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autism-alley · 4 months

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hi originally posted this at the end of a long thread of back and forth, here’s the og post if you want full context but i feel like this needs to be its own post especially bc i keep seeing this argument being made—the argument that the kids (in this case it was annabeth) SHOULD just know the monsters are monsters and who they are and how to defeat them before ever encountering them, that it’s a problem if they don’t.

the problem is not if 12 year olds should recognize a trap when they see one, even if they’re smart 12 year olds, and if that’s realistic. that is entirely beside the point.

the problem is rick riordan wrote a book series whose formula is bringing myths to the modern age and he’s not sticking true to that in the show—percy jackson and the olympians’ Shtick is taking these classic, ancient threats and giving them a new face. these traps work because these kids are not walking into a cave marked with Get Out and getting ambushed by monsters—the monsters are disguised as harmless mortal human beings, in harmless mortal human being places (for the most part) and i think we—and more importantly, the show—are all forgetting the mist, the magic involved here. it’s not just that medusa is a “creepy lady with her eyes covered” it’s that there is ancient magic at work here, magic that, like the systems of abuse pjo exists to criticize, has been evolving and continuing its malevolence for millennia. it’s formulaic, that’s the point. it’s the same trap you’ve learned about all your childhood, the same trap a thousand children before you learned all their childhoods, and still, it works. you fall into the trap. because that’s how generational abuse works. it’s a trap. it isn’t enough to learn monsters exist, what they look like from a second hand story that originated thousands of years ago. if you want to escape alive, you have to adapt as quickly as they do, recognize their face, and ultimately, beyond any individual trap, the game itself has to change. real, generational change.

so. the problem is rick riordan wrote a series with a formula for action that perfectly captures the overarching, systemic conflicts he was commentating on, and then threw that formula out in the show because it was “unrealistic”. i don’t give a damn about realism when it works to the detriment of the story. this is a story about generational abuse, yes, but it’s told through ‘a tale as old as time’ and that’s why it works so fucking well. and when it comes to basic storytelling, if your characters know the threat before they even walk in and you do practically nothing to then make up for the stakes you have removed, that’s a flaw. now you’ve lost the entertainment value for your audience, on top of also lessening your themes.

something else that is so. honestly soul-crushing as a writer and a creative, is that to me this is reflective of the way we are now afraid to tell earnest stories. stories where we care not for listening to the people who want to pick apart fictional, mythical, fantasy stories for not being “realistic” instead of aligning with our target audience who acknowledges reality is not what makes a story. think of your favorite movie, show, book, comic, what have you—has the reason for your favoritism ever been because it is the most reasonable, the most grounded, the most practical out of any you’ve seen? or is it because of the emotion? the way it speaks to you, to your life and the person you are? the journey it takes you on? is the percy jackson and the olympians book series so good because it’s inherently realistic?

the secret to storytelling is, very simply, focus on your story. everything else is secondary. if it’s written well, it doesn’t matter to me that the characters walk into a trap that, to the audience, is obviously a trap. because i can understand how the characters don’t know it, and how the story falls apart if the narrative just tells the characters it’s a trap from the jump. that’s what dramatic irony is—first used in greek tragedies! this is literally a tale as old as time in every sense except for the end—where it’s happy. and it’s not earned if we don’t first see, over and over, the status quo as a tragic trap.

it’s not about if annabeth (or the other kids) is “smart enough” to not walk into a trap, or about if she’s just too prideful to not walk into what she knows is a trap (or any reason that could apply to the other characters), it’s that annabeth, at the end of the day, is a character. she is a storytelling tool for the messages of the narrative. that doesn’t make her any lesser. in fact ignoring it reduces her, because it reduces what she represents. it’s about how rick riordan, or whoever else at disney, has fumbled the storytelling bag so ridiculously hard that they can’t take the simple, effective formula outlined from start to finish (by good ol 2009 rick himself) and adapt it to the screen without answering the most unimportant, derailing, anti-story questions.

#one of the ppl who reblogged the og post said whatever happened to suspension of disbelief and i could have kissed them on the mouth #yes exactly #this new age of audiences who praise ‘realism’ over good storytelling i hate u #‘content over cinema’ i hate u.#i’m not even a screenwriter but any writer can tell you #we’re talking foundations of the craft here #and the worst part is rick already succeeded in the books #if it ain’t broke don’t fix it #where along this path did he lose sight of everything he set out to say?#anyways this is its own post now go forth and do with it what u will #pjo #percy jackson #pjo show crit #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson tv show #annabeth chase #ris raves

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clip-the-simp · 24 days

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Not Much Else [Pt.1]

Ao3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem!Reader

Word count: 2,956

Warnings: canon typical violence, swearing, mention of drugs and surgery, (I’m bad at warning tags so just let me know if I need/should to add some)

Tags: Mild Proofreading, Slow Burn(?), reader had bat wings, Bounty Hunting, slight deviation from TV show, pre!show events(?), (Again I'm bad at tags so let me know)

Summary: You're a vault experiment that makes it to the surface. Quickly you learn the lay of the land and a few years later end up working the same bounty as The Ghoul. You convince him to let you take a long after having a feeling that you just had to follow him. Where will this story lead? Only time (and my motivation) will tell.

A/N: this is cringy as shit so please forgive me. I’m trying to get back into writing and my current hyperfixation is Fallout. I've been a fan for years but a new found love was sparked with the show's release.

Be forewarned that this is going to be incredibly inaccurate to cannon events and really unrealistic honestly. But listen. If Lucy can have her finger zapped back on and working properly anything can happen.

The scientists of your vault had placed nearly 200 hundred people into cryo pods before the bombs had fallen. A few had been scientists, but most were test subjects. Those chosen to be experimented on were chosen from a vast array of different medical histories, genetic makeups, ages, and ethnicities which always resulted in different mutations. Only about one third of the subjects had volunteered, while the majority had been simply manipulated, kidnapped, and or drugged before being shoved into a cryopod.

You had been one of the majority that had been kidnapped. Before the bombs, you had been a star in HollyWood and went on to be in several films which included a western or two. You were still fairly young however, so when the threat of bombs falling had started to rise you had been cornered. A white cloth with chloroform was shoved into your face once you had gotten back to your film trailer after wrapping up the final scene for a movie you were co-starring in. You had only woken up for a brief moment after being kidnapped, which was right before they had shoved you into a pod and began the process to preserve your body for the next century or so.

When the scientist decided it was time to start experimenting, some wouldn’t survive the first round of injections but that never did stop the test. Even after death the bodies would continue to be used to determine different severities of treatments on human tissue.

However, those that didn’t have the fortune of passing within the first few rounds of chems being forced into their veins, they had far worse ahead of them. Which just so happened to be the group of unfortunate folks you wound up being.

It had been about 175 years after the bombs dropped before they dethawed you from your cryosleep and started on their process of testing and modifying your body. They had hoped, just like with all of their other experiments they had running, that you would be one of their best.

After the first initial round of chems they had started to cut into you and spliced your DNA with multiple different creatures. First it started with the removal and rewiring of your eyes. They had been replaced with those of a feline which had taken you months to recover from, but that didn’t stop the minor test they continued to perform.

The rewiring in your brain caused excruciating headaches for the first few months but soon you were able to view things from a new lens. Being able to see more than most at night was a great perk to have when the vaults tended to stay poorly lit. However this also caused you to have some sensitivities to bright lights, so in response to that the scientist designed specialized goggles to combat it but made them so they wouldn’t impair your ability to see at night with them still being on.

The next body modification came when a scorchbeast, a large mutated bat creature, had been killed and dragged into the vault. After careful consideration and candidate evaluation you had been chosen to be subjugated to the experiment. No one knew if your body would reject the new muscle and bones that had to be implanted, but your genes had the most likely success rate when looking at the data provided.

After a full year of recovery you had full mobility of the limbs, and with it having been a young scorchbeast, the wings hadn’t been to terribly large in comparison to your body. You had been due for more body installments but before the scientist had the opportunity to stick another knife in you all hell had broken loose.

One of the more aggressive test subjects had escaped from their enclosure and started wreaking havoc upon the vault. They had managed to set other people free while in a blind rage when they had broken into the control room. In doing so not only where you set free but so where all the others, including those in cryosleep.

However you hadn’t stuck around for long once everyone, mutated or not, had started attacking one another in a panic. Having seen map layouts of the vault in the halls on the way to your surgeries, you had been one of the first to make it to the surface and begin your trick through the waste land.

After a week you had managed to find your way to a town which was both a blessing and a curse. Outside the walls of the town there had been a dead man who still had his clothes on. Having realized you were still in your medical gown, you had stripped him of the garments, minus the underwear, and cut a large hole in the back of the shirt to accommodate for your wings. With pants and a shirt on you were now a little more confident when entering the settlement.

Even after getting more than a hospital gown on, people still had given you strange looks as you walked the streets. They snarled and ogled at the wings sprouting from your back, and even after tucking them under your arms while pulling them close to your sides, it didn’t stop the stairs. Your goggles had remained pulled over your eyes during the majority of your time on the surface, but you could tell people could still see the slits that were your pupils.

You had quickly learned the ways of the waste land. Caps controlled everything, violence was always the answer, and it was kill or be killed. So when a man suddenly cornered you in the alley way of that first town you were in, you quickly became a killer. Whether it was the animal genetics fused with your own or your will to survive, you had proceeded to rip that man's neck out with your teeth when he had gotten close enough.

In doing so you had gained a handful of caps, a slightly rusted knife, and a pistol that had enough ammo to mow down a small horde of ghouls. The only item of clothing you peeled from his body was a weathered trench coat made of leather. That had managed to cover your wings if you kept them tucked close enough, although a bet awkwardly.

With the handful of caps you had gathered you had managed to get some accentals and learned about bounty hunting. If you were going to survive in the world you had to adapt, and so you did.

Two years had passed since you first began living on the surface when you had encountered The Ghoul, face to face, for the first time. Both of you had been working the same job when the target in question got smart and hired a few armed guards. The two of you were knocked unconscious and tied up in a rotting building while the target and his goons ran off. You had come to when the splitting pain from being knocked out finally became too much for your body to suppress.

As you peeled your eyes open, you started to realize someone was tied to your back as you and the other person sat on the sand covered floor of the decaying house. Shuffling a bet you tried to grab the knife at your side but soon heard a groan from the person you were tied to. You hadn’t bothered before to try and see who it was, hoping to have gotten untied from one another before they had the chance to wake up and possibly kill you.

“Fucking hell.” You heard the man mumble as he tried to get his bearings as you had. Your heart made its way to your throat as you realized who it was. Although you had never met the man you recognized his voice from the rare occasion you had been in the same town together at the same time.

Fuck fuck fuck! You thought as you continued, more hastily this time, to try and get the knife at your side. You had never paid The Ghoul much attention, however you know of his reputation and that he was a gifted gun slinger. However, while you hadn't paid him much attention, he had been studying you. He had started to recognize you any time you just happened to be in the same town. It wasn't anything more than the fact you were exceedingly odd and always looked out of place from those shuffling around you. Although he was a ghoul and the farthest thing from normal looking, your wings would always take any and all attention from those around you. No matter how well hidden you tried to keep them.

“Stop fidgeting damn it.” Your body immediately froze as he spoke directly to you. A few shuffles of his own and he quickly had his hands on his own knife which sliced through the rope with relative ease. You fell forward slightly as the tension from the rope was released and you quickly stood to dust yourself off.

Turning around you saw The Ghoul doing the same thing as he stood. His duster was ripped to shreds but still served its purpose of covering him from the sun. The cowboy hat he held in his hands was quickly placed back on his head before he turned to glare at you. His spurs jingled a little as he faced you.

Everything in your body screamed at you to run before he could pull out his weapon, but his gaze had you pinned to your spot in the room. You swallowed hard before trying to move and look more relaxed then you really were. Crossing your arms you moved your eyes to meet his which started an immediate feeling of regret.

There was something about his eyes that held a feeling of familiarity but it was buried under the many years of being forced to live amongst the harsh conditions of the wasteland. The Ghoul’s eyes remained on your face for the longest time before traveling to the tips of your wings that peeked out from under your coat. You quickly tried to tuck them closer to hide them but that just led to him looking back to your face.

“Now how the hell you get those on your back?” The Ghoul pointed to where the wings had been showing just moments before. His question had brought you out of your frozen state as you tried justifying to yourself answering him truthfully. You didn’t figure it would hurt to be truthful, especially since it was only the two of you at that moment. Not to mention the odd feeling that you could rely on him to keep any information you needed to get off your chest.

“Vault experiments.” You answered plainly as you moved the extra appendages from under your coat and spread them a little farther out from your body as you stretched them. As you did this something shifted in his expression, almost a kin to pity. He looked back into your eyes as if trying to recognize you as you had done the same to him moments before. You had forgotten the fact your eyes were no longer human so whatever search he was on would be nearly impossible if he intended to find answers within them. Not to mention the fact that your goggles were currently tented from the light coming in from the setting sun.

“That’s unfortunate. Seems like those wings would be in the way of everything.” He stated while picking up some of his belongings that hadn’t been taken. You crossed your arms and leaned on one leg. Sure, the wings were annoying at first, but they had become useful as time went on. You always managed to travel farther than anyone else in the wasteland could in two days on foot.

“They’re actually quite helpful.” You stated as you began to check yourself for any belongings that might be missing. “People don’t expect an aerial assault nowadays. So ambushing people is quite the luxury when being a bounty hunter.” The Ghoul gave a low hum as he slung his bag back over his shoulder. Surprisingly enough they hadn’t stolen anything, but you assumed it was because they were more focused on getting out of there before the two of you woke up.

“Well sweetheart I must be on my way. That bounty is still out there and I don't need someone else getting my caps.” As he said this The Ghoul slung his leg over the wall of the decrepit house and began his trek to the target. Something in the back of your mind pricked at your thoughts as he walked away. The feeling that you needed to follow him into the wasteland grew stronger the farther he walked.

What was it about this guy that had you wanted to do nothing more than follow him like a lost puppy? You hadn’t meant to be working the same bounty but somehow it felt like it was meant to be. Kicking yourself mentally, you sprinted after him. He had only managed to get a few yards away before you abruptly sprinted up behind him.

Out of instinct The Ghoul pulled his gun on you and had it aimed directly at your head. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath from the short unexpected run you just had. The adrenaline pumping through your veins prevented you from freezing or seeing the gun held to your face as much of a threat at that moment. All your mind was trained on was convincing The Ghoul to take you with him on this job.

“Take me with you.” Was all you could blurt out. Your voice had been shaky which you hoped wouldn’t be too noticeable but The Ghoul definitely caught it. He lowered his gun to keep it aimed at your chest instead.

“Now why should I do that?” He asked as he raised a nonexistent eyebrow. The sun was getting low which caused a shadow to shroud most of The Ghoul’s face. A knot began to form in your stomach. You hadn’t thought this through at all but had to come up with an excuse fast.

“I can be of help. Like I stated before, aerial assault isn’t something most folks are prepared to fight against.” That was practically the only key advantage you had on most other people. You had other talents, sure, but that was back up information in case the main appeal didn’t go through.

The Ghoul lifted his gun to tip his hat out of his face to get direct eye contact with you. His gaze fell and rose as he examined your form. It made you partly embarrassed as you pulled your wings in closer. He stood there and contemplated for a while until you broke the silence.

You grabbed the goggles from your face and sat them on top of your head. Your vision quickly adjusted to the new light exposed to your eyes. As The Ghoul looked back to your face you saw a bet of shock appear on his face before it was quickly masked again.

“Listen,” You started as your hands quickly began to fidget with one another. “I don't know why but I feel as if I’m supposed to go with you. If I had an explanation of why I would tell you but I don’t except for saying it’s a gut feeling.” The Ghoul’s expression stayed the same which quickly diminished your hope of joining him. Your eyes fell to the ground as you continued to speak.

“I don’t require caps or any sort of compensation for joining since I’m doing this out of complete and utter selflessness.” You were about to continue rambling before The Ghoul let out an exasperated sigh. Your attention brought back to his form. The Ghoul was pinching between his eyebrows as he holstered his gun. A few mumbles left his lips before his gaze finally settled back upon you.

“If you slow me down-” He started to say. You quickly cut him off as the realization that he was actually taking you along settled in.

“I won’t! I promise.” You said cheerfully as your wings slightly lifted from your sides. Your demeanor was probably a bit too cheerful though with how his expression changed.

“We’ll see if you keep that promise.” The Ghoul grumbled as he looked at the setting sun. It had nearly disappeared over the horizon which had put the world in a deep shade of purplish pink. It wouldn't be long before the sun was completely gone to leave the two of you in complete darkness.

However, that didn’t stop the two of you from traveling a bet that night. Your night vision was impeccable and The Ghoul had a lamp to guide his way. You stayed silent as did The Ghoul which hadn’t surprised you much. It had been about four hours of traveling before he finally spoke to inform you that it was time to siddle for the night.

#the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard #x female reader #f!reader #fanfic #x reader #x reader fanfiction #fallout #fallout fanfic #fallout franchise #writers on tumblr #female writers

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venusstorm · 2 years

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More Than Friends

Part One

Fear. It drove apart your friendship with Chris, it prevented him from telling you how he feels, and after a big argument, you’re left wondering if he had ever even cared.

Note: Italics indicate past events

Warnings: 18+, sexual themes, angst, you’ll probably want to fight Chris after reading

Part Two <Series Masterlist> Masterlist

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"What was I supposed to do?" You shout. Anger and resentment had filled your body to to the brim, just waiting to spew out and unleash onto the man before you.

"I don't fucking know! Not go and screw my costar that's for one!" Chris shouts.

You shake your head in astonishment. For years the two of you had been inseparable friends. You spent holidays with his family, he took you out every year on your birthday, he was the first person you'd call if something went wrong. Most of all, he was the one person that you ever truly loved.

But after you mistakenly confessed your feelings, it all went down hill.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"I love you," you whispered. Too fearful to make eye contact with Chris, you turned away to face the wall.

"Y/N..." he trailed off.

"I know it's terrible timing but I had to tell you before you left. It's been eating me alive and—"

"You know I love you...just not in that way," he said quietly. You feel the touch of his hand graze your shoulder as he continues. "We wouldn't make sense."

You shook your head with confusion, "what do you mean we wouldn't make sense?"

"We're amazing as friends, anything more would just be...unrealistic."

Your heart snapped. Months of waiting for the right moment to express your feelings all came down to this moment. Years of watching him go from partner to partner, complaining about how he can never find "the one," all while you were standing right there. Waiting for him. All of it was for nothing.

"Okay." You mouthed.

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him. Those blue eyes of his would surely be staring at you with empathy and compassion. The last thing you needed was for him to feel sorry for you. How clueless could you be? If Chris wanted something more he would've done so by now.

Chris grabbed your hand, holding it tightly. “I’ll see you when I get back okay,” he states.

Sighing, you nodded. He embraced you in one last hug, and if you didn’t know any better, you thought you’d seen tears fighting to fall from his eyes.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Not even a week after you confessed your feelings, Chris was seen making out with the lead actress of his new movie in London. They sat side by side in the park, a picnic spread around them as they smiled into each other's eyes.

Picnics were you and Chris’s thing. You’d drag him to the middle of some field, wildflowers sprouting everywhere and the sounds of birds cheerful noises filling your ears. He’d always bring the drinks and you’d bring an unnecessarily large amount of food. Music would blast from his speaker, but you always had control of what played. Honestly, it was your favorite thing to do in the world.

And seeing him have such an intimate one with someone else put a dagger into your heart.

At least it shook you out of the self pitying haze you had been trapped in all week. You knew at the moment that you could never be friends again. Your feelings were far too strong and heart to broken for it.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧��︵‿︵

You hadn't spoken to Chris in months. He'd text to check up on you, but eventually you stopped responding and he stopped asking. The only glimpses of his life you saw were on the Internet. Usually tabloids gawking about his newfound relationship with Lily James or the ridiculous Instagram stories he posted with his brother.

Despite this, you felt content. Sure you lost a friend, but you got a chance to figure yourself out. Your heart was no longer attached to a fleeting man, and instead it was free to roam as it pleased.

And roam it did.

See, as a production designer, being surrounded by talented (and gorgeous) actors was a usual. Hell, it's how you met Chris in the first place. But you hardly ever interacted with any of them. You were just another person passing them on set every day, praying that shooting goes smoothly.

So when Henry Cavill saw you standing by yourself, immersed in your cell phone, he insisted that he take you out for dinner. Apparently he had been gawking at you all week, amazed by how hardworking and beautiful you were.

Was it unprofessional? Perhaps. But were you gonna deny the god that is Henry Cavill? Hell no.

Dinner was fantastic, but what came after was even better. You found yourself stumbling into your apartment with his lips attached to yours. His hands fumbling to rip off your shirt and unclasp your lace bra.

You knew after he left that you'd probably never see him again. And you were perfectly okay with that. It just felt nice to let loose and let your heart roam free without any commitments. It was one night, and you thought you had heard the last of it...well until Chris came barging at your door a couple weeks later.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"He wasn't even your co-star at the time," you gritted. "And who do you think you are dictating my sex life."

"It's kind of my business when we're all talking about life and he goes on talking about 'some girl' he fucked the other day and how he had her screaming her lungs out. Then he went on talking about how he should've gotten her number and some other bullshit. And the moment he started describing the way she looked and how he met her...I knew it was you.

"He wanted my number?" You smile. But then suddenly what he said clicked in your brain. "You all were talking about life? And Henry just so happened to bring me up?"

Chris glances away, already knowing what question you're going to ask next.

"So all of you were talking about people you recently fucked? Or just Henry?”

He knew you were asking if he too was going into detail about his sex life. You were pointing out his hypocrisy but Chris was too red with anger to care.

When Chris remains quiet you already knew your answer.

"That's not the point. How the fuck am I supposed to do an entire movie with someone after he told me in detail how he screwed my best friend?"

You flinch at the words "best friend." The two of you hadn't spoken in months, the title of "best friend" was long gone.

"Easy. Just act like it never happened," you snapped. "You seem to be good at that anyways."

Chris's face hardens. "Was this payback?"

Your hands flew into the air forcefully. "No it wasn't payback! Is it so hard to believe that someone like Henry would be interested in me?"

"Of course not! Stop making this into something it's not."

"Do you understand how much it hurt seeing you with somebody else right after I confessed years worth of bottled up feelings to you? Do you know how fucking worthless I felt seeing those tabloids?"

Chris goes silent. The tension in his face releasing as he watches you speak.

"You were my best friend...even if you didn't feel the same way, we could've talked about it. But instead you left and ignored me for months as if none of it ever happened. So no, getting with Henry fucking Cavill was not payback, it was me finally doing something that I wanted and deserved."

He spoke your name slowly. Chris knew he was disappointing you over and over, and quickly he realized that his anger was only hurting you more.

You deserve the truth.

"Where the fuck is your girlfriend anyways? You're over here worried about me when Hollywood Insider has her plastered everywhere cozied up with Sebastian Stan! And he's supposed to be one of your closest friends too!"

Tears of anger begin to blur your vision.

Life was so much easier when you didn't have to see him. You were finally getting back on track, living how you want, and now all of that progress had come crashing down.

"It was a publicity stunt," he whispers. "We were never even together— I wanted to tell you, but my publicist advised against telling anyone. Even my family didn't know."

Your eyes narrow. "Did your publicist also say to not contact me at all?"

He releases a deep sigh, "She didn't want to risk it."

You didn't even have the energy to be upset anymore, only a numbing pain remained.

"Everyone already thought we were together. Same shit happened to Scarlett and I before she got married...hell, even happened when she was married. My publicist just didn't want to risk clashing headlines."

You simply nod, too exhausted to continue arguing. "Okay."

Chris waited for you to say more but it never came. "Okay? That's it?"

"Yes Chris. Okay. Okay you shoved me aside, okay you didn't love me how I love you, okay that you hate me for screwing Henry. Everything's fucking okay. Can you leave now?"

Chris didn't know what to say. You looked defeated, broken even, and it was all his fault. He wanted to reach out and grab you, hug you like none of this ever happened and you were still his best friend.

But he no longer had that luxury.

Part Two

#chris evans #chris evans x you #chris evans angst #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x woc!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans fic #best friends to lovers #chris evans character x reader

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meraki-yao · 8 months

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The taylor zakhar perez hashtag just full of praise for Nicholas acting and twitter full of anonymous messages asking for his recast because he's not as good as Nick. That shit hurts and I can't even enjoy the new content I'm tired of the hate that man has been getting for a year and a half (it's not about Nicholas I love him so much)

First and foremost this is awful and Taylor doesn't deserve any of this unfair critism that are frankly insults, it's fucking sick

I will say this about the acting (and I'm typing this while listening to the podcast where Matthew talks about how well suited the boys are for the roles)

Both of them nailed their roles. But because of how the roles are written, certain things show easily than others.

Henry is more emotional sensitive and "broken", and because that's kind of an unhealthy mentality which isn't the normal state of human being, it's easier to pick up, which is why even with a surface glance audience can pick up on Nick's intensity and level of performing. For example, Henry spiraling on the lake. It's a crescendo of negative emotions, and you can see it go from opposite of the previous emotion (happy and content) to increasing panic and heartache.

Alex is the healthier one, in the movie he doesn't have much baggage as Henry does, but he does have baggage. At first Alex might seem like a sunshine puppy or something but if you paid attention to the details which Taylor does, you can read so much more. His fingers fidgeting whenever he's nervous like when Henry's taking off his clothes or Zahra barging in looking out. Like him clenching his jaw and watching every second of Henry's face when he goes in. Like how you can feel the aggressiveness in him die down as Henry shouts his thoughts during the Kensington confrontation. Like how fucking in love he looks all conveyed in his eyes.

So TL DR and this is my understanding of the performance: the tricky part for Nick is not to go overboard so that it's too dramatic to the point of being unrealistic, while the tricky part for Taylor is too not under perform it that Alex becomes one dimensional. AND BOTH BOYS NAIL IT PERFECTLY.

But for people who watch it passively, or watch it with negative assessment already in mind, it's easier to miss Taylor's details than Nick's details.

I WANNA MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT I DON'T AGREE WITH THE SHIT TAYLOR'S GETTING I DON'T AGREE WITH ANY OF THIS AND TAYLOR JUST IS ALEX TO ME

But this is a speculation from the acting perspective as to part of the reason why Taylor's getting so much shit

Also Twitter people are just another fucking type of crowd who mostly should use their life to do something better (I'm not on Twitter and never will be) and I'm convinced that there's still racism involved in these commentary even if it's internalized or latent

Anyone who says Taylor should be recast or is not as good as Nick either didn't actually pay attention to the movie or don't understand Alex. Taylor read the book 8 times. Matthew and Nick, the two most important people in regards to his performance, have nothing but praise for him.

Taylor is Alex, just as Nick is Henry.

Hopefully after a while these stupid "opinions" die down and only intelligent/genuine/constructive comments will be left and things will get better. And I truly hope Taylor can see more support than insults. He doesn't deserve any of this.

I'm sorry that this has affect you, and I understand it. Honestly this is why I don't directly look at tags, especially the actors' tag, block whoever I don't wanna see or deal with, and don't go on Twitter.

Just from my experience on dealing with shit like this, I would say give yourself some distance from RWRB and social media for a bit, even if it's a day or two, and come back when it hurts less. Take a bit of a break. And avoid places you know you will see shit like this as much as you can.

Both of the boys did amazing, and imo perfectly in the movie and in these roles, and they deserve all the love and support. Both of them.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince #nicholas galitzine #taylor zakhar perez #rwrb thoughts #Anon ask #answered #meraki essay

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artbyblastweave · 3 months

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So on balance I generally do enjoy Mark Millar, and a big part of why I enjoy Mark Millar is that a lot of his superhero stuff demonstrates the same awareness about the genre that Worm does- the sense of an unstable equilibrium, that the center cannot hold in the superhero universe as typically presented. Jupiter's Legacy, Super Crooks, Old Man Logan, Wanted, The Ultimates. Arguably Civil War. I have a whole other post buried in my drafts about how that bleak throughline keeps cropping up in his cape work. Specifically in his cape work, also- the man has written a lot of lighthearted, at times almost cloyingly sincere and optimistic one-off miniseries in other genres. Starlight: The Return Of Duke McQueen, Huck, Chrononauts, Beyond. In tension with this cynicism about the capes is the fact that he also clearly believes that superheroes are really cool, and on some fundamental level a really deeply noble and empowering idea. Even Wanted, which is probably the most thoroughly tasteless thing of his that I've read all the way through, I recall as having had this interesting subtext of anger over the fact that there's an audience for a superhero work as cynical and grotesque as Wanted. ("Fine. We took all the whimsy and wonder and derring-do you claim to have outgrown out back and shot it. The corpse is cooling. Are you happy yet? Dark enough yet? Mature enough yet? This is what you wanted right?") Anyway, I think Kick-Ass the comic suffers gigantically from a failure to break in one direction or another, in regard to that tension. It gets very, very close to saying useful and interesting things about the genre at several points but keeps undercutting itself by transforming back into the object of its own attack. There's this initial line of questioning, right, which is, "what kind of person, in real life, might actually try this? How would it go?" And the comic has some compellingly miserable answers to that question! Everyone in costume is chasing the same power fantasy, clinging to the idea of being somebody. Dave is, in his own words, motivated by "the right combination of loneliness and despair," and he's not competent. He alternates between minor wins and brutal hospitalizations, the first two issues and change is just the world punishing him for being dumb enough to try this, and for the most part he's a LARPer, a self-identified asshole. Red Mist is a rich kid playing with his father's money. Big Daddy and Hit-girl are framed as the "real deal", genuinely competent in their ability to dish out violence, and the comic to some extent has the self-awareness to recognize that people who were actually any good at this would be even more horrifying than the LARPers. The Reveal that Big Daddy was an accountant- that he made up a tragic backstory and made his daughter a human weapon in order to pursue an escapist fantasy- genuinely lands like a meteor! But it fucks it up, because it also needs to be cool, cool enough to keep our attention, and so it pulls an about face. The horror of Hit-girl gets subsumed by the realization that she's also the coolest thing in the whole book, almost loadbearing in terms of having actually cool and interesting things happen on-panel, and so the end of the book turns into the exact kind of superviolent revenge story it was initially skewering as unrealistic and disconnected from the much more grounded grief and loss Dave is experiencing at the start of the book. Dave's costumed escapades goes from being an obviously stupid and egotistical attempt to claw back control of his life to... an actual method by which he claws back control of his life, and not in a way that feels terribly well-earned!

The sequels double down on this- alternating between "in real life this would be cheap and stupid and tinged with anticlimax" and "woooo! Let's ape Tarantino until something cool happens!" and honestly, that feels less worthy of analysis because what I'm pretty sure happened there is that the movie blew up and created A Demand For More Kick-Ass. In general what it feels like fundamentally happened here is that you ask, "what if superheroes were real," you land on the answer of "they'd look stupid, be stupid and die badly," but what does that leave you with? It's not like that wasn't the obvious answer already and it's definitely not eight issues of material. He can't pull the trigger on having everyone involved die badly in meanspirited ways to drive the point home, and he never quite threads the needle back to the reconstructive middle ground he badly wants the book to inhabit, the "real heroes work in soup kitchens and look out for their neighbors" area. Things just happen.

That said, the gag about the astroturfed swear-word "Tunk" is fantastic. 10/10, no notes

#kick-ass #thoughts #meta

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randomjreader · 2 years

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Thank you @azfellco for explaining to me the situation

Honestly, if you want my opinion? I think this whole thing is so stupid, because how is it that after all these months Kit STILL has queerbaiting allegations??

First of all, STOP. ASSUMING. KIT'S (OR ANYONE'S). SEXUALITY. PLEASE. How many more times must the poor guy say that he's comfortable with his own sexuality and just doesn't want to disclose it to the public for personal reasons for people to LEAVE HIM ALONE. Like my god, how can someone watch a show like heartstopper then immediately start contributing to this toxic culture of forcing people out of the closet for your own selfish reasons? There's literally a whole storyline of how badly affected Charlie Spring was after being outed, but that CLEARLY flew over their heads for some reason. It's ridiculous. We're not his friends. We're not his family. We. Are. Just. Fans. We are entitled to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about his personal life.

Secondly, if for all those who are just so insistent that Kit just HAS to be straight because he held hands with someone of the opposite sex, and therefore should not be playing a queer character, do you even hear yourselves? I've already spoken in depth about my views on straight actors playing queer characters, my general message being that I think it's completely fine so long as they have been handling it respectfully and giving the community the respect it deserves, something I believe Kit has done wonderfully. But more than that, what's up with this weird assumption that someone is definitely heterosexual if they are in a heterosexual relationship??? There is more to sexuality than gay or straight. Take Maia for example. She is openly part of the LGBTQ community, so are y'all going to tell her she's straight and has been lying the whole time, simply because of that few second clip? I DIDN'T THINK SO. This is literally just promoting bi erasure, pan erasure, erasure of any sexuality that isn't simply attracted to the same sex (AND ON BISEXUAL VISIBILITY MONTH TOO???). Once again, how did you watch heartstopper, hear nick nelson say "I still like girls, but I like boys too." AND THEN GO AND DO THIS. I'm convinced some of these people just didn't watch the show and became fans through tiktok edits or something.

Finally, say that they are dating. So what? How does Kit and Maia's personal relationship affect Kit's job as an actor in heartstopper in any way shape or form? Were these people expecting Joe and Kit to get married or something? Or for neither of them to be in relationships with other people ever? I know that they're both the perfect portrayals of Nick and Charlie, but at the end of the day THESE ARE CHARACTERS THAT THEY ARE PLAYING. None of the relationships in shows or movies, romantic especially, need to be translated to real life for us to enjoy the work. If you're that type of person, then by that logic Kit and Maia are technically bringing on screen romance off screen, since they're starring in ACGGTTAT together. Seriously, you can't expect actors to bring every single romantic relationship they portray on screen into real life, that's entirely unrealistic. Also, while I understand the curiosity behind our faves' relationship statuses, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't guilty of that, at the end of the day it's really none of our business (going back to the point of how we are just fans and are owed nothing by public figures). If they're dating, that's great, I'm happy for them. If they're not? Also cool, we love to see a wholesome friendship. Speculate if you must, but don't go digging around the internet for evidence or god forbid, start harassing Kit or Maia about this. Just keep your theories to yourself or at most talk about it casually in a little chat with friends or something. Let's not blow this up into a huge thing and just let them be yeah?

So that's my two cents on this whole situation. Dating or not, I can't wait to see them both in ACGGTTAT, and ofc, I can't wait for season 2 of heartstopper <3

#kit connor #maia reficco #heartstopper #heartstopper cast #a cuban girl's guide to tea and tomorrow #joe locke #nick nelson #charlie spring #nick and charlie #lila reyes #orion maxwell

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dragon-snoots-a-boopin · 9 months

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Alright, I don't typically comment on stuff like this but, I can't not do that since this is something in the Transformers community that is just absolutely wild.

The fact that Nightshade from Transformers: Earthspark is causing such controversary is driving me up the wall with the amount of stupid takes I've been about this. It's literally a little over one minute part of a 22 minute episode wherein Nightshade tells one of the humans that their pronouns are they/them and the human says their pronouns are she/they and that is the extent of it.

And, of course, all the conservatives are having such a problem with it. I've seen people calling this "revolting" "disgusting" and saying that "they're after your kids" or "felt uncomfortable and unnecessary" which has to be some of the stupidest ones yet, saying that this one minute part of a 22 minute episode is going to brainwash your kids. No one said that conservatives were smart. Though, the worst of the worst one said "The worst part is they imply that the world is evil and you can only trust non-binary people. This is the most sinister message you can send to a child. Absolutely revolting" which like most of that was never specified in that single minute part of the episode. There's is, of course, the typical thing of these conservatives calling this "leftist propaganda that must be repelled" like I just can't roll my eye any harder at the absolutely stupid shit these people are saying about this one minute part of a 22 minute episode that's apart of a season of show that is 26 episodes long.

Now, first thing to me is to throw part of this right back at them. I can't tell you how many military movies that I've gone to the theater to see with my dad (he likes military movies) and those movies will very often have advertising for one or two branches of the military before the movies starts. Plus, on the behind the scenes of military movies they will often talk about putting the actors through training and will gush on and on about how great whatever branch of the military is helping with the movie and it just turns the movie into pro-military propaganda which the conservatives have zero problem with, of course. Yeah, a whole two and a half hour movie of military propaganda and yet this is how they react to a one minute part of a 22 minute episode of a cartoon for kids.

Now, the part of this I really want to talk about that, for as long as I have been apart of the Transformers community, has never made sense to me. WHY DO TRANSFORMING ROBOTS NEED TO BE GENDERED TO BEGIN WITH??? I believe that these Cybertronians probably wouldn't have specific pronouns like he/him or she/her because they're just autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron. You know why I think people gave these robots genders at all? Because in G1, someone said they needed more diverse characters in the show/comics and thus they introduced the "fembots".

I'm sorry for the hardcore G1 fans but this design is horribly outdated and is just painful to look at. Why the hell did they ever design these characters this way??? Also, the problem is just G1 either but also it leaked into Transformers Prime as well.

Just tell me why all these robots have to have that stereotypical and wholly unrealistic hourglass shape to them??? To me, it's honestly more disgusting and revolting to see these character designs this way because the hourglass shape is just an unrealistic body shape expectation.

Look, I have not watched Transformers: Earthspark because I don't have Paramount Plus and don't want to pay for another streaming service just for one show. But, I don't see anything wrong with Nightshade wanting to have they/them pronouns because I believe that all Transformers characters should be they/them anyway and that they should do a serious redesign of these "fembots". Alien robots shouldn't have these hourglass shapes or angular chests to basically be implied boobs. If this makes people unfollow me then so be it but, I am all for Nightshade and am rooting for them to cause some sort of change in the Transformers franchise as a whole in the future. I may not have watched Earthspark and I hope that someday I can. I hope they release all the episodes on DVD or something. But, I know that regardless of that, I will definitely buy Nightshade's deluxe class figure because I am rooting for them. Keep it up, Nightshade.

#rant #transformers #transformers g1 #transformers earthspark #nightshade #hasbro #transformers prime

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2010s-nostalgia · 2 months

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frozen hate discussion??? 👀👀 take my hand

no but really. even just aside from how they took a pretty good fairy tale and did... um, nothing with it? nothing interesting at least, frozen is still just a mediocre movie with bad designs and music that's really just okay.

what really bothers me more than anything else is that frozen just comes off as cynical. it's making fun of older movies that are better than it.

every single time someone tries to make a fairy tale edgy/adult or feels the need to point out every unrealistic aspect about it an angel dies. "you can't marry a man you just met" represents a fundamental misunderstanding of both the genre and the disney movies based on it. it's this annoying tongue-in-cheek tone and utter pessimism that quite literally sucks all the magic out of the movie, and then they have the balls to make fun of better films. it's just cynical and grating and honestly coming from disney itself just annoys me. oh you think snow white and cinderella are unrealistic? you think love at first sight is stupid? should we throw a party? should we invite buzzfeed.

whereas movies like shrek, which also try to deconstruct the fairy tale/disney genre, actually work because instead of someone busting out an "erm, actually!" line every five minutes or pulling some cheap twist, they simply tell a story that reverses the tropes. and there's no moment in shrek where the movie turns to the audience and goes "you dumb dumb fuck ass idiots came here to see a fairy tale? well fuck you! twist villain attack!"

I don't much care for tangled either but at least you can tell it was made in earnest. also literally everything frozen was applauded for has been done better before. the sisters thing? lilo and nani have an actual bond. playboy villain? gaston. taking time to fall in love? beauty and the beast? tarzan? hercules? literally like most disney movies? anna and kristoff were together for like a week before saying I love you. get real.

okay thanks mod love your blog <3

I agree with everything. Honestly, making fun of past movies would be okay if it succeeded at all. Enchanted exists, it made the same points, and it worked soooo well. In Frozen, Anna is told she can't marry a man she just met, then gets with Kristoff within like two days. Love's not supposed to be a major part of the story? A whole song is sung by the love interests' family about how they should get together (they get together later). So much of the movie is focused on a romance with so little chemistry instead of being about the sister relationship the film claims to be about!

I should say I don't hate Frozen. It's fine, but I don't want fine, ya know? I want great!!! (Also didn't love Tangled either. Idk what management change happened in the animation department in the mid 2000s, but they really lost the groove around that time. Maybe Bob did a shake up)

#asks #and thank you!!!

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elatedandexasperated · 9 months

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So there's been some discussion on RWRB actually being a "gay movie"

Most posts I've seen have more or less summarized that the movie is effectively a "straight romance" featuring a mlm coupling, which annoys me a bit. I can't say that this take is entirely wrong per say - I mean, I've called it basically a Hallmark movie, which I still think is true - but it's not devoid of queer experience like a lot of people seem to think it is...

and that "Hallmark" comparison, which I still stand behind, I feel comes more from structure than content.

You can take the film at face value or read deeper into it and still find a case for this argument. Most of this pertains to the movie alone, I'm personally in the camp that if you're going to analyze a piece of media, it should stand on its own. So while the book may have different expressions and levels of inclusion, remember, it's a book, not a 2-hour time boxed movie

Production

Right off the bat we have the movie's production. I'm not going into speculation on TZP or NG's sexuality out of respect, neither have confirmed or denied being part of the community and that's frankly their business and privacy. In a bit I will go into the text of the film regarding the characters, but I don't want to drag the actors into this any further than saying they did an excellent job portraying the characters.

Lopez, though, who is publicly out as gay, as well as McQuistion who is NB, have both put their messaging and perspectives on queer experience into the book and by extension the film and that much is very clear through things like the inclusion of Intimacy Coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt (another Gay man) as a way of trying to keep the intimate scenes grounded and realistic. So in the production alone there were clear attempts to visually represent authentic queer experiences. I think this is honestly the main reason why the main relationship is so compelling: the actors vibed well with each other (to the point that it was the initial feud that seemed contrived and unrealistic, which is just hilarious to me) and the coordinator worked with everyone collaboratively to keep things grounded, realistic, and to prevent it from going too far into the realm of fetishization from a visual standpoint.

As for the writing, we obviously are going to see most of the relatable queer experiences pop up in the lead roles:

Henry

Henry's character is arguably where the representation of queer experience is most explicit - at least from a level that regular (read straight) viewers would get without a lot of hand holding. At a surface level there's the classic "what will my family think?" questioning and general anxiety of being outed. Most of us in the community can relate to that, but in all honesty this is pretty standard fare and not the meat and potatoes of why I wanted to write this, what I am now realizing, unreasonably long rant breakdown *inhales*

ANYWAY.

At a deeper level though, Henry's struggle isn't so much internal as it is external. Yes there's internal angst still about being able to love openly, but in the film it's pretty clear that a good chunk of his family is aware of his sexuality (the statement that the king had a conversation with him when he was 18, him being open with Bea, etc.); He's also pretty confident in his sexuality already (he fairly easily explains his sexuality to Alex, and has confidence in his sexual experience). I'll go into this when we talk about Alex more, but I think this stems from the characters being aged up, but what this also does is shifts the narrative from simply "coming out" to dealing with abusive relatives and power systems after you've come to terms with who you are as a person, and then finding the strength to actually fight them once you've built up your support network.

And progress isn't linear for anyone on this - we relapse, mourn old relationships with people and family we thought would support us, and sometimes silence ourselves because "it's easier"; we see this happen with Henry pretty explicitly when he runs from the lake house. The reconciliation with Alex isn't flawless either: Henry requests time and patience with things so he can slowly begin his process of actually tackling the issue of how his sexuality and relationship with Alex relates to and impacts his professional duties. Alex, in true found-family style, gives him the support that he both wants and needs at that point in the story.

Alex

Alex's portrayal in the film I think has been the more controversial of the two (Not in terms of actor choice, TZP is a fantastic actor... Also fine as hell but that's beside the point). Most people who read the book criticize his relatively short "Bi-panic" period and how they felt it was more fleshed out in the book. Again, we're dealing with a time boxed movie here, so obviously the book will have more details. That being said, I don't think it was as unrealistic as people make it out to be if you dig a bit. This part gets a bit speculative, but stick with me here.

While I can't relate to a Bi coming out being a gay man and all, I think people should look at some context regarding the character's background: Alex is an incredibly flirtatious, personable, and media-savvy character who is also steeped in left-leaning politics. He knows what bisexuality is and given that he had a few same-sex experiences, has probably come to terms with that before his conversation with Nora in her office. In that scene he even stated that being into guys was something he understood for himself, his main source of "panic" was more the realization that he was specifically into Henry, someone he was actually angry and antagonistic with for several years.

As for why he seemed trepid first telling Henry he was Bi, and this is speaking from experience, there's a huge difference between coming to terms with who you're attracted to and putting a label on it for the first time, even to yourself. I think TZP acted that awkwardness well, especially in the Paris scene where, to shift gears a bit, the driving queer experience is Alex's inexperience with going that far with other guys, something most of us go through at some point. And again, in good, supportive fashion, Henry guides Alex through the process without judgement.

Alex and Henry

Both Alex and Henry are older in the movie than they are in the book, a fact that Lopez confirmed via interview. Even though it's only a few years, there's a huge difference in understanding your identity between your late-teens/early 20s and your mid 20s (generally speaking, people can come out at any age and that's completely fine. Everyone deserves to come out at their own pace and in their own way). With this, I think they did a good Job shifting the narrative from the more internal conflict of "who am I", which is very common in teen-centered dramas, to the more nuanced experience of figuring out how "Who I am" is going to impact your relationships and professional life, which I think is more befitting older characters. With Alex, it's how it will look to voters/impact on his mother's reelection AND how it impacts Henry's professional responsibilities; with Henry, it's his duties to the royal family and appearances.

*PHEW*

There's a lot more too when you dig. A personal... Um, well "favorite" isn't a great word, but you get my point - is how some members of the community will actively sabotage others for personal gain: Miguel outing them for the sake of professional ambitions (and maybe some light petty retribution for Alex dumping him, wherein Alex was justified) is unfortunately a pretty common experience.

I'm sure that there will be more to add for this if there's a sequel, which I hope there is and that they bring McQuiston in for (talk about marketing: she writes the outline based on the movie and the novel based on the first book which releases at the same time as the second movie. People would go nuts I'm sure).

Asides

We as a community spent years reading into media to find scraps of representation because that's all we could get, but I think we're not great at reading into it with more explicit movies that, while maybe building themselves off of "traditional" genre frameworks, still have those queer experiences. I think we set our standards too high sometimes because we are so starved for representation. What we got in this movie is, at least in my opinion, decent representation and authentic experiences for many people in our community, it's just subtle and maybe requires a deeper read of a character or scene. I picked up on some of these points and I hope other people can see some of the arguments I'm making here.

As a complete aside, I think we've been brainwashed a bit to think that "queer experiences = struggle" automatically and we're too quick to disregard queer media as "not gay enough" if there's not a suitable amount of angst or a particular identity isn't represented (This is NOT me minimizing the struggles of the LGBT+ community, just making a statement that maybe we shouldn't hinge our identities and portrayals in media on such negative experiences). Gay stories don't have to be tragic or full of existential crisis as it pertains to our identity. And while maybe unrealistic, some good fluff is healthy to see alongside the angst. As we progress as a culture and we become more accepted, struggle hopefully becomes less and less a unifying aspect of queer identity and we'll be able to see that reflected in our media.

tl;dr

I think the movie has more going for it in terms of queer experience than people give it credit for, it's just not what's typically seen in visual media and is buried in there a bit deeper. Just because it's a "Hallmark movie" structurally and plays into tropes doesn't mean it's not gay.

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #matthew lopez #robbie taylor hunt #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #long reads #ramblings

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filminghere · 4 months

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15 People, 15 Questions

Tagged by @norashelley. Thank you so much for the tag, Rose! I won't tag 15 people, but anyone who wants to do this, please feel free! I'll tag @sonnet77 @glamourofyesteryear @ladybegood @audreytotter @valsemelancolique @summers-in-hollywood and @oldhollywoodholla

1. Are you named after anyone?

Technically, the Biblical figure (mother of John the Baptist & cousin of Mary, the mother of Christ).

2. When was the last time you cried?

Earlier today while I was reading! I cry very easily when I watch movies/videos, read books, hear touching stories, etc. Today though, I cried for a very odd reason (I didn't cry because something in the story touched me, which is usually why I cry while reading a book; I actually cried because I related too hard to the protag).

3. Do you have kids?

No.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did a lot of sports during elementary school that I was bad at lol. I was never good at anything athletic. The sports I did the longest were swimming and tae kwon do (was at least able to get a first degree black belt before quitting).

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Hm, not too often, I don't think. My problem is that I'm too honest/blunt; I don't have the wit to be able to use sarcasm 😅.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their face. And the thing I notice first about their face is their nose. I focus a lot on nose shapes lol.

7. What’s your eye color?

Dark, dark, dark brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings 100%!!! I'm not scared of scary movies, but I really don't enjoy them.

9. Any talents?

Art

10. Where were you born?

In a hospital in the United States of America haha

11. What are your hobbies?

Watching movies, reading books, writing, video editing

12. Do you have any pets?

No. I had two Zebra finches until pretty recently, but then one of them died, and I didn't want to get another finch (Zebra finches shouldn't be alone). We actually had gotten another finch after one died a few years back, and I didn't want to be in an endless cycle of getting a new finch every time one of them died. It was too emotionally taxing, and honestly, I don't think I'm a very good pet owner. I don't think I'm someone who personally wants to put in the time and care you should put into raising pets, so we gave the living finch away to a woman who owns several Zebra finches. And to be clear, it's not that we bought the birds and regretted them! They were given to my family because the original owner just had too many birds. I liked them a lot and wish I could've done more for them; I didn't really put serious care into them until later on, and I regret that a lot now. But the living finch is doing well in his new home now.

13. How tall are you?

5'2"

14. Favorite subject in school?

Literature. I did not have the capacity to pay attention during any class except in lit class because I enjoy reading and talking about books.

15. Dream job?

As of now, it's to be a children's novelist-illustrator (I don't want to say a writer-illustrator because I think that gives the impression that I want to write picture books, but I actually want to write middle grade novels with illustrations in them 😂). I finished a manuscript for a book a few months back, but it's taking me FOREVER to do the illustration part. So who knows when I'll actually finish it and if I'll actually be able to put it out...

Unrealistically, I really want to be a criminal investigator, but I don't think I have any of the skills needed for that kind of a job. And I know most criminal investigators start out as cops, and I know I don't have the skills to be a cop lol.

#personal #tag game #text

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incognitajones · 4 months

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Fic author interview

Thanks to @sesamestreep and @glorious-spoon for tagging me in this one over the holidays! But between starting the new job and the holidays and the RCSS, it totally slipped my mind until now 😬

No-pressure tagging: @anghraine, @ladytharen, @luciechat, and anyone else who feels like it.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

An even 200 if I include both accounts.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Just under 650K words altogether.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Last Train

I fought the war (but the war won)

left-handed kisses

Fixer Upper

Chain Reaction

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I want to let commenters know they're appreciated, and I enjoy talking about little details or plot turns. Lately I haven't had the time or energy for much more than a quick thank you, but I'm still trying to respond.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At one point it would've been the bad ending of I fought the war, but now I think this Whumptober piece takes the crown.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Considering canon, most of them have an unrealistically happy ending! Especially inside the vastness of the galaxy, the "Naomi & Filip get a happy reunion" story.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No. I enjoy writing & reading some fusions (i.e. characters from one canon in the setting of another) but traditional crossovers in which characters from two different canons meet don't generally appeal to me.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on AO3, but I've been sent anon hate on Tumblr about my writing a couple of times (find a Reylo writer who hasn't challenge).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, a fair bit - in fact it's hard to remember sometimes that I never wrote anything explicit before 2016! It's all pretty vanilla, though, minus a few attempts at kinkier stuff which are deservedly anonymous.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Kind of; someone commented on one of my stories on AO3 to tell me that another story had copied significant parts of it. (They'd already commented on and reported the other fic, so I didn't take any additional action. The plagiarizing story was eventually deleted.)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Bless the fandom translators, for they are amazing.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nothing posted publically.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I couldn't possibly choose a single favourite! In terms of longevity, it's either Han/Leia or Eowyn/Faramir. And Star Wars ships in general seem to have a strong hold on me 😁

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The OT3 whumpfic. It's nearly done, but it's far outside my usual wheelhouse so without a beta reader, I can't tell whether it's worth finishing or beyond help.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write decent dialogue, and I'm genuinely proud of the ideas behind I fought the war and pulse to pulse. I can also write a pretty good pastiche of 19C style, although you wouldn't know it from this account.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting. Falling back on boring/clichéd beats to flesh out dialogue-heavy scenes.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

A sentence or so? Sure. Can't think of a reason to do much more than that.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It would be either Buffy or Lord of the Rings - I honestly don't remember - not counting the terrible Shannara-fic I wrote as a pre-teen.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Someday I'd really like to write a Children of Men story telling what happened to Kee and [spoiler] after the movie, plus fixing [spoiler].

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Subject to change by the moment, of course, but looking back at some older stories recently reminded me that I've always been pretty fond of don't go home without me.

#i did the thing #tag you're it #writing memes

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system-of-a-feather · 5 months

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Nostalgic Campfire Rambles: Childhood Fictive -> Primary Host Ramble

I feel that is a good title to summarize what this is generally probably going to be centered on cause I got back from watching the new Wonka movie, and I always forget how much "Pure Imagination" and it's variants and the themes surrounding and shows that use it have always really hit home a lot as a part

Cause for those that don't know (which I don't think I've talked much about it because I personally don't even think back to it often let alone talk about it) before being host, before being really anything, I was originally introjected first and foremost as a "knight" "guardian" and imaginary play friend to keep our previous host at the time both company, having fun exploring both internally and in external play, and to generally keep said host and a few other parts hopeful and believing in a better end for us than what most of the system really stuck with.

And when childhood moves resulted in a lot of social stress and high pressure demands to adapt to new environments and make friends rapidly, I ended up also taking on social protector for a combination of positive and negative reasons, but one of which being that my ability to both engage other kids with fun imaginative worlds to self express in and ALSO my affinity to appeal to those struggling / outcasted by the fact I solely existed to accompany a traumatized outcasted child made me very good - as a child - for making friends.

And at the core of it, that was 85% of my function and existence for the first like 5-7 years of me "existing" and I always forget - having been primary host for at least 8 years now - that I was not *meant* to be out this long, that I wasn't *meant* to be host, that I wasn't *meant* to be a complex or elaborate part or anything like that.

And I don't mean that in a derogatory or doomer manner, but more so that the very means of which my perception and way of approaching the world was solely meant to be used as a survival mechanism in shitty situations to nurse and soothe high levels of distress. I'm *supposed* to be unbelievable, undying, and unrealistic hope and optimism that the system can blindly believe in when they are at the lowest of lows and that isn't *supposed* to be something that is meant to be kept up for *eight years* as the *primary fronter*.

And I forget just how extremely hard and long it took to modify the shit I was "given" and reconstruct it into something that could work as a host.

And I remember back in the first like 5-6 years of being "host", I almost always approached it as a "I am here just to fix it so that one of the True Owners can come back to a better life" and for those 5-6 years, being a "host" was a temporary job I "stepped up to" (more so got chucked it after one of the two original hosts completely dipped into dormancy and the other one already had 'given up on reality') until it was safe for one of the two to take their life back.

But over the years, and a lot of DID focused therapy, did I realize it was very much not going to happen and that this was a "for the foreseeable future" position and that if it were to change, it would almost certainly be through fusion / splitting rather than anything else. And it was a really guilty thing to realize for the first half year to a year and it was something that really didn't work for the longest time.

Honestly it only worked because I have one of the most fucking complex subsystems (which we fuse and unfuse regularly these days as its convenient) which made it possible to be functioning at an IMPOSSIBLY unsustainable manner for so long.

These days, being host is a lot more sustainable and easier and its honestly most of what I know and I'm good with that because I've really learned how to live As A Host in a sustainable way and really managed to hang up my "caretaker" and "protector" default lens in favor for a default host lense. Instead I pick those lenses up as they are helpful and it's done a lot to help my mental state, functioning, etc etc

But every so often, I think back to where I came from as a part in specific, and I realize.... despite all that growth, all that splitting and fusion that honestly leaves me HARDLY identifying with my source at all, I still very much operate on the same "machinery" of my original split-function as a very core aspect of how I engage with the world, the system, and how I just perceive things.

If anything, parts split and fused and shaped partially around it, to make it so that my natural nature and my role could co-exist sustainably - its part of why XIV and I are a "must have" duo for either of us to sustainably host.

But in the end of the day? I, as a part, am still a part very deeply driven by a very ideal and desired image of what I want to see and what I want to make happen in our life and in the world. I have very clear images of what I intend to see and intend to do and I am really anchored in making that a reality and making people - internal and external - believe in my ability to make that a reality.

I always have done that, I just have gone and taken it to the real world and our system had to adapt to the fact that its not something you can really separate from me as a part and thus something that we had to work safety plans and adaptations around as to make it possible to be undyingly dedicated and fully confident in my own vision. And it's honestly kind of an unnatural and unwavering confidence, dedication, and stubborn patience that I think really only comes from someone who originally split off as a fucking Shounen Protagonist troped character who sat around talking about escaping and exploring far away worlds and the conflicts of light and dark and nothingness and overcoming shit and all that crap.

I don't really operate well in a way of "I dream" or "I want" or "it would be nice" because I don't - from my original splitting off purpose - have the understanding of having luxury of being at all unsure or doubting in my vision of a better future for our system. It's all "I will" and "when I", because growing up, within my original function, if we were in crisis and completely low on hope - telling the traumatized depressed and desperate kid I existed to be the hopeful best buddy of that "I hope" and "I would like" and "I dream" that we would be able to be happy, be free, have anything worth living for, would not suffice to keep us alive and engaged in our own survival.

Back then, there wasn't room for "it would be nice" - there was only room for me to AUTHENTICALLY say and believe "Hey, you know, when we get the chance, we will go out and do this, we will have this and that and we will have these things to make sure we are always happy and safe. Of course we will because I have a plan. I know what we are doing, where we are going, and I know how to navigate obstacles. As long as you stay with me, I promise, there is no world where I will fail to show you that future that we can make when we get the chance"

And for better or worse, it's really gotten us far. It came at a huge fucking cost because the sheer number of times I had huge mental breakdowns and massive collapses and the system had scary crisis moments back when we were trying to figure out a way to keep me mentally sane WHILE literally having other severely depressed and suicidal parts literally (they had admitted it) waiting for *me* to give up and loose faith so they could feel ok *fully giving up* and thus forcing me to sustain the unrealistic and unsustainable sense of confidence and vision.... but like

Honestly, ever since XIV has been co-host, that hasn't been an issue because the two of us serve as eachother's "hope providing unwavering best friend" so now that there are two of us, we can both alternate and fill in for one another in the system when one of us is "down" and we can also serve the same role back to pull one another up.

And its been like three years or so since we established that dynamic and it really almost completely negated the "unsustainable" nature of the whole way our part of the brain approaches things and instead almost like... developed a "infinite unwavering confidence and faith in our ability to make whatever we think of a reality glitch" cause XIV and I loop endlessly in supporting one another and both of us exude enough dedication, ruthlessness, and vision to provide hope and engagement to the entire system

And it's really neat. Cause for the most part - this whole thing also applies to XIV as we are split from the same "original introject", we just both internalized and adapted our original functions in VERY drastically different ways.

But I dunno, I was just feeling a bit nostalgic and wanted to ramble and share. Feel free to chat and comment and add on if you like to this. This isn't really a vent but just kinda a "I wanted to share a story / reflection with you all" and so I gladly welcome and encourage anyone to be nostalgic and/or ramble and/or chat about anything this post might bring up in yall

Imagine we are at a cozy campfire in the forest with clear skies and bright stars just sharing the story of our lives. If you all wanna share, its the nature of the campfire and are more than welcome

I honestly might make that a tag "nostalgic campfire rambles"

-----

(Endos and anyone who identifies as someone with DID, someone with a CDD, plural, and/or a system are welcome to engage in this post. We're just out here chatting about life and existence, it doesn't have to be clinical or too serious and I just like chatting)

#nostalgic campfire rambles #alter: riku #fictive #fictional introject #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #sysconversation #conversysion #system conversation #endos welcome #endos safe

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starr-angelofnarnia · 10 months

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OK OK I have to talk about Barbie!

I went and saw the Barbie movie on Friday. I don't typically go to movies when they are in theaters because my adhd doesn't handle sitting quietly still for an extended period of time. But marketing for this movie was on point and I had to go see it.

In short, with no spoilers, I loved it. There were a few bits of the story that could have better, but overall, it was a wonderful movie. So I want to discuss it but I'm hiding the rest under the cut because there are spoilers.

Also, I have to say that the criticism that the movie is inappropriate for children though it was marketed to young children is hilarious. It was not marketed to children; it was marketed to the millennial women who grew up with Barbie at its most controversial. Not once did I see a marketing campaign and think, "this is perfect for children!"

I digress...

Didn't Like: Ruth and Barbie's Conversation to the Last Joke

Getting out of the way what I didn't like: basically the ending. I appreciate the point that was trying to be made, that ideas live on, that humans live on through what they put into the world. But I personally don't feel it was done effectively. The scene where Barbie talks with Ruth is weird and doesn't flow with the previous scene. And the gynecologist joke that closed the film took away from this message. Read somewhere that the end came to Gerwig in a dream, and it honestly looks like it (but not in a good way).

Liked: References to Discontinued Dolls

All the jabs at discontinued Barbies (would have been cool if they would have had a scene of Midge giving birth like they had with growing up Skipper) were hilarious. I appreciate that Mattel didn't shy away from the cringier dolls in the collection. And I personally think that's a sign of strength, being able to learn from your mistakes. I did find an article about other dolls that could have been included, which I'll link below.

Liked: Sasha's Criticism of Barbie Being Anti-Feminist

Sasha's speech about how Barbie has set women back because it's a valid argument that many people have made. I grew up with concerns that Barbie was giving girls body image issues, that she gave men unrealistic expectations for women, and that her portrayal isn't even biologically possible. And for a bit, I fell into this line of thinking. Though it was never Barbie giving me unrealistic expectations for my body, it was images of celebrities that did. But acknowledging this criticism makes the film far more powerful than if they'd ignored it completely.

Loved: Barbie Encourages Ken to Find an Identity Outside of Her

One of the criticisms I've heard was how pathetic Ken is as a character. But I think that's the point. For one, this is how women are often portrayed in films centered around men. For once, the man was the damsel in distress. Second, after the Kendom falls, Barbie encourages Ken to create an identity for himself outside of being "with Barbie". The Barbies aren't trying to put the men down in restoring Barbie Land (a common criticism) but encourage the Kens to be more than Barbie's companion. (Side note: the word patriarchy was used too much; it became a cringey buzzword after a while.) Finally, Ken didn't get the girl so to speak. Women should be free to have men as friends without it becoming a romantic relationship. Barbie loves Ken platonically and that doesn't change.

Loved: Barbie's Emotional Confession and Gloria's Response

I've seen tons of praise for Gloria's monologue about the complexities of being a girl. And this was definitely a highlight of the movie. But I haven't seen as much praise for the events that led to this: Barbie's grief about not being good enough. I cried during this part of the movie because it was so relatable. I constantly feel this way, that I'm not good enough. This was such an emotional scene and it really resonated with me.

Final Thoughts:

I hope that this shows men some of the struggles of women that they often overlook.

I love that Greta Gerwig was able to support trans people without taking away from what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. (Part of what the gyno joke was)

The soundtrack is fire. The only thing that could have made it better is a song from queen Taylor Swift. Also don't know why Ken's cover of Push couldn't have been included

BTW, links where I got my information and pictures

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT88cVS2U/

https://nypost.com/2023/07/27/greta-gerwigs-barbie-features-discontinued-dolls-like-allan/amp/

https://www.dexerto.com/tv-movies/did-barbie-shade-bratz-in-the-new-movie-trailer-2159598/

https://www.ok.co.uk/lifestyle/fashion/kenough-tie-dye-hoodie-barbie-30545994

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