#i hate being so unstable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

girlyteengirl16 · 3 months

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idk what i did to deserve the life i have now

#life is so unfair #i hate living like this #i hate my family #i’m so tired of being treated like this #i’m so sleepy #honk shoo mimimimi #god what the fuck #god why am i being punished #idk what i did wrong #mentally unstable #trauma #i wanna kms #tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts

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unknowinglydeceasedlol · 2 months

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it’s always “how do you think they’ll feel when something happens to you?” but never “how do you feel about having to be pushed to this point?”

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endlessmidnights · 4 months

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Why do I keep purposely triggering myself

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captain----nemo----returns · 5 months

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Chuuya and typical mafia work thoughts [pt1 or smth]

I've had this thought for a while, but Chuuya actually cares about new Mafia folk, and a lot, -- the so-called "green", -- even if he avoids them at most costs. sort of afraid of seeing familiar faces or anyone who's close in character to his old friends, the old well-known circle of people is safer. he knows what it takes to join PM, and what it takes to actually stay here, and that few people can manage that

usually Tachi or maybe Higuchi are in charge of the shooting range, but when Chuuya is, this is quite an experience. Chuuya is a good teach, even when he's being harsh. in this sense, he is the epitome of "gently, but firmly"; more of "firmly" than "gently" ofc, but nonetheless

he knows what it takes to survive here, and he can pick the bad apples out: the ones who won't make value for the Mafia or will have more of a challenge doing so. some might agree with his opinion on people, some might not, and other Executives are usually better at this than he is, but, he'll do, yeah

he's also the one who trusts people with a chance when they screw up -- if it's not too bad, of course. he believes people can outgrow themselves, even if rarely and apart from a few exceptions, but I'm unsure if he's ever told Dazai that

he would refuse personal care over someone if it was offered to him, perhaps realizing how f_cked up he is himself; entrusting him with another living being would be a literal death threat to whoever that is. he needs to sort himself out first, even if all he does is work to survive and survive to work (add workaholic to his troubles list). he would copy kouyou's sort-of-parenting style to the best of his ability, I think, if he had to care after someone. he's a good older brother, after all, and he's really nice with kids. though he might too get attached too soon. he's a team player, but solitude grew on him

he drowns in fighting and paperwork, and if that's out of reach he compensates that by harsh training, be it fencing, fist fighting, running or any other activity. do I think he has a training room in his home from now on? yes, I do. can't stop me. a fencing mannequin (Dazai's picture is on its face sometimes as well as the punching bag, but that's seldom, and that pic must be really old :( ), a punching bag, a treadmill. why bother going around when everything can be done from the calm and the safety of one's own home? Kouyou might come check his fencing skills from time to time, be it spectating his training, coaching or sparring; like I said, she's really nice towards him

#nakahara chuuya #chuuya headcanons #chuuya bsd #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd headcanons #headcanons #he wrote dazai's papers back when dazai was in pm i swear #TACHIHARA BEING A HUNTING DOG DOES N O T EXIST TO ME #I'M SO DONE #SNS i hate hunting dogs.#i think kouyou softened him after the streets a lot #anyways i ignore all the latest plotlines #bc i'm mentally unstable and don't want to feel even worse cause of this crap #asagiri why

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andromedasummer · 7 months

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i ended up having a like. 30 minute conversation with some of those "freedom convoy" people. was at the bus stop. they were wearing trump hats. i ended up roped into the conversation because i was so taken aback at seeing one in public i was just. staring at it. ive never felt more depressed about someone elses life and beliefs than when i talked to them.

#they fucking. tokd me about the litterboxes in schools for kids identifying as cats and i had to #break it to them that that wasnt true and explained that. also explained. what its like yo be autistic. how i find it joyful #and also discussed how they believe trump has been spoken to by god and chosen to lead and how they arent christians or catholics like they #used to be but instead talk directly to him and have him inside them #and also apparently how 15 minute cities in china are used to keep people imprisoned where they are #and we arent a democracy anymore. which was so funny considering. they are participating for a party #running in the election #i gave them my perspective on being transgender and gay and watched them have like. 3 or 4 ''are we the baddies'' moments #explained what puberty blockers actually do. that surgery is paid out of peoples own pockets. that we literally only have #one doctor who can perform these surgeries and hes abt to retire #and at the end of the convo they were like ''youre so pleasant. youre really smart young lady'' and i was like ''ty? i just. read a lot'#god i hope they learned. something. or i changed some opinion. they seemed to have a more positive view of autistic people at least #i just like. fuck dude. these fuckin right wing grifters are ruining these peoples lives.#the lady has been unemployeed since covid cos she got sucked into this antivax stuff and now theyre both financially unstable #perfect targets for tamaki and the freedoms people who were known for squeezing money out of people through bogus religious stuff #those two have been twisted into just. hateful and scared and are saying the most. insane shit and they dont even realize it.#and the worst part of it was the amount of young people there. so many people my age just deluded into this nonsense.#and kids JESUS CHRIST so many kids holding signs about ''protecting the kiwi way of life'' like bro every single thing #you are getting upset about an imported culture war. you arent threatened by this shit.#youve latched onto american culture war stuff because youre insecure in your whiteness and existence in a colonial country #its so fucking evil.

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mmmmbreadsoup · 1 year

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Backstory

Words - 1.2k

2nd POV

gn!reader

Warnings: Light murder, hints of abandonment, Michael Myers

It was a bleary night that you were having. Soaking sneakers and hunger settled in your stomach, as you struggled to get up. You couldn’t give up now though. Proving your worth was a crucial step to gaining his favor. If you could gain his favor, then you could stay by his side. Unfortunately, that useless Corey Cunningham betrayed him and made everything more difficult. It wasn’t that impressive; what he did. You didn’t know what Myers saw in that pathetic idiot. No use worrying over it now. You swore to him that you’d prove yourself useful.

You woke up in some random bed. It was pretty weird, and pretty anxiety inducing. You thought that someone had kidnapped you, but Myers was the only one there. Then if Myers was there, that means he probably took you here to rest. Looking around, you saw a dusty table with what seems to be a broken alarm clock. Seems like nobody had tended to the house in a while. There was light coming from the window meaning it was daytime. No wonder Michael wasn’t here. Despite people not seeing him until Halloween, he was with you most nights. Though sadly, he doesn’t show during days, unless it’s important. You swung your feet off the bed, landing on the cold hard ground. Hearing the boards creak made you nervous. With how old the house is, it’s bound to have a few boards loose enough to fall through. After searching the house with precaution, it was pretty clear no one had lived here for a while. A few people passed by the house a few times throughout the day. Considering you didn’t want to go back to the house you used to live in, you decided to crash in this house for a bit. It wasn’t a bad place to stay all considering that apparently food had been getting replaced. There was a whole loaf of bread almost a month before the expiration date. Myers probably had come here often when he had nowhere to go. Then you realized, there was only ever one house in the town that had been abandoned like this. And also inhabited by Myers like this. The Myers residence. It filled you with joy to know that he had trusted you enough to bring you to his house. The very house he hated to have other people in. So overjoying, the whole experience. This was basically him showing how much he trusted you. The rest of the day was just a normal, boring, lounging around day. Except for that time, you saw a huge rat eating at some wood in the corner.

Snapping out of it, you found yourself at the end of the street. No time for reminiscing anymore though. It’s soon to be night, and with night comes Myers, obviously. He came from the bushes with the same mask and knife as always. Gave you a quick head pat before walking towards the first victim’s house. You wore a smile, that would be sure to stay as long as you're with him, as you skipped down the sidewalk next to him. Living as his apprentice/child would be a nice life. Well, that’s what you could say, other people, not so much.

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dredshirtroberts · 2 months

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i have never been more angry about climate change getting to the point that it has than i am right now. i don't remember the last time i moved around without having to very carefully consider how much pain i am in and how much effort it will take me to move from bed to wherever i need to be.

the weather is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT every four to five days or so (40degreeF temp fluxes anyone?) and my body is predicting the changes about four days in advance, getting worse as the front moves in. I have No Fucking Respite from this and I am... very slowly losing my mind about it. it's... it's been at least a few weeks now that it's been back and forth rapidly and i can't fucking MOVE.

I can't sleep, laying down hurts too much. sitting hurts. standing hurts *and* wears me out almost instantly. the otc meds aren't really doing anything anymore and all the weed does is make it so it's not the forefront of my mind (and also makes it so i don't really feel like moving around a whole bunch anyway). i can't think. i can't focus.

and i know i'm not the only one in the household feeling poorly because of the weather - we're a barometric body household, we've got everything: migraines, old injuries, other stuff. and it sucks. it all just sucks a lot and i want the weather to stabilize and because of the fucking melting ice the jetstream is all wonky and that's what's causing the back and forth ESPECIALLY this far up north, and it's absolutely WRECKING my shit.

so if we could get to work on maybe not making climate change worse and even potentially putting some of that ice back on the north pole so that the transition seasons are maybe less fraught with pain, i would be greatly appreciative.

#obviously also because of all the other reasons climate change is bad we should fix it #like i've been on this train a while but my god learning that the weather being unstable as fuck like this is because of it?#FURY. ANGER. RAGE.#that i can't do fuck all about because i'm stuck in my bed because moving more than 20ft in one direction is Too Much and nothing is Comfy #i'm also approximately a week out from my period i've got my echo tomorrow #AND i'm failing miserably at deliberately Ignoring my mother's birthday #we're moving in like a month and i have so much to do and i can't fuckign MOVE enough to do anyof it #we'll just say i'm not doing *awesome* right now #and none of the answers we're currently looking at are ''fixable'' just... managed #and ugh. the prospect of that is just... very daunting sometimes #especially when i already feel like shit #i want to *write* i want to *draw* i want to *create*#and all i can do is play minecraft and phone games because i literally do not have the brain capacity to do anything else #i hate this

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girlyteengirl16 · 4 months

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when you go out of your way to do everything for them even if it inconveniences you but they won’t do the same

#i’m so tired of being treated like this #i just want someone to love me #i hate you guys for what you did #trauma #i wanna kms #energy #mentally unstable #tw depressing stuff #i want to be okay #i want to cry

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girlblocker · 9 months

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my friend and i are going to be roommates next yr and we were talking about roommate stuff when i visited and she was nice when i told her that im not comfortable with [her one friend who is weird and creepy and who i think is a misogynist] being in our room at all 👍

#obviously we talked abt other stuff during the visit and we went to a lot of fun places #but that stuff i can like . post on instagram or whatever #this website is for people who dont know me irl !#yeah and she knows i hate this guy and sometimes she has issues w him too #and she told me that the friend group with her and him and some other guys is like #kind of unstable so .#i was like. even if im not there i just dont feel comfortable with him being near my stuff

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bojackhorsemanobviously · 1 year

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):

#there's all this talk in the show about the power he had over people but none about the women who had power over him #note im not saying that it excuses his shit either im just saying the eshow never really holds the women accountable #as a woman that annoys me #esp as one with a mom who has often made me feel worthless #i also found the writers to get way too insecure in s5 about how people viewed their main character that they felt the need to double down #give mc a sympathic backstory and will feel bad for him what were they expecting?#heck i felt kinda bad for beatrice and i dont hate her but her dad sucked you cant help but pity her esp as an old lady #angela diaz #scary women #she was so damn convincing #for a show about accountabiity its justall on one mans shoulder and it just doesnt feel like it was that fair shrugs #dont believe me?#ana his publist sexually assaults BJ #this is ignored and brushed off as if it never happened #beatrice his biggest abuser next to his father is given the sad old lady treatment that he acutally ends up being kind too #diane fucks pb who is with pickles and is mostly absolved of any wrong doing on her end #pc agrees to work with vance gets bj to a doc that gives him the opiums and does nothing to stop him from hurting gina #angela is gay the whole time and still fires herb then berates and offers a man who is mentally unstable more alchhol #it also felt tacked on in ep 10 of s5 to me like it came of super insecure #oh he def did shitty sshit that is unforgiveable but it felt like they were just throwing a bunc of random x//a/s to double down

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hannibalismos-jaaneman · 2 months

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istg i hate y'all for shitting on will's mom like i am 100% sure that will probably had her in his baby years like till 3 or something and i'm also sure that he got his empathy from her and i'm also sure that his father sent her to a mental hospital because she was unhinged and took her away from him and told him that she left on her own.

#raj shitposting #i imagine that she did not actually want a child and that she resented her husband for forcing her into motherhood.#but she would've loved will. she probably loved him so much that she decided to stick around for him.#but she would've been just as sick as him and will's father would've not been able to handle her.#he would've sent her to therapy against her volition. got her admitted in a mental hospital because he would've had enough of her.#then he would've gone on to weave all sorts of fabricated lies to tell will that his mother never loved him.#will just seems like the sort of person who's mind was poisoned to hate their mother as a child.#it kinda breaks my heart when people think his mother was aloof. dude i'm sure as heck she was mentally unstable.#but her heart was definitely in the right place. i can't imagine will being anything like his father.#which is why i think he'd be exactly like his mother.#miss will graham #hannibal

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deviantdrkate · 10 months

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Ugh I love Sally Reed so much she's such good bipolar-and-going-through-it representation and every time she freaks out I'm like "lol I know that one."

#shadows at the edge of your vision? check #feeling safe with someone whos bad for you because if you fuck up they wont judge you as harshly? check #mixed episode meltdowns with racing speech? check #undiagnosed parent prioritizing their stability/writing off unstable child's needs & the other parent tries to manage boths feelings? HA!#the susceptibility to groups that mirror that dyamic but with lovebombing as aftercare? HOOOOO #being so used to being undermined you become a bitch??? DUH #rejecting success because of the learned experience of having the rug yanked out from under you and wanting to avoid that depression? CHEC #i understand if you hate her she is at her worst and she needs help #but she is also slaying #barry hbo

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ofyorkshire · 3 months

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turning the bizarre image of angry, vengeful 1983!bj feeding what i am almost certain is a hallucination of his child self a wedge of orange around in my head today.

#it's so strangely uncomfortable yet sweet and i can't pinpoint why.#there's a coldness in that scene and idk if it's coming from how bj interacts with him (*making* him eat the orange)#or how he imagines a hollowness in little barry from the moment he sees him. or if it's bc before we can even assume barry isn't real #we know bj is there to visit his mum and he's getting angrier and more unstable the closer he gets to his old home.#it's like. even though i don't think bj would be violent toward a child... something puts me on edge.#it's like it feigns warmth (feeding him. offering him his band badge. trying to make a connection?) but there's just emptiness. it's cold.#(barry vanishes inexplicably when bj attacks his mum btw and his mum doesn't mention him *once* so it leads me to believe he wasn't real.)#(also the comment about ghosts seems two-fold: mrs. anderson thinking bj has been dead all this time and barry being a 'ghost' in bj's head #but like. idk. that scene is so weird. the way bj interacts with what must be himself. it teeters between trying to be kind and #seeming to almost dislike/hate what he sees.#film!bj is interesting to me at that stage but i want to pick book!bj's brain more. i don't understand him much at all.#again tho. none of this *really* has any bearing on my portrayal since i'm more film-based. but still. turning it around.#wondering if there's anything to pick from it.#wondering if... bj hates his child self? probably a bit. probably... could at least learn to be gentler with himself.#hm.#out of fairy tales [ooc];#sorry putting on my clown nose again.

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