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gayerthangayer · 5 months

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Taking a Few for the Team

I've always had a fantasy about a sports team breeding one of the players, transferring all their fat to the one player. It's a work in progress, but here's the first part! Contains male weight gain & sex, and some bloating/gas.

Part two is here.

Exhausted, Aaron made his way out of his last class of the semester. Walking outside onto the cold winter afternoon, he admired how nice the snow looked across his college campus. Unfortunately, there was no snow on the indoor soccer field. His coach had insisted that the team practice tonight one last time before winter break.

Even though he only considered himself to be an average player on his team, Aaron enjoyed soccer. It was nice to have something going on other than his classes, and Aaron got along well with his teammates. His best friend Jess would always poke fun at him asking when he was going to hook up with the other players since they always acted so gay around each other. He didn’t mind though, since they were all cool with him being out as gay. His teammates would joke about it sometimes but only ever in jest.

He made his way back to his apartment he shared with Jess to grab his soccer bag, then he was off to practice. It went like any other, but near the end his coach made a point to tell all the boys they had better make sure and watch what they ate over the holiday break. “I don’t need you all to have to go harder at practice than you already will when you get back.” He figured he was being self-conscious, but Aaron felt like that statement had been directed at him. He was sure the coach made the most eye contact with him when he said that to everyone.

At 5’11 and fairly muscular, he was still definitely athletic. But with exams and everything going on, Aaron found himself stress eating more than usual. He had gained about 10 pounds since the start of the semester. It didn’t bother him, if anything it was just a good bulk that he could cut and gain some muscle mass if he hit the gym hard enough over the break. But his already small uniform shorts were definitely struggling with his slightly larger butt. His tops were definitely tighter too, but if he sucked in his belly it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Shit, I was really looking forward to eating good the next couple of weeks,” said Jared in the locker room after practice. “But you guys heard him, if I can’t then you can’t either.”

Jared is the team captain, who Aaron had a crush on. He was tall and muscular, and somehow ever so slightly tan even in the winter. He was assertive but also kind and understanding. It’s no wonder the team looked up to him.

“My girlfriend’s mom makes the best desserts! What coach doesn’t know won’t hurt him” complained Trevor. With a great sense of humor, he and Aaron were pretty good friends. Aaron was also a pretty good wingman for Trevor, which he appreciated.

“Yeah it’ll be hard. I’m not sure what I’ll do when my mom makes her famous pork roast. But think of how much better shape we’ll be in compared to the other teams once spring season starts” said Jared.

“Shit, you two are making me hungry” said Aaron as he took off his top.

“Look, just don’t overdo it, man” said Jared. Aaron could have sworn that Jared shot a quick glance at Aaron’s belly, but just like before he tried to write it off as being self-conscious.

He finished changing and headed back out into the cold night. On his drive home, he thought about his workout plans for the break. Like most of the other guys, he and his family both lived nearby to the school, so it’s not like he would have to give up the gym for a month. But also in the back of his mind, he knew that it wouldn’t matter, he probably wouldn’t go anyway.

—----------------------------

The last couple days of break came faster than he expected. Aaron was seriously not ready for classes and soccer practice to start back up again. In between hanging out with Jess and also his family, Aaron had spent a few nights drinking beers and playing video games with Trevor. It was nice to become closer as friends. But also, to hang out without feeling pressure from the team about somehow gaining more weight. He knew Trevor didn’t care, but Aaron was terrified about how he was going to explain to the coach why he could barely squeeze into his shorts and jersey.

Trying it on before their practice that night, Aaron could see in his mirror that there was now no hiding the fact that he did not spend a minute in the gym all month. Or that he had completely ignored his coach’s advice not to overindulge in his mom’s delicious cooking. His shorts were straining to cover his now very round ass, and his jersey was completely showing off his new belly and love handles. His pecs were now larger looking as well. “Dammit!” he muttered to himself. He was definitely a little chubby now. But even though he was nervous about his team’s judgment, somehow he felt a bit sexier? He’d always liked men with some meat on their bones, but had never really considered that look for himself. But damn, something about how he was filling out his uniform made his shorts even tighter…

But without much time to think about it, he rushed out the door to get to practice. Somehow he was already running late.

After getting to practice, Aaron was relieved. It looked like all the other guys had spent the holiday more or less exactly like he did. Especially Jared, who now had a bit of a pudgy belly along with slightly pronounced love handles under his jersey. He liked to wear a smaller size to show off his muscles Aaron suspected, but now it was just showing off his mom’s many desserts he had eaten.

Coach definitely noticed the guys’ different physiques as well, and seemed irritated that the team was doing their exercises slower than usual. At the end of practice, after a short conversation with Jared, the coach pulled all the guys into a quick meeting.

“Look, I know I told you boys not to overdo it with eating over the break…” said the coach, with an exasperated tone in his voice “but this is ridiculous. We are going to have to do something about it.”

“Yes coach…” the team said meekly, knowing full well what they had done.

“So here is the deal. Jared and I have come up with a plan to get you boys back in shape in time for spring season. Be ready to do whatever it takes! That’s it for today’s practice, but it won’t be as easy next time!”

While changing in the locker room, Aaron reflected on what coach had told them. ‘Do whatever it takes?’ Aaron was already dreading the next practice and he hadn’t even left this one. Being the chubbiest one on the team, he knew whatever coach had in store was not going to be easy.

“Way to go, fatass” Trent said angrily, poking Aaron in his soft belly. “Now we are going to have to work out twice as hard because of you.” Trent was a player that could get pretty heated in the game, but Aaron had never had Trent get confrontational with him off the field. So this was definitely a first that Aaron didn’t know how to handle.

“I… I don’t…” stammered Aaron, blushing a little in embarrassment. He didn’t know what to do.

“Whoa calm down man” Trevor came and stood between the two. “Look, we’ve all put on a few over the holiday. I know I at least have a little beer belly now.” Trevor said, making a point to grab the little bit of belly fat he had gained and laughed. “It’s all good. We’ll get back in shape in no time.”

“He’s right, it’s not the end of the world” chimed in Jared. “Coach and I put a plan together, and it’ll definitely be faster than a normal training regimen. We should do great this season.”

“And how the hell are we going to pull that off?” demanded Trent “Other than working out twice as hard, what are we supposed to do?”

“We haven't worked out the formula just yet, but I’m sure we can do it. Just listen to me and coach. We have a plan.” said Jared, with more of his assertive-team-captain tone than before. He was still positive as usual, but Trent could tell this conversation was over.

Formula? That was an odd choice of words, thought Aaron later that night. What did he mean?

All Aaron knew was Trent poking his belly and calling him a fatass earlier was somehow… insanely hot. Fuck, why was it so hot!? If Trevor hadn’t stood in front of him, his boner in his boxer briefs would have been on full display for the whole team to see. Thankfully his normally eight incher was now slightly smaller from his new encroaching fat pad.

That night, he beat himself off grabbing his belly and playing that scene over and over in his head…

The next day, Aaron got a group text from Jared.

'Hey everyone, team meeting tonight at my place. Be there at 7.'

'Damn' Aaron thought to himself. 'What is so important we couldn't have gone over it yesterday?!'

Regardless, team meetings at Jared's house usually ended up being more of a kickback than a meeting. The guys all usually brought a few beers, snacks, and some video games to enjoy after whatever team business was discussed. Jared's family had moved away but kept the house so he could live in it while he finished college. This made it the perfect place for them to all hang.

After pulling up to Jared's quiet suburban home, he headed down to the large basement living room, where the team usually hung out. It had multiple sofas and plenty of space for the whole team.

He was surprised to find that he was the last one on the team to arrive.

"Hey man! Didn't know you had it in you to be on time to anything" Aaron said jokingly to Trevor as he sat on the couch next to him.

"Dude what are you talking about? Jared said to be here at six th-"

Trevor was immediately cut off by Jared who jumped up and started the meeting.

"Glad to see you all could make it." Jared said, standing and facing everyone. "I wanted to go over the plan coach and I made to get us all in shape. We are very excited but it's going to take every guy on this team doing his part."

Jared held up a protein shaker bottle filled with an ivory liquid. It just looked like any other protein shake. "Coach and I consulted with some people in the chemistry department and formulated a unique protein shake mixture for each of you. It's highly concentrated and is specially formulated to last longer than a normal shake. Because of this, we probably only have to drink it once a week. So every week starting today, we will all drink it together, that way I know nobody is slacking."

"Seriously?!" Chimed Trent "you have to babysit us about it?"

"No you don't understand. It's just way easier this way." Said Jared. He seemed annoyed that Trent would say something like that, as if he should have known better.

"Anyway, we are still working on the flavors. So let me know what you guys think!" Jared handed everyone a bottle with their name on it.

Aaron gave it a couple shakes then put the bottle up to his mouth and took a big sip. The shake was… delicious. It was so sweet and rich and nothing at all like those nasty protein shakes he was used to.

"Fuck that's good." "Hey man, what's in this?" "Damn it's just like ice cream…" the other guys clearly enjoyed theirs too.

"Glad y'all like it. Anyway, that's the meeting. Once you finish your shakes, I've got plenty of beers in the fridge." Said Jared with a grin on his face. "One more thing. We noticed when we were testing it, sometimes the shakes can make you a little… bloated."

As if on cue, Trevor let out a long *buuUuuUURRP* followed by some hearty laughter from the rest of the guys.

"Look if this gets us in shape like you say it will, a couple burps won't kill me" joked Trevor.

"Oh don't worry, it'll work just fine." Said Jared.

The team came prepared with the usual snacks, beer and video games. They were broing out just like any other team meeting before long.

20 minutes later…

—---------------------------

The guys started getting really gassy. Being a soccer team that spent tons of time together, an occasional fart or burp was not new for the boys. It was always followed by laughter at the expense of the perpetrator, but this was different. The teammates were all feeling way more bloated than they had ever been. ‘Hopefully these shakes are worth it…’ their faces seemed to say.

At first they seemed to be a little embarrassed about it, but after a few minutes of laughing at each other they were letting it all out. All the boys at this point were occasionally farting and burping. Aaron noticed that the boys’ cheeks were becoming a little flush as well. They were also starting to get hard. Rock hard. Aaron noticed that everyone on the team had a boner visible through their shorts by now. Even himself.

All the guys were blushing as they started noticing the strange effects of this protein shake they had been given.

"Yeah sorry guys, it has some odd side effects" said Jared.

Aaron felt super flustered. The guys knew he was gay, but staring at all their protruding manhoods felt like a step too far. He got up to go to the bathroom, but as he did…

"Hey... Has anyone else noticed how fat Aaron's ass is?" Said Trent

"You're joking right?" Aaron said in disbelief.

"Like, seriously huge..." said Trent, as he stroked his cock through his shorts.

"...hey!" Aaron was completely shocked. This… didn’t feel like their normal banter.

"I'm serious!" Said Trent. "Has it always jiggled this much??" He got up and gave Aaron’s ass a huge smack. Even through his shorts, you could see it shake in recoil.

Come to think of it, Aaron thought, was it usually that jiggly? Was this another bizarre effect of these shakes?

The next thing he knew, Trent grabbed Aarons shorts and pulled them to the ground.

"Holy fuck!" exclaimed Trent "That ass is fucking insane!"

"What the fuck is going on here!?" yelled Jared "Get your *buuuURP* hands off my teammate!"

Trent grabbed Aaron's cheeks and squeezed. His fingers sank deep into the soft flesh, which he loved. He pushed Aaron firmly between the shoulder blades, the boy bracing himself on the couch. Trent mimed fucking Aarons ass in front of the team, causing an uproar of laughter.

“Hey man, chill out!” Exclaimed Jared. “I told you how this was going to work.”

Jared grabbed Trent by the collar of his shirt and pulled him away. But then quickly dropped his own shorts and stood behind Aaron.

It all happened so fast Aaron didn’t have a chance to move. From being shocked about what Trent had done to him, to being frozen by seeing Jared act so dominant. Aaron just watched in shock as he was still bent over the couch. But he didn’t really want to move, either. He was starting to feel unusually calm.

The next thing he knew, Jared reached for some lube that was on the side table, and rubbed it on his huge rock hard cock. Wait… Aaron thought to himself, was that lube always there? Why would Jared leave it out like that?

Aaron also noticed that Jared’s balls were looking massive, as if they were a pair of oranges.

“Get ready, fatass” moaned Jared. He gave Aaron’s jiggly ass a good slap and then grabbed him by his love handles.

Aaron felt a tingle through his body. He had never had a dick in his ass before. But he had always fantasized about it. This was a very weird night so far, but he’d be lying if he said he had never fantasized about having handsome, tall, fit, dominant but gentle Jared pound his tight (and now fat) ass.

His ass relaxed as if on queue, and Jared easily slipped in. Aaron moaned quietly at the sensation of having his first dick inside him.

He could hear Jared burping as he slid back and forth. The guys were definitely getting gassy because of their shakes.

Aaron groaned as Jared began to go deeper and harder. He was so turned on by this. He didn’t care that his whole team was there. He didn't mind the gas or the loud farts that Jared was letting out. In fact, he liked it. There was something about being taken by his team captain, called names and fucked in the ass that made him feel so incredibly horny.

Jared was thrusting really hard now and Aaron could feel Jared’s huge balls colliding with his own. It was so hot feeling Jared’s fat cock sliding in and out of his ass.

"Fuck, yeah, fuck me, I love it!" whined Aaron, leaning forward on the couch.

Jared continued to pound away, slamming Aaron's asshole relentlessly. He was so focused on Jared that he forgot the rest of the team was in the room, watching and stroking their cocks to Aaron and Jared.

"Come on, you fat bitch, take my dick! *BUuuuuUP* You're gonna be our team slut now!" yelled Jared.

Aaron nodded his head in agreement as Jared pounded away.

“Fuuuck…” was all Aaron could let out between his moans. He had never been so aroused. All he wanted at this point was to feel Jared release his huge load inside him.

"Take it, take it all… Take my load!" cried Jared, as he came inside Aaron's soft stomach. Aaron felt him gushing inside him. It felt like he was cumming forever, to the point where Aaron began to feel a slight pressure inside him from all the sloshing cum.

When Jared was done, he slowly pulled out of Aaron's ass. “Don’t let that go to waste, fatboy” he said as he slapped Aarons’ dribbling ass. He started laughing as he looked at Aaron's now rounder and softer belly. Aaron looked as if he had instantly put on 10 pounds. "Damn, did I do that? You look even fatter now"

"It feels... tight" said Aaron, out of breath. "But it's amazing." He put a hand on his belly and felt not only Jared's cum sloshing around but also a softer layer of fat beneath his sweaty skin.

"I definitely feel less bloated now," said Jared with a grin, "you guys should try it" he said to the rest of the guys.

Aaron looked up and noticed Jared’s balls were normal sized now. Jared also looked like he… had lost weight? How was that possible? He looked like he was back to his toned, muscular body that he had before break. But Aaron was still in too much of a daze to think much more about it. He wanted to cum himself but his belly was too tight to focus.

The other boys all looked hesitant but something told Aaron that they all wanted to fuck him and unload their cum in him just like their team captain did.

Part two

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 6 months

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Never Say Never

Chapter 2

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 7.3K

“It seems to be just a case of the common cold,” you told the worried mother. “Dr. Wilson said she just needs rest and to make sure she drinks lots of fluids. She should be back to herself within a few days.”

“Thanks. I know I’m probably being silly rushing her in here but she kept waking up last night, crying, and I’m all alone. I’ve just been exhausted having to do everything on my own. It’s been so hard. And with her not feeling well, neither of us have gotten much sleep the last few days. My husband’s in the Air Force and he’s currently deployed and we don’t know when he’s going to get to come back home and my parents live three hundred miles away.”

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Let the feeling come. Acknowledge the feeling and then move forward. You closed your eyes for a moment, centering yourself, not letting this one burrow too far in before you forced it back. Maybe you weren't supposed to push them away but sometimes it was necessary. Like now. You couldn’t be the nurse who assured the nervous mother if you were busy trying to find three things to look at, smell, and move. It wasn’t reassuring to have your medical professional falling apart in front of you.

Pressing your index finger to your thumb, you allowed yourself to feel the sensation, to know you were here. You weren't back there. No one was waiting on the other side of the door to give you the news that would send a wrecking ball through the middle of your life, destroying and altering it forever. You were strong. You were handling it. You were moving forward. Opening your eyes, you put on your best smile.

“Of course. I can’t imagine how challenging that must be for you.” Actually, you could, but this was not the time or place to share your own story. This was the time to be an empathetic ear, to listen to your patient. It was not the time to unpack your own trauma or make this about yourself. “Please, no need to apologize. You call us whenever you need to. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.”

The mother thanked you, lifting her three year old into her arms. You directed her which way to go. Parents often got a bit turned around in this place, the hallways like a maze to the various exam rooms, like a figure eight. This practice was a thriving one, one that kept you very busy, your days packed with back-to-back appointments. But you preferred it that way. It made your days go faster.

After you finished college with your Bachelor’s of Science in nursing, you had immediately gotten a job at the local hospital. You'd loved it. The hours were long and you were exhausted all the time but it had been fast-paced and so rewarding. However, it had also been heartbreaking as some children who came into the hospital were there to stay and would never again leave. They would never get tucked into their own bed again, never run through their own backyard again, never sit on the floor of their living room on a Saturday morning eating cereal while watching cartoons again. The job had not just been physically exhausting but mentally and emotionally exhausting as well.

After you'd found out you were expecting Eli, Justin had suggested that maybe you needed something a bit more predictable. It would be hard for you to work twelve hour shifts with a baby at home. It would be even harder to watch children suffer, watch parents in the darkest moments of their lives, when you had a little one at home. You weren't sure how you could face that kind of heartbreak and then go home to your own child, hoping it never happened to you.

Still, you wouldn’t have given it up if it weren’t for Justin being in the military. With his job, he would often be gone for months at a time, leaving you alone. It hadn’t been a problem before but with your parents living across the country and his parents more than three hours away, you were limited when it came to help. So, you'd applied to the new local pediatrician's office, delighted when you got a call that same week, inviting you in for an interview.

You'd been there ever since, watching as Dr. Wilson’s practice grew. He was young, just a bit older than you, and new to the job but his warm demeanor and empathetic ear quickly had every mom in town bringing their child to him. It probably didn’t hurt that he was pretty damn good looking too.

“Hey Rita, I’m going to take my lunch if I don’t have any more patients for a bit,” you told your receptionist as you placed the child’s file into the cabinet.

“That’s fine. Your next appointment isn’t for an hour so you’re good. I’ll have Sarah handle anything that pops up while you’re out.”

“Thanks.”

You grabbed your lunch bag from the fridge and made your way out of the office, heading for the pond. When it was nice out, you always chose to eat your lunch out here, a little escape from the fluorescent lights and germs of the office. Finding a bench, you sat down, pulling out your bologna sandwich. It wasn’t your usual choice but it had simply felt easier to make two this morning instead of trying to come up with something else for yourself.

You pulled out your phone, dialing the number of the one person you'd been desperate to talk to after the events of yesterday. Janice was a photographer. She did great business and had multiple clients who came back to her again and again for family portraits, baby pictures, and senior photos. She worked from home, which also meant her hours were flexible and she was almost always available to take your calls. Sure enough, your best friend picked up after two rings.

“Are you sitting under your tree?”

You laughed, “How did you know?”

“Because it’s your lunchtime and that’s what you always do when the sun is shining. Are the geese around?”

“Yep. The five little babies are swimming with mom and dad. They’re so cute. Little brown fluffballs that look so soft and sweet. I just want to cuddle them.”

“I wouldn’t try it. Geese can be nasty.”

“You don’t have to tell me. Remember when Eli was two and he wanted to feed them and those two geese hissed and opened their wings wide when he got too close. We didn’t know they had a nest right there. I know they were just protecting their babies but that scared the shit out of me.”

“Well, Eli’s your baby. Of course you were scared,” Janice laughed. “Oh my god. That poor kid. He won’t go anywhere near them now. It cemented itself into his brain and gave him a complex. He’ll probably hate those feathered fiends for the rest of his life. So, how was his first baseball practice? Did he love it? Matt can’t wait to talk to him about it.”

“He did. He talked my ear off the whole way home. His best friend is on his team and his coach is the kid’s dad. He loves him and said he was so nice and fun. He’s really patient with the kids. When Eli missed the ball for the third time, he was so upset with himself. The coach was so sweet, giving him some pointers, and assuring him he could do it.”

“Oh…okay, hold on. Wait a minute. Why do you sound like that when you’re talking about his coach?”

“Like what?” you demanded.

“Like you did in high school when you used to talk about Josh.”

“What? No I don’t.”

“Yeah you do! You’re all gushy. You sound like a Disney princess about to break into song among the forest animals who are going to help you clean your home about the guy you just met in the woods.”

You snorted, “Oh please. No I don’t. I’m just glad that his coach is so kind since Eli is new at this.”

“Uh-huh…so, this coach isn’t cute?”

“I mean, yeah, he is…objectively speaking, most women would say he was very attractive.”

“Most women, huh? And what about you?”

“Yes, okay? Yes, I think he’s very attractive. Anyone with eyes would see that he is good-looking. You should have heard the moms at practice going on about his ass. Married moms basically saying they would cheat on their husbands for this guy. I swear, the housewives club is scary. But it’s just…he’s just Eli’s coach. His son is coming over to our house later today to play with Eli.”

Steve was attractive. Hell, he was possibly the most attractive man you'd ever laid eyes on and that made the guilt just twist in your stomach even harder. Justin had been the love of your life. How could you be so turned around by some guy you barely even knew? You'd spoken for all of three minutes. You didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he coached kids baseball.

“Oh, is he now?”

“Janice, stop. Eli and Jeremiah have become best friends this year and Eli asked forever ago if he could come over and I completely forgot about it and it never happened. He asked again yesterday so I promised him I would set it up. That’s all it is.”

“And is his dad coming over to play too?”

You groaned, your hand coming to y our forehead, “Do you have to say it like that? And no he’s not. He has a work meeting. So, I’m kind of helping him out, I guess, but not really because I was going to invite the kid over anyway.”

“So, he’s just dropping him off and picking him up?”

“Well, he may have offered to grab a pizza on his way back to thank me for watching his kid. Which is completely unnecessary because I asked for him to come over before he ever told me about his meeting. I wouldn’t even have known I was babysitting for him if he wouldn’t have told me about it. I never would have expected him to hang around while our kids hung out.”

“Hmm, so you’re going to be having dinner with him, then?”

“And our kids,” you reminded her.

Janice had this all wrong. Of course she did. He was just being friendly. Your kids were friends and they wanted to spend time together. He’d said it himself, you were helping him out of a bind with childcare issues. That was all. He was just being nice and buying everybody dinner. Your sons were going to be there. It wasn’t like it was a date.

“Still. You know, I said maybe you could find a hot, single dad at practice and look at you, finding one on the first go! He is single, right?”

“I think so. He said his best friend was busy and he had no one else to watch Jeremiah. That would make me think the mom isn’t in the picture but I honestly have no idea. We barely talked because he had to start the practice.”

“Well, you should have plenty of time to talk tonight and get clarification on his status.”

“I don’t need clarification on his status. I told you, I’m done with all of that. I had Justin. There is no way I will ever find anything that can begin to compare with what we had.”

“You definitely won’t if you just throw in the towel. Come on, Aly. Would it really be so bad to just talk to him a bit? I’m not saying you have to jump his bones tonight. I mean, probably wouldn’t hurt. You haven’t been laid in two years, my friend. Your vagina could use some airing out. Clear all the cobwebs that have settled, you know?”

“Jesus, you are so foul,” you sighed, catching sight of a young family heading into the office. The dad had a little boy on his shoulders. He said something to the mom and she grinned, leaning up onto her toes to kiss him. The sight sent familiar pangs of the loss of what could have been, what should have been, through you.

“Maybe but you know I’m right. Anyway, if you’re going to be such a prude, then just talk to him. Be his friend. If your kids like each other that much, chances are this won’t be the only time you’re around each other. And then who knows?”

“Yeah…who knows…” you sighed, thinking you did know. The universe was never going to let you get that lucky twice. Something had to be wrong with this guy.

___________________________________________________________

You folded the towel from the dryer as you watched Jeremiah and Eli race around the backyard, dressed up in Eli’s superhero costumes. Your son had an entire bin of them. He was obsessed. Comic books and action figures covered the shelves in his bedroom. Eli had always loved superheroes but Matt, who was a self-proclaimed, very proud nerd, had gotten him into comics. Most of the items Eli now had came from Matt himself, stuff he’d kept since he was a kid.

You'd survived the drop-off, being cordial and friendly without giving off any signals that you were interested in anything more. At least, you thought you were. It was hard to concentrate when that man looked so damn good, standing there in gray slacks and a yellow sweater. When his cologne hit your olfactory nerves, a woodsy scent of sandalwood and pine, you had gripped the door frame, fighting back the swoon that was quickly coming on. But no, you were sure you kept things professional, just two parents in the midst of an exchange for a playdate.

Besides, you weren't even sure you were interested in anything more. You didn’t even know how to do more at this point. It had been so long since you'd spent real time with any man that wasn’t Justin or Matt. And even if Janice kept pushing you to move on, even if it had been two years, you weren't sure you were ready.

And you weren't sure if Eli would be ready. His therapist said he was doing well. He had adjusted as best as you could expect a child who’d lost his father to adjust. But did that mean he was ready to see his mom with a new guy? Was it fair to bring someone new into his life that could just disappear? What if you started something with someone and it ended badly and he lost another male figure and his best friend at the same time? Would he be so well adjusted then? He had settled into their routine, him and you against the world. You weren't sure you could change that on him.

He’d only been five when it happened but you had made sure that he’d never forgotten his daddy. A picture of him and Justin sat on his nightstand by his bed. It was one of your favorites, taken at the pumpkin farm when Eli was four. He held a giant pumpkin, looking so proud, when really Justin was holding the bottom of it for him, both of them beaming their matching smiles.

The two of you talked about him often, you sharing stories with him of you and Justin and him and Justin. Reminded him how much his daddy had loved him. You couldn’t allow him to forget. You couldn’t do that to Justin whose smile could have lit up the entire planet the first time he laid eyes on his son.

“Mommy! We’re hungry!” Eli yelled as he and Jeremiah came racing in the back door.

You glanced over at the clock, “Well, Jeremiah’s dad is bringing pizza and he should be here any minute. Do you think Superman and Batman can wait just a few minutes to eat?”

Eli groaned, dramatically tumbling down to the floor, “But fighting crime and saving the world is hard work. It makes us so hungry, mommy.”

“Okay…how about you two have some strawberries?” you offered, thinking it wouldn’t be too filling and it would get something good in their system before they loaded up on carbs and cheese.

“Strawberries!” Jeremiah’s eyes lit up. “They’re my favorite fruit. Daddy takes me strawberry picking every single year and we get a ton. My daddy makes strawberry jam and it’s so good on my toast.” His eyes went wide, shooting over to Eli. “Hey! I’ll ask my dad if you guys can come this year! It’s super fun. They have goats, cows, chickens, and ponies that you can ride!”

“Can we mommy?” Eli asked, turning those sweet blue eyes up at you.

“I…uh…I mean, strawberry picking around here isn’t for another month or so. But, maybe, I guess? I mean, if Eli’s daddy wants to take you too, that would be fine.”

“You can come too!” Jeremiah told you. “They have other stuff there like fancy soaps and stuff that they make. My mommy used to like those.”

“Oh, well, maybe…” you muttered as you busied yourself with getting out the strawberries. You ran them under water before working at slicing them onto a plate for the boys to share.

His mommy used to like those? So, she’d been around during his life, obviously. Enough for him to remember going strawberry picking with them. Unless, like Eli, he was repeating stories his dad had shared with him. Where was she now? Had she left? Had she died? You couldn’t very well ask a little boy. What if she had passed? You couldn’t bring up that pain for him.

“Did we ever go strawberry picking with daddy?” asked Eli as the boys sat down at the table, the plate of strawberries between them.

You swallowed, “No. We didn’t go strawberry picking but we used to go to the apple orchard every fall and daddy would put you up on his shoulders so you could get the apples. And we always went to the pumpkin farm too.”

“We still do that!”

“Yes we do,” you smiled as you washed your hands. You worked so hard to keep the traditions that you and Justin started alive. It was another way for you to remind your son how incredible the five short years he had with his dad was. You looked up when there was a knock at the door, drying your hands on a kitchen towel. “I bet that’s Jeremiah’s daddy with the pizza.”

Smoothing your hands over your hair, you inhaled deeply, reminding yourself that this was just two parents whose kids had become best friends getting to know each other. No pressure. No reason to be nervous. You were simply trying to be good parents.

Grabbing onto the door, you swung it open, only to feel like the entire world had turned upside down at the sight of Steve. There he stood in those slacks and that yellow sweater that looked so damn good on him. Not many people could pull off yellow but boy, he could. His right arm was raised, two pizza boxes balancing on his hand and a smile that could have outshone the sun on his face.

“Pizza, as promised,” he announced.

Gathering yourself, you returned his smile, “The boys will be very relieved. Superman and Batman have been battling the forces of evil all afternoon and they are wasting away to nothing.”

Steve’s cheeks hollowed out as he released a long, audible breath, “Can’t have that. How will they ever keep the city safe if we don’t recharge them with greasy pizza? But seriously, I hope he was good for you.”

“He was great,” you assured him. “Seriously.”

“Good. Thanks again. You were a real lifesaver.”

“No problem. I…”

“Daddy! Where’s the pizza!?” came Jeremiah’s whine from the kitchen, loud and impatient.

“Sorry. It’s right here.” Steve grinned, tossing you a wink that had you dazed, before making his way into the kitchen, plopping the boxes down in the middle of the table. “We can’t have Superman and Batman losing their strength. Have to keep them fed so they can keep the city safe. Are we currently in Gotham or Metropolis?”

“Daddy,” Jeremiah sighed, looking exasperated with his father. “Everyone knows both of those places are based on New York City. Then we can be there together.”

“Oh, sorry,” snorted Steve, sharing an amused look with you. “I am not as well versed in superhero lore as you.”

“I know. Uncle Dusty knows way more than you.”

“Of course he does because Uncle Dusty is so much cooler than your boring, old dad.” Steve rolled his eyes, pulling out the chair next to Jeremiah and having a seat.

“You have a brother?” you asked as you stretched your arm up to retrieve the plastic paper plate holders from the top shelf. Turning, your breath caught in your throat. Steve’s eyes were watching you, focused on your midsection, right where your sweater had ridden up when you'd reached for the plates. He quickly looked down at his son as you cleared your throat and set the holders and plates on the table.

“Uhh…no. I mean, not really,” he laughed. “Dustin isn’t actually my brother. I used to babysit him actually. I helped him out one day. There were some older kids picking on him and his friends at the park and I stepped in. Anyway, he went home and told his mom about this cool teenager and she tracked me down and asked if I’d be interested in babysitting. I think she really just wanted him to have a guy in his life. His dad died when he was young and he was an only child. Anyway, he was ten and I was sixteen and he just latched on like a leech and stuck. So…” He balanced his elbows on the table, hands facing up. “I guess he’s mine now. Him and Jere, here, are really close. Jere is into all the nerdy stuff that Dustin likes so Dustin is like his hero.”

“Uncle Dusty is amazing! He taught me how to make a homemade rocket,” Jeremiah told you, his smile so like his dad’s.

But his eyes were different, a beautiful blue like the color of the ocean on a sunny day. And his nose was rounded, a cute little button, the complete opposite of Steve’s which was longer and pointed, almost Romanesque. He must have gotten those features from his mom, which left you wondering where she was again.

“Yeah, and you almost burned the garage down. That thing singed the walls. I had to pull out the fire extinguisher,” Steve reminded his son, grabbing plates and placing them into the holders.

Eli’s eyes went wide, “You almost started a fire?”

“Only a little one but you should have seen the rocket. It zoomed around the garage and then flew out and went bang! It was so cool.”

“Yeah, real cool,” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Daddy, did you get just cheese?” asked Jeremiah as Steve moved to open one of the boxes.

“Of course, kid. Do you think I’m new here?” He reached over, ruffling his son’s hair, causing Jeremiah to giggle and that familiar pain, the pain that reminded you of everything your son was missing out on, tightened around you once again. Steve looked up at you. “I got one cheese and one pepperoni. I figured those were safe bets since I don’t know what either of you like. Hope that’s okay?”

“I love cheese too!” Eli told him eagerly, grinning over at Steve. “And mommy usually gets bacon and pineapple for herself but she likes all pizza. Pizza is our favorite food. We have it every Friday and watch a movie.”

“Pineapple on pizza?” Steve questioned skeptically, that beautiful nose crinkling.

“Hey, don’t knock it until you try it,” you teased with a laugh, pouring milk for the kids. “My husb…” You paused, swallowing hard before taking the seat between Steve and Eli. But why shouldn’t you talk about Justin? Steve had to know Eli didn’t arrive by immaculate conception. “My husband thought I was crazy too. He was more of a pepperoni and green onions kind of guy. But my roommate in college is the one who got me into it. She ordered it one night and I was skeptical too but the combination of sweet and savory is delicious.”

“I think I’ll just have to take your word on that one,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Fruit on pizza.” He looked over at the boys, one of those long, thick fingers swirling around by his ear. “Can you believe that? She’s nuts.”

Eli giggled as Steve plopped a piece of cheese on his plate, “My mommy can be crazy. Sometimes we do backward dinner.”

Steve’s lips pursed, head tilted, “Backward dinner? What’s that?”

“It’s where we have dessert first. So, we’ll have hot fudge sundaes and then we’ll have chicken nuggets and vegetables. It’s my favorite kind of dinner because I don’t have to eat all my vegetables before I get my dessert.”

“Oh, that does sound like a good deal because dessert is the best part of the meal,” Steve agreed with a nod.

“I mean, it’s only done sometimes as a special treat.” You didn’t know why you felt the need to justify yourself but you did. “I do make sure he eats healthy.”

Steve laughed, “I’m sure you do. Sometimes Jere Bear and I like to have ice cream for dinner, don’t we?”

“Yeah! My daddy used to work at Scoops Ahoy and they have the best ice cream! I always get a banana split and daddy gets the U.S.S. Butterscotch.”

“Mmm, the U.S.S. Butterscotch is my favorite,” you grinned. “Eli always gets the hot fudge sundae.”

“With extra fudge!” he added.

“Obviously,” Steve scoffed. “You can never have too much fudge.”

“So, how long ago was this when you worked at Scoops Ahoy?” you asked, picturing him in their little sailor outfit. You couldn’t deny that it gave you a little thrill of pleasure.

“Oh god, it’s been years now. I worked there right out of high school. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and when I couldn’t even get into community college, my father forced me to get a job. Said I needed to know what it was like to earn a working man’s wage.” He snorted harshly, leaving you with the impression that his relationship with his father wasn’t a particularly good one. “Anyway, I worked there for a couple years. That’s actually how I met my best friend, Robin.”

“And I assume you did figure out what you wanted to do with your life since you had a work meeting tonight?”

Steve took a large bite of his pizza, the slice folded up in his hand, “I’m a project manager for a construction company.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that job. What exactly do you do?”

“I oversee the building process, make sure everything is completed on time and within budget. I work with the architects and the engineers to develop plans, establish timelines for different phases to be complete, and calculate what labor and materials are going to cost. That’s what my meeting was about tonight actually. We just got a contract for a new subdivision they’re putting in off of Cherry. It’s a big job. We’re thinking it’s going to take about two years.”

“Wow, that’s a long time.”

“Not really when you consider we’re building around sixty new houses. It’s a good thing really, means my team will have plenty of work to do for a while. Steady income, you know? Nothing’s worse than having to lay someone off, knowing you’re possibly making their life impossible.”

“What’s laying off?” asked Eli.

“Well, when we don’t have enough work to do, then we don’t have the money to pay people. So, I have to tell them that we’re letting them go for a while. It’s not really getting fired because you hope you can call them back when there’s more work. They can apply to get money from the government but it’s not nearly as much as they make when they’re working. That can make it hard for them to feed their families and pay their bills.”

“That seems mean,” Eli commented. “Why do you do it?”

“I don’t want to do it. But when the money’s not there, we have no way to pay them. It happens a lot in the wintertime because there’s not as much building when the weather’s bad. That’s why this job is such a good thing because it will be steady work for the next two winters. I won’t have to worry and neither will my guys.”

“Well, that’s good. Did you have to go to school for that or like a trade school?” you inquired.

“No college. I don’t think I was ever made for college. I struggled through high school. Of course, that could have been because I was interested in everything else but high school. That’s why I’m so glad my kiddo here got his mom’s brains. She was an overachiever, still is. I actually started just like my guys, doing the construction part. I got interested in how the job runs and wound up getting my certification. And about four years ago, they promoted me to project manager.”

So Mom definitely wasn’t gone but then why did he need a babysitter? Maybe she was busy too? Or maybe she lived out of town and they shared custody? And this was none of your business. Why were you so interested in what the situation was with mom?

“Wow, that’s amazing. You must have really impressed them then. Going to college isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, anyway. I’ve told Eli, it all depends on what you want to do with your life. Some jobs don’t require college and they’re just as important. I mean, you build homes. You provide a space for families to start their lives and make memories. I think that’s pretty important work.”

A flush rose up along his neck, bright red against the yellow of his sweater. A small smile curved his lips as he tapped the table before looking up at you. The boys had long given up on your conversation, deeply entrenched in one of their own about the latest episode of X-men: Evolution.

“I mean, you work in a pediatrician’s office, right? You help sick kids. I think that might be just a bit more important than what I do. But thanks. What do you do in the office, anyway? Are you the doctor?”

You laughed, “No. That was far more schooling than I was interested in doing. I’m a nurse but honestly, we know just as much as they do. Experience is way more educational than sitting in some class, listening to someone talk about stuff. Sometimes, I think we might know more than the doctors do. But Dr. Wilson is great to work with. He’s not one of those guys that talks down to his nurses or acts like he’s superior because he’s got that M.D. after his name. I worked with plenty of misogynist ego-driven jerks when I worked at the hospital. They act like they’re royalty or something. Dr. Wilson actually trusts us and values our input. He makes us feel like a part of a team instead of a dictatorship.”

The conversation flowed easily, the boys jumping in here and there, all four of you laughing and smiling as you enjoyed your pizza. You could not deny the feeling of rightness in this moment, this moment that was everything you had ever wanted for your son. It was a picture perfect moment in time, this little dinner at your kitchen table full of warmth and laughter.

And no, you weren't insane. It wasn’t that you were looking at this as a family or that you were jumping ten steps ahead of just this pleasant evening. It was just nice to have a full table, to have it not be just you and Eli, to watch your son enjoying himself. He loved when Matt and Janice came for dinner but this was different. He had his best friend with him, the two boys sending each other into hysterics every thirty seconds.

For just this moment, this little slice of time, the weight had been lifted from your shoulders. The constant guilt that you weren't enough, that you could never be enough for your son. You could never be all of the things that he needed you to be. For just this moment, you thought maybe you didn’t have to be if you could surround him with people who provided everything he needed.

“Alright, kiddo, we should probably get heading home so you can take a shower before bed,” Steve announced around seven thirty, pushing back from the table and standing up. He gathered the paper plates, tossing them in the trash. “Did you want help cleaning up before we head out?”

You waved your hand dismissively, “Oh no. That’s not necessary. Just a quick wipe down of the holders and popping the cups in the dishwasher. It will only take a couple minutes.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, seriously. No big deal. Besides, you bought the dinner so the least I can do is the clean up.”

“Yes, but I brought the dinner to thank you for watching my kid.”

“Please. I offered to take him and having Jeremiah here saved me from having to wear the Superman cape and run around with Eli all evening. It was nice to just be an average human instead of a superhero tonight.”

“You’re a nurse,” Steve said with a soft smile, leaning into you, causing your heart to skip a beat. “Pretty sure you’re a superhero all the time.”

“Daddy, can Eli come to our house this weekend? Please? He really wants to meet Miles.”

“Miles?” you asked.

“It’s his dog!” Eli told you excitedly. “He wears capes too! Jeremiah said he can be my sidekick, Robin.”

"Which is silly because that's my Aunt Robin's name," Jeremiah added, "but the cape doesn't fit her so good so she's usually Catwoman because it's a mask and a tail."

Steve laughed, “Sure kid. He can come over. If it’s okay with his mom.”

“Fine with me,” you shrugged. Seeing the joy on your son’s face to get to spend time with his friend was all the reason you needed to readily agree. It definitely did not have to do with having the chance to see his dad again. No. That didn’t factor in at all.

“Okay, well, how about this?” Steve knelt down to his son’s level. “We’ve got baseball practice on Saturday until two. Why don’t we all go get ice cream afterward and then Jeremiah and his mom can come meet Miles afterward?”

“All of us?” you questioned, wondering if you'd heard him correctly.

He rose, head tilting forward, those eyes as warm as a chocolate chip cookie coming right out of the oven, and just as delicious. “Why not? I mean, if you have something else to do…”

“No. No, I don’t. I mean, that would be nice. We haven’t gotten ice cream yet since they opened. And I love dogs. Who doesn’t love dogs? Crazy people, right? So obviously meeting your dog would be fun. I just…I mean…yeah, okay.”

He appeared amused with you once again and you wished you could just pull the foot out of your mouth. It appeared to be permanently wedged there whenever he was around.

“Good. Maybe we can even have a sleepover.” Your breath caught as his mouth dropped open, eyes going wide, one of those hands running nervously through his hair, sweeping it to the side. “I mean the boys. The boys could have a sleepover. At my house. If you’re okay with that?”

Had he meant what you thought he meant? Had that just been an innocent mistake or was he as attracted to you as you were to him? Trying to let your son hang out with his friend was proving to be far more complicated than you thought it would be when you'd approached him on the baseball field.

“Yeah.” You weren't sure why. You hadn’t even let Eli stay the night anywhere before but there was just something about Steve that you trusted. “Eli would love that, honestly.”

“You’re gonna sleep at my house!” Jeremiah yelled, grabbing Eli’s hands, the two boys jumping around the kitchen.

“Obviously, they’re both okay with it,” Steve chuckled, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “So, we’ll see you Saturday at practice?”

“Yeah. Saturday.”

You said your goodbyes, the boys both still screeching, talking about how it was only two more sleeps until their sleepover. Steve gave you one last smile and a little finger wave before turning and taking his son’s hand, leading him to his Ford Explorer that was parked just behind your Prius.

“Mommy, are you and Jeremiah’s dad friends now too?”

“Kind of, I guess,” you shrugged.

“Cool because if you’re friends and want to play with each other all the time then me and Eli can play with each other all the time too!”

You gripped the door, closing it slowly behind you. Your son had no idea the implications of what he’d just said but you definitely did. Your entire body was vibrating with the implications of what he’d just said.

___________________________________________________________

“Daddy, when Eli spends the night can we make a fort like the one we made that one time where it was the whole living room? Remember? And we put up the Christmas lights inside and we put in our sleeping bags and pillows.”

Steve blinked, glancing up at his son in the rearview mirror. He’d completely missed everything that his kid had just said. The boy had been rambling from the moment they’d gotten in the car and he was having trouble focusing, his thoughts completely focused on the last hour of his day.

You had been consuming all of his brain space since you'd approached him yesterday on the baseball field. Yeah, you were gorgeous. He’d noticed that instantly. Who wouldn’t? But there was something else about you, something that wouldn’t let his brain rest, something that kept poking at him, telling him to do something about these feelings you were stirring up inside him.

And it had been so long since he’d had anything stirring inside of him. After him and Nancy had split four years ago, Steve had jumped right into another relationship. He struggled with being alone. According to Robin, it was his dysfunctional childhood. The little boy inside of him who never got the love he needed from his parents, constantly seeking it out in someone else.

According to Robin, that was why he’d married Nancy even though the two of them had been all wrong for each other. He clung to the first solid thing that had come along and refused to see any of the millions of little signs that it wasn’t working. Of course, that was according to Robin, his best friend who thought she knew more about the internal workings of his mind than he did.

He’d dated Stacy for a year, convinced himself that she was the one, told Robin he was thinking of proposing and his obnoxious friend had slapped him upside the head. To be fair, he probably needed a good jarring, something to knock some sense into him. Marrying Stacy would have led to him being twice divorced. She had been even worse for him than Nancy.

Not that there was anything wrong with Nance. No, she was amazing. She was smart, beautiful, kind, and an absolutely wonderful mother. Neither of them had ever cheated or hurt the other. They simply just weren’t a good fit. It seemed so obvious now when he could see how well her and Jonathan slid together, like two puzzle pieces locking into place perfectly.

He’d dated a few other women after Stacy, most recently Janet, a single mother that he met at the park last summer. They’d made it about four months before he saw it was going nowhere. She was clingy, pushing for them to move in together, and it was in that moment that he realized he could not see a future with her. The idea of waking up next to her every day was exhausting. He’d ended it and she had not taken it well, calling him every name in the book, very loudly, in the middle of the restaurant he’d taken her to to try to soften the blow.

Steve didn’t lack for options. It felt like the moms of this town were throwing themselves at him constantly, some of them not even single. But none of them fit. None of them made him feel that thing, that thing that Robin said was like the Big Bang, everything exploding and then rearranging into this perfect arrangement. She kept telling him it was called falling in love, not forcing in love. He needed to stop trying to make it happen and just let it come to him. Yeah, well, that was easy for her to see, the girl who’d found the right person in high school.

Was that what he was doing right now? Was he just trying to force something to be what he wanted? Your kids were friends. You'd approached him because you wanted to set up a time for your sons to be able to play. It could be that simple. You might not even be interested in him or in anything.

He knew your husband had died. Jere had told him that Eli’s dad was in heaven. But he didn’t know how and he didn’t know how long ago. Maybe you were still freshly grieving. You'd definitely struggled when you were talking about him tonight. If you were still in the midst of your grief, the last thing you needed was some guy trying to push you to go out with him sometime.

No, he probably needed to just take a step back. Cool it off. Yeah, you were beautiful and you seemed far more real than most of the women in this town who were interested in him. But if he tried to force something that wasn’t there, he wouldn’t be the only one to suffer. Jere would too because he would inevitably lose his best friend when things went south. He couldn’t do that to him.

“Daddy, are you even listening to me?” Jeremiah huffed from the backseat, breaking through Steve’s thoughts.

“I’m sorry buddy. What did you say?”

“I said can we make a big fort when Eli comes with the lights and our sleeping bags and stuff?”

“Oh yeah. Of course, bud. We can definitely do that. You want to make some s’mores too?”

“Yeah! And can we have popcorn and watch the new Scooby Doo movie too?”

“Absolutely!” Steve replied, grinning in the mirror. “And I can grill some hamburgers and hot dogs. We’ll make it the best sleepover ever, kid.”

His son’s smile stretched from ear to ear, reminding Steve why he very much needed to focus on his son’s happiness instead of his loneliness. No, he didn’t need to jump into another relationship with some woman he’d just met. He was just seeing things he wanted to see, trying to rearrange the pieces into the image he was so desperate for.

“Is Eli's mommy gonna sleepover too? Our fort will be big enough.”

“Uh, no buddy,” Steve answered. “She’s gonna come over and see Miles but she’s not staying.”

“Why not? Don’t you want a friend, daddy?”

Yeah, he did. More than his son could possibly know.

Chapter 3

Taglist: @katethetank

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sassyjoy · 11 months

Text

missed you

genre: smut

word count: 727

⋆｡˚ ⋆ ☾

"did you missed me that much?" joy chuckled when she saw you hurriedly took off your clothes upon entering your bedroom. joy was just lying on your bed, naked, waiting to be fucked. you were the one who took off her clothes she was wearing. she wasn't even able to completely put her bag on the couch when you started kissing her as you both enter your unit earlier. if not only for joy wanting you to fuck her in your bed, you already had fucked her in your couch. you took your words seriously when you told joy that she just needs to show up and you're going to do the rest.

you kept telling joy that you've been waiting for this day to come where you will meet again since your last hook up was three weeks ago. joy just had her finals week in her school and prior to that, she had to submit the final outputs for her major subjects. you, on the other hand, were also busy with your final exams.

you immediately hovered on top of joy which made the latter excited about what's about to happen. she's finally getting laid after weeks of just using her fingers in pleasuring herself.

you kissed her torridly, obvious that you've been wanting her for weeks but couldn't. having a friend that is willing to be your fuck buddy is great not until your schedules don't match and you don't get to meet and fuck to satisfy both of your sexual needs.

your mouth made its way to her neck, to her collarbone and down to her chest. you left few soft kisses on her rose-colored nipple before massaging her soft milky boobs and going back to her lips for a kiss. you nibbled her bottom lip that made her whimper lightly. you saw joy leaning forward for more when you pulled away from her.

"did you miss me?"

"hmm, not really." joy answered.

"really?" you questioned her as your hand made its way to her wet core. joy shut her eyes tightly when she felt your tongue on her center. she can't help but to moan, thank god for your skilled tongue. joy loves the way you're eating her out.

"fuck!" joy moaned loudly. you stopped when you noticed that she was close.

"why-" joy automatically rolled her eyes back when you inserted your long, hard, cock inside her in one go.

"fuck, i missed this!" you cursed as you pull her body closer to you. you reached out for her face, wanting to kiss her lips as you started thrusting into her. you continued thrusting harder, your arms placed on each side of her body for support.

joy missed this. her fingers weren't enough to give her the pleasure you were giving. she knew it was the right choice that she did not purchase the dildo she was planning to buy online. your performance cannot be compared to a sex toy. the way you're fucking her, the way you're pleasuring her, the way you're driving her insane— it's unmatched.

"you're so tight!" you moaned. you whimpered when joy met your thrusts.

"ahh, shit!"

"fuck, i'm coming!" joy moaned loudly. you kissed her neck, leaving a mark on it.

you pulled your cock away from her pussy only to thrust it harder. both of your hands are now on her waist, steadying her as you began moving your hips harder than before.

you fucked her relentlessly and you're loving every bit of it. the image of joy and her perky breasts bounce because of the intensity of how she's getting pounded, her long dark hair getting messy, sweat forming on her forehead, and moans slipping past her lips just drives you more to fuck her cunt mercilessly.

no one has ever seen her being a mess like this. it is truly a privilege for you to fuck her since you knew that there are lots of guys in her inbox in her social media accounts wanting to get close to her.

“s-shit. i'm coming!” you whispered out of breath and with one hard thrust, joy felt your cum fill her inside. some even started dripping down her legs but she's too exhausted to care.

your arms were wrapped around her and your cock was still inside her pussy and fuck, you're still hard.

#girl group x male reader #joy smut #kpop smut #park sooyoung smut #red velvet joy smut #red velvet smut #red velvet joy x male reader #yeri smut #irene smut #seulgi smut #wendy smut #kpop smut fic

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jujumin-translates · 1 month

Text

★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 16 - My Allies

Izumi: That should be it for the shopping.

Tsumugi: Ah, right. I ran out of fertilizer…

Izumi: Should we make a stop at the flower shop?

Tsumugi: No, it’s a bit heavy, so I’ll ask someone else to help me next time I’m out and I’ll get it then.

Izumi: Got it. Oh, and speaking of flower shops, there’s that boy who’s a fan of ours that lives in a flower shop that I pass by a lo--.

Towa: …

Izumi: Huh? Towa-kun?

Towa: Ah…

Izumi: Are you okay? Are you feeling sick?

*Stomach growls*

Towa: I wanna… eat some rice…

*Thud*

Izumi: Huh?

Tsumugi: …He collapsed in the middle of the street?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Towa: Let’s eat!

Tsumugi: You must’ve been starving.

Izumi: But I thought you were living at your aunt’s flower shop? It’s pretty close, so why…?

Towa: Actually… I ran away from home.

Sakuya: Ran away!?

Sakyo: Reminds me of a certain someone.

Azami: There’s a lotta people who run away from home in this dorm.

Kumon: Ahaha, true~.

Tenma: You were one of them, though.

Izumi: Did you run away because there’s something troubling you?

Towa: …

Masumi: If you’re not going to say anything, leave.

Sakuya: Hey, c’mon, he probably has his reasons.

Towa: …Sorry for causing you guys so much trouble.

Towa: …I’ve always admired you all. I’ve always wanted to be someone who could be passionate about something.

Towa: All my studies, my lessons, my hobbies, I’ve always done them half-heartedly. I’ve always tried to not work as hard as I could.

Sakuya: …Why is that?

Towa: …I didn’t want to disappoint myself.

Towa: I guess I didn’t want to try too hard, fail, and then be disappointed in myself.

Towa: If I did, I’d be embarrassed, and scared, and feel like I should just curl up and die then and there.

Towa: But then I happened to see a play by MANKAI Company’s Spring Troupe, and fell in love with how much everyone was sparkling.

Towa: I was desperate to do something like that, to actually accomplish something. I wanted to try and shine like that, too.

Towa: But I didn’t know what to do…

Towa: I wanted to be closer to Veludo Way, where you all were, so I sent in an application to Hanasaki and transferred there last minute.

Izumi: That’s the reason why…!?

Banri: Pretty damn impressive that you managed to pass the entrance exam. The standard score you need to get in there is pretty high.

Towa: I studied harder than I ever had in my entire life!

Sakuya: You sure were motivated, huh?

Masumi: You’re insane.

Towa: It was because I wanted to be closer to all of you guys, but I had another reason too…

Towa: Everyone in my family really spoils me. They’re always ready to drop everything to give me anything I’m interested in or anything I need.

Towa: They’ll almost always listen to my selfishness and it made all my friends really jealous when I told them, so I wondered if it was really okay for me to keep living like that…

Towa: They didn’t even object when I transferred schools.

Towa: They said I should go wherever I wanted to go. And not only that, but they helped me with cram school and got me a tutor too.

Towa: They also asked my aunt if I could live with her.

Towa: My family is really kind, and I love them so much, but I hate how spoiled I become when I’m with them. That’s why I decided to leave.

Yuki: You’ve got guts.

Tsumugi: It’s really nice of your family to support the path you chose, Towa-kun.

Towa: But… Apparently, they thought it wouldn’t be long before I came back home.

Towa: “It’s not like there’s anything he really wants to do”, “He won’t be able to do it alone, away from his family”...

Towa: When I overheard my aunt and my mom say stuff like that while they were talking on the phone, I got so mad that I just stormed out.

Towa: …But they were right. All I have is the things I admire. I don’t have a clue about what I actually want to do with myself.

Towa: I really can’t do anything on my own…

Sakuya: I don’t think that’s true.

Citron: You have already made it this far!

Chikage: You’ve even managed to make your way into the dorms of the theater company you admire.

Towa: Ah…

Itaru: You tried your hardest, got accepted into Hanasaki, and made it all the way to the Holy Land, isn’t that enough proof right there?

Sakuya: I think it’s amazing that you’re venturing out into a whole new world entirely on your own.

Itaru: You don’t need to rush things. Everyone figures out what they want to do with themselves eventually.

Tsumugi: I think you probably understand feeling like that the most, right, Banri-kun?

Banri: This sorta thing’s all about timing, and, well, I guess fate’s sorta a part of it too. There ain’t any point in rushin’ things.

Juza: For you, it was more like when people try ‘n stage car crashes for insurance money, though.

Banri: The hell you just say?

Izumi: You’re able to do lots of things.

Izumi: If we hadn’t met you, we never would’ve thought of doing that workshop, Towa-kun.

Towa: …Thank you so much. I’m still really sorry about all the trouble I’ve caused you.

Izumi: You’re aunt’s probably worried sick, so someone should get in touch with her. Are you able to do that on your own?

Towa: Yeah.

Towa: --Ah, so many notifs in the chat.

shiki: Please contact us.

kar: Don’t die

Iv: wanna come over to my place?

shiki: Just calm down and don’t do anything rash!

Izumi: Chat?

Towa: They’re friends I met through a game called “Bloom Game”.

Towa: We’re always talking about all kinds of different things on BlooCh-- the in-game chat.

Towa: We’ve never met before, and we don’t even know what any of the others look like, but that’s why we can talk and feel like we’re always so connected.

Towa: It’s just another one of the places I belong.

Izumi: I see. Make sure you get in touch with them too, then.

Towa: I will.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Sakuya: Do you need someone to take you home?

Towa: I’m good. It’s not that far away and my aunt said she’d meet me halfway.

Sakuya: Got it. Well then, get home safely, okay?

Citron: And you are always welcome to come here if you ever run away from home again!

Masumi: Please don’t.

Tsuzuru: Not sure when we became a place that welcomes runaways, but, I guess it’s not so bad being a place like that.

Izumi: Bye.

Towa: Thank you for the meal! And good luck with your next performance! I can’t wait to see it!

*Footsteps*

Tsuzuru: Our next performance, huh…

Itaru: We’ve still gotta face our own problems too.

Chikage: …Right.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Phone notification*

Sakuya: Ah… I really need to reply…

Sakuya: Haaah… Something that’s like us, huh.

Tenma: Does the upcoming Romeo have lines like that?

Sakuya: Huh? Ah, no.

Tenma: Heard your rehearsals didn’t go too well.

Sakuya: …Yuzo-san watched us rehearse today.

Sakuya: He told us to think about what makes a play a Spring Troupe play again, and to think about what our debut performance was like too.

Sakuya: We’ve definitely improved and gained a lot more experience, but what are we lacking more than back then…

Sakuya: There’s no way our feelings aren’t stronger than they were back then.

Tenma: Something you’re lacking, huh? There were lots of things you were lacking during your RomiJuli performance.

Tenma: Your acting was rough at best, and it was overall a pretty shaky start. But even so… I still wonder about what exactly it was that made you guys sparkle like that.

Tenma: You all just seemed to be enjoying the new world of theater with everything you had in you.

Sakuya: New world…

Tenma: You made me want to go with you-- To take that step into the world of the stage.

Sakuya: I was so happy to hear you praise RomiJuli after you joined the troupe, Tenma-kun.

Tenma: Now that I think about it, you must’ve had problems back during rehearsals for your debut performance, right?

Tenma: I mean, I did ask you how you solved problems during your performance while we were rehearsing for Summer Troupe’s debut performance.

Sakuya: I guess you’re right…

Sakuya: While we were rehearsing for our debut, Yuzo-san told us that we didn’t understand a thing about the stage and--...

Sakuya: That’s it! Thanks, Tenma-kun! I’m gonna go and get a little more acquainted with the stage again!

Tenma: --No problem.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3!#a3! translation #towa ichinoe #sakuya sakuma #tenma sumeragi #// towa’s so real for everything he does

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forbebeandjam · 2 months

Text

My Sleepy Head Pt. 2 | Minah Lee X Fem Reader | 21+

Summary: You have been holding back from touching your girlfriend. Little did you know, she has been more needy than you.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: 21+ very explicit scenarios. SMUT! Fingering, eating out, etc. MDNI

READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED

A/N: Here is the second part that I promised. This is a smut so I hope you like it •u• anyways!! Enjoy!!!

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Finals week was at your door. You and Minah had spent all of your nights together and you watched her shine brighter in every performance. Even though you two had been dating for almost a year, you were still too shy to ask her to do anything in bed with you.

Now it was more difficult than anything because you needed to study and keep your focus on your books, classes, and notes. It took everything in you to concentrate. Her performances kept replying in your mind. You wanted to do good so you could be free and graduate for good.

You spent around two weeks always working and going to school. You didn’t take a break and worst you couldn’t even see Minah. This is as heartbreaking for you and her. Your finals were finally here and you were going to school every day when your friend would pick you up.

You always managed to post about your food breaks and healthy snacks since you were a wellness influencer and Minah was always the first one to see them and comment.

On the last day of finals, your friend picked you up and he drove you to your school. You took your final exam and stretched in your seat as you felt the pressure lift off your shoulders.

Your friend had texted you, inviting you to grab lunch with you and you agreed. You knew Minah had to work till late so you decided to grab her some food as well so she didn’t have to cook later.

As you were eating, you made a quick video with your friend and posted it sharing the healthy meal you got and the healthy meal your friend got as a pro boxer.

“You’re doing good at this influencer thing, Y/N. Thank you for making me part of your journey,” he said as he started to dig in.

“It’s no problem. We’ve been friends since elementary. I’ll go order some food for Minah before eating. Do you want me to get any for your boyfriend?” you said and he shook his head.

“He’s taking me out later,” you nodded at his words before placing an order for Minah. After eating, you two walked outside and he got in a taxi but he kissed you on the cheek before getting into the car.

Minah on the other hand wanted you. She would try to hold back every time she would see you buried in your books. She would go to sleep craving your kisses and touches. What you didn’t know was that Minah was in rehearsal in the building in front of where you stood with your friend. She looked through the one-way glass and tried to control her emotions. She wanted to run down and rip you away from him.

This caused her to have a hard time focusing during practice causing her leader to pull her to the side.

“Minah, what is going on with you? Are you okay?” The tall girl asked. Minah rubbed her face and tried to smile but nothing worked. How would she tell Bada that she wasn’t okay because she needed you?

“Yes, I… I’m sorry. I’ll try harder,” she said and Bada nodded giving Minah another opportunity to prove that she was indeed okay. They walked back to the center of the room and started to practice from the beginning. Bada set the track to Cockiness by Rihana

As the music started, Minah began dancing as best as she could but the song made it nearly impossible for her to focus as she thought about you and all the ways she wanted you. Just as she was about to go into the chorus, she missed a step and fell to the floor. She couldn’t deny any longer that she was frustrated emotionally and sexually.

She excused herself to the bathroom and locked herself in a stall as she tried to catch her breath.

“Minah, get it together,” she said as she fanned herself. She took a deep breath before walking out of the stall when her phone went off and she saw a notification from your Instagram.

You posted a story of your workout outfit and it drove her insane. She splashed water on her face and walked back to the room where the girls were looking at her in concern. Bada walked up to her and held her hand to her forehead.

“My gosh! You are burning up! Minah, go home and rest. You need it,” she said. Minah didn’t protest. She knew if she stayed she would make the same mistakes and would be unable to focus.

So with a small nod, she picked up her things began to walk out of the building, and took a cab to your shared apartment. As soon as she arrived, she dropped her bags on the floor and walked to the room. She let her hair down and undressed herself till she was only in undergarments.

She walked to the shower and turned on the cold knob drenching her body completely. Her body shivered and she bit the side of her cheek as the cold water ran down her heated body. After showering, she wrapped herself in a towel and walked out of the room. She was looking through the drawers for clothes when she realized today was laundry day and she seemed to have forgotten to put the clothes in the washer.

She grabbed her clothes still wrapped in the towel and quickly threw them in the washer before going back to the room.

“Minah?” She heard your voice and froze in her spot. She heard your footsteps and realized she was naked with only a towel covering her. A small shiver ran through her body when she felt the bed sink.

“Baby, are you okay? You look kinda tense,” you said placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Why are you home so early? Did something happen with Bada?” You felt her body tensing up even more.

“Y/N please,” she said in a soft begging voice.

“Minah?” You asked as you dragged your hand down her arm. She bit her lip and shut her eyes tightly.

“Y/N, you’re… you’re teasing me. Please stop,” she said as she grabbed your arm. Her hand let go of her towel and her bare figure was revealed to you fully for the first time. Your breath got caught in your throat and that’s when she felt the cool sensation on her body.

“Oh my. I’m sorry! I’ll change and be right out,” she fumbled to pick up her towels but you grabbed her hands.

“You’re beautiful,” you said as you moved the towel aside and kissed her shoulder. She seemed to melt under your touch when a soft moan escaped her lips. You looked at her face and smiled softly.

“Y/N, I need you,” she said and you nodded.

You as well as her have been holding back your lustful desires and you were ready to give in to her desires. You kissed her lips hungrily and her hands found their way to your breasts.

Sloppy kissing sounds filled your room as she undressed you and attacked your neck feeling every inch of your body and cupping your now wet pussy.

You moaned as you felt her hand on your core and she threw you on the bed.

“Minah,” you called but she didn’t reply to your voice. She kept sucking and biting on your neck as she enjoyed your taste and the marks she was leaving.

“Minah, wait,” you said again. She looked at you as she used her hands to hover above you. Her eyes were dark and her brows were furrowed.

“You know I don’t like when others touch you. Care to explain why that man had his hands on you today? Why did he kiss you?” She asked.

“Baby, I’m sorry. It’s not like that. I promise,” you said. A slight smirk appeared on her face as she lowered herself on you.

“Prove it,” she said and with one swift move, she flipped you so you were on top of her. You were startled.

Of course, you weren’t new to sexual intercourse with women but something about Minah made it all feel new to you. The way she touched you, the way she kissed you, and the way her eyes were locked on yours made it feel like it was the first time.

“Prove it, Y/N. I want you to show how sorry you are. I want you to prove to me that I am the only one,” she said with a seductive tone. You couldn’t hold back your desires any longer so you smashed your lips into hers and kissed her sloppy.

You used your hand to grope her breasts and traced her figure. Soft breaths escaped her lips as her eyes were shut. You had never seen her so vulnerable to your touch and it turned you on making your folds wetter.

As your hand reaches her core, her legs part willingly and you smile at her actions. You used your middle finger to collect her juices to draw circles in her sensitive clit. Her sweet moans started to fill the room and they rang in your ears.

You decided to give her more. More pleasure, more love, more of anything she asked for. You were willing to do anything she asked of you.

You brought your fingers to your lips tasting her and went back down inserting two fingers into her. You noticed how her eyes opened wide as well as her mouth. She gripped onto your shoulders and her nails dug into your skin.

You bit your lip as tears build up in your eyes. You were new to pain and pleasure and you loved that it came from Minah. The woman under you has always made you feel new emotions that you were unable to describe but you loved everything about it.

You pumped your fingers in and out at a slow pace making sure she took all of you and you curled your fingers trying to find the right spot. Every thrust emitted a new sensation inside of her and you kissed her lips to trap all of her moans.

As you thrusted again you finally found her sweet spot and you pressed on it hard. You moved faster and she let out the most beautiful pornographic sounds and in a matter of seconds, she released all over your hand.

She dropped her body on the bed and let out a last moan when you pulled out of her. Her chest moved up and down as she tried to regulate her breathing. She licked her lips and opened her eyes.

“Good girl,” she said as she used her towel to wipe your hand.

“Lay down for me, my love,” she said and gently lifted you and placed you on the edge of the bed.

“If it hurts, just hold my hand,” she said and you nodded as you intertwined your hand to hers. She moved down on you and bit your inner thigh and placed a kiss on the same spot.

You let out a moan before gripping the sheets. The next thing you did was arch your back as you felt her wet, warm tongue against your sensitive bud and she inserted two fingers inside of you with no warning and with great force.

She moved inside and out of you rapidly and ate you out. Your moans were loud and high-pitched. Your hand was tightly gripping her hand and the other one gripped the sheets.

What finally drove you to the edge was when you felt her digging her teeth into your clit. The amount of pain was just enough to bring your entire body immense pleasure and she hit your spot at the same time making you cum all over her face.

She licked her lips and went up to kiss you passionately as you tried to recover from your high. As she broke the kiss, a string of saliva and your juices connected your lips.

“Minah~” you mumbled as she helped you get cleaned up and she helped you to the bathroom. She got you in the shower and hopped in with you.

You took a warm shower with her as you helped each other clean up. After the shower, you dressed yourself and her in your clothes and you both sat on the couch together.

“So… who was that?” Minah finally asked as you played Singles Inferno on the TV.

“A childhood friend. We met for lunch and to film some content but he had to leave because his… boyfriend was waiting for him,” you said with a smile and looked at Minah’s flustered face.

“Sorry, baby. I got overly jealous,” she said as she hurried her face in your neck.

“If that was your jealousy state, remind me to make you jealous more often,” you smirked when she hit your arm softly.

Thank you for reading!!!🩵

#minah x reader #street woman fighter 2 #minah lee #Minah Lee smut #minah fluff #teambebe #team bebe #BEBE #forbebeandjam #honeybee156

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skwpr · 5 months

Text

Have you ever heard of the Pareto Principle? No? How about the 80/20 rule? They are one and the same. This is a rule that says that 80% of the result you get comes from 20% of the effort you give. This is from Wikipedia: The 80/20 rule is an axiom of business management that “80% of sales come from 20% of clients. This means if you aren’t giving the right kind of effort, you’re probably not get 80% of what you want.

1 . Answer questions | Study smarter, not harder

Reading your notes over and over again is not the best, or the smartest way to study. Sure, it’s great, and helps, but sometimes you can get more out of a different way of studying smart. One way to study smarter and not harder is to answer questions. Get questions from past exam papers, from online, or just make up questions form your notes or textbooks. This is a way to form super rapid connections in your brain. It makes exam taking so much easier than if you only read, read and read.

2 . Organize your notes to study smarter

When I say that you should organize your notes, I mean that you need to be completely aware of how all your study notes look like, whether it’s your class notes, textbooks, or study notes. Learn your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to school.

What subjects are you good at? What subjects are you bad at? What topics do you like? What do you find easy? That’s not all. Are all your notes up to date? Do you have all the notes you need? Do you have the textbooks you need? You need to fix up all the notes you don’t have. This will help you to learn how to study smarter and not harder!

3 . Set a strict routine to study smarter, not harder

This is one of my most recommended tips to study smarter and not harder. If you get into a strict routine and tell yourself that every day at 10am you will study, it will be really easy to study. Routines are very important for human beings. It makes us very efficient. If you study every day like clockwork, it means you will get better grades!

Sticking to your routine is important. That means you have to take other factors into account. These include, sleeping on time, eating right, and taking care of yourself in general. Set a time for studying right now. Are you a morning person, or maybe a night owl? Use this to your advantage and set a study time. If you try it out, you will see how much it helps you out.

4 . Be in it for the long run

Studying is about being in it for the long run. What does long run mean, you ask? This is when you know that you aren’t going to be studying for only one night every exam season. You need to finally accept that studying is going to be a big part of your life for a few years, depending on what stage of education you are at.

Face it – being a student is your only obligation right now. It’s the time to learn new things and decide on your career path for the next stage in your life. That’s why it’s important for you to have the right mindset when it comes to studying. The right mindset is what helps you to study smarter and not harder. Because you know that it’s not about the all-nighter the day before the exam. It’s about constantly refreshing your knowledge.

5 . Set realistic goals

Getting motivated and pumped up is great. It happens to me all the time. I watch one youtube video and think, yes! This is my time to finally shine! I have so much energy right now, I could do it all!

Don’t tell yourself that you will study all your notes, all your textbooks, and everything in between in one hour, or one day. It’s just not possible, or feasible. Break studying down into chunks. Set a smaller goal. Here is an example of a goal: Tomorrow at 6am, I’m going to wake up and study for at least one hour. That’s a more reasonable goal. It helps you to study smarter, not harder.

6 . Work on one new habit at a time

While it’s great to want to immediately begin to study smarter, you need to dial it back. And I mean that in the most compassion way ever. Don’t get carried away with wanting to transform your entire life overnight. It isn’t sustainable.

Choose one good habit that you will start today. Here is an example: Tomorrow, the moment it hits 2pm, I’m going to sit down at my study table and do some studying. That’s a really good goal. It teaches you the importance of a routine, and it ensures that you will study every day and stick to your goals.

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missyaess · 1 year

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Until you get to know someone pt- 1.

Katsuki Bakugo x reader

tw: depression,anxiety and stress , maybe a little uncharacteristic for Bakugo? I’m not sure it’s my first fic :p

(Angst,frenemies to lovers)

As everyone gathered around Midoriya’s desk to talk about the exam you all just had,you were at your desk trying not to bawl your eyes out.You had always been a gifted child since elementary school -according to your parents- yet right now you were not living up to your potential -also according to them.-

It seemed like no matter what you did you were never good enough,like you used to be when you got into UA.Ever since the school year started you’d been having trouble sleeping,studying,eating,training and making friends.You didn’t imagine your years at UA would pass like this but here you were,another probably failed exam and no one to talk about your problems.

There were some people who tried to get close to you,like Mina and Uraraka but you never quite felt like you fit in with their groups.You didn’t feel enough and that made you uncomfortable.After a while you assumed they lost interest in you but they would still say good morning every day and talk to you during the day sometimes .You were really grateful for the little amount of human communication you were getting thanks to their kindness.No one was being mean or excluding you,it was just your own doubts and insecurities getting in your way.You knew that,yet it was harder to overcome your demons then simply just acknowledging them.

Yes, no one was bad.Except Katsuki Bakugo.You don’t know why but ever since you met him,he has been nothing but a pain in your ass.You would’ve expected him to pick on someone academically challenging to him,yet your grades were nowhere near his grades.You couldn’t fight back against him for too long either,so you had no idea why but he picked on you more than anyone else.You weren’t sure whether he was you as a friend or opponent or someone he hated.

A loud bang came from the door being pulled too harshly,and you didn’t need to look up to know who just came into the classroom.

He passed midoriya’s desk and stopped right in front of yours,your head buried in your arms as you were holding yourself back.

-So how was the exam for everyone?

You knew he was talking directly to you but ignored it.Everyone else answered him but his gaze was locked on you.After seeing you were ignoring him like you usually did,he kneeled next to your desk so he could see your face.

-Did ya not hear me?

-Now is not A good time, Kacchan.

You said in a mocking tone like you usually did while talking to him,without lifting your head up.

-I told you to stop calling me that!

-And I told you to stop bothering me!

He kicked your desk and you lifted your head at this.

-What the hell is your problem?Can’t you see I’m not willing to entertain you right now?Just give me a break!

He was taken aback by your response,which was unlike your usual snarky comeback.You noticed how everyone was looking at you by now and most of them had their eyes wide open at the scene in front of them.Everyone was used to your usual banter but they never saw you this angry.Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse,Bakugo came in the picture and ruined it further.You couldn’t deal with this right now.You got up and left the classroom as you felt the stare of a certain blonde behind your head.

You went into your dorm room and crashed into your bed.When you thought back to all your classmates witnessing you screaming like a toddler,even tho Bakugo deserved it, was embarrassing to think about.Today couldn’t get any worse.You dozed off into a much needed sleep.

After what felt like 15 minutes of sleep but was actually 2 hours as the clock showed, you heard a knock on your door.Grumpily,you got up and opened it.It was the last person you wanted to see right now.

-You look horrible.

As Bakugo said,you probably did look horrible with a drool on the side of your face and messed up hair.You decided to ignore his comment.

-What are you doing here?

Bakugo huffed and put his hands in his pockets.

-Look we were just talking in the common room with all the other dumbasses and…

As he took more time to gather his words you were becoming more and more impatient.He noticed this and stumbled on his words a little bit.This shocked you.

-L-Look what I’m trying to say is…I didn’t know you were going through a tough time and…I guess I shouldn’t have done that…

You were shocked,was Bakugo Katsuki,THE Bakugo Katsuki trying to apologize to you?You’ve never once seen him apologize, not even to his friends.

-Yeah,you shouldn’t have.

You crossed your arms on your chest.You couldn’t believe what was happening right now.You were going to enjoy every second of his torture.

-Well then maybe you shouldn’t have been such a-!

Bakugo stopped himself abruptly.Classic,you thought.Even as he was trying to apologize he still couldn’t hold his tongue back.

You didn’t feel angry or sad anymore,somehow a simple not-so apology from Bakugo made your day way better.Maybe because you knew how hard this must be for him.Maybe because you’ve never thought he looked cuter than he did right now.

-Thanks for trying to apologize,it means a lot.

You said truthfully and his eyes widened with surprise.You took a step closer to him and smiled.He was blushing,hard.

-Is this really so embarrassing for you?

You asked enjoying this new side of him.He got even redder at this and took a step back.

-Hah,you wish!I’ll see you tomorrow ya extra.

With that he hurried away,turning around to look if you were still looking once he took a couple steps and stuttering to himself when he saw you were.

You suddenly felt uplifted and better.Something felt like it changed today and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.But you knew you were looking forward to tomorrow.

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howaboutcastiel · 2 years

Text

That One Angsty Fic (Moon Boys)

Summary: It doesn’t always make sense, but some days are just bad ones. Sometimes you’re your own worst enemy, and it takes losing a battle with yourself to see that. Marc, Steven, and Jake are able to see it, even if you can’t at first.

Author’s Note: This fic was originally supposed to end differently. Writing it was therapeutic for me, and the ending was also supposed to be, but revelations in therapy and changes in medications have made things different. Just… it exists.

Content Warning: ⚠️ Mental illness, sensory overload, anxiety and panic attacks, self harm ideation, self harm (cutting), suicidal language/suggestiveness, kinda graphic depiction. Other stuff I don’t know how to tag, just generally take caution. Hopeful ending.

Word Count 7.3k

Sometimes rabbit holes are hard to climb out of.

Sitting at your desk alone, waiting for your boys to come home, it was easy to dig yourself deeper. The cars on the street below you were too loud. The overhead lights were too bright and the draft from the windows was far too strong. The inclination to sink into your own thoughts was hard to resist, especially since you didn’t realize you were doing it.

Today really fucking sucks. I feel like I can’t do anything. I can’t eat right, I can’t sleep right, and I certainly can’t do my schoolwork correctly. I’m overdue on returning a library book and I haven’t scheduled that very important meeting with my advising professor. Everything is working out and my life is going dandy right now, but holy fucking shit do I feel like a massive failure.

They always say to reach out for help. The professionals say “you have people who love you, they want you to come to them.” God if that isn’t further from the truth. Sure, my mom told me she was proud of me yesterday, even after I told her I can’t graduate with honors like I planned to do. Sure, my friends tell me all the time that I’m funny and smart, but they’re just being nice to me. They don’t like making fun of people. Maybe my grandma cried the other day over the phone because I’m the only grandchild who calls to ask how she’s doing, but I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do.

I’m the bare minimum. I feel like I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I’ll never live up to my potential or to the expectations of the people that I love.

I don’t even think that I’m enough for Steven anymore.

If I’m not enough for him, then I really have nothing at all, don’t I? There’s no question either, if I’m too much of a fuck up for him, I’m certainly not good enough for Marc or even Jake. Hell, the way I’m performing right now, Jake Lockley probably wouldn’t even give me the time of day.

Rabbit holes are hard to climb out of, especially when you’re alone.

There wasn’t anything in particular that made today worse than any of the others. By some metrics, in fact, it was a very good day. You had gotten an A on your midterm exam. You’d found a twenty-dollar bill inside of your coat pocket. Hell, someone had even left your favorite dessert in the break room, and you’d gotten to eat a serving of it between class and work. It should have been a good day, but it just wasn’t.

That’s the thing that people don’t understand about being ill. It’s just that: an illness. It doesn’t matter how much you eat healthy, or how much you exercise. It doesn’t matter how much meditation you do or how much you write in your diary or how much you pray to God—sometimes a day is just going to suck. It’s not rational, or even understandable, but that’s the truth of the matter. Sometimes sick people just… feel sick.

Steven understood that. So did Marc, and so did Jake. If there was anything in this world that they did understand, it’s that sometimes a person can be their own worst enemy. They understood that it wasn’t your fault, and they understood that some days were harder than others. The compassion that you couldn’t have for yourself? Well, they somehow always managed to have it.

You were convinced, though, that they wouldn’t have it today.

This has to be the final straw for them, doesn’t it? They’re going to come home and the dishes won’t be done, the laundry will still be dirty, and there won’t even be dinner on the table for them to eat. I’m going to have to tell them I don’t have a reason for it. I didn’t get it done only because I’m lazy and the lights were too bright. They’re going to laugh at me. They’re going to hate me.

Steven Grant is going to hate me.

I think maybe that’s what I deserve. He's so much more than me, isn’t he? They all are. They’ve been through so much, and yet they’re so strong and so wise. Steven is so kind. But look at me. I’m not… any of those things, am I? I’m all the wrong things. Too big, too awkward, too stupid. I’m not enough for him. I’m not enough for any of them, and I think maybe today they’re going to realize that. I don’t know if I can handle that.

It was half-past seven now. Steven would be coming home from his shift any moment. Or someone would. Whoever was fronting tonight didn’t really matter. It was all going to end the same way, you were convinced. You moved from the desk, tired of the weight on your back, and curled yourself up on the floor of the study. It wasn’t exactly a screaming and crying kind of panic, but it was still panic.

Why can’t I just do more? Why can’t I get up and get all of these chores done, right here and right now? Nothing’s stopping me. I know exactly what to do, I’ve done all of this a million times or more. It’s the easiest thing in the world to do. Why can’t I just get up and do it?

It wasn’t just that, though. How much easier it would have been if it was, but it wasn’t.

Why can’t I do anything right? I can’t even be sad right. Why can’t I cry? Maybe they would understand if I was crying. God, what if they yell at me? I don’t know what to do if they yell at me. Please don’t yell at me. Just get up and do the damn chores. Just do something. Do something.

They’re going to yell at me.

This is all so pathetic. I’m being dramatic, but I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m coming out of my skin. I feel like I’m ready to explode or implode or just wither away. I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I can’t stop it, though, and it makes me feel like I’m insane. I feel like I’m out of control. I want to feel in control. I want to be in control.

I want to be in control. How do I take back control?

You heard the familiar footsteps coming down the hall, instinctively curling in on yourself a little bit more. You had memorized the sound and usually it brought you a warm and welcoming feeling. Today, though, it only made your pounding heart sink deeper into your chest. You braced yourself resignedly for the yelling and anger, or at the very least for the disappointment. Honestly, you didn’t know which one of them was worse.

It was Marc Spector who walked through the front door of the apartment. Admittedly, you couldn’t tell that he was at the front just by his body language, but luckily the boys were used to announcing themselves as they came through the door. It made things easier, and they knew that it comforted you.

“Hey, baby,” he started, the keys clinking in his hands as the door latched shut behind him. He was the only one who called you that. “I didn’t mean to be so late, but we got distracted on the walk home. Why’re you sitting in the dark? Are you here?”

You didn’t have the energy to answer him. Well, you had the energy, but you didn’t have the confidence. That, and you couldn’t really find your voice under all of the panic. Your tongue was too heavy in your mouth, and you were nauseous. You feared if you opened your mouth, it wouldn’t be words that came spilling out. Marc ventured further inside and finally spotted you, hugging your knees in the space between the desk and the wardrobe. He tilted his head and widened his eyes in concern, and you could feel the heat on your face.

“You okay?” He furrowed his brows when you didn’t answer him. You could only look up at him, breathing slowly around the lump in your throat, and you wanted to bury your head right back into your knees when you saw the look on his face. Of course he was going to be concerned, and you were going to have to tell him he had no reason to be. It didn’t make sense for it to be so difficult, though. Why couldn’t you just make yourself speak up? It was the simplest thing.

“Did something happen?” His voice was low and little, and you managed to shake your head at his question. Some other feeling was fighting the paralysis now that he was here, but it wasn’t a good feeling. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes. “No? Well, are you hurt?”

Again, you shook your head. It was technically true, right? You weren’t hurt. You couldn’t really even pinpoint what was wrong with you. He pressed his lips into a thin line, surveying your body for any signs of damage. He found none, so Marc brought his hand up to touch your arm and you instinctively cowered away. You felt guilty as soon as you did it, but you couldn’t bear the thought of the pressure on your skin.

“I don’t know how to help, baby.”

That was what made the tears start to slowly stream. You didn’t feel the need to sob or choke, just to press your nose between your knees and hide your face from him as it contorted into a crying mess. For him to understand, you knew that you had to say something. It was just so hard to get anything out.

“I didn’t do the dishes,” you mumbled. Your admittance confused him and he moved to sit down across from you. You fought back a sob that tried to erupt from your throat. Hearing it out loud, you could understand how your words didn’t quite clear things up for him. “I didn’t do the laundry, either, and I haven’t made dinner.”

“Okay?” He almost laughed, but he could see anguish that you were in, so he stifled it. Marc waited for you to explain yourself further. It became clear you were having trouble with that, so he began to think meticulously through his answer.

“I’m sorry.” A sob broke around your words, but they were still unmistakable. His face twisted again into confusion and something that looked like offense. You hoped it wasn’t that.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked. That was a hard question for you to answer.

“I should have done it by now. I should have finished it all. You should be able to come home to a clean apartment and a warm meal, and I said that I would do it. I should have done it.”

The self-inflicted misogyny aside, he was shocked by your statement. Marc understood the mindset of having to please your housemates. When he was a child, skipping his chores meant more than just a few words of disappointment from his mom. But this wasn’t that. Marc had never, never yelled at you before, and he certainly didn’t expect you to do all of his housework for him. You were partners. You shared the responsibility.

“Honey, they’re just chores,” he tried to explain. He couldn’t imagine exactly where you were coming from, but he’d talked you down from enough panic attacks to at least know where he should start. “It’s okay. It’s not a big deal, and we can order take-out for dinner.”

You felt stupid. He wasn’t even mad, and you’d made such a big deal out of all of it. Of course he wasn’t going to yell at you. Marc would never yell at you. None of them would. You should feel relieved now, right? But you didn’t feel relieved. You just felt stupid.

“You with me?” He peered into your eyes with nothing but genuine softness. You couldn’t resist that look, not even in the state you were in. So, you pretended for him.

You nodded.

“Good. Come on, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.”

Marc took your hands into his and helped you to your feet. Your limbs were stiff from sitting like that, and your chest was heavy from all of the worry. He gently led you over to the couch, coaxing you to sit down and pulling a throw blanket from the shelf under the coffee table. You shuddered as he opened it and tossed it over you. He noticed that you were shaking.

“I’m gonna order dinner, okay? You need to eat something.” Marc moved to pull his phone out of his coat pocket. You didn’t really feel hungry, more nausea than anything filling your gut right now. “I think that you’ll feel better after that.”

You put on a brave, numb face for the rest of the evening. Well, for the next little while, at least. Marc ordered one of your favorite meals for dinner, making sure to buy so much that you would have leftovers. He wasn’t too great of a cook himself, so he was used to ordering out after a long or busy day. When the food finally came, you nibbled at it just enough to prove to him that you were trying. It tasted pretty good, but you couldn’t be sure you would keep it down, and the thought of swallowing just made you shudder some more.

After a while, Marc had decided that you looked calm enough. He let Steven take control of the body once he finished his meal, the tiring day having weighed on him, too. He made sure to warn his alter to keep tabs on you, noting how you seemed to be having a particularly rough day. Steven had no problem with that, as he was more than happy to give you his attention no matter the circumstances.

He didn’t exactly know what he was getting himself into.

When dinner was done and you’d convinced Steven that you really couldn’t eat any more, he packaged the rest of your food in heat-safe boxes. He also did the dishes, which he meant as a gesture of affection. Steven didn’t realize that his simple act of service would send you farther down the spiral.

Now you felt guilty. Not only had you failed to do the housework you’d promised you would, but now he was picking up your slack. To you, that was just unacceptable. I’m so much more trouble than I’m worth, you thought. Maybe they were just dishes, but they felt like so much more than that to you. They were a symbol of your failure, a symbol of all of the good things that he was and the bad things that you were, and why you could never be deserving of him.

The familiar urge started to bubble in your chest. You knew you should have said something the minute you felt it, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to, not in the middle of the spiral that you’d already begun. It always started as a spike of energy, an ironically paralyzing energy, and a buzzing in your skin. From there, it would grow and evolve and mutate into something else. It was an urge to self-destruct, to punish yourself and gain control. It didn’t make any sense, not in the slightest, and it surely didn’t make sense now, but such was the nature of being ill.

It didn’t have to make sense. It just had to be.

You felt the heat draining from your body as you watched him pass the plates from the sink to the drying rack. The shivering was only beginning, and you knew already that nothing would help you get warm. Not a blanket, not a hug, not a piping hot cup of tea. This was the kind of chill that ran further than skin-deep. The sensation grew outward from your chest. It made you want to press your palms into your eyes and scratch at your skin until it was raw. A lump was starting to thicken in your throat, your saliva becoming too thick to swallow.

I can’t believe I’m letting them baby me like this. I should be taking care of him, not the other way around. They must be so tired of coddling me like this. I wonder if they think I’m too sensitive. They must think that. I am too sensitive. It’s a matter of time before they get enough of it and kick me to the curb. It must be. I just wish I could stop. I have to stop.

Steven was turned away from you, intently focused on the task at hand. He didn’t notice how you had gone pale. He had a chore to complete. He wasn’t one to leave a dish half-washed, so he had to meticulously scrub each plate until he was sure it was clean.

He’s even better than me at this. What else do I have to offer him?

You pulled yourself up from your seat at the table, making sure to drag the legs of the chair against the wood just enough to alert him to the movement. You shuffled over to the couch as he finished up at the sink. When you clicked the power button on the TV remote, it flashed on to reveal some old sitcom you weren’t interested in seeing. It would look normal, though, when Steven dried his hands and emerged from the kitchen to join you. He would think that you were okay, and that was a good thing. You didn’t want him to think that you weren’t okay.

“Can I join?” Steven meekly asked as you scuffled to one side of the couch to make room for him. He was wearing a soft expression that made you feel like he saw you as fragile. He looked away from you as he sat down. “I think I might stay up a bit tonight. I want to read this new book I got about Neferefre.”

“What is that?” You prompted him, knowing you were opening the conversation to a classic Steven Grant infodump. If you looked interested and you got him to start talking, he wouldn’t even notice how much of a mess you’d been today—and how much of a mess you were now.

Steven began his little spiel. The man he spoke of was apparently one of the pharaohs of Egypt, a prince who ascended to the throne and died young. You watched his face light up as he told you about the man. It wasn’t uncommon of him to lose himself entirely in his little stories about ancient Egyptian history. He would speak for hours if you let him, which was a relief, because you certainly didn’t know how to fill any gaps of silence. Steven’s eyes widened and glistened as he went on, touting knowledge to you that would impress even the most prestigious academics of the subject.

His smile was such a pure and innocent thing. Steven was proud of himself, as he very well should have been, and he was happy that someone was here for him to share his knowledge with. It put into perspective for you just how much you didn’t compare. He was a living, breathing encyclopedia. A life-long researcher who would pour his heart and soul into the subjects he loved. In contrast, you were just going through the motions. You had reached your last semester of your undergrad, but you had no passion at all for your major anymore. Maybe you would get some fancy latin honor at your graduation, but you were by no means a good student, and you sure as hell weren’t an expert on the subject.

Why can’t I just stop myself from spiraling? Why can’t I just be someone that he deserves?

It was getting to the point where you were afraid that the feeling in your chest was going to start boiling over. Your skin was on fire and you were covered in a thin layer of icy sweat that did nothing to calm you. You wanted to curl into a ball and rip out your hair. You wanted to rock yourself back and forth with your head between your knees, and you wanted most of all to take yourself apart piece by delicate piece.

The urge was almost overwhelming. You had managed to hide this part of yourself from them for your entire relationship up to this point. Marc had his suspicions about your behavior in the past and Steven had noticed your sensitivity and lapses in communication, but neither of them had ever been there with you when you had an episode of self harm. You’d been in recovery when you first started dating them, and you’d only broken your clean streaks on occasions where they weren’t around. They didn’t really know what to look for and they didn’t know how close to the edge you really were.

You were very, very close to it.

Steven blinked at you confusedly. He’d asked you a question, apparently, and you’d failed to hear it over the pounding thud of your heartbeat inside of your ears. There was no denying that you’d spaced out while talking to him, no pretending your mind wasn’t clearly somewhere far away from here. He raised his eyebrows at you as you widen your gaze and pressed your lips together, pulling yourself back to him.

“Sorry, I just have had a long day, love,” you tried to deflect his unyielding inclination to peer into you. Steven Grant was a caregiver, an innate protector of those who were mentally vulnerable, and you certainly fit that category right now, but you would be damned if you let him baby you. Or, god forbid, worry about you. “I wanted to hear about your Pharoah guy, but I think I’m too tired to take it all in.”

You hoped he would ignore the fact that, despite your words, you seemed to be vibrating with nervous energy. The last thing you’d ever want to do was make Steven worry. You hoped to God that he couldn’t see the panic rising within you, stirring up the familiar frenzy in your limbs and enticing you to have a rendezvous with your razor in the bathroom.

He scooped you into his arms, pressing around you with a calming strength that almost touched the chill underneath your skin. Your body was half-limp as Steven encased you in a sturdy hug. He nuzzled his face into your neck and he breathed you in with an exhausted sigh.

“It’s alright. I’ll talk about him later.” Steven hummed into your skin, no doubt just as tired as Marc had been. “I’m sorry about your long day. It’s okay now, though. You can just relax with me.”

Guilty. Stupid.

“Okay. Thank you, baby.” You swallowed hard and dipped your head into his chest. Steven’s grip around you was strong, but casual. To him, as far as you could tell, you appeared to be doing just fine. A little tired, a little shaky, but overall just fine. That was a good thing, right? You were glad to not be worrying him. But some primal part of you was screaming to tell him you needed his help. You suppressed that part—it was bound to make things worse for you both.

There was silence for a little while. The television droned on, drawing small, breathy laughs from Steven and smiles from you in response to his laughs. The beating of his heart against your ear served to chip slowly away at your unease, dampening the pounding in your head. The pressure in your chest released bit by bit. The unspeakable urge fizzled out from your hands just a little. You finally were starting to feel like you could breathe normally, when a stray thought drew Steven away from the telly.

“When you did laundry today,” the words shot hot iron spikes through your ribcage. You froze in place, “did you happen to see my green button-up? The one with the stripes. I was going to wear it tomorrow to the museum holiday party, but I couldn’t find it when I looked this morning.”

How could you respond to him? You’d have to tell him it wouldn’t be clean in time for the party. You hadn’t washed it. You had not even touched the laundry today, in fact. You’d come home from work a few hours ago and plopped right down at your desk, wasting the evening away instead of doing the chores that you’d promised.

“I’m sorry,” you began. His lips turned downward into a puzzled grimace. “The laundry isn’t done. I don’t know if your shirt is in there, but if it is, it’s not clean. You won’t be able to wear it tomorrow.”

“Oh.” His face remained as puzzled as it was, now tinged with disappointment as well. You couldn’t live with his disapproval, no matter how much your body and mind seemed incapable of performing correctly.

“But I can go wash it right now! It will be ready by morning if I start a load—”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it, darling. It’s late, and it’s just a shirt. I can wear something else to the party. God knows Donna won’t appreciate the effort I put into my outfit anyway.” He bore an uneven smile and grazed the back of your neck with his hand, pushing your head back down to rest on his chest.

The coil around your heart re-tightened.

You laid in his arms as long as you could manage to sit still. Soon enough, the shaking of your bones and the pounding in your chest was so strong that it would be noticeable if you continued to sit in his grasp. So, with a shy cough and a fake, lopsided smile, you excused yourself to the bathroom.

Stupid.

Stupid. Stupid! Stupid! You couldn’t believe the way you were behaving. Why couldn’t you just be normal for one single day? Why did you have to worry your boys, why did you have to be so miserable, and why did your heart still threaten to beat right out of your chest even though Steven had held you in his arms and told you everything was okay? Stupid. So fucking stupid and pathetic and whiny and stupid.

You could feel the ice trickling down your spine, sinking into the curves of your ribs and clenching your muscles tense. The heat of your anger—at yourself and at the world, but mostly at yourself—did nothing to warm the deep chill in your bones.

Be fucking useful for once.

The sound of the electricity was too loud, the light coming under the door too bright. You banged your open palms against your head, curling them into fists and pounding harder when the noise only grew more irritating. Your breathing was rapid and empty, silent tears streamed down your face. Your knuckles drummed against your skull forcefully, over and over and over again, until the action was automatic and numb.

Stop being a burden. Stop being stupid. Steven has been through more shit than you ever will have gone through. You’re a useless fucking partner to him. Stop wasting space.

The dull knocking against your head wasn’t nearly enough. The seething inside your bones demanded something more. Something urgent and strong. You grew tired of the motion and lowered your hands, leaning into the dizzying soreness at the sides of your scalp. Your heart began to calm, unbeknownst to the agony in the rest of your body.

Stop wasting space.

You clutched the vanity. Your now-raw knuckles were white and the room was spinning. Maybe if you’d eaten more, you’d feel the need to throw up.

Stop taking up space.

The way that your hand rose to the medicine cabinet made you feel like an observer inside your own skin. For a passing, ever-so tiny moment, you wondered if this was what Jake felt. What Marc felt. Was this what Steven Grant felt when he wasn’t in control?

No, surely not. This was you taking control.

You weren’t one to show yourself mercy. Even in something like this, where mercy was a severely relative term. The thoughtful thing to have done would have been to grab your razor from the shelf, or taken one of Steven’s replacement razors from the pack beside the mouthwash. A sharp, unyielding weapon for a clean, quick punishment. You didn’t want to cut yourself open, though. That would be too generous, too easy.

You didn’t want something smooth, something to leave pretty and even stripes in delicate skin, like guiding lines on an empty notebook sheet. No, you didn’t want to cut yourself deep. This was visceral, personal. You wanted to rip yourself apart.

From the top shelf, you grabbed the old and rusty scissors that you had left in the bathroom for your spur-of-the-moment haircuts and for cutting tags off of new clothes. They were dull and awkward and hardly able to cut warm butter at this point, which is exactly what you were going for.

Stop. Being. Stupid.

You didn’t know if it made you feel better or made you feel worse, but it made you feel. Digging the blade into your skin, jabbing the open edge into your thigh after pulling parallel strokes on your forearms, it made you feel more in-control than you had all day. It was intoxicating. It was all-consuming. Before you knew it, you had fallen into a trance of sorts and the repetition was only halted by the realization that you had to breathe eventually.

A sharp breath in. Pain. A slow, shaky exhale. Stupid. A stifled cough, a desperate sucking in of air. Useless. A wheezing huff, like a deflating balloon.

Tired.

The blade slipped away from your hand and clattered unenthusiastically onto the floor. There wasn’t nearly as much blood as there could have been. Your teeth chattered, and now, despite having barely grazed dinner, you feared that you might up-chuck. A low groan tumbled out of your lungs as you crouched over the toilet bowl, thick red streams trickling down to the creases of your skin. You heaved once, then twice, then the vague remnants of your dinner were out of your stomach and the pressure against your chest forced a cry from your lips.

You sighed, flushed, and slumped into a weak puddle on the tile. There was a knock at the door.

“Darling?”

No. No. No no no nononono. What did I do? Your mind was racing and your heart had re-started its blunt assault on the inside of your ribs, but your limbs were like jello. Your tongue was like sand. He can’t see me like this!

“You sound like you’re sick. Was it the dinner, love? Let me hold your hair back, at least.”

He can’t see me like this. I can’t do that to him. But you couldn’t move, either. You could barely keep your eyes open. You tried to yell at him to go away, but your lungs were too heavy to muster more than a hoarse whisper. That was if you could even get your lips to part.

Guilty.

You could hear Steven’s breath rattle on the other side of the door. “You’re worrying me. I’m going to open the door now, yeah? Don’t mean to pry, of course, but sure as I don’t, you’ll have hit your head on the sink or something and be out cold—”

He’d turned the knob on the bathroom door—the stupid old thing never did lock correctly, you’d been meaning to get that fixed—and pushed his way inside, only to stop dead in his tracks the moment he saw you.

Your pale and shaking hands clenched your knees, blood lazily tricking into your elbow’s crease and tapping the floor in a steady drip. It wasn’t nearly an amount of blood loss to be worried about, but that didn’t matter to him. There was blood dripping onto the floor, and it was coming from you. Steven’s color drained from his face as he watched the forming puddle for a moment. He didn’t move, his eyes wide and his mouth agape, and his hand still lingering on the doorknob. After a few seconds, he gathered a shaky breath and broke his gaze away.

“What happened?”

His voice was whining, panicky. You could see sweat beading on his forehead as he knelt across from you. He trailed his hand up your arm, looking for the incisions that were causing the flow. His fingers were careful not to touch the long, parallel slits that ran up toward your wrists. You heard a breathless whimper leave his lips as he pulled your arms up, revealing the jagged, shallow puncture wounds in your thighs that looked just as bad.

“Darling, what happened?” He was more urgent now, his voice louder and demanding. “Are you hearing me?”

He grabbed the nearest towel from the shelf under the sink, wrapping it around the wrist closest to him and pressing the other one underneath. Steven’s breathing was shallow and his eyes danced rapidly between your forearms, your thighs, and your face. Try as you might, you couldn’t keep your eyes focused on him. It was all that you could do to keep them open at all. He continued pleading with you, but his voice was distant in your head.

Tired.

“What have you done?” You didn’t know if his intention was for you to answer. “Why did you—what did you do to yourself? I don’t understand. I don’t… I don’t…”

His breath was quickening. You tried to pull your head together, to ignore the pounding in your skull and force your eyes to work. Weakly, you wiggled your fingers. If they could move, perhaps the rest of you could as well. Your tongue was as heavy as lead in your mouth, but you forced it up anyway. The wheezing breath you drew caught his attention immediately.

“I’m sorry.” The tears that had welled in his eyes began spilling over, painting his cheeks as he tried desperately to blink them out of the way. Steven wrung a towel under the sink as you drew another gasp. “You weren’t supposed to see.”

“Why?” He scoffed and you shook your head. The dull thump in your head was winning out. Words were failing you. Apparently they were failing him to, as he couldn’t muster much more than “I don’t understand.”

You had done this enough to know it would take a few minutes for the bleeding to stop. Nothing was deep enough for stitches, though the divots on your legs would threaten to scar for sure. Steven grew more distressed, though, as the seconds ticked forward and the wounds refused to wipe clean. Firm and steady pressure seemed to be too slow a solution and panic was painted plainly on his face.

You felt the need to explain to him. You had to make him understand.

“I had to do it.” He held his breath as you began to speak. Steven looked terrified. “I deserve this. It feels… right. I had to. I had to.”

“No, you didn’t,” he insisted. “You don’t deserve this. Why would you deserve this? Is it because of the laundry? You can’t have done this because of a load of clothes…”

“Not the laundry,” You breathed, interjecting. “It’s everything. I’m not good enough. I can’t do anything right. I’m a waste of space. I have to stop taking up space. Your space.”

“You're not.” He uttered immediately. Steven seemed to be choking on his next words. He stared at the blood soaking through your bandages. “You’re not… you’re…”

He pressed his eyes shut and your voice was loud in your head as you let your own heavy eyelids flutter closed. He’s finally getting it, isn’t he? I’m no good for him. This is the final straw.

More trouble than I’m worth.

Stop wasting space.

You resigned yourself to the damage you’d done to him. The three of them were better off without you here. You’d leave them alone now. They’d kick you out and you’d move back in with your mother. At least she was used to being disappointed by you. You could handle her disdain, but not theirs.

So fucking tired.

“You’re not a waste of space.” His voice broke you away from the deep crevice in your mind that you’d sank into. “Mi Tesoro, how could you ever think that about yourself? You are plenty good enough.”

Jake unwrapped the wounds that Steven had dressed so haphazardly. If medical training was a contest between the three of them, Steven was certainly in line for the bronze, while Jake could perform surgery with kitchen utensils if prompted to. They had finally stopped bleeding, but the cuts needed a layer of antibiotics if they had any chance of healing right. Especially considering the rust on that gross pair of scissors.

“I scared him.” You didn’t need to elaborate. The absolute mess that you’d made of yourself had thrown Steven into a panic, sending him so far back in the headspace that Jake Lockley was forced to come out to take the reins.

“Yes, you did. But he’ll be alright.” Jake’s voice was steady and smooth, and he was finished with your bandages before you even realized it. “You’ll be alright, too. Just try not to mess with these.”

“You’re never going to look at me the same. Any of you.”

“Maybe that’s true,” he admitted, “but that doesn’t matter. You can’t scare us away that easily.”

He lifted you by your shoulders, helping you stand against the bathroom wall. The floor was riddled with blood and towels and bandages, and your shirt and pants were far from clean. Jake was careful not to put pressure on your wounds as he supported your weight. You started toward the living room.

“I would guess that you’ve done this before.” He guided you step by step to the couch. You say gently against the cushion, curling back into a ball as your eyelids gave up altogether on staying open. “But not since I’ve met you. Why did you start this again tonight?”

“I deserved it,” you repeated. There was no other way to explain it, or rather, no explanation you had the energy for. “I needed it.”

“We’re going to talk about this later.” He knew that you didn’t have the energy for a conversation right now. That didn’t mean that he’d save his ultimatum, though. Just because you couldn’t talk didn’t mean he couldn’t. He placed a blanket over you, leaving for a few moments to grab some water and painkillers. Plus, a package of crackers that he would force you to nibble on later.

“You didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it. There’s nothing you could ever do to make you worthy of something like that. I can’t speak for the other two, but I’ve never met someone so loving, so wonderful. Eres la mejor persona que he conocido. There’s nothing you’d ever do to make you deserve that.”

Silent tears slipped down your face as he continued, and his voice wavered as he spoke. You assumed, though your eyes wouldn’t open, that we was fighting tears as well.

“You really scared us, but we’re not angry at you. We’re not scared of you. We just can’t bear to see you hurt yourself. You know that you can’t be in pain without us hurting, too. We’re scared because we don’t know how to help. You have to tell us what’s wrong, so we can make sure you don’t hurt anymore.”

“But I need to.” I need to hurt. How else am I going to stay in control?

“No, chica, you don’t.” The cushion shifted underneath you, indicating that he’d sat down beside you. “You need help. Not this. Nothing good comes from this. We don’t want to see you like this. Not ever again.”

How else am I supposed to stay in control?

“Please promise me you’ll talk to me about this, alright? I want to hear all of it. I want to know why this is happening.”

“I don’t want to bother you.” Sleep was weighing on you by now. Thoughts drifted out of your lips without restraint, but they threatened to cease altogether as your limbs grew heavy.

“You won’t bother me. This bothers me. Nothing that you could say would bother me. I want to hear about everything. Every thought that leads to this, you say it to me first.”

There was a pause that almost let you drift off completely.

“That goes for the others as well. We all want you to talk to us. No matter when, no matter where. Okay?”

I can’t put this burden on them—

“Promise me!”

You pried your eyes open one last time. Jake’s gaze was pleading and tears were streaming down his face. He looked plenty burdened already. He was right. Nothing could be worse than this. You couldn’t ever hurt them more than this. And now that the urge had come and passed, the dull ache in your arms and the stinging in your thighs was a sore reminder of how little it was worth it. Not to mention the pain in your head.

“I promise.”

Sometimes, when you say something out loud, you realize how ridiculous it sounds. It helps to keep you in check, and it keeps you from being your own worst enemy. If nothing else, it gives you perspective and keeps you from forgetting your voice. And before you ask, no. I’m not okay, but I am in therapy and on medication. Take it or leave it.

p.s. I started this fic obviously in a bad mood, and then I wrote most of it when I was no longer in a bad mood. For that reason, it may be gibberish. Don’t think of the reader as yourself. That’s probably unhealthy. Thank you to my beta readers, @moonmoonboys and @rmoonstoner

#moon knight #moon boys #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #moon knight angst #angst #masterlist

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axailslink · 2 years

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Baby Take A Break

Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Summary: you have been studying really hard this past week for an upcoming exam and Riri tries her best to help.

The rattling of your fan is the only thing keeping you awake right now as the words on your laptop screen become jumbled scribbles. Riri who has been watching you for the past hour finally gives in and walks to your bed and closes your lap top "you're tired let's take a break maybe go get something to eat?" You roll on your side letting your pajama shorts ride up as your gaze meets hers "or we could stay in and cook some ramen you know broke college kid shit" you smile at her and pull her to you by her shirt "I really need some help on this assignment we can wait another hour to eat just help me please before my fucking brain blows up" she climbs on your bed and sits next to you opening the laptop back up as it loads back on she watches you as you stretch your arms up causing your cropped tank to rise just above the bottom of your breast.

C'mon Riri this is not the time but she really looks so good when she's all tired and stressed the way her brows furrow and her nose scrunches up it's kind of cute it's always been cute it's tempting too. You've been sitting staring at the laptop screen for who knows how long. You turn your attention towards Riri she's just staring at you all heart eyed "Riri you said you'd help me the laptops been on for two minutes" you groan patting her arm she nods and slowly takes her gaze off of you returning to the laptop but not before she takes a quick screenshot in her mind. "Okay so it looks like we've got...oh you gone fail" you look at her with all seriousness in your face not in the mood for her jokes you push her into the wall "bruh if you not gone help gone on somewhere! I'm stressing and you sitting here playing I'm not playing Ri I seriously don't know what to fucking do I'm on the verge of tears at this point this shits annoying."

Riri immediately softens her facial expression and pull you into her "no don't say that I'm sorry I was just fucking around I'll help for real but for real you shouldn't constantly stress about this it'll only make it harder to make sense of it. So let's take a break I have the perfect idea." Riri jumps from her bed and runs back to her own "dollar ice creams right now I know you might not feel like it but you'd never turn down free ice cream would you?" You smile at her but look back at the laptop contemplating your choices "ahtah stop no don't worry about that you have a week until that test comes-" she grabs your hand and gently tugs on it "so right now let's go get you that ice cream you so lovingly deserve c'mon what do you say? I'm buying" she reminds you and you nod "okay we can get ice cream but afterwards you seriously have to help me" Riri laughs "I am helping by distracting you then we gone work then afterwards we gone have some us time" you look at her and laugh taking in all of her goofiness.

"Us time?" She nods "you keep tryna speak that into existence?" You ask pulling yourself out of bed and wrapping your arms around her waist she nods "yes we deserve it just some time between me and you and no assignments for at least an hour baby that's a dream."

You nod and look down at her "other than that break want to know what else I'm craving?" Riri cocks her head "don't say it because if you do we ain't gonna go get no ice cream I'll be craving a different type of ice cream." you roll your eyes "you are so childish that is so damn childish" Riri shrugs and pull you into a kiss "you knew this already I think I'm the funniest person in the world those are your words by the way."

#riri williams black panther #riri williams x reader #riri williams #riri x reader #riri x fem reader #black panther fics #black panther wakanda forever #black panther imagine #black panther x reader #black panther #riri is my gf #WHERE ARE THE RIRI FICS #riri imagine #wakanda forever #black reader #wlw fics #shuri x reader

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aurumbelis · 2 years

Text

𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐚.

Pairing: Robin Buckley and Fem! Reader.

Word Count: 2.1 k

Warning: Afab! Reader, soft dom! Robin, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, squirting, pet names (babe, baby), aftercare, reader and Robin are mentioned to be in an established relationship.

A/n: my first fic for baby Robin <3. I hope you enjoy it!

Second-semester exams were going to be the death of you. Studying from sunrise to sunset, no time for yourself, just for eating, studying and a few bathroom breaks, and all to be able to spend a nice and relaxed summer with your friends and Robin.

Robin, your girlfriend, who came almost every day after the end of her shift at Family Video, because she genuinely cared about your well-being when you were being dismissive about it. She was the one to tell you to go to sleep just before she left your house, just so you could get some decent rest. She also reminded you to eat, calling your house every time a meal approached, making sure not to hang up before you had your first bite of whatever you were having.

It was because of her that you had only lost your mind a little, because when she came by your place at six sharp, she tried to distract you a bit from the scattered mess that was your desk, trying to get you out of your chair to your bed to smother you with hugs, kisses, and caresses, as well with little to no talk as she knew your brain was not anywhere but in the theory written in your notebooks. She was laying in your bed comfortably, looking up to your ceiling, a bit lost in her world as she usually was when she wanted to let you study. Suddenly a smile crept up her face as if she had an idea. With the new idea in mind, she quietly made her way to you, just to be behind you, arms slowly resting on your shoulders. With her touch you jumped up; you didn’t hear her moving, and you didn’t expect her hands to be there. They crept down as her head finally rested on your shoulder, lips close to your ear.

-Rob, gimme a bit more, let me finish these two pages. I’ll be there with you, okay? - you looked at her, your eyes a bit tired and red from looking at the small writing in the textbook.

She simply nodded her head, leaving you be for those pages, she did not want to stress you more, she knew how you were, and if she stopped you with you not finishing those pages, that’s the only thing you would be thinking about instead of relaxing your mind. That is exactly what her new idea consisted of, taking your mind off of studying, and fuzzing your thoughts for just a little while.

-Okay, I’m done. God I’m so tired. - You said leaving the pen that you had been chewing on, on the desk. You went to lay down on the bed, but Robin stopped you before you were even close to the bed, with a finger in a “stop” intention.

-Y/n baby, why don’t you stop for a little while? It has been an hour already of non-stop studying, wanna take a break with me? -her quiet, raspy voice indulged your senses as her warm and soft presence made you want to be cuddled up to her and not have to do any more studying.

-Sit down on the edge, please? Betcha, I can take that tiredness out of you, babe.

You did with a confused look on your face, and she came up to your face, lowering herself down as she started to give you soft small pecks on the lips, which as you were now in a laying down position, came to be a passionate making out situation. Her hands on both sides of your face, holding her up, your hands one in her jaw, caressing it softly, and one tangling in with her hair. Her knees bent on both sides of your legs, holding you down, making the situation even worse for the tingling sensation that you were now feeling down your legs.

She bit your lip, and the surprise of it made you tug on her hair a bit harder than you intended to, earning a small and low groan from her lips. She detached herself from your face, looking down at you with half-closed eyes and a soft smirk on her soft lips.

-You want me to keep going? - she looked down at your body and then back at your eyes, as if to signal what she was referring to.

-Yes, please. -Your voice came out in a barely perceptible tone, so you nodded to convey the message better.

She lowered herself again, ghosting your lips with a small warm breath, kissing the corner of your mouth, your cheek; she traced your jaw with wet open-mouthed kisses, doing the same to your neck, putting more attention right by your earlobe, and then down by where your neck meets your collarbone. Your hands moved to her hips, playing with the hem of her pants, while hers were going under your top and up your torso to fondle your boobs in that slow and teasing manner of hers, just wanting to see what your reaction was, in this case, your hands moved to unbutton her pants, as she noticed she pinched your nipples slightly, to stop your actions.

-I want you to relax, okay? This time is to take your mind off of things, not mine. - quietly, she pressed a small kiss to your lips and smoothed the pads of her thumbs over your nipples, to make up for her rough actions from before.

She resumed her actions from before, not wanting to lose anytime, doing it all over again, lowering her head over your torso; pressing wet and open-mouth kisses all over your chest, of course, giving the most attention to your breasts, biting and kissing, trying to get those pretty sounds out of you.

Getting you worked up without touching your pussy was something Robin was enormously proud of, your breathing already rapid and heavy, with her hands tracing from your waist to your hips. Slightly lowering your pants without taking your panties with them. Once they were off, her head was also lower on you, as she was now on her knees and in front of your very un-sexy white panties.

-You knew what was gonna happen, putting the grandma panties on, huh? - She mocked you, and at first you laughed at her.

-Robs, not funny, if I knew you know, I would’ve worn something. Better. -you stopped before the better as she started circling your clit over your panties.

-I know baby, but you still look as sexy as ever, no worries. Enjoy now for me, okay?

You could only nod and hum at her words, her motions already becoming unbearable. What she did to you, she always did perfectly. Now, she was making the wet patch in your panties grow considerably. She got her face a lot closer now, licking your inner thighs and kissing them, as if to show what was about to happen. She hooked her fingers under the band of your underwear and took it off slowly out of your legs. Close once more to you, fingers going up and down on you, and then inside, which made you moan loudly.

-Hey, baby, I need you to be quiet, okay? This is supposed to be relaxing, no need to get loud. -her tone was sweet as always, and it also had a tinge of fun in it, because that is what she was having with you, fun.

You bit your lips softly at first, but the pressure increased as she added the second finger, and the third. She always wanted to experiment with you, and to make you feel as amazing as possible; she always went to unimaginable extents for that. Your eyelids were fluttering in pleasure, feeling that pressure build up quicker than expected. Her other hand approached you and two of her fingers pressed over your clit, starting the pleasurable circling motions, making your back arch, and letting go of all of the pressure from before. Robin noticed what was about to happen; your walls clenching on her fingers made it more difficult for her to work, but she kept on going; in fact, she didn’t plan to stop.

You let out the most hushed moan as you could, letting go of everything, including yourself. Robin let out some of her “that’s my girl,” “hope you enjoyed that one,” “you’re the hottest girl” as she slowed down her fingers. but she did not stop, your body enjoying how much she was taking care of you, until she sped up again.

-Ready for the next one babe?

-What? - it came out as a whispered scream, as you were losing yourself again to her touch.

- Didn’t you want me to help you relax? Well, this is my way of helping you let all your stress go.

With that, she took her fingers out of you all at once, replacing them with a flat tongue lick over your pussy. She went on and inserted her tongue into you, taking your wetness and tasting you. Then she moved up to your clit and before she latched her mouth onto it, she said:

-Will I be able to make you cum from just my mouth? -she said as she gave your clit a small lick that made you gasp and shiver. -I think I will, yeah. -It was a conversation with herself, because as much as you wanted to reply, you knew that if you tried only a loud moan would come from your throat, as it was the only thing threatening to exit from it.

She sucked your clit with a hunger and an eagerness that could only be hers, wanting to make you feel amazing; it's her only wish, is what she said when you asked her weeks ago, and God did she want to fulfill her wish every damn time. From the stimulation from before you were so close to orgasm yet again, fuck, she was good at everything that she put her mind to.

Your back arched, pushing your pussy further into her face as you came, and she detached herself from your clit, going over your pussy with her tongue, tasting the new juices that came out of you.

Once again, she changed how she did things, giving you the best of both worlds as she put her fingers in you and she slowly circled her tongue over your clit, making you let out small whimpers as a response to her actions.

- What are those whimpers for baby? Again, I’m just helping you relax. -she was so calm herself, in a peaceful state of bliss as she made you almost cry from whatever she did to you.

She lapped over your clit, fingers going faster getting out that gushing sound that made you slightly embarrassed but that you knew that Robin loved, because it meant that your body was reacting in a very positive way to what she was doing, to her fingers and mouth to your count, to those fingers and those lips that made you teeter over the edge once more, legs shaking and breath so agitated that your throat made frantic little sounds that accompanied it.

When you couldn’t take it no more, the pressure that you had at the beginning multiplied by thousands, you felt the urge to just let yourself go with all the strength left in your body, and that strength fell down Robin’s arm, drenched in you, her mouth separated from you as soon as she felt it, making a very happy “o” shape with her lips. -Fucking goodness babe. -the side of the mattress to which your legs fell was completely drenched in you, and did Robin find it incredibly hot.

She took her fingers out of you slowly, a small amount of wetness spilling out when she did. Then she walked up to the side of the bed where your nightstand was, opening the drawer to take a clean pair of panties, going again to the end of the bed to put them on you so that you would feel comfortable after all. She then went to lay down next to you, your chest still heaving, eyes watery from having to shut yourself up when she did all of that to you. She cleaned her arm ungraciously on the sheets, as you would have to change them tonight before you went to sleep; actually you wouldn’t, she would do it because “It was her fault you did that.”

With your eyes closed you cuddled up into her arms intertwining your legs with hers, as she massaged your right temple with her thumb, relaxing the flexed muscles in your forehead. Your breathing slowed down by the second, as she pressed kisses to the top of your head.

#robin buckley #robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley x fem!reader smut #smut fanfiction #smut #open requests #asks open #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things smut #stranger things #robin stranger things #maya hawke #fluff #robin buckley smut #robin buckley wlw #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley x you

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rogerswifesblog-updates · 1 year

Text

- chapter 3 -

Series Masterlist

Previous chapter

Masterlist

A/N: Hi!! Here’s the next chapter! I really hope you’ll like it:) ill probably be busy for the next few weeks because of my upcoming exams 😩 but thankfully the next chapter is also ready to post!

Pairing: student!Steve Rogers x Tutor!reader

Warnings: mentioned divorce between Steve’s parents, not Joseph Rogers friendly he’s a dick in this one, mentioned previous Rumlow x Reader, alcohol

For the next few days Steve couldn’t stop thinking about what happened between you two. You put your beautiful lips on him and it made him crazy. Since then he couldn’t stop thinking or talking about it. So once again Bucky was listening to his rambling. “Have you texted her after that?”, Bucky asked, sipping at his coffee, watching as Steve nodded and sighed. “Yeah, I did. Yesterday, and she said we should forget about what happened-or at least not talk about it. And that it won’t happen again”, Steve looked down at his phone, feeling how his chest tightened for a moment.

He still didn’t know why you did it, but he definitely enjoyed it. It just confused him. A lot.

“Steve maybe…maybe you should try to move on?”, Bucky said softer than usual and Steve definitely felt his throat tighten. He didn’t want to let go. At least just for the next few weeks. If you still wouldn’t want him after his birthday, then he’d stop pinning after you. Only a few weeks and then he’ll hopefully be your boyfriend. “Let’s go, break ends in a few minutes and we shouldn’t be late for biology”, he said, pulling Bucky with him.

After school he drove home, also dropping Bucky off since they lived only a few minutes from each other. “Hi mom”, he greeted his mom in the kitchen, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled softly at her son, always greeting her the same way. It was really sweet. She was incredibly happy to have a son like him. “How was school?”, it’s the usual question, followed by the usual answer about how boring it was.

He helped her prepare something to eat, before sitting together down at the table. Just the two of them, but it was better that day after the messy divorce his parents had. “What do you want to do for your birthday? It’s only two weeks”, Steve didn’t need to think about it too long, already planning something. “I’d like dinner-just you, me and…Y/N”, he said smiling, his cheeks blushing slightly. “Isn’t this your tutor your father found for you?” Steve nodded, swallowing hard, knowing this could be a slightly uncomfortable conversation.

“Yes, Dad asked to help me a few months ago. She’s really good at explaining but she’s also a great friend. I really like her-maybe we could invite her, you could meet her-”, he started rambling, as he felt blush creeping onto his cheeks, painting him scarlet. “Not that we’re a couple or anything-it’s just that-“ “you like that girl?”, his mother asked.

He didn’t know it was possible to blush even harder, but he managed.

“She-she’s very nice. And really pretty…and also really smart-like, really smart. I think she’s doing her master's in mathematics? Or-or, well at least something with math”, while he explained, Sarah put her fork down and leaned a bit back in her seat. “How old is she? You didn't mention that she’s in college before…and master, then she’s probably around 23?” His moms guessing made him wince slightly, since she didn’t sound very pleased with that. “She’s…25, turning 26 this year-but age isn’t the point-“ “Steve she’s 8 years older, how does that not matter? You know I want you to be happy, but why would you choose a woman that’s nearly a decade older than you? Are you sure she’s having good intentions-“ “Mom, we’re really not together. She said the same thing-that she’s too old”

His mother nodded, picking up her fork again and continued eating for a moment. “If you want to invite her I don’t mind, but I think your father will want to join us, so you should also tell him she’d be here”, Steve nodded at Sarah’s words, his lips twitching to a smile.

A few days later he was once again at his fathers place, waiting in his room till you arrived. “Hello Steve”, you greet him entering the room. Smiling Steve stepped closer to you, pulling you in a hug. It surprised you pretty much, but your arms wrapped around him automatically and you could feel how he put more weight on you. “Where did this come from, Steve?” You laughed against his chest, brushing your hands over his back. He sighed into your hair.

Slowly he let go of you, looking down at you with an uneasy expression. “Is it about last week? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what came over me”, you said quietly, but Steve shook his head, even though it definitely was about last week. “It’s not like I mind-definitely enjoyed it, you know?”, he grinned, while his face turned the usual rosy shade. Somehow even you couldn’t stop yourself from grinning. This boy was creeping into your heart and you couldn’t even stop him from doing so.

He took a deep and nervous breath.

“I’d like to invite you to dinner-not a date but a dinner with my parents, on my birthday. It’s in two weeks. I’m turning eighteen”, Steve took one of your hands in his, slowly interlocking his fingers with yours, your gaze immediately dropping to your hands. He was hopeful, his voice slightly trembling nervously even though he tried to hide it.

For a moment fell silent between you, while you let go of his hand, making him visibly gulp. “It’s your birthday, of course I’ll come. As your friend.” You didn’t know who you had to remind more about the actual relationship that was between you two. Just friendship. Nothing more. It couldn’t be more. “And now come on, we still have some work to do.”

You noticed how he sat much closer to you, his knee always bumping into your leg, hands curiously and unsure resting on your thighs. The worst part about it is how much you enjoyed it. The gentle touches, the soft smiles…

You were really falling for him, huh?

“You’re much better, Steve. I’m really proud of you for how far you came”, you said, noticing he hadn’t had a single mistake in his last calculations. A quiet and happy giggle escaped Steve's lips. A giggle. This boy really made it hard for you not to fall any more for him. With this sun kissed cheeks and sparkling eyes. He was truly a beauty.

Fuck, stop thinking about him like that.

Packing up your stuff you felt his gaze on you, which was something that happened quite often. He was always looking at you, not saying anything, just looking. And if you had to be honest you liked it. It made you feel pretty and even a bit flustered. You can’t remember when you felt flustered because of a man.

“See you next week, Stevie”, with that you looked over your shoulder one last time, before leaving and going straight to your place. On the way you called Natasha, asking her if she could come over in the evening.

After buying some tequila, juice and snacks you made your way home and Nat came by only an hour later, not giving you much time to do anything besides taking a quick shower. She let herself in, with a key you still didn't know where she had it from, but got used to it pretty quickly. At least you didn’t have to interrupt preparing the tequila-sunrises, something you two always loved drinking. But also telling her something was wrong.

“So what’s up? What happened that you needed to buy the bigger bottle”, Natasha grabbed the tequila bottle and looked back at you. You were probably blushing the same deep red as Steve always did. “I’m just so stupid, Natasha. Always getting myself into…. something…always some kind of trouble. I really don’t know what-“ “Is it still about Steve?” “I think I’m in love with him”, you didn’t even mean to say it. It just slipped.

Even Natasha didn’t know what to say-and she always knew what to say. She was never speechless.

You grabbed the drinks you just made, walking to the couch. “He invited me to his birthday tho”, you tried to say something, probably making it even worse. Natasha followed you, drinking a big sip after sitting down with you. You waited for any kind of answer, your chest feeling tight and uncomfortable.

“You deserve some love, you know? He may be a bit younger, but this shouldn’t affect your relationship too much. Especially not after his birthday”, she tried reassuring you, gently bumping her elbow into your side. It even made you laugh quietly, since you were ticklish and sensitive there.

You sipped at your drink, before finally looking back to Natasha. “I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship, Nat….”, you whispered, feeling your eyes burn just by the thought about your last boyfriend, fiancé even. Natasha recognised the pain in your eyes, having cheered you up after the awful breakup.

She put her arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. “Rumlow was a dick and everything he did wasn’t your fault. You deserve someone…good. From what you told me Steve is good. He’s a good and sweet guy”, she stroked over your hair, making you sign into her shoulder. “But he’s inexp-“ “you’ll get there. Just teach him and talk to him about everything. You two just need to talk.”

The rest of the evening was spent watching your comfort movies and drinking, leaving you with an awful hangover in the morning, while Natasha prepared breakfast for you, not even having a little headache.

The next two weeks passed quickly. The day of Steve’s birthday dinner came and you looked at yourself in the mirror a last time. You looked good. Since it was his birthday you decided to dress up, put on some makeup and also some pretty heels. It’s not like you needed to impress him but…but you still wanted him to like you. Smoothing down the last crease in your dress you put on your jacket and left your apartment. You decided to take the subway, since he lived only a few stations away.

You felt nervous, knowing you’d met his mother in a few minutes. Thankfully you knew his dad, since he was your boss, but it still didn’t make you any less anxious.

What if they don't like you? What if you’d do something stupid? What if you trip over their carpet and totally embarrass yourself? Maybe they don’t have a carpet.

You shook your head over yourself, knowing exactly your overthinking wouldn’t help you in any way.

Talking up the porch, you felt your hands starting to sweat, the gift you were holding nearly slipping out of your hands. After you rang the doorbell it took Steve less than a minute before he opened the door. Your breath hitched seeing him.

He was…also dressed up. Normally you saw him on the weekends, sleepy, in hoodies and with messy hair but today he was completely different. He wore a black button down, the first two buttons leaving open. His hair was neatly slicked back and it seemed like he was wearing dress pants, perfectly ironed. He looked so much older like that. So much closer to your age than his.

For a moment you looked at each other silently, before someone else appeared behind him. A blond woman, with identical features to his own, just more feminine. His mother. You felt yourself blushing, finally remembering to move and pulling Steve in a hug. “Happy birthday Stevie, thank you for inviting me”, you whispered in his ear, before kissing his cheeks gently. When you tried to pull away from him, he just grabbed you a bit tighter, burying his nose against your throat. Wow, you smelled so sweet. So so good. He could get drunk on you.

Over his shoulder you could see his mother smiling at you, making you smile back at her. She seemed friendly, even though you could recognise the overprotective mother gaze, watching you like a hawk.

Finally Steve let go of you and you gave him your gift. “I noticed you’re always doodling and sketching on your notebooks and homework so…yeah, I hope you like it”, you said shyly. You’ve never liked giving gifts, never being sure about what would make someone happy, but you hoped Steve would-

“Oh wow, but thats-this was expensive. I know it was, don’t even deny it”, he mumbled, taking out the sketchbook and a pencil case. They definitely were expensive, but you knew these were good to sketch. The price didn’t matter seeing how bright his smile was, when he opened the first page where you had drawn something yourself. Just a cake with eighteen candles and a big ‘happy birthday’ over it. It wasn’t as good as Steve’s drawing, but not bad. Thankfully sketching was also one of your small hobbies.

Once again Steve pulled you against his chest, holding you tightly. “Thank you, I love it”, he mumbled, before slowly letting you go. You felt blood rush to your cheeks, while looking back at his mother and stepping closer to her. “I’m Y/N, pleasure to meet you”, while you held out your hand for her to shake, you noticed how much you were shaking.

The woman smiled at you, taking your hand and pulling you in a quick hug. “You can call me Sarah, it’s nice to meet you. Steve told me a lot about you.” And even though you couldn’t see Steve you knew he was giving his mom a look and probably turning crimson.

“I brought yhm-a wine, I hope that’s okay, I just didn’t want to come empty handed”, you said, giving it to Sarah, which surprised her. But you could tell it was in a good way.

Okay, good…It looked like she liked you. At least a bit.

After that you sat down at the table, but there was still one plate and you assumed it was for Steve’s father. This only made you even more nervous. You had no idea how it would be to spend a dinner with your boss, being here as Steve’s…what? friend? Technically but…it wasn't really just that, was it? You felt like it was more, especially when he gently put his hand on your thigh feeling it shaking all the time.

“So tell me, you’re in college right?”, Sarah asked, starting a conversation. “Yes, I am. It’s my last year but I’m not sure what I’ll do after-at first I thought about teaching but I’m not sure about that anymore-”, you didn’t even think about how your words sounded, but the looks the Rogers gave you, made you think about your words choice. Have you accidentally said something different? “Was I really this bad of a student for you to change career paths?”, asked the birthday boy, making you finally understand.

A quiet laugh escaped your lips. “Oh I’m so sorry, Steve, no of course not. You were amazing-there are probably less students so attentive like you than I’d like, but it’s not that. I just-I haven’t found my path yet”, you explained, putting your hand on his arm, squeezing gently. While looking at each other you didn’t notice how Sarah smiled secretly at the two of you, knowing something you two probably didn’t know yet.

Just as Steve opened his mouth to say something the doorbell rang again, making Steve leave the room to let his father in.

You hadn’t even noticed you were still smiling, before your gaze finally fell to Sarah. A warmth spread in your chest at her knowing smirk. “You’d like some wine?”, she asked you and you nodded silently.

She poured some of the wine for you and her, before putting the wine bottle into the fridge. Meanwhile Steve came back with his father close behind him. You quickly stood up, shaking his hand to greet him. “Hello, Mr Rogers”, you smiled friendly, but he didn’t return it. Okay, weird. You actually thought he’d be the one liking you more.

When you all were sitting and had your food, Sarah took her wine glass and smiled at you. You understood and grabbed your own, raising it slightly, before taking a sip and putting it back aside. Of course Steve noticed you and his mother having wine. Why couldn’t he have any? “Mom, why can’t I have some wine too?”

She raised her eyebrows at his comment. “Because you’re not 21”, his cheeks turned slightly rosy, but he didn’t give up. “But it’s my birthday and we’re home. Just one glass, please mom.” She shook her head and for some reason Steve looked back at you. You immediately felt all eyes on you.

“Why are you looking at me?” “Can I have a sip-“ “no, you’ve heard your mom. No wine for you till you're 21-” He scoffed Slightly. “If we were in Europe I’d be able to drink already-” “but we’re not in Europe.” For some reason your bickering made Sarah laugh quietly, breaking the argument about whether Steve should get wine.

In the end he just got orange juice.

You spent the meal with light conversation, mostly talking to Sarah and Steve. Joseph only talked to Steve, even avoiding looking at you. It made you feel unwelcome. Like an intruder in their home.

“Steve, could you go and grab my briefcase from my car”, said Joseph after everyone ate a slice of cake. Steve seemed confused, Sarah as well, but either way Steve did leave the room, looking once again back at you. For some reason you felt like your mouth went dry all of a sudden. Your heart started pounding. An uneasy feeling spreads in your chest.

And you were right.

As soon as the door closed behind Steve Joseph looked at you with a stern cold gaze. “So, what is you want from Steve? Surely you’re not with him for his maturity, since you’re ten years older-“ ouch on that one, it’s only seven, not ten, thank you very much. “-why are you even here?” You felt tears burn in your eyes. And you cried rarely.

“Steve invited me-as a friend. We’re friends, that’s all-” Joseph scoffed, shaking his head. “Do you think I’m stupid, girl? If he’d be inviting his friends he’d have invited Bicky or whatever he’s called”, said the man angrily. Sarah hit his arm. “First off-don’t speak to her that way, do you understand me? Or you can leave. And second, it’s Bucky. His name is Bucky.”

He still seemed not wanting to stop. "Bicky, bucky, whatever, not even he was invited by Steve, but you? YOU? His damn tutor? Maybe you’re not even teaching him math, huh? I shouldn’t have hired you either as my assistant or his tutor, you’re probably just sleeping-" Before you could react Sarah slapped him across the face. (Thankfully, because otherwise you’d have done it yourself.) She was as furious as you were hurt. She may not like the age gap between you and Steve, but seeing how happy Steve was with you was enough to let her overlook it. Steve’s happiness was all that mattered and she could tell you had romantic feelings for her son.

“You'll apologize to this sweet woman or leave this house now, Joseph.” Her voice was calm, but you felt the rage behind it. Joseph seemed to get angrier, too. “You can’t throw me out of my house-“ “It’s not your house anymore. Now get your cheating ass out of my house and don’t even try to call Steve, telling him shit about-“, when they heard the door open their argument immediately quieted down, but you still felt awful. Humiliated by Steve’s father accusing you of…being a whore? A gold digger? You really didn’t know what exactly his problem was.

You stood up, grabbing your purse, not looking at Joseph or Steve, just at Sarah, knowing she’d understand. “It’s late, I have to work in the morning and should go. It was lovely to meet you, Sarah. I hope to see you some other time”, you said friendly, your voice shaky and Steve definitely noticed how different your demand was from how you usually acted.

Sarah nodded with a sad secret smile on her lips, knowing the real reason. Before you put your coat on, Steve gently took your hand. “I’ll drive you, come on. It’s dark. You shouldn’t be alone on the streets”, that’s one of the reasons why he wants to drive you, but the other one was to ask you what happened here while he was gone…and also ask you on a real date.

“Steve you don’t have to, it’s okay-“, you started, but he only shook his head, taking his car keys and throwing his jacket on. “It’s fine, I’d feel better that way-knowing you’re safe”, his words made your heart swell. Steve was a good guy, Natasha was right with that one.

On the way home you stayed mostly quiet, even though Steve tried to ask you what happened, but you lied once again telling him it’s because of your early work. You could tell Steve wasn’t believing any of it, but still stopped asking.

He walked you to your apartment door, not wanting for the evening to end. Before today you’ve never spent so much time together and he enjoyed every second of it. A soft laugh escaped your lips at the way Steve was standing behind you, while you opened your apartment door-definitely not needing his supervision anymore. “Steve, I think I’m safe now”, you smiled at him, making the young man blush. He shrugged, looking at you from under his eyelashes. “Maybe I want to spend some more time with you? If you’d like…”, he whispered quietly.

You thought about it for a moment, before grabbing his hand and pulling him with you into your apartment, where the first thing you did was take off your shoes. “What would you like to do, Stevie?”, the nickname affected him immediately, his face turning a sweet shade of red. “M-maybe watch a movie? I don’t know-I’ve never been on a real date-“ “is this a date?”

You didn’t mean to sound rude, but Steve seemed to take it that way, immediately stepping away from you. “I-no-not if you don’t want to-I’m sorry for assuming-” “no, no, I’m sorry Steve. It’s okay. I’m just surprised but-yeah, I like for it to be a date”, you whispered thinking back to what Natasha had said. You deserved love. Some happiness…

And even if Steve wasn’t a partner you thought you’d end up with, you’d love to try.

That’s how you found yourself on the couch in Steve’s arms, while a movie was playing but neither of you paid attention to it, being busy with talking. Him always caressing your side and arms with his fingers, so carefully it even tickled sometimes. You couldn’t tell if the tingle on your skin was from the tickling or just from him being so close to you.

“Now that I’m 18, we could be in a relationship…go on real dates…”, he whispered in your hair after a while. For a moment you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, scared of what the right answer would be.

But the right answer was what your heart was telling you and not your head. At least this time.

You slowly lifted your head, meeting his gaze. “I’d love to do that, Steve”, you whispered back, sitting up and carefully sliding onto his lap, making sure he was comfortable with you doing so. His hands found your hips, pulling you a bit closer against his chest. You noticed how he scanned your face for any reactions, but since you liked it, he only found a smile.

Leaning down you put your lips softly against his, making him gasp quietly, but he immediately returned the kiss enthusiastically-maybe even a bit too enthusiastic. Once again it reminded you of the difference between your experiences and his. Or more the lack of them.

And yet somehow you really liked the sloppy and unskilled movements of his lips, getting more used to it with every second you were kissing him. You liked how he tried to mimic your lips, his kissing slowly becoming better. The kiss was gentle and slow, making your whole body tremble. You don’t remember the last time you kissed someone just for the purpose of kissing. It was just a kiss, soft and innocent, not even using tongue. Why this felt like the best kiss you ever had you couldn’t tell.

Steve’s hands found its way to your waist, pulling you closer against him, till you were flushed against him. Hesitantly he licked over your bottom lip, wanting to deepen the kiss. You opened your mouth, letting your tongue faintly slide against his, before exploring his mouth. This time he definitely felt even more uncertain what to do, just letting you dominate the kiss, till he started returning it as hotly as you.

Grinding faintly against him, you felt his hard length pressing against his pants, against your throbbing cunt. Only two pieces of clothing between your sexes.

Panting you broke off the kiss, needing some air, but you still stayed close, leaning your forehead against his. Steve was breathing heavily, unknowingly grinding his hard cock against your crotch. You grabbed his hands, pushing them slowly to your thighs, before letting them slide under your dress to your ass. “If you want we can continue in the bedroom, Stevie, but we need to talk about some things first”, you whispered, kissing his jaw.

“Yeah-let’s-yes please”, he whispered. Surprisingly he pulled you a bit closer against him and stood up with you-fuck, you hadn’t expected him to be so strong, but you liked it. You told him where to go, the bedroom door being kicked shut by Steve, while he placed you on the bed.

Chapter 4

Don’t worry, you’ll get your smut in the next one and it’s gonna be a lot👀

Thank you for reading!! I really hope you liked it, please let me know! Leave some feedback and reblog!❤️

Questions, thoughts or wanna talk? -> inbox!

#teach me how to be good #student steve rogers #high school au #Steve Rogers #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x female reader #Steve Rogers x tutor reader

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wisecreationkid · 12 days

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FORBIDDEN THERAPY

Charu started crying when we reached the table. She kept saying she wasn't ready and didn't want to do it, but her body kept betraying her. Her legs spread wide, spreading herself open for me, exposing her pussy to me. I stroked her thighs and then her pussy. She gasped when I slid my fingers inside her. Then I took her lips with my mouth, kissing her hard. She moaned and bucked against me,

wanting more from me. I pulled away and whispered in her ear that I would take care of her. That I was going to give her pleasure and pain. That I would use her. She cried harder when I said those words.

I took her wrists and tied them down on the table. She begged me not to leave her like this. I looked at her, ignoring her pleas.

"I told you before that you will get what you want, but also something else." She shook her head in denial, tears streaming down her face. I looked down at her. "You will get your punishment."

She nodded and whimpered. "And you will get what you want," I said. I leaned down and licked her pussy, using my tongue as if I were eating a frozen yogurt, but instead of the sweet taste, I tasted her wetness.

She was so hot. I loved eating her out. "Mmmm," I mumbled. She moaned. I pressed my thumb against her clit while sucking her inner folds. I could see her body tensing up. "Yes," she whispered. I continued licking her and moving my finger over her swollen clit. I licked up and down and circled her clit, until she came in my mouth. She came hard.

I swallowed every drop, savoring her taste. I got up and kissed her again, standing above her now. I moved her legs apart wider and held one foot in each hand, looking at her pussy.

It was glistening from her orgasm. "Open your mouth," I commanded. She opened it obediently, waiting for me to fill her mouth. I brought my fingers to her lips. She sucked them, licking them clean of her juices. "Good girl," I praised her. I put another finger in her pussy, making her cry out in pleasure and pain. She was so wet. I felt how tight she was. My cock was so hard right now.

I needed to fuck her. But first, she had to suffer some more. "I am going to tie your ankles together and then I am going to fuck you." I watched her face. She nodded, swallowing hard. I pulled off the blindfold.

Then I tied her ankles together and lifted her legs and placed them on top of my shoulders. She cried out from the stretching. I pushed my cock inside her. I stopped and asked, "How many times have I fucked you?" "Once," she said immediately. "Who am I?" "My doctor," she said without hesitation. "What did I tell you about talking during sex?" She bit her lip. I knew she was thinking about what I had said.

I slowly withdrew my cock and pushed back in, making sure to hit all the right places. "This is just an exam," I reminded her. "Just relax and enjoy." She nodded. Slowly, I began fucking her.

She was so tight. Her pussy squeezed my cock so hard. I could feel myself coming close. I picked up speed, plunging my cock into her. She screamed louder than before. I came inside her, filling her with my cum. I stayed still inside her, letting her feel every spurt of my seed. I was so exhausted after coming. I took a moment to breathe. The only sound in the room was her panting.

I pulled out of her and knelt beside her. I untied her hands and feet and helped her sit up. She hugged me tightly. I held her, kissing her. "You've done well today, Charu. You passed the test. Congratulations."

She started crying again, but this time, they were happy tears.

I couldn't help but smile. This was my favorite part of the day.

Hearing her scream, hearing her beg, seeing her broken. All of it was beautiful to me. And when she came undone in my arms, there was no greater feeling than that.

After a week, things settled down. Charu didn't try to escape anymore. We settled into a routine where she would stay with me and come to my clinic every morning.

In exchange, she gave me everything I wanted. Her body. Her soul. She me. And for that, I was grateful. I never touched her during our sessions, but sometimes I did at night when we were alone.

Sometimes I tied her up and played with her body. Other times, I was gentle with her. The days blurred into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. Still, she never tried to escape. I had even taken her outside, and she didn't complain. At the end of the year, I asked her to stay with me forever. She agreed. That night, I took her to my house and showed her the space I had prepared for her.

It was a small room, with a bed, a desk, and a bathroom. There was a door between my bedroom and hers, which I kept unlocked. She could go wherever she wanted.

She just had to be careful not to step out of the house. I made love to her on the floor, surrounded by candles, with music playing softly in the background. She surrendered herself completely to me. I loved her so much. I was so proud of her. I vowed that day that I would do anything to protect her. Even if it meant losing myself in the process.

#dark romance #romance #fantasy #smut #r@pe kink #stockhom syndrome

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famina · 1 year

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School (tummy) Rumbles 02

For the 1 year anniversary of Irakus's introduction I made the sequel of his fanfic ! (I don't know if I'll do that for the others. Maybe if I remember XD) Let's see how the little vamp boy is doing ! (Psst...it's not good...)

TRIGGER WARNING for hunger, pain.

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Life has a way of passing you by. Quite a bit of time has passed since you promised your classmate Irakus to help him with his…nutrition problems… But you still haven’t found a solution for him. You haven’t been lazing about tho. You somehow got very busy a little after that incident with friends, family, school work and other things. The next semester has also begun and you are no longer in any classes with the vampire boy which makes the matter seem less urgent. Actually, you haven spoken to Irakus in a long time. For all you know, he already found a way to feed himself.

And now that exams are starting you have absolutely no brain space to think about him. You worked to hard to let all your efforts go to waste now ! Okay, maybe you could’ve worked a little harder during the year but hey ! You can’t change the past ! You’ll just have to work extra hard now !

You have started to hear a few thing about your vampire friend tho, and not good news. Well you did hear one good thing. Apparently he found a friend ! That Timothy Langlais guy in Fine Arts ! You don’t know much about the guy other than he’s a bit weird and seems to have many troubles at home, but he seems nice enough. As for Irakus himself, people say he’s not doing so well. He sleeps a lot during class and he falls unconscious in PE. They also say that he looks sickly but tries to hide it with his usual smile. You conclude that he did not find blood to eat after all. This does worry you. And so, you decide to go see him.

On a free period, you find him in an empty classroom. He seemed to have fallen asleep and no one bothered to wake him up. As you enter you keep your distance. He is still a blood sucking monster who has not eaten in a while.

“I-Irakus ?” You call out to him. His body twitches and he slowly rises his head.

“O-Oh ! (Y/N) ! What a nice surprise. It’s been ages, how have you been ?” He yawns and gives you a sleepy smile.

“I”ve been good….what about you ?”

“M-me ?! Oh….” He seems to ponder the question “I….I should be off to my next class…please excuse me…” He stands up with some difficulty. After a few steps he trips slightly and you rush over to catch him.

“Woh ! Hey ?! Are You okay ?” You are now genuinely worried.

“Yes. Yes. I beg your pardon. I’m simply exhausted by all those school examinations…haha..” He tries to reassure you. But you are not convince and give him a sad look.

“Oh. Please do not look so sadden (Y/N). I am perfectly fine. I assure you…Now, please excuse me..” He stands back up and makes his way out of the classroom leaving you all alone with you thoughts.

You should get to your class too. You don’t have time for this and he said himself that he was fine. You repeat those words in your head as you go on with you day.

Alright ! You are now done with all of your tests ! You only have one paper to hand in and you’re free to celebrate your summer vacation ! You station yourself at the school computer in one of the remote classes to be in peace and start working. You’ve decide to not go home until that work is done and sent, so you write and you write. And you research, and research. And re-read yourself and re-read. Aaaaand DONE ! Wouh ! You send it to you teacher and you breath a sigh of relief. You look at the time, 10:52 PM, you still have a few minutes before school closes for the night so you let your tired eyes shut for a second as you lay your head on the desk. After what feels like a few minutes of blissful slumber you open your eyes. The screen of the computer has gone to sleep, weird ? You shake your mouse to wake it up and then you see the time, 2:34 AM . . . WHAT ?!

How can it be ! Wasn’t it 10PM a minute ago ! You’ve must slept longer than you’ve thought ! And how come the guardian didn’t kick you out ?! Does he not go to all the classes ? What a slacker ! You gather your things and make your way to the exit, when you notice a light in the hallway ? Who could that be ? A janitor. No, wait..it’s 2AM, no janitor should be here. A thief then ?! No…the light is not coming from any place with valuables. It’s coming from… The gyms showers ?

You decide to investigate. With caution, you approach the showers and you now notice that you can also hear running water ! Someone is taking a shower in your school at 2 AM ! What’s going on??? As you are just about to enter the room, the water stops ! And wet foot steps can be heard coming towards you. Unsure if you should scream, run or get ready to attack you stand there as the footsteps get closer and closer and..You scream ! And he screams ! You didn’t not know what you’d find there but you somehow didn’t think it’ll be this !

A drenched Irakus without a single piece of clothing is screaming at you in total chock. He finally gets a towel to put around his waist and start forming sentences.

“W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE (Y/N) !!!???” He’s red as cherry.

“I-I-I just…NO ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE !? AND WHY ARE YOU TAKING A SHOWER !?”

“W-WELL I HAVE TO BATHE LIKE ANYONE ELSE ! DON’T I !??”

You both breath and calm down.

“I-…” Irakus begins “If you’ll excuse me a minute” To those words, he returns to the showers and closes the doors. When he opens them back you see he is in a classy pijama.

“Uuuh..” You look at him with a hundred questions in your eyes.

Embarrassed and unsure, Irakus clears his throat and makes a gesture towards the upper floor. “Could you please follow me, (YN) ?”

You follow him to a remote classroom you’ve never been where the desks have been arranged in a weird way and a few personal items can be found lying around.

“H-Hmmm…W-welcome to my humble abode…haha…ha..” He opens his arms in a comical grand gesture to humor the situation.

“I-Irakus..Are you…living here ?”

“ahahaha…” He tried to laugh away the embarrassment. “It IS my current accommodation b-but it is really not as bad as you’d first think ! I have access to a shower, heating and electricity !”

“Y-yeah but…” You look around at his living quarters, they consist of a single pillow under some desks, a suitcase with a few clothes and items and a motivational poster on the wall where you can read “2006 IS OUR YEAR ! LET’S DO IT !” You can’t help but give a troubled expression. “Why are the desks arranged like that ?” You question.

“Oh ! I was hm…trying to reproduce my coffin…hehe…”

“I…..see….” You don’t really know what to say. Irkaus starts to become nervous.

“S-so…what brought you to school so late (Y/N) ?”

“Uh ! Just a last work I had to send in. And then I think the lack of sleep caught up to me and I feel asleep in the computer room.”

“I see. And could you hand in your work on time ?” He seems genuinely interested.

“Oh ! Yeah ! I did !”

“Ha ! Congratulation (Y/N)!” He gives you a warm sincere smile.

“Ah..thanks Irakus.” You can’t help but smile back. “But it’s VERY late now. I should get go-“ Irakus suddenly fells face first on the ground “H-HAN ?!” You rush towards him to help him out. “H-Hey ! Irakus !? What happen !?”

“I-…I’m very sorry, (Y/N).” He weakly turns his head towards you. “That was…very rude of me…haha..”

Your demeanor becomes grave. “I heard it’s been happening to you in PE class too.”

“Ah…Yes it has…” He avoids your gaze.

“……..Irakus…..please tell me…..” You take a deep breath and let it out “…Did you have anything to eat recently ?!”

The vampire boy is shocked by your words. He puts his head down and you begin to see his frails shoulders tremble. “N…no…” His voice cracks a bit “I did not….not since we’ve spoken…not since an eternity !...” He is clearly in pain.

“W-Wait…you mean you haven’t had anything since that time you asked in the locker rooms ?!!!” The vampire nods shyly. “BUT THAT WAS MONTHS AGO!!”

“Y-yes…Believe me I am well aware.” He gives you the saddest of smile.

“B-but…How come you’re stomach isn’t growling like before then ?”

“I am unsure…” He looks at his sunken inn tummy. “It has stop rumbling a month or two ago….Although It does not mean I am not in pain right now…haha…” He gently caresses his belly.

You feel terrible for him. “How long….How long has it been since you last ate, Irakus ?”

He stops rubbing his stomachs and looks in the distance “………………A year now….”

Your hearts drop. A year ?! a full YEAR !? 365 days ?!! “H-HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD !??”

“I told you, didn’t I ? It takes a lot to kill me.” He gives you another sad smile.

It’s true. He isn’t human. You need to remember that. But right now, he looks so helpless. Another question pops into your mind “……Why….why didn’t you tell me..??!”

Irakus stops smiling. “Well….You had already voiced your refusal…I did not…want to bother you further with the matter…..”

You start feeling awful. Sure you didn’t want your blood sucked out of you, but you could’ve help ! Or at least, you could’ve tried to help.

Irakus tenses up and clutches his mid-section as his expression turns to one of extreme pain. You can’t hear his stomach but it’s clear that his hunger has gotten tremendously worst. You ponder a second, but you don’t need to. You’ve made up your mind.

“Okay.”

“Huh ?” The hungry boy looks at you with incomprehension.

“Okay….you can have my blood.”

The eyes of the vampire widens, his lips tremble slightly and so do his hands. “R….r…..really ?!”

You take another deep breath. “Yes. You said you wouldn’t kill me, right ?”

“O-Of course not !! I-I would never ! I-I….” Irakus becomes all twitchy and nervous and excited. He then stops and gives out very sofltly : “……thank you….”

You laugh a bit. “You’re welcome.” You sit down properly and try to get mentally ready. “So.” You begin “How does it….I mean…What should I…??”

“Oh ! Right !” Irakus moves his face inches from yours. “First I shall spellbind you, It will make the process more pleasant.”

“O…..kay…” You are still very unsure. You do know he’s a good guy, but you are kinda putting your life in his hands. He notices your discomfort.

“(Y/N)…Are you really sure ?...It is still time to refuse if you…” Irakus looks to the ground. A second ago he was full of excitement and here he is worrying about your well being. You close your eyes for a second, breath in and open them back up.

“Yes. I am. Go for it”

“Alright.” Irakus red eyes lock onto yours. In an instant, they are all you can see. The world around becomes blurry as you feel yourself getting weak and dreary. But it doesn’t alarm you. In fact you feel…nice…As if nothing in the world can bother you in this moment. You enjoy this feeling of tranquility for a few seconds and suddenly, a sharp pain pierces your neck ! And yet, you’re not frightened. The pain…actually feels good. Like a cold refreshing shock running through out your body. The pain is not long either. Soon you feel a warmth in all inches of your being. And you feel the pulsation of your heart beat throughout your body. Has it always been so loud ? Each pulsation is met with a suction sensation on your neck. The sensation is enthralling, between each beat, you crave it’s return. But slowly, you feel your whole consciousness dim and you fall in a calm trance. After a while, you realize you are lying on the ground. You get back up as you slowly regain your senses.

Irakus is in front of you, breathing heavily. He looks better, a little more…alive ? You touch your neck in the place where you felt the pain. You can only feel two little scabs that seems to already have healed.

“How..ha…wha…”

“I-I healed up the punctuation for you.” The young vampire explains shyly. “I_I….I did not hurt you, did I ?! He asks with worry.

You think back for a second. “No…Well…You did. But it wasn’t…painful ? I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Oh. Well if you are not hurt, that’s all that matters.” He poses and seems tense for a moment. Then he bows he’s head very low. “Thank you so much (Y/N) !! I…I could not bear it any longer !!!”

“O-Oh ! Well, yeah…you’re welcome…So, how are you feeling now ?!”

“I feel amazing ! So full and content !! I have not feel so good in ages !!!” He is visibly ecstatic ! You are happy for him.

“Well I’m glad yo-…Wow…” You tried to walk but felt dizzy for a moment and almost fell down.

“Ah ! (Y/N) ! Oh dear, this most be cause by your blood lost…I am so sorry…Mh…..There’s a vending machine not far ! I’ll go get you something to replenish your strength ! I-I won’t be long ! Please wait here !”

He dashes out of the classroom before you have he time to protest. He seems much more energetic now which reassures you. Irakus comes back with about 10 different kinds of snacks. You laugh and say you only needed one or two. He decides that he’ll keep the resto for a friends of his. You eat some oatmeal cookie and feel a bit better. Your vampire friend next to you is agitated.

“I-I was sure I didn’t take much….I must’ve gotten to greedy..I am so sorry..”

“It’s okay.” You reassure him. “I don’t feel bad or anything, and the cookie helped. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” He smiles. But now that things have settle down, a question pops into your mind.

“So…what are you going to do now ?”

“Huh ??”

“I…don’t think I can do this for your EVERY time your hungry…I think you should really find a solution to not feel so bad all the time.” His features become serious.

“I…..I know….But now that my energy is replenish I’ll have much more brain power to think of a long term solution !!” He seems very optimistic, so you leave it at that for now.

“How long till you’ll get hungry again you think ?”

“Usually it takes about a day or two. But I have become much more accustomed to hunger now. So I believe I would be fine for about 2 weeks.”

“I see. Well...I hope you can find something before then.”

“I do to ! Haha “

The sun is beginning to rise now. You decide to wait for the first bus of day and Irakus offers you to walk you to the station and see you off. You talk a bit while you wait. You asks him what are his plans for the summer break. Is he going to squat in the school all summer ? He seems to not have given it much thought until now. You conclude that his hunger must’ve overtook all his thoughts for a while now. The bus finally comes and you get to go home to your warm bed at last. As you sit down, you see a vibrant Irakus full of eagerness and gratitude enthusiastically waving his hand to you. What a guy.

#hunger fic #hunger kink #belly kink #hungry tummy #hungry boy #tummy rumbles #oc art #anime boy

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tired-biscuit · 2 years

Text

THINKING about Kiba.

Kiba, who looks and feels like autumn personified, despite being born in the peak of summer.

Who had always been rather insecure about his teeth ever since he was little, but loves to smile and laugh far too much to hide them.

Whose laughter is so contagious and genuine, that you can’t help but join in.

Who loves animals more than humans, but easily befriends both.

Who always has your back, as long as you have his.

Who keeps pushing you to do your best, especially on days when you feel like you can’t.

Who texts you slightly aggressive, but nevertheless encouraging text messages before every exam/job interview/doctor’s appointment.

‘pls stop with the big sad, my badass gf ain’t some whiny bitch. btw, buy soda on ur way home cos we’re all out. love u. :-)’

Whose expressions are so detailed and profound that you can easily tell everything you need to know about how he’s feeling in that exact moment.

Who smiles real big when the music is extra loud and he can feel the bass surging through his body in booming waves.

Who is so carefree and wild that you’re left absolutely speechless.

Whose eyes shine like liquid gold whenever he looks at you.

Who steals the attention whenever he steps foot into the room.

Who is a free, reckless spirit that cannot be tamed.

Who causes pure havoc everywhere he goes just for the fun of it.

Who is willing to set the very world on fire just for you.

Who believes in you. Truly believes in you.

Who smells rich; like cinnamon and firewood and smoke, that fill your lungs with liquid honey until you can practically taste the sweetness.

Who feels like a ferocious thunderstorm, if it were a person.

Who looks at you like he wants to eat you whole at times.

Whose touch is so warm and thrilling that it feels like electricity.

Who always stands tall for what he believes in.

Whose skin is golden, that it makes you wonder if the sun itself loves him.

Who screams the colour red with just the way he behaves.

Whose body language and assertive bearing makes people feel slightly intimidated at times, even though he’s a dork by heart.

Who will crush the head of anyone underneath one of his heavy Dr. Martens boots if they ever do you wrong.

Who acts like he’s annoyed whenever you poke the dimple in his cheek, but secretly likes the affection.

Who tries to include you into the conversation, and gently nudges you into talking because he knows you want to, but don't know how.

Who notices the little changes in you, because he pays way more attention that you’d think.

Who has no problem fucking you senseless in a dressing room or in the backseat of his car, but turns flustered and red as soon as you post him on your Instagram story or hold his hand out in public.

Who begs you to give him haircuts at home, because he’s too lazy to schedule an appointment with a proper hairdresser.

Who waits for you when you need to tie your shoelaces.

Who just can’t stop touching you. Might it be with his thigh touching your own, or his arm draping around your shoulders lazily; his love language is touch and you best endure it if you want to stay with him.

Who just loves women in general and respects them just as much, too.

Who crouches down whenever he gives a dog head pats.

Who keeps smothering your face in doting, little kisses whenever you’re sad, and refuses to stop until you’re finally smiling again.

Who will always be your #1 hypeman.

Who sings along with you in the car, even though he’s completely tone-deaf.

Who will embarrass himself more, so that you don’t feel as bad, even though he hates to do it.

Who has both of his arms covered in intricate tattoos, and loves it when you trail the tips of your fingers over the designs.

Who acts all cocky and arrogant, but is actually far more complex and insecure underneath all that hard-exterior.

Who trusts you enough to show you that fragile side.

Who never falls first in a relationship, but definitely falls harder in the end.

Who can’t fall asleep if you’re not laying next to him, and thus pouts and whines until you join him in bed.

Who is a charmer of the natural sort, and is flirty as hell with you every chance he gets.

Who fucks you like a beast.

Who gets jealous super easily, but tries not to show it. [And fails.]

Who allows you to wear his old leather jacket, even though he considers it as his holy grail.

Who goes even harder when you tell him to slow down.

Who acts like a fallen soldier whenever he gets a mild fever.

Who is happiest when surrounded by his friends and family.

Who has trouble talking about his absent father, because it still hurts.

Who rarely cries, but feels the ache twice as strong.

Who was always second best, until he met you.

Whose heart beats faster whenever you say his name, and hammers if you moan it out.

Who loves you so deeply, inexplicably - infinitely, but doesn’t know how to show it properly.

Who wraps his body around your own late at night, because it helps him sleep better.

Who whispers such dirty and mean things into your ear whilst he’s pounding into you from behind, but makes them equally as sweet when you’re both finished and spent.

Who loves watching your face when you cum, because he knows he was the one that made it twist in pure ecstasy like that.

Who gives the best aftercare.

Who makes you drink water after sex, because he knows you’re going to need it for the second round he’s got planned.

Who just keeps on pushing, and pushing, and pushing your limits, because he can.

Who is still absolutely afraid of his mother even to this day.

Who dances whenever nobody is watching, because he thinks it’s embarrassing, even though he’s surprisingly smooth on his feet.

Who pokes his tongue out into your mouth whenever you kiss him just to mess with you.

Who hates reading, but secretly likes it when you read him random bits and pieces of a story you’re currently obsessing over.

Who fucks you just with his eyes alone whenever he’s really lusting for you.

Who considers Naruto like a brother he never had.

Who cherishes the people he loves so deeply that he’s somehow afraid to show it.

Who will tell anyone to shut the fuck up and is ready to fight with anyone who’d even consider making fun of you.

Who loves indie rock, but secretly enjoys the classic fuckboy rap, too.

Who is handsome in the most crude way.

Who is awfully clumsy, but pretends he isn’t.

Who groans and is audible during sex, never ceasing in telling you how fucking good you feel around him.

“You feel so good, baby. Can’t stop fucking you... Can’t get enough.”

Who lets his intrusive thoughts win sometimes, but they’re so funny that you’re crying from laughter as soon as he voices them.

Who doesn’t think things through before he executes them, but luckily has you coming to his rescue every single time.

Who never stops trying to impress you, no matter how long you’ve been together.

Who isn’t all that romantic, but attempts to be sickeningly cheesy just for you. [Especially on important dates.]

Who pounds you into the goddamn mattress when he’s having a bad day, until you’re crying and he’s licking the tears away.

Who apologizes for it later, too.

Who is effortlessly funny.

Who turns chaotic when drunk; especially when hanging out with Naruto.

Who pretends he doesn’t care, but secretly lingers in the room and listens in whenever you gossip with your friends over the phone.

Who discusses said tea as soon as you’re finished with the call, trying his hardest not to seem invested.

Who surprisingly hates clutter and mess, and helps Naruto clean his own place whenever he visits. [But not without slandering the living shit out of him first.]

Who loves it when you hug him first, because he’s still hungry for approval.

Who gets super excited whenever you come home after a long day at work.

Whose phone gallery is full of memes and dorky pictures of you.

Who loves to sext whenever you’re not spending the night together.

Who owns the libido of an animal in heat.

Who wants to breed you like one, too.

Who will turn awfully clingy in public if he’s drunk and horny, always tugging on the sleeve of your sweater or resting his chin on your shoulder.

Who is secretly way nicer than you’d thought he’d be.

Who tries to show you how much he adores you with the little things.

Who is so simple, but equally as complicated.

Who loves to make you choke while he’s fucking your throat.

Who will give you the shirt off his back, if need be.

Who is absolutely terrifying when angered, but tries to tame the storm to brew within for your sake.

Whose hugs are absolutely the best.

Who really cares so fucking deeply.

Who wakes up with you on his mind, and goes to bed with you, too.

Who offers you his heart on a silver platter.

Who feels actually seen with you.

Who constantly tries to reassure himself that he’s worthy enough to have you.

Who never felt like he was good enough, until he met you.

I’m thinking about Kiba, who loves you more than you love him.

And the fact that he doesn’t mind it for a change.

#kiba #kiba inuzuka #kiba headcanons #kiba x reader #kiba x y/n #kiba x you #naruto #naruto headcanons

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