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asteriismos · 2 years

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lovers & liars - ben hargreeves (closer part two)

PAIRING ◆ sparrow!ben hargreeves x umbrella!reader

WARNING(S) ◆ SMUT, DIRTY TALK, unedited, piv sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (fem receiving), my writing.......

SUMMARY ◆ a part two of closer.

WORDS ◆ 4.9k

NOTE ◆ the people have spoken.

You woke up early in order to get out of the shower, because there was no way that you were going to even attempt to show your face in The Sparrow Academy looking the way that Ben left you last night. When you woke up, you almost thought that you dreamt of the whole thing and it hadn’t actually happened, but when you got into the warm shower and studied your body, you knew that you hadn’t been dreaming at all. What happened last night really happened, and now you weren’t even sure what to do with yourself.

You were supposed to hate Ben. He was the enemy and he was an arrogant asshole that didn’t think about anyone but himself. But when you closed your eyes all you could think about was his hands on your body, reaching for your throat and squeezing, and then pushing your legs apart in order for him to push himself - No. You needed to get your act together and finish your shower. Rinsing off the sweat and whatever remnants he had left on your body as night off, you got out of the shower and wrapped a white towel around you, wringing out your hair and taking a moment to look in the mirror once again in order to think of an idea on how to hide the marks that were high up enough to where you couldn’t hide it with a turtleneck. You knew that there was one in the closet of the room that they had given you while you were held hostage.

The steam from the shower seemed to lighten them a little bit, and it was harder to see his handprints. But they were still there, almost as if they were messages from him that he had been here and there and that wasn’t all that he managed to do with you last night. It was still early and you had yet to hear anyone get up. Rummaging through the cabinets, you were able to find some older looking makeup that matches your skin color fairly enough. You weren’t an expert at covering up bites and marks but you seemed to do a pretty good job, at least enough to where no one would pay much mind. If anything, they looked like similar bruises you had gotten from fighting the Sparrows only a few days ago. You got out of the bathroom and changed into clothing that was tighter fit than your normal clothing, but they seemed to have a niche for it.

Soon enough you could smell breakfast being served, and you finally got the courage to make your way down there. Christopher was there, along with Alphonso, Sloane, and Jayme. Fei and Ben were nowhere to be found and that made you nervous, knowing that they were the only two people who knew of what happened last night. Fei didn’t know that Ben and you had sex, but she definitely knew that you were thinking about Ben more than you should have. Minutes went by and there was still no sign of them and you started to settle, drinking your coffee and helping yourself to the healthy meal that had been prepared by Grace. Sloane was talking about something but you weren’t necessarily listening, especially when finally Ben decided to make an appearance.

He was dressed in a tight dress shirt and those black pants he was always wearing, and his shirt was unbuttoned enough to see the gold chain sported around his neck. You cringed to yourself, rolling your eyes and wishing that you had gotten to mark him up so he wouldn’t be able to wear those dumb shirts for a few days. Ben saw that you were staring and you could’ve sworn you saw a small smirk before he sat down, next to you as always, because why would he dare break up his little tradition now – especially after last night. He remained somewhat quiet, only quipping that you were too slow at passing the fruit bowl and you had half the sense to throw it onto his lap. But you didn’t and instead stayed silent. There was no way that you were going to give him any pleasure by messing with you.

But your plan seemed futile, because Fei turned to face you and asked, “So Y/N, I heard you awake so late last night. What were you up to? We wouldn’t want our favorite hostage plotting an escape so soon.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but was slightly faltering because Ben’s hand came and reached for your thigh under the table. You almost jumped, but composed yourself before doing so and instead glared daggers at him, making direct eye contact as he acted like he was doing nothing. So you turned to his sister, avoiding the fact that Ben’s hand was sliding farther up your thigh, and saying, “No reason. Just couldn’t sleep, that’s all. The city is a lot different than Dallas, I’m not used to it anymore.” It was a good enough cover that for a moment you were almost certain that Fei believed it, but you knew that she was feigning understanding and instead was angry that you were able to dodge the situation. Ben’s hand pulled away and you took a moment to look at him, seeing a slight smirk on his face that he covered up by taking a sip of coffee.

The rest of breakfast was uneventful. Ben didn’t as much look at you let alone even utter a word in your direction, and the rest of the Sparrows went off to begin their day, a lot of them were heading to the rec room to run on the treadmills. That meant that you would be left alone to do nothing, because you didn’t want to train with them, they weren’t your family and they were your captors. So you watched as one by one they left, until it was only you at the table and you finally decided to stand up, walking out of the dining room and into the hallway back to your assigned room. As you were about to turn the corner, you heard two voices talking and quickly realized that it was Ben and Fei.

You halted your movements, pressing your back against the firm wall and slowed your breathing, making sure that you were silent as you listened in on their conversation.

“I heard you.”

“You didn’t hear shit,” Ben countered, his voice laced with the same amount of condescending narcissism you had gotten used to and knew all too well. “Nothing happened after you told me what Y/N was thinking about.”

You sighed to yourself, realizing that Fei was beginning to get even more suspicious. This was the last thing you needed. If they somehow found out . . . It would get to your family and who knows what would happen after that. How were you supposed to explain that you had slept with the enemy? Not only that, but it was Ben, who you thought had been dead for years. It was something that needed to stay a secret. Though by the sound of it, it sounded like Ben was trying his best to cover up what happened.

Fei tutted her mouth. “You act like you’re the leader of this team who doesn’t have a care in the world, you think that you can just parade around in those uptight turtlenecks and everyone will just listen to what you have to say.” You almost wanted to start clapping, Fei was really laying it down on Ben. “But newsflash: No one is going to listen to you if you get caught up in a lie. Now, I don’t care if something happened between the two of you, but her family will. We should send her home.”

“Not until they tell us what happened to Marcus. If you don’t want me to be number one so bad, Fei, then maybe you should be getting information on our brother instead of questioning what I do in my free time,” Ben stated. You heard Fei grumble something that you couldn’t hear and footsteps receding in the opposite direction, which meant that Ben was alone in the hallway. You took that moment to turn the corner finally and come face to face with him, seeing a scowl on his face and his hand clenched up, like he wanted to punch something but there was nothing there for him to hit. “Didn’t anyone tell you that it was bad to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Wasn’t really that hard. It’s a big house but the walls have a tendency to bounce off sound. I should know, I grew up here just like you. Same old house, same old bullshit.” That part was true, there was just something about this house that sometimes made you think that your dad purposely built it as such. There seemed to always be a reason for things like that. “Plus, if you didn’t want me to eavesdrop, then let me go back to my family. I don’t want to be in this house anymore, it’s like I’m a teenager all over again.” This house brought memories of your childhood that you didn’t want to remember, and it didn’t help that yet again you felt trapped.

“You know that I can’t let you go. Not without Marcus.”

“My family wouldn’t take Marcus, we don’t even want to take part in whatever war you’re trying to wage. My brothers and sister have been through too much.”

Whatever you said, Ben wouldn’t believe you. And you knew that if the roles were reversed, you would probably feel the same way. You would do anything to save your family and you knew that Ben, under all of the egotistical qualities he had, felt the same way about his family. It was hard for you to think of him as an actual person because of the way that he carried himself, but the more you stood in the hallway, looking him in the eyes, the longer you began to understand his motives a little better. You still weren’t sure what he tried to gain from sleeping with you . . . Was there even a motive? Or was he giving into his temptations despite you being the enemy? Despite spending his whole life training to not give into his desires?

This was one of the first moments where the two of you weren’t bickering with each other. The only other time was last night, and even then you two were being mean to each other while fucking. It felt nice to finally let go of all that anger and to just be calm with him. You hated to admit that you liked it. Maybe if he was like this more, then maybe he would be more tolerable.

Ben walked towards you, the dark hallway only being illuminated by the light above the two of you. Your breath hitched in your throat, allowing him to step further until he was a mere few centimeters away from you. He stood taller than you and inched his head down until you were face to face, close enough to feel his breath on your face, the same way it felt last night. It took everything in you not to press your lips against his own. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, both of you silently wondering who was going to cave in first. His hand came up to grab onto your cheek and you thought that this was it, Ben was really going to kiss you again. Your eyes fluttered closed and he inched closer . . . closer . . . Your heart was pounding in your chest and your mind went blank. All you could think about was him, touching him, feeling him, allowing yourself to give everything just to him. As your lips brushed his own, Ben pulled away, making you open your eyes and open your mouth to say something. But when you opened your eyes, Ben was already halfway across the hallway and turning the corner. You heard his footsteps recede up a flight of stairs and he was gone, leaving you alone to wonder what the hell was going on.

You pressed your back against the wall and sighed.

Ben didn’t show up for the rest of the night. For a moment you saw him at dinner when he requested to have his own sent up to his room. All of this avoidance from him was making you nervous, wondering if there was something that you did wrong to make him angry or upset with you. But there was nothing that you could think of, he had simply changed his mind right before kissing you. It made you curious and also furious, wanting to know why he thought that he had the right to treat you like that. If he didn’t want this to happen, why had he let what happened last night happen? He was playing games and you were through with it.

You left dinner early to confront him, knocking on his door and not giving him the time to answer, instead opening up to his room and closing the door. “What the hell is your issue? First you sleep with me and then once you’re finally getting your way again, you just leave? And now you’re avoiding me,” You stated. “What the hell is wrong with you? I want to go. You’re going to let me go now.”

Ben stood up from his desk. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? First you come here with your pathetic siblings like a fucked up Brady Bunch claiming that this is your house and then fighting us when you won’t leave. And then you stole my brother, our number one. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“We didn’t take your fucking brother. And why do you even care? You’re not even negotiating with my brothers, you’re just keeping me here. I’m not something that you can just keep forever, Ben, I want to be with my family again and never have to deal with you motherfuckers ever again,” You spat. Your words were harsh but you were so angry. “And what the fuck was that in the hallway?”

He gave a small smirk, like your yelling didn’t even phase him. “You’re mad I didn’t kiss you?”

“That’s not what I-”

“It is what you meant. Just admit that you want it to happen again.”

“I don’t,” You said. “It’s you who made the first move.”

“You didn’t push me away or tell me to leave, you wanted me to kiss you so much that you stood there like a dumb idiot minutes after I left. Just admit it.”

Taking a leap, you started, “I did want you to-”

He didn’t hesitate to give you what you wanted, grabbing your face with both of his hands and moving the two of you away from the door, slowly inching you towards the bed and helping you rest on your back, the silk sheets against the back of your arms and neck. Ben was quick to follow, climbing on top of you and connecting his lips onto the skin right below your jaw. His lips were soft like snowflakes falling onto your skin, creating a masterpiece on your skin like you were his canvas. The other marks that were there from the night before seemed to hum, like your body was excited that Ben was finally back. It sent shockwaves to your core, igniting a feeling you felt only the first time that he had kissed you.

Seeing how well your body responded to him, well, almost drove Ben crazy. You were so willing, so ready for him that his mind became cloudy, the only thing he could make out was his thoughts of you. Nothing about the war between your two families, what would happen if someone were to stumble into the room somehow or if someone heard what you two were doing . . . None of it seemed to matter to him, he just wanted you. His lips trailed down from your jaw to your neck, paying extra attention to the places that made you breathe out more than the others. Your hands found their respective place in his hair, feeling the softness of his hair between your fingers.

Your clothes suddenly felt foreign on your body, you wanted them off, you wanted him off so that you could see all of him again. He seemed to hear your thoughts, humming against your skin and pulling away, pressing a hard, firm kiss to your lips and helping you get out of them, and in turn you helped him get out of his. This time was less harsh than the other time but there was still a sense of roughness. You weren’t sure what you wanted from each other the first time, but this time there was more of an understanding. More of a want.

Ben’s body was like nothing you imagined before. Sure, you had seen him without his shirt on and you had seen a part of it last night but the rest was something you weren’t expecting. He was breathtaking . You knew that he had a nice body because of all the training and countless amounts of physical strain he has been through, but looking at those abs that he had, along with the sun kissed skin he had, you felt your throat close up. The thought of him being on top of you again was driving you crazy.

His hands came to your hips, fingers toying with the fabric of your underwear that was the only thing blocking him from seeing you fully. His eyes scanned you, taking in the sheer and utter beauty before him. He wanted to kiss, lick, and nip on every single inch of skin on you. He wanted to learn each and every single curve, hear every story behind your scars, and know just what touches would have you squirming from underneath him.

Your whole body felt hot, needing to feel the release that was beginning to build up from all of his kisses and your imagination running its course. “Ben,” You breathed out, not knowing how to form into words what you wanted from him. Of course he knew, he could see your eyes filled with a lust, thinking of something almost sinful, something he was sure he was emitting himself. He knew exactly what he was going to do to you so that he could hear the plethora of moans that he knew you had just for him, wanting to hear his name come off of your lips in pleasure.

His head ducked down and kissed your hipbone, fingers hooking under your underwear and slowly sliding them off. Your eyes stayed on his actions, mouth forming into an ‘O’ when you realized what he was going to do. He was going to use his mouth on you. These were only things that you thought in your deepest, darkest fantasies, like he had reached into those parts of your mind and did exactly what you wanted.

As if Ben was just tempting you, he pressed another slow kiss to the inside of your thigh and then did the same thing to the other side. Your hips lifted up only slightly, showing him that you couldn’t wait much longer. A chuckle left him, eyes reaching your own and saying, “Eager?” You weren’t even ashamed when you shook your head, keeping eye contact with him as he licked a bold stripe right up your slit. It felt as if an earthquake hit your body, your back arching and hands gripping onto his hair.

He hummed against you, liking the way that you responded to his actions. If he had it his way, he would sit here with you like this for hours on end, bringing you up to that high place again and again until you were a wrecked mess before him. It made him simply go crazy to think that he was the one to hear those moans and profanities that slipped from your cherry kissed lips. Ben’s own thoughts made him groan out, a noise that you played on repeat in your mind as your eyes screwed closed.

Your thighs quivered beside his face, attempting to squeeze shut so that you could keep him there forever. But his hands came and held them in place, fingers digging into your muscles that gave in to his touch like it was nothing. You were putty in his hands, the only movement you had was your hands pulling on his hair and the arch of your back while he lapped his tongue against you with no mercy.

“Stay still,” He told you, pulling away for a moment to lick what was left of you on his lips. You nodded, chest heaving and heart sinking at the loss of contact. But Ben didn’t leave for long, his mouth on your clit accompanied with one of his fingers circling your entrance. You nearly lost it when he dipped his middle finger in experimentally, gauging your reaction. You could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten, which only amplified once his finger pushed into you all the way.

You didn’t even attempt to try and censor the obscenities that came out of your mouth, mixed in rhyme with his name. Ben. Ben. Ben. It was the only word that felt real in your mind.

You waited for that final jump towards a euphoric end, but it never came. Instead Ben pulled away from you and his fingers left, making you feel uneasily empty. Opening your eyes, you saw that he was pulling down his boxers, taking his cock into his hands and watching as you almost became slack jawed.

And with all the courage that you mustered up, you gave him a nod, wanting him shamelessly again. You were sinfully feeling like you were Persephone, cutting up her own slice of pomegranate and looking right into Hades eyes as she tasted the fruit, securing your fate that you would stay with him. You would stay with Ben and keep doing this over and over again. Suddenly you didn’t care what your family thought or what anyone thought, you were sealing your fate with him.

He nestled between your legs and you could feel his tip press against your entrance. Air was caught in your lungs, sitting up on your elbows so that you could see as he eased himself into you. A sting of pain and a subtle feeling of pleasure was seated inside of you, watching as his cock was enveloped inch by inch. Ben hissed at the feeling, you were so goddamn tight and he never wanted to stop from being inside of you. Once all of him was inside, he leaned over so his head was in the crook of your neck, pressing a kiss to your searing skin as you adjusted to him bottoming out.

You urged him to continue, thinking that the discomfort would soon go away with time. And you were eager to get all of him that you could, temptation coming forward instead of reason. He pulled out all the way then eased himself back in, continuing the slower pace and watching your reaction before him, your hands reaching to his back and finding their place there. One of his hands kept your legs open, taking you by your thigh and hoisting it up.

It took all that he could muster to not just ram into you, the want starting to cloud his judgment. He wanted to milk every single second of this moment, there wasn’t one thing that he wanted to stop himself from doing. “You feel . . .” He started. “You feel so good.” That alone, along with the raspiness in his voice, made a fire erupt in your stomach. You sighed in response, eyes fluttering closed once again.

And then you whispered, “Go faster, Ben.” You needed him so bad you felt like you were going to explode, lust enveloping the both of you.

He didn’t need to be told twice, and he gripped onto the leg he lifted up, beginning a slightly faster rhythm that had you arching your neck and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Ben was so big, stretching you out in just the right way that had you almost keeling over if he hadn’t had such a tight grip on you. Your one leg wrapped along his waist, heel digging into his back while his pace increased.

This angle he had you in made you yelp and moan shamelessly, not caring if anyone in the house could hear you as you yelled his name like a prayer. His pace finally became a fast rhythm and you found comfort in being able to finally feel nothing but pleasure with every deep stroke he made.

In this place, it was only you and him. Like you were in your own little place of paradise where you could explore each other in every way. There was nothing that could take this moment from you or him, this moment would forever be engraved in your mind for many years to come, remembering the way that he moaned out your name and the way he looked when you opened your eyes to peek at his face. His brows were furrowed, sweat beading on his forehead and mouth spilled open saying nothing but your name.

He made you feel so good, so euphoric that the fire grew and grew, becoming a wildfire raging inside of you. And you looked so heavenly to him, the way that your eyes only looked at him, breasts bouncing with every harsh thrust he gave you. You took him so well, like you were made for only him. His hips brushed against your own, hand coming up to caress your cheek, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

You weren’t going to last much longer. Not with the way that he was pounding into you with sheer force you didn’t know was possible until now. But you didn’t want this to end, you never wanted this to end in fear that things would go back to the way they were before. You would have to try and forget that this ever happened. It wasn’t something you wanted to do and didn’t even know if you had the strength to do it.

You made a guttural noise, teetering over the edge of what felt like a wave of bliss. This was it, there was no way that you could keep yourself from it now. It only took a singular deep stroke of his cock to send you right over the edge, your back arching and body spasming, his name rolling off of your tongue in the most sinful way you have ever said it before. Your hands gripped for any part of him that you could reach, groping his muscles to keep him close to you. He didn’t stop moving inside of you, making you ride it out even harder as he chased his own high.

You were so sensitive as he fucked into you, giving you no mercy. He groaned as you came, watching the way that your eyes screwed shut and mouth opening in as you sucked in harsh breaths. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you and you knew that he was close, wondering if he was going to cum inside of you or pull out before he did. He did the latter, taking one more deep stroke before pulling out. Ben was about to start stroking himself with his hand but you rushed with your own to meet him there, using your own and pumping a few times.

A string of profanities came from his lips as he came, white hot liquid spurting onto your stomach, dripping like beads coating your skin. He had no shame as he shuddered, muscles flexing with every passing second. He drank in your body, seeing how wet you were for him, how soft your hand was on his cock, how much he longed to see you like this more times before you would go back to your family. And soon enough he was finished, the only thing between both of you was both of your panting breaths.

Ben moved to grab something on the floor, realizing that it was the shirt he had on before and moving to wipe your stomach off, dropping it to the floor and coming to lay down next to you. You winced for a moment as you moved to look at him, his own eyes staring at the ceiling. He didn’t push you away or tell you to leave his room. Instead the two of you just laid there with each other, you were listening to his labored breathing finally begin to slow to a normal tempo.

Your mouth opened to say something, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. You jumped and Ben’s hand came to grab onto your arm. “Who is it?” He asked.

“It’s Sloane. Y/N’s brothers are here, they want to talk.”

Your eyes widened. “All of them?” You didn’t even care that she knew you were in there with him, you were sure that the whole house knew at this point.

“Just two. One that keeps asking for coffee and another that keeps playing with his knives.”

Well, this should be fun.

#ben hargreeves headcanons #ben hargreeves fluff #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves smut #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x reader #the sparrow academy #the umbrella academy fanfiction #the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #viktor hargreeves

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danganronpaxobeyme1356 · 15 days

Note

Levi how's things still watching TSL? Wait what about dare! Tell those 3 mages about TSL!

Ehh?! Yes but.. Wait uhm.. Oh.. Okay

Have you ever heard about the tale of seven lords?!

What is that?

It's novel that been adapted in several adaptations that created by a human named Christopher Peugot! Well it's about 7 lord brothers, and the protagonist is henry that is a human!

Hmm sounds worth to read

*he just came back after put his lightseeker outfit on* what you talking about levi?

The tale of seven lords!

I think I've heard that before.. it's about demon 7 lords right?

Yes you got it!

Actually the cd has 4 volumes but I spill that for you.. The seven lords are brothers, the oldest being the Lord of Corruption

who's always plotting and planning in secret. The second oldest is the Lord of Fools who'd do anything for money.

The third brother is the Lord of Shadow, a brooding recluse.

The fourth oldest is called the Lord of Masks, who acts as a high-status, upstanding member of society, but in truth he's inhumane and cruel.

The fifth brother whose name is the Lord of Lechery has a dirty mind and only thinks about seducing others.

The sixth oldest is the Lord of Flies and he only has one thing on his mind: food.

Lastly, the seventh brother is called the Lord of Emptiness, who's hard to understand or read. Like belphie.

That's lot of characters...

wait are they really brothers!?

Yes it is, as for story it divided into several parts and henry helping each one of them. So well known parts is.

Volume two scene.. the second lord reunites with his is former lover, Geldie, but he finds her frozen in ice and I just hopes the lord will find a way to save her life.

Uh.... sounds bad.

Is she caught on snowstorm?

Yep..

then in volume 5.. the supply lines of the Lord of Flies gets cut off after his land is invaded by hostile forces. The Lord of Fools sends food supply to him, but the food spoils because of the rain, causing a disease spreading across the Lord of Flies' land

Uh oh that's even more worse!

Wait huh!?

Yep but that's only the thing that second lord to to helping his brother lord of flies.

Their friendship and family bond is really strong.. I kinda feel like sympathizing for them.

You know what scary? A plague.. and no food supply..

Haha yeah true nice joke Rafayel!

#ask #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me leviathan #leviathan obey me #The tale of seven lords obey me #love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #xavier love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #rafayel love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #zayne love and deepspace #Study Days In It’s Glory arc #diavolo obey me #obey me diavolo #barbatos obey me #obey me barbatos

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teasty · 3 years

Text

kiss yourself (01) | h.js (m)

● pairing: han jisung x (female) reader

● genre: angst, smut, fluff || fwb to lovers au

● words: 6.9k ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

→ summary:

It all started when you and your best friend for life, Han Jisung, got a little bit too tipsy at a party and ended up waking up naked in the same bed. After that unfortunate night, you and Jisung confirmed there be a distinguished “friends with benefits” relationship between the two of you, with a few rules.

Number One: No one else is supposed to know about this relationship.

Number Two: The minute one of the two of you starts a serious relationship with someone, the benefits are cut off immediately.

Number Three: Have to respect the other’s wishes, if one doesn’t want to do it, then there’s no argument.

Number Four: No falling in love.

But, when Jisung starts crushing over your classmate, you start to break the rules. One by one.

a/n: first story here :D my dirty mind couldn’t resist smut so here we go

CHAPTER ONE | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

“Oh, fuck, baby… you feel so fucking good.”

It was a stupid way to start of a weird relationship with one of your best friends, Han Jisung. A stupid way to let yourself succumb to his stupid antics and a stupid way to let him be more than a friend, but less than a lover.

It was a few months ago, and your second year of university was just starting up. Jisung had convinced you to go to some party the week before school would start. But, you were reluctant at first. Unlike Jisung, you were never too much of a party animal. Never too much of a social person to begin with. Jisung was another story entirely. He would always be out late and wouldn’t go back to his house or his dorm room until late, according to his roommate, Jeongin (who thankfully kept tabs on Jisung for you whenever you were suspicious that Jisung wasn’t telling the truth to you and would go out to some party, when he would tell you that he’s just going to meet up with other friends. You didn’t want to overbear him, but you worried for his health at times).

It was your first party, too. You had never bothered going to one in high school, not wanting to be crowded by drunk teenagers, being thrown up on or spilled on, or watching two people fuck in the corner of the room. It was never your go - to, but Jisung had convinced you to go after he promised that he’d never leave your side, even if he was being dragged away by “some hot chick trying to hop on his dick”. Even if you had wanted to say no, you couldn’t get a “no” past his pleading eyes. So, you had hesitantly agreed to go, and he was beyond excited to take you to your first party.

He even helped you pick out an outfit, and had taken hours finding the right one for the occasion. You’d never been very fashionable, unlike Jisung, who usually decked out in expensive clothes and accessories (you preferred comfortable, classic clothes like hoodies and leggings instead of skin - tight jeans and overly designed shirts). Jisung had basically tore your closet apart trying to find the “right outfit”. It was tiring, but you will admit that you had fun with trying on new clothes and hearing the praise from Jisung. He had eventually chosen an outfit for you that you felt quite uncomfortable in, but nonetheless beautiful. You had worn a tight pair of black leather pants, a maroon red tank top (that was tucked into the leather pants) and a black jacket. You will admit that it was sexy, and Jisung seemed to like it.

A lot.

But, he claimed that guys there would be drooling over you and trying to sleep with you, but he’d be there to keep you safe. Even so, you wondered why he’d make you wear such an outfit to a party if he was only going to keep you away from a one night stand, one you wouldn’t even remember anyways. He did claim that he wanted you to ‘keep your innocence’, which was total bullshit since he knew you weren’t a virgin (you lost it to some jock in high school who had been eyeing you during a football game) and definitely not innocent, as you both liked to constantly make dirty jokes here and there.

The party was at some rich kid’s house, and their parents were out of town. Their house was gorgeous and big, but filled to the brim with loud university students, some you had even recognised as your classmates. Jisung had kept his hand interlocked with yours as he pulled you through the crowd at the entrance and to the living room, where there was a table full of food and drinks, and even a cliche bowl of spiked punch. You were glad not as many people crowded the table, but Jisung obviously had some friends there, since he hugged one of them before going back to you.

“Hey, Hyunjin. Felix. Have you guys met (Y/N)?” Was the first thing he had said to them, and you were somewhat flustered by the sudden attention. But you suspected that you should have expected that kind of attention, since Jisung seemed oh - so excited that he’s taking you to a party.

“I don’t think we have,” said one of the two. You were taken aback by how deep his voice was. It wasn’t forced either, his voice was so relaxed, you almost felt like you’d be pulled into a deep sleep if you were to listen to his voice for hours. He was handsome, too. His bleached hair was a little long, but not as long as the other man’s, with brown roots peaking through the top of his head. “The name’s Lee Felix. I didn’t know Jisung kept such pretty friends away from us.”

“Oh, don’t be a flirt,” says the other man with long hair, which was tied back in a ponytail. You had concluded that he was Hyunjin, if the other was Felix, “And, no. I think I’ve seen you around though. But not in… those types of clothes.”

“Yeah, and you call me a flirt?” Felix cocks a brow at Hyunjin, who only glares back.

“It’s not flirting if it’s just stating a fact. I’ve seen her around… but in oversized hoodies and leggings,” Hyunjin counters.

“Alright, alright, pipe down,” Jisung interferes, stopping what would have become a petty argument about who’s flirting and who’s not. “Well, since you both can’t make a decent introduction… (Y/N), this is Felix,” he points to the man with the deep voice, “and this is Hwang Hyunjin. I think you guys might be in the same chemistry class last year, am I right?”

“Oh, yeah…!” Hyunjin claps his hands together, “You’re the one who nearly blew up the whole class! Oh, I remember, now.” Hyunjin and Felix laugh together, and Jisung gives you a weird look.

“It’s a long story,” you sigh, chuckling along with their contagious laughter, “Let’s just say that I was too tired to function and got mixture A mixed up with mixture B and almost made a really severe chemical reaction. I don’t think it would have blown up the whole school, though.” You fold your arms, and Hyunjin shrugs his shoulder.

“Who knows,” Hyunjin says, and you squint at him. “I’m not a chemistry genius, but it could have been bad. That’s not the point. I’m glad to meet you, (Y/N). I hope we can be closer.”

“Ditto,” Felix smiles down at you, and you chuckle awkwardly, flustered, “You seem like an interesting person. How did you and Jisung meet?”

“We used to be neighbors, like, a decade ago,” Jisung answers for you, leaning against the table filled with drinks and food, “Since we were the same age, we stuck together. Even after I moved again, we still talked like every day over the phone until university hit. Thankfully we got into the same school, and we both are going to live on campus, so… It’s been a lot easier.”

“Surprised you two were able to stay close even through distance,” Felix comments, and you and Jisung share a brief look and smile, “Not a lot of people are able to hold a strong relationship when the only thing they have is a phone or computer. Take Hyun for example, he couldn’t stay friends with this one chick even if he tried.”

“Wasn’t my fault she sucked at holding conversations. She always expected me to make up all the interesting shit. Kinda glad she ghosted me, now,” Hyunjin laughs, almost defensively, as if embarrassed by such a situation.

“It was your fault for trying to cling to her,” Jisung intervenes.

“Oh shut up, shortstack,” Hyunjin grumbles, and Jisung’s brows raise in challenge.

“Say that again, pretty boy, I dare you,” Jisung threatens, and you glare over at him, but he didn’t seem to care for your glare. Hyunjin and Jisung did end up getting into a petty argument about it and you had to stop it by asking Jisung to show you around the place. But, not before trading numbers with Felix and Hyunjin, since they insisted that they wanted to get to know you better (Felix still grumbling irritably about how Jisung kept “such a pretty friend” away from them for so long). You wouldn’t deny new friends, even if they were Jisung’s party animal friends and flirtatious, it didn’t really matter to you. You could use some new friends, anyways.

You had met a few more of Jisung’s friends (who all seemed to be so handsome that your heart would race every time they’d smile down at you or talk to you), three seniors,Seo Changbin, Lee Minho and Christopher Bang, and another, younger man named Seungmin. Out of all of them, Seungmin and Christopher seemed the most genuine. Minho, Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin just seemed pretty flirtatious. You could admit that you were intimidated by them, and by the party in general, but with Jisung next to you the whole way, you had at least some sense of security.

Your first drink of the night wasn’t until a few hours into the party. You were a little bit more comfortable with the setting. Jisung had sat you down in one of the living rooms, as you learned there were many. Not as many people were in this room other than people talking or flirting. It felt nice to finally sit down on such a comfortable couch, since you had been standing on heels the whole night, and relax. Jisung had already had a few mixed drinks, and you could see his face getting redder and redder due to the alcohol.

He handed you a plastic red cup filled with something orange that stunk of different kinds of liquor. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing too strong,” Jisung reassured, and you huffed softly. A bit nervous to drink it, but you did, anyway. It wasn’t terrible, but you could taste the liquor clearly through the citrusy taste. Jisung watched you as your face grew from confused to scrunched up from the bitter taste. You had alcohol before, but every time you had it, it was like the first time all over again. But, when you got used to the taste, the cup was empty in a flash.

You didn’t know when it started kicking in, but after you had Jisung fetch more drinks and you tried to stand up, you immediately plopped back onto the couch as an instant wave of fatigue washed over you. Your head started to ache, and it was getting warmer than it should have been. Sure, it was nearly the end of summer, but it was like someone shut off the air conditioning. So, you took off your jacket while waiting for Jisung to come back. It felt like forever until he came back, and you instinctively began to miss him. He’d stayed by your side the whole night, and it was weird without him. It was lonely, too, even if there were other people in the same room. You were too nervous to talk to them, though.

When he did, and handed the drink to you, the minute he had sat down, you clung to him.

“Woah, you alright?” Jisung laughs it off as you take the red cup in one hand and the other latching around his strong bicep. You were never usually one for skinship, but now was a different story. Each time you looked at Jisung, you felt like he was going to magically disappear. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol that made you so anxious or just you being lonely, but you weren’t really going to let go anytime soon. At first, Jisung was tense, and it took him a minute to get used to you huddling so close to him.

Like the first, the cup you had was empty sooner rather than later, even though Jisung advised you to sip on it instead of gulping it down, like you had been. After that drink, you didn’t order him to get another drink, you were too focused on the feeling of his bicep to ask for another.

“You can’t be drunk after two mixed drinks,” Jisung said after a while.

“Not drunk… just a bit tipsy, is all,” you responded, more of a low grunting than a talking voice. You liked how you could hear Jisung’s voice loud and clear the closer you were to him.

“Sure. Your tolerance isn’t very high, you know,” Jisung chuckles, and your body moves along with the bounce of his for each laugh. You only grunted in response, having already known that. “And, by the way, you don’t have to cling onto me like that. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Shut up,” you snapped, but you didn’t really want him to. You just didn’t want him to talk about you letting him go, since you didn’t want to. To prove your point, you squeezed harder onto his arm, “I’m comfy. Lemme have this moment.” Jisung deeply sighs and complies. After that, there’s a comfortable silence.

You were staring at the way your legs pressed against his as his legs relaxed in a (hot) manspread. His head leaned back, slightly tilted towards yours, which was squished against his shoulder. His hand rested delicately against your thigh, not moving much but sometimes his hand would press against your thigh. It was nice, and you could faintly hear his heartbeat.

You and Jisung weren’t strangers to cuddling, as you both had a lot of sleepovers before (with a strict talking to from your parents about having sex, and why not to do it), but this was different. Almost intimate. You’re both adults now, so cuddling like you would years ago when you were both barely teenagers wouldn’t be so innocent. Especially with Jisung’s obvious sex drive, things wouldn’t go so well. You both had never done anything like that, either. You both have never even kissed before. Well, there were times when he’d kiss your cheek or hand and vise versa, but nothing more than a peck and nothing more than that.

You wouldn’t deny your attraction to Jisung. You couldn’t really see yourself in a serious relationship with him, but damn is he attractive. He really matured over the years, too. His beautiful brown hair is in need of a cut, but you liked it a bit long. He might not be the tallest man alive, but his face made up for it. Even if he had the cheeks of a chipmunk, his jawline was as sharp as a knife. You could stare at him for hours, just admiring how he was built. You wondered if he felt the same about you. If he could stare at you for hours just admiring your beauty. Of course, it would probably never even cross his mind, even if Jisung would say how pretty you looked with a specific hairdo or how you looked beautiful in a certain outfit.

You found yourself staring at him as your thoughts carried on. Your arm unhooked from around his, and you watched how his eyes were closed. He looked like he was sleeping, but you could tell he wasn’t by the way his hand gripped you just above your knee. You were staring at him, and then at his neck. The way his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed.

Your mind grew hazy, void of thought as your lips parted slightly, your breath fanning his neck. His hand squeezed harder around your leg and you could faintly see his brows furrow. He doesn’t do anything nor say anything, but you watch as his bottom lip catches in between his teeth. You want more of a reaction. You don’t know why and you can’t form a reason why, but you do. You push yourself a little bit further until your lips connect just underneath his jaw. Your warm tongue pressing against his warm skin. You can feel how his hand trembles and the way his leg twitches underneath your own. Jisung emits a breathy groan, and you can feel it against your tongue.

“(Y/N)...” Jisung musters out, but you only press wet, slow kisses along the side of his neck, “What the fuck are you doing?” His voice is deeper, raspier and darker. Almost scary. If you weren’t so blank in the mind, you would think he’s mad. But all you can think about is urging him on further. You don’t want to answer him. You don’t have an answer to begin with.

“Just relax,” You whisper closely to his ear, nipping at the skin below his ear, and he sharply inhales. At this point, you don’t care who’s watching or why you’re doing this. The soft, breathy sounds Jisung emits makes you feel different, and the feeling of his warm skin against your tongue is addicting. “Don’t push me away.” You whisper again, one of your hands creeping up over his defined chest and along his neck.

“You have no fucking clue what you’re getting yourself into,” Jisung groans out, and you only chuckle against him. Briefly halting your wet kisses to his neck to smile lazily. “I’m being serious, (Y/N).” You know he’s serious just by the tone of his voice.

“Mmm…” was all you responded with as you pressed your body against the side of his. Your hand gripping his shirt as your leg creeps over his more and more. Edging yourself on top of him. “Sunggie…” you teased him by groaning his nickname into his neck. Sucking gently on his skin, giving it a blue and purple hue. You gave him multiple marks, and his hand caressed your arm gently as you breathily moan his name against his neck, “Sunggie… Jisung - ah.”

And that seemed to break him. His hand snaps up to grip your cheeks, aggressively pulling your head away from him to make you look him in the eyes. And it’s a look you’ve never seen in him before. It wasn’t anger or disgust in his half lidded eyes, but a pure sense of utter lust and desire. His hand grips your chin, his fingers pressing against your cheek as his eyes examine your face. His face is a pretty pink from the alcohol and you guessed from him blushing. Now, you’re on top of him. Straddling his lap, and you can feel his hard - on underneath you.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, (Y/N). I’m giving you one last chance before I take you back to my place and break you,” Jisung says, and you liked this side of him. Sure, you’ve seen him being aggressive, but not like this. No, this is different. You don’t have much courage to speak, so all you can do is let your tongue fall out of your mouth and guide his index finger in between your lips. His mouth parts slightly in shock as he watches your mouth engulf his finger.

“Fine, you wanna be like that,” Jisung brows furrow, and he stands up quickly, and you let out a yelp as his hand yanks itself from your mouth as both of his hands latch around your thighs. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, and your arms around his neck, “We’re going home.”

It wasn’t easy, leaving without being spotted by one of Jisung’s friends. Felix had come over to see us when he saw Jisung’s arm wrapped around you as your head stuffed into his neck (teasingly kissing his neck). “Oi, Jisung. Everything good?”

“Yep,” Jisung gives Felix a convincing smile, and you smile against his neck, “I’m taking (Y/N) home. She got a bit too crazy tonight.”

“Really? She’s been pretty quiet,” Felix notes.

“Well, she has her different sides to her,” Jisung laughs, “Uh, yeah, well, I gotta get her home, Felix. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright? Let Hyunjin and everyone else know that I’m leaving.”

“Alright, I’ll catch you later, bud. Take care of her for me, alright?”

“Oh, I will,” Jisung smiles, and you squeezed tighter onto him.

After that, it was foggy. All you could remember was how Jisung treated you. Calling you dirty things all while praising you. Making sure you were alright while tearing you apart blissfully.

It was the next morning where everything was decided.

You were the first to wake up, having the sun shining brightly in your face. You had a blazing headache, and you could feel your head pulsing that morning. You couldn’t even open your eyes after you woke up because it hurt so bad. You hadn’t even considered where you were or why you were completely nude at first. But, when it hit you that there was only a thin, soft blanket covering you, you had the courage to open your eyes and see where you were.

It was a familiar room, that’s for sure. The bed was much bigger than your own, and you usually had more pillows and blankets than this, so it wasn’t your room. It didn’t really hit you where you were before you looked to your side. You nearly screamed when you saw Han Jisung, your best friend laying next to you. His back turned to you, and completely shirtless. You held the blanket around your chest. You stared at him for a moment, brief memories of last night running through your mind. You wanted to cry as embarrassment and shame powered through you, but a sense of want overpowering it. A part of you didn’t want this to be just a one - time thing.

“Jisung!” You whispered, nudging his shoulder. He didn’t budge, “Han Jisung! Han Jisung - ah, wake up!” Your voice raised as you shook him, “Jisung!”

“What, what? Is everything okay?” Jisung bolts up after you yell his name. Sitting up straight, he hisses when the sun makes contact with the sun. His hand rubs his eye, and you try not to note the scratch marks on his back, the hickeys littering his neck and chest or how he was just as naked as you, only being covered by the comfort of the thin blanket. “Fuck, (Y/N), don’t scare me like that.”

“Why are you acting so calm?” You didn’t raise your voice, as your head ached terribly because of it, “Look at me Jisung.”

And, so he did. He looks up. He didn’t seem as tired, as he saw the blue and purple hickeys lining your neck and what he could see of your breasts as well as red scratch marks on your shoulders. You both don’t say anything for a while. You’re both an uncomfortable distance away from each other, and you didn’t want to admit that you wanted to cry right there.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung is the first to say something after that tense silence, and your brows furrow, “I… I shouldn’t have… I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll… I’ll.”

“Why are you sorry?” You asked softly, and Jisung seemed hasty. His hands were trembling as he gripped the blanket, and he didn’t make eye contact with you.

“I shouldn’t have done anything to you. Everything’s ruined now,” Jisung’s head dips, “I shouldn’t have let the stupid alcohol guide me. Fuck, (Y/N), I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Hey, nothing’s going to change between us,” You crawl towards him, still keeping the blanket firm around you as your free hand cups his cheek and lifts it up towards you. “It was both of our faults…” Jisung stares up at you, “I was the one to make the first move. If anything, it was my fault.” You let go of his face, as he watches as you sit on your feet. You swallow the lump in your throat, and utter out, “And, besides… I don’t regret anything.” Jisung’s mouth falls open, and his brows lift in what you can guess is shock, “I might not remember all of it, but I how you made me feel.”

There’s another silence, both of you staring at each other.

“I want to feel it again.”

Jisung didn’t answer right away, but his bottom lip got entrapped between his teeth subtly.

“You don’t know that,” Jisung whispers, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Of course I do,” your brows furrow, almost angrily. “I know what I’m saying, Jisung. And I’m saying that I don’t want this to be just a once in a lifetime thing and never think of it again.” You look away, resting against Jisung’s headboard. “I know that we don’t share romantic feelings for each other. I know that, Jisung.” You look over to him, “So, I want benefits.”

“You mean…? Friends with benefits?” Jisung musters out in a low, unsure voice, “I don’t know, (Y/N). I don’t want to ruin this friendship.”

“But, that’s the whole point of it, Jisung,” you chuckle, “I know that you don’t want our friendship to weaken, and neither do I. But, Jisung, I’ve always been attracted to you. Not exactly like I want to be your girlfriend, but I want you in some way. I just don’t know if you feel the same way, so I’m saying it now. Do you want me, Han Jisung?”

He doesn’t answer right away, which makes you nervous of his answer. But, his answer satisfies you, thankfully; “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I hate to admit it, but I do. I couldn’t resist last night.”

“I know. It was my fault for urging you to do that even when you warned me not to,” you chuckle.

And, from then on, you two concluded that whenever someone needs to let off stress or steam in the form of sex, the other should be open for it. Of course, there’d be rules along with it. You didn’t want this to just be a ‘come by for sex and leave’ kind of thing, or thinking the other is romantically attracted to the other so you wanted to make some ground rules. Jisung agreed, thankfully.

There were four rules. Number One was that no one is to hear about this relationship. Not only would it cause rumors amongst school and your friends, you both agreed that it should be kept top - secret. Besides, you both didn’t want people to think you’re both in a secret relationship and that it’s more than just a friends with benefits type of relationship.

Number Two was that the minute one of you gets into a serious relationship with someone, all benefits cease. This one is quite obvious. Neither of you wanted to be defined as a cheater if either of you do end up in a relationship with someone else. No matter how much the other person wants it, if one of you is in a serious relationship, until that relationship ends and both are single, there’s no sexual activity.

Number Three was that both had to respect each other’s wishes entirely. No matter how bad they want it or how horny they might be, if the other person is uncomfortable with something or doesn’t want to have sex, then the other must respect their wishes. Again, no matter how horny or how much they want a certain thing. This also leads to a safe word between the two of you, which was just basic yellow and red. Yellow being to slow down or to take a short break and red being to stop completely without argument.

And finally, Number Four was that there’s no falling in love. This one was actually Jisung’s idea. Everything else was yours. You agreed with him, but was still skeptical about it. If you did catch feelings, you’d have to hide it. Jisung seemed pretty serious about it, though, which kind of scared you.

And, those four rules led to the present day, months after this event. You lean against a family bathroom sink with Jisung’s fingers curled around your hair, keeping your head up to watch him in the mirror as he slowly pushed himself into you. Your leggings and panties barely pushed down past your ass as Jisung undid his belt and pushed his pants down. Not even prepping you before he pushes himself into you. His cock, covered by the condom, which he had learned to always carry around, slowly dragging against your wet, oversensitive walls.

He’d been teasing you all day in the movie theatre he’d taken you to with his friends. While watching the movie alongside Hyunjin, Felix and Christopher, he was slowly playing with your clit, edging you on and on. Finally, the movie ended and after half an hour of pure torture from Jisung’s sinful hands, you dragged him to the family bathroom (which was one bathroom with a lockable door). He didn’t even hesitate before bending you over the sink, making you watch him and yourself as he fucks himself into you painfully slow.

“Oh, fuck, baby… you feel so fucking good.”

You delicately whimper at the sound of his words from behind you as he fills you. Jisung liked to call you by pet names during sex, like baby, babygirl or babe (anything with baby in it, really).

“Oh, fuck… I’m not gonna go slow, baby.” Jisung warns the minute his pelvis presses against your ass.

“I don’t care,” you groan in response, eyeing him in the reflection in the mirror, “Break me, Jisung. You’ve been teasing me all fucking day - oh my god!” you would have screamed if it wasn’t for Jisung stuffing the end of your hoodie into your mouth before his hands grip your waist before pulling out and ramming himself back into you. Once his hand lets go of your hair, your head dips down in pure bliss. Your teeth grinding against the fabric of your hoodie and your hands gripping the sink.

“I know you like it, baby,” Jisung grunts out as he starts to thrust into you, “I know how much you like it when I play with your little pussy in front of everybody like the little fucking slut you are. I know you like it, baby.” You let out choked moans at his words. The degrading words only make you wetter as you move your body back to meet with his thrusts. One of your hands reaches back to grip his wrist as Jisung’s hands dig into your hips to move your body with him. The way his cock rammed into your tight cunt burned in a blissfully sinful way.

Jisung had pulled your tank top and bra underneath your breasts so he could lean over you to play with them harshly. His hands gripping your bare, warm breasts as his chest presses against your back. His head presses against your shoulder as he breathes heavily against your neck. His tongue occasionally jutting out to lick stripes up your sensitive neck. Sucking gently on your skin, trying not to leave too many marks.

“Fuck, fuck…” Jisung curses breathily, and you try your best not to scream as he ruts into you as if it were the last time he’d ever have the chance to fuck you again. Your saliva coats the part of the hoodie that stayed in your mouth for you to bite onto. Your hands weakly grip the sink to try and hold you up, but your legs can barely hold your waist. “Oh… my god, babygirl.” Jisung sweetly moans into your ear.

Your mouth opens to let the hoodie fall out of your mouth, and you utter out, “Jisung… Jisung I can’t… oh, fuck… I can’t stand.” Jisung is quick to fix the situation by turning you around so that you’re sitting on the sink, legs thrown over his shoulder and your back and head leaning against the mirror as he fucks himself into you. Jisung doesn’t hesitate to grip onto your neck, but careful not to let off air flow, just pressing his fingers on either side of your neck as he rams himself into you. Your hands creeped up to grip his wrist, which only seemed to make Jisung more and more confident.

He pressed his hand against your core, slowly down slightly to allow himself to focus on pressing his thumb against your extremely sensitive and extremely erect clit. The minute his thumb makes contact with your sensitive bud, waves of pleasure and chills run through you, and your eyes roll into the back of your head as your back arches up, your nails digging into Jisung’s arm.

“Oh my fucking god, Jisung!” You pitifully cry out, trying your very best to contain your moans so no lingering ears would hear. But, it was getting difficult with Jisung’s hard cock thrusting ever so quickly into you and his thumb pressing firmly against your clit as his hand wraps around your neck.

“Shh… babygirl, you don’t want anyone to hear, do you?” Jisung chuckles darkly as he looks down at you, no mercy in his eyes as you clench around him. Beyond sensitive to every touch. “I want you to cum on my cock, but be as quiet as you can, baby. Try and be quiet, but I want you to cum.” His hands move from your neck to your mouth, his middle and ring finger slipping between your lips and pressing down against your tongue.

The moment his hips start to stagger and his thumb pressed harder and harder against your sensitive clit, your hip bucks violently as you feel your climax approaching. Jisung doesn’t slow down when he feels your warm walls clench around him tightly. He speeds up despite how his hips falter and tense as his own orgasm edges up, you let out a series of high pitched moans, muffled by Jisung’s finger, and Jisung lets out a string of low groans against your neck. His thumb softens against your clit, rubbing small circles to ease you out of your climax.

Your stomach twitches as Jisung pulls out of you, his thumb finally coming off your clit to gently press against your abdomen as he eases out of you. You let out a sigh as let your body relax once Jisung’s no longer in you. His fingers pull out of your mouth to deal with the condom, and you catch your breath. Your hands clutching the sink as your legs stay limp on his shoulders, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“You made such a fucking mess. How horny were you?” Jisung teases as he eyes the cum and pure wetness still seeping out of you. You glare at him.

“Very. And it’s your fault.” You snap, and Jisung raises his hands in defense.

“Hey, guilty as charged,” Jisung chuckles and pulls up his underwear and pants, not bothering to tighten the belt around him before he reaches over to grab paper towels to help clean you up.

“Still. You were the one teasing me during the movie,” you utter out as Jisung wipes away the cum with the paper towel, “Couldn’t even focus on it. You seemed to enjoy every bit of it, though.”

“You know it,” Jisung jokingly winks at you, and you playfully hit his head.

Once he’s finished cleaning you, you get off the sink to pull up your underwear and your pants, sighing deeply at the sore feeling in your core. “Fuck… Jisung, you’re carrying me back to my dorm.” Jisung couldn’t argue with you, since you’d always have the upperhand, especially since Jisung knows he can become an animal when fucking you, and usually blames it on ‘not being able to hold back’.

“As you wish, princess,” he teasingly calls you, and you glare at him as he buckles his belt before turning his back to you and crouching down for you to get onto his back.

When you do, he unlocked the door and started heading out, both of you not really caring for the wandering eyes of people who were curious why two adults came walking out of the family bathroom. Luckily, Felix, Hyunjin and Christopher were all gone, since you couldn’t spot them anywhere. The movie theatre was in the center of a mall, so you had suspected they were somewhere, roaming the stores of the mall.

“I swear, I’m going to have arms bigger than Changbin’s at some point. Having to carry you everywhere,” Jisung complains, and you groan.

“It’s not my fault all you do is go rough,” you counter, and you can see Jisung roll his eyes, “Maybe if you were a bit more gentle you wouldn’t have to carry me. But, hey, you need the workout.”

“Do you not like it rough?” Jisung teases.

“I never said that,” you mutter, and Jisung laughs triumphantly.

At first, things were a bit awkward between the two of you, but that was to be expected. It wasn’t until Jisung was knocking on your dorm room door at three in the morning and railed you while your roommate was out grabbing groceries (at three in the morning? You didn’t know why, either.) because he had just gotten into a fight with one of his friends and “needed to let off steam”. After that, everything even related to the benefits you both have turned into a normal thing, and you both seemed to get even closer with each other. You both could talk about information that would be considered weird between normal friends, but since you’ve both seen each other completely nude over a dozen times, it wasn’t as weird anymore.

“But I don’t just like it rough, you know? If it’s intimate and slow, then I don’t care,” you sighed, resting your chin comfortably on his shoulder. Jisung doesn’t respond. In fact, he frowns at you. Why? You had no clue. All the more, it was a silent walk back to the dorm buildings. Jisung dropped you off at your dorm, and your roommate, a geeky, yet strange, girl named Jeo Jeongja thanked Jisung for taking you home.

“And, by the way, (Y/N),” Jisung said before leaving, and you raise a brow as you climb up onto your bed, “I expect you to meet me at the D.R. tomorrow night. Jeongin’s gonna be outta town for the weekend.” Jisung winks at you, and your breath catches in your throat.

D.R. was your secret word for ‘dorm room’. Since saying directly, especially in front of others, that you’re going over to a boy’s dorm room when they’re roommates going to be out of town is suspicious to say the least, you both decided to come up with that.

“Are you alright with that?” Jisung asks, his tone lacing with a delicate worry.

“Definitely,” you shoot him a playful smile.

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow. See ya, Jeongja,” Jisung waves at Jeongja, who gave him a subtle wave back, not really interested or immersed in the short lived conversation you and Jisung were having. And with that, Jisung left, closing the door behind him.

There’s a subtle silence between you and Jeongja. You both might be roommates, but you could never really consider her a friend. The most you two talk to each other is when you help each other study with whatever topic. Once Jisung leaves, Jeongja sits up on her bed and stares at you with a playful smile.

“Oh my god, I don’t get how you’re not crushing on him” Jeongja giggles.

“He’s my best friend,” you sigh, laying down on your pillows to try and soothe the ache in your gut from your last session with Jisung, “I could never picture myself with him, you know. If you want him, have at it. But, be warned, he is a player.”

“Oh. I know that much,” Jeongja laughs shortly. You should’ve known, since Jeongja seemed to have ears all around the school. Every rumor eventually gets to her, and through your ears, whether you want to hear about it or not, “I heard he’s been fucking with most of the popular girls.”

“Oh, really now?” your brows raise. For some reason, it sparks an angry flame in you. Sure, you might not be in love with him, but the fact that you both have an intimate relationship makes you jealous when you hear that he’s been with other girls, but you try not to show it as much.

Jeongja shrugs a shoulder, “Just what’s been going around. I only report what I hear. And, apparently, Jisung knows all of the rumors. He just hasn’t said anything about it.”

“Well, he hasn’t talked to me about it,” you sigh, taking your phone out of your pocket, debating whether or not to talk to Jisung about what you're hearing. After a few brief moments of staring at your locked phone, you decide against it and let it fall onto your stomach. “Do you mind keeping me updated on this shit?”

“Why? Is someone jealous?” Jeongja wiggles her shoulders and brows at you, smirking.

“Hell no,” you groan, your head falling back, and you rub your eyes. Exhaustion crashing over you, “I’m going to bed, Jeongja. Do whatever you want, but don’t turn the lights back on.” You get up briefly to shut the lights off before climbing back under your blankets, slipping off your bra.

“But, it’s only nine!”

“I don’t give a shit. I’m tired.”

But, a part of you wasn’t. A part of you was beyond eager for what Jisung had in mind for tomorrow. Your aching core began to throb at the thoughts.

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on-maars · 2 years

Text

Until My Dying Breath

For @no-moremusic cause your tags are always the best thing

Read it on AO3

The Diaz household is quiet. Quieter than usual, that is. There’s no background noise coming from one of Christopher’s cartoons on TV, no music Eddie sometimes play in the living-room when the list of chores he still has to do around the house gets so big he’s afraid he’ll never see the end of it, no weird true crime podcasts Buck insists on listening in the kitchen while he’s cooking and while – it goes without saying – Christopher’s not there to hear the most sordid details of the story.

Nothing of the sort. The house is silent. The only things Eddie can hear is the soft flow of water, the rubbing of the sponge against the glasses he’s washing, and the sound of the plates clinking against each other as Buck places them back into the cabinet.

Just a normal Sunday afternoon, then. Except that it’s not. Not entirely, at least.

But it should be – Eddie thinks. It should be normal. And he thinks that maybe if he focuses on the dirty dishes piling up in the sink hard enough, then eventually the other things he has in mind will go away. He thinks that maybe if he stares into the distance long enough then an answer might magically appear in front of him.

But he’s wasting his time. He knows it. Because what would have been a normal Sunday afternoon a few months ago, hell maybe even a few weeks ago, is now filled with a sense of uncertainty and heaviness no-one dares to question. Not Eddie, by fear of facing questions he’s not ready to answer yet. And certainly not Buck, who’s probably wondering if there’s even room left for him in that space. In that house. Eddie hates himself for it.

But still, he waits, keeping his head down, scrubbing the plates with the sponge and passing them to Buck.

That, until his best-friend speaks these five words:

“I broke up with Taylor.”

Eddie stops scrubbing, and looks up at his best-friend with a frown. “Why? I thought you liked her.”

“I did.” Buck answers. “But she wasn’t what I wanted.” He adds. Eddie takes a sharp intake of breath. “It couldn’t have worked out.”

“Okay.” Eddie answers. He wishes he could say more, but the words just don’t come out. And that’s not even the worst part. No. The worst part is hearing his best-friend sigh next to him, like he’s resigned, like he’s giving up on him.

Eddie lets out a shaky breath and scrubs the plate harder, in the hope that it stops his hands from trembling. And for a few minutes, it works. Eddie stays focused on the task at hand and Buck puts the dishes away, knowing his way through the kitchen like it’s his own. Eddie tries not to think about that for too long.

“You know I used to think we were going somewhere, you and I.”

And this is too much. The implication. The consequences this conversation could have, Eddie’s not ready to deal with them. He’s not sure he ever will be. But this is Buck we’re talking about and he’s been waiting for so long, too long. Eddie closes his eyes, his tongue feels heavy in his mouth.

He wants to ask – no, beg – Buck to not go there, but how can he? He’s got no right to ask him to stay silent, again. Not after all this time. Not after the shooting. Not after everything that happened in between.

Buck deserves someone who can give him a straight answer, he deserves someone who’s not scared shitless of intimacy and Eddie wants. He wants . But it’s like he’s standing on the edge of a cliff with his feet hanging over and he can’t jump. He can’t jump.

“I thought-” Buck adds but lets out a small laugh, looking down at his hands. “It doesn’t matter what I thought.”

It does – Eddie thinks. It fucking does.

“Buck.” He says instead and that’s enough to leave him breathless.

“I know.” His best-friend says, his voice low, like he’s defeated. Eddie hates it. “I know.” He repeats.

“I just-” Eddie tries. He tries, but his throat is so tight he’s afraid he might choke. “I-”

His hands drops the plate in the sink and starts holding the edge of the kitchen counter so tight his knuckles go white, while his left hand grips his own tee-shirt, just above his heart. Because that’s what it’s all about in the end. His heart.

“Eddie.” Buck says, his voice soft. “Eds. We’re okay. Or we will be. I promise, alright?” He asks and Eddie just nods. He nods frantically and doesn’t trust himself to speak. “But I- It’s not something I can fake anymore.” Buck adds and there’s so much guilt in his voice, like he can’t quite believe what he says himself, like he’s a terrible friend for going there, like it’s forbidden territory. And it shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be.

“I can’t do it anymore.” Buck eventually adds. “I can’t pretend that loving you, loving Chris, is not the easiest thing in the world. Because it is. And lately I’ve been wanting to shout it from the rooftops.”

And Eddie can’t believe it, can’t believe the words that are coming out of his best-friend’s mouth, can’t believe a person would be willing to love him so freely, so openly. It’s too much. He’s too much.

“And I’m not saying that- I’m not saying that you’re easy. Because god damn it Eddie you’re not. You’re stubborn as hell. You never open up. You don’t know how to accept compliments and you’re pouring the milk before the cereals, which – quite frankly – might be the most insane thing you taught your son.” He says, and Eddie snorts, letting out a small laugh as a few tears roll down his cheeks.

“And sometimes all I want to do is scream at you and beg you to let me in but you’ll still always be the easiest guy to love, Eddie.” He adds. “So here.” He finishes, letting go of the dish towel. “It’s out there. And I’m- I think I’m gonna go now.”

“Evan-”

“Eddie. It’s okay.” Buck says with a soft smile. “We’re fine. I know you don’t- At least, not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Either way, it’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. But I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore.”

Buck walks away. He leaves the kitchen, Eddie follows him like a ghost. He leans against the wall and watches him put his shoes on, slip on his coat and grab his keys still on the coffee table. And he wants to speak out. He wants to ask him to stay. He wants to tell him he’s trying, tell him he’s just not ready yet. He just doesn’t know how.

So instead, he just says:

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Buck asks with a sad smile.

For everything. For not speaking about the shooting. For not opening up. For not telling you you’re important. For not showing up. For not asking you to stay.

I’m sorry it had to be me.

I’m sorry you love me.

“I don’t know.” He says.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Eddie.”

---

He doesn’t – in fact – see him the next day. Or the day after that, either.

They don’t text. They don’t talk. They only see each other at work. And even then it feels like a thousand miles separate them. They don’t work together. He stays with Hen and Buck is paired up with Ravi. After all they work well together and with Chimney gone, it only makes sense.

And Eddie can see the concerned looks the other send his way, he can hear the hushed words and quiet murmurs around him.

He catches Buck glancing at him too, when he thinks Eddie is not looking. But Eddie always does.

He just does it from afar.

“Why is Buck never around anymore?” Chris asks him one day just before his bedtime. He’s seated on his bed, a book in his hands. A book Buck bought for him a few months ago.

“He’s just- He’s just busy, mijo.” Eddie says. And his son is a lot of things but dumb isn’t one of them. He sees right through him.

“You’re lying.” Chris says. “He always says he’s never too busy for me. Never too busy for us. So something happened. Otherwise he would have been here Friday for the movie night. He’d never miss it. And if he does, he warns me first.” He adds, frowning in confusion. “What happened? I miss him.”

“It’s complicated buddy.” Eddie answers.

“It’s not. You just don’t want to talk about it. But Buck is my friend and if something happened between you two, I deserve to know what it is.” His son insists. And what can Eddie say to that? There’s nothing to say. His son’s right. “Is it why you’ve been sad? Did Buck make you sad?”

“No.” Eddie rushes himself to say. “No, I-” He marks a pause, and adds: “It’s the other way around, Chris. I made him sad. I’m sorry.” He admits, running his hand through his son’s curls.

“What did you do?”

Nothing – Eddie thinks. A lot of things.

Thankfully, his son beats him to it.

“You need to fix it.” He says, looking at him with a serious expression on his face. A pained expression, too. And Eddie’s been so far in over his head he hasn’t realized he wasn’t only hurting himself. Or Buck. He was hurting his son, too. And he can’t let that happen. Not now. Not ever.

“I will.” He nods.

“You promise?”

“I promise.” Eddie kisses him on the forehead. “I’ll fix it.”

Eddie takes the book from Christopher’s hand and places it on his bedside table, his heart fluttering in his chest as he reads the few words – in Buck’s handwriting – adorning the first page.

To Superman. Cause we can never know too much about Egyptian Pyramids.

Your dad made me promise to wait for your birthday but I was too excited for you to read it.

Hide it until then.

And don’t worry kid, you’ll get another one.

Your best-friend, Buck.

A soft smile stretches his lips and he lets out a small laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. He still remembers that conversation. He remembers that day. And the words they share on the couch, too distracted to follow the movie playing on TV.

“If Christopher’s your best friend, what does that make me?”

“It makes you something else.” Buck had answered.

Eddie hadn’t thought anything of it at the time. It was a harmless conversation. A harmless conversation between two friends.

But was it, really?

“Dad?” Christopher’s voice brings him back to reality. “Did Buck tell you he was in love with you?” He asks, like he’s uncertain, like he’s scared Eddie’s going to get mad. And Eddie doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know where to start and he doesn’t know how his own son managed to outsmart him like that and see the situation for what it really is. But Chris doesn’t stop there:

“Is that why he’s not around anymore? Because you rejected him?” He asks, his voice full of accusation.

“I didn’t-” Eddie starts but marks a pause, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. But this time, he doesn’t stay quiet. This time, he pushes through the fear, pushes through the blind panic that seizes him. Because he owes it to his son to be honest. He owes it to him to open up, and not repeat his father’s mistakes, not perpetuate this old, outdated mentality. “I didn’t reject him, buddy. How do you even know he was in l-”

“He told me.” Christopher cuts him off. “A few weeks ago. On the phone.”

“You called him?” Eddie asks, incredulously.

“Yeah.” His son nods. “I missed him. He only told me because I asked him, though.” He adds. “I already knew.”

“Of course you did.” Eddie says, smiling, and shaking his head in disbelief. But he doesn’t really know why it comes as such a surprise to him. After all, his son has always been smarter than him, more observant, more attentive.

“Everyone knew, dad.” He answers, shrugging his shoulders like it’s some sort of widely accepted truth among the 118. “And now you do too.” He adds.

Now I do too – Eddie repeats to himself, quietly. Now I do too.

How come I haven’t known before?

“Are you in love with him too?” Christopher blurts out.

“I- I don’t know kiddo.” He admits.

Am I?

“I think you are.” Christopher answers, quietly. “And I think that’s why you’re sad.” He adds. “Because you don’t know it yet. Or maybe you’re just scared.” He says, shrugging his shoulders, like he doesn’t quite understand it himself. “So you pretend it isn’t there.”

“What- what makes you think I am, Chris?” Eddie asks. “In love with Buck, that is?”

“Carla once told me that people often marry their best-friend.” Christopher answers. “And you said it yourself, once. That mom was your best-friend.” He says. “But Buck’s your best-friend, now. You keep saying that. Like it can’t mean something more. But maybe it can, dad? He makes you smile. All the time. And he makes you laugh too. A lot. He’s always there for us. And you look at him the same way you used to look at mom. You don’t look at anyone that way, dad. Only him. And me. But that’s because I’m your son. And Buck – well – maybe that’s because-”

“Maybe that’s because I love him too.” Eddie finishes for his son, his eyes wide open. And he can’t believe – out of all the people surrounding him – his son is the one who makes him see reason.

“You do.” Chris smiles at him, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “We can be two at making you happy, you know? I know I do but I’m just a kid. It’s okay if you need someone else. And if that someone else is Buck, then you need to tell him.” He adds. “Now.”

“Now?”

“Now!” Chris lets out a laugh. “Before he finds someone else!”

“We can’t let that happen, right?”

“Nu-uh.” His son agrees, nodding his head. “He belongs with us. We’re his family. So you better tell him soon before it’s too late.” His son answers, letting his head fall on his pillow, his eyes closed.

A small smile stretches Eddie’s lips as he kisses his son on his forehead one last time before leaving the room quietly. He then takes his phone out of his jean’s pocket. He unlocks it and lets his thumb hovers Buck’s name. Does he still have the right to contact him at 10 in the evening? After everything he put him through? Surely, he doesn’t. He should wait. Wait until tomorrow, or maybe the day after. But the thing he’s carrying is too big. It’s too big and it’s too much and Eddie doesn’t know how Buck managed to keep something so huge to himself for all these months. All these years.

Eddie texts him anyway.

Are you busy? And it shouldn’t surprise him, really, when Buck’s answer pops up just a few seconds later.

Never for you two – it says, and Eddie would straight up lie if he’d say reading these few words does nothing to him. Because it does. It fills him with so much love he’s afraid his heart is going to burst out of his chest. And he’s aware of how he sounds. He sounds cheesy and lame and that would probably get him a thousand teasing remarks from his sisters but in that moment, he doesn’t find it in himself to care.

Are you okay? Is Chris okay?

We’re fine. Eddie texts. We just miss you.

I miss you. He adds after a few seconds. Can you come over?

I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten.

He sits on the couch and lets his eyes wander around the chaos around him. The room is a mess. Lego bricks are scattered on the carpet, some paperwork collect dust on the coffee table and a pile of laundry is still outspread on the couch, waiting to be folded. Buck doesn’t care, won’t care, Eddie knows it. He’s been there a hundredth times before and he never complained. Didn’t complain about the muffins situation after he broke up with Ana, didn’t complain about the beer spilling incident on the carpet and didn’t complain about the time the entire living-room turned into a real Lego battleground.

On the contrary. He sees it and he makes it his. And then it’s not only Eddie’s mess anymore. It’s their mess.

There’s a knock on the door. Eddie stands up but Buck’s already inside, taking his shoes off, dropping his wallet and his keys on the table like he did a thousand times before, and that’s when it hits Eddie:

“You never knock.” He says. Because it’s true. He never does. Never asks for permission. Never worries to show up unannounced. Never wonders if he’s intruding. And what’s even worse is that Eddie never asks. Never asks him to back off. Never asks him to take a step back. Never kept him far.

“Yeah I- I just figured that maybe- maybe this time was different.”

“It isn’t.” Eddie rushes to say. How can it be? How can it be when Buck is standing in front of him, bed hair, curls flying in every direction, sleepy eyes, and still dressed in his pajama like he ran into the night to get to them without taking the time to wake up first.

“Okay then.” Buck says, smiling softly at him.

“Do you want some b-”

“Bucky!!” Christopher exclaims, storming in the living-room just to be welcomed by Buck’s arms lifting him up from the ground and holding him close. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too Superman but isn’t it way past your bedtime buddy?” He asks, his eyes fixed on Eddie.

“I guess I can make an amendment.” He answers with a smile. “But only because Buck is here, alright? And only fifteen minutes. No more. Deal?”

“Deal!”

Christopher guides Buck towards his room, gesturing frantically as he tells him about his day at school and the science experiment they did with that “cool new teacher”. Buck smiles widely, nodding the whole time, asking questions, and Eddie watches them as they disappear in the next room.

But Eddie’s alone in the living-room now and he doesn’t know what to do. Should he join them? Should he stay here and let them have a quiet moment? Should he say something? Or should he stay quiet? His brain is going a thousand miles an hour and he wishes he could just turn it off.

He goes in the kitchen. Stands in front of the sink and starts washing the dishes that have been piling up in the last few days. A few minutes later, Buck joins him and takes a towel. And Eddie thinks it’s funny, how all the serious talks and difficult conversations he’s had these past few months always seemed to have arisen in his kitchen. He guesses there’s something comforting, to be able to focus on a specific task while speaking these words. He doesn’t have to look at the other person in the eye, doesn’t need to wonder what to do with his hands. It gives him more time to think, to look for the right words.

“Chris is asleep?” He asks, quietly.

“Out like a light.” Buck answers. “But he did have enough energy to trap me into reading him another chapter.”

“Trap you, really?” Eddie raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. “I’m sure you were a willing participant.”

“I mean, yeah.” Buck smiles sheepishly. “How can you not be?”

“You’re aware he has you in his pocket, right? Makes me look like the bad parent.” These words escape his lips before he has the chance to stop them and Eddie’s hand grips the plate a little tighter.

“Well that’s what I’m here for.” Buck shrugs his shoulders. “I’m like the cool uncle.”

“What if I told you you could be more?” Eddie asks, and his voice is so quiet he’s afraid Buck might not have heard him. But then he can hear the sharp intake of breath coming from his best-friend’s side side and he knows the message got across, loud and clear.

“More to who, Eddie?” Buck counters, a hint of impatience in his voice. “To you or to Chris?”

“Both?” Eddie’s voice is strangled in his throat.

“Is that a question?”

“No.” Eddie rushes to say. “No.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “It’s not a question. It’s- it’s me telling you that I’m all in. This family is yours. If you want it.” He adds, and he’s surprised to hear how steady, how determined his voice is. He glances curiously to the side, only to find a soft smile and gentle eyes already staring back at him.

“Of course I want it, Eds.” Buck answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Alright then.” Eddie smiles softly at him. “It’s yours.” He adds. “It’s always been yours. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it.”

“It’s alright.” Buck’s voice is as quiet as his.

“It’s not. You deserved a straight answer and I’m sorry I couldn’t g-”

“Ah” Buck starts, and his eyes light up the same way they do when he’s about to say something incredibly dumb, like he’s laughing at his own joke before it’s even there. And Eddie – Well Eddie should have seen it coming from miles away.

“Don’t say i-”

“Maybe not too straight, though.”

“God damn it, Buckley.” He rolls his eyes and the only thing he really wants is to kiss that stupid smile off his best-friend’s face. So that’s exactly what he does. He lets go of the plate he’s holding and a small nod from Buck is all he needs to rush forward and crash their lips together. He’s aware that he must be leaving a mix of water and soap and foam all over Buck’s hair but this one doesn’t seem to care.

Quite the contrary. Buck’s hands find their way on his thighs and lift him up, manhandling him until Eddie’s seated on the kitchen counter. “Oh my god.” Eddie breathes out against his lips, earning a small laugh from Buck who only kisses him harder, putting everything he has in it.

“I can’t believe I was unconscious the first time you manhandled me like that.” Eddie manages to say in between two kisses. Buck’s mouth hovers above his neck for a few seconds until he takes a step back, watching Eddie with a look of complete, utter bewilderment on his face.

“Eddie tell me you didn’t just refer to the shooting for the first time in months while we’re in the middle of making out in your kitchen?” Buck’s pupils are dilated and his hair is a mess, his lips red from all the kissing and he’s a goddamn smoke-show and Eddie’s brain just short-circuits.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He blurts out.

“Eddie!” Buck exclaims, looking offended, but Eddie can already see his cheeks turn red. “Don’t try and compliment your way out of that conversation cause it’s not gonna work, alright? Not this time.” And as much as Eddie wants to do just that, Buck’s eyes are now full of concern and worry, and he knows he needs to address this now.

“I know.” Eddie’s face softens. “And I promise you we’re gonna talk about it. Tomorrow if you want. Just not-”

“Just not tonight?” Buck finishes for him.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” Buck answers, his hand still on the back of Eddie’s neck. “Tomorrow’s fine.” He says, his voice quieter. “You’re lucky I love you, though.” He adds, and moves his hand from his neck to his right cheek, letting his thumb skim the skin just under his right eye. Eddie gives him a warm smile and only then Buck moves forward, slowly, to press their lips together a second time. More gentle, this time.

“I love you too.” Eddie says, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“We both do.” Eddie tells him, cradling his cheeks with his hands. “Until my dying breath, Buckley.”

#buddie #buck x eddie #911 #9-1-1 #buddie fic #my writing #911 fic

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thebadboyfanclub · 3 years

Text

She Will Learn (Rio x Reader)

Look I will let y’all in on a little secret, the way this account is going to work is by me seeing your requests, making a mental note to finish them and then getting an idea for another imagine that wasn’t requested but can’t move on until I write it so.... Enjoy!

P.S I chose Greece cause I am from there and I never see us anywhere

(Y/n) had met Rio when she was about to graduate college, a business major that was striving for being the first millionaire in her family. She came from a lower middle class first generation immigrant from Greece, her parents were troopers for successfully raising her and her siblings, they never had things to spare yet they had enough to be respectful.

He saw her at a restaurant, completely overdressed and accessorized like she was dining in France, however she somehow made it look like she didn’t think about what she was going to wear, like this was her natural way of dressing, her nails were done and he noticed how... soft her hands looked.

What intrigued him was that she was extremely kind to everyone, she smiled brightly at the waiters and she would often reach over to her friends for a touch of encouragement of just a simple caress, she exuded confidence that made you feel like you would never dare to touch her, still she carried herself with elegance and in a graceful manner.

“Excuse me, can you tell me who are the girls at the table over there?”

“Oh they haven’t been here before but I can tell you they are here to celebrate for the girl in the red dress, it’s her birthday”

“Oh is it? Send them a bottle of champagne please”

“Right away Sir”

He was never the flashy type of guy, he never cared for stuff that showed his status or economic achievements, people that had money knew to never flaunt it carelessly. When it came to her, he felt the need to show off, to woo her and catch her eye, she had this sense of luxury, she looked like she took care of herself way too much to let men not treat her anything less than that.

He watched her face switch into surprise when the waiter came with the bottle of champagne, a few seconds after that her gaze went to him, as the waiter pointed towards him and then proceeded to open the bottle of bubbly.

She had noticed him when she entered for a few moments, although she decided that since it was her big night she wouldn’t waste time gawking at good looking men, she had saved money for months to be able to afford the finest for her big day, every year she wanted her birthday to be like the life she wanted. She send him a smile as her hand went to her heart to show gratitude for the gift.

Except that didn’t feel like enough, she felt like she could push it a bit more, try her luck just a bit, she looked too good to worry about a man turning her down, he would have to be mad or blind to do so.

She walked to him with the glass of champagne in her hand, giving him the chance to take her in. Her legs were exposed as the dress went to the middle of her thigs, they shined and looked so smooth making him wonder how good would it feel to touch them. She had a figure of a dream, as her hips swayed with every step, her posture was proud and she walked like a supermodel, if he didn’t know the owner he would have thought she was the one that had not just the restaurant, the entire block.

“I don’t think we’ve met, I’m (y/n), I wanted to thank you for the champagne, you really didn’t have to”

“I wanted to darling, I’m Christopher but people call me Rio, how wonderful to meet you”

He said, taking her delicate hand in his and pressing a light kiss on soft skin. He could smell the lotion of vanilla she had chosen to moisturize her skin, settle yet unforgettable. His raspy voice made her flustered, trying to mask it with a smirk and confidence, he was intriguing to her, the cool, calm and collected exterior that suited him so much.

“I wish I could stay and talk but I don’t like leaving my friends by themselves”

“I understand darling, we’ll be in touch”

It had been years since then, he had managed to not only stay in touch with you but make her the queen of his life. She was an asset that he so desperately needed, he trusted her with his life and knew she had the best intentions for him, her loyalty was iron made, her degree came in handy when he needed to handle business in a discreet manner, she was the master mind behind a lot of his negotiations, her brilliance on playing the trophy wife that didn’t know anything in front of others was the secret behind his success.

She is his secret weapon, so secret that no one knew she even existed, the few that did didn’t even know her name and the people that knew were the most trusted ones that worked with Rio for years, she liked to be under wraps, walking in and out of the building with the men Rio had hire to protect her and the rookies wondered who was she, he only called her with pet names when others were around but they could only address her as “Miss”, she was the miss of the mister and his most trusted soldier.

Despite that, (y/n) was no fool. She had broken up with Rio and called of the engagement several times, making Rio go wild every time. She wasn’t unreasonable, Rio was out of line a lot of the times, especially when Beth came in the picture, his men feared her just as much as him, maybe even more, so when she found out they had done such major damage multiple times but still took them back in, she would pack her stuff and leave without warning, leaving her ring and a note that wrote “goodbye” behind. That’s when he would hook up with Beth, make up for the loss of his queen, yet when he had manage to convince her to come back and buy her a new ring every time, he felt like he was on top of the world.

“Be honest with me Mick, who did this to him?”

“Everything points in one target, Beth”

“Of course. Thank you Mick, I got him”

She stood by him throughout his healing process, waited patiently until he was back on her feet, took care of his bullet wounds and had many sleepless nights to make sure he was alright. She was his wife to be after all, even kept in contact with Rhea and Marcus, made sure they were alright and taken care of in any way, shape or form.

“Are you ready mama?”

“Almost, can you help me with the necklace”

They were there when Rhea got the call from Beth, acting like there friends even though she caused Rios life and invited her for drinks. Rio knew (y/n) was boiling, wanted to take revenge for what Beth had caused and this time he understood, so they got dressed up to meet her instead of Rhea.

As Rio approached and took the necklace in his hands he saw it was the necklace he bought her for their one year anniversary, her birth stone surrounded with diamonds. When (y/n) let her hair down he got a whiff of her scent, still making him feel weak in the knees, he got closer to her and wrapped his one arm around her, his lips found the nape of her neck and left light kisses. She closed her eyes for a second to enjoy the feeling of warmth and lust he brought her.

“You look beautiful princess”

“It’s my first time meeting her isn’t it?”

“What have you planned gorgeous?”

“That’s for me to know and for her to find out, let’s go daddy”

She knew exactly who she was. Seeing the back of her head made her want to pull out her gun and blast her right then and there, that wouldn’t be classy now wouldn’t it? She approached the clueless woman and sat on her left side, leaving the right seat empty for Rio to join later.

“Can I get dirty martini please? Thank you dear”

She instructed the bartender before taking off the faux black fur coat to reveal a Split Floor-Length Sleeveless Spaghetti Strap Pullover black dress. The first thing Beth noticed about the young woman that sat next to her was the big diamond ring that she wore on her ring finger, mentally thinking of what that girl had done to earn it

‘she probably hasn’t worked a day in her life’ she thought, making herself feel a little bit better, she had to admit that she looked really pretty, the jewelry she had on complimented her skin tone and the dress looked like it was custom made. (Y/n) waited for her drink to arrive before she looked at Beth and got ready to reveal her identity.

“You must be Beth, I don’t believe we’ve officially met. I’m (y/n)”

Beth looked at her puzzled. How did the young woman that looked like she was some old mans pretty young thing to show off knew her. (Y/n) was smiling as she took a sip of her cocktail, knowing damn well that Beth had already made up her mind about what type of woman (y/n) was and completely missing the purpose of this meeting.

“How do you know my name”

“Oh I know everything about you, where you live, the names of your children, your sister Annie and your friend Ruby. Rio has told me all about you”

“Rio? How-”

“I know he doesn’t talk about it, I like to be invisible to the public eye... his secret weapon as some would say. I also know you are waiting for Rhea”

“She ain’t comin”

Beth heard Rio’s voice and her eyes went wide with fear. (Y/n) let out a soft giggle and took one more sip of her drink as Beth turned to look at him like she had seen a ghost, judging by how pale she had gotten she was more of that vibe than he was.

“Excuse me, can we get a glass of neat whiskey for the gentleman? Thank you so much”

(Y/n) ordered once more before hoping off her chair and joining Rio. He snaked his arm around her and brought her as close to him as he could before placing a kiss on her cheek.

“How you feeling mama?”

“Oh I was just having a chat with Beth”

“A-are y-you”

“His fiancé? Yes, we are planning on getting married on my homeland during the summer, aren’t we daddy?”

(Y/n) started rubbing Rios back as she smiled at him, she was super excited for her wedding, he had given her complete control to do whatever she wanted, it was her big day and he knew better than to object to anything.

“Oh we have to show her something”

Rio reached for his pocket and (Y/n) looked over at Beth who was in the verge of a mental breakdown. Rio pulled out his three bullets that the doctor had pulled out from his body, (y/n) wanted to throw them away but he insisted in keeping them, reminding him how he cheated death.

“Lung, spline, shoulder”

He put each one down in front of her. Beth had terrible aim and for once (y/n) was thankful that one of their rookies missed the shots. Beth stayed silent, taking in all the information, not only was he alive he also had a woman he was planning to marry, calling him “daddy” right in her face, she looked like she was straight out of a magazine and even thought she was kind to her that terrified her more, her entire life was crumbling in front of her.

“Now I think you understand that you are in a bit of a jam, Christopher has agreed that I should decide your punishment since he wanted to kill you-”

“Don’t, do that. I’m sorry babydoll, she will learn”

Beth had tried to leave in the middle of (y/n)’s sentence, making Rio grab Beth by the arm and restrain her from doing so. (Y/n) stayed stoic and just watched the scene unravel, she knew Rio would never allow anyone to disrespect her. As Beth sat back down Rio smiled (y/n) before taking her hand once more and placing a kiss on her knuckles. (Y/n) reached for his face and caressed his cheek with her free hand making Beth sick to her stomach, he had never looked at her like that, with such admiration and love.

“It’s alright, I will let it pass this one time”

“Go on mama”

“I feel like it would be too easy to kill you, such an easy way out. So now you will work for me”

“What?”

Beth felt her stomach twist at the statement. Working with (y/n), having to do daily tasks for her, a woman she had no idea even existed an hour ago, now she had work under her and take orders from her directly, for a second she thought that death would be better. (Y/n) left Rio’s side for a second and took Beth by the shoulders, standing right behind her, Beth’s eyes fell on her shinny ring, that only felt like someone was rubbing salt over her wound, he had probably spend a fortune for it. (Y/n) leaned closer to Beth getting next to her ear and causing goosebumps on Beth’s body.

“Think of it as an assistant or maybe help Rio with anything he needs but mostly you will be on call for anything I need. Since you wanted to outsmart Rio and spit where you eat, I need some help to plan the wedding and also take care of our business. What do you think darling?”

“I think it’s an excellent idea”

Rio was pleasantly surprised. (Y/n) was one of the most intelligent people he knew, bring Beth so close to her and making her work for their wedding even though she knew she had slept with him was a very cruel and mentally humiliating way to punish her.

She truly was one of the greatest choices he had ever done, no one could compete with her, she held such power that made Rio feel like he could not only trust her but also submit to her, let her take the wheel and not having to worry about anything going wrong. As he watched her look over at Beth there was no comparison, (y/n) had such way of carrying herself, that je ne sais quoi as some would say, she was the embodiment of female divine energy.

Rio knew that her leaving him all these times was a game of push and pull, making him work for her and a mental slap in the face, yet every time he ran to her like an obedient dog and begged for her to come back and take her spot as his queen in the palace, promised her and gave her everything she wished for, every ring was bigger and better than the one before. It wasn’t like he did it because she wanted it, he was the one that wanted to spoil her, give her everything under the sun, she deserved everything and he was for sure not going to hold back for his sweet little princess.

“And then when all of that is done... Rio can take care of you, I feel like it would bring bad luck to our household if we killed someone before the wedding”

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sweet-sammy-kisses · 3 years

Text

Make my Heart a Better Place

Written for @badthingshappenbingo prompt victim blaming Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Eddie x Buck Rating: M Warnings: past rape, deal with the therapist, anti Ana, tackling the belief that men can’t be victims and protective Eddie and Fire Fam Word Count: 2,964 Summary: Eddie learns about the therapist and what she did to Buck as Buck finally opens up about what has happened to him. Eddie realizes who his heart longs for as he helps Buck confront and deal with his past. You can read it on AO3

It was the kind of story that would never be first picked. It would be shuffled around until it was placed at the bottom left to be forgotten. After all, men can't be raped. Men can't be victims of abuse. Men are supposed to be stronger than a woman. So there was no way a woman could rape or abuse a man.

Taylor Kelly knew different.

Taylor had seen firsthand how horrible women can treat men. How they can use "they'll never believe you" and "what kind of man can't protect himself or his kids from his wife?" Toxic way of thinking. Women were barely believed when they came forward men were even less so.

But Taylor refused to let this story fall through the cracks. A woman, a woman therapist had used her position of power to sexually assault her male clients, men in valuable places, who were seeking help instead had new trauma to deal with. No Taylor would do everything in her power to expose this woman and see that those she hurt stories got told and hopefully gave them some closure.

+******+

"Men can't be raped."

Buck froze at Ana's comment and he wasn't the only one so did Taylor who had been talking about the story she was working on, a story she was very passionate about. The only reason Taylor was there was because Buck couldn't stand being the third wheel on the outing with Eddie and Ana. It originally was just supposed to be him and Eddie but then Ana invited herself along and Taylor being the good friend she is agreed to come as well.

Buck couldn't look at Eddie he was afraid of what he might see. He knew that Eddie didn't agree with Ana, they had seen too much in their line of work to know that stigma wasn't true but Eddie was a different man when around Ana, he went out his way to agree with her, to make her happy. Buck didn't know if it would be Eddie answering or Ana Edmundo.

"Edmundo?" Ana's voice broke through the haze that Eddie had found himself in since Ana uttered those words. "Don't you agree with me?" She continued looking at him expectedly to agree with her.

Eddie knew he didn't, he didn't agree with her and he was coming to see that there were a lot of things that he didn't agree with her. He certainly didn't agree with her comments about Christopher needing limits and her slight hints that he needed to start setting limits for his son. He was tired of being her Edmundo. "Ana I do believe that men can be victims of rape and abuse from women. But because of the stigma around such crimes, how people look at men and see that they can't be abused or rape it is harder for them to come forward for they know that there is a smaller chance of them being not only believed but mocked and made fun of for allowing themselves to be victims in the first place."

Buck felt the heaviness in his chest unravel as his Eddie spoke up, disagreeing with Ana's belief.

"Very well said, Eddie. I'm impressed." Taylor teased trying to ease the tension in the room even though she wanted nothing more than to rip into Ana for her misogyny beliefs.

A scoff escaped Ana, she couldn't believe that Edmundo would think that way. Men couldn't be victims it just didn't happen.

"You have a very narrow-minded way of thinking." Buck's voice was soft as he began to speak.

"Excuse me?" Ana's eyes narrowed as she took in Buck's form, she hadn't gotten off to a very good start with the other man. She disliked how deeply woven he was in Edmundo and Christopher's lives, he was in her place and she needed to claim her spot. To make Buck see that she was the one meant to be in the co-parent spot with Edmundo after all she would someday be Christopher's stepmother and it was time Buck stepped back and allowed her to take her rightful spot in the Diaz's lives. It was when Edmundo told her that it was going to be just him and Buck tonight she had invited herself along, she wasn't blind she saw the way that her boyfriend looked at his best friend and he never looked at her that way. She wasn't about to let a prize like Edmundo Diaz slip through her fingers.

Buck looked a little uncomfortable at Ana's glare and he was starting to regret ever speaking up when he felt Eddie's hand settle on his thigh, squeezing it in support and lingering there. Looking up he saw Taylor flashing him a supportive smile.

Taking a deep breath Buck began again, "Eddie is right. Men can be victims. A woman in power can and have taken advantage of men in vulnerable positions. They can feel helpless after it has happened and it can haunt them long after the event. And your way of thinking is why men won't come forward because they are a man and they can't be raped. Women aren't innocent they can use their positions to get what they want. A woman boss could take advantage of her male employee make it clear to him that he has much more to lose than she does if he doesn't agree to her demands. A therapist could seduce one or more of her male patients into having sex with her, she could have sought them out and studied their online profiles and knew things about them before their first appointment and when they were at a vulnerable point in their life when they had come to them for help instead of offering them anything that they might need they decide to have sex with them instead. To force them to have sex with them, they might have not said no but they certainly didn't say yes. Then they feel guilty and so dirty afterwards that they don't tell anyone because they don't think anyone even those closest to them will believe them. They hide what they went through and the shame haunts them, lingering in their nightmares."

Something about the way Buck spoke and since he knew Buck so well and could read him Eddie knew at that moment his Buck had gone through something like this. He wasn't just speaking what he believed he was speaking from experience and it felt like a dagger had pierced through his heart that someone, anyone, could dare to hurt Buck like that. Buck who is pure sunshine was the last person who should have been put through that.

Taylor felt a wave of rage and sadness washing over her as she realized that Buck, Buck who had been the first person to give her a second chance was a victim. 'No, he is a survivor.' Had been hurt like that. She could see that Eddie had come to the same realization as she had and she almost snorted Eddie was already protective over Buck he was about to reach a whole new level. And whatever relationship Ana had hoped to have with Eddie was now nothing more than a pipe dream.

'This also just might be the push these two stubborn idiots need to finally see what is before them. I wonder if there is still time for me to get in on the bet?' Taylor wondered she also couldn't help but wonder how long it would take for the rest of the 118 to catch onto what had happened to Buck and part of Taylor hoped she was there for when Athena Grant - adopted mom to Buck - got her hands on the woman who had raped Buck.

Ana didn't look impressed or moved by Buck's passionate speech, "If a man can't fight off a woman or protect himself then he has no one to blame but himself." There was a challenge in her eyes as she looked at Buck, "Those kinds of men are weak and no doubt exhausting to be around."

"Your exhausting."

Eddie's words shouted at him in rage and hurt still carried the sting they did that faithful day and the room seemed to cave in around Buck. "I'm sorry, I need to go." Shoving back his chair Buck was on his feet and moving towards the door before Eddie and Taylor could even realize what was happening.

Smiling smugly to herself Ana took another sip of her drink as Eddie and Taylor returned to the table. She would make sure that Eddie saw that Buck was a bad influence in Christopher's life and it was best they cut him out of both their lives. 'After all, they have me now, why would they need Buck?'

+******+

"No. I don't want this." Phantom touches that Buck didn't want to follow him. He tried to run away from them but they wouldn't let him go. Lips on his skin burned like acid. Hands and fingers run across his skin left a trail of disgust. Buck wanted nothing more than to shove her off but he couldn't. He had never felt so helpless, so powerless. Not even when he had been pinned under the fire truck.

"No!" A scream tore itself free from Buck as he shot up in bed, his heart pounding loudly in his chest. He struggled to catch his breath as clawed at his skin, trying desperately to remove the feel of her off of him.

A chocked sob escaped Buck. He hated this, he hated this so much between the nightmares of being pinned under the truck, the tsunami and now he was tormented with images of that woman touching him. He couldn't understand it, he had wanted it. Hadn't he?

+*****+

Something was off with Buck. The man looked haunted and Eddie knew that he had been tormented by nightmares and it tore at his heart he wanted nothing more than to gather the man up into his arms and let him know that it would be alright. He wanted to kiss him and hold him in his arms and promise him that he is safe and sound and no one will ever hurt him again.

But he couldn't because Buck wasn't his and he had a girlfriend whose opinions had been the cause of him reliving a horrible event in his life. 'I need to talk with Ana. She isn't the woman I thought she is and I don't want her around Chris or Buck.' Eddie knew that he was going to have to break up with her. He had done some serious thinking and he realized that the only reason he was even dating Ana was that she was the perfect woman to bring home to meet his parents but she was the wrong kind of woman to be in his life or even think about raising Christopher with. 'Not that would happen, we have Buck.'

"Why does Buck look like someone kicked a puppy in front of him? And whose ass do I have to kick for making him look that way?" Hen asked as she arrived, her arms crossed over her chest and a deadly look in her eyes.

A frustrated sigh escaped Eddie's lips as he ran his hands through his hair, "Ana joined Buck and mine boy's night and said some things that opened my eyes to see what kind of woman she is behind those pretty smiles. It affected Buck."

Hen's eyes narrowed, "Just what did she say?" Hen hadn't been impressed with Ana and not just because she was coming between her two stubborn boys. There were her comments about what Christopher should and shouldn't be allowed to do, how she refuses to respect Eddie and call him by the name he prefers and not Edmundo. There was also jealousy that appeared in her eyes when she saw the family that Eddie, Buck and Christopher made.

"She said that men can't be raped or abuse victims," Eddie admitted.

Hen knew that her jaw had dropped in shock, "That is complete bullshit." They had seen it in their jobs. "Please tell me she didn't victim blame?"

Eddie's sad eyes were all the answers she needed. "We should let Athena talk to her," Hen muttered if anyone had a chance to make Ana see sense that men can be victims it is Athena Grant.

"Ahh, that might not be the best idea." Eddie glanced around happy to see that Buck was still beside Bobby, their captain had taken one look at Buck and called him into the kitchen to help him make breakfast for the crew. Part of Eddie wanted to get Hen's advice, to tell her his fears about Buck but he didn't want to betray Buck's confidence like that and it wasn't like he had proof but he knew deep in his heart that Buck had been a victim of rape and it still haunted him to this day.

"Eddie, are you alright? I know you like Ana and this can't be easy for you." Hen placed a comforting hand on Eddie's arms.

A sad laugh escaped Eddie, "I'm not sure. Ana is complicated, she is what my parents would see as the perfect wife for me and mother for Christopher that is part of the reason that I am trying so hard to make it work with her. But she isn't perfect, it is her little comments about what Chris should and shouldn't be allowed to do and I see how her trying to set limits for him is hurting my son. Then there is her attitude towards Buck, she just doesn't seem to like him."

Hen could only stare at Eddie, "She doesn't like him? Buck? Our sweet puppy Buck?" That was something she couldn't grasp. That didn't sound well for Eddie and Ana's relationship working out not with how important Buck is to both the Diaz boys.

"And there is something else. The way Buck reacted to Ana's statement. She hurt him with her words, it was like she knew how to hurt him and made sure every word hit their mark." Eddie admitted.

Biting her lower lip Hen studied Buck who had Bobby smiling at him like he normally does when the younger man has done something he finds cute. "Yeah, okay introducing Ana to mam bear Athena is out." Hen knew that Eddie had figured something out about Buck but she wasn't going to push him for answers it was up to Buck and Buck alone to decide if he wants to open up to them about what is haunting him. "I can't tell you what to do Eddie about Ana all I can say is follow your heart."

"Carla said almost the same thing," Eddie mumbled out.

Hen grinned, "Well she and I are both wise women, you should listen to us more."

Eddie found himself returning the smile as his gaze was once again drawn to Buck when he let out a loud laugh and his heart felt lighter at the sound and the room seemed brighter at the sight of Buck's smile. "I really should."

+*****+

Buck could feel Eddie's eyes on him all day, which wasn't something new but he could tell that he had figured out why he had reacted that way the other night. Feeling himself nervous Buck approached his best friend, the man he is in love with, playing with the string on his bag. "Can I talk to you?"

Picking up his bag Eddie studied Buck, "Of course you can always talk to me. Chris is with Abuela tonight so despite not seeing your favourite Diaz we can talk at my place."

"I'd rather Christopher not be around for this conversation, it is not for the ears of children," Buck explained.

"You can talk to me about anything Buck, you know that," Eddie promised.

A soft smile appeared on Buck's face, "I know that. You always have my back Eds."

+******+

Arriving at Eddie's place it didn't take long for Eddie and Buck to make themselves comfortable on the couch, their legs pressed against one another and a bottle of beer in their hands. Once again Buck was amazed at how at home he felt in the Diaz's home, it was his safe place.

"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere." Eddie promised Buck as he rested his free hand on Buck's knee and left it there.

Licking his dry lips it took several moments before Buck could find the strength to speak. "The first therapist I saw, the one that worked for the department I had sex with her. I didn't say no but I didn't say yes. And even though it was years ago I still have nightmares about her, about how dirty she made me feel. How no matter how many hot showers I took I could never get clean." Turning to Eddie Buck could feel his eyes filling with tears, "I didn't want to sleep with her Eddie. I didn't."

Strong arms wrapped around Buck pulling him back against Eddie's chest where he drank in the scent of sand wood and musk, the scent that is purely Eddie.

"That woman took advantage of you, Buck. You did nothing wrong, that woman was in a position of power and she should have never used it to do that to you." Eddie never hated anyone as much as he did the woman who did this to Buck. Tightening his grip on Buck he pressed a kiss on Buck's curls and kept whispering words of comfort as Buck clung to him and cried for what had been done to him, knowing that he was safe in Eddie's arms.

#buddie #buck x eddie #otp: you can have my back anytime #bad things happen bingo #sherri writes #my fics #tw: past rape

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eleventhdoctorsangel · 3 years

Text

Can you hear me screaming please don’t leave me

Summary: Bobby Nash and his niece were always really close. But on one fateful day he and his team were called to her house after her suicide attempt. After saving her his niece decided to go in the same line as work.

“You behaved yourself I’m proud of you.” I said. Buck just glared at me. “Oh come on you know you love me.” I teased. I looked over to see that Eddie was putting stuff away next to us. Uncle Bobby walked pasted us and patted Eddie on the shoulder. “That was a good call Eddie.” Uncle Bobby said as he passed Eddie. “Thanks cap.” Eddie said as he closed the door to where he was putting stuff away. “Nice job.” Chimney said as he passed us. Buck had closed the door to where we putting stuff away making his way passed Eddie. “Yeah. Good call.” Buck said as he walked past Eddie. “I would give him a little time. I think he’s just not used to another cute guy. I think he feels threaten.” I said. Eddie let out a laugh. “I think you might be right.” Eddie said. “Come on you two.” Uncle Bobby said. “We listen to Cap.” Eddie said. I nodded and made my way over to the other side of the truck where the doors are. Eddie followed me and opened the door for me. “Thanks.” I said giving him a smile as I climbed into the truck. I got back into my same seat I was in when we were on the way here. Buck again glared at me as I took my seat. I gave him a weird look in return. “What?” I asked. “Nothing.” Buck said as he looked away from me. “Okay grumpy gus.” I said rolling my eyes.

The rest of my shift was as normal as it could be. Well according to Uncle Bobby. I changed out of my work and put my street clothes. I grabbed my bag and left they women locker room. As I left the locker room I passed Eddie. “So how did you like your first shift?” Eddie asked. “Pretty tamed to be honest.” I said laughing a little. “Well it won’t always will be like that.” Eddie said. “Yeah every day can’t be like today. I know there will be days were it will be nonstop.” I said. “Well you probably want to head home.” Eddie said. “Well I don’t mind staying and talking for a while. But if you need to get home to Christopher I understand.” I said. “I think I should get home to see Christopher.” Eddie said. “I understand that. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I said giving him a smile. “Yeah see you tomorrow Y/n.” Eddie said. “See you tomorrow.” I said walking away and out of the station to my car. I got my keys out of my purse unlocking my door. I opened the door to my car throwing my bag into the passenger seat along with my purse. I buckled in then put my key into the ignition I turned on my car. I pulled out of the parking lot of the station. I drove back to the house that I recently moved into. Luckily Uncle Bobby and Buck had helped me move in. The house has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a decent size kitchen, a living room, a two car garage and a decent size back yard. I opened my garage door and pulled in and closed my garage door. I turned off my car and pulled the key out of the ignition. I grabbed my bag and purse then opened the car door getting out then closed the door. As I walked closer to the door leading into the house I got hear my dog marshmallow scratching on the door. I unlocked and opened the door. Marshmallow ran up to me jumping on my legs. I laughed and picked her up from the ground. She started licking my face making me laugh. “Alright come on you must be hungry.” I said as I put her back down on the ground. As I walked in the house she was at my heels. I sat down my bag and purse near the door. I went to go feed and water marshmallow. As she ate I started to fix me something to eat. I pulled my phone from my pocket and unlocked it outing on one of my many playlist then put it on the counter.

I decided to make some pasta. As the water was boiling I started to hum to the music I went to grab the noodles. The music stopped at my phone started to ring. I went over to my phone and sat the noodles down next to my phone. I looked to see who was calling me and it was Buck. I answer it and brought it up to my ear. “Hey Buck what’s up?” I said. “I just saw my sister naked.” Buck said. “I’m sorry.” I said. “I saw my sister naked. So you know how I’m staying at Abby’s place for the time being.” Buck said. “Yeah.” I said. “Well when I got back. I saw luggage’s and heard the shower. So I thought it was her.” Buck said. “I got I don’t need that image in my head.” I said. Buck started to laugh. “Oh come on you know you want that in your head.” Buck said. “No buck I don’t.” I said laughing a little. “So what are you doing?” Buck asked. “Just making me something to eat.” I said. “Yum what are you making?” Buck asked. “Just pasta.” I said. “Well with Bobby as your Uncle I bet you can every make pasta taste good.” Buck said. “Thanks Buck. So what you going to make?” I asked as I picked up the noodles and went to put them in the water. “I don’t know I might just fix some scrambled eggs.” Buck said. “Who are you talking to Evan?” I heard a female voice say. “Y/n. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Buck said. “Alright Buck I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said. I hung up and smiled as I shook my head. I finished my food and got my food plated I went over to my table as sat it down then I when to get something to drink. When I came back to the table I saw Marshmallow sitting down net to the chair looking up at the table. “Oh no sorry baby you can’t have any.” I said as I sat down. But she continued to look at me. “I’m not giving you any.” I said. Marshmallow let out a huff as she laid down on the floor.

Once I got done I went to take my dirty dishes to the sink then went to go put the leftover food away. After putting the left over away I put the dirty pan into the sink also. I started to play music again as I washed the dirty dishes and then put them in the dishwasher. After I got the dishwasher loaded I went to clean up around the kitchen.

When I got done cleaning up I decided to get some laundry done since I need to get some done. While the load of clothes were going thru the washer I grabbed the laundry basket that had laundry that needed to be folded and brought it into the living room and sat it down next the couch. I sat down and turn on the TV and put some supernatural on. Marshmallow jumped on the couch and lay down next to me as I started to fold what was in the basket.

I finished folding what was in the basket just as when the clothes in the washer needed to be switched over to the dryer. It had taken me a bit longer to fold because I got distracted by supernatural a few times. I switched the clothes over and started another load. I got done with that I walked back into the living room and grabbed some of the clothes. As I was putting my clothes I heard my phone ringing. I rushed over grabbing my phone from the couch to see who was calling me this time. It was Buck again.

“Buck I swear if you tell me about seeing your sister naked I will end you. Okay Bucky bear I will end you.” I said as I answered his call. “Okay you and I both know that you wouldn’t hurt a fly. Besides you’re so tiny. Which is why I’m going to help you get some muscles on those noodle arms of yours.” Buck said. “Okay first of all I don’t have noodle arms their weak nerd arms.” I said. “Okay weak nerd arms then. Bring some workout clothes with you when you come in tomorrow.” Buck said. “Uggg but that sound like hard work. I’m happy with my weak nerd arms. Why must you put me through some much tortured? Here I thought you loved me.” I said. “I do love you. You know that. All I’m say is that a few workouts won’t hurt you. We gotta stay fit in this line of work.” Buck said. “And I’m not fit now? You’re cutting kinda deep there Bucky bear.” I said. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Buck said. “Buck I’m messing with you. With as long has you’ve known me I would have think you be able to tell when I’m messing with you.” I said laughing. “I so knew you were messing with me the whole time.” Buck said laughing too. “Whatever helps you sleep at night Buck.” I said. “So what are you up to?” Buck asked. “Just watching some supernatural and getting caught up with my laundry.” I said. “You’re watching it without me how dare you.” Buck said pretending to act upset. “Clam down I’m watching episodes that we’ve already watched. Beside I’ve watching this for a while now I only just now got you into it.” I said. “And it has ruined my life so thank you.” Buck said. “Hey I tried to warn you.” I said. “It’s getting kinda of late I should probably go to sleep.” Buck said. ‘Yeah I’ll probably wait until I put my last load in the dryer then go to sleep.” I said. “You better.” Buck said. “Yes dad.” I said laughing. “I’ll see you tomorrow Y/n.” Buck said. “See you tomorrow Bucky bear.” I said. “I love you. You know that right?” Buck said. “Yeah I know. I love you two Bucky bear.” I said. “Bye Y/n.” Buck said. “Bye Buck.” I said and hung up.

#evan buckley imagine #eddie diaz imagine #hen wilson #eddie diaz #evan buckley #chimney han #bobby nash #9-1-1 imagines #9-1-1 imagine #9-1-1 on fox #kelsee's works #Do not reblog unless it's from me

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

Text

The Screw // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

This wasn't a request BUT I loved it. It's based off of the gif below.

Summary - Matthew gives the screw from his knee to a special girl.

Word Count - 1.5k

Y/n had been in a loving relationship with Matthew for quite some time, 3 years, 9 months and 16 days to be exact. She was 100% sure that he was the man that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The biggest thing in their relationship was Halloween, of course.

She had weathered more than 3 Halloweens with the man. Before they were together, they bought eachothers costumes. She got him a sexy nurse costume, and Matthew was not one to back down from a dare. So he wore it to the Halloween party and proudly told everyone that she had gotten it for him.

He had been nice and bought her a cloak from Harry Potter, it was even a cloak from your Hogwarts House. She was so grateful, and felt just a little *guilty*. A few months later they were together, just as everyone suspected they would be.

Their next Halloween they went with a little classic, PB&J. They stayed by eachothers sides the entire night to keep the costume true to itself. *Totally not because they couldn't get enough of eachother.*

The next year they were Scooby Doo characters. But they weren't what you would have expected. Not Fred and Daphne, no no.

They were Shaggy and Scooby.

Matthew had happily bounced around they party in his big Scooby costume, shouting every once in a while "Scooby Dooby Do!" To anyone who asked who he was. Y/n ventured around the house in a short dirty blonde wig, a Tie-Dye shirt, cargo shorts, and a comically large bong. Everyone quite enjoyed their weird sense of humor and obvious disregard for what people thought.

Last year they went as something only they would understand.

Matthew went as Edgar Allen Poe. He wore a white collared button up with a black scarf. Paired with black pants and a black suit jacket over it all. Y/n had used temporary hair dye to color his hair black, and they purchased a fake mustache to pull it all together. He then wanted her to go as Annabelle Lee.

*"You know that there is no description of Anabelle in his writing, right?" She argued.*

*"Yes, but he loved her so much. He loved her as she was and it was so strong that you don't even need to know how she looked." He brushed a piece of hair out of her face. "Just go in something flowy maybe, but go as you are. That's how I love you, that's why I love you." He said the words so nonchalantly, but they struck her in the heart like the sharpest of cupids arrows.*

*"Where do you come up with this beautifully poetic stuff?" She giggled, feeling more giddy and drunk in love than she had in quite a while.*

*"I'm Edgar Allen Poe, duh."*

So they went like that. They had to explain to so many people how their costume worked, and all of them found it *disgustingly* beautiful. It seemed that they were straight out of a book how perfect they were.

But this year they went back to their usual shenanigans. Matthew wanted to be something cheesy this year. He let her come up with 10 cheesy costumes, and he would make the final decision. She had been so excited about all of the costumes. After creating a list over the course of 2 days, she happily brought it to their living room and set the list on front of him.

1. Fred and Wilma Flintstone

2. Jim and Pam from The Office

3. Olive Oyl and Popeye

4. Oreo cookies

5. Sailor and Mermaid

6. Zombie Bride and Groom

7. Cookie and Milk

8. Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin

9. Magician and Rabbit

10. Barbie and Ken

He took one look at the list and knew exactly which one he wanted.

"I think we should do Zombie Bride and Groom." His answer came so quickly that it startled y/n a bit. But a smile was quickly plastered onto her face.

"Perfect! We can go get the costumes tomorrow and work on them." She picked up the list and circled the decision in red pen, a child like excitement shone in her eyes.

The latest Halloween party had come quicker than expected, and the couple was grateful for it. Matthew had been both extremely excited and nervous for this night. Y/n had practically been bouncing off the walls since they woke up that morning.

She woke up early to make Matthew breakfast in bed. She had looked up a tutorial online to make skull pancakes with yolks in the eyes. After she finished them they looked pretty pitiful, but Matthew looked at them like it was a painting by Vincent Van Gogh.

"Did you make these?" He sat up in the bed groggily, smelling syrup and warm pancakes.

"Yeah, they don't look that great." A nervous giggle erupted from her throat.

"I love them!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a hug on the bed. "Happy Halloween baby."

When 7 o'clock finally rolled around, y/n was standing in the bathroom, facing her full size mirror. She smoothed her hands down the white dress. It was only a 30 dollar dress, but she felt a little bad still that they tore it up for the sake of the costume. It was torn in multiple places, along with blood splatters here and there. Matthew had bloodied up his hand and put a few hand prints on it. Regardless, she thought it was cozy and warm to be in a wedding dress, even for Halloween. Blood was painted around her mouth and black eyeshadow around her eyes to make then seem sunken in. She had done something similar for her boyfriend. After admiring the wonderful Halloween work, she headed out to the living room.

Matthew had sat there on the couch the whole time she was in the bathroom. He was fiddling with a small box that he intended on using tonight. His foot tapped almost silently on the carpeted floor. The box was skillfully slipped into his back pocket as he heard the door to the bathroom click open.

"Ready?" She nodded her head violently as she grabbed his hand and lead him through the door.

The party was like any other. It was being held at AJ Cooks house as a final official get together for the cast and friends. Everyone whooped as y/n and Matthew entered her house.

"Going with another cool couples costume this year I see." AJ wore and FBI vest from the set. Y/n pulled at the strap of it a bit.

"I see *someone* stole a prop from set." She shrugged with a smile.

"Come on, it's my favorite thing to wear, and what better time to wear it." She giggled.

"I love it!"

"Well, enjoy the party you two." She gestured between us.

"We always do." Then they were off into the party.

They had each drank copious amounts of punch that had a floating head in it and eaten many 'bloody' pigs in a blanket, Matthew was running out of time, he thought. He brought her out to the backyard where there was a minimal amount of people.

"Aren't the stars pretty tonight?" She pointed to the sky as she leaned on his chest. He stared down at her messy figure, covered in blood but still looking more perfect to him than ever.

"Yes they are." She peered up to see him staring.

"You're so cheesy." Seeing her smile like that, he decided this was the right time. He unraveled her from his arms, pointing behind them.

"Hey, I think someone is calling for you over there." She whipped her head around to see that no one was standing there.

"Are you delusional?" She questioned with a chuckle. He was already down on one knee with the box. Once she span around her eyes immediately turned to the ground, happy tears already brimming. She looked closer at the object he was holding and let out a quiet sob.

"Is that," she sniffled, "Is that the screw from your knee." She laughed a bit into the statement, leaning down to examine it.

"Maybe?" His head tilted with the biggest smile she had ever seen on the man.

"Oh my gosh I love it so much." She grabbed it from his hands and pulled him to his feet. The small screw sat in the palm of her hand, rolling around a bit.

"I said I was going to give it to a special girl some day." Her face lit up at the statement. "I totally forgot to ask if you would marry me." He remarked with a dumbfounded look.

"Is that even a question?" She squealed, placing her arms around his neck. He pulled a second box from his pocket that held a ring and slipped it on her finger. They both stood and hugged for a while, just reveling in eachother presences.

"I hope you know I'm bringing this screw to the wedding, I'm gonna wear it as a necklace." She whispered excitedly.

"I wouldn't expect anything less." He placed a loving kiss on *his* y/n's head.

The feeling was mutual that they couldn't *wait* to spend the rest of their lives with eachother.

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #MGG #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthewgraygubler #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg fic

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calypsoff2 · 3 years

Text

Fourteen

I barely got my boner down, this house is a mess, and I don’t mean it in a way of the house is dirty but everyone is awake, the girls are weirdly excited to go to school and I think it’s because Robyn is taking them and then she woke me saying drop them off when she said to me she would get the SUV or I wouldn’t have slept that late, she woke me and I’ve only had an hour sleep. I been skyping Herb and he said he’s got an artist for me, and we been speaking on the future, that nigga don’t sleep either, so we were on Skype doing that and then I just was playing NBA, my fault I guess “daddy” hearing Imani saying my name, nobody knocks in the house too. Fixing my dick in my boxers and made my way out of the bathroom “daddy” she said again “yes baby, what’s wrong” she looks so concerned, I mean she is dressed “I can’t find mommy” her sad little voice “awww what you mean? Who was dressing you baby?” I mean I know Robyn would be dressing her so what happened “she left, she not downstairs. TT and Lee gone too” I huffed out, picking up Imani “without you, I don’t think so. I bet you haven’t checked properly” I would have liked to have got dressed first but clearly she wants to find Robyn; I am so fucking tired right now. The girls are unaware that Robyn is going tonight, she’s been summoned there and she’s held it off for long enough which sucks for me and the kids because we enjoy her here “mommy” Imani is so upset, it’s not like her “they haven’t left you, I’m taking you there so she will be in the home” she is so dramatic, walking down the steps “Morning Christopher” looking behind me, Monica is still here so good luck to Robyn telling her she’s going again “morning Monica, Imani can’t find Robyn apparently” I’m so tired, I keep saying this but it’s true. Making my way to the kitchen, the girls must be having breakfast and here they are “where is mom?” I asked Rylee “office” nodding my head, Imani clearly didn’t check properly “what are you like baby” fixing Imani in my arms “got me walking around in my boxers now” I chuckled, opening the office door and Robyn was quick to put her hand up at me and mouthed one minute, it’s the school run and it’s a tight schedule already, she can’t just do this and then say one minute “I muted myself, yeah?” She’s saying yeah like she doesn’t have three girls to get ready “it’s your day?” I just said “I know I’m nearly done” rolling my eyes “Imani thought you gone, hurry with that” walking out of the room, she’s stupid sometimes.

I know when my wife is angry with me, she always huffs and puffs and makes the most noise “I’m hungry by the way” I asked knowing it will aggravate her even more “you’re out, get something then” oh she’s mad “fine I’ll get your mom to make me something, I’m sure you will do it now” Robyn mean mugged me, I had to laugh because she’s adorable when she is angry “what did I do? Tell me?” Let me find out it’s something stupid I will be laughing at her again “you said hurry up with that in a nasty tone Chris, I don’t appreciate the tone at all” I busted out laughing “really?” I pointed “no joke? You being real?” I’m seriously shocked she took that to heart “your attitude when you said it was nasty, you can stand there and laugh but it ain’t funny, I was doing something last minute! Fuck!” She’s stressed out “are you both arguing?” Tianna asked “I came to say something” shaking my head “no, we’re just talking. We are leaving now anyways, let’s go” I didn’t say anything bad but she’s taken it to heart like that, maybe she’s stressed but I will leave it as that “let’s go” Tianna held Robyn’ hand “damn, what about my hand” these girls of mine sometimes, it’s like they forgot about me when their mother is here. I didn’t even do anything but yet Robyn gets the hand holding, it’s whatever though.

I sighed out getting back into the car, I am waiting on Robyn to join me. She is busy dealing with Rylee, she is having a meltdown. She doesn’t want to go to school or let Robyn go, so I just left Robyn to it. I can’t deal with the stupidity when I am just tired as hell, nobody got the time for that at all. Looking over seeing Robyn is joining me finally, she wasn’t far behind then “oh my god Rihanna” hearing someone say as she opened the door, here people go. Robyn got into the car without acknowledging the person, she is not in the mood for much at all “are you over it?” I asked, I mean I know she isn’t, but I didn’t really say anything but hurry up with that “you can be a little rude” she can be such hard work “right, does the girls know you’re leaving again. I swear to god you ain’t going until you tell them, I am not having it. I refuse to break it to them” she can do that job “of course you’re not being supportive, what do I expect with you. I am sick and tired; I have no choice. I have to go, sorry that I burden you with it” she is snapping, I can’t be bothered “I’m going to get McDonald’s breakfast, you want anything?” I better ask before I am called inconsiderate “you are being very spiteful, knowing them girls are going to cry and you rather see them cry and let me tell them?” Driving off slowly “I don’t wish to clean up what you leave behind so you tell them” what don’t she get, I swear to god she thinks I can clean the mess every single time.

I feel a little better now that I ate, I was maybe grumpy because I didn’t eat. I did buy Robyn something and she ate it, I mean of course she did. Her ass wouldn’t say no to food, but we are sat in silence, not a word is being spoken to each other which is a horrible feeling, just sat here in silence and just eating “you know what I am going to apologise, I just want to not argue but you can’t expect me to bail you out like that. The girls clearly adore you; they want you. And you want me to tell them you gone? Without saying bye, it’s nasty” Robyn shook her head “but it’s hard for me to say bye to them” I get her point “and I get that, you did it last time to them and they was heartbroken, you sit them down and tell them that you have to go, they will understand” Robyn huffed out “right, it’s me helping you. I am going there to put across your idea Chris, you are not pulling your weight either” that is rude “like what? I was up all night doing your shit too!” I spat “my shit!? I asked you to chase some overseas people and you think you did a good job? I told you, you didn’t do it Chris. Then you did your own thing, it looks like I employed my husband and you’re getting away with doing nothing, how many times is Jen going to ask if Chris is doing it!? Fuck, don’t you get it, you need to do more work. I have been at home, I have been taking care of the kids and the home and my empire, and you did what? You went to the gym to play basketball, don’t piss me off Chris” now she is pissing me off “fuck you, you’re pissing me off Robyn. You know what, let’s see what Monica has to say” Robyn laughed “hide behind my mother because you can’t handle the situation is a bitch move, you know what, don’t worry Chris. Your wife is stressed out but just add to it, I asked you one thing. Just drive, I am over it” turning the car engine off “I don’t want to drive, go and walk” how dare she actually come at me like that.

I ended up driving home, I didn’t want to sit with Robyn any longer with her miserable ass. Like how is going to take care of the kids when she runs off, her mother “go on then, run to my mother” Robyn said, you know what I am going to tell her mother because she is cocky as fuck about this shit. Locking my car door following Robyn inside the house, I mean I suppose I don’t actually make the effort with the company, because I just don’t know I am lazy, but she doesn’t need to throw it to me “Monica!” I spat closing the door behind me “ah!” I spat; Robyn straight hit me in my stomach “shut your mouth” so she doesn’t want me to tell her, but I will be “but you can’t listen to me? Let’s see if I am in the wrong or you” I am doing this, she can drag me all she wants “what is all the shouting?” Monica asked “Robyn is leaving for New York again and wants to runaway without telling the girls and now she is angry at me because I won’t back that and then on top of that she is arguing with me about not pulling my weight, I am here for the kids and she is running?” I just said it, she is talking shit in my face so let’s see. Turning to Robyn, she just sighed out “we spoke on you being a part time mother, I didn’t want you to have more babies. I didn’t want it because of this, you keep going away and leaving Chris to it, you listen to your husband, in this house you listen to him and if he doesn’t want you to go then you don’t. This is what you get for having babies, now you don’t want to take care of them. My grandbabies missing out!?” Monica is angry “it’s not like that, I won’t be away for long” Robyn defended herself “I don’t care, he doesn’t want you to go then you don’t! You tell them to bring it to you, what is this!? Acting all single, and you want another? No, you don’t leave Chris alone. Your husband said no so you don’t go; you are missing out on your kids. Your beautiful babies growing, you are missing it all” Robyn shook her head and walked off “fuck you Chris” she shouted, “have some respect!” Monica shouted.

I mean I get why she told me to fuck off, she just got told off by her mother because I told on her but she was being a pain in the ass and now she is going to hate me and not speak to me so this will be fun “hey Monica, just drop it now. I think she gets it now” she was about to follow her, I don’t need the headache now “I have told her about this, I don’t like this behaviour. The girls are settle now and she is just doing this, they are growing, and you can’t just take it all. I am not happy Chris” the front door opened “hi family” Mel is here, I haven’t seen her since we came back “hey” I breathed out, I mean Robyn is in a bad mood so her being here isn’t going to make it any better “you both need to deal with this, it can’t be this backwards and forwards on who takes care of the kids, it’s not a nice feeling to know my grandkids are being pushed around, you both decide what you doing, I think you both need to move to where the business is and take the kids with you” Monica has spoken “not that easy, sometimes business is here. Cali has all the fun here” I shrugged saying “ain’t your artist in New York though” Mel said, she got a point “just Cali seems to be best, look yes maybe we need to look into that” sighing out “everything good” turning to Mel and I didn’t expect it but she hugged me “just life” I did hug her back.

I did peep Robyn looking at us from upstairs, blowing the smoke out from my lips “you both have such a bad omen when you come back, it’s nice that you had a good time away” Mel said, she is sat outside with me. I don’t mind Mel, I mean I don’t have beef with her like Robyn has right now “shit was good overseas but I just dislike that Robyn has to go but then it leave it to me to tell the girls, I know she wants me to say it to them but I refuse, they was heartbroken when she left and I had to say it” Mel cringed “they do love Robyn a lot, I remember Rylee did say to me that she wishes Robyn wasn’t famous, I was like damn little girl calm down. I never said it but the love she has for her mother is so sweet, I can’t express how much she does. They all do, I am sure you feel it when she isn’t here, but you shouldn’t have told Monica, Robyn isn’t going to get over that. She doesn’t want her mom knowing, Monica can be too much so good luck with that” I cringed “but I also don’t like how she was talking to me, I mean it’s nothing big but I think we need to change a lot. I want to move so maybe I need to action that” I sighed out, Robyn isn’t going to be best pleased about me speaking to Mel either but it what it is, I don’t have an issue with Mel like that.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfic

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luciehercndale · 4 years

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Can I ask you for a fic with Christopher Lightwood were you touch how others opinions affect him, maybe not the main point but that it appears? Like it was mentioned in some of Cc asks that people expected him to be more like his father rather than spending the day at the lab , and I thought that maybe that affected him somehow at some point all that talking of not fulffilling others expectations. Just an idea, if you wanna give it a thought :)

Hi! I don’t know if I caught what you meant, I tried my best 😊 Hope you like it! 🌼

Characters: Christopher Lightwood, Cecily Lightwood Rating: T Title: Fireworks

Christopher Lightwood had never thought about himself being different from his friends. Not that anybody had ever told him that in his face, but some people weren’t capable of hiding their true feelings when in the presence of his parents.

“Don’t you wish your son would be an ordinary shadowhunter?” someone asked his mother once, during a social event. “I mean, instead of doing that mad scientist stuff with the Consul’s husband.”

Christopher had been distracted by fireworks, and had barely caught that they were talking about him. He had never seen the fireworks, and he didn’t know what they were until his cousin Thomas had told him that mundanes used them when they celebrated something. He wasn’t truly listening to what his mother was discussing with the other woman, nor he cared. He was just ten, and very curious. His curiosity for the fireworks outside was cut short when his mother Cecily replied to the other woman.

“What do you mean with that?” Cecily asked. Christopher’s ears perked up and he barely turned his head to watch his mother. That was the tone she used when he or his sister Anna did something she didn’t like. In that moment, Christopher understood that Cecily was very, very, angry. But at the same time, she was trying not to lose her cool.

The woman glanced at Christopher, and their eyes met. Her expression wasn’t welcoming nor warm. Had he met her outside, he would have avoided her. His father recommended him not to follow strangers in the streets, especially the ones that give you the chills. It was a weird explanation, he thought, but in that moment, he realized that woman was doing that. He stared back at her, and then her eyes moved back on his mother as if he didn’t exist.

“Well, aren’t you afraid that your oldest male kid is going to turn like Henry Fairchild?”

Upon hearing Henry’s name, Christopher forgot about the fireworks altogether.

“I don’t understand what are you trying to say,” Cecily replied harshly, but still tried to keep her voice calm.

This was a challenge, Christopher thought. He couldn’t see his mother’s expression, but he noticed her hand. She had grabbed the fabric of her dress in a fist and was holding it tightly. He didn’t know why she was doing that, and thought that she was cleaning her hand because it was sweaty. Something he often did when he was in the lab with Henry and got his clothes all dirty with substances of different colors, which made his mother frown.

“The whole Clave knows that he is out of his mind, come on. He’ll corrupt your boy’s mind and he will also want to create those… things, whatever he does.”

Christopher didn’t like the tone the woman had used, but he hadn’t said anything. But he heard Cecily’s fingers snap. She was still holding a piece of her dress, and her knuckles had turned white.

“So, you think I should keep my son out of his reach, right?”

The woman smiled. “Exactly! You can’t let Fairchild influence your son. He’s a Lightwood, and he shouldn’t bother with those people.”

“Oh,” Cecily said, changing her voice again. “I see.”

“I’m glad you do. We don’t need more people like him.”

No, that’s not true! Christopher thought, but didn’t to say anything. His parents taught him not to interrupt an adult while they talked, and he usually obeyed, despite wanting to interject. We need more people like Henry, he wanted to say. But I am like him, he had added. Is it enough?

The question weighed in Christopher’s mind for a few seconds before he could answer.

Yes, it is definitely enough. I am definitely enough, he declared.

“Do you know what type of people we also don’t need?” his mother continued, as if she was talking about the weather. “Close-minded people like you.”

Shock colored the woman’s face. She looked like his aunt Sophie when he and Thomas burned the curtains of the drawing room. But it wasn’t the same kind of shock. His aunt had been astonished at the sight of the fire eating the velvet cloths, but then her face had molded into resignation. She had sighed and had used her stele to draw a rune to extinguish the fire. This woman’s shock turned quickly into anger. She had been insulted and was clearly offended, and not even the chocolate chip cookies Bridget prepared would make her smile.

“How dare you!” she almost shouted, making some heads turn.

“No,” Cecily said with a firm tone. “How dare you.”

The woman looked at Christopher again. She was really mad. He didn’t understand the nuances of the conversation, but he realized that she was enraged because of what his mother had just said. He thought that she would do something, or say more, but then she just glared at his mother and left.

“Some people are rude,” Cecily commented to the empty space in front of them. Then she eyed him, and she smiled. “I love you, Christopher,” she simply said, but it was enough to make him grin affectionately at her. “You know that you can do whatever you like, right? That you can go to the lab whenever you want, as long as Henry approves.”

He nodded. “I love you too, mom,” he added, then his attention drifted to the window again, where there was a new display of fireworks lightning the night London sky.

#tsc #tlh #christopher lighwood #cecily lightwood #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns #tweety.writes #Anonymous #posta

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ourplaceinthecosmosphff · 3 years

Text

Chapter 27. Ice and Band Aids

'You deserve to be fought for, remember that’ - The Better Man Project

I prayed that it looked innocent from afar, because from where I was standing it felt very dangerous. Harry to one side, hand to his locked jaw, looking away. To the other, Christopher, hands in his pockets, eyes going from me to the ginger, brows furrowed.

Both men looked hostile, shoulders squared back, an annoyed, aggressive look on their eyes.

The silence was tense.

“Christopher?”

“Bonjour.” He greeted, spinning his hat in his hands. His hair was longer, but other than that, he looked the same.

“Wha-what are you doing here?”

“I may not be royalty, but I’m not trailer trash, either, bunny. I know people.” He said.

It was definitely the old nickname that shook me out of my shock, and brought me straight back into reality: my ex-boyfriend, almost fiancé, standing next to me in a place swimming with the upper class and the world’s press, while the man I was in love with watched.

“That’s not what I meant.” I explained, rispid.

“So this is it, huh?” He asked, coldly, looking between me and Harry, his grin, hostile.

“This is what?” I asked.

“Him.” He replied, pointing his chin at Harry in a dismissive manner. “He’s the one?”

“Chris.” I sighed, already dreading where this was going.

“May I help you?” Harry asked, his tone dripping with disgust.

“Oh, you’ve helped me plenty.” Chris replied, his tone matching Harry’s. “Helped me dodge a fucking bullet.” He added, looking at me, sarcasm all over his manner.

“Christopher, I–” I stuttered, trying to think of something to say that would end this as fast as possible.

“No need to explain, bunny, I get it. Clear as day.”

“I think it’s time for you to go, man.” Harry interrupted, stepping closer, putting himself between me and my ex.

“Yeah, go on.” Christopher said, stepping closer to Harry himself until he was staring up at him. “Really easy to play the big man after you steal someone else’s girl, isn’t it?”

“Christopher!” I interrupted, outraged, but whispery, terrified people would notice how deeply darker the energy had gotten around us. “That is not what happened.”

“I’m sure you’re so used to getting your way your whole life,” Chris added, mocking, “nothing’s out of reach for the little prince, right?”

“You’re really embarrassing yourself here, dude. I’d take my losses and go if I were you.” Harry told him, voice steady.

“Oh, but you’re not. You people couldn’t take a day in the life of a normal person, not after being coddled your whole life. But here’s the thing, buddy,” Christopher said, somehow managing to take one more step closer to Harry, “you think you can do what you want because of that little silver spoon you were born with, but never forget you might have lucked out being born at the right family, but you were born in the wrong order, my guy. At the end of the day you're too down the line to matter.”

“Chris!”

“Any room you walk into, people don't see you, they just see granny, don't they? You got nothing else. You are nothing else.”

I braced myself, took in a deep breath, and stepped closer to them. “That’s enough.”

They both ignored me.

“And I think you know that, too, don’t you? That you’re nothing?” Christopher asked. “No wonder you had to go after Maggie, conveniently right after her brother died, of course–”

I sighed, staring around, feeling useless.

“I think it’s time for you to shut up.” Harry told him, louder now.

“–how else would you make yourself feel you have anything to offer? Not work, surely, little prince is too good for that, so let’s latch on to a royal who actually lucked out and got some power now.”

“Ma’am, maybe we should go?” Joyce asked, lowly, to my ear.

I looked back. Though our staff had stayed behind when we moved to the hallway, our security had followed, as it was their job to keep an eye on us at all times, even if by far. Harry’s security, for example, were watching from a few meters behind us. They didn’t seem to notice how badly things had progressed – as both Harry and Christopher were keeping their tone very low – but they were still standing in a way to shield us from view to other people.

“Get Harry’s security.” I asked Joyce.

“I will, but you should come with.” She replied. “Wait back inside with the others while we handle this–”

“Joyce, now.” I demanded, and she hurried away.

“I think we’re done here.” Harry added, looking past him, down the hallway, and already reaching out his hand for mine.

Christopher stepped up between us, blocking his way.

“Did you try to cozy up to Louis too, before he died? You were his type.” He looked at me, now grinning, leaning closer as if sharing a secret. I leaned back. “Pity the throne isn't made of dick, right? Lou would have loved it then, right, bunny?”

Harry shoved himself back between me and Christopher. “Okay, this is over.”

Chris shoved him back one step. “Oh, is it, little prince?” He asked, laughing, humorless. “If you say, we must obey, right? God forbid you encounter someone who doesn’t bow to your every wish!”

At this, Harry’s security finally showed up.

“Sir?”

He raised a hand, stopping them in place. They didn’t approach more. I wanted to punch someone.

“You really are a fucking dick, huh?” Harry asked him. The light of anger in his eyes was the only thing that betrayed his calm.

“Shouldn’t have stolen my girlfriend if you wanted me to kiss your ass, asshole.”

At this, he shoved Harry again, but this time Harry wasted no time in returning a punch directly to Christopher’s face.

“Oh, my God.” I gasped.

A lot of things happened at the same time: Joyce pulled me back. Harry’s security officer stepped in, but wasn’t quick enough to stop Christopher from returning a punch against Harry. Next thing I know, we’re all being held back, one or two meters apart from each other, each by a security officer.

“That’s assault! I’m going to fucking sue you so hard your fucking grandchildren will be paying up!” Chris spit out, clenching a hand to his left eye.

I looked at Harry, who’s cheekbone had a small scratch; he was flexing his hand from the punch.

I stepped towards Christopher, shaking off Joyce’s hand on my arm.

“Try.” I dared him. “There’s four witnesses here who saw you shove him twice and call him names multiple times. Harry was acting in self-defense. Any court will find you guilty of inciting violence, intimidation, maybe even assault of the third degree. I don’t know what you learned in Law School, Christopher, but I think you may even serve time for that.”

“Maybe you’ll go to jail, and then you’ll be someone’s bunny.” Harry said.

Christopher attempted to lunge at him again, but Harry’s officer held him in place, and he gave up quickly enough.

“Breaking up with you was my choice, Chris.” I told him, stronger now. “If you don’t think I am able of making my own choices without another man being involved, then that’s on me for taking so long to realize how little regard you have for me.”

He rolled his eyes, scoffed, and gave Harry another dirty look. Then he shoved off Harry’s security officer’s hold on him, and took off towards the elevators.

“Jesus Christ.”

I looked back at Harry, whose face was being held in place by one of his security officers. He gently shrugged the man’s hands off.

“I’m fine.” He said.

“Harry, I am so sorry.” I said, pushing past Joyce towards him. “This is–He is–I mean.” I sighed and groaned at the same time. “I am so sorry.”

His hand gave my arm a gentle squeeze. “This isn’t on you, Mary. At all.”

“Stil, what are we going to do? You have a scratch on your cheekbone, that’s going to swell and get red, it may look like you have a black eye.”

“Relax, I can handle it.”

“That’s not what I mean!”

“Sir, we should probably leave.” His security interrupted. “We can’t be sure who witnessed this, and the longer we stay the clearer your wound will be.”

“That’s what I mean!” I said.

“Okay, I get it.” Harry sighed. “For the record, he barely touched me. It’s not that bad.”

“Her Royal Highness is correct, it’ll get worse, especially the longer you don’t ice it.” His officer added. “If we wait, they’ll have you pictured arriving normally, and leaving with scratches.”

“Scratch, one scrath!” Harry corrected. “Fine. Get Edward and secure a way out.”

Joyce approached me again. “Ma’am, we should go back inside.”

“What? No, I–”

“It’s okay.” Harry said. “It’s okay, Mary. You should go ahead, you don’t want to be associated with this.”

My heart sank with guilt. “I should be. It’s my fault.”

“No, it isn’t–”

“How isn’t this my fault, Harry?! He’s my ex. This whole thing was about me!”

His secretary arrived right then, interrupting his rebuttal.

“We should leave right now.” He said. “While the race is on and fewer reporters will be expecting exits.”

Harry looked at me, longingly.

“Ma’am,” Joyce insisted, “we should join the others.”

I looked at Harry, whose eyes were still on me, feeling my heartbeat heavy in my throat.

His security officer came back.

“We’re ready to leave, sir.” He said. “We’ll take the stairs down.”

Harry continued to look at me in a desperately sad way. Finally, he sighed, a smile on his lips that didn’t reach his eyes.

“I guess I’ll see you around.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry, again.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. I get it.”

I wondered, briefly, if he thought I was apologizing for something else. Maybe the thing he had just said that was still echoing in my head.

“We should really get going.” His secretary insisted.

“Fine.” Harry said, rispid, before giving me another quick smile. He opened his mouth to say something, seemed to think better of it, and closed it again. “Take care.” He said, before being quickly escorted to the stairs by his team.

Joyce cleared her throat after they were all gone.

“We should go back, ma’am, before you’re missed.”

“Yes, thank you, Joyce. I get it.” I replied, instantly feeling guilty over my tone, but filing out quickly, without looking back.

I had a few certainties for the rest of the afternoon: one, my outfit was, apparently, a statement. I knew this because I overheard two women talking about me in the bathroom when they didn’t know I was in one of the stalls.

Two, Cadie and Auguste, and everyone else, knew nothing about what had occurred with Harry and Christopher. I even asked Joyce if my other security officer, Pierre, had seen anything, but apparently he’d been guarding the doors. And, as Joyce assured me of her silence, I didn’t have any explanations to give to anyone.

And three, I had to talk to him. There was simply no way I could go home without talking to Harry about, well, not about what had happened exactly, but definitely about what he had said. And I knew, even as I spent all the following hours thinking it over, I knew exactly why I shouldn’t talk to him. It was impossible not to know when I had been told over and over before.

And yet, there I was: outside Kensington Palace, barely a couple of hours after he had left Ascot, sitting in the car trying to decide if I should follow my heart, or if I could go back home and live with the regret.

My phone chimed once, letting me know I had a new message. It was from Cadie:

‘Guards have been informed and taken your ID. You can go in.’

I sighed. She and Auguste were in a separate car, and I had another with my two security officers. I had sent Cadie to the gate to inform them I was here and give them my passport.

‘BTW Auguste is really insisting we go home.’

I rolled my eyes to the dark and made my choice. I typed a reply for her:

‘Go home, I’ll be fast, but there’s no need for you to wait.’

I waited for her reply on the edge of my seat, wondering if whatever Auguste had to say would make me change my mind. But the reply never came. We just saw their car take off. Then Joyce and Pierre looked at me.

“Ma’am?” Joyce asked.

“Let’s go in.” I decided.

The guards let us in, and took a look at the car just to confirm we were who they had been told we were. We were then pointed in the direction of Harry’s Cottage.

When we parked in front of the cottage, I realized I wouldn’t need to knock. I felt stupid – of course security would tell him he had a visitor. So I stepped out of the car, and met him in the sidewalk. Each step closer gave me more dread.

The area around his left cheekbone was slightly swollen, and redder. The scratch was red enough that left me no doubts that it was bleeding, even if just a little.

“I’m fine.” He said as a greeting.

I shrugged. “I’m sure you are. I only came for a drink.”

He grinned, nodded, and ushered me inside.

Strangely, it felt like coming home. I walked into his house, his slightly messy house, with the jacket he’d worn today thrown over the couch, dishes still to wash in the sink, and fresh, unfolded laundry on a basket by the stairs, and I felt an immediate sense of relief. Like I could stop being proper and regal. As if now it was safe to step off of my heels and be myself.

It was a dangerous thing to feel at home with a man I wasn’t supposed to love.

“Make yourself at home.” He said, unknowingly rubbing salt to my every wound.

“Okay.” I replied, kicking off my shoes, and leaving them by the door with my handbag. “Why aren’t you icing that?”

He sighed. “It’s just a scratch, Mary.”

I quickly pulled off my hat, and the half-a-dozen bobby pins keeping it in place, and made my way to the kitchen, finding an ice tray in the fridge.

“Seriously, it’s not a big deal. I know it was scary and all, but–”

“Don’t tell me it wasn’t a big deal!” I said, knocking the tray to the sink after washing it. I looked back at him, softly as an apology of sorts for the loud tone. “It was awful. He dragged you into something that has nothing to do with you, put you in a terrible and dangerous position, not to mention being horribly rude and offensive!”

“I can handle it–” He started, but stopped himself when I groaned in response and turned back to the sink to get a handful of ice out of the tray.

“I don’t care that you can handle it. Of course you can! I can, too! That’s not the point!” I said. I found a clean kitchen towel to wrap the ice in.

Harry walked to me, and leaned against the kitchen sink.

“You’re right. It sucked.” He said. “But, can I ask you a qu–God, what–!” He complained when I touched the ice to his face.

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“It hurts!”

“Just keep the ice to it.” I insisted, holding his hand in place. “Or else it’ll stay swollen longer.”

“You’re right. It sucked.” He said. “But, can I ask you a qu–God, what–!” He complained when I touched the ice to his face.

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“It hurts!”

“Just keep the ice to it.” I insisted, taking his hand and holding it over the ice to keep it in place. “Or else it’ll stay swollen longer.”

I held my hand to his jaw, keeping his head in place, adjusting his hand holding the ice to the wound as he winced. I held my hand over his for a moment, then removed both to look at the scratch.

“We should clean it.” I said, my voice coming out softer than I had intended it. “To be safe.”

His eyes were on my lips, which they didn’t leave as he nodded, gulping.

I stepped back and grabbed his first aid kit from where I knew it was, under the sink. As I went through it, looking for gauze and, well, really just doing nothing to give myself time to breathe, he moved closer to me, leaning on his side against the counter by my side, facing me.

“I’m sorry.” I said, looking down at the box. “I’m just really angry right now and I… I don’t don’t know what to do with that, and I know it’s not your fault, of course, but it frustrates me to no end that you’re not.”

“Who says I’m not?!”

I looked at him, finally. He was closer than I had realized.

“You’re too calm to be angry.” I complained.

“I’m calm because you keep apologizing to me.” He said. “And if there’s one person here who I know did not ask for this, it’s you.”

“You didn’t, either–”

“No, I kind of did.” He said, scratching his brow with his free hand, avoiding my eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, even if you disregard the countless times I wished I could punch that guy in the face before today, I did punch him first.”

“After he said a thousand horrible things.” I countered.

“No, I think if I’m honest with myself, I’ve been kind of hoping for the chance to punch him for a long time.” He sighed. “So I wasn’t exactly eager to diffuse the situation today.”

I regarded him, silent, trying to understand what he’d just said.

“Why did–” I started, weakly; confused. “Why would you want to punch him? I mean, you know what? Nevermind.” I shrugged. “You should feel proud you saw him for who he was before I did.”

I wet a piece of gauze in the sink, and pulled him by the arm to the kitchen table, sitting him in a chair facing me.

“As sexy as it is when having you man-handle me like this,” he said, smiling charmingly, “I can tell you’re still mad.”

I touched his hand, removing it from the scratch, and dabbed the gauze over it to clean it. He winced.

“I thought you said it didn’t hurt.” I teased.

“Shut up.” He grinned. “But, please, continue. You were saying I was so smart for seeing him for who he was before anyone else.”

I smiled in spite of myself. “Maybe it’s less about you being so smart, and more about me just being dumb.”

“You’re not dumb.” He said, simply.

I sighed, tapping the scratch with a dry piece of gauze now. “Well, what would you call it?”

He seemed confused. I sighed, tired.

“I’ve known Christopher for most of my life. He was my first crush, my first kiss, my first boyfriend. Hell, my only boyfriend! I was going to marry that guy! You know how serious that kind of decision is for people like us! And I was, for like, the last two years of college up until last year, I thought I was going to marry him!”

The ice was dripping on the table now, so I grabbed his hand, placed it over the gauze, and took the ice to the sink, taking in a deep breath and exhaling it slowly on the way.

“I wasn’t just in love with him, I genuinely liked him. I thought of him as a good, cool person.” I looked back at him, “I don’t know that guy that we saw today, and I don’t believe people can change that dramatically that fast, which means he’s always been a dick, and I just didn’t see. I didn’t see it! So much so that I almost married him. How stupid is that?!”

I bit my lip, feeling my nails scratching my palms in frustration. I took in a deep breath again, and found a bandaid box in the first aid kit. I walked back over to Harry.

“And I didn’t even do anything while he went off on you like that.” I shook my head in disappointment. “I was such a coward.”

He reached out and held my hand in his. “You did nothing wrong.”

I smiled at him. “I thought we established saying that didn’t help.”

“I’ll keep saying it until it does.”

I sighed, still smiling, but still frustrated as Chris’ words swirled around my head. I removed Harry’s hand with the gauze from the scratch, taking a step closer to him so I could see it better from up close. I felt his eyes on me, and a warm puff of air as his breathing grew heavier. I avoided his eyes. It felt safer.

I grabbed the ice from him, a little more forcefully than necessary. Remembering just how absurdly offensive Chris had been, I let out a huff of anger. Harry blinked, patiently.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” I said, quickly. “It's not worth it.”

“You’re right. But you’re angry.” He insisted. Still, I was quiet. “Okay. Truth or dare?”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Not now, Harry.”

“Oh, we can refuse to play, can we?”

“…we never discussed that specific rule.”

“Okay, then pick.”

I sighed. “Truth?”

“Talk to me. What are you thinking about?”

I straightened up, allowing my bubbling anger to come to surface.

“Fine! I’m thinking about what would have happened if we hadn’t broken up. I’m thinking that that part of him would have come out eventually, and what would have set him off? Me? Our children? What would he have done? Who would he have hit if you weren’t there? And more importantly,” I heaved a heavy sigh, “how dare he accuse you of all those things?! He doesn’t know you! He doesn’t know us, or our story, and everything that happened between us! He said all of that bullshit based solely on me breaking up with him, and seeing us talking! Nothing else!”

The kitchen was silent as I breathed heavily, still holding the ice to his cheek.

“…I just need to say it.”

I looked down at him, who was staring off into the wall.

“I think I know what you’ll say, but I need to say it, anyway…” He gulped. “It’s not true. What he said. You know that, right?”

He looked up at me, tentatively. I let my hand fall from his face.

“Harry…” I started, weakly. “Of course. Of course, I know. He–Christop–Ugh!” I put–no, threw the ice down at the table, angrily. “How could I have been so blind?!”

I ran both hands through my hair in frustration, pulling it a little. I looked back at Harry, took a deep breath, and let my arms fall to my sides.

“Harry.” I started, softer, pleading, “He was projecting. He was probably trying to save face, because that’s what I accused him of doing when we broke up.”

His brows furrowed up at me. “Really?”

I sighed. “He… I don’t think he did it on purpose. I don’t think it was a big, evil plan, or anything like that… I don’t think he realizes that’s what he did. But he… He didn’t seem to care about me or our relationship until after Louis died. Like the sacrifices he would have had to make weren’t worth it unless I had a title that held actual power.”

His expression grew from confusion, to anger. “Are you literally fucking kidding me?!”

“…no. Again, I don’t think he knew that’s what he was doing… But he didn’t want to marry me until it meant he would have a bigger role within the royal family. And I said that when he proposed.”

“Wait, he proposed?!”

“Oh, man, we really need to catch up.” I joked. “In front of both our parents, and my sister.”

“I think I read something about that in the press, it seemed too ridiculous to be true.”

I smiled, humorless. “Believe me, the real thing was worse.”

“That fucking…” he mumbled. “Dick. That fucking dick.”

“Relax, it’s over.” I shrugged.

“Now I wish I had punched him harder.” He added.

I watched him for a few seconds, biting my lip, before it became too hard to stop myself from breaking into a smile.

“Well, at least you punched him.” I said, taking another step closer, standing between both his legs to ice his cheek again. “I just stood there, like an idiot.” I framed his jaw with my other hand, pulling his face slightly up so I could see the wound better.

Though my eyes were firmly in his cheek, I could feel his on me.

“I should have done more.” He complained, sounding strained. “I should have stopped him before he talked about your brother. That was way over the line.”

I bit my lip, gulping, wishing like hell I could tell him the truth about Louis’ sexuality, and about how confused I was, wondering if Chris knew something about it he had never told me.

But then, I realized. “Louis would have laughed in his face.” I told him, smiling myself. It made him smile, too.

“What do you think he would have said?” Harry asked. “If you told him about what Christopher did today.”

I considered this for a few seconds.

“He would have found the nearest bottle of booze and had us toast to the bullet I dodged.”

I was being sincere, but the minute Harry laughed, I did, too.

“And then would have spent the rest of his life asking for praise for being right about him.”

“Really?” He asked, serious. “I thought he liked him. Your whole family seems to.”

“Chris is just part of our context…” I shrugged. “But after the second time we broke up, Lou never defended him the same way the others did. He always said I deserved better.”

I took the ice from his cheek, and dried it with the clean part of the towel.

“I think it’s better.” I declared. “I think we should go with a band aid and maybe icing it a little more.”

I opened the band aid box, realizing it was all kids’ band aids. I looked at him, inquisitive.

“It’s my nephew’s.” He shrugged, blushing.

“Right.” I nodded, unconvinced, and slightly amused. I took out two, and offered it to him. “Trucks or superheroes?”

“Dealer’s choice.”

I carefully placed a spiderman band aid over his cheekbone, coming closer to make sure none of the glue was touching his scratch.

“A superhero for the hero who defended my honor today.” I teased, making him smile.

Making sure the band aid was secure in place, I caressed his cheek, and then continued to do so a little more than necessary. It was just… It was so easy to look at him like this, standing right over him, his legs around mine, his face in my hands, a perfectly innocent excuse for it all.

I allowed my thumb to travel from his cheekbone to his nose, and then down to the corner of his lips.

“I’d defend your honor anyday.” He added, whispery, his warm breath joining mine.

I didn’t remember being this close to him before, but he certainly felt close now.

“There’s something I’m wondering.” He said, still just as softly, just as carefully.

“Yes?”

“Before… you said…” He gulped, eyes going between mine and my lips, blinking rapidly. “You said he dragged me into something that had nothing to do with me.”

I nodded, slowly, hands still framind his jaw, thumb to his lower lip.

“He shouldn’t have accused you of anything.” I said. “You did nothing wrong. What happened between Christopher and I, it had nothing to do with you.”

He nodded only slightly. His eyes traveled to mine, too close now.

“So it had… nothing to do with me?” He asked. “At all?”

I bit my lower lip, closing my eyes in frustration.

“I…” I sighed. “We had a lot of problems. Problems I had been ignoring for a long time.”

When I looked back at him, he had a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips; it felt nice under my thumb. His skin was warm now, all traces of the icing gone.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He said.

Feeling way too weak for this, throwing all caution to the wind, I traced his lower lip with my thumb, my eyes following the line attentively.

“I forgot your question.” I whispered, watching as his smile grew, teasingly, into a grin.

I felt him lean forward, closer to me.

“Should I ask again?” He asked, the words falling from his lips as his nose touched mine, delicate.

With one short move, easier than it should have been, I touched my lips to his, softly. Two seconds, then gone. I pulled back, only slightly, opening my eyes to see his closed.

“Does this answer your question?”

He didn’t answer mine; one swift move and his hands pulled me by my waist to him, just as he stood up, crashing my lips into his in a fury. His arms wrapped around my waist, hands splattered on my back, up and down, as if getting to know each centimeter of me they could reach.

My hands slide down his jaw to the back of his beck, tugging at his hair, allowing my walls to come falling down as his body met every inch of mine as he kissed me strong and fast. His hands, wide and firm in my back, rubbed against my sides, but stopped at my hips, questioning.

I pulled back, leaving my forehead on his, a breathless smile on my lips.

Bringing my hands back down, I traced his lapel, finding the first button of his shirt. I undid it, and looked at him, before undoing the next one. And the next.

His lips stretched into a smile and he leaned down, tugging me closer, kissing me again, with renewed energy. His hands slid down my hips, finding my buttcheeks, and with one firm move he lifted me towards him, to sit on top of the table. I wrapped my legs around him.

“By the way,” I added, as his lips found their way to my neck, “I’m falling in love with you, too.”

--- ---- ---

[A/N: Y’all. I know I’ve dropped the ball here. I totally stopped with the previews and have been posting very late on mondays (technically tuesdays I guess), thank you SO MUCH for your patience! Being an adult sucks balls. BUT AT LEAST WE ARE FINALLY HERE! WHAT DO YOU THINK????? PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Also, what do you like? you know, seggs scene wise, full details or fade-to-black? I’m flexible. I love reading them (and writing them) but always feel super self-conscious writing them, so let me know? And thank you for reading, as always! Two last things:

1. Last week I forgot to ask, what do you think of Harry’s poem?? 2. Has anyone noticed anything familiar about Adrien’s storyline in NY, dating a celebrity out of nowhere? Just wondering.

DROP ME A MESSAGE THANKS FOR READING AND FOR BEING YOU AND FOR BEING HERE HAVE A GREAT WEEK!]

#Princeharryff #prince harry fanfic #prince harry fanfiction #princeharryfanfiction #Princeharryfanfic #prince harry #brf #modern royalty au #modern royalty fanfic #fanfiction #OPITCphff #chapters #i have work in 5 hours #LOL #god help me

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purplebunniboy · 3 years

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Retrograde Character Masterlist

I lied, here are all the characters. I’ll do in depth backstories later.

This probably isn't EVERY character but it's damn near close and just some basics about them that are totally subject to be altered or expanded upon later

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Afton Family

Michael Frederick Afton/ Fritz Smith/ Mike Schmidt:

Thick curly brown hair, hazel green eyes, grey tshirt with rolled sleeves, tucked into jeans// scars along his face, torso, and arms

Born October 7th, 1969 to Sandra Schmidt and William Afton

The oldest of the Afton children

Loved baseball, got his first bat from Henry

Scar across his nose came from a fight, hand scars came from attempting to pry open Fredbear's mouth during the bite, arm scar came from encounter with the Nightmares, torso scar came from getting scooped, various other scars from animatronic encounters

Fox mask bully, Dayshift worker at Freddy Fazbear’s in 1987, Technician at Circus Baby’s Pizza World and Party Rentals, Nightshift Security Guard at Freddy Fazbear’s in 1998

William David Afton:

Shiny dark hair, soft blue eyes that turned grey the first time he “died”, well-groomed and cared about his looks

Father of Michael, Elizabeth, and Cassidy Afton; Spouse of Sandra Afton

Co-owner of Fredbear’s Family Dinner, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, Circus Baby’s Pizza World, Fazbear Robotics and Fazbear Entertainment inc.; Owner of Afton Robotics LLC

Cunning, charming, and extremely persuasive, could find out absolutely anything about anyone and use it against them to get what he wanted

Extremely theatrical and loved going over the top in performances,

Loved robotics and excelled at crafting learning AI, but could never perfect it how he wanted

Drove himself mad with the idea of immortality and legacy

Absolutely hated being called Billy

Did love his kids, at least originally, he’s only Somewhat a heartless monster, but there’s something still beating in that chest of his

Cassandra “Sandra” Bella Schmidt:

Denim jumpsuit, dyed blonde hair, hazel green eyes

Mother of Michael, Elizabeth, and Cassidy Afton. Spouse of William Afton

Was a Broadway actress but left her career behind to marry William and raise her family

Very soft-spoken, only confident when she was on a stage under the spotlight

Had a beautiful singing voice and would often sing her children to sleep, especially if they woke up from night terrors

Elizabeth “Lizzie” Rose Afton:

Dark strawberry blonde hair curled into tight ringlets and pulled back into two ponytails with red ribbon ties, bright green eyes, often wore a lot bright colors

Born May 12th, 1979. Died February 1986

The youngest of the Afton children

Suspected of being the product of an affair as her looks did not resemble her father’s

Did whatever it took to get her way and was very cunning about how she went about doing that

Liked to sing with her mother and was very musically inclined

Evan “Ev” Afton:

Thick brown curls that often fell in front of bright green eyes, white collared shirt a large black tshirt with two white stripes across the chest

Born October 31st, 1975. Bitten by Fredbear October 31st, 1983. “Died” November 5th, 1983

The middle child of the Afton children

Was never the best at communicating with others, complained a lot, fought with his brother constantly at home

After witnessing Charlie’s unaliving, became traumatized and cried all the time

Had a large collection of stuffed animals but was usually carrying around at least one of the Fazbear Plushies

---

Emily Family

Henry Emily

Shoulder length hair always swept or pulled back out of his face, dirty overalls, hands are never clean

Father of Charlotte and Samuel Emily. Spouse of Donna Emily

Treated all the robots the same way he did his own children

Caring and understanding but had a short temper and lacked patience, especially when under a lot of stress

Extremely talented in robotics, excelling in them from an early age. He could make anything look lifelike and real.

Preferred the comfort of his garage workshop over really showing his face

Donna Fitzgerald:

Big and poofy dark hair, dark eyes, high-waisted acid-wash jeans, pink wool turtleneck

Mother of Charlotte and Samuel Emily. Spouse of Henry Emily.

Strong-willed and very loud about her opinions on things.

Very supportive of Henry’s passion with robotics even if the whole topic gave her headaches when she attempted to wrap her brain around the concept

Charlotte “Charlie” Emily:

Denim overalls decorated with marker drawings of flowers, green striped tshirt, green wrist band, untamable brown hair pulled into two high pigtails

Born June 26th, 1978. Died April 5th, 1983

The younger of the Emily children

Extremely empathetic and caring, always went out of her way to care for children smaller than her, wanting them to feel loved and accepted

She was never afraid to get dirty, she always colored outside of the lines on purpose, she wanted to do the daring and unexpected.

Carried around a porcelain doll that was styled like a black and white jester

Her robotic counterpart was the spitting image of the real one

Robotic Charlie was much more sensitive and much more analytical of the world around her

Samuel “Sammy” Jeremy Emily/ Jeremy Fitzgerald:

Born June 24th, 1970. Bitten by Mangle October 7th, 1987

The older of the Emily children

He was always a very gifted child, excelling in mathematics from a very young age, but hit gifted kid burnout by the time he hit highschool

Never had much of an interest in robotics

Patient and gentle, he preferred to keep to himself and would often seek out quiet places he could be alone

Jennifer “Aunt Jen/Jenny” Emily:

Older sister of Henry Emily

Always had an interest in robotics and passed her skills on to her baby brother

Fiercely loyal to family she would do anything she could to protect them and keep them happy, especially Henry since he was the only family she really had left

She was strong-willed, even in her younger years, and able to hold her own very well

---

Before the Bite

Michelle “Mitchie” Peters:

Spiky short brown hair, green t shirt, blue boy shorts, green sweatbands

Bear mask bully

Older sister to Gabriel Peters

Died July 4th,1985

Michael’s closest childhood friend

A tomboy, closet case, and had a major superiority complex or at least pretended to have one

Called the Mama Bear of the group due to her caring deeply for her friends but aggressiveness towards everyone else

David “Davie” Kennedy:

Wavy black hair, red polo shirt with a popped collar, blue bunny mask

Bigger kid and designated meat shield of the group.

Willing to defend his friends to his dying breath.

Inside, he had a soft core. He was the one who would check on each of them, asking if they were ok and if they needed help. His soft core often got him teased by his friends but it never stopped him from wanting to make sure they were always safe

Bunny mask bully, Technician at Circus Baby’s Pizza World and Party Rentals

Christopher “Chris” Houghton:

Short curly dark hair, long sleeve blue shirt

Chicken mask bully

Never left the arcade, living that sweet gamer life

Liked to run his mouth and always needed to have the last word

Vanessa “Nessa/Ness” Abernathy

Dark hair, rainbow clip extensions, dark eyes

Born December 24th, 1970.

Knew Michael in school, had a crush on him, he was the first one to ever call her Ness and the only one she ever let call her that

Took a robotics class because of him and also got really into coding

Influenced by William and eventually taken completely under his control. She was his eyes and ears in the outside world. Talks to him through the Spring Bonnie plush when non-possessed

Poses as Mike’s therapist to keep an eye on him for William

Matthew “Matt” Griffiths

Older man though no one was sure how old he actually is or if he can even die, choppy hair, thick rimmed glasses

Phone guy

Dayshift worker/ Training Manager at Fredbear’s Family Diner, General Manager of the first Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria

Loyal to the company but also put his own well being and safety before anyone else’s

Would not stick his neck out for anybody on his own

Blunt and standoffish, sometimes considered rude though he was never rude to customers or kids

One of Afton’s first “puppets”

---

Party of 1985

Susan “Susie” Waylar:

Messy golden blonde curls, blue eyes, pink shirt, bedazzled jeans

Older sister of Samantha Waylar

Best friends with Gabriel Peters

Died June 26th, 1985. Stuffed into Chica

Extremely energetic and always told she should settle and be quieter like her sister

Despite being super messy, constantly having gunk in her hair and under her nails, she had an unnatural ability to always keep her dresses clean

Gabriel “Gabe” Peters:

Straight light brown hair, striped shirt beneath denim overalls, missing front tooth

Younger brother of Mitchie Peters

Died June 26th, 1985. Stuffed into Freddy Fazbear

Stood up for the smaller kids whenever possible

Energetic, never able to settle, and outgoing. Impossible to ever see him not smiling

He was clumsy and always getting hurt accidently.

Best friends with Susie Waylar

Cassidy “Dee-Dee” Richards:

Dark hair always pulled into two uneven pigtails, always wearing yellow

Died June 26th, 1985. Stuffed into Golden Freddy

Pulled a lot of pranks, some lighthearted, some not so much.

Threw tantrums to get what she wanted.

Always wanting to be first, always wanting to come out ahead, always

Jeremy Velasquez:

Died June 26th, 1985. Stuffed into Bonnie

A generally shy kid who’s loud and energetic around his friends

Started growing out of Freddy’s pretty early on

Susie felt bad for him and invited him to hang out with her and Gabe

Frederick “Fritz” Parker:

Messy auburn hair, pastel pink polo shirt

Died June 26th, 1985. Stuffed into Foxy

Aggressive and rude, rather abrasive and destructive

---

Party of 1987

Pete Dinglewood:

Brown hair, red letterman jacket, backwards baseball cap, prosthetic hand and glass eye after being hit by a car and barely surviving.

Died October 4th, 1987. Stuffed into Foxy

Older brother of Charles “Chuck” Dinglewood

Always sticking gum under the tables in the party rooms

Alec Wilkins:

Blonde curly rocker mullet, sci-fi movie shirt with cut off sleeves, braces

Died October 4th, 1987. Stuffed into Freddy

Older brother of Hazel Wilkins

Could be rude at times, always got himself into trouble and pinned with the “problem child” title

Toby Billings:

Fluffy brown hair, mullet, reminds Michael of Cass, pullover sweatshirt with an athletic team’s logo on the front, always putting stuff in his mouth

Died October 4th, 1987. Stuffed into Bonnie

Younger brother of Connor Billings

Wanted to have the highest scores in the arcade

Cracks his knuckles when he’s lying or when he’s nervous which most people will loudly say is gross and annoying

Millicent “Millie” Fitzsimmons:

Dyed black hair always teased and pinned on one side, always wears a lot of black and intense black makeup

Died October 4th, 1987, stuffed into Chica

Best friends with Alec

Lives alone with her grandfather, who is sometimes hired by Fazbear’s or Afton Robotics to fix any minor technical malfunctions with the animatronics

Was there during the grand opening event of Circuse Baby’s when Elizabeth was killed in 1986

---

Around Town

Connor Billings:

Brown hair, square face, very hyper and always laughing even if the joke isn’t funny

Phone dude

Older brother of Toby Billings

Became obsessed with the mysteries of the place after looking into the 1987 deaths more

Collected old remnants of the closed down restaurants.

Hired by Henry to find the stuff still haunted to put into Fazbear’s Frights, no questions asked

Lowkey scared of Michael saying, quote, “the guy just gives me bad vibes”

Samantha Waylar:

Older sister of Susie Waylar

Quieter, though who’s to say that equals maturity

Preferred to keep to herself and her books

She knew how to stand up for herself and was actually better at telling kids off than her sister was

Swear she loved Oliver more

Stanley Martinez:

Technician at Circus Baby’s Pizza World and Party Rentals

Was into tech most of his life.

Known to be a generally kind man, putting others and their well being before himself

He was never one to snoop around and would prefer staying out of other’s business

Clayton “Clay” Burke:

Father of Carlton Burke. Spouse of Betty Burke

Chief of police. Was a detective when the 5 murders happened, worked on the case.

Though he is at times a little air headed, he is very caring of those around him

Carlton Burke:

Ginger hair, dark clothing

Only son of Carlton and Betty Burke

Childhood friends of Charlie, John, and Jessica

Always the kind to crack jokes when the mood was down and laugh in the face of danger.

Art and theatre kid

John Aowyn:

Messy brown hair, white shirt, brown leather jacket

Childhood friend of Charlie, John and Carlton. Had a crush on Charlie

He was a writer and constantly lost in his own fantasy world that sometimes it was hard to pull him out of

Jessica Sinclair:

Shiny light brown hair, brown doe-eyes, always clean cut, fashionable clothing, contagious smile

Childhood friend of Charlie, John and Carlton

Fiercely loyal to her friends, and would do anything to protect them. She hated seeing them sad or hurt and was always there with bandaids and snacks the moment they needed her

Very perceptive and smart, she had a love of forensics and her friends would often put on mystery hunts just for her

Leslie Dunn:

Round face, light hair, police uniform

Police officer/ Detective

A bit blunt at times though not with the intention of being rude

A bit awkward at times

Jack Flores:

Younger man, greasy hair, bright eyes

Nightshift Security Guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria

Overly curious, couldn’t keep his nose out of other’s business

#retrogradeau #fnaf #fnafau #michael afton #five nights at freddy's

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spnirwin · 4 years

Text

Nobody Fights Alone - Part Five

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x reader

Word Count: 2,307

Warnings: Cancer

A/N: Part five!!! The penultamate chapter of Nobody Fights Alone! Co-written with @anotherspnfanfic. We have one more part coming your way in a couple days. We hope you enjoy! ☺️

Series Masterlist

Part Four

—

Slowly blinking your eyes open, you turned your head to look at the bed beside you. Eddie had his elbow on his pillow and his head rested against his palm. “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered.

You smiled and rolled over to kiss him. “Good morning!”

“Waffles?” he asked, rolling out of bed and reaching his hand out for you to take. You tilted your head in confusion. “I can work a toaster. We have frozen waffles.”

You laughed. “That sounds perfect.” As you sat up to take Eddie’s hand, the smile dropped from his face. “What?”

He nodded towards your pillow. You turned to see two clumps of hair sitting there. Instantly, you ran your fingers through your hair, pulling them away to find another handful. Tears welled up in your eyes and Eddie was beside you again, pulling you into a hug.

“Shh, it’ll be okay. You still look beautiful.” He pulled back and wiped away your tears with his thumb. “I can shave my head, if that’ll make you feel better.”

“That’s sweet.” You chuckled and ran your hands through his hair. “Don’t you dare make this worse by taking your hair away from me, too.”

—

Eddie was getting ready for work. He was wandering around the apartment filling his duffel bag. “Are you sure about this?” he asked.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion. “About hanging out with Christopher today? Why wouldn't I be sure?”

“I mean, are you sure you feel okay?” he asked. “It’s not too late to have Carla come hang out with you guys.”

You stood and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’m fantastic, and all we are doing is watching movies. I promise not to do anything more strenuous than that.” You leaned up to kiss him. “And besides, the station isn’t far away and neither is Carla. I’ll call if we need anything.”

He stared at you silently for a moment. “Alright, fine.” He said goodbye to Christopher and grabbed his bag to leave.

You gave him a hug and a kiss at the door and then turned around to face Christopher on the couch. “How about a Mutant Ninja Turtles marathon?” you asked.

He smiled. “Yeah!”

You made a big bowl of popcorn. Then, both of you got curled up on the couch and you started the movie. Within a few minutes, Christopher had explained Donatello was his favorite. After that, he was fully engrossed.

About an hour into the movie, Christopher looked over at you. You glanced over, meeting his eyes. “What’s up, kiddo?”

He broke into a big, bright smile and leaned over to hug you. “Love you, Y/N,” he said.

You hugged him back. “I love you, too. Thanks for hanging out with me today.”

—

Eddie was sitting on the couch at the station, listening to Hen talk about her dinner reservations for Karen. “Hey, Eddie, don’t you and Y/N have an anniversary coming up?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. Tomorrow, actually.”

“What are you guys doing to celebrate?” Chim asked.

Eddie shook his head and glanced toward the floor. “Nothing, really. Probably order in Chinese and relax at home. Chemo has been kicking her ass this week. She probably won’t want to go out.”

“You don’t have to go out to do something special for her,” Hen said.

Chim added, “Yeah, a candlelight dinner goes a long way.”

Hen smiled and nodded. “Ooh, yes, and maybe a nice bubble bath.”

Buck shook his head. “Can we not talk about bubble baths and my sister, please?”

Everyone laughed.

“Hey, I could make you guys something special for dinner. If you want,” Bobby offered.

The next evening, Eddie had asked you to hang out in the bedroom because he had a surprise for you. You were excited to see what he was planning. He knocked on the door gently before pushing it open. “You ready?” he asked.

You nodded and stood from the bed. He took your hand and interlaced his fingers through yours. He led you into the kitchen where the table was set with a couple candles and a single red rose in a vase. There were also rose petals dusted around the plates. Tears welled up in your eyes at the sight. “Oh, my god. It’s beautiful.”

He smiled and leaned in to kiss you. “Happy Anniversary, corazón.”

“This is amazing. You are amazing.”

You both sat to eat. You shared favorite memories of your relationship, some of which had you in tears of laughter.

After dinner, he disappeared into the bathroom to run you a bath. The room was similarly filled with candles and rose petals. You soaked until your fingers started to get pruney. Finally, you curled up on the couch with Eddie and he turned on Dirty Dancing.

You smiled as it started. “It’s been forever since I watched this.”

Eddie pressed a kiss to your temple. “Buck mentioned it was always a favorite when you were younger.”

You fell asleep less than halfway through the movie. You stirred when Eddie carried you to bed. “Thanks for tonight. I love you,” you mumbled, still half asleep.

“I love you, too, more than you know.”

—

You were on the couch, cocooned in a mountain of pillows and blankets. Eddie and Christopher were getting ready to go out for the day to give you some time alone with Buck.

First, Christopher stopped in front of you and leaned in to give you a big hug. Next, Eddie leaned over and gave you a kiss. As he pulled away, he ran his fingers down your cheek.

“We gotta go,” he said. ”We’re going to be late for our movie. Buck will be here any minute.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

He bent down and pressed a kiss to your forehead before heading out the door. You heard Buck greet them in the hallway on his way into the apartment.

“Hey, sis,” he said, sitting on the couch by your feet. “What do you want to do today? I was thinking we could go for a nice, long run.” He laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Ha, ha, very funny.” You kicked your feet over his leg and tossed him the remote. “You’re picking the movie today.”

He scrolled through titles for a minute before starting Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He set the remote aside then tossed the end of your blanket over your face. He laughed when you pouted at him.

You tried, unsuccessfully, to pinch his arm with your toes. “Ugh, I need a pedicure. It’s weird not having nail poilsh on.” You sighed.

Buck stood quickly and disappeared down the hall.

“Where are you going?” A moment later, you heard him opening cabinets in your bathroom. “What are you doing?”

He came back carrying your nail polish case. “Pick a color,” he said, setting the polish in front of you.

You gave him a sad smile. “I can’t paint my toenails, Ev.”

“Just pick a color.” He rolled his eyes.

You pulled out your favorite shade of blue and placed it in his waiting, outstretched hand. Next thing you knew, he was attempting to paint your toenails for you. You tried not to laugh every time he messed up a toe.

He finished and looked up at you with a goofy, proud smile. “Problem solved.”

You couldn’t contain your laugh any longer. “Uh, thanks, I think. Pretty sure there is more polish on my toes than the nails, but I appreciate your effort.”

—

You heard the front door open and close, followed by the sound of Eddie’s voice echoing through the apartment. The time on the clock on your bedside table read 5:32. He was home early.

It was his day off and he had spent it with Buck. Your brother had decided he wanted to renovate his kitchen, which had quickly led Eddie to decide that he needed to help. Buck wasn’t exactly known for his skills with power tools, and you knew Eddie was concerned for his safety if he worked alone.

Truth be told, you were grateful for the days of peace that their work provided you. You loved both men dearly, but their hovering was getting a little overwhelming. Having a couple days here and there that were silent, aside from the sound of your own breathing, was a blessing. You were a little over halfway done with your chemo treatments and they were kicking your butt.

Some days, you could barely stand due to the nausea and dizziness. Other days you felt fine, as if nothing was happening. Thankfully, today was a good day physically. Your mental and emotional state, however, were not quite as strong.

You sat up in bed, pressing your fingers to your eyes while desperately hoping they weren’t too puffy. There was a gentle knock on the door before it opened and Eddie’s face was looking back at you.

“Hey, Christopher said you weren’t feeling well.” He entered the room, closing the door softly behind him. “Why did you call Carla to pick him up from school? I could’ve just left Buck’s early.” He crossed the room and sat down beside you on the bed.

“I didn’t want to interrupt you guys,” you said with a shrug. In truth, you had called Carla because you knew she would leave you alone. You hadn’t wanted Eddie home because you weren’t ready to talk yet. He wasn’t afraid to push and could see through you in about two seconds. That’s exactly what he was doing currently as he studied your face. There was no more hiding from him.

“What’s going on?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper. The tears you had been crying all day resurfaced, slipping down your cheeks in their familiar pattern.

“I’m so tired of crying.” You barked out a short, humorless laugh. Crying had always been your reaction to any sort of strong emotion, but since beginning chemotherapy it seemed that you were doing it at the drop of a hat.

“Well, talk to me about what’s going on in that head of yours. Maybe we can get the tears to stop for a bit.” Eddie was looking at you so earnestly that it was almost too much to bear. You were certain that you didn’t deserve him.

“I shaved my head,” you said, slowly nodding your head. “I shaved my head because my hair started falling out. Now, I wear a wig because I’m too vain to let go of something as simple as my hair. If I can’t let go of my hair, how am I supposed to let go of my ability to have children?” You choked on the last word, barely audible through your growing sobs.

“Hang on, back up. Take a breath. You lost me there at the end. What are you talking about?” Eddie’s brows furrowed together, clearly confused.

“I found out today that chemotherapy can affect my fertility. I could go into early menopause, or it could damage my eggs. Even if I do wind up pregnant, the chances of having a miscarriage are much higher. Do you understand what that means for me? For us? No babies. Not together, anyway.” Your chest was heaving with the force of your breaths. You were nearing hysterical, unable to process this newfound information.

“Oh, Y/N.” Eddie’s voice dripped with sadness and sympathy. He placed his hand on your leg and squeezed. “We don’t know for sure this is something that’s going to happen. I know it’s all overwhelming and this is just one more layer piling on. We’re going to need to take this one step at a time here, okay? When this is all over, we’ll go see a fertility specialist and get this figured out. As much as I would love to have kids with you, I’m thankful to just have you. It’s enough for me to just have you here and healthy. So let’s just focus on that right now, alright? Let’s get you healthy before we worry about what comes after. One step at a time.”

You bit your lip and nodded as you processed his words. He was right, as per usual. You needed to tackle one problem at a time instead of staring at the giant mountain in front of you. If you ended up not being able to have children at the end of all of this, that was something you could figure out together.

You took a deep breath, the tears finally beginning to slow. “I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s a lot to handle all at once. You’re doing so much better than I ever could. You’re the strongest person I know.” Eddie smiled before pulling you into his chest.

You sat together for a while, completely wrapped up in each other. Eddie’s love and support were endless, and you still couldn’t believe you had gotten so lucky with him.

After a fair amount of time had passed, Eddie pulled back and looked at you. “Are you hungry? I can order a pizza, I’m sure our boy is starving out there.” He pointed towards the bedroom door and the living room beyond it.

You smiled and nodded, moving to get up off the bed. Before you could stand, Eddie pulled you closer one more time and pressed a kiss to your lips. “I love you,” he said softly.

“I love you, too,” you replied. “And thank you.”

Sitting on the couch later that night with your feet jammed under Eddie’s leg and Christopher snuggled against you, you smiled. It was there that you realized that if your family stayed just like this for the rest of your life, you would still be the luckiest person in the world.

—

Tags: @beth-winchester21 @ lovinnholland @ashtonirwin1234567 @jackiehollanderr @ylirasblog

#eddie diaz #eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz fanfic #eddie diaz fanfiction #eddie diaz oneshot #eddie diaz drabble #evan buckley #evan buckley fanfic #evan buckley fanfiction #evan buckley oneshot #evan buckley drabble #9-1-1 #9-1-1 fanfic #9-1-1 fanfiction #shannon writes

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darklingichor · 3 years

Text

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton *Major Spoilers*

I did not plan to revisit this one because I still have it mostly memorized from when I read it over and over as a teenager.

I loved this book so much, even though my life was worlds away from Ponyboy's, I related to him.

This is probably the most influential book I've ever read. I found out it was written when S.E. Hinton was a teen and I thought "Maybe I can do it too."

I soon found that I was far too sensitive to let people read what I wrote, I couldn't get around the idea of pouring part of myself into something and having someone tell me it sucks.

Now, I realize that's pretty rich considering this blog, but I couldn't do it as a kid and even now it feels a little like saying "please judge my spleen for your liking. If it is found lacking, by all means throw it in the shredder. Fear not, I will feel every cut."

This is why very few people have ever read my fiction.

That's also why, with a couple of exceptions I try to be very respectful of every book I read.

Anyway, what made me return to The Outsiders was that I discovered that there was a 50th anniversary edition. This hardcover has extras, my finger was hitting buy before I even registered it.

So, reread it for the first time in a long time.

I sank into the sweet nostalgia of the story. Reading this book is like sliding on a well worn pair of jeans. This book introduced me to Robert Frost.

I taught myself to type using the poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" because I had it memorized and would never get tired of it.

I still love the friendships and family bonds presented in the story. I still got a knot in my throat when Johnny died and Dally lost everything. I cried when Ponyboy found Johnny's letter. By God, but I still love this book.

I did notice that some things hit differently now than they did even when I read it once in my 20's.

The first thing I noticed is akin to when you watch The Little Mermaid as an adult and Arial says that she's sixteen and not a kid

and you laugh out loud because, girl, you are a zygote, shush!

When Cherry says to Ponyboy, she could fall in love with Dallas Winston so she hopes she never sees him m again. When I was a kid reading this,familar with The Breakfast Club, Grease, etc, this seemed like a natural statement.

Now? My first thought was "Oh honey, you're more screwed up than I remembered." Because from their first interaction, Cherry would fall in love with a catcalling construction worker.

Ponyboy says that Dallas said something "Really filthy". In the movie, he asks Cherry howhe was suppose to know if her hair was really red, like her eyebrows were. A roundabout way of asking if the carpet matches the drapes. Bad enough and in the context of the 1960's that might have been dirty enough to be censored from the orginal manuscript, but I always imagined it was worse than that.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, after all, Dally wasn't so much a step up or down from Bob, as a step to the side.

Honestly when I was fourteen and reading this for the first time, I didn't think much of Cherry, I thought she was fake, and very stupid. She was older than me, but I knew it was massively fucked up not to admit she dated a bad guy.

I see her as sad now, and she's a much darker character She's painted as someone with integrity, someone with principles.

She wouldn't take a Coke from Dally.

She tells Bob that it's her or the booze.

Won't take a pop from a hood, threatens to break it off with her boyfriend if he continues to drink. Okay, understandable.

Realize he beat the tar out of, and pschologically scarred a kid for kicks?

He was sweet sometimes.

What?

He was something special.

She says to the kid he and his friends attempted to murder.

"He wasn't just any boy."

Right you are, Cherry. Incidentally, did you have any pets disappear while you dated him?

She's a mixed up girl.

I had many a head cannon for the characters in this book when I first read it.

I thought Ponyboy would grow up to be a writer, Darryl would open his own roofing business, Soda and Steve would work for him while fixing cars on the side. Two-Bit would work with them when he felt like it, or he would end up hitching to California to be a stand-up comic.

I thought Cherry would end up married to someone who worked for her father, who I imagined was a lawyer.

After this read through? I adjusted that future.

We met Randy again in That was Then, This Is Now. He's a hippie, which makes perfect sense. I see Cherry running off to Haight Ashbury. I don't get farther than losing sight of her red hair on a crowded, sunny sidewalk, but I get the same spooky vibe I always got after reading Rumble Fish.

Something else that hit differently, the relationships between the boys.

It hit differently for me because I know now why I love it so much.

I remember being in a major reading slump before I picked up this book. See, I couldn't get into the books that were marketed to me. I wasn't in to RL Stine, except for the history of Fear Street books. I couldn't get into Christopher Pike at all.

I was reading mysteries and westerns, but I really wanted something that had people my age in it that wasn't a romance or sick lit. I'd read enough of those, and I thought that if I read one more book where boy meets girl then one of them croaks I would scream.

So I went to my mom's bookshelf, and found her copy.

I really loved that the real connections that are focused on, are between friends and family. These connections were not treated as being less than a romantic relationship. In fact, just the opposite, the gang see each other as their cement relationships. Soda and his girlfriend Sandy break up, he's hurt and it adds to an already rough time, but it is not a focus.

I suppose it could be argued that the reason for the lack of focus on romance has to do with the fact that Pony states that he's not thinking of it yet. But seeing how all of the gang look out for each other from Darryl keeping the Curtis's door unlocked in case one of the boys needed a place to crash, to everyone looking out for Johnny, to Johnny staying with Pony when he was upset after his fight with Darry, and looking out for him when they were in hiding, to Dallas helping them find a place to go after Bob was killed, to Pony sticking by Johnny after the killing, to Two-Bit sticking up for Johnny when his mother came to the hospital and how broken up he was when Ponyboy got sick, and finally how one of Johnny's last acts was to write Ponyboy a letter that he hoped would help both Pony and Dallas.

These are not friendships that end when everyone starts dating.

This seems like a "duh" statement, but you have to think, so many things show friendships as training wheels. Something you use until you reach the next level and find a romantic partner. And, maybe this was just my small town, but that was very much the way things went around me, it was expected.

It was great to read a book about kids around my age who didn't see friendships as inferior to romantic relationships.

Now, knowing that I'm Aro Ace, I think I liked it because it spoke to what I thought was important without making it seem like something I needed to grow out of.

The extras were cool, letters between the author and the editors when the book was in the works, letters from the actors who played Pony, Johnny, Soda, Dallas, and Randy.

It was interesting to read the actors' feelings about characters they played so early in their careers. I was half hoping Matt Dillon would apologize for choking on, and embodying that gigantic piece of ham during the death scene, but one can't get everything in life.

I could read the other SE Hinton books, and talk about the connections between them, but I will likely skip That was Then, This is Now and Rumble Fish.

See, I didn't like That Was Then This Is Now very much when I first read it. A big reason? I didn't like Bryon. There was just something about the character that rubbed me the wrong way.

He's... I don't know... he's like Two-Bit without the charm. Plus, Ponyboy is featured, but Bryon hates him. It seems out of jelousy because of all the stuff that had happened in The Outsiders. And he hates him even more *because* he's quiet about it. I get distancing the last book from the next and that was an effective way of doing it, but when I was younger it just made me not like the character all the more.

I've read it a few times since I was younger, wondering if it would improve as I aged. It didn't.

Bryon is still mostly unlikeable. Plus, I grew up in the Frying an Egg, Diving into an Empty Swimming Pool, DARE, era of drug awareness. The whole book felt like a PG-13 version of The Buttercream Gang. Now that I have sufficiently aged myself...

Rumble Fish, I loved, but like I said, it's an unsettling story and one that left me oddly unsatisfied.

I really enjoyed the next two, Tex and Taming the Star Runner so I may revisit those.

#books #book #s.e. hinton #the outsiders #spoilers #revisit 5 #Book blogging 2021 #revisit

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justnerdystuffs · 4 years

Text

King and Queen (part 1/2?)

Words: approx. 1.4 k

Warnings: Important character death, swearing, borderline smut

Chapter summary: When someone you thought wouldn’t be a problem threatens Rio, you save his ass. Things happen from there.

NB: This is my first time sharing writing that I’m actually happy with, so any and all feedback is welcome, but please be kind. This is not Beta read. Some of y’all won’t like who I’m killing, but then again, I’ve seen the things posted on this ship before I started writing.

A loaded gun really isn’t that heavy. It’s pointing and shooting it that’s difficult to manage. Like most women in this life, you learned that the hard way. This time around, you don’t think you’ll be having a problem. You promised you wouldn’t end up back here. You swore on his grave. Yet here you were, holding a gun to the head of an innocent woman, protecting the only things you held sacred. At least anymore. The gun she was holding clattered to the ground, likely form her surprise. The man at that was at the end of it looks absolutely shocked. You vaguely wonder how you’ll explain this to him. You wanted to cry. You wanted to cry so badly, to just let the pain work through you in painful sobs until you couldn’t breathe. That would have to wait. For now, you stilled your shaking hands, and ordered her to turn around. Her clearly dyed blonde hair swished as she did. You met her eyes. They were empty. She was a housewife, she had children. How very dare she have the nerve to risk them so she could live in excitement? How could she use them as a shield so she could pick and choose what she wanted to do? That’s not how this business worked. She should know by now. Did she think it would never catch up to her? How Rio had put up with this suburban bitch’s bullshit was beyond you. Did she think she’d be by his side as his girl, maybe even his Queen? The thought fills you with rage. You look into her eyes. “How did you think this would end?” You take in a deep breath and release it slowly, reminding yourself who she’s threatening. You pull the trigger.

The recoil would make you a bit sore later, but you’ll be just fine. The bullet hits it’s desired spot, in the middle of her frontal lobe. Drops of blood spray the floor around her. Some hit your face. They’re like warm water. Just slightly noticeable. You unclip the bullets, and throw them in a trash bag. Methodically, as you keep breathing steadily. The adrenaline and rage are still rushing through you in waves. The woman’s fallen to the floor, lying in a pathetic heap, bleeding all over the floor. Removing the blood will be a pain in the ass. Even more so from the nice coat you’re wearing. Hijo de puta. You glance at Rio. He’s got blood all over, too. “So, what’d you do to piss her off? Leave while she’s asleep?” He chuckles. That deep chuckle that screams trouble from miles away. You get a pack of paper tissues from your purse, and wrap a few around the gun before placing back into the purse. You offer a few to Rio. He walks towards you slowly, avoiding the dead body of his attempted killer. He takes it, and cleans the blood off his face as best he can.

“Why? Are you jealous of the suburban mom?” The very thought of him sleeping with her pisses you off to no end. So what if you are? It’s not like he cares anyway. For either of you. ”How could I be jealous of the dead woman that was just going to shoot you?” you lie smoothly. His eyes fill with something you don’t recognize. “You are, aren’t you, Loba?” Or at least you had thought so up until now. Damn him and his stupid voice, and his stupid meaningful nicknames. You were done with his games. You shake your head stubbornly, and his eyes change instantly. His entire demeanor does. His eyes are angry. There’s actual pain there, too, not the wet eyes from when he’s faking. Fuck. It broke your heart like always with him. “Just go, Christopher.” Instead of leaving you were intending for him to do, he walks closer to you. You take a step backwards, and he follows, backing you further away from the dead body.

He stalks toward you, and you keep backing up, unsure what he’s trying to do. You can’t hear someone entering, you’re too far gone with the blood rush in your ears, and your drumming heart. His eyes are filled with something else now, something you’ve never seen on his face before. His eyes are still angry, but they’re intense. They’re looking all over your face, like they’re looking for something. You don’t know what. His silence is getting to you. Your heart is in your throat. Then it strikes you. Through your hazy mind you realize you’ve just lied to him, and about being fucking jealous of all things. And he knows that. Shit. “I’ve got nothing to be jealous over.” He smirks. You just faked confidence to lie in his face, and he fucking has the nerve to smirk. That goddamn head tilt sends your mind down a very different path. His eyes are still on you, reading you, measuring you, while he’s taking step by step closer, and you’re matching his pace. He cages you against the wall, pushing into your personal space. His right hand is on your hip, gripping it so hard you know you’ll have bruises. The other is holding your chin firmly in his grasp, forcing you to look into his eyes. They’re nearly all black, and fixated on your own. The coldness of his ring is freezing on your face, and you know he knows. The heat from his body so close to yours is overwhelming in the best way possible, sending any hint of control you may have had flying. You can almost feel the hard muscles under his own jacket with him crowding you like this. In a last ditch effort to control yourself and not ruin everything you’ve been building, you try to free your head, but he’s not budging. “Why do you want to get away from me, mama?” His voice is strained, like he’s holding himself back. You can’t tell if he wants to cut you or kiss you. You’re almost daring to hope for the latter.

His hand leaves your chin to your cheeks, still holding you in place, but with less force. Damn it. You push free of his hand, latching yours around his neck, locking him to you. You don’t give yourself time to hesitate, you press your lips harshly to his. They’re soft, warm and dry. The grunt that escapes him tells you he wasn’t expecting that. Not giving you the chance to pull back, he pulls you entirely to him, kissing you back with equal fervor. It’s not soft or gentle. It’s not loving and careful. It’s aggressive, both of you fighting for control, tongues clashing and desperation seeping through. Eventually you let him take charge. It’s hot and dirty, as his tongue explores your mouth, and he pushes you back against the wall, your hands running over his shoulders and back, clawing at him, trying to get closer. He pulls back, catching his breath, and you take the opportunity to kiss down his jaw, tracing his tattoo, alternating between kissing and sucking red marks into his skin. The low groan he makes vibrates through his neck, and you feel it as you move back up to his face, when you kiss, and he returns your assault on his neck with a vengeance. Your chest is heaving as he leaves hot, open mouthed kisses along your jaw, jugular and collarbone. You let out a sound that’s half moan, half whimper, as he sucks a mark into the sensitive skin in the crook of your neck, and your eyes slip shut. You yank him up to your face and kiss him hard again. You lean your head back on the cold wall as you try to get back control of your basic bodily functions. You know, like breathing. That man is one hell of a kisser, that’s for sure.

When you open your eyes to meet Rio’s, he’s got a raised eyebrow, cocky smirk firmly on his lips. That’s when you hear the telltale sound of a gun being loaded. Dammit. Before you know what you’re doing, you’ve pushed past Rio and you’re sheltering his body with yours.

#rio x reader #rio good girls #good girls fanfiction #manny montana #tw muder

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