phew .... my adoptive son !! i admit i am slightly biased to hunji i am i am what about it !!! 😌💖 i gush about him all the time so i’ll keep it ( relatively ) short - i don’t think hunji realizes, but given the whirlwind of events that’s happened in less than a year, he’s doing a fantastic job of both grieving and growing !! he’s been able to look out for those who need him most even in his darkest times, put up with max’s shenanigans even amongst trying to decipher his feelings for him, and adapted to a ever-changing climate that comes with being a trainee in his hardest year ! not to mention how much he’s grown since his arrival !! his development ?? chef’s kiss !

kang dongwon first of all already massive respect to dongwon for doing school and training at the same time ?? that’s already difficult in itself ! but i think he’s taken a lot of risks despite not necessarily wanting to, like expanding outside of activities he’d expected that he would do ! it’s good for him to dip his toe into numerous places, and he’ll be less thrown off if he’s asked to do something unexpected in the future. also him & his relationship w his siblings is the best haha !!

park sarang first off seojin and sarang together are such a cool duo !! the concept of siblings in the industry is honestly so cool ?? but anywho ! but i soso admire sarang !! even though she was initially was following her brother’s dream, it’s gradually morphed into her own, and she really has developed an individual name for herself, which shows her passion and determinism ! i also love how they have a healthy relationship, even with normal sibling fights, without getting into super super competitive territory ?? that just shows her capability to love & that’s great !

kim jinseo first off !! his familial relationship w shinha ? we love to see it ! cutest cousins on the block ! but what i admire about jinseo is how stable he is ! i think he can help people and handle his own problems without getting too stressed, he’s a good problem solver and i think he can calm down and figure out the best way to approach a situation ? also once again him & tee ? cute, we ship it 😊

kim ara first off, friend of the year award goes to ara for helping hanbyul through her breakup and working around processing her emotions ! and also that she’s pretty mature in handling her own breakup w / nathan ! that brings me to the point that i feel ara is a thoughtful person, who definitely sees the good even in bad scenarios and tries to think of the positives that come out of her life, even if it can be difficult to do so !

jin eunji now we know that’s my queen !!!!! i honestly love seeing eunji’s development, and she’s much more of a deep character than she shows on the outside ?? and there’s even more left for others to discover about her ! she’s trying to work through her shit but I like her because she’s the realest depiction of someone who’s growing - because it’s not particularly nice or cute ?? it’s rough but it’s real, she’s struggling to grow and move through her emotions but she’s growing nonetheless and i love that for her !!!

park seon seon is def the type of girl who is just sort of taking it day by day, and i respect it so much !! she has a lot to discover of herself and what she wants to do, but quite honestly i like that about her !! i think that she’s still young and def doesn’t need to stress about it, and i like that she’s just sort of flowing in whichever direction that life wants to take her ! i can only imagine how far she’ll go when she discovers her true potential !

lim sanghyun i feel like sanghyun really is prepared for any situation that’s thrown at him, even if he feels like he can’t do it !! i mean, since birth he’s had tons of bad cards thrown at him, and yet he always manages to turn them into something good ? although it may seem like he doesn’t have good fortune, to me, it seems he has the opposite, because he always finds a way out the trenches !! i think sanghyun’s legacy’s phoenix !

choi daehyung omg daehyung has been a favorite of mine since he came !! i love peeking at the many relationships he has bc they’re tbh so interesting !! he's honestly fit to be a main character in a show ? and i think, despite what daehyung thinks, he’s grown a lot in the time he’s been here ! to me, he’s more aware of his emotions, and more reflective of the choices he makes ! sure he’s got some things to work on but let’s be real .... don’t we all ?

lau mike mike is such a breath of fresh air !! def a roll with the punches kind of guy - reminds me of those popular kids where it’s just like ... dang, things always seem to be go well for them ?? i’m jealous ?? but i think more of that has to do with mike rather than him just having good luck ! he does good at adapting & working hard, from moving to korea, to changing careers, to now training ! he seems to excel and everything he does and i have no doubt that will help him out in the long run !

li zimeng meng is so pretty !! but she’s also SO much more !! this whole thing of her feeling average, and like she didn’t really stand out in comparison to the other trainees .... it’s so real !! and honestly, so good for her ! even though she doesn’t feel special always, i KNOW she is, but i think it’s also great she has this good foundation ? because rather than being good at only 1 thing and realizing in the long run she hates it, zimeng has the potential to be super well-versed and i think she’ll be more aware of what she needs to work on to improve !

tsai king truly our king ... and i don’t mean that ironically !! i looove king’s development, i truly love to see it !! though he’s still got his pride, i think he’s transformed his confidence from blind cockiness to a reason for him to want to work hard and succeed ?? king definitely had things to work on, but he has worked on them, and i think he’s truly proved his place in legacy in the long time he’s been here !! also thoroughly impressed w how much he’s done !

bae doha i think that if I had to describe doha, it would be “ proceed with caution ” !! he’s a cautious person, i feel, who wants the balance between having a good life and keeping himself grounded ? which is a really good type of personality, and I think it would make him a leader for those around him ! he’s also very observant, and i think that will make him much more meticulous of a person as an actor !

song shaun first of all i gotta still thank shaun for doing tiktok dances with max back in the day !!!! that was iconic and i will never forget it lol !! and i'm so glad he’s back. anyways, i think shaun is definitely the type of person that’ll stay true to himself even after becoming famous, he seems v carefree, but also w/o not losing that ambition to work hard ??

pongsak arinya arin is so freaking adorable !!! i think she’s like a puppy and I love it !! she’s so curious about the way around her, i think she just loves what life has to offer her and in turn life loves her ?? she has such a playful and optimistic light about her and to me, it’s impossible not to want to be her friend !! her fans will easily love her <33

jeon haru to me, haru seems like a team player !! he listens to the input of other’s, and i think before rushing to do what he wants to do, it’s in his spirit to think of how his actions affect other people ! and i think that’s shown in how he’s babysitting on the show, even though he’s a little panicked ! i also think he’s a good self-soother, he’s good at helping calm himself down and make himself feel better, and to me that’s so great !!

liu jiao I think she’s doing a great job at making her reality one she enjoys ! she’s struggling to find the differences between her dreams and her moms, what she wants and what she doesn’t ! and still, i believe that she’s doing well and spreading love to those around her despite ! i hope she finds full inner peace and that she can live a life of happiness ( and a little wrecklessness tbh ) without any worries !!

#this took SO LONG my arm hurts iojooijoi !!#anyway ... hope u all enjoy !! <33 #ily all sm !!! <33 #( as told by jada :: ooc. )#( this is our page :: bookmark. )#this is queued bc i'm not home but i'll be on later uwu !

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lgbtqstuff-va4 · 4 years

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Vu's HRT Journey (7 months, November 26 2020)

CW: Libido/sex drive mention, acne mention, blood, menstruation, slightly TMI near the end (I briefly mention sexual stuff in the "vaginal atrophy" section)

Hi... Sorry I haven't updated in like, three months. Life happened and I just.. Haven't had the energy to make these posts. But I decided that I should do an update while I'm feeling motivated.

One important thing I'm gonna note though, is that I recently changed my dosage. Between 4-21-2020 and 11-3-2020, I was doing 50 mg (.25mL) T (Cypionate) every two weeks (IM). As of 11-3-2020 I'm now doing that same dosage, except I'm doing it every week instead of every two weeks.

Anyways, let's get into my experiences

Body hair

My body hair has been doing the usual, I guess. Um... One thing I noticed recently, is that I now have like, one singular, long black strand of hair growing slightly under my chin. Which is weird-looking, but exciting! I'm at the very start of having.. A beard. Which is weird, but again, it's super exciting!! Um, I also noticed that like... Just above where my chin starts, like between my lower lip and my chin, there's some short, black hairs growing in. They're pretty hard to see right now, but yeah. I also shaved my face for the first time(!!) a couple weeks ago. I only shaved my upper lip since that was the only like, actually noticeable facial hair I had at the time, but it was a neat experience anyways... And then I immediately regretted the choice lmaO. I HATE HOW IT LOOKS AND FEELS TO NOT HAVE THAT BBY MOUSTACHE THERE... but it's actually growing back in at a nice pace.

Throat/voice

My voice has definitely been getting gradually lower. Emphasis on gradually. But yeah. I've noticed that there are like, certain songs I like, and there are certain parts that were too low-pitched for me to hit three, two, and sometimes even one month ago... But now I'm actually able to hit them? Or at least sort of hit them? Which is like... Really cool, tbh. My voice has obviously been cracking often, and I've had like three times of note where it happened at work when I was talking to a co-worker... Oofers.

Sex drive

It could just be due to stress (caused by things in my personal life), but for a good two to three weeks this month, my sex drive just... Took a nosedive. Idk why. It seems like it's getting back up there again, but yeah.

Acne/sweat

I've... Been breaking out so bad over the last month or two 😩 (weary emoji) I've obviously been having a lot of acne since I started T, but my god. My jawline specifically has been breaking out a lot, but also? My back... I can't do anything to get rid of it 😔 (pensive emoji)

Bottom growth/general feelings "down there"

I'm over half a year into T, and honestly? I don't think I've had like, any bottom growth. At all. It's pretty annoying tbh

Body fat redistribution

Also haven't noticed any changes with this yet :/ my mom's pointed out that my face apparently looks kinda different, and I think I see what she means? Or maybe I'm just imagining it, idk. I still have this stupid hourglass shape though, and I hate it.

Mood/emotions

Ehhhhh idk. I've had a really stressful month, and it's also been a very weird month for everyone, so it's hard to really pinpoint what's being caused by T, and what's being caused by other things. Idk... I'm sorry I can't describe how my emotions have been lately to y'all :/

The gross thing (i.e. menstrual bs)

Unfortunately, I've been having the gross thing... And generally speaking, it hasn't gotten any lighter/less frequent. I went from the beginning of August to late October without one, but since late October I've been having them happen about once a month. Which, honestly sucks :/

Vaginal atrophy

Haven't noticed too much here. I mean yeah, there's slight dryness, but it's not bone-dry in there, yknow? I also noticed recently that I drew bl**d while doing.. Sexual stuff?? It was only a little bit, but still. I was kind of being too rough that time though... Sjdjjdjcjjcjf (Also... Me? Feeling kind of flustered by talking about this? It's more likely than you think)

So... Yeah. I'm gonna try getting back to doing these updates, but I might do them every two months instead of every month now. Idk. I guess we'll see what happens. Thanks for reading!

#vus hrt experiences #vus personal stuff #ok to rb #hrt #hrt journey #testosterone #started t on april 21 2020 #tw blood #tw menstruation #not sfw #long post #mine

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nathalie-sancoeur-assistant · 5 years

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Emilie Agreste

(Note, I do NOT remember if I have made an in-depth post on this before and if I have my apologies but I want to put this out there)

Okay so I know I say that I hope Emilie is going to be a villain but this is my OFFICIAL post on it, and I'm going to call it right here, right now, in front of everyone, that Emilie Agreste is not only going to be a villain, but she's going to be a force to be reckoned with (I mean, you can't just have the main-bad of the series NOT be ruthless, cunning and hard to beat, right?)

She's going to be charming. How else would she get Gabriel Agreste to fall for her and practically worship the ground she walks on if he's going to not only tear Paris to shreds for her, but risk the life of, most likely, his only friend in the world and one true ally, Nathalie Sancoeur?

Lemme take some time to break this down okay. Now I've spent a lot of time on this, didn't even initially type it out on Tumblr, mkay? I took this baby to sticky notes on my laptop.

First we gotta look at Adriens past just to get a feel for the type of person she was.

Adrien spent his childhood alone, isolated from other people, homeschooled, sheltered beyond whats normal or, even what can be considered extreme and his social life....well, it wasn't even dead, because something that never existed can't die. His only friend was, of all people, the bratty, entitled, snobbish and selfish person we know of as Chloe Bougeoirs (not to anger any Chloe fans out there, she has her pros and cons and I know its a result of a bad childhood as well, but she still uses people, manipulates them and hurts others purposefully to get attention and I don't care how bad of a childhood you've had, that's not okay and she needs to mature because at this rate she's going to stay an ignorant child for as long as she lives). Now, any normal parent might want their kid to have someone their age who was a good influence- and Chloe probably would have benefitted from Adriens present if he wasn't such a...for lack of a better word, a pushover. The poor boy didn't know what friendship was until Nino came about, before that his expectations were probably very low and he had nothing to compare it to. He was isolated for 14 years. Socially, he's dumb as a pickle and it's not his fault. He fits the perfect stereotype that people who are homeschooled are socially inept. So really, his nature as a pushover is a direct result of his upbringing- he doesn't know how wrong it is sometimes.

Now tell me, what kind of decent parent- especially one that needs their child to be able to put on a good image- would be okay with this? They might think "Oh he has Chloe" but I can guarantee you as they got older they could see more and more how bratty Chloe was getting and what a terrible influence she could be on their son- so why did they not attempt to help him socialize? It's not impossible for homeschooled kids to socialize and have a bunch of friends. There are libraries, parks, churches, social gatherings, community events, etc. that you can bring your homeschooled child to for a healthy dose of social interaction with the possibility of making friends- and with how well off these guys are you know darn well they could have gotten him to one at least once a week. Why go to so much effort to keep your kid behind closed doors? It has serious psychological effects that I'm sure people who are smart enough to get so far would know about. Heck you don't even have to be smart to know it- human beings are social creatures, even if some of us are introverted as heck and never want to leave our house, we still need human interaction otherwise we will get sick in some way shape or form. Emilie had a huge say in Adrien's upbringing and could have easily gotten him out of the house- and the reason I say she had a huge role is because, as soon as she was gone, Gabriel started doing what Nathalie suggested. This man relies on the women in his life to help raise his kid, because he knows he's not good at parenting to a certain degree. He trusted that Emilie, as Adrien's mother, would be able to know what was best and likely went along with it because "She'll know what to do. She's his mother and I trust her. If she says it's what is best, then it's whats best and it's what I want." But then as SOON as she was gone, he didn't have that to fall back on and in comes Nathalie, the second best thing. She knows Adrien, she's helped raise him. She's been around for a long time, surely not all her suggestions are going to be wrong. So he goes along with it. (And note while I stated that SEEMINGLY as fact, it was less FACT and more OBSERVATION on my part. I could be wrong! But based off what I've seen and my own intuition, this is how I PERSONALLY have interpreted the situation). But to clarify- no decent mother is going to allow their child to be so out-of-touch. Its perfectly normal to want to protect them but when its to that degree....something just isn't sitting right. (Not saying that Gabriel is off the hook! He could have influence if he wanted too! He has the power to step in and say no- but he doesn't. He does deserve to be shamed for it, just don't forget that EMILIE IS NOT PERFECT)

Now we move on to her personality. We don't know a lot about it, at least we haven't been directly told, but at one point in Simon Says it is insinuated that she had a temper. What a strange first thing to reveal about how she acted, when she's supposedly the ideal mother and woman? (My own personal opinion is that she is going to have that temper, and be bold, intelligent, strong, cunning, charming, and eventually shown to be ruthless, but that is ONLY because I feel that those are traits that accompany a main villain well. I'm not saying that for a fact and I could be COMPLETELY wrong- I thought Duusu was going to be a bitter bipolar ball of sass but from the small clip we've seen she's sweet as a strawberry. So don't take this as fact, PLEASE.) What a strange trait to put any amount of emphasis on for someone painted as ideally as her.

Also- why was she interested in the Miraculous? She knew about them, we know that for a fact, because she gave Gabriel the book. She, I believe, is the one who started this whole miraculous endeavor. I mean, Gabriel by himself I doubt would have any interest in traveling completely out of the country on some off-chance that these so called "magical trinkets" might exist, would he? That doesn't sound like him to me. Not something he'd partake in by himself. Not to mention, we know the miraculous are directly tied to her coma, and without any villains to fight, why on Earth would she be using the peacock miraculous so much? I don't recall it ever being confirmed but we all basically assume it's canon now that Emilie is in a coma because of the damaged miraculous. What on EARTH could she have been doing that required her to use the broken of their two miraculous so frequently? And not even cause any past of sentimonsters in the city (we know that because of how surprised everyone is about the sentimonsters beforehand, how even Ladybug questioned it when we first saw one) And in the end, the book was her last gift to Gabriel. It was hers, not theirs, hers. So that leads me to question- did Gabriel even know about the book until Emilie gave it to him? And if that's the case, why would she wait until she was THAT sick to give it to him? Something just feels off about that.

Now we go on to think about everything Gabriel says when he talks to her. Now there have been MULTIPLE episodes, I can't give exact quotes or even tell you what episodes they were, where Gabriel said something about ruling the world...yeah nah someone like him isn't interested in governing a world of idiots, I've heard that that was simply bad translation and we can also just chalk it up to him getting carried away and less referring to actual world-domination and more just showing exactly how much power he'll have if/when he gets his hands on those miraculous and make his wish. But Gabriel has said things about "promises" they made and "Righting their mistakes"- there is obviously more going on here than meets the eye. There has BEEN more going on here than meets the eye since day one. And we're still in the dark as to the Agreste's full story. Obviously Gabriel and Emilie have made mistakes and his goal isn't just to wish her back, but I'm going to say to potentially wish away the very mistake that caused the miraculous to be broken and Emilie to go comatose in the first place. Perhaps there's more to it but that seems like the most logical route to me. Again, we don't know the full story yet, which just leaves open so many questions and leaves Emilie up to even more suspicion. What was she doing that needs wished away? What broke the peacock miraculous? What did they promise each other?( I think I've mentioned that before and someone said Astruc addressed it or something but I digress, unless I hear something solid and concrete disproving it Im going to wonder about it forever. )

It's been insinuated I believe that the whole reason Gabriel became Hawkmoth was BECAUSE he wanted to bring Emilie back and right those past wrongs. His whole motivation to keep going could be that once he gets those miraculous and changes the past, he will never have had to have even become Hawkmoth in the first place and therefore his current actions don't matter so long as he succeeds and erases that part of his life completely. The ENTIRE REASON he became the supervillain Hawkmoth is because of his wife. And if he succeeds he could potentially wipe it all away and have a clean slate at the expense of someone else taking his place, of course. That may be what he is relying on to keep himself going and justifying his actions for all we know. People didn't know about Hawkmoth before origins, they were all surprised, so that's more proof that...he wasn't really Hawkmoth until his wife fell ill.

Not to mention all the symbolism we see. In Adrien's post on Instagram with Nathalie helping him with his homework, we see Nathalie, working hard to be of service to the Agreste child and fill the role of a mother while his biological mother's portrait, in all its "perfect" glory (Also a picture that clearly idolizes her, making her look almost like some sort of Goddess) sits blurry in the background...watching. That is the best example I have right now but if anyone else has more, feel free to let me know! I'm sure there are plenty of things here I forgot to mention that can be addressed, and if anyone thinks of any, PLEASE, send an ask my way and feel free to discuss it. But this has been my argument, and official "called it!" post on how Emilie is not all she's cracked up to be.

Also a side note- I'm also calling Gabriel succeeding. I believe he's gonna get the miraculous. Its just the twist the show needs, the 'bad guys' for once seeming to win, but they're all pawns in Emilie's game....that last line may be a bit drastic but Im not going to say I don't believe it to some degree.

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pinkchanelbag-moved · 5 years

Note

i just found your blog but i actually love it sm can you write a lil sum sum w nick based off sunflower bc i will never get tired of that song

thank you babyyy this is stupid long im sorry it got really messy and i ended up hating it but its too long not to post so im sorry that this is trash lol

---

sunflower - n.m.

you’d be left in the dust

unless i stuck by ya

you’re the sunflower

i think your love would be too much

“dog, you’re not really making any sense,” edwin sighed to his distressed friend. “slow down.”

nick sniffled and rubbed his forehead, scared of the deep feeling of resolution sinking into his stomach. the realization that this could be the end of his relationship.

“i told her i would pull up to her place after the movie, but after i just picked up z and we drove around and i kept my phone on silent ‘cause i knew she was gonna call.”

“you were avoiding her?” edwin asked, making a perplexed hand gesture. “why?”

“i don’t know!” nick exclaimed. “she’s flying home for her midterms tonight, and today was her last recording session so she’s gonna be studying all day and i just didn’t wanna be around her during all that brainy shit, it just gets on my nerves.”

edwin frowned in confusion at his friend, but held his silence.

“anyway, she called brandon to ask about the movie, and then you guys obviously, and when she got around to zion, that’s when i decided to go see her.”

brandon re-entered the living room with a bottle of water that he handed to his friend. he sat down on the floor across from nick’s seat on the couch and beside edwin’s on the loveseat. edwin rested his elbows on his knees, leaning in to listen, while brandon settled his back on the side of coffee table with upset eyes.

“she…she wouldn’t let me in.” nick paused to take a gulp of his water. the water squeezed past the lump on his throat. “she said she hadn’t studied at all ‘cause she was worried about me. she said she was done, and that she was tired of our relationship being her trying to get me to be nice to her and trying to trust me when she never knows shit about…about…i dunno, something like that, i don’t remember.” with his eyes glued to the ground in a deadpan stare, he said, “she said she didn’t wanna be with me. and then she closed the door, and i left.”

brandon and edwin shared a look before trying to detangle the situation that had just unfolded before them.

“so…ummm…” brandon rubbed his mouth. “have you guys been having problems like this? ‘cause i don’t think she woulda done this unprovoked.”

nick sighed, clenching his jaw in an attempt to hold back tears.

“i guess…i don’t know, bro…she’s just always busy. i mean, not busy, but always moving. she’s always doing the most, whether it’s recording or going to meetings or working on her clothing line or tryna stay caught up at college or…i don’t know, flying to the fuckin’ moon. and i’m just tryna be with her, not with, like…her grind. does that make sense?”

“kind of…” brandon answered.

“but nick, she literally invited you over on her only free night to study before going home for midterms. she’s trying.”

“yeah, i know, but it’s like…when i’m with her, it’s like i know that she could be doing some more important shit, and that she probably wants to, but she gotta slow down and make time for me. like, ‘don’t have dinner with me, you should be running for president or some shit.’ that typa shit. and i’m proud of her, for real. i really got the baddest out there, but i wake up and shower and maybe work out and then go see her, and by that same time she’s cleared half her schedule of the crazy amount of shit she has to do. when i’m with her, i feel like i’m wasting her time.”

“yo…” edwin said after several seconds.

“you’re a fuckin idiot,” brandon finished for him.

“yeah, thanks, fuck you,” nick said throwing his body back to the cushion.

“no, for real. you’re mad at her and treating her like shit because you feel small next to all her success? that is the worst thing a guy can do to a girl, nick. get over yourself, bro. you’re crazy about her and you’re avoiding her because she loves you and you’re—what, insecure?”

“yeah,” edwin gestured to brandon in agreement. “and she loves you too. obviously, or she wouldn’t have put up with your shit for so long. you got so lucky. a strong ass girl with her future and her life straight. if you feel like you’re not good enough, you should be doing the exact opposite of whatever the fuck you were doing before. you should treat her like the world. and why she loves you, that’s none of your business, man. that’s ‘cause of god.” he gestures to the air above him. “she’s winning in every part of her life except with you, because of you.”

nick’s eyes alternated between his two friends for some time, comprehending their advice. he dug his palms into his eyes and groaned.

“why the fuck didn’t y’all tell me that before she broke up with me!? she’s boutta leave the fuckin state!”

“when’s her flight?” edwin asked.

nick checked his watch and took a deep breath.

“two hours.”

“get the fuck outta here, then!” edwin yelled, getting up from his seat.

“i’ll call maggie and see if she’s already on her way to the airport,” brandon told nick, who was already jumping off the couch in search of his car keys. within minutes, he was on the road, flying through the night traffic one hand on the wheel and the other placing calls to your phone that went unanswered every time. after a few minutes, brandon’s text was a beacon of hope.

maggie says she just left ina taxi

nick swerved to make an exit that would take him to the airport, throwing his phone on the dash.

he drove for some time, heart thudding in his chest like a drum, looking through the window of any taxi he could see. finally, about ten minutes out from the airport, he spotted a taxi. as he neared it, he saw a familiar head of hair atop a lowered head, the curve of a nose. just briefly, he saw you sitting in the backseat.

he quickly found his place behind the taxi, never faltering. he texted your phone—stop the taxi get outta the taxi ill drive you there—and watched as you lifted your head and looked at the cars around you to find him. you looked over your shoulder and made distant eye contact with him. it was difficult to see in the darkness of the night, but he knew it was you, and you knew it was him. even from here, he could see how drained you were.

you left his texts unanswered still, but now nick knew where you were. he followed the taxi the rest of the way to the airport. nick watched the driver park and swivelled into place beside him. he jumped out of the car, and the first word out of his mouth was your name. he ran around his car to the side in which you were sitting. you hadn’t gotten out yet, but rather stared at the seat in front of you.

“y/n, can you hear me out?” nick asked. he moved to the passenger window in front of your seat and knocked on it, signalling to the driver. “i’ll pay the fare. i’ll pay the fare, i’ll pay it, i was supposed to drive her,” he says. the driver nods hesitantly before deciding to go on his phone.

“y/n,” nick said, back to your window. “please. okay, you don’t needa talk, but just listen, okay?” he swallowed, preparing to speak, but found that he had no words. he had been so worried about getting to you in time that he didn’t think of what to say to get you back. panicking, he tried to recall the things his friends told him.

“i’m…i—i’ve been treating you like shit. like, you’re right, what you said about how i’m not even nice to you sometimes. and it’s not…not cause i have any kinda bad feelings toward you. i love you. i love you, it’s like…i love you so much and you’re just so—“ he stopped his to take a breath, and the tears now caught up with him. “you’re so strong and intelligent and beautiful. you’re fucking radiant and you’re perfect, and you treat me so good that i feel like compared to how great you are, i’m just not all that. and you’re doing so much shit with your life. i feel like i’m in your way. ‘cause you don’t need me and that scares the shit outta me.”

you took a deep breath, hung your head, and nick felt like he was getting to you.

“please, can you just…come out? so i can talk to you?” he pleaded. he watched as you frowned in contemplation at your feet for five, ten, twenty seconds. finally, he stepped back as you slowly opened the door and stepped outside with your arms folded defensively over your chest.

“i…” he began, his heart aching over your puffy, red face. “i can’t take it sometimes. your love is too much, ‘cause there’s nothing i’ve ever done that would make me deserve it.”

finally, you met his eyes. nick felt all his emotions caving into his chest at once.

“you loving me is like…” he blinked at the sky for a moment. “it’s like…it’s like a flower loving an ant. it doesn’t make sense.” he tapped his temples in emphasis. “and i guess it’s just always been easier to avoid it than work toward even feeling like i deserve it.”

finally, he was done. he waited for you, praying you would believe him after the trust he had let wilt between you two.

“you always deserved it,” you said quietly, looking to the ground. “just by being you. i never asked for anything but for you to be with me.”

nick scratched the nape of his neck, his tears sliding lazily down his cheeks.

“i’m sorry,” he said in a cracked voice. you looked up at him, watched his contorted face for a moment with wet eyes before sighing and blinking. your arms unfolded from your chest, and after a moment’s thought, slowly came around nick’s waist. he pulled you into a tight hug and buried his face in your hair.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered several more times. you pressed your mouth to his shoulder and let your own tears run at the relief that you wouldn’t have to do this thing; you wouldn’t have to leave the man you love. you heaved a deep breath and melted into him for comfort over the hell that the last few hours had been.

“please don’t make me feel like that again,” you whispered in a genuine plea. “like you don’t care about me.”

“i won’t. never again. never,” he shook his head, voice muffled.

suddenly, you let out a small chuckle.

“what?” nick asked, pulling away slightly.

“i’m really gonna fail my midterm for you.”

#nick mara #nick mara imagine #nick mara x reader #nad.txt

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years

Text

And All The Queen’s Men {Roger Taylor}

A/N: 5486 words. Okay wow. Please bare with me, this is a long one and also a bit of a different one. Written in the style of a Rolling Stone article. Finished it at 7am. Prompt & support from the lovely @ginghampearlsnsweettea

[And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse masterpost]

Warning: Minor character death, in both senses, it’s a baby, it’s not graphic it’s just mentioned, but just thought I should let you know.

And All The Queen’s Men: how the lines blurred between Queen and and the Queen of Jazz Rock.

An article almost two years in the making, after their last tour, which I was invited along to in order to write the initial article, the rock sensation Queen split, a decision, I am lead to be believe, was instigated by front man Freddie Mercury, and though Giselle Jones had continued to make music, even before her very public, on-stage breakdown, her lawyers had me keep the article to myself. Now, with the band’s reunion, and Live Aid having been a massive success with both powerhouse musical names coming back into the public eye, I’ve invited them back to my office for one last interview, but mostly to beg them to let me publish this article.

Which, obviously, they allowed.

It’s 1985, and with them all sitting in front of me, I feel a sense of deja vu. There are some changes, of course, Roger Taylor’s hair is shorter, Giselle Jones is wearing jeans and a sweater rather than her well-known cocktail dress, but John Deacon’s still smiling at me, Brian’s looking about the room, perhaps seeing if anything’s changed, and Freddie Mercury’s draped casually on the left of the only non-Queen member of the bunch.

But before I get into the past two years, maybe I should take you back a bit, to when Giselle and Queen began collaborating.

Giselle Jones began in the late sixties as the front-woman of a swing band in a thirties theme pub known as Modern Glamour. Tall, elegant, with a voice like honey, she had a small following of regulars that frequented the pub, but had kept her passion from music from her family, claiming she was merely a waitress at the establishment, since her father was an executive at EMI, and she didn’t want to seem like the subject of nepotism.

However, one fateful day, her father brings music industry giant to the pub for lunch, hoping to catch Giselle at work and introduce her, but as you know, they both got a lot more than they bargained for. Foster sees potential in her, and offers her a contract if she’s willing to modernise her act, and as we all know, she does.

When Giselle releases her first album in 1970, Velvet Roses, which would be the first and only “Jazz” record to hit the Top 40 charts for that year, Queen are still playing pub gigs around London, though they’re looking at recording their first album, which would eventually get EMI’s attention, but that’s still not for a while. At this point, they’re the biggest fish in a very small uni-pub pond, and they need the means to grow. So out goes the band’s van, for one night in a recording studio.

“Like, in retrospect, of course it was the right decision.” Taylor leans against the back of the sofa he’s sitting on in my office in 1982, voice contemplative and fingers locked together as he looks into the past. “But I was twenty-two at the time, selling my van was a big deal.”

“A big enough deal that you wrote a song about it.” Giselle adds, sitting beside him in the middle of the sofa. Deacon hides a smile though May doesn’t hide his snort of laughter.

The smirked remark is at odds with her look. While the boys are all in various states of brightly patterned shirts and jeans, looking casual and comfortable; Giselle wears white, sequinned, off-the-shoulder gown that hugs her figure and hits the floor, a slit in the thigh where her leg crosses, dark skin a stunning contrast to both the white fabric of her dress, and the leather of my sofa. Hands folded in over her knee, there’s not a singular hair out of place where she’s got it slicked back; I can’t look at her directly, she’s so focused and well put-together that it’s like staring at the sun.

The contrast has always been apparent in their various works, though Mercury has, in the past, cited her as an early inspiration for his desire to add a certain classical gravitas to rock and roll, and though she hasn’t publicly stated anything, the amount of covers Giselle has performed lived could fill an album. And now, here they are, about leave for a double-billed tour of the US, which I have been asked to join.

But their connection goes back much further than this, all the way back to 1975, to the release of the smash-hit single Bohemian Rhapsody That very same year, Giselle releases her fifth single, Dinner and a Show, a lyrically dissonant, heart pumping anthem that’s a metaphor for the way any type of review fuelled her, since it meant people were talking about her work.

You serve yourself on a platter; your putrid delights, / yet how can I refrain? / You don’t come to flatter, you don’t want to go / so come on baby, / don’t you know? / You’re treating me to dinner and a show.

Giselle’s usually silky performance is turned into a masterclass of vocal gymnastics as she slides easily from the rough intensity of rock and roll, to the smooth purr of jazz as she sings about eating critics for breakfast.

They say a free mind makes the meat so tender / now you’re on the menu and I’m a big spender

The song itself comes as a response to her former manager about how her “aggressive” move to music that more stylistically rock and roll was alienating older audiences, though Foster, still her producer at the time, was pushing for her to skew to a younger audience, and it seemed as though he had gotten his way.

The real change, however, was the B-Side of the record. After speaking to Jim “Miami” Beach, Queen’s lawyer, regarding potentially covering one of the band’s songs, Giselle reveals that she was eventually told to just ask them directly.

“I gave Miami a letter that basically explained that I’d like to cover one of their songs for my new album,” Giselle gives me a thin smile, and I feel like I’ve done something wrong, even though I’m assured by Brian that her public persona “is just like that sometimes”.

“- and I thought it was a joke! I said ‘yeah, sure, what’s the worst that could happen’.” Mercury laughs, leaning forward elbows on his knees and eyes shinning with amusement. “I did not believe for one second that Giselle, Giselle-” repeating her name for emphasis, his hand comes to quickly rest on hers where she still has them perfectly still on her knee, a moment of solidarity, “wanted anything to do with us. Hand Held Heart had been at the top of the US charts for almost three whole weeks the year before.” Letting out a long, wistful sigh, Mercury sits back, still grinning, though he’s got this far away look on his face now.

“So we’d been stuck on a farm, recording A Night At The Opera for weeks with no outside communications, ” May fills in where Mercury’s faded into his own memories, and Taylor slings arm around Giselle where she’s actually relaxed somewhat, hands now in her lap. Curiously, she doesn’t shrug him off. “And when we get back, it turns out that she’s put a jazz cover of Jesus, yeah, that song from our first album, on the B-Side of her newest single.”

“Freddie practically had a heart attack.” Deacon adds, patting Mercury’s shoulder fondly.

In her own way, she was continuing the trend that Dinner and a Show had started, and that seven-inch single would bestow upon Giselle the title of Queen of Jazz Rock. It hadn’t been the first time she had acknowledged the band publicly, by the time she had released the single, her public persona had gained enough traction that, a few months prior to her recording of the cover, a reporter had asked if Killer Queen, Queen’s biggest hit at the time, had been written about her. The question had been caught on camera by the reporter after one of her tour stops in the Midwest of America; the footage is a favourite of fans, including myself, of the way she doesn’t even turn, simply calls over her shoulder, ‘they should be so lucky’, and she gets into her waiting car.

“I never took offence,” Mercury tells me, both in 1982, and 1985, as I bring it up both times to consolidate the origins of their musical partnership.

“You wouldn’t, you were all starry-eyed for her back then.” Taylor leans back to address Mercury behind Giselle’s head, but only when he says it the first time, in 1982.

“It was a bit of a dig at us,” Deacon agrees with the drummer, nodding before shrugging. “A lot of good came out of it, though.” The others seem to agree, but Giselle herself has stayed quiet. For the first time since the interview started, she looks away from me, gaze dipping as she seems inclined to speak, though she takes her time to weigh up her words before she says them, wondering exactly what will and will not be printed.

“It was a bit of s**t thing to say. I was twenty-four and I panicked, I had to keep up my... this persona.” She gestures now to herself, breaking the entire physicality as she lets herself lean back, and I feel like I can breathe, seeing her act so human. Adjusting, she lets herself rest of the slightest of diagonals, shoulder to shoulder with Taylor’s arm still around her, now with Mercury petting her knee in solidarity.

Once in the tour bus, the difference between Giselle Jones, the woman, and Giselle, the singer and personality, becomes almost jarring to see. As soon as we get into the bus, she strips off the gown she was wearing, I turn away, though the others don’t seem to be bothered by it, May takes the dress to a waiting assistant by the door, and when I turn back, she’s in a pair of sweat pants and Taylor is tossing her shirt several sizes too big for her. For the first time since I’ve learned about her, Giselle looks comfortable, looks approachable and, for lack of a better word, non-robotic, taking a hairbrush from a drawer and flopping onto one of the beds as she brushes out the gel, apparently not bothering with a shower just yet.

“I showered this morning.” She seems to have caught my confused look, and explains herself. With her guard lowered in the familiar situation, her natural voice shines through, a rich, yet feminine alto, reminiscent of her singing voice. It adds to the list of things that add character to her beyond what her “persona” could ever convey. Or perhaps that’s the point.

The bus itself is almost too small for the five performers, and I’m certain it won’t fit me, but Giselle and I watch as they cram a blow up bed onto the kitchen table. It looks stable, and for the opportunity to experience living in such close quarters with such big names, I’d take anything.

“Sorry, darling, Paul takes the only spare bed.” Mercury informs me as I shimmy up onto the bed to test if it would hold. I had thought that the vehicle was at capacity, though it does make sense that the band’s day-to-day manager, Paul Prenter, would be travelling with them. That being said, I hadn’t realised there was even a spare bed, there was only five, perhaps none of them had wanted to be subjected to the blow up bed and decided to share instead.

When we finally get on the road, I get to finally see their true dynamics emerge. We all know the Queen dynamics by now, brotherly yet volatile, at times. I had worried for Giselle at times, the concept of living with four men (five if you count Prenter, who Giselle does not seem to, when I ask her about it, though I don’t think that’s a subject I should pry about, judging by the look on Taylor’s face where I can see him lounging at the back of the bus). However, I should have not have been worried; first of all, despite the youthfulness of their appearances, performances, and spirit, these are all men in their 30s, Giselle herself being 31 at the time of writing (1982), and they all have experience living with women, and with each other.

“First tour was a nightmare.” Deacon’s joined me on the blowup bed, is sipping tea as we travel along. “We learned real quick how disgusting close quarters can be.” He’s a quiet soul, but observant, and honestly I really enjoy his company. Anyone who can weather over a decade of rock and roll and come out as calm as him deserves some sort of recognition. “It’s much better now. Mostly.” He smiles like it’s an inside joke, but won’t elaborate. Giselle and Taylor refuse to clarify what he means by that, May just laughs when I ask him, directing me back to ask Taylor and Giselle, and Mercury calls them all gossips.

It’s something about the tour lifestyle that must bring out the childishness in them all, which comes out strongly during dinner. They shove my blowup bed into the sleeping quarters when dinner is served, and the five of us manage to cram into the tiny booth the bus allows. May, Deacon and Giselle are in charge of cooking dinner, sausages, potatoes, and peas, since apparently Prenter and Mercury have taken lunch duties, and Roger has put himself in charge of getting coffee and tea for everyone in the morning.

“We should really eat breakfast.” Giselle muses through half a mouthful of food.

“I do!” Deacon, next to me, comes back with, pouring some more peas onto his plate.

“You just eat cereal from the box, Deaky, that’s not breakfast.” Taylor counters him, which just causes the rest of the table to devolve into an argument about what counts as breakfast. Prenter, who has joined us for the meal, looks like he’d rather be napping or still driving, and makes quiet work of his meal.

Roger Taylor goes to sleep after me, and wakes up before I do, and I’m not sure how he does it. Or where he sleeps, the other beds seem taken. He wakes me up on the first morning by shoving my bed, which slides a few centimeters, but isn’t about to fall off it’s perch.

“You want coffee?” I’m barely functioning at this point, and his question baffles me. “Tea? Coffee? Deaky’s cereal? We got some left over sausages.” He lists off, probably due to my clear confusion, he seems exasperated, even though he’s definitely wearing pyjamas too. He’s still scowling a little when I tell him how I like my coffee, but he doesn’t complain, and it tastes exactly like I like it when he hands it over. The bus is stationary, so he can put the cups by the bedsides of those they are for, but interestingly enough he joins me on the table/bed.

I know the origin story of Queen, I think everyone does at this point, so I ask him instead about the subject of my article; how Queen got involved with Giselle.

“You wanna know how I met Giselle?” It’s not exactly what I asked, but he’s already thinking about it, looking past me to the sleeping quarters with a frown. He plays absent-mindedly with the chain around his neck, and with the ring attached to it. “I thought everyone knew about that, the whole thing where we hated each other from the start?” When I ask if it was true, he actually laughs, though it’s more a snort of derision, if I’m being honest. “Of course not. Mostly.” They all seem to like that word, I hadn’t taken them all to be vague.

“I told him to take a long walk off a short pier.” Giselle will clarify for me later that day, joining me as I take a smoke break at one of our bathroom stops, not that there isn’t a toilet on the bus, they just try to avoid using it as much as possible. She doesn’t smoke, claims she never has, but enjoys the company, while the boys are buying snacks at the gas station. I ask when it was, she gives me another thin smile, but not like it had been in the office. Here it’s the punctuation to an earlier joke rather than a judgement.

She tells me about how she actually met them all, recording her second album, after her 1972 performance on Top of the Pops, you know the one. It had cemented Giselle’s now iconic aesthetic of an off the shoulder, floor length sequinned gown, silk gloves, and bold red lipstick, dark hair falling victory curls, the whole look reminiscent of an old Hollywood star, though there was red glitter trailing from her lips, and on her gloves in a theatrical fabrication of blood. It had been a look inspired by her musical roots, and the theatricality of the then-popular glam rock, a movement which would inspire many of Mercury’s tour looks also.

She was twenty-one at the time, still “developing her persona”, when she found that the in-house recording equipment at EMI was being used by the then-still quite unknown Queen. Or rather, according to Giselle, just Taylor.

“He was packing up the last of his equipment, and he makes a pass at me, thinks I’m an intern.” We can see the boys leaving the gas station, Taylor himself heading the pack. “So yeah, told him to take a long walk off a short pier.” She laughs, seems to hold the memory quite dear. “That b******d has the gall to look me in the eyes and ask who I am.”

“Did he know who you were?” When I look at her, she’s still smiling, tipping her head to the side as the boys draw close. She seems to be paying attention to me, but not a lot.

“Yeah, told me later he was just pissed I didn’t throw myself at him. That’s why I said that, ‘they should be so lucky’ thing, actually, that motherf****r right there.” The way she says it, raising her finger to point at him, makes me think it’s a story she’s told before, one that he knows about.

“You talking about me?” Taylor yells, and Giselle is quick to answer that she is. “Don’t spill all my secrets.” It sounds like an order, but his smile says it’s not, it’s weirdly playful, a dynamic I didn’t expect from them, especially considering their history. I raise the point. She laughs at me.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Prenter calls for everyone on the bus, and Giselle doesn’t think to clarify once we’re back on board.

The tour, I should have mentioned earlier, is a double feature; Queen is promoting their album Hot Space, while Giselle is promoting her own, The Bend Before the Break. When I ask her about the album itself, she talks happily about a few of the songs, however when I bring up my personal favourites, Ache and Heaven Sent, she turns very quiet.

I will end up watching most of her performances, and to this day, I have never seen something as raw and spiritual as Giselle performing Ache.

The lights dim as the joyful Meant to Be finishes. On the studio recording, a double bass starts the song, long, grieving and angry notes that pick up in tempo as it’s joined by drums and a piano, and finally, her voice, low, bitter and seductive in equal measure. Here, there’s silence, as she gently croons the open lines, face illuminated by only a single gold light, as swirling red and purple lights move about the stage.

While saying you were sorry, / you burned me from the outside, in. / Now I’m calloused all over, / And too tired to feel the sting. / But I feel the ache, / feel the ache / feel the ache. / I’ll still let you back in.

She plays the piano herself for this song, a skill, I later learn Mercury had taught her many years ago. It’s a song that tugs at your gut, gets you thinking about how you keep people in your life who aren’t the best for you. She ends the last chorus with a long, mournful wail that you feel in your bones.

I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet as when she finishes Ache, the penultimate song of her set list, unless you count encores.

The final song of the night is always Heaven Sent, a bright, headbanging anthem with the musical gravitas of a full jazz band. It was her single from the album, it topped most charts. You know the one. The radio won’t stop playing it.

Divinity with a neon glow / it hung above his head, / promoting his next show. / Didn’t even try to find my light, / just the darkness he’d bestow. / Heaven sent me the Morningstar.

“I was cheated on.” Was all she will say about the songs.

The others steer clear of those songs as well, when talking about the album, as well as the titular song, The Bend Before the Break, though Giselle claims she has moved on from the feelings associated in all three songs.

“I wrote them first on the album, I’ve moved on.”

Each of the boys seems very protective of Giselle at times, though Taylor is by far the worst. If I’m being honest, was weird to me, they’d been at each other’s throats publicly and professionally for almost a full decade after Giselle’s initial comment, however the vitriol had died down in the past few years, so I enquire about that about halfway through the six week tour.

“We set them up.” May is the first to answer, sipping tea with myself, Deacon and Mercury. Since both Giselle and Taylor adjourned to the sleeping quarters. I ask him what he means.

“They tell it better.” Mercury interjects, but May argues that they’re asleep anyways so it’s not like it matters. Deacon agrees with Mercury, but quiet enough that May ignores him.

“So by ‘79, we’ve collaborated together, us and ‘Zelle, I mean,” the nickname is mostly used by May and Taylor, though Deacon uses it on occasion, “a couple of times, and we love her, right boys? We love her-” looking around, both Mercury and Deacon are nodding along, responding to a story they’d both heard before, though it was interesting for my first time hearing it, “but Rog is about ready to stab her with his drumsticks, but that’s just how he is.”

“Threatened to stab me once.” Deacon adds the unnerving information with complete serenity, focused on his cup.

“Me a couple of times.” Mercury shakes his head, as if it were some schoolboy prank rather than a stabbing threat.

“Like I said, just how he is. So we decide to send them to a place where they can bond over complaining about everything else, apart from each other.” I asked how it worked out for them and I watch as their faces fall. This terrible blind date idea must have gone horribly. “They hate the restaurant, which is good, but he goes to leave and bumps the table, spilling beer all over her dress, which is bad,” well, obviously. He pays me no mind, “and she elbows him in the face when she’s putting her jacket on - still don’t know how that one happened - but he still says he’ll take her home because it’s late, except-”

“To preface,” Deacon jumps in here, adding a little more milk to his tea, “she hates I’m In Love With My Car.” The song? Deacon nods. “Rog wrote it.” I can connect the dots, but I’m still confused as to how that lead to them being friends.

“Friends.” Mercury actually laughs into his cup.

“He takes her home anyways, she tells him the song’s s**t bu the sentiment wasn’t far off.” May finishes, shrugging.

“It was a real nice car.” Deacon shrugged, before looking straight at me. “And she still hates the song to this day.” There’s an air of finality to his words that is entirely unwarranted. That isn’t the point of the story; how are they friends now? Did they hook up in his car? Is that what they’re implying, I feel like such a gossip asking these questions.

“Did they ho- ? Yeah, of course.” May laughs, and though it clears some things up, I’m still rather confused. It’s probably reading on my face, because it looks like something else is dawning on him. “You know they’re married, right?”

No. No I did not know. Now I feel like an idiot.

I wonder if The Bend Before the Break is about Taylor? I can sense I’ve touched a nerve when I ask, and Mercury abruptly changes the subject, though the air still doesn’t feel right. When I head back through the sleeping area to get a new pen from my luggage, I catch a glimpse of Giselle napping in her bunk, Taylor too, asleep with his arm around her. She’s even wearing a wedding ring. I’m kicking myself for not noticing sooner. The chain with the ring around Taylor’s neck makes sense now. A lot of things make sense now.

For the next four days I feel like I’m being shunned, I’m the last to be told about dinner and have to eat the leftovers, Giselle barely says two words to me, Taylor just keeps glowering, and someone let the air out of my bed on the second night. It’s childish, but it’s in line with what I expect from them, regarding this sort of issue, I’m just glad Taylor hasn’t poured my coffee on me in my sleep, or spat in it. He just didn’t make it, which I suppose is probably the safest option for me.

The only apology I can think of is to offer to buy them all drinks, but it works well enough, and the next morning I wake to a fresh cup of coffee, and a very hungover Taylor. At least he’s dedicated to his job.

The rest of the tour passes without further incident. I still stand by Ache as one of my favourite musical performances of the decade, though I don’t mention it to Giselle, and now that I know the dynamic between her and Taylor, I can’t stop seeing it. Honestly, readers, they’re all over each other, which is expected from a man of Taylor’s reputation, but it’s still a little jarring to see the two of them so cozy. I must have been blind not to see it before.

When we part ways, Giselle is a little stiff with me.

“You brought up some feelings that I just... hadn’t actually dealt with at the time, which f******d me up.” She tells me in retrospect, sitting in my office with the rest of the boys in 1985. Live Aid was a few weeks ago, and since they all returned to the spotlight, I asked if they wanted to come and reflect on the past few years. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that Giselle still swears like a sailor.

“A lot’s happened in the past few years.” Taylor’s still very protective of her, and after everything that’s conspired, at least from what I know, it’s warranted. We talk about the band splitting, how it had hurt the band as a whole, and even Giselle, who was at the time seeing a counsellor with Taylor. I’m hesitant to broach the topic of their relationship, though they seem like a solid until now, sitting before me, holding hands and leaning against one another.

I ask if Giselle’s breakdown was due to the band splitting, though I’m hesitant if I’ll get a response. Her smile is sad, which is mirrored by the rest of the band. I can guess her response before she says it.

“No.”

You all know the moment I’m talking about, the last concert for her last album, as of this publication, Finally, Sunlight where she had receive pleas from the audience for an encore. When she came back out, part of her makeup had been smudged around her eyes, and you can hear her sniffle over the microphone. (”I’m so sorry, I lost someone close to me, I thought I could keep it together for one night.” Dabbing at her eyes, she sits at the piano and laughs, but there’s no heart in it. “But I’ve got five more minutes left in me, let’s go, Atlanta.”) The song she plays is Somebody to Love, a slow, soulful cover, and the audience is almost unanimous in their raised lighters and slow swaying. As she goes on, she just starts crying harder, missing notes, hands shaking; the extended ‘Looooord’ before the chanting becomes a desperate wail, a plea to the heavens, and she collapses onto the piano, sobbing audibly as the instruments all come to uncertain halt and lighters go down in confusion.

From the crowd, a single voice begins to chant ‘Find me somebody to love. / Find me somebody to love.’ and a single voice turns to a theatre, full to the brim, as they sing when she can’t, still crying against the piano. Lighters go up, and together the audience and the band finishes the song where words have failed her. It was televised locally on the night, and still brings me to tears when I watch it now.

“We lost our daughter.”

For those of you reading this who are shocked, I am too. Sitting there like a fool, not saying anything.

“I was on tour, and Rog was at home with her,” even now, Giselle is getting a little teary-eyed, not that I blame her. Both Taylor and Mercury have an arm around her, and May has a hand on her shoulder, Deacon sitting on the back of the sofa right behind her. A unit. A family. “I wanted to go home, she was getting really sick, and I know he was doing everything he could, but I just- I wanted to be there... but my label threatened to sue me for... millions.” It sounds like it’s hard to say, and she’s wiping a tear from her eyes. I offer her the tissues on my desk. “But I should have gone home. I should have been there by her side, I should have done more.” Taylor whispers something to her and she leans against him, taking comfort in him.

“I had to call her, tell her that... that she’d passed. The day of the show. She’d been so upset for week, ‘Zelle that is, and everything just-” Taylor manages to get a great handle on his emotions, despite his misty eyes and shaking hands. “We’re alright now though, see? Nothing can tear us apart.” Though his voice does drop, so I think he’s saying it more for Giselle’s benefit. I give them all time to collect themselves, stop to get hot drinks for everyone, and everyone finally seems happy enough to answer when I ask what’s next for them.

“Music, of course.” Mercury says, now holding what was Giselle’s free hand. The rest of the gathered musicians agree. I ask if we’ll be hearing any sort of collaboration between Queen and the Queen of Jazz Rock. Taylor snickers, pulling Giselle close.

“Yeah, but not in the way you mean.” He ignores the rest of the men’s shouts of disgust, as well as his wife’s own gagging noise, which I can see on her face she regrets as she covers her mouth with caution, before giving the okay.

“No, we’re okay, we’re good.” She assures everyone, before looking at me. “What he meant to say is that I’m pregnant.” She clarifies. Taylor is still grinning.

“Don’t be gross, Rog.” May calls from the other side of the sofa, and Taylor has the gall to look accosted.

“What’s next for me, after everything that’s happened, is family.” Giselle says over the sounds of her husband’s indignant huffs, though his expression turns soft at her words, and they ignore the ‘boo’s of everyone else as they kiss.

“Could you be less gross around company?” Deacon asks, still mild-mannered as ever. This seems to be the cue for the interview to end, as Taylor of Giselle-

“It’s Giselle Taylor, by the way, I’m sorry I hadn’t corrected you earlier.” She corrects me now, as [Roger] Taylor leads her out of the door. The rest of the band seem mildly exasperated at their antics, but still ready to answer my questions. After everything that’s happened, I’m a little overwhelmed, I’m not sure where to go from here.

Perhaps my next article will be on Live Aid.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #queen #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #queen imagine #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #the angry lizard writes #bohemian rhapsody imagine

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killinbills · 5 years

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hi! i’m currently struggling with the summary for my fic like i don’t want to make it boring with barley anything but i also don’t wanna i reveal everything (did that even make sense¿) any advice?

(this was sent weeks ago and im so sorry it took me so long to respond!!)

right ok so, when i write a summary, in the first summary i make sure to introduce the main character especially. (im gonna use clueless, morningstar, and ruby ruby as an example) (the only reason im using a few is bc i want to show that there are lots of different ways of writing a summary, it really depends on the story)

this is super long so read under the cut xo

CLUELESS: OK, SO, BRIAR CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH — she did not mean to act out the second she stepped foot in Beauxbatons, her grandparents deciding that Hogwarts (for ‘reasons unknown’) was no longer good enough for her and her little brother. She did not mean to find out that her grandparents had forced her and her brother out of the country to avoid them from meeting their father, who had become the newest D.A.D.A. professor… Nor did she mean to get so angry by this that she, well, gave her best friends a run for their money. Fireworks lighting up the dining hall, statues transfigured to resemble David Bowie — everything she remembered her best friends talking about doing, she did, putting her own twist on it (hence David Bowie… and Freddie Mercury… and ABBA…)

MORNINGSTAR: HERE’S THE DEAL — Isabelle Oswald is, sort-of, a changeling. The daughter of the devil given to a human man, a rich lawyer in the Upper East Side, who couldn’t have another kid. Her best friend Riley says that it isn’t really a changeling, more like a demon, but anyway. All Isabelle knows is that she’s pretty much a vampire, swap the blood-sucking for a general need to feed off of energy. And she supposes that’s where her 'birth name’ came from, Moroi Morningstar, but again, whatever. The main issue on the table isn’t so much Isabelle’s weird, but rather, Isabelle doesn’t have to be evil, so she isn’t going to — like, sure, her birth father was a fallen angel, but that doesn’t mean she is. It’s the same as those creeps that are half-angel. (The only saint she needs is Laurent, thanks!)

RUBY, RUBY: RUBY SULLIVAN likes to do the right thing — and she knows this sounds like bullshit, what with associating herself with Carol and Tommy, but for some reason her best friend Steve likes them and that’s enough for her to stomach them. But she likes to do good. Her dad always says stuff about karma and Ruby hopes that if she’s good to the world, the world will be good back… And by “good back,” she means that she’ll get into a good college, or at least find a way to escape Hawkins… And maybe, along the way, Ruby will be able to finally stand up for herself…

so in the first paragraph, i’ve introduced the main character and the situation that they’re in. it’s not so much the actual plot, but like, it’s some background on the character and what’s going on, and also it gives the readers an idea of where the story’s going to start. also, if when you’re writing about what’s going on with your character, if you can find the opportunity to mention other details

“the newest D.A.D.A. professor” = remus is briar’s dad, and “her best friends a run for their money” = if you’re a fan of hp you can gather she’s friends with the twins

“she’s pretty much a vampire” then the specifics introduce isabelle’s powers, and the description about her dad and her origin also explain what’s going on. also, you’re introduced to her best friend riley, and although she’s introduced anyway in the actual story and you don’t need to introduce every single character, riley is important and by having her in the intro puts some emphasis on that

“likes to do the right thing” so ok you know ruby’s motivation already, but also the fact that she’s friends with carol, tommy, and steve. with “escape hawkins” and “stand up for herself,” you can also gather that in this story, you’re gonna have a character that wants to leave her hometown and wants to stand up for themselves (a lot of this does focus more on my next point tho)

then, this is optional, but if possible, you can introduce the character’s personality and, uh, character. obviously this depends on your writing style and whether or not when you’re writing the summary you can add it in without it sound strange, but if possible, introduce the readers to your character. (it’s not like u want them to read a whole story about them)

examples:

from clueless you can gather that briar’s rebellious but also what music she likes. tbh this summary doesn’t show this point as much as the others but that’s okay!! sometimes one summary will have lots of background or introducing the character’s personality and sometimes it won’t!! it depends on the story you’re writing!!

for izzy however, you can get her personality. the informal language (”kid,” “blood-sucking,” “those creeps”) kinda give the sense that izzy’s the opposite of serious, and again that sort of language in a way shows izzy’s age a little? also, the same goes with the “but whatever,” and “but anyway.” like izzy as a character is quite carefree and bubbly. and then, with “the only saint she needs is laurent, thanks!” introduces a couple of things: izzy makes remarks, izzy is rich (bc she’s mentioning a luxury brand like it’s a brand she’s accustomed to), and izzy can be materialistic. like. the only saint she needs is laurent. she’s what madonna was singing about in material girl likeee

with ruby it’s a lot more obivous, and also a lot more stressed? so like in the intro to ruby ruby it shows: ruby wants to do the right thing (so her morals), ruby’s an optimistic character (”she hopes”), and she wants to stand up for herself. because with ruby ruby, the full introduction introduces all of the sullivans, the paragraph for each character was sort of more “yo this is this one” and much less of “this is the full story.” for ruby ruby, the full story’s introduced a lot more in the final paragraph

normally when i write a introduction i stick to two paragraphs and then maybe one sentence right at the end, which often becomes the short summary for the full thing. so in the second paragraph, i introduce the plot. not all of it, but enough to get a reader interested.

CLUELESS: But things take a turn at the end of the school year, when Madame Maxime pulls her aside and informs her of the Triwizard Tournament, a game where Beauxbatons competes against Durmstrang Institute and Hogwarts. And, in the words of Madame Maxime herself — “the school will burn down if I leave you here, so, you are coming, too.”

Fair enough.

MORNINGSTAR: The thing is, though — Isabelle doesn’t want to become a superhero. There are lots of other ways to improve the world, and if anything, she wishes she could keep her powers as hidden as possible. But, when things start to go upside down, it becomes a lot less difficult to stay secret. More and more monsters begin cropping up in her side of the woods, girls from her high school are disappearing left, right, and centre, with the explanation of “We want Morningstar” — and to top it off, her heart skips a beat every time she runs into the kid called Spiderman, even though they’ve managed to be on opposite ends of the civil war between the Avengers…

Life’s hard when you’re the devil’s daughter.

RUBY, RUBY: So when Will Byers goes missing, both Ruby and Lisa are thrown into the deep end. Whilst Ruby’s helping his older brother Jonathan, Lisa’s forced to speak to her own friends again, upon noticing the weird girl that she and Ruby helped escape from the restaurant earlier that week. And now, both girls are living up to their parents’ life lesson of “the most important thing is being good,” even if it means they’re hurtling towards the life their parents escaped from all those years ago…

normally it starts with, “so when this happens,” and it won’t introduce all of the plot, but it’ll introduce part of it.

like, with clueless, in the intro you learn that briar’s going back to hogwarts. you don’t know she becomes a werewolf, you don’t know that she starts to have doubts about preferring hogwarts to beauxbatons, a lot of the plot is unknown, but there’s still enough for a reader to like the sounds of it, and keep on reading.

same with morningstar. it carries on the explaining from the first paragraph but then, you find out that monsters are appearing (but not which ones) and that girls are going missing because someone wants isabelle, but you don’t know why. the stuff’s introduced, in enough detail for a reader to be interested, and then i introduced the love interest. like your readers don’t need to know every single detail off the bat, just enough to be interested

then with ruby ruby. ruby and her little sister are going to be involved with the main story in stranger things. you know who they’ll be hanging out with, but you don’t really know why, nor do you know the rest of the details. at the end i mentioned that their parents were connected with the upside down at one point, but you don’t know what they actually did. just that they were involved. it’s just enough for the reader to be like, “oh shit” and want to read the actual chapters

so, in summary:

introduce your character (because it’s that kid that’s gonna attract readers at the end of the day)

introduce the plot but not in much detail. just enough for readers to be intrigued

make sure the intro reflects upon the story like,,,, don’t give me a fun introduction when the actual story is sad and serious u know

i know it’s super difficult to actually write a summary but i try to keep things in mind when i’m writing mine. like i always want to make sure that the introduction properly reflects upon the story and the character. and again, a lot of the stuff i talked about i don’t make sure to include, it’s more like, i’ll be conscious of the words i’m using when i’m writing it. also a lot of my intros are pretty informal but that’s because my narrative style’s definitely influenced by reading too much meg cabot and lisi harrison when i was little lmao

also!! when you’re writing a summary don’t be afraid to have a look at others. like don’t copy them but look at how different people have written them. like even with three of mine, there’s some variety. there’s no harm in reading others to get a feel of what to write yourself

hope this helps!! :-)

ask me questions!!

also: clueless, morningstar, ruby ruby

#asks #bioodflood #writing help

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redwoodrroad · 5 years

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1, 6, 11, 29, and 46 for Eridunis!

:D wow thank you!!!! sorry it took so long to respond, but here’s another picture of Eridunis:

Also I’m putting it all under a cut because it’s a long response adhfaslkfjh i talk so much in these LOL

1. What does your character’s name mean?

i am….. a gigantic astronomy nerd; I love space, i love learning about stars, and i have a fondness for named constellations / asterisms. Originally, I fell in love with the name “Eridanus”: In that pretty famous Greek Mythos that pretty much everyone knows (another one of my obsessions), Phaethon begged his father, Helios (God of the Sun who rode a chariot every morning across the sky that would pull the sun into its place), to drive the chariot one morning. Helios allowed it, but Phaethon wasn’t able to fully control the chariot, and the horses went wild; Zeus eventually struck it down, and Phaethon with the chariot fell into the river–the river Eridanus. Here’s a hot pic of the constellation marking this event, right next to my FAVORITE constellation:

The son of the sun god, in his tragic tale, being felled by overconfidence, oversimplifying a massive task, and a much more powerful force to be deeply respected. Really sounds familiar now HUH i REALLY called that one three years aGO

Of course, as soon as I tried typing in “Eridanus” into the character creator, I found out it was already taken SO i retyped “Eridunis” as just a small alteration, and it worked! Also, unlike Eridanus (which I pronounce as “er-i-DA-nus”), I pronounce Eridunis as “er-I-du-nis” which the emphasis on the I if that makes sense. I know that was a long explanation, i’ll try to keep the others shorter, but I LOVE explaining how i got his name, and even then there’s more to it with Arkus next to him.

6. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

UH hm since he’s always traveling, it’s tough to do his usual hobby, which is gardening (especially in the desert), but he’s also a weaponsmith and a jeweler, so I think he takes that with him. He tries crafting items late at night, as like a distraction or a stress reliever, and Arkus has to frustratingly drag him to bed at 1am.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

Anything someone else would say that would disrespect Arkus or his authority / integrity / expertise. He’s heard a lot of people, over the years, talk smack about Arkus–mostly because a lot of people don’t really know what Arkus does for the Pact and don’t know how he’s involved with Eridunis–and Eridunis has either overheard or been told about people saying things like, “he’s the Commander’s hype man, and that’s it,” “he’s just here to look pretty,” or if they do know what Arkus does, they might be like, “the Priory obviously doesn’t need him there, so he bums around here,” you know, things like that. Eridunis loses it when he hears things like that or even hears about them–he doesn’t even do diplomacy for these situations either, no “look, you need to respect Arkus because he’s with me; if you respect me, you need to respect him” shit, it’s just curses and punches at that point, immediately. When Trahearne was around, he had to break up a lot of these sorts of fights rip

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

I don’t think there’s ever like a pinnacle moment where they’re like separated because Arkus has been taken or something, like no life-threatening thing has ever made Eridunis sacrifice himself for Arkus; however, there was like a…. social-political kerfuffle… Arkus is a Magister for the Priory, but he always wanted to rise to Archon status. Sometime around 1326-ish, like I wanna say around living world season 1, Arkus presented his research and submitted himself for Archon consideration, and when he sat through the ceremony (in which I feel like only one Magister might be named; it’s probably like a yearly thing so it’s incredibly competitive and hard to obtain), surprise, surprise: Someone else gets it over him.

Eridunis is also there, supporting Arkus, and after the reveal, he encourages Arkus to ask Gixx for some clarification, and Gixx sort of vaguely tells him that he hasn’t done much beyond dragon research (which is for the Pact, Gixx argues, NOT for the Priory), he’s always away with the Commander, but he avoids the fact that the research Arkus did submit 1) wasn’t dragon research, and 2) was incredibly thorough in its own way and had nothing to do with the Pact at all, and Arkus felt like Gixx was just hiding something.

To make a long story short (too late), Eridunis takes it upon himself (sort of at Arkus’s warning and behest; he didn’t want either of them to get in trouble) to sniff out a conspiracy and unveil that Gixx was no longer examining submissions for Archon consideration; he had silently given that task to someone else at the Priory. To make matters worse, that person had biases against several Magisters and Archons–and they had a particular bias against Arkus because of his race and his connection to the Pact. The reason I bring this up for this purpose is that the Durmand Priory is a huge organization, and Gixx is incredibly influential. Even if he lost his status from a slip-up like this–ESPECIALLY consider that it was during this time where the Aetherblades were infiltrating organizations and garnering power, imagine the damage that could have done under Gixx’s complacency–he still pulls the strings on a lot of smaller groups affiliated with the Priory. Not only that, but the Pact could risk losing the Priory as a subsidiary group–all because the Commander took the personal issue of Arkus’s “failure” and made it bigger, and public. Eridunis risked his job, his authority, he could have made the Pact suffer a huge loss in manpower, and he knew he was risking it–because Arkus warned him it could happen like that. But he did it anyway because the relief Arkus felt in recognizing that his research was enough–he was enough–for receiving that title made it all completely worth it to Eridunis. and that was a really long explanation for something that isn’t even like, traditionally-heroic, but adfakadfh i think it fits

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

Later in the story, Arkus and Eridunis start doing a little bit more PDA (nothing beyond hand holding; they’re really private people), and I think Eridunis starts putting his hand on Arkus’s back. Just anywhere, but particularly in the upper-middle part of his back, and he just runs his fingers along his spine over the cloth. And if Arkus is wearing the Elonian Elementalist outfit (which he wears in the hottest parts of the desert), Eridunis lets his fingers sit down on the small of Arkus’s back, and he’ll do the same thing–or if he thinks no one is looking, he’ll put his whole hand flush to Arkus’s back and drift it up under the cloth to casually hold him for a sec. very cute ;u;

im SO SORRY this is so long but i hope you enjoyed reading all of it, i had a lot of fun writing it all out; thank you again so much for asking!!!

#preussenlieds #redwoods words #eridunis tag #gw2 #youre so sweet for asking so much ;u; thank you again

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cs-discourse · 6 years

Text

here we go

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179953845684/uuuuwuu-every1-whos-concerned-abt-biased-judging

ok this attitude has been pissing me off long enough that it's time for one of my Big Ole Posts (tm) about how shitty this is! thanks.

uuuuwuu every1 whos concerned abt biased judging in comps is just soooow entitled !!!1 i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11 bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 also my last braincell just died pleas h

so here's the og post in question for quick reference

i honestly have no idea why people keep bringing up this idea of bias in judging competitions because, while i do think there is a type of bias that certainly exists, i think a lot of so-called "bias" that people have is ... not whatsoever like what people think it is lol. artists are people and there's always going to be SOME kind of bias no matter what you do, because it's literally fuckin impossible to NOT be biased. by that i mean:

your taste in plots/types of characters/medias influence your judging

quality of writing or art can influence your judging

the person who's applying for the adopt you may have previous judgement about

even if you say you aren't biased, you STILL have preferences and tastes in things that you prefer more than others, which in of itself is a kind of bias

people who know you (friends for example) will naturally know what your taste is.

a competition is judged based on what form the artist thinks is best, right?

NEWSFLASH EVERYONE'S IDEA OF "WHAT'S BEST" IS DIFFERENT FROM PERSON TO PERSON ..... "BEST" is literally the most subjective thing there is, and while i agree that there are certain aspects of art and writing that you can use as objective measurements of tangible skill, it's... still subjective. what people think is "best" will vary from person to person because we all have different tastes. so, essentially, this boils down to the idea that the winner of an adopt competition will ALWAYS be the form the artist liked best, because that is what the artist perceives as best. so like. when people appear biased in adopt competitions towards friends or certain circles, it's probably because they're literally friends because they have similar tastes in things, and therefore the form the artist likes best is naturally going to be from someone who shares similar tastes.

so whenever i hear about """bias""" in competitions i just kind of roll my eyes tbqh because it's usually followed by complaints of "BUT I PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT" or "I WROTE SO MUCH MORE THAN THE WINNER" uhhhh. if adopt contests were won by effort alone it wouldn't be a contest, it'd be an endurance test lol. literally just "who has the most time to waste writing out 60000k words of absolute meaningless fluff"... because, i hate to break it to you, but ANYONE can write 5000 words of mindless drivel that has literally no substance to it.

now in caps for emphasis. takes a deep breath

THERE IS NO SKILL NEEDED TO BLOAT YOUR WORD COUNT.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE WELL TO WRITE 5000 WORDS.

YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TYPE AND PUT SENTENCES TOGETHER.

quality > quantity, always. like, i'm sorry you put in so many hours of effort but, those people who win with MUCH smaller wordcounts... did they not work to get as good as they did with writing? you put in 5 hours into one tryout. but others, take me for example: i have been writing for over 10 bloody years. i've worked hard to improve my writing, so you can't tell me i "didn't put in as much effort" as you because i did. i put in YEARS of work to get better so doing simple things would take me LESS time now. inb4 IT'S UNFAIR! dude, the literal definition of a contest is for the best to win. it wouldn't be a contest if it wasn't like that lol. it'd just be charity. what you should be doing instead of complaining about it is ASKING FOR CRIT and WORKING TO IMPROVE like a good sport? i get that it's discouraging but you should be prepared to lose when you join a contest. it's valid to be upset about but the moment you say you deserve it more than others JUST because of your effort, then i have a problem.

and you know, there's gonna be times where i think a comp winner is objectively less skilled than other tryouts. honestly i just kind of shrug that off on account of different taste lol. sometimes that's just how it be, bc of those predetermined biases i mentioned before, and maybe a judge and i are just in completely stages of life so what i call quality might not appeal to the judge. that's also fine. anyway this really got off on a tangent but i'm leaving it in bc i think it needs saying. back to the og post

> i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11

wtf didn't i address this in a different post

here let me link it for you

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179841459154/post179838988303-the-difference-is-that-you-have

which was replying to this: https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179838988303/179837734509-idk-anon-i-kinda-agree-with-the

i said it once but i'll say it again: artist entries aren't main adopts lol. people don't work for artist entries. all you fucking do is post on one like "can i have this pls" .. there is... no effort put into that lol. main adopts you WORK for. it's a CONTEST. claiming an artist entry is NOT a contest. if a bunch of little nasty gremlins come running up to me like a hungry horde trying to be the first one to claim my design, i think giving friends first pick is COMPLETELY FINE, BECAUSE WHAT DID ANYONE ELSE DO TO "DESERVE" THAT DESIGN? nothing. you did. nothing. you're literally coming here with this attitude that NOT GIVING THINGS AWAY TO STRANGERS FOR FREE SOMEHOW EQUALS BIAS? i literally do not understand your logic whatsoever. like. i'm trying really fucking hard. at least with main adopts the "payment" is the effort you put in trying to answer the artist's prompt. i know i sound super dumb repeating myself but i don't know how much simpler i can make this concept tbh

and this is EXACTLY why i say ya'll are fucking entitled because merc and any of the kal artists could be making REAL $$$$ selling their own designs and adoptables and art and NOT deal with all the bs ya'll throw at them. they're literally here because the ENJOY MAKING ((( FREE ))) CONTENT for you, and they're not obligated to do this. they can stop whenever they want. if you had to pay per hour for the length of time collectively worked by ANY species artist staff, the lot of you would be fucking broke. i'm actually constantly shocked that species artists work like, 8 hours or more on some of these gorgeous designs just to give them away for free in a contest.

so, yeah, as someone who hasn't spent my entire life on CS (i've only been here for a year and a half), ya'll seem pretty fucking entitled to me lol. the world outside CS rarely gives out such gorgeous designs in write-to-adopt contests so i'm honestly baffled at the amount of bloody entitlement i see

>bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1

this part i don't actually understand what you mean. do you mean they... help judge other comps? or like, enter them? i don't get what you mean by "weigh in" but listen, lol. just because something DOES happen doesn't mean it gives you a good reason to assume the worst. i mean... of course it happens. it's statistically impossible for skewed contests and bias to NOT happen, because there's always going to be cases of it happening. but like, what proof do you have that merc will be biased lol? like, real proof? because your main point i've basically debunked and don't believe in at all. do better than "i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11" because this doesn't make any sense to me for the reasons i already listed above lmao. if artist entries were supposed to be contests they'd be contests. what the hell makes you important enough to get first dibs on a stranger's work. ARTIST ENTRIES AREN'T EVEN MADE TO BE GIVEN AWAY, THEY'RE MADE AS ARTIST ENTRIES.... LIKE.... JESUS i struggle to understand ya'll

anyway im done here, if you wanna actually talk and debate this hmu on discord at lysander#9229 bc if you actually talk to me instead of spew this hot mess on the blog i might actually listen to you and change my mind and be nice about it instead of being a condescending bitch.

wait one more thing

>also my last braincell just died pleas h

yea clearly

p.s., why do you ppl keep going to the blog to give critique on merc's designs when on literally every other design merc makes there's this:

https://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=3950980

here i even linked it for you. idk why it's so hard for yall to give constructive crit like decent human beings

#cs discourse #submission

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horansqueen · 6 years

Text

A.M. Conversations : chapter 3

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -this may look like a love triangle but ill do my best not to turn it into one. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -read it on 1dff HERE (if you review ily so much) -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST. -please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2

Chapter 3 : Her chapter

Olivia

I moved on the couch slightly, trying to focus on the movie but in all honesty, all I could think about was Harry's text message. The truth was, I had no idea what I was going to answer him. I wanted to see him, it's true, but spending time with Niall was my priority. I glanced at him but he was too absorbed by the movie to notice it. Slowly, I moved closer to cuddle him and he brought his arm that was laying on the couch to wrap around my shoulders. It was out of habit, I knew it, but I enjoyed it anyway.

I pressed the side of my face on his shoulder and closed my eyes for a few seconds. I had no idea how he could smell so good all the time but I was not going to complain. I moved my legs slightly over his thigh under the blanket and this time, it caught his attention.

"You've never heard of personal space, did you?"

I chuckled and tried to press myself even more against him just to annoy him. He groaned and it made me laugh before to grab his face and crush my lips on his cheek grossly. He playfully pushed me away and wiped his cheek, making me laugh even more.

"I'm part of your personal space, Horan!"

He turned his face my way and raised his eyebrows as he stared at me.

"Oh yea?"

"Oh yea!"

I looked at him daringly and we remained motionless for a few seconds before he literally jumped on me. I fell on my back on the couch as he moved over me, holding my wrists with his hands to keep me from moving.

"Let me invade your personal space then!"

I let out a scream as i tried to get out of his grip, seeing his face getting closer. He stuck his tongue out and i started squirming harder beneath him, knowing exactly what he had in mind.

"Not the tongue, no!" I let out loud enough. "Please Niall!"

My pleas didn't stop him and he finally reached my face, sliding his tongue all over my cheek. He started laughing when I screamed again, wiggling even more before letting me go. I quickly wiped my face the way he had a few minutes ago and slapped his arm gently.

"You are disgusting!"

He laughed more and shook his head, moving away from me to let me sit back up. Without any shame, I got closer to him again to cuddle him. He didn't complain and I pressed my nose on his neck, once again enjoying his soap scented skin. I hated it as much as I liked it. Sometimes, to be close to him was torture, but it's as if I actually loved hurting.

My phone went off again, probably to pull me out of my agony, and I heard Niall sigh low next to me. I grabbed my phone and saw an instagram notification.

"Harry Styles has tagged you in a picture?"

I turned to look at my best friend's annoyed face, staring at my phone, but quickly moved my attention back to my screen, clicking on the link. The picture was actually Harry and I on the tour bus, engaged in a pillow fight. I heard Niall scoff and quickly liked the picture before opening my text messages.

‘When are you free this week?’

I hit send but when I turned back to my best friend, he was frowning.

"This week? Already?" he said a bit harshly. "You saw him two days ago."

I kept looking at him for a few seconds until he raised his eyebrows at me, expecting an answer. The truth was, I wanted to spend all my time with Niall, but I also wanted to see what could happen with Harry. I cleared my throat and shrugged, slowly putting my phone away before moving on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Yea I mean, we get along good."

I tried to be nonchalant about it but I was anything but calm. I didn't know if it was Niall's reaction that made me nervous or the thought of hanging out with Harry but I tried to avoid my best friend's eyes as much as I could.

"Liv, listen to me." My heart skipped a beat but i breathed in and turned to dive my eyes in his. "I'm scared you're gonna get hurt."

His words seemed genuine but they hurt more than I wanted to admit. Was it because he thought I was not interesting enough to get Harry to like me or because I sort of wish the real reason he didn't want me to hang out with Harry was out of jealousy? Or maybe a bit of both...

"Why? Because I'm not pretty enough to hold Harry's attention? I'm not a model? Or a famous singer?"

I didn't even try to make it sound like I was joking. I was upset and hurt and with the look I was sending him, he definitely knew it.

"No!" he let out with a frown. "That's definitely not what I meant!"

I sighed loud and closed my eyes, letting myself lean on the couch. I knew I was the one thinking my own words and doubting myself, but it felt good to know my own best friend didn't think the same.

"It's just... I know Harry, you know?"

I couldn't fight against this argument, I clearly didn't know Harry as well as he did and obviously not in the same context. Still, I saw Harry as a genuine person and I didn't want to see him as anything else but good. I nod slightly and look down before shrugging slightly. I knew I shouldn't keep my hopes up but I did it despite myself.

"I know he's probably just nice to me because he's a nice person, not because he likes me." I shut my eyes tight, trying to keep my feelings inside. "I mean, he can have anyone right? So there's no reason to want an average nobody like me!"

I scoffed and shook my head, rubbing my eyes roughly and moving slightly away from him. It seemed like the truth behind my own words had just hit me.

"Liv, please, that's not what I said." Niall argued again with a sigh. "But Harry is the kind of person who makes everyone feel special."

I didn't give him time to add anything and just got up, pulling on my shirt and avoiding his eyes, although i knew he was desperately trying to get my attention.

"I need a shower." I just said, walking to the stairs.

I heard him sigh but he followed me upstairs and when i was about to get in the bathroom, he put both his hands on my shoulders and bifurcated in an other direction. I followed him despite myself, trying not to trip, as he walked in the room. He stopped in front of a large mirror and stood behind me. I glanced at his reflection, diving my eyes into his for a second before to close my eyes.

"What now, Niall."

"Open your eyes." he ordered before his voice got softer. "Please."

With a sigh, i finally did what he asked and stared at myself. My hair was a mess an d i suddenly felt very conscious about my thighs and hips since I was only wearing a t-shirt.

"Do you see what I see?"

I grimaced and groaned low.

"I hope you don't see what I see, because what I see is not a good sight."

His hands slipped gently from my shoulders to my arms and he moved closer, so close I could feel the warmth of his body against mine. His fingertips running on my skin made me shiver but I tried to suppress it, slightly scared he'd notice it.

"You don't even think you're pretty?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I scoffed again and rolled my eyes. Has he just met me? His hands moved to my waist, barely touching me, but for some strange reason, i was well aware of them being so close to my body.

"Niall, you know i'm quite average." I mentioned, looking at him in the mirror this time. "I'm okay with that I guess, I just hate looking at myself half-naked in a mirror."

At my words, he gripped the sides of my shirt with both his hands and i held my breath. His eyes met mine in the reflection and we stared at each other way too long as his fists pressed against my waist, pulling on the fabric of my shirt and molding my chest slightly more. It bothered me to see myself like that but i liked the closeness of his body way too much to say anything.

"You're beautiful, Liv."

I swallowed hard at his words, trying to hold back the tears inside. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry because of his words, or because I clearly couldn't see it, or even maybe because I thought he was lying, but it didn't matter. My feelings were all over the place and I could barely recognize myself anymore.

I felt his fingers loosen the grip on my shirt and brush against me again and I had to swallow again, but for a different reason this time. As much as I liked joking with Niall about not wanting to kiss him, or being grossed out by the thought of touching his genitals, I knew I was lying to myself. A big, fat and horrible lie that made me survive through so many years of simple but deep friendship. A lie that I had such a hard time to keep running and believing in. That was why I needed to see Harry and find out if he was interested or just being nice, because being around Niall was harder every day, and that's something that was just hitting me at this exact moment, now that he was staring seriously and fondly at me, his body close to mine. Those months we spent together on tour had brought us even closer, even if i didn't think it was possible and everything I didn't have with him was not even more obvious.

"Do you really think so?"

I kept my voice low, almost inaudible, because I knew talking louder would betray me, I knew my voice would break. His face became even more serious and he finally nodded.

"Yes, I really think so." he pointed out firmly. "You're beautiful."

The fact that he repeated it put emphasis on his words and once again I had to swallow. This time, it was a lump stuck in my throat. I felt his fingers slip on my sides, touching my hips lightly and I could sweat I saw him shiver. It made my eyes open wider but I tried to get back to my senses. I had imagined that.

"And if Harry is not an idiot, he will see it too and give you two a chance."

What about you, Horan? Are you an idiot?

Those words echoed in my head but i didn't have the guts to let them out. Just thinking about how things would change between us made my heart ache. No, I didn't love Niall, not this way. I liked Harry. I had feelings for Harry Styles and that was it.

I cleared my throat and sent a smile to his reflection, mouthing a 'thank you'. He smiled back and slapped my ass, making me jump and let out a short scream.

"Come on, we have a movie to watch!"

"Hey, that hurt, Horan!" I let out, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

It made him laugh, throwing his head back and I ran after him, jumping on his back. He lost his balance but managed to make us fall on the bed. We laughed more as I rolled away from him, against the pillow. That was it, the serious but slightly awkward moment was over but it made me realize that we had more and more of these and I wasn't sure how I felt about them.

We heard his phone ring and we both got up with a sigh, pulling on out shirts. I followed him downstairs and he checked his text messages, his facial expression suddenly changing, but i couldn't decipher what it meant and it bothered me.

"Who was that?"

Niall glanced at me and shrugged but the way he avoided my eyes was bothering me.

"You remember Heidi?"

If I remembered Heidi? Long dark hair, even longer legs and an evil smile? I can never forget about her. She loved no one else more than herself, which in itself, is not a bad thing, but she also thought everyone else should love her the most, which made her the most annoying person I had ever met.

"Yea, what about her?"

He shrugged again, still not meeting my eyes. That was bad, that was very very bad.

"She's around town, she wants us to meet."

I swallowed to push down the lump in my throat but it didn't work, it was still there. In Niall's world, "to meet" meant "to fuck" and i felt my heart twist in my chest.

You're beautiful Liv, but in a few hours im gonna bury my dick deep in an other girl's pussy because all you are to me is a friend.

I shook my head at this thought and rolled my eyes. I never liked her but at this exact moment, It's a feeling of hatred that was running inside me. I tried not to let it show and shrugged like him.

"Are you gonna see her?"

It took him a few seconds to answer me and I watched him type quickly on his phone, feeling my heart twist in my chest.

"Mm?" he started before to look up in my eyes. "Oh, yea, we're gonna go to a bar tonight. Wanna come with?"

I was surprised he was inviting me but in the end, I knew he was gonna end up spending the night with her and that thought made me want to throw up. I managed to pretend I didn't care and shrugged again but before I could answer anything, he kept talking.

"You should invite Harry, too."

A few minutes ago, he was telling me Harry was gonna hurt me and now, he was proposing us to hang out. I was a bit confused by his behavior but I just let out a sigh that he didn't notice.

"Alright, i'll text him."

I was glad Harry had agreed to come with us because being around Heidi and Niall was seriously painful. Watching them interact made my heart twist, shake and shatter in my chest, over and over again. She laughed too loud at anything remotely funny he said and took advantage of every chance she had to touch him. I saw her flirting with him and it made me realize that I had no idea how to flirt. I literally sucked at it.

Harry came back with a drink for me and I tilted my head, sending him a smile. I was grateful he was there to make me smile. The table was not big but Niall and Heidi acted like we weren't there and it made me wonder why Niall invited me in first place.

"Are they always like that?"

I hadn't seen Heidi many times, just enough to be aware of my best friend's reciprocal attraction for her, and it was already too much. Harry laughed next to me, his dimple popping out, before diving his eyes into mine.

"Yea, pretty much."

I groaned and grimaced despite myself.

"Did they fuck often?"

I was not the type of person to be vague, i liked when things were clear and by then, I was pretty sure Harry was well aware of that. Still, he laughed again at my forwardness.

"I'd say.. once every other month? Maybe more?"

I raised my nose in disgust, staring at my best friend as he whispered something in Heidi's ear, making her burst into an exaggerated laughter again.

"Does it bother you?"

I turned to Harry to deny his accusation but when my eyes meet his, he's smirking and I admire the way his lips curled, digging that amazing dimple that I can't help but always notice.

"Why would it bother me?" i simply ask with a shrug.

"I don't know, you seem jealous." he teased me again, hitting my shoulder gently with his.

"Me? Jealous of long-legged barbie?" I scoffed, knowing I was anything but credible and it made him chuckle.

I laughed with him and let my head fall down with a smile, totally defeated. I couldn't hide this feeling, at least not to Harry.

"Yea, maybe a little." I finally admitted, looking back up at him with a guilty expression. "I know I'm not a star or a famous actress and even if it's not legit, it makes me fear he's gonna forget about me, someday."

I had talked low enough, just to make sure Niall wouldn't hear me, but I knew my insecurities were not based on anything. Niall had proved many times he would always keep me in his life. The problem was, this fear, even if not rational, was still alive and very tough to control.

Harry and I looked at each other for a few seconds before he finally grabbed his glass, drinking what was left in it and putting it back roughly on the table. I glanced at Niall who didn't even notice before turning my attention back to Harry.

"Okay, let's go to the dance floor!"

I chuckled and quickly shook my head, sending him a confused look.

"I can't dance, trust me. You don't want to be seen on a dance floor with me!"

He bent down a bit, moving his face closer to mine, and it made my heart jump inside my chest. Even from so close, Harry didn't have any physical flaw and i let my eyes roam on his face. He probably noticed because his lips curled, making me lick mine.

"I'll lead, come on."

I let him take my hand and pull me to the dance floor but as he started moving, I realized his moves were very random and i laughed. He pulled on my arm again and made me twirl, bringing an even bigger smile on my lips. I felt my whole body burn when it pressed against his and the feeling of his hands slipping on my waist brought a sensation of lust running all over my body. He leaned closer to me, so close I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

"I knew you could dance."

The tone of his voice made me quiver and I whimpered low, hoping he didn't hear anything and closing my eyes. His arm moved around my waist and brought me closer as his lips brushed on the skin of my neck. I didn't know why he was doing that but I didn't care. I really liked it, way more than I should. Niall's words came back to my mind suddenly, taking me out of my fairytale, and my eyes opened wide and quickly.

"I want an other drink."

I slipped out of his arms and got back to the table, grabbing the pitcher and pouring myself a glass. I was waiting for Niall to make a comment about me drinking beer but he didn't and I knew it was probably because he was not paying attention to me at all, too focused on the girl he was going to spend the night with.

Harry sat next to me, his hand sliding gently on my back before moving to grab himself a drink too. I felt bad and if I wanted to be honest, I was not sure exactly why. I swallow my drink a bit too fast and quickly poured myself an other one.

"You alright?"

I didn't dare to look at Harry and simply nodded. What was wrong with me? I wanted this, I wanted to be closer to Harry. I wanted to find out if something could happen between us. Niall's warning shouldn't get to my head, right? It shouldn't stop me from letting Harry in. My eyes moved up to look at him and he quickly looked away. Was Niall staring at me? It was probably just in my head. Perhaps, the alcohol was getting the best of me and making me see things. Niall was way too absorbed by Heidi to give me attention. That thought made my heart twist in my chest and i tried to swallow the sadness. Without thinking, I got up and sighed.

"I need something stronger."

#niall horan #niall horan story #niall horan writing #harry styles #harry styles story #harry styles writing #my fanfics #idk what i think about this chapter #its a bit meh

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tinkdw · 7 years

Note

I asked a bibro/anti if they could ever see destiel as canon. They said some interesting and definitive statements for someone who isn't a spn writer or production member. "Dean is not going to turn gay/bi." "Jensen hates destiel" "Dean is not going to mature into a non-codependent relationship with Sam partly because he has no desire to, partly because they’re actual literal soulmates, and partly because it would be boring TV."

I can see you really want an answer to this question as you asked me this twice so...

I just can’t even, I’m facepalming so hard.

Look antis are just hateful. They hate nice things. Ignore them.

As for bibros, I’m sure there are nice bibros, however this is not my experience. I know one who is kind of ok but still resorts to online bullying and calling us delusional for things that have already been textualised as canon on the show so meh.

Dean is not going to TURN Bisexual if he is canon bisexual. IT HAS BEEN THERE ALL ALONG. That is why we have written REALMS of meta on it, SINCE SEASON 1. Just because they don’t like it and refuse to see it doesn’t mean it’s not THERE.

This is the same for the end of the toxic codependency. And Destiel. And everything.

They say “it can’t happen because it would be OOC” and yet they are yelling that everyone is OOC since season 12 because they just don’t see that this is them BEYOND THE FACADE, being the REAL them. Jeez. They really don’t have a leg to stand on I’m sorry. They’re just flat out wrong and yelling about it.

The toxic codependency LITERALLY ENDED IN 12x22!!!! I mean even if it rears it’s head here and there or IF it gets re-verted (which I doubt given how much emphasis they gave the scene and build up to it in 12x22) it’s still framed as BAD and if you watch Andrew Dabb’s own episodes he frames the toxic codependency as BAD BAD BAD and that it has to end. Then he’s showrunner and WAM BAM. End.

He’s the one who wrote 5x16, the episode that the bibros love because apparently it says they’re canonically soulmates. PFFFT THIS WAS NOT WHAT DABB WAS SAYING AT ALL!!!!!! A. No, just no. There is no reading for this that is concrete, it’s a vague concept that I can understand but overall makes no sense. So all you have to do is look at author INTENT. Watch the rest of Dabb’s episodes and you see that the “canon soulmates” reading is completely contradictory to the rest of his writing. What he was saying was that Dean’s toxic codependency on Sam was BAD and terrible for his own personal wellbeing and that Sam just wanted to escape because of the burden of it all. Literally all of this episode was showing that Sam DID NOT WANT the codependency. Then the next episodes show Dean’s spiral into feeling he should say yes to Michael as he feels unloved by Sam and unwanted, because his hold on the codependency is so strong. It’s BAD BAD BAD. SHEESH. (Also ironically or perhaps not it’s CAS who helps him break out of this mindset through something that he doesn’t want on the top level in this terrible moment of regression to his old ways but helps him in the long run. Meta much).

Then later Dabb episodes bring this up more and more as bad and to END, I mean Carver did too obviously, season 8 was all a huge exposition of how terrible the codependency was, culminating in them failing to save the world because of it in a direct subversion of season 5, they kind of become anti-heroe because of the codependency.

They become BAD because of it! It’s TERRIBLE for their individual characters and together and it’s due to the codependency!!

Anyway.... so after all this we are now seemingly heading to a positive endgame and the toxic codependency is GONE. Dusted. @elizabethrobertajones has been yelling at me about how they sat at the table in 13x02 and how this is really important to show the dynamics of the codependency, namely that yes it is now ended, just as we hoped/expected it would be after 12x22.

"Dean is not going to mature into a non-codependent relationship with Sam partly because he has no desire to, partly because they’re actual literal soulmates, and partly because it would be boring TV."

I JUST WHAT?!!?!! Dean has no desire to?! This has been his journey all along!! Yes he APPEARED to not want to because he was hanging onto it but all he wants is to be EMANCIPATED and be his own person!!!! Facepalm. Again this is seeing top level Dean and thinking this is who he ACTUALLY is. Freaking surface level reading much.

That’s what the whole point of the “young Dean” and “uninhibited Dean” episodes are for - to set up who he wants to be. OUTSIDE of the codependency and the responsibility of patenting Sam being thrown on him he is totally different! He is soft, there are parts of him that are totally still HIM, helping people, wanting to do the right thing, but the facade is GONE. This is the point of the “inhibitions reduced” episodes like 12x11 or when he’s drugged up etc - and lo and behold he starts flirting with guys, saying he loves stuff he usually wouldn’t (Disney, Taylor Swift) ETC ETC.

These people are literally looking at PERFORMANCE LEVEL DEAN and thinking this is all there is to him.

It’s infuriatingly insulting to the writers, also to Jensen, but Jensen himself sometimes falls into it so I can’t even have such a go when he himself forgets to mention Taylor Swift and obviously does sometimes see Dean as the performance. But literally THIS WEEK he went into a whole spiel about how Dean has layers bla bla bla he’s seeing this more clearly as it becomes more obvious and yes thank you Jensen.

I have a whole tag for the Jensen x destiel thing because he varies on this but ultimately whatever happens he and no-one is going to just flat out come out and say “yeah guys we’ve been building this for X years and aw well it was supposed to be a huge big socio-political reveal but I’ll say yes here at this random con”.

So whatever, I stick to what the story is telling us and right now Dabb era is VALIDATING ALL OUR META.

- end of the toxic codependency. check.

- dean has to face the pedestal view of his mother to start learning to accept himself as flawed but still good. check.

- dean has to be more emotionally honest. check.

- sam has to face his past and his guilt through something to allow him to move past it and forgive himself (Jack is perfect). check.

- dean has to face his issues with his father (FUCKING CHECK BIG TIME THIS WHOLE SEASON IS ABOUT FATHERS AND JOHN ALREADY HAD AN OUT OF NOWHERE MENTION IN A BUCKLEMMING EPISODE NO LESS TO HAMMER HOME THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A HUGE FACTOR. IM LIVING).

- Destiel. Destiel is a huge part of Dabb’s own episodes writing. No wonder it’s so blatant in his showrunning and looking more and more like canon endgame.

So yeah, the bibros who kinda have a grasp on subtext are screaming that the characters are OOC and the writing is bad right now because they don’t like what they’re seeing. The ones who don’t grasp subtext think the show is great cos it’s just about the bros again and Cas is old news. They literally cannot see that Cas is ALL OVER 13x01/02 and I cannot even comprehend the stupid. They have even said it in all the interviews let alone in the actual show that he’s the undercurrent of Dean’s grief and he only get better when he’s back.

JEEZ.

So yeah. Sorry, this is such a rant because I am so done with this. I am so done with people thinking these hateful nasty people’s negative awful concepts of the show have any VALID meta reading.

They just don’t right now. Dabb is validating the positive meta that some have been writing for over a decade and I myself have only become a part of over the last year. To say it’s not true is not just infuriating but it’s insulting to the writers who put so much effort into doing it in the first place!!!

It’s snobby I know, but I do sometimes just sit back and think hey, the people I speak to regularly are all well educated people, most of them with with degrees, MAs, PHDs in literature, some actually work in writing/literature/cinema. We are not the idiots here. On top of that the fact that Dabb literally seems to have a checklist of our meta and is ticking it of.

Because it’s also HIS meta, it’s the way he wrote the show, it’s just validation that our readings were correct because that was the way they wrote it!

Yes things could flip if the showrunner or endgame for some reason changed but honestly I do not understand how that could happen now. It’s set up so strongly for the positive endgame we’ve been talking about for ages and now everything is setting up for it even more, we are like 85% of the way there, why would the final 15% change?

The antis/bibros just refuse to see the 85% of the story and are stuck on some warped view of what was set up as the BAD START as being the thing to strive for in the end. That’s not how story telling works.

They set up the BAD START so that in the end it could be subverted (you can see a lot of it is in Swan Song for example but not all of it, so that they could continue the story, in fact the things that aren’t or the way it’s then immediately subverted is then set up as the NEXT bad thing to continue the story ie. Sam always had to redeem himself and die but then he comes back WRONG).

It’s standard storytelling! Set up the bad start so that the heroes subvert it and end up in the good ending!

If at the start the hero is alone and alcoholic and clearly strives for a family but much of his blood family is negatively framed, doesn’t accept himself and hides parts of himself and “just wants someone to love him” (these are all things that are TEXTUALLY set up in season1 for Dean for example) then this is his endgame: a healthy life, found family around him and someone who loves him for exactly who he is warts and all.

This is blatantly what is happening (among others obviously but this is the easiest example as Dean pretty much carries the main emotional arc these days) and I’m so excited for it :)

#anti antis #wank for ts #imo #endgame positive #Anonymous

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878-sparksofmagic · 7 years

Text

The Crystal Fanged Snake- A Duck’s Adventure

This is for schooooool but im putting it here because reasons. Warning: It’s super cliche and probably predictable because it’s meant to demonstrate the standard heroes journey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an odd day for Grape. She had woken up, gazing around the coop for a bit. She saw the ducklings snoozing peacefully in the corner, while her crazy Grandpa was clearly awake in the roost above her. She could feel the small vibrations in the wood of the roost as he preened his feathers, getting ready for the day. She could not, however, hear her Grandmother, or her parents. They must be outside, Grape thought. I should join them, perhaps the farmer simply brought breakfast early today. With that, Grape stood, ruffling her feathers and stretching out her wings as she carefully climbed down the small ramp that led from her part of the roost to the ground, being very quiet so she did not wake her siblings.

As she stepped outside, she saw Grandmother, so she hurried over to her, asking where Mother and Father were at. "Oh them? The farmer came earlier and picked them up, most likely for a contest." Grandma replied, waddling with confidence towards the feeder, slowly, despite her leg, which had been crippled for as long as Grape could remember.

"Ah ok, so that means I have to watch the kids, right?" This was not an unusual thing for Grape, her parents were prized show ducks, and traveled with the farmer frequently. When this happened, she was forced to deal with her siblings, all three of them, and boy, were they a handful! "Alright Grandma, I'm getting breakfast."

The day went on as usual, and nothing to out of the ordinary occurred, other than Melon getting his head stuck in the fence when looking at the cows. He was not even supposed to go over there, but that never stopped the oldest of Grape's sibling from doing anything.

As Grape got the ducklings ready for bed, they seemed suspiciously compliant, putting up nearly no fuss, not even when Grape told them to preen their feathers. They usually hated doing that, but today they did it without a complaint. That was suspicious, but oh well, they must just be tired. Grape thought before heading up to sleep herself, carefully stepping up the ramp to her bed.

CRASH! "Wha- what?" Grape awoke with a start, immediately seeing Sugar, the youngest duckling, standing at the coop door, shaking and obviously terrified. "S-Sugar? What's wrong sis? Are you ok there?"

"Gwape! There- there- there waz a snakey!! It got Melo and Lemon!" Sugar shouted, and Grape could barely understand her. She was beginning to cry now, so Grape just wrapped a wing around her until she quieted down a bit.

"Can you talk now, Sugar?" She nodded. "Okay, then start from the beginning."

"Ok big sista. Melo said that we should sneak out, and I didn't wanna but he said I waz a chicken! And I'm noda chicken ima ducky!" She sniffed before continuing, "So we all snucked out while you were sleepin, and we went inda the forest to look at the pwetty stars." Grape nodded to say she understood the poor child before asking her to continue.

"Then what happened, kiddo?" Grape asked.

"We were just sittin' there, lookin at the pweeeetty stars but then there was a crack behind us and- and-" She was starting to get scared again, but she swallowed and continued. "-and the there was a big, scary snakey! It wasn't a normal snakey, it was BIG! And it stoleded Melo and Whemon! I runded away and hided in a tree trunk. I went weaaaaaaal close to me Gwape! It's eye was diiis close!" She gestured with her wings to show that it was only an inch or two away. "And it had a big, old, white eyeball!" She said the last word with a particular emphasis.

" Ok ok, so let me get this straight. You guys snuck out to look at the stars without telling me, and then a giant snake, with a white eye, came and took Melon and Lemon?" Grape asked with a hint of disbelief. "Are you sure that’s what happened?"

"Yes! Yes! And now that big stinky snake has Melo and Whemon!" It was clear by the way Sugar exclaimed this with such exasperation that this wasn’t just a joke set up by Melon. Something had happened to Grape's brothers, and she, being the only semi-adult duck that wasn't elderly around, would have to go rescue them. Oh no, she couldn't do that. What if there really was a huge snake monster, what could she do about it? I'm not ready for this! Grape thought. She would have to tell her grandparents about this, perhaps they would know what to do.

"-are you telling me us that you guys saw the crystAL FANGED SNAKE?! And it didn't EAT you?!" Well. It seems like Grandpa does indeed know about this thing. "How on EARTH did you survive Sugar??" Grandpa shouted.

"I hided in a tree twunk Grampi!" Sugar said in an innocent tone.

"I personally do not care how Sugar got away, the fact is, it seems like Melon and Lemon were not as lucky. We must find them again, and soon. Before that snake decides that it is hungry once more." Grandmother declared in a commanding voice. "Oh, curse this leg. If only it wasn't so useless! Grape, you must find the Raven. He has travelled to that creature's lair before, perhaps he can do it again. Me and Grandpa will watch Sugar."

"Uh, ok. Where do I find this guy?" Grape was nervous. She had hardly ever even left the farm, and now she was supposed to go find some strange bird? She hoped he didn't live too far away, at least she would not have to defeat this snake thing. This Raven fellow could do it right? He had before anyways, according to Grandma.

After receiving directions and eating some dinner, Grape set out on her adventure. She was nervous, but also full of hope. Her brothers would be alright, she just had to make it to this strange Raven and it would all go back to normal. He could save her siblings, and maybe she could even help a little!

Almost a half hour later, Grape was near the tree her Grandparents had described. Well.. This was it. She decided just calling his name might bring him down. "Um, Raven? Are you there?" She semi-shouted.

"Who's asking?" A voice croaked from above.

"Um, hello? My name is Grape?" Grape asked timidly.

"What do you want?" The scratchy voice asked.

"My brothers! They were captured by this snake and- and my Grandma said you could help? Can you please?" Grape called out.

"No, go away. I want nothing to do with some snake!" The Raven shouted back at her before ducking his head back into the small tree hole that must have been his home.

"Wh-what? But Grandmother said-" Grape was cut off.

"I said NO! I don't care what your grandma said, I won't risk my life to save some idiot ducklings from a snake. Any normal snake would have eaten them by now anyways." The Raven stuck his head back out, and Grape saw that he had no eye on one side of his face. Instead, the socket was blank and covered with skin. The other eye, however, was piercingly yellow as it stared beadily down at her.

"But sir, this isn't a normal snake-" His head tilted a bit at that "-It’s a, a what did Grandpa call it? The Crystal Fanged Snake, that’s what it was!" Grape shouted, cheery becaouse she remembered the name.

"No it is not. It couldn't be. I killed that snake years ago, I stabbed out its eye myself! It died, I saw it bleeding out! I- I sacrificed my own eye in the fight- it MUST be dead-" The Raven babbled, confused.

"Sir, you said you stabbed its eye? Well, my sister, Sugar, said that this snake was missing one of its eyes, plus it was spikey and certainly not a normal snake." Grape explained.

"Oh no, oh no. If what you say is true, girl, then this whole area is in grave danger. That snake was once the familiar of a witch, a witch who happened to love birds very much. It's a sad, complicated tale, one I do not have time to tell, but in the end that witch passed- leaving a bitter, angry, absolutely mad snake. One who has a passionate hatred for bird kind, and who magicked himself into being nearly invincible." He explained, shaking his head and trembling ever so slightly.

This was not good, Grape thought, If this snake is really as much of a threat as this Raven says, and he won't fight it, then what am I to do? "Can you fight this thing then?" She asked, nervously.

"No, no. I can't. I've been no good at fighting since I lost my eye. You will have to go. Don't worry, if he is truly blind in one eye, then I know how to fight him. Come up here, and we may discuss this." He said.

Grape looked at the tree, trying to find the best way up. The Raven rolled his eyes at this, and said: "There's a hole in the bottom that leads to here." He said dismissively before poking his head back in.

Grape scooted around the base of the dead tree until she found what he was talking about. As she climbed, the full realization that she was going to have to save her siblings weighed heavily on her, giving her a sinking feeling in her stomach. She was scared.

After discussing what she needed to do with the Raven, Grape set off to find the snake's Lair. According to him, she simply needed to sneak in, careful to stay out of his range of vision, grab her brothers, and get out. Simple. Or so she thought.

Grape was nearing where Raven had told her to go, and she was starting to grow apprehensive. But she would push on for her siblings. She gulped. I can do this. She hoped that Raven's advice would be good enough to get her through this.

She took a step forward, towards the ominous dark cavern of the snake, pressing on into the darkness. Ok, alright, just stay to the left... Her thoughts trailed off, she had heard a sound. Something slithering, scales scraping against the rock. She froze. Stay calm, stay calm.

"Helllloooo therrrre agaiinn littlllle duckiessss" Oh god he saw me he saw me he's going to eat me oh go- A clear voice rang out, interrupting Grape's panic.

"Shut up you dumb snake, and let us out!" Melon. Of course. He was always the bravest of them all, sometimes to a fault. Grape took a deep breath, she was still unspotted. She inched forward, and soon saw quite the scene before her. In cages all around, various birds, most of them young, were captured. In the center, watching her two brothers, was the Crystal Fanged Snake. His bad eye was towards her, luckily. He was massive, atop his head was a crown of rocky horn-like spikes, and protruding from his mouth were the crystal-like fangs of which his name derived from.

"Fooooolllisssh duckssss, I cannot let you ooooout. That would ruuuiiiin tomorowsss dinnneeer" His voice was sinister and cold. "Beeeeennn a whiiillleee ssssince I had duuuuck." And then he laughed, a chilling sound laced with all the cruelness imaginable. Grape started doubting herself once more, but then one of the birds near her, an owlet, caught sight of her, and its face lit up with hope. Grape put a wing to her beak, telling the bird to be quiet, and it nodded. Grape couldn't give up now. She would have to wait until the snake moved away, then she could free the birds and, especially, her brothers.

So she waited. And waited. But the snake never moved. Instead, he fell asleep right there, mumbling about ducks and dinner. Well, I suppose this will work, as long as everyone is very, very quiet when I let them out. Grape decided now was as good a time as any, and stepped forward, away from the shadow of the rock overhang she had been hiding under. Around her, she heard birds gasp in excitement as they caught sight of her. She pointed to the snake, indicating that they remain silent. Most got the idea, and stopped making noise. As she crawled forwards towards the nearest cage, she thought of how crazy this all was. Her she was, a young duck from a small farm, who happened to have some rambunctious siblings, about to free the prisoners of a crazy magical snake. She supposed it wasn't the most absurd thing that could happen, but still, it felt as if this was meant to occur. Her nerves had nearly disappeared, oddly, despite being terrified out of her mind only moments ago.

Lost in thought, she stepped on a stone, sending it tumbling. Nearly every very bird in the cavern gasped, looking towards the snake. But he merely let out a snore, turning over in his sleep.

Grape made it to the cage, and to the disbelief of the small owl inside, flicked open the lock. Grape pointed to the cave, telling the bird to escape now. The owl looked at her, nodded and sent a thank you with its eyes before scurrying out as quickly as it could without making any noise. Grape continued, freeing many. A crow, a rooster, two woodpeckers, all freed from the snake's clutches. Just as she was about to free Melon and Lemon, who were particularly close to the snake, there was a crash.

BANG! The last bird she had freed, a very young blue-jay, had fallen over a rock. The sound echoed through the chamber, and the blue-jay jumped up, sprinting towards the exit. Grape looked towards the enormous head of the snake, and was met with the blue eye of the snake. Grape realized her mistake. She hadn't stayed on the left, and now she was caught, red-handed, by the most powerful creature she had ever seen. The snake raised its head, eye fixed on Grape.

"HEY IDIOT LOOK AT ME!" Melon shouted, and the snake whipped its head around to snap at him.

"Ssssshut up you insssssolent morssssel!" Grape wasted no time, and ran to the other side of the snake, the blind side. "Heeey, where diiiid the other one goooo?" He hissed. "I willll find you, ruuuunt." The snake whipped his head around, searching. Grape ducked behind a rock.

She was scared, but her body knew what to do, somehow. She had to get her brothers out, they were the last ones. She just had to get over there. She peeked out from behind the rock. The snake had his back to her, perfect. She crept out as quickly as she could towards her brother's cage. "Theeerrree you arrreee. Thouuught I woullld leet you get awaaayyy didn't you?" Grape looked around. She was cornered. The cage was on one side, and there were rocks on the other. "Oh, loook at thhhhat, yourrr trrraped" The snake appeared gleeful, he would have his revenge on the bird that had released his meals. "You'lll be a greaaaat feaaast, idiiiot duck." Grape looked up, perhaps she could, no, she wouldn't make it, not with flying skills like hers- the snake lunged, and Grape's half-baked thread of a plan was put to the test. She leaped, popping open her wings, and soared over the snake's head. The snake had not expected such a maneuver, and it crashed, mouth agape, against the rocks. As Grape landed, the sound of shattering glass rang throughout the room.

"No- nooooo my fangggsss, they'rrrre brokeeeen!" The beast wailed. A substance leaked from the mouth of the wounded snake, wrapping him in a blanket of smoke. Grape covered her eyes, and when the smoke cleared, all that remained of the snake was its rocky horns, and the broken remains of its crystal fangs.

It was over, Grape had won. Granted, she had gotten much more then she had bargained for, and gotten very lucky, but she had still one. Melon and Lemon cheered, while Grape stood in disbelief. When she finally shook off her shock, she hurried over to unlock her brother's cage. Together, they walked out of the cage, Lemon and Melon both excitedly chittering about how cool that had been.

"You did it Grape!" Said Melon.

"That was the coolest thing I have EVER seen a girl do!" Lemon said, and Grape rolled her eyes.

"I suppose it was pretty cool, wasn't it?" Grape said with a smirk. Before leaving, the cavern for good, however, Grape took a look back, and decided to grab a few pieces of the snake's shiny fangs.

As they left to return home, they stopped by the Raven's house, who claimed that he was shocked Grape had actually lived. She gave one of the fragments to him. Next, they went home.

There was a lot of hugging and congratulations, as well as a firm scolding from the ducklings now returned parents, who were still in disbelief.

That night, as Grape was getting ready for bed, she looked at the ramp leading to her bed. Instead of taking it up, however, she leaped up, landing neatly in her bed. She tucked the last of the snake's fang fragments underneath, proof that she defeated such an odd creature. As she fell asleep, she saw her three siblings peacefully sleeping in their bed, and Grape knew in her heart that she could protect them from anything.

#my writing #grape #grape the duck #wooooo #All ten fuckin pages in all of their cliche glory

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ts-seychelles · 5 years

Text

EP. 8 - “Save Our Advantages For A Rainy Day” - JARED

https://youtu.be/lDQPmrzOKKw

Hey! So! Fuck Regan and JG! Honestly Jared and I were set up PRIME FUCKIN TIME for Merge, and so was Regan. So I’m kind of majorly pissed that she had to be such a unloyal bag of ....dice. So anyway, where do I go from here? Who knows. I sure don’t. Okay here’s the sitch. Immunity is essential. Regan has a dumbass idol. They essentially voted out the one person who would not.....have an advantage. Idiots. Idiots. I mean I’m sure I’m biased because Alex deserved to be here AND I LITERALLY TOLD ROXY I WOULDNT LIE TO HER AGAIN AND WHEN SHE WAKES UP SHES GONNA YELL AT ME which should be fun. But anyways. Besides that. I’m....swell. Had a nice rice and chicken dinner. Still have cute tricks up my sleeve. Jared pointed out Regan’s tell is when she says Ugh so I’ve been responding to everything she says with Ugh. That’s how this night is set to be ending. Honestly.....we’re fucked. But on the bright side....beat two of my placements.

Okay honestly...... all im saying is that I KNEW we weren't merging, but I'm also really really sad that Alex is out of the game and im PISSED that people wouldn't let him do well. I feel he's so nice and does a lot for the community that he's the kinda guy who deserves to make the jury, and considering it sounds like ruben and roxy are inactive now (which i believe) alex just shouldn't have gone, but some people decided to be SHADY *eyes regan and jg* The only good think about this is that we didn't merge, and I know my position in this tribe is beyond incredible, and if we lose immunity, I'm going to be fine. I'm in an alliance with literally everyone (oops) and I know that Augusto and Ricky would go after each other if we were to lose ANYWAYS!! But I also really wanna win immunity so I can potentially go to ghost island bc I think that'd be epic. I'm also surprised at who keeps going home from that tribe, but next time i'm fairly confident it'd be ruben and roxy......................... unless regan gets more power hungry and tries to split up the couple. i'd actually piss myself I want Regan to win so badly right in this very moment this isn't a joke like lol

Soooo JG leaving is really sad just because no one should have to go through personal life stuff it sucks ): Selfishly I’m happy and sad tho. I’m sad bc that’s another original Malabar gone. Like FUCKKK. But I’m happy because that means my current tribe didn’t have to go to tribal which means I wasn’t #exposed yet for playing all sides. It also means that my current tribe has numbers going into merge. But unfortunately I’m almost sure someone on the other side has an idol or two especially bc all the people who have gone to ghost island are on that tribe. I am just happy that I’ve hopefully made it almost made jury. That’s an accomplishment that I have not had yet in my ts career. As long as I make jury my unfinished business is finished and I can start being a literal crack head in this game again. I’m so pumped hehe :~)

https://youtu.be/g6stw70lF9w come join ur favorite drunk dad in the bath

Feels good to be back! I want it to be for the long haul though, so I'm not wasting anytime. Quickly fired up all the old convos and touched base with people. I don't think I can get the outcast vote, so I'm trying to make a deal with Drake where we get him into the game from our side, and the merge tribe votes me in. I think the old alliances will help me out, and I might have a shot with Regan. It'll be tricky. Alex seems to think he has it, but I'm not sure. I'll keep playing until the end though.

https://youtu.be/2-ZNQ5KNc-8

So am I like aligned with everyone left????? Hahahahahahaha I’m literally laughing. Johnny is still my number one so he OBVIOUSLY found out about this alliance that was made with me, Nicole, Jared, Regan, and Augusto. He wasn’t shocked, which I expected he wouldn’t be. This means that I now have 3 big alliances lmao Me, Ricky, and Johnny Me, Vilma, Johnny, and Augusto Me, Nicole, Jared, Regan, and Augusto This is a mess!!! Another mess? Me about to vote Alex Crooks back into the game lmao. What a fucking mood hahahahaha. We talked and he’s actually nice? This story arc is unreal. But I feel like I’m sitting kinda pretty rn so that’s pretty hot. I guess good things do come to the pretty ones! :~)

Ok. If Reagan wanted Drake back in the game so badly she should have just fucking voted for him. God damn everyone is so fucking dramatic.

Okay first off woooooo we merged...... we love expectations Anywho, I'll make a merge confessional later, this is about y'alls bitch ass twist that you threw in that is TAKING AWAY the fact that I was two tribals from single digits again....... now i'm four uwu Honestly, when I saw the returning players come back, my initial reaction was that I wanted Zach or Alex to come back, and it would've been nice to have both of them, but then lowkey I got ANNOYED because I got seen as the person in the middle (along with Augusto, Dan and Vilma...... ironic right #goldengirls), and I kept getting messaged the whole day about saving Alex vs Zach, and it was getting annoying because, even though I was in a physical alliance with Zach, I know that he had chats with literally everyone in the game, and I know he had two with me, and was really not even selling himself that well. Zach coming back would've been a mess because I'm trying to build more bonds with the people who want to vote Alex back in, and I'm not worried about people like Ruben and Roxy wanting me out because I think that I have a good relationship with both of them.... Now this just comes down to how good of a job I can do at saving them? eep uwu anywhom. the part that REALLY got fun for me yesterday was when I lowkey finessed my way into the outcast vote to try to make sure that Drake didn't get back in.... uwu T B Q H. I like Drake a lot, but he is from this other community we're both from, where he acknowledges me as this character of johnnyscott1127, and wouldn't probably want to get to know ME in the realm of the game, and he'd start calling me a target and a big player, when in these games I try to keep a really low profile until it's time to strike, so Drake coming back wouldn't have been great for my game. THE HOUSE BURNS IN THE MEADOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I spoke to Crooks, let him know all the work I was doing to get back into the game, and I sold to him as to why Frankie was way less threatening to come back into the game. The other tribe all had alliances with Drake when he was in the game apparently (I didn't specify this to Crooks, but I heard this from Augusto), and I kept selling the fact that Drake would be the kind of player to be gung ho on getting out anyone from OG Lazare, and he just had to go because of that.............. THEN I started talking to Frankie, and it all made sense to try to push bringing Frankie back into the game, so then when Frankie returned I got psyched. I'm not too sure what Frankie is going to do, and if he'd even work with me or not, but I'm going to try really hard with my social game to try to get Frankie on my good side. I've got a good feeling about the two people that returned, and I genuinely think that it was acredited a bit to myself. sometimes I sleep on my face, and only my face. Now I have to get back to a real merge round....... oye vey. god speed to me :)

me: just a quick confessional me: talks for 7 minutes https://youtu.be/G-SSmhcWQmA

(A LITTLE LATER)

https://youtu.be/clUNEh2XzoU

I went from feeling so confident going into this group of 13 and now I’m worried??? Idk I feel like bringing Alex back wasn’t great now? If he’s still connected to Nicole and Jared, and everyone else is too I might be fucked??? Idk I’m trying not to be crazy and work on just getting to jury bc I’ll be damned if these fuckers take that away from me. Everyone seems set on Ruben or Roxy this round which is fine, but also like they’re so inconsequential to this game imo. I barely talk to them, but they have approached me with concerns about a big alliance on the other side? The issue is, me, Johnny, and Augusto are so in the middle at this point that it might be stupid to try to make a big move at this point. We just need to really figure out where Asya and Ricky’s heads are at. I wanna talk one on one with Vilma too and maybe expose some stuff to her to bring us closer together.

Okay so like honestly..... I kinda wanna do a whole merge confessional, and just go over the entire merge, now that we're officially merged as a group of 13 people, but I'm really not sure if I even want to do that officially just because #laziness This is where we're at. Ruben has apparently been inactive for far too long, he's been to like..... one tribal all game? and he just isn't active, and since we've been back I haven't gotten too deep into a conversation with him. I have tried to fight for him, to a few people today, but apparently this is the case of a big name player from another community coming in and not trying that hard. I am sad about it because I really trusted Ruben and thought we'd be able to actually make it pretty deep this time, but it just seems like literally everyone wants him out and idk what to do about it EYE (emphasis on the ME ME ME) wanted to get out Roxy. She has relationships with everyone, and is being grouped in with Ruben, and also she has backstabbed me in TWO games without me even coming close to seeing it coming. Like she would talk to me the same way she is right now, but then she'd just snake me when it's time to go, and I'm really not about that life OR her being here, much longer, but I don't think she's going anywhere today, or potentially for awhile. I spoke to Regan, Augusto and Dan about the pros of getting rid of Roxy over Ruben, but I got shut down, and it seems like everyone wants Roxy, so it is what it is IN OTHER NEWS, i went on a call with Alex last night to confirm that we were going to ride out this entire game together (this was more him confirming with me, but ofc im going to treat him like my #1), and I openly told him that I had another person already that I was REALLY gung ho about, and that I am dedicated to him, but he just has to know I am just as dedicated to one other person........... and then he tried to GUESS who that person was, and I just knew I had to deter all attention away from Augusto, so when Alex guessed, he guessed Vilma and I said no, and then he guessed Dan and I decided that was the right time to remain silent, and he just figured it was Dan (I kinda confirmed it verbally). I told Crooks I would watch out for Dan, making sure that Dan wouldn't go after Alex, but the thing is, is that Dan thinks that we've got a really tight one on one relationship as well, so it even more masks my relationship with Augusto if I really was trying to do so. I've got Augusto as my obvious #1. I am intending on telling him nearly everything this game, with caution ofc, and then I've got Dan and Alex, and lowkey Vilma, who also think they have that like "rock solid" #1 relationship with me, so I'm getting nervous about the amount of relationships that I've got in the game, and I'm nervous that it may come back to bite me SOOON!!!! I've got: Finnanut - nicole/jared Golden girls - dan/augusto/Vilma Power bottoms - Asya/Vilma Jeopardy stars - Ricky/dan Flops icons - Regan/augusto OG jerzy crew - Ruben/Roxy F2 with alex F2 with dan F2 with augusto yea I need help................. I have too many relationships and this is not good at all. I don't really know what to do about it, BUT I do think a lot of people in the cast are just so intertwined with one another, and so many alliances have been made that it's kinda crazy to think about The only people I really don't have any alliance or relationship with are........................ Frankie? Yea this is bad. I've fucked myself big time haha. Ready for another bitter jury szn

I don't understand why the HELL Ruben, Roxy, Dan, Augusto, and Regan voted me back into the game. I'm not complaining though. I am complaining about Zach though. Because he literally threw me under the HARD in an attempt to get back into the game. He told everyone that Asya/Ricky/Me/Jared/Nicole were in a five person alliance. Which... we are. But he didn't actually know that. He just happened to guess it. A lot of people kinda assumed it to because of how much they wanted me back in. I talked to Johnny last night and I had a fever/sick dream about turning everything on its head this tribal. A ton of folks are gun ho on getting Roxy and Ruben out first. And while that is fine and dandy, that’s too easy. Johnny mentioned it’ll get messy once they’re gone because the two easy ones will be gone plus Frankie. That puts us at final ten which makes it risky for rocks. And if they try to break up the supposed five that Zach leaked they’ll try and make a mark against one of me Asya Ricky nicole and jared. And in hopes of trying to keep everyone happy and not leave an angered soul I could easily get out at 11. So like... Why am I agreeing to get out ruben and Roxy first. I'm agreeing to get Ruben out first because he annoys me. But after that? We'll see.

I'm going UTR on this vote, not doing too much swaying of anything. I have the people I trust the least being targeted, and that is all that matters. Roxy and Ruben. Nicole and I an save our advantages for a rainy day. We have strong relationships out the HOOHA!

Ashen went home in a unanimous vote, which is more than I can say for Malabar cause their tribal is deadass a yikes on bikes. I’m over here having been to 5 out of 7 tribals yet all of them have been unanimous and they are like PLAYING the game. It’s interesting to say the least because those very game players are people I will face (hopefully sooner rather than later). Also, the fact that we did not merge directly into 12 is TRASH like waiting another round sounds awful plus like…. I’m worried for my future in a sense? Don’t know how to explain it, but I’d love to merge so I can hide behind certain people. All in due time, I hope.

(A LITTLE LATER)

So JG just left the game due to an emergency and that makes me super sad like JG doesn’t deserve any of that plus I feel like I’ve been giving him a bad rep as this super inactive person that he doesn’t deserve, so that sucks. I hope this puts into perspective that the game is supposed to be this fun little escape from reality cause it can be quite harsh for some people like JG. I don’t know, I just wanted to say that. On a more sadly selfish note, we’re now down to eleven people in the game and this means a merge will be coming and that a new chapter will begin and change isn’t SUPER fun but I’m oddly excited to kick the game into a higher gear and just have a blast.

(THE CAMERA HE STOLE HAS TO RUN OUT OF BATTERIES SOON)

The merge IS HERE AND QUEER! Okay Seychelles, let’s get sickening! Seriously though, I’m just super proud of myself for making it to the merge like I wouldn’t have been shocked if I had left early, but I’m here! <3 I also get to reunite with allies like Regan, Jared, Nicole, and see new people such as Ruben. My approach to this stage of the game is to be wildly calculated if that makes sense. I wanna play the middle, I wanna be social, and I want to play a crazy game because if my unfinished business needs finishing, I’m here to do it in any way I can. I have the tools to do so since I have a final two with Johnny, a close duo-type relationship with Jared, a duo-like relationship with Regan, close to Dan, have The Golden Girls with Johnny/Dan/Vilma, have that Great Lakes connection with Roxy, was super close to Nicole on NuLazare, and then I’m starting to talk to Ricky and Asya more. Ruben is really the only person who doesn’t fit the equation but I gotta talk to him more to see what I can work with.

(I MEAN THOSE ARE SOME DAMN GOOD BATTERIES)

Fuck my drag and my chances to win right? Okay so the host decide to shake things up with a little #TwistosTwist and now there’s a group of Outcasts who can come back into the game. So I think this is awesome that the pre-mergers get another chance in a season all about redemption and finishing what you started, BUT it does not help that I’ve voted out 5 of the 7 people who can return. Those votes were all unanimous, but I was still a part of them leaving so it’s not too exciting. It is a cute little throwback to Bhutan though since I was in the position of the Outcasts and had to beg to return to the game, which didn’t exactly pan out but hey I’m here so I’ve been doing something right. My gut tells me that Drake should return to the game since I never voted him out and we were working together on OG Malabar, but there’s also another person returning so I’m not sure where to really go with that vote.

i hope i don’t go home haha

I totally forgot to finish the confessional before I sent it lol I hate myself ANYWAY I think Ruben should be the vote tonight but I'm counting on him pulling out some weird ass advantage and one of us getting rocked out, or voted out. Like... that dumb man aint gonna go down that easy. He's been a thorn in my side since DAY ONE, and I will not miss him if he leaves. Also, Alex, Asya and Ricky are proving to be great allies so I kind of feel bad for being so hesitant in the beginning. At this point I have done a lot better than I did the last two times I've played and had more fun, so really if I go I go. But, it's been super fun so far and I feel like although I'm struggling making individual connections, I can stand a good 90% of this group and that's honestly a plus.

Call me the bank because people stay depositing their information to me and like no worries for them cause I’m keeping it locked up in the safe. So Regan and I were on call and the good sis gave me a rundown of the NuNuMalabar dynamics and also the fact that she has an IDOL. I now know where all 3 Hidden Immunity Idols are located and that’s insane to me. If I can’t have an idol, at least I know who does! Zach and Ruben also gave me a rundown of all sorts of information despite me just barely meeting them, which is pretty awesome. I caught up with Jared as well and then Johnny always has a bit of tea for me, so I’m happy in that sense! Also an alliance was created between Jared, Nicole, Regan, Dan, and myself which is a solid group that I could work with for a bit. This also pulls me a bit closer to Dan, which is never a bad thing. My only worry is how I can play the middle since the merge again might be a Jared/Nicole versus The World situation, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. In terms of the Outcast vote, it’s looking to be Alex and potentially Drake. While Zach and Ruben want me to vote in Zach, I feel like I can protect my position by voting in Alex as Zach is so gung-ho to target the couple. I also talked to Ashen about everything that happened when they left, which was nice. I also reconnected with Samantha which is always fun (she was super robbed). I do hope that like things seem this natural (?) for the long haul.

Well idk what's going on My main two allies are Jared and nicole Then I have an alliance with Johnny and Augusto Then an alliance with Jared, Nicole, Augusto and Dan called the Malabars and Nicole And Ruben is going and I feel bad but like he doesn't come online

Color me shook cause I did not expect this to happen in the slightest. Alex returning 11-0 was a given but Frankie returning was a surprise especially since I was so sure it would be Drake. Frankie returning is…. Interesting because I feel as though Ashen could’ve potentially ruined my future in the game with Frankie since Ashen wanted Regan out when Frankie left but Drake and I suggested not to. Plus, Frankie and I were actually somewhat close before he went home but it kinda feels off this time around. Drake really deserved to come back after how swap fucked he was, but you can’t win them all. Regan exploding at Frankie is a major yikes though since I want Regan to get as far as she can and THIS is not the way to do it. Also, Alex returning is a question mark since I feel as though he does have options and it’s unclear if I’m one of em, ya feel? We’ll see in due time because both him and Frankie are immune for this first tribal.

https://youtu.be/oZSe415LhOo

Ruben is back tribal is in 21 minutes i feel the angina creeping through my veins

I love somehow being decent in a challenge! Vilma winning immunity was dope since I’m in an alliance with her, plus it means it isn’t any of Jared/Nicole/Ricky/Asya/Ruben/Roxy who are all likely candidates for the boot this round. I mean, I say that only because they are somehow prominent pairs in the game and have all been part of moves in the game (less Ricky/Asya), so it’s a no brainer. I’m leaning towards Ruben just because I haven’t played with him at all whatsoever yet and I have no previous connection like being on a tribe with him to default to. Although, jury management on my end would be kinda bad but it’s just the beginning of the merge so who knows. Again, I need to save face with certain people to gain trust so that when I do kind of swing back and forth, I have more footing to work with. Roxy and I also reconnected which was cute, I did express to her how she is being perceived (inactive, in a tight alliance with Ruben) just to be honest but to also gain her trust a bit since we haven’t been able to play the game together. She was really receptive to that and dismissed the fact that her and Ruben were a tight duo but rather that they sort of got lumped together, which I can believe. With her and Ruben likely being on the chopping block, I hope Roxy can stay out of danger since she’s more beneficial to me than Ruben. Although, Johnny disagrees as he stated in the newly made Iconic Flops alliance with Regan, Johnny, and myself. I don’t really agree with him but hey, as long as it isn’t me hgjfdks

GUYYYYSSS WHYYYY I CAN'T KEEP UP TALKING TO 18 PEOPLE AT ONCE THIS IS A NIGHTMARE First of all I woke up to approximately 19827961487 messages And they were mostly from people who had already been voted out I was like Did I get eliminated while I was asleep??????? I don't know which is worse This or surprise elimination It's almost tribal time and I'm kinda busy and don't remember what I wrote last time but there was a twist and two people re-entered the game and I obviously wasn't a fan of that. The remaining players voted in Alex and outcasts voted in Frankie which I was shocked about because Drake was pretty much convinced it was going to be him. Then I accidentally won immunity: I hate that thing how did it win I think Alyssa summed it up perfectly It's just a mess I definitely prefer Asya and Nicole's I think I have to throw the next challenge I hope it sucks I just realised the same thing happened my original season I accidentally won the merge immunity Last time it was the hex challenge This probably means I'll last a couple more rounds max until I become a target and die I'm happy because merge boots are usually intense but on the other hand it looks like this vote isn't going to be that intense after all, everyone has kinda just agreed to vote out Ruben due to inactivity. I guess I'm okay with that but I definitely don't think it would be my best interest to get out both Roxy and Ruben in a row. We're entering the point of the game where I have to start considering who I'd like to take to the end with me and so far I definitely haven't played a winning game because my social game SUCKS. I'm just so bad at starting conversations it's sad really. I don't think I'd win against most of the people who are left so I definitely need to start spotting the goat-y people and try to keep at least some of them around... I'm kinda concerned about the whole Jared/Nicole/Alex/Asya/Ricky group because I don't feel especially close to any of them and hope at least one of the group would get voted out soon so they wouldn't get too much power. Sorry about the messy confessional I'm in a hurry because tribal starts in 3 minutes I hope I can write something more insightful soon.

#itsgametimekids

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