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#i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at
trashbaget · 1 month
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tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”
#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with#but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this#i can’t just. talk to the guy#if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that#i can barely even say hello to him#don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like#ah fuck there he is#okay you can do it just say hi#just say what’s up#and then he’s already gone#also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin#ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍#but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction#or like. an actual conversation.#which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or#i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what)#anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴#i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at#least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.)#anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault#too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair#but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side#where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20#mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡#but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number#who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21#his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦#cheers to being fools universe
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spinchip · 4 years
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I Hope We Both Die
Summary: Zane sneaks out of his room and goes down to the dungeons. He talks to Vex one last time before they leave.
Warnings: Ask to tag Pairing: Gen, One-sided Friendship. Wordcount: 2100
They stay in the Never Realm two days after Zane shatters the scroll of forbidden spinjitzu across the throne room floor, releasing his iron grip on the people beneath him. There are loose ends to tie up, decisions to be made, judgements to pass in the days to come. The nights are overwhelmed by celebration, feasting and fire and colors, traditional clothing and dancing and singing and drinking until too drunk to stand- songs are written on the spot about the occasion, The Fall of the Frozen King, sung with the bellies of men in rejoice. The land exploded in revelry, euphoria and jubilation as messenger hawks swept the country- the king is dead! Their message cheered, and we are free!
They burned effigies of his silhouette late into the night, bonfires made of wood and glory charring as fire and warmth are welcomed back into the land. The bloody fear of a country cauterizing and clean.
Zane spent that night in political meetings, shackled to a chair, as his friends tried to convince the nobles not to slaughter him.
He doesn't say a word in his own defense, nothing but facts- the cave, the amnesia, Vexs manipulation, nothing more. He stares ahead, eyes unfocused, and tries not to dwell on the sick look on everyone's faces as he describes the brutality against him, how Vex broke him and scattered the pieces. The hand the cuff is strapped around is unfamiliar, and he can't stop staring at it. He’d seen his reflection once since he’d awoken, a passing glance in a mirror as he’d been escorted by two guards, and the man looking back wasn’t him. This wasn’t his body, he hadn't done those things, he couldn’t have.
But he did. The static in his mind shrieked and howled, overhwelming and loud.
Grimfax asks him to stop, and Zane looks down at his hand that’s not his hand and the ice that’s spiralings from his fingertips and confesses I don’t know how. His voice is quiet and scared and he’s been broken all in pieces and the pieces are put back all in the wrong order. Grimfax asks him never to return, and it takes Zane too long to register that he's being allowed to live. He is put under constant supervision and released to his friends, guards trailing his every move, and while statues of him burn he sits in a bedroom surrounded by his friends with his head in his hands. He doesn't talk, he doesn't cry, he just sits while they flounder around him. He feel sick and wrong and nothing they say can soothe him.
Day turns to night and he lays in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, and when the sun rises he doesn’t move. No one has come to get him, Vex’s voice doesn’t seep through his door to prepare him for his day, there’s no morning report he must attend to. Why get up at all? Cole and Lloyd try to coax him out of bed, try to get him to eat. He can’t stomach it, only moving from his bed to sit listlessly in the fancy sitting room with his friends, silent and hurt and lost. Night comes again, the men outside his room peek open the door every hour to check he’s still there.
But he is a ninja, to his very core, they couldn't trap him if they tried.
Shadows cling to his shoulders because he asks it of them, sneaking down the halls without a sound. The guards are lax and relaxed, they scan their halls with tired eyes, they yawn and chat and joke, and it's all exploitable weakness. He slips by them easily, it’s no challenge, disgusted by their actions. His guards had been serious, and the fools that thought they could speak into his bedchamber with knives or vials of poison were caught long before they could get close. If Zane willed it, he could slip into the king's room now and reinstate his rule, all it would take is one blade.
His stomach churns and he feels sick immediately.
I made them scared, he reminds himself, they can relax now that I’m dead. My era of pain is over, I won’t harm anyone. The thoughts don’t help him, and he feels unmoored and unsure, disconnected from reality and his body.
The stairs he takes one at a time, carefully. He’d been down here only a handful of times, maybe less, when prisoners were too sickly or injured to be moved to the throne room, when their execution was too important to entrust to another. It was warmer now, a linger smell of blood as the ice trapping it had melted. There’s only one prisoner here, now.
The wood door seems almost innocent. There’s no guard down here, maybe a rotating patrol that would be in at some point, but for now Zane can walk right up to the cell and peek inside.
Vex isn’t asleep, sitting up in bed as staring watchfully at the door as he listens to Zanes approach. He blinks at the sight of him, owlish and shocked.
“My Emperor.” He says dumbly. They’ve stripped of his armor and status, plain clothes hung unfamiliar and strange off his frame. The bed is quaint, nicer than anything they’d provided before, with a thick blanket to keep out the chill. A lamp sits on the floor, lit by a flickering fire. It’s the only light in the room other than Zanes eyes.
“Vex.” He says, surprised when his voice drops an octave on instinct, deeper and more menacing.
The man surges from his bed to the little window between them, "My Emperor." He repeats, devoted and reverent and slimy, "You’ve come to release me. Now is our chance, they are drunk from their celebration, they have underestimated our strength! We can reclaim your throne!”
Vex rambles and his voice is like honey, a soothing balm on the frayed and raw edges of Zanes mind. Familiar and comforting and constant. The storm in his head calms, a rush of relief to the all consuming shame and disgust, the sick unreality he’d been stuck in slipping away with each of his advisors words, and Zane lets his head thunk to rest against the bars. His eyes close while Vex fills the silence with promises of power and retribution, drawing the tension out of his shoulders sentence by sentence. Specific words are lost, his voice running together and fuzzy and tranquil in a way that settles the static threatening his eyes. Zane had tuned out, but his eyes snap open when Vex’s voice trails too close.
"It can be like it was before." he vows, power hungry and opportunist, only a slab of wood away.
Zane studies him for a long moment and Vex doesn't flinch under his eyes, confident in Zanes loyalty. Why else would he come, if not to free him? if not to ask him to help him take back his throne? "they asked me what they should do with you." He says instead of freezing out the lock and letting him go, his voice reverting back to normal, “After they allowed me to live, after I told them all you’d done to me, they asked me what punishment I would pursue.”
Vex draws back, taking a step deeper into his prison.
"They asked me if they should execute you."
Frost crawls up the bars where he clutches them between his fingers, and Vex tracks them with wide eyes, “Execute..?” he breathes, shaking his head, “Is it evil to speak? You'd condemn a man for his words? I held no weapon!” Vex argues instantly, scrambling away from him as the implications for his late-night visit sink in. there was no one here to protect him.
“I was your blade.” he tracks Vex’s movement with his eyes, staying still as a statue as his element overtakes the cell.
“And what a blade you were,” He sneers, back pressed against a cold stone in fear, “How you reveled in bloodshed, I didn't ask you for that. My hands are clean. Who is the beast among us, truly?” he throws, and it hurts to hear more than Zane expects.
He stays silent, years of one-sided conversations engrained in his code so deeply he doesn’t know how to respond.
“And now you've come here to execute me. Your final act as my emperor. What's another stain upon your soul?” Vex grabs at the lamp, holding it close to ward of the encroaching chill even if the cold hadn’t bothered him in years, “And how poetic, that am I destroyed by the monster I created.”
That stings, white hot and painful in his chest, “I am not a monster.” He says, and cant hide the hint of desperation in his voice. His friends had promised him he wasn’t. He cracks the ice forming around his fingers, wrenching his hands from the bars and tucking them beneath his armpits to chase away the frost, “I told them to spare you.”
Vex doesn’t shiver, staring with dark eyes across the space between them, “That doesn’t sound like the ruler I know.” He says, stunned.
Zane feel something in him crack. He grins and it’s all teeth, raw and unkind, “The ice emperor is dead.” He informs him sharply, clenching around himself and hunching his shoulders, looking Vex directly in the eyes. “You are the last of his regime, and it will die with you, whenever that may be. The formling Chief and the King will speak tomorrow to pass your judgement.”
“Why are you here?” Vex flings in response, body tense, “Why have you come?”
Zane has an answer, it crowds behind his teeth and no matter how hard he tries he can’t swallow it, “Because I love you.” the confession tastes like blood, “You were all I had. I trusted you, my greatest friend.”
Vex spits, “If that were true, you’d unlock that door.”
“You deserve this.”
“I hope you die.” Vex tells him, venom in his words that burns across Zane's mind.
He slams into the bars, ice cracking out violently from the wood and stone, and Vex yelps, “I am already dead.” he snarls, anger threatening to sweep away his rational thought. Vex flinches, unused to the ire of the Ice Emperor, frost nipping at his toes.
Silence draws, and Zane pulls away from the bars again. The frost recedes, “I’m leaving tomorrow. I am going home, and this will be the last time we see each other.”
Vex doesn’t say a word, glaring at him between the bars. Heartbeats pass in the quiet, his internal clock ticking before Vex breaks, “What do you want? A goodbye?” he asks hotly, “I never cared about you. You were means to an end.”
Zane doesn’t want a goodbye, not really. He wants Vex to tell him what to do. He wants direction. He doesn’t know how to decide for himself anymore. Years and years on that throne, whispers from Vex’s silver tongue, attack Vex would advise and Zane would jump to it. He did nothing but listen to the whims of his general, he obeyed without question while believing all the while he was hearing a friend. He wants those years back. He wants to recognize himself in the mirror, to know the man looking back, to… to…
He wants to let him go. He wants to listen to Vex’s voice and allow it to wash out the pain, the confusion, the shame. He wants to forget all of it. He wants to believe Vex is his friend, he wants to believe he wouldn’t hurt him.
But he did.
And now all he wants is to kill him.
“Goodbye.” He says, instead of skewering him to the wall. It’s closure, maybe.
He takes the stairs back to the main level two at a time, and when he sneaks back into his room he stagger in, exhausted. He slips beneath the covers half a second before the guards check back in on him, feigning sleep, and when he opens his eyes again he has to turn away from the sunlight cutting across his face- it’s morning. He’d slept through the night. They’ll be gone before the Formling Chief makes it to the capital, he won’t know how Vex’s story ends. He finds, surprised, that it doesn’t really matter.
He’s going home today.
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drkcnry67 · 4 years
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you are
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A/N: going into the DC side of things. except another leap for my writing as well as my brain. this came to be in the middle of the night bout 2am so i briefly jotted a few ideas on a piece of paper in the dark and now im doing this… i hope this brings joy in these dark times!
Pairing: Kate Kane x reader
sentance inspirations : “what's stopping you now?" “can you help me with my tie?” / “can you zip up my dress?”
tags: WARNING THIS IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES! THIS STORY FEATURES LESBIAN (GIRL ON GIRL) SEX, I REPEAT DO NOT READ IF UNDER THE AGE OF 18. I MEAN IT! DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOUR UNDERAGE! YOU WILL BE VIOLATING SOME LAWS IF YOU DO! NOW DONT DO IT!
summery: not freaking telling
Masterlist
several years ago, billionaire Bruce Wayne disappeared from Gotham City, the company struggled but when Lucius Fox got murdered his nephew Luke struggled to keep Wayne techs inner lights on.
one evening Kate Kane walked into the office of CEO Bruce Wayne her cousin. she was determined to continue the legacy he had left behind in one shape or form.
she stumbled upon her cousins biggest secret, the biggest legacy he had left behind. she found the Batcave. she discovered her cousin was Batman. now she continues the shadow of the Bat. she continues to strike fear into the criminal element of Gotham City.
you had gone off the grid shortly after Bruce did, you werent sure when or if you should return but 6 years later you did, just cause you figured things would have changed and you had heard about another bat being in gotham.
you wanted to know if Bruce had returned. of course you knew your boss’ deepest darkest secret, you were his co ceo and his secretary. you had to know these things.
the penthouse you had been living in before leaving gotham hadnt changed at all. after putting your stuff down and getting somewhat settled, you decided to go and see if your workplace had changed at all, you decided to go see if anything had changed with Wayne tech.
the exterior of wayne tech hadnt changed though there were fewer lights on inside, but you swiped your key card thinking that no one else would be here that you would be able to go upstairs without anyone realizing that you were here.
kate: “someone just used a key card and entered the building.” Luke: “what do we do?” Kate: “we need to find out who they are and how they have a key card. It looks like they are coming up here. So perfect we will be questioning them in no time.”
Luke: “why would we question someone who used a key card? wait what was the key card access number?”
Kate looked at the computer again…
Kate: “4789932. why do you ask?”
Luke: “dont interrogate the person coming out of the elevator was the last person to see Bruce before he disappeared. his secretary, YN.”
you exit the elevator at that moment to see Luke and Kate in the room. Kate’s eyes lock onto yours, her gaze piercing your soul, you had forgotten that you were standing in the office of your former boss.
Luke: “you YN right?”
YN: “who are you? and how did you get in here? this is sacred space.”
Kate steps in front of luke and comes close to you.
Kate: “no need to be hostile, im Kate Kane im Bruce’s cousin. the one he didnt really mention, when he disappeared i figured i would use this place as my home away from home. plus my buddy Luke here is the son of Lucius who i believe worked closely with you and Bruce before Bruce disappeared and before Lucius passed a year ago. when my cousin disappeared did you happen to…”
you interrupted Kate, you felt bad for doing so but you knew what she was gonna ask.
YN: “no he didnt mention anything to me about where he was going, he was just being Bruce. he told me he had to leave Gotham and wasnt sure if or when he would return. i left that same day when he and i had last talked. we had our final conversation and i got on the next flight out of gotham and spent the last few years trying to cope with having lost my job, the loss of my best friend, and the loss of my life.”
Kate: “how long have you been back in Gotham?”
You had to set yourself down in a chair cause now you were feeling the vibes and memories from being back in the office.
YN: “i got back only 4 hours ago. i live in the penthouse in the gotham plaza hotel a couple blocks away. but there are a ton of cars and everything everywhere whats going on?”
Kate looked at you and then remmbered that you hadnt been back in gotham very long.
Kate: “tonight is some sort of fancy ball type thing that the rich folk are throwing in honor of the crows security team that helps the gcpd protect gotham well only those who can afford it anyway. anyway my dad wants me to make an appearance and be there and such so i was wondering if your not busy would you consider coming with me…”
you were shocked this woman this woman who you had barely known for a total of half an hour was asking you on a date… and you of course had nothing to wear.
YN: “i would love to but i have nothing to wear.”
Kate: “we can solve that… Luke im taking the night off… and whatever you do dont contact me at all. im gonna show YN just how much has changed in this city and with its people. and rememebr to pick us up at the apartment at 6:30pm.”
Kate takes you to the elevator and down to the garage. you of course realized that she had a motor bike and that was a total turn on for you.
YN: “where are we gonna find me an outfit on such short notice.”
Kate: “there is a boutique near my place we will stop there on the way to getting me ready.”
you take the helmet that she hands you, you put it on and strap your small bag cross your body, and get on behind Kate. you hold on tight as she takes off out of the garage.
the feeling coursing through your veins right then was something you hadnt felt in a long time. in about 15 minutes you both arrived at a small boutique. it was super fancy, you remmber hitting alot of those types of store when you were bruce’s secretary.
Kate: “lets find you a dress…”
you and Kate walk into the boutique and smile as you both walk in not knowing what you wanted like detail wise for a dress. but Kate spoke up fairly calm.
Kate: “can i get some help to find this lovely woman a dress for the ball tonight?”
Helen comes around the corner and stands immediately in front of you and Kate.
Helen: “such a fluent canvas, let me guess you wear mostly bright colors, but look good in almost anything, dont really care for heals but will deal with wedges, spaghetti strap, built in bra, and has to have a slit in the front for easy walking but can deal if it doesnt. how did i do?”
YN: “you got it. how did you know?”
Helen: “darlin’ ive been at this a long time plus you are very easy to read… wait a moment you remind me of.. YN?”
you had to think now… you couldnt think straight in the first place cause of Kate but now you were faced with this lady who suddenly knew your name.
YN: “im sorry you seem to have me at a disadvantage. do i know you?”
Helen: “its me Helen, i was your tailor when Mr Wayne was still here. God rest his soul.”
you now knew who she was and she hugged you welcoming you back to Gotham as she took you to the rack where she happened to have a mermaid spaghetti strap in lilac and in your size.
she pulled it off the shelf and handed it to you. you held it up to your figure and she gave it the thumbs up as she went to grab you a shawl and a handbag as well as a pair of wedges which she took a guess on the size.
kate and you went back to her apartment and she helped you get comfortable before she went to go get ready for the ball. you started to take off what you currently were wearing, and then you slid into the dress. the satin lace combo gliding across your skin.
you didnt hear Kate who wanted your help with her tie come back as you finished pulling the up but couldnt reach the zipper.
Kate: “knock knock…”
YN: “i cant reach the zipper. Can you zip up my dress?”
Kate: “only if you help me. Can you help me with my tie?”
you nod.
YN: “deal. but who goes first?”
Kate: “come closer to me and turn around so i can do up the zipper.”
you turn around and move your hair out of habit. Kate’s hands move slowly along your back to the zipper but they trace every inch of your back before grasping the zipper.
YN: “can I ask you something?”
Kate: “of course.”
Yn: “did you have any contact with Bruce before he left that would indicate where he was going or why?”
Kate: “no but my cousin was strong willed, if he wanted to do something he most certainly did everything in his power to achieve whatever he was trying to do. Ugh the zipper is stuck, do not worry I have someone who is very eager to help in any way possible but while I Call her can you do my tie?”
Just as you turn around you hear the door open, Kate turns to defensive in front of you. Mary walks through the door.
Mary: “chill out sis it’s me!”
Kate: “thank God it’s you I hope you can help. Mary this is YN, YN this is My sister Mary. Mary can you fix YN’s zipper on her dress it is stuck even I couldn’t get it.”
Mary places her purse and her coat down and comes behind you. While you trace Kate’s form grasping hold of her tie. Mary goes to take a look at your zipper, she spends longer on the zipper then you do on kates tie.
You had this weird feeling, like she had a secret, like she was trying to tell you something and you werent quite picking up the signal.
Kate had one of her hands on your waist, she had every confidence that she had found her one in you. Course she had heard her cousin mention his fantastic secretary but she didnt think you would be this gorgeous. Mary after a while exclaims.
Mary: “i have an idea… stay right there dont move…”
mary left the room for a moment this left you and kate to further ponder your thougts. kate still had her hand on your waist, this sparked something within you that you had not felt in years.
Kate: “do you have anyone special in your life?”
YN: “ive been single every day for my entire life. cause before i left bruce and i shared secrets with eachother that we soon knew would go with us to our graves. kate, im a lesbian…”
Kate smiles and is about to speak when mary comes back into the room, she goes to the back of your dress and fiddles round for a few moments before standing straight and comes back to her bag and coat.
Mary: “all done i replaced the zipper pull, you will be fine ill fully replace the zipper before that dress is needed again. now both of you should go Luke will be here any moment. and im hitching a ride so hurry up both of you and finish getting reAdy.”
Kate and you finished getting ready, the sound of a car horn sounded. this pulled you and kate out of your own admirations and into a state of lets go present to the public.
you held kates hand this sent several shivers down your spine but in a good way. kate however knew what you felt but she knew she would have to tell you her secret after tonight if everything went her way.
kate: "so i hope that this isnt too forward but how do you think people at this party will react to seeing you at the party let alone back in gotham?"
yN: "dont worry bout it ill just exclaim that im back to stop running from the past. Exclaim that I can't and I shouldn't run forever! Even if I'm still scared."
kate: "what do you have to be scared of?"
yn: "my future, the company I worked for for so long went awol after lucius God rest his soul and now I return to meet the cousin of my former boss and the son of his best friend. Geez I'm overwhelmed!"
Kates hand on your own had you finding the strength to make it through the evening! Your only thoughts were of how how you and Kate looked.
Luke got out of the car and came round to open your door so kate and you as well as mary could exit the car. The press got one look at you beside kate and had a field day.
After pushing through the crowd, making it inside the gallary you realized that the security was tighter than usual.
YN: “when did security get beefed up?”
Kate: “since my father became the leader of a security company, they are called the Crows, they became a thing after Batman disappeared. lets avoid any and all contact with him while here, he wont entirely take kindly to me having a date at this gala.”
YN: “does he know that your...”
Kate: “yes he does but he doesnt entirely approve of it. but you know what screww what he thinks. im just happy to not be suffering this event alone.”
You smiled you knew that there was a small chance that kate had feelings for you as well. there was speeches, music, silent auction and dancing. this was what you and Kate spent some of your time doing. was dancing and placing tickets into the silent auctions.
You and Kate were standing by the bar during the next few speeches, doing a few shots and having several laughs.
Kate: "have you ever kissed a girl?"
YN: "not willingly... Poison ivy got me once but batman swooped in and saved me after I sucker punched him while he was trying to save me. But I guess kissed and put under a spell by a bad girl doesn't count."
Kate: "nope but it was a good try..."
before kate had a chance to finish er sentance her name was being called, this made both you and her turn toward the voice, this also made kate immediately chug the rest of her drink.
Jacob: "kate... didnt expect to see you here tonight."
kate: "thats cause i didnt mention that i was gonna be here. as i found out a few new things today but you dont need to know as long as you do what you do we can never be a proper family. trust me being gay is the best thing to ever happen to me. I swear I'm not gonna give up who I am just to make you proud of me. If you can't accept me for who I am then how are we supposed to be a family. "
Jacob: "Kate you made your choice years ago at the Acadamy you don't need to remind me that we are not and can never be a proper family. You and your lady friend enjoy the gala."
Jacob gives you the snake eye before walking away. You turn to Kate both of you now standing alot closer before. Then it was time for someone from Wayne tech to get up and speak.
You and Kate were the only ones who were able and willing to represent the company on the stage.
Kate: "Wayne tech was started by my aunt Martha and my uncle Thomas Wayne many many years ago. Then my cousin Bruce took over when he was old enough. 6 years ago my cousin disappeared, 3 years ago lucius fox was murdered, today I stand up here with YN who worked close along side lucius and Bruce for many years before Bruce disappeared. Under her leadership and the help of lucius fox's nephew Luke we have plans to reopen Wayne tech."
YN: "citizens of Gotham, what Kate says is true we have plans to reopen Wayne tech, we hope to bring good to our city, continuing on in the steps of my former boss and business partner Bruce, may he ever be remembered as we reopen and continue the business that was the foundation to Gothams Legacy for years before and will continue to be...”
before you could finish your speech the lights in the entire building went out. you and Kate stood close.
Kate: “stay close to me, this is not supposed to happen...”
a few moments later a single spotlight on the other side of the room reveals someone standing there...
Hush: “greetings gothamites, right now some of the crows are all standing on pressure plates that will explode the building if they move. so i want the little rat who is associated with Bruce wayne to come forth and face the punishment for trying to shine that light again.”
Kate and you make your way through the shadows and around the harmless civilians to a hidden panel in the wall. stepping inside this felt very familiar feeling of security.
Kate: “we all have our demons, some of our demons hide in the shadows, for this lunatic out there im one of his demons. YN you know Bruce’s secret now im trusting you with mine.”
YN; “ what are you talking about Kate i have to go out there and stand up to that monster and prove my worth.”
Kate: “and you will have your part to play in this but so will i...”
you watch as she emerges from shadws into some low lighting dressed as a bat...”
YN: “so you took after your cousin in that respect. i am so happy that you have trusted me with this secret. thank you for that.”
Kate: “all i want you to do is go out there and keep him talking distract him long enough for luke who can hear us right now to silently and remotely disarm the pressure plates. now go, ill be along shortly. i have to go a different way.”
you leave the hole in the wall, you walk out there and throw your voice from behind the people.
YN: “who are you and what the hell do you want with me?”
Hush: “why dont you come out and face me so i can see who you are!”
You go further and a spotlight shines on you.
Hush: "well well well, let's get this party started.. Starting with a pop quiz: in Wayne tech the last project that was announced to be in development was what?"
YN: "a new secure wing at arkham asylum."
Hush: "what made the plans for this project go off the rails?"
YN: "the disappearance of Bruce Wayne and the murder of lucius fox."
Hush: "and what project are you guys gonna start on with your start up?"
Yn: "why does it matter to you you dick? You are the one that is basically holding us for hostage... Now either release the innocent people and disarm the pressure plates or the gcpd will be crawling over this place in a matter of moments."
Hush: "now now little girl, you were Bruce Wayne's pet weren't you?"
YN: "I was his assistant and best friend."
Hush: "I knew him once, but he was much different then... I for one am glad he is gone, he was an arrogant ass..."
Kate came into view a few times, helping to set up the room so the people are safe, you keep ‘hush’ busy for a few moments. before you knew it all the innocents were in a safe location.
Hush approached you rapidly and began to get all up in your grill.
Hush: “why are you not afraid of me?”
YN: “cause ive seen things in my lifetime that would scare even a man with no heart such as yourself. so do your worse cause im counting on someone saving me very soon...”
Hush comes up and starts using his fingers to trace your body. that is when Kate decided it was time to make her presence known.
Batwoman: “hey ugly, take your hands off the lady...”
Hush turns to see Batwoman who you know is actually Kate standing behind him...
Hush: “why should i you silly little bat?”
Batwman: “cause in a number of moments the pressure plates will be disarmmed, the crows will be free and you will be going to arkham. now pick on someone your own size...”
Hush turned away from you immediately before turning to batwoman he chucked knives at her while you stood there and watched.. Kate caught your eye and winked, just like bruce used to do if he wanted to pull a reverse batarang catch combo.
Kate threw the batarang and it landed in your catch then with all your strength and force your threw that batarang at the back of hush’s head and he fell straight on his face.
batwoman: “alright commander the pressure plates have been disabled, make sure this animal sees justice. ill take the lady out of the building. have a good night commmander.”
kate comes up to you and grapples both of you out of the building. kate’s father called to make sure both of you were okay. you ended up at wayne tower with kate now she still is in costume.
Kate: “what fascination did my cousin have for bookcases...”
YN: “it is just his thing, back at wayne manor he had a bookcase a piano entrance and several other things, he finally choose the bookcase to make things easy for his quick escapes.”
Kate: "do you want to see the cave?"
YN: "I haven't been down there since before Bruce left... I would love to see it back up and running."
Kate's hand on your own leading you down into the cave made you smile as the stairwell seemed to get brighter like something glowing at the end of the tunnel.
Getting to the end of the tunnel there's a path lined with flame less tea lights.
Yn: "it's beautiful... I love these tea lights!"
Kate: "I have to be honest tonight I had a hard time keeping myself from letting my heart lead my actions. In the few short hours that I've known you, I've fallen in love with you. I had Luke and Mary set this up. As well as the bed in the center."
Kate says as she starts de suiting allowing you to roam around but mid way through de suiting her eyes couldn't leave your form.
Kate: "it took everything I had for will power not to make love to you right then and there and when we were dancing it took all my will power not to kiss you while dancing."
You turned to face Kate both of you facing eachother now.
Yn: "what's stopping you now?"
Mid way through de suiting Kate allowed her instincts to take over. she left her suit half off ran to you cupped your cheeks and kissed you. this was the kiss that felt like it had happened before, but of course it hadnt but it sure as hell felt amazing literally breath taking.
after 10 minutes both of you broke the kiss breathing heavily before kate spoke in heavy raspy breaths.
Kate (breathing heavily): “this might be more sexy if you help me finish getting out of my suit.”
YN (breathing heavily): “turn around and i will...”
Kate turns around, you place small seductive kisses trailing her neck, to her shoulder, down her spine earning small soft moans of approval from Kate. your hands moved to her wait and began to slide the suit from her waist down her legs you still leaving kisses ever couple seconds.
once the suit was off Kate threw it across the table in the corner, and took you closer to the bed as she started to use her hands once more to roam over your body, feeling every inch of it.
Kate: “you are still wearing far too much clothing... turn around time for me to help you get out of what you are wearing...”
YN: “i promise you that this is probably way less than you were wearing.”
Kate: “turn around for me..”
you turned around and smiled, kates hands on the back of your dress using the make shift pully for the zipper that mary had put on to undo the dress. but Kate kissed your neck earning soft moans from you.
Kate: “dont forget we are the future of wayne tech, and united we stand..”
YN: “you are so hot, i got all throat dryed and tongue tied when i first met you. i was shell shocked... but im damn well glad you were the one in the building.”
the fabric slid off your body on its own, all kate had to do was make sure you didnt trip over the dress. tossing that with the suit you are in the caressed embrace of Kate.
Kate: “so beautiful...”
you turn around lifting Kate’s tank top off her body. her hands making quick work to slide off her shorts. both of you now scooting onto the bed, Kate was on top of you quicker than you were fully laying down.
Kate: “now this is how love is supposed to be...”
Kate grinded her way onto you, pulling off 69 and just general pleasuring sensual acts. you both were screaming and moaning in pleasure.
Kate: “you know i dont think ive had this much passion in sex in a long time.”
YN: “i know what you mean and i am perfectly content staying right here for like ever...”
kate had been using a double strap on so it pleasured you both. she hadnt puled out or really stopped moving, you both were just laying in a way that you could have a conversation.
YN: “how did i get so lucky to end up with you?”
Kate: “no idea but it was probably the same thing that brought me to you. i love you...”
You cupped her cheeks making sure your noses were touching and that was how your night of perfect bliss continued with the strap on and the vigerous sexual positions and the oral sex you received from Kate.
After several hours of that you both fell asleep cuddled together in perfect harmony. Morning soon fell, the bat computer started its morning routine, the lights were still romantic.
In those moments things seemed simple, both of you had forgotten the horrific but wonderful time at the gala the night before.
Kate and you stirred at the same time, opening your eyes only to start grinding the strap on again, not alot of moving from where you were nor from under the covers.
You were still going at it moments later when Luke and Mary began to decend into the cave. Neither you nor Kate noticed as you were too pre occupied.
The bat computer spoke suddenly.
Computer: "sir Luke and lady Mary, madame Kate and mistress YN are still rolling in the sheets, they also just woke up shall I put up the protective shield?"
Mary: "yes please so we don't have to see anything.. But there is a question I have who installed those shield and why?"
Computer: "master Wayne did for his rendezvous with miss Kyle! Whenever they would happen. "
Luke: "did my father know? About Bruce and Selena?"
Computer: "oh yes everyone eventually knew cause they got engaged in secret. To show Gotham that Selina had truly changed her spots."
Luke and Mary were shocked they didnt think that someone would happen upon anything like that in the cave... though like they were about to see the shield would reveal as though nothing was on the other side of the wall...
Luke: "did bruce leave anything indicating where he was going or why he left?"
computer: "that information is classified except to those whose code names are on the inscription."
Mary: "is it safe to go down now?"
computer: "yes go on..."
meanwhile you and Kate were still engaged in the sensual arts. passion flowing gracefully from you both. neither of you noticing the shield nor hearing the voices from luke and mary, nor realizing that there was work to be done.
about an hour later you and kate were both finally satisfied. you both threw on the robes sitting near by and smiled happily walking out from behind the shield. only to be confronted with glares from Luke and Mary...
Luke: “glad you both could finally join us... oh by the way, great idea for starting wayne tech again that is a brilliant plan...”
Mary: “where are your formal wear so i can repair that zipper and whatever else needs on it...”
YN: “its on the couch over near the shield. just dont look back there it aint pretty.”
Kate smiled cause she could only imagine what kind of horrors they would see if they looked. 
Kate: “did you find anything on that Hush character from the gala last night?”
Luke: “sadly no but i can say that whoever he is is extremely hard to place. plus there is no mention of anyone named Hush in Bruce’s files anywhere.”
YN: “so he is someone new thats okay cause i am the one that took down Poison ivy, that was one of the only missions i ever did with bruce i had my own suit and everything. Bruce taught me everything he knew. but in those moments ivy had no idea that i was the same girl she had tried to force to kill Batman. then i turned around and clipped her with a batarang to the back of the head and brought her ass to arkham. it was a glorious day. it was also the same day that Bruce told me he was leaving. or well that he was preparing too. he told me for what was coming neither of us should be in the city. so when he left i grabbed what few belongings i had and i left gotham and had been in Star City till yesterday.”
Kate went to mary who handed Kate something which peaked your curiousity, but you werent gonna pry you knew when the time was right Kate would do what her heart commanded. 
~1 and a half years later... success had been accross yours and Kates features as you both were running sucessfully 3 businesses. the reopening of wayne tech had gone smoothly. then there was the real estate firm that Kate had been running before you got to gotham as well as a nightclub. a little excessive but its a welcome reprieve with a fully stocked bar. you and Kate were happily living in your penthouse together. you had left alot of it alone due to both of you missed Bruce and wanted him to be honored.~
Kate: “YN, did you put..”
YN: “top drawer in the middle cabinet, Kate did you...”
Kate: “its in your desk in the center drawer...”
you and Kate were functional working happy couple. this was to be the night of the wayne tech gala. you both had put one on as tghe grand reopening and now its a yearly thing. to showcase everything that is in development for the people of gotham. 
Kate: “can you believe that its already been almost 2 years...”
YN: “can you believe that i never thought i would have ever been working for wayne tech again.”
kate: “can you believe that you are the most beautiful woman at this party.”
YN: “your not so bad yourself.”
Kate smiled as she came up behind you to help you do up your dress. 
Kate: “do you think bruce would be proud of what we have done and are doing?”
YN: “i think whereever he is he is very proud of us... and even better he would be honored that we took this mantle and have upheld it for the good of the Wayne family legacy.”
thats when an intruder alert sounded. it was one of the silent alarms on the wayne manor property. 
YN: “we should go as ourselves not in costume.”
Kate: “ill call Mary and Luke and have them stall for time at the gala. we will be there in plenty of time. but your right as usual.”
YN: “good thing we travel to impress.”
Kate: “we also travel combat ready... i get now why you always have slits in your dresses. lets go.”
Kate and you got onto Kates bike and drove off towards the detection. ah yes wayne manor now declared sacred land and only for family, it was unusual that someone would dare to venture onto the property. 
upon arrival at the gate you and Kate parked and got off the bike leaving your helmets and hiding the valuables in the safe installed on the bike. 
Kate: “keep your eyes open something isnt right.”
YN: “dont worry whatever it is we will make sure to handle this.”
Kate smiles and keeps you close while walking further onto the property. you remembered the last time you had been here before bruce left and disappeared. 
Kate: “see anything yet?”
YN: “not yet... wait there is a light inside...”
you start running towards the house Kate follows in suit, you start going up the steps but stop as Kate comes up behind you and grabs your hand both of you walking up those stairs together.
Kate and you each opened one of the double doors, both of you walking inside the light seemingly brighter. you could hear rustling and creeking of floors. you and Kate wanted to charge in “guns” blazing but you were in civilian form not a good idea. 
you both stop outside the door to the room, you hear a familiar voice. no it cant be... 
Kate: “whoever that is, is going to be tried for trespassing...”
except you knew that voice... you knew who it was...
YN: “dont be rash babe, i recognize the voice.”
you open the door with Kate on your heels.
YN: “talia...”
the figure turns around and remves her hood.
Talia: “its been a long time YN. how have you been?”
YN: “to be fair its been a gong show... what with having just come back to gotham last night after being in star city for the last several years.”
Talia: “i guess it has been a long long time. whose your friend?”
Kate holds her hand towards talia and stands tall beside you.
Kate: “kate kane, im Bruce’s cousin. im as of 1 and a half years ago  YN’s  girlfriend.”
Talia shakes kates hand. 
YN: “what are you doing here talia?”
Talia: “i mean no disrespect but something seemed wrong about Bruce disappearing. something felt wrong and if i can find out why it felt wrong then i can find out where Bruce disappeared to.”
YN: “keep us informed, we have an expo to get too.. we are so late...”
Kate: “if you wish there will be a ticket for you at the door Talia. it was very nice to meet you.”
Talia: “as it was to meet you Kate.”
You and Kate leave Talia to what she was doing and head back to the bike. Tears fell from your eyes thinking about Bruce and how proud he would be of both you and Kate.
Kate: "thinking about Bruce?"
YN: "I just wish he were here to see what we have accomplished. But let's get to the expo and reveal the plans for the developments that we have come up with."
Kate hands you your helmet before hse puts hers on as you both get back on the bike and head to the expo. Parking in the parking garage you make the notion that you both got dirt on your outfits.
Kate: "shit Mary is gonna kill us... She might have planned for something like this... Hold on let me..."
before kate could call Mary, mary rang Kate’s cell...
Kate: “Mary thank god its you listen YN and i had a little run in with some dirt both our outfits are no longer presentable do you have any spare outfits.”
Mary yells at luke and then speaks a moment.
mary: “meet me in the washrooms in the lobby... i will have them there shortly..”
you and Kate sneak your way through the corridors and head into the lobby washrooms. anxiously awaiting Mary’s arrival with your replacement outfits, you made sure that you kept a level head. 
Kate: “you look a little tense love...”
YN: “i wanted this night to go smoooth and now we have to do a costume change only a few short moments before we have to be on stage for the toasts. this is not how this night was supposed to go...”
Kate: “not to worry, there is still plenty of time for things to go right.”
Mary walks in a while later, you look at Kate with anticipation for the way that you were hoping this night would go was not what it seemed. 
Mary: okay whose first for their outfit change... 
Kate: just give me the outfits Mary, you and Luke need to make sure no one comes in here for a few moments while we get changed... once we are changed ill knock on the door and you and come and collect the outfits. 
Mary: that sounds do-able. just both of you hurry up people are asking for you, important people. 
you and Kate were not sure who could be out there but you both were certain that this night was gonna be a rocking good time. 
getting into your clean outfits you both realize that you both are wearing your costume colors. Kate knocks on the door once you both are presentable, mary walks in.
Mary: you both look spectacular!
Kate: ya in our costume colors what is going on?
Mary: luke developed a microchip to change anything into your costumes its like a portable solution. but these are just incase of any ruckass. which we are hoping there wont be but just in case here they are. 
Kate: what if we just want to be normal for one night?
Mary reaches into the neckline of Kates shirt and your bra line on your dress and pulls out the microchips. 
Mary: if you both change your minds i have the chips now go  you both are due for your speech in a few moments. 
you and kate go out of the washroom, arriving in the ballroom to be greeted by dignitaries and just in time to be called up on stage. politely excusing yourselves you both walk up on stage. 
Kate: whats up gotham city. thank you all so much for coming out tonight. this year so far is really big and productive for the company. i cant believe its been almost 2 years since me and YN brought wayne tech back to life. if bruce wayne were here today, to see what we have done he would be very proud of everything we are doing to keep this legacy alive. the silent auction will run all night the winner will be contacted by telephone and by email. the prizes will be availble for drop off or pick up at wayne tech. now i am gonna turn the mic over to my business partner and girlfriend YN.
YN: thanks kate, so as you all have seen around the room are some of the plans to refurbish some of the wings at arkham as well as build a secure wing for those more deadly super criminals. our goal is to create a more secure enviroment as well as give the orderlies more space for any other crazies that may pop up or have to go to arkham thanks to the donations of you Gotham we almost have the funds to start the arkham asylum expansion project. 
Kate: before we sign off for the evening i have something i would like to do. bare with me i have not put alot of thought into this but here it goes. 
Kate turns to you taking your hand in her own.
Kate: Yn you and i have taken Wayne tech and brought it back from the dust and shadows like a phoenix in rebirth but tonight as we boht stand before all of gotham i have a question for you, this night at this gala i want to know. Will you YN marry me?
she then got down on one knee and held a ring box to you open to a rose gold entwined celtic knot band with a emerald cut stone in the center. your face went pretty fast from shock to a face of happy complete utter joy. 
YN: yes!
was all you managed to squeak out.  kate placed the ring on your finger and kissed you before holding both your hands up for the press to see the gripped shot of the engagement ring. 
you were not sure what else would come out of your mouth. thats when luke stepped onto the stage with mary. both of them bringing you and kate some champagne. 
mary: waiters are coming around with champagne will you all please join me in raising a toast to YN and Kate  the best people for the right jobs at the right moments. we are honored to be in your debt. to YN and Kate. 
the toast made, the congratulations flowed in, the press all over your engagement. even the crows offered congratulations. 
~what happens now is a different story for a different time~
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losangelesvalorant · 4 years
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final thoughts on games today:
Tl;dr: london is going to have Issues with a capital I, paris is fine and will be better w hanbin, boston were okay and them losing just solidifies how fucking scary and well-oiled nyxl is rather than boston being terrible. Titans, like usual, have no respect for their opponents and could be even scarier /if/ they wanted to be, valiant pops off sometimes but cant do it consistently, shock looks rusty and dallas needs to pocket decay even harder than they already are to win games.
london: i see a lot of potential in them, but until they gain confidence they’re c tier for me. They seem overcoached and lost when they aren’t unable to go through with their set plays, of which they way too many for each map. When they were able to play their game, they cycled their ults well, but were easily forced out of their comfort zone. Bernar tried his best to carry, but jmac looked lost and wasn’t able to bait nicodgh’s walls at all, that might be a problem w coordination w sanguinar for speedboost tho. babel wasn’t quick enough to get his walls out in time, though they were great when he did. Glister and highly tried their best, sanguinar seems to play very individualistically which gave london chances, but fdgod just outplayed him mostly. Once teams figure out how to play vs them they’re fucked unless the coaches move away from set plays and unless the team builds more confidence. This team is going to suffer with hero pools if they don’t fix something quick. London honestly and truly has a TON of potential, but not the coordination or confidence or coaching to utilize it.
paris: they’re gonna be scary as they get more coordinated! Can’t wait til they can run at full strength w better tanks. They made good adaptations and looked good doing it. Nicodgh’s walls were sick, nosmite looked great, fdgod is a fragger, xzi clicked heads and greyy and hyp did good too. Benbest i didnt watch. I really like what i see with this team, but we haven’t seen them at full strength so i dont feel like i have much to say about them. Definitely a dark horse for me. They should thrive with hero pools. 
nyxl: nyxl looks as dominant as ever. They’re coordinated, smart, aware, turn impossible situations around, and quickly shut down every win condition boston had before they could even execute it. Though whoru’s mei is def the weak link for me (his walls kinda suck. I think theyre just giving him stage experience here tbh. His genji slaps tho), him and sbb/nenne are a scary duo, everything that can be said abt jjonak and anamo has been said already (They are the best. They are the best. They are the best.), and mano and hotba are both doing excellently. I dont feel that this is their optimal meta, but nyxl has showed a lot of willingness to adapt to their opponents and make swaps, which i like. I’m not worried for them in hero pools, though they might stumble a bit. They’re solidly in S tier for me now
boston: This is gonna be controversial (and take this w a grain of salt cuz im plat.) but boston played better than i expected cuz im a pessimist and was expecting them to get completely rolled, and they at least showed some signs of life. They’ve clearly scrimmed a lot of different comps and looked at least vaguely competent in them, which is more than dallas valiant and london can say. They tried to go for a lot of clutches which never rly worked. they tried to adapt, but nyxl outmatched them and kinda drove them away. Axxiom and fusions were coordinated and i liked their dive, their double shield not so much. boston dps were holding their own, swimmer and myunbong were too, there’s not rly a carry on this team. axxiom i think is being slept on tho. They could definitely kite better and coordinate more, and make faster/smarter swaps, but they at least looked pretty synergized. They were clearly outmatched but they def looked better throughout the whole series than london did vs nyxl after the first 2 maps. Boston seems like a B- tier team to me, but they could be better and i do want to see them play more before im certain abt this. I’d call this a quality loss despite the scoreline
vancouver: Titans clearly didn’t prep much for this match and didn’t respect valiant as much as they should have. There’s no weak points on this team, just that all of them went for clutches they shouldn’t have and got punished for it bc they assumed valiant would be weaker than they were. Titans hate being methodical but are great when they are. When they subbed stitch in, they went for more dumb plays it seemed like, so i bet sms is the one keeping them chill. Fissure’s playing bumper style (taking space and dying for it) but quieter, which I like, bc it means they can pocket haksal harder and let twilight go for more plays. Good adaptations, great plays, great synergy, once titans got their feet under them and downloaded valiant it was over. Their dive was soooo clean. Nothing to be said about this roster that hasnt been said already (theyre the best). This is classic titans and im glad to see losing bumper hasnt completely stopped them from doing dumb shit, cuz even if it hurts me to watch its fun. They should be absolutely fine with hero pools, S tier.
valiant: Valiant only have one comp and theyre Very good at it, especially in the mirror, but theyre having trouble adapting to titans. They have very high highs and very low lows, they also try to clutch sometimes and fuck up. When the team pops off theyre sick, when they dont they… dont. Gig is a madlad. I do like that they prepped for the titan’s bap strat on lijiang and shut it down entirely, that was very good coaching, but they weren’t able to adapt to non-mirror matches after that. They might get fucked by hero pools bc they didn’t show anything successfully other than rein/dva variations, but we’ll see. I'm finding them fun to watch and I'm interested to see if they can consistently maintain their peak play. B tier, i think their weaknesses are more exploitable than boston’s but that boston would lose to them. Id compare them to hunters last year but if hunters played meta
shock: I didnt watch this match super close tbh. Shock looks strong as usual, but they stumbled far too much for my liking when they let doha and decay get value but otherwise incredibly dominant. Architect’s ana got sooooo much value as the series went on, beautiful sleeps beautiful nades beautiful nanos etc *chefs kiss.* i dont think shock prepped super hard for them, and they rly couldve adapted better on horizon and won that map, but it was overall dominant. They seemed pretty rusty honestly but theyre still good, but they should be pissed they got fullheld on horizon. I’m not going to draw any conclusions from this game when it comes to shock bc its one game and its their first game back. S tier, they’ll be fine with hero pools.
Dallas: Dallas looked way better than yesterday, when decay and doha were unleashed and it was less about taking space they were monsters. Tank play was better but not great, glad theyre not making note play rein anymore. Decay is a god and doha played around him really well and his walls were sick. When decay couldn’t play mccree and couldnt get support, there was nothing dallas could do. Gamsu… seemed a bit tilted and used ults he shouldnt have. There were also communication issues, it didnt seem like trill called some of his shatters which meant the team couldnt follow up. They weren’t able to adapt that well without set strats, and other teams will use that to their advantage. Once a team figures out how to shut down doha and decay the game is over. C tier, will struggle in hero pools
right now rankings for me go titans, nyxl shock in S tier, glads in A tier, toronto, paris, valiant, boston in B tier, dallas, london in C tier
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9pcentrash-blog · 6 years
Text
Soft Kiss | CollegeAU Chen Linong
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Notes: So I used to write these scenarios things for other groups when I was like freaking 12 or 13 when I had the writing skill of a bad middle schooler and the relationship experience of nothing but really cliche romance animes. But now I’m 18 so let’s see how this goes lol. Also my first scenario writing in like 4 years pls go easy on me. Would very much appreciate feedback cause I’m not sure this is good or not asdfghjkl. 
Words: 2.7k (haha I need to chill)
okay so i get nongnong is the soft shy boy but I think we can give him a lot more credit to think he'll take some initiative.
not saying boy would be full ‘in charge’ but I think he can really be confident in his feelings once he's confident in himself
SO i wrote this because there are too many ‘soft boy nongnong doesn’t know how to relationship’ or ‘too shy to tell you how he feels uwu’
welp im here to show a little more forward but still sweet nongnong
so buckle up cause i got real into this
okay, nongnong would probably fall in love with you from a far or being he's met you in group settings but never really had a one on one conversation with you
but he sees how cute your mannerism is when it comes to how you laugh with your friends or how you light up when you talk about something you're really passionate towards.
he notices these cute things about you just by watching 
he's w h i p p e d
'h o w can someone be so cute???' he's probably thinking
you and him have mutual friends like zhangjing and yanjun
yanjun being nongnong's roommate and you having to study english with him that’s how you guys meet
yanjun introduces you guys
at first, yeah nongnong thinks you’re cute and all but doesn't have that big of an impression on you
but his interest peeks when you spend the day 'studying' with yanjun
and by ‘studying’ I mean you guys only studied for the first hour before ordering food and started playing video games
nongnong hears yelling from outside his bedroom and he walks in to you guys playing mario cart and eating pizza
"wow yanjun" he says with a hint of pain in his voice
you both stop to look at him
"you guys dare to play my mario cart and not invite me???"
so obviously nongnong joins in on the fun
and while you guys play he starts to see how you are, beside from your brief introductions 
he realizes just how cute you are when you’re having fun
to your adorable reactions as you jump in your seat when you get hit with a shell or how antsy you get when yanjun dares to pass you into 1st place
in the end you constantly beat yanjun for first while he gets second and nongnong is just content with his stable 5th or 6th place because seeing your little victory dance and teasing of yanjun as you win everytime is enough for nongnong to feel like he's won
cause w o w he never knew he could come across someone as adorable as you
okay but that's just the surface of you guys path's crossing
you and zhangjing are best friends
but zhangjing and nongnong always get food before their history class so they can cram/get hw done last minute
zhangjing eats your food whenever he comes over your place
that damn freeloader
but you'll never actually stop him, rather you see opportunities for future food purchases from him.
so you're hungry as heck one day after class and you have no money
that's when you see your best friend rushing into one of the food places on campus
"hey zhangjing!!! buddy do you have any money on you :) "
"what why??"
"remember MY leftover pizza you ate in my fridge last weekend? :))))"
you pull out the receipts and he cant find an excuse so he reluctantly buys you food
you guys meet up with nongnong after and you recognize him
I mean how could you not
he wasn't that talkative but he was a sweetheart from what you remember
*cough* and not to mention was pretty cute *cough*
"oh hi y/n!"
nongnong lights up when he sees you
"you guys know each other??? dont you just stay inside all day, how do you know peo-”
you step on zhangjing foot hard enough so he can feel it but not hard enough for him to scream
and cue the explanation story of how you guys met to zhangjing
suprise zhangjing is good friends with yanjun too and grew up together
suprise suprise its a small world and you guys decide why not all of you hangout cause mutual friends?
the four of you then started to hangout
often had study sessions or more mario cart races as 4 people and you and nongnong got closer
nongnong, getting to know you fell in love with you even more and just really loved being around with you even tho you guys never spent time alone.
time was always spent together with either yanjun or zhangjing and he doesnt think he has any courage to even be in the same room with you alone
yanjun and zhangjing have figured out nongnong's painful obvious crush and try to help him out
zhangjing as your best friend definitely approves of nongnong cause at least he's a good kid unlike the flirt yanjun is
but anyway yanjan and zhangjing have enough of pinning nongnong and tell him he should just confess or you and his relationship will never change
he knows but he's scared
he's never dated let alone have his first kiss
he thinks its sad cause he's in college but relationships were never something he really sought out till he meet you
he never had his heart quicken so fast for someone, feel his stomach in constant knots or felt lost for words like this until he meet you
you caused all these bubbly feelings in him and he couldn't stand it, he had to tell you
nongnong decides to ask you to come over and hangout that weekend
yanjun gets kicked out but its okay cause him and zhangjing decide to hangout and spam nongnong cause they want all the updates
“yo 10 bucks he kisses her” zhangjing says while they wait for nongnong to text back
“pfft he won't do it”
“wow, doubting our nongnong”
“yeah I'm not even sure he'll go through with telling her”
“oh, if you're so sure how about raising the stakes and buy me whatever meal i want if im right”
”you’re on”
little does yanjun know, zhangjing is your best friend and he knows you
so you actually have a thing for nongnong too you’re just better at hiding it
like nongnong, you fell from the little interactions and observations
you thought it was endearing to see him always try and lighten up the mood when someone was down
or how he'd remember little things like yanjun and zhanjings favorite foods or drinks so he could get some for them when they seem to be down, eventually even doing this for you too
he gave you thoughtful advice and help when you needed it from someone besides your best friend
overall he was someone you wanted to depend on and fell for each and every time you saw him
when he asked you to hang out alone you're shocked
‘h o l y  c r a p  I've never hung out with him alone what do I do???’
you're a nervous mess but you don't want to pass up this opportunity
so you say yes
that weekend you get to his dorm and at first its very awkward
but nongnong tries super hard to lighten the mood by telling you funny stories about yanjun or doing silly things
you guys break out in laughter after listening to nongnong's story about how yanjun got a girls number only to give him a Chinese take out number and when he asked again about the ‘wrong number’ she gave him a different take out place
“I can't believe he asked again after she gave him a fake number the first time!” you laugh
“you gotta admit though it's clever she had another take out number on hand for the 2nd time”
you two are a mess of giggles and have closed the space there was previously between you 2 on the couch when you first got there
you didn't know when the two of you got so close but you and nongnong had your legs and arms brushed up against each other
every so often you would lean into nongnong's shoulders while you were in your laughing fits
and nongnong took notice to the distant and could literally feel his heart popping out of his chest
you obviously noticed the distance as well cause oh boy his smile from this close and his laugh humming in your ears made it feel like you were gonna die from how much it filled you up with this warm feeling
up close you notice little things like the cute mole right below his nose or the sweet but minty scent that probably comes from his shampoo or cologne
you both kinda come to a calm and eventually stop laughing
your eyes meet and that's when the heat rises into your cheeks and the butterflies in your stomach run loose cause his gaze into your eyes is so gentle looking
“hey y/n”
you die a little inside cause you've never heard him ever call out your name so softly like that
its timid and delivered sweetly like it was something fragile on the tip of his tongue but had a hint of fearfulness to it.
“y-yes” catching you off guard
he catches his breath
“I like you”
you kinda look at his serious expression and you're a little too shocked to say anything
nongnong sees the shock in your face and starts to panic
“oh god um- I didnt mean to scare you or anything but i just couldn't wait any longer to tell you cause you looked so cute so i just had to tell you- but it was so abrupt what was I thinking, you don't have to answer or a matter of fact you can just pretend this didnt happen if you wan-”
“I like you too!”
his panic halts and you see the visible red as his face heats up
“you do????”
“yes, I've actually liked you for awhile now”
cue nongnong's redness to increase tenfold and he breaks into that signature smile
“so does that mean if i asked you to be my girlfriend you'll say yes???”
you giggle out a ”mhm”
 and he's so happy he pulls you into a hug and you both break out into giggles
f i n a l l y  he could hold the big cutie that you were and call you his
nongnong holds you for quite some time while telling you how cute you are and goes on to list what makes you adorable
“the way your voice perks up with you get nervous or the way your giggle sounds so cuteeee” he goes on and you're heavily embarrassed
“nongnongggg please noooo” you're blushing so hard from the compliments you might actually die
he then lets you go and stops with the listing before he brings a hand to your cheek.
he runs circles with his thumb against your cheek and smiled ever so brightly
“im sorry its just- I've fallen so hard for someone as precious as you.”
man you're seriously gonna die from the sweetness of this boy
you then proceed to spend the rest of the night talking about when you started to like each other and finding that personalness you guys missed out on cause you never got the chance to hangout alone until today
later when you get ready to leave for the night nongnong stops you outside his door
“wait y/n before you go, can I hold you for a bit?”
u m  y e s
but in reality you just nod yes shyly before he pulls you into a hug where his big frame just sallows you up
hes so warm and sweet smelling when your face kinda presses into his chest
it’s the sheer definition of comfort and warmth and you never want to leave
once he lets go you wince a little cause the pleasant feeling of his embrace disappears
but before he entirely pulls away he plants a little kiss on your forehead
“goodnight y/n”
you say the same and you walk off literally stumbling and disoriented cause he's so precious your heart cannot comprehend it, you’re soft from this precious boy
nongnong probably texts yanjun and zhangjing in a group chat later that night
’guys i did it! I told her and now we're dating!!!’
zhangjing: ‘okay cool but did you kiss her???’
linong: ‘on her forehead i did’
zhanjing: ‘IT COUNTS, I CALLED IT’
yanjun: ‘FUCK'
yanjun’s wallet is then screwed
anyway after all this your relationship takes off
it starts out a little awkward but you guys start to adjust in time
Nongnong is constantly shy as heck when it comes to pda and holding your hand and thats all he can handle in front of other people
he can barely do that tho when yanjun and zhangjing constantly tease
but even though he's not blatant with his affection in public he’s still someone who tries to give subtle touches
to quick back rubs if you're walking side by side to when your arm rest on tables while you study he’ll lightly squeezes them while you work
he's tends to have trouble knowing what right words to say if you're upset or mad but is a great listener
he doesn't tend to get upset as easily as you would but when he does its a pretty big deal to you
he tries his best to not let any of his ill emotion get to him or let it out on you
and he tells you how he feels but often is really reluctant to talk unless you give him lots of convincing
he even likes to put on a smile for you like he's okay but you can tell he's not
he lets it build up so when he spills to you his feelings he tends to cry and holds on to you like his life depends on it
It’s hard for him to always keep a happy face so he really values these times
your touch and warmth calms him down when he breaks down like that
his affection maybe hard to convey in public but he lives for your embrace when it's just you 2
at first he always asked if it was okay to hug you or hold your hand
he wants to make sure you're comfortable
but you guys get to the point where he doesn't have to ask but naturally he just intertwines your fingers with his or cuddles up to you when you'd be sitting on the couch or his bed alone together
now kissing is a different story
at first he could only give you kisses on the forehead or your temple
progressively he started getting bolder sneaking pecks on the cheek or even lips (he apologized probably the first time he randomly kissed you on the lips but you gave him a quick kiss back and he died)
he constantly gives soft pecks because long kisses aren't something you have done yet
until one day
you're sitting on his couch watching a show when he nudges you a bit
you look at him and he moves in to plant small kisses on your forehead, to your nose your cheek and then softly your lips
doing this makes you giggle and he loves it to bits
Nongnong is gentle with kisses
kissing you so delicately like you'll break under his touch
he plants a soft kiss on your lips doing it again and again and again before the soft but fleeting kisses stop and he just doesn't pull away while kissing
he keeps his position and presses his lips onto yours just as delicately but it's far more passionate then the quick kisses from before
you're a little shocked cause you wouldn't expect him to kiss you like this but nevertheless it didn't stop you from kissing back
he presses into your lips slowly and tenderly while bringing his hands up to cup your face
the kiss is long but never rough just soft and sweet
you pull away and he's dazed before he can really comprehend what he did
“oh.” slips your mouth
“oh?”
“that was uh…”
“was it bad?”
“no it was good, um really good”
he lights up
long soft kisses are now your new killer 
especially when you’re caught off guard he tends to do them the most
He usually doesn’t try to get you flustered but he wants to do it once in a while
so he loves how flustered they get you because of the kisses and definitely plans on doing them more
so ultimately this boy is definitely gonna be the death of you
38 notes · View notes
overthinkinbrain · 3 years
Text
WHOA!
Hi again :D I never thought that writing that first letter will be this relief. You know me, I wont say anything to anyone unless I cant handle it anymore. Its just too much emotion living inside me that wants to be release. Anyway, can I continue telling you something that you missed out to me? Well, you dont have any choice coz I will say it anyway :
I really wanted to tell you what happened coz I know you’ll relate to this. Also I consider you as my bestest friend that I can tell you anything without sugarcoating or whatever. That for the past years, I havent been able to open up to anybody how I feel and and how I felt on thing thats why you need to catch up to me HAHAHA again, you have no choice.
SEA GAMES. It was a nightmare. How come that our coaches are really coaches without a training program? that they come to training empty handed and just tell us what they feel like doing??? Did you know that eventhough I attend tryouts ( you know our team, each year they wanted new players thinking they will get someone who will play like a superstar) they didnt include me on the national team list of players. ME! They have a lot of bullshit excuse about that but I know whats really the reason. That I was short. They wanted to create a tall team and that ruin my comnfidence. That up to now that Im not on the team anymore(that I will tell you the story next time), I carry that insecurity that Im not tall. Insecurity that I thought I never had. Since I was not part of the first list, I was left out when they had their training in SG. I was so angry that I really wanted to quit. But I focused on my work, I mute all my teammates story for me to be able to focus and not think that I was left behind. *COMMERCIAL BREAK* If you will ask why am I writing this in english is because It will feel like MMK if I will write it in tagalog HAHAHA *END COMMERCIAL* Fast forward after their SG traning, I still trained. I fuckin’ trained hard. I run like hell so no can can catch up on me. Until the last day before announcing the final line up, I wasnt sure If I will go in. Thats how fucked up my confidence. Even if I know deep down that I am one of the players who the team looked up. And the, I GOT IN! But I was not that confident athlete, I always have a doubt in me, because these coaches always makes us feel that we’re not enough. That my height is not enough. But God will always save us. We were able to train by our foreign coach. We flew in SG to get ready with Seagames for 2 weeks straight. Training and games all day. And for the first time, I wanted to go home. It was tiring physically and mentally. But I pushed thru. Got back home and we only have 5 days to prepare for the next training which will be a house arrest in Sta. Rosa. It feels like that your body is not yours anymore. It was torture. We are not allowed to access our phone. We are not allowed to get our happy food. It feels like you are not allowaed to be you. You are just an athlete that needs to train and be prepared to fight. It was tiring. You know me, my mental health is not as strong as I act. Imagine how mnany time I cried myself to sleep. 
Im sorry! Haha. I never thought it will take this long. This is what I felt during this time. And you’re the only one whom I am comfortable to be vulnerable. During these days, I wonder what you would say to me. What would you do to make me feel better. But only I can wonder :( I was trying to survive each day. And no one knows I am trying super hard.
Fast forward to the games... I am really proud and happy that never quit. Playing for the country in front of our countryman is another level of pride. I am so happy that I get to feel the chills while playing. The hype I felt was undescribable. We lost to Brunei for the bronze medal. But we definitely give a damn fight. It was so heartbreaking and up to now, I feel the pain of losing that day. But you know what, I gave eveything that I have. I run until that final buzzer and for that I am proud. And in my head, I hope you can watch me, I prayed many time that atleast youre watching in distance (Ii dont know why am I crying while typing this HAHA I just really hope that you are proud of me. You are there when no one believed in me, You pushed me to be a better version of myself. And I know that I wont be able to do these things without you guiding me since day 1. Thank youuu! I am forever greatful for your love. 
and thats my SEA Games story, Universe. 
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falteringfaith · 3 years
Text
20 things I learned in 2020
1. The only certainty in life is uncertainty.
This is obviously true in the case of, you know, a global pandemic, but even moreso is the way this permeates every aspects of our life on earth. Fundamentally, nothing in certain. No time has ever been ‘precedented’. This year was a reminder of that, but so was clerkship in general. Every month, every new rotation forced me to confront the difficulties I had managing uncertainty. As a person who needs to know EVERYTHING at all times, I was forced to accept that I simple could not know it all in these clinical scenarios. This doesn’t mean it made it any easier to deal with - I still get pretty anxious the night before a new rotation, but I certainly deal with it easier than before. 
2. Ask for help.
Ask and so you shall receive! Why stumble around the hospital by yourself, sweating anxiously and checking your watch nervously as the minutes tick by closer to when you’re supposed to be at X or Y destination, when you can ask someone who is (in my experience - literally always) willing to help? Now, I stride in and ask the first person I see where I can find what I am looking for. People want to help - you just need to ask. Whether its for finding something or letting someone you can confide in know that you’re struggling - ask.
3. You are what you do every day. 
Aristotle said it best, so I won’t mince his words. What we spend our time doing each day reflects what is valuable and important to us. This year, for the first time in my life, I began to work out for myself and made it a habit. I wasn’t doing it to lose weight, to participate on a team, or for any other reason than for me. I noticed myself get stronger, happier, feel better. I made it a habit to the point where when I don’t do it, I feel off. I didn’t think this was something that was possible for me - rather, that I was destined to a life of just not being an exercise person. But here’s the thing - everyone is and can be an exercise person. You just have to be doing it for the right reasons - for wanting to move your body in a meaningful way each day because thats what makes it feel right. I hope to come to love my body and all it does for me in the coming years. I would lie to say that I love and am truly accepting of it right now, because I know I am not. But I do know that I am treating it a whole lot better than I ever have before.
4. Be vulnerable/STOP PEOPLE PLEASING
Holy fuck --- this !!!!!!!! You do not need to have it all figured out. You do not need to pretend that you are unphased by things or that you are the ~chill~ girl. This does not benefit anyone, and it certainly does not benefit yourself. People want honesty. They want to know how you’re feeling. All you do by shutting that away is harbor negativity and resentment that end up exploding later. I was taught to hide these emotions growing up for whatever reason - shame, embarrassment, whatever - but I will stop doing this. You cannot begin to unpack the why of how you are feeling, and try to achieve more, if you don’t do this. You should be open and raw - tell people why you love them (like when you messaged people you felt grateful for over twitter and facebook last summer) or why you felt badly about things (like you did in your relationship). You deserve to be heard.
5. Take a walk.
The power of going for a walk to clear your headspace and give you time away was truly found this year. Nature is grounding. Fresh air feels like it lifts the weight off your chest. Spend time outdoors - don’t feel badly if you cant - and breathe deeply. Feel the earth against your feet as you propel forward and deal with emotions. Whether it was 5 minutes between virtual clinics or 5 hours walking around when you were upset and in an argument with Felipe, taking a walk was the answer.
6. People like people that they like.
This year, in clerkship, I learned that it is not always important to be the smartest or wisest or wittiest. You dont even have to be smart, wise or witty. You just have to be trying, responsible, likable. A good team player. On most days, being just me, at my baseline, was more than enough. I think this year I realized that I am likeable (or affable) as one of my strengths. It was the CL psych nurses (Karen telling me “you are a star” on my last day and making me tear up on my walk down the hill back to my car parked on Strachlan), or it was the R3 on gen surg (”you have a good energy”) or whoever else. Not necessarily things or fields I knew the most about, but just who I am. And that was nice to hear. Stop the imposter syndrome - you are enough.
7. Non-fiction books can be enjoyable.
Fiction is still better, but there is lots to be learned in a good non fiction.
8. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
You bawled your eyes out on your birthday morning, at Felipe’s house on James. You sat on the balcony and couldn’t control all the tears that wanted to come out. It was blackout tuesday, and where was the validation that your year MEANT something if it wasn’t shown via birthday posts on instagram? More than this, people ARE DYING IN A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, SARA. And even moreso than that, you were flooded with, dare I say, WHITE GUILT that this was the way you were feeling in the midst of pronounced racial, civil unrest. For the first time, I think you were really confronted - every day, for weeks - with the fact that you were white. You knew this before, of course, but this was blaring at you from every angle, even on your fucking birthday. And here’s the thing - things will never go bac to the way they were, when you were afforded the privilege of being blissfully ignorant and unaware of your race. When it wasn’t something you had to think about, at all, because you were obviously part of the majority and benefiting from your race in innumerable ways each and every day. We’re not going back there. The only way forward is through. Get over your guilt, we’ve got shit to do.
9. External vs. Internal validation
I think this year you really realized how much you depend on external validation to feel valued and confident. I wish for you to see in the coming years how much more you are than just what people tell you. You are bold, brilliant, confident, clever and strong because you are - not because others tell you so. 
10. Recognizing my emotional dysregulation 
This year, I became a lot more aware of the fact that I emotionally dysregulate and have extreme tempers or profound sadness with a baseline of general bubbly/contentment/joy. Now, it’s going to be all about managing it...
11. Envy/comparison is a thief of joy.
12. You’ll never know if you don’t try.
I am proud of all the ways in which you put yourself out there this year and applied to things. You got rejected - a lot. Whether it was awards and scholarships (OMA ambassador, all the general scholarships through MacMed) or leadership opportunities (where to begin? OMSA day of action lead or even being part of the OMSA day of action), or the million times you vowed that you would not apply for Ontario Regional Director. There were so many times that week you wanted to quit - to not write a script, to not attend a zoom session, to pull out even when you just saw the competition - but you didn’t. You learned a lot, you practiced giving a zoom speech, and you chatted with some interesting people. You lost the election, but you personally did not lose anything. While at that time it was a tough pill to swallow, here you are. Now you have more time to dedicate to your YWCA partnership, and isn’t that a beautiful thing after all?
13. Stop putting things off - do them right away!
Still working on it lol.
14. Popcorn
15. Being a good friend/girlfriend/daughter is a skill. 
Noone ever tells you, I feel, that having strong, close relationships is hard work. You can’t just sit idly by. You also can’t expect that giving a gift or saying some nice words is enough. Especially in a year of social distancing - you had to get creative. Face times, flowers delivered, watching netflix simultaneously on the extension with Felipe (money heist anyone?), zoom hang outs, picnics at Oakville lakeshore, scheduling monthly hang outs with Sharon.. relationships are about making the time and investing into it like you would with anything else. You don’t necessarily have to be doing fancy things like this either - but emotional intimacy is important and necessary, too.
16. If you’re not doing it because you love it, it won’t give you any contentment.
All the extracurriculars in the world don’t matter if they dont make you tick. 
17. The opportunity for learning/gratitude is everywhere.
Whether its from patients sitting right in front of you (listen to them, always), podcasts, or anywhere else. There are opportunities to learn all around you. Likewise, there are always, ALWAYS things to be grateful for. Take a moment to pause and think about what you learned or are grateful for in a day. There is always something.
18. You’re actually really good at procedures.
Why did you think you weren’t? Were you indoctrinated to believe that only men were good with their hands? Regardless... don’t be nervous. You’re good at them!
19. Routine, good nights of sleep are not overrated. Not at all. 
20. Residents are the unsung heroes of the medical student experience. They make or break a rotation, and influence it more than any other factor. Future Sara you better be a fucking good resident to your med students.
Honourable mention goes to this awesome moment this year that I almost forgot happened, but thankfully tweeted about - “No better way to spend International Women’s Day than on the Labour & Delivery floor witnessing the strength, power & tenacity of mama’s in labour! First delivery of the day - unmedicated () with a beautiful baby girl joining the world!”
Another honourable mention to coming together with a fun crew to create COVIDreview, which unexpectedly got lots of media attention and praise but, most of all, was a fun way to get to know people in my class that I didn’t normally speak to.
On other notes, I will cherish the fact that I got to spend 3 months in my parents home with them for the first time in many, many years. We watched movies, did yoga, baked (a LOT), and went for many, many, repetitive walks. I love them more than words can describe and cannot imagine a life without my parents (and my brother). My family is everything.
I am also very appreciate to be in a relationship with Felipe that is constantly pushing me to be better and to recognize things about myself I didn’t know (or didn’t want to know). These things sometimes upset me, but ultimately I recognize they are important for my growth and leading me into becoming more of who I want to be. I am learning so much about myself, what I need and want in a partner, and how to communicate more effectively to convey these things (versus not communicating this at all in the past). Things aren’t always easy but I cherish the moments that happened this year (starting the year off travelling Arizona with him, meeting his sister/niece/nephew, him meeting my family, coming to Blue Mountain, going on an impromptu trip to Niagara, all the biking expeditions, going to Stratford for his birthday!!). I also must (MUST!!!!!) stop comparing my relationships to others. 
Overall, I find it ironic that the year marked by a GLOBAL PANDEMIC is the year where I was finally forced to stop, pause, and prioritize my health. My physical health, in building a habit for fitness that finally stuck, my emotional health in learning to recognize what I want in relationships and *starting* to ask for it/be vulnerable, and my mental health in taking the time for sleep, walks, and meditation (sometimes more than others). Lets continue to take these lessons into 2021. 
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doggonneit · 6 years
Text
The Last Red Scribble | Part 1/2
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Pairing/Characters: Kuroo/Tsukishima
Rating: T for Teen
Warnings: Single Parent AU
A.N. This is a part of the KuroTsuki Gift Exchange 2017, written for @moonislander on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!
Italics is Tsukishima. Bold is Kuroo.
[Read on AO3]
Monday PM
(2:33) I’m about to slam my head into the wall. (2:33) Tobio got into another fight. (2:34) He’s fucking five, how does he keep picking fights.  
(2:35) what a champ
(2:35) What the fuck, Akiteru. (2:35) You’re not supposed to say that.
(2:36) wrong number bud but legit (2:36) tobios got a future in cage fighting (2:36) whos tobio
(2:38) Oh, sorry. Wrong number.
(2:40) well dont leave me hanging (2:40) i need to know who to put my money on in the future
(2:41) Don’t make this weirder than it already is.
(2:41) :)))))
(2:42) Tobio’s my son.
(2:43) are you an old man (2:43) is that why you started texting me (2:44) STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER
(2:45) What the fuck, no. (2:46) I messed up my brother’s new number. (2:46) Evidently.  
(2:46) eviDENTly (2:47) arent you all smart and proper (2:47) thats how i like em
(2:49) Are you seriously flirting with me over text? (2:49) You don’t know stranger danger at all. (2:50) I don’t have time for this.  
(2:53) :((((( (2:55) come back
(2:56) I have to deal with my son.
(2:56) what an adulty adult (2:57) tell tobio hes a fucken champ
.
Tuesday AM
(7:22) sooo (7:22) i know your brothers name and your sons name (7:22) but not your name
(7:25) …
(7:25) hint hint
(7:26) Have you seen the latest stranger danger campaign? (7:26) It’s got your face all over it.  
(7:27) you think youre being funny but my mates crack jokes about my ugly mug making children cry (7:28) would tobio cry if he ever saw me
(7:30) He doesn’t even know what you look like.
(7:31) *image attached*
(7:34) I really don’t have time for this. I’m getting Tobio ready for school.
(7:35) if life were a party youd be the clown that sucks all the fun away (7:35) XP
(7:36) Why are you making that face?
(7:36) you hurt my feelings so im sticking my tongue out at you
(7:38) No-one uses that emoji for hurt feelings.
(7:39) i just did (7:39) XP (7:39) oh look i just did it again (7:39) XP (7:39) and again look at me go
(7:42) All right, all right, I’ll ask. (7:44) Tobio says you look like you killed a cat.  
(7:44) how does someone even look like that (7:44) your son needs glasses (7:45) what do you think then (7:45) smouldering eyes wicked grin (7:45) admit it im pretty
(7:46) Yeah, pretty atrocious. (7:46) What’s with that hair?
(7:47) HI THIS IS KUROOS BEST FREIDN FOERVER BOKUTO PLS DONT METNION HIS BEHDEAD IT MAKES HM SELF CONSCOIUS
(7:47) Aww. Is Kuroo sulking now?
(7:47) sajfkdsjp (7:47) asdffhajlkkasdfghijkl
(7:48) I feel like I should be concerned. (7:50) I am actually concerned.  
(7:51) how do i get rid of a body
(7:51) What.
(7:51) how do i (7:51) get rid of (7:51) a body
(7:51) Cook him and serve him to the police who knock on your door asking for his whereabouts.
(7:52) babe thats brilliant (7:52) youre a committed accomplice now
(7:52) On a scale of 1-10, how often do you hit on nameless and faceless strangers over the phone?
(7:52) 1 (7:53) its only ever been you (7:53) *heart emoji*
(7:53) I’m flattered.
(7:53) we have a dilemma (7:54) you know my name and my face (7:54) ive lost the advantage (7:54) who are you o mysterious phone man
(7:54) You really want to know?
(7:55) yes!!
(7:55) Well (7:55) My name is (7:55) *middle finger emoji*  
(7:56) i am (7:56) fucking betrayed (7:56) my own accomplice
(7:57) :)))))
.
Wednesday PM
(4:17) *image attached* (4:17) fight gloves for tobio when he grows up lololol
(4:20) Don’t even joke about that.
(4:21) did he get into another fight (4:21) whatd he do steal another kids party pie
(4:22) He ruined someone’s sandcastle.
(4:22) that punk
(4:22) He also threw the bucket at their head and made them cry.
(4:23) holy shit (4:23) i know you cant see but im pissing myself laughing
(4:23) That’s the second time this month. (4:24) Is he going for a new record? How concerned should I be? (4:24) I should ask my brother for advice.  
(4:24) okay but in all seriousness (4:25) dont kids usually act out because theyre upset about things
(4:26) Yep.
(4:26) you sound like you know whats going on
(4:27) Yep.  
(4:27) is the thing not an easy fix
(4:28) Tobio can’t exactly move back into his old neighbourhood and old school.
(4:28) ohhh (4:28) i get that totally been there (4:29) though that happened to me in middle school so i handled it differently
(4:30) You mean you didn’t stomp on sandcastles and throw buckets at people’s heads? (4:30) Shocking.  
(4:31) real mature of me ayy (4:31) but its chill tobio just needs time to adjust
(4:32) He’s been living with me for four months already.
(4:33) hes trying to survive a new environment (4:33) go easy on him
(4:35) All good and well until he accidentally kills one of his classmates.
(4:35) what could he possibly do (4:35) nah dont answer that
(4:36) You’re not inspiring much confidence right now.
(4:37) okay hows this (4:38) the most dangerous thing in a school is a pencil (4:38) if he stabs it through someones eye (4:38) what are the chances of a five year old having that good of an aim
(4:39) We could be surprised.
(4:40) lets give tobio the benefit of the doubt (4:40) have i brought your fears to rest or nah
(4:50) You’re interesting to talk to, I’ll give you that.
(4:50) is that why youve kept talking to me despite the anonymous and rather suspicious nature of our relationship
(4:50) Sure.
(4:51) *heart eyes emoji*
.
Thursday PM
(6:44) ive been thinking
(6:46) Make sure you give yourself a break every ten minutes. We wouldn’t want to strain your mental capabilities.
(6:47) hush child i got something to say (6:47) about tobio sort of
(6:48) I’m listening.
(6:49) so yesterdays conversation made me go all introspective (6:49) and if all tobios doing is throwing things (6:50) the lil guy will go far in life (6:50) i mean when i was five i was eating sand
(6:51) Congratulations, you just tripped over the lowest bar society set for its most basic standards.
(6:51) savage i love it (6:52) bokuto just called me a masochist (6:52) he doesnt even know what that means i bet he learned it from akaashi
(6:54) … (6:55) Who’s Akaashi?  
(6:55) the most beautiful man to grace the earth and bokutos boyfriend (6:55) im not even kidding his face was sculpted by gods (6:56) *image attached*
(6:57) Wow.
(6:57) exactly (6:57) no one knows how bokuto snagged him (6:58) my moneys on witchcraft
(6:59) Have a little more faith in your Best Freidn Foerver.
(6:59) hes my best bro but he does NOT have that much game
(6:59) You misspelled Best Freidn Foerver.
(7:00) all right he types like an electrocuted toddler (7:00) hes there for me during the good bad and ugly (7:00) and i support him 100% (7:01) but theres no logical explanation for how he got akaashi
(7:01) Maybe he has charm.
(7:02) gasp (7:02) babe (7:02) did you just imply i dont have any charm
(7:03) I didn’t say anything of the sort but it’s an apt description.
(7:03) you really are a savage (7:04) totally my type just saying
(7:05) For all you know I’m a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly.
(7:05) im a personality kinda guy anyway (7:05) so what do you look like
(7:07) Shh.
(7:07) ?
(7:07) Can you hear that?
(7:07) ??
(7:08) Stranger danger.
(7:08) DUDE COME ON (7:08) or are you actually a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly (7:08) because no judgement if you are
(7:10) *image attached*
(7:11) holy shit (7:11) HOLYS HIT (7:11) AJGSFAJKALHHJKKKLLLL
(7:13) Uh. (7:14) Hello? (7:15) Are you there? (7:18) I’m actually kind of worried now.  
(7:20) Hi, this is Akaashi. Kuroo’s fine; he’s muttering to himself on the floor. (7:21) Something about being sculpted by gods and touched by angels?
(7:22) What the fuck.
(7:22) Nice selfie :)
.
Friday PM
(9:28) arms (9:28) abs (9:28) legs (9:28) sore
(9:31) Do I really want to know? (9:31) No, I don’t.  
(9:32) :( (9:32) i experienced life death and hell all in the same day
(9:33) Now I can’t not know.
(9:33) i had vball training for a match next week and it was torture (9:33) and when we thought it was done no (9:34) we had practice matches with alumni and it was torture round two (9:34) then i had coaching which i usually love (9:34) but the kids kept spiking balls at me (9:35) 10 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS BODY 50 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS HEAD 100 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS NOSE
(9:36) You play volleyball?
(9:37) thats all you took from that
(9:37) I used to play volleyball in high school.
(9:37) wait are you serious (9:37) what position??
(9:38) Middle blocker.
(9:38) me too!! (9:38) what are the chances of us both playing vball and being middle blockers (9:39) this is destiny i feel it
(9:40) That was another lifetime ago lol.
(9:40) once a vball player always a vball player (9:40) how tall are you
(9:41) 195cm, why?
(9:43) 195 and yOU DONT PLAY VBALL (9:43) this is a crime (9:44) tell me tobio plays vball
(9:45) I... don’t think he’s ever tried it?
(9:46) the outrage (9:46) how could you (9:47) i just felt my heart crack (9:47) oohhh the pain
(9:47) Poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?
(9:47) i (9:47) ijakl
(9:48) ?? (9:50) Did you disappear on me again. (9:50) This seems to be a growing trend.
(9:51) Hi, this is Akaashi again. Kuroo is currently incapacifjskkl (9:51) WAHT DID U DO TO MY BSET FREIND FOREBER WHYS HE ALL RED N CHOKN ON HIS WORSD
(9:52) Oh. (9:52) Scroll up.
(9:52) OHO (9:53) OHOHO
.
Saturday AM
(11:10) my mates wont stop laughing at me (11:10) i live in a house of dicks (11:11) cant even escape them theyre on my team (11:11) i blame you
(11:15) Sucks to be you lol.
(11:15) are you taking pleasure in my pain
(11:15) It sounds wrong when you put it that way.
(11:15) ;) (11:16) i’m still upset though (11:16) make me feel better?
(11:17) You seem to think I possess the ability to feel pity. (11:17) I don’t.  
(11:18) you know what you do possess (11:18) the ability to feel annoyance (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) is it annoying yet (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) !
(11:19) ALL RIGHT, STOP.
(11:19) victory
(11:20) What do you want.
(11:17) whats your name
(11:17) Are you serious.
(11:17) i wanna know
(11:18) You reek of desperation.
(11:18) not gonna change my mind
(11:19) …
(11:19) wanna do the whole !!! thing again
(11:21) Fine. (11:21) You’ll ask politely.
(11:21) dom huh (11:21) im into that (11:22) will you pretty please with a cherry on top tell me what your name is
(11:22) N (11:22) O (11:22) *heart emoji*
(11:24) i cant believe (11:24) how could you (11:24) youre so mean
(11:24) :)))))
(11:25) shouldve expected it (11:25) do you always play with peoples hearts like this
(11:25) I enjoy jerking you around. You make some pretty good entertainment.
(11:26) glad to be of service :’)
(11:26) I suppose I could throw you a bone.
(11:26) im not falling for it this time
(11:26) Tsukishima.
(11:27) …
(11:27) My name is Tsukishima.
(11:27) it is (11:27) up down left right with you
(11:27) Disappointed?
(11:28) NEVER WITH YOU (11:28) TSUKKIIII
(11:28) No. (11:28) Do not.  
(11:28) i love your name its beautiful like you
(11:29) I revoke your right to say my name ever again.
(11:29) TSUKKIIII (11:29) *heart eyes emoji*
(11:32) I have never regretted anything more in my life.
.
Sunday PM
(3:24) You said you have a volleyball match next week, right?
(3:28) is this a dream (3:28) are you actually texting me first
(3:29) Miracles abound today.
(3:29) yeah i have a match next week why
(3:29) I mentioned it to Tobio and he got really excited. (3:30) He made me explain everything. I spent hours talking about rules and moves.  
(3:30) i  knew that kid had the vball genes in him
(3:30) I even dug up some old practice tapes from high school. (3:31) He’s obsessed with setting.  
(3:31) hed get along with my setter (3:31) that arrogant ass (3:31) i love him though
(3:32) *image attached*
(3:33) what… is that
(3:33) Tobio’s lack of artistic talent.
(3:33) i hope you didnt tell him that
(3:34) He said it was you blocking and scoring the winning point.
(3:35) he drew a picture of me?
(3:35) He captured your likeness down to the last red scribble.
(3:35) omg… omg...
(3:37) It’s not that big of a deal.
(3:37) youre not ruining this for me (3:37) this is the best day of my life
(3:37) Remember when we talked about low standards?
(3:37) your son loves me
(3:38) He drew a picture of you.
(3:38) and how many other people has he drawn???
(3:38) …
(3:38) thought so (3:39) tell my biggest fan i said hello and thank you (3:39) its the prettiest picture ive ever gotten
(3:39) Don’t get nudes much, huh.
(3:40) wow (3:40) WOWW (3:40) that went beyond savage (3:40) that was straight up murder
(3:41) You like it.
(3:41) yeah im really wondering about that masochistic streak
(3:41) About that.
(3:42) ??
(3:42) I was thinking (3:42) If you were interested (3:42) I could help you explore that.
(3:44) i just dropped my fuckign phone (3:44) are you fucking with me right now
(3:45) Yes.
(3:46) i fucking hate you
(3:46) No, you don’t.
(3:46) no i don’t
(3:46) Why do you keep falling for these things.
(3:47) actually im falling for you
(3:47) Seriously.
(3:47) hope (3:47) its all i got buddy (3:49) is this going to be like last time when you said no but then changed your mind
(3:50) No.
(3:50) dammit
.
Monday PM
(7:18) happy one week anniversary babe (7:18) do i get a gift (7:18) eyebrow wiggle
(7:21) Did you just type -eyebrow wiggle- at me
(7:22) *video attached*
(7:23) I did not ask for a video of you wiggling your eyebrows.
(7:23) its my gift to you
(7:23) I’m so… grateful.
(7:24) cmon gift gift gift
(7:24) I don’t know, I don’t have anything. (7:24) Actually (7:25) *image attached*  
(7:25) omg is that tobio (7:25) hes so fucken cute wtf (7:26) look at those hamster cheeks (7:26) whats he eating
(7:26) Blueberry cupcake. (7:26) It’s his reward for behaving in school.  
(7:27) aww no fights today?
(7:28) His teacher said he engaged positively with other students. He was trying to play volleyball with them.
(7:28) omg thats adorable (7:28) i see where he gets it from (7:28) are you teaching him how to play
(7:30) I taught him how to receive but I’m rusty. (7:30) I should look into classes for him. (7:30) Do they even have classes for kids that young?  
(7:31) the rec centre where i coach does (7:31) idk about other places though
(7:31) Whereabouts is your rec centre?
(7:32) shh
(7:32) You’re not doing the stranger danger thing on me.
(7:32) do you hear that
(7:32) Can you hear my sigh travelling across the wind.
(7:33) STRANGER DANGER
(7:33) Are you done.
(7:33) my centres in tokyo lol
(7:34) It wouldn’t happen to be the Tokyo Sports and Recreation Centre?
(7:34) how did you know that (7:34) oh my god this is real (7:34) STRANGER DANGER
(7:36) It’s a twenty minute walk from my place.
(7:36) i know i just joked about stranger danger but should you really be telling me that
(7:37) Take it as proof that I don’t think you’re a predatory serial killer.
(7:37) thats the nicest thing youve ever said to me (7:38) *heart emoji* (7:38) well if youre interested the kiddy classes are wed 5pm and sat 10am (7:38) you can go to one or both
(7:40) Hmm.
(7:40) times no good?
(7:42) My brother has Tobio on both those days. (7:42) I’ll have to talk to him about this.  
(7:43) ahh dont wanna encroach on uncle nephew bonding time
(7:43) I don’t think Akiteru will mind-- he used to play volleyball too.
(7:43) how did you ever think tobio wouldnt be a vball player (7:44) its clearly in his genes
(7:44) Wishful thinking. I never really liked volleyball.
(7:45) what no (7:45) why
(7:46) It was just a school club. I only did it because it was something to do.
(7:47) you come into my house
(7:48) Lol.
(7:48) well hey its paying off now (7:48) i bet tobio looks at you like youre a god
(7:49) Yeah. (7:49) It’s the first time he’s really looked at me. (7:50) So thanks. (7:50) :)
51 notes · View notes
bella-edward-cullen · 7 years
Note
Do you have any headcanons about the Cullens :)?
Okay so I have a lot of these so imma go by character lol
EDWARD * Edward is obviously like super edgy especially before Bella * He definitely went to bars and poetry reading to sulk * The garage days for sure had some underground music * I think Emmett would play the guitar and Alice the tambourine jasper on drums and rose either singing or completely rejecting the band. * So Edward also knows how to play the electric piano. * Esme and Carlisle love listening to them even if some songs r terrible. * Edward has a diary no one can tell me otherwise * Someday after Bella and him r married and he’s busy with ness Bella definitely finds his diary * She is super nice about it and makes sure to never tell Emmett Bc he would never stop making fun of him. (It’s super embarrassing) * Edward loves to play with ness and take his family out on trips. * Jacob grows on Edward but there is some fights for sure * “I DONT WANT NESS ON A MOTORCYCLE” * “DUDE SHE CANT EVEN GET INJURED” * “I DONT CARE ITS NOT SAFE FOR HER” * He’s very overprotective * That’s it for Eddie boy
ROSE * She likes to go to big makeup stores. * Each town know her and Alice to be big spenders when they’re out shopping together * Emmett comes with to tell her how good she looks (he genuinely likes it) * She absolutely adores iPhone and could easily become a makeup YouTuber or instagramer * She loves to see everyone comment on how beautiful she is* She loves dressing ness up and buying her clothes * She teaches Ness to have a lot of self confidence * Boys always gawk at the family when they’re out together
EMMETT * Emmett just 100% goes with the flow of everything. * He for sure joined a fraternity at some point and rose hated it * All the sorority girls tried to get at him but he always refused and would show them rose* Rose often came made out with him and left just to mark her territory * All his frat brothers were hoping she would dump him so they could get a shot at her. * He wanted to major in medical science but once things started getting blood into them he had to switch majors. * Probably sports advertisement or something with sports * He’s a total dude bro * Rose definitely taught him how to do hair tho * He’s hella good at braiding and doing makeup for rose and Alice * He’s not ashamed of it at all * “Yes I do my girls hair. Can you even see her bro! I’d do anything to keep her happy” * That’s it for now lol
ALICE * Alice is basically an open book * After Edward and Bella’s wedding she decided she wanted to be a wedding planner for a while * And damn she is efficient * She still shops for the family including ness and jacob now * Jacob hates it but ness makes him wear it * Alice is still a big spender and loves all her nice things * She defiantly donates all her old clothes too (and her families even if they aren’t done with it) * She’s big on volunteer work and helping others. * She’s just a really good person honestly
Jasper!!! * Jasper loves Alice like a lot * He will tag along and do anything she asks * He brings her flowers all the time and gifts he thinks she will like. * He always try’s to surprise her but obviously it never works * They r like completely in love * Jasper tells ness stories about the war * Ness doesn’t really like them but she listens anyway * Jasper gets very passionate when talking about things he likes and went through * He makes sure everyone knows they’re worth it * He also trains super hard to wrestle Emmett and beat everyone in baseball
Renesmee * got her dad’s edginess when she was mentally a teenage * Defiantly rebelled but got away with nothing Bc come on look at her family * Jacob for sure helped her rebel * She went cliff diving once and Bella and Edward lost it * “REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!!!” * “Mom dad chill seriously, no big deal” * Alice gets very bothered Bc she can’t see ness’s future * Ness loves that * She spends a lot of time with the pack and the Cullen’s r very on edge about it * Ness gets catcalled a lot * Like A LOT * and boys always try and get her number and jacob is always very mad about it * “Jacob chill out. It means nothing” * “Not me me Ness!” * He’s very sensitive. * Ness is extremely smart and invents things all the time. * Once she’s about adult age her and jacob get married and have some crazy kids * The Cullen’s r very excited to be grandparents. * Jacob and ness kinda brought down a lot of tension between the pack and the Cullen’s * They even got rid of the treaty line Bc they trusted them now after the whole volturi thing. * Ness was happy to be the peace bringer * In her rebellion times she may have eaten a person or two and everyone was mad. * She did it outside of town tho * The pack reamed her, jacob reamed her, her parents reamed her, the rest of the family reamed her* To say the least it was only one time. * She actually felt very bad about it and sulked like Edward. * The family eventually moved and jacob came with them * She has a very full and happy life like a normal teenage to adult girl * She eventually dies and the whole family is heartbroken * Jacob was too and soon died after her * It was a devastating loss after all those years.
Carlisle and esme * very happy with their new life * Bella and Ness really completed the family * Eventually someone else will join their coven again * Esme just loves to have her family grow * There isn’t many problems In the household when everyone is vegetarian * Esme defiantly goes to the hospitals Carlisle works at to mark her territory * All the nurses crush on Carlisle * Carlisle is too oblivious with his work to notice them* Carlisle is very emotional when someone dies in his hospital * Esme always comforts him* Sometimes ness does too
Bella * spends a lot of nights with Edward * They definitely finish their honeymoon at isle Esme after Ness is full grown * Sometimes Bella forgets Renesmee at Charlie’s * Charlie stop asking questions but knows something weird is happening* He still loves them no matter what * Bella snoops a lot and does a lot of research because she loves learning about her new world. * She often teaches Ness these things * She fights with Emmett a lot (playfully) and she wins everything within the first year but Emmett starts winning more in the second * Bella is very upset about this * Ness loves watching them fight * Ness challenges Emmett eventually and ness is actually quite strong * Emmett and Ness start wresting a lot more until Ness beats him once * Emmett was super impressed * Bella gets nervous every time she fights a vampire even though she is just as strong * Bella and Edward always try and protect her even when she is being rebellious * Rose Alice and Bella all get very close and often go out to brunch with ness. * Endless catcalls honestly * Bella still gets confused when it’s at her Bc she forgets that she is beautiful. * She always expects it at her family
Thanks for the ask and I’ll do more requests like this in this format if you guys want. My asks r always open ❤️ sorry it’s so long and has like a million typos lmao 😂
64 notes · View notes
survivor-iceland · 4 years
Text
Ep. 2 - “I will not be a little tea pot this time” - Ellie
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dylan r
OKAY! New game! I’m excited to start! I’m just kinda trying my best to socialize, I’m horrible at talking to other people, my plan early is usually to just win tribals and form small connections with people 
Although I flopped SO HARD during that challenge it’s unbelievable I literally tried that for hours & I couldn’t do it like literally 
Not much else, I’m just kinda vibing. 
Jack
So Ellie totally spilled that she's gonna send stuff to our tribe so i'm telling my tribe that. I think raffy is gonna do the same. Also im thinking everyone on one so that we mess with them.
Jack
My audio is going crazy and cutting out and im like AM I BEING SPOKEN TO????!?!?
Jack
I'm chatting with maynor and stephen and thats going good. but also Raffy is cool but imma try to put some false ideas about the cookie game on him 
Raffy
There was one hinky vote for me which tells me that people think I am push-y and a leader on this tribe which is not ok. I mean I want to win challenges, but I don't want to be seen as aggressive. However, I guess I cannot help it. I need to get into an alliance soon. Otherwise, I'll find myself not within a majority. I guess my social game isn't strong enough so I need to rely on my strategic game.
Keith John
Well, its been about three days since the game began, It's going okay for me. We won Immunity so game talk has been on the low. The time difference really screwed me over, I wasn't part of the latest immunity challenge discussion. Even though I wouldn't have contributed much in that convo, Having no input or talk during such moments puts me on the back foot (socially). The saving grace is that I was able to connect to four others through one on one convos. That has helped me built a sort of majority alliance, But as a thumb rule of survivor, unless we don't through a vote together. U cant trust anyone. Hopefully, it sticks and I am able to get through the first few votes. I don't know why but I keep getting a feeling that maybe John and Cormac are telling me what I wanna hear and make me feel comfortable. I hope that isn't true and the alliance is genuine. Cause I feel I really get along with them and can really work with them for a long time.  I think both of them are awesome. The only other person I trust is Zoe, we just connected quick. Sierra though in my alliance I haven't yet had a strong one on one conversation with her. let's see what's in store in the coming days 
Jack
Were planning to fuck with the other tribe by sending a spy to seed some accidental plan spillage. John’s a smart cookie. MaynorJay. I am slightly sad you split me and Timmy up. The cast reveal and seeing Timmy in that tribe i was like :0. But you did make it one world so i could still talk game with him 😊. Plus i missed being hosted by you. ❤️
John
this plan i concocted could either be really good or really bad. all we gotta do is throw the other side off their scent. but can we do it and make it believable? i guess we will find out tonight.
Ellie
Cookies is chaotic: more detail coming later
Jack
I took a risk for the idol hunt that might cost me my vote at the next tribal. I'm both regretting this decision and thinking it'll probably maybe be worth it...?
John
ok my plan dissolved like an alka seltzer. that’s fun. we love that. i just hope we win at this point. if we lose, that’s going to make things quite interesting.
Ellie
K so lack of communication has officially reached another level, this would be easier if people spoke???? Even Joseph did and he had finals!!!!! Some people have time to try to get on my good side and strategize but not to fucking talk about the challenge???? Some of yall👀👀
Sierra
Sitting out of this challenge was agonizing! I couldn’t be a part of any of the strategy talk for the challenge itself... so I had little to no clue what to expect as I watched. I really don’t want to go to Tribal Council, either. I’m hoping that we can pull out a win and I won’t have to stir the pot and potentially show my cards alliance-wise this early in the game.
Dylan C
I haven't been talking to people enough today and should probably do some of that. Well, I certainly will if we go to tribal but I'm hoping we don't
Jack
Cromac and I chatted for a bit and agreed on a sort of alliance, so that's a thing. Other than that I have fingers crossed for us winning this challenge!
Sierra
So we lost immunity, and I’m PISSED. We fully expected Keith to get 60 cookies from our tribe alone, but he only ended up with 55. That means that somebody on our tribe did not play into the tribe’s strategy. Now my butt could be on the line and I didn’t even have a chance to play in the immunity challenge! I feel relatively safe with my alliance, but anything could happen between now and tribal. Here’s hoping my five stick together!
Timmy
We won!! There was strategy used on the tribe but also people just tried to take control of what everyone else was doing. Like if they try to do that for the challenge they’ll try to do that for votes and that’s not how I’m trying to roll. It kind of sucks that the people I want to work with are on the other tribe. I want to message jack bc they seem chill based on the call last night after tribal. Also there is no way I’ll get an idol bc these slide puzzles are ridiculous.
Sierra
Right now it looks like the votes will be heading towards Stephen. I really like him and think he could be a good ally... but the numbers are against him right now, and that makes it difficult to save him. I don’t want to sink my game attempting to save his... so it looks like Stephen will be the first one voted off of our tribe. I’ll really miss having another literature lover on the tribe, and I’ll miss having some intercontinental diversity, but I’d rather save my own neck right now.
Maynor
So I am now in an alliance with Cormac, Zoe, Sierra, and John. And it is called Maynor’s lovers for some reason. But it now got changed to Maynor’s Angels. 👀 jay came to my host chat and was like ___ is shook. And i died as well. So far the target seems like it might be Stephen that was brought up by John. But we still have until tomorrow so who knows. As long as im safe that is all that matters.
John
hi. i’m john, i’m 20 years old, and i’m absolutely worried stephen has an idol. he just...doesn’t connect. and it puts me on edge. so i want the vote to be somewhat split. we need to put the majority of them on stephen, but have one or two of us worms put down someone else’s name just in case stephen pulls out an idol. no matter what, us 4 (me, cormac, sierra, and zoe) need to get through this vote so we have the majority.
Jack
WOW. Okay so Cormac and I a pretty tight rn. Plan is to vote either Maynor or Stephen. Cormac is closer with Zoe, who i haven'y heard from much. Sierra and I have had some banter with Sierra and opened up private channels with them. Imma check that they're good with Stephen or Maynor, and which they'd prefer. 
Jack
Sierra seems to want to keep Maynor around more than Stephen while I'm feeling the other way. I'm down with either so hopefully things work out.
Dylan C
https://cnet2.cbsistatic.com/img/tcQaSg5LL_0-HBuWFPxpguK71TM=/1092x0/2019/06/06/b11ccfac-685e-4cb2-a239-b09af07b1baf/toriflynn2.jpg
Jack
IDOLS EXSIST. And hopefully Stephen and maynor dont have any
Jack
I MADE A DUMB CRAZY PLAN. Like I said to the others it basically, we make a chat with Stephen, tell him heyyyyy lets vote Maynor, then go and actually vote Stephen. I feel a little bit evil but also i totally get the reason blindsides are so popular. I FEEL LIKE A SPY!
Dylan C
I love you, Jay
Jack
The trap has been set, hopefully Stephen falls for the it and nothing goes to shit. And also that Cormac's not pulling a con on me. I doubt he is but pArAnOiA.  
Jack
STEPHEN RESPONDED AND HE SEEMS DOWN WITH VOTING MAYNOR AND BELIEVES CORMAC AND ME AND I CHATTED WITH JOHN AND HES DOWN WITH VOTING STEPHEN BUT O MY GOD IM SO NERVOUS. sorry bout the caps lock, I feel like it was needed to covey my FEELiNGS
Jack
All the gears are locked in. Everyone's voting Stephen; Stephen seems to be on board with voting Maynor; Maynor will hopefully stick with going for Stephen; and Keith will maybe hopefully I hope go with what me and Cormac are going for. 
That started off so confident and turned into "Hm maybe I'm not sure I hope"
John
ok so here’s the tea sisters. our original target was stephen. he’s more reserved, kinda quiet, but he’s going after less active players (ironic, right), and apparently he is targeting keith. so if an idol is played, it might be him. so the worms are talking to jack and trying to get him to come on board for our plan. jack goes into complete paranoia mode between all of us, and we’re concerned he’s a flight risk. so the vote is shifting to jack. being erratic is more dangerous in this game than silence is.
John
lmao if this blindside on jack completely backfires and i go to EOE, i’d actually scream over how much work is going into it. this is so messy and complex for literally day 4 of this game that it perplexes me. it’s either gonna be 4/3/1 or 5/2/1, i’m not sure yet. but strap in folks, we’re experiencing turbulence. the plane may be going down.
Jack
Other than Keith everyone's locked in to vote for Stephen, even Maynor. Me and Stephen chatted and he complimented me saying that i don't seem like a new player cause I'm so comfortable in chat and I'm here like "hahahah yeah so weird not like in acting all calm and collected at you so you don't know I'm voting for you." I do feel a bit bad voting out Stephen now that I've got a better vibe on him, and I've been leaving little hints of "sorry for voting you out" and "hope you come back from the edge" at him, but doing them as me saying "Oh I feel so bad for voting out Maynor" so that I don't blow my cover but yeah. Here's all my guilt dude ^ 
Joseph Collins
We got an immunity win which was nice. Apparently Malarkey (Melrakki) played with some type of strategy. And Ulfur went coocoo for coco puffs and won. So I’m happy about that. Putting a plan in motion to get some threats out soon. Need a really good numbers advantage first. 
Zoe
GOD okay wow this is so much. We lost the immunity challenge, which is funny because I said that I was pretty confident we were going to win. I'm not concerned about being sent home, I'm almost positive Cormac would tell me if he knew, and I have good relationships with people in my tribe. And very good news: Well, after literally teaching myself how to do a slide puzzle, wrestling with the god-host herself over reference images and website dysfunctionality, I finally reached the end of the idol hunt and located a very beautiful advantage, which is to call a blind vote and then see what people vote even though nobody else can. I read it a few times and then facetimed with Cormac to tell him the good news, and we agreed we would keep it until swap or merge and use it to see where peoples' loyalties lie. We discussed all of our options, our relationships with different people, and who we want to keep close until later. I have a good relationship with Timmy and Maynor, and I think Dylan C as well, so that will come in handy when we swap and after the merge. We also solidified an alliance with us and Keith. FUCKING MEANWHILE, over in tribe Machievelli, the "oh, worm?" alliance has gone absolutely nuts strategizing over this vote. Jack has made everyone very paranoid by asking every person in the tribe who they were voting for. He had never messaged me individually before, and then just popped up and said he wanted to make sure I was voting for Stephen, which is who "oh, worm?" was originally going to vote for. I think it was Cormac who brought it up because Jack keeps info-dumping all of his thoughts onto him, but we all agreed to vote for Jack. Cormac and I discussed how to tell each person, one of those resulting in a final three deal with Keith, entitled "Zoe and the boys" as well as a yet to be titled final four alliance with me, Cormac, John, and Keith, yet to be named, that neither John nor Keith know about. Ultimately we said that we'd check back in in the morning and determine if anything had blown up overnight with Jack, since he seems to be very paranoid.
Jack
MWAHAHAAHHA Stephen believes out plan to vote maynoris genuine but it is a TRICK. Hope he doesn't hate me tho, seems like a nice guy. Those read receipts are just real sus being off man. but he tots believes me, Cormac, and Sierra.
Zoe
It's been more of a quiet morning, though we are all tense about what is going to happen at tribal. We don't think there is anything crazy happening with Jack, and ultimately we aren't telling Stephen about the plan in case he ends up telling a person he isn't supposed to. It should turn out to be a 6-1-1 vote, hopefully none of those going to me. I want to play a low key game here: I want to be making the decisions with Cormac, making tight alliances with other players, and then having them go out and do the dirty work. John seems like a good guy and a good player, and I also feel like he thinks he's the leader of our little group. It's definitely in our best interest to stay tight with him, but we have to be wary of him making alliances on the other side as well.
Maynor
I’m so fucken nervous and I swear if im voted out second. Ugh. Jack can go home. Like i did nothing to you and you just decide to come for me for no reason? Like wow. Jacks the target and I hope the people ive been talking to and aligned with are telling me the truth cuz it would totally suck if they are lying to me. There is really no reason to take me out who is active instead of jack who isnt active and just barely coming on. Fuuuuuuck me. Im be paranoid the whole fucken day arent I. 
Stephen
So this tribe is kinda dull, so theyve chosen a dull vote. Maynor. I like maynor but he has been a little silent. The big question is: is there a majority alliance out there? The answer is yes, of course there is, there always is. I make my survivor career on not being in majority alliance then tearing them apart when the tea gets spilled. See: Tashirojima.
Jack
Made a bit of a conection with Ellie from the other tribe, and she seems pretty open to working together if we make it to the merge or if theres a tibe swap
Raffy
I am happy that we do not have to go to tribal. It allows me to be more social with people on my tribe without the threat of a vote looming over our heads. 
Justin
This round was a lot more chill. Mostly cuz we won immunity, but I'm still keeping my relations with everyone good. I realized this round that Cormac, whom I have been talking to since last round, is on the other tribe lol. Luckily, I didn't tell him any compromising information, and now I have a connection to the other tribe. Plus, Keith from the other tribe reached out to me and we had a really good conversation. I like him a lot and I see myself working with him in a swap or merge. He is from Pakistan so he is also in the eastern hemisphere as well as Stephen. So, I was thinking I could possibly make an Old World alliance because we are closer to each other in times. However, Cormac has told me that his tribe is most likely voting out Stephen so that won't work out. I would say the only alliance I have so far is with Cormac, so I need to make something official with a player in my tribe before other people get them. Specifically, I want to ask Timmy to be in an alliance. 
Maynor
Today has been really quiet. I really hope the people telling me im good are telling the truth. I hope my connections are strong enough to let me survive this first round. Im so nervous and ugh i hate this feeling. Id be extremely sad if I go over an inactive. 
Raffy
Truly. Honestly. I'm so lazy. I don't want to do the idol hunt lmao
Jack
I can't remember if i already did a confessional about this but in case i didn't: Ellie and i chatted a bit and she seems open to working together later in the game and Cormac seems down with that plan too. Idk if i cant /trust/ Raffy but he also seems cool too
Ellie
So I feel like Raffy is a tiny bit annoyed with me sometimes cause I do share a lot, but I will not be a little tea pot this time. Raffy and I talk strategy all the time and he’s my closest ally but it honestly feels like I barely know him while my other close ally, Dylan, I have bonded with a lot and know a lot about them while still strategizing with them. It’s weird but I’m not going to push. He told me to stop talking about past games, and I’m like ? If I don’t mention you we’ll be chill
Ellie
Also we bonded with jack 👀
Maynor
Tonight, i may be leaving. Ill just be really sad. Mad at first cuz i tried my hardest in first immunity and then someone decides to mess up in the 2nd if by accident or on purpose. Mostly ill be sad cuz i wont be able to play with Timmy. I finally got to retalking with dylan and really miss them. Mostly ill be sad cuz let jay down for giving me a 3rd chance after my performance in rotuma. Ily Jay. Hopefully i stay. ❤️❤️❤️
Dylan C
I have to choose whether or not to do a part of the idol hunt where if I do it, I risk losing my vote at the next tribal I attend, and if I don't do it then I start the idol hunt over. Heck. I'll probably do it tbh.
Maynor messaged me a few minutes ago to say that he thinks he's getting voted out tonight, and that he enjoyed talking to me again. I don't want to see him go, in part bc I wanted to try to ally with him at some point and also just because I like him. Also I don't know what's going on on the other tribe but? Y'all are gonna vote out the guy who held a cup over his head for over two hours for your tribe? Smh
Jack
I really like Dylan C's vibe. Imma PM them later some more and see if that's a thing
Sierra
The vote switched when Jack started getting paranoid — his name wasn’t even coming up until he started asking everyone if they were SURE that they were down with the plan. It felt really awkward to have to reiterate over and over again that we were on his side... and it made it difficult to believe that HE was really with US. I’m really grateful that Stephen gets to stay around for another few days!
Dylan R
Ok so I did all of the puzzles for the idol hunt & then I FLOPPED on the challenge so: I have my clown outfit on. 
I’m trying to make friends but it’s hard 🥺 I think if we go to tribal Joseph will go before be but I got some serious catch up to do if I wanna win 
John
i know keith was originally our fifth, but i’m kinda wanting to work with maynor the more i talk to him. i want a fifth that will side with me if needed. and idk if keith could be that fifth that would benefit ME. it’s also just a thought. not tied to the idea yet. stay tuned kids.
cormac marek
Alrighty very eventful times leading up to our first tribal. I have been involved in like 13 alliance chats. Me and Zoe had an hour call last night on how she found an advantage to be kept between the two of us. It was amazing! Keith seems on board for anything. He has a "as long as its not me" gameplay. The core worm alliance was going to vote out Stephen but switched it to Jack after he became insane. It was sad because we were going to include Jack in on the deals. Maynor was told that Jack was gunning for him so that's a vote for Chaos Kass. If all goes smooth it will be unanimous. Stephen asked me right before tribal and I told him Jack was gunning for him and that majority was going for him. Hopefully this means he will be with us. It is really tricky. Let's see how the blood rolls
Joseph Collins
Patiently waiting on next immunityyyyyyy. 
Timmy
Jack is trying to get maynor out...so jack can go.
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ohkimani · 7 years
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fuck it. anytime i talk to someone about this, they never take me seriously and im so sick of it. you say i can talk to you about anything that im feeling but im telling you this shit is really fucking me up and the most you can say is some shit like ‘wow sorry’ or ‘omg that’s crazy’ like i get it, sometimes you dont have shit to say but damn. or if i do start ot talk about it or something else with anyone, i get cut off because something else is more interesting or what ever you say is more interesting. this is why im always posting so much on this damn site because i cant get interrupted when im typing. this is why if i ever feel some type of way, i dont say anything until im t h i s close to killing myself because what’s the point anyway? what are you going to say to make me feel any better. what can i say to you to make you feel better. i feel like a failure of a person if i have to go to you about what i feel because now not only am i giving you my sadness and my deadweight (tainting your life, basically) but im also admitting to my own weakness and as a black young woman i cant afford to do that any more than i have in the last two years. so you know what? if this post is already too long for you then keep scrolling. otherwise, listen the fuck up because im gonna tell you how im pretty sure i have ruined my whole ass brain with some wacky shit.
*fstfwd to the part where im walking from the dorms to the track* 
at first im cool, you know? im really chilling like having a blast until suddenly i feel that like dehydrated feeling where everything gets bright af and im a little dizzy. so i take a pause on the brick wall next to the sidewalk. i think classes have just let out for the afternoon so a good amount of people are walking by me. i still feel that ‘i havent had any water all day but im gonna do this super hard workout’ feeling as im sitting on the wall. then i look at people, and theyre all looking directly back at me (in hindsight, they weren’t) but when i blink, they turn their heads in slow motion away from me. now im getting worried. so i stand up slowly and make my way further down the hill towards the track. now i only see three people....but i keep seeing the same three people. i cant feel my body at all anymore now. not in like a ‘numb’ way but more like, my being has become the air around my body instead of my body itself. im walking on a treadmill now but the treadmill is made out of the sidewalk ive been walking on. everything is passing me but ive been walking in place for what seems like centuries. the guy in the red shirt passes me a fourth time and this time i make eye contact. as i look at him, his head splits into two different heads and they start to twist around each other. i try to ignore it because i know that any sort of freak out will not end well, so i pretend it’s normal and keep walking. i’ve finally made it to the crosswalk somehow and the sun is beaming on my arms. the heat feels different. it feels more like my skin is just different where the sun is hitting it. so i look up at the sun and the sky starts turning purple. again, i act like it’s normal. the same guy who’s head just split into two is standing next to me now as the crosswalk light tells us the cross. now im walking down the hill, still on the treadmill while ‘confidently lost’ keeps playing in my earphones. i lose track of what i hear normally and what’s in the song which is why im confused when this girl (one of the only three people i kept seeing on my walk) comes up to my other shoulder. she looks like a normal student, brown hair in a ponytail with super duper green eyes. like vegetable green. i dont take my earphones out but she looks at me and says “well....this is it”. and she keeps walking in front of me. a few steps later i start thinking she means death. then i start freaking out as im processing that i died and im trapped on our campus for eternity, walking on the same treadmill forever. then i start thinking maybe im in some sort of coma and there is a world outside of the one im living in. i go along with this idea. everything starts moving slower though and it’s scaring me because i see every phase of the movements. i move my hand in front of my face and i see 10 of them go by until they turn into one. i keep doing this until the trees around the walkway start bending and twirling in my way. (anyone on the outside wouldve seen me climbing over nonexistent small fences). the song is still playing and it’s driving me crazy because i dont know if i actually hear birds chirping or not. after wrestling and climbing my way through trees, i find myself at the track. i look up and the sky is still purple but the track itself is starting to rotate. i see som many people moving at once and it’s scaring me. it’s scaring me a lot that all of these people have the ability to move so much and i dont. so i turn around and walk to the locker room. i lay down on the couch and people filter in and out. no one really questions what’s wrong with me just laying there in normal, non-athletic clothes, staring at the wall (another concern we’ll address later because at least i know if i do off myself no one will actually care) except for ashley who assumes ive been crying because my eyes are bloodshot and swollen. some friends come in and just think im ignoring them talking to me about their problems, etc. i dont say anything. so i close my eyes (at least i think i do) everything goes black, like curtains have dropped and i see little bits of things that i thought i forgot from my life literally fly by me. like super quick trailers. then four circles appear at the end of a tunnel thing that was formed by these scenes and they start spinning around themselves. im aware of everything happening within my body at this point. i can feel every drop of blood inside me. my heart is beating slower than i recall it ever beating and when it does, it’s one hard pound against my chest. the air conditioner in the locker room turns on and i can tell because it’s making every nerve stand on end and the goosebumps raising from my skin are excruciatingly painful because i can feel them rising. like the intensity of everything my body was doing was just.......too much to handle. i start thinking “wait is this death or did i already die? is this official death?” and then i black out and come to when im at my apartment door and im unlocking it. i have no idea when i got here or when i made the decision to come here but here i am. i check the time on my watch “13:42″ and then go to sleep. i wake up and it’s dark outside. i check my phone and apparently ive had an entire conversion with my coach who was concerned after seeing me walk to the gate and turn around and a few random snaps, etc. i have no idea what happened. i start questioning which reality im supposed to exist in and i start wondering if the one ive been living in all along has been a hallucination. and the other day when i experienced pretty much the same thing again, it was a bit different because this time, my realities kept changing. like when you walk from one room to another, that’s how i would feel looking from one object to another. i dont ever want to feel this again but it’s obviously had some lingering affect because every now and then ill see something in my vision that i know isnt there, i wont process things ive done until way later (like responding to my boss today at a meeting. i didnt process that i said something to her until she was responding because in my head i was like ‘why is she talking to me rn’. ill be doing my usual walks and i’ll start feeling like im on a treadmill again. i dont know if it’s an out of body thing or if that’s what dissociating really is.....idk but it’s fucking scary because it feels like my entire being keeps leaving my physical being for brief seconds. that’s my story. that’s all i have wanted to say to people who pretend to care.
#p
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mattyslittleworld · 5 years
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Victory Lap
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Gripping my skateboard while we walk up the steps of the Eltingville Train Station. Waiting for the train as I look over the small little town I grew up running after my dreams in. Coffee from the usual deli - only this time shits different. Way fucking different. Clothes the same. Company the same. But shits different. Were filming a little mini doc and were going from Bepas, taking the train to the ferry, then the ferry into Manhattan. Were out here. I haven't been back to this neighborhood, on this route, since we sold Bepas house. Im mad happy with my boys, but inside it definitely feels mad weird. The last time I was here I was dumped cold blooded, and all my friends said I was crazy and I found myself alone. On this route I wrote a lot of Setting Sail by BACK AND FORTH. Especially Little Bones. Staten Island imagery. Turnstiles, Princes Bay, etc. Forgot how beautiful the ferry is. Just sipping coffee and hanging out. I saw this little kid in a north face  - probably about 8 years old at most with his headphones in. Staring at the water on the deck outside next to us. I walked over to him and asked what he was listening to in his headphones. I noticed he was lost in it. Like I used to get. He said under his breathe, “beats”. That blew my fucking mind. This 8 year old kid WHO WAS BY HIMSELF MIND YOU is riding the ferry and listening to BEATS while he mumbles rhymes. I found that absolutely beautiful and SO complex. SOOOO complex. I told him I worked with Casanova and Albee Al and he started smiling and I told him to keep going and don't ever let anybody tell you shits impossible or stupid. Keep going and give this city we are staring at hell. What a trip. We got into the city and ended up in Times Square. We were burning the streets on skateboards bugging out yelling and having a great time. Out to dinner Colgan said Nipsey got shot 6 times and I froze. That man is my EVERYTHING. The self empowerment to get me up in the morning and shake off losses and the weight of the world comes from his message and music. While on top red step in the middle of Times Square, in the wind, Colgan yells from the bottom that he died from the gunshots. In that moment it felt like all of Times Square became silent and the world stopped turning. The weight of this - Jesus Christ. This changed the course of history and ill never forget that moment. We took the subway back downtown. Walking into the subway there was about 100 people and a man playing a Sax to a reggae ton beat. We walked with our heads hung cause of Nipsey in silence right into this crazy, community of ALL DIFFERENT CULTURES just dancing in the most majestic beautiful way in the subway. We sat there for an hour. It was so bitter sweet as nipseys soul hung over the city. Ill never be able to describe that feeling. It was a simple way the world showed me how people coming together can heal anything.
Yesterday on a run I get an invite to a private event Jesse Malin was holding on the Lower East Side. So again - I brought Rob and Colgan along. We didn't know what this really was - or who will be there, but we went out and im glad we did. What I appreciate the most about these two is on car rides, or walks, or just small talk in general, we talk about business. Trading business advice, or just maybe progression and financial support in general. My old friends used to sit in a Taco Bell parking lot and talking about other people. Now we talk about money. And how to make it. We park and walk up to the door and are greeted with access. I love this building and this place its so sick. The red vibe, the formal Gatsby - like attire and people who linger in the shadows. Cause everything is so dark. Jesse Malin is holding a private show, playing his whole new album plus the hits. I feel SOOOOO fortunate to be invited to this personally. Jakob Dylan is in attendance, Dude from Counting Crows is there. Jesse literally saved my life and pulled me out the mud. I feel like the luckiest punk in the tri state to be thought of. While the Saxaphones and trumpets are BLARING and everybody is dancing, I get a DM from a very very very famous rapper who got me through so much shit. Out of the blue. It says “Call me”. LITERALLY WHILE STARING AT JESSE MALIN. The inception and depths to this makes me want to cry. I am losing my mind. I exit the show im not even supposed to be at in the first place, to call this rapper who I feel like is just my ex girlfriend or somebody playing a joke on me, to call them. I feel like this is a joke. Boom its really him. He wants me to write him a song. Im outside this venue just freaking out internally. We say we’ll talk tomorrow more and get it done. I go back downstairs and enjoy the show. So amped - all three of us - we walk over to St. Marks to get dollar slices. Jesse is the king of NYC in his genre. This rapper is the new 50 Cent who is the king of NYC in HIS genre. How they both collided in that moment almost blew me into the stratosphere. So so grateful and humbled and just happy. All we wanted was dollar slices. We go cop them and just talk about how cool this is. After Colgan suggests we get Citi Bikes to ride around for a little bit. We buy 3 of them shits. As soon as we get on those bitches WE LIIIIIIITTTTTT. Burning through traffic!!!! Swerving and carving. Screaming in peoples faces. Throwing shit. We were fucking bandits on them shits!!!! We rode from St Marks all the way to Times Square. From Times Square all the way back down to the World Trade. World Trade all the way to Battery Park. Battery Park we just dropped the bikes and chilled in silence. Just feeling free and liberated. But not bum ass no job free. The type of free that youre on a life path confident free. I felt invincible. We rode by the water and the mansions. It was a movie. I was so inspiring to one day buy one of them. Wake up go to the kitchen on a Sunday see my family my wife my kids in the kitchen having breakfast, looking out the window drinking my coffee and seeing that view in the summer. Its possible. In this moment I realized we’re on our way and im so happy these fuck boys and fuck girls fucked all the way off because they're all dead beats still doing the same exact played out shit they were doing 4 years ago. From false toxic friendships like that ive learned how to treat people who come into my life now. EVEN IF THEY TALKING CRAZY who the fuck am I to know whats in their heart? To know their intentions? Always encourage and be there for them and to help AND TO KEEP THEIR BUSINESS BETWEEN YOU TWO AND NO ONE ELSE. Every single crazy thing I told my people who discouraged me - I did. But I don't do beef or negativity or issues or bad tension these days. So I wish all of them well, success, and good health. God speed. We went to see our old skate spots by battery park - I remember those days so well. Went up to the Brooklyn Banks and the guard said they'll be open by summer!!!! Skate city lets go!!! We rode all the way back to Ludlow St back to the car and stopped at a Mexican food truck to get burritos. We sat in literal New York city trash and ate them and they were so good. The Citi Bike Bell Bandits tore up the streets with burritos and bells private events dollar pizza soda and coffee. Again - another wonderful inspiring night in Manhattan with the bros. Cant wait for the summer. Cant wait for LIFE in general because my mind is blown and its proven to be full of endless opportunities if we apply the right energy. A 10 minute ride on Citi bikes turned into a 22 mile ride all over the fucking city full of laughs, shit talking, clowning, and beautiful inspiring energy accompanied by proper brotherhood and companionship. 115 collective shit. lets get it. lets sell out this pony show May 17th. 
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i-amusemyself · 7 years
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All Emoji Asks.
🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?
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joonbugged · 7 years
Text
getting to know me *:・゚✧
hey @rapmonphile tagged me in my first tag game!!! i thoroughly appreciate her so follow her for quality content (esp joon)
your last …
1. drink: tropicana pink lemonade bc i go hard
2. phone call: my mom. she was mad at me for being injured?? thanks mom
3. text message: to an old friend who i just put puzzle pieces together and realized hes a kpop fan!! we’ve been reconnecting and its gr8
4. song you listened to: as if its your last by blackpink (my queens)
5. time you cried: @btsatschool admins made me hecka emo like 2 weeks ago
have you ever …
6. dated someone twice: nope
7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes but never immediately ya know
8. been cheated on: yes
9. lost someone special: yes
10. been depressed: for! the! past! 5! years! of! my! life! im ok though, if anyone can relate pls keep fighting its worth it
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: funny story. yes ive gotten drunk. like shitfaced. but i never throw up!
list 3 favorite colors
12-14. shit... usually I just say green but since you asked for 3: mint green, maroon, and any silver or gold shit thats also holographic
in the last year, have you …
15. made new friends: yes!!!
16. fallen out of love: not sure if it was love to begin with
17. laughed until you cried: absolutely
18. found out someone was talking about you: ive had my suspicions but they’ve never actually been confirmed. at least not when it comes to negative stuff
19. met someone who changed you: idk if this counts bc i havent actually met them but bang! tan! so! nyeon! dan!
20. found out who your friends are: see i always think im having this moment but then the people in question always pull shit that changes my mind back to being like “ok yeah i guess youre a real friend”
21. kissed someone on your facebook list: two of em
random questions
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i wont add someone unless i know them personally, save for a few ldr that im very VERY close to. so i know them all
23. do you have any pets: THREE CATS THEY ARE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE
24. do you want to change your name: all the time.
25. what did you do for your last birthday: i had to do college shit!! (it was on june 9th btw) and i got my period!!! so it was f a n t a s t i c
26. what time did you wake up: 9:30 ish
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: talking with my friendos from here
28. name something you can’t wait for: idk... im gonna be in a couple shows soon but i can wait for them all to happen really. lame answer but i cant think of anything atm
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: monday morning
30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: just one??? i guess i was just more secure with myself and knew who i truly was. bc i have a bad habit of acting differently to please different people and not being confident in myself and that needs to g o
31. what are you listening to right now: the sounds of me typing this lmao. and my roomie watching netflix. its so quiet i can hear the noise from her headphones
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: hello?? my lifelong best friend is a thomas
33. something that is getting on your nerves: im trying to hang with some of my pals this week and they keep not responding to me
34. most visited website: tumblr and youtube
35-37. apparently these questions are lost to the void
38. hair color: brown with leftover maroon and dark brown dyes in it
39. long or short hair: im growing it out so its short atm
40. do you have a crush on someone: y e s too many people
41. what do you like about yourself: i can do makeup real well and i have cute tiddies (when they in my bra)
42. piercings: just one on both earlobes. im considering a nose ring
43. blood type: a positive?? but i still dont understand why thats important to know in terms of kpop idols. do i need to donate blood to them?
44. nickname: if you wanna be hip call me mitch
45. relationship status: single. desperately seeking a fwb
46. zodiac: gemini ass
47. pronouns: she/her
48. favorite tv show: the walking dead and the 100
49. tattoos: cant get any bc of theatre. wanna get a small semicolon on my finger
50. right or left handed: right
51. surgery: never major surgeries. i once has to get an inflamed salivary gland removed and ive had my run in with stitches. but nothing major
52. piercing: yep this is a repeat
53. favorite sport: dancing, swimming, and biking
55. favorite vacation: my trip to nebraska last year
56. favorite pair of trainers: what are trainers
57. eating: about to go get dinner. if this is a question about fave foods then i guess my moms spaghetti (no irony here)
58. drinking: currently nothing. i would sell my firstborn for sunny D tho
59. i’m about to: get changed for a partayyyy
61. waiting for: my other roomie to wake up from her nap so we can eat
62. want: MY ANKLES TO CHILL WITH THE PAIN THEYRE GIVING ME
63. get married: im a hopeless romantic so you better believe my ho ass is tying the knot one of these days
64. career: got my sights set on being an actress. i currently make pizza.
which is better
65. hugs or kisses: kisses
66. lips or eyes: eyes
67. shorter or taller: if its a s/o i prefer them to be taller
68. older or younger: older if s/os
70. nice arms or nice stomach: im a sucker for a cute ass tummy
71. sensitive or loud: i agree how do these relate but i like it when people are sensitive. not when they like cant handle anything but more like when theyre in tune with their own emotions and thoughts and try not to be a toughie
72. hook up or relationship: relationship
73. troublemaker or hesitant: my fam would wanna say troublemaker but im hesitant af
have you ever …
74. kissed a stranger: i wish
75. drank hard liquor: yeeeeeah
76. lost glasses/contact lenses: im not a fuckin genie of course i have
77. turned someone down: yes
78. sex on the first date: heck no
79. broken someone’s heart: yes!
80. had your heart broken: yes!!
81. been arrested: no
82. cried when someone died: yes
83. fallen for a friend: yes esp with my gay ass
do you believe in …
84. yourself: i wanna laugh and be like heh no, but i really do
85. miracles: sorta
86. love at first sight: i believe in lust at first sight
87. santa claus: nope but i used to be hardcore as a kid
88. kiss on the first date: yeah. i support cheek pecks but lips are game if it went real well
89. angels: not guardian angels no
other
90. best friend’s name:  tom, katie
91. eye color: poop brown
92. favorite movie: warm bodies
tagging
heres one for the babes: @disastermanjoon @btsatschool (B) @myhomeistuan @eomma-eagle @bunnybubkook @minswaggy-dt @teaacuptaee
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Berkeley's Mayor and liberals everywhere: “this was a peaceful protest that was coopted by violent anarchists from outside of our community”
(Very basic, basic background checks of social media reveals one of the rioters who repeatedly beat an incapacitated man, then gloated about it on twitter, is an employee of the university with a $70,000 Salary)
mhm
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ACADEMIA C A D E M I A
The left loves to fucking do this. They harbour or participate with, WILLINGLY AND IN FULL SUPPORT OF, violent agents within protest. But then disavow it to the media and claim to be opposed to this. Every time. Yet never do you see these violent people being forcibly ejected by the peaceful protesters. And I know, because in my time while i was black bloc, i would kick over shit like newspaper boxes during protests n marches i attended. i would then just return and blend into the crowd. Some would come over and high five me or smile and talk excitedly about my direct action. Never was i chastised.
Funny enough, when gamergate happened, the left were furious and outraged that moderate gamerg8rs frequently would do the same. GGers would repeatedly say they disavow and have nothing to do those who were committing harassment, but in actuality would tacitly support or commit it themselves from a puppet account.
Once left wing tactics are flipped back onto the left, suddenly it’s a fucking disgusting problem worth decrying.
There was even a famous comic spread far and wide across anti-GG progressive social media making a point of this outrageous tactic they unfairly experienced by GG:
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Yet these same people would never react or police their own the way they demanded GG to do when some 18 year old lost their job because progressives doxxed them then bombarded that teenagers workplace with complaints because of a tweet they made the #gamergate hashtag...
Another hilarious tactic the left wing protesters do is this amazing thing right after or during the moment some guy is beaten and violently put down by violent people in that march, and you will see it in footage most every time.
You will hear a chant rise up from the crowd surrounding the violence that goes
PEACEFUL PROTEST! PEACEFUL PROTEST! ad nauseum
Yet, again, you will notice nobody chanting steps forward to save the dude getting jumped (usually a decent guy or two will step forth eventually once the beating becomes too outrageous to do nothing about)
The purpose for this chant, explicitly by people who start it, is mainly to gaslight any potential viewers of video clips of this violence into thinking that the majority of the crowd does not condone it. It’s like lashing out at someone while crying STOP ATTACKING ME.
But yeah, the breakdown of such protests are like, a 60, 20, 10 split.
the first 60% of the protest (or more, depending on the turnout) are liberals or curious onlookers who are there for solidarity after seeing wheatpaste posters about the upcoming protest at bus stops and campus billboards. These people generally know very little about what is going on or who they are opposing, but trust in the people who advertise it that those they are facing are nazis or whatever. These will be the people who are here out of their own good conscience to carry chants and be there as a body in opposition to the right wing. These people are peaceful and will be those who will be that one or two aforementioned decent guys who will step in to protect a dude when violence gets too outrageous.
However, they are primarily there to be useful for the remaining 40% in their effort to Shut Shit Down.
The second 20% of protesters are organizers and radicals who are versed in direct action and will step in to protect the herd and tend to cleanup of anything should violence occur or things get too heated. They are the people who push their way into the path retreating antifa make as they return from direct action and to block any police or decent guys in the 60% trying to grab them. They will also be the people who will go home and update the event facebook page to say “We do not condone the shameful violence that occurred last night at our stage in by people from outside our campus, they do not represent our community, yadda yadda”
Watch what happens from 30 seconds in (note: not anything in defense of Lauren Southern, but to make example of left wing protest tactics) and you can get a general sense of this 20% in action:
youtube
The 3rd 10% of the protest (or less) are the muscle of the protest and are the people who will instigate and continuously seek ways to attack the opposition or commit vandalism. Unlike the second 20%, these people usually aren’t the sympathetic organizers (because they lack the stomach or courage themselves), but these are the people the organizers want to attract. Some of these people (antifa, black bloc, anarchists, etc), organizers and radicals in the 2nd group personally know. Though a good many of them are lone wolves unrelated to anyone in the protest (in most, i fit this bill in the past). And yeah, indeed, alot of them can come from outside the immediate campus community. But when you are advertising your protest on online left wing forums, in co-op coffee shops and around town, you are hoping for and deliberately inviting this.
Most of this 10% will mill about in the crowd and most will restrain themselves from any violence (otherwise they will be arrested early, like most teenaged black bloc noobs), but are constantly scanning for police/security and seeking openings to jump out and deck a dude. They can potentially be peaceful for the duration of the ENTIRE protest if it’s small and disappointingly chill enough. This is where they rely on the organizers to swell the crowd to a point where rage and the thrill of a mob can be infectious, making the 60% confident enough to confront and debate their opposition at the front line in raised voices. This often gives the opening for the roaming 10% to leap in, snatch a MAGA hat, sucker punch a distracted opposition member and so on.
And when that happens, you will soon see subsequent other 10%ers leap in and do their own direct action. And you can see this often in videos of anti-trump or milo protests, where a row of guys APPEAR FROM NOWHERE and STRIKE a guy distracted while debating with the 60% and then retreat again.
But sometimes if the timing is right, the energy of the crowd is at a crescendo and if the security is overwhelmed to a degree where they cant immediately step in, the 10%ers will gravitate toward the edge and all leap out at once
and let me tell you, its all instinctual and the adrenaline rush is AMAZING:
youtube
Watch all the lower rungs of the 60%s who’ve never attended rallies before and Milo fans shout no in the aftermath.
But yeah
thats all in comprehending this shit
I saw the ORiginal screenshots in some guy’s post, but i couldnt reblog them because they*cough*gop-pub-tea*cough* blocked me lol
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kimboly27 · 5 years
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People are strange........
I’ve been meaning to get back on here and just say whats on my mind and so im going to start with the interesting world of people and us as humans. Some of this may not make any sense to anyone and thats ok but for me, i like to just talk and see what happens.
But before i get to where i am now with people,i sort of have to go back to where my thoughts on people sort of changed over the years......
November 4th 2011 and i lost my dad in one of the most horrific traffic collisions to happen in the UK. The first 3 to 4 years from that were hell and i can easily admit that. From that day my whole life was turned upside down and changed. Going through court cases,enquiries,the press hunting you down,people either being there for you or not being there at all. Something like that effects people differently. I’ve seen the best in people over the years and I've also seen the worst for whatever reasons. But my attitude to people has changed since then and continues to do so.
With all that going on as well i also went through a real shitty relationship with a right bastard. Im not sorry for saying that either as he really was. He was a narcissistic wanker who took full advantage of me going through some real shit stuff to then being his punching bag. Thankfully only mentally but the damage was done and its taken me a few years to get over such a person who treats another person like shit. When you are one minute made to feel like the most important person in the world to then the shit on the bottom of someones shoe,oh boy does it mess you up. But saying that,the best thing that asshole ever did was end it with me and F off somewhere up north. He will forever be a F up and continue to abuse people/woman because he is just pure evil and will never get help for his many many issues and will NEVER be happy and that tbh makes me happy,but of course i dont think about that waste of breath anymore,but soon it’ll be i think 5 years since he ended it and i got away from all that bs and i could not be happier. Yeah sure i had to start from scratch mentally on myself as that f***er took every bit of confidence i had in me and destroyed me, but i can now at least say i have never been happier.
With becoming happier and more confident again i see the attitudes and responses i get from people. After dealing with a narc my view on people,male or female is well lets say guarded i guess. If you know me well enough,you’ll know i’ll talk to anyone about anything,but for me it takes me a while to make sure whoever this person is,is a good person and actually will have a positive vibe for me to go with. That might sound crazy and like ‘’Wtf kim you cant judge people like that’’ but actually i can. Its a simple thing of i dont have time for bull shitters,attention seekers,time wasters,two faced assholes,backstabbers etc. Within a short space of time i make up my mind about people pretty quickly on if i want to spend more time with them or not,and its shame we live in world where people get so bloody upset by this notion. Its simple really. If i think you are an idiot or not someone i want to spend my time with then i wont and there is nothing wrong in that. Relationships will always facinate me and amuse me because my life is so different from others. Example point - Actually being someone again. I am very independent nowadays and tbh for anyone to try and break through that then bloody good luck lol But i am single by choice because i do actually really love being on my own but also i know deep down i cant commit to anyone due to being a full time carer to my mum. If anyone special came into my life they would have to deal with being second best as my family come first and foremost before anything else. If they can deal with maybe seeing me once or twice every few weeks and stuff like that then go for it. But i dont think there is many people that could deal with my lifestyle. I am use to the crazy of it but its wrong to ask others to be in my life with all that i have on. Yeah sure i’ve met some wonderful people i thought maybe it might work out with but sadly it was not meant to be and im ok with that as they are still very dear friends to me.
This may sound crazy too but i have rules,as it were,when it comes to people/social media things like that. Now yes social media to me can be a blessing and a curse. I have all sorts of pros and cons over the years of it,but normally sadly it does come down to the stupid people on the other end of it. One example of many. So i go to a lot of comic cons and have done since 2015 when i first met Matt Ryan at Wales comic con and fell in love with the Assassins Creed games. Since then i have been so lucky to meet a few of the Va’s of the games from older to newer games and continue to do so and also support them in any other work they also do. Anyway coming back to social media and at cons if there is an AC guest there i will,if i can try and get said guest(s) involved in AC cosplay meet ups and i have been SO lucky to have had the chance to work with some fantastic VA’s over the years and make it happen. Sometimes i’m not even holding the meet up myself but the VA has asked me if its ok to go along and i take them which im so so humbled by. But anyway back to the example of idiots and social media. Before the last AC game come out,i had taken a little time away from gaming all together due to home life taking a more important role to play that needed my time and attention. Now any normal human being would actually understand this and respect this but i did try and keep people posted on any cons and events the AC cast were appearing at. I was in one AC group that sadly was run by some real ego maniacs and people that cant organise a piss up in a brewery and also just very bitter and jealous people when it came to others achieving something in the AC world. Like my god the attitude some of these assholes would show, was just disgusting and it killed my passion and excitement for the new game. They would make fun of cosplayers that had worked bloody hard on their cosplays in the messenger we had set up for the FB page that i was apart of and just talk shit most of the time,and other times not even AC related. But anyone like i said last year was a bloody hard one for me mentally with things going on at home and i had no time or patience for idiots. 
Last May just as i was on my way to London MCM i found out on the bus itself,that the game shop i was working in was going to close and i was gutted. Now i had ONLY decided to go to MCM to see the lovely Victoria Atkin and Patrica Summersett who are fantastic ladies in the VA world and have been in many games over the years so having been asked by Vic herself to be there and also part of the meet up that was happening,i got myself a friday and saturday ticket. London mcm is always a manic one but ok if you know where and when you need to get done things like that. The friday was more of a chilled day con wise and time to see Victoria and meet Patricia for the very first time and she was just fantastic! (More on that later) also some other VA’s as well that i hadnt met before or had seen and wanted to catch up with. Now before Vic and Patricia were announced i wasnt actually going to attend but was basically asked to by Vic so should and Patricia could come to the meet up. Great! No problem at all i though.........
I was nervous about telling the idiots in the fb group i was with,that i was going to be bringing along special guests because my god this lot dont have make easy things more bloody difficult. So it was about maybe 3 weeks before London MCM and i dropped in the messages that even though i was being quiet i was catching up when i could and that a guest was going to join us for the meet up. Now this fb group were so bloody anal about who ran meet ups. They always had to be done by someone on the admin/mod team (which i was so against tbh. If people wanted to meet up then bloody well let them) so whilst i was with this group i did mcm birmingham and a couple of wales comic con as i was a mod. I was keeping Vic updated on things once timings and location had been sorted and also to make sure she could come along as well. The time for the meet was basically decided a few days before the meet when the mcm schedules had gone up which was fine,but before this the miserable lot didnt want many people knowing that really this meet was happening. Tbh no one in that sodding group had great social skills as all they ever did was make it more stressful then it needed to be. On the years i didnt go,so many people told me how messed up the meets were and lots of shouting ect went on and tbh i wanted none of it. It was my first (and thankfully last) meet up being in that group of last year. Back to no one wanting people to know about it. Their reasoning's were they didnt want every tom dick and harry to come along unless they were in the AC group,they didnt really want anything on social media said about it either but i was very against that as Vic was so good at letting people know when meet ups were happening on twitter and instagram so that more people could join in on the fun and rightly bloody so too! So anyway the day of the con and the admin decide to change the sodding location of the meet so they think less people will turn up from where they normally have it. Bad move as that would later unveil. So i am at the event on the saturday and im messaging Vic to say about the new details and she is sharing away as well so thats fine by me she can do what she likes. Anyway on the saturday before the meet,there was a AC panel with Vic and Patricia and it was great and really fun and right at the end Vic announces that the meet up was happening right after the panel and to come along and follow me and two of my friends. I wont lie this next bit looked amazing haha. So the girls come off the stage and then Patricia asks me if its ok to come along which of course i say yes more then welcome. We wait for security who were fantastic btw,and really enjoyed the walk to the meet up. So at the front of this parade was my two friends in their ezio and jacob frye cosplays,then me in my frye twin mash up holding my prop up so the girls could see me. Then two security guards,then the girls and their handlers and then more security. The way that people moved out of the way for us was just fantastic. It was like parting of the waves and peoples faces were like so in well surprised at what was going on but also followed along to the meet which was cool. Anyway it was a bit of a walk but we soon get to the meet up and i introduce Vic and Patricia to everyone and there was some very happy faces and really lovely people asking me how on earth i keep getting VA’s to come along lol I dont do anything special i just ask them haha. So anyway pictures are done with the girls and cosplayers and its all good fun and they were with us for about 15 mins if that and we did cosplay stuff and also admin/mod photos with the girls too which was fine and social media stuff for the girls as well which was fun. They soon leave and i feel like collapsing to the floor after tbh weeks of stress trying to sort things out and it was a huge relief things went ok for them and i thought everyone else. There was a few omg moments but not to do with me thankfully but it didnt look very well lets say professional and that was bs because the meet had moved and others didnt know so some shit kicked off but yeah that was not my problem to sort.
Anyway i go back into the venue not long after the meet to basically see some folk and also was asked by the girls to swing by again before i left the con as i was only there the friday and saturday due to money and having just lost my job i wasnt in the best of moods but they did help so much. A few days of the con pass and pictures are posted up as usual blah blah but the messages within the group about the meet up are well not great. The vibe i got was basically they werent happy with how Vic was somehow but they werent saying that exactly so i basically said in all the times i’ve met any voice actors and got to work with them there has never been any ego’s or bs just a lot of fun. They didnt really see what i was getting at as i know they didnt get my involvement with who i had worked with so far and were beyond jealous it was so damn easy to see. But yeah their slight digs at Vic pissed me off so again went back to ignoring the messages coming through as it was just all nonsense chat.
Another thing this pathetic group didnt like was other members being in other AC groups and this is what finished it for me cos it got so stupid. Now before the bs happened which i’ll explain next, i am and still in over 30 plus other ac groups or ac cosplay related groups and have done meet ups in other countries ffs so you should not be told who you can and cant do that with. Anyway what happened was a little before MCM London i got asked on twitter by the lovely AC United Kingdom page if i would like to help them out on their social media sites to which of course i said yes. This group have been so amazing to me since they asked me to join and its been a blast with people that are so supportive and love what i do to help promote stuff for VA’s and things like that. I was very honoured to be asked. Anyway the older group found out i was added and also another mod and f*** me did they kick off. When i then explained how i ended up in this group they soon shut up for a while and backed the F off. Now i know the other mod didnt like getting added and thats fine as being added to groups can be annoying so she left the new group i was now apart of as well and thats fair enough. Again i said my piece and left the chat as it was all going back to more rubbish talk.
 A few weeks went by and i had saw that the guy who added me to the new AC group i was in was blocked from the old group i was i and i asked why. Oh boy that shit storm hit hard. Because i hadnt been that involved in the group chat or on the fb page they basically started on me which was hilarious to be honest. Now they booted my friend because he was adding their members to his own fb which was a big no no. I had also added members because i asked them if they would like to be apart of it. When i said this they were quiet for a little time and then went on this pity party of ‘’Well it doesnt matter as it seems lots are jumping ship and so we are going to close the group anyway. We’ll keep it open but no more meet ups or anything blah blah blah’’ It was literally like they had a toy taken from them and they were reacting like a shitty child. With that,and watching the melt down this lot were having my last message was something like ‘’well its been nice knowing you all take care’’ and that was it. Soon enough i was booted from that chat and kicked out of the group hahahaha. I was then informed they put a post up about closing the group as people were leaving and they couldnt be bothered with it anymore and just really stupid stuff tbh but they sounded so butt hurt it was unreal. So now comes in one of my rules. The second anyone walks out of my life,that is it for them. I dont chase people or find out answers i just let them do what they got to do and i do my own thing. I then deleted and blocked all of the admin and mods but one off of my fb because i wasnt going to let them kick me out of the group for their tantrum and then think its ok to watch what i do with me life. I dont f***ing think so. The next day a good friend had sent me a pic of one of the admins trying to play the victim card and butt hurt again that they had been removed from my life. Its simple. You walk out you never get the chance to come back or watch what i do. F*** no! So yeah i easily cut stupid people off.
I have other rules too and another is that if i have had no contact with someone on line or on the phone in over 6 months i delete/remove/block them from all my social media and also if their number is in my phone book i delete numbers too. Now tbh this should not need explaining to anyone but here is example two of why people just f*** me off.
Now i get on with anyone and everyone as i said and blokes especially as i’ve always been a bit of a tom boy and so girly girls i dont really get on with. Now i’ve made some great friends from the netherlands the last few years who are just wonderful and mean a lot to me and i will always do my best to go see them if i am over there or if they are going to festivals things like that i will go and support them. Anyway last may something happened at an event which was just blown out of proportion it was unreal. Lets use person A and person B as i dont like to use names. Now person A is from the netherlands and person B is from the UK. I have known for a long time that person B has liked person A and thats fair enough. Person A is still a great friend of mine and person B is no more. Now then at an event last year i got a little drunk with person A and it was a good laugh. Whilst walking together i happened to trip over something and my friend caught me and then heald my hand to help me walk as i was pretty drunk. That was nice of him. Now then at the same time this happened person B saw this happen and knowing the sort of person they are (a complete and utter immature asshole btw) i then get a message from a outside person saying i was a bad friend because i know how person B likes person A and what i was playing at blah blah blah. I laughed at the message as it really was BS and replied politely the event that had happened with the falling over and also hello im gay so back the fuck off im not interested in person A. Said messenger soon backed off and that was it. Thankfully i didnt see said messenger rest of the event. But anyway there was no need for that. What happened was a laugh between two friends nothing more nothing less.
Event ends and everyone goes their own way and back home and funny enough Person B does not really talk to me much after and tbh i didnt care. Yes i get they liked person A but ffs grow up and maybe ask what happened before getting someone else to fight your battles for you. I think it took a few weeks before i heard from them and they were still in a piss when they really had no right to be and left it at that. Move on about 3 months and i knew what was coming and it was the usual messages of ‘’Oh im so sorry for being a tit back then it was so silly of me blah blah blah hope we are ok’’ i explained to person A that i had no bad will towards them at all and its all over and done with and forget it and move on.No problem at all. That was the last time i heard from person A. Going back about 8 months now.....bare that in mind......
Now last November i went to the Netherlands for a gig and to see person B and his new gf who i had got to know over the internet. They had taken me in for a few days and it was lovely before i went to amsterdam. Now when i got back to the uk i did a instagram post saying thank you to my friends for a great time. I was scrolling through fb not even an hour after my post and i saw a shitty post from person A saying ‘’Oh looks like i’ll have to take some people off of my fb as i dont want to see things like that as they hurt’’ and some other bs. I knew instantly this was aimed at me and low and behold the next day after their fb post i was taken off of their instagram. Why you ask? Well because i had had a lovely time with my friend and his new gf!!!. This was now also 6 months after the BS at the said event before as well. FFS get over person B already as its been 6 bloody months and you knew he also had a sodding mrs and no interest in you and you didnt even talk that much. I get it feelings for someone can mean so much but to be so petty against someone else because they hung out with your crush and their new gf is f***ing stupid! So there comes into my rule of if you walk away from me or out of my life in anyway you do not get to see what i am up to anymore so i blocked person A from my instagram after that immature bs and at that time also muted them on fb as i no longer wanted to see the shit they were posting. Xmas and new year comes and goes and no messages. Not a problem i had already moved on with my life.
Same event comes around this year where shit kicked off last year but this year i didnt go. I knew plenty of folk that did and are in the same clicky group and noticed person A was hardly in much pictures which i thought was amusing tbh as they are all such attention seekers. So i went onto Person A’s fb page and saw that i had been removed from their fb page. Fair enough i thought not a problem at at all since it had been 8 months since we talked and they had already walked out in one way so the trash took itself out which was perfect for me. Again i had no problem with this due to their behaviours before hand and also i had moved on so didnt care. So with that and knowing how creepy they are on social media i block them as well. Done and dusted i thought.........
A few weeks ago i suddenly get messages from person A (comes up as unknown number on the app it was on but i knew who it was) asking if i had taken them off of my social media and why. I didnt reply to the message as i feel  no explanation is needed for such a thing. Life moves on and people grow apart its pretty normal tbh. So anyway another week goes by and i get another message asking the same thing but this time less jokey about it and more demanding. I ignore and delete the messages again. Another few days goes by and the third message is 1) damn creepy 2) proves my point on how crazy they are. The message basically said person A can see me on another accounts i have and so know i am online still and that they have talked to other people about things and they have said to let it go but they cant do that because they want answers. I literally lol to this message because it was just so needy and whiny but also damn creepy. Ffs who watches someone else from other accounts to see if they get a reaction or not?! Like grow up but the main thing that actually pissed me off about this was the pure nerve this person had to ask for answers when they were the first one to walk away many months back. Now did i go to them asking questions and why? No i did not as i dont care and still dont. Yet here is person A demanding to know why i have blocked them?! F*** right off. Again it comes back to you do not walk out of my life and expect to then keep an eye on me. Thats just all sorts of messed up and their messages just proves how f***ing crazy they are for checking up on me other profiles. If i could find these profiles i would block them too but tbh i dont care. I am happy and living my life. But how f***ing dare anyone demands to know anything from me when they f***ed off first. Not going to happen. I am hoping person A soon gives up and just leaves me alone but time will tell. If i get one more message i will then block them from what app they have contact me on.
You may wonder why i’ve wanted to rant about this and i’ll tell you why. The last few weeks i have got friends who have gone or going through life changing things. One has brain cancer and has maybe 2 years to live,another her ovarian cancer has come back and dont know the full scale yet and another a family member went through something horrific and its made me stop and think about life in general. I knew that life was short after i lost my dad but with all this happening and also more going on its made me think that again and gone bloody hell you never know what will happen to you. It makes you think about the important stuff and things that actually are important and not the BS of social media and things like that. I want my life to be filled with good people that are there for me and also support and love me for what id do. Not whiny pathetic people that moan about sweet f*** all when they should be more thankful for what they do have. I dont have time for people that have no positive effect on my life anymore. I wanted to be lifted up not heald back. I want to be pushed forward,not worried about other peoples opinions. 
So now i am taking time out from a things again for my well being and looking forward to the future :-D 
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