#how could you two think my flirting is completely empty
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Request (Street Fighter): Married life headcannons for Chun-Li, Cammy, and Juri with their M!S/O's please.
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!!!
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Juri was still confused about how you and her… worked.
She had long gotten past the fact that she cares about you and that she cares about what you think.
And that is confusing to her.
Because no matter what, she is Juri Han.
She is sadistic, vicious, domineering, crass, rude, and all kinds of other unkind things.
And until she met you, she was alone as well.
All of that together with the unwavering support you gave her after Bison kicked the bucket and she was left aimless…
And well… It charmed her.
So, like a particularly vindictive exotic bird, Juri ensured that she would be the only one to catch your eye.
Some blatant flirting here.
A bit of showing off there.
A lot of flaunting and strutting there.
Juri, of course, was completely oblivious to this being how she usually acted but turned up a single notch.
Nonetheless, eventually, one thing leads to another and… bam!
The two of you did, eventually, end up together.
And Juri had to admit, it was nice.
Gone were the days of spending her nights eating food so spicy that seemed to radiate heat equivalent to that of a raging fire as she watched whatever specials were on to distract her from the gnawing pit in her stomach.
Gone were the days of aimless wandering and riding her bike until the wheels fell off as she ran from her fears.
Gone were the days of emptiness and the constant fighting she engaged in to fill that.
Now, she ate meals with you as the two of you watched whatever atrocious action B-Movie she could dredge up.
Now she faced her fears with you at her side, though she did still run her bike until its wheels fell off.
Now, she fought not to fill an emptiness, but to ensure that you and her could continue to live as peacefully as possible.
It was odd to Juri how much her life had changed.
And yet, it was not unwelcome.
Chun-Li is a rather headstrong woman, that much she knows for a fact and it is something she has tried for years to fix, often to little effect.
However, you and Li-Fen help her quite a lot in that regard.
As it turns out, having a family to come home to helps her be quite rational in her decisions.
That aside, to Chun-Li, you are more than her partner.
You are… her best friend, her closest confidant, someone she can trust with anything, even the things she never tells anyone.
It also helps that you do your best to try and keep her from eating all the sweets she wants.
Crepes, the only thing she loves half as much as you.
That aside, you made her feel special.
Like the only girl in the world for you.
She loved that feeling, not just because you made her feel it, but because it was true.
And that was far sweeter than any crepe or candy she could ever hope to find.
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Video Girl - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)
📼 Summary: On the cusp of 1998, your quiet life working at a department store is upended when an attractive new coworker named Seonghwa awakens your desire for sexual exploration.
📼 Word count: 22k
📼 Genre and warnings: smut one shot. coworkers to lovers. fem pronouns for reader. use of a camera during sex. oral sex. unprotected sex. creampie.
📼 fic playlist here.
this fic is not meant to represent seonghwa in any way, shape or form.
Monday, October 6th, 1997
“What happened to the stack of CDs I put right there?”
“Right where?”
“Right there,” You gesture to the empty space that once housed a cluster of CDs that needed to be put on the shelf.
Your coworker, San, pops his head up from where he had been busy sorting through one of the boxes of new inventory. His brows furrow while staring at the spot as if he could magically make the CDs appear.
“What was it?”
“The new Janet Jackson album.”
“The new…oh shit, wait, I might’ve knocked it into this other box,” He ducks back down out of your view and you hear him wildly rummaging around.
With a sigh, you slump against the shelf and stare out at the store which closed half an hour ago. Now, you’re stuck restocking new releases in the CD and VHS section for another hour before your shift ends. At least there are no customers, you think gratefully.
“What’s it called?” San asks, still trying to find what he accidentally misplaced.
“The Velvet Rope, I think,” You reply, wishing your feet didn’t hurt so much.
The stack of CDs really isn’t that important but you just needed an excuse to take a break. It’s been a long day, working a double to cover for someone else, and you were sick of being here about three hours ago. The vest you have to wear while clocked in has long been discarded, tossed onto the counter as soon as the last customer finally got the hell out.
“Wait, I found it,” San says with the same enthusiasm of someone completing a lifelong goal. He circles around the aisle, holding the pile of CDs, “Where should I put them?”
“I’m just stacking them next to Mariah Carey,” You reply while taking them out of his hands and turning back to the shelf, “I don’t care.”
“Fine by me.”
You’ve worked with San for two years now and know him as well as one can know another coworker. He rarely missed a shift, probably because he enjoyed flirting with the women who wandered into the electronics section too much. There were two things San liked to do outside of work: work out and go clubbing with his best friend, Wooyoung. He was good looking to the point that even the ugly work mandated vest couldn’t take away from his jawline sculpted out of marble.
“Thanks for helping me out,” San says.
“It’s cool, dude. I really did not feel like working in my department tonight.”
“You’re sick of organizing all the tube tops? Don’t see any of them you want for yourself?” He jokes, knowing how bored you are of working in the women’s clothing department.
You make a face. “Ugh, as if.”
San leans against the shelf, crossing his arms. “Did you hear about the new guy they hired for the men’s department?”
“No,” You reply, uninterested.
“I heard he’s good looking,” A thought strikes him and in an alarmed tone, he goes, “You don’t think he’s better looking than me, do you?”
You shove the last CD onto the shelf although it teeters close to the edge. You stare at it, willing that it doesn’t fall and when the case stays in place, you finally turn your attention to San. “Why, worried you’re going to no longer be the Resident Hottie?”
“Pfft, no. But…you’ll let me know, won’t you?”
You lean down and pick up one of the boxes of CDs, balancing it on your knee until you get a better hold on it. “Why are you buggin about a new hire?”
“I’m not buggin about him,” San protests quickly.
“Yes, you totally are. I’m sure he’s nothing special. Don’t worry about it,” You turn away from San, getting ready to head down another aisle to finish putting the CDs away, “I can’t even remember the last time we hired someone who impacted me outside of asking and then promptly forgetting their name.”
San looks mollified, taking comfort in the fact that everyone knows he is the hottest guy working in the store. You plop the box down, sorting through it to see what to put away first.
The routine is comforting in that sort of mind numbing manner, the same pace of your life unchanging with no disruptions on the horizon. Tomorrow, you’d wake up and be here again to sort out ugly women’s clothing and clean up the fitting rooms after old ladies leave piles everywhere.
That’s how it always goes, how it will continue to go.
Tuesday, October 7th, 1997
“I don’t want this one,” A customer declares, thrusting a crushed velvet mini dress into your arms, “Or this.” A denim dress is tossed as the customer saunters off back into the aisles of clothing racks.
You stand there, momentarily bunching the fabric in your hands with irritation before collecting your features into a pleasant expression. You go back to organizing the clothing from the fitting room racks to put them away. There are two hours left in your shift and your feet hurt yet again.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt,” A voice cuts cleanly through the music being piped into the building. It is deep, almost melodious and you look over your shoulder curiously, expecting to see a lost looking man trying to find something to buy for his wife or girlfriend.
There is, in fact, a lost looking man standing there but his blue vest indicates he’s a coworker. The slightly confused expression combined with the outfit leads you to believe this is the man San had been talking about the other night.
“I just started working here yesterday and the person who was supposed to be training me called out so I’m running the men’s department alone. I just had some questions and was hoping you could help me.”
The man is tall and slender with black hair carefully combed. The ugly blue vest does nothing to take away from his uniquely pretty face – beautiful brown eyes with a strong nose, perfectly straight white teeth and full lips. In his hands is a small collection of clothing, long fingers splayed out across to stop it from tumbling onto the floor. His shoes look brand new, the shine making it obvious. A belt loops around his small waist, wearing simple dress slacks.
You’re so used to going through the motions at work, typically zoned out that only something absolutely wild could shatter you from that usual feeling. Seeing someone so pretty against the backdrop of the woman’s department brings you up short.
“Uhhhh,” You go before managing to collect yourself swiftly, replying, “Yeah, I can help you,” Your eyes fall onto his nametag, and you tentatively say his name aloud for the first time, “Seonghwa.”
He smiles, a sort of strange smile in which he looks vastly uncomfortable, saying your own name after reading it from your tag. You trail after him, cutting through the organized racks of the women’s department into the general shitshow of the men’s.
For some reason, it was impossible to keep a full team in the men’s section. They always quit or just stopped showing up. Over the two years you worked here, you normally didn’t speak to anyone in the men’s department too much since they never seemed to last long. That meant the department always looked like a group of wild school children tore through it regularly and today is no exception.
Seonghwa takes you to a large box dumped unceremoniously onto the counter near the men’s fitting rooms. “I was told to process these returns but I don’t…actually know how to do that,” He admits bashfully.
“Oh, it’s not difficult. I can show you.”
He looks relieved, thanking you. As you begin to show Seonghwa the process, you sneak a glance at his face out of the corner of your eye. His eyelashes are long, his lips prettily plump and his skin seemingly perfect. What planet did this dude come from? You wonder, unsure how someone like him stumbled into working at a store like this.
“You know how to fold the clothes the right way?” You ask at one point.
“Yeah, I’ve worked retail before in my last town.”
“Oh, you moved here?”
Seonghwa looks up as you hand him a particularly ugly dress shirt made from a shiny fabric. In the horrendous fluorescent lights which make almost everyone look garish, he seems to be immune.
“Yeah, just a couple weeks ago. Not far away, just a few towns over.” He quickly changes the subject off himself, “Have you worked here long?”
“Around two years.”
“Do you like it?”
“It’s retail,” You reply dryly, “I think it is the same everywhere.”
The corners of his lips turn up for a second. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Seonghwa turns his attention back to the pile of clothes, folding them swiftly. You watch the way his long fingers smooth out the fabric before expertly folding it. Every movement of his seems to be precise and completely under control, a far cry from yourself.
“Are you settling in okay then?” You ask, trying to wiggle more information out of this professional handsome guy who for some reason is working at this shitty store instead of modeling overseas somewhere.
He carefully folds another shirt while replying, “Yeah, I’m doing alright. Have you always lived here?” Another deflection. It’s growing obvious Seonghwa doesn’t want to talk about himself.
“Yeah, I have. It’s really nothing special though. Pretty generic place.” You study his face while asking the next question, “Why did you pick here?”
Without missing a beat, he goes, “It was convenient. What do you like the most about living here?”
You find his answer curious but decide asking Seonghwa questions is pointless because he only swiftly tries to put the conversation back on you.
Stumped by his question, mostly because nothing really comes to mind, you finally settle on, “The weather is alright.”
He tilts his face in your direction at your answer, one eyebrow slightly raised. “That’s it?”
You shrug, “Yeah, I guess.”
His gaze is heavy on you, a beat too long before turning his attention back to folding the clothes. You swallow hard, wondering why you feel so unnerved. As beautiful as Seonghwa is, he has the sort of intense presence that knocks you a little off balance, almost as if he can see some part of yourself that most people cannot.
“Alright, finished.” His voice brings you back to the moment as he picks up the clothing, “Do I just put them back now?”
“Yup, that’s it. Do you want me to help you?”
“No, I got it. I should start learning where everything goes,” He turns to go and then stops, looking over his shoulder, “Thanks for your help. I appreciate it.”
“It’s no biggie. You can pop over again if you have any other questions.”
He smiles again, exposing the most perfect teeth you’ve ever seen. “Alright, thanks. Talk to you later.”
You give him a small wave, turning around to head back to your section, wondering why you feel so thrown off balance over someone you’ve known for ten minutes.
*
“So, how is he?”
“Who?”
“Don’t play coy with me,” San says, leaning closer to you, “The new guy.”
You’re in the break room, poking at the unappealing lunch you brought. The break room is covered in tacky motivational posters, a bulletin board filled with random flyers about things like worker safety, requesting time off and a garage sale ad. A small TV in the corner shows the local news. The image, as usual, is extra grainy due to the bad signal off the cheap antenna. There is no break from the harsh fluorescents even in this room.
“You saw him, didn’t you?” He presses.
You relent and reply with a casual, “Yeah, I saw him.”
“And? What’s he like? Is he hotter than me?”
Another noncommittal shrug. “He’s…different. He’s friendly, don’t get me wrong, but he seems distant. I guess he moved here from a town nearby. That’s all I know about him.” San is staring at you with a serious expression on his face. You shift uncomfortably in the hard chair, finally glaring at him. “What?”
He points at you sternly. “You do think he’s fine.”
“What?” You bluster. “Where the hell did you get that idea?”
San gestures wildly. “It’s written all over your face! We talk about every new hire in detail and now suddenly, you give me a couple of sentences. What spell did he cast on you?”
“No spell,” You say crossly, irritated at somehow being too obvious when believing you played it cool, “You’re caring too much about my opinion.”
He slumps back in his chair, crossing his arms, pouting. With a sigh, you push your meal away and turn to face him.
“Come on, dude. You’re giving a new hire way too much power. Everyone knows you’re all that and a bag of chips. You think the confused old ladies who still don’t understand what a cordless phone is are not gonna be charmed by you? That they’re suddenly going to head to the men’s department instead?”
“They tip me, you know,” San says defensively, “That’s why it’s important to me. They give me a couple of bucks when I finish explaining what a portable CD player is compared to their 8 track.”
You skirt around the fact it is against company police to take cash tips from customers, opting to continue reassuring him instead. “Don’t give someone else so much power. I mean, look at the size of your arms. No one in the store can compare with that.”
“That’s true,” He says begrudgingly, “Fine. And I’ll give the new guy a shot only cuz you think he’s fly.”
“I don’t – will you stop –” You sputter.
San stands up, snatching his work vest off the table and slipping it back on. “Alright, I’m going. Talk to you later.”
You say bye, now alone in the break room. Normally, you relish the quiet moments here without a coworker talking your ear off. But you’re longing for a pointless discussion, some sort of distraction from the fact that you’ve spent ten minutes around Seonghwa and are seemingly attracted to him.
You’ve fallen into such a routine between work, occasionally going out on the weekends, and watching TV that suddenly finding someone hot is like an electric bolt to your chest. Things have been quiet for so long, in both your mind and life, that the last thing you want to deal with is forming an attraction to a coworker.
Luckily, Seonghwa seems intent to keep mostly to himself. The emotional distance should help, you think, should make it easier not to get swept up in some guy.
Wednesday, October 8th, 1997
Once it hits 4pm, all you care about is punching out and getting home. You’re so wrapped up in this that when you turn around to dart out of the back room, you collide immediately into Seonghwa.
It’s like striking a wall. Even though he’s slender, his body is firm, resulting in you ungracefully flailing for a moment. His hands go to your upper arms to steady you, allowing yourself to recover from toppling back against the wall.
“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” You’re embarrassed by being so spaced out.
Seonghwa, who you have successfully avoided all day, doesn’t seem to be impacted by the collision. He’s still in his work vest but today he’s wearing a long sleeve black shirt. His hands rest on your upper arms and your eyes drop to his fingers, taking note of how they look against the fabric of your clothing.
He clears his throat gently, a mild noise of embarrassment, before dropping his hands back to his sides. “No, I should have let you know I was behind you. My shift is done too so I was just punching out.”
You shuffle to the side, letting Seonghwa finish up. Your heart is beating quickly in that annoying way you’ve been trying to avoid since your last relationship. You should just say goodbye now and head out. But your feet refuse to obey and you find yourself lingering to walk out with Seonghwa.
After shaking out of his work vest and tossing it unceremoniously into his locker, he leans against it, watching as you fumble with your own lock.
“How was your day?”
“Uh, it was alright. What about you? You settling in okay with everything?” You successfully open your locker, shoving your own work vest in there and grabbing your bag.
Turning to meet Seonghwa’s gaze, your eyes unintentionally flick down to his torso. His long sleeve shirt fits him a little too well, is a little too snug, and you’re now acutely aware of his small waist on top of the fact he’s definitely in shape.
“Yeah, it’s going well. A bit disorganized but it’s fine.”
The two of you are leaving the backroom together, cutting through the electronics section. San is milling around in front of a display of Tamagotchis which is already half empty. He glances up and notices you, waving.
“Hey,” He goes, “Oh, you’re the new guy, right?”
You’re secretly hoping San doesn’t embarrass you. Even though you denied thinking Seonghwa is attractive yesterday, you know that San doesn’t believe you for a second.
Seonghwa introduces himself and then glances at the display. “These things go fast, don’t they?”
“Tell me about it. I end up having to restock the display every shift,” San replies disgruntled, “I don’t get it. An electronic pet?”
“I had a Tamagotchi,” Seonghwa muses, “It kept beeping while I was sleeping so I shoved it in a drawer and forgot about it.”
“What happened to it?” San asks.
“It died,” He replies seriously, “I felt pretty guilty.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” San says just as grimly.
You glance between the two men and their bonding moment over a dead Tamagotchi before clasping your hands together. “Okay, well, this has been truly touching but I don’t wanna miss my bus. See you tomorrow, San.”
As you turn to leave, you hear Seonghwa mumble a quick goodbye before catching up with you. “You take the bus to work?”
“Yeah, no car.”
“I can drop you off at your place if you’d like.”
You glance at him in surprise. “You don’t even know if I’m completely out of your way or not. We could live on opposite sides of one another. On top of that, how familiar are you with the town? You got a map in your car or something to help you get home afterwards?”
Seonghwa looks perplexed. “I guess I didn’t think of that.”
The doors glide open as you step out into the late afternoon air. The temperature has dropped since this morning, a chilly bite that cuts through your t-shirt. Seonghwa had the right idea with the long sleeve, you think. Feeling flustered by his invitation to drive you home, you stop walking and turn to face him.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come across so harsh. I just wouldn’t want you going out of your way on my account.”
“I get that,” He replies, a wind kicking up and blowing some of his hair into his eyes which he impatiently brushes back, “But I really don’t mind. I need to learn where everything is anyway.”
Chewing on your bottom lip, you fight the urge just to agree. Logically, you should just take the bus home. If you’re trying to steadfastly ignore the fact that Seonghwa is attractive then obviously being in his car will not help things. But on the other hand, being alone with him also sounds too good.
“Alright, fine. But if you get lost, I warned you.”
He smiles and you can feel it in your chest. Following him to his car, which looks as though it has seen better days, you get into the passenger seat and toss your bag on the floor, looking around. A pair of small dice swing off the rearview mirror, the only decoration in the car. There is nothing else to learn about Seonghwa in here – the car is neat, clean and smells nice.
He stretches out his long legs in his seat, starting the car. You are trying very hard not to stare at him, not notice how smooth his skin is nor how his muscles pull against his long sleeve shirt.
You open your mouth to tell him your address when suddenly Wannabe by the Spice Girls begins to blare out of his car speakers. Startled into silence, you can only watch as Seonghwa looks mortified, quickly slamming his hand down onto the eject button which spits the CD out of the player in his car dashboard.
He grabs the CD swiftly while going, “Uh, I didn’t know – I forgot – ‘’
“Seonghwa, it’s fine,” You reassure him, “It would be stranger at this point if you didn’t own that CD.”
He turns his body to grab something off the back seat, plopping the CD holder into his lap. Quickly, he opens it, flips to a random page with a spot available and hastily shoves the disc inside before closing the big binder of albums. Seonghwa seems to collect himself after a second or two, returning the binder to the backseat and quietly clearing his throat while turning on the radio. Sunday Morning by No Doubt quietly fills the car.
“Alright,” He says, neatly skirting around the Spice Girls incident, his hands wrapping around the steering wheel, “Help me get to your place.”
You give him a couple of directions and soon enough Seonghwa is on a main road. You make a mental note to eventually Map Quest some stuff for him later so he can learn the town layout faster.
Wanting to fill the silence before your brain gets swept up in the mental image of sitting in his lap, you go, “Are you excited for Halloween? Hopefully we don’t get stuck working late.”
“Do you usually do something for Halloween?”
Of course he deflects immediately. You should have known better than to ask Seonghwa a question about himself. “Sometimes. Last year I went to a party but it was a total buzzkill. I don’t know what I’m doing this year.”
“Do you like horror movies?”
“They’re okay. Do you?”
“Yeah, I like them.” Wow, finally an answer out of him! Progress.
“Oh, wait, turn right at this light,” You say as Seonghwa shifts into the other lane.
At the red light, he looks out the side window and says, “So far, this is near my own place. Maybe we don’t live too far away from each other.”
“Maybe.” Did you dare ask another question? “Do you live alone?”
Seonghwa hesitates for a moment and then replies, “Yeah, I do. What about you?”
You spare an extra second to study his face. Every interaction with Seonghwa, while friendly enough, gives you the feeling that he is constantly holding back in some respect. Aspects of himself are carefully hidden, making you wonder what he is like behind the perfectly pleasant façade he shows at work.
“Yeah. Do you like living alone?”
“It’s a little different than what I am used to,” Seonghwa says carefully, glancing at you for a moment.
You point to a road ahead. “You can turn down here.” After he does so, you ask, “What are you used to?”
Seonghwa’s hands tighten around the wheel. You get the sense he is struggling to answer, torn between talking about himself and staying private.
“Listen, Seonghwa,” You begin, “I get the sense you really don’t like talking about yourself. That’s fine. I don’t want to come off all ‘hey, tell me your life story’ and shit. I know we just met.”
There is another red light and the car stops. Seonghwa tilts his face to look at you. You’re struck again by how handsome you find him and how his intense gaze startles you into silence.
“It has nothing to do with you. I don’t mean to seem so closed off.” He turns his attention back to the road, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel before saying, “I moved here because my girlfriend and I broke up recently. I’m not used to living alone because I lived with her.”
“Oh,” You mumble as the light turns green, feeling awkward, “I didn’t mean to – I mean…”
“It’s okay,” He reassures you, his attention back on the road, “I’m a private person but I don’t want to come off rude.”
Quietly, you point out the next turn. It doesn’t take long to stop at the small apartment complex you’ve lived in the past year. Grabbing your bag, anxious to get out of the car after fumbling straight into making Seonghwa feel as if he needed to explain himself, you stop just in time to remember he might not know how to get to his own place.
“I can figure it out,” He claims while you rummage in your bag for a stray sheet of paper and pen.
“No, no, you were nice enough to drop me off. What’s your address?” After he says it, you scribble down rough directions that he can follow and thrust the paper in his direction. “Here, this should help.”
When he takes the paper from you, his fingers brush against yours. Your breath catches at the small touch.
“Listen, I meant what I said,” Seonghwa says, “You don’t need to feel bad.”
“Yeah but I didn’t want you to talk about anything negative like a breakup. That is way uncool of me. It isn’t any of my business why you moved here or who you live with.”
“True but I also don’t wanna come off like a jerk.”
“You weren’t, I just…” You’re struggling to find a safe sentence to land on. How did you not say that you wanted to learn more about him because you were immediately attracted and therefore curious? “Wanted to be friendly. Since we work together.”
“We’re chilling, don’t worry about it. Let me walk you to your door, at least.”
“You don’t need to do that,” You protest even though your heart skips a beat.
“I don’t mind.”
You know that you’re probably supposed to refuse again until Seonghwa relents and even though you still have anxiety from the misstep of having him open up about his past, your desire to be around him for longer wins out. You nod in acceptance, getting out of the car and rubbing your arms in the cold air, reminding yourself to bring a hoodie tomorrow.
Seonghwa circles around the car, waiting for you to shuffle over. The apartment complex isn’t anything special, just two floors and a run down looking pool in the middle that is currently closed for fall and winter. You lead him up to the second floor, stopping in front of your apartment. Seonghwa is peering over the railing to look at the pool. Some of his black hair falls in front of his eyes. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his pants to keep them warm. Your eyes drop to his slender waist and you swallow hard. Everything about this man seems to have been specially created to drive you up the wall.
“You ever use the pool?”
“Not really. Why, do you like swimming?”
“I do. My apartment complex doesn’t have a pool though.”
Without thinking, you offer, “Well, when the pool reopens, you can come here.”
He looks over at you, something flickering across his eyes quickly. Straightening up, he nods, giving you a small smile. “Alright, that sounds sweet.”
Shifting the weight of your bag onto your other shoulder, you go, “Well…thanks again for the ride. Try not to get lost on the way home. Do you work tomorrow?”
“I do.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Seonghwa lingers for a moment. Once again, you get the feeling he is restraining from doing or saying something that might expose too much of himself. It is a curious thing, you think, especially given that you just assumed the whole ex-girlfriend thing is why he was being so reserved. Maybe that’s just him as a person though. Just really private and constantly filtering his behavior through a thousand nets.
“Alright, talk to you later.”
“See you later, alligator,” You reply and immediately chastised yourself for ending on such a corny line.
Seonghwa turns around, walking back towards the staircase. You trace the curve of his shoulders underneath his shirt, getting a brief mental image of your hands flat against the top of them while you’re under his body. Shaking your head to fend off the fantasy, you turn away.
He’s probably incredibly boring in bed. He’s an attractive guy but he’s so mild mannered and pleasant in an easily digestible way. Why get distracted into some annoying crush when the end result won’t be worth it?
Thursday, October 9th, 1997
“Wassup?” San plops down in the chair next to yours while gesturing at the TV. “You watch this?”
Once again, it is mid-afternoon in the break room. You’re eating lunch, staring at the grainy image on the TV that is showing a Buffy the Vampire Slayer ad for the new episode on Monday night.
“No, do you?”
“Nah but Yeosang records it every week to watch.”
Yeosang is San’s roommate. That information doesn’t really surprise you seeing as he also watches The X-Files religiously.
“Well, I bet he will enjoy this episode,” You squint, looking at the ad closer, “About a gigantic reptile thing in a frat house.”
It is at that moment that Seonghwa steps into the break room. He is wearing a short sleeve black shirt today along with the ugly blue vest and a pair of black jeans. San waves when he enters.
“Hey, dude. Are you on break?”
“Yeah, I am.”
San kicks out the chair on the other side of you, motioning to it. “Wanna chill with us?” When Seonghwa isn’t looking, he winks at you. You fight the urge to punch his shoulder.
Seonghwa nods, stopping to get something out of the fridge before settling in next to you. He catches your eye and gives you a small smile. Your cheeks feel warm so you turn your attention back to your sandwich but you can still feel his gaze.
“Damn, I wanna see this,” San interrupts whatever the hell was passing in between Seonghwa and yourself.
“I think the title is kinda goofy though,” Seonghwa remarks.
“You don’t like I Know What You Did Last Summer? I think it sounds a little mysterious. You know, it’s by the same writer as Scream,” San nudges you, “What do you think?”
“I think I haven’t seen Scream so that sentence means nothing to me.”
“Whoa, what, you haven’t seen Scream?” Seonghwa’s attention is back on you, “The sequel comes out soon. You should watch it. It’s really good.”
Slightly desperate for something new to discuss with Seonghwa that didn’t involve asking questions leading to awkward moments, you leap at this opportunity. “Alright. I guess I can see if Blockbuster has it.”
San scoffs. “Are you serious? I’ve been asking you to watch Scream for months – ow!” He winces as your foot collides with his shin under the table.
Seonghwa frowns. “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” San wheezes, “I always forget about the metal bar under the table. Just whacked my leg against it.”
“He’s fine,” You say quickly, shooting daggers at him.
Seonghwa tilts his body in your direction and goes, “I own Scream. I can bring the VHS tape tomorrow if you’re also working.”
“I don’t have a day off until Sunday so I’ll be here. But are you sure? I don’t want you to lend me anything…”
“Yeah, it’s okay. Don’t go to Blockbuster. I always do and then forget and end up owing them an annoying amount of late fees.”
San has quickly forgotten the shin kicking incident and nods in agreement. “He’s right. Avoid it if you can.”
“I’ll bring it tomorrow.”
“Okay, well, thanks.”
“Hey, when you’re done watching it, can I borrow it? Yeosang still hasn’t seen it either,” San goes, “He’s so bad at watching movies.”
“Yeah, that’s no problem,” Seonghwa replies, “I’m still unpacking but I know where it is.”
“Great, thanks dude,” San exclaims before turning his attention back to the TV.
San says something else but you don’t really hear him because Seonghwa is still looking at you. Even though Seonghwa is friendly yet distant, your body seems to react to him in a way that takes you by surprise every time you’re close. It’s the warmth of his body so near combined with his toned arms and perfect skin. The effect is slightly dizzying. Toss in the fact you haven’t had a crush on someone since your last relationship ended three years ago, you are struggling between thinking his personality doesn’t match up with yours and wanting to throw yourself at him. The entire thing is confusing.
Seonghwa’s lips are slightly parted as if he was going to say more but falls silent while staring at you. There is something brewing in his eyes, something you haven’t seen before. It’s intense and your stomach swoops as if leaping off a cliff. His hand presses down hard against his knee to steady himself. He suddenly looks away towards the window, cutting the moment short.
You’re breathless, wondering what the hell that had been about. The way Seonghwa looked at you mingling with the feeling that he was reigning himself in, closing something off – you don’t know what to make of it. Could it be he also is attracted to you and is trying to hide it? In all your interactions with him, he’s been kind and considerate but nothing indicated he saw you in a physical way.
You force yourself into focusing on whatever San is saying, trying to push all the swirling emotions out of your mind.
Friday, October 10th, 1997
You sigh, plopping down on your bed, stretching out. Work today was a chore but Seonghwa had given you his copy of Scream. With San bothering you to watch it quickly so he could let Yeosang borrow it, you figured you’d just watch it tonight before going to sleep.
Leaning over the side of your bed, you rummage through your bag until your fingers feel the edge of the VHS tape. Pulling it out, you gaze at the cover for a few seconds, lost in thought. You’re thinking about how Seonghwa looked today right before his shift ended. You were on your break and he was at the lockers, tugging a hoodie over his head. His white shirt lifted up so slightly that if you hadn’t been already staring at him, you wouldn’t have noticed the quick glimpse of a few inches of hard abdomen. That was enough to send your body into overdrive, something you still hadn’t calmed down from when he came over to hand you the Scream VHS.
“Thanks,” You mumbled quickly, hoping that he didn’t have the ability to read your mind.
“Not a problem. You can just give it to San as soon as you’re done with it. I’m not in any hurry to get it back.”
He gave you that same easy going smile, the type of smile that made you wonder what he would be like if his kind demeanor cracked and he had you pushed against a wall with his lips against your neck.
“Right, yeah, cool.” You said in what you hoped was a casual tone.
When he turned around to leave, your eyes lingered on his waist before turning your attention back to your food, the VHS tape in your lap like a heavy weight.
Dragging yourself back to the present moment, you pull the tape out of the sleeve, finding it a bit curious there isn’t a sticker with the movie name on it. You wiggle to the edge of your bed, shoving the tape into the player. There are a few seconds of VHS tracking and then the picture pops into view.
You’re staring at a palm tree against a blue sky, slightly out of focus. The tape goes grainy for a moment and then the camera swoops downward. Someone’s face comes into view, filling up the lens before their hand pushes the camera away while they are laughing.
Uh, okay, this is not what I thought the movie was gonna look like, you think while squinting at the TV.
“Can you get the camera out of my face?” comes a familiar voice.
“Stop, you love when the camera is on,” A woman replies coyly.
The shot snaps into focus then, showing Seonghwa against a wall. He is wearing a sleeveless white and blue striped shirt, his black hair ruffling in the wind. The sight of him is like a punch to your chest, knocking the air out of your lungs. His smile is bright, completely different from the ones you’ve seen at work. It is unguarded. Even his posture is relaxed with none of the slightly stiff professional nature he has at work.
Entranced, you can only stare as the scene continues. Seonghwa runs his long fingers through his hair, his smile turning into a grin.
“So do you,” He counters.
You can hear the sound of ocean waves just off screen. He turns his face to the side, the camera lingering on this for a moment before it lowers for a second, showing a wooden pathway. It cuts suddenly, immediately shifting into another scene.
Seonghwa is standing on the beach now, slipping his shirt off and tossing it onto the blanket that is on the sand. You didn’t think it was possible to see him look so comfortable in his own skin. He doesn’t seem to be shy at all, staring at the camera with a challenging look on his face. On top of that, the sight of Seonghwa shirtless is bowling you over. He is toned, tanned and has muscles you want to press your hands against.
“What?” He goes.
“Nothing,” The woman says, “I can’t film you getting into the water?”
“You’re just filming me undressing.”
“Well, it’s not the first time, is it?”
He rolls his eyes but there is a good natured expression on his face. He shoves his thumbs into his swim trunks, tugging them down half an inch before exploding into laughter and turning around, jogging towards the water.
Another cut. New scene. This has to be him and his ex. I need to turn this off. It’s obviously not meant for me.
Seonghwa is sitting at a table in a diner, looking over a menu. He raises his eyes, making eye contact with the camera then he laughs again. He looks relaxed, his smile bright and posture resting comfortably against the booth.
“You look wicked good tonight,” The woman remarks and Seonghwa playfully shakes the menu in her direction.
“Good thing you’re getting it on camera, right?”
“Exactly.” She zooms in a little more. “Do you want to tell the imaginary audience what we’ll be filming later?”
“Oh, well, I think the imaginary audience knows by now what we like to film,” He says with a mock seriousness that makes your heart constrict. “Isn’t that right?”
The woman giggles and the scene cuts suddenly. This time the camera is in a bedroom with the lens focusing on Seonghwa once again. He is shirtless, close to the camera.
“You gonna keep it on while I fuck you?” He says in a low voice.
The woman doesn’t reply, just giggles.
Seonghwa’s eyes drop for a moment before locking back onto the camera. You’ve never seen such an expression on his face – a combination of lust and reveling in the fact the entire thing is being filmed. It is as if the exterior you’ve seen on him since he began to work at the store is all bullshit, a lie in which he hides behind, and you’re seeing him for real now through the lens.
“Maybe I’ll film you when my cock is down your throat,” He continues, “You want that?”
The woman titters again before going, “Yeah, I want that.”
Seonghwa grins, moving back a little so that his entire body is in view. The low light makes it difficult to fully make him out but you can see the curve of his shoulders, the stiffness against the fabric of his boxers, and the way he motions for her to come closer.
“Then give me the camera and get on your knees,” He says sternly while lowering one hand towards his boxers, starting to pull them down –
The sight of Seonghwa about to expose himself finally snaps you out of your shock. Quickly, you lean over and smash the eject button on the tape, yanking it out of the machine and dropping it to the floor as if it is going to burn you.
You stare at it, breathless, your mind spinning. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where that tape was going to lead. After all, people still talked about the tape of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee; it had been covered in media for months and was still often a topic of conversation.
You are aware Seonghwa just moved and the tape must be misplaced. Do you tell him? Do you just pretend you watched Scream and not mention it? But San wanted to borrow the copy as well. Obviously, he couldn’t get his hands on it. You could lie and say the tape didn’t play. But the excuse wouldn’t work because Seonghwa would try it on his own player and realize what was really on it. You could pretend you lost the tape and destroy it. But that also didn’t seem right. It wasn’t your tape, after all, and eventually Seonghwa could put the pieces together and believe you kept the tape to watch or worse. It felt as if the only choice would be to come clean to Seonghwa and let him know he accidentally gave you the wrong tape.
On the other side of things, you couldn’t believe how different Seonghwa was on camera. There was such a relaxed, casual demeanor to him. He seemed more at ease in front of the lens than in reality. For the first time since meeting him, it felt that you truly saw him. The quiet confidence, no hint of shyness in the way he spoke or removed his clothes. On top of that, his body was absolutely banging in a way that made your thighs clench and hands bunch up in your blanket.
Then give me the camera and get on your knees.
You think about that moment in the break room when Seonghwa’s eyes were heavy on yours and his hand gripped his knee. The little bit of his true personality coming through before being shoved back down, perhaps? Just an hour ago, you thought everything about Seonghwa had been figured out. Not anymore.
Your mind flashes back to his smile and the expression on his face while the camera filmed. Unguarded. Exposed. Hiding behind nothing and leaving everything, including sex, on a VHS tape.
What would such a thing be like? A small voice in your head wonders.
Saturday, October 11th, 1997
“Hey, good morning.”
You jump out of your skin, slamming your locker door shut and turning to see Seonghwa standing there.
“Hi, Seonghwa! How’s it hanging?!” You exclaim loudly with such false cheer that you inwardly wince.
Seonghwa outwardly winces. “You’re at an excitement level I can’t quite reach given we are at work.”
Then give me the camera and get on your knees.
You make a garbled noise in response, eyes darting all over the place. You can’t stare at Seonghwa’s face because then you think of his unguarded smile. You can’t stare at his chest because then the mental image of his abs pops into view. You can’t even look at his small waist, something that had been giving you great pleasure to sneak glances at during the week, because you’re picturing the way he was tugging down his boxers.
“Are you…uh…feeling alright?”
“Yeah, just didn’t sleep well,” You say quickly, “Tired.”
His eyes move to your locker and he gestures to it. “Oh, did you watch Scream?”
Your head turns sharply. The VHS tape is poking out of the top of your bag. You stammer out a collection of gibberish, stalling for time. You didn’t want to have this conversation right now; you had been picturing it after work, maybe in his car or something. Not in the break room before it hits ten in the morning.
Seonghwa looks perplexed once again. You don’t blame him.
Finally, you settle on, “I would really like to discuss the tape with you.”
His features brighten. “Yeah, sure.”
“After work?”
Confusion once again but he slowly replies, “Alright.”
You scurry past him, shouting your goodbye while exiting the room and hurrying to the women’s department. Seonghwa’s smile from the tape is still blazing across your brain in vivid colour and no matter how much you try not to think about it, you can still see the lascivious look in his eyes as he began to remove his boxers.
You’ll tell him after work, you think desperately, even though it will be mortifying and he most likely will never speak to you again.
As long as you get through this shift without losing your cool, everything should be fine. Just don’t think about him on the tape. Don’t think about him having sex and recording it. Don’t think about how relaxed he looked. Don’t think about how sexy his body looked.
Should be simple.
*
You manage to avoid Seonghwa the entire day, including an awkward moment where you wedged yourself into a clothing rack as he walked by. You were worried about blurting out what was on the tape in the middle of his work shift or even worse – admitting that you were curious about how he filmed himself doing such things and how it felt to let go with a camera on. In quiet moments when a customer wasn’t bothering you, your mind travels back to him like an overplayed record.
You have a difficult time wrapping your head around the Seonghwa on the tape and the Seonghwa in reality. Always polite, yet distant, always kind but professional, in the few days you’ve known him, you’ve bounced between wanting him physically and believing his personality would keep a deeper connection from potentially forming.
But on the tape, you viewed Seonghwa as to how he truly is. There is no façade when the camera is on him. You see him unfiltered. The hint of mischief in his smile, that sense of freedom when he was jogging towards the waves, his quiet confidence when he was talking dirty – why were such things hidden in his day to day life?
By the time the end of your shift comes, you are anxious to get the tape and tell Seonghwa you need to talk. Since you were finishing shifts at the same time, you figured you’d wait for him in the break room. It is a little past seven by the time you enter. The break room has a couple of employees milling around but not San, who snuck out an hour earlier in order to hit up the club with Wooyoung.
Standing in front of your locker, you reach for the lock but as your fingers graze the cold metal, you realize with a jolt it is unlocked. With a small sigh, you realize San must have opened it earlier. You had a bottle of ibuprofen in your locker that he would use occasionally and eventually gave him your locker combination so he would stop bothering you.
But as you reach for your bag, your eyes narrow. Heart thudding, you rummage around in it with growing panic. The VHS tape isn’t in the bag. The tape isn’t in the bag.
“What the fuck?” You hiss in between your teeth, your heart plummeting.
You are about to upend the bag onto the floor when Seonghwa’s voice cuts through. “Hey, finishing up too?”
Surprised, you jump, flattening your back against the locker, clutching the bag against your chest. “Seonghwa! Hey! Hi!”
“Lots of enthusiasm for work today,” He notes, removing his work vest. His slender fingers twist the dial on his locker. You stare at them, momentarily transfixed. He glances at you. “What?”
“Nothing. No, that’s a lie. Seonghwa, I seem to have misplaced the tape.”
“Oh, Scream? Nah, San came to me earlier and said he noticed it was in your locker. I told him you watched it and he grabbed it before he left to give to his roommate. He said he was cutting out early to head to the club or something. Yeosang…that’s his roommate, right? San mentioned that Yeosang was gonna watch it with him and everyone else later tonight.”
Every word out of his mouth, every word tumbling out of his beautifully plush lips, makes you want to sink into the planet’s core. The panic that had been wiggling in your brain while looking for the tape is now washing over your body like a cold wave.
You picture Yeosang, whom you have only met briefly before, hitting play on the video. A room filled with his friends plus San and Wooyoung. The video starting, them seeing Seonghwa. How long would they let the tape run? Probably to where you ejected it. Enough for them to know what is on that tape, enough for them to know what Seonghwa does for fun.
You drop your bag to the floor in shock, reaching out for Seonghwa. Your hand grips the front of his sweater. His eyes widen in surprise.
“Seonghwa,” You say in a choked voice.
He looks a bit flustered, eyes darting over your shoulder to see if anyone else is seeing this. “H-hey, I…” He swallows hard. “I…”
“Seonghwa, that movie isn’t on the tape.”
His nerves, possibly because he thought you were literally throwing yourself at him during work, are now washed away in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Scream is not on that tape. It’s…something else,” You steel yourself, plunging forward, “It’s a home video. Of you and your ex.”
The colour immediately drains from Seonghwa’s face. Your grip loosens on his shirt, watching as he goes through a myriad of facial expressions before settling on something that looks blandly neutral. You’re amazed at how quickly he collects himself.
“I didn’t watch it,” You say hurriedly, talking a mile a minute, “Well, I watched like 3 or 4 minutes but then it was starting to get a little….anyway, I shut it off then. I was going to tell you. I brought it back today so I could tell you after work. I just didn’t think San was going…okay, it’s fine. It’s fine. We’ll page him. He’ll know to call here, right? I’ll just page him.”
Seonghwa takes a slow deep breath. You can’t tell if he wants to scream, cry, or punch something. His calm demeanor does nothing to relax your own nerves. You don’t know what he is thinking. You go back to digging through your bag, pulling out the tiny phone number and address book you keep in there. Quickly, you head to the break room phone, yanking it off the receiver while flipping through the book to find San’s beeper number. You page him, hurriedly inputting the phone number of the store before hanging up.
“Okay, we’ll just wait here for a few minutes. He’ll call back.”
You aren’t sure if Seonghwa heard you. Looking over your shoulder, you see him standing in the same exact spot, his back to you.
“Uh…Seonghwa?” You say tentatively. “Are you freaking out?”
He turns around then, his features still amazingly collected in an extremely calm appearance. “Do you know where San lives?”
“Where he lives? Yeah, I do. Oh, you want to go there?” You glance at the clock. “Yeah, I mean, it might be too early for him to be at the club. But shouldn’t we wait in case he calls?”
“No,” He says curtly, “You’ll come with me and show me where his place is.”
“Oh – oh, okay. Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”
You can hardly keep up with Seonghwa’s long strides, scampering behind him as you exit the store and into the chilly weather. Tightening the hoodie you’ve managed to shove yourself into while following him, you get in his car silently. Even though Seonghwa is amazingly calm, you can tell he is on edge. The veneer he portrays to the world is on thin ice and you can almost feel the roiling tension under his skin. He starts the car and the radio plays softly.
Pulling out of the parking spot, Seonghwa gets to the exit and grunts, “Tell me how to get to his place.”
“Okay,” You say, adding on, “You’ll take a left at the light,” You hesitate before going, “Seonghwa, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.’’
His hands tighten on the wheel, the only indication of his stress. “It isn’t your fault. I should have checked the tape before I gave it to you. Due to my move and breakup, things are all over the place. I don’t even know how it ended up in the Scream case.”
“Even so, I should have turned it off immediately. I just…” What do you even say? I was entranced by how different you were on camera. I’m deeply attracted to you and I want to get to know the version of you that was on the tape. I’m curious about what you do for fun. Maybe a little too intrigued for my own good.
“It’s fine,” Seonghwa interrupts you swiftly, “I really don’t want to discuss the tape while this is on.” He gestures to the radio which is currently playing Supermodel (You Better Work). “Just a little too ridiculous for me right now.”
You fall silent, the words tumbling around in your chest. “A right up here,” You mumble after a couple of minutes.
You know it is a morally grey area to keep thinking about Seonghwa in the bedroom, talking openly about getting his dick sucked and filming it. You know it’s wrong to wonder what the rest of the tape looked like. Your curiosity feels like a mark against your moral code.
Fifteen minutes later, you have pulled up to the apartment complex that San resides in. Getting out of the car, you study the building, trying to remember what number his apartment is.
“The door,” Seonghwa points, “You don’t happen to have a key to get into the foyer, do you?”
“No. I guess we can buzz and see if anyone answers. But I…I can’t remember his apartment number.”
He looks at you swiftly. “Please try to remember.” You can tell it is taking him great effort to keep his voice even and not start shaking you.
But you’ve only been here a couple of times so nothing appears in your head. Seonghwa takes off towards the door, giving you no choice but to follow. He stands in front of the door, looking around to see the chances of someone coming by so he could slink in after them.
“You remember it yet?”
“No, sorry.”
He turns to the set of apartment numbers written out across the buzzers and randomly hits one. No answer. He presses another one.
“Is this your plan?” You ask.
“Yes,” He replies calmly.
“What are you going to do if someone answers?”
“Lie.”
You aren’t sure what to say. This is yet another new side of Seonghwa, one driven by the desperation of someone seeing the tape and finding out what he’s really like.
On the fourth buzz, someone gruffly goes, “Who is it?” The speaker crackles.
“Hi, I live a few places down from you and forgot my key,” Seonghwa says smoothly, “I’m so sorry to bother you. I just wanted to get buzzed in real quick.”
“Yeah, whatever.” The door clicks open and the speaker goes silent.
Seonghwa grabs the door handle, shooting you a look as he holds it open. You slip past him into the entrance of the building. Once you stand in the foyer, staring at the row of small mailboxes, the apartment number bounces back into your brain.
“It’s #1117!” You declare, happy at your brain’s ability to recall such a fact.
“Great, let’s go,” Seonghwa says while walking towards the elevator, pressing the button.
The foyer is silent as the two of you wait for the elevator to come down. You bounce on the balls of your feet a little, your nerves getting the best of you. You’re worried about Seonghwa, you’re worried about someone seeing that tape and his secret getting out and you’re still dealing with the fact your mind won’t drop mental images that it shouldn’t be thinking about.
In the elevator, Seonghwa exhales slowly. It is the only sign of tension brewing in him. You marvel at how calm and collected he is. If you were in this situation, there would be no chance of being in control. You’re barely in control of your emotions now, dealing with something that technically would have no impact on your life.
The doors glide open and Seonghwa marches down the quiet hallway. His steps are muffled against the carpet, coming to a stop in front of San and Yeosang’s apartment. He rings the doorbell but there is no reply. He tries again. Nothing.
“Maybe they really have gone to the club already,” You suggest.
In response, Seonghwa bangs his fist against the door before resting his hand against the wood, closing his eyes. You can feel the energy crackling off him, just like that moment in the break room the other day - that same sensation of him wrangling himself under control, shoving his real self into a small box and tying it up with a bow.
“Do you know what club they go to?”
“Yeah. It’s nearby.”
“Let’s go.” He turns around to return to the elevator.
“Wait,” You hurry after Seonghwa, “We’re just going to go to the club and what?”
“Ask where the tape is. If it’s in the apartment, I’m going to ask for San to get it for me. If he still has it on him, I’ll just ask for it back.”
“How are you going to explain why you need it so badly without…you know.”
The elevator arrives and he steps inside. “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out when we get there.”
You stand next to him, feeling the warmth off his body. He’s wearing a form fitting white sweater today due to the temperature and you cannot help but notice how it lays across his chest. His black jeans are also snug against his slender waist. It is difficult to look at him and not picture the images of him on the beach and in the bedroom. Cheeks getting warm, you stare steadfastly ahead at the elevator doors, which finally open to release you from the ever growing tension.
Back outside, Seonghwa is hurriedly walking back to the car. The sun has fully dipped below the horizon now, the last strands of dying daylight long gone. You cross your arms, the cold seeping into the fabric of your hoodie.
“Seonghwa,” You say tentatively as he reaches the car, “Do you wanna talk about it now? Since Rupaul isn’t playing, I mean.”
“I really don’t.”
“I don’t want to make things awkward between us.”
His hand, hovering over the handle of the car door, drops back to his side. His eyes are on you, focused in a way they haven’t been since the news of the tape landing in San’s hands were uttered to him. You suddenly feel exposed.
Seonghwa crosses the small gap in a couple of seconds, looking at you intensely. “What do you want to talk about exactly? You want to discuss something, surely, and I don’t think that it is about your apology.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” You mumble quickly, balking at the way his eyes tear through your defenses.
“You want to know more about the tape? You want to know what I do in my spare time?”
“N-no!” You lie, “No, I just didn’t want this to mess up anything between us.”
Seonghwa shakes his head, pulling away from you and exhaling slowly before he loses his cool. “There isn’t time to sit and chat about everything. Can you please just get in the car and tell me where this club San goes to is?”
You nod silently and Seonghwa turns around, getting into the car. Rooted to the spot for a moment, your heart thrumming in your chest, you try to ignore that little voice in your head – a voice entirely new, one that you don’t know what to do with.
What if you stopped getting yourself back in control, Seonghwa? What would that look like? I want to see what it looks like. I want to see what the real you is and I want to keep pressing against that exterior until it cracks.
You’ve never dealt with such a desire before. It is as if a giant dog is tugging you along on a leash and you can’t pull it back. You can dig your heels against the pavement, yank on the leash and beg for the dog to stop but it doesn’t work. The little voice in your head, the centre of your curiosity about Seonghwa mixed with your attraction to him, is a dangerous thing.
Perhaps it isn’t just Seonghwa who is always struggling to remain cool, calm and collected in every situation. Maybe you’re not so different from him.
*
Twenty minutes later, Seonghwa is parking at the club San frequents. The place is crowded with a line snaking around the outside of the building. Seonghwa stares at the line quietly after turning off the car. You know what he is thinking – time is important and he isn’t going to waste it waiting in a long line with the risk of the bouncer saying no. His fingers are curled lightly around the steering wheel, his brows furrowed together in concentration.
“What’s the plan? You gonna gank someone’s VIP pass?” You joke lightly.
He shifts, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and opening it. His fingers glide across the bills inside as he counts them quickly before looking in your direction. “How much cash do you have on you?”
“What?”
“I’ll pay you back,” Seonghwa says impatiently, “We’re just going to bribe the bouncer and skip the line.”
“Is – is that allowed?”
“No.”
“Oh. Uhm,” You fish your wallet out of your bag. “I have a hundred bucks.”
“Great, and I have two hundred,” He holds out his hand, wiggling his fingers at you.
“Wait, we’re going to give the bouncer three hundred dollars?” You ask incredulously.
“No, we’re going to start with a hundred and go from there,” Seonghwa explains, “They might be content with that. Your money is last resort.” When you hesitate, he sighs. “I told you, I’m good for it. I’ll pay you back immediately. I’ll pay you back tonight. As soon as I get the tape. Don’t start wiggin out on me now.”
“I am not wiggin out,” You say defensively, “I just have never bribed someone before.”
“Technically, I’m bribing. You’re merely watching.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, an awkward silence settles across the car. Seonghwa neatly averts his gaze, pretending to be fascinated with the money in his wallet. You swallow hard, unable to stop yourself from thinking about the tape.
You thrust the money at him which he takes with a mumbled thanks before getting out of the car. You look down at your hoodie and work pants, unable to recall if this place has a dress code or not. Probably, given the long line. You sigh, opening the car door and trailing after Seonghwa.
He stops at one point, looking over his shoulder at you. “Are you comfortable pretending we’re on a date?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m going to bribe the bouncer under the guise that I’m trying to impress you. Can I put my arm around you when we get up there? I won’t do anything else.”
“How do you come up with this shit?” You say without thinking, “The entire night, you just seamlessly come up with these ideas and lies and stories.” Every interaction we’ve had before tonight has been pleasant and normal to the point where I thought you were attractive but a little boring, is what you don’t add on to the sentence, and now I’m seeing all sorts of sides to you I never thought lurked inside.
Seonghwa ignores the question, instead asking one of his own. “Are you comfortable with me putting my arm around your waist?”
“Yeah, fine,” You mumble although the idea of him touching your body is making your skin warm.
“Alright. Try not to look so nervous.”
Seonghwa walks towards the club with a confidence you cannot hope to possibly mimic. Gone is the easy going attitude he carries at work. Instead, he acts as though he owns the place and is merely popping by to give it a look. His arm circles around your waist as the bouncer comes into view. You can hear people complaining about him cutting the line but Seonghwa doesn’t pay them any attention.
His arm around your waist is distracting in an agonizing way. Every nerve in your body has awakened to him and the desire is dizzying. As you approach the bouncer, Seonghwa nods his head in the man’s direction, extending his hand outward and slipping the hundred dollars in his palm.
“How’s it hangin?” Seonghwa asks casually, pulling you closer against him.
The bouncer glances quickly down at the money and replies evenly, “Could be better.”
Another hundred dollars is given and the bouncer pretends to study his clipboard and nods, moving to the side. “You’re on the list. Have a good night.”
Seonghwa nods, guiding you past him and into the club. On the way in, he brings his lips close to your ear and murmurs, “See? Didn’t even need your cash.”
You’re feeling slightly in awe of the Seonghwa on display tonight – gone is the fake work personality, just someone tackling the situation at hand in whatever way would work best even if it included lying. His arm is still around your waist, his body angled at a slight slant as he leads you through the crowd of people and onto the main dance floor.
The music is loud, cramming your skull immediately as a crush of people squeeze against Seonghwa and yourself. The flickering lights dance over Seonghwa’s hair as his grip tightens on your waist so the two of you don’t get separated. He pulls you along until he finds an alcove, releasing his hold and facing you.
“Do you know where they’d be?” He shouts.
“The dance floor! San always talks about dancing a lot when he’s here!” You yell back.
Seonghwa scowls. “I fucking hate clubs!”
Your hand reaches for his, pulling him out of the alcove and towards the main dance floor while This Is Your Night blasts so loudly that you can feel it vibrate along your bones. Wiggling through the vast swarm of people, you successfully make your way to the main dance floor. It is impossible to find San in the crush of people. Seonghwa tugs on your hand, getting your attention while pointing to a large staircase leading to the second floor.
You nod and he takes the lead, quickly lost in a sea of gauzy club clothes in colours that could cause someone’s retinas to bleed, seeing more cleavage and mini dresses than you thought possible in one space. Your hoodie and work pants and lack of high heels have you receiving a few confused glances as Seonghwa works his way through the crowd.
Of course, you also notice that Seonghwa is attracting a lot of attention in his own way. No one seems to care that his outfit isn’t club attire in the same way they cared about yours. While making your way up the stairs, you can hear giggles follow as people check Seonghwa out. This sparks an intense irritation in your chest for reasons you can’t fully explain.
Standing on one of the stairs, you gaze out across the dance floor, squinting to try to spot San or Wooyoung. Someone bangs into your side, cursing at you standing there. Seonghwa turns around sharply, glowering at the woman with such an intensity that she scampers up the rest of the stairs, wobbling on her strappy sandals with huge heels. His hand is on your lower back protectively.
“We are standing right on the stairs,” You shout at him.
“I don’t care,” He says crossly, “They can move around us. The staircase is huge.”
Seonghwa’s gaze is steady on yours and for a few seconds, time seems to stretch out. The music becomes background noise, his hand against your back, his body facing yours. He has one strand of hair that has come out of place, betraying his inner turmoil that he has been attempting to hide all night.
You bring your hand upwards, pushing his hair back into place before you can stop yourself. He reaches for you, fingers gently wrapping around your wrist. Your breath catches, thrown off by his touch and the intensity of his stare. For a brief second, you think it is finally going to happen – the fissures that have formed in Seonghwa’s carefully constructed polite personality are going to shatter –
But then, over his shoulder, you spot San weaving his way away from the bar, holding two drinks over his head, heading towards a small table where Wooyoung is.
“I found them!” You exclaim and the moment passes as Seonghwa looks over his shoulder, eyes narrowing as he spots San.
He swiftly turns around to head back down the stairs, holding onto your hand again. His impatience is exposed through the way he practically shoves his way through the crowd. The time the grumbles are not of admiration but of annoyance. Seonghwa doesn’t seem to care.
San’s eyes widen when he spots you and one eyebrow raises at the sight of Seonghwa holding your hand. Suddenly embarrassed, you pull your hand away from him although Seonghwa doesn’t seem to notice. He’s on a mission and only one thing is on his mind.
The print on San’s shirt defies logic and reasoning, distantly reminding you of a Taco Bell you stepped into a few weeks ago. Paired with even more colourful pants, you are unsure how it took this long to spot him in the crowd.
“What are you two doing here?” San exclaims loudly.
Without preamble, Seonghwa goes, “I need the Scream tape back.”
“You came all this way for that?” He asks confused.
Wooyoung slides out of the small booth he was occupying, plucking the drink out of San’s hand. Tonight, he’s wearing a nylon dark pink button up with three of the buttons undone, exposing his tanned chest. His pants are so tight that you aren’t sure how he even got into them.
Wooyoung waves at you and goes, “Who is your friend?”
“New coworker,” San exclaims over the music before turning his attention back to Seonghwa. “I don’t have it. I gave it to Yeosang when I got home and he took it with him when he left.”
Seonghwa’s hands flex at his sides, a motion only you notice. “Where is he?”
“I think he’s out with Mingi and Jongho tonight. They were gonna watch the movie at Mingi’s place. We were going to meet them there later.”
“Where is he now?” Seonghwa grinds out between clenched teeth.
San is picking up on the tension, glancing at you but your expression gives nothing away. “Is everything alright? Why do you need the tape back so badly?”
“I’ll explain later. I just need it back tonight,” Seonghwa replies.
Wooyoung, who has been silent this entire conversation, his eyes bouncing between the two men, throws his arm around San’s shoulders while pointing at Seonghwa, still holding his drink. “Who is this guy? I like him. He gets right to the point. He’s very money, you know what I mean?”
You interrupt quickly. “It’s to do with me, San. Please don’t ask any questions.”
It’s a lie, of course, but you know San will respect your request. You can feel Seonghwa’s eyes flick to you for a second.
“Yeah, it’s no problem. I don’t mean to be pushy. Yeosang is at the minigolf course. The one with the big wizard in the middle, you know it?”
“I do, yeah. Thanks for the help.”
“It’s all good,” San replies.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna hang?” Wooyoung asks Seonghwa, “We’re just getting started here.”
“I appreciate the offer but we gotta bounce. Nice meeting you.” Seonghwa is already turning away, eyes darting towards the exit.
You give the two men a small wave and then it is back to being smushed in the crowd, wiggling through the writhing bodies as the music pulsates around you. You’re walking behind Seonghwa, his hand searching for yours so the two of you don’t get separated. Your fingers curl around his and you find yourself studying the curve of his neck, the way his shoulders look in his sweater. From this angle, you can just make out the muscles underneath the tight fabric.
Seonghwa glances over his shoulder to make sure you’re alright. You can’t read his gaze; something shifts behind it, ever changing and unfolding. In that moment, it feels as if you’ve known him forever, in a thousand different locations across a thousand different universes.
Back into the night air, Seonghwa turns to face you. “Do you know what minigolf course San was talking about?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Great, come on.” He takes off across the parking lot towards the car. His back is illuminated by the neon from the sign of the club, dousing him in a bright blue that his hair soaks up.
You follow, catching up with him as Seonghwa asks, “What are you gonna tell San when he asks why you needed the tape?”
“I don’t know. I just said that because I knew he would drop it.”
“Well, you bought us time,” He remarks, opening the door to the car, “Tell me how to get to the minigolf course.”
Back in the passenger seat, you can still feel the tension rolling off Seonghwa. Unable to help yourself, you try to reassure him. “We’ll find Yeosang there. I’m sure he will have the tape on him. It’s nearby too.”
Seonghwa brushes off your words. “Just tell me how to get there.”
*
It takes fifteen minutes to get to the minigolf course. A large garish wizard hat juts out of the centre of the course, covered in purple lights to make it glow. There is an assortment of other tacky objects sticking upwards – palm trees, a poorly made replica of the leaning tower of Pisa, a UFO that used to rotate five years ago but has since broken down and not been repaired.
Seonghwa gazes at the sight through the windshield, clearly assessing the situation before getting out of the car. You take off after him, fighting the urge to grab his hand. It made sense in the club, not here.
As you approach the entrance, the sound of top 40 radio plays loudly over speakers. Seonghwa bypasses the ticket booth completely, instead opting to head directly onto the course. But a bored looking employee glances up from the magazine he’s reading and gets to his feet quickly.
“Whoa, hey there, homeslice. I need to see the ticket.” He extends his hand out to Seonghwa.
“I’m not playing,” He says quickly, “I just am getting something from a friend.”
“Sure, I can just let anyone pass by without a ticket,” The man rolls his eyes, “No ticket, no entrance.”
“It’ll take less than five minutes,” Seonghwa protests, the agitation at being so close and so far starting to get to him.
You hover by his side and quietly go, “Seonghwa, let’s just go buy a ticket.”
“I don’t want to buy a ticket. The ticket is for playing minigolf and I’m not playing,” He grinds out, staring at the attendant, “So, just let me in.”
The attendant, who is stuck wearing an ugly polyester blue button up, looks positively thrilled at finally having something interesting happening. “No can do, dude,” He says gleefully.
You grab Seonghwa’s upper arm, briefly distracted by the firm muscles underneath, before carting him away from the entrance. While gesturing to the ticket booth, you go, “Let’s just buy a ticket. Do you really wanna throw down with the guy working the minigolf course? We won’t get to Yeosang that way.”
“I don’t care,” He says stubbornly, “He’s being an asshole.”
Your irritation gets the best of you. “If you could wrangle your repressed anger under control for two seconds –”
“My what?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Seonghwa. The entire night, you’ve been furious at me and just won’t say it. So, you just shove everything down and ignore it and pretend you’re so calm and collected but you’re not –”
Seonghwa takes a step towards you. His demeanor is icy cold now. “Not everything is about you,” He replies in a tone that could frost over a window, “As much as you want it to be.”
Your eyes narrow. “What the hell does that mean?”
“If I’ve been repressing anger all night, you’ve been holding back too. The multiple attempts to steer the conversation back to how sorry you are, how you found the tape, how little you watched of it.” Another step closer, close enough to touch now. “Why don’t you stop bullshitting and just admit you wanna ask me questions about the tape and what I do in my spare time?”
You hadn’t thought it was that obvious. Seonghwa striking the centre of your heart with his accusation makes your breath catch. You can’t bring yourself to reply.
“The tape not only has me on it but also my ex. It violates her privacy for anyone else to see it, not just mine. That’s the most important thing going on right now, not you having some sort of sexual awakening at seeing a few minutes of it.”
You make a strangled noise in the back of your throat, knowing Seonghwa is correct but also feeling exposed at the same time. He stalks off past you, going towards the ticket booth. The employee at the entrance is gawking at the two of you although he didn’t hear anything said.
“You and your boyfriend are pretty intense,” He says over the din of top forty music.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” You mumble, looking over your shoulder at Seonghwa.
Seonghwa is smiling casually at the person working the ticket booth. All earlier signs of irritation are wiped clean from his beautiful face. He is chatting as though he doesn’t have a care in the world. Was I really that obvious? Or is he just that good at reading people? You are embarrassed but manage to make your facial expression look as placid as possible when Seonghwa returns to you.
“Ready?” He asks as if the two of you hadn’t just been at each other’s throats a couple of minutes ago.
After you nod, Seonghwa thrusts the tickets at the attendant who takes them in an over the top gesture and tacks on, “Have a good night!”
Entering the minigolf course, you stop to grab one of the little putters. Seonghwa notices and drawls, “Really?”
You hand it off to him. “Yes, really. You wanna blend in or look like the weird guy stalking across a golf course?”
He takes it, holding it daintily with his long fingers while studying it. “You were right. About the ticket. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
You’re holding your own putter now, staring at him. “I know. I wouldn’t think clearly in your situation either.”
Seonghwa looks at you for a long moment. You get the sense he wants to say more but he gives a small shake of his head, turning his attention back to the course. “Come on. We’ll just start at the first hole and wander around until you spot them.”
The next ten minutes are spent navigating the busy course which includes a moment where Seonghwa ducks to avoid a little kid swinging the putter and another where you almost lose your footing and awkwardly trip off a tiny fake bridge. There are a few questioning glances shot in your direction as the two of you bypass playing completely while you try to spot Yeosang.
Finally, near the gigantic wizard hat, you spot him along with who you assume is Mingi and Jongho. Yeosang, in baggy jeans and an oversized green hoodie, looks to be talking very animatedly with a tall man who is wildly gesturing. The other man is watching them with an amused expression on his face as if it is a very funny TV show.
“There they are.” You nudge Seonghwa to get his attention. “Are you doing the talking or am I?”
“You start and I’ll follow. Yeosang is familiar with you and doesn’t know me.”
“Alright, let’s go.”
You cut across a particularly ugly ice cream cone that is the centre of hole number ten and call out Yeosang’s name. He looks up in surprise but waves when he sees you.
“Wassup? Didn’t know you like minigolfing,” He says as you and Seonghwa stop in front of the group. “Mingi and I were just having a disagreement about how many hits he took to get the ball in the hole.”
The tall man, who is dressed entirely in acid wash denim, protests. “It was four strokes. You’re saying five and that’s not true.”
The other guy, who must be Jongho, goes, “Can we please move on? I want to get an Icee.”
“In this temperature?” Mingi asks, momentarily distracted.
Jongho tugs on his long sleeve, wearing a plaid dress shirt with all the buttons undone, a black t-shirt underneath, topped off with a simple pair of jeans. “It isn’t that cold in this.”
Seonghwa, who is already radiating an intense energy that will be overflowing at any second, swiftly interrupts, “Sorry, but I was talking to San and he said you had the Scream tape?”
Yeosang nods. “Yeah, it’s in my bag. Oh! You must be the coworker he is borrowing it from?”
“That’s right. I just need to see it for a second please.”
“Sure,” He turns around, scooping his bag off the ground which it had been unceremoniously dumped on and pulls out the tape, handing it to Seonghwa. “There you go.”
“Thanks so much,” Seonghwa replies calmly.
He immediately pries his fingers into the slots and begins to unspool the tape, wildly tugging it out onto the ground. Everyone, including yourself, falls silent, watching as Seonghwa then drops the plastic shell onto the ground and begins to take the putter to it. His hair falls out of place as he beats the shit out of the VHS tape with the putter, the shell cracking from the sheer force at which he strikes it.
“This dude is wacked,” Mingi mumbles.
“I heard Scream was a good movie,” Jongho says, brows furrowed in confusion.
“Guess we won’t find out now,” Yeosang replies dryly, “I suppose we’re watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 tonight.”
Seonghwa exhales, his cheeks puffing out while doing so, tossing the putter to the ground while scooping up the remains of the VHS tape. He runs his fingers through his hair although it doesn’t fix it.
“Thanks guys. Have a good night.” Seonghwa says as if he just didn’t go postal in the middle of the minigolf course.
He glances at you before taking off back the way he came. You give an apologetic look at Yeosang, unsure what to say and settling on nothing. Following Seonghwa, who is still holding onto what little of the tape remained, with the cheery pop music playing over the sound of laughter and people talking, you aren’t sure if speaking right now would help him. Does he need comfort? Is he relieved? He showed no hesitation in destroying the tape immediately. Had that been his plan the entire night?
Luckily for the attendant working the entrance, the exit loops around the other side of the course, taking you both into the parking lot before Seonghwa can start bickering with him again. He drops the pieces of the plastic casing into the nearest trash can although he is still holding the film, wrapping it carefully around his slender fingers.
“Seonghwa,” You say tentatively and he stops, looking over at you.
In the lights of the parking lot, Seonghwa is a slim figure with his black hair glowing. His breathing is slightly uneven, his features not nearly as collected as they’ve been all night. There is something raw wiggling underneath the surface of his composure, something you desperately want to touch.
“I’ll take you back to your place now,” He says roughly, “Come on.”
You don’t know what to reply with so you merely nod. A few minutes later, the car is pulling out of the parking lot and back onto the main road. You quietly tell Seonghwa how to get to your apartment from here. The tape is in his lap, the film nestled like a snake in between his thighs. You wonder what he will do with it. Set it on fire, maybe. He seems intent on destroying it completely. You understand why but still feel a pain of regret in your chest. There would be no viewing the rest of the tape now.
You suddenly feel very tired. Between work and the entire events of the sex tape, you’re ready to crawl in bed and sleep in tomorrow. You lean back in the seat, staring idly out the window. The radio is playing music quietly and Seonghwa doesn’t say a word. You still get the sense he is wrangling himself in. Does he do that all the time? Why bother? Why shield yourself from people to the extent he does? You see his smile from the tape in your mind once again. To your surprise, you feel a spark of jealousy buried in your chest. His ex got to see the real Seonghwa while you’ve been seeing his façade. You want to know him like that. You want to touch him like that.
The silent admission to yourself is unsettling. It’s been ages since you’ve wanted someone. Your attraction to Seonghwa earlier this week seems easier to digest when you thought your personalities wouldn’t be compatible. But his words outside the minigolf course were correct – those few minutes of him on your TV screen are making something deep inside you stir.
The streetlights swim lazily across Seonghwa as he drives silently. They blend in with his white sweater before appearing on his tanned skin, small pools of light that travel over his body before eventually being lost behind the car.
When he parks at your apartment complex, he goes, “I’ll walk you to your door.”
This time, you don’t refuse. Back into the cold air, you stop at the outskirts of the pool near the staircase to the second floor.
“Seonghwa,” You say again, your hand resting against the cold metal of the banister, “Now that you got the tape, and everything is sorted out, I really –”
“Don’t,” He says swiftly, “You’re going to apologize again. It isn’t your fault. I already told you that.”
“I know what you said,” You are two steps up on the staircase, looking slightly down at Seonghwa, whose hand is inches from yours on the banister, “But outside of the golf course…”
“Was I too harsh?”
“I just don’t understand why you’re pretending all the time,” You say after a beat of silence, “When I met you earlier this week, you were pleasant enough. But it’s obvious that isn’t what you’re really like. Just the few minutes of the tape showed that to me. And I’ve caught it once or twice before, at work, when you are obviously shoving your real self back down. Throughout tonight, I’ve seen glimpses of who you actually are – the quick lying, the flashes of irritation, your nerves at someone seeing the tape…I just don’t understand why you hide it everywhere but on a VHS tape.”
There. You said what you’ve been thinking the whole night. Seonghwa’s face doesn’t change the entire time you speak. But you aren’t fooled by it anymore.
Seonghwa places his feet on the first step of the staircase. He’s extremely close to you now; his body’s warmth seeps into your skin. You fight the urge to place your hands against his chest to pull on his sweater so that he will kiss you.
You aren’t sure what his reply was going to be but you aren’t prepared for the way his voice drops to almost a murmur. “You’re really intrigued about the tape, aren’t you? I wonder what makes you so curious. It is the idea of letting the camera see all of you for who you truly are? Is it just the idea of fucking and recording it that you find so compelling? Maybe both.”
You’ve gone still, frozen in surprise at the words leaving his mouth. He leans forward, his lips so close to your ear that your heart skips a beat. “Do you regret turning the tape off when you did? Your conscience prevailed; you did the morally right thing in a few minutes. Others would have watched the entire thing. But some part of you wishes it kept it running so you could watch me fuck my ex, listen to what we talked about. You know, I was so focused on getting rid of the tape, I don’t even know what one this one contains. We filmed so many,” He lingers on the last word as your brain fills up with mental images of tape after tape of Seonghwa, “What happened in the first few minutes of the tape?”
Shakily, you manage to whisper, “You were on a beach. And then in a diner. Finally, a hotel room.”
You don’t see Seonghwa smile but you can feel it, like an arrow in the dark, so fast that the sensation is gone in a second. “The vacation tape,” He pauses and continues, “I prefer being on film. Being seen. I feel comfortable and at ease. The camera misses nothing. The lens cuts through everything. All the noise and the bullshit. It isn’t about watching it back later. It isn’t about sharing it. I fill a tape, shove it in the collection. Destroy them when the relationship ends. Rinse and repeat. It’s about capturing that one moment and putting it on film. Everything when the camera isn’t on feels like bullshit. I feel like bullshit.”
“Why?”
Seonghwa shakes his head. “Dunno. Just always have. I only exist when the camera is on. Otherwise, I can’t be myself. Been that way forever. I’ll ask you again – did you regret turning the tape off?”
It doesn’t even enter your mind to lie. “Yes.”
“You wanted to watch me fuck my ex? Or did you want to be on that tape with me?”
Your body is growing hot all over. You wish Seonghwa would touch you. His hand is so close to yours that you would settle for him just to brush his fingers against your skin.
“Yes,” You whisper so quietly that if he weren’t so close to you, it would have been impossible to hear. You aren’t even sure what question you’re answering. Maybe it is both.
But Seonghwa pulls away abruptly then. With his warmth gone, it feels like a hole has opened in your chest. He runs his fingers through his hair but you take note of the slightly uneven way he is breathing. You want to grab him, see him for who he really is with no pretenses, have the camera lens on his body while he –
“I need to get home. I won’t be able to relax until I finish destroying the film,” His eyes trail along your body quickly and it feels deeply personal to have Seonghwa look at you in such a manner, “Goodnight.”
You don’t want him to go. You want him to follow you to your apartment and fuck you silly. But he turns around and in a couple of seconds, he has rounded the corner, leaving you alone with your thoughts, your desires and the briefest glimmer of the man Seonghwa truly is.
Monday, October 13th, 1997
“You gonna explain why Seonghwa opened up a can of whoop-ass on a VHS tape in the middle of a minigolf course on Saturday night or am I not privy to that information?”
You stifle a groan, unable to duck and dodge San any longer. You had yesterday off, which didn’t end up being as fun as it sounded, due to the fact all you did was lay in bed running the events of Saturday night over and over in your head.
And you still hadn’t come up with any sort of realistic story to tell San about the tape especially since Seonghwa had opted to destroy it with a minigolf putter.
“It’s complicated,” You finally settle on.
San’s eyebrows shoot upwards. “Complicated? Should I be concerned about your little work crush? Could he be a little…unwell?”
“He’s not unwell,” You say defensively, “It’s just complicated. Can you just drop it, please? It was his tape, after all.”
“Just makes no sense. You said the situation had to do with you. But why did Seonghwa go postal on the tape like that?”
You’re starting to get a headache. You’ve had way too much coffee before coming into work and your nerves are frazzled between the idea of seeing Seonghwa and how much time you’ve spent analyzing his words to you Saturday night before he left. Yes you told him on the staircase, yes you wanted to watch the entire tape, yes you wanted to see him have sex with his ex and yes, you wanted to be on film with him. A jarring admission, one that you’re still grappling with.
“San, my break ended a few minutes ago. Just please, for the sake of our friendship, I’m asking you to drop the entire thing.”
He holds his hands up in a gesture of innocence. “Fine. Consider it dropped. However, it is not forgotten.”
“I’ll take it, thanks,” You reply, heading quickly to the exit. “Listen, I’ll help you with inventory sometime this week, okay?”
“You’re just sucking up to me.”
“Yes, but you hate inventory,” You fire back over your shoulder.
“I do so I’ll accept it!” He calls after you.
Back in the store, you meander your way towards to the women’s clothing department. Part of you is desperate to run into Seonghwa while the other part is dreading it. What do you even say to him? Just a simple hello? How can you look him in the face knowing his entire personality is carefully curated bullshit to hide who he really is? How can you talk to him after what he said to you last night? How can you hold a conversation when you are so desperate to have him?
You end up avoiding the shortcut through the men’s clothing section. Even so, your eyes carefully scan the area for any sight of him among the racks of ugly dresses and t-shirts. Once you’re safely in the dressing rooms, reorganizing and cleaning out the mess people leave behind, you relax slightly.
You wanted to watch me fuck my ex? Or did you want to be on that tape with me?
Seonghwa’s words bang around in your brain no matter how much you try to push them away. Even as you go through the motions of work, your mind lingers on how warm his body was so close to yours on the stairs, the low timber of his voice in your ear, and how he saw through you and all your pretenses.
In fact, you’re so swept up in work and your thoughts, that you don’t realize Seonghwa is in the dressing room area until he says your name. Flinching in surprise, you look over your shoulder.
He stands there in his blue work vest, his arms so full of clothes that it looks like they could spill onto the floor at any second. Seonghwa’s face is beautifully impassive. You get the sense he has also been avoiding you.
“Wanted to drop off all the women’s clothes that ended up in the men’s dressing rooms before my shift ends,” He explains in a clipped tone.
“Right. Thanks.” You move closer, trying to take the clothes from him.
But there is simply too much and a good portion falls onto the floor. Your hands brush against his in the mess of fabric, sending your heart racing so quickly that it almost makes your chest hurt. Seonghwa is staring at you through his long lashes although his eyes dart away when yours meet his.
You manage to wrangle a good chunk of the clothes away, tossing it onto the small table at the end of the hallway that you use to organize them. “You can just dump the rest here.”
Seonghwa does so and then an awkward silence settles across the empty dressing rooms. The store closes in ten minutes. You didn’t think you’d be seeing Seonghwa at all today. We filmed so many he had whispered, teasing you with the mental images of whatever lurked on those tapes.
“Do you want any help?” He offers.
“I got it, thanks,” You say quickly, knowing the longer he stands next to you, the higher chance there is at the conversation going sideways.
His fingers are touching one of the t-shirts, his expression unfocused. “I wanted to apologize.”
You hesitate and then go, “For what?”
“I was pretty…intense Saturday night. I also talked to you out of line at the end there,” He swallows, staring at the pile of clothes as if they were a fascinating creature, “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
You feel stuck. It would be simpler to accept the apology and put the entire thing in the past. But a much larger part of you has shifted since discovering what Seonghwa is really like, brought to life by his words and the images on the tape, growing louder every passing moment. It is difficult to ignore these new feelings inside your chest.
“It’s all good. It was a stressful situation. I think it would make anyone start trippin although San is asking questions and I have nothing to tell him. It is a little harder to come up with a story when you…beat the shit out of the tape in front of everyone.”
“Yeah,” He looks at you sheepishly. “I lost my cool for a sec.”
“Cracked your pleasant exterior there,” You joke quietly.
His lips twist up into a smile for a brief second. You’re feeling hot all over, knowing it would be far easier just to let the conversation stop here. Easier to return to the way things were before the tape. Let Seonghwa be a work crush and nothing else.
“But, uhm,” You pick up a shirt, carefully folding it so that you don’t have to look at him, “I didn’t mind how you talked to me. At the end of the night.”
Seonghwa’s breathing changes slightly, something you wouldn’t have noticed a few days ago. But it is as if viewing the tape, learning about who he is and spending Saturday night with him has synced you up to Seonghwa in a new way.
“Is that right?” He finally replies, his voice even and without emotion.
“Yeah, I’ve been…thinking about what you said,” Your voice trembles slightly, betraying your nerves.
Seonghwa moves ever so slightly closer to you. Relief swoops through your body at his close proximity. “What about it?” He murmurs.
You take in a small breath and go, “I was thinking about asking you to come over. Tomorrow night.”
He hesitates for a small second. “To your place?”
“Yeah. I mean. If you’d want.” You are a mixture of anxiety and desire.
But you push through it to look at Seonghwa’s face. You recognize the expression this time – he is teying to maintain his calm exterior, aware that he is at work and in a public setting.
“Should I bring anything?” He asks in a forced nonchalant voice.
Your grip tightens on the shirt. After spending all day trying to dodge Seonghwa, you can’t believe how you’re cracking after a couple of minutes around him. But perhaps avoiding him was your own way of denying what you wanted.
“Maybe your camera,” You say with forced casualness.
But the words seem to crack Seonghwa. He moves closer to you, just as close as the time on the staircase. In a strangled voice, he goes, “You’re not making fun of me, are you?”
Surprised, you exclaim, “What? No, not at all.”
His hand reaches out for you but then thinks better of it. Falling back to his side, he flexes his fingers. His voice drops to a whisper. “I work a closing tomorrow but I’ll come over afterwards.”
You’re done work at five tomorrow which gives you plenty of time to get ready for…whatever you’re getting into. Seonghwa’s gaze is heavy, his energy buzzing. You want to push him, crack him open fully so that you can experience what he is like without any barriers…and maybe you want the same thing for yourself too. You want to know what it would be like being stripped away of all things you carefully hide behind without even realizing it. You just didn’t know that such a thing was so desired until you saw Seonghwa on that tape.
You nod, wanting to say more but nerves getting the best of you. He pulls away, trying to control his breathing. There is a slight flush of colour creeping up his neck. You get a vivid mental image of being on top of him, your hands against his chest, taking him fully inside you –
Quickly, you look away, afraid your thoughts might be all over your face. Seonghwa wishes you a goodnight, leaving the dressing rooms quickly before the energy crackles and explodes, spilling out into work.
He works so hard to keep everything separate, after all.
Tuesday, October 14th, 1997
You’re looking out the window of the living room, staring at the unremarkable view. The neon of the Taco Bell sign washes over the street, bathing the cars in the bright colour for a second or two as they drive by. You can just make out the interior, a swirl of pink, blue and purple, like a little lighthouse in the night.
You don’t think you’ve never felt so nervous staring at Taco Bell before.
It’s past ten which means Seonghwa will be here in about twenty minutes. Having invited him on a whim, driven by a combination of lust and curiosity, you’re now dealing with the reality of what you suggested. In asking him to bring his camera, you’ve basically admitted to him and yourself that you want to see what filming together would be like. And while you’re aware that you can change your mind and tell him to forget it once he arrives, the truth of the matter is that you don’t want to do such a thing.
Your attraction to Seonghwa has only been heightened since seeing the tape, and your own sexual exploration seemed to be spilling out of you with a mighty need. As nervous as you feel, you also have no interest in denying it any longer.
You aren’t sure how long you stare out the window, spacing out, but a soft knock at the door startles your thoughts away. Exhaling slowly, you cross the small living room, opening the front door to see Seonghwa standing there.
He’s wearing a very colourful button up tucked into a pair of blue jeans. A bag is slung over his shoulder and his hair is a little messy from the chilly wind. Your heart skips a beat violently at the sight of him.
“Hey. Oh, uh, come in,” You say awkwardly, moving to the side as Seonghwa walks past, “How was work?”
“Fine, the usual. You know how it is. I like your place.”
You blink. “Really? I don’t think it’s anything exciting.”
He glances over his shoulder. “Well, I didn’t say it was exciting. I just like how comfortable it looks.”
“Thanks. How are you doing with unpacking your own place?”
Seonghwa places the bag on the coffee table while replying, “Besides the mishap with the tape, it has been uneventful.”
He speaks of the tape so candidly now although given the circumstances, why wouldn’t he?
“Did you and your ex live together long?” It no longer felt awkward to mention his last relationship – so much is different now with Seonghwa.
“We did although that seemed to be our undoing. Only lasted a few months after we moved in together,” He replies while turning to face you. “For the sake of honesty, I haven’t been with anyone else since my relationship ended. Does that bother you?”
“No because I haven’t either. I find those things…distracting. I just was focusing on work and other things in my life.”
“Am I a distraction?”
“What?”
He repeats himself.
Your cheeks grow warm. “I mean – technically, yes.”
Seonghwa is fighting off a smile. You can tell by the way he tilts his face away from your direction to look at your TV.
“Do you want anything to drink?” You offer.
“Just some water is fine, thanks.”
“Alright. Uh, please sit down. Don’t feel like you need to stand there.”
You scamper out of the living room, wishing your nerves would settle. Now that he is here, you feel scattered. Your attraction to him has grown tenfold in the last few days and you can’t remember the last time you’ve wanted someone this much.
Returning with a couple of glasses of water, you sit down next to Seonghwa on the couch. Desperate to fill the silence, you turn on the TV, immediately blasted with a Surge ad.
“Listen,” Seonghwa says after a few minutes, “We don’t have to do anything tonight. I don’t want you to think I went into anything with expectations.”
Hurriedly, you reply, “I know that.”
“I understand you’re curious because the concept is new to you. But that doesn’t mean you’re going to be into it.”
You turn to face him, your fingers wrapped around your glass of water. Seonghwa tilts his head in your direction.
“I am curious,” You say quickly, “And I don’t really understand why. I’ve never thought about something like that until I saw those few minutes of the tape. And I…” You swallow, feeling shy. “Well, I only think about it with you. I was attracted to you right away but…you seemed so…nice. As if there wasn’t a lot going on underneath the surface. So, I assumed the attraction would never deepen. But after I saw the tape…I felt like I saw you.”
“And?” He prompts.
“And I was intrigued. At you. At the idea of filming stuff like that. The idea of a camera around, catching all these private moments. I started realizing how much you pull yourself under control, how you’re wearing a mask all the time.”
“Everyone wears a mask in public. Most people just don’t realize it.”
“You think I’m realizing it now then?”
“Maybe. I don’t want to speak over your feelings or pretend I know what you’re thinking of. But yes, you’re right about me. I struggle with being vulnerable, being myself. I always switch into this false personality. I don’t even mean to do it.”
“But you don’t do it while recording.”
“That’s right. Something about seeing that little red light on switches it off.”
“And what about…” Your shyness deepens.
“Filming myself having sex?” After you nod, Seonghwa goes, “It just turns me on. Makes sex better. Makes me more relaxed. In that moment of filming, I feel free. Capturing those moments of pleasure…it feels crucial to my enjoyment.”
“Has everyone you’ve been dating into it too?”
“After I realized how much I like it, yeah. When the relationship ends, I destroy all the tapes. Just out of respect. Recording it isn’t really about watching it back anyway. It’s just about that moment of filming the intimacy of it.”
You fall silent, battling more questions and your ever growing desire for Seonghwa. He turns his attention back to the TV, although you get the feeling he really isn’t engrossed in the episode of NYPD Blue playing. Your eyes land on the large bag he brought.
Could you record yourself sleeping with Seonghwa? Knowing that moment would be captured on a tape with him? It’s all you have been thinking about since discovering Seonghwa’s secret. But now that you can make it a reality, your nerves are still battling for dominance.
“Could I see it?” You ask suddenly, “The camera, I mean.”
“Sure,” He replies, leaning forward and pulling the bag towards him.
Unzipping the bag, he pulls out a large and chunky camcorder, resting it in his lap. He runs his fingers along the side where the spot for the tape opens while saying, “I was reading that they’re making these new cameras that are apparently a lot smaller and would be digital, if you could imagine such a thing. Would make filming a lot easier than this heavy thing.”
“So you don’t…hold it during…”
He laughs. “No. I just plop it down on a table or something during sex. But if the digital cameras end up truly becoming a thing, I suppose I could hold it during sex. Or you could,” He immediately realizes what he casually said and looks embarrassed. “Not that I meant – I don’t mean to assume that we would sleep together. Or you would be comfortable filming anything.”
You reach for the camera, grabbing it out of his lap and into your own, studying it. It isn’t as though it’s your first time holding such a thing but it has been a while. “How do you start recording?”
“You insert the tape and then press this button,” He leans closer, showing you where it is located.
You study his face, eyes lingering on his lips. “Where’s the tape?”
Seonghwa meets your gaze for a beat before moving away to retrieve it from the bag. He presses a button, the side popping out so he can insert the VHS tape. Snapping it shut, he says, “Then you can hit record. Each tape can roughly film for two hours.”
You hesitate for a moment before reaching for the camera. Your fingers touch his, an electric vibration that sparks along your skin. You can hear Seonghwa’s breath catch slightly but he relinquishes the camera. You look into the camera’s viewfinder while popping the cover off the lens.
You know what you want – Seonghwa and the exploration the recording will bring. Even though it is something you’ve never thought of until that moment you saw Seonghwa on your TV, with his beautiful smile, toned chest and low voice talking dirty, it seems to have awakened something deep inside you. Something that won’t rest, won’t stop, until you explore your desires.
You press down on the record button, making sure Seonghwa is in frame. You know he can see the red light, aware that you’re recording.
“Tell me about the first time you filmed yourself having sex,” You ask bluntly.
Seonghwa raises an eyebrow although the chuckle he emits makes it clear he isn’t offended. “You interviewing me now?”
“A little.”
“It actually wasn’t my idea, if you can believe it. My girlfriend at the time brought it up to me one night after she noticed how much I liked recording home movies.”
“Did she notice how comfortable you seemed on camera?”
“Yeah, she did. It felt like a natural progression to me like oh, why hadn’t I thought of it? I was always trying to get in front of the camera ever since I can remember. But she was the first one to suggest taking it that far.”
“Were you nervous?”
“No.” Seonghwa looks relaxed now. The tension you hadn’t even realized he carried has now softened, his shoulders are lowered while he leans against the couch, still facing you. His hair grazes against his cheek from the angle. You catch yourself admiring his face, the slope of his nose, how his fingers rest in his lap. “No, I felt comfortable right away. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“You ever think about filming yourself having sex before?”
“No, absolutely not.”
“Not until my tape.”
“That’s right.”
“You like filming me?” He asks and after you nod, he goes, “This time, you don’t have to shut it off before it gets to the good part.”
“A little cocky now, don’t you think?”
He gives a casual shrug. This is the Seonghwa you saw on the TV – relaxed, confident, letting each emotion come easily without judgement. This is the Seonghwa you’ve wanted.
You lean back against the couch, the camera still recording in your lap while motioning to the front of the TV. “Why don’t you show me how comfortable you are in front of the camera?” You can hardly believe the words after you say them. I guess it isn’t just Seonghwa who shows new sides of himself to the camera.
But Seonghwa only grins at your request, getting up and standing in front of the TV. He pulls the colourful shirt from the confines of his jeans, his fingers swiftly undoing the buttons to expose a thin white tank top underneath. Your heart rate is already accelerating at the sight of the fabric resting against his taunt stomach.
“Is this what you wanted?” He teases and your thighs clench at the fact you’re hearing that tone of voice being used on you now.
“Don’t be coy.”
Another grin. Yes, Seonghwa is correct – that little red light on from the camera changes him entirely. He shrugs out of the shirt, exposing his shoulders before it falls to the floor. Wearing just the tank top now, he hooks his thumbs into the front of his jeans, staring at you with an expression that looks almost devious.
“What?” You say defensively.
His grin widens. “Nothing. You’re just obvious.”
“What does that mean?”
“Come here and I’ll show you.”
You stand up, holding the heavy camera while ambling towards him. He reaches for the camera, taking it out of your hands and placing it on the top of the TV stand, giving the lens a view of your faces down to just under your shoulders.
After he finishes positioning the camera, Seonghwa turns his attention back to you. He is as close to your body as he was the other night on the stairs. Your breathing is uneven, aware of the camera on you, aware of everything you’ve been secretly thinking about is going to come to fruition.
“See?” He murmurs.
“What?”
Seonghwa smirks while running one finger down along your arm and your body shivers in response. “That. How much you want me.”
“Well, some of us aren’t experts at hiding ourselves all the time,” You counter.
His lips hover just above yours, hands coming up to cup your cheeks. Your body is screaming for Seonghwa, your brain buzzing with need, lips parted in anticipation.
There is no witty retort from him. Instead, Seonghwa kisses you. Softly at first, enough to shake the centre of you. His lips against yours makes you feel slightly delirious as if not realizing you were dying of thirst. The camera’s gaze remains steady on both of you while the kiss continues. His tongue slips past your lips, exploring your mouth so tenderly that your hands hold onto the band of his jeans to steady yourself.
Your whimper is muffled against the kiss, face warm, body responsive to this man you’ve only known for a week – and only truly known for a few days. Seonghwa’s hands are in your hair as yours circle around his small waist, pressing him against your body. He is stiff in his jeans but still his hands travel downward until they rest on your ass, squeezing it. The kiss continues, growing deeper, hungrier, breaking briefly so you can pull off his tank top.
You are pressing your hands against his hard stomach, running up along his chest until curling them around his shoulders, breathless at the sight of him. His skin is warm, inviting, and the sight of him in just his jeans is incredibly sexy.
Seonghwa brings his face to your neck, kissing along there while his grip on your ass tightens. Your eyes flutter closed for a second. The barriers of your clothing are becoming an annoyance now. You want more of him, you want all of him.
When you open your eyes, they land on the camera. A silent observer, missing nothing, no judgement to be found.
“Seonghwa,” You whisper and he stops, pulling away just enough to look at you. His eyes are hazy with lust, lips parted prettily. “Come with me to my room,” You pause for a second before adding, “And bring the camera.”
*
In your room, the camera is once again propped onto the top of the TV which gives it the perfect angle of the bed. When originally purchasing the second TV at a yard sale, a friend had questioned needing another one. Now, you’re grateful for it – where else would the camera filming the two of you go?
You are still fully dressed, something Seonghwa looks to rectify from the way he gently nudges you into view of the camera while he stands behind you.
His hands are on your waist, skittering upwards until your shirt is pulled off, tossed onto the nearby dresser. In just your bra and sweatpants now, acutely aware of the camera, your breathing grows uneven. Seonghwa’s hands continue to travel, now onto your bra, squeezing your breasts together. He is kissing along your neck once again, his lips a soft whisper along your skin.
He tugs down on the bra, exposing your tits not only to his hands but to the camera as well. The entire thing feels more intimate than any other sexual encounter you’ve had before; the camera adds to the feeling as strange as it sounds in your head.
Seonghwa’s hands are warm. He cups your breasts, thumbs brushing across your nipples. You’re soaking wet, overwhelmed by the desire you’re experiencing for him. He rolls your nipples in between his fingers, pinching them a little, allowing the camera to take in the sight of him groping you like this.
You tilt your face in his direction and his lips find yours once again. You like how Seonghwa tastes in your mouth – it is familiar, almost as if you’ve kissed him before, kissed him a thousand times. When he pulls away, the look in his eyes is heavy, laced with lust and stripped away from any pretenses he usually carried so close to him.
You brush his hands away from your body, instead grabbing him by the waist band of his jeans, moving him closer to the camera on the top of the TV. Unbuttoning his jeans, you rub him through the denim, taking note of the way his breathing catches.
You lean towards the camera, moving it to the shelf underneath the TV, giving the lens a perfect view of you on your knees in front of Seonghwa. You look up at him, unzipping his pants and pulling them down until his boxers are exposed.
The camera can’t catch his facial expression but you can see it – the way he looks at you with his plump lips slightly parted, his eyes dancing across your hands down to your breasts. It isn’t just giving yourself over to him, it’s giving yourself over to the camera too.
Your hands rub against the bulge in his boxers, feeling the warmth through the fabric. Your hands dip into the band of his boxers, pulling it down until his cock springs free. Gently wrapping your hand around him, you bring your tongue across the head, sweeping across it once, twice, three times. Seonghwa exhales slowly while you begin to pump his cock, looking up at him. The camera’s gaze is steady on the two of you, the moment you take his length into your mouth captured on film.
Your tongue presses against the tip of his cock for a few seconds before taking more of him, filling your mouth with his length. Your other hand goes to his balls, fondling them while your tongue presses along the underside of his shaft.
Spurned on by the soft noises of pleasure that escape Seonghwa, you begin to bob on his cock. Sometimes, he pops out of your mouth, the tip of him a sticky sweet mess of your salvia and his precum. It glistens in the low lights before you take him once again, as much as you can. You enjoy the way he fills your mouth, stretches out your lips with his thickness.
Seonghwa’s eyes close, his head rolling back as a guttural groan topples from in between his pink lips before he curses sharply and pulls away. His cock slides out, precum smearing against your cheek.
With a small shake of his head, he goes, “I don’t wanna finish. I want to feel you wrapped around me.”
Seonghwa helps you up, scooping the camera off the shelf and back onto the top of the TV. This time he puts more care into the angle, asking you to sit on the bed while he looks through the viewfinder until he looks pleased with it.
“Look at you, big shot director,” You tease at one point.
He raises his eye from the viewfinder. “Hey, it’s your debut,” Seonghwa says gravely but the twinkle in his eyes makes it evident he’s joking. “Lay sideways on the bed for me, will you?”
“Yes, sir,” You are still poking at him.
When he seems satisfied, Seonghwa circles back to the bed. He crawls up along your body, stopping to remove your sweatpants and underwear. You’re completely naked with him on camera now while his lips travel across your stomach, stopping at your breasts. His tongue flicks over your nipples and he gently bites down on one, tugging on it with his teeth just to hear you gasp.
Seonghwa is skin to skin with you, not an inch in between your bodies as he finally kisses your lips. Your legs curl around his waist urgently, tugging on his bottom lip with your teeth until he groans in response.
It is simple to enter your pussy, having been wet for Seonghwa since he stepped foot inside your apartment. His length fills you swiftly until his hips touches yours. The next kiss is messy, a mixture of muffled moans and whimpers as Seonghwa goes still, allowing you to get used to the sensation of being filled with his cock.
His hands snake up along your arms, gently pinning your hands above your head, just at the edge of the mattress. Almost lazily, Seonghwa rocks his hips. The motion is small, just enough to send shocks of warmth and pleasure through your body. You groan out his name in a plea for him to move faster but he doesn’t obey.
“Sorry, my boo, but I’ve been thinking about this all week and I want to take my time,” Seonghwa declares, your hands entwined together, “I saw the way you looked at me when we first met, saw the disinterest flicker across your face when I drove you home the first time.” He moves his hips, pulling almost completely out of your hole. “And I went home that night and thought about inviting you over, teasing your body until you crumbled and begged for me.” He thrusts now, all the way back inside, until your hips meet once more and you gasp, your fingers curling around his for something to hold onto.
You can recall the memory, the way you mused that Seonghwa was too pleasant, too kind in that sort of neutral, placid way that meant even though he was beautiful, he faded to the background of your memory. But there is your side of things too…
“Your veneer isn’t perfect,” You counter with a small gasp when he rocks his hips again, “Maybe to others but not to me.”
“Is that right?” He growls.
Breathlessly, you explain, “I got the feeling multiple times you were holding back, hiding parts of yourself. You were so restrained all the time.” You remember the moment in the breakroom where he flattened his hand against his knee, wrangling himself under control. “But sometimes, I would see pieces. It made me want to crack those parts open, see you.”
Seonghwa is moving your legs now, sliding his arms under them so that they fold closer to your chest. He is still as near to you as he can get physically. But the angle change is intense and you grab the edge of the bed, gasping as he begins to pump his cock deeper into your cunt.
“And now?” He prompts but you can’t focus on the conversation anymore, not when his cock feels this good and he’s finally fucking you at a pace that only heightens the desire and pleasure. After your garbled moan, Seonghwa goes, “I’ll take that as your answer.”
Your eyes flutter open, the red light from the camera like a spotlight. This moment - captured either forever or until Seonghwa and you were to break apart. Tiny parts of yourself, combined with Seonghwa, in this intimate moment for the camera lens.
Your thighs shake, your pussy tightening around Seonghwa’s cock as your orgasm approaches. He keeps up the steady pace, the bed shaking with every thrust, your legs bouncing with each jerk of his hips. Your knuckles are white from clutching the edge of the bed, your bedsheets tangled around your fingers as Seonghwa pistons his cock into your wet cunt.
And then your orgasm begins, Seonghwa’s name a shattered piece of glass on the tip of your tongue as your hips meet his. The pleasure blots out everything; it is so exquisite that you lose yourself entirely to him.
Seonghwa pulls out, allowing you to stretch out your legs. “I want to fuck you from behind,” He says, his hands on your thighs, “Will you let me?”
You know that means facing the camera, allowing it to capture every expression on your face. You nod and Seonghwa helps you get into position on all fours, your ass in the air and hands pressed against the bed. He runs his hands over your ass before tugging you down a little, towards his cock.
“Seonghwa,” You say, looking over your shoulder at him. His hair is messy, his breathing rough, but all his protections over his personality are gone. He looks sexy, inviting, warm, all yours. “I want you to finish in me.”
He stops for a moment, glancing up at you before nodding. You turn back to the camera while he enters you once again. You gasp loudly – he feels much different from this angle and your eyes almost roll back into your head from how amazing it is. Seonghwa doesn’t stop this time. He immediately begins to pump and you curse roughly as his hips smack against yours.
One hand reaches for your hair, pulling it on it in a sharp tug, keeping your head up so that the camera captures your ever changing facial expressions. You like that it’s being filmed, both you and Seonghwa’s faces being recorded as you chase the pleasure your bodies can give.
He grunts out your name as he fucks you, releasing his hold on your hair so that he can grip your waist. Your hands shake and you finally relent, lowering your front half onto the bed. This allows him to fuck your cunt even deeper. You’re cursing loudly, begging him to keep going because you’re going to cum again. He doesn’t stop and you’re sure that the camera is going to show a thin layer of sweat across his forehead from how quickly Seonghwa’s hips snap into yours, his balls smacking against your ass, your wet pussy taking him easily.
Your hands grip the bed sheets, face down in the bed now, trying to muffle how much noise you’re making because of the neighbors. Seonghwa is grunting, panting, his fingers digging into your soft flesh as his cock pounds into your sopping wet hole.
Your orgasm starts suddenly, without any warning, and your back arches. You bring your ass backwards, trying to meet his erratic thrusts. At the same time, Seonghwa groans out your name and it sounds like gravel against the bottom of a shoe. He begins to spill inside of your cunt. Together, you both cum, in full view of the camera. His warmth overflows and when he pulls out, you can feel him dripping out of your cunt.
Legs like jelly, you fall against the bed, completely exhausted. But Seonghwa slides off, reaching for the camera and bringing it onto the bed. He plops it briefly onto the sheets while his hands go to your hips, rolling you onto your back.
“What?” You mumble, slightly dazed.
“I want to see your cunt filled with my load,” He explains, bringing the camera close, peering through the viewfinder.
His other hand gently spreads your lips apart, showing his cum leaking out from in between your folds. It’s lurid, completely pornographic, and you find it thrilling.
“You’re a perv,” You tease him.
His finger dips into your cunt, scooping up some of his cum. His hand trails up along your body, along with the camera lens, and when his finger is against your lips, you open, sucking his cum clean off.
“And what are you then?” He says.
“Your new girlfriend,” You reply boldly.
Seonghwa pulls away from the viewfinder, his eyes meeting yours. In the now quiet room, the only noise is of his soft breathing mingling with yours. The past is wiped clean, replaced with the new tape, the collision of two people caught on camera, entwining together both physically and mentally.
“That sounds perfect to me,” is what he finally says and you can read in between the lines – you aren’t just privy to Seonghwa’s true self through a camera lens anymore. You get access to him all the time.
You smile up at him, fucked out completely and never been more content.
Seonghwa returns the look, his finger hovering over the button to stop recording.
“What do you want to do now?” He asks.
You think for a moment before going, “We should –”
And his finger presses the button, ending the tape.
the end.
#ateez fics#ateez smut#seonghwa fics#seonghwa smut#seonghwa x reader#kpop fic#video girl#100 notes#500 notes#1000 notes
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» stray kids masterlist «
➮ bf!Chris × fem!Reader (× implied Minho)
wc: 1.8k
summary: Your boyfriend really doesn't like it when his friends pay a little more attention to you nor does he like it when you playfully flirt with them.
genres/themes/au: smut; bar themes, established relationship; idol au, boyfriend!Chris
warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, alcohol consumption, mc flirts with someone other than their partner (Chris), bar setting, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut!
special tags: @yoonguurt @sanjoongie @millennial-fangirl
MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED.
AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.
a/n: i will be completely honest, I forgot I even wrote this. It's been in my docs for almost a year 💀 but here it is! Thank you for reading! If you like this, please reblog and leave feedback and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
smut warnings: semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), mild dirty talk, use of pet names, fingering (f receiving), mild degradation (f receiving), implied threesome. I think that's it lol
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[01:08] — isn't this what you wanted?
It was just a bit of harmless flirting. Something you’d done a few times before. It was just your nature to flirt when you drank and Chris knew that. He had never let it bother him before so why was it any different now.
Maybe it was the way he saw Minho’s eyes roam over your scantily clad body. Maybe it was the way you lightly laid your hand on his bicep when speaking to him. He didn’t like the way Minho teasingly flexed his arm, letting you feel the muscles he’d spent so much time working on in the gym.
He didn’t like how close the two of you were standing. He didn’t like the way his friend’s eyes lingered a little too long on your ass when you turned to speak to Han. Maybe that was the final straw. The push he needed to close the gap and grab you by the elbow, leading you away from his friends and into the empty bar bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.
“Chris,” you chastised him, trying to step around him and return to the bar. He wasn’t having any of it as he pushed you against the wall, arms caging you in as he placed his palms flat against the tile walls on either side of your head.
You’d only ever seen this side of him once before. The time you were over at the dorms for a movie night and as a joke, Seungmin grabbed you by the waist and pulled you down onto his lap as you bickered with Felix about making space for you on the couch. The guys hadn’t known back then that the two of you were a thing but Chris had made it abundantly clear later that night as he was pounding you into the mattress in his room, pinning your wrists above your head to keep you from muffling your moans.
Since then, no one had attempted to make a move or flirted with you. Until tonight anyway.
Chris thought of himself as not being the jealous type but the moment he had seen you perched on Seungmin’s lap, laughing along with the guys, the green monster reared its ugly head and he wanted the world to know you were his. He could handle random guys flirting with you because he knew they’d probably never see you again. But his own members? You saw them all the time.
“What’s wrong, babygirl?” He asked, his tone low and full of what you discerned was lust. Even though you didn’t like his being jealous, you had to admit it was probably the best rough sex you’d had with him. Normally he was so sweet and careful with you, only going hard when you asked.
That night, he was completely in control and had his way with you and there was no shame in admitting you liked the contrast between the two personas.
“I thought you liked the attention,” he continued, his voice dripping with a mixture of desire and sarcasm. You felt your knees become weak as he gazed at you, his eyes darker than before. You’d really done it now and you knew you were in for a long night.
“I-I…” you stammered but faltered when a crooked smile spread across your boyfriend’s lips.
“You what?” He asked, pressing his body closer to yours, heat from him radiating into you.
“You thought you’d flirt with one of my friends right in front of me, dressed like that?” He asked, nodding down at your choice of attire.
It was a black dress, one you’d worn before and picked with the sole purpose of dressing up for Chris. You only ever dressed like this for him because you only wanted his eyes on you.
“It wasn’t like—“ you murmured but stopped when Chris brought one of his hands up, pressing a finger to your lips. “Wasn’t like that, baby?” He asked. “You thought you’d dress up a little and not expect to be the center of attention? That wasn’t your intent at all?” He asked, moving his finger to caress your cheek, a huge contrast from the way he spoke to you.
You leaned into his touch, lips parting as you let out a sigh. You felt the pad of his thumb brush over your bottom lip before he slipped his thumb into your mouth, pressing it against your tongue. The sweet gesture turned lewd as he watched the way your lips wrapped around the digit.
His own lips parted as you sucked, tongue swirling around the tip of his thumb the way it did when he had his cock in your mouth. “You’re such a dirty little slut,” he groaned, hips rolling forward to press his erection against you. “Fuck, Chris,” you moaned, his thumb still in your mouth.
“You sound so pretty when you say my name like that,” he mumbled, pulling his hand from your face and reaching down to lift the hem of your tight skirt. “Chris,” you moaned as his fingers pressed into your panties, your arousal pooling in them. “We can’t do this here,” you whimpered as he pulled aside your panties, pressing his fingers past your folds, finding your clit easily.
“The door is locked, baby,” he said, leaning in to tease your neck with his teeth. “Besides,” he added, whispering in your ear. “Who are you expecting to come in here? Minho?” He growled. “N-no,” you whined as he worked the pads of his fingers against your clit in slow circles, dragging them down to your entrance only to pull away, teasing you.
“Chris,” you managed to whine but fell silent as he lowered himself to his knees, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. Keeping your panties pushed to the side, he leaned in, tongue tasting you as he toyed with your clit. Your hands moved, tangling in his dark locks, tugging gently.
Oral with Chris was never quick or to the point. He loved to tease and take his time, coaxing you to your orgasm. This time was different, he’d never managed to have you squirming and moaning in mere minutes, tongue flicking against your clit, sucking on it. “Ah, shit,” you cursed, chest heaving as your boyfriend ate you out like a mad man.
He shifted, managing to throw your other thigh over his shoulder but keeping you propped up against the wall as he dove back in, tongue lapping at your entrance. You glanced down, moaning at the sight of your boyfriend’s face buried between your thighs. His eyes were shut, no doubt enjoying the sounds you made and the taste, hands gripping your ass tightly.
Your eyes rolled back as you felt your climax rapidly approaching. “Fuck,” you hissed. “I’m gonna cum,” you moaned. “Do it,” Chris answered. “Come all over my tongue, babygirl,” he added before continuing his assault on your core.
Your hands in his hair tightened, fingers gripping his tresses harder as your hips moved of their own accord, bucking in his face as your toes curled. You came with a whimper of his name and moaned as he licked up every bit of your release. You tried to shy away from his tongue but his grip on you held you in place. “Chris,” you pleaded, feeling the familiar knot in your stomach tighten. “I can’t please,” you whimpered, feeling tears form. “It’s too much.”
Chris chuckled, the vibrations against your soaked core causing you to tremble.
You looked down when you felt him move his mouth away and the sight had your walls clenching around nothing. The cocky grin partnered with his lips glistening with your slick. It was all you could do to not push him onto the floor and hop on his cock right then and there.
He let you down, holding you steady as your legs shook. You managed to stumble over to look into the mirror, turning on the water to wet your hot flushed face.
Chris had gotten to his feet and pulled his phone out but what he was doing you couldn’t tell.
You noticed him moved behind you in the mirror and gasped as he pulled your skirt up, exposing your ass. “Chris!” You hissed trying to turn but he forced you to face the mirror. “Don’t move,” he ordered, grabbing your panties and pulling them down your thighs, letting them fall to your feet as he brought his hand to his lips, wetting two of his fingers before it disappeared behind you and you let out a moan as you felt his fingers enter you from behind.
He’d just eaten you out in a public bathroom and now he wanted to finger you? This was crossing so many lines but why was it so hot?
“Chris,” you warned, head dropping as his fingers moved in and out of you at a steady pace. “You like that,” he asked, his free hand moving to wrap around your throat. “You like being touched in a public bathroom?” You moaned as he curled his fingers against your walls, your knees threatening to give out.
“This is so wrong,” you whined, head falling back as you felt Chris’ lips ghost over the exposed skin of your shoulders. “Would you rather Minho be in here making you feel this good?” He growled, fingers moving faster. “That’s not what I—“ you tried to explain but fell silent. “Have you ever thought about the others when I’m touching you?” He asked. ‘What the hell?’
“What?” You gasped. “No!” You felt him smirk against your skin. He was teasing you. Teasing and torturing you for drunkenly flirting with his friend. “Have you thought about them when touching yourself?” He whispered, curling his fingers again. You let out a deep moan, causing him to chuckle.
“Does that turn you on? Thinking about other men when you touch yourself?” He asked. You wanted to tell him it was ridiculous, that you only ever thought about him but that wasn’t entirely true. You had thought about Minho like that before. Of course, it was before you and Chris had even started seeing one another. You were single then and free to think about what you like.
“It does, doesn’t it?” He asked again. “No,” you answered weakly. “Don’t lie to me,” he growled.
“You’ve already told me your fantasies, baby girl,” he added. ‘Shit,’ you thought. He was right.
You had mistakenly admitted you liked the idea of double penetration. Chris found the confession intriguing. “Have you imagined yourself, full of two cocks?” He asked again,
When you were done you heard a tap on the locked door. “Shit,” you cursed, pulling your skirt down. “We gotta get out of here,” you hissed. Chris unlocked the door and smiled at you.
“We aren’t done yet, kitten,” he said, pulling open the door and your eyes widened as Minho stepped into the bathroom. “What are you doing?” You asked Chris as he shut the door again and locked it.
“What wrong, kitten?” Chris asked, turning to face you. "After all,"
“Isn’t this what you wanted?”
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#cultofdionysusnet#ksmutsociety#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#bang chan scenarios#bang chan imagines#bang chan fanfic#bang chan fanfiction#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader
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His Best Friend's Sister
find my masterlist here
[description]: jax teller x fem!reader
[wordcount]: 2.2k
[summary]: as Opie’s little sister, you never really had a chance with Jax. but with a plan to make him jealous one night at Diosa, you're hoping you can change all of that.
[cw]: 18+, flirting, slight angst, smut, younger reader (just out of college), pet names, oral f receiving, choking, biting, mildly rough sex, spelling/grammar errors throughout
[an]: this is based off of this request (thank you!) - it took so long to finish as i was struggling to write for awhile. it’s not as rough smut wise as it could’ve been but for my first one in a few months it could’ve been worse. anyways now it’s complete i think it may be one of my favourite things i’ve wrote for jax! hope you enjoy. requests are always welcomed - they really help me gain some confidence in my writing. if you’d like to be tagged in future works please lmk :)
“Are you sure you’re okay with this, brother?”
Jax was perched against the door of the men’s bathroom in Diosa.
“If my sister’s going to be with any outlaw, I guess it’s better off being my best friend.”
Jax was amused at this, smirking as he pushed Opie in the shoulder. “As far as outlaws I’d say I’m a pretty big catch.”
Opie scoffed while he zipped up his jeans, “Just don’t break her heart, or I’ll have to break your jaw.” Jax grinned at his best friend, “fair enough.”
You’d known Jax since you were both little kids, and between him and Opie, you always felt like just the pestering little sister, even if you were only two years younger than them. Once you’d graduated college and moved back to Charming, you’d realised just how much you liked Jax. He wasn’t like any guy you’d met at college, and you were crushing.. hard. It had been weeks of playing it cool, and you were done with the act. Tonight you had put on your best dress for Chib’s birthday party at Diosa, and you were going to make Jax see you weren’t just Opie’s annoying little sister anymore.
He walked in from the back rooms with Opie, laughing and running his hands through his hair, rings on every other finger. There was just something about Jax. You pretended you didn’t see him, but any chick with eyes would’ve looked. Melissa, one of the Diosa girls that you’d recently become friends with, had noticed him arrive too.
“Well if your plan doesn’t work in that dress, you got no chance.”
You’d wore the sexiest dress you had, a black short formed velvet dress with tiny straps and the tightest push up bra you could find.
“It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve worn a dress in front of him. He probably won’t notice me at all.”
Nonetheless, you did what you could to catch his eye. You shimmied on your seat towards the bar to make sure Jax could see you, and maybe he could catch a glimpse of your best assets flaunting with the help of your bra. You glanced over at him, wishing he’d glance back so you could lock eyes, yet he was clearly preoccupied by the heated discussion Tig and Bobby were having.
Melissa sighed, “we gotta go for plan B.”
You had no clue what she meant. “Hey Lucas, get over here.” You shifted your view from Jax to her, shocked by whatever she was conjuring up.
“What the fuck are you doing Melissa?”
“You want Jax to notice you?”
“By talking to a prospect?”
“Just shut up and do what I say.” If she wasn’t your closest friend here, you would’ve punched her. Lucas had only been a prospect with the club for a few months, he was shy and in your opinion, a little too innocent looking to be an outlaw. He stood beside your table, unsure what it was he was there for.
“Hey ladies. What can I do for ya?”
“Why don’t you sit down? We don’t bite.” Poor Lucas was melting at the flirty smile Melissa flashed his way. He shrugged and wedged himself on the empty chair placed at the edge of the table, right beside you. You almost felt bad for him.
Almost. Because it was that very moment that you glanced at Jax, and realised he was looking over now, directly at you, smiling while sipping his beer. Your heart started to race.
“What do you think of y/n’s dress?” She must’ve really wanted you to punch her. How the fuck was this going to get you Jax? Lucas pulled at the collar of his shirt, clearly wary that whatever the answer, he was in for it.
“It’s smokin’. Is that all you called me over here for?” Melissa nudged you on the side, pushing you closer to Lucas. “We just thought you may wanna get to know y/n a little better. Seeming as you’re new to the club and all.” You weren’t sure if Lucas looked delighted at the attention or like he wanted to run for the hills.
Melissa whispered in your ear, “It’s working.”
You looked over your shoulder back to the bar, and she was right, Jax hadn’t taken his eyes off you. You decided to play into it a little more. “Hey Lucas, did you know there’s a room out the back that is completely sound proofed?” Melissa gawked at your blunt question. Okay, maybe that was too far. “Umm.. no...” You leaned into him, placing your hand on his leg. “Yep, wanna see?” Lucas gulped and stood up. “Sure, why not.” You smiled at him and held your hand out for him to take, and you both headed towards the back rooms. You didn’t so much as peak at Melissa, but you did look at Jax. He was still watching, as you left the lobby, hand in hand with Lucas.
“This is the room. Pretty cool, huh?” You walked along the velvet wall frame, covered in grey foam squares. The room was large and full of red silk and tapestry. Lucas trailed behind you, closing the door as he followed. “Why would there be sound proofing at a massage parlour?” You laughed, the poor kid really was as naive as he was innocent. “This isn’t a massage parlour, silly.” You were about to explain, until there was a loud knock at the door. Before anyone could answer it, Jax walked in. “Club business out back, prospect. Tig’s looking for you.” Lucas practically ran, nodding at Jax as he left, slamming the door behind him.
And just like that, you were alone. With Jax. For the first time. Ever.
“Hi, Jax.” was all you could get out.
“Hey there, darlin.”
“Club business? Now?” You sat down on the edge of the bed, brutally aware of how high the skin on your thighs were now exposed from the already too short dress. Jax ignored your question as he sat down right next to you, twirling a lighter in his hands. “What exactly were you doing in here with the prospect?” You couldn’t lie to Jax, you were smart enough to know he’d see right through it. You also couldn’t tell him how you’d used the poor innocent soul to make him jealous either. “He wanted to see the room. I was being courteous.” Jax couldn’t contain the laughter now, “Courteous? He looked like his face was gonna melt off.”
Jax stood up and leaned back on his heels, plainly drinking you in with his eyes.
“Were you always this hot?”
Your heart started to race again, crimson filled your cheeks, but you knew you had to play it cool. You narrowed your eyes at him, “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
Jax smiled back at you. “I never really noticed before. Being Ope’s sister kinda means you’re off limits.” Great. Still in little sister territory. “Then why are you here?”
He was walking to the other side of the room before he sat on the love seat in the far corner. “I wanted to check out the sound proofing.” He was highly amused.
“Very funny.” You figured he was just fucking with you, so you got up from the bed, heading for the door.
“Wait, don’t go.” Jax rushed to stand inbetween you and the doorway, blocking your exit. “I’m only messing with you babe. I’m here cos I couldn’t let Lucas have the hottest girl in Charming.”
“What’s it to you if I’m ‘off limits’..”
The gap between you and Jax was slimming so much you were sure he could hear your heart pounding through your chest. “Play it cool, play it cool” was all you kept repeating to yourself.
“That was before I told Ope I want you to be my old lady. And before I saw you seducing the prospects-“, Jax closed what space was remaining between you, “but I guess if you’d rather have a prospect I could leave you lovebirds to it..”
You shook your head. “Lucas is cute and all but you’re pretty alright too.” Jax leaned into you smiling, turning his back from the door. You moved with him, until you were the one with your back against the door, and Jax so close you could feel his chest moving with each breath. “I definitley don’t want to share you with Lucas.” He was so matter of fact. His nose was touching yours, your body’s morphing into one from the closeness. Fuck.
“Then make me all yours.”
Jax pulled his weight into you, pressing you firmly against the door. You grabbed his cut and pulled him tighter, if that were even possible, securing every inch of your body against his. You wrapped your hands into his blonde hair, tugging at the strands, before pulling your mouth to his. You had to stretch on your toes to reach him, using his hair to bring him closer to your level. He kissed you back with intent, his breath warm and smelling of cigarettes and beer, and you couldn’t get enough. Moans escaped between your lips as his hands travelled all over your dress, pushing you even further into the door so you could feel his hard on rubbing against you.
He pulled your hands from his hair, pinning them above your head to the door. He secured you there with one hand, and used his other to trail his fingers down your chest and stomach, pulling the fabric of your dress higher and higher. He kept his hand against your thigh, gnawing at the skin between your legs, all while kissing your neck as he moved towards your ear. “I like you like this”, he whispered. You groaned at the sound of his praise. This all just felt too good to be true.
He tugged the skin of your thighs tighter and the sensation sent tingles through your core, like a fire was burning in your hips towards your mound. It was all too much. “Holy shit, Jax. Just fuck me already.”
He giggled into your neck and suddenly your hands were released, with your feet lifted off the ground as Jax threw you on the bed. He was standing over you, pulling the buckle from his belt in his jeans. “Mmmm.. well maybe I like you like this better. Take off those panties.” You did as he said, knowing you would follow every instruction he ever gave you without a second thought. You wiggled out of your laced briefs while you lay there, before balling them up and throwing them at him. Jax caught them with one hand, and put them in his back pocket before pulling his jeans off. “What about my dress?” you asked playfully. He knelt down beside the bed, extending his hands to feel you under the dress that was now barely clinging to your body, before sliding them down to your legs and spreading them wide. “Stay just like that.”
He pulled at your hips and slid your body down the length of the bed until you were just hanging off the edge. You whimpered at the touch of his tongue to your soaking pussy. Jax was lapping up every inch of you, and you could feel the pressure mounting between your legs in response. “Jax- fuck- please.” It was all too much. The kneading of your thighs beneath his fingers as he pulled you further into his mouth, his tongue circling and sucking and pulling your clit over and over and over and over. You were almost at the brink of relief when Jax pulled away, smirking at you from the bedside. “Ever since I saw you in that dress I wanted to have my head under it.” He hovered over you, licking his lips before planting them on yours, making you taste every drip of your drenched pussy. You couldn’t take much more.
“Don’t make me beg, Jax.” You could barely get the words out between the gasps of air and his relentless tongue encapsulating yours.
“You don’t have to beg darling’, I’m going to take you so fucking bad.”
Jax pulled his cock from his briefs and slid into you before you could even respond, pounding his length into you while pressing your neck with his hand, choking you into the bed. “Fuck- you’re- so- big.” Your eyes rolled in the back of your head at the fullness inside of you. You wrapped your hands around his arm securing his to your neck, craving more. He pushed his thumb into your mouth, holding it open as he repeatedly thrusted into you. “Show me what your mouth can do, baby.” You did as he said, sucking and caressing his thumb with your tongue as he lifted your legs from the bed, pulling him deeper inside you. You whimpered and bit on his thumb to stop the noises pouring from your throat, before he removed his hand from your neck. He leant down into you, kissing you while fucking you, pulling your dress to expose your breasts.
“Don’t need to be quiet in a sound proofed room babe. I want to hear you.” His words took you over the edge, and you came together simultaneously. Jax collapsed to your side.
“Holy fuck, Jax.” You couldn’t get anymore words out. He grinned at you as you giggled, embarrassed at your lack of words.
Jax kissed you before grabbing your ass and pulling you closer to him.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Your cheeks at this point must’ve been the furthest shade of red imaginable. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t real.”
“Better believe it babe. And I’m not even done with you yet.”
#jax teller angst#jax teller smut#jax teller x reader#jax teller fluff#jax teller x y/n#sons of anarchy one shot#sons of anarchy#jax teller fiction#jax teller morrow#charlie hunnam#mayans x reader#mayans mc#sons of anarchy fic#sons of anarchy smut#jax teller#multifandom#smut#fan fiction#sister#best friends#+18 only#smut imagine#rough smut#angst#jax teller fan fic#jax teller one shot#fluff#jax teller y/n#jax teller imagine#reads whatever writes
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dilf!johnny cage > to heal
how it goes when reader dates older johnny following the loss of sonya
warnings: grief, age gap, mentions of sex but no smut written
notes: i want to gnaw on dilf johnny until he is nothing but bones. it is for that reason that this post is LONG. yappasaurus rex over here.
masterlist <3
•first of all mk11 was so bad at covering the grief of a man losing the mother of his child
•then again that also implicates that johnny is really, really good at hiding his emotions, especially around the people he's meant to be stoic around. i wouldn't necessarily cry in front of a thunder god or cryomancer either. and i'd try to keep it together for my kid.
•regardless, johnny falls into a deep, DEEP depression that eats away at him. he should have been there on that mission. he should've canceled that ninja mime shooting and spent one more day with his family before it was completely wrecked. and he'll tell himself this every time he looks at cassie's empty eyes. he stays sober, for her, but god does he wish he could just feel nothing sometimes.
•johnny stays smiles and jokes, but as soon as he closes the door to his sleeping quarters, all he can do is blankly stare ahead. damn him and his acting skills. he wants people to check up on him, but it's just so... hard to express his pain.
•some time passes and he considers himself recovered, but every time he sees his daughter excel in training or lips smile in the way sonya's did... god.
•imagine his surprise when his own daughter asks him to get back into the dating scene. cassie says something along the lines of "you're a sad old fart that needs a woman to get him off of the couch."
•cassie's right, unfortunately. johnny let his stubble grow in and hair grow increasingly wild. he didn't carry himself as well as he once did, which was especially worrying to those who saw him as the confident, sharp, charismatic character.
•johnny declines to his daughter, finding the conversation kind of off-putting. but, on a late tuesday, he decides "fuck it" and sets up a bumble profile while sitting on the classic leather dad recliner in the living room. the one thing he forgot to do? set an age range.
•so he's a little taken aback when a 29 year old you is the third person he swiped to. instinctively, he thought to swipe left on you, but curiosity got the better of him. he read your profile and realized you sounded incredibly mature and had the same interests as him. covering his mouth and holding his phone with the other, he swipes... right, feeling an immediate intense guilt.
•he doubted you'd match with him, but as soon as he swipes, a big "IT'S A MATCH!" covers his phone screen and he lets out an audible gasp, tightening his grip on his face. he then gets a twinge of embarrassment for himself. was he seriously flipping his shit over his first match on a mobile dating app? yes.
•johnny spends a good long while staring at the screen, wondering if you'd even message him. after all, men couldn't message first on the app. what if she thinks he's too old? what if it was an accidental swipe? what if...
•NEW MESSAGE! "hiii :)" johnny swallows, afraid to open the message. what would he say? what should he say? does bumble have read receipts? would you notice he opened your message and stared for several minutes?
•he settles on "hello, how are you?" it's been a while since he's had to genuinely flirt with interest, so he opens cordially. johnny was a charmer for sure, but this time he was playing for keeps, not just for fun. he also, unlike his younger version he met some time ago, wants to take his time.
•you two chat back and forth, and while you acknowledge to him that he is indeed a celebrity (and how hilariously stupid it was that he was on a public dating site), you express no real concern over it. you mention to him that you want to see him as a man and not a character. the deeper conversation of dealing with the spotlight could come another time, as johnny didn't want to scare you away.
•you two text for a lot longer than most matches on bumble. johnny's honestly terrified of meeting up in person. he wants to be so incredibly sure that it's you he wants to meet up with. he forgot to keep swiping, even. he was so fixated on getting to know you. he felt weird talking to multiple women on the app, since he was so used to married life.
•he can't bring himself to ask you on a real date, so you two settle on a friendly coffee chat. he shaves, gets a trim, and for the first time in a long time, stresses about wearing the right things. he even calls cassie and asks if he should wear shirt A or shirt B, but was very keen on redacting your age from the conversation. that was something he was afraid to disclose to her.
•what was this man so afraid of?? you are a SWEETHEART. you're so incredibly mature, have more "vintage" interests and asked so many questions, leaning in to listen. johnny didn't feel the need to perform, in fact, he found himself... with butterflies. he death-gripped his coffee to hide the fact that his fingers were trembling.
•one coffee chat turns into two, and then three, four, and eventually, he feels okay enough to plan a real date. his heart was swelling with excitement, a new warmth in his chest. you were so effortlessly patient and kind with him, never asking for anything of him besides his time.
•he plans a dinner date, squeezing you two into a lavish restaurant that he wouldn't have been able to get into if he wasn't a celebrity. he didn't want to overwhelm you with his money and fame, but god did he want to do this right. even though the topic of money was something you never thought to consider with him, he still wanted to show off at least a little bit. it's just in his character!
•there, he starts to come out of his shell a bit more. he starts flirting back, and you two hold hands across the table, intense eye contact as you converse freely.
•johnny takes a sip of his drink, looking down. but when he looks back up, he notices you admiring him with your sweet young eyes. and it's here that he realizes just how much you've revitalized him. he springs out of bed with a smile. you're the last thought in his mind before he falls asleep. when he is with cassie, he can't stop thinking about how much you two would get along.
•which, by the way, johnny is so incredibly sure to remind you that he has a daughter that's your age. you pause and think, trying to articulate your thoughts on the awkward circumstance.
•"i understand that it may be a little uncomfortable for her and the last thing i want is to drive a wedge between you and your daughter. you speak highly of her and i deeply admire that. i perfectly understand that she comes before me."
•johnny stops himself from tearing up. you're... just so kind. you're perfect.
•after the ninth date, he decides that he's ready to go back to your place. it's a quaint apartment, and it's there that you both make the conscious decision to have sex.
•it's slow and sweet, he's murmuring praises into your bare skin as he takes his time exploring a new body. older johnny takes his time with sex unlike his younger days. he needs to appreciate your beauty, complimenting every feature on your body. you're so divine.
•"such a pretty girl..." he whisper-groans above you, strong hands holding your hips in place with a passionate firmness.
•over the next couple months, he's still working toward officially calling you his girlfriend. a new partner in his life scares him, even if you make all of that tension disappear when you're around. it's just a lot to ask of a man to take that new step again.
•biting the bullet, he asks you at your doorstep holding a cheesily large bouquet, having to glance over it to get a proper look at you. you smile sweetly, nodding and immediately accepting in that gentle voice. you knew how much this meant to him to make things official.
•cassie eventually gets the chance to meet you, as her father brings you along to a holiday party with the family. it's... it's a little weird, she won't lie. i mean, it's just weird in general to see your dad with someone that isn't your mom. that's something that naturally needs time to adjust to. and your age isn't something she can avoid discussing.
•she doesn't hate you. she actually finds you quite enjoyable to be around! she's just a little uneasy that you're her age. but, after a long, long talk full of tears and reassuring words, cassie realizes she can learn to accept you being with her dad. i mean, she sees what you do to him.
•that sparkle in his puppy-dog brown eyes is back, and he just can't stop being engulfed by your presence. a hand is always on the small of your back, a grin always plastered on his face, and eyes are always locked onto you when you're doing the most mundane of tasks. he's chirpier, and people even joke that he seems as active as he was in his younger years. you got the old man's rusty gears turnin'!
•he loves you. he didn't realize he could do that again.
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Devil's Advocate
pairing: hazbin hotel x fem. reader
summery - after you died, you didn't really find it surprising to end up in hell. though, what you did find quite amusing was that your life down here sucked just a bit less than the one before.
word count: 2k
contains: cursing, strong language, sinner reader, violence, religious themes (obviously), sexual themes, demon horniness
part II
"What a fucking nightmare." You muttered to yourself in annoyance as you got out of the car that had driven you up the hill. You slammed the door behind you and didn't bother to look back as the car drove away, your eyes glued to the huge hotel in front of you. You looked grimly at the building for a short while until you finally decided to walk to the door. "Someone's going to get fucked if he's not in this shitty hotel, I swear to God."
Your hand was about to knock on the door when, to your surprise, it was suddenly yanked open. You hadn't even had a chance to touch the wood with your knuckles. "A new guest! Hello! So nice to meet you. My name is Charlie!" Shouted an enthusiastic voice with stars in her eyes as she excitedly grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. She didn't even give you a chance to give her a reaction. "Vaggie! Look! Look, I told you I had a good feeling today! And that good feeling is actually here!"
Her girlfriend looked at your figure with puckered eyes. Vaggie looked at your most prominent features one by one. Cat-like, four eyes, and a fifties style...oh no. "Charlie? I think that - " she began, slightly worried, but didn't get to finish her sentence.
"I'm just here for a visit." You quickly announced before things could get any more difficult and saw the princess's happy mood drop at your words as she let go of your hand at the same time. "I apologize if I gave the wrong impression but you don't happen to have a pussy working around here?" You asked with interest, looking around the room as your eyes landed on a bar. Well, this couldn't have been made easier for you. Your eyes narrowed slightly as you only spotted a spider-like figure on one of the chairs.
"Well, only if ya talking about our good-looking Husky." He said with a big grin on his face and pointed behind him. You could then hear a deep voice swearing. Still, he didn't give himself away, and you sighed at his childish behavior as you stepped closer to the bar. "There's no reason for you to hide anymore. You've already been exposed." You said as you narrowed your eyes at the empty space until he finally appeared. "Fuck you, Angel..." he grunted out.
"Why don't ya do it for me ~ "
You all ignored his flirting. Charlie, out of her own curiosity, decided to move closer to the scene as well. After all, it could still be the case that you would eventually decide to give the hotel a shot. She didn't want to completely rule out this possibility, even if it was a small one. "Oh, so you're here to see Husker?" She asked you, finally seeing the resemblance between the two of you. Well, you both had a cat-like appearance, after all. "Oh! Are you two siblings?"
You laughed. "No. At this point, I'm even doubting whether I'm even friends with this fucker." You answered her when your mood turned sour and you hit the table angrily with both your fists. "Where the hell have you been! I've been looking all over the place to find your ass!" You yelled out, causing the others to flinch slightly at your tone.
"...look, it's a bit difficult to explain. I didn't think about telling you where I am because - " he tried to explain himself when you interrupted him.
You waved your right hand in the air, uninterested. "Yeah, I don't give a damn where you are. I'm not your mother." You said and then crossed your arms. "What I do care about is when your stupid little friend kills my employees to steal my fucking money." You said as your eyes darkened. "And you know how I feel about my money."
Oh, fuck me.
Before the conversation between you could continue, you were interrupted by another voice that wasn't afraid to intrude on the conversation. "Oh my, do we have a problem here?" He asked with a broad smile as he appeared out of nowhere.
Charlie looked at the scene a little nervously. Why am I starting to get a bad feeling? She was briefly interrupted by her worries as Vaggie leaned closer to her so she could whisper something to her ear. "I couldn't tell you before, but that woman over there is the person who owns the banks in hell. Like, all of them. I only heard of her until now." She murmured to her. "As you can guess, she's somewhat of a big deal...they call her She-Devil."
Well, I suppose that's why. The Princess of Hell looked between your irritated figure and Alastor while sweating a little. Two powerful demons in one room couldn't be a good sign, not in this hotel. She tried to calm down and stay positive. Maybe nothing will happen? Maybe they will become friends.
You blinked a few times before looking up and down at the unknown figure to take in his appearance. Then you turned to Husker and pointed your thumb at the guy. "Who the hell is this smiley freak. Do you know him?" You asked, annoyed, and even though you lowered your volume a little, everyone in the room could still hear you clearly enough. Well, it wasn't like you were trying to be subtle or anything, you didn't really care if they heard. "Hey Knuckles, is that your hair or your ears? I can't quite make it out." You laughed as your tail swung comfortably behind you.
Oh no. Everyone in the room looked a little worried at your figure, not really daring to say a word, let alone laugh along.
Alastor's smile looked a little strained as he turned his head robotically to the side. "Allow me to introduce myself. The name is Alastor. Pleasure to meet you, sweetheart. Quite the pleasure." He said, holding his hand out in front of him, and you shook it without a care in the world. Now that you had heard his name, it sounded familiar. "Alastor...aren't you that Radio Devil?"
His eye twitched slightly. "Radio Demon, to be exact."
Oh.
A slight smile graced your face. "Didn't know you were back in town. Does that mean you're coming back to the radio business? 'Cause I hate that podcast of the 2D face and could use some good entertainment." You asked him and saw Husker give you an annoyed look. He's trying to tell me something, but what is it...
You thought for a few seconds and looked back at Alastor until you finally realized it. You looked back and forth between the two of them, and Husker raised an eyebrow at you as if to say, you finally got it?
Oh.That Alastor.
After your comment, the Radio Demon seemed to be in a better mood. "Oh, thank you, my dear. You got quite a good taste there, which is getting harder and harder to find these days." He replied with his familiar smile. "But to get back to your question, I guess I have to say...I'm not called the Radio Demon for nothing."
Of course not. "Good." You say and turn back to the bartender. "Now, where were we? Oh right, I was about to fuck you up." You announced and were about to climb over the bar to let your fists do the talking, only to be stopped by the many arms of the spider next to you. "Whoa, calm down Kitty Kat! As much as I'd love to see the pussy fight between ya two, why don't we hear the man out first, huh?"
You groaned. These people wouldn't let you do your job. "Because we're in hell? And nobody gives a shit?" You rub your forehead, exhausted. "But whatever, talk then."
Husker's head slowly looked up from behind the counter. "...remember how I said that Larry is a very good friend of mine who you can trust completely and that you can therefore give him a job in your company without worrying?" He said carefully before continuing. "Yeah, I lied about that. I lost to him in a game a long time ago, and I owed him a favor."
You looked around the room. "Did you hear that? Are you happy now? I just wanted to punch him in the face and call him stupid names to get it out of my system, but now I'm not only angry but also disappointed...he doesn't even bother to apologize." You said and sat down. You interrupted him before he could say a word. "Just make me a drink since it's the only thing you're good at."
This could have ended worse. Charlie took a step towards you so she could stand next to you. "Well, now that you're here, I can tell you about the concept of our hotel! I'm sure you won't want to leave once you've heard it." She announced cheerfully, unable to read the room at all. She was also just pretty desperate to get more people into this hotel and had a hard time dealing with the fact that the only one who she got in wanted to leave again.
Her girlfriend was about to tell her that maybe this was a bad time to bring it up, but surprisingly, you didn't mind talking about it. "Oh, you don't need to. I've already heard a few things." You began giving the girl hope as you didn't have that demeaning undertone that other people usually had. "You're planning to rehabilitate sinners here, no?"
"Yes! Do you want to give it a shot?"
You shook your head. "Not really." You replied, unknowingly shattering her dreams. Your hand reached for your drink as you turned to the spider next to you. "And the last time I checked, they don't let gay people in there, darling."
Angel Dust rolled his eyes. "Well, ain't that good fucking news. Does that mean I can stop being clean? 'Cause I don't wanna to stop sucking dick." He said and acted dramatically. Tears came up and were about to run down his cheeks when a single beam of light shone on him as he leaned on a chair with his chest. "Ya guys know I love sucking dick."
Panicked, Charlie waved her hands aggressively in the air. "No, of course not! There are gay people in heaven!" She shouted out until she realized she wasn't so sure about that. She needed to do more research on the rules up there. She turned to her girlfriend, looking to her for support. "Isn't that right, Vaggie? There are gay people in heaven?"
She assured everyone in the room. "Of course, there are gay people in heaven."
"Okay, good," Charlie pronounced as she let out a relieved breath with one hand on her chest. She then happily turned back to Angel Dust. "So, you can continue to stay clean then, Angel."
He had a bit of a disappointed look on his face while he sluggishly held his arm in the air to celebrate. "Yay, woo..."
#x female y/n#x female reader#x reader#x you#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin charlie#hazbin imagine#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel imagine#vivziepop#hazbin hotel husk#fanfiction#funny shit#alastor the radio demon#alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction
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they want us to be - m.mount
masterlist
pairing: Mason mount x fem!reader
warnings: angst + me having a lack of knowledge of the transportation systems of Europe
a/n: yeah I’m sorry about this one..
the train ride in from London to Manchester was long and brutal. you’d think somewhere along the lines you’d just move half way in between your best friend and your current job, but moving in this economy was proven to be rather difficult. so the train it was.
the cities and empty towns pass by you in a whirl and before you know it you’re the next stop: Manchester. you’d gathered an overnight bag that feels weightless as you pick it up and move out of your seat towards the exit. you thank the man who helps you off and find his car. it doesn’t take long, it’s the most expensive one in the parking lot.
“hey!” his head snaps up from his phone, whatever it was becomes completely irrelevant once you’re in the warm car and tossing your back in front of your feet.
letting out a long sigh you take a look over at him. his hair still has patches of blond showing and the buzz cut is much shorter than you last had seen it. “hey,” you let out finally. leaning over the center counsel you wrap your arms around him, “why’d you cut your hair?” you gently run your finger tips over the rough ends of his hair before he quickly pulls away, a blush creeping to his cheeks.
“you don’t like it?”
“I’ve expressed my dislikes for it many times.” you’d recall for him the last time he’d cut it short, you couldn’t look him in the eyes without laughing and you’d think he’d learned his lesson that the look wasn’t meant for him, yet without your supervision Mason still went ahead and did so.
“yeah well you’re not my girlfriend so you don’t make the calls.” his bitter tone shuts you up. you result back into looking out the window much like you did the whole train ride here. was this how it was going to be?
LAST TIME | Manchester
“come on, come on! say it again, please.” you laugh, your body leans forward against the wooden table tops as you wait for masons giggle fit to end before he turns serious and does his best impression of his coach on the sidelines.
“you’re getting really good at it.” you lie, or maybe it was flirting. the alcohol in your system had you looking at Mason differently than normal, and it’s not you to blame when he wears a tight black shirt and grey sweatpants that could have any girl swooning in admiration of his biceps.
“am I? I only learn from the best impersonator myself.” he gestures to you in front of him, “give me your best Ben impression, I forgot what he sounds like.”
“you chatted with him on the phone two hours ago!”
it’s his turn to lean in, his hands pressed against the cool table tops as he watches you take a swig from your pint of beer, “and I’ve seemingly forgotten what he sounds like! come on, do it!”
rolling your eyes you give him what he wants and a roar of laugher escapes from him. the sound fills your heart and makes your chest feel fuzzy and your head starts to spin. was this what it felt like to fall in love? was the feeling of falling supposed to be this intoxicating?
“is it crazy I miss London?” he looks up from the empty pint in front of him, his hands awkwardly cup the glass trying to find anything to occupy the numbness in his chest when he mentions his previous home. while Manchester was beautiful and different, you didn’t live here. you lived a train away and that killed him.
“I don’t think it’s crazy, mase. this was a big change— and may I mention a good change.” you reach across the table, your sweaty palm touches the back of his hand and pulls his attention away from the table.
“I guess I just miss you.”
oh. you feel a tightness in your chest as you pull your hand away and sink against the back of the chair.
“I shouldn’t of said that I’m sorry—“
“no. don’t apologize.” you cut him off, “I miss you too.”
a relief washes over his face to hear the words back. there’d been plenty of new friends and faces for him to kindle a connection with, but no one could hold a candle to what you two had. there was an undeniable chemistry that sparked since your teen years and carried on, it’s what made you two inseparable despite the commute.
“I’m sorry, I’m being like the worst drunk ever.”
you shake your head. reaching your hand across the table again, “don’t say that. come on, let’s just go to bed? maybe we just need sleep.” you suggest and he agrees. he trails behind you into his master bedroom that’s practically untouched. the space is so clean and barely lived in, it’s almost uncomfortable to look at.
“will you sleep with me? I don’t think I can be alone right now.” his finger tips grab a hold of your hand, the warmth sends a shock wave through your body making you turn in his direction. he’s standing in the doorway of the bedroom, his large body blocks you from seeing the rest of the room as his eyes plea for your attention.
“mase, that’s dangerous.” you warn. the last time you’d slept in the same bed was the same night he’d gracefully taken your virginity and ever since then you could never see him naked without your ovaries having a reaction to him.
he wets the bottom of his lip with his tongue, his beautiful brown eyes are glassy and convincing, you press your lips against his for a brief second, “I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”
“can’t you stay with me forever?” he whispers half jokingly but half serious. you pretend you don’t hear him and just climb into his bed while he undresses himself.
“I mean what I said. I want you with me forever.”
NOW | Manchester
“pint or glass?”
“glass.” you say setting your things down into the living room and waiting for Mason to come back in. you stare out the large floor to ceiling windows out at the city. the grey clouds and dark skies feel different here, in London you felt safer from the storms, but here? there was something chilling about the look.
“how’s Ben? anything new happening with Chelsea?” he moves into the living room and sets your glass down on a coaster. he takes the seat closest to where you’re standing and watches your eyes move from cloud to cloud and person to person.
“joão left.”
“so I’ve been told.” he says making your head turn in his direction and offer him a small smile before taking the seat next to him.
“but Bens good, he just moved into my building.”
a shocked expression lights his face making you snort, “what? you’re surprised we get along now?”
he nods his head enthusiastically, “yes! it took months for you two to get along!”
“months?! I’d say weeks, he always had a problem with me.”
it’s masons turn to snort making you give him a look of surprise, “he just had a thing for you and then he realized you only like me so he gave up.”
you fight the urge to tell him it wasn’t true. you fight the urge to tell him the reason Ben moved in was because he was with you. the reason you couldn’t stay with Mason forever was because Ben chilwell was your idea of forever.
“well I think he still has a thing for me.”
Mason rolls his eyes whipping out his phone from his pocket, “you want me to tell him off? I can tell him you still have feelings for Christian—“
“no! oh my god one time! I said one time I liked Christian for a week!” you launch your body onto his and try to fight him for the phone while he types and clearly whoever it was, it wasn’t Ben. because the person on the other end responded faster than your boyfriend actually would.
“who are you actually texting?” you press, a cheeky grin on your face, “come on, I know it’s a girl none of your mates respond that fast!”
he puts his hands up as a white flag and admits from start to finish about the new girl he was talking to. he’d mentioned how she was awfully similar personality to yours and how he really liked her, but he fails to admit she’s not you. he likes her enough to keep things going, but she lacks the personality you have.
“I’m so happy for you.” you whisper, voice sounding breathless and a mixture of emotions settled into your chest. you’re happy for him, and this is exciting news, but why did it hurt? Ben was your boyfriend who you so dearly loved, but why was Mason moving on the worst thing you could ever hear.
you guess it’s true, maybe you two were meant to be but you’d never know until you stop loving others and love each other.
#mason mount#mason mount x you#mason mount x reader#mason mount x y/n#mason mount x oc#mason mount fics#Mason mount fic#mason mount fanfic#mason mount fluff#mason mount imagine#Mason mount imagines#football imagine#football oneshot#football fics#football fic#mason mount drabble#football imagines#football fanfic#football fluff#football x reader#football x oc#football x you#football x y/n#manchester united#man utd#man united#ben chilwell#football drabble
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Please give me more from Sope obviously about everything that is happening around him and ghost who all this time thought it was just friendly.
I need the dinner and how they realise that they are the best thing in the world for each other.
it is my honour to expand on soap being oblivious
-
“…I mean, I’m not gay, but—I can appreciate when a man looks good, y’ken?”
Ghost pauses. Really pauses. As in, his forkful of food is held midair just out of reach of his next bite just so he can look at Soap. Really look.
Because he must’ve hit his head at some point to have thought to say something so… strange. Wrong, Ghost wants to think.
Now, Ghost realizes there isn’t a lot about life that he can be completely sure about. But when Soap had approached him—after months of back-and-forth flirting just teetering over the edge of something friendly, after growing and festering feelings developing between them—and asked Ghost if he wanted to go for dinner some time, just the two of them, Ghost had been certain it was a date.
And now Soap is here, sitting across from Ghost with his own fancy dinner, saying this. Unbelievable.
With a deep breath and one last incredulous look, Ghost sets down his fork. Folds his hands over the table, leans back in a chair that has no right to creak beneath his weight with the price they’re paying to be here.
“Say that again,” Ghost demands.
Soap stops mid-sentence, drawing his eyebrows together. A frown—pout—graces his lips, and maybe a minute prior to the present Ghost would be overcoming to urge to kiss it from Soap’s face.
“…I’m not gay?”
Ghost blinks. Levels Soap his most unimpressed stare in the hopes the cogs would start turning without further prompting. But Ghost isn’t so lucky, clearly.
“Why are we here?” Ghost tries instead.
“To eat dinner?” Soap winces like he knows the answer is wrong, but not like he knows why.
“At a nice restaurant,” Ghost says. “Just the two of us.”
Silence falls over them, nothing to break the sudden tension beyond the muted chatter and clinking of cutlery from other patrons.
“Can two friends not have dinner together?” Soap asks meekly. He’s finally begun to sound unsure of his words, shrinking in on himself under Ghost’s questioning gaze.
Ghost sighs. Softly, he urges, “Why did you invite me here, Johnny?”
Soap’s mouth opens and closes a few times as he works through this new problem like it’s an equation to solve, a mission to execute. He sits back, face contorting in deep thought before it eventually goes slack, wide-eyed and naive realization appearing as Soap finally looks back up at Ghost.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Soap drags his hands over his face, cheeks blooming a deep red as he groans into his palms. Ghost can’t help but watch on with a deep but fond exasperation.
“I just—I—this whole time—“
“Don’t need to explain yourself,” Ghost hums. He takes the opportunity to finally shove his forgotten forkful into his mouth. “Glad we could establish this is a date.”
Soap peeks out between his fingers. “You’re tellin’ me you… you agreed to this, thinking it was a date, while I—God, Simon,” he huffs. “You have awful taste in men.”
“At least I know when to come to terms with it.”
Soap scoffs and kicks Ghost’s shin under the table. “Haud yer wheesht.”
Ghost snickers. He jabs his now-empty fork in the direction of Soap’s plate. “Eat your food. Want to make this a real date later on.”
Soap’s face somehow turns an even brighter shade of red.
But he obliges.
And Ghost is very glad to know that he could, in fact, be certain about this one thing.
#ask#writing#drabble#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#soap mw2#ghost mw2
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"Want you"
☆Prompt: Your ex lover wants you back after she realises she misses you.
☆Warnings: Slight smut, mentions of reader drinking.
In the middle of the race track, you stood there motionless as you tried to digest what your ex had just told you. "You're kidding right?"
"I'm not sweetheart~ I mean it when I say I want you back," Bai yi sat on her bike, her legs crossed. You raised an eyebrow at her, still not wanting to believe her.
"Two years ago you said you don't love me. Dating me was a dare from Zoya. Now you want me back? Did you fall off your bike or something?" She let out a loud laugh at your question, seeming to be amused.
"I can never fall of my bike. I know how to ride but I'd prefer 'riding' something else," she put an emphase on riding.
You shook your head in disbelief before hopping onto your bike and driving away, needing time to process it. Bai Yi watched you like a hawk as your bike got further and further away from her. K.K and Che walked up to her, they were even confused as well. "You're not kidding her right boss? Because you kept saying how she didn't mean anything to you and how she was just a fling."
"I know what I said and I regret it now... dating her was truly a blessing and I didn't realise that. I miss her. I want her and I always get what I want." Before they could say anything, Bai Yi drove off in your direction.
After an hour of driving, she found you in a local bar, one that you two used to go two years ago. She found you sitting on a table, far in the back, a few empty bottles of beer. As she approached you, she took a seat on the opposite side, resting her face in her palm while gazing at you lovingly.
"You're so beautiful you know~"
"As if you aren't any different," despite flirting back, you had a grumpy expression on your face making her chuckle.
"Flirty and grumpy. You haven't changed a bit huh?"
"What do you want? Are you here to toy with me again?" At some point, she knew she had to come clean and Bai Yi wasn't one to get too emotional but if it meant having you back, then so be it.
"I miss you," she frowned, hoping that it would convince you.
"You miss me? Or you miss me loving you?"
"Both. I'm so truly I hurt you, I just thought you'd be... boring... I didn't expect that I'd actually fall in love after you left. Please baby, come back to me."
Looking into her eyes, you saw a genuine confession. As much as you loved her, and still wanted to be with her, you don't think you could handle another heartbreak from her. You loved her to bits.
You let out a sigh as you became frustrated, a loud groan leaving your lips. "Bai yi I swear if you're playing with me again-"
"I'm not I promise! I love you y/n!" You stood sat there motionless, finally hearing those words that you dreaded to hear.
"You... you love me?" Bai Yi nodded slowly.
"Do you still love me?"
You nodded enthusiastically before grabbing her hand and dragging her to the bathroom. You locked the door and immediately smashed your lips onto hers, taking her by complete surprise. It took her less than a second to kiss back and wrap her arms around your neck, pulling you deeper. Your lips moved in sync with each other, and it fit so perfectly together.
Once air became a problem, you pulled away. Bai Yi smirked, her arms still wrapped around your neck. "You kissed like you were hungry there, darling~"
"Heh. I was. I haven't had sex since we broke up."
"For two years?! How did you survive?"
"I don't know. But I know you won't after tonight," you gave her a sly wink. Her eyes widened, since when did you become even bolder? She wasn't complaining, she liked this side of you.
She gripped the collar of your shirt and smashed her lips onto yours again, running her hands all over your body. You pulled away and started sucking on her neck, exactly on her sweet spot. She titled her head, giving you access as she let out soft breathy moans.
"Hey! Don't be fucking your lady in there y/n! I saw you dragging her in there!" The owner of the bar shouted at you, a hint of playfulness in his voice. The owner knew you two, but he knew you far more than he knew Bi Yi.
You groaned at the interruption and Bai Yi smiled as she tapped your cheek. "Let's get out of here and finish this is bed. My place or yours?"
"Whichever you're comfortable in."
"Your's it is."
A/n:
Of course the first fic had to be about my wife 😋
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Hi!!! could you make a headcanon of valen with fem merlin please? I've been searching and there's almost nothing ;; thank you also for making the headcanons of other characters ♡
|| VALEN DATING HEADCANONS ||
ᯓ★ just lots of fluff, reader is fem!! (I'm glad you like my other work ☺)
Despite his good looks and the rumours told by the villagers, he's actually inexperienced with love. He's constantly busy with his duties so he never really felt it was necessary to be in a relationship.
That was when he met you and oh boy did he fall head over heels for you HARD.
At first he didn't think much of it and simply just saw it as a task by Hogan to protect you, but the more you guys spent time together, the more he enjoys being by your side.
He was in denial the moment he realised he had developed feelings for you but he also couldn't deny what his heart wanted. So eventually he just chose to go with the flow.
His behaviour wouldn't change drastically but he does seem to develop a few traits when he came to the conclusion that he had a crush on you.
His eyes would linger on you longer when the group discusses on a topic, his brows relaxed as he's giving you the heart eyes.
And how he was always the first person to check up on you after every battles, making sure you weren't hurt anywhere.
He would also notice little details about you. How you seem to rub your arms when you're awkward or play with your hair when you're bored.
There was this one time he noticed you shivering a bit on the cold night so he offered you his cloak/cape, you thanked him which made his heart swoon but his face hid it with a simple smile.
When your group made it back to Holistone after your eventful journey, he was quick to treat everyone with drinks. It was there where he confessed to you.
Scenario ↴
Everyone had left to chat with their friends and he found you drinking alone at your table. With the opportunity in his hand, he slide into the empty seat beside you.
"You're alone, where are your chipmunk friends?" He'd ask with his arm rested on the chair and the other on the table.
"They left to check out the market" You'd say with both your hands wrapped around your glass.
He eyes your face for a while as he tries to think of the right words to say. He gulps but tried to cover it up by pretending to clear his throat.
"I uh—"
"Your face is red"
"Huh?" His eyes widened, but when he realised there was no way out, he ended up relaxing his face with a defeated sigh.
"I guess nothing bypasses the magister. Not even a knight's feelings..." He'd smile warmly at you when it was your turn to be flustered.
The second you guys started dating, it was huge news to the villagers. They were curious how you managed to catch his eye when all of the women have been trying their hardest to get his acknowledgement.
Some even made up rumours that you might have used a love spell on him.
Throughout the relationship, Valen would definitely be affectionate. Expect lots of flirting and corny jokes.
"You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line"
"Valen go to sleep..."
He's also very open with PDA, nothing too extreme though, just simple things like holding hands and kisses on the cheek or forehead. He just loves to see you smile.
I have a feeling that since you two are dating, it would be easier for Valen to figure out you were Merlin. He wouldn't be mad that you hid it from him but rather he understood your reasons for it. Also, he wouldn't say anything about it until your secret was revealed by Mirael.
He'd just stand there with his hand on the handle of his sword, completely unfazed because what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't know that first??
Once your secret was out, expect him to ask lots of questions about your magic.
Like can you give a cat wings?
How does it work?
Could you make him 1 inch taller?
The first time he saw you use your magic outside of battles was when you used it to tie your hair. It baffled him but he had to admit it was fun to watch.
Thats why he would always stare at you all excited whenever you used your magic to do simple tasks. His excuse for his behaviour being "How can I not watch when you look so effortlessly gorgeous 😚"
His petname for you is Dove and this is a headcanon I will defend with all my heart.
He picked the name because he always found doves romantic, the name was easily decided the second you brought love into his life.
I just have a feeling his kisses are playful most of the time but when he's really serious, it'd be the most breathtaking kisses you could ever experience. His hand will always find its place behind your back when you two share the moment.
He definitely adores it when you kiss him too, especially on his cheek where his scar is. He also likes it when you trace your fingers across it because it always help him relax. Your gentle touch soothing his soul from a bad memory.
One more thing. He becomes more protective over you. Not in a bad way though, he knows you can defend yourself with your magic but that doesn't mean he's not gonna try to protect you from the enemy.
He doesn't care if the person is bigger or stronger than him, he'll still draw his sword.
After every fight, you'd always tend to his wounds and even through your complaints at his recklessness, he'd still look at you with genuine love in his gaze.
"You're such an idiot"
"A charming one right?"
He shows you off A LOT. I'm talking like crazy lot. Every conversation he shared with anyone, he's always gonna talk about you several times. It drives Hogan crazy, don't get me wrong, he's happy for you two but he can't seem to get his lovesick head to function.
I make him sound like he's crazy about you (which he kinda is) but it's just he's really proud of you. He's so very supportive of you!! He might even have Chippy and Hammie beat at being your number one fan.
Like hello??? My girlfriend is saving the world here 🙄
Of course, he's a very understanding person. If there's anything you're uncomfortable with, just talk it out with him and he'll make sure it won't happen again.
Now for dates. He likes to take you to the most prettiest spot of Holistone or any places he knows. You guys would just spend time chit chatting or cuddling.
Your personal favourite was when he had managed to plan a picnic for you two on a hill, it was adorable watching him cut the food into smaller slices and then feeding you, it was his way of giving you the princess treatment.
Well he is a knight and it is his duty.
Since he's very affectionate, he can also be a tease. He likes teasing the height difference between you two. He finds it adorable.
"You're so small. Are you sure you're as the myth foretold? The mighty merlin? So cute..." He'd stroke your hair with a smile.
I feel like he'd teach you some skills to defend yourself just in case. He knows your magic is powerful but he's not gonna risk it, not when it comes to you.
The lessons would mostly be basic hand-to-hand combat. There was this one time you managed to beat him in a friendly duel and even though he was going easy on you, he was still proud of you regardless so he showered you with compliments.
Another thing I'd like to add is that he secretly write poems dedicated to you. He's too embarrassed to share them with you so if you ever found out, he thinks he'll actually dig a hole and bury himself alive. He'll only share ONE poem with you once he finishes rereading it for the 19373th time and making sure it's good.
By the way, this man can get jealous. He doesn't like seeing Lorsan get too close to you. Half of the times he'd actually cross his arms without even realising when watching you two talk. You always laugh at his behaviour which he does not appreciate.
"What are you laughing at? I don't see anything funny about it..."
Also did I mention how he smells like white musk?? You know like those scents that you smell and you just feel so in love??? Yeah that.
Honestly... 100/10 BOYFRIEND!!
#SO IN LOVE THAT IM SAD#ROADRUOR#afk journey#afk journey x reader#afk journey fluff#afk journey valen#valen x reader#valen x female reader#afk journey headcanons#afk journey valen x reader#x reader#fluff#headcanons
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Wrong Choice …
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
This is my honest approach to the jealousy trope, because if it was IRL, I’d like to think a lot of us would just be insecure, and far less brazen. (Not that I don’t love a good jealous / smutty coupling)
Warnings: Jealousy, Fighting, Mean words muttered in anger, Injured reader, poor communication. Insecurities: •Natasha—Fear of abandonment | •Reader—Fear of being cheated on (again) / Used
18+ | Minors DNI |
Smut: Daddy(R), Good Girl (N), ‘Oral’(N-Sucking off a strap/getting throat fucked), Riding (N-Strap), Nipple stimulation (N), Teasing(N/R), lightweight Subby Natty. Kinks: Bulge, Degradation, Cock warming. (This wasn’t even supposed to happen, this was going to be smutless)
Natasha Romanoff is an absolute flirt, it's a well established notion around the compound, her smirk alone had the potential to inspire a room full of sexual tension. It’s not entirely her fault, it's been engrained in her psyche from all her forced training that it's now just apart of her daily banter. Her particular skillset was how she eventually won you over, and after making things official with her over a year ago you'd thought all the flirting would stop with you, but boy were you completely wrong.
Standing in a corner of the tower with your cosmo in hand you were silently seething. Across the way was a sight you'd never wanted to see, but no matter how hard you tried to look away you just couldn't bring yourself to. There stood Natasha, the love of your life, with her hands on the sizable bicep of none other than Bucky—her former booty call, and it all made you feel incredibly small, as if you weren't enough for her anymore, or maybe it was that you simply never were.
———————————
When she asked you out you thought you were the luckiest girl alive, but now you realize you were holding onto a childish hope with her. Natasha was beyond gorgeous, and could have anyone she wanted, but she'd settled for you. Maybe this was her finally realizing that, and breaking up with you just slipped her mind, or better yet, maybe this was her way of doing it. Insecurities plagued your mind, your previous 'this is what you deserve,' and the 'you'll never find someone willing to stay,' mantras ringing throughout your head on a continual loop.
A stream of tears falls down your cheeks before you could stop them, memories of your last two relationships coming back in flashes, hitting you like a freight train, and the idea that it could be happening all over again made your stomach twist into unbearable knots. It hurt twice as bad since she knew all about your most recent previous relationship with Sharon; just enough to know that the woman was an asshole who took advantage of your never ending well of kindness, and that she deserved to disappear off the face of the Earth for ever making you cry like she always managed to do.
Your phone buzzing pulled you from your short lived pity party when it was Fury's name flashing across your screen., "Agent Y/L/N, care to assist Commander Hill on a mission tonight? I'm aware there's a party, but I'd —." The poor guy couldn't even finish his thoughts, "I'm on my way.," your voice dangerous as your feet carry you out of the tower and to your car; Natasha can surely find her own ride home, or better yet she can stay with Bucky, ride him for all you care and leave your apartment empty.
—
Natasha was holding the pose perfectly, the subtle, but not really subtle touch of the arm, paired with the exaggerated laughter, and the inappropriate amount of side boob on display. If she played her cards right you'd be ripping her from the soldier, and out of the party in no time to remind her just where she belongs; Beneath you, as your tongue was relentless with its attacks on her, the thought alone had her soaking through her undergarments.
Bucky however takes notice of you, he began to shake her off, "Natasha, your girlfriend looks hurt.," his heart stuttering at the sight of your clearly distorted face. "The whole point is to make them jealous! Steve's glaring daggers into my back right now, and Y/N's—." Bucky interrupts her, "Leaving..."
Natasha turns around so fast the soldier's metal arm has to catch her so that she doesn't wind up eating shit. The glimpse of your wet cheeks telling her she royally fucked up here, "No, why is she crying? I, this wasn't supposed to happen.," she looks to the soldier for clarity, "Natasha, do you not know the hell she's been through? Honestly, I never should've indulged in your silly game because now she's hurting. Sharon cheated on her in her own apartment, and Maritza did that and then some to the poor girl, and now here we are playing an immature game of jealousy to have a steamy night."
Natasha's already running as Bucky airs his grievances, grabbing her coat from the hanger and charging out of the thick doors just in time to hear tires screech, and to see your brake lights as you tear out of the compound lot. Natasha's anxiety was through the roof, she wasn't even considering the prospect of a negative reaction, but fuck did she feel stupid now after the full picture was before her.
——
Natasha has been unavailable to the world, every phone call ignored, and though most can figure out where she is, they know better than to just show up at your apartment and get her. It had been a week since she last saw you, even longer since she got to hold you or to feel your lips due to just returning from her own mission, and her already fragile heart was breaking more and more everyday. Nobody knew where you went, and if they did they surely weren't telling her, so she'd taken up a permanent residence on your couch. Marvin your calico appreciated the company, or at least he did up until she began to use him as a living tissue for her nonstop well of tears.
It was about 2pm on a Friday when she heard keys jangling in the door, her eyes widening at the state of herself, and the surrounding mess taking over the living room of the apartment. Food wrappers of all kinds covered the coffee table next to her gallon of water, she smiled goofily at the thought of you being proud of her for staying hydrated, but then reality sunk back in, and she remembered how hurt you looked when you left without a word that night.
When the door finally creaked open she stood up from her permanently molded spot on your couch, taking in a steadying breath as she was anticipating seeing your face as it rounded the corner., "Sestra, Jeez, you look like the shit!," The redhead's shoulders deflated at the sight of Yelena, and she wondered if this was your way of breaking the news to her that you weren't ever coming back, and though she tried to fight it off she began to hyperventilate to the thought of you never returning to her.
Dreams were not much of a factor for her previously, but something about the way you smiled at her inspired her to live life like it was hers for the taking, and with you she soon realized it genuinely was. Life with you was everything she had ever wanted, and more ; even without discussing the future in too much detail in fear of rushing you, or coming off too strong she knew she wanted you there for every possible milestone there was to come.
Every first that ever counted to her was with you, no one had ever taken such care with her before, and though you weren't her first, you were the first person to make love to her. You'd reassured her when she hesitated that there was no rush, and you stayed true to your words as you took your time cherishing her. Every other encounter she has ever had was rough, and rushed as they used her for their own selfish needs then left come morning. She'd burst into tears about halfway through, you were nothing if not gentle, and it was then that she knew she was safe with you.
Something as mundane as having her morning coffee became an adventure for her; the both of you dancing around the other in the kitchen, sharing soft touches, and stealing glances while preparing for your separate days full of work. The morning routine almost always ended the same, you would be sat on the counter with Natasha stood in between your legs, your face in her hands as she slowly made out with you until the very last possible second, sometimes she'd even rationalized being late for just a few more minutes with you.
Silence had always been something that really bothered her, countless nights chained to a bed in the red-room where all she could hear were the leaky pipes, squeaks of mice, and cries of her fellow widows enough to make her wary. Then she came to learn over time that it was something you needed after a long day of work; you'd be tending to your shrubbery while she lounged on your soft recliner with a good book. No words were spoken, but the silence wasn't terrifying with you, the atmosphere was warm, and beyond welcoming; Marvin's purrs, pages shifting, and water trickling would be the only thing heard throughout the hour, and it never ceased to calm her chronically frantic mind.
You were her calm in every storm.
Everyone who was supposed to protect her, and to love her had left her behind like it was the easiest thing to do, and it was always a sore spot for her; that's why it took her three years to let you in, and now she's faced with losing you in much the same way, and she can't do it. What hurts her the most though is knowing it would've been her fault this time; that her sunshine was actually gone all because she was trying to spice up an already amazing enough sex life by means of pointless jealousy.
Yelena watched her sister collapse to the floor, of course she knew why, and though it hurt to see her so visibly broken she also struggled to find any sympathy for the redhead. Still, she lowered herself to the floor and held her close while her body violently shook with sobs., "Lena, where is she?! I-I want to tell her I'm sorry, it was all so stupid, and now she's gone.," Yelena hummed in acknowledgment, one hand on her sister's back as she traced calming circles while her other was extending out to reach for your baby cactus., "Da sestra, you are indeed very stupid, she'll come back, but that doesn't mean you deserve her forgiveness."
Natasha sobbed even louder at the harsh truth her sister unleashed, and Yelena slowly moved the cactus beneath her sister's cheek in a sly attempt to do as you'd asked of her., "I know, but—.," Natasha paused as something harsh brushed against her face., "Lena, what the hell are you doing?," Yelena looked at her sister as if it was the most obvious thing., "Y/N asked me to come over to refill Marvin's automatic feeder, and to water the plants, so since you were crying so many of the rivers I thought I'd kill two pigs, with the one pebble."
Natasha blinks away the remaining tears, her sisters words turning her off from her own grief., "So she has access to her phone then?," the question slips out and Yelena simply nods, always having refused to lie to either one of you for the other, regardless of the circumstances.
Natasha laughs, the short and bitter rumbling in her chest a bit of a shock to the blonde., "So, instead of facing me she's hiding? Leaving me to cry myself to sleep every night without even a text to let me know she's alive?!" Yelena was quick to stand as her sisters anger festered, moving around your apartment rather quickly in an attempt to avoid her sister's wrath, but it wasn't working,, "I can't fucking believe her! She didn't even talk to me about it! She just ran off like a big fucking baby, that's it, I'm dating an actual child.. When did that happen?! Maybe this was a sign, yeah? That nothing good is ever meant to last, and I should just put an end to the misery now."
Yelena dropped the bag of kibbles onto the floor much to Marvin's delight, in three quick strides she was face to face with her sister, and though her face was neutral she was pissed., "No Natalia, you don't get to be mad here, you tried to make the already insecure woman jealous, and it's not like it was a random floozy, no, it was your ex fuck buddy Bucky Barnes.," Yelena's hands were gripping onto her sister's shoulders tightly, shaking her with every word.
"Running was her defense mechanism, it's called fight or flight, and you triggered it by bringing back up her falsehoods of never being enough.," Natasha shook out of the hold and fell back onto the couch in a shamed silence., "Do you know how many nights I had held her trembling body after Sharon and Maritza?," Yelena was crying herself as she recalled it all, "Then I put all my trust in you to take care of her heart, and somehow after a year of success you just fucked it all up, then have the nerve to act like the jilted party here because she's taking her time with forgiving you."
Natasha just looks up at her sister as if she were a wounded puppy, and the blonde sighs., "If anything you should be proud of her Nat, because the old Y/N would've come running back to you without a single doubt, and I would have resented you for it had you let her do it." The redhead nods, and settles her cheek atop of her bent knees, eyes returning to the TV once more and the blonde takes that as her sign to go, leaving with a kiss to her forehead, and a text message sent to you.
—
*Go home, and either fix this or set her free.*
It's not that you didn't want to go home, because you missed your own bed like crazy. It's that you felt like an idiot for just running out, and accepting a mission in a fit of anger. You'd been completely off your game, and Maria wound up having you replaced after the third day when you took a bullet to the left shoulder that left you incapable of helping.
Being in the shield medical wing in a foreign country left you with a lot of time to think, and to read all of Natasha's hundreds of messages where you were able to not only see, but feel the desperation as it jumped off of the screen and settled into your cracked open heart. Regardless of her thoughtless flirting, you felt inclined to forgive her as it didn't take you much reading to realize her true intentions. You'd refused to have the conversation over text though, because so much gets lost through digital communication, and you wouldn't want anything else to go wrong.
Fortunately for the sake of your relationship Maria promised she'd pick you up today, the mission proving rather successful even with your hiccup, and you were relieved for that. The relief was short lived as the next wave of anxiety rolled through you, and it was directly linked to having to face Natasha after a week of inexplicable silence, Yelena's text didn't help you to stay calm, nor did watching the angry footage from your home security cameras.
Nonetheless, you loaded into the jet with a nervous smile on your face, and spent the entire three hours in the air going over what you should say. Much to Maria's dismay too as she was forced to play the role of a soundboard. When she was shoving you out of the jet faster than you could unbuckle with the excuse of mission reports you were chuckling, then for the fun of it all, or to simply call her bluff you texted Fury 'You're welcome for the increased productivity, expect Hill's reports by 5pm.,' You knew how much the commander hated all the paperwork, her usual excuses were actually pretty funny but you felt she deserved this slight for being so pushy.
The uplifted mood was short lived when you climbed into your car, excruciating jolts of pain radiated all throughout your body as you were forced to use your shoulder to drive around, but once you got settled on the road the pain had faded. It just couldn't compete with your stuttering heart the closer you got to your apartment. You'd taken the long way to give yourself time to calm down, even stopping off for a quality bottle of vodka and loads of snacks in preparation for the hypothesized long night.
Entering your own place had never been a point of stress before—come to think of it, neither had talking to your beautiful redhead. This is the first official form of dissension to ever arise in your otherwise solid relationship. Sure, you've definitely had arguments over the little thing; like cleaning up after oneself, or Marvin's diet, but it always ended the same—with cuddles and laughter as Natasha would grumble that her bra does indeed belong on the coat rack, and you'd reluctantly concede that five pieces of salami as a treat for 'being adorable,' was a bit much for the lazy feline.
The both of you were insanely stubborn, opinionated women who took their time in falling but subsequently loved really hard. Which really only leaves room for two routes, this will either be resolved instantaneously or it will become a heated blowout, and you just hope that if it's the latter that it doesn't mean everything is coming to an end, because now that the anger had faded you couldn't seem to imagine your life without the woman.
She was the woman of your dreams after all.
After shaking out some nerves you steadily put the key into the knob, quietly opened the door, then nearly collapsed at the sight of your space. A week, in seven days time she'd managed to make it a filthy mess, it was rather impressive. Funny too, because nobody else knew that she was a slob, her record for being all put together would crumble if you just sent Tony a picture. Shaking your head of the deadly idea you move in to pet an impatient Marvin behind the ears, then peer into the living room to see Natasha.
She was sleeping, you'd say peacefully but the tear stained cheeks, and body tremors gave way to the truth that she was in total misery. Settling your items onto the counter you pulled down two shot glasses in preparation then left it all on the counter so you could approach the love of your life without needing booze first., "Tasha...," she shifted, even grumbled some, but she remained asleep., "Honey, I need you to wake up, I think it's about time we talked."
Natasha was deep in a nightmare, one where you had that exact talk, and it wasn't anywhere close to as sweet as you're trying to be. It was an all out screaming match, and your words were haunting: 'A natural heartbreaker, you don't deserve me, and more to the point you're unlovable.,' 'You're just the common man's whore Natalia, always eager to please, a total fucking slut.,' 'Hope whoring yourself out was worth it Nat, because you've lost me for good.'
Your last words being, 'Get out, and never come back, you're no longer welcome here!,' was what officially did her in.
The phrases were so unlike you, deep down she even knew it was a horrid dream, but she just couldn't bring herself out of it, nor could she stop herself from believing every single word. How could she when they were her own thoughts being projected at her by your form? In real time her body was violently shaking, tears dripped down her face as she whimpered vaguely audible pleas, 'No. Please...,' The sight of her so broken was beyond devastating, and guilt began to gnaw at you for ever thinking silence was the best remedy to the situation.
Sadly your soft approach wasn't working, no amount of light shaking or whispered comfort brought her out of it, so in a desperate attempt to awaken her you slapped her across the face. Her reddened cheek only deepened at the sheer force you used, and in a perfect display of karma you were laid out on the floor with how abruptly she sat up; wincing as your shoulder took the brunt of the impact, and groaning as it consequently throbbed. Natasha's bleary eyes downcast to your pained form on the floor, and without much thought she jumped on you, only furthering your pain, but this time you did your best to mask it in favor of comforting her.
No words were said while you laid on the hardwood floor, holding tightly to Natasha's sobbing form all while whispering reassurances to the clearly distressed Avenger., "It's okay...," "You're going to be alright honey, I got you...," "It wasn't real, this is real, can you feel that? Whatever you saw it was a lie, your brain was tricking you, please, come back to me love.," With each soft phrase her body began to relax, her sobs faded into sniffles, and she somehow nuzzled even further into your chest for the much needed comfort.
Once you felt she was calm enough you decided now was a great time as any to cut the silence., "I'm so sorry for leaving honey, it's no excuse but something broke in me when I saw you and Bucky so close together. It was like all those years where I silently pined after you, where you had always kept me at an arms length, but now that I finally had you the idea that you were bored already really twisted me up.," While you sighed you felt her body tense., "Your messages told me quickly that I had read too far into things, but it didn't change how it made me feel, just made me regret my actions. It was too late to come back though, I'd been in Italy, stuck in their medbay...,"
Natasha cut off your speech with how quickly she lifted her head to peer down at you, lip trembling when she saw the fading scratches on your face, and her hands began to roam before you quickly cut their search off with a gentle grabbing of her wrists., "Angel, I'm okay now, please just let me finish up my thoughts.," Natasha melted into you again as you kissed her wrists, her willingness to fight at an all time low., "I really didn't know how to respond, and texting just felt so cheap, and a call impersonal. Now though, I realize even a simple text of 'Talk soon love.,' would have brought you some peace of mind, and I'm sorry I deprived you of that. I know that you're sorry too, I forgive you Natty, and I hope that you can forgive me too."
A loud sob broke from her chest at your words, your readiness to forgive her was both a relief and a stab to the gut as she felt undeserving. Her eyes shone with the various emotions as she pulled back to gaze into your honest pair. Her gaze fell to your lips for a millisecond, and you caught the longing in her eyes, so without anymore words you raised your hands up to cup her cheeks, wiping away her tears as you warmly smiled up at her before settling them behind her neck, and pulling her in for the kiss you'd both desperately needed all week long.
Natasha whimpers at the feel of your soft lips on hers, eagerly parting them as soon as your tongue had swiped across her lower lip, and she moaned once your tongue slid across hers. Her hands reflexively curled around and pulled at the hem of your shirt, causing you to pull back with a breathless chuckle as she moves to chase your lips,. "Baby, either you want my lips or you want my shirt off, now make a choice.," she narrows her eyes at you and softly huffs, but she leans back to allow you room to sit up.
Her hands return to the bottom of your shirt as soon as you're upright, then everything stops when she pulls it over your head and though you tried to hide it, it was of no use as she hears the shallow breath you take in, her eyes fall from your face to your stitched shoulder. Fresh hot tears immediately return to her eyes, and you see as the guilt washes right over her., "Natty, I'm fine, it's just an itty bitty scratch.," Her shaky fingers traced over the surface of the clear bandage, and her lip began to tremble.
"It's my fault...," her croaky voice gave way to just how little she'd actually used it, and just how much she'd been crying, your heart was back to aching as you gripped her chin to bring her eyes back to yours as you spoke., "No!" Natasha went to rebut but the stern look in your eyes told her it was pointless, and you were grateful to her easy submission.
"It's not your fault Tasha.," you reassured her as you moved to kiss her cheek., "I'm okay.," her tears falling into the bow of your lip, and you continue to whisper the words, oscillating between her cheeks until she ceases to cry., "This was a miscalculation, and it was mine.," you conclude, then with your hold on her back you pull her back in to pick the mood back up, and to cut her many contradicting thoughts off.
Natasha squeals as you suddenly use your arm to then hoist her over your good shoulder, she dangles freely as you get to your feet. Emerald eyes full of wonder are glued to your backside, and her hands almost move of their own accord as they joyously squeeze at your covered asset, "Hey!," your nervous hearts settles when she only giggles at your weak warning shake, and just simply continues to knead at your ass.
The atmosphere in the room shifts when you toss her onto your bed, her eyes shamelessly trail down your exposed torso, and they only widen when she notices the bonus appendage poking out against the fabric of your pants. Once her eyes finally trail back up they find your blown out ones staring back, but your expression is starkly different, almost stern., "Let's discuss the real problem shall we?"
She quirks her brow at you, but regardless of the overall confusion she nods desperately, hopeful that if she was compliant that you'd give it to her., "Well, my sweet girl needed my cock, I was too clueless to see it was all just a cry for my attention...," Natasha had to fight the scowl that tried to consume her face, even if you were telling the unfiltered truth, all this teasing about it still promptly annoyed her., "Funny too, because all you had to do was ask. I'd wanted to fuck you the moment you got back, but then you were ushering me off to Stark's fiftieth gala of the year with silly plans of your own, because sometimes my sweet girl only thinks with her needy pussy huh?"
As if on cue Natasha's thighs are rubbing in search of friction, your hands were quick to throw them back open, as you settled your leg in between to prevent further disobedience., "I'm not into the whole jealousy thing, I don't need it to handle you properly...," you mused, and Natasha gulps when your hands shove her down by her shoulders so that she's flat and beneath you as you are now hovering over her.
"Tell me though baby, who do you belong to? Seems you might've needed the refresher." Your name dies in her throat when you sink your teeth into her neck, you lick over the mark to soothe the irritated skin then lowly chuckle, "I'm sorry love, I didn't quite catch that, wanna repeat it for me?," Natasha glares up at your now smirking face, but your quirked brow in warning has her smoothing out her features just as fast., "I'm all yours daddy... Mind, body, heart, soul... Every piece of me belongs to you."
Your heart wholeheartedly warms at her honest words, but you keep your face teasing as the title she used fuels your lust ridden mind., "Daddy's girl can be so smart sometimes..." you tease, rolling the covered bulge against her for emphasis on your intentions, and it proves to work well when her hands fist at the sheets., "Tell daddy what you want baby, seems you're finally learning how to properly communicate."
Everything about the moment is overwhelming for the redhead; the way you're speaking to her has her mind and panties a wholly mess, all of your subtle touches prove to be too much, but in the same turn they're somehow not enough, and it's left her to squirm about as she tries her hardest to formulate words since you are willfully ignoring her bodies obvious answer., "I-I.," she swallows thickly when looking into your blackened eyes, all the color muffled by the lust coursing through you., "I need you to be inside me, please, just fuck me daddy..."
Natasha whines as you teasingly chuckle, her eyes tracking your every move, you lean into her, lips ghosting over hers while maintaining steady eye contact with the absolute beauty., “Suck daddy off baby, get my cock ready for your pretty pussy, then I’ll let you ride me.,” Natasha wastes absolutely no time, she surges forward to attach her lips to yours, and her hands wrap around you to flip your positions. Gentle as can be too, she makes sure that when your body slams into the mattress that your shoulder isn’t affected, and as she pulls you both into a sitting position she manages to prop an abundance of pillows behind you so that you’re not straining your muscles.
The care she shows you even in the heat of the moment has your heart swelling two sizes, but when watching her slip onto the floor with your sweats so smoothly you’re back in the moment. Natasha smirks up at you with her bottom lip caught between her teeth while her hand toys around with your strap, playing up the act of jerking you off, and you groan as she pushes down, causing the harness to rub you just right. Natasha’s eyes remain locked on yours as she runs her tongue over the tip teasingly, and you give her the silly moment, enjoying the little play for power, but you both know it’s all yours.
“Such a silly girl, you do know it’s only you who suffers right? Tease me all you want baby, but that just means it’ll be ages until I fuck you.,” You laugh out mockingly, settling even further into your pillows while watching her eyes widen with the realization, and you wink when she gives in, wrapping her lips around the tip and begins to bob up and down the faux shaft., “Such a good fucking girl, you look so hot when you’re on your knees for me.,” her loud gags every time that you jut your hips upwards aides you on your journey towards your release.
Natasha mewls when you take over for her, a hand tightly gripping her by her hair, and you relentlessly slam her head down while your hips ruthlessly fuck the strap down her throat. The sight of her at your complete mercy has you reaching your peak with a loud groan after only a few more harsh thrusts. Your hand slips from her matted hair, and Natasha slowly pulls herself off the dildo with a loud pop, a trail of spit keeping her connected to you until she’s leaning back all the way, her ass settling on her heels while she works on catching her breath.
She watches you through hooded eyes as you do much in the same, recovering from your glorious high, and just the sight of you in a blissed out state had her squirming excitedly for her promised reward. She can feel just how affected she is by your domineering actions, her slick actively dripping down her thighs and onto your carpet showing her as much.
You can feel her staring up at you, and you have to fight off a knowing smirk so as to not give yourself away. The goal is to have her so incredibly needy that she can’t take it anymore, and you don’t even have to wait long before her hands settle on your thighs with a harsh grip, a wordless whimper leaving her lips. “Mm…,” you hum to let her know you hear her, then you open your eyes to find a masterpiece; those doe eyes full of silent need, her disheveled red hair, and those plump, bruised lips that shine.
The both of you are having a curious stare off, Natasha was being so incredibly good as she humored you with feigned patience, but with one curl of your pointer finger she’s on you., “Sweet girl, go ahead, a promise is a promise.,” Natasha smiles at your granted permission, you return the gesture as you share a moment of gentleness, your lips sealing the pure feeling, and catching the hot moan of your lover as she slides down your cock with embarrassing ease.
Natasha bounces rhythmically atop of you with her hands on your shoulders, her head thrown back with her mouth agape in a state of bliss. With your right hand on her lower back you keep her steadied while she shamelessly uses you to work herself up, moving like a madman who’d been deprived of all forms of touch, and you feel that delicious pit in your stomach steadily tightening at the idea of being used by such a powerful woman such as herself.
Natasha arches into you even further when your tongue flicks over her nipple, while a set of fingers pinches at the other, her breathing becomes more erratic the longer you play with her breasts, and she rips your lips away to slam against her own when she just can’t take it anymore., “Daddy, I-I need to cum, please.,” Your hands move to her hips., “Let go then.,” you murmur before your tongue moves to explore her mouth, you then roughly lift her up, and slam her back down while also jutting upwards, your strap goes into her so deeply that you can actually feel when the soft skin of her hips beneath your thumbs tightens as her belly forcefully bulges out.
It intrigues you immensely, your entire body in relative awe when you pull away from the lips of your lover to catch sight of the bulge. Natasha’s entire body spasms when you don’t stop, unrelenting in your need to continue to see this phenomenon, and so for the final time you’d offer a resistance by pushing down on it. Resulting in an intense jolt of her body as she screamed into your neck, her rather sudden orgasm came flooding out, and in a show of absolute synchronization yours does too, but this wasn’t supposed to be about you anymore. You held onto her hips tightly, just taking a moment to revel at the sight of the deliriously beautiful, panting mess that perfectly resided in your stronghold.
Rolling off the pillows you push her into the mattress, continuing to slowly rock your hips, allowing her the chance to prolong the orgasm and for it to come to an end at a leisurely pace. You watch closely as her expressive face tells you exactly when to cease your movements., “Oh baby, you look so tired…,” you coo, and she whines when you move to pull out of her, but the fight is superficial as your words reign true.
“I’ll tell you what my sweet girl… I’m going to go get us a snack, and grab your half finished gallon of water, I’m so proud of you honey.,” Natasha smiles victoriously as you praise her before sweetly pecking her on the lips, then she cries when your warmth is gone from over., “Ah-ah, Don’t whine now baby…,” you warned, her face instinctually neutralizes, and you smile as you feel somewhat accomplished.
“After we take care of ourselves, and you show me my very best girl I’ll let you cock warm daddy so we can take our well deserved nap. When I eventually wake up, I’ll then reawaken you by relentlessly fucking you into the next morning, sound fair?” Natasha frantically nods, and so you rush off to work your magic.
Returning in record speed with a plate full of garlic hummus and various means of foods to use for dipping, you feed the tired woman until she’s pushing your hand away much like a baby, and you chuckle at the show of delirium., “All done? Use your big girl words.,” you tease, and though beyond tired she’d still managed to narrow her eyes at you, and you playfully stick your tongue out at her before settling your lips to hers in a play for distraction.
Natasha happily sighs against your chest when you reenter her with minimal effort, and you sigh once your body is perfectly molded to her., “Detka…,” you tiredly hum in a nod for her to go on., “I’m so sorry, and please let me say it. You didn’t deserve—.,” your finger settles over her lips, and she groans at the silencing., “Natty, apologize to me later if you must, I’m too spent to properly address you, and that isn’t really fair to either of us. Come morning time I promise I’ll accept it all the same, so sh.”
Natasha settled into the mattress, slinging a blanket over your conjoined, naked body, and her arms wrapped around you protectively., “Sweet dreams detka, I love you.,” you tiredly smiled and kissed her bare chest., “I love you most my sweet girl, rest up, because I promise my dreams will be anything but sweet.”
Truth be told there was still a lot to hash out, but that seems like a tomorrow problem for the more level headed versions of the both of you. You’re more than content in the lusty bubble, and don’t wish to ruin the highs with hurt feelings, and Natasha’s submission tells you she’s on the same page as you.
Of all the ways this could’ve played out you’re just happy it was your fantasy third option, and that most of the tears were pleasurable…
—————————————————————
6,457 Words
(I can’t imagine I missed any warnings but do always tell me if I did, so I can be able to better protect you in the long run-even in an anon message if you’re not comfortable with a comment 💋)
😳 — 💋
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff fluff#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff smut#natasha x reader#natasha x y/n#natasha x you#natasha x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x female reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x y/n#natasha romanoff x reader#natasharomanoffpov#gxg#black widow angst#black widow fluff#black widow smut#black widow x reader#black widow x y/n
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and they were roommates
sfw. warnings: reader is gender-neutral, mild scott pilgrim vs. the world spoilers, mentions of alcohol/alcoholism, migraines, hangovers, angst, a sad wallace, etc.
author’s note: scott is my least favorite character, so expect some jabs to be thrown at him in here. anyway, sorry if this is trash or too cringeworthy. i tried my best, y’all ✌🏻
• you’ve known of wallace through a few stories your closest friend, stacey pilgrim. you mainly just listened to her rant about him stealing a few of her boyfriends.
— sadly though, wallace ended up breaking things off with other scott…and jimmy…and that other guy that he can’t remember the name of. the good thing is that scott finally moved out since he is planning on living with ramona. still…it did get a little lonely at times.
• because of how sad and isolated he felt, wallace began to drink. well, more than usual anyway. every night he could be seen lounging at his favorite bar with a generous of empty beer bottles/cans in front of him.
• it wasn’t until the fourth night of this repetitive cycle is when wallace met you: [name: y/n l/n. occupation: bartender. 24 years old and he’s never seen you until tonight which is surprising since wallace practically knows everybody.]
— right off the bat, you two hit it off right away. there was an underlying tension there but for the first few occurrences when you either bumped into wallace in the street or found him at the bar, it goes untouched & unmentioned.
• that was until wallace asked for you phone number when he is drunk. it was really sappy, but he was still nice about it. it makes you happy that wallace isn’t an angry drunk, like whatsoever. he’s just happy to be there and very sleepy. there were a few times where you had to give him over to his place because you didn’t trust him to get there on his own.
• you were always so kind to him, always treating him better than he probably deserved.
• needless to say, it didn’t take long for wallace to think of you in the highest regards. you two even started hanging out outside of the bar where you work at. if he needed something to be picked up, you’ll do it with no questions asked or you would sometimes pay for his coffee if you were out to get yourself a drink too.
— just after a few weeks of knowing you, wallace fell head over heels. and he had it bad.
• of course, he tried to suppress his feelings and tried his damn best to not make it obvious. so, what did our dear wallace do to ensure that? he started to ignore you, partially at least, and became awkward. like…scott pilgrim-level awkward. it’s weird since wallace has always been known to be the complete opposite of his ex-roommate. he’s very easy going, calm, and the voice of reason to many.
• he’s a flirt too. so, why are you having this effect on him? he just couldn’t understand why he suddenly became a bumbling idiot.
• you were worried that you did something to push wallace away, but all your questions were answered when you returned one night to find that he left a drunken message in your answering machine.
— “hey, you know, hic, i've been thinkin', like, a lot. (long pause) and, um, i just wanna say, you're, like, really somethin' special, ya know? (slight slur) i feel all mushy and stuff, but yeah, i kinda, sorta...love you, maybe? (awkward pause) yeah, that's it. hic”
#scott pilgrim#scott pilgram takes off#scott pilgram vs the world#scott pilgram fanart#scott pilgrim vs the world imagines#wallace wells#wallace wells x reader#wallace wells imagine#wallace wells hcs#seven evil exes#ramona flowers#kieran culkin#lucas lee#envy adams#gideon gordon graves#knives chau#kim pine#todd ingram#roxy richter#matthew patel#gn reader#gender neutral y/n#gender neutral reader#gender neutral mc#gender neutral fanfic#wallace wells x y/n#he’s my favorite#canon x reader#canon x y/n#canon character imagine
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Can you write a Fiona Gallagher x fem reader of any kind could be about anything
latch - f.g.
a/n: hi! i'm so excited i got a fiona request i'm obsessed with her 😭 i came up with this little idea while i was listening to the song latch by disclosure which i think fits fiona's vibe pretty well? anyway i hope you like this :) its short and unedited but yolo!!!
warnings: alcohol mention, suggestive content, seckshual tension bc of course 😗
the music is blasting so loud that y/n can feel each beat reverberating through her head.
chicago is new to her, having just moved from a small town with her best friend who had always wanted more adventure.
and, of course, adventure involves going out to clubs and bars.
sure, y/n enjoyed spending time with her best friend and being social. but admittedly loud clubs weren't exactly her scene.
regardless, she sits at one of the tables, her best friend beside her.
"come on, let's dance!"
before y/n can respond, her best friend has disappeared into the crowd.
keeping an eye on her, y/n doesn't follow, taking a sip of her drink and continuing to people-watch.
there are several waitresses walking with trays of drinks, delivering both fancy cocktails and bottles of cheap beer to awaiting customers.
they pass her by, seeing that she has a mostly full drink in front of her.
that is, until, a brunette with dark eyeshadow approaches her, empty tray in hand.
"hey gorgeous, can i grab you something?"
y/n is almost speechless, completely in awe of the woman standing in front of her. she knew she would be able to explore her sexuality in chicago more than she did back at home, but she didn't expect to fall in love at first sight.
"i think i'm okay for now. i'm kinda babysitting this drink. thank you though."
the woman smiles, making y/n feel weak in the knees.
"just wave me down if you need another drink. my name is fiona, in case you need my attention."
and then she winks, and y/n swears she almost loses consciousness.
finally standing up to find her best friend, leaving her finished drink behind, y/n makes her way into the crowd.
she finds herself gently moving with the music, finally linking arms with her best friend to dance.
"i'm gonna go get us some more drinks," y/n proposes, watching her best friend continue dancing.
she simply nods, and y/n makes her way to the bar, only running into fiona refilling her tray.
"hey beautiful, whatcha doing up here? i would have brought you a drink."
"oh, i, uh..."
"don't get nervous, honey. i'm just playing around with you. what can i get for you?"
"oh, nothing for me. just a vodka soda for my friend, please."
"i got you, babe. but my shift ends in a few. wanna dance?"
y/n can't respond in any other way but nodding.
"here's a vodka soda for your friend. meet me on the dance floor in a few," fiona replies, gently touching y/n's shoulder.
"you're not gonna believe this. that hot waitress has been flirting with me," y/n looks at her best friend, still in disbelief that she had gotten so lucky.
"damn, y/n. you better bring her back to the apartment later," her best friend teases, tipsy from the night's events.
"she asked me to dance, i guess we'll see how that goes."
fiona starts walking toward y/n, trying to move through the crowd without distraction.
"i just realized i never got your name. i was just too distracted by how hot you are."
y/n is almost frozen in time hearing the woman call her hot.
"y/n. i'm still pretty new to the area but you are definitely the prettiest girl i've seen."
y/n and fiona quickly fall into stride together, moving to the music against each other. it's almost ethereal, the way the rest of the crowd fades away and they feel like the only two people in the room.
fiona comes behind y/n, resting her head on her shoulder so she can whisper in her ear.
"you're a pretty good dancer, y/n."
y/n moves her face almost too close to fiona's, their lips just barely missing each other.
"let's get out of here."
#fiona gallagher#fiona gallagher x reader#shameless x reader#shameless#fiona gallagher x fem reader#fiona gallagher drabble
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୨୧ On Purpose Karma x (fem) Reader || Chapter: 04 ୨୧
Prev || 04 Oblivious || Next
— Since the entire student council was present and the library was notably crowded with students who had signed up for the lecture, [Name] entered the library on her own.
She felt guilty, having to ditch her plans with Karma after an unresolved argument they decided to brush over. To make matters worse, she has to sit through a two-hour session and watch Ren shamelessly flirt with every girl in the room. On the brighter side, this ordeal counted towards her volunteer hours.
"You're late. You missed my introductory speech."
"My fault, I'll make up for it by working extra hard!"
She mentally thanked Karma for convincing her take the longer route, saying, "It's not a big deal if you're 10 minutes late... or 30." It was impressive how Gakushuu's speeches managed to put her to sleep every time, missing it was a win in her book.
Koyama called him over, something about a broken printer and an angry librarian.
...aaand she was all alone again. [Name] decided to go check on the group at the back table.
"Oh, [Name] made it—she can help us!" The first year, Chisa blissfully smiled.
"But I wanted Asano to help. [Name] could you please ask him to?" Chisa's friend insisted, clearly not as enthusiastic about the anyone-whose-not- Asano's arrival.
[Name] tried not to let it bother her, being the only girl in the student council came with a lot of pressure.
She’s just as helpful and capable as the rest of the group but no one seems to acknowledge it. Everyone calls them the “Big Five” even though there’s technically six of them as her scores tie with Seo.
"He's busy with Koyama, but maybe later."
The girl groaned and sulked laying her head on the table. Chisa looked apologetic for her friends dramatics. [Name] offered them a polite smile and said, "Let's get through your assignments then."
After half an hour of helping the girls turn in missing work, [Name] decided to take a short break. She left for an empty table in the very corner of the room, the short break turned into a long one when she got distracted texting Karma.
‧₊˚ Message Log ‧₊˚
[Name]: can we talk? im super bored!!
Karma: Whose fault is that?
Karma: should have ditched to be with me the whooleee day
[Name]: ugghhh don't. Can you believe I still have another hour of this
[Name]: anyway what are you doing?
Karma: I bumped into Nagisa on my way back from the library
Karma: now were at Maehara's house with Rio and Fuwa.
[Name]: Rio?? That one beautiful, smart, sweet, blonde girl in your class?
Karma: Sounds like you like her alot.
[Name]: She makes me nervous
Karma: Hey that's how you used to talk about me before we went out
[Name]: I can hear the disappointment through the text lmaoo
‧₊˚ Message End ‧₊˚
"You haven't even been here for an hour and you’re already slacking off on your phone?"
"Gakushuu! Geez you came out of nowhere." [Name] shut her phone off and patted the seat next to her.
To her surprise he slumped down next to her instead of insulting her and walking off, like he usually does.
"Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm exhausted to say the least. This was a stupid idea no one is making progress, well no one but Ren, he managed to pick up quite a few desperate ones today."
"That's not completely true, I helped Chisa and her friend turn their C's to A's. As much as I hate being here it's not useless. Useless was the Bakesale we tried last year where the cupcakes we sold tasted like horse crap. It was funny watching people pretend to love them and hold back the throw up because they came from you."
"Could of stopped at the first half, but thanks, I think. My father said I wasn't being organized enough, that this would be a failure on my half and an embarrassment on his."
"That's a little harsh, you're doing your best and you've done more than anyone else in the council. Ren's been giving out his number more than he's been lecturing, Seo has been in the bathroom for 20 minutes, Teppei has been stuck on the same group this entire time and to be honest Koyama is hard to look at. Im pretty sure I saw the girl he was teaching closing her eyes while he was talking."
The corners of his mouth twitched upwards.
"You're right I'll go yell at them in a few. It's not a big deal though, My father has said much worse."
"To be fair, I haven't exactly kept my promise either. Hard work turned into hiding in a corner to text my b- actually I should get back to work, actions speak louder than words!" [Name] stood up to leave. Asano grabbed her sleeve, it was impulsive and the immediateness of it made it all the more awkward."
"Uh, Asano? Is there something you still need?" She crinkled her eyebrows.
His cheeks became somewhat pink, [Name] thought he couldn’t have been blushing, maybe it was allergies.
“No, just don't get distracted on your phone again."
"Yeah Ive got it!" She waved him off and went back to work,
Gakushuu sat there slightly conflicted with his thoughts and his feelings, He faulted the all nighter he pulled last night, sleep deprivation does negatively impact mind clarity. He decided he should get back to work too.
Meanwhile ☆ ༄
"Let me get this straight, instead of asking me like normal people the class collectively decided to stalk [Name] and I?"
"Pretty much... but I was against it the entire time!" Nagisa replied sheepishly, to his surprise Karma's response was a relaxed nod.
"You're acting weirdly cool about this."
It sent a shiver down his spine, in a weird way Karma was scarier when he didn't react. Not knowing what he's thinking was an uncomfortable feeling.
"It's not a big deal- unless you guys tell people, that's when things will leak."
Fuwa's voice highers a few octaves in concern "What things?!"
"Telling you would ruin the surprise wouldn’t it?”
Maehara, reckless as always chimes in “I wanted to go and see [Name] but I couldn't. We were almost a thing before you stole her ya know?"
Nagisa, being the good friend he is, rushes in to save him "That's not it at all! Isogai told us she rejected him a bunch of times since he's a womanizer!"
"I'm not a womanizer, I'm smooth."
"Smooth is the surface of the floor you'll be on when I knock your sorry ass out."
Maehara quickly moves behind Rio who changes the subject with a flood of questions;
"How long have you been dating? Why would anyone go out with you? Did you scare her into saying yes?"
"I’ll tell you if you buy me soba. Better question is: Why wouldn't someone go out with me? I’m tall, handsome, smart, charismatic… and I have a sick spice collection.”
“Im also all of those things.” Maehara jokes, cautiously this time, using Rio as a human shield.
#AkabaneOnPurpose#karma akabane#karma x reader#assassination classroom x reader#ansatsu kyoushitsu#karma akabane x reader#akabane karma x reader#anzulvr#akabane karma#akabane x reader#karma akabane x you#reader x karma#assassination classroom
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Hello love! I’ve been having thoughts of Dream and Hob exploring their sexualities in… potentially unhealthy ways. I don’t think I’ll ever write it, so I’m tossing my scattered thoughts your way in the hopes you’ll be inspired, or perhaps someone else will be ;)
I was listening to “One of Your Girls” by Troye Sivan and was smacked in the head with the concept of young Dream going to a club and meeting Hob– who’s a very straight man, for the first time.
Hob is very much Dream’s type: warm and soft, an easy smile, strong yet kind, but something devious in his eyes. Especially with the way he’s been eyeing Dream from across the room. Dream saunters over to him and turns on the charm. He’s openly flirting, lightly touching Hob’s arm, complimenting how handsome he is, all to Hob laughing and blushing and acting almost… shy? Finally Hob, while not outright pushing Dream away, reveals to him that he’s flattered, but not interested in men.
Undeterred, Dream hums casually, taking a long swallow from his drink (making sure Hob watches), and leans fully into his space to speak sweetly in his ear.
“Are you sure?”
And when Hob turns his head to meet Dream’s gaze dead on, they are close enough to feel one another’s breath on their lips. Close enough that Dream can taste Hob’s anxiety mingled with excitement as his lips part and his eyes flick down briefly to Dream’s mouth and back.
Dream’s eyes flutter shut as Hob’s hand cups the side of his face, fingers soft under his jawline, and slowly leans in for a kiss that is so soft, so god damn careful, it nearly makes Dream shake.
Because, underneath his cool and confident facade, Dream is insecure. He’s young and is desperate to be loved. Hob isn’t the first straight man he’s fooled around with. Dream has always told men, and himself, that it was okay. That his body could be a safe space for them to explore their curiosities… even if it did leave him feeling strangely empty afterwards. The thrill of being the reason a straight man was questioning himself wore off pretty fast when they didn’t stay the night, didn’t call him back, or even indulge in a kiss.
But the first thing Hob does is kiss him. Slow, gentle, with his hands holding Dream’s face like he’s something precious and it shatters something in Dream. He almost whimpers as Hob pulls back, thumbs caressing his sharp cheekbones.
It was just a chaste thing, lips only, but Dream instantly wants more.
“Did you like that?” Dream asks, already dying to go back for more.
But Hob pauses, seeming to really consider it.
“I’m not sure. That was my first time kissing a man.”
So from here… we could go two directions:
Hob has his bi-awakening. Dream shows him everything he’s been missing. It’s sweet and they fall in love afterwards.
Or, my personal preference, angst.
Hob continues to be unsure. Dream and him spend more time together, but it’s more as friends. Dream lays off trying to get him into his bed, but it’s still very obvious he’s into him. Like, really obvious (lots of staring, “casual” touches, more experimental kissing that as they indulge in more and more, Hob breaks away with a loud gasp or frustrated sound because he’ll get his hands on Dream and feel his flat chest, the stubble on his face, or Dream’s low growl and shake his head “This isn’t working…”).
And finally Dream kind of breaks down and is like, “I could be a girl for you.” and dresses up in drag. He makes a very convincing woman and it’s almost embarrassing how into it Hob is, finally getting a proper erection the moment Dream walks into the room, high heels, makeup, wig, tucked and wearing fake breasts. He sucks Hob off before blindfolding him while Dream crawls up his lap and impales himself on Hob’s cock.
It gets messy from there. Dream developing feelings and Hob feeling even more confused about his sexuality than before. It’s like Dream, his friend, is a completely different person than the Dream that presents himself as feminine.
Maybe Hob grew up conservative and he’s still fighting back old repressed morals/values. Maybe he has internalized homophobia.
As you can see, my mind is everywhere. Not sure where to take it, and I don’t think I have the confidence to properly tackle this brainworm. So. here ya go *upends box all over the place and runs away*
First of all hello my love!! So great to see you here!!! And second of all, one of your girls is such a banger. I just have share my favourite line with you all: You should insure that waist / With the highest policy you can get
Iconic.
Anyway, this ask hurt my feelings so much but I LOVE IT. Repressed queer Hob is so interesting to me because it feels quite close to canon? As a character Hob is quite conservative/goes with the times. I think he's right about himself, he does have to make a big effort to change! Which is not a bad thing! But can be painful, I guess.
It definitely makes everything more complicated because Dream seems to be two different people. He's still Hob’s friend, his buddy, someone he trusts and respects. But he's also... someone else. A pretty thing in drag who knows exactly how Hob likes to be sucked off and who Hob fantasies about when he jerks off. It's not really Dream he's thinking of, but it kind of is? Those are Dream’s thighs wrapped around his waist, those are Dream’s lips, his tongue, his pert little arse.
Hob feels like a horrible person and like he should stop the whole thing, but every time he tries, Dream pouts his pink glossy lips and slides his freshly shaved thigh between Hob’s legs to rub against his cock. And Hob thinks well, one more time won't hurt. And the cycle continues.
Dream feels utterly destroyed by the fact that he just isn't enough for Hob. Because Hob is so nice to him! He never laughs at Dream, he's a proper friend to him, and a good lover too. It would be such a perfect relationship. But Hob never gets hard when they're curled up on the couch together in the daytime. They still try kissing sometimes, but Hob sometimes pulls away with his look on his face that just cuts Dream to his core.
So he keeps dressing up. Being Hob’s pretty little girl isn’t so bad. Hob is worth it. He's nothing like the other straight men who've tossed Dream away after one night of curiosity. And he really, genuinely isn't! He loves Dream, its just that the love is weighed down by all the stuff inside Hob’s head that tells him that he can't. He can't be gay. Not even for Dream. He can't open that door because he's fucking terrified of what's behind it.
I'm a sucker for an eventual resolution so I propose this: Hob finally does the right thing and breaks off the pseudo-relationship with Dream. He requests time apart and Dream is devastated, but resigned. Hob will move on and find himself a proper woman, he supposes. But Hob does not! He goes to therapy!
It's nearly a year until Hob shows up at Dream’s place. He apologies for everything that happened before - he was old enough to know better. Being fucked up by other people isn't an excuse to do fucked up shit. And he would like a chance to try again with Dream, but he doesn't expect or feel entitled to anything. It's not up to Dream to fix him.
Dream tries to take time to think it over, but the answer was always going to be yes. He's done some growing up in the last year, and he knows what he deserves: a loving, dedicated and respectful partner. He knows that Hob can be all of that. No more pretending and hiding. They're going to make it work.
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HLC ROMANCE — WHAT WE DESERVED
Sebastian Sallow — Head Empty, Thoughts
Hello, my fine friends. I had a thought and I desperately wish to relay it. SIMPLY because — adding romance into this game, would have been so freaking easy and I am mad. So here it is, my interpretation of Hogwarts Legacy if they had the BALLS to add romance. I have a great stand on this, because my two favourite games in the world are Dragon Age and Mass Effect and BOY DO THEY UNDERSTAND ROMANCE. ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)
So let us begin at the very beginning:
If you decide to be in Slytherin, you meet Sebastian in the Common Room. Already he shows clear indication that he is interested in you, albeit, because of your entrance into Hogwarts. Surviving a Dragon? Hello? Points already. If not, you meet him in DADA (officially), if you decide to do Charms first, well no interactions — apart from glances and amusement. WITH THIS: I will go from the DADA stand point, it's already pretty perfect. Sets up Sebastian, at first glance as a cocky, flirty guy. Easy. Having added conversational dialogue here, to tease him or flirt back, would have been easy to add. Such as: teasing his title of being a great duellist etc.
Now you have Hogsmeade. You choose Sebastian, obviously. Now I also believe this was pretty well done — it terms of setting up a friendship and more with Sebastian. HOWEVER, needed more. This is where we needed to see more from the cutscenes, the moment with the troll, flirty banter, PERFECT MOMENT FOR SEBASTIAN TO FLIRT HIS BUTT OFF. "So, you're not just a pretty face." Then with the Three Broomsticks and with Rookwood, it's already pretty good, I wish that the little moments of him looking at you were more obvious. He could have said more, which is the whole point of this post, SEBASTIAN COULD HAVE EASILY SAID MORE.
Pause of the quests to bring up gifts. It has been shown, that it was coded to have been a thing. SAD, that they got rid of it. This is a big thing in Dragon Age, especially in Origins. I think this would have been such a fun thing to do, to have, not only raise friendships — thus making friendships seem more real, rather than just, "hey we are besties now." Example: for Sebastian, it could be gifts you find on your journeys around the outskirts of Hogwarts. Books being a main factor, especially those that you find in Ashwinder camps.
Normal books: x10 romance points
Curse books: x30 romance points
Other small things could be used too. I also think shrivel figs could be something you could often give him, to slightly gain points. It being important to his quest with Anne.
Restricted Section. Hello, I hated how this couldn't have been more flirty LMAO. But I do think it did enough. Especially the ending, with him taking the fall for you. I would have loved to see more moments of him supporting you. Say a cutscene when you enter the restricted section and he holds you back from walking around the corner, before a ghost appears. Other than more flirty dialogue, this quest was pretty good. I still think that although Sebastian is flirty, it's not like he's head over heels for you....yet.
Undercroft, was also good, but like everything it could have been better. I like the idea of him telling you and risking Ominis being pissed, but I think it would have been better IF Ominis caught you both inside. More intense and fun. Before that, I think flirty dialogue could have fitted in so easily here, Sebastian complimenting your quick ability to learn spells, etc. He could also step in and take the heat for you from Ominis.
Meeting the family. Already a big step for a stranger, thus the gifting thing could have really come into play. Perhaps, you couldn't get this until he had a high enough romance level, would also make it seem more "real." This would have been a great place to add more dialogue to support Sebastian, if you wished. Stepping in or not being a complete observer. I understand it's the first time meeting his family, but I think being able to at least step in, would add points to Sebastian's romance. Talking to Anne also, getting insight on Sebastian, bringing it up later in other moments.
Scriptorium. HELLO, this whole quest screamed perfect opportunity for flirty banter. It had some and did well enough, but I would have loved to see more, seeing as at the point, your romance should have improved, point wise. More dialogue. When it's time to curse you, MORE EMOTION. This would have been interesting, if you could manage to get enough relationship points, I like the idea of making it a thing, that you could miss. If you have enough points, he would be more worried, support you to your feet, check you over. If you didn't, it would be like it is now in the game. The ending would be interesting too, if you had the points and maybe he could say something to you, or hug you.
Relic moment. Now I would love to say that having enough romance points would support this not happening, but it needed to happen for the plot, so we shall keep it. I would like to think the lead up to this was already pretty neat, flirty and such. BUT, we needed more, like literally everything else LMAO. When you get to the relic, I'd like to believe, with enough relationship points, you could make him hesitate, and although he takes it. HE, hesitated, meaning he considered what you thought. Being able to get Ominis to let you leave without using a spell, would give you huge relationship points. THIS I THINK WOULD HAVE BEEN NEAT, if you had to make sure at this point, Ominis and your relationship points were high enough, if not....RIP, and you lose points with Sebastian.
The Mine. RIP. I think it was pretty good. Should have been more intense, especially if your relationship was huge by this point. More relationship style dialogue. Making the moment he calls you ignorant, hurt more.
A BETTER APOLOGY BITCH WTF. I think the way he apologised was dumb, I hated it LMAO. If your relationship points were high enough, I think he should have apologised to you in person and more nicer than he did. BUT I do like the angsty, the relic is affecting him thing. The mountain quest was pretty neat, I like that he was a grumpy boy. This could have worked better with romance dialogue, and showing that you were hurt.
Solomon LOL. This would have been SO GREAT IF YOU COULD HAVE ROMANCE POINTS BECAUSE WHAT IF YOU COULD STOP HIM BEFORE IT ALL. Like look, I get killing Solomon, I get that it had to happen. But I like the idea of having romance points high enough to change people minds. In Dragon Age, if you have high enough points you can persuade people, THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THIS GAME UGH. I would have loved to be able to see Sebastian first and persuading him against this. THUS, not killing anyone and Sebastian not becoming a killer.
THE ENDING BITCH: Regardless of everything, when you meet Sebastian in the Undercroft, IT WAS THE PERFECT MOMENT AND OPPORTUNITY FOR A KISS OR HUG MOMENT. LIKE IT WAS THERE, I WAS WAITING FOR IT LMAO. SHOULD HAVE BEEN ADDED.
Bonus: A winter ball scene for shits and gigs, if you had enough romance points, you could ask him. If not he goes with someone else. RIP LMAO.
Alright my guys, this was random and I might have missed stuff, but overall, WE NEEDED ROMANCE AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY.
#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#hogwarts#sebastian x reader#sebastian sallow x you#sebastian sallow x y/n#sebastian sallow x slytherin!reader#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x reader#hogwarts legacy sebastian#hogwarts legacy headcanons
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