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atxxzist · 2 months

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sweetest lies | c.s (03)

prev // series m.list

pairing: choi san x f!reader

word count: 7.7k

warning: none but lmk

you didn't want to go home because you knew that you'd have to face your sister.

look her in the eyes and see those very lips that yunho kissed and those hands that he probably held on more than one occasions, the wound still too fresh that it all still hurts.

but you didn't think you'd run smack into her before you could even pass the entrance, stopping in your steps immediately with surprised eyes similar to hers, the both of you swallowing down the same time as the air turn an awkward one.

you're about to just walk past her, the day from work leaving you tired and not in the mood for another long conversation about the topic, when your sister musters up the courage to let out a soft, "can we please talk?"

the tone aggravating you more than anything; how she can still sound so sweet and worried after what she's put you through.

you huff and merely roll your eyes, absolutely refusing to look at her although you know it's silly and petty--you being the older one but holding a grudge like no other, so much more less mature than her.

"i don't know what else is there to talk about," you respond, trying your very best to sound annoyed.

but she continues to make you feel worse with an even sweeter tone, "i'm sorry. i really am." and you can already picture the pearls in her eyes and pout on her lips despite still facing the other way.

"i know you like yunho. i do. but..." he's too handsome and charming; too sweet and kind that she also can't help but fall for him. she would never intend to steal him from you if he didn't return the sentiment.

"but he likes you too," you finish for her, something shifting in you that makes you finally look her in the eyes. "i get it. what am i gonna do? you're two grown consenting adults so i'll get over it."

you didn't even think such words could ever come out your mouth, but for the first time sounding surprisingly selfless because maybe talking to san did helped out a little.

there's a silence after that you're sure has marked the end of the topic, striving a step forward when her voice stops you again.

"we're planning on telling mom and dad and yunho's parents over dinner..." she says, delivery timid like she's just the slightest scared of your reaction.

you gulp down the knot, mumbling a dry, "good luck with that." and sliding past her.

you start seeing how truly mundane your life is once the person it used to revolve around is no longer there.

how, it’s a continuous cycle of work and coming home to a big empty house most days and watching reruns of shows until you’re bored out of your mind.

which is how you wind up at a co-worker’s house party, the young woman from the office next to you going by the name of dahyun kindly asking after a conversation with your boss about the paperworks regarding the transfer.

she joined the firm a few months after you but you’ve always known her to be outgoing and a people’s person, recalling the girl’s familiarity with everyone from the floor her second week of work.

it wasn’t like you had anything better to do, so you accepted the invitation and saved the following day for a night of fun, or at least you hoped so.

dahyun had said it’s just gonna be a regular house party; none of that crazy frat bullshit with the chance of someone under 20 attending, so it’s just gonna be chill and relaxing.

fives minutes into your arrival and it’s not too bad but you already find yourself hiding in a corner despite recognizing a few faces from the same working floor.

“if you’re gonna be here, you should at least try and have some fun.”

the familiar sounding voice from behind makes you quirk a brow, barely looking over your shoulder to see, probably the least expected person standing with amusement in his expression.

“seonghwa?” you say in disbelief, your body naturally following your curiosity to stand before him. “the fuck you doing here?”

“attending the party, isn’t that obvious?” he quips, continuing to close the gap before stopping with just enough space.

you scoff and roll your eyes, the sight bringing a smirk onto seonghwa’s lips.

“shut up. you know what i mean.”

“dahyun’s a friend,” he says casually, the answer making you squint.

“seriously? hongjoong and now you?” the complaint rolling off like it’s seonghwa’s fault. you can only cross your arms and sulk.

you can’t even recall the last time you actually saw seonghwa. it must’ve been your graduation or one last coincidental meeting… you don’t remember. it’s been that long.

“yeah, cause you have better things to do?” he pokes fun at the very obvious fact you came alone. “where’s that jeong boy? you know, the one that always got you on a leash.”

between hongjoong and seonghwa, seonghwa’s always been the more calm and level-headed of the two; being the voice of reason when you and hongjoong would lose it.

but on the occasion when he’d just let it go and be snarky, seonghwa could really pull a nerve.

“is that all people associate me with?” you have the audacity to click your tongue in annoyance and scoff like you didn’t do it to yourself.

seonghwa snickers.

“oh i’m sorry. it was just my most recent memory of you,” he says cheekily. voice calm but you know there’s hidden animosity underneath.

he never explicitly said whose side he took, but it was obvious from how he treated you the same as hongjoong did. it only made sense because they’ve known each other before you even came along.

you never fault him, knowing it mostly had to do with your own fuck-ups.

“hmm,” you hum, tone setting into the same sarcastic and dry one he has. “well, it’s nice catching up and all but i don't feel like reminiscing the past, so if you’ll excuse me.”

because you can admit your wrongdoings and also be both embarrassed about it, attempting to brush past him when his speaking voice stops you in track.

“hey, i was just trying to find something to talk about after all these years,” he says, half chuckling and staring at you from the opposite side now that you’ve managed to make it past him.

you snicker lowly.

“what?” you quirk a corner of your lips, continuing with amusement in your voice, “then you’re gonna say sorry? or expect me to?”

he shrugs.

"that's your choice."

but his body language now shifting, that playful look no longer in his eyes or tone, it's almost scary how fast it happened.

the next few seconds is a silent stare off, the only sound is the party music in the background and the slight beating of your heart at the ominous delivery.

"i'm not asking for an apology or whatever. frankly, it wasn't even my problem, but i'm just saying... your life would be a lot easier if you know how to say sorry for once."

seonghwa thinks you have too much pride; the same thing you believe to be keeping you intact is gonna be your ultimate downfall because even when you're clearly wrong or you know you're wrong, you never say it.

you're one to keep it bubbled inside and carry the guilt just because you think you should be unbreakable at all times. it's such an unrealistic standard you've set for yourself.

you raise a brow at that, tilting your head in confusion.

"i know how to say sorry," you tell him sternly, attempting to convince him as much as you are to yourself.

“i’m uhm… i’m sorry,” you utter lowly, sounding and appearing ashamed by the way your fingers fiddle with each other at your front, san almost can’t believe it.

“pardon?”

“i’m sorry, about this morning.”

it's beyond comprehension how san must've been the first person you've genuinely apologized to after going so many years of the word kept to yourself.

it must've been the absolute humiliation and loneliness that day that really got to you, breaking you down until you were so vulnerable with nothing but the choice to fold in front of the one person you felt you could still confide in.

san being that person is also beyond what you can explain.

but seonghwa only merely puffs and crosses his arms.

"i just think it would be great if we could be friends again one day," he says, the ominous dropping and voice turning soft and reminiscing again that it makes your eyes go wide before you see a smile turn up on his lips.

"if you ever want to reach out to me or hongjoong again, you know how to find us."

he leaves his last words of the night opened and vague, disappearing off with one last smile before he's out of your sight, leaving you with much to think about--just exactly as he intended.

there's only so much excuses to make or places to be after work just because you don't want to be there for dinner, knowing it's the day both yunho and your sister are gonna tell your parents and his the good news.

know that they're all gonna react with surprise and be so happy for them, erupting in cheers and congratulatory words that the two children they've been rooting for the longest time has finally gotten together.

there really isn't a lot, that you just sucked it up and stayed the few extra hours overtime to make up for all the instances you've slacked off, even starting on work saved for the following day, hoping it's long enough to just miss the dinner.

and just enough it is, you return right as the table's just about to be cleared, the chitters and chatters around loud enough to drown the opening and shutting of the front door with yunho the only one catching your presence standing in the hall.

"they were really happy, yeah..." he says awkwardly, standing before you in the cold chilly air of the backyard.

you really didn't want to talk about it anymore, the subject like beating a dead horse at this point. but yunho had approached you so cautiously and calmly, something genuine in his action that you couldn't say no when he asked to talk for one last time.

"hmm," you merely hum, really not made for comforting or encouraging. most of the anger already dissipated although the hurt's still there, you can't bring yourself to not feel even the slightest happy for him, even if the smallest percentage because you saw the biggest smile ever on him back at dinner.

you contemplate on what to say because yes, you're still hurt and feeling betrayed, but it's not like you can hold it over his head forever. he isn't some stranger you can easily avoid.

he's yunho and you're just gonna have to get over it; not just for his sake but also for yours just so you can feel a little more at peace and move on.

"i'm sorry," he suddenly let out, your head snapping from the ground and to his guilt-ridden eyes.

because though he still stands by what he said, not a single word a lie, the few days apart also allowed him to think outside of the box--especially from your perspective.

how selfish he really was from the start, playing along when he was being dishonest the entire time, and how much pain he could've saved everyone if he hadn't been such a coward.

if he hadn't wanted the best of both worlds and knew he would lose you in some way if you found out how he actually feels.

you have to blink a few times, feeling like a lost puppy under yunho's apologetic gaze because you honestly believe that in comparison, you have so much more to be sorry for.

and as if he could read your mind; your expression speaking for itself because you have a certain look of bafflement or aloofness whenever you feel guilty.

you won't ever say outright that you're wrong, but your body language always gave it out.

it was one of the very first traits he picked up from being around you, having seen it for himself at the starting age of twelve when you pushed a much younger san to his injury and cried--not because you got yelled at by your parents but because you felt bad.

and how distracted you were at the movies the entire time after your fight with hongjoong because you confessed to yunho a few days later that you were being a shitty friend.

you have such a way of dealing with your emotions, he wishes for there to be an outlet for you to deal with them in a healthy and accepting manner.

one that doesn't depend on him or anything else for all the wrong reasons.

"i'm sorry," he says again, eyes now softer but still sincere. "i know i already said this last time but i really got carried away and couldn't finish. but i truly am sorry. i should've told you sooner. i should've never given you any sort of false hope, and i should've just been honest from the start."

he's sure he's out of breath when he finishes, just waiting for you to now say something in return because despite all the ups and downs and shortcomings, you're the one who's been with him through most of his lowest points and he's so grateful for that.

he wouldn't want to lose you over this.

you stay quiet for a few seconds more, a mental battle in your head just so you'll be able to form something coherent when you do speak.

"we both just weren't right for each other," you say, pausing briefly, "in that way... at least."

because yunho hid things from you and you were so in your head you were convinced he was in love with you at one point, always looking at everything through a rose-coloured glass but now able to see for yourself once it cracked, just how destined it was to fail from the start.

"sorry," he mumbles, low and head still hanging in shame, you can't help the dry chuckle that falls from your lips.

"you don't have to keep telling me you're sorry. like what i told minjeong: i'll get over it."

he picks his head up from the more cheery tone, the smallest smile forming on your lips that takes him by surprise because of the illusion it gives off; that you were able to come to terms with it so fast, but he knows you and knows it's all just a facade.

nonetheless, he nods, gulping silently to pass a comment.

"i hope you're taking care of yourself."

you smile, turning your back on him and crossing your arms to stare up into the stars in the nightsky who's currently the witness to the end of your 'relationship' with the boy you've loved your whole life.

"i've considered transferring work. it's not set in stone yet, but i did talked to my boss and he said he'd help me look for an opening if i'm interested."

you think it will be good if you can seek your own independence for once, unable to think of a better time than this one.

and though you can't see yunho, you can tell he's intrigued by how his question squeaks slightly when asking.

"where would you be transferring?"

"japan," you answer, once again facing him. "it's different, but close enough where i don't have to feel like i'm halfway across the world. my boss said i have about two months-ish to make up my mind."

plus, japanese is the only other language you're fluent in. the country a similar but new enough experience and the true testimony to how you'll be, away from the grasp of your parents.

"i see," yunho replies, nodding in understanding; so much to say but at the same time unable to say anything. he wouldn't ever want to hear someone he's close to plans on moving away, but he's almost proud of you for taking that next step.

"feel free to call me up any time if you need help," he adds, a soft smile gracing his features that makes the moment so bittersweet. you wish you have the guts to hate yunho, but you really can't after all he's done for you.

you nod lightly, at the same time allowing yourself to enjoy the breeze and calm silence before letting all your guards down.

"yunho..." you call his name almost timidly, the boy responding that immediate second.

"i'm not asking for an apology or whatever. frankly, it wasn't even my problem, but i'm just saying… your life would be a lot easier if you know how to say sorry for once."

"i'm sorry," you finally tell him, to wide and surprised eyes--unsurprisingly.

"i'm sorry for putting so much pressure and baggage on you. i also should've asked about your feelings from the very beginning. i shouldn't have just... assumed."

yunho knows it's the sincerest form of apology without the need to say a lot. from the nervous timbre to the guilt in your eyes, and even the way you start fiddling with your fingers.

he only snickers, much to your initial mixed reaction until you start warming up to it as well, the low but very real giggle leaving you putting a smile on yunho's face.

"apology accepted," he says.

you allow another giggle before cutting it short and looking at him through your blinking lashes.

"if you guys have went to this extent, then i hope you'll treat her right, jeong yunho."

you leave the night at that, a sting in your chest but you know that soon enough, you'll be relieved of it and you won't even think about him anymore.

it's after sitting down for a few minutes that you get a text from san, the funny coincidence that you were just talking about the transfer with your boss as well.

san: yunho told me

san: it's true you're gonna be leaving for japan?

you honestly can't recall how san even got your number. it must've been something you did drunkenly or he must've asked for it from yunho. but for sure, you did not give it to him willingly.

y/n: he really be snitching, huh

san: so it's true ☹️

you roll your eyes and try preventing even the smallest smirk. you haven't seen the man ever since that day and now is when he decides to reach out again.

y/n: maybe 🤷

san: 😔

san: just when we were starting to get along too

y/n: lol. you'll be fine.

shaking your head, you put your phone down to return to work, thinking to yourself there's no way san's actually serious because you're sure even if you did move halfway across the world, he would barely notice you're gone.

ten minutes of silence from your phone and you're also sure he's given up on the act--when your notification buzzes again.

san: ☹️ thought you weren't gonna run away

y/n: i'm not

y/n: i just want to do something different

san: if you say so

san: you free this evening?

y/n: i get off work in about 3 hours

san: wanna do something? 🙂

y/n: well aren't you a changed man 🙃

san: i thought it was nice the other day and i just figured you might need a distraction

you have to admit the fact you were taken aback a little; in a surprisingly good and touching way that san would care about you so much as to consider the after effect of what have happened.

y/n: if you're up for it 🤷 not like i have anything better after work

san: awesome! i'll see you then 😉

it's not everyday that you go waltzing into a guy's place; if at all, actually, because you've ever only graced the presence of the house next door because unlike san, yunho never had the urge to get his own place or be away from the watchful eyes of his parents.

it only takes two knocks in total for the door to come apart with san standing before it, a smile on his face and every body language welcoming.

"that was fast," you comment, walking past him to get inside.

"i was waiting," he says, calm and relaxed. "you took a lot longer than you said you would."

you shrug and plop yourself down on the couch, head snapping his way to reply.

"i had to get out of my work outfit."

he acknowledges it with a nod before seating himself next to you, his phone sitting on the coffee table in front of you gone unnoticed until you see him pick it up.

"what to order?" he scrolls through the delivery app, the same time you quirk a brow.

"stew sounds really good right now," you say.

"soft tofu stew?"

"that's fine. but make it spicy."

you weren't sure what you guys were gonna be doing once you came over, but he had just said to hang out and you thought any form of entertainment was better than none.

"any drinks?" he asks, after placing the order and getting up to walk over to the fridge.

"got any sodas?"

"i got some coke."

"that'll do."

he returns with two bottles, setting it on the table with a smirk stickered on his face, you have to reframe from rolling your eyes.

"what? no alcohol tonight?" he teases, his back falling onto the couch with hands behind his head.

"not in the mood," you reply, straight and simple.

"fair enough," he mumbles.

you let your eyes wander for a few more seconds before asking, "so, what's the plan?"

he gets up to sit straight and look you in the eyes.

"i was thinking a movie, video games, or we can just talk over food."

you hum with straighten lips, nodding and making yourself at home when it's your turn to fall back on the couch.

"anything's fine," you tell him, patting at the material under you and adding, "great couch by the way."

"yeah. it cost a fortune."

"good thing that wasn't a problem," you jab lightheartedly, because you always have wondered what the hell san does all day, besides the very obvious fact that he lives off the wealth of his parents and doesn't have to worry about anything when it comes to money... at least.

"i know what you're thinking," he says, not reactive of any kind.

"no but seriously, what do you do all day?" you ask, genuinely curious and interested this time.

he just quirks his lips, responding in the most lax tone, "enjoying life and doing what anyone in their 20s would?"

you scoff and shake your head.

you really do wish to be as untroubled and carefree as san is. the way he deals with and confronts everything as if there isn't a single thing to lose.

“it definitely bothered me at first, but i didn’t see why i should be losing sleep over it. me and yunho are two very different people after all who does our own things. i’m proud of what he’s achieved so far, and he’s always had my back when needed.”

you almost can't help but to have the tiniest respect for him in that regard.

"good to know." you giggle. "but what's the plan after?"

"working on it. but not really in the hurry to rush it or anything."

you nod courtly at that, another sinking thought about how similar, yet different the two of you really are.

growing up, you've never really paid much attention to san, always writing him off as annoying and obnoxious, but when left with no choice but to face him on a deeper level, you can't help but to notice the stark differences despite relating to him more than yunho.

"and you... are you really moving? like forreal?" he says, tone a soft worried that you almost want to believe he would be sad about you leaving... being this adamant and all.

"yeah," you answer, the disappointment befalling his expression completely flying over your radar. "forreal."

"but why?" he pushes.

you shrug, everything about you relaxed--as opposed to the boy standing across as he tries to digest the very big possibility of you going away, and most likely for a long time.

"i told you i wanted to travel."

"that's moving to a whole different country," he states the obvious, much to a laughter from you as the uneasiness on him only becomes more transparent.

you laugh some more, going on to say, "don't tell me you're actually gonna be sad?" your lips forming a frown after to tease him, and for the very first time, you think san might've blushed a little.

he opens his mouth as you watch curiously, but the moment shortly disrupted by the sound of san's phone going off.

"delivery will be here in 10 minutes," he tells you still holding the device in his hand before he tosses it aside.

"i also just want to try being on my own for a while," you bring the topic back into discussion when it seems like he isn't gonna answer the question.

you add, "if i do get moved, it will be on my own accord and everything will be from my own pockets... not my parents or anyone else. boss said i have about two months and i most likely will have to train the replacement but i think it's all gonna be worth it."

you're unable to read into san's reaction, silence filling the air until he finally speaks again.

"if you want to learn to be on your own, why don't you just get a place first? you know, instead of moving across the country. as someone in the current position, it's pretty nice if i say so myself."

your lips draw into a thin line, not because he's wrong but because you've never actually thought of that. you pretty much did just jumped ship into the next big step.

"i've uh... i didn't think of that," you mumble, the words cracking a smile on san's face before a snicker rolls out.

"jesus, y/n. a bit dramatic aren't you?"

"shut up," you hiss.

as the night goes on, any doubts and worries are long forgotten when the chatters with san would go on even after the food's arrival, both chewing and talking at the same time like you're never gonna run out of topics.

the eating soon turns into a search for something to watch while the two of you squabble about anything and everything, forgetting what the hell you're even fighting him about and being surprised you could even get this worked up without the help of alcohol.

and after you're both finally worn out from the long night; the foods on the coffee table now empty and dry and the tv running for far too long, you help clean the place up when it seems he's fallen asleep and quietly make your way out of the condo shortly after.

tuesday 4:32 p.m.

san: how about this one? looks really nice and is kind of close to my place 🙂

san: *attachment*

y/n: that looks way too fancy and expensive

y/n: i just want something that's enough for one person

it's impressive; the fact san even entertained the idea of leaving everything you've already got in mind to settle for something else, but even more so that you're even considering it.

getting a place of your own and learning to live on yourself would be a lot more doable than moving across the sea and away from everyone and everything you've grown up with.

you suppose it's not a bad idea. you're just not sure if it's the right one.

san: you're not gonna find anything if you're gonna be this picky 🙄

y/n: i'm just looking

y/n: if i'm really gonna stay, i'd do the search myself

san: 😢

you don't even realize how san starts weaving into your daily life and just integrating himself into it; whether through small, mindless texts, or bigger ones like actually inviting you out or over to his place (more frequently, at least).

wednesday 1:20 p.m.

san: what time do you finish work today

y/n: i always finish at 6

san: wanna come over? i got a game we can play 🙂

y/n: it better not that stupid truth or dare

san: ☹️

san: it's not

san: it's truth or dare spin the bottle

y/n: 🥱

san won't admit how fast he came at the sound of the first knock, and you also won't admit that despite him looking very much the same, there's something different about him lately.

something you can't pinpoint but it's almost as if he's gotten more attractive somehow even though you've never really cared about any of that.

"did you wear that to work?" he comments on your outfit as you make way past him and settling inside.

"yes," you answer dryly, tone soon overturning. "what? you think i was gonna get pretty?" you smirk.

he shrugs, mumbling a "maybe" that you quietly let pass to take off your shoes.

"wanna see a few places i've looked up?" he beams, going over to the laptop that was on the kitchen counter and running over to you on the couch with it.

"why not," you mumble, scooting closer, shoulder bumping into his nonchalantly.

you watch him scroll through the abundance of luxurious condos alike his, opting to raise your brow and turn to him.

"why are they all high-profile and in gangnam?" you question.

"pfft," he scoffs, facing you head on, standing the closest he's ever been to you in a long while and remarking, "it's not like you can't afford it. come on, y/n."

"i can't." you move away from him. "if i even get a place, it's gonna be with my own savings, not my parents. i definitely can't afford a place like these. can we please look at something a little less flashy?"

he shakes his head and eventually changes the area, but an hour into the search and you're still not satisfied. the prices are either not doable or the layouts and amenities aren't to your heart's content.

"let's continue this another day," you sigh out, throwing your head back and groaning as san chuckles.

"fine," he gives in, shutting the laptop and moving it out of sight. "you're so picky."

"well you got to be. i'm sure you didn't pick this place out in a day," you say at the same time you look around.

on your own, there's no way you'd ever be able to get anything like this.

"and you don't think it's nice?"

"are you kidding?" you say in disbelief. "it's amazing. if i had the money, it might as well be my dream place. but it's okay. i can also settle for much less as long as it accommodates all my needs."

san can't help but laugh, because he thinks you're both the snazziest person he's ever met, but also the most tame, it's a bit uncharacteristic of someone who grew up wealthy all her life.

"fair enough," he says, standing up abruptly to go grab at an empty beer bottle also on the counter which you're sure he most likely prepared for, given his next set of words.

"how about spin the bottle but no dares. we can only ask questions and the person has to answer truthfully." he places it on the coffee table.

you snap to him at that with something uneasy in your eyes, prompting a comment from him.

"you scared?" he tease.

"what? no," you blow.

"then what are we waiting for?" san doesn't hesitate with one of his hands already on the bottle but you have to stop him in the process to ask one more question.

"what kind of questions though?"

it takes him maybe a second for a light smirk to crawl out of him and with a shrug, telling you, "any."

you eye the bottle on the table anxiously as it circles and clinks; not afraid of the idea of the game but more so that you're playing with san and he's gonna ask the wildest shit.

fortunately, san shoots himself in the foot.

"oh fuck, it's me."

it's your turn to smirk, letting out an almost sarcastic, "yeah."

"knock yourself out. i'm an open book."

you roll your eyes because you know he is, which is why trying to come up with something that will even faze him is gonna be a challenge.

"most embarrassing thing you have done at a party?"

he scoffs it off in amusement, like he can't believe you're even asking that.

"i thought you could do worse, y/n. but sure."

he hesitates and hums for a few seconds more before answering, "got high as fuck and almost kissed wooyoung."

a dry snicker actually escapes from your lips at the confession.

"yeah i always suspected you guys had a thing for each other."

"please don't," he says in pure disgust. "i love wooyoung forreal but no amount of high can get me to kiss the man."

you laugh, now actually the one to initiate the spin because you think it can turn out fun. you think.

and thankfully, it's not you that have to answer a question, again.

"wow," san only silently curses the double misfortunate.

"how many people have you slept with?" you blurt, bold and straightforward, san even slightly taken aback.

"don't ask questions that will break your heart."

"tsk." you roll your eyes. "you could sleep with the entire population of earth and i wouldn't give a shit."

"not even the tiniest bit?" he plays on in that voice you hate because it's always when he's trying to flirt with you.

"i'd give the tiniest shit about everyone else because poor them."

"sharp," he retracts, the amusement all over his face. "but to answer your question, maybe eight? ten? to be honest, i've lost count."

"good to know," you reply nonchalantly, nodding for him to spin the bottle this time, but you know it's only so long before your luck eventually runs out, and so it does.

"ha," he says in victory, the top of the bottle pointing at you.

"i'll go easy, don't worry just yet," he teases annoyingly, you almost want to knock your foot into his.

"what did you think of me when we first met?"

you quirk your lips and pretend to think although you already know the answer.

"well, i thought you were gonna be sweet, but that was until i got to actually know you. then you were just annoying and a pervert."

he bursts out in genuine laughter and yeah, you think he's cute and endearing like this but 95% of the time, he's getting on your nerves.

the game continues on with a back and forth of innocent enough questions; just laughing and scoffing off the ridiculousness, and you're starting to think he might spare you, until the next one turns your eyes a dark one.

"what is it about yunho that made you like him so much?"

and again, you've already stated so many times why you like him. his kindness. his attitude. the way he presents himself. the way he treats you. but if you have to pick one.

"it just seems as if he accepted me for who i am. i don't know."

the way the atmosphere shifts is scary; both of the smiles on your lips wiped and replaced by unreadable expressions as san quiets without a reply, you have to be the one to speak again.

"and you... w-why are you helping me?" you ask him.

"huh?" he repeats just so there's no mistake.

"we don't even like each other and i pretty much treat you like shit but you still seem rather concerned about my wellbeing for whatever reason."

it has gotten so silent by now, you can hear san swallowing.

"you're the one who always says you don't like me. i never said i don't like you."

it's your turn to swallow, staring back at him with nervous eyes because you're not sure how to take the statement just now or what exactly he really means.

"i just thought the feeling was mutual," you mumble, shrugging lightly.

"no. i think you just didn't care enough to ask me," he says with a dry chuckle because he's right and even you know it. your mind at the time too occupied with his brother instead.

"so like, you really don't want me to leave?" you take the opportunity to tease him, a tone on you almost unrecognizable that you think even made san a bit nervous and shy.

"you could say that," he talks lowly, on the verge of stuttering. "i've known you almost my whole life."

"and if i did?" you ask, voice turning a more serious one as the words make an etch in san's heart. it hurts to even think of the possibility.

"then i would be really upset."

you watch his eyes and lips go soft, something so genuine and sincere in his response that makes you just freeze up before breaking the tension with a forced snicker.

"you still have some time to change my mind," you encourage, because you wish for there to be bigger reasons to stay so you won't regret the could of, even if san has to be that reason.

some might call it healing, some might call it a rebound if that even applies at all, but san successfully weaves himself into your life like a routine that you're no longer fazed by a morning text or even a goodnight one.

the way he'd just check up on you during work or call during the weekends to ask how you're doing and if you're up for something together.

it's a bit pathetic he's pretty much your only friend (and even that's a reach) at this point, but you genuinely enjoy his company.

he listens well, is fun to be around, and is almost like a life-long friend who's been missing your whole life.

but while those are the ups of being with san, there's also the downs--such as the long list of girls that'd constantly ring his phone or send him a text while the two of you are together, and while that isn't any of your business, that doesn't stop the few doubts that manages to plague your mind.

are you interrupting anything? does it make you a bitch for hanging with him when he has other girls lined up? does all of this even mean anything when you could very much just be one of them?

that maybe even if there's a possibility, you could never fully give and commit yourself to someone like san because it doesn't seem like he's ready to settle for anyone.

he haven't ever had a relationship that lasted more than a few months and you haven't ever known him to have less than two option on the table.

which might be why you were so much more attracted to yunho, because in comparison, yunho seemed like he would give away his heart and soul for just you.

but you know that, though. you knew that's how san is. you shouldn't have expected anything else, but you still can't help but to feel a strange, unfamiliar sense of loathing when he's distracted by another girl.

"i talked to the landlord a few days ago and she said if i wanted to see the apartment for myself, she would be more than happy to show me," you tell san over a late night eat out; the restaurant about to close in an hour but you're sure he's not listening because his head snaps to the text he got just now.

he still attempts to sound like it's the current topic holding his attention, which you have to give him credits for.

"that's good," he shortly says, fingers fast to type something on his phone before pushing it away. "so how many more days left again?"

"about two weeks, give or take," you respond, poking at your fries with the fork.

two weeks before you'll have to make the ultimate choice to leave or stay.

it's been that long, time just flying before your very eyes to the point where yunho's presence lingering around the house for the sole purpose of your sister almost no longer does an effect to you.

"wow. already?"

"yeah."

san offers to pay for the meal and drive you home instead of the usual catching a movie at his place before the actual end of the night and it's not like you're gonna fight him on it.

he's not your boyfriend and he definitely doesn't have any obligations to follow through any routines or whatever, so why are you all of a sudden feeling so tense about it?

tense and bitter about the fact that after he drives you home, there's a likely chance there's gonna be another girl at his place.

you think you're losing it.

you had let yourself indulge more and more into the possibility of staying, which was how you found the place that you could practically call ideal.

though it's only one bedroom, the modern but warm-toned style of the complex as a whole, as well as the location and pretty much everything else is convenient and accommodates all your needs.

when you had finally set a time and meeting with the landlord, you fell in love even harder in person because the second she opened the door to the place, it was like you knew this is it.

you think it can work out. you think you can see a future in this place; in this city still. and you have been much brighter and happier lately, even telling your boss the following day that there's a big chance you're gonna change your mind about the move given time is creeping up.

you had sent a text to san so excited because you want to tell him in person, every day the chance of you actually staying increasing by the second and he had told you he'd be available tomorrow night.

despite the conflicts swirling in your stomach a week ago, san had made up for it by being attentive as usual and making you feel like he really cares about you that the occasional rings and texts not from you were starting to become bearable.

after all, what does he owe you?

you're content with just having someone to talk and share your day with. you think you can live with that.

but you didn't expect nor think that all it'd take for the doubts to settle in again is to actually face the reality of your situation, making your way to san's place as promised and seeing a familiar face on the way in.

long hair and with a frame you've definitely seen before, it's hard to ignore the sensation she manages to conjure by just merely passing you.

“why don’t you ask the one person that would actually know where he is? or are you too good for that, too?”

you squint, confused, until he nods his head another direction and you follow, landing right into the view of the kitchen and to someone you know all too well just from the back.

his hands on some poor girl’s waist and lips running along with hers as her grip tightened at his disheveled hair, his body pressing her forward onto the counter, the both of them making out like there won’t be a tomorrow.

“no thanks,” you dismiss, managing to reframe from an eyeroll, pushing past hongjoong but not before you catch the smirk on him.

it wasn't the first time you saw her with san, because if it was, your body wouldn't have recognized her so easily as if she's a threat, replacing all the excitement and hope with nothing but old and plain insecurities.

then it's as if everything was a mistake.

choosing to stay because of san and with nothing but the hope that it will all work out... instead of going away on your own for some time and learning to really be independent.

your whole life, you've already been nothing but emotionally dependent on someone else, looking to them as a source of support, and you've realized that this time, it isn't any different.

you've just moved from yunho to san... and you didn't even like san for the longest time.

so how long before it will hit you that staying was a mistake; and especially that choosing to stay because of san was gonna be the biggest one of them all.

you have the tendency to catch feelings way too fast, and even if not romantic which you won't admit in this case (even if it might be), you react strongly to it and the feeling is consuming.

because how long before san will leave you the way yunho did?

everything may seem good for now but they will all meet the same ending. and to think of everything in perspective this way, you know you're not meant to stay.

your parents, yunho and your sister, san...

you don't feel ready for any of them currently, your life stuck at a point where you're not moving. and so you just turn back around and head home.

you think long and hard just to be sure this is what you want; then you think of how to tell your boss tomorrow, and about an hour later, you finally get a text from san.

san: you still coming? you said you have something to tell me

y/n: something came up sorry

y/n: i was just gonna tell you that i've made up my mind and i think i'm gonna go to japan

a/n: i am truly sorry for having been gone a while only to come back with crumbs, but i hope y'all enjoyed this mess & will anticipate it finally coming to an end the following chapter <3 lmk if i missed anyone on the taglist cuz i have not touched it in 4ever fr

taglist: @freeandrealme @shingene @cookiechristie @softie00 @crimson-mia @hexheathen @lixpixstix @atinytease @turtash @moonseonghwa @kkayfan @curryramyeon @justineasian @sannie-pudding @itsokaytobedumb00 @nerdy-kimchi @fannyxmh @acciocriativity @mel-the-mad-hatter @eastleighsblog @diorwoo @devilsmatches @kyume02 @distvrbia @wonwowzers @endeav0rsb1tch @sannwa @brown88 @sangiluvem @eburneon @hotteokhatyu @yeosangsbiceps @sankatchu @lynnsqueendom @harusoraa @ad0rechuu @interweab @revehosh @byunniebaekhyunnie @nabi-sannie @gugggu6gvai @rockstarsanie @shakalakaboomboo @yeosangsbbg @yawnzshit @avantalem @lelaleleb @mountiiny @arinyyy @svintsandghosts @yoongiworshiper @raineadlr @tunaasan @chickenscoups @nevieatiny

#y'all don't even know #the demons i fought #just to get 7k out of my ass #y/n got serious issues #but i hope y'all will still enjoy the drama #ateez angst #san x reader #choi san x reader #ateez x reader #ateez series #yunho x reader #fic: sweetestlies

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megu-meow · 2 months

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when a fire starts to burn - sukuna

sukuna x fem. reader (reader is Nanami's sister)

Part 2 of my Hockey Player Sukuna Series - Part 1

Lmk if you would like me to create a taglist! :D

Sukuna finds himself looking forward to Sunday. He suddenly considers texting you non-stop not enough. He wants to see you in person. He wants to see with his own eyes how you react to his flirtatious comments, he often wonders if they make you blush. He is convinced that they do, considering that sometimes you react with unintelligible keyboard slams. He loves it, but seeing it in person would be hundred times better.

He considers himself enchanted by you. He finds it undoubtedly easy to talk to you, he loves telling you about his day and he certainly enjoys hearing about yours. He loves how passionate you are about your job, how excited you get about office gossip, and how you never hesitate to text him whenever the smallest thing happens to you throughout the day. The hardest part is hiding the fact that he is talking to you constantly from his Captain, your brother.

"Sweetheart, when is Bambi coming?" he hears Nanami's wife, Sophia question from the kitchen while Sukuna is sitting on the couch in the living room, and his ears perk up once he hears that adorable nickname of yours being mentioned.

"She's not coming here. We're meeting at the cafe." Nanami responds as he leaves their bedroom.

"Why is that? I haven't seen her in a while, I wanted to give her the souvenir I got her from Thailand."

"She's tired and irritated, she said she wants to hear about your travels when she's in a better mood."

Sukuna's grin widens. He knows why you're tired. He knows why you're irritated. The two of you stayed up texting until 5 in the morning and your conversation ended with him calling your cat stupid, which offended you deeply. The thing is, Sukuna is severely allergic to cats so he couldn't comprehend the cuteness of your cat even after receiving ten pictures of the sleeping feline from you. And you couldn't accept him calling your child stupid either. Nonetheless, he was displeased that you were not seeing him today in person. What's worse is that they're leaving tomorrow for a road trip which is scheduled to last at least a week, if not more. He doesn't really understand why he has these feelings after two weeks of knowing you, he usually wouldn't care about something so insignificant, but he figures that you were an enigma enough to entertain these thoughts running around in his mind about you. Once Nanami leaves the house, Sukuna retreats to his momentary room and starts packing his bag for the upcoming road trip. He has gained a lot of fans after the amazing debut he had with the team and now there's a lot of pressure on him to live up to the expectations. If everything goes right, he should get a raise in a couple of months, after the regular season is over and he will be able to get his own place after that. Despite enjoying how his current situation gives him more opportunities to see you in person, Sukuna hates leeching on others, so he cannot wait to get himself out of your brother's apartment.

While you're out with your brother, you cannot stop thinking about the pink-haired player currently living with Nanami. You really wanted to see him today, but you didn't want to cause suspicions with Kento and Sophia. Those two were incredibly good at figuring out when you have a crush on someone. This is not the case here with Sukuna - or at least you try to convince yourself about that. Regardless, you're being cautious.

However, your plan is thrown out the window by Sukuna himself, as he walks into the cafe and sits down at your table. Both Nanami and you glare at him in disbelief. He ignores your confused expressions as the waiter approaches and he orders the same thing he did two weeks ago.

"What are you doing here, Sukuna?" Kento questions, clear irritation in his tone.

"I told you this before, I'm extremely superstitious. The last time we had a game on Sunday and I joined you guys for brunch, I scored five goals, may I remind you. So I decided, to include this in my game-day routine." he explains, while gesturing to the situation at hand. His eyes jump in between you and Nanami as he tries to figure out how you feel about his bluntness. "And you, Captain, cannot say anything against this, because tonight, I'm gonna win the game for us."

Nanami is speechless, while the pink-haired guy grins, his enjoyment evident. He is having too much fun with the current situation, in your opinion. Kento looks at you expectantly, he doesn't really have a say in this matter. You were the one to decide that Sunday Brunch was just for the two of you.

You started chewing the inside of your mouth nervously. Sukuna trapped you into a corner: hockey players - or professional athletes in general - were peculiar about their routines. You heard of the most unhinged pre-game routines over the years, you were aware of how much goes into the mental preparation for games. You couldn't possibly sabotage Sukuna's career with the Wizards just because you want to be selfish about the time you spend with your brother. However, this is a really bad idea. You know why the pink-haired idiot is doing this: he wants to spend time with you. But this is a dangerous game, one that your brother would surely not approve of. Sukuna is secretive. He's arrogant and full of himself. He challenges you and is constantly on a mission to irritate you. That's why you don't understand why the next words leave your mouth.

"Sure, everything for the team right?"

Sukuna grins widely, as he crosses his muscular, tatted arms in front of his chest and leans back in his chair. His dark eyes are glimmering with joy as he looks at you, winking sneakily.

"Okay, Bambi. But..." he sighs deeply "If your performance falters, Sukuna, this ends right away."

"Understood!" he agrees, saluting your brother jokingly.

That Sunday, Sukuna scores a hat trick and gets an assist. It seems like he is determined not to screw up this unique opportunity to spend meaningful time with you every fricking Sunday. After the game, Akane, Senna, and Sophia convince you to go out with them and the team as they're celebrating the goaltender's birthday. You agree, despite knowing that you are gonna regret this decision in the morning. You often join the team for these kinds of occasions considering you have a good relationship with every one of them. You're having a good time, chasing around coach Yaga's kid, who has an unmistakable bump on his forehead. He probably ran into a table or something earlier, but it doesn't stop him from running around like a maniac. Once you catch him and pick him up, you are determined to deliver him back to his mother, who is to your frustration, talking to Sukuna.

"How are your brothers? Aren't they missing you now that they're far away from you?" you don't want to listen to their conversation, but you can't really help it as you hear the question being asked.

"They're gonna be alright. It's Yuji's draft year so he was about to move away soon anyway. And Choso is Choso, he's gonna go wherever Yuji goes."

Sukuna spots you and grins, he cannot help but think that you look incredible, even with the child clinging to your side.

"Special delivery!" you exclaim as you give the child back to his mother. The toddler's energy has faltered significantly and his mother looks at you gratefully for tiring him out. She says goodbye to you, leaving you alone with Sukuna.

"You have brothers?" you ask curiously.

"It's not nice to listen to someone's conversation, you know, sweet pea?!"

"I - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"Don't worry your pretty little head, I don't really care honestly." he teases "Yeah, I do have brothers. Two, to be exact."

"Are you close?"

"Yeah. They're brats tho."

"Figured."

"You wound me, y/n. I'll let you know, I am the best brother ever."

"I doubt that."

"Well, I would be the best boyfriend for sure, there would be not doubt about that one." he adds, winking at you, mischief evident in his features. You can't help the blush appearing on your face and Sukuna relishes the feeling of pride that takes over him. He was right, it is 100 times better now that he can see your reactions.

"You're such a flirt, Sukuna."

"Only for you, y/n. I hope you know that."

"Yeah? Prove it."

"Well, how about you let me take you out on a date once I'm back from our road trip?" you knew he was a straightforward guy, but he never expected him to be this blunt. His eyes scan your face rapidly for any kind of reaction, you get that feeling again, that he can read your thoughts just by looking at you. You misjudged him. You thought this guy was a master of hiding his feelings, but this time around, his eyes are sparkling with hope. He doesn't seem worried or scared of rejection, which is slightly irritating, but what did you expect from a guy with a big ego like his?! "I don't have all day, y/n!" he frowns, and despite his words seeming harsh, they come out as more nervous than demanding. You have him under a spell that he cannot understand just yet, he feels the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he impatiently waits for your answer. Suddenly, you smile brightly and Sukuna's worries are forgotten just like that.

"Okay. I'll let you take me out on a date."

Sukuna is beaming with happiness, but unfortunately, it doesn't last too long. On their way to Kyoto, Kento sits beside him on the bus.

"What do you want from my sister?" he asks, his demeanor completely different from the usual.

"What?"

"You heard me! First, you get yourself invited to brunch. Then, you're openly flirting with her at Panda's party. So, tell me what you want from my sister!"

Sukuna swallows hard, his Adam's apple jumping visibly. He has to play his cards right, otherwise he will have to forget about your date. He is perceptive enough to know, that you would never go out with him if your brother didn't approve of it. He knew from day one that he had to get Kento's blessing. He considered doing the cliche things that happen in movies and books, hiding it from him and letting the whole thing explode in his face, but Sukuna has a stronger sense of justice and fairness than to betray the person who took him in like that.

"I asked her out on a date. I don't think I have to tell you, but your sister is gorgeous, intelligent, and absolutely amazing. I plan to treat her with respect, I don't want to hurt her feelings. I will not tell anyone on the team about this, you know that I do not participate in locker-room talk and I don't plan on changing that. I would like to take her out to a nice restaurant and have a great conversation with her. Those are my intentions for now."

"For now?"

"Well, I don't want to get ahead of myself. I won't say that I would like that date to be followed by a second one, because there's no guarantee that's something she would enjoy. I do believe she is special, but whatever this leads to, she will be the one to set the pace. I would never rush any woman into anything, especially not someone like y/n."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Well, I knew since December that your sister is the kind of person you meet once in a lifetime, guess I had a hunch. And my hunch was right. She deserves the world. And if she gives me a chance, that's exactly what I would like to give."

"What do you mean you knew since December? You barely moved here four weeks ago and it's April. You guys met two weeks ago."

"I spotted her at one of our games. I guessed she traveled with you guys for the Family Game."

"She did. Are you implying you had eyes for her for five months just to get my approval? Or is any of this true?" Kento questions with furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm fucking offended that you would think of me so lowly that I would come up with an elaborate lie like this just to get into your sister's pants. Believe me, if that was the case, I wouldn't care a single bit about your approval." Sukuna explains.

Kento sighs, deeply. He lived with Sukuna for four weeks. The guy is insanely chill, despite his odd looks. He literally goes to practice, works out, and plays video games. He never hears him talking about anyone, especially not women, with disrespect. Hell, he never mentioned any woman before. He's been brutally honest with everyone and he's been nothing but gallant. However, Nanami knows what hockey players are like. He also heard rumors about the pink-haired prodigy from his old teammates. Thus his hesitation.

"Give me a few days. By the time we get back home, I will have your answer."

Sukuna nods understandingly. This is going to be the longest road trip of his entire life.

Part 3

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna fluff #sukuna ryomen #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #sukuna #sukuna imagine #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x you #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagines #Ren Writes - Sukuna ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

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kenmakodz · 3 months

Text

CANDID LOVE ˙✧˖📷

11. i'll see you in court ☆

writing in-between cuts!

hugs are exchanged, and many many "i missed you"'s are exchanged. nobara's hands are shaky as she reaches out to her girlfriend, whom she hasn't seen for quite a few months. while they hug and whisper amongst themselves, yuuji envelopes you into a hug of your own, practically bouncing up and down. his words are jumbled and fast, for someone who doesn't know him, it'd be impossible to keep up. "we missed you so much and i know it hasn't been that long but for us it's felt like forever and we never realized how much we needed you back there and movie nights aren't the same without you and and-" a hand reaches up to his mouth, effectively silencing him. "relax, yuuji. i know you missed me." you smile, softening your words always seems to do the trick when he's bouncing off the walls like that. he gives you another quick hug before backing away, taking a short glance at yuuta before doing so.

... why did he look at me like that?

a small wave and a smile is exchanged between you and megumi, he's never really been one for hugs... or affection by any means.

after eventually wrapping up the dragged out greetings, nobara announces that she will 'drop dead' if she doesn't get something to eat immediately, so you're all headed to the dining hall as your first stop. you will periodically sneak glances at yuuta, who has his hands in his pockets and is seemingly glued to the side of toge. you wished he would walk next to you, give you any attention at all, but you're just friends. you aren't entitled to him. at least, that's the conclusion your brain has come to at this point. instead of your black-haired boy, yuuji is by your side rambling about all the different stops they took on the way here, and how nobara insisted on buying snacks at every single one. this conversation continues at the lunch table, which turns into the two of them pointing fingers at eachother back and forth, and megumi ready to put his head in his hands out of embarrassment.

you laugh, and it almost feels bittersweet for a split second. this feels so comfortable, something you've struggled to feel ever since moving here. of course, you couldn't have found a better group to surround yourself with; you're eternally grateful to your new friends for taking you in. but, nothing will beat the pure happiness that comes with being around the people who know you best. the ones who have seen you at your highest, your lowest, your... weirdest.. (we don't talk about mario kart nights). you may have made amazing friends at your home away from home, but these are your friends, your people. yuuta notices your demeanor, and his anxious gaze softens when he realizes what you're doing.

how can i be acting like this when she's so happy?

hands are placed on your shoulders, and you're (literally) shaken out of your thoughts. "earth to y/nnnn!" yuuji's voice rings through your ears as you fade back into the conversation, and you turn to him with silence, yet a look on your face that speaks volumes. his face brightens, and he retracts his hands, holding them up as an apology. "sorry, sorry, but you've been so dazed! we're about to leave!" your eyes widen, trying to recollect just how long you've been in your head for yet again. "where are we going?" you ask, turning to the rest of the group who starts to snicker at your confusion, when they've been talking about the location for at least five minutes at this point. "nobara wants to go shopping, so we're going to the mall." maki finally says, smiling at you thinking she knows something. you squint at her smugness, but brush it off once the group starts to head out.

i should've sat next to her instead.

after another sigh from maki, and matching pouts from you and nobara, a hand taps on your shoulder. you turn around and are met with yuuta, who pulls you slightly farther away from the two girls starting to bicker over whether or not a weighted sloth plushie is necessary. your hand doesn't leave his, and you look up at him puzzled. "what's wrong?" he just smiles and shakes his head, which confuses you more. "nothing, i just didn't want to tell you i'll buy you one in front of them" when those words leave his mouth, your eyes noticeably light up, and even with your best attempt at hiding it, it doesn't work. pushing him away slightly, you attempt to decline, but he's already dragging you back to where you were and picking one out with you.

"if i pick one with you, it'll belong to both of us"

"will i get shared custody?"

"i'll see you in court."

yuuta seems much more content than he was before after you two picked out a stuffed cat and named it charlie. but, he was very much still on his guard. he doesn't like the way yuuji puts his hands on you so often, and he doesn't like the way you allow it. but, you're not his, who is he to control you?

-> ooooooh boyy yuuta.. this boy has had his eyes on y/n since the moment the friend group arrived. he feels so guilty for being so jealous, but he wishes he was close with you the way you are with them. your actions and the way you carry yourself seem so much more laid back than how you are with him and the rest. he wants you to be that comfortable with him, why now is he realizing that you may have been tense? he thought you liked him, why do things feel weird all of a sudden..? is he too deep in his thoughts?

-> a bit of a timeskip happened! not much, just two days from when we last saw them :3 (i didn’t know how to fill the gap help)

previous, masterlist, next [12. jealousy]

taglist is open! @just-a-girlblogger @moryymor @swissy23 @hvnyacoded @sereniteav @k4romis @jayathelostdragon @h3rmess @olivandeee @lysaray @ari3000dontcare @raechu11 @marifujioka @nyxlai @sonicsolos @saltypuffin1040 @r0ckst4rjk @h8ani @lmaolmaolmao @maya-maya-56 @mittensdun @adrenova @pnkblueberry @morgyyyyyyy @chososwh0r3 @lunecqm @r4veeen @arivsx @levlucs-kiru @mellozhi @sad-darksoul @ichorstainedskin @phoenix-eclipses @h3xi2g0n3 @eternalalmondd @en40p @love-jelly @kaeichi @vianna99 @dreamxiing @satoryaa @0range-juiceee @you-always-made-me-blush

if you are in bold, i am unable to tag you :( and if i forgot to add you, PLEASE YELL AT ME

⤷ © kenmakodz

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paradiseprincesss · 21 days

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Omg hi!!! I absolutely LOVED espresso it's so cute!! Would you be open to doing some major fluff with Jim (delinquent season)? Thanks so much!!!!

CPR - jim (delinquent season) x reader

hello lovely anon! THANK YOU! that means so much to me i appreciate your kind words! and yes, of course, we love love LOVE jim over here - he is criminally underrated. he's dreamy.

summary: after a shitty, messy, and rough divorce, jim is hesitant to love again - but he falls for a younger woman who changes his mind, and teaches him how to love again.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: so there is a large age gap (everyone is of legal age, jim is in his mid forties, reader is just described as 'in college,' so take that how you will), kissing, swearing, divorce, jim's employed as a professor but the reader isn't his student! other than that, no warnings just fluff lol

we don't chose who we fall in love with - at least, that's what jim always thought, and that's what he told himself.

jim never pictured himself to be the type of guy to date a younger woman, he always thought it was a little strange actually because what would someone his age have in common with someone roughly 20 years younger than him?

well, more than he thought.

he didn't intend on falling in love with you. he just...did. jim met you through a friend of his, weirdly enough. he had just finalized his divorce with his ex-wife, which was messy and screwed his perception of love up quite a bit - anyone would feel that way after finding out that their spouse of over a decade was having an affair.

so yeah, jim had some issues revolving around love.

with that being said, when an old college buddy of his (who he talked to a few times a year at most through facebook or text, and occasionally over the phone) had rung him up about how he had moved back to ireland and was having some old friends over for dinner just for old times sake, he figured sure, he'd go since he had nothing better to do.

fast forward to a week later, he showed up in his usual attire - casual slacks and sweater - and was greeted by a handful of his old college friends. jim couldn't lie - it was nostalgic, and frankly, kind of refreshing to be out socializing and living life again after his divorce. it had been a good 6 months since the divorce, and he was honestly feeling good for once.

"jim, hey!" his old college roommate, dan, greeted him at the door. "come on in, we're just having some beers in the living room, the games gonna be on soon."

the night went well, jim got to catch up with his old buddies from his college days, and they spent the evening drinking beers and fussing over the game on tv.

"so, i heard 'bout the ex-wife. hey, i'm sorry, man." another old acquaintance of his, ryan, had said to him.

jim laughed lightly, "s'alright. shit happens, i guess." to which all the other men just murmured and agreed with.

the conversations flowed well, and honestly - it felt good to rant about his ex-wife with some old buddies, and openly talk about his divorce like this - what she did was fucked up. he felt like he needed to and should be able to vent, too.

as the men were busy shouting at the tv, beers in hand, a softer voice called out, "dad?" and jim's buddy dan looked over his shoulder to see his daughter, standing in the doorway of the living room with a small smile.

jim looked away from the game momentarily, out of curiosity - and good god did his heart stop when he did. he was aware that dan had a daughter in college and he knew of her name, but he didn't realize how beautiful she was. the two of them locked eyes for a split second, and he looked away slightly embarrassed.

he didn't really know why he was embarrassed, it's not like he was doing anything shameful or wrong - but finding your friends daughter who was still a college student when he was in his forties was definitely wrong in a sense, well- to a certain degree.

"oh, hey sweetie, i didn't even realize you were still up." dan says to his daughter.

"it's only..." you pause, checking your phone, "half past eight, dad. plus, i'm stuck on this stupid essay my professor assigned to us yesterday." you laugh softly - lightheartedly, and jim felt his heart skip a few beats.

"oh, that's no good," dan says, "jim's a professor, i'm sure he won't mind if you asked him a few questions - maybe he can help you." your dad shrugs, looking at jim and then focusing back on the game.

you blush slightly, and you knew your dad was just being friendly and trying to be helpful - but suggesting you get his older (and really attractive!) friend who just so happened to be a professor to help you with your essay seemed...well, it was like one of those storylines you'd see in a movie, or a book...or something.

"um, dad, i'm sure jim doesn't want to step away from watching the game to help with homework-" you start to say, but in a moment of confidence (and a little alcohol), jim cut you off with a gentle tone.

"no- no, it's no worries, really. i was going to get up and grab another pint anyways." he says, getting up to go to the kitchen. you just walk with him into the kitchen, somewhat at a loss for words.

you get a better look at him under the dimmed kitchen lights, and you could already feel yourself getting nervous in his presence. you never found any of your dads friends attractive before - but jim, well, he was different.

the salt and pepper hair was...really hot. and god, those eyes. those glacier coloured eyes; you barely had a chance to even meet the man and somehow he had you in a chokehold before you spoke more than just a few sentences to each other.

"so," he broke the silence, "watcha studying?"

you quietly told him what you were majoring in, and he nodded, smiling at you softly, "well, i don't teach that particular subject or major - but i'll try and help you out regardless."

you retuned the small smile, "y-yeah, okay. cool."

for the next hour or so, the two of you sat closely next to one another at the dining table, your textbooks and papers sprawled out in front of you, with the doc you were writing open on your laptop. he helped you structure your essay and the two of you were about 80% done with it - that was until he requested that you turn back the page of your textbook.

"wait, go back to page 116 i think it says something about that at the bottom of the page." he tells you, reaching out to turn the pages back in the textbook. however, you also reached to turn the page back - causing the both of your hands to touch, to swiftly brush against each other.

with a small blush, you quickly pull back, still nervous. "sorry."

he laughs softly, shaking his head, "no need to be sorry."

taking a deep breath, you respond, "sorry- sorry, i keep saying sorry-"

"you okay?" he offers a gentle smile, and you felt your heart start racing a million miles per minute. you weren't one to get easily flustered like this - you never got this nervous, certainly not around guys your own age, at least.

jim didn't know why - but he felt the same way. however, he tried to play it cool. he had been on a few dates with a few different women here and there post divorce, but all of them were dead ends. however, with you, it almost felt like he had known you for a lifetime even though he had only just met you.

"yeah, just..." you trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words again. he looked at you with an expression that you couldn't quite read, and his gaze flickered to your lips - then back to your face. "just what?" he whispers to you, and you felt yourself drowning in his impossibly blue eyes.

suddenly, you felt his gentle hand on your thigh, and your breath hitched as he whispered to you again. "just what?"

"just kiss me." you whisper back, and with that, his hands were gently coming up to cup your face, and he kissed you softly.

you'd never kissed someone so much older than you before, and the thought of it made your head dizzy. after a moment, the both of you pulled away from the kiss, but his hand remained on your face.

"is it...is it strange if i ask you if i could take you out to dinner sometime?" he asks quietly, and you felt your cheeks heat up at the question.

"not at all, i'd love that." you smile at him.

again, falling in love wasn't part of the plan, but jim didn't really have a choice when it came to you. it just happened so naturally.

"sweetheart?' you hear his voice call out softly and the sound of the door closing, and you turn around to see him coming home from work - god, you loved when he wore his little sweaters with the sleeves rolled up half way - it really got you going.

"baby, hi." you greet him softly, bundled up in a blanket on the couch of his living room. "how was work?"

he slumps down beside you, pulling you into him softly with a sigh, kissing the top of your head. "it was alright, finished teaching my lecture earlier than expected so that was good." he tells you, voice gentle and tone loving.

"mm, well i'm glad to have you home early." you tell him sweetly, pulling him into a chaste kiss.

"what would you like for dinner, sweetheart?" he asks you, and you shrug, "jim, you worked all day, you don't have to make dinner it's fine." to which he shook his head and insisted, "how about some pasta?"

"jim," you whine softly, "you're so cute, i love you."

"i love you too, honey." he says, kissing you again.

after the date you two had, things just seemed to flow effortlessly. you'd never been with an older man before - and he was so very attentive to your every need, every want, every boundary you had - he took things slow with you, never ever pressuring you into anything.

now, six months later, you and jim had been dating for a few months, while you were still adjusting to dating someone roughly 20 years your senior - it was something you wouldn't change.

jim felt the same way - things were different with you. being with a younger woman was fun, it was new. you taught him things as much as he taught you things. with his ex-wife, there was no trust. no real love. no meaning to life, even though the two of them had kids together, it didn't change the fact that he always felt like he was married to someone he didn't know - a stranger.

you weren't a stranger, though - no, you were quite the opposite to him. you made him feel at home, you were his home. he often found himself wondering where he'd be if you weren't by his side. probably gone, he thinks.

after dinner and a steamy shower together, the two of you laid in his bed together, your head on his chest and his arms holding you in a warm embrace.

"...i want you to meet my kids." he suddenly tells you, and you turn your head to look up at him with love in your eyes, "yeah?" you whisper, causing him to whisper back a quiet "yeah" back to you.

he softly takes your hand and intertwines it with his own, a content sigh leaving his lips. "would you ever want to get married again?" you ask quietly - not even sure why you felt the sudden urge to ask that, but you did anyway.

he was quiet for a moment.

jim never thought he would re-marry, in fact, he didn't even think he'd ever find someone that he would want to marry after his ex-wife. but that was before he found you.

"i wouldn't ask you to meet my kids if i didn't plan on marrying you." he finally says, pulling you even closer. your breath hitched when he confessed that, and you felt yourself blushing a little too. "you mean that?" you ask him, to which he squeezed your hand.

"you made me love again - i sound corny, but i'm dead serious. i was at the end, then you came into my life... you made me feel like there was life worth living."

"oh, jim," you whisper, a little breathless at his continuous admissions about how much he loved you, "you're my everything."

he looked at you with admiration, and smiled softly at you. you were his everything, too. he often wondered if you knew that. if you knew how much he adored you. in a world where he felt like nobody understood him - you did. you were the only one he ever confided in.

your love fixed all his pain, your love fixed his heart - and you didn't even know. you didn't even know how much you were fixing a heart that you didn't break.

he felt like he was revived in a sense - brought back to life from the dead. brought back from his inevitable death of a marriage that had minced his heart. but now, things were different because he had you.

and you - you were the only thing that could jumpstart his flatlining heart again - like CPR.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #jonathan crane x f!reader #jonathan crane x reader #cillian fic #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy imagine #cillian x fem!reader #jim the delinquent season #jim delinquent season #jim delinquent season x reader #jim x reader #the delinquent season imagine #robert fischer x y/n #robert fischer x reader #robert fischer #robert fischer imagine

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fandomxpreferences · 1 year

Text

Two Lines, Two Idiots Chapter Nine: I'm Uncomfy When People Do Nice Things

Series Masterlist

Pairing:Rafe Cameron x Maybank!reader, Twin!JJ Maybank x reader

TW:pregnancy, mild trauma (?), I think thats it

Summary: Rafe proves just how far he's willing to go to take care of you.

Word Count:2k

A/N: Listen, I did minimal editing on this so just ignore any typos okay

To say you've been stressed is an understatement. At nearly twenty-eight weeks pregnant, the clock is ticking and each second that you don't have a plan worked out feels a little more like you're suffocating.

Rafe has just gotten you back to a relatively normal state; making sure you get enough sleep and eat to your heart's content. However, despite your flare-up settling down, you haven't been able to take a full breath since the conversation about your living situation a few weeks ago.

With the babies much more active and your back constantly aching, everything feels too real and it's finally sunk in that this is really happening.

"What's on your mind?"

You nearly jump out of your skin at the sudden sound of Rafe's voice and your hand comes to rest over your heart.

"What's not on my mind is the real question. We're only two months out from the babies being born and we don't have anything figured out. We don't have cribs or any necessities; which I mean, why would we? It's not like we have anywhere to set them up."

Rafe can see your anxiety rising as your breathing picks up and releases a deep sigh. You watch as he sticks his hand out, eyeing him skeptically before taking it.

"Come on."

He pulls you up with ease, both of his hands settling on your waist to keep you steady. Your clumsiness has reached new heights as your center of gravity continues to shift and pregnancy brain wreaks havoc.

"Where are we going?" You whine, and Rafe just shoots you a look. He stops for a second to allow you to slip on sandals before dragging you out to the Rover.

He buckles you in like usual before rounding the front and climbing into the driver's side and you watch the scenery blur as he heads away from the cut. The drive is silent, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your thigh.

You frown when he turns down an unfamiliar road, somewhere between the cut and figure eight. Your eyes widen as you take in all the large homes, awestruck at the beauty of the quaint neighborhood.

He pulls into a driveway and parks, taking a deep breath before looking over at you. The confusion is evident on your feature; your brows scrunched, and a quizzical look in your eyes.

"Where are we?"

Again, Rafe doesn't answer. Instead, he gets out and opens your door to help you down.

"Rafe, this is someone's house. We can't just trespass." You urge, and he remains stoic.

You drag your feet as he leads you up the steps to the door, completely at a loss. It's a beautiful beachfront house with a screened-in sun room and at least two stories. It's the type of house you grew up dreaming about.

The type of house that would be perfect for raising a family, large but cozy with big windows for sticky little hands to smudge up.

Your stomach does a flip when he pulls out a set of keys and turns to face you.

"You know that I'll always take care of you, right?" He asks, and you nod slowly.

"And you trust me when I say that I'll always find a way to provide and you'll never have to worry again?"

You nod once more, blinking quickly as tears sting your waterline. He places the key in the knob and opens the door, using the hand placed on your lower back to nudge you inside.

Your feet move on their own accord, and you step past the threshold.

"Welcome home, baby."

You whip around to face him, shocked despite your suspicions.

"What do you mean? Did you rent this place?" You breathe, and he chuckles.

"Nope. It's all ours. Closed escrow last week. I've just been trying to work out some last-second details."

Your mouth hangs open as you stare up at him.

"No you fucking didn't. Rafe Cameron, you did not buy a house. Certainly not this house. It's huge!"

He laughs at your genuine bafflement and nods his head toward the open space.

"Go take a look around. There are five bedrooms and four baths."

You stay cemented in place, trying to process the new information. He takes it upon himself to lead you around as you follow behind him like a lost puppy. Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head when you see the kitchen that's half the size of the house you grew up in, and he laughs.

"If you think this is nice, wait till you see the pool and private beach access. It's our own little slice of heaven."

His heart sinks when he sees a tear fall, and he's eye level in an instant.

"What's wrong? Do you not like it?" He asks in a panic as his thumbs try to wipe away the rapidly falling tears.

"It's beautiful Rafe. It's just… I can't leave JJ. I can't sleep knowing I'm here while he's still slumming it." You cry, and Rafe breathes a sigh of relief.

"Come on."

He takes you outside, surpassing the aforementioned pool to stop in front of a second building.

"It's a guest house. I figured you'd have an issue with leaving JJ, so I thought maybe he could live here. Might help to have an extra set of hands." He shrugs, and you freeze.

An uneasy feeling washes over you, and your first instinct is to run for the hills. By all means, what Rafe has done is thoughtful and mind-blowing. However, you struggle with him buying you little things, and he's handing you the keys to a house? Not just you, but your brother as well?

Your mind can't quite process and Rafe notices immediately when your hands start ringing together and your pupils dilate.

"Hey, stay with me. I know it's a lot, but I couldn't stand to see you so stressed out. I thought it could be a fun little project with Sarah. You know, decorating and picking out furniture." He scrambles, and you finally look up at him.

"Why?" You whisper, and Rafe truly doesn't understand how you could think he wouldn't pluck the sun out of the sky and hand it to you if he was able.

"Because I love you, and you deserve nice things. I plan on giving you those nice things, whether you like it or not."

Your lip quivers as you look around at the vast property and you shake your head.

"But a house?"

Rafe's large hands envelop yours and lay them against his chest; a grounding tactic he's learned over the past few months to help with your anxiety.

"Baby, I would buy the whole town if it would make you smile. So yes, I'm giving you a house so we can turn it into a home."

You pull him down by his neck, pressing a salty kiss to his lips before pressing your forehead to his.

"Thank you."

Rafe kisses the tip of your nose and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you as close as he can with your large belly.

"Anything for you."

The two of you stay like that for a second before you take a deep breath and rub your stomach. Your eyes light up suddenly and Rafe smiles at the way you're practically buzzing.

"Can we show JJ?"

He nods with a chuckle and leads you back to the truck.

"Of course."

The whole drive back you're shifting in your seat, nerves and eagerness oozing out of your pores. You practically leap from the seat despite Rafe's protest as soon as he parks, and race inside to the best of your ability.

"JJ, come with me." You sing, and your brother looks at you like you've lost your mind before glancing at Rafe.

"Everyone can come if they want." Rafe offers, and the rest of the group shares a look before nodding.

You take JJ in the truck with you while the rest follow in the Twinkie, ignoring his line of interrogation the same way Rafe had with you.

"Where the fuck are we?" JJ questions the second you pull into the driveway, and everyone spills out of the Twinkie.

"What is this?" Sarah asks, and you just give Rafe a knowing smile.

They frown as the two of you walk to the door, hanging back in case someone comes out with a shotgun. Their frowns turn to shock when Rafe unlocks the deadbolt and nods his head to signal everyone to enter.

They do so slowly, arms crossed as they look around the same way you did.

"Welcome to our not-so-humble abode!"

As soon as the words leave your mouth, everyone gasps and turns to face you.

"What?!" JB shouts, and you nod while laughing.

"Rafe bought the most expensive surprise ever." You say, and Sarah's most drops open.

"You didn't let me help?" She scolds with a slap to Rafe's arm and he back away with a mock scowl.

"Relax, I already told Y/N that the two of you have free reign to decorate however you want."

This seems to improve her mood as she squeals and claps happily.

You turn to face JJ, and he gives you a half grin. It doesn't meet his eyes, and you can tell that he's trying to be happy for you despite his qualms.

"You wanna see outside?" You murmur, and he tries to appear excited. Rafe motions for the rest to hang back, aware that you need a moment alone.

JJ lets out a low whistle when he sees the pool and the beach just a few yards away.

"This is insane. I'm happy for you."

He pulls you into a hug and you squeeze him a little tighter.

"Do you like it?" You press, and he cocks his head to the side.

"Shit, what's not to like? You got the happy ending you deserve."

You hum in agreement before motioning toward the guest house.

"Well, it's a good thing since you'll be living here too. If you want to, that is."

The speed at which JJ's head whips to look at you is almost concerning and he studies your face for any signs of humor.

"Are you crazy? I can't impose like that!" He exclaims, his arms moving wildly as he gesticulates to emphasize his point.

"How do you even know the word impose? Anyway, you wouldn't be. You'd be living in the guest house. It's all yours." You explain, and for the first time in your life, JJ is at a loss for words.

"Is Rafe okay with that?" He finally asks and you nod.

"It was his idea. The babies are going to want Uncle JJ around, and I guess I wouldn't hate having you here either." You tease, bumping his shoulder with your own.

You're interrupted by loud chatter as the rest of the pogues walk out, John B already talking about the surf break and house parties.

"What's going on over here?" Kie smiles, and you shrug casually.

"Just talking about how nice it's gonna be to have JJ living in the guest house."

Rafe pulls your back into his chest, his hands sneaking around your front to rest on your belly. Everyone looks around, completely baffled at the new information. JJ is still staring at the guest house, unsure how to react.

It's nice; bigger than the shit hole the two of you grew up in. He's barely ever had a room to himself, let alone an entire place. Living in his sister and Rafe Cameron's fancy guest house isn't exactly how he saw his life unfolding, but he isn't mad at it.

His thoughts are interrupted by John B and Pope slapping him on the back.

"You good?" Pope frowns, and JJ blows out a long breath.

"Yeah, man. Just surprised."

John B nods in understanding before he breaks out into a smile.

"You know this means we're crashing here all the time right? Why hang out at the chateau when we can chill at a five-star resort?" He jokes, and JJ smiles brightly.

"Shit yeah, man. We're practically kooks now."

Rafe interrupts with a loud scoff and shakes his head.

"I wouldn't go that far, Maybank. Besides, being a kook isn't all it's cracked up to be."

JJ slips off his boots and jumps in the pool before surfacing to stare down your boyfriend.

"I don't know, bro. This seems pretty fucking awesome."

There's a moment of silence before Rafe laughs loudly.

"Yeah, it's not too shabby."

You just stand and watch all the people you love most in your backyard, trying to commit the image to memory.

"We need to start shopping, like, yesterday." Sarah suddenly says, and you wrap an arm around her shoulder.

"We can look online tonight." You assure her, and she kisses your cheek before Rafe playfully pushes her away. Her lips are replaced with his and he nuzzles into your neck.

"Are you happy, baby?"

You shift to look at him, and his heart melts at the way you're glowing.

"The happiest." You sigh, and Rafe kisses your throat softly.

"Then so am I."

@i-love-rafe @itsmytimetoodream @brynley-a-xoxo @whore4drew @houseofperfecttaste @everythingmarveltopgun @f4ll-for-you @athenabarnes @antagonize-me-motherfucker @writtenwordslover @madsnxo @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @starrystarkey93 @keylin1730 @fulla02 @loving-and-dreaming @evening-starlight @ibleedcalories @badasspizzalover @veescorneroftheworld @pinkpantheris @brooklynscherry-z @starkeylover @sebastiansstanswhore @lothiriel9 @katzarantos @gillybear17 @genius2050

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron series #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic #outer banks #outer banks series

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend?

I, 18f, graduated high school this year and will be heading off to college in about a month. I've been with my boyfriend, 17m, nearly all of high school and he is one of the most wonderful, amazing, kindest people I know and I love him. We're not planning on going to the same college, even though we'll be doing virtually the same major (theatre performance vs theatre design and production, that's how we met).

However, much as I care for him, I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life with him. He's been my first and only serious romance, and while his parents were high school sweethearts, I know it rarely works out that way for most people. Recently he asked me where he saw us in five years (when I'd be out of college) and he still saw us together, wanted to be together, and he's made a few references to wanting to be together as adults after college. I honestly told him that I don't know, I have no clue where college would take each of us, and if we'd still be together even when we go separate ways. I don't have anywhere near his level of certainty in a future with us together.

In the same conversation he mentioned that when he graduates (he's a year under me, junior when I was a senior) he'll be leaving on his mission for two years and when he gets back he's not sure about college, he's always planned on going but he said that because it would mean he's doing a four year degree and in college for two extra years after I graduate (both of us in for 4 years). He said that if we were still together then, he might not even go to college for the sake of being with me and that just made me feel very guilty and uncomfortable because that's a massive life choice and he's never expressed interest in not going to college until then and I don't want to be the sole reason he changes his mind on something like that, I don't want him to give up on a degree and potentially the career he wants for my sake. We talked about it then, he didn't intend for it to come across the way it did for me, and he still has plenty of time to think about it with next school year then two years on his mission. We both apologized and there's no hard feelings, but it still leaves me feeling strange.

He's also very religious, not in a bad way, and I'm not at all. I find religion a fascinating topic academically but it's not for me at all and while I've had many long discussions about it with him before and it's always an interesting and lighthearted topic, I know there's this unspoken expectation that I would have to (or at least would be 'supposed' to) convert if we were to get married, and that's not something I could do even just in name if not in actual beliefs.

Right now I don't want to leave him, as I said, I adore him and he's one of the most wonderful people I know, I'm incredibly happy with him, but in all honesty, I don't see myself still being with him in five years once I'm out of college, I don't see myself marrying him, I can't see us spending the rest of our lives together. I think in the end we're just too different, he wants kids and I don't, he's religious and I'm not, it's just not it, and I know that if I ended up with him I would spend my life feeling like I settled for him just cause he's who I'm with now when there could be someone else. He deserves the very best in life and deserves to be happy, and I don't feel like I can give that to him, but I don't want to just leave him because we are happy right now and I do love him and want to be with him for as long as I can be, but not forever.

The problem is, he's so hopeful and we're so happy right now and I've just been holding onto this for a while and I feel like a complete asshole for not telling him how I feel and not being honest about the future. When I went and told a friend this, her first response was that I'm just leading him on and making it even harder for when we eventually do break up or grow apart, and that's also been weighing on me. I don't want to lead him on or give him false hope about a future together when I can't see that happening, and I can see how my actions here can be cruel and hurtful and that I'm essentially lying to him as to not hurt him. That same friend also suggested slowly ghosting him in college and allowing us to drift apart slowly and let that happen, and that also feels like an asshole move because I'm honestly closer to him and his parents than I am my own family.

But in the end, am I the asshole for not wanting to be with someone who wants to be with me and looking forward eventually not being with him even if I do love him and want to be with him now? Am I the asshole for essentially completely leading him on?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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cutielando · 3 months

Text

never again ~ rafe cameron

my masterlist

You loved Rafe.

You really did.

He was the first person you had ever loved, the first man to make you feel good about yourself, to make you step out of your comfort zone and be more adventurous. The first man to show you what real love felt like.

But that person was gone.

The Rafe that you were in a relationship with wasn't the Rafe you had fallen in love with anymore. You often found yourself looking at your boyfriend and not even recognizing the person staring back at you.

He had changed, he let the drugs do so much irreparable damage to his soul that he didn't know who he was anymore.

That was the main reason why you had decided to end your relationship. You had to do it for the sake of your well-being, not trusting your safety when you were around Rafe like you used to, once upon a time.

The perfect moment for the talk came harder than you thought it would, but you had got lucky when you caught him sober one night, scrolling away on his phone.

You firstly cleared your throat, hoping to get his attention.

When that didn't happen, him having not moved an inch, you scooted closer to him on the bed, laying your hand on his arm.

"Rafe"

He finally looked up, shutting his phone and throwing it somewhere on the bed.

"What's up?"

"We need to talk"

You could feel his muscles tense slightly under your touch, the words that came out of your mouth never leading to a pleasant conversation.

"About what?" he didn't want you to see that he was shitting his pants on the inside, trying to keep his cool and act nonchalant.

"Us" you smiled sadly, taking your hand off of his arm.

"What about us? We're fine"

"No, we're not fine, Rafe. We haven't been fine for months on end now! I can't keep watching you destroy yourself because of your addiction, baby. I can't keep doing this anymore. You're not yourself anymore, you haven't been yourself for a very long time and I can't bear watching you like this. I don't want to do this anymore. I think we need some time apart" you had turned away from him, facing forward and hugging your knees to your chest.

You heard his breathing getting quicker, something that always happened when he was panicking.

"Baby, I will get better, I promise. It's just a really tough time for me right now and this is how I cope with the stress. But I can get off that shit anytime. Please, don't leave me, I'll be better" he was hugging you from behind now, tears soaking the back of your shirt.

You bit your lip tightly, trying to suppress the sob that was threatening to come out of your lips. Tears were freely flowing down your cheeks, but you didn't even bother to wipe them away. There was no point.

"I wish I could believe you, Rafe. I really wish I could, but I can't. We've had this conversation too many times with empty promises and I can't take any more of those. I'm sorry, but this is for the best. I'm willing to try again if you end up getting clean and you get your life together, but until then, goodbye" you turned around and took his face in your hands, pecking his lips one more time before you got up and left Tannyhill, your tears blurring your vision.

The moment you got to your car and closed the doors, pained sobs escaped your lips, your whole body rocking with them. You knew you had made the right choice, at least for the time being, but that didn't mean it didn't absolutely break your heart.

Rafe was sitting in the same spot, his mind trying to process everything that had just happened. He knew the moment was long overdue, he now realized just how much he had changed ever since he started heavily doing drugs again, he knew how much he neglected you and the shit you had had to put up with because of him.

He realized he hadn't been fair to you, but damn did it hurt him like nothing else in the world. Knowing he had let you slip through his fingers, the only person he had ever loved and the only one who had ever loved him for who he was. Gone, just like that.

Sniffling and wiping his tears away, he picked up his phone, making some calls determined to get better and win you back because he couldn't live without you.

Not anymore.

Five months had passed since the night you and Rafe broke up. You had been keeping busy, burying yourself in schoolwork so you could have something to think about that wouldn't be related to Rafe.

You had held onto hope that he had got the help he needed, wanting him to realize that there was so much to life besides drugs.

He had sent you messages, telling you how he was doing, what he was up to, but you chose to ignore them all. You didn't want to get your hopes up and then be disappointed if you found out he had been lying, so you just simply hadn't replied.

Unbeknownst to you, Rafe had been clean ever since the night you broke up with him. He had went to a rehab center the morning after, determined to get and stay clean for the rest of his life so he could prove to you that he loved you and he was serious about your relationship.

When he got back from the center and settled in back home, he decided to drive over to your house, in hopes that he could get you back into his life.

It was evening when he appeared in front of your door. It was very warm outside, the sun having just set.

He knocked on your door, hoping that you would be the one to answer. And his prayers had been answered because you appeared in the doorway, shorts and one of his T-shirt on your body, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Rafe?" you asked, not believing he was really at your door.

"Hi, baby" he smiled, giving you the bouquet of roses he had been hiding behind his back.

"Um, thanks. They're beautiful" you said as you smelled the flowers, smiling because he had remembered your favorite flowers.

"Just like you" he said, making you blush. "Can we talk?"

You looked at him, taking in his features. He looked healthy, which warmed your heart.

Nodding, you set off towards the kitchen, finding a vase for the flowers before joining him in the living room.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I messed up, Y/N, I know that. My behavior for the past few months has been inexcusable, I realize that. I lost sight of myself and I became a horrible person, someone who didn't even deserve the bat of an eye from someone like you. I know I've treated you badly, I know how much I hurt you and how much I neglected our relationship. I'm sorry for everything, baby. I've been clean for the past 5 months and it's going to remain like that. I'm never touching another drug again. I want us to work, baby, I want us to be together again. I promise to love you and be the man you deserve to have by your side. What do you say?"

His eyes for so hopeful, so full of hope and love. You couldn't deny that you had missed him terribly, the break up hurting you almost as much as it had hurt him. But you loved him, and you knew that was never going to change.

"Okay, but if I catch you with drugs one more time, it's over for good. Never again, okay?"

He nodded frantically, falling into your arms and hugging you tightly.

"Thank you, I love you so much" he whispered.

"I love you too"

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hockeyandhrsepwr · 1 year

Text

Birthday boy

*little Trevor Zegras x best friend (👀) reader insta edit for his birthday**

yourusername

liked by jamie.drysdale, _quinnhughes & others

Yourusername happy birthday Fucker

view all comments

📌 Yourusername I’m just joking, happy birthday to the best friend a girl could ask for!! 🫶

TrevorZegras wow, really feeling the love

jamie.drysdale you know what you did

TrevorZegras no I dont?!

jamie.drysdale right, it’s what you didn’t do

Yourusername ☝️

Jackhughes happy birthday Z

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TrevorZegras now that you say that…..

Yourusername Doesn't even use your full name

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JackHughes I’m busy!!

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JackHughes Trevor!! Tell her she’s wrong

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Jackhughes what does she have over you?

Jamie.drysdale too much lol

Anaheimducks our favourite swiftie finally hit his TS birthday

Yourusername that he did

ColeCaufield Feeling 22

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Yourusername but only you said it

TaylorSwift happy birthday Trevor!!

Jamie.drysdale what the hell?

TrevorZegras………

Yourusername did I not tell you we’re friends

TTerry19 He’s sat in his stall gaping like a fish. You’ve shut him up for once

Yourusername Thanks for the update Troy

_alexturcotte That won’t last long

TrevorZegras 5 years we’ve been friends

MasonMctavish23 oh Jesus, here we go

jackHughes The betrayal speech?

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Masonmctavish23 unfortunately

Shattdeuces hes recording it because he's too worked up to type it for you rn

yourusername 😂 I've heard it before

_quinnhughes Happy birthday annoying brother #6

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lhughes_06 Happy birthday Zeegs, can we circle back to this? Who the hell are #3-5

Yourusername I’m assume Turcs is in there somewhere

_quinnhughes yep, Alex & Cole & Dylan

lhughes_06 what?

Dylanduke.25 I’m honoured

User16 Trevors in best friend jail 🤣

User72 wonder what he did

User12 the comment section correction

User22 no one seems to have noticed it😂

Yourusername They saw it, they’re just choosing not to acknowledge it

TrevorZegras

liked by JackHughes, anaheimducks & others

TrevorZegras best birthday present I could’ve asked for #upgrades #shesmygfnow

view all comments

Yoruusername that has to be the lamest hashtag ever. Are you 12?

Masonmctavish23 mentally yes

Yourusername true

Jamie.drysdale can’t believe it

_alexturcotte FINALLY!!

Jackhughes the gc is going wild rn

Jamie.drysdale so ours!!

Colecaufield he actually did it?

jamie.drysdale 30 minutes ago, I’ll send you the video

Jackhughes me too!

_quinnhughes just add him to the GC

Yourusername that’s why youre the smart one Quinn

_quinnhughes thanks. Good luck with him

Yoruusername oh hes a handful 😏

Jamie.drysdale yuck

mattboldy couldn’t have waited 2 fucking weeks Trev?

_alexturcotte oh shit, I won!!

Cam.York damnit!

ColeCaufield I was off by two days😭

TrevorZegras You were betting on us? 😦

Jackhughes duh

Anaheimducks obviously

Colecaufield dude you’ve been in love with her since high school

Yourusername it gets reevaluated every 4 months for new dates

_johnbeecher we're on the 10th round I think

TrevorZegras yourusername YOURE IN ON IT?

Yourusername to quote one Jack Hughes “duh”

TrevorZegras dont bring him into this!!

Yourusername You wouldn’t get your head out of your ass! I could’ve at least made some money from it

TrevorZegras you could’ve made a move!!

Yourusername nah why would I do that

jamie.drysdale you could just have this conversation. You’re sitting across from each other

Yourusername shut it Jim

TrevorZegras yeah, zip it

User24 the Ducks admin betting on Trevors love life wasn’t on my bingo card

Anaheimducks Its the whole team!!

TrevorZegras Jesus how many people are actually involved?

Yourusername Secretary Alex?

_alexturcotte at this date, 65

TrevorZegras WHAT!!

Yoruusername yep, you’ve just made Lex a very rich man

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TrevorZegras shhhh

Yourusername 🤨

TrevorZegras I’m joking, I love you very much

Yourusername 😌

User727 always thought they’d be a good couple

User71 best friends to lovers? Elite trope

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User542 Bestie we all have!!

User98 65 people betting 😮

User62 I’m just wondering how much Turcotte will actually make

Yourusername it’s at least 4 figures! Everyone had different amounts

Xxx

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #jjs insta edits #anaheim ducks #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras insta edit #quinn hughes #jack hughes #jamie drysdale #cole caufield #alex turcotte #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #hockey instagram au

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maddymoreau · 9 months

Text

Banban Analysis

I think Banban's story is the most interesting part of Garten of Banban and I'm extremely excited to see how it plays out. This discussion is essentially going to breakdown what Banban is and go through some of his behavior in the first four chapters.

Banban is the #6 experiment created by combining human genome from one of the doctors named Uthman Adam with Givanium for the upcoming Bring-A-Friend Day.

At the time Case #6 was considered a success outside one flaw. He views himself as human and as the actual Uthman Adam.

Once Case #6 and the real Uthman Adam were introduced to each other this lead to disaster.

As described (in Case Report #13 Update #3) Case #6 has a complete meltdown.

Which results in two things happening:

1. Case #7 named Banbaleena is created.

Since Dr. Weverly Mason was the only person Case #6 was willing to communicate with it's speculated her genome was used to create Banbaleena. Especially since the real Dr. Uthman and Dr. Mason are close.

While Case #6 and Banbaleena both view themself as their human genome donor only Case #6 was introduced to his.

It's unconfirmed how Case #6 perceives Banbaleena. Either as her human genome donor or something else. Regardless he recognizes something in Banbaleena resulting in their long hug.

Banbaleena helps Case #6 feel less alone however it doesn't change his disobedient and aggressive behavior.

Sidenote while this part is also speculation the parallels felt too similar to not mention:

During Chapter 3 when Case #6 has us make Nabnab a companion he say, "Nabnaleena was that solution. We had a theory that Nabnab was as aggressive as he was due to his loneliness."

While part of the reason we're creating Nabnaleena is because Nabnab is on the hunt making it too dangerous to do anything. I think since Banbaleena helped ease Case #6's loneliness that's part of the reason he has us help finish creating Nabnaleena. As a way to help Nabnab no longer feel lonely.

2. They used a newly-modified Givanium to lower Case #6's ability to self-think.

We actually witness Case #6 fall victim to his primitive instincts during one of the secret tapes in Chapter 3:

Case #6 is constantly struggling in between an internal battle Uthman Adam (who he perceives himself as) VS Banban (his violent primitive instincts).

After all it's Banban who has it's iconic quote:

Even though Case #6 has met the actual Uthman Adam he still perceives himself as the real one.

We witness this through countless dialogue. Even during the creation of Nabnaleena this is mentioned. "We had a theory that Nabnab was as aggressive as he was due to his loneliness." Referring to himself as one of the doctors despite the fact Case #6 isn't.

The saddest example being this conversation in Chapter 4.

"I feel now is a good time to introduce ourselves, which we haven't done up to this point if you can believe it. I am Uthman. I worked here before everything came crashing down, literally and figuratively."

"My coworkers and I should've spoken up sooner. Perhaps all of this should've been prevented then. But then again, my coworkers weren't really friends in those last couple of months anyway, so it would've needed some good planning."

"You ever had those friends that suddenly turn on you for no reason? To say mine turned on me would be an understatement. They suddenly stopped talking to me. They looked at me like I was some sort of monster. Sometimes I lose my temper, sure, but it seemed excessive. I was and still am confused, to say the least."

The awful way Case #6 was treated by his "friends" could also explain his behavior in Chapter 2.

"Look, i'm sorry I hit you but you gotta understand I needed something from you that I could only get if you were unconcious and I was all out of sedatives. If you'd seen me, you wouldn't have trusted me, I know it. But there was one thing I didn't lie to you about, and that's me knowing why you're here."

I find Case #6's confusion SO INTERESTING!!! You have a character who knows others view him as a monster yet he cannot understand why. Since when Case #6 looks in a mirror he sees "himself."

While Case #6 holds all of Uthman's memories before his creation.

Who is the ACTUAL Dr. Uthman?

We have these two notes.

Along with one letter between Dr. Uthman and Dr. Mason discussing the ball pit which reads, "This thing can barely support the amount of children we have enrolled in the kindergarten. We're having double that tomorrow. Something really bad is going to happen, and we need to be as far away from here as humanly possibly when it does. We've been on the bad side of the wrong people for a long time, and if we're still here when everything goes down, it will be the end of both of us. If not at the hands of angry parents, then at the hands of our superiors."

"A place like this should not exist. The stuff we've witnessed here should not exist. The casualties that will result from this catastrophe will only serve the greater good; which is shutting down this place once and for all."

"I'll have a plan ready for tomorrow. now, you just pack your things."

We don't know if this plan, Bring-A-Friend Day or something else are the result of how things have turned out.

Regardless both Dr. Uthman and Dr. Mason were unable to escape. We don't know what happened to Dr. Uthman but we do know Dr. Mason is currently with our child (from the notes they've left).

Boarding passes found in Chapter 1:

There's one MAJOR difference between the real Dr. Uthman and Case #6. Unlike the real Dr. Uthman who was prepared to abandon ship even viewing the potential disaster and casualties as something for the greater good.

Case #6 wants to help and even acknowledges, "My coworkers and I should've spoken up sooner."

While Case #6 may be hiding another ulterior motivate since he retains most memories of Uthman including knowledge of the secret down in the basement.

I think overall he's being honest with his goals mentioned in Chapter 2, "But there was one thing I didn't lie to you about, and that's me knowing why you're here. You're here for your children. I, too, am working towards saving them if you can believe it. But someone else has them. Someone far stronger than you and me both that resides deep in the abyss."

However due to the internal struggle he experiences falling into his violent primitive instincts from the newly-modified Givanium. When control is lost that alters his goals to eating our pancreas.

Case #6 is constantly having to work around himself.

For simplicity in this upcoming section I'm going to refer to regular Case #6 as Uthman and the Violent Instincts as Banban.

Chapter Two

The first Case #6 we meet is in Chapter Two is Banban.

At first tricking in the player and hitting them from behind Banban says, "Three birds with one stone!"

Note: Mr. Kabob Man the statue in Chapter 3 that imitates Banban also says the quote, "Three birds with one stone!"

"I get all of your keycards, I get the perfect specimen AND I don't have to deal with that thing down there. And it's all thanks to YOU! Oh come on, I didn't hit you THAT hard. Or maybe I did. Either way, it's best you take a nap while I prepare for our little surgery."

Despite this they also leaving us a note warning about the attack. However it reads as more of taunt to me.

While Banban mentions a surgery and using us a specimen nothing actually happens to the player.

Uthman could’ve gained controlled but I think that Banban was possibly prepping things when we woke up earlier then expected.

Since during Banbaleena's class Banban says, "Also teachers, please keep in mind that we are on the lookout for a very, very naughty student believed to be accompanied by a drone. If you catch them, call Principal Banban’s office immediately."

Very very naughty doesn’t feel like something Uthman would call the player.

When we later reunite with Case #6 there's a glass barrier between us. We can tell this is Uthman due to his behavior. He apologizes, is upfront with his goals and informs the player of a way to escape Banbaleena and Jumbo Josh.

Chapter Three

We first encounter Uthman over the speaker system.

"Glad to see you made it! I don't know how you did it, but then again you survived a giant elevator crash so I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"Also, again, I apologize for hitting you over the head. In fact, it is for this reason that I believe we should not meet face-to-face. You see, for whatever reason I am prone to violent instincts, and I do not trust myself to not give into them again."

"I have locked myself inside of a surveillance room. That way I can help without being a danger to you."

Uthman sticks to his word helping the player throughout the chapter. It's ONLY when brought face-to-face by Stinger Flynn that Case #6's violent instincts come out. Being drawn to the smell of the player's pancreas.

"You can run away, but the smell of your pancreas will always draw me to you . . ."

Resulting in a chase scene and eventually a fight between Jumbo Josh, Banban and Stinger Flynn.

Chapter Four

When you reunite with Uthman in the infirmary he says, "When the Queen mentioned having many new visitors in one day, I knew it had to be you. Listen, whatever happened to me . . . Whatever I tried doing to you . . . Just know it wasn't actually me. I was forced to obey without much thought. I tried communicating with you from afar for a reason. Now you know the true reason why."

"Still, I want to make it up to you. The queen filled me in on the situation with the elevator. I want to help with that. I feel much more in control now. I'll come help you find the missing pieces of the elevator. I just need to rest for a little bit and I'll meet you at whatever that station is."

Which Uthman does until a fight between him and Nabnab breaks out. Which I think is really cool considering Nabnab is his opposite. Both in name and character wise.

Despite Uthman transforming into Banban during the fight he is able to restrain himself. Not attacking us for our pancreas even though we're so close.

This is the final scene we see Case #6 AND I'M SOOO INVESTED IN HIS STORY AND SEEING HOW IT PLAYS OUT!!!!

Also I like how Case #6 cares deeply for some of the other experiments. Whether it's some form of kinship or out of a sense of duty believing to be partially responsbile for creating them.

Examples of this are:

When Jumbo Josh falls for one of Sheriff Toadster's trap Case #6 comments, "Poor Josh . . . I can't imagine how confusing this has all been for him . . ." Holding no resentment despite the fact they fought in Chapter 3.

In Chapter 4 Case #6 intends to hand over the imposter statue AKA Mr. Kabob Man to someone he describe as, "very close to me." (This is speculated to be Zolphius). Even commenting, "He must've gotten very lonely, but I got him a new friend."

In Chapter 2 Case #6 indulges in Banbaleena’s behavior. During her class over the speaker he refers to himself as Principal Banban.

I find it interesting the non-human version acts more humane than the real Uthman.

#ANYWAY I LOVE THESE GAMES!!!! RANT OVER!!!! PLEASE ADD ONTO THIS I'D LOVE TO HEAR OTHERS THOUGHTS!!!!!!#ALSO PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG <3!!!!!#I LOVE THIS STUPID RED DORK!!!!!!#Garten of Banban #Banban #Long Post #Long Test #MaddyMoreauPost

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risingode · 1 year

Text

better than revenge

summary: you don't hate jungkook's best friend. no, you just really, really dislike her and her very apparent crush on your boyfriend

pairing: jungkook x y/n

genre: fluff, angst

wc: 2.6k

warnings: jungkook is so clueless, y/n talks about hitting people a lot, light making out, arin is very annoying

note: please comment or send me an ask to let me know what you think! this is my first post on here, i'm very nervous lol. i really hope you enjoy it !!

(loosely based on better than revenge by taylor swift, enjoy </3)

You and Jungkook had been looking forward to this trip to Hawaii for months. The two of you were excited to spend some time away from the stresses of everyday life and just enjoy each other's company. You had invited your friends, fellow couples Taehyung and Jennie, and Jimin and Jiyeon. Jungkook proposed, much to your dismay, that you could also ask Arin to tag along. Arin was his childhood friend, and as much as you tried to like her for your boyfriend's sake, it was so glaringly obvious how not so friendly her attraction was for him. You had brought this up to Jungkook when you first began dating, but he brushed it off, saying they both saw each other as brother and sister and that she was nothing to worry about.

You still had your reservations regarding her, but you didn't put up more of a fight, deciding instead to trust your boyfriend and his loyalty and love for you. The eight of you had just arrived at your hotel and were settling in your rooms. You and Jungkook shared a room, while Taehyung and Jennie, Jimin and Jiyeon, and Arin each had their own rooms.

"Baby?" Jungkook asks. You turn your head in question. "Do you wanna go surfing real quick? We have nothing to do today besides the dinner reservation later tonight."

You smile. The pair of you loved surfing, you began doing it together shortly after you started dating, and it became a sacred tradition you guys had. Every weekend, you would drive to the nearby beach by your shared apartment, surfboard in tow, and surf for hours.

"Of course, my love, let me unpack our clothes first and change into my bathing suit." He nods, squeezing your waist lightly. As you were unpacking, Arin came into your room to chat with Jungkook. Awkwardly, you shuffle into the bathroom to avoid unneeded interaction with her.

"So, have you decided what you want to do first?" Arin asks, trying to make conversation.

"I think we're going to hit the beach and maybe do some surfing," Jungkook replies. Your eye twitches, and you have to restrain every bone in your body from reaching over and slapping him over the head.

"That sounds like so much fun!" Arin exclaims. "Can I come with you guys?"

"Uh, sure," You say, trying to hide your annoyance. Of course. You feel your neck tighten in what you presumed to be pent-up frustration, yet, you know this was only the beginning. 'Whatever,' you thought. You were aware Arin couldn't surf, so you didn't feel bothered. You knew you could leave her behind to swim alone while the pair of you caught some waves.

You should've known that Arin wouldn't keep her mouth quiet, though, because soon enough, the whole group was clambering into your small room, all rambling about how excited they were to surf. You didn't want to sound rude, but you and Jungkook hadn't spent much alone time together recently, and the thought of spending at least a few hours by yourselves sounded so good. You plaster a fake smile, and Jungkook sends you an apologetic one.

The group of you headed down to the beach, and like you predicted, Arin kept trying to join in, but she wasn't very good and kept falling off her board. Your satisfied smile turns sour, though, once Jungkook moves to grab her by the waist and set her back on her own two feet. You wish you could dunk his head underwater and hold him there.

After a while, you all returned to the hotel to prepare for dinner. As you were getting dressed, Arin once again made herself at home in your room, chatting with Jungkook about how he needed to teach her how to surf. Your annoyance was bubbling over at this point because as soon as you walked out of the bathroom, you realized Arin was wearing a dress similar to the one you were in.

This, of course, wouldn't have been a problem; coincidences happen! Yet, you knew you weren't being dramatic in your anger because this was the very same dress you had bought in the resort's small boutique that afternoon when you guys first arrived. The same boutique that all eight of you entered at the same time and where you spent an hour deciding which of the dresses you and the other girls should get and wear for dinner that night. You had all, Arin included, picked out four very different dresses. Your dress was decided by both yourself and Jungkook as he gloated about how beautiful you looked in it. Did she … Did she really go back and buy your same dress?

"Hey, Arin, that's the same dress I was going to wear tonight," You say, slightly annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I realized later that the one I had initially picked out wasn't flattering on me," Arin replies, not sounding very apologetic.

You quirk an eyebrow, "Hmm, that's so weird because you kept saying how it made you look so good back at the store!" A fake smile on display, you brush past her and make your way toward your boyfriend, struggling to button up his shirt.

"Be nice," He whispers. You finish buttoning up his shirt and reach up to smack him on the forehead. He could be really stupid.

You tried to brush it off, for Jungkook's sake, and you all headed out to dinner. During the meal, Arin kept trying to talk to Jungkook, ignoring you completely. Gritting your teeth at another one of her aggravating laughs, you settle a hand on Jungkook's shoulder, excusing yourself to the bathroom.

Resting your hands on the sink, you try to catch your breath. One, two, three. Breathe in, breathe out. One, two, three. Feeling a lot better now and not like you were going to throw a plate at the annoying girl, you splash some water on your face. You hear the creak of the bathroom door opening, and you tense up, fearing it is the one person you don't want to see.

"Oh my god, y/n, you need to come back right now. I can't stand being near that wench for another second." Jennie whines, reaching to wrap her arms around your waist. With a sigh of relief, you turn around to crush her into a hug.

"Girl, I might throw myself out of the balcony any second. She's being so weird with Jungkook!" You whine back, causing the girls to nod.

"I noticed. If she did that with Jimin, trust me she would be lost at sea." Jiyeon giggles, brushing my hair out of my face. You smile weakly at her, and the three of you link arms and return to the table.

"There's our girls!" Taehyung announces, getting the table's attention. Jungkook immediately looking over, reaching an arm out toward you and pouting his lips. You grab his arm and lean down to give him a light kiss, and he smiles into it.

"You okay, baby?" He asks. You reply with a curt nod. He frowns, noticing your obvious mood shift, yet before he can ask you what's up, his attention is again on Arin as she continues talking about whatever the hell she is talking about.

As the night went on, you started to feel increasingly uncomfortable. You noticed that Arin honestly did not care. She looked so pathetic, reaching over to slap a hand on his thigh as she laughed. Yet, you knew you looked even more pathetic just watching your boyfriend letting it happen. After dinner, you all headed back to the hotel. You and Jungkook return to your room, and you sigh in relief once your back hits the bed. Jungkook follows suit, the two of you lying silently and staring at the ceiling.

"Hey," He says, effectively getting your attention.

"Hm?" You ask, looking over at him. He sighs, reaching his arm up to cup your cheek.

"I'm sorry we haven't been able to spend time alone today." He whispers. Your heart melts at his large, apologetic eyes. You hum, turning your body to face him better.

"It's okay, baby. I can't say I'm not sad. It's been so long since we've been alone together." You pout, his thumb reaching down to tuck it back into place.

"We're alone now," He smiles, and you nod. He leans in, drapes a leg over your body to tug you closer, and kisses you. You two get lost in each other's touch, but a knock comes from the door before it can get any further.

You pull apart, chests heaving, and Jungkook pats your thigh as he gets up to answer it. You don't even act surprised at who stands on the other side.

"Hey, Jungkook, can I talk to you for a second?" Arin asks.

"Uh, sure," Jungkook says, looking confused. He looks back at you, smiling apologetically, before following after her.

You wait a few minutes, but when they don't return, you can't ignore your racing heartbeat and decide to see what is happening. As you turn the corner, you face one of the worst sights you've ever seen. Arin kissing Jungkook. You wouldn't be surprised if a heart-shaped hole manifested under you because you were sure it fell out and sank to the first floor.

"Jungkook?" You whisper. The pair break apart, Arin gazing up at you with wide eyes, yet not as wide as your startled boyfriend's.

"No, Y/N, it's not what it looks like," Jungkook tries to explain. You hold a hand up to silence him. You didn't notice you were crying until tears started falling onto your cheeks.

"I can't believe you would do this to me," You whimper out, shaking your head and turning around, running back to the room. You barricade yourself inside, holding your head as you sob your heart out.

You packed your bags that night and left the trip early, ignoring everyone's phone calls.

Back home, you were heartbroken. You try to wrap your head around why? He told you, no, he promised you he would never cheat on you. That was the last thing on his mind, or so you thought. You beat yourself up, how could you be so stupid? He was practically cheating on you that whole trip. That kiss was just the nail in the coffin.

Unbeknownst to you, your girlfriends had let Arin have it. They called her all the names in the book, cementing whose side they were on. Jungkook wasn't free from their criticism either. They had read him to filth, which resulted in their boyfriends having to drag them away before they legitimately beheaded him. They decided to end their trip short, too.

A day after you left, the group decided to all come to your apartment at once. They could see some unresolved explanations to be said, and if Jungkook's incessant crying was any indicator, maybe you had gotten it all wrong. One part of it was to have everyone explain their side uninterrupted. The other part was that if there wasn't some sort of mediator, they were sure you would throw your microwave at Jungkook and Arin's heads.

It leads you all here. Silent, sitting in your living room. You stare at the wall, trying to avoid Jungkook's piercing gaze. You know he's fighting every bone in his body not to jump over the coffee table and hug you. He always hated when you cried. You almost feel bad, his red-rimmed eyes and distraught demeanor tugging at your heartstrings. You remind yourself that he cheated on you and doesn't deserve your pity.

After a while, Arin clears her throat, getting everyone's attention. You set your pointed gaze on her, waiting to hear the stupidity about to come out of her mouth.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I never meant to hurt you. I just couldn't help my feelings for Jungkook," Arin says, tears in her eyes. Oh? You were confused. Is she admitting that Jungkook didn't cheat on you? You look over at him, and he nods.

"She's right, Y/N. I would never cheat on you. Arin kissed me, and I would've pushed her away! I swear! But you walked in as soon as she kissed me. I didn't even have time to process what had just happened." He's pleading, inching closer to the edge of his seat, almost as if he would pounce on you at any second.

You sigh, sitting up. You look at Arin first. "Arin," you begin. "I've put up with your antics for as long as I can remember. I always knew you liked Jungkook, but I set my feelings aside because I know how important you two are to each other. But this? This was too far. You kissed my boyfriend, Arin. MY boyfriend. You had no right to do that."

She bows her head, muttering another small apology. You turn to Jungkook. "Jungkook. I communicated with you about my feelings regarding your friendship with her. You told me she wasn't a problem, that she wouldn't try anything. Look where that ended us up." He bites his lip, nodding his head in agreement.

You sigh again. "Arin, I forgive you. I know you and Jungkook have been friends for such a long time, and that maybe that manifested into love or whatever, but I need to make one thing clear. If I want my relationship to work out with Jungkook, I need you to stay away from us for the time being. Not for forever, but for a while." She hesitates before nodding, looking toward Jungkook, yet he doesn't even spare her a glance.

"I forgive you too," You say, looking at Jungkook. "But you need to agree with my proposition to make this work. If you can't do that, I really don't want to even bother giving you a second chance."

"Of course." He says almost instantly. You nod.

The rest of your friends pipe up, apologizing for any part they may have played in the situation and promising to support you all in any way they could.

After everyone had left, you and Jungkookwere finally alone. The two of you sit down on the couch, and you let out a tense breath.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook says, taking your hand. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know," you reply, tears still in your eyes. "I just...I can't believe that happened."

"I promise you, Y/N, I love you and only you," Jungkook says, looking into your eyes. "Arin's feelings for me don't change that."

You took a deep breath and leaned into him. You knew he was right. Your love for each other was strong enough to overcome any obstacle, even something as painful as this.

"I love you too, Jungkook," you assured, feeling a weight lift off your chest.

You sat there for a while, just holding each other and talking about what had happened. The two of you agreed that you needed to be more mindful of boundaries in your friendships and that you would work together to make sure nothing like this ever happened again.

As the night wore on, you decided to order food and spend the rest of the evening together. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you were both determined to move past this and come out stronger on the other side.

Arin did eventually come back into your life many, many months later. Thankfully, you all had another conversation in which you reaffirmed your boundaries, and she graciously agreed to them. In the end, your love for each other only grew. You had weathered a brutal storm but came out on the other side more committed to each other than ever before.

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live-laugh-lenney · 1 month

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Thinking about george as a husband now 😭😭

For some reason in my head when it gets to the time where they’re considering having a baby, george is the one who brings it up and wants it first, he’s the one dropping hints and talking about it while his wife is just living her life 😭😭

this turned into some angst... unsure why but enjoy!

"i found a new desk for you."

"i don't need a desk?" george questions, looking over his shoulder to see his wife leaning up against the doorframe to their spare room, his editing for a new youtube channel video going forgotten about on his laptop once her voice broke the silence he was sitting in, "i have one right here."

"i thought we could redecorate in here," she suggests, arms folded over her chest and her eyes wandering from where he was sat in his revolving chair to the empty space around him. the bare walls white and bright once the sunlight filtered through the window, the carpet still looking brand-new and untouched, not a single piece of furniture to give it an office-feel. "it's quite boring for you, no?"

"i figured we could use this room for something else," he admits softly and he pushes his feet into the carpet to push himself out from under his desk, turning in the seat to face her properly, "two bedrooms and all. one for us, one for... i don't know, one for a baby, maybe."

"a baby?"

he nods shyly and she stares at him, eyes wide and her mouth gaped open, her mind going blank for a response to his admission.

they'd only been married for less than six months and they'd only just moved into a brand new building; where they'd lived in her flat for the majority of their engagement, they wanted something completely brand-new. something that had both of their names on the lease and had both of their names on the bills.

"babe, did you-"

"i heard you," she interrupts him and he gulps back the thick lump that was forming in his throat, "george, i-"

"you're not ready, i know. i'm just saying," he stands from his chair and walks over to stand in front of her, "in the future, i mean. when it does happen, and we do end up having a baby, it's a good idea to just be prepared."

"but, i don't know right now," she sighs heavily, "of course, i want to have babies with you. have mini clarke's running around. but we're still young, george. we've got the rest of our twenties to think about having a family."

"i know," he smiles softly, bringing his hands to cup her face in his palms, "i'm just telling you i'm ready. i'm waiting. whenever you want a baby, i'm game."

"okay," she nods, tilting her head into the touch of his left hand, his thumb brushing soft strokes across her cheek, "but we can't leave the room with just a desk and a chair in here, george. we should, at least, add a some new furniture or something. it still feels brand new and we've been here for three months already."

"show me this desk then," he snickers softly.

and that's that for the conversation.

and george didn't want to dwell on the topic anymore knowing what he feelings were towards the next step of their relationship. he was willing to wait until she was ready, willing to talk about their options if she wasn't, willing to stand by her side as she figures her own life out as well as the life they were building together.

but sometimes, all he wants to do is talk about his future.

with the wife of his dreams, someone he loves and someone who can understand him in ways others can't, he was the happiest man in the world. the smile on his face looked like it could split him in two when he realised he got to go home to her at the end of the day. knowing he gets to hold her whenever he wants to give her a hug and to kiss her whenever he wanted a cheeky kiss in passing. making dinner for her when she's had a long day and starting his day with a breakfast made by her. getting to see her walk through the door in the evenings and getting to hear her drop her keys into the bowl on the side table once she arrived back from work. getting to cuddle on the sofa as re-runs of their favourite shows play on the television.

it was the life he had envisioned.

but deep down, of course, he wanted a baby.

"so, george," max starts off, watching as his useless hotline co-host took a sip of his drink from the mug in his hand, "we're nearing a year since the wedding. how on earth has it gone that fast?"

"i don't remember you at the end of the altar in the wedding dress," george retorts with a hint of sarcasm dripping from his mouth and he snickers softly at the swift middle finger thrown in his direction from the blonde-haired boy opposite, "but yes. it's been nine months. gone too fast, honestly. i'd do anything to go back to that day."

"it was a gorgeous ceremony," max says, resting his elbows on the desk beneath him and resting his chin on his hands, "i doubt you had anything to do with that."

george snorts and shakes his head in his direction.

"i did, thank you very much," he insists, "i helped choose our venue. i chose the colour scheme and i chose what flowers we had for each person in our wedding parties. with some guided assistance by yn but she let me choose the final part."

and it was true.

yn was impressed at how he had taken an interest in everything they needed to plan for their wedding day; everything except the wedding dress which she refused to let him know anything about. a stickler for the superstitions that came with getting married and he was more than okay with that. she loved how involved he had been, how much he listened and how he had everything planned out in his head... she was, at least, excepting herself to do a lot of the organising but felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders when he offered his own ideas to help ease her mind.

it was their day and he wanted it to feel like it.

"is there any talk of babies yet? we can only hope that there are mini-yn's running around instead of mini-george's," max cackles and all george can muster is a roll of his eyes, "is that a roll of the eyes at the question or at me?"

"at you," george says with no hesitation, a smirk on his lips, "we've touched on the subject briefly. yn just wants to enjoy being young and free, enjoy us as a married couple, enjoy our twenties before we get tied down with babies and the responsibility of raising someone in this world."

"but what about you?"

"what about me?"

"you said yn wants to enjoy life right now but what about you?" max asks and george feels his cheeks heat up, telling himself to blame it on the lights and the heat of the room if anyone picked up on the matter, "i'm surprised you didn't knock her up on your honeymoon."

"i mean," george shrugs and sits back in his chair, bringing the mic with him as he moved further from the tabletop, "we did a lot of practicing on the honeymoon, anywhere and any chance we had, if you get my drift," he laughs loudly and max pulls a face of disgust, "no, i'd love kids. i'd love a baby, of course i would. a little bit me and a little bit of yn mixed into one human being. it's a dream."

"but?"

"but nothing," george insists, "like i said, we're just finding our feet in the world of marriage, it's only been nine months, so we want to take time in creating a family."

"uh-huh," max nods slowly, dropping the subject there and then to save any awkward conversations later on, "practicing is just as fun as the real thing, anyway. once you have a baby, it all stops."

"like you'd know," george retorts and max covers his heart with his hand, "anyway..."

the tension in their flat was thick enough to suffocate them.

when he'd come home from a chrismd video shoot down at the local 3g football pitch, for a football video that would go out on his channel in the near future, he was met with the silent treatment from his wife. confused and unsure of what he'd done, he tried to coax it out of her but to no avail... until she burst on him when she couldn't contain her emotions for much longer.

"you just need to talk about it, don't you?"

"talk about what?"

"you just can't drop the fact that i don't want a baby right now, can you?" her voice is thick with anger, her cheeks bright red and her eyes were dark and he honestly wanted the ground to swallow him whole so he didn't have to look at her. "what don't you understand about my feelings, george?"

"i understand you clearly," he responds only to receive a scoff back in his face and it was evident to him that she'd listened to the newest podcast episode that was scheduled for release that day, "what?"

"i told you how i felt, three months ago, george. i told you i wanted to wait to have kids, i told you we had the rest of our twenties to figure everything out, i told you i wanted to live my life without any heavy responsibilities," and he noticed that when she was angry, she used her hands to accentuate her words, his eyes focusing on the way her fingers scrunched up and how she pointed her pointer finger at him everytime she referred to him, "but you speak about it on the podcast and think i'd be okay with that?"

his gulps are thick as he tries to find the right words to say... although he knew, in that moment, anything he said was going to be ignored.

"i'm not okay with that," she grumbles heavily, shaking her head at him and he felt a pain in his chest like a knife had pierced through his ribs, "it's private information, george. our private life. we spoke about this."

"max asked me-"

"you could have ignored the question, told him you wanted to keep that to yourself," the tea-towel in her hand got thrown on the island in the middle of their kitchen area after she'd finished drying off her wet hands and her feet padded across the floor of their open-plan front room, in the direction of the dining table where she'd laid out plates and cutlery for their dinner, "why are you making me out to be a bad person?"

"i'm not-"

"you are!"

"please don't shout at me when i have no idea what's going on," he tells her and he can see her pause for a moment before continuing to clear up the dinner table, "what are you doing? dinner's done soon."

"i'm eating in the bedroom," she mumbles lowly, "i don't want to sit at the table and look at you right now. i'm angry with you."

"okay," he admits defeat, his words full of remorse and upset, and as toes off the trainers on his feet, he swears he can hear her mutter something beneath her breath but he couldn't bear to bring himself to ask what, "call me when dinners done. i've got some work to do so i'll be in the office most of tonight."

she hums in response and he bends over to pick his trainers up from the floor, walking into the entryway of their home and setting them down on floor beside her work shoes, and it kills him to walk away from her when all he wants is to work things out and argue until both of them are blue in the face. he can hear the gentle intakes of breath as she tries to calm herself down and he takes one last glance at her, as she rounds the island and steps back in front of the oven, and he can feel his stomach aching from the guilt that was building up.

he never meant to upset her.

he didn't think he said anything wrong... but it dawned on him how it may have sounded to her. how his words came out with the intention of answering the question as bluntly as possible without giving away their own private talks and could have been taken the wrong way by yn and how she felt targeted with the topic.

but for now, as much as he wanted to apologise, they needed a bit of time apart for the night

he's deep in thought when he hears a knock on the door.

his eyes were stinging from the bright light of the laptop screen that sat open before him and his hand was cramping from the way he was holding his pen tight in his hand, his notebook full of scribbles about upcoming video ideas he could do for his channel and who he wanted as a guest on each one, the silence being so comforting that he was knocked out of his distant look once the sound had disrupted him.

"george?"

he looks over his shoulder and sees yn standing in the doorway. one of his t-shirts hanging down her figure, a pair of tube socks on her feet to keep her toes warm, and a knitted blanket tucked around her shoulders and dragging across the floor behind her. in the bright light of the screen illuminating the room, he can see her wet cheeks and he feels his heart break.

"i'm sorry," he whispers softly and she shakes her head, "no, baby. i am. i should have just dropped the subject when you told me how you felt."

"no, i shouldn't have overreacted earlier."

he turns in his chair and sets his pen down on his notebook, giving his thighs a pat as an invitation for her to come and sit down with him, smiling warmly when she accepted his offer and walked towards him. enveloping her in a tight hug and adjusting himself in his seat as she wraps her arms around his shoulders and curls up on his lap.

"you have feelings, just as much as me," she admits, bringing a hand up to tickle her fingers across his cheeks, "you understood how i felt so i need to understand how you feel."

"but it's a big life decision and i should respect your feelings more," he says and she frowns, "besides, i'm not the one who has to go through all the changes with a pregnancy. i won't be one to develop a bump, i won't go through the emotional changes, i won't have to actually give birth to the baby and deal with the pain. that's all you."

there's a comfortable silence that lingers in the air and she sighs just to break it.

"i know how badly you want a baby," yn admits, "and i do want babies with you, george. not just one but four. there's nothing i want more. but, right now, we have so much of our life to live together. lots we can do before we have a little one running around, so many places to go and see. don't take me not wanting a baby right now as me not wanting babies at all. i want a baby george running around."

"i know," he presses a kiss to her forehead and lets his lips linger on her skin, "i want to enjoy us a little more, too."

"i'm sorry for my outburst," she hides her face in the crook of his neck and he shakes his head softly, "i was just... scared, i guess."

"i'm not going anywhere, little rascal," he murmurs into her hair, "you are stuck with me, i'm afraid."

"there's scarier people in the world to be stuck with," she jokes and looks up at him, his mouth dropping open, "i'm kidding." xx

#george clarkey #george clarkey imagines #george clarkley blurbs #george clarkey fics #george clarkey headcannons #george clarke #george clarke imagines #george clarke blurbs #george clarke fics #george clarke headcannons

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sillysillygoofygoose · 10 months

Text

Musician Dilf Miguel O'hara x Reader HCs

MDNI!! (Large age gape, thinking of making a nsfw part two!!) I have not been able to get this out of my head 😩 I have so much to say, so let's begin! He's very soft in this one <3

Musician Dilf Miguel, who started his career MUCH later than others in the industry. After years of sorting out a very messy divorce, he realized that even though he's just broken the barrier between 39 and 40, he has too much life left to live it unhappily. He began writing songs, poems, and relearning the guitar.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who got a small gig on Friday nights, singing at a cafe you work at. You can't help but become entranced by the older man, distracted every Friday while attempting to pay off at least a bit of your student debt.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who despite his strong build and serious demeanor, sings melancholic and slow songs. He strums away at a mahogany acoustic guitar, his voice singing softly into the shoddy microphone, smooth like honey. His cheeks are flushed slightly from the strong heating in the small perimeters of the cafe. He pours out his most painful and private emotions, thick fingers creating a delicate melody under his meaningful lyrics.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who begins keeping you company every week while you close up the shop. You caught his eye just as quickly as he caught yours. Sometimes, it feels like he's singing to you. He can't help it, once his eyes meet yours, he just can't break it. The two of you quickly click, making conversation as you wipe down the counters. Miguel always insists on helping, and you always insist on saying no.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who you started seeing romantically a couple of months after his first gig. He's never met someone that makes him feel the way you do (not even his ex-wife 😬). One Tuesday evening, just before closing, you hear a small bell as the door opens. You huff, rolling your eyes at the person who ignored the CLOSED sign displayed in the window, "I'm sorry, we're 10 minutes from closing-" As you turn to look at the unwanted customer, your eyes quickly light up as you see an almost shy Miguel, hiding half of his blushing face with a huge bouquet of deep red flowers, his prominent cheeks matching the tint. You walk over to him, wiping your busy hands on the apron tied around your hips. "What's all this for?" You ask as he extends his strong arms pushing the flowers to your chest. "Dinner?" Was the only thing he could mutter out. It's hard to believe this is the same man who pours his heart out on stage.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who you encouraged to quit his dead-end office job after being offered a contract. He spent months hopping around different bars and cafes taking advantage of open mic nights. He's not the type to take risks though. The thought of a music career flopping after quitting his steady job made him sick to his stomach. You were the one to push him to follow his dreams. "Do what you think will make your heart happy. I'll be here no matter what happens."

No one has ever said that to him before.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who quickly BLOWS UP. He released his debut album after signing with a label, unsure if it was the right move. However, his doubts were soon soothed after he grew a massive fan base. You tease him after his debut album sold a whopping 3 million copies, telling him you knew he could do it.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who can't stand anything that has to do with publicity, but damn is he good at it. Advertisements, photoshoots, interviews, you name it, he's incredible. Miguel is as charming as ever in interviews, making viewers at home swoon and rush to stream his latest song. Although he hates to admit it, he was born for this.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who writes most of his songs about you. Despite the millions of fan-girls, or the pretty celebrities he's surrounded by at events, the only girl he has eyes for is you. A love song he wrote for your 1 year anniversary became one of his most popular, charting almost immediately. Comments ranged from melody lovers, to desperate, feral fan-girls.

"I need the tabs for the guitar part at 2:37"

"Use the like button as here before 50 million"

"Find yourself a man like this 🥺"

"I'm 68 years old this year. Haven't heard music like this in a long time. He must really love that girl... reminds me of my late wife 👍"

"He's such a dilf 😩😩I need this man RELIGIOUSLY. I want to wear his skin."

It's safe to say he's quite popular.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who loves to show you off, slinging his arm around your shoulder when he spots a paparazzi. You're favorite new pass time is looking at news articles, laughing at the ridiculous nature of them all.

"Who is y/n l/n? Everything we know about Miguel O'hara's girlfriend."

"Fourty three and twenty five: The hottest celebrity age gaps"

"New it-girl alert! Y/N L/N, Miguel O'hara's girlfriend shows off stylish new nail trend in latest Instagram post."

"Y/N L/N shows off legs in new poolside pics... Click here to see photos!"

"Watch: Miguel O'hara gushes over girlfriend in latest interview, 'She's my muse'."

"Since the beginning: The unlikely and adorable love story of Miguel O'hara and Y/N L/N"

The press loves your relationship (for the most part). Sometimes, the attention is overwhelming, but it's almost always entertaining. Miguel constantly reassures you that if anything upsets you, he can easily take care of it.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who loves when you attend his concerts, eyes searching for yours in the sea of devoted fans. He has to actively stop himself from staring at you throughout the entirety of the show.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who tightly holds your hand as the winner of Album of the Year is about to be announced. He couldn't even focus on his nerves for half the night, too busy thinking about how beautiful you looked in your custom Chanel dress, but now it's all sinking in.

"And the Grammy goes to... 'Un Amor Más Fuerte Que Los Diamantes', Miguel O'hara!"

As applause explodes throughout the room, it's muffled out by the pure adrenaline coursing through you veins. The two of you jump out of your chairs and immediately, Miguel's arms are wrapped around your waist, squeezing you tight. You hold him, quickly kissing him, before ushering him to get up on stage. His usual stoic expression is broken as he smiles bigger than ever. Miguel looks at you while making his speech, thanking you for believing in him and telling you that he loves you more than anything.

Musician Dilf Miguel, who took you engagement ring shopping the very next day.

Hope you enjoyed! Xoxo

#miguel x reader #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderman #size difference #age difference #miguel headcanons #dilf miguel

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prolix-yuy · 10 months

Text

Chapter 4: I Had to Face the Journey Before Me

Pairing: Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x F!Reader “Sugar”

Summary: He's only turning your world upside-down.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Now we're really going to Angstville, a million questions and SOME answers, brief description of a panic attack, will be E in later chapters so full series is 18+ MINORS DNI.

Notes: It's time for another (and better) face to face, though they're not on easy street just yet. We're starting to get into the beefy chapters now, and while they've got a lot of talking to do I hope you'll also enjoy the tensionnnnnn. Thank you to the Discord besties for giving me the best inspiration for Jack's ranch, and some of its inhabitants. Without further ado, the much-anticipated conversation!

Cross-posted on AO3

Decoherence Masterlist || Whiskey & Westworld Masterlist

The steering wheel is sticky with sweat, slicking your palms the closer you get to your destination. Jack gave you an address, followed by verbal directions “once you get past civilization.” You’d just passed that point, heading through an open fence and down a dirt road where the GPS could no longer follow. He said it would be about five more minutes after that, and “you can’t miss it.”

The tug in your chest, like a fishing line pulling you closer and closer, is terrifying and exhilarating.

You’d had plenty of time to contemplate what seeing Jack again might be like. After you checked into your room, you sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wide wooden floorboards for at least an hour. The bed and breakfast you rented for the long weekend is cozy, just outside the town center. It’s classically furnished with a four poster bed, dark cherry dresser and oversized reading chair. The proprietor, a middle aged blonde woman named Michelle who gave you a no-nonsense vibe, had offered to light the fireplace but you refused.

“What time would you like breakfast tomorrow?” she asked as you were leaving. An innocuous question, but one that dried out your mouth. You had planned to come back here after speaking with Jack, ruminate on what he might share, but having to commit to it makes a confusing swirl of emotion build behind your eyes.

“8am, if that’s no trouble.”

Now, mere minutes away from being face to face with the person who’d turned your life upside down yet again, that commitment is a comforting blanket. You have a way out in case it doesn’t go well, someone who will notice where you’ve gone. Well, someone else at least. Lacey knew you were here, though not precisely why.

“Are you sure you want to meet some guy you’ve only known for a few months? I know Match is pretty reputable, but you’re flying to him. Do you have a plan B if he’s a big old catfish?”

A small lie, but Lacey’s concern is not far off from your own.

“If it’s terrible, I’ll bail. I know it sounds a little crazy, especially after the past year, but…it’s the first thing I’ve been excited about in what feels like forever.”

She squeezes your shoulders, giving you a kind smile.

“Sometimes, it’s good to do something a little crazy.”

This probably isn’t what she meant.

Cresting over a small hill, the house comes into view. You’ve become so accustomed to the city - skyscrapers, men and women in fresh-pressed suits, corporate coffee shops and endless headlights - that the landscape breathes renewal into your chest. The vista is dotted in reds and ochres, ironwood trees giving cover to the hard-packed dirt. Tiny dark lines of fences dot across the hills, the road carving a deep rut to a ranch house.

Where Sweetwater had been a manufactured ideal of what the western countryside should be, Jack somehow found its true form. The boards and shingles are weathered to a faded brown that nestles into the landscape. A sizable portico shelters a few chairs and a porch swing that’s just whimsical enough to bring a smile to your lips. A barn constructed in much the same style stands proudly a short distance away, and a rough wood fence sections off plots. There’s another machine barn housing what you think is a tractor, tire treads cut into the dirt.

Pulling your car up beside a faded blue pickup truck, you shut off the engine and take a moment to breathe. You already feel like you’re a world away from your life, just like the first steps into Westworld. But instead of the tamped-down excitement you held then, a heavy dread presses your anticipation low. How does this all exist at the hands of a man who is nothing like anything around him?

Finally shaking out your hands and checking yourself in the mirror, you open your car door to a curious brown and white Jack Russell terrier peering up from the dirt. The sudden intrusion makes you bark out a laugh, leaning down as his mouth opens and his tongue flops out.

“Well hello there,” you say, earning a sneeze and wag of its short chestnut-tipped tail. It backs up enough to let you step out, sniffing at the car tires and sitting primly while you stretch your back. When you extend your hand for a sniff, it whuffles on your fingertips before making three quick circles with a yip.

Chuckling, you take in a deep breath and the landscape in front of you bursts into color and sound. The shifting whistle of sand on the wind. Verdant greens twisting around tree branches. Hay, soil, tin, and baking sun tangling in your nostrils. A nicker and snort, far away, that makes your heart clench at the thought of horses.

The terrier trots off to climb the porch steps, looking behind like he’s expecting you to follow. Your feet propel you forward, each step crunching under your shoes letting a weight ease on your back. There are worlds so much bigger and bolder than this, but now in this moment, even with all that waits behind the door, answers feel closer than ever.

You reach out and knock three times, then wait.

The door swings open, and it’s Jack, but so much more than the man you remembered. Dark-washed jeans taper to scuffed and faded boots, dirt ground into the knees. The brown plaid he’s wearing has a handful of open buttons by his neck, exposing a long line of dewy skin from his collarbone to his throat, swallowing hard. His thick dark hair is parted and combed neatly, soft waves framing his face. His hand grips the edge of the door, knuckles going white.

“Hey,” he says, small smile on his lips and trepidation painting his face. Your own must be showing just as clearly. “Thank you for coming.” You nod and shuffle on the porch, hands wringing nervously. Scolding yourself, you forcibly drop them to your side.

At your heels, the terrier yips and clambors into the open door. The corner of Jack’s mouth turns up.

“I see you met Russell already. He tends to be the better host.” Jack rubs the back of his neck and it’s so endearing you almost forget the frustration and trepidation.

“He gave me a warm welcome. Though his name isn’t that imaginative,” you tease lightly, the words coming easy to mind.

“Well, we sure as hell couldn’t have two Jacks around here, could we?” he replies. A soft giggle blankets you before falling silent again. Jack’s eyes roam, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“Would you like to talk out here on the porch? Or come in?” he asks, stepping back enough for you to see the hall stretching behind him. Taking a deep breath, you will your voice to steady.

“Inside is fine,” you manage, and Jack backs up to let you in. Stepping over the threshold brings your shoulder close to his chest, heat prickling at your skin. He closes the door behind you, then nods quickly to follow him in.

For someone you always considered a man’s man from his bravado and showmanship, his home is warmly decorated. Passing by the living room, the couch is oversized and slouchy with a well-worn recliner facing a modest TV. Dark woven rugs warm the wide-planked oak floors, gauzy curtains sandwiched between windowpanes and cream drapes. Russell’s nails click on the hardwood as Jack gives him a little nod and point. A showdown of puppy dog eyes and a stern nod finally sends a dejected pup to curl up on the couch, head propped on the armrest as you venture further in.

Jack leads you to the end of the hall and the heart of any home - the kitchen. The appliances are older, well used, with deeply scarred wooden counters and an impressive farmers sink under a window. The top cabinets look to have been recently sanded and prepped for stain to match the lower ones. Noticing your attention, Jack pipes up, “Caught me in the middle of a project.”

He’s got projects. He probably has TV shows he likes, a way he prefers his coffee. And looking at him as he pulls up another chair to the little kitchen table in the center of the room, it’s clear that he has a heart when he looks at you.

“Would you like something to drink? I’ve got iced tea, a few beers…” he rattles off as you scoot your chair up to the table edge. “Whiskey, if that’s not too on the nose.”

“Seems appropriate,” you muse, resting your wrists on the pale yellow plastic covering on the table. Jack huffs quietly, pulling down two short glasses and a bottle of Statesman from a high shelf. Pouring you a glass each, he sets them between and sits across. You take the glass between your hands, fingers circling the rim and lending some grounding to your racing thoughts.

“So…I might not have an answer to every question, but I can tell you as much as I know.” Jack’s voice, quiet and cautious, cuts through the air like an arrow to the heart. His posture is rigid, apprehensive, but not defensive. He probably thinks you’re still holding on to the notion that he’s human. He’s probably just as scared as you are of what this will bring.

“I guess…how long have you…known? Been sentient? Did you know when…” The words start to tumble out of your mouth as every question repeating in your brain vies for attention. “Fuck, I don’t know how to do this,” you say, hands coming up to massage your temples. Jack holds the tumbler between two fingers, twisting it on the table.

“You and me both, Sugar.”

“That!” you shout, hitting your palm on the table. Jack’s eyebrows shoot straight into his hairline. “That’s the problem. You waltz back in here and act like we’re still the same people as we were in there.” Your voice cracks as you cross your arms over your chest. “But we’re not. I have no idea who you are. What you are.”

“I’m still Jack,” he says, quieter. There’s pain in the creases around his eyes.

“Are you?” you ask, and it’s harsh, acidic in your mouth. “Who the fuck is Jack? I met someone that called themself Jack…in a world that wasn’t real. How can you be Jack here? Who the fuck is Jack in this…” You gesture to the farmhouse surrounding you. “...this place?”

Jack chews on nothing, eyes downturned and searching his glass. Your heart is fluttering in your chest, chin jutting out in a defiance that would shatter with a strong breeze. Jack takes in a deep breath and a fortifying sip of liquor.

“Whiskey is a construct of Delos. A man made for the story they wanted. Widowed, wife and child lost. Driven by grief and madness. A traitor doomed to die every. Single. Time.” Jack punctuates his words by tapping his cup to the table. Each knock is a death knell.

“Now Jack, Jack has nothing to do with that world. He grew up raising horses. Mom and Dad passed some years ago. Or so he tells people who ask. Trains working horses, some farm hand work. Sells his chickens’ eggs. Helps some of the older folk with the higher-tech harvesting equipment. Keeps to himself.”

Your fingers press into your glass, something to fortify you against the push and pull inside your chest.

“And which of those men did I…”

You swallow up the words that grip your heart.

“Both. Neither. I’d barely become when I met you. You left the bar with your friends, and Maeve…awakened me.” He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a barely-there sip, a slip of his tongue to catch the burn sending a frisson down your back. Little slips of memory - suave, confident, then cautious, unsure - dance along the edges.

“You felt different, between the bar and the wagons,” you say, taking a sip of your own. It’s nice, sweet on the tip of your tongue and full as it warms your chest. “It was just like that? One minute you’re Whiskey and the next you’re Jack?”

“Bit more complicated,” he muses, sardonic smile quirking his mustache. “I knew something was up, something was different, but it took time to figure it all out. I barely knew what to do with myself when I was with you.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you say, leaning back in the chair. “I guess you did. Felt like you knew exactly what to do to make everything…” You choke on the word perfect.

“Well that’s more Delos than me. The mesh network, the storylines. Once I could see it…” He falters, falls silent for a moment. When his eyes finally make it back to yours, they’re almost sheepish. “Sorry, not sure how much of this you want to know. I assume…you don’t feel the same way you did the last time we saw each other?”

You sigh, rubbing your temple. A dull ache scratches behind your eyes, the exhaustion of travel and the weight of conversation taking its toll.

“I talked to someone who gave me some perspective,” you finally say. Jack’s smile vanishes, replaced with a dead-set seriousness.

“You told someone about me?” he asks, and the fear in his voice clenches your chest.

“No, no, not like that. I spoke to an ex-Delos worker. She didn’t ask a lot of questions. But she gave me enough to know that you aren’t some predator.” Jack’s shoulders lower, but his hands are still nervous and tight.

“She didn't know you were coming here?”

“Only Lacey knows. And only where I am, not about you.” Jack finally releases, chewing on his lower lip.

“Sorry, it’s just…I’m not sure if they’re looking for me. For their property,” he spits out. In this idyllic little home so far away from the advances of society, more things start making sense.

“How long were you in the park after I left?”

“About a month. Maeve had an escape plan, but it took time…and sacrifices.”

The next question comes easily. In fact, most of what he’s saying now seems easier to accept.

“And then?”

Jack leans back in his chair, hands spread wide on the tabletop. His fingernail scratches at the surface, at some invisible stain that stands between his memories and you.

“Nothing could have prepared me for what this world looked like. I thought the hell I woke up in the first time was the worst thing I could imagine but…” Jack’s jaw tightens , shaking his head. “It was like waking from a dream into something cold and unforgiving. I tried to make my way but I got too close to the city and…” He waves his hands, fingers wiggling as he makes an explosion noise, “It was like something inside me set off every alarm. I ran until I couldn’t hear sirens. The land was more familiar to me than anything humans built.”

Another swig of liquor, almost draining his glass. “Managed to learn more about my predicament in lower tech places. It was easier to pass there. I figured out what I needed to be a man in this world, and set about doing it. With a brain like mine, lots of doors opened.”

“I didn’t even know places like this still existed.” Your eye catches on a cowboy hat resting on the kitchen counter, black and worn. Breath catching, you wonder why it never occurred to you that Jack wore a black hat. It practically screams “bad guy” in every old Western, yet he never struck you as such.

Maybe you should have realized sooner that you weren’t following a narrative with him.

“Took me some time to find it. I moved around a bit, tried the cities but…it was just too much, you know?” Jack shrugs one shoulder, and you can understand how a cowboy wouldn’t fit easily into a society that runs off of code and data and intangibles. Not when fresh air and a hard day’s work could be found.

There it is again, that pull in your chest. You recognize it from the moments right after you entered Westworld, the familiarity of a life spent outside, rough and unkempt. The relief of leaving the sleek and shiny behind for dirt under your fingernails. You clear your throat, knocking back the rest of your glass in an attempt to regain a grip on the practical nature of this meeting.

“But you made it. You’re…here. Free.”

Jack nods slowly.

“So are you. It seems.”

In five words the careful wall you built so sensibly around your heart, all the coaching and resolve you fortified it with, threatens to crumble. You’re free batters your teeth, and in the echo of that thought is the memory of long nights wondering if you made the wrong choice. The coldness of your bed, the quiet that pervaded with only you in the small apartment you moved to. Jack makes as if to reach for your hand, but stops short, letting his heavy one lay a respectable distance away.

“I wanted to go to you the first day. And every day after. But after seeing what I had to learn…I knew I couldn’t burden you with that. I had to figure out who I was first.”

Your heart pumps so hard you’re sure it will break. When has someone ever had a burden they didn’t want to place on you? How much had you shouldered from the people around you, without even thinking hard about it?

“And then when I was ready, I didn’t know if you were.” The crease between your brows made Jack stumble on. “I mean, I didn’t know how much of your story was true. And I didn’t want to barge in and say something stupid if your life was peachy keen without…me.”

Say something stupid, Jack, your weary mind begs, but your pride won’t allow.

“So I got myself an identity, a job, this house. It’s close to the paradise I wanted. Or, that Whiskey wanted. I guess it’s good enough for me to want it too. And I waited.”

“Until?”

The scrawl between the lines of your question is faint, but Jack reads it well enough.

“I took a long time to ask myself if I wanted to drag you into this. As you’ve discovered, nothing about this is easy.” Jack pours another glass for himself, raising his eyebrows at you. Nodding, he pours two fingers into your glass and settles his elbows on the table. “But one day, it felt like it was time to at least try.”

Your throat is sticky and sore, the next sip of whiskey burning more than clearing the way for your words.

“How did you find me?” you ask, the question finally bubbling up after weeks of torturing yourself. Jack’s eyes flick to your face, and the uncertainty comes out in his hands.

“I didn’t have much,” he says, standing up and walking to his modest off-white fridge. He slips a magnet off of something, carrying it back to the table. It’s a small square, black with white borders, a thicker one on the bottom. Your breath freezes in your lungs as he places it in your hands.

The polaroid Lacey took over a year ago. It’s worn, a permanent scuff on the bottom right corner, the shine worn from the photo in places.

Like listening underwater, Jack’s voice drifts to you.

Had your first name, nothing else

What would have happened if you never went?

Talked to a private investigator

Where would you be now? Married? Bound by duty? Resigned to a life that never gave you enough?

Took months

What the hell were you doing?

Suddenly you can’t sit anymore, can barely be in this house, next to this man who can’t stop turning your world inside out. Stumbling to your feet you drop the polaroid like it’s burned you, hand coming up to press against your lips. Jack’s eyes are wide and alarmed but you’re too busy trying to decide if screaming or running is what’s tearing your body apart.

“Sugar?”

“Don’t call me that!” you shout, the cacophonous energy finally finding release. With it come tears as you try to speak through your clenched throat and hitching breaths. “You can’t…this can’t be…I need…I can’t breathe,” you heave, sprinting for the front door. Slamming it open, you clatter onto the front porch, the small step out of the doorway startling your weak knees. You crumple, sitting hard on the worn slats and letting the heaving sobs shake your body. Jack’s voice booming your name follows your path, heavy boots and the skitter of Russell’s paws coming to a stop beside you.

“I’m sorry, darlin’, I thought it might be too much,” he murmurs, kneeling just far enough away. You can’t bring yourself to look at him yet, the cries rough and guttural as you try to get the panic under control. Russell plants his paws in your lap and licks at your face, letting you cup his small head in your hands.

You’d taken so much time telling yourself that Jack didn’t matter, that your decision to leave wasn’t because of him. He wasn’t an infidelity, he was a wake-up call that you’d been unhappy for so long. You couldn’t use him as a crutch. You had to own your choices, and it made you stronger, happier every day since.

Reaching out, your hand collides with soft flannel and a beating heart. Fingers curling, you fist the fabric as you lift your head, and you finally let a voice inside speak for the first time in so long.

Because a tiny part of you, so small you buried it under everything else you used to cope, left your fiancé for a man who you could not let yourself believe was real.

Except now, he is, and he’s looking at you like he can’t believe you’re in front of him either.

“Jack…” you croak out, leaning forward.

“I’m here,” he croons, and you’re surrounded by comforting arms and your nose pressed into a shoulder. He pulls you in tight, one hand cupping the back of your head while the other wraps around your waist. Russell paws at your pant leg and presses his wet nose to your elbow. A few hiccuping sobs trail off as Jack holds you, the faint whinny and thud of horse hooves and chickens worrying soothing you further.

When the shoulder of his flannel is sufficiently soaked and your back starts to ache, you let Jack help you to your feet. He still hovers, released from your embrace but still chest to chest as he searches your features. Hurriedly you wipe your nose and cheeks, your face hot under the effort of crying your eyes out. Tentatively, he takes your chin between two fingers and tilts your eyes to meet him.

“I’m sorry, I know there’s a lot we still have to talk about…” he starts, but you wave him off.

“Yes, yeah, I just…I think I need to take a break. Get my head around this,” you interrupt. Jack’s hand falls, chewing the inside of his lip. He even takes a step back, your body unconsciously drifting towards him. Your logical mind snaps you back to attention.

“You’re close by?” Jack asks, a nod in return. “In town?” Another nod. Your lips are numb and you’re not sure you can manage much more talking. Jack nods himself before leading you down the steps and to your car. You scrub your face one more time, turning to say…what? Goodbye? I’ll call you? But Jack intercedes.

“I have to run some errands in town tomorrow. Maybe you’d like to come along? I can show you the rest of the ranch too, if you feel up to it.”

Staring into Jack’s hopeful half-smile, there’s only one answer you can give.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

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