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onlydeas · 1 year

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i think i should step in and do heimdall headcanons he needs love !!

ever since god of war ragnarok came out idk i just fell for heimdall. it be the assholes

Heimdall headcanons

Meeting Heimdall wasn't the best thing, in fact, anybody who encountered him never had the best experience, therefore he was always regarded as Asgard's asshole. But you know what? You had so much patience with this man, even if his pettiness had forced you to hold on by a strand of hair, and you couldn't even land a hit on him, so what was the purpose of getting angry? “im sorry im actually here to work with heimdall, odin sent me” His eyebrows furrowed "You have no idea who I am, do you? im heimdall" As he uttered his name, your eyes widened, "no, I'd rather be tossed from the wall now."

sometimes you honestly wanted to quit your job but the fear you had for odin and the ego of not quitting and no matter how annoying heimdall is you will not let him win. you can not leave “why dont you just let me do my job alone you suck at fighting and you bore me” heimdall was your number one hater “ so if i were to take a tooth from you and sell it for money id be in the wrong huh” heimdall turned around feeling his teeth how could you say that he needs to be careful now and take care of his teeth or one day he’s waking up with none

Working with heimdall was a pain in the ass; how could one be so bossy? Why couldn't we simply have some fun for a while? No, you had to be on your feet with the man whose only friend was gulltoppr. “hey heimdall why dont we have some fun and explore Asgard” heimdall looked at you and only one word left his mouth “no” How could he be so irritating? Why couldn't he show you around and tell you about this place? "But why not? I believe I deserve it because I've been helping you around here." Heimdall gave you a sidelong glance "I already seen it all," you grabbed his arm and pulled him down to you. "I haven't seen everything, so please show me around."

heimdall looked into your eyes seeing how badly you wanted him to take you around he sighed and rolled his eyes “only once you’re honestly really annoying” you smiled and followed him towards gulltoppr and got on. The whole tour of asgard and heimdall explaining the history of it made you so happy you couldn’t believe you didnt ask for a tour a while ago its beautiful, heimdall took a glance at you, you appeared to be paying close attention to everything heimdall was saying. “you know heimdall for someone who always has something negative to say you aren’t so bad” you laughed, you payed attention to the beauty of Asgard while he was mesmerized by you

ever since that day heimdall gave you a tour he’s been surprisingly nicer to you even though he’s tried to drop you off the wall multiple times and still gives you his petty comments for no reason he was nicer while you put no attention to it heimdall was loosing his mind because he was developing feelings for you and he knew that he knew that really well every time you spoke to him his cheeks would turn pink and being a pale guy wasn’t really helping him he felt betrayed by his own body he didnt even want to make eye contact with you for seeing the future or reading your mind would hurt him if he found out you wanted nothing to do with him for someone who can not relax even for a moment this was driving him insane but he needed to be professional

heimdall was a bother to you keyword ‘was’ you couldnt stand him at all but being around him and learning more about him actually made you really happy he made you really happy you couldnt stand not being around him he was your partner after all how could an asshole to everything make you feel this way you would wait for him outside his place every morning to start the day you’d follow him everywhere hearing his voice made you so happy. you and him were like rosemary and thyme you both were amazing together you wouldnt even mind heimdall reading your mind with his foresight but lately he wouldnt look at you

his feelings only grew stronger day by day as much as he wanted to tell you how much you mean to him and how he would go to war for you he tried to focus on what you were here for ‘work’ he didnt want anyone getting in trouble because of his feelings so he pushed them so deep into his heart he thought the only way he wouldnt think about it was to ignore you and act like how he does with everyone. that only hurt your feelings so much why was he acting that way with you, you only wanted to tell him about your feelings but he wouldn’t make eye contact with you or even speak to you, he doesn’t know how badly his actions were hurting you “heimdall can we please talk, why are you ignoring me?” heimdall didnt look at you he only continued what he was doing “heimdall please listen to me”

as much as you tried to speak to him he would only turn his back to you this really was hurting you so much you thought you both were forming a really good friendship now out of no where he starts being a asshole to you again like how it first started “you left me waiting, you know im not really patient heimdall when i confronted you about not speaking to me you didnt say anything why are you doing this?” heimdall looked at you after so long and spoke “what is there to say (y/n) i dont need to listen to you we arent friends so give me space and stay out of my way” that really did it that broke your heart into so many pieces before he could even walk away you grabbed his hand “please dont leave me ive been going through emotions you dont even know about and each time i try to make you look at me so you can see how much i feel for you, you always ignore me!”

“what do you need (y/n)! what do you want?!” your eyes were filled with tears any second you could just burst into tears, you pulled him down and kissed him and for once someone actually touched him your tears flowed down your cheeks as you kissed him “i need and want you heimdall..i really truly love you so much” heimdall looked into your eyes seeing how much you really do love him he sighed in relief that you felt the same way he pressed his lips on yours holding you face

being heimdalls lover was such a dream I mean of course everyone would always ask you what do you see him that they dont with heimdalls cocky personality he was literally such a dream to you imagine just having a boyfriend who's rude to the whole world but with you hes so sweet and patient

heimdall couldn't keep his hands off you he just wanted to feel you all the time he wasn't fond of the pda maybe just holding your hand, kissing your cheeks and hugging you every chance he could get but in private oh gosh he doesnt stop kissing you, touching you he follows you everywhere seriously hes like a duckling he just cant get enough of you, hes so in love with you "heimdall..do you really need to follow me into the bathroom" heimdall nods you dont know if hes trying to protect you orrr hes just being a creep

his foresight is truly amazing he always knows what you want, when you want and how. sometimes he can be such a tease about it too I mean sometimes you want to kiss him but he dodges you and teases you about it when you fail to kiss him not just once, or twice but after hes done laughing and teasing you he gives you so much kisses to make up the ones you tried to give him "how could you dodge my kisses!" heimdall laughs kissing you all over

in heimdalls eyes you are everything he needs in his life he would never leave you, you being a mortal and him being a god gave him so much motivation into protecting you from all harm in the world he always says things like you were created in this world for him to love, protect, to hold, to feel you he can’t do anything if you arent in his life his words are seriously the sweetest thing ever he always knows what to say having a god as a boyfriend and not only that he is very intelligent but sometimes he forgets to think hes very impulsive he hates it when other gods ask you for favors why you? why couldnt they pick all the other mortals or find a god or something why bother whats his?

heimdall surprisingly talks about marriage with you everyone is so surprised since he seems like he’d rather be alone forever cause of his attitude with everyone he talks about marriage and a family how he wants to raise children with you he brings it up more then you do! even at random times like when you both are sleeping together…“so if when we get married should we get gulltoppr to be the flower-“ you groaned and sat up “seriously heimdall go to bed” heimdall sat uo to look at you “its a serious question y/n!!”

lets be honest im sure heimdall would be so clingy the way hes dedicated to protecting asgard im sure he’d always want to be with you its like he’d want to be apart of you he’s the type to stay so close to you never leaving your side for nothing who knows what other gods have in mind

you are what calms him every time hes about to explode he thinks about you he constantly whispers your name every second this man has anger issues he cannot relax for a moment thor literally has him on his last strand his strand is thinner than hair, everyone is very fond of you you changed his attitude he isnt so mean as before but when you arent near him he may explode any second “ just think about y/n yes think about y/n, y/n will get very mad if i do something wrong and i dont want that just imagine y/n” heimdall is smiling at a corner thinking about you so he wouldn’t start a war

whatever you want you shall receive even if he doesnt even know what it is he will find it or create it, his attention is all yours he could constantly stare at you speaking for hours but thats you, heimdall never stops talking and you admire him and how talkative he is. heimdall seriously loves you so much he’s balance he loves to give you everything you need from gifts, communication to love and attention

heimdall and you are seriously best friends and lovers heimdall always comes to you as if he was a best friend ready to spill gossip from anything he seems like he loves having those gossip talks its his second favorite thing and his first is you “yeah thors at it again im surprised Sif hasnt said anything to him she never does its usually thrúd” heimdall rolled his eyes and took a bite out of his food “heimdall you know you cant reason with thor plus hes went through a lot” heimdall looked at you “yes but he handles it with his drinking problem could never and would never be me” you sighed and smiled heimdall is a hater to mankind

(NSFW mild warning ig)

sometimes when hes in the mood if you know what I mean *side eye* its just the best thing ever looking into your eyes and seeing everything you want he'll do it hes so very dominate he always wants to be in control I mean why wouldn't he be he knows the future and he knows what you want during it he loves everything about you I wouldn't say even your imperfections because to him you are the most perfect being ever he loves you he needs you. hes so obsessed with everything about you, his voice is so gentle even when hes being cocky during it, it makes you melt just by him already knowing hes good at what hes doing to you

he can be rough not so rough he doesnt want to hurt you because he is way stronger then you since hes a god and hes extremely fast it feels like you're going into another realm. heimdall loves when you're being vocal during it he wants everyone to know you are his and what you and him are doing that very moment sometimes he can be a asshole and make you cry during it if he doesnt make you cry did you really enjoy it? im sure hes so good with his hands I mean his long fingers says it all as soon as he gets his hands on your body prepare for the best feeling of your life. cant get over his foresight its so attractive seeing into the future he just knows what to do to you. his eyes are the only thing that glows during that moment he always keeps his eyes on you even when you try to look away he moves your face back to him he makes sure to make you look at him every second

when you want to be top and he allows it hes just a mess he cant stop blushing he just cant get over how good you look being on top of him no matter who it is he hates being looked down on but you he cant get over it he loves it so much just holding you and looking at you he cant get his eyes off you

overall heimdall is such a dream hes a tall, strong blond, hes a god and not only that his eyes are so beautiful you get mesmerized with only looking into then hes a asshole to everyone but with you he will always be your number one fan and the person he loves the most and it shows everyone knows how much that man loves you and would live and die for you because you are and always will be the one for him as he always says “until my heart beats for the last time only then will i maybe stop loving you” keyword maybe but we all know even in death he’d love you forever even when hes reborn again he will love

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i failed my presentation for AP Seminar for this i hope you all love this because that horrifying grade was worth it i love heimdall

if you guys want more let meee knowww !!!

#heimdall gow #heimdall #god of war #god of war ragnarok #heimdall x reader #heimdall gow x reader #heimdall ragnarok #heimdall ragnarok x reader #heimdall gow imagines #heimdall god of war x reader #heimdall god of war ragnarok x reader #heimdall god of war ragnarok #heimdall god of war imagines #heimdall god of war ragnarok imagines #god of war x reader #god of war ragnarok x reader #god of war imagines #god of war ragnarok imagines

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beautifulpersonpeach · 8 months

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Hello. How are you?

My ask is around fashion, styling and BTS.

This ask stems from Tae’s recent shoots which seem to show him experimenting but to be honest, I liked his Veutiful shoot more. He has that Lord/Duke vibe and his face card is also apt for that sort of shoot. I didn’t like the blonde hair on him and find everything else quite on the nose. As if there’s a deliberate effort to show a different side. It seems uncomfortable and awkward.

So. Who has had the most amazing jaw dropping ‘glow up’ (it’s the only word that comes to mind but I mean in terms of style and fashion) according to you? And Sir Jung Hoseok is not an option. Jimin is also not an option 🤭 Though I am not a boba-min fan. I prefer his hair blonde/under cut/PTD Seoul era. His album shoot was something else. And the Tailor of Chaos shows what he can do. Now I want him to show us something edgier. I’m thinking paint and bare body.

***

You don’t like the blonde hair on Tae?

Really?

Well, I suppose that's just as well. I happen to love the blonde hair on him and think it suits him better now when his face structure is more defined than it was a couple years back. And rather than him looking uncomfortable or awkward in his recent styling, I think he photographs very well.

But that's the beauty of diverse opinion. Onto your main ask though... I can't mention Hoseok? Why?

And no Jimin?

Anon.... you're kinda taking the piss, aren't you?

But alright, I'll work within those parameters. Jin is out of the question since he's not really been around for much of Chapter 2 so far.

My first candidate for best glow up is Kim Taehyung.

I don't know if it's Jennie... toute la vitamine E qu'il a reçue en mangeant de la chatte the balmy summer weather but Tae in my opinion looks the best he's looked in years. I didn't really care for the suited-up preppy look he had in previous years so I'm loving that he's switched to more casual but fitted streetwear recently. In more editorial shoots, he's also styled very well. Seems like working with Celine has its perks in that sense. I understand we disagree on this note, but I do think Tae has had the best glow up.

After Tae, I have to say Namjoon. I mean...

Joon is very consistent in his styling so that's not where I'm seeing the glow up. It's in his build and carriage. I feel shorter hair suits him best and all the hours he's been spending in the gym are paying off handsomely.

I've also noticed his skin has cleared up in recent months too... so maybe he's changed his diet or something? Idk what it is but he looks so much more delicious now than just a few months ago. His campaign shoots for Bottega Veneta also suit him perfectly. I'm hoping we see more styling in this vein when he drops RM4.

Next up, Yoongi.

This Vouge shoot was both a plague and a godsend. Considered tying my tubes for fear I'd spontaneously get impregnated if I stared at his knees too long. The thing about Yoongi is, he knows what he's got. He knows that for regular people, knees are knees. But that for him, knees are pale, supple, sweet weapons of mass destruction. And he wields it without mercy. Not like his styling in Valentino has helped either. He's been on a mission to wreck balls and ovaries since Chapter 2 started and not even 6 ft tall NBA players are exempt. So yeah, A+ styling from Yoongi, but he's always had this edge so in terms of relative change a.k.a. glow up, he ranks behind the others.

And then there's Jungkook.

...I've been cautioned I'm too profane where baby star candy is involved so will just note that he's hot no matter what he wears and move on.

That's my view on their recent glow up in terms of fashion, styling and overall looks Anon.

#fun asks #making me exclude the cuntiest members was a low blow Anon #but no harm done :)#bts #bangtan #hoseok #jimin #taehyung #namjoon #yoongi #jungkook

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matan4il · 8 months

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Idk if it will help that other anons fears but I did see the article you mentioned talking about how a lot of shows probably wouldn’t be back until 2024 at this point. I also read yesterday fox said that the only way for lonestar to be on air this year even in a shortened capacity would be if they start the process by the first week of October. I know OG is on abc now but I’d imagine it’s the same timeline for it and other shows on different networks. And I don’t see the strike ending by then. Which I as well am fine with because like you said the people on strike deserve to get what they are asking for so more power to them! Also, there is no guarantee we will get a season 8. And I believe most of the cast if not all of them are up for contract renewals after season 7 so no guarantee who will renew or not. So if season 7 turns out to be the last for the show or some of our favorites I’m fine waiting till 2024 to give them a full season send off they deserve. Not another….”experience” like the end of season 6 was and definitely not just a rushed 8 episode season. Not to mention if they go buddie they deserve the full season story for it. 2024 let’s them actually sit down and take their time and plot things out.

Hi Nonnie! Thank you so much for your additions!

I think you're pretty spot on. I mean, if it weren't for the strike, I'd expect there would be a s8, because unless the quality dropped sharply and drastically, 911 was still one of the scripted dramas that was well made and doing quite well for itself. But with the strike, everything is up in the air. It's still hard to foresee how this will affect things, since we don't know when we will get s7 and how it will be affected by the strike, which in turn will determine how well it would do and would s8 stand a chance. But on the off chance that we won't get one, and def if Buddie go canon during s7, I very much want them to take the time with it, really put into it all they have, invest in it as much as possible and give us the kind of goodbye to this show that it deserves, not a rushed (and therefore botched) last season.

In any case, I am still here, whenever anyone wants to miss our Buddie, Buddifer and fire family together! Sending you the best wishes and lots of hugs! (as always, my ask tag is here) xoxox

#ask #anon ask #buddie #911meta #911 on abc #911 abc #buddie meta #911 meta #911abc #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911onabc #911 #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #christopher diaz #firefam

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nightdemon04 · 8 months

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First try at angst let me know what you think!

I gave this fanfic a very personal spin so i hope it's not too bad.

Angsty? Comfort? Idk you can decide

Warning! Self isolation, mention of sh and sh scars. If any of these trigger you please don't read.

Atsushi Nakajima x gn reader.

Enjoy!!

I splashed water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Eyes puffy from my latest crying session, i took notice of the scars that are still there but atleast i didn't go that far this time. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone started ringing..

Probably Kunikida calling to see where I am, I really wish I hadn't plugged my phone in yesterday, it's been silent for the whole week. Now I'm going to have to explain to everyone why I'm missing for the week, not that any of them bothered to visit to see me. I'll just tell Kunikida I was sick and couldn't get out of bed.

I checked my phone only to see a lot of missed calls and unread messages, I'll answer later. I can't be bothered right now. I lay back in bed staring up, I don't know what happened for me to feel like this. I guess it started when I saw Dazai and the others in a bar without me, they couldn't even bother to invite me. It wasn't even their fault I was away on a mission but it just reminded me of my past and how that went.

Now i'm here talking to no one, going back to how it all was before i joined ADA. I always thought it was normal until i met the people I know now, I can't help let the past haunt me and ruin everything I've build so far.

I should probably atleast text Atsushi, he's probably worried sick about me. I'm suprised he hasn't shown up on my doorstep but I understand. I do live quite a bit away from him. I'm also glad he hasn't shown up, no idea what I'd do. I'm scared to face him. He's the love of my life, he's been there for me since he joined. He gave me the best birthday gift even though he didn't know me. I love him with all my heart so i don't want him to see me like this.

I rubbed my eyes hoping for the tears that I felt building up to dissappear. After a while i fell asleep again, only to be woken up by knocking on my door. I groggily open the door only to see Dazai. "Dazai? What are you doing here?" He pushed me aside and walked inside. He turned to look at me, grabbed my shoulders and started talking. "Get off ur ass, stop pitying yourself and get something done." i looked at him in shock unable to say something.

I felt the tears coming up again. Dazai kept staring at me. he wiped them away.

"Staying home and pitying yourself won't help you, it will make everything worse. Go work or go on a date with Atsushi, go to a store, go to a dog park, i don't know but stop it." He looked at me calmly but there was another emotion hidden deep inside of him. I couldn't say anything, just staring at him. He slapped my cheek softly snapping me out of it and i started nodding and softly said a "yes Dazai."

He looked at me so serious, I've never seen Dazai like this. It's honestly scary to see him like this. "I'll come to work tomorrow i promise." He suddenly smiled. "Good u need to help me with paperwork!" he winked at me.

Ofcourse what else did i expect. Suddenly his face dropped again "Y/N.. Don't let whatever happend stop you or push anyone away. Everyone was worried sick about you, come to us when you need help don't just isolate yourself." i nodded and hugged him tightly.

I felt him tense but slowly hug me back. "Don't ever hesitate to ask for help or advice, just don't wallow in self pity that's just stupid." i nodded again and let him go, he walked to my fridge and took out a bottle of water.

"I'm going now, i better see you at work tomorrow" he was almost past the door when Atsushi came inside panicking. "Y/N i saw your door open are yo- Dazai?" Atsushi is here now too? Just my luck.. "Hello and goodbye Atsushi" with that Dazai left quickly and Atsushi turned to me with confusion.

I just lifted my shoulders i didn't want to expose Dazai or even explain it all. "What are you doing here Atsushi?" He looked at me nervously. "I came to check up on you.. You haven't answered any of my texts and haven't been at work so I've been worried." He cares?

I decided to stop it here i might make a second part though. I've been struggling a lot with life so do excuse the rare updates.

Also I'm working on some headcannons but for some reason i just can't think if anything I'm going to ask some friends to help me cus i really don't have any idea how to tackle that. Either way i hope you liked the fic!

Stay healthy and safe!

Drink enough water and eat too!

#atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bungou stray dogs #atsushi x reader #atsushi nakajima x reader #bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #bsd x gender neutral reader #atsushi x you #atsushi x y/n #gender neutral reader

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sidhewrites · 6 months

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Sixteen! Man I have no clue if this is even engaging anymore but I'm having fun. Some more implied violence against animals, but like again, Renfield is ultimately fine and just confused and scared.

Project Info

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

I barely get the door shut before Magnus lands on me, swearing and snarling like an animal as he tries to claw at my face. But while he's more agile, my arms are longer, and no matter what Magnus does, he's still in the body of an old, feeble cat. He gets a few scratches in, narrowly missing one of my eyes, before I hold him aloft, hissing and spitting. When he realizes he can no longer get to my vitals, he turns his rage on my hands and wrists, shredding the skin and biting down.

I react without thinking. I throw him across the room. Mercifully, he lands on the couch, and slides off onto the floor with only a light thump, but my heart stops all the same. I leap over the back of the sofa, and bend over, about to pick him up and coddle him, but Magnus only chuckles.

"What a vicious girl," he says. "I didn't think someone so young could do a thing like that."

"Leave us alone!" I shout, and reach down, thinking to scoop Renfield into my arms.

Magnus twists and bites me again, drawing more blood. There's a sick delight in his eyes. When he releases me, he flees to the top of my bookshelf, knocking over the last thing up there -- a plant in a plastic pot, that clatters to the ground. I barely get out of the way in time, only to step on something fragile, and feel it crunch beneath my feet. When I risk a glance down, my heart drops. A picture frame of Josie and myself on one of our favorite outings, laughing at the camera with cotton candy stuck in our hair. Mud smears the photo. There's no saving it.

"What's your name?" he asks, as if he hadn't just attacked me twice.

"What?"

He makes a sound like tsk-tsk. "I asked your name. I can't keep calling you girl, can I?"

Something in me bristles on instinct at being talked down to like that, but I don't know how else to respond than saying, "Uh. Kaz. Pine. Kaz Pine."

"Your name's not Kaz."

"If I tell you my birth name you're gonna use it. I'd rather you didn't."

He sniffs dismissively. "Look, Kaz, I'm going to make things very simple. I want the world to be quiet."

"Simple. Yeah."

"There's nothing but noise, and there's been nothing but noise since those damned mines opened up. Take me somewhere quiet to live out the rest of my eternal life, and I won't try to kill you in your sleep. Deal?" (Make this less melodramatic.)

"Leave us alone, Magnus. Leave my cat alone -- he doesn't have anything to do with this."

"Hm, no, I don't think I will. I quite like it in here, actually." He leaps from the bookshelf down to the table. "Spry in a way humans never were. I wonder if I'd do well in the woods."

My heart leaps to my chest, imagining Renfield out in the woods alone. If the coyotes don't get him, something will. He wouldn't last long.

"We're going to stop you. I don't know what you're planning, but we will."

[idk. Scene happens.]

Magnus laughs, a wicked and hateful cackle. The lights flare overhead, and then go out with a pop, leaving me with only the light filtering up from the street outside.

Suddenly, Renfield's eyes dilate. He looks around, ears flat, and vomits up another wad of black bile. I run to his side, catching him before he can run off the table and risk cutting his feet on the glass. Terrified, he burrows his face into my arms and desperately tries to calm himself with heavy purring.

I glance at my phone, abandoned by the door. I need to file a police report, or at least the building manager, but I don't know what I'd say. Hi, my possessed cat destroyed everything. Yeah, that sounds sane.

I need to do something. I need to call someone. Somehow, Renfield's fur seems even lighter than it had when I first came in. I tell myself it's a trick of the light. But when Josie comes to get me hours later, I'm sitting in the waiting room of a 24 hour pet hospital with gauze wrapped around my hands and arms, phone sitting uselessly on the low table in front of me. Despite any misgivings I might have had, I've called the Haunted Archivists ten more times, growing more frantic with each voicemail, desperate for someone who knows what they're doing to come and help.

I don't want to tell her that. I don't want to tell her anything.

The bell jingles when she opens the door, and she runs to my side in an instant. "Oh my god, Kaz. What happened?"

I shake my head, face pressed into her shoulder. "I don't know. I got home, and then he--" my voice catches, and I squeeze her tight. I'd given her a rambling, frantic explanation over the phone, barely making sense. In the end, all I did was tell her where I was, and she ran right over.

"Look at me," she says, pulling back, my face in her hands.

I snivel, letting her push hair out of my face and wipe my tears away.

"We're going to get him out of there. I don't know what he can do, but we can't let him stay We already know who he is and what he wants. Now we just have to figure out how to get rid of him. Right?"

Stupidly, I think about the movies. Dramatic exorcisms that hurt the victim as much as the demon, leaving everyone involved scarred forever. Renfield is already such an old, fragile cat. He barely knows where he is half the time. I shake my head, starting to plead, "We can't do that to him. We can't -- we can't do that--"

"We'll figure it out. We'll find something. Okay?" When I don't answer, she asks again, "okay?"

I nod. "Okay."

Josie pulls me back in, holding me tight. I don't know how long I stay there until the doctor steps out, bandages on his hand, blood already seeping through. He seems nonplussed. It makes sense, no doubt. He sees much larger animals who lash out than an old kitty, but I can't help but worry if it's infected or something.

"How is he?" Josie asks, keeping an arm around my shoulders.

When the doctor doesn't answer right away, I start to feel sick, and nearly stand up, ready to argue. I don't know about what, but it's got to be wrong.

But then he sighs. "I know you'll hate to hear this, but we don't know. We've taken a few blood samples, and we'll run a few tests. When your regular vet's office is open, we'll reach out and see if they have any insight, but..."

Josie nods. "How's his breathing? His vitals, or temperature, or...?"

"He's got a bit of a heightened temperature, but his breathing seems acceptable considering his medical history."

"Can I take him home?" I ask miserably, and Josie squeezes my shoulder.

The doctor sighs. "Let's keep him here until his temperature goes down. We'll see if we can get him to drink anything, and see if an inhaler will do him any good. Okay?"

I swallow back anything else, and nod. There's nothing else to say. The doctor's right. He should stay here.

But once I've paid the bill and stepped outside, I freeze. "What if Magnus...?"

"Then Magnus," Josie says, though she's lacking conviction. "Better to keep Renfield safe than keep the ghost a secret. Right?"

I want to argue. I want to take my baby home. He hates the vet. He hates being away from home. He's scared.

"Right," I say. "Right."

When we get back to my place, I realize Josie's right. Renfield can't come back to this. My place has been destroyed. The posters on the walls, the furniture. And that's just the living room.

"Christ," Josie says, taking it all in.

"I'm sorry..."

"No. No, it's okay. Have you slept at all?"

I let out a short, mirthless laugh.

"Sorry. Look -- go wash your face. Come on. Let's get you cleaned up. Then we can do the rest."

I let Josie guide me to the bathroom, and wince at the shattered mirror on the medicine cabinet. She makes quick work of moving the larger shards out of the way, and sits me down on the edge of the tub. Despite everything, I can't help but relax as she tends to me. She's always had a knack for caring for people. Patching up wounds, caring for them when they're distressed. She wipes my face and arms gently with a washcloth and warm water, careful not to press too hard. I can't help the stinging behind my eyes. Before too long, I'm crying again, hot tears running down my face, but she just wipes my nose and continues her work, disinfecting the wounds and covering them.

A stupid thought crosses my mind, a memory that still makes me smile despite the bitter sweetness that comes with it. "Remember when I got that first-aid kit?"

She smiles, nodding as she presses another bandage to my forearm. "I was ready to drag you to a drug store at midnight when I found out you didn't have one. I still don't know how you managed beforehand."

"I'm invincible," I say without thinking, and she laughs.

For a minute, we don't say anything. I look at her, tending to my wounds so carefully. Fighting the urge to apologize any time I flinch or hiss when she presses a bit too hard.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I've been an ass."

She looks up, mouth open, about to counter with her own apology -- then stops. We're alarmingly close, and for a split second, the thought occurs to me to lean forward. It wouldn't take much -- just a tilt of my head.

For half a second, I think I might actually do it.

But I look away, and so does she.

"Yep," Josie says, and stands up to toss out a few bandage wrappers, avoiding my gaze. "We...we both have, probably, but it's nice to be able to say I told you so."

I nod, pursing my lips. "You get bragging rights for life."

It's going to take time to get over her, but we both know it's for the best. As attracted as we are to each other, Josie and I don't have compatible personalities for a romantic relationship. We would only hurt each other worse if we even considered getting back together, and despite Lucy being something of a rebound at first ... I really do like her. I don't want to mess things up with either of them. Maybe if we could figure out how to go a few days without fighting after all this is over, we could be friends again. I've never been good at thinking before I speak, but I could always try. After all, if ghosts are real, who knows what else is possible?

When Josie's finished with me, I feel like a mummy. Gauze wraps around both my forearms, with adhesive bandages on more than half my fingers, as well as my face, neck, and chest. I guess I should be grateful Renfield's mouth was too small for Magnus to go for the jugular. But now that I'm back in one piece, that leaves the rest of my apartment to deal with.

Josie doesn't hesitate. She goes right out the bathroom door, but I hang back until she turns around.

"You coming?"

I don't want to. Everything is destroyed. There's so much to do -- the glass on the floor, the dirt from the plant, the furniture ripped up. There's too much to tackle, and I wouldn't know where to start.

But Josie does. And she knows me well enough to help me figure it out, too.

"Go get the vacuum. I'm gonna go try to save Winnifred."

"Who?"

She reddened. "It's what I named your fern."

"What?"

"I read that naming your plants helps create a bond and nurture growth."

"Oh. Okay." If I had more energy, I would try to logic out exactly why that didn't make sense -- but then I remembered we have studies that show talking to plants help them grow, and some of them seem to have some kind of memory. I try that whole thinking before I speak thing, and nod. "Okay. Go save ... Winnifred please."

She smiles uncertainly, and heads off to the living room, while I make my way to the closet in search of the vacuum.

It's slow going. As soon as I'm in the front room, my willpower disappears in an instant as the enormity of the damage sinks in. Nearly all my furniture has been damaged -- torn up fabric, scratched wood. Josie doesn't wait for me to sit down and take it all in, however. She points me towards the broken glass and puts me to work.

She calls Mr. Ngo for me, letting me know I won't be coming into work and apologizing on my behalf. She almost volunteers to come in and do my shift for me before I can take the phone from her hands, mumble out at last apology, and hang up before he can launch into an interrogation about my current state.

I let her heat up Pop-Tarts in my toaster for breakfast, but as soon as I sit down, all the energy falls away, and I almost fall asleep then and there.

"Go to bed," Josie says.

"But...?"

"Go on. I'll keep working at this, okay?"

"What about tonight?" We're supposed to meet up with Lucy and figure out our next steps.

"I'll call at seven to see if you're up for it. Okay?"

It's enough, I guess. I let her send me off to bed. Josie just barely starts work again before I'm all but dead to the world. I wake up an hour before dawn to a few texts from Josie letting me know what happened. She'd called a few times around seven as promised, to no answer.

Hey, guess you're asleep still. I'm going to the graveyard in an hour. Text me if you wake up.

Obviously, I didn't.

Around eight, she texted again: Heading out now. Hope you're feeling better.

Then, two hours after that: I didn't see Lucy, or any other ghosts, but IDK if I ever will. But I talked to the night and said what happened, and I think she heard me. I think she's worried about you.

Finally, thirty seconds after that, Is that weird to say? Sorry. I hope it's ok. Text me when you're up, and let me know how you feel.

Good night, Kaz. I'm glad we're still friends.

I send a text back, I'm alive. Thank you. Good night/morning.

And as much as I want to go back to sleep, I have no choice. My normal shift starts in half an hour. I drag myself out of bed, take a shower, and prepare for whatever hell is waiting for me at work.I don't want to know if the Haunted Archivists got any of my calls. More than anything, I hope I'd somehow been calling the wrong number. If nothing else, I hope I have an hour or two of mowing the grass alone to figure out what to say.

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#writing #writeblr #writers #writers on tumblr #graveyard lesbians #nano #nanowrimo #nano 2023 #nanowrimo 2023 #spilled ink #first draft #mystuff #my writing #original fiction #wlw fiction #wlw romance #supernatural romance

7 notes · View notes

georgieluz · 6 months

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Hey

do you write any fan fictions? If so do you think you could give us a little overview of what you’re currently working on? No pressure.

hello! thanks for the ask, i do indeed write fic! ofc i can give you an overview of what i'm working on atm :) i tried to not make this too long as it's just an overview, but feel free to ask me to expand on any of these! i do actually wanna talk more about my fic but i just never know if people wanna read posts about it or just wait until i upload the fic itself. do people want extracts? information about aus? character stuff? idk??? lemme know if you wanna know more, i'm chucking in a read more too bc it got a bit long

a hbo war f1 au. [working title: you're crashing, but you're no wave]. okay, so this is probably the biggest scale thing i'm working on atm. it's multi-chaptered and atm i've been writing it in an almost serialised format, since it's got quite a few narrative strands and numerous characters from both band of brothers and the pacific. i probably would have included some gen kill characters too, but i hadn't watched the show when i was planning and starting to write this, and i don't wanna add too much more into it, so i've stopped myself. i've written a lot for this one and i'm considering posting a few chapters soon. if you wanna know about any character's role in this one feel free to send me another ask because i'd love to talk about them more!! some are drivers (we've got rookies, seasoned drivers, eight-time world champions, the lot!!), some are behind the pit wall in management and engineering roles, some are retired drivers, etc etc. but yeah, it's andy haldane's final season before he plans to retire and let's just say the racing world has decided it's going to be the most chaotic yet! i'll drop some clues about what it entails: snafu and liebgott scrapping their way into weekly dnfs until one of them is kicked from the team. rookie driver eugene sledge having to deal with the consequences. webster somehow making it into his dream team with his dream teammate, yet, his focus remains on beating one person and one person alone. eddie jones is the very successful (and very hot) team principal of andy's rival team. hoosier is there being his usual self. leckie is the f1 journo who somehow knows everything about everyone and boy, the fans love it. we also have the much-loved fan favourite george luz and his race day engineer carwood lipton! retired-world-champion-now-team-principal dick winters and his ex-teammate boyfriend lewis nixon! and i also have a fair few OCs for this au, they aren't written romantically with any of the boys though, but i love them a lot! i might do a post about them later.

next up, is my k-company space pirates au! [working title: one way trigger (step inside the sun)] ok so it probably won't sound very piratey right now, but stick with me, ok? this is actually the one i'm enjoying writing the most right now. i've drafted all the chapters (6-8 depending on whether i cut this one incident or not) and i've written a lot for this too, so i'll probably be posting this one first. very basic synopsis: eddie jones is an expert in data retrieval. eddie jones is also on the run, and a very, very wanted man. maybe the most wanted fugitive in the galaxy. through an unfortunate twist of fate, romus burgin has been dragged along for the ride. andy haldane was a highly respected intergalactic officer, a captain loved by his men and the authorities above them alike. he also risked it all to aid in their escape. now, he's harbouring them both on his grandfather's old and battered ship, picking up a small ragtag team along the way. whilst they're trying to lay low, a distress call, with a code embedded into the message, is sent directly to the ship. one of the team recognises the code and realises it could only have come from one other person in the whole universe, someone asking for his help, someone he could never say no to. it's the worst time, possibly ever, for them to go on a rescue mission but somehow that's what they're doing.

then we have, an early 2000s battle of the bands au. this is mostly band of brothers, but a few people from one company in the pacific does have a role in the narrative, i'll leave that as a surprise though. basically, george luz enters his newly formed garage band into the campus annual battle of the bands competition, certain that they have a decent enough chance at winning. his bandmates disagree. especially after they see who they're up against. this is actually my other favourite to write at the moment! maybe even more so than the k-company space pirates one. it's a chaptered fic, but i'm trying to keep it contained and not super super long. i'm hoping to keep it at around 6-8 chapters max, but i have a bad habit of not sticking to my drafts, so we'll see. but yeah, i'm having a lot of fun with this and feel free to ask me about who the band members are and other roles that other characters will have!

call it fate, call it karma. aka, my 'eddie jones made it home from the war, but andy haldane did not' oneshot. i'm almost finished writing it, i just have a fair bit of editing to finish up.

the ballroom extravaganza. my winnix spy au! the intelligence officer to secret agent pipeline is too real and lew must suffer the consequences, i'm afraid! i've got this drafted and partially written as a two-shot but it's begging to be expanded on, so i've got it waiting in limbo right now, whilst i decide what i'm gonna do. someone make the decision for me please?

i have two male OCs that i've written for liebgott and nixon, if you wanna know more about them then i'm happy to talk about them and introduce them, but i'm not sure how much people would wanna know so i'll wait.

i have another OC based off a friend that i'm almost finished writing a thing for, i just have to change some things to fit the overall series better.

i also have a silly little thing that i wrote up bc i got depressed and hyperfixated on the tv show bondi rescue for the last two weeks resulting in me basically planning a whole bondi rescue lifeguard au for the pacific boys. i have no idea if anyone other than me would be into that so it'll probably stay in my scrivener files lmao

then i just have some vague gen kill things partially planned but they need a lot more work before they see the light of day lmao. but yes, they're all fucking bradnate. apart from the one bradnatemike thing that my brain begged me to consider, which i promptly gave in to right away.

anyway, sorry i know that was supposed to be an overview but it turned into a very long overview. oops.

#julian's inbox #julian writes #hbowar f1 au

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yesyourstalker · 5 days

Text

Warabie: ........*sigh*...........

Shimi:.....mmmm

Cirrina:....*snoring*... Hmm ....hm

Ikkan: ........................... She snores like your dad

Merv: hehehe

Cirrina:...mmmmm no I don't..

Merv: *reading*..............hm......oh! ikkan look we're home..... look at that!

Ikkan: wow.....look at all that green. It's been a while since I've seen that much grass........

[hello passengers we've landed in krillarney thank you for choosing the Marlin airport]

Shimi: ugh finally....

Warabie:....*huuuuf*... let's go... So where do we rent a car or something?

Ikkan: we still need to take the ferry.....

Cirrina: *yawn*.... did we land?

Ikkan: Yeah.. let's get out of here. let me get your bag for you.

Shimi: so where do we need to go?

Warabie: You said something about a ferry

Merv: yep we need cath the bus and head over to the dock catch a ferry and head over to the house. When's the next bus coming?

Ikkan: the next bus in 2 hours.....

Shimi: 2 hours? ....ugh!

Cirrina: ok so what do we do?

Ikkan: idk walk around the City. We are 30 minutes away let me just get a scuber.

Warabie: you need to get clothes and everything anyway dad.

Shimi: mmmmm.... alright......

Ikkan: is Mrs Cuddle still open?

Merv: yeah they're still serving food. I warn you now so brace yourself cuz Mrs. Cuddle has been waiting a long time to see you again.

Ikkan: I know

_______________________________________________

Gai: woooow .... So this is all yours. All of it?

Neta: yeah......*huff*...... Yeah it's all mine. I didn't get that much merchandise. I just got a couple t-shirts and a figure, two figures, actually......*huff*.. ..It's actually quite rare. I checked online. They're selling for $500.

Gai: is this your old bass..... All beat up huh? You must have put a lot of love into it

Neta: I I-i did....... Well actually my uh ....my partner he uh......... He put a lot of her love in it. He took it to most of his tours so......

Gai: yeah I heard metalopod guy....... makes sense he seems like your type

Neta:...yeah...hehehe..heeee...*sigh*.........

Gai:...... Really nice place you have here. It's the same size as our house... That's not saying much about our old house....... What's that room

Neta: oh uhhhhh that's that's my daughter's room.....

Gai: oh yeah..... little Cici how old is she now 12?

Neta: she's 15 now

Gai oh..

Neta: Dad why are you here? Do you need money or something? Did you and kat fight or something?

Gai: what?! No! A man can't talk to his son after 18 years of no contact. No phone calls no visits or anything, didn't even get to see my granddaughter.

Neta: as if you ever tried to reach out to me

Gai: well how was I supposed to do that? How was I supposed to reach out to you when you're running around everywhere?

Neta: well you know when you're so used to bouncing from house to house It's kind of hard to stay in one place

Gai: well you know you did have a choice to stay at home but You didn't want that. Nothing was ever good for you

Neta: The fuck do you mean nothing was good for me? You moved me out of the house when I was 6!! You can't even handle a 6-year-old?!

Gai: not you! You were terrible!! You were angry, you were mean, you were spiteful! Almost every week I'd catch you stealing something from me! Every day you'd always have to defy me!!

Neta: I don't know dad maybe if you were emotionally there for me and actually been a father!...

Gai: I did my best!

Neta: you did your best?! YOU DID YOUR BEST?! YOU FUCKING ABANDONED ME!! YOU WERE NEVER THERE!! EVERY CHANCE YOU GOT TO DROP ME AT MY AUNT OR A COUSIN OR AT PULPO'S HOUSE YOU DID!!

Gai:......

Neta: EVER SINCE MOM DIED YOU'VE TREATED ME LIKE I WAS YOU BURDEN JUST A NUISANCE THAT YOU COULD NEVER GET RID OF AND YOUR GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU WERE DOING YOUR BEST!! .....

Gai: YES!! I WAS DOING MY BEST YOU THINK I WANTED TO DROP YOU OFF ANYWHERE I COULDN'T HANDLE MY OWN PROBLEMS AND THEN I HAD TO HANDLE YOUR PROBLEMS ON TOP OF THAT I COULDN'T DO THAT SO I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO!

Neta:.....*sniff*...........

Gai: I wasn't the perfect father. I was emotionally distant I was neglectful and I was unavailable for a lot of things in your life.... .

Neta:...................

Gai:.... I'm......*sigh*..... I'm sorry..........I really am........

Neta:.....................

Gai: I just wasn't prepared to be a single parent..... I always expected Sydney to be there with me....... when she died.......... I..... I guess I just shut down....... I didn't know what to do so I didn't do anything.......

Neta:..........................

Gai: I just want to make things right.

Neta:..................... I don't think you can dad........I really don't............. The damage has already been done.

Gai:.......*sigh*........ I understand........ I just want you to know that I love you...............

Neta:.................

Gai: even though I had a hard time showing it....... I did.... I really did.... I wasn't there for you because I knew I would make things worse for you.

Neta:........................... So you dumped me in military school!?....................

Gai:.………….……....... When I enrolled you I just wanted you to be disciplined. I wanted you to have structure and order and stability all those things that I knew I wasn't able to give you............

Neta:....................................

Gai: when they assigned you to a combat Splatoon I-

Neta: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU THINK THEY WERE GOING TO PUT ME IN?!?!?! INTELLIGENCE?! ENGINEERING?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!??

Gai:........................

Neta: YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHERE THEY WERE GOING TO PUT ME DAD!! I WAS EXPELLED TWICE, HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, BAD MENTAL HEALTH!! DID IT EVER CROSS YOUR MIND THAT THEY VIEWED ME AS DISPOSABLE!!!

Gai:.......................I didn't. I honestly didn't

Neta: *crying*.I had to watch my friends die!!!...I had to watch strangers die by my own hand....*crying*......do you know what that does to a person???!!!..... I was 14!!....that place ruined my life!! That place ruined me!...*sobbing*.............

Gai:........*sigh*...........neta

Neta:...*sobbing*.......

Gai: ...................... come here...... alright..... I'm sorry...... I'm sorry..........

Neta: *sobbing*

[hour and 45 minutes]

Neta:.....................................................................

Gai:......................................…...............................

Neta: *sigh*....*sniff*...............

Gai: are you okay

Neta:.no..... I'm used to it tho......[stretch]......*uggg*..how long are you going to be on the surface?

Gai: uhhh I'm planning on staying for a short while...... just trying to get acclimated.

Neta: .......... maybe we can get something to eat.... Maybe catch up and try not to fight

Gai:.....................ok............

Neta:.....ok

_______________________________________________

Mahi: do you even know where you're going babe?

Mizole: yeah I'm just taking the shortcut I know where I'm going

ichiya: can't say the same thing about your career

Umishi: I can't believe you got 3 passes to the tidal wave festival. I heard they were sold out minutes after lunch?

Mahi: so The company that does these shows I think they're called 'meso company'. They work with neta and some other store owners. They help them sell their leftover merch and also let them sell tickets to their shows. One of the benefits is that they get vouchers every month so they can get a free pass to any show they all expire after the year is over

Umishi: ohhh that sounds nice you get a lot of benefits

Mizole: and he just gives you all of his passes?

Mahi: not all of them. He's saving five for Haar fest in the fall. I think it's some metal thing I don't know....I know Candi's going with him.......... Holy shit plucc-eeie's we need to go there!

Mizole: what? No we can't

Umishi: Great! Need to pick up some stuff.... I know we have a cooler but maybe we should get some more water and ice

ichiya: here buy a grill and charcoal and some food while you're at it. the food is expensive at festivals

Mizole: You can't buy your girlfriend food at the show.

ichiya: *glares* . .......... He's an extra 20. Buy yourself a tacky t-shirt.

Umishi: oh nice thanks [peck].... Be civil and don't start a fight. We're using his car.

Ichiya:..............................................................

Mizole:..............................................

Ichiya: soooo ...you and uhhh ..

Mizole: mahi

Ichiya: yeah them........... So did you meet them at the concert or did you just use the concert tickets that were meant for us behind my back?

_______________________________________________

Warabie: wow this place is actually nice. I thought it'd be a lot more........ehhhhhh.. old fashioned

Ikkan: That's because we're in the tourist area. Locals don't live here and people who do live here moved here...... well..... Some locals live here. Noji has an apartment here.

Merv: yep damn shame they'll never truly get the krillarney experience.......

Shimi: which part are you in?

Merv: Wrassel. Wrassel Krillarney

Warabie: they have a shopping district here..... Dad you want to go shopping for some clothes? Maybe a suitcase?

Shimi: might as well since I'm going to be stuck here for a month. Ugh.... Judging from the people here, I don't think they have anything nice to wear.

Warabie: see this why you're here to begin with dad you never have anything positive to say. Come on let's go I'm sure they have some designer brands

Shimi: yeah. for farmers......

Warabie:*eye roll* just text me when the bus is here

Ikkan: alright.......you want to look around Cirrina?

Cirrina: ok you said Uncle Noji lived here?

Ikkan: yeah........ but I think he's home.

Cirrina: please

Ikkan: *sigh* ok..... why do we go to Mrs Cuddles first, get something to eat. They have the best fried cod

Merv: yeah and watch Ida give you a long awaited tongue lashing.

Ikkan:mmmmm

Cirrina: hehehehehe

_______________________________________________

Gai: *eating* so they kicked you out of the band cuz you were sleeping with their old bass player?

Neta:..... Yeah if you want to word it like that.......*sigh*.....*eating*....it was just the front man who had a problem with it the other didn't really care.

Gai: do you at least get residuals

Neta: just a little I get a couple checks here and there. nothing much....

Gai: hmmmm........so how's your business holding up?

Neta:*eating*... It's going great..... opening a second location I'm planning on buying a house getting married lots to do

Gai: oh..........wow....... I missed a lot.....

Neta: yeah......... but......... you're here now I guess.......*eating*......

Gai: I'm surprised you want me back in your life

Neta: I don't

Gai: oh

Neta:.......... but you're here so might as well stay I don't care what you do anymore..... what made you decide to show up anyway?? it's not like I'm a successful musician anymore.... you need money or something?

Gai:.......................

_______________________________________________

Warabie: hey mahi!! How's your little road trip

Mahi: it's umnm

Mizole: why are you still mad that I dumped you!!?? like it's been years get over it ?!

Ichiya: because you didn't fucking "dump me" You fucking ghosted me!!! You ignored my calls! You ignored my text!! You blocked me almost everywhere and didn't explain why!! Dumping someone is telling them to their fucking face not just leaving them confused and feeling like shit!!

Mahi: it's fine we're almost to the festival do you want me to get you something. I can get you a shirt and make you feel better

Warabie: nahhh I'm fine

Mahi: so how's the farm?

Warabie: we're not on the farm yet. We're in the city. My dad was forced to come with us so we have to get him close. It's a long story.

Mahi: oh damn you have to stay with your dad? It just keeps getting worse for you huh?

Mizole: see this is why this is why no one wants to be around you!! You're so overbearing and you overstep constantly! You have no concept of boundaries and you have no understanding of personal space!!

Ichiya: what do you mean? I don't understand boundaries!? I literally did not talk to you for several fucking months because I assumed you wanted to be alone and you know what I did?! I left you the fuck alone!!

Mizole: checking someone's Inkstagram five times a day isn't leaving someone alone!

Mahi: just give me one second........ Hey babe can you stop fighting with your ex please. You two are killing the vibe. Also, you're driving way over the speed limits kind of making me nervous

Mizole: sorry babe

Mahi:....... So when you get on the farm send me a picture and also bring back some stuff

Warabie: like what?

Mahi: I don't know fruit? Or something.... maybe a calf!

Warabie:... Like you take care of that... I gotta go see ya .......*huff*...dad it's been an hour we have enough things lets try to find ikkan.....he mentioned Mrs Cuddles.......... hey uhhh hello do you know where Mrs Cuddles is? think it might be a restaurant.

Stranger: oh Mrs Cuddles yeah? Yee uh jest gotta up to dolly wea pass te fork in roed don lef wen ya reech the stock for coaches It's going to be in the ridt next to the fritter bakery...

Warabie: ..............thank you

Stranger: cod bless.

Warabie: ..................................

Shimi: see this we go to nice places when we travel .... You actually understand what they're saying.

Warabie: Dad....uhg...... I'll just search it.......[ping]....... Here it is...... 'Dollyway pass' is a street name okay.. I think I understand what he was saying.... let's go.

_______________________________________________

Mrs Cuddles: well well looky here. is that Merv?! Haven't seen you in months.... Did your wife ground you again hehehe.... I swear how you found that woman. I will never know

Merv: well I'm just here for a quick visit for the summer.... Just the regular please...... I also brought someone...

Ikkan: ....... hey Mrs Cuddles

Mrs Cuddle: No..... Absolutely not..... ikkan Kane!!........ It's been years since I've heard from you! No phone call, no visit, no email, not even a letter!

Ikkan: I'm sorry

Mrs Cuddle: your brother always drops by almost every month just to see me... And you can't even give me a letter. Not even a holiday card!.... Look at you as skinny as the day you left. Sit down.

Ikkan: hehe I've just been really busy....hehehe I'm really sorry.... I should write to you more....

Mrs Cuddle: you should! ... I've been taking care of you since you were nothing but ink! Changed your nappies and everything....... Still have that stain on my white blouse, it never came out...

Cirrina: hehehehehhehhehe

Mrs Cuddle: and who is this? Young lady well aren't you pretty?.... What's your name love?

Cirrina: Cirrina

Mrs Cuddle: cirrrinnnaa oh that's a lovely name. Is she yours

Ikkan: yeah she's my daughter my partner's the biological father

Cirrina: him and my dad are dating

Mrs Cuddle: oh..... ikkan... I have expected you to be in a relationship.........but then again I never expected your father either so hahahahaha. Have some food it's on the house.. Nice and fresh.... ikkan you drink?

Ikkan: not that much

Mrs Cuddle: stand up.........ummm...tall like your mother...... You can probably drink as much as she can too. I'll give you two mugs on the house

Ikkan: one is fine.........*sigh*........ You like this place so far Cici.

Cici: yeah it's nice. I like Mrs Cuddles she's nice

Ikkan: you'll see her again when I get married...

Cirrina: there's a lot of Octolings and inklings here and they look..... Native

Merv: That's because this place wasn't affected by the turf war.

Cirrina: really?

Merv: when the war started a lot of ink fish moved up here to escape the war didn't want to be part of it. Due to the landscapes we weren't affected by the flood all that much. A little bit of corrosion on the mountain.

Cirrina: so these octolings lived on the surface for their whole life? They were never underground? Like ever?

Merv:.....well a lot of them escaped from the underground...a lot of Octolings work in trade here. Most of these new buildings are made by octolings.

Cirrina: wow..... They don't have turf wars do they?

Ikkan: ehhhhhh..... It's not popular. But they do you have a lot of other fun stuff here

Warabie: ugh..... This place is confusing.....*huff*...... What the hell is a coach?

Shimi: *humpf*..

Ikkan: a coach is just what some call buses you'll get used to some of the lingo the longer you live here...........hey mom I oh-

Koi-koi voicemail: sorry, I can't be on the phone right now I'm currently on vacation and I'm probably drunk hehehehehe leave a message at the tone

Ikkan: ok.... Hi Mom, I made it home safe. Just wanted to let you know that. Enjoy your vacation.bye....... love you....... Let's head to the bus stop and hit the ferry. We're almost home.

Cirrina: Wait you promised we were going to visit Uncle Noji!

Ikkan: did I? I don't remember that.

Cirrina: but you said-

Ikkan: I say a lot of stuff sweetie. I can't keep up with the shit I say let's go

Mahi and Umishi bought so much shit from plucc-eeies they bought a tent and everything they got a lot of knick-knacks for everyone except for @fish-at-fish-fish-resort @catastropic

#Mrs. cuddle is not a cuddle fish she's actually a pollan fish #there's going to be a lot of pollen fish #neta is bpd coaded #Gai is a deadbeat dad but he's not like a terrible person.#I mean he is a bad guy but like at the same time he's not. he's kind of like BoJack if you get what I'm saying #plucky's It's just buc-ee's for Splatoon #If you don't know what buc-ee's All I can say it's not a gas station and it's not a truck stop. it's an experience #if they weren't in a car I feel like umishi and mahi would enjoy watching their partners fight.#they like the drama #ichiya and mizole were toxic and everyone hated them as a couple but they love the drama. they ate that shit up #every time they fought online it was an event #we're going to get to the farm and the festival next time I swear

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trashlie · 1 year

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hey, how are you doing? 💗 thanks for the link, that was a great read <3 and as usual, you make such great points! it does seem like yu jing's motivation is to stop yui before she harms any more people. i guess that makes sense, since that would also align (at least partly) with rand's goals. still, yu jing is not the type to sacrifice herself. she must have a way to protect herself somehow. given everything we know about the timeline of the story, we can assume the article won't take yui down completely but it WILL be impactful and yu jing will have to deal with the aftermath. and it's yui we're talking about, so i'm expecting the worst 😶 and yes nol's guilty plea changing her plans is very interesting and i have absolutely no clue why :/ there's so much we don't know about yu jing yet: her history with both the brothers, what rand did to help her, the details of her article… aah i can't wait to learn about all that.

what i also can't quite figure out yet is how alyssa plays into this. so she's exposed and her career is ruined. then what? does yui even need alyssa for something other than to control/torment nol? and helping a "problematic" (but also very talented) girl reach fame is probably the least evil thing yui has done, it happens in the entertainment industry all the time, so exposing that wouldn't do much damage to yui. i wouldn't even be surprised if yui immediately drops alyssa once she has no use for her anymore. but then… what would alyssa's role in the story be? idk it might be just me but i feel like there's still something missing here…

"her insistence on being there" that's the closest to what i had in mind, thank you! and i get what you mean. romance that is grand and untamed and consuming like a forest fire is beautiful in its own right. but for people like nolan and shinae, who have faced so much hardship and turbulence, a love that is soft and steady, that has a healing, illuminating glow feels much more monumental in a way. like a quiet, peaceful, comforting place in the middle of a raging storm. and yes i LOOOVE how they're so well-balanced in their mutual efforts and care and how they're naturally gravitate towards one another. and it's especially obvious when compared to alyssa, who only takes without giving back, or even kousuke, who so often disregards the perspective and needs of the other person. that's why i like re-reading the first half of the formal a lot, those dynamics really come to light <3

"all these little moments that could just as easily remain platonic, except they’re stirring something up" YES!!!! i'm glad we're on the same page on minhyuk and platonic gestures, yay! and btw if you ever write that post about shinae and nol, even though it would be a tangent, i'd actually be curious to know what you think dieter's role in all this is. personally i'm undecided if shinae is genuinely crushing on him because she's drawn to his peaceful, calm, drama-free lol nature and emotional maturity (and hands), or if she's only crushing on him because it's safe to explore the possibility of romance with him and he has reassured her that he genuinely likes her at a time when she was so suspicious about whether her friends even like her (she even questioned minhyuk for a moment 💔) (and the sexy hands might be some kind of projection idk). and if verbal reassurance is part of it, then well, we just had the mutual "you're special to me" confession...

RIGHT i wanted to bring up the girlfriend thing too. shinae has been so adamant about making sure things stay platonic, but now alyssa is basically out of the picture, and the lines she drew are getting blurred, so where does that leave her? tbh i'd be overwhelmed and even a little scared if i was her. everything is happening quite fast! she's been closed off for a long time, she met nol like 3 months ago, took a lot of time to warm up to him, they've established their friendship a couple of weeks ago, they've grown close so quickly, now suddenly there is all this, whatever this is? and i'm probably overanalyzing but i do find it interesting that, in the hospital room, she doesn't hug him back. she doesn't object or push him away either so she obviously doesn't mind, and this sort of inaction (?) does read to me like a physical reflection of what's going on with her internally. the feelings are sprouting, but she can't quite process what's happening, and doesn't know what to do with herself just yet. but she also doesn't dislike this so she is just kind of going with it. then again in the very last panel in 219 we can't see her other arm so maybe she IS embracing him this time. one of quim's little details to keep us wondering i guess 👀

and please i was DYING when shinae blurted out she thinks rand is hot in front of both his sons in front of NOL who is a physical carbon copy of rand except younger and orange like girl… LMAO. (and btw yes on that moment between kou and nol; there are a few rare moments where the brothers almost… get along? it's very refreshing but in a tragic way. like a glimpse into an alternate version of the story where all the toxic conditioning didn't happen 💔)

oh god this got sooo long again i apologize!! i will try to make my future asks more concise. for now, i'm leaving you with this quote i found that makes me think of nol and shinae, i'm sure you'll understand why and appreciate it as well: tumblr. com/slavicafire/714146132919500800 (can't link it properly on anon, hopefully this'll work)

alright. take care!! -lil anon 😼

Lil Anon!!!!!! <3

I was holding off on answer this for a little bit because frankly the last couple weeks were trash and I had noooo energy and didn't want to reply until I could do a good one! I'm glad I held off, though, because there's something I can respond to MUCH BETTER now! Of course, that means this has FP 222 spoilers, so hopefully you've read! (or at least you stop here if you haven't, haha!)

It's funny how a couple weeks ago, we were still trying to piece things together "it probably won't take Yui down completely" "is it worth it for Yujing to risk her career and life?" and episode 222 came in like a wrecking ball, oh my god! I said it in my commentary post, too, but I DID NOT anticipate how much this expose was covering! All along we've talked like this is about Yui and perhaps the Hiraharas in general, but it was largely centered on her. Now, we see it's so much bigger than we'd yet realized, that the nasty, gnarly roots go deeper.

I think it's also so much clearer now why Yujing is going after this story - what it means to her, and her quest for the truth. I imagine by the time she was in university, she already knew what she wanted to do, and was already pursuing that path, but I wonder how much what happened to Manli affected her future career? Or did it already exist before that? The school Sangchul attends that's mentioned in the article about the rampant sexual assault makes me wonder if it's the same school Nol attends, that Kousuke and Yujing attended. If that's the case, then Yujing probably knows of a number of girls she went to school with who were sexually assaulted and nothing came of it. Around half of the reports ended in an incident report when the victims couldn't be contacted or refused to speak about it - doesn't it sound like they were coerced into not speaking about their experiences, whether they were paid off or threatened.

So supposing Yujing went to a school with the elite uppercrust, the wealthy, the influential, the affluent, who committed these heinous acts and got away with it. She went to a school where she watched truth crumble beneath power and influence. Her friend was later in one of those same scary situations and it's very easy to assume that nothing came of it. That she, too, lives with the haunting nightmare of an experience out of control, that left her feeling unsafe. Suddenly it makes sense why Yujing is taking it on, it makes sense why she's willing to risk it all. Because now we see that the stakes are even higher than we thought before. This encompasses so much more than just Yui and the company. This is an attack on the Hiraharas and Kims, specifically, but also an attack on the affluent, those who use their privelege to prey on and hurt others for sport, those who get away with everything, because when it comes down to it, they are above the law. They control things. This is their world.

It's a much more risky expose than we'd really considered before, but it makes sense, why it's so important to her. Yujing is dedicated to digging up the the truth - the real truth, not just media play. She wants to reveal the dark and sinister underbelly of those who have money and influence. She wants to illuminate how many lives have been ruined, how many instances of depraved, deplorable behavior has gone unpunished.

I think this also gives insight into why Nol pleading guilty was such a benefit to her story. It didn't make sense at the time, but now that we are more aware of her angle, it's clearer. Nol is being charged for a crime he didn't commit, but one that Sangchul Kim did - Sangchul Kim whose own relative was removed from his role as CEO due to his own sexual misconduct allegations. She's airing the reality - that Nol was framed/charged for a crime he didn't commit. What did the investigation yield? There must have been one, right? I guess it never came to light because he pled guilty at the hearing? Either way, Nol pleading guilty can easily be seen as someone trying to minimize the damage. He knew that even if he pled innocent there was a likelihood that he'd still be charged as guilty and the sentencing would be worse. Although, maybe he wasn't even thinking of it that way. Maybe he simply just wanted to get away and jail was as good a way to do it. But even that is an angle to work with - that the Hiraharas were so unbearable, were so cruel, he was willing to plead guilty to someone else's crime to get away.

This might be where Alyssa comes into play, but I'm still a little leery of this part, and I'll try to get to that. But Shinae's story also reveals a similar scenario of a cruel act going unpunished. Alyssa walked away without any punishment and I imagine the girls who were part of that were never found out, because Shinae certainly didn't say anything and I'm sure Alyssa didn't, either. We know that I acknowledge Alyssa pushing Shinae was an accident, but the point still reasons that Shinae was being bullied and nothing came of it. Shinae got badly injured and it was just. Swept aside. Those teachers quit their jobs. And it seems very likely that Alyss'as parents paid off the school to keep quiet, to keep her out of trouble.

It's not fair, is it? Even though it was an accident, there was no closure for Shinae. Those girls went on living their lives and for all we know, they may never have even felt bad about it. And it's just yet another case of people with money or influence being able to pay people off, of never atoning for their behavior.

Yujing's story seems to be seeking out truth but also justice. She wants everyone to know how abhorrent they are. She wants to reveal the sinister inner circle of the affluent. Someone on reddit said they'd compared Yui and Gun Kim to Epstein and my god that's exactly what it is, and that's the story Yujing is risking it all for. She wants to air what they have been able to keep quiet.

But here's the thing about Alyssa and the yearbook. As far as we know, Nol has no indication that Yujing is working on this story. When he pled guilty, she mused that she was probably giving him too much credit, which sounds like she hasn't said anything to him about what she's working on. From his perspective, the interview she had with him had to do with his hearing, had to do with clearing his name, or at least offering something for the media besides trying to make him seem like a drug-touting rapist. So why did he give her that yearbook? Why did he steal it?

People suppose that maybe he saw something else in the yearbook but I don't think so? Quimchee is pretty good about how she draws the scenes and he didn't seem to really take notice or anything until he saw that math club photo with Shinae and Alyssa and pieced together their history. He didn't have a chance to go through it further because Shinae tried to take it back, so it feels like it must be about Alyssa. But I just don't get it? What does he stand to gain from taking the yearbook? Some people thought he was going to confront Alyssa but... I really don't think so. Is it possible he knows what Yujing is working on? I just... can't see how he'd know? I know he's perceptive and smart, but has he even seen anything enough to indicate it to her?

Was it more that he hoped that by giving her the yearbook she'd look through it and recognize Alyssa and look into it? Even that seems flimsy at best, so I'm still a little ??? about this. I'm sure there's something I'm missing, or just something that's yet to be revealed but I'm at a loss. Like, Shinae's story certainly plays right into what Yujing is writing about, but is that just a coincidence?

You bring up some really good points about Alyssa, too. It does feel like Yui's only use of her is to torment Nol, and that's not really working anymore now is, it it? He's only with her for their mutual benefit. At this point, if he wanted to end things for good, he could, because would he feel bad if she lost everything when she was no longer connected to him? Nol seems pretty done with her - he does not use light words when he talks about his resentment of how she acts and her admiration of Yui, and he's long-since given up on trying to sway her away. Does a part of him remember when they were really friends and he stays so she can have that? But I've also considered that maybe if he's "dating" Alyssa, she's the main target, the main one Yui tries to use against him? That feels flimsy, though, because Yui watches like a hawk and she is well aware of Shinae's affinity for Nol, and that he shares the same feelings, which is why he tried to keep that distance. But I don't know if staying with Alyssa is really protecting Shinae at all, so the questions remain.

Of course, like I said, I think Alyssa's involvement here may be more about her family, and the dirty hush money they may have paid. In that case, the hush money + Yui creating her career starts to look more questionable. But I think, and this is something that makes me feel sick if I think about too long, I worry there may be some... "sponsorship" involved. I desperately hope it's not the case, but I sometimes think about at the Kim formal when Alyssa danced with that old photographer man, because she needs to schmooze and she needs to appeal to the media. Have there been other scenarios where she's had to... rub elbows... with prominent media figures? Has she been forced into anything heinous as a "payment" for getting her name, her group out there? I REALLY hope not because no matter what Alyssa has done, that's too vile for me. But considering the material Yujing has collected, considering the number of cases of sexual misconduct that's been covered up (that's been ENABLED when you think about it), the idea of Yui taking a girl and pushing her into such disgusting situations doesn't seem at all outside the scope of what we're dealing with.

In an old curiouscat post, quimchee was asked which characters are virgins and which aren't, and for Alyssa she used the 😬 emoji. It just feels... hmmmm. Obviously at the time no one was thinking deeper about this and took it as maybe Alyssa has cheated on Nol but... I can't help but worry that this response is more because we'll see something far darker than people were thinking. I hope I'm wrong! But!

that's why i like re-reading the first half of the formal a lot, those dynamics really come to light <3

Oh my gosh, SAME!!!!! I honestly can't remember when I started feeling shippy feelings towards Nol and Shinae, but I think the formal really played a big role in at least creating that foundation. There was just something about the way Shinae found herself seeking security in him, and how he was able to anticipate her wants and needs when Kousuke was unable to, it was the hospital scene showing the way Shinae thinks of others when Alyssa puts herself first, and the way that quietly impacted Nol. It was just seeing the ways that they just suit each other and somewhere along the way it made me go "oh no" lol when I realized the shippy feelings were starting lol. I know I've said it before so it really doesn't need repeating but they just feature so much of what I enjoy in a good pairing, the way they meet those needs and compliment each other, the way Shinae learned friendship by emulating him and turns it around on him. I would love them regardless if there was never any romance, but I'm also a sucker for a pairing that grows out of friendship like this because in so many ways they are what the other one wants and needs.

But we all know what a sucker I am for parallels, so it was only natural I would start to feel so strongly about them lol, that I would delight in them getting these cute little moments together. You are so right that they both have just been through SO much they deserve so much soft, so much warmth. They've had enough stress and excitement lol they just deserve something healing. Clearly we are nowhere near that unfortunately, but I really hope that in time we'll get to see Shinae - and Dieter and Soushi! - become some kind of safe spaces for Nol. Romance is well and good, but more than anything I want to see Nol accept that they are a safe space for him. I just. I LIKE SEEING THEM HAPPY! I WANT TO SEE THEM COMFORTABLE! I know safe is a long way away for them, but god I want to see pockets of safe space, moments of safe space. I want to see them taking refuge in each other I want to see them becoming that pillar of support to each other! This is so far off tangent lol but I've just been thinking and talking about them so much today, and the development of their relationship, the roadbumps they still face, and I just! Want! Them to find safety and comfort in each other ;~; ROARS

i'd actually be curious to know what you think dieter's role in all this is.

GOD I do think about this a LOT and wonder about it. Like, it's impossible to like two different people at once, so I don't want to discount that it's very possible for her to be attracted to both in different ways, but it's also worth exploring because this is so very new to Shinae. She doesn't really seem to have had any experience with this and while it's easy for her to admit when she finds someone hot - like Rand LMAO - that doesn't mean you LIKE someone, you're ATTRACTED to them.

I think Dieter IS a safe space for her, both because he's such an unproblematic person who is very respectful of her boundaries and because he already likes her. This is something I struggled with a LOT when I was younger - how do you know when you like someone vs when you like that they like you? Shinae is very weak to Dieter's affection for her. The "date" at the amusement park revealed this, with the whole don't look at me like that lol. But I do think Shinae's crush has to do with safety, and why I think they could have been SUCH a wonderful pairing (and look if they date I do look forward to it! I may be a Stalkyoo shipper but I acknowledge the ways that Dieter could be a good relationship for her if that was what she wanted). A funny thing about Dieter and Nol is that both of them make her feel special in different ways, it's just that Dieter is actually more open about it. I think she seeks that comfort and safety because her own life has been so tumultuous and they last thing she wants is a tumultuous relationship. And right, he's been this stable pillar for her when she needs it. Everything about them is so fluffy and cute and warm! That's why I have no issue shipping them as well!

I do wonder where he fits into all of this because LMAO FIRST OFF my poor cinnamon roll is RIGHT THERE LMAO Would he ever have had the guts to dance with her like that? He's so aware of his "inadequacies" when compared to Nol (or rather, Yeonggi) who came off so personable and charming and has this easy chemistry with her, and we know he isn't blind, he's observant as hell and he sees it. Is he sleeping? Or is he awake confirming something he was aware of all along? I used to think that Shinae and Dieter would date first, and that maybe he'd go to school back home in Germany (because he's always homesick it just feels to me like he might do that) but I also didn't expect to see Shinae and Nol dancing around their feelings so soon so I have to rethink everything I thought lol. I thought Shinae might run away from her growing feelings towards Nol, especially because he has a girlfriend, but now she knows a. that relationship isn't really one and b. she is doing the exact opposite she has cleaved on to him.

And right, like you said, the I care about her confession is already out there. I was musing to.... someone... somewhere.... lol I've been talking about this a lot lately, aaahhhh! Here it is! That as much as Shinae is obviously more drawn to Nol now that he's not putting on his Yeonggi front, with all those sharp edges, the Nol he has presented to her unsoftened, I wonder how much of it also stems from what he said to Lil Buddy. Is it that his admission that she means just as much to him as he does to her has stirred something in her? Part of what she was struggling so much with was that lack of closure, and now she knows what was eating her up inside - is that part of why she reacts so shyly to his gaze? Because she knows, because they have shared something so vulnerable with each other, she has literally shared her scar with him!

And in that manner, how does this compare to or differ from how she reacts to Dieter's feelings? I think she is more drawn to Nol, but that could just because of the circumstances. I think, if given a choice, she'd want to pick something safe, but that doesn't mean it's where her heart would lean, right? I don't think Shinae is ready to process what she feels towards Nol, but if Dieter is awake, would there even be an opportunity for that? I've wondered if he would do something dumb, like date her even knowing her unprocessed feelings, but that feels rather dramatic for who he is, doesn't it? That feels like a very typical second lead cliche and I don't think that's the sort of thing quimchee would want to write.

Man, I really SHOULD write that post because I clearly have more to say about it than I thought lmao.

the feelings are sprouting, but she can't quite process what's happening, and doesn't know what to do with herself just yet.

Even before getting 222, I was already thinking that Shinae definitely didn't know how to respond at first. I think... like yes there's a lot of unprocessed feelings happening and this is the closest she's ever been with Nol, physically. I wonder if she'd still be like this if she didn't know that he doesn't have feelings for Alyssa, if she'd still be very caught up in all of this, because I don't think she's acknowledging the feelings at this point. If anything, I think there's more surprise about this, because he's always respected that line she drew. She was the one who tried holding his hands that time. When she tried to feel if he had a fever he batted her hand away. Now, suddenly, he's literally leaning on her. I think, too, it's the circumstances. He was the one who made her get up for the dance, but suddenly he's burying his head against her shoulder - she knows something is wrong, but she can only assume it's a result of his injury. Maybe she's already wondering if he was hiding something, like his pain (because I don't think she realized yet that it was his feelings he's hiding).

But yeah I think it's very much that they're in uncharted territory, it's all so new to her. I would lol really love to be in her head later, whenever she does find herself thinking about this. What IS running through her head? What does she think of her inability to hold his gaze, of the way she's flushing and getting so flustered? Is she going to chalk it up to the intensity? Is she going be able to face it? alfjkakfjkafjaf

I wonder lmao if she'll figure out the resemblance to Rand or not. Like, Idk that scene is eternally funny to me, Rand's carbon copy just there in front of her, spewing his drink all over her alfjkafkjafjkafj LMAO I... I wish we had more scenes between Nol and Kousuke like that but. Kousuke :/ never really allowed them huh lol. I get so sad thinking about what they could have been, had Kousuke not been manipulated, had he not been driven to compete for love and affection. :(

Tumblr did NOT want to show me that link btw and I am SAD! TUMBLR PLS LET PEOPLE SEND ME LINKS PROPERLY EVEN ON ANON I WANT TO SEEEEE ;A; But also haha as always no need to apologize for long messages! I... clearly... am not good at reigning myself in either LMAO but that's fine because I love these discussions!!!! Thank you for always giving me something interesting to think or talk about! <3

Edit to add that @amuraas was able to paste the link for me and ;~; Listen I am not kidding when I say this made me cry. It is so perfect, you are right! That absolutely sums up my own feelings about love lol but especially the love between Nol and Shinae. That he could see in her what she was unable to see herself, and just the same, she stays at his side even in this darkest of times to reflect back to him what he's unable to see past. It's absolutely beautiful! One of the things I talk about a lot re: Stalkyoo is the mirroring, and how they can see in each other what they're unable to see in themselves and god this quote just GETS THAT SO WELL. Love is someone who brings out the best in you, but it's also someone who can see the best when you're unable to and god I want to howl about this foreverrrrrrrr. Thank you for finding and sharing that! And thank you again to @amuraas for tracking it down for me when tumblr refused to!

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Lil Anon #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Yujing #Yui Hirahara #Gun Kim #Sangchul Kim #Randulph Skuli Hirahara #Dieter Becker-Wulff #SOOOOOOOOO many thoughts as usual lmao sooooooo many words #we got 222 spoilers in here so be mindful of that!#otherwise we got a little bit of EVERYTHING lmao

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throwaway-yandere · 2 years

Text

Spoilers!!!

my random rambling about to explain why ["No" (Yandere!Albedo/Reader)] is a mess lmao (and no i didn't proofread this, enjoy reading my unaltered agony):

Edit: actually nevermind i edited just one word cause I couldn't take the misspelling lol. There rest of these texts are still unedited except for that one specific word ( which is troupe to trope lol )

Writing albedo's pretty much a challenge because i pegged that he's the type of yandere that you wouldn't figure out he's one unless he confesses everything. He's popular, but a recluse. He's eccentric, but he can be trusted. Those are some characteristics that can make create such a disastrous slowburn yandere. And he likely confess after a long time just to have a record of your reaction (with a scholarly purpose in mind.)

Idk if I managed to make him subtle at all ;;-;; My goal was to make the reader think albedo is a green flag for most of it all while dropping hints that he aint idk if that worked out but oh well no beta we die like __ right?

It's not my proudest work that's for sure, but it's an interesting ride writing it so I thought I'd share lol (꒪ヮ꒪)

The fic was supposed to be inspired by Love Hypothesis. A friend made me read it in a sleepover and I jokingly suggested doing a yandere albedo version and I guess I'm a man of my word(?). I unfortunately had to change a lot since I can't see Albedo having a very intense strict "I don't want to produce mediocre scientists" mindset, and the reader is gn! here so they shouldn't have women-specific STEM struggles. Albedo's loved by a lot of people and he's rather lax when teaching Timaeus so I really can't picture him playing the "grump" character troupe. I have a habit of constantly checking character voice lines in the wiki to get a gist of who I'm writing and I just can't see him as an Adam Carlsen. Send help. (´；ω；｀)

And also a big "unlike LoveHypo" here is that this is a yandere story. It's bond to be toxic. It doesn't read like the source material anymore since it's not a grumpy/sunshine troupe, it's a reluctant stalker/suspicious individual dynamic, if that's a thing. Ironically, I think this is a first fic of mine where the reader lowkey wins in the end? Lmao. What. ರ_ರ

Also: I REVISED THIS FIC SO MANY TIMES YOU HAVE NO IDEA 😭😭😭 For unrelated reasons I got sick with quite the high fever in the middle writing the latter half as well LOL (≧▽≦). The fic was supposed to be more faithful to Love Hypothesis but of course that's scrapped due to reasons mentioned above but then I added that small ex-itto tidbit for fun and temporarily made the reader into a pure chaotic, reckless (and lowkey asshole) person so it'll be believable that the two were exes. Also SCRAPPED that partially because when I tried writing their dialogues with Albedo they're both going nowhere fast and it's turning into a real clownship ;;;;-;;;; wtf. Nearly had the reader call Albedo a dweeb in a dialogue.

Got writer's block with this story and tried writing something else and at that point I was writing 3 fics at once for no valid reason (and now an itto-focused side story for "careful, he bites" is nearly done lololol, I finished a short alhaitham fic before this as well, will prolly upload it tomorrow. The sagau au take I have might take a while). I'm very sorry for my absence! Life is absolutely hectic rn sigh

Also, here's the story header/banner i scrapped as well lololol:

Ain't this a mess lol.

ya know what makes this more hilarous?

i enrolled in an educ course in a state uni before i finished this fic lmfao--

so yeah, "why did they not fake date like in love hypo--" cause im a coward and it felt weird for me to write something about that considering my future possible profession hAHAHAH--

Edit:

#tag: no - albedo #ansytea-talks

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iwannaban0nym0us · 1 year

Text

rambley time - this ended up just being soccer probably gonna reblog w/ everything else so this isn't way too massive

i'm terrified i'm so fucking terrified, everything in my life scares me rn and i hate that because things should be good rn

so uh where do i start, i guess soccer makes sense because thats kinda what triggered this

my soccer team is disbanding,,,, again,,, basically last spring the team disbanded because we didn't have enough people who wanted to keep going w/ the club (a bunch of people dropped soccer, a few went to another club) but what me and 3 of my closet teammates did is merge w/ the team a year younger than us (meaning the other team is playing up a year) but since that team is a year younger now they're hitting the point where people are dropping (plus one person my age is quitting for running and another moved to a better club)

i'm so so scared because this time there's no younger team to merge with and that teammate who's dropping soccer for running i've been playing with her for like 7 years,,,,,

there's two main reasons i love this club, 1) the people, 2) it's not quite as committed as a full on club so i have the flexibility to do robotics (which is a huge time suck)

but now i'm terrified because i don't know what comes next like i always kinda thought i'd play w/ this club through high school and now i'm actually coming to terms w/ the fact that i might not be playing non-school soccer like soon

obviously i do have options, like i could go try out for the clubs that my teammates are trying out for but those are ~30min drive away from where i live since i moved while i was on the team and only stuck with it because of the people and with robotics i don't think that is an option because i don't have the time for a fully committed team that far away

another option is a club team in the city i live in and i've been talking w/ a school friend a bit who also plays and we might try and go try out for some teams together but i'm still not sure i want to play club and even if i do want to i might only want to if its with that friend and we might not make the same team(s)

theres also the option of just playing rec in the fall and maybe spring select in the spring (school is in the winter) and honestly i think thats the most likely thing to happen and idk why but that kinda scares me too maybe its because i've been playing club so long and i think i'll feel like less of a soccer player if i can't keep that up but honestly robotics is by far my priority so i think i could live w/ it if i had to

the most terrifying option is that i just stop playing non-school soccer it's pretty unlikely but its still like an actual possibility and i don't think it ever has been before so coming to terms with it is,,,, a lot,,,

so like the soccer thing is really on my mind and whenever i bring it up with like my parents or my friends i feel like they expect things from me. like today my dad was insistent that we get the info for the club that some of my teammates are trying out for (despite them probably gonna end up on a younger team than me) even tho i was saying no since thats the one option i have actually ruled out. and then yesterday i brought it up around a friend and he was like you're so good why don't you just go join another club team and didn't seem to understand that its so much more complicated than that. and also like my friends make fun of me for being a jock and just like expect me to be a soccer person and idkkk aaaaaa

another thing that scares me about joining another team is coming out again because sports are so fucking gendered i hate it, and like its more than just name or pronouns, i love my current team because they fucking cheered when i came out (they were glad my announcement wasn't that i was leaving the team lmao) but even tho i live in an accepting area there's no guarantee a new team would be accepting, also i finally trained my coach to stop calling us 'ladies' or 'girls' and i'd have to do that all fucking over again, and i really really don't think i could deal w/ being forced to wear a fem cut jersey again so i'd have to figure out how to get a men's uniform all over again w/ the new team and going back to the accepting point being in the closet isn't even really an option because i just look so viably queer (plus i have a girlfriend lol)

#me #personal #soccer

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mikelogan · 2 months

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9, 24 and 27 for the creator asks!

9: Would you say your style has changed a lot since you first started creating? oh for SURE. regardless of what i consider my start bc i used to gif from like 2015-2017 and then i didn't start up again until april of 2023. this time around, i have learned SO much, and i'm sure part of that is just bc of how much gif styles have changed in the last 6-8 years, but also bc i joined a couple gifmaking networks and have gotten so much help through them, found so many resources, and learned tons! to compare, here's one of the sets i was proudest of from Back In The Day. now, it's definitely not horrible, but the coloring and the slow framerate make me borderline homicidal. this one is marginally better, and i remember thinking i was really Doing Something with that typography 😂 here are some of the sets i made early on in my Return to Gifmaking this past April/May. this was one of the first times i'd ever combined multiple gifs into one and girl. what the fuck happened. why are the framerates Like That? what is this typography? i had no business making early l&o gifs 540px wide bc the quality is bad enough at 268px 💀and i think this one is a good example of i got the spirit! the execution just wasn't quite there. i like the main gif with the overlay of the sky, but i'd do the typography very differently and idk if i'd do it in b&w? i could try and remake it tbh, it's been 9 months since i made and posted it.

24: What’s your step by step? How do you organise your editing process? buckle up 😂

make clips of the scene(s) i want to use if i don't already have them

import video frames to layers

action 1: grouping and timing (groups all layers and sets frame rate to 0.05)

delete any extra frames

crop to whatever dimensions i'm using

action 2: sharpening (two smart sharpen layers) + vivid sharpening (i used this tutorial and i usually keep that folder at 30% but sometimes drop it down to 10-15%)

coloring! it depends on what i'm giffing, but i color everything from scratch at least the first time. i save a LOT of my psds, like there's one psd that i use for almost all my tfothou gifs, a couple for hill house depending on the tint of the scene i'm giffing, one for law & order that sometimes needs to be adjusted just a little, one for the good wife, one or two for satc, etc. but they're all psds that i created myself.

typography (if applicable) which almost always involves scrolling through the entire list of fonts just to use one of my go-tos

action 3: this save action from anyataylorjoy

export > save for web!

upload to hellsite (derogatory) and gifsets always immediately go to my drafts, even if i want to post them right away, just so i can make sure i'm happy with everything and try to catch any last-minute mistakes

as for general organization, i'm organized on my computer to a near-ridiculous standard, but it works for me lmao. my psds, templates, and project psds (where i save an entire finished gif if it's for a larger, complex set and then never get rid of them lmao), and all overlays, textures, icons, graphics, transitions, etc. are meticulously organized. my finished gifs are also organized into their own folders.

27: What’s your favourite font to use? in general, monsterrat. i use it for everything in google docs, and it's my fave sans serif to go with serif or script fonts. when i'm using it for giffing, i usually use semibold.

#answered #bazkrekkers #tysm melone!!

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spiteless-xo · 6 months

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myself and mr. porcofucker just read the chapter sneak peek and based on the writing, i think reader ends up with **** and he thinks it's ****, but also has the theory that she won't end up with either of them.

i want to know if from this point, you think it's obvious who reader will end up with... because as much as i am team eren and have been since i started, it seems pretty open-ended to me rn.

that aside, i am not ready to say goodbye to this tuesday ritual :( i'm gonna miss interacting with you regularly like this </3 (ofc i'll still be here to lovingly bother you tho)

it's so wild how big your following has grown bc of tbaw too! i'm so happy to have been here for quite a bit of this journey! it was fun starting the trend of live ask reacting (;

but tmrw, the boyfie and i are going on a roadtrip and i'm glad because i'll basically get to take my time reading the end

i do have an exam tomorrow morning, so i might avoid the chapter until that's done, but i don't think i'll be on tumblr tmrw in case anything gets spoiled.

but i hope you're doing well!! i still need to see pics of your mikasa outfit!!! and mr. spiteless as the beast titan or zeke or whoever he chose 💀 loll

happy early halloween, tiffie <3

ily mahal ko!!!

hehehehe i did my best to choose the most outrageous snippet i could for the teaser and based on everyone's comments i think i made a good choice 😈

personally, i think it's obvious who she's going to end up with based on everything that's happened in the story, but i might have a clearer perspective as the author. i'm actually really excited to hear that you think it's open-ended because that's what i wanted!! i wanted the story to feel like she could choose either boy, up until the very end.

(there's actually a really, REALLY big hint that nobody's mentioned yet that basically gives it all away. I'm really excited to reveal it after the chapter drop tomorrow 🤭)

idk what im going to do with myself after tomorrow :( the first tuesday without an update is going to feel incomplete and i'm not looking forward to it.

good luck on your exam and have fun on your roadtrip!! 🥰🥰🥰

i tragically forgot to take a photo of me and zeke from our party this weekend!! i'll have to see if someone else has a pic of us in the bg or something 💀💀💀 i'd offer to put it on again for a new pic but those straps literally took me 45 mins to put on and i just don't have the energy for that rn

love you love you and you're always welcome to slide in my inbox, my dms, my whatevers anytime 🥰❤

#tiff.ask #tbaw.fic #aot #moot.porcofucker🥞

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darkcrowprincess · 2 years

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even tho i feel conflicted lol i do agree w u ab nora and george. honestly the episode that makes me think that the most is the episode where nora tries to be a SAHM. ik it was played for laughs like "oh he's just lazy and loved the lunches she was making" but derek was REALLY happy that she was home all the time and I don't think he'd ever admit it but I do think he really actually just did love having an active/participant?? mom (bc I dont think abby was ever that for them I mean she doesn't even have partial custody????). not saying she should have quit her job and dropped everything bc that probably wasn't even possible financially honestly and I dont think they're like, bad PEOPLE, but there has to be a better way to handle this...... idk real life is complicated and we can't always be what we want to be and I have no idea what I would even do in their position and ur right when you say they're not the WORST, but still. I really don't know lol this is why I'm kind of conflicted but anyway yeah sorry for all this I just wanted to say I agree 😅

Oh I agree. Life is messy and you can't control everything. I'd get it for Abby and George if Derek and Edwin were planned and Marti was an accident. But if they all were planned. Heres the thing I'm not saying that you can't have kids and a career. However, having kids is a commitment. It stops being about you. Kids come first because anything you do or don't do affects them(For the Venturi family you times that by 3). You choose to bring up and rase this person. So if you have kids and a full time big career you need to be smart about it. Three kids with full time big careers is a lot. Especially if the timing and age of said kids are taken into an account(managing would be more easier if said kids were all closer in age and or older), derek was headed into being a young teen. Edwin is heading into middles schooler and baby marit. It's not surprising that Abby and George got a divorce. If they willingly had three kids with full time careers, than it tells a lot about who they are as people. If I had to guess if marti was planned, she was probably a lets try to salvage a our marriage with another baby baby. Of course didn't work. I also have to guess Abby was the one who worked a lot. And considering the time period( late 90s early 2000s). That is probably what started a lot of fights. My guess is George and Abby divorced because they both worked too much. Casey's parents (different situation but still problem because Casey and Lizzie are not close in age), probably because Dennis worked too much and Nora didn't see him a lot and or the kids if (I had to guess Lizzie is an accident baby). So when she isn't working she and Casey are probably doing a lot of the heavy lifting. During and after the divorce probably a lot was put on Casey and Derek to take care of their siblings considering no matter how Casey and Derek act towards their siblings they still 100% adore them. It's not ideal but as separate situations it could have been manageable( the situation probably would have been better if George and Nora stayed single or met and dated other people who didn't have a family and didn't mind that they did. But obviously not realistic). Nora and George in their infinite wisdom in four months( it would have been more understandable if they dated for at least a year) decided to get married and blend their families. Two teenagers, two kids in a middle school range, and a 5 year old. 5 kids with two adults with jobs. That means in the course of four months they quickly dated, liked each other, "fell in love" and got married. Lots of changes over the course of four months and after. So it's not surprising Derek and Casey have issues. Life is messing of course. But as the adults Nora and George should have done better. Especially since they both divorced parents. But again we are shown that they are oblivious and if I had to guess don't think things through. Which makes them emotionally neglecteful and or careless. Your right they are not bad people. But that doesn't make it ok( not saying you did. I'm rambling) Love your comment to me. I love rambling and the life with derek situation just makes me think.

#My thoughts #Me rambling #life with derek #dasey #I just hate people who have a lot a kids #Or people who say and do have big families while having big careers because #They don't think of the emotional and money wise realities of said situations #Especially when their kids are not close in age #This is probably a lot of reasons why people get divorce or why kids have a lot of issues #When I say big families I mean more than two kids.#Three is manageable if the first two are close in age and are almost teens or teens

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trashlie · 2 years

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Please tell me about your shoujo journey. Do you think Skip Beat will outlast ILY? 😂 The pacing is on a whole other level of slow, I gave up on it, two decades running and Kyoko's only aged a year damn! I understand the frustration with the flashback, it is quite sluggish, but we're seeing the true impact Alyssa had on Shinae's trust, how it affects her relationship with Nol now, and what it means for them in the future. Plus we're getting some vital Alyssa content. I feel like she's become even more ambiguous to me. I have no idea where her head is at. I miss reading your analysis. I'd love discuss to her with you after the arc ends and we get our long awaited Shinae x Nol moment. It's been so loooong since we've seen them.

OOOOOHHHHHHH MY GOD ANON LMAO that question just made me pause HARD lmaooooooo. Listen. For alllllll the shit people say about ILY, I just feel it in my BONES that Skip Beat will outlast EVERYTHING lmaoooooooooooo GOD. Like, I'm sorry but ANY TIME people talk about slow pacing I'm just like.... I'll read this whole 30, 50? page chapter and WHAT HAPPENS? HOW MUCH TIME PASSES? NONE! lmao I like to do an annual "catch up" on Skip Beat now and then (when I remember lol). Like I LOVE that the mangka made it about more than just Kyoko's love life but also MAN each acting project is literally years long for us as readers!!!!!!!! lmao thanks to Skip Beat I have the patience to weather ANYYYYTHIIIIIIING hahahahahaha. Taking three months to get through a flashback arc? I can handle it! ILY could take 10 years to reach completion and I'd be, frankly, okay, because at least it could wrap up faster than Skip Beat ever could LMAO (and honestly like... 10 years of solid story telling is pretty ace in my book but that's a whole other thing lmao)

As for my shoujo journey, I'll be honest, it's not SUPER long! I didn't start reading manga until I was graduating high school, so by the time I started to dig into things, after some time I found myself growing out of it? Or, rather no it was more like... there's just a lot of tropes that were present in shoujo I was finding I wasn't into? (Like, oh my god so many triangles where I'd be like MEH I actually prefer the second lead. I learned very fast that a lot of your typical "first leads", at least back in the day, were NOT my style.) I still have a soft spot for a lot of stories that I loved, though! I haven't read Lovely Complex since god probably 2014, 2015? But I STILL loved it back then and I'm really eager for a re-read. I uh.... I really went through a Hirunaka no Ryuusei phase? Like.... lmaoooo it was a Big Thing for me hahhaha (I own the series in Korean, actually!!!!) My first two manga, though, were Skip Beat and Hana Kimi; my friend bought me the first Skip Beat volume at our school book fair and another friend bought the first few volumes of Hana Kimi and shared them with me! Hana Kimi is one of those that like.... you know it doesn't hold up over time, it leans heavily on tropes that are considered ethically nonos these days, but it stays special to me because in spite of all of that, idk I just! Enjoyed it! And now that I'm older I am okay saying "I LIKE THIS THING THAT IS FLAWED AND IMPERFECT AND I DO NOT NEED TO DEFEND IT" lol you know? There was the obligatory Vampire Knight phase that I finally fell out of but OOOF that was A Thing. (I was SO obsessed with it at first lol and I LOVED the art sooooo much that I read another series by the mangaka, MeruPuri which, frankly, was REALLY weird so nothing about Vampire Knight actually surprised me ngl LMAOOOOOO) You know I remember once starting Special A but I do not think I ever finished that! I put myself all the way through Ao Haru Ride even though I kept telling myself I needed to drop it and pretend it didn't exist. God what a trainwreck that one was lol like.... idk I'm not saying this as a dig to people who did enjoy it! There were just times I wanted to enter that story and punch people lmaoooo but I wonder what I would think if I went back and read it again now in the vein of like.... sometimes people are selfish and make bad choices because they are human? lol I also REALLY loved Orange but I'm going to admit I haaaaaaaaaaaaaated the ending and to this daaaaaay I haaaaaaaaaaaated it so much but that's a whole other post lol. LOVED the story, LOVED the art, was super into the theme, but just hated the execution of the ending SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH ;A;

lol I said it's not super long but look at me, rambling on and on!

I know no one is surprised that I wound up talking A LOT and just.... following, there's so much ILY rambling going on about why I appreciate and enjoy this flashback arc, and how I think it boosts the rest of the story so far lol so here's a read more, haaaha.......

I definitely feel you on how Alyssa feels even more ambiguous lol which is so funny. I love the insight and having a better idea of who she is as a person, even if we still don't fully know all of her motives. Just seeing her as a complex character like everyone else has been great. We all know I'm a sucker for parallels lol and seeing how everyone has their own traumas, that everyone has a root for who they are, is the stuff that keeps me hooked on ILY. Alyssa was very easily written off by people and I don't defend her or anything - I really hope we get to see her take responsibility for her actions and ownership for the hurt she has caused, whether on purpose or not - but also, it always felt like she was suuuuuuuper reduced down by fandom on a whole. I think a very human thing quimchee is good at capturing is that we don't always mean to hurt the people we do, but it still happens, and that sometimes good intentions can make things worse in the longrun - and this can go for Alyssa towards Nol or Shinae, frankly.

Honestly, too, something I love about her is like... like you know how if you read a novel, the protagonist is supposed* to be the character who makes the right choices and does good things? And when people are presented an "unlikable protagonist" it's usually a character who is acting on their emotions and responding to their experiences - it's a character making the choices that we ourselves might make. (* I'm saying "supposed" here because a protagonist DOESN'T have to make the right choices, but it turns out people really hate media where female characters make selfish choices lmaoooo) I guess that's what I like seeing about Alyssa in this flashback. I've seen a lot of people say that Alyssa is weak for caving to peer pressure or something but like... was that not the middle school experience? I don't know a lot of people who were super self-assured and full of confidence in middle school - but especially someone in Alyssa's position who has never really interacted with kids her own age and is so afraid of ostracization. Like a lot of the woven storylines of ILY, something I love is that we are shaped by our experiences, right? Most people never faulted Shinae for shutting down and putting up strong defenses when we first met her in the story, because we know she'd been screwed over by life and people and as people who have been there before, we understand self-preservation tactics. She even basically admits it herself that she WANTED to open up to people. Shinae wasn't guarded because she hated people, she lied to herself because of how much she'd been hurt and she was afraid to take that chance again and try it. Shinae is afraid to be burned, Alyssa is afraid for people to ever have a chance to burn her. It's so inherently HUMAN to be afraid of being alienated, to want to BELONG, to want to feel like you fit in. She faces a daily crisis in how she is desperate to belong with people who might not accept her if they knew what she was truly like.

And idk, I cannot fault her for that completely, because it took me until my early-to-mid-20s to learn to be okay on my own and that it was better to be myself than try to fit in where I wasn't wanted. I put up with shitty friendships for a long time because I had myself convinced that it was all worth it. So a middle schooler struggling with this is SO VERY real, and it's wild to me to see people fault her for this. Alyssa has done some things worth being mad about, but seeing her written off for being a human middle schooler is WILD to me.

That's a whole other tangent LOL but it's something I haven't really gotten around to ever talking about. Like, whatever, I cannot - and I won't even try lol to - convince people to like Alyssa, but frankly, I think all of the characters of ILY are SO dimensional and fascinating, how can I not enjoy exploring parts of their story? I think sometimes people think that if I say "I enjoy a character" it means I endorse everything they do. I DO like Kousuke and Alyssa. Would I want to be their friends? Good grief, no. But I'm here as an observer of a story and I think it's fascinating to see how their experiences bring about the circumstances of this story. That moment of dramatic irony when Alyssa promises that she won't stop being Shinae's friend, but we know how it all ends, we all know that's a promise she does not keep, and we know how those events affect Shinae and much of the story that unfolds!

how it affects her relationship with Nol now

I feel like this is something that doesn't come up a lot? Or maybe I just missed any period of fandom when they might have discussed it? Like.... if Shinae hadn't been burned like this by Alyssa, she wouldn't carry the paranoia she does - not about Maya and Rika and certainly not about Minhyuk. Even to this day, we saw that Shinae worries that even the people she trusts are humoring her - because she's been there, she trusted someone who hurt her. The entire trajectory of her relationship with Nol would be completely different! A really beautiful aspect of Nol and Shiane's friendship to me is not just that he managed to make Shinae open up - it's that now that we know how Shinae lied to herself, how she was hurt in the past, how trusting people burned her so badly - but the fact that despite everything she'd been through, she WANTED him to be someone she could trust, she WANTED him to be worth letting down her guard.

Like, again!!!!! Everything that happens in this story only does so because of circumstances and events that precede it. Shinae going to Nol's school was not just because she wanted to check on and see her friend - she was desperate to prove herself wrong, desperate for Nol to prove that he was worth the chances she took, that trusting him was not another mistake she knew better than to make.

I think a flashback arc shows us more than just insight into her relationship with Alyssa, which we've established was something very important, something special that was destroyed. It's the juxtaposition of pre-accident Shinae, who was willing to open herself up, who was plucky and bullheaded and just wanted to be appreciated it. Contrast that with the Shinae we meet early in the story, who has herself convinced it's okay to be alone, when now we know she was yearning to be appreciated, maybe yearning for someone to fight for her the way she fought for Alyssa but believed that something like that wasn't possible. I think we also see the flashback because while we've seen some of the ugly moments of Shinae's life, we never really saw how we went from this point to that point, you know? How there are small pockets of things in her life that make her want to keep believing in what she knows better than to believe - in teachers who listen to her when she tells the truth, in friends who stand up for her and defend in - even as her life starts to crumble. She can't escape her past, she's literally being haunted by it, even as she tried to put it all behind her. Her father is falling more and more into alcoholism due to stress from school plus his job, and soon he's going to be saddled with medical bills and having to take care of Shinae, which is probably what derailed school completely. THESE are the experiences that made the Shinae we know - a Shinae who is TERRIFIED of being hurt but also LONGS to be proven wrong, a Shinae who wants to share an experience she thought maybe she doesn't deserve, a Shinae who quietly believed maybe the universe just wanted to punish her for existing but still tries so hard to defy it.

Idk like yes we get that sense of Shinae without the backstory, but I think it really emphasizes this so much more? And I think it's also some kind of proof, maybe, that Alyssa IS more important than people have given her credit for, not just in the past but also in the future of the story. She doesn't exist just to move plot and drive wedges between relationships or something lol she, too, a complex character with complex experiences and god isn't that the sum of so many moments of people headbutting? That we are complex and sometimes struggle to see beyond our own issues, because what we deal with blinds us? Alyssa is blinded by her desire to escape her family and experience something NORMAL and be liked. Maybe she DOES want attention! Kousuke is blinded by a sense of destiny instilled in him since he was young, blinded by paranoia that fed off of this "destiny", blinded by his inability to accept his father's human nature, blinded by his fear that the only thing that makes him matter to his father is threatened. We met Nol thinking he was a character who looked out for others but even he's been blinded by his misery and by the feelings of worthlessness that has been punched down into him.

We butt heads with people because sometimes we are so caught up in our own struggles that it's hard to understand that others struggle, too, and I think that's where some of the best conflict comes. Like yeah there's good conflict in "Shinae has been roped into attending this horrible formal" but there's something poignant and painful in "Shinae unintentionally repeated the Alyssa cycle when she let Nol in" and even BETTER we get to see how she's grown from it!

This is, as always, lmao a very rambling tangential departure from the main point lol but!!!!! I have had a lot of feelings here and I know part of peoples' irritation is they want to get back to Nol and Shinae right now, but I think seeing Shinae's past helps create even MORE appreciation for what Nol means to her - that he is someone who hurt her but she is still willing to give another chance - and moreover, that we can see that though Shinae came from a loving home, she, too, has suffered her own abuse, was battered and beaten down by people, and unlike Nol, she was able to conclude it doesn't make her bad. Idk it's so beautiful to me and I get really overwhelmed lol it makes me appreciate their friendship SO MUCH more, for what they mean to each other and what they can be, you know? Seeing Shinae's resilience, through the new girl at middle school hoping to start all over to failing at that to putting up that guarded wall to finally taking a chance, finally giving in and accepting that yes, she still has hope, there's still faith, and Nol was that spark. UGH!

ANYWAY lol I do think we are probably nearing the end of this flashback arc. I don't know how many episodes I think remain - I generously said less than 10 a week or two ago lol but I think that was very generous. The timeline (and Alyssa's behavior) feels like we are approaching the point of Alyssa pushing Shinae and YES i will be so happy to go over the whole arc with you!!! I've been wanting to make a post that I keep holding off on, because I don't know if it would be better to do it now or wait for the whole arc to end, but I think there's a good conversation to be had about how a lot of Alyssa's behavior is directly tied to her homelife - how it's implied her father is someone who, at the very least, shouts a lot - and how that ties into her deflective, people-pleasing nature. Again, Alyssa is not really a spineless, MEAN-spirited person. She, like everyone else, is just the sum of her experiences, and I don't think she's learned to deal with them in a healthy way. (And frankly speaking, what about her relationship with Nol IS healthy anyway?)

I know this is so much more than you bargained for lol but you KNOOOOWWWW I love these asks and it HAS been so long since I got to just.... ENTHUSE about this - not just try to analyze or talk about what an episode has revealed but just GUSH about it lol so I could not help myself! But yes, once this arc ends, I will be READY to dissect and discuss EVERYTHING. I feel so emotionally invested, knowing that Shinae is about to experience the worst burn of her life, while she's still so trusting and earnest and aaaahhhhhhhh it's going to HURT so much ;~; But in a maybe cathartic way. (Also, and this is something I should get to later, I think something big about this flashback is that, y'know, it's kind of implied that Shinae has repressed a lot of this. Her memories of the moment are hazy, Alyssa appeared in a series of people Shinae was shocked to realize she harbored so much anger towards. I think as much as this is for US to see exactly what happened, I think it's also kind of a wake up call for Shinae, who has repressed and ignored so much of this, and I'm really REALLY curious to see how she reacts after return to the present. Is she angry? Sad? Sad for her younger self? Is it cathartic for her? How raw is it? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh)

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Alyssa Cho #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #lol what was my nol tag? I just gotta create one for him i swear!#GOD it's been so long since I just gushed and rambled lol I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW MUCH I WROTE i do not know how to restrain myself #also just talking about shoujo again!!!!!!! i haven't really read a lot in a long time but i'd be liking if i pretended it wasn't a #sort of formative foundation you know? part of what was so fun about early ILY was the homage it paid to shoujo manga before it evolved #i'm sure i left off LOTS of manga too #i randomly think about heroine shikaku because i don't think there were many manga i saw as far through as that one that i HATED as much #LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #IT WAS A COOL CONEPT AND IT WAS SO FOILED AND DISAPPOINTED?! i love the idea of girl believes she's the heroine of her life but SIKE SHE'S #NOT and has to learn to resolve that and yknow LET GO OF THE DUDE SHE OBSESSIVELY LOVES but they did not give me that story!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway look i have really missed ILY asks like i just feel? weirdly? rejuvenated?#sometimes i receive an ask and i have to let it sit for a couple hours so i can mull over it and prepare myself but with this one i just #launched right in lol i was so excited to yell about shoujo and my eternal patience thanks to Skip Beat and this whole flashback and YES #what it means for her relationship with Nol! what it means for her as a person! what it means for the Shinae we first met vs who she is now #GOD i love her so much ;_____________; Shinae is so wonderful ;~;

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