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jemgirl86 · 9 months

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So, in the past 2 days, with 2 different friends, I’ve discussed actors being asked questions about shipping. And I’ve come to the conclusion, probably because I’m an elder millennial lol, and can remember before the words “shipping” and “fandom” were tossed around in casual conversation, and also because I’ve watched a shit ton of tv, that I might have a fairly unpopular, or at least different, opinion about the whole thing.

Quick note: I’m not picking on anything or anybody. This is just my two cents…

Okay, so, I think my main problem with this whole thing is twofold:

1. I’m sick of how these questions are being asked.

2. I’m sick of all parties involved acting brand new.

When I say I’m sick of the framing what I mean is, I’m tired of “fandom” and or fandom shit being brought up by interviewers and being used as a scapegoat/reason for them to ask questions they were always going to ask anyway, and have been asking about couples on various shows since FOREVER lol.

What do I mean? Well, at its core, the Syd/Carmy dynamic - the way it is presented and written, whether anyone wants to admit it or not - is a “will they/won’t they” relationship, in the most classic sense. Now, “will they, won’t they” might not have have been the original plan when the show was developed, which is often the case. They might’ve gotten to set and the actors just had natural chemistry together. However, at this point, the writing and direction has fed into it, also whether they intended to or not, at least to a certain degree, and no this isn’t a “men and women can’t be friends” thing, lol, they’re already friends on the show, and that doesn’t have to change, but their friendship isn’t stopping the other tension from bleeding through.

It’s a tale as old as time… Sam & Diane… David & Madelyn… Fran & Maxwell… Kyle & Maxine… Jim & Pam… Mulder & Scully… Janine & Gregory… etc etc, I could literally go on forever, especially if I started counting soap opera couples lol. These “we work together, or spend a lot of time together, it’s kind of antagonist, but in a fun way, we could be friends, or even enemies, sometimes we might legitimately fight, but also, sometimes it looks like we might kiss” relationships between the male and female leads have always existed, and interviewers have always discussed them, and questioned the actors about them, and it ain’t got shit to do with anything fandom posts online.

Which is why the following excerpt annoyed tf out of me:

She’s also been made aware of the (seemingly) sizable group of Carmy-Sydney shippers that have appeared, rising from the Twitter mist to declare their allegiances to an imaginary romance. These fan theories are something of a pain point for Edebiri, who says she is grateful that people are so engaged with the show, but that it’s “frustrating.” She adds: “It’s really not our thought process when we’re making the show, and I understand it can be part of a show’s culture — but I don’t think they’re going to get what they want.” Gordon told THR that while she also doesn’t subscribe to the shipper theories, she believes it’s a testament to the work of Storer, White, and Edebiri that they’re able to create something so passionate. “I think it’s incredibly cool to have this dynamic onscreen that isn’t romantic, but that feels charged and sexy,” she said.

Narratively speaking, Edebiri isn’t actually sure that Carmy should be in a relationship with anyone (“It’s TV, do you want to see Walter White go to therapy and then reunite with his family?” she asks with a laugh), but admits that she can’t resist falling — platonically! — for the character’s complicated charms. “I love this little fucked up guy in the kitchen,” she says before quickly self-editing. “Or wait, this messed-up guy.” (The more she reads her own interviews, the more she sees her own explicit language: “I think I do it when I’m telling a joke, like I’m putting a swear in there to let you know I’m saying a joke — it’s something for me to reflect on.”)

At this point, I remember — and bring up — a tweet I saw recently, that drew a line between the many years that Succession fans spent caring (deeply) about the show’s (deeply) damaged men and the way they were able to quickly jump to the stage of “babygirlifying” the men of The Bear. She looks aghast, the parasocial implications a step too far even for someone from her inherently online cohort. “That is so Internet,” she manages, her expression a flash of the face-acting that has become a hallmark of her Emmy-nominated performance.

That entire passage was weird and not because of “fandom,” or because a fan got out of pocket, but because a journalist working in the entertainment industry forgot how to do their job, and it made an actress not give the answer (I’d like to think) she’d give if she’d been asked the standard question.

Whoever the hell worked at Entertainment Tonight back in the day: “So are David & Maddie finally going to get together this season?”

Bruce Willis, in 1986 probably: “Well, ET anchor, you’ll just have to watch and see” *winks at camera*

Is that a real quote? No. Is that exactly like something I’ve heard before. Yes. Like… this is not rocket science lol. I have seen a version of that question asked (and answered) hundreds of times throughout my entire life about various tv couples without making it a big weird thing, whether they bring up fans or not. Hell, the journalist could’ve said: “Will Syd & Carmy ever get together? Viewers are dying to know.” And it would’ve been fine, totally normal, but instead they wrote all that and made it as weird as possible, to what? Throw fandom culture and shipping under the bus I guess…

But, see, my beef with this, and situations like this one in particular is, this isn’t a shipping issue. This isn’t an interviewer springing a question on an actor about a fanon relationship that no person with a functioning brain or any sense of reality could ever think would go canon. This isn’t someone asking about something impossible, some MCU fanon ship that only the most delusional 12 year old in the world would think they were ever going to see date anywhere other than their own Google Doc.

Whether you like Syd/Carmy or think they have all the chemistry of a wet paper towel, realistically, you still know that them getting together isn’t something TPTB at their particular studio will never allow… they’re just something that hasn’t happened yet, that might never happened, but still, at this point, just hasn’t happened yet. Something that one of the leads refers to as a “charged and sexy” dynamic.

I don’t know how to break it to the interviewer or the segment of society that seems to have gotten amnesia, and forgotten one of the oldest tv tropes around, but a “charged and sexy dynamic” between two leads on a show that hasn’t yet ended is a… ding ding ding, you guessed it folks, a “will they, won’t they” dynamic.

And here’s the thing, most of The Bear’s viewers and probably most of the people who think Syd & Carmy would be cute together NEVER stick a toe in fandom, will never ever read a fanfic, might not even know what all fandom entails, they’re just like the boomer guy I see at the coffee machine sometimes, they enjoyed the show and think “Carmy & Syd would be good for each other” lmaooo. They watch it the way I watch The Good Wife lol. They don’t ship Carmy/Syd - they’ve literally never heard that word used like that before. And they’re definitely not about to engage with other fans online in any significant way, it’s a water cooler show for them… much like Cheers actually.

Soooo leave fandom and fans, and the tweets you saw on Twitter, and the fics that got posted on ao3 out of your questions… and out of your answers too, tbh. Because at the end of the day, if everyone was honest with themselves for five fucking seconds, Syd & Carmy don’t fall into the “will they, won’t they” category because some people involved in online fandom, in any capacity, posted anything on ao3, Tumblr, Twitter, or anywhere else. Fandom as we know it could have never existed, and an entertainment journalist would still be asking Ayo & Jeremy something related to the potential of their characters’ having a romantic relationship, and anyone who’s ever watched a television show before damn well knows it. So, stop framing it as questions you’re bringing up because of shipping nonsense from a crazy fandom, frame it the same way you would’ve in 1986, before Twitter, and leave fandom out of it. If people want to be pissy they need to save it for the fans @‘ing actors with nonsense, and the fans ready to riot over fanon ships they knew were never going to happen. But being mad at someone who sees the possibility of a Syd/Carmy pairing at this point would be like being mad at someone in 1993 for thinking Maxwell Sheffield and Nanny Fine might end up together…

Ijs… if you wouldn’t frame that person as crazy because they saw an “imaginary romance,” then maybe look deeper lol.

It seems like I’m picking on The Bear in this rambling mess lol, but they’re just a recent example, so I used them because I’m tired of people conflating two issues. Yes, asking actors shipping questions is weird… when you’re doing it about two characters, you, me, the milk man, the lady down the street and the man on the moon, all know will never get together. But… ummm no, a reporter asking Cybil Shepherd in 1985 if her & Bruce Willis’ characters would eventually be together actually wouldn’t have been weird, and I think everyone knew that back then, so I’m trying to figure out why people are pretending not to know it now.

Yes, some people in fandom are unhinged: acting nutsy bobos because their ship that truly was just a ship didn’t go canon, even though even the Scarecrow could’ve told them it wasn’t going to happen; seeing queerbait where there was never queerbait; contacting writers/actors/etc. directly with their thoughts, opinions, and fantasies 🤢, instead of DM’ing that mess to their cousin/sister/friend or sharing it on their blog (lol) like a normal person. However, sometimes, really, a lot of time, it’s not the fandom at all. In fact, the fandom be minding their own fucking business, and the journalists (and actors) wouldn’t even know about fandom stuff if they didn’t go poking around.

And other times, times like this one, stuff gets framed as being nutty shipper shit, when it’s just regular viewer shit. Because, again, no reporter ever waited until Niles and Daphne kissed on screen to ask either actor if their characters would ever get together, so I need this journalist and others like them to please spare me the bullshit of acting like the only reason they fixed their mouth to ask Ayo about the possibility of Syd/Carmy was because of some “shippers” and “their allegiances to an imaginary romance.”

There is only one reason I could see any entertainment journalist back in the day, pre-internet, not asking about the possibility of a romance between these two characters in particular, and it ain’t got shit to do with their dynamic.

But that’s another long ass rambling post for another slow work day lol.

Idk how to wrap this up other than to say, fans and fandoms as a whole are more visible now than ever before. And lately the behavior of some fans has been off the hook lol (though realistically I’d argue that some of that behavior is sometimes encouraged, in one way or another, by TPTB), but that doesn’t mean we have to overcorrect by blaming fandoms for things that they aren’t responsible for, and it really doesn’t mean that we have to start acting like online fan communities created things that have existed, long before the online fan community in question. Folks are so mad at all fandoms and all fans, they can’t even tell the difference between the musings of an obsessed stan & the general curiosities of a casual viewer, and it’s got honest to god journalists conflating rabid shipping discourse with “oh I think they’d be cute together,” and forgetting that casual viewers even exist and still have opinions, and it’s very very weird.

Bring Back Normal Interviews 2024 lol

ETA: You want to know what’s funny? As I’ve said before, I don’t even want them together lol. Syd is my fave, and I think Carmy is about to (unintentionally) ruin her life. But, still, I couldn’t bite my tongue, so to speak, because it really grinds my gears when a bunch of people expect me to sit back and pretend I don’t see the same themes and dynamics I’ve seen countless times, and pretend that I’m only seeing certain questions being asked because of fans on Twitter… even though we all know that’s not true 🙃

ETA Again: Since I referenced it more than once, I feel like it’s only fair to mention that Moonlighting is actually infamous for being the reason that a lot of times even when the chemistry is off the charts between two leads on a popular show, TPTB will refuse to put them together. The episode of Moonlighting where the two main characters finally got together was the most watched episode… but it was all downhill from there. It ruined the show according to everyone and their mamas lol (though that’s not entirely fair). Anyway, the tension and chemistry and buildup was suddenly gone, and the show was no longer fun. The story goes that viewers gave up on it, and it became a cautionary tale about how you should always make the “will they, won’t they” of it all last as long as possible, or your show might die lol

#the bear #sydcarmy #syd x carmy #i will probably delete this later #of course shipping questions are weird #but this was only a shipping question because of the interviewer #in general asking an actor about the romantic future of their character on a tv show isn’t weird… and it’s not a question of shipping #TYPICALLY #it only gets weird if the interviewer makes it weird

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kaiba-cave · 1 year

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I need to start saving up money to buy a house or something lmao my rental situation is stressing me tf out. Not that I have any money to spare to save, and I probably wouldn’t be able to get a mortgage even if I had enough saved for a down payment, pfft. Like I swear I didn’t have as many grey hairs before the basement flooded and all this shit happened as I do now.

If the basement had never flooded I’d still be perfectly happy down there but it’s now two months later and they’ve only just removed the damaged walls. Landlord’s wife is coming back April 26th and it definitely won’t be done by then, so I have to either find somewhere that’s short term or go to my mom’s house for who knows how long. And anyone who’s followed me for years knows how little I get along with my dad when we live together, so I’m dreading that. I’d almost rather stay in a hotel if they weren’t too expensive, except I have my cat and finding a pet friendly place is hard enough.

I was supposed to move into the main floor apartment but that lady decided she doesn’t want to leave. I don’t know if the landlord has a legitimate reason to evict her either because I know they don’t get along, but if you don’t have a legit reason you can’t just kick her out. 🤷‍♀️

Also this might be dumb but out of everything the thing I feel the worst about is that my cat loves it up here. I feel like super guilty that I’ve let her get used to a nice apartment with windows she can look out of, only to bring her back down to the basement eventually anyway. Is that stupid? lmao like I know she’s a cat and she’ll probably forget about it in a week once we’re back in the basement, but still. I’d gladly pay another $300 for an above ground apartment with windows just for her. Plus I’m just paranoid about it flooding again.

AND on top of everything the landlord mentioned how the basement apartment would be a bit more for rent once it was done and I didn’t say anything at that point because I thought I’d be going to the main floor so it wouldn’t matter, but as far as I’m aware a landlord can’t raise rent when they do renovations when the renovations were done because of damage. It’s not like I voluntarily moved out and am now going back, I was forced out and once the renovations are done I should have the exact same rent as before. So now I’m like ugh I’m going to have to confront them about that eventually. They’ve been good this whole time and I’m easygoing so we’ve gotten along really well and they won’t expect me to be like mmmm no, but I’m not paying more for rent when I shouldn’t have to. Unless they only raise it like $50 or something I might just let it be, but more than that, no.

I’m going to ask the insurance estimator who’s been kind of helping me out about that again just so I know for sure they can’t do that, because he knows what he’s talking about.

I’m just stressing tf out lmao I’ve actually gone and looked at two apartments. One was affordable but tiny (like probably the size as what I have in the basement, just with an extra wall so there’s technically a bedroom), and another today that was just meh, kind of old and bleh.

And since I live in the Niagara Region of Ontario it’s RARE to find anything less than $1200, and then half the time you also have to pay utilities, and unlike here internet wouldn’t be included either, which also isn’t cheap. And I’ve looked like cities away from where I am but there’s just nowhere cheap.

Too bad I can’t move across the border into Buffalo or Niagara Falls, NY, lmao. Some of those places are cheap af even for American dollars and I’m literally right across the river and paying like double what they are. Sigh.

And smaller issue but still something I think about, my couch (which was also my bed) got ruined and since I didn’t get any money from my insurance I can’t replace it. My Pa helped me buy it and I feel bad that it got wrecked after only having it for like two years. It was expensive too. So no matter where I end up I still need a bed or another sleeper couch.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

#text #long post sorry just venting

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obeiii-mee · 3 years

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Hey! Sorry to bother you with a second ask but i thought this one would be cool. Fluffy headcanons of the demon brothers watching scary movies with MC??? Somewhere MC gets scared, and some where they don't? Thanks again!! :)

It’s no bother!! I love getting requests from you guys! The more, the merrier. I sort of hc that the brothers and MC do have movie night every week or so and with them being demons, they tend to levitate towards the horror genre. Thank you for sending this, this is really cute :)))

Without further ado—-

————————————

The Brothers watching Scary movies with MC:

Lucifer:

-Haha mf already knows how this is going to end

-He warned you, he really did

-The horror movies DevilDom has to offer are nothing, and I mean nothing, like the ones from the human world

-I’m not going to go into detail but imagine Two Girls One Cup, in a less kinky and more gorey way (then times that by 10)

-But you were adamant into giving it a go and he literally could not deny you in that moment

-Because you were giving him the puppy eyes

-That’s like, the finishing blow you use every time to get your way with him and as far as you know it’s the only one that works so-

-He expected your reaction to the last second

-You were traumatised for lack of a better word and you were basically watching the whole film through the cracks between your fingers

-Seeing you in that state was like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t stop himself from throwing in a subtle ‘I told you so’

-“I told you watching something like this before bed is a bad idea, MC.”

-He might be a bit condescending and judgemental at first, but he’s probably going to baby you a bit for the rest of the night

-Because he feels bad he allowed you to watch it in the first place

-HAHAHAHA SOFT LUCIFER HAS BEEN SUMMONED, USE HIM WISELY

-He will start muttering words of comfort to you later because he’s certain you’re going to have trouble sleeping

-Because of that one time, he’s very hesitant to let you watch another horror film anytime soon

-But he will relent eventually (especially if you want to watch a human horror film as those are technically less extreme)

-If it makes you happy, he will go through with it, even if he has to let you cling onto him for the rest of the day

-Besides, the way you cuddle into him while you’re watching a horror film is very cute and endearing to him

Mammon:

-Ah yes, the most effective method of waking up the entire House of Lamentation at 3:00 am

-Mammon screaming his own vocal cords out in his room as he tries to get through his human’s favourite horror movie without dying of a heart attack

-It was his idea because he’s definitely the type to go: “Yeah let’s do this, it will be fun. Don’t get too scared alright MC? The Great Mammon will be here to protect ya.”

-And then ten minutes in, he’s basically in your lap

-Half an hour in, he turned himself into a demon burrito with his blankets

-You were enjoying the movie, laughing at the stupid sound effects and poor quality while Mammon next to you has wrapped himself in like two dozen blankets and pillows

-“Mammon you’re going to overheat.”

-“Don’t be silly human, I’m a demon who lives in hell. I can take high temperatures the same way I can take this damn movie!”

-He doesn’t take either of them well

-Mammon and the horror genre don’t mix well together to begin with

-So even if you might enjoy horror, he doesn’t react well to it at all

-And he’ll be low-key relieved if you tell him you guys don’t have to watch any sort of horror film for your date night

-“Well I guess if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to. Can’t make my human do something they’re uncomfortable with eh?”

-But if you do watch a scary movie with him, be sure to show any sort of physical affection to him as often as possible

-You don’t have to say anything, just hold his hand or let him put his head in your lap or something

-It might stop him from screeching like a female sloth in heat

-The last time that happened, his brothers weren’t too pleased with him

-They about to recreate the horror film scenes onto him, bring the popcorn have fun

Levi:

-For some reason, I feel like he doesn’t get scared easily while watching stuff

-I mean, after decades of obsessively watching animes with brutal character deaths (like Attack on Titan style) and grotesque horror games that are pretty nasty even to demons, let alone humans;

-A horror film, from the human world or even DevilDom, doesn’t do much for him

-It will have to have very good psychological horror in it if you want the hairs on his arms to stand up in anticipation

-Tension is a big deal for him and he will immediately shut off the TV if there are any cheap jump scares

-But, if you manage to find just the right thing for him?

-You’ll both be hiding under the bed in no time under the bathtub more like

-Hell, if the film you’re watching is that good, he might even be holding onto you for dear life without realising it and getting flustered about it

-For weeks afterwards, any sound that is remotely similar to one from that movie will probably send both of you into panic

-You came to his room one night because you’ve had a nightmare about the stupid film and legitimately thought there was a fucking demon serial killer in your room

-So you wanted to stay in his

-“But what if there is a serial killer in your room and now you just led it to me MC????”

-It’s all jokes, there’s no question he would lock both of you in his room and then stay there with you wide awake until dawn

-You’re his best friend after all, he would have to be completely heartless to leave you on your own! (Besides Levi is terrifying when he wants to be)

-One time you were sleeping over and the sound of fumbling woke you tf up

-And Levi immediately turned into his demon form, like he was ready to throw hands with this fictional murderer that supposedly sneaked into his room

-“DON’T WORRY MC, I’LL PROTECT YOU!”

-“Ah never mind, it’s just Mammon breaking into your room again to steal your Ruri-Cham figurines and sell them on Akuzon.”

-“Oh OK.”

-“.....”

-“WAIT MAMMON WTF YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG, GET OUT OF MY ROOM-“

-I’m playing Minecraft

Satan:

-Believe it or not, Satan doesn’t care much about horror movies

-Don’t get me wrong, he loves watching his brothers shit their pants out of fear in the middle of one while he silently smirks to himself because watching other people suffer brings him euphoria

-Especially if someone actually manages to find a film that is excellent enough to spook Lucifer, because then he will be cackLING

-But, overall, he watches a lot of shows revolved around drama and crime

-That’s his thing

-However, he won’t turn you down if you’re up to watching a scary movie with him

-Any time spent with you is valuable time seeing as it won’t be long before his brothers start hogging you again like the cockblockers they are

-He is honestly surprised to find out you seem to be rather amused by those sort of movies

-So, even if it’s not inherently something he does on the regular, he would definitely watch a scary film with you if you enjoy them that much

-But in exchange, he makes you promise to read with him until bedtime rolls around (imagine Lucifer having a fucking curfew for his brothers and you lmao)

-So for the rest of night you guys just read together, ya know, like sappy romantics

-Tbh, this man will do almost anything with you as long as both of you are having fun

-He knows it’s not likely, but he insists on sleeping in the same room that night just in case you have nightmares and he needs to comfort you

- :)

-Satan is a gentleman. Idk how many people that don’t play OM expected to hear this

Asmo:

-Why would you want to watch a movie when you could be watching him???

-I mean, you would rather watch all that gory stuff on the TV than his beautiful face?

-He may get salty over a fucking movie tbh

-Horror films aren’t something he generally looks for while trying to pick a movie to watch

-He can definitely handle them better than Mammon but it’s not something he takes great pleasure in watching

-But the first time he ever sits down with you to watch one, he’s very intrigued to see your reactions

-You started feeling the sensation of absolute dread creep in at the very beginning and you were trying your best to act like you weren’t getting affected by what you saw on the screen

-But you were

-You went from “I’m grown ass adult, I can watch a fucking horror movie, no problem.”

-To “Welp, not enough of a grown ass adult for this-“

-And Asmo thought the way you tried to hide your nervousness was very mesmerising in a way

-He was planning on flirting with you during the movie anyway, but now that you were pressing himself against him?

-Oh boy, Oh boy

-“Darling if you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just said so. Making the excuse of watching a movie is unnecessary.”

-Nightmares? What nightmares? You won’t have time to have nightmares ;)

-haHAHA funny inappropriate joke

-It’s Asmo, it’s mandatory to have at least one of those added in here

Beel:

-Beel will show up if there’s food and that’s that

-He doesn’t care what type of movie is playing on the TV as long as he has a bucket of popcorn next to him at all times

-Horror films aren’t something he can’t handle, he’s a demon like the rest of his brothers and he is used to...violent deaths and such

-He doesn’t get scared but there are times where he gets attached to the characters

-Especially movies with actual good and not cringeworthy dialogue

-Therefore, when they die, he gets sad even if they’re just fictional and their death had no real impact

-He also thinks that the way you can watch these things without flinching is impressive

-I mean, he can watch it and so can his brothers because they are demons

-They’ve done worse things than the things you see in horror films

-But you’re a human! So it’s weird to see you watch a person get repeatedly slammed against a wall until their neck snaps without batting an eyelid

-Overall, he does not have an opinion on scary movies

-He gets a bit emotional when a character he really liked dies

-But other than that, he’s just focused on eating

-And occasionally patting your head affectionately

Belphie:

-He doesn’t really like horror films because there’s a lot of screaming and tense music and he’s just trying to nap in your lap (rhyme)

-He doesn’t really need sound effects like that in the background while he’s trying to sleep

-But one day he was like “Hey, what if I show my favourite human this particular scary film?”

-And he did

-And he’s internally dying and feeling guilty and yet so flustered because of you

-It’s like you suddenly turn into this very fidgety and anxious mess and he thinks you just look....cute

-At some point you were getting overwhelmed and sprung up on your feet to turn the lights on

-And he just grabbbed your wrists, pulled you down next to him and let you press your head against his chest

-As mentioned, he’s a little shit and will tease you for being such a scaredy cat

-“That was the most predictable jumpscare and you still flinched, wth is wrong with you lmao.”

-But at the same time....

-“Relax. It’s just a horror movie. You’ll be fine. Besides, I’m here. Like I would let something bad happen to you.”

-That’s sweet, even if the tone of voice may not imply it because he’s such a brat-

-He actually really likes holding you for once, because usually he’s the little spoon

-He’s still a bit of a sadist so I imagine him sitting there and watching this while giggling to himself

-Isn’t he the cutest, laughing at other people’s misery and their never ending suffering?🥺🥺🥺 UwU

-Ah well, at least he has the decency to spoil with affection afterwards and make sure you have no nightmares that night

-You know, as payback for the horrific shit he made you watch with no warning

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OK, I think I made a decent job of this even though it took longer than it actually was meant to. Thank you for reading though. I’ve got so many requests to go through and I’ve been feeling motivated lately so yeah!

See you soon

Al~

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #watching scary movies #obey me shall we date #☂️ demon brothers #⭐️ requests #🌸 comfort #💳 mammon supremacy #I love him I’m sorry

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obxfics · 3 years

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puppybowl sunday

summary: you spend the day cuddled up watching the puppy bowl

pairing: john b x reader x jj

word count: 1654

a/n: i got inspiration watching the puppy bowl so... here we are lol also when tf is season 2 coming i want more motivation to write and shit please anyways enjoy (also this could technically belong to the “you against the world” universe but also... idk where it would fit lmao so if you want to imagine it like that have at it)

Masterlist

john b groaned as something woke him up. he had been deep in sleep, something he appreciated considering how many late night grocery or food runs he had to do for the residents of figure eight, when he felt someone shift as they laughed. he blearily opened his eyes to see you, sitting up with your back against his headboard and one of his arms flung across your waist, frozen with your hand clapped over your mouth. obviously you hadn't been meaning to laugh that hard.

"what are you doin' up so early?" he rasped, his voice kinda scratchy from sleep.

you smiled down at him and ran a hand through his thick hair, giggling when your fingers got all tangled up in it. "hon, it's two in the afternoon."

he lifted his head real quick and pouted when he saw that jj wasn't included in the cuddle pile. "shit, did i miss jj going off to work?"

"mhm. don't worry, though, i got some food into him and made sure he was wearing his mask. also put the fear of god into him if he didn't wash his hands throughout the day."

john b breathed out a laugh as he imagined you yelling at jj to stay safe at work. almost a year into the pandemic, and jj and john b had spent the whole time quaranting in the chateau to the best of their ability. it had been months since they had seen kie or pope in person for longer than a few minutes, and usually that was only when john b pulled up to the wreck to pick up delivery orders or when jj and john b helped pope's dad with grocery deliveries. at the beginning of everything, you had been spending quarantine with your boys since school was all online and your parents' restaurant was closed. a month or so in, however, regulations had been lifted and the people of figure eight all but demanded for them to reopen, and so you went back home to help your parents with the restaurant and to keep jj and john b safe from anything you could have possibly brought back to them.

you had practically locked them in the chateau, leaving them threatening voicemails if they even thought about going out, but as two months turned into three turned into four turned into five, you realized that the boys needed their jobs as there seemed no end in sight to the pandemic. so jj returned to his job at the country club, and john b got a job busing tables at your family's restaurant. you moved back in to quarantine with them as school started, and you spent practically your whole savings on getting a backup generator and high speed wifi for the chateau so if anything happened, you all would be good. and, despite living through a worldwide panda express, you were quite happy.

beside you, john b shifted his head to rest on your lap so he could see what you were watching on your laptop that had you laughing so hard. a smile grew on his face when he saw the puppies running around on the "football field" and jumping all over the "ref." he looked up at you and felt his chest blossom with warmth at the way you smiled at the puppies and giggled when they flopped over.

"did you really wake me up watching the puppy bowl?"

"hush up," you laughed, "it's a tradition, and you know it. 'sides, you can't tell me you aren't enjoying this as much as i am. i've seen how you and jj get with dogs. y'all may love them more than you love me."

"aw, honey, that's not true," john b cooed. "you know how much we love you. obviously i love you more since i didn't go to work during the puppy bowl, but you know, that's to be expected."

you shook your head and lightly swatted at his stomach. you knew he wasn't being serious. john b loved jj just as much as he loved you, and the feeling was mutual from jj. the three of you had a good thing going, a relationship full of understanding and compassion, and it had taken y'all a long time to get there. you all had things to work through, like jj's daddy issues, john b's abandonment issues, and your trauma from your previous relationship with rafe cameron, but you had gotten through it together, and this quarantine had actually brought y’all closer together which had surprised everyone.

“jj’s gonna be sad that he missed it,” you sighed.

“we’ll just rewatch it with him,” john b assured you. “and we can watch the old ones too.”

there was shuffling as the both of you wriggled around to get into a more comfortable position. at one point the two of you had to lunge to catch the laptop from falling to the floor, but eventually you settled in with john b curled around you and the blankets and pillows providing a sort of nest and elevated stand for the laptop. the room was filled with the soft sounds of puppy barks and whines, and your giggles when one of the dogs did something particularly cute, and john b let out a quiet sigh as he allowed himself to relax against you.

“i think we should get a dog,” you mumbled sleepily as john b clicked on last year’s broadcast. “we can add another cutie to our cuddle pile.”

there was some incoherent whining on your part before you dozed off in his arms. he did his best to focus on the puppies on the screen, but soon he too fell asleep with his face buried in the crook of your neck. that was how jj found you two when he stumbled into the room later that night as he yanked his tie from his neck. he stilled in the doorway, a soft smile pulling at his lips when he saw the two people he loved most in the world all snuggled up together. and then he saw what was pulled up on the laptop.

“oh you assholes!”

the both of you jolted awake, your hand smacking john b in the face as you moved to make sure the laptop wouldn’t fall off the bed. john b rubbed at his eyes and turned to blink up at jj.

“hey, how was work, babe?”

jj shook his head as you rolled over and made grabby hands, obviously asking for cuddles. he put his hands on his hips and frowned down at the pair of you.

“i cannot believe y’all are watching the puppy bowl without me.”

“um... in my defense,” john b started, “they were already watching when i woke up.”

“dude!” you turned your head to scowl at your boyfriend. “jj, baby, come cuddle with us, and we can turn it back on.”

as he kicked his shoes off and rifled around the dresser for comfy clothes, jj shook his head. john b let out a laugh when he realized what he was getting at.

“no can do, babe,” jj told you, smirking at john b as he let his work shirt slide off his shoulders. “the superbowl starts soon, and we’re watching it.”

you fell back on the bed and let out a loud groan. you had been hoping the boys would be too tired to watch the football game. you lifted yourself up on your elbows and glared at the two of them.

“i am legitimately only watching your stupid sportsball for the weeknd. after that i will be passing the fuck out.”

jj laughed and wrapped his arms around you as he flopped down between you and john b. you couldn’t keep your glare on your face when you felt your cheek hit his bare chest. you had missed him all day. there were a few laughs and giggled--and a couples groans of pain--as the three of you got all comfortable on the queen sized bed. finally you and john b sandwiched jj, john b spooning the blonde boy as you nestled in within the warmth of jj’s arms.

“don’t he kiss his kid on the mouth?” you mumbled as one of the players ran out on the field.

a wheeze left jj’s chest as john b shouted his laugh out, causing you to smirk. you had absolutely no clue as to what was happening in the game, or even had any idea as to who the teams were, because like you told the boys, you were only watching for the weeknd concert, and you were getting more and more anxious waiting for it.

“wait, i thought both teams were supposed to be good. why does one team already have like three touchdowns and the other doesn’t have any?”

“honey,” john b said, attempting to hold in his laugh, “just watch and enjoy the game.”

you rolled your eyes, making jj smile fondly. “hon, how am i supposed to enjoy a game i don’t even understand?”

“do you want us to explain?” jj offered sweetly.

“absolutely not. i appreciate it, baby, but i’m too pretty for that.”

jj snickered and pressed a kiss into your hair. “of course you are, babe.”

you nuzzled your nose against his collarbone and tugged your hand from between the boys to gently scratch at john b’s scalp. a hum rumbled deep within the brunette’s chest at the action.

“i love y’all,” you whispered into jj’s skin. “even if y’all make me watch football.”

“well we love you too,” jj returned with a kiss to your cheek and john b’s arm.

“even if you make us watch the weeknd,” john b teased.

“hey! you better appreciate abel or i swear i’m moving out!”

taglist (ahaha heyyy it’s been a while so tell me if y’all want to be removed): @damndunner @scandalousfemale @shawnssongs @kikifromtheblock @write-from-the-heart @kurtsconner @thatjohnd @abbiesthings @heavenlymama @strangerthanfiction713 @alexis-marrt022 @brithedemonspawn @obxsummer

#outer banks #outer banks netflix #outer banks imagine #outer banks x reader #john b routledge #john b x reader #john b routledge x reader #john b #obx netflix #sarah obx #obx imagine #obx x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #john b x jj #john b routledge x jj #jj x john b x reader

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sergeant-angels-trashcan · 3 years

Text

canNOT decide which version of “Harry Wilson actually already knows Kate Bishop, thanks anyway” i like more:

Harry was one of Derek Bishop’s attorneys and he’s actually the one who cut Kate off

variations on “Harry worked for Derek”

he calls her now that he’s a good guy to talk to her about her dad’s company, he’s thinking of seeing if Leverage will go after Derek next, and he asks her to meet up with him

at like, an abandoned warehouse or something super sketch like that

and Kate says sure, but she’s ALSO not stupid, so she calls David and asks if he’ll go with her

David Hardison says yeah, his babes are going to be in New York that week so he’ll be able to spend time with them!!

They meet in the super sketchy warehouse and Harry’s all “Hardison? What are you doing here?” and Hardison is all “why the hell are you calling my friend Kate,” and Kate’s all “David why the hell do you know my dad’s asshole lawyer”

a hiLARious misunderstanding

Harry finds out Kate is Hawkeye and he’s like. okay. okay. i need a minute. i need to find someplace to sit down. you’re saying you could have sniped me at any moment, i just, i need a minute

if this is KateQuinn then Quinn goes with her, OBVIOUSLY

and Eliot goes with Harry because Harry lets slip he’s meeting up with someone who probably doesn’t like him very much

Eliot and Quinn are both checking the perimeter and run into each other. they start fighting before they realize who they are

and then it’s lots of back slapping and “dude!”

Eliot rolls his eyes so hard when he finds out Harry is here to see Kate

if he’d been less secrety, they could have had this meeting somewhere with less water damage

harry has a lil crush on quinn

PERHAPS Kate goes to meet Harry, but this time she’s bringing her OWN lawyers, Matt and Foggy, who Harry ALSO knows

and he’s just like, fuck, fuck, i CANNOT catch a break

OR. Leverage is working an unrelated gig and Kate just happens to be at the party they are at to work the mark

Harry and Kate lock eyes and she. the look she gives him. it’s a MURDER look.

and harry’s just like shit shit shit. i think she knows i helped her dad put a hit on an avenger. how does she know.

Eliot intercepts her before she gets to Harry because Kate can legitimize the con and she’s helped them before

Kate realizing Harry is on the earbuds and straight up threatening him with murder when she’s done

MattKate version where they’re at the party and Matt can tell Harry has the earbud in and tells Kate it’s David’s team

Kate stalks up to Harry and says something to the effect of “say hi to david for me” and Eliot and Parker start freAKIng out because yay!!! kate!!!

they tell Harry what to say so Kate doesn’t deck him and ruin the con

at some point Eliot goes “i think Kate’s lawyer boyfriend is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen”

“the BLIND LAWYER?”

“it’s a very distinctive stance!”

Harry realizes he not only helped Derek put a hit on an avenger but also his own daughter and harry has a meltdown

they’re running the info on their next job, which is bishop publishing, and Kate walks in, sees Harry, LAUNCHES herself at him, and decks him

cut to harry with a bag of frozen peas against his face while Eliot tries not to laugh

Harry put together the prenup for Derek and wife #5 and went to the wedding. He had the good fortune to sit next to Kate who was guessing how long the marriage would last and how much everything cost like “these super ugly floral arrangements could have funded the meal programs in three schools”

kate kind of hates everything, so harry asks why she even came?

she wanted to glare at her dad the whole night. just enough to make him and the bride uncomfortable

“she’s my age. that’s very ew.”

“to be fair, she’s almost thirty, once you hit thirty age differences are less--”

“i know how old she is, we graduated high school together.”

“ah, yep. ew.”

the wedding was held at an art museum or something

kate: i know someone who stole this painting once.

harry: ha. ha. ok.

somehow convinced harry to steal some champagne and go into an off limits area to play beer pong with champagne

“i didn’t go to college right after high school, this is what college is like, yeah?”

“it is absolutely not”

he says something about her inheritance and she snorts. she’s not in the will.

harry thinks he could probably write her back into it and no one would know

he’s impressed she has her own business

she’s not impressed he works for her dad

he humblebrags about his daughter

kate: u know what would piss my dad off

harry: i do not.

kate:

harry: no. absolutely no. nope.

kate: :(

they keep running into each other

kate sneaks into her dad’s new year’s eve party (she was not invited)

she’s planning on stealing some data from him. like crime data

harry has no idea she wasn’t invited, he’s just like “thank fuck someone fun”

at midnight they do the “should we?” awkward shoulder bob thing and give each other a respectful lil smooch

people start to leave and Kate has to bounce before her dad notices her

Harry of course is all “i should walk you home or to a cab, it’s late, who knows what could happen”

which to Kate is the equivalent of a puppy barking at a vacuum

anyway at some point they probably make out

and then Kate realizes Harry’s a sketchy kind of lawyer and nopes out immediately

cut to a year later, Eliot’s telling the team that Hawkeye is going to be joining them on this job for some unspecified reason

everyone is mildly insulted at how surprised Harry is that they know an Avenger

Breanna is SO EXCITE. She temped for Kate one time and they accidentally blew up some dickbag’s bitcoin mining operation because he was stealing electricity from a poor neighborhood

to clarify, FINDING the guy was an accident, the explosion was planned

Alec had given them his “i’m very disappointed” face when he found out. apparently Kate is immune to that face

but the whole point of working with kate was to not do crime so alec was all “no more temp for you”

but basically everyone knows which Hawkeye Eliot is talking about and they’re all really excited and don’t worry, Harry, Hawkeye is cool

and in comes Kate

she and Harry see each other and freeze all YOU

and of course EVERyone in that room either knows how to read people or is being trained to read people so they’re all going oH WHAT. WHAT. SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH THE TWO OF YOU OH OHHHHH

“what are you doing here, sketchy-ass lawyer man?”

“it’s mr. sketchy ass lawyer man to you, and what do you mean what am i doing here, what are you doing here?”

“so i guess you two know each other,” Eliot says

“yeah???” goes kate “he’s one of my dad’s douchebag lawyers!”

“ex douchebag lawyer.”

eventually it gets to harry going “wait, I thought hawkeye was coming?” and all of the rest of leverage going “she’s Here!” and waving in Kate’s direction

Harry is quiet for a minute and then is like “i guess that’s why you laughed at me when i offered to walk you home on new year’s”

“i didn’t MEAN to laugh”

OR Harry represented Derek against Kate

OR Harry was originally Kate’s council as part of Derek Bishop’s team of lawyers, and then when Kate realized her dad was a criminal it became Harry’s job to make her go away and stop causing a ruckus so Kate’s only reason for agreeing to help is on the off chance she gets to punch him

harry comes in to meet their newest client and is all ???? the fuck is that vapid heiress doing here, how does someone like her warrant our help

and of course kate is like, tf is that asshole doing here, mr hey-derek-let’s-hide-some-of-your-money-offshore like THAT’s not super sus

at some point he sees her and eliot sparring and harry just. bluescreens. does not compute.

he never had to deal with kate personally but stories about her are legendary, she’s the WORST kind of young money. reckless spending. drinks like the world is going to end. will snort anything.

and here she is. an actual superhero. who apparently uses partying as a cover for vigilantism. and knows how to fool a breathalyzer into thinking she’s drunk when she’s not

he feels bad for whoever her legal council is now. imagine having to deal with that.

turns out he’s her legal council now. whoops.

someone points out that they’re all sort of vigilantes

and someone--either Parker or Kate--goes, “we’re not vigilantes, we’re a vigilanTEAM”

harry has the most profound moment of “were it not for the laws of this land i would have slaughtered you where you stand” he’s ever had in his life

#leverage #leverage redemption #kate bishop #hawkeye #young avengers #harry wilson #our mr. wilson #david alleyne #alec hardison #eliot spencer #mr. quinn #obsessed with this idea

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bumackerman · 3 years

Text

DEAR ADULT READERS/CREATORS,

18+ (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

^ see that? there is absolutely no way you missed that disclaimer if you understand the proper way to read english. but, let’s say you did miss it... here’s this message;

if you are under the age of 18, do not interact with 18+ adult accounts, or content.

there. hopefully you got the memo. if not, then i guess, one day, you’ll have the great opportunity to be featured in this brand new series of exposing, purging, and reporting minors! i mean... yay you?

disclaimer!; do not send any unnecessary hate to any of these people! it does not solve anything, and it could get you in trouble. just report, and block. thanks.

featured today, we have (drumroll please)... @/matching-with-my-demons!

warning: this post is very long!

alright, so i don’t actually know for sure if he’s necessarily a minor, but i do know that he’s been lying his age, and many, many other details about his life, leading to him getting caught by yours truly.

from this point forward, i will be reciting a briefed account of what exactly happened from a collective point of view of all of the victims involved.

I. beginning.

so, (and i think all of the people involved can agree,) this person is a flirt. automatically. just giving everyone pet names, talking about doing stuff with us, role playing with us, you know. nothing too extreme. i wasn’t suspicious of him at this point. i mean, i was sure he was 18+. to be fair, he did mention that he was 21 turning 22. why wouldn’t we believe him? he was speaking like an adult.

II. little lies & suspicion.

now, i’m not saying that this is impossible, but at multiple times during our conversations, he’d mentioned that he was was fluent in seven languages. seven. it’s not entirely impossible, but you’d think that if english wasn’t someone’s first (of many) languages, they’d have some sort of accent, right?

not only that, but he stated that he was six years old when he moved to america from japan, and he hasn’t moved since. i know, i know, yeah, cool he knows a lot of languages, and he’s a foreigner. yadda, yadda. get to the point.

he said that he was of asian descent, and that his parents were both japanese, and they lived in japan their whole lives. where the hell is he learning all of these extra languages at the young age of 21?

if japanese is his first language, we can cut out the time needed to become fluent in it. next, i’m ignoring english, as he would’ve had from the age of 6 to 21 to become fluent in it, but somehow he claimed he wasn’t? (let’s not mention the obvious fake misspellings and misunderstandings of simple words.) how on earth would he have become fluent in (at least) five other languages in middle school-high school?

OTHER LITTLE LIES N DETAILS

- he claimed that he was a 6’7, 21 year old (cis) male.

- said he was a stripper, bartender, and a sex worker (we’ll come back to that later).

- sent a picture of “his” chest, but it was 100% from google or some shit.

- (not judging anyone who does) he said that his body count was 74, but literally no one asked?

- he texted us when he “got another body” tf? we don’t care. carry on, i guess. (said he went on for like 7 rounds but... what?)

- talked about getting a vibrator stuck in his ass n his roommate had to get it out for him, but once again, nobody asked. °-°

- said he could bench 200 lbs. not impressive, just thought it was worth mentioning.

- said he had the same birthday as bakugou, which, okay.. (4/20)

- he made multiple channels in the server where he could roleplay with certain people, which, i, and a couple other people never used.

III. the voice chat.

after a while of all of us messing around, the conversation started to get heated, and some of us were teasing him, including me. we decided to get on voice chat (his idea), and he started talking into the mic. all of us were very confused, as he did not at all sound like a giant of a grown man.

but, despite this, we all warily continued, until he left the call. when he left, everyone who was participating voiced their current concerns, and laughed out our nervousness. that is, until he re-joined and everyone muted. he continued doing what he was doing until he “broke character”, stating he was a voice actor and it was hard to keep up that voice because it hurt his throat. i would’ve believed him if he didn’t sound the exact same as he did when he was “in character”.

after that, we were a lot more concerned and on edge about his identity, and i started to focus more on the shit he was telling us, hoping to find out who the fuck this person really was. i stopped interacting with him in a nsfw way, and mostly observed what he was saying, just watching from the sidelines.

II. the pictures.

captions:

not only do the skin colors just not match up, the hands in each picture are totally different people. even if you take into account the lighting differences, the undertones should still be the same. these pictures are fake.

if you look at the fingers, you can see that the ones on the right are flatter, and shorter. if the hand on the left were to hold that phone, it would wrap all the way around the device.

from a common sense standpoint, we know that our palms are always lighter than our skin tone. the fact that the hand on the left is still darker, proves that these are different people. (not that we needed proof.)

also, if this guy is so muscular, why can he only bench 200lbs? and why is his wrist so skinny?

+ to me, the phone, (right image) and the quality of the picture, looks like a black iphone 4s. from what i can see, at least. meaning, if i’m correct, that picture is majorly outdated.

for both pictures, he flipped the image so that we wouldn’t be able to find it by just by reverse image searching. luckily, one of the people involved was able to figure that out, and told me immediately.

III. ID check.

like i said before, a lot of us were starting to get really suspicious, but at this point, i thought i was the only one that was sketched out, so i issued another ID check.

(be sure to click on the pictures. one of them is really long. also, when reading, read the date and times that messages are sent. i was trying to lighten the mood and be nice, but it was honestly so offensive that he thought i was legitimately dumb.)

so, obviously, these ID’s are fake. not only are the pictures the exact same, but the backgrounds are the same, the outfits are the same, the names are totally fake, and just, wow. i don’t really know how he thought that was gonna slip past me.

after i called both him, and @/yourmajesty-theking out, he went into his own discord and started ranting to some of the other people involved that he was freaking out because he didn’t have his ID.

remember how i said that he mentioned he was a stripper/bartender/sex worker? why the fuck don’t you have your ID on you if you claimed you were at work that day? you can’t get in without it. °-° just- everything he was saying didn’t come together cleanly. the timeline is all sorts of fucked up.

you can’t drive without an ID, how are you getting to work? you can’t get into a strip club without an ID, how are you getting in? you can’t serve alcohol without and ID, how are you a bartender? you can’t get an apartment without an ID, how are you living with a roommate?

he told us that he moved to america with his PARENTS, and somehow his grandmother is in america now? when did that happen? if you’re gonna lie, at least make it believable.

IV. conclusion.

anyway, do what you want with this information. the people in the discord all agreed that based off his voice and the evidence, that he couldn’t have been older than 15, and at most, 16.

though he hasn’t deactivated his account, the last time he was active was april 7, 2021 at 12:39am (EST) he claims he lives in cali, so i don’t know what time that is there.

thanks for reading. i’m sure i missed a lot of stuff, but for now, this is all i could put together. also, lmk if there are any spelling errors. i’m too tired to check.

like i said, if i get any hate for calling out a minor, you will be blocked/reported, and i will not hesitate to turn anons off for the time being. besides, saying dumb shit doesn’t affect me. just makes me laugh.

- bum <3

#18+ (mdni)#🍓. bum’s purge ࿐

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dolokhoded · 3 years

Note

you asked for headcanon ideas and ohh boy do i have ✨several✨ (all of these are ralbert kshdjebe)

punk!albert and dancer!race (modern)

hockey!ralbert au (modern)

how race and al got together (canon era)

the SPEED at which i started to write this. it's not funny, it's NOT. FUNNY. plz i love when people give me ralbert stuff they're the absolute most fun to write e v e r, i am starved of ralbert. let's fuckin do all.

i concluded i need to do these in seperate posts if i want this post to not be 8 feet long bc,,, ralbert just gets my brain gears working

Punk!Albert + Dancer!Race

im doing this in high school au because why tf not, let's fuckin go

albert

albo

he's not a bad guy, he's actually the sweetest

but because this is high school, and kids are assholes, and he's already a little nonchalant which might come off as mean sometimes, he's not the most liked person to ever live

doesn't really mind, he has his friends, he has sarah and jojo and tommy and elmer

he's fine

soon he'll graduate and people will leave him alone anyways, so he just goes with it and minds his business

until this bitch comes along,,

you know that kid we all had in high school who was some sort of athlete and always go to competitions and won a shit ton of medals and was just,,,,, so good at what they do

that's race

race is a dancer, has been since he was little and he's absolutely that bitch

everyone knows him because there's constantly announcements about him winning some big important shit, probably has about a trillion dance schools offering him scholarships, basically a professional before he can even have a legitimate profession.

and eventually– and inevitably, since i decide what happens here– they become the cliche trope of lab partners

albert's all "ok cooperate so we can get this done and each go our sweet separate ways, i know you'd rather be over there with romeo or crutchie or whoever"

but race is absolutely fascinated with this kid

and he decides to stick around!!

albert's like wait what the fuck

but he slowly warms up to race and race finds he's just,, so perfect

like yea he knew he was attractive he's not blind, and he could tell he was really cool but albert's so incredible, he's funny and he cares so much and they're just drawn to each other

one day race is practicing and albert's just sitting down on the side of the room doing algebra and waiting for him

and it's rare he ever gets to see race dance like that, completely for himself, not caring about any scores or audience and he looks so carefree and he just djjjtjkskykk

so when race crouches in front of him and asks if he's ready to go he just

pulls him in and gives him a little kith

and race is shook because holy fuckin f u c k shit

albert pulls away and race just

"no wtf come here >:( another plz"

so that's how albert ended up with the world's most tactile boyfriend

plz this bitch

"geez ive been dancing all afternoon im so tired"

"mmhhmh yeah"

"like,,,,,,, wow im tired. i shouldn't have overworked myself."

"what do you want race"

"carry me plz plz?"

albert does it. cause unfortunately, he loves him.

"you know you can just ask, right? like you've been dancing all your life you're not even tired."

race knows that albert knows that. he's just dramatic like that.

race will absolutely flaunt his punk bf at every given opportunity and fuck everyone else

if you think albert has ever missed one of his performances you're so wrong

wait did i just write sk8er boy

he was a punk he did ballet-

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SK8ER BOY

AVRIL MY QUEEN

#HE WAS A SKATER BOY HE SAID SEE YOU LATER BOY #HSHAHDHAHSH #ANYWAYSSSS THANK U FOR FEEDING ME RALBERT BLESS YOUR SOUL #imma go do the other two #becausssssse #lol #newsies #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #ralbert #newsies hcs

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elfyourmother · 3 years

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but I think what wigged me out so badly about est/ysayle was how gross and heteronormative it always seemed to be whenever I would run across it in the tags. it was always “lol they fight bc they secretly wanna fuck” which always gets my back up w m/f shops, and inordinately focused on the ~star-crossed tragedy~ w a lot of going on and on about her dying in a way that felt very much like textbook Woman in Refrigerator Syndrome

I’m sure there were folks who weren’t weird and vaguely misogynistic about it but since I never actively sought it out, I had this sort of thing shoved in my face just desperately trying to find any content w her which made me resent it that much more. I just wanted stuff where she was happy or doing shit besides being a tragically beautiful corpse to make Estinien sad and fueling his character development or wevs. and looking back on it, I think my original hc for her as a hard Kinsey 6 was almost entirely rooted in contrarian bitterness over all this. It was my way to shake my fist and push back against it. I don’t think it was so much that I legitimately saw her as a lesbian (and there are faves I do—Lyse 100%, Alisaie, and before then Tali in ME among others) as declaring her one was the easiest way to sidestep all that bullshit I didn’t like, while firmly centering her in her own story w/o everything being about a man, even one I love to death,

(and some of it too I think was internalized biphobia and a little bit of lingering fandom respectability politics from the BW bad old days. feeling like I was Bad for constantly writing all of my faves as bi, especially the ladies, and feeling like I was morally obligated in some way to put more lesbian rep in my fic bc otherwise I’m a bad wlw. it absolutely does not help that there are followers who do not at engage w anything I write or create except the f/f content, and I’m always afraid I’m not doing enough for them. also a contributing factor: the rash of “why tf is everything about shipping and romance” posts that were flying across my dash near daily for a while, that made me feel like even beyond everything else, emphasizing Estinien and Ysayle’s platonic metamour relationship re: the V with Gisele as the shared point was Proper, because then I wasn’t contributing to the problem and being a dumb slut for romance like I always am. note how what I actually want or need from my fic or what I think is fun or fulfilling to write was nowhere near this list of priorities and concerns! how fucked is that?)

what caused such a hard 180 on it? it was always tenuous tbh, I just never talked about it. Ysayle always had gobs of chemistry with Haurche any time I wrote her with him, unintentionally so, and I always felt really guilty about it. That should have been the first sign that I wasn’t being authentic w my work but...I just tried to ignore it

but one thing in particular set it off real bad, and I realized this really wasn’t fun. So sitting down and really thinking about all this, and talking through it with Dandy, made me realize that no actually there’s nothing wrong with interpreting Ysayle differently if it worked better. From there, once stripped of all the bullshit, I realized there was actually nothing inherently squicky to me about Est/Ysayle. and constantly pounding the “she’s like a sister to me!” drumbeat was starting to feel like protesting too much. when I gave myself permission to just set all the nonsense aside and consider it in the context of Gisele’s story, it was like my heart burst with rainbows. It’s not that Gisele and the lads were somehow incomplete without Ysayle, but they all feel so right together, that much more than the 4 + 1.

it works well for me in my verse because Ysayle lives as a start, which avoids the fridging, but even more than that, she has agency and her own reasons for joining the Scions, and she has her own distinct character arc that has very little to do with Estinien—she’s not even the one who convinces him to join up, in the end. she grows and changes over the course of the story and he has nothing to do with it. she forms bonds and connections that have nothing to do with him. in short, she’s a 3 dimensional character with a story that does not revolve around him. her role in mine is a lot bigger than just being his foil p, or a lost lenore figure. (he’s not even her only partner!)

so I can be really happy knowing how loved she is, how much she belongs with Gisele and the lads, because there’s more to her than that.

#negativity cw #a little bit I guess #more so talking about how I went from notp to ot3 w e/y #w heavy navel gazing as a warning #ice wife #azure the grouch

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faejilly · 5 years

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i hate how everyone felt the need to dictate what alec should or shouldn’t do to save his bf like if izzy didn't jump in front of simon risking her life to save him&jace didn’t risk everyone and everything for clary, same w clary yet when alec thinks of becoming a vampire as a way to save his fiancé that'll still keep him "alive" they flip out like hypocrites

basically what im saying is they all get to do whatever tf they want without getting alec’s thoughts on the matter and when alec does they don’t care (and the narrative glorifies them and gives them moral high grounds like always) but when it comes to alec and magnus suddenly there has to be a whole meeting for everyone to feel comfortable

Hmm.

Well nonny. I both agree & disagree with what you’re saying here? Like, it’s a consistent problem in the show that everyone does stupid shit all the fucking time (because it’s a melodrama and also they’re mostly all 19 and I’m sorry to my younger readers but everyone is an idiot at 19, we just are, I’m including myself in this, there is no getting around it; we may all be idiots in different ways but it’s still there!) but Alec is both older & the only one who has a story/character-arc about reconciling one’s mistakes, so he’s the only one who ever has to deal with consequences and that is super shitty. It makes everyone else look like assholes even when they’re not supposed to, and it makes his storyline heavier and sadder in comparison to potential hero-moments that other people get. (He never gets to be right, not really, and that’s exhausting.)

Like, I don’t think anyone’s disagreeing that that’s a thing the show does and also that it’s crap. Alec gets judged and everyone else (mostly) gets away with shit. (Every time Clary charges out of the Institute to Do Things™ in season 1? Alec’s legitimate tactical concerns being framed as jealousy over Jace? Izzy & everything remotely related to her sub-plot in 2a? Every time Jace refused to tell anyone anything about what was wrong in 3a? SUMMONING LILITH IN 3B ANYONE? Dear lords. *sighs forever*)

The counter to this is that Alec gets AGENCY, he gets to make decisions about his life and act on them; even when they’re shitty decisions they’re his, and everyone else is mostly just sitting around and reacting to things all the time. (Especially Magnus in 3b OH GODS I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT, but sorry, different post.)

I will say, there’s a meeting about Magnus/Heavenly Fire/Edom because Lilith is going to try and destroy the world and so it’s not just about Alec needing to rescue his fiance. It’s not that everyone got together just to judge Alec for making emotional decisions when he’s, you know, legit emotional about things, they do have other issues to discuss.

I also think there’s a difference between most of the crew’s tendency to impulsive & stupid decisions in the field, and Alec’s ability to think tactically and make a decision and throw himself at it in .5 seconds while everyone else is still standing around going wtf? Like, it’s one of my favorite Alec traits, but it’s a little concerning to watch if you love him and don’t know he’s fiction and thus it will all work out in the end.

Like, you can see Alec, in his head, in the same amount of time it takes everyone else to think: oh shit, can we even get to Edom? What now? going:

I can’t go to Edom as a Nephilim.

De-Runing won’t work, still have angel blood, how to get rid of Angel blood?

Some sort of blood curse would be dangerous and would probably take too long and I don’t even know if it would work, have to be a Downworlder.

There’s no known way to turn into a Seelie or a Warlock, Werewolf change isn’t guaranteed and won’t go into effect until the next full moon, so that’ll REALLY take too long. Vampire will have to kill me and also might not work but the odds are better than curses or Werewolf and I’ll be ready to go tomorrow… any other way? No?

“Simon Make me a Vampire”

THAT’S NOT NORMAL.

It’s delightful and I love him, but that’s not how most people’s brains work, so I don’t begrudge the fact that everyone else around him went: what, NO.

I went oh no, baby, don’t do that and I was totally with him on the thought process. (He will die and he might stay dead and not get up again. Also what’s he gonna eat in Edom? What happens if he loses control and bites Magnus? What’s he going to do in a hell dimension for FOREVER while Lilith tries to kill Magnus? That’s only the start of a plan, where’s the rest of it? And of course he has to kill himself as part of the process! That’s different on a visceral level than the rest of his family’s ability to throw themselves between someone and a sword in the heat of battle.)

Now, to Alec’s credit, I think he’s completely aware of all those follow-up questions, it’s not that he doesn’t know he only has half a plan… he just doesn’t care. His longevity is never a factor when he’s making tactical decisions.

Which is traumatic for the people who love him, and gets them being all judgey at him when he does it. (Which may not be the best way to express concern but hey, sometimes people are really dumb even when they mean well.)

So yes, I hate that Alec is consistently held up to higher standards than the rest of the cast, I hate that they let him bear the consequences of everything that happens to everyone ever, that the show mostly framed this as reasonable because it was always busy shoving Clary & Jace into the Next Disaster™ and that no one except Magnus ever even seemed to notice that Alec carried everyone else.

That said… I don’t think everyone being upset at Alec’s “TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE” plan was really a case of them being hypocritical so much as it was a case of them being in denial about how bad the situation they were in actually was: No, that can’t actually be the only way to do this, there’s got to be a better option, right?

/shameless self-promotion: for further thoughts on Alec as Vampire, pls see my insomnia-fueled not!fic.

Now, part of their disbelief can be attributed to the fact that none of them (except Simon being raped & murdered by Camille, and Isabelle and her yin fen arc) have ever actually faced the consequences of their terrible decisions before, and in both those cases they kind of… never addressed the consequences again later? But I’ve always taken that as a failure in the story-telling rather than a character trait, iykwim.

The show never deals with consequences and emotional aftermaths, it’s not that sort of show. Can you blame the characters for that, or do you assume it happens off screen and we just never got to see it, because the story never told us that part for anything? (Except notably Magnus’ flashbacks after the agony rune, and there’s a reason that arc is one of a lot of people’s favorites, and it’s mostly HSjr’s amazing performance but it’s also that it is one of the few moments of proper emotional catharsis & follow-through in the whole series.)

It is really just personal preference, I mean, you have to base the characters on what the show gives us, but sometimes, idk. You can disagree with canon. Sometimes canon is wrong, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with basing your enjoyment of media on that premise.

For me it’s important to acknowledge the limits of the media, the style of the show and the pressures of production and scenes where it seems clear that what they’re trying to say and what ended up on screen may not be the same thing, to take character inconsistencies and wonder which ones are part of the character, (because people are inconsistent) and which ones are a side-effect of production errors. *shrugs* ymmv and all that though

#shadowhunters #alec lightwood #sh meta #sh critical #long post for ts #Anonymous #jilly answers #my sh rambling

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kinetic-elaboration · 6 years

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December 10: Thoughts on 1x08 Day Trip

Wow it’s been a long time since the last installment of my re-watch. That’s okay. I’m continuing now with Day Trip; here are some notes:

This is something I should have realized ages ago but Clarke actually says in her voice over that the Ark has kept them alive for “three generations.” So in other words they (JRoth et al) know, explicitly, that their timeline doesn’t make sense!!! Three generations means Clarke’s grandparents were Grounders. How tf did they get so many people so motherfucking fast?? Generation 1 must have had 15 kids each.

Netflix subtitles suck: “Earth is survival. Mankind if going home.” Thanks Jaha, that’s helpful.

The dual sides of Miller: breaking bad news to parents, then down for some murder. I wish we knew what made him turn around re: Grounders during the S2-S3 hiatus. Did he and Lincoln became buds?

Also speaking of Miller, before S3 I didn’t like him much, tbqh, and even now that he’s a low-key fave I still laughed when Lincoln head-butted him and he went down. Because I mean he really goes down, it’s hilarious.

So for some reason I remember reading that S1 is supposed to be roughly October and S2 is roughly November. And I live just a tad south of where the show takes place so I know something of VA winters (or as I like to call them “winters”) and, yeah, October IS probably when people who don’t know what seasons are should start worrying about the cold. So this episode’s story line makes sense in and of itself. But my question is: why was winter never actually a problem??? Like there’s been snow in the background on occasion but literally no one has ever been cold? It’s such a bizarre problem to just jump up front and center in ONE EPISODE and then, without being remotely solved, just disappear entirely from view. This has bugged me for years and will continue bugging me forever. [Actually ETA everyone forgets about winter about a third of the way through the ep so literally it’s not even an issue for a full 40 minutes.]

Kane: look at this supply depot I learned about from “civil defense plans from before the war.” First, later retconning says there was no war so what’s that about? And second and more importantly I get giddy whenever I hear “civil defense plans” because whoah-boy do I have a whole cache of trivia about those!!

“The 100 would die from exposure before help arrives.” They are really assuming exposure-death is going to happen like NOW aren’t they? That’s unrealistic, October is not that cold. (Fuck, October this year was like 80 degrees.) Also, again, no one is ever chilly, not in this episode or any subsequent episode. Please explain.

I had a semi-theory about Bellarke and leadership and here’s another data point for when/if I put that together: Clarke is seen as the leader from the POV of the Ark leadership, going all the way back to their first contact. This is somewhat understandable, given that Bellamy, still a fugitive, can’t be having one-on-one chats with the Chancellor. Plus, Clarke’s lineage makes her an obvious point person. So here we see the different spheres of leadership further dividing: Clarke still isn’t (I don’t think) really a leader to the kids but she IS a leader from the point of view of the adults. This paves the way for Bellamy to be side-lined in S2 when the Ark comes down, because he was never a leader in their understanding.

They’re even breaking up ice from the dropship seats--that’s an early frost right there. A frost we never see again!

I love the socialist delinquent collective. We needed more of this, everyone working together and shit. Could have sustained like 4 seasons on that.

ALSO THERE ARE JASPER AND MONTY I LOVE THEM.

As far as I know, Dax is the only delinquent with an actual violent past. And of course he doesn’t last long. Also interesting for my purposes how Shumway manipulates him: with favors, including a “choice assignment.” Fits my theory that one’s job is one’s life.

It’s been a long time since I watched a S1 ep but apparently Bellarke are still pretending they don’t like each other. Interesting. Man to follow the twists of this relationship requires watching more than one episode every six months. I’m just going to say this here but there is no way that it would make sense to have “I don’t want to be around anyone I actually like,” even said not-entirely-seriously, coincide with “Clarke run away with me” all within one 40 minute episode. Like honestly cutting that dialogue was SUCH a good idea.

Jasper and Monty are the best everyone else GO HOME RIGHT NOW. Here we see Monty having literally no idea how to actually cheer Jasper up because Jasper is legitimately terrified of the future and Monty survives on dry wit and nihilism. I do appreciate how that bit of disconnect grows and grows over the course of the next four seasons.

#Awkward love triangle alert. Honestly I don’t hate it as much as other people but the worst of it is that it puts Raven in this position where she just doesn’t shine as bright as we all know she can.

Miller is really not a great guard. Just wanders away from Lincoln and lets Octavia in to set him free. That’s the opposite of “guarding.”

Octavia’s like a totally different person in current-canon. She doesn’t even have the same voice anymore.

I don’t know if this is a fair criticism given that current-canon Octavia is hardly what anyone would call mentally stable but in a certain sense I wish she’d been...more explicitly fucked up? Like I can’t always tell if the ridiculous things she thinks are meant to be read as ridiculous. For example, “I’m sorry I freaked out when you kidnapped me, it’s because of my childhood” is deeply ironic. It IS because of her childhood--her childhood makes her incapable of understanding that kidnapping is wrong. But that’s not what she thinks she’s saying. But, like, is that what the writers think she’s saying? I’m not really sure. Are they on the same page as Octavia, or are they like me, on a plane above? Maybe I should have more trust in them, but did you see S4? Mmmmm hard to trust after that.

Speaking of O being fucked up, this story line would make somewhat more sense if Lincoln were actually a bad guy. It’s hard to reconcile the Stockholm Syndrome-y elements of their love story with him being, from like 1x08 on, basically a stand up fellow in every respect. Not that I don’t love Lincoln as is. It’s just that I kind of have to throw out whole episodes of characterization to make him make sense.

“I want you to remember me after I’m dead.... This only ends one way” could have been long-term foreshadowing except that we all know why Lincoln was really killed off. Plus there are too many twists and turns along the way.

Miller thinks he can give Lincoln a beating when Lincoln literally felled him with his hands tied, I mean, wow, glad you have some self-confidence at least.

Nothing will ever beat the aesthetic of Bellarke at the depot site. Also Clarke is so convinced that Jaha will be lenient on Bellamy when if she just thought about the events of her father’s death with some degree of care she’d realize that perhaps (and don’t get me wrong I love Jaha, but just maaaybe) he’s not someone to count on for forgiveness or rule-breaking. Possibly. He’s just too unpredictable. Also what is Clarke carrying, and where tf are they supposed to be? There’s like a...Colosseum there??

I think that by S3 Raven has a crush on Octavia but I also think that this Octaven scene is evidence that they were never actually friends and that Octavia, in particular, really honestly likes almost no one except Bellamy (partially out of obligation because that is NOT a healthy relationship), Jasper, Monty, and Lincoln.

Do they have furs??

Raven is so beautiful. She is the most beautiful.

Clarke has some kind of knitted thing on her ankle. The costuming on this show is A+. Wow.

I’m not sure what I think this “supply depot” is supposed to be. Why didn’t they just call it what it really is: a “bunker”? It looks sort of official (”Supply depot #22″) and it’s on the civil defense plans so it’s obviously a government site. But was it intended for government relocation (conceivable, Mt. Weather and Raven Rock are the big ones but there are others on the East Coast) or for civilians? My understanding is that the civilian shelters were mostly above ground. They were for re-location post-blast, away from the major cities. I’m also semi-confused as to why it’s in such bad shape. They built good bunkers during the Cold War, and that’s true in this universe too: Mt. Weather survived, and so did Murphy’s lighthouse bunker. Why is this one such shit?

Bellamy Blake/Guns: The true OTP. I know we all gush over Bellarke but has he ever smiled at Clarke the way he smiled at that firearm? I’m afraid not.

Jasper’s first words while high are “Earth is scary” and yet the jobi nuts are what he wants to ingest for fun during his last days on Earth. Not realistic.

“You’re acting weird.” / “I’m feeling weird, but in a good way.” WINK. BRING DEVON BACK FOR A FLASHBACK EPISODE THAT IS JUST JONTY ON SPACE WEED FOR FORTY MINUTES.

He says “Earth is scary” before he sees the Grounder hallucination so what prompted that observation?? Is that just his unfiltered thought all the time? Poor Jasper, so sad all the time.

The Jasper & Octavia friendship was so meaningful, and so beautiful, and I miss it. (Sidenote: Octavia does know how to sew, and sewing is one of her jobs in the camp, fits with my other theories, good.) I love that Jasper’s the sort of person who wants “I love you” to be the last words he says to someone before his certain death.

....Well I just realized something. FUCK EVERYTHING. We’re not gonna think about that.

(This is why I don’t want to watch S5, because I’m afraid it will distort even more my otherwise pleasant experiences watching the show’s first two actually-good seasons.)

“Here buddy, take this.” I know I point out this line every time I watch this ep but BUDDY. He’s the little brother of the group I don’t make the rules. Also of importance: “You’re bombed.”

I love sneaky-Octavia and frankly I don’t think she gets enough credit for being sly. I wish they hadn’t played up her great warrior prowess as much because it’s totally unrealistic, but that she has a natural head for low-level treachery is reasonable. Also she and Clarke could have teamed up for some Slytherin-y evil-plan fun times.

READY TO BE A BADASS CLARKE.

This learning-to-shoot scene, in all its cliche flirty glory, is officially the moment Bellarke became endgame, jsyk. They’re hot, he’s obviously attracted to her, they snark at each other, there’s touching involved, they’re bonding over a (newly) common interest....

Clarke at least obviously perceives them as co-leaders (following the “for now we make the rules” Charlotte story); she wants to talk about how they’re going to deal with the guns in camp. Those questions interest me a lot and, hey, do we ever find out how they DO deal with them, like what the rules for access to weaponry are? All that government-building stuff is of interest to me but w/e. Meanwhile, Bellamy sees Clarke as the obvious (sole) leader in his absence (he tells her to keep Miller close).

Bellamy’s experience with the glitter berries is ALSO negative, yet he also chooses to use them as a party drug. Maybe I just don’t have enough experience with drugs but is that not odd??

Jaha would definitely refer to the victims of the culling as “320 souls” who were “sacrificed” but is this also how Bellamy thinks of them? As SOULS? Or is he just really good at keeping his hallucinations IC?

Clarke playing with the bendy gun is the second most hilarious thing in this episode, second only to Lincoln knocking Miller out using his head. Clarke’s a riot. She would be so fun when drunk.

My entire Miller-is-a-drama-nerd headcanon comes from a post someone made about that 2-second moment he’s standing there talking to himself while high and I have NO REGRETS. It’s canon.

“Finn, babe, I know you’re grievously injured and need to stay lying down but the whole camp’s nutter-butter for some unknown reason so get your butt out here to enjoy the hilarity. This is priority one.”

Shame on everyone who doesn’t properly appreciate Stoner!Monty. SHAME.

Clarke is so efficient she uses her state of intoxication to do some problem solving.

She’s obviously a Daddy’s Girl. The excessive use of the word ‘kiddo’ alone basically confirms.

“Forgiveness isn’t about what people deserve” is a criminally underrated line. Especially given the running thread of forgiveness and absolution through the whole show. I agree with that meta from back in the day that Bellarke’s view of forgiveness in the first two seasons is shallow, that it’s harder than just “if you want forgiveness, I’ll give it to you” but I still think there’s something there in Clarke’s initial glitter-berry-fueled realization.

You know what I had always previously assumed that Raven was high when she said “You are the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms” and I wondered, you know, why she chose to eat the nuts AFTER she saw the full effects of them, but now I think she was sober and that was her way of taking care of Connor (?). Because she doesn’t sound space-y when she says it, and at the same time Finn is dumping nuts into the fire and then he says “I got this one,” about another delinquent who is high, which makes it seem a lot more like they’re wrangling their wasted compatriots rather than getting wasted themselves. Which brings up the inevitable question: how did Raven and Connor get to talking about brooms??

Bellamy has explicit suicidal urges but also sees suicide, or death, as something he doesn’t really deserve. Which is fucked up but also...I wish that had come up more explicitly in S4 when so many other characters, including characters he interacts with, start talking about ending their lives. He tells himself (I’m assuming this is him and not Dax speaking through Jaha) that “life is a struggle.” Here he frames it as ‘the struggle of life is what you deserve as punishment for your sins,’ which is interesting enough though bleak, but perhaps he could find some slightly-less-bleak framing of it a (canon-verse) year later?

Bellamy’s confused face when he realizes his gun is a hallucination is the third most hilarious part of this episode.

The Bellarke story line in this episode (both in the sense of the Bellarke-relationship and the Bellamy and Clarke intersecting story lines) IS SO GOOD. Hot damn.

This scene by the tree is also why I still haven’t forgiven Clarke, like 10 years later, for walking away in 2x16. Because Bellamy didn’t run! She asked him to stay and he stayed! She offered him forgiveness and he knew, I’m sure, on some level, that it wasn’t that simple but he still came back! And she couldn’t do that for him.

“All I think about is how to keep everyone alive. But we don’t have a choice.” Already she’s seeing their leadership as pre-ordained (I think in part to alleviate her guilt for all of the things she’s already had to do as a leader, which we see in her convo with her dad weigh on her heavily), and this is the weakness Lxa exploits in S2. The hero/martyr complex.

Bellamy and Clarke walking into camp with the guns = the reason I’m bi.

Bellarke are so smart in this convo with Jaha: Clarke gives her speech first, and then Bellamy’s like “I see that doesn’t convince you, how about some of the coin of the Ark-realm: we make a deal. You live, I live. Everyone wins!”

Lol @ Finn thinking he’s a part of the leadership team.

I feel like one way of summarizing S1 was “how the first people back on Earth after the nuclear apocalypse set themselves up for another apocalypse” but then the show kind of...didn’t go there? Like they make their Oppenheimer references and there’s tons of stuff about accidental escalation and accidental war (a big fear during the Cold War irl btw), and Finn even lays it out here in this conversation with Clarke: bringing in guns is a first step down a dangerous road; this is how it starts. What happened to that whole theme?

I know I talk shit about this show a lot (probably more outside of tumblr than on, actually) but I really do honestly love it, at least in its first two seasons. Like this episode...that was some good shit.

#the year 2017 #2017: the 100 s1 #2017: fandom thoughts

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musical-chick-13 · 7 years

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In which I live-blog Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Okay. Here we go.

Can I get more Heather and Valencia this episode? Please?

Oh, Rebecca. So many unresolved father issues.

Wait? Paula made that veil? What a gem. What a fantastic human.

Rebecca, I know you’re SO HAPPY but this wedding CANNOT happen.

I mean, this wedding isn’t going to happen, right?

RIGHT?!?!

YES A DEATH METAL NUMBER THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED FROM THIS SHOW

You know Josh, you’re not the brightest, but thank you for recognizing something’s up and that Rebecca’s has done a complete 180 in regard to her newfound idealized vision of her relationship with her father.

You still shouldn’t marry Rebecca, though.

Stop being cute. I refuse to ship this.

Oh, God; she’s said her life is practically perfect. She’s happy. How is this all going to fall apart?

Hmmm…

Oh, God.

Josh is a stand-in for her dad.

No, not like that.

Just that she had abandonment issues regarding her father and that Josh is her way of fixing that. Like, by him sticking with her, she can mentally erase what happened with her dad by making Josh the primary male figure in her life. Just like “A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes” in season one suggested-that every guy she dates is just a stand-in for her dad.

This show, guys. It’s so good.

Robert? Who tf is Robert? Was she engaged before? Interesting…

Darryl’s in the stag party, God bless.

REJOSHECCA CHABUNCH DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE DARRYL

Looks like Rebecca’s not the only one with an unhealthy relationship with her opposite-sex parent. (Lookin’ at you, Hector.)

White Josh is right; last two people who should get married.

WiJo is not into marriage; of course. Kids, yes, marriage, no-Darryl is going to be so upset.

But, you know, actual conflict that couples have to deal with is good, so props on that. I’m excited to see where their storyline goes. And, you know, I think there’s something to be said for not having to “legitimize” a relationship by getting married.

But I also really want them to get married at some point, so…

But, you know, it’s fine. Because I trust the creative team on this show-I trust them in whatever decisions they decide to make.

Wow, I have literally never said that about a show before. Good, job, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Team. (This show is the best, you guys.)

I love Father Brah. Like, legitimately so much.

Shut up, Naomi; Valencia is great.

“Hootenany.” I’m so glad Valencia’s vocabulary is this way.

All of these guests, but no Trent? I was promised Trent. Where is Trent?

Did she just…pop her foot while hugging her dad? WTF?

Aw, Scott and Paula went together. As much as I don’t like infidelity plots, I’m glad they’re working things out.

Naomi is dishing. It. Out. I wasn’t aware how much I loved her before this episode.

NATHANIEL IS HERE

WHY

WHY IS NATHANIEL HERE AND NOT TRENT

Is he trying to be a Nice Guy ™? Or does he just want approval because he also has father-based self-esteem issues? In either case, he really needs to shut up.

Hmm…accepted to Harvard, Robert happened, went to Yale instead? GIVE ME ANSWERS

Yeah, she’s an enigma because she kept one obviously traumatic event from you, Josh.

He thought….

The dance instructor thinks Rebecca is marrying her dad. Wow. And she finds it funny instead of being freaked out (presumably because a stranger sees an emotional connection between them and she’ll take anything she can get at this point)? Can this show get any more blatant?

My poor, little problematic protagonist.

I NEED. TO BORROW. SOME CASH. WOOOOOOOOOOOW. What a fucking jerk.

No wonder Rebeca has so many issues. Her own parental unit only came to her wedding in order to ask her for some fucking money. God, I hate this show.

(That’s a lie; I love this show with every single atom in my body.)

Thank you, Doctor Akopian. Dr. Akopian is the hero we all need. #AkopianforPresident

Oh shit, Robert the mysterious ex-boyfriend was her TEACHER?! (I mean, she said “I dropped out of your class” and “You said you’d leave your wife,” so I assume…)

Oh, no, Rebecca. You did not drive your father away, you were eleven. You were not a needy child. Someone give this poor woman a hug.

Forget about the past? I do not like this. I don’t trust you, Silas. I’ve got both my eyes on you.

YES TRENT FINALLY

PLEASE SAVE US WITH YOUR MORALLY UNSOUND PLOTS

So, this wedding can’t happen, but I don’t want Josh to be the one to call it off because I know that will utterly break Rebecca.

But I also don’t want Josh to be sad because he’s trying his best.

Yes, communication is good. Thank you, Father Brah.

This conversation is going to be a time.

A REPRISE OF YOU STUPID BITCH

AND VILLAIN IN MY OWN STORY

IT’S A MEDLEY

Okay, this show wins all the awards. All of them. Everyone else can go home.

NO JOSH A GIRL CANNOT FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

YES JOSH RECOGNIZING YOUR ISSUES AND CALLING YOURSELF OUT I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU

Please, talk to each other. I don’t ship you, but you need to have this conversation.

I am actually legitimately scared; I have no idea what is going to happen.

This friendship is so important. Paula and Rebecca, I mean.

HAHAHAHAHA DON’T ASK ME I’M JUST A DUMB COWBOY WHO LIKES WEDDINGS Darryl is my favorite. Like, actual favorite on this show.

WiJo, maybe you shouldn’t argue about it, but you should talk. Discussing where your relationship will go is important for couples everywhere.

Heather’s directness and honesty is everything to me.

JOSH WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING

DARRYL DARRYLDARRYLDARRYL IT IS FAR TOO EARLY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO CONSIDER HAVING A BABY YOU GUYS ARE PRECIOUS BUT PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS

Why is this show like this? Why did I sell my soul?

…I hate this.

Josh, no. Don’t just leave. You need to talk to Rebecca. Trust me, it will hurt her less than if you just don’t show up without an explanation.

I am so here for all of Rebecca’s friends being willing to rip Josh apart for abandoning her.

“With someone else, but it’s not what you think?” Is he dead?

WHAT

JOSH IS JOINING THE MINISTRY

…Because Father Brah said it was the answer to all of his questions about life and Josh thinks this will solve his serial monogamy problem.

I…honestly didn’t see that coming.

Oh, no. Rebecca is thinking about jumping. I can’t do this. I cannot do this. I asked for a silly musical show that deconstructed romantic comedies, and I did NOT ask for this.

Aw, she admitted she loved Greg while he was here. This makes my heart happy. They were not good for each other and shouldn’t get back together, but I’m glad she acknowledged his importance.

Okay. So, Robert was her teacher, he broke up with her, she tried to burn his stuff and got tried for arson, and the judge agreed to strike it from her record if she sought mental health counseling. She went to a mental institution and did the whole drug cocktail thing, and that explains why she was on so much medication at the beginning of the show and couldn’t feel anything.

That…makes a lot of sense, actually.

YES PAULA

Oh, God, this is so important. Everyone in Rebecca’s life left her because of their stuff, not because of her. And it all starts with her father walking out.

YES YOU TELL HIM REBECCA

Oh, thank GOD.

“You’re crazy.” “Little bit.”

REBECCA OWNING HERSELF AND ACKNOWLEDGING HER ISSUES HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS DAY

“Have fun flying coach, dick.” Oh, Nathaniel. You know, I just might come to like you.

Destroying Josh Chan. What is she planning?

WAIT WHAT NO

YOU CAN’T JUST END IT THERE NO

I CAN’T WAIT ANOTHER 8 MONTHS FOR A RESOLUTION TO THIS

GIVE ME MORE

Well, at least we got renewed for season 3.

I look forward to it.

And, I gotta say: Rebecca hating Josh is a new dynamic I am beyond excited to explore.

Peace out. This has been a Liveblog No One Will Read.

#liveblog #crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex girlfriend spoilers #stream of consciousness #long post #cxgf talk

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winstonhcomedy · 6 years

Text

How’d Winston Do Last Night? 10/10

EVERYONE ALMOST DIED!!!! Hurricane Michael came to Richmond and it was scary babiessss!!! But luckily both of the open mics I was planning on doing went off without a hitch.

First up is one of my gosh darn favorites in all of RVA. Mainly because not only is it a fun room, but it is EARLY!!! Daddy loves an early open mic. The first show was the open mic at The Camel hosted by Jameson Babbowski. Which sounds like the name of a cocktail that is one part Irish whiskey and one part Manischewitz. Great guy, and a newer comic. But he does put together a pretty sweet show!!!

The format is he has three open mic spots then two headliners do about 15 to 20 a piece and then follows that with the rest of the open mic list. This actually is a pretty dope set up. Everybody gets stage time, and the headliners don’t have to be the first comics up!

So after I get to the show it just starts pouring cats and dogs. Like really coming down. I was the first comic there so I went and changed out of my sassy jorts and into my sexy comedy jeans and papa was ready to sling some jokes.

My buddy Brock Hall and his lady friend Ash stopped by. It was fun catching up with the one line wonder, and just shoot the shit. Then we had Mu Cuzzo and his lady Paula arrive along with Bert Martling, Rick Williams and some others.

It was a fun preshow hang. Had such a good time just hazing tf out of Bert. It is quickly becoming my favorite past time. Always good when Mu and Rick join in as well. Honestly I can’t state enough how much fun ball-busting is and it really is my comfort zone. I do think we found Bert’s weak spot in roasting, and I will be continuing to exploit that for the foreseeable future.

After doing a super brave and courageous Paul Ryan joke a few nights before Rick Williams decided it was time he ditched his time tested material and try out a sweatlist. I WAS BEYOND EXCITED to see this disaster about to unfold.

So for you guys who don’t know what a sweatlist is I will explain. A sweatlist is when you get another comedian to write a list of topics/premises on a piece of paper and give it to you. You take the list with you on stage and the first time you look at the topics is when you get up there. Then it is your job to proceed to tell/makeup jokes about the topics off the top of your head. It’s basically improvised standup and it can be a super dope writing exercise.

So the show was ready to get underway and the headliners this week were Liz Carr (sweetheart comedy) and Jesse Jarvis! So it was going to be a fun time. There was a surprisingly good crowd in spite of the horrendous weather.

After the first few comics went (Brock Hall, and new guy idk) Jameson asked me to run grab my clamp light because it was too dark. I GO AND GET FREAKING DRENCHED. But we were right it definitely improved the show being able to see the performer’s face.

Mu had a hot set then they brought Liz on stage. Liz legitimately had one of the best sets I’ve ever seen her have. Liz puts on super fun shows all around town, and really really grinds her ass off at this thing. So it was nice to see her have a hot set!!!

After her Jesse had a pretty good set too. Jesse is legit one of my favorite comics, and is one of the OG Richmond comics. He is one of the sweetest and kindest dudes I know. I love every conversation I have with him and I enjoy his comedy a great deal. He looks like Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny, but his comedic style is an observational style with very specific word choices. His notebook looks like a serial killer’s.

After his set the open mic picked back up and people did ok. Bert kinda bombed and Rick actually did fine with his Sweatlist. This time he took an even braver stance on Paul Ryan and for that we are all very proud and thankful for his service.

I go up last and get to stretch a little bit. I got to do about 12 minutes with a good mix of crowd work and trying out my new material. The material goes well for the most part, and the crowd work does better. Riffing on how we were all going to die, the audible weather alerts going off, and the fact the woman on the news showing the weather was in front of a map that was completely red while wearing completely red.

Honestly my set was super fun so I’d give it a B. Really continuing a streak of productive shows which felt hella nice.

After my set I grabbed my stuff and headed over to Garden Grove Brewery in Cary Town which is an open mic hosted by my buddy James Muñoz (the bled). Comics from the other mic showed up but I also got to see Patrick Buhse, Brandon Beswick, and Kate Carroll.

I had a pretty dope moment with Buhse where we talked about some stuff, and eventually hugged and admitted our respect for each other. Buhse is a funny dude, and I think in the past we both took some things the wrong way. People were mean AF to me when I started comedy and it made me bitter for a hot minute so naturally there were some issues. But it was nice to get an audible acknowledgement that that was over and that we loved each other.

I love busting balls but I legit actually hate hurting anyone or feeling like I've wronged someone, so that was a nice bow to put on an already super dope night.

I went first on the mic and I did ok. Some stuff worked and some didn’t. As I was telling jokes the bartender was placing buckets down to catch the leaking water so there was some distraction. Then at the end of my set I made fun of two dudes who were talking so loud in the back and that went great.

I had people tell me good set on my way out into the torrential downpour which was definitely nice. These jokes still need work but I’m working on it.

I’d say my set was in the C+ to B- range and I’m perfectly happy with it.

All in all a super dope night for comedy and I couldn’t have been happier! So until next time sweet cheeks I LOVE YOU LAYDEES!!!!

#comedy #comedian #roast #funny #hurricane #hurricanemichael #openmic #richmond #virginia #improv

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