#i dont want to hang out with anyone i dont want to see anyone i want to be left alone. i want to rot in my room

[haunted-pool-noodle]

DISCLAIMER i have not worked my way through all the eris dialogue yet so if she says something that contradicts all of this uhh. ill explode or something idk

anyway i feel like eris and hypnos actually have the potential to become besties when you think about it! like at a glance it does not seem like they'd vibe (and maybe wouldn't for a while) but i absolutely think they could

they both stand out to me bc (and honestly are both my faves bc) they don't really follow the same adherence to rules and responsibility that p much every other god does, particularly in the nyx family. hypnos constantly slacks off at work in hades 1, and the only reason he starts putting in effort is basically bc he wants approval from than and nyx. eris criticizes mel all the time for being so uptight, as well as nyx and than for being such strict rule-followers. they could both really connect over having someone else who is similarly opposed to that workaholic mindset (worth noting for eris, she refers to than as "brother number i dont even know anymore" and specifically doesnt care about him bc he's uptight like everyone else iirc, so i think she'd really appreciate having someone in the fam who isn't that way)

also, like. yes eris can be pretty cruel to mortals but hypnos is also pretty callous towards them most of the time? like he's pretty comfortable with the topic of death (which does make sense, given his job) but he just doesn't take it very seriously at all, like with natural causes he's just like "wow! sucks to be a mortal lol." plus that whole bit when he just suggests that thanatos just kill everyone all at once so they can hang out more like his ass does not care 😭 so i dont think he'd really care about eris tormenting humans, and in turn i think she might really like someone finally just being chill about it rather than looking down on her basically for being strife. also she'd probably find it funny how nonchalant he can be abt this, and in turn hypnos would enjoy her particular brand of chaos lol

thematically though, part of eris' whole thing is about how she feels ostracized from the rest of the fam bc strife is literally in her nature, while hypnos is shunned bc of his constant sleeping. both are pushed out bc of their very natures. but where they differ is hypnos prioritizes his relationships to the rest of the family and is willing to fight against his nature in order to do his job at the House and thereby impress/appease nyx and than, restoring his relationships to them at the cost of his personal happiness. meanwhile eris believes in being true to herself above all else, and if that means severing ties, then so be it. she mentions at a few different points that she's not going to change her nature for what anyone else wants, and that they shouldn't be surprised at how she acts, given that she's literally strife incarnate (an argument I've seen plenty of people give wrt hypnos sleeping at the job while being sleep incarnate). i think if they interacted more they could actually learn a lot from each other and maybe both move closer to the middle of that spectrum

also hypnos is usually seen as the childish one throughout hades 1 but eris is specifically stated to be one of the youngest in the nyx family so i would love to see some older brother hypnos content 🙏

#i fully hc that eris has curly hair but it's just cut too short to tell rn #bc with hypnos the fact that he's the only one in the fam with curly hair #is meant to show how he's the odd one out #eris is absolutely an odd duck amongst the siblings too #so i think they ought to be together in that camp #anyway i am unwell about them and rambling #hades game #hades 2 #hades 2 spoilers #eris hades #hypnos hades

[i-cant-sing]

Maybe a dancer reader with your ocs, like they want to still be on stage and fight about it with your oc because they sacrificed a lot to get there and don’t want to waste it. Like how would they react would they let the darling dance on stage with limited audience or?

Hmm, here's how I think it'll go:

Eros:

He wouldnt ever stop you from enjoying life, and he loves watching you dance. Its so graceful, the way your body moves, the emotions youre expressing, its all- so impressive. Eros 100% ditches his duty at the hospital, dresses up super nice to go to the theatre where you're performing, and of course he has the best seat near the stage so you could see your no.1 hype man cheering you on. He is so proudly telling anyone and everyone that "thats my girl!" "I'm dating her! Gosh, I'm lucked out!"

Dimitri:

Probably has a theatre/stage built in his mansion for you to perform in, and the audience will be him and his men. They're all there to clap and cheer you on, but in a very careful way so as to not make Dimitri think they're attracted to you, just admiring your dance.

Its kinda weird watching all these buffed up, tattooed criminals getting front seat to your little hobby and they're all looking at you in complete awe, giving you 7 minute standing ovation, hooting as their boss gets on stage and spins you in his arms before dipping you as he gives you a passionate kiss. Ah yes, Dimitri is also a skilled dancer, though you'll now have to waltz with him for the world.

Magnus:

Guess who brings the entire cult to the show? Its crazy lover boy Magnus! You didnt want to dance, but Magnus knew about your secret hobby and he insisted that you dance for him. You turned him down, of course because you hate him, but then a little threat from the cult to pull your intestines out to hang dry, you were all game <3

At the end of your dance, he's on his knees, along with his cult, and is praising the Lord for giving him such a perfect partner.

Theodore:

You're probably still in the dark about Theo being a spy/assassin, so you dont know that the reason the entire theatre is empty except for him is because Theo used his spy agency to book out the theatre completely for "mission purposes", and you just think that nobody else showed up :( You also dont know that Theo has some guys stationed outside the theatre to knock out/shoot anyone who tries to come in.

But hey, at least your deaf bf is all supportive as he claps and gives you nods of approval at the end of your performance, as well as a big bouquet and teddy bear.

Halim Mehmat Shah:

My man, my himbo bf, he brings his entire family and his bestie Mahir to the show because um of course, this will also be your family soon when you two get married (you're not even dating him atm) so why wouldnt they come to support you????

He's cheering, he's clapping, his family has these proud beaming smiles and they all join you backstage to tell you how amazing you are and you just feel a little weird at how Halim's family, especially his parents are looking at you with such pride- your own family has never looked at you so fondly. Of course, the parents made you take pictures with Halim (and Mahir was also dragged into these photos because he's their angsty adoptive son lol).

Later, you find out that almost all the people who attended the show were connected to the Shah family somehow, and they bought tickets for everyone.

Mahir Jahangir:

He'll look up from his pile of papers, silent as you whine about wanting to dance at the theatre downtown. Mahir knows that you're an exceptionally good dancer, but he doesnt know how to explain to you that he'd much rather burn the world to the ground than let any man look at you like that.

And since he doesnt wanna sound like an insane, jealous s/o, he agrees, giving you a nod to go ahead before picking up his phone to tell his secretary to cater to your requests.

When the day of the show comes, the curtains open and all you see is Mahir and his mom sitting in the front row. They're the only audience, and Mahir's mom is ever so cheerful throughout your performance while Mahir has a soft smile, pride and awe shining in his eyes. Of course, only at the end of the show does Mahir finally clap, giving you a standing ovation as he does so. All his moves, his claps, his praise, they're all calculated, no filler words or actions that dont hold significance are used.

His mother is going on and on about how much she enjoyed the performance, while Mahir is silently waiting for his moment to tell you that he just bought the theatre and is gifting it to you <3

Baldwin:

No.1 cheerleader, has the ballroom booked for you. You'd think he'd have the ballroom empty so that he could get a private show, but no. He has his court in there, praising and clapping at how well you dance, except they're all wearing blindfolds because again- Baldwin doesnt want them to see how well his "angel" dances.

"We can feel how well you dance, your Majesty!" They say to you, but you know by now that they're all just crazy.

What you dont expect is Baldwin to get up and join you mid performance, pulling you close by the waist as he leads your body, waltzing through the entire ballroom with such finesse.

#yandere oc #yandere ocs #yandere x you #male yandere x reader #yandere concept #yandere drabbles #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #yandere baldwin #yandere theodore #yandere dimitri #yandere magnus #yandere eros #yandere mahir #yandere halim #king baldwin x reader #baldwin iv

[samarecharm]

geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)

Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.

But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!

This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards

If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!

P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.

The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.

Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.

But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.

Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!

I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !

As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.

Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.

#chattin #answered #i have mentioned it before but i did NOT romance anyone #u know why? bc i literally didnt know it existed #i maxed out ann and the game was like ‘hey. this next decision is important’ #and i was like. huh. u know what. i have not looked up a guide until now. thats scary. i dont want to lose a confidant… #and learned that. #so uh. i really DID go through the game bot realizing i could date anyone. even the adults. #anyway. this was alot. and i tried to keep out alot of my other complaints #bc i have so many. but they are like. either nitpicky things or things that are issues in lots of games too #like the models suck in this game but i can look past that. graphics are always bottom on the list of complaints #and i do like the little animations!! i like akiras little tics #and i like seeing personas do their casting animations; shiki ouji and nekomata are my faves #i distinctly remember that being a thing i wished to see more of. #bc i liked thinking of what joker would look like fighting for Real #and then i remembered him being in smash so i was like COOL. ill look at those #and then i got STRIKERS and it was exactly what I wanted #i think #the game is like. #its bad. but in ways that i wouldnt call another game bad #like back 4 blood is BAD bad. its awful. the gameplay is bad. the story was shit. and the servers shut down within a year or two of launch #risk of rain 2 is bad in the way that it continuously obscures and withholds information to the player. its tedious and frustrating #but unlike b4b i LIKE ror2 and will continue to enjoy it. #bc the gameplay loop FEELS satisfying #and ultimately thats how i feel about p5 #for all of its faults; its fun. it has a gameplay loop that is consistent and fun when u get the hang of it #im playing on hard again since merciless is just me making the right instakill builds while i pick up my team over and over again #and theres still a challenge in having the endgame weapons and armor #its satisfying! and i think its satisfying bc I was given the luck of having this be my introduction into the series #maybe i would have a better opinion on the game if i came from p4. or maybe not! who knows !

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

something about how the before-there-was-anything-there-was-darkness-and-before-there-was-darkness-there-were-MONSTERS monsters are always this specific yellow when you see them blaine’s just miserable because their friend ate the ichor of one of said monsters and died about it. ;)

pink hat: oh-- blaine: What. pink: your aura is, like, terrible now

blaine: .... okay. larry: why would you say that?? pink: it's all yellow now

blaine: yellow's a happy color..

pink: not THIS yellow it's a deep, oily yellow- larry: oh, stop-

pink: THE COLOR OF MONSTERS

larry: are you calling them a monster??? pink: no i'm just saying there's like, monsters in their soul and bones,

#:) im such a benevolent little artist on the internet #if anyones aura should be monsteryellow it should be pep's but pink hat doesnt hang out with him. she'll have this same convo w him later #adventure time #distant lands #digital #blaine #larry #pink hat wizard #me: i will color this. // larry being the same color as his uniform: ;) #does pink ever wear a uniform?? guys does pink even go to the school. or do they just go to the cafe and auditions. #larry and blaine have to share a bowl. and a spoon. because i didnt draw any more. #blaine: (best friend is yellow): yellows a happy color :) #hey remember when pb showed everyone crunchy’s aura. and Finn was like I WANNA SEE PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S NOW:)!!! #and peps was like AHAAAHHAHA. YOU DONT. (sweating). guys. i miss og peps. #I’m all over the place. this is an old comic I just wanted to clean it up cuz I rly like pink hat. but it doesn’t make sense and that’s ok

[right-agent]

i got your back, if you got mine

a bunch of doodles about an idea of mine

#my art #ieytd #i expect you to die #agent phoenix #roxana prism #basically by sheer chance of luck prism finds herself at the doorstep of the phoenix #to where they take her in and hang out for a month or two #they get to learn. more about one another #humanizing the phoenix in a sense #get closer yknow #and do home brain surgery (half)joke #i’m bad at explaining this but yknowww anyone can ask about :]]c #i also think rox would tap a lot which bothers phoenix Idk i’m dealing with the horrors(sounds i don’t like) #FORGOT TO SAY this is a fic i want to write. eventually #i Dont write though so we’ll see how it goes

[identityquest]

lizzie get two wolves 👍

#strato.txt #oil painting #wip #im worried ive unbalanced the composition w the second one on the right tho... its so much closer to the edge #ugh whatever. aunt lizzie is the focus here #i wish i knew what she actually looked like this is just cobbled together from general features of my family #solid build... dark curly hair... bigass ears. she could be one of my cousins. she could be me #ok rq im gonna lay out the story in the tags for anyone who hasnt seen the previous lizzie art #my great-something aunt lizzie was disabled and couldnt walk very well and she died young #she wanted to see the second floor of the farm house real bad but no one ever carried her up there and she died before seeing it #they buried her in a long white dress somewhere down at the creek. we dont know where her graves lost unfortunately #the night she was buried something wearing a white dress walked into the house and up the stairs and disappeared #and sometimes you can hear her down around the creek screaming #somewhere along the line wolves got mixed into the imagery for me #my uncle told me a story about another 'white thing' that was wolfish and would jump on cars #so i just assumed lizzie was a werewolf my whole life #anyways. i think her staying after she died was a manifestation of her desire for autonomy. maybe #maybe if shed had modern accommodations she wouldnt have felt the need to stick around. or maybe she would have idk #either way i think death afforded her control over her own desires in a way she hadnt experienced before #and i think thats why she still hangs around the creek #i hope she would like this. maybe ill take it down there and leave it out for a night when its finished so she can see

[elegyofthemoon]

ok im running this on a different blog as well but been thinking about streaming again, but not off youtube the way i did before. just like a little discord server stream or something

also if youre a mutual!! youre welcome to add my discord regardless

#im gonna slightly test stream maybe for some pulls in star rail some time this week just to see how itd go @ _ @ #ive streamed with my friend before over discord when i was pulling dhil but i wanted to see if i could stream for other stuff alskdjaf #but!! im not super entertaining i just thought itd be a fun way to hang out with folks askjdfahl #i think this week test stream is just me streaming pulls wahoo #im also f2p so no spending we just live and die by choices #but if it winds up ok id love to try and stream genshin (force me back into genshin bc im a stubborn brat who is fighting for his life) #im not streaming penacony bc i want Me time while im playing #besides i dont think anyone needs to see me screaming my head off while playing LKJADSHLFKJHA #its already enough that ive been raving over it for a week now haha #im so exciteddd #snowpolls

[poltergeist-coffee]

i know its wayyy too far in the future because they already missed it this year but id love to see how they'd celebrate Lunar New Year on the qsmp

#its because im chinese #i want to see my culture and i know there aren't any Chinese speakers on the qsmp but like... let me be silly for a second #i dont know how theyd do it but i just think !!! it could be cute!!! #imagine they get special hats for the eggs and they try to lion dance #all the eggs get gifts/'money' from the parents like red envelopes #the quests could be like clean out your backpacks/house!! grow an orange tree/put an orange in an item frame in your house!!! #make a lanturn with the baby and hang it up outside!! idk !!!! i am just!!!!! thinknig!!!! #💬 one new message #qsmp #<- main tagging in case anyone else wants to think with me

[aropride]

nervous laughter

#text #was hanging out with a friend (had fun) but as his uber was arriving #i see my ex roommate (<- putting it lightly) walking back to the dorms with someone #and like. im nosy ofc but i also like. want to warn them #cuz i dunno if this is like. a friend or a new roommate or what but they’ve been alone EVERY TIME ive seen them #so this is new. and considering their track record. #i dont think i am super calm knowing they’re bringing someone back to that room. #im not sure if i hope its a roommate cuz maybe then its innocent #or if i hope its not bc i dont want anyone else to have to live with them #but like. god. #and they totally saw me n my friend looking at them LMAOO but like what r u gonna do. u cant do shit #im allowed to look in directions #but. yeah no. that makes me very nervous #and i didnt get a good look at who it was but they were like #5’6 ish short blonde hair looked kind of like they had a gender situation going on #(i love saying gender situation its my new favourite phrase) #but uhh. yeah. i need to find them i just need to like. know theyre gonna be okay #i want to warn them but that might be bad idea #so i dont know. i dont want them to not know but i dont want them to know at the same time. yk? #well. itsnfine. im hiding in [building] now and im around people and im safe and no one can hurt me #neg #🗒️

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍 #but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation. #which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what) #anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴 #i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.) #anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡 #but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦 #cheers to being fools universe

[enekorre]

How do i find lesbians

Like i really want a partner but I'm shit at dating apps and i feel like im too weird for normies. I'm great at making friends with guys which means occasionally one of them will make moves on me but like. Im not into dudes i dont think? So i need to make friends with lesbians. Specifically livestock lesbians, bc i want to live on essentially a farm. Like i want chickens and goats and i wouldn't mind a horse.

I feel like im stuck bc i want to get a house in the near future but i dont want to live alone. And none of my friends would want to live with me. So i need a partner (or two). But how do i even start to find them...

#M #Not to mention get together with them #I also have such weird 'requirements' i almost feel like it must be a tumblr person? #By requirements i mean I'd rather they'd be familiar with fandom and fanfic and such #And if they would have grown up on tumblr like me we would have that base in common #So not a 'requirement' but more of a 'i dont think anyone outside of this site would get me that way someone on this site would' #I've tried tinder bumble and happy pancake #None have lead anywhere #Okay it feels really weird tagging this post with the swedish tags but maybe someone will be interested lol #I live in svealand and work in Stockholm if anyone also wants to see if we might have anything #Anyway short about me: i like nerdy things like larping and cons. Gardening and being cozy. Creating things (sewing drawing building etc) #I like hanging out with animals my friends and my family (especially my niece she's about a year and a half) #Uuuh i love the sun

[waitinqroom]

thinking about when i had a boyfriend but before he was my boyfriend and we were just talking i tried to tell him about how this one girl led me on really badly (i still have a buncha posts on here from fall 2021 about liking her, lol) as friends confiding in friends . but then after i told the story he tried to convince me that she didnt actually lead me on and i was just delusional

#like. what. #she literally led me on. like. she fuckin kissed me and shit #and i was so into her. and she knew it and she used it until she got what she wanted from someone else and then she dropped me into oblivio #she also used me again near the end of summer 2022 when i was getting over aforementioned ex bf but. i dont talk about that one with Anyon #anyways back to the ex. he literally just made me feel so. unwanted. all the damn time #and then expected me to basically just be his mother. cuz he had fuckin mommy issues that he wouldnt acknowledge #when . that wasnt what i fucking wanted at all. i just wanted to Be wanted and that was the one thing from a literal boyfriend he never gav #he never even complimented me or any of that shit. and he was So bad at kissing and touching me lmfao #he was. such an unbelievably Bad partner . like i still get hives thinking about it lmao #and i still dated him. for. a whole summer #and a couple months before that summer #and then i drunk called him several times in the months after that breakup #i was just convinced that no one else would ever even be interested in me. lol. so i just held on to him for a hot minute #but. then i pulled the hottest guy in my town (not exaggerating. he literally Is. like its a known fact. everyone agrees on it) #and he's a much better kisser. #and he's so much more fun to hang out with . like every moment with him feels like an a24 film or a lana del rey song #and now me and my friends always just talk about the ex as a meme bc. hes such a fucking loser #so. fuck him #(fuck him as in fuck my ex and fuck him as in literally fuck the hot guy) #hi ellie if youre seeing this. #r

[tamagotchikgs]

last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here

#but. #even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16 #i traveled across the country just to see her again #and it fucking sucked #she ripped that wound right back open #which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come #she made all the plans #honestly the train trip there was nice #i got to experience a lot of cool things #but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life #just nonstop #and now ive finally been away for awhile again #but i still miss her #& i dont know why #but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win #maybe it's just my roll #say all these nice things n then immediately flip #she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there #& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO... #like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it #but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe #but anyway. again. i stayed #over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay #n she'd do it again #until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH #she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried #but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done #but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster #even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating. #what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me

[yuukei-yikes]

takane's self deprecating inner monologues mirroring the fandom notoriously misinterpreting her as far meaner than she actually is. *holds head*

#also applies to shintaro #but shintaro is indeed pretty mean in hs soooo #post str i think he'd also be dramatic and sort of a jerk but its like. hes justified (looks at retaining) #hs days shintaro. u will regret this. dont be like that. ive seen into your future. just be nice im begging you #anyways takane. i study her under a microscope #OH and when i say Fandom i mean older fandom #sinceas there hasnt been. Content. yknow. so theres no way of knowing if ppl still interpret her that way #<- i dont have anyone to talk abt kage.pro with❤️ i wouldnt know. i just see what ppl post. sometimes. #what was i talking about #oh yeah #i had a thought i really did. #but i lost it #basically takanes self bashing makes me so sad #shes right to a degree because takane is indeed a selfish person (glares at manga route 2) #she wouldve NEVER walked away. takane being jealous haruka got another friend 1. would not happen 2. even if it did it would NOT keep her #from hanging out with him. #shes precisely too selfish for that. she precisely likes haruka so much and wants to Be with him so bad she doesn't give a fuck what ittake #sorry for the sudden manga 2 bashing i just needed to explain. takane is selfish #and she IS also attention starved❤️❤️❤️ #but she barely recognized her good qualities. if at all #ugh. sorry. i was going somewhere with this. i love her #kagevinnie

[britneyshakespeare]

i have a very peculiar life where i've often, due to chronic illness and the resulting reclusive tendencies from said illness, just plain not associated with people of my own age on a regular basis for months or years at a time. but when i do go out, i'm, like, not an unattractive or socially unsuccessful person. well i'm not necessarily socially successful but i'm not unattractive. and i'll look back on like a certain period sometimes and realize that i had a lot of people trying to pursue me romantically, and i'm like "hey what happened to that? its been such a long while since anybody asked me out........."

"oh yeah i dont leave the house"

#at my work i am the kid between kids #i am DEFINITELY too young to be considered to strike up a workplace tryst with lol. at least relative to my coworkers #most of my coworkers are women anyway #im one of the only 20-somethings who works in the entire district too. #tales from diana #not necessarily to say that i desire to be asked out in fact im very uncomfortable w it naturally. as an aroace person #who only ever has the pleasure of letting people down. #when i was a teenager though (especially before i realized i was aroace) no one ever asked me out #i felt very undesirable/unnoticed bc of it. in retrospect ppl did find me cute they just didnt talk to me. #i was kind of unapproachable. if i want to be really cruel to my teenage self then i could call her a pariah. #whatever ppl thought of me... nobody talked to me. and i never talked. plain and simple #then i entered the young adult world and it felt like everywhere i went there would be some man i hardly knew #asking me out when he had just learned my name. very strange to me! #im like why should you do that? i realize it's bc these men want a girlfriend #& they see me & i seem pretty & nice enough. theyre just like 'she will do' #no i wont! lol #sometimes i think like 'have i changed? that hasnt happened in quite awhile' #yes that kind of thing has ceased to happen since ive ceased to hang out w new ppl. #in the past year especially ive made more deliberate attempts to extricate myself from various social spheres #and i dont see really anyone socially except for some friends ive had for years. #if one of them were to suddenly express romantic interest in me. well. boy would that shake things up! lol #they know me though. they know i dont love.

[tortademaracuya]

Banging my head into the wall would fix me I think

#im so sad so i want to see friends #but i feel selfish asking friends to hang out #and i literally was with friends today and still felt like shit so #i just feel so bad about asking to be with people when i feel so shitty #everything feels so miserable and depressing and hopeless and i dont want to make anyone feel bad with that #i dont want to become such a burden (again) that i lose all my friends (again) because no one wants to put up with such a sad person #i keep wondering why i even keep trying. at least when i could drink i felt smth else for a short while #haunted.txt