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fuckyeahdindjarin · 8 months

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IX ║ Warmblood

Jack Daniels x f!reader

{ Part 8: Silver Pony | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }

Rating: E

Summary: The hardest goodbye you'll ever say.

Warnings: Mentions of food and cooking, angst, feelings, flirting, sexual innuendoes, semi-pubic sex, oral sex (F receiving), risky unprotected sex (wrap it up, kids!), dirty talk, language, no use of Y/N

Word count: 7.6k

Notes: Here we are, at the end of the longest packtrip ever, and we did it with only one (1) little meltdown last night 😜 More notes at the end, but I just want to say - this has been a once-in-a-lifetime story for me. If a fic can be a soulmate, Palomino is mine.

Thank you for coming on this journey with me, I love every single one of you ❤️ Last thing, I never do this, but I must insist that you play this song when you get there. You'll know when 🥹

Warmblood: An athletic, agile horse that is noted for its trainability and usually calm temperament, is commonly used in equestrian competition, and typically possesses Thoroughbred, Arabian, and draft horse bloodlines.

Your awakening is gentle, soft and blurry around the edges, as if you’re looking through the lens of a Polaroid camera, tinted in sepia. The morning hour creeps across the ceiling of Jack’s bedroom in equal parts light and shadow, the curtains having been left undrawn last night. A crack in the window lets in the faintest breeze, but mutes all the sounds you’ve grown used to seeking out first thing in the morning, when your eyelids are too heavy to lift.

The hum of flying things, feathered or otherwise, charting their flight paths in your head by the buzz of their wings. The brush of the wind like a hand combing through grass and meadow. Even the sun speaks in the morning, raw energy strumming between constantly shifting air particles.

This stillness comes off as almost - unnatural. Even when straddling the divide between sleep and wake, you feel yourself making tiny adjustments to the physicality of being indoors again. Regret stains the corners of your consciousness, knowing it won’t take you long to recalibrate. Your body will return to what it knows, shedding your once-upon-a-time existence in the mountains like a coat discarded at the turn of the season.

When the mattress dips behind you, sensation floods your veins like a shock to the system, flushing out the pins and needles in your limbs that you haven’t even noticed. Jack is warm and solid behind you, where he belongs. One leg nudged between yours, his sun-kissed arm across your waist, the only thing keeping you from tumbling off the edge. His breath whistles sweetly over the shell of your ear, and you smile. You don’t have to look over your shoulder to know that his mouth is parted in slumber.

The next time you come to, it’s the rude buzz of metal on wood that jolts you out of sleep. You squeak when Jack follows, almost inadvertently shoving you off the bed as he startles awake. But thankfully, his instincts are fully intact, and he catches you squarely in the stomach, biceps flexing as he pulls you back into his chest with an easy strength.

‘Sorry, darlin’,’ he rasps groggily, burying his face in your neck in an apology. You uncoil in a languid stretch, opening up your throat to the rough scratch of his moustache, wanting to feel the burn.

‘Phone, cowboy,’ you gripe when the vibration doesn’t stop.

With a heave-ho, Jack reaches over you to grab it, before falling back onto the mattress so heavily that the bedframe shakes. Rubbing his thumb and index finger over his eyes, he grouses into the receiver, ‘What?’

Teak’s voice on the other line is clear as day even though he’s not on speaker. ‘Where are you, man?’

You burrow into Jack’s side, and the wide span of his palm on your hip holds you to him possessively. ‘Where do you think I am?’

‘Listen. Poppy made sausage gravy and buttermilk pancakes. Y’all know what that means.’

You venture a peek at Jack, whose lips are pursed thoughtfully. You prompt, ‘What does it mean?’

He smiles down at you. ‘She really likes you, darlin’.’

Teak interrupts with a scoff. ‘Like her? She’s basically adopting you, sunshine!’

Your lips wobble - if you soften any further, you might melt into the mattress. ‘Oh, Poppy.’

‘Look, I’ve been stallin’ them, but they’re fixin’ to break down her door. You lovebirds best get here quick!’

Tossing away his phone without a goodbye, Jack drops a kiss to your forehead. ‘Listen, we don’t have to go anywhere, you stay here and I’ll make you - cereal in bed?’ He pauses with a wince. ‘Actually, I’m outta milk. And cereal.’

You chuckle, reaching up to run your fingers through his endearingly askew bed hair. ‘It’s ok, cowboy, we should go. I need to pack anyway.’

Your tummy takes the inopportune moment to rumble audibly, and he pins you with a knowing look. ‘And you want that sausage gravy, don’t you?’

‘Shut up,’ you laugh, pushing him off the bed.

When you step out of Jack’s bedroom in last night’s clothes after a quick refresh in his neat ensuite, he’s already outside, warming up the Silver Pony.

The house is even cosier in the morning. Facing east, daylight fills every corner of every room, bringing out the patterns in the wooden panels. Your gaze lingers where you can’t. You want to study the cracked spines of the paperbacks on his bookshelf one by one, you want to press your nose into the shirts hanging in his closet, you want to peer around the door to a second room that is temptingly ajar -

‘Darlin’?’

You look up, and Christ on a cracker - it’s downright unfair that even after a week of spending every waking minute together, this damn cowboy can still make your heart skip a beat just by standing.

Jack is on the doorstep, in what you assume is his ‘off-duty’ uniform. Instead of a plaid shirt, he’s wearing a simple white tshirt with a round neck that is decidedly not sweat- nor dirt-friendly, tucked loosely into the waistband of dark jeans that look a bit more polished, and if you would believe it, even tighter than the pair he wears in the saddle. While it’s business as usual with the Stetson and work boots, something unfamiliar hangs from the neckline of his top.

Plucking the gold-rimmed aviators from his tshirt, you slide them onto your face, winking at him through the tinted lens. ‘Nice shades. Gotta say, I didn’t peg you for such a snazzy dresser off the trail.’

He grins, all tidy teeth with a deliberately libertine edge, clearly enjoying the attention. Scooping you into his broad frame, he drawls, ‘Gotta look good for the ladies in town, y’know. They’re famished ‘cause you been hoardin’ me all week, darlin’.’

With an exaggerated huff, you elbow past him. ‘I don’t know how you manage to zip your ego into those tightass pants, cowboy!’

‘With lots of practice,’ he retorts, smacking you firmly on the backside.

‘Do you need your sunnies?’ you ask as you climb onto the Silver Pony behind him, pushing the aviators a bit higher on your nose where they’ve slid down.

He shrugs. ‘Keep ‘em. Gives you a reason to come back.’

You smile into his broad shoulders, palms sliding to interlock over his soft belly. The bike revs, startling a flock of birds into flight from a nearby tree, and you realise those six little words are the first to breach the subject of what comes after - which will come to be in a matter of hours, with your flight in the early afternoon, a prospect suddenly so frighteningly real.

But in the same breath, it becomes blindingly clear that you don’t even need to hear the words.

Because you know there is a space for you in his bed, tucked into his body, curled around you. A spot for you under his arm resting on the back of his couch in the living room, in front of a woodfire when it snows outside. A seat for you at the back of his motorcycle, where you are now, breezing effortlessly downhill towards the ranch, the white fences and red roofs winking at you between the gaps in the trees that line the winding country roads.

When you dream in the months to come, you will always smell pine, white cotton, and well-worn leather as the Silver Pony carries you home.

It’s a shorter drive than you remember. Jack’s watch reads just past half eight when you pull into the parking lot. He kills the engine as you dismount, passing him your star-spangled helmet to be returned to its place in the little cabinet for next time. You’ve turned on your heel towards the ranch when a hand on your wrist grounds you to the spot.

Hands that have made you feel safe, protected, wanted in turn over the past week.

There’s no fanfare, no declarations, as you watch Jack lace his fingers with yours, filling the gaps and the tips curling into the valleys between your knuckles. Palm to weathered palm, calloused from ropework and heavy lifting, you look up to meet his eyes.

He peers at you, almost shyly, an incomprehensible notion after all that he’s done to you, and what you’ve done to him, across the expanse of the Wyoming wilderness. But there’s a chastity to this simple action, and you find your throat tight when he asks, ‘Is this ok, darlin’?’

Your heart swells, as if it’s going to grow claws and tear itself right out of your chest cavity. Bringing up your tangled hands, you brush a kiss across his knuckles, and his whole countenance lifts with the upward curl of his mouth.

‘Yes, cowboy.’

The Statesman is putting on a show for your last morning. The sun is out, climbing high into the cloudless sky, with Jack’s aviators bearing the brunt of the harsh glare. It’s déjà vu when you retrace the path you took on the day of your arrival, the same crunch of gravel under your boots, the familiar scent of hay and horse on the breeze.

The bird’s eye view of the ranch has your breath stuttering just like that first time you cast your gaze on the green pastures and the red roofs. And beyond, like a perfectly painted stage set piece, the Bighorns loom tall and majestic. You’ve seen the mountains in all their incarnations over the past week - they change colour as the sun and clouds move during the day, and sometimes, you swear they morph in shape too.

It strikes you suddenly that just yesterday, you were but three specks moving across the vast landscape, the realisation almost bowling you over.

Before all this, it wouldn’t have taken much to convince yourself that you don’t deserve it. That it was the horses doing all the legwork and Jack the navigating, that you haven’t really done anything but sit in the saddle. But something’s shifted, it’s been a baptism by long summer days and the great outdoors - and damn it all, you’re proud of yourself.

You came on this trip alone, with nothing but a broken relationship behind you, a suitcase full of anxieties and riding gear covered in years of dust and neglect. You said yes, perhaps recklessly, when offered the chance to spend a week alone in the mountains with a complete stranger and the glamour of sleeping bags and portable showers, when it would’ve been easier (and certainly more comfortable) to turn it down.

Somehow, you’ve come out the other end, long gallops over untouched grassland and starry campfire nights piecing you back together, only to fall so damn hard for this cowboy that you’re sure to break again when you get on that plane this afternoon -

An unexpected tug on your arm has you tumbling clumsily. ‘Jack!’

He arches an eyebrow and remarks, ‘Ain’t heard those cogs in your pretty head grind that loud since the first coupl'a days, darlin’.’

You shrug and, not wanting to sour the mood, deflect his attention with a lighthearted fib. ‘Just realised that I didn’t even come close to falling off once the entire week.’

When he chuckles, the thought comes to you that you’ll miss the way he laughs with his whole body.

‘You did real good for your first rodeo,’ he pauses, then flashes you a lascivious smirk. ‘You ain’t bad at ridin’ bareback either.’

A rebuke of his crude quip is on the tip of your tongue, but then your nose picks up on the scent of bitter coffee and maple syrup, which is quickly followed by the sighting of the al fresco table set up not far from the grill last night, the singe of smoke and whiskey still hanging in the air.

From a distance, you can see Poppy and Champ engaged in what looks like a heated debate, both gesticulating wildly with fork and knife. On the opposite side of the table, an unbothered Teak mows down his breakfast as if he’s heard it all before, and Ginger is feeding Jameson pancakes under the table.

It’s the younger cowboy who spots you two first. He freezes, brows disappearing under the brim of his Stetson when his eyes flit downwards to your interlocked hands. A huge grin would’ve split his handsome face in two if his mouth wasn’t stuffed full of half-chewed pancakes. The beans are well and truly spilled when Jameson comes bounding over, barking his demands for morning cuddles.

Champ looks up, his argument with Poppy promptly dropped. ‘Aha! There she is! Howdy young lady, we were just wonderin’ where you -’

He halts mid-sentence, his head whipping towards his right where the guest lodges are situated beyond the stables, decidedly not the direction you’re coming from. The penny drops as he takes in your hand in Jack’s, eyes wide, and all the occupants of the table seem to inhale a collective breath that stops you in your tracks.

But not Jack. He ignores the gawking with a practised air of been there, done that, and ushers you into the empty seat next to Teak without skipping a beat. Planting a sweet peck on your cheek, he settles to your left and unfolds his starched napkin with a flourished flick of his wrist, which he tucks into the neckline of his tshirt.

‘Mornin’,’ he addresses the silent table in an exaggerated southern drawl. ‘If y’all would be so kind to shut your mouths, you’re embarrassin’ me in front of my lady. Now, pass the coffee if you please, Teak.’

Fittingly, it’s Champ who breaks the silence with a rip-roaring howl of laughter, palms hitting the table so hard you’re convinced everything on it jumps a foot from the surface, the ruckus sending Jameson scampering for cover. ‘Well, well, well! Butter my butt and call it a biscuit!’

Poppy leaps to her feet, halfway to the kitchen before shouting over her shoulder. ‘We’re celebrating! This calls for strawberry milkshake!’

Teak elbows you in the side. ‘Just so y’know, Poppy ain’t the type to make strawberry milkshake for just anybody.’ He salutes you with a crooked grin. ‘Welcome to the family, sweetheart.’

It’s a brand of chaos that is distinctly Statesman. Ginger and Champ are fighting each other to load up your plate with far too much food over your protests, Teak pours coffee into your glass and orange juice in the mug, and Jameson is probing your knees under the table for scraps. You meet Jack’s eyes, and he grins back at you with a wink over the rim of his cup.

There’s no reason why you should be this hungry after the barbeque last night, but you don’t stop until you’ve polished off the sausage gravy and biscuits, the welcome richness settling in the pit of your stomach and making you second guess if you have any room left for pancakes.

‘Young lady, I hope this means you forgive me for the strings I pulled to set you two up,’ pipes up Champ around a mouthful of bacon, washed down by black coffee.

‘You’ll hear no complaints from me, sir,’ you reassure him.

He raises a fist in a pantomime of indignation. ‘You wouldn’t believe the grief Jack and Ginger put me through for playin’ matchmaker! I demand a retraction from y’all!’

Ginger raises both hands in surrender. ‘Fine, I take it all back, even if it means you’ll be downright insufferable about it! But I’ll happily live with that!'

Jack slings an arm around your shoulder. ‘It kills me to say it, but you have damn good taste, boss.’

‘Well, y’all know what they say - ain’t a pot too crooked that a lid won’t fit!’ needles Teak.

‘Hey!’ You reach across to slap him on the arm as Jack chuckles behind you. ‘I don’t see you with a lid, you loud-mouthed kettle!’

Teak sasses back, ‘Fine, fine, how ‘bout - there ain’t a man that can’t be thrown, or a cowboy that can’t be rode -’

Right on cue, Poppy’s distant shout interrupts, ‘Tequila!’

Jumping onto his feet, the cowboy winks at you. ‘Hold that thought, sunshine - right away, ma’am!’

Unperturbed by the double entendres, Champ brings the conversation right back around. ‘Well, I do declare, this nosy old man gets it right -’

‘For once!’ heckles Ginger.

‘Joke’s on you, m’dear. I only need to be right once!’

There are oohs and ahhs when Poppy and Teak reappear with the decadent milkshakes in retro fountain glasses, topped with whipped cream and strawberry slices, distributed around the table.

‘So, what are we drinking to?’ asks Poppy.

You turn to Jack, holding up your milkshake. ‘To crooked pots.’

There are cheers and laughs up and down the table, and Jack clinks your glass with a grin as he adds, ‘And cowboys that can be rode.’

You think about the cassette tapes that you used to watch when you were young. How at the end of a film, the black tape is all rolled up in the right window, and you were always the one to press the rewind button on the VCR. You still remember the whirr of the film as it went backwards, round and round, right back to the beginning.

When the coffee has gone cold and the morning chores come calling, the breakfast table empties, and you hear the click of that button when Jack offers you his upturned palm to walk you back to your cabin.

The tape rewinds as you pack. The outfit you agonised over that first day or your introductory ride with the cowboy has been laundered, and you slowly fold up each piece - the jodhpurs, the plaid shirt, the socks - and put them into your open suitcase.

The tape rewinds as you close the door to the cabin, and Jack carries your luggage across the yard in one hand, yours nestled snugly in his other.

The tape rewinds as you walk by the stables - you nip in quickly to say goodbye to Whiskey and Bourbon - past the main lodge, and the grazing field next to the parking lot.

Putting your suitcase down, Jack whistles with his fingers, the sound carrying in the wind. You see a familiar golden head pop up from across the field, and your nose prickles with the threat of tears as you watch Scotch canter towards you, ears forward and tail swishing with an attitude you can spot from a mile away. Climbing onto the first rung of the fence, you throw your arms around his neck and bury your face into his snowy mane as he snoops around your pockets, always looking for treats.

You pull an apple out of your travel bag, neatly cut in two. Scotch nickers, his velvety nuzzle tickles as he carefully plucks each half from your palm.

Combing through his forelock, you coo at him, ‘I’m gonna miss you, boy. You behave with your rider next week, you hear me?’

The key is already in the ignition of your rental pickup when Champ puts your suitcase and tote bag on the backseat floor, while Teak and Jack load the Silver Pony onto the back.

Your arm almost falls out of its socket when Poppy passes you the promised takeaway lunch, packed into a chiller bag.

‘You’re flying Delta right?’ she asks. ‘I’ll call them up with instructions on how to heat up the food. It’ll be good as fresh off the barbeque.’

‘Thank you so, so much Poppy,’ you say as she pulls you into a warm hug. ‘I hope you know you’ve ruined food for me. Nothing will ever come close to being good enough.’

She winks. ‘You’re welcome, honey. Come back soon, ok? There’s more where it came from!’

Ginger is next, and emotion clutches at your chest as you squeeze her slender frame in a tight embrace. ‘Just so you know, I was furious that you wouldn’t give me a refund when I called you up all those months ago.’

‘What can I say? I’m a tough cookie,’ she giggles, and hangs onto you for just a moment longer. ‘I’m so glad you didn’t cancel on us.’

Champ surprises you, forgoing your outstretched hand and giving you a hug for the first time. His tweed suit is softer than expected under your cheek, and smells like pipeweed and leather.

‘It’s been an absolute pleasure, young lady. I’m sure we’ll see you again very soon,’ he winks. ‘And I’ll be in touch about the social media.’

Three steps away, Teak is waiting with his arms crossed, and he pushes off the truck to bundle you into his embrace, the hug as big and as bear-like as him, which makes you chuckle.

‘Anything parting Southern wisdom for me?’ you quip.

‘I’m all out, sweetheart,’ he says, giving you a pat on the back. ‘’Cept, y’know, that cowboy’s been grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet ‘tater all week, and it’s damn annoyin’.’

Jack rolls his eyes, one palm on your back as he herds you towards the truck. ‘C’mon, darlin’, we should make a move.’

Saving himself for last, Jameson trots up to you with a bark, tail wagging. The grass is warm and tickles your bare knees when you crouch down to give him one last hug, giggling at the wet kiss he leaves on your cheek.

The leather of the passenger seat is soft as you sink down into it, while Jack closes the door behind you and crosses to the driver’s side. Inhaling deeply as the engine starts with a rusty rumble, you look up when he gives your hand a grounding squeeze.

‘Ready, darlin’?’

You nod, though not entirely convincingly. ‘Let’s go, cowboy.’

The Statesman gets smaller and smaller behind you as the truck eases down the driveway, and the four figures waving in the rearview mirror blur into tiny shadows through the mist of your tears. The metal frame of the vehicle squeaks with the movement as it rolls over bumps on the long dirt track, at the end of which, Jack takes a right with a one-handed turn of the steering wheel onto the main road, and the ranch slips out of sight.

The midday sun streams through the windshield, hot on your skin. You’re glad you changed out of the jeans from last night into a lightweight dress, a slightly frivolous last-minute addition to your luggage that’s paid off.

Staring out of the open window at the rolling landscape, it takes you right back to exactly eight days ago when you were driving down the dusty road - except this time, the Bighorn Mountains are behind you, and next to you is a cowboy instead of an empty seat.

Unabashedly, you watch him drive. His right hand is woven in yours, disengaging only to shift gears every now and then. Under the brim of his hat, his eyes are on the road, occasionally darting sideways to find himself on the receiving end of your attention.

It’s certainly an adjustment to see him in the driver’s seat after a week in the saddle - Whiskey’s, then the Silver Pony’s. But it doesn’t matter, there’s no mistaking the competence behind his every movement, be it to ease his horse to a slower gait with the lightest closing of his fingers on the leather reins, or to redirect the truck with an effortless palm on the steering wheel -

‘Take a picture, it’ll last longer,’ he drawls, a crooked smile tugging at his lips.

‘Not long enough,’ you grumble, shuffling in close.

He half-turns, moustache brushing your temple as he murmurs, ‘Have I told you that you look beautiful in that dress?’

You press a secret smile into his shoulder. ‘You sure you don’t prefer me in jodhpurs?’

Untangling his fingers to slide blunt nails under the hem of your dress and up the inside of your leg, he replies diplomatically, ‘I can see pros and cons to both.’

Your breath hitches with a warning, but the instinctive parting of your thighs gives you away. ‘Cowboy -’

You startle at what sounds like a sudden crack of thunder, but it turns out to be an enormous interstate truck charging down the opposite lane. In a panic, your knees snap shut, trapping Jack’s wandering hand between the soft cushion of your legs. To your chagrin, he makes a point of waving to the driver as he passes by.

‘Jack, he definitely saw your hand up my dress!’ you chide.

He flashes you a knowing smirk, and you shudder when he digs into the meat of your thigh with a firm squeeze. ‘Somethin’ tells me you enjoyed that, darlin’.’

Your mouth opens, ready to object, but a familiar heat warms the back of your neck the same time your throat goes dry. It’s the same thrill from last night, in the cellar, not knowing if you’ll get caught bent over a whiskey cask, jeans pulled down just enough so that this cowboy could bury his cock deep inside you.

Despite yourself, you shift in your seat, and Jack’s knuckles scrape the fast dampening seat of your panties. Choking on a strangled noise, he turns his wrist so that he can rub the outline of your folds through the thin fabric, his knuckles going white on the steering wheel. ‘Fuck. I feel that, darlin’.’

Another car comes down the opposite lane, a smaller sedan this time, and you’re bold enough to spread your thighs, letting him slip under your panties.

The car swerves sharply as hisses at the wetness he finds, fingertip gliding slickly between the lips of your pussy, smearing the mess all over as your hips rock into the contact.

Through gritted teeth, Jack groans, ‘Darlin’, you’re soaked for me.’

‘Pull over. Now.’

He does - parking haphazardly behind a tree, barely a couple of yards off the main road before killing the ignition.

You mount him immediately, throwing your right leg over his lap as if pulling yourself into the saddle, the pain an afterthought when your knee jams into the control panel on the door in your haste. Jack grunts as your hips slot flush against his, his usual composure nowhere to be found as he’s caught between undoing his seatbelt, pushing your dress up and scrabbling down the sides of the driver’s seat for the adjustment lever.

The sudden recline of the seatback pulls a squeak from you while knocking Jack’s hat clean off, and you follow to claim his lips in a messy kiss as he palms the swell of your ass.

‘Jesus Christ,’ he bites out, rocking up against your pussy, head thrown back. ‘You’re so fuckin’ sexy.’

He doesn't question you when you climb over him, taking the chance to scrape open-mouthed kisses down your neck instead - and when you sit back down on your haunches, his pupils blow wide at the sight of you wearing his hat and a flirtatious grin.

‘How about now, cowboy?’ you tease.

He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing hard as his eyes darken. ‘You’ll look even better sittin’ on my face, darlin’.’

Your jaw goes slack. ‘Jack -’

‘I want to taste you one more time. Need to. Please.’

Something breaks loose inside you, unhinges, and you crawl over the length of his lean body to steal a bruising kiss that has him hot in pursuit when you pull back. The hem of the dress brushes his face when your knees make landing on the backseat, on either side of the headrest he’s lying on. Reaching for the grab handle above, you pull yourself upright, bracing the roof of the truck while you hover over his beautiful nose.

Calloused fingers bunch up your dress to the waist, and Jack hums at the display of your drenched panties, before hooking one thumb around the seams and pulling it unceremoniously to one side.

‘Look at that pussy,’ he groans brokenly. ‘Always fuckin’ soakin’ for me. Just beggin’ for me to taste it, hmm?’

‘Jaaaack,’ you whine on an exhale. Looking down at how he’s so wantonly eyeing you, your back arches with a confidence you didn’t know you have. Thighs splaying wider, you know he hears the slick parting of your folds when he stutters a pained moan.

‘C’mere and let me eat that pretty pussy, darlin’.’

From the moment his lips close around your clit in a sloppy suckle, you know this is a different beast from that first time he took you apart with his mouth, deep in the mountains, under the secret cloak of night. The afternoon sun casts shadows where his brow is creased in studious concentration, his keen gaze flitting from where he delicately holds you open with his fingertips, to your cleavage, to your face, and all the way down again. Every twitch of muscle, every whimper caught in the web of his determination to relish all of you.

In no mood to tease, each measured lick and curl of his tongue hits its mark, your physical reflexes compounded by this show of devastating competence. He draws desperate sounds that you don't even register as your own, your needy cunt leaking all over his face and chin.

‘Cowboy,’ you mewl, reaching down to coil your fingers into his hair, the strands beaded with sweat and sticking to his forehead as he doubles down. Your squirming only makes him tighten his grip on your hips to hold you still, the bite of his fingers bordering on painful. ‘I’m so close -’

The insides of your thighs are cool and slippery, a sensation you’re well used to now, his spit and your slick completely soaking through your panties. His three-day stubble rubs your sensitive skin raw, and the top of his Stetson bumps against the ceiling as you angle your hips to catch his puckered lips where you need him most, chasing friction.

‘Jack,’ you whimper when you feel the first spark of orgasm deep inside you, the spiral instant and relentless. ‘Jack, Jack, oh fuck, - I’m there, that’s it - I’m cumming, don’tstopdon’tstopdon’t -’

Somewhere on the fringes of your scattered mind, you’re aware that the windows are down, not that you can do anything about it now - you thrash and wail and sob his name, all the while he laps at the mouth of your throbbing cunt. The sounds are obscene as he slurps and wrings every last drop of you until you’re pushing him away, nerves firing blindly from overstimulation, choking hoarsely when you catch your breath.

Watching you in a drunken daze, Jack finally draws back with a lewd pop, wiping his thoroughly soaked chin on your knee, which narrowly misses his nose as a violent, full-body shudder ripples through you.

‘Relax, darlin’,’ he cooes. All your joints have capitulated, so Jack has to bodily rearrange you, dislodging your shaky knees from his shoulders down to his sides to pull you in for a kiss. You moan at the sticky release his moustache smears all over your face, the taste of yourself thick and heavy on his tongue.

His brown eyes snap open when you sneak between your bodies to palm his erection through his jeans, voice strained. ‘Darlin’, we ain’t got the time -’

Deftly undoing his belt, that damned flask-shaped buckle that looks as ridiculous as the first time you laid eyes on it, you assure him, ‘Don’t worry, it won’t take long.’

He arches an eyebrow, taking in your face shadowed by his cowboy hat, but stays put otherwise, almost docile as he lets you take the reins. ‘Is that so? And you’re so confident, how?’

Shoving down his boxers and jeans, his cock springs free, hard and ready. With a brazen grin, you sit up and line yourself up to the swollen tip, declaring, ‘Because I want you to cum inside me, cowboy.’

You’re not sure if it’s you sinking down on him, or him snapping his hips upwards. All you know is that by the time your head catches up, he’s driven to the hilt inside you.

‘What are you - fuck you’re so tight -’ he wheezes against your lips, giving you no pause as he ruts into you recklessly, the crude slap of skin on skin filling every space the truck. ‘Whatcha mean by cummin’ inside you?’

‘I don’t know how I can be more clear, cowboy,’ you sass, when a particularly deep thrust almost jolts you off his lap.

‘But you’re not on birth control, darlin’ -’ he tries to reason.

‘I’ll take the morning after pill as soon as I land,’ you promise, holding his unfocused gaze. ‘Do you trust me?’

The wind is knocked out of you when his strong arms pull you flush to his front, his answer immediate and irrevocable. ‘With everythin’.’

There’s too much going on. The coarse scratch of denim on the inside of your thighs, his nails scraping down your ass, the desperate whimpers he leaves in the secret place behind your ear. The air grows humid and thick as Jack feels himself slipping, your pussy gripping him so tightly that his eyes threaten to roll back into his skull.

He gasps in a breathless warning. ‘Darlin' -’

‘It’s ok, cowboy,’ you croon, fingers carding through his dark hair. ‘I want to feel you deep inside me. All of you.’

His bones rattle with a vicious shudder at your words. Snarling, he bucks into you at a pace so unrelenting that you cry out with each snap of his hips.

‘Gonna stuff you so fuckin’ full,’ he vows in between slippery kisses. ‘Been wantin’ to since the first time. Gonna fill your pussy with my cum, darlin’, you’ll be drippin’ with me for days -’

‘Yes yes yes do it cowboy, please -’ you beg, voice cracking.

‘Look at me,’ he orders, nostrils flaring as you knock foreheads. ‘Look at me while I fuck you full, darlin’.’

Choking on a whine, you feel him swell inside you until he teeters right on the brink. The raw need in his eyes robs you of your breath, and you grow faint on empty lungs as you sway with him -

And then his neck strains, his hips jerk, and you feel his abdomen cave in on itself when he lets go with your name on his lips, and his on yours. A primal roar fills your ears as he pumps you full of him, spilling into you again and again until all you feel is his cum hot and deep inside you, flooding your cunt, his whole body spasming as he pants raggedly for air.

A carnal musk hangs ripe and sweltering in the confines of the truck. Floating on a lazy stupor, you draw soothing circles on his quickly rising and falling chest through the aftershocks, his tshirt clammy with sweat, heart pounding under your palm.

Jack reaches up to push off his hat so that he can see all of you before pulling you in for a lingering kiss. When he softens, his spend dribbling slow and hot out of you, two thick fingers nudge between your thighs, and your back arches when he tenderly pushes it back inside.

His plea is a hoarse mumble into the side of your neck. ‘Keep me in you, darlin’. Take me with you.’

You nod, and smile, ‘Always.’

The airport is tiny, and Jack seems to know everyone you cross paths with. From the security guard at the carpark (previously a groom at the Statesman) to the staffer at the car rental counter (Champ’s nephew), he’s busy tipping his hat and dispatching howdy’s left, right and centre.

‘Small town, huh?’ you quip.

He hums, ‘Welcome to cowboy country.’

And he definitely knows the brunette checking you in at the airline counter, all the while glowering at you over the top of your driving licence.

‘Ain’t seen you 'round town much lately, Jack,’ she says, affixing you with a none too subtle glare.

‘Y’know how it is in the summer, always busy,’ he replies a touch too politely. As soon as he drops your suitcase onto the baggage belt, he wraps one even less subtle arm around your waist and pulls you pointedly into his side.

You bite your lip as the woman’s eyes narrow and she aggressively punches your details into the computer system, surprised that the keyboard doesn’t break. Once your suitcase is on its merry way, Jack wastes no time spiriting you away from the counter without so much of a fare-thee-well.

You burst into laughter, elbowing him in the ribs. ‘Brrrrrr. That was cold!’

Jack pinches the bridge of his nose, admitting, ‘To be fair to her, she didn’t catch me at my finest moment.’

‘Do I want to know?’

‘Let’s just say there ain’t enough of this ol’ cowboy to go ‘round for the ladies in town,’ he winks.

‘Well, I hope they know there’s about to be even less of you going forward,’ you sniff primly.

Preening at the possessiveness in your tone, Jack ribs, ‘A tragedy, some might say.’

You huff, but can’t help a smile. ‘Well, aren’t I lucky to have roped you in, cowboy.’

‘And she can’t even lasso!’ he teases, leaning down to steal a kiss.

Feeling eyes on you, you duck your head, protesting, ‘Jack, people are looking.’

‘Let ‘em,’ he counters, prompting a gasp from you when he brazenly squeezes your ass through your dress. ‘I’m stakin’ my claim, darlin’.’

‘You already did in the truck, cowboy,’ you remind him, instinctively rubbing your thighs together, feeling the weight of his cum wet in your panties.

He hums, as if he knows, the sound deep and satisfied. His lips linger at the crown of your head, and he holds you close with his whole body, wrapping himself around your soul.

All too soon, the old-fashioned Solari board you’re sitting under whirrs into action. The retro split-flap display spins and flips with a mechanical staccato to spell out ‘final boarding call’ next to your flight number, one of five scheduled for that afternoon.

Stubbornly, you turn your face into Jack’s shoulder, inhaling him. He smells like horses and dappled sun filtered through leaves in a tree - you wish you could distil it into a bottle and take it with you.

You’re in denial, that much you know. You’ve warded off the thought of leaving too well, compartmentalised it and pushed it down somewhere it wouldn't be able to resurface.

But that’s the irony - even if you can keep it buried, it doesn’t change the fact that your suitcase is in the belly of the plane parked on the runway, that you’re about to leave Wyoming behind and put thousands of miles between you and this cowboy, who has gone uncharacteristically quiet as the minutes tick down.

Eventually, he murmurs slowly into your hair, as if the words are physically weighing him down. ‘C’mon, darlin.’

Your feet are heavy, dragging, and Jack has to practically strong-arm you out of the airport terminal and onto the tarmac. He holds you as you loiter at the back of the queue, until the crowd disperses, and the stewardess at the top of the boarding stairs gives you both a knowing but firm look.

That’s when the tears spill over the seams of your lashes where they’ve been teetering, held back by sheer willpower and clenched teeth. Ugly sobs bubble out of your throat, and Jack pulls you into him, his own voice thick as he rocks you soothingly. ‘It’s ok, darlin’. I’ll see you before you know it.’

‘But when?’ you wail, almost petulantly.

He answers with no hesitation, and it’s obvious to you that he isn’t just thinking on his feet, that he’s been making plans, but kept it close to his chest.

‘We have back-to-back pack trips the next three weeks, so I can’t get away. But next month, after the Kingsman’s rescheduled bookin’, I’ll take a whole week off.’

‘That’s an entire month away,’ you grumble into the soaked front of his tshirt.

‘I know, but you’ll need time to plan all the things we’re gonna see,’ he jokes, recalling your fireside conversation. ‘You’re gonna take this country mouse to all the museums and art galleries and all kinds of big city adventures, ain’t that right?’

You give him a watery smile. ‘I stand by the sex and Thai takeaway in bed plan.’

‘Even better,’ he answers, and you hold onto the way the crease of his smile lines bring out the soul in his eyes. ‘I’ll call you, darlin’, ok?’

Somehow, you muster the good humour to tease, ‘The cool kids FaceTime nowadays, and I hear your phone doesn’t have a working camera.’

He laughs, and you can’t quite tell if it’s tears clinging to his lashes, or if it’s a trick of the light. He thumbs away the wet streaks from your cheeks, nose brushing yours in a solemn promise. ‘I’ll get a new one.’

‘Just for me?’

And then he’s kissing you, plush lips slanting across yours, dragging slow like honey. When he pulls back, he breathes, ‘Anythin’ for you, darlin’.’

Jack has to physically unclench his fingers to let you step back. When your hand slides out of his, it takes him everything not to pull you back, or run after you up the stairs. He grasps the railing so hard his knuckles go bone-white as you turn back to him one last time at the aircraft door.

You blow him a kiss, your smile brave but wobbly. ‘Goodbye, cowboy.’

He swallows hard, wanting to be strong for you, but still, his voice wavers. ‘I’ll see you, darlin’. So soon.’

You nod, your tears catching the afternoon light as the stewardess ushers you into the cabin.

Then it hits him.

You’re not going to be in his arms when he wakes up tomorrow. You’re not going to be there when he reaches around for you - your face, your neck, your voice.

You’re not going to be there.

Jack watches your tear-streaked face appear at one of the windows, and he tries to smile at you, wishing he’d insisted on one last kiss. The heat from the jet engines and the sun is bouncing off the tarmac, but he’s cold, so cold, that his fingers have gone stiff. Nothing feels real, as if he’s been wrapped in cling film and dunked underwater, and he almost doesn’t hear the voice to his left.

The air traffic controller says apologetically, ‘’Mfraid we gotta clear the runway, sir.’

He fumbles over his words. ‘’Course. Sorry.’

Pressing his index and middle fingers to his lips, he waves the kiss at you, which you catch with your palm against the glass. Determined not to miss one single second, he slowly walks backwards with the controller beside him as he waves the batons.

He says sympathetically, ‘It’s always hard, but it gets easier.’

Jack glances at him with a questioning look.

He chuckles good-naturedly. ‘You ain’t the first lovelorn cowboy I seen on this runway sayin’ ‘bye to his city girl.’

His lips quirk despite himself, eyes still on you even as the plane slowly taxis away. He says, ‘I sure hope you’re right, man.’

With one last wave, the plane pivots, and you disappear around the bend.

Empty. He feels empty.

The sadness is helium in his chest, inflating between the gaps of his ribs, and he feels himself drift even with each footfall of his heavy boots on the concrete, while a dull ache ricochets in the hollow spaces of his skull.

Grappling for an anchor, Jack forces himself to focus, one thing at a time. Key in the ignition, twist, the whirr of the engine. Switching on the radio, it cackles between the frequencies as he straps his Stetson to the backseat, then swings one leg over the saddle and puts on his helmet.

The static starts taking on shape, lyrics and guitar riffs cutting through the white noise and catching his attention just as he wraps his fingers around the rubber grip of the handlebars.

I want to ride off on a palomino

Feel the fire in my breath and the breeze in my hair as I go

Why the hell am I even looking back for?

For I know, where you go my love goes

He misses the ghost of your arms around his waist, the slope of your nose tucked into his nape. He misses you. He wants to see your face the minute you get off that plane on the other side of the country. He wants to hear your voice before he goes to bed tonight. He wants to tell you mornin’ first thing tomorrow when he gets up.

As the 737 roars overhead, the shadow passing over him, he wonders if you can spot him from the clouds.

He’d better crack on and get to the shop in town before it closes.

Steering smoothly out of the parking lot, Jack takes a left, the Silver Pony kicking up dust with a purr as she cruises down the country roads -

The same country roads that brought you to him.

Fin

More notes: I've been writing fanfiction on and off for the past 17 years. Corny as it sounds, it feels like everything I've ever written has been leading up to this fic. I put my heart and soul into Palomino, and it's repaid me tenfold. It gave me the chance to write about my love for horses, to fall in love not only with cowboy Jack, but with Darlin', Teak, the entire cast and the horses, this whole universe that I built in my head. And it gave me all of you - the most wonderful, supportive friends and readers I've had the pleasure of writing for.

I hope I will have the chance to revisit the Palomino universe one day. But for now, I'm ridiculously proud for finishing this series and for giving it the ending it deserves. I don't think I will ever write a fic that I love so deeply again. Palomino was it for me, and I'm forever grateful that I got to share this incredible journey with all of you.

There are some special people I need to thank, please forgive me if I leave anyone out, I appreciate each and everyone of you ❤️

LJ @prolix-yuy: The wonderful friend and writer who made me fall in love with cowboy Jack in first place with her epic Westworld Whiskey series, which is also coming to an end next week. I've said this many times and I'll never stop saying it - there would've been no Palomino if not for LJ. Thank you for being my inspiration bestie, you are the literal best.

Ash @mandoblowmybackout: My OG bestie and fellow cat mum, one of the first people I screeched about cowboy Jack to, I treasure our friendship so much, thank you for your support.

Maddie @imaswellkid: Maddie, thank you for being in my corner throughout Palomino and for holding my hand when I need it (which is often). Talking to you about Palomino in person - well, talking about anything and everything to you in person - was one of the most surreal moments of last year, and I'm hoping it won't be long before I see you again.

Sil @psychedelic-ink: Sil, light of my life, thank you for always being there for me, for listening and talking me down from the ledge many times. I'm so lucky to have you, and to have you love cowboy Jack as much as I do. Talking to you is always the highlight of my day!

Peaches @ohsomightypeaches: Screaming at you/being screamed at by you about anything cowboy Jack is always so much fun, and not just Jack, but also Teak, Champ, etc.. Your love for this series is beyond infectious, thank you for your support and for always making me smile!

Skye @iamskyereads: Skye my love, I believe I was admiring you from afar when you popped up in my notifs with a reblog of the first chapter, and I remember how excited I was! So grateful that Palomino brought you into my life.

Heidi @wildemaven: Thank you for gifting Palomino with not one beautiful video edit, but also a gorgeous moodboard! You are an angel!

Jules @julesonrecord: My fellow cowboy aficionado, your enthusiasm for s'mores and Jack always makes me smile. Thank you for your support, truly.

Jo @mvtthewmurdvck: Thank you for listening to me rant and rave and holding my hand during my meltdown. I'm so grateful for you!

Snowsuit anon: It's always a joy to hear from you, and I will hold you forever responsible for sparking the snowsuit craze (affectionate) 💙 Thank you for your support my lovely!

A special shoutout to my lovely readers who have followed Palomino from the very beginning. Thank you for sticking with me, I really feel like we went on this trip together, all of us: @lola-lola-lola, @harriedandharassed, @witchisenpai, @miss-mandalorian, @fireproofmarta, @dreamymyrrh, @inkededucatednnerdy, @toomanystoriessolittletime, @freakrenaissance, @axshadows, @damnyoupedro, @thosewickedlovelies, @peridotsparadox, @radiowallet, @sherala007, @shirks-all-responsibilities

And needless to say, thank you for every single one of you (I wish I could tag everyone but we'll be here all day!), every comment, reblog, ask, tag for Palomino. You have been an absolutely joy to write for, your love and encouragement kept me going, I really don't know how I've been so lucky, y'all have my heart forever ❤️

Last but not least, thank you @saradika for these adorable dividers!

#palomino series #jack daniels fanfiction #jack daniels x you #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x f!reader #agent whiskey fanfiction #agent whiskey x you #agent whiskey x f!reader #agent whiskey x reader #Spotify

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strawb3rrystar · 10 days

Note

AGH YOU CAN DO THEN WHENEVER UR NOT BUSY!!!

can i get a platonic Angel x Fem! sinner where she was a loser in her life (no bitches, no money, no game etc. etc.) and feels so awkward about having not done anything further than holding hands (kissing a partner or even sex)

so she runs to angel and confides in him and he is like “lol pookie thats an easy fix” and smooches her (i am a firm believer in platonic kissing with consent but u can remove that) and tells her that she doesnt need to rush to do those things, esp if its her first time? he could also prop her to pay him for the kiss (about 200 dollars kekw)

(totally isnt self projecting kekw)

Better dead than never.

Pairing: Angel Dust x Fem! Sinner! Reader

Warnings: Platonic kisses, Reader is implied to have sold their soul

Word count: 486

✰Masterlist

You were a loser in your life. That much you knew. Constantly being bullied your whole childhood. Never being able to get more than a first date. Having no money to your name. Dying alone and cold in an alleyway behind a bar. That was your existence. A lonely one.

You don't know what you did exactly to get into Hell, but here you were anyway. Might as well make the most of it, huh?

One day, while polishing the banisters of the hotel, you were thinking about your life before death. How you were unhappy, so you drowned yourself in alcohol. You realize that you had never had your first kiss. Even in death you hadn't kissed anyone yet. So you went to the one sinner you knew had lots of experience. Angel Dust.

You walk into his room without knocking, walking in on him combing the fur on his chest. You walk up next to him and tap on his shoulder, making him jump and throw the comb at you. He calms down when he realizes it's just you. "Jeez toots. Don't sneak up on me like that."

You mumble out an apology, but he reassures you it's okay. "So, you gonna tell me why you snuck into my room?"

"I've never had my first kiss." You reply. Angel raises an eyebrow. Why did you need his help with that?

"So? It's not that big of a deal." He shrugs, turning back to look at himself in the mirror. You grab onto the robe he's wearing, shaking him a little. "It is a big deal, Angel!"

Angel's eyes are wide as you shake him. He grabs onto your hands and holds them in his. "Toots, calm down."

You take a deep breath, doing as he asked. "I wanted your advice."

Angel blinks in surprise for a few seconds. "On what?"

"How to get guys to notice me!" You raise your voice slightly. Your soulless black eyes stare into his, pleading for help.

"You don't need a guy, trust me." Angel rolls his eyes, then puts on a comforting look.

"Well.. I still want to have my first kiss." You sigh, shaking your head. You look away from Angel, but he grabs your jaw and turns you back. Before you have time to react his lips are on yours. It only lasts a second before he pulls away again, leaving you dumbfounded.

"There. No need to rush into things, toots." Angel gives your head a pat as you slowly blink. "I think it's better that you haven't done anything like that."

"Huh..? Why?" You question, slowly coming back to reality.

"It gives you a better chance of gettin' into heaven." He turns back to the mirror again.

"Really?" You cock your head to the side. Angel responds with a shrug, looking at you with a grin. "I don't know. Probably? Heavens fucked up like that."

Star's notes -> PLATONIC KISSES >>>>

(Thank you, @sweetadonisbutbetter for requesting!) (Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @alexandria-fandom @corruptcoder @astrolovedy @perfectlycraftychaos @stressedbleach @ghostdoodlen @idontreallyexistyet @roboticsuccubus83 @blood-heart22 @cirrus-sampling-sanity @onyxxtheghost @sugarplumz100 @myamythos @hazbinhappy @samohxt2-0 @mollzaj @sunshines-bright @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @sweetadonisbutbetter @little-miss-chaoss | Join the taglist

#☆strawb3rrystar answers requests #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin angel dust #angel dust x reader #angel dust #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you

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aarkose · 2 years

Text

Everyone calls Dream a pathetic petty little baby girl and like, yeah he is - but

And the characters themselves are like Morpheus is cold, unfeeling, harsh, cruel and yeah he can be and he holds intense grudges - but

I haven't really seen anyone talk about the scene where he's facing the Corinthian, who Morpheus admits was his masterpiece. And our favourite nightmare pointedly says that Dream doesn't care about humanity. He only cares about himself, and his realm and his rules.

Morpheus sort of gets exasperated here, like really dude? And tells us he contains the entire collective unconscious, without his rules it would consume him and humanity. Like maybe he's been there before, or close to it. He admitted he lost an entire universe before because he didn't take out their vortex.

His voice trembles on the word consume, like its always there, ready to crush him, like he's constantly battling, like he's tired, like no one's ever really asked, understood or comprehended that before and he's admitting it for maybe the first time or it's one of the very few. And of all the beings he's admitting it to the Corinthian who throws it in his face.

Death more or less says dream mopes and he should get over it. Fiddler's Green insinuates he's almost incapable of apology or empathy. Lucienne believes he dismisses their efforts and that he's harsh with his punishments. Gault in their defiance tries to make him see that things should be capable of change and wanting something different.

No one seems to get the truth of him? Or part of it. Or if they do it's not apparent and it seems a great tragedy to me. When he says the entire collective unconscious, I'm assuming he means entire, as in not just human - as in all life including other species we don't know of, that are otherwise 'alien'. It seems almost unfathomable to me no one stops to think he's the way he is for a reason.

Every single unconscious thought, decision, fear, nightmare, dream, hope - anything and everything that can manifest in dreams from the nonsensical and absurd to disturbing and whimsical, including concepts we don't even understand as humans. That is what Morpheus is made of. The screams dying in throats as people wake from horrors, the reoccurring scenes of falling, being chased, being late, the grief from loved ones dying, flying, school, sex - the ones that don't make any sense.

The nightmares that are so real and strong you can't get back to sleep. The dreams that are so sweet or fantastic you wake up mourning their loss. Day dreams, dreams that pick up where they left off, lucid dreams, depraved and disturbing dreams. The little thoughts we have about others we'd never say out loud or tell another living soul but they exist. It's all real, part of what makes us who we are and every other being that can dream - no wonder Morpheus' voice trembles on the word consume. That has to be near maddening? Like he's riding the line between insanity at any given moment because dreams can be entirely bizarre as much as they can hold significant meaning.

So he mopes? He's distant? He's cruel or uncaring. Unfeeling in how he operates - I feel like I would be too if I contained the concepts of the entirety of existence - everything his siblings govern exists in his realm in the form of dreams. You can dream about desire, death, destruction, delirium, destiny, despair, all of it. He doesn't feel enough? Distant? Ungrateful?

I think he feels too much, way too much and he can only push it down so far, or hold it back just enough. It makes him seem so delicate in my mind, like those who bottle and bottle. Pushing everything down or back just to keep functioning and then one little thing makes them snap. Suddenly you've damned your former lover to ten thousand years in hell because that amount of time and processing doesn't seem unreasonable against the impossibly incomprehensible thing that is existences unconscious. Let's not forget the souls in hell or every other afterlife, if they also dream, the concept of dreams as goals, the act of dreaming, creation and destruction, every nasty little thought, every fucked up thing anyone has ever comprehended and every joy.

Maybe that's why everyone's harsh on him in my eyes, that he should have all this perspective but seemingly doesn't? But he believes what he does because he has that perspective and some things within that spectrum do not change, they repeat because there's only so much that can exist, and that has to be tiresome.

But honestly, the other Endless, dreams and nightmares should realise what he's dealing with? Especially those close to him, or orbiting because no one is ever really close, and if dreams and nightmares can dream then Morpheus should know those too. I'd probs keep everyone away from me if I was a scrambled construct of emotions.

Fuck me up honestly. My tiny human brain is snapping trying to even comprehend the inner workings of Dream. None of this even makes sense. Just let the man rest, give the baby girl some slack. He's got both feet off the edge and no one's got his back. I'm tired now.

TLDR: Dream probably is the way he is because being who he is, is a lot.

#the sandman #lord of dreams #dream of the endless #useless ramblings #the sandman meta #meta #netflix the sandman #the sandman spoilers #the sandman netflix #morpheus #lord morpheus #i'm sorry about this but I had to get it out #for safe keeping #my ramblings #neil gaiman #bunch of bullshit I word vomited for no reason

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xxlemon-chanxx · 2 months

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Ok, what about if philip/belos has a partner toxic as him but they still love each other?

Now—there are a LOT of relationship dynamics that fall under the general “toxic” umbrella. I'm going to go ahead and explain the one my mind went to first when I initially read this ask, so it might not be the same version of “toxic” that you're thinking of. I'm sorry in advance!

Also, this is going to be more or less the same between Philip and Belos, so I'm not going to do two separate sections, and I'm just going to explain the one that I'd find more interesting narratively.

So—here’s the “toxic” relationship that I first imagined:

⚠️⚠️TW for suicide baiting and general emotionally abusive behaviors!⚠️⚠️

overly dependant, insecure SO who constantly needs reassurance and hangs off of Belos’s every action because they worry he’ll grow bored of them and leave them, and is overall very possessive of him to the point of being incapable of wanting to leave Belos’s side for even a moment + overly-controlling and manipulative Belos who revels in the idea that his love is too desperate to ever want to leave him despite his flaws.

S/O can barely stand it. Their husband constantly talks to countless people every day—its part of his job description as the annihilator of an entire populous! And there are so many talented, intelligent, and attractive witches that make up the castle staff. They can't help but feel that rush of anxiety in their chest when one of said witches needs to talk to their husband—seriously, why not give the news to them? They'd be more than happy to pass along the message to their husband if it was really THAT important.

Even when Belos tells them countless times that he'd never trade them for a witch, no matter how much venom is in his voice as he practically spits the word, there's that lingering doubt. They're so much prettier. Does he think those witches walking the halls are prettier than them? His gauntlet lingered by that coven head’s hand for a few moments too long for their tastes, surely that means he's having an abhorrent love affair with that witch.

Whenever their anxiety flares up like this, it inevitably ends in a freakout and breakdown. They’ll fall to their knees at Belos’s feet, clutching letters that were strictly business but had just enough reverent language from an underling for S/O to misconstrue as romantic or intimate feelings between them.

They’ll scream, they’ll cry, initially demanding to know why he'd trade them for a witch, after all they've given him. What do they have that they don't? What could they possibly offer him? Is it their body? They're prettier than me, is that it? Are they smarter than me? What is it, damn you? What? What? WHAT?

Then, after Belos manages to calm them down, that rage turns to sorrow as they realize that they snooped through their husband's possessions, his private, confidential letters to find evidence that didn't even exist. They’ll apologize incoherently, clutching at his robes, spewing promise after promise that this was going to be the last time, that they were never going to snoop again and please don't leave them because they can't imagine a world where he doesn't want them, and please, if he doesn't want them, they might just die. No, scratch that. They WILL die. They. Will. DIE. If he tosses them out like trash.

And as they fumble out their apologies and half-baked, empty, rehearsed promises, Belos simply wraps them in his arms, tucking their head under his chin as a soft, tired smile graces his lips. He knows this will not be the last time, but he can't bring himself to be too annoyed by it. After all, he does partially enjoy a few of the behaviors his beloved exhibits.

He loves the way they're practically attached to his hip. He loves the way he never has to worry whether or not they're truly loyal to him or if they genuinely love him. That desperation is so thick he could cut it with a knife and spread it on toast. He doesn't need to constantly have his hand in them like a sock puppet because they follow him around like a lovesick puppy, staying quiet and out of the way while he does the important work and then swooping in during down moments to squeeze in some affection and much-needed fishing for reassurance.

He still lies to them, obviously. His dishonesty is probably the biggest trigger for S/O’s insecurity. Nevertheless, S/O would never leave Belos because—well…who else would willingly put up with that level of inconvenience? And Belos would never want them to leave because that's the most loyal and devoted to him someone could possibly be, and they're a human who accepts him despite his issues. Why in the Hells would he ever give that up?

#philip wittebane #toh philip #belosfanstakeover #toh #toh emperor belos #emperor belos #belos wittebane #the owl house belos #toh belos #toh belos x reader #emperor belos x oc #emperor belos x reader #belos x oc #belos x reader

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slvt4elliew · 4 months

Text

in a good way (1)

"i didn't know that i was capable of being happy right now...but you showed me how."

cw: angst, mentions of death/su!c!de, mentions of self-harm, marijuana usage, drinking, explicit language, slow burn (im so sorry), panic attack(??), dad joke near the end, idk what else

a/n: this isn't really my first time writing angst (not on here) buttttt im still nervy. idk how to feel. i spent a dumb amount of time on this and it still sucks!! this series is also gonna be long so i apologize. but its necessary i promise! i just feel like ppl don't write about ellie falling in love enough. all of it. i wanna see and write all that stupid lovey stuff, from the start. idk how to write so be nice (ori'llcry) also listen to this song i love it sm.

you shoot awake, beads of sweat forming on your forehead and your breath quick. in out in out in out in out. for the past month you've been plagued by nightmares, making you wake up hyperventilating nearly every night. earlier this month marked the one year since your best friend passed away.

lucy meyer, the only person who truly understood you, took her own life last year on november 3rd. there's no word in the entire dictionary to express the pain you constantly felt. you tried so hard to cope, therapy sessions after therapy sessions. nothing helped. nothing could replace the comfort of being with lucy, just knowing she existed used to bring you happiness. lonely wasn't even a good word to describe how you felt, it was so much more than that. you felt so empty without her.

you had been doing "good" before now. you made a few new friends, dina, jesse, abby, and you left your house more. but the sudden reminder of lucy's absence sent you tumbling down again. it had only been a year. how were you meant to live a whole lifetime without her? without your best friend? the dull ache you felt in your chest worsened every day without her.

your eyes stung with tears as you slowly caught your breath. you were sitting up in your, almost overwhelmingly so, cozy bed. your eyes blinked quickly and rapidly, your eyes darting across your pitch black room. you eventually shoved the suffocatingly thick duvet off your body and stood from your queen bed. you lumber over to your bathroom, flickering on the warm lights and squinting from the brightness. you slowly adjust to the nearly blinding light, rubbing your tired eyes.

what you see in the mirror looks like a whole different person. you frown, seeing the dark under eye bags and sunken face. your hair's all frizzy and messed up from the terrible sleep you were having, you flatten it with your hands. your weary eyes glance down at the picture frame that sat on the sink, picking it up to get a better look at the photo in the frame. the photo was one of you and lucy two years ago in june, it was a selfie of you both in a pool. her long and curly black hair was pulled up into a high bun on top of her head. her dark blue eyes store into yours as you examine the photo, making you let out a choked sob as a tear runs down your face.

lucy was always beautiful. she was the most beautiful person you had ever met, inside and out. she had fairly pale skin and soft features. some acne was on her chin and left, rosy cheek. she had fluffy, arched eyebrows with a slit in her left one. you remember the day she put it there. she claimed she wanted to "look more edgy" with a giggle as she lifted the razor to her eyebrow, exposing her slit wrists when her long sleeves accidentally slipped down a little.

you set the picture frame back down and wipe the tears that must've fallen from your face at some point. you didn't exactly remember when they did. you quickly piss and wash your hands before you shut off the light and walk back into your bedroom, flopping onto your warm bed. the time on your phone said 4:24 am in a bright white font. you laid on your back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. you didn't fall back asleep that night.

you were so glad you had no classes today, you rarely had fridays off but you just so happened to today. you were fucking lucky too, having something as drastic as your best friend dying happen and being a busy college student wasn't for the faint of heart. currently, your closest friend at the moment, dina, was dragging you to a party with her boyfriend jesse and one of their friends, ellie, who you've never met.

"damn...i'd hit. seriously though, you look hot." she winks at you after you exit your closet, dressed in a tiny jean skirt and see-through, hot pink, long sleeved shirt. since it was fairly see-through, you could see the pink bra you paired with it underneath.

if you were being honest, you didn't want to go to this stupid fucking party. you wanted to stay home, and maybe cry a little. most of all. you wanted lucy. you needed lucy.

while you fix up your hair for the party, dina's phone buzzes. the message was from jesse, telling her that he was there and ellie was gonna meet you guys there. as you stand, dina gives you a wink and playfully smacks your ass as you roll your eyes and walk out the doorway. walking up to jesse's black jeep ranger, you slide into the back seat and dina sits in the passenger seat, dina mumbling a small "hi, babe" with a giggle. jesse smiles at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he turns his attention to you.

"yn! you hoe! i missed you, where've you been!?" jesse practically yells at you, making you flinch slightly before chuckling. you really had missed jesse.

"y'know...i have a mysterious reputation to uphold. gotta go ghost every now and then." you jokingly huff out, looking down at your lap and flattening your jean mini skirt. the words them both chuckle out a small laugh, it was comforting to hear that noise again. but you knew dina knew. she always did.

already feeling nauseous, the car pulled over and parked on the street near the house. the cool night breeze burned your exposed legs, making you shiver slightly. people were spilling out of the front door and sitting on the lawn, most people smoking with a drink in their other hand. the base boosted music could be heard from outside the house, making your head hurt already. you felt sick, you needed a drink or something.

walking past loads of drunk young adults, all three of you make it into the house, finding it fairly crowded. jesse goes off to find a place to sit while you and dina make your way to the kitchen, finding it slightly less crowded. dina poured you both shots, which you downed immediately, cringing as the liquid burned your throat. you perk up when you notice a stack of red solo cups, quickly grabbing one and pouring whatever drinks there was out into your cup, making a brown drink that hurt to swallow.

dina leaves you to find and probably make out with jesse, leaving you alone to babysit your drink. bad idea. you never could drink responsibly, finding it impossible to stop once you've started. the warm feeling that grew in your lower stomach and how your mind melted into mush was unbeatable.

"hey, you were lucy meyer's friend right?" a voice rang from in front of you, urging you to look up at the stranger. it felt like you've been here for an hour, your heels aching from the constant standing. "were". your chin quivered at the reminder of your best friend's permanent absence. you look up at the stranger, blinking away the haze in your eyes.

"uh, yeah...w-why?" you mumble out with a chuckle, tripping over your words. while drunk, everything was funny, letting you feel something good for the first time in a while.

"oh, no reason, you just looked familiar. um...sorry about what happened n' stuff.." and suddenly nothing was funny anymore. it was too crowded, too many people. you found yourself overwhelmed and suddenly you felt like you couldn't breathe. constantly breathing in warm, used air, you thought you might choke.

you don't even reply before stumbling away, almost frantically trying to get to the back door. you elbow your way through the crowds of people, not bothering to apologize to the people who curse at you. you quickly slide open the glass door to try and get fresh air. you plop down on the top step of the back porch and attempt to catch your breath, completely unaware of the person who was sitting beside you, curiously eyeing you up and down.

your elbows rest on your knees, your face in your hands as you try not to cry. maybe you were overdramatic, but just hearing lucy's name made you tear up. still unaware of the girl next to you, you sniffle and huff into your hands. suddenly there was a soft tap on your shoulder, making you jump a little as you pull your face out of your hands, looking over to your left at the mystery person.

"hey, uh...you alright?" the girl asks, scratching the back of her neck. you want the world to swallow you, bury you in a hole to never be found again.

you take a moment to take in her appearance. she had auburn hair that stopped a little above her shoulders, the layers made it almost look like a mullet and it was styled in a half-up half-down bun. she had mossy green eyes, the kind you could easily get lost in. the way her right eyebrow was slightly raised made you notice the small scar through it. you immediately thought of lucy. you wonder how she got it. her face was covered in pretty freckles, clusters of them painting constellations across her face. she had a half-burnt blunt in her left hand, her elbow resting on her bent knee.

you stare at her with wide, teary eyes, mouth slightly agape and seemingly out of breath. you blink a few times before haphazardly wiping your eyes -- trying not to smudge your makeup -- and looking away, looking up at the night sky. "fine... sorry, have you been sitting there this whole time?" you ask, your eyes drifting over to her again.

"kinda, yeah.." she responds with a quiet chuckle, huffing a small laugh through her nose. her smile makes a warm feeling flutter in your stomach. even though you literally just met her, you felt sorta comfortable around her. she had some weirdly nice presence. "you look familiar, what's your name? i'm ellie."

ellie. what a pretty name for such a pretty girl... seriously, she was crazily handsome. wait. suddenly it clicked in your head. "ellie? as in ellie williams or...?" you asked hesitantly, snapping your head to look over at her. she was already looking at you, silently admiring the way the moon hit your face.

"yeah... how'd the fuck you know that?" she asks with a laugh, her eyes narrowing at you. she shifts on the step slightly, turning to face you a little more. your knees almost touch, both of you angled at each other. there's a small smirk playing on her lips, a playful glint in her jade eyes.

her smile makes you dumbly smile as you explain, "dina and jesse told me about you, they really wanted us to meet." you're not sure why you're smiling. there isn't really a reason to smile, especially not when you think about the whole reason you came out here in the first place.

"oh shit! are you y/n?" the blunt in her hand was completely forgotten about. she put it out on the spot next to her on the old wooden steps. she shifted to face you even more, her body nearly completely turned. you did the same. you nod at her, a small smile still on your lips.

you both talk. and talk. and talk. for what feels like hours. strangely enough, being around ellie made you forget about everything. all the shit that went down last year, this dumb fucking party. all of it. you felt sorta free. you didn't think about lucy, about what you two would be doing right now, if she was still here. no. none of that. you're in the present for once in your fucking life. you didn't even think about how cold it was outside, you didn't care.

ellie made you feel free. even though you only just met her. thinking about it too hard made you feel a little crazy. 'you only just met this girl, how do you already feel so good around her?' so you don't think about that either. a loud buzz buzz came from your handbag, pulling you away from the conversation you were having. you open your phone to a text from dina.

dee 🩷: wgere tf r u girl

you: outside

you: r u guys trying to leave?

dee 🩷: yss

dee 🩷: hrry my feeet hurt

you look back over to ellie, frowning. "i gotta go."

"aww, you didn't even get to hear the rest of my cool dad jokes."

"i knowww. this stinks."

"can i at least get your number... y'know, to show you all my cool dad jokes?"

you huff a laugh through your nose and wait for her to pull out her phone. you quickly put in your number as you hear your own phone buzz again. dina was so impatient. you save your contact name as "y/n :)"

"can't wait to hear 'em all!" you joke to her as you walk back into the house.

the drive home was fine. they blasted some pop music dina loved, she screamed along to the lyrics, still plastered. they quickly arrived at your house.

you walk up the carpeted stairs to your apartment room, keys jingling in your hand. as you open the door, you flicker the lights on and kick off your shoes. fuck high heels.

home. a lot of people say "home is where i'm happy." or whatever. but its kinda the opposite for you. home is where you allow yourself to feel, where you think. your mind's not mush anymore, you can think and feel again. and all you feel is hurt. that stupid ache is back. the dull feeling in your chest that just won't budge. at home you feel like you're slowly being sucked into a black hole.

you huff and toss your bag onto the table, phone in your other hand. you shuffle to your bedroom, turning off the main lights and on your bedroom lights. you strip from your uncomfortable clothes and into comfy clothes, sleep shorts and a big t-shirt. you flicker the lights back off and flop onto your big bed, letting the comforters consume you.

you sit there for a few minutes until your phone buzzes. it's a text from ellie. she texted you on your ride home so you already saved her contact.

you stupidly smile at your bright phone screen, shaking your head and turning it back off. you plug it in and set it on your bedside table. you lay back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. your hand reaches up and grabs the necklace you were wearing. it was lucy's. you rub the L shaped charm between your pointer and thumb, turning to lay on your side.

that night you dreamt of green eyes and short, auburn hair.

#the last of us #tlou2 #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #tlou #tlou ellie #tlou dina #slvt4elliew

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hisui-dreamer · 1 year

Note

could you possibly do some headcanons of some twst boys of your choice with a skinny reader?? if not its fine lol

his unconditional acceptance

Characters: Deuce, Azul, Epel, Silver

Synopsis: How does your lover treat you if you're insecure about being skinny?

Tags: reader is skinny, fluff, comfort, bot proofread

Word count: 936

Notes: Thanks for asking! I took this as a 'insecure about being skinny' sort of reader bc some of my friends are like that and I have more references hehe. Also gentle reminder that all body types are equally lovable and there's no need to change anything as long as you're comfortable! Variety in people exist and that's what makes people special <3

Part 2 ✧ Masterlist

Deuce finds it a bit confusing that you would be insecure

he thinks you’re absolutely perfect and he’s still surprised you like him!

but without a doubt, he’s very supportive of you

he values hard work and self-improvement, so he understands the struggles of insecurity and would want to help you overcome them in any way he can

he can be a bit blunt at times but it’s always laced with genuine care and concern for your well-being

provides reassurance and encouragement, and incredibly patient in helping you build self-confidence

constantly reminds you that you are valued and loved just the way you are

his lack of tact and slip-ups may sometimes unintentionally hurt your feelings

but he’s super quick to apologize and make amends, please don’t be upset!

invites to go jogging with him so you can exercise some, and automatically matches his pace with yours

gets you water and towels the instant you need it

he tries super hard to support you in whatever way he can

is also super willing to beat anyone up who dares comment on something they shouldn’t have

Deuce’s cheeks are flushed as he tries to meet your gaze. "Remember that you are so much stronger than you think. You have overcome challenges before, and you have the resilience to overcome these insecurities too. I'll be here to cheer you on every step of the way." He smiles genuinely, fiddling with his hair.

Azul loves you for who you are beyond your physical appearance

as someone who has struggled with his own self-esteem and acceptance of his body, he’s more sensitive about body image and is surprisingly empathetic (for a scammy businessman) towards others who also face body-related challenges

he feels a bit self-conscious about his own appearance in comparison to you at first

but he strives to be supportive, understanding, and accepting of your body size

he knows firsthand how hurtful it can be to be judged or bullied for you appearance

he puts his silver tongue to use and showers you with compliments and gifts so often you won’t have time to doubt yourself

hugs you and whispers words of affection in your ears

he won’t stop until you accept them

this man is willing to go to great lengths to please you and make you happy

loves getting you snacks whenever you feel hungry

and indulges you on any food cravings

also sometimes sends the leech twins to check up on you to see if you’ve eaten

"Oh Angelfish," Azul says as he pulls you into a comforting hug."You are deserving of love and acceptance, regardless of your size or appearance. You are so much more than your physical body, and I admire you for who you are on the inside."

Epel empathises with you a lot

he is more understanding and supportive towards your insecurities

he knows firsthand how it feels to be dissatisfied with your own body

makes you so many apple treats so you can munch on them whenever you’re hungry

he tries to boost your confidence by offering words of encouragement and reassurance

he doesn’t like showing you his weak side, but sometimes he shares his own struggles and how he has learned to cope with them

he will rant to you a lot about vil

it’s a team effort of growing to be comfortable in your own skin

you learn together to focus on their strengths and accomplishments

the two of you set realistic goals for self-improvement on daily habits together

it’s a cute relationship where you both learn and grow

listens patiently and offers gentle words of affirmation

loves giving hugs, holding hands, or just gentle physical reassurance

he’s so happy that you can find comfort in him

also tries to eat most of his meals with you so he can make sure you’re eating properly

Epel clutches both of your hands, his eyes firmly on yours. "I know it's hard when ya wanna change things 'bout yourself, but remember, you're my sweetheart, and I love ya just the way ya are. I wouldn't change a thing about ya. You're special and unique, and that's what makes ya truly beautiful in my eyes!" he exclaims.

Silver's super supportive of anything you do

make efforts to reassure you and boost your self-esteem, showing kindness and empathy towards your concerns

always listens to you talk about your worries attentively no matter how trivial it is

offers words of encouragement and tries taking actions to help you

this man tries super hard to fight off his sleep for you

when he does eventually fall asleep, his first thoughts are you and how you’re faring

takes on a role of being a protector and supporter for you, always trying to make you feel safe and secure in their relationship

he is patient and understanding towards your insecurities given his serious and reserved demeanour

patient and understanding, never rushing or pressuring you to change or be someone you’re not

accepts your insecurities and helps working towards building your confidence at your own pace

he’s your knight after all, he would definitely go above and beyond to ensure your well-being, both physically and emotionally

becomes more assertive in addressing any negative influences or situations that could affect your self-esteem

Silver knelt to the ground, placing his lips on your hand. "I am here to support you, my love, through thick and thin. Your size or shape does not matter to me, for it is your heart and soul that have captured mine," he promises as he looks up at you, his eyes full of love.

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

Part 2 ✧ Masterlist

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland deuce #deuce spade #deuce spade x reader #twisted wonderland epel #epel felmier #epel felmier x reader #twisted wonderland azul #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #twisted wonderland silver #silver #silver x reader

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sarnai4 · 28 days

Text

Cake and Eat It

I really like Avatar the Last Airbender. That said, I'm not under the belief that it's perfect and has no hopes of every being improved. So, I wasn't opposed to it getting another live action remake in show form to explore some areas more. Unfortunately, the changes that were made (in my opinion) were often to the detriment of the story. Ultimately, my main issue was that the Netflix show wanted to have its cake and eat it too. On one hand, you need to separate it from the original to accept it. You're not supposed to think, "Azula's fire isn't blue like it's supposed to be. I hate this." It's its own thing and wants to be that; however, it wants you to say, "Oh no, Momo! I don't want you to get hurt because I remember all of the fun moments in the cartoon!" It contradicts itself.

In the Kiyoshi Island episode, we're supposed to laugh at Sokka for getting shown up by Suki. Why? Because he was being sexist? He wasn't really. We're meant to remember what he did in the cartoon and use that to influence us. Before, Sokka basically mocked the warriors and was rightfully shown that he should respect them. Here, he acknowledged both Suki and himself as warriors. At worst, he was pumping himself up for no reason, but he never put them down. Suki showing up the person who clearly isn't as skilled makes her seem a little harsh and then having him slink off with his tail between his legs doesn't make it as impactful like when Sokka in the original went back, apologized sincerely, and asked to be taught.

Later in the same episode, I didn't really buy that Aang gave them hope either. We saw him running with some younger kids once, then spend time with Kyoshi. The cartoon had him spend days basking in all his Avatar glory with his fan base. It makes sense that they'd be happy to have him there because their island was named after one of his past lives. This one doesn't have that happen, yet we're still expected to believe that the kid they didn't want who caused them as much danger as they expected would somehow make them happy and hopeful.

For Omashu, we're supposed to believe that Sokka and Katara have this sibling tension, but they haven't. I remember listening to their argument, wondering what they were talking about. Sokka was saying how Katara is constantly naive, but we didn't see that. We saw them argue in the cartoon because Katara took on the mother role despite being his little sister and Sokka took the protector role despite being a child. It put them at odds at times, but they still loved the heck out of each other. I don't believe it simply because they say to.

We're supposed to feel bad for Aang when Bumi is angry with him since he ran away...but he didn't. This scene was impactful in "The Storm" because Aang knowingly left, scared of the responsibilities. How can I be mad at this child for trying to clear his head and just having bad timing? It makes Bumi look cruel for no reason and doesn't give Aang the appropriate amount of guilt he reasonably would have felt in the cartoon.

So, going forward, I hope that they don't rely so much on the original. There are changes I did like, but when they try to cut out scenes and act like they exist because they did in the cartoon, I feel like that's cheating. Don't ask me to remember character moments from the cartoon in order to feel something here. If they didn't bond here, I won't use their bonds from before to color my perception.

#avatar the last airbender #natla #Sokka #Suki #Aang #Bumi #Katara #Kyoshi Island #Other changes were bad too in my opinion #I'll get to them on a other day

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

Note

AITA for being upset that all my friends constantly play a game together that I can't touch?

Basically, my friends (20s) and I (25nb) have known each other since high school. We used to hang out constantly but with adult life existing we just have less time to kill on silly things. Because of this, we now mostly have voice call hangouts on discord since its not as demanding of time.

Most of the time we would just chill and work on our own things, but a few months back a few of my friends started getting into Genshin Impact and would play it together while on the call. Eventually the rest of my friend group followed and started joining in, which I had no problem with, because it was a "sometimes" thing.

Recently though its been an "always" thing. Whenever we have a call everyone plays Genshin, and naturally a majority of the conversation is about what they're doing in Genshin, to the point where its kinda feeling like I'm interrupting if I talk about anything else.

I don't really have anything against the game, I just can't touch it because I have had previous issues with gambling type stuff and I recognize it's not something I can play. I'm glad I realized this early on when I was young and had limited disposable income + couldn't legally get a credit card, but the amount I spent on mobile games like this is nothing to sneeze at still. Now that I'm an adult with a decent income I try my best to be diligent.

I have been very open with my friends about this fact and they know my issues. I've tried asking them if we can play something different sometimes, because I feel kindof excluded. At best I've gotten back a "yeah sure" with no real follow-up or change, at worst I've gotten a "It's actually really kind to their F2P players and you don't need to spend money on it to progress etc etc etc" which. I've tried explaining that's not how this works and f2p won't stay f2p for me but sometimes it feels like they're just not listening.

Every time I bring up an alternative to try I get back a "Sorry I don't have the money rn" (bc anything without gambling mechanics costs money upfront) which I understand! But if I offer to buy a game for everyone when it's on sale or something they refuse because they feel weird accepting gifts.

I kinda got to the end of my rope with it because I don't think they were getting how isolating it was to be the only one not playing when we were hanging out. I kinda blew up after they gave me the same "nono don't buy me anything" on a game that was literally $3, and asked if actually gave a shit about including me in things anymore, which obviously they got super defensive about.

I feel bad about it because it was unfair even though we've barely talked about anything other than Genshin lately, and I tried to apologize but they basically froze me out. I snapped a little again after one of them told me I was being too sensitive about it and making my problem everyone's issue when they were just having a good time, and I haven't tried to talk to them for a few days now.

Obviously I don't want to lose my friend group over a stupid anime game, and I'm probably going to try to fix it. But I just want to know if I'm actually being too sensitive about this (I am pretty upset at being excluded bc of my issues, intentionally or not, and idk if that's affecting my judgement), or if theyre being too flippant about the problem.

AITA here??

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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kangnina · 2 months

Text

elixir (Healer!Felix)

***This is my fic that was previously posted on my old account thatonenoona

Chapter 1: Birthday

Yet another sleepless night. The beeping and humming of medical equipment surrounds you. Even with the door to your hospital room closed, you can still hear the voices and footsteps roaming up and down the hall. The constant poking and prodding. One test after another. After another. Only more questions, rarely good answers. You are just tired. So tired of all of it. Tired of living– if you can even call it that. Every year, since you can remember, it’s been the same thing. Holidays and birthdays spent in the hospital with doctors and nurses instead of at home with family and friends. You are absolutely certain that you are the reason your parents got divorced. You were 10 and it was the third time you almost died. Despite being deathly ill, you could feel the tension between them as they sat on either side of your hospital bed– unable to even look at each other. Although she’d never say it to your face, your mom had already given up back then. She slowly started to slip away until she was gone completely. Eventually you realized that for her, constantly seeing you like this was its own kind of suffering. Your father, on the other hand, did everything he could to make you feel loved. So you kept fighting to live because of him. For him. Just before you finished college last spring, he died of a heart attack. Your mom showed up weeks after the funeral. She promised you she would make up for being gone all those years.

You look over at the only chair in the room, occupied by a teddy bear the size of a toddler holding the colorful ribbons of a ‘Get Well Soon’ balloon entangled with a ‘Happy Birthday’ balloon. It arrived yesterday while you were getting scans. She didn’t send a card. But this “gift” had her written all over it. Today is your birthday and she is not here. She has not even called. As always, her absence speaks for itself. You debate whether or not to leave the hospital. Just yank out all of the cords and tubes keeping you tethered to this miserable existence, get up and GO. Walk right out of the hospital– straight to the nearest bridge and jump. You hear the door click open but you don’t bother looking to see who it is. You already know it’s just another nurse and there’s more poking and prodding in store for you.

“Oh no, I am so sorry,” a deep, accented voice says. You look over to see a blonde man in a white hoodie and jeans, holding a large container. He bows and repeats his apology. “I thought this was someone else’s room. So sorry to bother you.”

“It’s fine,” you say, sitting up and slowly looking him over. He is handsome. Very handsome. You can’t place his accent but it’s intriguing. He laughs nervously under your scrutinizing gaze. As he shifts his eyes away from you, he spots the bear with its balloons.

“Oh. Happy Birthday! I’m so sorry you have to be here for it,” he says, smiling softly. You shrug. He shifts nervously. “My name is Felix… Would you like a brownie? I made them this morning. It’s no birthday cake but I’m willing to bet it’s way better than that.” he says, pointing at the uneaten dinner on the cart next to your bed.

You nod and he walks towards you, opening the container. You can’t help but admire his freckles as he stands next to your hospital bed. “Please take more than one.” He smiles again, offering the container up to you. You instantly feel it. A tiny zap of static electricity. You probably would have missed it if you hadn’t been sitting completely still at that moment. But it makes your heart flutter.

“Thank you.” You take a brownie in each hand which makes you feel a little foolish. But he insisted. You pause for a moment before realizing that he is waiting for you to take a bite. Felix’s eager gaze suddenly makes you feel nervous. Putting one of the brownies to your mouth, you give it a little nibble. It’s absolutely delicious. You haven’t had an appetite for a couple days and now you suddenly realize how hungry you really are. Giving a soft hum, you take another bite. Zap. There it is again. That feeling. You can’t help but smile.

“Oh my god! You made these? For real?! So good!” you exclaim, still chewing. Felix nods, smiling proudly. Before he can say anything, his phone is ringing in his hoodie pocket. He gives a look as if he just remembered something important and snaps the lid back on the container.

“I’m sorry! I have to go. Get well! Happy Birthday and enjoy your brownies!” He says smiling, moving towards the door. And just like that, Felix is gone. Finishing off your brownies, you wonder who he was here to see and if he would be coming back soon. A nurse enters your room holding a syringe and you are catapulted back to your own reasons for being here. But you're no longer feeling tired. You don’t even want to leave the hospital and find the nearest bridge anymore. You must find out more about Felix.

Chapter 2: Magnolia

It’s been weeks since your encounter with the beautiful man. But you’d never forget those delicious brownies. You were definitely not going to forget his even more delicious voice. Felix had been on your mind every single day since he accidentally walked into your hospital room. Much like your health situation, you were left with more questions than answers about his identity. None of the doctors or nurses knew anything about Felix. At one point, you wondered if he was even real. Maybe you’d finally lost it and created an imaginary friend to soothe your lonely, aching soul. But the last thing you needed was to be diagnosed with hallucinations or delusions. So you decided to stop asking the staff about him and go back to focusing on yourself. Still not a lot of answers as to why you ended up hospitalized for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Yet, the test results and scans were all trending in a positive direction. The doctors seemed hopeful as the need for intensive medical attention dramatically decreased. Yesterday, you found yourself recuperating at home, with instructions to take a handful of pills at morning, noon and night. You never knew living could be so simple.

The warm sunlight kisses your face as it peeks through the blinds of your bedroom window. You sit up and stretch your arms above your head. As you realize what you are doing, you grin like a fool. I can stretch without feeling like I’m literally coming apart at the seams! You look over at the nightstand where your phone is silently charging on its dock. Reaching over, you tap the screen. 9:47AM. Ahhhh! I’m late for my appointment! You bolt out of bed towards the bathroom.

You pull your car into the back parking lot of the hospital. Hopping out, you hurriedly lock it as you speed walk to the doors. Much too busy fumbling around with your bag, you bump into someone.

“Watch out!” a little old lady scolds you.

“Sorry! Sorry!” You hold the door open for her to slowly shuffle her way outside. You walk over to the receptionist’s desk and give your name to check in. Suddenly, you hear it. Totally unmistakable. It’s the voice that’s been playing on repeat in your mind for weeks.

“Let’s have tea on Tuesday, Mags. No more pranks on Dr. Hyunjin, yeah? Be a good princess and I will bring peanut butter brownies. Pinky promise.” Your eyes meet the back of a blonde man, wearing a black suit and tie. You can’t help but notice that he is impeccably dressed to be standing in a hospital. His bangs are swept up and back, revealing a bold undercut. Your breath catches. Felix. He is accompanying a young doctor as the doctor pushes a little girl in a wheelchair through double doors labeled ‘Pediatrics.’ As the doors gently swing close, just beyond them– you can see Felix smile as she reaches her little hand up to wrap her pinky around his ringed pinky. Your heart melts and you feel the tiny zap again. Just like the one you felt while sitting in your hospital bed on your birthday when Felix presented you with his brownies. Is it that smile? you ask yourself as you’re subconsciously pulled towards him. Your hand reaches out for the double doors. He’s just on the other side. A nurse comes through a door on the opposite side of the waiting room and calls out your name.

“Yes?” You look toward her, making your presence known. She gestures for you to follow her back the way she came. Hesitantly, you do. You glance back over your shoulder, hoping Felix will come through ‘Pediatrics’ doors. But he does not. Tuesday. It’s only Friday.

-------------------------

All weekend, you went over the scenario in your head. At least two dozen times. You look around the hospital parking lot one more time before closing your eyes. It’s NOT weird to be sitting in my car waiting for Felix to show up. Maybe Felix will be delighted to see that I am out of the hospital and doing well. Or maybe he will be completely creeped out by the fact that I am now stalking him. Well, he doesn’t need to know that I’m not here for medical reasons. Although you’ve only met him one time. EVER. You ultimately determined that he seemed like the type of person to be cordial about “running” into you again at the hospital. If he even remembers me.

Consumed by your thoughts, you didn’t even notice Felix walking up to the hospital entrance with a large container in his hands. Just before you turn the key in the ignition to chicken out– you see his back as he walks into the hospital. Once again, he’s stylishly dressed. You have to catch up to him before you lose him yet again. Jogging into the entrance, you catch him just within the pediatric ward double doors.

“Hello!” you say much louder than intended. Felix turns around to see you. There is slight confusion on his face as he tries to figure out if you are talking to him or someone else in the busy hallway. As you step closer to him, he tilts his head as he looks over your face. Then suddenly he smiles and you swear his freckles dance a little. “Birthday brownies. You look great!”

“Ah, yeah. I never told you my name.” You extend your hand to shake his as you properly introduce yourself. “Thank you for the brownies. They were like yummy magic.” You instantly cringe at your own unsolicited comment. Felix’s eyes light up as he laughs.

“That may be the best compliment I've ever gotten about them. I would offer you a peanut butter brownie but she will not be a happy princess if one of them is missing,” he says as he taps the lid of the container in his hand.

“Mags.” You say. Felix tilts his head again, giving you a quizzical look. You realize that you’ve just given yourself away. Might as well be honest with him. Somewhat. “I was here for an appointment last week. I happened to see you with her.” He nods.

“Would you like to join us for tea?” He doesn’t actually give you the opportunity to answer before he continues walking. But you follow anyway. Within a few yards, you are both standing in front of a door with a big pink, glittery sign that reads ‘Princess Magnolia.’

“Just give me a moment with her first. Living in a hospital at 7 years old makes her a little wary of new people who aren’t doctors or nurses.” You have no idea how much I can relate to that, you think as you watch Felix slip into the room, closing the door behind him.

Five minutes pass. Then ten minutes pass. You gently knock on the door before slowly pushing it open to find Felix and Dr. Hyunjin sporting tiaras as they sit on either side of the little girl’s bed. She is donning her own tiara as well as a glittery pink dress. A cute little pink and white tea party set sits on top of a large tray at the end of her bed. She looks much more vibrant than she did when you saw her a few days before. Felix introduces you to Dr. Hyunjin and Magnolia. Dr. Hyunjin smiles and gives a polite, tiny bow from his seat but Magnolia just stares at you. You stay rooted in front of the door, unsure of your place in this situation.

“Mags, pretty please be a kind princess to our new guest.” Felix says to her as he pours some tea into a teacup for her. Magnolia’s eyes never leave yours as she lifts the tea cup to her lips and takes a sip. Then after what feels like an eternity, she speaks.

“Why? You don't have a tiara.” She takes another sip of her tea.

You can’t blame Magnolia. You crashed her tea party with the charming and handsome Prince Felix. If the glass slipper was on the other foot, you would be feeling the exact same way. But you also had to admit it’s nice to see that the little girl is much more spunky than the last time you happened to see her.

“You can borrow mine.” Dr. Hyunjin stands up and hands you his tiara. He looks back at Magnolia. “Princess, the tea was lovely. Thank you. I’ll be back in a little while,” he smiles before nodding at Felix. He nods at you as well, before leaving the room.

Placing the tiara on your head, you take a seat in the empty chair next to Magnolia. She looks at Felix and he hands her a brownie before tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. She smiles deeply at him as she seems to relax a bit. But you are still tense. You aren’t sure what to say to the little girl. You have no experience in dealing with children and you certainly had not fathomed having a princess tea party with Felix as a potential scenario. He picks up the little teapot and pours a cup of tea. He can tell you are apprehensive. He gives you a little wink as he hands the teacup to you. His fingers graze yours and you feel it. The Zap. But this time it’s much, much stronger. Your heart and your stomach both flip like olympic gymnasts. Your breath catches. Suddenly, Felix stands up. He backs away a little from Magnolia’s bedside as he begins to sing in a high-pitched, cartoonish voice. Felix puffs his cheeks, wiggles his body and makes various heart shapes at Magnolia as he belts out the song. All you can do is watch, mouth agape. Magnolia, on the other hand, is having the time of her life. She claps and sings along. Finally, the song ends and Felix bows deeply. During her applause, he begins to “weep” like a beauty queen accepting a Tn award. This sends Magnolia into a fit of giggles. Finally, he takes his seat. Just as her giggles begin to subside, he grabs his cheeks and makes cute faces. She starts laughing all over again. You are also grinning like a fool at Felix’s antics. It is the most wholesome thing you’ve witnessed since– well, you can’t even remember. You wish you could live in this moment, with this feeling forever. You wish you could bottle up Felix like a magic elixir. Just one drop and you would never be sad or lonely or sick ever again.

Chapter 3: Dr. Hyunjin

It has been two weeks since you spent the afternoon with Magnolia and Felix. But ever since that day, you noticed that you generally felt good. At your recent weekly follow up appointment, they insisted that you did not need to come back unless you began experiencing any concerning health issues. As far as the doctors could tell, you were progressing at an inexplicably rapid pace. Your acne vanished. Even your scars from prior surgeries seemed to be slowly fading away. Everyone inquired as to how you are able to heal in ways that had yet to be scientifically explained. But you insisted, if the doctors couldn’t possibly figure it out– how could you? So instead, you just decided to embrace it. Embrace the good. Embrace the healing… and then probably get hit by a bus. Ok so maybe your dark humor still hasn't quite healed yet.

When you woke up this morning, you actually felt great. Not one ache or pain. Feeling healthy was a strangely intoxicating feeling. You felt like you could run a marathon or hike up a mountain. As you walked around your apartment, your senses were heightened. When you opened your blinds, the sun seemed brighter. Opening your window, you could hear the birds chirping so clearly through the warm spring morning air. It was as if they were letting you in on their secrets. You smiled and breathed deeply. Not even a sniffle from allergies. Pancakes and bacon. The smell is wafting into your window from the little diner across the street. I’m starving and I know exactly what I want.

-----------------------------------

As you take a seat at the bar of the little diner, you happen to notice a familiar face out of the corner of your eye. You look over to see Dr. Hyunjin handing cash to a waitress. He awkwardly tries to balance his bag of food and his drink before heading toward the door. It suddenly occurs to you that he may actually be someone who knows more about Felix. Your hunger will just have to wait a bit longer. You catch up to him and hold the door open.

“Thanks!” he says, trying not to spill his drink.

“Dr. Hyunjin. Do you have a minute to talk?” He looks up from his drink. It takes a moment for him to register who you are. Then he smiles.

“You’re Felix’s new friend, right? From Magnolia’s tea party? Very exclusive club indeed,” he jokes. You smile, waiting for him to answer your question. “Oh yes, of course. I have a moment.” He places his food on the nearest patio table. He pulls out a chair for you to take a seat. You sit down and then he sits across you and begins to carefully unwrap his bagel. A waitress approaches your table.

“Is something wrong with your order, Dr. Hyunjin?” she asks.

“Oh no. I just decided to stay. Thank you,” He smiles. The waitress nods. She asks for your order and takes down your request before walking away. “So how can I help you?” He takes a bite of his bagel. You decide to dive right in as well.

“How long have you known Felix?” you ask.

“Hmm, since middle school. One summer day, he showed up at the neighborhood pool. As soon as he opened his mouth, the kids were ruthless about his accent. None of us had ever met an Australian before. Felix was unwilling to raise a hand or even his voice to defend himself. So I ended up getting into a scuffle over a shy, freckled kid I literally just met.”

“So you’re good friends?” you pressed.

“Absolutely. He is unquestionably the sweetest human being I have ever met… and I work with children.” he chuckled, taking another bite of his bagel. You can’t help but smile at that compliment. Each time you had ever seen Felix, he was very kind– no matter who he was talking to. “He told me he met you at the hospital,”Dr. Hyunjin continued.

“Wait. He talked to you about me?” You are a bit surprised by this information.

“Not really. When he tried to convince Magnolia to let you have tea with them– that’s how he said he met you.” He takes another bite. “I am surprised that you didn’t ask me about Felix sooner.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, eyeing him suspiciously.

Dr. Hyunjin quickly finishes his bagel. Then he leans in. “I have a question for you as well. Have you happened to notice that you are healing in ways that are… that may seem… impossible or unexplainable?” he says, lowering his voice at the end of the question. “Every scar just disappears. It’s like you were never EVER sick or injured at all. Isn’t it?”

There is no breeze. But you feel a chill run down your spine. You stare at him as he leans back and takes a sip of his drink. He smiles because he already knows the answer to his question. He picks up his bagel wrapper and he stands up to leave, just as your food arrives.

“I’ve got to get to the hospital but I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around.” Dr. Hyunjin nods, smiling politely and then walks away, leaving you with much to think about. Always more questions than answers.

------------------------

Buttoning up your pajamas, you walk over to your phone, charging on your nightstand. One text message that reads: ‘I think Mags like you. You are cordially invited to her Going Away Tea Party next Tuesday. Tiaras are mandatory.’

You smile as you are sincerely delighted that Felix’s little friend wants you to be hers as well. You read the text again. Going Away? Like leaving? Or…. You type back: ‘I would be honored to attend. Where is Princess Mags going?’

‘Home. She is in remission.’ You instantly playback the conversation with Dr. Hyunjin in your head. The pieces slowly start coming together. Felix. Healing. Felix. Magnolia. Remission. Felix.

You shoot off another text: ‘That is AMAZING! Would you like to join me for lunch tomorrow? Tiaras are optional.’

------------------------------------

“Actually, I met Mags after I met you.” Felix says, taking a sip of his soda. “Hyunjin insisted that if I could cheer her up– it would help with her, uh, homesickness.”

“So you’ve only known her for a few weeks? And now she’s in remission? That’s a miracle, right?” you ask, nibbling on a fry. His eyes shift a little. He runs a hand through his blond hair.

“Mmm, I suppose it’s just modern medicine, you know.” He scrunches his nose and smiles nervously.

“I was very ill when you met me too,” you say quietly, watching him. “But then, I suddenly got better. Would you believe that twenty years of surgery scars just vanished? I have only known you for about … fifty-one days.”

“...that seems incredibly precise. I’m sorry if I was supposed to remember– like an anniversary or something–” Felix says flustered. His ears turn a little red.

“Dr. Hyunjin was right about you,” you giggle.

“What did Hwang Hyunjin say about me?” With that question, Felix’s deep voice drops even deeper as he stares into your eyes for the first time in a while. You feel the shift in his energy. He suddenly seems so serious. Maybe even a little scared. Your heart begins to race. Oh no, I’ve said too much. I’m going to get Hyunjin in trouble because of my big mouth! It’s as if Felix can hear your thoughts because his face softens. He reaches his hand out across the table. You place your hand in his and it instantly tingles. Like tiny little bolts of electricity dancing between your palms. Felix sighs deeply. “Whatever Hyunjin said… It’s true.”

Chapter 4: Invincible

Felix was willing to answer your questions. But you decided against it for fear of pushing him away. You didn’t want him to think that you were using him. So you simply said that you had been asking questions all your life and now the healing could literally begin. You told him you just wanted to focus on being happy for once. Which is absolutely true. He seemed to understand and accept your position. You continued to exchange texts with him over the next few days but you thought it might be best to give him– and yourself– some space to process this.

On the day of Magnolia’s party, you’re surprised to receive a text from an unknown number. ‘Hello! It’s Hyunjin. I begged Felix for your number. I hope you don’t mind. I have a HUGE favor to ask. Could you help me prepare for the party? Spur of the moment surprise for Magnolia. I decided to turn my house and yard into a wonderland.’ He sends you a picture of an inflatable castle surrounded by little inflatable unicorns.

You text back: ‘OMG! That is amazing. Yes, I would love to help.’ Hyunjin texts you his address and explains that Felix will be over a bit later to help as well. Although you’ve texted with Felix a few times, you haven’t actually seen him since your lunch together. This makes you nervous for some reason. But you shake it off as you head to Hyunjin’s house.

---------------------

Hyunjin was not kidding. Giant pinwheels line the driveway. As you pulled up, you could see the castle peeking out from the back yard. Somewhere, there’s an overworked bubble machine because there are thousands of them floating absolutely everywhere around you. Rainbow streamers decorate the entrance of his house. Hyunjin opens the door and beckons you inside.

“You are an absolute lifesaver! As you can see… I got a tadbit overzealous,” he laughs as he holds his hands up. “Would you like anything to drink?” You shake your head. “Well, the kitchen is back that way. If you get thirsty or hungry, please help yourself.” He continues, “The bathroom is down the hall, second door on the left. I’m going to go out back to hang lanterns and butterflies. Here are some more streamers and butterflies that need to be hung inside.”

You get right to work hanging decorations. After a while, you stop to take a bathroom break. As you walk down the hall, you look at the pictures lining either side. Teenage Hyunjin. Graduate Hyunjin. Wait a second. Graduate Felix? It’s not that you’re surprised by the accomplishment. It’s just a surprise to you because it never came up in conversation. You look closer at the photo of Hyjunjin and a dark-haired Felix, arm in arm, smiling brightly as they hold up their degrees. Bachelor of Science? Wow. You look over at another picture of Hyunjin, blond Felix and a female. They are all on motorcycles, giving their best “tough” face. It’s actually pretty comical. Trying to imagine Felix being a tough biker with his cute freckles and soft persona makes you laugh. Next to this picture is a memorial plaque with a picture of the same female, sitting on a motorcycle: ‘Hwang City Rollers Dedicate this Highway In Honor of Lillian Hwang.’

It occurs to you that you drove along the Lillian Hwang Highway to come here. She’s so young. She must be related to Hyunjin.

“She’s my sister.” You turn to see Hyunjin walking up to you. Before you can say anything. He keeps going, “She and Felix were in a horrific accident. I had always suspected he was… unique. They both should have died. But Lillian dying and him surviving without a single scratch confirmed it for me.” His voice cracks. “Felix tried to save her. He wanted to save her so badly but he couldn’t.”

Your heart feels heavy. “I’m so sorry,” is all you can manage to say.

“Are you afraid of Felix?” he asks, catching you completely off guard.

“What? No. How could I be?”

“He says you’ve been avoiding him.” Hyunjin crosses his arms. You find his accusatory tone a bit offensive.

“I– I am NOT avoiding him. I just don’t want him to think that I am taking advantage of the situation.”

“I can assure you that is not what he thinks of you. But I am very glad to hear you say that. Come with me, I want to show you something.” Hyunjin walks a little further down the hall before opening a door. “This is my office.” He motions for you to follow him inside. He walks over to a closet, steps onto a stool and pulls down a shoe box. Hyunjin sits down at his desk and he gestures for you to take a look inside the box. You open the box as you take a seat in front of his desk. It is filled with newspaper clippings and pictures of Felix at different ages.

You look up at Hyunjin, confused. “What is all this?” You shuffle through the clippings and pick out one with a glossy photo of Felix with dark hair, wearing a labcoat. The headline reads ‘Prodigy Microbiologist Promises to Eradicate Childhood Illnesses.’ Another clipping: ‘Witch Doctor Under Investigation.’ Yet another reads ‘BigPharma Sues Aussie Spy.’

It is obvious that Felix has been through the ringer.

“Those are just the sensationalized headlines. It went much deeper than that. People were stalking him, threatening him. It was so horrible. I thought he would be killed or kidnapped for experiments. I suggested that he go home to Australia and lay low for a while. But he was determined to stay and ride it out.”

You are speechless. Stunned. How could anyone want to hurt Felix? He is literally an angel.

“I think you’d agree that for Felix’s safety, it’s best if no one knows anything about this. I know he is not happy about hiding who he is. But I also know it’s only a matter of time before someone takes advantage of him. We must protect him.”

“We?” You raise an eyebrow, genuinely curious as to how you could possibly protect a man that you’ve just found out is indestructible. Invincible. Maybe even immortal.

“We?” repeats an unmistakable bass voice. You and Hyunjin both look over to see Felix standing at the door to Hyunjin’s office.

-------------------------------------

Chapter 5

Magnolia’s party was undoubtedly the most fun you had in a long time. It went over even better than you had expected, considering the hours of awkward tension leading up to it. Felix reminded Hyunjin that day was supposed to be about Magnolia– not about Felix. You all agreed to save the discussion for another time. Well, at least they agreed to it. You really didn’t want to be in the middle of what seemed to be an ongoing disagreement between best friends. Of course, you would care if anything happened to Felix. But you also believe that it’s his life to live– whatever that means for him.

When Magnolia arrived, “Prince Felix” and “Prince Dr. Hyunjin,” as Magnolia referred to them– doted on her just as they did in the hospital for all of those weeks. You don’t think she ever stopped smiling until it was finally time for the party to end. With Magnolia’s health progressing so rapidly, Hyunjin and Felix knew it was time to let her get back to her normal life as a kid. It was hard to watch them say their goodbyes. You thought of your parents and how they each had their own ways of coping with your chronic illnesses through the years. You thought of how much you missed your dad. If mom cared even just a little, she would know I’m doing better. The best I’ve ever been. All thanks to Felix. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

------------------------------

You hear your phone ringing. Sleepily, you reach over to your nightstand, it’s not there. Ugh. You drag yourself out of bed, trying to find the source of your irritation. You walk into the bathroom, finding it on the counter. It stops ringing, just as you stumble over your discarded jeans. Missed call from Felix. Then a text ‘Good morning. Are you free to meet me for coffee? My treat.’

‘Sure. Name the place and I’ll be there.’ you text back. Felix texts you the name of a place you’ve never heard of but he insists that you’ll like it. You believe him because you know that even if you don’t like the coffee, you’ll still enjoy the man you’re having terrible coffee with.

--------------------------

As you walk in, you look for Felix. He is wearing a black shirt with a leather jacket. His blond hair is slicked back, revealing his undercut. You’re instantly reminded of the picture of him on a motorcycle. Your face suddenly feels hot as he waves you over to a couple of dark, cushioned chairs and a table nestled up to a window in the corner. It’s further away from the rest of the patrons and there is an unobstructed view of the street. Making your way over to him, he turns to retrieve something tucked under the table between the two chairs. When you reach the table, he hands you a bouquet of sunflowers. You’re surprised but you graciously accept them. Felix smiles, his freckles on full display and you feel the tiny zap as you take your seat across from him. A waitress comes over to take your orders and then leaves. Felix shifts in his chair and his smile fades a little as he clears his throat. He looks directly into your eyes.

“I owe you an apology. I didn’t intend for you to get involved in this… I know Hyunjin means well and I trust him with my life. It’s just that sometimes he and I are not on the same page about… me. As I’ve said before, whatever he tells you is true. But if you have questions about me, you can always ask me. I would never lie to you. I also completely understand if you want to get up right now and walk away. Forever.” Felix speaks firmly but his hands fidget with a napkin, making it obvious that he is nervous as he tries to read your face for any clues.

You were not prepared for his speech so you aren’t sure what to say. Instead, you reach one hand across the table for his hands. When he places his hand in yours, you feel the nerves in your palms dancing ever so slightly. Tingling. You reach out your other hand and he takes it. The feeling intensifies just a little and for some reason, you close your eyes.

“You can feel it, can’t you?” Felix whispers and you swear it’s the only sound you can hear in the entire coffee shop. You nod without opening your eyes. He sighs deeply.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asks. You open your eyes and slightly tighten your grip on his hands.

“No. I’m not afraid of you. You saved me… I was so tired. I wanted to die… and then you came to me. You healed me. Every part of me. I have just begun to love myself enough to keep living. Just being around you makes me happy. I can’t pretend that you don’t exist. It would feel like I’m dying all over again. The words just pour out of you but you mean it. All of it. Felix looks at you affectionately and your face begins to feel hot again. He smiles as he rubs your knuckles. The tingling sensation starts slowly moving up to your wrists. He leans forward, eyeing your lips. You instinctively lean in as well.

“I want to keep being the man who makes you happy. Would you like that, yeah?” he says as he kisses you softly. Only for a moment but it’s enough to make your heart soar.

“Yes, I would,” you reply sweetly. Felix is grinning from ear to ear and you want to kiss each of his freckles. The waitress approaches with your food and drinks. And you wonder if she saw your little show. Felix is unable to look at her, so he’s probably wondering the same. You both giggle as she walks away. There is a beat of comfortable silence as you nibble on your scone and he eats his muffin.

“You want to know something? I mean, it’s soooo obvious now that I think about it.” Felix laughs to himself.

“Hmm. What’s so funny?”

“The day we met, I was on my way to meet Hyunjin for lunch. But he texted, saying he got caught up with an emergency. He also said there was a little old lady who never has any visitors and she would love my company. So he sent me your room number. Well, I didn’t know it was your room. I thought it was someone else’s room. When I asked him about it later, he just smiled and changed the subject. I don’t think there was ever really a lonely old lady. ” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“So our lovely Dr. Hwang Hyunjin is chaotic good, then?”

Felix nods. “Buckle up.”

29 notes · View notes

renaiswriting · 7 months

Text

Velvet embrace (part 4)

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo/Reader

Summary:

Shadow people were always there in your life. They never disturbed you; they never interacted with you; it was like there was a pact between both of you to simply ignore each other. They saw you grow from a baby to an adult.

So why are you now getting attached to one of them who keeps looking out for you?

Warnings: none, I think.

Word count: +5.2k

If you want to be tagged, please fill out the tag list form.

@sahhmochi @darkdayelixer @ryusha-rose

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The silent watchers masterlist

Masterlist

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You have yet to meet someone who has gone through something similar to you, and the exhaustion from your useless internet search and the books that you were spending hours (that you most definitely did not have) reading was only making you more and more scared of what was yet to come.

There was lots of information about shadow people, yes, but most of it came from old tales and fantasy books that gave you no answer to what to do or why they were in your life when you had little to no interest in them.

If anything, they only made your bills go higher than what you could afford.

There was no clue as to why they were suddenly interacting with you when, all your life, they have been just fine being in their space and letting you be on your own.

You were actually terrified of you going nuts, and now your own mind was not as reliable as you had trusted.

What if something so horrible had happened and your mind was trying its best to make you think there was one of them that was nothing but nice to you?

You tried to avoid thinking about the worst-case scenario, but your mind was nothing but a whole compilation of them.

There was one tab that was open, and it was catching your attention more than you wanted to admit, but a good exorcism was maybe the answer to your questions.

Based on what you have seen in horror movies whose names you couldn't recall right there since there were way too many to remind them all, those things were constantly around and only started gaining more strength as you noticed them more.

And the thing was, no matter how much you were telling yourself that those things were not real or did not exist, you were constantly thinking about them.

Wonwoo.

You remembered his name a little bit too much for your liking.

He had been making his presence impossible to ignore, constantly leaving stuff behind for you on the other side of your door and some messages here and there, most of them written on your mirrors or windows, but you still remembered clearly the note he had left on the fridge wishing you a good start of the day and apologizing for the mess in the kitchen. The last part had been made almost impossible to read by covering it with what stinks like dry tomato sauce.

What was his deal? You wondered, eyeing the little cactus he had given you a couple of days ago.

You were never sure whether it was a good idea to accept his gifs or not, but you were a little bit too scared that he would turn like one of your (unwanted) roommates and start slamming doors as well as breaking the sole of your stuff.

So you always keep them safe in your bedroom, the only space where you truly feel safe.

Fortunately, he never made an appearance, so at least you were free to have nightmares with him as the mail character.

And speaking of nightmares, you were having so many recently that the dark circles under your eyes seemed to be permanently tattooed, and your own family was starting to feel concerned over your well-being.

So big were their concerns that they had actually accepted coming over for dinner, and you were, for the first time in a long time, praying that they would accept to stay the night.

You were weighting your options because none of them seemed a hundred percent harmless.

The first option would be to ask, or rather hint, at your parents to get them to stay the night at your place, but you will still have to find a way to avoid having to explain why the lights should stay on all night and what the strange noises would be at night if the lights were off.

The second option was to spend the night at their place, an option that you would have normally accepted, but you had classes that you could not skip the next morning, and their home was way farther away for you to simply spend a peaceful night there.

You eyed the plant that was on your bed table; you didn't even dare to voice the third option.

The third option was the one you were most afraid of.

And you would wish to come up with a million other excuses before choosing that one.

After one last glance at the web page, you closed your computer, throwing it as far away from you (within the space of the bed) as possible.

You lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling of your room. There was a large damp patch that had been forming over the past few days, but you simply hadn't had the time or energy to fix it.

You knew it was coming from the bathroom, which was officially off limits to you, but you were afraid that if it kept growing, one of those nights you'd end up under a bathtub.

You sighed, and your fingers moved to your eyelids, massaging them. They felt tired and burned with every massage you gave them, no matter how gentle. You had been getting too little sleep and spending too much time in front of your computer screen for your own good.

You gave yourself a few moments to mentally prepare for whatever you might find on the other side of the door.

What you feared most was the living room, because the night before you heard that, a couple of things had fallen.

The only thing you were hoping for was that some of the pictures that your grandmother had painted and hung on her own when your grandfather was still alive had not fallen.

You opened the door with white knuckles, holding on to the door handle as if from the door you were absorbing the strength and courage needed to take a step forward.

The door to the bathroom was wide open, and while you remembered closing it, it didn't catch your attention.

What struck you as odd was that all the other doors seemed to be untouchable, exactly as you had last seen them before you closed the door to your room for the remainder of the evening.

This time there was no sort of present waiting for you in the hallway, and you didn't know exactly if this made you feel calmer or if it just added to the feeling of alertness you were constantly experiencing lately.

You walked to the bathroom expecting a message on the mirror, as you had usually received them, but there was nothing.

The expressionless face reflected back at you, staring into your own eyes.

You decided to just push that awkward feeling deep inside yourself, using the time to take a quick shower and start your day.

If your parents were coming that exact night, you had so much to prepare and clean that you genuinely didn't have the time to care right there.

But when you finished descending the stairs, you found yourself in front of a completely clean living room.

The television was off, with the remote control sitting in the center of the coffee table in front of the sofa.

It had all the pillows arranged the way you used to leave them, and the curtains were already open, arranged in two different bows to let in all the sunlight.

Did you sleepwalk down to the living room? You wondered, and your eyes and hands quickly traveled to each end of your body, making sure you weren't hurt in any way.

Maybe your famous TV-loving roommate had decided to take a little break that night, you thought with a shrug.

You made your way to the kitchen, expecting to see dishes ready to be washed, but the dishes were already dry and put away.

On the table, there was a crystal glass you hadn't seen in a long time, with some water in the bottom of the glass, and three moonflowers (already dried and unfortunately dead) decorated the dark wood of the table.

These had surely been the beauty of the night, but unfortunately, once they bloomed, they died the next day. You wondered where they could have come from because you didn't remember seeing them around the house.

There was already some coffee prepared, which was fortunately still warm enough to drink at that moment, and a bowl of your favorite cereal with the spoon you always ended up using because you could take a large amount of the cereal with it next to the bowl.

You weren't going to lie; it was nice to wake up and find everything ready and breakfast waiting to be devoured, but a part of your brain, the rational part that told you since you were little that it was never a good idea to accept candy from a stranger, was insisting on making you some toast instead.

You guess it was now or never, so while you were waiting for your two toasts to be ready, you decided to give your parents a quick call using the phone on the wall. You paced nervously in the limited space you could move with the phone on hand as you mentally counted the seconds before someone over your parents' house picked up the phone. After some rings, your mother was greeting you happily.

"(Y/n), darling! It's been so long, how are you today?"

Your mom's voice had an automatically calming effect on your tense shoulders; you quickly felt like crying without even knowing it, and your breath suddenly became shaky.

"Hi, mom!" There was such a big smile on your face. You let your elbows dug into the table, stealing one of the cereal pieces and biting it.

"Is everything alright, sweetie?" Your mom asked, and just by the way her voice sounded worried, you could picture her with a frown on her forehead.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, everything's fine." You quickly reassured her, cleaning your throat to take all the shakiness away. Your finger was playing with the phone cord, twisting it. "It's just that it's been a while since the last time you both came to the old grandma's house, and I was just thinking... it would be nice if you and dad came over tonight; I promise I'll not burn the food, and I'll make sure to make something other than instant noodles, I promise it." You joked.

"So you'll make us coffee for dinner?" your mother laughed from the other end of the line.

"I mean, if you guys want to." You laughed. This was what you missed about your other life—having another human person in the same space as you to sootle down some of the chaos of the shadows.

"We will bring some lasagna leftovers from today's lunch. Your father's cooking it right now; wanna say hi?" Your mother asked your father, and you could hear him speaking but couldn't really understand what he was saying.

"Hi (y/n)!" Your father shouted, and your ear almost went numb from the strenuous noise. "What are you doing?"

"Not much. I was going to clean my house, but it seems like it's already pretty clean." You mentioned moving the phone away from your ear to avoid it hurting later.

"We'll be there at seven; do we need to bring something else?" Your mom took over the call again. You wanted to ask for your favorite dessert that she knew exactly how to make, but you decided it would have been rude to ask her to do it.

"Nah, it's okay; just come over tonight." You smiled at her.

The conversation continued for some more time until your mom excused herself because some guests had arrived at their house.

You took a sip of your now-cold coffee and the toast you had made with some butter and jam. Your stomach felt full, but you still eyed the cereal. You have taken some pieces of it, and it did taste as normal as always.

You decided that, before throwing it in the trash and wasting it, you would save it for later in case you got hungrier and didn't feel like cooking anything.

°•°

"This is lovely," your mother mentioned, putting her purse on the table. Her fingers were carefully touching the moonflowers; the white flowers were almost as big as the palm of her hand. "Where did you get them from? I didn't see any of these in the garden."

"One of my friends gave it to me." You replied, anxiously looking over the living room, which was starting to be a little too dark for your liking. You moved to the windows, moving the curtains to let the last glimpse of natural light come through the window, and before it was too late, you turned the lights on.

"The bill is going to be impossible to pay; just turn them off; we can use the light once it's dark outside." Your mother scolded you.

"It's okay; I can't cook unless I can see what I am doing." You excused yourself by putting the food in the oven. You heard your mother sigh, walking to the kitchen door.

"And does the living room's light need to be on for you to cook as well?"

"Where's dad?" You asked instead. Your mother's back was resting against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest as she shook her head in disapproval while still looking at the living room.

"He went to buy some wine; he thought we still had some at home, but it seems like the last one had been emptied the last time we met with our friends."

"Lasagna and wine. This is way fancier than what I thought."

"It's been so long since I actually spent time here; everywhere I look, I can remember your grandma walking around, speaking to someone, cooking... it just feels weird. How are you doing?" Your mother asked. Her hand was on top of yours, squeezing it. "My little girl has become a woman now; it's just so weird. This whole big old house just for you must take so much work and effort."

"It's alright. It was harder at first, but I think now I'm getting used to it, but I miss you both." You confessed, smiling at her. "That's why I thought it would be a good idea to invite you both, and there are so many rooms in here; maybe you can stay the night? I still haven't cleaned all the rooms, but there are a few guest rooms that are ready to be used."

"Oh, speaking of rooms, why don't you show me yours?" Your mother asked excitedly. Standing up from her seat.

"It is really messy right now." You tried to change the topic, "I didn't clean it."

"Honey, do you forget that I was the one that had to clean your room until you started high school? I bet it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Yeah, I know—but... Mom? Where are you...?" Your mom had started to move to the door, disappearing as you started hearing some steps on the staircase.

You quickly put on your feet, trying to catch up with your mom's quick footsteps. She always had light steps that, in seconds, could move kilometers.

You almost tripped, catching just on time to avoid hitting against the wooden staircase by holding dear God to the step right above the one you almost fell.

"Be careful! God." Your mom sighed in relief once you started walking again. And, luckily, this time she waited for you to be right next to her to continue walking again.

The only door that was open in the hallway was the bathroom's door, and the light was on. Your mom didn't like it; she clicked her tongue as you both passed by, sneakily turning the light switch off before you could realize it.

The only light in the hallway came from the living room light, but as soon as your mother's hand touched the doorknob of your bedroom door, it seemed that both of you were blinded by the amount of bright light coming from your room.

It seemed as if you had your own electric sun in your very room.

"But for heaven's sake! How do you not go blind with all this light? My God." Your mother covered her eyes with the same hand she had opened the door with, advancing into the room with a little nudge to the door so that there was too much room for both of you to enter.

Your room was such a mess; there were lots of clothes on the floor. You have not vacuumed in almost two weeks. There were some books and a good twenty pages of your notes on your desk, with an old cup of tea that had been there for so long that there was a ring of it already tattooed on the desk.

"You are still the same mess you have been since you were a child, huh? Adulting hasn't reached out to you yet." Your mom joked, sitting down on your bed that was still undone.

"At least you're keeping something alive; I cannot remember the number of plants you have killed in the past."

Your mother was putting some water on the little cactus. She was glancing at you here and there, noticing your lack of response.

"Where did you get it? I want to have one for myself as well." Your mom continued. "Does it take that much effort, or do you just water it once per day?"

"It was growing outside," you replied, trying to come up with some sort of response to your mom's curious eyes. "If I find another one, I'll save it for you." You promised it.

Your mother nodded. "Yeah, I would love to." She kept looking around. "You could use some new decorations; what are these curtains? You could use some less thick ones; can you even tell when there's sun outside?"

The horn of your dad's car made them know it was time to eat, fortunately for your stomach, which had already been waiting for food for a long time.

Your dad was waiting on the other side of the door; his hands were full of things he seemed to have just bought. Your mouth started salivating when your eyes fell on the chocolate ice cream he had against his chest. That was most likely freezing him, even with his big jacket on.

Your mom was already taking the food out of the oven. Settling the table with the plates you had to buy new because one of your gentle roommates had broken more than six of them, you remembered bitterly.

"It took you long enough; where are you fabricating it by hand?" Your mother joked, taking the things from your father's hands and placing them on the fridge to have them later.

"There was only one person manning the cash register," your father commented with a tired sigh, sitting down in one of the three chairs that sat with a plate of food in front of them. "So I had to wait until the couple finished paying for theirs. It looked like they had bought it for a whole year. Oh, it smells so good." Your dad complimented you, smiling happily at you.

"Mom cooks." You confessed. Your mom rolled her eyes, taking the only available chair.

"Well, I wanted to make sure you're actually eating food for once, but I must say, I am surprised. I saw some onions, carrots, and tomato skins in the trash, so at least you're eating your vegetables."

"That's an upgrade from the two in the morning cereal that I usually found you snacking on almost every night." Your father agrees with your mother.

"Hey, wait," you suddenly said, your hands moving under everything that was on the table, even checking the floor. "Has anyone seen my phone? I swear I had it here just a minute ago."

"Are you for real? Again?" Your mother nags, helping you search for it. "How come you're always losing that thing when it's basically an extension of your own arm?"

You ended up finding it on the staircase. You frowned, not really knowing how it ended up there in the first place.

You took advantage of the fact that you were already there to turn on the lights in the hallway, and in almost every room you could, the sun had already gone down completely.

You hurried up to go back to enjoy the rest of the dinner with your family, convincing them both to stay the night and hoping that your mother did not turn the lights off as soon as you closed your bedroom's door behind your back once it was time to sleep.

•°•

You had already lost count of the mental count you were taking, sighing deeply to hold on and reinforce your thin patience that was almost non-existent.

Your blankets were covering you up to below the neck, and you were debating whether it had been a good idea to have invited your parents that night or not.

It seemed like everything had been amplified by your parents' visit.

There was a point in which you just couldn't support it anymore, and you could even hear your dad's classic coughing technique to let you know you weren't letting him sleep that he had been using since you had memory.

So, feeling a little bit braver now that you knew your parents were upstairs, you started walking through the long and spooky dark hallway, the only source of light coming from the bright electronic sun you had made in your bedroom, and the lamps posited here and there in the narrow space up to the staircase.

You could tell they had already started sensing you out of your room because a heavy and unwelcoming sensation ran through your spine, making you hug yourself tighter. Your hands were starting to hurt from how they were holding onto your own waist.

You let out a shaky breath. You were now not so sure that this had been a good idea, as your anger and lack of sleep had made you feel two minutes away.

You basically throw yourself to the other wall, slowly pocking your head out of the protection the wall had given you and taking a quick glance at what was going on downstairs.

You could see a lengthy sillouete moving with heavy footsteps to the kitchen, moving their head in your direction before disappearing. You could hear the sillouete opening one of your snack bags and, seconds later, the sound of the microwave making some popcorn. The smell travels from the kitchen to your nose.

There was a noise that was scarily similar to a thunderstorm coming from your own living room, and almost as if you were still dreaming, you saw a way shorter figure running quickly to the stairs, throwing some of the family portraits on the wall to the floor, some of the crystals not surviving such a fall.

"What are you doing?" A voice came through, and your eyes darted around the dimly lit room with a few orange-hued light bulbs.

The somewhat annoyed-sounding voice soon had a body to go with it. His silhouette was tall, with broad shoulders and a small waist. His legs were long and slender, seeming to be the length of miles. "It's too dangerous for you to leave your room now!"

His long and thin fingers wrapped around your wrist, the cold and icy feeling not as recomfortating as you would have hoped.

His touch gave you goosebumps. And his hold was so strong that you were scared it would leave red marks once you could get free from his hold, because it would mean this actually happened and it was not a product of your mind, that it was not a nightmare.

His fingers dug even deeper into your skin as he cinched you with long, spaced steps to the nearest room he could find, practically pulling you inside and hurrying to close the door behind him.

The door had barely reached the latch when something began to slam it hard, causing the piece of wood to vibrate with each blow it was given. You feared the door was going to break in two, and you would be face-to-face with whatever was providing such blows. You would have nowhere to go.

"Jihoon, drop it off." Wonwoo exclaimed; his voice wasn't shouting, but even with his calm voice, it was obvious the annoyance in it.

Distes took two steps back, wanting to cover as much distance as possible. Wonwoo didn't even look at you, but his arm found you with ease, occultating you behind him again, serving as a shield between the door that threatened to break at any moment and you.

His big back didn't let you see much, which a part of your brain was grateful for because it only kept you from overthinking the ways in which that shadow could hurt you.

You had never entered that room, or at least you didn't remember ever having done so. But the little light coming in from under the door was the only source of light, so you couldn't make out much.

The pitch darkness only made you feel even more anxious, and a feeling that you were being watched began to creep in with a knot in your stomach.

You reached out your hand to where you could see the light switch, trying as hard as you could to reach it with your fingers.

Just a little more...

"Don't even think about it." Wonwoo's voice sounded a little panicky as his eyes fell on what you were trying to do, your fingers brushing against the plastic rectangle, seconds away from turning on the light. "You want me to disappear and get trapped in here?"

Jihoon, as Wonwoo had called him, gave one last angry thump but quickly moved on to other doors. And it was in those moments that you remembered something...

"My room." You muttered in horror, your hand covering your mouth as the realization settled in.

"Don't worry," Wonwoo said, shaking his head. "Though it may seem so, Jihoon isn't stupid. He knows that if he gets close to such a light bomb, he'll disappear before he realizes where he's trying to enter."

"Do you think we'll be here for long?" You asked, trying to see if you could pick up any movement over your shoulder, but nothing seemed to be there.

"I don't think so." Wonwoo murmured, his hands going to your face and his fingers gently stroking your temple.

You could hear the path Jihoon was making because of how far away the knocking could be heard, and everything was going great until you heard the sound of a mirror shattering.

"That goddammit brat." Wonwoo sighed. "You can take a seat; it's probably going to take longer than I expected."

You nodded, but you made no attempt to actually sit down when some rat or spider could literally be right next to your foot.

"There's nothing," Wonwoo mentioned, looking over his own shoulder at you while you still remained standing. "It's just you and me here."

The space was not that big; the room looked more like a large closet than a bedroom. And his silky voice echoed between the four walls.

His steps made you follow his way even when his dark sillouete camouflaged with the darkness of the room.

You heard some sort of chair moving against the old wooded floor. "Sit." He ordered, and you did as he told you once you felt the chair hitting softly against your foot.

You didn't know, and didn't even dare to ask, how dirty and dusty that old chair was because you knew it wasn't something you brought into the house.

It felt cold and uncomfortable under your weight, and the poor chair complained once you finally settled in.

"This is my room." Wonwoo filled in the silence. He was sitting down right in front of you; his legs were crossed and his fingers interlocked. "Sorry for the mess; I was not necessarily expecting guests tonight."

"It's lovely." You politely replied. You could feel your heartbeat beating faster now that you realized how close you both were, with his ankles accidentally bumping yours. He quickly apologized for this, moving as far away into the chair he was using as possible.

"How do you know?" He asked, and you could tell there was a hint of a teasing smile on his face because of his tone. "Human eyes cannot see when it's this dark."

You chocked with your own saliva once his words were registered by your brain, suddenly feeling a little bit too hot. You were thankful for the darkness of the room; at least he could not see your embarrassed state.

"I never knew this room was occupied before." You mumbled, moving on the chair, still uncomfortable when you felt his eyes on your every move.

"Well, I don't like to be as noisy as Jeonghan or as explosive as Jihoon." He replied.

His voice was mesmerizing, and with each word he spoke, it crept to connect with the other.

He cleared his throat as footsteps sounded near the door. Someone sighed, and they began to sound further away from the room.

"Who...?" You began, but Wonwoo didn't need to hear more to know what it was you were trying to ask.

"Jeonghan," he muttered, his body stretching toward some piece of furniture he had near him, because you could hear a drawer dezlising and the rattle of a package. "I'm sure he came to get this."

Something brushed against your hand, and you jumped in your seat, your back suddenly slamming against the backrest.

You quickly discovered it was a package of your favorite snacks.

"He was already finishing them, so I hid the remaining ones here."

"And how does he know they are here? What if he tries to get in here just like the other one?"

Wonwoo shook his head. "He won't. He's not like Jihoon; he knows how to respect private space. It's just that he thinks everything in the kitchen or common spaces around the house is for everybody to take and use."

"Then why don't you open the door to give them to him? I can buy more later anyway." You ask him; you didn't mean to sound as judgy as the words that came out of your mouth.

"Because I don't trust you to not lose your calm and to turn the lights on. I don't want to die just because of Jeonghan, you know."

Wonwoo had stood up, leaning against the door, and without even seeing his face, you could see that his eyes were on you, undisguised.

You were a little intimidated by how tall he was.

"My parents are going to wake up if they keep making such a fuss."

"I'd be more worried that they weren't sleeping in Hyowun's bed. Your grandmother had let her have her own room because she hated having her space used."

"Who is Hyowun?" you asked worriedly, already standing up, ready to open the door and face whatever was in there.

"There's no way you alone can go in there and make him understand what he's supposed to do. In his mind, you're invading his personal space."

"Then what do I do?"

"A deal with me." Wonwoo proposed, his hand outstretched.

53 notes · View notes

zhongrin · 1 year

Text

swirl & crystallize (and more)

(self-indulgent version | original post)

◇ characters ◇ romantic!zhongli, familial!xiao, platonic!kazuha, platonic!shinobu, romantic!al haitham, platonic!ayato, familial!yaoyao

◇ tags ◇ fluff, selfship, be respectful; don't like don't read!, soft yandere on some parts

◇ a/n ◇ since the people i tagged had a lot of fun with the selfship version, it made me want to write one for myself hahah

ps. i treat the two teams as if they exist in a separate universe, so they're totally unrelated to each other!

pps. feel free to join in if you see this!

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

team 1: xiao (🏠), kazuha (👥), zhongli (💞), shinobu (👥) + lumine (👥)

(dynamics with each other in the old post)

✧— zhongli

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

i’m not sure what you’re talking about, traveler-

hm? she… told you about it? …. i see.

well, as she had requested, i hope you keep this a secret from the others. if teyvat ever knows that the master of this world herself has descended, i fear many of her people would vie for her attention. and as you know, she dislikes being in the spotlight…

⚘ about mei: husband and wife ⚘

i daresay that no one walking upon teyvat holds as much love and devotion to her as i do. it certainly is pleasing to know that my affection is reciprocated, and to this day i am still unable to fathom how she can regard me as an equal - and at times, higher - than her.

while i can say that it feels… pleasant, to know that she adores me so to the point of worship, all my life i have lived believing that it should be the other way around… so it’s quite a dilemma that i’m facing here.

✧— xiao

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

i don’t know what you’re talking about, traveler.

... huh? you knew? and rex lapis responded the same way, you say? … hmph. i see.

don’t you hit me with that ‘parent and child’ nonsense that she always jokes about. i am unfit to be someone’s ‘beloved son’ or whatever, and certainly not rex lapis and teyvat’s impetus.

⚘ about mei: mother and child ⚘

honestly, she treats me like a child despite fully knowing i can take care of myself. worrying about me whenever we dive into battles, always fussing over me to drink the qingxin tea to help with karmic debt… i’ve told her several times that her presence alone is enough to ease the burden of-

a-anyway, she’s quite the mother hen, as i’m sure you also know.

✧— kazuha

⚘ about mei: a special existence ⚘

just as how zhongli-sensei may not be all that he claims to be, i believe the same applies to his wife.

…. haha, you’re quite easy to read, traveler. it was a mere shot in the dark, with only my intuition as its guide, yet it seems like i am right once again. well, no matter. perhaps i will gain their trust in due time. now, i only wish to enjoy the present times of this delightful company.

⚘ about mei: like a sister ⚘

while a geo vision suits her, i think she would have been just as happy with an anemo vision. the way she always asks for me to float her upwards so she can glide down like an excited child is quite endearing. and the way zhongli-sensei rigidly stands by whenever she does this… *chuckles*

oh, i’m sorry, i just think he worries a little too much for his wife sometimes… it’s really quite sweet. it… reminds me of my own father, before my mother…

… ah, apologies, i didn’t mean for the atmosphere to take a gloomy turn.

anyway, i’m just happy to see her so content whenever she’s interacting with zhongli-sensei. i just wish they can dial down the public displays of affection sometimes - i personally don’t mind, but i can see that a few people constantly get secondhand embarrassments, haha!

✧— shinobu

⚘ about mei: chaotic neutral ⚘

look, i’m not saying she’s at the same level as the boss. but you have to admit, for someone who was so shy and timid at first, she sure hid a whole lot of personality once you get to know her.

she’s also a little too spoiled. have you seen how mr. zhongli would just bend over backward to abide by her words? it’s as funny as it is endearing, but i worry she’ll get in trouble one day when she accidentally steps her foot onto the wrong territory... huh? the mom friend? me? ….. *sigh*

traveler.

when am i not the mom friend?

⚘ about mei: looking out for each other ⚘

fortunately, she could be responsible and serious when she has to. it still surprises me how grounded and stern she could be when times are dire; it almost reminds me of mr. zhongli. are all geo vision holders like that, i wonder?

…. wait. scratch that. that was a stupid thought.

bonus!

✧— lumine

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

the first time i realized that this world exists for her sake, i was shocked, of course. what made her so special that a world was born just to entertain her musings? sometimes i think that if not for her, perhaps we wouldn’t have been-

..... *sigh* what am i saying. i know it’s not her fault that things unfolded this way, since she didn’t have the power to influence the events happening in teyvat. in any case, she felt responsible enough to tag along on this journey, and it’s mostly thanks to her that an ex-archon and the demon conqueror himself agreed to travel together with us. so no, i don’t resent her or anything like that. in fact, i would say that we’re good friends.

⚘ about mei: little sisters ⚘

she told me that she had older brothers, once. and it just… clicked to me. the reason why i feel like we can understand each other really well. the reason why she was so adamant to accompany me on my adventure. why she’s so empathetic whenever it comes to matters involving… him.

it’s all because she understands the pain of being separated from her family.

perhaps after i reunite with my family, i can accompany her on her voyage to look for hers? but… well, looking at how she has found a family here too, i’m not sure what she wishes to do…

team 2: al haitham (💞), ayato (👥), zhongli (💞), yaoyao (🏠)

✧— al haitham

oh my god he’s already one of my most beloved dps because dendro element’s flexibility + his high damage. it also helps that he’s the only 5* whom i have the signature weapon for lol

since he came home at 1 pity, i imagine in this scenario we just dropped by the akademiya one day on a whim to invite him to the party… and the next day the acting grand sage just goes missing, with a letter on his desk saying: “the divine one invited me to a vacation."

cue people working at the akademiya being quite literally in shambles because who do they report to now??? hello???? first the grand sage gets dethroned now the acting grand sage goes missing???????

he respects ayato and barely interacts with him, but they surprisingly get along well, be it or outside the battlefield.

with zhongli… not to say that they don’t get along well, but they certainly aren't the bestest of friends. they don’t snap at each other or anything like that though! it's just that if you leave them alone in a room, al haitham would just default to reading his book and zhongli would probably find something to amuse himself instead of talking with the akademiya scribe.

seems indifferent to yaoyao but silently looks after her. he made her a flower crown using his vision at her birthday one time, but that’s a secret he’ll take to his grave. except yaoyao proudly presented it to the other members when they asked where she got the adorable flower crown. #exposed

⚘ about zhongli: cold ⚘

surely by now, you know that i dislike quite a number of people and will not bother to try and force myself to get along with them. he’s not special in this aspect.

i simply am not a fan of sharing my... personal interests.

⚘ about ayato: elusive ⚘

the man wields his words like he wields his blades; swift strikes precisely delivered onto vital points, and before you could even blink, he’s had his sword back sheathed. very efficient and yet inefficient at the same time, i'd say.

⚘ about yaoyao: why is a child here? ⚘

i’m not sure why a young child is traveling with us, but mei kept saying she’s tagging along because she’ll make me stronger. to this day, i am unable to understand her logic, but i value her opinion so i let her do whatever she wants. surprisingly, from the combat data i’ve collected, her claim seems to be true. perhaps her godly powers are at work here. i’ll have to study this phenomenon further.

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

rin is certainly interesting, isn’t she? doesn’t exactly act like a deity when she’s supposed to be this world’s reason for existence. neither does she ask us to worship or obey her commands. and she certainly doesn’t seem to mind being treated so… well. lightly put, beneath what was supposed to be her place. hah. it’s quite refreshing.

hm. it seems like the sharp-eared consultant is glaring at me yet again. i’ll go back to reading my book now. kindly do not bother me for the next hour.

⚘ about mei: similarities ⚘

sans her periodically outgoing outbursts of energy and her deep empathy, i think we’re quite alike in the minute details of our personalities and preferences. we believe in work-life balance and our wish to lead a comfortable life overall. we’re also both not morning people. dislikes sand getting in our shoes. thinks that going out in the rain isn’t preferable. both avid fans of a good cup of coffee. she even told me my soundproof earpiece is a marvelous invention and that she always uses it too, back in the previous world she lived in. naturally, this means we get along rather swimmingly.

ah, that reminds me, i should tell her that i’ve finished making her headphones. now, if you’ll excuse me-

hm? ….. yes, i’m aware that it’s already quite late. but is that not the point? you might not know because your room is never next to the consultant’s, but at times his snores are just far too loud. this way, she can use the headphones right away. i’m sure it’ll help her to fall asleep undisturbed by any external interventions.

and besides, she likes it when i visit her at night.

✧— ayato

gameplay wise, honestly, ayato is just there to take over while i’m waiting for al haitham’s skill to cool down lol

he’s the team’s wallet, aka childe 2.0

surprisingly, ayato gets along pretty well with all of them.

yes, including al haitham.

zhongli could be a tad gullible sometimes, so ayato actually is having a blast feeding him uh… questionable lies… plus, he’s a big tease and he finds it funny to poke and prod at the stoic man. someone save zhongli

yaoyao reminds him of young ayaka, so he naturally dotes on her. big brother behavior, very wholesome.... until you realize he’s teaching her where to stab people so they bleed out and die (or in his words: ‘so bad people will get an ouchie’).

⚘ about al haitham: bet ⚘

while i can’t say our work ethics match each others’, i suppose i can bet a million mora that he’ll win in consideration as his friend.

hmm? win in what, you ask? ahaha, don’t mind my silly musings…

⚘ about zhongli: milk tea ⚘

oh, mr. zhongli is such a pleasant individual to chat over tea. speaking of, i think it’ll be tea time soon. do you perhaps have a bottle of milk, traveler? ah, perfect.

why do i need it you ask? well, the expression on his face whenever i add them to my cup of tea is always a sight to behold, haha!

⚘ about yaoyao: child labor(?) ⚘

if it was up to me i would have arrested mei for child labor. but she was smart enough to borrow what seems to be a friend of hers’ counterargument: “but you also employ sayu in shuumatsuban?”

well, i can’t possibly dispute that, can i? *chuckle* i would love to get to know that friend of hers one day.

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

haha, it really doesn’t feel like she’s teyvat’s beloved raison d’etre, doesn’t it? the way we interact with each other is a very different dynamic than what i’m used to dealing with, back home. she's vastly different than the raiden shogun, both in personality and way of life.

if i had to liken her to someone… i’d say she reminds me of ayaka. well… a more… how do i say this without incurring mr. zhongli’s disapproving glares… unhinged version of her, once you know her truly.

come now, don’t look at me like that. you know it’s true. *chuckles*

⚘ about mei: mistreatment ⚘

in my opinion, she’s very biased toward the akademiya’s scribe and wangsheng’s consultant. have you seen the charms she bestowed on them? they’re clearly of a very different quality than ours. even a normal civilian with no vision would be able to tell that they’re special. i wonder how much effort it took her to enchant those artifacts.

as someone who thought of her like a little sister and willingly prioritized her invitation to travel together, it’s very saddening that she does not put the same care for me as she does for those two. oh, how heartbreaking. i am riddled with grief. *leisurely sips boba*

✧— zhongli

d-do i even need to explain? he’s in my every team composition because of his shield and burst lol

and he’s such an eye candy too

given his (currently) non confrontational nature, he gets along well with everyone…. well. he tries to get along with ayato and al haitham.

with ayato, it’s a constant battle of innuendos and implications and it causes major headaches to people listening.

with al haitham, he’s… well… honestly i’m not sure why they don’t 'get along'. perhaps the word i’m looking for is ‘distant’? there seems to be a hidden hostility here…

gets along most with yaoyao out of the three. so many precious grandpa-granddaughter moments. it’s him who reads/tells her bedtime stories at night and she loves it a lot. this routine is the reason why she would sometimes offer to other people to read them bedtime stories.

⚘ about al haitham: rivalry ⚘

rivalry, you say? hmm…

does it look so obvious from your point of view? ... this won’t do. i really shouldn’t be relapsing to my old self… *sigh*

⚘ about ayato: customs ⚘

though our taste in beverages doesn’t align, our chats are always eye-opening. i learn much intriguing knowledge every single time. for example, apparently, inazumans have this custom to add at least one unusual, exotic ingredient into every hotpot they have. is it not most amusing?

⚘ about yaoyao: glimpse of the future (?) ⚘

ah, the young disciple of streetward rambler. such a pure-minded and responsible child. i think it’s endearing whenever mei dotes on her and carry her around everywhere. she even let yaoyao sleep in her arms while we’re traveling. it makes me think of-

…. ahem. my mind wandered a little too far there, my apologies. what was i saying? yes, she’s a sweet little one, isn’t she?

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

personally, i think she should use more of her authority. especially to our front liners. most especially to a certain high-ranking personage from sumeru. i would normally never overlook such insolence, but since mei herself told me to not interfere… *sigh* there is, unfortunately, nothing i can do but reprimand them once in a blue moon.

⚘ about mei: tea ⚘

mei is the one who controls the finances in our traveling group, but while she could be quite frugal, she always gets me whatever tea leaves they have in the market whenever we visit any encampments or cities. i appreciate that very much.

she does enjoy her coffee every now and then, but at the end of the day, she always comes back for tea. i think she might not realize it herself, but she clearly has a preference for tea over anything else - that is, including coffee.

hmm? i’m speaking allegorically? why, i’m not sure what you’re referring to, traveler. i am simply stating my observations.

✧— yaoyao

it’s actually shinobu but recently i swapped her with the new dendro child bc i wanted more variety (and that companion exp hskdjskdj)

this sun child gets along with everyone!! good job yaoyao!! she’s like a precious baby niece i don’t have sobsob

she’ll follow either al haitham or ayato around like a duckling around the marketplace if i went with zhongli (she knows he has the worst spending habits so we take turns keeping an eye on him lol). got separated from al haitham one time and he almost had a heart attack. now he holds her hand whenever they walk around in crowded places.

ayato knows how to handle children because he literally raised ayaka, so yaoyao loves being around him! he’ll fulfill her more childish wants that she never voices out loud (out of consideration for others) with a snap of his finger.

zhongli is yet another expert at childcare (although he has his clumsy moments) and he’s on friendly terms with all the adepti so yaoyao considers him at the same level as her adepti friends. he’d take her into his arms if she ever falls asleep while we’re walking about.

i’m gonna cry these are all adorable as fuck help

⚘ about al haitham: protection ⚘

mister al haitham looks a little scary at first, but you know what? he’s super caring! whenever there are battles, he always, always makes sure that i’m out of harm’s way first! *huffs* i kept telling him i can handle monsters on my own, but he just crouched down and patted my head. he didn’t even refute it!!

*sigh* i suppose his manners are a little lacking, but he means well, so i’ll overlook it, hehe.

⚘ about ayato: kind ⚘

ayato gege sneaks me candies every now and then! they’re always sakura-flavored, and i can’t get them in liyue markets, so he told me he’ll get them especially exported from inazuma to liyue when we stop traveling together! isn’t he so kind?

oh, and he’s especially good at putting up my hair! i think he’s used to doing it… he mentioned having a little sister once. maybe he used to put her hair up?

⚘ about zhongli: warmth ⚘

mister zhongli reminds me of the adepti, because he’s very dignified and knowledgeable! but apparently, he’s just human like me... but i still like him! he’s very nice and mature, save for his impulsive purchase habits...

he also tells me bedtime stories, and it makes me fall asleep within five minutes… *yawn* oh dear, thinking about it makes me sleepy… i think i’ll ask mei jiejie if i can take a short nap…

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

oh, meirin jiejie is really kind! she always shares any sweets she buys, and whenever miss shenhe visits us we would ask her to help making these cold yummy treats called ice cream! now if only she would eat her veggies with the same vigor…

⚘ about mei: secrets ⚘

jiejie and i tell a lot of secrets to each other! she tells me it’s because i’m a special child… i’m really flattered that she would trust me that much! but anyway, she told me you’re a close friend of hers, miss lumine, so i can tell you one of her secrets!

okay, so, jiejie never really admitted it outright, but i think she’s very fond of mr. zhongli and mr. al haitham… she always talks about them and she’s always saying about how handsome and capable they are! i asked her who she would marry and she got all red, hehe. who do you think will get to marry her, miss lumine?

bonus because i adore yaoyao so much:

#genshin impact #rin writes #rin selfships #zhongrin #zhongrinth #meitham #yandere #zhongli #al haitham #xiao #yaoyao #shinobu #kazuha #ayato #lumine

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lotrefcp · 8 months

Text

Hidden Away - Chapter 22

pairing/AU: Javier Peña x female!reader

summary: When the DEU fails to catch Escobar you are sent to Bogotá to help the team.

warnings: I don't understand this so just gonna say mature content, 18+, SMUT

word count: 4000+

I'm terrible at these kinds of chapters so, for everyone who has been waiting for it, my apologies.

Chapter 22

When Javi returned to the table Steve and Connie were already there resting, but he didn't see you.

“Where is Y/N?” he asked.

“We thought she was with you. When we sat down, no one was here.”, Connie said.

"No. She said she was coming here while I went to get some drinks.”

“Didn’t she go to the bathroom?”

“I don't think so. I still waited at the bar for some time. She would have had time to return by now.” Javi picked up his glass and drank it all in one go. “Well, thank you very much for the invitation and have fun the rest of the night. I’m going home.”

"Are you sure? Don’t you want to stay a little longer?”, Steve asked.

"I am. I'm going to space out a little. Have fun."

“Thank you for coming.”, Connie concluded.

And so Peña left the bar and headed to his jeep without really knowing where to go. So much had been said that night, so much progress had been made, he thought, and, suddenly, everything went back to the beginning. He didn't understand what had happened, what wrong he had done. Had he moved too quickly after discovering why you stayed away from contact with him or anyone else as much as possible? Had he forced something you didn't want? He thought you were opening up more during the little moment you danced together but were you simply pretending to make him happy? For listening to you without criticizing or mocking you?

Peña put the jeep to work and headed for the lake in Piedras Blancas Park, just outside the city. The stars scattered across the sky illuminated the calm night with the softness of their flickering and constant glow. He drove slowly towards his destination. He left the city and saw it getting behind him. He felt like he was abandoning there, at the edge of the city, his problems and images of the past, trying to discover what he could do to move forward in a new direction, towards you. He left the main road and took a secondary one, of dirt, which allowed him to wake up a little from the drowsiness he had fallen into. The lights that signaled the towns and the existence of houses began to disappear and with them the light necessary for driving along such tortuous paths. He turned on the high beams and paid more attention to the road. He was now on a path with loose stones and gravel that made the car bounce constantly. He finally arrived at the place he intended. He stopped the car next to a large tree and left the lights on so he could see the landscape around him. At that time, the waters of the lake seemed like a flow of black oil that filled the place and kissed the banks covered with dry leaves and small herbs that grew spontaneously there. He went to the front of the car and leaned against its hood, arms crossed in front of his chest, eyes resting on the rippling of the still waters. Javi's mind also seemed like a river of thoughts that undulated its way towards the sea of images of you and your smile, your green and sweet eyes, your soft and, according to what he imagined, delicious lips. He rested his hands on the car, one on each side of his body and lowered his head, not knowing what to do to show you that what he felt for you was true, to show you that he wanted you all to himself, forever. Why did life have to be so complicated? Why did love, such a natural feeling, have to cause so much suffering and pain? Would the act of giving oneself to someone be something so complicated that it could jeopardize the happiness of people who, even when separated, complete each other? I felt like his heart would come out of his mouth, if it weren't stopped by the joining of his lips to yours, by the brush of his skin against yours, by the merging of your aromas, of your bodies. He got off the car and walked to the edge of the lake. He bent down and put his right hand in the water, immediately directing it to his face, refreshing it in that hot night.

There, leaning on his bent legs, he saw his reflection in the black mirror of the lake and didn't like what he saw. He saw an incomplete man, divided, with his heart in two different places. One part fighting for survival in his chest and the other lost in you. He looked at the ground beside him and saw a small stone, polished and round. He picked it up and got up. He looked at it, blew off the dust that covered it and, in a move of strength and agility, threw it to the surface of the lake, making it bounce on the water, causing the formation of small liquid hurricanes, opening up in circular waves over the water on its point of impact. He got back into the jeep and, with renewed will and strength, headed back to the city and to the building where you both lived.

You had come home and were immediately prostrate on the couch. You laid your head on the arm of the furniture and thought about what had just happened. Firstly, you didn't understand why you had opened up to someone about what had happened to you, and then to Peña of all possible people, and secondly, you couldn’t understand how you had let yourself be carried away by him, how you had managed to be on the dance floor, with his body so close to yours, why you felt so good hugging him, how you would have let yourself go if the music hadn't ended at that very moment. You knew how you felt about him but you also knew that you weren't the kind of woman Peña would want in his life, a life that was already too complicated in itself. He didn't need to add your problems to his. Even if you don't remember a place where you feel safer than trapped against his chest, with the rhythmic beating of his heart in your ear making you relax and forget about everything that was going on around you. His touch made you react negatively at first, yes, but now you just wanted to feel him again on your skin, on your body. But if that was the case, why did you leave the bar so hastily, without even saying goodbye to Steve and Connie (you would have to apologize to them later), if that was the case why were you, now, alone in your house and not with him, somewhere else? You've been alone for a long time and, as much as you wanted to, you couldn't imagine yourself any other way. It was best for you and for him. Even because, as far as you knew, for him you would be just another night of pleasure and nothing more.

You got up and sat on the sofa a little more before getting up to take a shower when you heard someone knocking on your door. When you looked through the hole, you couldn't believe it. Peña was on the other side, hands on his hips, waiting for you to open the door. You didn't know what to do but, after a few seconds of thinking, you came to the conclusion that you had already been enough of a coward for one night. You opened the door.

“Hello Peña. Is everything okay?”, you asked trying to control all the emotions you were feeling at that moment.

“May I come in?” he simply asked .

“Of course.”, you replied, giving him space to pass the door into your room. "Is everything okay?"

“I'm the one asking you that. Why did you walk away when you said you were going to sit down?”

“And I did but I suddenly felt too overwhelmed with all the noise and fuss around me.”

“And why didn't you tell me? Why did you leave me thinking you were waiting for me? I could have come with you.”

“But it wasn't necessary. That's why everyone brought their own car. I didn't want to ruin your night. You were enjoying the music, you had your friends there, why would you have to leave? Just because I can't take a little noise?"

“Was that really why? Or was it me who did something wrong?”

"You?" Your heart started beating even faster knowing that Peña thought he had done something wrong and was blaming himself for your sudden departure. "Of course not. Don't even think about it. I'm just too complicated of a person. That’s all."

“And you think I am not?”

“Yes, and it's too much trouble. It's enough for us to deal with our own problems. I cannot impose mine on someone else.”

“But what if that someone wants to help you with them? What if they can help each other?”

“I don't know how much you drank after I left but you're not thinking straight. You are the famous Peña, who runs around all the brothels in the city because you don't want relationships, problems or commitments. You won't want to change now."

“How do you know I don’t want to?”, he asked as he slowly approached you, making you walk backwards almost without realizing it, until your back hit a wall. “And I already told you that I have no problems with commitments. I just hadn’t found anyone I wanted to commit to yet.”

“And do you think you’ve already found it?”, you asked without wanting to know the answer, his body almost glued to yours, his lips surrounding your face.

"I know I did." And saying that, he touched his lips to yours, slowly, carefully, afraid of your reaction. When he realized that you had accepted him, he began to devour your mouth more passionately, bringing his hands to your face, pressing himself closer to you. Your hands began to run through his hair uncontrollably, opening your lips so that his tongue could meet yours, which had been waiting for his for so long. His hands left your face and went to your shoulders, slowly going down your arms until he reached your wrists, which he grabbed firmly, lifting them above your head, without ever letting go. His mouth suddenly left yours and began to roam your face until he reached your ear, which he bit lightly before venturing to your neck, kissing and biting it affectionately. It was while he was making this journey from one side of your neck to the other that memories of the past came back and you started to tell him to stop.

"Stop. Let go of me.”

“Why?”, he asked, returning to your lips. “Aren’t you enjoying it?”

“No.”, you replied, ripping your arms out of his hands and pushing him back. “I already told you to stop.” He separated from you with the force with which you pushed him and stared at you without knowing what to say.

“I can't do this. I just go back to what happened to me right away. I can’t."

“But don’t you trust me?”

“I already said I do but that doesn’t stop the memories from coming back. Please leave. Leave me alone. You already know where the door is.” And saying that you turned your back on him and entered your bedroom. Peña looked at you without knowing what to do, until he decided to leave, but when he put his hand on the door handle, he decided he wouldn't leave you like that, alone.

He turned his back and went towards your room. He walked in, slowly, and looked around for you but he didn't see you. It was then that he noticed that the bathroom light was on, heading towards it. From the outside, he could see you in front of the mirror, with your hands resting on the sink and your face looking down, crying. He approached you and you became aware of his presence. You raised your face to the mirror and saw him right behind you. You wiped your tears.

“What are you still doing here? Did I not tell you to go away?” He placed his hands on your waist before speaking.

“You can send me away as many times as you want, but I won't leave you alone.”

“Are you that desperate to fuck someone?”

“No, but I am desperate to have you.” And he took his lips to your shoulder again, slowly rising to your neck. Without realizing it, you moved your head to the other side so that he had more space to kiss you. He could see the pleasure on your face mixed with the tears that continued to fall on the mirror in front of you, the vulnerable way you surrendered your skin to his lips. He walked away for a while and, with his hands still on your waist, he made you turn towards him and he returned to devour your lips, with more and more desire, more lust. In a quick movement he took his hands that were on your waist to your thighs, and with little effort he got you up and made you sit on top of the sink behind you. He looked at you almost as if asking for permission and, seeing that you didn't refuse him, he opened your legs and put his hands under the skirt of your dress until he reached your panties. When you felt his hands so close to your sex you flinched, closing your eyes. He stopped.

"Do you trust me?" Slowly you opened your eyes and nodded your head affirmatively. He started to slide the undergarment down your legs until they were completely off, lowering himself as he moved them. When he got up again, he looked into your eyes and placed his hand on your leg again, taking it to your vagina, now completely naked for him. But, once again, your body reacted on its own to the feel of his fingers on your skin and you immediately closed your legs. He made you look at him.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s okay. You have control of everything.”, he said, taking your hand and placing it on top of his that was running along your leg. “I won’t do anything you don’t want. You are the one who will guide my hand. If you don’t want to continue, just stop.” And with your hand on top of his, he used the other to grab you by the neck and bring your forehead to his. “You can do whatever you want.” And hearing him repeat the authorization, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You started to move his hand with yours between your legs and, copying Peña's position, you brought your other hand to his neck and grabbed it tightly, keeping your foreheads even closer together. And suddenly you felt his fingers on you, running down from the back, through your folds and to your clit, which he began to massage slowly. Moans started to rise up your throat but you held them back. He suddenly stopped.

"Look at me. Open your eyes and look at me.” You obeyed. “You have control of everything, I promise. But don't control your pleasure. Let me hear you, please.” And, shyly, you shook your head again. He continued his movements, always looking you in the eyes, massaging the set of nerves that opened to his fingers again.

“Uhmmmmm.”, you started to moan softly, looking at him.

“That’s it, let it go.” He felt how wet you were and he was also starting to feel his penis throbbing in his pants. He took his fingers out from under your skirt and brought them to his mouth to taste you. “Just as I imagined.” And putting his hand between your legs again, he started to stick a finger inside you, making your mouth open in surprise. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Yes, yes...”, you replied in a slightly louder moan. And with the affirmative answer he inserted another finger into you, making them enter and exit carefully. You continued to hold his neck tighter and tighter, trying to keep your gaze locked on his as he asked you to. “Uhmmmm, Peña. That feels so good.”, you said in a moan of pleasure like you hadn’t had in a long time. "Faster." And, with a smile on his face, Javi began to move his fingers inside you faster, bending them inside your cunt, massaging your spongy interior, while his thumb returned to paying attention to your clit.

He felt you tighten around his fingers and he knew you were close to orgasm. "Talk to me. Tell me how you feel.”, he asked once more.

"I'm close. Don't stop, please. Oh God, Peña. Don’t stop." And finally closing your eyes, you felt a wave of pleasure like you had never felt before running through your body, your legs closing and shaking with satisfaction. “Uhmmmmm, Peña, it feels so good.”, you ended up moaning louder when you reached your peak and you let your forehead leave his and rest on his shoulder, hugging him with both arms. He also hugged you close to him and waited for you to catch your breath. “Are you okay?”, he asked in your ear. “Hmm, hmm…” was all you managed to reply. Smiling once more he had you wrap your legs around him and, again effortlessly, picked you up and carried you to your bed. Once there, he made you sit on the left side and, sitting next to you, he brought his lips to yours again, while his hands ran down your back, reaching the tie that still held your dress together and undoing it. Then he separated his lips from yours and, taking his hands to your shoulders, he pulled the straps of your dress until it fell onto your lap, revealing your breasts. “Beautiful.”, he said, massaging them, passing his thumbs over your nipples, making them stand up completely, the moans wanting to escape again. Making you lie down on the bed with your head on the pillow, he grabbed your dress and, making you lift your butt off the mattress, took it off completely, throwing it on the floor next to you. Your hand immediately tried to cover the scar that covered one side of your abdomen up to your navel, embarrassed at being completely naked in someone's eyes. “No, don’t do that.” He grabbed your hand and took it away from your scar. “You are simply perfect. You have no reason to be ashamed of anything.” And saying that, he lowered his face and took it to the area you were trying to cover, tracing the entire scar with his lips, with his tongue. “Just perfect.”, he repeated. You sat in front of him and, kissing him with renewed passion, you began to undo the buttons on his shirt, taking it off completely and throwing it close to the place where your dress was already located. You then took it to his belt, starting to unfasten it, taking your hand to the swelling between his legs. He stopped you from continuing.

“Don’t. Today is just about you.” And he got up taking off his pants and boxers at the same time. Soon his penis was freed from the prison it was in and you saw it hitting his stomach, such was the desire that made it so hard. He knelt down at the foot of the bed and, grabbing your right leg, began kissing it, starting from the foot, passing through the calf of the leg and the knee, and finally reaching your middle. He made you put your legs on top of his shoulders and he started tasting you, as if he couldn't handle the hunger for you, the desire for your taste. He ran his tongue through your vagina, ending again at your clit, which he sucked languidly, his hands massaging your breasts, your hands over his, moving them the way you wanted them to feel you. His tongue finally entered you and a moan left your lips, his name becoming a symbol of pleasure. “Hummmm, Peña, oh fuck.” He continued to taste you, licking you outside and inside, until you started to show signs of being close to coming. “Oh God, I'm almost there. Don’t stop." But despite your request he walked away from you, his face glowing with your juices. "No...", you said in a desperate tone.

“Don't think it will be that fast.” He kissed your skin, from your navel to your neck, leaving marks of your passion along the way. He reached your lips again and sucked your tongue, as if it wasn't enough just having it inside of him. And that's when, putting your hands between your bodies, you grabbed his penis and started massaging it. You could feel it pulsing, its veins full of desire for you. “You really don't know how to wait.”, Javi said with a smirk on his lips. “And yes, that's all for you. Because of you and for you.” He took over your lips again and he could feel your smile widening as he took hold of his penis and began to align himself with your entrance. You quickly felt his head entering you and a groan broke out. "So tight for me.", he said between kisses. “If you need me to stop, just say so.” And so he continued to enter you. He was so big that you felt some difficulty in receiving him but you didn't want him to stop because of you.

“You're taking it so well.”, he continued to praise as he released your lips and looked between your bodies to see himself entering you. He stopped one last time. “Don’t stop. I can take it”, you said in a desperate tone. And so, with one last effort, he entered you completely, and despite the initial pain, you've never felt so complete. He remained like that, inside you, without moving for a few seconds, feeling only the sensation of being completely engulfed by you. And, little by little, he began to move, taking his cock out until he was simply leaving his head inside you and then thrusting himself back in with more and more force, until he heard you moaning louder and louder. “Yeah, let me hear you. You're so beautiful. Made just for me.”

“God, it feels so good. To feel you in me. Uhmmmmm. Keep going.”, you said as he started to run his teeth over your nipples, your hands squeezing him against you, your breasts almost completely engulfed by him. “I told you they were perfect for me.”, he said, remembering the conversation from that night between you and Connie. And suddenly you had your legs around him, Peña increasing the pace with which he entered and left you. And felt you, finally, tightening around his penis, ready to come once more. "Faster. Please." And knowing you were almost coming, he put his hand between your bodies and returned it to your clit, throbbing and aching more than ever. And a few seconds later you were moaning his name, his mouth on your neck. And, feeling you coming too, he began to feel his whole body trembling and with three or four more movements, he reached his peak. You felt him coming inside you and you felt a new wave of pleasure again. He moaned his pleasure, you name leaving his mouth over and over again and at the end he collapsed on top of you, your chests bouncing wildly and sweat running down your bodies. He got out of you, slowly, and taking his fingers to your middle, he passed them again through your still sensitive cunt and, collecting the juices of your passion, he took them to his mouth, kissing you immediately so that you, too, could taste the result of the night for which you had been waiting for so long. He got off of you, laying down beside your body and you, taking your hand to his chest, closed your eyes and fell asleep. He stayed awake for some time, covering your bodies with the sheet, until he also fell asleep with a smile on his face.

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