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hosticaaa · 4 months

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𝕯𝖆𝖇𝖎 ; Fandom stuff.

How do I tell the fandom that Dabi was a useless, weepy, ill adjusted little runt ( AFFECTIONATE ) who wasn't allowed anywhere near Shoto and not a tall, responsible but troubled older brother figure who mother hen'd his younger siblings, especially Shoto, and that Dabi wasn't close to Shoto or particularly close to Fuyumi either but him and Natsu had a toxic codependent sibling thing going on hard core and I'm so sick of the Natsuo erasure and/or Shoto being put in Natsuo's place when that makes no fucking sense w/o pissing off the Horny Dabi simps who cant let go of bad/outdated flavorless wooby fanon characterization. How do I tell the fandom that their portrayal of the Todoroki family dynamic is severely wrong but can be drastically improved by understanding that while Endeavor ( and to a much lesser extent Rei ) were not actually narcissists, the parenting style at the forefront of the family is almost identical to narcissistic parental abuse and looking into this, along with things such as "Narcissistic devaluation" and the "Scapegoat" and the "Golden Child" explains so much that this fandom can't wrap its head around in regard to the extreme emotional / psychological abuse suffered by the Todoroki children without pissing off the Enji simps neck deep in abuse apology cause their fav has fat dilf tits.

Anyway on that subject children who grew up in households that were heavy on the narcissistic parental abuse often fall into "types" with particular traits and heres the Todorokis to a T ( Not including Shoto because his role is very obviously golden child (Masterpiece) and wasn't ever one of the Scapegoats ("failed creations") I mean I could def put him under "Problem Solver" but since he was never actually a scapegoat child its more complex than that for him so heres just my fav little failures ):

Fuyumi - the caretaker

Scapegoated children may provide emotional and/or physical caretaking to one or more parent/stepparent, functioning as a stand-in best friend, spouse, therapist, or nurse. They may be given household responsibilities such as cleaning, cooking, and caring for siblings, while also being targeted with anger and blame for the family's woes. Often intuitive and empathetic, caretaker scapegoats can become powerful healers as adults. But if they continue to prioritize the needs of others over their own they are likely to experience anxiety, poor self-care, resentment, and burnout.

Natsuo - the protector

Children in the protector role step in to defend a parent and/or younger sibling(s) from the dominant narcissist's verbal and/or physical abuse. Such children may be driven to try to protect family members because of their own experience with being scapegoated, or they may become scapegoated in the family system as a result of standing up to the abuse. As adults, children who have confronted the aggression of abusers may become fierce and compassionate advocates for justice and the underprivileged. But they often struggle to recognize their own limits, vulnerability, and need for support.

Toya - the collapsed

Some scapegoated children experience such harsh neglect and abuse, with few sources of support to build resiliency, that they fail to thrive and become mentally unstable, chronically ill, suicidal, institutionalized, homeless, consumed by addiction, and/or incarcerated. As adults, they may experience a trajectory of low functioning, repeated crises, or collapse that ends tragically in early death by illness, addiction, suicide, or violence. Kids who are "different" in some way, such as queer or neuro-atypical, are often targets of extreme scapegoating, both within their family and society at large.

#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ 𝒯𝒶𝑔 ↝ From The Mun ⊱#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ ℳ𝓊𝓈𝑒 ↝ Dabi ⊱#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ ℱ𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓂 ↝ My Hero Academia ⊱#Dabi headcanons #Dabi also has a hint of the rebel but hes obviously not healthy enough to truly fit it in canon. IN MY vigilante au tho hes def The Rebel.#People may question my placement of Natsu but theyre not remembering hes the first to fly for Enji's throat at the drop of a hat #Enji so much as breaths the wrong way around Natsu and Natsus throwing hands. Iconic behavior honestly.#anyway its another post but I think its very cool that it seems Hori is going hard to avert Dabis fate as the collapsed #extremely sexy of him actually people who say Hori doesnt know what hes doing with the todorokis and that #the recent chapters are OOC/written bad lack so much narrative awareness and media literacy its insane to me they say those takes #with their whole chests and think theyre right get off that mans balls u know nothing like little baby hes doing great with the todorokis #LET GO of bad outdated fanon! Embrace Canon! Stop Erasing Natsuo and Fuyumi & mischaracterizing Dabi TODAY we can do it! PLUS ULTRA!

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fbfh · 2 years

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There's this old reddit post I remember reading about a guy that let his girlfriend peg him just to piss off their neighbours, and listen: I'm not saying it's giving Leo vibes, but...

Just Leo saying "babe, this is the only way"

"I mean, we could probably fake the noises?"

Leo pops open a lube bottle "it's the only way"

Idk, I just thought it was funny.

BSJDJWKNDE YEAH-

Yes he absolutely would. Any minor inconvenience he's like oh jeez, I guess there's only one thing to do :/

It reminds me of that one scene in bones where they have to make this trailer rock like they're banging as a distraction or something?? I can't find the clip but it has the same energy

#leo valdez #leo valdez headcanons #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus headcanon #drabbles #tw smut #tw pegging #I have some mixed feelings about pegging but honestly this is iconic

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shiraiza · 2 years

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Denki Kaminari - Spark Boy in My Hero Ultra Impact

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #denki kaminari #kaminari denki #chargebolt #icons #wallpapers #mhui #ch: ua students #honestly a pretty good SR as far as they go

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merrysithmas · 2 years

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Seeing Ewan McGregor kiss Hayden Christensen in that behind the scenes clip is making me think we should add him to the list of make celebrities that can't stop kissing their coworkers and interviewers. Andrew Garfield is in the lead, but Ewan McGregor has that whole clip where he's like 'You could kiss me now if you like' to a male interviewer from over a decade ago 😭❤️

ive never followed actors - just not interested in celebs in general (apart from the justified hayden christensen renaissance) but i am 1000000% here for anybody exploring their gayness in any way. 2 male leads from a star wars movie make out at a movie premiere!?! GO OFF! ruin straight ppls time! im so proud of them...

like obi-wan and anakin the two most famous characters of all time ... their actors are publically kissing??? kings?? must stan for that alone??? 47 cishet men implode on site.

i'm so glad there's clearly two allies at least (dont know their sexualities) playing ani and obi. makes their star-crossed star-imploding love story that much more compelling, believable, and raw.

and i thank Ewan McGregor profusely for making obi-wan deadass utterly undeniably longingly achingly agonizing in love with Anakin. you did the gays proud, sir. i hope you continue to be chaotic & rad & scottish to your heart's content.

and PLEASE continue to give us that caliber of content from OWK. since he was a producer on that show i give him props. gay gay props. bless him.

#ask #anon #also he's a scot and i respect the scots #and moulin rouge & trainspotting are like two of my all time favs #honestly down with love was great too #all his movies are great #we are blessed to have him play Obi with such talent #also i have to say i was on the Andrew Garfield deserves justice train for like 10 yrs now #he and hayden were my pet projects #who deserved better from homophobic companies or caustic fans who abused them #now im gunning for ahmed best to get his day in the sunshine #the only celebs i know are ones that ppl were mean to 10 yrs ago LMAO #or gay allies #comrades #never forget oscar isaac writing 'fully endorsed' on that finnpoe is endgame fan poster #but like for real i respect the fuck out of them both for kissing in public ... heroes.. icons #unironically #im so impressed

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rosheendubh · 1 year

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AWAY…(have a ficlet From Latticeof Infinity/Elegy of Dead Kingdoms—from this shattered disaster of a crack SpaceRockOpera—the lyrics are from Nightwish’s, ‘Away’. Because some divine being posted 4+ hours of Nighwish’s Top50–and this song embraces quite the Theme of this segment from my particular AU crossover of StarWars-through TTT/HandofcThrawn/Merged Dark Empire1/Shadows of Mindor/events of the YuhzanVong War with Firefly/Serenity, and the Keltiad-squished into the Firefly ‘verse as an Independent system…)

“Away, away, away in time Every dream's a journey away Away, away, to a home away from care Everywhere's just a journey away

Cherish the moment Tower the skies Don't let the dreamer Fade to gray like grass…”

The first time Thrawn kissed Rhyanon it was after he’d destroyed a fair bit of the Galaxy by collapsing the Wormhole connecting the Terran quadrant with the quadrant of the Imperial Remnant still in conflict with the Republic Alliance. He had good intentions, because there was really no other way to slow Abaddon. But, the fallout by anyone’s measure, even megalomaniacs like the long-deceased Sith, Palpatine, proved a little apocalyptic.

Thrawn, of course, had a contingency plan for the survivors, leading them to the old ruins of the 2nd Death Star, which existed in a sort of fluctuating twilight-world of shifting space-time corridors. An after-effect of the cataclysm imploding through the continuums of the meta-verse.

Amid other events leading to this moment, Rhyanon eventually found him kneeling in the sands of the Oceans of Time, staring off into a horizon of fire and storm and cosmic winds. Pain and anger stained their shared past, dating back years to her time as a courtesan-trained-medic while in Palpatine’s court, when Thrawn was promoted to Grand Admiral on the eve of the Emperor’s death.

Until this moment, she never would have suspected Thrawn capable of suffering as other sentients. Loss, the great price of sacrificing the Ascendency to stall Abaddon’s dark ravaging of planetary systems, wrought lines of weariness heavy upon his brow, around his mouth. The shadow haunting the scarlet eyes cut raw in her heart.

Thrawn asked if her people, the Keltoi, had a word for the kind of grief that formed a void beyond emptiness. “A ballad or a lay, perhaps?” His words stumbling out in that eloquent cadence of velvet and steel, edged in bitterness. “The Keltoi—the legendary race of warrior-poets.”

Rhyanon couldn’t recall any from her youth. But then, her youth had been stolen prematurely, swept away by a brutal act of violence, taking her from everything she’d known and loved.

A memory came to her then, of her brother. Bard-trained Talhaiarn, an officer of the Keltoi fleet in service to the Ardrian Aeron Aoibhell. Warriors, the Keltoi as the Chiss, and Talhiarn renowned as a fearless pilot, a devoted commander. He’d indulged music’s magic as an escape from the horrors of war.

As she knelt before Thrawn, Rhyanon spoke gently. “I may have no verse to offer, but my brother often says the first song was born of sorrow so deep, words were inadequate to lift such sadness to the skies.”

Thrawn’s grief, his remorse, buried under the armor born of leadership, broke through, etched in rivulets of moisture, liquid garnet, like blood, rolling down his azure cheeks.

Rhyanon, with her biokinesis, accessed the nanoplexus integrated into her central nervous system. A graceful curl of her wrist, bend of a finger, she directed a green-gold plasmic current, capturing, analyzing the composition of his tears. The microscopic manifesting as vision, the molecular shaped into an endless weaving of threads imparting life. The profundity of sorrow captured like a globular prism, a raindrop, a teardrop, restless as the cosmic storms ravaging the horizon of this liminal plain.

“Chiss lacrimal secretions,” she murmured as he stared at the mirage coalesced between them, rapt by her enchantment, “while differing in certain constituents, hold a similar salinity to human tears, an osmolarity nearly matching the ocean waters.”

Rhyanon tried offering some other surcease beyond an academic text, wiping at a blood-tinged track from against his cheek. “Our tears flow, as our lives, and our griefs, rivers washed into the Sea where all things end. And emerge again.”

He searched her face, trying to find some salvation from the decisions he’d made. Dreamlike, she slowly leaned toward him, hearing his muted gasp at the softness of her lips upon his cheeks, his dark lashes, wet, salt like human tears—why would she expect differently—where she kissed away his silent sorrow. His surrending sigh as she chastely brushed his mouth with hers, held the synchronicity of their breath, shared in this precious moment.

When Rhyanon drew back, she seemed as mystified as he, her action leaving them both pensive. Her eyes drifted shut, as she turned from the wonder in Thrawn’s look.

And in those moments where Rhyanon still seemed held by that light first brush of lips, Thrawn, utterly mesmerized, reached toward her, her eyelids fluttering wide as he guided her face close. Before she could tense back, his mouth claimed hers, thirsting, seeking, wanting. Her breath caught in surprise, but she responded, easing to the exploration of lips and tongue, eyes closing once more, lost to the taste of warmth, and the heady euphoria of wandering hands, his arms encompassing her supple form, her hands clinging onto his shoulders and neck… ~ It was said, of the 5 Greatest Kisses in the Galaxy, this one was ranked somewhere in the top 10. A true Cold Mountain performance, as Kaylee might have approximated. Had she been there to witness the Kiss. But because no one of the Serenity crew, or the Wilde Kaarde had any idea what transpired between the biokinetically gifted Keltoi medic, and the former Grand Admiral, now Supreme Commander of the Imperial Remnant united with the Empire of the Hand, and they only found out about it after-the-fact, it was ranked in the top 10, without ever receiving any explicit ordinal denomination.

The Republic Alliance and the Fringe systems of the Terran Core were amid a truce with the Empire of the Hand, but the split of forces on either side of the spatial conduit had delayed progress. The conundrum of truncating communication and travel in the absence of the wormhole left River Tam with a puzzle more entertaining than figuring out how to overcome the thousands of meteors orbiting Coruscant, utilizing the antiquated tracking of spatial aquatonics, accelerated by River’s unique talents. A mind operating in fractal domains, dimensional analytics reducing equations to a few hours, that would have taken the Republic’s best physicists a month, she needed something else now, to keep her distracted, or the sound of Abaddon’s Reaver-Hybrid Clones, never far from her consciousness, might threaten the precarious hold she’d only recently recovered of her sanity after Miranda.

Thus, on that rare evening while Rhyanon and Thrawn continued groping and caressing each other like teenagers riding passion’s hormonal tidal wave, Ar’alani was subjected to learning why Terran humans seemed so obsessed with quoting script-lines from long-dead movies. A favorite of these oft-repeated one-liners: “as you wish,” Jayne, Serenity’s weapons-happy muscle-man, babbled every time Ar’alani drifted somewhere in his general vicinity.

This was the penance for losing the Girls’ Night Drinking Game to Zoe and Saffron—aka Mara Jade. Subjected to Jayne’s movie-night choice of Old Terra’s cinematic selection stored in Serenity’s archives. Who knew a man who strolled through civilian markets with a rocket-launcher on his shoulder because ya’ never knew what fruit-vendor might turn into an assasin indulged a secret fetish for romances.

Resignedly, Ar’alani settled back on the worn cushions of the sofa, housed in a back storage pit of the ramshackle smuggling ship. Serenity gloried in its disarray and disrepair like a flick-off to Talon Kaarde’s well-maintained vessel, and orderly crew.

Stale beer and cigara fumes filtered through the air of Serenity’s makeshift entertainment center, holos projecting what Jayne swore as the greatest movie of all time.

“Want some?” Jayne asked, rattling a bowl of heat-reactive seed kernels under her nose, crunching down on a fluffy piece of styrofoam-looking cellulose lathered in butter and salt.

Ar’alani’s expression puckered at the charred pungency of fumes wafting from the bowl, and altogether overwhelming for the refined senses of Chiss olfactory centers. “No, thank you,” she said, trying to keep the forebearsnce from her voice, seeing Jayne’s puppy-dog eyes. “And if you say, as you wish one more time, I’ll dump those seed kernels—popcorn—“the word awkward from her throat”— over your head.”

A mistake, she realized, quickly learning females speaking in a commanding voice only made Jayne more moon-eyed. Which was enough for Ar’alani to toss back another Ewok microbrew.

Keth roach piss would have tasted sweeter*, she thought spurring another curse at Thrawn for bringing them to this lost twilight realm. The crash site of his old Emperor’s mad battalion of destruction. She chokied down the beverage, because drunk was the only way she could envision sustaining Jayne’s company for the next 2 hours, and hoped whatever involved the Supreme Commander in that moment, it was either thoroughly tormenting or worse, boring to the point of death.

When she learned later, the indulgence that had indeed occupied Thrawn, she had no regret for the data-pad aimed at his head from across the conference desk of his office. Thrawn caught the object effortlessly of course, which irked her all the more. Fuming, Ar’alani stalked out from the office, vowing over her shoulder as she exited between the sliding doors, Thrawn could spend the next movie-night subjected to Jayne’s visual art tastes, his rancid popcorn, and cheap alcohol. She heard the low laughter in her wake, the words, “As you wish,” reaching her as the doors whisked shut.

For a moment, she considered turning back around, marching through the doors, up to Thrawn, glaring fire to match the subtle teasing glint in his eyes. And stuffing as you wish right back at him.

As entertaining as the vision was, of smashing a few more data-pads over Thrawn’s polished composure, Ar’alani prided herself on possessing the rare trait of taking the high-road, as the saying went.

Especially because of the laughter. That had been good to hear. Clean, honest laughter, something like joy and the bravado she recalled when Thrawn had been an infuriating captain under her command.

After all the loss, the death, and decimation swallowing their Galaxy, with Abaddon, and forces of the Coroniad-Virathi [read: my analog to the Grysk, but adapted from the Keltiad verse] still afoot. It was the first time she’d heard that sound from him in decades. And if it took basting the Keltoi medic—Mal Reynolds kept calling her Gaia—in reference to some ancient Terran goddess that recalled Rhyanon’s abilities of organic molecular manipulation. Well, Ar’alani decided, if this was what followed a good basting for Thrawn, it was better than the melancholy devouring him since the Battle of the Event Horizon.

So, she held her peace that day, hope’s candle, a flicker in the storm, but present, wakening for the first time since she’d led the few Chiss survivors to this rendezvous of Endor, fleeing their home-worlds, a cold rage constricting her chest, watching Csilla’s incinerated caracass fade away like a million ashes blasted across the Star-ways.

Hope, that flickering candle in Ar’alani’s mind. She strode down the passage to the main hanger-port, notified of General Skywalker’s return with a new collection of refugees from the Infernal Regions bordering the dimensional rift left by the Wormole’s collapse, dubbed Ginngungagap, after some other archaic Terranism.

Echoing through her mind, with that candle, the words, As you wish, yourself, Vu’rawn.

#Thrawn #Grand Admiral Thrawn #Star Wars #Firefly/Serenity #the Keltiad #Rhyanon ferch Garowen #Ar’alani #AU crossover #Space Opera #omg—my notes are strewn through notebooks in micro writing—oh-and in my IPAD notes…how am I ever going to compose this into coherency #in the way that requires reading on obscure topics and more verse-fanlore than any #Working professional adult ought to be perusing #but so fun #and Thrawn is such a classic romantic tragic icon—I honestly think he fits the Romantic era hero so well

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owainbradys · 1 year

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Characters whose vanilla selves I wish would debut in feh this year

Archanea: Warren, Frey, Midia, Lorenz, Etzel, Arlen, Frost

Valentia: Jesse, Marla, Hestia, Nuibaba, Jedah

Jugdral: Diarmuid, Patty, Lana, Lester, Beowulf, Brigid, Ishtore, Édain, Saffy, Linoan, Amalda, Ralf, Aida, Bleg*

Elibe: Vaida, Isadora, Harken, Marcus, Brendan, Murdock, Nergal, Athos, Juno, Zelot, Lance, Sigune, Lot

Magvel: Ismaire, Morva, Artur, Vanessa, Syrene, Moulder, Garcia, Gilliam, Franz, Glen

Tellius: Lucia, Greil, Renning, Heather, Callil, Boyd, Lyre, Kieran, Ena, Gareth, Giffca, Ulki, Largo Almedha **

Ylisse: Kellam, Laurent, Pheros, Validar

Hoshido and Nohr: Scarlet, Sophie, Mitama, Reina, Yukimura, Izana, Fuga, Mikoto, Sumeragi, Anankos

Fódlan: Caspar, Dorothea, Leonie, Lorenz, Raphael, Alois, Manuela, Cyril, Rhea, Judith, Nader, Randolph, Matthias, Leopold, Waldemar, Thales

Zenith: Henriette, Freyr, Fafnir, Elm, Bruno ***

Cipher: Shade, Yuzu, Niamh

Aytolis: Darios, Lianna, Rowan, Velezark

#fe heroes #*Bleg will never be in Heroes but she could be a late stage meme ghb #**Idk how they would implement her either but she is an icon honestly #***Bruno can have little a unexplained ressurrection. as a treat #ref #gonna compare at the end of the year to see who got in #I don't think there's any prize for guessing that Elyos characters will dominate this year #which is cool! I have faves waiting to meet in a week or so! :)#also no I don't think Warriors 1 characters will ever be in Heroes but I love them ❤

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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year

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IAD Hero Power Rankings: Part Eleventy

Finished Shadow's Claim, which is the first ~Dacian book. Much high fantasy with vampires and demons, lots of fighting to the death, and a super hot hero who did the classic "here, it's a bag of heads" move, which was great but did not, unfortunately, win him the top spot.

Lothaire, the Enemy of Old, vampire, Lothaire

Pros:

–well you can’t say he isn’t goal-oriented

–takes kids trick or treating

–does not support rape or child murder; and he actually likes dogs a lot!

–“ELIZABETH. WITH MY COMPLIMENTS. YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR CLAWS INTO ANOTHER ONE OF MINE. ROT IN HELL. L.” he says as he tries to make a point when sending her his Heart in a Box ™, failing to make that point because it’s clear that he’s just sitting in his murder castle listening to teardrops on my guitar on repeat

–listen between the tittyfucking and the “let me drink my heroine’s virgin’s blood after I very literally pop her cherry” moment, you can’t call him boring

–actually hilarious, basically just a very scary vampire with a to-do list punting decapitated heads around like they’re soccer balls

–just did some shifter beheadings!!! it not like he goes around cockslapping gnomes!!!!

–loves a couch sex moment

Cons:

–does support murdering everyone else if need be, casting out innocent souls to achieve his aims, unleashing untold evil, trench coats, biting unwilling people and being like “look if it gets weird go with it”

–clinically insane

–will forget someone he was talking to like half an hour ago because he’s lost all concept of time and space, will talk to himself during sex to be like “DON’T KILL HER @ me!!!”

–Ellie spends like 30% of this book covered in his semen, to the point that she literally just goes to sleep in it in order to piss the demon inhabiting her body off

–I thought he couldn’t sleep because of his madness but when you get to his POV he’s like “MY DICK IS TOO HARD FOR ME TO SLEEP”

–watches everyone have sex, which, considering this series, is a lot of people. I don’t even think it’s sexual it’s just his shit

–his only friend is a teenage quarterback, but then again, that QB is Thad and Thad is God

–put the Valkyrie queen underwater to drown eternally and forgot where she was lmao (this came out before The Old Guard…..)

–was into “juvenile skullfucking”

2. Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros:

–invented “werewolf versus demon” basketball because he was SADS

–smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

–gets Lucia off through prison bars…. a determined man

–engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he’s just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit… he sees it as foreplay

–is actually truly the most woke werewolf hero; rightly points out to Lucia that she’s not exaaaactly being chaaaaste when he’s tearing that shit up every night even if there’s no penetration; keeps himself from going full moon crazy with magic in order to keep Lucia from being pressured into sex with him, and even when that magic breaks super holds back until she makes a conscious decision; does not do the Ritual Doggy Style Full Moon thing because he wants to look into her eeeeeeyes and ground her and even puts her on top, a KING

–catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I’m crying

–“lass, I’m about to make you a widow” …. this shit works every time

–even a GOD can’t make him hurt Lucia

Cons:

–does not believe that women should have jobs after they find their werewolf soulmates, but to be fair, he is completely right, why the hell would I work if I had a rich werewolf soulmate who hunts big game for me and does all the cooking and cleaning and work and shit

–is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

–is honestly big stupid about a lot of things… plan for keeping his woman from pursuing her immortal mission was “I’ll just fuck her until she passes out and then I’ll go do big mission for her”, admirable but not flaw-free logic

–was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

–BIG “dumb younger brother” energy

–“we’re werewolves we’re very curious and always have to solve mysteries” lmao okay Scooby Doo

3. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she’s evil and he’s all “awwww baby I don’t understand why they don’t like you :(” when she’s committed, like, war crimes… down ridiculous…

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

–has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

4. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

5. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

6. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

7. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

—just extremely determined… his heroine can’t bear skin to skin contact? He’s gonna use an icicle as a dildo. He fucked up so bad she fled to an ice kingdom? Well, he’s gonna fucking find her

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–I mean does bitch a lot about how sexually frustrated he is but his heroine is an ice princess who can’t stand skin to skin contact without extreme pain so……………………… I do get it blue balls kill

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

8. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

9. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

10. Trehan Daciano/Prince of Shadows, vampire, Shadow's Claim

Pros:

--has MAGICAL INVISIBLE-MAKING MIST

--beats the shit out of everyone in this book, basically.... hot

--is apparently a really good uncle when he's not trying to kill his relatives

--was actually extremely romantic with Bettina and liked her dumb little weapons designs. Would see her be like "I think I should make a poisoned bracelet" and go "fucking genius"

--goes from being super rational to FULL ON FUCKING INSANE and that's hot

--says at one point that he'll figure out what to do with their various relationship issues once he's inside her, which I certainly was not mad at

--that time he told Bettina to refrain from touching herself until he could do it for her, we love to see it

Cons:

--was the second!!! person in this series to take Lothaire's romantic advice, which was admittedly correct but suggests his own lack of judgment

--sat in his library and sadly masturbated for weeks (while Lothaire watched)

--watched Bettina sleeping, which I wasn't personally upset with, but I guess that's inappropriate

--that time they were like "your challenge is to give the princess what she'd want most" and he gave her a bag of heads and went ".... fuck" when everyone in the room didn't get it

--held back on biting Bettina for forever, which was dumb and unhorny of him

11. Declan Chase/Aidan the Fierce/Gabriel/Edward/whoever the fuck else he was, berserker, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

Pros:

–I mean you can’t really go wrong with someone who is so determined to have his heroine that he just defies death and keeps coming back throughout the ages

–probably the only employee at Torture Island to get in trouble for workplace sexual harassment…. impressive

–that time he cried after suffocating Regin (it must be truuuuue love truuuuuue love)

–that bathtub scene where he was like “wait no actually I’m taking over this weird sexual interplay thing we have going on”

–his days-long island hike grovel where he was like just sadly walking around and being like *eye emoji* at Regin…. hilarious

Cons:

–I actually totally got why Regin forgave him (true love + dick too bomb) but personally I feel like it’s basically impossible that Lachlain and Rydstrom and Sabine are gonna let the shit he pulled slide forever so suspension of disbelief was rough there

–he did vivisect a MacRieve, and I am nothing if not a MacRieve Stan For Lyfe

–the drug addiction issues are rough

–that time he had to let Lothaire bite his neck whenever he wanted and Lothaire was like “if I call you a girl’s name just go with it” and it DIDN’T turn into sex? Sads

12. Malkolm Slaine, demon/vampire, Demon from the Dark

Pros:

–we love a virgin hero always

–gave Carrow the heads of her enemies As A Treat

–very good at giving sensual baths

–a responsible, loving step-demon to what is admittedly an annoying child

–made Rydstrom, Nikolai, Garreth, and Myst all “YOU WANNA GO BRO???” in what was by far one of the funniest parts of the series

Cons:

–honestly a very sweet guy

–swallows toothpaste TWICE

–comes against Carrow’s leg like thirty seconds after meeting her (actually a pro in terms of hilarity)

–TOO BIG, WON’T FIT (pro)

–could’ve been meaner, I’m not gonna lie

13. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–all but a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

#romance novel blogging #immortals after dark #i always feel bad for keeping sebastian wroth last because i need to reread his book #and give him a proper go #i like barely remember it and i'm trash for the wroth bros so he'd probably rank higher nowadays #honestly may re-rank because a part of me feels like declan chase is a slightly better hero than trehan #even if trehan is hotter for sure #like.... DC is a loon but he's kind of an icon

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