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#i have things i need n want to do today but
bratzforchris · 1 day
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Sunflowers
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Summary: Chris gets distracted easily. Like really, really easily. When he gets separated from Matt and Nick in the mall, he meets a lovely soul who understands just a little bit more than anyone else.
Pairing: ADHD!Chris x autistic!feminine reader
Warnings: Neurodivergent overstimulation, getting lost, crying, brief mentions of ableism
Word Count: 2.1k
A/N: The sunflower lanyard (pictured above) signifies that someone has a hidden or invisible disability and may need extra assistance/patience/kindness. I am not saying or assuming Chris actually has ADHD. If he doesn't, cool, if he does, also cool! This is all for fun and for diversity in the fandom<3 Enjoy!!
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ADHD was a difficult thing to live with. It was more than just the stereotype of “Oh look! Squirrel!”. It was a constant condition that caused a lot of impact on one’s day-to-day life and happiness. Chris knew this better than just about anyone. Having been diagnosed in middle school, he found himself on a constant pendulum between spaced out with his head all over the place and extra hyper. Though he was medicated for it, there were still days where his body and mind were consumed with extra hyperactivity and energy, meaning he could be easily distracted, rambunctious, and fidgety. 
Both Matt and Nick were aware of their younger brother’s diagnosis and were extremely supportive of it, letting Chris run wild when he needed to and gently reminding him to take his meds and do his other daily tasks now that they no longer lived with their parents. The youngest really couldn’t have asked for a better support system, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t days where his brain betrayed him for quite literally no reason. 
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“Do you want your lanyard, Chris?” Matt asked as he grabbed his car keys off the hook near the garage door. 
The key rack held all of the boy’s keys and things they would need when they left the house, but it also held Chris’ green and yellow sunflower lanyard. These lanyards were a universal symbol that someone had a hidden or invisible disability and might need some extra kindness and assistance when they left their house. Chris had fought the idea at first, claiming that he didn’t need that; he rarely struggled in public. However, the change after he had agreed to try one due to Nick’s pleading to give it a shot had been immense. Strangers no longer looked at him like he was rude when he couldn’t help to butt in or play with his fidget toys as an adult, nor did shop owners hastily bat his hands away when he just wanted to touch things in stores. Of course, there were still bigots, but the improvement was more than he could have asked for. 
Now, Chris possessed his own sunflower lanyard, complete with a small card attached that read “I have ADHD. I can act restless and tend to fidget. I may act on impulse and have trouble concentrating. Please be patient and understanding.” and had both Matt and Nick’s names and phone numbers on it in case of an emergency. His lanyard also had a few pins, buttons, and pop-its on it so that the boy would always have something to fidget with. 
“It’s probably a good idea,” Nick added, coming down the stairs and typing out something on his phone. “Christmas is next week. The mall is going to be busy.”
Being triplets, Matt and Nick were incredibly in-tune with Chris and each other, and both boys could tell that today was going to be a more hyper, easily distracted day for their younger brother. Normally, they would’ve postponed busy, crowded spaces and must-do errands for a day where Chris was feeling more mellowed out, but they flew back home to Boston in just a few short days and had yet to buy Christmas presents for, well, anyone. 
Slowly thinking over the situation at hand, Chris grabbed his lanyard off the hook and placed it over his neck, but it wasn’t long until he had moved on to something else. “Do you guys think that there are triplets just like us?” he asked as Matt corralled him out the door. “But like, in China or something?”
The drive to the mall had been much longer than anticipated with all the holiday traffic, which allowed Chris more time to let his mind wander, blurting out every random thought he had as he played with the shark pop-it on his lanyard. Luckily, Nick quickly engaged the youngest in all his conversations so that Matt could focus, his own head spinning as he tried to keep up with Chris’ mile-a-minute chatter. 
“We should go people watching,” Chris announced as Matt parked their car inside of the heavily filled parking garage. “We could probably see some crazy shit. Speaking of which, did you guys see that episode of Live PD last night?”
Matt and Nick shared a glance over Chris’ head as they walked into the mall. The more Chris talked, the more he began to fidget, earning stares from onlookers, despite his lanyard. The mall was insanely crowded, which could either help or hurt. Somedays, Chris absolutely thrived in chaos, able to hyperfocus and get tasks done in record time. On others, his brain became so stimulated by chaos and change that he would shut down, often losing his ability to executive function in the process. Today was an absolute toss up. 
“Let the games begin.” Nick mumbled, grabbing his brothers’ hands and sliding through the crowds. 
As ‘cringy’ as it was, the triplets still held hands with each other in public, especially after Chris had received his ADHD diagnosis. Matt and Nick felt an almost protective sense over their younger brother, opting to help keep him safe when his brain didn’t always remind him to do that himself. 
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Things had been going fine for well over an hour now, but it was starting to become too much for Chris. They had already gotten presents for their dad and Justin, and were now on the hunt for a gift for their mother. As much as they loved and adored MaryLou, shopping for a woman as 20 year old men in a mall this crowded was a task. 
The youngest triplet was beginning to become overstimulated. His own thoughts had already been so loud and so chaotic this morning, and to add hoards of people, blaring Christmas music, screaming kids, and overwhelming smells from the food court wasn’t helping. He hadn’t meant to get separated from Nick and Chris; the boys had been poring over the jewelry counter in Macy’s when Chris dropped Nick’s hand, opting to pull his Airpods out of his pocket. Maybe if he could listen to the music he liked and that calmed him down, he could manage the rest of this trip without a meltdown. 
Chris had just slipped his earbuds in and pressed play on Life of a Dark Rose when he realized that neither Matt nor Nick was standing next to him. Not yet panicked, he looked around the floor of the department store, searching for Matt’s Red Sox hat or Nick’s blond hair above the crowd. When that didn’t work, he simply shot a quick text in their sibling group chat that read where are you guys??. Much to his discomfort, the text quickly came back with a ‘cannot be delivered’ message, making the brunette curse when he realized that the signal in the store was awful. 
“Excuse me, ma’am. Did you see where my brothers went? They have tattoos. One’s blond and has a nose ring, the other was wearing a hat?” Chris asked the lady at the jewelry counter hopefully. 
Either not noticing his lanyard or not caring, the employee turned her back to Chris, leaving him desperate. He didn’t know his way around this mall at all, his phone wasn’t working, and it was beyond crowded. How was he supposed to find Matt and Nick? What if they left without him? He couldn’t drive and he had left his wallet with Nick. How would he get home? This was just a glimpse into the anxiety that circulated through Chris’ mind whenever he became overstimulated. 
The brunette felt his eyes beginning to grow wet, cursing himself under his breath. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t cry. Not here. Chris wiped a few stray tears that were running down his cheeks and began to retreat to a quiet area of the store to contemplate his next move. The last thing he needed was for a ‘fan’ to snap a photo of him crying and overstimulated and post it online. 
The children’s toy area proved to be the perfect place for him to hide. With all the stock having been bought out for the day in the holiday rush, the department was completely empty. Chris sat down on one of the leather benches, running his hands through his hair as a stim and anxiously checking his phone in hopes of regaining signal. He was so caught up in his anxious stimming and trying not to have a meltdown, that he hadn’t even noticed someone appear beside him. 
“Are you okay? I saw your lanyard,” You offered kindly. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Chris looked up at you, taking in your appearance. You were absolutely beautiful, dressed in a soft, sensory friendly outfit with a purple cow Squishmallow clutched to your side. That wasn’t what caught his attention, though. What truly caught his attention was the sunflower lanyard hanging around your own neck. Glancing briefly at the card, Chris noticed it read “I’m autistic”. 
“Can I sit?” You asked, gesturing to the empty spot next to the boy. 
Chris nodded, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat. “I can’t find my brothers.” he admitted tearfully. 
“Is that who’s with you?” You asked knowingly, having been in similar situations yourself. “Do you want to call them?”
“I can’t. My phone won’t send the fucking text and they were just with me and I can’t find them. What if they left me?” the more Chris talked, the upset he became, anxiously chewing on his nails. 
“Hey hey hey, it’s okay. They wouldn’t leave you. Would you like a fidget?” You pulled a tangle from your purse, holding it out for the boy to take.
Chris stared at you for a moment before tentatively taking the toy from you, instantly focusing on the colors and movement of the plastic. “...thank you.” he whispered. 
“Would it be okay if I touched you?” You asked gently. From your own experience, you knew that it was important in situations like these to ask for consent to touch someone who was overstimulated. “My lanyard has my emergency contact on it. Does yours? Maybe we can work together to find your brothers.”
Chris nodded softly, allowing you to softly look at his lanyard and identify both Matt and Nick’s phone numbers and names. By some miracle, your phone had much better service than Chris’ did, allowing you to let both brothers know where you were and that Chris was looking for them. 
“So, tell me about yourself if you want to.” You tried to make easy conversation to take the brunette’s mind off his current overstimulation and panic. 
“‘M a YouTuber,” Chris muttered softly, highly subdued. “And I like rap music and y’know, I have ADHD.” when he saw your soft, blushy smile and attentive listening, Chris became more animated. 
“I’ve always thought YouTube would be a cool job. I’m a pet sitter. I love animals so much. They’re one of my special interests.” You nodded to your cow stuffed animal. 
Chris remembered reading about the term when he was doing some self reflecting on being neurodivergent. Although he didn’t experience them himself, he knew that they were an enormous part of being autistic, and he felt grateful that you were willing to share something like that with him. 
“How did you, um, find me?” Chris asked shyly. 
“Well, I came to see if they had any stuffed animals because I love them, but instead I found you.” You smiled, fiddling with your own fidget toy. 
You and Chris continued to chat as you waited for his brothers. The difference in his personality when you first found him to now was like night and day. He had become more animated over the course of your conversation, talking with his hands, eyes aglow. You looked up when you noticed two men who looked eerily similar to Chris walk up next to you. In your head, you connected the dots that the boys must have been triplets. The blond who approached you had a hard look on his face as he noticed his brother talking to a stranger, but when his eyes caught your lanyard, he visibly relaxed. 
“Matt! Nick!” Chris squealed, leaping off the bench and pulling his brothers into a hug. 
You watched with a soft smile, thinking the sibling’s embrace was cute until the brother in the Red Sox hat turned to you. 
“Thank you,” he told you sincerely. “Thank you for helping him.”
“It’s really not a problem.” You were becoming shy under the attention, but Chris came up and wrapped his arm around you. 
“I love her,” Chris said, before blushing as he realized what he had said. “Not like that! I…I mean…” he stuttered. 
“I’ll give you my number,” You chuckled, standing on your tiptoes and kissing Chris on the cheek. “For being such a sweetheart.”
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tags ♡:  @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxysc-blog @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @spencereidenthusiast @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @patscorner @julesgrl @0strawberrysorbet0 @strombolilovr @matt444nixi @remussbitch @devthepoet1221 @mattyblover07 @loisnotaa @mollyquinnxoxo @graysturns @pepsicolapussy333 @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @m00n-0n-paws @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @raysmayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @billsslutt @aemrsy
note ♡: if you'd like to bed added to my taglist, click here <3
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eraenaa · 3 days
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Mine
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Aemond Targaryen x Wife Reader
Synopsis: You are the best thing that has ever been Aemond’s, which is why you cannot really blame him for being so possessive and cautious not to lose you. 
Warnings: Possessiveness, Jealousy, Mature, 18+, P in V Sex, Fingering, Not Proofread 
Word Count: 3,193
A/N: This is based on an anonymous request where they wanted a glimpse of the married life of Aemond and Reader from my other one-shot 'But Daddy, I love him'
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They often say marriage was a duty— it was a dire chore that not many seemed to enjoy, but that sentiment was one Aemond could ever agree to because being married to you was the most pleasurable and honorable thing he had ever experienced. He thought riding his Vhagar was the purest and most gratifying experience he would ever feel, but he was proven wrong. Being with you— being your husband would be the greatest pleasure he would have the honor of knowing. 
Aemond sighed in contentment as he clutched you closer to his chest. Burying his nose atop your head as you slept soundly in his arms. It was a scene he quickly had gotten used to. It had only been three moons since your marriage, but Aemond could not recall a day where he woke with you, not in his arms. He could not recall a moment where his lips had not known the pressure or the taste of yours. Aemond refused to reminisce upon the days when you were not his.
Aemond felt his lips twitch as you huddled yourself closer to his chest, a small moan emitting from you as the wake of the morning sun slowly crept in. “Happy name day, my love,” You mumbled against Aemond’s smooth and chiseled chest, deeply inhaling his scent as you felt his arms wrap around you tighter. “My name day is not until the morrow.” He said and ran his hands through your hair. You hummed and stretched your limbs, slowly peeling your eyes open to see the handsomeness of your husband as the fresh morning sun lit his Valyrian features. “I know, but the celebrations are tonight, so I thought it would be best to greet you today as well,” You smiled and moved your head to kiss his lips. 
Aemond sighed happily when he felt your lips against his. Aemond cupped your cheek and deepened your kiss, his whole body aflame with the burning desire to be intimate with you once more. You feel his cold hand venture to the plump flesh of your behind, squeezing it roughly, making you gasp in shock. Your husband taking the opportunity of your parting lips to snake his tongue in and feel and taste you. You felt his wanting against your thigh, warm and pulsating. And though you, too, want Aemond, feeling the need for him gathering in your folds, you gently push your husband away. You bit your lip to hinder a laugh as he looked at you, lips still puckered and eye filled with question and hurt that you would deny him of your kisses. 
“We have lots to do today, husband… I am afraid we cannot indulge ourselves this morning.” You say and tried to pull away. Aemond shook his head, feeling his cock painfully seek pleasure as his eye caught your naked form being exposed as the thin sheet was removed from your frame. “It is my name day. You cannot be so cruel and deny your lord husband on the day they celebrate his birth,” Aemond reasoned, pulling on your arm and trying to capture your lips once more. You laughed, “As you’ve said, your name day is not until the morrow— now, let go of me, for I shall need to bathe,” You said and quickly pecked his lips. 
You smiled as you heard him groan and whine like a little child. You loved seeing him in such a way— when in the privy of your chambers, his stoic and imposing demeanor was shed and you could see the actuality of him. You get to enjoy his handsome smiles, his genuine laughs, and his fiery touches. But the moment you stepped foot out of the four walls of your marital chambers, he once again returned to the stony, aloof prince that he is known to be. It is saddening that the world will never know the truth of your husband. You would note how the ladies and lords at court would look at you with pity. Bound and tied to what they perceive as a cold prince, but Aemond was far from it. He was a blazing fire that kept you warm even in the coldest of nights. But you supposed it was a prestigious honor to be the few who knew of your husband’s tenderness and love. 
Your smile widened as your husband called for your name once more; you peeked your head from the wet room where a steaming bath was already waiting. “Come back to bed, my light,” Aemond called, and you shook your head. “I need to bathe,” You countered, enjoying the way his thin lips almost formed a pout. “And I need someone to wash my back as well… will you help me, dearest?” You bit your tongue as Aemond was quick to his feet and escorted the both of you to the tub. He did not waste a moment as he placed his lips against yours again. Pulling you to rest atop his chest as he leaned back against the copper tub, bare bodies tangled under the milky, scented water of the bath that was meant for only you. 
Your breathing hitched as his lips moved from your lips to the apex of your neck and shoulder, feeling as his teeth nipped the supple skin to leave his marks. Your eyes closed pleasurably as you feel your husband’s hands guide your hips so your sex could grind upon his length. “Aemond,” You sighed as you felt the tip of his cock repeatedly glide against the sensitive pearl of your cunt. “Yes, my wife?” Aemond hummed; his voice had an edge that you were growing all too familiar with. He wanted to succumb to pleasure, to be buried deep inside you, but he wanted you to beg for the pleasure he, too, was desperate for. You clenched your jaw and moved your hips, grinding upon his length with more pressure. Aemond hissed and threw his head back, you simply just watched his reactions to the pleasurable torment that both of you were enveloped in. 
Your breathing caught in your throat, and your jaw slacked as your husband abruptly entered you— you harshly sinking on his well-endowed length. Aemond’s breathing was quick to grow labored as your walls clenched around him. The only thing heard in the room was your moans, Aemond’s heavy, pleasured sighs, and the slosh of water as your husband guided you to bounce on his cock. “A…Aemond,” You called, fisting his silky, silver hair as his head dipped down to take one of your breasts into his mouth, nibbling at the bud, making you clench around him tighter. Your moans grew louder as Aemond lifted his hips to meet yours, fucking you deeper to the point that your eyes rolled back, and only incoherent words were uttered from your lips. “Fuck, look at you so pleasured by your husband… louder, little wife, I want them to hear how I pleasure you so— so early in the morning as well,” Aemond hummed and moved his hand that was on your hips to your cunt, his thumb drawing circles upon the pearl of your cunt making you moan louder, just like Aemond had wished. 
“Oh… Aemond, please! Please, please, please,” You cried, placing your hands on his shoulders as you hoisted yourself to take him deeper and harsher, feeling the bubbling need for release. The prince smirked up at you. Gods, he loved you even more when you were on the verge of coming for him; he loved how desperate and more lewd you became for him. The stifled groans Aemond held were let out when you suddenly reached behind you and cradled his sacks. He looked up at you through hooded eyes, a small smirk on your lips as you moaned his name, your tits bouncing before him as you both reached your peak. You tried to catch your breath as you rested your forehead upon your husband’s. “Well, that was most productive. Do you not think so, wife?” He teased and cupped your behind with both of his hands; you let out an amused breath and shook your head, letting him carry you out of the tub so the both of you could truly get ready for the day. 
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For the rest of the day, you were busy with the final preparations for that night’s festivities. Inspecting if everything is in perfect order for your husband’s name day. In truth, Aemond had no wish for such a grand celebration. He would rather spend his special day in the privy of your company, and usually, you would oblige your husband. However, after hearing that not once was his name day celebrated with such an event, you had to change that. You wished for him to experience the joy and festivity of a whole kingdom celebrating the day you were born. 
“Do not strain yourself, sister; it is not good for the both of you,” You hear Helaena hum as she pauses by the great hall to see how the preparations are coming. You lightly chuckle, “Aye, Aemond had been insisting for me to cancel this feast, fearing that it would burry me in work, but I do not mind it, truly.” You smiled and fixed an askew goblet on the long table. “I did not mean Aemond,” Helaena said, her voice far off, making you pause in confusion. But that confusion was quick to vanish as you heard the call of your beloved brother. “Sister!” Lucerys ran to where you stood, and you quickly enveloped your younger brother in an embrace. 
“Oh. I have missed you, sweet boy!” You beamed and held him tighter. You turned to the end of the hall and saw the other members of your family entering, them obliging your request and coming all the way from Dragonstone to attend your husband’s name day. “I’m so glad you all came,” You smiled and went to kiss your mother on her cheek. You turned to your father, who could only grunt; his animosity towards your husband was still there, but you could see it slowly fading with each moment he saw how truly happy you were to be Aemond’s wife. “We would not have missed it, my sweet girl,” Your mother smiled. “Isn’t that right, dear husband?” Your mother nudged your father, who took a deep, burdened breath before reluctantly nodding. “All your chambers have been prepared; I think it would be best if you rest before the feast… so all could be in a more cheery mood,” You turn to your father with a pointed look. “Very well then,” He sighed and kissed your temple before walking off and going to their bed chambers. 
“How has married life treated you, my sweet?” Your mother asked as you two were left alone. “I would guess it has treated you well… you look positively radiant, but I want to hear it from your lips.” She added, and your smile widened. “I… I am incandescently overjoyed, mother.” You said, and your mother lightly laughed to see the joyous glint in your eyes. “I am glad you found such happiness with Aemond,” She sighed, and you could only smile in agreement. Your smile grows wider as you see your husband across the hall, walking towards you and your mother. “Sister,” he nodded civilly, and your mother did the same. “Might I have a moment with my wife?” He asked, and you felt your body tingle as he was quick to wrap his strong arm around your waist, “Of course, I’ll see you two at the feast. Happy name day, Aemond.” Your mother said with a small smile. 
“What is it?” You asked your husband as he was guiding you towards the direction of your chambers with hastened steps. When behind closed doors, you feel his lips against yours and your bodies flushing against each other. “Nothing, I just terribly missed my wife,” He said in between breaths after parting your kiss. You laugh and lightly hit his chest. “I was with you just a few hours ago,” You said against his lips, your heart spiking as you felt his fingers sly try to undo the lace of your gown. “Stop it.” You warned, but Aemond only grinned wider, connecting your lips to distract you from his other actions. You giggled as you heard your husband whine when you pushed him away and parted your lips. “We do not have time for this, Aemond. We still have to prepare for the feast.” 
“Fuck the feats,” He said, and your eyes widened in slight offense as he dismissed the event that you had been working on tirelessly for weeks. His eye too soon widened as he saw the offense in yours. “No— I… that is not what I meant, my light.” He quickly said and cupped your cheeks. “It’s just that I… I need you.” He whispered and pecked your lips. “You just had me this morning,” You say and wrap your arms around his neck. “That was not enough… I could never have enough of you,” he smiled as your heart turned to mush and your mind turned simple by the look in his eye. You whimpered as you felt his lips on your neck, threading closer to your clavicle. It took a whole lot of control in you to push him away once more and not be tempted by the prospect of pleasure. 
“Patience, my prince,” You say as Aemond’s hands were firmly placed on your waist. “You will have me over and over and over again tonight… just as long as you be patient,” You whispered, watching as his lilac eye turned dark at your words. “Just be obliging and welcoming to our guests until the feast ends, and you and I could be locked here in our chambers, drowning in pleasure until the next moon if you so wish.” You added, and you watched as he gulped. Aemond searched your eyes and only saw seriousness to back your words. “Very well,” He said and felt his heart stutter as you went to the tip of your toes to peck his lips. 
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Aemond was trying earnestly to appear cheery and obliging to the guests. He had been nodding ceaselessly to the guests who came and greeted him and offered their gifts. It was useless. He had no need for their things— he had everything he needed. He had shelter, food, the tiltyard, and most importantly, you. He had no care for the gold-threaded eye-patch house Lannister presented him nor the new stallion his mother’s house gave. All he cared about and wanted was a prolonged moment of privacy with you, where your attentions were not divided between him and the guests. 
Aemond’s jaw ticked as he saw a past suitor of yours approaching where the two of you sat. Aemond knew that he should not house doubts or insecurities about such matters. He was certainly the higher being. He was an unparalleled warrior; he was a prince; he was your husband. Jealousy is a pitiful, lesser motion that he should not entertain but could not help but do so when it comes to you. He could not help himself as he felt the fiery rage in him only grow with each moment you spoke with your past suitor. It took everything in him not to stab the irrelevant lord alive when he dared make you laugh. Aemond only saw red and was one hair away from beheading the lord as he had the gull to lead out his hand and ask you for a dance. He remembered at the first days of your marriage, even just the lingering look of any of the lords, squires, and even his brothers would cause him to grow enraged to the point he was ready to challenge those punny men. It took great restraint in him not to let his insecurities show through with the times you had to innocently speak with other men, bestowing them with your attention, warm smile, and melodious laughs.
Aemond’s fists clenched around nothing as he felt your expecting stare upon him. You silently waited for his approval that you were certain he would not deny, for it was only a dance. Aemond had promised you that he’d be obliging that night, that he would at least show a grain of warmness towards the lords and ladies, so, however difficult it was, your husband nodded. But Aemond soon regretted his decision as his eye zeroed in on the hold your past suitor had on you. His mind cruelly conjured an alternative life where you were not his but, instead, bound to that lord. He could not stomach to just think of the thought that you were not his wife and lady. He felt vile rising in his throat at the possibility that if the gods were not on his side that fateful day of the tourney for your hand, you would have been married to another, and Aemond would had no choice but to watch you be someone else’s wife. 
Aemond made hastened steps to where you and the lord danced and took his rightful place. “My prince… the song has not ended yet,” the lord had the gull to reason, and Aemond’s jaw clenched. “I have obliged you enough; do not overstep your bounds, my lord. Now, remove your hold from my wife.” He gritted, eye widening in fury. His expression is scarily serious, frightening away the lord. You smiled up at your husband as you felt his familiar and soothing touch upon your skin. 
“I had expected you to deny him of his first request,” You say to Aemond in ancient tongue. You watch him raise his brow in question and skepticism. “Really? It would seem that you had enjoyed his company.” You bit your lip at his words. “Do I sense jealousy, my dear prince?” You asked, tone riddled with tease. Aemond rolled his eye and shook his head, denying that he had succumbed to such a lowly emotion such as jealousy. You felt your lips twitch into a smile as your husband avoided your gaze as you two swayed to the tune of the dance.  You sighed and brought your palm to move his head to face you and for your eyes to lock. “The only company I truly enjoy is yours. You, my dear husband, are the only thing I want.” You say with a beaming smile. Aemond felt his heart and breathing stutter at the radiant smile on your lips and the sincerity in your voice. He sighed in contentment and placed a chaste kiss atop your head. He wished for deeper intimacy, but he could not do so as you two were still before the eyes of the court. 
“Do you wish to retire for the night?” You asked as the song ended, and Aemond eagerly nodded his head at you, making you laugh as he practically dragged you out the hall and back into the bed chambers to finally celebrate his name day in the way he wished. 
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amourane · 2 days
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kick in the right direction
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pairing: football player!seungcheol x mascot!reader
genre: fluff, university au
w/c: 0.9k
summary: seungcheol is the star football player in your university but he becomes a bumbling mess in front of you.
warnings: none, you do get hit by a ball though
a/n: i have decided to start writing fics for seventeen too because i just love them way way too much <3
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Seungcheol doesn’t know what to say. He usually has an explanation for his actions. There doesn’t seem to be anything coming to his mind when he sees you on the ground. The problem with being the star player on the football team was the amount of trust his coach put on him. As well as the thought that they needed to win every game, that wasn’t a problem though because Choi Seungcheol was a beast when he was in game mode. His aim was the best on the whole team, he’d never missed a goal. 
Obviously today was an off day.
“You’re staring, Cheol.” Jeonghan gives him a hearty slap on the back. “You really like our school mascot don’t you?” All Seungcheol can do is nod, watching as Seungkwan helps you up.
He really wants to go over and say sorry for nearly knocking you out with his kick but he can’t. Not because he doesn’t want to but because he simply can’t. It’s stupid really. Choi Seungcheol, star player of the football team, can’t say two words when he’s faced with you. He’s tried speaking to you. Once after a game, not the best choice because he’d become so nervous he spilt his water bottle all over you. Even after you told him it was fine he was still stuttering his words. Another time he’d managed to catch you walking down the hallway. The moment you smiled and said ‘hi’ his mind blanked. No words could come out of his mouth and he stood there gaping like a goldfish.
Talking to girls was easy for Seungcheol. He could give them a smile and they’d be fawning all over him. You were different. There isn’t one time he’s had a full conversation with you with nothing embarrassing happening. He’d stumble over his words or nothing would come out of his mouth. The only thing that kept him from giving up was the fact you would grin every time he came up to you and he didn’t like giving up.
“Of course I like her!” Seungcheol runs a hand through his hair. “I just don't know what to do?”
“You could ask her out.”
“I can’t!” 
His friend arches an eyebrow, clearly puzzled. "What do you mean you can't ask her out? Like you're scared, or you don't know how to, because those two are completely different things." Jeonghan's tone is gentle but probing, urging Seungcheol to confront the root of his hesitation.
“That’s not it. I’ve got everything planned out. I know what to say and I know where I want to bring her to. There’s a whole plan in my notebook, it’s coloured in and everything!”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Seungcheol fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “Whenever I go up to her to ask her out my throat closes and I can’t find the right words. Or when I try to even write my confession, my hand freezes and no letters can be written. It’s even worse because I manage to make a fool of myself whenever I’m in front of her!” He kicks the football away.
Jeonghan sighs, staring at Seungcheol as he aimed a perfect kick to the goal. The boy was completely enamoured by you. Practically the whole school knew about his crush on you. Everyone was just waiting for the day the both of you would come in hand in hand. 
//
“Y/n, oh my god! Are you okay?” Seungkwan was shaking you by your shoulders. You rub your head. That football was really hard. Who knew air could hurt you? “How many fingers am I holding up?” He waves three fingers around and your eyes struggle to adjust to his trembling hand.
“Calm down. I just got hit in the head, I don’t have a concussion or anything.” You just know there’s going to be a huge bump on your forehead tomorrow. “It’s partly Stuart’s fault.” You pat the dragon costume you had on. The fuzzy green body was heavy and the long swishy tail at the back was quite annoying to lug around.
"Why are you blaming our mascot? Stuart did nothing wrong," Seungkwan interjects, shooting a pointed glare at Seungcheol. "Star player my ass." He mutters under his breath, clearly unimpressed.
“Hey, don’t blame him. I’m sure it was an accident.” You give Seungcheol a little smile and an ‘okay’ sign to tell him everything was fine. 
“I can’t believe you like that dumbass, he can’t string two sentences together when he’s in front of you.” Seungkwan helps you up, handing you Stuart’s head. You dust off the dirt on your costume. 
What was there not to like about Choi Seungcheol? He was popular, athletic, smart and talented in everything. Not to mention he was the literal definition of eye candy. There hadn’t been many occasions where you two had met. He’d always stutter helplessly or his cheeks would resemble a fire truck, which was very endearing. It was quite funny seeing him stumble over his words whenever he tried to ask you out.
“Why don’t you just ask him out? You already know he likes you, not that he makes it the most obvious thing in the world.” 
“But isn't it just the cutest thing when he tries to ask me out but he’s a stuttering blushing mess?” You giggle when you catch sight of the pout Seungcheol has on his face. “I hope he asks me out soon though, I can’t wait to finally go on a date with him.” 
The smile you shoot at Seungcheol has him tripping over his feet, face planting into the ground. Suppressing your laughter behind your hand, you watch as he hurriedly picks himself up, only to see his teammates rolling on the floor with amusement.
“How long are you even willing to wait?”
“As long as it takes.”
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formula1blog · 2 days
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hey could you write about Carlos Sainz. Y/N is a 24 year old Spanish journalist and she and Carlos flirt all the time in front of the camera and Lando and Charles make fun of Carlos because he is always looking forward to doing an interview with Y/N ​​because they flirt hard every time. two that on twitter they created a hashtag on the flirting moments between y/n and carlos
Behind The Camera
Carlos Sainz x Spanish Journalist fem!reader
A/N: I hope this is wat you meant. I never worked with these fake apps before, so don't pay too much attention to dates and times.
One of the flirting scenes is highly based on that one Sebastian Vettel interview.
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The paddock was buzzing with people from all around the world. Grand stands were filled with the colors of different teams and drivers. There were big crowds of orange for the hometown heroes, Max verstappen and Lando Norris.
Cheers were heard as Carlos crossed the finish line in p2, just behind his teammate and in front of his old one. The red bull had crashed out of the race after the touch when Sergio Perez tried to overtake the Dutch man. Unfortunately both of the cars tuned into each other, moving Carlos up to third. After the pitstops he had managed to do an undercut on the Mclaren driver and finished on the second podium place.
"That is P2, mate. Good job," his race engineer congratulated him through the radio, prompting Carlos to let out an excited scream.
"Vamos!" he exclaimed, parking his car in front of the P2 sign and stepping out with a wide grin on his face. Charles stood on top of his own car, proudly displaying one finger in the air to signify his win. Carlos congratulated his fellow driver on the victory before turning to his team and embracing them in a warm hug, celebrating their shared success. It is a good day for the Ferrari fans and that didn't happen often.
.
"Congratulations Carlos on your p2. How are you feeling?" You ask with a bright smile on your face. You always loved interviewing Carlos. He is always really nice and you have nice conversations behind the cameras. Also a plus point that he drives for your favorite team.
"Great now that you are here," he answers, his eyes twinkling as he gives you a wink that sends a shiver down your spine. You have to try hard not to blush at the man's charming comment. "It's a great day for the team with a 1-2 finish. I hope we have more of these moments to come."
"You were absolutely flying out there today. Your performance was outstanding. I am sure that you have more of these moments. "
Carlos smiles at your words, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. "Thank you. The car felt great and the team did a great job with the undercut." He had been looking forward to seeing you today after he heard you will do the podium post race interviews. Lets just say he had some extra motivation for this race.
"With the undercut you managed to get in front of Lando. Was it difficult to keep him behind?"
"Of course. He is a great driver and their car is very fast. He really had me concentrate those last laps. " Carlos looks back at where Lando was standing next to the race winner. Lando gave him a little smile for the comment.
"The safety car came at a good moment and you got a free pit from it. Do you think you could have had the same pace with the old ones?"
"The safety car did come at a great time. I was struggling with the tyres and really wanted to switch them. The team said I couldn't because then I had to drive out the race for the remaining laps and that was too many. So having an extra free stop really helped. "
"Any plans for after the race. How are you going to celebrate it?"
"I am sure there is a party planned already. Good thing is that it is summer holiday and we don't need to do training wasted." He jokes and you let out a laugh.
"Sounds great. Have any plans for the summer break? How are you going to spend your free time? "
"Well, What are your plans?" He smirks and you have to take a second to let your mind take in his comment. You want to play to game with him, but chose to be professional and do as if you don't get the hint.
"Nice of you to ask. I'm heading back to Spain to visit some family," you reply, trying to maintain your cool exterior even as your heart races at the thought of his attention turning towards you.
"I hope I see you around then, Hermosa" Carlos says, his smirk widening as he rakes a hand through his hair in a gesture that sends a jolt of desire through you. You say your goodbyes before Lando takes his place in front of your camera.
Out of your sight Charles laughs at his teammate and gives him a pat on the back, a playful smirk placed on his face.
"What?" Carlos looks at him with confused puppy eyes. He takes his water bottle and takes a sip.
"What are your plans." Charles imitates his teammates question before letting out a louder laugh that turns the head of other people. "Mate, just ask her out already. It is painful to watch you keep flirting with each other."
"I ask her what her plans are. That is just being polite."
"Alright. And when you found out she was doing the post race interviews, you didn't smile from ear to ear because you would be seeing her again?"
"She is a great journalist and my friend. "
When Lando came back from his interview with you he had made the same remark as Charles and Carlos just groaned in reply. He was not going to hear the end of it.
The fans on twitter were going wild after the interview. It wasn't the first time you and Carlos had shared some flirty comments and there were fan pages dedicated to the two of you. There was even a tag going around with all the fans favorite moments of you two together that you weren't aware of.
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Lando laughs as he opens twitter. He was at the celebration party after the race and he had sit down next to the two ferarri drivers after a round of shots.
" Whats so funny?" Carlos asks with a confused expresion as he tries to look at the Brits phone. Lando shows the Twitter reactions.
" Looks like you are the only blind one."
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inkdrinkerworld · 1 day
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hello!! could you write about spencer catching sunshine reader during a sad time? like perhaps reader has very rarely shown spencer what she gets like when shes sad, so when he catches her, she is stubborn at first and doesn't want to open up, but eventually eases into it? thank you :))
Cw: mentions of parents venting to their kids, being sad
Wc: 1.4k
You’re not sure what you'd done to deserve a day like today exactly, only that you’d woken up and from the very first moment you’d had a hard time of it.
Your planned outfit had a stain, you forgot to make extra dinner to have for lunch, you cut your ankle shaving and then your mom called.
Calls with her have a habit of being fifty fifty. It can either be a good call, or it can be a call where she uses you as a sounding board for all her negative thoughts, worries and despite the many times you’ve told her to stop, she hasn’t.
It’s safe to say by the time you walk into work you don’t even have the energy to smile- you’re using it all not to cry.
Not even your back up outfit is working it's magic- a green top with brown pants, your favourite outfit to feel like a hobbit.
Emily calls you into the round table room as soon as you walk in, giving you a little more reason to avoid Spencer’s curious gaze.
Spencer doesn’t really take into account just how bad your mood is till you volunteer to stay in Quantico with Penelope rather than go out in the field.
“Y/n?” He touches your elbow gently as the rest of the team go for their bags. It’s just you and him in the round table room and your hands shake from holding back tears.
Spencer hasn’t ever seen you this upset, sure during a case you’re mad at the things you guys read and uncover, but this is a different type of upset and Spencer doesn’t really know what to do with it.
He just knows he wants to make it better.
“Yeah Spence?” You try to keep your voice even, knowing he’ll only worry more and the case needs his worry more than you do.
“What’s going on? You haven’t looked up at me once and you keep scrunching your nose. You also haven’t smiled since you got here.” He’s a profiler to his core, but this is just you and him, of course he’d notice everything.
You shrug, scrunching your nose again. “The case isn’t exactly something to be happy about, is it?”
Spencer knows what you’re trying to do, but you don’t get the tone right for anger- you just sound defeated.
“Either way, you and Penelope have a knack for smiling through it and you haven’t even tried once.” Ever soft, ever tender are the words that escape him.
He bends his knees a little, chasing your eyes. “What is it?” Spencer’s thumb strokes the inside of your wrist, wanting nothing more than to help.
“Spencer, can we talk about it when the case is over?” You can feel the pressure of the tears behind your eyes and you don’t want to cry here.
Not where anyone can see.
You’d much rather do it at home, where you can curl up under your blanket and sob until you lose your voice.
“Alright, but we will talk; yeah?” You nod and Spencer squeezes your forearm, a firm and soothing pressure on your skin.
The case takes a day and a half to wrap up, and you’re barely holding it together- Penelope lent you her favourite unicorn desk pal for the entire case and also her fluffy pen.
“I’m sorry, babe. You’ll feel better once this is over and you can have a good cry.” She says, your head on her shoulder as you wait for your team to come back.
You nod, “How badly do you think Spencer will react if I start crying now?” Your throat is tight with emotion- honestly you’re not sure if it’s just from your previous day or also the exhaustion of working into the next evening.
“Oh, pretty bad,” she says and you chuckle, a few tears rolling freely down your face. “But I think he’ll be more worried.”
Before you can say anything, there’s a knock on Penelope’s door and you already know who it is- only Spencer knocks. You wipe away the tears hoping that will be enough to hide them from Spencer- it likely won’t be.
“See you tomorrow Pen,” you say, gathering your things and opening the door.
Spencer looks more tired than you expected and you have to assume you don’t look so rested either.
“You’re back,” he nods, taking your satchel bag from you and reaching for your hand.
“What’s wrong?” He murmurs, leading you to a secluded spot in the hall. Spencer doesn’t say it, but your eyes bare all your emotions even if your face is neutral. They’re red and they’ve got a sad look about them, just completely and utterly exhausted. Spencer wants to help any way he can.
You debate how you should start, if you should just tell him about your bad day from beginning to end or if you should just tell him about your weird relationship with your mother and let him fill in the blanks from there.
You decide it wouldn’t be fair to Spencer because he never had you guessing when he’s sharing things so you won’t do it to him.
“Um,” you can already feel the pressure building behind your eyes again. “Yesterday was off to a terrible start, nothing was going quite right from the moment my feet hit the floor.”
Spencer nods, listening quietly as you wring your hands tightly. He takes them easily, holding them in his own and stroking the skin on the back of your hand.
“Then my mom called which could really go either way, and I had to listen to her complain about my dad and every other thing in her life and it gives me a lot of anxiety hearing some of the things and she just wouldn’t stop.”
Your tears are rolling freely now and Spencer pulls you to his chest, fear of germs be damned.
He quiets his own feelings about you crying and about the way you sound recounting your day.
“She just says these things like I’m supposed to be the one to fix them and I can’t and she’s mad that I can’t and it just messes with me sometimes.”
Spencer can deduce what you’re too kind to say- it isn’t your fault or your problem and you shouldn’t be made to feel like it’s your responsibility to make it right.
Your hands shake against Spencer’s back and he sighs, squeezing you just a bit tighter.
“I’m sorry,” his hands coast up and down your back, massaging at the nape of your neck when he reaches there. “I’m sorry she puts it on you, and I know that you’re aware it isn’t your problem to solve but you can’t help that either. Maybe over time she’ll come to realise that you can’t solve all of the things she tells you.”
You nod, trying to stop hiccuping against him. “M’sorry about your shirt Spence.” He laughs, nose in your hair as he holds you.
“It’s okay,” you sniffle harshly trying to clear your sinus. “Want to come over and watch Lord of The Rings?” This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been there- you’ve spent nights there after drinks with the team and movie nights just the two of you.
All the same it’s a shocking proposal from Spencer right after a case, you know he likes to decompress in his own way.
You gasp, leaning back from his arms a little. It’s hard to miss the care displayed so clearly in his gaze. It’s harder to fight the urge to kiss him. “The extended versions?” Spencer notes that you’ve a little more spark in your tone, a little more life in your eyes.
“Yeah, I think we can make it through the entire trilogy if we hurry.” There’s a grin on his lips as he says it.
“Spencer, don’t play with me here. We’re talking serious business.” He laughs, hiking your bag higher on his shoulder as he watches you wipe your tears.
“I��m not playing. Is your go-bag full or do you want to stop by your place on the way to mine?” He hopes secretly that you don’t have your own sleep clothes, it’s a selfish want to see you in one of his shirts or even a cardigan.
“I have clothes, we can go straight there. And you’re driving, you have all the maps in your head with the shortest routes.”
Spencer nods, like he was ever going to make you drive. “Plus you’re a hazard on the road, absolute chaos behind a wheel.”
Spencer feels his chest lighten when your laugh explodes from you, loud and so like yourself as you wait for the elevator to open.
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I genuinely cannot tell if you’re requests are open or not but if they aren’t jus reply saying they aren’t or leave this silly piece letting until they are. I want to see freminet BRED. That man deserves to be inflated and begging for more (if you could be so kind as to do this with lyney as well but I’m more then happy with just Freminet) thank you
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Pairings: Freminet x reader, Lyney x reader (separately)
Warnings: Male!reader, dom/top!reader, adult characters, sub/bottom!Freminet, sub/bottom!Lyney, rough sex, breeding kink, creampies, loving degradation
Genre/Format: Smut; Scenarios
Author's Note: I'm combining these two requests, I hope that's alright! — I agree, Freminet deserves to be bred and fucked like the world is ending tomorrow 💙
Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!
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“Isn't this what you wanted? You said 'break me, daddy! Break me like the cheap whore I am!' right?”
“I-I did n-o-o-o-t!!” He stuttered. Sharp thrusts cause his words to hiccup as you pound him into the mattress so hard that the poor thing can't even talk!
You smirk, “Ok maybe you didn't say that exactly, but you did ask me to break you, right?”
He began to protest, though he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. “W-weeelll...”
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The backs of Freminet's thighs were bright red — and you were nowhere near finished with him yet. His nails dug into the sheets, and the sound of skin hitting skin resounded heavily throughout your bedroom.
“Mm baby, you know I'll give you whatever you want–” You drawl, completely high off of pleasure as Freminet's hole squeezes around your cock, which feels fucking heavenly. “all you have to do is ask and you know- fffuuck! You know I'll give in eventually. Hah...”
Amidst the rough slapping sounds and labored grunting, you pick up on something else: “-der”
“Mm? What's that, babe?” You ask, tenderly brushing the hair out of his face.
Freminet turned his head slightly, meeting your eyes with a look that you don't get to see too often — “Harder!” He orders. And you smile wide in return.
“Yes, sir, anything you want.” After a quick kiss to Freminet's temple, you pull your hips back — nearly pulling out all the way — and slam back into him with a bruising force. Then you repeat the motion. And again. And again, and again, and again–
Picking up the pace and still keeping that full force, you fucked your boyfriend exactly how he wanted you to. Freminet's groans and screams filled the room, accompanied by increasingly wet noises when you fucked him through multiple orgasms (yours and his). Filling his little hole so much that your cum began to leak out and slide down his legs, and creating a slight bulge in his stomach. They say you can't impregnate a man, but if sheer force of will was enough, Freminet would be pumped full of your kids by now.
Rarely did you slow down, wanting Freminet to get the pounding that he desired. Even with a mess of cum dripping onto the floor, and a puddle forming under his hips, you kept up the pace. With a firm grip on his hips, you slammed into him harder and harder. Aftercare will be extra fluffy today, but until then, your partner isn't done whimpering for you to 'please keep going' yet.
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“A-ah! O-ok, I do want you to break me! Happy n-now?” Lyney stammered, blushing furiously at the position you currently have him in.
His chest pressed into the mattress with his hands pinned behind his back, and his ass flush with your hips. It was too obvious how much that simple request had turned you on already; the not-so-subtle hard-on poking Lyney's thigh gave away your feelings.
“Well?” Your partner questioned, almost impatiently.
“Well what?”
Lyney rolled his eyes. “Weeell, are you going to break me or not?” OH- Duh.
No person has ever removed clothing faster in their life; you couldn't get either of you undressed soon enough. Your boyfriend's lovely moans were all the motivation you needed to spread his cheeks, line yourself up, and push in nice 'n deep.
It really didn't take long for a brutal pace to be set. Lyney adjusted quickly and practically begged for you to rail him until his legs stopped working.
Using his arms as leverage, you grip them tightly and slam inside of Lyney's ass repeatedly. The skin of his thighs ripples with every thrust, and he moans into the sheets as they become wet between his teeth.
You pull him up by his hair next, bringing him flush against your chest as you whisper into his ear, “Such a pretty whore for me, babe. I think you deserve to be filled up, don't you?”
Lyney nods in agreement, panting, “Yes, gods please–! Br-breed me!” And per his request, you speed up again — Lyney's clenching down on your dick draws a huge load of cum that floods his insides, giving him exactly what he desires.
Leaving a trail of kisses down his neck, you mouth all manner of compliments and adoration against your lover's skin–
“Fuck, I love you so much” as your cum drips from his hole
“So damn beautiful” as your tongue slides into his mouth
“You were made to be bred” as your hand is still tightly balled in his blond locks
“Good boy” as you start moving again, working your cum deeper inside so that you can pump another load into your precious twink of a boyfriend.
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dreamauri · 2 days
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♪ — 𝗪𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡? - part three max verstappen x reader (fluff) “. . . when he wants to be normal, he can count on you, stranger.”
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( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )
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He thought he’d forgotten how to breathe, standing in his spot with his hands in his pockets, looking up at the chalkboard menu. You'd think he was a statue with how little he was moving. But then again, you weren't aware of who you were standing next to you.
"Y/N? Can we explore for a bit?" the two college-aged boys asked, making you peel your eyes off the list of foods to the interns, Max would assume. Out of the corner of his eyes, the blond could see you check your watch before nodding. 
"Yeah, sure. There's plenty of time. Meet me back here in an hour and a half so we can head over to the circuit. Deal?" Oh, that was definitely your voice. You were his Y/n. The way you talked and your voice and accent. He could now put a face to your voice, no more profile pictures.
"Deal! Thanks, Y/n." "See ya, Y/n."
"Take care, guys." Max didn't expect to run into you so soon, or be this close to you at all, even. He watched as you waved to the two interns who excitedly jogged out.
Don't come off as a creep, Max reminded himself, shaking his head and taking a step forward in the direction of the register. He'll just act cool, normal. Get himself something to drink and sit down. That helped calm him down a little, just like any other indifferent person.
It's very unfortunate for Max that his inner peace never lasts so long. Not that it was a bad thing he bumped into you. There is nothing wrong with accidentally stepping forward at the same time as you. It's just not good for his heart. Max already has to meet fans today and get in the car for fp2 and 3. You're just making his brain go haywire a little too much that he feels his eyes are going to turn static and face turning the shade of Charles' Ferrari.
"Sorry." He tried to apologise, stepping back, feeling his body stiff and turning to stone. 
"Désolée," you went to apologise only to look up and meet eyes with the three time world champion. "oh- im so sorry."
"No, it's ok." Max smiled nervously, meeting your eyes for the first time, which honestly made him feel mesmerised.
"Here, you can go," you stepped back, offering the blond to step to the cashier. 
"No, no. Ladies first." he shook his head, cutting you off when you went to argue back. "—I insist."
Max was kind of disappointed that you felt so nervous and acted so polite upon recognizing him. He wished you would've treated him like normal, the same way you talk to him as amilian or the same way you would talk to a stranger who wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into you.
He knows it's not fair that he's pushing his expectations on you, though. Anyone would react the same way upon meeting a very important or famous person. Max just wished he was standing beside you in line instead of behind you. Having a friendly conversation, telling you how much you'll love the cheesecake.
He'll have to settle for sitting on a table not too far from you for now, sipping from his paper cup while scrolling through his phone.
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
y/n — 'I bumped into Max 😓' 
Max himself, glanced up to where you were sitting, catching you looking away quickly, face turning a deep shade of red.
y/n — 'And now he thinks I'm stalking him!!' y/n — 'million help 😭😭'
Max chuckled slightly, feeling his heart ease. You were overthinking things. He wished he could sit beside you and pat your back until you calmed down. But he can't really do that, can he? Max calming you down after you get all nervous and anxious meeting him? The situation gets sadly funnier the further Max plays into it and thinks about it.
Max — 'What did you do ⁉️' he sent back in the chat
y/n — 'I went to the café you told me about, and i think i accidentally stepped on his foot 😭😭' y/n —  'I ruined his shoes! And he needs his foot to drive the car!!!' y/n —  'He must hate me' y/n —  'He saw me looking at him too' y/n —  'Must think i’m a weirdo
"Not at all." He mumbled, a soft smile covering his face. You're just feeling anxious. He could care less about his shoes, and his foot is fine. He didn’t even realise you stepped on it. 'relax, deep breath' he sent, seeing you fill your chest and release as told.
Max — 'you're fine' 'don't overthink things'
y/n — '🥺' You were actually pouting.
Max — 'Do you want me to text him and apologise on your behalf?' 
A weird offer. Apologising to himself for you even though he wasn’t mad, but grateful he saw you today. 
y/n — 'NO!!!!' 'NO NO NO!' 
Max — 'Do you want me to get you a pass for the meet and greet?'
y/n — 'THAT'LL MAKE IT WORSEEE'
Max — 'Ok, ok' 
Max thought for a moment, sitting back. 'Count from one to ten' He was actually surprised that you did as told, listening to him, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath for ten seconds.
Max — 'What did you order?' Start a conversation, comfort and distract her. He's good at that.
y/n — 'A mocha, the one you told me about'
Max — 'You should try the cheesecake, the one with strawberry jam on top.' He typed back. 
y/n — 'I didn't see that on the menu?'
Max — 'Trust me' Max — 'You'll love it'
y/n — 'Ok, ok, i trust you a million' y/n — ‘But not right now’ y/n — 'I'll stop by after finishing with stuff at McLaren’ y/n — 'I'm not hungry rn’ y/n — 'Wish you were here'
Max — 'Yeah, i'd be stealing that cheesecake from you' 
y/n — 'Don't you dare!! 😠'
Max chuckled, you were really expressive with your face as you typed. He saw you frowning to match the emoji, but there was still a hint of a smile. He liked that smile, he loved it. He loved you overall. 
You were real. If only Amilian was real. If only he could sit beside you and tease and joke with you. 
Max — '🫵😏' 'Max texted me!'
y/n — 'WHAT?!!!!????!!' 
He could see you jump in your seat a little before trying to act cool even though it was clear you were anxious.
Max — 'He texted me about a cute girllllll who he bumped intooooo' 
y/n — 'AMILIAN COME PICK ME UPP 😭'
He couldn't help the smile that curled on his face.
Max — 'I’m joking, I’m joking' Max — 'hahaha' He leaned back, sighing happily.
y/n — 'ofc you are' y/n — 'No way he thinks i'm cute'
Max — 'I mean you dress up like it's fashion week' Max — 'Compared to him, he could use some advice'
y/n — 'His outfit is actually not that bad today' y/n — 'Baggy white pants!!' y/n — 'And a blue shirt!!!!!'
Max — 'Wow, you serious?' Max — 'No way' He typed even though he is wearing that.
y/n — 'tbh it makes him look even more pretty'
Max — 'Pretty?’ Max — ‘He's a guy' 
y/n — 'What, a guy can’t be pretty?' y/n — 'Max is cute’ y/n — ‘Especially when he's having fun and smiling'
Max — 'The guy looks like a gremlin.' He didn’t even realise he was smiling, feeling fuzzy inside. Max — ’Sid the sloth, Netflix rerun’
y/n — 'Don't insult him!!' y/n — 'Take it back' y/n — 'He’s handsome and beautiful and amazing!' y/n — 'Any woman would be lucky to have him'
Max — 'You just dug your own grave' Max — 'I believe you fall into the *any woman* category'
y/n — 'No no no, pleasee' y/n — 'You'll embarrass me'
Max —’That's my job’ Max — 'I'll simply put in a good word for you'
y/n —'amiliaaaaaan 😭😭'
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237 notes · View notes
miley1442111 · 18 hours
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choices and meetings- a.donaldson
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a/n: i imagined a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)
i'll probably do a few more parts of this because it's just so cute and sad :(
summary: the first conversation you two have after the break-up.
pairing: art donaldson x reader
warnings: angst, feelings of disappointment, hurt, allusions to an eating disorder, depression, etc. +
PART 1: choices and chances
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It had been 4 weeks since the break up. Both of you were miserable but you wouldn’t tell the other. There was no ‘hot guy from your science class’ that you were fucking, you just wanted to make him jealous. 
It did make him jealous. Very jealous. Just the idea of you being with someone else made his skin crawl. He’d essentially gone to every guy in that class to threaten to kill them if they even looked at you, he didn’t care if you weren’t his girlfriend anymore, he just needed some more time. He just needed you.
The only time you two interacted was during tennis sessions. You were being coached by the same person, so he made you do matches against each other. The last 4 weeks had been full of electrifying matches, often ending in Art smashing a racket or you stalking off in anger. 
But you were both playing so well. So, so well.
The matches were difficult and finally challenging. Art had never played so well, he was almost at your level, and even beat you a few times. Though, you were usually better. 
Once the rackets were packed away and you both left the court, it was like a scene in a romcom. Both of you wishing for the other, crying alone over one another, and wanting everything to be different. You regretted breaking up with him, but you knew you couldn’t take it anymore. His forgetfulness, his carelessness, his choices. He regretted breaking your heart. He missed you, your smile, your jokes, your laughs, your pretty face, your cute habits, your hands on his skin, the way you loved him, how he felt loved and wanted. Some things he’d never felt before. You were his first serious relationship, his first love, his first everything.
It came to the day of your final match against Serena O’Brien, an English tennis player. You were ready, you felt good. 
Then you looked into the crowd and saw Art, and everything went to shit. Your mind was clouded, you felt sick, you felt betrayed. Seeing him at school was one thing, that was controlled, you knew you’d see him at school. Seeing him here? Uncontrolled, unknown, and unfair.
You set your sights on the ball. The match started. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “That was some real tennis!” Your coach shouted, ecstatic at your win. The match was hard fought but she didn’t exactly have a chance, not when you were imagining the ball as Art’s face. 
“Thanks,” you smiled, though there was no happiness behind it, no pride in your win. Art walked onto the court behind him, an apologetic smile on his face. Art had noticed your changing habits in recent weeks as he tried to win you back. You were more irritable, less ‘there’, you ate less, you trained more, you stopped doing some of the things you actually enjoyed, like the literature class you just sat in on every Tuesday afternoon, or the cat nursery you used to volunteer at. 
But today, today he had a plan. He would speak to you, tell you he loved you and that he was sorry, then let you go. It’s what you deserved. You deserved someone who didn’t pick anyone else over you. You deserved someone as smart as you. You deserved someone as beautiful as you. You deserved someone as kind as you. You deserved someone as caring as you. You deserved an equal. Art did not see himself as equal to you. 
“That was amazing,” he smiled at you, walking onto the court. “You’re incredible.”
Your face fell. You didn’t want him to think your tennis was ‘incredible’, you wanted him to think you were incredible. “Thank you.”
“Can we talk?” He asked, itching the back of his neck and looking down.
“Sure,” you shrugged. All your anger had left the second you shut the door in his face. It was replaced by hurt and sadness. Feeling like you’re not your boyfriend’s priority is awful. Knowing who his priority actually is was worse. 
Art took your hand tentatively, and led you to the room you’d sat in before the match. He sat on a stack of boxes as you leant against the door beside him. His hand in yours made both of you reminiscent, electrified, and sad, all at the same time. His soft hands felt comfortable, familiar, right. 
Your hand in his felt blasphemous. You were so… perfect, he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve this conservation, he didn’t deserve a moment of your time, yet you gave him it. He didn’t want to ruin it, 
There was a long moment of silence. 
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he held your hand. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“It’s ok Art, people break up-”
“We don’t. We shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have let it happen, I love you too much for that,” he sniffled and your heart broke in two. Your boy, your sweet, kind Art was crying. 
“I’m such an idiot,” he whispered, looking down at the ground. He was trying to keep it together, but he’d never been good at hiding things when it came to you. Your thumb brushed back and forth on his skin, calming him. It made him cry all the harder, you were so caring, he’d hurt you so much, so deeply. And yet, you showed him a kindness he didn’t believe he deserved. “I’m such a fucking idiot.” 
“Art it just wasn’t working,” you sighed. “It’s alright. It’s no one’s fault.”
“It’s my fault,” He looked up at you with red-rimmed eyes, tears spilling from them. You took your hand and cupped his cheek, wiping them away. He leaned into your touch as if he'd missed it for an eternity. As if  he’d missed you for an eternity. Your hand on his cheek burned straight to his heart. Subconsciously he tried to commit the feeling to memory, in case this was the last time. “It’s all my fault.”
“You can’t beat yourself up about it. What we had was so good for so long. It just… there was too much going on, something had to give,” You bit your bottom lip to try and stop the tears falling from your eyes. The devastated expression on his face broke you. “I love you so much Art, but I’m hurt. So are you. You’ll be alright.” 
Art looked at you again and he started sobbing into your side, wrapping his arms around your waist. You looked up, attempting to preserve your composure. “I’m so sorry,” he cried into your side. “I love you so much. I love you so, so much.”
“I love you too much,” you croaked out. “You’re such a good person.”
That made Art cry harder. You still thought he was a good person after he hurt you. You still thought he deserved your love. You still loved him. You were comforting him, telling him it wasn’t his fault. It was all his fault. He was horrible to you, he was a bad boyfriend. 
“I miss you,” you whispered and his heart stopped. His plan was going awfully. You were too kind, too good for him. You should’ve hated him, yet you didn’t.
“I miss you too,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your hip. 
“This sucks,” you sadly chuckled as you allowed the tears to roll down your face. 
“It does,” he whispered against you. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s alright Art. We’re still friends, we’ll take care of each other, yeah?” You looked down at him and made eye contact. 
“Promise?” He whispered, holding his pinky finger up.
“Promise,” You whispered, interlocking your fingers. “I’m always here for you.”
“I love you,” he stood up beside you, closer than he probably should’ve been. His hands wrapped around your waist and out of pure instinct, you pressed a kiss to his cheek. He tasted like salty tears. You wiped his face again, a sad smile on your face. 
“We’re here for each other,” you swore. 
“Always.”
You opened the door behind you and walked out, making it the second hardest thing you’d even done, right after breaking up with him. 
He fell back into his seat, crying silently into his hands, chest heaving, eyes spilling, throat drying. 
He just made it 1000 times worse for himself, and you.
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art donaldson masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)
256 notes · View notes
momowritings · 3 days
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K i l l i n g M e S o f t l y
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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Female Reader
Summary: It's hard to compete with a ghost. Especially when that ghost was Toji Fushiguro's wife.
Wrd Ct: 20k
tags: angstyyy, established relationship, complicated relationships, non curse au, vaginal sex, missionary, wall sex (?), oral sex (f receiving), breeding kink, DILF Toji, grief/mourning, Toji is trying to be a good dad to Megumi, Toji has a praise kink, mentions of mamagumi, open ending
Part One, Part Two
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Part Two
You managed to speak a grand total of five words from the time you got into bed with Toji to the moment you all sat in the car to watch Megumi board the train. Good night, good morning, and thanks. He wasn’t going to take more than he was given, but the way you even avoided his gaze was really getting under his skin. Both of his hands were glued to the steering wheel as he drove, and the music playing from the radio was the only thing to break the heavy silence in the car. 
When you all arrived at the station, you held Megumi in your arms, giving him a tight hug. “Don’t be a stranger, alright? Please take care of yourself. And take your vitamins!”
Megumi laughed. “I’m still going to visit on the weekends.”
“I guess that’s true. I’m impressed that you go to a top school but it sucks that you have to live there. I was hoping to push off this experience until you got to college,” you sniffed. Megumi gave you one of his signature soft smiles.
“I’ll call you, I promise.”
“Thanks, Megs, but also, have fun. I’m not trying to smother you.” 
Behind you and Megumi was Toji who watched you talk. Megumi caught his gaze over your shoulder. Toji gave you both enough space that you weren’t within earshot so Megumi could speak freely. 
“I know it’s not really my place to talk about it…. but my dad really likes you. And I like having you around too. Please don’t give up on him yet.” 
Megumi eyed his father again who was fiddling with the handle of his suitcase, trying his best to look unbothered. Toji has a lot of faults, yes, but Megumi could tell that he was trying. Megumi hated to think that a good thing for his dad was going to end so soon.
“I’m trying to be more understanding,” you said honestly. You turned your head to the side, looking at Toji out of the corner of your eye. “And I love your dad. You don’t have to worry about us, okay?” 
You patted Megumi’s head and Toji finally came up behind you, giving his son an awkward pat down that was supposed to be a hug.
“Study hard. Remember how I taught you how to hold a knife and how to use it. Don’t stay out too late.” 
“Thanks, Dad.” 
You snorted at the short exchange, and you and Toji both watched Megumi get on board. You waved until the boy was too small to see through the window, then stood quietly together. 
“I need to visit my friend later today. I’ll probably stay over there tonight.” 
Toji raised his brow at you. You were really determined to stay away from him. 
“This is the first time you mentioned this.”
You shrugged your shoulders and started to make your way back to the car. “I can’t predict when her ain’t-shit boyfriend is going to break her heart.” 
Toji frowned. It didn’t have to be a double meaning, but he felt like it was. “Do you want me to drop you off?”
“Hmm, no thanks. If anything happens while I’m over there I’d like to have my own car.”
“Right… Anything else?”
You stood in front of the car door he opened for you. With your eyebrows drawn together you shook your head. “Are you expecting anything else?”
“No. Let’s go.”
Halfway back home you took Toji’s hand just to hold. You didn’t say anything, and he didn’t ask any questions, but when you laced each of your fingers in between his heart calmed down. He brought the back of your hand up to give it a kiss. Toji was getting into his own head. Maybe you weren’t trying to avoid him. He still had the chance to fix this. 
When you got home you went right to packing your bag for your overnight stay. Toji watched you at the doorway, his arms crossed and his frown deepening. Not that he didn’t care for your friend but fuck did she have the worst timing. You folded over one of his hoodies to put in a duffle bag and he walked up behind you, carefully holding your waist to not break the delicate beads that you wore, and rested his head on your shoulder. You took a shower in the morning but he could still smell the shea butter scents on your skin. He took a deep breath in and sighed. You continued to fold clothes into your bag, trying to ignore his wandering hands that had your breath catching. 
“What am I going to do with you gone?”
“I’m sure you’ll find some home project that needs improving,” you snorted.
“I’ll miss you. I mean it.” 
You turned around to meet Toji’s eyes and wrapped your arms behind his neck. He gripped you even tighter, your back curving to his touch. He wondered if you could hear how fast his heart was beating in his chest. The idea of you staying mad at him before you left was eating him up and he needed the reassurance that you two were okay. 
“Want me to cook something for you before I leave? I can make your favorite.”
Instead of answering, Toji hovered his mouth over yours. The tip of his nose brushed your cheeks, deciding on which side he should tilt his head. With parted lips you both shared the same air, silently waiting for the other to take the first step. 
“Can I kiss you?”
You released a breathy laugh. “Since when did you start asking?” He held your chin with his thumb, and he dipped your head back to cover your lips with his. With a familiar hunger he gently pushed you on the bed, fumbling to get your bag on the floor without spilling all the contents inside. 
“Toji–” you mumbled into his mouth, trying to clear the fog that was in your head. You weren’t mad, not as much as you were in the morning at least, but this still wasn’t the best idea. Not without having a serious conversation. 
However, talking could wait after he was done working his tongue on you. 
Toji left red hot trails down your body, littering your neck and chest until he got disrupted by your clothes. He took off your top with ease, taking time to admire your bronzy skin before resuming his worship. He lapped at one nipple and rolled the other with his thumb and forefinger until you were squirming beneath him, just to switch off and continue the tortuous process. Toji didn’t stop until you were panting. You grabbed a handful of his hair to pull him off your breast to smash your lips on his mouth. 
You directed his hand to cup your sex, grinding shamelessly to get him to move on. Toji grinned in the middle of the kiss. He loved it when you dropped your reservations and started to want him in the same fashion. Your fingers scraped his scalp and he groaned, resuming his path down the hills and valleys of your body, stopping once he reached your navel to slowly slip off your shorts. He swirled his tongue over your belly button while removing your shorts and it sent a shock up your spine. 
“You’re always into weird shit,” you groaned. Toji couldn’t do anything other than chuckle. He’s still on the tip of the iceberg of all the things he wanted to do to you, but he would get you there someday. With your legs bared he could finally see how you were dripping wet for him. Ever the tease he sucked on his two middle fingers, taking them out with an obnoxious pop to drag them over your folds. You arched your back to his touch, breathlessly urging him to give you more. 
“I thought you always say that I rush it,” he smirked. His fingers glided over your sex, rubbing circles on your clit before dipping inside of your heat. You mewled, twisting underneath him, your chest rising and falling rapidly. “You could always stay home so it could last longer.”
“Je- ah! -Jess needs me,” you whimpered when his fingers curled against your spot that brought tears to your eyes while putting his thumb on your clit. Tears brimmed your eyes, a look that Toji enjoyed looking at and he climbed up again to kiss them away. He licked the salty liquid off of his lips, straying from your eyes so he could reach the junction of your neck. Toji continued to stimulate both spots, his fingers reaching deep inside of you and his thumb drawing out moans from you until you were kicking the sheets on the bed. 
“I need you,” Toji murmured in your skin. He was unsure if you heard him. You gazed at him with watery eyes but you were too overcome with your speeding climax to catch what he said. He dropped to his knees, dragging you to the edge of the bed and threw your legs over his shoulders. He left butterfly soft kisses on the inside of your thighs, his fingers grazing over your quivering thighs until you gripped his hair.
“Don’t you wanna make it up to me?” You asked in a husky voice. The edges of your sentence trembled with anticipation and a challenge. His eyes widened then darkened at your words. He couldn’t really tell what you were thinking. He hated that; being left in the dark and completely at your mercy. This was his chance to have you only focus on him and how good he could make you feel. 
Toji buried himself nose deep in between your legs, lapping up your arousal and you thrashed around in his tight grip, drenching his tongue with your come. Your thighs threatened to crush his head between your thighs. Toji didn’t mind it, only continuing his onslaught against your sanity. Your hips drew back away from him, looking for a break only for his mouth to follow incessantly. It wasn’t until you dragged his head out from your cunt that you got relief, but as soon as you did you still wanted more. 
You could taste yourself on his tongue when you pulled him up, the remnants of your orgasm evident, shiny on his lips and down his chin. You were on your knees on the bed, making you the same height as him, and with your mouths welded together you worked your hands to get him out of his pants. Toji stood painfully hard. The moment you started to stroke his hot length a guttural groan escaped his lips. You kissed his jaw and neck until you got to his shirt. 
“Take this off,” you ordered in a thick voice, and within the next second his shirt was flung to some obscure corner of the room. You harshly bit his shoulder  once you had access to his pale skin, then ran your tongue over the area to soothe it. 
“You know how to take care of me, baby,” you whispered in his ear, telling him exactly what he needed to hear. Over time you learned that Toji enjoyed the praise that fell from your lips, craved for it. His ears would take a fiery shade when you complimented him outside of the bedroom, so naturally it carried on inside of it as well. You took only a moment to break away to spit in your hand, mixing the saliva and precum that gathered to glide over him. You bumped noses with Toji to get him to focus on your face. He looked at you through his dark lashes and you focused more on his frenulum, making a tight circle right below his tip and his eyes rolled back into his head. His hand that rested on your hip had nails that dug into your skin. You thumbed his slit and spoke in his ear again. 
“You’ve always been good to me,” you murmured. “Just take me like you mean it.”
You were on your back once again, pressed deep in the sheets with Toji deep in you. Every attempt to say his name was lost by his movements. Toji fucked you just as you asked, leaving no room for you to doubt him. He was rough, pushing you into different positions that made his length reach the end of you, his mouth sloppily covering yours until you were gasping for air. When he flipped you on your stomach, Toji’s unabashed moans went directly in your ear, fucking you through another orgasm out of you with his hand squeezing the front of your neck. He twisted, bit, and sucked your nipples so much prior that the collapsed position on the bed made them hypersensitive against the sheets. The tears rolling down your face attested to it. Your hands were clawing at the sheets from the overwhelming sensations. 
Toji wondered if you could feel the desperation coursing through him. The apologies he wasn’t good at, the sincerity, the need he has for you, his love. He hoped it all translated well with every touch even if it was rough around the edges. It wasn’t until you were shaking again, your cunt messy from another climax that his strokes shortened. Toji threaded his fingers through your hand that was outstretched above your head, and you latched onto him like a lifeline. You cried out when he slammed into you one last time, painting your insides white. 
He was resting in you, barely holding himself up to keep from crushing your frame completely. You shook off his hand that was holding him to snake it up to the back of his neck, pulling him down to your side for one last kiss. It was salty from sweat and tears yet sweet, clumsy, and reassuring. You were clearly tired, and he was still inside of you, but you were no longer in a rush to leave. You deflated back into the bed and Toji got up to get a wet cloth to wipe you down. Once you were clean he laid beside you and you gave him a sleepy smile, your eyelids half open. 
“You win, for now. I’m too tired to go anywhere right now. Wake me up in an hour,” you murmured, already falling asleep by the end of your sentence. You looked so peaceful when sleeping, like all was well and there were no problems between the two of you. Toji wished that he could sleep untroubled in the same manner, but all he could do was watch you drift away with his arms around you.
~*~
Toji stared at his empty phone after he got off of a call with you. You had just let him know that you were at your friend’s house, and Megumi was away doing school stuff, so he was alone on a weekend, something that hasn’t happened in a very long time.
He poked at the device, his mind wandering. There were things to do, he would find something to do, but instead he typed in “therapists near me” in the search engine. It couldn’t be that bad. You were right, he never officially went through a grieving process, whatever the hell that meant. His wife died and the next ten years were a blur. He happened to run into his son and Megumi didn’t even know who he was. He never knew how much he looked like his mother and it snapped something back into place in Toji’s brain. All he knew is that he had to fix what he ruined all those years ago.
The fixing was still in process, and Megumi lets him off the hook way more than he fucking should, but maybe that’s why the mistakes and dreams were happening so often. Toji got his son back, he found you, and his life was… normal. It was something that he wanted since he was a child, but it came only after her death. His stormy life has finally become calm and now he has to sift through the broken pieces left behind. 
Toji turned off his phone after reading reviews of a counselor. They all seemed full of shit. Clients talked about their feelings for a month and suddenly they were doing a lot better? Right. The feelings he had will pass, they always do. He didn’t need someone to tell him that what happened all those years ago fucked with his mind. The gap in his memory was a clear indicator already. He didn’t want to go poking around there either. 
After long deliberation Toji decided to go to a bar he used to frequent in the beginning of the relationship. The both of you became homebodies the longer you dated, but after he brought you there the first time it was the one place he found that the two of you could agree on going first and letting the night play out after when you weren’t to sure on what else do to for date nights but wanted to get out of the house. Upon entering and taking his section on the counter the familiar face of one of the bartenders came to serve him. With a smile without words she immediately started to prepare a cosmo for him out of habit, because it was something you ordered. Toji had to stop the bartender once he realized what she was doing. 
“She’s not with me tonight.”
Her eyes went wide with surprise. The only woman Toji continually had around him was suddenly no longer here. Toji could see the stories building up in her head and immediately put a stop to it. 
“She’s out with her friend. Girl’s night.”
“Ah, that makes sense. I was worried there for a second,” the bartender giggled. “Just water for you still?” 
“Actually, I’ll have a glass of whisky. Neat.”
Once again the eyebrows on the bartender almost touched her hairline. He has never taken a sip of alcohol no matter how many times he stepped foot inside of the bar, no matter what sugary concoction you ordered, so she never thought she’d see the day. She snapped out of her astonishment when Toji gave her an annoyed stare and quickly made his glass. She slid it over to him and he drank it in a flash. 
“Another one,” he ordered, and gingerly she took the glass. 
Toji eyed the TV overhead, half listening to the program playing when he heard a familiar voice come from beside him. The bartender handed him his second glass when the guest guffawed at Toji. 
“I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” A sharply dressed Korean man slipped into the seat next to Toji at the bar and it made him gawk for a second. As always, a cigarette hung from the other man’s lips, unlit and carefully balanced. His tie that he usually wore was nowhere around his neck, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.
“Well you did say the only time you ever want to see me again is in hell,” Toji remarked after the moment of unexpectedness passed. 
“That I did say. Almost thought I died for a second.” Toji gave the man a side eye, then they both let out wry laughs. 
“What are you doing here, Shiu?” 
“Nothing you’re interested in. I heard you retired.”
“Heard right,” Toji grunted. He stared down his glass and downed the rest of the ambery liquid. It stung on the way down, but he was on the third glass and still didn’t feel any buzz like he had hoped. Drinking never did much for Toji. He didn’t know why he thought tonight would be any different.
“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” Shiu shook his head in disbelief. He worked with Toji when he was at his lowest for years doing unsavory business. He knew that he was dealing with a broken man, someone who would take anything that was given to him because it would be better than working with his blood relatives, so when the news finally got around to him he couldn’t believe that Toji finally decided to stop working underground. He had a hard time imagining what Toji could do anywhere else. Seeing him in the flesh, alive and relatively well was a sight to behold. 
“Usually I wouldn’t pry because it’s none of my goddamn business, but I’m feeling a little loose tonight. What made you leave? What do you do now?”
Toji waved down the bartender to fill his glass once again, and he gulped the drink down with a sigh before answering. “I got my kid back and I teach other spineless fuckers how to defend themselves for a living.” 
Shiu gave him an incredulous look. “Megumi lives with you? And you just help people now?”
“Yeah. Why do you look like that’s impossible for me to do or something?”
“The last time I asked you about your kid you didn’t even remember his name and you used to blow people’s brains out for cash. Sorry if I find it hard to believe,” Shiu chuckled. 
“Better believe it.”
“So what’s the problem? I find you here after all this time, drinking when you told me before that it has no effect on you. The only other thing that made you this way was lady issues.” 
Toji ran his finger over the edge of his glass silently. If Shiu wasn’t being annoying before, he was now. 
“Seriously? You? You married again? Third time’s the charm,” Shiu winked.
“I’m not married.”
“If she’s not your wife then why the hell are you moping around like this?”
“Fucking hell, Shiu. I like you better when you don’t talk.” 
“Suck it up. You’ve piqued my interest.” 
Shiu finally lit the cigarette that he held in his lips and called the bartender over for his drink. After a long drag, Shiu released the smoke. It billowed up in front of both of the men, its tendrils grazing Toji’s face that made his nose itch. 
“So you got a woman. She’s not your wife but what, you’re thinking about marrying her? Being nervous about that kind of thing is not something I believe would bother you so no, that’s not it. But maybe it is. Maybe marriage isn’t the problem right now, but it will be pretty soon. And seeing how you suddenly got soft, a fight that you guys had is shaking you up. You’ve always been pretty attentive to the few women in your life that you actually liked outside of a place to sleep.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Toji gritted. 
 “Right on the money,” Shiu smirked. “I happen to like you more when you don’t take yourself as seriously. So what is it? She must be terrible and won’t let you do anything or you guys are fighting all the time and you’re starting to think it’s not worth it.” 
“Neither. Believe it or not, I’m the problem.” 
“I figured. I was just trying to be on your side for a little bit.”
Toji stared down at the empty cup as he spoke. The words were moving faster than the ability he had to actually process what he was admitting to. It seems like all the drinks were finally catching up to him. He confessed everything before he could bring himself to shut up. 
“We’ll be doing great, her and I, and then Megumi’s mom starts showing up again. She lurks in my mind, haunts my dreams, creeps into our lives. I'm calling my late wife’s name instead of her and it’s breaking her down. She doesn’t even want to be around me right now.” 
It was so silent between them that Toji had to look up to Shiu. He had the stick between his fingers, the ember smoldering and Shiu’s eyebrows were raised for the umpteenth time. 
“Of all the things you could have said, I wasn’t expecting that. Could you blame the girl?” “Why do you think I’m here?”
“Give her some time to cool off but you fucked up.”
Toji tried to wave the bartender over once again but Shiu stopped him. Toji gave him a hard stare, one that could kill a man if the man wasn’t Shiu. 
“I know you don’t do this often but you will be shit faced if you keep that up. Leave now while you can still walk in a straight line.”
“Yeah right.” Toji shrugged him off. He didn’t feel that much different, but he took Shiu’s advice. He left a hefty tip in his place and left the bar, getting in his car and driving on autopilot until he suddenly was in front of a graveyard. Toji hasn’t been here before, even the day that they buried her. He was just told the location and avoided it at all costs. 
Your voice rings in his ear again, telling him that he could talk to you about his wife if it made it easier. It still baffled him how he managed to find someone as understanding as you when he didn’t even have the balls to attend the funeral. Her grave was, as expected, large, gray, and cold. He stood in front of it, not saying anything, dusting off the leaves that piled on the top of the stone. 
“I met someone new,” he started, shocking himself but he kept going. “I think you’d like her. She’s like you in some things, completely different in others.” 
Wind blew through Toji’s hair and he realized that he left his jacket in the car. Or maybe at the bar. He hoped that wherever you were you had a jacket. You got cold so easily, your fingers turning to icicles at the slightest temperature drop. 
“I’m taking care of Megumi the best way I can. I fucked up in the beginning, almost ruined everything, but he’s a great kid. All his best qualities are from you.” Toji sighed and looked up at the starless sky. There was no moon either, just an expanse of darkness that stretched in all directions. A helicopter with blinking lights passed through his vision, breaking the sea of black.
“I love her. You’d probably say some shit like you want me to be happy, and I’m trying to be. It’s harder than it looks,” Toji huffed out a dry laugh. He looked back at the grave.
“Thank you.”
~*~
When you showed up to Jess' place she was exactly how you expected her to be; angry. She had heavy metal music blaring through her speaker so loud you worried for her neighbors. She was actually in a much better mood than you expected. Before when she had first broken up with her boyfriend (along with the second and third time), you were welcomed to big, soppy tears running down her face and a handful of tissues clenched tight in her fist. You guessed that with each breakup Jess hardened her heart more until there were no more tears left to give and only anger remained.
You let her get her emotions out, tidying up the place while she told you every shitty thing her boyfriend did, things that you had said that he was going to do because you already knew that he was bad news, until she was out of breath from screaming and talking and finally sat down on the couch with you. 
“Feeling better now, babe?”
Jess held a pillow in front of her and her face was obscured by it, her answer coming out muffled. “No.” 
“But you will be. He was only holding you back,” you reassured. 
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I hope he falls in a ditch somewhere.”
“Me too,” you said, handing her a wine glass and you both sat in silence for a few beats. You were lost in your thoughts full of Toji when Jess called out your name. 
“Your boyfriend– his last name is Fushiguro, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I was talking to a client today. More like listening in on his conversation. Real sick fucker, kept calling all the girls sluts and whores, and not in a cute way. Unfortunately, he wanted me to dance for him in the booth, and I heard him talk about Toji. I mean, I don't know about you, but I don’t think that there’s that many Toji's out there. Anyway, this blond motherfucker keeps talking about trying to find a way to bring Toji back into the family. Whether he means that literally or it’s some yakuza shit, I don’t know. What I do know is that he said that he wished he knew if Toji was with anybody so that they can use them to bring him in. Obviously your Toji’s girlfriend now, and you mentioned that he used to have a wife. I just thought it was strange. This guy’s last name was Zen’in though. He mentioned it like, 50 times. I think he’s supposed to be important.”
“It’s gotta be some type of coincidence.”
“Yeah, I fucking hope so. Do you really know Toji? I mean blondie was a bitchboy but the other guys he was surrounded with… I don’t know. If it is your Toji, he’s dangerous.”
“… Toji isn’t like that.”
Jess gave you a hard stare. Neither of you believed the lie you were trying to convince yourself of. You knew that Toji must be a lot more dangerous than he let on, but it seemed to be in the past. 
“Anymore! Whatever he did before he met me is none of my concern. He has a kid that he’s very devoted to and he’s been… well he says that he loves me. I just have to trust him.”
“Right, until he gets you killed.”
“Jess!”
“Don’t shoot the messenger! I’m not wishing any harm on you, just be careful.” 
“Oh wow thanks for putting that thought in my head,” you sarcastically grumbled. You huddled yourself in a small ball on her couch and didn’t notice Jess studying you intensely. 
“So what’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you barely talked about Toji since you came in.”
You gave you a pointed look. “You called me on the phone crying that you're finally over your boyfriend and I’m supposed to talk about mine?”
“True… but this feels different. You didn’t even bring him up in passing. You’ve said nothing about Toji.”
“Right now it is about you, love.” It was a dodgy answer, both you and Jess knew it, and she stared you down until you cracked and told her what had happened the night before and everything preceding it. She winced at the mention of Toji’s late wife the same time you did and went into deep thought. 
“So how are you feeling?”
“Like an asshole. I know it’s really not his fault.”
“You have been dating for how long now?”
“Gonna be six months pretty soon.”
“Six months? You’re better than me,” Jess side-eyed you. 
“He was married. That’s a big deal.” You didn’t even know why you were getting defense for Toji. It’s been bothering you too, a lot more than you let out to him. Now you felt like you actually had a reason to pull back instead of it all being in your head. 
“Married yeah, but been with you for a while now. You’d think he’d try not to mix you up. What if… what if you’re a replacement? Like he doesn’t actually see you. ”
The thought has crossed your mind before and you fell into a deep silence. If you had been asked this just a few weeks ago you would’ve confidently been able to say no. However, now… now it seemed totally plausible. 
“You could remind him of his wife so much and that’s why he likes you.”
“Stop,” you muttered, but Jess didn’t hear you. 
“I know you don’t know anybody who was close to her but what if you two look alike? What if—“
“Shut up! What is wrong with you?” 
“I was just saying—“
“It’s his late wife, and I’m not anything like her.” Your voice was cold and heavy, settling in the air with a deadly finality. Jess was stunned, but then she gave you a saddened smile. 
“You don’t know that, but you’re right, I'm meddling again. You know what we should do? Go out. I’m tired of being the entertainer, I want to be entertained.” 
You were grateful for the change of sec energy after the conversation, even if you had to get ready in a whirlwind. Jess put you in one of her dresses and you were glad that you two were similar sizes and styles. You choses a simple silk dress that went down just past your knees with a high collar but an open back. Jess, who never gave up the chance to show off her legs, donned a plum dress with a halter neck and a skirt that flared and stopped mid thigh . Low yet stylish black heels were clad to both of your feet, as you decided that you would take a taxi and walk to the club instead of trying to find parking with your car. To your surprise Jess chose a jazz club, and music poured from the open door down the street, soothing and flowing like honey that calmed your soul. Immediately you thought of how you would love to go here again with Toji and you shook the thought out of your head. 
“I'm here with Jess,” you muttered to yourself. 
 Jess turned around and cocked her head to the side. “Did you say something?”
“No. Nothing. Let’s head inside.” 
“Are you sure you’re okay?” 
The night was supposed to be about Jess, and you weren’t going to let her focus on you like this. You dragged her inside of the establishment, your eyes adjusting to the dimly lit space covered in a thin veil of smoke. You couldn’t hear it from the sidewalk, but now inside here was a woman singing on the stage. The embodiment of old Hollywood, a silver sequined dress glittered on her smooth, caramel skin as she sang romantically into the mic. Her body swayed side to side, getting lost in the music, drowning in it, and you wished that you could be absorbed by the melody like she was. 
It was Jess’s turn to drag you around since you fell into the trance of the singer, and she chose a booth tucked away on the wall. You still had a great view of the stage, but close enough to the bar.
Jess went to do her thing, standing at the bar and sitting pretty and batting her eyes to the people around her. It didn’t take long for a drink to be offered to her, and it worked like a charm every single time. You had thought that was the case for you as well when a strawberry margarita was brought to you at the table by a waiter, but when they pointed in a direction opposite of Jess you were more inclined to search for the sender. 
A familiar face, or rather faces, gazed back at you. White tufts of icy hair, crystalline blue eyes peering about black circular shaded, and a million watt smile flashed at you while the other face had dark pupils and sharper eyes, but a comforting grin you knew well. 
You waved for Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto to come over to your section with a wide smile. 
“Satoru? Suguru? What are you guys doing here?”
You stood up to hug the both of them and inspected their faces. It has only been a few years since you last saw them in college. Gojo’s hands remained on your back while Surugu gave you a recap of the last few years without you. Just then, Jess came back with two drinks in her hand and a confused look. You quickly introduced her to your old friends. 
“Jess! This is Suguru and Satoru… I met them back in college,” you explained. As soon as Suguru’s name left your mouth Jess zeroed in on him with a seductive stare. 
“So you're one of her friends. I was afraid that I was the only one she got,” Jess purred. She didn't even bother with Satoru, only giving him a quick nod of acknowledgement before giving her undivided attention back to Suguru. 
“It looks like you’ve been taking good care of her,” Suguru praised, returning the interest with his own heavy gaze. When he took Jess’s hand you couldn’t believe your eyes. You lost your friend to Suguru the moment he opened his mouth. Turning to Toru instead, you pulled him down to sit next to you. 
“While they do that over there,” you said, “Tell me what’s been going on with you! Are you still drinking straight sugar for the hell of it?” “Ha-ha,” Satoru laughed dryly. A bright smile was still plastered on his face. You took him in full, his casual black t-shirt and thighs clad with dark washed jeans, and his signature black frames pushing up his hair and framing his face. He wore a fresh and sweet smelling cologne that even you would get. On the outside, Satoru seemed great. However, you’ve known him for a long time, managed to become someone who he cared enough about to call a friend and you took the title seriously. You knew how well he hides his emotions because he’d rather keep things light. He did it extremely well that sometimes it was hard to tell what exactly could be wrong. 
“Stop psychoanalyzing me before you burn holes through my head. 
“That’s my line, high beams.” you shoved him with your shoulder. “I just feel like we never talk anymore. I’ve missed you.”
A sly smile crept over his face. “Told you that America wasn’t all that. You just had to learn it the hard way.” “Yeah, you’re right there.” You took large gulps of your drink until it was finished and sighed. Gojo raised his brow.
“What’s that about?”
“Ask me after my third drink,” you said, calling the waiter over. 
“Drinking away your woes has never worked for you. In fact, I remember when you drank so much you got confused and said that I was kidnapping you.” 
You threw your head in your hands. “That was one time!” Heat started to creep up your face as Gojo recounted all your embarrassing drinking moments. 
“One time? Maybe the kidnapper thing, sure, but then there was the time that you broke down sobbing, and I mean big fat tears rolling down your face, at a deer just crossing the road. You tried to take it home with you.”
You groaned but there was humor in it. You’ve seen the videos of how you act around animals, and Gojo was never too far, oftentimes scooping you up to take you home since you could barely walk. He kept good care of you whenever you went out. 
“Suddenly you think that every animal is the most beautiful creature in the world and you get sad that they don’t know that.” “It’s true. There’s only eight species that can identify themselves in the mirror.” “Of course you know that. Nerd.”
“Shut up,” you laugh. “I’m the nerd while you have an electrical engineering degree?”
“Would geek fit better? You’re the one who becomes a hyper vigilant Snow White when you get drunk, spewing animal and space facts just cause.” 
“I’m not gonna stop drinking and I'm not apologizing. I give you valuable information whether you know it or not,” you shrug. Your next drink was brought to you, and you tried to drink it a little slower through the straw. It didn’t work, as you were suckling on it faster than expected as Gojo caught you up on his personal life. He always amazed you with all the projects he had going on simultaneously. It made your head spin, but you held deep respect for him. For the care free act he put on he was incredibly considerate of those who were younger than him, and always ready to challenge those above him if he thought they were out of line. You envied Satoru’s assertiveness, and when you finally got to your third drink, he asked you what was wrong once again. 
“Just silly relationship stuff. I’ll get over myself soon enough,” you tried to wave him off. Your tolerance was nothing like it was during college, and your words were starting to slow and crash into each other. You nursed the drink close to your chest and Satoru sighed. He pulled it out of your hand, resting the glass on the table while you whined. 
“Toruuuu, stop.”
“Tell me what’s really wrong. You get everybody to talk about their feelings and shit but you want people to overlook yours.” 
“It’s nothing to worry about,” you mumbled.  “I came out tonight to forget about the whole thing.”
On the floor Suguru and Jess swayed in each other’s arms, whispering in each other’s ear and giggling. He looked at her with such adoring eyes, something much deeper than the lust you first saw. Jess was a bubbly mess in his arms but she was enjoying herself. When his back was facing you she gave you an ecstatic look, mouthing a “thank you” that made you smirk. 
You could never get Toji to dance with you. Said it wasn't his thing, and after a couple times of asking and being rejected you dropped the matter altogether. It didn’t make you want to dance any less, it hurts all the same. Gojo saw you looking at all the couples circling around and slid out of the booth. He offered you his hand, and you raised your brow suspiciously. 
“What? You don’t like dancing anymore?”
Gojo wasn’t Toji, and you have never compared them in your mind ever before, but in that moment you had wished that Toji would be a little bit like him. You took Toru’s hand and he took you to the small dance floor, twirling you around to the song. You barely caught the lyrics, but it was a sweet melody about first love. You rested your cheek on Gojo’s chest and he carried the tempo of your dance. 
“Thank you, Satoru,” you muttered, sure that he didn’t hear you. But he did, and he leaned back to look down at you with concerned eyes. 
“I haven't done anything yet. What did your boyfriend do to you?”
Your bottom lip wavered to answer, ready to spill your troubled heart’s concerns when the slow song ended and an upbeat instrumental song started to play. Trumpets were introduced, charging the air with electricity and everybody on the floor started to dance more vigorously. Your face lit up, already forgetting what you were about to say and you twisted and spun around with Gojo, matching the beat, flowing to the rhythm, laughing just as happily as the music sounded. You only went back once to finish off your drink, and you danced until your feet were throbbing. Before Jess left the dancefloor she winked at you and told you that she would be leaving with Surguru, giving you a sly smile. Gojo offered to take you home, and drunkenly you agreed. 
You sang badly to the radio on the drive back to your place, basically yelling songs into Satoru’s ear but he joined in with you, singing right back to you. He matched your energy until you were dissolving into a fit of giggles from singing lyrics entirely backwards. When reached your home Gojo held your heels and bag in his hands while you tiptoed across the stones to get to the front door. 
“Bag please!” 
“Still have manners even when you're drunk,” Gojo laughed. He held your purse open for you to rummage through. You were both looming over the purse and accidentally bumped heads. Gojo’s hand immediately went to rub your forehead instead of his own and you nervously giggled. 
“Careful. You could’ve given me a concussion with that hard head of yours,” he teased.
“Oh fuck you,” you laughed. Your eyes were trapped by his until his lips became the prettier picture. Always pink and plush, you started to drift closer to his face until you finally got some sense. 
 “God Satoru, why did you have to come back now?” You tore your eyes away from his lips and shoved your face in his shoulder. Gojo wasn’t going to stop you from kissing him. He should have if he was a better man. However, he has always wanted to be with you, and you never gave him the chance, so he would’ve taken anything you gave him. Now that he has settled down, he would have been your boyfriend. 
He spoke first to break the silence. “Do you have a headache?” 
“No… I should get my keys now. I’m cold,” you mumbled. 
You couldn’t find your keys in the bag, and you patted yourself down as if you had them in your pockets but you were wearing a very pocketless dress. He could already see the tears forming on your lash line and wanted to soothe you. 
“What if they're at Jess’ place?” Satoru said to calm you down. 
“Why would Jess steal my keys? I thought we were friends?” You were about to start crying. Just then, the front door opened, and Gojo was greeted by a face he never thought he’d see again. 
“Fushiguro?”
“Toji!” 
You jumped in Toji’s arms and he caught you with ease. He came to the front door because of all the noise he was hearing. Never would he had thought that it was Sataru fucking Gojo and his woman bickering outside. 
“Toji I missed you so much. I sent pictures. Did you see them?”
“Yeah. I saw them. You’re gorgeous.” Each word came out with daggers thrown in Gojo's direction.
Toji’s grip on your waist got tighter as you peppered his face with kisses, his stare unbroken from Gojo’s. The first and last target that he wasn’t able to kill all those years ago came back to bite him in the ass. Of course you of all people knew who Gojo was. Gojo looked at the scene like he walked into an alternate universe. You were with Toji. Toji was with you. This was the man that had you moping at the club. 
“Thank you, Sa–Satoru,” you hiccuped. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“You do the same. And let me know if you have any other relationship issues you want to talk about,” he smirked to Toji, and the other man scowled. 
“I told you, it’s nothing,” you said in a sing-song voice. “I’m really sleepy now.”
“I bet you are,” Toji said in your ear. Toji gave Gojo one last look. There was no real emotion on his face anymore. Satoru was only able to thinly veil the annoyance in his voice when Toji dismissed him. “Let’s go to bed.” 
Once inside you led Toji to the bathroom, stripping down naked and stepping straight into the shower. You beckoned him to join you, and he grabbed your shower cap that you forgot so you don’t get your hair wet. Toji took the washcloth from your hands, wanting to wash you himself. This was routine to him, something that made him feel calm. You had the faint smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke lingering on your skin, yet there was still your natural scent of you underneath. He kissed your shoulder, turning you back into the spray of the water, and you peered up at him. You brushed his hair out of his forehead to see him clearly. 
“Did I mention how I missed you?” You giggled. 
“I missed you too, doll.” 
Toji lifted your chin up to look at him. His thumb rubbed the flat surface right below your lip and he kissed you softly once. It wasn’t even a whole day since you were gone and he had missed this feeling more than you could know. The touch of your lips was enough to get him hard, and it was starting to show. 
“I’m never gonna drink again,” you groaned, dropping your head into his chest. “Thank god I don’t have work tomorrow.” “You’re really lucky,” he mumbled. “How do you… who was that guy?” 
You took your washcloth out of his hand and grabbed his own. After lathering it with soap you started to scrub him down, admiring his body in the lowlight.“What guy?” 
“That guy that brought you home,” Toji said through clenched teeth. 
“Toru? He’s just a friend.” 
You even had a nickname for him. 
“Just friends? Since when?” Toji hated the way he sounded. It was needy, prying, totally unlike him. He shouldn’t give a damn, you were back in his arms, going to sleep in his bed. Why couldn’t he just let it go?
“Since uni. We weren’t in the same college but our friend groups overlapped.” 
“That’s it?”
You slowed the way you washed him. The questions started to feel more loaded, and you were sobering up. Your eyebrows were drawn together when you answered. 
“I mean, yeah? I never dated him, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.” 
“I thought you went out with Jess.” Not a question this time, yet the air felt heavier. You were aware of how cold the water was when you usually like to take hot showers. 
“I was with her. She wanted to go to this jazz club and we met up with friends. Jess left with a guy and Toru took me home.” 
“Isn’t he such a great guy,” Toji said through clenched teeth. “So instead of calling me you climbed into some bastard’s car, drunk , at one in the morning.” 
“He’s not just some guy, Toji. I’m sorry, I should’ve called you but I know him.” 
“That’s what you think,” Toji scoffed. 
You scoffed right back at him, now crossing your arms over your chest. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 
Toji was getting too emotional. He tried to grab the washcloth out of your hand but you stopped him. You both gave each other hard stares with anger seeping into both of your expressions. Toji already spoke too much, ready to let it go, but you were just getting started. 
“You can’t just move past that. What’s the problem this time?”
Toji rolled his eyes. “You make it sound like I always have a problem.” 
“I wouldn’t know, you never tell me anything,” you fired back. 
“There’s no problem. We’re wasting water.” 
You turned the faucet so the shower stopped then stood your ground. This was a side of you that Toji didn’t see often. The stubborn one, the immovable object against his usually unstoppable force. He would be on the sidelines when this happened, watching you deal with family members or other people outside with this unwavering spirit that wouldn’t back down, but now it was turned on him. 
“There. Water’s not wasting. You want to get something off your chest? Say it.” 
“I just didn’t think I’d have to tell you to call for me if you wanted to come home. I know your phone wasn’t broken because you sent me pictures. I expect you to tell me where you’re going and call me when you want to leave. I think that’s the least you can fucking do,” he said through gritted teeth.
You pinched your eyebrows together. “I was drunk Toji, and it was a quick decision that really doesn’t mean anything.” In the back of your head you knew that you sounded like a hypocrite. What he was asking wasn’t a hard request. In fact, it was the very same thing you had asked of Toji when you first started to date. Toji would just up and disappear for hours. Granted, you could always find him at his dojo or in his garage, but he never told you that. You didn’t want to know every little thing that he was doing but a general “I’m okay” would suffice. You knew this, yet you still couldn’t stop the malice crawling up your throat.
“The least you could do is call me by the right name but I guess we’re both having problems with simple tasks.”
Your words rang in the air for a long while. You wanted to regret them coming out of your mouth but you didn’t. It’s been eating you up since you heard her name. She must’ve been a gorgeous lady with a name like that. You couldn’t find any information on her, and it’s not like Toji kept pictures around, yet Toji’s late wife haunted you. Somebody that you have never met had permanent residence in your head. It made you sick. 
You took things to hell and Toji didn’t push back. He didn’t know how else to comfort you, to convince you that he was in love with you, now, and always has been. Flashes of Toji going to see her grave earlier popped into his mind. Even though he was there, all he could think about was you. Toji thought he couldn’t explain himself that well, so he settled for something else.
“You’re not her and I don’t want you to be .” 
Hot tears ran down your face before you even knew that they were there. Toji cupped your face and used his thumb to wipe away your tears. “I thought I could let go of this. I thought I would be mature enough about this whole situation but I’m not. I can see it in your eyes, Toji,” you sobbed. “It only happened one time but if another slip up like that happened I won’t be able to handle it. I think– I think I need a break.” 
Toji froze. You held his wrists and pried them off of his face, putting them back to his side and wiped your nose with the back of your hands. The cold was starting to settle in his bone, a chill that he was familiar with but alway unprepared for. He waited for you to explain yourself and you sucked in a deep breath. 
“We did this whole thing pretty fast, don’t you think? I mean– it’s just–”
“A break. You want to leave.” 
You tried to clear up the confusion. “I want to have some time to think. That’s all. Stay at my place for a little while. I need to think everything through.” 
“Think what through? So what, I’ve been keeping you hostage? Forcing you to be with me the whole time? Fine, go ahead.” 
Blood was rushing in Toji’s ears; he could barely hear his own voice. He left you behind in the shower stumbling over your own words to calm him down. Take a break. What a stupid fucking concept. If you want to leave, just say that. Why would he hold hope for you to come back to him? 
“Toji, wait. Listen to me!” You hastily wrapped a towel around your body, calling behind him but he was not stopping. 
“You already said everything. Go pack your stuff already. I won’t be holding you back anymore.”
“I didn’t mean it like that–”
“What the hell could you have meant?” He growled. He regretted it the second you shrank away from him. It was never Toji’s intention to make you feel small. He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. 
“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you whispered. The glassiness in your eyes was not lost to him. You stomped back into the bathroom, coming out with your toiletries in a basket and putting them on the floor. From the closet you brought out your suitcase you had bought the time you had flown to Malaysia with Toji. You started to open the dressers, throwing your  clothes haphazardly inside. You put on your clothes to ditch the towel and grabbed everything that was yours on top of the dresser. 
“Stop,” Toji said in a low voice. If you genuinely didn’t hear him or ignored him, he couldn’t tell. You continued to move like a whirlwind around the room. 
“Stop. Just stop,” he repeated, grabbing your arm and you reeled away like he was a red hot iron rod. 
“I just wanted you to be better, Toji. That’s all I ever wanted. You’re not the only one who’s dealt with loss, you know? There are steps you can take and you refused them all and I am tired . I love you but clearly that’s not enough anymore. If you love me, let me go.” 
The white in your eyes and the tip of your nose was tinged red. The tiredness that you spoke of physically manifested itself, and Toji saw just how much of a toll it was taking on your body. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore.
“It’s not safe to leave right now. Wait until the morning. Please.”
The “please” was your undoing. Not only was he right, but you also didn’t have your keys. They were still at Jess’ place and getting a ride this early in the morning would be impossible. You gave him a curt nod. 
“You sleep here. I’ll sleep in the living room.” 
You didn’t say anything to him when he left the room. Toji sat on the couch plunged in darkness, listening to you shuffle around in the shared bedroom until the light went out. He sat there until the sun rose from the horizon and he didn’t remember when he actually fell asleep. He didn’t dream of anything. All he knew is that when he finally came to you were gone, your stuff cleared out as much as it could be with a note to throw everything else out.
~*~
Toji’s finger hovered over your name on his phone. He shouldn’t call you. He’s the one who pushed you away, told you to leave if that’s what you wanted to do. But after seeing you tonight for the first time in weeks, at the bar that you used to go to together, with with that white haired fucker you looked happy. You were as gorgeous as always, and Toji could almost taste the lip gloss that you were wearing, knew the exact shade it was as it left a mark on the glass you drank. You hung off Gojo’s body, hooking your arms with his, resting your head on his shoulder, giggling and holding his face the whole night. Toji was sure that neither of you saw him, and watching the both of you felt like he was intruding. Jealousy reared its nasty head on Toji, making his chest tight. He wondered how long you’ve known him for. You never brought Gojo up before, not once, but his past always had a funny way of sneaking up on him. Toji left before he did something reckless. 
He couldn’t be mad at anyone other than himself. Now he sat in his car after spending hours driving around the city to clear his head, time slipping through his fingers. Toji’s phone dimmed, a sign of inactivity from his inability to make a decision. He hasn’t been able to reach you in weeks. Every call went to voicemail, but lately they’ve been ringing through with no answer. You must’ve blocked him, but he’s unblocked now, right? The worst that could happen is that you don’t pick up, again, or he could call and call like he’s been doing and you do pick up, but only to tell him to never speak to you again. It would be deserved, but at least he’ll get to hear your voice one last time. 
“Fuck it,” he muttered, pressing the call button and waits. The first ring goes though, then the second, then the third. “Come on,” he urged. You always have your phone on you. He imagined you sitting down somewhere, just watching his call vibrate your phone. Finally, on the last ring the screen changed, the time starting to show that you had picked up. 
“Hello?” It didn’t sound like you were in the middle of anything, but it was hard to tell. You could’ve been laid right up underneath Gojo for all Toji knows. You didn’t sound angry either. There was surprise in your voice, but nothing else. 
“Hello? Toji, are you alright?” 
He spent so much time analyzing your voice he forgot to actually respond. He cleared his voice before answering. “I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Tired.”  You shifted, the sound of sheets settling around you and Toji tried to imagine where you were. Hopefully in your own bed with no one else in it. “Is– Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened. Megumi’s okay too,” he said before you could ask. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
 It was a truthful admission, even if it stirred from jealousy. Nothing could be heard from your line besides your soft breathing. Toji’s finger impatiently tapped on the steering wheel. Usually when he says that he likes the sound of your voice you would turn your face away from him to hide the lopsided grin that would grow on your face. He wondered if you were fighting back the same reaction now. 
“Oh,” is all you said. Oh . Oh well? Oh no? Oh what?  
“I’m going to come over. Is that alright?” 
“Right now?”
“Yes. Now.”
“Why?” 
Toji already started to drive in your direction. He needed to have more than just your voice. He didn’t want to end things with you like this. He didn’t want it to end at all. 
“What, are you busy or something? Got somebody over there?”
“No. I just wasn’t expecting a visit so soon. And I’m surprised that you even asked. Usually you just show up at my place like it's yours too,” you laughed. Music to his ears, that what your laugh was to him. 
“I thought I would use those manners you’re always talking about. I’ll be there in twenty.” 
You sighed heavily. “Bab– Toji. I don’t think this is a good–”
“I just want to talk.” 
“Just talk?” 
“If that’s what you want.” 
“Don’t flip this on me. I tried talking to you and that didn’t work. It never does. I’m not sure if I should even let you in.” There it was. The hardness in your voice that had finality like you were truly done with him. 
“I’m not gonna force you to.” There was nothing left he could say that he thought would convince you. You hated being told what to do, so this was Toji’s last chance to give you the final say. If you told him no, he would turn his car around and lick his wounds later. Explaining to Megumi what happened between the two of you would be a pain in the ass, and getting used to you not being by his side would be hard to get over, but he could do it… at least he thought so. He would try his hardest to avoid that outcome. 
“Fine. See you in twenty minutes. To talk ,” you acquiesced. 
“Right. See you.”
 He was one lucky son of a bitch. 
Toji might’ve been speeding since he made it to your apartment in 10 minutes instead. It’s been months since he’s been in there, the last time being when he helped you pack up a few boxes to put in his house. When he climbed up to your floor and knocked on your door, you cracked the entrance open to look at him. You didn’t open the door all the way, instead using your body to block the rest of your space. 
“Aren’t you going to let me in? You said that I could come,” he said. 
You rubbed your forehead. “Yeah, I guess I did.” 
You looked exactly how he imagined. A satin bonnet covering your head, a big, loose t-shirt from an old rock band, bare legs, and fuzzy socks. It was your nighttime uniform that he’s seen a thousand times before. He just wished it was his shirt instead. “Want anything to drink?” 
You . “No,” Toji grunted, following into your space and closing the door. 
Your apartment looked like you had never left. It’s like he didn’t even make a dent in your life like you did his. You walked over to the kitchen, pulling out some health drink you were obsessed with. He bought that exact flavor when he saw it at the store just to see if it had grown on him. It didn’t, but he drank it down. He stared at your fingers and hands, then your neck as the liquid moved through you. His favorite place to leave a mark on your skin was bare. 
“Aren’t you gonna say something?” You questioned after licking your lips clean. Toji cleared his throat. 
“I’m going to therapy now,” he announced with no preamble. Your eyebrows raised up in an instant. You had no idea what he was going to say, but it definitely wasn’t this.
“Th–that’s good. Really good, Toji. How is it going?”
 “It’s not the condescending bullshit I thought it was going to be.”
You gave him a small smile. “So it's not that bad. I’m really proud of you. I could’ve recommended it till I was blue in the face but actually going and being consistent is where all the hard work lies.” 
“It’s not that hard. Should’ve gone sooner.” Toji cuffed the back of his neck that was heating up from your praise. He couldn’t even look at your face, instead focusing on your fuzzy socks moving around. “I didn’t know how much I was bottling up.” 
You reached for his hand to hold it. It was a simple gesture, something that you have done a million times before, yet Toji’s heart hammered in his chest like it wanted to jump out. “I’m glad you're having a great experience. I mean it. I also went back to therapy myself to work some things out internally.” 
You tried to return your hand back to your side but Toji wrapped around your wrist, pulling you till you laid flush on his body and you used your other hand to prop yourself up on his chest. Your legs slotted between his and he trapped you there, holding you tighter. 
“Toji,” you gasped. Your nose was full of him, you were so close you could count his lashes. He was too close, too soon, but you didn’t push him away. 
“You’ve always been better when it comes to voicing your emotions. You’re perfect.”
“You are the only person in the world that thinks that,” you laughed. “I was a major hothead before we met.” Your giggles died out when Toji’s lips ghosted over yours. It made your lips twitch with how near he was with no contact. 
“Toji… You came to just talk, remember?”
“Tell me how proud you of me are again, ” he stated unashamedly. You sucked a sharp breath in when his free hand slipped under your t-shirt, starting at the middle of your thigh, grazing up to your waist. Warm hands that could lull you to sleep now set your body ablaze. You should’ve told him to stop when  his fingers went south, brushing past your pubic hair before dipping into your sex. You should’ve told him to stop when he used two fingers to stretch you out, hissing at how tight you because you haven't done it in a while. Hell, you should’ve told him no when he called you to come over because you knew how it would end up. Instead you locked lips with him, hiking your leg up to his waist so he had better access, giving him the praise he wanted to hear. 
“I’m proud of you,” you whispered in his ear before licking the shell of it. You combed his nape and started to grind into his hand, using his palm to rub on your swollen clit while he curled around the spot that made you bend to him. 
“You’re doing so well Toji, just like that.” 
“Fuck,” he groaned. He wanted to taste you, he wanted to fuck you. You already had that glazed look in your eyes, about to reach your climax soon. Tonight you were extremely sensitive, shivering to every touch, gripping him like a vice. His fingers were drenched, and when he put his thumb over the silky mess covering your clit you tipped over the edge, your legs shaking so hard he held you up under your knee to keep you from falling over. 
You only caught your breath for a moment before you went to his pants, fumbling over his belt and pulling him out of pants. Toji pressed you up against the nearest wall, giving you just enough time to throw your shirt off before he smashed his lips on yours. You cupped his face, afraid that he would pull away as he lined himself up with your entrance. Breathy moans filled the quiet apartment when he finally fit himself inside of you. Toji has missed this feeling of you around him more than he had thought. No amount of jerking off with a clothing article of yours that you left behind would have satisfied him. The sounds that you made, the soft gasps and mewling couldn’t be replicated. He fucked you up the wall, holding one of your legs up so he could snap into you over and over again, the toes of your second leg barely touching the floor anymore. 
“Faster, faster,” you begged. You hugged around his neck tightly, and when you pulled away to look at him you were met with his pupils dilated. There was a rosy flush on his cheeks that was lovely to see. You were worried that if you saw Toji again he would not be interested in you anymore. It has never felt so good to be so wrong. You brushed his hair out of his eyes to look at him more clearly and traced his lips with your thumb. Pushing your thumb past his lips, you ran it over his bottom teeth and he held it gently with the top one. You pulled your thumb out, then used your index and middle finger to push down on his tongue, watching the pink muscle move around in his mouth. He did well without gagging, and for that you murmured a “good boy” to him. All the blood in Toji’s body went straight to his dick after hearing those words. If he went any harder he would’ve broken through the wall. 
“Open your mouth,” you ordered. You really didn’t need to, as your fingers were still down his throat but you took them out slightly so he could widen his lips. You spat in his mouth and closed it immediately with a harsh kiss, your teeth bumping each other. You hugged him tightly once once, wrapping your arms around the top of his shoulders and tried your best to match his strokes in the position. Never have you been fucked on a vertical surface, and for a fleeting moment you felt bad for your next door neighbor. Toji’s teeth teasing the skin on your collarbone quickly made it a secondary thought. 
“I’m gonna come,” you warned. “Come with me?” 
Toji nodded, his nose bumping yours. The place where you were connected was a mess, your essence staining the front of his pants. The tinkle of his belt loop added a musical quality to the claps of your bodies meeting each other. 
Just like you had hoped you came at the same time. Soft yet heavy pants replaced the other sounds crescendo you just made. You could feel Toji softening inside of you, and he slowly slid himself out of your cunt with a sigh that you second. There was no way for him or you to comfortably stay connected while standing up, fucking was already hard enough. You cupped your sex, catching the come that was starting to drip out of you when Toji brought damp paper towels to clean you up. You wanted to collapse on the floor at the end of it. 
Toji carried you to your couch per your request. You admitted that you still had some of his clothes, and there were his sweats in your closet if he wanted to change his pants when he put you down. You laid on your stomach, stretching your legs as far out as you can, praying that you wouldn’t catch a cramp. When you gained some feeling in your legs that wasn’t static you took a peek at Toji when he walked back in. He was staring down at you, waiting for your reaction. He wasn’t a fool that would believe that sex would fix everything, but it wouldn’t hurt if it reconciled something between the two of you. 
“I want to preface this by saying I do not regret what we did,” you started. You wanted to address the elephant in the room before it crushed you. Toji got down on one knee to be at your level when you spoke and you smiled. Unknowingly he was such a gentleman but he didn’t see himself that way. 
“I don’t regret it either,” Toji agreed. If it was up to him he’d fuck you again and stay the night. He knew that would be asking for too much but a man can dream. 
“Right… but I don’t think we should get back together. Not yet.” You nervously bit your lip. You dared a glance at him and his face was unreadable. 
“We’re working on ourselves, trying to get better. I really do think we’re benefitting from the intimate time apart. I swear I’m not trying to be an asshole when I say this, but I think we should be friends first.”
Toji was silent for a few minutes. You were so worried that you poked his arm to get some kind of response. “I still get to see you?”
“Yes,” said slowly, as if you were afraid he would change his mind suddenly.
“And we can eat meals together?”
“I don’t see why not.” 
“Are you still going to drag me to see movies during the daytime?”
You scoffed. “It’s cheaper and has less people!” 
Toji gave you a shy grin. It slowly melted off of his face, making you ask what’s wrong. 
“You’re not in love with me anymore.” 
You sat up from the couch, putting your hand over Toji’s that rested on the brown leather. It wasn’t a simple answer. The love you had for Toji could not be given to anybody else. You only had room for him in your heart. Trying to pretend that you didn’t, moving on before you were ready backfired, and Gojo got the worst of it. Not that Toji needed to know, but when Toru kissed you, you realized that you never had romantic feelings for him. All you could think about was what Toji was doing, but you were the one who left. It was unfair to Gojo. 
“I still love you, and I do think we can make this work if we do it the right way. We are in fragile states right now, and if we mix a relationship in it we might blow up like we did before. What I'm saying is; let’s take this slow. There’s no rush, right?”
“You’re right.” You were asking for a fresh start and Toji could do that. You were trying so hard for him, and he was willing to do the same. He would earn you back eventually. However long it takes.
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Thank you so so so much for reading!! Any interactions are appreciated!!
Part One
M.list || Twitter || Ao3
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bbanghiitomi · 2 days
Text
BORROWED TIME
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pairing: idol!khaerin x nj6thmem!fem!reader
trope: first love! angst with comfort! eventual fluff!
haerin sighed for the thousandth time, she realized just how tiring it was to keep sighing - ridiculous, haerin thought as she stared at herself at the mirror. how weird has this day been? she doesn't know, it's always been weird ever since y/n came back from the hospital, the doctors said she was fine, the blow she got on her head when she had an accident during one of their intensive trainings didn't physically damager her. to haerin, it was kind of hard to believe, how could such a huge blow not do any damage? it had to hurt so much, right?
oh well, y/n's charts that her physician provided didn't seem to show any anomalies...
she told herself not to think too much about it, but that's what haerin does best. she can't stop thinking about y/n, she stayed at the hospital for almost 3 months, hell, it was the worst accident that ever happened to their group; haerin remembered how terrible that night was, everyone was crying and worried sick, y/n fell on the floor and hit her head pretty hard on the ground.
but she survived, haerin hated to say this but it was even a miracle y/n survived, the blow was so hard that it could have shaken her brain and damaged it but her charts didn't show any problem in her brain.
till now, she seemed fine.
maybe she knew y/n more than anyone else but, it doesn't stop bothering her, even tonight.
"excuse me." y/n's voice echoed inside the bathroom, she walked her way towards the sink and stood beside haerin to brush her teeth, haerin stared at the girl and watched as the girl brushed her teeth.
"hey, today's the start of our filming... there's nothing wrong that can happen, right?" this has been occurring in the past few weeks since y/n came back from the hospital, haerin was glad for her to be back but it felt different.
y/n can't seem to recognize haerin's voice, she was functioning like an idol, she can dance to beat, hit the right notes, and act like her usual self but the least y/n thing to do is not respond immediately to what haerin was telling her, it felt weird.
y/n turned around to look at haerin and gave her a soft smile. "don't worry." just like that, haerin doesn't understand the sudden shift in her responses, she's the same way with the other members.
there were times were y/n took a few seconds to reply to the members, often times it felt like she couldn't recognize who is who.
but how?
haerin has no logical explanation, y/n's condition was beyond words, it was hard to explain, she didn't lose memories no, she could tell her members name, she knows what her life was once before the incident but it felt like a part of y/n was missing, barely holding on.
if haerin was to explain this to people, they'd think she's insane.
y/n left the bathroom and haerin, the girl frowned, damned and confused.
it's not like haerin has the most sharpest eyes, literally, the shape of her eyes were sharp, but the way she see things weren't always as accurate as it is. but when she stared at y/n during their shooting, in the house where the light was shining upon y/n's face, she knew she had to get these feelings out soon.
y/n was silent, she turned to haerin and gave haerin a small smile. "it's hot isn't it? i didn't want to go to the convenience store with the others cause i knew you'd stay." y/n is still y/n, her memories are well intact, she knows haerin and everything about her.
maybe it's time for haerin to stop thinking too much.
what was that feeling? haerin blinked her eyes and stared at y/n. "i'm glad you're okay." haerin muttered, y/n nodded.
y/n felt bad, just how long does she need to hide this? she knew haerin was catching up to her, y/n knew how rare her cognitive disorder were from the force she got during the incident; she was scared they'd turn her into a lab rat.
that night, when she opened her eyes again, she could barely tell who was who, she knew her members' names but she couldn't recognize their faces as familiar. now, y/n is scared to close her eyes, because when she does, haerin's face fades away...
that same night, haerin didn't speak while everyone did, y/n couldn't remember what her voices sounded like, even now, whenever she's away from haerin, she can't recognize her voice.
in her three months inside the hospital, it felt like hell, her tactile sense was impaired, her auditory sensory too, and even her visual sensory was beyond repair; somehow y/n knew it was hard to explain her condition.
but there was hope, obviously, she really wasn't all that crippled, to y/n, it was just a side effect, yet it's hard to deal with but it was the best outcome out of all. who knows? if she wasn't lucky enough to survive that accident, she would've been dead by now.
yet, she is alive. y/n has to accept that she will live her upcoming years dealing with the anguish that her condition will bring her, it was hard to keep hiding but it was for the best.
y/n looked at haerin. "i promise, i'll always be okay." haerin looked down, it had to be the truth, right? perhaps, their perspective on that promise were different, y/n can only guarantee that everything haerin saw in her was okay, but haerin wanted to know deeper.
the girls came back with snacks, a cold soda, and some breads. y/n turned her head away as hanni cheered, y/n can't tell who was that, every now and then, she kept forgetting the girls' facial features, except for their hair and clothes.
hanni has a short hair in this filming, so it was easy to distinguish her from everyone else, the same with danielle with her curly hair.
y/n is only happy she picks up on it quickly without them noticing.
one day, she'll have to stop playing pretend and come in terms with her reality.
"you want bread?" hanni asked y/n, to which she nodded and smiled. "of course." she beamed at hanni and grabbed the bread.
ah, y/n couldn't tell if this bread was heavy or not.
"it's so soft!" danielle smiled, haerin watched y/n as she looked over the members with a smile. yeah, haerin hated herself for always thinking twice.
both her and y/n needed to make up their mind, find a place where they want their minds to reside, they can't keep going off anywhere.
y/n can't tell what texture this bread had, is it smooth or rough? soft or tough?
her disorder limited her performance in identifying most objects.
the whole filming felt natural, well, it was a tough job but overall, y/n managed to keep up quite well. she was happy to be given this chance to continue with newjeans, she promised herself nothing was limiting her from doing something she loved and being with the people she cares for.
ah, it was another one of those nights again when y/n is in her bed and crying; she can't feel her face, it's been numb and tired.
why does she feel like this?
it's horrible...
why can't she just be honest with what she feels? why does she have to suffer?
it's scary, she can't recognize haerin's voice, her members' face were out of the picture. once again, even for only a short amount of time, they felt like strangers to her.
she needed help and if she can't get it, her cognitive disorder will destroy her whole being, something worse than a nightmare, is her confusion, a poison was the truth.
there's no certain cure for agnosia, maybe it was a bad idea for her to surf the internet for an answer, it must be just anxiety, yeah - she's probably just worrying too much.
y/n sighed, the truth was a pill she couldn't swallow, necessary but felt like a punch on the gut, denial was her only answer, tonight, she wants to still her resolve to face her contests.
haerin heard faint sobbing as she leaned her ears on the door, she sighed, it's one of those nights again. haerin wanted to know what was putting y/n into these kinds of situations, crying herself to sleep until the time burns out and she's left to keeping herself awake till the next day.
haerin knows y/n and her have a connection only they can understand, it was some kind of feelings that both they shared and individually had. something that's hurting y/n is hurting haerin too. haerin knocked on the door. "y/n? are you okay? this is haerin."
y/n rose from her bed and wiped her tears, it's haerin, she knew only because haerin revealed herself.
"come in..." y/n faint voice made haerin's heart skip a beat.
when haerin opened the door, she caught a glimpse of y/n's back, haerin curled her brows but only for a few seconds as she gathered her courage.
"i could hear your sobs you know? what's bothering you?" there was no point with hiding, y/n looked at haerin, the swollen eyes caught the cat-like girl off guard, she sighed and sat on the other edge of the bed, their backs facing each other.
"a lot..." y/n muttered, haerin nodded.
"i guessed it, want to share it?" haerin's offer sounded tempting at the moment, y/n felt like it made sense if she finally came to agreement about what she felt, she'd be able to understand haerin more and get the heavy feelings off of her chest.
"it feels a little heavy for me to share... but i guessed it's you so..." y/n shifts her posture as she turned a bit to face haerin's back, she had a small sheepish smile, haerin chuckled; from what she remembered, the heaviest for her was having to see y/n at the hospital, it made her hate the emptiness of every corridor, the heaviness of her heart weighing all the worries she carried for y/n.
the comfort the practice room once gave her was gone, all that was left is fear of something worse as she await y/n's return.
"i can take it." haerin stated.
"i'm consulting a doctor, again." haerin finally turned her head, both of their backs facing each other but their eyes were on one another. haerin raised her eyebrows. "like your weekly checkups with the physician?" well it was something everyone knew was a part if y/n's new routine.
"why? you don't wanna go there anymore?" haerin asked again.
y/n shook her head as she took a heavy breath. "no," she paused, it was for the best, if she stopped consulting her physician, one thing could go wrong and it's over but she needed more help.
"i... i'll try reaching out to psychiatrists..." haerin looked at y/n, surprised, it was out of pocket.
"why..?" haerin was rather afraid to ask but she wanted to know. y/n shook her head and sighed. "that i'm still trying to look for an answer myself, i felt the need to reach out to a psychiatrist but i can only get the answer why i got the urge if i can hear them out." y/n answered, it was know haerin's turn to shake her head.
"no, there's definitely something wrong." the past was their playful banter, y/n remembers those memories with haerin but all with a distorted image of haerin's face and an almost empty sound of her voice.
even the touch of haerin's palm was unrecognizable to y/n.
that was her problem. "it's hard to explain." y/n said.
haerin frowned and looked down. "are you going to be okay?" like a sad kitten, haerin asked as she looked at y/n. y/n gave her a nod. "of course."
agnosia...
prosopagnosia, the disorder that affects her ability to recognize familiar faces.
phonagnosia, inability to recognize familiar voices, and ahylognosia, the disorder that hinders the identification of textures and materials.
the psychiatrist couldn't give her a proper answer to a cure, even he looked unsure; it brought y/n's hopes down. he could only say that time can help y/n re-develop these skills, it was a side effect of the trauma her head caught during her accident.
"give it at least three or more months. it should be advisable to stay with friends, families, or loved ones, that's the only thing you should really worry about, it doesn't get worse over time as long as you keep great contact with familiar people in your life."
that's what he said.
though, there isn't an instant cure, y/n held on to what her psychiatrist said, he'll keep in touch and check up on her every now and then, maybe that'll help.
as y/n was heading home, she kept listening to their own songs, familiarize... and remember...
watching music videos was her answer, since she gets to call her family all the time she needed to, y/n's main focus is once again recognizing her members.
when she got home, haerin noticed this.
"hey, you've been watching a lot of our music videos." she pointed out, y/n looked up at haerin, just a bit more, she told herself.
"yeah, i like our songs." it was true but in this situation it wasn't.
"how did your consultation went?" haerin asked, not taking no more risk to lose the chances. the members were gone except for the two girls. "it went as expected." y/n answered.
haerin looked down at y/n who sat down at her chair and haerin scratched her cheek. "i hate beating around the bush, can you tell me what you got? i promise i'll keep it." y/n appreciates haerin's honesty but it was hard to say something that took her a lot to understand.
y/n stood up from her seat and shook her head at haerin. "maybe the right time will come, i have something i want to say more now that that." y/n faced haerin and sighed as she let out a sheepish laugh.
haerin blushed as the gap between them got smaller, she really isn't good about these things unless they're playful, definitely not when it's y/n. "what is it?" maybe she shouldn't push the psychiatrist topic so much; it worried haerin yes, but it didn't seem right to y/n, it wasn't her choice.
"do you like me?" it was such a short question but haerin was taken back as she pointed to herself, she's got her tongue tied as she looked away with a soft blush.
"what's that suddenly about?" haerin asked as she looked at y/n again, y/n smiled and shook her head. "nothing, anyway i'll just get something from minji's room." y/n shrugged and haerin saw y/n walked past her and haerin reached over to y/n's shoulder. "wait!"
y/n turned around and looked at haerin as the cat-like girl took a heavy breathe. "i, i have something to say. promise we'll stay the same?" haerin's face looked delicate, to y/n's eyes, her expression were cute. "of course." she said.
"hm, i like you yeah. but why would u ask?" haerin looked at y/n before scratching her cheek. y/n stared at haerin and smiled, she shrugged and looked away for only a few seconds. "well, if i were to be honest it makes things easier for me. you know? just watch over me okay? i'll eventually get better in no time." y/n said as she beamed at haerin, haerin nodded, a soft blush covering her cheeks.
"well, as long as you tell me about what you feel." haerin shrugged, her breath feels short, must have been her heart beating too much. y/n looked down and nodded. "i promise to be transparent." y/n muttered as she leaned her head on haerin's shoulder.
y/n rubbed her face on the soft fabric of haerin's clothes, the cat-like girl's smell wafted around her, the smell of the fresh fabric conditioner. she's afraid if she closes her eyes her mind would be in a blur.
haerin looked at y/n, she awkwardly stayed still.
"i'm sorry," y/n sighed. "i can't really find a way to communicate what i'm going through, not to you, not to the members." haerin nodded.
"it is harder for you than everyone else..." haerin muttered.
"everyone will find out sooner anyway, i don't have to hide forever." y/n smiled as she she felt haerin's arms around her.
a future with everyone, that's what y/n wanted, though hard to put into imagination, she wishes that once all is over, she'll still be with haerin.
"it's okay, i won't let them force you if you don't want to." haerin knew she sounded silly, it was something tough and brave for her to say but it was true, she'd be willing to speak up if it was for y/n's betterment.
y/n chuckled and nodded. "i trust you." she whispered.
y/n doesn't want to close her eyes, she wants to know that she's with haerin, that when haerin speaks, her eyes could see her presence, she wanted more than to feel, it was out of her capabilities as her cognitive disorder limited her to be able to do such things;
if she closes her eyes, she wouldn't know it's haerin speaking, she wouldn't certainly be able to imagine the familiarity of haerin's face.
maybe just now, but in the future anything could change - hopefully.
haerin had to shake her mind off of y/n's secrets, not everything has to have her in the picture and she understood it.
haerin and y/n both hopes for something better to come, maybe tomorrow it will change, maybe not - maybe it'll only take a couple of days or if not, weeks, months or even a year or two. it's hard to try and live in the future if the present needed to be change; no one certainly knew what would happen.
but in this present, y/n only needed her family, friends, and haerin. through what limited her capabilities, it's not enough to put y/n to a full stop and not enough for haerin to keep caring for the girl.
as they stood in the middle of y/n's room, haerin's hug starts to feel tighter, without y/n noticing it.
"i love you." haerin thought, well, she didn't have enough courage to say it.
sighing, haerin carefully puts a hand on top of y/n's head and gently caressed y/n's hair. for a brief moment or more, it felt like home.
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qrrieterisunnq · 2 days
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🎞️ Can you make Luke Hughes with Radio please?
Thank you for requesting love!
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“Y/n! I’m sorry I’m interrupting but I need the last five edited chapters of ‘I’m Not You and You’re Not Me’. Boss wants to proofread it.” Your coworker peaks in your office, a soft smile on her lips.
“Yeah, give me a second, I have it somewhere…” you say looking all around your table, for the papers you edited last night.
“Ah, got it. Here you go!” you reach your hand towards her, silently telling her, to get it.
“Thank you, and by the way! Turn on your radio.” She smiles at her and sends her a wink before she closes the door behind her.
With a confused look on your face, you turn on the radio and put on more volume. Your smile immediately grows when you hear your and Luke’s song playing.
You let the song play while you focus on the book in front of you, marking the incorrect things written here or the phrases you would write differently.
You take a sip from your coffee just when the song ends and the woman on the radio starts talking.
“‘This song is for my lovely girlfriend of three years, y/n. We have our anniversary today, so I just want to tell her by this song how much I love her and that I’m excited for today's night. Her and only her Luke.’ Oh, this is so cute I hope y/n is listening right now because if I were her, I would give this man the best night of the night. You know what I mean.” Her voice is so sweet and full of happiness for the girl while she's reading it. You can’t help the smile forming on your lips when you hear the message from Luke. “So congratulations on your third anniversary! I hope and I think by this note I can say how much you love each other, so don’t stop with that! And y/n, you have the best man at home, appreciate him.”
“Oh, trust me, I do.” You say, with tears in your eyes. You reach for your phone, opening messages with Luke, to text him.
Butterfly – I love you too, Lu. And don’t worry, I’m excited for tonight too🤭😏
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wosoamazing · 3 days
Text
Leah's Return
Part 6 - Fire on Fire Series
A/N: Sorry this one is short, updates may not be as regular in the next few weeks bc Uni is getting a little hectic... (I know I posted one yesterday but I don't know if I 100% like this so I'm just getting it out)
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The game today was the one Leah expected to be making her return, it also was the game your parents had decided to come to. There was some irony in that, as your parents were most likely going to ruin a night that was meant to be fun and celebrate the return of Leah. However you ignored the fact they were there, not even looking for them in the stands before the game started.
At 61 minutes Leah was subbed on and the reception was great. The game finished amazingly with Arsenal beating Reading 6-0.
-
As soon as the whistle blew you ran up to Leah and hugged her.
“You did amazing! I’m so proud of you,” you told her as you patted her on her back, “I have to go speak to them now, but I will see you later,” she nodded as said something along the lines of thank you and good luck before you walked off.
You quickly found your parents in the stands and walked up to them.
“Look at you two playing the supportive parent role”, you said as you greeted them, seeing how they had brand new Arsenal Jerseys on which had your number on them, and to top it all off they had Mum and Dad written across the back.
“Y/N, respect please,” You Dad beckoned,
“I’ll decide how I treat you when you tell me the real reason your here,” you pointedly said
“Can we go somewhere else?” He asked.
 “No we are doing this here,” “Well, your father and I are giving you one last chance before we cut you off, you can decide, but there won’t be anymore chances, we will buy you whatever house, wherever you want, and we will pay for all your expenses whilst you study, all you need to do is quit.” 
“No,” you reply, looking at her dead in the face.
“No?” They both questioned, expecting you to put up a fight. 
“No, I’m not giving up the thing I love. Just to fulfil your wishes and your distorted reality. You didn’t raise me anyway so you cutting me off won't do much harm,” you walked off, and made your way into the locker room, quickly having a shower before you jumped in your car and headed home, to start getting ready for tonight, at least tonight you could drink and forget about it all.
_____
It was later that night and your plan to drink and forget it all had definitely not worked, you hadn’t actually drunk at all, knowing all too well it wasn’t the best idea at all to drown your sorrows but you also felt like shit. You couldn’t believe they came all the way just to cut you off, clearly having no respect for the date that was steadily approaching in two days. You just wanted to go home, however as you were meant to be going home with Leah you didn’t know if that was an option, as this was her night and she should have fun, however as you looked around the bar you noticed Beth and Viv together, so you decided to ask them if they could take you home.
“Can you take me home? I know it’s really early, but I’m just not feeling the best and I don’t want to make Leah leave early.” “Of course, we were thinking of heading off now anyway,” Viv told you and Beth rolled her eyes.
You were sitting in the back seat head resting against the window, when Beth asked if you were okay, and you mumbled a small ‘yeah’ before small soft tears started to roll down your cheeks.
Both women followed you into your home but you didn't question it, you were honestly expecting it, however you just ignored them and walked into your room.
You were scrolling on tik tok when the fifth edit of your parents and you from the game showed up on your screen, with the caption saying how supportive your parents were. Before you could even think you flung your phone out of your hand and it hit the wall
You threw your phone across the room as hot angry tears started to flow down your face.
“Hey, what's going on?” Beth asked as she opened the door, “are you okay?”
“No, but that doesn’t matter, sorry if I scared you, I threw my phone, I didn’t want to see another edit or post of me and them from tonight. People are saying they are supportive, but they aren’t, and I mean I did have my aunts but it’s still different. Knowing your parents are literally throwing millions of dollars at you so that you do what they want. Knowing they disapprove of what you do so much that they would do that. It’s fucked, and it’s fucking unfair,” you took a deep breath before more tears started to stream down your face, “I’m sorry.”
“It is unfair. It is a fucked up situation and you have nothing to be sorry about,” Beth said as she walked up to you, and wrapped her arms around you. You practically collapsed into her, needing any form of comfort. “Should we call Stina?” She questioned
“No,” you had called Stina enough over the past few years, tonight was date night and you weren’t going to interrupt her night, “oh you can go if you want,” you said as you tried to pull out of her arms, getting the sense that she didn’t want to stay.
“No, that's not what I meant. I just didn't know if you would want your best friend or not?”
“No, it's okay, and you're one of my best friends now too,” you admitted, shortly after hearing a sniffle, looking up to see some tears had fallen from Beth’s eyes.
“You’re a fat softy you know that, right?” you told her before pulling her in for a massive hug.
You spent the rest of the evening on the couch with Beth and Viv watching a movie.
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fernandopiastri28 · 3 days
Note
Oscar is angry about carlos situation and his Miami GP result so y/n helps him relax (maybe a handjob,maybe Smut..you chose)
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the city that keeps the roof blazing ~ oscar piastri
| warning ~ smut, degrading language. MDNI
Y/N’s heart thrums in her chest, an anxious sweat pooling across her back under her corset dress. Oscar’s not doing well, having taken a hit from the Ferrari of Carlos Sainz and losing his front wing as a result. He’d had to pit, finding himself in last, only in front of Logan who’d already DNFed. Her nails are bitten up, rough on the edges. She can hope and pray for at least a points finish, even if it’s just one or two, but at this point, the whole situation is looking rather dire.
If Oscar doesn’t already despise Carlos, he certainly does now. 
In the final few laps, the team instructs Oscar to basically not pull anything stupid and risk Lando getting his first win. It’s honestly offensive of them, as if Oscar has ever done something to sabotage anyone else in any circumstances. In anything, the McLaren team should be focusing on getting a penalty awarded to Carlos for his shitty stunt against Piastri or figuring out why the fuck Donald Trump is in their garage.
When a McLaren passes the chequered flag first, Y/N can’t even feel happy for Lando. She just feels fucked over for her boyfriend who’s being perfectly polite and mature over the radio but is gonna be absolutely destroyed once he’s out of shot from all the cameras and media. 
He’d been leading the race at one point, and now he’s having his first out of points finish of the year in 13th. Stupid Carlos, stupid fucking Carlos. Y/N looks around the rest of the garage at everyone jumping around and cheering for the brit’s win. She keeps her headset on, smiling politely as Oscar would be if he were here. She can’t muster up any excitement, so she’ll fake the bare minimum.
She navigates her way through flocks of commentators and team members as she attempts to find her boyfriend. “Oscar?” She has to crane her neck, searching for a papaya race suit that isn’t the one being showered in praises. As two men who tower over her push past, she bends her arm tighter to keep her bag in the junction of her elbow and close to her. 
“Y/N,” A tired voice calls out, Oscar tugging his balaclava off with one hand. “I’m not crazy right? You say that- that was all Carlos,” He pants, wiping a line of sweat that’s gathered over his top lip. Y/N rubs his cheek, applying pressure to where the outline from his helmet is especially dark. 
She nods, her hand squeezing his bicep through the thick material of his race suit. “Completely baby, you were doing so good.” She’s about to tell him that she was convinced today would be his first race win before her mind reminds her that telling him that isn’t going to make him feel better, in fact he’d probably feel even more shitty that she was expecting a win for him and he ‘let her down’.
He drops his head into his hands, letting out a noise that’s halfway between a sigh and a whine. “What is his problem with me? Because if it’s genuinely got to do with Lando and I being mates,” He groans, shaking his head in disbelief. “Just can’t deal with this right now,”
Before she knows it, Oscar’s being whisked away from her to be weighed and then dragged through endless interviews and media tasks. It’s the absolute last thing he wants to be doing, which is just going to make him more irritated and upset tonight. 
Y/N has to come up with something to cheer him up.
Something certainly. 
At the end of interviews, when they’re finally allowed to head home, Y/N slips her hand into Oscar’s, squeezing each of his individual fingers as she aligns the time of their feet hitting the floor. He just hums plainly, instead of laughing along with each pinch she gives to his digits. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Her tone is soft as they get into the car, Oscar’s eyebrows furrowed as he clicks his seatbelt in.
Oscar doesn’t need to be offered twice as he immediately shoots off into a rant. “He’s just so immature, he’s almost 30 and driving a 23 year old in his second year off the track. Each time I get blamed for it.” He starts the car, his eyes hyper focused on the road ahead as he just aimlessly insults Carlos. “I mean- he’s just an absolute idiot. I meant it when I asked if he was blind because in what reality did I deserve a penalty and he deserved a spot change?” 
Y/N keeps her eyes on him, watching as the muscles of his neck flex and tense, his cheeks getting hot, the veins in his hands becoming infinitely more defined as he grips the steering wheel. She’s ashamed of how turned on it makes her, seeing him like this. Maybe that’s exactly what he needs tonight though.
“And-and, fuck, he’s just soo desperate for another Carlando podium that he’s willing to drive me into a fucking wall just so he can stand on the top step with his precious Lando,” He mocks him, positively seeing red. “I’ve considered Logan my best mate for years longer than those two have known each other yet you don’t see me risking all of Carlos’ races so Logan can get a fucking point,” The swears are just spilling out of his mouth at this point, sounding like a second nature to a degree.
Her hand meets his thigh, rubbing it tenderly as a way to calm him down. “Keep going Osc, just let it all out,” Her voice is thick, warm, and sweet like honey. It’s exactly what he needs right now. He needs her next to him, needs her voice in his ear. 
Needs her hands on him.
“I just think he’s an entitled brat who doesn’t deserve a seat,” It’s harsh, but it’s coming straight from the heart. “I’m glad Ferrari dropped him,” It’s said accompanied with a long, drawn out sigh. He’s relieved, finally able to have gotten that all out.
Yet, there’s still a bugging sense of dissatisfaction deep in his bones that he knows he won’t get from continuously insulting the spaniard. Luckily for Oscar, he’s just about pulling into the hotel valet. 
With a single look at Y/N, he conveys everything he wants when they get to their hotel room, and lucky for him- she wants the exact same.
They maintain a sense of decorum in the elevator ride up, which can’t be said about each time Oscar has a bad race. Example, the 2023 Belgian grand prix. After his DNF, his mouth had been attached to her neck and his hands on her breasts the second the elevator doors shut. 
It had been a very awkward situation to apologise for after a family of four with two very young kids had entered the lift five flights before their hotel room.
But back to now, the second their hotel door clicks shut behind them, Y/N’s taunting him over to the bed with chaste kisses on his cheeks, each one just narrowly avoiding his lips. “You’re a crazy tease, you know that?” He groans, lacing his fingers into her hair and pulling her in for a kiss as they reach the bed. 
She replies with an ignorant shrug and a careless smirk, “It’s fun- getting you all riled up. Makes me feel like Carlos,”
Oscar’s touch sears hot against her skin, his glare even worse. “Don’t fucking mention him in our bedroom,” It’s barely a hiss, but it’s enough of a warning to keep her in line. Instead, she decides to take action on him. Her fingers drag along the hem of his polo, tantalising slowly. She doesn’t need to wonder why that is, it's the same as when he does it along the zippers of her dresses or buttons of her blouses. 
She wants him to beg for it.
“Please,” The heat between her legs is near unbearable from how desperate he sounds, and her thighs chafe from how she’s kept them squeezed together as an attempt to relieve some of the ache of her cunt. “Y/N, I need you,” 
The tips of her fingers jut down to splay across the bulge in his shorts, applying some sort of pressure to the spot. He groans, grabbing her wrist and pushing down harder so she’s fully palming him. He sits on the edge of the bed, looking all pretty and desperate just for her as she continues her ‘massaging’. “You’ll get it Osc, I promise,”
His legs are nudged apart by her hands as she sinks down to her knees in front of him. His eyes light up, his lips red and bitten up from how he’s been chewing down to keep in his whiny noises and begs. Her fingers expertly undo his shorts, poking him so he’ll lift his hips so she can pull the pants and his boxers down in one go. 
His cock doesn’t hit up against his stomach when his tight boxers are removed, instead just lays heavy between his muscular thighs. Truly a sight to be seen. “So hard,” Y/N marvels, gently sliding her cupped hand up and down his length. One pump, two pumps. “And needy,” He looks up at him through her lashes to where his bottom lip is tucked under his teeth and his cheeks are flaming red. 
Oscar bucks his hops forward instinctively, chasing the high of how good her hand, or mouth preferably, feels. He’s lucky when she doesn’t make him wait too long before she grants his wish, opening her mouth, flattening her tongue, and taking the majority of his length into her mouth. 
Y/N’s toes curl in an attempt to remove her somewhat of a gag reflex she has. Today, she wants to take him as deep as she can and make him feel as good as possible. It’s deeper than she was expecting, which is definitely a win in her books. Pulling back slightly, she focuses on the head for the time being.
A string of praises spill past his lips, “Fuck, yes, so so good.” His hand snakes into hold her hair, keeping her head in place as he gradually goes deeper. “Taking me so good, sucking me off like an angel,” Her lips stretch around his thickness, her eyes void of any emotion beyond lust as she stares up at him. 
Y/N’s tongue glides back and forth along the underside of his cock, disgustingly loud sucking noises filling up the entire hotel room. He cups her cheek, his thumb dragging along the bulging of her cheek. His hips inch forward, his cock stuffing her mouth full and moving towards doing the same for her throat. 
Y/N feels insanely good, and maybe even too good. Panic fills her head, what if Oscar’s still thinking about pleasuring her over himself. It’s typical Oscar, catering each sexual experience to prioritise her and her pleasure, even if it means he doesn’t cum as quickly as expected. Steadying her hands on his thighs,she pulls back gradually, “Fuck my mouth,” It’s not a question, suggestion, or even request. 
It’s a straight up demand.
“What, why?” His voice is more broken and weak than she’d expected. Hers is too, but that’s to be assumed when someone has a cock prodding the back of their throat. 
“Because I'm giving you head to make you feel good. This isn’t about my pleasure Osc,” Her voice is absolutely ruined and will likely be even worse by the end of this. Y/N cuts him off before he can begin to protest, which once again, she knows he will. “No but-s Oscar, just fuck my face,” He gives into the carnal desire as his hips begin to snap back and forth, burying into her throat. 
Drool spills out over her bottom lip and down her chin, her mind fuzzy without another tangible thought besides giving Oscar the best blowjob possible. Her jaw is aching but it’s ignored as she solely cares about getting him to orgasm. He huffs and groans, continuously sending praises mixed with harsh insults of calling her a slut and a whore as he gets more shallow with his thrusts, clearly very much so on edge.
She takes advantage of his situation, suckling solely on the sensitive tip as he warns her that he’s “So close Y/N, I’m ‘bout to cum,” The fact that she doesn’t budge or show any signs of slowing down tells Oscar enough. With three pumps of her hand on his cock, he’s spilling out into the wet heat of her mouth. As if time and consciousness is slipping further from her, his index and middle fingers tap her cheek to get her to pull off, then again to tell her to swallow.
Her jaw goes lax to show the proof that she did what he told her to as he takes his shirt off, gently wiping a mixture of cum and drool off her chin. Her eyes fight so hard to focus on the glorious sight of his toned abdomen and well filled in muscles as he cleans her up, but she’s so overwhelmed by the pleasure that she not only gave, but genuinely got from that experience. 
Oscar scoops Y/N up onto the bed, arranging her under the sheets so he can cuddle up against her, his chest to her back and his arms slung loosely around her stomach. “That was perfect,” He murmured, pecking at her cheek and ear as a further thank you.
Her throat does indeed ache, but it’s a worthy pain. “You’re not as upset about what happened with Car-” She can’t even finish the spanish ferrari’s name or her question before her boyfriend has his hand squished over her mouth.
“No saying his name,” He shakes his head, tutting disapprovingly. “But yes, I feel much better. Thank you babe,”
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yumeboshi · 3 days
Text
𝜗𝜚。.. ❛ #BODY WORTH A THOUSAND BULLETS?
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𐙚 synopsis。.As the boss of his organization, Gojo needs to kill you because you’re Geto’s daughter, even if you’re a gullible college student who has no idea how her father earns money. And he will kill you, as he did with countless other innocent people...right?
.。𝜗𝜚 cw。nsfw . MINORS DNI, dacryphillia, dub/ncn, gojo is just mean, choking kink, corruption kink, age gap (reader in early 20s, gojo at least in his late 20s or early 30s), gun play, teasing, spanking, virgin!reader, nicknames ‘princess, darling, baby,’ degrading w praise, dark humor bc gojo is just evil like that, mentions of violence, dead dove do not eat
.。𝜗𝜚 a/n。3am daydreaming about mafia boss gojo and how he’d make megumi do all the work for him
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YOU HAVE ALWAYS FOUND LIFE EASY. When you came back home after your uni lectures, you’d be welcomed by a luxurious feast already freshly made at your table, accompanied by butlers ready to tail you to make sure you feel comfortable. You never had to worry about your tuition bills, or losing your favorite necklace, because the next day, it would just be there, clean and new.
And the source of all your luxury was your father. His name was Geto Suguru, and that was the only thing you knew about him. He never came home, and even if he did, it would be way past night hours. It was like that since you were a little child. You always had caretakers looking after you instead, a feeble attempt by your father to fill in the position of a mother.
You couldn’t hate him either. You knew his efforts to make you feel happy. But you couldn’t have a regular father-daughter relationship like your friends did. You wished for it badly. You wanted it more than any other luxury. No amount of Dior bags or Versace could fill that up.
And today, you are looking at the mirror with piles of dresses behind you. Today, you are going on a night-out with your friends. It was a uni party hosted by your best friend. You could not just miss it out because your father insisted you to. No, you will not miss it out.
After long hours of phone calling (and your father constantly hanging the phone up because he was busy), you were finally able to convince the stubborn Geto to allow your girls night.
Don’t drink too much alcohol, sweetheart, he’d said during the call. And make sure you get home by ten.
That’s unbelievable, you’d said. It was a night party. You’d barely be there for an hour if ten was the curfew. But Geto was not having it at all, so you decided this was the best you could do to negotiate.
And after your disgruntled agreement, he’d summarized his rules for your first ever party- one— don’t drink alcohol too much, two— get home by 10p.m, and three— do not hang out with anyone who flirts with you.
A ridiculous set of rules, because who would actually flirt with you, you thought. You were certainly much more naive than your friends, so you’d never get any inside jokes. You were about as fun as a rock.
This was all thanks to Geto limiting your social interaction. You could barely keep up a conversation with your friends, and you were about as free as a caged dove.
But today, your father’s butlers did not tail you. Perhaps he wanted to make sure you tasted an ounce of freedom. Although you appreciated his sentiment, you were quickly overwhelmed by the foreign atmosphere you were experiencing alone. Waves of color startle you, as you were used to the monochromatic interiors of Geto’s mansion. You awkwardly sit at the nearest bus stop. In reality, you had no clue how to get to the party.
It did not help that it was quitting hour, and everyone seemed busy doing their own thing. You clutch your white handbag and pretend you are relaxed and fine, when you are not— you did not have a phone with web search functions because your father did not allow it yet again, and you had no clue where you were. You almost regret telling Geto you were going to the party by yourself.
Maybe this is a sign I shouldn’t go to the party, you think feebly. Would you contribute to it at all? You think not. Even though you did not have enough social communication, you could still read the faces of your friends when you bored them. You felt your chest tighten and your eyes sting.
You close your eyes for some liberation from the dizzy hurricane of emotion. You slowly open them and you almost jump when you are not met by the vacant gray sight of the road, but a pair of infinitely blue eyes.
You immediately back up and nearly trip over the bench you were sitting on. You gasp in pain when you feel the jagged wood rip your stockings as well as a part of your thigh, probably.
“Ouch, watch where you fall over, pretty. I felt that sting.”
Hearing an unfamiliar voice, you peel open your eyes and blink away the blobs of unreleased tears trapped inside. They reveal a man with ghostly white locks, teal eyes like ocean diamonds, and porcelain skin. His lips quirk up when your doe eyes meet his, as if he had achieved something spectacular.
But although his face is youthful and flawless, his attire strikes you as odd. He has on a slick suit that seems freshly ironed, the thick smell of cologne seems to linger every time he brushed off his hair locks. He seems almost old, at least as old as your father. But, that cannot be possible. He looks too young, in his prime.
“You like my suit? Just bought it a week ago. Had to clean it up because some idiot ruined it.” He continues, paying no mind that you were gawking at him— spontaneously sliding next to you on the bench. Your mouth is turning dry as you clutch the broken wood. He looks too pretty, too perfect for you, and this beautiful stranger is suddenly talking to you. You do not know how to respond. All thoughts of running late to the party seem to be forgotten.
“You know how it feels to have… let’s say, ketchup, sprayed all over a pretty white dress? That’s exactly how it was like, darl’. It’s hard maintaining something like this— oh, did I scare you?” He stops talking animatedly and stares into your face, noticing you were staring at him with your facial features frozen. But his smile gives it away that he knows the truth behind your reaction.
“No, um.” You falter, trying to compose yourself. You try to look confident, not wanting to let this guy think you were a pushover, because he certainly was thinking so. “Who are you?” You demand.
You see his lips quiver, biting back a laugh. You feel infuriated that he just finds you amusing. “And why do I have to tell you my name?” He asks, smirking at your confused reaction.
You haven’t had much conversations but you know this is not how one is supposed to unfold. “Well….” you try to find an answer, but you realize there is no concrete reason. You could just ignore weird strangers like himself. Why were you trying to maintain talk with him, you think angrily. You glance down at your watch and realize you are running late.
“I need a ride,” you blurt out of hastiness. Your stupid phone didn’t have internet, so you could not contact your friends- they’d be worried sick. And now it seemed like the easiest way to get there was to ask this handsome weirdo for a ride, if he knew how to drive a car, you think.
“Oooh, really?” He drawls, flicking his iridescent gaze to the bus stop you two are sitting in. “You could just take the bus, you know. Is there a particular reason you’re asking me to drive you somewhere?” His tone has a mocking undertone as if he knows exactly why you are asking him. “Poor princess can’t ride the bus alone?” He coos with a pout.
“Yes,” you admit, clutching your handbag hard to hide your embarrassment.
To your surprise, he doesn’t drag the matter and shrugs nonchalantly, his pristine face falters a little to slip out a grin, but it is not mocking— rather, it is a smile of adoration that makes your heart flutter. “Sure. Be a good girl for me and stay here while I get my car, yeah?”
You are discomfited by how nice he is being, but you nod obediently— how could you deny such an angel like himself, you swoon, and then you smack yourself inwardly. He chuckles again, the same adoration is too much for your fragile heart to bear. You feel your cheeks heat up, and a tiny part of your heart wishes you can hang out with him a little longer rather than going to the party.
His cologne is still present in the air, and you take a nice whiff after double checking that he was gone— you would rather die than to let the stunning man know you were inhaling his scent like a pervert. It is a woody, masculine smell, combined with something that smells oddly like iron. But the metallic smell blends in with the musky notes so well that you think it is intentional.
You could smell something else too— and this time you feel it is not intentional at all. It is a chemically sweet smell that strikes your nostrils and crashes right into your brain.
The next thing you feel is a jarring pain against your head, the sound of wood cracking around you, and at last, your eyelids fall shut.
YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO THE PARTY TONIGHT.
You slowly peel open an eyelid cautiously, and the first thing that occurs to you is that you are unable to move. You try moving your arms, and then quickly realize they are bound behind your back with your wrists, and they hurt. They must have been tied up for quite a while.
You try ignoring the panic that starts to drum into your ears as you assess your situation. You see a pretty view of the city, and your faint reflection on the glass. And then it dawns on you that you are definitely not in your friend’s house, or your home.
I’m fine, you think, but your heart is screaming otherwise. You try not to start screaming for help, just in case this was a prank, or a trap. Your breathing gets unsteady. You knew it was not a prank, and you were kidnapped, and you could not move an inch.
What now? You think. Maybe you will die here tonight. By whom, you wonder. You try to recall whatever happened the past few hours, but your head feels like it’s underwater. You recall crying at the bus stop. You maybe recall someone offering you a ride. But that is all you remember.
You try to roll your body sideways, but the cold iron against your thin dress causes too much friction. You gasp in pain when you feel something unpleasant scratch you during your attempt.
”Enjoying the view, angel?”
You yelp, trying to crane your neck to the side to see who just talked, but a veiny hand seizes your throat, successfully knocking out anything you tried to utter. You remain silent, shivering like a lamb ready to be slaughtered. The familiar scent of cologne seeps into your system like unpleasant goo, and now you remember.
“You…!” You snarl, but your breath hitches when he gives your neck a little warning squeeze.
“Do you remember now? Aww, how flattering.” He purrs, which makes your stomach twist. “Yes, darl’. I’m afraid you won’t make it to the party… or to your daddy.” He chuckles at that, and your eyes widen.
“Why are you doing this to me?” You ask, your voice is labored and it wavers at the lump in your throat. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Why would a pretty dumb girl like yourself cause trouble? Of course not.” His hand squeezes a little tighter, making you let out a gasp. “That’s adorable, thinking you did some shit. Think a little more, yeah?”
You do try to think, but it is hard to do so when you cannot get enough oxygen. You list all the things that could’ve ended you up here. Maybe your friends. Or maybe the party upsetted him. Or maybe you were not respectful at all. Or maybe—
“Stupid girl.” His other hand strikes your ass hard, making you squeal in pain. “It’s obviously about your father.” Your eyes widen as he continues— “Tell me, pretty, don’t you ever think about where your daddy gets all those pretty dresses for you?” When you hesitate, he sighs out of disappointment. “—There’s nothing in that pretty little head of yours. I bet you’d scream and cry and call me a liar when I tell you that Geto Suguru is a mafia boss.”
You felt like throwing up and crying, you did. But you try your best not to look shocked, out of fear of what he’d say. He starts to laugh, and laugh, and although it was a sound so sweet, it sounded like a song of death. “You should’ve seen the look on your face. Priceless, really. Shocked that your daddy isn’t a successful millionaire who magically has legitimate money to provide for you? No, angel— he kills fucking loads of people while you worry about what to wear. And I do as well.”
The last sentence is a lilt, a taunt. You bite back a sob, trying to hear the rest of the story as he continues.
“But we’re not on the same side of the coin, you know? Then, now, it’s quiz time!” You could hear his sinister smile from behind. “Now why, oh why, would I kidnap such a helpless little dumb girl?”
You hesitate but reply, not wanting him to hurt you, or worse, kill you. “B-because I’m a useful bargaining chip.”
“Oooh! Maybe you aren’t that stupid! Yes, that’s absolutely correct.” He cheerfully claps. “Geto is paranoid after you didn’t come back to your house, you know? He’s willing to do anything for you, princess.” His hand on your throat loosens, and you gasp for air. One of his slender fingers prod up your chin, and taps your lips teasingly. “And I mean everything.” His voice is deeper now, slow and dangerous. Your mouth starts to dry.
”Obviously, killing you would be incredibly beneficial. Geto won’t be able to think straight. He’d be too heartbroken to do shit.” His finger strays to your neck, sliding his nail against your throat as if to cut it, and you hold your breath in dread. He bursts into giggles seeing you in terror.
“But oh, why would I just finish off such a useful pretty thing? You have plenty of other uses, angel…” he trails off and without warning, flips you over easily.
You are greeted with familiar blue eyes, painfully beautiful as usual, ivory locks dangling downwards. You wince at the light on the ceiling, a luxurious chandelier. He has on the same suit, you notice, and then realize it was a mafia attire all along. His hand is still at your throat, and his other hand has released your ass, but instead held a dangerously silvery gun aimed right at your chest.
“Please don’t kill me,” you blurt out.
“Hmm, I established that I won’t. Scared already?” He drawls, his eyes flickering over your body to inspect you. You feel too vulnerable, especially since your dress is too thin for your sake; but with your hands tied back, you are powerless.
“Fear suits you, princess.” His eyes have that adoring look again, as he squeezes your neck, your eyes roll up, feeling dizzy without air. “Fuck,” he groans, looking at your beautiful expression. Yes, fear really does suit you, he thinks. He could feel his erection tighten in his pants. He wants you, he wants to drill his cock I right fucking now, oh, he just wants to see that dizzy dumb look on you. You look so pretty, for what?
“Why are you so fucking beautiful, princess?” He tightens his grip around your neck, and tears form in the corner of your lovely eyes. “Shit,” he whimpers, pushing in his gun harshly between your tits and you whine at the cold iron intruding your skin. Your heart is thumping fast enough to make the gun bob up and down, but you feel your thighs start to clench for unknown reasons. His eyes are entrancing enough for you to think that it is not so bad to let this man have your way with you.
“Oh, oh my.” His voice drops, and he grins when you arch your back so your tits jiggle between the pistol. “You’re a dirty little freak, angel. You’re enjoying this.” He shoves the gun into your mouth without warning and you choke, thin stripes of saliva seep down to your chin. “Your poor daddy doesn’t know his girl’s a slut.” He prods the gun in deeper, making you gape your mouth, and he chuckles at your expression. “Does it hurt?” When you meekly nod, he smirks and pushes it even deeper to make you gag. “Of course it does, it’s meant to hurt.”
Maybe it was his harsh treatment that made your eyes water- or the pain. You feel your eyes start to sting, and a tear escapes your eye. You wonder what Geto would say, or if you could ever come back home alive.
“Hey, focus on me, will you, pretty?” A single prod of the gun forces your attention back on him, and when he sees your red eyes, he laughs, and a subtle moan is mixed in it. “If you’re trying to make me pity you, it’s not working,” he snickers. “In fact, it’s doing the absolute opposite, angel.” His other hand takes a harsh hold of your hair and shoves your head towards the gun. You scream at the sharp sting that likely made something bleed inside your mouth, but he pays no notice.
“Ever sucked dick before?” He asks you, nudging the cold metal up, and when you shake your head quickly, hoping he’d stop- he snickers. “It shows,” he teases you, but his eyes are not amused at all- instead, there is a primal flare inside of them, and he slowly drags the body out of your mouth and down to your tits again. You shiver a little at the sticky wetness- but you are relieved as you gasp in short breaths.
“Bet nobody ever got the chance to touch you like this.” He tosses the gun carelessly next to you, and you jolt a little at the loud noise. With a chuckle, his hands find your panties. He hooks one of his fingers under them and plays with the thin fabric, and then looks right at you with his ethereal eyes, waiting for your reply.
“No,” you whisper, avoiding his intense gaze. Every corner of your skin feels raw and cold, except for your cheeks and your pussy- as he was tracing a teasing line on it. You didn’t like how you were feeling. Your heart was beating fast- out of fear or out of lust, you do not know. Your stomach churns out of guilt. Geto must be worried sick—
A sharp spank against your now-bare clit makes you cry out and buck your thighs, cutting off your thoughts. You look up shakily to see him stare at you condescendingly.
“That’s no way to behave, princess.” He shakes his head in mocking condescension, seizing your head with his hands when you try to look away again. “Weren’t you begging me to fuck your tits with a gun earlier?” When you shake your head, trying to deny it, he laughs and pushes in a digit into your pussy without warning, making you whimper. “You lie so badly, baby, it’s cute.” Your thighs start to shake when he adds in another, and a foreign coldness enters in as well. You glance down as far as you can with him holding your head in place. His fingers quickly disappear in and out, covered with your cum.
“Barely even started, and she’s already so fucking wet.” He leans back to let his snowy locks tremble a little, letting out an unapologetic groan. You hate that it has an effect on you— you feel something right inside of you burn and unveil.
But just as the strands of your pleasure unwind, he abruptly pulls his digits out, smirking at your flushed and hazy expression as he licks the white substance clean from his fingers.
You are confused, and your pussy is angry for release. You stare at him with pleading eyes silently, but he tilts his head as if he is clueless.
“Is there something you need, sweet?” He asks innocently.
You nod, staring back at him, hoping he will get that you need his fingers pumping into you right now. But his eyes darken and he chuckles.
“No wonder you were so easy to drug and kidnap. Did your daddy give you everything you wanted without asking? Use your words, dumb girl.” He flicks your forehead with his fingers and you wince at the pain that rings through your skull as if he had just punched you.
“I-I need to cum,” you whisper. Your eyes and nose burn with incoming tears.
“You’re gonna have to try harder than that, angel.” He tuts at you, and you feel your clit throbbing in frustration.
“Please,” you finally crack, tears are painting your face but you ignore them as you sniffle. “Please let me cum,” you beg.
“Are you doing that on purpose? Aw, what a dumb and pretty whore you are.” You look up at him, the mean words go through one ear and exit the other. All you wish for is a sweet release- but he does not give you his fingers. Instead, they fly to his belt, unbuckling it with a smooth click. The expensive black leather falls on your thigh.
And he suddenly picks up the discarded gun next to you, and he loads it. Your heart that was beating with desire soon warped into terror. That was it, this devastatingly handsome maniac was going to kill you.
“Geto has no problem looking at guns. Why are you so afraid of them, angel?” He teases, and nudges the icy metal inside your leaking clit. Angry at the foreign intrusion, it immediately clamps over it. With one hand, he bucks the pistol in and out. It is shoved in with such force that you can feel the tip hit your womb. You whine out, crying that he is being too harsh. He ignores you.
“mmm, f-fuck.” Your lips are tapped open by his angry dick, red and huge. It was huge. You open your mouth a little, and he snorts— “—angel, open up wider, I can’t fit my cock into your cute little mouth.” The gun prods your sensitive g-spot and you let out a loud moan. “A-ah!” When your mouth opens up wide, he takes the opportunity to push in his gigantic erection. You tentatively suck at it, lolling your tongue around his cock like it’s a lollipop.
“ah— fuck!” He throws his head back to moan shamelessly, grunting out strained words. “mmm— jus’ like that angel, now you’re sucking properly, s-shit, who taught you how to suck dick?” He pushes in the gun harder in sync with his erection, and you squeal— “-y-you, daddy, you t-taught me how,” you mewl between sucks- and he grunts breathlessly. “aah, attagirl. Only I get to teach this pretty slut how to suck off.” He thrusts into your mouth, and your mouth gapes. “—this pretty mouth,” he adds in a finger with the loaded gun, scissoring them in and out rapidly until your thighs tremble so much they hurt- “—belongs to me.”
“P-please,” you beg again- tears trickle out of your eyes again this time because of the constant stimulation- they trickle down the same path over your cheeks. “please, ah!— ‘m g-gonna cum,” you plead desperately.
“f-fuuck, cum, angel,” he groans against your ear as he thrusts in violently- “mouth so fucking good, wanna fill it up with my cum—“ with a loud moan, your thighs shiver and a thick wetness is released. Your mind goes blank and you gasp, dizzy, the world spins around you and everything tastes too sweet. You blink rapidly to look properly, and feel a sticky substance run down your throat and over your face, trickling down your chin, painting your lashes. It tastes sweet, and you smile dumbly at him, whose dick hovers above you, dripping with thick ropes of cum.
“You going home tonight, princess?” He asks with a smirk. Your eyes are glazed and your head rings with the intensity and the throbbing of your pussy that still clenches around his fingers. “Want me to set you free so you can go to your daddy?” He teases, but he knew he was not letting you go now- oh, not when he found out that your mouth was too good to be abandoned.
“‘wanna stay here longer,” you whine- the words come out slurred as you lull to the side a little and smile widely. “don’t wanna go home,” you mewl, staring up at him with a plea. “—wanna, wanna f-fuck all night,” you continue with a dizzy grin, eyes drooping.
”When did you become so greedy, angel?” He chuckles at your dumbed-out expression, but his eyes glitter with victory. Yes, this was better than making Geto feel pain. You were an angel, yes, straight from heaven, to save him from his boring days of bloodshed.
“Oh, I’m introducing myself late.” He remembers he hasn’t even told you his name, and he grins when you don’t seem to hear, but to stare at his cock that lowers down to tease your entrance this time. You are adorable, dumb, naive, an innocent little thing who is too easy to convince.
“I’m Gojo Satoru. But jus’ call me daddy, m’kay?” He puts both hands around your waist and leans on your shoulder with a contented sigh. “That’s alll you need to know about me right now, angel.”
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©yumeboshi 𐙚 .。do not copy/repost my works outside tumblr ・ MINORS DNI
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lanadelnegan · 1 day
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so basically instead of eugene its reader and negan finds it super hot that she's hot and has brains, and while she's explaining how to make bullets all he can stare at is how tiny her articles of clothing are and maybe fucks her in the building while the guards are right outside? love your writing
Ahhh i love this idea so much.
Smarty Pants
Negan x F!Reader
Warnings: 18+, smut, p in v, quickie with Negan while the others are outside
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"And, so, yeah, that's how you make a bullet." You pushed your glasses further up the bridge of your nose, hesitantly looking up at the Savior's leader before you.
A smirk lingered at the corner of his mouth as his eyes slid slowly up your body before landing on your eyes. You blushed, realizing he'd been staring and silently praised yourself for choosing to wear a spaghetti strapped sundress today. It was yellow, your favorite color, and contrasted perfectly with your skin. You'd be lying if you said you weren't trying to impress him.
The only good thing about being at the sanctuary was getting to look at Negan everyday. Although you missed your friends back home, it wasn't so bad here. And, at least Daryl was here with you, even though he was a prisoner.
Your eyes flashed to Daryl, who standing behind Negan with cuffs shackled to his ankles and wrists. You felt an immediate sense of guilt every time you saw him. It wasn't fair that you got special treatment just for being highly intelligent. Daryl had just as much - if not more - to offer the saviors. The difference is, you were willing to succumb to them. To Negan.
Negan noticed you eyeing Daryl, making you nervously turn away and head inside. Before you could make it too far down the hall, Negan’s voice stopped you.
"Not so fast, smarty pants.” He slowly walked towards you, baseball bat in hand and your heart raced in your chest. You backed against the wall while Negan stood in front of you in a fitted white t-shirt.
"Darlin'. Have I properly thanked you for the service you're doing here?" His voice was deeper than usual and the sound of it alone made you wet.
"N-no, but no need, sir..”
"Oh, how inconsiderate of me." His voice boomed. “I would love the chance to show my appreciation to my sweet, little bullet maker. If you're up for it?"
You politely nodded and his grin deepened as he looked down at you.
"That’s a good girl." Lucille touched your ankle, stinging your skin but you didn't move. The head of the bat traced up your leg lightly, leaving a mark until it reached your sensitive thigh. You felt the bottom of your dress lifting as Negan watched.
"Like opening a birthday present, baby. Did you wear this pretty dress just for me?”
You nodded again, causing him to pull his bat away and lean it against the wall beside you.
“Can’t hear you, sweetheart. Speak when you’re spoken to.” He whispered in your ear.
“Y-yes. I wore it for you.” You admitted, earning a pleased chuckle from him.
“Yeah? You want my attention, baby? You’ve fuckin' got it.”
Your body shivered when his hand slid up your thigh and reached your panties. You were already soaked and from Negan’s reaction, it was obvious. He let out a satisfied groan before pressing his lips to the sensitive spot underneath your ear.
“So warm and wet for me already. Tell me what you want, darlin’.” He whispered, and you heard the sound of his pants quickly unzip.
"I want.. you to fuck me. Right here, please."
Negan chuckled and lifted you suddenly by your thighs, guiding your legs around his waist.
“That? Is exactly what the fuck I wanted to hear.”
He pulled your panties to the side while pressing you against the wall and entered you completely, not giving you time to adjust. Your mouth fell open into an "o" shape at how deep he went. You both let out a satisfied groan before his thrusts became steady and fast.
"Oh my goddd! It's so.. so.." You tried to finish your sentence but he took your breath away, so he finished it for you.
"Big. I know baby, and I am balls fucking deep in you right now. Taking me like a champ. I am so. fucking. proud. of you baby girl." He grunted while he spoke filthy words in your ear and you held onto him tight.
Burying your face into the side of his neck, you cried from the overwhelming fullness. Each one of his thrusts made your stomach tighten and your vision became blurry as you moaned loudly in his ear.
"Goddamn it, you feel so good wrapped around my dick. Who do you belong to?”
“You! Negan!”
“That’s fucking right, baby. You are mine.” He pumped into you harder, making you see stars as his hands squeezed your ass cheeks hard enough to leave bruises.
You could hear the guards talking right outside, knowing they could enter at any moment, but the thought of getting caught was even more thrilling. Your orgasm was coming quickly and so hard it made your eyes water.
"Ohhh fuck, I can feel you throbbing baby. Let me have it, cum for daddy." He sank his teeth into your neck, undoubtedly leaving a hickey.
“Negan! Negan! I’m cumming!” You screamed.
“Shit doll, me too. Fuck, fuck.” Negan groaned loudly as he came inside of you. He kissed you before setting you down on your feet and pulling out of you. Seconds later you felt your panties pool with his warm liquid and all you wanted to do in that moment was taste it.
"Goddamn that was exactly what I fuckin' needed!" He laughed, zipping himself back in his pants. "But I am nowhere near done with you, darlin'. How would you like stay in my room tonight?
"I thought.. that was just for your wives.."
"Jesus, I am so sorry." He said sarcastically. "I assumed you were one of them now considering I just fucked your brains out?"
Was he.. asking me to be his wife?
"Oh.. um. I mean, I want to be, so..." You paused, waiting for him to continue.
"If you're expecting a formal proposal, don't." He chuckled. "The only time you'll see me on my knees is when I'm eating that sweet pussy. Now sweetheart, we were not finished with our conversation outside. Let's go." He picked up Lucille and you followed him back outside, listening to his happy whistle as the rest of the group went silent and stared at us awkwardly.
Oh god, they totally heard everything.
"Continue." Negan demanded.
Simon cleared his throat and continued talking to the group. You shifted uncomfortably at the warmth in your panties, trying to focus on what they were saying but Negan's breath against your ear distracted you.
"Those panties stay on for the rest of the day. No exceptions."
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sundrop-writes · 2 days
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One Moment Per Episode With Dick Grayson
Season One, Episode One: "Titans"
Summary:
You and Dick haven't spoken since the Titans parted ways in San Francisco five years ago.
Even though you used to be as close as two people can be, both of you are doing just fine leading your own separate lives - until your psychic powers cause you to have a vision of the end of the world, and you have to turn to him for help. As much as Dick doesn't want to get involved, you know that him leading The Raven on the path she needs to travel is the only way to stop the terrible fate you saw.
He wants to deny it, and stay as far away from you as possible - but he can't avoid you or the truth that you have told him when he runs into that very Raven you speak of in an interrogation room later that night. He has to face a simple truth he has always known: you're always right.
Dick Grayson x Fem!Powered!Reader. Childhood Friends/Exes to Lovers. Emotional Angst and Bantering/Humor. Set during Season 1, Episode 1.
Word Count: 2,300
DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link
Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: the reader uses she/her pronouns (some people might accuse the reader character in this story of being more of an OC and I am okay with that - I try to make all the reader characters in my other stories as blank and open as possible and every now and then I let myself have a little bit of a treat) - but as usual with my stories, the majority of pronouns used in the fic are you/yours; other than clothing style and a scar that informs her backstory, the reader's looks are not described and are left vague (as far as race, body type, hair colour, etc. - those things are not described); the reader character does have powers - I might make a separate post detailing the reader's entire backstory and power set (or I might just let it be spelled out slowly through the chapters) - but for now, I will tell you that the reader character is psychic and can see glimpses of the future in dream-like visions; the reader and Dick are 'exes' - their relationship was never official (they never explicitly called each other boyfriend/girlfriend), but they used to have sex often (and they both have feelings for each other that they never openly spoke about), and they are childhood friends, so there is a lot of emotional history there; mentions of canon-typical violence; this fic does use Y/N; mentions of the reader being shot during a past undescribed incident; there is references to sex and discussions of sex, but no explicit smut (but there might be some later in the story? idk yet); emotionally constipated Dick Grayson; idk what else ? - pining, emotional angst, using humor to deflect emotional tension, banter. I just really like the vibes of this. there is not a lot of big content warnings for this fic (yet).
A/N: Honestly, I am really excited about this one. I have a lot of ideas for future episodes (especially the episode where Dick loses it emotionally and just gets followed around by a hallucination of Bruce for the entire episode - but that's not until Season 2, oop). Titans is one of my favourite series ever - if you couldn't tell - so getting to examine each episode closer and appreciate each individual episode as a unique piece of art while writing this instead of binging a whole season gives me a whole new appreciation for the show. I hope you guys enjoy these as they come out - especially because I do have an idea of where this fic is going, but I don't know where I want these characters to go in Season 4. (I kind of want to do a secret surprise reveal of two of the characters being related and being siblings, but... idk. Sometimes people don't like that.) But this is definitely a good opportunity to send me ideas of where you want this story to go/how you want it to end up. Anyway - please enjoy!!!
....
Dick needed some fucking air. 
He could barely fucking handle today. He had to compose himself before he lost it and started breaking things. It was all such a shitshow - the department pushing a new partner on him, footage of Robin all over the news, every other half-cocked beat cop making comments about how Robin was just another masked psychopath who wasn’t that different from The Joker. 
Fuck them. 
If they only knew what Gotham was like - if only they had to deal with a department full of asshole’s on the Joker’s payroll. If only they had to watch criminals walk away because they made bail on the decision of a corrupt judge. If only they had to sit behind a desk and listen to a mother’s sobs as she begged for him to find her missing child - knowing how many people elbow to elbow with him would laugh at her tears rather than start looking. 
If they only spent one night tending to civilians while the smell of burning flesh permeated the air, with the Joker’s screaming laugh stuck in their ears because he thought that bombing a low-income housing complex was just that funny. 
Fuck all of them. 
Dick clenched his fist tight - his knuckles aching as he resisted the urge to drive his arm right through the glass at the front of the precinct. He just - he really needed some air. 
Dick walked out the front doors (rather than smashing the glass), and took a deep breath of the cool night air, trying his best to calm down. It was getting late, and things were relatively slow, even for it being a Tuesday. No influx of late-night chaos yet. He had some time to collect himself before- 
“So - Robin’s in Detroit now, huh?” 
That voice. 
Dick felt the sting of familiarity pluck at his spine, and he whipped his head around at lightning speed, looking in the direction of the voice. Surely enough - you were the one standing there. It hadn’t been some kind of auditory hallucination on his part. 
So much for time to calm himself down. 
He was immediately met with a confliction - lust and annoyance bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t want to see you again, he didn’t want you to be here, especially not without warning. But you looked so damn good - it was a distraction from that fact. 
That was always the thing about exes, wasn’t it? 
(If Dick could even call you his ‘ex’ - the two of you had slept together more times than he could count, both metaphorically and literally, but the two of you had never put an official label on the relationship like he had with Dawn or Barbara. He cared for you like a friend, and like a lover in a way that he was never willing to admit - but did that make you his ex? Especially if he never stopped caring about you?) 
That thing about exes being: they always look so fucking good when you see them after a long time of being apart. The universe dangling something in front of you that you’re not allowed to have and technically, should no longer want. 
But oh - Dick found himself wanting so very badly. (And he tried his hardest to hide that fact as he continued to carefully stare you down.) 
Because you looked so good. 
You were wearing something of your usual style - an outfit of many confusing layers that somehow showed off the natural curves of your body and hid you all at the same time. 
A long skirt with a ruffled hemline and bold, colorful pattern. A pair of boots that you had probably gotten from some vintage store that were likely older than both you and Dick, leathery and well worn in. Your jacket was much the same - a supple brown leather with a soft fur lining that made you look very warm and cozy. 
Topped off with a pair of the largest, gaudiest dangling earrings that Dick had ever seen - the kind that would have gotten snagged on one of his nice shirts and gotten the two of you tangled up during one of your hook-ups. A pair of earrings that he would have scolded you for wearing - but he would have delighted in finding them on his bedroom floor after you left because it meant having a piece of you still with him. And it would mean having an excuse to visit you later because he had something of yours to return. 
Those earrings glistened in the light of the street lamps, just as your eyes did while you stared him down with those inquisitive, knowing eyes. Looking at him with that same expression you always wore - the one that seemed to say you knew everything that he never would. It equally fascinated him and infuriated him. 
He hated the fact that you had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, causing his heart to race - had you snuck up on him on purpose? Did you find it funny? 
“Y/N,” Dick said your name curtly, still feeling a slight twinge of shock that you were standing in front of him at all. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 
You let out a dry chuckle, and stepped closer to him, making his whole body stiff. His first instinct was to step backward - to gain more distance from you. But he didn’t want to seem like he was afraid of you - afraid of that closeness. So he forcefully locked his legs and stayed in place as you drifted closer, and you idly conversed back. 
“Oh, Dickie.” You sighed in return, using his childhood nickname. “A warm welcome as always.” 
Dick rolled his eyes at this. Did he really need to bother with manners and formalities? The two of you had known each other for so long, he guessed that you were both well over stuff like that. 
“Do I need a reason to be here? Can’t I just visit an old friend?” You posed, a humorous tone still running through your voice. 
He shoved his hands into his pockets as he took a more defensive stance. He quickly went from shock then to annoyance. 
The two of you were old friends - you had known each other since you were in diapers together. The two of you had grown up together, raised by a unique circus family. And that meant that Dick knew you well enough to know that if you were here, you had a good reason to be. 
(If you had wanted to chase him when he first left Gotham, you likely would have camped out in the trunk of his car, or you would have shown up at his new apartment the day after he moved in. You wouldn’t have waited this long to contact him.) 
“Do us both a favor and cut the bullshit, please.” Dick replied sternly. “Why are you here?” 
“Grumpy.” You sighed, sounding defeated. 
He waited for a moment, and surely enough - you folded, now willing to directly explain your reason for showing up in Detroit so suddenly. 
“I had a vision.” You explained. “A girl. The Raven. A lot of others consider her to be the eater of worlds, but she is the one who is going to save us all, Dick.” 
He let out a harsh puff of air, reaching up and running fingers roughly over his temple. Yup, there it was - the headache had fully set in now. He really didn’t need this. Not tonight. 
He had known about your visions for a long time. When he was younger, he had been shocked to find out that you had inherited your mother’s ‘gift’. He previously had no clue that her set-up as a sideshow fortune teller with Tarot cards and a large crystal ball wasn’t all psychology tricks and half-guesses she put on for tourists - but in fact, it was actually something informed by larger supernatural forces at play. And it was something you could do as well. 
So he was inclined to believe you when you told him about this vague vision, but he also didn’t want to be involved. He had a lot on his plate right now - he didn’t need this. 
“Look, I’m sure that whatever you saw was important, but-” He began. 
You sighed and shook your head harshly at this ‘but’. 
“Why don’t you just take it to New York instead? This kind of thing is way more Donna’s speed, anyway. I’m sure she can help you find this girl, and-” 
“That won’t help.” You told him. “The girl is already on her way here.” 
You spoke the words with such utter certainty, and it sent shivers up Dick’s spine. The calm, tranquil look on your face - the ominous wiseness you held: it reminded Dick so much of your mother. The other-worldly authority she held that had ultimately gotten her killed. It was strangely creepy. 
“Just so you know, I hate it when you say ominous shit like that.” Dick told you, gesturing to your person with stiff offense in his body. “Just because your mother played the creepy voodoo witch for tourists doesn’t mean you have to.” 
“I’m not playing.” You replied, exasperated. 
You knew that Dick could be frightened of your powers at times. He was someone very logic-based - he built his beliefs around facts. So having you follow your visions and your ‘gut feelings’ when they were never concrete, changing on a dime - he hated the uncertainty and chaos that came with it all. But you had learned to trust yourself and your feelings over time, even if he didn’t. 
“And you know, you’re involved in this whether you want to be or not.” You told him, trying to get the conversation back on track. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Robin made his first appearance in months last night.” 
Dick became stiff at this, and quickly glanced around - as though waiting for someone to appear out of nowhere and point an accusing finger at him, screaming out that he was Robin and he had been caught. 
“You can’t help it, Dick Grasyon.” You declared with intense certainty. “You need to save people, you need to feel like you’re making a difference, you-” 
“So what, now you expect me to save the whole fucking world?” Dick snapped back. 
“She does.” You corrected. 
“Who?” He replied - confused and once again annoyed at your mysticism and bold confidence in your visions. 
“The Raven.” You told him. “She needs you. And whether you like it or not, you need her.” 
You shifted your stance then, waiting for him to tell you that you were right - which was how most of your arguments ended. 
But then, as a sick reminder, the lapel of your jacket opened enough for Dick to get a glance at your chest. The neckline of your blouse was wide open, but his eyes weren’t drawn to your cleavage - instead, he became focused on a large scar that you had sitting over your heart. A place where a bullet had ripped through you, leaving you barely alive. 
He still remembered the feeling of your blood warm under his hands while you looked up at him with tears in your eyes, begging him to save you. He remembered sitting at your bedside, believing that you would never wake up again. 
He couldn’t help but to reach up and gently skim his thumb across the roughness of the scarred skin as he glared at it with a stiff jaw. The touch sent shivers through you - it was the first time he had touched you since that last night in Gotham, when you had woken up to an empty bed and absolutely no explanation as to where he had gone. 
Dick felt rage boil inside of him. 
How could you ask him to save the world when he had been responsible for this? 
This - this was why he was no fucking savior. 
“You shouldn’t be here.” He said, choking on the words slightly as he took his hand down, shoving it back into his pocket once again. He had to avoid the temptation of touching you any further. 
If you weren’t safe around him, why would some little girl from your visions be? 
“This isn’t about me.” You scoffed. “Or-” 
‘Or us.’ 
You held back, knowing how dangerous it was to mention the royal Us around flighty Dick Grayson. For a bird without wings, he was absolutely capable of taking off in a quick moment when he wanted to. 
“This is about something so much bigger.” You pressed. “She’ll be here soon.” 
Dick let out another strained sigh at you using such ominous words again. 
“Well, next time you’re gonna come here and be all ominous and creepy, you should at least bring some coffee.” He told you, sarcasm tight on his lips. 
You made a mocking face in return. 
“Well, you could be more polite.” You scoffed. 
Before Dick could recommend that the two of you go and get a coffee in order to truly catch up, someone called out his name, drawing his attention away from you for a moment. 
“Hey, Grayson!” Someone called, sticking their head out the front door. “Prentiss is looking for you!” 
When he turned back, you were gone. He tried not to linger on it too much - how creepy it was. You were silent and quick like a ghost - he thought that your ominous jewelry might jingle like a house cat’s bell. 
But - he would call you later. Hopefully you still had the same number. 
Dick walked into the interrogation room, trying to clear his mind of the interaction with you. When he saw a small, scared girl, he thought it best to lighten the mood with a joke. 
“Hi, I’m Detective Grayson.” He said, introducing himself. “I hear you like to play baseball with bricks and cop cars. You wanna tell me what happened?” 
“You’re him.” She said, whimpering and tearful. “You’re the boy from the Circus.” 
At first, Dick thought that everyone was simply being ominous and creepy today. But then he realized:
‘Oh fuck. You were right.’
...
A/N: Please do not ask me when this fic will be updated - this fic does not have a schedule.
While this is technically the first chapter in a 'series', each chapter is meant to be enjoyed on its own. The overarching plot of the series is still that of the original Titans show, and I won't be making any major changes to the canon of the show - I just intend to showcase smaller emotional moments between the reader character and the canon characters. This is something I want to work on casually in the background between working on other things. This fic is not my main focus, and I will not be rushing to update it or complete it.
Comments and reblogs are encouraged, and I am thankful for them - but please keep those comments focused on the actual content of the series (it's plot, the characters, their dynamics, etc.). Please do not spam me asking me to update this or asking me when I will update this - because I am not in a rush to do so. I have a lot of ideas for this series that I am excited about, but I want to work on it slowly and casually because I don't want to lose my enthusiasm for it and I know that rushing will take that enthusiasm away.
If you enjoyed this - great, thanks. But if you expect this to be updated weekly like a factory pumping out stuff on a clearly outlined schedule - then you are in the wrong place. If you are expecting constant updates of this fic and you will be disappointed if it doesn't get updated regularly - you should just block me now and pretend you didn't read it. But if you are a patient person - feel free to read and enjoy my other Titans works while I am working on updates for this (and working on other exciting things), and feel free to send me a message telling me what you thought of this fic or other fics in general.
Also - if you can't get Dick Grayson off your mind - my requests are open.
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