#i dont even have autumn here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovingmattysposts · 5 months

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Eastside 3

P1 P2 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17

pairing: y/n and matt sturniolo

summary: growing up in the outskirts of Boston wasn't really pretty. Life wasn't that great for most people, most people. You had Matt and no one fucked with you when Matt was standing by your side. The chief's daughter and the bad boy deliquent. A perfect love story?

Warnings: THIS IS ALL FICTIONAL. NONE OF THIS IS REAL IM JUST TELLING A STORY. a mention of doing hard drugs (not in detail) just the effects of it. It’s kind of like breaking bad if you’ve watched that. Please do not read if mentions of drugs is not your thing. This is the only part with mentions of being on hard drugs. suggestive, fighting, drug deals, angst, fluff

dont take this too seriously, i know matt would never do coke its just a part of the story, its just a character ❤️

xoxo autumn

matt pov

“Here” I said throwing the bag onto the table in front of him. Slim looked from the bag and then to me before standing up slightly. I just watched him. My gaze fixated on him.

If he tried anything I had a gun in my belt.

“You seem too pretty to be in a business like this” He said staring me down. I clenched my jaw. I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to be with my girlfriend. I wasn’t staying around to play games with a 30-year-old druggie.

“What? You got a crush on me or something?” I snapped staring at him. The two guys behind him stepped forward before Slim held his hands up to pause them.

I just stared at Slim.

“Watch it pretty boy” He snapped at me. He moved around the table to stand up to me. “If I’m not wrong, you’re about four days late on this delivery. Your brothers made it very clear that I would have this package before today.” He said staring down at me.

“So I wouldn’t be so chippy when you speak to me” He snapped. I wasn’t intimidated by him. Not much scared me. He did not scare me.

“Yeah well, you got your package so-“ I said starting to turn, but guns were draw quickly making me pause and sigh.

“I’m not done” Slim said looking at me. I turned back to him.

What possessed me to do this? Y/n was right. What the hell was I doing? The last thing I needed was another charge under my belt.

“Make it late on a delivery again, and you won’t get off this easy the next time” He said through gritted teeth. I closed my eyes trying not to snap on this dude. I didn’t take being threatened kindly, but there wasn’t a need for a fight. 3 against 1 I wouldn’t win.

I just stared at him.

He turned before picking up the packaging. “How do I know this is what you say it is?” He asked looking down at it. I rolled my eyes. “It’s pure. I didn’t make it. I’m just the delivery boy” I smiled at him sarcastically.

He reached down into his pocket before pulling out a knife and cutting the top. I just looked at him.

“Take a blow” He said holding it up to me. I glanced from the him to Landon and Ray in the back behind him. Fuck.

“Slim, I don’t do drugs like this” I stated looking at him. He licked his lips. His face didn’t alter. It wasn’t a question. I sighed looking down.

I should have just stayed with y/n. I shouldn’t have made this delivery. This was a mistake.

“It’s pure. Try it for yourself” I mumbled stepping back, but bumped into someone I didn’t recognize. A dude that was three times my size. I looked from him back to Slim.

“Consider it the late fee” Slim said looking down at me. I closed my eyes and sighed. I wasn’t getting out of this one.

Just think of y/n. You can do this.

“I won’t be late again” I said through gritted teeth. If I hated anything, it was being told what to do. But I couldn’t leave y/n. If she found out that I died doing a drug deal, it would crush her more than if I did a blow of Coke.

“I know you won’t. You aren’t leaving until you take this” he said holding bag up to my face. I licked my lips. I’ve only ever really smoked weed before. I’d never done anything like this nor imagined myself doing this.

I was going to kill Nick and Chris.

I looked down at the bag and swallowed.

I leaned down and it was quick, I stood back up looking at him. I started coughing. Fuck that hurt. Slim chuckled down at me before leaning down and taking a blow himself and rubbing his nose, passing the bag off to Landon.

I blinked at him trying to contain myself but I shook my head. My eyes were watering and god that hurt.

He pushed me back slightly before shaking his head.

“Best be on your way delivery boy” he chuckled turning around as I shook my head trying to catch my breath as I turned and walked out of the building.

(I simply don’t know the effects of Coke so I am just guessing 👍😀)

The cold air hit me fast feeling it all over my skin. I shielded the light of the street light against my face. Damn that was bright. I shook my head trying to focus as I walked down the street.

My vision seemed almost clearer as I walked and before I knew it my mind was racing and I walked all the way back to y/n’s house.

Now it was nearing 3 in the morning.

She was mad at me.

I knew she was mad at me.

Fuck, my girlfriend was mad at me.

She can’t be mad at me.

I have to apologize.

y/n pov

I couldn’t sleep after he walked me home. I was worried sick. What was he doing? Was he safe? I texted him a few times from the burner phone he got me, but he didn’t answer.

I avoided the urge to text Nick or Chris. If I asked them one more time about this package they were going to rip my head off. I sighed as I looked over at the clock on my bedside table

3:33am

I really hope he was okay. I felt my eyes start to water. I had been staring at the ceiling for almost three hours. I can’t keep doing this. I cant keep killing myself over worrying if Matt was okay.

God I felt like I was going to be doing this the rest of my life.

I felt my phone buzz. I grabbed it quickly before flipping it open and answering it.

“Matt?” I said quickly. “Baby, why aren’t you asleep?” He asked slowly and softly through the phone. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Where are you? Are you safe? Matt are you okay?” I asked sitting up and turning on the light. He let out a breath through the phone.

“Woah” he said and then silence. “Matt?” I asked. He chuckled a little bit. “You turned your light on, had it always been that bright? I feel like it’s the sun” he laughed through the phone.

I stood up.

“Are you outside?” I whispered as I walked over to my window and pushed the curtains to the side and saw him leaned up against one of the trees in my backyard.

“Hi” he whispered. I sighed of relief, he was okay.

“Matt, just get up here” I smiled shaking my head. He leaned his head against the tree and sighed. “I tried, it’s hard” he said shaking his head. My eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” I asked staring down at him. He sat down against the tree. I stared down at him. “Are you high?” I asked looking at him. He shook his head looking up at me.

“Matthew” I stated. He sighed. “I want to apologize” He said through the phone. I shook my head. “You already did” I stated.

“Can you just come get me?” He asked looking up at me. I turned to look at my door. “I don’t want to wake up my Dad” I said looking at him. He whined through the phone.

What did he take?

“Okay, okay. I’m coming” I said shutting off the phone and opening my door slowly, and walking down the steps before walking out my back door.

I walked quickly over to him, the cold air out here was brutal. He smiled up at me.

“My girlfriend is here” he stated smiling. I looked around him before looking back down. “Get up” I stated looking at him. He frowned.

“Not if you’re gonna be mad at me” He shook his head then closed his eyes. I sighed squatting down in front of him. “Matt, stand up. Just come inside” I sighed. He looked at me but he looked like he was looking through me.

I grabbed his arm as I attempted to pull him to his feet. He groaned as he stood up and fell onto me, wrapping his arms around me.

“What did you take?” I whispered as I tried to keep him standing. He just hummed against me. “It’s Chris’s fault” He mumbled. I shook my head as I pushed him up and started to walk back inside as he leaned against me.

We successfully made it up the stairs, him stumbling slightly before I pushed into my room. He sighed pushing off me and walking over to my bed before falling against it, looking up at the ceiling.

I walked over to him, sitting next to him. He glanced over at me. His pupils were huge. I looked down at his face.

“Are you trying to kiss me?” He whispered. I just looked down at him.

“You didn’t” I said my heart breaking. He swallowed looking away from me. I sat back up biting my lip and turning away from him, feeling tears come up to my eyes.

“Matt” I shook my head. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me and laid agaisnt my lap. “I’m sorry” He whispered. I shook my head and pushed him off of me.

“Y/n, no” He whined reaching for me again. I shook my head. “You came to the chief of police’s house high on Coke?” I spat looking down at him. He looked away from me and clenched his jaw.

“I didn’t know where else to go” he mumbled. I scoffed looking down. “Maybe to your house? I’m calling Chris” I said standing up. I held out my hand. “Give me your phone” I said. He shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to” he whispered. I shook my head as I looked at him. “You didn’t mean to?” I asked. He sighed looking up at me.

“Colors are so bright” he said looking around my room. I just watched him as his eyes scanned me. “Your aura is blue” He stated looking at me holding his hands up. I raised my eyebrows.

“My aura?” I asked staring down at him. He nodded closing his eyes and leaning back. “Pretty blue” he mumbled. “Just like you” he smiled. I closed my eyes and pinched my nose.

There was no way I was dealing with this right now.

“Phone, now” I stated holding out my hand. He whined and rolled over. “Matthew” I stated harshly. “You’re always mad at me. Stop being mad at me” He said his face pressed into a pillow.

I tried everything in me not to strangle him.

“Maybe if you didn’t do stupid shit and lie to me. I wouldn’t be mad” I stated down at him. He groaned.

“Can you not yell at me right now?” He mumbled. I sighed and placed my hand on his head. “Do you hate me?” He mumbled. I sighed.

“Sometimes” I whispered. He groaned into the pillow.

Okay, he's high on a drug he's never taken before. He's probably freaking out. I need to calm down a bit. I took in a deep breath and looked down at him.

"Baby" I whispered, he hummed. "Can I please see your phone?" I asked as he lifted his head to look at me. He blinked at me. "No" He said looking at me. I glared at him.

"You're so pretty, come sit on me" He said pulling me on top of him. I smiled and shook my head. "Matt" I sighed as he ran his hands up my leg. "You don't know how hard it was to deny that blowjob earlier" He sighed looking at me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"You're high off coke Matthew, If you thinking i'm giving you a blowjob you're fucking crazy" I said looking down at him. He sighed. "I know, I was just saying" He mumbled.

"You're lucky I don't slap the shit out of you" I whispered looking down at him. He rolled his eyes. I reached into his pocket before pulling out his phone.

"No" He whined attempting to grab it back, but he was out of it, not even getting close to my hand as I shook my head and unlocked his phone. I clicked on Chris's contact before holding it up to ear as it rang.

Matt whined beneath me and tried to get out from under me and I just shook my head. Chris picked up the phone.

"Matt? Where the hell are you?" Chris said quickly over the phone. I looked down at Matt as he whined putting his hands against his face.

"Christopher, Why is my boyfriend high off coke?" I said angrily over the phone. He paused from my voice. "What?" Chris breathed. He had no idea why he was high either. I sighed.

"Where is he? Where are you?" He asked quickly. I looked down at Matt who was now just staring at the ceiling, staring aimlessly.

"He showed up at my house high out of his mind and his pupils are as big as his fucking eyes. Why the fuck is he on coke Chris?" I asked again. Chris groaned through the phone. "I'm coming to get him" He mumbled quickly.

"Answer the question" I said through gritted teeth. "Fuck Y/n, I don't know. I didn't tell him to take coke" He yelled over the phone. "Give him the phone" Chris said quickly. I sighed before looking down at Matt.

"Matt" I stated making him glance at me. I moved off of him and he whined, trying to pull me back to him but he failed. "Chris wants to talk to you" I said handing him the phone. He sighed as I pressed the phone to his ear and he took it out of my hand.

He just listened for a minute. "Chris, I don't know" Matt sighed closing his eyes. "Yes, I did. He was an asshole" He said making me furrow my eyebrows. "He made me" He whispered. "Matt what is he saying?" I asked looking at him. He glanced at me as he listened to the phone.

"No, I wanna stay here" He frowned. I shook my head. "You can't stay here" I said looking at him. He whined and closed his eyes. "Okay" He breathed through the phone before turning it off and throwing it on the bed.

"Matt, who made you do what?" I asked pulling his arm. "Y/n, do you think I wanted to do this to myself?" He groaned rubbing his eyes. "I have a brain, I knew you would kill me" He shook his head. I sighed and shook my head before sitting up and pulling his head into my lap.

He sighed as he laid against my thighs breathing heavily as we waited for Chris.

matt pov

I groaned as I rolled over on the bed and reached for my phone, but it wasn't there. Wow I felt like shit. I sat up before seeing Nick and Chris staring down at me, making me jump slightly.

"What the fuck happened?" Nick said glaring down at me. I shook my head rubbing my eyes. "What are you-" I started to say. "Last night. you did Coke?" Chris said glaring at me. Memories flooded through my brain. My eyes went wide.

"Fuck" I said shaking my head. I stood up walking over to them before I felt Nick push me. "Are you stupid?" He yelled at me. I glared at him before pushing him back against the wall. "This is your fucking fault!" I yelled at him. He pushed me off of him.

"Slim wouldn't let me leave until I did, said he had to make sure we weren't playing him" I said through gritted teeth. Nick sighed and looked down. Chris just looked at me.

"Y/n was pretty worried last night" Chris said crossing his arms over his chest. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him. "What are you talking about? She was fine after I walked her home. I didn't see her after that" I said shaking my head. Chris and Nick glanced at each other and then back at me. My heart dropped.

"I didn't see her again after that right?" I asked loudly stepping towards them. Chris held up his hands. "Y/n called me from your phone last night. You went to her house after you dropped off the package. We started thinking something went wrong when you didn't come back" Chris explained.

My mouth fell open as stepped back, placing my hands on my forehead. "Oh my god" I breathed. I looked up at Chris. "This is your fault. I never wanted to deliver that damn package in the first place. If you don't remember my girlfriend's dad is the chief of fucking police" I yelled at him.

He glared at me.

"Yes you did. You fucking agreed to it, forgot to deliver it and you took the fucking coke. This is no one's fault but you're own. And yes I am well aware of who your girlfriend's dad is, you showed up there high as shit you absolute dumbass!" He screamed back at me. I sighed looking down. I shook my head.

I can't believe I did this. I am so fucked.

y/n pov

I sat on the curb as the sun started to set. It was a little past 7pm on Friday. I didn't tell Matt to meet me here, but I knew he would come. Because It was Friday at the train tracks. It's when we always met.

Don't get me wrong I was furious with him, only because he was leaving me in the dark. It wasn't fair. He's never kept secrets from me. I don't know why he's starting now.

I heard footsteps coming up from behind me, the crunching of the gravel beneath their feet. I didn't turn to look at them as I threw rocks in front of me. I heard Matt sigh as he sat down next to me. I didn't look at him as he turned to me. I just kept throwing rocks.

"Y/n" He stated. I didn't look at him, I just dropped the rocks in my hand as he looked at me. "You came" I breathed. He let out a breath. "Y/n, I'll never not come" He said making me look up at him. He looked sadly down at me.

I felt tears brim to my eyes.

"Matt, you scared the shit out of me" My voice broke. He sighed as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. He kissed the top of my head as silent tears and shaky breaths came out of me. He squeezed me tight.

"Matt, you're scaring me" I breathed slightly. He pulled back before wiping the tears under my eyes. "I love you" He whispered kissing the top of my head. "I love you too but what are you doing?" I asked shaking my head. He sighed looking down.

"Talk to me, I'm your girlfriend" I said shaking my head. He glanced up at me. "I can't" He breathed. I turned my head looking away. "Y/n, stop" He breathed pulling me back to look at him.

"I wanna-" He stopped and closed his eyes. "I'm just in it with some guys and--" He paused. "I can't tell you what I was doing but I promise what happened that night will never happen again" He shook his head. I closed my eyes. In the dark again.

"Is it because of my dad?" I asked softly. He sighed. "Because I know that Chris and Nick--They always look at me differently because of it--but--but you never did and I don't understand--" I breathed as I started to cry again. He shook his head as he pulled me into him.

"Shh, Shh" He whispered as I cried against him. He ran his hand through my hair, attempting calm me down. "It's not because of your dad, it's because of your safety. My one job is to keep you safe and that's what I'm doing. I am so sorry that you had to see that. I promise you will never have to deal with it ever again okay?" He said pulling me back.

I swallowed as I looked at him. "I just feel so in the dark" I whispered looking at him. He nodded. "It's better that way" He said looking at me, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. I looked down.

"It's punishment enough seeing you like this to know to never do that again" He whispered as he scanned my face. I smiled sadly looking down.

"I don't like this" I whispered. He nodded. "I know you don't" He sighed looking down at me. I looked up at him. "Do you promise to never do that to me again?" I asked looking at him. He nodded as he looked at me. "I won't ever scare you like that again" He whispered. I took a deep breath as I stared out towards the tracks.

"Winter formal is coming up" I breathed. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me. I glanced over at him. "What?" He smiled at me, making me smile and wipe my eyes. "Winter formal" I breathed again looking at him. He stared blankly at me just blinking. I shrugged.

"It would be fun to go" I said biting my lip. He chuckled slightly. "Since when do you care about stupid school dances?" He asked shaking his head. I shook my head and shrugged. "I don't know" I whispered. He just looked at me.

"It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to get dressed up and stuff" I whispered looking down at my feet. He closed his eyes hanging his head. "I've never seen you in a skirt let alone a dress" He stated. He was right. I never get dressed up.

"Yeah I know but--I don't know." I shrugged. I blinked over at him. "Don't you want to feel like a normal teenager for once?" I asked. He shook his head.

"In a room with our high school with a bunch of sweaty, horny teenagers who don't know how to dance and are drunk as shit? No I don't" He shook his head. I just looked back down at the ground moving a few rocks on the ground and nodded.

He let out a breath and groaned.

"Y/n, your dad wouldn't even let me take you" He said as I looked at the ground. I shook my head. "No yeah, I know it was stupid. Just forget I said anything" I mumbled. He just stared down at me.

"Y/n" He breathed grabbing my arm, I pulled back. "I said I know okay?" I said looking up at him. He just looked at me. I shook my head and turned away. He stood up. I didn't look up at him.

"Y/n" He stated. I blinked at the ground. "Baby" He whispered. I glanced up at him. "Come here please" He whispered from above me. I sighed before standing up. He wrapped him arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I sighed as I laid against his chest.

"I love you more than you could ever know" He whispered against the top of my head. I closed my eyes and swallowed. He pushed his hands up my back under my shirt as he rubbed his thumb against the bottom of my back.

"I know" I whispered. He chuckled and leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine. I smiled softly as he looked at me. "Tell me you love me too" He whispered. I rolled my eyes and pushed off of him. His face dropping.

"Make me" I smiled before turning and running into the other direction. I heard footsteps fast behind me as I ran laughing. I barely made it on the other side of the old abandoned building before I screamed from him grabbing me from behind and lifting me off my feet. I laughed as he set me down and we both tumbled on the ground.

He laughed as I struggled against his grip on me. I tried to catch my breath as a I turned to look at him. He sighed smiling before laying his head against the ground looking at me. I just smiled at him. He leaned forward before catching his lips in between mine, kissing me passionatly. I smiled against his lips as I pressed my hands against his face pulling him closer to me.

He gripped my hips as he rolled over on top of me. He leaned down as he kissed my jaw and down my neck. He smiled against my skin, as he pushed my shirt running his hands up my stomach. I sighed.

"Your hands are warm" I whispered as he bit down on my neck. He hummed as his hands came over my bra. "Matt" I sighed pushing his hands down. "What?" He smiled as he lifted his head back up to me, pecking my lips.

"We're in public" I smiled up at him. He lifted his head and looked around. "Hello?" He yelled making my eyes go wide. "Helllo??" He yelled again. I punched him in the chest making him groan and lean forward.

"Matthew" I whispered looking at him with wide eyes. He smiled and shook his head as he connected our lips again, chasing after my kiss. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I wrapped my legs around his back.

"I wanna marry you" He mumbled against my lips. I pulled back. "What?" I asked looking at him. "I wanna marry you" He whispered again looking down at me. I just blinked at him. "What?" He smiled pushing my hair behind my ear. I smiled and shook my head.

"I didn't know that" I whispered looking at him. He rolled his eyes. "How did you not know that?" He asked shaking his head. I shrugged. "You never said it" I stated. He shook his head down at me. "I didn't have to" He whispered. I smiled pushing his brown hair out of his face as he peered down at me.

"How long have you know that?" I asked looking at him. He looked off breathing out. "I think it was when you put a live snake into Sabrinia Scottland's backpack when she left a love note in my locker in the eighth grade" He chuckled above me. I closed my eyes and scrunched my nose.

"That wasn't me" I mumbled making him chuckle. "Yes it was" He laughed. I sighed opening my eyes. He smiled as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek. "I was never subtle was I?" I asked looking up at him. He shook his head smiling.

"No, you weren't" He smiled making me laugh. "Where did you get a live snake?" He asked looking down at me.

"Again, do you want to keep questioning me or can we make out?" I asked looking up at him with raised my eyebrows. "The second choice" He said quickly. I smiled. "Good choice pretty boy" I mumbled as he pressed his lips against mine again.

He ran his hands down my body as he kissed me. He lifted my shirt before kissing down my neck and then down my chest. I squirmed beneath him as he kissed slowly down my stomach.

"Matt" I breathed closing my eyes as I arched against him. He hummed as he started to unbutton my jeans. I breathed in.

That's when we heard voices down the tracks. Matt froze and lifted his head. I sat up at looked at him. His eyes were turned to the tracks. "Matt?" I stated, my heart starting to beat. He didn't look at me.

"Matt, is it cops?" I asked looking at him. He stayed frozen before standing up quickly looking down at me. "Get up" He said sternly looking at me. I jumped up and pulled down my shirt and buttoned my jeans back. He grabbed my hand before pulling me in the opposite direction down the path.

"Matt who was it?" I asked looking up at him as he dragged me with him. He didn't look at me as his jaw was clenched as he closed his eyes. "Matt" I said stopping and turning towards him, pulling my hand back.

"Y/n walk now" He said looking down at me with hard eyes. I shook my head. "No, stop keeping shit from me I'm tired of--"

"Sturniolo!"

Matt closed his eyes and let out a breath. My eyes went wide as I heard voices walking up to us. I turned and Matt grabbed my arm and pushed me behind him. It was a couple of guys. I swallowed as I looked up at Matt.

"Matt" I whispered barley audible. "Just don't say anything and stay behind me" He said barley moving his lips. I swallowed as they approched us.

"Not gonna say hello?" One of the boys asked smiling at Matt. Matt just looked at him, with a hard jaw. "That's not Eastside curtiosy" He smiled as he stopped in front of us.

"Didn't see you. We were just leaving" Matt breathed looking at him. I glanced to the other guy standing next to the one speaking to Matt. His eyes were fixated on me. I glanced at the ground.

The other's eyes glanced to mine and then back to Matt. Matt glared at him. "And who's this?" He smiled at Matt pointing to me. I felt my face drain.

"Like I said, we were just leaving" He said again. The dude stared down Matt. "It's rude to not introduce your friends Matt" He said staring at Matt.

"I'm Pallo" He stated holding out his hand for me to shake. Matt stepped in front of me, pushing me back slightly. Pallo raised his eyebrows to Matt's reaction and lowered his hand. I swallowed.

"Oh? Didn't realize she was taken. This your little girlfriend?" He asked smiling at Matt. I could feel Matt's anger radiating off of him. I looked up at him, wanting to reach out to calm him down but didn't.

"We're not here to cause any trouble. We're on good terms as of yesterday" Matt stated looking at him. He raised his eyebrows. "Oh are we? Did Slim tell you that?" He asked. My eyebrows furrowed at Matt.

The guy behind him eyes never left mine. I looked at the ground. "I know her" He spoke. Matt's eyes snapped to his as he looked at me. He looked at Pallo. "That's the chief's daughter" He said pointing to me. I felt my heart stop.

Pallo raised his eyebrows as he looked at Matt. "You're fucking the chief's daughter Sturniolo?" He asked looking at him. Matt clenched his fists. I closed my eyes. This was not good.

"She's not Eastside blood. She's fair game" Pallo said shaking his head at Matt as he reached into his pocket. Matt stepped forward crossing his arms over his chest as he approached Pallo. "She's not fair game" He stated coldly.

I let out a shaky breath. "She can't be here" Pallo said smiling at Matt.

"She's with me and we were just leaving" Matt said staring him down. I looked up at Matt. Pallo nodded slowly before glancing at me up and down. I crossed my arms and looked away.

"She's a fine little thing" Pallo smiled at Matt. Matt clenched his jaw so hard I thought he was going to break a tooth. "Be a shame if something happened to her" Pallo said stepping up to Matt. Matt peered down at him.

"You forget who me and my brothers are Pallo" He stated down at him. Pallo looked to the side and swallowed. "You forget what would happen if Slim found out about her" He mumbled.

"Slim and I are good. That's not a threat" He shook his head. The other dude stepped towards me, making Matt grab him by the shirt quickly pulling him towards him.

"I could kill you in 100 different ways and make it look like an accident" He mumbled to the dude. My mouth fell open. Matt roughly let him go. Pallo stepped back.

"Best be on your way Matt, the sun's about to set" He said staring at Matt. I looked between them as they walked away. Matt turned back to me and grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I didn't say anything as he dragged me away and out of the tracks.

sorry was this alot

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#sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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honeytonedhottie · 1 month

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honey's guide to spring⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪷

i've been preparing this post for a while bcuz i LOVE spring and for this spring i just wanna embody feminine, fairy, dream-like beauty in my day-to-day this spring, and just enjoy it fully.

THE MOOD FOR SPRING : planting new seeds, fresh fruit, and bouquets of flowers. tea parties and floral prints and perfumes. green grapes, hibiscus tea and waking up early to see the sunrise.

PREPARATION FOR SPRING : stock up on your favorite fruits and teas. if u want fruits that are in season, the fruits in season during spring include strawberries, cherries, blueberries, kiwis, bananas and nectarines. my favorite spring time tea is hibiscus and i love a good matcha during all seasons but especially spring, and lastly a good citrus tea is always something that i enjoy.

if ur someone who experiences rly bad allergies during the spring make sure that u go to ur doctors for a check up, and make sure that u have everything that you'll need to combat allergies.

THE PLAYLIST : a good playlist is always essential so my spring playlist consists of : eternal sunshine - jhene aiko. はるなつあきふゆ - ichiko aoba. afterglow - luna li. pisces - yerin baek. fairy of shampoo - TXT. scenery - red velvet. hydrangea love - TXT. cool with you - newjeans. salad days - iiso. pov - ariana grande. lyricist - heize.

REFRESH : time for spring cleaning both mentally and physically. analyze what habits are nourishing u and which habits are drying you out. analyze ur space and do a deep cleaning, that way u can feel lighter both mentally and physically.

wash ur sheets, maybe even buy fresh sheets (floral printed sheets for spring ofc)

go thru ur closet and put the winter and autumn clothes towards the back and bring the spring clothes where they're more accessible and visible

deep clean ur room and clean ur house -> get onto clean-tok for some cleaning motivation cuz watching videos of people cleaning and organizing always motivates me to do so too

create new pinterest boards and delete ones that u dont use, or if u want to, create a completely new pinterest account. i've grown attached to my pinterest account so i won't delete it, but i've made lots of other accounts on separate devices

oftentimes we forget to clean what we use the most, and that buildup can cause our tools to be counterproductive, and just carry a lot of unnecessary germs so here are some things not to forget to clean and organize ;

behind ur ears

ur earbuds or headphones

ur skincare tools and devices (gua shas, face rollers)

ur phone screen

ur folders, binders, and folders

CULTIVATING CREATIVITY :

create something - do some painting, start a sketchbook, start dabbling in some poetry, maybe write a short story, cultivate an elite playlist etc etc

connecting with nature - go and get some fresh air, wake up earlier than usual to watch and enjoy the sunrise. drink different teas that you've never tried before, go to a local crystal shop if ur into that, make urself an elaborate platter of ur favorite fruits. go for a walk in the park, pick flowers and speaking of flowers, go and buy urself a pretty bouquet.

create a spring-time mood board

TENDING THE GARDEN OF THE MIND :

ofc i MUST talk about the mind in any of my posts bcuz its just so incredible. but what you think matters!! what u think manifests! the thoughts that u continue to water and entertain are what you will experience. therefore when u change ur thoughts and water the seeds of the new thought, you'll get a new flower.

its like gardening. your thought is the seed, and ur mind is the soil. when u entertain ur thoughts ur watering the seed, and you'll get a new flower, the flower is the new experience. so this spring, plant new thoughts and entertain those thoughts ✨

FUN SPRING-LIKE THINGS :

picking flowers -> buying yourself a bouquet

have a tea party by yourself or with friends (reference my tea party post if u need some inspo)

make a bracelet or anklet out of flowers

take a bath and infuse the bath with things like rose petals, rose scented bath milks etc

crystal shopping (last year i added amethyst to my crystal collection, this year i'd love to add selenite into my collection)

watch a 90's anime (i've watched sailor moon about a MILLION times and im gonna rewatch it again this year bcuz its just the girliest, best anime i've watched and is one of my favorites)

so i hope that this post sparked some ideas on ways that u can enjoy your spring girlies ✨

401 notes · View notes

thelov3lybookworm · 5 months

Text

To Love and Cakes

Summary: Y/n is the daughter of a flower and gardening tools shop's owner in Velaris. When he gets sick, y/n makes her father take some rest and looks after the small shop herself. But she is new to all this as her father never let her work a day in her life.

One day, as she's looking after the shop, a red haired high fae comes looking for gardening gloves as a gift to someone. Y/n helps him, and learns that he is a frequent customer.

Due to his frequent visits, they soon develop a bond. More than friends, but not lovers.

Yet.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: i dont think there are any but still, here we go. elain being a sour and jealous mate even though she's been sailing on the elriel ship, a few curse words and all. Can't think of anything else, so let me know if i need to add anything.

A/n: this thing has been in my draft for faxing months. This is, to me, the best work of mine. This is my baby. I LOVED writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading it.

(ps. even if youre not a lucien girlie, try reading it. i have a secret agenda to make every one of you creatures a lucien simp, just like im trying to make @artists-ally a lucien simp)

(also, the scene towards the end where reader is dancing was inspired by one of the fbaa books, if it seemed familiar or you were wondering)

t'is a long one children, Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

As Y/n finished walking around the store, cleaning, she thought back to the morning two days ago.

She had just woken up and was walking towards her father's kitchen for breakfast when she heard it. A cough. She quickened her pace, entering the kitchen to find her father bent over, his body heaving from the coughs.

She rushed to him, helping him to the nearest chair. When she bought him some water, he smiled up at her gratefully.

"How many times do I have to tell you to take some rest, father? Why won't you let me help you?"

"I might be getting old, but not that old that I need to rely on my daughter to help me earn. Unless you are trying to steal my shop?"

"Father!" She said, exasperated, even though she knew he was just saying that to irritate her. "You are staying home till you get better. I'll take care of the shop."

"But you don't know anything about it." At the glare she gave him, he finally conceded. "Let me help for today atleast. Show you how to handle it. I promise I'll rest."

She had come to visit and stay with her father for some days, having just quit her previous job, searching for a new one. They were well off, the house that Y/n lived in owned by her. She had wanted to see if her father needed any help around. Which he didn't. He wasn't very old and ill by any means, he just didn't know when to stop. That's why she had already made her father agree to closing the store earlier and taking the weekends off.

As Y/n put away the cleaning equipment in the back of the store, the bell above the door rang, announcing the arrival of a customer. As she hurried to the front desk, she caught a glimpse of the beautiful male that was waiting from behind a shelf.

He had dark crimson hair cascading over his shoulder that looked like fire, with one russet eye and one that was a golden metal one, which was whirring. A scar marred the skin surrounding that eye and trailed to his jaw.

Y/n quickly averted her gaze when she realised she was staring. He hadn't yet noticed her though, looking around the shop. She stepped out from behind the shelf and cleared her throat.

He turned to her at once, giving her a warm smile.

"Hello. How can I help you today?" She asked with a small smile.

"I'm looking for enchanted gardening gloves."

She wracked her brain for the location of said gloves before perking up. "Right this way." As she led the way, he followed a respectful distance away. To fill the silence, she spoke up. "Are you from Night Court? You don't seem like you're from here."

"Yes. I'm from... Autumn Court." His hesitation was evident, and Y/n didn't push.

"Here we are." She said, stopping in front of the gloves stacked neatly on a shelf. She left him alone when he nodded.

She began sorting out her desk, her father's, really, which was near the entrance to the shop.

By the time she finished, the male was done with his browsing and bought out the gloves to the desk to pay for them. The whole ordeal went silently and quickly. With a word of thanks and a 'good day', he was on his way.

•○🌑○•

Lucien's pov.

He stared at her. His mate.

He wondered if, under other circumstances, she would have not despised him. Could she have ever loved him the way others loved their mates? Would the two of them be together if there was no cruelty in this world?

He answered those himself.

The first one? Probably.

The second one? Maybe.

The third one? No.

Because, if there was no cruelty in this world, his love, one his father had killed, would not be dead. Jesminda would be alive still. And if she was alive, he wouldn't care for anything, even his own mate.

And maybe that made him an asshole, but he couldn't bring himself to care as he stared at Elain smiling at the Shadowsinger from the corner of the room, nursing a glass of whiskey.

He looked around the room, his eyes landing on the gift he'd bought for her. It was enchanted gardening gloves so her hands wouldn't get cut. Of course, the present had been discarded in a corner, unopened. It wasn't as if she didn't notice the gift. No, he had seen her look at it before placing it aside from her other gifts.

He'd seen her do that, and his heart had been pierced by an arrow. At least it felt like it.

As he stared at the gift, his mind drifted to the shop where he had bought it from. The shop run by the female. He didn't know why, but he couldn't stop thinking about her. She hadn't even said much, but she had simply caught his attention.

He blinked when a loud laugh interrupted his thoughts, looking at the inner circle sitting in the center of the room and having the time of their lives, while he sat in the darkest corner he could find. He knew he didn't fit in here, and that most of them didnt trust or like him.

He didn't know why he had accepted Feyre's invitation to stay for the night when he knew he'd be miserable.

He had thought that maybe, just maybe, they would include him in their fun. At least for one night.

He felt so dumb now.

After a little bit of contemplation, he decided it best if he left. No one was going to miss him anyways.

Quietly, he downed the whiskey in his glass, then rolled onto his feet. He set the glass on a nearby table, then turned towards the door. He walked towards it, his boots making no noise.

As he exited the room, there was no sign of the festivities slowing down. None. He removed his coat from the nearby hook, donning it as he stepped out, the door clicking shut behind him.

It wasn't until Lucien was out of the house that the sounds faltered for a brief moment, but then the laughter started back again, and Lucien sighed, his breath misting in front of him. He stared at the little cloud of fog in front of his face.

He didn't want to go home– if it could even be called that– not yet. The night was still young. Maybe he would go on a little walk around Velaris before he returned to the mortal lands.

He started the trek across the city, walking slowly, letting his mind wander, his eyes seeing everything but taking nothing in. It was like a waste of time, looking at the beauty but not caring enough to appreciate it.

He sighed, making his way through the vibrant market place. The children running around the place, candies in their hand, adults lingering around the place with their lovers and families truly added to the beauty of the festival.

But Lucien's eyes were unseeing, his heart unfeeling as he avoided the running and giggling children.

Someone slammed into Lucien from somewhere near him, and that finally broke him out of the haze that he'd been in.

He glanced at the fae leaning against him, trying to gain her footing in the crowded area.

"I am so sorry. I got pushed–" The female looked up at him, finally stable on her feet. She cocked her head, a smile spreading on her lips. "Oh. It's you."

He returned the smile, somehow easier than it should have been considering the foul mood he'd been. "It's me. I don't think I caught your name this morning."

The lady from the gardening shop grinned, her cheeks rosy, glowing with happiness. "Y/n."

"Lucien." He mumbled, studying her. She nodded, holding out her hand. He took it.

Then they stood there, awkwardly trying to figure out what to say. "Um... enjoying solstice?"

"Yeah." She returned, a relieved expression on her face. "Just left the house after dinner. My father said he's going out with some friends, so I decided to head out for some desserts. You?"

"Not really..." That was not the right answer, but Lucien was struggling to put on his mask of indifference.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Are you alone?"

He smiled ruefully as he looked away. "Very."

After a moment of silence, the lady spoke up again. "What are your thoughts on some cake? Pie? Or maybe cookies?"

Lucien blinked, then glanced at her. "What?"

She grinned, turning away and gesturing with her hand to follow her. Seeing that he had no other reason to haunt the streets of Velaris, he followed her.

She weaved in and out of the crowd, walking with purpose towards her destination. She stumbled sometimes, due to being pushed around by the crowd, but mostly by herself. She seemed to have a problem walking without tripping.

She tripped again, so bad that Lucien had to catch her elbow to stop her from faceplanting. She grinned up at him sheepishly.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Are you... drunk?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't drink. It's taste is disgusting."

A small smirk made is way into Lucien's face, but he simply nodded at her to keep going. She continued on.

Soon, she was walking into a brightly lit shop, cakes and various baked goods displayed through the glass.

"This is my favourite place for sweets and baked items. It's really good."

She went to open the door, but Lucien stretched out his hand and held it for her. She blinked at him before smiling and stepping in to the warm interior.

"Hello." She greeted the kind looking old lady behing the counter, who smiled widely.

"How are you today?"

"I'm good. How about yourself?" Y/n replied.

"I'm good, I'm good. Just these joints creaking a little extra nowadays."

Y/n grinned fondly. "Maybe you should just get some rest, you old hag."

"Oh shut it. I will rest once I know I have succeded in convincing you to get a partner. Mother knows how lonely you must be."

"I'm not lonely, you old hag. As long as I have you and father, I will never be alone."

"Yeah yeah whatever." Then the old female seemed to notice Lucien, and her eyes lit up. "Are you finally seeing someone?"

Y/n blinked, then glanced at Lucien. Her lips parted, then a flush climbed up her neck. She furiously shook her head, and the old lady sighed.

"Well, hope I'm not dead when you finally decide to interact with others." The female bustled away as other people walked upto the counter to place their order.

Y/n turned to Lucien, her face red, and she gestured to the display of sweets. He grinned when she turned away again. "Choose what you would like to try. I always go for pineapple, but chocolate is also good."

Lucien dipped his head in a nod when she glanced at him to make sure he understood her, and then the two of them went on to get their cakes.

As they were about to leave the shop, the owner of the shop called to him. "Psst. Hey! You!"

When Lucien glanced up questioningly, the lady Y/n had been talking to motioned at him to come closer. He inched towards the counter behind which the lady stood as Y/n talked to another one of the workers.

"What are your intentions for her?" The lady hissed at Lucien as soon as she was sure no one could hear her.

Lucien blinked, taken aback. "What?"

"Don't you dare even think of hurting her. Males have hurt her enough. She is a pure soul, and if you hurt her, then I will carve your eyes out with a spoon. You hear me young man?"

Lucien nodded, dumbfounded. Thank the cauldron though, Y/n decided that moment to walk up to the two of them.

The old lady smiled at her, and then shooed Y/n and Lucien away. Y/n rolled her eyes and led Lucien out of the shop.

She crossed the road and settled onto one of the many benches overlooking the Sidra. She patted the place next to her and he obliged, studying her.

"What were you and the old hag talking about?"

"Nothing..."

Y/n raised a brow but stayed silent as she dug into the treat in her hands.

The two of them sat in silence as they ate, staring at the waters of the Sidra.

Unfortunately, soon enough the two of them were done eating, and Y/n turned to Lucien. She smiled. "Did you like the cake?"

Lucien gave her a smile. A genuine one, one that felt like he hadn't smiled in centuries. He probably hadn't.

"I did. Thank you for making my solstice better."

"I enjoyed the time too, no need to thank me."

And then the two of them parted ways, Lucien thanking her again and her telling him not to worry about it.

Lucien watched her until she had vanished between the crowd, then he turned and decided to walk to secluded place before he winnowed back to human lands.

A soft breeze caressed his face, and he closed his eyes, savoring the cool touch. His mind drifted back to Y/n.

He smiled softly, opening his eyes and leaning his head back, staring at the stars twinkling down at him, as if they were winking.

Maybe... just maybe, not all fae were miserable and hateful.

Maybe there was someone out there, like Y/n, who would not hate him for simply existing.

•○🌑○•

Y/n's pov.

Y/n only had one thought in her mind, and that was to hurry up.

She had been out in the market, getting the things she needed according to the cooking book she had recently bought.

She had decided to surprise her best friend since childhood with a home baked cake, and hence the rush to get home and start the preparations.

The catch?

Y/n was shit at baking.

The few times she had tried to bake, she had either ended with something that was too hard to even be called a rock, or with something that vaguely resembled... puke.

Even thinking about it sent shivers up Y/n's spine.

But back then she hadn't used a cookbook's instruction, she tried to reason with the sane part of her brain, the one that knew this was a bad idea.

Hurry up-

And she smacked into a wall. A very warm wall.

All her bags slipped from her hands and onto the ground as she stumbled back, barely keeping herself from falling onto her ass.

She lifted her head to apologise to whoever she had crashed onto when her eyes met russet and gold. Lucien.

She paused as she watched him cock his head, a little smile spreading on his features.

"I seem to notice a pattern, Y/n."

She lifted an eyebrow as she bent to gather her stuff. He followed. "What pattern?"

She tried to shoo him off by waving her hands, but he either didn't notice or didn't care. "You are always crashing into me. That sounds like a pattern to me."

She scowled, knowing that if her father or any of her friends saw her, they would yell at her for being disrespectful to someone who was helping her.

He grinned, glancing at her as he stood, most of her bags in his hands.

"Do you need any help carrying these?" He questioned when she climbed to her feet too, and she blinked.

"Oh no, it's alright. I'll carry them myself. I don't want to bother you."

"I insist. And it's really not a bother. I have nothing else to do. These are really heavy, let me help."

"You really don't have anything else to do?"

He smiled triumphantly, as if he knew he had won. "I don't."

She sighed. "Fine then. My house is nearby. Thank you vey much."

He shook his head, that smile still on his face. "No worries."

She led him to her house, a peaceful silence between the two.

It wasn't long before they reached her house, and she turned to him, keys in her hand.

"Please come in. Let me make you some tea." That was the least she could do for him.

"Oh no, that is unnecessary, I don't want to bother you. It was my pleasure to help."

"I insist. And it really is not a bother." She smirked, throwing his words back at him.

He shook his head, grinning. "Fine."

She let the two of them in, setting about to get some tea ready. "So, may I ask what you are going to with these?"

When Y/n turned to look at him, he gestured at the bags he set on the counter.

"Because from what I saw outside, these things are usually used for baking."

Y/n smiled. "Yeah. It's my friends birthday today. I was thinking of making her a cake."

"That's great. Do you bake often?"

Her smile now turned sheepish. "No. I tried a couple of times, back when I was younger," -six months ago- "and I damn near brought down the whole kitchen once."

Lucien chuckled. "So now you think you can do it properly?"

She picked up the cookbook nearby and waved it at him. "I will follow instructions this time."

Judging by the amusement in his eyes, she thought he would laugh, but he didn't. He simply extended his hand towards her and asked, "Can I have a look?"

She handed it to him, turning to check on the tea she was brewing.

The sound of the pages being flipped were the only sounds other than her pouring the liquid into cups for the two of them.

When she turned back around, she found him staring intensely at the book, his brows furrowed, a downward tilt to his mouth. She tried to make no noise as she set down the cup in front of him, hoping to not disturb his concentration.

But he glanced up at her, frowning. "This won't work. This is too complicated."

Y/n blinked, taken aback by the seriousness in his eyes and words. "What do you mean?"

He closed the book, setting it aside as he pulled the cup of tea towards him. "Baking is simpler than whatever bullshit is given in there."

"You know how to bake?"

"I helped my mother when I was younger."

"And exactly how many years ago was that?"

His eyes narrowed. "How many years since you baked anything?"

That made Y/n shut up.

She sighed ruefully. "Maybe I'm just not supposed to bake."

Lucien shook his head. "I can help."

She glanced at him. "What?"

He shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do anyways. I can help you bake the cake."

"I don't want to bother-"

"Its not a bother. I would love to help."

Y/n smiled behind her cup as she took a sip of her tea, a warmth spreading through her chest.

"Thank you. I appreciate the gesture." Then, she looked at the redhead for a moment longer before turning away. "And you know what? I am noticing a pattern too."

•○🌑○•

After a day filled with trying to decide on the flavour for the cake, the decorations, making the cake and laughter, it was finally time to sleep.

The party had been perfect, so many memories made, and so many things she could think about.

But no matter what, Y/n couldn't stop thinking about him.

She didn't remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so thoroughly around a male, let alone one she knew nothing about.

And as she went to sleep that night, trying not to think of how his eyes twinkled in amusement when she had dropped an egg on the ground- huffing and puffing- she failed to keep that smile off of her face.

•○●⛦●○•

Lucien's pov.

After the day filled with helping her bake, correcting anything she had been doing wrong and watching as happiness spread across her face when the cake came out almost nearly perfect, it was finally time to sleep.

The day had been perfect, a reprieve from the constant ugly thoughts Lucien had about himself. Memories had been made, though unexpected.

But no matter what, Lucien could not stop thinking about her.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed himself so thoroughly around someone, let alone someone he barely knew anything about.

And as he went to sleep that night, trying not to think of how she had jumped around and squealed in excitement- so much so that she had nearly burnt herself by the hot pan- Lucien failed to keep that smile off of his face.

•○🌑○•

Y/n's pov.

Soon enough, Y/n learned that the handsome male with the metal eye, Lucien, was the Lucien Vanserra. The youngest son of the High Lord of Autumn Court.

He frequented the shop after that day they spent baking, him and Y/n becoming fast friends. He'd told her that he lived in the human lands with his friends, Jurian and Vassa.

Recently, she had learned that this Jurian he was friends with was the Jurian from the war centuries ago, the powerful human commander, remade by the Cauldron.

Expect Lucien to surprise a four hundred year old fae who thought she could not be surprised about anything anymore.

Y/n shook her head with an exasperated grin, finishing braiding her hair. She had spent the whole afternoon wondering what hairstyle would look good with her dress for her meeting with Lucien, eventually settling for a simple braid. Few strands framed her face, and she thought it looked better than any elaborate hairstyle she could have done.

Even after six months of being friends with him, he never failed to shock her by telling her things about himself.

He had sent a letter in advance that he would be visiting today, and he wanted to meet with her in their favourite cafe before reporting to the High Lord.

She had, of course, agreed. He was the only friend she had other than the female she had baked for, what with her being cooped up in her home with a book in hand when she wasn't working in the nearby jewellery store.

A knock sounded on the door, and Y/n practically flew down the stairs, taking a deep breath to calm her heart before opening the door.

There he stood in all his glory, smiling at her. The fading sunshine made his hair look on fire, his skin glowing.

"My lady. You look quite...dishevelled." He murmured, his eye twinkling. Y/n frowned, lifting her hand to her hair. It had looked good when she checked it in the mirror. Maybe the braid didn't look as good as she thought it did. In which case, she wanted to go and jump off a cliff.

Before her hand could touch her hair though, Lucien caught it, grinning and pressing a kiss to her knuckles, all the while maintaining eye contact. Y/n blushed.

"When I said dishevelled, I meant you look like you've run a mile. That looks exquisite." He said, straightening and flicking her forehead. "You look exquisite."

"Shut up." She mumbled, shoving his shoulder and stepping out, turning to lock the door. When she had finished, she turned to find him leaning against a pillar of the front porch. He smiled and inclined his head towards the road.

They walked towards the cafe, talking about his past days in the human lands and her job at the jewellery store. How she didn't really care for it and was thinking of taking up something else.

They soon reached the cafe which stood right on the banks of the Sidra and had outdoor seating as well in the backyard, right next to the river. As they settled down in their usual seat in a corner right next to the river, her eyes sharpened on the paper stuck on a nearby wall.

"Hey Lucien? Do you see that?" Y/n questioned, making Lucien glance back at it.

"Yeah. Looks like they're hiring." Lucien's eye lit up as he turned back to her. "You should try." She nodded enthusiastically.

Soon, they finished their food and Lucien was waiting to pay, having insisted on paying while Y/n talked to the hotel's owner. She was quite happy Y/n said she wanted to work there. They finally settled on her starting in two days.

After that, as they were walking home, the delicious smell of freshly baked cakes reached them. Y/n grinned at Lucien who took her arm and walked towards the stand where an old lady was selling small round cakes that were the size of Y/n's palm. They made idle conversation with her while she handed them their treats.

"You two make a good couple. Are you mates?" She asked as soon Y/n took a bite. Which was very unfortunate as she immediately choked on it. Lucien patted her back, grinning as he turned to the lady.

"No, we aren't mates. We're just friends."

"What a shame. But maybe the bond hasn't made itself known yet?"

Lucien shook his head with a sad smile. "That would've been wonderful, really." Y/n's had whipped to him, her eyes wide. Did he just say what she thought he did? Could it be that he... no. That was stupid. He had a mate that he would die for, regardless of whether she liked him back. He would never...

"But I already have a mate." He continued.

"Oh I'm so sorry then for assuming things."

"Don't be. It's not like it matters anyway. She doesn't want the bond."

"Oh mother, that's truly unfortunate. Maybe you could be with someone else? I loved someone in my youth, but he never paid me any attention. Then one day my friend advised me to forget the male. Now I'm married to my friend and I think I couldn't be any more happy."

Lucien looked thoughtful. "That's a good advice, I must say. And I'll definitely think about it." He winked at Y/n, making her blush furiously.

They continued on after that, though there was silence now compared to their earlier mindless chatter. And it was filled with tension. Y/n wrapped her arms around herself, staring into the waters of the Sidra nearby.

As they walked, her mind wandered to what Lucien had said to the woman. Could he really mean what he had said? He wasn't one to joke about such serious matters... but then again, maybe he was jesting.

Soon, they had reached her house, and she stepped up to open the door.

"You want to come in? We can have some tea..."

Lucien smiled. "I would love to if it's not a problem."

As she set about making the tea, he sat watching her every move. Which made her work extremely carefully, wondering if he was judging her. Which was absurd. Because, not only would Lucien never judge her, but also because she never would have cared for something so trivial as someone judging her. So why did she care now?

Because you lov–

She shut the thought down before it even finished.

•○🌑○•

Lucien's pov.

It had been over a month since he had seen his Y/n, and he was already craving her presence. Initially, he been able to go longer periods without meeting his friend. But as time went on, he became more and more enraptured with her and shorter and shorter became the time period between his visits.

The way she laughed on anything he said. The way her eyes would light up when she looked at him. The way he could make her blush by just looking at her. How she would get excited when taking about the newest book she was reading or when she learned something that made her happy.

He just couldn't get enough of her sometimes. All he wanted to do was stay and bask in her presence.

Of course, it wasn't possible, what with his work of going back and forth between human lands and the Night Court, as well as Day Court, where he had been spending some time getting to know his father.

It was a shock when he found out that Beron wasn't his real father, but he was adjusting. She had a big part in his acceptance. And he was grateful for it.

Now, he was going to leave his emissary duties for the Night Court, going to live in his father's court permanently. Which was why Feyre had decided to have the whole of the inner circle and him go out to eat for dinner. Lucien had suggested the cafe by the Sidra for the ordeal.

The place where Y/n currently worked.

He was smiling at his thoughts of her when he knocked on the door of the River House. Nuala opened it, greeting him with a smile before letting him enter. There was already sounds of chatter coming from the living room as he walked towards it. Everyone was here then. Great.

The quicker this was over, the faster he could spend time with Y/n.

He would leave soon, but that didn't mean he wouldn't come back to Velaris. He had important people here.

He had informed Rhys about his departure a few months ago, and had agreed to stay till they found someone who would be willing to take up the duties of Lucien. They were still searching for someone, so Lucien was still the emissary.

•○●⛦●○•

Lucien tapped his leg on the floor impatiently, his eyes constantly flitting between the tables and booths in search of his friend.

It had only been a few moments since he had arrived with the inner circle, but he simply couldn't wait to catch a glimpse of her.

While he was searching for Y/n, he failed to notice the High lord and lady's, as well as the entire inner circle's eyes on him.

He craned his head, and he finally heard that beautiful voice he'd been dying to hear from behind him.

"Good evening. May I take your order?"

He turned his head so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash, but Lucien didn't care as his eyes met those of Y/n's.

Her mouth lifted at the edges, a knowing look in her eyes as she turned away to converse with Rhysand.

His brain didn't process the words being exchanged between the two, he was so busy admiring her.

And wondering when the damn dinner will be over so he could finally talk to her and catch up.

When she left the table after taking their orders, she distcreetly brushed her hand against his bicep, pulling a smile on his face.

Just an hour or so. He reminded himself as he focused on the table in front of him, ignoring the looks of the inner circle, including Elain.

Which wasn't all that hard.

•○●⛦●○•

The time seemed to pass slower, just to torture Lucien that night.

Right when Lucien was about to loose his patience, everyone had finished dessert, and were on the verge of leaving.

Lucien stood, nodding at Cassian and Azriel in goodbye, hugging Feyre and shaking Rhys's hand. Making some excuse- unconvincing, he was sure- about having to go meet up with Vassa and Jurian, he walked away, eyeing the place Y/n had disappeared into.

He knew that she was about to leave, had probably already left, and he couldn't wait to tell her all the juicy stories he'd acquired over his recent travels, as well as the budding tensions between Vassa and Jurian.

The moment he stepped out onto the road, he heard her voice.

"So desperate to meet me fox boy?"

Lucien smirked, turning to find the owner of the voice leaning against a wall. "You wish."

Her eyebrows lifted as she pushed herself off the wall. "Sure. Didn't seem like it was just my fantasy when you were searching around like an eager puppy."

He grinned, though a flush climbed up his neck at being caught red handed. "Just wanted to see you so I could tell you about Vassa and Jurian."

Y/n grinned, throwing her arms around his neck as she buried her face in his neck. He returned the hug in kind, warming up his body a little through his magic so he could ward off the chill in the air surrounding them.

They stayed in the hug for longer than seemed appropriate, but no one was watching anyways. And neither of them cared if anyone was.

Y/n was the first to pull away, smiling shyly up at Lucien.

"You want to get some cake before we go home?" Y/n questioned, beginning towards the general direction of her home.

"I feel like we should make it ourselves." Lucien wiggled his eyebrows, throwing his arm around her shoulders as they began the trek to her home.

She shook her head slightly, becoming redder by the moment as she grinned softly at her feet.

•○🌑○•

It was solstice tonight.

It had been one not-long-enough year since he'd met Y/n.

Lucien's chest felt lighter than it had been in ages.

They had already found a new emissary who they trusted, and so today was Lucien's last day as a member of the Inner Circle.

He was here today to deliver some reports to Rhys.

The sound of utensils and laughter greeted him as soon as he entered the River house, the inner circle being as loud as ever. But as soon as he stepped foot in the dining room, everything went silent, all eyes turning to him.

He smiled at Feyre, nodding to Rhys and pointing to the papers in his hands. He placed the stack on a table nearby, before nodding again to the rulers of Night and turning away.

"Wait! Where are you going? Come have dinner with us." Lucien looked at Feyre, shaking his head.

He didn't want to stay. Not when all that was going through his head was how he would go up to Y/n's door and knock, and how she would open the door suspiciously, those eyes narrowed. But then she would realise that it was him, and she would fling the door open with squeal, tackling him into a hug, laughing. How when she pulled back, she'd realise she was in her pajamas and would self consciously brush herself down, touching her hair. How–

"Lucien?" Lucien winced, coming back to the present.

"I can't stay. I have to go meet a friend."

"Oh. Did you plan a meeting beforehand?"

"Oh no. She doesn't know I'm here. I'm going to go surprise her."

"She?" A gentle and soft voice intoned. Lucien stiffened. The voice he had wanted to hear acknowledge him ever since the bond snapped for him.

He turned to look at Elain, his brows rising as he took her in. She was standing from her seat next to the shadowsinger, her knuckles white from clenching her fork so tightly. Her brows were furrowed in anger, and she looked murderous.

"Yes..." He didn't really know how to answer the question, so he simply watched her.

Rage entered her eyes. "Is this the female you went with that night when we were out?"

Lucien blinked, wondering what was making Elain so angry. "Yes. Exactly that one."

Elain huffed out a bitter laugh. "So is she trying to steal my mate now? She did look like someone who steals males."

For a moment, no one moved. There was so much silence it was deafening.

Almost everyone was staring between Elain and Lucien, their eyes wide. Except from Amren, of course. Nothing could faze the little devil. And Nyx, who waved around a piece of carrot like a sword.

Lucien smiled slowly. "Glad to know your thoughts on my life, mate. I will let her know of your amazing thoughts about her."

Lucien turned away, walking towards the foyer, but just before he turned out of sight, he glanced back, his eyes meeting Elain's.

"She and I were only ever friends, but now that you've said it, I realise that we never were meant to be friends." Lucien smiled slightly, bowing his head. "Thank you."

And with that, he left, ready to meet with his friend.

•○🌑○•

Y/n's pov.

Her solstice had been normal. Nothing great to do. Her father had gone out drinking with his friends, her friends having been busy with their own families. Even the old hag was busy tending to and celebrating with her brother.

She was sure Lucien would also be busy with something, since he hadn't written to her to let her know of his arrival if he was coming.

That left Y/n alone.

But then suddenly, a knock had sounded on the door, and Y/n's heart had fluttered before even knowing who stood on the other side of the door.

After Lucien told her what was going on with Vassa and Jurian, he began telling her of the events that went down in the High lord's home as she got ready to take a stroll around Velaris with Lucien.

Her blood boiled when she heard of the things Elain said to Lucien, but a smile of reassurance from him was all it took for her to calm down.

They were in the main square of Velaris right now, watching the people dance around the huge fire in the centre.

It had become a tradition in the recent years for the people of the city to come together and dance the night away, laughing and drinking and mingling. It was a wholesome event, where younger people would gather around the old towards the end of the night and simply listen to their tales.

This was the first time Y/n was attending with someone else, as usually she would come here alone and sit next to the elderly, watching as younger couple her age danced around and bonded.

The glow from the fire danced in Lucien's eyes, making it look like there was fire inside those mismatched eyes. There was a relaxed grin on his face, one like she'd never seen before. He seemed so careless now, so free, it made Y/n smile too.

"You're staring." He pointed out, his voice barely audible over the cheers and the faeries singing along.

Y/n blushed, but in a sudden burst of boldness, she spoke, looking away. "It would be a crime not to."

From the periphery of her eyes, she found him gaping at her and had to suppress a triumphant smile.

"You know, I feel like the Mother took extra time making you."

He let out a surprised laugh, the sound lighting fires across Y/n's body.

"All that extra time to make me ruined by a fucking scar."

His tone was light, though Y/n could sense a hint of insecurity and sadness under the joy.

She turned to him, watching as the smile slowly vanished from his face at the look in her eyes.

"You are beautiful, Lucien, scars and all. And if I had the chance, I would show you how beautiful they are to me." She let her hand reach up toward his face, ignoring the heat entering his eyes or the way his pupils dilated as she traced the scar that ended at his jaw.

"Beautiful. So fucking beautiful."

HIs eyes fell shut as the music came to an end, and the people dancing around the fire dispersed for a moment.

"Y/n..." He whispered, his hand reaching up to hold hers against his face.

The music started up again, a soft and slower sound than before, more sensual.

This one was for people who were a couple or in a relationship, just a slow waltz to cool down before everyone again joined in a faster, more traditional dance.

"Dance with me."

The words were a shock to her system, and she nodded without even thinking.

It wasn't until the two of them had begun dancing, her arms wrapped around his broad and strong shoulders, their faces barely inches away, that she remembered that this was a waltz for couples, and she and Lucien were definitely not a couple.

She glanced up at him, his eyes already fixed on her. She opened her mouth to tell him, trying to ignore the warmth against her skin from the fire behind her, his body pressed so close to hers in the front.

"Lucien, this dance is for-"

"I know." He mumbled, his eyes smoldering. "I know." He repeated, making sure she understood.

Suddenly, his arms around her waist became more apparent, the way they rested over her lower back. The way the stray hairs that had escaped his low bun tickled her neck, the way his breath washed over her skin when he exhaled.

Y/n's mind was about to either stop working, or remind her of Lucien's touch every two minutes, and honestly, she didn't know which one she prefered.

He never broke eye contact once during the whole dance.

Soon, but not soon enough, the slow music came to an end. And the people that sat along the outer edge cheered, clapping and demanding the couples kiss. And as all the couples shared that intimate moment, Y/n's heart rate picked up, panic clawing up her throat, feeling so many eyes on her and him, wondering what Lucien would do.

She didn't have to wonder long, though.

Lucien began leaning in, making Y/n's eyes flutter closed. She swallowed, licking her lips.

Then she felt his hot breath closer to her face, his lashes brushing gently against her skin as she felt those plump, beautiful lips on the corner of hers.

She felt him smile against her skin. All the while, it was hard to breathe.

But then he pulled away, a flush on his cheeks. If it was because of the heat of the enormous fire behind her, or because he was genuinely flustered, she couldn't tell.

As the faster music started, Lucien grinned wickedly at her.

"Let's dance, my lady."

•○🌑○•

Y/n's feet were sore, but it was all so worth it.

At some point during the night, she had discarded her shoes next to a kind old male who she had known since she was a child.

All the dances after Y/n and Lucien's initial waltz had been fast paced, where everyone changed partners every few moments. It was one of the best things that had happened that night, getting to know new people and dancing and singing along to the top of their lungs.

It was all so beautiful.

She had always thought so, watching from the sidelines. But now, being one of the people she would have watched, it was a whole different experience.

The dancing was supposed to go on for atleast one more hour before the elders gathered and began telling stories. That would go on for the rest of the night.

And so, Y/n decided to get some rest, maybe somewhere on he benches near the Sidra where it would be quiet before returning to listen to the elder's tales.

Listening to loud music for hours was one way to invite a headache.

Y/n began making her way up to Lucien, who stood on the opposite side of the huge fire, but then she paused, simply admiring him.

He had discarded his embroidered overcoat next to where Y/n had placed her shoes, now only in a simple, thin white shirt that clung to his sweaty frame, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

He laughed as he held the hands of a little girl, giving her instructions on how to move. The little girl's tongue poked out of her lips as she concentrated, and Lucien was just as concentrated as her.

Once the current music came to an end, the girl grinned up at Lucien, and he ruffled her hair in return before she ran away, maybe to her friends.

Y/n finally walked up to Lucien, smiling tiredly at him.

"Hello, you."

He smiled back. "Good evening, my lady."

Y/n rolled her eyes at the title. "Shut up."

"Can I not even greet you now?"

"Yeah yeah whatever. I'm going to go sit at a bench, rest a little then return. You coming?"

He nodded, walking over to where his coat lay on the ground. He picked it up along with her shoes then returned.

When she tried to take her shoes from him, he waved her away.

The two of them walked in silence, heading towards the quiet river. Once there, they walked onto the bank and settled down where the place was relatively drier than all other places. Y/n dipped her feet in the cold water, releasing a relieved sigh at the soothing sensation.

Lucien pulled out two packets from the pocket of his coat, tearing open the wrapper and handing one to Y/n. She looked at him, confused.

He simply opened his pack, and then bit into the cake.

"Why do you have these with you?" She questioned, though she began nibbling on the little treat.

He shrugged. "Jurian found these at a bakery in mortal lands a few days ago. I thought you might like it."

She smiled, staring into the water as she slowly chewed.

"The inner circle were in the crowd tonight."

Y/n whipped her head to look at Lucien, but he didn't even seem bothered or interested in talking about the inner circle. He said it so casually, like he was telling her it was night and not day.

After a moment, Y/n spoke. "Was Elain there?"

He nodded, taking a bite of the cake. He took his time chewing before he gave her a response.

"I saw them after the fourth or fifth song. Apparently, they'd been watching since the first song."

Y/n gaped at him.

He glanced at her. "What?"

"Why are you so nonchalant about this?! Your mate saw you dancing with me on a song meant for people involved romantically!"

He blinked, then raised a brow. "And?"

"That might ruin any chances you had with her!"

He shrugged again. "There was never any chance anyway."

"Lucien! You-"

"Look Y/n. It's been long since the bond made itself known. It's been long enough that if she wanted to accept the bond, she would have. And long enough that if she didn't want the bond, she would have rejected it."

"Yes I know but you love her-"

"Let me speak, love. Let me get this off my chest. I never loved her. She didn't give me the chance to. The pull I felt towards her was simply the bond clouding my judgement. The desperation with which I seeked to gain her attention was me simply yearning for happiness. If I had not been so lonely and upset all the time, maybe I wouldn't even have acknowledged the bond if she ignored it too.

"And maybe I am a bastard for that, but I don't know what had gotten over me for the past year or so. I had lost almost all of myself, until you came along.

"You-" Lucien looked at Y/n, his eyes bright "-you made me realise that I did not need another person to make me happy, and that I didn't have to stop being myself for someone to love me. And i will be eternally grateful to you for it."

Y/n shook her head, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall. "Lucien, you deserve to find love. You deserve to have a happy life."

"And I know that now. All because of you."

"But I did nothing." She sniffed, her cake forgotten in her hand.

"You didn't have to. Just simply being my friend and showing me kindness made a significant difference in how I saw myself."

"But what about Elain? What about the bond?"

He smiled. "She can be with anyone she wants now. She wanted to have control over some aspects of her life after having been forced to turn, and honestly, I don't blame her. I would have wanted to do the same if my life had been anything like her."

"And what about you?"

Y/n felt like she knew the answer, but she still wanted to know.

"I do not need a bond to be with someone I love, you know."

"And who is it that you love?"

His smile turned knowing. "You know the answer, don't you?"

"Tell me still. After all, you do love hearing yourself speak."

This was a serious moment, but Y/n felt like if she didn't try to lighten the air by joking, this would become real. And she didn't know if she could handle that.

"I love you, Y/n."

She closed her eyes, telling herself this was not real, that she would wake up soon, and realise this had been a dream. Just like all the times before she had had the dream of being with Lucien and then waking up, all alone in her bed and staring at the ceiling.

But when silence settled around her, him staring at her expectantly, she realised this was no dream.

That someone like Lucien really was in love with someone like her.

She closed her eyes, a tear slipping out of the corner of her eyes. "You don't mean that."

She felt his thumb brushing away the tear a moment before she felt his lips on her cheek. "I do. I am in love with you, my lady. I would do anything to show you how much I love you. To prove to you that I really do."

Her eyes fluttered open, staring into his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. "Why?"

He chuckled. "What do you mean why? There is not need of a reason for me to love you. I simply love you because you exist."

After a moment, she whispered what she had been dying to scream. "I love you, Lucien. I love you so much."

His smile widened, and he began closing the distance between them. "Then let me be yours."

Just before their lips met, she mumbled. "Be mine."

And her body ignited.

•○●⛦●○•

Her joints were creaking, but the old hag watched, and waited.

She had this primal need to have the little girl she'd watched grow up in front of her eyes find happiness, and she would threaten even the mother if the need arose to make Y/n happy.

But she didn't have to do that, because as she watched, the fire head male leaned in and pressed a kiss to Y/n's lips, and the old hag smiled, giddy with happiness and excitement.

And then she turned away, meaning to hobble back to the solstice celebration in the main square and leave the two younglings to enjoy the night together.

But then she paused, staring at the young female that stared at Y/n and the fire boy she'd fallen in love with.

Slowly, the old hag's brain remembered that this female with soft features and silky hair was the high lady's sister. And in turn, Lucien's mate.

Damn the mother. The old hag cursed, shaking her head.

"Leave them be." The hag ordered the girl in front of her, who turned to her with wide eyes. "They both deserve happiness. Don't you dare think about getting in the way."

The girl in the lilac dress nodded, her eyes becoming watery, but the hag had already begun walking away.

And after a final glance at the giggling couple on the riverbank, the girl turned away, jealousy and relief warring in her chest.

•○●⛦●○•

When Lucien pulled away, his hand still resting on her cheek, she couldn't stop a giggle from escaping. His lips quirked, a little swollen.

"Something funny?"

She shook her head, her cheeks warm as she turned back to the water. "Should we do a toast, my lord?"

He laughed at that, shifting closer to her as he put an arm around her shoulders. "And what will we toast with? We don't have wine or anything."

"We have these cakes." She pointed out.

He lifted his cake into the air. "Alright then. To love!"

Y/n wrinkled her nose. "And cakes!" She said as she raised her hand, and Lucien laughed.

He laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

Carefree and happy.

And Y/n simply watched, admiring.

Loving.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

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gamarancianne · 3 months

Note

Hii I just read your rules and i think every thing is altight 🎀.I have benn carving some angst and had this idea for Helion x reader from acotar, where they have been with each other for a long time (before he became a High Lord), he says that he wants an open relationship, at first the reader agrees, after the years go by and Lady Autum heppens, she starts to be colder to Helion and becoms insecure about their relationship. Fast forward Helion throws a ball where someone start to flirt with him even though the reader is literally on his arm, he goes for some drinks or whatever which gives the reader the chance to escape, she does. After an hour or so Helion notices she is gone, and starts to look for her, he cant find her untill he asks a gaurd, who tells him she went to their bedroom, he finds her at first he is playfull but then relizes something is wrong. I would love if Helion said something like " you can't just leave me, I love you and we are together you cant do that, pleas" while crying hard. You can finish it however you like, presonaly a lot of angst and groveling at Helions side. If you dont fell like writing it there is no hard feelings❤️❤️❤️

Helion x reader - Always yours, never mine part 1

Hiiii, thank you for being this nice and don't worry i wrote it because I really loved the idea and there isn't enough Helion stuff here so let's change that ! 💗

Summary: in your open relationship, Helion always sneaked around with everyone, while you stayed there, waiting for him. But that was before, because solstice is the day where you are going to change that.

Warnings: angst, arrogant Helion (tbh he can 😩), heartbreak for 400 years, curse words, not proofread, my English.

Note: I didn't expect it to be this long so I'm definitely doing a part 2 ! I hope there was enough angst for you my dear and again thank you for your request and nice word !

"Everyone is looking for the sun"

"The moon only shines thank to the sun"

You had been his for 400 years. Being 550 year-old it was almost your whole life. But him, he had never been yours. In the beginning of your relationship, Helion and you had agreed that you both still could have dates or sleep with others. Well Helion had decided, and you desperately in love, had agreed. It was then an open relationship, Helion went out with other males and females, sometimes both, and you, well, you had been on dates to play by the same rules but hadn't really appreciated it. You didn't want them , you wanted and still want Helion, only him. Of course you had your moments, heated or not, together but it wasn't a proper relationship like you could dream of. It could have been okay if you weren't aware of every time he brought a lover to his Palace and didn't heard them both from dusk till dawn, but you were and you did. Oh yes you did. Like the one time of the high lord meeting when he had flirted with Mor, and had sleeped with her, asking you to go to another room. Sometimes some females even came to him while you were dancing or cuddling together and had the guts to seduce him in front of you. The pain you felt really started when he started sneaking around with the lady of autumn when he wasn't high lord yet. He then started to forget you, the one who had been truly there for him in every moment of his life, and you became insecure. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. But you couldn't leave him (if you still were in a relationship), you loved him too much it hurt you and it would kill you to do so.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Today was the first day of the summer solstice festivities. It was a day full of colors, sun, dances, music, food; your favourite day of the year. But not today, you didn't feel well. Yesterday Helion had brought 2 females in his bed, and your room being next to his, you had heard them. You hadn't sleep, overthinking the fact that you and Helion hadn't slept or been on a date together since weeks, even months. Maybe you didn't have to go today, you could stay in your room, looking from your window to the happy people partying and laughing. That's what you would do today, drown yourself in your eating thoughts and cry yourself to sleep. What a program. In front of your mirror, you changed your sun dress for a nightgown and went back to you giant bed. As if hearing your thoughts, someone knocked at the door. Groaning you opened it and what surprise for you to see the said Helion, a flirty smirk on his lips, leaning against the door frame. Gods was he beautiful. You almost hated him fro that, it made every discussion with him very difficult for you. His smile dropped as soon as he saw you in an other outfit than your party dress.

"What's going on love? At this hour you are normally already dressed up, dancing with everyone ?" He asked.

"Well I suppose it is not a normal day then" you answered turning your back to him when he tried to reach for you. You instantly regretted you gesture.

"Are you sure everything's okay love ?"

You turned back and gave him a small smile to reassure him, you always adored when he called you love, you could never resist him. "Yes don't worry, I am just feeling unwell, I think I'll stay here today and rest a little."

He froze, never had you ever missed a solstice day.

"No, no, no. Go dress up dear, I'm sure a dance with me will give you your energy and joy back." His teeth showed up again when he flashed you a smile.

"What? No-"

"And I won't take no as an answer" he shouted when he closed the door to leave you alone in the silence of your room once again. Dressing up again, you cursed him for being this convincing and yourself for being this weak. And why would he show up exactly the moment you gathered a little courage to face him about your feelings ! But maybe this time he would change, and everything would be different. You had so much hope about him. Leaving your room, you frowned and searched him in the crowd. You relaxed when you smelt his now well-known scent invading your nose and felt his arms circling your waist.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours"

"Nothing really" I answered getting out of his grasp leaving him frowning a little.

He regained his composure quickly "Then let's dance dear."

You both walked to the dancefloor and pushed someone or two on the way. As the music began, Helion led the dance, and you followed, twirling at the beautiful notes. To anyone who looked at you, it seemed that you were two beautiful gods or angels, coming from the sky and flying in the sun. Two gods meant for eachother. But Helion didn't think that, nor did you, spiralling in your insecure thoughts and doubts about yourself. But you still danced for hours, leaving the crowd only to drink or eat.

Exceptionally, you both went out in the gardens, arm in arms and hand in hand to talk intimately a little. But unfortunately, your finally rediscovered happiness was short timed when a young fae lady approached you two. Well she approached him of course. She was everything you weren't, gorgeous, a bright smile, tall, thin. Indeed, how could Helion could really love you after people like her ? Then again he abandoned you again to yourself. And almost broke down in front of everybody when you saw them dance together, and cursed yourself once again the same day for being so stupid to think that one ridiculously charming cheeky smile from him would change anything. You ran away to your bedroom, tears streaming down your face as the pain was stinging your entire body. When you loved, you loved hard, with your soul, your body, you whole. But when you felt hurt then everything in you was heart, and there wasn't a single part you that was okay.

You cried and cried on your bed without even taking the time to step out the beautiful gown you wore today. A gown he had gifted you. Damn him ! Everything you did, everything you thought about reminded you of him! He was like oxygen and water for you, a living need, everything in you was attracted by him every single second of your whole life. It was at the same time making you breathe fresh air, and killing you.

Helion, him, noticed you missing only a few dances later with that young lady when he had the project to bring her back into his bed for a sleepless night. He had the intention to inform you not to wait for him but he couldn't find you. In the heat of his moment with his futur lover, he got upset at the fact that you somehow ruined it, and grew more and more frustrated. He excused himself to the lady and went quickly and furiously to your room after asking a guard about it. There wasn't an ounce of worry in his mind.

But when he found your door open, and heard your not so silent sobs, he calmed down a little and came to your bed. Feeling his weight on the other side of the bed, you stood up quickly and wiped, in vain the tears on your cheeks.

"You crying just ruined my tonight date you know ?" Helion chuckled thinking it would make you feel better.

But in the contrary, you snapped at him and lashed out all your feelings and emotions piled up and invalidated since 400 years. Enough was enough.

"How dare you say that to the only woman who have been supporting you for every damn moment of your life? How dare you hurt my feelings and my confidence again and again and again ? During those 400, I've given you all that I had even more, I've given you all from myself : my soul, my heart, my mind and my body. But what have you given me back ? Nothing, except a broken heart and insecurity that's eating me up every fucking day of my life ! A life now resumed to hope that someday you will understand what I'm going through, you will change for the better ! But no ! It's always the same thing ! I hope and hope for you but you still disappoint me at the end of the day going back to your bitches while I stay here, abandoned again by the love of my life, the only one in my mind, you. I'm tired and exhausted to feel empty every time I see you with another while you forget about me. Some even seduce you while I'm here with you !"

Helion froze at your words, never as he ever considered or thought that you could be unwell in this relationship. "But what didn't you say anything? Plus you had also the right to go with other males or females, let me recall we both agreed to those terms in the beginning of our relation-"

"No we didn't! You said it, and I was hopelessly in love with you so it was the better I could get from you ! And I tried and tried and tried to go on other dates but they were never you ! As telling you this, I can't because everytime I see you apart from heated moment, when I try to speak to you about it, another one of your numerous lover interrupt us and you don't care about it one bit! It's like I'm only there to sleep with you and nothing more where as you go on dates and give your lovers prince princess treatment ! So tell me ! What did I do to deserve that ? What did I do ? Because I am completely and utterly yours, but Helion you have to face it, you were never mine." Rage and frustration tears were flooding your face from your angry eyes, and you were out of breath.

"Are you breaking up with me ?" He asked softly.

"Oh gods I can't believe it ! It's the only thing you have to say right now ? After all I've told you ? Then yes, yes I'm breaking up with you ! I'm done with this, with you !"

"But you can't do this love ! Please you can't leave me we are together! I love you please! Don't do that !" He pleaded and kneeled in front of you, gripping your thighs.

"As much as I love you, and as it's hurting to do so, I can't do this anymore, I don't know who I am anymore. Every time I woke up, my goal was to make you change or to spend a little time with you ! I've been erasing myself to the thought of you and I need to get out of here in order to find myself again. I'm sorry."

"But where will you go ? You live here ? It's your home! I am your home !" He cried.

"Not anymore I'm sorry. And Mor will welcome me for a time, I already sent a note to Rhys, he'll come when my stuff will be packed." As my voice broke down on the final words that seemed too real for me, I wanted it to be a nightmare, and to wake up tangled in the sheets and his arms, I got out of his firm grasp difficultly and gathered my things.

Rhys appeared instantly, and I took one last look at Helion's bent form and wet eyes before we disappeared as quickly as he came, in smoke of black shadow.

#helion x reader #helion acotar #acotar x reader #acotar #acotar x you #helion x you #rhysand #day court #writers on tumblr #angst

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