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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years

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Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good, the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #ocean eyes

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dawniebb · 4 years

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Face reveal bc yes

So, guys...especially from the Renegades fandom bc i’m the most active there: you saw the title lmao. This will...barely get notes (i wonder if it’ll get notes at all) buuUUUT YEAH LET’S GOOOO (If you’re gonna reblog pls be respectful bc i have issues and btw reblog ONLY if we are mutuals)

THIS IS ME! <3 HELLOOOO!!!

Now, if you want to stop here, do it. If you don’t...well

I’m going to tell you a story about myself and why I decided to post this.

First of all, I’m not celebrating anything. I’m just celebrating me, I guess (?) and in fact I’ve been wanting to do this since my parents got me a She-Ra cake for my 20th birthday back in May, because I loved that thing and felt the physical need to shove that thing into everyone’s faces But I didn’t because I didn’t feel ready enough...then that thought left my mind, and it came back like two weeks ago.

I’ve had mental issues since I was in like...elementary school. I’m sure I had felt depressed before I turned 12; however, the first memory I hold of feeling so, it’s when I was already 12. Because it was then when I realized that I wasn’t just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to make friends xd To this day, I genuinely feel like I was suffering from isolation bullying; you know xd my classmates purposely excluded me from activities, they would find any excuse for not letting me join their work teams and stuff like that; during my last year at elementary school, I only had like one friend, and that one friend and I shared a sort of abusive/toxic relationship, as in: manipulation, “we’re best friends. you should only talk to ME”, and then this friend turned her back at me too, because she decided to join the rest of the group and ignore me.

lol.

And I remember wondering what was I doing wrong. Like, why didn’t people like me; why didn’t they want to hang out with me; why did everyone seem to have friends except me. And then I got trapped into a very...dark place, and I remember being overthinking one day, because I tend to overthink a lot...and I remembered this specific kid who was in the same class as me.

I was in the line for the teacher to check my homework, and this kid, a boy, was behind me.

You see. I’ve always been chubby xd I don’t think I’ve ever been skinny since I was 2 years old or so, because by the time I was in kindergarten my classmates’ moms were already calling me a ‘little meatball’ thinking it was a fucking adorable nickname because Mexican moms can be pretty shitty sometimes don’t let the media stereotypes fool you not all of them are all cheerful and upbeat and when I was in elementary school, for some reason, besides being chubby, I had a really bad posture. And this boy who was behind me started imitating my way of walking and his friends were laughing, so I turned around and asked him wtf his problem was xd and he turned around to his friends and asked “Do you see how hunchback she is?” like I wasn’t even there xd and I genuinely tried to slap him but I couldn’t, and he said “Yo, stop moving because you’re going to cause an earthquake”

And my mom has always felt personally attacked for the fact I’m...u know, fat. She has always been very insistent on the fact I need to lose weight and stuff like that. And her, mixed with my experiences at school, made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

But my mind started saying things like “And u know why you aren’t enough? Because you’re fat”

Because, like, the day of the hunchback insult, when I told the teacher, who was a very shitty teacher btw but i’m not talking about her again today (i’ve already talked about her in MANY of my university papers, because I’m studying to be an English teacher), she turned around at him and said “Don’t listen to HER” and to this day I still don’t know why xd

But it made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Because I was fat.

Lol x2.

To this day, I still don’t know if I have an ED. Like, I genuinely don’t know. But I can safely say that, if I have one, it’s more likely BED... because, through the years, I managed to lose weight when I turned like 15 and I had my quinceañera party, but then first year of high school came and I had a relapse into depression...like, this might come off as a very unpopular opinion, but junior high school was dope for me x’d I remember it as one of the best years in my life, right after my second and third year in high school (high school in Mexico lasts only three years) and so...when I started my first year in high school and got fucking depressed again, I gained ALL that weight back, and even doubled it. During my second year of high school, I met my friends. The friends I still keep with me to this day. And they accepted me like the fucking train wreck I was, failing math like three times in a row and crying about it every single one of those times because I’m pretty sure I have dyscalculia but my parents won’t listen to me they think i’m just lazy when it comes to math even though they know i cant even read a fucking clock . And them, along with my another very close friend who I met via fanfction when I was 12, helped me go through it. Like, I did have some issues with my body during high school, but not as much as you would expect. They were getting pretty bad in my first and second semester, but during the other four my friends managed to stop me from losing my mind, even when it all went to shit in my third year again for different reasons.

Then I graduated from high school, and I made friends there too. Although my best friends are still my friend from fanfiction, my friends from high school and just one of my university friends. And you know...I was left...pretty scarred from the shit that happened during third year of high school, and even if I didn’t feel like I was *that* depressed, I did gain a lot of weight.

Like, the highest I’ve ever been. Then my dad got sick during October from last year, then my two doggies were murdered god i fucking hate my neighbors the same day my dad was released from the hospital and my mom went kinda nuts during December and I wanted to just...yeah.

So I did a lot of emotional eating. Like, y’all don’t understand.

It was like...I would go to uni and eat a brownie. Then chocolates on my way home. THEN a “a snack” like...fucking rice krispies. Then a huge ass meal, with soda bc why not. Then I would have either cookies or hot cheetos as a treat after my huge ass meal,

I’m a short person xd carrying that much weight was making my ribs and back hurt, as well as my legs and feet; my breathing was freaking awful, and there were some days were I got SO paranoid I just said things like “i’m gonna die today” or “out here trying to get diabetes like the rest of your family, aren’t you??” :’) but i didn’t tell anybody. My parents are not really an option in this case, BUT I didn’t tell my friends, because then I would have to explain that I ate a lot and that was something I was EXTREMELY ashamed of.

When February came, I was scared of going out, because I knew I would have to choose what clothes to wear and nothing fit me anymore and, the things that did, looked super stretched on me and, u know, I was sore. My health was getting bad. But I didn’t like to feel that way.

AND I MUST CLARIFY HERE. I’M WORKING ON THAT. I’M ACTUALLY A BODY POSITIVY DEFENDER, I JUST DIDN’T LIKE HOW *I* LOOKED AND, BESIDES, I WAS GETTING SICK. I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT. I’M NOT SAYING BEING FAT OR CHUBBY IS DISGUSTING. NO. I BELIEVE ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL. AND IF I’M WRITING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW RECOVERY IS DISGUSTING AND DIFFICULT SOMETIMES AND THAT IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT: I’M SORRY. NOBODY SHOULD EVER FEEL LIKE THAT. I SUPPORT YOU. AND I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER. AND NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE TO CHANGE ONLY IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE. BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BODY. KEEP HOLDING ON.

But going back to the story...

My friends used to tell me I looked pretty all the time, which I appreciate a lot to this day. But my parents were like

Me: I’m fat and I look deformed.

Them: I agree.

Because yeah.

Just before the pandemic madness happened, I went on a school trip with my uni friends and one of them triggered my isolation trauma in the worst way possible...and that, somehow, ruined ALL the photos I took throughout the trip. Because I wasn’t enough. Because I was deformed and fat and I looked like an apple. Because nobody wanted to be seen near me. And my personality was shitty.

Like, I should’ve known I was worth it. I’m still worth it and I know that. But I wasn’t less worth it when I was chubbier. And maybe I didn’t look as bad as my head made me believe. But at the time my mental health was extremely awful.

Now, covid happened.

Not gonna lie. Quarantine fucked me up as much as it fucked everyone else, but for me...by not going out, I stopped being near trigger foods, and I was even able to consult a dietitian.

I’ve lost 15 kg since March. And I’ve managed to love my past self, but I love this one because changing it was my decision. Sure, my parents didn’t help a lot, but in the end it was MY decision. I’ve come to accept I was worth it even when I felt disgusted by myself, and all of those awful things people said or did to me, like my friend during that trip...

I didn’t deserve any of those things. Because NO ONE deserves to be treated that way. No one deserves somebody else making fun of them. No one deserves somebody else doing awful things to them that they know damn well that they trigger their childhood trauma. No one deserves to be judged for the way they look.

I was in a very dark place, and sometimes I’m still inside there. And like...during all those times, I kept posting in here.

I remember being next to my dad in the hospital, telling him “Guess what? Supernova drops this week” or “We’re going to watch TDP together, right?” or “Let me talk to you about She-Ra...” ....those were things that like...saved my life for a while, though mostly Supernova. Because, actually, Marissa Meyer has helped me in my fucking darkest years x’d from my third year of high school until now.

Her books didn’t take my depression away, but they did make things a little lighter for me, even when I felt like dying.

And I know this fandom is like..full of minors, so...I don’t know if any of you need to hear this: But you’re worth it.

If you want to change anything in your body, do it because YOU want to.

Because YOU’LL like you better.

Because it’s YOUR body, and it’s the only part of yourself that you and other people can touch.

Nobody should ever tell you you’re worthless because of your weight and your physical appearance. And if they ever do, then they’re the ones who should apologize, not you.

Nobody has the right to mistreat you, abuse you, or use your own body against you.

As for me...my ribs don’t hurt anymore. Nor does my back or my feet, and my breathing is getting better; I took the conscious decision to lose weight but, like I said, now that I’m not in such a dark place, I’m staring to realize that the past me wasn’t as hideous as my mind was making me believe. She was okay; she was broken inside, but she didn’t deserve anything that happened to her, nor did she deserved to treat herself that badly.

I posted my photo just to celebrate that I can finally said I’m not disgusted anymore. I can finally see myself in pictures again. And see my own reflection. Or go through my closet. Or do my makeup, because I LOVE doing my makeup and I was even ashamed of that. I’m not fully okay yet, but I’m healing.

So, if there’s any little Dawnie around here: I hope you give yourself a chance and realize you’re beautiful.

I hope that, if you change, it’s because you wanted to do it.

I hope you know that it’ll get better even if the healing process it’s not that easy.

I hope you know there’s people who love you.

I hope you know that you are beautiful. You were always beautiful and, no matter what path you choose, you’ll always be beautiful.

And worth it.

And human.

And important.

Take care of yourself, because you’re wonderful, no matter your size <3

#personal #VERY PERSONAL LMAO DAWN WHAT HAPPENED THERE U OK?#tw: eating disorders mention #TRIGGER WARNING EATING DISORDER MENTIONS #tw: depression #TRIGGER WARNING DEPRESSION #face reveal #and im gonna tag this bc yes #renegades trilogy #marissa meyer #renegades #archenemies #supernova #also TW: BULLYING

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sczrhead · 4 years

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heather

The song heather has been on repeat while I’ve been driving for weeks now and I finally decided todo something about it. So I wrote up this quick fic, I kinda ended it abruptly and I didn’t edit it at all, however Draco and Harry are in love so what more could you want? You cant ask more of me!!

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Draco could hear Harry's heavy steps come pounding down the stairs of the eighth year dormitories. He saw him pause at the bottom of the stairs and looked around the common room and grinned when he saw Draco sitting by the fire. He came over and crouched down next to him.

"Hey Draco! Are you coming to Hogsmeade with us?" Harry asked, a huge grin on his face.

Draco felt his cheeks get hot at the premise of being included "I'd love to but none of my sweaters are clean and it's really cold outside right now. I'm just gonna do my homework today, Har."

Harry frowned and stood up, "Here gimme one second!" He turned around and dashed up to their dorm again.

Draco smiled watching him and waiting for him to come back down with whatever plan he has come up within seconds. When he did Harry had a bunch of gold and scarlet in his arms. He held it out when he got to Draco and he could feel heat rising again.

It was Harry's Quidditch sweater, with Potter and the number 7 on the back of the shirt. It looked a little wrinkled but Draco could hardly mind. It was Harry's sweater, and it might even smell like him.

Draco peeked over the sweater and smiled at Harry's large smile that has returned, "Now you have to go! You have no choice!"

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the shirt from Harry and pulled it over his own thin jumper.

Harry laughed at Draco when he finished adjusting it, "Oh Draco you look great in it! Hell, even better than me, you should play for Gryffindor."

Draco smiled back playfully, "Thanks for the offer Harry but I'm perfectly happy playing for the obviously superior house."

Harry laughed again and grabbed Draco's hand, "Come on 'Mione and Ron are already waiting on us, and Ginny might be coming too!"

Draco felt his heart crush as he saw Harry's eyes get misty and his cheeks get red at the mention of Ginny joining for the trip to Hogsmeade. He couldn't help but wish that he could make Harry look like that. Draco sighed and pushed that down for today. There's no reason to tell Harry about his feelings and ruin the day, or the friendship.

He followed Harry out of the door and down to the Great Hall where everyone was already waiting, and sure enough, there she was. Every time Draco sees her he's filled with so much jealousy. Not only is she a girl, so she's leagues ahead of him, but she's gorgeous too. Fiery and passionate, her eyes always filled with mischief and her smile can well and truly light up a room. They were perfect together.

Harry and Draco joined the group and Draco watched as Harry drapes his arm casually over Ginny's shoulder.

"Alright, are we all ready to go?" Harry asked the group and everyone nodded.

__________________________________________________________

At the end of the Hogsmeade trip Draco kept Harry's sweater for the night, blaming it on his behind laundry and how cold the dormitory usually is at night. Truly, Draco wanted to sleep with it, it smelled so strongly of the scent of leather and broom sheds that Harry always has. He found a jacket that his godfather had and he wears it constantly, and then he is often working with the quidditch supplies. He became sort of an inter house coach when everyone came back for their eighth year because none of the eighth years were permitted to join the houses.

Draco inhaled the smell of Harry deeply and fell asleep easily, imagining it was Harry he was holding.

In the morning Draco washed all of his clothes and had to finally give Harry his sweater back.

"It's not like I was missing it or anything, Dra, you could've used it for as long as you wanted."

Draco tolled his eyes sarcastically, "Nah the scarlet was giving me a headache," he said smiling.

Harry shook his head and chuckled, taking the sweater back and throwing it over onto his bed. They both walked down to breakfast together. When they got down and Draco sat next to Harry, Harry still sat next to Ginny and seemed absolutely mesmerized by her presence while Draco sat by, hoping for a quick getaway.

__________________________________________________________

"Hey Dra!"

Draco looked up to the worst sight he could've ever seen, Harry was holding Ginny's hand, and Draco was used to that by now, they weren't labeled but they've been seeing each other for about a month now, it was Ginny wearing Harry's sweater. His seeker sweater that Draco held close to him so many nights ago.

Draco swallowed his ache, "Yeah Harry?"

"Ginny and I are gonna go watch the Gryffindor vs Slytherin match, do you wanna come with?"

Draco tossed around his answer in his head, if he said no Harry would automatically be keyed in that something is wrong, but Draco could not let Harry know that he was in love with him. But if he said yes, he would have to sit next to the love of his life and the woman that stole it all for a whole match.

Draco sighed and hoped the match would be the quickest in history, "Sure, just let me get changed."

He walked up the stairs and went into his room that he shared with Harry, Ron, and Blaise. He released a breath when he saw no one was here. He grabbed some clothes for the February weather and began to get changed, all while talking to himself in the mirror.

"It's only one match, Draco. Besides you don't have to say yes to every side along date. God you could just tell him how you feel and then he'll stop inviting you along. Yeah, but then he won't invite me to anything. I don't even know how he feels about gay people."

"Well given I'm bisexual, I'd say I'm pretty okay with them," Harry's clear voice struck Draco and he was frozen.

He couldn't move his fingers that were stuck buttoning a shirt as he looked in the mirror to Harry standing in the open door. Draco mentally chastised himself for leaving the door open and speaking so loudly about this stupid crush.

"Draco? Do you like me?" Harry's eyes were soft, not filled with anger or resentment but Draco didn't know how to take that.

"Uh, no, no I don't," he lied. Draco knew Harry knew he was lying but it didn't stop him. Maybe he could save his dignity.

"Dra, I heard what you said, I'm sorry I didn't realize that you coming with Ginny and I was hurting you so much. Will you come sit on the bed with me? Can we talk?" Harry asked, walking over to his bed and sitting crisscrossed.

Draco sighed and moved to sit on the bed, while finishing buttoning his shirt. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"You, and how you feel about me. And then afterwards, me, and how I feel about you."

Draco groaned and put his face in his hands, "You already heard how I feel about you Harry, why do you want me to tell you?"

"Because I want to be sure."

Draco sighed and looked up at Harry. His green eyes filled with something, Draco couldn't be sure but it seemed soft. "Fine, I like you Harry, I have for years but I've never told you. I especially decided not to tell you now, because this was my chance at being your friend and being loved by you, at the very least platonically. You love so passionately, you would do anything for your friends and I didn't want to lose that because of some silly crush that I can't seem to, well, crush for lack of a better word."

When Draco finished he saw Harry smiling at him, and then remembered that Harry was going to tell him how he feels. Draco took in a deep breath, knowing he would probably regret this, "How do you feel about me?"

Harry smiled wider and leaned back a bit, "How do I feel about you? About Draco Malfoy? The man who tossed me a wand so that I could defeat Voldemort? The man who I spoke for at the trials? The man that marched right up to me at the beginning of eighth year and demanded a second chance? The man that I have been hopelessly in love with since sixth year? I feel a lot of things for you Draco, and one of them is love like you've never experienced before."

#harry potter #draco mafoy #drarry #drarry fic #drarry fanfic #my writing #hermione granger #ginny weasley #ron weasley #heather #music inspired #harry potter fic #sorry it just ends #if some people like it enough #I can write a bit more and finish it #lemme know

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mistymazzello · 4 years

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Cruel Summer | part iv

summary-they used to be best friends, but now that y/n has a boyfriend (that everyone hates), joe and y/n can’t seem to come to terms with their feelings, but it’s no secret to anyone how they truly feel.

warnings- cussing & angst

word count- 1.6k (it’s short ik ik)

a/n-If you’re from another country, the order of grades in highschool goes freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. also, i hate the way i wrote this chapter but here u go🥺this is really just a set up for the drama that’s gonna happen next chapter

based off of cruel summer by taylor swift

Joe hadn’t said much about the girl he was bringing. All you knew was that she was coming that night. You thought about not showing up, but you needed to talk to Joe, and you kind of really wanted to see the girl he was bringing, so as you put on your makeup and got ready, you tried to keep some dignity. It was embarrassing that you just broke up with your boyfriend for someone who doesn’t want you anymore, and it was even more embarrassing that Rami and Lucy knew.

Walking into Rami’s house was a death march. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears as you walked through his front door, Lucy grabbing your hand and giving it a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry you have to do this. I know it sucks, and if you ever want to leave, just tell me and we can go.” She said quietly to you.

“Lucy,” you laughed “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” You lied.

“Alright.” she sighed.

You walked down the steps into Rami’s basement and you felt like your throat had closed up when you saw Joe. He was sitting on the couch, a girl with dark curls clung to his side, holding onto his arm as if she was scared. You almost wanted to laugh.

Lucy said hi to everyone, causing Joe and the girl to turn and look at both of you. Immediately, you locked eyes with Joe, who adjusted his grip on the girl who was practically wrapped around his side. You finally got a good look at her, and she seemed familiar, and you were pretty sure she went to your school. She was pretty, too. You started to wonder if she knew that Joe had tongued you down less than 24 hours ago. You wanted to laugh again.

“Joe, who’s this?” Lucy said, sitting in a chair next to the couch, scooting over to allow you to sit next to her. Gwil and Rami were playing pool while Ben sat in a chair across from the two of you.

“This is Vera.” He smiled.

“Hi” She smiled. “Thanks for letting me come so last minute”

You smiled and looked at Joe. “I guess it is kind of last minute, isn’t it.”

He glared at you.

“Well, I’m Lucy, and this is Y/N.”

“You look really familiar, Vera, do you go to our school?” You asked,

“Oh, yeah. I’m a Junior.” She said, her smile never breaking.

Lucy proceeded to talk to her, but you couldn’t. You silently prayed she would do something wrong so that you could hate her, but she continued to be lovely. You watched Joe intently for a while. You watched how he held onto her, how he would whisper things to her, how he treated her the way you had only dreamed of being treated by him. You realized this is what Joe felt the entire time you dated Carter. You tried to convince yourself that Joe only brought her because he likes her, not because he wanted to make you mad. You knew how conceited you sounded thinking that, but you couldn’t help it. It made sense.

You felt your phone buzz and you pulled it out. Ben had made a groupchat with everyone except Joe and Vera.

Ben-Does this seem a little weird to anyone else?

Gwilym-YES!!! There’s no way Joe was that close with someone and he didn’t tell us, right?

Ben-That’s what I thought too

Gwilym-Should I ask?

Rami-DO NOT ASK

Lucy-Maybe she’s just a clingy person by nature? Like it doesn’t have to be anything serious for them to act like that

Gwilym-They’re literally ON TOP of eachother

You sighed in relief. So you weren’t crazy.

Ben-If we all left they would 100% be fucking in ur basement rami

Rami-STOP

Lucy-I want to hate her so fucking bad but I CANT!!! WHY IS SHE SO NICE!!!!

You put your phone away and looked back at Joe and Vera. It felt like your heart had dropped to your stomach at this point, and it had only been 20 minutes.

You felt like a time bomb. You needed to tell Joe that you had broken up with Carter, and you needed to tell him how you felt.

“I’m gonna go get some water, do you guys want anything?” Joe said, standing up.

A beat passed and you stood up. “I think I’m gonna come with you.” You said casually.

He looked at you, his lips slightly parted. He knew he couldn’t protest, so he just followed you out the door and up the steps.

Your phone began buzzing as you walked into the kitchen but you were too invested in what you were about to say to look at it.

Gwilym-ASK HIM ABOUT IT

Lucy-^^^

Ben-Ask how long they’ve been a thing

Gwilym-WE WANT ANSWERS

You put your hands on the counter and watched him as he walked over to the fridge. “Joe, can we please talk.”

“I came up here to get water, not to have you mess with my emotions.”

“Please.” You begged softly.

He looked at you and sighed, then sat down at the counter.

You sat down next to him and took a deep breath. “She’s really pretty.”

He nodded.

“It’s really hard for me to sit down there and watch you with her, when less than 24 hours ago me and you-”

“You can’t get mad, Y/N. You have a fucking boyfriend! You have Carter, I’m allowed to have Vera!” He said.

“What, so you’re just gonna use Vera to make me mad until I make up my mind?” You shouted back.

“I’m not using her.” He defended.

“Yes you are, Joe!”

“Make up you’re fucking mind, then!”

“I already did.” You looked at him for a few moments. “I broke up with Carter this morning.”

He immediately looked shocked, his mouth opened then closed.

“For you, Joe. I broke up with him for you.”

“Why?” he asked.

You shook your head and stood up, walking away.

“Y/N, I’m serious, why’d you break up with Carter for me?”

You kept walking straight towards the front door, not even bothering to go back into the basement.

He grabbed your arm. “Y/N-”

“Because I love you!” You snapped. “And if you want to be with Vera that’s fine, and I know I can’t get mad because I did the exact same thing to you!”

He let go of your arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked softly.

“I don’t know.” you replied.

A beat passed.

“I love you, Joe. I have for a while. Isn’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

You both stood there for a few moments and for a second, you thought he might kiss you.

He didn’t.

You didn’t see Vera at all the last week of school. You would think that since it was finals week you and Joe would have been on edge, but there was hardly any exchange between the two of you. It was awkward, and it’s not how you wanted your senior year to end. You didn’t understand how Joe was the one who kissed you first, but now you’re the only one who’s said I love you.

The day of graduation was going by quickly. You were all sitting in the gym, waiting for the ceremony to start. Lucy was crying like she had been all day, everyone was extremely emotional, but you seemed to be in denial. You hadn’t really accepted the fact that your time with your friends was coming to an end, and you didn’t want to. You were standing against the wall, your cap in your hand as you watched all of the people you had grown up with that you would never see in this setting ever again.

Joe slowly walked over to you and stood by you silently.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” He broke the silence.

“What is?”

“Just like, graduating. It feels like we just started high school and now it’s over.” He stated.

You nodded your head, trying not to think about the fact that the last time you talked to him you told him that you loved him.

“Remember how me and you were like, each other's only friends freshman year?”

You smiled. “Yeah.”

You both stood there for a while, both of you probably thinking about the same thing.

“Haven’t seen Vera all week.” you said.

He shifted. “I don’t like Vera.”

You heard teachers start calling everyone to get in order.

“Why not?”

“I just don’t.”

You looked at Joe expectantly, silently begging him to say something, anything. You wanted him to tell you that he loved you so you didn’t feel so stupid.

“I’ll see you later.” He said. Not what you wanted to hear.

You nodded.

He began to walk away but he stopped himself, then turned around. “By the way, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”

You wanted to ask what he meant, but he walked away. You did ask him if you saying that you loved him was the worst thing he’d ever heard, but this isn’t the kind of answer you wanted. Now you were just confused.

Gwilym was the valedictorian, so he had to give a speech. It was very professional with a few jokes, in perfect Gwilym style. You cried, Lucy cried, Joe cried (hard), even Ben cried. And that’s why, after the ceremony, you felt that it was ok that Joe hugged you. You were both sad, and you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything, but by the way he set his chin on top of your head and stroked your hair, you couldn’t help but convince yourself that it had to mean something.

You tried to make yourself forget the fact that you were in love with Joe that night. You tried to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to love you back and you needed to stop thinking he was, but everytime he said anything to you, you were convinced the next thing he would say is that he loves you.

He was convinced too, but he couldn’t do it.

taglist- @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @briarrose26 @mrsmazzello @im-an-adult-ish @iamthebeth @cobaincreates @almightygwil @timmvrphy

#fan fiction #borhap #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello smut #joe mazzello x y/n #joe mazzello x you #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello fan fiction #cruel summer #borhap cast #borhap boys x reader #joe mazzello #borhap boys imagine

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novannna · 3 years

Text

You Were the Hands That Held Me

Danissa soulmate au. everyone has a soul mate, and any marking that appears on their skin, appears on yours. narcissa’s pov. Kinda angsty, but also fluffy.

tw: self harm, and mentions of abuse kinda

wc: 2363

Narcissa stared at her arm in awe. This was the first time her soulmate had ever drawn something on her skin. She had felt the same cuts and bruises her soulmate had received, just like everyone else, but this was the first time her soulmate had deliberately marked her own skin.

Messy butterflies with uneven wings, and twisted antennas marched down Narcissa’s forearm.

“Oh,” she whispered. “Cool.” She grabbed the nearest marked, and held it poised above the other arm, ready to reply, but thought better of it.

She shouldn’t force her soulmate to stop their art for Narcissa. She dropped the marker, and kept watching the thick lines as they covered her entire arm.

That night she washed it all away in scalding hot water before her grandfather noticed. He wouldn’t approve of Narcissa communicating with her soulmate.

He hated the idea of How there was one person in the world, waiting just for you.

His soulmate had died years ago, leaving him heartbroken and angry, bitter to the world.

If Narcissa wasn’t careful, he might take the anger out on her.

Narcissa could take it, but she didn’t want to hurt her soulmate too. Narcissa would feel awful.

So she tried to ignore the small flowers and butterflies her soulmate drew constantly. Narcissa tried her very best.

---

Years later, Narcissa wrote to her soulmate for the first time. It was in the middle of the night, when Narcissa had felt a searing pain across her arm that looked like a red slit across her pale skin.

Her soulmate was in trouble. She couldn’t just stand by now. Narcissa had to do something.

Grabbing a tissue to staunch the bleeding, Narcissa scrawled across her hand in thick ink.

STOP

I can’t , her soulmate replied.

Please, just hear me out, Narcissa wrote, hoping she could do enough. Hoping she could convince the person who had drawn butterflies everywhere on their body, that maybe the world really did want them.

please, just stay out of this

I can’t. This is my body too. And even though I’ve never met you, you're my soulmate and I care about you.

Fine. I’ll listen. Her soulmate's handwriting was a little shaky, but very neat, with tall, loopy letters.

I’m guessing you’ve been having a hard time with life recently, Narcissa started.

I guess

Do you want to be here? Narcissa asked bluntly

There was a long pause. I don’t know, her soulmate finally responded. I love Earth, but the people…. I can’t stand the people. All they do is bring hate and hurt to me

I get that. But the people don’t matter. You do. Danna wrote desperately.

No I don’t. I’ve never done a single good thing in my life

You have! You’ve made me smile! You’ve made me laugh!

Her soulmate replied, When? This is the first time I’ve ever talked to you

When we were younger, you used to constantly doodle little flowers and butterflies all across our bodies. I loved to watch you draw them, watch the blocky little lines appear across my body. Danna smiled as she recalled the delicate insects she wore across her body daily.

I thought you hated those. That’s why I stopped

No, of course not!

Then why did you erase them?

Narcissa sighed. She thought for a second, then wrote, my grandfather. He hates soulmates. If he knew I was communicating with mine, I’m afraid he would hurt me. And doing that would hurt you.

But… that means you could get in trouble right now!

No. I won’t, I’m fine. You are more important. Tell me, what made you want to hurt yourself today?

I guess I’m just tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being treated like a child. I want to leave my house, but I can’t. I can’t live on my own.

Thats okay, you shouldn’t be ignored. You should be your own person, and if your parents cant see that, they’re idiots!!

Narcissa capped the pen, and tried to wrap her blanket around her arm, the blood slowly soaked through the fabric, staining the blanket a bright red. How would she explain that to her grandfather? It didn’t matter right now though. Right now, she had to make sure her soulmate was okay. That was her one and only goal. Nothing else mattered. Narcissa had the opportunity to maybe save a life right now. That’s what she had to do.

They aren’t. I’m the one who’s screwing up, her soulmate replied. I cant ever get anything right. Im just a big mistake that shouldn't even exist. The worlds probably better without me

THATS NOT FUCKING TRUE! Narcissa scrawled as quickly as she could. I dont believe it. Not for a second. Just by being here, you’ve made the world a better place. Everyday, I wake up and check my body for some indicator that you’re here. I can’t help but think about the fact that there is someone out there meant for me. And I’m meant for someone.

I guess…

Narcissa sighed heavily. She had to go to bed before her grandfather woke and saw her light on.

Are you okay? She wrote. Are you in any danger? If you are, im here. For both of us

A minute passed before the reply came. I dont think so. I think im better. But… if i feel bad again, can i talk to u? This actually really helped me. Thank you

Narcissa smiled. Of course!!! Just, could u write somewhere less obvious?

Sure. I understand.

Narcissa smiled gratefully. How ‘bout our ankles? That’s less obvious and easy for me to hide

She felt pressure on her right foot, and slid it out from beneath her blanket. A smile, and little butterfly doodle greeted her eyes.

Good night, soulmate, Narcissa wrote

Good night. Sleep tight. And… thank you.

Narcissa smiled. She slid out of bed, and held her arm close to her chest while creeping to the bathroom. Once inside, she scrubbed all of the ink off her skin, and bandaged the red slit shut.

Narcissa and her soulmate were okay. That was all that mattered. Everything was alright. At least for now. But now was the only thing Narcissa could bear to think about.

---

After that one night, Narcissa’s soulmate never hurt themselves like that again. But that didn’t mean they weren’t hurting. Narcissa could tell they were hurting themselves in other ways.

She tried to help. She wrote reminders every few hours, telling her soulmate to eat, and drink water. She wrote encouraging messages, and doodled across their skin.

But still, Narcissa would feel her stomach growl with hunger, and her tongue beg for more water. She felt her eyes grow heavy even though she had slept almost 10 hours the night before. Her soulmate just didn’t care, and there was nothing Narcissa could do.

They would talk to each other constantly, ranting about their day, or commenting about something they saw. Narcissa grew much closer to the person she had never even seen the face of. Closer to them then anyone else she had ever known.

Even her grandfather.

Narcissa had a very strained relationship with her grandfather. She knew deep down he loved her, but he had a hard time showing it. He was caught in a life of crime, and there was no way out.

He had been an arms dealer for years, selling guns and other weapons on the black market. He made a lot of money, but not a lot of friends. He was a bitter old man, who took all of his anger out on Narcissa. He had never hit her, but his words were hard enough.

Narcissa knew she was being abused, and belittled, and manipulated, but she always ended up excusing his actions. Or even worse, sometimes she would place the blame on herself. She knew she was in a bad situation, but it was one she was stuck in.

Narcissa talked about him lots with her soulmate. It turned out, they had a similar situation with their parents.

Mistreated, abused, bullied, shamed.

The two escaped into their skin, engrossed with each other. They held each other right through the pain and the tears. Though at times, both of them desperately wanted to, they held strong and never hurried themselves for fear of hurting the other.

---

One day, the straw finally snapped for Narcissa. She was 17 now, and old enough to live her own life. Old enough to understand what her grandfather gave her wasn’t love, it was trauma.

After he yelled at her for an hour straight because she put a book in the wrong bookshelf, Narcissa decided she had taken enough.

Can we go? She desperately scrawled across her ankle. Can we escape these sorry excuses for lives?

Her soulmate wrote back a few minutes later. What do you mean?

We’re old enough to live on our own. Why are we forcing ourselves to live with these people who treat us so terribly. Why don’t we just run away together?

Ok. The reply shocked Narcissa. She had been expecting them to try and convince her otherwise, make her see the absurdity. Not agree. But Narcissa was glad they agreed. They both deserved a chance to start over. To make a life for themselves, and do it right.

You will?

With you? Of course I will silly. I’ve been waiting years for me to ask

When? When can we leave?

Whenever your ready

A week, Narcissa declared, I’ll meet you in a week at Gatlon City, at the train station

Ok. I’ll be there, I promise, her soulmate wrote.

Me too. Narcissa grinned. She was finally escaping. Finally starting fresh. Finally leaving her grandfather to be with someone who truly cared. Narcissa couldn’t wait.

---

Narcissa creaked the door open, cringing as the hinges squealed loudly.

“Just where do you think you’re going?” Her grandfather slurred from the couch.

Shitshitshitshit, Narcissa though. She was caught. She was never going to escape her life.

“I told you earlier this week I’m going to a friends house tonight,” Narcissa said lightly, trying to mask her terror.

“Stop lying!” He screamed. “I know that’s not true, you don’t have any friends.”

Narcissa cringed.

She breathed in deeply. She was already leaving forever, there was no point in lying anymore.

“Fine I’m leaving. For good.” She braced herself for the rage.

Instead, he laughed. “You? You're leaving?” He scoffed. “You would never. You’re too scared and dependent on me.”

Narcissa drew herself up. “No. You’re wrong. I’m leaving, to find my soulmate. We’re making our own life. Together.”

He gaped at her. “You can’t! You can’t go to your soulmate,” he spat. “You’ll live a terrible life. You’ll be tied down forever.”

Narcissa shook her head. “No. I won’t. I’ll live the best life I can. Because I’ll be happy. I won’t live in fear anymore. I’m sorry you weren’t meant for your soulmate, but it’s different for me. I know them. We are meant for each other. I wouldn’t expect you to understand. All you know is hate.”

“So you’re really going?” Her grandfather’s lip curled up.

Narrcissa nodded. “I am. I’m making my own life, as far away from here as possible.”

“Then go!” He snarled. “I don’t want you in my house if you won’t see a reason. Go.” He picked a book sitting next to him, and hurled it at Narcissa’s head.

She ducked, her hair ruffling by the wind.

She turned to him, tears in her eyes. “Goodbye grandfather. I’m sorry.” She threw open the door, and fled into the night.

---

Narcissa’s heart thudded in her ears. This was it. This was the day she was going to meet her soulmate. She knew she should be realistic, but Narcissa couldn’t help imagining the meeting like something out of the sappy romance novels she liked to read.

She expected the dreary clouds to disappear, and the sun to shine out on top of them.

She expected to know exactly who was her other half

She expected to run up, into their arms, and kiss them like she had wanted to be kissed her entire life.

But Narcissa knew how unlikely it was. But, a girl could hope, couldn’t she?

She inhaled deeply. Uncapping the pen with her teeth, she scrawled on her palm, I’m here

Me too, her soulmate wrote back. The familiar loopy red marks eased Narcissa. She knew this person. This was her soulmate. Everything was going to be okay. It would all be okay.

Her eyes locked onto a girl standing near a bench, her head bent over her hand, a pen tucked behind her ear.

Somehow, Narcissa knew. She knew this was the person she had been searching for her whole life. She knew that the girl was her soulmate.

Summoning every miniscule scrap of courage Narcissa could find, she approached the girl.

She tapped her shoulder. “Hi,” Narcissa breathed, heart pounding. “I’m Narcissa. I think I’m your-”

She was interrupted by the girl throwing her arms around her tightly.

“I’ve waited so long to meet you,” Narcissa’s soulmate said roughly, her voice thick with tears. “I’m Danna.”

Narcissa laughed. She realized she was crying. “Me too.”

“I feel like I already know everything about you,” Danna laughed. She swiped her eyes.

Narcissa nodded. “I know we’re soulmates, but I want you to know I understand if you don’t want me,” she said. “I get it- not all soulmates are really soulmates.”

She was cut off by Danna pressing her lips to hers. “I want you,” Danna breathed. “You're the one who I’ve trusted with every secret I’ve ever held. You’re the one who helped me when no one else could. You’re the one who took care of me.” Danna held their hands up, exposing the thick identical scars that spread across their wrists. “You are the only other person in the world who understood, and actually helped me. You were the hands that held me.” Danna reached her hand to Narcissa’s face, wiping away her tears. “I want you, and no one else.”

“Me too,” Narcissa whispered. “Me too.”

Tag list: @novissa @thepurpledragon4444 @phobidawg @janisarkisian @rvbell @lavenderbloo @redassassin (let me know if you want to be added/taken off!!!)

#danissa #danna bell #narcissa cronin #wlwrenegades #renegades au #Renegades #supernova #archenemies #tw self harm #self harm tw #self harm #tw abuse #tw mentions of abuse #abuse tw #reblogs>>>likes

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lostinaseaoffictionalbliss · 5 years

Text

Belonging To The Young Wolf

Summary: You’re part of Robb’s army and he cant help falling for you

Pairing: Robb x reader

Warnings: smut, vag penetration, fingering, oral(fem receiving)

Robb Stark had called his banner men and you were one of the ones who answered. When he told you they planned to march on King's Landing to save his father and sisters, you rallied behind him. Of course you did this out of a sense for duty and honor and not because you harbored feelings for him; at least that was what you told yourself. When you met Robb three years ago on your first trip to Winterfell you had become smitten. The two of you had exchanged a few ravens over the years as friends not knowing you both felt the same.

With your father being gone you had become the Lady of your home and it was your job to answer Robb's call. That is how you found yourself sitting at a table outdoors surrounded by men. They had been talking about a drinking contest causing you to shake your head. "What do you say Lady Y/N? Want to join us?" one of Lord Karstark's men asked. You raised a brow and chuckled. These men didn't know what they were in for.

Being an only child, without a mother, your father had taken you under his wing as if you were a son. The two of you trained together and drank together, often partaking in challenges when alone; you always won. "You're challenging the wrong person," you warned, but they would have none of it. Laughing they goaded you until you agreed. You finished your mug before grabbing another.

The challenge was to drink four mugs finishing the fourth before the other contestants. You nodded signaling that it was okay to start. Pressing the mug to your lips you gulped the cool drink down matching the men's pace. When you reached your fourth mug you finished before the men were half way through theirs. Noticing you had won one of the men jumped up getting in your face. "You need to back the fuck off me before I punch you," you told him.

Of course he didn't listen only getting closer to you screaming how you had cheated. When his spit landed on your cheek you closed your eyes clenched your jaw and took a deep breath. It didn't have the calming effect it was supposed to so when your eyes flew open your fist flew out landing a punch directly to his jaw. "Don't ever get in my face again," you told him before storming off.

Little did you know Robb had watched the whole endeavor becoming immensely aroused. He loved how not only had you bested his men, but had put them in their place after. He had always known you to be a strong woman only furthering his feelings toward you. Robb watched you walk away with a grin on his face. "This is the wrong time to be horny," he muttered to himself before walking toward his tent. As much as he wanted you he felt a war camp wasn't the place to make you his.

A few days later he watched as you bent over the war table trying to figure out the best course of action. Your lip was between your teeth an unconscious habit when you were thinking. Robb tried not to be effected by it, but the longer he watched you the more it got to him. "Stop biting that fucking lip," he said catching you off guard. Your head flew up e/c eyes locking with Tully blue as you furrowed your brows in confusion.

"What?" you asked. Watching Robb as he moved toward you, you noticed how dark his eyes had become as well as the flare of his nostrils. Being the intelligent woman you were you knew exactly what those signs pointed to. However you were surprised that his lust was directed toward you. "I said stop biting that fucking lip. You're driving me insane, Y/N. All I think and dream about is you," he told you. Your mouth dropped in complete astonishment; Robb returned your feelings.

Noticing your shocked state he swooped in pressing his lips to yours in a loving kiss. He was being gentle with you wanting to show you just how much you meant to him. When he pulled away he took hold of your hand smiling down at you. Looking in his eyes you noticed the blue to be almost completely gone and couldn't wait for what would come next.

With your fingers laced in Robb's you allowed him to lead you further into the camp for privacy. Reaching a somewhat secluded place he turned and pulled you toward him. You wrapped your arms around his waist burying your face in his chest taking in his scent. One of his hands came under your chin lifting your head to look you in the eyes. The vast amount of adoration you saw shining there was almost enough to make your knees buckle.

You licked your bottom lip and swallowed feeling your mouth go dry. Reaching up you cupped the left side of his face offering him a loving smile. Robb's large hand came up to cover yours giving it a squeeze as your eyes stayed locked. When he began to lean in you stood on the tips of your toes pressing your lips to his. You moaned loving the feel of his lips against yours as his strong arms pulled you close. With your chest pressed against his you gripped one of his shoulders while you ran your other hand through his hair.

Robb quickly spun you toward the bed in his tent and walked you backwards. Feeling the edge hit your calves you allowed him to gently lay you down never breaking your kiss. You don't know how long you lay there, tongues mapping out each other's mouths caressing one another through your clothes. It was like you were afraid to break the kiss that if you did the other would disappear. In this moment you were each other's life line.

When the need for oxygen became too much Robb pulled away from your lips sucking in a breath. You did the same watching his beautiful blue eyes. He untied your tunic and began gently pulling at the hem. You lifted your arms allowing him to remove it and watched as his eyes scanned your body. There wasn't a hint of disgust in his eyes only love and admiration. The sheer amount of caring that came from him had your breath hitching in your throat. Even after seeing your scars from years of training he found you beautiful. "Gods, you look amazing," he said

You shot up placing your lips upon his once again trying to let him know how much he meant to you and how much his admiration meant. He gently nipped your lower lip as his deft hands removed your breast band. One calloused hand caressed up and down your side before moving toward your breast. Robb ran a thumb over your nipple slowly moving it back and forth before finally rolling it in between his fingers. You moaned into his mouth tugging lightly on his hair eliciting a moan from him.

He once again broke your kiss, but instead of pulling away he began trailing hot open mouth kisses along your jaw and down your neck. When he reached your collarbone he nipped at it and then licked to sooth the sting. However his trail didn't end there he continued downward until he reached your breast. Robb slowly licked around your nipple causing you to squirm and whine. Noticing how worked up you were getting he took mercy on you and wrapped his warm lips around your nipple.

Feeling him suck, nip, and flick one nipple while he rolled the other had you bucking your hips. A thin sheen of sweat had already began to build on your skin. Your nipple came loose from his mouth with a wet pop as he trailed kissed toward your other breast offering it the same treatment. Heart palpitating and breaths ragged you arched your back pushing yourself closer to his hot mouth. You grabbed his arms tight helping you lift your body upwards.

Once he was done lavishing your breasts his lips blazed a trail downwards. Reaching your belly button he dipped his tongue in swirling it once causing you to squirm again. A breathy chuckle left him, but he never stopped his movements. Robb nipped at your hipbone before licking his way to the other giving it the same treatment. You groaned and threw your head back. He was worshipping your body causing your mind to go blank. You couldn't think of anything, but his warm hands rubbing your sides as his mouth teased your trouser-line.

Robb's hands moved down your sides once more before undoing the laces on your trousers. Holding the edge of them he slid them along with your underclothes down your legs. He stood up allowing you to kick off your shoes so that he could pull your clothes the rest of the way off. Once again his eyes drank you in showing nothing, but his love. You whimpered feeling your body heat under his intense gaze. His tongue came out to lick his bottom lip causing you to groan.

There was something about the way he did it that drove me insane. "Robb," you whimpered his name as he watched you a moment longer. Robb then walked toward you once again grabbing your left leg peppering kisses along the way. When he reached your sex he took deep breath in letting out a moan. "Seven hells, Y/N. You smell delicious," he said. His tongue darted out to lick your folds not quite pushing through causing another whimper to escape you. The next time Robb's tongue flicked out he pushed past your folds licking from your clit to your entrance. The third time from your entrance to your clit and there he stayed.

Pressing lightly he began moving his tongue in a circular motion. You groaned and gripped his hair, but not hard enough to hurt. When he sucked your clit into his mouth you arched your back causing him to push you back down. You could have easily broken his gentle hold, however, you didn't want to as you were enjoying his touch almost too much. Leaving your clit Robb dipped his tongue into your entrance making you gasp and roll your hips.

He took your clit into his mouth again as he pushed two long thick digits into your entrance. You instantly clenched around him as your orgasm was balancing precariously on the edge. With just a few more flicks of his tongue and pumps of his fingers you fell over allowing pleasure to burst through you. White lights appeared behind your eyes as you gripped the sheets tight. Robb continued working you until you came down from your wondrous high.

He then stood up, toed off his boots, and removed his own clothing. It was now your turn to admire his body in all its glory. You bite your lip, causing him to moan, watching him move back toward you. Robb grabbed your right leg as he slid between them wrapping it around his waist. Mimicking his actions you placed your other one around him as well. One of his hands cupped your cheek rubbing his thumb over your parted lips.

Robb's eyes never left yours as he slowly pushed his cock past your slick folds and into your entrance. When he bottomed out he closed his eyes, stilling his movements. You knew it wasn't to let you adjust so you could only assume it was to make the tender moment last longer. When he finally did move it was in slow languid thrusts letting you feel every inch of his cock and him feel every inch of your sex.

You wrapped your legs around him tighter before pulling him down into a searing kiss. His lips parted allowing your tongue to dart into his mouth. You groaned at the taste of myself. Robb continued his slow thrusts never once picking up speed. The slow build of a second orgasm was almost torture, but you wouldn't trade it for the world. Having Robb in your arms showing you just how much he wanted you despite you not being a proper lady was almost heaven on Earth.

Your walls clenched around his cock making him moan into your mouth. Reaching between you he rubbed your clit sending waves of pleasure through you. Warmth rushed over you as you came undone causing your body to tense and quiver. Your walls fluttered around his cock as a grunt left his lips. Feeling him swell you knew it wouldn't be long until he came as well. Robb's thrusts while still slow had lost their rhythm alerting you to his impending orgasm. You felt his warm seed as it coated your walls. When he came down he looked at you with a grin causing you to smile in return.

Pulling away he rolled over bringing you to rest upon his chest. One hand ran up and down your spine while the other rested on your hip. "I love you," Robb said. You glanced up looking in his eyes seeing nothing, but truth. "And I love you Robb," you replied. A content sigh left his lips as he closed his eyes. "Marry me," he said. Your eyes widened in surprise. "What?" you asked again. "Marry me. Y/N, I've been in love with you as long as I can remember and I wouldn't want anyone else," he explained.

An excited grin found its way to your lips. "Of course I'll marry you," you told him. The following day with his mother and some of the gathered troops the two of you were wed. It was a happy ceremony as everyone present approved of the union. Now Catelyn just had to speak with Walder Frey so you could move past the twins and hopefully rescue the Starks still in King's Landing. You prayed to any god that would listen that things worked out for your family in the end.

#Robb #Robb Stark #Robb Stark x reader #Robb x reader #robb smut #Robb Stark smut #Game of Thrones #Game of Thrones smut #GoT #GoT smut

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gimmeyoon · 4 years

Text

Tag Game

tagged by: @ddaenggtan whom I love and is one half of two spider-man’s pointing at each other

:: nickname(s): B, BayB, Sherbert (Based on my real name this is risky), Bob (Because my phone autocorrects BB to Bob and so my best friend and I call each other that).

:: bias: In BTS, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jungkook (Because I am a whore)

:: blood type: I genuinely do not know, I think A+ .....

:: favourite food: Tofu and rice from a very specific Chinese place near my undergrad school OR from Sticky Rice, Asparagus, Pasta of any type, Tofurky sandwich

:: birthday: March 11, 1997

:: zodiac: Pisces Sun, Aries Moon, Sagittarius Rising

:: pronouns: she/her

:: hair length: OKAY right now it is SO LONG I’ve had short hair since I started senior year of High School, and now, 6 years later, my hair is an inch or 2 past my shoulders (I think I should cut it)

:: height: i am 5′3″ and one time I said “tall people should always be afraid” as I stood on a stool because BEING THAT HIGH UP IS SCARY

:: a crush: I have a new crush every room I walk into I am hopeless also what ever happened to Alex the regular that I blushed around why did he stop coming to my Starbucks Alex I miss you

:: what do you like about yourself: I like my style and my confidence. I took me a really long time to feel good about myself, but I feel like I’m finally as confident as everyone always thought I was. I like my creativity and how empathetic I am.

:: left or right handed: I am right handed but live in fear that I was supposed to be left handed based on my mom’s haunted memory of taking the marker out of my left hand as a child and putting it into my right and immediately regretting it.

:: list of 3 favourite colours: CURRENTLY: pastel pink, neon green, and pastel purple

:: (right now) eating: nothing, but I have a Mediterranean grain bowl from Panera in front of me for later so I could use their wifi

:: (right now) drinking: Starbucks venti iced coffee with soy, light ice, and 3 pumps of cinnamon dolce syrup.

:: i’m about to: start planning for Spring semester which starts tomorrow!

:: listening to: my Korean music playlist, which is named 음악, because Google translate told me that’s how you write music in Korean, if it’s wrong please tell me I don’t want to be embarrassed. It’s my most listened to playlist and more specifically I am listening to Tell Me What To Do by SHINee

:: kids: Does my cat count? I call her my baby and her name is Mochi. Or is this like do I want to have them? Yes, I have wanted to be a mom since I was very little, but that’s also maybe because of child hood trauma that we do not have time to unpack, anyways I always pictured myself as a mom but like not as a wife? So kids even if I’m a single mom.

:: get married: LMAO according to the above I am not like that invested in it, but also I am down to get married one day. I’m genuinely happy alone and I don’t actively seek out romantic relationships BUT ALSO I WANT TO BE LOVED DAMN IT. Idk one day but no time soon.

:: recent phone call: My mom because she face timed me and I could tell it was a butt dial and I was right.

:: (have u ever) dated someone twice: No. I am the type of person that is done when I’m done and my mind isn’t going to be changed. Also I never liked anyone I dated that much OOP.

:: been cheated on: Probably, like they swore to the end that they didn’t, but he immediately started dating the girl (my best friend) that I swore he was cheating on me with SO LIKE EMOTIONALLY YES.

:: kissed someone and regretted it: Literally one of my boyfriends, and yet even after regretting the kiss I DATED HIM WHAT THE HELL

:: lost someone special: Yes. No way to make this entertaining or funny sorry.

:: been depressed: We are thicc into the effects of seasonal affective disorder SO YES (I’m sorry that effects my work on this blog and is proof that being depressed TM does not make you a better artist I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT NOW)

:: been drunk and thrown up: OKAY so yes, the first time was my freshman year of college and I WAS WASTED, and then not again until MY SENIOR YEAR where I would be LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DRINK. I learned the hard way that when I am out and my friend says WHO WANTS TO DO SHOTS if my immediate answer is yes, it should be no, because I never want to take a shot unless I am already too drunk.

:: had glasses or contacts: I have both! I’ve had glasses since the first grade and I got contacts in the 7th grade, which I prefer because I like seeing in my peripheral.

:: had sex on the first date: well as a Virgin TM, no

:: broken someone’s heart: Yes, and I am not sorry OOP

:: turned someone down: Yes, and it is always awkward I hate it

:: cried when someone died: Yes, every time

:: fallen for a friend: Yes, refer back to I have a new crush every room I enter

:: (in the last year have you) made a new friend: YES, I moved to a whole new state and made friends on this here website

:: laughed until u cried: Yes and its one of my favorite emotions

:: met someone who changed u: I think everyone we truly get to know and meet changes us in some way.

:: found out who your true friends were: Yes and that shit hurted

:: found out someone was talking about you: Probably, I am pretty oblivious to things like that, so I could genuinely never realize.

:: lips or eyes: Eyes I guess. I’ve never thought about it but I guess I think more about eyes than lips when it comes to a person.

:: hugs or kisses: Kisses are great but HUGS hit DIFFERENT. You can kiss random people and it means nothing except hey you’re hot, but THE THOUGHT of the person I love hugging me tight EUPHORIC

:: romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous romantic gestures

:: hookup or relationship: Relationship, even though like to think I’m a bad bitch that can’t be locked down, I also need to be comfortable with a person before I can be intimate.

:: first best friend: from birth until the beginning of high school, growing apart from her was worse than any break-up I’ve ever had and I still think about how my mom held me in the car while I cried about the end of our friendship.

:: surgery: nope

:: sports i joined: I did Softball and basketball until high school, played JV volleyball for one year in the 8th grade, and then after that I was a Cheerleader.

:: do u believe in yourself: Sometimes. Recently when Fall semester ended I thought I did really poorly on my final papers, but when I presented in both classes people were really impressed. I had even started to wonder if trying to get my PhD was unrealistic. I think it was the reminder I needed that I am smart and strong and I can do most things if I set my mind to them, so I’m dedicated to believing in myself in 2020.

:: miracles: I don’t know. Maybe. I hate to take a strong stance and say no, but I’ve also never seen one.

:: love at first sight: I believe in like at first sight, but not love. Love is a verb and requires work. Love is so much more than just seeing someone, it involves looking into their soul and saying I recognize the light in you and I love it.

:: heaven: I was raised religious but idk man. It’s crazy because of how strongly I felt about this 6 years ago.

:: do u have any pets: My parents have a dog that I lived with until 6 months ago and I have a cat. I want another cat uwu.

:: do u want to change your name: No, I love my name. But my alias on here, I think about changing it all the time.

:: what did u do for your last birthday: I went out with my friends, and did really cute makeup, and was really feeling myself.

:: what time did u wake up today: I got to sleep in since I had the day off, so 10:00 am.

:: what were u doing last night at midnight: Sleeping my dude, I passed out at like 10:00 pm

:: something i can’t wait for: my whole life I’ve been waiting to live the life I want to live, and I know this is a sad thing to say, but I still feel that way. It’s hard to change my mentality, but I’m very future focused.

:: last time u saw your mum: AHHH recently! My parents came up last week and I got to see them for the first time since November, and my mom cried WHEN SHE WALKED INTO MY APARTMENT

:: what is one thing u wish u could change about your life: I wish I could finally make a solid group of friends where I currently live, but I am very nervous about it and I don’t put myself out there ooof I also would like to stop procrastinating the things I want to do like my YouTube channel and I want to stop being depressed and I want to go to NYC more often

I’d like to tag…. @strawbxxymilk @honiboyyoon @helpitskpop @sketchguk

#I love to ramble and these tag games always prove that sorry #Moots #tag you're it #about b

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satans-favorite-homo · 5 years

Text

Growing Pains chapter 1 Letting go

Growing up Marinette had always been a shy and anxious child,but she was also raised to be kind, and she was. Every year she would bring treats for her new class when the school year started back up and was always polite and sweet with others. She knew she was a good person, she always did her best to be selfless and apologize when she was wrong and try to grow from her mistakes. She bent over backwards to be there for her friends even if it was inconvenient to her, she was kind, she was good.

But they still trust Lila’s word over yours don't they.

Marinette shut her eyes tight and tried her best to will those thoughts away.

‘Deep breathes. Calm thoughts. You can't get akumatized they are depending on you’

But i'm so tired

‘Deep breathes. Calm thoughts. You can not give in’

Marinette knew she couldn't, She swore to all of paris she would be their protector,not their downfall. She took a deep breathe, calmed her racing heart, and when she opened her eyes again she could hear the flutter of butterfly wings. She sat up in her bed and saw a familiar purple butterfly perched on the railing at the foot of her bed.

Marinette could remember how just a few months ago the sight of a purple butterfly this close to her would make her panic but now she had grown used to Hawkmoth’s attempts to akaumatize her.

This will pass. Tomorrow the sun will rise and time will tick on. All of this will pass.

Marinette reached out with both her hands and scooped up the butterfly. She cupped her hands shut around the butterfly and closed her eyes. She could feel Hawkmoth’s negative energy try and seep into her and give him control. This was always the part she hated the most, holding the Akuma she could feel all of his malicious intent and it felt like poison trying to forcefully inject itself her bloodstream. She could feel the icy shards of his greed slowly traveling through her veins, and she could feel all those emotions halt as she breathed and focused all the love and calm she could muster towards the small bug in her hands.

You have a family who loves you.

Her parents, she thought back on all the love they have given her throughout the years, all the support and hugs and smiles.

You have so many that look up to you.

She thinks about how excited Manon gets whenever she sees new footage of Ladybug saving the day, and that big smile she gave Marinette when she gave her her very own ladybug doll for her birthday.

She thinks of all the smiles she gets from the citizens of paris whenever they see her out on patrol.

You have people who believe in you.

She thinks of how proud and supportive her parents are of her.She thinks of how much they encourage her in everything she does.

She thinks back to when Jagged and Penny contacted her for a new commision and when they had met up to discuss the details they had noticed there was something off with her. She remembered how they sat her down and listened to her vent about Lila and her friends alienating her, how Jagged was outraged and offered to help her prove Lila’s lie about her tinnitus, and how when she turned down the offer they both made it clear they would be here for her if she needed them. She remembered nearly crying when they said she was a talented and kind person and they cared for her very much.

She thinks back to how much both Master Fu and Tikki trust in her.

You are stronger than this

And with a bright flash of pink she could feel Hawkmoth’s powers wash away. She opened up her hands and released the butterfly now a pure white, she watched it flutter away through her open trapdoor.

“Marinette!” Tikki squeaked as she made her way into Marinette’s line of sight. The small goddess wanted to ask her chosen if she was ok, but she already knew there would be no point to the question.

Tikki knew for the last two months Marinette hadn’t been the same, ever since Lila started turning her friends on her Marinette has been struggling, for the first month she was well enough to simply fight off the akumas with positive thoughts and having to transform in order to purify them. But sometime into the second month she had surprised them both when in a fit of frustration she simply grabbed the akuma and purified it without the help of her spotted yoyo.

Tikki knew she didn't have to tell marinette she was there for her , her chosen had hard time believing people’s word after her “friends” alienating her so soon after claiming their love for her, their supposed everyday ladybug. So instead she flew over and snuggled up to her chosen’s cheek.

“I’m so tired of this Tikki…,” Tikki swore she could feel her heart break a little, her chosen shouldn't sound this tired, she didn’t deserve to sound so beat down dammit.

“We will get past this Marinette,”

“I know, but I cant keep waiting for Lila to slip up in order for this to stop, i’m just sitting here in limbo. I cant keep going like this. What if one of these days I don't catch the akuma on time, what then..,” Marinette didn't realize she was crying until she felt her small friend wipe away a tear from her face. “At this point it’s not just Lila’s lies that hurt me.” She choked back a sob “How could they say they care about me and then turn around and believe a stranger over me Tikki? A-And Adrien can see them all being so cold to me b-but he rather just ‘avoid confrontation’, he’s just being a coward!” At this point Tikki could see Marinette switch from tears of hurt to tears of anger “I’ve tried so hard to be the best friend I could for them and in return I’m left in the dust.”

Marinette wiped away her tears, got up and climbed down from her bed. She turned to the now empty wall by her computer, she thought back to a day about a month into Lila’s return, her lies seemed to had worked its charm because she had come to class to be met with a room full of glares except from Lila and Adrien, Lila wore a look of a kicked puppy and Adrien looked apologetic, apparently Lila had told every one that Marinette had been secretly bullying her since her return and she hadn’t wanted to come forward because everyone seemed so close to Marinette. The entire class had confronted her and said she would be getting the silent treatment until she fessed up and apologized, and with that Lila was given her seat forcing her to the back once again,all the while Adrien never spoke up, not once , he hardly even looked at her.

When she got home that day she tore down Adrien’s schedule and threw it away along with every photo she had of him.

Tikki saw a look of determination come over Marinette’s face and watched her march down stairs to speak with her parents.

--------------ML------------------

The students at Collège Françoise Dupont were a buzz, today was the last day of school and soon the young teens would be free to enjoy their summer holidays.

Miss Bustier had given her class free time to sit and chat as the day came to a close and as she stepped away to go over some things with the principal. At the back of the class Marinette sat alone watching her classmates sit around Lila as she went on about spending summers on the beaches of Achu with celebrities. Marinette looked around the classroom, a classroom she once thought of fondly, back when it was the classroom she had met Alya, her best friend. She shifted her gaze to Alya sitting by Lila and the rest of the class. She wasn't her best friend anymore, she thought back to the day the class started giving her the silent treatment.

Alya had gave her a angry look and handed her her half of their best friend necklace Marinette had gifted her a while back. Marinette had been stunned, surely Alya didn't believe Lila over her. “I can’t be your best friend if you keep acting this way Marinette.” Her heart had sunk “When you finally see you are being petty and apologize to Lila and to us for acting like a bully, then maybe we can be friends again.” Alya had said that as if she were chastising a miss behaving child, like she hadn’t just shattered Marinette’s heart.

No. Alya hadn’t been her best friend or even a friend for a while now.

She knew what she had to do, she couldn’t risk being Akumatized she had to stop this constant cycle of pain, even if it hurt her.

Marinette glanced at the clock, about 10 minutes till class was over and summer began. “I guess it's time,” She whispered to herself.

“Wow Lila! We should totally all get together this summer for a bonfire, Oh maybe you could get Ladybug to come!” Alya beamed at Lila. Lila was about to respond when her gaze focused on something past Alya. “Oh Marinette, have you finally come to apologize? I knew you wou-”

“No Lila.” Marinette cut her off.

The class turned to marinette and they all gave her very disapproving looks, well all except Chloe and Adrien, Chloe looked like she was curious as to how this would all go, and Adrien looked nervous,He had a feeling this wasn't going to end well.

Alya stood and moved to stand in front of Marinette. She crossed her arms “ You really should be apologizing Marinette, you know no one here is going to forgive you until you do,” The class made noises of agreement.

Marinette didn't respond she simply put a closed hand out, as to hand something to Alya.

Alya raised a brow at her and extended her hand to take whatever it was she was handing to her.

Marinette dropped something that felt like metal, (jewelry?) Into her hand. Alya looked down to see both halves of the best friend necklace Marinette had gotten for them. She was stunned for a second

“Marinette what the he-”

“I’m Done Alya.” Marinette cut off before she could finish. Her shoulders were squared, and her anger was clear on her face.

“You’re done? Marinette! Are seriously saying you want to end our friendship because I called you out on being a bully!” The class was shocked, they didn’t think Marinette would stoop this low.

“Marinette” Lila said in a sickeningly sweet tone stepping up behind Alya and putting a hand on her shoulder “ I know you only bullied me because you’re jealous, but I told you if you got over that we could totally be friends!”

Alya turned a glare at the bluenette “See Marinette Lila is being nicer than she has to be to her bully and you seriously need to get over this jealousy.”

“I am so tired of you thinking i'm nothing more than some girl with a goddam crush Alya” Marinette seethed. “But fine, you want proof this isn't over some boy?”

Marinette turned to Adrien. “Adrien.” She looked him in the eye and without hesitation.

“I used to be in love with you.”

To say the class was shocked was a understatement. Even Chloe and Lila were shocked. Not as shocked as Adrien though.

“W-Wha-”

“Yup! I was in love with you, seriously smitten, and everyone but you knew it!” Marinette chuckled “But you see when you looked the other way when Lila was spreading lies about me, even though you knew she was a lair, I got over you pretty quick!”

She saw him flinch, but she wasn't done

‘But hey apparently i'm nothing but a jealous bully, even though I went with you on a double date so you wouldn't be nervous around Kagami!” She turned to Alya “But you guys forgot about that real easey didn't you,”

“So no Lila, Alya this isn't about me being jealous and hey since i'm confessing things here how about I tell everyone what happened in the bathroom the day you came back Lila?”

Marinette knew everyone was stunned silent, she could see Lila pale, and she knew she was being a bit hysterical, but she didn't care. It felt so good to finally get this off her chest.

“You know, when you cornered me in the bathroom and threatened to take away all my friends if I didn't stop trying to prove you were lying? Or how about after school when you literally declared war on me and swore I would lose all my friends and basically claimed Adrien as yours, as if he was a piece of meat!”

At this point she knew she should reel herself in before an akuma came but god damn it felt like she broke the bottle containing all of her pent up feelings and she was far from done.

“Well you know what Lila, you won.” Marinette gave a mocking applaud.

“Not only did you turn everyone on me, no you turned the one person who ever stood up for me against me.”

Marinette turned her gaze to Alya and stared her in the eyes, Marinette could feel the familiar sting of tears in her eyes and by the look on Alya’s face they both knew Marinette was close to tears. But she continued.

“I suffered the brunt of Chloe’s bullying for years and no one ever stood up for me until y-you.”

She sniffed and swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I don't know if you realized this but I was alone before you showed up, I was alone and constantly afraid but then you came and I wasn't alone anymore, you were my god damn bravery!”

Marinette knew she probably looked like a mess, tears streaming down her face and gesturing wildly. She couldn't find the strength to care though.

“But I guess I didn't matter to you as much as you mattered to me because you believed a stranger over me, and for what? Because she claims to know ladybug? God Alya.”

She wiped her tears on the back of her hand and gave a weak chuckle

“I'm so tired of feeling like this, i'm so tired of crying over people who obviously didn’t care about me as much as I thought they did. None of this had anything to do with jealousy, it had everything to do with the fact that I cared so much-”

“Marinette!” Adrien yelled, the class all gasped

“I know you are upset, but I need you to calm down.” Adrien spoke gently to her, putting his hands out as if ready to tackle her if needed

“Wha-” and then she heard it. The soft flutter of butterfly wings. When ranting she had been genstering wildy and she turned to see the familiar purple butterfly on her outstretched hand.

She was so tired of Hawkmoth.

She brought the butterfly closer to her “This is the 36th time in the last two months that you’ve come for me Hawkmoth.” She glared at the butterfly “And this is the last time.”

Marinette cupped the bug into her hands and felt the familiar poison of Hawkmoth’s powers try to control her.

This is it, after this i’ll be free of them, i’m done with them, and i’m done with you trying to control me Hawkmoth.

A flash of pink.

She opened her hands and out flew a white butterfly

The class was deadly silent

The last bell of the school year rung

Marinette picked up her back pack, slung it over her shoulder and turned to everyone.

She knew it was over, she knew these people who once meant so much to her had caused her too much pain to forgive. A part of Marinette wished she could blame this all on Lila, that she could out her as a lair and have her friends back but she knew it wasn’t Lila that turned her back on Marinette, it wasn’t Lila that broke her heart, It wasn’t Lila that made her feel unworthy of friends, that had made her cry herself to bed for weeks wondering what she did wrong to make everyone abandon her so easily, no it hadn’t been her.

“I’m Done.”

And with that she walked out of class without looking back.

Marinette knew this wasn’t actually the end of things with Lila and her old friends, she knew she would still have moments where she would miss them, she knew she wouldn’t trust people like she used to. She would be weary before she gave her heart or friendship to anyone again and her heart felt heavy, she still would no doubt have nights where the loneliness would get to her but with every step away from the school and that classroom, she felt lighter.

She must have made a weird sight, eyes puffy and red, tear stains on her face but the farther she got the more she smiled, she would be okay. She had Tikki, she had her parents, she had uncle Jagged and Aunt Penny, she had herself.

Tomorrow the sun will rise and time will tick on.

And Tomorrow seems a lot brighter.

Hi I decided to post my fic on my more official account. But here is the first chapter to the fic you two inspired! I hope you enjoyed

@mindfulmagics

@miraculousbuebird

#miraculous ladybug #fanfic #marigami #marinette dupen chang #kagami tsuguri #luka couffaine #marc anciel #adrein agreste #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #not a fix-it #salt fic #my wriitng

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formerlyrunephoenix6769 · 5 years

Text

North for Winter.

Summary:

The Heir to the SDC is missing and Winter is frantic with worry. What will happen if she ever sees her baby sister again?

--- xxxx --

Winter has heard that the Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company is missing. She has also heard about a train that is coming in hot after it was attacked by Grimm. Helping with aid and relief after it arrives, she hears whispers from the passengers about a bunch of young student Huntsmen and Huntresses from Beacon and the daring heroic choice by some to sacrifice themselves. They whisper about witnessing a girl with rose petals, a blonde with rockets on her arms and the Heiress to the SDC.. She is hardly unrecognisable.

At the station, Winter recognises ‘blond and scraggiliy’ the annoying electric girl and the collected boy she has always secretly approved of.. In her depths of worry, she harshly grabs the Arc boy demanding to know if Weiss was with them..

Her knuckles going white as she grips his hoodie, pinning him to a wall, her eyes burning like a thousand suns, a mixture of hope, desperation, concern, fear. You would almost call her frantic is it wasn’t for the sound of gravel in a blender as she ground her teeth together so hard, the tendons in her jaw bulged and popped.

“Is it true, Weiss was with you?”

“Yes. She was.”

Winter almost shakes the boy,

“Was? Is she alive?”

“I don’t know!..” Jaune stammers, “We got separated.”

“Hey! Lady!” The electric girl, growls menacingly, holding her hefty hammer as if ready to swing, “Let go of him.”

The collected boy, Lie Ren she thinks he is called, lays a calming hand on Winter’s arm, parting reassuring words,

“I am sure she is fine. She is with her team who are very capable and Qrow.”

Her eyes narrowed,

“Did you say Qrow? Qrow Branwen?”

The youngsters nodded causing her to release the blond boy. Qrow, that could either be a blessing in disguise or a burden. Granted, credit given, he was a good fighter…. But, could that drunken buffoon really be trusted with the care of a group of teenagers in the Grimm infested wilderness?

“You three, come with me!”

–x–

She begs for a search and rescue mission to be approved. But it is denied. All hands are needed on deck as the influx of ships, airships and passengers flood the already bustling trading city. They cant afford to waste a ship and resources on a handful of Huntsmen in training who chose to do their job.

Winter immediately calls her father. She asks for his help but he refuses. Weiss believes she can stand on her own two feet then she will have to learn what standing on her own two feet truly entails. He has washed his hands of her, until she realises her lesson that apparently can only be learned the hard way. Besides, the borders are closed. He couldn’t send ships over into Northern Mistral, even if he wanted to.

Maybe Winter should ask her precious General instead.

Security is tight and check points spring up every where. Everyone is hyper vigilant and fear ripples off the residents in waves. International terrorists are on the loose. No one knows where they might strike next.

And all the while Winter waits, apprehensively, for news or a check point to flag her sister, she pours over every report of every rumour of a Grimm attack or fight. Every mention of a group of huntresses. Whispers of a white haired girl are investigated the best she can with the limited resources at her disposal.

Attracted by the chaos and the simmering negative emotion, the Grimm are relentless. And more refugees from the surrounding villages pour in, each seeking safe harbour, only making it worse.

Winter has had many disappointing mis-starts, there are far more white haired girls than she ever imagined.. Some natural, others dyed. It is a weird trend, to look more like the Schnees, and it rears it’s ugly head every few years especially after a new story breaks.

It’s a few weeks later when the check points finally bear fruit. The bubbly blond’s atlas tech serial number pings. Winter watches the footage of the blond suffering the indignity of having to remove her arm as its scanned.

General Ironwood had told the Specialist of the sacrifice the young woman had made. The bravery she had shown was something to aspire to. If she had attended Atlas Academy or been part of the Atlesian Military she would have no doubt earned the Medal of Valour, yet here the two low ranking soldiers where refusing to give back her much needed prosthetic. The motions of an argument ensues and Winter flinches as she watches Yang break the guard's nose, guns are pulled as the blond is surrounded, before a flash of white hair and distinctive body language, the cock of the hip, the tip of the head fill the screen .

Winter lets go of a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding when Weiss finally turns and her face comes into view. Winter checks the time stamp. 5 minutes ago. She was really here, in Argus!! The check point wasnt far…. If she hurries she could make it in 5.. She could catch up.

Activating her scroll, she contacts the next check point. Sending them the footage and demanding that the whole party be detained if they try to pass.

She rips open the doors to the barracks where team JNR have been staying for the duration of their visit.

“Come on you, boobs, they have spotted them.”

Winter commandeers a jeep with Nora’s supportive encouragement.

“Yeah! Move it! We have places to be.”

With a squeal of tires and burnt rubber they careen out of the base and out onto the streets..

The military personnel at the check point are sloppy and unhelpful. One, a corporal, is sporting a nicely blossoming pair of black eyes and splint across his nose.. Winter stands back erect and intimidating as she demands,

“When confronted with the missing Heiress of the Schnee Dust Company what did you do?.”

The other soldier, a private, quicker on the up take, stood to attention. Chest out, eyes fixed on a point far off. His companion had chuckled..

“You know how many times people claim to be famous? If we believed everyone..”

Winter leaned down menacingly.

“Do you know who I am?”

The soldier beside him nudged him.. The corporal took in her uniform, her white hair.. His brow slowly knit like continents crashing together, his eyes became trembling saucers..

“You’re… You’re..”

Winter grinned like a shark.

“I am Specialist Schnee and I am her big sister!”

His voice took on a timbre as he reluctantly parted,

“We sent them with the rest of the refugees.”

“You .. sent .. my sister to a refugee centre?”

The private, in a bid for self preservation, brought up a manifest..

“The Marigold Arena… To be exact.”

Glaring, she elbowed the man out of the way, committing the address to memory..

Grateful she was one step closer, she addressed them both,

“Pull yourselves together. Next time I might not be so lenient.”

Both pulled off a sharp salute but Winter, with a whirl of her jacket, was already gone..

—xx–

Haphazardly, she left the jeep parked at an awkward angle, the key still in the ignition. Leaping out of the vehicle she rushed up the steps taking them two at a time nearly ripping the doors off its hinges in her haste.

She swiftly marched down a wide and bustling corridor. Spying a volunteer, made apparent with his florescent orange bib, she barked,

“You there, where do I find people who have just arrived?”

The volunteer looked exhausted and gave the reply with a voice that has repeated it a thousand times.

“All new people are in the main arena. Second door on your left..”

In the wide corridors, lines of cots were against the walls. People and faunus alike sat together, comforting each other or sharing what little they had.. One woman was helping a young and exhausted rabbit faunus mother with her brood.

Winter rushed head long out into the arena floor and the crowd. The noise was almost deafening. Rows up on rows of cots in lines of military precision. She began to comb through them, moving with purpose, showing people a picture of Weiss on her scroll,

“Please, have you seen this girl?” She was met with sad shakes of their heads. Others refused to look, no doubt not needing to feel the hurt of yet the potential loss of another young life. “Please!! Look… Just a moment.!”

A sudden flash of white caught out of the corner of her eye. She turned towards it craning to see over the heads and round the throng of people..

“Weiss! Weiss!” She desperately called over the din. Pushing people out of the way, a sense of relief flooded her as she reached out a hand onto the shoulder of the girl. Turning, a much younger face with frightened eyes looked up,

“Get off me!”

Winter let go, as if burned,

“I’m so sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

Frantically, she resumed her search trying to ignore the rising panic. If she let go it would engulf her, like the waves of the ocean in a vengeful tempest. Maybe she had seen wrong? Maybe it wasn’t Weiss at the check point? Maybe she had imagined it? Maybe she was still out there in the cold and dark of the Mistral tundra. Maybe she was hurt somewhere. Calling out for her..

“Winter!…. Winter???”

It sounded so real..

“Winter!!!!”

She looked up.. Ten feet away, Weiss stood, disheveled and dirty but alive.. Winter blinked, relief, happiness flooding her, swelling over the panicky flames. Both of them began to move through the crowd towards each other, Weiss weaving and bobbing, Winter nudging people out of her way so as not to lose sight of her sibling…. Weiss crashed into her, leaping and wrapping her arms round her neck.. Her voice breaking,

“Oh Winter!”

Winter hugged her round the middle, picking her up off the floor and squeezing her protectively tight.

“Weiss, oh god. Thank god, you’re alive,, you’re OK.. I was so worried.”

Weiss felt so slender and frail in her arms, feeling light as she dangled there. Winter felt her self shake and wetness on her cheeks.. Her voice came out thick and choked,

“I heard you were missing. I heard you had gone to Mistral looking for me. I tried to come back. I tried to come look for you… The borders..... And Father..... I’m so sorry..”

“I missed you too, Winter.” Weiss buried herself in further. “Are you crying?”

Yes, Winter Schnee, the Ice Queen was sobbing. As she pressed her younger sibling closer, she found she didn't really care who saw, she was too over joyed and relieved

“Shut up you boob,” Winter said loaded with affection.. “I’m just glad that you’re safe.”

(All RWBY fanfiction tagged under formerlyrunephoenix6769 rwby fanfiction, in reply to a post over @northforwinter Saved from my old blog)

Feel free to like / comment/ share.

#formerlyrunephoenix6769 rwby fanfiction #rwby #winter schnee #weiss schnee #rwby vol 6 #winter schnee fanfiction #schneesters #schnee siblings #sdc #jacques schnee #general ironwood #james ironwood

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dfwemelie · 5 years

Text

March 2019

I hate how awkward I am around Calvin. It's like I freeze up and dont know what to do or how to do anything. It's fine though cause we will get over it eventually. We both never realized how much we have in common and its pretty crazy. He makes me happy.

I got new shoes :D they are black and white Van's. I also got some new pants which is cool, they have holes in them UwU

Around 2 days ago I got into a fight with Gage cause he said that wearing all black makes me look stupid. I was really hurt by it and eventually started crying cause I'm a bitch and cant handle my emotions properly. I dont even know why Gage is still in my phone, I thought I blocked him. I have an amazing boyfriend now. I care about him. I dont need Gage in my life anymore.

This homework makes me feel fucking stupid. Calvin says he wants to help me with it but I have to figure it out on my own. Hes a good boyfriend. Tomorrow is his birthday but I didnt get him anything cause I'm poor :'). I'm sorry Cav if you ever read this.

Its Clavins birthday today :'). I cant believe hes 16. I still have a long way to go until my birthday, but that's ok. 145 days isnt even that long..

I told Calvin I was pansexual today and I started having a panic attack. He noticed and held me tight and kept telling me everything was going to be ok. Calvin didnt let go of me until he felt my heart rate go down. I felt safe in his arms, I've never felt like this before. I like this feeling

Today is friday, the last day before spring break. Yesterday I got super hangry and pushed Izzy and almost punched Kelly in the face. I've felt super nauseous all day it's weird. Also kinda tmi but I have the weird urge to makeout with a girl lol. My crazy teenager hormones are kicking in.

Everything hurts and I'm dying.

this is why I dont get attached to people. I fuck everything up. I'm sorry Calvin but I cant tell you what I used to do. (I told him lol)

damn I havent done this in awhile. its March 19th and I just found out Kaylie got braces!!! She looks so pretty. Also Calvin and I got into an argument last night but we worked through and we hugged the entire lunch period lol. He cares about me alot and I care about him, I dont want to mess everything thing up. I've never told my parents about any of my boyfriends at all, but I feel like I could let them know about him. It's weird but I've never had a boyfriend like him before. I love it, and him. He treats me like a queen UwU.

Calvin was sad today, I didnt like the fact he was sad so I grabbed his arm and didnt let go until we walked into class after lunch. In the library I layed on his shoulder the entire time and he didnt seem to care lol.

Cav just told me he might be moving so I'm doing a sad

March 22, 2019. Calvin ran away and I'm currently sitting in the hallway crying. I'm so fucking scared.

it's the next day and I'm ready to talk about it. Calvin got caught with stuff and him which caused him to be super pissed off. I ignored him at the beginning of lunch and I went to talk to Kaylie and left Calvin. I came back to sit in our spot but Calvin wasnt there. I sat down and Calvin walked by. Jack said something to him which made Calvin angry. He walked off and threw his phone across the library. I tried to go after him but he walked out of the library, I thought he would come back so I didnt go any further. A couple seconds later I saw him walking away and it was like time stopped. In that moment, my heart broke into millions of peices. I started crying and crying....and more crying. I cried for the rest of lunch. I walked into class while crying and put my head down. Mrs.Lawshe noticed and asked if I needed to go outside into the hallway. I did for about 45 minutes. During that time Micah, Donte, Aedon, Kristen, James, and both Luke's asked if I was ok. I wasnt but I said I was. When Micah came around he could tell I wasn't so he kept asking, I gave in and told him that Cav ran away, he said he would be back to talk to me some more. When Micah was gone Kristen saw me asked me the same question, she told me everything would be ok and if there was anything she could do for me than she would do it. I asked her if she could go get Avery and she did. When Avery came out she asked me what was wrong and I told her everything. She comforted me and helped me through it. Micah came back around and sat on the other side of me for a little bit then had to go back inside. I stayed out for a little bit longer with Avery until I had to go get dressed for Culinary. I went to the bathroom, got dressed, came back, and finished the last couple minutes of class. I went to Culinary and said exactly 7 words the entire class, in the middle I went to the bathroom and cried. Mrs.Langley say me and i just told her i had a bad day. I went to class and proceeded. The bell rang and Carlos asked me what's wrong. I told him and started crying, he hugged me and told me everything was gonna be ok. He walked me to my bus and went home. Calvin stole his parents iPad and texted me at 3:55, but I was asleep trying to numb my pain. I woke up and immediately texted him, we talked about what happened. we forgave eachother and moved on. Everything is ok now. I love him so much and I'm glad we could work everything out.

Todays my moms birthday, happy birthday mom

OMG OMG OMG. Ok so Calvin texted me saying he wanted to talk to me. So I asked the sub if I could go to the bathroom and she said ok. I went out there with Calvin already waiting for me, he grabbed my hand without saying a word and took me to the stairwell where the cameras couldnt see. We got half way down and he pulled me in close and grabbed my hands and put them behind his neck. He put his arms on my lower back and hugged me for a couple seconds. At this point I already knew what was gonna happen so I was kinda nervous. He looked into my eyes and asked if I was ready. I said yes (of course lmao) then he leaned down and kissed me. Like 2 seconds later it turned into us making out and I wasnt mad about that lol. We made out for like a minute until I said we had to go back to class before anyone would wonder why we were gone for so long. I went back to class and I'm told Kaylie and my face got super fucking red lol. Like a guy in my class was asking if I was ok and I just nodded. I wanted to go back and do it again lol, like really want to. But it would be weird if we both asked to go to the bathroom twice, plus I dont want us getting caught. When I got home Calvin and I were talking about it and I was like damn, he was a really good kisser and supposedly so was I. We cant do it until next week because he has ISS, but omg I can not wait until that day comes. Ok yeah I'll stop talking about it now lmao.

I gave myself my 4th and 5th tattoo over the course of the last 2 days, The first one I did waas a smiley face on my upper left arm. The second one I did just last night (which took forever btw) was the word “compulsive” of my left forearm. None of my parents have asked or I think have noticed them yet. That’s good I guess. I think I wanna tell them that they aren’t “sharpie drawings” and are actual tattoos on my 18th birthday, since I would finally be the legal age to get one. I think my favorite one I have right now is “compulsive”. I think it describes me perfectly. I’m gonna be honest though, it is not the best looking tattoo I have ever done, but that does not make me love it any less. I’m worried about drill team tryouts with my tattoos. Apparently I need to get administrative confirmation that my tattoos are fine and i’m allowed to try out. I’m also worried about my mom finding out. I don’t know if the couches are gonna ask if I have any. If they do, I absolutely have to say yes because they can be covered only to an extent. I don’t my mom finding out cause she might not let me be in drill team if I actually do make it (I doubt I will, but i;m going to try out anyways.) Calvin says he wants me to ove him once since i'm an experienced tattoo artist. I’m still not sure if I trust myself to do it on another person. I can do it on myself cause it’s my body and i’m ok with it if I mess up, but on someone else? I would start freaking out if I mess up.I’m gonna talk to him about it probably next week. I love him so much lol.

Calvin came over to my house and walked Chewbacca with me omg

I stg all of this is about Calvin. I went to check the mail and I saw him across the street lol. I knew he was walking around but I didnt know it was in my neighborhood. we walked me to my mailbox cause I was checking the mail and it was really fucking cold lmao.

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swayinghummingbirds · 5 years

Text

i feel like i need to blog more stuff out of me to research my own thoughts ignore me or help me either is welcomed.

so like i was diagnosed with mdd , panic/anxiety disorder so i know how it goes and how it feels and all that jazz. used to be on medication and not for almost two years. i can usually cope well since while i was on medication ifound many ways to do so. but now ive come across season affective disorder and i gotta say i am not a fucking fan. i cant bring myself to do the coping mechanisms because im fucking cold and there is no sun ever.

this time last year i felt the exact same way and almost moved back to fl but didnt want to give up on tn yet. but im wondering is it maybe time to give up on it? i have no family here. and my family is expanding and growing without me. which makes it worse.

ive been where i am for almost a year now and its been good. but there are no sidewalks like anywhere? im so tired of sharing walls. sure, its a townhouse and its pretty big and two floors and fire place but my neighbors are so annoying and for some reason in tennessee so many people think its absolutely okay to let their dogs out with leashes?

knoxville is a really cool city and ive loved living here but idk if i can stand the winter. and its just a mild winter, idk how yall in the north handle it. i see now why when i moved abck to pa for 8 months my mom had it by the time march came around and we moved back to fl.

a part of me feels like i might even just get bored with where i am after a certain amount of time considering how i was brought up. i have moved 17 times, which is wild for a child. probably why i have a hard time making friends too.

tried leaving work yesterday after i got my list done (usually isnt a problem for my manager but the ass. manager always fights me with it). i told him three times i already had 2 1/2 hours of overtime and ill be leaving when im finished but bitch never listens to me and acts like he didnt hear me say it to his damn face.Usually i ask just to be polite and make sure but this time im telling him. kind of snapped on him because the day before i just cried all fucking day and had that feeling in my stomach and felt the same way when i woke up. old me would have called out, one because the position i was in was easily fillable but now im actually needed so i go to do my job and if i get done early that means im working my ass off and sweating like a pig to get done three hours early. (and the girl who does the work on the two days im off never gets the shit down or sets the room or anything up in order to have a good morning because the whole thing is very time sensitive and its very frustrating. also she called out like three times this week and made my week shittier than it needed to be.) like bitch no that doesnt mean i want to stay and help with other things after exerting so much energy that i dont even have in myself to begin with. so anyways i cried and then the manager came and talked to me and was understanding because he is aware of my mental health issues and i forgot steve- the ass manager (assistant manager , but also ass because he can be an ass) was not aware. so all in all i talked to my manager and told him and he was very supportive and then i went to apologize to steve and he reassured me i was valued and adored here which was nice. and i had to basically tell him if im trying to leave early it usually means because im feeling like a crazy bitch whos on the break of a mental breakdown so. quit fighting me.

so anyways.

even if i did move back fl ive finally gotten myself where i wanted to be in my job but i guess if it was meant to be the universe will take care of it just like it did when we moved here.

a week before almost moving back to fl my grandparents came to visit and we were in crossville, which is the half way point from here to where we were living at the time and i was like hey lets try knoxville and the next day we went to look at apartments and as we were looking this place went up for rent almost as if the universe here, ask and you shall receive. because i was only looking at places that was in between the three stores that we could have possibly transferred to because i had no idea which one it was going to be i just new it was going to happen. and then when trying to transfer we my fiancees assistant manager knew the manager at this store here and said that he would take both of us and needed help in the area i wanted to be in and i was like wow amazing its all working out. and it did and it was great and then it got cold. and then holidays came. and birthdays came. and i ive learned so much about myself and i feel like yes i needed this part of my life. and now im not sure if istill need it.

we have a vision of owning a little home a nice big plot of land near the mountains with a spring and creek on site with woods around. if we kept it up and really searched when the time came yeah im feel like we could find it. but what if i still feel this way when were there? then weve bought a home and it would be harder to get rid of. i have a vision of my own business with yoga. i find myself in capable of moving between the months of decemeber and march. then what. even when i get on to the mat i cant get into the flow.

and what if we move back to fl. would he resent me for giving up on our dreams? will i be tired of people demanding my time and energy? will i bitch about the heat all the time and the fact that neighbros are every where? probably, yes, yes, and yes.

but will i resent him for not moving back to spend our lives with our families? will i resent myself for not listening to the feeling in my stomach? or would i resent myself if i did listen to that feeling and gave up on the mountainous dreams.

i know we would welcomed back with opened arms and i know not many would miss us here.

the mountains are beautiful and so mystical when there. i wonder how it would be to live there. i always end up feeling so creeped out at some point of hikes because i feel like something is watching us, and i know there is, there is always is whether its and animal or a spirit. but sometimes those spirits, or beings, are just so strong of a force. what if we bought a property with one of those that wouldnt be able to make peace with us? i always imagined if we ended up with a property with strong entities then we would make peace and ring singing bowls and plant luscious plants for them. but what if they hate it all. and what if our neighbors down the street end up being cannabilistic cult people? what if some animal tried to maul my dog (which already happens frequently, shes a chihuahua everything is out to get her). what if something happens at oak ridge? i had no idea i was living next to a giant nuclear power plant thing.

but then its like okay what if theres a giant hurricane that tears my house down (i had a tree fall on my house during matthew which is one reason why we left) or the storm sturge sweeps my house away. trey is scared of tsunamis, not that one has happened there probably ever, idk but it is a weird fear of his. surprisingly tornados do happen in tn too.

and a day like today, where trey is working all day and i have the day off. there isnt much to do. its cold out so i cant sit on my patio for a few hours like i would in the summer. i dont like to go shopping. i dont have a friend to hang out with, which is my own fault people im really not a big people person. i have hung out with a couple a few tiems, and idk ij ust would rather not. but if i were in fl i could go hang out with my brother, or treys sister, or the few friends i have there. or go to the beach and sit on my own, because its not fucking weird to sit alone there and usually you dont have to worry about getting mugged. i cant go to the parks here on my own. i cant take my dog for walks around here because there are no side walks and people just look shady af everywhere.

when i went to visit for my brothers wedding in october i realized how i did not appriciate the plant life naturally around all year round when i lived there for 11 years. i guess mostly because it wasnt until two years ago that i really got in to plants but omg i cant stop imagining what our yard would look like if we were in aplace where things could just be outside all year round. i would take cuttings of my plants andjust put them every where have my own little tropical paradise in my front and back yard.

i know this all is really sounding one sided atm but this time last year i was having the exact same visions and the exact same thoughts. and i thought about how what if my brother has kids and im up here well hello here we are now and thats happening. i feel like i need to be there. theres even a house for sale on the same street as him and all i could was fantasize what i would do to the house and how i would baby sit for them and be able to see my dog that i left with him because ultimately she was is but we co owned her together and just to be there. and be with my mom. shes living in orland with her boyfriend and i feel like the fact shes goingt o be a grandmother might sway him into moving closer, she hates the city and i imagine shes just as depressed as i am to be away and to be in a city where you dont feel safe to go outside alone. we are creatures of nature and both pisces and very sensitive to everything.

and what if trey and i have a baby at some point? we have no one here to help us. i was thinkg about how our wedding date is a year and like two months away and i have no one here to help me plan. and for a long itme i always imagined myself getting married at this place called sugar mill gardens, a botanical garden that i had always loved in my home town there. when trey and i got together we would pokemon go there and take clippings, and i still have those plants today. but then this new vision came where we would get married on our future property. i feel like we are still a long way away from buying a house here though. idk if we would be there in time. and since we went back in october all i can think about is getting married in sugar mill. he reproposed to me when we were there and that was so sweet and just made me want to be there instead for it.

this is very long but these are my constant thoughts that all happen at once and it feels nice to get them out to piece them together and not feel so overwhelmed with all them at one time in layers upon layers of thoughts. sometimes my vision even goes out and i dissociate and just work blurred vision cross eyed for ten minutes, who knows maybe its an hour. im back there by myself for eight hours a day idk.

#v long #nothing to see here #sorry for clogging your dash #idk how to break it

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notalk-justthought · 6 years

Note

all

oh geez scoobert

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? -im pretty sure my mom meant it

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? -preferably, no…

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? -idk

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? -yeah!

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? -don’t think so my dude

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? -uhh no?

7. What exactly are you wearing right now? -black jeans, black and white shirt, black and white flannel (so a gay emo)

8. How often do you listen to music? -everyday (*Everyday from hsm2 plays*)

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? -jeans, tho I wish i had more sweats

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? -it actually did… not in the best way but ive resolved that now

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? -uhh both? idk

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? -nope never kissed anyone (but i wanna)

13. What about ‘R’? -nope

14. Can you drive a stick shift? -i havent driven a car in over a year

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? -kinda, but i’d rather not hear it

16. Are you going out of town soon? -uhhh no

17. When was the last time you cried? -i cant remember

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? -not in a romantic way, but family/platonic way, hell yeah

19. If you could change your eye color, would you? -no, i like my brown eyes

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? -ha no

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. -uh idk its been pretty good

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? -yeah (also girls)

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? -nope

24. What are you sitting on right now? -a swivel chair

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? -no

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? -yeah

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? -…uh either Erica or Alex… i cant remember

28. Do you get a lot of colds? -no, i get a cold like once a year

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? -uniclo

30. Does anyone hate you? -i dont think so? idk

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? -nope

32. Do you like watching scary movies? -YES

33. Do you want your tongue pierced? -hm no

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? -….idk 2017? that was a year for me

35. Did you have a dream last night? -already answered

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? -like 2 hours ago to my mom

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? -nope

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? -i dont think so but who knows

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? (X) Doubt

40. Did you have a good day yesterday? -yeah

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? -nope

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? -not like a date, but just chillin yeah

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? -…maybe? idk

44. What’s the best part about school? -highschool, not much. college, do things without asking, you can just do it

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? -yeah

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? -no

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? -yeah

48. Were you single over the last summer? -Oh yeah

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? -barely

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? -nothing really

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? -no

52. Are you nice to everyone? -yeah

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? -there’s at least five people i liked i didnt think i would

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? -yeah, cheating is a shit thing to do my dudes, don’t fuckin do it

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? -more or less

56. Do you think you like someone? -not currently,,, i dont think…??

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? -no

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? -both, but it’s been a while since i’ve been good friends with a guy…

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? -when i was like 7

60. Do you hate anyone? -eh idk if i hate him but i wouldn’t want to talk to him now

61. How’s your heart? -already answered

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? -yeah

63. Have you ever cried over a guy? -maybe?

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? -idk

65. Are your toenails painted pink? -nope

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? -hope no

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? -i dont want anyone to cry unless it’s happy crying

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? -no

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? -my mom

70. How do you look right now? -uh probably tired

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? -uh idk,,,

72. Can you commit to one person? -yeah

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? -hmm no

74. Have you ever felt replaced? -yeah

75. Did you wake up cranky? -no

76. Are you a jealous person? -i can be

77. Are relationships ever worth it? -im sure they can be

78. Anyone you’re giving up on? -no

79. Currently wanting to see anyone? -i wanna see Daria, i miss her!! also my cat Ti

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? -finish coding a thing for my comp sci class

81. Last person you cried in front of? -uhhhhhh dunno

82. Is there someone you will never forget? -well im currently forgetting everyone that i know so ummm …yeah

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? -i dont like anyone

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? -laying on the floor looking at the ceiling and talking about something or on our phones and enjoying each other’s company

85. Are you over your past? -eh more or less

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? -once upon a time….

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? -no

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? -okay idk if he would be my first love and if so, definitely not

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? -so no one?

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? -no

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? -who knows my dude

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? -uh this one guy at the summer camp i volunteered at

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? -nope

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? -nah brah

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? -have i liked anyone this month? idk

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? -Erica is gayly attractive *wink wonk*

97. Who do you have texts from? -A fair amount of people..

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? - “oh nice!”

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? -no ;-;

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? -whomst?

101. Ever kissed under fireworks? -no fireaughreia BIRTHDAY GOALS

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? -yeah

#ask #one-for-all-plus-ultra

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cindaay · 7 years

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For the past year or so, I’ve been in an on-and-off relationship. It started online and very very quickly became something much deeper than I ever imagined. We never honestly had a “friendship,” we dove almost immediately into a full blown relationship only having known each other two months. We got along really well. I mean, insanely well. We are also very different people with very different lifestyles and goals and world views. Our proper relationship really only lasted about a month before our big explosive argument in the middle of the night that sent me home in tears, thinking I was never going to see him again. Low and behold, two weeks later, maybe less, we were back to seeing each other, but, we were “taking things slow”. “Starting over”. Nothing changed. For months we continued to hang out and make out and “not be serious” but be, basically, in a relationship. For a number of reasons I won’t get into now, we had a very turbulent relationship. No communication skills whatsoever. Both of us have our own very prominent mental issues and pasts that haunt us and make us lash out on one another instead of trying to talk things out. We knew it, though, and most of the time we would have an argument about something and then by the end we were laughing at each other and agreeing that we were both being fucking insane and it, honestly, felt like it made our connection stronger. But, it still felt like we were miles apart on so many things. And we were. We still are. Break up, stay friends, get too close, fight, break up, stay friends, get too close, fight again... it was always the same endless loop. And it made me miserable. That being said, growing up being the middle child in a relatively unstable household and being bullied for this and that, I grew to master the art of hiding my feelings. Burying them. Distracting myself with anything to avoid confronting my problems. This has carried over into all of my relationships, unsurprisingly creating a lot of problems for me and my partners. Our inability to communicate properly and to level with each other on the real, the gritty, the uncomfortable created and maintained a wedge between us. He also has a daughter and an unstable relationship with her mother - who hates me, simply because I was next after her. That complicated things. I don’t want kids. I don’t want to raise anyone else’s. That’s a huge part of his life that I really ...didn’t want to be a part of. He’s a drunk, too. He’s gotten better, but, it’s such a deeply rooted habit that stems from his upbringing. His politics are on the opposite side of the spectrum as mine. Huge deal to me. His career (or lack thereof) goals were not in any way similar to mine, and frankly I think he felt threatened that I have such high aspirations and very nearly the means to attain them. I say very nearly because the only thing really stopping me from achieving my goals is myself (thanks, depression!). He got a DUI two years ago and hasnt gotten his license back. If we’re going to see each other, it’s up to me to make it happen. Everything always took place on his turf - never mine. I know all his friends. They love me. He doesn’t know any of mine. Never showed any interest in being a part of my life. Only wanted me for himself. Even to present day, he gets hostile at the very mention of me doing something other than hanging out with him. And I know, I know it’s not just that. I know it’s months and months of miscommunication and perhaps broken promises and neglecting issues until they boil over and erupt and cause basically irreparable damage to the both of us. Also, I’m a gemini and he is a scorpio, so, let’s just consider that as well. Anyway, we broke up again and for the final time in, March, maybe? I cant even quite remember when it was but it was several months ago. We decided to stay friends, because, old habits die hard (or not at all). We did pretty well for a while. It was weird at first but we sort of managed. But simply just erasing the intimate, physical part of a relationship overnight is lets face it, impossible. So it wasn’t long before we were you know, snuggling and holding hands and sharing quick smooches. We continued on like like - “not together” - for a while. We hadn’t slept together in a long time before the break up anyway. We were, I guess we were friends. We got into the habit of not kissing anymore for a while. We got along pretty well, but would still have our tiffs and our blowouts when he would get drunk and be mean to me and do all kinds of petty things just to piss me off. I guess I should say that he’s also a heavily right-leaning Libertarian facebook troll who likes to argue with people and always thinks he’s right. He’s insensitive to “progressive” ideas. Makes lots and lots of jokes at other peoples’ expense and says a lot of really shitty, racist, sexist, elitist things. Calls Donald Trump “Daddy Trump” and thinks its hilarious to fly a flag with his ugly mug standing on top of a tank with fireworks and American flags in the background. Seriously sometimes just a very heinous person. Not the kind of person I would ever associate with. But I didn’t really know these things about him until it was too late. I had already fallen for the parts of him that fit so perfectly with parts of me. I was never looking for a relationship when I met him. I wish I had never gotten into one with him. Honestly. If we didn’t jump straight into intimacy we could have been great friends I think. I mean, hell, I kissed him the night I met him (I had also had 8-9 Bud heavy’s because I was so nervous and out of my element). I really set the bar. It had been four years since my last relationship ended -- and it did not end well -- and I was honestly excited that I had met someone so similar to me and so interested in me. I was leery of the situation from the get-go and knew, KNEW, that I should tread very carefully and make my intensions known from the start but... lust is a hell of a drug. Lust that turned into love but a very confusing love and a not-certain-if-it-really-is-love-love. To be fair I think all love is relative and no love is alike, in that something that is a deal breaker for one person might not be for another. You can’t define love is all I’m saying. When you love something or someone, it is for your own reasons and not because you checked every box on the “Is It Love?” list. But I digress. What I’m trying to get at is that two nights ago, very nearly exactly 48 hours ago, we were approaching an ice cream stand when suddenly it all came out and it all fell apart. I’d tried to end it with him a few weeks ago because I’m literally exhausted from trying to keep up with the whole ugly thing, but, through tears and compromise we decided (again) to remain friends. Since then, though, I’d been distancing myself (like I said I wanted to in the first place) and he just sort of ...lost it. I guess. I couldn’t handle the pressure of trying to be friends with someone who clearly wants to be more. I’d been fantasizing about finally telling him off and driving off into the distance, free and confident that I was going to get my life back. Now I’ve done that. I’ve cut ties. I blocked him on Twitter, on Facebook, Snapchat, even by phone number. I’d never blocked his number before. Even through all the other bullshit, I’d never blocked him. He tried to contact me throughout that night but I wasn’t having it. I was excited, I’d finally done it. I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He actually impressed me by sending me an e-mail the next day, something I did not expect. Just begging me to talk to him and to hear him out and that he would “settle for being friends,” “as long as [I] make it clear that that’s all it is”. He had a friend of his text me and ask me if I could just speak with him because he is so devastated. Eventually I did give in and I contacted him and I told him I was sorry things ended up this way, if I could go back and change certain things, I would. But my decision remains. Too many times have I gone back on the promise I made to myself that ‘this is the last time’. I need, for myself, to abstain from having any kind of relationship with him. I would love for us to be friends. I think. But it is not an option at this time. We never had a proper break up. He never got over me. I suppose I got over him, but I never truly made my feelings clear to him. I do understand that I lead him on in a lot of ways, and I don’t feel good about it, but, I think I led him on so much because he had manipulated me to the point where I didn’t think I had a choice. Our whole relationship was just sort of this cause-and-effect mind-fuck that both of our bad habits and inabilities to confront our issues perpetuated. It was all so messy. It was all so ...degrading on a lot of levels. Even though I genuinely cherished his company and the way we could say and do the same things at the same time so often and how even when we were fighting, we managed to make each other laugh. But I guess maybe it was my propensity to over-romanticize that kept me coming back. I hated how he lived. His bed is as old as I am, it’s not comfortable. He eats steak with his hands sometimes. Only eats carbs. Never cleans up after himself. Wears dirty socks several days in a row. There were always CRUMBS and DIRT in the bed and it would freak me the fuck out to the point where I had to brush off my side of the bed before getting in it and he would strike and attitude with me because he thinks I’m being fussy but in fact I am literally having a hard time breathing because your MESS freaks me out SO MUCH. His CHILD sleeps on a tiny mattress on the floor surrounded by literal garbage and guinea pig feces (because she would kick it all out of the cage and he could never be bothered to change her bedding or sweep the floor). He is always in a bad mood. Something is always pissing him off. Work, family, lack of money, “libtards”, you name it. Something. All the time. And supposedly I was this magical creature that could *cure everything* except that wasn’t the case. He would still be just as miserable with me there than if he was alone or at the bar complaining with other drunks. Nothing you say to him (of any real helpfulness) will change his mind or put him in a better mood. It’s useless. And he’d always apologize after doing or saying something fucked up if he knew he pissed me off. And I’d tell him “you have to stop doing that,” and he’d say he would, but he never did. And we just... we got too close. Everything the other person did was somehow a dig at the other. There was no trust. No real “friendship”. Just a couple of months worth of great memories that were only great because we had no idea how fucked up the other person would end up being. He always says he can change. He’ll do anything just to keep me around. I’m his best friend. He’s driven away all his other friends. But that’s too much for me to carry. I can’t be the sole reason for you to want to be a better person. I can’t be your sun, your moon, and your morphine. I want him to be happy. I want him to have a good relationship with his family and have financial security and have a place of his own and I want him to have a life he can be proud of. Unfortunately I don’t think that I really fit into the equation. Not if this is how we’ve ended up anyway. Having him in my life is not conducive to my goals either. It sucks to say it but he has been holding me back for nearly a year and a half. He has drained me of my energy and of my confidence and of my desire to rise above the bullshit. He has only furthered my belief that telling people how I feel is only going to get me laughed at or yelled at. He has shown me just how destructive drinking can be. And how crippling to any kind of relationship technology and social media and the internet can be. He has also taught me that some guys do know where the clit is. And that 24 is one of the greatest shows of all time. And that despite how unhappy I am with myself, nobody else sees me the way I see me. I’ve wanted to text him a dozen times today. Everything reminds me of him. I’ve had to scratch out a few things on my calendar since Monday, which was unexpectedly sad for me. I know that he is miserable. I know that he thinks he can’t live without me. But he has to. Tough love, right? Part of me thinks that we could just not see each other but continue to text but... most of me knows that in order for us both to heal and move on we have to draw a line and stay behind it. I literally didn’t know how to function on my own after my last relationship ended. We spent every day together for two years. We lived together. We went to school together. We did EVERYTHING together. He was all I knew. When that ended I was lost. We tried to stay friends but things were too sour and we soon accepted that we had to step out of each others’ lives for the better. Eventually, I learned how to walk again and I could fill the void with things of my own, experiences, friends, you know. To my knowledge though he is probably in a worse state now than he was then. I don’t want that for him, I never did. But it’s out of my control. In the end, the most important thing is me and my well being and my happiness. If desperately clinging to a friendship that never really quite existed just for the sake of the other person isn’t making me happy... I need to stop doing it. It sucks being sad. It sucks knowing that the things I want to say to him have to go unsaid. That he is at home or at work or wherever miserable and thinking only of ways to get me back into his life. I don’t want to make him more miserable than he already is. But I think that me stepping out of his life is going to eventually give him the push he needs to get his own life back on track. And when that happens, and when I am comfortable in my own skin again, maybe we can reconnect and build a friendship. But right now everything is still too hot to handle. I don’t know how long this hiatus will last. It could be years. But we cannot be friends with this amount of tension and fresh hot emotion between us. Still I find myself second guessing my decision. Damn my critically high level of empathy. I wish I could just sleep it all away. Wave a wand and make it all better. Go back to last year and tell myself to quit while I was ahead. But alas, I am only human and this is only a blip in my still-young life. Heartbreak sucks and it is every bit as draining and tormenting as it is said to be. But this is not my first and it is surely not my last. Anyway, I feel a little better after putting it all into words outside the realm of my stupid broken brain. The worst part is that all I want to do is talk to him now. Wish me luck.

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h-fragmentedfigments · 5 years

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Prologue

LONDON 1971

It was quarter to nine in the evening and supposedly, there should be music blaring out loud with the chattering of the crowd clouding the place. The atmosphere should smell like sweat and smoke, and the room shouldn’t have this too much light. Yet instead, Eris stood by the telephone at her parents’ house, pulse racing and breath hitching. This was not how she pictured her night starting.

She takes a deep breath, trying to form the words to say to the person on the line. She was petrified, her feet suddenly felt heavy to move, and her fingers are starting to feel cold.

“Ms. Gray, are you still there?” The woman who broke the news exactly two minutes ago spoke again, her voice sounding concerned.

“Yes, I’m still here.” Eris stutters as her eyes begin to brim with tears.

“It would be advisable to get yourself checked up again, just to see see if the baby…” Her next words became a blur as Eris tries to take in everything that’s been said to her for the past four minutes she’s been on the phone.

Before the woman on the line could even finish her statement, Eris beats her to it, feeling her head pound already. For fuck’s sake, what is happening? Eris thought. She was on her way to the pub where she should be spending time with Roger along with Freddie, Brian, and John who she hasn’t seen for over a month now. But before she could even step outside the house, the phone rang, where she received that god-awful news she’s never even thought of hearing any time soon; not when she was just getting into med school, not when Roger is just kicking off with his music career. But it had to happen now, at the very worst moment: She had to be twelve weeks pregnant.

“Th—thanks for the call,” Eris croaked, “I’ll make sure to go to the hospital soon.” She put the phone down before leaning against the wall beside her. God, she was getting dizzy. The woman’s words echoed in her mind and it was all too overwhelming, she couldn’t think straight.

Eris tries to collect her thoughts while pacing back and forth in the living room. She brings her thumb to her mouth, nibbling on it. Half an hour had already passed and she was seconds away from losing her mind. She and Roger had just received their BSC and while they’ve been in a happy, committed relationship for almost three years now, they’ve never talked about settling down, let alone have a child. Sure, marriage was brought up once or twice, but they have other plans long before that; plans the two of them have talked about before they even met in college.

A knock on the door abruptly halts Eris from pacing. She stood frozen in her place, terrified that she has to face Roger this early. Before she could even wrap everything in her mind. Her breath hitches, legs not daring to move while she waits for the person at the door to speak.

“Eris, darling, are you home?” Freddie hollers and relief quickly rushed through Eris’ body from hearing that voice. She bolts to the door, grateful to have this person out of anyone in the world in her house right now. She swings the door open, revealing her good, old friend’s face.

“Ah, thought you should be home. I was on my way to the pub when I saw your light still open, so I figured—”

Freddie was cut off with Eris engulfing him with a tight hug, “God, Freddie. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Well, can’t say I’m surprised. Anyone would be glad to see me.” Even without his face in view, Eris could picture the bloke’s smirk plastered on his face as he hugs her back. Typical Freddie Mercury, oozing with confidence.

They both enter the house with Freddie following Eris who is anxiously biting down her lower lip. She clasps her hands together, trying to formulate how she’s going to break it to him. Eris turns to face Freddie and parts her mouth only to be disrupted by Freddie’s enthusiastic clapping. He rushes towards her, a wide grin etched across his face.

“You will not believe who just phoned tonight!” Still grinning, Freddie’s warm hands held her cold ones. He paused for a quick second, letting the anticipation hold longer and continued, “EMI Records! They’re interested in managing us.”

It was difficult not to feel the weight in Eris’ chest getting heavier. Again, she should be mirroring Freddie’s smile, hugging him and congratulating him, and maybe even dragging him outside so the both of them can go and tell the rest of the guys. But the sadness and pained expression was evident, and it was only natural for Freddie to look confused.

“Are you alright, darling? Gosh, you look pale.” Freddie touched Eris’ cheek then her forehead to check before pulling her to the couch.

“I’m sorry… I…”

“Do you want me to fetch you water? Or do you want to catch some fresh air? Jesus, you look like you’re going to faint.”

“Fred, I need to tell you something.” Eris’ voice was low and somber and Freddie knew right away this was something serious. He sits beside her and stayed quiet, letting Eris take her time. She looks up to him and Freddie grew more concerned seeing the tears build in her eyes.

It pained Freddie to see her like this. Eris had gone through pain but never had he seen her this vulnerable and lost, and to say he was worried was an understatement.

“Darling, please. What is it?” Freddie’s voice came out as a whisper, full desperation laced in those last three words.

“I’m pregnant, Fred.” Eris couldn’t help but free the tears that have been long coming and shamelessly broke down in front of Freddie. She lowered her head down, struggling to catch her breath as Freddie takes in her words. It was silent for a moment, only Eris’ sobs contained the atmosphere.

“Have you told Roger?” was Freddie’s first question. Without looking up, Eris shakes her head, wiping her tears.

“I just found out a while ago, I… Fuck, Freddie. How could I even tell him?”

Eris leans down to rest her elbows against her knees, hands raising to cover her face in frustration. Eris knew Roger loved her, god, the man was obsessed with her, but she was also aware of Roger’s passion and fixation when it comes to music and the future he had pictured for himself and Queen. And the last thing Eris would want to do is ruin it all for him.

Freddie breathes out and holds out his arm to touch Eris’ hand. He gives it a tight squeeze before rising from his seat. He marches down to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboard while the damsel confusingly waits for him. Minutes later, he comes back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He sets them in the coffee table, pouring each glass with his and Eris’ favorite Sauvignon Blanc. He hands Eris her drink before taking his own and clinking their glasses.

“So…” He begins, crossing his legs, “What do you want to do?”

This is why Freddie is who Eris’ needs the most at this moment. Freddie and Eris had a fair share of tragic moments together and in those times, it was always Freddie who Eris confided more because of his means of addressing problems. He neither condoles nor sympathize. He refuses to lengthen the misery you’re in by giving words of comfort by saying ‘It’s okay,’ because hell, it is not okay, and you’re in this unfortunate predicament, so what are you going to do about it?

“Should I break up with him?” Eris asks.

“Are you mad?” Freddie almost spit out his drink, appalled at what the words that came out from Eris’ mouth. “Do you honestly think that loved up arse is going to let you break up with him? Not in this life, dear. Try again.”

Eris sighs. “Fred, if there’s anyone in this world who knows him just like I do, it’s you. And you know very well that his priority right now is his career—Queen’s career, to be exact. Not me, not this baby.”

“I’m very much aware, yes.” Freddie nods casually. He adjusts himself in the couch comfortably and takes a sip. “But I’m also sure of the fact that if Queen is his priority right now, then you’re the most important person in his life, not just right now; since you were kids, since we all met in Kensington Market, yesterday, today, and for the rest of his life, unquestionably. He loves you, Eris. More than anything in this world. He’d do anything for you.”

“That’s the thing, Fred,” Eris exhales, fingers fumbling on the glass. “I know he would. And I don’t want him to. He’s come a long way to be where he is right now. I’m not messing it up.”

Freddie stares at Eris skeptically and much longer than usual, not a sound coming out from his mouth. He raises an eyebrow, finishing his second glass this evening.

“What are you planning to do, Eris Gray?” Voice accusing, Freddie folds his arms under his chest and patiently waited, hoping it’s not what he was thinking.

Seconds turned to minutes. The deafening silence wasn’t helping either. For a moment, Eris held her breath, thinking long and hard of this decision she was making. She was not one for impulsiveness, but this was the only solution she could think of, just so Roger could continue with Queen without any distractions.

“I haven’t told this to anyone yet…” Eris briefly closed her eyes, leaning against the couch before blurting it out. “I’m planning to study in the states while Rog works on his music with you guys. I was supposed to tell him tonight, but… this happened, and I think, maybe, this is better for the both of us, you know? Maybe it’s good that we part ways so he could focus more on his career and Queen.”

Freddie kept still for a while. Obviously, he wasn’t delighted with what he was hearing. “Right, so what are you saying?”

Eris sat quietly, not responding. Freddie furrows his eyebrows together, seeking answers before realizing what Eris is planning to do.

“You’re not leaving without telling him… are you?��

Again, Eris gives him no reply. She clasps her hands together and and held them against her lips, not daring to look at Freddie who was starting to have a headache.

“Eris…”

Eris purses her lips together and interrupts him. “I will tell him eventually, but not now.”

Freddie lets himself fall to the couch, dramatically sighing. He puts his arm against his forehead and shakes his head. “God, you’re going to kill him. He’s going to be crushed.”

Eris blinks her tears away before moving closer to Freddie. She reaches to his hand and grips on it. “Please take care of him.”

Freddie rolls his eyes. “You two are a handful, you know that?”

Eris giggles while tears sprung from her eyes, probably the third time this night. God, how much she’s going to miss Freddie, Brian, and John. But nothing aches more than knowing she won’t see Roger, her best friend, soulmate, the love of her life, in a very long time.

#queen #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #fanfic

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easnuppa · 7 years

Text

When it is written in the stars. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Hobbit characters, they belong to their owners. The only ones i own is the one i created in this story. There might be strong scenes and language. Faenthor had been in and out of a coma for four days, now was the first day he felt strong enough to really focus on his suroundings, he looked to his right, he saw Elanoreth sleeping in a chair in the corner, he smiled, she looked so beautiful and peacefull, he turned his head to the left and he felt someone holding his hand, he was expecting to see his sister sitting by his bedside, but it was a elleth he didnt recognice, the elleth sitting by his bedside, holding his hand had forrest green eyes and long curly auburn colourd hair... she was pretty, but had a possessive glimps in her eyes.... she smiled gently to him and squeezed his hand "good evening my lord, i am so happy you are awake and focused" he pointed to a mug of water, it felt like he had been eating sand for a week. she pushed a glass of cold water to his lips and he gulped down the entire glass. he nodded greatfully. "who are you?" he asked, he was puzzeled by the fact that a elleth he had never seen before was showing him this much care and affection. "my lord, i am your personal healer, the king ordered me to take care of all your needs, so if you ever need anything i am at your service" she sat down at his bedside again, her hip pushing against his, he pulled himself further up on the bed hearing the unsetteling undertone in her voice. He glanzed over to Elanoreth, making sure she was still sleeping. The door flew up and the king walked in, the elleth jumped off the bed and disaperad out of the door by the wave from the kings hand. Thranduil pulled a chair over and sat down by his bed "Glad to see you alive and well, my friend". Faenthor looked at the king and nodded " Glad to see you are doing well too, your highness" he answered, though Faenthor didnt think the king looked well at all, he looked really worn and beaten, an unsetteling feeling crept into his heart, who had they lost that could cause this affect on the king, he was almost afraid to ask " are everyone alright? " Thranduil met his brown orbs "your parants and uncle is alright, Galadriel is well, your cousin Elladan was hurt but is up on his feet again now." Thranduil looked at the floor, Faenthor waited, he hadnt mentioned Faenith and Elrohir. Had something happened to his sister?, he swallowed hard. "my sister? is she alive or ?" he couldnt finish, the king reafused to look at him. Thranduil wasnt sure how he was going to tell Faenthor about his sister. He had been interigating the orcs and they all said the same. They had help getting into the palace, the two elfs giving them information was Faenith and Elrohir. If he hadnt been there, hearing it himself, he wouldnt have belived it. His heart was crushed. The king cleared his throat " Faenith is alive". Faenthor exhaled loudly, relieved that his sister was alive, but the look on the kings face was not promesing " she is alive, but?" The kings face was serious, sadnes was written in his light blue eyes. Faenthor embraced himself " your sister is accused of conspiring against the crown, when she is found she will be brought to trail for her betrayal. " Faenthor sat up in his bed, he couldnt belive what he heard. "you cant be serious? my sister, conspiring against you. the elf she loves? the one she is about to wed?" The king looked back at the floor, Faenthor could see that this conversation was just as hard for the king as it was for him. "she was plotting with your other cousin, Elrohir. They escaped under the attack, i have a company of my best trackers out looking for them." Faenthor knew that it wouldnt take long until they where found and brought back, no one knew these woods better then the woodland elfs. "what will happen to her? " The king sighed, "i know my consil will demand execution, i cant bare the thought of her dying, so i am going to make you a memeber of my consil and one of my advisors. I am hoping for banishment or life in prison" Faenthor looked at Elanoreth and then back at the king, he did not envy the kings position right now, eitherway they where damned to fade. "i wish you would have asked me under other sircomstanses, but to atleast try to save my sisters life i will accept your offer. But you know she could never do this. She loves you higher then life itself, and you love her as well. You both have told me. " The king got out of his chair, clearly done with the conversation, Faenthor needed to get better, and fast. He had to find out what was really going on. It was early morning, the sun was not up yet, Faenith felt like they had been walking around in the forrest for weeks, it felt like they where going around in circles, it was a foggy morning, and the forrest looked grim, with the fog so thick she couldnt see her own feet. The suroundings matched her emotions. She had asked Elrohir over and over to go back, she needed closure, she needed to burrie her loved ones, she needed to say good bye to then, she knew she would meet her true love on the other side, he was there waiting for her, she wanted to escape to him, join him, she was longing to be in his arms again. Everytime she closed her eyes she was back in his chamber, the night before everything happened, she was in his arms, feeling his warmth. It felt like ages ago. "Elrohir, i need to go back, i cant go on knowing their bodys is rotting out in the open, they need to be burried" Elrohir gave her a sour look, he had grew tired of her nagging "You know we cant go back, it is overrun by the orcs, they will slay us as soon as they see us. We need to get to Rivendell. When we are home we will send a company to burry them" That wasnt good enough for Faenith, she needed to do it herslf. When had Elrohir gotten so cold and distant to his family. There where something with him that didnt add up, that didnt make sence to her. She had a hard time beliving that everyone was dead, they didnt feel dead in her heart. She needed to get back somehow. Maybe she could wait until he had gone to sleep and sneak off without him noticing. Elrohir looked at her from his sidevision, she was quiet and looked like she was in deep thought, he knew he had to give her some time to grieve, but the patience was wearing thin on him. He had waited long enough for her, he was planing on waiting to declare his love for her until they got back home, but the nagging about going back, and her constant sobbing was getting on his nerves, he needed to open her eyes and see that there where more to her life then what they left behind, she needed to see him. He stoped and pushed her against the nearest tree. " You need to stop tormenting yourself like this, you need to get over him. If you think about it he was never truly yours." Faenith met his brown orbs, he had changed, she could see it in his eyes, the elf she always had considered to be her friend, almost as close as a brother, had now turned into someone she didnt recognise. "Elrohir please, dont say that. I understand you dont want to go back, but let me, i love him." He grabed her chin firmly between his thumb and pointer, he stared into her silvery eyes, the light was gone, he needed to awaken it, he leaned in and kissed her, she tried turning her head but he tighten the grip and pressed his lips against hers, he felt her hands pushing against his chest but he pressed himself harder against her, she was whimpering, why was she denying him what he wanted, he loved her, he had always loved her, he deserved this after waiting and being so patient with her. He tangled his hand into her hair and pulled her head back and claimed her now open mouth, he moaned into her mouth, this felt so good, finally she was about to become his. Suddenly a sharp pain flashed through him like lightning, he let go of her, grabed his groin and fell to his knees, he closed his eyes and tried to breath through gritted teeth, that little whore he thought , he was gonna show her that behaviour like that wasnt tolerated, she was gonna give him what he wanted. Faenith had acted out of reflexes, she had kneed him hard, she watched him for a second where he was kneeling in pain, but she turned around, she couldnt wait until he fell asleep to get away, she had to run now. And fast, before he got his streangth back. She almost ran blindly through the forrest, she cursed the fog for being so thick, she heard him shouting, cursing. She felt branches whiping her in the face, ripping her clothes, it was almost like they had claws and was trying to catch her, she forced her self to run faster, she couldnt slow down, he was probably back on his feet and chasing her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Pure terror ran threw her veins. All she could think about was to get back, back to him. Thranduil sat in his study staring into the fireplace, the only thing left in the room was his desk, a big table full of maps, and a chair infront of the fire, the rest was destroid from his inner rage. He had a mug of wine dangeling from his long fingers, not caring to use a glass, he just gulped down the strong wine straight from the mug. Almost a week had passed, most of the guests had gone home after the attack, he did not care, he had not bothered to see them on their way, to hell with courtesy. His people was already been marked as savages a long time ago. All he wanted to do was dull the aching in his heart with wine, and numb his mind. He leaned his head back on the chair a knock interupted his thoughts "Go away" he shouted, but the door swung open and the last person in the world he wanted to see marched in. "Are you just gonna sit here and drown yourself in your precious wine, while my daughter is out there alone and lost, an easy target for the orcs and goblings, and eru knows what lingering in your forrest?" Barathon shouted, Thranduil shut his eyes and tried to ignore the angry lord standing infront of him shouting his head off. "Dont you dare ignore me you faithless savage!" Thranduil just had another gulp of wine " What would you have me do, i already sent out my best trackers to find your daughter and your nephew" Barathon just looked at the king in disbelif, how could this elf claim to love his daughter and sit here and be so calm and careless. He was just like his father. " You could be out looking for her!" Thranduil waved him off "Leave me alone, you will get the word when my trackers brings her back" The kings arrogant behaviour made Barathon lose it, he grabed the kings robe and lifted the tall elf up from the chair. "You are not now or have ever been worthy of my daughter!" Thranduil stumbled up on his feet, Barathon let go of his grip on the kings robe and Thranduil stumbled back, gripping his desk to regain his balance "You, Thranduil Orperion, are a disgrace to the throne. You are nothing more then a drunken ellon who is stumbeling his way through life, with no purpose, i dont get what my daughter saw in you." Thranduil squinted his eyes to focus on the lord. "You call me faithless, what about your daughter?. Who so coldly seduced me while plotting with her cousin to have me killed?" Barathon scofed, "My daughter have done no such thing!, you are just like your father, pointing your fingers at others when your ignorance gets visable, hiding behind the power of the crown. If you truly knew my daughter you would never belive the filthy lies of an orc!" Thranduil clenshed his jaw shut, he was breathing heavy, the words angered him. "Maybe she did not plot with Elrohir to have me killed, but she ran off with him, she left me for him!" Barathon gave out a bark of a laughter "maybe she realized you wherent good enough for her. You two have been fooling around for two months and far as i know no results, nothing to show for it, while my son on the other hand, took him only one month to secure lady Elanoreth position." He walked over to the now furious king and pushed his pointer into Thranduils chest " Are you really sure your son is really yours? " He knew the king was fuming inside, but he wanted the king to release some of the anger and not bottle it up. Faenthor had been complaining about how the king locked himself up and ripped him self into pieces with his own thoughts. He wanted to provoke some kind of emotion out of the king. Thranduil threw himself at the lord, his fist met its target with great force, alittle surprised he had acted out in anger like that he looked down at his hands and back at the lord "do not drag my son into this, or the dead queen!" Barathon rubbed his jaw, alittle set back that the king had punched him, he was surly not expecting the cold collected king to lose it like that. " I see you are not so collected like you try to make everyone think you are. Maybe my daughter have had an effect on you" Thranduil knew Barathon was right, Faenith have had a hugh impact on him. He did not care to go on if he couldnt have her, he just needed to make sure his counsil ruled for banishment instead of execution before he let him self fade into nothing. "Leave my study, there is no point in this bickering. We will never be on good therms." Barathon could actually agree with the king on that. Barathon marched out of the room and passed a guard who bowed before he hurried into the kings study, shutting the door close behind him "my lord, the company is back, they have her. " Thranduil snaped his head up and looked at the guard, this was the words he had been waiting for a whole week, now his questions would be answered. Exhaustion threatened Faenith to give up, she had crossed a shallow creek and the cold water was now soaking her clothes, making them heavy, the coldness making her legs stiff, her skin was sore and she had felt a prickeling feeling and touched her cheek, her fingertips had been covered with blood. She had heard that Elrohir was behind her a couple of times, it was almost like he was playing cat and mouse with her, she pushed herself further, her lungs was burning and she was gasping to get enough air down to conntinue. She stumbled on a dead branch and fell flat on her stomach, she picked herself up, her feet was about to give under her, when someone grabed her from behind , she kicked and screamed and clawed her fingernails at the hands holding her around her waist. "Calm down my lady, we are here to bring you back! " Her head clouded by fear, she continue fighting the elf holding her, until another came in front of her and grabed her hands and made her look at him " The king demands for you to be brought back to the palace! Dont make this harder for yourself!" Faenith shook her head and her orbes scanned her surroundings, five guards, dressed up in the Mirkwood Palace colours looked at her with watchfull eyes." wait what? the king?, the king is dead." She was confused, the guard infront of her tied her hands together, this made her even more confused, why would they bind her hands, she was not a threat, not now when she knew who they where. " Why are you tying me up?" The guard just looked at her with a ghost of a grin on his lips "not risking you escaping" he said matter of factly. Escaping? she wherent going to escape, she was running back to the palace, she tried to tell the guard that, but for some reason they didnt seem to belive her. They placed her infront of a guard on a horse and they where riding in silence back, she leaned back on the guard behind her and closed her eyes. The whole thing was probably a missunderstanding that would be cleared up as soon as she came back, maybe Legolas had survived and was now the new king. They had reached the palace, it was quiet and alittlebit eary, she felt a great sadness lingering in the walls. She expected to be shown into the throne room or atleast the kings study, but she was thrown into the damp dungeon, she clenched her hands around the thick bars, not understanding what was going on. "Why am i being treated like a prisoner, i need to speak with the king, there have been a missunderstanding! I demand to speak with the king!" The guards looked at her with an arrogance she had never seen on them before. The captain of the guards came up to her. " You are being treated as the trator you are, you will be held here until your trail comes up!" shock and fear was written all over her face, she sunk to the floor, tears where streaming down her face. How had this happened, what crime had she comitted? Faenthor was sitting in his parants chamber, trying to comfort his mother, but he knew nothing would work until Faenith was returned to them, a guard came in and announced that his sister was now being placed in the dungen, he got up and his mother let out a loud gasp, followed by her crying out Faeniths name. He walked over to the guard "I demand to talk with her!" the guard nodded, it had been announced that he was now one of the kings advicors, this gave him alot more authoraty and respect among the staff of the palace. He followed the guard, as he entered the dungeon he walked over to his sisters cell, she was sitting on the floor clenching her hands around the barrs so tight that her knuckles was white. "Leave us" he demanded before he hunched down infront of her, her clothes was dirty and thorn, her hair was full of tangles, grit and leafs, she lifted her face and looked at him, and her skin was scraped and her cheeks was grimed by tears and dirt. He had never seen his sister like this. " They say i am to stand trail for treason" her voice was merly a whisper, Faenthor just nodded, his face serious but worried. "what happened to you?" Faenith sighed and closed her eyes. "I had just gotten Elanoreth and was talking to my mother, telling her to come with me and lady Elanoreth, that Thranduil had ordered his best guards to keep us safe, thats when i saw Elrohir, he said he couldnt find Elladan and that he needed my help to find him, i was conflicted as to what i was going to do, but when i was to follow my mother and the guards they where gone, i could not find them. It was chaos. I desided to help Elrohir, and maybe find Thranduil after and help him take out the orcs, Elrohir draged me out into the garden.." she paused " after that everything whent black, and i cant remember anything els until later, it was dark and i woke up in the woods. With Elrohir. I begged him to go back, to try to find others, but he said everyone was dead! I was heart broken. " she stoped and looked at her brother. New tears welled up in her eyes. " Is he dead? Oh please eru, tell me he is not?" Faenthor shook his head, taken back alittle by her story, but he belived her, he knew his sister would never comit any form of treason. He knew who she was speaking of, he gave her a quick smile. " He is very much alive, allthough not well, he thinks you whent freely with Elrohir, that you and Elrohir are one. He thinks you only seduced him to get information about how the palace was being secured. " Faenith gasped, she pushed her fingertips to her sore lips, Faenthor placed his hand over her other hand and squeezed it to give her streangth " how could he belive i am capable to cross him like that?. I love him more then life itself. " Faenthor nodded, he knew his sisters feelings for the king was real. "The orcs told him. We captured some and they where held alive long enough to tell the king that you and Elrohir had been plotting and trading the information you knew for safe passage through the woods. The king whent mad and killed them all " Faenith whimpered, so that was what Elrohir had been doing. The pieces of the puzzle started to come together. She looked up and met her brothers brown orbs " He was the one plotting against the crown of Mirkwood. He wanted to rule over Rivendell and aperantly me by his side, he tried something in the woods, i managed to escape. I ran the entire day and that is when Thranduils guards found me and brought me back" Faenthor cracked a smile. He knew his sister was a fighter, and that she was as innocent as he belived her to be. He needed to speak to the king, convince him that it was all a missunderstanding. The word that Faenith was now imprissoned reach Thranduils ears, he pulled his robe on and walked down the stairs to the dungeon, he stoped in the stares and looked as Faenthor was sitting infront of the cell barrs whispering with his sister, it was too dark for him to see Faenith face, but he saw her tangled hair and her clenched fist around the barrs. He took a deep breath to get the streangth to see her in this state, his whole body was aching to free her and hold her in his arms. He tightend his grip around the key, he had in his right hand. He walked down the last sets of stairs, Faenthor had clearly heard him, he whispered something to his sister before they both got up and he walked up to him. "She is innocent. It was all Elrohirs doing, ask her, she will tell you, she just told me everything." Thranduil nodded. "We will talk when im done here. " Faenthor left the dungeon, they where alone and he was suddenly unsure on how he was going to aproach her. He walked up to her cell, her silvery orbs met his light blue, his heart droped into his stomach when he saw how she looked. She just stood there watching him, he unlocked the barrs and walked in, before he knew it she had thrown herself into his arms, her arms was locked behind his neck and she nussled her face in the crock of his neck, she pressed her whole body into his, unsure how to react to her embrace he just stood there, his heart was telling him to pull her closer and never let her go, his mind was repeating the orcs words over and over. She pulled back and looked up at him, her eyes sparkeling from the tears in them, he swallowd hard. "Thank eru you are alive!" she whispered between sniffles. Lost for words he just stood there and continuing to stare at her. "He told me you where dead, that you where all dead. I begged him to go back, i needed to see for my self, i couldnt belive him" Thranduil took one step towards her "Did you plot with him to have me killed so that you could get out of our union and be with him? " His voice was cold and hard. She took one step closer to him, now they where only inches apart "No i would never! You are my everything. I did not even know about his plans." She placed her hand over his heart, like he had done the night before the orc attack "I have always and only been yours. " He could not hold back anylonger, he wraped his arms around her and claimed her lips, he knew this was probably going to be the last time he could ever taste her lips again, he took a deep breath and took in her sent before he let go of her and took a step back. " The counsil are putting you on trail for treason. " she nodded, her face fearstruck " what will happen to me?" Thranduil, brushed his thumb over her cheek to whipe away a tear " the best outcome would be banishment, the worst execution, unless we can prove your innocense." She pressed her shaking fingertips to her swollen lips "to prove my innocent you need to find Elrohir and interrigate him." Thranduil nodded in agreement, her next words took him by surprise " do you belive that i am innocent? " He pulled her back into his arms in a tight embrace, he kissed the top of her head. " i do". That was all she needed to hear. She closed her eyes and enjoyed feeling his arms around her. He stayed with her for while, she told him what had happend to her, and it made more sence to him then what the orcs had said, he cursed his jealous side that made him belive she could betray him. She had fallen asleep in his arms, he had placed her down on her cot and left the cell, he needed to talk to Faenthor and come up with a plan to prove her innocense once and for all. Faenthor tapped his fingers on the wodden surface on the table infront of him, the rest of the consil had just left the room, some in anger, some in confusion. Thranduil sat down next to him as he shoved a glass of wine infront of him "They are really out for blood" Faenthor said as he lifted the glass and took a sip, he had gotten accustomed to the strong wine after befriended the king. Thranduil grunted "Their life was in danger, they want to eleminate the threat, they dont know her. " Faenthor nodded, he knew the words Thranduil spoke was true. "you know it might help if you told everyone that you have bonded with her and that you where to wed her. That will make them see her in a different light. They would see that she was not driven by greed." Thranduil just looked at him, he had thought about it, he was almost tempted to blurt it out to the counsil, but she needed Galadriels help to make the consil members understand that he had all rights to remarry. "I will ask Galadriel to come talk with them to morrow morning." Faenthor sighed in relife "so you truly belive in my sisters innocense?", Thranduil nodded. She told me everything after you left, the look in her eyes made me belive her, though i have a strong urge to tear every lim from Elrohirs body for what he put her through." Faenthor gulped down the rest of his wine and agreed with the king. They where interupted by Elanoreth peeking her head in the door "may i enter, your highness, i have a request?" Thranduil nodded and they both stood up as Elanoreth walked in and sat down across the table. She smiled a loving smile to Faenthor before she met the kings blue orbs. "I have just visited Faenith, and i was wondering if it was possible to maybe request a bath and new cloths for her, her clothes is thorn, and her skin scraped, it will be very degrading for her to stand trail to morrow in such a condition?" Elanoreth had already promised Faenith a bath even if the king refused her request. Both Faenthor and Thranduil just stared at her, they both looked alittle embarraced that they had not thought of such a thing themselfs, since they where the first who talked with her, and they both have seen the sorry state she was in. Thranduil cleared his throat and grabed his keys in the pocket of his robe, he shoved it across the table towards Elanoreth. "Offcourse, but use my private bath, there no one will see her, it will be less speculation and talk that way. You can tell her to rest in my private chambers for the night, i will take her to the dungeon before sunrise myself." Elanoreth gave Thranduil a knowing smile and bowed as she left the room. Faenthor nudged Thranduil to get him out of his thoughts, he could see where this where going. "Do you really think it is wise, your majesty, that you spend the night with her, right before her trail, what if we cant find Elrohir and prove her innocense and she is to be executed or if they do find him, and they still vote for banishment and she ends up carrying your child? It is hard being forced to mend for yourself and even harder when you have a child to take care of. " Thranduil refilled their glasses, and looked at Faenthor with a ghost of smile on his lips "It will secure her place if she was in a delicate situation, they can not vote for execution knowing she is carrying royalty, and they can not banish her becouse of the same reason, atleast not until the elfling is born, that will give us enough time to prove her innocense and for me to wed her. " Faenthor cracked a smile, he really liked the kings thinking. He clinked his glass against the kings glass and they both emptyed their glasses.

#Thranduil fanfic #lovestory

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