#i mean sure. it would be much more pleasant if i wasn't trapped with so many other people in a giant tube that i cannot get out of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosmicjoke · 3 months

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Hi again,

I haven't had time to organize my thoughts coherently so this might be a bit disorganized, apologies in advance lol.

We all know that Levi takes it upon himself in the AOT universe to be responsible for the lives of others, probably because he's the only one who has the strength he does. But does Levi ever expect others to want to care about their fellow humans' lives (especially those in power)? His own value of life might be so obvious to him, so would he expect others to share his value of life? Whether in AOT universe or in the modern world (if he did live in our modern world and didn't have the superhuman strength he does). I mean, in AOT universe, it's clear he can singlehandedly make significant contributions to saving the lives of others, but in the modern world, most of us obviously just aren't that physically strong and/or have very little actual power or authority on our own to help those who are oppressed, victimized, killed even...in the modern world, it's really a collective effort. Our strength is in numbers. So i guess my question is, would Levi hold that expectation of others in the modern world? Like, what if he was placed in a situation where he didn't have the superhuman strength he does, and has to rely on the goodwill and cooperation and *desire to help* of others in order to help people. He values life immensely, but it's also clear that he realizes that perfect peace in humanity is an unachievable ideal, right? Like human violence against other humans has always been and will always be a thing, both in his universe and ours. So while he probably expects that there will always be people who just want to harm their fellow humans, does he also always expect there to be people who want the opposite?

If he *does* hold that expectation for others, do you think he feels disappointment when he is inevitably let down, and he comes face to face over and over again with the fact that some other people simply do not care for fellow human lives? Or does he just set his expectations for others so low that he thinks it's a default for people to behave in that way? And whenever he does meet someone else who values life as much as he does, it's more like just a pleasant bonus rather than a given?

hopefully any of that word vomit made sense lol

These are great questions you're asking me, haha! So first, let me just say thank you. I really enjoy this sort of conversation about Levi.

It's interesting about Levi, because while he has this great strength, and he utilizes it the best he can to help others, he's still faced, more often than not, with sort of his own sense of helplessness. He often isn't able to save as many lives as he wants to, or make as much change as he hopes. He said something along those lines to Hitch, during the Uprising arc, when she was criticizing the SC for getting so many people killed in Trost while trying to capture Annie. He said "Hmph... It makes me sick. We're all in the dark when it comes to how this world works. Other than the ones in the very center, of course..." So I think, even within the setting of the AoT universe, Levi still feels pretty powerless, the same as he would if he lived in a modern world and didn't have his Ackerman powers. I think that's also pretty evident post time skip, after they've lost Erwin. Levi sees himself as a tool, as a weapon to be wielded by others. That's what he views his strength as good for. For Levi, Erwin was the person he sort of relied on to utilize that strength to its maximum potential, and when he lost Erwin, I think Levi felt a definite sense of directionlessness. He wasn't sure anymore how to use his strength to help others, even as the desire to do so remained just as strong. I think it was similar to how Levi felt when he was living in the Underground. He wanted to help people, but there wasn't much he could actually do. He was trapped in poverty and desperation with everyone else down there, and being physically powerful, while it can help in some things, isn't going to do much when we're talking about social inequality or oppression. Isayama said that Levi came to the surface because he wanted to help people, something he realized he was able to do after Furlan and Isabel came into his life; but his circumstances and status Underground limited his options. He didn't have citizenship, for one thing, so he couldn't officially join any sort of service branch, like the military. So I think Levi was always very familiar, even with his exceptional physical strength, with this feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, and a sense of being unable to do much to help others, despite his desperate wish to.

So, going into what you asked about Levi's expectations of others in that regard, I think Levi definitely WANTS people to care about others and to have the same level of respect and sense of value for life that he does. But that doesn't necessarily mean he expects them to be able to protect life or help others in the same capacity that he does. In fact, I think Levi understands and is sympathetic toward people not being able to do much to improve theirs or others circumstances. During his speech to the 104th during the Uprising arc, he speaks about choosing the hell of people killing each other over the hell of being eaten by titans. What he means by that is that he wants people to have a choice. As things stood then, the people of the walls were essentially living in a giant prison. They were trapped and had no options, no freedom, no choice in how they lived or where they went, and through no fault of their own, through no action on their part. It was just how they were born, the circumstances they were born into. So, yes, while Levi definitely understands and is accepting of human nature, of the violence inherent to human nature, and while I think he understands more keenly than anyone the tragedy and inescapability of that reality, he also believes the way people live should be up to them, and he prefers them having that choice, even if it manifests in violence and killing each other, to them having no choice at all and still dying. He calls both realities hell, but the hell in which people get to at least have a say in what happens to them is better than things happening to them which they have no control over.

Levi himself grew up in an environment which left him with no option but to rely on violence in order to survive. So yeah, I think he definitely understands that sometimes people just don't have a choice and that they can't always do the "good" or "right" thing, according to society, depending on the circumstances. He understands that sometimes you need to kill in order to protect yourself or others. He understands that sometimes you need to steal in order to survive. A lot of the characters in AoT look at morality as a static concept, through a black and white lends. They categorize things in two ways, good and bad, and there is no in between. Levi is one of the only characters that understands the fallacy of that premise. Morality isn't static. It's on a sliding scale and it's complex. What's good and bad, what's right and wrong, depends on the circumstances, depends on the situation. It's not always wrong to kill someone. It's not always wrong to steal. It's not always wrong to use violence. It doesn't always define a person's morality or reflect on their worth as a person if they do something which, within normal society, would be considered "bad" or "illegal". I always talk about how Levi is probably the least judgmental character in AoT, along with probably Armin. Levi never tries to tell anyone what to do or what they should think or believe. He always lets other people come to their own conclusions and choices.

With that said, what I do think Levi wouldn't be accepting of and what would really disgust him in another person is a total disregard for life. And that's why Levi hates Zeke as much as he does. Because Zeke shows, repeatedly, not just a deliberate disregard for life, but he also repeatedly expresses actual pleasure in the taking of it. We see Levi express similar disdain for Eren after the raid on Liberio, when he compares Eren's actions to the scum he grew up with in the Underground. What we know from this is that Levi no doubt witnessed a lot of blatant disregard for life while growing up, a lot of people treating the lives of others as worthless, taking life without needing to, just because they felt like it or because they simply didn't care and were apathetic toward other people's lives, and we also know it's something Levi has always felt disgusted by. So while I think Levi is both sympathetic and empathetic toward people not always being able to act and help others, and also toward them sometimes having to engage in certain types of behavior and actions that society would generally frown upon, what I think he wouldn't forgive and would be extremely judgmental toward is deliberate cruelty, dismissiveness and a contempt shown toward life and what he believes is its inherent value. I think, to Levi, that's unforgivable. So while Levi understands the reality that there will always be people who deliberately want to harm others, and who take pleasure in harming others, that doesn't mean he has to like it or forgive it. He accepts that violence is just a part of the world and a part of human nature, and he accepts and even forgives that people are sometimes forced to violence. What he won't forgive is intentional cruelty and disregard shown toward life.

So I think Levi probably is disappointed in the sense that he wishes things could be better, that people could be better in general, while at the same time acknowledging that this is just the way people are and there's nothing he can really do about it. I don't think he necessarily has low expectations, but I think he's always ready to be faced with the ugly side of human behavior. But still, he'll determine the worth of a person's character based on how much respect they have toward life, I think. Again, if someone shows a blatant disregard for life, or shows they don't value life in a truly meaningful way, Levi's not going to think very much of that person. We see that demonstrated in his disgust, also, for the nobility and their greed and selfishness in how they treat the general populace.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #analysis #meta #commentary

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wishing-stones · 6 months

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I’ve written myself into a corner for an idea I’ve had for a while, but never seen nor managed to fully attempt. I seen stories of mage!readers, but never any of well, the mages. The ones that sealed away monsters, the seven. And I had the idea to add Baggs, but I’ve generally hit a brick wall because??? I’m not sure how’d he respond? I mean, typically someone as intriguing as a mage would catch his radar, but we’re talking the literal reason in most multiverses including his own, why monsters are trapped underground? Do you have any helpful suggestions or insights?

Weeeellll, this is difficult to answer completely because he's not mine, he just lives rent-free in my head and struts around like he owns the place, but I'll give it a shot here.

To start, this assumes that the mages from the war are still alive, which insinuates a couple things:

Either they're incredibly long-lived, or the war wasn't all that long ago. I default on the former, but it's your worldbuilding and it's up for you to decide

If the above isn't true, there's time travel or dimensional warping or something similar involved,

I have a couple of headcanons and scenarios I've thought about re: Baggs Meets a Mage (who isn't Ren/not in the R&R verse)

Mages don't look any different than humans most of the time (unless they follow my 'monster x human hybrid' rule, which means they sometimes have monstrous traits) so they can fly under the radar with monsters unless

They have the aforementioned monstrous traits (again, in line with my headcanons and continuity/multiverse theory for the UTMV)

Use magic in front of a monster

Outwardly look like a mage via clothing and/or weapon choices

Are in an encounter where they can be CHECKed

Baggs might treat a mage as he treats any other human. Cautious, observing their movements, trying to get a good, concise read of them to determine whether or not he has to do something about them, and proceeding from there. He can't Judge anymore so he has to leave it up to intuition, because he sure as shit isn't initiating an encounter, and startling a potentially dangerous human is a bad idea re: his magic. He doesn't usually open with it unless he's sure he'll be successful, or at the very least, it won't be as much of a fight to get them under.

If/when he figures out they're a mage, that's when he becomes a bigger problem for them. He hasn't had the chance to study a mage before. Are their souls stronger than standard human souls? How does mage magic hold up to monster magic? Similarities, differences, limitations, all of the things he knows about monster magic he will want to learn about mage magic. He'd definitely be interested in keeping them somewhere he could observe them, so chances are, they'd be down in the lower lab in some room or cell.

He isn't cruel, first and foremost, so he'd approach them and the situation as if they were a guest and kind of... subtly nudge them into compliance with his charisma rather than resorting to his magic-- it might color his data. He'd make bargains and deals, reward good behavior, and be about as much of an open book as he can be for information exchanges.

But he'll never tell about his ace-in-the-hole hypnosis magic. that's insurance.

A compliant and agreeable mage will find him pleasant company. If he deems them not a threat, accommodations and privileges get better and more relaxed. If he feels like he can trust them, he loosens the reins a little and lets them have a bit more freedom.

A combative and potentially dangerous mage will find him holding them at arm's length and treating them with cold, clinical professionalism. If he feels like he's in danger, he'll absolutely subdue them, and if his magic doesn't work as anticipated, he has sedatives. He doesn't play games with his safety, so if it's in question, they're going to be treated as a threat and he handles them as such.

Specifically, with a mage who was in the war;

He'd be very interested in firsthand accounts of what happened. How was the barrier put up? What kind of magic is it, how was it cast? Why would mages turn on monsters when they, too, can cast magic? Were they truly jealous, or was there something more behind the conflict? Half of his lines of questioning will be less about their magic and more about their history. He's heard a few firsthand accounts from the few remaining veterans of the war, but hearing it from a human mage is different. It gives him the other side of the story rather than the one-sided version from monster history.

Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, he wouldn't treat a mage who helped erect the barrier with any animosity if it wasn't directed at him first. He thinks having them stuck down here is its own poetic justice. Trapped in the very cage they helped create-- the irony does not escape him.

More than that, he has someone who knows how that magic works and might well be motivated to help remove said magic. He will play up this fact hard, leaving little tidbits in conversation about how long it's been, how they've all been struggling to escape and, oh... if only there was someone who could help. He's been trying so very hard, you know. He's oh so tired.

To sum up in a sort of tl;dr: He's reactive to how he's treated, and good behavior goes a long way with him. Hostility will be met with hostility in return, and he will subdue a threat by whatever means necessary, medical or magical. He's not cruel, so he won't resort to dubious means of gathering or extracting information, and his magic is his carefully guarded trump card. Words and charisma are just as good at getting information as prising it by force via hypnosis. He'll manipulate a mage into doing what he wants, doubly so if they helped make the barrier. Building a positive relationship with him via trust makes him much more pleasant to be around and he might even, eventually, step out of the realm of professionalism and into intrapersonal. A negative relationship gets a mage treated as a prisoner or subject, and he's cautious and cold in the extreme. But never cruel. This is not a man who does or even would resort to torture for anything. The very worst he'd do is gaslight. He is still a monster in a canon-adjacent-AU. His soul is made of love, compassion, and hope, as all monsters are. It is not and cannot be in his nature to cause undue suffering, and in the end, his highest motivators are to ensure the safety and eventual release of the underground, and to keep his brother happy. Almost everything he does is driven by those two things.

Got way long-winded lmfao but this is something I've thought a fair bit about, so you're lucky anon! (Most especially because I have a mage character who has a kind of interesting dynamic with him in the bits and pieces of drabbles and brainrot I've done with them.)

I hope this bit of character analysis helps you get out of your corner!

#k answers #k headcanons #feat. baggs #I love him a Normal Amount wdym #anyway there's LOADS of headcanon and speculation in here so take everything with a grain of salt #It's your worldbuilding and not mine after all!

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whenthechickencry · 4 months

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Umineko EP7. Replay Part 2

Everyone Sayo started being a servant with left at the same time, leaving Sayo with mixed feelings of disappointment and relief, but still pretty hopeful at what the future will bring... This is the first time someone other than Sayo acknowledges Shannon as a person, so I think this is around when she started messing with other identities? Makes sense that when all the servants left she could start trying to be someone other than "Yasu", who she hated.

Sayo's pranks are really mean if you think about it, and some servants are clearly very unsettled by them. Obviously, though, this is Sayo's way of getting back at people that torment her. A bit of a power trip for someone who has very limited control on their life otherwise. The effort Sayo had put into bettering herself when a new group of people came went to waste because the rumors started by people not even there anymore still persisted....

This scene marks the change from Beatrice, Gaap, Shannon as vague concepts she had in her head into actual characters with laid-out backstories. Including some hasty rewrites lol sorry Gaap you are nameless now.

....

Shannon's role changes here as well - she used to be Sayo's imaginary friend, the perfect example of a servant who everyone liked. But with Shannon becoming a physical person and not just an ideal Sayo strives to be she is now someone who "messes up from time to time, .... but I want to become a kind servant whom everyone loves", also goes to school despite the Shannon character being an older servant. Mixing up elements from Shannon the character and Sayo the actor of Shannon. As pleasant as writing and escapism and imaginary friends can be, Sayo still wants to have actual, human relationships.

It's played up as Shannon is a pervert haha and yes I am sure she was also starting to develop sexual thoughts but also I wonder how much of it was curiosity about how bodies were supposed to be growing when her body wasn't growing like it was "supposed" to....

It's really not hard what caused Sayo to fixate on this concept and Battler.... someone who feels such general unease about their identity, about their life, etc. When someone comes at you talking about how you can't neglect people's inner worlds and they like looking into that....

These words are so senseless, and I am not like, dunking on Battler he was a child as well, but saying to a person who is hurting that you are going to save them any time when you actually can't do that... Giving a person who feels trapped in a shitty life hope that you will save them when you have no means or intention to is extremely cruel regardless of intention.

We go back to Will-Lion commentary and Lion is freaking out more and saying they can't understand, and Will tells Lion they are the man character of this play and that Clair herself thinks she is impossible to understand by now... so they should shut up, keep listening and understanding. Sayo doesn't have kind words for Battler right now, hahah.

Shannon finds out about Battler leaving the family and we get more details about this... it's not really a surprise that Battler does not like the fact his mom died, a random woman is immediately joining their 'family', and it's obvious he was cheating on Asumu while she was alive. Natsuhi is giving Rudolf shit since she hates infidelity ofc. Just saying that I am not really surprised Natsuhi seems to suspect Krauss of cheating, I don't think anyone would like to be told by their partner that they get TOO angry about cheating and to be less mean to cheaters.

I don't think anyone can really give Battler shit for this specific decision he made. I think he was well within his rights to grieve his mother like this. I think the part you CAN give him shit is not trying to keep contact with Shannon in any way and robbing her both of her best friend, crush and hope for the future without so much as saying "I know, I'm sorry". "...In the worst case, I might have to wait until the next family conference."

Sayo's conception of "A life with Battler" is surprisingly grounded. Go back to the orphanage, use your work money to be able to see him occasionally, finish school, and move to an area nearby. WAY more of a real plan than Battler just saying "Come live with me lol". She's putting so much thought unto something that was definitely said with no thoughts behind it. George is like HE'S NEVER COMING BACK PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE

Sayo is disappointed about Battler not coming so she starts trying to control the situation by blaming herself... it was her fault for not being resolved. Her fault for not being ready yet. As soon as she's ready he's gonna come.

Battler's way of treating women is compared to Rudolf yet again. It's obvious his disregard for women's feelings comes from him, and him finally apologizing to Beatrice and seeing the truth is him doing something Rudolf never learned to fix on himself.

Sayo agonizes some more about how this is a trial, she will persevere, knowing deep inside that it's less and less likely. It is so much crueler to leave her hanging than to say anything to confirm or deny his memories... being stuck means that every time you see the obvious truth it feels like she's betraying Battler because there's no actual proof of anything, just her changing perception of him.... As soon as she gets some resolve that Battler's gone... there's confirmation that things are claiming down between Battler and Rudolf, a new cruel hope. And that hope is immediately replaced with cruel reality, man, he even wrote to Maria and he can't even bother to remember the person he exchanged stories and books and promises with constantly....

It's extremely hurtful to your soul to feel like this.... when you know how someone deeply hurt you and you want any sort of closure but.... that person didn't even consider hurting you anything special on their life so to them it's like asking them what they ate for breakfast a year ago.

The voice acting here fuck......

Sayo eventually creates Kanon to cope with her crippling loneliness and disappointment and realizing that Battler didn't really gaf and hid her love for Battler inside 'Beatrice'. Also, Sayo got prettyyyy lucky that Battler's ideal woman is already vaguely like Beatrice anyways.

Kiznzo and Genji hang the epitaph, Kumasawa and Genji start goading Sayo into solving it....

If you think about it, just the fact that you physically have to go to the island to test your solution immediately slants the answer to certain people. Sayo can make a wrong guess and check more or less every day, but if anyone else makes a wrong guess they can check like... thrice a year?

"If I hand you Beatrice, will you violate her again" asks Genji, who will then hand him Beatrice again because he cried enough about it, I guess.

Anyways I am crying again god I hate you Kinzo I hate you Genji let this poor girl live her own fucking life. It's kind of interesting Sayo doesn't seem to name her creations.... Beatrice, Shannon, Kanon had names due to circumstance but Ronove, Virgilia and Gaap weren't named until Maria gave them names. Guess that's her weakness as a writer!

Sayo and Maria treasure their time with each other of course, they have a lot of fun together but.... Maria can't really fulfill all of Sayo's emotional needs, nor vice versa.

Genji starts by dropping the hint about Taiwan, we get a step-by-step breakdown of how to solve the riddle.... you can tell it was a tremendous amount of effort even with the hints. Must have made the fact it was a pre-ordained fate to please the person that ruined your life hurt that much more.... Weird, creepy, and erasing of Sayo's own personhood to ask this of her.... You changed her name, you changed her family, you changed her age, and now you are having her swap into someone else for the eyes of Kinzo....

The coronation scene is very unsettling... the focus is entirely on Kinzo "earning" forgiveness for someone who isn't even clear on what he did.... Sayo realizes everyone around her has been lying to her about her identity her entire life. They start calling her Lion which is ANOTHER name she has no connection to that was forced on her, and Kinzo forces her to call her father and she feels clearly unsettled by this. What right do you have to determine that, Genji? He admitted none of his sins and merely asked for forgiveness to someone without even telling them what he did.

Sayo doesn't really want to be the head or ruin Krauss etc's life.... and her life starts going on a downward spiral as she starts realizing the truth of her heritage, her body, her relations to her lovers, and everything in a moment she was already vulnerable.

No one wants to be a witch.... living in the edges of reality to cope with how harsh reality is.

George stepping out would have broken the game.... Jessica checking on Kanon would have broken the game as well. The choice of people who can break the game is interesting.... seems like she was in a way testing them.

Thinking of that locked room just makes me sad....

The obvious culprit - so that was definitely Eva.... I guess Sayo only did the first four and Nanjo.

....

Lion haha.... Sayo would be so happy to hear that.

This whole ending ceremony feels very.... disconcerting once you know what's about to happen. But Sayo is not nearly or uniquely the only problem of the Ushiromiya family... understanding just her won't lead you to understand all of 1986.

#umineko #umiepisode7

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kurisus · 2 years

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Chapter 101-2 thoughts

A bit late with this since I've had plans the past few days! (In a shocking turn of events, I daylight as a functioning adult.) Let's get this show on the road~

I said last month no way was it going to be as simple as Take destroys the sorcerer's grave and ends it all, but my speculations as to how were wrong (? haven't ruled out a booby trap quite yet). Instead, it looks like he will live as long as the people on this island worship him, so Take and Ebisu will have to find another way. Rather than killing, perhaps they can cut his ties with these people. However, Yato is the only character we've seen to cut ties in the manga thus far (because he's the most skilled at it, idk if he's the only one who can). Plus, they're without their shinki.

There's also the matter of this island existing out of the normal realm of spacetime/whatever this is. If the humans forget what they're doing there, they're going to pretty quickly realize there's no way off--not without knowing the poem.

I'm not ready to talk about Hiyori quite yet but I do want to say I just really hope she and Yuka do hang out at Haru's grave sometime. But god. Another emotional scene at a cherry tree in this manga, huh?

Instead, I'm going to talk about how much I want to beat Father's ass. I really felt for Yato this chapter--not a whole lot happened, but you can see very clearly the fear and disgust in his face at trash dad's fake nice act, even before he thinks "I'm scared." In fact, his eyes on page 11 remind me a lot of his eyes when he first recognized Hagusa:

The face of "shit, dad, not AGAIN"

Trash dad being like "ohh my poor son :( how did we end up like this? :(" sir you lichrally set your ayakashi on him between chapters. What the hell are you talking about. Ah, the classic abusive parent dynamic of shifting the blame and pretending the problem is anything but yourself. This time with crocodile tears. I'll punch a hole in my laptop screen if it means I can end him idgaf.

Okay I guess I can't put it off any longer. Time to talk about Hiyori. There's been some strange panels with her recently, but I wasn't too concerned since she was staying in her body. Now, though...

Can we talk about how she so badly wanted Nora to see that her father is bad for her she put her life in danger? It harkens back to one of the first actions she takes in the whole manga--jumping in front of a bus to save a boy she doesn't know. Cinematic parallels. We gotta get this girl a self-preservation instinct.

It really doesn't make narrative sense to kill off Hiyori, as she's the POV character of the manga, and the only major human character as well. Rather, I'm worried (since we're in the final arc) something is going to happen where she's forced to cut ties with Yato, or lose her memories of him or something, before she reunites with him. So if they ever meet again, she wouldn't remember him. It's hard to explain my thought process, but I'm worried we're not going to get the trio reunion I was thinking was surely imminent for a couple pages there.

Rotating the thought of Yato's "We shall meet again" and they do meet, but the next time is after she's lost her memories of him. It's not a pleasant thought I don't know why I did this.

So for 102? I hope Nora decides to stay with Hiyori and look after her, and get her back in her body safely. But considering the last page depicting her body sprawled in front of the shrine, it's looking likely they're going to go back to the fight together, where Hiyori will be in even more danger with a ripped cord.

I really don't know what could happen, even though I figured Hiyori would leap out of her body at some point again. Gah, the way things come back up in this series is always so PAINFUL. I'm going to sleep now and think of this all night.

#Noragami #Noragami spoilers #Noragami manga #1 like = 1 punch to Father #with a reblog you get to pick where the punch lands #jk I don't have that power but I wish I did #live update

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zooophagous · 1 year

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The irony of being a nigh deathless, immortal being and still spending so much time trapped in a sick bed was not lost on Strauss. To be sure, there was a time he might be content to sleep endlessly and only awaken to tend to an empty belly. But now? With so much going on?

It was like pulling teeth. Two of which he'd lost- spitting his broken fangs into a bed pan and futilely digging at his gums with his claws trying to fish out the roots the way a man might struggle with a husk of a popcorn kernel. Despite the heavy impact, he hadn't broken his teeth immediately. That came from the bad habit of shifting the loose fangs back and forth with his tongue out of boredom until the stress fracture finally caved to pressure.

No matter. Fangs were deciduous. They would return, as would the shattered femur in his leg and the collapsed lung and the many broken ribs. But it would take time. Time he did not have, if Sylvain was planning on escalating.

His thoughts were momentarily far away from her. Morphine was a pleasant distraction, it was easy to see why so many humans became addicted to it. Even with a pain tolerance like carbon steel- it helped kill boredom by forcing sleep.

Which he did, until a heaviness settled on the edge of the bed. He opened his eyes to see Artemis looking down at him with her face knit in concern and her arms crossed.

"You know. If you prefer sleeping in the sick bay over the dorms, you can just ask."

He smiled weakly at her.

"Guten Abend, Frau Van Helsing."

He sat up with a grunt. "You and I have much to discuss."

"I'll say. I hear you were quite the hero last night. Saved Sam's life at your own expense. Saved him from a much stronger vampire, too. That's impressive. It was very brave of you."

"Someone had to." He shrugged. "I suppose you know then, that Sylvain has returned."

"Troy told me. He also mentioned something about you meeting her before?"

"Yes, she ah... introduced herself on one of our outings. I didn't want to tell you. I was afraid if she were antagonized, she might lash out." He glanced down at the drip IV in his arm.

"Seems I was correct. Your ex has quite a temper."

"She wasn't always like this." Artemis shook her head. "I wish you'd told me sooner. We could have had time to prepare. You also shouldn't have gone out if you knew she was around. This could have ended much worse for you. For everyone."

"I know. It seems our habits of hiding things from one another have done nobody any favors." He sighed.

"What did she want from you?"

"She wanted me to abandon the Institute and come with her. Says she wants to "help" me. For what purpose, I cannot say. I doubt she has my benefit in mind."

"Her thought process is chaotic. It could be a ploy for anything. I wish I knew." Artemis shook her head.

"While you're here... I want to address the obvious. Artemis. About the other night, when we were... together."

"Oh, that. Don't worry about that. That was a mistake, no need to bring it up now."

"But I do need to bring it up."

He sat up more to look her properly in the eye.

"I didn't... harm you, did I?" He reached his hand towards hers.

"I would never want to impose myself on you. I often misread social cues. I wanted to apologize."

"Strauss." She looked away.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I was more upset because of what I did wrong. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. It's just, well, I'm Catholic, you know? Guilt is what we do."

She chuckled nervously.

"What was so wrong about what you did?"

"I don't know. I spent so long studying and writing and containing vampires that going to bed with one felt like sort of a betrayal to the family mission, you know? Like not only was I committing a sin, I was jeopardizing the work of generations of other Van Helsings. It hit me all at once and I had a bit of a panic attack over it."

"Is that it? You are worried about judgment from the dead?"

"More from the rest of the Institute than the dead, at this point."

"I see. Consider this, however. Your family's work was based on the killing of many, many vampires. Your sin was based on loving one. If you wanted the vampire's opinion, I think you'd find it to be a welcome and necessary change in the status quo."

"You're right, you're right. But you can't always use reason to get rid of a problem based on feelings."

"This is true. If you find the courage, I should like to see you again. I still desire to reciprocate." He licked his lips.

"However. For now. There is another important request."

"Name it."

"I require more blood."

He stated it matter of factly.

"At least triple my current ration. As quickly as it can be arranged."

"More blood?" She smirked. "Honestly I was wondering when you'd ask. You eat like you're on a fast."

"I am surprised you didn't try to make me eat more."

"Whatever you were doing worked for over two hundred years. I trust you to know what you need and ask for it."

"Yes. I have come to realize that I am no longer served by my minimalist nature. If I am to survive the next encounter- and I trust there will be another encounter- I do not want to do so as an emaciated wraith."

"I'll put the order in immediately. With any luck it will get you out of my damn sick bay sooner."

"Give me as much as you can, and I will amaze you with what I can do."

She stood up to head for the door. "Good. I'm counting on it."

#wayward souls #writing

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catsidhesilvie · 11 months

Text

Cat-Trapped

FMiqoWol/Themis fluff, 6.2 spoilers. I wrote this while trapped under a cat because of course I did.

Wyra let out a heavy sigh as she sunk to the ground. Her back was pressed against a massive tree, the sun-soaked bark warming her skin pleasantly through the thin fabric of her robe.

While she generally preferred clothing that was less bulky in appearance, she had to admit that the ancients had found a way to make their staple fashion items comfortable. The robes, pants, and shoes seemed to be made of the highest-quality leather she had ever seen, resistant to staining and tough enough to prevent tearing – and yet they were somehow still lightweight and breathable.

As her thoughts began to meander, she mused how strange it was that, sitting under a blue-leafed tree on a floating island thousands of years in the past, it would be the magicks of the ancients’ clothing she found herself pondering. If she was honest to herself, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to think about the other things too hard. Having too much time to ponder the marvels of Elpis was likely to either leave her sad at the place's future destruction, or otherwise with a headache from trying to understand creation magicks beyond her ken.

Elpis itself was a wonder. While the facility had zones which put creations to the test in arid or frozen environments, Wyra had yet to see anything beyond beautiful, temperate weather in the greater sections. It was always akin to the nicest day of spring, with a cool breeze that wasn't too cold but also didn't allow those working there to overheat. Despite days spent fighting off various beastly creations and chasing around a bird girl who was a master of hide and seek, Wyra had never felt as though she needed to take a breather just to cool down.

That said, mental exhaustion as well as physical aches were enough to make her want to take the opportunity at hand to rest for a moment.

Wyra had come to Elpis this time to check in on Themis and Erichthonios to see how work towards restoring Pandaemonium had progressed, as well as to see if she could learn anything more about the beasts which awaited them in lower levels.

Pandemonium was… less pleasant than Elpis, if still a magical marvel. The air had been stagnant there, as though it, too, were fixed in stasis, alongside its many imprisoned creations. The temperature was generally uncomfortable, ranging from cold and damp when she fought the hippokampos to miserably hot when she faced the phoinix. Things had improved slightly on the first layer after her defeat of Hesperos, but the knowledge that the other levels were in equal disarray made her dread their inevitable descent. Wyra knew getting to the root of the issue was necessary to protect the ancient and future star, but it didn’t mean she had to enjoy fulfilling her duty every time.

Before checking in with Themis and Erichthonios in Pandaemonium itself, she had decided to journey to the buildings that the researchers lived and worked out of to see if she could locate any material about Pandaemonium herself. Luck was on her side, it seemed, as she shortly located someone who said that she believed she had some logs on the subject. Unfortunately, though, the researcher was in the middle of something or another involving a stack of paperwork which didn’t require the help of a “familiar,” as most people assumed Wyra was. She didn’t blame them, as her miqo’te features and comparatively thin aether were inconvenient to hide in a world where the mandatory dress code didn’t allow for hats and the individuals she worked with were particularly gifted in recognizing aetheric density. It was actually rather fortuitous that things aligned in a way that Wyra could claim to be Azem’s familiar – Azem was apparently eccentric enough that this explanation was plenty to buy Wyra leeway to make social faux pas in a world so different from hers in the future.

In this case, though, her deception had left her lowest on the researcher’s list of priorities. The woman had waved her off, telling her to return in an hour or so.

With no one else around looking like they needed help, for once, Wyra decided to summon her mount to carry her to one of the smaller floating islands nearby so that she could escape the other researchers’ curious gazes for a time.

She was used to being stared at – while being a miqo’te wasn’t hugely unusual in the modern era, she had done enough to become fairly famous in the news and tabloids, and she had a fairly distinctive style of dress that lent itself to being recognized. While most people tended to give her space if they recognized her as the Warrior of Light, she still struggled to deal with the constant feeling of being watched when in a crowd. Being stared at by researchers was quite worse, particularly researchers from an extinct world thousands of years in the past. She didn’t think they would raise a hand to the familiar of a member of their precious Convocation, but she could do without the constant stream of questions about how her aether looked about to fade away. She also wasn’t partial to the patronizing tone many took when speaking to her, though it was better than the demanding voice others used.

Ultimately, Wyra found herself sitting in the wildflowers under the blue tree, staring sleepily into the glittering sky. Other floating islands were scattered amongst the idyllic cloudscape, but they were distant enough she was certain that she was safely out of view of anyone else. With a last glance about, Wyra muffled a yawn with the back of her hand and then pulled her robe’s hood over her eyes. The thin fabric somehow blocked out light entirely, and she closed her eyes appreciatively.

Just for a few minutes. Then I’ll go back and check on those documents, then head down to see Themis and Erich.

Wyra’s eyes felt as though they’d been closed for just seconds before she was startled awake by the feeling of someone plopping down next to her.

“When I told you to take your time to rest for a while before returning to us, I did expect you to do it indoors… not that there is anything wrong with doing it here, I guess.”

Wyra bolted upright in an instant, scrambling to push her hood from her eyes.

Themis sat beside her with his back against the same tree, eyebrow raised and a small grin playing at the corner of his mouth.

"I think this island is being used exclusively to research some new flower concepts, so it is about as safe a place for a midday nap as any."

Wyra looked away sheepishly, her cheeks tinged red. “I was… designed to be crepuscular,” she explained, borrowing a term she had heard used by the scholars in Labyrinthos.

Perhaps it was due to her nature as the child of a Moon Keeper mother and Sun Seeker father, but she always tended to find herself most awake at dusk and dawn and then struggling to focus at midday and midnight. Her eyes, too, struggled with pure darkness or harsh light. With most other people she worked with keeping a day schedule, Wyra tended to try to do most of her work early in the morning and then after a quick midday nap. Most of the scions had noticed, and had long since stopped inviting her to lunch, which she appreciated. Amongst world-ending events like those of the present, though, she had found herself working through her tiredness more often than not.

It seemed like today she would have to, as well.

Themis tilted his head thoughtfully. “You are a fascinating falling star, indeed.” He smiled at the quirk in Wyra’s mouth before motioning to the book sitting to his side.

“Actually, it seems like we had the same idea. I went to speak to some of the researchers to see if I could find more about what other creatures might exist in Pandaemonium, only for one woman to say a violet-haired feline familiar had requested this but a bell earlier and not yet come to claim it.”

“Ugh, I must have actually fallen asleep, then…” Wyra buried her face in her hands, her tail wrapping around her tensely. While she could usually wake up quickly from her naps on her own, her pure exhaustion coupled with the comfortable temperature and darkness of the robe’s hood must have prevented her from sensing the change in time. Now she could clearly see that the sun had shifted its position above by at least a half-hour, and she had little hope she would have awoken anytime soon had Themis not disturbed her.

Themis chuckled quietly and put a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. “Fear not, my friend. She had only just finished the assignment that she had been working on when I arrived.” The tension in Wyra’s shoulders and tail eased slightly as he continued. “And in any case, it is good that you are actually resting. If what I skimmed in this thus far is any indication, you shall need to be at your fighting best to defeat what awaits us.”

Wyra glanced and saw that his teasing smile had turned to a gentle frown. She sat up straight again, stretching her spine and wincing before sighing.

She really hadn’t spent much time resting, in all actuality. Shortly after their last adventures in Elpis, she ended up traveling to the Void, meeting – and fighting – several members of the Twelve, and had spent some time training with her new friend Zero to improve her melee combat skills. Any free moment she had lately, she spent helping people in Thavnair or Garlemald, studying with Y’shtola, or helping Krile and G’raha do further research on the Twelve. She had most recently returned to Old Sharlayan after visiting Alphinaud and Alisaie, only to be immediately flagged down by Claudien��s assistant researchers of the Aetherial Sea. They had made some progress with the memory stone, apparently, but nothing worth showing her. Still, she thought it would be a good time to check in on the past, since there was nothing immediately requiring her attention elsewhere for the moment.

“Well, I’m glad that I didn’t leave her waiting too long, in any case.” Wyra smiled at Themis, trying to shake off her residual embarrassment at being caught asleep. “And I guess I am glad it was you who found me here as opposed to a frightening creation.” She frowned. “How did you know where to find me?”

Themis raised an eyebrow slightly. “By sensing your aether, of course. I may not be as skilled as the honorable Emet-Selch with soul sight, but I do recognize Azem’s aether well enough. I sensed that I would find her or you here, and either would be a pleasant surprise.”

Wyra fought to keep her ears from lowering at the mention of Azem. While the reason she was so similar to Azem was obvious to her, it was still uncomfortable to be reminded that something so uniquely hers as an aetheric signature belonged to someone else first. It also reminded her that Themis, too, likely believed that she was just Azem’s familiar – a creation to be judged, or one to be told to do the work none of the ancients wanted to do. Not that she didn’t always do the latter, regardless. It made her feel similar to how she had felt when talking to the Ascians – belittled, patronized, dehumanized, viewed as lesser. She wasn’t sure why it bothered her when she knew that Themis was the same man as the Elidibus of her future. Still, he and Erichthonios had been some of the only ancients to treat her as though she were a real person, so it was an annoying reminder that they probably didn’t believe it.

Themis’s expression was unreadable as he turned back to the book he had brought.

“I will admit, I had hoped you would return soon. I was beginning to worry that Erichthonios and I would need to proceed alone once we finally unraveled the wards on the gate to Abyssos.” His warm smile had returned, and Wyra tried to shrug off her internal turmoil.

“Do forgive my extended absence, other duties have kept me away. Full glad am I that it doesn’t seem I missed anything of grave importance,” she said, eyeing the book herself. It was a handwritten journal, and the page Themis had opened to had an illustration of the hippokampos she had already fought. She grimaced. That had most certainly not been her favorite fight. She could still bring to mind the nauseating smell of the filthy water that had been continually sprayed and splashed onto her before the creature was defeated.

Seeing her interest, Themis shifted himself closer, moving the journal to rest between them on his thigh. “I suppose you had sought this reading material before I did. It is only fair that I share.”

Still somewhat dazed by his initial proximity when she awoke, Wyra’s cheeks flushed slightly. Her tail rested on the grass between them, and she resisted the urge to tighten it against her own body to avoid touching his leg.

Would that I ever knew I would be within arm’s reach of Elidibus himself under friendly circumstances.

Wyra wasn’t particularly abhorrent to the idea of being in close proximity with others, regularly sitting this close to or even hugging the other scions after they became close friends. Themis, though, was still essentially a stranger – despite whatever the feeling in her stomach said. If they really had only known each other through shared duty for a few months, like her head argued, she had no reason to feel so comfortable around him. She had grown to trust him organically to a degree – clearly her prior incarnation had been especially close to him, and Azem’s friends in the time of Elpis had so far not led her wrong. In fact, her own track record was less pristine, if you considered her fondness toward Meteion and Hermes. If Themis had wanted to do her harm, there had been plenty of opportunity while they fought their way through Asphodelos. The way he had talked to Erichthonios when the warder had been freed from his frenzy also demonstrated his friendliness and genuine dedication to the duty of protecting the star. Not that she had ever doubted the latter – the future Elidibus was nothing if not loyal to his perceived duty. It was fortunate indeed that they found themselves on the same side of that duty this time.

Unaware of her internal musings, Themis looked to her expectantly, lifting the edge of the page.

Wyra blinked, then nodded. She hadn’t read a word of it, but was sure that whatever he had would be enough to help them if there was anything of value. Judging by his expression, there wasn’t anything overly revealing on page one.

Themis turned to the next page, and Wyra bit her lip apprehensively. She really couldn’t read the researcher’s excited scrawl from that angle. Despite napping for longer than she had intended, her eyes were still dry and her mind slightly fogged. Curse this beautiful place. She breathed out quietly and blinked a few more times, only improving things slightly. It didn’t help that the side her companion had joined her from was the same side as her damaged eye. While her vision had improved enough over the years that she could once again wield a bow with practiced accuracy, it did struggle when she was already strained and at a weird angle.

Pushing the awkwardness from her mind, she broke the silence.

“I have to readjust, sorry…” Themis nodded confusedly and leaned away with his book, watching as Wyra leaned forward, shifting her tail behind her to rest alongside her other leg. A hint of understanding and mild amusement crossed his face as she settled back down a few inches closer and busied herself by smoothing her tail. He placidly shifted himself to make up the remaining few inches of distance, lowering the book back down to their laps once their hips and shoulders were touching.

Wyra’s face felt like it was on fire, but it was admittedly much easier to read the inelegant handwriting within the journal this way. Fortunately, it seemed that Themis was busy actually reading, or else graciously didn’t choose that opportunity to tease her.

Shifting her focus to said journal, Wyra skimmed quickly to ensure that he wasn’t left waiting. The journal was clearly written by a researcher of high authority in Elpis who oversaw water-based creations such as the hippokampos. This particular entry discussed the decision they had made to send the beast to Pandaemonium after it had flooded an entire research facility. It went on to discuss the process required to have a creation interred within Pandaemonium, which seemed to amount to unending stacks of paperwork.

As Themis flipped through the pages at an easy pace, Wyra found her eyes blinking slower than usual; more than once, she hadn’t actually absorbed anything from the second half of the page before her companion lifted the corner and paused quizzically. The warmth she could feel from his arm and leg against hers, even through their robes, had shifted from unnerving to comforting, and the sleepiness that had caused her to nod off before had returned. I really must have overdone it, lately, she mused.

A low half-chuckle escaped Themis’s breath, and she distantly wondered if what she was supposed to be reading had been humorous. She couldn’t really remember the latest section.

“You know, this is how Azem and I spent many an evening when she joined the convocation. We were both quite young at the time, and I believe Mistress Venat surprised her when she decided to vacate the seat of Azem.”

Wyra’s ears perked up a bit, and she tilted her head to peer at Themis’s expression. He was still staring at the book, and turned the page. She guiltily noted that he didn’t bother to ask her if she had finished it yet this time. She looked at the next page, seeing the illustration of a monstrous beast with shark-like teeth and a serrated fin that the author had noted as “knife-like.”

“Azem spent day and night for weeks after Venat’s announcement, studying the Convocation’s guidelines and rules, to ensure that she knew them forwards and backwards. Not that she follows them strictly, mind you,” he chuckled again. “No, when prompted, she says that she learned them so that she could memorize the loopholes, or at least would know what to expect when she broke them.” He smiled fondly at the page. “And that, she does, without hesitation or remorse. Arguably, things often turn out better that way in most situations. She has quite the refreshing perspective.”

Wyra mustered an affirmative “hmm” as Themis turned another page. The words were scrawled almost illegibly as the author was describing yet another iteration of monster-shark with great excitement. Her companion’s low voice and warmth were enough to cause her mind to drift further.

“We both have duties that keep us apart the majority of the time, but she is always sure to send me letters of her adventures, and I keep her up-to-date with the decisions made in the meetings she misses.”

He paused thoughtfully, glancing at the miqo’te girl who was now leaning more of her weight against his shoulder than before. His eyes narrowed mirthfully as he saw her eyes half-lidded and her ears drooping backwards. Her tail, which had been rigid against her side after she repositioned, curled across her lap like a blanket. Long strands of violet hair fell over her shoulders messily, having been disturbed from their usual waves by the hood she had worn when he first found her. The gentle breeze had caused some to blow across her cheek and his shoulder, but she didn’t seem to care, or maybe she wasn’t aware. He couldn’t help but notice that it was not only violet in color, but also smelled lightly of the flower.

“Azem does always say that knowing when to rest is a great boon, for one who travels and relies upon her own body for so much. Working oneself to exhaustion is not like to win more fights cleanly than if one took an extra few bells before jumping into duty.”

Wyra didn’t respond, but her head slumped forward slightly. Asleep again.

Themis laughed quietly and brushed the hair that had fallen into her face back lightly, his finger touching the scar across her cheek. Where had she earned it, he wondered, and why had it healed with such a mark, when she was so skilled with magic? Clearly she had faced many a foe before coming to Elpis, but she had offered no story other than the bold lie that she was Azem’s familiar. Knowing that to be false instantly thanks to a prior discussion with Azem herself, Themis still avoided asking for fear that Wyra would recoil. Azem had been entertained endlessly by the stories of her “familiar” running about in Elpis with Hythlodaeus, Emet-Selch, and Venat, and made no move to correct anyone. If she claims to be mine and is helpful, then whyever would I mind? She had responded when Themis thought to ask. All the better that she caused any annoyance to Emet.

In his limited time with Wyra thus far, he couldn’t help but agree. While Wyra was quite different than Azem in some ways – she was quieter and less confident, for one, and had a tail, for another – it was clear they must be related. Maybe she’s my great-great grandchild!! Azem had been particularly tickled by that idea, though Themis had doubts. Azem having children was something Themis placed particularly low on his list of predictions for the future. He couldn’t imagine her slowing down long enough to raise one, though he had been wrong about her capabilities in the past. He had begun to wonder who the father would be before cutting his line of thought abruptly.

No, Themis thought, it was far more likely that Wyra was a reincarnation of Azem, in some shape. Now that he was close enough to look at her clearly, his soul sight made it obvious that, despite lacking a fair portion of it, Wyra’s intrinsic aether was purely Azem’s, with no one else’s tinging the color to suggest Wyra was her traditional descendant.

What would change the world so severely that his dear friend would be reborn with furry ears, he wasn’t sure, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

He also hadn’t the faintest idea why she would appear then in Elpis, though she had yielded the fact that she was aware of Pandaemonium and had a memory crystal warning of danger surrounding the place. Perhaps she, too, held a role that led her to travel and solve problems for others. Why should this travel be restricted to space and not time?

Wyra sighed in her sleep, leaning further onto him so that his arm was effectively pinned. Holding his own breath, Themis pulled his shoulder back slightly, unsurprised when the girl’s weight shifted and she slumped forward harder at what looked to be an uncomfortable angle. Putting the journal to the side, he braced his free hand against her shoulder gently as he pulled his trapped arm fully free.

“Mhhm…” she mumbled, rolling slightly on her hip towards him. Her tail twitched slightly. Frozen momentarily, he then gently lowered the arm holding her shoulders up, and she responded by curling up with her head in his lap. Her tail promptly curled across her and his legs.

Not what he had intended, but perhaps not the worst thing that could happen, he mused. She quieted in her sleep again, clearly needing the rest, and the only sound left was of her slow breathing and that of the wind through the azure branches above.

Themis smiled. For how long had he wished to do something like this with Azem again? To spend time alone, and relax.

Their duties would never allow it, of course; he was as committed to his as she, hers, and hers required her to travel the star for months at a time while his required him to stay in Amaurot almost always, present circumstances aside. She often would reappear in the city for one day, invite him to help her on an adventure, and they would spend the time inseparable. Then, she would be gone the next day. Her melodious voice would be traded for a scribbly script on letters delivered by one of her flying creations.

He didn’t mind this format of relationship, though he would have liked to go with her more often, if he had the option. Their care for one another was unspoken, but he trusted in it fully. He did find himself alone far more nights than he spent with her, but it gave him more time to focus on his duties as Elidibus and helped him to try to think impartially when Azem herself drew the Convocation's ire. Still, on some of those nights, he found himself daydreaming of how things would be when they both had completed their callings, and could be free from obligation. He fantasized of the possibility of them both returning to the star together, someday in the infinitesimally distant future, so that they could rest in the underworld together before beginning a new adventure in the next life.

Such youthful, romantic fantasies were not for the Emissary at present, though; unbeholden to anyone regarding personal matters, Azem never bothered to deny anyone who assumed they were a couple, but neither did she claim him as more than her dearest friend, nor ask that he not court another. In fact, she had nearly encouraged it herself through her letters to him, poorly illustrating disgustingly cute or even teasingly obscene scenes of him with other people she had befriended through her travels. He was bemused by these letters, of course; he had perhaps less free time than she due to his role on the Convocation, and never yet had interest in another. He was committed to his duty over all else. He did wonder at times, though, if she acted so because she was equally duty-bound, if she had foreseen him with another, or if it was that she truly did value freedom over any kind of binding.

He hesitated a moment before brushing his fingers gently across Wyra’s forehead and ear, moving another loose strand of hair that the wind had dislodged. He reveled in the fact that he had at least been able to quench the curiosity he harbored concerning the softness of her fur.

She sighed lightly at his touch and nuzzled closer, her fingers loosely gripping the fabric of his robe. His hand stroked her hair more confidently this time, and he had to suppress a laugh when he felt a gentle vibration from her weight on his lap. Purring.

Wyra may indeed be somehow related to Azem, he thought, but he doubted that he would ever see the latter bind him in such a way as to make him feel guilty at the very thought of moving.

Themis’s eyes widened suddenly as a thought crossed his mind. Maybe that is why she would incarnate as a cat…

“What a strange guiding star you are,” he whispered, to no reaction. His left hand continued to pet her as he grabbed the journal up again with his right. “Well, then, I guess this is what we shall do until I glean from the book whatever it may have to offer.”

Wyra’s consciousness returned slowly as the sun began to set. The warm, golden light shone under the tree’s branches onto her face, causing her to stir, and she moved an arm to cover her eyes. Her tail stretched behind her as she tensed her spine, her fingers gripping the fabric in her hands tighter as the stretch reached all the way up to her ears.

“Ah, good evening, my friend…”

Wyra’s body flew backwards with enough force that it startled the book out of Themis’s hand. His other hand was still in the air above where it had rested on her head. His robe was wrinkled where her fingers had gripped it, though she was certain the marks would disappear instantly once he stood.

Her face turned as red as a tomato before she ducked it apologetically, and her bushy tail lashed behind her.

“I’m so, so, so sorry!!” Her carefully glamoured fingernails dug desperately into the dirt as she bowed forward on her knees. “That was horrendously rude of me and I promise it will never happen again!!”

Themis smiled diplomatically and shook his head. “Worry not, my friend. I believe you may have already been asleep at that point, but I did tell you that you should get some rest before we descend. I cannot say I expected to be your pillow, but it was not a negative experience.”

Wyra’s blush continued to burn, but she rose back up to her knees and then sat back, her arms placed rigidly in her lap. She struggled with a response before settling on one she thought would be most appropriate.

“Ah, well, thank you, then. I do feel quite a lot better…”

She cleared her throat nervously before motioning to the book, which was still where it had landed when Wyra startled awake. “As you might imagine, I think I missed… all of… the journal,” she grimaced, the fading pink of her blush intensifying again momentarily. “Was there aught of value within?”

Themis frowned for a moment before nodding. “Ah, yes, but only in how some of the spells to capture them were cast. It should improve my rate of success in interring those creations you run into going forward. It was certainly worth the time it took to read it, and I only just finished before you woke up,” he lied cheerfully.

In my house, we have a rule that if anyone asks you to do something, but there is a cat on your lap, you are allowed to claim "cat exemption" and be free from whatever is asked.

Being a kitty fosterer, we get away with not doing a lot ahaha

#themiswol #wyra #my fiction #cringe but cute #fluff #wolthemis #wolship #wolshipping #pandaemonium #What do you expect when you force a cat to use a sword all day #also shhhh I accidentally did the gpose with her sitting on the wrong side and now I can't unsee it aaagh #wyra/themis #Azem/Elidibus is an adorable noncommittal ace couple in my story #Azem being a bad artist who does fanart of friends is hilarious to me because I had a friend in middle school who did that

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dementiastrange · 1 year

Text

First Encounter

-Eddie Gluskin x Dementia Grimm (my 'sona)- First time writing a fic, so I hope it wasn't too bad^^'' ----------------------------- "Oh I want a girl, just like the girl that married dear old dad. She was a pearl and the only girl, that daddy ever had~"

Such spirited singing woke Dementia from her slumber, it had been so long since she heard anyone in the same level where her locked room was. Occasionally screams and running, but someone singing, having a coherent thought? It was new. She got up from her bed and weakly stumbled closer to the door, sitting next to the slot people used to push her meals through. Whoever was singing, their voice was pleasant, even beautiful in it's own way. She sat there, listening to it, almost hypnotized until the singing stopped. Disappointed, she tried to peek through the slot in the door, only to see a man at the end of the hallway, talking to himself.

"It's so hard to find a good woman these days huh? I try and try and they all want to leave me…" The man said, frustrated, a mad tinge in his voice.

Well, to Dementia, madness made sense, this was a place where they locked mad people up after all… Mad or people who were just different, in her case. She kept looking at the man, wishing he'd sing more, only to see him almost starting to make his way back, away from her level.

"H-hello! Please don't leave!" She wasn't even sure herself why she suddenly called out to him, the words left her mouth before she could even think…

The man turned around the instant he heard her, making his way to the end of the hallway, his form tall and intimidating.

"Such a delicate voice I hear! Darling, were you hiding from me?" The man's charming voice asked, before Dementia saw the door shake just a little, meaning he tried to open it rather roughly.

"Locked? LOCKED? Did you lock yourself there so I can't get in? Do I disgust you that much?" His voice demanded answers, sounding angry, betrayed. Normal people would have been terrified, but Dementia was already numb to most emotions, to her his anger was not that bad, just a misunderstanding. She coughed and tried to answer, clearly not used to talking so her fragile voice had a slight rasp to it.

"I didn't lock myself here… I'm trapped here."

Her explantion seemed to calm the man down instantly, he even stopped trying to force the door open.

"Trapped? Did those filthy jack-booted fucks trap you in there dearest? How awful, how pitiful… Worry not darling, I'll free you in no time." His voice was back to being charming again, even humming as he studied the locks on the door. His confidence lit the tiniest flame of hope inside Dementia, she would do anything if it meant getting out of her room, out of this horrible place.

"Y-you can open the locks? Really?" She asked, needing more words of confirmation from him, not even caring how overly familiar he sounded, or how he kept calling her 'darling'.

"Of course I can! This is like Prince Charming saving a princess from a tower, what a perfect start to our lovestory, don't you think darling? Oh I can see others being so envious of such a passionate start of our love…" The man rambled, taking out some sewing needles, bobby pins and safety pins, checking each of them out before starting his work on the door.

"So this man has decided that he's in love with me… How unusual…" Dementia thought to herself, leaning against the door. The thought of such a person helping her didn't annoy her, for her freedom, she can try and be whatever that man wanted her to be.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a soft chuckle from the other side of the door.

"Seeing this predicament, it's like you've been made a gift for me. A delicacy to be unwrapped and… Unwrapped again. And savored…." His voice turned intense towards the end of his sentence, even slightly lustful, it was so obvious the man himself coughed a few times before continuing.

"Oh my, pardon me darling, I didn't mean to be vulgar already, but well… You know how a man gets when he's in love and all, don't you?"

Dementia was silent, trying to think of an answer to his question. She actually had never been in love, nor had she seen men in love… She had seen some of the doctors and nurses looking at her, but the lust in their eyes was primal, just a need to use her and discard her. The man behind the door though, he did not seem similar, speaking so much of love, working to free her, it was very different.

"… I actually do not know. No one's ever loved me, nor have I ever been in love before…" She quietly answered, causing the man to stop his work for a moment.

"… Darling… I had no idea I'm your first love! Oh this is beyond my wildest dreams! Do not worry darling, I'll always treasure you and teach you all about love~" He exclaimed with joy, continuing his work with the lock with even more vigor.

His excitement was kinda… Cute. At least that's how Dementia saw it as she listened to the sounds of him working and humming.

"… What's your name, mister?" She asked, genuinely curious now.

"You don't know my… Oh, oh I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I? Eddie you doofus! I swear, I'd forgot my own head if it wasn't screwed on." He said, chuckling at his own forgetfulness and then he was stunned, for Dementia giggled at his sillyness. Her laughter was like the ringing of the most delicate bells, tickling something in his heart.

"… Eddie, my name is Eddie Gluskin, my dear." He introduced himself after getting a hold of himself.

It had been a while since Dementia had laughed at anything, so she ended up coughing a little before reciprocating his introductions.

"Hi Eddie, I'm Dementia. Dementia Grimm… Sorry for giggling, you were just a little silly.."

"As long as you like me being silly, there is nothing to apologize for darling." Eddie said, not mad at all, how could he be mad at hearing such a soft and feminine giggle. It was perfect for him, someone with a voice like that, couldn't possibly be ugly, maybe she didn't even need 'fixing'…

"What a unique name you have darling, but well, it only makes sense for my bride to be one of a kind, doesn't it? Oh I will make you so happy…"

As Eddie continued to ramble, Dementia kept patiently listening, wondering about the world outside her room, and what would happen when the door finally opened? Considering how everyone there was a patient, maybe this man was dangerous too… Well, there was no maybe, he deffinitely was, but for some reason she wasn't scared, she was even looking forward to seeing this man's face. To seeing Eddie's face…

------------------------------------

#eddie gluskin #dementias art #outlast whistleblower #outlast

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purpleprey · 4 days

Text

Chapter 16: Death of the One-Toed Ferret

Our steaks were brought to us in record time. Steel Tribunal was kind enough to bring them to us himself. Though I would’ve considered a greater kindness if he'd let someone more attractive do it. We were trying to eat after all. I averted my eyes from his face as best as I could. I made eye contact with Venus as he was doing the same. I smiled lovingly and he smiled back. I kicked my feet giddily under the table, I was just so darn happy with my new life!! My foot collided repeatedly with something under the table. I assumed it was a table leg, or perhaps, if my luck had not run dry, Cosmic's denimed leg.

I swung my body down to look under the table as a feel of unease had begun to stir within me. I wasn't quite sure what I was looking at! under the table was the battered body of something that looked almost like a ferret, though it was much too stubby. I took its limp wet form by the tail with my thumb and forefinger. I pulled it out from under the table. I tried to examine this hideous rag further, but then a holler erupted through the trap music.

Steel Tribunal hoisted me into the air by the makeshift collar of my big red dress.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!" he cried. To say he was an ugly crier was an understatement.

"BACK OFF ME OR WE'LL MARRY YOUR GIRL!!!" I tried to struggle free. He didn’t like that. Not one bit. He whipped his arm around, throwing me across the saloon at violent speeds. I hit the wall with a wet crack. For a moment I was confused at the sound, before I realised that I had been impaled upon the antlers of the deer head mounted on the saloon wall.

"How could you do this?" Steel had fallen to his knees in anguish. "Do you have any idea who you just mangled? That was Tight Eyez, the most favoured and prized of my ferrets! He was the oldest of them all, the first ferret I ever owned! He was two weeks away from his 50th birthday! You will pay for this, Obsidian Leviathan."

Steel began stomping his feet, his chest waz popping, and his arms were swinging every which way. I felt fear coursing through my veins. I knew what was happening. I considered trying to get help from my companions but I decided against it. I needed to show Venus that I was someone he could rely on when krump came a-calling. Even still, I knew what was coming would not be pleasant.

We were about to engage in a good ol' fashioned krump battle. I needed to get down from these antlers. There would be no way for me to stomp from up here. I popped and popped my chest, dislodging myself, being careful not to move my shoulders too much (a HUGE krumping no-no). I burst out, just before I hit the ground with my most rugged buck stomp, I clasped both hands together and swung at Steel Tribunal, taking his hideous head clean off.

Whilst i was still descending, I imagined a rugged mean buck stomp would be inappropriate after a lethal killing move. I needed to downplay this. make it look like an accident.

I landed purposefully sprawled on the floor beside the dismembered ghoulish head. I keeled in false agony as everyone gasped and screamed and retched.

"wh-what happened!? I don't know what happened!!!!" I wept, faking my naivety. I know exactly what I did. With scarcely even a taunt, I finished him. I got him off.

I travelled over to where my friends were still seated at their table, eating their steaks though with much less enthused expressions than the ones they held before. I sat back down to finish my own meal, already planning out my fable on the off chance that someone was unsure of my innocence. I munched away to the sounds of horrified and disgusted screams (his face did not look any better post mortem). As I did though, Elly leaned over to me and whispered, "Obsidian, I've known you for our whole lives. You NEVER make mistakes like that during a spiritual round. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea for you to kill him off like that."

"Maybe he should have just gone back to the laboratory." I scoffed.

Once we had finished our food, we decided it would be best for us to just leave. Cosmic suggested that we get some cereal to eat but such an insult as that could only be answered with a swift and strong slap to the face. It left my hand bloodied and bruised and broken but I knew that I had made my point, even if Cosmic's face looked untouched. If I had let that one slide, he might have suggested we go home and go to sleep next.

I took Venus' hand and began to leave, but his grip was weak and flaccid. I turned to look at him, my eyes wet and glistening in a beautiful way so I could be sure I wasn't the problem. He was in some kind of intense thought zone. He had a stern look about him, his brow furrowed intensely above his unfocused eyes. As we exited the saloon I gently reached up my hand and manually and forcibly smoothed his brow, terrified at the prospect of wrinkles. This snapped him out of his trance but not his perturbed expression. He let go of my hand in favour of rubbing his chin and his temple.

"Is something wrong?" I chanced a query.

"Remains to be seen…" he muttered, gazing into the distance.

"Did… Did I do something!?" I almost whimpered. But I didn't, luckily. I screamed. Venus' head snapped up to look at me, his expression shifted to a softer one.

"No! it is not like that, Obsidian. You have been great through all of this. Really," he gazed off thoughtfully again while I blushed and squirmed. "It is just… this Steel Tribunal business…"

"About his death?" I began once I scraped myself off the floor. "Did his accidental death upset you? I didn't think you guys were close like that since from where I was standing he was like,,,, your opposite! Y'know, in love with Severus, hateful of me and foul, grim, and repugnant to look at!"

"I know, I know," Venus sighed, "it is not that. This whole ordeal with the Sinuouses has been very tough on me."

I nodded sagely. "Almost being married off to some chick when you're in love with someone as irreplaceable as me must've been fucking exhausting."

We finally made it out of the saloon and were back in the desert once more. This felt like a new beginning. I heard sirens in the distance.

"So!" I shouted. "Where are we off to now? Someone answer me quickly. We urgently must be off now!"

Cosmic hailed a cab. Where it came from, I don't know. It certainly was not on the road before Cosmic demanded its services.

"Get in guys!" He chirped happily like a stupid little bird or something. "I know where we can go!"

We all clambered as Cosmic spoke to the driver but I wasn't listening. I reflected on how we have all come such a long way in our relationships with one another but I still don't care much for that ginger freak. But Venus and I have come miles :). Me and Elly have um?

My thoughts were interrupted excruciatingly slowly when I realised we had completed a 7 hour road trip while I was lost in my many many thoughts. We had pulled up alongside a long winding dirt path that stretched on into the countryside.

"This thing doesn't offroad" the cab driver informed us bluntly, tapping the wheel to let me know he was talking about the cab when he said this thing. so I guess the cab does not fare well driving off road on account of the tyres and suspension I suppose. He paid us the fare and we left.

We followed as Cosmic walked with purpose towards a cornfield. I rolled my eye?, not excited to have to follow this leader anywhere. We pushed into the corn. It was so tall, taller than Venus even. It seemed like it'd be so easy to get lost in here.

And it was. In under three minutes, I was all alone. To this day, I can not explain what happened in there. I had been holding Venus' hand. For a minute, it felt like I still was, until I realised it wasn't his hand at all!

This hand was cold and clammy and scrawny. Ew. I stood frozen, scared to death of looking down and finding out who this hand belonged to. Tears streamed down my face in buckets. I swallowed and gathered all my strength. I slowly forced my head to move inch by inch until I was staring into the crimson eyes of a beast. I mean, it was a person in some sense. But there was not an ounce of humanity present in its eyes.

"Hello." I said. The being blinked at me, one eye at a time. I shuddered. I needed to act.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK!" I screamed, using my other hand to jab it in the eyes, one eye at a time. It didn't react. I tore my arm from its grip and ran off deeper into the corn. I could hear it chasing after me. but the curse of the corn got us first. I was lost and alone once more. I shucked a corn into a makeshift spear. As I trudged along, I passed by corn, corn, a whispering stone and more corn. there were just no clues!!!!! Soon, it was night and a blanket of stars was over my head. Soon after that, it began to rain, waterboarding me through the thick blanket. I struggled trying to tear it off my head. CIA officers who have subjected themselves to waterboarding have only lasted 14 seconds before refusing to continue. In previous situations, I had lasted even less than that. how long would I have left??

The tenth second passed and I knew it was now or never. I opened my mouth wide and drew the corn-spear above my head. With only one second remaining, I thrust the spear down through the blanket and into my gaping maw. My decades of sword-swallowing training was of great use in that moment. I tore off the rest of the blanket in a haste, tearing it to sopping shreds, and regurgitated the spear. Sitting in front of me was that little freak again, staring at me with morbid curiosity. He walked over to me and grabbed my hand gently, pulling me in the direction of a light. I let it lead, something about its empathetic, loving hold on my mitt made my general distrusting nature falter.

“Wh… what’s your name?” I asked as we skittered softly through the corn.

Its throat rattled and gargled as it tried to form a word. I strained my ear to hear in fear.

“Rrrobbing “succa” wanggg” it croaked. I furrowed my brow pensively. That’s basically like calling it ‘John Doe’ but like, modern, by the way. How sad :(. I lowered my head sorrowfully and did not speak for the rest of the walk. We finally entered a clearing, filled with many tents, with a little freak show alley off to the side. I guess that explains where this “Succa Wang” guy was from.

There was elegant, melancholic music playing as we looked under the big top and saw the clowns. But they weren’t the only thing we peeped. All eyes on Cosmic in the centre of the ring, just like a circus. In one hand he held a 15 million kilogram weight over his head. On the other hand, he held a chair which he was using to fend off a lion. He was showing us what he could do. Everyone in the audience had let go and was making a dance floor. Just like a circus! I searched the crowd for familiar faces but saw none. The crowd was beginning to trip with excitement over Cosmic’s daring act. Wow, the atmosphere here was crazy. I could feel the adrenaline movin’ through my veins. The hysterical attention I so craved was trained on COSMIC!! I had to do something, and FAST!! But I wasn’t nearly fast enough because Cosmic, dressed in a sequinned overall with no shirt underneath, took a deep bow and strode off the stage, waving at the audience as he went.

I roared and charged down towards the ring desperate for my fifteen seconds but before I could make it, someone familiar dropped into the ring. It was Elly. The crowd cheered loudly and for a long time. Elly then proceeded to do a full trapeze act. It was graceful and elegant and so perfect that it made me burst into tears. When it was over, I ran over to Elly as she exited the stage. She looked a bit too happy to see me.

“Obsidian! I’m so glad you’re finally here. What took you so long?”

“Oh, it was terrible. I was pursued and waterboarded. It was traumatising. But enough about me, what about you guys? You ran off and joined the circus! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m like the ringleader, I call the shots” she explained.

“Call the shots.” I repeated wondrously.

“I’m like a firecracker, I make it hot when I put on a show.”

I rolled my eyes. I had more important things to discuss.

“Where is my Venus Crypt?” I queried. Elly’s eyes widened. She snapped her fingers and Succa Wang reappeared at my side.

“This way, sire.” Succa led me outside the big top and over to the freak show alley.

#purple prey #authorblr #author #book recs #book recommendations #bookblr #crime of passion #original story #representation #queer lit #obsidian leviathan #elysium forging #cosmic tomorrow #venus crypt

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dianalolihikki · 2 months

Text

Hey!💜

I don't know if today's post will be as long and as well written as the previous posts. Why? Well, I hardly slept at all. I fell asleep somewhere at four in the morning.

Why? All because of my stupid younger brother.

The retard got drunk. (Don't worry, he's an adult,he'll be 22 this year.) Admittedly, he doesn't drink often, but when he does, he always fucks something up.

He is usually funny when he gets drunk (at least in his own eyes)

It was like this last night somewhere until 2am. He was sitting in our mother's room talking something to his parents and they were fed up with him. Eventually his girlfriend dragged him to his room. There they argued quite loudly,so loud that even having music on full blast on headphones I could hear everything. I won't say what it was about,because it was their private business. The whole argument ended with the idiot break the glass in his door (if you're from Eastern Europe, I'm sure you know what kind of door I mean) The idiot ended up with a deep cut wound in one of his fingers. Our Mom and his girlfriend dressed his wound with this, and then cleaned up the glass.

After the whole incident both my brother and his girlfriend came to me telling me not to worry. But I wasn't worried. I was more annoyed by the lack of sleep. By the way, I told the whole situation to some stranger in an Internet chat room.

This afternoon my brother and his girlfriend went to the ED to have the wound stitched up. However, the doctors said that it was too late to stitch it up,as it had been six hours since the wound was created.

💮💮💮💮

Today I was out for a walk with B. Unfortunately, we didn't go on it immediately after she came, although we tried.

My dog really wanted to go with us. Unfortunately when we locked him on the terrace he quickly ran after us through the open door on the other side of the house. B tried to lure him onto the terrace or whatever into the house, but my dog is not stupid. He always found a way to get out of the trap.

I was very angry, I even shouted that I didn't want to go for any walk, that is, my frequent mood changes made themselves known again. It was when I was sitting on the stairs, yes, the same ones from which I fell on Wednesday.

In the end, however, we gave up and went for a walk in the company of the dog.

Don't get me wrong - I love my dog, but he has a silly habit of running after cars, bikes, tractors. People don't like it. A post about my dog appeared on a local Facebook group. They criticized my dog a lot.

On the walk nothing special happened we talked about the girl who is hitting on husband B, about E, about my future physical therapy with K. Generally nothing new. We enjoyed the weather,as it is supposed to be cold and rainy until the end of April. The walk was short, but pleasant

We passed the neighborhood girls, said hello. When we were already on the terrace with B,we noticed that a strange, large dog was hanging around on the road. Mom says it's just a dog, so it can't do any harm. Sometimes I really don't understand my own mother.

💮💮💮💮

If we're already talking about not understanding my mother.

Today my mother was supposed to call for that whole code I mentioned yesterday. Yes, she did call, although the family doctor told her to call the receptionist for that code. She didn't call. She said the later the better and that she would arrange it on Monday. Earlier I thought she cared about time. Maybe she is ashamed of my brother's damaged door? Or is she sensitive to my every interaction with older men? I never confided in her about anything in my life, yet I think she noticed my crush on my high school English teacher and definitely disapproved of it.

If so, how come she praised my friendship with J? After all, they often took me to their apartment or out on the town somewhere in the evenings after physiotherapy at the camp. Mom saw J hugging mine many times. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much?

Mom still said something today that you may think is stupid, but to me it shows that Mom knows practically nothing about my disability,she herself admitted it, by the way.

So that's why she's speaking out on the subject now.

She stated that my curvature of the spine has nothing to do with my cerebral palsy. What do you mean it doesn't? After all, it's mainly due to spastic muscles, the way I walk, a stiff pelvis and weak abdominal muscles. So it is impossible to separate my spine from my Cerebral Palsy. So it's silly that my mother says that that I am more of an orthopedic patient not a neurological patient.

My mom only wants K to give me back massages. I know that massages alone won't do anything here.

Now I am terribly afraid that K will agree to my mother's stupid conditions. Because if he agrees it will be 80 hours of my life wasted.

I'm now wondering if I even want this extra physiotherapy? I think it's too late to change, yet I've started to get terribly scared.

I wrote N about all this. I feel she agrees with my opinion, even if she only wrote me back to work on my pelvis. N definitely doesn't like my mother, even if she only knows her from my stories.

💮💮💮💮

Okay, I'm done for the day. I'm tired,and the light is still on in my mom's room. It's pissing me off.

#cerebral palsy #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #physically disabled #hikikomori #actually neurodivergent #teacher attachment #older men crush #diary #teacher crush #physical disability

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picturebookshelf · 2 years

Note

Would each book have only one good ending? By "dead end", do you mean a dead-end path where getting said goos ending is a possibility no more?

More or less, I wasn't sure how else to describe the branching paths. As for whether it's impossible or not to get a good ending, I suppose it depends on how you want to structure the book, on how forgiving you want to be to readers, and how complex you're willing to make the theoretical story!

Goosebumps were my favourite flavour of CYOA books as a kid, and those ones had a tendency to have like... maaaaybe two or three good endings? And the rest was quite a lot of unfortunate death. When I think of CYOA, I tend to think of stories with one or two "true" happy endings, maybe a few neutral endings, and then a number of death endings, which is why I was refering to the other paths as "dead ends".

That's just me though, you may prefer a different style of CYOA! I suppose another example one could potentially draw from, if you're willing to branch away from children's media for examples, would be visual novels. Those often have a number different viable happy endings (often different romance options), and only a few failure endings. Some may or may not have a single "true" ending, but they're often made so that you can choose quite a number of different choices that still result in a positive ending. So a CYOA definitely doesn't have to be predominantly failure, that's just what I tend to think of.

The new printings of the official Choose Your Own Adventure books are actually really helpful for visualizing common CYOA pathing, because they actually print "roadmaps" on the back of the book! :

Here's a very simple example from Blood On The Handle by R. A Montgomery. This is one of the less complex ones: it only has only 13 endings, and once choose a route you're pretty much stuck on it. There's no opportunity to get to other tracks, except by restarting.

This book (as far as I recall) has one "true" ending that really wraps everything up perfectly, one other "good" ending, a few neutral endings where you don't die but don't really resolve the whole story, and then a number of bad endings. So if you first choice takes you down a branch that doesn't have the "true" ending then you're essentially on a "dead end" path. You might get an okay ending, but you won't get The Best Ending, and more likely you'll just die. And so you restart and play again!

In my opinion that is one of the best features of these books: they're very, very re-readable! I had a copy of Goosebumps: Trapped In Batwing Hall by R. L. Stine as a kid, and me, my brother, and our friend would sit and reread it together every few weeks because we kept hoping to figure out how to get one of the good endings! That being said though, some of the better made CYOA stories actually really encourage you to read ALL the different endings if you want the COMPLETE lore. Often even the "true" ending won't tell you everything unless you've read a number of the failure paths too!

Here's the set up for Eighth Grade Witch by C. E. Simpson. This one is significantly more complex! Not only does it have 28 endings instead of thirteen, but this one actually has the possibility of redirecting you back to different paths and endings you might have otherwise missed. So choosing one path doesn't automatically mean you'll be locked out of the ending you want because you have another chance to direct down that route.

So the possibilities really are endless here! It all depends on how much planning you want to put into a CYOA, and whether you prioritize giving your reader pleasant endings or scary endings. All valid options!

#also i feel like i need to give a shout out to You Are Asexual by A. C. Evermore #it's a queer parody CYOA book that i found HILARIOUS it really embraced the best parts of the genre #lots of weird horrid failures some neutrals and a few different good endings #i'm pretty sure i still have't found the ''true'' ending but i've enjoyed reading different endings and learning more of the books lore #definitely not a kids book this one involves a lot of sexuality and sex talk but still #it's enough of an interesting odd ball that i feel like i need to mention it #book talk #choose your own adventure #anon

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newhologram · 2 years

Note

How did you come to be so at peace with your dissociative symptoms? Do you have any advice about how to cope with them or anything like that?

I'm not really sure. Maybe just familiarity, because it's been basically my whole life now that I've had these symptoms.

As a kid, it was scary. I would realize something was happening but couldn't explain to my family or anyone else what I was feeling, what was wrong. I often felt like I was in a dream, either because of depersonalization/derealization or that weird Alice in Wonderland thing where it feels like my body is shrinking/growing. Or the annoying reverse-echo for like, a whole movie. It happened in class a lot too, when a teacher was lecturing. It's really awful, hate that one. Hasn't happened in 4 years or so.

I think now as an adult, having a better understanding of neuroscience and trauma has made it less scary. I actually find it fascinating, how the brain does this to protect me, and how it's been permanently woven into my nervous system's qualia program to the point that I live in a very different reality than others (we all do live in our own projection, but you know what I mean). I love learning more about all of this. In my free time I watch/read a lot of neurology/psychology stuff about it.

That doesn't mean it can't still freak me out sometimes, especially if I'm stressed/sleep deprived/badly triggered. But it's rare now for that to happen and I have a system in place to take care of myself and facilitate recovery from various types of relapses.

I think my main advice would be to learn more about it, to try to build a support system if possible. I don't care very much what other people think, so it's been easy for me to be open about this with my mental health team now, but I understand that it may be harder for others to take this step. So I know it's easier said than done, healthcare system access barriers aside.

I'm really careful not to come across as "romanticizing" my trauma and mental illnesses, but it really has worked for me to have a bit of fun with all of this. No, my trauma wasn't fun and being mentally ill certainly isn't fun. All of these appointments, endless hoops, repeat psych evaluations are tedious and annoying.

But I'm determined to have fun with my life, for once. Whether that's by kicking the door down on caring how other people think about me, wining and dining my delusions and demons to get them on my side, setting up my altar to allow celestial helpers to take on what I cannot carry… Because if nothing feels real including myself, then how can I play with that and make something out of it? What once was a very tight birdcage trapping me may actually just be my ribs waiting to be pried apart so my heart can shine.

I think it's all up to our own interpretation. So maybe spending some time sketching out what your personal interpretation of it might be somewhere safe and easy to start.

I don't know if any of this was helpful. None of this is pleasant and I'm sorry you're going through it. But I'm rooting for you and I hope you can find peace and eased symptoms. May the spoons be with you.

#dissociation #dissociative disorder #ptsd #cptsd #trauma #ask #anonymous

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amaya-writes · 2 years

Text

Setting Up The Setter (Haikyuu Setters x GN Reader)

DAY THREE OF DATING THE SETTER: A HAIKYUU EVENT

Notes: In which he's too shy to do anything about his feelings for you so the team decide to take matters into their own hands.

Warnings: you're trapped in a room with them in half of these. In the other half it's sort of an awkward 'we were supposed to be with other friends but they ditched' thing. Also Kageyama's is lowkey just a one-shot, sorry I got carried away.

Characters involved: Sugawara Koushi, Kenma Kozume, Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio, Oikawa Toru, Akaashi Keiji

Gender-neutral reader, you/yours

Sugawara Koushi

Sugawara would kill Daichi and Asahi once he got out of the classroom.

If he was being honest, the sweet setter had known is friends would be up to something the moment he let it slip that his only regret from Karasuno would be liking you for three years but never saying anything about it.

After all, how could he?

You were his perfect classmate. The one who everyone wanted to be with yet somehow you found it in yourself to be blind to your effect on the world.

You were everything he wanted and more. Too bad Sugawara couldn't get a word of that out when trapped in a classroom with you.

"Are you sure the door's locked from out?"

You didn't even bother looking up from the teacher's desk, which you had conveniently perched yourself on and were currently doodling onto with a stray pencil.

"Yes Koushi, I've checked three times."

It was then that you finally looked up from the desk, turning to meet his gaze with a small hesitant smile.

"Guess you're just stuck with me now."

"That isn't necessarily a bad thing."

Sugawara found himself moving away from the windows at the other end of the classroom, which he had used as an excuse to not confront you for the past ten minutes.

You seemed almost amused at his response, only replying when he was close enough to lean against the other end of the teacher's desk.

"Oh, it isn't?"

This was it. The moment he would finally tell you what he had been feeling.

"No, I like being trapped with you. In fact, it just gives me an excuse to spend more time with you."

This time you seemed more anxious than confused, but were somehow still able to hold the conversation with a voice much lower than before.

"Why would you ever want that?"

"Go out with me."

Sugawara couldn't help but flinch at his suddenness but allowed himself to continue once he noticed the surprised but pleasant smile on your face.

"Go on a date with me. Just one date, and if you don't like me then-"

"I've liked you for the past three years. And I would love to go on a date with you."

Sugawara was going to do it. He was going to finally seal his lips against yours and earn the kiss he had been yearning for since his first day at Karasuno.

However, his friends had other plans.

"Oh, there you are Suga! Why were you locked in here?"

Sugawara was really going to kill Daichi and Asahi now.

Kenma Kozume

He had lied.

He had lied and Kenma would wring Kuroo's neck the next time he saw him.

It was bad enough that Kuroo had forced you to tag along with them to the Hanami festival, but the rooster-head just had to disappear the moment the three of you arrived, forcing the two of you into an awkward silence.

"I wonder where he's run off to."

"Probably ogling at one of the stalls."

You hummed at his reply, taking a moment to fiddle with a stray cherry blossom petal before once again speaking.

"You're a great friend, you know."

Kenma found himself turning to watch you as you spoke, noticing how you were too nervous to look up while saying it.

"I mean you came out here to celebrate the Hanami festival even if you don't like crowds just because Kuroo asked you to come."

This was his moment. Kenma might have been shy, but he certainly wasn't stupid, and he knew that if you liked him then this was the perfect chance to put that to the test.

"Actually, I didn't just come for Kuroo. I came for you."

"Me?"

It was then that you finally looked back at him, this time with your eyes holding a glimmer of hope that pushed Kenma to continue.

"Yes. I like you. A lot, actually. And if you feel the same then I would love to be your boyfriend."

The second you took to reply felt like weeks for him, however, it was all worth it the moment he felt your hand hesitantly rest on his, followed by the words he had been waiting to hear for what seemed like forever.

"I'd like that very much, Kenma."

Your delicate moment was abruptly broken by Kuroo making a reappearance, this time with a cocky grin on his face.

"Well now that the cat's finally out of the bag, I'll leave you two on your date."

Kuroo didn't even bother waiting to listen to either of you protest, instead quickly running off before Kenma could maim and possibly injure him.

However, as the blond got over his initial shock and turned to meet your gaze again, he couldn't help but feel slightly grateful for Kuroo's interventions.

After all, it got him you.

Miya Atsumu

Osamu really did know how to play wingman. And he was smooth at it too.

He had made the perfect plan and sent you both off to the park beside school for lunch, saying that he would tag along but then pretending to be held up long enough for the two of you to end up alone together.

Now if only you didn't seem so awkward and dejected without his brother around, then maybe Atsumu could finally get the ball rolling.

"Do you like 'Samu?"

He really hadn't meant to confront you like that, but after watching you avoid any opportunity at having a conversation Atsumu couldn't help but feel the need to know whether you liked his brother more than him.

"What? No! He's just a friend."

Your panicked reply help Atsumu feel a little better about himself.

After all, even if you ended up liking someone else at least he would know it wasn't his brother.

The relief that came with your reply gave Atsumu the courage he needed to continue, making him reach out and grab onto your shoulder to turn you to completely face him.

"Well, who do you like, then?"

"Why do you want to know?"

He clicked his tongue at your reply, making it clear that he wouldn't be speaking until his question was answered. Seeing that you had no other way of avoiding the confrontation, you found yourself finally being truthful with the setter you had come to fall for.

"Fine. I like you, Atsumu. And I get that you don't feel the-"

He kissed you.

Atsumu hadn't really planned on doing it, but he couldn't hold himself back the second he heard the words leave your lips. Lips that were currently pressed against his own in a perfect way that had him yearning for more.

He felt your hand hesitantly cup his face while his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you in place as he further deepened the kiss.

One kiss led to another, and then another, until the two of you were pulling away because of the need for oxygen.

But even then Atsumu refused to let go, with his arm never loosening its hold on you and lips moving to place a small peck on your cheek.

"I like you too."

As the two of you finally pulled away and started to head back to school, Atsumu couldn't help but feel thankful for his brother.

Osamu really did make a good wingman.

Kageyama Tobio

You were there again.

At the vending machines, right after school, just like Kageyama was every single day too. And just like every other day you always took something new, watching as he always took the same thing but never commenting on it as you instead rated the item you took.

This had become a routine for the two of you, and even if Kageyama would never admit it, he always memorised your opinions.

A C for the apple juice because it wasn't fresh but cold enough to taste good.

An A for the chocolate milk because who didn't like chocolate milk.

And an F for the mango juice because it tasted expired.

But even if you didn't like the thing you always ended up finishing it during your walk together to the front of the school, where the two of you would part ways and Kageyama would head off to the volleyball club feeling just a little better than he did before.

He didn't talk much during your encounters, but the two of you had begun to consider each other friends, even exchanging numbers and occasionally texting each other the few times the other wasn't at the vending machine.

You had wished him good luck during his matches outside of the city, sometimes even staying back to congratulate him in person on the days you had a club late enough for you to still be there when the volleyball team got back.

The team had begun to call his happy person, with even the likes of Tsukkishima noticing the effect you had on him.

Maybe that was why Kageyama noticed another person at the vending machine that day.

You were there again, but this time, Hinata was with you.

Kageyama couldn't help but feel annoyance take over as he approached the two of you, noticing how the orange-head was clearly talking about him.

"-and he got all grumpy at first but now we work together nicely."

"Hinata!"

If it weren't for your amused chuckle Kageyama would have probably launched the volleyball in his hand at Hinata, but unfortunately, he felt his fight die down as you held out his regular drink to him and began to lead the way to the school gate.

"So, you both really love volleyball, don't you?"

"You could say it's all he thinks about."

The lack of offence on Hinata's face at his words should have been an indicator of what was to come next, however, somehow Kageyama had overlooked the shorter boy's devious side.

"Well we both love volleyball but unlike me, Kageyama has something else he likes too."

You seemed almost intrigued as you turned towards the side and took the bait.

"What?"

"You. It's honestly sort of cute-"

The shorter boy had to cut himself off in order to dodge the volleyball thrown his way but was wise enough to run while he could and leave you to take care of the damage.

"You like me?"

Kageyama was going to deny it. He was going to pretend that what you had was just a friendship, but then he looked at you, really looked at you, and he couldn't help but silently nod at the question.

"Like like-like me?"

"Yes."

You stayed quiet for a moment, but then the beat of silence passed and was replaced with a surprised gasp as he felt your lips mould against his.

You tasted sweet, like freshly picked strawberries, a taste that perfectly fit his perception of you. Kageyama just hoped the slightly bitter taste of milk wasn't something you perceived him as.

Thankfully, as you slowly pulled away and peeled your eyes open, the small smile on your lips widened, followed by another peck to his lips.

"Why don't we hang out after your practice, Tobio?"

He couldn't do much except nod at your question, too stunned to actually say anything. Whether that was because of the kiss or the fact that you used his first name, Kageyama didn't know.

However, as he watched you walk away he couldn't help the smile that crawled across his face as Kageyama came to a new realisation.

The strawberry milk was definitely an A.

Oikawa Toru

Oikawa didn't know why he felt so nervous.

It wasn't like you had never watched him practice before, after all, both of you lived on the same street so Oikawa would often ask you to wait until the end of practice to walk home with him.

That was only one of the several things he had done to try and show you he thought of you as more than just a friend. But unfortunately, you didn't quite catch on yet, leaving Oikawa as a confused and upset mess.

The team were the ones who had to deal with the brunt of his feelings, what with Oikawa constantly pausing in the middle of a game to contemplate whether or not it was a good idea to just confess.

Maybe that was why Iwaizumi had been so persistent with his plan to get the two of you together, even going as far as making the team leave early and forcing Oikawa to do extra drills to ensure you caught him alone.

However, his efforts were for nothing considering Oikawa had all but avoided you for the past ten minutes.

"Toru? The ball isn't going to throw itself, you know."

It was then that he finally turned towards you, this time with an embarrassed flush to accompany his state.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Oikawa really did want to avoid the confrontation, but he found himself sitting on the bench beside you and speaking before he could think twice.

"You sure you want to know?"

You nodded silently, urging him to continue and finally spill his thoughts.

"I was thinking-"

Oikawa couldn't help but feel his usual smirk return, the one he reserved for his fan club.

"-about how to ask you out."

"Like a date?"

He nodded, leaning in until his lips were but a breath away from yours.

"Exactly like a date."

"Well-"

it was your turn to smile as you pushed him away from the shoulder, making Oikawa's mood falter for a total of five seconds before he heard the rest of your words.

"-how about you do it later today at the Hanami festival?"

Oikawa's grin returned tenfold at your words, making him once again lean forward to try and capture you in his arms, however, this time you literally jumped to your feet in an attempt to escape his sweaty embrace.

"Aww-"

"Nope no hugs until you're un-sweaty."

Oikawa wasn't certain, but as he watched you laugh at his fake offence and walk away with promises of seeming him later, he could almost swear he heard Yahaba yell 'finally'.

Akaashi Keiji

Akaashi loved his team, really he did, but did they have to be ever-so-persistent at trying to set him up with you?

If the constant assault of not-very-subtle compliments about him and mentions of how he had a crush on someone who just happened to have a very similar personality to yours wasn't bad enough, Bokuto just had to go out of his way to place a cherry on his terrible cake by locking the two of you on the rooftop.

The setter couldn't help but sigh in annoyance, only turning away from the door once he heard you speak.

"Did your team just lock us on the roof?"

"Yeah I'm sorry about them, they're just crazy."

Akaashi could have sworn he heard Bokuto go about his usual dramatics at his words but chose to ignore his team and focus on the amused grin on your face instead.

"I honestly think it's kind of cute how they're trying to set us up."

The roof once again became completely silent at your words, allowing Akaashi to take a moment of silence to process his shock. However, his moment seemed to be longer than he thought considering your amusement quickly changed to anxiety.

"I-"

"Go out with me!"

It was your turn to take a beat of silence, but unlike him, you took that time to walk towards Akaashi, only stopping once you were close enough to reach out and rest a hand on his neck.

"I would love to."

Akaashi wasn't really thinking when he reached forward to plant a small kiss on your lips, but if the way you were smiling into the kiss was anything to go by, you seemed to be enjoying the moment just as much as he did.

Bokuto and the rest of the volleyball team were terrible wingmen, that was for certain, however, their actions could be ignored if it meant Akaashi could finally be with you.

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nyeddleblog · 2 years

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hello !, can you write for no way home where the peters meet reader and she’s the host of either venom (or carnage)

The Gentle Host.

⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME⚠️

Pairing: Andrew! Peter Parker x Reader, Tom! Peter Parker x Reader, Tobey! Peter Parker x Reader. Warnings: fluff, social anxiety, shy reader, third person, may have mixed up some pronouns cuz reader is on second person, but the rest on third, and Peter is he and refers to Venom as "IT", but Venom and reader refer to Venom as "They/them" so just correct me if you see any mis pronoun. Summary: A beautiful person seemed to be confused about this new world, but they were extremely dangerous.

You had a pair of extremely tender eyes, to which Peter almost succumbed when he first saw them. You were sitting on the ground, your arms supporting your upper half as you looked around in a clueless manner.

"Where am I?" you asked, more to yourself than to anybody else, but Peter chose to answer either way.

"You're on the Alexander Hamilton Bridge"

Once he gave a step closer to you, you looked up from the ground and he could see some kind of shade moving on your colored orbes, as if a strange algae was shaking violently inside a sea wave.

"Don't... Don't step any closer" you said weakly, crawling backwards into the busy road "I may hurt you"

Normally, Peter would listen to the alarms going off inside his head, but this time he just wanted to take you out of danger's way, without contemplating that your words may be true.

"Don't worry" he responded, his hands gently up "I'm unarmed."

You seemed confused, as if you were surprised by the fact that Peter wasn't afraid of you. But the boy's approach finally landed on your symbiote's bad side, and you couldn't keep it in anymore.

Venom was out.

The boy fell back and he could feel the overwhelming presence of something else, something that wasn't you. It was as if you were completely consumed under that gooey being, whose big eyes were staring down at him.

Peter knew this should be the moment where he shoots his web and that thing left, but the thought of you going away with it felt unfair.

You didn't want to hurt him. And maybe that thing didn't want to hurt him either, maybe it was just a condition.

The symbiote, that creature he didn't know how to call, was twice your height, with long arms falling to its knees, and long fingers that seemed more like claws. Its eyes covered almost all of its face, and Peter could see himself reflected on them.

His mask kind of resembled its face, and for thirty seconds they stared into each other. But, differently than Venom, Peter was trembling, and shorter, and feeling threatened by their closeness.

And just as he shot the web, silently and without breaking eye contact, the symbiote's head split in two aggressively, lining up fangs and a sharp long tongue that got to lick half of his clothed face before the creature disappeared.

Afterwards, Peter considered being decisively careful with any other possible otherwordly person, no matter how cute they were.

To be fair, he blocked out the memory of Venom for as much as he could; the creature wasn't exactly a pleasant sight, and Peter wouldn't create such a thing in his imagination, so everytime he saw it behind the glass he got a chill down his spine.

Whenever he took his time to talk to the villains, the thing would just stand there, staring at him silently.

"You know..." Ned started, nervously sharing his stare between Peter and Venom "I don't think that thing has a story, maybe we should just... Let that one go back..."

Peter sighed "It does... Have a story."

"What do you mean?"

"There is a person underneath that thing, and I know it was scared..." he gave a look to the creature "I think it's trapped..."

For once, Peter heard it talk.

"WE ARE NOT TRAPPED!"

The room became silent. The boy took a step closer to the glass and he could feel the eyes of everyone on it.

"Are you sure you're not?"

It seemed like Venom realized that your freedom was up to this boy, and he didn't exactly trust their appearance at the moment.

Just as traumatizing as seeing you turn into the symbiote, was the sight of seeing the symbiote turn back into you.

So you spoke "No... We are not trapped."

The boy clinged his hands together, playing with them. "Hum... I'm not sure..."

"Please, I know you want to help us..." you begged "They were just trying to protect me! We were okay in our world and suddenly we weren't there anymore! They won't hurt you if they know you're not a threat!"

Peter meditated it; Venom was a major set back on making up his decision, because without a creature that seemed as dangerous as that, he would have set all villains free already.

"They made symbiosis with me..." you continued "They have a connection with me, and they wouldn't do something I'm against to unless it's for my well being, believe me... I'm not a bad person."

He looked into your eyes and he couldn't help but believe you. He really hoped you were right.

Once out, and onto Happy's apartment, you could feel the fair amount of distance people took from you, as if the six foot that kept you apart were highly poisonous.

Only Peter dared to touch you, and unconsciously. There was a trail of dirt coming up to your back that had formed itself from all the crawling on the pavement, and he innocently tried to clean it off.

Venom wasn't happy, their fierce mouth almost chopping his hand off.

Peter learned his lesson then, no touching you; specially if you were giving all of your effort to keep the symbiote inside you, and happy.

The experiments started as well as the honest answers you gave the boy.

Venom wasn't a parasite. They weren't a threat. They wouldn't hurt an innocent, and they weren't hurting you.

If you went back to your universe on the exact second you left, you wouldn't be on a life or death trouble. No, most likely you would be hunt down by the police, but Venom could handle that...

However, Venom wouldn't act nicely towards a breaking loose villain; so when Peter's spider sense acted up towards the Green Goblin, and Electro was filled with energy once more, your body shifted.

"Oh, shit, not you too..."

Almost offended, Venom turned around to look at Peter.

"I'm trying to help your weak ass, bug boy."

Inside, you laughed softly. On the outside, Venom quickly jumped out the window, and you weren't so sure how much confidence that would give Peter.

You couldn't blame him, Venom was a sight.

You didn't know, however, that symbiotes shared an interdimensional memories, and you were surprised when you saw yourself standing in front of a very frightened man.

"I introduced myself, kid. You'll take it from here." you heard Venom tell you.

And that's how it left your body little by little, gaining some surface under your feet.

"I'm so sorry"

"Don't apologize!"

"Hum, this must be weird but I have this..."

"Don't you dare...!"

"...Thing inside of me and I don't know why it brought me to you..."

"He's Peter Parker, kid"

"You're Peter Parker?! Oh my god, we really need your help... I-I mean, you need your help. Another you, I mean. Here, let me show you the way."

The man, still startled, followed you wary of what the symbiote inside of you could do to him.

To say that this Peter knew Venom was little. They had a whole experience.

Yet, Peter found you so young. You didn't seem to have any trace of the insanity Venom could provoke; your face, beside dirty, was fresh and filled with the will to help.

He almost felt pety.

"You see..." you tried to explain, excitedly, but overall in need of speak quickly "There's this guy, from this word, who wanted to take us all back to our universes, but he couldn't, because he had some kind of moral conflict... And he tried to help the others, cuz' most of them where villains who died back in their worlds, but they kinda took it personal..."

"I...?"

"You are him, aren't you? But like, in a place where you are older, and have blue eyes, and look like a chill-er person...?"

"I mean, I am Peter Parker but-"

"Are you the Spider-Man?"

"Yes"

"Then you can help! He should be over he-"

You stood frozen on the scene, where the world seemed to have been shoved down. An ambulance stood there, taking a body of the kind woman who had received you. And around, filled with cops. Peter was no way to be found.

"What happened here?"

"That was his aunt."

"What?"

"She's dead."

"Hey, kid, focus... What happened?"

"I don't know. She- She was... They must have done this"

"Them who?"

"There was this one guy, Norman I think..."

You could feel the tension sneaking into the air, and the terrified reaction of this older Peter.

"Stay with him, kid" Venom advised fondly "If anything, I'll take charge."

There wasn't much more to do, until you were blinded by a bright orange light. There, in front of you, two teens and a man.

Another Peter, you assumed by the costume.

When they asked, you answered casually "I'm the black thing that stood in the corner."

Ned arched both of his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I just want life to come back to normal. Can I help in anything?"

Once more, the realization that someone so young seemed to have such big problems was spread into the other Spider-Man. This man, however, seemed more perceptive than the latest one you encountered.

"I mean..." Doubtfully, Ned looked back at MJ "I don't know... Are you planning on eating our brains?"

The guy, standing right behind us, seemed not only confused, but a little bit alarmed at the question.

"Don't worry, they are on your side... So far"

"So far?"

You shrugged "Come out Venom, it's time to shine"

Ned had to sit down as he watched your hole body shift, drowning in the black slimey texture that you seemed so fond of. Both Peters startled by both the size and the appearance of Venom.

Them, knowing about your ethical beliefs and the way you would react if the two people that could help suddenly ran off because of them, chose to stretch out his hand and greet them.

"I am Venom."

The one Peter who was left unintroduced nodded, a little clueless on what to say and peaking at the teens to know if this was a thing here.

"I- Yeah, cool. That's just..." you definitely didn't seem like a 9 foot tall gooey monster "Just, yeah. Nice to meet you Venom."

My Store. My Art. Buy Me A Coffee.

TAGLIST: @itssvphia @swaggysposts @allisonxmcu @elarasstardust @lartdestrouvailles @crying-is-your-latest-fashion @mrsbarnes107th @pastel-painted-sunrise @kirishimas-wife @haroldpotterson

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smoochi-modest · 3 years

Text

✿ [ Rose ] ✿

—> Genshin Impact - [ Xiao x Reader ]

—> [ Fem! Reader. No warnings on this one, it's more so an intro into a small series I plan create. Unsure what to classify it under, I'd say a fluff / comfort for the time being. ]

—> Description - [ He loves me, he loves me not or She loves me, she loves me not (originally effeuiller la marguerite in French) is a game of French origin, in which one person seeks to determine whether the object of their affection returns that affection. ]

—> Note - [ Please bare with me here, it's been awhile since I wrote anything. I apologize for any errors. 1.3k word count. ]

One rose symbolizes love at first sight, or so they say.

" He loves me... " you mutter as a delicate red rose petal found its way to the ground between your legs. Here you were, crisscrossed on the top of a mountain, lap full of pitiful flower petals. Each petal, each attempt at comforting a lonely soul. It felt as if the petal themselves plucked pieces of your heart in every negative way. Your heart strings playing a saddened yet calming tune for only you that night.

In all honesty, the "he" laced in your statement had been unknown for some time now. You weren't too sure who you wished for, however you knew someone must've been out there willing to give you even a moment of their precious time.

" ...He loves me not " Plucking the last petal, sighing in defeat you throw away the stem of yet another flower tarnished without any sign of blessings coming your way. What a silly tale, that a mere rose could predict something as important as ones true feelings for another.

Sat beneath the stars on the outskirts of a well known harbor, you watch as people group up within the city of Liyue, today was supposed to be a special day; or so you thought.

The celebration of a fresh full moon, and the day we honour the loss of an adeptus whom in the past saved their light. Their love. Their peace.

Here you sat alone. Admiring the lanterns that begun to float up into the night sky. Shifting in your spot, you grasp a hold of all the petals which were previously in your lap. Staring off into the night, you drop the petals, allowing them to fly in the gentle breeze along with the lanterns.

As you lost touch of the final petal, you hear a sound on the opposing side of the bush you had been at for quite some time now. Stealthily you make your way to it, cautious not to be seen by any danger that may lay behind its contents. Peeking a head over, your eyes are met with a young man seated on the grass, admiring the brightened sky.

The boy seemed to notice your presence almost immediately. Shifting his gaze, two golden eyes shine within your own, that gentle faraway look seemed to flee as a sternness arrived the moment you locked eye contact. Following afterwards, a short gasp escaped between your parted lips. Kneeling back down behind your rose bush, you couldn't help but feel guilty to have ruined his peace.

You weren't expecting to see another face in this area, most who came to see the Lantern Rite celebration were down in the city, so just who is that boy? curiously, you peak over once again to observe him. Only to be met with his eyes but much closer this time. Turns out he approached the bush as well, sitting just on the other side. He didn't make a peep, staring back at you with a near blank expression. Not a word had been said until you quietly mutter an apology,

" I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to be up here..."

Feeling awkward, trapped in his gaze, you shy away, looking at the grass beneath you, the sight of a single red rose left in the bush went far from unnoticed.

" I could say the same to you, mortal. "

Mortal? he spoke as if he weren't one as well, from the looks of it he was as human as you. You would've questioned but something about meeting a new person made you tense. Would it have been rude to question him right off the bat like this? who is he?

" Are you alright? " He said aloud, seeming almost concerned by your silence.

" I'm okay, just a little shocked is all. "

" Alright. "

With that, he looked back at the sky. His back leaning against the bush. The mysterious boy seemed to ease up, meanwhile you still felt tense. Perhaps some small talk could ease your nerves. You weren't sure if this was a good inexpectancy, but it didn't seem to hold any danger. The young mans presence was welcomed, but kept at a safe distance. You can't seem to recall the last time you spoke to someone besides yourself that day.

" The lanterns are pretty, aren't they? " You began, your gaze shifting back and forth between the lone rose and the night sky. At this point you couldn't differentiate the stars from the far off lanterns.

" They are. " He stated coolly, seeming fixated on the floating lights. This boy was at peace, a rare sight that you were graced to see without even realizing it. Curiosity burns in your soul, craving to learn more about him.

" Pardon me asking, but who exactly are you? Wait, I'm sorry. That's rude of me to not introduce myself first... " You began to fumble your words, nervously fidgeting with your fingers. " My name is [y/n]! "

Internally beating yourself over the head, you can't help but replay the introduction in your mind over an over again. Since when have you become so awkward? he has done nothing to fluster you so much, yet you can't help but feel your heart pound.

" You may call me Adeptus Xiao. Why are you so persistent on asking silly questions? it's becoming somewhat of an annoyance " the voice grumbles from behind you, as you too now leaned against the bush.

" Is it wrong of me to be curious of a lone boy out on his own? I'm sure I have no room to speak, but I've never seen you around before. Though I can't say I'm much of a people person, so I may have forgotten. " Smiling sheepishly, you attempt to lighten the mood. He doesn't seem to care much for talking with you, only making you frown. Maybe you really were just an annoyance.

" How about you ask me a question in return! "

" Why would I do that? " he inquired.

" Because I'm trying to start a conversation here with you, ya know! and you are making this more difficult than it should be. "

The rosebush had been the only thing separating these two forms, one Mortal, one Adeptus. So close yet so far, they slowly warmed up to the other that night. Accepting each others company, they began to watch the lights of Lique fade, meaning the celebration had to come to an end soon enough as well. Soft tones, soft lights reflecting off your skin from the gentle glow luminating out of Liyue.

A moment of peaceful silence filled the air, until Xiao suddenly stood up in what seemed to be a rush. Concerned, you stood as well, getting a good look at his features for the first time.

" I must cut our time here short, I have a duty that I intend to fulfill. "

Xiao's speech felt so surreal, finding yourself begin to stare in awe. At first glance he'd be like any ordinary boy, but now that you have a moment to really take in his appearance, he was rather attractive. His petite frame wasn't something that overly mattered to you, unlike the way his hair seemed to frolic in the wind rushing to pass by, or the way his golden eyes resonated with the yellow light of lanterns. It felt like you were in the presence of an angel.

You still had so many questions to ask, yearning to be closer to the mysterious boy. Feeling the need to reach out, but didn't have time or were you simply afraid? what was their to fear when all you felt was comfort within his sharp gaze.

" If you ever feel you are in need, call out my name and I will return at your wake and call. "

Taking one last side glance at your shifting expression, he vanished into the night within a blink of an eye. Leaving you behind once again with your lone rose.

'Maybe it wouldn't hurt to pluck a couple extra tonight.' You thought. Smiling gently to yourself, you can't help but replay this special night in your head. Perhaps crossing paths with this Xiao character would be a pleasant change of pace in your life.

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact comfort #genshin impact xiao #genshin impact xiao x reader #genshin fluff #genshin comfort #genshin x reader #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #Rose #smoochi modest

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dreaminpetals · 3 years

Text

💐 COMMISSION: fem s/o's wedding with andrew (sfw & nsfw) 💐

thank you so much for the commission! please consider checking out my emergency commissions here ! i hope you enjoy !

SFW ;;

♡ Andrew has always longed to marry somebody. Being a religious man, he's dreamed of filling a church with people who are dear to him as his beloved bride walks down the aisle.

♡ He's only glanced at weddings, an outsider looking in. The brides and grooms having the best nights of their lives made his heart feel fuzzy. Nobody would ever dare to wed him, but the idea was certainly a pleasant one. It helped him sleep. It comforted him when he needed it most. He wanted to look down at his hands and see a ring that reminded him someone out there loves him.

♡ He grew up with not even a penny to his name, so he knows having a luxurious wedding would be completely out of the picture for someone like him. Until he met you.

♡ You helped him get back on his feet and the two of you worked together to save up enough money for a wedding ceremony and reception, along with a honeymoon.

♡ Most honeymoons are spent lazing by the beach, but due to his body being constantly at war with sunlight, you decided to book a trip to a lovely cabin hidden away in the woods, a private place for just the two of you.

♡ He honestly thought you'd end up getting married in Red Church, surrounded by cobwebs and broken glass, but you insisted that you two would find a way to escape the manor and you'd have a proper wedding.

♡ It took months of promises and longing, but the seal keeping everyone trapped in the manor finally snapped and let everybody escape. You took Andrew's hand that day and promised him that a brighter future was upon you.

♡ Your wedding was surprisingly inexpensive. Despite your days in the manor being long gone, many of the survivors stayed in touch with you and were more than willing to help. You don't need to hire a whole team of wedding planners with the survivors by your side.

♡ Michiko and Violetta teamed up to sew you the most gorgeous dress you had ever laid eyes on.

♡ Emma designed your bouquet and enveloped the chapel in beautiful flowers.

♡ Norton prepared your rings using the finest gems he could find.

♡ Margaretha found the most wonderful songs to play and arranged dances.

♡ Vera styled your hair and Fiona did your makeup.

♡ Victor handled the invitations and did a fantastic job. So on and so forth.

♡ You and Andrew were on good terms with almost everyone, so they were all pumped to see how your wedding would play out. It was the greatest team effort they put into anything since the escape of the manor.

♡ You two had lots of practicing to do before the actual wedding. For one, Andrew didn't know table manners. You'd have to lovingly teach him gestures like how to cut his meat and how to do a toast before even daring to eat at the reception.

♡ Dancing together in your rooms was what Andrew enjoyed the most, though. Margie planned several dance routines, so you had triple the practicing to do when it came to dancing.

♡ Andrew was surprisingly agile during fast-paced dances, he loved to twirl you in the air like in a movie and dip you so low you thought you were going to crash into the ground. Each yelp only spurred him to play with you more, drinking up your reactions and getting all giddy because it's you.

♡ As for slow dancing with Mister Kreiss? You're so lucky to say you're familiar with it. He hums along to whatever music you play in the background, and puts so much love into every step or twirl that you feel like your heart might burst. It's agony waiting to dance with him in a suit and dress rather than your pajamas.

♡ You're blown away when you see the wedding venue for the first time. It's pure white with shades of red sprinkled in, the same colours Andrew has hated about himself now repurposed to be something he'd look at fondly for the rest of his life. It was beautiful. Like him.

♡ You noticed a chair with an unfamiliar name on it. When you asked Andrew who it belonged to, he answered that it was for his late mother. She would have loved to come, he said.

♡ He doesn't take the day of the wedding very well. What do you mean he can't see you until the ceremony?! He wants to greet you, kiss you, practice some extra dance moves to be extra sure... he's grumpy while the guys of the manor dress and hype him up.

♡ "Alright, let's do this! THREE CHEERS FOR OUR MAN ANDREW!" William would cheer so loudly the girls would hear it from the other side of the church and burst out into laughter.

♡ Andrew couldn't stop his hands from shaking, though. His lifelong dreams were finally being realized. The love of his life was going to marry him tonight. Willingly. He could barely believe it.

♡ As for you? You're brimming with excitement at the idea of walking down the aisle and shooting an arrow of love straight into Andrew's heart. The girls are envious of you as they powder your face and tighten the seams of your dress.

♡ "I remember when you first met that boy," Michiko would say to you as she styled your dress, beaming at you through the mirror. "You were too shy to even speak to one another... ah, young love."

♡ It took a million checks to make sure you were ready to present yourself to everybody. Your hair, makeup, dress, veil, bouquet... everything had to be absolutely perfect. It was a bit difficult having so many girls look after you, because Tracy's idea of perfect was a little bit different than Michiko's. There was a lot of playful arguing, but you knew they just wanted this day to be flawless for you.

♡ Once the petals were strewn down the halls and the bridesmaids and groomsmen made their appearances, you finally presented yourself.

♡ It took everything in Andrew to not fall to his knees when he saw you. You were angelic, your white dress cascading down your back with a stunning hairstyle he's never seen you in before. Your bouquet was made of all your favourite flowers, and he could see the perfect shade of lipstick beneath your vail. You captured Andrew's heart as he leaned onto Luca's shoulder for support.

♡ Andrew wasn't the only one who had his breath taken away. Practically everyone was gawking at you. It made Andrew feel a little... possessive, seeing everyone's eyes on you. He was going to be marrying you. Not José, not Norton, not Victor but him.

♡ All of his negative feelings disappeared the moment you were in arms reach. He extended an arm to take your hand as you gladly obliged. When he felt the fabric of your dress against his wrist, electricity shot through his body for a second time.

♡ Being able to see Andrew up close was a dream come true. His usual matted hair was thoroughly washed and brushed, it appeared as if José had lent him a hand. His usual flower was still present even as he wore a breathtaking suit. He smelled like cologne and looked so nervous but in love... you couldn't wait to finally kiss your groom.

♡ His hands trembled as he lifted your veil to reveal your features to him. You flashed him a grin and he felt his heart explode. He danced his fingers along your cheeks until they met your shoulders, which he gave an affectionate pat before turning to the priest.

♡ He had Helena help him with his vows. He wanted to blow you away, to use words you didn't think he knew. It took him days to memorize the words of love he was going to bestow upon you. You overheard him talking to himself a few times, but never guessed they were his vows.

♡ He also has some trouble with words of affection. Andrew much prefers to hold you or do favours for you.

♡ "When I first met you, I didn't think I was worthy of love. It's still hard to believe, but... I promise to return to you every affectionate gesture you give to me. I'll love you always and forever, as my angelic wife. I want to grow old with you. I vow to protect you, adore you, and care for you as long as I'm your husband. Our hearts will always be melded together and nothing will ever change that. Thank you for saving me. I love you."

♡ His vows brought some of the survivors to tears. Most of them only knew Andrew as that really quiet guy who hid behind his girlfriend a lot, so to see him spill his heart out for you made the crowd let out a sea of "awwwh"'s.

♡ His face turned scarlet and he almost wanted to run out of the building and hide once he finished speaking. He stumbled over and mispronounced a few words, but you could tell he put his whole heart into it and he meant every word he said.

♡ When he's finally able to kiss you, Andrew dips you low and assaults your entire face with kisses, treading past your lips. He doesn't care about smudging your makeup or embarrassing you, you're finally his wife and he just wants to feel your face after waiting all day to.

♡ The cheers once you become man and wife are astounding. When you tossed the bouquet it was caught by Eli and Gertrude.

♡ Demi helped to bake an enormous cake, one that's almost as tall as you. On top were little toppers meant to look like you and Andrew that you kept as mementos.

♡ The reception was definitely more of a party than the wedding was. Antonio and Margie played music for everyone to dance along to, and a karaoke session was held as well.

♡ Andrew was a little stressed out by how much noise there was, but you reminded him everyone there loved him and he melted. He's not used to all this positive attention.

♡ Your heart burst when he extended an arm and asked you to dance. You had been practicing for so long that when you finally attended the real event, it felt like a dream.

♡ For just a few minutes, nothing existed but Andrew's arms around you and the elegant music brought to you by a live band.

♡ Once all the food is eaten and gifts are exchanged, everyone bids you farewell. The girls cry when they hug you and the guys all pat Andrew on the back, wishing him good luck for... what couples do on their wedding night.

♡ When you two finally arrive home, Andrew is exhausted. He's never been to such a crowded event before, especially one where he's the main focus.

♡ He'd need to lay his head in your lap and relax as he plays with your dress. The fabric felt so pleasing under his fingers. He was so in love with every part of you. He needed to be as close to you as possible after being kept from you, and from being in public with you. He cherished alone time like this.

♡ Once he's rested up, you'd have to unpack all your gifts! Each survivor and hunter gifted you something for your domestic life with Andrew. Matching mugs, blankets, cutlery, paintings... you were drowning in presents.

♡ It took an hour, but you finally unwrapped and stored everything away.

♡ Which leads to...

NSFW ;;

♡ You and Andrew have had sex before. Maaany times. He views it as making up for lost time, it helps with his insecurities, and he enjoys making you feel good. Andrew will do everything in his power to make sure the lovemaking on your wedding night is nothing short of magical.

♡ When you're settled at home and can't think of any more chores to do, Andrew is more anxious than he's ever been. His face is red in a furious blush and he's barely able to muster a sentence as he stands stiffly, lustful eyes on you.

♡ He knows what couples are meant to do on their wedding nights, and he's so excited to make your wishes come true, but this poor boy has no idea how to initiate things. Whenever you make love, it's because he's visibly horny but too anxious to say anything so you take care of him.

♡ You approached your husband, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you stared up into his eyes. He didn't look at you or respond to your inquiry of whether he's okay or not. The growing tent in his pants spoke for itself.

♡ Your eyes widened when you felt his erection brush against your thigh. He could tell that you felt his arousal ー because he hoisted you up bridal style and pressed an openmouthed kiss to your lips. He was going to take you, and he was going to do it right.

♡ His sudden burst of confidence lead to him carrying you to your bedroom, and he gave you another kiss before gently placing you down on the bed.

♡ Andrew wouldn't know what to do next. He wants you eat you out for hours but... your dress is in the way. And he doesn't feel like taking it off just yet. No, he wants to take his sweet time with you. It's your wedding night, after all.

♡ His solution? Dry humping. He's always adored being able to rut against you like a wild animal, and getting to do so in your elegant wedding gear has him rearing to go. He doesn't want to soil your gown, no, he just wants to do something absolutely filthy in attire that's meant to be for a ceremony all about you.

♡ He would spread your legs as far as they possibly could go in your dress. When he hikes your dress up to your lower stomach and finally sees the sweet dessert laid out just for him, he's bucking his hips into the cold air for any sense of relief.

♡ He'd press his clothed cock against your panties and see stars. His lovely wife was so close to him but so far... he wasn't sure how long he could last like this.

♡ Andrew ground against you in a frenzy, arms snaking around your back as his face nestled itself in the crook of your neck, sucking sweet little kisses onto the flesh. He groaned when he rubbed against you just right, aiming to hit the same spots over and over again.

♡ He wouldn't let your needs go unnoticed. Andrew would angle himself to rub against your clit, and he'd pay special attention to your neck as he desperately got himself off with your body.

♡ The low groan that escaped from his lips as he came into his boxers went straight to between your legs. As he rode out his high, he'd push your panties aside and finish you off with his fingers before pulling away. Something about cumming before even getting his clothes off made him growl with need. And it made him desire you even more than he already did; skin to skin this time.

♡ Andrew asked you to undress him. You felt him shudder underneath you as you removed his suit and got him out of his pants. Stripping him reminded you that beneath all the cologne and hair gel, it was still your Andrew. His scarred body yearned for yours and you were more than happy to press a chaste kiss to his chest once he was undressed, your way of telling him you loved him.

♡ Your husband would ask you to sit in his lap, right on top of his aching boner just begging to be touched, and grind against it as he undid the several seams on your back.

♡ Andrew loves mirrors. He doesn't like seeing himself in them, but you? He could watch you be undressed through a mirror all day long. He thinks his hands look good when they're unbuttoning the fabric keeping him from you.

♡ You looked so radiant that Andrew would need to fuck you in front of a mirror just to truly see you.

♡ He would take his sweet time with you, for every untied string he would thrust up to grind against your clothed pussy and nibble your shoulders. Hearing you mewl in his lap causes his hands to fumble as he undresses you. He wondered just how someone could be so cute every time a moan is pulled from your throat.

♡ Andrew felt a little dejected once your dress was ready to come off. He would miss seeing you in it.

♡ ...Those feelings didn't last long, though. The moment he laid eyes on your bare body he was surging with confidence and hunger.

♡ "You look so ravishing... my... my wife..." he muttered, mostly to himself. It appeared he was still in disbelief that you were a wedded couple. Throughout the night he'd periodically mumble to himself that you were his wife, or he'd call you Mrs Kreiss. It had a lovely ring to it.

♡ Andrew wants ー no, needs ー to taste you after being away from you for so long. He would eat you out like a man starved.

♡ Positioning his face between your thighs, Andrew licked a sloppy stripe up your pussy, stopping right below your clit. Then he'd lick back down, avoiding the place where you needed him most. Your frustrated groans earned a soft chuckle from Andrew. He wanted to draw this out... he was in a playful mood.

♡ He massaged your thighs as he teased your folds, finally pulling away to ask you the question that would be the death of you. "Tell me what you want, my... wife..." his voice dropped in volume when he reached your title. He didn't care in that moment how cheesy it sounded, this was the ultimate night to be sappy with his angel.

♡ "Enough teasing, Andrew, please... eat me out," you'd weep through gritted teeth as your husband nibbled your thighs and nodded his head in response your pleas.

♡ Now that he's gotten you riled up for him (he wants to feel needed), he's not holding back. Andrew is the king of being unintentionally rough. He'd leave your core battered from how deep his licks are and how his chin smacks against your soft flesh.

♡ The moment Andrew feels you contract and twitch around him, he's slipping a wet finger into your walls to torture you further. He won't stop his ministrations even as you cum hard around him.

♡ He's extra passionate for your wedding night which translates into him not giving you a break. He doesn't want to pull away from your pussy, he wants to keep his head burrowed between your legs for as long as he possibly can. His tongue is going to commit every inch of you to memory tonight.

♡ If you really want to make this night worth your while, tackle Andrew once you feel overwhelmed and turn the tables on him.

♡ He loves when you take control and take him by surprise. One minute he was devouring you, and the next you've pushed his back against the headrest and you're lowering your head dangerously close to his cock.

♡ He wants you to feel good even as you suck him off, so Andrew will finger you while your lips are wrapped around his dick. He'll angle himself so the palm of his hand rubs against your sensitive nub. It drives him wild how sloppy your strokes and licks are when you're on the verge of cumming.

♡ He'd prefer to cum in your mouth. It's an intimate night, he doesn't want you to be completely covered in his seed just yet. He'd rather save that for the honeymoon.

♡ Chest heaving against your back, Andrew's next move is to pull you into his lap again. Remember how much he loves mirrors? He'll seat you right on his cock and direct your face with his hands to look right into the mirror across from your bed.

♡ "My wife," he'd murmur into your shoulder before snapping his hips into yours.

♡ Having Andrew's mouth so close to your ears means you'll get to hear every gasp and purr that he emits. And he makes a lot of quiet noises he tries to hide.

♡ Andrew made sure to cup a hand around your breasts and kiss your neck & lips as well. He wants to surround you. He wants all of your senses to be overtaken by him until you can't function.

♡ He would whisper praise into your ear, telling you how beautiful you look and how good you feel around him. It's not like him to be this bold and dominant but you're loving it.

♡ Andrew asked to cum inside you that night. When he finally reached his climax, he lifted you up so he could admire the string of cum connecting the husband to his wife. He was addicted to the sight and made sure to capture it in his memories for as long as he could.

♡ After several more rounds of rough licks and hard thrusts, Andrew would want something more soft and classic with you.

♡ Gently lowering you onto the mattress, Andrew would hover over you and press a tender kiss to your lips. With one long thrust, he'd fill you right up and stay like that, your hands connecting.

♡ His thrusts would be slow and sensual, making love to you rather than just fucking you. Don't be surprised if you feel hot tears drop onto your shoulders. This is one of the most sentimental moments of Andrew's whole life.

♡ Your tongues would dance as your lips locked in an intense kiss, you can tell how desperately he's trying to last and make this feel good for you.

♡ Andrew quickly repositioned himself to hit that spot inside of you. He's committed the location to memory, and wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't relentlessly batter it tonight.

♡ Your sudden gasps caused his thrusts to grow frantic, his hot breath fanning onto your neck as he plowed you into the mattress.

♡ You could feel his smirk on your skin when you began to pulse around him.

♡ "Good girl..." he would purr, rubbing circles on the back of your hand as you rode out your high. Hearing your cries of pure ecstasy pushed Andrew over the edge, and he emptied himself into you. You had never felt so stuffed before.

♡ Once you've decided you had enough, Andrew's entire demeanour changes. Before, he was determined to push your limits and hear your cries, while now he's insisting that you take a bath. He feels awful that he ruined your hair and makeup, plus you're littered with hickeys and your thighs are stained with seed... he doesn't know that you wouldn't have it any other way.

#andrew kreiss x reader #idv x reader #identity v imagines #andrew kreiss smut #andrew kreiss #andrew kreiss imagine

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