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mikelogan · 10 hours

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A SFW a-z alphabet please 🙏

below the cut bc this was not short lmao (also a couple of the answers do have a TW for mentions of child abuse)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Mike is a very affectionate person once he knows he can let his guard down a bit. There’s also a learning curve for him because for so long, the only type of touch he knew was pain. When he gets older and realizes he can use sex to quiet the thoughts in his head and feel pleasure, that’s what he chases. One-night stands or brief, fleeting relationships that always end in hurt feelings because he can’t live up to anyone else’s expectations. But when he finds someone who is a better fit and who understands him on a deeper level and things actually seem to last, he’s genuinely the sweetest boy! He’s very very big on touching, very tactile. He initiates cuddling and hugs and soft little kisses and really just starts to thrive when his partner does the same, when he realizes he’s deserving of that level of tenderness. He may not be the best when it comes to verbalizing his feelings, but the safer and more secure he feels, he does start to open up gradually. Just the act of him telling his partner more about his past or what he thinks about, just letting them in, is a form of his affection as well. He also strikes me as the type to leave little notes if he gets called in or is asleep before his partner gets home.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

I think Mike probably feels like he’s a bad friend? He’s so married to his job – work is everything to him – and that doesn’t leave a ton of room for extra-curriculars other than a few drinks in a bar where he can find someone to take home. But in reality, Mike is such a loyal person that when he finds people who take the time to really see him and don’t just write him off as some hothead cop, he’d do anything for them. People mean a lot to Mike, even if he doesn’t mean the same to him. As for how a friendship might begin, I can so easily see it being at one of his usual bars or even a restaurant he frequents and he’s sitting a bit off to the side, by himself, knocking back a couple drinks with his eyes glued to the TV that’s playing whatever sport is in-season and someone makes an errant comment about the game and he kind of perks up, especially if it’s an opinion he shares (though he takes great joy in giving Mets fans a hard time). As standoffish or unapproachable as he might appear, he is a good person, can be perfectly friendly. I think he just has to get past that initial wave of suspicion, like if someone is talking to him they must have an ulterior motive sort of situation.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Mikey, my sweet, cuddly boy!! In the same vein as A, as soon as he knows he can trust someone, he wants them in his arms or to feel their embrace. He’s such a spooner, but also I don’t think he’d be super particular about the how as long as he and his partner are curled around one another and tangled together in some way, shape, or form. (See this SATC gifset)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)TW for mentions of child abuse

For a long time – longer than it should take because he’s a stubborn motherfucker – Mike convinces himself he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to settle down or get married or have kids or any of that conventional, traditional stuff. And that’d be fine if it was true. But he wants that so damn badly that there’s an ache inside him that grows more and more pronounced as he goes from relationship to relationship. The most heartbreaking part of it is that he thinks he doesn’t deserve those things. That he doesn’t deserve happiness. That’s something other people get, but not him. And he buries that so deep, deep enough that he can tell himself he doesn’t want that, that he’s a terminal bachelor and who knows how many other platitudes. He just has such a hard time with his self-loathing. His entire childhood was spent being told and shown how worthless he was, that he deserved everything his mother did to him, and even though he logically knows he didn’t deserve that, that no child does, it’s something he has to work through and for a long time, he doesn’t want to go there because it’s easier to keep pushing it down than to unpack it all. That got depressing. Anyway, cooking and cleaning! I’m holding firm on my “Mike’s a fucking awful cook” stance. He’s not so inept that he can’t feed himself, but it’s pretty basic stuff. He can follow the directions on the back of a box for the most part, but I don’t see him enjoying cooking. He does it as little as possible, especially because the majority of his time is spent at work, plus working out and bars and sex and all that jazz, so he just doesn’t have the time for anything more. I do think he’s pretty clean, though. He’s terrible with laundry, but most clothes typically end up in or near the hamper. It’s just lugging it downstairs and actually washing and drying everything that he’s bad at keeping up with. Otherwise, his apartment is pretty damn clean and he’s fairly organized. Sometimes paperwork gets out of hand, but he’s on overtime anyway so he might as well stay a few extra hours to sort through it all every once in a while.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It really depends on the length of the relationship. I wouldn’t say Mike is commitment-phobic per se, but he certainly keeps his guard up for a while – which incidentally is why a lot of his relationships never quite make it off the ground. So if it’s more of a fling, just a few weeks or even a couple months, he hasn’t really let himself get super close yet and there’s an element of detachment. He would never go out of his way to hurt someone, but I think he’d be upfront and I don’t know, emotionless isn’t the right word, but kind of stoic about it? Probably would try and make a joke or “At least we had fun, right?” sorta vibe which definitely gets mixed reactions. In a more long-term relationship (which in my opinion he probably has very few of), it’s definitely a lot harder. He still tries to search for that detachment, but it’s nowhere near as easy once he’s been more vulnerable with someone. There’s that voice in his head telling him he should have known better than to take those walls down, that this is how it always goes, and he beats himself up afterwards for ruining a seemingly good thing. I do think that in these cases, he’s probably the one being broken up with because his partner just isn’t getting what they want or need, and it very rarely comes as a surprise. He can see the signs, but he doesn’t want to be the one to do it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said for E, he’s not completely commitment-phobic, but it’s a tough line for him. He really needs to be in a place where he’s looked inside himself, GOTTEN SOME MOTHERFUCKING THERAPY JESUS H CHRIST, and at least has started to tackle the issues he has at their root causes. And that’s really hard. But when he finds the right person, it’s something he has to do otherwise he’s not going to be able to give all of himself the way he wants to. He has to have those hard conversations and let them in, give them all the gory details he keeps to himself. But god, when that happens? It’s not like he’s a different person, but he’s so much freer and it looks so good on him. Given all that, marriage definitely is not something he’s going to jump into. He needs to be absolutely sure – mostly about himself rather than his partner because he’d already be sure about them – that this is what he wants and even then, he’s still going to turn it over and over again in his head, try to map out every possible outcome. But ultimately, it’s still a leap of faith, both in his partner and in himself. He’s nervous as hell and just as emotional, but once he gets to say the word “husband” or “wife” it’s this culmination of all his hard work and he finally gets to reap the benefits.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Sweet! Boy! He’s definitely gentler on the physical side of things because being gentle emotionally takes more work for him. Not everyone can make or will respond well to flippant jokes or sarcastic comments about his past trauma. He really just has to get a feel for the person first. That being said, when the situation calls for it and he knows his partner needs it, he can be so tender and soft that it almost hurts. At his core, Mike is someone who cares so much and that can be really difficult! But there’s a level of respect there that not everyone in his life gets. I would even go so far as to say that his partner is the person he has the most respect for. He might not always say or do the right thing, but he tries to be what they need, even when he’s not sure he’s capable.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

In general, I don’t think he minds hugs. He may not always be the one to initiate them, but if someone he’s comfortable around on a basic level goes for one, he’s not going to shy away. In Exiled when he’s back at the 2-7 for the first time, he hugs Lennie (so briefly lest it look gay) and I’m pretty sure Profaci, too, but I’m too lazy to look through my clips. He hugs Shirley, Profaci’s wife and touches her belly when they tell him she’s pregnant, like!! Tactile!! I told you!! With his partner, he’s always always always pulling them into his arms, whether it’s just for the hell of it or if they need comfort or virtually any other reason. Those are usually accompanied by a kiss, pressed to their lips or cheek, their temple or the top of their head. He’s a sweet boy (I type for the hundredth time because he is!! A SWEET BOY!!)

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

That. Is an excellent question. Again, it takes him a while to start letting down those walls and it’s even longer than that before he can say the words. But once he’s sure? Once he knows that’s how he feels (and likely gets some sort of confirmation from his partner that they feel the same or if they say it first), he can say it with surprising ease. Mike isn’t a liar and while he’s not exactly a stranger to hiding or suppressing his feelings, he’s able to say that much. And then it’s like he can’t stop saying it. He’ll whisper it into their hair or during more intimate acts, he’ll say it just watching them do something terribly mundane, he’ll say it when they crack a joke or laugh at one of his. Sweet. Boy.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Another one of those more nuanced questions, at least in my opinion. Mike would quite literally never cheat. He’s a slut, but he’s a smart, safe, monogamous slut. Because of that, because it’s something that truly never crosses his mind, it’s also not something he’d expect from a partner. But if he’s not fully comfortable in a relationship or he doesn’t know the person that well yet or he suspects something, that jealousy can flare a bit. But in a long-term relationship, it’s really not on his radar unless his partner makes him think there’s a reason for it to be. Even then, I think it’d be more a feeling of betrayal than jealousy, but there’s definitely an element of it there. The thing is that when he trusts his partner, he trusts them. If they’re going out without him, he’s not sitting at home or at work wondering what they’re doing or if they’re being faithful. He’s hoping they’re having a good time, he wants them to have fun and that doesn’t always have to be with him! He can get possessive, but that to me is a more sexual thing, more of like a “tell me you’re mine” kind of vibe rather than legitimate jealousy.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Mike do be kissin’! Really depends on the context though! He contains multitudes, can go from chaste little pecks to full-on licking into someone’s mouth. Most often, he tends toward the tamer end of the spectrum unless it’s clear things will be going further. For the former, like I said above, you’ve got forehead, temple, hair/head, cheek, lips, hand. For the latter, boy’s going anywhere his lips can reach, especially the neck. He’s a neck kisser for sure. As for when he’s the recipient of a kiss, I feel like he’d probably most prefer being kissed on the lips, but is certainly not averse to pretty much any other spot either. Sometimes a guy just needs little kisses pressed all over his face, y’know? It’s good for the soul.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)TW for mentions of child abuse

Mike is literally so good with kids and it makes me want to cry (and I don’t even like kids)!! In my head, he has a sister who has a veritable football team of children, all of whom he absolutely adores. He’s the uncle crawling around on his hands and knees while an indeterminate amount of screeching little creatures clings to his back. Holding babies does make him nervous, even after the 84th kid (I joke), but once he’s sitting down and settled with them in his arms or against his chest, it feels so natural. And that probably scares him at first for the various issues mentioned in previous questions, but once he allows himself to want that for himself, holding a baby is the best thing in the world. Their little fingers wrapping around his and he’s always making sure their socks stay on so their tiny feet don’t get cold and he talks to them so softly and I am crying in the club. When it comes to work, he’s always going to fight for kids. Fuck me up, Law & Order 1x09 “Indifference.” If there’s a scared or hurt kid, they are his first priority and he’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure they don’t go back to someone who poses a danger to them. It’s also why any case where abuse and/or the murder of a child is involved are so hard for him. He wants to save every kid and it’s not like a noble heroic thing like some people might think. It’s because he wished every day as a kid that someone would come save him.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mikey’s a sleepy boy. He is the opposite of a morning person. He’s typically on the quiet side, his eyes still heavy with sleep and his hair a mess. He is almost certainly leaning against his partner or laying his head on their shoulder at some point or another. All he wants is to sleep in and not have to wake up to the blaring of an alarm or a page from work. Breakfast is eaten hastily, a piece of toast stuffed in his mouth while he pulls his clothes on, and coffee is an essential. He’s not cranky exactly, just… non-functional.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are spent (most often) lazing on the couch and watching a movie or a game or the news if he wants to get pissed off. Nights are for taking his time whenever possible, cuddling up with his partner or showering or sometimes just flopping straight into bed after a long or difficult day. Unfortunately, a lot of times, work bleeds into the night, well past suppertime, but it’s part of the job. When he’s off or on vacation, he’ll stay up late and sleep in and be the happiest, softest boy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I’ve pretty much already answered this a few times at this point, so the tl;dr version is that it takes him a while to open up and it’s very much a gradual process of sharing pieces of information here and there. A lot of that is because they’re just hard topics to discuss, difficult memories to talk about, but he also needs to know that he’s safe and can trust his partner before he gets to that point.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Hang on, I’m just looking into the camera like I’m in The Office, it’ll just be a moment. We all know he has a temper, but said temper is very situational. He gets angry at work because of injustice. Like genuinely, show me an instance of him blowing up and tell me it’s not for that reason. The only other option that gets him that heated is his own self-loathing. In his personal life, I don’t think Mike is anywhere near as angry as he is at work. And it sucks that he feels that way so often, but at least at home with his partner, he’s happy. This isn’t to say that there wouldn’t be fights between them, but even then, he’s more likely to shut down and go take a walk or go silent than he is to go off on them.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Mike cares. He may not be able to recall every single detail of everything his partner tells him, but he remembers the stuff that counts and he pays attention more than you might think. He listens when they talk and is the type to go back and purchase something they said they liked or needed just as a nice thing to do. He’s not the asshole who forgets birthdays or anniversaries or anything like that. If he misses something, it’s because work got in the way, which is something he never stops feeling guilty about even when it’s out of his control.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I’m torn between thinking it’s something super mundane but was more of an introspective moment for him, like his partner just looked so beautiful, the light was hitting them just right or they were laughing and it hits him how much he loves them and how lucky he is to have them in his life OR thinking it’s something big, like when he proposes or they first say I love you, things more on that order. Either way, he’s a big ol’ softie and both of those things have the ability to make him go all misty-eyed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Sweet boy tries his best!! He’s a lil dumb, but that’s okay. Like I just think the romance aspect doesn’t come super easy to him, but he learns what’s meaningful to his partner and does his best using that knowledge. If they’re not into big, grand gestures, he does definitely breathe a sigh of relief, but truly no matter what it is, he’s putting in the effort. That’s almost more meaningful than the surprise/gesture itself. He’ll think and overthink what gift to get them a hundred times because he wants to get it just right. The average date is rarely something ultra-romantic, probably more geared toward doing something his partner and/or he enjoys. Anniversaries are a bit of a bigger deal, usually involve reservations at a nice restaurant or something similar, but his favorite words are “why don’t we just stay in.”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

PLEASE PUT YOUR SOCKS IN THE FUCKING HAMPER, MIKE, IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD!! Just stupid shit like that, we all have things on that order. Bigger issues are, of course, his propensity to close himself off or shut down rather than being honest and forthcoming, his temper, and – depending on how you view it or how it affects his personal life – how much of himself he puts into his work. That undoubtedly will put a strain on any relationship at one point or another.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He likes to look good and when he does, he knows it, baby *finger guns*. Most of that is just his stupid gorgeous face, but the hair certainly plays a part and he’s willing to put effort into that. Really, he just knows he’s attractive and he’s not above using that to his advantage when the need arises.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes! Okay, like obviously marriage or a relationship is not the end-all be-all for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. But for so long, Mike makes himself believe he doesn’t need or want that and puts all his energy into his work, and all that gets him is trauma, a decade-long stint on the trash heap of New York City, and some more trauma. At some point, he’s going to realize that he’s never going to be truly happy working for people that couldn’t care less about him or actively hate him. Once he finds his person, on some levels it feels like a religious experience. It’s still not always easy, especially at the start, but he’ll have those moments of clarity when he realizes that he doesn’t want to run away like he has in the past. He wants to be with them, even during the bad stuff. Whether or not that includes starting a family is negotiable, but finding the right person for him is easily the best thing that ever happens to him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I suppose it’s not so much a headcanon as it is fact, but sweet boy loves him some Sinatra. Knows all the things, probably has a lot of his stuff on vinyl, can recall trivia at the drop of a hat. Not a terrible singer himself. But he likes music in general, tends toward some of the older stuff, but also can get into more contemporary rock. Likes Elvis and Billy Joel and the Eagles and CCR, doesn’t mind The Beatles, loves Blood, Sweat & Tears, has been known to listen to Frankie Valli and Roy Orbison and Buddy Holly, probably knows a ton of Led Zeppelin and Sam Cooke, and is just generally all over the place when it comes to music. Is an absolute menace and will hum or sing to his partner and slow dance with them even when it makes them melt.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

It probably goes without saying that any criminal behavior would not be his jam, but I can’t see him being with someone super high-maintenance just given the nature of his job or anyone who isn’t willing to be patient or take the time to really get to know him. He won’t tolerate infidelity and lying just hurts – plus he’s a damn good judge of character and can tell when someone is lying to him most of the time. Anyone entitled or super materialistic would also make a poor match. Anyone not supportive of the LGBTQ+ community because that boy is bi, I will hear nothing to the contrary. I think he probably has to work through some internalized homophobia, but that’s when he’s younger, likely before he even joins the force. I don’t know that it would necessarily be a dealbreaker for him, but someone just generally apathetic about the law? Like, he is so passionate about what he does and has very strong morals and beliefs and while not everything has to align perfectly, I don’t think he’d be able to understand someone just flat-out not caring. Also would not be able to stomach anyone who's very religious or anyone who tries to force their religious beliefs on others.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He’s one of those assholes who can pretty much sleep anywhere any time just by virtue of being on-call. He’ll grab sleep whenever he can get it because he never knows when he might get called in. Also a very heavy sleeper. He can wake up for an alarm, a page, and if he has kids, he totally has the Dad Sense and will wake up if he hears them crying, but otherwise, he’s out.

#answered #Anonymous #mike logan #headcanons #law & order #law and order #mikey my baby 😭

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