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pearlywritings · 9 months

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In father’s embrace

synopsis: HSR men as dads and what your family dynamic is like.

pairings: Blade, Gepard, Loucha, Sampo, Jing Yuan x fem!reader (separately)

tw: fluff, established relationship, implied initial mortal x immortal in Blade’s

word count: 5.2k words

a/n: Luofu Xianzhou timeline is hell, so Blade’s one is quite vague. Here’s the Genshin version!

Blade

Blade tends to say that he has no connection to his past, but that is not true and very few (mostly Kafka) know he is lying. Even with his life and death fucked up he can't simply let go of someone his heart has been always full with, of someone who he promised himself to by the altar, even if under another name, of someone, who gifted him the joy of both his previous and current life - your daughter.

The blade - a cold weapon with no feelings - should not experience being lucky, but that’s what he was, when you clutched him in your arms the first time after his return from the dead and sobbed in his chest, telling him how much you missed him, how much his little angel missed him.

Back then he should've left without a trace, maybe even coming to you in the first place was a mistake, but he just couldn't. And his resolve crumbled completely when a white-haired toddler in your arms gazed at him with the same soft eyes as yours and reached out to his face, hesitantly asking "dada?".

As much as Blade is capable - he loves you and your daughter. He is quite absent due to his involvement with the Stellaron Hunters, but you understand how important that magenta-haired woman's ability is when it comes to restraining the mara in his body. After all that's the reason why he can visit without fear of hurting you or his little girl.

Some other sacrifices had to be made - one of them was moving from the Lofu Xianzhou, but that was alright and your daughter loved her new environment. Besides, dada has been visiting more often ever since you moved! And no one really bothered or chased after you (after all, you are still registered as his wife and higher ups of Lofu know), which, you assumed, was somehow connected with a young girl that once came with Blade.

Kafka once brought up a proposition of moving you two to the Stellaron Hunters' base for Blade's easier access, but he declined. At least his loved ones should have a peaceful everyday life.

With a tired sigh the black-haired man lowers himself on a sofa in the living room of the house you two purchased to start a seemingly new life. The red-hot iron in his eyes disappears behind the heavy eyelids and for a moment Blade allows himself to relax. The little wonder, that is his daughter, ran to your bedroom to fetch some hair accessories, after you encouraged your husband to let her style his long locks.

He doesn’t move when you sit next to him, hip to hip and heart to heart. He welcomes your sneaking fingers, curling his, creating a secure lock of hands. The weight of your head resting on his shoulder is grounding and he can’t help but press his cheek against it.

It’s soothingly silent.

It almost reminds him of the past.

“For how long will you be staying this time?

Even your question, spoken in a tender, understanding voice, is familiar. You used to ask him the same thing in-between his Cloud Quintet-related missions.

These days it’s difficult to sneak and see you during breaks though.

“Fifteen days,” his breath is even, and eyes are still shut, but he senses a smile that tugs on the corners of your lips.

“That’s a lot. She will be so happy,” and he knows that you are as well.

The rapid stomping of little feet bursts into your peaceful serenity, and you simultaneously glance at the doorway. Low and behold - the soon-to-be hair stylist is proudly running into the room, tightly clutching your jewelry box with various hair pins inside.

“Dad, I practiced! Mom says I’ve been making huuuuuuge progress!”

A tiny smile touches his pale lips - it’s such a miracle that a monster like him is blessed to have the most adorable child in the whole universe. With her and you by his side, this life gets more and more bearable.

“If mom says you’ve been, then it must be the truth,” he nods, letting go of your hand - but not before giving it a little affectionate stroke with his thumb, - sliding down and onto the floor, turning his back to the girl.

Giggling excitedly, she gives you the box, which you quickly unlock, and starts looking through the many intricate pieces of jewelry (many are your beloved’s presents), until finding the perfect one.

Having his hair being touched is weird. He was aware that the white luscious locks used to draw attention, but only you were honored to run your fingers through them, and only his baby was allowed to tug on them, making her father wince. Now it’s different - she is oh so careful, brushing, collecting stray locks and braiding, not once causing him pain.

Blade sighs again, but looks at you from the corner of his eye, catching you snickering in your palm upon gazing at something that your daughter is turning his hair into. Well, that’s concerning.

But at this very moment he can’t bring himself to care. If he gets fifteen whole days before his next mission, he is going to savor this time with his family - no matter how disastrous he’s going to look by the end of it.

Gepard

A family man. So no one was surprised when in the end the leader of the Silvermane Guards ended up with three kids - two sons and a daughter. Partly it was dictated by the rules of nobles and his family among them, but ultimately it was your mutual sincere decision.

It’s obvious he is not there for many of his kids’ first times, as sometimes his duties prevail and even the Supreme Guardian cannot help it, but he really-really tries to be there as much as possible. He appreciates the videos you send him, has every single one stored in his phone’s memory and sometimes, when there is no communication, in his spare moment he replays them to remind himself that soon he’ll return home and see his kids and you.

Only one time he really fucked up because of work - during your first pregnancy you both underestimated the soon arrival of your due date and he left on a mission with his troops, reassured that he’ll be back before the day you go into labor. The snowstorm was severe and the connection was cut, so the message Serval sent him when your water broke was not delivered. His soldiers would bring to their graves the image of a deathly pale Gepard, when many hours later he checked his phone back at the base and nearly broke the screen, trying to type his sister’s number.

After that he started taking paternity leave seriously.

You do not keep in touch with his parents a lot - there were instances where they disapproved of you, but all of his siblings are always welcomed in your house and to see their nephews and niece, because they supported your relationship from the moment they met you in flesh.

Serval is an enormous help when it comes to babysitting. It’s like her part-time job honestly - you even offered to pay her, but she declined, suggesting offering her a helping hand whenever she’d need instead. Oh, and to be the first one out of all the Landau siblings (after her brother, of course) to know about the latest updates on your kids.

The kids that are adorable. All three won the ‘blue eyes’ lottery, which, given the previous generations of Landau, is not a big surprise; both boys look like Gepard, while the girl took more after you in appearance. The man really doesn’t want to play favorites, but sometimes he is just too weak for his little princess, who looks just like her mom. She is the youngest too with a pretty big age gap between her and her brothers, who were born a year apart, so there is literally no jealousy, because your sons took their father’s example and became her protectors.

Even from a 'big bad dragon' that is their aunt…

When you step inside your house and hear the kids still fussing somewhere in the rooms, involuntarily your gaze falls to the old grandfather’s clock in the foye. Almost midnight. All three should be long asleep with Serval sending you a notification of her success. Which you didn’t receive and for that reason had to cut your date short and hurry back home.

Your husband looks as concerned as you are, locking the door and straining his ears to determine what’s going on. With both your coats abandoned, you carefully step further into the house, making your way to the line of light coming from under one of the doors.

Two jaws almost kiss the floor when you see Serval lying on the floor tied and gagged with a scarf. Alone. For a moment you fear the worst.

Rushing inside, you let Gepard search the other rooms for intruders. Helping your sister-in-law to sit is no problem, but the knot behind her head is awfully tightened. In the end you manage to yank it down to free her mouth, quickly switching to the rope constricting her hands.

“Y/n, oh my god,” she gasps, finally able to speak. “Who taught your sons to tie knots like this!? I didn’t know a sixteen- and fifteen-year olds can be so strong-”

“Come again?” Stunned, you stop untying her wrists, looking at the woman with widened eyes. Your boys did what?

“My precious nephews - whom I really do not want to strangle - took the game of knights too seriously, and when - maybe a half an hour ago? - I decided to play the dragon who was stealing the princess - my niece of three years, - they attacked and tied me!”

“Huh…” is all you can say, feeling relief wash over you. At least there are no burglars or kidnappers and your kids are safe.

When, listening Serval’s huffs of complaints, you move to untie her legs, the heavy steps of your husband are heard in the hallway, accompanied by the boys whining and begging their dad not to come to the living room, because the dragon would eat their sister.

His tall figure appears in the doorway, with your daughter in his arms, looking very sleepy, and two almost carbon copies of their dad pulling at his jacket to give them their sister back.

“Serval, what in blazes have you told them?” The judging tone and the squint of his blue eyes are directed at his elder sibling.

“It was just a game, Geppie! A silly game they turned into reality.”

“Aunt said she’d eat her,” your oldest pouts, eyeing her cautiously. “And she told us stories about the cannibals the other night-”

“Serval, you what?”

“Hey, they asked me to! Oh, thanks, Y/n,” she shrugs the loosened rope off of her. “Where did you even get this?”

“Aunt Lynx gave us,” the second son chirps, hugging Gepard’s side. “She showed us how to do knots.”

“This little-”

Suddenly you feel a headache coming. With big family come big challenges, but something of this caliber hasn’t happened in a while. It makes you smile though - you almost forgot what it was like - to raise two boys. Seems like your girl brings the borderline naughtiest out of them.

Loucha

To begin with it's worth mentioning that your and Loucha's marriage started as an unpredictable necessity. You both needed to enter the world that allowed only married foreigners' access. So, quickly figuring that your goal matches, you got married on a neighboring planet, spent a month there to make the marriage more believable in the sense of its duration and learning more about each other. Yeah, all of that just to fulfill your respectful jobs. You invented and rehearsed all the possible answers to the questions, perfected your affectionate act and were actually feeling quite comfortable around each other.

It was almost funny, when on the 'how many kids do you plan to have?' Loucha confidently answered 'two', and a couple of years later your first son was born, and then, after 7 more years, another one was too.

Admittedly, the oldest one was kind of unplanned, but at that point you traveled so much together, shared so many memories, even ended up caring for each other on a lover-like level, that you decided to give it a shot, just like you did with the continuation of your marriage.

And Loucha couldn't be more pleased. Surprisingly, he found the peace of those first years he spent settled down to raise your boy delightful. And there was something exciting about having a little wonder with a perfect mix of both of your features in your arms, as your husband's hand is resting on the small of your back, leading you through the crowds of the new planet's lively market, as the child's eyes shine with marvel, taking in his surroundings.

When Loucha suggested having another one it simply felt right.

Your sons are so lucky in the sense of seeing the universe, because their father is a traveling merchant. Sure, he doesn't always take you and your two boys with him, but whenever his deal allows him enough freedom and your kids are doing great in school and can be taken on a little vacation - you three are going with him.

Usually he gets to take care of the youngest one, since only Loucha's vast knowledge can satisfy his curiosity, while the oldest one calmly walks hand in hand with you, content with listening to their conversation and pointing out to you the things he already knows himself, receiving a soft praise from you and an approving nod from his father.

Back home the roles reverse - the oldest is spending most of his time with Loucha to learn all about medicine and healing techniques, while the youngest is more interested in sharing your hobbies.

The two hardly ever quarrel as siblings tend to do, and it must be because of the overall serene atmosphere of your family dynamic, your soft nature and your husband's tranquil behavior.

More than a decade ago Loucha wouldn't have imagined himself with a wife and kids. Nowadays, however, he doesn't like the thought of not having the three of you by his side.

It is a quiet afternoon. A little house you rented for a little vacation has a nice yard - perfect for the kids to have fun outside. You occasionally glance at them from the window of the kitchen to make sure everything is fine, while your hands never stop moving - washing, cutting, stirring.

At some point you are so caught in the moment of tranquility, that you do not hear your husband walking in, until he softly hums to alert you of his presence, and puts his palms on your waist.

“Smells delicious,” you smile, feeling his chin on your shoulder, and grab a piece of a tangerine you are meaning to use for dessert, offering it to him.

“Mhm, I am trying to cook what we had yesterday at that restaurant.”

Ah, right, the restaurant the kids enjoyed. He remembers how you sneaked to the kitchen and came back with a little less credits, but with new recipes and an excited smile on your face.

“Hopefully my rendition will be to our boys’ liking. And don’t think I forgot about you - those Loufu Xianzhou-style noodles are already on their way!”

“So thoughtful of you, darling,” his silky voice caresses your ear and not a second later a kiss is pressed to your cheek. “Do you need any help?”

“Weren’t you busy?” You decide to clarify, clearly recounting how he locked himself in one of the rooms earlier that day to test something. To your question Loucha shakes his head.

“All done already. And I missed you and the kids.”

“Then go and play with them,” you urge, turning to face him to offer a sweet smile. “I’ll handle it here, but the boys could use some quality time with their father.”

“You say that as if they didn’t drag us all around the city yesterday and then climb into our bed and refuse to leave.”

“I mean, it’s the first time in two months they properly see you. That last deal of yours was exceptionally time-consuming.”

“You kept me updated on them so well and those video calls we had… it didn’t even feel like I ever left.”

You only huff and return your gaze to the stove, yet leaning into his chest a little. For a minute it’s quiet, and the man is taking his time before parting from you. That is until he takes a deep inhale and nuzzles his face in your neck.

“Thank you, Y/n.”

“What for, handsome?” There is that teasing lilt in your voice he came to love. Over the course of your lives together he discovered many things to love you for, and if not for that desperate decision to get married - he thinks he’d hardly ever feel the same about his life.

“For everything.”

He leaves your side with a kiss on your shoulder and the next time you glance out of the window again - he is already there, hoisting his youngest in one arm and chasing after the oldest one with his hair swaying in the gentle wind. And your heart is at peace.

Sampo

In all his life Sampo has managed to never impregnate a single woman and he considers that a success. For all the crap people speak about him Sampo is not an idiot, even though he acts like a fool at times. He is extremely self-aware and bringing a child to this world is probably the last thing on his list.

But no one said anything about someone else’s child, right?

Your and Sampo’s relationship is… strange, not going to lie. One evening you happened to help a scared woman to escape from some drunkards (whom you lately found out were the Silvermane Guards, sober and on duty), only for the long wig to slip and the heavy coat to slide down, revealing shortly cut but nicely styled hair and obviously male broad shoulders. The only thing the man managed to get out was a sheepish “hehe”.

And boy did that “hehe” change your life.

That day Sampo Koski got off the hook, since you didn’t comment anyhow and just let him go, which, given you were an overworlder, he found intriguing. So he dug a little bit, out of pure curiosity. Besides, this man didn't like staying in debt to someone and he needed information to see how he could pay you back.

That’s when he found out you were a single mother. An opera singer, but divorced and with full custody over a six-year old daughter.

And honestly, he didn’t give it much thought at first. He simply arranged a nice bouquet of red roses for you, paid Natasha a little for a handmade plushie and left it all at the door steps with a ‘thank you’ note.

Until a couple of weeks ago, disguised again, he didn’t stumble into a group of kids obviously bullying a little girl, mocking her for not having a father, and throwing something among themselves that she tried to catch. And he recognized the toy. And one glance was enough to see how much she looked like the woman he met only once. And against his better judgment Sampo walked to the children, easily snatching the toy and effectively scaring everyone off. Only with that little girl still being there, eyes full of unshed tears and fingers digging in the skirt of her pretty dress.

That tiny ‘thank you’ when he handed the plushie back to her and she hugged it tightly to her chest made the conman’s heart clench, and for the second time that day he sent his plans to hell, keeping her company near the house you lived in until you arrived from work.

That day he learned many things - how much your daughter loved the toy and what a sweet little thing she was, how tired a person can look and how much a throat can hurt from the whole day of singing during rehearsals, how nice a home-made dinner can be once you are invited, but most importantly - how even such a damned man like him can be gazed upon with gratitude and not from one, but two people.

From that day many other instances happened, but in the end he just stuck around. It was strange, it was new, but in a sense it was comforting, especially when you would come home - on Friday, for example, - and he’d be there, entertaining your daughter and then greeting you with a smile and a silly wave of his hand.

You don’t have a husband, and your daughter doesn’t have a father - but with his presence Sampo Koski manages to fill those voids even if a little bit.

Aeons you love days off. A morning to finally sleep in and do not run around like crazy in attempts to get yourself and your kid ready. Even breakfast wasn’t on you today, because the ‘silly man’ stayed the night and told you to get your sleep, assuring you with that confident puff of his chest that the Sampo Koski would offer you his best service, which effectively made you giggle.

Tonight he even cuddled with you, letting you bury your face in his neck and be a little vulnerable in the arms of a man with whom you had the most peculiar relationship ever. But after such equally peculiar moments you really start thinking of suggesting moving from the couch in the living room to your bedroom permanently. It’s been months already, who would’ve thought.

Barefoot and not even glancing at the robe on the chair near the window you leave the room, rubbing at your eyes and brushing your hair away from your face. You are craving the cup of your morning drink, and so you let your legs carry you to the kitchen at first. However two voices coming from your wardrobe room instantly peak your interest and make you halt in your walking. What on earth could your daughter and your clown of a man be doing there?

And soon enough you find it out.

“Sit still, please!” The girl begs with an eye shadow palette in one tiny hand and a huge brush in the other. “It’ll smudge if you keep turning to the mirror!”

“Just can’t wait to see how beautiful I am, princess, ‘s all~”

There, on the floor among the rows of your clothes and shelves with beauty products and accessories, none other than Sampo is sitting, willingly offering his face to your daughter’s practice of applying makeup. And gods he looks absolutely hilarious.

But that’s not what exactly concerns you.

“Is that my dress?” You point at the red shimmery thing snuggly sitting on the man in front of you and that’s when the two notice you.

“Yes, mommy!”

“Say I pulled it off, right?” With a smirk the green-eyed menace winks at you and it looks even worse with poorly done lashes. You have to stifle your laughter. “Though I must admit, we had to keep it unzipped - my chest appeared to be bigger than yours-”

And that’s when you regret not bringing slippers with you - one flying in his head would be of great help.

“Sometimes I really hate you.”

“Nuh, sweet thing, you love me!”

“Well,” you step closer, grabbing a tissue to try and fix at least the overly bright blush on his cheeks, “maybe. Maybe I actually do.”

Suddenly Sampo is tongue-tied and silent, trying very hard to fight off the stupid grin forcing its way onto his face. But with thoroughly smeared red lipstick on his mouth it looks so damn comical.

“Mom, do you think pa looks pretty?” Your daughter hopefully asks, putting aside her tools, and that little two-letter word doesn’t go unnoticed by either of you. You feel a real blush burning under your deft fingers.

“Yes, sweety, Pa-mpo looks very pretty,” his head whips in your direction like you’ve just told him to go and surrender to the Belobog’s esteemed order keepers.

“...Pa-mpo?”

“Would you prefer Da-mpo instead?” Cocking your head in question, you smirk at him, relishing in the pout he is wearing at the moment. “Or maybe Sam-pa?”

“No, thank you very much,” he huffs. “Little princess called me ‘pa’, so be nice and respect it.”

And now it is you who is surprised. You haven’t really discussed with Sampo who he was to your daughter, and who she was to him - but if he is making this step of acknowledging the matter, then who are you to spoil it? Who knows, maybe things will work out quite pleasantly in the end.

“Alright, pa, I will respect that.”

“Hey! For you I am your precious popo baby, a koskiss to your lips, the love of your-”

“Don’t even dream of it.”

Jing Yuan

Yanqing would be enough of an answer to the kid question, but it is not. Sure, his young disciple is practically a son to the General, but it doesn't mean the man doesn't want his own children.

He does and he has. On multiple occasions Jing Yuan's subordinates walked in on him with a small figure sitting in his lap or perched on his strong arm, observing what the dad's been up to with his plans and documents. You scolded your husband for this many times, but the bastard only smiles and keeps stealing his daughter to work to keep him company. Or she sneaks on her own - that caused you many almost heart attacks when she was no older than a couple of decades.

For Jing Yuan it’s all good though - he gets to spend time with his baby and have you inevitably join him in search for your adventurous child.

The General has a separate folder for all the pictures of his daughter on his phone - every single one he takes and every single one you send him when he couldn’t bring his girl to some of his meetings (yet he really tried, until you put your foot down and saved many of his subordinates from the prolonging of said meetings). Even the background, hidden from prying eyes behind the passcode of your and her birthdays, is his little one, cradled in your arms, as the two of you are watching kites flying in the sky.

Yanqing at first was set on treating her with the same respect he does his mentor and you, his wife, but you quickly put an end to it, basically turning the boy into her older brother. He didn’t mind at all - if anything he is sometimes way too eager to push the two of you to go on a date so he can babysit. Often you would return to the two fast asleep either on the girl’s bed or cuddled to Mimi with toys scattered and at least two books lying on the floor. The huge lion adores the girl - sometimes you feel like it thinks of her as its own cub, and the thick mane of hair your daughter got from her father does not help.

And it appeared to be as eager to steal your daughter from you as your husband is…

“Y/n!” You practically jump when the doors to your bedroom fly open and Jing Yuan bursts inside. Immediately you notice his disheveled state - hair down and a mess, the robe he wore this morning for comfortable work in his home office is falling off one of his shoulders and a shoe is missing from his foot.

“Aeons, Yuan, don’t scare me like that,” you put a comb down on your vanity table and fully turn to face him. “What happened?”

“Is our precious baby with you?” He steps further into the room and starts looking around frantically. Okay, now that got worrisome.

“No? You took her earlier this afternoon after lunch to play in your study while you work. Have you really forgotten that? My love, you are getting old.”

You hear clearly as he curses under his breath, raking thick fingers through his hair. The golden eyes look at you and in them you spot a flicker of anxiety.

“...Jing Yuan, don’t tell me that you managed to lose our daughter.”

“I didn’t, I swear,” he winces at the full name usage, watching you rise from your seat and quickly approach him. “She was right by my side, watching the animal videos on my phone, but then I got immersed in the latest reports from the Sky-Faring Commission and when I finished whose - she was gone!”

“Uh, want me to call your phone? Maybe she still has it.”

To that he puts a hand in the robe’s pocket and brings out his device. Oh god.

“It was lying on the floor, still playing videos.”

“Okay, deep breaths,” you are not sure if you are telling it to him or to yourself, but you too take an inhale, meanwhile busying your hands with adjusting his clothes. “Even buried in work you’d still notice if a human sneaked in, right?” He nods. “And you’d notice if she left - she would’ve warned you about that.” He nods again, lips pursed and eyes staring at one point. “Yanqing is not as skilled to come unannounced and take her, and he wouldn’t do it without your permission, so-”

“Wait,” his hand catches yours and realization flashes in his features. “Mimi came.”

“...Mimi?” Before you can ask him to elaborate, your husband turns around and rushes out of the bedroom. Concerned and a little bit intrigued, you quickly follow.

In one of the rooms of your huge house the two of you finally find the lion, and Jing Yuan almost drops on the floor in relief when his girl is spotted in the animal’s embrace.

“Is she…sleeping?” You ask, glancing from behind his broad back.

“It appears so. Hey, Mimi,” the maned head lifts, two ambers taking in your appearances and a pleased huff is let out through the nose upon recognition.

“Well, my dear,” you pat his shoulder, shaking your head, “it appears that people were right - like the owner, like the pet. Congratulations, your lion took your habit of stealing our daughter to heart. Good luck prying her from it.”

“You say it like it’s something hard to do,” there it is, a confident smile is back on his face as he strides closer to the animal, ready to bend down and get his girl. Only for that lift of the corners of his lips to be gone when Mimi growls at him in a warning and shields your daughter’s little body with its head.

You only smirk and leave the scene to go and get your phone - there is no way you are not filming your husband dealing with the consequences of his own behavior.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #blade x reader #blade x fem!reader #gepard x reader #gepard landau x reader #gepard x fem!reader #loucha x reader #loucha x fem!reader #sampo x reader #sampo koski x reader #sampo x fem!reader #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x fem!reader #honkai star rail fluff #hsr fluff

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nico-esoterica · 2 months

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Why Does Megan Thee Stallion LOVE Japan? An Astrological Analysis ❤️

I've seen two or three posts like this or more and it makes perfect sense because through Astrocartography, we can see that she's got her Jupiter line (while its at home in Sag btw) going STRAIGHT through the country itself sitting on top of her Ascendant. So, not only does she feel SUPER lucky but her energy feels EXPANSIVE and UNTHREATENED. Like, she actually feels SEEN AND APPRECIATED and she has 0 need to prove herself, fight for her life, or be anything she's not. She can focus on feeling the vibes and being happy and abundant. Jupiter can also be associated with 'foreign' things so it being in her first in her relocated chart for Japan (I used Tokyo bc JPN has one time zone) makes sense. It's taking a special interest in what's outside of your comfort zone.

Because she has a natal Jupiter-Saturn square between her 8H speaking to her 11H, it means that she's used to compromising her boundaries for other people's sake who want to benefit her. Like, her abundance seems to always come at the expense of others being in their feelings or that she has to sacrifice (Pisces) parts of herself around others. Like, she's always felt restricted in some way by her environment. Surrounded by people who never wanted to see her win because they felt threatened or intimidated by it. There's usually someone around her playing a victim. Her history's echoed this.

In Hollywood, her relocated chart elevates her in the public eye at a cost. With an Aries Rising, it puts her chart ruler under duress in her 5H across from her 11H--Meaning that she's popular but her artistry (5H) is weirdly hated and seen as polarizing. That Sun-Mars Opposition also feels rather violent tbh and we've ALSO seen her history with that. A Sun-Moon and Sun-Mars opposition between Leo and Aquarius with her 10th and 11th in Saturn ruled signs answering to a 12H Saturn reads to me like male figures/patriarchs or industry 'old heads' having an issue with her sexuality being so vibrant and liberating (5H) that they actively suppress and punish her (Saturn joys in the 12th in trad astro and equals isolation and Saturn can equal male figures in power). But even with Chiron in Virgo in her 6H trining her elevated 10H planets, including her Venus, it creates a story of constantly feeling burdened to prove herself to the point where she's taught that numbers and figures determine her self worth, making her ultimately doubt herself. That's exhausting!

But in Tokyo and Japan overall, that Chiron is placed ON her MC at 29 degrees (a fame degree in degree astro) and safely trines those Cap planets that have shifted to her 2H. This means that she literally not only makes money there for simply EXISTING exponentially but she feels more natural in her resourcefulness and sense of self value and worth here with the emphasis placed on the 2H opposed to feeling 'over exposed' by it being in the 10H in the other chart because it means that SHE determines how she's moving opposed to feeling the pressures of it being the other way around. Ultimately, the 2nd, 6th, and 10th are all houses we look to as money potential centers but an emphasis with planets in any of those houses is going to paint a different picture. 2H emphasis will feel more independent and the pressure will come from within, 6H will feel more like a cog in a wheel in trying to find its place but will be very successful at it but potentially overworked/overlooked, and 10H emphasis puts someone on the fast track to success but can become overburdened with always needing to prove or outdo its previous successes.

As someone who has so much Saturn in her (Aqua and Cap), she's used to working everything out on her own so the best thing for her, imo, is for her to be in an environment where people just leave her THE FUCK ALONE and let her do what she wants to do and how she wants to do it. The Sun and the Moon here are in the opposite houses of the houses they find joy in in trad astro (sun likes being in the 9th and moon likes being in the 3rd). From being someone (me) who has their moon in the 9th in whole sign, I can say from experience that it creates a pure joy and love in the unknown and in foreign places. It means you have an insatiable desire to educate yourself about your surroundings and you feel the safest around people who are very different from you bc you feel/experience that they judge you significantly less. Bc she has a natal 4H Moon opposing her Sun in the 10th, that sense of safety is vital and it means she's actually always struggled with that. With having a burning need TO put herself in the public eye and be very visible but weirdly feel attacked and unsafe the longer she's in view. It exacerbates deeper issues, imo, around fearing being vulnerable and may make a person create an outward persona as an armor they can wear to protect themselves.

So when her Moon is in a place that's opposite where it normally feels comfortable but she's USED to feeling uncomfortable, it kind of creates a sense of balance where she finds peace and freedom in what's foreign to her bc she's used to what's familiar hurting her. Then with the Sun being opposite of its joy, she's able to explore her inner child (Leo's ruled by the Sun and = children/joy), and find places that connect her to her early childhood interests (3H = early childhood education/experiences). And for her, that was always anime, among other things. So in this country, honestly, she feels the safest, on every fathomable level, esp on an inner child level, that she's ever been.

She might deadass get an apartment or property in Japan. And she SHOULD. They'll love her and she'll return it 10x over ❤️

For those curious, I offer Astrocartography readings here in my Expanded Services section.

#celebrity astrology #astrology #megan thee stallion #megan thee stallion astrology #astrocartography

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blooming-violets · 6 months

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Trick-Or-Treat (part two) || TASM

Summary: Another Halloween, another year gone by, and more Claire and Benjy to keep Peter entertained. There's never a dull moment in the Parker household. It's a very short read and simple and cute. (read last years Halloween fic here)

A/N: It's been a while since I've written anything. I'll dip my toes in and see how it feels by starting with the cute twins in Peter's life. Special thanks to @tarzinnia for bringing back last years Halloween fic and inspiring me to attempt writing again. Happy Halloween, bitches!

Spider-Man.

That’s what Claire insisted on being for Halloween. Peter couldn’t help but be proud of her choices.

“I don’t think there’s a better costume out there,” he boasted to you late one evening. He was sitting at the kitchen table, happily sewing a handmade Spider suit for his daughter.

“Don’t tell that to Benjy,” you replied. “He’ll be heartbroken to hear you think his Buzz Lightyear costume is subpar.”

Peter huffed, “Store bought will always be subpar. He wouldn’t even let me hand make it for him.”

“You didn’t see him when we walked by it at the store. He fell in love. He looked up at me with those big brown eyes and I couldn’t say no to that face. He adores that costume. You’re just playing favorites because Claire chose Spider-Man.”

Peter smirked, “The kid has great taste, what can I say?”

You ruffled your husband's mop of messy hair and chuckled, “Just wait until she starts telling people she’s dressed as her dad for Halloween. That smile will be wiped right off your smug face. There’s no faster way to lose your secret identity than to have children. They can’t keep anything secret.” You passed him a red tutu to sew around the waist of the costume. Claire might want to dress like her father’s alternate identity but she still wanted to have the princess vibes she loved. “I think you should add a tutu to your suit. You’d look fabulous.”

Peter laughed, “I really would, wouldn’t I?”

“I’ve got to go to bed. The twins drained all my energy today. Please don’t stay up too late working on the costume. You still have plenty of time to get it done.”

He lifted up his head for a kiss, “I’ll follow you shortly. Just a few more finishing touches…”

Claire’s eyes lit up when she saw her costume. Peter had successfully added the skirt and bedazzled the entire thing to create a sparkling, princess version of Spider-Man.

“It’s perfect!” She shouted with excitement. “I’m going to look just like you daddy!”

“Is this what I look like in your eyes? Full of sparkles and absolutely spooktacular?” He held the costume up to her small frame to admire his work.

“Let’s get you kids dressed! It’s almost time to leave,” you shouted as you bustled into the living room holding Benjy’s costume and a pile of clothes. “Put some warm clothes on Claire under her suit, please, Peter.” You tossed him her thermal sweater and pants. “It’s going to drop down to the 40’s tonight and I don’t want them to catch a cold.”

You quickly got Benjy into his warm clothes and tugged on his Buzz Lightyear suit while Peter dressed Claire.

“Are we going to see Auntie May tonight?” Benjy asked. It was no surprise. He asked this just about every single night in the hopes that he’d get to see his favorite person. Tonight was his lucky night.

You gave him a wink, “She texted me a moment ago and told me she was on her way over.”

Benjy jumped excitedly around the room before running straight to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her walking up to the apartment building, so he could alert the entire family of her arrival.

You turned around to get a good look at Claire as Peter finished carefully zipping her in. He stood up to marvel at his creation. Tears of love and joy brimmed in his eyes which he quickly tried to wipe away before anyone noticed but you caught them. His love for his children often brought him to tears. You wrapped an arm around his waist and snuggled into his side.

“You did good,” you whispered to him. “She looks great.”

“I know everyone says they have the cutest kids but they’re all wrong. Ours win. It’s a good thing they inherited mostly your genes so they could end up this adorable. If they got mine, they might end up looking like haggard monsters,” he joked.

“Oh, shut up. Benjy is the spitting image of you and he’s the most precious, perfect boy I’ve ever seen.”

Peter turned to wrap you against his chest. He placed a warm kiss against the top of your head, “We make cute kids. Maybe we should make some more some time soon.” You quietly gasped under your breath, “Peter Parker. Are you implying what I think you are?”

A sneaky smile tugged at the corner of his lips, “Maybe. The twins are going to start kindergarten next year. They’ll be full time at school. It sounds like a perfect time to bring a new little bug into our lives.”

“I-” you weren’t sure what to say. “We’d need a bigger place. Three kids in one apartment is not going to work for us. We have been saving up for a house, though…I mean, if we move to the suburbs, you’d have to commute with Spider-Man…my job is done remotely so that won’t matter but you’d have to go back and forth into the city. I was looking into some nice school districts. We’d have to adjust our budget a bit. It could be doable…”

“Is that a yes?” He asked, cutting through your attempts to mentally plan your entire future.

You smiled, “It’s a yes.”

Peter scooped you up into his arms and spun around with a joyful laugh, “We’re going to have another baby!”

“Alright, alright, put me down! Nothing is set in stone, yet. Let’s try to get through Halloween first.” You took a step away from your husband and glanced around the room.

Benjy was still patiently waiting at the window for any glimpse of May. Claire was nowhere to be found.

“Claire?” You called out. “Where’d you run off too? Auntie May will be here soon. We’re going to leave in a minute to Trick or Treat.”

You walked down the hall and peeked into the bathroom. Nothing. You poked your head into the twins shared bedroom. Nothing.

“Claire?” You called out again.

“In here!” She shouted from inside your bedroom.

You pushed open the door and your jaw dropped at the sight occurring before your horrified eyes.

“Look, momma!” Claire sang. “I’m daddy!”

Your daughter, in her sparkling Spider suit, was stuck halfway up the wall. She crawled up to the ceiling with nothing but her finger tips and the toes of her red converse.

“Peter!” You shouted, not able to take your eyes off her. As she reached the ceiling, she smoothly made the upside down transition until she was crawling directly over your head.

Peter showed up at your side. It took him a second to find the source of your stunned silence. When his eyes slowly looked up, his mouth fell open to mimic your own.

“Holy shit,” he whispered.

“That’s a bad word, daddy!” Claire chastised him from above his head. “Catch me!”

Without a word, Peter snatched her from the air as she gracefully unstuck herself from the ceiling. She giggled at the action as if crawling up walls and leaping into her father’s arms from above was an everyday occurrence for her.

“I’m Spider-Man just like you,” she hummed happily, not old enough to fully grasp the weight of what she was saying or what she’d just done.

You and Peter exchanged terrified looks with each other. A shocked silence had stolen any attempts at forming words from your mouths as you both desperately tried to comprehend what you’d just witnessed.

“Uh huh…yeah, sweetie…just like me…” Peter managed to squeak out.

“Auntie May’s here!” Benjy squealed from the other room.

Claire squirmed out of her father’s protectful grasp to run towards her brother, both brimming with excitement to let May into their home.

Neither you nor Peter could move.

“Did that just…” your question trailed off.

Peter nodded, “Yeah. Yes, it did.”

You took a long, shuddered breath, “Okay. That’s okay. That’s fine. Everything is fine. We just…have…a daughter with abilities…no big deal…not a problem at all…everything is great…”

Peter tugged you to his side, sensing you were about to start spiraling if he didn’t put a stop to it, “It is fine. I’ve been through this before. I can handle this again. She seems like she’s handling this better than I was at 16. She’s a natural at it! It’s totally, 100% fine and not at all terrifying.” Peter was always a terrible liar. “It appears she may have inherited more of my genes than I initially thought and that is okay. She’s really embodying the spirit of that Halloween costume isn’t she?” He gave a breathless chuckle.

You shot him a stern look at his poor attempt at a joke, “Seriously?”

He shrugged with a guilty expression etched onto his face, “They don’t write a parents handbook for this kind of thing.”

“Our preschooler can crawl up walls! Her teachers are going to hate us, oh god. What are we going to do?”

The buzzer rang, alerting everyone of May’s presence at the door.

Peter glanced towards the sound, “Right now, we are going to let May in and then we are going to take the kids out Trick or Treating. We are going to have a fun night watching them run around and collect candy. They are going to be kids and enjoy their Halloween. Then we will come home, let them go crazy with sugar, then attempt to get them to bed. Afterwards, you and I will start on our endeavor to make baby number three. And then…tomorrow, we can figure this out more. But, tonight, tonight is for us.”

You gave a slow nod, allowing his words to comfort you, repeating his mantra, “Tonight is for us. Tomorrow is for worrying.”

Peter gave you a warm smile and a quick kiss, “Worry tomorrow, have fun tonight. This a problem for future us. Present us needs to only worry about how much candy we can fit into those kids’ pumpkin buckets.”

A smile grew over your face as some of the fear dissipated. Not all of it. You were always going to fear for the future of your children but Peter was always going to be there to help smooth out those worries.

“If it’s Trick or Treat, Claire definitely chose ‘trick’ this year.”

Peter laughed, “And Benjy will always choose ‘treat’. That will be one thing that never changes. The boy loves chocolate! Let’s go let May in before the kids break down the door. Come on, my son needs sugar and my daughter needs an exorcism. A perfect Halloween combination!”

The End :)

#the amazing spiderman #tasm #tasm fic #peter parker #peter parker fic #tasm peter #tasm peter fic #spiderman #spiderman fic #andrew garfield #trick or treat part two #tasm x reader #peter parker x reader

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saphir93 · 2 months

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Adam x Lute - First meeting in Eden

Adam chose his exorcists, but if he and Lute had already met before in Eden? I loved the character of Adam so much, he is very deep and full of things to say yet, his narrative arc is not closed and his emotional bond with Lute is wonderful, it definitely brings out his best and best side. He must came back in the show, as I say feel that his character arc is not closed. Hope evry Adam fan and Lute X Adam will enjoy this things that I made.

First meeting in Eden

Garden of Eden. Adam and Lilith have just been created, but they don't get along at all and do nothing but argue. Adam turns offended while Lilith escapes and runs away. Lute comes down from the sky because she is curious to see the first man, so she flies through the garden but Lucifer is also there, so she decides to land and hide behind a tree. “What am I doing? I…I shouldn't be here.” she thinks. She is sweaty and her heart beats hard, but as soon as she places her gaze not covered, she scrutinizes Adam. Adam is sitting on a rock, he is naked, beautiful, perfect but sad, very sad. Lute is struck by such beauty and blushes.

“So this is the first man.”

Meanwhile Adam complains “That damned female never listens to me! I fucking hate her! I do everything I can to please her and she rejects me!” Lute sees that Adam is crying out. “I can't accept it, I can't see him being like this.” she thinks, then she decides to reveal herself to him. Adam looks up and is struck by his beauty and stops crying.

Adam “You are an angel…but, but you are a woman.” Lute “Hello first man. Yes, there are also female angels among us.” Adam “Well you know, the only one who visits us often is always Lucifer. I didn't think there were even females among you. My name is Adam anyway.” Lute “Adam, what a beautiful name. So tell me Adam, why are you so sad? Something wrong?" Adam “What's wrong? That I, Adam, I'm never enough for that ungrateful female! She's always complaining and criticizing, I can't stand her anymore." Lute approaches Adam, stroking his back. “But you are Adam, you are the first man, she must respect you and be grateful to be able to have you by her side. She doesn't realize how lucky she is!" Adam sprang to his feet. “You're fucking right! I am Adam, the first man! Everything will come from me, I need respect and I will have it!” Lute smiles “Of course the first man deserves it!”

Adam “Oh Lute, it would be nice if women were all like you angels! I feel better now and I thank you. I will make sure he respects me!”

Lute “Happy to have been of help to the first man.”.

Adam as he walks away. "Yes. You know, I also hope to see you again.”

Lute makes a sad face, then she thinks "I also wish it could have lasted longer Adam.". Lute while she is returning and flying carefree collides with Lucifer "And what are you doing here?" Lucifer was perplexed "I'm asking you the same question! I was checking that everything was fine as usual." Lute "Me too." Lucifer "Actually, I saw you as you approached Adam." Lute "But you were very close to Lilith!"

Lucifer "Okay, listen...neither of us saw anything." Lute "Clear" Lucifer "Good." Lute thinks “He knows I shouldn't be here and yet he's letting me go” she arrives at the gates of heaven to look sadly at the clouds beyond the gate “I hope Adam is okay”.

A lot of time passes and Lucifer is expelled with Lilith, the two make Eve eat the apple. Adam eventually became the first soul welcomed into heaven. Adam becomes an angel. Sera's office. Sera “Now that you are leader of the exorcists you can choose from our best fighting angels.” Evening shows the row of exterminating angels. Lute meets Adam's gaze and is afraid of being discovered, Adam recognizes her immediately and with a pleased face points to her without thinking. Adam smile “How small the universe is...” Sera “What's happening Adam?” Adam “It happens that I have chosen! There she is, the sexiest one. I really want that badass bitch over there! She is perfect! " Sera rolls her eyes at Adam's response while Lute tries to keep herself composed even though she feels uncomfortable while her linemate, Agatha glares at her full of envy. Adam “Even the one who looks at her badly, but yes. I want both bitches. They are perfect.”. Once outside Sera's office, Adam takes off his helmet and looks at Lute "I knew I'd see you again." Lute tried to avoid it. Adam “No. Don't do that, look at me." Lute takes courage and looks at him, Adam winks “It's our secret.” Lute blushes. “Lucky bitch who saw the first man. You are so sweet.” concludes Adam.

The start of a fan series I'm working on and writing the script. This part will become a future fan animated video, collaboration with @kimtrik96

#vivziepop #canon couple #adam x lute #adam hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #lute hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lute #guitarspear #couple #vivziepop hazbin hotel

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hanilessa · 1 year

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before reading please pay attention to the series masterlist, to make sure you have read the previous chapters!

your likes, reblogs and replies are greatly appreciated! i hope you like it, enjoy reading!

HALF AN HOUR FOR LOVE — Childe x F!Reader Chapter 1. You, him and his Mercedes Benz

The laptop screen glowed brightly in the darkness of the small room. It was early autumn outside, so it was a little cool inside room. You rubbed your cold hands and looked back at your laptop monitor.

"Honey, are you eating well?" Asked the woman on the other side of the laptop screen.

You just sighed, smiling lightly. Your mother, as always, was in her repertoire. She knew perfectly well, that you're an excellent cook and you can provide yourself with delicious and healthy food. And the woman was always worried in vain. But you knew that it was her motherly heart that worried about her child.

"It's okay, mom, don't worry." You changed your sitting position, because your back was gradually numb. "I ate four times today. If it comforts you."

The woman just laughed. Her wrinkled face smiled with a knowing smile.

"You're right, I'm worrying too much again."

You hear loud noises on the other side of the screen. And your heart immediately felt warm.

"How is Xiao doing?" You asked, remembering your younger brother. And how he was dissatisfied and annoyed that you were leaving for in another city in order to get a good job and help him enter a good academy. He always told you that he could handle himself.

You believe him. Is it true. He was a smart boy. But modern education required not only to have a mind, but also to have a decent amount of money in your wallet. You wanted to help your brother, so immediately after graduating from college, you began looking for a high paying job in a big city.

And as you were about to leave, Xiao hurriedly hugged you, still angry with you, but you felt that he was grateful to you. Even though he didn't show it openly.

"He is fine." Mother's voice brought you back to reality. You looked back at the woman. She looked tired, but she was very happy to see you again. "You know he's always studying. I ask him to take a rest, but he doesn't listens to me. He said he shouldn't rely on you alone."

You just shook your head. Xiao always said that. As soon as you thought about it, you felt that your eyes were starting to gradually close up. You let out a loud yawn.

"It's getting late, go to bed soon!" Your mother said sternly.

"Enough, mom, i’m not a child anymore. But you're right, I have a lot of things to do tomorrow." You took a deep breath, stretching your stiff limbs. The thought of work made you feel very tired.

"You can handle anything, honey. I love you." The woman smiled warmly at you and waved her hand.

"I love you and Xiao too. Bye" You said and closed Skype.

Silence enveloped your room and soul. You missed your family very much, and it was hard to get used to living alone. But you didn't want to give up on your goal.

You sighed heavily and lay down on the bed hugging your soft toys. This created the illusion that you were not alone here. But it was easier for you. Tomorrow will be a new day, and you should try to do everything in the best possible way.

You slowly walked towards the main building of the company you worked for. It was large and very beautiful. It really got attention. It seemed that the owner was very fond of luxury and prestige. You thought, you were very lucky to work in a place like this.

The salary really corresponded your expectations, and you could easily spend money on daily expenses, save for Xiao's education, and send money to your family in your hometown.

Despite the fact that it was autumn outside, the bright sun was shining today. It gave you strength and energy for today.

While thinking about what things you need to do today, you noticed a beautiful black car outside the building. You easily guessed that it was the car of the owner of the company.

You didn't like gossip and rumors, but sometimes you heard it against your will. You've heard a lot of things about the owner of the company. He was twenty three years old. And he was older than you by two years.

Someone said that he constantly throws parties in his office. Other people talked that he ordering girls from a strip club.

You thought. What is this guy doing with his life? Didn't he have goals and aspirations? Your and his life paths were very different.

You remembered how you were told that Tartaglia usually came to work in the afternoon. That's why it was strange to see his car here so early. It was hard to deny, the car was really beautiful, and you would like to ride one like that at least once.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by a familiar voice. You felt a slight push from your back and someone's hands on your shoulders.

"Hey, Y/n!" You heard Yoimiya's voice.

You turned to the girl and saw how she smiled happily at you. You met her on your first day at work. The girl was kind to you and was ready to help you always. Yoimiya was a good and cheerful person, so you were glad you got to know her.

Because in your current situation, you lacked such a person next to you. But the blonde was always there, for which you were very grateful to her.

"Hi, Yoimiya." You smiled happily.

You and the girl were talking and exchanging news while heading to the office where your workplaces were. The day promised to be busy.

You had a really hard day today. You were on your feet all day, and you didn't have a single free minute to rest. But you happily noted that you coped with all the planned work.

You stretched tiredly and stood up from your seat. Today you had a very busy day, so you felt a little tired. But that didn't stop you from thinking enough about how you would come home and take a warm bath with aromatic oils.

Maybe you can afford some red wine. You loved such evenings, so this idea inspired you very much.

You politely said 'goodbye' to your colleagues and hurried out to the street. The scarlet sunset gradually spread across the sky, bathing you in gentle light. Your mood was good, and, it would seem, nothing could spoil it.

Bam!

Sharp pain shot through your body as you felt a jolt to your side. You were pushed slightly to the side, and you fell to the cold, hard ground.

An involuntary cry of pain flew from your lips, and you looked indignantly at your offender. But you saw only a black lacquered door, which began to gradually open.

"Damn, I just recently got rid of the scratches on the doors." A voice was heard from inside the car. Although the man cursed, his voice was very melodic and beautiful.

Wait… Was he only worried about his car, when he apparently injured another person?

"Hey, are you serious?" You said irritably, realizing that you had received a injury and were not able to rise on your own. You looked at your hands, realizing that you had peeled the skin from your palms, which upset you even more.

"Hm?" It was heard from the side, and you again looked at the man getting out of the car.

You immediately froze as the realization came to you. It was none other than Tartaglia. Owner of company. You realized that you had never seen him before, and you had to admit that he was really attractive, as your colleagues described him.

The man slowly took off his sunglasses and looked down at his feet, where you were still lying on the ground. For some reason you didn't like that look.

It felt like he was mocking you with just his eyes. His ginger hair shimmered in the light of the setting sun, and his blue eyes carefully followed your every move. The man's lips twitched into a slight grin as he slammed the car door behind him.

"I didn't see you, baby." He ruffled his hair. "Looks like you and I have a little trouble."

"Yeah, and instead of helping me, the first thing you did, was check to see if your car had a scratch!" You said indignantly, looking at the guy with annoyance.

He made a surprised face, as if such behavior was normal.

"I don't see any problem here."

You sighed in annoyance and realized that you wouldn't wait for help from him. You had to try to get up on your own. Raising yourself carefully, you excitedly tried to keep your balance, but your legs treacherously failed you, and you felt yourself falling.

But strong male hands didn't let you fall back to the ground. You felt an unprecedented lightness and looked at the man who continued to hold you in his arms.

You looked at his handsome face and felt your cheeks turn red. It was too close and you felt awkward and embarrassed. Tartaglia noticed your embarrassment and smirked defiantly, realizing why exactly you were embarrassed.

"Okay, let's be careful this time." The man helped you to your feet and opened the black car door, inviting you to sit inside. "You're right, if we don't take care of your injury, it could be a big problem."

You felt like he was doing you a favor. This unpleasant residue remained in your heart. You remained silent, waiting for him to sit in the driver's seat.

The interior of the car looked very nice, the chair was comfortable, and you tried to relax as much as possible with a injured leg. Well, you might ironically think that you had the opportunity to ride this car.

The ginger man got into the car, and the car started moving. He told you that he would take you to the hospital to see his friend who was a doctor, so you shouldn't worry too much. You didn't want to talk to him, so you didn't say anything.

Loud music was playing in the car, and you grimaced uncomfortably. The man continued to talk about all sorts of nonsense, which annoyed you very much. Your head started to hurt. It was different from how you wanted to spend tonight.

"Hey, can you stop being silent?" Childe said in annoyance as he turned the steering wheel to the right, and the car also turned its wheels, heading forward. "I've been trying to get you to talk for ten minutes."

Is he really serious? You had the feeling that he didn't even realize what situation he and you were in right now.

"I don't want to talk to a person who doesn't see a problem with hurting someone." You answered sharply.

To your surprise, you noticed that he thought about it and fell silent. It gave you a chance to relax despite the nagging pain in your leg. Tall beautiful buildings flashed outside the car window, and you realized that the car was passing through one of the richest areas of the city.

It looked very impressive and you looked excitedly out the window. Large buildings, beautiful windows in expensive shops, well groomed streets. It was really different from the area you lived in.

Your eyes lit up. You thought that you will definitely do everything possible so that your family also lives in a place like this someday. Thinking about it, you didn't notice the car pull up in front of a large hospital building.

When the doctor checked your injured leg, you had the feeling that you were somewhere else. All thoughts disappeared, only pain remained. But the doctor reassured you and said that it was just a slight injury, which should pass soon.

You uncertainly thanked the man, after which he and Tartaglia talked about something for some more time, but you didn't want to go into details.

When you and he left the hospital building, the sky was already bright with the moon and stars. It was cold, so you wrapped your coat tighter. A small puff of warm steam escaped from your mouth.

You looked at the ginger man next to you out of the corner of your eye, he looked relaxed and calm. Like nothing happened at all. You just shook your head and, without saying a word, headed towards the bus stop.

Childe, noticing that you were leaving, raised his eyebrows in surprise and said:

"Hey, wait! Don't you want to say me something?"

You stopped. "Excuse me?"

He carefully leaned his back against his car and smirked defiantly.

"You didn't even thank me."

You felt your jowl hit the ground. This guy…

"Are you really serious right now?" He looked at you with interest, realizing that you are gradually starting to get angry. "You were the one who hit me with the car door, was rude to me, didn’t apologize. And now you're telling me that I didn't thank you for taking me to the hospital that I ended up in because of you?"

You felt your cheeks flush with anger. Now you were really very angry.

Tartaglia just smirked smugly and moved towards you.

"Okay, I understood. You want me to apologize to you, right?" He carefully lifted your chin with his long fingers, forcing you to look into his blue eyes. “I have an offer for you. You. Me. My bed. What do you think about it?"

What happened after that shocked the ginger man. The scarlet mark from the slap burned like a burn on his cheek. He moved slightly away from you, put his hand to his burning skin, and an unexpected glint of excitement appeared in his eyes.

Childe looked at your face and your facial expression seemed to him the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Now you looked like you were a fierce warrior in the heat of battle.

You suppressed another thought of hitting him again and looked into his eyes in annoyance.

"What kind of person do you think I am? If you were born with a golden spoon in your mouth doesn't mean you can get whatever you want."

That's all you said to him before you turned your back on him and walked away, leaving the shocked man alone.

Tartaglia continued to excitedly press his hand to his cheek, watching you leave. As his shock faded, a cheeky smirk appeared on Childe's face.

"Such a cutie…"

In the evening of the next day, loud music was again playing in Tartaglia's office. The smell of expensive cigarettes and alcohol was everywhere. Half naked girls danced on the table.

The ginger man sat relaxed on a soft leather sofa and slowly drank whiskey from a small wineglass. His head was empty, he didn't want to do anything at all. He just lived for today and enjoyed it. He spent a lot of money on entertainment in order to get away from the problems that worried him.

By the way, about the devil.

The screen of his iphone lit up with a bright light, and messages from two people appeared on the screen. He lazily picked up his phone and when Tartaglia read the message, he angrily threw the phone aside and wearily ran his hand over his face.

Father [5:15 PM]

Did you buy a wedding present for Lumine?

Mom [5:23 PM]

Dear, did you see our lawyer today?

"I'm so tired." He sighed as he leaned back on the sofa and took another sip of his alcoholic drink.

"Hm?" Childe heard from the side and turned his head towards Ayato.

A blue haired man stood near the window to full height and looked out the window. When the man heard his friend's voice, he turned around.

"You have three naked girls in your office right now. You can go and relax with any of them. Should I teach you?"

"I'm not talking about this." Tartaglia snorted, pushing his ginger hair out of his face. He licked his lips. "It seems to me that I am stuck in a deep hole, and there is no way out. I just want to get away from problems."

Ayato nodded in understanding. He knew about the problems of his friend, he would like to help him, but didn't know how to do it. Perhaps he would have offered Tartaglia to solve problems with money. But if it were possible, Childe would have done it a long time ago.

So he decided to help his friend in another way by offering him a bet as a form of entertainment. They were both gambling people, so the man thought that Tartaglia would appreciate his offer and be able to relax a bit.

"Then I have an offer for you. How about a bet? "

The ginger man looked at his friend in annoyance.

"I don’t care about your damn bets right now, you know?"

Ayato smiled impertinently.

"If you win, I will persuade my mother to help you and your family in law court."

Childe excitedly got up from his seat.

"Are you serious now?"

"Absolutely."

He walked closer to Ayato and said: "Tell me your conditions."

The blue haired man made a thoughtful expression in his face and looked out the window again.

"The first girl to leave this building should get into your bed."

Tartaglia rolled his eyes. Ayato was always too predictable. For some reason, it seemed to Childe that this wouldn't be too difficult a thing. Especially with his charm. He followed Ayato's gaze and looked at the opening door. Just in time.

And when the girl finally left the building, the ginger man held his breath for a second.

It was you. You, the girl who slapped him yesterday and lit a deep fire in his heart. He followed you with his gaze, noticing how awkwardly you stumbled over a small pebble in the road and straightened your skirt. A cheeky smile of anticipation appeared on his face.

"It's getting interesting."

— taglist: @httpmitsuya @gojoandelsalovechilde @duckyyyx @i-x4o @chishiyawifesworld

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adaines-furious-feast · 17 days

Text

Meanwhile, in the Baronies

Scene: a young skeleton-puppet-goblin BARON sits atop his bed. His face is painted on, so no emotion can be seen, but the way he holds his head in his hands, it is clearly not a good time for him.

A slightly older skeleton-puppet DARON waltzes in and opens the curtains, letting sunlight stream into the room.

BARON does not react.

Daron: Good morning cousin!

Baron looks over at the window, then back to the floor.

Baron: Is it only morning?

Daron: It’s just gone nine o’clock.

BARON let’s out a long sigh. If DARON could roll his non-existent eyes, he would.

Baron: Sad hours seem so long. Was that my stark father who just left?

Daron: Yup. Why are you still so sad?

Baron: Because I don’t have the thing that makes me happy.

Daron: Romance?

Baron: Without.

Daron: Without romance?

Baron: Without his favor where my romance is kept.

Daron: Alas, that romance partner, so perfect in your eyes, is not so perfect when you actually try to speak to him.

Baron: It is so rude, to conjure someone into existence and then to deny them what was promised. And to conjure a family too, so that I am not the only one that is suffering.

DARON's non-existent eyes are rolling so hard.

Baron: Please cousin do not laugh at me.

Daron: I would rather cry.

Baron: At what?

Daron: At how much you hurt yourself for this boy that does not want you.

BARON stands and paces about the room.

Baron: Oh, cousin. My non-existent heart aches so much already due to my romance partner’s rejection. Knowing that expressing my sorrow makes you hurt too only makes that sorrow worsen. Romance causes so much pain, and yet to not feel romance is to not feel the beating of your own heart, or the pulse of your victim as you place your hands around their neck. It is madness, but to not have it is something worse than that. Goodbye, cousin.

Daron: Baron if you were to leave me now, it would be you who is rude.

Baron: I have lost myself. I am not here. This is not Baron. He is somewhere else.

Daron: Will you at least tell me what he’s done to make you this upset?

Baron: You want me to moan and weep and tell you?

Daron: No, just tell me. Like a normal person.

Baron: My Romance Partner Riz Gukgak will not be swept away by any of the words that I say. He is one without romance in his heart, and though he has no defences against my charms they are always ineffective. All the lessons we learn, for nothing. Not words, nor threats, nor gold, nor time will change his mind.

Daron: He’s sworn a life of chastity?

Baron: Not in his words but in his actions and in his emotions. And it is such a waste. For he is fair, and wise. He has rejected me, and all romance partners to come, and in that vow I am dead.

Daron: Listen to me, forget about him.

Baron: How?

Daron: You are a wonderful nightmareish horror, that any person would be lucky to have as a romance partner. Go and look at others.

Baron: But there are no others as fair and wise as he who created my very existence, and yours as well. You cannot teach me how to forget about him.

Daron: I will, even if it kills me. Let’s go.

#As I was writing this I realised #the ball that the Seven go to are where Baron meets his Juliet #Or would have if the blopplegangers hadn't shown up #Let me be clear #the Baronies are normal fantasy middle ages #with mostly humans #and then the Aron family #made from living nightmares #dimension 20 #fantasy high #baron from the baronies #I have a large to-write list and this was nowhere on it

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djs-den · 1 year

Text

i’ve been wanting more canine posts lately and someone once told me “if something doesn’t exist yet, create it” so heres my 10 tips on how to feel more doggy like

hold things with your mouth - make sure the thing your holding is clean ofc. i always hold my phone in my mouth when my hands are full but i occasionally hold clothes and light bags. makes me feel like a good boy fetching my stuff

eat treats! - im a domestic dog so treats to me look more like biscuits and crackers but jerky is also a great option. i like to make my own and shape it like little bones. if anyone wants some easy recipes just ask. i like to reward myself after doing a task by eating a cookie

wiggle wiggle - i dont have a tail so i like to wiggle when im happy. it doesnt look too strange to strangers and gives me species euphoria. i like to wag my foot when i sit down and shake side to side when im standing.

wear affirming clothes - im not just talking about collars and tails. anything that makes you feel more like yourself. i have this brown fleece hoodie in the colour of my fur and wear a bandanna around my neck like a collar. anything that makes you feel happy

make sounds - i like to make a little ʷᵒᵒᶠ under my breath like a sigh. some people find vocalisations weird so i like to blend it in a way it sounds natural like whining a bit when im feeling sad or bored or bark my words out by saying it loud and quick like HEY!!

walk near nature - i live in a city dense area where theres not alot of (safe) parks nearby. so i always hang around near trees and grass to feel more connected with nature. if you can go to a park or forest then thats amazing. taking time to admire nature feels good

act playful - this is more for puppies or domestic dogs. i like to walk around my friends when we talk and move around. i cant exactly play-bow in the middle of a busy sidewalk so i usually lean on a surface or wiggle around.

ask for affection - im lucky to be surrounded by people who like to show their affection. either by verbal praise or physical touch like hugs. if you dont have access to acts like this then ask (if its safe). sometimes i just ask my parents for a hug or show something im proud of. you can also write down some affirmations on a note and remind yourself that you are perfect the way you are ◡̈

sleep dog-like - most ppl cant roll themselves into a ball but you can definitely hug a pillow. i like to sleep in a fetal position and with my back to the headboard but thats cuz im smaller than my bed. just be careful and make sure your in a comfortable position and not straining. making your bed nest like also fun.

eat out of bowls - sounds like a silly thing to say but i always feel puppy like when i eat from a bowl and not a plate. small things to make you feel more in tune with your true self

#dj barks #dogkin #puppykin #dog therian #canine therian #canine kin

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tenderyellowbluefics · 2 years

Note

Hmm Eddie's girlfriend being nervous to open up to him about her mental health issues (maybe depression or bipolar)

♥️

Forever // E.M

I loved writing this so much, I hope you like it! Thank you for the request.

Summary: With your mental health at an all-time low, you find yourself at Eddie's doorstep.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of depression, angst kinda?

You had no clue how you got here. But you were standing outside of Eddie’s trailer in the middle of the pouring rain at midnight.

You felt like you were losing your mind, you didn’t know if it was some sort of breakdown or what, but all you knew was you needed comfort. Not just from anyone, but from Eddie.

You raised your trembling hand to knock on the door of Eddie's trailer. Slowly gaining awareness of just how cold it was outside. You started to feel embarrassed for coming here, what were you going to tell him, you seemed crazy.

"Y/n?" Eddie's groggy voice immediately warmed your heart as his trailer door slowly opened.

"What the hell? Are you okay? Get in here!" He reached his arms out to pull you into his trailer, out of the rain, closing the door behind you. "Are you hurt?" He asked frantically searching your body to make sure there were no wounds.

"No, Eddie, I'm okay." You sniffled.

"Then what the hell are you doing here sweetheart?" He pulled you into his arms, stroking your soaked hair.

"I don't know." You merely whispered into his chest.

"You don't know? Here, let's sit down." He said pulling you over to the couch and sitting you down so he can kneel in front of you. He reached for the blanket sitting on the back of the couch to drape around your trembling body.

"Did something happen?" He questioned with his voice slightly breaking as he hated seeing you like this, so damaged and he didn't know why.

You couldn't respond, too embarrassed to even look him in the face, you looked everywhere in his trailer but the brunette sitting in front of you.

"C'mon baby, you can talk to me." He lifted a hand to guide your face back to his.

"I just feel like I'm going crazy." The tears you were trying so hard to conceal came spilling out.

"Hey, shh, it's okay baby." He wrapped one hand around you while the other held onto the back of your head while it was buried in his chest.

"I feel so stupid." You muttered.

"Don't say that." He said pulling back to look you in the eyes. "You have no reason to feel that way."

"I've always been this way, self-critical, pessimistic." You sniffled, "I've been in and out of half the counselors in this state, and the only thing they all can agree on is I'm fucked. I can't ever seem to be truly happy, and when I am, I'm in this strange state of mania where I don't quite trust what I'm feeling."

"Sweetheart," He whispered, tilting his head to the side with a pained look on his face.

"I never wanted you to see me like this, broken, and fragile. I don't want you to see me differently "

"How else could I see you?" He almost looked as if he was tearing up himself. "How could I see anything else but the most beautiful soul ever created." He placed his hands on either side of your face, with his face only inches from yours.

"You mean everything to me, and for whatever it's worth, I'll always be here." He placed a light kiss on your forehead, "Always."

"Always?" You repeated in the form of confirmation.

"Forever."

You couldn't say anything else, all you could do was wonder how you got so lucky, and about how much you loved him. Your heart felt like it was swelling ten times its normal size, but no longer from pain, but from love.

"Let's get you out of these clothes, your gonna catch a cold." He stood up placing his hand in yours to lead you back to his bedroom.

You sat on his bed while he rummaged through his drawers to find something for you to put on.

"Here, lift your arms." He told you, placing the clothes he'd picked out onto the bed next to you.

As he undressed you, he was as gentle as he'd ever been, looking at you with such love. Not lust, but love, something you'd never seen before.

As you curled up onto him in his bed, you realized, this wasn't puppy love, this was love. You felt as happy and free as you'd ever felt when you laid beside him.

"You okay?" He questioned, noticing you hadn't tried sleeping yet.

"I love you, Eddie." You blurted, not paying any mind to his original question.

"I love you too Y/n." He placed a kiss on your head. "Now go to sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up."

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male-reader-haven · 1 year

Text

❄.·˙「The Feeling's Mutual」˙·.❄

Christmas Week day 4

Y/N needs to learn to knock.🤦‍♂️

First Hobi fic also, but I have many plans for him, being my ult!! Enjoy >:)

Tags: Jung Hoseok x male reader, smut

Warnings: 18+, being walked in on, voyeurism and shared masturbation

"Hey Hobi!" You open the door to Hoseok, your best friend's room. You swear he jumps a foot off the ground shrieking.

"Y/N! Don't scare me like that!" Despite his scolding he laughs. Hoseok always knows how to laugh and create a bright mood in the room. It's part of why you love him. Plus, he is used to you usually barging into his room without warning.

"Heheh, sorry. I just had to come get you. I want to host the christmas party next week and need to talk to you about it." You and Hoseok share a generally large apartment and the other members come over often, making it the mutual home base for everyone.

"Okay, I was hoping we would do something. Not much planning to be done if it's just going to be the eight of us though." He laughs. "We already know the drill."

"True, but I want to make it interesting! We do the same things every year, we need to spice it up a bit this time." You sit down on his bed while he sits down on his swivel chair. Suddenly, the both of you look at each other with bright eyes and a shared braincell.

"Drinking games!"

---Christmas Eve---

"All right guys, it's time to liven the mood a bit." You stand up and gather the attention of the seven guys all dressed in various festive attire. The chattering and laughing dies down as their interest is piqued.

"We went all out this year." You pull out the bottles of tequila blanco from behind your back.

"Yess, shots!" Taehyung grins and claps.

"Not just any shots, my friends, but along with a twist. We are going to play a game called 'drink or death.'"

"That is NOT what you called it when you explained it to me." Hobi sits down at the table, giggling.

"I like it! Sounds daring. How do we play?" Jungkook pipes up from his end of the table.

"Basically it's like truth or dare, except if you don't want to tell the truth or do the dare that someone told you to do, you can take a shot." You explain.

"Ah, okay, I get it. So we either inevitably humiliate ourselves or get blackout drunk." Namjoon reiterates.

"How do we decide who asks who and how turns work?" Yoongi asks.

"We can let the maknae go first. You can ask whoever you want, you just can't have the same person involved in a question twice in a row. Jungkook, you ask somebody!" You point at the youngest at the end of the table.

"Jin hyung! I dare you to go and get me a snack from the kitchen." Jungkook grins. Jin groans and rolls his eyes exaggeratedly.

"Ah, this is how you treat your hyung, eh? With my old aching bones, you make me go through so much?" He gets up and retrieves JK a very raw potato.

"Hyung, I can't eat this!?"

"You should have been more specific then."

The boys all laugh, Hobi slaps the table and any nearby shoulder as usual.

As turns go by and the night gets darker, the christmas party is going well and everyone has at least 2 shots in their system. Jimin speaks up, asking Yoongi.

"Yoongi hyung, tell me that you love me." The table erupts in laughter as Yoongi doesn't hesitate to pour himself a shot. "Ah hyung, you can even text it to me, I'll be happy with anything!"

"Zero hesitation, did you see that?" Hobi is dying of laughter.

"Ok, my turn." Yoongi sighs after taking his shot. "Y/N, you have to do a lap dance for someone of your choice."

"Bet. Hurry and choose a song. Hobi, come here." You pull a chair out from the table and beckon for him to sit. He looks surprised.

"M-me?" He stammers.

"Come on let's choose a song." The maknae line crowds over Yoongi's shoulder as they decide on a song. Across from them Jin tries talking to Namjoon, who you are pretty sure is fast asleep, face down on the table.

"I'm no pussy. This is going to be a lap dance you can't get anywhere else. ARMY would kill for this Hobi, you're lucky." You smile and wink at him. Hobi's face is red, but you're pretty sure it's just from the alcohol. As the music starts to play from Yoongi's phone, you get to work, unbuttoning your shirt just enough so that it's scandalously fluttering with your movements. You sway your hips and drag your hands across yourself seductively, then turn to Hobi, who is staring at you wide-eyed. You put a hand on the back of his chair and hover above him, lifting his head to look at you while you grind over him, making sure to shoot smug glances behind you at the other members, who are both laughing and cheering you on. The music stops and you take a bow, resulting in claps and laughter from the others.

"Wow, our Y/N is something else." Jin shkes his head in feign disappointment. "See, even Namjoon is disappointed." He gestures toward a snoring Namjoon.

"Who you gonna ask next Y/N?" Jimin asks.

"Ah, right! Hobi, might as well." You turn to talk to Hoseok, but find he is rushing out of the room.

"I uh, actually have to go do aomething. I'll be back." He doesn't meet your gaze.

"Oh, okay. Go ahead." You watch him hustle away, slightly confused. "Taehyung, take my turn, I'm gonna go check up on him."

As you walk down the hallway to Hoseok's room, your mind races. What if you upset him? Maybe you went a little too far with the stupid dare. Did he even ever agree to it? You shake your head and open his door.

"Hobi, I-" You stop in shock. He is sat on his bed, face flushed and head back, pants unzipped and a hand around his cock. Upon you opening the door, his head whips to you and his eyes go wide in panic.

"Y/N!"

You immediately slam the door and turn your back. "Oh god, Hobi i'm so sorry. I should have knocked." You hear rustling and quick movements from inside.

"No its fine. Hang on, please don't leave, I can explain-" You listen to Hobi's panicked voice and suddenly it clicks for you. Your lap dance earlier...

"Hoseok... can I come in now?"

"Uh, y-yeah..."

You open the door slowly and see Hoseok sitting in his swivel chair, face buried in his arms on his desk in embarrassment.

"Listen, I just, this is definitely not how I wanted you to find out..." Despite his face being hidden, you can tell he is red. "But I like you Y/N. A lot. You're adorable and so much fun to be around and you lift me up everyday, your perfect smile and eyes and body, I just couldn't handle it..." He sighs sadly. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't ruin your christmas eve with this..."

"Hobi, look at me." You pull up another chair in front of him. Hoseok peeks out from under his arms. "It's okay, because I feel the same."

"I- huh?" He sits up and cocks his head.

"Ever since we moved in together. I can't believe I never noticed you felt the same. I mean, I noticed some things, but I thought it was just wishful thinking."

Hoseok's eyes light up, his mouth slightly agape. "I didn't think you liked guys."

"Me? A straight man? How dare you." You smile and feign offense. Suddenly he moves forward in his chair and holds you in a tight hug.

"I'm so happy..." He melts into you. You hug him back. You get that giddy feeling in your chest just like in middle school when you have a crush. Hoseok breaks away from the hug, only to lean forward again, this time planting his lips on yours. You reciprocate, closing your eyes and putting a hand on his thigh. You both get into the kiss, deepening it and exploring each other's mouths, breathing heavily in between. You break for a moment to breathe.

"Here, let me help you finish." You look up devilishly into Hoseok's eyes as they watch your hand reach down and touch his erection behind his pants, still sloppy and half-zipped from earlier. Almost instinctively, Hoseok's hand moves too, towards your own growing problem. You both undo each other's pants and pull down your shorts. You are sitting across from each other in different chairs, erections exposed and eyes locked on each other.

"Y/N, can jack you off? Please?" You nod as Hoseok's long, beautiful figers wrap around you.

"Together..." You whisper, wrapping your own fingers around Hoseok's cock. You lean forward again, passionately making out with Hoseok as you both work at getting each other off. Your moans and kisses filling the room with obscene noises as the sound of your mutual masturbation only turns you on more.

"F-fuck, this is so hot Y/N, sunshine..." Hoseok's voice is deeper than usual, putting your stomach in knots.

"Awe, Sunshine, that's a new one... hnnnn..." You smile as you pant and put your free hand to Hoseok's face as you continue to kiss. Hoseok's free hand finds a spot in your hair, tightly gripping a lock and making you moan into his mouth. Your kisses become sloppier and more hurried as you can feel his hands working you closer to orgasm. "Hobi, you're so good at this, hng, youre gonna make me come, ahh..."

Hoseok's face has a dazed, pleasured expression as he looks down into your eyes from slightly leaning back. "Shit, do you touch yourself just like this baby? Just like how you're touching me? Show me, show me what you look like when you come."

Hoseok's words set your heart on fine and you feel a pit of pleasure slowly rise. The feeling of his hand touching you and the thought of your roommate getting you off only helps bring you to the brink.

"AH, fuck, coming! Hngh!" Your voice cracks and you whimper as your cock twitches and you come into Hoseok's hand.

"That's it sunshine, fuck, holy shit!" Despite your orgasm, you continue to pump Hoseok until he squints his eyes and throws his head back, stifling a moan.

"Hn, ahha-" Hoseok orgasms not long after, his release shooting on your hand and a bit on your shirt. The both of you sit there, chests heaving and eyes locked on each other.

"Holy fuck." You breathe.

"Yeah." A smile creeps onto Hoseok's face as he looks at you.

"We should probably change and clean up before our guests wreck our place." You laugh and point to your shirts, both messy with each other's come.

"Yeah, they are definitely going to notice." Hobi smirks and lifts his shirt over his head.

"Frankly, I don't care." You reach for his face and plant a cute, tender kiss on his lips while his arms are still in the air, stuck in his shirt. You can feel his grin while you kiss him.

"Me either." He takes off his shirt and stands up, holding out his hand to help you up and lead you to the bathroom. "You really need to learn to knock!" He jokes, a face full of smiles.

You can't help but laugh at his adorable personality in contrast to his seductiveness earlier. It's going to be a fantastic year.

Send me suggestions on what to write next! ~ <3

--Masterlist--

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imnotjaesblog · 1 year

Text

To my First Love, my lilac this is my silent love letter to you- Mark Lee

Over 5k words.

Suggestive, Smut, Fluff & Slight Angst. Minors do not read!

I hope you enjoy my first short story here.

It was around eight when my father finally came out the basement. He had been there since he came home from work.

“How was work?” My mom asked him. My dad remained silent focusing on undoing his tie, taking it off he picked up his fork. “Fine” he chewed his food. Keeping his eyes on his plate. This was the first time he sat at the table with us in months. “Well that’s nice” my mother tried to save the conversation, but it only became more awkward. She placed down her fork and knife looking directly at my father who kept his eyes on his plate. “My boss was a real jerk today” she began, “He made me do so much more paperwork for a mess he created. I mean can you believe it?” She said frustrated. My father shrugged “That’s great” he said with a sigh like it was painful for him to care.

“Honey, are you even listening?” She asked him. She only knew the answer but couldn’t help herself. My father remained quiet only lasting about five more minutes at the table before he picked up his food and left for the basement. Small beats of silence passed before my mother spoke. “You can leave if you want to Y/n. You don’t have to stay” she said keeping her disappointed eyes on her plate. I decided to stay and finish my meal.

How did I get so lucky with you?” She asked. I shrugged “I guess I’m a miracle baby” she chuckled eating some of her dinners. “That you are” Laying awake in my bed as the rain poured outside my window I played with the hem of my blanket. I wonder what went wrong. Between my mother and father. They used to be so in love. My father always brought my mother her favorite flower every day when he came home from work. One lilac, just one. When they first met he was too poor to buy an entire boquete, so he brought her one flower for their first date. It became their thing. He still brings her a flower every day even though he could now afford hundreds of flowers, he still gave her one. She was his first love and he was hers. I wonder where it went wrong? Now the last flower he brought her was months ago. She tried to keep it alive but it had died.

As I lay awake I hear a tap on my window, looking up I see my boyfriend Mark. Shaking my head trying to keep my smile hidden I walk over to the window. Opening it I help Mark inside helping him remove his soaked, heavy jacket. “What are you doing here?” I ask as Mark takes off his sneakers placing them next to my desk. He shakes his head like a dog removing water from its fur. He looks up into my eyes. “I wanted to see you,” he said stepping closer to me and kissing my lips. I smiled into the kiss, kissing him back and placing my arms around his neck. Pulling him closer to me, walks us further into the room his hands sliding down from my breath to my waist. “Mhm, no bra?” He questioned going back to kissing me. Slightly pushing him off me I let him sit down at my desk.

I take my place right on his lap not caring about his wet jeans. Placing my legs over his he holds onto me so I don’t fall kissing me again. “I missed you,” he said. I chuckled looking deeply into his eyes. “You saw me a couple of hours ago” he shook his head holding onto my inner thigh. His hand traveled lower, I sucked in a breath. His fingers could feel the heat where I wanted him most. He pouted kissing my lips and holding onto me tightly. “It’s not enough. You know the summer is almost over. We don’t have much time together” he whispered against my neck leaving a trail of wet kisses. My smile slowly started to fade. Pushing him off lightly I looked into his brown eyes. I spent so much time making happy memories with Mark I’d forgotten that soon I’d have to let him go.

Once summer was over Mark was leaving off to college and so was I. He would be going to Stanford and I would be going to Harvard, all the way on the other side of the country. He and I had both assumed long distance wouldn’t work so we spent the time we had now together..“Let’s not talk about that now” I begin playing with his fingers that rested on my thigh. Lifting my face towards him I smile, “Let’s make good memories, eat good food and stay healthy so that you can visit me, okay?” I smiled. Mark smiled nodding his head and leaning in closer to me.

“Okay. Let’s take care of ourselves and enjoy this moment together” he leaned in and kissed me lifting me and holding me in his arms as he made his way to my bed. Laying me down he hovered over me. Leaning into my neck he kissed his way up to my lips. His fingers trailed along my stomach which was slightly exposed due to the thin layer of material of a tank top that once covered it. The tips of his fingers tickled causing me to chuckle. Mark chuckled as well laying his hand flat this time and kissing my lips. Lowering himself further down my body I leaned up on my elbows watching as he kissed down my stomach. Sneaking a glance at me I watched as he pulled my shorts down. I lifted my butt in the air so that he could easily pull down the shorts. Tossing them to the side he pulled my panties down as well.

Spreading my legs open for Mark I wasn’t even shy. I had done this for him so many times already that my mind and body weren’t cables of being shy around him. He’s seen me at my best and worst. Spreading my folds with his cool finger I moaned when he flicked his thumb over my clit. He smirked licking his lips at the sight of my dripping cunt. Leaning forward his wet tongue began to lick my clit as his fingers dance around my entrance. “Mark” I whined growing impatient. He chuckled leaning closer to me. “I’m sorry baby I’m just trying to make good memories”he flirted. “What kind of memories? Memories of eating me out?” I asked letting my elbows set me down on my back. He smiled, “That and I need something to think about when you’re away” I rolled my eyes smiling at the corny comment. I lightly kicked him with my foot. Mark leaned in sucking on my clit causing me to moan into my hand, still, the moan was loud. Mark removed one of his hands from my thigh holding it over my mouth. “Shh,” he said against my pussy immediately going back to sucking and playing with her. Once I finished I went to suck him off.

At first, he told me no that I didn’t have to, but agreeing to palm him through his jeans he was on board. Sucking off Mark was always enjoyable. I loved watching the way his face changed when I finally touched him or when I finally placed him in my mouth. The way his head fell back at the sight of me sucking him deep into my mouth. There was something so beautiful about watching a man completely crumble underneath me or above me. Watching Mark’s chest rise up and down made me think about riding him. He tapped my shoulder letting me know he was gonna cum. Pushing me off I licked my lips taking off my tank top. Pushing back into my bed I got on top of him. “Let me ride you” I whined. He quickly nodded taking off his shirt and placing me on top of his cock. He moved me up a bit to get a hold of his dick. However, the sensation felt too good.

Both of us let out a moan, my pussy jerking off his dick as his tip hit my clit. It was delicious. “Do it again” I said. He nodded gliding me against his cock and holding onto my waist. Silently moaning again I held over my mouth to not make a sound. Mark bit his lip gliding me over his cock again. “Go faster,” I said. Mark instantly started to move my hips faster. I moved with him jerking his cock as his tip hit my clit over and over.

“Fuck” he whispered watching my pussy slide off his dick. His mouth was a gape, his jaw slacked and his eyes trained on watching my pussy glide against his dick. I couldn’t help but watch either. My eyes wandered to his face. I nearly moaned out loud at the sight. As much as I wanted to fuck him right now, It felt too good to stop this. Why didn’t we try this before? Mark jerked me against him faster as he came all over his stomach. His abs puff in and out along with his chest. Sweat glistened on his forehead and body.

Looking up at me he watched my face as he continued to move my hips helping me finish too. Once I came all over his cock he moaned watching and helping to lift me off him. His dick glistened with both our juices in the moonlight. Grabbing a towel I wiped his stomach and he laid me down on my bed and wiped me clean.

The days flew by the end of summer was coming closer than I thought. Mark was such a good distraction from the world. He made every moment together so beautiful and so perfect. We spent days going on dates and whispering little nothings to each other at night wrapped in each other's arms. As much as I didn’t want to think about it, it was going to be hard to let him go. But I have to, both our futures depend on the decisions we make now. Mark considered rejecting Stanford at one point to follow me to Harvard. I told him he was out of his mind to reject his dream school and that he should focus on living a good life. I couldn’t stop him from following his dreams.

Mark had also told me he loved me the night he found out he had gotten accepted to Stanford, I told him I loved him back. A week later I got a letter from Stanford saying I was rejected, and a few more days later I had gotten my acceptance video from Harvard. Mark is my first love. I’ve never felt this way toward anyone before. Mark has only told me how much he loved me once. Other than that he doesn’t mention his feelings to me outside of saying ‘I love you’. Sometimes I wish he did, it’s nice to hear how the person you love feels about you even if you’ve heard the story thousands of times. I know I tell Mark the story the night I realized I loved him all the time because he always ask me to tell it. I don’t mind telling him the story, it makes me happy to know he cares just as much as I do about my feelings for him. As I lay awake at night again, I hear a tapping on my window. Smiling knowing exactly who it was I made my way over to the window. Opening it up I stepped aside for him to enter. However, he remains outside my window.

“Mark, what are you doing? It’s raining again tonight, come inside” I say moving my hand over my head to stop the raindrops from hitting my eyes. He sighs stepping inside but only remaining by the window. I walk further into my room assuming he’d follow but he doesn’t. “Why are you just standing there? You know you’re free to walk around my room” I said flopping in my bed. I pick up my remote. “Do you want to watch a movie? We can watch The Notebook” I wiggle my brows. Mark smiles for a moment but quickly brushes it away. Shaking his head he stands up straight and says.

“I want to break up” Looking away from my tv I look into his eyes.

“What?” I question.

“I want to. I want to break up” he says stuttering. He plays with his fingers his eyes avoiding mine. “Look the summer is almost over and you leave for college soon. We should rip the bandage off now before it hurts later on” I scoff sitting up on my bed and placing my remote down. “Is that really what you want?” I ask. He nods keeping his eyes away from mine.

I nod, “Okay” is all I say.

“I’m sorry” is all he says.

“Don’t be,” I begin. “Mark you know how I feel about love. I love it” I say. “Many things happen to a couple while in love. One of those things is to let the other go if it means they will be happy. I love you so much that if your leaving makes you happy then I will not stand in you’re way. If you think this will make you happy and months later you’ll come back hoping I’m available I want you to know that I will not be waiting for you,” I confess. “Love is not about waiting for the person to be ready. It’s about supporting them in the healthy decisions they choose that make them happy. If you are not happy with me then, I wish you happiness somewhere else” I say opening my window for him to leave.

I silently hoped he wouldn’t, that my profession of love would somehow make him stay. Make him realize this was a mistake. I wished he’d say something to me, anything at this point. All he did was stare at his fingers playing with his thumbs. I sighed growing impatient. I know he has a million things he wants to say, I just wished he’d say them. When the silence started to become unbearable I finally spoke.

“I think it’s best now if you go,” I say slightly annoyed. Mark nods stepping outside the window. Mark lets out a shakey breath his eye falling from mine. Climbing down the tree Mark was starting to regret his decision. The truth was he never wanted to break up. He wanted things to work out, he assumed this would just be easier for both of us. However he couldn’t voice how he felt, he never could. He always got too nervous to say how he felt. Afraid of judgment or something absurd. I would never judge Mark. I didn’t even judge him when he tried to play the flute for me months ago in an attempt to recreate a scene from a movie I loved. He was horrible but I still listened to every note he attempted to hit like it was the best song I had ever heard.

He climbed down the large tree disappearing into the night. I closed my window locking it. Throwing myself into bed I held back my tears picking up my remote I pressed play on the movie. My sadness was replaced with anger. He didn’t even fight for me. He just let me walk away. Holding my pillow I still couldn’t believe it. He didn’t fight at all all he said was

“I’m sorry” that was supposed to make me feel better I rolling my eyes and trying my best to focus on the movie.

Finally, the day had come and it was time to say goodbye. My mom rolled one of two of my suitcases into the trunk of her car. Placing it inside she took mine from my hands sliding the suitcase on top of the other. I put my carry-on inside the trunk, stepping aside so my mother could close the lid. Walking over to my friends I said goodbye sitting inside the car and letting my mom drive me to the airport.

“I'm gonna miss you," she beginning to drive down the neighborhood street. "But I'm also so proud of you. I know you're going to do great things in life, please don't make the same mistakes I did" She said looking over at me, giving me a small smile then turning back to the wheel. "Was dad a mistake?" I asked feeling the air in the car shift. She sighed shaking her head, "We were young when we had you, you know that," She smiled. "I think because we became parents so soon and my focus turned to you our romance died," She said.

“So it's my fault?" I said widening my eyes and slightly hurt. My mother quickly shook her head. "No of course not. What I mean is my life turned into your life and your father's as well. You became our lilac. You are the most important and best thing to happen to us I'm sure of that. What happens between me and your father is our relationship and has absolutely nothing to do with you. I just think he wished he didn't have to grow up so fast" She said truthfully. I nodded turning my head to look out the window and sighing to myself.

Small beats of silence passed before my mom spoke.”How's Mark doing?" she asked. I rolled my eyes lifting my head off my chin. "Mom I don't want to talk about him right now,” She nodded continuing to drive. "I know. I know. I just want to know how you're doing. How are you, honey?" My mom asked slightly worry in her tone.

I sighed placing my hoodie off my head. "I'm fine. This is for the better as he said. We’re gonna be living two completely different lives anyway,” "And that was easy for you, just to leave him," she said concerned for my feelings."I didn’t leave him he left me,” I said. "But are you happy? I know you love him and it's okay if it hurts" I huffed rolling my eyes. Why can't she just drop this? "It doesn’t matter what I feel right now mom. I just want to get to school and forget all about this” I lie. She shakes her head. She can read me like the back of her hand. She knows I’m lying but doesn’t press any further. “I’m surprised you didn’t get a boom box and stand outside his window” I chuckle at the idea, it’s how I asked him to prom.

Clearing my throat I washed away the memory turning on the radio. “Ohhh looks Y/n it’s you’re singing!” My mom said trying to lighten up the mood. She started dancing to the beat. I chuckled allowing her to be my distraction until we got to the airport. 1 year later"Y/n!" my friends called out to me from across campus. I jogged over to them holding onto my bookbag. Hugging each of them I smiled at their presents, they make college life just a little more simple. My friend

Emily placed her arm around me. "Since the semester is over we were wondering what you would be doing for the holiday" She leaned closer to my ear using her eyes to point to the boy in front of me. “Maybe you could be doing Jeno,” she said wiggling her eyebrows. I pushed her off pretending like I was going to hit her. “Stop it,” I say causing her to smirk. “I heard he’s gonna be staying out in Boston. I also heard he has a thing for you" She said sipping her iced coffee.

“The worst kept secret in the world," I said smiling sneaking a glance at the boy who was already looking my way. He quickly turned his head looking up at the sky. I turned away as well. Emily squealed beside me handing me a cup of coffee. “He’s totally into you,” she said. I rolled my eyes as the group started to walk away from where we were standing and down a path. Emily stood beside me linking her arm with mine. As we walked she stopped dead in her path. “What?” I asked concerned checking to see if there was a bug or maybe one of the many lovers I had to hide her from.

“You didn’t answer my question”

“I’m not doing Jeno”

She shook her head, “No the other one”

I tapped my chin thinking of another questioned she asked me. “Well earlier who asked me if Johnny was single”

“Oh yea I did, is he?” She ask holding my arm.

I nodded my head, “Yea but I think he has a thing for Sam” I said.

She frowned in defeat. “Damn. How about TY?”

I thought about it for a moment. “He should be. I haven’t seen him with anyone”

she nodded “Nice you should set me up with him” I chuckled.

I can’t even count how many guys I’ve set her up with this past year. It’s also how we met. Last year on the first day of class she saw me sit next to our now-friend Jamal. She was very attracted to Jamal and like the secret Cupid I am I helped her out. He ended up having a girlfriend that we didn’t know about, but in the end, we ended up getting a friendship out of it so that’s even better. She stopped again.

“What now?” I question. "What are you doing for the holidays? Going back home? Staying here?" She asked. I thought about it for a moment. My mom said it would be okay if I stood in Boston if I wanted to but I already stood out in Boston last year and went to see her during spring break. That was around the same time I saw Mark at the grocery store with his brother. Nothing was ever more awkward than his brother trying to make small talk between us. However, I know it would hurt her if I didn't show "I think I'm gonna go home. I haven't seen my family in a while" My friend nodded her head understanding. "I get it. We'll miss you" she said hugging me. I pushed her off,

“Wait" she raised a brow. "What?" she asked."Why don't you guys come with me? My mom will love the company" my friend smiled a bright smile. "Really? she would be okay with that?" She asked almost slipping her drink. I nodded, "She should be. I'll call her" I said. Making my way back to my friends I went to tell them the news but before I could speak my phone dinged.

217- 588-8662- How are you?

I immediately recognized the number.

“You okay?" my friend asked as I stared at my phone. Lifting my head I nodded. "I'm fine" shutting off my phone I caught up with my friends. Three days later. My mom opened the door with wide arms and a big smile for me and my friends. Wearing an apron and gloves she welcomed us all in. She hugged me and my friend group. "It's so nice to meet you all. Are you all hungry?" she asked. “Yes!" they responded in unison. She smiled seating everyone at the dining table.

I walked over joining my friends. Jeno helped me place everyone’s suitcase in different rooms in the house. He placed the guys downstairs in the basement and helped me carry the girl's suitcases to my bedroom. As we brought the last bag up I slipped.

Jeno quick on his feet helped me up off the wooden step I fell on. “Are you okay?” He asked holding out his hand for me to take. I chuckled letting him help me up. “I’m fine” I respond. He pulls me up a little hard causing me to bump into his hard chest. Holding me close we both stare into each other eyes. Just as he was about to speak the doorbell rings. I pushed him off me and ran downstairs. My mom went to open the front door but I stopped her from opening it myself. Walking over to the door I opened it revealing, "Mark?" I said both our eyes widened. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

He cleared his throat. "Your mom invited me," he said keeping his eyes locked on mine. I couldn't believe it. Why would she invite him here knowing I was coming? As time went by I remained at the front door holding it open in surprise. My mom came to the door allowing Mark to step inside. "Go ahead and sit down make yourself comfortable," she said to him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, "I don't want things to be weird" he says politely.

“They already are," I say under my breath. My mom nudged me, "Stop it" she turned back to Mark, "It's not weird. Go sit down make yourself comfortable" Mark nodded walking inside and sitting down at the table."Mom why?" I asked.

She sighed. "He's going through a lot right now okay"

"So you invite him here to our house while I'm here! He's my ex! Why would you invite him? And what does that have to do with me!” I whisper yell. She huffs turning us around so we could face the front door. "Look I didn't want to air out his business but you need context. His dad lost his job so they can't afford tuition. He's going to a community college out here for now and he's been helping your dad in the basement with that old car" She sighed. "His parents are fighting a lot so sometimes I invite him over for dinner, I had already invited him for Christmas before I knew you were coming. Besides," she flicked my forehead.

“Ow!" I whined.

“You were supposed to come tomorrow," She said. I rubbed my forehead, "I'm sorry they changed our flight" I said. "Be nice" She whispered into my ear walking away. She sat back down at the table. I followed behind her making my way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"Wow, this table hasn't been filled with people in years. I'm so happy Y/n invited you all for the holidays, truly. I hope you enjoy you're staying here" she said smiling I could hear the excitement in her voice watching everyone enjoy their meals. Maybe it's good Mark comes over for dinner when I'm not here, she can probably use the company. I sigh to myself sipping my water. I had no idea he dropped out of Standford.

Looking over at the dining table my eyes found Mark sitting next to Johnny. The two were talking to one another as more of my friends joined in. He fit in so well with our group, looking at him at the table felt right. Maybe he needed this, maybe he needed friends. Maybe I should be nicer to him, who knows what he's going through. Walking back to the table Jaemin spoke up, "If you keep cooking like this, I won't ever leave" he said to my mom who blushed. We all chuckled at his comment.

I sat back down at the table across from Mark, we awkwardly shared a glance before I turned to the rest of the table trying to figure out what part of the story Sam was telling. Throughout the story, I could see through the corner of my eye the glances Mark made toward me. Brushing them off I focused on the conversation."Woah I love your room," My friend Emily said walking inside and touching the lights that dangled on my wall. Jaemin walked over to my bed picking up a brown bear.

“Aww," he said holding it up. "Who is this?" he asked holding the bear. I walked over took it from his hands placing it on my bed. "It's my mom's. My dad gave it to her back in the 90s when they went to some amusement park. It was the only prize he won her. Well, he paid the guy to give it to him but my mom doesn't know that" We both chuckled at the short but cute story. Turning away I watched as Emily entered followed by our friend group, Mark stood by the door. As they walked inside my friends looked at my pictures and artwork on my wall. Jeno chuckled seeing a baby photo of me on my dresser. Walking over to him I blushed slightly embarrassed he found such a young photo of me, then again it was on my dresser where everyone could see so I can't be too shocked by the discovery.

"You look so young," he says holding the frame. "You look so cute," He said smiling at the photo. I smiled at him looking down at the photo. "You think I'm cute?" I flirted. He lifted his head looking into my eyes, "I do" he said his eyes looking into mine then turning to pick up another photo. My eyes traveled beyond the photo in his hands to the other side of the room.

I watched as my friend Sam placed her hand on Mark's shoulder. He jumped caught off guard by the closeness. She flipped her hair back and laughed at something he said. His chest erupted in small chuckles as the two flirted standing at the front of my door. "Why don't you come inside?" she asked. Such an innocent question, but for Sam it had a double meaning. Sam wasn't one to strive away from a casual hookup, but she had a type and was a lot pickier than Emily. The only thing Emily wanted was someone clean and attractive, age didn't matter unless they were under eighteen. She didn't need to get to know you or go out on a date, if you were down she was down.

Unlike Sam who liked guys like Mark. She liked to mess with them and tease them just to watch them fall apart. Sam was the kind of girl who got you in trouble, who you'd fall in love with and she'd break you're heart because she wasn't ready for love. It's why she always refuses Johnny. However I couldn't get mad at Sam for being so touchy with Mark, she didn't know he was my ex. I had enough trust to know that if she did she would have left him alone.

Mark's eyes made their way to mine. I quickly turned around facing Jeno again talking about the baby photo. Jeno continued to talk about how cute I looked as a baby and I answered his questions with one-word responses. I couldn't help but look back at Mark and Samantha. My face started to heat up and an annoyed feeling floated around in my stomach. Why was I so bothered? Mark and I broke up a year ago, I should be flirting with Jeno or even Jaemin. Why was my mind so occupied with Mark? Maybe it's because I haven't seen him in a while and all those feelings I hid away were slowly starting to rise.

Later that night."Okay Y/n," Emily said walking over to me and sitting down beside me on my rug. "Sam just went into the shower" I nodded my head confused. "Uh okay? Why are you telling me this?" She stared blankly at me like I was supposed to know why. She huffed after I didn't speak for a couple of seconds. “What's up with the Mark guy? You've been staring at him all night" she said crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you like him?" she raised her brow smirking. I scoffed, "I thought you wanted me with Jeno?" She rolled her eyes letting her arms fall. "I want you with whoever makes you happy. So who's the Mark guy?" she asked again.

I sighed telling her. "He's my ex. We broke up before we started school" I confessed. She leaned back nodding her head. "Now it makes sense, why he stood outside you're room," She said. "You still like him?" she asked. I widened my eyes shaking my head answering rather quickly, "No!" I said nervously. "I don't" she lightly kicked me with her foot. "Ow!" You do like him!" she said. "You better hurry up and get him" Why?" I asked. "Because Sam has been after him the whole night" I shrugged turning away. "So? he's my ex. Besides Jeno is right downstairs. I could go see him if I wanted to" I said trying to hide my irritation.

She rolled her eyes, "First off we both know you don't like him, and second of all If you go downstairs to see Jeno, you'll see Mark" I widened my eyes turning to face her again. "He's here?!" she nodded why does everyone know what's happening in this house except for me? "You're mom let him stay. The boys have taken a liking to him, so I'm sure they're hanging out" I got up off the rug putting on my slippers.

I walked towards my door grabbing the knob. "Where are you going?" Emily asked sarcastically already chuckling. "The basement" I responded my back still turned, opening the door. "You better hurry the water just turned off!" she shouted laughing as she heard me pick up my pace.

“That's my girl" she whispered to herself proud she was somehow able to convince me to go to the basement. I opened the basement door hearing laughter from the couch. Walking down the stairs all the boys turned their attention to me. "Hey Y/n," my friend Jamal said. "Do you want to join us?" I shook my head. "No, I need to speak to Mark," The two boys Oooed except for Mark and Jeno. Mark stood up walking over to me. We walked up the stairs leading him to the back door I stepped outside and he followed."Look if you want me to leave I will, you don't have to embarrass me-" he began to say. I shook my head.

“I'm not trying to embarrass you. I'm just curious as to why you're here" I said folding my arms over my chest. He sighed, " I don't want to talk about it right now," he said turning his head away and looking towards the ground. I sighed cold air leaving my lips, classic. We stood in silence for amount before Mark walked towards me. He took off his hoodie stepping closer to me. I stepped back, "What are you doing?" I asked. He handed me the hoodie exposing his arms. "It's freezing out here," He said holding his green hoodie out. "Put this on" I hesitantly took it from his hands deciding not to debate with him. Pulling the hoodie over my head we both stood again awkwardly.

Small beats of silence passed before Mark spoke again. “I think that Jeno guy likes you," Mark said to make conversation. I chuckled. "You and everyone else" I kicked my foot in the snow. He looked at me, and my eyes wandered every else but to his, watching the snow fall on the grass. Mark's eyes stood in the same spot they are now. "If you know he likes you then why not give him a chance?" he asked. Because I don't like him the way I like you I say in my head. Instead of saying the truth I shrug, "He's not my type," I say.

Mark steps closer tilting his head to the side his eyes never leaving me. "Oh, yea? What is your type" he says coming increasingly closer. I quickly glance at him slightly panicking with how close he was getting to me. I step back slowly tripping over my own feet. I reach out to the railing slightly turning my body away from him.

I shrug again, "I don't know, not him"Mark chuckles standing beside me. "Are you warm?" he says lower so only my ears can hear. I nod feeling his breath on my neck causing the little hairs to rise. "Are you cold?" I ask seeing him still in a t-shirt and jeans. He shakes his head, "I'm okay, I'm just making sure you are" he lied. I slowly start to turn my head looking into his eyes. Mark's lips are inches away from mine. He lets out a breath, I don't even watch the cold air fade away from his lips. He slowly starts to lean in and I don't turn away. Closing his eyes I close mine as well and let him kiss me. I place my hands behind his head and he places his hands around my waist deepening the kiss on my back porch. He holds me closer pressing his front against mine and kissing down my neck he uses his breath to warm up my skin sending shivers down my whole body.

Just as the kiss continues to get heated the back door swings open revealing Johnny and the rest of my friends. I quickly jump away from Mark fixing my hair and clothes. Emily comes out from behind Jamal and Sam follows behind her. "What are you guys doing out on the porch?" Johnny asks suspiciously.

"Just talking" I answer smoothing out my clothes and wiping my lips. Everyone seems to buy it including Johnny. Nodding his head he turns to the unlit fireplace. "Porch party?" he questioned. Everyone nods in agreement gathering chairs and beer as Emily walks over to set up the bonfire. Looking over at Mark my eyes meet his. He was already looking at me. Letting myself walk away to help Jaemin with the chairs I turn to see Sam glancing at the both of us and walking in Mark's direction.

I walked towards my bedroom door smelling my mom's bacon through the walls. "I should probably go thank him," I say taking the box off my nightstand and allowing Sam to place the locket back inside. Sam nods, "You should it's so pretty and while you're down there can you check if Mark is there, I have to talk to him" I look over at Emily who shakes her head. I look back at Sam, "Uh sure" she smiles standing up from my bed. "Great" she walks over to me and hugs me "Merry Christmas Y/n" then she makes her way to the bathroom. I look at Emily again who just shoes me away. I chuckle walking out my bedroom door.

On the way there I bump into Mark. "Oh sorry," we both say in unison. He's holding a towel in his hand and a toothbrush. "You can go first if you want," he said motioning towards the bathroom door. I shook my head. "It's okay I don't need it" There was a moment of silence. Why is every time we're alone together I act so weird like I can't form a clear sentence in my head. Deciding to escape this discomfort I chose to speak up. "Do you know where Jeno is?" I ask. Mark's large eyes meet mine. "He's helping your mom," he says. "Thank you," I say walking away however before I get far enough Mark clears his throat to stop me. "Merry Christmas Y/n," he says. "Merry Christmas Mark," I respond then turn and walk away. Walking outside I examined the front yard for Jeno.

Finally finding him helping my mom, move boxes into the basement. I start making my way over to them. "Hey Jeno," I wave him down. "Can I talk to you?" I ask. He nods smiling handing the heavy box over to Johnny who gladly takes it. He jogs over to me following me up the small hill. We start to walk further away to the opposite side of the front yard. “What's up?" he asks squinting his eyes from the sun. I sighed, This was gonna be hard. I didn't want to lose Jeno as a friend, he's a nice guy. I hope of lack of feelings for him isn't enough for him to end our friendship. "First off I want to say thank you for the necklace, it was really pretty," I say. Jeno nods putting his hands on his hips his sweater blowing in the morning breeze. He was still wearing his jogging outfit. His hair was stuck to his forehead and he let out deep breaths, probably tired from running and lifting all those boxes.

"I'm glad you liked it. Sam said you would" I nodded kicking a nearby pebble. "About that...I think it's pretty I do and I'm grateful for it, I just can't wear it" He crosses his arms over his chest. "How come?" He widens his eyes letting his arms fall "Is it too big?" he asks. I shake my head, "No I'm allergic to gold" He frowns letting his head all in disappointment. "I'm sorry I didn't know" I shake my head touching his arm. He lifts his head looking into my eyes. "It's okay," I smile. "Jeno I need to tell you something"

He stands up straight letting his arm relax under my touch. "Yea what's up?" he says. I sigh, I hope this goes well. "I like you, I do but not in the way you like me. I'm sorry if you feel like I led you on, but I think you should pursue someone who likes you the way you like me" I say hoping he doesn't get offended and walk away. Jeno nods his head understanding. "I get it. Thank you for being honest with me" he says, holding out his hand. I take his hand shaking it, we both look into each other's eyes and smile. "Thank you," I say. He nods, "Let's go back to the others, it's time to go" I nod walking with him to the car. Everyone had packed their things in my mom's trunk as well as the rental we had for our trip here. Johnny sat inside the rental car with Sam, Jaemin Jamal, and Jeno.

I sat next to my mom in the passenger seat as Emily sat in the back. Taking off to the airport my mom and Emily filled the car with conversation. Sam had blabbed to my mom about the necklace Jeno gave me. “I thought it was Jeno," she said surprised. "The boy with the blue hair right? I thought so too" My mom said. "It's very obvious he likes her," She said smirking. "And he's cute" she pointed out to Emily who just nodded her head. I shook my head, "He got me a gold necklace" I said. "He got you a gold necklace?" You're allergic," my mom said. I nodded "Yea, but he didn't know so I'm not mad. It was a little weird though. It felt like when you're boyfriend leaves a surprise for you so you can see it when you wake up" I say causing Emily to chuckle. "It was pretty tough, but not you're style," She said. I nodded, "Yea but at least he thought of me" My mom nodded agreeing with me. "It's always the thought that counts" I nodded turning away and looking towards the car window.

For the rest of the car ride, I remained looking out the window as Emily and my mom talked. My mind elsewhere only focusing on one person, Mark. A part of me wanted to turn around and talk to Mark and find out why. Why was he avoiding me so much? Why couldn't just tell me how he felt? It would make it so much easier to move on if he just opened up to me or maybe it would make me fall more in love with him. Maybe it's better if I never know. Maybe I should just go back to Boston and start a new life. No one takes me seriously anyway. "Y/N you're too nice, people will take advantage of you" or "Y/n love is stupid, it doesn't exist so stop forcing you're stupid narratives on us" Why do I have to have so many emotions? Why did I have to love and care for anything that lives? Why couldn't I just turn off my feelings like Sam or keep them hidden like Mark? Why did I have to be so weak all because I think love is special? Love is what brings people and creates families. Love is poured into everything, from art to lovers. Passion, hope, joy, and love why have I been deemed a fool for believing that everyone deserved love and romance? Everybody deserves somebody to love, everyone deserves a first love. That one big one you never forget, I will never forget Mark even if I have to let him go. Once we got to the airport we waited to board our flight.

Sam patted her jeans her eyes widening in fear. "My AirPods! I think I left them on the bench" She said. "You better go get them," Jamal said. Johnny nodded handing Jeno his bag. "I'll go with you" I shook my head, "It's okay I'll go, I want to use the bathroom," I said Johnny nodded taking his bag back. "Be back soon we leave in fifteen minutes" Jeno said. I nodded, "We should be back before then" I walked over to Sam as we walked off to find her AirPods. After ten minutes and a bathroom break, she found them underneath the bench. She sighed in relief "Thank you, Lord," she said placing them back in her bag. "Let's go we have three minutes left" I nodded following behind her.

"Wait!" I froze in my tracks. Sam stopped jogging off noticing I wasn't next to her. She squinted her eyes to see why I stopped. I turned around facing Mark who stood a couple of feet away from me. He walked towards me. I couldn't believe he was here right now. I couldn't move, my body was telling me to run up to Sam and catch my flight but my heart told me to stay right where I was. My heart wanted to hear him."Y/n..." he trailed. "You stopped," he said in slight disbelief that I didn't take off running. I couldn't my legs wouldn't let me. Sam walked over leaning closer to me "Y/n we only have two minutes left, we're gonna miss the flight" she said. I nodded slightly turning to her, "Just go ahead with put me I'll be there" She looked at me, and then Mark took off to the rest of the group.

“Whatever you have to say to me say it now. I have a plane to catch" I said crossing my arms over my chest and looking away from him. I hurt to treat him this way but I couldn't let him play with my heart anymore. I watched as he quickly scrambled around in his pockets pulling out a crumbled piece of looseleaf paper. Clearing his throat he spoke the words on the paper or at least tried to. “Y/n I want to start by saying that...that I um..." I tapped my foot eager for him to finish his sentence. Mark began sweating and speaking over his words. He huffed "Skrew this" I looked over at him as he ripped the paper up into pieces looking into my eyes. "Y/n you mean everything to me and I'm sorry," he said.

I scoffed, "That's it? We haven't seen or spoken to each other in over a year and all you have to say is that? I mean seriously you've been avoiding me since you kissed me and now you running to the airport to catch me just before I leave? What are you trying to pull here? I ask offended by his words. He wasn't being honest with me at all. It hurt that even now he wouldn't fight me. He sighed starting to walk away. I scoffed again shaking my head in disbelief. "You're unbelievable," I say walking away. I feel a hand around my arm turning me around. Mark had stopped once he heard me complain again about his lack of expression. His face had changed from defeat to frustration.

“I'm unbelievable? You're unbelievable! I don't know how to please you Y/n! It seems that everything I say or don't say is just another reason for you to walk away" I scoffed, "Oh so you're aware?" he gruffs, "See! See this is what I'm talking about. I'm doing my best to be perfect for you because I want to be with you. I care about you Y/n, you just make it so difficult to please you!" I rib my arm away from him stomping my foot on the ground. "I make it difficult? Mark all I've wanted you to do this whole time is open up to me. Talk to me! That's all I ever wanted and if you can't have a conversation with me if it's so "difficult" like you say then maybe we shouldn't be together" I said my chest heaving up and down. I was angry beyond the hills. How could he stand here and say that I was being difficult? I've made it easy for him. Always share and be honest with how I feel so he would feel comfortable talking to me. The tears that slipped out of my eyes began to burn my cheeks. I harshly wiped them away.

Mark sighed letting his head fall. "I was scared. Scared that I wasn't good enough for you. I mean look at you, you're so kind and open. Everywhere you go you make friends and people instantly like you. You're so good to me, you understand me and you see me. It makes me nervous and when you come close to me I sweat like a madman. I'm scared of losing you, I'm scared of you hating me, I'm scared you won't like me," He paused staring directly into my eyes. Shaking his head and taking my hands he began again." I don't care how it sounds you mean everything to me. After everything that's been happening in my life all my mind can wander to is you. Has Y/n eaten yet? Is she doing well? I hope she's taking care of herself. I hope she's finally found that love she is so desperately searching for" He said taking a moment to breathe. "Look Y/n I love you and I'm sorry I can't be the guy imagery guy you think about every night but I'm trying my best here" he pleaded.

“Mark..." I croaked feeling more tears form at the corner of my eyes. It felt like we were back in my bedroom fighting and loving like we always did. I didn't hear the people around us. I didn't hear nor notice my friends running over to get me and stop when they saw Mark. My attention only remained on Mark. The world stop moving for us at this moment. Time moved slowly as we poured our hearts out to each other and even though it was happening at an airport I was happy and grateful Mark was finally being honest with me. I think I should be honest with him."Ever since I was young and would hear about the stories between my mother and my father I dreamed of finding love like that. I wanted to be the girl whose lover ran home to her every night with a flower in his hand because he couldn't afford the bouquet. I wanted to be the girl who was loved regardless of the mistakes she made. I wanted to be loved for everything I have and for everything I gave. I wanted to be loved by someone who felt like a dream but still had flaws and imperfections because love isn't about being perfect and that's why I loved the idea of love so much. I envied my parent's relationship because up until this point my dad has loved my mother and my mother has loved my father. She still leaves small nothings for him under the tree and every day he leaves a lilac next to her nightstand and disappears into the basement. She just doesn't know because I take them. He figured she was throwing them away because they were always missing so he stopped and it's my fault" I cried. “Why are you telling me this?" Mark asked.

“Because he is her first love and you are mine" I confessed. "You are my lilac. You keep coming back into my life and I somehow make my way into yours. I think about you too every night and day. Is Mark okay? I hope he's studying well. I hope he's made a lot of friends" I confess more tears falling from my cheeks.

Mark wipes a few away with the pads of his fingers."Y/n I hate to break this up but we're gonna miss the flight," Emily says apologetically. Mark just looks into my eyes watching mine closely. I start to slip away from Mark's grasp letting his arms fall. As I start to turn away Mark grabs ahold of my arms pulling me into a kiss. He holds me close to him, holding the back of my head. Then he lets me go and I can't tell if this kiss is a goodbye or see you later.1 year later

"Y/N!!!" My friend shouted from the other side of our apartment. "What?" I asked as she walked into the room holding up crumbled wrapping paper. Her hair was a mess and she was sweating like a dog. I stood from my seat Emily stood up as well across from me. "What happened to you?" I asked. "Did you get into a fight with an elf?" Emily asked.

Sam huffed flopping on the couch letting the paper fall. "I've never wrapped a Christmas present before. I usually just place it in a pretty bag with pretty tissue paper then write on a pretty card" She whined annoyed with her lack of experience wrapping a gift. I walked over to her throwing away the useless paper. "Do you want help?" I asked she nodded. "Okay, I have to wrap Mark's gifts anyway so let's go," I said taking her hand. Emily followed us into Sam's room holding a pen and a pair of scissors.

"Who's the gift for anyway?" Emily asked.

"Johnny," Sam responded. Me and Emily both Oooed walking into her bedroom teasing Sam.

As we walk towards her room my phone rings, I smile at the contact.

"When are you gonna come visit me?" I ask Mark on the other side of my phone. He had recently moved to New York to work on becoming a writer. "I heard the weather is nice in Boston during this time" we both chuckle. "But I know my baby loves romance so why not Christmas in New York? You can't get any more romantic than that" I chuckle nodding my head.

“That is true, no one does Christmas like New York," I say. “I'll see what I can do," I say before hanging up the phone.

“Emily!" I shout from across the living room. "What?" she shouts back.

“I'm going to New York.." I waited until I spoke again. “Wanna come?"

Almost instantly I heard her footsteps running towards her bedroom door. Running into the living room holding onto her bag.

“Do I?" she questioned me like I was already supposed to know. I chuckled "Christmas in New York sounds good doesn't it?" I asked smiling. She picked up her phone

“I'm gonna call the whole gang" she said running off probably to back. I laughed shaking my head and walked to get my laptop.

On the plane to New York, I felt my phone buzz, picking it up I almost cried. Holding my hands to my mouth my dad's name appeared on my Lock Screen.

Dad- Merry Christmas

*Insert picture of Lilac*

Another text that came in.

Mom- I finally got them.

She wrote.

Y/n- It's so pretty.

Mom- I know right? Also, you're dad fixed our old car, you know it's the car we went to all of our dates in. You were made in that car.

Y/n- Ew mom.

Mom- What it's true! Anyways he and Mark did a good job. Have a safe flight, I love you.

Y/n- It does look good and Love you too.

I switched messages opening up mine and Mark's.

You- You told him?

…

Mark- Someone has to keep the romance alive.

———

“Merry Christmas," We all said in unison as we walked into Mark's small apartment. A small Christmas tree sat in the corner fully decorated with a star at the top. Candles were placed around the apartment as well as small decorations of snowflakes and elves. I walked over to Mark kissing his lips.

"Merry Christmas," He said against my lips.

“Merry Christmas" I responded kissing him again. We kissed for a while longer until Mark pushed off walking to the small desk next to the couch.

“I almost forgot," He said handing me a box. "Merry Christmas," he said. I opened the box and took out a silver key picking up the small note inside. My first love. We fell in love, despite our differences, and something rare and beautiful was created. I was awed.

“You copied that from the Notebook" He smiled taking me in his arms. “Someone has to keep the romance alive," He said kissing me again as the snow fell outside.

Fin

Hope you enjoyed my first ever short story on here. This is also my first Nct short story so I hope you enjoyed. Thank you for reading. Stay safe!

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

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helloooooo first, i love ur writing so much it brings me so much joy and shdnbxjxbs they r so wonderful

May i request like lesso x drunk reader where reader turns clingy when drunk. Lesso's busy doing work in her office and reader just barges in, drunk and crying cuz she missed lesso even though they were just together earlier. Reader just cries while she tells lesso how much she love her and how lucky she is to have her and Lesso's just fond of her enjoying how drunk reader is. Lesso then takes care of drunk reader and they sleep together cuddling. I just want fluff rn and im a bit drunk too ansnxd I miss lesso so much i love her sjnsnxkxs

- 🦝

Hello my lovely 🦝anon <3 I’m so happy you enjoy my writing.

Drunk words are sober thoughts

*Authors note~ I have very little experience of being drunk but I imagine I'd be quite the emotional drunk just like reader In this. I hope I can do your first request some justice love*

Trigger warnings~ drunk reader

Prompt~see ask^^^^

You knew this was going to haunt you in the morning. Yet right now you couldn't seem to make yourself care. You sat with a bottle of vodka watching the night sky, you had been with other Never professors yet they had all bailed on you, choosing caution over a hang over in the morning. Truthfully, you should've stopped drinking ages ago, yet the fuzzy blissful feeling the alcohol created was too addictive. So that's how you found yourself two sheets to the wind, watching the night sky. The alcohol had warmed you so much that the bite of the cold night simply didn't bother you. No what made you stumble inside was the overwhelming need and desire to see the object of your love.

You immediately stumbled your way through the school building, falling up more stairs than you cared to admit, just to find your crush. As soon as you spotted the familiar office your emotions seemed to go hey wire. Being driven by such a powerful need you threw her door open not caring about the slamming sound. The older women was sat at her desk working on a stack of papers before you barged into her office gaining her attention.

As soon as you set your gaze on her the tears started to fall. You truly missed her so much it made your heart ache. Had you just seen her hours earlier? Yes, you had but here and now you realised just how much you missed her presence. Rationally that didn't make much sense but to your drunk self it made more than enough sense.

"Darling? Are you quite alright?" She murmured coming up to hug your crying form. You just snuggled and buried your nose into her neck breathing in her scent. She let you stay there for a few moments before guiding you back to her desk and letting you sit on her lap, a hand gently rubbing at your back. The alcohol was obvious, but the tears not so much. You would talk when you were calmer though and she knew that.

After a while of sitting in silence, her hand rubbing at your back as you cried into the crook of her neck you mumbled, "missed lesso" so quietly she almost missed it. "Darling you saw me just a few hours ago, aren't you just an adorable little thing" she murmured to you hoping to soothe your tears, "I'm here now your with me and safe okay?" To which you nodded more into her neck. Then out of nowhere where so much certainty it was almost shocking you pulled back and stated, "I love you" her tone leaving no room for any arguments, "And I know how lucky I am to love you, to be this close to you, to be liked by you. I'm lucky to know the real you and that just makes me so emotional. I want to be yours but I know you don't want to be mine and that's why I'm crying."

Leonora sat there in shock, you loved her? How could you truly love someone that was evil. If the saying was true then you did, after all it was said that drunk words were sober thoughts. Throwing caution to the wind she whispered back that she loved you too and desired for you to be hers and hers only. That seemed to stun you a little, confusion lingered in your eyes. "But you're so hot" you stated as if it was the most obvious reason as to why this couldn't be real. She chuckled at you, "oh is that right? I had no idea you felt that way darling" she purred at you watching as you started to ramble and slur your words.

"Youz hots and sects and kind and mommys and luvs lesso my wife's" you slurred trying to explain just how you felt but the alcohol was now taking over a hold on your brain. "Mmm blurrruyyyy" you murmured sounding fascinated as your eyes darted around the room, "lesssooii I see soundsss." She couldn't help but chuckle at you, how could someone be so adorable absolutely drunk out of their mind? "Come darling, I think it's time we get you to bed isn't it dove?" She murmured scooping you up in her arms to carry you to her bed.

You settled down snuggling into the women as she magicked clothes from both your forms and placed baggy t-shirts on you both. "Darling I really hope you remember this in the morning" she pondered out loud causing you to giggle manically, "I memeverr " before falling into a drunken slumber. Lesso just laid with you enjoying how you nuzzled closer to her, unintentionally seeking out her for comfort.

Word count ~ 960

#fanfic #lady lesso #anon answered #sfgae #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #lady lesso x you #lesso x reader #leonora lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #dean of evil #anon requested #🦝 anon

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sophieinwonderland · 10 months

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I have a question for willogenic/tulpagenic or systems that create their headmates.

Why would you? Why would you want someone else in your head and take control of your body? What motive could drive someone to actively do that and create more?

I also want to ask if they really feel how horrible it is to have arguments or headmates hurt you because they can create their own as they please.

Also if they experience the bad symptoms of being plural and not just the "fun" part such as dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, identity crisis, etc.

I do not ask any of these questions with the desire to bother, I genuinely want to know and it is a question that keeps me alert.

Often, people drawn to the tulpamancy community are those with ASD, anxiety or other disorders that leave them feeling alone.

I was an accident, technically. At least, my host didn't plan on making a sentient being. But for others, it's not hard to see why they would be drawn to the practice. My own host had a good home life with a really supportive family, but has difficulty interacting with external people, which could be isolating.

I also want to ask if they really feel how horrible it is to have arguments or headmates hurt you because they can create their own as they please.

Arguments happen. We had a couple really bad ones early on. But... our system was created differently and that affects how we view each other.

A person, any person, is going to be reflecting what they learn from the world. We're all products of our environments.

A lot of headmates formed by trauma. They... come into the world experiencing its worst parts.

The system grows up maybe hearing the voices of their headmates but shutting them out. They don't have access to plural resources and feel like they're going crazy. Aggression can be taken out on headmates because the headmates aren't even seen as real, and abused children often don't have good role models for positive relationships.

By the time you find out that you're plural, a lot of harm has been done to the system and their relationships with each other. Building back trust can take time for these systems. It's tragic.

...

That's not how it was for us. Again, I wasn't made intentionally. I was just the imaginary friend. So there was a bit of denial, but I denied my own emotions too. And it took only a couple months for us to discover the tulpa community and realize I was a real person.

By the time of my creation, my host was an adult who had a solid understanding of how healthy relationships work. We could communicate our problems as they came out. We might argue one night, but then we made an effort to sit down and talk our problems out until they were resolved as soon as we could. I sometimes wish that I could have been here from the beginning, but I suspect that it's best for our relationship that I wasn't.

He already cared about me and wanted me to be happy. He enjoyed seeing me learn and grow, and interact with the world. I'm incredibly lucky to have had him in my life.

I would never hurt my host, and he would never hurt me. (At least, not intentionally.)

And me getting front time was a gift. It was something he provided when I wanted to do things in the real world because he wanted me to be happy, and loved seeing me happy.

Also if they experience the bad symptoms of being plural and not just the "fun" part such as dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, identity crisis, etc.

Yes and no.

I think some of these symptoms exist, but are more mild. (Technically, all switching is considered dissociative.) We had some days when we fell into doubt spirals that were miserable. The worst lasted hours, but never more than a day. We've had mornings waking up, not knowing who is in front immediately, which I think is a form of depersonalization, but it only lasted minutes.

There's no amnesia unless you intentionally build it up. There might be "speed bumps" where memories of some headmates are easier to access by them than other headmates. And there have been times when non-fronters have a much harder time accessing information the fronter knows. Something about fronting makes information more accessible.

But by and large, a lot of these symptoms of DID are symptoms of PTSD. While we might experience lesser versions of some of these, they don't have much of an impact on our lives.

And the few negatives are outweighed by the advantages of having an internal support network to prop each other up.

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bestfriend491 · 11 months

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hi! currently reading all your okoye fics and they’re all so good 😭🙏 she’s always been my fave ever since the first black panther so i’m glad i found ur writing 🥹 if ur still taking requests, how about aneka/ayo where one of them gets jealous but she’s still denying her feelings and thinks it would be “weird” to fall for their co-worker 😩 i hc aneka as the more vocal one in the relationship so i think it’s also interesting to see if ayo was the one in denial. i’m okay w anyone tho and only if u like the prompt. thank u! 💗

My Adored One

Aneka x Ayo

Summary: Not even the fiercest of warriors can deny love.

Author's Note: I actually like this one. So I'm gonna need you all to pretend that this is their Debut story from me, because Jurisdiction is possibly my least favourite work ever and I'd like to forget about it's existence.

Word Count: 3.5k

Light Angst, Happy Ending

Warnings: Very Minor Injury (brief mentioning of blood)

If anyone were to ever ask Aneka about Ayo, they’d probably get a loaded answer.

She’d let herself grin from ear to ear thinking about the woman. Trying to find the best way to describe her.

“Ayo is…” she’d stop just as she thought she got the right words, wanting to find more.

“Have you ever had a good thing that only you know about? So you spend your entire day fixating on how lucky you are to have it but you never physically say that you have it. And when you go to sleep you’re thinking of this thing, and how you want to have it forever. That’s Ayo.” she’d say with a content look on her face. Knowing that she didn’t answer the question, and that she was just spewing out her love for the woman instead.

She’d describe her as this soft, caring, strong leader that is an integral part of the Dora Milaje. She’d easily confess that she liked the woman.

If you were to ask her what she’d do if she were given the opportunity to be with her, she’d get serious. And with hopeful eyes she’d say “I’d take it. I’d take her and never look back.”

Then she’d let you sit with that information. Hoping that you wouldn’t tell anybody what she’d told you, but also secretly hoping that you’d tell absolutely everybody.

If anyone were to ask Ayo about Aneka; they’d probably get a very limited answer.

She’d tense up, looking around for the woman in question before even thinking of what to say.

“Aneka is…” she’d stop to think of the briefest way to express how she felt, not wanting anyone to know too much about her feelings.

“Aneka is the reason that Bast still makes humans.”

In her head she’d go on about Aneka being the closest thing to perfect that there could be. But out loud, she’d stay silent.

She wouldn’t want to elaborate on the statement. She wouldn’t even want to repeat it.

Instead, she’d daydream about the woman, right as you spoke to her.

If you were to ask her what she’d do if she got the opportunity to be with her, she’d hesitate.

“I haven’t thought about it.” she’d lie at first, knowing that she was constantly thinking about it. Then, feeling bad for lying, she’d again try to keep it brief.

“I’d think about it.” she’d say, before immediately retreating to go anywhere but where she was.

“Ayo. What are you doing here? Isn’t it your day off?” Aneka’s questions are what welcomed Ayo into the room that she often chose to train in.

She’d get home, and think about it. Then she’d be training, and she’d think about it. All day she’d think about it. Think about how quickly she’d say yes if Aneka asked her on a date.

At first she got choked up, not knowing what to say to the woman. She knew the answers to the questions, but talking to Aneka was a much more specific task.

She wanted to say the exact right thing. She suddenly needed to make sure that she looked presentable.

She struggled to find her feet in creating conversation, but Aneka -being Aneka- waited patiently with a smile as she watched Ayo look for words.

She cleaned her spear as she waited.

“I thought that I’d come see you. Maybe get in some one-on-one combat with you.” She lied. That wasn’t why she was there. She came to be alone with herself. If she had known that Aneka was going to be there, she wouldn’t have had the guts to go. But it was too late now.

Aneka nodded, humming in delight.

“Okay, beloved. I see you feel more than up for a challenge today.”

Ayo blushed. Had Aneka just called her beloved?

The room was growing warmer. More welcoming. Ayo quickly forgot her previous urge to get out and find another place to train.

She got herself together, taking out her spear, just as Aneka did hers.

The two spent some time circling each other. Aneka looked deeply into Ayo’s eyes, while Ayo tried to stay focused more on the combat than on Aneka’s charming smile.

She became hasty in her attack, charging first to get the action going. Aneka’s expression changed quickly. Her battle face took over as she realised that Ayo intended to seriously train.

‘ She's still charming.’ Ayo thought. Then she shook her head at herself. “Focus.” she whispered to herself.

“I am.” Aneka said, swinging her spear under Ayo.

The latter responded with a swift gliding motion of her spear to stop Aneka’s from hitting her feet.

Aneka retracted, and brought her spear up to clash with Ayo’s.

Ayo tried to stay focused, looking down while blocking the other spear. But still Aneka retracted and took hit after hit, smiling when she was able to pass through Ayo’s defences.

For once she was glad that the training spears weren’t electric like the vibranium ones.

When she landed on the floor, she was even more glad that it was only the two of them in the room. Had the others been there, Okoye wouldn’t ever have let her forget it.

Especially because Aneka hadn’t even touched her, so she’d seemingly tripped on air.

“Is that all you’ve got, Ayo?” She approached the defeated woman who refused to get up and continue to embarrass herself.

When Aneka knelt down, her cocky expression turned worried. “Oh, my love. You’re hurt. Your head.”

Ayo raised her hand to take a feel of her head, and unsurprisingly her hands returned with blood on them.

“Stay here.” Aneka said.

Ayo did as instructed, sitting up and waiting for Aneka to return.

Though she considered leaving then and there, her mind told her not to. Her mind went back to the other thing Aneka had said.

“Oh, my love. You’re hurt.”

My love.

Was that something that Aneka usually called people? She couldn’t quite remember.

Her memory was hazy.

When Aneka came back with a first aid kit, Ayo’s mind came back to her injury.

She tried to make a grab for the kit to handle her situation.

“Don’t. Let me do it, Ayo.”

So she backed off, letting Aneka disinfect and place a cream on the cut.

“There.” she said when she’d put the thin bandaging on Ayo’s head.

“Um.” Ayo tried to speak, her voice hoarse and throat dry. Aneka’s face was so close to hers. So close that Ayo could tell that Aneka could feel her breathing on her skin.

She didn’t know what to do with the position that they were in. Aneka leaned closer to her face, her lips puckered.

Feeling those lips on her forehead, Ayo automatically sighed, feeling her body release the tension that it had.

“Thank. You.” she rasped out.

Aneka smiled, bringing her face lower.

When their lips were on the same level, and only mere centimetres apart, she stopped, Meeting Ayo’s eyes.

.Ayo opened her eyes to see that she was in her bed, by herself.

Just as the light touch of Aneka’s lips hit Ayo’s; she woke up.

She breathed deeply, processing the hyper-realistic dream’s events.

Her hand went for her forehead, feeling completely cut-free skin.

Getting out of bed, she tried to ration with her mind.

It was just a dream. Just because she felt so good in it, it didn’t mean that there was any truth to it.

Sure, she found Aneka to be quite attractive. But that was it.

That sensational feeling that she felt in that dream; that feeling of love. That was all fake. Just her mind playing tricks on her.

But she couldn’t deny the tingling feeling that still remained on her lips for the rest of the morning. The remnant feeling of what could have been.

She couldn't deny that she possibly wanted more of that. At least; not to herself.

To everyone else she would at least try her best.

Walking into the palace, Ayo was greeted by the sound of the early-bird Adored Ones chatting in the hall before the day truly started.

The leader of the noise was none other than the woman of her dreams. Literally.

Ayo approached the glowing presence of the woman who spoke. She could tell that they were all engaging in lighter conversation, seeing as everyone was smiling.

When Aneka caught a glimpse of Ayo on the sidelines, she lit up.

“And if it isn’t the woman of the hour! Morning Ayo.”

Ayo was ashamed to admit that her heart skipped a few beats when everyone looked her way.

Though her face was serious like it should’ve been, she could feel her face tingling. She had a feeling Aneka was the only one who could sense her uncomfortability.

Aneka went to hug her, embracing her firmly. “You look amazing today.” she whispered into her ear.

Ayo’s face was on fire now. The strong blushing sensation almost breaking her serious expression.

“Thank you.” she said quickly. Unlike in her dream she was quick on her feet when she was talking to Aneka. It was the best way to stay ahead of the flirtatious advances that she often made.

Not that Ayo thought it was serious flirting.

That would insinuate a completely different thing. It was just playful flirting… that was slightly more than one-sided.

She said slightly more because she couldn’t always be sure with Aneka.

She was a lot more talkative than her. Which often meant that compliments like the ones that she gave her were given to far more other people.

That’s why being quick to dismiss her was the best option. It took the feelings out of it all.

Unfortunately, that’s just about all that it did. When it came to staying focused around Aneka, quick responses didn’t help her. She was just as bad if not worse than herself in her dream.

With everyone else joining them in training in the same room, she was more wary of how she behaved. But Aneka still acted the same.

It made for easy distractions.

Ayo landed on the floor much faster than in her dream.

Aneka smirked at her, but quickly stopped and came closer to the woman, “Ayo, you’re hurt.”

Ayo sighed, lifting her hand and just like she’d predicted, seeing blood.

Aneka went to get the first aid kit, and Ayo couldn’t help but feel a part of her hurt for the missing “my love.” in her words.

Some of the others watched her as she sat on the ground, embarrassing her more.

Aneka came back, and for 3 whole minutes, Ayo’s real life was matching the dream exactly.

“There.” Aneka said.

She looked into her eyes, leaning in.

But Ayo wasn’t ready to face the rejection.

“Thank you.” she said.

She stood up quickly, knocking Aneka over accidentally. “Ayo, Wait!”

Rushing out of the room, she went into the opposite one, where no one had chosen to train alone in.

She let herself catch her breath, feeling a headache approaching.

Hearing a breathy voice behind her, she internally screamed.

“Ayo.” Aneka said.

Ayo turned around, seeing a confused Aneka coming towards her.

“What’s wrong?” Aneka’s hand went to softly hold Ayo’s chin like she often did, but Ayo moved in protest.

“It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t feel like nothing.”

Ayo finally met the other woman’s eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong, Aneka.”

“Then we’ll figure it out. Just talk to me, Ayo.” Aneka begged.

The two looked at each other, breathing in deeper than normal. Time was temporarily halted. Ayo’s eyes looked down to the other’s lips for a moment before she tried to look away.

“I-”

Her eyes closed for a moment, and that light graze came again. Aneka’s soft lips wanting to touch hers.

But not quite reaching them.

“Ayo-” Okoye’s voice and frame came into the room, making the two separate.

“Oh.” Okoye had stopped dead in her tracks seeing the two so close together. Even if only for a split second.

“I heard Ayo got hurt. I was just coming to check on her.” Okoye said, looking the other way.

“Okoye,” Ayo tried to explain

“You look okay, so- I’m gonna leave now.” She turned and left the room as quickly as she came in.

Aneka’s attention returned to Ayo. “Maybe you should take the rest of today off. Just to figure out what’s wrong.”

Ayo unknowingly moved her head. Making it look like she nodded in agreement.

Aneka gave a slightly frown-like smile, going back to the room filled with the others.

Ayo stood still for a while, trying to figure out whether or not she had imagined what happened.

She came to no definite conclusion.

For weeks after it all happened, there was a distance between the two.

At first, Ayo made a point to avoid Aneka. Making up excuses for her to leave the rooms that Aneka entered. Saying that she was busy, or just openly ignoring her presence.

Aneka didn’t notice at first, actually believing that Ayo was busy all of the time. But when she noticed that she was purposely ignoring her on some occasions, she grew distant.

She didn’t outright ignore Ayo, but you could sense the tension whenever she chose to compliment someone else instead of her. Aneka didn’t mean any harm in it. She just knew what she wanted, and since Ayo wouldn’t admit that there were mutual feelings there; it had become a way to make her see what she was missing.

To Ayo, the ‘flirting’ became a clear confirmation that there was nothing special between them.

She let herself accept the fact that she would never get to feel that sensational love that she had secretly been hoping to have with Aneka.

This didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Because it did.

It hurt seeing those compliments going to others. It hurt seeing her face light up seeing other people. It hurt knowing that she wasn’t even an option anymore.

Ayo always had her reservations about starting that type of relationship with a fellow Adored One, but having the option always felt comforting.

Knowing that if she just got the courage to make that one decision; to take a risk. She’d have a chance of having something great.

It was the one thing that made her day 100 times better.

Now that that was gone, all she did was crave it. Hoping that she’d get it back one day.

Spending another day avoiding Aneka, Ayo sat on a bench watching her from afar.

As a woman approached Aneka, all Ayo could see was an excited romance-adjacent encounter. Aneka was all over the woman. Hugging her intimately. Whispering into her ear like she used to do to Ayo.

As Aneka held on to her, refusing to stop hugging the woman, her eyes landed on Ayo staring.

Ayo stood up, looking away with the hope that Aneka hadn’t fully caught her.

She gathered her things, making her way around Aneka and her new woman.

When Aneka saw the look on Ayo’s face at the sight of her ‘new interest’, she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty.

She’s known that using her friend as a jealousy tactic would have worked, but seeing her immediately leave with that sad look on her face again. It made Aneka want to fix things far sooner than she had initially thought that she would.

She thanked her friend for the help, making her way home.

There, she got herself ready for her big moment. Thinking about that one question.

What would she do if she got the opportunity to be with Ayo? She’d so confidently thought she’d “Take it” when first asked.

Now. she had to put that confidence into good use.

She didn’t necessarily think that she had an opportunity, but she had a small opening. One that was only being held open because of that almost kiss.

She’d been clinging to it from the moment it happened, wondering if she had imagined it.

She hoped that she hadn’t. She hoped that her opening was real.

Hope was the one thing driving her forward to make her move.

When Ayo heard a knock on the door of her home, she groaned in exhaustion. She’d been self-loathing for a few hours by then. Embarrassingly wallowing in her own pool of self-pity.

She was grateful that she’d at least changed into something comfortable, but presentable. Not needing to check for her appearance.

She opened the door to yet another dream. Though it seemed very real.

Aneka stood in front of her. Dressed like what Ayo could only describe as a glimpse of paradise. Like an angel.

Wearing a slitted cream-coloured dress, with silver earrings that stole Ayo’s attention and refused to relinquish it, Aneka stood far more confidently than she felt.

“Take me on a date tonight.” she demanded, letting herself into Ayo’s home.

Ayo turned to the woman who had passed her and was now getting comfortable in her house. She wore a confused expression on her face.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, take me on a date tonight. I'm sick of-”

Ayo brought her hands up to tell Aneka to slow down. “Wait, can you stop for a moment and let me think.”

So Aneka stopped, looking around while Ayo tried to process what was going on.

When she had calmed down and filtered her questions down, she took a deep breath.

“You want me to take you out?” she asked. Aneka nodded,

“Where is this coming from?” She asked, not knowing how loaded that question was for Aneka.

“It’s coming from years of watching you from a distance and wondering what it would be like to have you up close.” she started.

“I keep asking myself what I would do if I just got one chance to try this out. To try us out. Everytime I think about it, I tell myself that it might work. If I just get the chance. So I wait. And I wait, and wait. But I can’t keep waiting. It’s never gonna happen if all I do is wait. So I’m forcing myself to be the chance for once.” Aneka tried not to tear up at her words, wanting Ayo to know that she was serious.

Meanwhile, Ayo was doing everything to make sure that it wasn’t another dream. She checked for the time. She looked all over her house to check for any small changes. She even pinched herself a few times.

When she was sure that it was real, she still had her reservations.

“What about the girl you were with earlier.?” she asked bitterly.

Aneka scrunched her face at the thought of explaining that. “She’s just a friend.”

“A bit close to just be a friend, don't you think?”

“Look Ayo. I’m telling the truth. She’s just a friend. We don’t usually act like that. I was trying to make you jealous.”

“You were?” Ayo scoped out her whole body -mostly just to soak in the beauty of its presentation again- but more importantly to see if she was lying.

Seeing her do this, Aneka smirked. “Mhm. And it worked too. Well, mostly worked.”

“What makes you think I was jealous? “

“Ayo. Are you actually going to make me answer that? Don’t try and deny it.”

“I’m not trying to deny anything. Okay. Maybe I was a little bit hurt by it. But it wasn’t that bad.”

“Really? What were you doing before I got here?”

Ayo refused to answer, looking anywhere but at the other woman. Aneka folded her arms in victory, knowing that she had won.

Ayo considered her situation. Adding the new information that she had into the equation. Was she willing to take the risk?

What if it didn’t work? She wasn’t willing to risk that.

“I don’t know, Aneka.”

Aneka sighed, going in to hold Ayo’s hand. “Ayo. I’m not asking you to say yes to doing anything but take me on a date tonight. I know exactly what I want with you, and if you need me to tell you I will do so gladly. But I know how you are. You’ll stress out the entire time and feel pressured into taking a thousand steps at a time and making it work out as soon as it begins. Right now, all I want is for you to take this 1 step with me.”

She kissed her hand, looking at her with her entrancing eyes.

Ayo couldn’t help but start to feel that loving sensation all over again.

“Okay.” she whispered.

“Okay?” Aneka asked excitedly.

“Yes, okay.”

Aneka released her hand, going to hug her.

“Just one step?” Ayo asked. Aneka nodded in agreement.

Ayo let go, “Before we do that.” She couldn’t help herself as she leaned into Aneka.

There was no denying that their lips touched then. They connected and held each other gently, until they were ready to let go. Then they did it again. And then one last time for good measure.

When they departed for the last time, Aneka couldn’t hold in her giggle.

“Just one step at a time.” she told Ayo.

She reminded the both of them of that one thing.

It was just one step.

One night.

One date.

And a plethora of other possibilities.

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