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l4verq · 3 years

Text

crossed out | b.b

bucky barnes x reader

in which you’re one of the names on bucky’s list

warnings : angst, fluff?, mentions of choking

fic : one shot

a/n : u know i’m a sucker for therapy bucky lol

He should have skipped today’s session.

Cause he’s starting to regret coming when she brings it up.

“You gonna tell me about her?” Cecelia questions, casually flicking through a thick folder labelled James B.B.

But it was never casual.

Bucky knew she was observing his every move, his every tick. And he’d been pretty good at faking through every session until now.

“I thought you were helping me make amends.” He forges an unamused smile, which was second nature now.

“Yes and that’s why I asked you about her.” She looks up from the folder, the smallest smile tugging at her lips.

“It says here that you guys were complicated.” She continues, eyes skimming over a particular page.

Complicated was the last thing he’d use to describe it.

Cause it was the one thing that gave him some clarity, hope that he could be deserving of love again someday.

“We used to date. We broke up.” He gruffs, crossing his arms.

Maybe he should fake a mechanical failure in his arm, reschedule for another time.

“Do you still love her?”

He doesn’t answer but it’s written all over his face and Cecelia can read him like a book.

She turns over his list that she’d assigned him to make, eyes trailing down names until it reaches a hastily crossed out name at the end.

“Why don’t we pick this up next week? I hope you’ll be more comfortable to talk about it then.” She hands him back the small, black notebook.

He hesitantly takes it back, his feet already springing to get out of the room.

Was it just him or was the air running out in this tiny room.

“And, James?” She calls out.

He looks back, slightly winded.

“Remember, sometimes you need to just take a leap of faith, trust your heart.”

He nods solemnly, almost tripping over his legs trying to get to the door.

Hands fumbling over the handle, he’s greeted by a rush of cool air when he finally opens the goddamn door.

He stuffs the notebook in his pocket, taking big strides towards the exit.

It’s the same everyday.

Keep his head down, one sharp left, stop by the nearby cafe if he feels like it.

But today, he takes a right, taking out his flip phone he prefers to the touch screens these days.

Punching in the only number he knows, his stomach’s doing flips.

Don’t pick up, don’t pick up.

“So you do know how to call someone.” Sam picks up after a few rings.

He could almost hear the stupid smirk.

“How are you?” He cringes, the grip on his phone tightening.

It’s a small pause before Sam chuckles, “Y/N’s doing fine. In fact, she just got back from a mission in Prague yesterday.”

Of course, you’d still be going on missions, it was the only thing you knew.

“That’s not why I called.” He huffs, leaning against his car now.

It was an old, beat up Honda that he’d fixed up from the local junkyard.

“Really? Then enlighten me.”

It was Cecelia’s fault for bringing you up. If she hadn’t brought her up, he wouldn’t be here doing this.

“Where is she?” He closes his eyes, wanting the ground to just crack open and swallow him whole.

“Right where you left her.”

He mumbles a hasty goodbye cause he’s not sure he can trust himself to keep his composure any longer.

Getting into the car, he pulls out the notebook, going through the list.

He’d ticked off the list last month, even adding a few more names just to avoid the crossed out name at the end.

He jams the keys in, the car purring to life, before he can change his mind.

The door is taunting him.

He doesn’t know how but it is.

A quick exhale and he raises his hand to knock on it, half hoping you won’t open it.

But you do.

He always loved your eyes cause they held so much life to them.

Like for now, confusion morphing to recognition and rage in an instant.

You’re in bad shape, he can gather from the slight limp and bruises.

It feels like forever before you call his name in disbelief, what he’s longed to hear for so long.

He wishes you’d curse him out, hit him or tell him to go away cause that’s what he deserves.

But you don’t.

Instead, your pretty eyes brim with tears.

“Don’t.” He grits his teeth, unable to meet your eyes.

He always hated to see you cry.

“Then, why’d you leave?” Your voice breaks as months of bottled up heartache pour out.

He had to.

You were the only right thing he’d done in a long long time and he couldn’t mess it up.

“I needed to fix myself before I could trust myself around you.”

He grimaces as he remembers the life draining out of your face, while his hands were wrapped around your neck.

That very night he’d left, requested for therapy and could only hope it would work.

But it didn’t.

There was no fixing anything, he’d realised that waking up from nightmares far too many times.

“You could have picked up the phone.” Your voice barely above a whisper, stinging like a nasty burn.

He almost did, everytime.

But he hated himself too much to allow that.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all he can whisper, fighting the urge to take you in his arms.

“If you’d just let me in, realise that I do understand you.” You’re basically pleading at this point but you don’t care.

“I know you do. But you don’t have to. You deserve a better guy.” He says the same thing when he left like a broken radio.

“There is no better guy for me, Bucky. Why can’t you get that through your thick skull?” You limp over closer to him.

You know he’s focused only on your limp, eyes filled with concern as they rake over your wounds.

“Does it hurt?”

The same thing he always used to ask after a mission while tending to your injuries.

“Yea, here.” You pat the left side of your chest, biting down a smile.

He has to fight back one too, but it’s kinda hard.

You meet his eyes, a little too long cause you’ve missed gazing into them every morning.

Maybe this is the leap of faith Cecelia keeps droning on about, he thinks as he leans in, “We should take a look at that, then.”

You sniffle, “I’m still mad at you.”

He laughs, which involuntarily makes you 2% less mad.

“I missed you.” He whispers, his lips inches away from yours.

You don’t have to say it back cause he knows.

He leans in closer, ghosting over your lips, waiting for your approval.

You close the distance, lips crashing into his almost in desperation.

Which you regret almost immediately cause you taste blood.

A split lip and kissing, not so pretty.

He pulls away and you mewl, pulling him back.

“You’re only making your lips worse.” He chuckles, hands slipping into yours.

Instead, he kisses your forehead, trailing all the way to your lips where he pecks them gently.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers again, head leaning on yours.

“I forgave you a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to come back.” You sob, tears springing out again.

He pulls you into his chest, steady hands you’ve craved for so long.

Gently rocking you back and forth, he strokes your hair, fleeting kisses to calm you down.

You’re struggling to keep your legs stable as your eyes grow heavy but you ignore the blatant aches in your body cause you don’t want to leave his embrace.

And he somehow always seems to notice.

“You need to rest.”

You shake your head, holding onto him even tighter.

He knows he won’t win against your stubborn ass so he lifts you up carefully, legs swinging over his arms while you snake your hands around his neck for support.

“Stay.” You mumble as he takes you in the room you two used to share.

And he does.

Boy, was Cecelia in for a ride next session.

a/n : im cringing as i post this🧎🏻‍♀️🔫🏃🏻‍��️jsneyswjausowkaw but supeerr excited for tfatws this friday :)) also i named bucky’s therapist for convenience lol im pretty sure she’s not named in the first ep? i could be wrong tho

#bucky barnes #tfatws #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #the winter soldier #mcu #marvel

873 notes · View notes

izzyfandoms · 4 years

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Sleepality - Inky Freckles

SHIPS: Sleepality, background Virmile and Thomgan, and mentioned Dukeceit (though neither of them show up)

WARNINGS: Remus sends one text message with an implied threat (not towards the recipient), very very background sympathetic deceit and remus (they aren't acc in any scenes), mild swearing

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @ajdraws0430 @phantomofthesanderssides @creativity-killed-thekitten @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread

Masterpost

Patton chewed distractedly on the end of his pen, tapping his foot on his bedroom floor as his eyes remained on his clock, watching as the seconds and the minutes ticked by.

Five minutes. Ten seconds.

Five minutes and ten seconds until the moment he turned sixteen.

January 15th, 1:46 am on the dot: the exact date and time of Patton’s birth. Precisely sixteen years after that moment, his soul would open up, and the bond between him and his soulmate would be formed, like an invisible string from one soul to the other. Any ink spilled on Patton’s skin would show up on his soulmate’s, too, and vice versa. Of course, nothing would happen if Patton’s soulmate wasn’t also sixteen yet, but it was still a big moment in his young life.

(If he even had a soulmate, that was. Most people didn’t, but Patton wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t hopeful.)

Four minutes. Thirty-six seconds.

Patton got up from his desk, pacing around the room a few times before sitting down on his bed, leaning back against the pillows and pulling his knees to his chest. Despite the coolness of his room, and the goose-bumps on his arms, he was dressed in a worn blue t-shirt and pyjama shorts, revealing as much skin as possible, just in case. His father, Roman, had gifted him a new pack of pens – the ones made specially to be safe for skin – and he’d picked out the glittery light blue one, his favourite colour, ready to write.

Three minutes. Twelve seconds.

“Come on, come on, come on,” Patton mumbled.

Three minutes. Seven seconds.

He yawned loudly, stretching and almost dropping his pen. It was late – much later than he usually stayed up. Patton was a well-behaved kid; he went to bed when his father told him to, never stayed out past curfew. He was usually fast asleep by 11pm at latest, so this was rather unusual for him.

Tonight was one of a kind, after all.

Two minutes. Fifty-one seconds.

The tick of the clock was maddeningly slow, every second seeming to take hours. Patton couldn’t wait for when he didn’t have to keep watching.

He reached over to his bedside table, taking his phone and switching it on.

There was one new message, from his uncle Remus, sent a few minutes ago.

UNCLE REMUS

tell your soulmate if he ever hurts you ill rip off his dick and shove it down his throat

Patton sighed, switching off his phone and placing it back down beside him. He wasn’t sure why his uncle was so certain that he had a soulmate – he claimed it was because he was psychic, though his husband, Janus, had chided him and told him not to get Patton’s hopes up.

It was hard not to be hopeful. Impossible.

One minute. Forty-nine seconds.

Patton chewed nervously on his lip, looking over his freckled arms and wondering what exactly he’d write to his soulmate.

Would a simple ‘hello’ suffice?

There was no point in writing a whole paragraph, especially when it was statistically unlikely that Patton even had a soulmate – and even if he did, perhaps they were younger, and their connection wouldn’t start until his soulmate turned sixteen, too.

One minute. Zero seconds.

A minute. A minute. A minute. Just a minute until Patton (maybe) talked to his soulmate for the first time. That was so little time – though it felt like so much.

Patton couldn’t help but burst into delighted laughter, and he was sure that if anybody was watching him, they’d think he was insane. The hope bubbled up inside him, like a cup overflowing with water, unable to be suppressed.

Fifty seconds.

He moved forward, and then lay down on his back, spreading his arms out like a starfish.

Patton tried to keep the hope down, tried to keep it from spilling over even more. Or maybe that was nausea, swirling in his stomach, but it almost felt too good to be that. Too happy. Too excited. Both, maybe.

Forty seconds.

Patton twirled the pen in his hand.

It slipped from his fingers, hitting the carpet with a quiet thump.

He bent down – wobbling slightly and nearly tumbling right off his bed – picking it back up and then sitting up again. He moved so his back was pressed against the wall, and tilted his head up to look at the pattern at the ceiling, counting each swirl.

He glanced back at the clock.

Twenty seconds.

His heart thumped loudly in his chest, and his eyes remained on the clock, watching it tick.

Ten seconds.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Zero.

Zero. Zero. Zero.

Patton sat up straight, squeezing the pen tightly, so tightly that his nails dug into his palm.

He pulled off the cap, dropping it on the bed beside him and holding the tip just above his wrist. His hand shook (nervousness or excitement? Both) as he pondered what to write for another moment.

He pressed the pen to his skin.

Hello?

Hopefully that was good enough.

Patton waited a few seconds, almost a whole minute, and then sighed, leaning back so his head hit the wall and closing his eyes. He was disappointed, but he knew that it was his own fault. He shouldn’t have let himself get so hopeful. Maybe he didn’t have a soulmate – that was alright, his uncles weren’t soulmates and yet they were wonderfully happy together.

(But his brother, Emile, did have a soulmate, and there was something amazing about the way he and Virgil could practically read each other’s minds, communicating effortlessly without saying a word. Patton wanted that. He really, desperately wanted that, more than anything else in the world.)

He wouldn’t cry.

He wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t.

His lower lip trembled.

All of a sudden, Patton felt a funny sensation on his wrist, like someone else was writing on it – the non-existent pen so light on his skin he almost couldn’t feel it. Almost.

Patton’s eyes shot open, and he immediately lifted his wrist to stare at it, wide-eyed.

His breath stuttered at the words now written in black ink just below his greeting.

holy shit

Before Patton could truly process what was going on, before he could regain his breath, the sensation resumed, and more words began to appear below those first ones.

guess im ur soulmate lol

Patton couldn’t help but giggle, practically vibrating with excitement.

He picked his pen back up, ignoring the slight stain he’d left on his bedsheets. He’d spilt enough juice and milk on his bed to care about one little stain, especially right now, when he had a much more important thing to focus on.

Oh my gosh!!!!!!

Soulmate!!!

Im Patton!

Patton Picani!!!

thats a lot of exclamation marks babe

Nervousness tinged the edges of Patton’s bubble of excitement, enough that he almost didn’t notice the use of the word ‘babe’, which made his heart skip a beat.

sorry

not a bad thing

its cute

Patton bit his lip, wiggling excitedly as his heartrate increased. He watched as the words continued coming. They were messy, but Patton was sure the handwriting was the prettiest he’d ever seen, though he could admit that he might’ve been a little biased. He would read a million books written in this handwriting.

im Remy

Sanders

my bdays acc the 16th lol

tomorrow

i turn 17

Its my birthday today!!!!

Only after Patton wrote that did he realise how obvious it was – of course it was his birthday – but he didn’t particularly care. The ticking of the clock had faded into background noise, and it was hard to believe it had ever annoyed him so much, though it was impossible for him to think of anything negative right now. He was floating on cloud nine.

happy birthday

were running out of arm space

id have to strip to get leg room

wanna gimme ur number?

Okay!!!

They quickly exchanged phone numbers, and Patton immediately grabbed his phone, creating a new contact labelled ‘Remy’ followed by seven colourful hearts – a rainbow of love. But before he could text Remy, Remy texted him first.

REMY:

what time is it for u

Patton glanced at the clock.

PATTON:

Almost 2am

REMY:

same

Realisation struck Patton, and his eyes widened with guilt and concern. He bit his lip, and quickly resumed typing.

PATTON:

Oh my gosh im so sorry!!!! Did I wake you up?

REMY:

nah babe dw bout it

i was already up

i always sleep late

PATTON:

That sounds unhealthy :(

Get some rest!!!

REMY:

u sound like my dads lol

PATTON:

What are they like?

REMY:

my dads?

its just the three of us

their names are logan and thomas and theyre the sappiest motherfuckers on earth

gotta love em tho

theyre gonna be real thrilled when they find out bout u

bet theyll love you right away

wbu

whats ur fam like

PATTON:

Oh! Well ive got my dad

His name’s Roman

He works in theatre!!! Hes so cool

And I’ve got my older brother Emile hes 22 and hes a therapist

He uses cartoons to help people!!

Hes also got a soulmate his name is Virgil and hes a florist

They got married last year and the wedding was so much fun!!! So many pretty flowers!!!

And I’ve got my uncle Remus hes my dads twin hes a writer and his husband Janus is a lawyer theyre also both so cool!!!

And that’s everyone!!

REMY:

if theyre all as sweet as u sugar then im sure ur all v popular

PATTON:

Well we do have dinner with our neighbours a lot!!!

Mrs Smith gives me lots of candy

Its often stale but I eat it anyway cos shes just so sweet!

Sweeter than her candy lol

Patton’s door suddenly swung open, and he jumped, his phone slipping from his fingers and landing right in his lap. His father, Roman, stepped inside, yawning and rubbing his eyes, wincing at the bright light that hung from the ceiling.

“You still up, Pat?” He asked sleepily.

He squinted, his eyes landing on the still-on phone in Patton’s lap.

“Who are you te- by the glittering horn of a unicorn! Is that writing on your arm?” He sat down, taking Patton’s arm and looking over the words. He then glanced back up at his son, his eyes shining excitedly. “You have a soulmate,” He breathed.

“I do!” Patton exclaimed, bouncing excitedly in place. “His name is Remy and he turns seventeen tomorrow and he’s just so cool!”

Roman beamed. “Wow, I’m so incredibly happy for you, Pat!” He said. Then, he chuckled, his smile turning a little teasing. “But... it’s late, and you really should be sleeping. And I’m betting that Remy should be, too.”

Patton pouted a little. “But it’s a Friday! I don’t have any school tomorrow.”

“But the family’s coming over tomorrow at 10 for your birthday, and I know you. You’re gonna be all grumbly in the morning, instead of our happy-pappy Patton, and that’ll be even worse the less sleep you get.”

Patton drooped, like a little wilting flower, but couldn’t deny that his father was right.

“Okay...” He frowned, picking up his phone, switching off the screen without looking at it, and holding it against his chest. “Can I at least say night to Remy, first?”

Roman smiled. “Sure.”

He leant forward, squeezing Patton’s arm supportively, before pressing a quick kiss to his son’s forehead. Roman gave him one last smile, affectionately ruffling his hair, before pulling back and standing up. He brushed the non-existent dirt from his pyjamas.

“Goodnight, Pat,” He said. “And happy birthday.”

In the excitement that was talking to Remy, Patton had almost forgotten that it was his birthday, and he blinked in surprise as Roman left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Patton then took a deep breath, before switching his phone back on to see whatever messages he’d missed.

REMY:

u rlly r an angel huh

PATTON:

Awwwww!!

Your making me blush

REMY:

thats the goal babe

PATTON:

Such a flirt!!

REMY:

im gonna be ten times more flirty when i get to see ur pretty face in person

PATTON:

How do you know Im pretty?

You havent even seen me yet

REMY:

i can just tell

im awesome like that

i bet ur the cutest person in the whole damn world

the whole damn universe

but while were on the subject of seeing each other

were waiting to meet naturally right?

PATTON:

Yeah!

Its good luck

REMY:

yea

PATTON:

Welp!!!

Dad says I gotta go to sleep now!!

Night <3<3<3

REMY:

night xoxox

Patton switched off his phone, placing it on his bedside table and getting off the bed. He wobbled slightly as he stood up, suddenly realising how tired he really was, and quickly walked up to his fairy lights, switching them on before switching off the main light. He then climbed back into bed, settling in the soft nest of pastel pillows and blankets, and his last thought before he fell asleep was of his soulmate.

He barely knew Remy, but he already couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with him.

***

The sound of the alarm from Remy’s phone rang through the room, waking him up suddenly. His immediate reaction was to groan, shutting it off quickly and then returning to the warm comfort of his mattress and pillows and blanket. It was the weekend, he had no plans, so if his dads wanted him up, they could come in and get him up themselves. Remy wanted to sleep.

Then, the memories of the night before flooded back to him, and he shot up in bed, pulling out his arm and staring at it wide-eyed.

The words Patton had written last night had now been washed away – likely to leave room for new words and new conversations – whilst Remy’s words still remained, though now a little smudged and faded. The only sign that Patton’s words had ever been there in the first place was the new word on his wrist, just below his palm, in baby blue, like the ones before.

Morning <3

Remy grinned, jumping out of bed much more enthusiastically than he usually did, grabbing the black pen on his bedside table and rushing to the bathroom, thankfully not bumping into either of his dads on the way there.

He washed his arms as quickly as he could, leaving them a little sore and red, though he didn’t care, and uncapped his pen with his teeth, leaving the lid in his mouth.

mornin

!!!!!

Do you always get up this late?

Remy laughed. The handwriting was a little larger and a little neater than his, and each i was dotted with a heart, which made him even more convinced that his soulmate was probably the cutest person on earth.

what time is it

10:30

later usually

what time did u get up

8:30

oof

i could never

What do you do for school then?

suffer

Remy took the pen lid out of his mouth, pocketing it and twirling the uncapped pen between his fingers, watching as more light blue words appeared on his arm. The sensation was feather-light, barely there, but impossible to ignore.

Aww no!!

I don’t want you to suffer :(

dw babe ive got coffee

life saver

id die without it

100%

Well make sure you don’t drink too much!!!!

Its bad for you!!

dw my dad always tells me that

he keeps an eye on it

Which one?

logan

Okay

There was a brief pause, and Remy almost continued writing, but he got the feeling that Patton wasn’t done, so he just waited patiently, tapping his foot against the tiled bathroom floor.

Do you mind if I doodle on my arms?

I usually do when Im bored but I thought Id ask

I wont if you don’t want me to tho

go ahead

what do u doodle?

I usually just connect my freckles

Like little constellations!!!!

It was impossible to keep the grin on Remy’s face from widening – Patton's enthusiasm was adorable and infectious – and he sat down on the edge of the bathtub, crossing one leg over the other as he pressed his pen to his skin and continued writing.

u got a lot of freckles?

Yup!

Theyre everywhere

everywhere?

Yeah!

one day

im gonna kiss every single one of your freckles

(Perhaps that was a little bold for only their second conversation, but Remy was a natural flirt, and Patton was his soulmate, after all. He’d back down at any sign of discomfort, but so far Patton had seemed receptive.)

every single one

Thats a lot of kisses

not enough

but itll be a good start

A little, swirly scribble appeared just beside the words Remy had written – the universal key-smash equivalent for soulmates writing on their skin. Just the thought that he was already able to fluster Patton so easily made Remy very, very happy. He grinned.

Gtg! Presents time!

Ill talk to you later <3<3<3

later xoxo

Remy fished the pen lid back out of his pocket, capping the pen and pocketing it. He then strolled back out of the bathroom, down the stairs, and towards the kitchen.

His fathers were both sat at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and talking. Their legs were pressed together under the table, and it was clear they’d just been flirting. Both Logan and Thomas looked up when Remy entered the room, surprised.

“What kind of natural disaster got you up before midday?” Thomas joked.

Remy waved his arm, showing off the writing, and Logan choked on his coffee. Thomas patted his back a few times worriedly, and Remy waited impatiently for the conversation to resume, tapping his foot against the floor.

“Is that what I think it is?” Logan asked incredulously, once he was breathing again.

Remy nodded. “Yup. Can I make coffee?”

Thomas nodded slowly, but it was clear he was much more focused on the previous topic at hand.

“You have a soulmate?” He asked. “Oh my gosh! What’s their name? Aren’t you gonna tell us about them?”

“Well, his name’s Patton,” Remy began, heading towards the coffee machine and immediately getting to work to make himself a large mug. “It’s his birthday today – it was actually, like, 2am, or something – and he’s real cute. I think you’ll both like him.”

Thomas exchanged a look with his husband – the former much more openly thrilled, whilst the latter looked more confused, though undeniably pleased. He then stood up, opening his arms immediately.

“I think this calls for a family hug,” Thomas grinned.

Logan sighed, but put his own coffee mug back down, getting up obediently.

Remy groaned. “Really? Before my coffee? Do I have to?”

“Yup! Right now,” Thomas said, wrapping one arm around Logan’s waist and resting his chin on his head, keeping his other arm outstretched, awaiting their son. “This is a big moment! It calls for a family hug. C’mere.”

“There is no point refusing, Remy,” Logan said dryly. “I learnt that a long time ago.”

“Aww, you love me.”

“Of course. That is why we got married, after all.”

Remy groaned again. “Are you two really flirting, right now? Gross.”

“Well, if you want us to stop flirting, you’re gonna have to join the hug.”

Remy sighed exaggeratedly, dragging his feet as he walked up to his dads, reluctantly joining the family hug. Then, he pulled back as quickly as he could get away with, making a face and turning back to the coffee machine. He quickly made himself a large mug – with excessive amounts of milk and sugar, something his father would usually criticise, though he seemed to turn a blind eye for today.

Remy then sat down at the table, beside Thomas, sipping eagerly at his coffee and leaning back in his chair.

His fathers didn’t take their eyes off of his arm, clearly reading the words, and after about a minute, Remy rolled his eyes, placing the coffee on his table and crossing his arms.

“What are you looking at?”

“Attitude, Remy,” Thomas sighed. “Be nice. And we’re looking at your arm because we’re excited! You have a soulmate, that’s a really big deal! We should celebrate.”

Remy perked up. “Celebrate?”

Logan nodded in agreement. “Perhaps tonight we could have dinner at the Italian place that you like.”

“Ooh, the one with that fancy pasta?”

“Weren’t we planning on going there tomorrow?” Thomas asked his husband.

Remy blinked, surprised. “We were?”

Thomas blinked, and then gave his husband a slightly sheepish smile. “I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that.”

Logan sighed. “Well, I think we can put that off for tomorrow, then. Today... you may invite a few friends over.” Remy opened his mouth, but Logan quickly continued, interrupting him before he could speak. “Three friends, maximum. No parties.”

Remy pouted. “Only three? Lame.”

“If you complain, we’ll bring it down to two.”

“Three sounds great!”

***

Patton picked up his phone, holding it to his ear as he paced casually around his room.

“Emile!” He greeted. “How are you?”

“Happy birthday, Pat!” Emile greeted cheerfully, and Patton could practically hear the usual smile on his face. “And I’m doing great. Virgil invited his brother to dinner yesterday, so that was fun, and I had a real breakthrough with one of my clients, too. You?”

“I’m good! Hey, do you think this counts as Remy and my anniversary? I mean, I know we haven’t actually really met, yet, but it’s been a year since we first spoke, and we are soulmates. Does that count? Would it be weird to count it?”

Emile hummed. “I think that if you want it to count, it counts.”

“That’s a bit vague,” Patton sighed.

Emile laughed. “That’s just how it works, I’m afraid. How is Remy anyway? It’s his birthday tomorrow, right?”

Patton perked up at the opportunity to talk about his soulmate. “Remy’s great! He got a new job at the Starbucks near his house; he’s pretty excited about it. And yup, it’s his birthday tomorrow! He turns eighteen. It’s a funny coincidence, isn’t it? That our birthdays are so close?”

“It’s actually a lot more common for soulmates to have these similarities than you’d think,” Emile said. “Close birthdays, close locations, things like that. I mean, Virgil and I were both born in the same hospital.”

“Really? Oh, that’s cool!” Patton smiled.

He sat down on his bed, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged, and moving so his back was against the wall, half-sitting on one of his pillows.

“Yup! I’ve researched a lot about these things,” Emile said. “And- oh, Virgil, there you are!”

Patton heard rustling on the other end of the line, like Emile was temporarily putting his phone down, probably to greet and kiss his husband. He waited patiently, humming a song from the Steven Universe movie and drumming his fingers against his leg. His eyes scanned the various words written across his arms. Shiny black and glittery light blue. There were doodles, too – lines connecting the dots of his freckles, done by himself, and little stars and moons and hearts by Remy.

Then the rustling resumed, more movement, and Patton stopped humming.

“Morning, Pat,” Virgil greeted.

Patton smiled. “Virgil! How’s work going?”

“Not bad. I helped a guy arrange a hate-bouquet for his ex-boyfriend yesterday, so that was fun.”

“Sounds interesting!”

Virgil hummed in agreement, and it sounded like he was nodding. “I’m gonna hand the phone back to Emile, now. Happy birthday, kid.”

“Thanks!”

There was another moment of rustling, and then Emile returned.

“Okay, Virgil and I have to get to work,” Emile said. “We’re stopping by later for dinner, dad already knows. And, before you ask, no I will not tell you what your gift is, you’re gonna have to wait and see.”

Patton pouted. “Aww, okay. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Patton hung up the phone, before switching over to the texting app, and opening up his conversation with Remy.

PATTON

Hey im running out of space

So im gonna clean my arm

Can you too?

Remy responded almost immediately, as he usually did.

REMY

sure

one sec

Patton smiled, getting up and pocketing his phone. He headed over to the bathroom, quickly scrubbing away the words on his arms (he could leave the ones still remaining on his legs and torso, for now), and watching as Remy’s words disappeared at about the same time.

He then returned to his bedroom, sitting back down on his bed and fetching and uncapping his favourite pen.

The moment the tip of his pen touched his skin, a small black dot appeared just below it, like Remy was doing the exact same on his side – unintentionally trying to write in unison. All of a sudden, a wave of peace and happiness washed over Patton, but the emotions didn’t come from within himself. No, they came from an outside source, from somewhere else. Not from him.

From Remy.

At first, Patton was confused, disoriented, and then his heart skipped a beat, and he lifted his pen from his wrist.

The feeling stopped.

He then returned the pen to his wrist, creating another dot of light blue ink. For a moment, nothing happened, the feeling didn’t return, but then a small black speck appeared just beside his.

This time, the happiness was joined by an almost cautious excitement, tinged with something else.

What was it?

Love?

Love.

It felt like Patton was loving himself, except the love came from elsewhere, it came from Remy. Like a warm, comfortable blanket of love, wrapping around him and keeping him safe.

Patton beamed, wide and toothy and delighted, leaning back against the pillows and practically wiggling with excitement, careful to keep his pen tip on his wrist. A similar, thrilled feeling came back at him, and Patton quickly realised that whatever feelings he was getting from Remy, Remy was probably getting some very similar feelings in return from him.

damn babe

either something v weird is happening to me or thats ur feelings im feeling

I can feel it too!!!

Oh my gosh!

good i was worried i might be drunk

Have you been drinking?

nah thats why i was worried lmao

would be v weird to be drunk with no booze

Well that sure would be unusual!

The feelings from Remy weren’t constant, they only surfaced when both Patton and Remy were writing at once – flashes of emotions that were practically addicting. He wanted to keep feeling those feelings forever.

this is v weird

on and off

think itll get more constant the more we talk?

like we wont need to be both writing at the same time to feel it or smth?

Yeah!

I think so

Thats what happened with Em and Virge at least

cool

cant wait

There was a brief pause, and then Remy’s writing resumed.

can we doodle?

might make the empathy connection thingy better

Sure!

Patton giggled, unable to help himself, before pressing the tip of his pen to one of his freckles and drawing a thin line from it to another. Then another and another and another. Over and around the written words. He wasn’t making any specific shape or pattern in particular, just connecting the numerous dots. As he did this, Patton felt new shapes and doodles appearing on his legs, though he couldn’t see them through his trousers. Hearts and stars and moons and pawprints, most likely. The last one was new – Patton’s favourite.

He could feel Remy’s peace and contentment and love (love, love), like it was flowing through the air and seeping through his skin, filling him with happiness. Sometimes, it even increased for a brief moment, usually just after Patton’s happiness bubbled over into delighted giggles. It was a cycle – happiness creating happiness creating happiness.

Patton loved Remy. Remy loved Patton.

Love. Love. Love.

***

“Hey, Remy!”

Remy glanced up from his phone, straightening up as noticed and watched his best friend, Toby, approaching him. His foot tapped impatiently against the pavement, and his sunglasses were on to shield his eyes from bright midday sun.

“Gurl, what was taking you so long?” Remy complained, stuffing his phone into his pocket and crossing his arms, practically pouting. “I’ve been waiting here for, like, hours.”

Toby gave him a dry look. “I’m ten minutes late.”

“And that’s, like, ten hours in gay-and-in-a-hurry time.”

“In a hurry? What the hell are we even doing? Your text was very vague.”

“Well, it’s my dad’s birthday in a-”

“Which one?”

“Thomas. Bitch, stop interrupting me.”

Toby laughed, and Remy glared at him. He held his hands up defensively in mock surrender, and then gestured for Remy to continue.

“Anyway, it’s my dad’s birthday on Sunday and I’m supposed to get him a gift. I dunno what, though, so you’re gonna help me.”

“I’m pretty sure you know him better than I do.”

Remy shushed him. “Gurl, I am not letting you get out of helping me. So, we’re going to-”

He suddenly froze, going silent. Remy’s brow then creased, too, and after a moment of stillness he began to rapidly pat his arms and legs, like he was looking for something, though he didn’t seem to find it. Toby gave him a bewildered look.

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“I can feel Patton’s emotions,” Remy said.

He could, but only barely – just little hints of Patton, pricking the edges of his soul – much less than he was used to, but still impossible to ignore. He was used to these feelings by now, always recognising them immediately, though this time it was... different.

“Okay... so, he’s writing to you? Isn’t that normal?”

Remy looked back at him, looking just as confused as Toby. “No, he isn’t. He isn’t writing to me. No ink.”

“He... isn’t?”

“I can always feel it,” Remy explained. “Always. But not right now. Why... why-” He froze, his eyes widening behind his dark sunglasses.

“What?”

“He must be close. He must- oh my god, he must be close!” Remy looked around quickly, at all of the surrounding pedestrians. None of them looked right – none of them were Patton – but he could practically sense him. He was so close.

Toby blinked. “Really?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes. Yes, really. I know what I’m talking about!” Remy exclaimed, perhaps a little harsher than intended. “The empath shit only happens when you write or when you’re close. Gurl, that’s, like, common knowledge.”

Toby held his hands up. “Right, uh... sorry.” He cleared his throat. “So, how are we gonna find him?”

Remy’s brow scrunched up in thought. “I don’t know.”

His best friend shrugged, even more lost than he was.

“Maybe... maybe...” Remy continued, trailing off, before he suddenly straightened up. “It’ll get stronger the closer I get to him, so I just have to follow where it’s stronger, right? Like... like getting warmer and colder.”

Toby nodded slowly. “That makes sense. So, uh, walk around, and we’ll go in the direction that makes it stronger.”

Remy immediately began to pace in circles around Toby, pulling a slightly panicked face when at one point the feeling completely disappeared. Then, it got stronger, a wave of anticipation and curiosity, nervousness and excitement.

It suddenly hit Remy that if he could feel Patton, then Patton could feel him, too.

Patton was probably looking for him.

The corners of Remy’s lips twitched up into a smile. He was practically oozing excitement, and it was contagious, as Patton’s also seemed to increase – even Toby began smiling, too.

Toby patted him on the shoulder.

“Go on, follow your gut. I’ll be right behind you.”

Remy immediately turned on his heel, sprinting in the direction the emotions seemed to be coming from, and Toby almost tripped over his own feet following him. The empathy got stronger and stronger and stronger with every step, until it was even stronger than it usually was, and as his excitement further increased, so did Patton’s.

He rounded a corner, and immediately ran right into someone running at a similar speed, and they both tumbled to the ground with two loud thumps.

“Ah, fuck,” Remy groaned, closing his eyes and massaging the bridge of his nose as a jolt of pain shot down his leg.

“Oof,” The other boy winced.

His voice was like a bell, ringing through the air: suddenly the only sound that Remy could hear.

That was when Remy realised that Patton’s emotions were now equal to his own – mixing together in Remy’s soul until they were one and the same. It was almost like they were thinking and feeling as one, which was rather disorienting, to say the least.

Patton... Patton was right in front of him.

Remy opened his eyes, immediately coming face-to-face with the most gorgeous person he had even seen – a wide-eyed and freckled boy, about a year younger than Remy, staring back at him with parted lips and an equally startled expression. He was wearing a blue and grey t-shirt, showing off his arms and the words Remy had written to him today, and all the constellations he’d doodled on his own skin. Now, Remy could see the stars that he’d been missing, and, in his opinion, they were even better than the ones in the night sky.

Patton.

Patton, Patton, Patton.

“Patton,” Remy breathed.

“Remy.”

Remy laughed, uncontrolled and loud and delighted, sitting up straight and taking Patton’s hand in his own, squeezing it. It was warm and soft, Remy never wanted to let go, and when Patton squeezed back, he felt... complete. Perfect. Heaven.

Patton smiled – like a shining sun, one that thankfully didn’t hurt to look at, as Remy couldn’t take his eyes off of it.

“Wow,” Remy laughed. “You’re... wow.”

“Wow,” Patton echoed.

People were probably staring at them – Toby included – but Remy couldn’t take his eyes off of Patton to check. Patton seemed to be doing similarly, his eyes slowly taking in every part of Remy’s body, before returning to his face, staring into his eyes.

Patton’s eyes were brown, like honey in the sunlight. Beautiful.

“It’s... it’s nice to finally meet you,” Patton said softly.

“Likewise.”

There was a beat.

“You are gorgeous,” Remy continued, the words coming out before he could stop himself. He almost regretted blurting it out, but then Patton’s face turned a particularly pretty shade of pink, and Remy immediately grinned.

Patton squeezed his hand. “You, too.”

“Oh, I know I’m hot, babe,” Remy said, making Patton giggle. “But you, you’re... you’re an angel. Like, damn, how the hell did I get so lucky? I must’ve done something really freaking amazing in a past life to have deserved you.”

“You’re even more of a flirt in person,” Patton smiled, a little teasingly.

Remy laughed. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I warned you.”

“You did,” Patton said, smiling fondly.

“Is it too soon to ask if I can kiss you?” Remy asked suddenly. His tone of voice was casual, like he was joking, but they both knew – Patton could probably sense – that he was serious.

Patton didn’t hesitate, answering quickly. “No. I mean, yes. I mean... no, it’s not too soon. Please?”

Remy didn’t waste any time, reaching forward, carefully cradling Patton’s face in his hand and kissing him gently. His lips were soft and warm and Remy never wanted to stop kissing him. Patton covered Remy’s hand with his own free one, kissing back a little clumsily, though it was without a doubt enthusiastic.

Then, he got a little too enthusiastic, and Remy tumbled backwards, pulling Patton along with him.

They broke apart, and after a moment of startled – slightly awkward – silence, they both started laughing loudly, and Patton climbed off of him. He finally stood up, holding out his hand and helping Remy up, too.

The pedestrians that had been watching them had mostly all moved on by now, leaving only Toby hovering awkwardly nearby. He had his phone out, trying to distract himself, give them some privacy, though he was undeniably still keeping an eye out. It wasn’t every day you saw a soulmate pair’s first meeting.

Remy took Patton’s hands in his own, looking him over again and again and again.

An idea came to him – not a new one, one he’d thought about and talked about and dreamed and daydreamed about a million times – and he grinned in a way that he could feel made Patton’s heart skip a beat.

“Remember how I said I wanted to kiss every freckle?"

#me #writing #sleepality #sanders sides #remy sanders #sleep sanders #patton sanders #mosleep #soulmate au #human au #sanders sides au #thomas sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #emile picani #cartoon therapy #virmile #thomgan

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writingfromkitchenator · 3 years

Text

First Yule

Christmas fic

Masterlist

Requested by Anon

Fili x Female Reader

Words: 1,460

Warnings: Fluff, family fluff, excited child

Fili stirred from sleep, stretching to force his mind fully awake, even as he let out a groan, his body aching a little, earning a giggle from you.

He opens one eye to look at you, already sitting up in bed, a book open on your lap. “Morning love, does my pain amuse you?”

You smile at him. “Of course not dear, it’s just that whenever you do that, it’s like you’re making out you are much older than you are.”

Fili chuckles and rolls over to you, burying against your side. “Why are you awake so early?”

“I’ve been waking early most mornings,” You give a soft sigh, running your fingers through your hair. “It seems Vili has given it to me as a bad habit, although, I’m very surprised he’s not awake yet, given how excited he’s been.”

As if on cue, a small voice carries down the hall, making you both laugh softly.

“I’ll get him.” Fili said, climbing from bed, placing a kiss on your cheek.

A few moments later, after hearing a lot of giggling coming down the hall, Fili walks back into the bedroom, a small blonde haired boy in his arms, giving you a toothy grin and holding out grabby hands.

“Mama!”

You chuckle as Fili hands him over, peppering him with kisses. “Good morning Vili, are you excited for today!”

Vili giggles and squirms in your arms, trying to fight you off. “Yule!”

Both you and Fili grin at your son, while he was still too young to understand most of it, he was still sensitive to everyone through Erebor getting excited over it, meaning he got even more excited for it. He had spent weeks pointing out all the decorations, babbling excitedly and curiously about what it was all about.

When you and Fili started gathering presents, this got his excitement up even more.

Sure enough, he climbed down off the bed and tugged your hand. “Mama!”

“I think he wants his presents.” Fili said with a wink. “Shall we?”

You chuckle. “I’m surprised we don’t actually have other company yet either, but yes, before he pulls my arm off.”

Fili scoops Vili back into his arms, making him squeal and you make your way out into the living room, Vili quickly trying to squirm free.

“Easy little one,” Fili chuckled, earning a slightly pouted look. “I know, but we have to give them to you, okay?”

Vili blinks and then nods slowly, understanding.

You smile, quickly getting the fire burning up again. “Okay, which one do you want first?”

Soon, there was paper everyone, Vili almost buried under it, no matter how much he tried to throw it away from him, toys, books and clothes getting lost in amongst it all. The only thing that hadn’t moved from his side so far, was a stuffed rabbit, that you’d spent the last few months making for him. It was probably a little too big for him yet, but Vili did not seem to mind at all.

Vili’s smile didn’t drop as he pulled out another gift, a cute little hat that he quickly pulls onto his head.

You couldn’t help but giggle at this. “Has Bofur been encouraging him again?”

Fili joins in with the laughter as Vili pushes the paper away, his rabbit in his free hand, talking away. “Are you kidding? He can’t get enough of Bofur, keeps trying to steal his hat too.”

Vili hurries over to you and you scoop him up, where he places a very wet kiss against your cheek. “Ta!”

You kiss him, smiling widely. “You are very welcome Vili. Don’t forget to thank Papa too.”

Smiling, Vili holds his arms out for Fili, he quickly takes him, and he gets a very wet kiss too. “Ta!”

Fili chuckles, kissing his cheek before tickling his side. “Alright my little one, let’s go wash up and get dressed. We’ve got to go see Nana!”

“Nana!” Vili throws his hands up in the air, almost losing his rabbit, but he quickly pulls it back to himself, holding it tight and smiling.

There was an organised chaos as you and Fili took it in turns to get Vili ready, who kept wondering back to all his new things, and it only got worse when there was a knock on the door.

Vili rushes over it, although still much too short to reach the handle, and he says something that almost sounded like he was asking who it was.

There was laughter on the other side, even as Fili hurried out, picking Vili up. “How is my little dwarf?”

“Unk Ki!” Vili squealed as the door opened and Fili almost dropped him as he leant over to go to Kili.

Kili takes him, laughing. “Look at you! You get bigger every time I see you!”

Fili chuckles. “Don’t remind us, we swear he grows bigger every night.”

“He does!” Kili nods, even as Vili starts talking to him. “It won’t be long before I can’t pick him up!”

“Then you’ll have to start working hard.” You said, smiling. “Because he’s going to want his uncle running after him, we all know that.”

“Absolutely, Y/N and I do enough of that now,” Fili chuckles. “So it must be your turn seeing as you want him to get bigger quicker.”

“Bah, he’s not so bad,” Kili said. “I’m sure I can handle it.”

“Uh huh.” You and Fili said together before grinning at each other.

Kili chuckles and shakes his head. “Come on, are you two ready to go, or what?”

He kept a hold of Vili, still talking away, as you made your way through the winding halls of Erebor, many voices greeting, Vili always talking at them excitedly, making them laugh. It was as you reached the open hall that he screams even more excitedly.

“Nana!”

Dis turns and breaks into an instant smile, hurrying over to him as he tried to fight out of Kili’s grip. “Vili! Has my boy been enjoying his morning?”

Vili nods and starts to talk at her too, Dis nodding as she listens, greeting the rest of you, and she doesn’t miss a beat as she answers Vili, no matter nonsensical his words seemed.

Fili tugs you close, watching his mother walk easily around with Vili. “I think she has the magic touch, I don’t know how she does it.”

You giggle, kissing his cheek. “She went through it twice Fili, I think she has permission too.”

Vili points at his new hat and talks even more excitedly to Dis, who laughs and nods with him.

“Yep, and that hat is never coming off,” Fili chuckles. “What have I done?”

“Made your son incredibly happy,” You give him a squeeze. “And that’s all we ever want.”

“Tho!” Vili’s voice made you both look over again, a wide smile on his face, practically bouncing in Dis’ arms. “Tho!”

A deep chuckle makes you both turn, Thorin standing there, smiling, eyes alight even as he hugs Kili in greeting. “Sorry I’m late.”

Fili laughs, hugging him. “It’s okay Uncle, we’re used to it by now.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Thorin chuckles, greeting you as well with a tight hug. “I think your son is trying to get my attention.”

Vili was practically chanting his name now, making Dis laugh hard.

Thorin takes him and almost instantly pretends to drop him, holding him upside down, making Vili squeal in delight, and this goes on for several minutes, Thorin pretending to have him each time before dropping him down again, Vili completely unfazed even as he kept losing his hat, it just made the game more fun.

“Happy Yule my love.” Fili said quietly, placing a soft kiss to your temple.

“And to you.” You smile at him and tug him down for a proper kiss.

“Are the others coming?” Kili asked. “I’m starving.”

You and Fili laugh as Dis hits him. “Have some manners, I raised you better than that. We have presents to do first anyway!”

Thorin joins the laughter, Vili now securely up on his shoulders. “That’s only what I was thinking myself Dis.”

Vili nods, but it wasn’t till he spoke that you all realised he was understanding. “Food!”

She rolls her eyes, but smiles widely. “You are all terrible, anyone would think that you’re related.”

Others began to arrive, but Vili was now set on Thorin’s shoulders and had no intention of moving anywhere, earning more than a few laughs.

Soon, everyone was seated around a table, Vili sitting between you and Thorin, and you all settled down into food and laughter, Vili quiet often making himself the centre of attention, but no one seemed to mind.

#christmas fics #the hobbit #fili #fili x female reader #short #drabbles

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bl597 · 4 years

Note

Hello! Can I get a ship? Both the eras please, or whichever suits me better. I am a ravenclaw girl. I'm pretty shy and introverted. I'm a chaotic mom friend. I have a dark sense of humour tho I've a miss lil sunshine vibe around me. My head is always filled with plans for pranks but I seldom execute them. I love reading, writing, baking, and swimming. I am an affectionate person (no one could have guessed that). I have brown eyes, black hair, and golden natural skin. Thank you💕 ilysfm💖

Hey love!! Of course, hope you like it 🥰❤

warnings: hm none I guess?, just fluff!!!!!!, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes!!

my masterlist ♡ join my sleepover!

I ship you with... Cedric Diggory!

you two met during a Hogsmead trip

sure, you always heard about the famous Diggory, the Hufflepuff's seeker and one of the most handsome guys in Hogwarts

it was almost impossible not to know who was Cedric Diggory

but you only officially met during your fift year

you were with your friends hanging out around Hogsmead's shops

when you saw a book that you've been wanting for a while and you just needed to buy it!!

so you told them that you'd be back in a sec and left

you entered the shop and your eyes just lit up at the many magic products

and you just felt like you were in heaven

you were excitedly walking around the shop, looking for your dear book

when you hit something

at first you thought it was the wall, but you heard someone saying a small "ouch" and you looked up

realising it was a person, a very handsome hufflepuff boy

you immediately started apologizing to him and helped him get the stuff that fell when you bumped into him

he just gave you a charming smile and said it was nothing, and then introduced himself

and you were shooked™

because you had just bumped into none other than Cedric Fucking Diggory!!

you introduced yourself too because you didn't want to look like an idiot

then he gave you a last charming smile before leaving the shop

leaving you a blushing mess

you weren't the type to blush so easily, especially because of someone you just met! what had just happened?

okay

after that day you started noticing Cedric around the castle

and you realised you two actually shared a lot of classes????? how come you never noticed this boy before???

and you two started talking and you realised you two actually had a lot in common

you two became friends :D

after a few months, baby boy finally got the courage to ask you out you said yes ofc

you two went to Hogsmead and visited that shop where you two first met

he's such a gentleman and treats you like the princess you are

if someone ever dares to say some shit about you, he won't hesitate to lose Hufflepuff some points to defend his baby

don't worry, he gets more points later!

he always buys small gifts and candies, no matter how many times you tell him he doesn't have to do it

and when he found out you write oMg this boy is like your number 1 supporter!!!

he always asks you to read the things you wrote because he loves it

but if you feel uncomfortable or insecure with showing someone else your works

he would definitely understand and will never press you to do anything you don't want to

he loves studying and baking with you!!!

I mean, he isn't really the best at cooking or baking but he tries

because the smile you give him when he does something right is the bestest thing he's ever seen

and he would do anything to put a smile on your face

he just loves you so much ugh

he's the best boyfriend ever

I ship you with... Sirius Black!

you two actually already knew each other ever since you were kids because you lived in the same neighborhood as his family

so you always played together

and you were the absolute bestest friends ever

he would always go to your house and you would always go to his

so when you received your Hogwarts letters and oh boi

you were so excited to finally meet Hogwarts and see with your own curious eyes how marvelous it was

you always heard about Hogwarts from your parents and cousins and you couldn't wait to have your own memories there

you and Sirius bought your materials together

and he was always joking around with you

anywaYs

you sat together at the train and he introduced you to a boy he just met, James Potter, and you three talked for the whole ride

you got sorted into Ravenclaw and Sirius into Gryffindor

you both were a little sad about being in different houses and being 'apart' from each other

but you promised to keep talking to each other

and you did :D

you felt a little upset that he was spending more time with James than with you but you understood

I mean, they were from the same house and liked the same things, so it's natural for them to be friends right?

anyways

you still hang out with Sirius sometimes

but spent more time with you Ravenclaw friends

and he spent more time with the oh so famous Marauders, as his small group was called

you sometimes went on small dates

as FriEndS of course

at least that's what you always told yourselves bc you didn't want to feed that annoying tiny hope that your feelings for each other maybe were mutual

haha

in one of your "friends" date with him you were in the Three Broomsticks

and when you were ordering your butterbear, madam Rosmerta approached you two with a sweet smile and asked

"what will such a sweet couple want today?"

and you were like

*awkward small laughs*

you opened your mouth to deny it and say that you unfortunately were just friends but Sirius was faster than you

"we would like two butterbeers, please"

he replied with a polite smile as she nodded and left, wishing you two a lovely date

and you were like ???sirius what was that

and he would just shrug and give you a smirk

he didn't say anything about that anymore for the rest of the date

which made you feel so fUcking nervous and anxious bc???????? come on sirius is your best friend why would he say that you were a couple???

you definitely did not want to wait any longer bc omg

you just nEEDED answers

so before heading to your common rooms, you stopped him and he looked at you with a mix of curiosity and nervousness

"yes, love?" he asked when you called him and you felt your knees go weak

i mean, he always calls you by names like this, but it just felt different now

"why didn't you deny it when madam Rosmerta said we were a couple?"

you nervously asked, already feeling the butterflies tickle your stomach while you waited for his answer

"i don't know" he shrugged, though you could see a hint of hesitation in his eyes "maybe i want us to be a couple"

and he just lEft

and you were like ???????bRO

you quickly came back to normal and realised what had just happened

and you couldn't leave it like that, not after what he just said

so you just ran towards him, not caring about the weird stares from a few people there

and when you finally reached him

you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards you, pulling him into a kiss

he was surprised at first, of course, but returned the kiss, resting his hands on your waist and pulling you closer

you pulled away a few minutes later, gasping for air

"Kash, what was that?" he asked, eyes flicking from your now plump and swollen lips to your beautiful and warm brown eyes

"maybe i want it too" you replied before quickly running to your common room

a wide smile on both your faces

let's just say that yeah, you two were a couple now *wink*

taglist ♡

@afilmbypeterp @fific7 @iamak20 @msmimimerton @grierpilots @idontknowwhatthisisfam @imseeinggred @kashishwrites @tsuukichan @mischiefsemimanaged @just-a-dreamer23 @ryeryemilani @pillowjj @witchglow

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years

Note

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

#felix-bi-anon #asksteppie

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nikov · 4 years

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50 questions you’ve never been asked. — I was tagged by @dramiones ❤️❤️❤️ (thank you kelsey <33!!!)

what is the colour of your hairbrush? black

a food you never eat? oysters

are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? eating breakfast :)

what is your favourite candy bar? milky way

have you ever been to a professional sports event? nope

what is the last thing you said out loud? “it’s good”

what is your favourite ice cream? cookie dough!

what was the last thing you had to drink? water

do you like your wallet? yes! tho it’s a bit old

what was the last thing you ate? a bagel

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope

the last sporting event you watched? i don’t watch sports

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? mix of sweet / salty because I easily get bored of one taste

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend

ever go camping? not properly

do you take vitamins? no

do you go to church every sunday? no

do you have a tan? no

do you prefer chinese food or pizza? chinese food!

do you drink your soda with a straw? sometimes if the straw is already in it!

what colour socks do you usually wear? gray

do you ever drive above the speed limit? no I’m scared

what terrifies you? insects

look to your left, what do you see? my dad on his laptop

what chore do you hate? taking hair out of the drain (i have a thing against wet hair on surfaces alskdjfakl;sdjfl;a)

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? I think of how back in elementary ppl joked about how “rise up lights” rly fast sounds like “razor blades” in an “australian” accent

what’s your favourite soda? CC Lemon (basically soda lemonade)

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? we don’t really have drive-thru’s here so i normally go into the fast food place!

who’s the last person you talked to? my mom

favourite cut of beef? i don’t rly like beef except for in burgers

last song you listened to? jesus christ 2005 god bless america

last book you read? the gentlemen’s guide to vice and virtues

favourite day of the week? friday

can you say the alphabet backwards? very slowly

how do you like your coffee? I’m more of a tea person

favourite pair of shoes? sneakers

at what time do you normally go to bed? i’m going to be oddly specific just because this quarantine made me realise how unnecessarily demanding school was before. (before quarantine) school: 12, (during quarantine) school: 9PM. without school: 10PM

at what time do you normally get up? (before quarantine) school: 6AM, (during quarantine) school: 7:30AM. on normal days: 9AM.

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

how many blankets are on your bed? one

describe your kitchen plates. they’re all white with pink flowers on the side

do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? nope

do you play cards? sometimes during family gatherings

what colour is your car? a pearl colour(?)

can you change a tire? no

what is your favourite province? i don’t have one

favourite job you’ve ever had? haven’t had one

how did you get your biggest scar? I was playing tag in fifth grade and running at full speed and someone tagged/pushed me from behind and I skidded on concrete and tho my hands and knees got scarred everything healed except for a wound on my left knee

what did you do today that made someone else happy? it’s still the morning so nothing yet, but i’m going to call my friend later because he’s bored so maybe that counts :)

tagging: @omensgood @jaenmoreau @longbottoms @ohwarnette @sovnly

#tag games #thank you for the tag!! i loved these questions #<333

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venivivividi · 4 years

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50 QUESTIONS YOU’VE NEVER BEEN ASKED

tagged by @revengeisalwaysanoption

(sorry I changed the lower case aesthetic on the questions but it was bugging me out lol)

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? Black

2. A food you never eat? Just from a "I don't like it" point of view, almost every type of mushrooms and legumes, but there are a lot of things I can't eat bc my body is weak like that

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Well, during winter I'm too warm on public trasportation and too cold outside, during summer I'm almost chilly on public transportation and way too hot outside

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I was having lunch

5. What is your favorite candy bar? I'm really blanking on this bc I don't really eat a lot of sweet stuff, but I'd agree that Kinder Bueno was really really good

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? No, I have not

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? LMAO it was "Ci sono i fantasmi qui, huh?" ("It seems like we have ghosts in here") and it was a sarcastic remark bc one of my flatmates quickly sneaked in and out of the kitchen very quietly while I was doing the dishes without even say hello. I mean, that seems rude to me but maybe I'm wrong

8. What is your favorite ice cream? I'm a simple gal, I like chocolate, but I also like to pair it with mango, berries or passion fruit. Once I tried salted caramel and it was good.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? A boring glass of water

10. Do you like your wallet? I guess I do, it's cute

11. What was the last thing you ate? Now I regret doing this right now bc I have to publicly admit that the last thing I ate was.. a formaggino MIO. In my defense, I was still hungry after lunch and I had nothing else! (For those of you who do not know what a formaggino MIO is, it's a type of processed cream cheese very popular here as baby food. I'm pretty sure 98% of italian babies are actually raised on bread&formaggino and pasta&formaggino)

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I did not. Everything is closed, I have not left my home in forever and I'm not one for online shopping tbh

13. The last sporting event you watched? I think it was some sort of volleyball tournament last December, I'm not sure tho

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Just salted

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? @starkgazing

16. Ever go camping? No

17. Do you take vitamins? I try every now and then but I honestly forget easily

18. Do you go to church every sunday? No, never actually did

19. Do you have a tan? I have not seen the sun in so long I'm not even sure it's still there

20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza? This is actually hard because I like pizza but I cannot eat it, and when I tried chinese food it was sooo good and it didn't hurt my body the way pizza does lol

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? No, but I also very rarely drink soda

22. What color socks do you usually wear? I either go very classic (black, grey and white) or buy the most stupid ones in fucsia with a bear that says *hello*, there's no in between

23. Ever drive above the speed limit? I don't have a license but in general I get very anxious when I'm in a car with someone that drives fast

24. What terrifies you? What does NOT terrify me is the real question. The easy and not deep answer would be spiders

25. Look to your left, what do you see? My bread dough raising under two blankets and a rag

26. Wat chore do you hate? Cleaning the shower in particular but in general the fact that I have to climb over random things to clean half the house bc I'm too short to reach anything

27. What do you think of when you hear an australian accent? I like it! I don't really understand it sometimes, but I like it

28. What’s your favorite soda? I'm always confused by what is considered a soda, but I think that Schweppes lemon counts

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? I can ONLY eat seated at a table (and I don't have a car), so i definitely go in

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? My other flatmate (not the ghost one)

31. Favorite cut of beef? I just realised that I actually rarely eat beef if not minced; if we talk about bovine meat, I usually buy veal (the veal sirloin steak is one of the most delicious thing in the world)

32. Last song you listened to? Remedios la bella by Modena City Ramblers

33. Last book you read? I'm trying to read Doktor Živago (It's not going well), the last one I finished was 10 minutes 38 seconds in this strange world by Elif Shafak

34. Favorite day of the week? Probably Saturdays

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I tried. No.

36. Do you like your coffee? I was forced to buy a different brand bc I don't want to go to a supermarket far away where I usually buy my fair trade coffee; it's not terrible but it's not my usual strong south american/african/indian blend that is somehow called arabica

37. Favorite pair of shoes? I used to have a great pair of leather combat boots that sadly got destroyed rip

38. At what time do you normally go to bed? I try to be in bed by 11:30 pm and asleep by midnight but I'm not afraid to fall asleep while reading or watching a tv show at 10pm lol or even stay up until 3am

39. At what time do you normally get up? I trained myself to stay in bed until at least 8am now that I don't have anything to attend to in the mornings

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets

41. How many blankets are on your bed? Well, just one where I live now, but back at home in the mountains last winter I had two wool blankets and two duvets (and a fleece blanket ready on the side just in case)

42. Describe your kitchen plates. Boring white. My sister bought them and I'm very disappointed; luckily I have a small plate for dessert in this great shade of dark anthracite grey a friend of mine gifted me a while ago

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? I like red wine but if we're talking strong ones, I like tequila

44. Do you play cards? It's a holiday tradition with my family. Things can get scary, believe me

45. What color is your car? I don't have a car

46. Can you change a tire? Nope

47. What is your favorite province? I.. don't have one? (I'm not sure I understand the question tbh)

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? I loved working in the bio-preparation lab. I was not involved in the actual process but still I felt very badass operating the autoclave and all the other sterilizing machines and going around with a cart full of glassware

49. How did you get your biggest scar? An incadescent flatiron

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? I sent a stupid video on my family's groupchat, I hope I made someone happy at least lol my sister seemed amused

#personal #*#c'est moi

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rayonfrozenwings · 5 years

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a lil personal post to follow, TW:Miscarriage and crying because I’m sad today, I’ll put it below the cut. (not a poem even tho its formatted short and choppy)

It’s been 5 years since I lost you.

5 years and I still think of you.

I don’t know your hopes,

I don’t know your dreams,

I don’t know if you had curly hair or straight.

I don’t know if you were blue eyed or brown,

big or small.

I don’t know how your life would have been

I never got to hold you in my arms.

You were a bright spark.

A piece of hope after trying for so long.

You were excitement and butterflies

morning sickness and reflux.

You were surrounded by love from your dad and me

You were checked on and loved.

You were scanned once with a heartbeat

and smiles covered our faces.

On the day I lost you I didn't know what was happening

I was scared and terrified,

when I woke up with blood,

where no blood should be - not me.

I screamed, your dad came, we rang work on the way.

The doctor’s was closed - no-one needs a Dr at 6am

So we went to the hospital, to sit in a room.

Another scan and on this one we couldn’t see a heartbeat.

“Its ok, sometimes they are small,

sometimes its the scan,

sometimes it comes right,

we don’t know anything for certain,

we will give it a few days to come right.”

We went home, fear in our hearts.

A weekend of grief but being told not to grieve “yet”

to come back next week,

to wait for the bleeding to get worse - “some people bleed” they tell me “it doesn’t mean the worst”.

I want to cry - but what if they are fine,

what if my little miracle is fine.

I read the statistics,

I cry then... One in four seems too common for me to feel so alone.

We don’t tell our family what is happening,

we don’t want them to be sad too

if everything is fine

what an awful thing to put them through.

On Monday we have another scan,

“A better scan” they say.

My hope - still has no heartbeat

and we need to make a choice.

Now my baby wasn’t small,

We were about to tell the world

My baby of 11.5 weeks

would need to be removed.

I got clinical then,

I had to cope not grieve

Hospital appointments,

small rooms and suggestions

tasks to complete.

tears running down my cheeks,

that I couldn’t stop,

couldn’t contain,

didn’t want pity.

Your daddy’s arms around me,

as they tell us what to do.

we go home,

I take my drugs,

and plan for two days time

to be back to how I was

before your hope

was inside me.

We have to go on,

I stop working because I have to,

Your dad has to explain why he isn’t at work,

and we realise there are many stories that no-one has heard.

His boss lost two before they were born - another person had a still birth and another lost once born.

the children that no-one talks about.

the parents that cant talk about their loves lost.

This was my first,

my baby to be.

Who I would never hold or see

or get to be mum.

and the grief that came had only just begun.

they don’t tell you how much you will blame yourself.

they don’t tell you how common it is,

how it stays on your hearts shelf.

I’m not talking about other things - Don’t get my wrong,

this is my grief written down in its form.

For 5 years ago I was trying to cope,

and yet 5 years later I still feel all choked.

I have two precious kids who came after you,

your brother and sister and both are loved too.

I had fear in my heart for both of them,

but they made it.

and i’m grateful.

.... even if somedays they are a handful.

Its hard to explain how much fear I had,

That the bright shinny-ness from you could never be brought back.

Pregnancy isn’t easy, don’t let people fool you.

The life after is hard too, but I am still grateful.

please don’t take this as any political statement or bullshit like that. It is literally me grieving and writing it down. If you have been through this - you are not alone. Today I was reminded by an article my auntie is writing and its that time of year when everything went down - I don’t want to say anniversary. I don’t know the date because I never wanted to remember. I never saw my baby because it made it too real. But I’ve been pregnant 3 times. Had 3 very different pregnancies. We all have our own stories, not all are on the surface.

This experience has also made me easily triggered about some things...

I cry in books when someone even mentions miscarriage. The reason Asterin’s story hit me so hard is because it was around a similar time I read it as my own one occurred.

I get mad when people ask questions like “when are you having kids?”, “Why are you stopping at two?” Its none of your damn business. It’s my body. You don’t know what people have been through. I also get mad on other peoples behalf and go “why would you ask that?”

It’s really hard to stop yourself asking things that have been so ingrained into us and also to not make it “about us” when people share. But also, sharing lightens the load a little, just gotta find the right way to do that.

If you read this - you know a little more about me.

If I made u get emotional I’m sorry, I wanted to get it out.

<3 ily <3

#tw: miscarriage #might delete later #not sure #personal #delete later #incase that other tag doesnt work #seriously it has details of what happened even if snappy so if u want to avoid then totally do #its not a fluffy topic #and i believe in curating your own experience on here #made it private then talked to someone so now its off private again.... will prob go back to private

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hipsterfrankcastle · 5 years

Text

ok i got tagged in this TWICE by the lovely @carry-the-sky and @heidiamalia so let’s goooo

1. how tall are you? 5′8

2. what color and style is your hair?

Currently like a weird.... gingery brown vibe.... the style is what i like to call “poorly box died”. but im like an anime protagonist my hair has been a lot of dumb colours

3. what color are your eyes?

hazel

4. do you wear glasses?

yep!

5. do you wear braces?

not any more

6. what is your fashion style?

weird mix of incredibly formal workwear worn at casual occasions and like..... someone from an ivy park fashion shoot who can’t afford to buy actual ivy park. idk. athleisure shit. but mostly jeans and t-shirts these days seeing as i NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE

7. full name? not today, satan

8. when were you born? 1995

9. where are you from and where do you live now? i grew up in the southwest of england. still here....

10. what school do you go to?

uni of york

11. what kind of student are you?

oh man. i am the Most. v extra. i used to study too much.

12. do you like school? uh Hell Yeah. i like structure, organised fun, being surrounded by my pals. i try not to nostalgise it tho because there were times i was very very stressed out. why do we put so much pressure on teenagers?? good lord. uni sucked ass but i liked the actual study side of it (masters im coming for you!!)

13. what are your favourite school subjects?

english lit (shocking no one), philosophy and ethics, drama (even tho i sucked ass), history

14. favorite TV shows? too many. the hour and in the flesh are all time faves. i looooove us sitcoms i’ve watched the office maybe 13 times through. maybe more, actually. parks and rec, brooklyn 99, 30 rock (great news was such a severely underappreciated tina fey classic). fleabag. broadchurch, black mirror, the handmaid’s tale blehhhh i could go on for hours.

15. favorite movies? im just going to put 2 because otherwise we will be here for days. the darjeeling limited and joe wright’s pride and prejudice. oh wait. no and the new world. and days of heaven. can’t miss my boy malick off there.

16. favorite books? UHHH a little life (all time fave please read but maybe google some trigger warnings or ask me about it), my year of rest and relaxation, the english patient, the secret history (basic lol), stoner.... tHERE’S TOO MANY.

17. favorite pastime? i like walking my dogs. spending time with my dogs. taking photos of my dogs. other things that don’t include my dogs like watching movies (duh), writing, reading, recently gotten into film photography. im realising now this question didnt ask for a list oop moving on

18. do you have any regrets? yeah. my uni degree. quitting my job (one of those ones where you know it’s what was best for you at the time but now, looking back, it SUCKS). oh. yeah. deciding to lose two stone in the space of five minutes and developing an eating disorder and HAVING TO QUIT MY JOB. that’s a big one. not going to the editing lab with a guy the morning after we kissed. that one felt like a sliding doors situation.

19. dream job? baker. book editor. pro dog walker. im realising all of these are fairly achievable.

20. would you like to get married someday? nope nope nope!! well. maybe. if i find someone REALLY good.

21. would you like to have kids someday? hahahahahahahah no.

23. do you like shopping? yes but im trying to less because capitalism is a scourge and im trying to unlearn its various teachings including how our shopping habits make us feel/how the fashion industry affects body image. plus it’s terrible for the environment. shout out to my therapist for teaching me all this shit.

24. what countries have you visited? a lot of europe (holland germany belgium spain france poland scotland italy greece that’s not a lot actually), USA, australia, new zealand. i wanna hit california next cause ive been to new york twice now.

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? ermmmmm oh man. uhh. i have a lot of horrible nightmares bcos ---trauma lmao. cant think of one standout one.

26. do you have any enemies?

quentin tarantino. OH and this one girl on my film course at uni. she doesn’t know that we’re enemies. but we are.

27. do you have an s/o?

hahahahahhahahahah

28. do you believe in miracles? uh. no? dont think so. im not very spiritual, but i do believe sometimes that the universe sends you signs (even if really it’s just your brain trying to tell you something your subconscious is trying to tell you by interpreting the world around you a certain way)

thank you so much for the tags. i love talking about myself as you can tell. i think everyone i know has been tagged so. if you’re reading this. you’re tagged!

also if anyone ever has any questions about any details of my personal life. ask me. i will tell you anything. like i said. loooove talking about myself.

#personal #ask tag

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emperor-lover · 7 years

Note

Hello could you please write a minhyun fanfic about him and Y/N being on we got married (and later on starts dating irl?) thank you (ps, i love your minhyun scenarios so much)

omg WGM :o hahaha ngl i was never a big fan of WGM even though two members of one of my favourite groups have been on it, but i tried my best! i’ll write anything fluffy for minhyun lmao Sorry about the wait!

A continuation of this will be up next which is from another anon’s request!!

Hwang Minhyun WGM!AU

ok so lets give you a bit of background to set the scene

you’re an idol, but originally you were going to be an actress except you really liked dancing and singing so your company was like ‘why not both?’ (think female version of Ong)

You became a fixed MC on a music show last year so you’ve been able to meet a lot of people

Popularity-wise, you’re pretty well liked, you’ve never had any scandals or issues

Plus because you’re bi/multilingual so you’ve been able to further expand Hallyu internationally, and yknow everyone loves a bit of patriotism

So this is why you were extremely uncertain about being on WGM

It’s a show that puts you in the spotlight

and kinda tries to brand you with this false image, and if you don’t fit that image the public tend to be like wtf is wrong with you

WGM could be a make or break for the virtual couples who participated on the show

You had heard from other celebrities who had been on WGM about how strange it was, like just the whole concept of a “virtual” relationship wasn’t something you’d ever been too keen on

So you were skeptical and it didnt help that your company hadn’t given you much warning about being on it

They just said to be prepared for the invitation over the next week or so

So when the red mailbox appeared outside your dorm along with a bunch of MBC camera staff you realised they hadn’t been kidding

You had read the letter outloud for the cameras;

“To my soon-to-be virtual wife, our first meeting place will be at the xxxxxx Building tomorrow. Before we meet, I’ll give you a big clue as to who I am, I wonder if you’ll be able to guess! I’m in an idol group, and I’ve debuted twice…I look forward to meeting you~

You read the letter again, absorbing all the information….

“EH? Tomorrow??”

no wonder your manager had been awfully quiet when you had asked her about your schedule

Oh well, guess you gotta prepare for this virtual blind date

Tbh…now that you had accepted the fact that you had to go on this show, you were kinda excited

It’s literally so rare for you to ever get the chance to go on a proper date, even if this counted as a fake/virtual one

——next day—–

You hadn’t slept well the night before, in both fear and anticipation

Hopefully the person you were going to ‘marry’ would be nice

Because your partner was fully in charge of organising this first date, you had decided to prepare a gift for him

Which you found to be super difficult, seeing as you weren’t sure who they were but tbh you had narrowed it down to a couple of possibilities

Like in the pre-meet interview that morning they had asked you if you had any idea who the person could be and you had listed a few names of idols you knew had debuted twice, like mino, or sungwoon or minhyunnnn

but seeing as you knew he’s an idol you decided on little things you knew you found helpful being an idol yourself

You packed a neck pillow, a heat pack, and this really big woollen scarf you had knitted yourself (imagine it’s winter time pls)

Your manager drops you off outside the building and you hop out of the car in this big fluffy sweater and black jeans, completed bundled up and warm

The staff ushered you over to the elevator and you’re left awkwardly and nervously rambling to yourself as they press the buttons to every 2nd floor

The doors open to the second floor and a hotel staff pops their head in and gives you a bouquet of flowers with a note

“You’re here! Today’s the day we finally meet~”

You smiled to yourself, seems like this guy is a bit of a hopeless romantic

The doors to the fourth floor open and sitting on the ground is a little fox plushie doll

You pick it up and attached is another note that says,

“I’ve heard that I resemble a desert fox~”

You froze, no freaking way could it be….

On the sixth floor it was a jar of honey - “My voice is sweet like honey wahhh this is embarrassing >

Your eyes widened. There was no denying who it was now.

WGM had never done something like this before, usually people who went on the show had never previously met or had many interactions, but in your case it would be different

You had met Minhyun before, multiple times in fact

You had been good friends with Aron from NU’EST as well as other English speaking idols and had naturally gotten to know the other boys from NU’EST as well

And although you wouldn’t consider yourself best friends with Minhyun or anything, you had always been able to joke round with him

plus he’s a super cute and super nice guy that was always easy to talk to

Now that you think about it, it’s kinda even more terrifying now that you know who’s waiting for you and the fact you already know him as well??? and he doesnt have a clue who you are???? what if he’s disappointed??? like how awkward would that be, you’d actually die from embarrassment

Finally the doors to the 10th floor open and lo and behold Minhyun is standing there, with his back facing you

When he heard the door open he had immediately tensed up

He was nervous as hell too, poor thing

Like kinda kicking himself for being so cheesy with the whole elevator thing, but y’know, gotta make a strong first impression

He can hear your footsteps approach him and he fights the urge to turn round

The staff signal to you to say something and you become a big stuttering mess, like what are you meant to say???

“uHHhhHH Minhyun, IT’S ME, Y/N”

And he whizzes round so fking fast with his eyes popping out of his head literally everyone is laughing so hard

And he’s bright red because in the pre-interview they had asked him who he’d choose if any idol was able to go on wgm as his partner, and he had said Y/N, and he just assumed that you wouldn’t be on this show and didnt have his hopes up

so the fact you’re actually standing in front of him about to become his virtual wife is so strange but surreal to both of you

so of course, the two of you hit it off right away, seeing as you already know each other

After migrating to a cafe, you thanked him for the gifts and the elevator surprises and gave him the present you prepared

and he loves it so much, and he puts on the scarf you made straight away and is super proud of it

and you kinda just catch up on life with him, and find out how he’s doing in Wanna One

and that night after the filming was over, he sent you a text telling you how he was happy that you were his partner

and you spent the whole night just messaging cute little shy texts back and forth

After a few more days of filming, the first episode was finally broadcasted

And you were anxiously sitting by the tv with your group members trying to gage their reactions

it was embarrassing to see yourself become such a blushing mess in front of Minhyun

It was embarrassing for your friends too though, because no one is used to seeing you all shy like this

Funnily enough, Minhyun was the same in his dorm, and all the W1 boys were teasing him relentlessly

like collectively cringing at the notes he had left for you, and commenting on everything he did

And after the episode finishes, you’re a bit anxious of what the viewers think of it all

but luckily it turns out lots of people tuned in and love it

It seems to be a realistic fantasy(?) of people’s to go from friends to lovers

so with each following episode, the public laps up all the cuteness the two of you just naturally exude

Like they love how both of you were supposedly motae solo (single since birth), and that for both of you this would be the first ‘proper’ relationship

And minhyun has always had Boyfriend goals vibe attached to him

and you were top notch wife material too

You guys become known as the “Royal” couple

every one is like “충성충성” (choongseongchoongseong) I pledge my loyalty to you

So the first time you guys had proper skinship was super natural but cheesy as well

It was a filming by the Han River and you hadn’t worn gloves and it was getting pretty chilly

You had been rubbing your hands together to warm them up and it hadn’t been particularly obvious but Minhyun just reaches over and gently clasps your hand in his and puts it in his pocket

literally at that part though, everyone watching it had squealed

even you had been like omg bf goals

And bit later on when you had moved into the honeymoon house, the two of you would often rest your heads on the other’s shoulder and read books together

One of the most heart pounding days had been the wedding day, because although you knew it wasn’t a legit thing, something about Minhyun wearing a tuxedo and standing there waiting for you to walk towards him had made you feel things

And clearly you had the same effect on him, because he was absolutely speechless when he saw you

That night before heading back to the dorm, it seemed that the something had changed between the two of you

The hug Minhyun had given you had been longer, and gentler, if that was even possible

and he’d brushed the hair away from your face and whispered a string of sweet nothings into your ear before giving you a cute little wave and scampering over to get into his manager’s van

and you weren’t too sure what to think of it, because it’s not like the two of you are properly dating or anything

although it definitely feels like it

You go on lots more dates every week and each one was full of memories

Like you’d gone to movies, but you’d actually fallen asleep and Minhyun had just giggled

“Minhyun, you should’ve woken me up!”

“But you looked cute! i think you drooled tho”

And you’d gone tandem biking, and wandered round different museums, and you went to karaoke together, and Minhyun ended up serenading you with cute af songs

and there was a day that the two of you went shopping to look for gifts for each other, and you ended up getting matching phone charms

There was also the time where there was a special guest episode, where both of you had invited friends round and cooked dinner for them

And everything goes smoothly for the following couple of months, with your relationship only getting closer each day

Until one day a letter arrives, and it’s different from the others so both of you immediately know what it is

A week before the final episode, you started to distance yourself from Minhyun

mainly because both of you have been so shy about your true feelings, despite talking lots and becoming closer, you still have no clue if minhyun actually considers you to be more than a friend

and because you knew it was coming to an end, you’d have to say goodbye anyways so you were trying to let go without having to have your feelings hurt more than they would be

it didn’t feel right though, and Minhyun could tell something was wrong

so he had come up to you and put a hand on your arm just before the crew started filming the final episode to talk to you

“Y/N…are we…okay?”

You glanced up at him and you could see his eyes trying to decipher the expression on your face and as much as it pained for you to say it, you decided it would be the best to break ties now

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be, we’re friends aren’t we?”

And after you had said that, Minhyun’s face had fallen

Like he was upset that you appeared so nonchalant that the ‘marriage’ would be over and you’d revert back to being just friends

He dropped his hand that was on your arm and nodded, his face hardening and he turned to walk away

A few steps though, and he stopped turning back, eyes meeting yours

“I know this was a virtual marriage, but I was always sincere every moment I spent with you. I just thought I’d tell you that before we started filiming.”

And he walked off towards his waiting room, and left you standing there not too sure what to do anymore

During the filming, you struggled not to cry as Minhyun’s hand held yours

The movie theatre dimmed and started playing all the memories you’d made together

it was making you so emotional, and the sad piano BGM playing did not help at all

so you couldn’t stop the tears from falling when the video cut to a solo shot of Minhyun sending you a video message

“…This marriage may be coming to an end, but I will always treasure all the times and memories we made together…”

Covering a hand over your mouth, you tried not to sob out loud but it ended up sounding like you were having a coughing fit

Minhyun had been quite cold to you after the encounter earlier that day, and hadn’t been particularly affectionate at all, but when he looked over at you, his face went from expressionless to one of alarm when he noticed that your cheeks were stained with tears

he immediately reached over and gently dabbed the tears away with his sleeve and pulled you into his chest

“hey, hey, don’t cry Y/N, it’s alright, babe don’t cry, I’m here for you.”

and this only made you sniffle more

Minhyun’s hand was soothingly patting the back of your head and for a minute you both forgot about the cameras as he pulled back and gently pressed his lips to your forehead

and it was such a touching and emotional moment

until you hiccupped

and Minhyun broke out into laughter his own eyes shining back at you

and you couldn’t help but join in with him in the laughter

you left the set holding hands, still sad but not as emotional as before

and you realised that this would be the last chance for you to say something

“Minhyun?”

He glanced down at you his gaze softening at the sight of your puffy eyes

“This isn’t goodbye right? Just because we’re not on the show anymore doesn’t mean we can’t see each other right?”

Minhyun just kinda looks at you like you’re crazy

“Did you really think that I’d just go on this show with you, the girl that i actually truly like, just to never talk to you again now the show’s over?”

and you were like ?? blinking in confusion…because minhyun actually does like like you, and it’s not one sided like you assumed girl it was so obv tho

He kept talking, “I looked forward to the days when i’d get to see you to film, because spending time with you is like the most natural thing in the world to me. Look I even keep this photo we took in my wallet.”

He shows you a cute little photo of the two of you at the cafe you’d been to on the first date.

“So Y/N? Don’t worry, this won’t be goodbye, you can’t get rid of your virtual husband that easily,” he says shooting finger hearts and winks at you

So, legitimately dating Minhyun is obviously not as open and conspicuous as WGM, but it’s still super cute

and on your first anniversary the two of you go on a late night outing to the cafe where you had your first date

and you buy the same drinks you had on that day and just enjoy each others company, forever grateful that you have Minhyun in your life

I hit 100 followers the other day and I’m so so grateful, thank you to everyone who reads my random little writings, even though I’m definitely still lacking lots! I’m working on the current requests that were sent in, so please hold tight if you’re still waiting~ ❤️❤️

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sadsylphide · 4 years

Note

How are you finding your quarantine?

it started off really great tbh - i read so many books within the first 3 weeks, i was doing home workouts, online classes, the weather was rly nice so i basically lived in my garden. and then the toll of not being able to leave my house hit me, and my family started arguing and i failed one of my modules. then a family member died of covid :’( and i couldn’t go to the funeral (this is when i started using jigsaw puzzles as a coping mechanism... worked v well tbf lol). but I got sad again when i realised id be spending my bday in lockdown, and today i just feel shitty because ive been so unproductive nd idk what i want to do with my life after quarantine :/ also i feel old and like i’ll never be good enough. oh and some guy i used to know has been messaging me and that’s making me sad too. so im finding quarantine sad. i hope ur quarantine is ok tho <3

#we luv oversharing <33 #answered

0 notes

susebron · 7 years

Note

ohhhh. maybe... i don't know... all the numbers. yes let's go with all 100 of them

i sincerely hate you and these took forever to answer so you better read ‘em all!!!!!!!! but also thx bc some of these were v nice and fun to answer

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk bc i came for the cereal, not the milk

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? if i’m in a good mood, yes. if i’m in a bad mood…. not at all

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? reciepts usually but i very much prefer actual bookmarks; specifically those with a magnet

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? with honey or sugar and lots of milk

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? i sincerely feel confused about how to smile properly??? so i guess a bit. like i can’t smile on order. i did as a kid but if i did it that way now, ppl would Wonder

6: do you keep plants? i had a cactus a while ago called robert plant but he died. my mum is currently keeping some plants in my room tho and i decorated one with some plastic dinosaurs but they are definitely not my responsiblity. i mean, robert plant died

7: do you name your plants? if you read the sixth answer, you would know that yes i do

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing i guess. idk it’s usually Metaphorically my feelings but i do make attempts to keep a diary sometimes. it doesn’t go well for long

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? not really

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? i really really really like sleeping on my side. i’m currently forced to sleep on my back and i do not like it

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? if one shouts sir yes sir then the other one has to shout I CAN’T HEAR YOU PUSSY #tbt @13000ants

12: what’s your favorite planet? tatooine which makes no sense

13: what’s something that made you smile today? leif gw persson was on tv

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? there would be books everywhere

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! neutron stars can spin at a rate of 600 rotations per second

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? um. macaroni and cheese or pasta salad. NO WAIT milk-stewed macaroni

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? tbh i’m content with my hair colour

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. that one time i thought sydney was in asia #tbt @weeplittlelannister

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i do! idk i have one more diary-like, one with lists and drawings and shit… but also a calendar with is also somewhat a bullet journal

20: what’s your favorite eye color? what kind of q….. lmao oscar isaac’s

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my mum gave me aleather messenger box, like a post office bag or whatever and I Love It. it’s tbh never big enough to fit everything but it tries

22: are you a morning person? no

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? i was gonna say my grandfather but then i realised there is no way he wwon’t end up telling my grandmother ausifsafa. idk. my stuffed elephant

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? me and william once broke into this storage room where we live. he stole one of those long light bulbs and hit me in the head with it. it hurt

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? just normal chuck taylors. off-brand tho of course lmao

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint or y’know…. bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? both

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? i know this says friends but listen. when @sneutrinos talks about physics or physicists he admires… his eyes are like Glittering and it’s endearing as fuck. makes me want to listen (or watch lmao) him talk about it for hours

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. the best way to describe my socks and usage of them is that my nurse the other week when i was getting dressed to go home was like “oh! you’re wearing mismatched for rock the socks day (a day to uplift/celebrate down’s syndrome) and i was like “i guess….. but this is also just how i wear my socks” i very rarely end up having matching socks?? it just??? never happens even if i try

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. lmao idk if this was after 3am but i remember that one time me and @kkruel were ranting about his dorm neighbour showering at like midnight but literally just shrugged it off when the ceiling caved in saihfoasp

33: what’s your fave pastry? pastry is such a loose term though??? there is so much to choose from??? but i’m like really feeling muffins lately

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i had a bunch but let’s talk about the one stuffed dog i got when i was like six and is still like brand-new because i was terrified of ruining it so i just…. occasionally gave it a pet. nothing more

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i do, i do. i prefer certain pens, even if the ink’s only black, and i tend to use them more than pencils.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? nirvana unplugged would fit so much i had to go listen to it

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i like when it’s clean but i don’t mind if it’s messy… as long as it isn’t Messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves! flour

39: what color do you wear the most? um probably blue or black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? i honestly don’t really own any jewelry. i do have a watch that i use sometimes but it doesn’t really have a meaning other than that my mum bought it for me during one of our trips to uppsala. so i guess it does mean something after all lmao

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? i really loved nimona. it was hilarious and amazing

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! idk i really like espresso house because they have really good chocolate muffins but it’s always crowded and overpriced. wayne’s also has good muffins and are usually a bit cheaper, a bit less crowded

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i guess micah and his dad lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um probably last tuesday

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? i mean i guess?

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. my mind is BLANK

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? ticks. oh this said FOOD. um. mustard

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? i can only think of my trauma-based fears and they were usually about water and losing my parents??? i’m not sure i’d say either is the biggest fear now, but i still feel really uncomfortable in muddy water

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? p sure the last i bought was highlights from the original french production of les misérables

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? as a kid i used to collect popcorn boxes from the movies? i think i only have lotr ones left

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? i associate @conradsricamora with conrad’s cover of ain’t no sunshine

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? i like the meme about ted cruz as the zodiac killer but it’s not from this year. uh. i can’t think of a 2017 meme

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i’ve seen beetlejuice and pulp fiction and i love them both. one’s the perfect funny rainy october night movie and the other’s just… wow

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk someone on grey’s anatomy. mum’s been watching it a lot lately

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? gosh idk. i hope nothing too Dramatic

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? their love for their hobbies. like when someone is really intensively into something and it’s so Obvious. i love that

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it always makes me feel so good. and i mean… yeah…. who doesn’t…

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? um @itsjustaheartache is the wine mum and @caesarsbuddy is the vodka aunt because…. they just are

59: what’s your favorite myth? um anything to do with swedish trolls tbh

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? tbh i love poetry but i’m a bit picky with it. but i’ll read anything by richard siken

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? um my aunt once gave me a cp3o pen for christmas. like that was it. i think it was in the 1 dollar bin

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? no i don’t but if i have to, i prefer orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i really like them organized but i have so many books that i just.. give up a lot

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? it’s late so probably dark, dark blue. perhaps even black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? all my friends at this point lmao

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk… flowery

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? like it’s time to travel to middle earth

68: what’s winter like where you live? it’s either really cold and snowy or no snow and probably really rainy

69: what are your favorite board games? dnd or monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no and i fucking never will

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? rn it’s my pokémon tea that my dad’s gf got me

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? lmao i definitely need to write everything down which i’ve failed to do lately and i hate it

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. gay

75: tell us about your pets! one is satan but also the sweetest??? v interesting mix. she is honestly so good. and the other one is chunk in cat form. also p good

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? i’m trying to finish my assigned math tasks for today but ashfpsao god damn ebba made me answer all these 100 q’s

77: pink or yellow lemonade? neither? i’m not a big fan of lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? i haven’t seen the movies so i was neutral… and at this point i’m neutral evil about it. stop it

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? john boyega exists so that was a cute thing of his parents to do

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? blue at dad’s and like white/cream-ish at mum’s…. bc blue felt most neutral and the other one was already there, so

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. sea with a touch of caramel

82: are/were you good in school? lmao

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? um. tbh anything by led zeppelin

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i’d want some, sure, but i’m uncertain of what. probably something relating to ryan dunn at least

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? it’s been a while since i had time to but i really love captain america, sweet tooth and…. tbh i’m not picky???

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? i love them. esp if it’s by king diamond. if i have to choose one of his, it’s got to be them or abigail tbh

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the lord of the rings trilogy and the star wars original trilogy. also artifical intelligence

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? resistance

89: are you close to your parents? i mean yeah? in different ways but i’m close to both of them which is v nice

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. it is really neat with beautiful old buildings and lots of book shops. or at least a bunch of good book shops. also actual shops dedicated to comics or gaming. also a v nice tea shop

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? i’m hoping to move to a new city this autumn, so there’s that

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i don’t get cheese on pasta unless it’s mac and cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? a luke skywalker inspired ‘do

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? um some family friend on facebook

95: what are your plans for this weekend? um. study, probably

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? i procrastinate. def

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? infp, leo, hufflepuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i don’t remember when it was but i know that i did not enjoy it

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. anything by led zeppelin or stromae. a specific song though is the freshman by the verve pipe

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? no. no. you do not mess with time ok

#philipsunshea #tag: asks

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sleepwalkwith-me · 6 years

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rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Coffee

2. Phone call: a friend called me because she took the bus to my house but she didn’t really know where she had to go

3. Text message: i asked a friend what we would give this other friend for his birthday (surprise, we ended on money. how original amirite?!?!)

4. Song you listened to: mystery of love – sufjan stevens (did i cry listening to this??????? maybe)

5. Time you cried: oh. well. listening to mystery of love haha. i saw call me by your name two days ago and idk why but this song just HITS ME LIKE A TRUCK

__ Have you ever…

6. Dated someone twice: i have never actually dated anyone

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah mate no regrats

8. Been cheated on: like i said, have never dated anyone, so no.

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: not really, i haven’t been diagnosed or anything. but sometimes i feel like there’s definitely something up with that brain of mine.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes. 10/10 would not recommend.

— Fave colours

12. black

13. green

14. yellow

— In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yessss. i started a new study in a new city, so i met loads of new people. i’m lucky enough to call some of them very close friends already :)

16. Fallen out of love: Love?????? no. but this year i got over this big crush (iguess? a bit more than just a crush lol) that kinda dominated my life for a year or two.

17. Laughed until you cried: i don’t even remember what it was about but yesterdayme and my friend marijn were in the weirdest mood where everything was funny as heck

18. Found out someone was talking about you: no not really? i mean people probably do but who cares you know

19. Met someone who changed you: i wouldn’t say completely ‘changed’ me, but one of my new friends from university does make me a more WokeTM person so i think that counts as positive change right?

20. Found out who your friends are: not in a bad way, but i graduated high school this year, so now i realise that i don’t speak to a few of my old friends anymore and that they were just friends because i saw them everyday.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: yeh.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: All of them.

23. Do you have any pets: Noooo, i used to have cute lil bunnies but i have been pet-less for about 8 years i think :(

24. Do you want to change your name: nah. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have the dutch ‘ij’ in my name bc it’s had for non-dutch people to pronounce, but that also makes it cool i guess

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i had 2 exams on my birthday haha, so that was my main activity. But afterwards I went out for dinner and drinks with my friends which was very nice <3

26. What time did you wake up today: 6:30 and i DID NOT LIKE IT

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: downstairs, in my house, pouring myself a tea before going to bed. i came home from a symposium at 23:30 so i needed a little chill out time before i could go to bed

28. What is something you can’t wait for: lots of things!!! things that are happening in the near future, like going to the efteling (dutch themepark) with my friends in a few weeks, going out tomorrow, spending this weekend at my sisters house in amsterdam, or going to mallorca with mah gurlz this summer. But also i can’t wait for things like falling in love!! meeting people that will be in your life forever!!! moving to Utrecht!!!

30. What are you listening to right now: my mom and dad talking about books they are reading, and the radio (radio 4, classical music) is playing in the background

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: weirdly; no??? at first i was like yeah ofc everyone knows someone named tom but then i couldn’t think of anyone???? weird dude.

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: my own stupid ass bc there are a million things i should be doing rn but what am i doing????? filling in this tag bc i’m selfobsessed ha ha lol

33. Most visited website: tumblr or netflix i think

34. Hair colour: Blonde

35. Long or short hair: not like Really Long but it’s over my shoulders so idk

36. Do you have a crush on someone: i’m crushing 24/7 honey, whether it’s on a celebrity, or a cute guy from my class, or even someone that has been even the tiniest bit nice to me haha what’s wrong with me??? idk i love people man

37. What do you like about yourself: i’m always trying to see the good in people, which some people don’t really see as a positive thing and they tell me that it’s gonna get me screwed over or something but idk i think it’s a good thing

38. Want any piercings: atm i have 3 earrings in my left ear, 2 in my right, and also a helix piercing in my right ear. and boiiiiii do i want more! i really like earpiercings but idk which one to get next yet

39. Blood type: don’t know actually. is that weird? is that something i should know? oh well

40. Nicknames: depends on who i’m with, but a few are: karlit, karliño, karlinna, kar(rie), carlos, and heyitscarry (that’s my snapchat, everyone makes fun of me for it lol),

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: ~~*aquarius*~~

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: it’s usually the one i’m watching at the moment, but a few overall favs are brooklyn nine-nine, new girl, american horror story, teen wolf, queer eye (!!!), jane the virgin, shadowhunters (i know it’s shit but MALEC IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE RN), and oh my i could go on. idk, i just really love shows in general; good or ‘bad’, if they make me happy i’m instantly like ‘yup just found my new fav show!!!’

45. Tattoos: sadly, no

46. Right or left handed: righty

47: Ever had surgery: yeah once when i was little, i think i had something with my ear but i don’t even really know

48. Piercings: like i said, just my ears; 3 normal ones on the left, 2 normal ones + a helix on the right

49. Sport: not anymore whoops but i used to dance and do this weird sport called wheel gymnastics. look it up, it’s fun.

50. Vacation: what about it?? uhmmm upcoming ones are a 3 day trip to berlin with this huge student organisation in may, and a week in mallorca with my friends this summer.

51. Trainers: as in.. shoes? like.. sneakers?? idk, don’t own them. i usually wear converse in summer and my fake dr. martins or my heels in winter i guess haha

— More general

52. Eating: rn? nothing, just had dinner tho

53. Drinking: coffeeeee

54. I’m about to watch: the flash, 3x04

55. Waiting for: my deadlines and exams to be over so i can do nothing without feeling guilty

56. Want: ???? so many things?????

57. Get married: uhmmmmmmmmmmm not yet

58. Career: well i don’t have one if that’s what you’re asking. but i’m studying sociology so idk i hope to get a job where i can use my sociology-skills

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: both plz

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Shorter or taller: shorter

62. Older or younger: ?????

63. Nice arms or stomach: arms fuck me the fuck up

64. Hookup or relationships: depends???

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: i think a combination of both would be good

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: ya

67. Drank hard liquor: ya

68. Turned someone down: ya

69. Sex on first date: i’m a big ol’ virgin waddup

70: Broken someone’s heart: yes, sadly.

71. Had your heart broken: notreally

72. Been arrested: haha no

73. Cried when someone died: yes

74. Fallen for a friend: yessssssss

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: i go from yes! i am that bitch! to hell no who is this and what does she think she’s doing

76. Miracles: i mean, not in a religious way or anything. but i think it’s a cute way of naming small, nice, alsmost-impossible things that happen

77. Love at first sight: i think you can definitely FEEL that you are going to click with someone just by looking at them, but love? no.

78. Santa Claus: in the netherlands we have a slightly different holiday that we celebrate (don’t worry, we also have christmas) where there’s also a man that gives you presents and such. i don’t really remember but my mom always tells me that i very quickly didn’t buy the impossible things surrounding this Sinterklaas. i would always ask questions like; but HOW THE FUCK does he get to every child in ONE NIGHT??? (well maybe i didn’t ask it like that but.. you get it)

79. Angels: nah

— Misc

80. Eye colour: blue

81. Best friends name: Kim, vienna, femke, and estelle

82. Favourite movie: i don’t like ‘favourite’ questions bc i cannot choose man. it totally depends on what kind of movie we’re talking about??? like, i love movies like 17again and mean girls and high school musical? but i also loove movies like call me by your name??? and things like harry potter??? WHAT KIND ARE WE TALKING ABOUT

83. Favourite actor: again... favourite?? there are actors that i think are really talented, there are some that i just like as a person, there are some that i like just bc they play this character? the one that came to mind was dylan o’brien, bc i think beside his looks and nice personality he is an amazing actor (stiles! VOIDSTILES! Mitch rapp! Thomas! wauw what a guy)

84. Favourite cartoon: i don’t really watch cartoons i a m so r ry

85. Favourite teacher’s name: Meneer van Leeuwen. He was my philosophy teacher, but he also teaches physics and ANW (algemene natuurwetenschappen, was BESTE OOIT), and he was my mentor (not the right word sorry idk) for this big endproject that you have to do at the end of highschool in the netherlands). he was truly the BESt.

Thank you @foolishly-fond for tagging me! i’m always a slut for filling things in about myself l o l so i enjoyed doing this.

I don’t really know who i should tag, and 20 people is a LOT so youknow, consider yourself tagged if you feel like doing this :) x

#personal #me #mine #tag #@foolishly-fond

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spiritcc · 7 years

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Rock, paper, scissors.

Hohoho, if that ain’t one of the absolute best episodes of this series.

If the first episode only managed to leave an impression wobbling somewhere along the lines of “okay i guess?” for me the first time, this fucking episode blew me away so hard I decided to watch the series till the end, and no real or mystical forces would ever be able to stop me.

As always, these posts of mine are extremely spoiler infested not just episode, but the entire series-wise as everything is connected, so beware.

Let us drown in the feels and rough reality, and tear up just like Sholto here when the credits roll.

So, this episode is very dynamic and has nothing that could’ve been left out: every scene serves a purpose, every exchange carries a meaning, and that’s one of the reasons why it’s so fucking good.

Secondly, I personally think that the reason why whatever the characters face always hits you (or at least me) so hard is the fact that the series is so raw when it comes to discussing its themes. It comes down brutally and very casually too, and you can’t even question any of it. It is hard to see Watson, who’s always been a non-problematic this kind of barely noticeable dude across all adaptations, deal with all the shit he would actually had to face if everyone would actually bother and stick to his background. He’s been to war and believe me, he’d seen some fucked up shit. He’d seen his enemies treat them like animals, he’d seen his own brethren slowly sink to the level of the said enemies. He’s injured and that shit’s for life. He has to face the facts, just like Holmes stated in the first episode, that a third of all criminals are war veterans who came back into poverty and couldn’t settle down for a peaceful life after what they’ve been through. Watson has to face that fact quite literally in this episode, and see his battle friends, whom he’d saved and who have saved him, turn into piss poor inadequate slaughterers who lived like pigs and died like pigs. He has to face the fact that literally all of his former brethren are racists with some fucked up priorities, when they laughed in his face at the accusation of Sholto killing an Indian boy, but suddenly got very serious when he switched to killing his fighting friends. Sholto’s speech at the end is like the rawest fucking thing in this entire series, not even Trump is this brave to say such things out loud. Of course, Kavun wanted to make a stir with that scene on purpose, and honestly, let him do just that. Because we all know that’s what’s happening even to this day, the ideas Sholto expresses are far from being outdated. Modern media is too afraid of pointing it out so blatantly, shows would never ever actually go and blatantly spell out every reason why a character is racist. And yet here it is - so incredibly fucking raw, literally no filter, and it’s striking. This speech is striking, Watson’s reality that makes 100% sense is striking - all of that hits hard, and I feel it way too closely.

Anyway, here’s Holmes not approving of blood.

Great fucking morning everybody :/

Now that I think about it, the entire case could’ve never happened to Holmes if all those people were from a different regiment. The fact that all of them happened to be Watson’s former mates is a very lucky, although quite unfortunate, coincidence.

The face of a man who went from some shit.

That was the first scene where I realised that they’re approaching the issues quite bluntly, such intentional lack of any filter is...quite refreshing for a Holmes show, to be honest. We all know the stories are a bunch of shite ACD used to pull out of his ass, many adaptations prefer to seal themselves in the same bubble, so here we go. Welcome to this show and to the real atrocities of war.

Okay, are we going to talk about this episode and the canon story’s parallels? I’ve got one already and boy things do not look well for Watson here.

Why did you make this girl into you wife in the Sign of Four and killed her off two stories later?

Why was it necessary to write this girl in as a grown woman and a romantic interest for your own OC? Why did you decide it was a good idea to marry her in this story? Why did you do all of this, Watson?

There’s a whole new type of doctor you got to visit.

Now, Sholto. This is actually scary how much I enjoy this guy. He’s very easily comparable to Trump, a literal charismatic piece of garbage. You know very well he’s a complete apeass, but he’s way too charming to hate him. I don’t know how much of the last part of that sentence applies to Trump, but it sure does to Sholto.

Like he is literally a magnificent bastard and I can’t do anything with it, I cannot stop looking at the guy. This is really bad that I like him, isn’t it. That’s how this whole racism tolerance goes, doesn’t it, you see a charming leader and you’re ready to accept anything he says and does. If that was the intention, then yikes, that is pretty scary how true to life this is.

Now, let’s talk about him and the plot overall. You know, Moriarty and his cabman persona, obviously he’s been preparing the entire thing for a while at that moment. As the last episode goes, it’s not hard to guess that he’s still living the dream of shitting on the queen: fuck up her peace talks, let her lose the Indian colonies, throw the jewels into the open market for various political reasons, do all of that via a bunch of savage ex-soldiers, and therefore make it all very unsuspicious and even kinda ironic in a sense. That is a pretty clear plan to me, quite complicated, but hey, it’s Moriarty we’re talking about, plus yeah, when you’re conspiring on such high levels, simple solutions never do, and he knows that. That is pretty fucking clever that he used Sholto as his minion, and that’s pretty much no big convincing speeches needed for both of them in order to work together. Moriarty needs to fuck up all of queen’s Indian plans. Sholto loathes the idea of Indians coming into his homeland. Moriarty needs expendable force to bring his plan into action. Sholto is willing to work for his questionable dream over the bodies of his friends and is very quick to discard them as casualties. Moriarty probably doesn’t need anyone to stick their nose in his actual plans further than required. Sholto only cares about migrants and is happy to fight against the Indians under any proposition. A literal match made in heaven. Too bad for Moriarty that Sholto didn’t think that far, and one soldier brawl crushed all his plans in the span of ten minutes.

Sholto’s not very secretive either way, not only his speeches, but the way he acts speaks volumes about the dude barely trying. It would’ve been quite easy for Watson to figure things out for himself, there are a few of little details here and there, so yeah, not surprised.

Watson’s face when Sholto was hitting on Mrs. Hudson tho

The bro code means nothing to you, bitch?

Now, of course this series is not perfect, and of the things that never fails to ruin it for me is the motherfucking Irene Adler, who was portrayed in the exactly the same pissy way as many adaptations do nowadays: some sort of evil minion and love interest for Holmes that also serves the narrative and nothing else. When I realised this is where it’s heading to, I whaled.

Literally me whenever she pops up

At least this time she wasn’t completely useless, she did give us some ugly exposition that will ruin the entirety of the seventh episode later, but she was crucial to the plot today, she stole the photograph. Serving the narrative, I know, but I’d rather enjoy everyone being important to the plot than suffer through some very awkward attempts at romance.

Can we talk a little about how scenes are staged, like when Mycroft is talking about this whole prince business? The camera cannot focus on his face, so it does a little scene between Holmes and Lestrade instead while the exposition flows. You listen to a some sort of messy political story and watch a dude wondering where to throw his match out, fantastic.

Now, fucking Moriarty and his constant misadventures.

This is beyond hilarious even though he would’ve totally expected that to happen. Still minding his business to an extent when the police grabs and beats the shit out of him and forces him into a fake testimony. When Holmes points it out, he’s getting his ass kicked out for good measure. Besides that, he spent fuck knows how long chilling with the cabmen living like a roach driving peeps around and landing in all sort of unexpected mess like in the first episode.

Give Rob a lil break, he works hard for his blue shades and vintage cigars.

The river action scene, by the way, even that managed to be more dynamic than whatever was described in the actual book. Whatever doubts about Sholto there were are all cleared up here, the man not only urges Watson to kill his former friends, but even kind of laughs in the background watching that happen. Then Sholto stops Gregson with his stick in like pretty much the exact manner as he would’ve stabbed Small, Holmes elaborates on the wound and yeah, very easy to make some conclusions from there.

At least he did raise his hands up and almost drowned

Holmes’ deduction scene is cool as always, but am I the only one who got the bait? Like literally everything Holmes said could’ve been very easily applied to Watson, and the camera kept jumping back and forth from Holmes to very suspicious Watson. That was intentional.

Also, give poor man a break, he’s going insane.

Again, Sholto’s speech, I’m still not done talking. This speech is scary because how true it is and the idea behind it. It’s still happening, there are LOADS of people out there who can wholeheartedly agree with everything Sholto says, these could be thoughts that have crossed your own mind at least once in your life. And that’s scary because it’s true. People are willing to turn ugly because they’re so scared of letting others in. That is so not old it’s literally happening right now. No questionable villain motivation, no weird quirks or else - these are crimes you’ve literally seen occur, because of reasons you’re all too familiar with. And this show spells it very clearly, raw, as it is. This is scary, how ugly and raw racism is in reality. It’s scary what some are willing to do for their ideas. It’s scary that usually these people are not some unlikable creeps, but powerful charismatic men. It’s scary because it is literally what it was in reality back then, and because it’s still reality now.

Quite hard to tumblr about this speech without getting seriously misunderstood, but I do love it nonetheless.

Now, the original story parallels. It is pretty clear that Watson writes his bullshit inspired by “real life” events, so to say, that happen in this series. So maybe I’m digging way into this, but let’s remember how things looked in the Sign of Four: three Sholtos involved, a dad and his twin sons, Moran dad and Moran daughter, Small guy that had and hadn’t had a point at the same time. Let’s explore the fact that the story features three Sholtos, and two of them are literally identical twins, but one is a totally non-problematic good and honorable guy and the other one is questionable at best, and the dad is a literal asshole. All assholes die pretty quickly into the story, and the good Sholto is the one that makes it through and remains a cool guy till the end.

What you think, Watson knew a great man, a captain that has saved his life on many occasions, his friend and maybe even a role model. He then meets some racist fucker that not only has no mercy for innocent people of different skin color, but who is also willing to murder his brethren for his extremely questionable ideas. Really does feel like these two personalities cannot be one man, does it? As if that dark side of Sholto is a completely different entity, a completely different person from the one Watson knew? What do you think of that, Watson projecting his disbelief by splitting Sholto into three people and getting rid of the worst two almost right at the beginning. Watson had the power of immortalising Sholto’s image in literature any way he liked. Watson knew the truth about the real man behind that name. And yet, he chose to write him into one of the most popular books ever as a kind, honest and brave man that had outlived all of his greedy and shitty counterparts and deserved some peace at the end of the story.

Here’s your daily dose of heartbreak, I rest my case.

Rock, paper, scissors - means nothing at the beginning of the episode, but makes you tear up at the end. There was indeed a lot of pain related to this game.

#new russian sherlock holmes #marathon notes #rock paper scissors

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