#i hated my art and how i drew them so badly

[tailsdollr]

warm to my heart!

#my art #art #doodles #amy rose #amy the hedgehog #sonic #sth #sonic the hedgehog #tails doll #i have to admit something personal #i had not stopped drawing sonic art due to falling out or anything #i love sonic! so much! #i just was not happy with m y work #i hated my art and how i drew them so badly #but now im a bit more confident #i hope youll stay tune:] #ill be drawing more you can absolutely send requests and ill continue to work on my exe projects

[rainybubbles]

How do you meet COD men ?

Price, Soap, Rudy, Ghost, Gaz, Keegan

(Sorry in advance for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. So sorry if it's badly written or if they're OOC. )

P R I C E :

-"I'm going to die," you say to your friend.

-"What ? Why would you die ?"

-"I sent a pregnant Shrek cake to a military base."

-"Why would you do that ?!"

-"This guy ordered a cake for his soldier's birthday, but I also had the order for a prank and...

-"You mixed up the two boxes."

-"Yes."

-"So, actually,....a soldier is opening his box and..."

-"And he will see a pregnant Shrek cake."

-"...It was good to know you when you were alive."

-"You're supposed to reassure me !"

-"Oh sorry. You will die fast, don't worry. It's their job"

-"Fuck you."

-"How was the guy who ordered ?"

-"Like he could crash my head between his arms"

-"Shit."

-"But he was handsome, I guess."

-"Guess your last view will be nice, at least."

-"Shit, how do I even excuse myself for that ? I can't go to the base and say "sorry I sent a Shrek cake, but it was a mistake can you let me in ?"

-"I guess you just say it," a man says.

-You gulp when you recognize the Captain who ordered you the cake.

-"Sir, I'm so sorry, I swear it's not on purpose, I just mixed two orders and..."

-"And you made my boys laugh after a rough mission."

-"oh."

-"So thanks. Of course, it was not what I planned for a birthday, but seeing them happy was nice."

-"You're..welcome, I guess ?"

-He smiles.

-"But don't ever do another pregnant Shrek when I order from you, next time, please."

-"Next time ?"you say surprised.

-"It was delicious, I don't plan to change a good baker," he smiles.

And that's how you gain a regular after offering a pregnant Shrek cake. (even though each time he sees green on your hand, he seems scared when he takes the box.)

S O A P :

- He drew you like Gollum.

- I know, it sounds horrible, let me explain.

- You needed money, and you offered your services as a model for art classes.

- Soap was one of the students.

- During his leaves, he often took art classes to relax.

- And usually it goes well.

- But when he saw you....he thought he could never do justice to your face.

- He felt so self-conscious about his skills that he ended up doing a horrible portrait of you.

- And it could have ended up here, but the teacher decided to show everyone's pieces of art to analyze them

- So you saw Soap's piece where you looked like Gollum.

- And you knew it was from him.

- Everyone has a smile, while he was terrified.

- Usually, he's self-confident, but it's on the battlefield, in his life. The art was the only place where he was not sure he belonged too.

- At the end of the classes, he decided to talk to you.

- "I'm sorry for what happened today, I felt anxious and I ended up doing a bad portrait. It doesn't look like you at all."

- You looked up at him and smiled.

- "Why do you apologize? It was fun to see me like this, plus you need to start somewhere, no? You can't be a fucking Leonardo Da Vinci from the first day."

- He was too stunned to speak.

- "John or Johnny," he said.

- You looked at him confused.

- "Name's John, sorry, it seems you really blew my mind."

- You chuckled. "Nice to meet you, John. Hope next time your mind will be more confused for the next class."

- He nodded.

- Wait, did you say the next class? But it was nude models…

- Hope he won't draw a stick figure this time.

R U D Y

- You were an author.

- Well, it was not your main job since you only sold four books this year, but you considered yourself an author.

- And you had a hater. Someone who left a hateful review on each of your books.

- You knew that the next day after publishing your book, he would leave a bad review.

- So when your boss at the library told you that someone was regularly buying your books, you knew it could only be this hater, since the other person who bought your books was your mom.

- And you had had a bad day. So when your boss told you he was there, you were about to confront this hater.

- Maybe to understand what he didn't like or to know if he was just a coward.

- So you strode towards the spot your boss pointed at.

- "Hey, you," you said, not sure what to add after. When the man raised his head, he looked fit, and you knew you couldn't stand a chance in a fight if he decided to fight.

- "Wait, are you the author Y/N?" Rudy asked, with a sparkle in his eyes.

- Wait... A sparkle?

- "Hm, yeah, it's me," you answered, not sure what was happening.

- "I love your work. Your last book was really amazing. I have followed you since your debut."

- Your mouth was open, because :

1. one, your mom had lied to you when she told you she had bought three copies of your book.

2. And second, you had your first fan in front of you.

- "Thanks," you almost said, tears of joy welling up. "Sorry if I sound harsh. I thought you were that hater."

- "Oh yeah, I saw those reviews on your page. He's always there, but don't worry, I'll leave positive reviews to balance it. I'm Rudy, by the way."

- "Nice to meet you, and thanks for loving my work."

- "No need to thank me. I just appreciate good books."

- "What's your favorite, if I may ask?"

- Rudy smiled, and you both started chatting about books that afternoon. Maybe your reviews would improve after this, not just because of your writing, but also because he found you stunning.

G H O S T :

- Ghost scared people on the battlefield.

- However, the people who were most scared of him were the mechanics on the base.

- Ghost was a horrible driver, and everyone knew that.

- So, each time he went to the mechanics, they knew it was because he had done horrible damage to the cars.

- A game was organized whenever Ghost approached – you played rock, paper, scissors, and the loser had to fix his car.

- However, you were new to the base.

- When you saw this guy standing and waiting, you went to him without realizing all this.

- But when you saw his car, you understood why no one else was coming.

- He had a bowling ball in the trunk, the roof was broken, all the windows were shattered, and one tire was burnt.

- "...did you take this on the battlefield?" you asked.

- "No." He said shortly.

- You blinked. "Then why is it in this condition?"

- "There was a grandma on the road."

- "...so, because of a grandma, you have a bowling ball in your trunk?"

- "Because I swerved to avoid her and ended up hitting a bowling alley."

- "How did you even get a driver's license?"

- "The examiner was too sick to see me again for the ninth time, so he just gave it to me."

- "I guess I'll fix your car, but please don't drive if you don't need to, sir."

- "Sure."

- The next day, he was there again with a hole in the car because of a bird. How ? You didn't know.

-But it seemed you had become his official mechanic without even knowing it.

G A Z :

- When he hears your voice in a café, he recognizes you.

- The problem is, he can't come to you.

- Because if he knows your voice, it's because of your streams.

- Your ASMR streams.

- Being a soldier means your sleep schedule isn't really regular, and to help himself sleep, Gaz discovered ASMR.

- He found out about your streams, then your Patreon, and... let's just say your ASMR is spicy.

- So yes, if he says he's a fan of yours, it implies he has to reveal he listens to that in front of his teammates.

- And he's not ashamed of it.

- But he doesn't want Price to know he likes spicy ASMR, just like he wouldn't want to know what Price's fantasies are, or what Ghost likes in bed.

- (He wants to forget Soap's idea about Ghost in pink lingerie and a thong, and the day Price wore latex pants.)

- It's a line he doesn't want to cross.

- But he's also your biggest fan.

- So he tries to walk near you.

- But you're with a friend.

- And he doesn't know if your friend knows about this.

- So he ends up just glancing at you.

- Shit, how does he approach someone who does +18 things, without saying he knows they do this?

- Maybe if he waves... or just says hello? Or maybe if he asks for a selfie or…

- "Are you trying to imitate Ghost?" Soap asks.

- "What? No. Why do you say that?!" Gaz says, looking away.

- "Because you're staring at this person like they killed your dad and ate your mom, then burned your house and kidnapped your dog."

- "...it was really detailed for a scenario," Gaz says, confused.

- "So?"

- "I just know them, but I don't want to disturb them." Gaz says, trying to lie and tell the truth at the same time.

- If Soap finds out the truth, he'll never hear the end of it.

- "Do you want me to call them?"

- "NO. Absolutely not, don't do this, mate."

- "Why not?"

- Because they'll think you listen to their spicy ASMR audios, he wants to say, but he remains quiet.

- God, he feels like a teenager.

- But suddenly, he sees you walking towards them.

- You sit next to them, and... you wink at him, pointing to his key ring on his bag.

- It's your merch.

- Meaning... you know he's a fan.

- "Thanks for supporting me," you whisper before returning to your friend.

- Gaz doesn't speak until he gets back to base, too embarrassed but also too happy.

K E E G A N :

- You were tired.

- The rush had finally ended. It was now 11 PM, and there was this one client who had just ordered 10 Happy Meals.

- You wanted to slap him. He had ordered at 22:57, and the fast food closed at 23:00.

- So you didn't have a choice but to serve him.

- You looked at your colleague, who was sighing, and you nodded.

- You were preparing the trays, ready to see 10 kids running around and getting everything dirty, but…

- It was only one man with a mask.

- When you saw him, you were ready to raise your hands and give him money. Why the heck would a man with a gun and a mask be at a McDonald's at 23:00 buying 10 Happy Meals?

- But he just took them and ate.

- One after another.

- In silence.

- In five minutes.

- And then he left.

- You looked at your colleague.

- "Guess it's as weird as people who order a burger without buns," your colleague said.

- You nodded and thought it was just the one weird client of the day.

- But every Wednesday, he was there, in silence.

- Maybe he hated Ronald McDonald, so he planned to run out of your stock of Happy Meals?

- Or maybe he collected the toys?

- You didn't know, but he was there.

- And you saw him eating those nuggets and fries without sauce.

- He didn't touch his drinks. My, how dry it must be.

- But one Wednesday you took a day off. So when you came back the next day, you joked with your colleague about the Happy Meal guy.

- But they didn't laugh.

- "Who?" they asked.

- And just like that, you realized that when you weren't there, the Happy Meal guy wasn't there either.

- You were scared.

- Maybe he thought buying Happy Meals seduced you, or it was his way of warning you before he would kill you, like a threat, "You'll end up like those nuggets."

- So, when you saw him enter, you sent your colleague.

- However, your manager decided to give you your break at that moment, meaning it would be only you and him in the place.

- You tried to act normally, but you noticed how he seemed not to like his food yet still ate it.

- You sighed and sat next to him, offering him some sauces.

- "It's better with these. You know, you can have them for free in the menu next time."

- He looked at you and nodded.

- He then tried it and smiled.

- That's when you noticed his dog tags.

- "We have a discount for military personnel, so you could take a real meal instead of a Happy Meal if you want to."

- He looked surprised and nodded.

- Next time, he ordered 2 Happy Meals and two regular menus.

- So you smiled.

- Until his other masked colleagues ordered 20 Happy Meals because they liked the skull toys in them.

- Maybe it was just military men who had a problem with Happy Meals.

If you want more : my COD masterlist

And my masterlist

#cod x reader #call of duty x reader #price x reader #john price x reader #captain john price x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #x reader #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #rudy parra x reader #rudy x reader #soap x reader #captain price x reader

[ketterdamskaelishprince]

lenore and the yellow wallpaper (a ramble)

so this is all one entire big and large ramble session from me, so ignore if you want because this has no actual point, and i also haven't touched the yellow wallpaper since i handed it in with my coursework so i'm bound to get things wrong. this is no high-brow analysis, this is just be rambling. i've finally gotten the courage as well to go on the big scary tumblr and speak so be nice please :)

anyways, now we have that out of the way– i bring you my observation.

so i've been rereading nevermore (because i am deep in the trenches of my hyperfixation on it right now and have firmly planted myself there) and i noticed something in episode 21 that i remember noticing the first time.

just for a recap, episode 21 is when they're facing the dementophobia trial, and lenore has gotten herself sucked into a hallucination. through this, we (presumably along with her) are shown parts of her past, and the fallout of her brother dying. in a long scene, we basically see the attic which lenore is forced to 'rest' in.

sorry if this is like an obvious tell, but my little rat brain was vibrating out of my seat to say this.

well, first off, let me just give you a little summary of the yellow wallpaper. we have this nameless woman (who's married) who's also our narrator, her husband: john who's a doctor and we also have john's sister: jennie. jennie isn't too important in the summary but she exists and stuff and there's loads of journals out there probably that could tell you super interesting things about her role in the story.

anyways, i digress. the narrator has been diagnosed with slight nervous tendencies and is given the rest cure therapy as treatment. she ends up slowly going insane in the attic (?) which doubles as a nursery, and there's this fugly yellow wallpaper, which the narrator comments to be basically like a crime to art and to colour in general. anyways, the more she stares at this wallpaper and the longer she stays in the attic, she starts to see a woman behind the wallpaper– and the short story ends with her ripping the wallpaper off and freeing the woman but then also, the story ends essentially with her throwing herself out of the window of the attic and yeah, suicide. there's like allusions to the woman behind the wallpaper and her being one at the end, but WE AREN'T FOCUSSING ON THAT, i've rambled enough.

anyways, how does this all link to nevermore?

THIS PANEL RIGHT HERE.

idk, the act of ripping off the wallpaper just distinctly reminded me of the yellow wallpaper, and i have no idea if the creators drew inspo from the yellow wallpaper for this or if it was one of poe's works (i'm not heavily versed in all of his works, but i have a collection of his stuff i should probably sift through and read). but yeah, thought it was cute.

i know thematically they probably vary, but there is something to be said that both of them are in a situation where society wants so badly to silence them and punishes their defiance with the diagnosis 'madness'.

i dunno, just a nice little thought. there's also the whole rest cure therapy too, and the fact that they're both in the attics of their homes– and i presume lenore is in a secluded countryside place here like the narrator of the yellow wallpaper is. so, you know– other connections!

also, as a side note–

this bad boy right here? ether? well some ether smells sweet, so i thought maybe (as a very dumb end to this ramble) that maybe, lenore associates the sweet smelling scent of what she used to be knocked out with to the sweet scent of flowers– i have no idea if that's why she hates flowers but i thought that was a fun little mention. food for thought, you know?

anyways, if you disagree that is totally ok, i truly don't know what i'm talking about half the time, but this has been bouncing on my tiny brain for the past few days and i decided i needed to let it out before i start plaguing the people i know in real life with my obsession. and also, friends, feel free to correct me if i'm disgustingly wrong on anything– i love to learn <3

and... yeah, that's all folks. gonna go rot now :)

#nevermore webtoon #lenore nevermore #nevermore webcomic #lenore vandernacht #lenore is so mad woman luv her very much #the yellow wallpaper enthusiasts forgive me if i sinned with this one #nevermore #i love my little psycho sapphic comic i read every friday !

[epiclamer]

Could you maybe consider doing an injured Hero x Protective Villain snippet please????

I will pay you in croissants!!

✨️🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐✨️

Eyyyy I missed you Croissant anon!! Of course I can!! Just for you!!

(No reposts but reblogs appreciated <3)

Pants on Fire

“T-tell me again just exactly how you got injured-” Villain cackled, throwing their head all the way back as they tried to calm their hysterics. Hero wasn’t a bad liar, but this time it was just unbelievable.

Hero glared at Villain pointedly, wincing slightly at the pain in both their ribs and their heart at how little the villain seemed to care. Hero had come to them because they knew—at least they thought—that Villain would be caring and understanding. But those seemed to be the last things the other portrayed as they couldn’t stop the laughing fit erupting from their chest.

“I said, I fell down the stairs and landed on my ribs and now my chest hurts. Why don’t you try listening instead of laughing and I won’t have to repeat myself next time?” Admittedly the hero was mad. It hurt to breathe and they were obviously looking at a much more serious injury than what they had expected, but with zero sympathy from Villain, Hero was beginning to feel like they shouldn’t have come to the other at all, let alone with such a terrible case of flail chest.

Villain took another minute to clear their lungs from the laughing and cool down, taking one last deep breath before returning for one last examination of the other’s wound. On the outside it looked like a badly bruised chest, but if you looked a little closer you could see the unevenness in the rib cage and the way it moved in two directions at every breath. It wasn’t great and there wasn’t much treatment for such an injury so Villain wasn’t in the biggest hurry.

“You know, you really underestimate me, huh?” Villain pointed out, grabbing at their oxygen from the medical bag and an un-hot, hot water bottle to secure the area and the hero’s breathing. The perplexed look Hero fixed them with pressed their speech forwards, “I mean, I’m not stupid, Hero. I know you didn’t fall down a flight of stairs and end up with a medical emergency in your spry condition.”

There was a beat of silence before Hero tried to interject, something along the lines of “I’m not lying” or “I really did!” trying to escape their lips, but Villain kept going. Fastening their pace with setting up an oxygen tank for Hero and getting the one in question to secure the water pack on the injured area.

“This is the third time in the past week that you’ve showed up to our fights with a nasty set of bruises or fresh scars I didn’t place.” The villain paused for a moment to open the seal on the air tank in front of them, hooking intricate tubes between the mask and the bottle like a work of art. “I’ve been nice enough to let you off the hook with that—to let whoever has been doing this to you live as far as they have now—but this? Broken ribs? Flail chest? Difficulty breathing? You could die, Hero. This is too far.”

“Your excuses and pretty lies can only get you so far and that’s why now you’re going to be a good little hero for me and you’re going to tell me who has been doing this to you.” Villains words had a slight blush sneaking up along Hero’s neck, but they would never admit they loved the possessive hints in their enemy’s words.

However, when sharp pain shot up Hero’s side and they were beginning to feel lightheaded, they decided they could dwell on complicated emotions like “love” later. It was starting to look bad for Hero and they hated to admit it.

One gentle hand supporting Hero’s face drew their attention away from the painful situation and to Villains piercing gaze instead. “That’s why I’m only going to ask once and you’re going to tell me, because you know I’ll bring you justice and you know I’m only helping you with your job. So tell me, pretty hero, who did this to you.”

This time, Hero didn’t seem to have it in themselves to lie.

#AHHHHHH #YES #OKAY #hero x villain #villain #villain x hero #hero #drabbles #fantasy #imagines #oneshots #scenarios #hero and villain #villain and hero #heroes and villains #villains and heroes #whump #caretaking #whumpee #caretaker #hero whump #injured hero #possessive villain #caretaker villain #flail chest

[badassbbpirates]

Blackbeard Pirates Art Skills Headcanons

Basically, my headcanons on what type of artists Blackbeard and his crew could be. Do what you will with this information.

Blackbeard: He's not the greatest artist, but he's not terrible either. He can do pretty good sketches of people, animals and objects, which he takes some pride in.

Burgess: He's about as good an artist as Luffy is, which is to say he's not very good. For this reason, he's not allowed to help draw up a raid plan for the crew to embark on. Well, actually it's not that he's not allowed-he just doesn't want to because of all the criticism he got the one time he did...

Burgess: Okay! I helped draw up the plans, Laffitte!

Laffitte: Oh, very good! Show it to the group so we can go over it.

Burgess: *lays down drawing, which is the most barely comprehensible drawing the group had ever seen*

Blackbeard: Uh...I can't tell what's happening here...Like what is that big blue and gray mass???

Burgess: It's the marine ship we're raiding.

Laffitte: What's with the giant letter T on that brown square we're all standing on???

Burgess: That's the raft.

Augur: What's with the devil giraffe holding...god, I don't even want to say what it looks like...

Burgess: That's YOU holding your GUN!

Augur: Why is my neck so long???

Burgess: Necks are hard!

Doc Q: Is that amoeba riding that deformed dog supposed to be me and Stronger???

Burgess: *grabs drawing and eats it* I HATE CRITICISM!!!

Blackbeard: Maybe don't draw so badly and we won't criticize...

Laffitte: Will draw the most detailed and perfect images ever, like Da Vinci level art, and say "Honestly, I can't even draw a circle!"

Van Augur: He's a roughly okay artist, but he doesn't draw much so he doesn't mess around with improvement.

Doc Q: He can draw organs, he can draw skeletons, he can draw muscles, he can draw any body part you can think of, but he CANNOT draw people "intact and with the skin still on them", like Blackbeard would probably say. He can draw realistic animals pretty well, though, especially horses. He can also draw cute anthropomorphic animals (Minks? Hybrid Zoans?) pretty good, which was discovered when he was asked to draw up the raid plans one time...

Doc Q: Okay, I got the plans drawn...

Laffitte: Very good! Now show them to the group.

Doc Q: *pushes drawing towards group*

The entire crew are drawn as cute anthro-animals, such as Blackbeard being a hippo, Burgess being a tiger, Augur being a hunting dog of some sort, Laffitte being a dove, and Q being a horse.

Blackbeard: Uh, why are we all Minks?

Doc Q: I can't draw humans...

Burgess: I like how I'm a tiger! It fits me!

Augur: Well, I suppose this is a step up from Burgess's drawing skills...

Burgess: Hey!

Laffitte: Aw, you drew it so CUTE, Doc! I didn't think you had this in you!

Blackbeard: Yeah, I mean, considering how you are, this is a big surprise. Makes me rethink you as a person, actually.

Doc Q: ... *grabs drawing and releases it in the wind*

Laffitte: Aw, no! Don't do that! We were praising it! Not teasing you!

Q's got a reputation he likes to keep intact. He doesn't draw in that style very often.

Shiryu of the Rain: Cannot draw and refuses to demonstrate how bad he is.

Catarina Devon: She can draw perfect images of women, but men...she's not very good at and refuses to improve. One time she was asked to draw up plans, and she drew the entire crew as women, which raised eyebrows.

Blackbeard: Did you seriously have to draw us like this?

Devon: I can't draw male bodies well.

Blackbeard: Okay, I guess that's fair. Which one of us is supposed to be this lady here? Cause, damn! You made her the most hideous!

Devon: That's you.

Blackbeard: *starts to fume*

Augur: Why are Laffitte, Doc and I drawn so...beautifully?

Devon: Eh, you're the most attractive boys out of the crew, so I tried to match that.

Laffitte: Ohhohoho! Thank you!

Doc Q: You think I'M attractive?! *coughs up blood*

Augur: ...Okay.

Blackbeard: *fumes more*

Avalo Pizarro: He draws in a surprisingly cute style, maybe something close to chibi or cutesy-western cartoon style? But he gives everyone cat ears for some reason.

Vasco Shot: He's not the best artist, but he's a LOT better than the crew expects. He claims he draws best when he's really drunk.

Sanjuan Wolf: His drawing style is pretty simplistic, like stick-figure type art. What he draws is pretty comprehensive though, since he usually adds a detail to signify which figure is who, like a top hat for Laffitte, a scythe for Doc Q, or a sword and cigar for Shiryu. He can only draw in the sand or dirt due to lack of giant paper, though.

#blackbeard pirates #blackbeard #marshall d teach #jesus burgess #doc q #laffitte #van augur #shiryu of the rain #avalo pizarro #catarina devon #sanjuan wolf #vasco shot #headcanons #one piece #one piece headcanons #op headcanons

[crepuscularqueens]

tysm for the tag @sambambucky <3 <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

27

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

193,604

3. What fandoms do you write for?

marvel (mostly sambucky but i've played around with other pairings), the magicians (penntin, queliot, wickoff), ofmd, and one black sails fic (despite that being my main fandom i guess lmao, it's so hard to write for because i can't make it better. i just have to make it worse. and boy do i have plans to make it Worse.) (also i do have an rnm fic, almost forgot about that! i would love to write more i just need the inspiration and motivation to hit at the same time lmao)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

he kisses me softly to wake me up (by a wild amount, which i think was just luck of timing with that fandom blowing up overnight) flowers for the gentleman (first published sambucky fic. looking back on it it's like... cute but could be better. natasha is in it though) held by you (felled by you) (my fav of the ofmd fics i put up, personally) what you wanted (first of my tfatws series that accompanied the show. literally wrote each fic as the episodes came out, it was so fun and idk how tf i kept up with it) hear my name in your mouth and i'm done for (hahaha. yeah.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i love responding to comments hehehe! bc i love getting responses when i comment on other author's fics idk it just feels so fun! and when you notice the same people commenting on your fics idk it's just. holding hands with all of you love you sm <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

omg uhhhh jinx i think mine also be a samsteve one lol. stuck in the bed where we lie bc i love writing angst but i usually resolve it? but they're my favorite tragedy forever.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm i guess after it all calms down? resolution of my tfatws series

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not on anything that's still up teehee <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

it's mainly what i write haha oops

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

crossover is when there are characters from two separate medias in one fic right? not like taking characters from one universe and putting them in the other? if it's the first then... no not anymore. no further questions.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of (i'm not like... overly concerned by the idea)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

someone once translated a teen wolf fic i wrote into russain

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i am open to the idea of collaborating like that (i've done events where i drew art to accompany a fic which was really fun and i miss that event a lot)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

i am so so bad at picking favorites, but if you want to go by what i have the most fics and wips for it would be sambucky

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i want to finish shores begging for big moons so badly im so sorry to everyone because. it was so so fun to write! and i had this big grand plan and knew how it would all work out and then.... i hit a wall and now it's been years and i cry for her every day. i could save her! i could do it! but i also need to reread it bc i can't remember the details anymore lmao. it's a daunting task.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think like... rhythm if that makes sense? like i get into a groove of this is what is happening, here are the beats, this is the action and this is the dialogue and it flows so nicely and has a good rhythm to it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

focusing. i get distracted soooo easily, what is that all about haha. ha.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i love seeing it in fic! i'm always scared to include it bc i don't want to mess anything up, so i usually have it from another character's POV and that they don't know what's being said. which is a cop out, i know. i should probably be better about looking into translations!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

harry potter (i know. there is no need to talk about it)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

how do i choose! tbh it's a tie between i bit the fruit and holy water. don't read into that.

absolute no pressure tags for @dr-lizortecho @unwholesome-gay @verdanthoney @nymhciv !

#mine #thank you again for the tag jo :)

[mozywrites]

Sunshine and Vengeance

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Original Characters

Rating: Mature

Content/Warning Tags: Transphobia, Abuse, some Blood and Gore, Mild Sexual Content

Updates on Thursday

Chapter 3

Four Years Ago

Aiden picked at his dress uncomfortably, trying to enjoy a few moments at the party without Nick. Eventually Nick would wonder where he’d gone and come to fetch him. Eventually he would be called back to be used. Nick would need him to smile and flirt, just out of reach of the other vampires, a reminder of what Nick could get for them if they remained on his good side, but for now he could retreat into a corner and hide.

He hated vampire parties. He was the only human here and every glance, every flash of fang and hungry smile reminded him exactly how weak he was. He hated the way they all stared at him and how Nick showed him off, putting him in dresses that showed off the collection of healing puncture wounds on his neck so that everyone knew who he belonged to. Just so that he wouldn’t forget his place. He was a pet. That was all that mattered to Nick. He was just a show of power and status.  

One of the party goers caught his eye and he sighed internally. So much for hiding in a corner.

The man approaching him had an undercut and the top was pulled back into a neat bun. His skin was dark and Aiden could see tattoos under the edges of his shirt and sleeves. The whites of his eyes were red, which wasn’t unusual here, but the contrast with his skin and tattoos was striking. His suit jacket had been patched many times and as he drew closer Aiden could see different insignias and art on the patches. There was something different about this man. He didn’t quite blend in with the crowd. While others seemed to ignore him for that reason, Aiden felt himself drawn to this man.

“You’re an unusual addition to the party.” The man said, flashing Aiden a charming smile.

“You’re one to talk.” Aiden replied, giving the man a once over. Now that the man was in front of him he could see the intricate leather harness he wore over his undershirt. “I don’t recognize you.”

“Ah, you must belong to one of the hosts?”

Aiden bristled at the word “belong” but tried to hide the irritation. He hated being reminded of his position and yet he was always in situations that reminded him. “What gave it away.” He said flatly, raising an eyebrow.

“Aw, an attitude, it’s cute.” The man teased, smirking at Aiden.

“Since it seems you understand why I’m here, I should tell you I belong to your current host. You risk angering him by talking to his pet.” Aiden replied, his voice cold. He no longer cared if this man thought badly of him.

“Perhaps that’s my intention.” The man said, mimicking Aiden’s speech patterns. “Calling humans ‘pets’ is just an excuse for slavery. The nobility have been getting away with it for too long.”

Aiden resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Clearly they were getting away with it. He was here in a room full of people who were okay with it. All they saw was a cute human girl, he had no rights here. Just a pet.

“You don’t seem entirely happy with the situation.” The man observed and Aiden cast him a look.

“This is a dangerous conversation.”

“No one’s paying attention to you, love. Not right now, at least. They’re busy talking about their other conquests.”

“If no one was paying attention to me, you wouldn’t be speaking to me right now.”

The man smirked with an excessive amount of fang. “You’re sharp, I like you.”

“I’m honored.” Aiden deadpanned, resisting the urge to pick at his dress. He hated this. He hated being in this room. Being a woman. Being a pet.

The man snorted softly and held out a hand. “I’m Jasper, it’s nice to meet you.”

Aiden considered the hand and then took it. Jasper brushed his lips over the back of his hand, something Aiden had never gotten used to about vampire society, and flashed him his teeth again.

“I’m Kate.”

His gut twisted as he said his name and it took all his self control not to grimace.

“This is my first of one of these functions, I’m pretty sure no one actually wants me here.” Jasper said quietly, leaning against the wall next to Aiden. “But someone like you, I suspect you have a good sense of each of these vampires and their preferences.”

“Not really, I try not to pay much attention when they’re…when I’m here.” Aiden said, frowning. His hands shook and he crossed his arms tightly across his chest in an attempt to hide it.

“You don’t seem to enjoy your position.” Jasper observed, his voice softening in response to Aiden’s frown.“I hate that the nobility does this.”

Aiden shrugged.

“It’s not just them. My parents didn’t give me much of a choice. They’ve been in debt to his family for generations. He just chose to collect, I guess. It could be worse.”

“So you’re trapped.”

Aiden didn’t respond. He’d already said too much.

Jasper drew closer. They had definitely crossed the line between what was socially appropriate and what was suspiciously close together. Aiden could smell Jasper’s cologne, warm vanilla and spice, and the faint, metallic scent of blood.

“Would it be insensitive to point out that you’re only seeing the worst of vampire society here? Many of the common people don’t approve of the nobility keeping pets.”

“The opinions of the common vampire don’t exactly change my position.” Aiden said bitterly, picking at his dress again.

“I guess not. So what would change it?”

Aiden hesitated. “I shouldn’t be talking about this…”

Jasper shrugged and took a drink from his glass. Aiden’s eyes followed him. “I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble. Maybe this isn’t the best place for this conversation, you’re right. I’m here for information, and your position…it could be valuable, if you were interested.”

“I may be. What would I get for it?”Aiden shifted his gaze as he spoke, tense, trying to figure out where Nick was. If he saw Aiden talking to Jasper for too long it would be bad, for both of them.

“That depends, what do you want?”

“I…” Aiden caught Nick’s gaze and straightened his posture, moving his hands from where they were picking at the details on his dress. He took a step back from Jasper, trying to put a less intimate distance between them. Nick’s eyes narrowed and he began to walk over.

“I should get back to my partner.” He said, putting the mask back on to hide the fear twisting in his stomach. “It looks like he needs me.”

Jasper caught his arm and turned him around, Aiden’s skirt flaring around his legs. He placed a soft kiss on the back of Aiden’s hand and smiled up at him. “Find me outside in an hour. We can talk more.” He said softly. Aiden nodded almost imperceptibly and smiled slightly.

“It was very nice to meet you.” Aiden said, loud enough for Nick to hear, giving Jasper a polite smile. He felt Nick’s arm around his waist and looked up into Nick’s face, noticing how prominent his fangs were as he smiled at Jasper.

“What are you doing over here, pet?”

“I was speaking to one of your guests. Jasper, this is my husband Nick. Nick, this is Jasper.” Aiden said, his “trophy wife” mask providing a wall between him and how much he wanted to cringe away from Nick’s touch. “He was just telling me about how he was interested in you. Something about business.”

“I’m surprised to hear that. I don’t believe we’ve ever met face to face, Jasper, but my captain has told me much about you. What was he asking about, pet?” Nick said, his pleasant tone hiding malice and possession as he brought his fingers to Aiden’s neck, pulling Jasper’s attention to the puncture wounds. Aiden thought he saw a flash of rage in Jasper’s eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Aiden said, feigning ignorance, “you know I don’t know anything about your business. It’s much too complicated for me.”

Nick nodded approvingly and then fixed his gaze on Jasper. “It was a pleasure to meet you, but I’m afraid our attention is needed elsewhere.”

Jasper bowed slightly and didn’t raise his eyes until Nick had turned, making quick eye contact with Aiden before Nick dragged him off to his group of friends. Nick’s hand on his neck was firm as he was led away and his hopes dropped as Jasper disappeared from his sight.

-

Nick kept a close eye on him after Jasper left, an arm tight around his waist, fingers digging into Aiden’s side painfully. Aiden watched the hour mark as it came and passed and he still wasn’t able to get away from Nick. It had been nearly two hours by the time Aiden was able to slip away from him. He claimed to need to use the bathroom and snuck out the back door without any of the servants seeing. Everyone here worked for Nick, even just one suspicious move and Nick would know immediately that Aiden had been betraying him.

Once outside Aiden leaned against the wall of the building, reveling in the dark and the quiet.

It was only a few minutes before Jasper found him. He was almost surprised, no part of him would have been shocked if Jasper had given up waiting for him.

Here in the dark alleyway Jasper felt much more dangerous. The smell of blood that surrounded him was unmistakable and suddenly Aiden felt anxiety rise in his chest. What if he had just made a terrible mistake? What if this vampire was just planning on draining him and leaving him to die?

Jasper kept some space between them, as if he could feel Aiden’s anxiety.

“I almost started to think you weren’t coming out here.” He said softly, leaning his shoulder against the wall and crossing his arms.

“Nick is suspicious. Or, possessive. He didn’t like that I was talking to someone else. I’m not really supposed to.” Aiden said, bringing his hand up to rub anxiously at his neck.

“I’m afraid I have something to do with his suspicion, although I’m curious how this captain of his knows me.” Jasper tilted his head as he spoke, casual curiosity undermined by the intensity of his gaze. “You wouldn’t happen to know who he was talking about, love?”

“You said you wanted information but you didn’t say what I get out of it.” Aiden said, chewing on his lower lip anxiously. 

“That’s up to you, love.” 

“And if I asked for my freedom?”

“That might be difficult. I’ll bring the nobility down eventually. I wish there was more I could do for you now, though.” Jasper said, reaching out toward the hand on Aiden’s neck. Aiden flinched away and he could see the rage flash in Jasper’s face. Aiden could only hope it wasn’t directed at him. “The vampire underground has worked with humans for so long, it’s just the nobility that continue to have such an outdated view of humanity. They forget we were all human, once.”

Aiden stared at the ground, his mind racing. He’d never known there were vampire revolutionaries. He had been kept so isolated from everyone. He’d never have guessed.

“Her name is Lennix, but I don’t know anything about her. I didn’t…I don’t really have any information for you.” Aiden said softly, drawing in on himself and trying to make himself as small as possible. For all this man talked about overthrowing vampire nobility, he was still a vampire. It was best to seem weak.

“Lennix? You’re sure?” 

It was as if a switch had been flipped, Jasper’s shoulders tensing and his left hand twitching. Aiden nodded, trying to keep himself from flinching away from the sudden rage burning in Jasper’s eyes. 

“So that’s where she went…” Jasper ran a hand over his hair and sighed as he considered Aiden, tilting his head to the side slightly. “You have a hopeless air about you. I’m surprised no one else has noticed.”

Aiden frowned at Jasper, noticing the quick change of subject. He made quick eye contact before he went back to staring at the ground. 

“I doubt anyone who works for Nick cares if I seem happy or not.”

“What family are you from? You said they owed a debt to a vampire family.” Jasper moved closer to Aiden, rage simmering beneath the surface.

“Rothmore. I don’t know the specifics of the debt, I didn’t even know about the debt until I was…asked for. I guess it seemed interesting at first. I…didn’t hate the idea. Nick is different from what I imagined, though. He’s ruthless and controlling. I can’t wear what I want, I can’t have hobbies, I’m trapped, waiting on his every whim. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel good.” Aiden couldn’t stop himself once he began talking. He’d never had anyone care to listen to him before. “I’m just for show, for him to use as a status symbol. He brings me to these parties so he can show me off, show off his conquests and the marks. He told me once that vampire saliva has healing powers but he’s never bothered to use it on any of the marks. He likes to tempt his vassals with me. I’ve never made a decision for myself. I can’t stand it…”

“Would you like to make your own decisions?” Jasper asked, moving closer and putting a hand under Aiden’s chin. Aiden flinched a little but still met Jasper’s gaze. “If you send me information I can help you.”

“Nick isn’t…I could barely sneak away tonight and he’s suspicious…I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have come out here….” Aiden chewed on his lower lip, tasting the lipstick as he pulled the dried skin off his lower lip with his teeth. Jasper’s gaze slid to his lips for a moment.

“It’s not all bad. It sounds like you haven’t talked to someone from the outside world in a while. I’m more than happy to provide that for you, love.”

“What do you want? Really?”

“Your freedom isn’t enough?”

“You just met me tonight. You want something else, I can tell.”

“Huh. You really are sharp. You could say this is just….making my presence known. Reminding the nobility that I’m still here.” Jasper smirked at Aiden, dropping his hand to lightly graze Aiden’s neck. “So, what do you want, love? I doubt you came out here just because of my dashing good looks and I do owe you. You’ve helped me find someone very important.”

Aiden continued to chew on his lower lip, acutely aware of how close together they were. He’d never been this close to someone else, someone other than Nick. Jasper’s fangs glinted in the moonlight, reminding Aiden of the vampire’s true nature.

“I just want to be free.” He breathed, his voice barely audible.

“I promise, someday you will be.”

Aiden’s eyebrows drew together and he tasted blood as he chewed his lip. Jasper’s eyes snapped to his mouth, the red in his eyes deepening.

Aiden flushed and looked away. He felt Jasper’s thumb brush along the crack in his lip, the tension between them growing heavier. There was something much different about this than any of the times he had bled in front of Nick. Jasper was gentle, his hand soft on Aiden’s chin as he considered the wound.

“You know, he wasn’t lying. About healing.” He said, meeting Aiden’s eyes and smirking, his fangs glinting in the moonlight again. “I could show you.”

Aiden froze, anxiety rising in his chest again.

“I…” Was this the right thing? Was this what he really wanted? “What…what do you mean?”

Jasper brought his bloody thumb to his mouth and tilted his head to the side again as he licked it clean.

“I can heal that for you.”

“What’s the price?” Everything had a price.

“No price. Consider it payment for your services. I can’t offer you real freedom. Not yet, at least. But this? This is your choice entirely.” Jasper’s eyes traveled back to Aiden’s mouth as he said it.

Aiden hesitated and then nodded.

Jasper crowded him against the wall of the building, allowing Aiden a moment to object if he wanted to. He ran his tongue along Aiden’s lower lip, making a small contented noise, and then kissed him, wrapping an arm lightly around Aiden’s waist. Aiden had never thought a vampire feeding could be intimate, if this could even be called feeding. It made him warm in a way that made him want to explore the feeling. The hand on his back tightened, tangling around the laces of his dress as he tried to pull Jasper closer.

The moment was over too quickly but Jasper didn’t move away. Instead his pushed into Aiden’s hair as his mouth found the pulse in Aiden’s neck, kissing it lightly. Aiden flinched and pulled away a little. “Don’t. They…the marks have to stay there. Nick will know if anything changes.”

Jasper looked up from Aiden’s neck, his eyes blazing. “He doesn’t deserve your fear.”

Aiden let his head fall back against the wall and sighed in frustration. “I don’t fear him because I think he deserves it.” Jasper planted another soft kiss on Aiden’s neck and Aiden could feel the tips of his fangs brush his skin. To his surprise he felt none of the fear he usually felt at the brush of fangs on his neck. “I fear him because he’s hurt me. I fear him because he owns me.”

Jasper hummed as he kissed Aiden’s neck again. “He doesn’t have to own you. You just have to let him think he does.”

“What do you mean?” Aiden asked, leaning into Jasper’s touch. He shuddered as Jasper’s fangs brushed his skin again, a small noise escaping the back of his throat.

He wasn’t afraid of the man in front of him. Despite everything, he wasn’t afraid.

“Let him think he owns you, let him think you’re afraid. Then you have the upper hand. He’ll drop his guard eventually. He has to. If he thinks you fear him, you can take advantage of that.” Jasper looked up at Aiden, “you don’t have to live in fear of him forever.”

Aiden closed his eyes, trying to take comfort in Jasper’s words. Trying to believe that there was a future where he was free. He took a deep breath. He didn’t want to be afraid of Nick any more. He didn’t want Nick to have such power over him. He wanted…

What did he want?

The hand on his waist traveled lower and he flushed in anticipation of teeth in his neck. Jasper’s hold on him remained light, the soft kisses against Aiden’s neck insistent but not demanding.

He wanted to make his own choices.

“Bite me.”

Jasper looked up at him in surprise. “Are you sure?”

Aiden nodded, unable to use his voice. The moment of impulse had passed and he was beginning to think of all the ways this could go wrong.

“I’m not going to if you’re not sure. I need you to say it.”

“I…” Aiden started, clearing his throat and tilting his head to the side, his face turning red. “Can you make sure you don’t leave a mark?”

Jasper nodded, his eyes glued to Aiden’s pulse point. “No one will be able to tell.”

Aiden took a deep breath. “Okay. Yeah. I’m sure. I want you to bite me. I want to know what it’s like, to choose for myself.”

Jasper hesitated a moment longer, as if giving Aiden a last chance to back out. Aiden smiled a little bit at him, hoping he looked confident and not scared. Jasper tangled his hand in Aiden’s hair again and pulled his head to the side gently, lowering his mouth to Aiden’s neck. He ran his tongue lightly along Aiden’s pulse, as if he was choosing a spot with care. Aiden shivered as Jasper pressed his fangs against his neck. He looked up through his eyelashes at Aiden, looking for a last confirmation that this was okay. Aiden bit his lip and nodded, his breath growing heavier. He felt warm, anticipation growing in his stomach. Jasper’s breath was cold against his neck and he relaxed against the wall behind him. Every touch of fang made him shiver, his breath catching as Jasper’s fangs pushed into his neck.

He’d never felt this way when Nick bit him. There was none of the pain he was used to. He felt euphoria. He moaned softly as he felt Jasper swallow, ice spreading through his veins in sharp contrast to the warmth radiating from the pit of his stomach. The fangs left his neck and Jasper pushed him harder against the wall, long fingers digging into his back as he fed. Aiden felt his face flush at the intimacy of the moment. Euphoria flooded his body with each pull on his blood. It was completely unlike anything he’d ever felt. He was lost in this moment, Jasper’s touch was all that mattered. He allowed himself to surrender completely, allowed himself to trust this man he had truly only just met, just for a moment where he could be his own person.

In a dark alleyway, Aiden felt his first real moment of freedom.

Jasper ran his tongue along the puncture marks, cleaning them as they continued to bleed slowly. Even as the hand in his hair tightened, the way that Jasper touched Aiden remained slow and gentle. Jasper made a small noise of satisfaction against Aiden’s neck before he pulled away, his eyes traveling over Aiden’s face.

Aiden brought a hand to where Jasper had bitten him, feeling the faint impression of quickly healing wounds. Jasper’s mouth was stained in his blood and it was strange how confident that made Aiden feel. Aiden grinned at Jasper, his brain slowly coming back to him.  

“Thanks.”

“I should be thanking you, love.” Jasper said with a satisfied smile.

Aiden felt a tingle up his spine as he blushed. He let his forehead fall onto Jasper’s shoulder and sighed. “I suspect you won’t be welcome at any of these events anymore.” He said softly, all his worries and anxiety slowly coming back to him. He’d been out here for so long… “I need to get back inside…”

Jasper didn’t move immediately, for which Aiden was glad. He wasn’t sure he would be able to stand on his own yet.

“I can leave a number with you, call if you need help.”

“I…okay.” Aiden took a deep breath and lifted his head from Jasper’s shoulder. Jasper pulled a business card out of his pocket and turned it over, scribbling a phone number on the back with a pen he had also retrieved from his pockets. He pressed the card into Aiden’s hand and smirked.

“Call for any reason, really. I’d love to do this again.” He said, teasing.

“Do you do this often?” Aiden asked with a snort.

“Hm, it’s never quite this romantic.”

Aiden laughed and pushed Jasper away from him lightly. “I have to go back in.”

Jasper sulked a little as Aiden pushed him away and reached down to take his hand. He bowed over Aiden’s hand and kissed it, looking up to make eye contact as he did so. “I’ll see you around, love.”

Aiden blushed and slipped back into the building, hoping his absence hadn’t been noticed.

#m/m romance #trans character #ocs #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #vampire au #sunshine and vengeance #vampires #modern day #vaiden #blood drinking

[roffmychest]

(cw fetish mention, long post)

when i was in the 4th grade i got REALLY into pokemon and conciquently i found.... pokemon transformations..... through deviantart, being VERY young and getting bullied alot i just imagined myself turning into a pokemon like those comics and wishing i could just turn into one and live my life alone.. and i got VERY fixated on transformation artwork NOT KNOWING IT WAS FETISH ART i drew alot of pokemon transformations during the after-school homework program and i assigned my classmates pokemon and id imagine them turning into them while were lost in the mountains and i magically didnt get bullied anymore or something i even requested like 5 different artworks, i used to speak to someone on discord who would have written for free the above story i had in mind and i had to block them out of nowhere once because they were making me uncomfortable, now again i was 10-11

i tired to get into it again, 2020 (before my bday, i was 12 at the time) i had an account on twitter (it might be still up), at this point i still did not know it was werid as hell and just thought the idea of shapeshifting is super cool! but just ended up abandoning it cuz i got into other stuff anyway

2021.. i was 14 and i was going through the WORST sad state of my life (not calling it depression or anything, just know i wanted to end my own life very badly) i had a now deactivated anon vent account on twt that id throw whatever and i tried to get into transformation again, at this point i FINALLY learnt that its seen as a fetish and i feel like ive been lied to the whole time even though i definatly have not been, i made the mistake of trying to show it to my old priv account with followers (in the end didnt use it) because i just, wanted to become a different character i liked and dissapear and to live their life and not deal with whatever i was dealing with, im so mad at myself, i just like shapeshifting and i wanted to , as i said, dissapear so to learn the thing that brought me comfort when i was 10 was ...fucking werid devistated me, before that i even wrote a story with a person my age (WITH THEIR PERMISSION, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE HAND) turning into our fave characters in a mobile game that we were fixating one

im now 16 and i have not gone back to thinking about it, i made a oc during my time as a 14 year old that can shapeshift into a dog and im terrified that people will associate it with that fetish, though its a oc in a kids game so probably not but the thought still scares me, i NEVER saw it sex appearing in any way, its NOT a fetish to me, but i never knew and it made me feel terrible

i hate myself for going down this path and beliving it was ok for so long, i hate myself, i hate the fact i tried to revive it, i hate the fact no one realised how werid it was i hate the fact i spoke to someone who made me uncomfortable and wrote free fanfictions for me i hate everything i dont care if i was at my lowest points of my life i shouldnt have looked at that at that age even if i had unrestricted internet beforehand, i do not blame myself for not knowing it was fetish art the first time and having to lie about my age because of deviatarts policy, but fuck deviantart and fuck myself for not realising it sooner and tried to get into it again and again

the only thing i dont hate is that it made me draw more, i wish i could just go back and throw myself warrior cats or something instead to grow up w something different, im sorry to the people on my old priv account if they my reblogs im sorry im so fucking sorry even if theyve forgotten by now i feel sick

.

#r/offmychest

[egg-emperor]

So, some of the people that judged you badly actually posted some form of similar Eggman content. Sounds like they only want to have the right about it I don't know how to explain this. Like it"s ok for them because they may see theirself as righteous or morally good I don't know so if it's from them it's ok no worries it's all love and peace but if it's from you or someone else it's not because you and others wrote something they don't like and that makes you the 'bad' guys and since they are the good ones they have to stop you regardless of the methods used because hey, they are the good ones they can't be wrong even if they truly did fcked up stuff to you right? Seriously, what the hell?

That sh"t is scary and you're actually right for calling out their behaviour, especially for all the things they did to you and spreading false things so others sided with them, making things worse than what they already were.

Who started that I don't know but no wonder they are full bullies and more.

Yeah it's just hypocrisy. Because while failing to tag something correctly is an issue like I have but always make sure to fix, some act like all my darker creations are wrong for me to make at all, despite having themes just as dark in their works.

I'll respect privacy but a few years ago there was an AU focused Sonic imprisoned in Forces and the tortuous abuse from Eggman. I was interested as someone who explores the concept too. But people tried to call this out and accuse the creators of all kinds of horrible things, just like what happened to me.

One main contributor is with the group that take issue with me and blocked me because of my take on Eggdad and possibly my staregg/eggline concept too. The other person I mentioned who is also involved with them, also blocked me after I interacted with their post where Metal bloodied up Sonic, which is ironic.

And another person in the circle drew "problematic content" years ago that I won't detail but some tried to bring it back and make accusations too. Like me, they even said they didn't like when people caused drama behind their back but proceeded to do the same as they contributed to the spread of the worst accusations I've gotten.

In both times people in that circle were called out, I defended their right to create/how it doesn't represent them as a person. They're not obligated to defend me but all I wanna know is if they can depict an actual 15 year old being abused or attacked with gore, why am I a bad guy for writing ageless AI Sage being manipulated by Eggman and a darker staregg/eggline concept?

The more I reflect on how hypocritical it is, the better I feel. Because I feel like some may only be taking issue with what I create as a reason to hate on me for other things about me that they don't like, or they're just against me because others say they should be and they want to avoid drama like before happening to them again.

A lot of them also seem to express moral righteousness too, so it's confusing and a bit concerning that they're okay with some things but not with others, and punish the others even if what they're okay with can be on the same level as or even worse. I just wish they hadn't fallen into this purity and call out culture and reflect on how we've actually been in the same boat.

And it's very sad for me not just for the horrible things I've been accused of but also because of how I looked up to these creators. Now I can't look at certain art on my blog I reblogged or the IDW cover without sadness and anxiety remembering what they did that hurt me.

But at least now I know to just stay in my little corner doing my own thing because these fandom cliques aren't worth the time when stuff like this happens lol

#asks #rant

[tavarillasgalen]

i really don't know why i'm so insecure and hate myself so much, but one thing i saw people say you should do that can help with that is to list out your accomplishments, and i did that and understood why people have gotten mad at me when i said i'm lame and a loser and not good at anything, because if someone else told me they'd done the things i'd done and then tried to tell me they weren't good at anything, i would also want to smack them.

i've been promoted in each job i've had - i don't think of myself as a leader or skilled at all, but i wouldn't keep ending up in leadership positions if i wasn't.

i got an acting/modeling agent. i've only played lead roles. neither of those things would happen if i wasn't good at acting.

i got my art into a gallery and whenever people see my work they either ask if they can buy it or if they can commission me. neither of which would happen if i didn't have at least some artistic capability.

i have abs. i can run 5 miles nonstop. i can plank for 3 minutes. i can lift more than most of the men at my gym when it comes to calf raises. i have been hired to do workout videos for doctors. none of that would be the case if i wasn't at least somewhat fit.

people constantly compliment my outfits and do double takes and ask for fashion/makeup/hair advice, so i must be at least somewhat decent at putting myself together.

whenever i bake anything, it's often gone before i even get the chance to try it, unless i snag a bit before i let anyone else know i made something. that wouldn't happen if i wasn't at least a half-way decent baker.

people constantly tell me how sweet i am, so i mustn't be a monster, like i feel like i am.

everyone who has read my writing has asked for more, gotten very attached to my characters, and even cried or drew me fanart. that wouldn't happen if i wasn't at least somewhat good at making characters and a story.

in work, they constantly give me the notoriously picky clients because when i write for them, they have no notes. that must mean i'm doing something right, right?

when i try something on in stores, other people go find the exact same thing because they want to see if "it will look as good on me". so i must be at least somewhat attractive.

when i went to a mounted archery clinic, they asked if i wanted to join their team because "you're a natural!" which wouldn't happen if i wasn't at least somewhat good at it.

in both horseback riding and ballet, instructors have told others to watch me to "see how it's done", which wouldn't happen if i wasn't at least somewhat good at those things.

whenever i mention that i feel like i'm not doing a good job at something, people stare at me like i'm crazy, so i must be doing at least a passable job.

whenever i talk to people, they tell me how cool they think i am, which means they're either lying to my face or i'm not as boring as i think, because i think i'm the most boring person alive.

my boss wouldn't tell me "you're such a people person" if i didn't have at least something in the way of social skills.

... so why do i feel like i'm horrible at everything and like i have no chance at anything?? why do i hate myself so much? why am i so insecure? it's so exhausting, but i just can't stop, but i want it to stop so badly. it makes me cry. i wish i knew how to make it stop.

#personal

[girlyliondragon]

.

#Been looking through my private blog posts out of my boredom and... Boi.. #I was a very vindictive person 2-3 years ago. #Granted I still kinda am #but I don’t really have many enemies outside my abuser that I made this account to escape from (Since I was being stalked for over a year) #so it probably never went away but more that I managed to finally bury it down #do I wish they got their comeuppance? Well. yeah. They hurt multiple people and are pretty damn vindictive themselves #but alas #I'm just glad I don't have to be paranoid about posting #wish I could wipe those years out of my brain tho #of all the things my trauma keeps me remembering it's that #and yet they got away with everything #not surprised given how this shit goes on the web tbh #you get mad about being railroaded in a discord rp and someone takes that as a personal attack and deems you a danger :/ #and tries to rewrite the narrative to be more than just someone being upset about how a stupid badly-handled rp went #not to mention gaslighting me and the affirmed yearlong stalking that ruined my mental health #and I'm not even sure anymore but I'm pretty sure they drew hate art of them murdering my old OC too >.> #but I don't know about that. it might just be that paranoia talking #anyways random spurging I decided to do at 6AM in the morning #just goes to show how this shit stayed stuck in my mind and wish it wasn't tbh... #Em Speaks #Personal Things #will delete later

[sunshineram]

#my art #my ocs #did someone say persona time #yeah my persona has been a blacknosed sheep for a while now i just didnt know how to draw them before now lol #i drew schlatt and was like... oh thats how lol #my sister put her hat on me and ive figured out that i really like hats so... hat #and i need glasses badly :D #also this one was done with fire alpaca because clip studio hates me now for some reason lol #i got the free trial and was fine for a while but now i need a license for everything now?? idk ill just keep using firealpaca #it doesnt have as many fun brushes but i dont have the money to buy clip studio lol #dont mention the fact that the horns are uneven i know

[arthurrnorgan]

why did i get a project to design posters for an event but i have to use the ugliest illustrations, who decided these were okay and now my work is gonna look ugly

#like not to hate on someone else's art #but i know the girl that drew them and she sucks as a person and artist #and the colors are literally all so ugly and everything was hand drawn and extracted really badly #plus it's just circles with the drawings inside and i have no idea how to incorporate it into an interesting design for a poster #my first designs were so cute too #😭😭😭

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Hi! Could I get HC from the guys? 👀 How they would always react to catching the reader seeing them "badly", in addition to the fact that he usually avoids them, but with his brothers it is incredible and they feel bad because they think they do not like him.  But she actually likes them and she looks at them like that because she "studies" them to draw them and she is too clumsy and shy to talk to them, that's why she ends up avoiding them. Until finally he catches her drawing them with lots of hearts or maybe they'll find her notebook with lots of portraits of them.

It's kind of funny because when I study people to draw them, they think that I look at them with hatred xd maybe I should increase my glasses prescription

God, glasses are such a pain in the ass but I have to wear them. If I don't anyone within my near vicinity doesn't have a face. But why they gotta get dirty so easily???? Makes me wanna explode or something

TMNT Headcanons

The boys w/ a quiet reader who is fine with his brothers but acts cold around him and stares a lot

Michaelangelo

mikey couldn't describe his disappointment upon realizing that you didn't want to be friends with him

well, you never actually said that to him

but he was pretty sure it was the case

you'd never made an effort to be friends with him

stared at him an awful lot though, but there was always something off about your gaze when you looked at him

like you were sizing him up, scrutinizing him, like he was an opponent

it kinda worried him

to add to that, you didn't even attempt to look embarrassed when he caught you staring

you'd just stare harder

on your end it was quite the opposite

you always found the brothers fascinating and you LOVED studying their anatomy, you'd confessed this to Donnie early on and he happily indulged in your questions

and you loved how easily you got along with the boys

well, except for Mikey

but it wasn't for a lack of trying

whenever the orange sporting turtle came around your normally flamboyant personality crept back into its little corner and hid

any words of excitement that had previously been with you died in your throat

for the longest time you didn't understand it

and you hated not understanding things, so you turned to your only outlet

that's how you ended up with an entire sketchbook full of the youngest brother in vastly different styles and poses

you had a separate book for the others, none of them as detailed as this

and when you stared to analyze you'd fallen into a habit of not looking away when caught

by your logic, if you stared back hard enough he'd look away first or just assume you'd zoned out

he didn't

and on one hectic day you'd left your sketchbook open on the kitchen table in your rush to get to work

you hadn't even noticed the slip up until Leo texted you to let you know during your shift

instant panic

in truth, Mikey was the one who discovered the book upon waking up from his nap and he'd spent the next three hours analyzing every drawing

when you finally dropped in after work to grab your book the turtle was waiting for you with it in hand

he'd asked you if you hated him

you told him no and accepted your sketchbook from him

he was relieved and screaming excitedly, just in his head

"Do you maybe wanna hang out sometime?"

You sighed in relief and nodded

"If you're cool with it- you don't think I'm weird do you?"

"I mean- you are talking to a turtle..."

you lightly shoved his chest and smiled, although it faded within a second

"Oh hush, 10 o'clock tomorrow? I'll bring snacks."

he was so stunned he could only shoot you finger guns in approval

Donatello

Donnie genuinely couldn't understand your unease around him

he'd followed all the proper expectations of holding a conversation

he was polite and engaging

so why wouldn't you talk to him?

this boy has read so many social blogs to try and figure out what he was doing wrong and he just couldn't put his finger on it

you were fine with the rest of his brothers, you'd stay up for hours laughing and gaming with them

you'd even sat still long enough to listen to Leo explain some old Japanese myth that he'd read about in a book

but with him it was always a quick, cordial greetings and farewells with bland small talk in between

Donnie had picked up pretty quickly that you weren't interested in any sort of interaction with him

and he convinced himself that that was okay

but that didn't explain the staring

he'd caught you in the act several times, eyes narrowed and locked on him

especially when you were alone with him in a room or just in the lair

the poor turtle just couldn't put his finger on it

then he caught you drawing, he noticed early on that you always carried a small sketchbook on your person but he didn't think much of it

and it wasn't so much that he caught you drawing, in fact, he wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't snapped at him while he was trying to do a sudoku puzzle

"Damn it Donnie! Stop moving! If I fuck this arm up one more time I'm gonna decompose!"

he'd quickly moved back into the position he was in prior

"sorry?"

but you'd gone silent again, occasionally glancing up from your work and running your eyes along his frame before looking down again

nearly twenty minutes later Donnie had finished the puzzle and it seemed as though you had finished your drawing

"Uh- can I ask what are you-"

"I'm drawing you but you kept moving your arm and making me mess up. You always do that when I draw you so every damn picture I have of you stays a sketch because you always come out looking like a fucking octopus."

He just stared

"Sorry, I uh- I didn't mean to explode on you like that. I'm just- I'm really bad at talking to you okay? It's so easy with everyone else but you've just gotta be so damn smart all the time and I worry that you'll think I'm boring so I just... don't talk to you?"

Donnie is stunned™

You refuse to show him the drawing until you can complete the line art and color it

But at least he knows that you don't hate him

Leonardo

To be completely honest Leo didn't mind that you were distant from him

You created an aura of calm when you were around and you always managed to distract his brothers while you were present

And he enjoyed the alone time

But after a few months that calm acceptance turned into jealousy

Not that he would ever admit it

He would just push it off and ignore it, that usually seemed to work

So why wasn't it?

And your obvious staring problem didn't help at all

Leo didn't spend much time considering his appearance but something about your gaze made him self conscious

And he hated that with a passion

Why was it that you could hold entire debates with his siblings? Even his dad for gods sake. You'd have hour long conversations on almost everything but whenever he tried to say hello you'd make up some lame ass excuse and scamper away

He just wanted an explanation

It appeared that the answer resided in your sketchbook

You'd left it open on the couch when Raph had called you away to spar with him

Leo very delicately flipped through the pages, careful not to disturb some of the polaroid pictures of his brothers

He was admittedly surprised to find pictures of himself among the pages

One of him in a handstand, another of him meditating, there was even one of him mid sneeze that you'd recreated with pencil and paper

The image of his eyes was the most startling, but the book held no polaroid of his eyes

You drew them from memory

And he was shocked when you returned to the room and didn't immediately panic

But that might have been because he didn't try to withhold your book from you

"It took me three months to color them, your eyes. I could never get the shade of blue just right."

"I'm gonna be honest with you y/n, I really thought you didn't like me."

You had the nerve to roll your eyes and follow it with a laugh

"I don't. I mean- I do but no, you just remind me a lot of myself and I haven't exactly figured out why yet. I thought that maybe if I drew you it'd be easier to figure you out..."

"Well did it help?"

You grinned

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

Raphael

If there was one thing Raph hated it was not understanding something that was right in front of him

which is ironic, as a much younger version of himself probably couldn't care less

and a part of him wishes he didn't care about it so much

he wishes that your blatant avoidance of him didn't upset him

but shit, it got under his skin better than any needle ever could

was it too much to ask for you to just tell him what he said or did wrong?

was he asking too much of you?

but on the same scale you'd never shown obvious dislike towards him, you were never rude and you sure as hell didn't talk shit about him to his brothers

you got along great with them

in fact it was getting more difficult to remember a time before you became a part of his family

he'd become so used to your presence that it no longer put him off when he found you hanging around the lair

but in another sense he was certain that you hadn't spoken more than three sentences to him in your time knowing him or his family

so what was the reason

several months in he finally caught onto the staring, your narrow, glassy gaze locked onto his body and refusing to look away

he stared right back at you

this annoyed you for several reasons

because within five seconds your very peaceful drawing session had turned into a staring contest and your eyes were getting VERY dry

then you exhaled in a half-sigh and looked back down at your paper

"Huh, I guess your head is more of an oblong shape..."

he took offense to this

"What tha' hell is that supposed t'mean?"

now your eyes held more of an amused silent judgement, you begrudgingly held up your sketchbook

"I'm drawing you, you fucking walnut."

"Oh..."

now you rolled you eyes and tossed the book to him, he nearly dropped it and fumbled with the pages

your annoyance was quickly growing

"Careful with that."

He flipped through the pages at a snails pace, assumingly because he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing

you had some real talent

when he looked back up at you he was wearing that crooked smile

"and here I was thinkin' that my eyes were just green."

Hope I was able to get this down pretty well! I really enjoyed writing this one! Thanks for the patience!

-Mars 🌠

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt headcanons #tmnt x reader #writing blog #writing requests #askbox #ask response #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo

[sigynpenniman]

Rating DS9 Comics by How Well They Draw Julian Bashir

TNG/DS9 Divided We Fall #2 (Wildstorm Comics)

This is fine, I guess. It’s not good, but I’m not personally offended by it. I appreciate the shiny anime eyes, but that is not Julian’s skintone (which will be a common theme.) 4/10 do better

The Q Conflict #4 (IDW)

The point of this series is that crews are pulled out of their own time - generally about the same time we knew them - and pulled into a sort of nether dimension. So why is Julian a full commander here. I’m all for promoting the boy but the crews in this series are meant to be from about the same time we knew them - note the teal shoulders. The face is...I’ve seen worse. More anime eyes and another bad case of whitewashing. +1 for being more pleasant art but -2 for whitewashing and bad rank research. 4/10.

Star Trek DS9 #3 (Marvel/Paramount)

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS. +1 I guess for him not being white but there is nothing acceptable about that face. 2/10.

Star Trek DS9 #27 (Malibu)

Bonus points for actually making him cute but minus a couple again for making him cute like a 1940s movie star and not like, well, Sid. I don’t like this but it doesn’t horrify my soul. 5/10 I guess.

Star Trek DS9: Fool’s Gold #2 (IDW)

You know what? I don’t hate this. There’s a certain aesthetic value that does seem to be present. Skin tone is okay. Let’s not talk about what they’ve done to Sisko, though. 6/10.

Star Trek: Waypoint #3 (IDW)

IT’S CUTE! It’s not an exact likeness, but it’s cartoony in a pleasing and cute way instead of being awful. +many points for getting the nose and skintone right. 9/10.

Star Trek DS9 #6 (Malibu)

WHO AND WHAT IS THIS UGLY WHITE MAN. 0/10. I AM ANGRY.

Star Trek DS9 Too Long a Sacrifice #1 (IDW)

The top panel is so much worse than the bottom one it’s hard to judge this fairly. This art almost feels like a weird filter over a screenshot. I kind of hate it, even though it’s not the most inaccurate. 3/10 because I hate it for no good reason.

Star Trek Special: Flesh and Stone (IDW)

This is another one that feels like it was traced, maybe? But traced badly. There’s features of his face that really make me feel like they traced this but just did a poor job of it. It does actually sort of look like Sid, though. 6/10.

Star Trek DS9 #18c/ Maquis: Soldier of Peace

Hey what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. I can’t say anything about the face because I’m looking at those pecs. What is this nonsense. 1/10 never draw Julian again please whoever drew this.

Star Trek: The Q Gambit

THE FACE! THE NOSE! THE GENTLE SPARKLE IN THE EYES! I think these are traced too but they’re so so pretty I don’t care. This is a Julian I want to kiss on the cheek. Look at that smile in the top panel! THAT’S MY BOY. 1000000/10.

Star Trek DS9: N-Vector #1 (Wildstorm)

(HORRIFIED SCREAMING)

-214,597,479/10

#Star Trek Comics #deep space nine #Julian Bashir #ds9 comics #star trek

[lilhawkeye3]

Tea Time With Hawk ☕️🦅

The Bad Batch was... badly designed

If you like the Bad Batch & aren’t open to reading a critical look into their design, don’t read this.

So I’ve already written about The Clone Wars and the issues with Tup and Rex’s character designs. For me, these aren’t reasons enough for me to dislike their characters as a whole (although I refuse to draw Tup’s tattoo when I do draw him).

With the Bad Batch though... I really don’t like them. I don’t want to draw them. Their designs make me uncomfortable, and for two reasons other than just the designs themselves:

1. The Bad Batch was designed for the newest and latest season of TCW, meaning those involved in the creation and in the direction of the Star Wars Umiverse in general are aware of issues brought up in the last decade about POC representation and racism in Star Wars (I say this because it’s been widely talked about, especially after the sequel movies premiered).

2. These characters were introduced specifically as a backdoor pilot for their own series. If the reception to them hadn’t been as good, the Bad Batch series probably wouldn’t have been greenlighted (this is something done in Hollywood in general, not a specific Disney thing). The problem isn’t that they were created in mind to have a series about them, but that these clones have the most whitewashed appearance and were chosen to be the focus of a new series.

So, on to a closer look at exactly what I find issue with these characters.

Crosshair: why the fuck does the sharpshooter look like a white man (this is nothing against white men, but he is supposed to be the CLONE of a BROWN MAN). EVERYTHING about him is changed so drastically that it doesn’t even look like they used the base model of a clone for him.

For comparison:

Top photo is Crosshair. Bottom three are Fives, Jester, and Echo (after the Citadel, which I’ll get to).

Crosshair’s jaw structure is angular and his cheekbones more vertical and prominent. His hairline is more rigid, his hair is white, and with the painting details you can see it is mean to be straight. His nose is so much narrower it’s as if he had a nose job done. Even his lip shape is smaller, which is ridiculous seeing as the clones already have such thin lips. His eyebrows are thinner and less bold. All these are pbviously changed even when comparing to Echo, who is meant to be thin in malnourished in that picture.

Crosshair’s mutation goes further than being a great sharpshooter. They literally made him into a white man.

And then I wonder why he seems to be the most popular of the Bad Batch members in the fandom... sigh.

Tech: again, it looks as if they used a whole different base structure than the normal clones. So here we have his “desirable mutation” meaning he’s incredibly smart. He is shorter and less built than the other clones, his hair is lightened, his nose narrower, his jaw narrower and less square... the changes aren’t as drastic as with Crosshair, but he’s still changed to fit more Eurocentric features. Tech is also much shorter than all the other clones? Idk personally I found that strange and unnecessary cause it not only adds to “nerds are smaller” stereotypes, but more troubling, it subtly pushes the notion that the larger brown men are not as smart as the smaller whitewashed man.

Wrecker: I can’t even begin to describe how animalistic they make him seem in comparison to the previous two. While Crosshair and Tech’s mutations are more mental and refined and thus they are given Eurocentric features... Wrecker’s mutation focuses on brute strength and yet he retains the more typical clone features of the show. Yeah idk just look at the picture and the way he acts in the show. He’s better than the first two but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hunter: okay enhancing his senses is... fine. Honestly he’s the least problematic in my opinion. But like... they were not subtle in trying to make him like Rambo. His hair, his facial features, even the bandana. He’s not as whitewashed as Crosshair or Tech, but he is obviously modeled after Sylvester Stalone, who y’know is a white guy.

And then they have Echo elevated to the Bad Batch. @thatfunkyopossum made an art that pointed it out best, but there isn’t really an excuse for how much paler they made his skin. Yes brown skinned people can and do get darker or lighter based on seasons but like... we don’t just lose all our melanin and become completely white if we never get sunlight. I hope they give him some color back for this sequel 😅 [Edit 4/2021: LMAO HE GOT WORSE SOMEHOW]

So yeah. The Bad Batch makes me extremely uncomfortable as a whole, and you won’t see me creating stuff for them (I drew Hunter once for a friend but that’s the extent I’ll get involved with them). It’s fine if you do like them, like I’m not going to hate you or anything, but I did want to write this up because enough people were interested.

I am of course welcome to any discussion about it (both in agreement or disagreement) :) but if you start attacking anyone in reblogs I will not hesitate to block you. *Please check the notes if you want to see the discussion!*

#the bad batch #the clone wars #star wars #tw racism #lowkey racism #whitewashing #yeah idk they make me uncomfortable #tea time with hawk #thank you for coming to my ted talk