#i could be wrong but i think this is the first time we really see mulder push back on the notion that everything goes back to his sister | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mountttmase · 2 days

Text

If I Lost You

Note - this fic was such a struggle for me but we’re here and we made it 😂 I know I haven’t uploaded in a really long time by my standards so I’d love to know what you guys think and also thank you to my besties for your help on this one, I couldn’t have done it without you 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7k

Warnings - angst and fluff

There was nothing Mason hated more than traffic. Traffic coupled with a later than usual training session was even worse

He’d been sat pretty much stationary for around 20 minutes now, slowly moving every couple of minutes but he hadn’t made it far. Eventually turning his playlist over to the radio so he could listen out for traffic updates but the flashing blue lights up ahead let him know what was happening.

He was right in the thick of it, no option to turn around and go another way, but not close enough to the front to be able to get around it yet and when a few more police cars came up to join the scene he realised it must have been a bad crash.

So he did the only thing he could do and waited. His mind wandering off to far away places that he tried not to visit too often and once he realised he was starting to spiral he quickly switched the radio back over to his playlist so he could distract himself.

It was only around 15 minutes later he’s made it to the front of the line, watching the traffic warden wave a few cars forward at a time to drive into the oncoming lane to get round and soon enough it was his turn.

He knew he shouldn’t have, but there was something making him want to look at the scene as he drove by. Head turning to the left of him to see how bad it was and the sight before him shocked him to the core.

The car was on its side, bonet crushed from hitting a lamppost and he could tell the windows had been broken to get whoever was inside free but after a few seconds the realisation that something was wrong slapped him in the face.

He knew that car. It was yours.

It was the colour that alerted him first. That specific shade of light blue he’d only ever known you to have but as he looked closer he could tell it was the same make and model as yours too. The panic rising up his chest until he thought he might have been sick but the sound of beeping horns shocked him out of his trance.

He couldn’t sit and wait and let himself process anything, the traffic officer waving him forward but it was like he was having an out of body experience. He wanted to get out and find you, the urge to scream your name was on the tip of his tongue but he did as he was told and drove forward, leaving the scene of the crime behind him but he felt too weird to carry on too much longer and pulled into a side street so he could park up and sort himself out.

There wasn’t much he could do, you hadn’t spoken in months and the only other person the pair of you had in common would no doubt tear him a new one if he called asking after you and he also didn’t want to worry everyone if it was nothing. He still needed to do something though and In the end he decided to text you in hopes you’d get back to him soon and settle his mind. You always had your phone in your hand so he knew this was the easiest way to grab your attention and hopefully speak to you.

The rest of the drive home, albeit short, was a nightmare. He couldn’t concentrate on anything and was constantly messing up but he made it back in one piece. Running inside so he could turn the news on immediately, hoping for any sign of what had happened whilst he sat and panicked. Not being able to think about anything other than knowing you were okay.

This was hell, and he hated it. But the way he was feeling for you right now was mostly his own doing.

You’d met Mason a few years ago at the after party for the final of their euros. Your best friend's brother was Rashy and she’d invited you along to watch the final, and although it had ended in heartbreak there was a certain brown eyed boy you and the rest of the world couldn't seem to tear their eyes away from.

You knew it was over for you when he came over to console Marcus, seeing how genuinely kind and concerned he was for his friend made your heart thump and when the pair of you were finally introduced you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered over you.

He couldn’t stick around too long, needing to get back to his family but you caught eyes a few times throughout the night and when you were at the bar alone he used that as his in to come and speak to you properly.

It was his smile that caught you first, but it was hard not to notice his big brown eyes and musical laugh. In the end standing and chatting until the night was pretty much over and you had to go your separate ways but he gave you his number and made you promise to message him as soon as possible.

You didn’t know what you were expecting from Mason, but what you got was a blossoming friendship and you were more than thankful he was in your life. With you living in Manchester and him in London it was hard to see each other, Mason constantly referring to you as pen pals but you took what you could with him. Going to watch him play at Wembley sometimes and seeing him in the summer or whenever he has some free time for a few days gave you something to look forward to and you loved getting to know him on a deeper level.

It was very much a will they won’t they type of relationship. As much as you adored Mason, you didn’t want things to change and you knew long distance would be hard until just over a year had passed and you decided to take the plunge. The pair of you in Greece with a big group of the other boys and their girlfriends and Mason confessed he hated the thought of maybe seeing you with someone else and was willing to put the work in for you if that’s what you wanted.

And you really did.

Being Mason's girlfriend was everything you thought it could be and more. He was still his cute charming self but you felt free being able to be with him in the way you’d secretly always wanted. Your first kiss being a little awkward but he kept you relaxed and let you go at your own pace. Kissing all over your face until you were ready to try again and now it seemed as if you couldn't get enough of him.

It did come with its own set of challenges though. Being away from each other a lot of the time took its toll and even though when you were together you always made it count, the goodbyes were getting harder and Mason couldn’t stand to see you cry everytime he had to leave again. Or your sad face on FaceTime when you spoke in the evenings when you were apart, wishing he could reach out and touch you but he was never able to give you the comfort he so desperately wanted to.

It was around March of 2023 when it all came crashing down. Mason had a lot on his plate with an injury that wouldn’t go away and Chelsea’s new owners not treating him the way he should have been. You could tell he was more down than usual and planned a trip to go stay with him for a week so he’d have someone to come home to and someone to cuddle after a long day but at first you felt like he didn’t want you there at all.

You still remember the night before he ended it all. It’s like he was back to your Mason for a bit as you made dinner and spoke on the sofa until the early hours until you went up to bed. It was like he held you extra tight that night and whilst you figured it was just because he’d missed you and he’d had a nice night you now wondered if there was more behind it. Maybe thinking he should hold you properly if it was the last time and then out of the blue, he turned your world upside down the next morning.

He tried to give you the usual spiel of it’s not you it’s me and you were about to cuss him out for being so ridiculous but one look at him and you could see how much he was struggling. Telling you he hated that he couldn’t give you what you needed at that it broke him seeing you so down when he already had so much on his plate. You knew he needed to lighten his load, you just hated that it was you that would be cut off.

You didn’t argue with him, it being clear that he couldn’t take it but you spent the rest of your day packing up your stuff into the early evening where he made you stay for one more night so you weren’t driving home in the dark.

You felt stupid, making sure he was okay even though you felt like you were dying inside but you loved Mason and even though this was hurting you more than you could possibly imagine, you kept on a brave face for him. Telling him you’d still be there if he needed you and not to hesitate calling if he needed someone to talk to.

Sleeping in the guest room that night hurt more than anything he’d said to you over the last 24 hours but you remember him coming into your room at around two am as your cries had kept him awake. Holding you and shushing you in hopes you’d get some sleep but it didn’t work and all you wanted was to go back in time and undo everything he’d said but you couldn’t. So you stayed awake and tried to remember what it felt like to hold him, what he smelt like and how his skin felt pressed up against yours.

‘Can we make a deal?’ He whispered all of a sudden and you nodded into his neck in hopes he’d feel it, knowing your voice wouldn’t hold up if you tried to speak. ‘I want you to live your life and forget about me, yeah? Like if you meet someone new I want you to go for it. But in five years time, if we’re both single, do you think we could try again?’

‘I’ll see’ you whispered, knowing he wasn’t happy with that answer by the way he kissed your hairline softly but he let it go. Knowing he didn’t have a leg to stand on after what he was putting you through.

You left the next morning early, him giving you an emotional goodbye on his doorstep but you were ready to go home and be on your own now. Mason asking if you could still be friends and if he could text you and you stupidly agreed before getting away as fast as you could but you only made it one street away before you had to stop for a big cry. Wanting to get it all out before you began your drive home and after 15 minutes you set off again. Your phone going off every so often but you ignored it until you were back in the comfort of your flat and when you saw they were all from Mason you felt sadder than you expected to.

You were curious as to what he’d deleted but you didn’t have the energy to ask so you sent him a quick reply telling him you were fine and going to sleep before taking yourself straight to bed. Too tired to be upset or over think anything and when you woke up the next morning things still hurt but you’d resigned to your fate of being his friend again.

A friend.

So you spoke here and there for a while and even though you were broken it was a fairly easy split. You remained civil and on good terms and it broke you to see how unfairly he was being treated on the field and with his whole contract saga. He kept going though like the Mason you knew and loved but when the news hit he’d had surgery it felt like your world had tumbled upside down.

You felt useless, wanting to help him as much as you could but he was so far away and you’d already used up all your holiday so you did your usual and let him phone you when he needed a chat.

Not too long after his surgery everything seemed to fizzle out. Nothing happened as such but your texts and calls came few and far between until there was nothing and when the news broke he was moving to Manchester you felt too awkward to text him. Not wanting to give the wrong impression that you expected something from him now so you left it so he could come to you.

He never did though.

You weren’t sure why he didn’t, but Mason had his own reasons. Not wanting to drag you back into the mess of his life and the fact you’d stopped messaging him made him think you were done with him and he didn’t have the heart to face your rejection no matter how much you were on his mind.

So he moved to Manchester and didn’t reach out, even though he thought about it everyday, and tried to rebuild his life without you. He was doing well but you were always there in the back of his mind, even thinking he’d seen you a few times and his tummy jumped each time before he realised it wasn’t you. He’d wanted to message you more than anything but he didn’t have the guts, even though you’d both promised to stay friends the messages had become so few and far between and now there was nothing.

As soon as Mason was inside he ran to the living room to put the news on, pausing the TV as soon as it showed the aftermath of the accident so he could get a better look before playing again to where it was panning past what he thought was your car. He managed to stop it at a point to be able to examine it more carefully and he could feel the nerves rippling through him.

Same colour, same make and model, same sticker on the back window with where the car came from, different number plate…

Different number plate.

Mason let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t you. Someone was clearly hurt and that wasn’t good but he couldn’t deny he felt lighter at the fact it wasn’t you who was in harm's way. Falling back into the cushions of his sofa so he could take a few breaths to steady himself.

You were okay.

He felt a little silly now, panicking so much when you were clearly fine but as the minutes wore on he managed to talk himself back into a frazzled state.

He didn’t know what it was, not being able to settle and focus on anything but you. Now you were back on his mind, all he could see was your pretty eyes and perfect smile.

He knew nothing about you anymore. The only piece of information left being the address of your old flat and now he was getting to know the area he knew you weren’t too far away. But he didn’t know if you were there anymore and if he did turn up whatever the chances you would even want to see him?

What if you’d moved on? Surely Rashy would have told him but Mason couldn't stand the thought of turning up at your house and a random guy being there. No doubt he’d be taller than him and funnier and be able to make all the time in the world for you and the thought of seeing you with someone who’s everything Mason isn’t made him miserable.

It was like there was an itch in his brain that he couldn’t scratch, not able to settle as his mind came out with random questions to make him doubt what he already knew. He decided against messaging Rashy, presuming he wouldn’t have much of an idea either and he didn’t want to start worrying everyone unnecessarily if there really was nothing wrong.

Maybe he read it wrong and it was your number plate? Or maybe you’d changed your number plate and it was you all along? Why hadn’t you answered his texts yet either? Was there an innocent explanation or had he missed something and it really was you that was hurt?

The only thing he did know was that he couldn’t stay in and drive himself insane. Eventually coming to the conclusion that a run would clear his head so he quickly changed into some shorts and a hoodie before setting off. No particular place or destination in mind, just the need to let off some steam and clear his mind.

When the rain started to fall he cursed under his breath. Too far away from home to turn around and avoid it and also not done with his run as he was still feeling on edge so he grit his teeth and carried on. Weaving in and out of streets until he started to recognise where he was a bit more.

Maybe it was just a coincidence he ended up here, like in the back of his mind this is where he needed to end up to finally put his mind at rest but as he stopped to get his breath just outside of your building he only felt worse.

Your car which you always parked in the same spot was nowhere to be seen, and the flat he knew to be yours had all of the lights off but the curtains were open. Like you’d been out and not made it home yet to shut them and he felt sick to his stomach at the thought.

‘No no no no no’ he whispered under his breath, not understanding where your car was and it seemed like only the worst possible outcome was the right one.

He knew it was a bad decision to come here but he’d done it anyway and now his mind was spiralling more than he thought possible.

He thought about going home but the need to see that you were fine with his own two eyes outweighed everything else and before he knew it he was running up the path and standing outside your front door with his hand poised to knock.

What am I supposed to say? He thought. I thought you were dead so I came to check you were alright? No, he couldn’t but he knocked before he had a chance to think of anything else. Waiting anxiously as he heard a few noises from behind the door but if you were there then you were taking forever to answer.

As soon as you opened the door he felt his body flood with relief. Your hair was pointing up in all different directions and he could clearly see the pillow marks on your cheek. A shocked and confused expression painted your features as you realised who was standing in front of you but he just felt his heart swell before his face crumpled as he tried to hold the tears back.

‘Mase? Mase what’s wrong?’ You asked, reaching forward to touch him in some way but you second guessed yourself before you got there. Not knowing if he wanted you to touch him but he looked distraught so you pushed your thoughts to the side and pulled him into the doorway. ‘Mase, you’re soaked. Come inside, it’s okay’

‘I’m sorry’ he told you, his voice wobbling as you shut the door and the feeling of warmth engulfed him immediately. He felt self here.

This feels like home, he thought. The place was unchanged from when he was last here and he stood awkwardly in the hall as you shut the door before leading him into the living room just around the corner.

‘Sorry, you've caught me at a bit of a bad time’ you laughed as you tidied the blankets off of the sofa and reset the cushions so you both had a place to sit. Flustered that he’d turned up so randomly and in the back of your mind you wondered if it might have happened one day but you chalked it off as being a silly daydream in the end.

‘Danger nap?’ He asked and you felt your face flush at the way he’d caught on so quickly. ‘Don’t worry, I remember them well’

‘Well I’ve been having them a bit more frequently since I’ve got no one to tell me off anymore’ you joked but you saw his face drop ever so slightly. ‘Take a seat, you want a drink or anything?’

‘I’m fine, thanks’

‘You sure? I’ll get you a tea you look like you need warming up’ you told him softly before scurrying over to the kitchen and he felt his chest warm with how kind you were to him. Hearing the kettle flick down before you came back to close the curtains and then run over to the cupboard under the stairs. ‘Take your hoodie off Mase, you’ll catch a chill. I’ve got you a towel and I’ll turn the heating up’

‘Sorry, this is probably the last thing you needed tonight’ he sighed, grabbing the towel to run over his hair once he’d taken his hoodie off but the shoulders of his top were still wet and now he was sitting here waiting for you he felt silly.

‘No don’t worry about that, I know we haven’t spoken for a while but I always said I’m here if you need me’ you told him shyly. Sitting down next to him so you could place his tea on the table before sending him a reassuring smile

‘I know’ he huffed. ‘I just feel a bit dramatic now that’s all’ he told you, trying to laugh it off but you knew him and you knew something was on his mind.

‘What’s going on? Why are you here?’ You pushed gently, trying to get him to open up a little bit more and when his eyes fell to his lap you weren’t sure if he was about to tell you or not. Thankfully he did after a few moments but you weren’t prepared for the words that were about to tumble from his lips.

‘There’s um… well there’s been this big accident on the main road out of Manchester. It’s all over the news and I was stuck in traffic for like 45 minutes until I could get round it’ he told you but you were unsure as to why he was updating you on the traffic when you’d asked what he was so upset about.

‘Okay?’

‘The car that crashed… well I thought it was yours’ he told you, his voice wobbling at the end and you felt your heart shatter as you realised what was wrong now. ‘It’s the same colour and make and everything and I… well I was out of my mind worrying that… i don’t know that you were hurt or something-‘

‘Oh Mase’ you breathed, cutting him off as his voice got more and more emotional and all you wanted was to pull him into a hug but you weren’t sure if that was what he wanted. In the end you just reached for his hand and you were surprised at how tightly he gripped onto you.

‘Sorry I bet I sound insane’ he laughed, wiping his eyes with his free hand and you felt your heart break for him.

‘No no it’s okay’ you reassured him, placing your other around your already clasped ones. Hoping he’d keep on talking but you let him take his time as he was clearly overwhelmed and upset by everything that had happened tonight.

‘It was on the news and I saw it wasn’t your number plate so I thought you were fine but then i managed to talk myself out of thinking that and I tried to text you, but i didn’t hear anything back but I guess you were asleep’ he smiled, squeezing your hand gently and you smiled sadly back at him.

‘I never got a text from you, I don’t think I did anyway’ you told him. ‘I was only asleep for like ten minutes. I did see some texts but it was a number I didn’t recognise and I thought it was a scam thing so I didn’t bother looking properly cause the number wasn’t saved’

‘A scam?’

‘Yeah I keep getting those texts like Evri has your parcel but it’s damaged and the details are lost. Please send your address, bank details and blood type so we can attempt a redelivery’ you joked and you felt your tummy flip when he let out a little laugh.

‘No it’s my fault, my personal number got leaked a little while back and when I moved up here I thought it would be a good idea to get a new number. I texted most people but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me so I just kept your number in my contacts. I completely forgot you wouldn’t have it saved’

‘You know that makes a lot of sense actually’ you smiled, watching his eyebrows pinch together in confusion and you thought his expression was adorable. ‘I sort of texted you last week. You know, after your goal? I didn’t hear back from you’

‘Shit, I’m so sorry’ he sighed, his free hand dragging down his face and you could tell he was annoyed with himself as he rolled his eyes.

‘No it’s alright-‘

‘No cause you probably thought I was ignoring you and I wasn’t’ he told you, almost pleading with you to make you believe him but you already did and when you sent him a soft smile he let out a big sigh he’d been holding in. ‘Where’s your car? It's not parked out the front?’

‘Chrissy upstairs moved out and I was next on the list for a spot in the underground car park so I park it down there now’ you explained, releasing how shaken he must have been and still was to know you might have been hurt and when one of your hands let go to touch his shoulder, his eyes snapped up to yours. ‘Are you alright, mase?’

‘No’ he whispered quietly, his glossy eyes looking back down to his lap and as much as you wanted to push him you also didn’t want to scare him off so you sat waited for him to come clean and tell you what was going on in his head. ‘I know it’s stupid but like… I realised if I lost you then… well it felt like my world was ending in all honesty’ he confessed, laughing slightly but you could tell there was no humour in it l. ‘I know that’s dramatic but all I could think about was everything I’d never told you, all the things I’d never be able to say to you again, you know? Never be able to hold you or kiss you…’

‘Kiss me?’ You whispered. Unsure as to why he’d said that at the end as you’d been broken up for almost a year now but you couldn’t deny his confession made your heart jump. If truth be told it hurt more than you thought it would when he didn’t reply to you a week ago and seeing him so heartbroken on your doorsteps just now was a shock. But the words falling from his lips right now were even more of a shock.

‘Sorry’ he mumbled, his voice thick with tears as he shook his head but you didn’t want him to shut down on you now. You wanted him to keep talking, to see if he’d say the things you’d been waiting a year for him to admit so you carried on stroking his skin and letting him get himself together.

‘No no it’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it’ you laughed, looking up at him to thankfully looking back at you with a small smile on his face. ‘Now’s your chance Mase, what do you wanna tell me’ you whispered, wondering if he’d say anything at all but ever the unexpected he said the last thing you thought he would.

‘I love you’ he whispered instantly. The words sending a tingle down your spine and you almost lost your breath. ‘I’m still so fucking in love with you and the though of you not being around anymore hurt more than I could tell you. Not that I’ve tried, but I can’t love anyone else like I loved you. Like I still love you, y/n’

‘Mase-‘

‘I know it’s been a while and you won’t feel the same but-‘

‘Mase stop’ you whispered, your eyes stinging at the thought of what he might be doing but the sincerity in his eyes kept a spark of hope alive. ‘Are you sure? I think you’re in shock a bit, you may want this now but what about in a month's time? Or two? I can’t go through feeling like that again’

‘I’m sure, i promise’ he nodded, dropping his eyes to his lap before taking a deep breath and you knew he had more to say. ‘I know we said if we were both single in five years we’d come back to each other but that’s too far away for me and I don’t wanna give anyone else the opportunity to have you. People like us, we’re meant to meet in a few years time when we both know who we are and what we want for ourselves but I don’t wanna do that. I want us to work through it all and grow together, you know?’

‘Mase-’

‘I pushed you away when I should have held onto you tighter. I think about you… all the fucking time and I can’t be without you’ he sniffled. ‘I know it’s incredibly selfish of me but I don’t want you to be just a chapter in my life when you’re the whole damn book baby’

You couldn’t help but laugh at his last line, your chuckles seeming to break the tension a little bit as he smiled at you and you could feel your heart in your throat at all the sweet words he’d spilled to you tonight.

‘Sorry I know it’s a lot but I just needed you to know’

‘Well thank you, and you know I care about you so much Mase-‘

‘Oh’ he sighed, trying to remove his hand from yours as you hadn’t told you him loved him back and he felt a bit embarrassed but that wasn’t your intention.

‘No Mase, wait I just… look it’s a lot to think about’ you laughed, squeezing his hand tighter so he couldn’t move away. ‘Just give me some time to take it in, yeah?’

‘Sorry’

‘No please don’t be sorry’ you told him before a quietness settled over you for a moment. Not really sure what you were wanting to say and knowing Mason had said enough for a lifetime tonight so you went back to what you thought you did best. Looking after him. ‘Listen, have you eaten? I’ve got a pasta bake to put in the oven and you know I always cook for about five people’

‘I haven’t eaten’ he laughed ‘Too busy worrying that you'd been flattened’ he joked, rolling his eyes and you couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh at his attempt at humour.

‘Well let me make us something to eat, And we can hang out a bit and catch up, yeah?’ You asked hopefully and thankfully he nodded in agreement.

So you made the pair of you some dinner before getting settled on the sofa. Keeping the tv volume on minimum so you could talk and it was like having the Mason you fell for back with you. But your heart broke even further when he explained to you how hard the last year had been for him, from being sold to the constant injuries and feeling pretty lonely up here some nights when it was just him and his family and friends had to go home.

Soon enough your plates had been discarded to the coffee table as it was your turn to open up. Not that you had as much to say but he was interested all the same in hearing about your life and getting up to date with all the people you used to talk about together. Updating him on your job and all the changes that had been made before he commented on how even with all the changes your flat was still the same and it made him feel happy.

‘Hey Mase?’ You asked quietly when you saw him try to suppress a yawn and you knew he’d realised you’d seen when the bridge of his nose turned red like you used to love.

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you wanna stay here tonight?’ You asked, his eyebrows shooting up in shock as he clearly hadn’t expected you to ask anything like that but now you had him back here you didn’t want to let him go.

‘W-what?’ He mumbled, scratching the back of his head like he did whenever he got nervous but you send him a reassuring smile in hopes that would help.

‘I mean you don’t have to, but it’s late now and I won’t be having you walking home or paying for an Uber. Unless you want me to drive you home-‘

‘No you can’t drive me, I don’t want you driving back on your own’ he argued back but you were both smiling so you let out a little laugh before being a bit firmer with him.

‘So you’ll stay then? And I’ll drop you home on my way to work?’

‘I think that could work’ he nodded but you knew he was shy about it even though he had no need to be.

‘Okay perfect’

‘Do you still keep that blanket in the cupboard?’ He asked and you felt a wave of disappointment flood you.

‘Oh I um…’ you trailed off, realising he’d got the wrong end of the stick and you knew you needed to set him straight no matter how awkward it might get.

‘What’s up?’

‘Well I thought you might want to sleep in my bed? You know like… with me?’ You explained, his face a mask of shock as the words left your lips but you knew you needed to put the idea out there.

‘Oh’

‘Sorry I’m being silly’

‘No I want to, I just didn’t wanna push it you know? I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted’

‘I do’ you smiled. Holding your hand out for him to take and you felt your heart give a squeeze and he gently took it in his. ‘And I think it might be what you need’

‘I think so too,’ he laughed. A shy look on his face as you walked him through and into your bedroom and once you were inside you sent him a reassuring smile. ‘Get in, I’m just gonna use the bathroom and I’ll be with you’

You left him to sort himself out, quickly applying your skincare and trying to keep calm before returning to your room. Seeing Mason was already in bed and that he was still in his T-shirt but he’d stripped down to his boxers on the bottom half and you caught a cheeky flash of his thighs as you lifted the covers up.

You knew what you wanted, and what he probably wanted too so when you got yourself under the covers you turned away from him as you shuffled up close. Your back against his chest before taking his arm so you could wrap it around your body and you could tell from how stiff he was that he wasn’t expecting it but it only took a second for him to settle down and nuzzle into your neck.

‘I don’t think I need to wait until the morning’ you suddenly heard him whisper after a few moments and you felt your heart begin to pound. ‘I never ended things with you because I didn’t like you or I didn’t see us going anywhere. It was more that I didn't like myself. You’ve been the right person for me this whole time and I knew it long before we were friends, like it had always been my plan to make you mine and then when I finally got you I let you go’

‘Well you know what they say, Mase’ you whispered, holding him to you tighter and you felt him lightly kiss your shoulder. ‘If you love something you should set it free. And if it’s yours it’ll come back’

‘Will you come back to me then?’ He asked, his voice sounding more vulnerable than he intended it to. ‘Cause I’ll always come back to you’

‘I think we can work something out’ you whispered and you felt him stiffen before moving back so he could roll you over to face him. His eyes wide and glossy as he looked at you and you could tell you’d taken him by surprise.

‘Really? You’d wanna try again?’ He asked. Lip wobbling and it all became too much for him so you reached out to stroke his cheek and catch a few of the stray tears.

‘It just wasn’t our time back then, Mase. I get that now and yeah it sucked but if it’s really what you want then it’s what I’ve wanted since things ended’ you told him softly. Kissing the end of his nose as he shut his eyes softly. ‘I’ve been yours from the second you looked at me’

‘I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want this, or if you were seeing someone else’

‘Well lucky for you, you don’t have to worry about any of that’ you told him and you didn’t miss the look of relief on his face. ‘Things will be easier now we're closer okay? We can see each other more and all the things that drove us apart won’t be a problem’

‘You really think it’ll be that simple?’ He whispered, the hope in his eyes made you want to reassure him even further.

‘I think so, yeah. You said earlier you still loved me right?’

‘I did’ he laughed, not meeting your eyes as he blushed and you thought he was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen.

‘I still love you too’ you whispered, so quietly you thought he might now have heard you but from his reaction you knew he did. Letting out a shuddery breath before he hid his face. Giving you room to kiss all over his cheek until he had the courage to look at you again. ‘Shall we go to sleep?’ You offered, noticing how exhausted he was after a long evening and once he’d nodded you turned back onto your side and let him hold you close. Smiling at the way he was kissing your shoulder softly and nuzzled into your neck.

‘Hey Mase? Can I ask you something before we go to sleep?’

‘Anything’ he whispered, and the sound of his voice made your heart jump. Knowing he really would answer absolutely answer anything you asked him and this was something that had been plaguing your mind for a year.

‘That day I left to come home and you texted me the whole way, what did the message say that you deleted?’

You felt him let out a small chuckle, squeezing you a little before huffing and you knew it was something he probably never wanted to admit. You didn’t want to push him if that was the case but after a moment you felt his lips on your shoulder again as he began to speak.

‘It said, I think I’ve made a mistake. Can you come back and we’ll talk’ he told you quietly and you felt your heart pound at his confession. ‘I gave it ten minutes and said to myself if you hadn’t replied in that time then it wasn’t meant to be’

‘Mase’ you whispered, your eyes full of tears as a wave of regret from not checking your phone washed over you but he was quick to reassure you everything was fine.

‘It's okay, I’m glad you missed it’ he laughed. ‘It would have only made things worse probably. I needed that time to go through whatever was going on and realise how much I actually need you. Cause I really do’

‘I’m here’ you mumbled, turning you head to look at him and his whole face lit up as he looked down at you.

‘So am I. And I’m never going anywhere again okay?’

‘Me too’ you told him firmly before he finally lent down and placed the softest kiss to your lips. A feeling you’d waited almost a year for and when he pulled back to look at you, you almost felt disappointed but you could tell he was greedy for seconds. Diving right back in but with a bit more force this time and you let him do as he wished thankful the universe had brought him back to you.

273 notes · View notes

astrologylunadream · 2 days

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Do They Have Romantic Feelings for You? 🫧🌸💋 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream!💕 Here is a lovely reading on the person on your mind and if they have romantic feelings towards you!🥰 hope you find your message🎀 It's been a while since I've posted a reading! I've been taking care of my personal life, and working on readings as I can. Thank you all for your patience and love~💗

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~💌🫧

Pile 1🩷

Pile 2🍒

Pile 3🌸

Pile 4🍓

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕

Pile 1🩷

Sign energy: Flame, Love at first sight, Late, First love, Teeth, 9th house, Earth, Sun, 12th house, Aquarius,💬🦀🤙💡

🫧Your person's energy: Okay so first this person could be in a no contact situation for some of you, no surprise this is someone that most of you have romantic feelings towards!🥰💗 They are very bright and it's like they can light up the entire world around them. Can we talk about this person's smile?🤭 It's just so attractive and beautiful. Twin flame/soulmate energy up in here!!!❤️‍🔥 There is a lot of curiousity about your person, you are fascinated in them and this could be because they are different than you in some way.👀 Your person could be from a different background/culture or have some unique strange quality that makes them stand out to you✨️ This is already so cute omg pile 1 you're so curious about this person~ So there is Sagittarius, Leo, Pisces and Aquarius energy for your person. Earth energy oh also there is some Cancer symbolism with the crab emoji so that may resonate for some of you.😘 For some of my pile 1's they could be born in a late phase of their sun sign, so like instead of being a leo in july they could be a late leo in august kind of thing so just apply that to their sun sign!☀️ Yeah so for A LOT of my pile 1's this is a twin flame or soulmate connection, it feels so fated omg😩🩷 This could be your first love for some of you, or a love at first sight kind of happened with this person. I just feel there is a lot of love for your person, it's really sweet you guys💗 Now some of your person's traits, they have special qualities about them. They're intelligent and have great ideas💭 They are also creative and communicate in a strange yet captivating way. It may be hard to understand them sometimes. Specific message for some in this pile you may have met them online, studying abroad or during travel and fell so hard😂😭 This person is so unique to you aha you see them as something special⭐️

💗Do they have romantic feelings for you: Roots, Winter, Chiron, Build, Head, Fire, Aries, 11th house, Leo, Neptune,🖤🤞🚷😮‍💨 Wow okay there is a surprisingly intense energy I'm getting. This is more of a deep physical attraction they have for you, also a lot of erotic desire. You could be in this persons mind, I mean deep in it😳 I feel like they may have a damaged ego or some sort of self doubt about their feelings for you guys, maybe they want to make wrong assumptions about you in their head for whatever reason? At the bottom of this is a lot of heavy passion for you, but I think they're trying to convince themselves otherwise.😕 Yeah they might be trying to turn themselves against you in their mind, or not letting themselves desire you because it brings out a more dark aggressive side to them.💢❤️‍🔥 Yeah you definitely set them on fire, their mind gets heated with you😭 I'm surprised by the physical tension on this one, I feel like your person is having a huge inner conflict about you. They may want you gone only because they can't handle themselves fantasizing about taking you over every night😭🔞 I won't go into detail but this person is fighting their demons about you LOL pile 1 your person is hooked🪝 Winter may be a significant time for their feelings. Yeah I think this person is loosing it about you, but they're just like telling themselves not to give in to their intense passion you bring out of them.🤯❤️‍🔥 Like they know you unleash a monster out of them and they're just like "god no please no" lol I'm hearing The Office.😂 They are unconsciously fantastizing a lot, some hot scenarios with you. They wanna believe you're bad for them, because you have such a magnetic pull on them my pile 1's!🤭 You are stuck in this person's mind, they're burning with passion yet trying to deny it. They get so fired up about you that it burns them out easily. They may feel you drain their energy, because you're so captivating to them. But they are like a moth to your flame I'm hearing🔥 Dangerous attraction vibes~✨️ Pile 1 you are deeply desired they can't even fight themselves!!😍

💌Messages from your person: This is consuming, Nothing is stopping you, I see us together, Don't tell me, You've been busy, You're the one that I want, Tell me, You're my addiction (Yess so much intense attraction for my pile 1's😭❤️‍🔥) Extra cards: Achievement, Together, Seen, Want, Art, 8th house, Gemini, Leo, Aries, Uranus (They want you, they want you guys to be seen together and not hide your connection you are like a work of art to them😭 hot energy)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the pink heart emoji~🩷 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Pile 2🍒

Sign energy: Past life, Nice, Question, Unhealthy, Anonymous, Libra, Eros, Aquarius, Juno, North node,🩱🐦‍🔥😁🕵️‍♀️

🫧Your person's energy: Wow okay so this is someone physically appealing to you guys, some of you find them really hot I'm getting😂 This person has a nice figure, there is a feminine touch to their appearance especially something about their lower body. They have a nice smile, actually it's really hot😳❤️‍🔥 Signs coming through are Libra and Aquarius so mostly air energy, I am getting a venus vibe from your person also venus-uranus aspects are possible.🩷 Oh okay so some of you may be viewing this person's social media often, many of my pile 2's are spending way too much time on the internet📱💔 Please take breaks from too much time online my lovely pile 2's you will feel much better I promise!✨️ Some of you could be frequenting your person's profile or photos online to an extent that may not be healthy, this could be you or them take what resonates. This may be someone you're interacting with inderectly or behind a screen, it's also possible that you aren't revealing your idenity to this person.👤🔍 Now that could be the other way around for some of you in this pile, they could be the one stalking you from online or looking at your photos it may even be both if that resonates!🫢 This person speaks very well and charms others easily with their uniqueness. They make you very curious and you want to know more about them, some of you may view this person as marriage material💍💕 You may want to commit to them in the future, oh and it is very likely that this is someone you knew from a past life! Your person is intelligent and charming, and that alone ignites sudden passion from within you🔥❤️‍🔥 It may feel like the tempature rises when you see them.🌡 Like all they would have to do is sit still and look pretty and just that makes you want to grab them and kiss them!!!😩💋 They can really turn you on tbh😳 And you wonder if they feel that way about you! Their figure is really special and attractive to you 🍑😉😉😉 They probably dress really well, they're so appealing and attractive!💗

💗Do they have romantic feelings: Eternity, Uniqueness, Guardian, Song, High, Uranus, 4th house, Chiron, North node, Taurus,💣🎤⚓️🕹 So they see you as someone special!🥰 This is really looking like yes honestly, I mean you are just so unique and unlike any other to this person.😩💖 You make them feel safe and healed, they feel a very comforting type of love from my pile 2's. They may love to listen to songs you like or share similar interests in music!🎶 There may be a song that will feel special to only you two in the future, could be a song that plays at your wedding😂🙈💓 Whatever the case there will be a song that is special to you and them, maybe they will listen to your favorite song and it will become their favorite.🥺 Aw another thing, your voice is really attractive to them. You are like a guardian to your person, they feel safe and protected by you. You are like the anchor that keeps your person from drifting far into the ocean, I also think they love your playful side🩷 I'm hearing "You're the bomb!" Lol maybe they find you very entertaining and fun.🥰 There is a lot of venus energy in this reading so there is many romantic feelings from your person. You feel like home to them, and it would be hard for this person to ever let you go.😭💔 You give them comfort and a sense of belonging, they see you as a knight in shining armor (regardless of gender) and feel saved by you. It's really sweet you guys this person has such pure love for you. They feel like you guys have a future together, and by future they mean possibly eternity.💗🥺 Haha they really care about you a lot and are so fascinated by you. Just know this person thinks you are so special and unique!⭐️ You are such an individual to your person, they admire the way you stand out and love this about you😭 I'm hearing "let you steer the boat" maybe they feel safe and would entrust you to take control of any situation involving you both. I'm also hearing "high hopes" so they feel very hopeful and confident in your abilities that is so sweet omg they think highly of you😢💕

💌Messages from your person: I have dark thoughts about you, What is love? Forget it, You're my angel, I would reject anyone for you, Is it too late now? Only god knows, I would write you a love song. (So cute🥰 Pile 2 you are their angel!) Extra cards: Conflict, Spring, Cafe, Myth, Words, Fire, Aquarius, Moon, 6th house, 3rd house (There may be a blockage in communication or being able to contact this person for some of you, or it was a hurtful conversation between you for some of my pile 2's but whatever the case your person wishes to communicate with you and be able to understand and connect with you better💗🫂)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the cherry emoji~🍒 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Pile 3🌸

Sign energy: Flower, Do or die, More, Note, Mine, Juno, Earth, Leo, South node, 5th house,🕳🙅‍♂️🤙🦀

🫧Your person's energy: Haha so the first thing I noticed is that Flower came out and this pile has flowers on it's imagery I think that's very interesting.☺️ There is Leo energy as well as earth energy for this pile's person! Picking up on 5th house placements from your person, also there is cancer symbolism aswell. Another thing is they could have earth over their 6th house for some of my pile 3's. they have a glowing presence about them🌟🤭 Their gaze just came to mind, maybe their eyes draw you in like a black hole lol🕳🖤 They are very attractive and noticable, people from their past keep coming back for more I'm hearing. To you guys, I'm getting you think of them as YOUR person like only yours.😳 Like they belong to you, because you wanna claim this person.💍😱 I am getting a vibe this is a look don't touch kind of person, like they know people staring at them and they're just like no touching.😎🖐🚫 They don't like people to get too close to them for some of you, but this is because they are actually very delicate🥺💞 That could be from something they've been through or going through. This could be someone you lost contact with for some of you and the connection may have ended but you persist!✊️ Your person is specifically very talented in their hobbies, and are usually open to the type of feedback that helps them grow😇 Okay for a few of you this person doesn't wanna talk to you take whatever resonates for my pile 3's! You may have tried to call them or contact them in some way, you could be someone from their past aswell. This person is very caring and protective over the people they love, also they're very cool😉✨️ Lol they have a nice vibe. This could be someone you had crush on for a while but you thought you were over it or things just blossomed very quickly between you two. Your person is creative and really good at whatever they do😂💗 They take care of their appearance, oh you know what I just realized the liking system on tumblr is notes so you could be noting certain posts revolving this person a lot whether it be actual posts of them or just many readings about them omg pile 3 that's so cute🥰!!!

💗Do they have romantic feelings: Dragon, Butterfly, June, My everything, Despair, Saturn, Fire, Libra, Virgo, Vertex,🍀🛗😌👊 Wow interesting so there is or was a big change in this persons feelings, like a transformation.🤯 June came out and the time I'm doing this reading it's going to be june soon so that is a significant sign of their feelings in the month of june!!!🙊💞 Maybe this person's feelings have changed or developed in some way that they're trying to resist or repress. They could be making a decision about you in june or the next month. Wow okay this is a huge message but A FEW of my pile 3's may end up in a relationship with this person in june, if not then romance will be in the air for the two of you!😩🙏 Your person thinks of you a lot and you are the world to them.🌏💗😭 Wait wait it's the year the dragon which is a sign of this year, guys something is going to happen this june for this person. They could be going through a change or transformation in their inner feelings and thinking🤯 This is a very lucky year and the energy proves it.🤭💞 Your person could be restricting their feelings towards you in some way, perhaps they're an overthinker when it comes to you💬🫣 They could have a lot of ups and downs about you, sometimes they feel hopeful and fateful and other times they feel hopeless and unmotivated.😞💔 But seriously guys, destiny is written all over this persons feelings for you!! Soon could be a time they rise up past their own doubts and insecurities about you, and there is definitely a sense of interest towards you.🩷 They need to fight their worries with confidence! This person can find you very cute, and you sit in the back of their mind a lot☺️🧠 If this person didn't feel anything towards you in the past it's becoming a shift in feelings for them. They could be making a descision about you, that could be opening up to you or accepting new feelings for you. Some of you this person may confess, or reveal their feelings and intentions.💭💕 Pile 3 this is so amazing there is so much hope from this person soon, I feel they will finally be able to rest their mind about you eventually and face whatever is effecting their connection with you.😇 They find you sweet and beautiful, also you could give them butterflies🤭💖

💌Messages from your person: For now, I wish I could stop thinking of you, I'm still the same person you loved, You don't need to take care of me, I think you're a great person, I would kill for you, You're so funny, Don't be sad (AH omg and them overthinking about you is right😫💓) Extra cards: Dominant, Surprise, Kabedon, Grey, Neptune, Scorpio, Uranus, Leo, Pisces, Virgo (Yeah they wanna take over your dreams and you're all up in their fantasies, especially dark ones😭😈)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the pink blossom emoji~🌸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Pile 4🍓

Sign energy: Play, Lavender, Conflict, Liar, Found, Mars, 7th house, Earth, 11th house, 8th house,🚨🐙🚺🍄

🫧Your person's energy: Ohh okay this is someone that feels like you have a romantic drama with, I mean like you don't know if you should stay or go.👀🙊 Some of you are in contact with this person, others maybe not. Possible signs are Aries, Scorpio, Libra, and Aquarius, there is a masculine energy here. Your person is very captivating and attractive, but they have a darker side you may not have been aware of at first.👿😳 For a select few of my pile 4's I'm seeing this is someone who played you, or sabotaged your relationship somehow.💔 You might think they're a liar or they lied to you, maybe they got exposed for something too. Your person is intense and romantic but they may be in a bit of a red flag energy for some (be careful😬) Lavender may be significant, whether it's the color or scent. This person is slightly mischievous and may be susceptible to getting in trouble. You could be obsessed or in love with this person ever since you saw them, but there is a lot of tension around this person.😟🔥 I was picking up on a very masculine energy but your person has a feminine side also, which is a more grounded and attentive side of them. They can surprisingly be very detail-oriented and sweet when they aren't in a harsher energy.🥺💞 Some of my pile 4's had or having conflict with this person, could be through online or fights around friends. This person could have caused you to turn to escapism which could be spiritual practices that you escape through too like this reading.🕯 I think your person is all over the place a little, to be honest with the octopus emoji and female sign I'm going to say ONLY for some in this pile this person may be involved with multiple feminines at the same time and it's catching up with them.✋️⚠️ It is possible that certain people are just obsessed with your person and want to throw themselves onto them, but with Liar, Play, Found, Conflict, Mars, 7th house AND 8th house... I'm sorry it just sounds like a huge message😭 I JUST REALIZED the mushroom can symbolize illusions or deception😳 I'm sorry but some of my lovely pile 4's might be the ones deceived or disillusioned about this person. It feels like a really bad boy/girl energy, magnetic but very dangerous. But they're hot as hell🥵

💗Do they have romantic feelings: Rebellion, Broken, Role, Lose, My love, 11th house, Moon, Lilith, 9th house, Eros,🪤💣🖤😚 WTF😫 They feel guilty for something OML. So this person has a lot of intense emotions about you, their heart is broken or they feel like they broke yours.💔 They feel like they played the bad guy, the villain, and they lost you or are losing you because of this. They are in a really dark place about you, they feel exposed for their true nature.🔦 Like you're seeing a bad side of them. I can't believe Lose and My Love came out right next to eachother wtf... It feels like they might lose the love of their life, which is pile 4. This is so crazy. They feel trapped, perhaps behind a screen or they can't reach you.📵 If this is an ex, this person wants you back BAD. They feel like they messed up their image and destroyed the one thing they were supposed to love and care for. What is this😥😭😖 Maybe they feel like they have no part in your life or they played a bad part in it, and that really hurts them deeply. They may be running away from contact with you, or ghosted you on social media. They might not be talking to their friends either because of their feelings. This person is in love with you but they feel terrible, like everything is ruined.🌪🔥 They also feel like they lost their freedom? This person is a hell of emotions over you, I'm hearing "lost all hope". They feel desperate, they almost wish they could trap you and keep you because they're afraid you're going to wanna get away from them. They wish they could make you theirs, I'm not going to go into detail about it but they're freaking out because they're madly attracted to you on an intimate level and they wish they could tie you up and dominate you, keeping you theirs.😰🔞 They might fantasize about doing those things because they feel like they can't have you. Part of them doesn't want to look bad to you, but at the same time they feel like there's no going back and you've already discovered the worst parts of them.👿 You do turn this person on, and they want to kiss you and make everything right.☹️💋🖤 Whatever it was that put a wedge between you two, they want to heal your emotional wounds and play the saint rather than sinner. I'm hearing some of you may have dropped them or are going to, and they have intense romantic feelings towards you and want to keep holding on to you because they're so scared of losing you.😳🤝

💌Messages from your person: Look at me, I wish we could have met, I can't comprehend, You can't comprehend, You always look so sad, Don't let them bring you down, What do you think of me? Why would you want me? (Pile 4 they don't feel like you want them at all😫 They still care about you a lot.🫂 Your person is very confused about the connection right now, but they just hope you're alright🖤) Extra cards: Devotion, Inactivity, Boy, Self-sabotage, Family, Lilith, Jupiter, Eros, Aquarius, 12th house, (They feel like they weren't or aren't being devoted to you enough and it's destroying them😭 There is a lot of passion and intense emotions from them about my pile 4's)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

319 notes · View notes

thenerdywriter · 3 days

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the kiss (aka that one scene) and subsequently—

*spoilers for bridgerton s3*

ahem...this might be a bit indelicate? Let us think about who Colin is, at his core. he is a dreamer. he's sweet, he's kind to a fault, and he's also the Bridgerton brother most likely to have ao3 in the 21st century.

Penelope asks for a kiss, and Colin cannot deny her that. so much of their relationship is evinced by the fact that they cannot deny each other anything, even if it is at the expense of their own well-being. Penelope has never once voiced her feelings for Colin because she is aware that he would never see her in such a light, and mostly because, she does not think that her feelings are his business. In the books and in the show, Penelope has never voiced her crush.

So, when she's facing the very real prospects of remaining a spinster and firmly under the influence of her mother and sister (Prudence, especially, I don't really think Phillipa would be that bad) she makes a choice to ask the love of her life, mind you, the one man she had always felt safe with, to kiss her. She is waving goodbye to the dreams of being married, finding a place of her own in a world where a woman had no value if they were not attached in matrimony to a man. Yes, it seems pathetic, yes, it seems desperate. It is. It is desperate. Penelope is desperate at this moment, and she is reckless, but she is not pathetic. She wants to be kissed, and she asks for it, it is a moment where we see a woman exercise agency for the first time in her life. Feelings are so very rarely black or white, and so is this scene; on one hand, you feel wronged and angry at the fact that Penelope is pleading for a kiss, on the other, you empathize with her situation and where she is coming from. She wants this moment, and who better to ask from, than her best friend? Colin has always, always been there for her, and she has been there for him. They know each other the best, she has had the privilege of being able to love him. She wants love, and she has it in her hands at this moment, a fleeting, transient glimpse into what her life could be if she were someone else. This is the moment when Penelope Featherington's dreams are well and truly shattered.

And that same kiss turns Colin's world on its axis. It is so wonderful to see on screen how the same action can have two entirely opposite, but just as important effects on people. Colin has always loved Penelope. This is not even a discussion. He took action on behalf of her family (on behalf of her, really) when he found out about her cousin's schemes. He gives Cressida the cut direct when she humiliates Penelope in front of him. He seeks her out at every social assembly. He has always looked out for her and has always loved her. But all this is platonic. He has never felt a physical connection with her, because neither of them has had the chance to explore that avenue. Neither Colin nor Penelope are aware of their latent attraction to each other. For Penelope, it is because she has never been allowed to feel a physical connection with anyone, and Colin because he has never thought of pursuing a physical connection with Penelope. It is their kiss that ultimately awakens that connection in Colin, and by connection, Penelope asking Colin for a kiss is what puts the wheels in motion.

Which brings me to the first paragraph. Colin is the sweetest boy in the Bridgerton family (Gregory I love you, but nine children? Get off that woman, immediately). When he realizes that he likes Penelope, and loves her romantically, what does he do? He internalizes it like he does everything else. So much of Colin's character arc, both in the book and in the show is about him internalizing everything. He refuses to voice his own feelings if they make other people uncomfortable, much to the detriment of his own mental health. After being deceived in the first season, he removes himself from London because he cannot bear to stay in the city anymore, not when he is reminded of how naive and stupid he was, every moment. It is also important to realize that Colin has been viewed as the naive, soft-hearted brother, by everyone else. When he gets engaged in season 1, Anthony, his big brother, the example he is supposed to follow, tells him that he should have taken Colin to brothels and accuses him of getting married to have sex. In season two, Penelope, an outsider, is the only person who gives a damn about his thoughts. His own family refuses to listen to him, and what does he do when he returns a second time? He tells them, "I shall not bore you with the details". He knows, no one essentially gives a shit. This is why, when he comes to the knowledge of the full breadth of his feelings for Penelope, he internalizes so hard he dreams of her. And this is not an indelicate dream. He does not dream of taking her in the back of a carriage or on his yellow sheets, he dreams of her returning his feelings. He is yet unaware of the extent of Penelope's feelings toward him, but he knows he should not force his feelings onto her, and that is why he dreams of her.

I could go on and on about why Colin is the best Bridgerton brother (Gregory, nine children) but it will take up a lot of space, so I shall keep it brief: (in the show) Anthony almost marries Edwina, a girl who is what, thirteen(?) twelve (?) years younger than him, a girl who has no safety net outside of her sister and her mother, her sister whom Anthony was in love with, and refused to confront his feelings for. Literally, no one forced Anthony to propose to Edwina, he went down on one knee while being aware of his feelings for her older sister. Kate would have been content with relinquishing her younger sister to a marriage where she loved someone who would forever love another. Imagine if Anthony had married Edwina as he intended. Do you think, for even a second, that he would look at her face and not be reminded of Kate? Not to mention neither of them took action till the very last second, and Edwina, a bystander, was forced to ruin herself. Half the reason why she married abroad is the fact that not a single person in London would have married her (headcanon: she marries the Prince, fuck you, Anthony) when she was very publicly denigrated as the Viscount Bridgerton's cast-off. Yes, the Queen's favor saves Anthony and Kate's marriage from scandal, but it also saves Edwina, it saves her from further public embarrassment and scrutiny by a ton that not only views her as an outsider but also envies her for securing the title of the Season's Diamond. (Book)Benedict forces a woman from a servant class to be his mistress while he searches for the girl he fancied to be the love of his life. I'm sorry, there's no coming back from that. Colin gets angry when he is aware of who Lady Whistledown is, but his anger is not directed at Penelope herself. It is directed at her lack of thought for her own safety. Colin puts Penelope's safety and reputation over everything. In the carriage scene, he steps back as soon as he hears the words "but we are friends" from her mouth; he takes it as a sign, that this is Penelope telling him I don't have feelings for you, and he is happy to respect her wishes. Colin would have never voiced his feelings a second time if she had rebuffed him then, he would have been happy to remove himself from Society and spend his days on the Continent, writing in his journals. So much of both Penelope and Colin is them learning to voice their wants and desires and fuck, it's the most beautiful thing to watch as it comes to life on my screen.

#bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton season 3 #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #nurse get her she's writing meta again #ro? writing meta #likely thing for her to do #bridgerton meta #character analysis #luke and nicola i love you please act in 13498543698685 more projects together

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jordyn14 · 2 days

Note

can you write something about joe giving y/n a promise ring please?! I love you’re writing!!!!!

Pairing: joe burrow x first person fem

Words: 2953

Notes: I mixed this with a request for a red headed reader!! This is small and kind of boring, but I still hope you enjoy!! <3

Taglist: @wickedfun9

I reached into my pocket and grabbed my dorm room key as I got closer to my room which I shared with my best friend. Ever since we were kids, we knew we wanted to be roommates since we were inseparable since we first met each other. As a kid, my parents always wanted me to follow my heart and do what I loved and would be happy doing for the rest of my life, and when I told them that I wanted to go to Ohio State for Civil engineering…well, let’s just say they were a little worried.

Don’t get me wrong, I am smart. I was valedictorian at my high school and always worked my ass off for everything, but my dad was an engineer so he knew how hard schooling was. Still, no matter how hard it was, I never gave up, but that seemed like the better option as I opened up the door to my dorm room, physically and mentally exhausted after my first day back from winter break. At least I only had one semester left of this before I could graduate and find my dream job.

Once I walked in and shut the door, I let out a loud groan as I dropped my book bag next to my bed and then practically collapsed onto my bed. “Fuck this.” I said to myself while laughing at how tired I was. For the past few weeks, all I could do was remind myself that it was almost over. All of the hours I spent studying every single day and all of the tears were about to pay off.

In just a few short months, I would get to graduate and move in with my boyfriend who has been by my side through everything. Who is my boyfriend, you may ask? Only the quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals. When we met my freshman year and his sophomore year of college, it was anything but love at first sight. To say we disliked each other was an understatement. I had just gotten my heart broken by what I thought was the love of my life and the person I was supposed to marry, and I was not looking to make any male friends at all for at least a year or two.

When Joe first saw me, he hated me. Unbeknownst to me at the time, he thought I was some stuck up girl who thought she was better than everyone else. Unbeknownst to him at the time was that I didn’t want anything to do with him because I just got my heart broken. We went that whole first semester as ‘enemy’s,’ but we always saw each other since my best friend was dating his best friend at the time, which meant every time there was a party or a study group for a class we all had together, Joe was right there along with them.

We fought most of the time we were together, which really was just us bickering back and forth and making fun of each other for stupid things. Of course his go to was calling me freckles or carrot top because of my red hair and freckles which get crazy in the summer, so my go to for him was bench warmer since he was always riding the bench at Ohio state, which he absolutely hated with a passion. That second semester, though, something changed. My best friend told Joe that I had gone through a rough breakup with a guy I thought I would settle down with-of course I thought that, I was young-and from then on, it was like joe saw me differently. So, those little fights turned into flirty fights and freckles and bench warmer became our little fun nicknames for each other. Then those flirty fights and fun nicknames became Joe asking me on a date. Then those dates turned into Joe finally asking me to be his girlfriend.

What I didn’t think was on the agenda was Joe moving all the way to Louisiana for football. It was hard, but we made it work. It was especially hard since I was always swamped with school work and studying and he was swamped with practices and games, which meant we barely got to see each other. Another hard thing about him not being in the same college as me meant he wasn’t in the study groups I was in, meaning that he couldn’t help me when I struggled with a concept or a new subject since his intelligent ass knew everything.

We made it through long distance and spent about a few weeks together before the draft came around and he found out he was going to the Cincinnati Bengals. It was better than him having to move another state, but it was still kind of long distance since it was hard to spend time together with football and you guessed it, more studying. It felt like when I had some time off from studying, Joe had practice or games, and when Joe had some time off from practice or games, I had to study for a big exam or final that was coming up.

Luckily that will all be over shortly since in a few months I could move into his starter home that he bought in Cincinnati when he got drafted, and I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait until I could graduate and get my dream job, which I knew would be stressful, but at least I could be stressed with Joe again and not have to worry about always FaceTiming each other whenever we wanted to see each other’s faces. I could just walk into another room or visit him at practice if I wanted to see him.

After I laid on my comfy bed for a few minutes, contemplating whether I should take a nap or go to the local coffee shop that has the best wifi and call Joe after their last game of the season, I finally decided on going to the coffee shop. At least there I could wake myself up a little bit and get a little pre dinner snack. Once I sat up in bed, I ran my fingers through my ginger hair which was a lot duller than it is in the summer and then swung my legs over the side of the bed and let them dangle there for a second.

As soon as I faced my little nightstand next to my bed, I saw a my favorite picture of Joe and I that I had framed a little bit ago. It was us after the heisman trophy ceremony when Joe gave his amazing speech that touched so many people. Guaranteed, there were no dry eyes in that entire place during his speech. After the ceremony and after all of the pictures and handshakes with more people than I could count, Joe and I decided to get away from everyone, including his parents. We decided to go up to the tallest building we could find and onto the roof and spend a few hours up there, just the two of us.

While I looked at the picture and started to miss being in Joe’s arms, I looked down to see a black box sitting beside it. My first thought was that maybe my best friend left it on here on accident, but then I noticed that there was a note on the ground that must’ve fallen when I fell onto the bed. Reaching down, I picked up the note and saw that it had my name on it. My heart skipped a beat in my chest at the realization that it was Joe’s handwriting. I quickly set it down on the nightstand next to the box and looked around the room, wondering if Joe was hiding.

After waiting for Joe to magically pop out from under the bed or from the bathroom or closet, I reached over and grabbed the note again. My heart sped up in my chest as I flipped open the card, but I soon laughed at Joe’s failed attempt to draw SpongeBob with a little ring next to it. As soon as I saw that there was a ring in the drawing, I got nervous, thinking that maybe Joe was proposing, but then I read what Joe wrote: ‘a promise ring until you’re ready for a forever ring.’ I stuck out my bottom lip a little as I felt tears prick my eyes and then slowly reached over and grabbed the small black box.

Once I got it in my hands, I carefully opened it up and saw a Cartier ring inside of it. A wave of relief washed over me at the realization that this was in fact not a proposal. Although I love Joe with all my heart and I know he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’m not ready to be engaged, and definitely not married. For one, I’m still in college and cry every time I have an exam. Two, when I do graduate, I still have to go through the process of finding a job here in Cincinnati. Three, even if we are engaged, we will still have to do long distance, meaning I wouldn’t see my fiancé as much as I wanted. And Lastly, in my eyes, I’m too young. From a young age I made a list of the things I wanted to do and accomplish in life, and getting married isn’t for a few years. I want to know that if something does go wrong with our relationship or if the NFL doesn’t pan out like Joe thought it would, I still have a job and can not only provide for myself, but for the both of us.

A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek as I read the inside of the ring which said, ‘I love you, freckles.’ I slipped on the ring and then extended my arm out in front of me so I could admire it. Just as I did this and was about to call Joe who was in Cincinnati to tell him how much I loved him and how amazing this was, I heard the door open from my right. Thinking it was my best friend, I turned my head towards the door, but it wasn’t my best friend. I gasped as soon as I saw Joe’s tall frame standing in the doorway, holding a bouquet of flowers. I put my hand over my mouth as Joe took a step into the room after slipping the key into his pocket and shut the door. “No way!” I screamed and ran to him.

As soon as I got to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and practically body slammed him. When I crashed into Joe, he took one step back at the contact but then wrapped his arms around my waist and held me closely to him. “Hey freckles.” Joe laughed at how excited I was. Leaning back from him, I held the sides of his face and started to laugh. “What are you doing here benchwarmer? You had a game today, Joey. Oh my gosh I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” I said. It’s only been two weeks since I’ve seen him, but it still feels like forever after being with him all winter break. “I know, but I couldn’t wait until this weekend. Plus, surprises are always better.” Joe said with that wild smile that I love so much. The smile that is so beautiful and big that it makes butterflies soar in my stomach. Oh how I loved that smile.

Once again, I wrapped my arms around Joe’s neck and closed the distance between us, pressing my lips to his. Joe cupped my cheek with one hand and then pulled me closer to him until there was no more room between us. When our lips finally separated, Joe looked past me at my nightstand before I remembered that he got me a promise ring. “Oh my gosh, right. I almost forgot,” I laughed and looked down at my hand to see the ring, “Joe it’s amazing, thank you. I love you so incredibly much.” I said.

I looked into his eyes as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “I love you so much. I know things are rocky right now with school and my job, but after you graduate, i’m going to marry you, I promise.” Joe said with that adorable smile. My face flushed red and butterflies flew around in my stomach. I looked down to my feet to try and hide my flustered state after Joe said he was going to marry me, but Joe put his finger underneath of my chin and angled my face up. When we made eye contact, I couldn’t help but let out a little giggle. “I’ll hold you to that,” I smiled up at him, “and by the way, I really thought you were proposing. I was pretty scared, not gunna lie.” I sighed out, telling Joe the truth.

“I know you aren’t ready for marriage yet. That’s why I got you this ring. It means that I love you more than life itself and I will wait however long it takes for you to be ready for marriage.” Joe said. As soon as he said this, a tear pricked my eye and I blinked fast and hard to try and subside them, but it was impossible. When a tear rolled down my cheek, Joe swiped it away with his finger and then chuckled slightly. “Are you getting all sappy on me now?” Joe said with a laugh. I sniffled a little bit and wiped another tear off of my cheek. I looked into Joes bright blue eyes after taking a deep breath. “It’s impossible for me not to. You are seriously the best, Joey. And trust me, I would get married right now but,” I said, but Joe cut me off, “you have a strict list of everything you have to or want to accomplish and marriage isn’t on the list for a little while. I get it. I do.” Joe said.

I squinted and looked up at him. After telling Joe about my list and showing him it a million times, he pretty much had it memorized by heart. After graduation came going to college, then studying hard and focusing until I get my degree, then moving in with Joe and finding a job in Cincinnati, then making enough money to support myself, then after a little bit, marriage. Deeper on the list somewhere is of course kids, but there are so many things that come before that as well, but that’s a conversation for a different day.

“Is it annoying? My list?” I asked him. “What? No, of course not. I made a list of my own back in high school too.” Joe said. I glared up at him and tilted my head. “No you did not, you lier. You would’ve told me about it sooner if you really made one.” I said, knowing he was lying. Joe put a hand on his chest and took a step back. “Excuse me? I did indeed have a list thank you very much.” He said, acting shocked. “Fine, enlighten me then, what was on it?” I asked him with a small smile, knowing for a fact that he didn’t have a list and would need to come up with things on the spot. Joe looked clueless for a few seconds as he tried to think of things and then he said, “One, go to college, two, fall in love with the most amazing girl and then do long distance…three…win a national championship, four, win the heisman trophy, five…,” Joe hesitated, thinking about what came next. I slapped his arm and rolled my eyes. The both of us started laughing as I said, “you idiot. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving you that much credit. You may have had big dreams, but not dreams that specific and in order.”

“Fine, fine, you caught me. But I was really hoping to fall in love with an amazing girl, and I did just that. Granted, I never thought she’d be a carrot top with freckles and have an attitude like yours.” Joe said and avoided eye contact with me, knowing that always drove me crazy when he called me carrot time. I drew the line at carrot top after kids at school used to bully me about that years ago. “Oh shut up, you love my hair and freckles. Maybe not my Attitude as much, but you still love it.” I said with a ‘hmph’ and held my head up high in a triumphant manner. “Guilty. I love your red hair. I love your freckles. I love your green eyes, attitude, long legs, and eye lashes. I love how driven you are. I love the way you get so flustered at the smallest things. I love the way you light up a room with just your presence alone. I love the way you stick out your tongue when you’re concentrating super hard on something.” Joe said. I put a hand over my mouth and couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my rosy cheeks. “Joey.” I said quietly. Joe just looked down at me and cupped my cheek. “I am so in love with every single thing about you and I cannot wait to marry you, freckles.” Joe said. “I cannot wait to marry you too, Benchwarmer.” I giggled through tears.

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vivwritesfics · 2 days

Text

Slow Down, You're Gonna Crash

Chapter Seven

Summary: Being a Verstappen means realising that you'll never be as good as her brother. She knew it. That was why she ran away to California. Of course, she's gonna fall for the older, naval aviator. And, of course, it pisses her family off.

Bradley Bradshaw x F1!Driver Reader

1.7K

Series Masterlist

It wasn't usual that she and Bradley arrived at The Hard Deck at different times. The Squad had gotten so used to seeing the both of them walk in together, his arm around her shoulders as he laughed at something she'd said.

This time, he'd arrived before her. Walked in with the rest of the Squad (something that hadn't happened since that night he'd met her).

Part of Bradley couldn't help but wonder what she had to be doing in that moment. When he'd left she'd asked for access to his laptop, and he'd told her go for it. (She'd proceeded to ask for the password, but was it really a shock that Bradley's laptop didn't have one?) Was she still typing away, doing God knows what?

At some point in the conversation, he'd stopped listening. He hadn't meant to stop listening to whatever Jake and Natasha were arguing about, hadn't meant to pull out his phone and start texting her. But he was smiling down at it, laughing at whatever she'd sent him now (a meme she'd made herself, something that nobody but the two of them would understand. She'd used a picture from her karting days, one of her in the background of an interview, looking ready to murder the boy getting interviewed).

And suddenly Natasha was snapping her hands in front of his face, getting his attention. "What the hell is wrong with you, man?" She asked as she thrust the pool cue towards them. When the hell had they started playing pool? But then Natasha looked down at the phone in his hands, at the contact name at the top of the screen. "Oh."

He took the pool cue and dropped his phone onto the seat as he stood. He could go five minutes without texting her. Well, he'd try.

And he was doing a good job. He didn't notice when it started blowing up with so many texts that they started failing to come through, and then coming through all at once.

Bob noticed, though. Sat there with his cup of peanuts and his water, he noticed as Bradley's phone started going crazy. "Rooster!" He called as he picked it up. It was still vibrating as it sat in his hand, screen lighting up with texts of 999! EMERGENCY! ROOS COME BACK!

Bradley passed his pool cue back to Natasha. He rushed over, took the phone from Bob and immediately called her. Now, if he'd taken a minute to just read what she was saying, the poor man would have realised that he had no reason to call her in such panic.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" He asked quickly as he searched for his keys in his pocket.

There was a pause before she spoke. "Do you wanna come to Miami with me?"

The panic immediately left Bradley's body. He could have killed her he was so mad. Well, not mad. No, he was never mad at her. But an exasperated breath left her lips. "That was your emergency?"

A giggle left her lips.

"When are we going?"

Before she could say more, the phone was wrestled out of Bradley's grip. "Hey!" He shouted as Jake took the phone from him.

"Hi, Verstapp," said Jake as he help the phone up to his own ear. "Why aren't you here with us?"

"I'm busy, Bagman," she said. At that moment she was sat on the bed, laptop in front of her and phone held between her shoulder and her ear. She tapped away at the laptop, sending emails to the Williams F1 Team.

"I'm putting you on speaker."

Jake did just that. He put the phone on speaker and placed it onto the table between all of them. "Hi!" Natasha and Bob both called.

"Hey guys!" She shouted back. "Yeah, so it's in a month. I was thinking about driving up two days before, be there for the practice sessions," she said.

A month. She hadn't watched any other races since that first one. Bradley didn't ask why she didn't want to watch any other races. No, he filled her Sundays with good things. Watching movies, sitting on the beach and eating dinner.

Her favourites were walks under the stars, tucked under Bradley's arm. It was a world away from Formula One, what she needed in those moments. Well, what she needed was Bradley.

But he froze, breath hitching.

"Where are you guys driving to?" Bob asked her.

"Miami. For the Grand Prix weekend."

It was Jake that started laughing. Actually, he was the only one to laugh. "Drive? To Miami? Are you kidding?" He asked and started laughing again. "Oh, Kid-" She hated it when Jake called her that. Only Bradley got to call her that and even that was a rarity. "You'd be better off flying."

She was quiet for a second. Longer than that, actually. Long enough that Bradley picked up the phone and held it to his ear. "Baby? You still there?"

"I forget that America is so big," she mumbled.

"Oh, baby," he said as a smile appeared beneath his moustache. It was a damn sweet one, and a damn shame that she couldn't see it. "I'm gonna get some dinner on my way home," he said as he pulled his keys from his pocket and made his way out of The Hard Deck.

The blow of 'I can't come with you' came easier when said over shared Chinese food on his couch with Rush playing in the background. He held her on his lap while she booked her flights to Miami and sat through her trying to convince him to come with.

But they had a month to kill before she left Miami. And, in that month, she made a rather big decision.

"Roo, I want you to teach me to cook."

He looked up at her, dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of tiny, grey shorts. It was a sight he saw so often, but one that would always have his breath catching in his throat and his eyes wandering.

But he recovered quickly. "You want me to teach you how to cook?"

Her bottom lip was pulled between his teeth as she nodded.

Bradley had never been this excited before. He wasn't the best cook, but his mother had taught him some stuff. He stood up and dragged her over to the kitchen.

Learning to cook with Bradley was incredibly fun. He taught her to make lasagne, which ended up with an incredibly messy counter. "My mom made the best lasagne," he said as he stood behind her, arms wrapped around her, instructing her on what to do. "She would have liked you."

She froze against him, always did when Bradley said relationship-y stuff like this. But she cleared her throat, pushed on and placed the lasagne tray into the oven.

"My mum used to make the best cookies, too," said Bradley as she shut the door. "Wanna make some?"

"Do you even have chocolate chips?"

"We can make it work."

Bradley started making the cookies. He read out the recipe as he worked, and she sat on the counter and watched. She could have watched him all day as he mixed the sugar and the butter together in his pink bowl.

As Bradley baked, she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled the familiar number. As it rang she placed the phone onto the counter beside her and reached for Bradley.

"Hello?" Said her brother as Bradley held his spoon to her lips.

She licked the mixture of sugar and butter from the spoon. "Max!" She called and picked up her phone, holding it in front of her lips. "How is the season going? Have you won everything?"

"Kip," Max groaned from the other end of the phone. "Had an issue with the car in Australia, fucking Carlos won," he mumbled, and she laughed. "It's not funny, Kip! P was watching and she was so upset!"

As he looked at her, Bradley furrowed his brows. Kip? He mimed, and she held up her finger, telling him to wait.

"Well, Maximilian, I'm thinking of coming to Miami," she said quickly.

"You are?" He asked at the same time that she said, "Is dad gonna be there?"

"Huh?" Max voiced.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Don't interrupt this time," she said quickly, but it was just in jest. "Is dad gonna be in Miami for the Grand Prix?"

He mumbled something under his breath. "Miami? I don't think so. Are you definitely gonna be there?"

"Logan wants my support for his home race, so I'm gonna be there," she said.

Max released a cough from his lips. "Do I get to meet your boyfriend?" He asked quickly. She could practically see the smile he was definitely wearing.

Rolling her eyes, she held her finger over the red button. "Goodbye, Maximilian," She called and hung up.

The moment she put her phone down, Bradley was there. He parted her legs and stood between them, hands on her hips as he pulled her against him. "Kip?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he frowned.

She tipped her head to the side as she looked at him, expression unamused. "It's Dutch for Chicken," she mumbled.

Bradley laughed, lips twitching up beneath his moustache. "Chicken, really?" But even her pissed off expression wasn't enough to stop him. "No, I see it. It's cute. They're small-" He gestured between the two of them, indicating the size difference, "-Kind of aggressive-" He pointed to his arm, where she'd left a bite mark that morning (which Rooster loved), "-But, most importantly, cute."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Good save, Rooster. You're not gonna start calling me Chicken, are you?"

For just a moment, Bradley thought about it. "You know what? I might. Rooster and Chicken."

She groaned, but her smile was undeniable. Rooster and Chicken. She loved it.

Taglist: @biancathecool

@not-nyasa

@boiohboii

@thehufflepuffavenger1

@sweate-r-weathe-r

@hiireadstuff

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@sol-emers

@callsignwidow

@elliotts1one

@woozarts

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 days

Note

AITA for not being entirely negative about AI?

05/16/2024

Just before anyone scrolls down just to vote YTA, please hear me out: I'm not an AI bro, I am a hobbyist artist, I do not use generative AI, I know that it's all mostly based off stolen work and that's obviously Bad.

That being said, I am also an IT major so I understand the technology behind it as well as the industry using it. Because of this I understand that at this point it is very, very unlikely that AI art will ever go away, I feel like the best deal out of it that actual artists can get out of it is a compromise on what is and isn't allowed to be used for machine learning. I would love to be proven wrong though and I'm still hoping the lawsuits against Open AI and others will set a precedent for favouring artists over the technology.

Now, to the meat of this ask: I was talking in a discord sever with my other artist friends some of which are actually professionals (all around same age as me) and the topic of discussion was just how much AI art sucks, mostly concerning the fact that another artist we like (but don't know personally) had their works stolen and used in AI. The conversation then developed into talking about how hard it is to get a job in the industry where we live and how AI is now going to make that even worse. That's when I said something along the lines of: "In an ideal world, artists would get paid for all the works of theirs that are in AI learning databases so they can have easy passive income and not have to worry about getting jobs at shitty companies that wouldn't appreciate them anyway." To me that seemed like a pretty sensible take. I mean, if could just get free money every month for (consensually) putting a few dozens of my pieces in some database one time, I honestly would probably leave IT and just focus on art full time since that's always been my passion whereas programming is more of a "I'm good at it but not that excited about doing it, but it pays well so whatever".

My friends on the other hand did not share the sentiment, saying that in an ideal world AI art would be outlawed and the companies hiring them would not be shitty. I did agree about the companies being less shitty, but disagreed about AI being outlawed. I said that the major issue with AI are the copyright concerns so if tech companies were just forced to get artist's full permission to using their work first as well as providing monetary compensation there really wouldn't be anything wrong with using the technology (when concerning stylized AI art, not deepfakes or realistic AI images as those have a completely different slew of moral issues).

This really pissed a few of them off and they accused me of defending AI art. I had to explain to them that I wasn't defending AI art as it was NOW, because I know that the way it works NOW is very harmful, I was just saying that as an IDEAL scenario, not even something I think is particularly realistic, but something I think would be cool if it were actually possible. The rest of the argument was honestly just spinning in circles with me trying to explain the same points and them being outraged at the fact that I'm not 100% wholeheartedly bashing even the mere concept of AI until I just got frustrated and left the conversation.

It's been about a week and I haven't spoken to the friends I had that argument with since then. I still interact on the server and I see them interacting there too but we just kinda avoid each other. It's making me rethink the whole situation and wonder if I really was in the wrong for saying that and if I should just apologize.

#aita #am i the asshole

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crimsonmoonlight88 · 2 days

Text

Together Strong

Pairing: Noa x Mae

A/N: Help, I've fallen and I can't get up. Just a short drabble inspired by a scene from Avatar that refused to leave my mind.

It was hard to believe the war for world domination was over for now--harder, even, to think how much had changed since the first time Mae had stepped into this ruined observatory and gazed upon the stars.

Like that fateful night, the sky was dark and cloudless, glittering with stars and the promise of a brighter future. Mae had been wrong, then. The world did not belong to the humans--it belonged to humans and apes, and together they would need to navigate this new age.

The Eagle Clan had tripled in size, and was now established as one of the leading territories. The Clan had chosen a new Master of Birds and Warlord, which called for a celebration. Mae had never known what it was like--to feast and laugh and tell stories over bonfires. To listen to the beating of drums and chants of song.

The festivities that followed the ceremony would last long through the night, and she had needed a moment of quiet, seeking this long forgotten place beneath the stars.

As Mae moved toward the telescope, she heard him enter, intentionally making himself known as to not startle her. But he did not speak. She wondered when he had noticed she had slipped away; he always seemed keenly aware of where she was, just as she was of him.

The past few weeks--months, really--had been nothing but plotting and planning and fighting. There had been blood, and death, and little time to talk about much else but war and peace. Mae did not mind. It let her avoid the truths she feared to acknowledge.

But she knew she could longer avoid them.

"It feels like ages since we were here," she said finally, a hand trailing over the cool bite of metal. "You are the Master of Birds now." She dug a finger into a groove, feeling moist dirt there. "Anaya says you will make a bow from the wood of the tallest tree." She paused. "And you will choose a mate."

Noa said nothing, watching her from the shadows in that silent, still way of his.

For some reason, Mae could not look at him, even though she could hardly look away during the ceremony. He had been covered in dark blue and white woad, adorned in armor that made him look more a knight than an ape. Master of Birds and Warlord. A leader.

Mae reached up to the necklace she always wore, her fingers playing with Raka's medallion--the symbol of peace and strength. "Nina is a good singer," she admitted. The female was one of the best in the clan, taming even the most wild of eagles.

A beat of silence. And then Noa said, his voice drifting from the shadows, "I do not want...Nina."

Mae suppressed a smile, but it quickly faded. "Soona is a good hunter. And an even better friend." And you were born within a sunset.

Another beat of quiet. And then--

"She is...all those things." He paused. "And family."

Mae stilled, not just at his words, but because he had snuck up behind her. She turned, half dreading what she might find. Noa stood at his full height, intimidating in his warrior's garb. He was hardened from war, but his eyes were still soft as he looked at her.

"But I have...already chosen," Noa went on gently. He reached out, his large hand covering hers over the medallion, his eyes bright. "But this woman...this...Nova...must also choose me."

Mae smiled at him, blinking back tears. "She already has."

His lips parted slightly, almost in disbelief. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers, his strong hands finding the back of her neck.

"You choose...this?" he breathed. "You choose...Eagle Clan? Me?"

He had once asked her if apes and humans could live together. Then, she had not known. But now, she could see no other future. Noa and Raka, Soona and Anaya and the others, even the humans that had joined their forces, they were family now.

"Yes," Mae answered. "Our cause is important. What we have built is important." She reached up, cupping his cheek. "You are important. To me."

His hands tightened on her neck, no doubt remembering those words, how he had said them to her on the battlefield when he had begged her to run. She refused. She would not leave him and the others then, and she would not leave them now.

Mae closed her eyes. "Together," she went on, "strong."

"Together," Noa echoed, his voice a promise, "strong."

And as they stood there under the stars, ape and human but somehow twin souls, Mae knew, no matter what the future held, they would face it side by side.

Together.

#nomae #noamae #noa x mae #crimsonmoonlightfic #Yes Raka lives how could he not #please be kind its just fanfic

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 2 days

Note

Hellooo may I ask if you plan to continue the kny cats series?

KNY Kitties | 4

Sooner than the quadruple had liked your friend had returned and was eager to take her cats home

And while the sad mews from the kittens broke your heart it was nice to see the Magenta and Waterbug reclaim their role as guardians

Once again alternating between following you around the house and watching the kittens

While you’d like to say all was back to normal it was not

The blonde Turkish angora with rainbow eyes seemed to be finding himself at your place more often

With a new friend named Snowflake

Turns out your friend who owned him did return from her trip

But she had fallen in love with the idea of traveling and had convinced her boyfriend to do the same

Which meant you were left to take care of both of their cats for the foreseeable future

As disappointing as that was having the new short hair around helped balance everyone out

Keeping the mischievous Angora busy

Otherwise, life was good

You were hanging out even longer with your new landlord

And cracking down on the only cat that seems to be escaping from your home:

“Okay, my babies! I’ll see you all in a bit I just have to make a quick run! Behave please!”

The sound of your voice suddenly disappearing behind the door caught everybody off guard. As far as they were concerned you were just getting a snack in the kitchen, you’d said so after getting up from cuddling with Magenta. The kittens who had previously tried to fall asleep beside Giyuu immediately snapped awake to go to the door to mew sadly. As though their crying would bring you back they held their little protest for a few minutes, deciding to sit by the door to wait. Giyuu figured he’d check on them before speaking to Muzan who was taking this opportunity to rub himself all over your clothes.

“Oi Muzan. Aren’t you stretching yourself too thin?//”

Without looking up the former demon king only intensified his scent smothering.

“How so?//”

“All week you’ve been jumping between being a cat and the ‘landlord’s son.’ Is there no stress on your body to be switching so often?//”

“No, I’m as infallible as I was in the past.//”

Giyuu hides the distasteful flicking of his tail at the prideful assumption. He didn’t really care if Muzan was caught, he was only worried about the rest of them transforming. If that time were to come.

“Ne ne Akaza-chan! Who do you think will be transforming next?”

The striped short hair groaned trying to slink away from Doma as they entered the bedroom. Giyuu’s ears twitched as he made his move to stay on the bed. Better to stay out of their way but still watch the Uppermoons.

“For all you know, it could be me!”

“Please we’d all be in trouble if it’s you.”

“Why wouldn’t you like it if we all go and live with our Master?”

Muzan perked up from the folded clothes to do his best to glare at his subordinates continuing to make biscuits on them.

“I wouldn’t let you live with me.”

“What?! Master why?!”

“(Y/n) would get the wrong idea about me and I will not have you disrupting my relationship with them.”

“How mean! Would you say the same with Akaza?”

“....No.”

“Whhyyyy?!”

Giyuu refused to say anymore jumping off the bed to the front door. He planned to check on the quiet kittens rather than listen to the useless drivel that was this conversation. He hoped none of it would be considered true. But if this was going off of physical prowess from their past lives that would be a likely scenario rather than Tanjiro. Giyuu was disappointed to see that Tanjiro hadn’t had the same changes he noticed Muzan was having before he first transformed.

When he finally entered the kitchen and doorway of the house he found the kittens precariously stacked on each other while standing on the counter, attempting to grab some treats. Recently you’ve been trying to teach the kittens some commands and tricks. Unfortunately for you, the kittens were smart enough to wish they could have those treats all the time.

“Tanjiro, Nezuko, Rui! What are you all doing?//”

A series of ‘uh oh’ and hushed whispers told him all he needed to know. Easily he hopped up on the counter to safely break up the little stack they had going on. They proceeded to whine and complain as he sent a scathing look to all of them–specifically at Tanjiro.

“Tanjiro what is this? I would’ve expected more from you.”

“It’s just that they were both hungry and they were crying–”

“That’s no reason to do this. If you’re so hungry you’ll wait until (Y/n) gets home.”

“But–”

“No, buts. Off the counter.”

But of course, as the kittens begin to slink away preparing for the drop-down, Muzan intervenes.

“What seems to be the problem.”

Giyuu prepares to speak only to be beaten by Rui. Who proudly tattles as though Giyuu was in the wrong.

“The old man says we can’t eat even though we’re hungry!”

“--Hey!”

Muzan probably already aware of the true situation coyly sits at the bottom of the counter.

“Well, that’s not right then.”

With a smooth snapping of bones, the human form of Muzan stood tall and more than able to reach for the treats. The kittens cheered letting out happy mews as he opened the bag and began leaving some food out. Giyuu groaned in the only way a cat can.

It is then his dark blues spot the small device above the refrigerator.

“Mu—!//”

Before he could get it out the door swung open. It is then that Muzan turns completely naked to look horrified at the main doorway where you had your phone’s light flashing with a picture and your jaw hanging open.

“OH MY G–”

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pisceslovrr · 2 days

Text

THE EXIT (spencer reid x fem!reader)

warnings: angst, spencer and reader breaking up, no use of y/n, spencer's new gf, no happy ending

an: this is heavily based off the song the exit by conan gray, also this is my first time posting anything like this. the ending was a bit rushed, i imagined season 3-4 reid for this one

February-

you and spencer were out of the honeymoon phase of your relationship, as you were noticing all the little things he does to keep his life in order. you were enjoying his company a lot, you liked having someone around you all the time.

one night he came home with flowers and you were excited to see him after he came back from a long case. you ran up to him and wrapped your arms around him. he didnt hug you back. "i missed you so much, spence!" you say as you pulled away and looked up at him. you noticed he was avoiding your eyes. "spencer whats wrong?" you questioned as you took his chin in your hand.

he said your name in a cold tone. you furrow your brows and you look up at him. he finally looks at you but his eyes are filled with sadness. "whats wrong, are you ok?" you say as you continue looking at him. he gives you the flowers. "can we sit down?" he says looking over at the couch.

you sit down first and he sits on the other end. it wasn't normal for him to not sit right next to you. he doesn't look at you either. "im sorry but.. " he starts and then pauses. you look at him with a worried on your face. he said your name and he continues "i need to end things, or i need to end us" he finally says.

tears well up in your eyes as you look around at the boxes that were from your apartment. "w-what?" you ask. "we need to break up" he says as he also looked at your boxes that were neatly stacked in the corner of the room. you dont say anything, you dont look at him, you just stare blankly at the boxes.

"please say something" he says with tears in his eyes. you dont know what to say, you dont even know what to think. "why?" you finally let out and it feels like you took a little weight off your chest. he looks at you "i like someone else, shes from my hometown and we just click so much" he says as he scoots closer to you.

you open your mouth to talk but words dont come out. he takes your hand, but you immediately pull your hands away and you get up from your spot on the couch. you look away from him "if shes better then go have her" you say as you grab your purse and your keys and you leave him alone in his apartment.

you go back to your apartment and you finally let out all your anger and your tears as you practically slam your things on the counter. you let out a guttural yell as you fall to the floor of your kitchen and you hold your head in your hands. you sit there and cry for a while until you hear your phone rhythmically buzzing on the counter.

you stand up to grab it and you feel dizzy at first but you grab it. you look at the contact. it shows "spencer♡". you look at the heart and you cry harder. "how could something so good end in about an hour" you thought as you watched his name disappear. almost instantly his name pops up again and you answer.

"hello?" he said from the other line. "hello." you respond coldly, not wanting him to know that you have been crying since you entered your home. he says your name "im sorry" he apologized. "are you really though? how could you be sorry for me if you have already found someone to replace what we had" you said as more tears welled up in your eyes. he tries to speak but you cut him off "i thought that we were special, you know? but i guess we werent special enough". you dont let him speak, you just hang up the phone.

you let the tears run down your cheeks as you think about the life changing night you experienced. you try to think about if you could have done anything to change it, but in reality you know that its probably for the best.

November-

you are running late to work but you need to get your daily coffee before you start the day. you walk into the usual coffee shop you go to every morning. you order what you usually order. you do everything as you usually do, but something seems off. you hear the doorbell ring as it would when somebody walks in. you turn around to see who it was.

the color drains from your face as you see spencer and this girl that has her arm linked with his. you immediately look away and try to hide your face. spencer says your name in a questioning tone. you dont turn around for a second but when you finally do he smiles at you. "spencer?" she says looking at him and smiling painfully.

hes opening his mouth, but you cant hear the sound thats coming out. you just stand there and nod. "are you ok? you seem off" you hear him say. "yeah im fine why wouldnt i be?" you ask as if you are not dying inside at this very moment. "you look pale" he says looking at your cheeks. "im just getting over the cold" you say smiling.

you think about how his life looks perfectly fine, he has his new girlfriend on his shoulder, and he seems like hes doing amazing. meanwhile your wounds are still black and bruised. "aw thats too bad, how have you been?" he asks while still smiling and he kisses his new girlfriend on the top of her head. "i have been great! what about you?" you say still smiling painfully. "well i have been doing good!" he says as you notice that their hands are interlocked. "thats good-" you get cut-off by the barista calling your name because your drink was ready.

you grab your drink and you try to hurry out. "well i hope you have a good rest of your day" he waves as youre walking out of the door. you dont pay attention to him, but you walk back to your apartment and suddenly you are taken back 9 months when he broke up with you. you are on your kitchen floor crying as you think about how good they looked together, and how he was happy. "i shouldnt be crying about a happy couple enjoying their day" you think.

you dont see spencer at all after that. you avoid that coffee shop like its the plague. you avoid all the places that you and him used to hang out at. you never drive down his street even though its a quicker way to get to work. you never want to see him or her ever again.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #i love spencer reid

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poppitron360 · 1 day

Text

I’d like to dive deeper into my thoughts on Caleo, bc they have been taking up most of my brainpower rn:

I get where Rick was going with it. I really do. They started off hating each other, Calypso thinking Leo was really annoying and just generally being like “why is this tiny human talking to me?”, but then they grew closer, realised they misunderstood each other, and bonded over common ground. It’s sweet. But the thing is, Rick? You’ve already got a character that did all that with Leo in the previous book!

And his name is Frank.

1. You’ve already set up that dynamic! Why not spend more time focusing on fleshing out that existing arc instead of creating a new one?

2. There’s SO MUCH more potential with angst- Frank being afraid of Leo bc of his fire, Leo being afraid of Frank because he’s twice his size and could easily crush his tiny body under his foot. Leo’s had to learn to survive on his brains and quick-wits in order to protect himself from bullies, and instantly gets defensive when he sees Frank. Frank is very insecure and sensitive, so immediately falls victim to Leo’s jokes. It takes a while for both of them to take those walls down, put aside their differences, and learn to trust each other.

3. It’s just hilarious how got-off-on-the-wrong-foot they were. A reminder that when Frank first met Leo, Leo had just destroyed half of New Rome. They both immediately judged each other completely based on looks- like it’s seriously funny how much you could compare these two to “Pride and Prejudice”. Also, the awkward misunderstanding that was the whole Sammy thing-

4. But they also have a lot more in common that Leo and Calypso ever did- similar trauma with losing their moms, and actually Leo is just as afraid of fire as Frank is. Both are incredibly insecure, and they both feel like they don’t belong among the other Seven.

5. You’ve also got that fun opposites-attract thing- Frank is big and muscular, Leo is built like a twig. Frank is big soft pookie bear, Leo is an absolute menace to society. Frank can turn into animals, Leo is a machines guy. Frank is Roman, Leo is Greek. You get the idea. They were written to juxtapose each other beautifully. They are the Yin to each other’s Yang.

6. They get so much more time together to establish a meaningful relationship. Their arc carries over three books, and we get to form connections as a reader to BOTH Leo AND Frank separately beforehand, so the payoff is a lot more satisfying. It takes time for them to open up to each other, and when they do it feels like they earned it. Calypso and Leo got a couple of chapters, that’s it.

It doesn’t have to be romantic! Leo can heal his trauma with friends and found family, learning to love and accept himself, learning that he doesn’t actually need the attention of a hot girl to be valid. He can find his place among his brethren with the help of all his friends, even Frank- the most unlikely of friends.

I wish Rick had put more effort into fleshing out the platonic relationships instead of just conforming to romance-centric ideals of “love fixes everything!” It’s lazy, and boring, and has been done to death. Platonic friendships make up 95% of our relationships, yet they are SERIOUSLY underrepresented in media. I’m calling for more interesting platonic dynamics. Leo and Frank could’ve been so much more, if Rick had actually taken the time to build on their relationship, and focused less on “Leo Needs a Girlfriend”!

So, when I say “Everything Caleo did, Valzhang could do better”- THAT is what I meant.

Also, Jason is so much better for Leo than Calypso, but that’s a whole other post.

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acaaai-t · 1 day

Text

as the seasons change

[fem! reader x college au! xiao]

cw: fluff, lots of fluff, slow burn-ish, fluff, reader gets harassed, cursing, oh did i mention fluff? — [long fic ahead]

wc: 7.3k

⤷ ❝ ft song— 《小城夏天》 ❞

“rainfall, a storming encounter— spring.”

"Do you remember the night we first met? Or well, at least when I first met you?" you asked, snuggling deeper into the warmth your blanket, and your partner, provided.

Xiao smiled and pulled you closer. "I could never."

>>—<<

The night was still young, light rain pattering against the windows. It was hard to tell if the sun was still up or not, for the dark clouds covered everything. It was only you left, still clearing out the store, handling the remaining few customers here and there.

“Your hot americano, sir,” you said, handing the customer their ordered drink. “Would you like a bag with it?”

“No, I would like your number with it though. Say, you’re single, aren’t you?”

“Wh— huh?”

“Oh, come on, a charming fellow like you is still single, am I right?"

You really weren’t sure how to respond to his advancements, so you stood there, dumbfounded. “Um—”

“Why don’t you leave her the fuck alone?” the voice of a random customer cut you off.

You looked over to the whoever it was helping you deal with this man. ‘Oh shit, he’s really pretty,’ was your first thought upon sight.

The customer glared at the interrupter. “Look, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I ain’t going to listen to whatever the hell you say.”

“Then I’m sure you’ll have a fun time talking to the police,” pretty boy said, staring down at the customer. He flashed the screen of his phone, the number 9-1-1 on dial.

“You—” he stopped himself, took a deep breath, and turned his attention from pretty boy over to you. “Listen here, you bitch. Shits would’ve been so much easier if you just gave me your fucking number, yeah?”

You flinched. “I’m sorry?”

“Sorry doesn’t fucking do shit,” he yelled, lifting up his cup of coffee.

Your eyes widened. “Don’t—”

Too late.

You nearly screamed when you felt the burning hot coffee sizzle against your skin. The now empty cup rolled to the side. You hastily wipe at your face, crimson from where the coffee had made contact.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” pretty boy got up from where he was seated. The man turned to look at him.

You quickly took this opening to disappeared into the back kitchen, searching for a cold towelette to ease the burning pain. You could’ve sworn you had ascended to heaven there and then when you pressed the cool towel onto your face.

‘That feels so much better…’

A loud crash pulled your spirit back down. Keeping the towel pressed against your cheek, you made your way back to the front counter— just in time to see the customer that had harassed you flee the scene. Pretty boy stood there, arms crossed, rolling his eyes as the glass door swings shut.

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” he asked the moment his eyes laid upon you.

“There’s no need,” you smiled at him. “Thanks for helping me, by the way.”

“It’s… nothing,” he adverted his gaze from you.

You finally got a good look at him. His facial features were mostly obscured by a black mask he wore, but his striking amber eyes was a prominent detail, you noticed. There was also a greenish tint to the edges of his hair and along his bangs. Peeking out from under his turtleneck, you saw a trace of some sort kind tattoo. ‘That’s hot,’ you immediately thought to yourself.

You must’ve been staring for too long, for his voice suddenly broke off your thoughts. “Can you please stop staring…” he sounded and looked flustered. Even with the mask on, you could faintly see the red of his cheeks.

“Ah, sorry…” you were quick to reply, embarrassment crawling in showing as the pink that lightly dusted your face.

The atmosphere of the cafe suddenly felt very awkward, with neither side willing to talk. You cleared your throat, hoping to break the silence. Perhaps you could treat him to a free coffee for helping you rid of that costumer. You put on a smile. Your cash register blinked red.

“Would you like a—” you glanced down at the register for just the slightest moment, then look back up, only to find the pretty boy gone. “Free coffee…” you finished.

‘Ah.’

“starfall, the sparkle in your eyes— summer”

“Oh FUCK.”

You scrambled about, hurriedly changing from the comforts of your pajamas to whatever you’d dug out from your closet.

“Why didn’t my fucking alarm go off?!”

“What the fuck?” the groggy voice of Aether mumbled.

Panic was racing though your body, you glanced at the clock as you stuffed your boots on.

8:57am

You have three minutes to spare. 180 seconds to make it from your dorm to your campus, from your campus to your lecture hall. Under most normal circumstances, you would’ve just skipped the exam altogether, but your professor just had to be a bitch and make the exam a major part of your grade— and if you wish to pass his class, you must take it.

Exam starts the moment the clock ticks 9:00, and nobody is allowed in anymore after— as your professor had specifically told the class.

“Sorry Aether!”

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you slammed the door shut and booked it.

8:58am

Two minutes was all you had left. You didn’t waste your entire high school life practicing in the track team just not make be able to make a 300-yard dash in two minutes. You can— no, you will. You will make it.

Your peripheral vision of the environment blurred together as the wind began to catch up, heart racing with every stride you take.

In your haze of sheer panic, you had failed to notice the boy you were gunning towards scrambling to move out of your way. You yelped when you absolutely bodied them. He managed to steady himself, but you on the other hand, found yourself sprawled on the concrete.

“Ow…” you muttered, rubbing your lower back regions. “I’m so sorry you see— oh it’s you!”

Pretty boy looked bewildered; his eyes trained on your figure sitting on the ground. He reached out a hand to help you up, but there was no need. You weren’t sitting for very long, for a quick glance at your watch had you up instantly.

“I am going to be late. Sorry about that,” you called out.

He stood there. “You dropped something…” he slowly said.

But you were long gone, leaving nothing but a slight breeze that tickled his cheek.

>>—<<

Just a little under a minute remaining. Your lungs felt like they were on fire. The sight of your class building was just in sight. Just a little bit more, you thought.

15…

You pulled out your student ID and swiped through the scanner, barley giving the poor machine time to unlock the door before you rammed your way through it.

11…

Scrambling up the stairs like a madman, you could care less about the student that screamed at the sight of you— going on all fours crawling up the stairs at an inhuman speed.

4…

You’ve finally made it to the third floor; your legs were uncontrollably shaking by then. The final stretch, and with the time quickly ticking away, you ran as if your life was on the line.

1…

The door to the lecture hall opened with a loud bang, echoing throughout the quiet room. Every head was turned to stare at you, even your professor stopped midway in handing out tests to look at you.

“I’m not late,” you panted, face flushed red.

You made it with barley a second to spare. The clock struck nine.

>>—<<

“Ugh, I for sure failed that exam…” Lumine grumbled, stuffing her reference papers back into her backpack. “You done organizing yet?”

“One moment…” you replied, zipping up your bag. “…okay, let’s go.”

Lumine hooked her arm around yours as the two of you exited the lecture hall. “You know when you slammed that door open, everyone jumped. I think the prof got scared too.”

“Don’t remind me. I nearly broke my back trying to get here on time… hey speaking of which. Why didn’t you wake me up?” you said.

“I tried; you were dead asleep… I accidentally woke Aether and Tao up trying to get you awake,” Lumine replied.

“Oh— ow, my back,” you muttered. The scene where you rammed into the pretty boy flashed in your mind. You suddenly frowned. “Wait a moment.”

You stopped in the middle of the hallway, realization catching up to you. “Wait a damn moment.”

“What is up with you today? Let’s go before they trample us over,” Lumine said, tugging you along as another current of students flooded your way. She led you out the school building. You winced and squeezed your eyes shut as the unbearably bright sunlight caught you off guard.

Now it was Lumine’s turn to pull you to a halt. You felt the hand grip around your arm tighten. “Ow,” you complained.

“Oh sorry— but look at that guy over there!” Lumine exclaimed, slightly gesturing over to someone.

You squinted, trying to see through the blazing glory of the sun. “Where?” you asked. “I literally can’t see, it’s so bright.”

“Over there,” Lumine hissed. “Oh, crap I think he saw us, let’s go let’s go.”

Lumine quickly began to usher you away, and you blindly followed suit. You felt her panic when she suddenly began dragging you as she sped walked away.

“Hey, wait—” a voice called out from behind.

Lumine stopped, frozen over. You turned around, using one hand to mask away the sun. “It’s you again!” you exclaimed.

“It’s me.”

“You two know each other?” Lumine quipped, turning over to look at you. Her eyes narrowed. “You aren’t stalking my friend here, right?”

“Lumine, relax. Remember what happened at work? He was the guy I was telling you about. Not a stalker.”

“Ohh— him?!”

“Why are you so shocked?”

“Need to have a word with you,” Lumine whispered, grabbing ahold of your sleeve. “Excuse us.”

She brought you over to a more secluded area— under one of the many oak trees and began talking in a hushed voice.

“Do you even have a clue as to who he is?” She lightly jabbed at your chest.

“No?” you replied. “All I know is that he’s the regular that appears and orders the same thing every day.”

“That’s Xiao?! Like the Xiao??”

“Oh, that super-hot guy that everyone loves? … THAT’S HIM?!” jaw dropped, you stared at Lumine in utter disbelief.

“Yes!” she hissed.

“Now I see why everyone was staring at him… you too.”

“How did I not know? No, how did you not know?! Your so-called protector is Xiao…”

You ran your fingers through your hair. “I didn’t think it was necessary, besides, you never asked.”

“Fuck you, let’s go back,” she said, sweetly smiling at you. You suddenly had a bad feeling. The iron grip she had on your arm slightly terrified you. Lumine led you back to where Xiao stood.

“Hi, sorry for keeping you waiting,” you said, sending Lumine a glare. She pinched you in response.

“It’s fine,” he said. “You dropped his, by the way, when you uh, bumped into me.”

“Ah.”

Bumped was too nice of a word to replace what had really happened. You laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, sorry about that, you aren’t hurt, are you?”

He shook his head. “Here,” he said, handing you your keys.

“Oh, so that’s where my keys went,” you exclaim, taking your item back. “I was wondering where it went. Thank you!” You beamed at him.

He turned his head away. It went silent again.

Lumine took one look at the sudden mood change, then gave you a sly smile, and slipped away from the scene before you could even latch on to her. You watched as she ran away, her figure gradually merging in with the other students.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked once Lumine was out of sight.

“What?”

“Your cheek, where the drink burned you. Does it still hurt?”

“No,” you said. “Thank you, again.”

“It’s nothing.”

“And uh, last time you left before I could ask you,” you said. “I would like to treat you to a cup of coffee as my thanks.”

“There’s really no need.”

“I insist. Are you free this Saturday?” you asked. “I’m [name], by the way.”

“Xiao,” he replied. “I’m free anytime.”

“Wonderful! I’ll see you this Saturday at Angels Hall then,” you said.

You hadn’t given Xiao much of a chance to speak before you left, giving him a small wave as you disappeared under the bright sunlight to look for Lumine. If you had stayed a little longer and observed a little closer, maybe you would’ve seen the furious blush that covered his cheeks that he so desperately tried to hide.

“Ooh-la-la, my goodness Xiao,” a cheeky voice came trailing up behind him. “Who’s the lucky one?”

Xiao glared at the newcomer. “Nobody, Venti.”

The short boy in green placed a hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt. “Oh Xiao, you won’t even tell me? That’s fine then, I’ll get Heizou to do it for me.” His voice had a slight tease to it.

“Shut it…”

The week passed by in a blink of an eye, and Saturday came faster than Xiao liked. You had told him the details when you— coincidentally, bumped into him while running some errands.

2:00pm, you had told him.

The clock was striking close to 1:45 and he was not ready to have a one-on-one conversation with you.

Xiao paced around his dorm anxiously, muttering incoherent nonsense to himself. His dorm mates looked at him curiously, but no word was said between them. Venti sat in one corner of the room, silently giggling to himself. He seemed to be the only one amused at Xiao’s demise.

“What’s got you so stressed out, Xiao?” one of his dorm mates asked. His green eyes glinted with interest.

“Nothing…” Xiao muttered.

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me. Are you meeting her?”

Xiao froze. “How do you know? Did Venti tell you?”

“Ah, so you ARE meeting up with her.”

>>—<<

“You did WHAT NOW?!”

Aether winced at Hutao’s sudden outburst. “Tao, volume please.”

“Did she actually do it? You saw her ask him?” Hutao gripped tightly onto Lumine’s shoulders, gently shaking her. Her bright red eyes widened.

“I don’t know,” Lumine sheepishly admitted. “I ran away so they could have some time alone, you know?”

Hutao looked miserable, the way her bangs drooped down and covered her face. She dramatically sighed and spun herself onto her bed, the mattress squeaking as she did so.

You got up from where you sat and began rummaging through your tiny closet for a bag suitable for today's meeting. You couldn’t find one to your liking, so you began searching through Lumine’s closet. “Hey Lum, mind if I borrow your bag for the day? It’s the black messenger one.”

“Sure, just don’t get it dirtied,” Lumine replied nonchalantly. She crumpled up a piece of scrap paper and threw it at Aether. It landed directly on his forehead with a tiny bonk.

“Lumine!” he whined, rubbing at where the ball had hit him.

You quickly slipped on a pair of boots and opened the door. “I’ll take my leave now.”

“Have fun on your date!” Hutao cheered enthusiastically, her voice muffled. It seemed her glum mood had just dispelled.

“It’s not a date,” you groaned, exasperated.

“Make sure to tell us EVERY single little detail when you get back,” Lumine said, her eyes boring onto yours. You shivered.

“Bye [name]!” Aether waved at you, stopped short when another paper ball hit him. “Lumine! Stop throwing those at me, you’re cleaning them up.”

“Bye everyone,” you said. “Be back in an hour or so.”

>>—<<

Xiao was incredibly nervous. He really should’ve said no to your offer. But… he squeezed his eyes a shut and groaned. He couldn’t bear seeing the disappointment washing over that sparkle of joy in your eyes.

Curse his feelings. To hell with them.

“Xiao!”

Your eager voice snapped his out of his thoughts. He looked up at you, and his heart began to beat a little faster.

It’s just a friendly meetup, not a date.

“Hey.”

“I didn’t keep you waiting for too long, did I?” you asked.

Xiao shook his head. “I just got here.”

“Great, let’s go in, shall we?” you said.

He nodded.

The door to the cafe opened with a jingle, and the ambiance of the environment allured you in further. Xiao followed closely behind you, his eyes darting around nervously.

A peculiar figure caught his eye, and he wanted to die right there and then at the sight.

Venti pushed his sunglasses up further and gave Xiao a shit eating grin. Seated around him was his dorm mates, everyone was there, watching him. Heizou gave him a wink, as if to say, ‘good luck’.

How they managed to get there before Xiao is beyond him.

“You fuckers…” Xiao mumbled under his breath.

You ushered him into a seat and handed him the menu.

“Order whatever,” you told him. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

When Xiao had made sure you were gone, he set the menu down and got up, making his way over to his friend group sitting in the corner.

“What the fuck are you guys doing here?” Xiao hissed.

Venti took off his sunglasses and gave Xiao an innocent look. “We just so happen to be passing by, didn’t know you were coming here too.”

Scaramouche scoffed, rolling his eyes. Heizou jabbed him.

“You know damn well…” Xiao said.

“Well Xiao, you shouldn’t stay for too long. Your date should be back soon,” Venti mused.

Speak of the devil, his sharp hearing picked up the sound of the bathroom door being open— despite the loud chatter of the cafe. He gave Venti a glare before returning to his seat and picking up the menu, acting as if nothing had transpired.

You reappeared, taking a seat across from him. “Chosen what you want yet?”

Xiao skimmed through the menu and quickly picked the one that looked the most appealing. “Yeah, an Angels Blessing, whatever that is.”

You called the waitress over and placed your orders.

“You really didn’t have to,” Xiao said, watching as the waitress left for the kitchen.

His words completely crossed your mind. Caught off guard by your silence, Xiao looked back at you.

Your eyes bore into his, an unreadable expression on your face. Xiao couldn’t bring himself to tear his gaze away from you even if he tried. Something compelled him to keep staring.

Suddenly the noises of the cafe blurred out, fading into nothing but a tiny buzz. It was just you and him, alone, sitting across from each other.

When had you become so pretty?

You smiled at him, the corners of your eyes crinkling up. “Xiao did you know?”

When did the butterflies began appearing?

“Know…” he swallowed the lump in his throat.

When did it happen? Why?

“You have really pretty eyes; they remind me of the stars glittering in the galaxy.”

Maybe that’s what had confirmed his skeptical feelings for you, because at that moment, Xiao felt like he fell in love all over again.

In love with all of you again.

“memoirs, anew remembrance— autumn”

Memories. Taken in the form on pictures, notes, anything.

Xiao could remember the time he first laid eyes on you clear as day.

It was on campus last year autumn, during the annual sports festival, where you were one of the many participants racing for the win. Xiao stood together with his friends, betting on who would come out victorious.

He wasn’t particularly interested in who won or who lost, in fact, Xiao didn’t even want to be here in the festival in the first place. It was only under the solemn promise of free almond tofu that he agreed to go.

“I’m betting on the one in green,” Venti said. “5 dollars he wins.”

“The player in purple,” Kazuha pointed to the billboard listing all the players. “How about you Scaramouche?”

“I don’t fucking know, the black one?” Scaramouche muttered.

“I’m calling the purple one,” Heizou said. “Who are you betting on, Xiao?”

“Uh, the blue one?” Xiao blurted out.

Venti clapped his hands in glee. “Wonderful! May the gods be on my side and let the green player win!”

“Venti that’s not how it works.”

>>—<<

“Nervous?”

“Of course I’m fucking nervous…” you mumbled, fidgeting with your gloves.

The pink hair girl laughed, her green eyes twinkling. “You’ll do just fine. Those months of practice won’t go to waste.”

“I really do hope so…”

“Have some faith in yourself.”

“Thank you, Fei,” you said, feeling the strings of agitation pulling away.

“Best of luck,” Yanfei said, sending you a wink just as the booming voice of the announcer came on.

It was your time to shine— or horribly embarrassed yourself.

>>—<<

“They’re finally starting!” Venti exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Oh there’s the green one!”

Xiao watched closely as each player began taking field. The player he had betted on stood in the far corner. He hadn’t expected himself to be so interested in the game. Perhaps it was because he didn’t want to lose five dollars today.

‘And the players had taken field!’ the announcer shouted.

The crowd cheered.

‘A soon to be fantastic yet suspenseful game tonight, five players competing for the title of king. Only the best out of the best in the field tonight, this game surely will be an interesting one. And now without any further delays…’

Xiao held his breath, his eyes trained on the player in blue.

‘…may the game commence.’

>>—<<

The pressure was killing you. The eyes, the cheers, the lights. Yet none of those stopped you. All those months of ruthless training— not even a single second will be left to waste away.

You dropped into a trance, body moving on autopilot. The voice of your coach commanded your every move.

It was only when the stadium erupted into screams that you broke out from your daze, startled at the sudden outburst.

‘And we have a clear winner!’ the announcer broadcasted, her voice echoing over the crowd’s cries.

Lumine jumped over the railings and ran into to the field, successfully dodging the security trying to grab her. She body slammed you and engulfed you in a tight hug. “YOU WON! YOU DID IT!” Lumine screamed. “Oh my god I’m so proud of you. See I told you you’ll win.”

I won? …

Suddenly you felt weak, head spinning, vision blurring. “I won?” you muttered.

The rest of your friend group came running towards you too, and security didn’t even bother to try and stop the two kids barreling for you. Hutao smashed into you, one hand holding a small bouquet of flower. Aether slowed to a jog and brought out a spray bottle, showering cool water on you.

“Congratulations my dear!” Hutao cheered. “We all fucking told you you’ll win this. Dinner is on me tonight.”

“You did great,” Aether said, handing you a bottle of water.

The crowd of people was still cheering for your victory, and cheered even louder when you held up your hard-earned trophy high in air for everyone to see. You laughed, a tear of happiness rolling down your cheek.

I won.

>>—<<

“Aw damn,” Venti groaned. “I was so sure green would win…”

“Xiao got lucky today,” Heizou laughed, handing Xiao a five-dollar bill. “Twenty dollars and a free dessert.”

“Say, where are we going out tonight?” Kazuha asked, also handing Xiao a five.

“Thanks…” Xiao muttered. He wasn’t even paying attention to the group's conversation. His interest was driven onto somewhere else— someone else.

For some odd reason, Xiao couldn’t stop staring at you.

Enveloped by your friends in a giant bear hug, the trophy glinting under the stadium lights, you stood there, crying and laughing.

Xiao smiled softly to himself.

The second time Xiao saw you was during the week before midterms, and at that time, you looked like a mess.

You were in Angels Hall with your friends, paper upon papers scattered all over the table. The coffee you had ordered was left to the side was half drank, long gone cold.

“I can’t,” you whined. “This is so.”

Lumine sat next to you, head buried in her arms. “I agree.”

“How about we finish this unit then we go, because I don’t think I can’t last any longer either,” Aether said. “Right Tao?”

“It’s been 2 hours, not sure how much longer I can go for,” Hutao mumbled. “I feel like shit.”

You straightened up. “Let’s go back to our dorm. None of us here wants to be here any longer.”

“I second that,” Lumine said, downing the last bits of her drink in one go.

Hutao began organizing all the papers into a neat stack before stuffing it into her bag, regardless of if it wrinkles. The waiter dropped by and handed you the bill with a forced smile.

“Let’s go,” Hutao said, getting up from her seat. Lumine was already by the exit, impatiently tapping her foot.

You set down a twenty-dollar bill and left with the rest of the group, the twinkling of the silver bell indicating your departure.

Xiao couldn’t help but feel disappointed, watching you leave.

Kazuha tapped his arm. “Xiao, are you good? You seem distracted.”

“He’s probably got his mind on someone,” Heizou said.

“Xiao? Liking someone? No way,” Venti gasped.

“Can you all just shut the fuck up and focus?” Scaramouche growled, already fed up. “Especially you, Venti.”

“Aha, sorry…”

The third time Xiao ran into you was at the coffee place you worked at. He had just randomly chosen a cafe to get a breather, a break from his work and from the rain. He had figured that this tiny cafe was the best place to enjoy his time and peace. It was during the evening, when there were just barely any more costumers coming in.

You stood behind the cashier, a bright smile plastered on your face.

“An iced black coffee,” he told you.

It hasn’t even been two minutes after he had paid, and his order was already ready to go.

“…thank you,” Xiao managed out. He quickly turned away and found a seat in the corner of the store, the tip of his ears already tinted red. There was no way he could return that bright grin of yours without turning into a tomato.

The way you smiled at him… the way you looked with your hair tucked behind your ear. In his eyes, you’re the literal embodiment of the ethereal celestial being send from the skies above. He had never felt like this towards someone ever before, this was a first for him. But all the signs made it clear— the way his heart pounds abnormally fast, the way his words get caught up in his throat, the way the butterflies flutter around in his stomach— it was all enough for Xiao to know that he had developed a crush for you.

No. He does not have a crush on you, he just merrily found you attractive. That is all there is to that.

“… single, aren’t you?”

Xiao snapped his head up, thoughts interrupted. He glanced over at the customer who was leaned over the counter, trying to act cool. The way your shoulders were tensed up, the stutters in your words— it was clear you were uncomfortable with his sudden advancements.

“Why don’t you leave her the fuck alone?” he snarled, caught off guard by his harsh tone.

What transpired afterwards was history, but ever since that incident, he has been coming in every day. By then, you had recognized Xiao as a regular in the new cafe you worked at. Every day he would appear exactly at 3:00pm, and order the same thing— a black coffee, and leave minutes before you get off your shift.

You found it endearing, how a mere stranger watched over you so protectively. Although your friends begged to differ.

“Pretty boy?” Lumine snorted. “Oh please, what if he’s going to kidnap you one day?”

“As if,” you retorted. “I trust my guts.”

“crystalline, frosted confessions— winter.”

“Black—”

“— coffee. Got it right here,” you said, holding up the cup of freshly brewed coffee. “As per usual, that’ll be 2.35$. But since you’ve been a regular here for so long, I’m cutting the price down to 1.75$.”

“Thank you,” Xiao handed you two dollars and took the coffee, where then he proceeded to sit in the same spot he had been sitting in for past few weeks.

The store was completely empty expect for Xiao. As expected, you thought. Nobody would want to be out when the weather had predicted an snowstorm. Flurries of snowflakes bend and shaped by the wind covered the outside world in a softened blanket of white.

“It’s snowing pretty hard outside,” you thought out loud, elbow resting against the marble counter. “Are you cold? I could turn the heater up.”

“It’s fine,” Xiao replied. “Why are you still working today anyways? It’s snowing really hard out there.”

“Who’s going to run the store if not me?” you laughed. “The boss offered me a pay raise if I stayed to attend the store today. Obviously, I can’t turn that offer down.”

Xiao gave a hum of acknowledgment. “I’ll drive you back to campus. It’s too dangerous for you to walk out there alone.”

His words caught you by surprise. Never would you have thought Xiao would be offering to drive you back to the dorms.

“How kind of you, thank you Xiao,” you said. “I’ll be closing down in maybe a couple minutes. Then we can go.”

Hail had slowly begun to mix in with the snow. The tiny ice fragments pattered against the window, creating a clicking sound. You began cleaning up— there wasn’t much to be done, but you still liked the store to be spotless before you leave. Setting the dried towel by the sink, you took off your apron and hung it in the back.

Xiao finished up his drink and threw the disposable cup away, making sure to grab napkins to wipe the table clean.

By the time he had cleaned his table, you were ready to leave. Xiao narrowed his eyes.

“Where’s your jacket?” he asked.

“Oh, I forgot mines,” you said, pushing open the door. You shivered at the cold blast of wind. “Left in a hurry this morning... ha-ha.”

Xiao bit down on his lips. “Can’t be helped,” he sighed, walking out the door.

You locked the store and flipped over the OPEN sign to CLOSED. “Let’s go,” you said. Your nose was already turning red.

“Here,” Xiao muttered, draping his jacket over you. “I… don’t want you to get sick.”

You felt your face heat up and your heart race. "I— thank you, Xiao.”

Xiao turned away and began walking towards his car. His heart was pounding mercilessly against his chest as he unlocked the door to his sleek black Toyota. You stood by him, snuggled up in his jacket, and stepped into the car when Xiao opened the door for you.

What a gentleman, you thought to yourself.

The car reverberated to life as Xiao turned the engine on, and with it, the heater was turned on too. A blast of warm air surrounded you, and your body relaxed, taking in the warmth.

You felt yourself slowly dozing off as Xiao drove through the storm. You weren’t even tired, perhaps it was the environment that had lulled you into a dreamlike state.

Time passed by slowly, and when Xiao had parked by your dorm, you were fast asleep. He almost didn’t want to wake you.

“Hey,” he whispered, nudging your shoulder.

“Five more minutes…” you mumbled, shrugging his hand away. “Five…”

He stifled a laugh. “We’ve arrived at your dorm. I think I see Lumine up there.”

You snapped open your eyes and sat up straight. “Where?!”

The laugh he had been keeping in bubbled out. You looked at him, eyes half lidded, confusion written all over your face.

“We’re at your dorm, let’s go, the storms getting worse,” Xiao said, getting out the car. He jogged over to the other side and opened the door before you could. “Careful there, the roads iced up.”

Your movements were sluggish as you got out from the car, grabbing onto Xiao for support. “Sorry,” you mumbled.

You felt Xiao wrap one arm around your waist to support your weight, slowly guiding you through the path and up the stairs to your dormitory. The harsh wind that slapped you in the face was enough of a wakeup call, and you fumbled to fish your keys out your pocket.

Pushing the key into the lock, you turned back to face Xiao— but he was already down the stairs by his car. He caught your eye, and you hastily gave him a wave before disappearing indoors, where the warmth awaited you. “Thank you,” you mouthed, and the door closed behind you.

Xiao stayed outside your dormitory for a little bit, watching the shadows of your friends engulfing you through the sheer curtains that fluttered around. An unmistakable feeling of heat rushed throughout his body, and he smiled to himself, then sneezed.

>>—<<

“Wait, wait, WAIT,” Lumine grabbed your sleeve and pushed you onto your bunk. “You got home awfully fast today, and whose jacket is that?”

Hutao walked out from the bathroom, a towel slung over her shoulders. “I think I’ve seen that jacket somewhere before.”

“Oh, wait isn’t that Xiao’s jacket?” Aether piped in, setting his headset aside and spinning around to face the two of you.

“That’s where I’ve seen it,” Hutao said with a snap of her fingers. “That emo guy that everyone seems to be obsessed with, I’ve seen him walking around campus several times in that same jacket.”

“That emo guy,” Aether repeated. “Isn’t he your cousin?”

“Did something happen between you and Xiao?” Lumine asked, eyes glittering with excitement.

You laughed nervously. “Well yeah, sort of? I mean, he drove me back here…”

Lumine’s eyes went wide open. “Now that’s a first. Oh, girl he definitely likes you.”

“He did it because it was snowing like crazy out there and I didn’t have a jacket with me!”

“Excuses,” Hutao snorted. “I can tell you that Xiao never lets anyone else in his car other than his close friends. I’ve asked him for a ride once and I had to beg for it, EVEN though we were cousins, and I still had to Uber back home.”

Lumine nodded. “Can confirm, I was there to witness it all.”

You shook your head. “There’s no way. Anyways! To celebrate me getting a pay raise, dinners on me tonight!”

“Wooo!” Hutao cheered, throwing on a thick puffer jacket. “Where are we off to?”

>>—<<

“Is he… sick?” Kazuha asked worriedly.

The boys gathered around Xiao’s bed, listening to his coughs and sniffles.

“Leave me be…” Xiao mumbled, pulling his blanket over his head.

“He definitely sounds sick," Heizou commented.

"This is what you get for not wearing a jacket out yesterday... I'd say it's well-deserved." Scaramouche snorted, tossing yet another packet of tissues at Xiao.

"He wasn't wearing a jacket?" Venti echoed, his loud voice traveling from the kitchen into Xiao's room. "Didn't he leave with a jacket though? The green and black one?"

Heizou raised a brow, one hand under his chin. A quizzical look appeared, followed by a know-it-all one. "I think I know where his jacket went," he said, a sly grin dancing on his lips.

"Get the fuck out of my room."

>>—<<

“Tao, whenever you’re able to, can you help me return this jacket to Xiao? I haven’t been able to find him anywhere,” you said, hanging up your bag. Xiao’s black and green jacket hung next to your school bag, a scent of fresh laundry within the fibers.

Hutao popped a piece of gum in her mouth and chewed loudly. “I honestly have no clue where he is. I can help you get in touch with the pests he hangs around though.”

“That’d be lovely,” you replied, shooting Tao a grateful smile.

>>—<<

“Hey Xiao.”

“…”

“Xiaooooo.”

Silence.

Venti sighed in defeat and turned away from Xiao’s room, instead plopping himself down on the couch. Kazuha hummed to himself as he stirred the giant bowl of batter he had in his arms— as far as Venti remembers, he was making chocolate chip cookies. A classic favorite among everyone.

Scaramouche was out of town, called back home for a family emergency. Heizou on the hand, had locked himself in one of the many study cubbies in the campus’s library to study for his upcoming exam. And Xiao— well, he’s passed out sick.

Venti sighed once again, bored out of his mind. He lazily opened up his phone and was greeted by a text from Xiao’s cousin: Hutao.

[5:14pm] Hutao >> u available rn?

>>—<<

“Hey! You must be Venti, right?” you asked, standing up from the park bench you were just sitting on moments ago.

“And you’re the girl that Xiao’s been fawning over I presume,” Venti replied, smiling.

“My name— wait what?”

“Oh, it’s nothing— hey that’s Xiao’s jacket!” Venti pointed to the black jacket draped over your arms. “Right?”

“Yeah, I was hoping you’d help me return this to him,” you said sheepishly.

Venti pressed his hand to his chest. “Oh, I would love to, but I think it’s best if you do it!”

Puzzled by his response, you ask, “Why?”

He sighed dramatically and collapsed onto the bench, feigning heartache. “Well you see, poor Xiao had locked himself up in his room, burning up a fever— and wants nothing to do with me at the moment. If I were to try and enter his room, I’m afraid I won’t see the light of day again.”

You blinked at Venti’s performance, slowly soaking in the information given. Does Xiao hate him? Why? You wanted to ask. “He’s sick?” was what came out your mouth instead.

“Terribly so.”

>>—<<

“Xiao?” you called out softly.

A shuffle was heard as the sickly student attempted to sit upright. You quickly entered the room and closed the door behind you, rushing over to Xiao’s side the moment the door clicked shut.

“Hey,” you said, smiling. “Hope you don’t mind the intrusion.”

Xiao blinked groggily, fighting against the sleep medication he had taken hours ago. “What are you”— he sneezed “doing here?”

“Came here to return your jacket,” you replied, draping his jacket over his pink gaming chair. An odd expression crossed your face, but you didn’t speak of it.

Xiao managed to sit upright despite being in absolute agony. His head throbbed painfully, an unfortunate side effect of his medication. You placed a hand over the small of his back and helped him ease into a more comfortable position. "Easy there Xiao..." you murmured. "Don't strain yourself too much."

"I'll be fine," he said. "You shouldn't be here— you know, with me being sick and all. You might get sick too."

A smile tugged at the corner of your lips. "You're the one here sick, and you're worried about me? Besides, I didn't see you for the past week and I miss your presence."

There was a tease in your voice, and Xiao caught it. Yet he couldn't control the way his heart sped up. He cleared his throat, adverting his body away from where you sat. Perhaps being sick isn't so bad after all, he could at least use the fever as an excuse as to why his face is burning a scarlet red.

You felt your smile grow bigger seeing his reaction. "Don't turn around now— we've known each other for so long now, it's weird being somewhere without you." You were confident, almost too confident with your words. But with graduation so close, you knew that there wasn't much time left for you to spill your feelings. It was like gambling, gambling time and memories away.

Outside, the sun began to dip below the horizon. Snow resting upon the frail branch of the young oak crumbled when a chunk of ice shattered against the trunk.

“Heizou!” the shrill voice of Venti shrieked.

Either you win, or you'll lose it all.

Xiao remained silent, unsure of how to process your words. He wanted to believe everything you said, but some part of himself won't allow him to. For all he knows, you could just be tugging on his heartstrings, playing it like a sick sort of a puppet show. But... he glanced at you. You weren't looking at him anymore, instead your attention was fixated on the scene happening outside his window.

The way the sunset created a golden aura around you made you look absolutely breathtaking, hitting all the right angles in all the right way. He didn't know there was a way for you to be any prettier than you already are. Would he have gotten to see you like this if he wasn't sick?

"Xiao." the seriousness laced with your tone made him tense up. You pushed yourself away from the window ledge and turned to face him. “Xiao,” you repeated. “Can I tell you something?”

Your heart was pounding. A year worth of buildup— he’s seen you at your worst, as you had seen him, how much longer are you able to hold it in for? There’s nothing you could really hide from this man; he was bound to find out about your crush sooner or later.

Xiao took in a deep breath. “Go on,” he croaked out. He wiped his sweaty palms on his blanket.

You bit the insides of your cheek. The words are at the tip of your tongue, but that’s the furthest they’re willing to go. “I— fuck I can’t say it,” you groaned, turning back to face the window.

"No," he said. "No, tell me."

That intense voice you knew all too familiar— now you know that there is no backing out. Xiao's stubbornness had been a constant pain in the ass for you, yet it was also a part of him that you found endearing.

"You promise this won't change anything?" you asked, voice small.

A creak followed by a shuffle, and you felt Xiao's arm wrap around your waist. His disheveled hair tickled against your cheek as he rests his head upon your shoulder. '"Nothing will change, I promise," he muttered.

Touch. In no way was this unusual for the two of you. But this time, it felt new. In this stifling environment, where the air was tense, everything feels unfamiliar. Xiao's touch felt unfamiliar. What if this ruins it all?

Fuck it.

"I really like you, you know that, Xiao?" you whispered.

Time seemed to freeze for a moment, and you felt your heart drop. This is it. The signs point to it all, it tells you that Xiao is the one, yet you can't help but think otherwise. Overthinking has always been a bad habit of yours.

After minutes of painful awkward silence (it was only a few seconds), Xiao replied. "I know."

"I really like you too, [name]. I've liked you since last year, since the moment I saw you on the field for the annual sports festival. And I fell deeper in love with you over the course of the year, seeing you around campus, at the cafe you worked— your very presence seems to bring comfort. I wanted to confess for so long, you know? But I didn't, I feared that it would've tampered with whatever we already had going on."

he paused to clear his throat.

"I like— no, I love you."

Through the window, the view of the night sky was in perfect sight. The stars above twinkled, and flashing by for just a second, was a shooting star.

Even the stars have spoken.

✩ ·┆ navigation

notes—

— the number of times i accidentally typed ‘ciao’ instead of ‘xiao’ is diabolical

#[💫] acaaai-t #astronetwrk #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin xiao #adeptus xiao #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #genshin impact xiao #xiao genshin impact #xiao fluff #xiao x y/n #xiao genshin x reader

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everybody-loves-purdy · 2 days

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With a bit of inference, Moth Flight’s Vision is an accidental tragedy about generational trauma.

Moth Flight’s Vision is a book which tries to justify the medicine cat abstinence rule, and it fails at this. This is mainly due to the exceptional circumstances Moth Flight was in when she gave up her kits. And obviously you have the fact she was a very young mother with four children in a time before a nursery system and when Moth Flight herself was also navigating being the first ever medicine cat. But I want to bring up another aspect of Moth Flight’s Vision that heavily influences our titular character’s decision to give up her children and bar all medicine cats from ever having mates or kits: Trauma.

And I want to stress that at no point so I think the Erins wanted to make this a story about trauma. But boy did they accidentally make a pretty compelling story about generational trauma. You need to squint a little though but trust me, it’s there. Accidentally put in the narrative like some of the best stuff in warrior cats often is.

So the trauma I am referring two comes from two cats in her life, her mother Wind Runner/ Windstar and her mate Micah.

So if we start with the former, Wind Runner at the start of Moth Flight’s Vision is very critical of Moth Flight. She has no patience for Moth Flight getting distracted and her lack of hunting skill, and voices how she dislikes Moth Flight’s lack of prey contribution to the clan, and frequently insults her and makes snide remarks to her. Such as you can see in just this one example.

All this leaves Moth Flight feeling inferior and feeling like she is wrong.

All this cumulates in an argument in which Wind Runner lists how irresponsible she believes Moth Flight to be tells Moth Flight she is a danger to her clan. And Moth Flight believes her, and runs away.

Now after this once Moth Flight returns as a medicine cat we don’t really get anything like this from Wind Runner again but the damage is done. Now here’s where the inference has to start coming in a bit. Who wouldn’t be left with a complex after this? Who wouldn’t be left with the need to prove themselves however they can? Moth Flight certainly sets out to please Wind Runner and prove she can be useful to her clan in the early part of the book when she’s receiving this abuse. So why would it just evaporate later when she actually finds something she’s good at and can be of great use to her clan doing? Just put a pin in that for a moment.

Also while we’re talking about Wind Runner; Moth Flight has a conversation with her dead siblings about how she wishes she could please Wind Runmer, which leads to her dead siblings saying that the reason Wind Runner is so harsh towards Moth Flight is because of the trauma she experienced when she lost her kits. Wind Runner’s trauma is ultimately what is causing her to inflict trauma onto Moth Flight.

And now we move onto the second inflicter of trauma in Moth Flight’s life: Micah. Don’t worry, unlike Wind Runner, Micah didn’t inflict any trauma on Moth Flight through his own actions. Unless you count dying in a tragic accident right in front of Moth Flight. In which case yeah, his actions did inflict trauma on her. At least it was an accident.

Micah’s death deeply traumatises Moth Flight. She cannot bear to be in WindClan due to it, she lives in ShadowClan for a moon, avoiding going home due to her grief, and then only travels back once she realises she is pregnant, and decides she wants to be with kin.

The stage is set. The Erins have a young cat set up about to have four kittens that she’s going to give away and change the medicine cat code forever. What they do not realise is that the trauma they have influenced on this character can most definitely be inferred to have an effect on her actions surrounding her children from this point forward, ultimately being perceived as a large push as to why she gives them up.

The book wants us to believe that she gives up her kittens because it is just inherently impossible to be a medicine cat and have mates and children. Which isn’t true as cats such as Leafpool and Yellowfang have since proven wrong. And obviously there are the exceptional circumstances Moth Flight herself has been subjected to during this period. But her trauma can also be perceived to pay a huge part in her feeling like she cannot balance her duties and her children.

To start off with. The first moon of her kits life is fine. Moth Flight steps back from medicine cat duties and lets the very knowledgeable Reed Tail take primary healer duties for the clan. The book skips over the first moon with her kits and therefore we can assume nothing important happens, and no issues come from Moth Flight raising her kits for this first moon. Moth Flight does reflect that how she did on occasion try and do checkups but her kits always called her away. And here, while Moth Flight is reflecting on this, we get this paragraph:

So here we learn two things:

She feels ready to stop having Reed Tail help her when her kits are a moon and a half (6 weeks) old.

Moth Flight does not want to let go of her kits for any amount of time. She equates Slate saying that she can leave the kits for short periods to them not having a mother figure in their lives. And she thinks her kits can only receive adequate love from her.

So with point 1, Moth Flight’s kittens are still little babies. And she feels that she should go back to being a full time medicine cat when they’re still that young despite having Reed Tail to hold the fort, and dismissing him as her helper entirely after this point. And here I’m going to bring back the idea of inference. I feel that this could stem from Wind Runner’s abuse at the start of the book. Wind Runner left her daughter feeling so compelled to be useful to her clan that she’s throwing herself back into her work far too early in order to keep her mother happy and be of use to the clan in the only way Moth Flight feels she can be. Is any of this written in the book? Hell no. But I feel that you can absolutely infer that Moth Flight’s drive to get back to work so soon is due to the lasting trauma and insecurities her mother had imposed on her.

Point 2 is a lot to unpack and here, and this is a point that comes up again, how Moth Flight feels compelled to take care of her kits personally rather than hand them off to babysitters due to their lack of a living father.

So if we use some of that inference here, we can infer that Micah’s death has left Moth Flight insecure about leaving her children alone. She feels that she is the only one who can properly take care of them in her clan. And, undoubtedly by accident, this idea comes back. There are two incidents with her leaving her kits to be babysat and irresponsible babysitting causes the kits to get hurt. The first is where she goes to a gathering and Rocky encourages three of the kits to climb a rock but tells the fourth she’s not ready. So the very next day she climbs the rock. She falls, she gets hurt. And not once does Moth Flight get angry at Rocky for encouraging her children to climb a big rock, oh no, she blames herself.

There isn’t one second where she thinks about how it’s Rocky’s fault this situation arose. She entirely blames herself for it, and the situation is never even discussed with Rocky.

And then something similar happens later on. Storm Pelt is supposed to be watching the kits while Moth Flight goes to RiverClan. And then all four kits end up following her and one of them falls in the river. She doesn’t blame Storm Pelt for any of this. She doesn’t have a single word of blame to say to him about him allowing all four of her children to follow her to RiverClan. And from that we can infer (even though again, the book doesn’t say) she feels the blame lies with herself. This inference can be strengthened given that this is the incident which causes her to feel she should give up her kits.

On top of her feeling wholly responsible for her kits at all times no matter who is looking after them, the main other way they distract her from her medicine cat duties is when she suddenly becomes paranoid that some horrible tragedy has befallen them while she isn’t watching them. And I think all of this paranoia and heightened sense of responsibility regarding her kits all comes down to Micah.

He died traumatically in front of her eyes. She feels extra protective of her children because they no longer have a father. And we can infer that her paranoia of them meeting a gruesome fate has come from her witnessing the painful death of her beloved Micah.

And where does this leave us? All this trauma stemming from both her mother and beloved? Well, Moth Flight decrees that medicine cats must not have mates or kits. She then inflicts trauma onto her own children by separating them and forcing them all to live apart. The trauma that Wind Runner and Moth Flight experienced can now be inferred to have trickled down to both Moth Flight’s kits, and many, many medicine cats for decades to come. The book wants you to believe this is because kits can distract from medicine cat duties, that they can pull a medicine cat away from important duties. But that only happens in Moth Flight’s Vision due to poor babysitters or mainly Moth Flight becoming paranoid that her kits are going to die horribly like their father once they’re out of her sight.

Is this all a stretch? Absolutely. I have no doubt this was absolutely not the intention of the Erins at all. But in the words of Todd Chavez:

Isn’t the point of art less what people put into it and more of what people get out of it?

And thats what I get out of Moth Flight’s Vision. A story about how tragic trauma can be, not only for an individual, but also for others if it becomes generational.

#moth flight #Windstar #wind runner #abuse tw #trauma tw

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doctorcurdlejr · 1 day

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Niko!! what'd you think of I saw the tv glow. I finally saw it last night and noticed you posting about it so I wanted to know your thoughts :)

Levi!!! I was JUST wondering what you were thinking about the movie after I saw you posting about it as well... we are so media discussion pilled in this way, it's awesome. ANYWAYS I've had so many thoughts since I first saw it and I've been trying to turn them into something coherent for a little bit now.

Ummm okay I have written 1k+ words about this movie, the suburbs, and escapism via teen TV.... clearly I was dying for somebody to ask this I guess so thank you for indulging me <3

First and foremost, I absolutely loved it! I've seen it twice now and the first time I watched it I got to see Jane Schoenbrun talk about the film right after. I already really liked it from that first watch alone. I found it so deeply relatable to my experiences - both in terms of growing up gay and trans, but where I am now in my 20s trying to navigate adulthood. Hearing what Schoenbrun had to say really cemented my feelings and thoughts about the film.

During the director discussion, Schoenbrun talked a little bit about this idea of how truly fucking bizarre it is to grow up in the suburbs. Like, when we think about the pinnacle of normality in American culture, it's the image of middle-class cis-hetero-white suburbia. At the same time, despite this cultural dream of normality, everybody is hyper-aware that the suburbs are one of the least normal things ever. So, the ACTUAL cultural understanding of it is that it's where we go to, like, passively kill ourselves (*George Costanza voice* WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY YOU KNOW!).

This idea isn't new, I mean there are so many films and shows about navigating that specific bizarre dissonance from Rebel Without a Cause to Heathers to Twin Peaks. Probably half the pre-teen to teen TV I watched obsessively growing up, stuff like Strange Days at Blake Holsey High, Making Fiends, Truth or Scare, and eventually Riverdale, were never shy about being weird and morbid and saying "yes, the suburbs are exactly as bizarre and lethal in the ways you can already feel in your bones at 13." I Saw the TV Glow does a really good job of keying not only into that mental dissonance but more specifically into how those of us who have felt so intrinsically weird and different and wrong fell back on these shows like they were capable of doing the emotional version of a rescue breath maneuver after being drowned.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a big influence on the movie (it's why Amber Benson makes a cameo as Johnny Link's mom). Even though I don't have the same emotional link to Buffy since I never watched it, I recognize it as the same type of warmth I experienced growing up with Riverdale. When Owen says he feels like his insides have been scooped out but that he's too afraid to look and have that wrongness everybody knows is there be confirmed, Maddy simply responds "Maybe you're like Isabel. Afraid of what's inside you." Tears forming but not falling, breathing shallowly, I grabbed the paper and pen the theater keeps at the seats for people to order food with and wrote that line down - the slip of paper is still somewhere in my car. Writing it now almost feels lame in its simplicity, but it felt like my insides were being flayed open.

In high school, if there were two things about me that any person who even vaguely knew me could list off it was that I watched Riverdale, and I was a lesbian - and I was mocked more for the Riverdale. At that age, I was, without a doubt, the most miserable I have ever felt in my life. I rarely left the house because my family lived in a development that made me want to scratch my skin off when I walked out our front door. Owen didn't leave the house for days, afraid Maddy could somehow force him out. I sobbed constantly and frequently to depressing indie rock on the floor of my closet while hoping my family would just once read the (honest to god) KEEP OUT poster plastered on my door since I didn't have a lock on it. Owen didn't leave his room for days, afraid of what Maddy recognized in him. I didn't go on dates and kept my chest binder shoved to the bottom of my bookbag while wearing dresses that could've come from a how-to-be the perfect 50s housewife manual. Owen didn't leave his bed for days, afraid of Maddy touching his neck and Isabel's dress. I also watched Riverdale with the kind of zeal you see in a Pentecostal who has found God and started speaking in tongues to let you know it. I own a button that says, "Don't Make Me Go Dark Betty On You," I cherish it in a way that is only achieved by knowing exactly how corny and trite it is and then moving straight past that because well actually, and most people wouldn't get this, she's holding back something deeply dark and wild and- and disgusting. something painful yet intrinsically her. but i get it, obviously. or maybe not obviously! hopefully not obviously, but- basically, I'm just saying I get it: the experience of reflection and recognition through the other and all that.

Whatever, the point is that this movie is one big glaring trans allegory about how it sucks dog shit to live in the suburbs, and even at our most repressed we find these little snow globes of actualization in the glow of a tv screen that isn't afraid to show you the world you see. I've seen some people say that, like, in this context accepting or coming into your transness is this monumental death of self, which I get, but I feel there lacks a nuance in that. Unlike Maddy who buries herself alive, Owen doesn't kill himself upon facing the reality that the world is constructed to keep him miserable; the only way out being to take back what it is that the world wants to keep scooped out of him. This lack of suicide sucks in the kind of way that forces you to sit in your car on the midnight drive home and think to yourself am I letting myself suffocate because at some point knowing the misery became less scary than admitting I've been capable of doing something about it the whole time?

Maddy is an out lesbian who left town to escape the misery and found it strapped to her ankles. She slinks out, an animal pressed against the gymnasium floor, and says "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know." Owen looks into the camera and narrates. He cuts himself open with a box cutter, fully acknowledges what's there, and the movie ends with his suffocating apology parade for the unnoticeable inconvenience of his excruciating suffering. You can be gay and trans, you can know it and you can stop repressing it, but you're not going to stop suffocating until you can find a way to kill the part of you that truly deeply does want to die, reaching for the comforting euthanasia of normalcy. Stop visiting the dream of the life you want and make it into your reality with the same kind of unrepentant conviction seen in some underfunded but wildly ambitious teen television series. In other words: you must survive the ego death of being weird. A weirdo, who doesn't fit in and doesn't want to fit in!

Clearly, I’ve been enchanted by the film’s narrative and meta-textual language. If you're familiar with it, you can see how Schoenbrun built this movie like a long-form dream episode of a canceled teen show filmed in Vancouver. Lynchian? Yeah, sure. Riverdalesque? THIS we cannot possibly deny. Schoenbrun said they included Amber Benson as an act of healing the inner rage experienced at Tara’s death in Buffy. This is a Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa ending Riverdale with a bisexual polycule after his gay Archie play got ceased-and-desisted type move. There’s probably more I could say about the soundtrack and the visuals, but I’ve hit over 1k words on this, so I’ll leave it at I enjoyed this movie a lot. :)

#i saw the tv glow #riverdale #< the sister tag to me talking about this movie at this rate...#i saw the tv glow spoilers #asks

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vinillain · 2 hours

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Great wave spoilers//

WHATTATTATATATT

THE TONE SHIFT WAS CRAZYYYY

I love these two and the newly weds paralleling each other. Maybe I’m reaching but they literally look like genderbend Amalia and Yugo (THE SAME PONYTAIL??) I also feel absolutely awful for them because considering the high tensions and that they are the first official now married Elia-Sadida couple besides their king and queen they have a TON of pressure on them that rides on their relationship.

(I saw a hc that they met on the battle field which is soooo cute… the war is tearing both sides apart but it brought them together 🥺)

I feel so bad though, this poor Eliatrope who’s lost her parents in a war, been stuck in a timeless dimension for 10k+ years- gets out to be apart of this elite squad and then loses her family AGAIN+ all the younger siblings she spent so much time with. Falls in love and gets to be happy but has to represent her people and the ties, I imagine she has a lot of weight on her shoulders. (side eyes Yugo)

And on top of that she watches her king who she and the few of her people that are left rely on get poisoned, likely by the very same people she has to live among every day. Next to her husband 😭😭😭 I LOVE that last shot with them at the other end of the table paralleling Amalia and Yugo. I feel soooooo bad for her. Just when things were going smoothly too :(

Also this is weird but I genuinely like Aurora?? She’s a total b*tch but her crazy jumps in logic and genuine narcissism and insanity infatuate me. While I’m sure she might have some sympathetic traits she works a lot better as an antagonist when you aren’t trying to look for a sympathetic villain. She looked at this wedding and immediately made it about herself. “Armand wouldn’t have” BABE… Armand might not have but he would not be acting the way you are 😭😭Honestly I like this direction?? Maybe that’s just me but it’s fun to see her character get explored and not just be… there. Sitting next to her husband forever and not being allowed to speak.

I actively want to see her downfall but I hope it’s really fun. She’s so self centered but it works so well. A but like Azula from avatar, I feel like she’s going to grow worse over time and do crazier and crazier things until she’s completely lost it. And I am so here for it.

It seems like the pregnancy is genuine. There’s always a possibility she’s lying or there’s another factor we won’t see until later. But until now it does seem somewhat real. And I don’t think they (or at least Aurora) had a hand in poisoning Yugo. Since Osa says “Let them enjoy this last party.” But that could also have been a last as in “I’m going to kill them-take them out” it’s been said but it’s likely Amalia will accuse Aurora since she’s the “outsider” and the most suspicious at the moment. And Aur might be hurt by this since she lost her husband too. Etc.

“Wow maybe royal duties aren’t always so b-“ and then he immediately throws up blood.

Poor Yu 😭😭 I’m wondering if Amalia’s drink was poisoned too. She didn’t sniff it or anything, maybe she just got the feeling something was wrong? (Sheram Sham intuition) I feel soooo awful for her. I honestly can’t blame her for immedietly freaking out, she’s lost so much. All of her family is gone and after a long stressful day with Yugo’s nightmare, the arguments, Aurora showing up and having to manage an entire very important wedding with high tensions, seeing the love of her life and really her only family get sick with a possibility of death right before her eyes is terrifying.

These two really can’t catch a break (and this all happened in ONE day)

Anyway considering how slow the last few chapters have been the build off is definitely paying off. On the edge of my seat for next week (hoping for some Yumalia comfort :,)

Wip for a piece “to Poison a god” ;)

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farahtissaiamyloves · 2 days

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Hi. Could you please write Lady Lesso x (student)reader(She's 18)?

It's Lesso's birthday, but she doesn't really like it and she's in a bad mood. Reader somehow finds out that today is Lesso's birthday and decides to surprise her, because she has a crush on her. She prepared a gift and a firecracker with confetti and glitter, taking it all with her to class, so she can surprise her right after class. But the firecracker goes off too early and showers Lesso with confetti and glitter, she gets angry, thinking it's some sort of prank. Of course, Lesso decides to send reader to the doom room, and reader somehow have to explain to her that it wasn't a prank and all.

Surprise gone wrong?

Lady Lesso x reader

I'm sorry for not updating for a long time. I finally found time to write again so here we go. This amazing request was waiting for me for a long time, and I finally seized the opportunity and wrote it. Sorry, for the long wait. Hope you are all doing great!

Ps: it's my name day!!!!

You were at your final year at the school for evil.

You never meant to overhear the Dean of Good talking with one of her colleagues.

Students were forbidden to be walking around the lake at such a late hour, yet here you were studying and mostly admiring all the different stars and magnificent constellations.

You hid and held your breath. The last thing you wanted was to gain detention.

But then again...

Detention with Lady Lesso wasn't such a bad idea...

"You see, Anemone, Lesso's birthday is coming up, and we happen to have already arranged our monthly meeting that day." Dovey spoke with a highly annoyed tone.

Your eyes widened as you processed the newfound information. When?

"Really? Oh dear, she will be more than a handful..." Came Anemone's reply as you continued spying on them with sparkling eyes.

So, Lady Lesso's, your crush's birthday was coming up. You could surprise her! Show her how much you value all her hard work and determination.

You silently squeeled, already thinking of all the ways you could make her day.

"I know! Right? We won't have any work done because of that whining.... vixen." You raised an eyebrow at Dovey's failing attempt to curse your Dean.

You heard Anemone sigh. "And when will we waste our entire day?" Anemone asked, referring to when the meeting will take place.

"Next Thursday. I simply cannot wait!" The good Dean spoke sarcastically.

You rolled your eyes at the way they were referring to Lady Lesso, but deep down, you were feeling beyond happy. You couldn't wait for next Thursday.

꧁☾︎❥︎☽︎꧂

The day has finally come. You couldn't put your excitement into words. It was the day you were looking forward to since you overheard Dovey.

You were beaming awaiting for the class with Lady Lesso to come.

When the time was right, you went into the classroom a quarter earlier to do the needed preparations.

You knew that Lady Lesso always came from ten to five minutes beforehand to stare daggers at everyone who came into the classroom.

The firecracker was set and ready, and you had your gift inside your backpack. Your plan was to surprise her first, wish her happy birthday, and then pull out her gift to show her.

You couldn't wait to give her your gift, you were a little nervous but you were confident that she was going to like it.

You heard her heels clicking against the floor and giggled in excitedly. You couldn't wait for your little surprise to unfold.

You stood next to the firecracker, which meant to shower the ground in front of her with pink glitter and black confetti.

Lady Lesso marched inside the room at a faster pace than the one you anticipated. Your eyes widened as you were unable to stop the firecracker before being activated.

You stood and watched in horror as the Dean of Evil was showered from head yo tow with your glitter and confetti.

"Surprise." You spoke in shock as you were gazing at her.

The Dean had the exact position and grimace of a cat being thrown water.

She slowly opened her eyes, looked down at her ruined clothes, and up to you.

"What's the meaning of this?" She snapped at you.

You gulped as you noticed her state. "I- I am sorry. I didn't-" You started apologizing.

"Save it." She cut you off and grabbed your arm.

Your eyes widened as the Dean dragged you out of the classroom.

"La- lady Lesso. I can explain." You trembled.

Instead of answering, she pushed you in front of her violently and grabbed your arm again, leading you to the Doom Room.

"Everything but this place. Please." You begged, feeling really scared. You just meant to surprise her.

You briefly looked up at her only to see her furious face. Why was she so angry with you? Couldn't she clean her clothes with magic?

She pushed the door open and pulled you inside. You fell to the ground due to the force and turned to look at her with pleading eyes.

Lesso returned your gaze with an angry and cold one. "Forget class. You shall wait here for me for your proper punishment."

Lesso shut the door and locked it behind her.

You shakily got up and walked to the chair. You sat down and started crying. This was supposed to be a happy day. Couldn't she just use her mind and understand that the confetti was for her birthday?

You sighed as you were left alone with your thoughts. You were disappointed in yourself for ruining such a well-planned surprise and sad because instead of making her feel happy and appreciated, she was feeling furious and sad.

You cried a little bit, realizing that you won't get to give her your gift... All of those hours of preparing the surprise and searching the perfect gift were in vain.

Not just in vain, but they'll probably get you tortured well. You didn't want to be tortured, not for something that you didn't deserve, at least.

You didn't notice the door opened until a cold voice was heard. "Such a polite girl.... She's even trying to make her torture enjoyable.... for me." Lesso's words were accompanied by a chuckle. You knew she was referring to the fact that you were seated on the chair.

You immediately got up and took a deep breath. "I had no ill intentions." You declared.

Lady Lesso smirked, closing the door behind her and walking inside the room. "Oh, I'm sure you don't.... Nobody has in here." She mocked you.

You swallowed hard. Of course, everybody would lie to get themselves out of here. "I'm not everything, Lady Lesso. I never caused trouble in the past. Why would I do it now?" You inquired in a desperate attempt to prove your innocence.

The dean chuckled coldly as she stood in front of her torturing equipment. "There's always a first time for everything, little brat."

You took a deep, shaky breath. Your hands had become sweaty, and your eyes teary. "Can I, at least,... try to explain myself?" You hesitantly asked.

The Dean took a big whip from her collection and sighed. "If you stop acting like a little baby, afterward, then I guess you can certainly.... try to change my mind."

You nodded shakily as she turned around and showed you the whip. "I- I learned that today was your birthday, and I meant to surprise you. The firecracker never meant to wash you with either glitter or confetti. It just meant to surprise you." You explained.

Lesso raised a single perfect eyebrow. "And supposing my birthday was today... How did you learn about that?" She voice a very smart and calculated question.

You bited your lip. You were just going to make your torture worst, perfect. "I was just studying some astrology a week ago, at the lake, when I overheard Professor Dovey and Professor Anemone talking about a meeting happening at your birthday. I wish to reveal no more."

Lady Lesso thought about what you just told her. In was in fact true that there was both a meeting today and her birthday. She also knew that students weren't informed about those kinds of events...

The Dean looked down at the whip, then back to you. "Why the firecracker, then?"

You scratched your head. "That's what they do on birthdays."

Lesso sighed, turning around to put the whip back to its place. She didn't know whether she was disappointed for not conducting the torture or relieved because her favorite student didn't mean to stab her in the back.

"Such a cruel way to torment someone." The woman commented with gritted teeth.

"It didn't mean to fire on you, but in front of you. I'm deeply sorry, Lady Lesso. I never meant to make you furious." You apologized.

The Dean turned to look at you, only with her can in her hands. She sighed. "You did not mean ill, in the end. I'm glad."

You titled your head. "You are?"

Lady Lesso approached you with a sad small. She patted your head and then caressed it. "I am.... You didn't have to make such a big deal out of it, though."

You smiled, looking up at her. You didn't pull away from her grip. "Why not? It's your special day! You should enjoy it!"

Lesso shook her head and sighed. "No, no, I shouldn't. And you shouldn't either. Where's the good with completing another lonely, annoying, and boring year of your life?"

You pouted at her. "Don't say that, Lady Lesso, you have me."

The woman chuckled, patting your head. "That's not what I meant, and you know that."

You swallowed hard. Here goes nothing. "I. I know what you meant." You spoke, biting your lower lip.

Leonora's eyes widened as she looked down on you. Her piercing gaze remained on you as she processed your words. "No." She whispered.

You hesitantly nodded. "Yes."

The Dean took her eyes away from you before returning back to you pretty quickly. "You are lying."

You shook your head. "I had gotten you a gift, too. It's in my bag."

The Dean's eyes widened. "A gift!?"

You nodded. "Yes, if you want it. I think you will like it." You spoke with a smile.

Leonora Lesso was speechless. Firstly, her student admitted on liking her, and now this very same student has bought her a gift.

The Dean bited the inside of her cheek. "How much did it cost?" She meant to repay you.

You shook your head. "It's a gift for now, and it shall remain like one."

The Dean cursed. "What is it?"

You smirked at her and shrugged. "Only one way to find out, professor."

The Dean gave you a stern glance. "Why are you doing this? What do you wish in return?"

You looked up at her smiling. "Making you feel appreciated and cared for."

Leonora's eyes widened in shock. For the first time in a long while, she was truly speechless. She didn't know what she awaited you to say, but definitely not this. Not this, and definitely not with such happiness.

You stood up, standing in front of her. "Wanna open your gift?"

The woman looked at you for a second before blinking to bring herself back to reality.

"I- I guess." The Dean surrendered without a fight.

Nobody had ever gotten her a gift without waiting for something in exchange, and it made her feel... warm.

You walked outside of the room with the woman behind you. You led her to her classroom before taking your bag and opening it.

You pulled out a black box with a golden ribbon.

"Happy birthday, Lady Lesso." You said enthusiastically, handing her her present.

The Dean took the box and examined it. It was a pretty box in nice colors. Lady Lesso hummed, feeling pleased with the box as she slowly pulled it open.

Her eyes widened when she saw the matching cravat and gloves with the color of the box and ribbon.

The Dean touched them both in awe. They were so beautiful and precisely her style.

"So.... Do you like it?" You asked, examining her reaction.

Leonora looked up at you with a genuine smile. Her eyes were teary as she wanted to cry due to your thoughtful action. "I do. I guess a thank you is necessary."

You smiled back at her. It was the first time you saw her so happy. "You are very welcome, Lady Lesso."

The woman nodded and took a glove in her hands, and she caressed it, enjoying the feeling of leather against her fingers. "Call me Leonora when nobody is around."

Your eyes sparkled. Really? She liked it that much. It was your lucky day! Maybe you even stood a chance with her in the future.

The Dean glanced at you. "I believe this is the beginning of something wonderful."

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