#i don't want to stop raiding this tier but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefirstknife · 8 months

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Getting real sick of a certain subset of Destiny players complaining that it’s a baby game and crying to Bungie to nerf exotics and abilities when their ENTIRE POINT IS TO BE STRONG in specific ways as if they are being locked into using them.

IF YOU WANT AN EXTRA CHALLENGE STOP BEING SUCH A DPS GOBLIN AND JUST EQUIP SOMETHING THATS NOT TOP TIER META AND STOP COMPLAINING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

MOOD. Go off.

It's incredibly annoying to me. They always use the argument of "the game should FORCE me to do things, I should not SELF-IMPOSE challenges." And like. ? I'm sorry but what? It's a video game for a big audience, it's here to be playable and accessible to the widest possible playerbase. There are plenty of ways to make the game difficult for yourself, so knock yourself out if that's your thing, but don't force others into it.

Like, I enjoy hard content, I regularly at least attempt day 1 raids, I do master raids, GMs, solo and solo flawless content and all that. But only when I want to. Sometimes I don't and I don't want to suffer in a patrol zone or struggle in a seasonal activity I'm doing for the story. The majority of the players don't want that. Designing games for the professional gamers only has NEVER been a good idea and never will be. Fifty streamers can't sustain a video game. It needs casual players who will want to come back to the game instead of feeling defeated.

One of the reasons I really enjoy helping others is because I know that casual players tend to struggle in stuff that's basic activity for me. I've seen people unable to get through a strike. I've sat for 10 minutes rezing someone who couldn't do the jump in a seasonal activity. I want those people to be able to play basic content without feeling frustrated and I want them to know that there are people out there who will help them out.

And this doesn't apply just to basic content, although it should start with that. I think all dungeons and raids and everything should be things that all players can complete. Fine, doing a master raid with all challenges should be tough, but it should be achievable with time and practice, not impossible. What a lot of these "pros" want is just completely divorced from reality.

It takes days and days of practice every time a new master raid is out for me and my team (all with thousands of hours of playtime) to get comfortable to finally finish it. We're far from casual players and it still takes a lot of time to be able to finish hard content. Making it even harder is insane to me. Like, if something is so hard that my team full of people, each with 5000+ hours of playtime and a coordinated team that's been raiding together for years now can't finish it, that means it's absolutely impossible for probably 90% of the playerbase. That's wild to me. Raids and GMs should have more people playing them. If master raids are too easy for you, Mr. I-Play-Destiny-For-A-Living, that's on you buddy. Unequip the super god tier god roll meta guns and loadouts or play something else.

And ofc, another excuse they make is "if I don't use meta, I am not going to win a raid race!" Then don't. Idk. Let me play you the tiniest violin. This affects literally nobody except a grand total of 50 people. Run your meta in day 1, and play with random shit otherwise. Play raids with all white weapons. Play without mods. Play without a HUD. Do things solo only. I don't know, make up a way to spice things up for yourself. I'm not interested in that and neither are 99% of the players out there. The game is genuinely hard enough for the majority of the players. On top of that, I am here to feel like a powerful space fantasy superhero. I am NOT here to die to dregs in patrol zones. If there's ONE thing that I know for a fact that put people off from Lightfall (as in this year of Destiny), it's the difficulty changes. They're annoying, frustrating and for some a barrier to entry more than anything else.

#destiny 2 #gameplay #ask #long post #i really do love helping but i can't not feel bad because once the people i helped are out of my fireteam...#...there's no telling what other experiences they'll have #there's so many speedrunners and people who don't care and people who just aren't helping and are instead mocking others #you can only do so much for a few people you see in activities #this season's activities are super tough. every time so far I've played everyone in the team was struggling #i'm gonna have to start going into altars of summoning with my full support build warlock just to sit in there and help people #istg the 'pros' have to get their loadouts restricted. go play with non-god tier armour sets and guns #equip the same loadout that some casual player has available and let me see you then #this idea that everyone has minmaxed best equipment available at all times is bizarre. please get your head out of your ass #'i have perfectly rolled all artifice armour with perfect stat exotics for every loadout because i have infinite time to grind' okay dude #most of us aren't being paid to play destiny. lmao #'the game used to be hard' no. you got better. you mastered it #why is this so difficult to understand. everything is hard when you first start. 5000 hours later it no longer is #the game is fine. the 'health of the game' is fine. you mastered it and outgrew it #either impose challenges on yourself or find something else #like. when i first started GMs they were almost impossible for me #now i play them for fun. they're still challenging but they're not the same level of hard and I'm fine with that #i enjoy them as content and they're still entertaining #and when a new GM comes out it's a new challenge to master so it'll be hard at the start #as everything ever in the world #if that's no longer enough for you then you just outgrew the game and should probably move on #the only reason why some things used to be hard was poor quality of life that got improved over time #not being able to mantle in d1 is not difficulty. it's just not good design. it was fixed and improved #the bitching about light 3.0 as well. man. just don't use the 'OP' fragments. it's so easy to unequip them #i personally love the variety and all the options i have now as opposed to before #okay tag essay done. fhkajhakfhksjf

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kimbapchan · 7 months

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Whew I did it, I quit my raiding static

Well, my static is still my friends and we're all on good terms. But i feel like my relationship with ffxiv is no longer healthy. I feel more stressed to raid than I find enjoyment. I find that writing fanfictions, reading books, and going back to drawing is something I'd rather do now. I feel like I've played and raided enough in that MMO, it's time for me to retire. I had fun, trully I have, but the burnout got to me [after 3 raid tiers and 2 ultimates]. I was supposed to do TOP with my friends, but I can't even find the motivation to do P12S reclears every week. I'm just done with the game, I dont even want to do the MSQ anymore. I feel like endwalker is where I stop playing the game altogether. I might return, but not anytime soon. I don't even want to do casual content anymore. I just feel like I got so much enjoyment from the game but it's time to move onto other things. Things that would make me feel fulfilled and happy. It was fun all these years, and again, I might come back, but for now, I need to hang up my scythe and chakrams and call it a day. Good game, everyone.

#ffxiv

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grootficguy · 7 months

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i know the big bang theory isn't made for geeks and most of the scientific information presented in the show is incorrect but the big one that really prodded my gallbladder until bile ejected itself forcefully and violently from the nostrils is the episode where they're playing world of warcraft. as a wow player of 16 years, here's everything wrong below the readmore. idc if this gets notes im autistic and needed to vomit this out of my brain.

howard (i think) is lured by a troll woman under a bridge and gets mugged for all his gold. due to the language barriers in-game, this would be inter-faction PvP which can only happen by accepting a duel. also, players cannot be looted when they die. you can't even die in a duel. this shakily implies that he traded her all his gold, then followed her to a bridge and got ganked. if that is the case, he would be an alliance player with pvp flagging on. also, alliance can't trade with or speak with horde. (unless he was playing a demon hunter, in which case the troll would also have to be a demon hunter, and trolls cannot be demon hunters.)

raj says he's talking to an orc under a bridge in thunder bluff. the bridges in thunder bluff do not have ground beneath them. if you're "under a bridge in thunder bluff", you're about 50 feet beneath thunder bluff, in mulgore.

sheldon mourns the loss of his "battle ostrich" named "glen", implying that his level 85 blood elf was a hunter, and had a pet ostrich. these don't exist in the game. pets cannot be stolen, either.

howard says he found a tavern where black market weapon trades happen. the black market is a real thing, but it's never in any taverns. also, weapons that can be traded can just be put on the auction house. meeting someone in a tavern to give them the gold for a weapon is just way more difficult for everyone involved for no reason?

raj says other players are undressing his (female) character with their eyes, and howard tells him to stop dropping her sword and bending over to pick it up. if you "drop" (i.e., trail the weapon off your character screen and into the world) your weapon, you'd be asked if you're sure you want to delete it, and then it gets deleted. /bend isn't even an emote. raj also says he'll have sex with the goblin that raided sheldon's account. this is also something you cannot do. again, goblins are a horde race, and it seems they play horde. a goblin can't kill you if you're both players in the horde.

the main four arrive at "the gates of elzebub". not a place.

leonard tells everyone not to panic as this is what the last 97 hours of gameplay have been about. it takes 10 minutes maximum to travel anywhere in the game. unless he's referring to raid prep time. if this is the case, they would be wiped instantly. 4 players isn't enough for one dungeon, let alone a raid. also, you'd need to be really sucky at farming for potions, gems, vantus runes etc., if it takes you four days to prep. i raided with a high tier mythic guild EU and i prepped for like half an hour every raid night?

howard says a horde of goblins are guarding the sword of azeroth. weapon doesn't exist. virtually all goblins in the game are neutral and only attack you if you attack them. (venture co. and horde guards upon aggroing to an alliance player being notable exceptions.)

howard tells raj to "blow up the gates". nowhere in the game requires you to blow up gates to gain access, except uldum. raj then presses CTRL + Shift + B to cast whatever his gate blowing up spell (doesn't exist) is. not saying you can't do this, but STRL + Shift + B is such an awkward and clunky keybind. you'd use Q, E, R, F, V, Z, X and sometimes S before using B.

they're pulling off a highly challenging and intense raid with four players on laptops without mice. no.

raj begins spamming a cast key at a speed MUCH quicker than the cooldown for ANY spell in this game.

leonard says "my tail is prehensile, i'll swat him off". there are only four races in the game with tails: draenei, tauren, lightforged draenei, highmountain tauren, dracthyr, and vulpera. none of them have prehensile tails. in fact, nothing in this game has a prehensile tail that i can think of. there's like one hozen in pandaria that swings from a tree.

"tonight i spice my meat with goblin blood" you don't need to eat in wow for any reason other than gaining a stat buff, or to regain health. also, goblin blood isn't a reagent for cooking.

Sheldon gets the sword of azeroth, which isn't a thing. Also, Leonard tells him to use a "sleath spell". (reading from a transcript here.) i have no idea what this is. he also describes himself as a "rogue night elf". aside from putting the class before the race which is icky, rogues can't cast spells. also, above, sheldon was a night elf, not a blood elf. he also had a pet, making him a hunter, not a rogue. if he was a night elf, he wouldn't be able to play with the others as they seem to have horde characters.

15. sheldon couldn't just take the sword. the game would ask everyone to roll need before greed. or else it would be personal loot, where there is a small chance of the sword dropping for any player. he then sells the sword on ebay, which wouldn't be possible, as the only people he could trade a soulbound item to would be the others in his party at the time, within a 2 hour window. to be fair, howard buys it immediately so like, whatever. but it's still weird that he put it on ebay.

so yeah i hate this show for being so distinctly not made for geeks, but this stabbed me right in the autism.

#wow #world of warcraft #tbbt #the big bang theory #sheldons bing bong big boy bazinga burger

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helloliriels · 2 years

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Can I do one of your fake fic titles?

I was thinking: “Dungeons, Dragons and Detectives”

Dungeons, Dragons and Detectives

"He called me a twink? I'm not a twink, John. My gear is top tier raid lvl, BiS ... except for my staff?! I don't understand. Do you need a HoT before you-?"

"Sherlock, I think he means-YES! Might need more even, I'm going in! I think he means-"

"I know what a twink is, John! I could see if i was wearing MC40 gear and running around Stormwind trolling general chat for raids like it was 1999! But you- Christ, John! Don't just go storming in! Let me heal you UP first!"

"2006," John corrected.

"Fine, 2006. But seriously, John, he's an idiot! It's not like I prematurely level capped? Can't he see I'm at 80 already?"

"No, Sherlock-"

"Should I ask him what he meant? I think I will-"

"SHERLOCK HE MEANT IRL!"

Sherlock stopped typing. Stopped chatting in vent. Stopped everything.

The only sound John's tapping and clicking ...

After a moment he opened his mouth, and then closed it again.

"... Sherlock?" John's voice sounded scared now ...

"How can I be a twink in real-Oh!"

The line went quiet again.

"How'd he get that impression?"

John growled over the line, "I'm gonna pound you into submission! Sherlock, HEAL!"

"Yes, John," Sherlock purred into the line ... clicking away obediently,

"There!"

"There!" They both cheered, panting.

"WoohoOoo!" John hooted, "you want this Sherlock?" He asked.

"Give it to me!"

"Now that's sexy," John remarked, giving Sherlock the pink staff.

Sherlock's priest posed beside John's Bear. Taking a screenshot by the dragons head.

"You should roll a pally, John. Look far more heroic in a set of gleaming armor while swinging that hammer," Sherlock taunted, "be my conductor of LIGHT!"

"See ... it's lines like that-" John started.

"What?"

"What ...?"

" ... "

"Fair point."

| WoW | twink | someone take away Sherlock's keyboard |

#twink #wow #johnlock #fake fic titles #ask games #liri answers #haha #had fun with this one #ty for the ask!

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hikari-ni-naritai · 7 months

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Hello Emily! I have a problem. I want to do high-end content like Voidcast Extreme, Criterion dungeons and maybe even at some point savage, but its so very intimidating... I play healer so I feel extra responsible for fucking up, and even if I watch guides, half the stuff in party finder is illegible to me.. Not to mention stuff like materia or food or melds and all that.. how do you start stuff like this? Sorry for so many questions it's just so much haha

It's a lot for sure!

The first thing I'd recommend is to get yourself into the ffxiv discord channel The Balance. They've got separate channels full of information for each job, so you can find guides and best-in-slot information that'll help you get your character prepared. Obviously you won't have best in slot gear since you haven't tried savage, but they've also usually got gearsets for starting out the latest tier that includes mostly crafted gear and normal raid gear, and if you've been buying tome gear, that'll be good to have as well! You also will be able to see the materia priority for your job (most jobs prioritise crit, but I don't know much about healing beyond that you may want higher piety when starting out bc it increases mp regen) and the best food for your job. Potions as well, but if you're just starting out it's not super necessary. Another thing you'll find there is fight-specific guides for your job! If you know which fight you're looking to get into, you can look at one of them and it should tell you the optimal strategies for healing, like if there's any abilities you should use for specific mechanics.

Party finder jargon is admittedly a fucking nightmare. It's all shit that got sorted out like when the fight released and after an amount of time it becomes kind of unparseable. Some things I would recommend are looking up a guide and trying to match the pf strategies to the mechanics (some guides will actually tell you what pf is calling each strategy) or, if you can get into a practice group early, ask the party leader if there's a particular guide they're following.

That's another thing, too. You can't go into harder content without being OK asking questions to strangers. You are going to need things clarified, you are going to need help, and that's fine! Most people are very accommodating in prog groups. You're all there to learn, and it's so much easier to learn if you're communicating! Most people understand this, so it's okay to ask questions and importantly, it's okay to fuck up. You have to get used to fucking up because you are GOING to fuck up. I recommend not drawing attention to it unless you need to ask for clarification on how a mechanic works.

The most important thing though is that you gotta get out there and do it. There's never going to be a point where you can say "well I've prepared enough and read enough, I feel comfortable attempting this!" It's a very intimidating thing to get into, and it's natural to be a little (or a lot) scared! Do what you can to prepare, and then jump in. You can ease your way in if you can find fresh prog parties for older extreme trials (shouldn't be too hard since people are always farming mounts), but you still just kinda have to do it scared. It's a learning experience. I started doing harder content in shadowbringers with Hades when he came out, and i was still learning new things about high end raiding well into endwalker. Hell, just last week I changed my whole damage rotation bc what I was doing before wasn't optimal.

A few assorted tips before you go. Don't let your global cooldown timer stop, make sure you're casting something as often as possible (if you need to stop for movement, it's fine, but see if you can work in a way to save instant casts for that mechanic). Healers are usually on the right and left side when assigning clock spots, and if this differs for a fight, guides will let you know. If you go into high end content without melds or food, you're basically considered griefing and people will shit talk you, so make sure your gear is melded and you have food that's good for your job. Doing mechanics always takes priority over dealing damage, so don't get greedy with your spells. You should learn how to slidecast for mobility, also. If you're unfamiliar, there's a specific point at which the game considers your spell to be fully cast before the castbar fills, and at that point you can move without interrupting your cast. You can get a feel for it with practice, but it's recommended to drag an emote onto your hotbar. When it lights up during a cast, you're safe to start moving. Practice this on a training dummy in your downtime! I don't know which healer you play, but every job has an opener you should learn which will get you set up for each fight. This is mostly important for barrier healers who want to make sure the whole party has shields for the first raidwide, but also important to learn for pure healers too. You can find that on the balance as well. Get used to dying, you're going to die a lot! Blacklist toxic players! And most important, have fun! You're playing a game, so don't get hung up on failing or other people's failures. If you find yourself getting mad, it might be good to excuse yourself and try again another time. Good luck anon! You can always come back if you have more questions!

And when you start savage join my static please please please I'm so lonely

#ffxiv

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ragtimedrakes · 1 month

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ok here's my tierlist like I promised

s tier:

hephaistos 1: i LOVE THIS FIGHT!!! my only gripe is the way cooldowns get misaligned depending on which transformation you get first. but it's sooo fun otherwise I love all the transformations I love snake <3 hephaistos 2: I <3 high concept. healing this was a blast athena 1: I wish I got to heal this (and athena 2) tbh... I think I disliked progging this but doing it for reclears the past couple weeks it's been really easy and smooth. I just don't like superchain 2b that mechanic sucks.

a tier:

hippo: hippo. I enjoy the water slide mechanic even if it pissed me off for my enochian timer. the stacks are fun hesperos 1: funny vampire man I like him. I think I had a lot of small gripes with mechanics but not enough to put him lower than this bc I enjoyed the fight. I think pinax is funny and I enjoyed the bloodsucker mechanic a lot. passing rot is fun hesperos 2: I enjoy the themeing of this fight a lot. I think act 3 is super mid but the rest of the acts are quite fun even if they're a little simple in hindsight? the thorns obscuring the mechanics is the only really hard part. that said I think curtain call is fun even if it's basically just a heal check carbuncle: tha buncle. stellar first fight of a tier it's just an impeccably designed fight. no notes kokytos: another good first fight imo. "limit cut" is fine I think it's fun. the second one is kind of pointless but whatever. I had a good amount of fun doing this on black mage specifically pandaemonium: this fight sucks bad in a good way. it hates you so bad it wants you dead this giant fucking spider HATES YOU. playing it on black mage makes me seethe like no tomorrow but whateverrrr I'm not thinking about that I'm over it. every mechanic in this fight is pretty fun except for what I call "stupid spinny thing" at the end because it's stupid themis: I love themis <3 my themis <3 honestly he's such a nothing fight to be completely real the only mechanics are like. dark and light + letter of the law. and dark and light is kind of mid. but whateverrrr he makes me happy athena 2: recency bias maybe but she's funnnnn. I like caloric a lot because I'm crazyyyy and I love these kinds of really precise movement mechanics. pangenesis is fun except for when I'm a 0 I hate being a 0. fuck that. honestly the more I think about it I could probably drop this down but I do genuinely like caloric. and I think gaiaochos is really fun. this fight is carried on its theming imo

b tier:

erich: my buddy erich you're a very easy fight but I love you. I still remember the stupid ass encounter I had on my first week raiding but I love you. hegemone: I enjoy this fight a lot but I don't think I can justify putting it in a tier. I'm sorry hegemone I saw your epic parasite worm... cachexia is really fun

c tier:

phoinix: oh my sweet awful fucked up bird. this bird hates you in the same way pandaemonium does but the difference is I was stuck in this stupidass fucking fight for months. FUCKING MONTHS!!!!!! it makes me so fucking mad. if I stop to think about this rationally I think phoinix is pretty fun it could definitely be b tier at least. but it's so fucking ass man agdistis: it literally took me a few minutes to remember her name. sorry girl. she's fine. I actually enjoy purgation a lot and I think the harvests are pretty fun mechanics on their own but the design of the fight sucks such ass. very sad

#vul plays ffxiv

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dzpenumbra · 2 years

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9/24/22

Today was much better, but really fuckin weird. I got like 4 hours of sleep, woke up and smoked. When I went back to bed, my inspiration just cracked wide open. I started combining different cool ideas I had seen that I really thought were doing something new and original. I started stitching them together to make a series idea that I was so excited about that I literally couldn't stop talking about it, for 2 hours. I was on a goddam roll. So I got up, made some spicy chicken ramen in the microwave and started writing it down.

Think Survivorman, but Rimworld. No more settling down and building a fortress with killboxes and shit. We're going nomad. And my chat is going to guide our journey. I mean... the Patrons will, of course... And current Twitch subs.

I think I'm going to leave Twitch for YouTube. I dipped my toes in the water years back, the adjustment would be minimal at worst. The only reason I'm on Twitch in the first place is because I could get money there. Because getting Affiliate was easier to achieve than getting 1000 Subscribers on YouTube. It's much easier to get 5 friends to watch your streams (or in my case, 5 strangers pretending and trying to be my friend) than to get 1000 followers on your no-name YT channel when you have no friends. Then YT has to actually approve you for donos and shit. So... I just figured Twitch would be easier to get started on and stuck with it. Raids are a thing too, but whatever.

I was thinking I could use a dono menu as incentive to get my Partnership and unlock money making abilities. Like... people can donate to set ingame goals for the character(s), off a list so it doesn't get too "I gave you money and you couldn't do what I asked". And they can help me get exposure in order to unlock that menu and be able to use it. Patreon Tiers could work too, but I really just kinda need to keep it on one site. People just don't like jumping onto other websites than where they're at. I would really like to incentivize Patreon shit directly through YT and make the rewards more visible on my end (like their Patreon Tier in chat or whatever), but yeah, maybe that's coming up in the future if they try to merge or at least work together with them or something.

I want this thing to be running at all times. No pausing. No fast forwarding. So this character is living in real-time with the stream. This would be really fucking good for a subathon, too. And the best part... if I can figure out a UI substitute for those shitty green screened cameras pointing at the streamer... But instead the Rimworld colony there... ideally if people could just listen to the same audio track but swap between Rimworld and whatever I have on the other monitor... Because then I can do art streams, and music streams, and even Minecraft streams... while I'm streaming Rimworld. The colony will always be running and I can just tab over to check in, I already have follow-cams set up to follow the colonists around.

I get so immersed in these ideas, they get so visceral. I can see myself at a desk hosting this. I can feel the cold morning feeling that would be my equivalent of PiG's morning coffee and breakfast in his Sydney apartment with his wife. As I get up and get my day started with Max, and check in with chat, who is watching my replays as I sleep. Like, I can really see that happening. I try to keep that hope, that mental vision, that hypothetical scenario, alive and fuel belief and faith in it. And what happens? People don't see what I see in it. They fall flat. They are just like... "oh, that's cool." Or something monotone. Emotionless. Like I just told them about a cool new type of tax filing form I heard about. Actually, they might be more interested in that, to be honest.

It takes this drive, this inspiration, this divine spark. I love that term for it, I want to keep that one! It takes that divine spark, and snuffs it out. It feels like they almost consume it. It's hard to tell, because whether they consume it or destroy it, I feel loss either way. But my Mom made a point to let me know she had an insane day and barely slept. She's running on fumes. I just went into my own head and clarified a few things about my Mom, she's got some health issues and doctor-related things. I don't like talking about others' personal demons specifically, but let's just say it's very justified. She won't go to a doctor. Neither will my dad, about anything. And they're in their late-60's and early 70's. So... I hope since my sister in law is a doctor... she might be able to urge my Mom in the right direction.

I don't want to talk about this. Too much doctor stuff in my life right now, a bit too spooky. Maybe another night. I wanted to focus things back into bringing some light to the end of my day. I chatted with my mom, it was overall very good. I made a huge batch of Falafel, Tzatziki and sliced tomato and ate fuckin all of it. With some limeade on the side. *chef's kiss* And smoked first, too, this new indica-dominant hybrid. And watched skate videos that were just absolutely amazing. Like, they captured skating so fucking well. NKA Vids - https://www.youtube.com/c/NkaVidsSkateboarding check him out, good lord. It's seriously just like going skating with your friends, the same fucking vibe. I miss that shit so much. It was so refreshing to get to watch this guy's POV as he's waiting for a security guard to climb a 10 floor parking garage to kick him and his friends out. Scary, of course, but like... I remember being that! I don't miss being yelled at or told to leave, people screaming and insulting us and treating us like vandals. But I miss the adventure of finding new spots, and checking out this new place your friends heard about, or skating the go-to spot. Going with your friends. Rooting eachother on. Tossing out trick ideas, riffing off eachother. I hope I can really get my ass to start skating before the snow, there's not much time left. But I WILL snowskate this year, hold me to that, I just need to figure out where, because I likely wont' have yard access anymore. I'll try to connect locally on reddit or drop by the skate shop or something. I'd love to street snowskate too, but I'd like power in numbers on that if I'm in a city. Don't wanna be doing that alone.

I threw together a modlist on Rimworld, everything but the UI and the no-pause mod are pretty much good to go. I listened to my brother's music on loop the whole time. Oh shit no, so I did my SketchDaily first (which was REALLY sick and abstract for once...), listened to music during that, then went over to Rimworld after.

I sent a message to my brother, told him that I had been listening to his shit, that I liked specific tracks, that I was really impressed with his range and really like the direction he's going lately. The poor guy has 0 followers, I can't even follow because I don't have an active SoundCloud, I can't figure out which email the account I want to access is associated with because I haven't used it in like... 8 years? 9 years? I connected him with my Insta. It felt like progress. We haven't talked in several years, we've had some big fights. We both have PTSD pretty bad, and both of us suffered great losses recently. I have a bit more experience... just... exposure-wise than he does. Which obviously isn't a competition - but interestingly enough almost always is perceived as such... - but it does sorta... lessen the shock of things slightly?

It's hard to describe, kinda like getting used to the temperature of a tub or something. Like scalding hot water will hurt you no matter what. But if you've been in that tub for a while, you sorta adjust to it, even if it stays the same temperature. And I feel like though he's had some losses and conflicts, he hadn't really suffered profound loss until recently. Where I have had it peppered in around my life for a decade at least, probably even longer. So I've just kinda been in the tub a bit longer. And with that experience, comes adapted tricks, learned lessons. They're all catered to the user of course, but you never know... maybe just hearing the method of learning lessons in the moment could be helpful. You never know, and I always feel like it's worth trying. Trying to pass on your lessons learned, so others can make their own choices with a broader spectrum of information.

Things have gotten very bad. In my life, in my relationships, in the world. Maybe it's just growing up. Maybe it's always been this way. But I see Fear running rampant. Consuming everyone around me. And it just keeps getting stronger. And it stares me in the eyes every now and again too. And I'm gonna feed my ego a little bit here and quote myself from 2008 - "Fear, her ugly face is poking through the clouds again. I've gotta stare her in the eyes and tell her this time she won't win." I feel like I've even evolved beyond this. Maybe this is what Joseph Campbell was talking about with the Dragon and the Demon. Like... dealing with the dragon is a way of dealing with a problem. Slaying, defeating, martyring, consuming, conquering - fighting the dragon. But with the demon, the relationship is just so much different, and the way of dealing with it is much more... conversational. At least in my recent experience, it's been very intentional on my behalf and it seems to be very successful. With the demon, and other spirit work of the kind, I've been... I don't want to say it, but kinda becoming friends with my demons. At very least uneasy allies. I'm learning to sit down and parlay with my Fear. Listen to what it has to say, have it listen to what I have to say, conference together, float ideas, brainstorm, then come to a course of action after. Not cowering from Fear, not facing it in battle, not consuming it, not letting it consume me, but sitting down and having a cup of tea with it.

I've talked about this before, but yeah... that's the stage I've been trying desperately to work on and integrate naturally. Weed helps tremendously. It allows my nasty fears tons of creative energy to tap into, that can go great like my inspiration time today, or shit like my freakouts a few years ago. They're both important. All that info is super important. So rather than do this "I'm Light, you're Dark, grrrrr" bullshit, we both agree we have a common vested interest in surviving together. Me and my Fear, we're both stuck in this soul together. For good. Because we're parts of the same personality. We might as well try to get along, learn a common language. And you only learn language through practice.

It's 6AM, and I got all fuckin existential again when I really wanted to go to bed. :( This strain is very inspiring, I'm actually slightly worried it might make me more mentally active before bed, rather than slowing me down and relaxing me as intended.

I'm going to see how my mom is doing tomorrow, and hopefully hear back from my brother about maybe hanging out. I want to go back to the river, I'd love to share that place. I made the offer, but no solid answer. Maybe I'll try to just say I'm going to the river regardless tomorrow afternoon, I miss looking for stones.

#diary #journal #stream of thoughts #spilled thoughts #online journal #mental health #stream of consciousness #self care #self improvement

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strapskinkstories · 2 years

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Fuck you illegal fireworks users

I slept like utter shit last night. I got to sleep at 1:30AM after the psychopaths finally stopped blowing off illegal fireworks in our town. I was up at 5AM because people start mowing the lawns and doing shit that fucking early.

I'm beginning to wonder if this township has gone as bad as Chicago, only thing missing is gun violence. The fireworks violators are sickening. It's no wonder that people are moving out in droves and real estate costs a fortune here, because nobody wants to live in a shithole town that is host to a bunch of apartment dwelling trailer trash hicks who can't seem to understand that fireworks are ILLEGAL.

If I were in control of the federal reserve and I got to jack up interest rates 0.25% each time I had to roll a police car, every year around June 10th thru July 10th interest rates would slowly surge to 100% before calming down before surging around Christmas into New Years Day.

Those two rate surges alone would decimate the stock exchanges and DESTROY the economy.

People groan and gripe about how high property taxes are. Have you ever looked at how much the police guzzles in funding? A lot of that is because of the many callups they have to deal with because people can't simply obey CIVIL ORDINANCE.

Do me a favor fuckers, OBEY THE LAW or I will find you and I will throw you behind bars.

You are as bad as a gun carrying terrorist if you blow off fireworks in the middle of the night.

Did you know that banks and many home security systems of upper tiers employ bomb detection systems? Such systems are triggered by the sound of explosives. Every false alarm costs a lot of money. A hotel I was at in mid 2019 was raided by Department of Homeland Security and SWAT when they thought there was a terrorist plot to bomb the area being activated. Lo and Behold it was some jackass blowing off fireworks in their yard behind the hotel.

I don't appreciate having an AK47 or whatever the fuck kind of assault rifle the SWAT team was holding pointed at my face while a pair of officers search my room for "illegals" while I'm in the middle of waiting for our god damn paperwork to go through on the mortgage.

I will never forget, and never forgive the fuckface who made me endure having a god damn assault rifle pointed at me without good reason. I will never forgive the fuckface who made every guest in a hotel endure that horrible nightmare. Worse yet Super 8 a division of Wyndham Hotels Group couldn't be bothered to refund me for my room, they damn well should have considering I'm an ELITE at their Wyndham chain hotels. But apparently a Wyndham ELITE badge gets you nothing at a Super 8.

I swear to God and to the Department of Homeland Security. If I ever find you TERRORIST SCUMBAGS blowing off fireworks in my township, I will do everything I can in my legal powers to have you evicted from your home and ejected from the state!

Every firework is like a gunshot to my brain. Every firework is a chance for bank or hotel gunshot and bomb detectors to be tripped, often causing an EXPENSIVE and TRAUMATIC DHS/SWAT/Police response.

STOP IT WITH THE FOOLISH ENTERTAINMENT YOU FUCKFACES!

Go watch a laser show, go mess with some lasers and drones, go to a night club or blare the stereo in your houses basement. I don't fucking care. But STOP, USING, EXPLOSIVES!

Let's celebrate American freedom by making DHS and SWAT have to react to what sounds like a mass shooting. Fucking thanks, thanks for the $40,000 DHS call up fee. Thanks for nearly bankrupting a hotel, thanks for ruining my trip, thanks for costing ME PERSONALLY $1400 and a permanent scar upon my brain.

Nothing like celebrating America like blowing up a part of the sky.

Ever think about the environment? Ever think about the carbon discharge? Ever think about the potential hazard to wildlife? Of course not, because Americans are SELFISH PIGS!

I rest my case. There will not be a story tonight, I had one mostly typed up but instead I'm releasing this rant. Maybe someone will fucking listen up.

It's time to treat fireworks as what they are. TERRORIST EXPLOSIVES!

People operating illegal fireworks should be hunted down by DHS and thrown in federal prison or extradited out of the nation.

We don't have time for foolish entertainment like pretty colors in the sky generated by EXPLOSIVES when we can do the same with LASERS!

Explosives are dangerous to wildlife and also still require notification of aviation authorities.

Lasers can be done in the same way without a danger to wildlife and with minimal danger to aircraft, especially if aircraft are notified of a laser performance and told to either route around it or use IFR navigation rules.

#stop illegal fireworks #fireworks are lame #fireworks are terrorism #DHS #Homeland Security #Chicago NW Suburbs #Chicago Is a DUMP #Illinois SUCKS

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icharchivist · 2 years

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Aaaaaa those honors! I hope one day I can girlboss like you Dx

Pspspspspsps tell me your secrets

DKJFDGLKFML GIRLBOSS LIKE ME......... THIS IS SUCH A WAY TO SAY IT

My secret is, unfortunately, both a mix of insulting luck and determined grinding.

Insulting luck because i have the Bubs summon to help me do the Extreme + raid in 3 click (Bubs + Relic Buster sk1 and full burst skill), and Nehan as a buffer for nm90 that means i can just Full auto nm90 and finish it in one turn/less than a minute.

Determination as in, i've been grinding about non stop for the past 10 hours, usually alternating between ex+ and nm90 in order to have a stable honor count

(originally it started bc our crew tries to go Tier A and we weren't many online so i went ham to try to help on that regard, but now i'm just glad i'm in second position in the top so i'm just fighting to keep my place there while my crewmates who are way more powerful than me but less online are catching up on me DKLJFDLKFJ. And well i'm interested in some of the highest honor rewards but last time i just barely made it to 500M so i'm just hoping to manage a pace to redo it this time around too)

bc tbh my grind isn't up to date at all, i barely grinded Horus and i don't have the Metatron's weapon needed for a proper grind, so i just use my usual grid that is good for survivability but not exactly for strong initial attack. And i guess bc i'm still using my crest chara i have the crest boost that helps?

so yeah i can share my teams if you want but the thing to know about me is really just that i'm extremely persistant gws wise and that my teams/grids don't matter as much as the fact i have been resetting raids that take me less than a minute nonstop for the past 10 hours and that's the real deal.

Good luck nonny :3c

#ichablogging gbf #ichablogging gbfgws #ichareply #anonymous

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luv4fandoms · 5 years

Text

Of Wood and Steel-CH1.

So this story was originally inspired by this post from @tolkien-fantasy that I agree 100% with lol.

So here is chapter 1 of my story, you can also find it on ao3 if you prefer reading there.

I do not own the canon characters, but I do own Elizabeth, Abby, Benjamin, and Thistle.

Part 2

Chapter 1- Coming home again.

Warnings- None

Word count-2,078

The song used in the story can be found here

“Go Belstram I'll hold them off!” I yelled to the young man beside me, though we were so close, our voices were faint amongst the roar of our enemies.

“I can't leave you here Elizabeth!” He yelled back, stabbing yet another foe.

“You have to! I'll hold them off, you complete our mission! Now go!” I yelled, pushing further into the throw of enemies, if their attention was on me, Belstram could escape easily. My axe came in contact with enemy after enemy, one blow after another as I watched the crowd begin to thin, but it was not without price. My body began to tire of blocking blows from every angle, and just as I sidestepped one sword, I had to block another. But alas...A sweet sound rang through the air, one louder than the roar of enemies I found myself amongst...The victory horn.

“Not again!” One of the men cried out, all of our weapons lowering, the ones who had “died” stood from their fallen places upon the ground, some mumbling curses, some patting my shoulder and saying “good game”, yes, good game.

“Who knew capture the flag could be so brutal” my friend Abby or “Ava” as she was known in our larp group, said as she walked up to me, water bottle in hand.

“Well when we both want to win,I suppose it can get competitive” I laughed, nodding my thanks as I took the bottle and drank.

Benjamin or “Belstram” soon came jogging up to us while we made our way back to our camp.

“You did it!” Abby cheered, jumping into her boyfriend's arms.

“I had to protect my queen, if they would have gotten our flag, they would have gotten you” He replied before leaning down to kiss her.

“Please excuse me, your majesty, I must go before I lose my lunch” I laughed while making my way to the woods for our next game.

“Are we 23 or just 5 Elizabeth?” Abby called after me, laughter in her voice.

“I don't know, are we 23 or 15?” I called back before disappearing into the brush. Abby and I had been friends for several years, but it's only the past three years that I have been part of her LARP scene. The factions that usually partook in the event were the Orcs, Humans, Dwarves, and Elves…Abby, or rather, “Ava” is the Elvish queen, and though my character is only human, I am in the Elvish faction, though you will find other races scattered amongst the other factions, except the Orcs...Nor will you find any Elves on the Dwarf faction and vice-versa.

Games usually consisted of all out battles, Capture the flag, Raids, and my favorite...Quest of Glory. A game where the brave follow quests given to them by “NPCs” where they must battle a tiered party member before advancing...Why is this my favorite? Simple, as a high ranking party member, I'm the last they battle before going to Abby, and it's rare that people get that far, So I get to rest.

Climbing into my claimed spot, aka a 100 year old tree that resided on the oldest trail in our state park, I made myself comfortable and waited...Maybe drifting off into a light sleep.

“The journey's over; another's just begun

Beneath moonlight, but by the warming sun

I seek to hold you in sunshine or rain

Beneath the heavens, I'm coming home again”

The soft tune drifted along the wind that blew past, and though I hadn't heard the voice or song before, I chalked it up to just another player singing.

“So far we drifted, like ships upon the sea

Horizons fading, we lost to destiny

Storm clouds hover; our vanity like pain

Which held back the winds that bring us home again”

The song struck a strange cord within me, it was almost...familiar...and yet I knew that I had never heard it before. I watched as scenery flashed behind my eyelids, an open field of lush green grass, small mounds adorning it, and upon closer inspection, the mounds had windows to the houses that resided inside. Next a beautiful waterfall that ran alongside a breathtaking city, finely sculptured architecture making it stand out from the trees that dotted the land...And lastly...A mountain, tall and intimidating, yet the face of it showed detailed and beautiful stonework, two large statues of dwarves flanked the entrance.

“What are these places?” my mind wondered as I stared at the scenery in my mind, but my vision was soon disrupted by another voice, this one male, a soft sweet tone that spoke in only a whisper.

“amrâlimê” the voice was so quiet, almost as if the person didn't want to be heard, or hadn't meant to say it. But the tone was so full of longing, and a promise of happiness.

“ Could I see, now, the swallows in their flight

Watch the moon dance on oceans in the night

The trees reach upward to help the birds to fly

And of the creatures who'll hear them when they cry”

The scene changed once more, to that of a deep and dark forest, a forest that seemed old as if time itself never touched it...And yet it felt very...Alive.

“We walk the hillside like lost souls in the night

And in the darkness, we're searching for the light

And in the morning, like freshly fallen dew

Much like a moon's breath, I'm coming home to you”

From the dark of the forest a soft orange glow took over, the crackle of a fire could be heard before I swear I felt a light kiss being pressed to my cheek.

“amrâlimê” the voice whispered again, so sincere, so full of admiration, a tone that would be reserved for a lover.

“This journey's over; another's just begun

Beneath moonlight or by the warming sun

For I remember that if my heart be true

Just like an eagle, I'm coming home to you”

A snow covered landscape came into view, and I felt a shiver run down my spine. Not from the cold scenery, but from the dread that made my stomach uneasy.

“amrâlimê” The voice whispered one last time, the tone stained and faded at the end, as if spoke with a final breath.

“NO!” I yelled, bolting upward into a sitting position amongst the tree limbs.

“What?” I reached up and felt my cheek and the hot tears that rolled down it.

“No” I whispered, unable to fathom why a simple voice made my heart feel like it had been torn from my chest.

“Interesting...You saw it too” A female voice spoke, startling me and causing me to turn my head towards the voice.

“Who's there?” I asked upon not seeing anyone anywhere.

“I wonder...If you could be the one?” The voice spoke again, this time the voice came from the other side. Upon looking around, I was only met with the same forest I had been in...alone.

“Show yourself!” I demanded, standing up and balancing on the branches.

“Feisty one aren't you?” The woman giggled, the voice now in front of me as a woman stepped out from between the trees. Her pale skin was covered loosely by sheer green fabric that pooled around her bare feet, her smile and face were youthful, but the wisdom in her Lilac eyes made her appear older. Her short green hair did nothing to hide the long pointed ears, and I wondered how I hadn't seen this girl on the battlefield earlier, surely she couldn't fight much with that long of a dress.

“Who are you?” I asked, her smile only grew, and in a blink...she was in front of me. I stepped back, my hand grabbing at a branch to steady myself.

“W-What? How?”

“My name is Thistle, and I'm a forest Nymph, on a mission from Yavanna to find the one, and I think you are who I am looking for” the girl smiled.

“A forest...Yav….what?” The girl simply rolled her eyes at my confusion, as if everything she just said was the simplest thing that I should be able to grasp.

“You saw the visions did you not?” she asked, my mind flashing back to the different scenery.

“The different landscapes?” I asked, to which she happily nodded.

“Those are places in my world, if you were able to see them that means that you are connected to my world, and so far, you are the only one of your world that I have found that has seen them.

“How long have you been looking?” I asked, Thistle stopped for a moment, her finger resting on her chin while she thought.

“How old is your world again? I've honestly lost count of the years” she replied.

“Holy hell” I breathed, was this really happening? Or was I dreaming right now.

Wait.

“Whose voice was that?” I asked, remembering the soft whispers.

“Singing? That was me” she beamed before adding.

“I know, I have an enchanting voice don't I?”

“Well yes” I laughed

“But I meant the man's voice”

“Man's voice?” She asked, her expression just as confused as mine.

“Yes the man whispering that word...Am...Amra-lime...I'm not sure how to say it right.” I told her now beaming face.

“I don't know to be honest, but if you also heard a voice that surely confirms that you are indeed who I am looking for!”

“To do what?” I asked

“You have told me nothing besides your name, who sent you, and that you are here to find someone” I added.

“I...I don't know” she confessed, her smile falling.

“I was simply told to find the one and bring them to our world, that it was very important for our future” she replied, looking like a small child who had been reprimanded by a parent.

“Our?” I asked

“The forest”

“Oh”

“Please come with me, I know that you are who I have been searching for!” Thistle begged. I looked into her pleading Lilac eyes for a moment before looking around. Go to another world? My family, my home was here though...My parents...Who were always visiting family that lived out of state...My brothers who...Had their own families and lives...My friends who...I really only saw during our larp events...Oh…

“amrâlimê” That sweet whisper rang in my head, a promise that perhaps...perhaps there was a reason I always felt off in this world, perhaps my happiness was somewhere else.

“When would you like to leave?” I asked, turning back to Thistle, her pleading expression turned into one of pure glee.

“Right now would be good, just try not to scream” she replied.

“Scream? Why would I scREAM?!” I yelled as I felt the branch move out from under my feet causing me to fall backwards. I waited to hit the hard ground, but I just kept falling..Surely I should have hit the ground by now shouldn't I? So why hadn't...Suddenly a hard impact struck my back and I felt the air leave my lungs...Ah..There was the ground.

Opening my eyes I gasped for breath and noticed that I was next to the tree I had been sitting in...But I was not alone, nor was I in the same forest.

“Thistle...Who is this?” A large tree...creature spoke, his golden eyes bore into mine and as I found my lungs filling with air, I tried not to scream.

“I finally found the one!” Thistle beamed as she stood beside me.

“This is the one?” The tree asked.

“Yes Treebeard, I know she doesn't look like much, but she saw the visions..and also...she heard a voice from this world” she replied, whispering the last bit rather loudly.

“Hmm” the tree hummed as he reached out and grabbed me, the scream escaped me before I even thought about it...well..looks like I couldn't keep it in.

“Loud one isn't she?” He asked sitting me upright.

“Yeah she is” Thistle giggled before looking at the tree she called Treebeard.

“So, should we start her training now?”

“It would be wise” Treebeard stated

“After all, we only have a couple of years as of now according to Yavanna” he added

“Training?” I asked, finally finding my voice

“For what?”

“Your destiny!” Thistle smiled.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you all enjoyed the story, let me know what you think 😊

#the hobbit #fili x oc #fili #kili x tauriel #thorin x bilbo #kili #thorin #original female character #fili x human #druid #original story #chapter 1 #of wood and steel #fili imagine #fili drabble

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blackuigryphonvr · 3 years

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#PokemonGo #KantoTour #Feedback #fail #PokemonGOTour #PokemonGoTourKanto

I wanted to take some time ⏲️out to think about my experience in the Kanto Tour, because I was so grumpy, disgruntled, disappointed, n bothered by how badly it went. But my emotions were so strong, that I wanted time to think about it objectively without my feelings clouding my judgment.

But, having contemplated n reflected upon it, I can conclude that my feelings were actually justified, n correct. It wasn't good. I actually paid for a very bad event, n the "Help" personnel kept trying to spin it like it was my fault, my phone 📱, or something else, like I was an ignorant child, but in rhetorically polite language.

I was so looking forward to that event, I saved my money to buy the ticket months ago, n I was so excited about it. I played the free version of GO Fest in the summer which was just TOO AWESOME that I was so exhausted I didn't even need to play Day 2 much at all.

But, I played even harder for the Kanto Tour, and I spent money like crazy!

Everything malfunctioned, especially raids, but even trying to throw balls malfunctioned.

I've gotten more shiny Pokémon from Free Community Days back when they used to be shorter events. Also, Pokémon would Despawn when I tapped them. The lag was really bad.

IT'S NOT MY PHONE ! STOP BLAMING MY PHONE! I watched top tier YouTuber w brand new phones 📱this year have exactly the same problems, but they actually got more spawns n more shinies than me.

What did I expect?

What did I want out of this event?

I wanted Shinies of:

Bulbasaur

Squirtle

Pikachu

Dratini (I did actually get this one)

Not only that but I especially wanted lots of candies n spawns for those.

But, it was just so low.

It was constantly the most annoying Pokémon Manky! But never shiny!

It's fine to see Charmander also, but I do have several shinies, but oddly that spawned way better, so I gladly grabbed them for candies. I would've also liked more Magikarp because I want the candies.

I saw some players find wild Snorlax, but I didn't see any.

The weather was so terrible that day. A blizzard for the whole morning.

I actually got up early in the morning to play the event. To be ready. I'm not even a morning person.

I played very hard until the last second.

Based on what I paid, because I blew money like crazy on it, how much effort, planning, preparation, I don't think I got my money's worth at all.

I also should've actually been able to catch all those Legendaries I paid to raid. And my Tauros raid!

I only got reimbursed for 1 pass, but it should've been like 5.

It was not good.

I'm profoundly disappointed.

I was expecting to be WOWED. But it wasn't even like breaking even. I got less 0.8333 shinies per hour for 12 hours. That's terrible.

And the cool feature that let's u play other players at the PokeStops didn't even work right either. I was actually looking forward to that.

But, I just can't feel happy about any of it.

#blackunigryphon #pokemon go #pokemon #feedback #kanto tour

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ernmark · 7 years

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I shrieked when I saw the new vixen fic, but the whole thing is giving me a bad feeling. Those men coming after Peter can't all be Valle's clients, can they? What is Peter involved in? Is Juno in danger? How attached will Juno get before he is betrayed? ( I know you're closed for prompts so you don't need to answer but I'm WORRIED and INVESTED and you need to know )

(I think writers and stock brokers are the only people who get super giddy when they hear the word ‘invested’.)

I anticipate being open for prompts again by the end of this week, right in time for the beginning of the new season.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

One of the first things Mag taught me, one of the real first rules of thieving, was a sidewalk shell game. A simple marble, a trio of identical cups, and a bit of sleight of hand. He didn’t teach me with the intention that I would ever use it– a thief of Mag’s caliber would never lower himself to such a crass scam– but because of the principle behind it. No matter how many times the cups are switched around, you always have to know which one holds the marble. Never go so fast that you lose track of the pieces in play. Never get so caught up in the game that you fall for your own con.

I wonder what Mag would think of me now?

But I haven’t. I’m getting dangerously close to a tipping point, but I haven’t reached it yet. If trouble arises, I can always disappear. I can leave Juno Steel behind at any time.

I just don’t want to, that’s all. And maybe I won’t have to. Maybe I’ll take him with me, once I’m done with Mars and Hyperion City. He could be quite handy to have around, after all. I’ve seen firsthand what he’s willing to do for me. He’s a unique asset– muscle with enough brains to be a detective, but one who won’t ask any inconvenient questions. Besides, it might be nice not to have to travel alone for a while. It’s been too long since I’ve had a partner in crime.

My darling detective, touch-starved and smitten– I’m sure he would join me if I asked him. Maybe not at first, but after a little persuasion.

After all, I’ve become quite the expert in that field.

The call comes from one of the secretaries at the HCPD. She’s an odd one, but she’s nice– and more importantly, she’s one of the only people on the force who doesn’t have it out for me.

That’s why she calls ahead to warn me. There’s been a string of robberies; the victims can’t give a good description of their attacker, but what bits and pieces they can string together match my description. Rita worries that there’s enough bad blood between me and my old precinct that somebody might try to pin it on me, just out of spite.

Thing is, they wouldn’t have to.

Because there’s something that sets these thieves apart from your average robber.

It’s always the same: the victim is yanked into a dark alley and beaten within an inch of their lives. But where another mugger might take their wallet or their keys or their jewelry, this one just walks away and leaves them bleeding.

Meanwhile, his accomplice is raiding the victim’s house for more valuable assets, stealing priceless artifacts and top-secret files and key cards to more lucrative locations. But the vic doesn’t notice– usually they’re so distraught from the mugging and the first police report that it takes them days to catch on. Weeks, in some cases. That’s why it’s taken so long for the police to realize the incidents are all related.

They all follow that pattern– all but one. A top-tier researcher working for HelixCorp. He had a set of files and prototypes stolen from a safe in his office, but the files were encrypted to hell and back again. They were useless without the decryption key, and he carried that on his person at all times in a convenient little memory card.

And then I stunned him, took the card off his unconscious body, and handed it over to Peter– Gray– whoever he is– without a second thought beyond that smile and those bright, beautiful eyes.

He’s a thief. He’s been using me all this time.

I think I’m supposed to feel shocked or betrayed or something like that, but I don’t.

It feels a whole lot more like the other shoe just dropped. Sure, I was under it when it hit the pavement, but that’s my own damn fault for not getting out of the way when I saw it coming.

Count on Juno Steel to walk right into a trap and think he’s catching a break, right?

God, I’m an idiot.

When he– Silver, Gray, Peter, whoever he is– the next time he calls me, I don’t pick up the comms. When he stops by my place, I pretend I’m not home. I’m actually not home at least once when he comes by, but when I get back home I find a bottle of scotch on my table and miniscule scratches on my lock where it’s been picked.

I should probably do something about this. Deadbolt my windows and install a chain on the door. Turn him in, or at least give his number to the cops. If nothing else, it’ll make him leave me alone.

I should.

I don’t.

#alecjmarsh #the penumbra podcast #fanfiction

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